#I wish I could do summer school but I don't have money

[haeva]

Soooo if I pass both of my exams this semester I will have ten weeks of free time and I have no idea what to do with it. Anybody's got suggestions for cool new hobbies to pick up?

[lucrativesoul]

Welcome Home

summary: you finally graduated college and are home free for the summer, planning to spend as much time as possible with your best friend. what you weren't planning for, however, was the incredible sight of her older brother, Leon, who had drastically changed after all those years. you had never thought you would fall for your best friend's brother.

pairing: leon kennedy (re2) x fem! reader

word count: 9.3k

warnings: smut, bathroom sex, public sex, fingering, dom(ish) leon

a/n: guys, thank you endlessly for 300+ followers, 250+ reblogs and all those likes! i'd like you all to take a moment to read this, apologies... i absolutely love writing. I've been writing for ten years! crazy. i do it for fun, and because i want to put out the content that i want to consume and i want to be that outlet for people who don't write but want to consume, that is just as fair! a while ago, while writing this, my laptop gave me a scare. i'm realizing now that its a 5 year old macbook, which, in apple timeline, means it might be on the way out at the blink of an eye. if you are feeling generous at all, i have created a ko-fi. it is absolutely not necessary, because i'm not doing this blog for money, but if you really love my work and want other ways to support me, it's there. i will never be upset at no donations, but i made it in hopes that i'm on this blog for a long time. so sorry for the rambling, i really hope you guys enjoy this one, and i will be back soon for a fifth fic. love u!

No matter how many young adult fiction books you read, how many love story tropes you think you have seen, there was just one that seemed so unreasonable, it was almost laughable. Because, after all, you spent way too much time with this person to ever even see him as attractive, it had never even crossed your mind. Come on, your best friend’s brother? The boy who was so ungracious, messy, impolite, and had a crude, childish sense of humor? It was just unrealistic.

Until… It was realistic.

For all your life, you looked at Leon Kennedy as the young, bumbling boy who tripped over his own two feet at any given opportunity, ready to make jokes at inappropriate times and constantly worked overtime to barge in when you and your best friend were hanging out. He was only two years older than you, but his personality read the same age, if not, younger. Boys will be boys…

You always knew that college would change a person, and you can’t deny that about yourself, but it was so hard to look at the people you were closest to and imagine that they, too, changed with college. Your best friend was still the same person you knew since middle school, and all those years that you knew Leon, he had never changed, until he left for college himself. You were confident in knowing that when he came back, he would be the same exact person, just… older.

You could not have been more wrong.

“These days could not go by any faster.” Your best friend whined to you over the phone, a daily routine between the two of you. “I need you home ASAP, Leon is driving me crazy. He’s being so loud.”

Yep, that sounded pretty in character for him. “I know, just five more days, and I’m home free, forever. I wish commencement wasn’t even happening at this rate, I’m wasting away here.”

You were finishing up your last days as a college senior at a school that was a thousand miles away from home. The scholarship opportunity was incredible, and you could not say no to this offer. Your best friend chose to stay local, which you inwardly criticized, but would never say to her. You knew her parents could have afforded to send her here, who needs that big of a house for a family of four anyway?!

Commencement was set to happen on Thursday, and it was currently Sunday. Your own parents had flown in to watch you walk the stage, and while you knew your best friend would have dropped everything to come as well, her school chose to hold theirs on the same exact day. Figures.

“I miss you guys. The summers I came home just weren't enough. I have to say, I’m so glad this internship bullshit is over. It feels like I haven’t ever even lived with you.”

You heard her groan on the other line. “I know! It’s so stupid. Why would a program even make it so you could only intern in the summer? Don't they know you are only in your twenties once?!”

You laughed at her remark, gazing off as you continued the conversation. Classes were over and exams were concluded, at least you had a healthy pile of books to go through to pass the time. You decided to worry about the logistics of taking them home at a later date.

There’s something so innocent about getting lost in the world of young adult romance. Some would say it makes their own lives dreary, coming to the conclusion that they could never live out these fantasies in the real world, but to you, it felt real anyways. It only made you happier. It puts some optimism in your life.

The comfy plane read you chose was about a high school girl, absolutely smitten over the five-years-older brother of her best friend. This type of thing, you thought, just seemed too… fairytale, to be real. In no world where you knew someone as a child could you grow up and think they were an object of fantasy. You tried picturing you and Leon in this situation. Never!

Admittedly, you haven’t seen Leon in like 4 years. The last time you saw him, it was right before you left for college, and your major requires summer internships which leave a very small window for home visits. You never crossed paths during those times. From what your friend tells you, he’s rarely home now, he must have migrated to a new group of friends in college and found other passions. Good for him, you thought, you wish you could say the same, but you needed the income from whatever job you landed from your internship.

He was never really a tiny boy in high school, he was of a pretty average build and rivaled some of the football players, but he was not an athletic kid. You can’t imagine him changing that much more, your best friend never talked about him like that, obviously, so, you only had to imagine after the last time you saw him.

From your own personal standpoint, it was just impossible to believe in this best friend’s brother trope. You shut the book and closed your eyes, willing the plane to start moving faster.

As soon as your plane touched down, you whipped your phone out to send a text: As soon as all this shit is put away, I’m coming straight over.

Predictably, less than three minutes later: YES!! All nighter, we’re 14 again. I have drinks in the fridge.

Willing yourself through all the pleasantries of coming home, promising other relatives you would be by in a few days when you are settled, you merely threw your suitcase down into your room before dashing out to your car, knowing the route to your best friend’s house even with your eyes closed. 

A tight, running start hug was the intro you both needed as a fresh start to the summer.

“Please tell me you are home for good now, they aren't making you do any more summer internships?”

You laughed as you followed her into the house. It felt like it’s been forever since you’ve been in this large house’s lived-in walls. “No, thank god. I’m officially done. Except for job hunting, but I’m putting that off for as long as I can get away with it.”

“Agreed.”

As you followed her up the steps to her room, snacks and drinks spilling over your arms, a loud cacophony rang out through the house, coming from the garage. “What the hell is that?” You stopped short, listening to it through the closed door.

“Wow, that’s how I really know it’s been forever since you’ve been here. I’m so used to it now. It’s a band that Leon is a part of. The ‘rents loaned out a car space in the garage.”

Wow, you thought, multiple things to dissect here. One: this has been going on for some time now, and you never knew. You didn’t blame your friend for not bringing it up, it wasn’t weird to not mention a new hobby of her brother’s. Two: Leon apparently knew how to play an instrument. You couldn’t recall anytime seeing him play anything, and he had never expressed an interest in singing, so that was difficult to digest. Three: their parents would give up a car space just for them to do this. They still had two car spaces left in there.

“God, it’s really been that long, huh? I’ll have to get him to spill all about this whenever he comes out.”

You heard a groan from in front of you on the stairs, and you hopped up to be beside her, headed to her bedroom. “If you can even catch him. He’s like a slippery snake. Plus, he’s so private, I don't know what happened to him. Anyway, you should come over tomorrow night and pregame with me and the girls, cause…” 

She droned on, and while you still had half of your brain paying attention to her, you couldn’t help but think about that sentence she just said. Leon’s different now? The slippery snake part didn’t make many waves, you weren’t surprised that a man in his mid twenties didn’t want to be bothered, but you didn’t expect a whole new personality to come out of him. What happened while he was gone? Or, what kind of epiphany did he have?

“Oh, my god, look at this, too. I totally forgot to send you this. I’m so mad you missed it!”

Your best friend shoved a phone in your face, and you took it, grateful for the mental topic switch. It was a group of four girls and five boys, your old friends, standing along a cliffside in bathing suits. You assumed this was the cliff jumping extravaganza you heard about over the phone a couple weeks ago. And, yes, you were also mad you missed it.

“This looked like so much fun, I haven't seen all of them in forever. Maybe we can convince everyone to do it again soon.” You looked up and smiled as your friend laughed. You looked back down to the photo. “Who is this?”

She leaned over you as you zoomed in on a man in the top right, his lower half covered by a girl bending forward for a photo, but you could tell he was incredibly toned. His hair was pushed back with water from the lake below, and a broad smile graced his features. You sensed familiarity, but you had never met this person before.

Your friend scoffs. “Girl, what? That’s Leon.”

“What?!” Has it really been that long since you’ve seen Leon in person? Now that you look at it again, yep, that’s definitely him, but why does he look so different? Thinking back, it wasn’t often you spent time with him around after he graduated high school and went to college. You saw him probably even less than you visited home during your college career, and honestly, it has probably been years since you’ve seen him at all. “He looks so… different.”

“Like I said, I don’t know what happened. Maybe he won’t recognize you either.” You handed her phone back to her. Maybe, you wondered, but you doubted it. Nothing about you changed at all. You woke up every day waiting for a magical overnight nose job and five month glute progress from the gym that you didn’t go to, but it never happened. 

The night carried on, the strange questions about Leon’s college whereabouts pushed to the back of your mind. It felt so good to be back home. The summer was only just getting started, and with the buzz running through your system, you couldn't feel anything except excitement.

“I’m out of water, fuckkk,” You moaned. Your friend giggled at you. 

“Go get some. And don’t fall.” If you were any more sober you would have glared at her for this, reminding you of the time you drunkenly took a tumble down her stairs, but right now, it was only a funny memory as you totally didn’t have an iron grip on the railing as you walked down.

The rest of the house was dark and quiet now. You remembered her saying her parents were somewhere else, so you hadn’t seen them at all tonight, and there was no longer heavy music coming from the garage. You instinctively turned your head that way, like it would magically start up again.

You stumbled over to the refrigerator, yanking it open and hearing all the bottles clink around on the door. It took you a second to collect your bearings, but after a few more seconds, water was located, and you let your eyes readjust to the darkness as you shut the door. A figure in the darkness made you yelp.

“Goddamnit, you scared me!” You placed a hand over your beating heart.

A deep laugh floated through the air at this, but you were still partially blinded. “Hey, you. I’m sorry, I thought you were my sister.”

Leon. 

You blinked hard a few times, willing the night vision to return, and a little bit of your drunkenness away. You took a hard look at the man in front of you, as good of a look as you could. You only saw a silhouette, a dark shirt, hair over his forehead, and he was taller than you, wider, stronger. This was not the Leon you remember from high school.

“Leon. It’s so nice to see you.” You tried your hardest to sound normal, but surely he already knew what the two of you were up to.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” Slowly, your vision was returning, and his facial features were becoming prominent. Eyes. Mouth. Smile. “Congratulations on graduating, back home for good now?” 

“Yeah, yes. Thank god. Thank you.” You could now tell you were fumbling over your words, and suddenly wanting nothing more than to go back upstairs. “I’ll be here a lot more often now, so get used to me.” You walked around him back to the stairs, listening to that low chuckle that you got out of him. God, you really needed another drink.

The night and next day bore on with nothing too important left to remember about it, as long as you were in the confort of your home town again getting fucked up with nowhere to be, it was a great time as far as you were concerned. 

Though, despite continuing to drink that night and waking up a little unsteady the next morning, you couldn’t shake that brief encounter you had with Leon. You could barely see him in the dark, but you could already tell he looked different. His build was wider than the last time you saw it, he even looked a little taller. He had only ever been maybe an inch above you, but since he disappeared to college, it looked like he went up at least five. Or maybe you were shrinking. 

You were mad it was so dark and you were on the edge of tipsy and drunk to be able to clearly see him. You saw him in the photo of the outing at the cliffside, but you really didn't want to believe that was him. He was almost… sexy.

Which was crazy. You had never thought of Leon like that. Yes, there was some sort of novelty to having a crush on the only consistent older man in your life whom you weren’t related to, but whenever you came face to face with him, it was just normal. You felt nothing, he was just there. 

But this… this could change everything. Was he actually attractive now? God knows you weren’t the best at being normal around people who you thought were attractive, and that could make things infinitely awkward with being around your best friend so often. And your best friend, what would she even think? You can’t confide in her to tell her you might think her older brother is hot. This was all messed up. This is not how you wanted summer to start.

–

A few days had passed with no rift, and your momentary crisis left with no memory. You discovered, though, as much as you couldn’t wait for summer to roll around so you could be free of your duties, your days were much more boring than you had anticipated. With your past summer internships, you were always busy, and had one or two days a week to rest at most. But now, with the summer sun high in the sky and no requirements of you anymore, you were at a loss of anything to do other than sit by your best friend’s pool, baking in the heat.

“They’re having some start-of-summer party going on in one of the campus houses tonight, are we down?”

You didn’t move your head nor open your eyes as your friend spoke to you. “Yeah, sure. It will be more of a time than drinking with just us.”

She sighed. “You can say that again.”

You pushed yourself up off the chair. “I’ll be back, don’t drown.”

You listened to her sarcastic response as you went inside the house, needing a moment to cool down, and to refill your drink. As you slid the glass door shut, you were greeted with the sound of loud instruments, reminding you of the first night you came here once returning from school. Leon must have had his bandmates come over some time while the both of you were outside, as you don’t remember hearing this, or seeing anyone else. You ignored it, and stalked past the door, headed upstairs to the kitchen.

The music stopped, a door opened, and chatter became clearer without the barrier. You didn’t know who else Leon could have here, you didn’t know his friends, and you were suddenly too aware of the bikini you had on. Whatever, you soothed your anxiety, I look good.

“Oh, hey.” You turned around at the strange voice, not recognizing the person standing at the stairway, headed towards the kitchen. “Now it’s a party.”

“Dude, gross.” A more familiar voice followed quickly behind the quip, and Leon’s head became visible as he climbed the stairs. “Sorry.” He spoke now to you, visibly doing his best to keep eye contact with you. Now you could really feel your half-nakedness. 

“Doesn’t sound like you guys are making much progress out there.” You joked, turning your head back to where you were filling your water bottle. You heard Leon’s friend laugh, making a remark along the lines of blaming other people in the band, but you unintentionally tuned him out.

“We’re trying.” Leon was closer to you now, and when you turned, his friend had disappeared, probably into the bathroom. Leon was grabbing drinks from the fridge, and the two of you were separated by the kitchen island, sunlight illuminating both of you.

His hair was a shade darker than you remembered it being, still blonde, but almost brown. It came down to touch his ears, and the pieces of bangs on his forehead were clumped together with sweat. He had on a gray tank, the ones with the arm holes that go down to your ribcage. His arms, god, those arms–

“Doing anything fun out there?” He walked around the island, even closer to you now, getting cups from the cabinets. 

You shook your head. “Just trying to become a leather couch while I’m still young.” You fixed the top of your water bottle back on, but didn’t move from your spot, taking the chance to talk to Leon.

“That’s the spirit.” He placed the cups down on the counter and leaned on it, clearly standing around to talk to you, too. You noticed a bandage wrapped around his right hand as he crossed his arms.

“What happened there? Start scrapping with the wrong people?” 

He lifted it and looked at it, like he just realized it was there. He laughed softly. “This might sound gross, but it's just a callus that burst open the other day. Right when I was used to holding drumsticks all the time.”

You sighed a gentle laugh. “Doesn’t that hurt, still using it?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I just didn’t want to start touching shit and get it all gross again.” He set his hand back down. You took the silence to ask another question. 

“When did the drums start? That was never a thing as far as I can remember.” He looked down, slowly nodding his head, as if trying to piece together memories of what his life was like the last time he saw you.

He sighed. “I kind of picked it up during college. I thought it was a lot of fun. I knew a lot of guys at the time who were in a bunch of different bands, so they had access to all these instruments, and I tried a bunch, but the only one that stuck was drums. I guess it’s easy and I like it only because I still can’t read sheet music for the life of me.”

You smiled softly at his explanation. Looking at him in the daylight, now, you can see the old him in his features. He grew into his face, his cheekbones slightly more pronounced, and his dimpled chin fitting perfectly into his jawline. His eyes were soft, yet tired. Still the bright blue you remember them being.

“Are you any good?”

He smiled fully at this, looking back up to you. “Of course. I know it sounds like ass right now, but we’re trying out some new stuff. But, and maybe I’m just biased, I think we have some really solid potential.”

You shrugged, a grin still present on your face. “I’ll have to see it to believe it.”

Leon stood up now, grabbing the cups and the still tied together 6-pack. “I agree. We’re doing a local show next Wednesday night. I’m always inviting my sister, but she doesn’t like going alone, and the rest of your friends don’t like that bar.” You smiled at this. Sounds typical of your friends. “Maybe she will come if you will. And, uh, if you’re still with that guy, he can come, too.”

Your brow furrowed at this. “Guy?”

Leon shrugged. “Oh, well, she told me in passing that you were with some guy last summer. From around here.”

You paused to think about this, nearly forgetting your whole past trying to rake your brain for a memory. It then hit you. “Oh, shit, yeah, that was definitely just a summer thing. He was…” A douche, conceited, horrible at sex. “Not the best. I’m not seeing anybody. And definitely not while school was in. I was way too busy for that.” 

He nodded, standing up a little straighter. “Well, that’s good. And fuck that guy.” You giggled at his support. “I think you should come. I’d be happy to see you there.”

And, oddly, for the first time ever speaking with Leon, your stomach did a flip that only ever happened when you were talking to someone whom you liked. It caught you off guard, and your words caught on your throat.

You nodded quickly, using the opportunity to take a deep breath in. “Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ve got the time to, now.”

“Cool. I won’t disappoint, I promise.” With that, Leon bounded back across the room and down the stairs, opening and shutting the door to the garage. You sighed deeply. You didn’t like the feeling that was creeping up inside of you.

Putting your newfound conundrum aside for the night, you resolved to let loose and get back to enjoying the summer the way you had intended to. You were almost tempted to stick around and listen once his band got started with the music again as you were on your way outside, but decided against it, as your friend would surely be asking what took so long. 

Part of you wished Leon had gone to this little party tonight, considering he knew all of your mutual friends, but he was never the party type before this, and it seemed that college did not change that much either. It would make sense if he had a gig coming up, they must be preparing, but you didn’t picture him to be much of a perfectionist. Maybe that changed as well.

–

“Why are we going to this again?” Your friend asked as she followed you out of her house, locking the door behind her. She seemed awfully quick to keep up with you for complaining about doing something she doesn't want to.

“I don’t know, it gives us something to do. Leon asked me to come. Now you’re coming with me.”

“What? Why did Leon ask you to come? He doesn't ask me.” The two of you slid into her sleek black coupe. 

You shrugged as you fastened the belt. “I saw him the other day when I was here, I came in while we were out by the pool. We were just talking. And he said he does invite you, by the way, but you never go.”

She was the one to shrug this time. “Maybe he does. You think there will be hot men here?”

“We’re both hoping.” You half-assed the response, but you already knew the answer was yes. You could never tell her you think Leon is attractive now. You had been mulling it over the past few days, ever since you spoke to him, and you had no choice but to confirm it. He really, really grew into his body. You could even push the curiosity aside to wonder what it was about college that changed him like that, you were just thankful it happened.

Your local bar looked just as you remembered, dark and looming from the outside, people filing in and out simultaneously. It was much busier than you had ever seen it, but the show was most likely the reason for the sudden influx in customers.

The crowd was a thick mass, and you had trouble even spotting the stage when you walked in, but once you and your friend had found a nice little corner, vacant of bodies, and conveniently found a third mutual friend to stand by, the room seemed a little less stuffy.

You absentmindedly scanned the crowd, people hoarding in front of the stage, waiting to be the first to break open the mosh pit, presumably, people in the back drinking idly and chatting, almost like they don't even know a show is happening this night. You found yourself looking for Leon. He was in the building somewhere. You wished you could have told him you were there, but what good would that have done? He wouldn’t have come out to say hello, there were preparations to be had back there.

God, shut up already, you willed at yourself, annoyed at the mere fact that you couldn’t stop thinking of Leon.

Admittedly, you thought of that first scene more often than not recently. The muscle shirt, ribcage exposed, thick arms, sweet smile and bouncy cheeks with a strong jawline, the vision came to you during the day, at breakfast, while you were scrolling your phone, late at night, when the moon was your only company. 

You wondered what he would look like tonight. You were so anxious for him to step out on stage. Would he see you?

Your friend stumbled sideways into you, knocking you out of your monetary stupor. People were now starting to crowd in, hence the bump, and you were assuming the start of the set was about to happen.

On cue, the lights went darker, the roar of the crowd exploded, and people rushed on stage and took their places. Your eyes were instantly drawn to Leon, who, from what you could only see from the backlight so far, had on another muscle shirt. It made your legs feel like jelly.

The lights went on, and after a brief introduction from the front man who was holding a guitar, they started. Leon was right, they were pretty good when they weren’t rehearsing new material. You knew this wasn’t the type of music your best friend was into, but to your surprise, she was bopping away with your other mutual friend, both of them holding drinks. That’s probably why.

Turning back, you could see Leon clearly under the lights now, which were strobing in and out, flashing different colors and patterns. His hair was pushed back this time, exposing his forehead, and looking brand new. You liked the way it looked on him, it made him almost look older. Everytime a strong beam of light would shine down on him, you could see the glistening sweat on his skin, his face. He was so focused on hitting the beats, and succeeded everytime, and you were so enticed by it.

This was a side of Leon you never thought you would see. It was so clear, standing in the crowd watching, how much he belonged up there. He looked so confident, every move was made with ease, no hesitation, and you could feel yourself melting.

It was like a headrush, you didn’t think you would enjoy it this much, but clearly, every moment took your breath away. Yes, you were looking at Leon the whole time, but who could really tell?

Soon enough, the show ended, and the crowd was applauding for what felt like ten minutes as the individual members left the stage, thanked everyone, hopped down to talk to others. You were interrupted with your people-watching when your friend grabbed you by the elbow to let you know she was headed back to the bar for more drinks, and you absentmindedly nodded while you turned back.

You caught the back of Leon, dipping behind the stage into the back of the bar. The tips of your fingers tingled with… something, some emotion you couldn’t read… and you let your body take over as you weaved through the crowd, headed to the back.

People bumped you and yelled in your ears as you squeezed in between them, paying them no mind, on a mission of your own.

After a few seconds, you reached a hallway, a few people lingering by the bathrooms, and you spotted someone, you recognized him as the frontman, dipping behind another doorway, chattering loudly to people behind the wall. Times like this, you wished you had decided to down some liquid courage.

You stalked slowly over to the doorway, seeing flashes of shadow as people walked by, unsure if you should hang out or go in. Most likely, you weren’t welcome, it was probably for performers only, but you couldn’t help it, you continued inching closer, drawn in by an unseen force.

As you took another step inward, a figure rushed out and crashed right into you. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, bathrooms are that way if you’re looking for them, this is restricted access.” You looked up at the man you walked into, you didn’t know who it was. 

“Oh, um…” You backed up a step, and though he was making moves to walk around you, he was waiting for a response. “I was actually waiting for Leon… the drummer.” You added in the title, just in case this was a man who worked at the bar with no affiliation to the band. But, to your relief, he nodded.

“I’ll get him, just chill over there, ‘kay?”

You dumbly nodded and backed up again. The hallway was lit with fluorescents, the bright white kind, but it was still dark, with the walls and floors looking slick with condensation. You opted not to lean up against them.

“Hey, you’re still here?” A voice snapped your head back over to your left, and you saw Leon walking towards you. “You didn’t leave with the rest of them?” He must have seen your other friend there as well.

You shook your head. “They’re still here, I think. Just getting drinks.” He nodded. “I told you I would come.” You held your arms out in a here I am gesture. He laughed.

“I’m so glad. I didn’t see you while I was up there, but… I do tend to just tune everything else out when I play.”

“You did great. You were really good.” You spoke, almost breathless for no apparent reason. 

He smiled softly, his eyes holding contact with yours. “Thank you.” His hair was now starting to fall back into place on his forehead, his face was still red with exerted energy. Your eyes wandered, without your permission, his arms were shining under the hallway lights, still sweaty. You looked away, but he saw. “You look great tonight.” His voice was low, and a twist went straight down your abdomen.

You smiled back. You briefly looked down at your outfit, simply a short skirt and loose band tee. “Thank you. It’s nothing.” 

“I like it.” He looked back into your eyes, and you found yourself lost for words. He broke eye contact for a second, turned around and looked into the back room where, presumably, the rest of his bandmates were. He turned back to you. “You know,” He looked down, and took a step forward towards you, slowly, as if to test the waters. You stayed put. “It’s been so long since I saw you last. I almost didn’t recognize you the first night you were at the house.” You grinned at the memory. You were also equally stunned to not know Leon had changed so much. “Not that you weren’t before but… You’re beautiful, now.” 

Your stomach sank at his words, and with his new proximity to you, it caused you to have to look up at him. You felt a strong shiver course up your body.

“I really… I didn’t recognize you. You look so different, too.” You whispered, knowing he was close enough to hear you. “I didn’t even think it was you at first.”

He simply stared at you for a few more moments, taking in your words, and the way you looked in front of him right now. You were suddenly self conscious, but his gaze seemed to tell you that he liked whatever he saw.

“I… don’t want to back you into any corners here…” He looked down, still not meeting your eyes. “But you’re giving me a… vibe. And I’d rather fuck around and find out than never know if I don’t try.”

You stood up straighter, coming closer to meet his face, his eyes finally touching back onto yours. “What kind of vibe?” You had to say something, anything, because you could barely comprehend this situation right now. Leon was catching a vibe from you? Could he tell that you were looking at his body? Could he tell that you thought he became very sexy?

He tilted his head a little further, and his brow bone cast a shadow over his eyes, darkening them. Another shiver down your body. He shrugged. “I think I just… think you are incredibly attractive, now.” His eyes darted down your body for a quick second before resuming their previous place. “And I want to know if you want to just try it out. Just once.”

You took a quick, silent breath in. He must have been picking up your messages, even though you said nothing and only spoke to him once. Was that one conversation that powerful? Was it the hint you dropped about not being with that guy anymore? Was this something he just knew he was going to attempt as soon as he saw you? You didn’t know, and you really didn’t have the time to think it over.

You reached up and placed a hand on his chest, slowly taking the shirt on his body in your hands, pulling him closer, but with no force. His eyes darted up behind you, and he turned his head quickly one more time. He saved you the trouble, and dipped his head down and kissed you hard.

You sighed instantly, fully gripping his shirt and dragging him in closer to you, pushing your body against his as you could feel him move towards you at the same time. You were exploding, you didn’t know what to do with the rest of your body, and could only bring your other hand up to his bicep, where he then palmed your waist. He pulled back after a few seconds.

“Follow me,” His face was flushed, and when he turned around, you were very quick to follow. He maneuvered the two of you through the back room, where people still were congregating, but none of them paid much attention to the two of you. You passed by his other bandmates, and when he turned the corner, he pushed open a door, and ushered you inside. It was a bathroom. “This is the best I can do right now.”

Instead of replying, you simply grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him in. The room was dark, you could tell from under your eyelids as you felt the heat of his face on yours again, and you were at least happy for that, you weren’t too sure you wanted to see the state of the bar’s bathroom at this moment.

His hands found solace again on your waist, thumbs rubbing circles, and fingers teasing along the waistband of your skirt. Leon pressed himself further into you, sandwiching you in between him and the wall, and the stark difference in temperature between the two caused another series of shivers to run up your body.

Leon’s mouth left your lips, now wet and slick with his saliva and yours, and traced them down the length of your jaw, along your neck, nipping at the tender skin, making you sigh and arch your back, increasing the contact of your bodies. Your hands dragged along his sturdy shoulders, reaching around and locking your arms behind his neck, holding him in as he worked your neck, and as his hands started to move. You kept breathily gasping as he bit underneath your jawline, fingertips caressing your jutting hip bone, dipping lower, causing ripples to erupt in your core.

He had positioned his hands now to take purchase on the hem of your skirt, full intentions of pulling it up, when he released his lips from your neck and his face was back in front of yours. 

“Sorry that this is all we have.” His voice was low, and you almost didn't hear it over the static of the bar music softly coming in through the speakers. “We can wait if you want.”

His hand was still positioned on your clothing, and you didn’t let go of him even a little bit. You could only look up, your head already touching the wall behind you. “Where’s the thrill in that?”

Under his shadow, you saw his lips quirk up slightly, he breathed a laugh, and dove back in to kiss you. You threaded your fingers through his hair, slightly tugging, hearing him groan at the sensation. The hand that was ready to hike your skirt up did just that, and his other was gripping your thigh, lifting it higher so he could slide himself right in between. 

He made himself comfortable pressed against you, and you could feel his erection growing through his jeans, giving himself some sort of friction, and you pushed back, earning another groan through your still connected lips. You dropped one of your hands from his hair and traced down his bicep, and into the large hole of his shirt, relishing in every ridge that his ribcage and abdomen had to offer. His skin was so smooth, you knew you would never be able to get enough.

He backed away from the kiss briefly for another moment. “If I never saw you that day you came inside, half naked… in my house looking like that…” He continued to grind himself into you as he spoke, earning noises from the both of you. “Who knows how long I would have to wait?” The hand on your thigh crept upward, leaving a wake of shivers in its path. His palm was flush to your bare skin, reaching the joint of your thigh and hip, and he squeezed the flesh of your hip, digging his thumb into the sweet spot, making you squirm. You clawed at his back, you didn’t even care if it hurt him. You were sure it didn’t.

Leon hovered his mouth over yours, not connecting, but enticing you, and you could only look up at him through a foggy gaze. His hair had now fallen back over his forehead, streaked with sweat, but you hardly minded the way it was touching yours, you wanted him closer. It was impossible how, through the shadow he cast from the light behind him, you could see his blue eyes so clearly, pupils blown, the way he was looking at you made you want to drop dead.

You couldn’t wait any longer, you didn’t even have words to say back to him, you just needed to show him what you thought, how you felt, you just needed him. Your hands came around the front of his body again, not losing contact the entire way, and grasped desperately at his belt, needing to pull out his girth, needing to have his cock in your hands, mouth, in you.

You gasped, trying to form words, but his presence was so dominating, you almost couldn’t. “Leon…” You breathed, and your fingers couldn’t work the clasp fast enough. “Let me…” Finally, it slid open, you pulled the two ends of the belt apart, and made quick work to free his dick from its constraints. Your knees buckled, and you started sliding down the wall.

As you were about to hit the ground, his hands hoisted you back up from under your arms, and you could have whined, the frustration growing, the time only growing in between you getting to have him in your mouth.

“No, I’m sorry,” He grunted as he pulled you up. He put both hands under your thighs, and you gasped as he suddenly picked you up, you wrapped your arms around his neck for balance. “You’re not getting on this floor for me, we’ll save that for another time.”

Another time. Fuck, just those words alone had you melting in his grasp, his strong hands and arms holding you up, walking you around the corner of the bathroom and shutting the two of you in a stall.

“But, you already started this for me, so,” He had you pressed in between himself and the wall once again, one of his arms was still holding you up in the air, legs wrapped around his torso. He tried to separate himself as much as he could to pull his cock out, you reached down in between the two of you to help him, pulling the waistband forward so he could pull them down.

Your breath caught as he pulled it out, a solid, thick length, rock hard, and you were suddenly so mad he wouldn’t let you suck it, because, fuck you would have sucked the life out of him at just the sight of his dick. 

Once he was free, he stroked himself a couple of times, causing himself to moan, and shit, you almost did, too, and he went back to the hem of your skirt, pushing it up over your hips, exposing your small underwear. He eyed them for a moment, humming in acceptance, before sliding them sideways and exposing your aching pussy to the cool air. You, in contrast, were overheating in this bathroom, but now that you were free, it felt so nice, and it felt even better when he ran his fingers along the length, in between your folds, pressing into your clit to watch you squirm again under him.

You sighed loudly, moans slipping out with your breathing as his contact with your heat felt like heaven, your head leaned back and hit the wall, but you didn’t care, you couldn’t feel it, you felt nothing but Leon’s fingers right now.

“Fuck, you’re so wet already,” He was breathing heavily, and you choked out a whimper when he slid one of his fingers in, and it wasn’t stopped with any friction. You also couldn’t believe how wet you were, but then again, you would jump hurdles to be able to suck his dick right here and now, so it must have gotten you worked up. “You feel so good around me.” He mumbled, practically groaned out, sliding in a second finger with ease, the slick sounds becoming louder as he worked you open, and while it felt so good, you just needed him to fuck you already.

“Leon…” You kept whining, unable to say anything else, mind fading, only wrapped around the feeling of him pleasuring you, fingering you, loosening you up for him. “Please, Leon…” You moved your hips, trying to signal to him to pull his fingers out, but he resisted, his hand following the movements of your hips, only going deeper, causing you to squeal when he went as far in as he could.

“Stay still, take it…” Now he pushed himself back against you, finding your lips again and kissing passionately, trapping his fingers inside you, and when you felt them move inside of you, you couldn’t help but squirm against him. His tongue caressed your lips, the inside of your mouth, and your tongue as he was so entwined in kissing you and in fingering you to the edge, his other hand gripping relentlessly at your ass.

After what felt like forever, he backed away, strings of saliva connecting your mouths, his eyes darker than ever, and you, breathing heavily, working to regain composure. He slid his fingers out, a small hiss escaping your lips with the emptiness.

“Fuck,” He sighed, and he looked back down in between you two. He adjusted his grip on your thigh and ass as he used his now free hand to line the tip of his cock up with your entrance, you felt a throb hit the core of your pussy at the mere sight, and you instinctively tightened when he teasingly dragged the tip along your lips, not giving you what he knew you wanted.

You sighed frustratingly, and couldn’t help it but to reach down and wrap your own hand around his dick. The sudden contact made him gasp, but he caught your hand and prevented you from piloting the moment.

“Just relax…” You didn’t need to look up to hear the smile painting his face, and as much as you wanted to protest, you knew he had the upper hand. This time. “You’ll get it, just be patient.” He drew a couple more lines into you, with your hand still trapped under his on his cock, which you could feel it throb every few seconds, and he finally pushed the tip into you.

You whimpered, whole body going slack, and you drew your hand back from his dick to find closure on his shoulder, steadying yourself as he slowly pushed himself all the way in. He had to stop every other second to collect himself as well, jaw tightened, hands gripping bruises into your hips and legs, a long, deep sigh once he was bottomed out.

He brought himself closer to you, relishing in the feeling of you being wrapped around him, unmoving, and he had his face in the crook of your neck, as if to ground himself from the feeling. Your body was shaking slightly, and you could barely breathe with his weight on top of you, but it all felt so good. His skin was slick, sweat coating anywhere that wasn’t exposed to the air, and your hands drawing deep scratches into his shoulder blades.

“Fuck, fuck…” You felt Leon’s lips moving against your throat, and his breath was hot, you could tell he was desperate to move inside of you, but he was still. “You’re so tight, god…” His lips moved up to place gentle kisses along your jawline, and your head rolled to the side to give him more access. He stayed there for a second, teeth grazing your skin, and after a while you were ready for him to start moving.

You picked your head up and turned sideways, forcing him to look directly at you, wasting no time in reconnecting your lips, and, while continuing to kiss you, he slowly slid out, and pushed himself back in.

The both of you were glued to each other as he continued to thrust in and out, your hands gripping impossibly hard on his shoulders, thighs shaking, breaths choppy. His eyes never left your face, he was watching your expressions so closely, you had no control over whatever was happening to you, you could barely breathe, you were so focused on the feeling that Leon was delivering, you simply ceased to acknowledge the setting you both were in.

“God, Leon…” You choked out in between gasps, head hitting the wall over and over, trying to helplessly grind your hips into his when he thrust up, but you had no energy to move against him. He took the initiative, and every time he would plunge into you, he would stay there for a beat longer, and make sure your previously ignored clit was getting the friction it needed, which made you whine even louder.

His breaths were so heavy, spitting out ‘Fuck’, and ‘Oh, shit’, and ‘So good’ every few seconds, letting his train of thought loose as he let himself go, and lost control of the pace.

One of his hands let go of your thigh, and it landed along your chin, forcing your head down to look into his eyes. “How does that feel, hm? So hard to move in you, so tight.” His voice was a broken mess, just breaths, essentially, but it was all you needed to spur you on. 

You simply nodded, knowing the words were nowhere close to coming out right now. Even if you tried, it would be a mess of moans and gasps. You could feel him so deep inside of you, hitting that point to split you open, your pussy was endlessly wet, enough to fuel a whole round or two, and he let you know.

On another thrust, he pushed himself in and sat there for a moment, your moans spilling out without reserve, you both tensed as the unmistakable sound of the creaking door was heard.

Leon took his right hand, free from holding you up, and laced it over your mouth, silencing any sounds of pleasure that you had left in you. 

You were both stiff, eyes wide, and he had his head swung in the direction of the noise. The footsteps approached the counter and turned the sink on. If they were to walk around the corner, they would see Leon’s legs under the door, and could have easily walked in, considering he didn’t shut it all the way, it was just stopped by his body behind it.

He slowly turned his head back to face you, you couldn’t move due to the weight of his hand, and you wanted to writhe under him so bad, feeling his cock throb still deep inside of you while you both were still. Tears were practically forming in your eyes.

He locked eyes with you, and without a sound, mouthed the words Be quiet.

He kept his hand clamped over your mouth, but he slowly adjusted your position so he could slide out of you at a snail’s pace. Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to move, and you used all of your remaining energy to hold yourself together, being overcome by the pleasure while also staying conscious of the person who was still at the bathroom sink. You were glad there was still music playing outside in the bar, and the sink was still running, because if it were dead silent, they definitely would have been able to hear the wet sound of Leon pulling out, and fucking back in. 

He held eye contact with you while he continued to do this, holding you so tightly to make sure nothing made any noise,and a devilish grin broke out onto his face. He was enjoying every second of this. 

He was basically getting off on the idea of pushing you to your limit, forcing you to obey what he asked you to, even if it would benefit the both of you rather than just one. If Leon were shameless enough, he could have told them to fuck off, but instead, he held you here, silenced you, yet drove you to the fucking brink just to watch you fall apart. It made you want to cum right then and there.

After what felt like ten, twenty, thirty minutes (fifteen seconds), the sink shut off, a moment of silence, and the door creaked open again. Leon took his hand off your mouth and you both sighed deeply. While holding you still, Leon leaned back to look through the door to confirm you were alone once again.

“You were barely holding it together, I thought we were going to get caught.” He said on another thrust into you, bringing your faces closer once again. You swallowed hard, instinctively choking back moans now.

“Y-you… you were making it hard…” Gasps, again, as Leon was determined to make everything he asked of you difficult.

He brought himself closer into you, and spoke lowly. “Good,” With swift moves, his free hand was around your throat, holding your head back, and he was relentlessly bouncing you up and down on his cock.

The pressure around your throat and the pressure building in your core at his movements was all overwhelming, your hands were cutting crescents into his bicep from your nails, but he hardly took notice, he was so busy moving the both of you as well as keeping an eye on your face to watch how you were responding to his movements, he was too preoccupied.

The slick sounds coming from your pussy were evidence that the situation was much more of a stimulant than you ever expected, and the sound alone brought you so close to the edge.

“I bet you loved almost getting caught.” He groaned out, his movements stuttering, and you knew he must be close as well. “I bet it was driving you crazy, having to shut up while I gave it to you. You took it so well.” Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head, mouth open, you wouldn’t even be surprised if you were drooling at this point, Leon had all the power now.

“Leon,” You whispered, no energy for your full voice anymore. He understood.

“Take it, baby.” He thrust harder and harder, pressing you flat against the wall, the tip of his cock hitting all the deepest points. “I’m almost there, you feel so good.”

“Fuck, Leon,” If you could grasp any harder against his arms, you just did. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

“You got it, come on, cum for me.” He pressed his forehead into yours, grinding into you on the inward thrusts, making you fall apart in his arms. A few more thrusts, grinding a few more times, and a squeeze to your throat had you gasping in a silent scream around him, panting wildly letting your orgasm loose. 

He fucked you all the way through it. “Shit, that felt so good, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” You watched him as he chased his own, sweat beads dripping down his face, his hair coated in it. His hips stuttered one more time, and as he released his seed into you, he buried his face into your neck, whimpering and biting again. 

He pulled out of you, and it wasn’t missed by either of you the way his cum dripped out of you and onto the floor. You cracked a small smile when you heard him breathe a laugh.

“I’m sure that’s not the first time this bathroom has seen that.” He looked back up at you, breathing heavily, arms shaking from holding you up. You tapped his arms, hoping your legs were strong enough to stand on your own. He lowered you slowly, making sure you were stable before letting you go.

“I hope that’s what you wanted. I might have gotten ahead of myself.” He was still standing in front of you, neither of you made moves to leave the stall. You leaned against the wall for support.

“I would have stopped you a long time ago if it wasn’t, Leon.” He smiled down at you, breaths steadying out. He nodded his head.

“Coming to the house any time soon?”

You laughed out loud this time. “I’m sleeping over this weekend.” 

He smiled wider at the sound of your laugh. He leaned in and kissed you again. “Can’t wait.”

[hoejosatoru]

Worth the Wait

Pairing: Fem!Reader X Togame jo, character all 21+, readers hair color/texture and skin color unspecified

Summary: You never thought much of you're little brother's best friend when you were younger. He was just another annoying kid your brother brought around. But Togame grew into himself in adulthood, totally changing your view of him. Little did you know he has been crushing on you for quite some time.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: smoking, Togame has like some pervy thoughts I guess, face sitting, unprotected sex, cream pie, Choji calls while they're fucking and Togame answers, don't read if aging up characters bothers you. Not proof read. MDNI

Togame could remember the first time he saw you easily. The sight of you laying out in a bikini was quite literally seared into his brain.

He'd been friends with Choji for awhile at that point. They became fast friend after Togame had moved into the neighborhood and started at the same middle school as Choji. They bonded over their mutual disinterest in academics and a shared interest in getting in trouble.

That day was the first time Togame went to Choji's house. It was warm, one of the first days of summer break. Togame was excited to have a whole 2 months of freedom from the drag of classes and homework. He was certain this first summer in Choji's friend group would be one to remember. But first, they needed money for the arcade.

When Togame rounded the corner into Choji's backyard and saw you laying there he stopped dead in his tracks. Choji had mentioned he had a sister, but pretty much only spoke of you being a bitch. Togame really hadn't thought much of what you'd look like. Really, he just imagined Choji with long hair and lipstick, which wasn't a pretty sight. It was safe to say you were nothing like he expected.

His eyes had shamelessly raked up and down your body as you tanned. The skimpy bikini you wore made him damn near weak in the knees. He could tell you were older, probably in high school. Realistically, it was only a few years older than he was, but it made you seem so adult, so out of his league.

"What are you losers doing here?" You had grumbled when you noticed their presence. The look you gave them was disinterested, bordering on rude, but it sealed Togame's fate. He reckons his affinity for mean women was sparked in that moment.

And so for many years he's harbored this crush on you. Of course he had other girlfriends and hook ups, but none could live up to the enigma that you were. His want of you was the only secret he kept from Choji, considering it to be bad bro code to tell your friend how hot you thought their sister was. His secrecy proved to be good judgement.

Every once in awhile, some idiot new recruit would make a comment about how hot you were within Choji's earshot and let's just say they met a very unpleasant ejection from the gang. The worst he saw was the guy who said he'd 'like to have your lips around his dick.' Nobody dared even look at you for a while after that.

That comment was crude, even for Togame's standards. But he would be a hypocrite if he didn't admit he thought things like that. He wasn't particularly proud to admit what he'd done with those thoughts. Many times he had fisted his cock to the thought of you, wishing he could blow his load inside you rather than in his hand.

He'll never forget the time he was over and you walked out of the bathroom in just a towel. Your skin was flushed and glistening from the shower. "Out of my way weirdo," you had snapped, pushing past him. He hadn't cared you called him a weirdo, not one bit. Your skin had brushed against him, all while you were wearing nothing but a towel. The thought of just a single strip of fabric separating your naked body from him is what really did him in. He ended up jerking off in the bathroom, shooting ropes of cum into the toilet. Definitely not his proudest moment, but better than having someone notice he was rock hard.

For you, Togame was not someone you payed much attention to for the longest time. When Choji was a kid he was... a bit much. He often didn't keep friends long and so you never bothered to learn names or even faces. Togame, though, was the first friend Choji had that lasted. But that didn't really change your opinion of him for awhile. He was just another one of your brother's weird friends.

However as you got older, the bickering between you and your brother lessened and you developed a closer relationship. Because Choji and Togame spent so much time together, it naturally led to you becoming more acquainted with him.

On this particular evening you were at a Shisitoren party. Choji tried to keep you from attending his gang's parties for the longest time, but it would be a cold day in hell before you let your little brother tell you what to do. When you slipped out of the packed house to get some air, you found Togame smoking a joint in the backyard.

Togame had changed a lot since you met him. He'd always been on the taller side, but lanky in his youth. In adulthood he had shot up even more, towering over you. But it wasn't just height that grew, it was his whole stature. He'd become so much broader, muscle defining his body. You would have once described his eyes as goofy, too big for his face. Now they sat perfectly with his features, the emerald tone entrancing. It hit you one day that you found your little brother's friend attractive and you didn't really know what to do with that.

"What are you doing out here Togame?" you questioned, pulling his joint out of his hands and taking a hit. If anyone else did that, he'd find it annoying, but from you? He loved it. He couldn't pull his eyes away from your lips as the wrapped around it, his mind immediately going to a very inappropriate place.

"Think you've known me long enough to call me Jo," Togame replied, purposefully brushing his fingers against yours as you passed the joint back to him. He could taste your gloss on it as he took another hit. It was sweet, like candy. He wished he could taste it on your lips.

"Guess you're right about that," you said. Togame held out the joint for you to finish. Instead of taking it, you leaned and allowed him to hold it as you took a hit. "Thanks Jo." You made a point to over emphasize his name as your eyes flicked up to his. Togame grinned, the sound of his name as you smoked his weed making his body buzz.

"You never answered my question by the way."

Togame shrugged. "It was a bit crowded in there. The new recruits are..."

"Lame?" you finished for him. All of them seemed too nervous to talk to you. It made these parties rather boring.

"Ya know if someone talks shit about our guys I'm supposed to kick their ass," Togame replied.

"I'd like to see you try. Choji isn't the only one in the family that can fight," you said.

Togame smirked. "That's kinda hot."

The last few months, your relationship felt shifted with Togame. You weren't sure if it was just because you realized you were attracted to him, and thus you were reading into things more. You noticed he dropped little comments like that, seemingly a joke but certainly could be suggestive. Not that you were innocent of this; you had done your fair share of flirting recently.

"Just kinda? That's disappointing," you replied. "Though I guess that's all I'm gonna get from you Shisitoren guys. My brother's got you all on a leash."

"The guys are scared of Choji," Togame shrugged. "You know how he is."

"Well I'm not scared of him. I'm his older sister, I don't need him trying to control me," you said.

Togame put his hands up innocently. "Hey don't shoot the messenger. I'm just saying that's what the guys are thinking. They fuck you or something and Choji will be on their ass." Togmae couldn't contain his interest. "Is there a guy here you're trying to hook up with?"

It was moments like this you felt that Togame could look right into your head and read your thoughts. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Togame grinned. "Oh I would." He was silent for a beat, considering his next move. Maybe it was the weed lowering his inhibitions, or the way you've been more flirtatious, or just his patience wearing thin after all these years, but he was feeling bold. He took a step closer yo you, his scent filling your lungs. You had to tilt your head up to look at him. "But you may like to know that I'm not scared of Choji."

Oh?

"Hmm, I think I'm gonna need you to prove that to me, Jo," you challenged.

Togame's eyes twinkled with desire. He had a good feeling you were gonna take him up on the offer, but hearing you confirm it made him almost giddy. "We could leave now and no one would notice." Togame gesturing to the party going on inside. "You have your own place now, right?"

And the next thing you knew, Togame was on top of you in your bed. He kissed you deeply, his mouth confident and languid against yours. You had a sneaking suspicious Togame would be a good kisser and you were absolutely right. You slid your fingers into his dark hair, gripping it to pull him closer.

"Fuck," Togame pulled away, slightly breathless. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." His eyes slid over your body, licking his lips at the thought of stripping your clothes off you.

"Don't tell me you've had a crush on me Togame," you teased. You nipped at his neck, grinding your body up against his.

"Guilty," Togame replied, slipping his hands under your shirt. "I'll never forget the first time I saw you. You were in this tiny little bikini. Been dreaming bout what your tits look like ever since."

You laughed, vaguely remembering the day he was talking about. "But I was such a bitch to you."

Togame squeezed your tits over your bra. "That's why I liked you." He yanked your top off and made quick work of your bra. "Even better than I imagined," he grinned. He licked up the valley between your breast as he massaged them with his hands. His lips found your right nipple, sucking on it to the point of sensitivity while he rolled your left nippled between his fingers. You let out soft moans, rubbing against him for friction. He could feel himself getting harder by the minute, but he was not rushing this after all this time. He kissed is way over to the other breast, repeating the process.

When he finally pulled away, he couldn't help but smile as he admired his work. Your tits were red and swollen from his sucking, glistening with his salvia. He wished he could take a picture.

"You look hot like this," he mused. You took the opportunity of him being distracted to flip him over so you were on top of him straddling his lad. Togame looked up at you with surprise and desire.

"Bet I look even hotter like this," you replied, slipping your hands his shirt and pulling it off. Togame couldn't argue with that. He went to grab your tits, but you slapped his hand away. "No touching till I say so."

Togame let out a groan as you pinned his hands over his head and kissed him. It was maddening, feeling your lips and tongue tangle with his all while you rocked your core against his hardened cock. He wanted to touch you so bad, but not being able to mad it hotter some how. He'd never been with a woman who took charge at all and he loving every second. You both knew he could over power you if he really wanted, but he didn't. He enjoyed feeling at your mercy.

"What do you wanna do to me, Jo?" You asked against his neck. You licked and sucked at his skin.

"Wanna taste you so fucking bad," he replied, his hips grinding up against your. His cock was staring against his boxers and pants, desperate for release, but there was no way he was passing up an opportunity to bury his face in your cunt.

"Mmm want me to sit on your face, huh?"

"Please." There was an edge of desperation to his voice that drove you wild. You released his arms, allowing him to help you out of the rest of your clothes. He licked his lips as you crawled up his body, positioning yourself over him. Togame gripped your hips and pulled you down on to him. He moaned into your cunt as he licked up your slit.

Togame took his time, exploring your cunt with lush, languid strokes of his tongue. He swirled around your clit, sucking it lightly, before teasing your hole. He pressed his tongue deeper inside you, pulling a sensual gasp from your lips.

"Fuck Jo." You rocked your hips against his face, chasing the high that was building up in your body. His nose brushed against your throbbing clit, heightening your pleasure. Togame fucked his tongue into faster, desperate to feel you cum on his face.

His wish was granted with just a few more flicks of his tongue. You cried out his name, the sweetest sound he ever heard, as your body pulsed with pleasure. Your release coated his lips and and tongue and he drank it all in.

"Fuck you're so sweet," Togame panted when you finally slid off of him. He was shamelessly licking his lips clean. He climbed on top of you, an eager glint in his eyes. "If I have to wait any longer to be inside you my dicks gonna explode."

You snorted and rolled your eyes. "How charming."

Togame stripped off his pants and you shamelessly stared at the size of him. Not only was he long, but deliciously thick. Your thighs rubbed together in anticipation.

Togame couldn't contain the deep groan as he slid inside you. He's fantasized about this moment countless times. He's dreamed of how it would feel to have your cunt wrapped around him, sucking him into your wet warmth. Not one of his fantasies compared to the real feel of you.

"Fuck angel you feel amazing." He slowly rolled his hips, savoring every inch of you squeezing him. He couldn't go any faster, not just because he didn't wanna rush this moment, but because he didn't trust himself not to bust too quickly. You were happy to let him take his time as you adjusted to stretch of him deep inside you.

Suddenly, Togame's phone buzzed on where he left it on your nightstand. "Shit it's Choji," he grumbled.

"Are you seriously answering that right now?" you questioned.

"I gotta, he'll be suspicious if I don't." You were about to protest, but Togame already clicked the little green accept call button. "What's up Choji?" he said casually. You could only hear one side of the conversation, but you got the gist of it.

"Your sister?" Togame replied. His eyes dropped down to where he was buried deep inside. "No, sorry I don't know where she is." He winked at you, smiling wickedly. You rolled your eyes, not a Togame, but at your brother for questioning your whereabouts.

"Oh, I'm sure she's doing just fine," Togame smirked at you. "Probably just got bored and went home... yeah I went home too, recruits were boring the shit out of me... sure, if I hear anything about it I'll call you." Togame hung up and tossed his phone aside. "You might wanna text your brother, he's annoyed he can't find you."

Your grumbled, reaching for your phone. The last thing you wanted to do was text your brother while a man - his best friend no less - was literally inside you. But you didn't trust him to not show up unannounced. Unsurprisingly you had a few missed texts from him.

Relax dude I just got tired and left

And I don’t need you calling Togame to hunt me down

"Alright now you better fuck me good enough that I forget you literally answered a call from my brother mid sex," you snapped at him. You wrapped your legs around his hips and pressed him deeper into you. The pressure caused him to lean lower over you, his face just inches from yours.

"My pleasure." Togame was so deep in you as fucked into you. You nipped at his neck and shoulders, stifled your moans against his warm skin. "God, you feel so fucking good," he babbled, "Never had pussy like this."

Your cunt fluttered at his words, only egging him on more. You could feel him throbbing inside you as you dragged your nails down his back. Togame gritted his teeth, loving how the pain of it missed with pleasure. It didn't take much more of his fat tip brushing your sweet spot to pull another orgasm from you.

"Jo -ngh." Your whole body shook with bliss. You clamped down on Togame impossibly harder, pulling a string of curses from him.

"Fuck, can I cum in you?" Togame groaned. He was so grateful that you nodded eagerly because honestly he wasn't sure if he would have been able to stop himself. With a low grunt his hips stuttered and spilled inside you. You rolled your hips up to meet his, savoring the full, warm feeling. Togame held thought he died and went to heaven.

"My middle school self would be so proud of me right now," Togame said when he finally rolled off you. "So worth the wait."

"You're still kinda weird," you replied, "but that was good enough that I'll let it slide."

Togame grinned. "That's all just part of my charm." You rolled your eyes and reached to check your phone. 5 missed texts from Choji.

Okay good. Don't leave without telling me next time

Wait... how did you know I called Togame?

Are you with Togame?

Y/n fucking answer me

I'm going to fucking kill him

Shit.

"Uh, I may have gotten you in trouble," you said. You flipped your phone over for Togame to read. You expected him to get angry or freak out, but he only shrugged.

"Like I said, I'm not scared of him." Togame yawned, truly unbothered. "Besides, you were so worth as beating."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

So, recently found someone tried pressing charges on me for this. However, cops laughed at him for it.

Am I the AH because I reported my manager?

I(F24-27) met this manager(M 27-30) when I worked at my last job. This manager was being lovely and started dating a newly high-school graduate. His girlfriend got fired for stealing not just merchandise, but money from the register. She was promptly fired and he claimed they broke up for it, but got back together. The summer after she was fired, an employee's dumb ass fell for a phone scam and the store lost thousands of dollars. She was fired too, but it was under his authority that she did the phone scam since he was "too busy" to do it. It was apparently some register program maintenance? Yeah, a manager is suppose to do that, but he didn't. My manager went on vacation for the entire month of his birthday, during that time I sent him a happy birthday and told him he was missed and we awaited his return. Months later at the end of the year, his girlfriend saw the messages, and when I arrived at work he basically threatened my job and called me some colorful things. I cried then and there and he refused to apologize to me cause he was so happily taken and blah blah.

So here's what happened. Because he refused to apologize to me, I cried the entire day. We had recently gotten a new store manager, and he was concerned and asked me what was wrong. I told him what happened and even showed him the messages I sent my manager from months back. He said he didn't see anything wrong with them, that even he himself would have sent similar messages if someone was gone for that long. So, he wrote him up for it. So, apparently I was the bad person for that? I mean, he said some messed up things to me. Keep in mind, this was the week before the new year. Ok, after the new year started, there was a lot of investigations going on, thanks to our previous store manager since someone blew the whistle on her and found out she did a lot of sketchy things. My manager was being investigated for this too, for dating someone who got fired for stealing and the phone scam thing (I think it's because the store lost more than 10,000, I seriously wish I was joking). So, apparently me reporting him for what he did to me was wrong by his logic. So, months went by of the several investigations, even some auditing company got involved (I know scary!), and by May, this manager went on a couple of week vacation. He had posted online him playing a drinking game and another employee who he worked under and was a minor too, was present in what he recorded and posted online. Now, my beef is he had admitted to me he provided alcohol for his gf when she was a minor and her friends, then I see that crap. I ended up reporting it and I guess I cost him his job? He literally went to another company after it happened. I know I'm not the moral police and other people aren't my responsibility, but I just didn't feel right seeing that. He was 29, what is he doing hanging out when 17-20 year olds? The only legal adult was his gf, these were her buddies she made when she was in high school. I'm not sure where the 17 year old came from tbh? I just know she was working at our store and was 17 at the time, but that's besides the point.

So, I found out recently a little before covid started when he contacted me he was trying to get evidence to press charges on me. I mean, it didn't happen and I'm still confused how I could have had charges pressed on me. When he contacted me I called him a POS, groomer, and other colorful things. Sorry, everything I knew about him and what he did to me made me feel bitter against him. I don't know if what I did may have broke laws? But who cares, this isn't what this is about. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[caffeinemachine]

Life Jacket - Chapter 1

Conrad Fisher x Eldest Conklin Sibling Reader

I just wrote this so quickly cause it was sitting in my head and it had to get out. Go read this post for an idea of what this series will be! I'm very excited about it!

Here's Part One!!!

Word Count; 1.2K

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cousins. Lots of mixed emotions came with going to Cousins. I loved it I really did, but I wasn’t blessed with the privilege of experiencing the blissful, worry-free love like my sister. Things still followed me to Cousins, responsibilities. And I always was stuck wishing they didn’t.

My siblings got to go swimming whenever they wanted, I had to swim once a day to “keep up with it” in my parents' words, mainly my Dad. I know they don't mean it. That in their hearts they do it out of love. Cause I do love swimming, I really do, but sometimes I wish reality could go on pause so I could live freely for a little while. With no concerns, or right way or wrong way, just me doing as I please. Without my Dad here the past two summers it helped. He’s harder on me than Mom. I grew up to realize it was just cause he didn’t really know how to be a parent. Does anyone really?  But his way of showing me love as a parent was by promising my success and ensuring my future. Well, I got recruited to Harvard's swim program with a scholarship so I guess his way of love kind of worked.

Despite everything, Cousins meant I got to see them. Susannah, Jeremiah, and him. Conrad. He was what stirred my emotions about Cousins the most. I’d had a crush on him for as long as I could remember. But I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t jeopardize our families like that.  I didn’t have time for boys. I had tried to date here and there, but everyone got bored, or mad that I “didn’t have enough time for them”. I couldn’t even get upset because they were right. I didn’t have time for them like normal high school girls did. I couldn’t hang out after school, I had swim practice and very few high school boys wanted to hang out just to do homework together once I got home if you know what I mean. I couldn't afford to be distracted, so I let them all go. I couldn’t do that to Conrad, put him in that situation. I also think I couldn’t do it to myself. The other boys didn’t matter, but him? Losing him would crush me so hard that I don’t think I would recover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I drove to Cousins with Steven in my car.  I had saved up all summer and bought my trusty Volkswagen Passat last Fall. That was another pro about Cousins, the money. I've worked as a lifeguard at the club since I was 15, and I also did swim lessons there as well as private lessons. Those people will pay real well to have an all-star swimmer teach their three-year-old how to float I’ll tell ya.

“So you excited to work this summer?” I asked Steven. He got a job at the pool snack stand at the club and I had helped Jeremiah get a position as a lifeguard.

“Yeah, I guess, I’m excited to make big bucks like you have been all these summers.” He smiled at me making me instantly light up. Steven just had a natural energy to him that brightened people's moods. 

We jammed out to music for the rest of the drive and before I knew it we were pulling in the driveway. I noticed my mom's car wasn’t here yet. Knowing her and Belly, they probably stopped for snacks. Man, this house. I dreamed about this house. It was absolutely beautiful. I honked, our signal to them we had arrived. 

Jeremiah was the first one to run out to see us, but Susannah was not far behind. Conrad was nowhere to be seen, odd. I didn't have time to think about it though as Jere scooped me up in a big hug and spun me around. I noticed then how much he had grown since last summer. He probably started working out and he definitely grew a couple of inches. As we said hello he had a huge smile on his face, he usually did Jere was always a golden retriever in human form. 

Then Susannah came up to me. when Susannah hugged me it was like life went on pause, the way I always wanted it to. In her arms I was safe, in her arms I was still just her baby, the first born girl. 

“ Wow Y/N look at you, my precious girl, you've bloomed," Susannah said to me as she held the sides of my face. I never doubted a word Susannah said, the way she said things made me believe them. Susannah never said it and neither did I, but we were each other's favorites. She always spoiled me, she always was my number one fan. Susannah had a level of enthusiasm to her that most people didn't have. It probably wasn't fair for me to call her my favorite. She got to love me like a mother and spoil me like the fun aunt, and she never had to give me any of the negatives. So yes it probably wasn't fair for her to be my favorite, which is why I only ever told her private.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all walked back inside, Susannah and Jere helping Steven and me carry in our bags. Still no Conrad. I dropped my bags on the floor as I scanned my eyes around my room. Nothing out of place, everything was as I left it. I really do love this room. It was bigger than my one back home, it even had a small walk-in closet.  Conrad and I had the biggest rooms, we were the oldest so we got the first pick of rooms. 

I'm mindlessly unpacked for a while before hearing the same signal I had done myself just a bit earlier, Mom and Belly were here. I didn't rush down after all, I had seen them just a few hours ago. I thought it was okay to let them have their own proper reunion with the Fishers. So I finished putting the rest of my clothes in my drawers before I went downstairs. However, when I open my bedroom door, I open it to find Conrad with his hand in mid-air as if he were about to knock. 

“Whoa- oh, hi,” I said somewhat skeptically, he had just appeared out of nowhere, where had he been when I would got here? He cleared his throat, shuffling his feet somewhat awkwardly as he put his arm down from its spot in the air and clasped his hands behind his back.

“Hey, um I was uh coming to say hello!  I was down at the beach surfing all morning, I didn't even realize you were here until your mom pulled up and you weren't with her.” He seemed nervous for some reason, I wasn't sure why.

“Don't worry about it, was the surf any good?” 

He smiled at me then, “ Yeah it was so good, I lost track of time.” I smile back at him, I had missed him. 

“Glad to know you missed my entrance for something worthwhile.” He laughed, me along with him before his face went back to being relaxed. He stared at me in silence for a few moments before suddenly, before I could even realize what was happening, Conrad had his arms around me. Conrad was hugging me. It was nice, but odd. Conrad wasn't the most affectionate person and this was very out of the blue.

“I'm happy you're here Y/N.” He whispered, slightly muffled by my hair. We backed away as I said,

“Me too.”  The silence stretched a moment too long for my level of comfort. He was too intoxicating, his gaze on me was all consuming, I had to get out of there. “I'm going to go say hi to my mom and my sister.” I rushed out, going past him down the stairs before he even replied.

This summer was already off to an interesting start.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Back to school shopping

"A-Yuan's teacher sent us the list of back to school supplies he'll be needing this year." Wei Wuxian tells his husband as he checks his e-mail over coffee. He lounges over the garden sofa, soft cushion over a large, mahogany structure, feet stretched over Lan Wangji's lap.

The morning is chilly enough to remind that autumn has come, but the sun shines from between the trees' foliage enough to counter it, the air carrying just the tiniest bit of the nostalgic feel of summer. Birds sing their trill from the high branches, though migratory flocks are already dotting the light blue horizon.

There is a blanket laid over Wei Wuxian's shoulders, patterned with bunnies and carrots, and he's wrapped himself up into it as he fiddles with his phone, sharing bits of information with Lan Wangji. The air smells of coffee and the fading smell of autumn flowers.

"35 points... who would've thought first graders need so much stuff!"

Lan Wangji gently massages his husband's calves, delighting into the feel of his soft skin underneath his fingertips. "We could place an order and have other people deal with it, if you wish."

Wei Wuxian smiles, a melancholic little curl of his lips that seems both sad and hopeful at the same time. His gaze moves to the little patch of grass where A-Yuan's left some of his toys yesterday.

"When I was little, I never really went back to school shopping. Madam Yu said it was wasteful to spend money on me too, and I'd just use leftovers from Jiang Cheng or Yanli." He tries to laugh. "I got made fun for having a Barbie backpack when I was in third grade, but it was a really sturdy thing, lasted me years!"

Lan Wangji moves closer, enveloping Wei Wuxian in his arms. He welcomes the touch, and burrows into the newfound warmth.

"Uncle Jiang took me, once. He said I deserved some new things too, even if I could use the hand-me-downs just fine... He got me this pencil case that had dinosaurs on it, a matching backpack and a few trinkets..." Wei Wuxian sighs, bringing his blanket tighter to his body. "Madam Yu threw a fit about it, and had everything returned the next day... Uncle Jiang apologized to me, but told me there was nothing he could do..."

Lan Wangji caresses his husband's hair gently. "He was an adult, Wei Ying. There was plenty he could do."

Wei Wuxian hums noncommitally. "I don't know... but anyway, that day I promised myself that, if I ever had children, I'd buy them everything and anything for school, every year, until they graduated... so that they could have everything I couldn't."

Lan Wangji kisses the top of Wei Wuxian's forehead. "Then we can go shopping. All of us."

Wei Wuxian lets out a happy sound, and nuzzles further into his beloved's arms.

The door cracks open, a sleepy A-Yuan emerging from his room with his favorite stuffed animal still under his arm.

"Good morning..." he mumbles, still thick with sleep, eyes halfway open and a yawn escaping him.

Wei Wuxian laughs and scoops him up onto the sofa, wrapping him in his arms and the blanket. "You're up so early! What for?"

"Missed baba and a-die..." and he relaxes into his parents' hold, nodding off again.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian share a look, soft and loving, and as Wei Wuxian maneuvers the little one in his arms into a more comfortable position, Lan Wangji hums a song to lull him to sleep, the notes ever so shaky with his emotions.

[bluelocksource]

Kiyora Jin’s trivia

☆ Character color: Peacock blue.

☆ Birthday: 31st August.

☆ Current age: 17 (2nd year high schooler).

☆ Zodiac: Virgo.

☆ Birthplace: Fukuoka Prefecture.

☆ Family structure: Father, mother, older brother, himself, younger brother.

☆ Current height: 165 cm.

☆ Foot size: 26 cm.

☆ Dominant foot: Right foot.

☆ Blood type: A.

☆ Visual acuity: 1.2

☆ Grip strength: 55kg.

☆ Nickname: "Dance Battle Footballer"

☆ Motto: "Sharpen your blade, prepare for battle."

☆ Starts playing football: At age 2. “Before I knew it, I was playing soccer with my big brother.”

☆ Team before joining BLUE LOCK: Murasame High School Soccer Club.

村雨 (Murasame) means "village rain".

☆ Hobby: Breakdancing. "Come breakdancing with me".

☆ Favorite food: Candied grapes (budō ame). "I got addicted to its crunchy texture and juiciness."

☆ Food he dislike: Mizuna (Japanese mustard greens). “Isn't that just a leaf?”

☆ What goes best with rice: One stick of mentaiko. "Beware of overeating!"

☆ Favorite animal: Peacocks. "The difference between the moment they closes and opens their feathers are amazing."

☆ Favorite season: Summer. “It ignites my fighting spirit.”

☆ Favorite football player: Yuki Soma.

☆ Favorite song: "NIGHT DANCER" by imase.

☆ Favorite manga: Vagabond.

☆ Favorite movie: Fight Club. "Passionate film directing. Clever composition."

☆ Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: Mushroom. "I feel like bamboo shoots always win, so I’ll side with mushrooms."

☆ What makes him happy: Provocation "The thought of me crushing someone gets me excited."

☆ What makes him upset: Atrophy. "This is what makes me lose strength. Don't freak out, you pigs."

☆ What he thinks his strength is: Extremely competitive.

☆ What he thinks his weakness is: Tends to think everything is a fight. "Sorry, I can't change that"

☆ What made him cry recently: “I hit my head during breakdancing practice. I got 3 stitches.”

☆ Favorite/best subject: P.E. "I like competitive sports. You can really engage!"

☆ Weak/least favorite subject: Overall studying. "I aim for the borderline of failing grades."

☆ Ideal type: Someone who likes sports. Good at making up after fights.

☆ Number of chocolates received from previous Valentine: 7.

☆ At what age he experiences first love: 10 years old.

☆ The first time he got confessed to: “In the second year of middle school, I was confessed to by both of my twin classmates. I got confused about who was who, so I turned both of them down.”

☆ Fixation: Sweats. "I like people who are sweating."

☆ Average sleeping time: 8 hours (6.5 hours + 1.5 hours nap)

☆ How he spend his holiday: “I participate in dance battle events. Of course, I aim to win.”

☆ When taking a bath, which part he washes first: "My bottom. I loosen up while washing."

☆ What he usually buy from the convenience store: Red Bull. "I feel energized after drinking it."

☆ What will he do if he received 100 million yen: "I would return it. I want to earn it with my own hands. Money earned with blood and sweat is not just paper."

☆ At what age he stops receiving presents from Santa: 11 years old.

☆ What was his last wish from Santa: Weight training equipment. "To win fights against my older brother and younger brother."

☆ What will he do during his last day on Earth: Dance and play soccer. "I’d probably do it while crying, thinking it might be the last time."

☆ Favorite historical figure: Sasaki Kojirō.

☆ If he hadn’t encountered soccer, what will he be doing: “Breakdancing. I’d probably have won a gold medal”

☆ If he could only take one thing to a deserted island, what would it be: A sleeping bag. “I can't stand being cold.”

☆ If he had a time machine, would he go to the past or the future: The future. “I have no interest in the past. Living for the future is what it means to be human.”

note: i want to apologize in advance for any mistake made in the translation!

source: twt & vol. 26 & Egoist Bible 2.

Last updated: 28/10/2024

[frozen-heart]

Sooo... Episode 6 is out...

For me this episode is the weakest we've had so far. And I need to rant a bit...

I don't even know where to start. Of course not everything was bad about this episode, like the pride party. I really loved that part.

But there are some icks...

Maybe I set my expectations too high, because I've seen a few posts about how there's a shocking twist, ect. But the hype really ended up going nowhere for me..

First of all, Noa and Jen..

So.. I wish they would just show us why Noa us so attached to Jen. Because all we see is Jen causing trouble for Noa and it sucks. And Noa saying that Jen and her are 'more alike' than her and Shawn felt like a bullshit excuse. And if she really feels that way, why not break off with Shawn right away? Instead she uses him, his money and then cheats on him. I could look past the cheating in Juvie, because Noa didn't know that Shawn would wait for her and that she was scearching for comfort in Jen. But this? This is just bullshit.

Even worse, Jen stole the money from Shawn's mother to give back to him?! Like what the fuck? And Noa is actually still considering a relationship with her after she got accused of stealing the money?

I also don't get how Jen told Noa she doesn't need more on her plate and when she's confronted with her STEALING from Shawn's mother, she turns around again and puts pressure on Noa to make a decision?! Excuse me?

This is just peak self sabotage. She is considering leaving Shawn, who she has a really stable and healthy relationship with for someone who steals and causes her trouble. Are the writers even trying to make us like Jen?

And I expected Noa to get some backlash from the liars. Especially Faran. She always has strong opinions and isn't afraid to voice them, but she doesn't say anything against Noa cheating? This would've been the perfect opportunity to create some tension between the Liars. Not only did Noa lie to them about Jen, she's cheating on Shawn and playing with both of them, which could taint the picture of Noa the other Liars have of her.

Side note: Where is the scene of Jen and Noa that we saw in the promo pictures?

Also, I really hated how easily they just cut Jen off of their list for Bloody Rose.

Next one, I saw some people say that they want Kelly to die a horrible death now. But I still don't want her to die.

What she did was horrible and hurtful to Imogen, but I don't think Kelly really had another choice. Her mom is abusive and she had to obey her and therefore the church to avoid further trauma and abuse. She has no other choice but to adapt to the view of the church to survive. And I think that's really sad.

I want her to get the chance to work through her trauma and redeem herself to the Liars, especially Imogen.

I hope they don't kill her off, because I feel like there could be a lot of ways to further explore her character, because she's so complex.

Side note: I can't take it when my two favorite girlies are fighting T_T Great acting from both of them!

And it seems like we're really pushing Faran x Greg now.. And I'm not sure how to feel about it.

I really like the actors and they do have good chemistry, but I don't really know if I can like this ship..

I mean we could have Faran x Kelly. They're literally right there and would be better representation than Jen x Noa..

And now to the 'big reveal'.

First of all, Imogen's 'test' didn't feel like a test. (I'm also not convinced that Noa actually finished her test last episode.)

It was really lacking, but at least she had her moment last season..

I thought something was up from Davie, as I stated in the first post I made about Summer School. Imogen kept confusing Bloody Roae and her mother throughout the season, but the reveal still didn't really work for me.

We didn't even see her face. And we saw in the trailer that Imogen will accuse Dr Sullivan of being Bloody Rose in episode 7 or 8. We also saw Dr Sullivan saying she's putting on her face, as in becoming Bloody Rose, which will probably be another dream of Imogen.

Imogen has been hallucinating this season so I'm also not sure that we can trust her judgment on this. I hope they don't do the secret twin thing with Davie. That would just be boring, because we got that last season. I assume it was probably a mask to mess with her.

I just don't buy Davie or her secret twin being Bloody Rose and it would be one of the more boring plot twists, if they go through with it. I have read other theories that seem more exciting than this..

Where did Bloody Rose go anyway? And why didn't she kill Imogen? She clearly had the chance to. Wouldn't she want to kill Imogen to keep her identity hidden?

I'm sorry for rambling so much. But I needed to get this off of my chest.

[spookymystery67]

I Wish I Could Walk In Heels

AN: Yes. That's the title lol. I caved and made an Ada story! Only problem is it will be long, slow burn and will take a few chapters before Ada is even introduced. Sorry about that. Also, I've never written a love story before, so we'll see how it goes. This story will take place mostly in the resident evil games and is mostly written for female readers as I don't know how to write for others. I am cross posting on ao3 with the username RaineyDaysInRaccoonCity. NO MINORS! MATURE PEOPLE ONLY. I'm not writing smut (maybe) but still, 18+. I will put trigger warnings for the story. Enjoy!

TW: Violence, blood/gore, implied/reference sexual assault, murder/death, zombies, mentioned human experimentation, ect. It's a Resident evil fic, I would hope you would know what you're getting into.

Chapter 1:

Zombies.

Never, in all your 20 years of life so far, did you ever think that zombies could actually become a thing. Yet, here you were, dealing with said zombies.

September 28, 1998 is when shit really hit the fan in Raccoon City. Before that, there were sporadic attacks and strange happenings all over the city the last few weeks. People seemingly having random psychotic breaks and brutally attacking strangers, friends, and family members. They would tear into them with their teeth and kill them in the process. The news covered it, though they never truly went into depth about what was the cause of these "psychotic breaks".

Of course, you knew exactly how this all started. Let's start from the beginning of your part in this chaos.

—

It was the summer of 1998. You had graduated high school two years prior in 1996. You were not really sure of exactly what career you wanted to pursue, unlike your peers, who all seemed to have a plan on what to do for the rest of their lives. You just knew that you wanted to do something involving writing.

Writing wasn't exactly your life long passion. More of a current interest you had taken up in high school. You have had many hobbies throughout your life, nothing ever quite taking your mind hostage like reading did. Reading was always something you enjoyed, and when you were six, you had expressed to your parents about wanting to be a professional reader. But, according to them, that wouldn't pay the bills. They had wanted you to become something more. Like a doctor or lawyer. Something you have never had any interest in.

Writing only became an interest when you realized you needed a plan besides "professional reader". It was the closest you could get to reading without becoming a librarian and disappointing your parents too much. Granted, they weren't very happy with that career choice either. But you had given up wanting their approval for everything and flew the nest right after graduation.

Now, you still need to make money for your apartment, and for life in general. You desperately wanted to move on from your dead-end job at a fast food place that you had been working at for two years now. It was sucking the life, and the minimal joy you had left, away from you. College? Not an option. Nor were you interested in the lifelong debt attached to it. 

Running low on options, you had decided to apply to be a journalist's assistant. No one that you had applied for was really interested in having you, a relatively fresh high school graduate with minimal to no experience in any field involving the career, work for them. All except for one person.

Ben Bertolucci.

Ben was a freelance investigative journalist. He's a caucasian man who wore glasses and a ponytail, along with a goatee on his face. He had come to Raccoon city after hearing about the strange murders in Arklay County. He believed that there was something deeper going on, that there was something at work that was preventing the police from investigating further into these cases. Though after weeks of dead ends, he felt he needed a fresh pair of eyes to assist him on this.

Ben had seen the potential in you. Or so he had told you. He saw a drive in you that you hadn't even noticed in yourself. A need to do what was right by the civilians of Raccoon City and do whatever it took in the process to get there. Even if you'd put yourself in danger.

"That is exactly what I need for this project. Someone who wants to seek out injustice and expose it for what it really is. To show the civilians what's really happening behind all the red tape." Ben had said. You couldn't help but agree to the job. You had felt that something wasn't right in Raccoon City. And you really wanted to get to the bottom of it. 

That all started with Umbrella.

You had both spent your time bribing and blackmailing Umbrella employees to get your information. This helped you learn that Chief Brian Irons had been accepting bribes to work for Umbrella and help cover up whatever shady shit they had going on. One informant had also briefly mentioned the orphanage being connected with Umbrella. They had never mentioned exactly how, too afraid to reveal that information. 

That had filled you with dread. What could be so bad that they were afraid to say? You theorized that maybe those adoptions weren't actually adoptions. What they could have been doing to those kids, you didn't know. Now your curiosity had peaked, and you desperately needed answers.

All these bits and pieces of the puzzle were connecting, but nothing was giving you the bigger picture. Umbrella, Irons, orphanage, strange attacks and murders. All connected, but how and why exactly wasn't known. You needed more than just bits. You needed everything. 

So you both came up with a plan, Ben would investigate more on Irons, and you, Umbrella. An Umbrella employee had agreed to help get you in. He seemed to be out for a bigger profit than he gets working for Umbrella and wanted out. He didn't tell you exactly how he would be getting the bigger profit, and you weren't sure he was reliable, but you would cross that bridge when you came to it.

You're probably wondering, why did Ben get the "easier" end of investigation? Shouldn't he be attempting to infiltrate Umbrella, what with him having more experience?  Well, for one, Ben had already made a name for himself in Umbrella. His failed interview with Annette Birkin had put him on a list. 

Adding on to that, you both learned that not only was Irons sketchy with work and who he dealt with, he was also a major creep. Some women had expressed how he would make nasty, sexual, innuendos towards them and borderline harass them. He would get away with it all, of course. He was the Chief of police after all. A "hero" to the people of Raccoon City. He would never do such a thing.

Now, this was all from word of mouth. No physical evidence to prove it. But one person who had also, unfortunately, encountered Irons was Katherine Warren, daughter of the Mayor of Raccoon city. Her word you trusted, as she was your best friend, and now,  a secret lover of Ben's. 

-September 20th, 1998-

"Trust me, he is a disgusting man. Always looking at me with a hunger in his eyes that makes me nauseous. I can't tell if he wants to sleep with me or murder me." Katherine grimaced as she popped a fry in her mouth. Her pretty blonde hair was in a casual updo and her blue sweater was wrapped snugly against her pale skin, pulled up slightly at the sleeves to avoid ketchup stains.

The three of you were at a corner booth in a quiet and secure diner for lunch. A quaint little place you three liked to hang out at to hide away from the world. Katherine was sitting in the booth across from you and to the left of Ben, who had a protective arm around her shoulders and a sour look on his face.

You cringed from the way she described the man. "Why do you talk to him? He sounds awful." You asked as you reached for a french fry from her plate. 

"The only reason I interact with him is because of my father. He brings me to these charity parties and Irons is always there. I have to play nice." She smacked your grabby hand away from her plate. You playfully pouted and took a bite of your garden salad that you now regret getting after looking at those fries. Kathrine eventually took pity on you and allowed you to take a few fries from her plate as Ben chuckled at the scene, briefly forgetting the topic at hand.

"Bottom line, it's best you stay away, Y/n. You're a young, attractive woman and you are bound to make it on to Irons radar rather than around it. Ben might have better luck sneaking around for whatever you two are looking for. I really don't want you getting his attention." Kathrine finished.

She didn't have an in-depth idea of what you two were doing. She just knew it was big, and potentially dangerous, if things were to go south. But she was happy to help however she could for her best friend and boyfriend.

Ben and you shared a solemn glance, agreeing with that statement. You'd only attract attention. He'd be better with dealing with Irons in this scenario. He would have to be careful, what with Umbrella having put him on the watch list.

"Alright, looks like I might get the harder job huh?" You weakly joked to the two.

"I'm not worried. I have faith in you, Y/n." Ben grinned.

"That makes one of us." This was a lot. You weren't sure if you would be able to make it into Umbrella's secret lab and get data without getting caught. There was a lot at stake here, and you couldn't let anyone down.

"Two of us. I believe in you too." Kathrine added, reaching forward to grab your hand over the table in comfort. She's sweet. Sometimes too sweet. Makes you think that she doesn't deserve this corrupted world around her. 

"You've got this. Come on, Y/n. You've helped me get so far on this case in the last few months than I ever would have on my own. I chose you to help me because I saw your potential. And you have yet to disappoint me. If anyone can do this, it's you." Ben said seriously. He stared you right in the eye, wanting you to know that he meant every word of what he said. 

Ben knew you suffered from serious self doubt and that you always thought you did everything wrong. He thought that it might have come from your childhood. When he became not only your employer, but your friend as well, he had set out to make you get rid of that habit. He and Katherine combined had been making some progress in that.

You sighed, "Alright. I can do this." Still not convinced.

"Okay, progress. Now I want you to repeat that back to me again, but this time make it more believable. You need to believe in yourself." He said, gesturing at you to repeat yourself.

"Really? You're giving me a therapy lesson right now?" 

"Yes. When's a better time? It's now or never. Now, go on."

You looked at Katherine in disbelief, but she just nodded as she bit her lip, trying not to laugh. You looked back at Ben, who just raised a brow.

"I can do this." You muttered quietly but firmly.

"Louder."

"I can do this." You said louder. Not loud enough to attract other attention, but enough to satisfy both Ben and Katherine.

"That's what I like to hear." Ben grinned dorkily. You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his face, Katherine joining with a bright smile on her face.

Little did you three know, this would be the last time you would all sit in this diner together. 

-September 22nd, 1998-

Infiltrating Umbrella really shouldn't have been easy. It really shouldn't have. But all you needed was a guest pass. Which is interesting considering this place was supposed to be secret. What kind of guests are coming to a secret lab?

You were dressed in black dress pants, a short sleeved white shirt, a dark navy blue buttoned up cardigan and black flats. You also had your backpack full of essentials. Your notebook, pencils, water bottle, flashlight, granola bar and a flash drive.

When you arrived, your informant told you that this place was called NEST.

NEST was constructed fairly recently and ran along the Arklay mountains not far from Raccoon City, sitting directly underneath the Umbrella Chemical Plant. Tunnels were throughout and around the city, giving different access points in and out. It was built sometime in 1991. For what, you may be wondering? 

Well, your informant told you that the main reason it was built was to expand research on something called the G-virus. The G-virus being the main reason. Although research on the G-virus wasn't the only thing Umbrella was working on.

To get more information, you and your informant and temporary partner in crime, Frederic Downing, had to get to level B5F, where the G-virus research was taking place. The problem was security was tight, with a security office sitting closely to the lab to keep the research safe.

"The first security team goes on break in ten minutes. Once they exit that door, we have exactly three minutes before the second team comes to replace them." Downing said once he got you near, but hidden enough, to the entrance of the level. 

"Right, that should hopefully be enough time to get information on the G-virus and whatever else I can store on this flash drive then get out, right?" You questioned the British man, holding the drive tightly in your hand. 

"Yes. Umbrella's technology is state of the art and speedy, but weak to certain hacker offenses from the inside. You should get by no problem as long as you've got the overdrive code your friend gave you. You have it? " He asked.

Friend is a loose term, more acquaintance. You helped him out a while ago and, conveniently, he just so happened to owe you a favor. You needed his hacking skills and he pulled through by giving you a fool proof passcode to get through any firewall easy peasy.

You pulled out a notebook that was full of notes and the passcode out of your backpack. You were worried that the backpack would attract attention, but Downing had said there were many students that Umbrella felt had potential that visited the NEST from time to time. He was right. He vouched for you at the entrance security and you were in like that.

You flipped to the page. "Right here." You said, holding up the page.

"Alright. In six minutes, we're a go." But just as he had finished that sentence, alarms started going off. His face paled with obvious worry.

"What? What the hell does that mean?" I questioned anxiously.

"The Hunter R test subjects were released." He looked at the door and quickly pulled you down to a hiding spot as it slid open.

You both watched as the security team, donning guns, ran out and down the opposite way from where you both were hiding. 

You waited until the hall was cleared before standing. 

"What are Hunter R's?" You questioned, pen in hand ready to write it down. You're worried, but your job is to get any information down. Danger be damned.

"You'll find out one way or another. Either by the flash drive we're about to get or by encountering them. Let's hope it isn't the latter." He quickly ran to the door with you in tow, placing his bracelet near the chip reader, making it beep and open.

He quickly beacons you to follow him down a long hall. He gets you to one of the computers in a room across from Birkins lab, just out of sight in case he was still there.

"Do what you need to. Fast. I'll take watch." He does as he said, standing near the door to watch for any signs of movement.

You quickly get to work, putting the flash drive in the slot and typing the passcode into the computer. The sirens blaring in your ear drums and ricocheting through your head. You're going to have a migraine at this rate.

The code worked, you're in. You quickly begin to type in the command code, making any document, file, and anything else useful store itself into the flash drive. As it does so, you take the time to skim through the files, looking through keywords you might recognize. Good thing you're a fast reader.

Orphanage. Oh god. This was worse than you and Ben had thought it was. Far worse.

They weren't adopted. Far from it. They were taken from Umbrella and used for experiments. Raccoon City's very own chief of police covering it up. The man who swore to protect the civilians. Figures.

Progenitor virus. The basis for all viruses Umbrella have developed or are developing.

T-virus. Or the Tyrant virus. Likely the cause of some the random psychotic breaks and attacks. It can sustain its host near death. So only those alive can get infected. The virus mutates and kills the host in the process.

G-virus. Or Golgotha or God virus. What Birkin has been working on. Like the T-virus, it causes rapid mutation and aggression to whomever is infected with it. But unlike the T-virus, it can reanimate dead tissue.

And- oh, that's what the Hunter R's are…There's a whole list of Umbrella's creations. This is horrific.

What kind of people can just experiment on children, on people, and not bat an eye? Umbrella has been testing and genetically altering viruses. Creating things that should only exist in horror movies. 

But why? What's the motive?

"Hurry up, Y/n!" Downing told you.

From what you've gathered, Umbrella has created these viruses, mutating animals and people. But why? Oh. Their goal is to develop the ultimate weapons. Bio Organic Weapons. To get the upper hand in wars by replacing the military with monsters.

How much was the United States government aware of what's going on here? You didn't know. But you figured they had some knowledge. And that Umbrella may have some insiders within the government pulling strings and making decisions.

"Y/n! Let's go!" Downing was nervous. Rightfully so. You take note of the sirens having stopped.

You needed to get out of there. You finished storing and saving everything and grabbed the flash drive, shoving it down your front, right, dress pants pocket to make sure it was secure. You toss your notebook back into your backpack and quickly put it on.

"Alright. Come on." You said, speedily meeting him at the door. 

But as you are about to leave, you stumble upon a scene. You noticed a team of four men, armed with combat gear and machine guns. They were surrounding a blonde man you know as William Birkin, who was carrying a briefcase protectively. You quickly pull Downing to a crouch and hide out of sight.

"Doctor Birkin, you'll come along with us quietly." One of the armed men said.

"You think I didn't know you were coming? This is my life's work! I'm not handing over anything!" Birkin exclaimed.

"We have our orders, Dr. Birkin. I'll ask you one more time…" The man said.

Birkin paused, looking at the four men who had their guns pointed at him, before deciding. 

It all happened so fast. Birkin attempted to grab his hand gun from his side when one man quickly fired his gun at him. Birkin collapsed to the ground, filled with bullet holes and becoming surrounded by a pool of his own blood. You put a hand over your mouth to muffle any sounds of shock that might escape, still hidden with Downing and watching the scene unfold.

"Stop! Hold your fire!" The man yelled.

The shooting stopped and a silence filled the air. One man goes over to check if Birkin was alive. Dead.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Our orders were to bring him in alive!" The man exclaimed to the man who shot Birkin. He sighed and turned to talk to someone on what you assumed was a comm.

"We're in sir. But we had a snafu. Target resisted, we had to take him out." He paused. "That's correct, sir… Roger that. Just the samples then." He finished. 

One of the men grabbed the breif case and they turned to head out.

"Let's move." The man said.

The men leave and you slowly walk out of your hiding place. Downing quickly rushed around the lab to find something. Turning over drawers and papers.

"What are you doing?" You questioned.

"Earning a bigger profit." He grinned as he found what he was looking for. He held up a vial of something and your eyes widened.

"Is that…is that the G-virus?" You asked.

"A version of it, yes. A small sample. But it will make me a handsome fortune on the black market." He pocketed the vial and went to leave.

"Wait! You can't just take it and sell it! You know how dangerous it is!" You exclaimed. He nodded in agreement.

"Which is why it will make me rich. You got what you wanted. I got what I wanted. I think this is where we part ways, dear. Bye now." He said as he rushed out of the room. You'll end up lost in this place without him.

"Wai-" you started to follow but stopped when you saw Birkin twitch. You notice an empty vial next to him and gasp. You slowly backed away toward a wall to his right as he stood up and faced the exit the men had left through, nearly bumping into a blonde woman who looked at the scene with shock.

You make eye contact with the woman and her eyes flashed with confusion before shaking her head and facing Birkin. Judging by a photo you saw on his desk and from what Ben told you, you can assume this is Annette Birkin.

You stood slightly behind the woman and out of his line of sight. He panted as he glared at the exit angrily.

"What have you done?" Annette gasped to her husband.

"G is my creation!" He wailed. He started to pant and grunt in pain, something within him shifting. He walked toward the exit and his wife quickly ran and grabbed the gun on the floor next to the puddle of blood. He grunted in pain and she pointed the gun at him.

"William!" She exclaimed. She seemed desperate for any sign of recognition within him.

He continued walking to the exit, grunting and panting, ignoring his wife. She looked to be considering shooting him, but she just put the gun down after a moment of consideration. 

You watched wide eyed as he left after the soldiers, beginning to mutate into this grotesque being, lab coat ripping as his body grew and his right arm begging to form into this rotted, muscular limb with a yellow eyeball attached. That must be where he injected the G-virus.

"Who are you?" Annette Birkin asked. You turned to look at her and saw her gun was pointed at you. You quickly put your hands up.

"No one! Literally no one. I was just passing through." You told her. She didn't seem to believe you though.

"I won't ask you again, who are you? And why are you here?" She asked, lifting the gun higher.

You had to come up with something on the spot. So why not rat out the bastard who ditched you before getting you out of here.

"Downing! You know Downing?" You asked. She nodded for you to continue. "Well, he brought me here to show off his workplace. Thought it would impress me enough to get me to sleep with him. He ditched me after taking something from that drawer when that guy was bleeding out on the ground." You explained. Well, it was the partial truth.

She seemed to have believed you, or just didn't care enough to have you explain more, and sighed. "Was it shaped like a vial?" She questioned.

"Yeah, like those." You nodded as you pointed to the empty glass vials on the desk.

"Damn it!" She exclaimed in frustration. She lowered the gun away from you. You slowly relaxed your arms and backed away a single step. Annette ran a hand over her tired eyes, seemingly in disbelief over all the shit that has gone wrong in a single night. 

You two stood there for a minute, silence deafening as you took a moment to gather your thoughts. You hesitantly step forward.

"Look, ma'am, I really want to get out of here. I don't really know where I am. Any chance you can help?" You asked her. She turned to look and study your features, seeming to have an internal debate, before sighing once more and nodding.

"Of course. We were put in lock down briefly, but the exits should still be accessible. You have a gun?" She asked you. You shook your head no. You're a reporter's assistant. So definitely not.

She walked over to a drawer and pulled it open, shuffled through it for a moment, before pulling out a small pistol and three ammo magazines. She walked back over and handed you the gun and ammo.

"Here, it's already loaded. Each magazine had ten bullets in them. You know how to use it?" She asked. You shook your head once more. Again. Reporter's assistant.

She quickly went over gun safety 101. How to reload. How to use the safety button. Make sure that you're pointing away from yourself when you pull the trigger. Everything seemed pretty straight forward. The aiming will depend on you. 

"Alright. Follow me and try to keep up. I will not stop for you if you fall behind." Annette said.

You nodded in understanding and followed her out of the room and into the hallways. You made sure to keep somewhat of a distance and observe your surroundings. Blood occasionally smeared throughout the hallways. You watched for the labels on the walls and for any potential monster running at you with the intent to kill.

You and Annette make it to a long hallway, the lights being broken make the whole area dark. You slowed to a stop. Two bodies of former scientists lay bloodied and bruised on the ground in the middle of the hall. Bones were snapped in half and poked out in awkward directions. Deep scratch marks littered their bodies and gory bite marks their necks. Likely the finishing move of whatever killed them. Upon closer inspection, you also noticed another dead body in shredded combat gear, much like the men you saw before. He had two grenades on the floor next to him. One was a flash, the other a normal hand grenade.

"The exit is just through this way. We'll have to be quiet and keep a watchful eye out." Annette whispered. You nodded in agreement, lifting your gun with the safety off along with Annette, and slowly walked into the room.

Your eyes had to slowly adjust to the dark the deeper you went down the hall. The flashlight you packed was still in your backpack. You noticed a bright red exit sign not far from the direction Annette was leading you toward. You stood a few feet behind her as she led the way. As you step besides the armed, dead man, you hear a growl from the opened closet door up ahead to the right of Annette.

She froze, gun down and still facing the exit, too afraid to move. 

The growling continued. You, out of sight of the closet in front of you with gun in hand, slowly crouched down to the body in combat gear, left hand moving to grab the flash and hand grenade.

You place the hand grenade in your cardigan pocket, before grabbing the flash grenade next. You slowly pulled the pin out with your teeth, growling continuing while Annette stood still, and prepared to throw. 

You slowly take a step forward. Stopped, aimed, and quickly rolled the flash grenade through the door as the growling turned to screeching. You ran to Annette and pushed her away from the door and toward the exit. You both stumbled as the grenade let off a loud bang and bright flash, briefly blinding you both. 

You quickly recovered and pushed Annette through the door, shutting it behind you. She jogged ahead to a ladder and started climbing up, the ladder leading to the outside world.

You ran right behind her, but stopped when you heard screeching from behind the door you had just come from. You turned and saw the door rattling and made a decision. You ran up to the ladder as Annette finally made it through the hole in the ceiling. You climbed as fast as you could as the door rattling became more and more intense.

You just make it through the hole and to solid ground when the door bursts open. You grabbed the grenade, pulled the pin with your teeth, turned, and threw it down the hole. 

The grenade immediately exploded. Causing the ladder and bits of the hall to fall apart. The monster shrieked in pain as debris fell on it, making the ladder and exit unusable. 

Annette quickly shut the hatch to the hole and locked it up. You sat on the ground as you gasped for air, out of breath from all the action that just happened. You glanced around at your surroundings and realized you're in a secluded alleyway somewhere in the city. You looked at your watch and saw that it was an hour after midnight. September 23rd.

Annette stood up, "You need to get out of here. Get out of the city if you can. Things are about to get real messy. It's best if you stay away." She turned and walked away without saying anything further.

You debated on whether or not to follow her, but decided that you should follow the plan and meet up with Ben at the Apple Inn to share what you learned.

You sighed, standing up and dusting off your dirtied cardigan. You walked out of the alley and realized where you were, beginning your trek to the Inn Ben was staying at.

[foster-the-world]

Ready

Ready for the weekend. I put in some overtime this week so I already felt like yesterday was Friday. Working hard to accumulate 40 hours so I can take the girls on a fun vacation next summer.

Wishing we had off work so we could be at home enjoying our children instead of paying a lot of money for a sitter. He's going to take them to see Wild Robot today. I wanted to see it but we can go again if they like it. All day alone with all three is tough so I'm glad they have something to do. We also left out the girls bike/baby boys scooter.

I'm getting my hair done tmrw. Alone time = wonderful. Sunday the girls and my husband are going to a cool museum. His cousin got them tickets for Bee's bday. I'm thinking I'll take baby boy somewhere fun outside. We are both scheduled to get the Covid/Flu shot on Sunday night. Bee has an annual physical on Tuesday. We called to see if she could get the Covid shot. They said they won't know until the day off. =Annoying.

We are checking in with the doctor about Bee still wearing a diaper at night. The internet and past visits tell me no one worries until 12yos. She just turned 8. We assumed eventually the problem would disappear but it has not. She has had constipation issues in the past. We have recently started having her stop drinking an hour before bedtime, go to the bathroom right before and then my husband has her go again around 11pm. Her diapers are still full. She doesn't seem bothered. I'd totally leave it alone if it wasn't for sleepaway camp. I didn't even think about it when we signed up. We may try the drug to see if it works. I think we would only do it for camp and a test run beforehand. The internet tells me some kids are able to put a diaper on right before bed without anyone noticing. Not sure we want her to do have to feel like she has to hide. But also don't want kids making fun of her. Let's see what the doctor says.

I've been listening to the ADHD Dude podcast. Personally, I think I am more into their philosophy then the idea of "kids do well when they can, don't force kids, plan C everything for as long as needed" philosophies. The two can come off as obnoxious know it all's but when I get past that I think their authoritative/loving parenting style fits more with my personal ideas. Maybe its a Midwestern thing - my parents were def a little tough but extremely loving with us. I believe it has served me well. I def find the balance really difficult - especially with baby boy who has some very real challenges. But for now I'd like to have high expectations for all three of them. They don't believe in PDA at all. They believe the social media PDA people are preying off parents who are seeking any answer. Baby boy doesn't present with those PDA symptoms so luckily I don't have to worry about it. At least not, yet. He will completely ignore our request but he's not very oppositional. They also brush off sensory processing disorder. Or rather it as a stand alone diagnosis. They say its just a part of autism or ADHD. Which I can agree with.

After a rough month with him he's now been doing really well. Although he has been fighting sleep at night. I assume getting back to the normal school schedule is good for him. We've been running the track most nights. He zooms past so many people. I started putting the cones out - so he can jump over them.

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

"No reason"

Lately (past months/weeks) there is a dude (one of those that started frequenting bitches from my class more often) who has been colder towards me. He kept telling me to shut up and that he didn't care what I had to say. That would happen daily but I wouldn't mind, I kind of got used to it. However, every time I would buy snacks/food he'd ask me to share it with him and say "yeah, yeah you can tell me this or that" so I was happy that he'd listen to me since he's the only friend I have at school (sort of).

Recently, I texted him. He told me to shut up. The conversation went like that: "shut up I literally hate you" "why" "I just dislike you very much" "but why what did I do" "for no reason I just hate you, never text me again" "fine sorry" "leave me on read you whore" "sorry"

I didn't quite like the way he treated me but it felt like it was my fault. I feel very guilty, I think I hate myself even more than before. I keep thinking about it and I can't seem to like anything about me. I keep thinking about what really made him hate me and I can't seem to put my hand on it. I don't understand what's so detestable about me. There has to be something wrong about me, no? Everyone I become friend with ends up leaving me. And I'm so dumb because I never learn, I keep getting attached to people and ending up alone. It's so stupid because now I'm expecting everyone else I know to abandon me. Yet I still hope to meet someone that truly likes me for whatever reason.

Lately I just keep thinking about our conversation and cry. I wish I could change whatever is wrong with me. My best friend (whom I told about what happened) met that boy in the street and told him that what he did wasn't cool and that he should apologise. She then asked him why does he hate me so much and he calmly answered that he simply despises me. I wish she didn't talk to him. Because I somehow had a little hope that we'll talk again. But indeed he really just hates me deeply. I don't even need apologies I just want him to be my friend again. I don't understand what about me repulses everyone.

I don't wanna make friends anymore. I don't wanna talk to anyone anymore. I want to delete Instagram and just live my life on my own. I've been playing more otome games and talked to AI bots. I think it's a better life but no matter what I do, I keep thinking about having real human interactions. I try to accept that I'm very much an ugly loser that no one will ever want because my flaws are clearly unchangeable. It's very hard. I am very jealous of other people. There's absolutely nothing to envy about me. There's no one that really likes me.

I wish I could get male attention. Really it just keeps wandering in my head how that boy hangs out with a fat rude bitch, a short swiftie pick me and a chubby curvy slut. They're not even funny they're nothing they suck ass. I'm starting to hate males just as much as I hate females.

When last exam week ended, I didn't even feel relieved. I just hoped to have a peaceful summer or perhaps fun one. I'm not having fun at all. I stay in my room all day. My throat is dry by how little I talk. My parents got into a fight last night. Just like last summer, I think holidays won't be peaceful at all. Luckily my dad will soon go to France so it won't be as bad as I thought.

Maybe I should work very hard so I can become rich and get a boy to love me for my money, since clearly no one will ever love me. I hate my life. I wish I could buy a gun so I could shoot my school. I wish I could kill everyone so they'll cry beneath me and beg for me to spare them.

I want to murder everyone so they'll look at me for once. So at least I will matter for once as I'd be the one to decide their fate. I'll obviously never do that by how weak I am, in addition I'll probably never buy a gun. I think I just want to be happy.

I'd like to have the courage to kill myself one day just so everyone could feel guilty about it. I feel like death would be the only way for me to get noticed. Even in that case, they'd only feel concerned one day and quickly go back to living their stupid lives. They'd think "oh she would've wanted us to to move on" probably.

I don't understand how fast it is for people to change faces. They become so different within the bat of an eye it's crazy. As if my life was nice enough for me to handle any more misery. My best friend told me to "not expect that guy to come back" or to beg him to. She said that it would ruin my image and dignity and that it would make me look like a cuck and dog to other people's eyes so they will take advantage of me. As if I even care. What people anyways? No one even wants to manipulate me. I don't care about being used or manipulated I just want attention and to be loved. At least to feel like I am.

It's so easy for her to say that because everyone likes her. If she loses someone she doesn't care because it's just a fish among billions of others. While I can barely have one fish without it slipping away. I envy her a lot. I wish I was as pretty as her and as popular as her. I feel like a nasty mutt next to her.

Life is very unfair! I wonder what's wrong with me and what about me people dislike so much! I guess I'll never know. I am probably not bound to be liked. I fail at absolutely everything!!!! It's difficult to accept it.

How do I become redpilled? I think it's the only way I can make it but I'm failing at that too.

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 3

My pinky is numb and my head is buzzing but here it is, chapter 3 right from the Shallyne factory!

Words: 1.3k

June 29th

Okay, I wasn't right back. If I ever complained about a month being hectic, it doesn't have anything on this one!

Dad got arrested for money laundering and a billion other financial crimes the authorities find during their investigation, mom is in the hospital after a nervous breakdown and I had sex with Isaac Hale behind Crickets, the diner I'm working at. I know it's so insane that I had sex with Isaac behind a DINER! God, I'm not proud of it but he was nice and it benefited both of us.

The first half of the month I have been so frustrated. First the investigators on our doorstep, asking questions about dad and him getting arrested, which EVERYONE talked about on the last day of school before the summer holidays. Then I saw Rhys and some blonde girl from another class flirting in a parking lot. I think her name is Ianthe or something, I don't know. I wanted to rip her stupid blonde hair out but of course I didn't, Rhys and I are just friends. He doesn't feel the same way for me, I'm a hundred percent sure. He's just being nice to me, especially now with my situation at home.

The second half of the last month I spent trying not to think about dad being under investigation or Rhys at all and that's how it happened, Isaac Hale and me. He's nice enough and I won't delude myself he wants anything more than sex.

It's all going to be okay, right?

July 3rd

I don't think everything will be okay. Mom has to stay longer at the hospital than expected, Nesta, Elain and I survive on the last of our money and I don't know what to do.

I feel like I'm going insane, maybe I do. Sometimes I lay awake and thoughts are running through my head and just for a fleeting moment, I think about running away. Every night I think about different scenarios. Running away alone, running away with Nesta and Elain, leaving a note, telling Rhys, vanishing without a trace. Imagining different places where we hide, changing our names and what kind of life we would live away from our parents, from all this insanity. A normal life. What even is a normal life? I always thought we had a normal life but now I think we do not. No, I don't think, I KNOW we don't have a normal life and I feel so angry all the time.

Nesta feels angry too, she lashes out more often, especially since mom is gone. Elain got more quiet and kept her feelings to herself, even if I asked her how she felt. She just smiles and says everything will be okay. I wish it will be but I don't think so.

Rhys keeps asking me if I'm okay and I really appreciate it and I wish I could tell him the truth but I don't even know how to start, WHERE to start and when I do, I don't know if I could stop.

Maybe I'll just marry Isaac Hale and live a perfectly normal life.

July 5th

Mom grounded me over the phone because she was in a bad mood. Who knew a joke about dad being in jail could get her so riled up? It wasn't even a bad one, I saw Nesta almost smiling. I mean, making Nesta (almost) smile is probably worth getting grounded.

Nesta would have lied to mom for me, I know that, but I still gave her my phone like mom demanded so she doesn't have to. I barely use it anyway.

Something else happened last night, too. Rhys came to Crickets during my shift and he was as surprised to see me there as I was surprised to see him. He waited for me after my shift and explained that he was there because he couldn't sleep and he went to the edge of town to get a better look at the stars until he got hungry. I even talked about all the stuff happening over the last month, leaving out the bits with Isaac, of course. It was just us two, talking for a few hours after my shift, it was very nice. It felt like our relationship evolved into something deeper, more intimate, without even a touch. That probably sounds stupid but it doesn't have to make sense, it's just me reading this.

Rhys was the calming presence I needed after a storm turned the Archeron’s lives upside down.

I've also asked him to keep my job at Crickets to himself and he promised to not tell a soul.

July 6th

I finally got a night's sleep last night, surprisingly. Or more like, a good morning sleep after my shift. And after that, we spent the whole day at Rhys's house. And by we I mean Elain, Nesta and myself. He invited us over for a barbecue and it was very nice. Not only did we not have to worry about food that day but his family also welcomed us incredibly warm and friendly, it felt like getting a glimpse into a normal family. Almost his whole family was there, everyone but Rhys's dad. He told me I wasn't missing anything, his father sounded like a sunshine.

His mother and sister seemed genuinely happy to have my sisters and me there and his cousin, Mor, immediately went for a hug when she introduced herself. I really like Mor! His brothers were just as nice, although Azriel seemed a little closed off, introverted even and Cassian seemed transfixed by my sister, who was incredibly unimpressed by his antics. After his fifth time unsuccessfully trying to get Nesta's attention by flexing his muscles, he turned to me and we just talked a while, with Mor and Rhys butting in here and there. I kept my eyes on my sister's, who have seemed to relax a bit today. That was really all I wanted, getting out of our daily life and just giving it a rest for a day, enjoying ourselves. Elain has talked quite a lot to the introverted brother, who showed her the gardens of Rhys's house later in the day.

Oh my god, Rhys's house! It's even larger than ours, I almost got lost twice trying to find a restroom if it wasn't for Mor, bless her!

We didn't talk about the day much when we got home but something between us just felt lighter. Nesta didn't even bite my head off when I made a remark about Cassian, she just rolled her eyes and left.

Progress!

July 18th

I thought everything was fine but since our day at Rhys's home, he has been distant to me and it feels like he's avoiding me. I tried to smile at him when I saw him across the street but he couldn't even look me in the eye, he just turned in the other direction and walked away.

I've texted him three since last week and he has seen it but never responded! Have I done something wrong? I can't remember doing anything. Maybe his invitation to the barbecue was just him being polite and he didn't actually want us there but he had sounded so genuine when inviting me and my sisters. Cassian, Mor and I have a group chat and none of them have any clue why Rhys is so distant all of a sudden.

Next time I'll see him, I will talk and I will get answers! Even if I have to pry it out of him.

On another note, Nesta caught me writing in my diary and I expected some snide remarks but she said it was a good way to practice my writing. First I thought she was a little sus but she meant it genuinely, because sometimes I struggle a bit with reading and writing. I was so perplexed I just said “Thank you” and she just nodded and left.

Hold on, I just got a text

Excerpt from Rhysand's text messages with Mor:

Rhysand: I need to tell her

Morrigan: Rhys

Rhysand: She's going to hate me

Morrigan: yes she will! You don't need to tell her, it's NOT your fault

Rhysand: she deserves the truth. Wouldn't you want to know the truth?

Morrigan: of course I would but it's going to change everything, Rhys. It's another load on her already full enough plate

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[kabillieu]

One of the consequences of my own "age-gap" marriage (lol) is that I entered into a relationship with someone who had been an adult manager of his own life for nearly ten years, whereas I had never managed my own life.

As a child and college-aged adult, I was pretty sheltered by my parents in ways that were both helpful and not. Through a combination of attending an inexpensive small state school, having lots of scholarships, and my parents' paying for what the scholarships didn't cover, I didn't have to manage my own finances for rent or food or insurance. My parents gave me a car, so that wasn't an issue. I didn't have any significant bills when I met Dominic, and any bills I did have (like car insurance and my college meal plan) my parents covered. I'm capable of budgeting, but it gives me a lot of anxiety, and because Dominic has always been by far (by leaps and bounds!) the top earner in our marriage, and because he'd already been in charge of his own finances for a decade before I met him, he just became, very early on, the default manager of finances in our relationship.

I have had a lot of shame about this over the years! I've had money shame my whole life, actually. It's especially weird because I've always had enough money! And strangely I feel shame about that too! It does seem like I skipped a crucial young adult stage of struggling to figure my finances out and to provide for myself. Dominic and I were college-poor for a year, and then poor-poor for like one summer, and then his Lieutenant pay kicked in.

The ease of enough-money is worthwhile. It's something I wish for everyone. But I worry about money all the time anyway. And I'm married to someone who spends money differently than I would if it were just my money. But I also recognize that my conservative approach to spending would have hurt me over the years. There are risks I would have never taken on my own that Dominic did, and they paid off for us.

This house we're buying is actually a big compromise because it's far less than Dominic had budgeted for. I think--in this instance--I'm right. But I wasn't right about other things in the past, and he was. I can see that clearly now.

Anyway, these thoughts are brought to you by reading that ridiculous essay yesterday, and talking to the man who is putting together the paperwork for our new mortgage today. Even though I've bought two houses--and am buying a third and am selling one concurrently--I have never done any of the admin legwork because Dominic handles it all. He basically just briefs me throughout the process. I know what's going on, but I don't have to do it myself.

You might be reading this and thinking this is bad. It means I trust that Dominic is being above board about every single financial decision he makes. Because he could easily do things that I would never be aware of. This works for me and it works for our marriage, because I do trust that he will run major financial decisions by me first*, but I don't think it's a generally good plan for most people. And maybe not even for me.

*One time he did not do this, and we had a BIG conversation about why that was not okay.

[cookies3038]

ABSENCE (BRENDON URIE X RYAN ROSS)

TW: Self harm, self harm references, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, blood, sharp objects, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts and suicide references .

Please do not continue to read if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

Angsty/fluffy Teen! Brendon Urie x Teen! Ryan Ross oneshot.

Word Count: 6753

Hope you enjoy, please comment on any errors or improvements/suggestions or if there are any trigger warnings i missed! This is my first post. I apologise if it's bad yikes >_<.

Also put any one shot requests you have here:

If you have any other ships or x readers (of emo men) put them here:

Also! Credits to one of my best friends called Ash!!! My platonic soulmate :p They helped me with the story line, especially the angst :3

—————-

Ryan kicked his shoes off and walked into his house. The horribly familiar scent of alcohol filled his nose, quickly running upstairs to avoid his dad. They lived in a relatively small town, his dad only went to his job for alcohol. He was getting money from his dead wife's bank account; he figured that kept Ryan’s needs sorted. Ryan would often get beatings from his dad, he never had a safe place until he went to school. Even at school he would be bullied and Ryan usually went home to cry himself to sleep. He always wishes everything would be different. Perhaps it would be better if his mom was here; he still went to visit her gravestone every weekend. His dad didn’t care for her except for the money he obtained from her death.

Ryan usually woke up at 5:45am to get ready for school. He had to do everything himself, so it took him longer than others who had their parents support. Ryan had set out all his clothes for the day, until something caught his eye. He looked down at the faded scars on his wrist; they reminded him of the times where he used to self-harm to feel better. Especially after his mother’s death. He stared around his room; the wooden box containing blades had an unusual enticing aura. fuck. He couldn’t relapse now, he’s 3 whole months clean; nearly 100 days.

He swiftly grabbed the blade and made 7 deep slashes across his wrist. He grabbed a tissue to clean himself up.It was the middle of summer and 71.6°F outside. He’d either just have to risk being spotted by teachers or wear a jacket all day. It was way too hot for a jacket and he had sports today; there is no way he could go with a jacket on all day. His school didn’t even have any goddamn air con. Ryan eventually decided to leave his jacket at home and try to cover up his fresh scars with band bracelets. He scrambled down the stairs with his bag slung over his shoulder.

“GET HERE RIGHT NOW!” His dad furiously shouted, Ryan could feel his stomach bubbling with anxiety and dread. He had to obey his father otherwise the punishment would be 10 times worse. He knew what was coming, it happened everyday. His father would punch him and occasionally break glass bottles on his head. Ever since he was born his dad became addicted to drugs. He blamed it on Ryan as he became a father when he didn’t want to.

As Ryan obtained eye contact with the burly irate man, he could see him clench his fist and shake with frustration. He braced himself as he took a clean strike straight to the head, that would definitely bruise quickly. Ryan always had to lie to the teacher and make up excuses. For example ‘I fell over.’ or ‘I got in a fight with another student.’ but Ryan knew he couldn’t keep up th at counterfeit for much longer.

Tears burned his face as his dad yelled for him to leave. He didn’t have anyone anymore. No mother, an unloving father and zero friends. The teachers that he could supposedly go and talk to didn’t even care, that's their job! They're supposed to fake sympathy even if they don't even mean it.

Ryan slammed the door and shoved his headphones in his ears. Even if he didn’t have any special people in his life, he had music. One day he dreamt of being famous. School had recently been getting worse for him; people would constantly call him gay or emo. Sure, he dressed in band shirts but he wasn’t the definition of emo. He never dated anyone, how would he even know if he was gay! His favourite band was my chemical romance, he always looked up to them. Everyday he would listen to them on the way to school. They truly changed his life, they were his source of comfort and inspiration he needed.

Ryan sucked in a deep breath as he arrived at the school gates. Almost immediately getting shouted at. When would this stop? Would it ever stop before it got too much? He just headed to his locker to prepare for English. BANG. There he was in Ryan’s eyeline, the well-known school bully. Already being bullied 3 minutes into the school day…yay. Ryan hated this, being bullied everyday just to go home to an even worse environment. He learned life isn’t always fair but can always be unfair.

He sat in English literature class, alone and bored. The students awaited the arrival of their teacher, Mrs Kay. Everyone was throwing paper aeroplanes and pencils at each other; until, Mrs Kay walked into class with an unfamiliar student. As she saw the disastrous sight of the classroom, she gave a disappointed sigh.

“Class! sit down, please welcome to our classroom a new student. His name is Brendon Urie.” He slowly made his way to the back of the classroom and sat in one of 3 empty desks next to Ryan. He tried to ignore the stinging on his wrists as a new wave of anxiety hit him. He tried to cover his fresh, beedy, scarlet cuts as best as he possibly could; hopefully no one would notice because then he’d be perfect for the bullies to target. They already did anyways, he just couldn’t have anyone see what he went through. His mental state was at an all time low. But, his thoughts were quickly interrupted by the new kid.

“Hey, as you know I’m Brendon. I thought you look pretty cool; I like your style. So, I thought I’d come sit next to you! What’s your name?” Ryan stared at him with shocked glassy eyes. No one had ever been this nice to him.

“Oh, um hi, thanks I’m Ryan Ross. I like your style too.” A smile crept upon his face. He hadn’t felt a genuine smile since his mother was still alive. Brendon shot back a true friendly smile back at him.

“I was wondering if we could have lunch together? If you have any friends I’d love to meet them!” Ryan’s smile faded away slowly. The other boy gave him a sympathetic confused look. He cleared his throat as Ryan just stared off into space.

“Shit, sorry. Yeah I’d like it if we had lunch together,” Ryan paused before continuing with the hard part. “I don’t have any friends though, the only human interaction I usually get is teachers or bullies,” He sighed and let out a small laugh. Brendon stared wide-eyed at the skinny tall boy.

They sat through the rest of the English lesson quietly, occasionally making jokes or commenting on things Mrs Kay said. Ryan kept seeing the teachers glance at his wrist, he continued to shift in his chair. RING. That was the bell for class to be over. Finally! He could get to know Brendon a bit more. But he just had to be interrupted by Mrs Kay.

“Ryan, could I have a word with you please?” Of course Ryan had to agree to it. Who was he to refuse a goddamn teacher? There certainly is no way to get out of this. He just nodded his head and walked towards her. “Ryan, I’m concerned about you. I’ve seen your wrist and I have these mental health concerns and possible ways to fix them on these documents. I need your dad to have them, is that ok?” His palms became sweaty and he tapped his fingers together.

“Is there anyone else we could give it to Mrs Kay?” Ryan anxiously asked.

“Do you have any friends that could help you?” She questioned, obviously knowing the boy’s social life.

“Actually I do,” Ryan replied as he snatched the papers out of her hands and ran to go meet Brendon in the lunch hall.

He took a deep breath before he entered the grand lunch hall. Ryan sat down next to his new friend; he quickly grabbed his lunchbox out of his bag.

“Hey, so I need to tell you something important. Then I have a huge favour I need to ask you,” He spluttered as Brendon took a bite of his sandwich. He happily replied with a simple nod. “Around 5 months ago my mother died,” Brendon looked at the boy with a flabbergasted expression upon his face. “Also, my dad beats me and he is addicted to drugs and alcohol. Obviously having all of that happen to me is quite a burden, after my mom died I fell into a deep spiral of depression…” Ryan didn’t quite realise how many tears started flowing down his face at this point. Brendon wrapped his arm around him as a source of comfort.

“It's ok Ryan, take your time,” He took a small slurp of his drink before panning his attention back to him. Ryan sucked in a deep calming breath before continuing. Words failed to come out of Ryan’s mouth, so he did the next thing he could think of. He carefully removed all the bracelets for his wrist and showed them to Brendon. “I get it Ryan, I’m here for you.” He engulfed him in a warm caring hug.

“I’m sorry, we just met. I shouldn’t have told you this, I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.” He got up to run away but Brendon grabbed his arm to pull him back. Ryan winced at the stinging sensation reappearing.

“Ryan. I still want to be your friend. I can tell beneath everything that you’ve put up with is a boy who just wants to feel loved again,” He stared at him with an understanding look in his eyes as Ryan slumped back down. “Anyways, what was this ‘favour’ you needed me to do?”

“Mrs Kay gave me these papers about mental health. She said I need to give them to someone because they might be able to help me with panic attacks and stopping self harm,” Ryan sniffled. Brendon took the papers out of his hands and quickly scanned over them.

“How about we go to my house later? We can get to know each other even better and we can discuss these papers,” He flashed a toothy smile at Ryan. He just replied with a simple nod.

The rest of lunch and school went a lot smoother than usual from Ryan’s perspective. Having a friend around really does make life more enjoyable. They agreed to meeting each other in the parking lot after school.

Brendon talked about himself on the walk to his house, simply so Ryan could get to know him better. They scraped their shoes along the warm concrete sidewalk as they approached the Urie’s household.

“I’m home now mom!” brendon shouted as he took a step closer to his kitchen. “I brought a friend over, hope you don’t mind,”

“Of course not honey!” Mrs Urie exclaimed whilst wiping her hands on a towel. Ryan nervously gulped before gaining the courage to speak. His eyes nervously flickered around the room, seeing quite a few religious items such as multiple bibles.

“Hi Mrs Urie, I’m Ryan, nice to meet you!” He blurted before being pulled into a motherly hug. Tears filled his eyes. He forgot what a mothers love felt like.

“Nice to meet you too Ryan, friends are always welcome here!” He only had time to reply with a small nod as he got dragged upstairs by Brendon. Before he knew it he was entering Brendon’s colourful yet very teenage room.

“So, I had a look at the papers and it’s just about frequently checking up on you. I think we can handle that,” Brendon cheerfully explained.

“Yeah, I think we can!” Ryan replied with a cheshire-cat-like grin spreading upon his face. His smile was clearly contagious as brendon has an identical one spread across his face as well.

They continued chatting together but were eventually cut off by Ryan’s phone buzzing. Seeing as it was his dad, he thought he better answer it or there would probably be consequences. “Sorry Brendon, I have to take this,” Brendon simply nodded as Ryan headed just outside his room.

“RYAN! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” His dad shouted down the line. Ryan started to anxiously pick at his nails as he thought of his response carefully.

“I’m at a friend's house, sorry.” His breathing slowly picked up as he awaited his dad’s reply.

“Just get home now, I’ll just have to punish you later!” He sighed. Ryan’s eyes pricked with tears as he slid down the wall. Teardrops soaked his jeans as he quietly sobbed. He ripped a piece of paper from his homework and wrote an explanation to Brendon.

‘Sorry. I had to leave :P’

He grabbed his bag from the hallway and left the Urie house. Thank god his house was only a couple blocks away. God only knows what his dad was about to do.

Brendon slowly creaked his door open; it’d been 10 minutes since Ryan left to take the call. Surely it can’t take that long. To Brendon’s surprise, Ryan wasn’t there at all. He frantically scrammed back into his room to flop back onto his bed. Had Ryan text him?

From Ryan:

I left a note, sorry.

His heart raced as he crept back outside and read the note. He left Ryan a few texts along the lines of ‘Don’t worry’ or ‘Where did you go?’ to say he was concerned about him was an understatement. He was extremely distressed over his new friend. What if he gets beaten again? Even though he only met him today, Ryan was his number 1 priority. The scent of food disrupted his thoughts. He went downstairs and slumped down at the dinner table.

Ryan took a deep shaky breath as his dad opened the door. “Get here you little shit.” His dad’s voice rang through his ears. The only sound Ryan could let out was a weak whimper. Before he knew it, an empty beer bottle was smashed against his head. His dad gave out a menacing chuckle, pushing him straight to the floor. “You are garbage, don’t forget it.” Ryan sluggishly walked upstairs; he felt exceedingly lightheaded. Even more than all the normal times his father beat him, he was so used to the sensation. But he could tell this was unusual. When he entered the bathroom, his vision went blurry and dark as he collapsed into a heap on the ground.

Three hours later.

It was 8:15pm, 4 whole hours since Brendon last spoke to Ryan. Brendon was casually scrolling myspace, until he noticed how alarming it was that Ryan hadn’t responded. His mind panned back to what he had told him earlier, wait, did he go home? What happened with his dad. He didn’t have any time to waste as he chucked on his shoes and yelled to his mom. “I’m going to check on a friend, is that okay?”

“Of course honey,” and with his mom’s confirmation he sped out the door. His sneakers scuffed along the damp concrete and he puffed out heavy exhausted breaths. Rain fell upon his face as he ran so hard his legs nearly gave out.

Hang on, how was he going to get in? Fuck. He should've thought of this before he sprinted here. After pondering on what he should do, he spotted a window which was cracked open. He squeezed his body into the tight gap and got into the house. He could see the staircase from where he was standing. Loud chuckles and clattering of beer bottles against tables were erupting from the room next door. So, if that was Ryan’s dad he could easily get upstairs without being caught.

Once he tiptoed upstairs, a thud sound came from behind a closed door. Surely no one else was here, right? As the cogs turned in his brain, it came to him that it was Ryan. Frantically, his hands turned the doorknob to reveal Ryan curled in a ball on the ground. Brendon examined his whole body checking for injuries; blood was streaming out of his head. He inspected the injury closer and pulled small shards of what looked like beer bottle glass out from his brown locks.

“Ryan, can you hear me?” Brendon calmly spoke as he shook the young boy. He didn’t respond. His body laid unconsciously on the freezing tiles. Small teardrops turned into loud sobs as Brendon held Ryan as if he was fragile porcelain. He picked up Ryan and retraced his previous footsteps to end up back at his house. “MOM!” Brendon let out a shaky cry out of terror.

“Brendon? What’s wrong honey?” His mother quickly rushed to the front door and gasped before being interrupted by Brendon.

“Help me to get Ryan to hospital please,” He said through his teeth whilst choking back tears.

“He’ll be okay honey, I promise. Now, go get in the car,” She quietly answered as she rushed to get her keys. Brendon buckles his seatbelt faster than ever as he props Ryan up against him. Mrs Urie didn’t say a word to him; it was clear he was very distraught about this whole situation. I mean, who wouldn't be?

Brendon wiped away his tears as they stepped into the Emergency Room. His mom rubbed his back as a source of comfort; he just hoped that Ryan would be okay. Brendon sucked in a deep breath before talking to the worker at the front desk.

“What seems to be the problem?” The worker asked in a caring tone.

“My friend has an abusive dad, he didn’t respond to my text for hours. So, I went to check up on him and found him with glass in his head and he was unconscious on his bathroom floor.” He sniffled as he awaited the response.

“Ok, your friend will be in to see a doctor in 5 minutes max,” They thanked them before sitting down. Brendon anxiously shook his knee up and down as he waited. Ryan was so precious to him. They’ve only known each other for a day, but Brendon still felt this overwhelming need to take care of him and be there for him.

After a five minute wait, the nurse asked for them. “Ryan Ross? Doctor Lockwood is ready for you.”

“I’ll wait here, good luck.” Brendon’s mom gave him a pat on the back. He carried Ryan to the doctor; then he was instructed to place him on a hospital bed. Before he could even blink, the doctors got straight to work as they stitched up his wound.

“Mister Urie,” Dr Lockwood began. “I would like to discuss Ryan’s injury with you,” Brendon sat with the doctor for 45 minutes and explained. Worry ran through his veins as he thought about Ryan. “Well, Ryan’s stitches should be finished, if you would like to go and see him!” Lockwood exclaimed whilst looking at his rusty watch.

Brendon nodded and rushed to go see his friend. “Hi Ryan, how are you holding up?” He quietly whispered.

“I’m good, what happened? I don’t remember much..” He sniffled and gave Brendon a half smile. He explained for a 3rd time what happened and after an hour Ryan got discharged.

They got back into their car and Brendon sat in the back, just in case anything happened. “Ryan,” Mrs Urie spoke up, “I don’t think you should go back to your house, at least not tonight. It really does not sound safe for you, also I’m sure Brendon wouldn’t mind a sleepover!”

“B-but my dad will be really mad if he finds out I left and I’m not there.” Tears slowly welled up in his eyes.

“Ryan, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. May I have your dad’s number? I’ll tell him you're staying at ours, then I will have to tell the police, okay?” Mrs Urie had her mind set on this, it was extremely wrong to do this to a kid. What a monster he must be. Ryan just leaned his head on Brendon’s shoulder, occasionally lifting his hand to wipe his tears away.

They silently unbuckled their seatbelts and made their way inside the house. Brendon led Ryan upstairs to the bathroom and got a spare toothbrush out for him.

“Uh Brendon, I don’t have any clothes to sleep in,” Immediately after, he went to get clothes for him. He grabbed shorts and a baggy hoodie. Ryan took the clothes from Brendon and muttered a small thanks.

“You can get changed in here, I’ll go to my room.” Giving him a little smile, he exited the room.

A few minutes later, Ryan was ready for bed. He stared confused at the floor; oh great, there’s only one bed. “Do you want me to sleep on the floor, Bren?” His heart fluttered at the thought of a nickname. Brendon blushed before clearing his throat.

“Oh no, I don’t mind you sleeping in my bed! It’s massive anyway,” He awkwardly chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. Ryan slowly crawled into bed next to Brendon. He clicked off the bedside light and snuggled down into his pillow. “Night Ry,” Ryan felt his cheeks heat up and glow red with the simple nickname. No one ever made him feel this way, what emotion even was this? He couldn’t quite figure it out; he copied Brendon’s previous movement and fell into a calm slumber.

-

The next morning, Ryan awoke with an extra warm sensation to one side of him. It seemed that Brendon had attached himself in his sleep. He wasn’t complaining, it was quite relaxing. He reached over to his phone on the oak table. His eyes squinted as the bright screen flashed violently. Brendon stirred in his sleep as Ryan took a few pictures on his phone. He could tell Brendon was waking up, his deep snoring stopped and he was constantly moving. Eventually he ended up with his head on Ryan’s chest, Brendon rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Morning Ryan, sorry for kind of sleeping on you,” He let out a content sigh and grabbed a bottle of water. Ryan stretched out his long arms and sat up.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind,” He grinned and headed to brush his teeth. Brendon quickly did the same thing, after proposing the idea of pancakes. Ryan eagerly agreed as he leaped down the stairs.

They sat together on the couch with the white noise of the television buzzing in their ears. After they had finished their pancakes, they shared memes on their phone and had a normal chat. Brendon’s mom interrupted them with an idea. “Y’know you guys could go out today!” Ryan quickly accepted the idea with a cheerful nod. Brendon exchanged glances with him as they decided upon a final decision. “There’s lovely restaurants in the town centre, I’ll give you some money boys.”

“Oh, It’s okay Mrs Urie. You don’t have to give me any money; you’ve done more than enough by letting me stay here.”

“Don’t be silly,” She chucked, “having your company is lovely, I don’t mind giving you money!” Mrs Urie smiled as she handed Ryan $50.

“Let’s go get ready then!” Brendon grinned as he excitedly ran upstairs. “I’ve got some clothes you can wear,” He shouted. Ryan flinched at the loud shouting, growing up he always hated shouting, even before his dad started to abuse him. His dad would usually have screaming wars with his mom; no matter what, it would end in his mom crying and Ryan trying his best to comfort her. He was only young, he couldn't do much about it.

Twenty minutes had passed, they were both completely ready and went out. “Mom! We’re going now,” He yelled, waiting for his mother’s response.

“Okay, remember to be safe!” Mrs Urie scrambled to grab her phone as they left. She dialled the police’s number to tell them about Ryan’s dad. Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Hello ma'am, what are you calling us for?” They answered; she went on to explain about his situation (In extreme detail) for almost an hour straight.

“Thanks for your report, we’ll send the police around there now and hopefully remove any harmful substances from the house.”

“Thank you so much, goodbye.” With that being said, they hung up and presumably got to work.

Brendon and Ryan were in the town centre now; they walked the streets together, hands occasionally grazing each other. They eventually entered a small restaurant tucked in the corner of a street. Two lengthy hours sharing conversation and eating lunch.

Once they had finished their meals, Brendon had called the waiter over and paid for the food.

“How about we head to the restroom quickly and then go home?” He suggested with a small smile on his face as he admired Ryan. He replied with a mini nod and smiled back at him.

Brendon was washing his hands in the marble sink as Ryan stared at him. He grabbed a few paper towels, drying his hands off. Straight after, they left the restaurant, feeling content.

“That was a really good meal!” Ryan beamed but was abruptly cut off by a man in all black + a mask attack Brendon. He was put in a headlock and had a gun put to his head; it wasn’t a busy street and the restaurant windows were tinted. No one would see.

“GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!” The man barked. Brendon whimpered as he couldn’t reach his pockets and stared at Ryan for help. He proceeded to punch the man square in the face. He couldn’t stand to watch Brendon be hurt any longer.

“Fuck off; don’t ever threaten us again.” Ryan growled as he scrammed. Brendon had tears in his eyes, frozen in shock. He engulfed him in a hug, Brendon only responded by resting his head on Ryan’s shoulder.

He rubbed his back and sighed. They stayed like that for a good minute until Ryan cupped his cheeks and wiped his glistening tears away. Their eyes were locked onto each other as they breathed deeply. Brendon slowly leaned closer and just before he could pull away; Ryan’s lips collided with Brendon’s. It was a sweet caring kiss, nothing but care and affection.

A moment was spent with Brendon longingly looking into Ryan’s hazel eyes. Suddenly, Brendon pulls back and pushes him away, a new-found rage filling his pupils.

“Ryan, boys can’t love boys,” He said as he ran away, shouting at Ryan to not follow him.

The bus was due in 3 minutes.

Brendon ran like his life depended on it; his lungs felt as if they were collapsing. His feet were on fire, he finally reached the bus stop just as it arrived. The bus hissed as the air brakes were being used. The double doors swung open as Brendon eagerly ran inside and raced to the back of the bus.

His hands traced designs on the polyester fabric of the bus seats. Thoughts raced through his mind at a 1000mph. Brendon couldn’t get Ryan out of his head. Every thought or idea was centred around him.

Shit.

He didn’t like Ryan. He couldn’t! His mum simply would disown him, she’s the most religious person he’d ever met. She would NEVER let Brendon see Ryan again. But, did Brendon actually have feelings for him?

The way his stomach gets butterflies whenever he thinks of him. The way a light dusty blush brushes his cheeks whenever they touch. The way he admired every movement Ryan made.

Fuck. He wasn’t just simply in love. He was head over heels. He had to tell someone, it had to be Ryan.

His mind wandered, taking him back to a time where his mother had a strong point of view.

~ Flashback ~

“Brendon! Pay attention, young man,” His mother disciplined as he played with his shoe laces.

“Sorry,” He muttered, turning his attention to the boring pastor. The pastor was talking about being homosexual, he didn’t appear to have a very fond opinion of it. Brendon’s mom was so brainwashed by him, she fully believed his opinion on homosexuality was right. It wasn’t; everyone should be accepted for who they are.

In the end, her views were so extreme that homosexuality is the reason they moved. She’d found out that there was quite a few homosexual kids at his school and refused to stay there.

~ End of flashback ~

Brendon had come to a realisation, he was bisexual. Even though his current love interest was a man, he had felt sexual attraction to women as well.

The bus came to a halt. He rushed out of the musty bus and raced to his house. He needed to make things right, but first he needed to know Ryan was ok.

Swinging open the door, he shouted for his mother. “MOM!” He yelled in a frightened tone.

“What is wrong? Where’s Ryan?” Brendon felt a sickening sensation form in his stomach at the small mention of the boy.

Ryan sat cross-legged on the sidewalk, tears flew down his face as he thought of Brendon. How could he just ditch him like that? He thought that Brendon was there for him after the incident with his dad. Oh, that was another thing to sob about. His shitty father. Why did he have to end up like this? Ryan reminisced on all his memories with his mother, tears increasing their quantity.

He did know one thing that would make him feel better. He knew it wasn’t the best solution, but it would put a temporary stop to his emotion. Cutting himself, that's all he could think to do. The sky had dimmed, now being a dusky grey. Ryan shuffled down the alleyway and yanked the shiny, metal blade out of his pocket. His hands roamed to pull his sleeve up. A few cuts, that's all he needed. He couldn’t seem to stop.

Ruby blood pooled around him and darkness overcame him.

“Mom, I left Ryan in the town centre. We had a slight argument,” Brendon whimpered. He curled up into a ball on the floor and weeped. “Please, go get him,” He pleaded.

Mrs Urie nodded and responded in a soothing voice, “Ok dear, you go upstairs and calm yourself down!” She exited through the front door and started up her car. Brendon dragged his body upstairs and flopped onto his comforting bed, recollection of cuddling up to Ryan washes over him.

After a while, she arrived at her destination. She glanced around the restaurant, Ryan was nowhere to be seen. Un popping her pocket, she grabbed her phone out of her pocket.

To Brendon:

Hey, is (restaurant name) where you went? I can’t s-

Her typing was cut off by her view being attached to a boy in the alleyway. Hurriedly, she scrambled over to him, her heart felt as if it was in her throat. It was Ryan.

“Ryan,” she called out, “I’ve come to get you!”

No response. Dead silence. The blood glimmered in the dull street lights.

“Oh my…” She gasped. Mrs Urie picked up Ryan in her arms and ran as fast as she could to the car.

She frantically propped his body against the leather seats. Her hands rummaged in the back of the car for her first aid kit. A green bag was quickly opened, strings of bandages were pulled out.

Slowly, stretchy bandages were wrapped around Ryan’s wrist, she applied firm pressure as it soaked up his blood. His limp body was put into a more comfortable position, buckling up their seatbelts, she started the car.

Ryan stirred in his slumber, his eyes soon adjusted to the colourful street lights.

“Mrs Urie?” He earned a small gasp out of her mouth.

Shocked and stunned, she replied, “Yes Ryan?”

“Where are you taking me?” He said with his eyebrows knitted into a confused expression.

“Just back to my house,” She said with a friendly smile on her face. She pondered for a moment, then got the courage to express her thoughts. “What happened between you and Bren?”

Several tears were appearing in his eyes, just at the simple mention of the boy. Gosh, he really was in love. It was just a shame his gay realisation had to be so tragic.

Eventually, he spoke up, “Uh, I kissed Brendon,”

“YOU WHAT!” She screeched.

“I don’t even know! It just felt right at the time…” He trailed off.

“You and Brendon are seriously in for it when we arrive at home! And do not even THINK about texting him to warn him!” She scolded. Ryan sat silently for the rest of the ride; he wished the ground beneath him would open up and swallow him whole.

They arrived and to say Ryan was horrified was an understatement. His hands were shaking and his eyes were threatening to spill tears.

“BRENDON! GET HERE NOW!” She squawked. Brendon knew that he was in for it. By the tone of her voice, reminding him of his father, Ryan grew more anxious.

Thundering steps boomed down the staircase as Brendon came rushing down. His eyes bulged out of his head; as he looked at Ryan, a panicked expression spread across his face.

“What happened Ryan?” He blurted with a soft, worried voice.

“You! You don’t care about me,” Ryan yelled, emotion loud in his voice. Brendon stared at him in shock, he felt as if a piece of his heart shattered into a billion pieces.

“Ryan, listen to me!” He pleaded, but Ryan slammed the door and ran to their bathroom. Brendon thought that Ryan hated him; little did he know, Ryan was going through the exact same thought process.

Ryan curled up in the corner of the bathroom, tears didn’t just fall, they were crashing around him. He thought back on wanting the world to swallow him up; he realised he was just suppressing his feelings. Ryan was suicidal.

He balled his fist up and shoved them inside his denim jacket pockets. Something cold pressed against his knuckles.

The blade.

Resisting wasn’t an option, he was overcome with an extreme need. A need his mind said he must fulfil.

However, he found his wrist wasn’t enough this time. He needed more. More blood. More thrill.

More pain.

This urgency for more resulted in him slitting his throat. First, only starting off with small cuts, blood rushing to the surface, but not dribbling onto his skin. The emotion had gotten so intense, he began to cut deeper. Blood rushed down his neck, ruining his shirt and occasionally dripping onto his jacket.

Ryan had started to feel light-headed. He stumbled around the bathroom; fuck, how was he meant to hide this scar. Before even taking any protocols into consideration, he began to clean up. Brendon didn’t have anything to clean cuts with. Of course he didn’t, what was Ryan thinking?

Carefully, his freezing hands pressed the paper towel against his neck. Sucking in a breath - caused by the pain - as it began to sting.

Why didn’t his attempt work? All he wanted was to be gone, he’d thought there was nothing else left for him on Earth. He might as well just die. He thought he was pathetic, that's what drove his passion for pain.

A knock came from the old, creaky door.

“Ryan,” Brendon said firmly. Ryan’s heart leapt out of his chest, he couldn’t face Brendon, at least not now. Quickly, he wiped his teardrops away and tried to steady his voice.

“Yes?” Ryan said, his voice slightly shaky from previous events.

“Come out, please…” His tone was hopeful; all he wanted was for Ryan to come out of the bathroom.

Ryan choked back his tears as he examined his neck in the mirror. “I can’t,” Ryan thought carefully about his response, but nothing was a good enough reason.

“I promise I don’t hate you…” Brendons voice trailed off before he continued. “I actually have some, uh, complicated feelings. I'd like to talk to you about it. But only if it’s alright with you!” He took a huge gulp, awaiting the other boy's reply.

No reply was made. Ryan lowered his head into his knees; he’d never been this bad. He let everything get to him, every comment, every action and most importantly everything. Some things (or people) are better off being shut out.

“I’m coming in Ryan; I can tell you're not okay,” Brendon waited for any final reponses. Finally, he turned the door knob with his hand.

He was speechless, bloody tissues and more cuts on his wrist. But, he hadn’t seen the worst of it yet. Brendon sat opposite Ryan.

He rubbed Ryan’s shoulder comfortingly. He was waiting for some form of eye contact; looking to find meaning and emotion in his eyes. Any form of communication would work, a sign even!

Ryan pricked his head up. Brendons breathing faltered as he saw his neck. Hundreds of thoughts ran through both their minds.

Suddenly, a harsh slap was delivered to Brendon from Ryan. It was all too overwhelming for him. His brain was shutting down and he wasn’t thinking straight.

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” Ryan raised his voice.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE! RYAN, I’M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU!” Brendon felt his eyes rapidly well up.

“Well. Maybe I don’t want your help!” He said, quite a bit quieter this time.

“Clearly, you need someone's help! You can’t go a single fucking day without cutting yourself,” He muttered, Brendon was extremely pissed off by now. He had never been in a situation like this; all he yearned to do was help. Help the special person in his life.

Brendon realised that he shouldn’t have said that, he could’ve just ruined their (complicated) relationship completely. He seemed to snap out of his thoughts when Ryan was sobbing.

Brendon did that. He realised he made Ryan this sad.

“I’m so sorry Ryan, I wasn’t thinking! I didn’t mean it,” He apologised, Ryan meant so much to him. How could he do that to him?

“Go away,” Ryan sniffled. “I hate you,” He wept. Brendon knew he didn’t actually mean it. Even Ryan knew he didn’t mean it. Ryan had also come to the realisation that he did in fact need help.

Brendon stayed sat opposite him. He was lost for words; he had no idea what to do. He stayed silent, wishing that Ryan would say something first.

Fortunately, his wish came true. Ryan finally spoke up after what felt like an hour of silence - in reality it was less than a minute.

“Bren,” His cheeks dusted a pink shade at the pet name. “I need help,” He said and took a gulp of courage.

Brendon took Ryan’s hand in his hand. “Y’know I’d get you any help you needed,” He told him, maintaining a calm eye contact.

“All I need is you,” Ryan sighed softly; finding a sudden surge of confidence. Their eyes were like gravitational pulls towards each other; not leaving their view.

Brendon pulled Ryan into a deep, passionate kiss. Breath slightly shaky as their lips parted.

“When I left, I realised that I’m in love with you…” Brendon blurted. His cheeks burned a bright pink hue.

“I guess it’s true,” Ryan snickered, the other boy just stared, confused.

“What?” He questioned, trying to think of the answer, mind blanking.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,”

—

A/N That is the end of this oneshot! Hope you enjoyed it! Fun fact: this was based off of something I wrote in class :p

[sterekbros]

You and I Collide (13.6k) for @evanesdust

Written for the Summer 2023 @sterek-exchange Event

@sterekbingo square forever, @sterekweekly pillow, @warmandfluffybingocards pillow fort

The one where Barista Stiles propositions Alpha Derek to be the nanny for his kids, especially since Derek went through so many candidates that Stiles thought there weren't any more for him to interview.

Stiles looked at the long line and sighed as Scott rang up another person. He really hated the lunch rush. Who the hell needed coffee in the afternoon? Really. Wouldn't it mess up their sleep schedule later that night? Well… at least it would mess up his. But coffee affected Stiles a little differently than some people because of his ADHD.

He took the receipt from Scott and looked at it. “Another Caramel Macchiato? They know that this isn't Starbucks, right?” 

Scott shrugged. “Sorry, man. I mean, we know how to make them, right? Let’s just do it so we don't have to hear them complain about it.”

Stiles sighed and grumbled his displeasure under his breath. He really hated dealing with the people and their special drinks, but that was why he wasn't working the register. Stiles would rather make the coffee than deal with people. At least, not the people that wanted a million things done to their coffee rather than taking it black, regular, or at least some kinda cold brew that wasn't too crazy. 

He’d learned more about coffee than he ever thought he would have over the last few months. And he really needed this job, because he was taking a year (or two) off before he was going to college because he needed the money for his tuition. 

Thankfully his dad said he could stay at home while he worked on saving money for school, so he didn't have to pay rent or worry about bills — which meant all his money was going into savings. Unfortunately, Stiles didn't really make that much making coffee. It was better than minimum wage, but at this rate, he might have to take a few years off before he enrolled at the local university.

He finished a few coffees and called a few names, setting the cups on the counter for people to pick up. It was done all on autopilot, which was how Stiles’ day went most of the time. After heating up and handing another customer a sandwich, he turned around to look out into the space, seeing that the line had died down and their lunch rush was over.

Which meant he could check out the hot dude that had come in almost every day for the last week. 

Mr. Honey-Almondmilk-Flat-White-with-Whipcream. 

He was the only person that Stiles wanted to ring up at the register because it was really the only time that Stiles ever got to talk to him. Stiles melted when the dude smiled or even looked at him with those pretty hazel eyes, which were always different colors each time Stiles had seen him come in the last week.

Scott always poked fun at him when their shift was over because of his crush and he really wished sometimes that he didn't work with his best friend. Scott was never going to let him live it down when Stiles’ crush went nowhere and the dude ended up not coming back at some point.

Over the week, Stiles noticed that he’d met with several people a day, and with enough eavesdropping, he’d learned that he was interviewing people for a live-in nanny position that came with not only a budget but a nice salary. 

The kids were four-year-old twins and Stiles wondered what happened to their mother since he hadn't heard anything about a second parent during his eavesdropping sessions. 

He cleaned the counter and sanitized a few pitchers before leaning against the counter and pointedly ignoring Scott who was trying to poke fun at him for watching the latest disaster of an interview. 

The woman left and the dude looked defeated, which Stiles hated. He grabbed a pitcher and poured almond milk in it, whipping up a honey almond milk flat white with little effort and poured it into a cup before putting a lid on it.

Stiles shook his head and pushed Scott’s hand away when Scott tried to stop him. He really tried to make it casual, but there was no way that the dude wouldn't know that Stiles had been watching because of what he was about to do, especially since Stiles had memorized his drink.

“Hey,” Stiles said carefully, smiling when those eyes he wanted to lose himself in looked up at him. 

“I figured you needed a pick me up after that last one.” He handed him the cup and when Mr. Honey-Almondmilk-Flat-White-with-Whipcream took the drink, Stiles sat across from him in the cushy chair he usually took his break in.

The dude sniffed it and then took a sip. “You know my order…”

“Well, yeah. You’ve been ordering it for like, the last week when you’ve been in here.” Stiles smiled and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’m Stiles.”

“Derek,” came the short response. Derek put his coffee down on a small table next to him. “Thank you for the drink. Is there something I can do for you, Stiles?”

There were several things Stiles wanted Derek to do to him, but he managed to refrain from offering since that wasn't the reason he was over here. Any other day though, Stiles would be jumping at the opportunity to get into Derek’s pants.

“You have a position open for a nanny…” Stiles watched Derek carefully and Derek’s features were schooled, but Stiles could tell he was curious because his eyes spoke more than he must realize. “And I wanted to interview for it.”

“You… be a nanny.” Derek’s words sounded disbelieving, yet amused at the same time.  But it wasn't a question. 

continue on A03!

[ilikemyteawithmilk]

I tried writing a fanfiction after a while :3

Also I know Al is Ace. Since Asexuality is a spectrum I took some research into that matter and used one interpretation in here. He is more Demi romantic asexual though. hope thats okay

Alastor didn't know what consequences this ritual would hold.

Looking back at it when he first arrived in Hell, he would do in again in a Heartbeat.

Looking back at his Deal now, with all the constraints, with how he has to fiddle around his Masters orders, he does regret not having thought about a backdoor clause.

But than again, he was just a child when he killed the rabbit, and used it's blood to draw the circle in the snow. Just a child when his father shoved his mother to the floor, and punched him a black eye when he dared walk towards her. Just a child, that wished his father would simply die.

Funny, it was so cold outside, and this rabbits blood was so warm.

It wasn't that difficult to draw a summoning circle on the Ground. This Book that the old lady gave him had all the instructions. In his defense he couldn't understand everything thats written in there as he rarely looked presentable and unbrused enough to go to school, and therefor still had trouble reading. But even experienced readers would have trouble with the cursive in this Book. The Lady clearly wrote this in a hurry. Despite her poor calligraphy he liked her. She had a shop a couple streets away and claimed to be a Witch. Though the others called her a Lunatic, it didn't went unnoticed to him that she often seemed to look younger than the day before.

Once the circle was complete, and the Spell was spoken, young Alastor expected to have Lucifer, the Devil himself appear in front of him and offer to kill his Dad in exchange of his Soul. But faith rarely acts as one expects does it?

No, the entity he made a feal with was less powerful than Lucifer. But far, far more sinister, and a tad more cruel. But Al didn't mind at all. Because instead of Killing his father, his new Friend as The Entity introduced themselves, they offered Alastor some 'ways' to deal with this Drunk himself. And put his new found powers to use. _____________________________________________

A decate later young Alastor just exited a Radio Station where he applied for an Internship. He was humming a song that just played inside, wearing a big smile on his face. He has behaved his best, displayed all his charisma and manners. He was sure to hear from them soon. 'Ah, what a delightful day' he thought. The wind was a refreshing chill against the warm summer heat. He did enjoy the interview, his mother always said he had a way with people. And he did could never get enough of his own coice, so reaching, and influencing, people as a Radio host was a given.

While walking through this ever growing town in the best suit he could afford, he slowly strolled from the mansions, to the apartments, and finally to the slums he and his mother called their home. Never would he admit that he spent a big part of his live in poverty, never behaved or dressed like that either. What would that even bring. He still looked down at the beggars, at the prostitutes, at the drunks. His mother and him never would have lived with theese people If his wretched failure of a father would have been able to hold a job for a week or more, or if he didn't spent all their money on cheap booze.

Al came home and locked the door, quickly getting out of his tailored suit as to not ruin it with dish soap, or stain it with what he plans on doing later that night.

"I'm Home" he announces, Opening the door to his Mother's room and walking to her bed. A quick glance to the empty Glass of water and the half empty Bowl of Soup indicate that she ate. This time. "Good." He whisperes, scared of waking her, but still testing if she's not to far gone into her dreamworld. He quietly refills her Glass and stealthily exits the Room, quiet as a Mouse.

Opening the Pantry, he let's out a deep sigh. Bread, some moldy Carrots, and not enough rice to feed the both of them. But that's okay, he planned on going hunting anyways. And most of the time he does return with something.. more than edible.

_____________________________________

"Have you added enough sage dear?"

"yes Grandma, " you sigh. "And enough Cow blood, and not to much " wait how much wolfsbane was to much?" you laugh as a display of horror grows in her face "A joke a joke Im joking" you laugh while stirring the Pot. Potion Making was never your strong suite, but you where no amateur. Witchcraft was a Family business, and you were an excellent apprentice.

"Yeah keep on laughing, but when our Client comes back and wears a pitchfork with his blue warts and Lizard eyes I will grill a Sandwich on the sltar they burn you on"

Now the both of you were laughing. Witches haven't been caught in centuries, and the small coven of you and your two Grandma's isn't big enough, or suspicious enough to get caught. just two Old ladies who raise their Granddaughter together. Well, in theory Marlene was not your grandmother, but as long as Grandma loved her you will too. "Grandma, Pitchforks? really? " "They used those to hunt us back in the day! didn't forget the time one of those idiotic Farmers threw one of those at me." she winked. "That man became a nice and warm Furcoat for xou when you were a baby you know? "

Another laugh escaped you while pouring the potion into a small vial. Autumn's with your Gramdma are always the best part of the Year. A nice escape from your modern life with your Mom, and a welcome to get back to your Roots.

"Why would that man need a potion of strength anyways?" you wondered. "He's scared someone might kill him. And eat his remains for dinner" A sinister smile on her lips. "Wouldn't he than rather need a protection Talisman? or a Rune on his front door to sanction his House?" your Granny's smile grew. "Sold, sold and sold. Oh those cowards have always been my favorite clients. Poor Soul lives alone with his Dog. When he comes in to pick up his order I'll offer him a talisman for the dog too. Cute thing. a German Shepherd. From it's fur we could brew some fine Lycantrophy antidote" "Grandma, you know as good as I tha- really? I thought Australian Shepherds had better Fur for those?" She giggled and gave you a small slap with the Broom "just testing you my little raven of the night! Don't want you to loose all your wits while beeing away from me"

Again, both of you giggle. While you do your work for a while, filling two more Viols with the Potion and stealthily cleaning the counter where you spilled two drops, you wonder, and ask "Hey Grandma, Why is that man so scared?"

"ouuuuhuiii" She barely can contain her grin and walks other to you, using the Broom as a cane. "haven't you heard it yet? " you raise an Eyebrow, mentally going through all the things she told you since picking you up on the Trainstation merely 4 Hours ago. "We. have. a. Serial Killer in New Orleans" joyfully like a teen cousin who just told you about her crush of the week. "Marlene and I have restricted each other in scrying about who it is, but we are fairly sure they must be young and charming, the way the crimes are comited, oh" She takes a bite out of the air and moans as if eating the most delicious strawberry parfait she has ever tasted, then giggles misheviously. "It's mostly the same old scheme. Once or twice a month, a scream appears, than several more. Theese screams go on for a couple Minutes, but never enough for anyone to trace where exactly they come from. just the direction of the forest." This time, grandma interrupts to actually eat a Cookie, after chewing it painfully long, tasteing the suspense she's creating, she continues. "When police searchey the forest, they always find drops of fresh blood on several places, up to 300 feet apart. They usually never find the Victim, or their remains. Though last time they did find a Pinky finger and a piece of liver." You wrinkle your face. Ew. But the fact that the killer left traces last time means that they grew less cautious. That amused you. Most serial Killers where narcissists after all, and it wasn't unusual for them to make mistakes when they though no one could ever catch them. This brought a smile to your face, and your Grandma took it the wrong way. "Should I peek a look into the crystal ball and see if they're available for courting? "

Before you could correct your Grandma, the bell rang as Marlene opened the door and entered the shop. "Ah ah ah, no peeking my Spiderleg, we won't spoil our game will we? " The thin Woman Dropped her Bag and took off her flat Black hat. First she gave your Grandma a small peck on the cheek before coming up to you. "Come here little dove of doom. How have you been? how was the train ride? how is your stomach doing after the long time apart from my good cooking?" You embrace Marlene in a tight hug and answere her Questions with a smile on your Lips. Marlene's cooking was the best you ever had. You're not a hundred percent convinced she wasn't casting spells on it to increase the flavor though. Than she spoke the words you were afraid to hear since last year, and your stummic dropped to your feet.

"Are you ready for the Ritual tonight?"

Are you? You should be. You have been prepared for this. You have weighed the consequences, You could live as a Normal Human like your Mother choose. Or you Choose Magic.

"I. I think I am." "Have you decided on a Demon yet?" "She should pic one of the Sins. I picked an Ars Goetia and look where that left me." Your Grandmother exclaimed, still swiping the floor on the exact same spot. "My powers are great, but I'm nearly 250 years old, and already look like I'm close to the Grave." "You and I both know your age and appearance isn't determined by the demon, but by our use of magic. Play nurse for some more children, get some vials of their blood and you will look like 170 in no time" Marlene said smoothly while putting a hand on your shoulder. "We don't have to-" "I am ready. And I have choosen. I just need to reread the Spell for tonight." You interrupt her. " to chant it correctly you know? I left My book about Demonology at home so Kalista could read it, to ease her nerves. May I use yours?" You quicky glimpse at your Grandmother while fiddling with your necklace. You have been so sure when you packed your Bags yesterday, when you entered the train, even when you took a seat and started to mentally go through simpel spells. Only when you saw the look of worry in yours Mom's eyes as the train departured did your confidence stutter, and your insecurities grew. "Pah, Kalista should have rather visited us aswell. Support her big sister with such a big step" Granny's swiping grew more aggressive. "She will come when, and only if she's ready spiderweb." Marlene baisicly floated over to your grandmother with how light her steps where. She took Granny's chin in her hand and slightly tilted it up. "not everyone wishes for the life we share, but that doesn't mean we won't enjoy it the best we can"

You did love Marlene for the way she made your Grandma loose her track of thought and her temper. How one bewitched the other without spells just with a look.

After a few moments of you puting the vials, two talismans and a parchment with the correct Rune in a small Box, you cleared your throat.

"The book?"

"Oh.What book?"

You sigh.

"The book about Demonology?"

silence

"The Book I need for Tonights ritual?"

silence.

"Your Book about Demonology wich I need to lend in Order to fullfill my Ritual and keep my powers even After my 6999 Day on earth?"

Both you and Marlene stare and Your Grandma.

"Spide-" "I gave it away."

This time, the silence came from you and Marlene

"Look, there was A boy, always covered in Bruises and.. I .. My contract stated that I was to be mishevious! and I thought a little chaos, a little...well he never did anything with it though!? stleast his Parents never contacted me, and just last week I saw him buying whisky in the"

"Buying Whisky?" Marlene shook her head, letting go off your Grandma to look her in the Eyes. "yes." "I thought you gave the book to a child. "well yes. About ten years ago. Maybe eleven."

Both you and Marlene were speechless. To be fair, none of you really kept the whole 'beeing a witch' thing this secret. Wearing long Robes, collecting herbes, openly cuddling black Cats.. but your Grandma always had to be extra. Going as far as to tell kids how she would have grilled Hansel and Gretel instead of baking them. But giving away a Spellbook to strangers, that was could have consequences. For all three ou you. "He clearly didn't do anything! I'm sure the book is just dusting Away in his Attic! I can Summon it ! I just need.. " she left the room. You could hear her rummaging through her storage, angry huffs and puffs when whatever she was searching for wasn't where she expected it to be. Meanwhile Marlene came over to you. Picking up her bag on the way there. "I brought you something Applepie. It might be a bit early, and a bit old fashioned, but tradition is tradition." She took out a black, simple pointy hat, with a ribbon in your favorite color. You thanked her and took her into a tight embrace. Marlene was a treasure you intended to keep in your life.

"Aha! found it!" Granny re-emerged with just the right tool. A piece of paper. "A spell to summon what one once lost. If you need it back no matter the cost. Just chant its Name, with hope in mind. And the Object you will find. My Book of Demonology" She spoke in singsang. It was odd that your Grandma didn't now the spell by heart. given how easy It was, and how often she lost her belongings. But after some moments and a fine Orange glow the Book appeared howering in front of her. "Ahaha! there you are! ihihihi!" She was practically glowing and smiling, it faded a little while she took it in her hands, but her expression was still happy. "oh, eell you do look a but worn out? And youre cold. Have you been kept outside? Dumb boy must have kept you in an outside shed rather then a nice dusty bookshelf in the attic huh?" She shifted her Fokus back to you and handed the book over. "here Pumpkinpie, the Book should contain all the information your copy had. Go on and learn a little, it's almost midnight already" she wore a Soft smile now. gazing into your Eyes. "We will start at 03:00 o'clock. Witching hour." You noded and made your way up to your room. Eagerly putting on the Hat and flipping through the pages to the demon of your Choice.

Back in the shop, Marlene and Your Grandma Shared a sigh, looking after their little girl practically running up the stairs. "Are you sure he didnt do anything with the book?" Marlene asked, having a sense of foreboding. Granny took Marlene's Hand in hers and squeezed a little. "Ah, don't worry dearest, I'm sure he wouldn't even notice.

But Alastor did notice. This was Bad. Very Bad