#I will talk about the blorbos and nobody can stop me

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Hold on. I've just realised something...

[deep-space-lines]

can't wait til I start this stupid job so I won't have to be doing commissions all the fucking time to buy groceries, this shut sucks the joy out of art so much. I wanna be drawing ultrakill stuff & personal art & doing crafts & reading books but every time I sit down to do something for me I'm thinking about the fact that I should be doing commissions. I'm so glad I didn't go into art as an actual career, I would hate myself so much forever

[andiv3r]

Sometimes I see something that reminds me that other people are using this website in a drastically different way from how I am

[pinky-in-blankets]

This is my blog and I'm fixing to be insufferable actually.

[danmeichael]

Can u talk about why JC is your fave

jiang cheng was not my favorite character for a long time. specifically, i actively disliked him when i first watched the donghua.

a turning point, funny enough, was actually the scene in the donghua where he chokes wwx. which i think says a lot about me... much like that scene says a lot about jc.

that was a scene that really humanized jc for me and showcased really clearly what he was in that moment. a lost child, a helpless child desperately vying for any amount of control through violence and lashing out at those around him because of it.

i like when characters do that -- when they hurt the people around them in moments of weakness without really meaning it.

you know when a character asks a loved one to run an errand for them, and something terrible happens while they're running that errand? maybe their loved one gets into a car accident and dies, for example. and instead of blaming the conditions on the road that caused that, the other driver in the accident, the hospital for not saving them, they think "if only i hadn't asked them to go out?"

it's because it's smaller. it's easier to conceptualize that blame, it's easier to grasp guilt or to place fault on a single, knowable entity.

reality isn't like that. there is no one singular point of fault. it's not their fault, not really. but a single point of failure is easier to conceptualize, to cope with, more satisfying in the moment than "sometimes things just happen"

jiang cheng doesn't hate wei wuxian, he isn't really mad at wei wuxian for saving lan wangji. or rather, he won't be when he's calm or in hindsight.

but he needs something manageable to be angry at. he needs something smaller, some neat, easy solution this all stems from that he could say "this wouldn't have happened, if--"

he doesn't really blame wwx. but in addition to... everything, wwx is also the one stopping him in that moment from doing the thing he could do to, his monkey brain thinks, exert control and make it hurt less.

this is wwx's fault. this is wwx's fault, because he saved lan wangji, because he wouldn't let him go back to try to save his parents, because he wouldn't let him try to get revenge. but it's not, really. and deep down, he knows that. he knows the wens would have come for them eventually whether wwx saved lwj or not. he knows he could not have saved his parents. he knows that he would have died trying to get revenge and left jyl and wwx alone. he knows there's nothing he, or wei wuxian could have done.

but being out of control while you're in pain is scary. so he lashes out. because he can control being mad. because he can hurt wei wuxian. because he needs something, anything in that moment to feel like he isn't spinning out and about to crash.

i think that violent ugliness in response to his own suffering is compelling.

that sort of added onto the endless "what if" pursuit common of fandom, after finishing the novel and finding that jc and wwx were still estranged. logically, that was the best possible ending. them suddenly getting along at the end of the book for a happy ending wouldn't have made sense for either of their characters. them making up in a way i found satisfying would have taken another 2 english volumes and circumstances i can't even imagine, and mxtx might not have even written it in a way that i found satisfying even under the theoretical that she did devote an entire additional novel to making it happen.

but that ambiguous, unwritten, theoretical making up that exists in my minds eye haunts me.

even after all that, i still didn't *like* jc. he was compelling, i appreciated him as a mechanism in the narrative, but he wasn't my blorbo. i didn't *like* him in the way i *like* other favorite characters.

no, no. the real catalyst is that nobody who dislikes jiang cheng dislikes him for the right reasons and it pissed me off so bad that i became protective over him.

there's plenty of good reasons to hate jiang cheng but you're just MAKING UP ONES that DO NOT EXIST and IGNORING ALL OF HIS INTERESTING CHARACTER WRITING.

what do you MEAN he doesn't love his brother?! what do you MEAN he only warmed to jyl's marriage because he came to see her as a political pawn and didn't actually love her either?! what do you MEAN he should have just been GRATEFUL that wwx surgically placed his entire fucking martyr complex into jc's body while ACTIVELY LYING TO HIM ABOUT IT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S A MISOGYNIST? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S *COLORIST*????? AM I FUCKING LOSING IT????????? DID I READ A DIFFERENT FUCKING BOOK??????????????

being so pissed off by incorrect analysis of his character made me think about him as a character, his nuances, his relationships with his family and his position of power.

there's no specific trait or scene or thing about him that makes him my favorite. he's just a good shape. he clicks into my brain in a good way.

[qqueenofhades]

Hey! I just found your blog and followed yesterday. Came for the fact that you're the only other person in this webbed site actually say out loud that they liked Biden, stayed for the hope and determination and perspective. Anyway just wanted to introduce myself and I hope you're coping well!

Hello and welcome to you and the other sudden flood of followers that I got after yesterday's event. I'm glad to have you and hope you are all in on the project of Kicking Fascism In The Shriveled Testicles 2024, American Edition. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Biden was not my first choice (far from it) in the 2020 primary process, but when it became clear that he was going to win the nomination, I supported him early and often. Trust me, this was not a popular position, and it remains so, but so be it. By any reasonable metric, he is the most progressive president we have ever had, it is a crying shame that the media is so beholden to the Trump Teat of Drama that they gave him such a kid-gloved free pass and ratfucked Biden instead, and it makes me worry, a lot, for American democracy. I have always gotten a lot of "you support everything Biden has done so you're awful and going to hell!!!" messages, because this sure is a Webbed Site Where We Piss On the Poor, and like -- I don't. I had major disagreements with Biden, especially on foreign policy! But because I apparently did not performatively self-flagellate myself in every post about how awful he was but maybe I guess vote for him anyway, that got some people very mad! It's also true that there's literally nobody in the world anywhere, especially and including in Palestine, that would benefit from Trump becoming president again! Especially since Biden at the NATO summit recently and explicitly endorsed progress on the ceasefire framework he has been pushing for several months! So unfortunately, we live in a society where shitty choices are necessary, and that is part of being a grownup!

....anyway. Deep breaths. Rant for later. Glad you're here. I have been desperately trying to Not Politic for a bit, since doing so on social media in the year of our lord 2024 is a recipe for swift insanity, but the world keeps taking a large dump directly on those plans, and I guess someone's gotta do it. In more normal times (OH LORD WHEN), you can expect history (I am an academic by trade), random posts, various asks, and sometimes a great deal of fanfic for assorted blorbos, though the Horrors have done a number on that and I am also working on an original fantasy trilogy at the moment. (Still deciding whether I should bother trying to agent it or just publish it on Amazon/Lulu/etc.) I have turned off anon for the moment because otherwise my inbox would be a nightmare beyond comprehension, but I do generally enjoy talking about things and/or answering them as much as I can. I am old, queer, tired, fueled by coffee and spite, have been politically conscious since the first Bush Jr. term and have therefore seen all the Anti Voting nonsense before (quick thought: if it was going to deliver the perfect Leftist Messiah and/or stop a flawed candidate from becoming president, don't you think it would have done so by now?) So yes. Welcome again and I hope you will enjoy (if that is the right word for it) your stay.

[olderthannetfic]

Nearly 75% of fic on AO3 has less than 5 reader comments. Can we please acknowledge that lack of engagement in a positive fashion is the norm in fandom and that writers are expected to work for nothing in return yet readers are allowed to be entitled?

The source of my number

https://www.tumblr.com/transholmes/738776926733336576/and-even-those-numbers-on-the-lower-end-are

--

Hahahahaha.

Oh, anon.

Okay, first of all, I just posted a bunch of graphs showing exactly this, so not only am I well aware of it, but you also clearly don't read my tumblr much and are just here because some friend of yours is upset that I responded negatively to them about their dumb bookmarking opinions.

Second and more importantly...

No, no one is expected to do anything.

That's crazypants influencer talk where you think your hobbies are jobs that you have no choice about doing.

I suppose I do expect fans to have something at least marginally worthwhile to say—or else I'll block them for being whiny little bitches who make my day dumber as well as less amusing.

But mostly, what I expect is that people will do hobbies because they are fun. If I ever decide that writing fic is too boring, I will stop.

I write because it's fun.

I write original work for money too, and if you want to read that, you're going to have to pay Amazon your cold, hard cash. But I still do it because I enjoy the actual act of writing... at least a lot of the time.

What I see in the bookmark boo-hooing is a bunch of people who haven't noticed the last eighty thousand rounds of this same dumb wank and who not only expect to get the last word but expect that somehow I'm going to signal boost it on my tumblr as that... a tumblr known for contentious debates and nobody ever getting the last word till everyone's exhausted and never wants to hear about paper plates or beans again.

I also see that some of the thinnest-skinned people have fic patreons.

Now, I chose not to bring this up before because it sounds a bit below the belt in that "And thus you're morally impure and thus I can ignore your argument" way... But it's a consistent pattern in these conversations over time, and I do think it's relevant. The biggest sensitive babies are always the ones most afraid of bad reviews but also low engagement, and I think it's because they're caught in some half-pro, half-not limbo where they want the best of both worlds but keep getting the worst of both.

If you behave like a professional who is owed compensation, you can expect a more professional style of response to your work.

And what does the pro world look like? Radio silence. The occasional harsh review. Nobody caring why you wanted to write X or why you couldn't finish Y on time.

If you're here to socialize, you should look for a beta or a couple of good friends who like your blorbos and your style of fic, and then you can squee together about what you've written. It may not come in the form of visible AO3 comments. It may be in private chat.

In some cases, it may just be friends you can talk to about your writing but who aren't actually going to read it. I have plenty of friends who read different things than what I write.

That's what socializing and hobbies look like, dude.

It's fine to point out that many writers do get discouraged by low comment counts and then stop, so if I, as a reader in a fandom, want more, it behooves me to befriend writers and make them feel good.

But at the same time, writers get discouraged or move on to the next fandom all the time for all kinds of reasons. If the critical mass and the zeitgeist aren't there, then they aren't.

Do your hobbies for reasons internal to you.

If the main point is external validation, get into BDSM and find someone excited to indulge your praise kink. It will work a lot better than chasing fame via art.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

omg i didn't expect a fic??? and it's so cute???? and getting to witness firsthand his social awkwardness complete with security being called....bby...

i could also see him texting you throughout the day if he does want to say something....or if he's having trouble sleeping he'll write you a little email, telling you his favorite part of the day, or something your rambling made him think of

i didn't mean omegaverse!konig (though he seems very omega to me???) i meant that one of the things i would talk to him about would be that omegaverse as we know it started in the Supernatural fandom. he's not going to tell me to stop talking!

you also posted something about him loving reading...so he's also going to get the Fifty Shades is Twilight Fanfiction speech.

now i'm thinking about him writing you or sending you stuff when he wants to get more physical in your relationship...he'll write about your blorbos cuddling before he works up the nerve to ask you for a snuggle. he's on deployment and he's writing you smut. write him some hurt/comfort with a blorbo that is clearly him and he's a goner

(no pressure to do anything with this! just wanted to share the brainworms and got a little rambly :)))

tw: some allusions to sexual content, NSFW MDNI 18+

Okay I’m finally getting to this, and I (mostly) agree! I have many thoughts on this. Like, wouldn’t he be the type to write little notes for you to find around the house? I totally think he would. He is absolutely that type. Like, imagine finding little sticky notes in your lunches and reading them at work? Finding little sheets tacked to a shelf telling you that he used up the last of the cereal so he’s gone to get more. Or or or imagine that he’s angry about something and he just texts you paragraphs going on about how his soldiers are idiots and nobody understands him and he wants to strangle someone but he can’t so he just stands there angrily and it scares everyone. He keeps texting you that everyone seems scared of him and he doesn’t know why so you have to tell him to take a deep breath and relax, and not five minutes later he texts you saying that things are better but he doesn’t know why people are nicer now. You still can’t really explain how scary he is, so you just have to play it off.

On another note,  I see König as a total literature snob, so I think you’d unleash a monster if you talk to him about Twlight and 50 Shades. That’s the Pandora’s box of König. He doesn’t talk, but then that one thing comes up and he goes off. Like sure, he’s quiet, but he has these moments where he is the best conversation partner ever. He’ll talk as much as you let him, and he’ll listen to your every word. He is a very active participant in that conversation. He has many words about Stephanie Meyers, too. He is very passionate about the subject. Is it slightly incredible to see such a reserved man become so passionate about teen literature’s affects on how young men and women form relationships in adulthood? Yes absolutely. He also has very good points. It’s kinda wild until you realize that when he’s deployed, his ‘downtime’ (a laughable concept when deployed but we’ll work with it) he’s reading whatever he can get his hands on. He’s a reading monster. But also this makes him a snob so be weary of that.

Oh, and in terms of omegaverse, it would be so awkward to explain it at first. He just would not get it in the beginning. He would sit and watch you silently, squinting until he eventually wraps his head around it. After that he will very happily listen. Hell, if you need ideas and help for your fanfic, he’ll be right there as your editor. Like, he’ll be right there for you. All the time. Sometimes he’ll urge you to write more just so he can read more. He’s that interested. It’s nice, and also very helpful.

Discussions of smut under the cut

Finally, yes he would write smut. It’s so funny because when he writes, it’s passionate and intense. It’s all encompassing and overwhelming and they get you so excited for him to return only for him to be kinda… Soft. He’s not great at dirty talk. Really bad, actually. Like, he can talk a big game, but when it comes down to it? Not so great. He tries though. He’s getting better! But he keeps trying to wax poetic when you just want him to call you his little whore? Like, I don’t want to be compared to a mourning dove in may, I want to be called your cum slut, thank you. That’s how bad he is. But he is getting better. He’s so confused though. He doesn’t understand why you actually want him to call you that. Sure he can write those letters that get you all riled up, but in person? Wouldn’t you want him to be soft and sweet? No? Well, he can accommodate. 

He’s a big sweety all in all. Like, he’s a military man. He’s not an uwu soft boy, but he knows how to write and he’s romantic in how he leaves little notes. He’s a stoic man who will nod along when you speak and give an occasional affirmative nod or polite question. When you get onto his topics of interest, he’ll be quite animated but still controlled, ever the good colonel. However, get him on the subject of Teen Lit and he turns into a monster because he thinks it’s damaging young readers. Not the porn part, but writing really bad love interests. He does have a point. Dark fiction is very important, but teaching young girls that Edward was the correct love interest was a mistake. And then it led to 50 Shades? Ugh it got even worse.

Anyways, thank you so much for the ask, and I hope you take care! Please remember my asks are always open!

[sonyshock]

From the first mlp Anon:

I saw ya said it was for cons. Any tips for an artist wanting to get into a con? I wanna try to sell my stuff and maybe youd have some ideas or something?

My dear anon, let me tell you a story...

A long time ago it was that Spain started holding cons that had Artist Alleys. I got into multiple of them for free and with some priority. I absolutely loved the experience. The responsibility of talking to customers and selling gave me enough energy to be 2 days without eating and I was so happy. ... Then I moved to USA and I did not have the needed papers or geographic location to participate in any for... way too long. I only got to attend cons as a customer again in recent years. My plan is to try getting in artist alleys again starting next year.

I REALLY want to get into Artist Alleys again. It's been in my mind for so long, you have no idea. Please.

So... To my big shame and with a bit of grief: not much advice. It's also one of these things where I ask people for advice and I generally always get vague, if just a bit helpful, answers I'll still try to say something from my memories back in Spain:

Have bags and envelopes for people to carry their things, have things to write on, and plenty of business cards. Don't underestimate that!

Oh, and do NOT count on Wi-fi on a con, ever. Always save portfolio-worthy art offline, either printed or on your phone's gallery. You will talk about your art and you will want to show it.

For production, I use Vograce.

My tip for that: If you ask for 50 pieces of anything, you can make them as diverse as you want, and you can use it to print obscure characters, for example. Nothing is stopping you from purchasing 47 Sonic the hedgehogs and 3 [your very own personal blorbos nobody knows about] and it'll cost the same

[stuffforthestash]

Modern Academic AU pt3

All this because I couldn't stop thinking about what kinds of classes Professor Raphael would teach... He's laughing up at me from hell, I just know it.

part 1 and part 2

------------------------------

Kagha (by request!) - Environmental Science. Will only teach courses about political lobbying and activism. She's also a militant vegan and active member of PETA, and won't shut up about it.

Dammon - College of Engineering. Teaches "Advanced Manufacturing Processes" and "Finite Element Analysis", and runs the machining shop. Also teaches a metal sculpture class when there's room in the Art School's budget. He's one of the faculty liaisons for several LGBTQA+ orgs on campus as well, and is completely oblivious to the fact he has a fan club (which is for the best, really)

Zevlor - Campus Security. A retired Green Beret who refuses to talk about his time in the service, he's well liked by most faculty and known to be a bit of an old school charmer. LOTS of rumors and speculation about what kind of injury got him discharged, and how he got it.

Barcus - College of Engineering. He teaches classes on Thermodynamics and Process Design & Safety. Has no idea how popular and well-liked he is by both students and staff.

Wulbren - Chemical Engineering Dep't Chair. He's brilliant, but also an asshole, and is constantly trying to weasel more grant money for his research into ethically questionable chemical compound modifications. Also makes his TAs teach all his classes for him.

Lorroakan - English Dep't Chair. Thinks he's hot shit for it but really no one else wanted the job. He makes his TAs teach all his classes AND do all his admin work, so he can spend all his time (and the department's money) on schmoozing with alumni and donors.

Blurg - Environmental Science. Isn't that great of a teacher but it's required for keeping the research grants coming in. Thankfully his passion and enthusiasm for topics like Sustainability in Agriculture make up for his shortcomings.

Omeluum - They're actually Bluurg's research partner and not technically a member of faculty, though they also act as his unofficial TA because otherwise Bluurg's course work interferes with their research timelines.

Nine-Fingers Keene (by request) - School of Business. Her classes are all advanced level and titled things like "Gaining The Competitive Edge". She also runs an entrepreneurial outreach program for young women seeking to start their own businesses.

Dame Aylin - VP of Diversity and Inclusion. She's very passionate about her job and a VERY vocal advocate for social justice issues like inclusivity, diversity, and accessibility. Completely incapable of keeping her personal life separate from her professional one, as she's a devout believer in leading by example.

Isobel - School RN. Is fiercely protective of students right to medical privacy and access to judgment free care, but is much better known on campus for being Dame Aylin's wife.

The Emperor - Board of Trustees. Outwardly just an ordinary Trustee, generally pleasant to interact with and actually rather good at rubbing elbows with students, faculty, and admin alike. There's just something off about them, enough that they've had multiple audits and inquests over the years despite nobody ever being able to find any actual signs of misconduct.

------------------------------

Sorry this set took a bit longer to figure out. A bunch of these characters were a real challenge to fit into roles that actually exist in reality, and I had to do a bit of research to find out wtf kinds of classes or departments certain fields of study even have. Ah, the things we do for the blorbos, amirite?

[just-antithings]

I'm just really annoyed

If two characters are best friends I can't ship them because they don't have to be more than friend and I can't see the value in friendship and platonic relationships

If two characters are enemies I can't ship them because it's abusive and I shouldn't see abusive behavior as romantic

If both of them never met I shouldn't ship them because it doesn't make sense for them to fall in love

If they it's a gay ship I should value male friendships

If they it's a lesbian ship I'm fetishazing

If it's a straight ship I'm homophobic

If it's a biracial ship I'm racist

You can't win

Can antis just say they dislike shipping and stop interacting with fandom please ? It's ok fandom is not a moral duty you don't have to participate

Most people ship a ship because they like it not because some moral duty people didn't ship gay ships because they wanted represention (correct me if I'm wrong) they did because they liked the thought of these to specific characters together (again I may be wrong but I met alot of homophobic shippers who are 100% ok with taking the rights of queer people but are ok with shipping as long as it's fiction) the reason for being more x ship in fandom is not because people hate y ship it is because more people wrote about x ship nothing more fanfiction is not a corporation it's not about wich ship is more liked it's about how much people want to write (I'm side eyeing some gen fic lovers who love to pretend the world is an unpure place where people like *gasp* evil sex sex it normal coming from an asexual girl never touching that thing but it's normal)

If you dislike a trope or ship avoid if you want more content that you like make it a random fanfic writer doesn't owe you shit Antis !!!

And I'm also talking about the ones who complain about changing characters personalities and watering them down , nobody is forcing you to read fanfic if you think all the writers are doing a bad job at portraying (most fanfic writers are doing it for fun I'm not gonna make everything 100% accurate like it or not I'm coming home from a 9 to 5 I just want my blorbos to kiss in my coffee shop au I don't care for them to be an accurate representation of cannon) the characters and tropes then Don't read or write a fanfic with your superior portrayal of characters (but they won't all the rare pair fanfic writers ive met are sweet people and make themselves more content and not act like entitled Alogthrem babies)

Listen up fanfic writers if it isn't fun it isn't worth it that's the only rule of fanfiction out their other than that it's free game and for the love of god remember that your doing this shit for free so other people's opinions are not in any way important

👆👆👆👆

[teaveetamer]

It really sucks that you're getting harassed, but u should look back at the harassment you never really stopped to support and the harassment you avoid talking about too. Everyone sucks here, you're incapable of decrying the harassment coming from your "side" because you care more about blorbo discourse... Do you actually stand up against harassment if you don't say anything when it's from your "side" or at least people who enjoy your blorbo? If you only do so when coming from fans of the character you don't like?

I sincerely hope the harassment you receive stop, to be clear you absolutely do not deserve the shit you're dealing with, nobody does. But I hope you'll genuine look at yourself and the people surrounding you too.

Anon, I'm going to take this in the best possible faith, but holy shit this is so fucking terminally online. Like, you are aware that I'm an adult? I'm slaving away at an unpaid internship, I'm in graduate school, and I've got 20k words worth of academic papers to write and exams to study for. I'm spending time with my dying grandpa and I'm finding new and inventive ways to give a semi-feral cat heart medicine without getting my thumb bitten off. I'm not "intentionally ignoring" things going on, I'm just not an omniscent god who can keep track of 472 million Tumblr users at every given moment of the day and also have a job and a life. So if you've got beef and you think I'm not properly calling someone out then I'm going to need you to send me a link. I get maybe and hour of Tumblr time a day, and I don't actually follow 3H discourse because, shocker, I don't actually find getting into the exact same tired fights we were getting into 5 years ago all that fun or enjoyable. Isn't it wild though? It's been half a decade since 3H launch and I've spent like half of that with people stalking me and sending me death threats for no fucking reason!

Anyway, I could not give two tenths of a fuck whether or not you like my blorbo. I'm primarily concerned by the people sending death threats, actively defending genocidal rhetoric, stalking people, making false pedophilia accusations, et-fucking-cetera. I've done literally everything in my power to try and come to an understanding with the people inflicting the harassment and they're stiiiiiiill just doing it, years later, cuz I guess they don't have anything better to do. The only remotely comparable thing I've witnessed from "my side" in recent days, which frankly doesn't even come close to the level of vitriol and harassment of death threats, was that one of my mutuals called the genocidal freak (who intentionally tried to trigger me in the past) a mean name. And I only found out about that because a friend of mine saw it and talked to me about it. And wow look at that, if you actually go to the post you can literally see me telling that mutual to knock it off! And I spoke to them privately about it too! Which is something, frankly, I think I had every reason to not do given the way that person being insulted has treated me (And the lack of apology I've received from them for that). So like, not sure which kidney you want me to sacrifice to prove that I'm not actually cool with people stalking others and sending death threats.

[gingerbreadmonsters]

stupid cupid

or: stop picking on me!

gn!reader, no content warnings, fun dumb fluff for the soul. sam collins, you’re a real mean guy! takes place inside the wonderful lexi’s prissy au, where alexis and christian are together - @autisticempathydaemon i hope i do your blorbos justice! as always, i owe everything to the discord girlies - i get the sudden feeling that @zozo-01 ​ might want to hear about this... oh, and all my love to my lovely dialect coach, the incomparable @sri-rachaa - without whom, you would all be subject to the most unholy combination of accents imaginable. be very very grateful! 💕💕 heavily inspired by stupid cupid by connie francis, which i demand you listen to while you read. spot the 五二零 reference! sam being absolutely, thoroughly to blame in just over 2200 words.

“Well. Fancy seeing you here, hmm?”

Sam Collins is an idiot.

Yeah, you’re not afraid to say it.

Sam Collins is an idiot, and you’ll tell anyone who listens, swear up and down it’s the honest truth. A bleeding-heart birdbrain who couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag. An empty-headed vamp with a talent for healing and an even bigger talent for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. Nobody else alive can put their foot in their mouth quite so quickly or obviously, and - despite Asher’s continued existence - he actually holds the state record for most dumb things said in a single minute. He’s a moron and a fool and the stupidest goddamn loser you’ve ever met in your life, and the worst part about it is that you’re absolutely, ridiculously, so so so in love with him.

It’s not fair!

What even is there to like about him? His stupid face and his awful smile and that horrible way he says there’s my darlin’, all relieved and deep and easy, when you come traipsing back through his door like a drowned rat because you hadn’t checked the forecast and it had started raining about twenty minutes after you left. His old-fashioned, ugly haircut that’s the perfect length to run your fingers through, all messy and falling across his face when he’s asleep in your arms, unfairly soft and pretty even though he barely takes care of it at all. That god-awful scruff around his jaw that you can’t help but kiss as he fills the kettle up with water, those strong hands that gently find their way around your waist as you’re listening to Milo’s tale of whatever bullshit he and his mate got up to last week, the way he likes to prop you up against his chest whenever you’re watching TV together…

…Sorry, what were we talking about?

Oh, Sam, right. Yeah, yeah. He’s an idiot. Have you mentioned that yet?

He gets back and finds you perched on the kitchen counter, elbow deep in the bag of crisps you said you didn’t like but he knows you do, because he pays too much attention to stupid shit like that for his own good. He lets you play your music in the car way more than the 50/50 you’d agreed on, which you know is true because you’ve started counting, because he’s a lying liar who lies. He always opens doors for you and pulls out your chair at the table and brings you flowers, but never lets you do the same for him, because he’s an enemy of goodness who hates things being fair.

He’s just so - he’s - the - he - aargh!

Stupid, stupid Sam Collins. It should be illegal to be so - so like that, you know? Who even let him get like this, anyway? Kissing your hand as he says hello with that damned smile, like some dashing hero out of one of those gushy romance novels Vincent’s always carting around - you know the ones, the cringy airport-duty-free types with the big cursive letters and a stock photo of some windswept white guy plastered across the cover. Your real life white knight, stepped right off the page and into your arms like it’s where he’s meant to be.

(It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, but sometimes you really do have to wonder. He gives Vincent shit for reading all those cheesy romance novels, but you’re starting to think it’s Sam who takes them to heart. He does know that those aren’t instruction manuals… right?)

He’s something else, that man. Unfortunately, you can’t say you don’t like it.

At first, you’d thought he was just playing it up - trying to be courteous, trying to be nice, and accidentally laying it on just a bit too thick. It seemed like the sort of thing he’d do, from what you could tell. He’s just so good - the kind of guy that you can’t help but admire in a sort of ‘oh, he’ll make someone really happy, one day’ kind of way. Does that make sense? Charming, really charming, even if he thinks he isn’t - and thoroughly, utterly, absolutely meant for someone a lot better than you.

You don’t say it. Never have, never will. It’s obvious. Larger than life, moonlight on the silver screen. He’s always been meant for more than this, more than you, and you won’t insult his intelligence by pretending you don’t know. He could do so much better, couldn’t he? To start with, you’d thought he must be more of an idiot than he’d seemed, to want you the way he says he does.

You know a little better now, but it doesn’t stop surprising you - he doesn’t stop surprising you.

Credit where it’s due, he’s stuck around, even when you thought he wouldn’t. The truth isn’t hard to see, but he does his best to persuade you otherwise, in as many words - and sometimes not so many clothes. More often than not, you tend to believe him. He’s very convincing, when he wants to be - that or he’s just stubborn, and you never learnt the difference. Whatever it is, it sounds so nice when he says it. If that’s what his version of persuasion feels like, you’re more than happy to, uh… to be convinced, if you will.

You don’t have to say. He knows. He already knows, and he stays anyway.

“...Darlin’?”

Oh, fuck, he - um-

“Uh - yeah, I - oh - yeah, I, um…” Startled out of your daydreaming, you’re caught off-guard by that foaming, fizzing feeling that bubbles up in your chest as he catches your eye, leaning down to prop himself up on the side of the sofa right next to where you’re sitting. “I was just, you know… sitting here…”

He laughs low and easy at your smooth comeback, shifting his weight to rest on one arm so he can reach out and take your hand gently in his. “Gettin’ comfy, are we?”

“Mm-hmm,” you mumble, trying desperately not to look as flustered as you feel. Fuck, does everyone feel like this when they see their mates? Or is it just the effect Sam has on you? You’d better start cutting Milo some more slack for that dumb face he makes whenever his mate walks into the room. “Got back early from David’s.”

“He alrigh’?”

“Seems it.” It’s always a bit awkward, going over to hang out at David’s house, but it’s generally a good time when you can pluck up the courage to actually go. “Ash spent half the time giving him shit for losing at Mario Kart, and the other half was mostly David beating him into the ground at Gang Beasts, so… yeah?”

The afternoon had been pretty good, all things considered - barring one minor mishap with a deck of UNO cards, a saucepan full of rice and some god-awful rhythm action game - and it had been nice to spend some time just relaxing with the others again. Everyone’s been so busy that it’s been hard to find a day you could all do, so it was a good change of pace.

Sam nods, thumb idly stroking over the back of your hand. “Seems like the pair of ‘em are settlin’ right in with this whole engaged business, then.”

“Business as usual, more like. They’re all lovey with their mates anyway, so it’s no different.” It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault - it’s just the way the bond works, you know? Not a compulsion, it’s not forcing you close or making you want to be all soft and touchy all the time. It just… it feels nice, is all. Like it’s good, like it’s true, like it’s right. You’d like to say you’re not as PDA-heavy as the really ooey-gooey ones like Milo and his mate, but… Well. Maybe most of the time.

“Mm, ‘spose you’re right on that front,” he muses, regretfully letting go of your hand as he stands up and starts walking off towards the kitchen. “‘Sides, ain’t David the one who proposed to his mate on solstice day? Guess he’s just the romantic type.”

“I…” When you think of romantic people, David Shaw isn’t top of the list, but maybe he’s right. When it comes to all that cheesy, cutesy stuff? Angel isn’t exactly the most subtle pet name, after all. “Yeah, I guess.”

You make to get up and follow him, but he holds out a hand to stop you before you can even properly stand.

“Nope - you stay right there, darlin’,” he says, grabbing the remote off the side table and tossing it lightly into your lap as he disappears out into the corridor. “Won’t be more’n a minute.”

“Everything alright?”

“Left my phone on the counter, ‘s all,” he replies, voice echoing slightly in the hall as you turn the TV on, idly flicking through the channels. “Vincent wanted me to take a look at some website or other - last I heard, he’s been makin’ plans for some Valentine’s Day thing?”

“He’ll be disappointed, then,” you snicker, readjusting yourself slightly to make room for Sam as he comes to sit next to you on the sofa. “He has realised that Valentine’s Day was, like, two weeks ago, right?”

A long-suffering sigh - which, to be honest, is most of the clan’s reaction when Vincent starts waxing lyrical about his partner again. There’s been a meeting at William’s all evening, something about making preparations for an event at one of the properties in a few months’ time, so Vincent must have got a hold of him there.

“Well, whatever it is, he’s got all sorts of ideas floatin’ around. He normally asks Alexis about this kinda thing, but she wasn’t there tonight so he came to me.”

“Huh.” That’s unusual. Alexis is normally really on top of these sorts of things - say what you will about her, she’s always on time and she never misses anything business-related if she can help it. “Maybe she’s just feeling a bit under the weather today.”

“Vincent said she had some ‘prior arrangement’ in town she couldn’t miss.” Sam shrugs, settling in next to you as you switch over to Netflix. “Guess she must’ve been double-booked tonight.”

Hmm. Why is that familiar? Playing truant, ‘double-booked’... You haven’t heard anything about Alexis being busy tonight before, so why does ‘prior arrangement’ ring a bell?

...Wait.

Oh, so that’s why Christian left early! You’d thought he was looking unusually dressed up. Their date night is normally Wednesdays, so it hadn’t even crossed your mind, but now that you think about it you remember Chrissy bitching about being on an out-of-town job all this week and having to miss it.

Oh, fair enough then. If someone had tried to send you out on some boring security gig for a week and you couldn’t see Sam until you got back, you’d probably be pretty pissed off too.

The conversation trails off a bit as you finally find a show you want to watch, and you’re just reaching for the blanket behind you when he - oh, when - um, when, ahhh…

“This alrigh’?” Curse his vampire speed! Before you really know what’s happening, he’s got you pressed right up against him, legs draped over his lap and curled in close under his arm, blanket over both of you. Not that you need it, anymore - your face feels like lava with the way he’s looking at you, impossibly gentle and kind.

“Yeah, yeah…” The spotlight of his attention, turned fully on you, and you’re practically blinded every time. “Good, yeah, it’s uh… yeah, ‘s fine…”

“Good,” he says, smiling softly like he has no idea of the effect he has on you. “Wouldn’t want my mate gettin’ cold on my watch.”

Fuck, does he always have to say it like that? Doesn’t he know what it does to you? Mate, mate, mate. Rattling around in your head, that firecracker-fizzing in your chest that runs through you at just the thought. He’ll end up giving you a heart attack one of these days, the way he’s going. And if it means he’ll heal you, hands all over you, holding you close as his aura cracks and sparks with healing magic? Maybe it’s overkill - but you can’t say the thought isn’t very appealing.

You hide your smile against his shoulder, burying your face in his chest in a vain attempt to play it cool - unfortunately his ridiculously-affectionate little laugh as you twist your fingers in his shirt tells you that it hasn't quite worked.

“Y’know, you seem a bit distracted, if I’m bein’ honest.”

The TV is long-forgotten as he gently tips your chin up, that idiot, idiot Sam Collins - dumb silver eyes and horrible smile and stupidly-handsome face just inches away. Is it just you, or is it a bit warm in here? In the arms of an evil, awful, wicked man whose favourite thing to do is make your stupid brain stop working, who sets your face and your heart and your soul on fire without a second thought, without even knowing he’s doing it. Honestly. What’s become of you? A house and a life and a mate that’s yours, it’s yours, he’s yours.

“Penny for your thoughts, darlin’?” A soft kiss, pressed lightly to your cheek, and all of a sudden the inside of your brain lights up a familiar shade of bright, bright blue.

He - you - oh, that’s - he just - aargh!

masterlist

this is an original work by @gingerbreadmonsters - please do not repost or misattribute

[growling]

Tribe Nine vs Last Defense Academy

What are your thoughts

I already kinda spoken about these at length a while back in this post but since new info came out on Tribe Nine (still radio silence concerning THL:LDA) here are my thoughts:

Last Defense Academy:

I don't get the hype. I mean I get it because Danganronpa man make another game that you can pretend is basically Danganronpa 4 if you squint but. Wish we could go back to the days where Kodaka merely alluding to wanting make another Danganronpa game resulted in him getting ratio'd on twitter

From what we know about the gameplay I'll confidently say its not my thing. I don't like strategy games. It looks like Forge of Empires mobile ad

I have a feeling (rare occurence) that it is actually a barely disguised gacha game

It's basically just Danganronpa with extra steps. It's literally Danganronpa but less good. They gotta do something REAL spectacular here in order to convince me they aren't just pandering to all the danganronpa fans left here.

I was wrong about the radio silence bit there actually was a twt post that revealed that there are basically THREE mascot characters. There's a THIRD one. And they all look hideous. Get cum shinigami away from my fucking eyes I hope they die in the prologue after giving the tutorial and we never hear from them again

Moving on to the art. Why are they white. I don't mean the race I mean why the fuck are they #FFFFFF. And I thought raincoders were unnaturally pale it doesn't even look good. All the character design suck except maybe for main boy I think he's fine. Especially the eyesore blue hair girl who approved this she doesn't look official my 10 year old self could make an oc with more aesthetically pleasing colors than whoever created this wretch

Takumi is fine. I could kidnap him. Still not over how he's just walmart Yomi but if he chose peace. Truly, a son, and brother -- I'm an extremely abusive father,

I have irrational levels of hatred towards The Hundred Line: Last Defense Academy

Tribe Nine:

This one is actually confirmed to be a gacha game from the start but I can forgive them

As mentioned in the above linked post I just find its premise too funny not to respect. No I'm not gonna play it. However,

The only thing I care about is the superior glory of the character known as Zero. Holy fucking shit words cannot express how much I want him I mean how much he interests me as a character

Look at him. Gorgeos. He looks so much like Makoto. He looks and acts like a makoyomi baby which is crazy that I got like 2 whole ass kids that look like they'd be plausibly mine, and brother, I am an

He's even got a mask. This is fucked. Everything about whatever the fuck he's got going on has been life ruining for me. He's like a honorary blorbo at this point. I hope he's a cyborg of some sorts

I support him in every atrocity he wants to commit. Let baby do a little bit of dictatorship stop stifling his creativity

#1/Kazuma, while he's not Zero, which knocks down his position by a LOT, can take second place. He can have it. Not just because he's affiliated with <3 Zero <3 but because I love these kinda evil henchman type of guys. Loyal deeply cringe manservant lickspittle who's fucking obsessed and borderline gay about it. All my hopes for Kazuma is that he has to say any variation of "on it boss. you got it boss. right away boss. you need to talk to the boss. got a problem with the boss? well if boss says its alright then its alright" pleaaseeeee its not everyday that we get a guy who both thinks that he's the shit and is actually some more powerful guy's lapdog and doesn't mind it. I want him to be gay about it, like, Darkstripe and Fake Zilch levels of gay. I can make him so fucked up. I wanted to include another sentence but my life flashed before my eyes as I typed this I think I shall keep that shit to myself if I value my following

Why is the SHSL impostor here why did nobody tell him that he can stop impersonating Togami already

I don't give a fuck about any of the other guys aside from Zero & Kazuma. I will only ever check out Tribe Nine (on youtube) in order to look at every single scene with Zero and Kazuma and then be done I don't care for the other guys and especially the gameplay

If I had to pick a main character to care about aside from the aforementioned honorary blorbos, like, if I had a gun to my head, I'll pick dollar store Shinigami

[cedarxwing]

Today I came across blog that kind of ruined my mood and now I’m freakin sad because the blog is talking about how Hannigram is not meant to last and Will’s future will be different as Brian said “It’s Will Graham” story . Can you please console me 🥹

I'm sorry, anon! Imo, it's best to block upsetting blogs like that. Fandom is just a hobby, so there's no point in engaging with people who ruin your fun. Especially antis who post in the hannigram tag just to troll people lol.

I don't know what blog you're referring to, so I can't really refute anything they said, but I'll leave you with a few thoughts:

Conflict is the heart of all good stories. When the conflict is resolved, the story is over. Any hypothetical continuation of Hannibal would include conflict, so it's not out of the question that hannigram would have problems in S4. But that doesn't mean they don't love each other!

Unless Bryan has a secret burner account, nobody on tumblr knows how Hannibal was meant to end. We can speculate based on interviews and meta, but it's pointless to pretend to know for sure. All we have are headcanons, so you might as well headcanon whatever makes you happiest. You don't need permission from random internet users to imagine a happily ever after for hannigram!

Even if S4 did happen and hannigram ended tragically, that wouldn't stop us from writing AUs. Fandom is a sandbox where you play make-pretend with your blorbos! Ignoring canon is a time-honored tradition! Even Bryan says the show is fanfiction of the books and that his opinion is just as valid as yours, so it really doesn't matter what he thinks.

If you want my opinion on how the show would have ended, I'm 90% sure that hannigram was endgame. Out of all screen adaptations, the show stuck the closest to the romance in the third novel. There has never been a screen adaption where Hannibal got his original romantic happily ever after. It would be literally insane for them not to be the first, especially when, based on everything from interviews to the show itself, it's obvious that Bryan was a massive fan of the novels. In fact, I believe the post-credits scene of TWOTL was included as a mini happily ever after because the show was cancelled.

I hope that helps! <3

[noxexistant]

OKAY BUT WHY ARE YOU GONNA FREAKING TEASE US LIKE THAT. ARE YOU DIAGNOSING THE DELANCEYS OR NOT?!

IM SORRY i was too busy fully crying over the overwhelming response encouraging me to keep talking about my blorbos :’) i got very in my own head that i was being annoying, particularly about the delanceys, but hearing SO MANY PEOPLE ask to hear more is so wild n lovely n auuuuughhh i love you all

ANYWAY. we’re pulling the boys out of the blender to psychoanalyse them for once

cw; talk of food issues, abuse, substance abuse, plus all the usual stuff for my delancey interpretations

it’s rambling time

first of all, oscar.

he absolutely has symptoms of antisocial personality disorder, to start us off.

antisocial personality disorder, like bpd, can be caused both genetically and by abuse/neglect/instability during childhood, and details such as parents abusing alcohol or other substances can factor in. i headcanon both the delanceys’ parents to have abused alcohol, and particularly their mother to have been bipolar, which affects their upbringing and their own genetics/vulnerability to mental illness.

oscar is just so angry, all the time, as a child - nothing is fair, nothing is okay, and there isn’t even anything he can do about it. it’s this crushing sense of frustration and fear and helplessness. even at school, even when he’s really, honestly trying his best, he can’t pay attention. he knows he’s incredibly lucky to be going to school at all - morris’ll never go - but that just means he’s in trouble there as well as at home. he gets caned at school and then comes home to get beat. it’s not fair. nobody listens, nobody treats him well, but he has to look after morris anyway even though nobody’s ever looked after him.

the anger calcifies as he gets older. solidifies into this mass that sits inside him, taking up all the space for anything good. he becomes aggressive and impulsive, and learns to stop caring about other people because none of them can be trusted - enough people have proven themselves awful, his parents and everyone on the streets and snyder and the other kids in the refuge and weasel, so he’ll stop trying and trust they’re all the same. even someone who might not be a threat is probably worthless and useless, he has nothing to gain from doing anything but getting them out of the way, and oscar recognises his hypocrisy because he used to think similar things about morris, but morris is different.

morris is a part of oscar. he isn’t an outsider, he isn’t like anybody else, he’s the only thing in the entire world worth caring about, and oscar does. he doesn’t feel anything when he hurts or scares anyone else, at most feels a sense of satisfaction, but his stomach drops out when he accidentally scares or hurts morris, by shouting at him or moving too fast or doing one of the things that makes morris go empty-eyed and far away. oscar feels sick with guilt then - really, physically sick with it, like it’s surrounding the black mass of his anger and there isn’t enough space for it and it all just starts spilling out - and he doesn’t know how to cope. he doesn’t know how to stomach his love for morris. especially not when it has to sit next to all the anger like that. he tries so hard to keep the two away from each other, but he still gets angry at morris often, although nowhere near as often as he gets aggressive with anybody else. he hits morris sometimes, even though he really doesn’t mean to, and morris always says it’s okay. he says he’s not scared of oscar, not really, no matter what, because they’re them - the two of them, one entity. they’re entirely codependent.

morris has borderline personality disorder. which is also influenced by his autism - these two types of black-and-white thinking and sense of justice and general perception of the world, feeding into each other and creating a sense of isolation that keeps him away from everyone but oscar. oscar’s the only person who can be trusted, and morris loves him more than anything - way, way more than he loves himself, which is not at all. every part of morris, his moods and emotions and his worth and his willingness to do anything, ride wholly on oscar’s mood at that moment and how he’s treating morris. morris is far more likely to hurt himself if oscar is upset with him or not talking to him, which oscar knows, so once they’ve been in the refuge for a while he stops being upset with morris for any longer than the duration of one of his outbursts. he won’t let morris hurt himself anymore, will often encourage morris to hit him instead of hitting himself when he’s upset or frustrated.

still, morris is forever terrified that oscar will leave him just like ma and pa did, so he tries to be good. he tries to always agree with oscar, and keeps quiet when oscar’s having a bad turn, and he doesn’t get mad back even when oscar hits him, though that’s also in part because he can’t. the second morris gets hit like that, he shuts down - thinking about pa - and then everything’s gone for a few hours, maybe a day if it’s really bad. he’s lost months to dissociation before, whole years with only brief glimpses of the surface before he went back down, particularly while he and oscar were in the refuge. there’s things that scare him and upset him that he doesn’t understand because they’re parts of memories he doesn’t remember. he has little to no sense of self and no sense of self-worth, he has bouts of being sure he doesn’t need anyone but oscar and bouts of feeling so lonely he can hardly breathe. he feels empty a lot, but also feels angry and sad and desperately scared, and sometimes giddily happy but it never seems to last long. he thinks about dying a lot.

he also definitely has arfid. it’s a mix of a lot of triggers - his autistic sensitivity to foods, all his trauma surrounding food, and low interest in eating anyway because he can’t understand his own hunger cues and tends not to really enjoy food. he’s been malnourished his whole life, and largely still is, even nearing adulthood - he won’t eat like oscar does, wolfing down a whole plateful of whatever’s on offer, he can’t. he’s sick if he tries to eat food he doesn’t want, and/or has meltdowns. it terrifies oscar, who is just desperate for morris to eat at least enough to be healthy, but even oscar usually can’t convince morris to eat. he focuses on getting the particular foods that morris does like instead, and always keeping them so that he can get morris to eat a bite or two at a time throughout the day. on morris’ worst days, oscar will get him candy - his favourite, the only thing he’ll always eat - and let him eat that like a meal so he’s at least eating something.

that being said, oscar isn’t great about consuming stuff either. he likes alcohol too much, and he’ll do his damnedest to not drink a drop in front of morris but he’ll often sneak out once he knows morris is asleep and duck into a bar for an hour or two. he drinks like he’s trying to knock himself out, which he usually is. he likes a bar fight too - meaningless, usually, and no-holds-barred. he’ll glass someone for saying anything bad about his brother, or anything good about his parents. he drinks what his father used to, because he knows what it’s called and what it tastes like - he’d used to steal swigs from the bottles left out, when he was a little kid. he’d made morris try too, when he was the age oscar’d been when he first tried, but he’d spat it straight back out. oscar’d laughed at him, but now he’s grateful. morris hurts himself enough without adding drinking to the mix.

both of them have c-ptsd. morris has nightmares every single time he falls asleep for long enough, and doesn’t sleep much because of it. oscar has adhd - it influences his aggression and frustration, this constant burning restlessness that exists within him. he’s deeply impatient with anything he finds boring, which includes most people, and he most commonly “stims” with violence. the vast majority of morris’ stims border on self-harm, and he self-harms to stim too, but he has some positive stims - rocking back and forth, bouncing on his heels, stomping his feet, tracing the edges of objects, echolalia. he chews on things, including his own thumb, which he does both because it feels nice and because it hurts. sometimes that’s the same thing to him. he sucks his thumb too, especially for comfort, which ties into one final detail

morris age regresses, or does something adjacent. it’s this kind of undiagnosable no man’s land between his trauma and autism and developmental disability, but mainly just characterised by vulnerability and childishness. oscar’s the only one who really knows, mostly because he’s the only one who could ever notice, but he gets even more protective when he knows morris is more vulnerable - entirely nonverbal, just stimming and comfort-seeking. that’s when oscar sticks right by morris’ side, not getting restless or seeking out any fights for once, not talking for any reason other than to give morris something to listen to. just…looking after his brother, as best he can.