#I will never stop talking about this Obi Wan moment

[wowifinallywatched]

The room is dark.

Stormtroopers either side, guarding the little princess that is much more powerful than anyone suspected.

Until suddenly a blue light is sheathed and attacks before they can come to terms with what is happening.

Obi-Wan has an immaculate entrance and kicks their ass in the dark.

That's it. That's the post.

[gffa]

Hot Take: I don't think Obi-Wan is being literal in this scene, but instead asking Anakin to read between the lines and to maintain the delicate balance he's kept thus far with his relationship vs his duty to the Jedi Order. The way Obi-Wan is written over the course of the story often implies that he knows about Anakin and Padme's relationship--Padme tells Anakin that Obi-Wan came to see her in Revenge of the Sith because he's worried about Anakin, Obi-Wan goes to her when he's trying to find Anakin after Order 66, or even in TCW where he sees Anakin sneaking off while making Rex cover for him and knows it's about Padme.

Obi-Wan knows that Anakin and Padme are in some sort of relationship. He doesn't know the depth of it, he doesn't know that they've been married for years at this point, but he does know that they have feelings and are acting on them to some degree. He's never said anything to stop it before. In this moment where he talks about Satine and feelings, it's not just a regular chat, it's specifically about Anakin having lost it, this is after he's become emotionally volatile about Padme, after he beat Rush Clovis pretty badly (to the point that he scared Padme off their relationship for awhile) and is obviously unbalanced. I don't think Obi-Wan is literally asking him to stop the relationship, he's pointing out that feelings are natural, of course they're allowed within the Jedi, but that Anakin is sliding into dangerous territory and he's asking that Anakin work to regain the equilibrium he had before this, to refocus on his internal balance and find it again. Because, several episodes later, when Anakin has calmed down and refocused himself, Obi-Wan knows he's still seeing Padme and doesn't object again. He's not trying to stop it even knowing that it's still going. Obi-Wan isn't asking Anakin to give up the relationship for the Jedi Order, but to take a step back and get his shit together again for the sake of the Order. He's just asking Anakin to read between the lines to understand what he's actually saying (keep the relationship, feelings are normal and allowed, but get your cool back together), because that's how Obi-Wan speaks and this is a delicate conversation. He's asking Anakin, if you're going to keep this relationship, you have to maintain your balance with your emotions and not fly off in a rage about it, because you are a level 100 psychic space wizard who can kill people with your mind powers when your emotions are out of whack.

[deakyjoe]

Absolution

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader (afab, fem)

Category: smut, sex pollen

Summary: Obi-Wan really should have let his curiosity go and avoided that flower.

Warnings: 18+, smut (!!), sex pollen, slight dubcon (because of sex pollen but all consensual), unprotected p in v sex, master kink, slight sub!obi-wan, slight dom!reader, reader talks obi-wan through it basically, suggestions of inappropriate use of a lightsaber, virgin!obi-wan, religious guilt, hints of reader’s past feelings, reader kind of ignores some Jedi rules, kissing, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, a lot of talks of fluids I feel, slight angst I guess, let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 4.9k

A/N: Happy May the Fourth! Happy Star Wars Day! Wrote an Obi-Wan fic last year so thought I’d keep up the tradition this year as well. It’s not the best thing I’ve ever written, certainly not the best smut, but I did end up rushing it a little to get it posted today so… sorry! This is for @lightwxlker who I told about this over lunch at uni <3 (feel free to read but please never look me in the eye again if you do). Can’t wait to see you later to see The Phantom Menace!!

Consider buying me a coffee :)

Absolution:

(Noun)

Formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.

Declaration that a person’s sins have been forgiven.

It felt like you'd been trekking through the dense forest for days. Really, it had only been a few hours. But with no end in sight, and Obi-Wan's continuous promise of almost there, you were convinced that the two of you had been lost for about a week.

The Jedi had told you that you were in search of a hidden community that had answers to some questions that the Council had about... something. You didn't know. You rarely paid attention when Obi-Wan explained these things. As much as you respected him, these briefings started to sound the same after a while. It was the thing he reprimanded you for most often.

"Can we-" You wheezed. "Can we stop for just a minute?"

"Soon." He called over his shoulder simply, pushing aside a leafy branch for the both of you to pass through.

You considered pushing him over, tripping him up maybe, and even just stabbing him with your lightsaber. Just to have a break for a moment. It was unclear how he managed to walk through dense forest for hours on end without even a hint of fatigue peeking through. You envied him for it.

Luckily, your prayers were answered when a clearing appeared. It was small, sheltered by the canopy of trees above you, but it was a good place to stop. You didn't even have to say the word, Obi-Wan already knew what you wanted.

"Fine, rest here for a moment." He sighed, pointing at a rock.

You collapsed quickly, thankful for the brief reprieve, and watched as the Jedi made a slow circle around the clearing. He was inspecting every little thing there was to see. If there was one thing you had in common with the man, it was your curiosity and thirst for knowledge.

"Rather fascinating." He mumbled to himself, ignoring the burning of your stare on his back as he moved, poking at a fungus of some kind with the tip of his finger.

"Be careful. It might be poisonous." You warned, stretching out your legs in front of you.

"I know my living organisms." He replied steadily, pulling up and moving on to the next one.

It was a flower. Rather large, with pinkish petals and an indigo centre extending on from a bright green stem. It looked vaguely familiar to you. You racked your brain, thinking about the botany books you'd spent your spare time reading when Obi-Wan had insisted that you should know more about the planets you were constantly visiting.

Nothing was coming to you. Maybe you hadn't seen it in one of those books. Your head tilted as you watched the Jedi stroke gently at the petals with the backs of his fingers, mumbling about how it felt soft, and something came back to you when the flower seemed to move of its own accord.

"Get back." You shot up from the rock you were previously sitting on and took a quick step towards him.

"It's fine." He insisted, not looking at you - too entranced by the flower as he continued to caress the petals. He didn't know this one. He found it intriguing.

You remembered where you'd seen the flower before. A book hidden deep in the archives, where you ventured when you knew no one was looking, part of a collection of things that the Jedi were not supposed to have interest in.

Your pace picked up as the flower curled in on itself, the fleeting look of disappoint clear on Obi-Wan's face, reaching for his shoulder to wrench him back.

"No! Obi-Wan, stop!"

But it was too late.

As you made contact with his robes to pull him away, the flower blossomed open. A bright cloud of purple pollen burst out and coated the two of you, settling itself over your skin and infiltrating your lungs, and therefore your blood stream, as you breathed it in.

You coughed, scrubbing at yourself to try and get it off. But you knew you were past that.

The Jedi turned to you, surprised to see the panic in your eyes. "It's just flower pollen, nothing a little water won't wash away."

Your voice was shaky as you spoke. "What have you done?"

He frowned and glanced back at the plant. It wasn't one he recognised, granted, but he also hadn't been warned of anything dangerous in this area. So he really wasn't concerned. "I don't understand. What's wrong?"

"It's a flos venerem." You whispered. "We need to find shelter."

As you turned around in a slow circle, trying to decide which way you were more likely to find somewhere to figure everything out, Obi-Wan watched you with a curious gaze.

"And what is a flos venerem?"

You scoffed over your shoulder at him. "Do you ever read?"

You knew it was an unfair question considering the place you'd read about the flower wasn't one he, or any other Jedi, frequented but you were angry and frightened. Angry at him for not listening to your warnings. And frightened for yourself since you knew what the flower was going to do to you.

He looked on as you closed your eyes, feeling out with the Force. "Now is not the time to insult me. Tell me."

You whirled on him. "It's an aphrodisiac. A powerful one. And if we don't find shelter soon then you're going to be doing some strange things to these trees."

Obi-Wan frowned, puzzled by what you were saying. "Is there a cure?"

You laughed humourlessly, turning away from him again. "Is there a cure? Is there a cure, he asks. Ha!"

"An antidote?"

"No, there's no antidote." You hissed.

The effects of the pollen were already weighing on you. You imagined Obi-Wan was also feeling something as well, just unaware of it. At least you knew what you were supposed to be feeling. The Jedi Knight had no idea.

Your mouth felt dry, like sand on your tongue, and your skin was hot to the touch. A dull headache was forming at the base of your skull too and you knew these sensations would only get worse if you didn't do what the flower wanted you to. There really was only one way to fix it. But you couldn't find it in yourself to tell your companion the solution. You were ignoring the heavy feeling in the base of your abdomen.

Sensing your apprehension wasn't overstated, Obi-Wan pointed back in the direction you'd come from. "There was a cave a little while ago. We can go there and you can tell me more about this... aphrodisiac flower."

You only nodded, lacking the strength to tell him that you wouldn't be able to listen to his voice out of fear of what bodily responses that would cause in you. Your existing attraction to Obi-Wan would only be increased by the influence of the plant. And you were scared what you'd do, or what you'd suggest, to ease the feelings.

You started marching in the direction the two of you had come from, jumping away from Obi-Wan as he fell into step beside you and his shoulder brushed yours.

"Keep- keep your distance for a while." You muttered, pushing away the lick of heat that had shot through you at his proximity.

He frowned back at you, feeling bad for making you so clearly uncomfortable. "My apologies."

"It's okay. I'm just-" You cut yourself off with a groan.

Obi-Wan's stomach lurched at the sound. "You're just what?"

"The flower is making it difficult to be next to you." You turned your head away from him, desperately trying to breathe in the clean forest air and nothing else. But all you could smell was him. The scent was so strong that you could practically taste him, his skin, and it was making your mouth water.

"You're already feeling the effects of the flower?" He hummed, pondering. "I feel nothing so far."

It wasn't true. But he was completely unaware of what he was feeling. He put the dry mouth and headache down to minor exhaustion, the hike through the forest finally catching up with him. And the stirring he was feeling... down below was foreign. The Jedi secretly believed that maybe he was immune to the flower's influence.

He was severely wrong.

You glanced back at him, instantly looking away when you caught his wide-eyed gaze. His eyes were so blue, so familiar.

You marched ahead of him, ignoring his quiet protests as you urgently sought out the cave. It came into sights quickly and your pace picked up, practically running towards it now. When you reached it, you discarded your top layer of robes, the heat your body was producing making it feel as if you were melting, and left your lightsaber by the entrance to the stone shelter. You feared what you may do with it when the flower's effects got even worse.

Obi-Wan followed closely behind you and watched with curious attention at your actions, slightly puzzled when you made your way towards the back of the cave and sat down facing the wall.

"Sit over there." You pointed over your shoulder to a spot far away from yourself. "I need to think."

"Trying to remember an antidote?" He asked, wondering what there possibly was to think about right now. And without his help as well.

"Sure." You sighed, closing your eyes as you took a deep breath. You weren't thinking about an antidote since you knew there wasn't one. You were considering your options. Even though you knew they were limited. Very limited.

He trusted your word however, which was mildly foolish of him, and took a seat where you'd instructed him to do so. He kept his gaze on you, fixated on the back of your head, as he observed your breathing pick up and then slow back down several times of the course of a few minutes.

What Obi-Wan failed to notice was how his breathing was in tune with yours, increasing when yours did and lowering when yours did.

It didn't escape him though when the flower's influence started to manipulate his body even more. The dry mouth, dull headache, rapid heartbeat, and hardened dick were becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. And Obi-Wan couldn't stay in denial for much longer.

So he called out your name.

Big mistake.

You jumped at the sound, having to bite your tongue to prevent noise slipping from your lips, and glanced at him over your shoulder."Yes?"

"I believe the flower is finally setting in." He decided that was the best way to put it and not that the sight of you was making him think things he hadn't even considered since he was a lot younger.

You looked at him silently for a second too long, eyes flicking downwards before moving back up to meet his again. "Meaning?"

His brows creased for a moment. "You know."

You did. So you turned back towards the wall and stared at it. "I'm thinking really hard about it, okay? I'll work something out."

Lies.

Time progressed slowly, moving at a sluggish pace that had you wanting to claw your way out of the cave in temporary insanity, and you could hear Obi-Wan's condition growing steadily worse by the minute.

You were finding it a lot easier than him to control yourself, probably due to your more extensive knowledge on the subject of simple carnal pleasure. But Obi-Wan was losing it.

You kept your eyes focused on the stone in front of you, desperately trying to ignore the sounds that Obi-Wan was making behind you. The breathless whimpers that were leaving his mouth were heavenly to your ears, creating a pulse that shook through your body regularly. Despite the sounds making you feel good, it was getting harder and harder to stop yourself from giving in and crawling over to him. Especially since you could hear him tearing off at least one layer of his clothing.

"Obi-Wan, please be quiet." You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.

To the Jedi your voice sounded husky, tempting almost. "I cannot help it. Please help me."

His voice was desperate, almost whiny, as he begged you for some sort of assistance. If only he knew what that assistance was.

You squeezed your eyes closed, resting your face in your hands. "I'm trying."

It was a lie. You knew that nothing could be done. The passage from the book you'd read about the flower had been very clear. Death was inevitable. Unless you engaged with someone... intimately.

It was the only method that would get your bodily reactions to calm down. If not, the next few days would be painful for the both of you. You'd be extremely aroused the whole time, heart racing at a million beats per minute, sweat would pour out of you and cause severe dehydration that would be impossible to remedy, and finally your body would give up from the sheer exhaustion of trying to handle it all. Then, you'd drop dead.

Just how exactly were you supposed to voice that to Obi-Wan, the man who'd boasted about his ability to follow the Order's rules for years, that the only way for the both of you to survive this was to sleep together? And how were you supposed to recover from possibly finally having the man you'd wanted for so long for just one night and then never again?

"I can sense that you're keeping something from me."

Your head snapped up at his statement. He was correct, sure, but you hadn't expected him to pick up on it in his state.

So you turned around to look at him, legs crossed in front of you and back against the wall to keep yourself as far from him as possible.

"There is one solution that I know of." You confessed, still thinking of a way to tell him.

"Just tell me. I know it's troubling you. It's okay." Obi-Wan's tone was soft and comforting.

You took a deep breath in. "You won't like it."

"Do we have a choice?"

You let the breath out again. "Death."

He released a tired and humourless chuckle. "I can assure you that I'll prefer whatever solution you have to death. So tell me."

You debated what words would spook the Jedi less. Were you clinical and informative? Or soft and subtle? The sweat dripping from his temple, begging to be licked away by the tip of your tongue, was telling you to be harsh and raw with him.

Your gaze fixed on his mouth. "We have to have sex, Obi-Wan. Multiple times probably." The last part was added on for emphasis, meant to draw a reaction out of him.

He gave it to you. His already flushed cheeks reddened some more, eyes darting away from yours momentarily. It's not that the antidote was unexpected, he figured that it would lead somewhere like this considering the two of you had been contaminated by an aphrodisiac, but he thought maybe that there would be another solution. Or that you'd at least beat around the bush a little more.

Obi-Wan didn't know how to tell you that he'd never done something like that before so wouldn't even know where to start.

Little did he know that you were already well aware of that fact.

"I'll guide you through it." You paused. "But once we get started I don't think you'll need much guidance. The effects of the pollen will probably lead you."

His eyes snapped back to you, a frown pinching between them. "And what do you know of it?"

"Obi-Wan..." You mumbled, tilting your head down slightly to give him a meaningful look.

He didn't look thrilled at the notion.

You scoffed, annoyance bubbling at his obvious judgement. "We all have a past."

He knew what you meant. Sure, everyone had a past. He just didn't realise you had that sort of past. Still, he realised he had no place to pass judgement against you.

Heat pulsed between your thighs at the sudden wide-eyed apologetic look he was giving you. A groan rumbled in your chest and you squeezed your eyes shut.

"I see that this is hard for you." He whispered and you attempted to hold back a laugh thinking that this probably wasn't the only thing that was hard. "So, how about you come over here and... show me what we have to do."

You looked back at him, surprised by the boldness he was showing. Yes, he wasn't a shy man by any means but you thought he'd have been a bit less confident in this situation. Or maybe the whole thing would just be so meaningless to him that he thought it'd be easy.

Obi-Wan could feel random muscles in his body clenching as you stared at him. He'd never felt like this before. He'd always known that you were beautiful, it was impossible to ignore, but he'd never thought much else of it. But now? He couldn't do anything else apart from think about it.

You slowly pushed yourself up from your seated position and fell onto your hands and knees, too tense to stand up, and made your way towards him steadily. He was surprised to find himself practically buzzing at the sight of you crawling towards him, a ravenous look on your face. You stopped about a foot in front of him, looking up into his eyes through your eyelashes.

A hand reached out for you.

You took it.

With his help, you settled yourself over Obi-Wan's lap, a leg either side of his thighs so you straddled him. You didn't let your weight rest on him just yet, wanting to check in quickly to make sure he was okay. It was taking everything in your power not to start touching him all over despite your overactive brain basically screaming at you to do so.

His eyes moved rapidly, taking you in as he searched across your body. A hand landed on either of your hips, encouraging you to move closer to him. So you did, chest pushing slightly against his and weight pressing into his lap as you sat down. The both of you let out a sigh at the contact, pain eased for just a few moments.

It was then that you noticed you'd sat on something extremely hard.

"Is that a lightsaber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" You chuckled, about to reach down to remove the weapon from the inside of his robes.

But Obi-Wan's eyes flickered over your shoulder to somewhere behind you. Slowly, you turned to see what he was looking out, a small pinch between your eyebrows, and saw where you'd discarded your own lightsaber earlier. What you were surprised to find was his lightsaber resting up against a rock beside yours.

"Oh." You croaked and looked back at him, eyes shooting to his crotch for a brief moment. "You are just happy to see me."

"The flower." He grumbled lowly.

Your heart fell momentarily, your face along with it, before you recovered and looked downwards towards his chest. "Right, of course."

Realising he'd made a fatal mistake, Obi-Wan placed a finger under your chin and tilted your head up to make eye contact again. "A combined effect of the flower and... you."

Your mouth dropped open for a second, dazed by his statement, before a smile blossomed along your face. "There was one thing I forgot to mention."

"And what was that?" His eyes were fixed on your mouth now.

"The flower's effects are stronger and fast acting if you are already attracted to the person you're with at the time of exposure." You leaned towards him closer, the tips of your noses brushing against each other. "I expected to feel the influence at least an hour or two before you did, Master."

A soft sound, somewhere between a moan and a whine, escaped his lips at the use of the title. It surprised you, you hadn't thought he'd be into that kind of thing. You didn't give him a chance to give you a real response though, the noise he'd just made finally pushing you over the edge.

You cupped his face in your hands and kissed him, thumbs swiping over his cheeks to wipe the purple pollen away. He let out another sound at that, this one more shocked, but equally as unrestrained. Your mouth opened just in time to catch it and swallow it against your own moan at finally feeling his lips melding with yours.

Usually, in the past, you’d have some sense of patience in this situation. But it’s like the feeling of his skin under your palms and his lips against yours, your tongue in his mouth, sent the pollen vibrating in your bloodstream. And before you knew it, your hands were tearing at his clothes, absolutely desperate to get them off.

And while Obi-Wan was a little more hesitant than you, inexperience slowing him down, once he felt how eager you were he could only join in on the action. His hands were soft, almost silky, like they hadn’t ever seen a day of hard labour in his life, and they sent warm bursts of electricity through you as they slid against your skin.

All barriers between you were removed in less than a minute, although time seemed to be flying now that you’d actually gotten beyond just staring at each other and ignoring all feelings your body had been screaming at you to address.

“Do you know what comes next, Master?” You questioned, wondering how out of practice he really was.

Obi-Wan seemed to pause, taking a long thought, before saying anything. “I’ve never done this before.”

“I know.” You said and he seemed both embarrassed and surprised. “That’s not what I was asking. Do you know what happens?”

“I’ve heard things.” He admitted slowly.

Up until this point you’d been trying to avoid looking down at his naked body. Sure, the two of you had been pretty enthusiastic in taking the other’s clothes off but neither of you had verbally stated what you were comfortable with actually doing. That didn’t mean you couldn’t feel every inch of him pressing against you though. Somehow in the tumble of robe removal, you’d slid forward on his lap which had caused your torsos to connect. And you hadn’t bothered to move back again.

You searched his face for any sign of discomfort, finding none. “Can I touch you?”

He sputtered. “You already are.”

“No-“ You took a deep breath. “Can I touch you… down there?”

You were hesitant to say certain words to him, cringing at just the thought of them coming out of your mouth and entering his ears. You shouldn’t be shy about this, having done this countless times before. But now you were doing it with Obi-Wan, someone you admired with the deepest affection, it felt different. A good different but different nonetheless.

“Oh.” The flush he’d been sporting across his face stretched to meet the tip of his ears and you reached up to tuck some hair back away from them. “Yes, you can.”

You could see that the lust the flower caused had taken over all rational thought as his irises, usually so blue and bright, had been consumed by his pupils dilating. Was this a good idea, you silently wondered? Did he truly want this? Or was the flos venerem speaking for him?

Before you had the chance to ponder over that even more, the animal instincts in your brain took over and your hand was wrapping around his, pretty sizeable, cock.

He hissed at the sensation of your warm palm touching him and you observed his reaction with hungry curiosity. You liked the way his eyes fluttered closed and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip, the way his head snapped back against the cave wall and he didn’t even seem to notice that it should’ve hurt. He was too absorbed in the pleasurable way that you were touching him.

You were touching him.

Obi-Wan felt as if he were flying amongst the stars.

Your hand slid up and down his length, taking in every minor reaction he gave you to see what he liked. The answer was: he liked all of it. No matter the pace of your strokes, the pressure of your squeeze, or the angle of the twist, Obi-Wan revelled in it all.

Every sound he made caused what felt like a flood to pour from between your thighs, skin prickling with flames of desire. You increased the speed of the pumps against his shaft, feeling him twitch in your hand. Obi-Wan started babbling to himself, something you couldn’t quite understand but realised were certainly happy mumblings. It didn’t take much more until he was orgasming, cum spurting out of him in hot ropes and coating both of your stomachs.

You weren’t surprised to see that he remained hard. At least the botany books hadn’t lied to you about the multiple times thing.

“Need you inside me now, Obi-Wan.” You whispered, pleased when his eyes seemed to spark with something akin to excitement. Pushing yourself up slightly, you took him in your hand again and aligned him with your entrance. Notching him against you, you inched down onto him slowly, feeling your hips stutter willing you to go faster, and watched his face scrunch up in pleasure.

“Does that feel good?” You asked despite knowing the answer. You just wanted to hear him say something, even a noise of approval would work for you.

He nodded rapidly and whined. “Yes, yes.”

Pleasure rocketed up your spine, walls clenching around him and he whimpered again. His hips bucked up underneath you and your eyes rolled back in your head.

He did it again.

You came.

A shocked laugh escaped your throat as the orgasm rippled through. You hadn’t realised it would be that easy but given that you’d denied yourself any friction and stimulation for way too long considering the situation you were in, it only made sense.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened. “Did you just-?”

“Yes.” You sighed and rocked your hips against his, thighs still trembling with the aftershock.

“Stars-“ He gasped, head falling forward to bury his face in your neck. You smiled at the feeling of his beard scratching against your skin and moved faster.

Time became a haze, multiple orgasms rolled into a blur, and before you know it you felt like you couldn’t move anymore. Your legs ached, your body dripped with sweat and your breathing was shaky and uneven.

But you were determined for one more.

Obi-Wan gasped about it being too much but couldn’t stop himself from continuing to thrust up underneath you. Which you were thankful for considering you could feel your thighs cramping up and barely managing to support your weight. His arms locked around you, trapping you against him, as he pounded into you urgently like he was chasing something. He was really. And you could understand.

“Come on, Master, just one more.” You murmured against his temple.

It took only those words of encouragement for Obi-Wan to spill inside you once again, the feeling of that setting you off as well. And finally the two of you relaxed, the pollen’s effects wearing away.

The two of you sat against each other breathless for a moment before you eased up off of him and settled beside him. He immediately collapsed against you, sliding down until his head met your lap. You placed a hand in his hair as his breathing slowed down to a normal pace.

Now that the high had passed, guilt was setting in.

“What have I done?” Obi-Wan croaked, burying his face against your thighs.

You froze, knowing you should be feeling this same shame but not finding it in yourself to care. At least not right now. “It’s okay.”

“No!” He almost wailed. “I broke- I broke rules. Sacred Jedi code.”

“You had no choice. It was either that or death.” Tears stung at the backs of your eyeballs, willing yourself not to crack and break down. He needed you to be strong. “There was no other way.”

He knew you were right, a small seed of relief buried deep in his chest. He didn’t have another choice. But then there was another matter…

You continued to try to make him feel better. "The council will forgive you, Obi-Wan. It couldn't have been helped."

The Jedi could only nod in reply. That wasn't what worried him anymore, your logical argument had been enough to reassure him of that. What did worry him is how much he wanted it to happen again.

He glanced up at you. "What about you? Can you forgive me?"

You paused, hand stilling against the side of his head. "There's nothing to be forgiven."

"Please." He whispered against your skin. "Please just-"

It hurt you to hear the break in his voice. A man, usually so confident, reduced to this. All because of something out of his control.

You took a deep breath, stared straight ahead at the cave wall opposite you, tears in your eyes and a hand combing through his hair. "I forgive you, Obi-Wan."

A/N: I listened to Star Wars ambience on YouTube as I wrote most of this. Hope you enjoyed!

[faeome]

His

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader.

Summary: Anakin gets jealous when he sees you talking to Obi-wan. Word count: 2.6k Warnings: 18+ only! Mean!Anakin, choking, inappropriate use of force, spanking, bit of degradation, pet names, overstimulation, P in V, creampie, aftercare.

It wasn’t a surprising fact that Anakin was a jealous person. Growing up with nothing, he liked to know that he had something that was truly his. In this case you. He had been obsessed with you from the moment he first saw you. At first, he tried so hard not to break the Jedi code, but you just would not leave his mind. It all started with stolen kisses that seemed harmless back then. Anakin had a strong willpower and he would not let you break down his walls so easily. Or so he thought… Well, here you were now.

Your relationship was complicated, to say the least. Since both of you were Jedi, you were prohibited from attachment. That did not stop you from sneaking into each other’s rooms at night, when everyone was asleep though.

Obi-wan had just returned from the mission, so like a good friend, you decided to greet him. It was nothing special, just you making sure he was okay, and him cracking jokes about how Anakin was staring daggers at him.

You had not told Obi-Wan about your secret relationship with his apprentice, but it did not take a detective to figure it out. If he knew, He was quiet about it. Though, you knew he was against Anakin breaking the rules.

He would often try to get Anakin to open up about you, but he never succeeded. Anakin thought that Obi-Wan was secretly in love with you, and no matter how hard you tried to convince him that he just cared about you as a friend, he just would not accept that. For this reason, any mention of your name from his master got him irritated.

“If looks could kill, I’d be dead right now.” Obi-Wan’s voice broke you out of your thoughts

“Huh?” You replied, not realizing what he was hinting at.

“Anakin. He has been staring at me like he wants to murder me since I got here.” He explained.

“Oh,” You feigned innocence. “Is there a reason for that? Did you fight over something or-” Your blurt was cut short when you felt a cold metallic hand on your shoulder. It was Anakin.

“Your master is looking for you.” He said in a cold tone, not even looking at your face.

“What? I was just with him and he said I was free-”

“Well, you can just go and check it out since you don’t have anything better to do anyway.” He replied sarcastically, staring at Obi-Wan, who was just looking at you two, clearly amused.

You rolled your eyes, irritated at his tone. He spoke like the whole damn galaxy belonged to him.

“Well, see you later, then.” You told Obi-Wan, happy that his interrogation about you and Anakin was over, but annoyed about your master.

———————————————————————

It was already evening now. After you found out that your master was gone on a mission, and there was no way he could have wanted to see you, you were fuming. Anakin had once again lied to you and you believed it, without a doubt. You were sick of this. You were sick of his little games, and this was the last straw. That is why you decided that it was a good idea to go to his headquarters at a late hour and confront him.

You harshly opened his door, not bothering to knock. The room was dark and if you did not feel him in the force, you could have thought that he was not there.

“Anakin?” You harshly called out. He did not reply.

Once your eyes got used to the darkness, you could make out a figure standing. He was looking out of the window.

“Stop ignoring me. You are acting like a child,” you started.

You saw him turn around and heard a low chuckle, which sent goosebumps down your spine.

“Am I?” He said calmly, a little too calmly for your liking.

You turned on the bedroom lamp to see him better, the warm lightning making his face more angelic than ever. Has he always been this beautiful?

“Why did you lie to me?” You felt the anger rushing back to your body. “Do you think that you can just manipulate me at any moment? You think that I’m- I-,” You knew that you were shouting at him, but you did not care.

“That you are what?” Anakin asked.

You did not reply, not being able to form a sentence from the anger.

Anakin looked down at you, staring into your eyes. “That you are a dumb little bitch, who would let anyone touch her? Would you let Obi-Wan touch you the way I do, huh? Would you let him fuck you?” His voice was laced with venom.

Your face turned red from anger, did he really think so low of you?

You did not realize what was happening when you slapped him in the face with all your strength. The slap echoed in the silence of the room.

Anakin touched his face where you had slapped him, looking down at you with a sinister gaze. He grabbed your arms, roughly shoving you into the wall.

“Do that again.” He growled in your ear. “I dare you to do that again and see what happens Y/N.” He repeated.

His body was against you, pressing you against the wall so you could not move. He let go of your arms, easily taking your wrists into his metallic hand and holding them behind your back.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Anakin grabbed your face with his flash hand, squeezing your cheeks roughly and making you tilt your head upwards so you could look at him.

“You do not talk back to me. You do what I tell you to do, and you never ever slap me again.” He lowered his head to your ear. His voice sent goosebumps down your spine, making you wet. You were not gonna give in that easily, though. You were still so angry at him.

“Fuck you.” You said, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“Oh, you will sweetheart,” he replied.

“Fuck you Anakin,” You repeated. “You don’t tell me what to do. We aren’t even together.” You saw him clench his jaw at that. “I can do whatever I want to do. And if I want to fuck Obi-Wan, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do, or maybe I already did. Maybe I fuck him. What are you gonna do about it?” You heard him chuckle. That was not a good sign.

He suddenly stopped, turning ever so serious.

“You fuck him, huh? Is that true?” He questioned you and you could feel him trying to get in your mind with his force. You were not weak though, you were gonna resist.

“Maybe it is, so what?” Anakin did not seem amused anymore, he was staring down at you angrily, like a predator.

“Listen Ani…” you started to explain, not wanting to go too far when you felt a pressure on your throat. He was choking you with the force. You opened and closed your mouth, desperately trying to breathe, but Anakin did not seem fazed at all. He looked amused like this was entertaining to him. The pressure was only getting stronger and you felt the strength leaving your body.

“A-Anakin p-please,” you begged him.

He took advantage of your weakened state and forced his way into your mind. You felt him digging dip in your thoughts and only when you felt like passing out did he let go.

You fell on the floor, once his strong hands were not supporting your weight anymore. Your breaths came out shallow. Your throat was burning and you were almost shaking. You tried to stand up, but your legs felt like jelly.

Anakin came towards you and looked down at your disheveled state. “You are a bad girl. You know that, right?” He crouched down and touched your chin to make you look up at him. “Speak when you are spoken to,” he growled.

“I know.” You replied weakly.

“Good.” He sat on the bed. His legs were spread widely and you could see his sculpted chest from his half-open robe. “C’mere,” he said softly patting his lap.

You stood up and went towards him, standing between his legs. His head was at the level of your chest and you could see him looking at you passionately.

"Well, you need an invitation?” He tugged on your wrist making you sit on his lap. You could feel his hard dick pressing into your ass. “You were talking big just a few minutes ago. What happened? Cat got your tongue?” He was taunting you.

“Shut up, Anakin.” You managed to say.

“I’d watch my language if I were you, doll.” He replied and opened your shirt, tossing it on the floor. His flesh hand was wrapped around your waist tightly, so you could not move. You were not wearing a bra, so he did not waste any time. He started sucking and biting on your nipples, making you hiss. “ ‘M gonna need you to lie down with your ass up.” He said with a final slap on your hardened nipples.

“No, I don’t want to.” You protested.

“I never asked if you wanted it, now, did I?” He replied, hinting for you to lay down.

You did as you were told. You laid on his legs and arched your waist a bit. You knew what was gonna happen and you were guilty to admit that it excited you.

He lifted up your skirt and tore your soaked panties with his metallic hand. “Count,” he ordered and you knew better than to resist.

You could not stop yourself from screaming out when you felt his metallic hand connect with your bare ass. “fuck” you cursed.

“Watch your fucking language.” Anakin warned you. “And fucking count, do not make me say it again.”

“one,” you murmured. You could feel the smirk that was glued on his face. You jumped at every slap, your ass was stinging and you were sure it was bruised.

“Twenty,” Your eyes were tearing and you were breathing as if you ran a damn marathon.

“Such a good girl,” he praised, smoothing your reddened ass. He finally let you go. You were now sitting on his leg, his one hand around your waist again, his metallic one teasing your entrance. His cold fingers started circling your clit slowly.

“You are so damn wet. Does me spanking your ass turn you on?” You whimpered. “I asked you a question.”

“You turn me on Ani, no one else but you.” You tried to reach his face, but he roughly grabbed your hand. “You were such a bad girl, doll. You don’t get to touch me unless I say you can.” You sighed.

"On the bed now! On your knees.” He ordered. You did as you were told, getting on your knees on the bed and arching your back. You could hear him taking off his clothes and you involuntarily clenched your legs together, getting even wetter if that was possible.

He grabbed your hair, shoving you down on the bed so you could not move. You could feel the tip of his cock teasing your entrance and you closed your eyes, getting ready for the sensation.

His metallic hand was on your hip, his grip so hard that you were sure it would bruise. He slammed his hips into yours, entering you in one swift motion, without a warning. You yelped, trying to pull your head up a bit, but his grip was stronger, not letting you move.

“Shit,” he moaned, fastening the pace.

“Ani, slow down, please,” You begged, but to no avail.

“Shut your mouth” he growled, making you clench around him. “Fuck, you’re so tight." Both of you were moaning in sync.

“Ani, I’m close,” you moaned out, trying to hold your orgasm.

“Don’t fucking cum,” he ordered, emphasizing his words with a brutal slam of his hips.

You tried so hard not to, but it was too much. His big dick was hitting your cervix every time he moved his hips and the sounds he made were turning you on even more. With a loud moan, you came around his cock, your walls pulsating around his thick length.

“Shiiit,” he drawled. “I told you not to fucking cum, but you just don’t listen, do you?” He gripped your neck and pulled you up, pressing your back against his chest. The new position made his dick reach even further inside you and you were so full of him that you felt like passing out. His flash hand was around your neck, choking you. His other hand was massaging your breasts roughly. He was pounding into you like an animal in heat.

“A-Anakin, s’ too much, slow d-down.” Your eyes were filled with tears from the overstimulation. He was choking you so hard that you could hardly speak.

“Shut up,” he whispered in your ear, sucking on your pulse point. “Your heart is hammering doll, this must be hard for you.” He pointed out. You just moaned as an answer. “Being left at my mercy like this, not being able to resist me, to stop me,” he continued, tightening his grip on your throat even more.

He was everywhere, touching you in every place. It was all too much. You had no strength left. Your head was slumped against his shoulder and all you could do was moan. You could feel a heat gathering in your core again. You wished you could touch his face, but you knew better than that.

“You can touch me.” He whispered in your ear, biting on your earlobe.

“Get out of my head,” You panted, embarrassed that he knew what you were thinking about.

“Your thoughts are just too loud.” He smirked, snapping his hips harder into you.

You softly touched his face, your fingers tracing the scar on his eyebrow. “I’m gonna cum,” you moaned.

“Shit, me too,” Anakin agreed. He was still hammering into you. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum inside you.” You moaned at his words.

He tilted his head towards you and kissed you hungrily. His tongue was into your mouth, exploring every inch of it. You bit his lip making him hiss.

“Tell me you love me.” He panted, looking at you with an intense gaze.

“I love you Anakin, more than anything. I really do.”

He closed his eyes, focusing on your words. “Say that again.”

“I love you so much,” you repeated, your cheeks reddening.

“You’re mine, only mine.” He moaned into your ear. you nodded.

“Say it.” He ordered.

“I’m yours Ani. I want only you, no one else, but you.” You could feel your walls clenching at the confessions. The second orgasm was way more intense than the first. Anakin followed you, his dick twitching, painting your walls white. He kissed you, swallowing your moans.

When he pulled out, you collapsed on the bed. You were so tired, that you could hardly open your eyes. You could feel the cum leaking out of your hole, but you did not care. Anakin lay beside you. He was spooning you. Your back was against his bare chest and his hand was protectively wrapped around your waist. He started playing with your hair.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked in a low tone.

“No… well, yeah, but in a good way, I guess,” you replied. He hummed.

“I hate when you talk to him,” He confessed, hinting at the earlier conversation you had with Obi-Wan.

“I know, Ani, but he’s my friend. You can’t prohibit me from doing so.”

“yeah, I know,” he said and kissed your temple. “that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.”

you sighed at his stubbornness.

“Next time though, if I see you chitchatting with him, I’m gonna fuck both your holes so hard that you won’t be walking for a week.”

“Is that a promise Skywalker?” You turned to him raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, it is,” he smirked.

______________________________________________________________

A/N: Part two? 👀 Also, requests are open so feel free to send some in...You can see who I write for in my masterlist. As always, feedback is appreciated.

[saphronethaleph]

Sibling Comparisons

Leia rose from her bed, confused, as the door hissed open.

Something seemed off about the situation, she could feel it. But she didn’t want to tip her hand – and a moment’s thought turned up an answer.

“Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” she asked, thinking about minimum-height requirements that had been instituted in the days of transition from the clone army and never been rescinded.

“What?” the ‘trooper replied. “Oh, the uniform.”

He took off his helmet. “My name’s Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.”

Leia did a double-take.

“What is Kenobi thinking?” she asked. “He brought my brother here?”

Luke practically fell over.

“Brother!?” he asked. “But – you’re a princess-”

“Yes, yes, excellent cover identity, sheer audacity,” Leia replied. “Nobody would suspect the Senator for Alderaan, and if you’re going by Skywalker then the same idea must be in play for you. Where’s Kenobi? Is he going by Ben or Obi-Wan these days?”

“We were coming to Alderaan,” Luke said. “Ben’s off shutting down the tractor beam so we can leave – look, what do you mean, brother?”

“We can talk about that later,” Leia replied, striding past her brother to the door of the cell. “What’s your exfiltration plan?”

“My what?” Luke asked. “...we’ve got your R2 unit?”

“Hey, farmboy!” a voice called from up the detention block corridor, accompanied by the sound of blasters firing. “We’ve got company!”

Leia sighed. “Where’s R2-D2?” she asked. “He should be able to get us out of this.”

“About… what, ten floors above us?” Luke guessed, then a wookiee joined them along with someone else in stormtrooper armour.

“We’re not getting out that way,” the man said.

“I don’t suppose you brought a spare blaster for me?” Leia asked. “Is there another way out?”

“Let me check with Threepio,” Luke said, reaching for his comlink. “Seriously? You’re my sister?”

“Right now I’m mostly hoping I’m better at planning than you,” Leia shot back, as blaster bolts flashed down the corridor.

“...well, that worked, eventually,” Leia muttered, brushing herself off as they exited the trash compactor. “Which is a marked improvement on your way of getting us out of here, I have to point out.”

“I’m still waiting on an explanation,” Luke protested. “How can you be my sister?”

“What, you want me to draw a diagram?” Han asked.

Chewbacca roared something.

“Hey, he’s from Tatooine, it’s not an animal farm,” Han protested. “He might just not know.”

“That’s not what I mean!” Luke objected, flushing.

“We’re twins,” Leia replied. “Both of us were put into hiding because being known descendants of Anakin Skywalker is a serious health hazard, beyond just being Skywalkers which is separate… how much training did Ben give you?”

“A few hours,” Luke replied. “On the flight to Alderaan.”

“What was he doing with his time?” Leia asked. “My tutor is literally a state secret without any hands-”

She stopped, swallowing.

“Was, now,” she said, before shaking herself. “Anyway, I could only learn from him while on break on Alderaan and I still got a lot more training than that…”

Han made a curious noise.

“What are you talking about, exactly?” he said. “More of this force nonsense?”

“Where did you dig him up?” Leia asked her brother, with a sardonic eyebrow. “He looks old enough to remember the Clone Wars.”

Chewbacca sniggered.

“Laugh it up,” Han countered. “The Clone Wars weren’t that long ago.”

“That’s my point,” Leia replied, sharply. “The Clone Wars had the Jedi literally leading armies-”

She shook herself. “Okay, we need to focus. How exactly did you plan to get off this thing?”

“Once the tractor beam is down, we’ll be able to just fly right out of here,” Luke volunteered. “Han’s ship is more than it looks – which isn’t hard.”

“Hey!” Han protested.

“Well, if you’ve got Chewbacca with you, that’s a good sign at least,” Leia said, then held up her hand. “Wait – not this way, that way.”

“Based on what?” Han asked.

“That thing you don’t believe in,” Leia replied. “Master Windu couldn’t teach me to fight but he could teach me to avoid trouble…”

[honeybubblebeeeeee]

Anakin/Obi Wan/Kylo and trying to look at you without you noticing

You have never really spoken to them but they are still finding the courage to go talk to you. Staring at you will have to do. ANAKIN SKYWALKER

He is way too obvious about it.

Anakin would stare directly at you without a care in the world.

You would feel like you were being watched only to turn around and eventually come face to face with Anakin. He'd simply smirk at you, stare a moment longer then look away slowly.

OBI WAN KENOBI

He was more subtle when it came to trying to see you.

Obi Wan would peak at you from the corner of his eye when in the presence of others.

On the outside he seemed like he tightly followed the rules but that was only on the outside.

If you happen to look his way while he was trying to take a glimpse of you he would simply act as if he was just surveying the room.

KYLO REN

MASKED

He would stare at you endlessly behind the mask. It wasn't like you could see.

It did feel like someone was watching but you rarely could tell who.

In some cases he would turn his head completely towards you in the mask, enjoying the flushed look on your face when you noticed and quickly looked away.

UNMASKED

He was a little more reserved.

He still had no problem staring directly at you, it was more his own face that he had to worry about now.

His eyes would scan your face when you weren't looking, if you noticed him he would hold your stare before clenching his jaw and turning away. Only to stop himself from smiling.

(also send requests! i appreciate them they help smmmm with writers block <3)

[thesassypadawan]

Your Boys (Knight Anakin x PadawanFemReader x Master Obi-Wan)

Summary: After letting Anakin talk you into a quickie…and then another…you’re caught in the act by your master, Obi-Wan. You’re so sure that he’s going to be pissed that you’re totally shocked when he joins Ani and you. Guess you’ll just have to let your boys take care of you.

Warnings: 18+ (minors dni), because all the lovely smut. Threesome and Ani and Obi’s big dicks. Padawan reader is of age.

“And what makes you think master won’t be here?” You asked Anakin with amusement.

“Trust me,” Ani replied smugly. “With how thorough his reports are, he’ll be debriefing the council for hours.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” you giggled. Tapping your code into the keypad, the door to yours and Obi-Wan’s shared quarters slid open to reveal…

Pulling you inside, Ani hurriedly tinkered with the other keypad. The door had barely shut before he had you pinned against it. “See, what did I tell you,” he muttered, nipping at your neck. “No pesky master to bother us.”

“Ani,” you whined, melting under his touch. “That still doesn’t mean he won’t show up at any minute.”

His hand slid down to your breast, squeezing gently. “Then we’ll make it fast…I promise.”

Knowing you’d probably regret it later; you sighed in defeat. “Fine, but just one quickie.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was, of course, not just one quickie. Anakin and his kriffing silver tongue talked you into one more…then another. Until you were moaning uncontrollably and so blissed-out that you lost all track of time.

“Little one, is everything all right?” Came the sound of Obi-Wan’s worried voice from outside your bedroom door.

Snapping back to reality, you stilled on Ani’s lap. With your mind and heart racing, you stupidly began to reply, but stopped when he placed a large hand over your mouth. ‘Not a sound, angel,’ he warned through your bond.

Grateful that one of you had a clear enough head, you did as Anakin said and remained silent. That’s why you were so shocked when he slowly started thrusting into you again and boldly answered. “Yes, master; never better!”

A wave of confusion came flooding down Obi’s and your training bond. “Anakin, what are you-” Then your master came storming in.

And so, there you sat. Wide-eyed and absolutely terrified. All the while with Ani’s fat cock buried deep inside your ass.

You were certain that Ob-Wan was going to be furious, that he was going to have Anakin and you thrown out of the order for this. Instead, a smirk crossed his face and he said a rather smooth, “Hello there.”

Before you could fully process what had just occurred, your master surprised you even further by removing his clothes. “I see you’ve begun the fun without me,” he playfully said, eyes glued on you.

“Sorry, master,” Anakin chuckled. “I just couldn’t resist your padawan’s tight little ass.” He emphasized that last part with a good, hard thrust, making you moan softly.

Obi’s thick cock twitched in interest. “So uncivilized,” he jokingly remarked and came to join you two on the bed.

‘This has to be some kind of dream.’

Placing his hand on your side, Obi-Wan gently trailed along your curves and up to cup your face. His lips capturing yours in a brief, fiery kiss. “I reassure you, padawan of mine, this is all very real. We both very much want you.”

You leaned into his touch, nuzzling his palm affectionately. You had secretly fantasized about a moment like this. Especially when watching both men spar with one another. Sweat glistening on their toned bodies, muscular arms effortlessly swinging their lightsabers. The thought had you clenching around Anakin’s hard length.

A pleased rumble came from Ani’s chest, his lips brushed against your ear. “So, what do you say, hatari? Care to give it a try?”

You looked to your master for guidance, but he shook his head. “It’s whatever you want, dear one. Just know, we’re here to take care of your every need.”

Your face heated and you bit your lip nervously. “Yes, please…want you boys too.”

“That’s our girl,” Anakin whispered. His hand finding your neglected pussy and sliding a finger gently into your tight hole.

Meanwhile, Obi pulled you in for another passionate kiss. His hands roaming your body. Groping at your chest. Mouth finding your neck; biting at your sensitive skin, marking you for all to see.

Ani eased another finger into you, pumping slowly. Soothingly stroking your side as he started thrusting lazily. A small whimper escaping you.

Obi-Wan made his way down to your chest. Kissing each breast tenderly and sucking your nipples softly. The plethora of sensations nearly overwhelming.

“Angel,” Anakin muttered, his husky voice making you shiver. “Think you can take one more?”

You nodded and mewled as another one of Ani’s thick fingers slipped inside of you. “So full.”

Capturing your lips again, Obi begged for entrance into your mouth. His hand snaking down to attend to your throbbing clit. Fingers gliding between your folds, swirling and rubbing your little nub.

You panted as Anakin stretched you out so wonderfully, while Obi-Wan made you writhe with his heated touches. “Master,” you whined against his lips. “Please, can’t wait any longer…need you both inside of me.”

Hearing your words, Ani eased his fingers out and took hold of Obi’s cock. Generously coating him with your slick, your master hummed his thanks.

“As you wish,” Obi-Wan whispered. Anakin then wrapped his arms around your waist and carefully tilted backwards, while Obi gently spread your legs open.

Obi teased your soaking cunt with his bulbous head. “Is this all because of us, love? Do we really make you this wet?”

Maker, was he a big one. “Yes,” you whimpered. “All because of you two.”

Ani gave you a small squeeze. “Ready, sweetheart? Because this is where the fun begins.”

You nodded weakly and Obi shifted his hips forward, pressing into your welcoming heat. Making the three of you let out soft cries and moans at the sensation. Never had you felt this full, each of your holes so tight from being so deliciously stuffed.

Obi-Wan pulled you into a warm kiss as he began pumping in and out of your pussy. “Stars, you feel divine.”

Anakin groaned, feeling Obi’s cock moving inside your other greedy, little hole. Rocking his hips slowly back and forth in sync with your master’s own thrusts. Your mind hazy from the pleasurable combination.

Breaking the kiss, Obi-Wan let out a low growl and quickened his pace. “So perfect, darling.”

Your head fell back onto Ani’s shoulder, mewling desperately and whimpering both of their names. You felt drunk with ecstasy, impaled by their huge cocks. You whined as you felt the familiar heat pooling inside your belly. Your boys groaning as your holes fluttered around them.

Tears began to fill your eyes as you once more felt fingers at your clit. With a quick glance down, you saw that it was Ani and Obi. Their hands laced together as they mercilessly played with you, pushing you towards your orgasm. Your sight blurring as they sped up, nearing their own releases.

“Where do you want us, angel?” Anakin growled, nipping at your neck.

A moan fell from your lips at the thought of them filling you up even more. “Inisde, please! Give me it all! Need it all inside of me!”

Both let out a loud groan and each buried their faces in one of your shoulders…as they painted your insides white.

You reeled at the feeling of them pumping you so impossibly full. And cried out their names one last time, before falling quiet. Your body twitching from the occasional aftershock of being so thoroughly fucked.

You had no clue how long the three of you sat there, trying to catch your breath and big smiles on all your faces. Except that it was Obi-Wan who first broke the comfortable silence with a hardy chuckle. “Another happy landing.”

“I’d say so,” you giggled.

“You were amazing, hatari,” Anakin cooed, stroking your side tenderly.

“Yes, absolutely wonderful, dear one,” Obi praised, kissing your lips softly. “So glad Anakin talked me into doing this little rendezvous.”

Your eyes grew wide in surprise. A dozen thoughts and emotions raced through your mind. You probably should have been furious or embarrassed, maybe even yelled. Instead, you let out a content sigh and shook your head. “What am I going to do with you two?”

“Love us unconditionally,” Obi-Wan suggested sweetly.

“Stay with us always,” Anakin added cutely.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me,” you replied happily. “And maybe a round two would be nice too.”

The words had barely left your mouth, before you were unceremoniously pulled down to the mattress…with both of your boys still very much hard and buried deep inside of you.

[antianakin]

I need scary Jedi. But not like... in a "RAAAAAAGGGGHHHH! I'M SCARY!" way. More like.... you're a bounty hunter after your target, you have killed Wookies, Gundarks, and many other dangerous species. The target? They are wearing robes, playing with children. Laughing and helping others. Sure they have a lightsaber, but you brought a slugthrower. Those are supposed to be effective against them. You line up a shot and... they're looking at you. They are smiling in such a friendly manner. But all you can feeling is cold. You suddenly realize, you're not the most dangerous person there. I just want more bad guys getting the shit scared out of them when they realize a Jedi is here to stop them.

I could see that for someone who's likely never MET a Jedi before and so all they know are the legends and stories they've heard.

I feel like this happens a lot less for Prequels Jedi because, even if there's fairly few of them and not everyone will even MEET a Jedi in their lifetime, they are still a known culture. You might not expect to see a Jedi in the street, but you wouldn't think it was impossible to see a Jedi in the street, either, necessarily. And you probably think you have a fairly good idea of what the Jedi are and what they do and why they might be on the street in the first place.

But it DOES happen to people like Luke. By the time Luke comes around, the Jedi have been nearly erased from the galaxy's memory. All that's left are some stories and those stories are likely highly exaggerated and they've gone through many different retellings that embellish and add things that never existed in reality. NO ONE expects a Jedi to show up anywhere because they're all supposed to be GONE. No one even believes the Force exists really and if they do see a Jedi, they probably think that the magical abilities they have are just made up. So when Luke starts using the Force to make things float or read people's minds or whatever, it's probably VERY unnerving. I know there's some comics where that comes up, even among some of the rebels he fights with. People ARE scared of Luke, even if they're fighting alongside him instead of against him, because he's something they can't understand and shouldn't exist.

There is a scene sort-of similar to what I think you're talking about in the films, and it is actually in the Prequels. It's when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon start fighting back on the Trade Federation's ship at the beginning of TPM. Neither Nute Gunray nor the other Neimoidian with him have ever met a Jedi and they clearly underestimate what the Jedi are capable of doing and overcoming. So when the Jedi start fighting their way through the ship, both Neimoidians start getting REALLY scared. The moment when they close the blast doors and think that that'll DEFINITELY keep them out and then Qui-Gon just shoves the lightsaber in again and starts melting the door from the center shows that very clearly. The moment where Obi-Wan catches Zam Wesell in the bar during AOTC could be another example, too, I guess.

This is supposed to be the Jedi at the peak of their power, their Golden Age of sorts, so it makes sense that this is when we see them able to really fight back in this way. After this, from AOTC on, the Jedi are often struggling against forces they can't quite overcome, and we need to see that so that it doesn't feel crazy when they're ultimately defeated in the end.

It's an interesting concept, the idea of the Jedi being a little frightening sometimes, because I feel like there's layers to it. With the Prequel Jedi, it's more about people underestimating them because the Jedi ARE more known and so their enemies often think that they can get the upper hand on one even if they've never actually done it before. But in the Original Trilogy era, especially with characters like Luke, it's the opposite problem, where Jedi are such an unknown quantity now that anything they do is a little frightening, even to people who aren't their enemies, because there's just no context for them to use to understand what the Jedi are and what they can do. They're SO Other that it becomes scary even if the Jedi in question is on your side or trying to save you.

This seems to be less of a thing in Disney canon for some reason. Kanan, Ezra, Ahsoka, and Cal seem to experience this very little if at all. Luke doesn't even seem to engender that kind of response when he makes his grand entrance in the season two finale of The Mandalorian (obviously Bo-Katan and Fennec would be more familiar with Jedi, but Din is not and should've had a MUCH more freaked out reaction to what a fully trained adult Jedi is capable of doing). Maybe it'll come back one day.

[panic-in-the-multiverse]

Attachment of a Child [part 1]

Pairings: Obi-Wan Kenobi x child!reader (includes Kit Fisto)

Imagine: one of the children in the Jedi temple seems to have formed an attachment to Obi-Wan and follows him around all over the temple whenever he’s there

Warnings: fluff, Obi-Wan hugs, Obi-Wan taking care of a child (that needs a warning for real), Obi accidentally adopted you, otherwise none, I think, it’s just fluff, Not proofread

A/N I couldn’t stop myself from writing this, it just came to me randomly and I had to write it, I don’t even know if it’s good or not I just had to write it bc just imagine Obi-Wan being followed by a child who copies his movements, that’s so adorable 🥰 <3

If you have any ideas for Obi-Wan x padawan!reader (platonic obviously) please feel free to send them to me, I love writing Obi-Wan x padawan

The first time Obi-Wan had stepped into the room filled with younglings after “defeating” Darth Maul, he wasn’t too surprised when he saw all of the children’s eyes light up. Big eyes stared at him with amazement and wonder, as well as curiosity and excitement.

The now Jedi master had gained some kind of fame with the younglings ever since he became a master and defeated a Sith Lord. Not to say that the children didn’t love him before (they sure did), but now they all seemed to look up to him as some sort of war hero. Look at him for wisdom more so than the other masters, Yoda being the exception.

One youngling in particular had taken a shine to the newly made master. You. Obi-Wan had nothing against you, he quite liked taking care of you from time to time, it was a distraction from all the chaos in the galaxy at the moment. He found it rather calming and he would never say no to teaching anyone something new, especially younglings who had the curiosity that could go on for forever. You were no different from those younglings except you didn’t ask your questions (too shy to do it) but rather listened intently to any information Obi-Wan would tell the class. It was one of the reasons why you loved classes with Master Kenobi. He was calm and could talk for hours and had most of the answers to all of your classmates questions (therefore your questions were answered as well, for the most part).

Nights were often spent with the younglings as he told them one of his many stories from another planet. He lulled them to sleep with his calm voice as he talked about facts he picked up from his reading about the planet, or missions he had with Anakin or his former master. Obi-Wan hadn’t stopped you when you crawled up onto his lap, nor did he stop any other of the younglings as they cuddled into the warmth he radiated to their sleepy forms.

More than one time you had been the child to sit on his lap, for some reason the Master nearly always picked you up and placed you on his lap, or he just let you plant yourself on his lap without a single complaint. He knew he made your anxieties calm down as he let you cuddle into his side. If he could help the younglings in any way, he would to the best of his abilities. He was once one himself after all and knew how the life of a youngling could be. The anxiety that could be brought to any of them at any moment if they failed, the strict rules or the doubt they felt, the rumors of danger. Especially with what everyone knew was an upcoming war and the betrayal of Dooku and the death of Darth Maul. Along with those rumors and facts they were supposed to study and become a future Jedi while not forming attachments and nor were they allowed to act on their emotions, especially the fear and anger that they felt. So yes, Obi-Wan would gladly let you sit on his lap if it helped you calm down while he told you and the other children a story before they were supposed to sleep.

It’s safe to say that it wasn’t uncommon for any one in the temple to see any of the younglings run up to Obi-Wan for help, especially if something troubled them. Nor was it uncommon to see you walking beside the master. Which was what happened today.

Obi-Wan had just walked past the room in which you and your classmates had just finished up your first lesson of the day. Some of the younglings had already rushed out of the room before Master Yoda could even finish his sentence, you were one among them. You had felt Obi-Wan’s force signature and you saw him through the slightly opened door walk past the room and you had sprinted out of the room not willing to lose him in the many halls of the temple. Luckily for you the temple was relatively empty at this time in the morning so it didn’t take you too long to find the brown cloak and his auburn hair among those walking the corridors.

The Jedi Master heard small feet sprint towards him but he made no indication of turning around towards the person or to wait for the child to catch up, he already knew it was you, how could he not, he was way too familiar with your force signature. He knew where you were at any time of the day, your force signature rather strong for a child.

If he had turned around he would have seen that you had mimicked his actions. You put your hand behind your back like he had done, you tried to walk in his pace as well as in the same way he walked. This proved quite hard even if the master had slowed down a tad bit for you as he felt you walking beside him, but the long strides were still too fast for a child to catch up entirely to. Any Jedi master that walked past the two of you thought they saw a mini kenobi as you mimicked his every action, even when he rubbed against his beard (even though you didn’t have beard yourself you still did it)

“Hello Master Kenobi” In watching Obi-Wan and trying to mimic him you had completely forgotten to look at where you were going and so you didn’t notice when Obi-Wan stopped in front of Kit Fisto.

“Hello Master Fisto” Kenobi answered politely, giving a smile back towards Master Fisto who gave his signature charming smile. By the time Obi-Wan said that you had looked up and the Nautolan turned towards you as he noticed you standing next to the jedi master you were still mimicking. He studied you for a second, a puzzled look grazed his future before his smile was back.

“And hello to you too youngling, I see you’ve taken a shine to Master Kenobi” A blush spread itself over your cheeks as you got called out by the Jedi in front of you.

The words stumbled out of you as you quietly said “Hello Master Fisto”.

After the words left you, you hid away behind Kenobi's robes not wanting anyone to see your embarrassed state. To this Obi-Wan, like a natural instinct, put his left arm to shield you. Kit Fisto’s reaction to this was what every jedi had told you and Obi-Wan a lot of times before.

“Be careful with the young one Obi-Wan, they might become a bit too attached to you otherwise”

The master like everyone else knew you were already attached towards the master that you hid behind. He could have stopped it all, right there and then, so could Obi-Wan and the rest of the order, but somehow they allowed it, they let it slide by them, if they didn’t see anything then it wasn’t their problem, and if they saw they opted to ignore it. You were like a bright shining cyber crystal in the temple as you cutely followed the auburn haired master around. And it seemed like everyone needed something bright at the moment, with the darker times that were approaching. No, Kit Fisto wouldn’t be the one to stop your attachment towards the newest member of the council, but what he could do was give a warning. He did not want an innocent child or Obi-Wan to fall, not that either of you would, but he could still give the occasional reminders, like Master Windu seemed to give away way too many times.

You were attached, and nothing would stop that. Obi-Wan noticed when he looked down at you, that you were still mimicking his movements. He gave you a fond smile as he studied your stance. You stood in the same posture as him and frankly you looked like a mini him, not that he complained about it, Obi-Wan found it quite amusing how you seemed to want to act like him any chance you got. Not only was it amusing to him but he found it adorable. But so was the thought of every other person in the Jedi temple who had seen you walk after the Jedi master any chance you got since you got old enough to walk.

[split-spectrum]

Water and Rock

Chapter 11

Pairings: Obi Wan/FemReader

Warnings/Tags: slow burn, explicit content, SMUT

Chapter Length: 6K

Description: There are only so many excuses a master and padawan can make to kiss under "extenuating circumstances" before circumstances stop arising and start being created. You are an expert at your craft - a Jedi knight in service as a spy for the Republic. When your former master Obi Wan joins you on a mission, it's clear things aren't the same as they once were. The trials you face together may break your bond, or turn it into something else entirely.

☆☆☆

You stare at the door for a long time after it closes. 

When the shock starts to wear off, the regret seeps in. There's so much more you should have asked him; so much you should have told him. Instead of almost silently accepting the end of your friendship, why hadn't you tried to make him slow down and talk to you?

Your eyes drift downward as you feel the truth settle into the pit of your stomach: You'd known as well as he had, saying anything more would only have led to further pain.

As you turn away, your blank gaze slides from the door and falls to the small table nearby. On top of the table, you keep a little bowl with trinkets and a few scrap pieces for your speeder bike. Beside these items sits a heap of cloth, which you don't recognize. You draw nearer, noticing that it's wrapped neatly around a cylindrical object. Picking it up and pulling back the cloth, you're taken aback to see the hilt of a lightsaber. Your lightsaber. 

You slide it out of the fabric, feeling the weight of it in your hand for a moment, then place it delicately down on the tabletop just to stare at it. 

You'd been facing Dooku when you'd lost it, completely on the opposite side of the outpost from where you'd been rescued. He would have been the only one there to retrieve it. And yet, he'd told you at that time he'd believed you were dead. 

Your chest suddenly aches. 

You tell yourself not to think about him, fleeing for his own life, half-dead himself, but stopping to pick up the only remnant he'd thought he would have of your existence.

Facing away from the table, you shut your eyes and do the same thing you've been doing for the past two days - immersing yourself in the force with a fervent determination you've never known before.

Your eyes flutter open again. You look out the window. The snow whirls. 

Despite your better judgment - despite the fact that you know he'll feel it - you reach into the force and try to sense him. His speeder should be halfway back to base by now. You might not sense him at all. But you want to try.

To your immense surprise, you feel him instantly, his presence not halfway back to base as expected. In fact, he's not far away at all. 

Pacing back to the door as quickly as your legs can carry you, you pull the handle and wince as the spray of icy wind crashes against your face again. His figure emerges slowly from the white abyss, one of his arms upheld to break the lashes of snow whipping around him. He's only a few feet away, but it's still hard to make out the shape of him through the dense flakes of ice.

"I don't suppose," he shouts over the rising gusts, "I could trouble you for a ride back to the main base?"

You wrap one arm around yourself, shivering and leaning out of the doorway to wave him in. "Come inside!"

He finishes his trek, entering your house once again,  and you swiftly close the door behind him. After catching his breath, he lowers his hood again and sighs. 

"I'm sorry to impose. I didn't realize the storm would be so..." He gestures to the window to indicate the ferocity of the wind beating away at your home. "The speeder bike I rented can hardly lift off the ground."

You give a shake of your head. "You aren't imposing. I don't think anyone expected it to be this bad. But I can't give you a ride back to base. I loaned my ship to a friend off world." 

When he raises a brow, you shrug. "They needed a ship, and I didn't expect to be leaving anytime soon. My speeder is all I have at the moment."

Brushing a hand through the front of his snow-dusted hair, he sends a worried look off to the side. You stand, a bit stiffly, not quite knowing what to do or say. You try another solution. "I suppose you'll need to call someone at base for a pick up."

He doesn't answer for a few beats. Then he shrugs off his coat again, placing it gently on the bench. He seems to hesitate when looking downward, and you realize he must have noticed that you'd found your lightsaber. 

He flicks his gaze back up to you. "I would prefer not to. This trip wasn't exactly... above board."

You'd started to back toward the kettle you'd had boiling before his arrival, but that makes you stop in your tracks. "Oh?"

You pose it half as a question, half as a statement, not wanting to force an explanation. He clears his throat, though, correctly reading your tone as curious.

"I was meant to deliver a mission report on Coruscant, then return to the Gaulus sector for further duties. But I left my duties in the hands of Commander Cody for the time being, and I... took a short leave. For my health."

"I... see," you answer, turning away and walking to the stovetop, fiddling with the knobs while you process his words. His second lie of omission to the council. You consider this, not saying anything in return. 

He hovers at your home's entrance, and you both listen as the long-range holocomm goes off again, detailing the inclement weather. The storm is worsening. 

The kettle is warm again by the time the report ends, and when you turn back to him with a reheated cup of tea, he gratefully accepts it, taking a seat in your kitchen when you motion for him to do so.

"Isn't there a friend you could call?" you ask, sitting down across from him at the small table. "Someone you trust not to share your... change in plans?"

He strokes a hand down his chin just once, shaking his head. "Anakin is on assignment, several days away."

It's been a long time since you'd heard mention of Mace Windu's former padawan. The young war hero had very nearly become Obi Wan's padawan when they'd first met, but the council had seen the bond between the two following Qui Gon's untimely death and had thought it better not to encourage their closeness, placing him with Master Windu instead. An unlikely friendship had still unfolded, despite their efforts, and you'd often joked that the Skywalker boy had always been Obi Wan's second padawan.

You want to ask more about Anakin, but that sort of lighthearted talk doesn't seem relevant at the moment. Instead, you sip your tea and think. 

You try to keep your eyes locked onto the drink in your hand, instead of roaming across the lines in his face. His features are drawn down, stern and contemplative, and you want to paint over every inch of him, getting a second chance at your last encounter. 

Clearing your throat, you try to force nonchalance into your voice. "Well, these storms don't usually last long. A few hours, or a day at most. You're welcome to stay until-"

You quiet down on the word "until", both of you listening as the holocomm goes off again, this time with an even more severe warning. The storm is now expected to last nearly a full rotation. Neither of you makes a comment right away, though the shift in energy is palpable. Ilum's rotations are sixty-six hours. 

When the broadcast ends, Obi Wan's eyes flicker up to yours with a far-off look. They're a little dulled, his expression restrained and distant. It's the look he often holds when giving orders. The look that duty brushes over him.

"Perhaps I will make a call, after all."

Standing up, you start to make your way over to the holocomm to help him dial out, but you freeze in place when the lights cut out, and the low electronic hum throughout your home suddenly drops into silence. You look around the darkened room, then back at him, catching only the faintest outline of his expression in the soft light coming through the window.

"Don't worry," you assure him, once the initial jolt of susprise has worn off. "I have a generator."

"Oh," he answers, the shadow of his face peering around your dim surroundings. A few seconds later, he adds, "good."

A few seconds after that, he gives you a mildly concerned look that has you crossing the room to check the fuse panel. 

"Which definitely should have started up by now," you say, opening the cover. The normally illuminated buttons are completely dark. 

"Damn," you whisper to yourself. Then you turn back to Obi Wan, who's also now standing. 

"I'm sure it's just a loose connection somewhere," you tell him, reaching for your own jacket and pulling it over your robes. "I'll have it fixed in no time. Don't worry."

He gives you an uncertain look. It's the same one he always employs when you're failing to sell him a lie. But he doesn't argue as you finish dressing and head back to the door. 

After he's followed you into the small maintenance shack behind your home despite your insistence for him to stay inside, Obi Wan finally gives his opinion. 

"That does not look good."

You glance up at him from your kneeling position on the ground, flashlight fixed on the gnarled remnants of the main rotor. "No, it's-"

You're interrupted by the sound of skittering feet, and you jerk the light to follow the movement, catching the barest glimpse of grey flesh along with a flash of multiple eyes. Yelping at the sight, you tip back onto your feet to stand up. 

Before you can so much as bend your knees, a pulse of energy rips you backward, and the creature on the opposite side of the shed crashes into the wall with a dry slapping sound. Obi Wan lunges in front of you, lightsaber brandished, and you belatedly realize he's force-pushed you to the ground. 

"Obi Wan, it's a lisk!" you tell him, getting up to stand beside him. "It's just a lisk."

You've managed to pin the reptilian-looking thing under the light, finally, and you both watch as it drops from the wall and scrambles out of the maintenance shack, through a hole in the corner. The animals aren't dangerous, or at least, certainly not a threat to a Jedi. You find them creepy, but they aren't really more than a nuisance. 

Obi Wan would have - should have sensed this. But he hadn't responded to the danger. His response had been to your yelp of surprise. As you look at him, a loose lock of hair threatening to dip into his eyes, his teeth jutted in what you'd very nearly call a snarl, and his body held in a distinct Ataru pose, the meaning of what he'd said earlier - about not working together - is suddenly ringing out to you with crystalline clarity.

And he knows it. He silences the hum of his weapon, deactivating it and clipping it back to his belt with one smooth, hurried movement. 

"I didn't realize it was- " He starts and stops, tenses his shoulders, then drops them. "I'm not familiar."

Neither of you addresses the fact that he'd thrown you to the ground. Neither of you says anything about his taking an offensive attack position that he hasn't used since before you'd met - since before the death of his master. 

You gather yourself, trying to move past the discomfort of the moment by looking back down at the torn mess of metal on the ground. "They're common, here, but not dangerous," you tell him. "Not unless you're a generator."

Obi Wan's gaze follows yours. "Evidently."

"They like the warmth, I think. But they've never caused this much damage." You back away from it, sighing. "I don't suppose you have a long-range commlink you've been keeping secret?"

He shakes his head. "I'm afraid not."

A particularly loud gust of wind wails through the small crack between the open doors of the shed, widening the opening with drifting snow. 

A full rotation. Sixty-six hours. 

"We'd better get back inside," you tell him, turning off your flashlight. "We'll need to keep all the warmth we have left."

--

First Hour

"And how much is left, exactly?"

You swiftly close the small door of the wood burning stove, having tossed in another log. "Enough to get through about two standard days, comfortably. Or four... uncomfortably."

"I take it we're rationing, then."

You stand up, brushing the splintered wood from your leggings. "To be safe, yes. I can't heat the whole house, either. We'll have to close off the two other rooms."

He nods, firelight flickering across his face. He seems to hesitate, and you've turned back to the stew hanging in an old-fashioned durasteel kettle above the fire before he speaks again. 

"I suppose it doesn't serve much purpose for me to mention it now, but, was it wise to keep such a small stock of emergency supplies?"

You stir the food, looking over at the paltry woodpile. "I don't, normally," you answer, mouth closing in an 'M' shape that nearly became the word 'Master'. Old habits die incredibly hard, it seems. Especially when he takes that tone with you, thinly veiling his judgment. 

"There was a storm recently before this one, and an outpost on the southern quadrant needed urgent resupply. I split my stockpile in half, and I meant to replace it. A few days later, I was called away to an emergency mission," you look at him pointedly. "Never got around to it."

"Yes, well," he absently runs the back of his knuckles down the side of his beard. "Your ship is loaned to one friend, your supplies to another... it's a shame I made my visit after you've run out of favors to give."

You smirk a little, dishing some of the stew into a bowl and handing it to him. "I don't know about that. Here."

He takes it with a curious look and follows you when you close the lid on the kettle, leaving the main room and heading back to the seating area in the kitchen. Sitting down across from him again, you invite him to eat with a gesture, while pouring two drinks. He's taking his first bite when you open your cupboard and take out a couple of small cakes, placing one down next to him and taking a bite of the other. 

He raises his brows in surprise. "Is that..." He bites into it, politely finishing his chewing before starting again. "Where in blazes did you find yalo cakes?"

You give a genuine smile. "Made them myself."

"Very impressive," he says, bringing warmth to your face with the compliment. "They're delicious. Where did you get the yalo root?"

"Picked it up on a supply run on-" You stop yourself, then look up at him. There's no point in not finishing the sentence. He knows where to get yalo root. It's his favorite. That's why, on some level, you'd wanted it on hand. It brought you back to those days in the temple, with him. "... on Coruscant."

There's a long silence and it's obvious he's deliberating on whether to say anything. But you both know what he would say, and you both know there's no point in posing any questions. Eventually, you say something anyway. 

"I would have visited, it's just-"

"Of course," he interrupts. "There's no need to explain. I would have likely been away on duty anyway."

You drop your gaze down to the table. You wish you could just... tell him. Seeing him would have only made things worse for you, and you dealt with it the only way you knew how. You want so badly to just tell him, so that he can understand. 

So you do.

"I wanted to see you more than anything," you say quietly, and his spoon clinks against the side of the bowl as he sets it down. You can't bear to raise your eyes yet. "But I thought if I did, it would make thinking about you... harder." 

You drag your gaze up to him, forcing yourself to look. "You know what's funny, though? I don't think it made any difference."

His blue eyes are set, wide, unflinching. His mouth is tightly closed, and his expression is indiscernible. 

You let the silence drag on, finally breaking it again when he doesn't say anything. "I'm... going to go shower. Before the water in the tank freezes."

He watches you go, not saying a word. 

 

Third Hour

You've both spent some time in the refresher, your hair still a bit damp as you begin to light a few candles. You don't have many, so you've rationed them as well, placing them together in the middle of the room, on a table. 

Obi Wan is sitting in a chair, holding a book, one leg crossed over the other. His hair is dark, the ends sparkling with water in the dim light when he shifts in his seat. You're both wrapped in tunics and full robes, thick socks bound high above your ankles, and yet, you can still feel the chill in the air. 

He'd asked your permission to borrow the book - a high fantasy novel set on the seas of a fictitious planet - and to your amusement, he seems rather engrossed. You sit down in the makeshift sleep roll you'd created out of blankets on the floor, looking up at him. "I didn't expect you to enjoy that one so much."

"Hm?" He glances over the page. "Oh. No, I- it's quite, uh, interesting, but..."

You raise your brows, imagining he's feeling caught out for enjoying something so childish, but he surprises you. 

"I'm having trouble seeing the pages, in this light."

"Oh," you say, understanding now why he'd been staring so intently. "Well, it's much better near the fire. Come sit down here."

He gives an uncertain look through the grated door on the wood stove, and then down to the floor, next to you. "It's alright. I can see well enough, thank you."

You bite your lip, then decide to let it be, picking up a book of your own.

Ninth Hour

"Before I had studied the ways of the Force, the mountains were mountains and the waters were waters. When my knowledge of the universe became more intimate, I saw that mountains were not mountains and waters not waters. But now I have come to know the truth and can be at peace. I see that mountains are mountains again and waters once again are waters."

You blink at the page of the copied Jedi text before you, eyes growing heavy. Obi Wan is lying above you, now, spread long and lean over one of your couches. Actually, it's more of a chaise lounge. He'd dragged it over, closer to the light of the fire, and you'd sat down in front of it.

You turn to look at him, finally looking a bit more relaxed, one arm behind his head as his eyes slide down the page. You're close enough to hold your book up for him to see. 

"Have you read this one?" you ask, indicating the first paragraph of the longer text. 

He turns his head a little, angling himself to see the page. "I think it's safe to say I've read all of them, young one. I was assigned to the archives more than most padawans." He finishes reading, then flicks his gaze to you. "And perhaps I should have assigned you there more often. That passage as well known as the 'empty cup'."

You're sorely tempted to roll your eyes. "I'm aware. Just trying to be polite. I just really like that one."

He's quiet for a beat. "It's a good passage."

"Yes, it is," you say absently, turning the page. "One of my favorites."

You go on reading for a while, then speak again without looking up from the page. "Perhaps you'd care to share one of your favorites?"

You turn back to look at him and he places the book he'd been reading down on his chest. "Alright," he says, reaching out as you hand him your book. "Which one is this?"

"Poetics IV, Farseeker," you tell him, handing it up. "...but I thought you might have known that, Master."

He lifts his brows just a bit at your smirk, then turns his attention back to to book, paging through it, skimming for a few minutes while you sink into the comfort of the blankets surrounding you. 

"Ah, here. I've always thought this one interesting," he says, and you feel him shifting on the chaise behind you to get into a better position. 

"A single bundle of thread is made up of innumerable strands..." he begins, voice a bit smoother and deeper than it had been before. "but, if they are joined in a rope and laid down on a plank, they can easily be cut with one stroke of a sharp blade..."

The rich lull of his voice pushes you deeper into the blankets, and soon your eyes fall shut. His softly spoken words interspersed with the crackling of the fire is almost melodic. 

"...as many as the threads may be, they can not resist the singular blade. So we come to the truth: the threads of selfishness, of mistrust, of passion, are cut by the diamond of wisdom..."

Fourteenth Hour

You stir, pressing your nose into the warmth of his robes. He makes a humming sound deep in his chest, breathing softly into your hair. The warmth of it tickles your neck, and makes you open your eyes.

You flinch, breath stuck in your throat as you pull back. 

You sit up, shivering in the darkness. The fire is almost out. You stand up to stoke the embers and feed a few logs back into the stove. The sound of the door closing makes Obi Wan roll over to his other side, his breathing soft and steady. 

You look down at the floor, realizing you'd had to cross over several feet to get into his bedding. 

You must have been very cold.

You drag your blankets a little further away, then crawl back into your makeshift bed. 

 

Thirty-Second Hour

It's pitch black outside, now. The day cycle has turned fully to night, and after spending the morning eating, talking, and cleaning out your kitchen, and the evening mediating, there's nothing left to do but read until you're tired enough for bed. Obi Wan is lying down on his back, in front of the fire. You light another candle, then join him. 

The smell of him mixed with the smoky scent of the fire is... making it difficult to concentrate on your book. You're starting the same paragraph for the fourth time when he clears his throat softly. 

"Perhaps tonight, we should take shifts, to watch the fire. It nearly went out last night."

You freeze. "That's a good idea."

He says nothing more, and you lie still while your heart races. If he'd known the fire was low, he'd been awake. How much had he been awake for? 

"You... noticed that."

"I did," he says slowly. "By the time I noticed it, though, you'd already gotten up to fix it."

You're certain he can hear the blood thrumming in your ears. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were awake. I didn't mean to... to..." You start over, totally unsure what to say, but knowing you have to say something. "I was asleep when I must have rolled over, and...gotten into your bed."

He'd been watching you struggle to speak with a curious look, but finally, understanding seems to dawn on him. "Oh. I... had thought it was intentional."

The thoughts in your head run over a cliff. 

"It was cold," he offers. 

You have no idea what to say, blinking in embarrassment. "It wasn't intentional."

You'd found it difficult to concentrate on your book before, but now it's nearly impossible. You turn the pages a little longer, finally giving up and deciding to meditate instead. You close your eyes.

When you open them, you feel warm, and you feel safe, and once again, you realize you've curled into his arms. 

But you don't pull away this time. This time, you just... stay. You rest your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, shifting your fingers in his robes. Feeling the heat between your bodies. 

It doesn't matter, you tell yourself. None of this matters, because in two days he'll be gone from your life.  

What's the difference whether you dream of holding him like this, or if you simply let it happen? He'll plague your thoughts either way. 

You feel the rise and fall of his chest change its rhythm. He swallows, and you realize he's waking up. You lie still, then tilt your head up to look at him. 

"Cold again?" he asks, and it hangs between you. An open invitation for you to move away and pretend it's all been a misunderstanding. But you don't. 

"No."

The howling wind outside is the only sound, distant and ominous, as you stay motionless against his chest. Then he softly brings a hand to your face, gliding the back of his thumb down your jawline. 

You could cry, the way his skin meets yours with such tenderness, without hesitation. You can feel the tension in his force signature, bleeding through although he's suppressing it. 

"Go to sleep," he tells you. "We will get through this. It will be over soon."

"I know," you say immediately, his hand leaving your skin and making you give in to boldness. "And when it's over?"

"We've already discussed it," he says tightly, and you can feel the muscles of his arm behind you tense. He's not quite lying it down, not quite touching you. "We agreed, didn't we?"

"Yes, we did. After this, we won't see each other. So," you whisper into the thick fabric covering his undershirt. "I want to be honest. I don't want to lie to you anymore."

"Is this wise?" he asks, his words gentle but his gaze intense. 

"There is always wisdom in truth," you answer, knowing he'll recognize the words he's told you many times.

"I want you. It's terrible how much I want you. But I think it could be easier if I didn't have to pretend that I don't."

He doesn't say anything for a long time, but the shifting emotions in his eyes speak for him. "Then you should not pretend. Not for me."

You desperately want him to reach down and kiss you, but he stays still, as you knew he would. You let out a silent sigh, resting your ear to his chest. His signature is mostly hidden from you, but he can't disguise the rapid beating of his heart. "I think it's been more for me." 

"There is no need to hide your feelings," he murmurs. "But there is every need not to act on them."

You know he's right, but hearing him say it just makes it so much worse. And in some ways, it stokes the heat inside you even higher. Your leg is already nudging against him, and some depraved part of you is dying to lift your knee and hook it over him, to spread yourself open, to touch him in any way he'll allow it. 

But the larger part of you, the part that knows right from wrong, tells your body to roll onto your back, and you do. 

His arm lifts around you to let you separate, and you both stare upward, listening to the fire and the storm.

After so much time passes that you're not sure if he's asleep, you whisper one last thought that's been tormenting you for a very, very long time. "It's just a shame. For all we've been through, even the pleasure of breaking our vows... we didn't even get that." 

He stirs beside you, head turning slightly, but he doesn't answer. 

"If we had to break our vows, I'm just sorry we didn't even get to remember it."

Carefully, you turn to read his expression. His eyes are downcast. "I seem to remember much more than you do."

"I know," you whisper, a thrill that you know you shouldn't feel running through you. You're on edge, like you're trying not to frighten off a wild animal, with every word you shouldn't be saying. 

"If you wish," he says, voice forcedly calm, "I could show you."

The words hang in the air; low, heavy, dangerous. You part your lips with some effort. 

"Show me."

He rolls to his side, facing you, and wordlessly places a fingertip to your temple. It isn't necessary to form a bond through the force, but it helps.

Before he closes his eyes, and before you close yours, you feel it passing between you - an unspoken acknowledgement. What you're doing is precisely on the edge of sin and salvation, just teetering on the illicit line; a line which has been crossed and uncrossed so many times between you that you've lost count. 

You close your eyes anyway. 

The image is pristine. So real between sight and sound that you can hardly distinguish it from reality.

Your skin is on his skin. Sweaty, brazen, unashamed. You're lying naked on your back, and he's beneath you, pants unfastened, inside of you.

You squeeze your eyelids tight, overwhelmed and instantly aching between your legs.

He drags his cock slowly from you, one hand splayed across your stomach, holding you steady on top of him. Your body shudders involuntarily, imagining the pressure of his head moving from deep inside to pressing shallowly within you. 

"Tempted me for too long," the Obi Wan in the vision growls, voice surrounding both your ears as if he's speaking from everywhere at once. 

Then he pushes back in, hot and slick. "So tell me," he says, pulling out and sinking into you over and over, "Now. Tell me how you wanted this." 

"I wanted this," your voice comes - bare, powerless. Like you're clinging to him, adrift and keeping yourself afloat by saying anything he asks. 

He gives a long, tortured groan. "No, not just this." He drives into you, pulls out, coated and sliding so perfectly between your legs. "Say it."

"Oh, fuck," you moan, trembling against him, sounding too distracted to answer. 

"Young one," he warns, quickening the pace just slightly as he wraps one hand around your neck, tilting your chin upward as he spreads his fingers out, feeling your pulse skyrocket as he tightens. "Do as you're told."

"I wanted this, Obi Wan. Wanted you inside me. Wanted you to fuck me," you answer him, words spilling out of you without pause. "Wanted this forever."

The hand on your stomach has moved to your hip, now, gripping you to stop you from moving. He's writhing beneath you, and even from this perspective, from the catch in his breath, from the wet sounds in the room, you can tell he's gone from fucking you to pounding into you. 

"You've done this to me," he rasps, the muscles of his arm flexing between your breasts as he squeezes your neck tighter. "Do you understand that? You will answer for it."

You nod against him and he sinks his teeth into your neck, burying his moan in your skin. 

He's about to fucking cum, you realize.

Why had he started the vision here, of all places? Was he trying to make you lose your mind?

His thrusts are getting deeper, harder, staying buried longer, and, there- you hear it in the open-mouthed choke of his voice. You see it in the way he drives up into you and stays there. He's-

Obi Wan breaks the bond, bright and vivid imagery bursting into nothingness, fizzling right before you.

You blink, eyes falling open to meet his own. His lips are parted, his face as flushed as yours must be. You take in a breath, and it occurs to you how empty your lungs had been.

He straightens his shoulders, but he doesn't move away. His eyes dip down to your lips, then swiftly back up to your eyes. "I must tell you that what I said..." he pauses for far too long. "It wasn't true, of course."

"I know," your response is automatic. You're unsure precisely to what he's referring, but you want to reassure him.

"Shall I stop?" he asks the question softly, but his voice is too rough for him to feign innocence, now. "Or would you like to keep going?"

There's some shame in your breathless answer, and no doubt he hears it. No doubt he feels it, too. But it's outweighed by scraping, seething, agonizing want that's been buried for so long. 

"More," you tell him, never more certain of anything. "Don't stop."

There's conflict in his gaze, but the same animal you've been fighting wins out within him, too, and he closes his eyes once more. 

--

Tag List: @cosmicsierra @projectdreamwalker @guacam011y @thriving-n-jiving @reverieisaway @cursedfaechild @honeymoon7770 @hedvighedvig @cool-ontherun-world @ladytano420 @eddythewitch

Masterlist // Next Chapter >>

[translucent-sun]

“I will head in for an early night,” Obi-Wan said. It was barely past seven, but the landing was planned for 4 a.m. sharp, and the attack as soon after that as was possible. “We should get all the sleep we can get before tomorrow.” It was a lie, really. He wasn’t tired, and even if he was, he felt that sleep would be impossible. 

Meditation, though, was what he needed. Even with their plan, he knew tomorrow wouldn’t be easy. 

A choir of “Goodnight, General,” broke out among the handful of men he had been sitting and talking with for the past couple hours. It had been intended to be one last talk-through of tomorrows mission, gathering everyone who would handle the most important details. Though after that, it quickly turned into a happy get together, the prospect of tomorrow being the last thing on everyone’s mind. Or everyone pretended that it wasn’t. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure. “Goodnight,” Cody said with a nod, which Obi-Wan returned before making to leave.

“Goodnight, boys,” he said with a wave of his hand.

Finally in his quarters, the quiet was almost overwhelming. The past hours had been a much-needed distraction, a welcome one, but now it made everything feel even more. More difficult, more serious, like there was so much more at stake. He settled down on the round pillow he’d placed in the middle of the room, preparing for his meditation. He needed to ground himself, sort his thoughts, remember his place within the Force.

He would never admit it, but in moments like this, the feeling of anxiety was almost all-consuming. If he didn’t remind himself that the Force would guide him, the fear would eat him alive. Many of the clones who would fight tomorrow’s battle hadn’t had much chance to prove themselves yet—they were spared from having to do so. But that only put the stakes higher. 

He tried to shake the thoughts off, but they kept drifting. To the clones. To Cody. Obi-Wan inhaled deeply. When was the last time he’d found meditation so difficult? He smiled when he remembered his teen years, feeling the same anxiety. Shaking his head, he forced himself to focus. But instead of focusing on not thinking, all he could think about were Cody and the others. With a groan, he gave up. He might as well lie down and close his eyes. Maybe he could trick his body into thinking he’s tired.

The morning was an early one, filled with preparations before the landing, moving everything and everyone where they were supposed to be. 

And then it all happened so quickly. Everything went according to plan, until it didn’t. What was supposed to be the battle to end all battles, the one that Obi-Wan had declared only moments earlier to be the battle to end all bloodshed, quickly became a battle of bloodshed so major, it exceeded everything he’d heard about Hypori. 

How could everything go so wrong? How could they have missed such a major detail? There really was no time to worry about any of this now. The only thing that should be on his mind now is survival. Survival of his men, survival of Cody. His own, so he could protect them. Protect him. 

Cody had already saved his life earlier, even before everything went south, and he would not let his bravery go to waste. They’d already lost too many men, too many lives, and Obi-Wan felt as each of them was ripped away, like a candle being suffocated within the Force, its light extinguished. There have been hundreds of those candles now. He’d stopped counting about ten minutes ago, afraid that the pain would overwhelm him. He would not let the same happen to Cody. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. The meaning of that became increasingly clear to him. 

There was no time to dwell on those feelings, though, as he received the comm to clear the bridge. They were preparing to blow it up. 

“I still have wounded on that bridge!” he called back, pleading. The only reply he received was another warning. “Where is Commander Cody?” He was sure that the desperation in his voice was audible, but he didn’t care. A crackling through the comm, then finally an answer in the voice he’d always recognize, even though it was shared by thousands.

“On our way off. Now move, General!” 

Obi-Wan had never felt so much relief in his life. 

It felt like the battle and everything following lasted for hours. Ages. A never-ending nightmare.

Though now, as he was sitting and watching the sun rise above the ocean, he remembered that he’d seen the sun start to rise before everything even started to go wrong. That only made it worse, though. All those lives lost in the matter of what, twenty minutes? Less? The Jedi existed to protect. What was his purpose if he couldn’t protect? What was the point of any of this? The sun kept rising, and Obi-Wan almost couldn’t believe that it still could. So much could happen, and the sun would still rise, announce day after day, without ever stopping, no matter what it’s witnessed the day before. So terribly gorgeous. 

He heard footstep approaching behind him, but he didn’t have the energy to turn.

“The evacuation ships are here,” he heard Cody say, faintly, as though he was far away. For a long moment he didn’t answer. And Cody waited patiently. 

“Will you sit with me?” Obi-Wan asked quietly. “Just for a moment?” Without a word, Cody came closer, lowering himself into the grass beside him. They sat in silence for quite some time before Obi-Wan finally found his voice again. 

“We lost so many men today, so many–” his voice broke off. He took a deep breath before he continued. “I was so scared to lose you, too.” He spoke so quietly, he wasn’t sure if Cody even heard him over the noise of the engines and the shouting, his own ears still ringing. Cody didn’t answer, didn’t look at him for a long moment. 

“I tried to keep a lookout on you, and every time I lost sight of you, I was terrified,” Cody finally admitted, facing him. “But I’m here, and you are here, too.” Cody put his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, firmly squeezing his shoulder between the gap the armor left. He could almost hear Cody comment on it, telling him how– 

“Not really effective, is it?” he asked, squeezing the spot again. 

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but chuckle, the dark cloud in his mind not quite lifting, but a few stray rays of sun piercing through. He really knew Cody so well by now. 

Cody cocked his head in confusion, frowning. “What?” 

“I knew you would say something like that the moment you touched my shoulder.” Obi-Wan sighed, his gaze lingering on the sky for a moment longer before turning to Cody. “Besides, I could say the same about yours.” Obi-Wan poked the exposed fabric on Cody’s upper arm. “Dead.” Then he gestured towards his neck. “Dead.” Finally, he tapped the upper edge of Cody’s leg armor, pointing towards his exposed thigh when Cody looked down. “Dead. Major arteries, easily accessible.” Cody rolled his eyes.

“So you might as well leave everything exposed, makes sense,” he teased, and Obi-Wan smiled. 

Five minutes with Cody, and the weight on his shoulders already felt less crushing. Present, but bearable.��

Maybe the sun was right, to start each day fresh, to give it another chance. 

“Are you okay?” Cody asked quietly. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, his smile not wavering as he lowered his head.

“Thank you,” he replied, ignoring his question. When he finally looked up at him, his eyes locked on Cody’s chest. He brought his hand up to it, planting it firmly across it. Cody looked confused. 

“For what?” Obi-Wan was still looking at the orange paint, at the sun’s ray peeking through his fingers.

“Just, thank you,” Obi-Wan repeated. From the periphery of his eye he saw Cody watching him, his confusion again changing to worry. He decided to ignore it, already rising. “Come on, before they leave without us.” He reached out his hand to Cody, and he took it.

[xoxoavenger]

Bad Blood

pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader

summary: Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you And time can heal, but this won't So if you come in my way, just don't

word count: 2008

warnings: angst, anakin turning into darth vader, anakin killing the younglings (not described jsut mentioned)

1989 masterlist main masterlist

She thinks everything is fine when they're on Coruscant.

Anakin is laying on her, arms wrapped around her body tightly as his face cuddles into her chest. She can't help but run her fingers through his hair as he sleeps, one of his hands is under her shirt, their warm skin making her skin tingle. She loves how long he's let his hair get, but she's seldom able to soothe both him and herself like this. He never sleeps in, and she's never awake before him, so she's taking in this time where he's not a Jedi Knight, but her lover. She knows he's going to be mad that she let him sleep in, but she can't bring herself to wake him up. Waking him up would mean that they have to start their day, which is also the start of their separate tasks.

He lets out a small groan as he begins to wake up, shifting slightly and rubbing his hand up and down her back, shoving his head further into her. She chuckles slightly, fingers going through his hair once more.

"Good morning." She tells him, tucking her chin in to look at him. He grumbles something into her shirt, and she just shakes her head.

"Let's just call out today." He tells her. She's very tempted, especially when he moves his head to look up at her. His eyes are bright despite the early morning (because even though he technically slept in it's still dark outside), and she can't help but be pulled into them.

"Yeah, cause no one will notice that." She tells him with a small smile, sad that she won't be able to stay in bed all day.

"They won't." He tells her. This is so unlike him, wanting to stay in all day and risk their relationship. However, she heard his nightmare last night, and she knows that's why he's so clinging to her now.

"Ani," She speaks softly, pushing his hair back once more. "We can't. Not now." He knows what she means, but it still hurts him.

"I know," He gets out of bed with no fanfare, different than how he'd been acting just a couple minutes ago. It hurts her, but they've both talked at length about their relationship and agreed that there's no way they can be found out at this moment. Not with Anakin so close to becoming a Master Jedi and Y/N working her way up the Senate. It's too risky, and they both know it.

"I love you," She tells him, staying in bed and watching him sneak out of her quarters. He looks back at her with a smile.

"I love you more." He winks, and then is out the door.

~

She's never run this fast in her life.

She's got to get to Anakin. She has to get to him before he does something he can't come back from. She hadn't seen him since that morning, but she had talked to Obi-Wan just minutes before. He had told her about the disturbance, about his bad feeling, and she was running before he could tell her not to.

Except, she's too late. She gets to Anakin as he stands in the temple, small bodies littering the ground. She wants to throw up, gasping loudly and stumbling. She falls on her back as she trips over her long dress, breath caught in her throat as Anakin turns to her.

His eyes are Sith yellow.

"Ani?" She whispers, pretending she doesn't feel the unshed tears climbing up her throat and threatening to spill. She can't stop staring at him, taking in the dark robe. It's still him, but something has changed drastically. The way he looks at her makes her feel slimy, and she shakes.

"Y/N," He says back, his voice dark and low. She feels a tear fall out of her eye, down her cheek slowly.

"What have you done?" She doesn't want to look at the bodies, but they're everywhere. She turns and gags. "Anakin, what have you done?" Her voice is shaking.

"What I must." He says with full confident that makes her breathe in shakily as another tear falls down her face.

"You can't mean that." She says softly, shaking her head. She doesn't want to believe Anakin did this, let alone believe he chose to do this. Her Anakin would never kill the Younglings. 

"You don't have the nightmares!" Anakin is yelling as he stalks over to her, and she tries to crawl back. She gets caught on her dress, whimpering as she leans away from him. "Every night I watch you die, and this is how I fix it!" He cries, continuing until he's close to her.

"How do you know that?" She fixes her dress and moves to the wall, tears falling rapidly. She wishes she had the power to teleport, to time travel. To be anywhere except where her life has lead her. 

"My eyes have been opened." He tilts his head up and looks down his nose at her, making her feel small and insignificant. She hates it. "I can save us now. I have the power that I didn't have before."

"Anakin," She whispers, hoping that if she says his name he'll somehow snap out of it. "The price this power comes at, it's too great." She tells him, as if he can take back murdering innocent children.

"No price is too great!" His voice is somehow booming, his anger causing her to flinch.

"Ani, you're breaking my heart!" She cries, the pain in her chest intensifying with the cold look in his yellow eyes.

"I did this for you!" He yells, but she's just shaking her head. She won't let him blame murder on her.

"I never asked you to!" She finally fires back, but this makes him mad. He narrows his eyes and shoots a hand out, using the force to choke her. A hand goes to her neck out of reflex, air leaving her as she began to raise off the ground.

"I still love you," He squeezes his hands just a bit harder, and she lets out a squeak as her airflow is completely cut off, her head going fuzzy. The edges of her vision are dark, closing in on her. Tears fall along with her body when he lets go, but the airflow can't change the fact that she's losing consciousness. "But I can't have you getting in the way."

~

It had been years since she'd seen him at that point, because Obi-Wan had told her he was dead. And why wouldn't she believe him? She though nothing of it until he went missing, and a week later she's woken up by her window breaking. 

She shoots up in bed, eyes wide. She doesn't have to look far when she sees a red light cutting through the dark. 

The room is silent as she climbs out of the bed and drops to all fours, trying to hide. The black figure climbs into her room, noiseless even with the long cape they have. She can see their huge outline, and they must have a mask because their heavy breathing is modulated. 

Y/N crawls as quietly as she can toward the open door. 

"Don't bother," A deep, filtered voice says. She freezes, because there's something about this voice that makes her shiver. "I can feel you're here, Y/N." Her blood runs cold. Whoever this is, they know who she is as well. She sends out a silent prayer that Obi-Wan will somehow come back from wherever he is and save her. 

She regains her mobility and resumes crawling to the door, but it's no use. The figure grabs her ankle and pulls her backward, her stomach and chest scraping against the ground. 

"I just want to talk." The sentence sounds wrong with the deep voice, and when she twists she sees that this figure it tall and broad, and she can't help but cower. 

"I'm not a Jedi, I swear." She's sure this is an Inquisitor, the black outfit and red saber tipping her off. 

"I know." They let go of her foot but she doesn't move, too worried about what they could do with the saber anyway. "If you were, you would have been dead already." 

"What do you want, then?" She asks, trying to take deep breaths. She has to stay calm and keep her head if she wants to make it out of this alive.

"I would like you to join me." He puts a hand out, but Y/N turns her head away from the glove. 

"Why would I do that? I don't even know who you are." Her voice is still shaky, and she wishes she could be more confident. She tilts her head to see him while still being as defiant as she dares. 

"You knew who I was." He answers, but this only confuses her more. "You loved me." 

Oh fuck. 

"Anakin?" She hasn't said the name since he choked her, even when talking to Obi-Wan about it. Her head snaps to him, thinking he may have taken off the mask to prove it, even though he doesn't have to. She knows, somehow, that he's telling the truth. She doesn't want to believe this man is Anakin, the man she loved and the man she thought died loving her. 

Had Obi-Wan lied about him being dead? Did he even know his apprentice was alive?

"Anakin is dead." He rasps, but Y/N can only shake her head. This has to be him. The figure, masked and completely covered, is her lover. Or what's left of him. 

"What happened?" She asked, standing now that she knows he won't do anything. If he wanted to kill her, she would be dead. 

"There is only Darth Vadar now." She wanted to reply with some witty comment. She wanted to be a bitch so bad, because after everything he put her through, but she bit her tongue. 

"Why are you here?" None of her questions are answered, so she didn't expect this one to be either. Whatever he wanted to do, he would. She had no power. She felt exactly like she did all those years ago when she first saw the yellow eyes. 

The deja vu made her sick. 

"I came back for you." He tells her, but she can't believe him. She has to look away from his dark mask for a moment, has to regroup her thoughts. There's too many; her brain feels like it might explode if she thinks any harder. 

"What?" It's the only thing she can say. 

"I'm here to protect you." She could almost laugh at this. 

"From what?" She screams, knowing no one could hear them. It's the only good thing about isolated living. "What could you possibly need to protect me from now? You've already made my life a living hell." She rolls her eyes and turns her back. 

"Everything I've done has been for you! The only reason you're still living a life is because of me." If she doesn't think about it, she could almost pretend like it's not actually Anakin. This isn't the man that ripped her heart open, who she still had scars from. She liked to remember Anakin on that morning, head on her chest and eyes soft. 

"I never asked you to." She turns back to him, gathering her courage. "I never asked you to kill people. To start this empire. Did you seriously think I would follow you to the Empire? I mean," She wants to call him by his nickname, but she can't. She feels sick. 

He's stunned speechless. 

"I was better off thinking you were dead." She walks away like that, never wanting to see him again - as Anakin or Darth Vader. They're both ruined, both murderers. They both love her, but they both are cowards. She can't stand to think about it as she takes a small walk to the woods near her small house, and though she doesn't see him leave, when she gets back, he's gone. 

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @mcueveryday

[rufflesandbows]

The Final Sacrifice

For years you had served beside the Chancellor, the assistant that kept his books in order. The high point was always being able to talk with the hero, your hero: Anakin Skywalker. Now he is known as Darth Vader, and you are made to follow him to Mustafar.

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader X Reader Word Count: 2300 Warnings: canon-typical violence, intimidation, mildly dub-con touching. He's unburnt. For now.

Your damn hands wouldn’t stop trembling. 

Hastily you typed in the frequency of Palpatine’s personal comlink. Doing everything to ignore that there were bodies strewn about the room. Never had you seen Anakin in action before. It was so easy to see him as a warrior, a hero, but the way he slaughtered the room in moments was almost beyond your comprehension. It happened so fast, with so little resistance, you were suddenly made aware how easily he could kill you.

He had no reason to, you being Palpatine's attendant secretary for years. It was that he could, and it could happen in a split second. The bodies. You’d never seen so many dead before. Everything in the room was silent as the graveyard he made it, Anakin walking casually about the room, his eyes on the large windows displaying the hellish volatile planet of Mustafar. 

After all the trouble of trying to calm yourself and focus on linking up with the frequency, it came to a pause. You were put on hold. Frustratingly, you rolled your eyes and sighed. Waiting patiently for Palpatine to hurry up and say you could return to Coruscant and forget this sight. Forget this Darth Vader. Maybe you could go back to your daydreams of Anakin you’d been holding in for years. When his gaze was soft and his voice softer. How he’d always politely talk to you when the Chancellor and Obi-wan took up the room, leaving you both to steal away in front of those grand windows, a world of your own. What you would give to go back to that.

All the hair on your neck rose to attention. As soon as you realized how close he had come up to you, you froze and began to sweat, hoping with all your heart he would keep walking. He didn’t. Anakin- Darth Vader, as he was now called, loomed above you and your back became hot and stiff with anxiety. 

A pressure came to your shoulders, encased them. His hands, one hot as the magma pools outside, the other cold as ice, gripped you in place. He drew in close, his voice a soft rasp as he spoke though all was quiet now. “I can feel your fear.”

Your hands were clenched, willing yourself to breathe through the panic locking you up. “I assure you,” Your voice as well, was trembling pathetically. “my feelings will not get in the way of my work.”

“Have I changed so much?” The way you curled away from his hot breath on your neck was involuntary but he held you in place. Easily. You’d never felt so small. Those venomous yellow eyes were boring into you, a shiver running down your spine. “Only the night before did I sense your adoration.”

So he did know of your infatuation. He never hinted, just let you get comfortable with his courtly politeness. A flush of embarrassment mixed with your fear and you were paralyzed from saying anything. Anakin squeezed you back into his chest, nearly embracing you. Caging you is what it felt like. His mouth was so close you could feel the touch of his lips against your burning ear as he seethed. “You think I’m a monster, don’t you? Because my power is no longer bound by the leash of Jedi philosophy? Tell me, what is there to be afraid of?” You could feel him tense his jaw, sucking in a sharp breath before he demanded from you, “Why don’t you still love me?”

He was right. You saw him as a monster but how would it save you to admit it? How would it save you to lie? Could he detect lies before, could he now? All you could do was fall back on flattery and obedience. “You are my Lord and my Commander. My feelings are irrelevant.” 

After a long painful pause, you could feel him scoff, a puff of air down your cheek. “At least you’re honest.” 

He forcefully pushed you away, catching yourself on the console. Left with tears in your eyes, left to watch him walk away as if you were no more significant than a mouse. A flicker of blue grabbed your attention and quickly you straightened yourself as the visage of Palpatine appeared on the holocam, his cloak covering most of his mutilated face. “It is done, Chancellor. The Separatists are no more.”

“Good.” Slowly, a smile began to grow on his phantom face. “And how are you fairing?”

Why was he asking? He never cared for your input before. You glanced back at Vader thinking he might have meant to address him, but he had left the room. “I am well. The war has finally come to an end.”

“You sound frightened.” 

“I’m not accustomed to a battlefield, sir.” Calling it a battlefield was a mockery. It was a slaughterhouse. It smelled like a slaughterhouse. “It is nothing for you to worry about.”

He gave a dragging hum. “Per the Senates urging, I am now Emperor of the new Empire. That leaves you in an awkward position, as there is no longer a Chancellor.”

You took back in confusion. “You no longer have need of my services?”

“Oh you are an exceptional employee, but I will be in need of new staff for new purposes.” He explained, and yet there was this hint of- was it mockery? Toying? He sounded amused by his own words. “I hate to see you go to waste. I give you over to Darth Vader.”

Your heart dropped. This Darth Vader wasn’t kind or gentle as Anakin had been. Yet what could you do? It wasn’t beyond you that if someone refused the Chancellor enough times, they went missing and were replaced with someone more subservient. You always hoped it was never the worst possibility, now you couldn’t imagine it as anything but. With your heart in your throat, you bowed to the hologram. “You honor me, Emperor.”

“Return to Coruscant. I have a ship waiting for him. Soon we will be given names of those who escaped their execution order-” He smiled widely, “and the hunt will begin.”

When you came back up, it flickered off. Looking about the room, your hands unconsciously came up and covered your painfully racing heart, as if to protect it from any further fright. Taking in a steady breath, you moved around the room, the corpses, and followed where you believed Vader had gone. Back out to the ship pad. 

Even with the heat regulators protecting the area, stepping out of the building caused your skin to sting and your throat to instantly dry, coating it in the metallic taste of the atmosphere. On uneasy footing, you made your way down the walkway to the ship pad, bearing above a river of rushing molten lava. 

Vader was standing there at the mostly empty pad, staring up at the sky of churning black clouds. Timidly, you stopped at a distance from him, not saying a thing as you were trying to find the courage to admit what the Emperor would have of you.

“What did he say?”

He hadn’t looked back at you, still staring up. Creator’s be damned, your voice was still trembling. “He has a ship for you on Coruscant, to begin the hunt of the remaining… fugitives.” 

You couldn’t bring yourself to call them traitors. So many of them you had known and spoken with, you were there in that room when Mace Windu and Palpatine had fought, and you watched Anakin turn from a young man distraught with indecision, to something inhuman. The instant he rose to his feet, unrecognizable to the man you’d known him to be, you wished Mace had won that fight. Had the Force been kind, he would have. 

Maybe Anakin- Vader, had sensed some discomfort in you, maybe it was just the silence, but he looked over his shoulder, peering at you. And to your horror, the yellow of his gaze was gone. “Anything else?”

“And that-” You swallowed down your frayed nerves, bewildered. “you will be in need of your own attendant. That I’ve been transferred to your employment.”

The smile in his eyes moved to the rest of his face, softly laughing to himself as he turned his look back to the sky. It almost felt like you had imagined it, but no, his predatory yellow stare had frightened you horribly. That fear, the physical change about him was visceral and real. A moment passed before he sighed. “Come along then. Obi-wan isn’t coming.”

Darth Vader started walking forward toward his personal ship, startling you into catching up, not wanting to be left behind on this terrible place. 

As you entered the ship, you kept your head bowed, taking the seat nearest to the door and falling into it, exhausted by all this. The only relief to be had was when the ship door closed and the heat was instantly cut off. 

With some minor turbulence, the ship breached the atmosphere and sailed smoothly into the starry void. Moments later, the hyperdrive was warmed up and the windows were streaked with an explosion of shifting blue and white lines.

There was only the hum of the engine for a long while. Neither of you having moved beyond him getting comfortable in his seat.

You couldn’t stop it. Everything was burning from all that you witnessed, all the fear, the loss, just the scent of Mustafar clinging to your clothes. No matter how quickly you blinked, the tears were welling and not going away. It was all so overwhelming. They began to fall and you covered your face, unable to hold back the sob that cracked through your chest. The act itself was making you panic more. Instead of him saying anything, you startled when you felt the air shift. How could he walk so quietly? Instinctively, you scooted away from Vader looming before you. “I’m sorry-”

He gently hushed you, reaching out. “It’s alright.” Sitting down in the spot you opened, he brushed away the wetness of your cheek. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I just- I’ve never-” You were still trying to cover your face, unable to control the tears and small sobs from spilling over. 

“War is like that.” He took your hands in his. You watched how he brought them to his chest, warm and firm in his embrace. Trying to calm the rush, you breathed slowly. He was smiling gently, those deep blue eyes roaming your face. It was burning you up being so close, touching him, being under that familiar gaze. “Hopefully now, with the great Empire in place, you won’t ever have to see something like that again.”

Don’t forget, you pleaded with yourself. Don’t forget that terrible creature lurking under his skin. If you forget, you’ll be lost.

Questions nipped at you, wondering what was going through his mind. Did he feel anything for what he'd done? Had war brought this out of him or had he always been comfortable with killing? Had he always wanted to look at you like this? He looked so much like the Anakin you knew. It wasn’t fair, your whole body warmed in delight of his sweet attention, a thrill striking through you as he brought your hands to his lips, and peppering feather-light kisses on the shivering knuckles. 

“I would get so excited to see you.” He finally spoke, in a soft way, the way you were used to hearing him, the breath of his words caressing you, easing you. Guiding one hand, he opened up your tense fingers and exposed your palm, placing a kiss there too. It was so intimate. It was so close. “I loved the way you lit up when I’d enter the room.” He chuckled. “You could be standing next the Supreme Chancellor, surrounded by Jedi Masters, there could be kings and queens speaking, and you somehow made me feel like the most important person in the room.”

A blush started to warm up your throat and build in your face. You couldn't have known that as you'd only ever been an infatuated fan who got to speak with her hero on occasion, and he a proper code abiding Jedi. Always keeping a proper distance. Always speaking formally. 

Maybe not always. How easily you would assume it was only in your head when he’d lean close and speak under his breath. Or reach and touch your uniform, so much heat in his low-lidded gaze.  

You watched as his fingertips slipped under the rim of your sleeve, pushing it down before placing his lips on your wrist, a jump of pleasure on the rarely touched skin. “But it could never be anything more than that. I wasn't allowed attachments, and we never had a moment alone for me to… test the boundary of my interest.”

His words perked your interest more than they should have. For the first time your gaze jumped from your hands. Those intense eyes met you in an instant, and his smile grew. “That’s right.” He leaned into your space, eyes dropping to your lips and your hands trapped in his, and you couldn’t say it wasn’t everything you dreamed about. “Had I got a single moment alone with you- well, you probably wouldn’t believe all the ways I wanted to make you mine.”

Your breath caught, your heart beating rapidly with the shock, with the thoughts now running in your head. Wondering how many times you and he wanted the same things. His code and your courtesy keeping a wall between you.  

Vader didn’t give you a warning. He pulled in and pressed a quick kiss to your lips, making you gasp. He let you catch your breath, his lips still technically touching yours, smiling as if he too could feel the molten thrill that hit you, jumped up your body and slammed into your head, dizzying you. Your hands clutched his, but they weren’t trembling anymore.

"I'll show you. I'm no different from the man you knew me as.” He promised, pressing those lips back on yours, savoring the way you melted into his embrace. “I’ll make you love me again.”

Author note: It was originally going to be a big ol post but I decided to cut it into pieces. So we got a "pleasant" pg-13 first part, and the second part is jus gon be smutty smut. (~‾⌣‾)~ I hope you enjoyed the read!

[awesomestarfighter]

I Should Have Known Better Then To Debate My Brother On Star Wars But I Did It Anyway

That's a lengthy way to start a post, I know, but I'm in a very riled up mood right now.

I remember the first time I argued with him about this. Our family did a rewatch of the Star Wars series (prequels than originals) at my request (and I usually never get emotional, so they were very concerned when I started crying my eyes out during Order 66 and asking if we should stop) and afterwards we talked.

Since I'm an avid Pro Jedi fan, there was a lot of arguing about 'The Jedi could have done this/should have done this!'. A bit with my family, but mostly with my brother since we're an argumentative pair and he's the only one who's watched extra materials such as TCW to further why the Jedi failed/should have done more.

We had to agree to disagree, so it ended there. Now here I am years later, having already talked to him about why glorifying this particularly abusive M/F is not peak romance or good writing, what defines bad writing, and general amatonormativity, and since I'm back in a SW swing, I thought about bringing it up to him, hoping he'd gotten a little more flexible since the last time we talked about it.

Clearly, I was too optimistic to think that.

Cue the usual tangent of (which I've already seen from. . . So many fans):

-The Jedi should have known Palpatine was a Sith.

-They should have treated Anakin better.

-They should have made him a Master.

-They shouldn't have given him that advice about death.

-Obi-Wan wasn't ready for a Padawan.

-They should have investigated Sifo-Dyas's murder.

-They should have investigated more.

-That's just the way the story is written and how the characters would react in real life, so of course Filoni is a good viewpoint on the Jedi.

. . . And just the general, 'they should have done more' statement that's been uttered countless times before.

I tried to point out the flaws in this way of thinking, I really did.

-It's established right in TPM that the Sith have been extinct for a very long time, and they verbally acknowledge that they don't know whether the one killed was the Master of the Apprentice, so it wasn't like they just up and forgot about the enemy that could still be out there. And it's literally stated in the very next movie that their ability to use the Force has been diminished, so it's not like they could have seen the Sith in plain sight in the force. Minor note, I know Force Signatures are mentioned a lot in fanon, but I don't remember anything like that ever being mentioned in canon (I know there's Legends but that's a separate continuity). With all that to keep in mind, why would they think he was a Sith? We have a different view of things because we're the audience, but they don't! Even though they didn't magically know he was the Sith Lord, that doesn't mean they're blind to his dealings or the corruption within the Senate, unless I completely hallucinated the part where the Jedi Masters were on their way to arrest Palpatine even before they learned he was a Sith Lord.

-Questioning a kid to see how he would respond to your ways of life is not being nice enough apparently (people can debate about his trauma and the authorial intent all day, but the basis is that the Jedi are not supposed to be framed as the bad guys). Apparently adopting him and treating him as a part of their family just isn't enough. Clearly, they should have coddled him even more, maybe then he wouldn't have murdered them down to the last child! (This is sarcasm because they never treated him differently or anything, even the Chosen One thing is barely brought up, and all his darkest moments are ones the Jedi were never made aware of). I know people will just say to put him in therapy because I've seen them say that many times before, but the truth is that he's already in therapy with the Jedi, he just doesn't absorb any of it because he doesn't want to.

-Yeah, because an adult throwing a temper tantrum when he's been appointed to a leading authority by a shady government leader who should not have any authority over their organization isn't sketchy as fuck, that response alone proves he WAS not ready, because he still didn't understand what the Jedi were about, much less mastery of himself. My brother at least admitted that was a good point when I outlined it, so score for me, I guess.

-People give Yoda grief all the time for his advice, but they always seem to forget that, firstly, Anakin is asking this during a war they've been fighting for three years, one they've lost many friends and family to, and secondly. . . Anakin was really fucking vague when he brought this forward. He doesn't even specify who he's talking about isn't a fellow Jedi, clone, or otherwise (And I can't help but draw a parallel to how he didn't tell Obi-Wan about his visions of Shmi and people will blame Obi-Wan when Anakin's the one who can't bother to properly fucking communicate) and he doesn't listen because it's not what he wants to hear. He doesn't just want to save Padme; he wants to cheat death because he's possessive and greedy and doesn't want his loved ones to ever leave him. Yoda's advice was actually very useful, but since when has Anakin ever listened to good advice? Once again, my brother admitted that was a good point, so the second score went to me.

-I know fandom loves to portray Obi-Wan as this self-hating mess that's barely keeping it together (who also does a lot of medic dodging for some reason?). . . But that's not who he is in canon? The real Obi-Wan is controlled and capable, and he was a young adult when he was Knighted, not a kid, who went on to become the youngest member of the Council when he became a Master. It wasn't like he was left to teach Anakin alone, because he had the Order, and they're canonically big on communal teaching. Even just in the movies, we frequently see that Obi-Wan's the one who reaches out to Anakin and Anakin's the one who shuts him out. Obi-Wan was a great teacher, Anakin was just a shit student.

-The Jedi learned about Sifo-Dyas's unauthorized role in the creation of the clone army literally right before the war broke out, so it wasn't like they were in a position where they could look more into it. Even before that, they were under the impression that he died during a failed peace negotiation. My brother still said this even though there was a literal WHOLE ASS ARC IN TCW WHERE THEY INVESTIGATED HIS DEATH. He watched that arc to, and he still says they should have investigated his death even when they literally did. I have no words for such a contradictory way of thinking.

-I know it's easy to say stuff like that, but Star Wars isn't written for adults who want all the messy bits, but for kids for a good vs evil story, so of course investigation stuff is shoved to the side. Even in TCW where we do see them investigating, they're hampered by the Senate, by Palpatine, by the war, and by the narrative. Even ignoring that, Anakin literally said in ROTS that Palpatine was the Sith THAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR, so that means they were investigating even though we didn't see it onscreen.

-Filoni. . . God just thinking about him makes me angry. I could write a whole essay on how he's twisted the narrative for Star Wars so badly, and I hate essays, but plenty of people have already done it better, so I won't.

-But still, I think it's hilarious that I can point out certain things he's written terribly (TCW, TOTJ, TTB, and Ahsoka) to show that he doesn't like the Jedi, and my brother is still saying, 'well that's just how the story is written and how the characters will react so he doesn't really hate the Jedi with that sort of evidence and blah blah blah.'

-Of course, for TCW, my brother brought up that stupid arc where AsHoKa iS pErSeCuTeD - I just think it's funny how, with trying to make his special oc look good and the Jedi Council unlikable, Filoni accidentally made her unintentional unsympathetic and made the dOgMaTiC lEaDeRsHiP unintentionally sympathetic. And of course, who could forget the infamous s7 moment of her not being fair to Obi-Wan? I know people will say she's a teenager and she's confused and she's still feeling betrayed - but the thing is, that doesn't hold up because the narrative never follows up on it. It's not a personal flaw of hers, it's solely there to frame Ahsoka (and Bo-Katan/the Mandalorians by proxy) as right and Obi-Wan (and the Jedi Council/Order by proxy) as wrong. I'm sure there are more examples that can be noted, but those are definitely two of the biggest offenses in my book.

-Tales of the Jedi wasn't even about the Jedi, it was about two specific individuals who LEFT the Jedi. One who went on to become invincible/immortal/a sanctimonious prick/even more of a mouthpiece then she already was, the other went on to become the undisputed head of an enemy who went full throttle on genocide, slavery, and war crimes. Mace's treatment and Yaddle's treatment was more poorly veiled racism and even more poorly veiled Jedi hate. And of course, the super special training from Anakin that allowed Ahsoka to survive Order 66 unlike those useless unprepared Jedi who were too soft on their kids - but really just made him look like an incredibly abusive parent. Frankly, while I do hate Anakin and can see him pushing too hard as in character, even I can see that it could have been written a lot better than it was. Tales of the Jedi was a fucking joke because it should have been titled 'Tales of The Super Special Creators Pet OC and the Asshole Who Falls And Spearheads A War', and if we ever get Jedi content that is actually positive for them without the usual criticisms coming up (Kenobi's the only one so far that's come the closest) I'll be throwing a fucking party.

-Of course, I have to point out TBB's whitewashing, consistently carried over from TCW except even whiter, though I forgot to mention how that show just completely fucking forgot the Jedi existed. Though frankly, I wouldn't want them to be mentioned in the utter waste of time that TBB is.

-Ahsoka was made into even more of a mouthpiece in her show then she already was. I didn't even watch Rebels in its entirety because I don't care for it, but even with some of the more frustrating decisions with her in that span of time she never said the Order wouldn't have fallen if they had just brought in more non-Force Sensitives to train them into being Force Sensitive (another part of canon that Filoni has fucking taken a hammer to) singing Anakin's praises after she's 'saved' by him (though even in Rebels it got pretty egregious how she just fucking abandons the Rebellion and the Jedi because she won't leave him again) just being a general fandom anti on how the Order was at fault for everything and Anakin was actually predestined to become a Sith (instead of defying his destiny by attacking Mace and siding with Palpatine as per Word of God) so everything he did was justified. All written and directed by Filoni, just as the other pieces where he's had narrative control will label the Jedi as arrogant, as forgetful, as unworthy, as not ENOUGH. And as soon as he can, he shoves them aside for characters who are 'to cool to be a Jedi, a cooler Jedi than those useless old Order jerks who spent too much time playing politics and being too stringent because they were cautious rule followers and not plucky rebels and weren't loving enough to poor widdle Anakin and -'

Though frankly my brother had some pretty ludicrous takes in general. There was this whole tangent we had about how since Rex removed his chip and voided death, that makes him gray/puts him in a gray zone. I just bluescreened at that, because while I've never cared for morally gray characters/storytelling, a character stepping out of their slated place in the narrative so obviously isn't gray it's not even funny, it's infuriating. While I know a part of me being a writer is what helps me look at stories more critically, it still makes me feel so confused how people will just take in bad writing or come up with bullshit takes like this. Whatever happened to thinking critically for the good of storytelling?

. . . I don't usually write my own posts (even though I'm usually better at wording things than actually voicing an argument as it started with my brother) because I prefer to just reblog stuff on my blog, I wrote this primarily as a vent post because my argument with my brother really got me stirred up, but I've been in a salty sw mood lately so it was kind of cathartic to get this out.

Also, if any Jedi anti or fan comes at me with 'but actually the Jedi should have -' no. Please just don't. I always try to tag stuff properly so people who won't agree will know what my blog themes are about, I'm never in the mood for the run of a mill gotcha takes that infest this fandom and I will not hesitate to block you if you come onto my post for that.

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Chapter 8

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series masterlist

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!poc!reader

summary: A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a certain Jedi by the name of Anakin Skywalker meets you, the current Queen of Naboo and cousin of Padme Amidala, and is tasked with protecting you by pretending to marry you. As a spy, you’ve infiltrated the Separatist ranks and are close to finding out the mastermind behind all of it. The fate of the galaxy is in your hands.

warnings: minors dni, some mentions of gore, guilt, trauma (who is surprised. please), angst, a shower scene but it's really unsexy except for anakin on his knees series will have eventual smut, canon level violence, etc etc.

a/n: tagging makes me feel a type of violence that is historic in nature. not beta read. any comments and reblogs and all are so so appreciated thank u so much for reading

You never realized how intertwined grief and guilt are before now. Anakin allows you to pretend that you’ve fallen asleep as he hoists you into the speeder with Obi-Wan, stroking your feverish forehead with his cool metal hand. He’s draped you in his cloak, hiding the blood on your clothes. If Obi-Wan knew you were awake, he’d ask you questions, questions that you wouldn’t have the strength to answer. Anakin lays you down gently with your head on his lap, a comfort you don’t think you deserve. 

You keep remembering the spray of blood on your face, its metallic, coppery scent staining you forever; you did that. You took away her life, forever, without hesitation, without stopping. While it felt like a blur in the moment, it feels crystal clear now: the sight of your hands, tangled in the roots of Reyna’s hair, blood muddying the sand as dark rivulets formed from the pool of blood forming from Reyna. And that lifeless look in her eyes, the one she had before you had actually managed to kill her… she wasn’t afraid. She knew you were going to kill her. She knew she was dead before her heart managed to stop beating. 

The thought of that alone terrifies you. So you cling tighter to Anakin’s thigh, a shiver running through your body as you try to hide from your guilty conscience. He says nothing, just holds you tighter; you imagine he’s doing the work of shielding both yours and his emotions from Obi-Wan. You feel guilty that you can’t even muster the energy to care. Reyna’s face haunts you in the dark space of your eyelids every time you blink. There is nowhere to hide from her, from your guilt. 

Anakin can feel your turmoil. He strokes the top of your head, hand shaking as he tries to hide his own sins. How many bodies has he buried, now? If he hadn’t been talking with Obi-Wan, distracted by the thought of you instead of living in reality, would he have been able to protect you from Reyna? That, too, scares him. When did death become his shadow? 

“It has been a long time since you last meditated, young Anakin,” Obi-Wan comments quietly, just barely audible over the hum of the machinery. Anakin wonders if Obi-Wan can see the movement of his hands, the way that he’s seeking comfort in you. He hates that Obi-Wan is right about this whole thing. This is attachment. He’d do—did— dark things for you. But if it’s so dark to keep you safe, to protect you, how can the darkness be all that bad? It’s tearing him apart. All he knows now, all that makes sense to him now, is keeping you safe. Whether it’s for himself or the galaxy is a question Anakin does not have an answer to. 

“How can you tell, Master?” Anakin asks. You’re restless on his thigh and, worried you’ll give yourself away to Obi-Wan, he quickly brings his hand over your face, willing the Force to send you into a dreamless sleep. Some peace for you, he hopes. Obi-Wan does not answer his question immediately, only giving him that knowing smile that drives him absolutely mad sometimes. 

“You forget, Anakin, that I know you just as well as I know myself. Even if you have hidden your Force Signature from the world for the protection of the Queen, you cannot hide your emotions from me. They are written plainly on your face,” Obi-Wan responds finally, placing a gentle hand on Anakin’s shoulder. He knows it’s meant to guide him, comfort him, but it just feels… oppressive now. All Anakin can think about is getting you to somewhere that no one can hurt you, where you won’t have to put yourself through what you did ever again. His selfishness tears through him, cuts into pieces his resolve and wish to be a good Jedi. “Anakin, I… I worry for you. In this lonely palace, with only the Queen to keep you company. The Force will never abandon you, Anakin, but you must take care not to abandon it. There is light within you, light that you must foster and protect.” 

“And what happens to that light if I’ve done something horrible, Master?” Anakin asks quietly, trying desperately to find that light within him. Maybe it was snuffed out long ago. Obi-Wan seems stunned by his question, but Anakin’s question remained. Everything that happened today has brought his past to the forefront of his mind. The Sand People, his obsession over Padme… maybe there never was any light in him. 

“It is never too late to turn back to the Light, Anakin.” Obi-Wan doesn’t press further. For his own sake or for Anakin’s, Anakin doesn’t know, but the guidance soothes him anyways. He’s tired. The cold of Tattooine’s desert at night has caught up to him, so many years later, sinking into his skin, threading through his tissues until his heart pumps sluggishly. 

“You and the Queen look unwell,” Obi-Wan observes. “Perhaps the both of you can get some rest, and I’ll talk to Padme to get a lead on which Ministers we can use.” 

“Padme��s here?” Anakin asks. He’s acutely aware of the unchanging pace of his heart, the steadiness of his breath and he realizes that his love for her has faded. All that remains is a genuine, pure fondness for her. It only makes him feel more hollowed. “Give her my regards, will you, Master?” Obi-Wan nods wordlessly as the speeder reaches the service entrance of the palace. Anakin rouses you quickly, the short window of time serving as cover for your silent departure.

Your bleary eyes take in the palace groggily, the beautiful stone walls seeming more and more like a prison as your knees buckle. Before you can fall, Anakin lifts you into his arms, hooking one arm under your knees and the other across your back. You feel safe in his arms, a temporary comfort as he sneaks the both of you back to your chambers. 

By some sheer luck, you reach the room completely undetected. Anakin sets you down and ushers you to the shower. Anakin had done his best to wipe the blood off of you, but it stains you still. The sight of it confronts you as you look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, rings of blood and tired eyes staring back at you. Anakin, noticing the unforgiving scrutiny of yourself, turns you away from the mirror and begins to ease the clothes off your stiff form. He’s hesitant but there’s no choice— you aren’t in the state of mind to be able to take care of yourself, and the longer you stay like this, with the dirt of your crime still smeared on your body, the worse you get. 

“Do you think I’m a monster?” You ask him softly as he undoes the last piece of clothing, leaving you bare to him. The physical vulnerability does not cross your mind as he guides you into the steam of the shower, studying you for a moment before he realizes you shouldn’t be alone. Privacy is not a luxury you can afford right now. He washes his hands, still caked in blood and sand, and joins you in the shower. 

“No, my queen. I think you were forced to make choices that no one should have to make. I think you’ve done your best to keep your conscience,” Anakin responds. He washes his hands and brings them to your face, wiping the blood and dirt from your cheeks with his thumbs. Your eyes flutter shut from his gentle touch, overwhelmed by the intimacy of his care. He moves slowly to your shoulders and neck, easing away the tension in your muscles with each knead of his hand. Your eyes look downwards, to the foamy stream of red dripping off of your body, but Anakin catches the movements and directs your gaze back to his eyes. The spray of the water soaks his clothes, making it cling to his skin as he gently cleans your face. “Hey,” He says quietly. “Forget about that. Just look at me, okay?” You nod, and he quietly washes any blood from your arms. He does it delicately, keeping his eyes fixed on yours even as water drips from his eyelashes onto his cheeks. The shower stream drenches him, making his hair plaster to his forehead, but he doesn’t look away, even as he works down your body, getting to your legs. He’s respectful about it, doesn’t break his gaze away from your face as he kneels at your feet. And from your feet, looking up at you under the harsh bright light of the shower, he thinks that you look like a terrible goddess—powerful, so powerful, burdened with a task that will forever remain thankless. You are a remorseful goddess, the deity of those who never got to keep their humanity. Beyond the hollow sheen of your eyes, he sees it all; the guilt, the sadness, the knowledge that you’ve done something that will stain your soul forever. He cannot look away, captivated by you and the sheer energy you hold. To Anakin, this is right; this subservience to you, bowing at your feet because there is some part of your spirit that demands respect. 

But even goddesses stumble. The distant look in your eyes makes him stand without second thought, holding you up before you crumble into his chest. You shed no tears, merely closing your eyes as Anakin holds you to his body, surrounding you in warmth with the help of the warm water. The warmth of being next to you, the privilege of holding him warms him even as the soaked cloth clinging to his skin chills his bones. He hesitates before he slowly puts his chin on your head, holding you tightly as you breathe shallowly. 

“Remorse is a luxury few can afford,” you mumble into his clothes. Anakin knows you’re right, but Maker, if you don’t deserve that luxury, no one does. Your breathing slows and deepens as you regulate your emotions and distance yourself from it all. 

You are a monster. It couldn’t be clearer to you. Anakin’s handling of you as though you are made of glass only shows his revulsion. He must have held you out of fear, out of responsibility, but it’s a kindness you do not deserve. Is the value of a life worth so little to you? It wasn’t a clean death. It was messy, vengeful, and there was no walking back from this guilt. You killed someone. You’re no better than the woman you killed. 

And then you look into Anakin’s eyes. Eyes like the oceans, like the horizon of a clear blue sky. Eyes filled with compassion, softness, and you realize that you don’t regret your bloodshed. You’d do it again to protect him. To protect his goodness, and the goodness just like his, you’ll take the sins of the world as your own. You’ll become something awful, metamorphosize into something unrecognizable to those who loved you, but it’ll be worth it. Deep down, you’ve always known your fate was something like this; you are a lamb, raised for slaughter. You’ve been staring at the knife that will bring your death for so long. It only makes sense; the death of the Queen of Naboo would only serve the final blow to the people of Naboo. They’d be left defenseless, with no protection against the Separatists, who’d tear the planet apart. You’ll die at their hands or someone else’s, you’re certain. But here, you feel as though your death will mean something. To protect Anakin, to protect Padme, and all the others that you’ve loved in the small moments of kindness that you’ve borrowed from them. You’ll kill, again and again, and be killed, for their sakes. 

“I must see Padme and Obi-Wan,” You say, pulling away from Anakin’s embrace. Your movements are swift, methodical as you get dressed. You’ll act as though nothing happened. You’re a monster, you might as well act the part. You don’t want to see the expression on Anakin’s face as he watches you return to normalcy. You’ll protect him from your guilt, too. “Don’t stay in your wet clothes for too long, you’ll fall sick,” You add. You don’t deserve to care for him, but you care anyway. He’s silent for a beat before he responds. 

“Their meeting is secret. You’ll find them in the hidden passageways of the palace, known only to the Queens. Obi-Wan was led there, but I’m sure you know where to go,” Anakin states. He sounds tired, but you don’t have time to dwell on that. You bid a quick farewell, and head to find Padme.  

~~~

“Padme’s told me that the Political and Economic Advisor Horace Vansil is trustworthy,” Obi-Wan informs you as you join the duo in the shadows of the secret passageway. The lit beacons flicker some distance away from you, casting shadow on to your figure. You’re grateful for it. Padme can read you like a book, so you can only hope that the lowlight will obscure the numbness upon your face. 

“We’ll task him with increasing the import of grain and long-term food sources, then,” You conclude. There’s levels to your response, but you need to be prepared. And to be prepared, you need to be detached. Cool. Collected. 

You blink, and Reyna’s face, bloodied and bloated from death smiles at you in the darkness. She’s laughing, lips pulled into a grotesque, mocking smile. She’ll get away with it, she’s telling you. Listen, she says. Listen to me. You’ll fail. You’ll fail them all. We’ll kill you last, so you’ll have to watch them die before you. You shudder involuntarily. 

“...Milady?” Obi-Wan asks, snapping you out of your nightmarish trance.

“Apologies,” You say, blinking rapidly to refocus. Obi-Wan’s scrutiny is unforgiving, but you pay it no mind. “Yes. We’ll do it,” You respond absently. Padme also looks oddly at you, but says nothing on the subject. 

“There’s one more thing,” She adds. “Something is off about Chancellor Palpatine. I can’t place it but he seems more antsy these days. Getting much more involved in the business of not only Naboo, but nearly every planet and system that has any power in the Republic. It’s… odd, to say the least.” “Speaking of the Republic,” You respond, recalling the interaction you had with Darth Sidious, “there’s something odd that Darth Sidious said to me. He said our forces will be too occupied to help Naboo. I believe that like with the government of Naboo, there’s someone with great power in the Senate who is more than they seem.” Padme nods. “I’ve gotten the same feeling. Things are changing, and I don’t think we have much time left.”

“We’ll give them what they want, then,” You sigh. “If I can arrange a visit to Coruscant, I’ll be in a vulnerable-enough position for them to want to make a move. If we can draw out the mole, we can act.” 

“Padme, your suspicions of Chancellor Palpatine… will Anakin’s friendship with him jeopardize this in any way?” Obi-Wan asks. 

“On the contrary,” You smile bitterly. “I think it could be of great help.”

“It’s settled, then,” Obi-Wan sighs. “You’ll have to come back to Coruscant.”

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

(repost of this with the video directly in the post because vimeo links are acting up)

Rewatching this scene for the sweet angst, something struck me. In hindsight it's extremely obvious but I'd never thought about it this way.

There's the very obvious parallels with Qui-Gon's death, down to Satine caressing Obi-Wan's cheek, there's that amazing bit of mirrored exchange, where Obi-Wan starts off confrontational and angry and Maul gloating, and then Obi-Wan becomes soft-spoken and empathetic and Maul starts to shake with rage and pain and can't even properly face him, and then there's this.

Maul boasts that the Dark Side is "more powerful than [Obi-Wan] knows," that Obi-Wan's "noble flaw" is a weakness, so why is he trying to make him more powerful? Why tell him to use the Dark Side? Why basically give him a crash course about how it works? Does he want Obi-Wan to retaliate? To escape?

The obvious answer is that Maul isn't trying to make Obi-Wan more powerful. After all, he's well aware that Obi-Wan is a dogshit fighter when he's angry.

Immediately after that last quote, he says "that is not the Jedi way, is it?" as a taunt, and again in The Lawless, he insists "You should have chosen the Dark Side, Master Jedi."

So he's simply trying to destroy him as a Jedi, right? Because he knows that's what make Obi-Wan who he is, and he blames Obi-Wan for robbing him of his status along with his life, so he wants to destroy Obi-Wan's life in the ways that matter (since, as Obi-Wan says, just killing him is nothing like destroying him). But if that's the case, then we're back to the "power" issue. What's the point of destroying Obi-Wan if it's by giving him what Maul claims is his own identity, and the key to freedom?

And imo the answer lies right here:

Why would killing Satine make Obi-Wan share Maul's pain? Why would Maul regard the pain of losing a loved one (something he's completely unfamiliar with at this point) as equal to his torment? Why isn't he chopping Obi-Wan in half and keeping him alive with Nightsister magick instead? Why would the murder of one of Obi-Wan's loved ones, picked almost at random, be THE "moment" Maul has been thinking about "for years"?

I think he really isn't talking about Satine's murder in and of itself when he talks of pain. The pain he wants Obi-Wan to share isn't the pain of loss, but very simply the pain of living in the Dark Side.

That's why Satine really is just a "tool" to his vengeance, as he says, and not the main point. That's why he's so enraged that Obi-Wan insists on showing him compassion even through his fear and anger - being kind leaves you open to grief but protects from the agony of the Dark.

Maul wants Obi-Wan to Fall, to stop being a Jedi, not because he truly believes the Dark Side gives you good things, but because he knows the Dark Side makes you miserable.

He tries to freaking teach Obi-Wan how to Fall, like Obi-Wan is a Sith apprentice, because being a Sith is the most miserable you're ever going to get! He tries to make Obi-Wan suffer by making him like him! He's so self-loathing his hatred of Obi-Wan materializes as self-hatred!

And hey, that greatly complements the end of the episode - Obi-Wan resists the Dark Side and escapes the planet, and Maul revels in it and immediately loses the only person he cares about and ends up crawling and crying while Sidious gleefully tortures him. Maul falls victim to every form of suffering he wanted to inflict on Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan flies away. In the end, Maul is proven right: being Fallen really f*cking sucks.

Really accentuates that Maul wanted relief above all when he sought out Obi-Wan in Rebels. He went to the only person who had shown him actual compassion, and the person he knew was best at resisting the Dark Side - so he could finally be free.