#I will never forget my love of this game and the fandom ever again

[angelosearch]

I just realized it was around this time last year that I started replaying FFVIII.

This time was different from all the other times I returned to it. For the first time since my initial playthrough, it brought me into the fold of the fandom. I tried to go on Reddit, but that was not enough. In the few months that followed, my ravenous desire for all things FFVIII led me back to Tumblr.

Since then, this fandom has done so much for me and my mental health. I've made new friends (even irl!). I've learned many, many new skills. Through the act of engaging, by creating, interacting with, and enjoying various fanworks, memes, and theories, I've been given so much joy, inspiration, and even moments of self-discovery.

And, of course, this fandom got me writing again, which has just been all-around life-changing. I used to spend so much time scrolling and watching TV - now I use that time writing.

If you would have told me a year ago that I would be learning how to sing, or dressing in cosplay I made, or finishing writing a 200k word fanfic, I NEVER would have believed you. But having this space to explore and play within the context of this videogame has brought out the best, most passionate version of myself.

Connecting with my inner child, returning to my favorite piece of media, meeting some incredible people; it has all just made me feel good about being alive and has motivated me to get creative in ways I never have before.

I was lucky enough to have the time and space to accept the wonderful things the universe offered me over the last year. As I move into this next (likely extremely busy) phase of my life with grad school and my internship starting, I want to express gratitude and also remind myself that while these pursuits do take energy, they also generate it.

This is my promise to myself: I will continue listening to my inner child. I will not stop writing. I will not forget what brings me joy. Holding onto these things is what makes the hard work and late nights and the stress of a new career doable. I will be a better person if I take the time to engage with my hobbies, and, as a therapist, it will be important for me to model strong work-life balance and professional boundaries for my clients.

To all my mutuals, thanks for being here for the journey. Shout out to a few of my closest fandom friends, as I cannot express how much better you've made my life since I met you: @tr1ck5 @suleikashideaway @irishais @gardengalwrites @aleheartilly @sevlinop @foxtrottcantfindshit @quiettekiyet

[bad268]

Pezzy with a cuddly (almost to the point of being clingy) reader?? (Love your blog & your writing so much! Keep it up!!)

End the Stream (Pezzy X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (I love him and thank you so much <3)

Warnings: Language lol

POV: First Person (I/me)

W.C. 1193

Summary: No one ever said being clingy was a bad thing.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

I would never consider myself super clingy, but sometimes, I just wanted to be held. It was only natural, especially when my boyfriend was streaming for hours. I just wanted to hang out with him, and I felt like I had not seen him recently.

Yesterday, he was streaming all day. Granted, he just got a new computer, and he was preparing for Puffer’s season 2 of The Gauntlet. I remember back when he won the first week of season 1, and it took about 3 hours. Then, the finale took almost 9 hours! I was not prepared for this to happen again.

He had already been streaming for going on 5 hours, and watching the stream could only do so much to fill the void. I knew he was in the same house. Hell, he was just a room over, but I felt lonely without him. 

I decided enough was enough. If I wanted attention, I was gonna get it. Before I set my plan in motion, I opened up the chat and sent a quick message, just to see if he was watching the chat.

“Is your room unlocked?” The text-to-speech read, and Pezzy, at first, looked horrified. He paused the game to look at who sent that but smiled when he saw it was me.

“Oh, yeah, it’s open if you wanna come in here,” He let out a breath, “I thought that was a stalker or something.”

I chuckled as I got up from the bed. I wrapped my throw blanket around my shoulders before walking down the hall to Pezzy’s recording room. I dramatically pushed the door open, just standing in the door ominously until he turned around.  When he did, he almost jumped out of his seat.

“What the hell are you doing?” He shouted in shock as he put a hand on his heart as if to slow his rapid heart rate. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Just keeping you on your toes,” I chuckled lightly as I walked over to him. When I made it to his setup, I asked, “Is this seat taken?”

“What mine?” He asked, but he didn’t wait long as I just sat in his lap. He chuckled before wrapping his arms around me and setting his chin on my shoulder.  “Well, now it is. Is this comfortable for you?”

“Very,” I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his torso and leaned my head against his chest. I looked up at him and met his eyes. “Can I sleep here? I won’t bother you, I promise.”

“You could never bother me,” He whispered back, leaving a kiss on my forehead, nose, cheeks, and finally, my lips before moving one of his hands from my waist to the back of my head. “I’ll be here when you wake up, and I’ll try not to be too loud.”

“I don’t care,” I mumbled, rubbing my face into his chest, “I’ll sleep through anything.”

“I know you will,” He chuckled lightly, kissing the crown of my head before turning his attention to the screen again. The chat was flying by, clips were being made, and his friends and moderators were calling him a simp. A couple specifically caught his eye. “Call me a simp one more time, Puffer, and I’ll call Megan. Grizzy, Droid, shut the fuck up. At least I get some you virgin ass mother fuckers.”

I could not keep a straight face at that as I burst out laughing. I sat up a little, opting to just lean my head against his shoulder as I looked at the screen with him. I glanced over to Discord, and I saw Puffer, Grizzy, and Droid show as active in their chat, so I moved to unplug Pezzy’s headphones before they could join the voice channel.

“Who the fuck are you talking about? I have never once been a simp,” Puffer shouted immediately after joining the call. 

“I beg to differ, Puffer,” I dragged out with a smirk, “You forget that I talk with Megan all the time, and I get to hear all of the relationship gossip. I have the tea and blackmail. Don’t make me pull it out.”

“Bitch,” He muttered.

“I try,” I smirked again before turning my attention to the other two. “Okay, Grizzy, Droid, do you two have anything to comment?”

“After hearing that, no I’ll keep my comments to myself,” Grizzy chuckled nervously. 

“Good, don’t test them,” Pezzy chuckled as he held onto me tighter and kissed my shoulder. 

“On that note, I’m making Pezzy get off,” I said as I leaned forward and took the mouse in my hand going over to the end stream button. “5 hours is enough for you heathens. He’s not streaming tomorrow, and don’t be surprised if he doesn't stream the day after.”

“Why’s that?” Pezzy teased for clarification.

“I miss you, and I want attention sometimes,” I said immediately. “I deserve time with you too.  Is it bad to want to spend time with my boyfriend doing relationship things?” 

“Not really, I get it,” Pezzy relented, “I miss you too if that makes you feel better.”

“I’m sorry, y’all lonely bitches want Pezzy all the time, but I gotta put me first,” I joked, “I gotta put me first.”

“And just for that, I’ll end the stream,” Pezzy laughed loudly as he took the mouse from my hands and ended the stream. “Happy now?”

“Not yet,” I admitted as I turned in his lap to face him. “I just want to stay here in your arms. I’ve missed you, and I feel like you’ve been streaming nonstop.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” He comforted as he brushed some hair away from my face. “Tomorrow, we’re doing anything you want. Name it.”

“But I don't want to do anything,” I whined as I banged my head on his shoulder. “I just want to lay in bed and do nothing. Maybe we make cupcakes or something. Maybe we take a bath together. Maybe we can go for a short bike ride. I don’t know, but I know I don't want to plan anything. Then, I won’t want to do it.”

“Okay, we can play it by year, how about that?” Pezzy offered as he held back a laugh. “We can just see where the day takes us.”

“Now I only get a day? I want at least two days, nothing less,” I snapped my head up as I pointed a finger at him. 

“Deal, two days,” Pezzy settled as he moved his hands to be under your butt, lifting you up.

“Where are we going?” I asked quickly in shock as I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, not expecting to be lifted.

“Timbuktu,” Pezzy replied sarcastically, glaring at you, before lifting his expression, “Our bedroom. Where the fuck else?”

“Wow,” I dragged out as Pexxy walked out of his recording studio and into our room. He set me gently on our bed before leaning over me, giving me a kiss. I moved a hand to his chest as I gently pushed him away. “Take me to dinner first.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[crazylittlejester]

honestly, the fandom dismisses wars trauma a little too much. Have you noticed it’s always never brought up in his character studies? And when it is, it’s totally brushed off him and cia had a WEIRDDD age gap. It’s also weird hyrule warriors never acknowledges this. I honestly don’t think it’s gonna be recognized in LU but idk. It’s just weird how quickly the fandom brushed over all that. What’s your opinion? Cuz you have cool opinions lol

Disclaimer: Everything you’re about to read is my opinion and my interpretation of a game. I’m not talking about headcanons (unless otherwise specified), I’m just talking about my experience with the game and everything else. All of this is from MY perspective interacting with the canon material from both Hyrule Warriors and Linked Universe. Also! I am dyslexic, my bad for oddly autocorrected words or weird spelling mistakes

A huge reason I started yapping so much on this blog was because I saw a lot of people either actively disliking Wars, making fucking INSANE comments about his body, overly sexualizing him, or just straight up dismissing him all together and it helped me get over my posting anxiety because it genuinely made me so upset. He’s been my favorite character since only a few posts into LU (i originally liked Twilight better based sheerly on design but it took like only a few posts before that changed), and I love HW Link in general, and I thought it was actually crazy that more people didn’t like him. I’ve written several of my own characters studies on him, some of which I’ve posted, others lay trapped in my old laptop in the form of a full on analysis paper, never to see the light of day

You can send a full grown man to war and he will come back with trauma, imagine what happens when you grab some poor teenager and tell him everything relies on him. Literally forget Cia for a minute, Link as a teenager was taken and shoved into a full on war where his men turned on him and in order to survive, he had to kill. Monsters and hylians alike, it was him or them, and he’s the one who made it out. Not to mention he was constantly running all over the battle field trying to prevent the hylian captains from being defeated, and he most certainly lost many people he cared about just because he couldn’t get there in time. He had to carry around the guilt that this war was started because some sorceress was obsessed with him ON TOP of that

This was said earlier by an anon on a post I reblogged, and I’ve been saying it myself for months but I will say it again: If Warriors had been a girl and been obsessed over that same way, I fucking GUARANTEE you people would be taking it more seriously

I literally just typed in the character name and the game she’s from and that is what google had to say about her. If an older man was described as ‘harboring serious affections’ and having a ‘desire to claim’ a teenage girl I literally don’t think it would’ve been glossed over or ignored like it is

I don’t think nintendo was ever gonna elaborate or really recognize it in the game, they never go super in depth on anything in Zelda games from my experience, and I doubt Jojo will really get into it in LU mainly just because she has so much going on with eight other dudes and potentially two more (based on the header on the linked universe blog)

I saw a lot of characterizations of Warriors and opinions of him that made me so confused and also a bit mad, such that he is a womanizer or a stupid twink (of which he is neither), and that’s a huge reason I started writing fanfiction for this fandom. Firstly to just create more content for my favorite character because I rarely saw any that focused on him, and secondly because I didn’t like some (NOT ALL) of how I was seeing him characterized. (i cannot emphasize enough: NOT ALL people in the fandom characterized him this way, I saw plenty of amazing and beautiful characterizations of Warriors)

I do not think he is a womanizer at all, in fact I fully believe his flirtatious behavior is a defense mechanism. I think his ‘woman problems’ are the fact that he’s afraid of women (especially older women) he doesn’t know or trust, but also that’s just my opinion. And I am genuinely a bit worried that now that people have stopped talking about how they noticed he seemed off a few updates ago and now that they’re saying he’s back to normal that people are going to start reducing him to a stupid dramatic twink again, as if Warriors was not the one who came up with the initial plan to fight Dink and was not the first one to fight him. As if this is not a man who lead a god damn army. As if everything he’s done and everything he is no longer matters because he’s ‘pretty’

anyways I have a lot of thoughts about him in general and im just glad the fandom has been treating him better as of late, but i am a bit worried it’s just gonna go back to how it was

thanks for the ask!! sorry i got a bit carried away 😭

[runnning-outof-time]

K!! Super congrats on your 3.5k babe - so well deserved 🙌🏼 Thank you for being a beacon of loveliness and positivity in our little fandom ♥️

I’d love to play your blurb game so how about: Forget I ever said that? With Tommy (obvs 🤭). Feels like it could be teasing or angsty but dealers choice, you decide how the spirit moves you, xx

Thanks for sending this in and for your kind words, Alex! I’m sorry it took me a bit to get to it! I hope this is what you were envisioning and that it makes sense. Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!

A Contingency Plan

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: smoking

Word Count: 878

Summary: (Y/N) lets Tommy know her thoughts on how he’s decided to operate now.

“So…” Tommy Shelby trailed off, tapping the ash off of the cigarette that was perched between his fingers without breaking eye contant, “what will it be?”

“What do you mean, Mr. Shelby?” (Y/N) (Y/L/N) asked, confused by the sudden proposition. She moved forward to sit at the edge of her seat, waiting on bated breath to hear what her boss had to say next.

He stared at her for a moment (which felt like eternity to her), sitting still as his cigarette sent a plume of smoke up to the ceiling. She wanted to melt under his gaze. The sounds coming from bar packed full of patrons were now miles away. It was now only him and her in this small room.

“You came in here to speak to me. Sought me out outside of business hours. Why?” he asked her, his voice making her bubble break and everything come flooding back in.

(Y/N) wrung her hands together under the table. She hoped he didn’t catch her nervous demeanor. She wanted to come across as confident, as the person who could finally cut through the cold exterior that Thomas Shelby had built up since the last woman he got involved with took off for New York. But being under his intense gaze now had her wondering if maybe she should abort her mission and just continue being his secretary.

“Well, Mr. Shelby, I’ve been thinking…” she started off, pausing as she tried to gather her words.

“Thinking about what?” his impatience was starting to show through his otherwise collected nature. He had a list of things on his mind at the moment, and if she wasn’t here to speak about what he was hoping she was, he didn’t have any time for it.

“What you said to me a few days ago…about what you saw in me,” she answered, her voice wavering as she uttered the second half of her statement. His eyes were still zeroed in on her, and she felt like she was going to crack under his gaze even more so now than before.

“Oh,” he titled his chin upwards slightly at her statement, showing his intrigue in the situation. “And what will it be?” he asked again, telling her that the final decision was still in her hands.

(Y/N) hated that he was doing this. For a man who so clearly knew what he wanted, and never shyed away from making it known, he sure was playing it close to the tape right now. “You don’t have anything you’d want to ask me?” she tried to flip the question back onto him; put the decision back in his hands.

“I’ve already laid everything out to you. The choice is yours,” he responded in a nonchalant manner, showing her that she wasn’t going to get even an inch of wiggle room in this situation.

His response irritated her. In an instant, all of her nervousness was swapped for frustration, and she was no longer worrying about her demeanor and how it’d make him think of her.

“You know I don’t like the man you’ve turned into,” she started, speaking in a resolute tone now. The switch made Tommy furrow his brows at her. “I don’t like what you’ve become, Tommy. Gra…” she paused, the thought of even speaking that woman’s name putting a bad taste in her mouth, “that woman, she ruined you. Completely, utterly ruined you. And maybe it’s for the better overall, but I can’t see it. Because it’s not better for me. You think you’re better for now giving me a choice on whether or not I’d want to warm your bed…like you’d be completely removed from the situation if it all blows up. That’s not what I want, that’s never what I wanted. I just wish you saw what you see in me now before she sauntered into your life. Because maybe then I wouldn’t feel like I’m just a contingency plan,” she paused then, taking a deep breath and holding it as she realized what she’d just said.

She’d been around the Shelby family since the beginning of Tommy’s push to make things legit. She helped in any way possible because she believed in him and what he was trying to do. His ambition was one of the many things that made him attractive in her eyes, but she tried so hard to keep her personal interests out of it and stick with the business. Now that he seemed to be interested in her the way she had always been interested in him, she just couldn’t will herself to go for it. This was not what she had been imagining…it was the complete opposite of how she wished it would go.

Tommy kept his eyes locked on her as he let her words settle into his mind. She was standing from her seat before he could even think of something to say in response.

“You know what…” she paused, a look that was somewhere between shocked and disgusted now present on her face, “forget I ever said that.” And with that, she turned and opened the door to the snug, exiting the small room and Tommy Shelby’s life at the same time.

**I’m trying to add the taglist in as a reblog in hopes that the notification will actually be sent out.

MASTERLIST

[alienoresimagines]

For the ask game, 1, 3, 15, and 28!

Thank you for the ask, Dawn ❤️ Starting with the last question because if I want anyone to remember one thing from this post, it's those recs so putting this in the Clegan tag for more visibility for the fic recs🫡

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much

The Mota fandom has so many talented writers who share absolute masterpieces so it was so so hard to narrow it down to 3 but I tried to put 3 authors I don't see as often as others in fic recs post and I hope that for those who don't know them, this'll be your sign to read their works ❤️ So, in no particular order and wih hope that I didn't mess up any link :

@amiserableseriesofevents (Link to AO3)

I devour absolutely every single one of Ginia's fics, even those that tear my heart apart because she's the devil and she loves to make everyone suffer. Some of her fics are the definition of "The love is there. It just simply isn't enough" and all of her fics are "The love is there". The way she writes the Buckies falling in love in different ways is so beautiful every single time, no matter what situation she's put them in. I remember Love At Second Sight to be one of the first fics I've ever read for Clegan and it'll always be one of my It fic. Also I think it takes a special kind of skills to be able to write characters in AU while keeping the essence of those characters because they are so shaped by canon that it can be hard to see who they are if you take those circumstances away but Ginia nails it every single time. She has a couple of different AUs, but they're all undeniably John and Gale, and reading them falling in love and getting together in all those different situations is so so wonderful because with her writing it doesn't feel like you're reading but more like you're there, like a little familiar on the protagonist shoulder <3 Only nobody hears when you inevitably howl because there was too much feeling for you to handle lol

Special mentions to those stories that have my entire heart :

I think the love I bear you should make you not to die or the Timelines AU my beloved, precious darling

The man I've looked for that may or may not be one of my comfort fics of all time

ships in the night aka I might just die if they don't meet again and their almost stays an almost because this AU has my life, I would sacrifice anything to have more of them

@caustinen (Link to AO3)

Obviously there's the Hollywood AU that has a very special place in my heart but every headcanon and fic of theirs 😍 I think about those quite often, especially sharp dressed man that's one of my favorite smut fic in the clegan tag! I just love their overall takes on Gale and John, and on Clegan. Even if it's not set in canon, it's always so clearly them that you have no difficulty picturing them in that universe and that really is a feat ❤️ And the diversity of all those universes is mindblowing, I love it, so much creativity and different scenarios to put the Buckies in 🥹

@majorbuckyegan (Link to AO3)

Definitely one of those writers I get a fangirl moment for when they write a comment on one of my fics lol, their never saw the sun shining so bright fic (or Five kisses that Bucky stole from Buck, and one kiss that Buck stole in return) lives in my head rent-free. I can't tell you how many times I've read it and imagined it as a daydream to help me fall asleep, it's one of my favorite fics in the entire world. Also I read it when I hadn't watched Mota yet so that's one of the fics that introduced me to them and I wouldn't be surprised if my own characterization of the Buckies is lowkey inspired by those works like this one that I've read before watching the show. It's so soft and tender, and yet you never really forget the war. The war is everywhere but so is the love and the balance between the two in every single fic is an absolute gem every time. For tonight, let's love like there's no goodbye is also one of my favorite fics in the fandom, the way you just go into John's head and his thoughts and you can feel how much they love each other is so 🥹❤️❤️

It's come to my attention that all three of these writers are also fantastic smut writers so that's important too, especially because personally, I'm not too much of a smut person, my favorite parts of smut are the feelings involved lol, and all three write pure love making, the feelings are so beautiful and merge so well with the smut, I love it 🥹

Also cheating a bit because technically that's a fourth writer but I have to mention you, Dawn 🥹 The Atonement AU is especially dear to my heart, and the snippets you've shared with us are absolutely stunning! I'm truly in love with your writing style, I don't know how to explain it but it's like the love Gale and John have for each other is so raw that it actually kind of chokes me up a bit, because it's so big and they love each other so much 🥹 And the way you weave words together is so lyrical and gripping that you don't just read what they're feeling, you're feeling it with them if you know what I mean. And I'm repeating myself but, even if I know it might not save them, the love in your writing is so overwhelming that it's obvious that you're loving writing it and that might be my favorite part of it <3

This was very nice to do, it's been a while since I've dived in my bookmarks like that! Also served me as a reminder that most of those 180 Clegan fics were bookmarked before I got the nerve to start commenting on fics so adding on the new Year's resolution to go through them again and leave a comment <3

That got very long so under the read more are the answers to the other questions :)

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Well. A typical me-fic starts as a could-be-2k-fic then I start yapping and it ends up over 6k so I suppose I'll try to think of what makes me yap the most. Definitely either pining that the protagonist (usually Gale lol) doesn't see is mutual or the Buckies already being in love and them waxing poetry about each other 🥹 So fluffy/pining love with too many metaphors is probably my comfort zone 🫡

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

I don't know if it's a trope per say, but horror or too gory stuff I'd say. I'm not really into reading it so writing it would be pure suffering I think 😂 Whump and wounds I might dip my toes in but body horror, painful transformation are definitely not in my range

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Oooh this is so tough because when I write I see the scenes in my head like a movie, like the camera closing on certain elements for examples 😭

I'd say either I'm On The Run With You My Sweet Love because I love the setting of the lake in a summer's day, how carefree they can both be and the softness of their love or Never Coming Down With Your Hand In Mine because I could see it so clearly in my mind while I was writing it, the way their hands compliment each other and the contrast between how rough they look vs how gentle they are with the other. Also I could really see the winter light filtering through the window, with little feckles of dust in the air and you can see them sitting side by side, all reddened cheeks from the cold that turn to blushes because they're both in love 🥹 I would love to see Gale's sweet face as he smiles at the ground and John's looking at him so fondly and loving 🥹 The shot of Gale squeezing John's hand back would be so special to me 🥹

[watercolor-hearts]

I just realized I never posted my Brocedes cardiophile story idea but I still love it and think about it a lot, so I thought I’d now share it. ❤

(I don’t know that much about Brocedes, I wasn’t in the fandom when they were a thing but they’re my guilty pleasure ship, I love reading stories where they can communicate and have their happy end.)

This idea was born after Tumblr started showing me posts about Nico commentating the Chinese GP, hoping to have some kind of telepathic connection with Lewis, like he could hear what Nico was saying to help him improve and things like that. 

The way I see Brocedes is something like Nico being totally okay with Lewis, he can talk about him, he can praise him, he can critique him, but Lewis is like “Who the fuck’s this? I’ve never heard of him”. I don’t know if it’s some kind of trauma response from Lewis, I don’t want to go into it because I don’t know all the details. But yeah, it’s a bit important in the story.

The story is about them getting stuck in a lift, and Nico is close to getting a panic attack because of it, and he really needs to hear/feel Lewis’ heartbeat because it’s a comfort thing for him because when they were teens (up until they became rivals and their friendship fell apart) they used to listen to each other’s heartbeat for comfort (and maybe sometimes for science too but that’s not that important here). 

Nico really really needs that comfort but Lewis is like “Don’t even think about it, man” and pretends like everything’s fine because nope, he won’t let Nico feel/listen to his heart again because he knows if he let him, Lewis wouldn’t be able to keep up this behavior, he wouldn’t be able to ignore him anymore because letting him close to his heart again would ruin everything he’d built in the past years. 

Listening to Nico’s heartbeat, feeling it, knowing it meant so much to Lewis in the past and the fact that it was the same for Nico with Lewis’ heart made it all so perfect. But then Nico broke Lewis’ heart and Lewis decided it was over, he fucked it up, and he doesn’t deserve to have it anymore. 

It broke Lewis because they had such a special relationship and then it was over because of Nico’s games and the championship win and the retirement. And ever since their last heartbeat moment, Lewis tries not to think about it. He misses it, he misses holding Nico, he misses working out with him, he misses everything they used to do together but he can’t pretend like nothing’s happened and he isn’t hurt. And it makes him angry that Nico pretends like they’re fine. He can talk about Lewis without any difficulties. That fucker. He can’t let Nico think he didn’t do anything wrong. He wants Nico to know what he’d lost. So no more heartbeats, no more hugs, no more comfort, nothing. Suffer alone, bitch. 

But when Lewis realizes that the situation is more serious than he thought, he lets Nico snuggle him and press his ear to Lewis’ chest. But Lewis doesn’t do anything else for a while because he hopes it’s enough for Nico. But no, Nico needs the hug and the hair petting too. And that’s when Lewis realizes he’s fucked. He does it, and they’re 18 again, cuddling, finding comfort in each other’s presence.

When the elevator is repaired, Lewis leaves without a word, trying to forget everything that’s happened. 

Later Nico sends Lewis a message where he thanks him for the help. Lewis can’t help but ask Nico to come over to his hotel room. He doesn’t say why. Even when Nico’s there he doesn’t tell him why he asked him to come. He just pushes him onto the bed, climbs on top of him, and lays his head on Nico’s chest. He’d never say he needs it but Nico knows him too well. And he’s glad they’re back at it.

Maybe heartbeats can bring them back to each other.

[theotherbuckley]

Inspired by @thatmexisaurusrex

New ask game! Please recommend at least three of your favorite BuckTommy fic authors, artists, meta writers, gif makers, or edit makers. Maybe sing their praises a bit if you'd like. And if you want to, send this to a few other people and spread the good vibes 🥰

Oooo I love spreading positivity!!! Thanks so much for the ask 🫶🏽

Artists: there are SO MANY talented artists out there so I will tag @buffaluff soo many incredible drawings and paintings Buff is so amazing @bigfootsmom Molly has the most perfect drawings including Bucktommy girl dads which is so cute and I love it so much! @iinryer is so talented and draws the most amazing drawings @macaronimars has some really cute art I love @pirrusstuff Pirru has some of the cutest drawings!! @tommys-wings has some incredible art too! There’s one piece of Buck and Tommy kissing in the rain which is so gorgeous I love it! I know there are many other blogs with some incredible art too that I just can’t think of right now!

Gif makers: so many gifs we are so lucky! @xofemeraldstars always has the best gifs and frames of the day are my favourite. @buckera-backup Newbie always has amazing gifs but if currently in the process of getting their account back :/ can’t forget @sunglassesmish always has amazing gifs too!! There’s so many others but once again they seem to be evading me!

Fic writers: oh there are SO MANY. Here’s some: @thatmexisaurusrex who started this ask game has some of the BEST long form bucktommy fics. You can not go wrong with them! @typicalopposite made me cry with their breakup/makeup bucktommy fic “everytime i try to fly (i fall)” @snarkythewoecrow has some incredible fics and has betad my fics in the past they’re amazing 🫶🏽🫶🏽 @wikiangela also has some of the most perfect bucktommy fics just ahh incredible amazing no notes @bidisasterevankinard starting shipping bucktommy before season 7 started so they’re an OG and their fics are perfect (especially if you want spicy) @princessfbi you can never ever ever go wrong with her fics she is such an amazing writer both ficlets and long form I love her writing so so much @diazsdimples is my bestie who writes amazing fics especially dad fics!! He recently wrote piece of bucktommy dads to a bunch of kids that I drew a picture for! @perfectlysunny02 is another fantastic writer especially if you’re looking for some shorter and still perfect bucktommy fics! @firewasabeast has some amazingggggg fics!! Their tumblr ficlets are actually my fav and always bring out so many emotions I love it! @userautumn has some ammmmmazzzzzing fics of all shapes and sizes! @rosetterer has some incredible fics too “something, everything” was one of my favourite fics it was so adorable and perfect. @devirnis you want good smut? Ali is your girl she is so good at it 🔥 okay wow that’s a lot of people already and there SO MANY MORE!!! We are so lucky to have a fandom with so many people contributing and sharing I love all of you💜

Okay and because I can’t leave out people here’s some more amazing blogs to follow!! @smallandalmosthonest @30somethingautisticteacher (has an amputee buck fic which I am yet to read but know will be amazing) @evanbi-ckley (currently writing a kink club au that I’m a little obsessed with) @watchyourbuck @bambibuckley @half-oz-eddie (hilarious incorrect tweets/texts) @lavenderleahy @actuallyitsellie (some really cute art too) @monsterrae1 @agenttommykinard @buckevantommy there’s so many more but I can’t think of them right now!!! I think I went a little overboard but damn our fandom is huge!

Also not to shout out myself but shout out to my own blog because I do art, write fics, make Bucktommy incorrect tweets, make gifs, and more! 🫶🏽🫶🏽💜

[galactickohipot]

Going thru the ER fandom after the DLC really is fun. It's the first rodeo with a souls game for a large portion of the fandom it seems... It's mostly people raging about the difficulty of the last boss, or Radahn fanboys freaking out abt their man. It feels like the fact Elden Ring exposes its lore very openly in comparison with other titles, pushes some people to take it very literally too. Those people often forget that the lore is in service to a broader narrative, and lose themselves in tiny details at the expense of the feeling the story is supposed to evoke. imo that's always how Soulsborne were supposed to be read, but the lore was so nebulous in comparison that it's what people would naturally default to. That said, I really enjoy watching deep dive videos about the lore, bc those games are so well crafted. It's just really satisfying! Anyways, here are my (unorganized) thoughts on the ending:

So far, we really don't know if Radahn did consent. That's the point: the text emphasizes what Miquella wanted, but never questions what others around him truly desired. If anything, people asking the question themselves had the intended effect. That's pretty great, me thinks! Funnily enough, Miquella/Radahn are kind of a subversion of the Power of Love character/Shonen protag tropes, except you are on the receiving end of it.

On the other hand, my interpretation is that the promise was made by a very young and impressionable Miquella, a very long time ago. Like a promise a tiny child would make, innocently. It's tragic that in his and Malenia's horrible situation, it probably meant so much him. At the same time, I would imagine an older Radahn would pay it no mind at all. My interpretation of Radahn is of a simple and honest guy; kind but ultimately unconcerned with these issues. It feels like he'd be the most down to earth and straightforward of all the demigods in that regard. The vow was probably lost to time, in an age and a context that was vastly different from after the Night of the Black Knives and the Shattering. How sad is it that it probably meant so much more to Miquella than anybody could've imagined. It's heartbreaking, that after centuries, this is all Miquella could hold onto, as well as the tiniest hope he could make the world a gentler place. He sacrificed everything for it and yet still... it was all so very naive.

And even then, what did Miquella truly bring back? After so long, after loosing his wits, eating corpses and fighting off the rot for an eternity, what was there left of Radahn to restore? An idealized and distant memory perhaps? Even if he tried to create an alternative to his mother's order, Miquella still made the same mistakes. And so he resurrected a person that spent his life trying to emulate Marika's Lords and champions.

A part of me would like to think that Radahn's heroics were more genuine than Godfrey's or Radagon's ever were. That despite having these two as role models, he took better decisions and was a more accepting person ( also he had a pet cat and Leonard come on!) Yet, Radahn still represents an outdated ideal of what a Lord should be, especially for Miquella's intended "Age of Compassion". He is a character whose development was left during the Shattering, untouched forever. Would this have been another cycle of the same thing? Would Miquella have made the same mistakes as his Mother again, and would he also have reached the same breaking point? Could the same cause have the same effects? In learning about Miquella, we learn a lot about Marika; the inverse is true too. The Shaman Village revelation is two-fold. We learn of her kindness without Order: the genuine sadness she had for her people, and her true honest motivation. Kindness was intially the reason behind her action, just like Miquella. We know from St. Trina that just like him, her godhood ended up being a prison. Her kindness "with Order" is conditionnal and institutionalized. We know of the unconditionnal love all of her children yearned for, the afflictions they suffered because of her actions, and the strong reactions they had towards all of it. We see her struggle, between the love she wants to give her children and the order she is supposed to uphold. When this paradox becomes too much for her to bear and her kids are either killed, cursed or rebelling, she breaks. The vessel she molded herself into is then exploited, until grounded to dust, until Ranni lets her go or Chaos swallows everything. By contrast, when it is revealed Rennala was exploited and betrayed, she is solely reduced to her motherly role; earning her the scorn of her people. She rebirths children anew, in a process that ultimately became sterile. Mother Metyr, herself a daughter of the Greater Will, is abandonned and broken, forever waiting for a sign from her maker. Finally, Count Ymir, who is quick to place the blame on Marika, truly fails to understand the heart of a mother.

Miquella's ending in the dlc is also a perfect parallel to Ranni's ending. While Miquella promises you an age where you won't have a choice but to be loved and saved, Ranni gives you an age of loneliness and uncertainty, wherein she'll grant you the free will to save yourself. Miquella's action started selflessly, as he was intent on helping others above all else; while Ranni started her quest because she selfishly didn't want the Greater Will dictating her fate. If you put your love and compassion in the hands of a God that won't give you a choice in the matter, is it truly love anymore? Is it the unconditional love that you dreamed of anymore? Isn't it an issue if you rely on an external figure for these matter (ie a godly mother figure)?

All those years ago, I started playing Dark Souls because I watched an essay about it. It ended with something like: "You despair when you realize everything is pointless, and you become wiser when you realize you can find your own meaning. Dark Souls is a game that makes you happier, because it makes you just a little bit wiser." Maybe this game is about finding acceptance. Although this may start as a lonely road, you still have the power within you to love yourself and others, regardless of the love you were given. It's difficult and it takes a lot of courage, but you already beat this game so why not? But also, they made jar people so you would feel bad about breaking clay pots in their games. You can throw dung at gods and dragons, and Radahn is a shounen protagonist... so who knows lol

[amber-laughs]

how far do you think ned would have gone to hide jon's parentage? e.g. if someone found out would he make them have a little accident so they died or something like that? or do you think he would feel it is too far?

I've thought about this before! I think its one of those questions where most people in the fandom would have a different nuanced answer and none of them would be wrong. So let's start with: Ned has already answered this question (kind of).

"He saw us. You love your children, do you not?" Robert had asked him the very same question, the morning of the melee. He gave her the same answer. "With all my heart." "No less do I love mine." Ned thought, if it came to that, the life of some child I did not know, against Robb and Sansa and Arya and Bran and Rickon, what would I do? Even more so, what would Catelyn do, if it were Jon's life, against the children of her body? He did not know. He prayed he never would. Game of Thrones - Eddard XII

First of all I hate when people use this scene as a “Ned doesn’t see Jon as his son” moment because imo it’s the opposite. He doesn’t list Jon with his bio children but he’s saying he’d react with the same paternal instinct and, unlike Cat, he wouldn’t save them at the expense of Jon. So we have half an answer. Would Ned sacrifice Jon's life for Robb's? No. But would Ned sacrifice anyone life for Robb's? Jon's? Sansa's? etc. We don't know for sure because he doesn't either. But we do have some instances of what happens when Ned feels his family is being threatened.

"A brothel," he said as he seized Littlefinger by the shoulder and spun him around. "You've brought me all this way to take me to a brothel." "Your wife is inside," Littlefinger said. It was the final insult. "Brandon was too kind to you," Ned said as he slammed the small man back against a wall and shoved his dagger up under the little pointed chin beard. A Game of Thrones - Eddard IV

Ned Thinks Catelyn is being disrespected and shoves a dagger to Littlefinger's throat I mean come on!

(...) in bed one night, Catelyn had asked her husband the truth of it, asked him to his face. That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her. "Never ask me about Jon," he said, cold as ice. "He is my blood, and that is all you need to know. And now I will learn where you heard that name, my lady." She had pledged to obey; she told him; and from that day on, the whispering had stopped, and Ashara Dayne's name was never heard in Winterfell again. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn II

Specifically for R+L=J Ned does not like being questioned. He scared Catelyn so bad she didn't bring up Jon's mother again for a least a decade. He presumably scared the servants and soldiers so bad they never mentioned Ashara again.

“Still, she was struck again by how strangely men behaved when it came to their bastards. Ned had always been fiercely protective of Jon.” A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VI

And there we have it. And let's not forget if Robert found out about Jon it's not just him that dies, Ned dies and if Robb takes up arms against them he probably dies too like in the WotFK which is only if nobody Lannister style takes them all out before anyone has time to get that far. So in my personal opinion yes, if somebody found out about R+L=J Ned would do what he needed to do.

[sawyer-is-eepy]

goodbye campfire fest!!

this has been so so much fun- i'm so happy i got to be able to be a part of this wonderful event with so many talented artists and writers- it's been so beautiful seeing everyone's interpretations and writing and i've loved seeing everyone come together to create something unique. being so excited to open tumblr everyday and see what people's contributions are has been the highlight of my days this week, and it's so cool to me that i can be a part of this for the first event, and even though it was a teensy bit stressful, i'm so glad i've been able to hit all the prompts.

i can't wait to see what people might post during late submissions!! gonna keep checking every day to see. I've found many new talented artists and writers I had never seen before through this event, you all are seriously so nice and have been so sweet to me and to each other, this event has made me so happy.

I can't wait to see more from all of you. happy fest and much love!

@outerwilds-events

some more doodles(base game and eote spoilers) + random sappy rambling (positive vent?) below cut

some other random doodles from this weekend <3

yes I gave prisoner ears. I'm sorry I'm too much of a furry for this fandom aha

on a serious note, this fandom and this game have been my favorite thing about this year so far. Seriously, I was actually having a really tough couple months around the start of this year. I was dealing with a really really toxic friend in November and December and I was struggling to get over them. I was having a hard time letting go of my hurt and of the memory of them and our friendship- I was hurt and angry and I missed how great it was in the beginning. It was really tough for me, I didn't have any way to distract myself and I didn't have a way to let out my feelings. I felt stuck and trapped with a horrible memory and I didn't have the motivation to let it go. Then comes along this silly little game, that I remembered trying to play forever ago. I decided that I should probably try to play it again, and god it was the best decision I've ever made. This game, it has brought me so so much joy. I finally felt like I was able to let go and learn to move on and just enjoy the good memories while still remembering that they're in the past and while I can't change what happened, I can look forward to the future and hope. this game helped me cope with the grief, it helped me learn how to take care of myself and recover. It affected me so much in many ways, I will never ever forget it. This community has also brought me so much happiness, I've met so many wonderful and kind people, and I've became friends with some really cool people(one person in particular has been especially swaggers, you know who you are you weirdo /affectionate /plat). campfire fest has been great and I'm glad I got to be a part of it!! When I was thinking of what to draw for today, all I could think of was the immense amount of support I've received and given, and seen being passed around. So I figured it should be something to express that love!! Much love, and goodbye to campfire fest!! Can't wait to do this again next year <333

[choicesfandomappreciation]

It’s spread kindness week! And who would I be if I didn’t leave a bit of pink & glitter for everyone to enjoy 🩷 ✨

I haven’t been active a lot. I’ve been dealing with the passing of my beloved dad. Which is still hard to grasp for me. It‘ll be 4 months on 11/29/24 and to know he touched so many lives of people who’ve known him in person and those who didn’t means a lot to me. But honestly? I’m glad and thankful to have been able to spend as much time with him as I could. Especially when it was time for him to go, you all came together with prayers, kind words and support, something I’ll never be able to repay or forget. So thank you for that! I hope you know how much this means to me 🥰

So I’d like to mention some people that I call friends 🌸 (don’t worry this won’t be the only post I make 🥰)

@aallotarenunelma I am beyond happy we’ve grown close and that we’re able to talk and exchange messages. It’s as if we’ve know each other for years and I’m so so happy we’re friends. Your constant support and kind words, help me through the toughest of my days. Our chats about our characters & stories and the way we hype each other up means the world to me. Puno mi znaći što si uz mene, nemogu ti opisati koliko mi znaći, hvala još jednom puno na svemu 🩷 Grlim te 🩷

@cariantha Cariii! It’s hard to find words and describe how much our friendship means to me. Not only do you make me laugh with all your stories, but you’re a true friend. I remember when you first joined tumblr, I was so happy to see a new person join our little family fandom. And then I saw all your stories and I fell in love with your writing and Sawyer & Ethan. It brings me a lot of joy to know you’re here. Your reblogs and your gif game is on point girl! Thank you for being there for me, for making me laugh and simply for being my friend. Love you to the moon and back 🩷

@mysticalgalaxysstuff I know you’re rarely on tumblr M but I do miss you and our talks. I hope you see this message and you’ll feel hugged 🩷 Your outpouring of love and friendship is and will always be appreciated 🩷

@secretaryunpaid You were one of the first people I’ve met on tumblr and we instantly connected. I hope you know how much our friendship means to me. Keep on shining! 🌺🩷🌸🥰

@thosehallowedhalls Caro!!!! You’re back. Which means I can tag you again, and you’ll see this message 😍 I am so so happy we became friends and shared messages. Your stories, your characters and you as a person make this fandom even brighter so thank you for all your kind words and burst of positivity it means the world to me 🩷🌸

@aria-ashryver Ariii! First of all. What a light and luminous presence you are despite everything that you’re going through. You find time and space for all of us. Whether it’s a kind message or a kind word, please know it’s more than appreciated. And don’t even get me started on your stories they’re amazing 🩷 Keep on glowing 🩷

@dutifullynuttywitch Léa! You’re one of the nicest and kindest people I’ve ever met! From the time you joined I just wanted us to be friends and we became friends 😍 (how awesome is that?) Thank you for being you! Kind, compassionate, nice and a damn good writer 🥰 And all in all an amazing person, never let anyone tell you different 🩷

@quixoticdreamer16 Your constant enthusiasm and support really are amazing. You’ve been so kind to me and everyone else. You take the time to reblog and leave a comment under my stories and for that I’m truly grateful. Thank you for being my friend and thank you for being you 🩷🩷

@jerzwriter Els 🩷 Where to start?! You were one of the first friends I made on tumblr. I saw your stories & your writing style and was really impressed. I was like damn she’s good! The joy and laughter I experience when I read your stories helped me through many dark days in my life and for that I want to thank you. Thank you for being supportive, thank you for being my friend, thank you for being real when I needed it and thank you for just being you! Never change because that’s what makes you unique 🩷

@the-pale-goddess Hilde! I had to mention you my dear friend. Even though you’re barely on tumblr these days that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you and obsess over Tiffany & Ethan and your stories. You’re such a talented writer. You’re a beautiful and amazing person inside and out. You’ve been so supportive of me, my stories and my characters it’s truly amazing thank you for that! I hope we’ll see more of you on tumblr. Sending a lot of hugs your way 🩷🩷

Again thank you to everyone who’s ever touched my heart it means the world to me 🩷🩷

💛

[foxes-that-run]

But Daddy I Love Him

Daddy I love him is an Ariel quote, when Ariel gives up her voice for love. Taylor has given up love for her voice (career), but also not spoken up for what she wants most. But Daddy I Love Him is a continuation of a theme of how fame and fandoms have affected Taylor's personal life. What I love about this song is it sounds like an older Taylor Swift song, she embraces a country sound and speaks her mind.

While the parallels to the reaction to a relationship in May 2023 can be seen, this overlooks much of her experience with this behaviour. I don't mean to say it is not an element, but it is far from a complete story to say it is about ending a 3 week relationship with someone about whom she also said "And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive" on the same record.

In her NYU Graduation address in May 2022 Taylor had part of the concept in this already swirling in her mind, a full year before she dated Matty Healy:

Having journalists write in-depth, oftentimes critical, pieces about who they perceive me to be made me feel like I was living in some weird simulation, but it also made me look inward to learn about who I actually am. Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely. Being publicly humiliated over and over again at a young age was excruciatingly painful but it forced me to devalue the ridiculous notion of minute by minute, ever fluctuating social relevance and likability. 

What Taylor is referring to is the treatment by the media and fandoms throughout her career, but this was never more of an issue than 2012-2014. Nothing is a terrifying as a teenager on fledgeling social media. This TikTok creator describes it perfectly:

From tabloids, twitter, tumblr, even people who looked like Taylor were abused.

So yes, Harry has had and worn t-Shirt with the song title for years, and yes they have both dressed up as Ariel. But that is not all that makes this song about Taylor loosing her love over fan behaviour... it's because she did. She lost the love she wrote 1989 including "This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark"  about. And it continues today, there are a lot of people who still call Harry's partners vile names and think it is OK to treat others poorly because they suggest he could care for someone. I think anyone who's read this far knows exactly what I mean, probably first hand.

This affected Taylor the point the Clean Speeches on the 1989 Tour were on this topic, every night she talked about bullying, self worth and holding onto love.

The 'Daddy' is not just the fans and media, but probably her team also. I think the varied shapes in the CDs are to show this comes in many forms and roles, not just one experience. As Taylor said to Rolling Stone in 2014 before 1989 was released:

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun I just learned these people only raise you To cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing, “What a mess” I just learned these people try and save you ‘Cause they hate you

For the international fans like myself 'How the West was Won' is a 1960's film about American colonisation. I think the opening 2 lines do 2 things, place us in a country setting and also tell us Taylor cares more about speaking her mind than what may be higher bigger goals.

The second half of this verse goes on to set out that it is fans who are approaching her love lost as trauma porn, and I am here for it.

I also note the cage reference, Taylor (and Harry) have a long theme of being caged or trapped by fame, she has a literal cage in her Nashville apartment, he has a cage tattoo and they have used cage, glass boxes, fishbowls, snowglobe imagery. Here she points out the fans are not really there for her, they are seeking to control her.

[Pre-Chorus 1] Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted

The pre-chorus furthers that the final straw has been broken, she's been cornered by fans to give up something she cares for.

Vigante Shit "Ladies always rise above / Ladies know what people want / Someone sweet and kind and fun /The lady simply had enough"

Is It Over Now? "I was hoping you’d be there and say the one thing I’ve been wanting, but no"

That is the only time Taylor has sung about ‘wanting one thing' before. This also reminds me of the Delicate Behind the Scenes, where she said she got a note from a lover and wants to be with him but realises 'it can never be him'

[Chorus] Now I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Scrеaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through thе fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

In the chorus Taylor acts out a churlish child yelling at a father. The 'daddy' is many roles, her actual parents, fans, media and probably record company and PR people who told her she could be with the one she loved, throughout her life. She says the matching line to Harry's Kiwi, which has the same meaning.

Taylor 'floors it through the fences, fed up and unwilling to listen. This is great imagery, to break through fences, and also as metaphorical fences that have been placed around what considered acceptable for her. Cars are also a Haylor theme, including Run below and often used as a metaphor for their love escaping as it is here. (All I know is that you drove us off the road / Let’s get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds)

Is It Over Now?: Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

Run: And my so-called friends, they don’t know I’d drive away before I let you go

In Kiwi Harry yells a tabloid line followed with it's none of your business. In his Harry's House ONO complete with pointing at the camera and crowd. Taylor also referenced these same tabloids headlines in the Reputation magazine.

Kiwi "I'm having your baby / It's none of your business"

[Verse 2] Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growing up precocious sometimes means Not growing up at all He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough, the elders had convened Down at the city hall

In the second verse Taylor establishes that she has gone everything asked of her:

Style - "I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt"

Style - "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Yet is denied freedom and the elders decree the match is unsuitable. I think the elders are her team. She describes the muse as chaos and revelry. This is very reminiscent of the I Knew You Were Trouble introduction poem, but while in 2012 Taylor was contrite and said it was too much she now revels in the revelry:

"And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again, but I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him it was losing me"

[Pre-Chorus 2] “Stay away from her” The saboteurs protested too much Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love

The 'daddy' has now forbidden the love, this is reminiscent of Love Story: "And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet”

[Chorus] And I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through the fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

'Crazy' and Madness are a Haylor theme, particularly in the Blank Space music video, and these lyrics

Wonderland "And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad"

Kiwi "She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it (Oh) and "It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it"

But many more songs:

[Post-Chorus 1] I’ll tell you something right now I’d rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning I’ll tell you something ’bout my good name It’s mine alone to disgrace I don’t cater to all these vipers dressed in empath’s clothing

I love the last line, vipers dressed in empaths clothing, that is exactly what they are.

[Bridge] God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny You ain’t gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it’s just white noise, and it’s just my choice

The only time Taylor has described someone as wild in lyrics is in Style "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Afterglow "Chemistry until it blows up"

I love the end of the bridge, elsewhere on the record Taylor describes her long term relationship as grey, staid and boring. For many years some fans have shoehorned this person into lyrics because they want to see themselves in her, as they settle down they want her too. From my point of view some rather loud warning signs in songs were overlooked, or seen as 'she's remembering the past/when they first got together' to avoid accepting she was unhappy and wanted out.

Out of the Woods "The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color"

[Verse 3] There’s a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But fuck ’em, it’s over

This verse is where I think it becomes clear than the 2023 lens is at best reminding Taylor of a past love, because that relationship never came back. Matty has said they never dated in 2014, there was no controversy around her attending concerts then. They dated for a few weeks then stopped talking, and of story.

However Harry and Taylor did sing about a hidden relationship for years. In fact Taylor wasn't connected to anyone else in a serious way for three years. In particular

Wildest Dreams: I said, “No one has to know what we do”

This Love "This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh"

I know places : "Somethin' happens when everybody finds out / See the vultures circling, dark clouds" and "we're bulletproof I know places (Hide) and you know for me, it's always you"

…Ready For It?: "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know"

I Know Places TV's lyric video for got a very TTPD themed look.

[Final Chorus] Now I’m dancing in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I’m his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn’t it give some perspective? And, no, you can’t come to the wedding I know it’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

Taylor is asking her fans, parents, media if they have grown up, from when they were teenagers playing with her real life, do they have perspective and willing to accept that she loves someone of her choosing?

And no, they can't come to the wedding, but I bet they have Eras Tour tickets.... and some showed up at Jacks.

[justallihere]

20 Questions for the Writers Tag Game!

I was tagged by @widebrimmedhatsblog

1. Total number of AO3 works

8!

2. Total AO3 word count

291,174

3. Fandoms I've written for

The only thing I've ever really published that's been popular is The Empyrean. I have a couple ACOTAR ideas but they've never seen the light of day

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

storm in the quiet (5,357)

simmer (609)

invisible in a violet sea (515)

violence in my veins (499)

somehow i still love you more (499)

5. Do I respond to comments?

....sometimes. Generally no because I'm really horrible at making time for it. But know that I read them all over and over again!! I'm trying to be better

6. What has the angstiest ending?

Everything that's currently posted has a happy ending. Storm in the quiet has the most angst overall, and some people might find the ending angsty but I don't think it is lol

7. What has the happiest ending?

Probably somehow i still love you more. Just Xaden and Violet and their baby, living their happy lives 😌

8. Have I received hate?

Not really! A couple people here and there who I think either didn't get the point of some of my work or it wasn't their thing and they told me about it anyway, but no outright hate

9. Do I write smut? And what kind?

Yes. Anything with a praise kink basically

10. Do I write crossovers?

Nope.

11. Have I ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have I ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! Maybe someday someone will want to.

13. Have I ever co-written a fic?

I have not. I'm so particular about my writing I don't know how it would go for me lol

14. What is my all time favorite ship?

For the Empyrean, Riorgail are my babies 🥰

15. A WIP I'll never finish?

Uh I started a Violet/Aaric fic set during Iron Flame that I don't think I'll ever pick back up

16. Writing strengths?

Dialogue and probably descriptions? I love taking the time to describe what the characters are seeing and feeling

17. Writing weaknesses?

Any type of action/fight scene. I hate it so much

18. Do I like foreign language dialogue?

A lot of untranslated dialogue when I'm reading takes me out of the story because I have to keep translating it myself. As far as writing, I don't really write it because I don't speak other languages besides English, so I wouldn't want to get it wrong

19. First fandom I wrote for?

I think it was PJO way back in the day? It never got published

20. Favorite fic I've written?

storm in the quiet. It's so long but it's really been a labor of love and the response I've gotten to it isn't something I'll ever forget. It's been an incredible experience sharing it with everyone 💕

I don't have anyone to tag so if you want to participate please do!!!

[dreadfutures]

Fan Work Friday

Rules: If you’re tagged, MAKE A NEW POST to showcase one fanartist and/or fanfic for any fandom you recommend (with links), and tag someone to give their recs next! Don’t forget to reblog the rec you were tagged in, and include these rules! :)

Bonus: Choose works by people you aren’t super tight with, or choose older works that maybe haven’t gotten some love in a while. :)

Fanartist: @kiivg

The first time I saw one of kiivg's pieces, I had the thought: I've never seen anything like this. Then I did a double-take, because even though I can't pinpoint it, this style strikes me as quintessentially storybook. It should be on the cover of a comic, or it should be a bonus chapter illustration in your favorite novel--both because of the striking style and the amount of STORY King packs into each single standalone piece.

The first of King's works I saw was one that I consider really KING now: oriented so that I had to tilt my head to get the full picture. I find it only pulls me in deeper, looking really closely at every detail before I get the full picture. Here's one of my favorites (give it a reblog!):

Definitely give King a follow. When they do post art, they have plenty of Dragon Age, Cyberpunk, and BG3 art to wow you with!

Fanfic: its free son - SlinkySpiders

The note I had in my bookmarks was: "there are elotes in gotham and this author is my hero"

SURPRISE this is a fanfic for the Robert Pattinson The Batman film, which I think is a nearly perfect hopepunk movie, and the first Bruce Wayne I've ever seen on film who NEEDS A ROBIN. So here, have a batdad and his kid.

I love an awkward man trying his best to be a parent to a kid who has the same problems he did. Let's parent our inner childs through real children, that's my weakness. Also, Dick gets to be childhood friends with Barbara Gordon, so that's great.

It's "unfinished" but I think it does just fine for what it is, and I hope people enjoy!

Rating: G Pairing: Bruce Wayne & Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne & Alfred Pennyworth, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne Chapters: 2 (unfinished) Length: 11,678 Summary: Three years after the events of the Riddler, Bruce finds himself taking care of an eleven-year old, completely out of his depth.

That's my post for this week! I'm excited to see what everyone tags me in. It's been great to find new artists and fics through this game. :)

Tagging:

(again, for any fandoms! let's spread the positivity <3)

@thedreadblog | @noire-pandora | @wolfsskull

@demarogue | @thevikingwoman | @anneapocalypse | @fiadhaisteach | @victoriousscarf

@kiastirling

@warpedlegacy | @rakshadow | @rosella-writes | @effelants | @bluewren | @breninarthur

@ar-lath-ma-cully | @inquisimer | @crackinglamb | @theluckywizard | @nirikeehan

@oxygenforthewicked | @exalted-dawn-drabbles | @melisusthewee | @blarrghe | @delicatefade

@leggywillow | @about2dance | @plisuu

[momentomori24]

Being a soushin fan and Sou/Shin stan is a constant, annoying push and pull (for me). Like, on one hand I love seeing a doomed relationship. I love seeing how there was love and affection there-- twisted, deeply unhealthy and destructively toxic, but it was still there. I love seeing a massive rift between that keeps that distance between them, but they're so intimately close all the same. I love seeing love and longing and hate and bitterness clash into an ugly, painful, confusing mess of emotions. I love seeing moments before the death game when things were "easier", where Shin was "happier", knowing that he never had any chance of winning in a friendship with a man like that. I love seeing two complicated men too obsessed with each, clinging to a scarf or a picture or an AI when they can't be together, seeking each other out to the point where'd they'd destroy each other and themselves eventually.

And on the other hand I want to see Sou be able to move on. I want to see him heal. I want him to be able have a life outside of Midori's influence. Letting go of that scarf, of taking on that persouna. Of having to be suspicious of everyone around him. Of being afraid of anyone getting too close. Of acting cruel and playing strong so no one can hurt him like that again. Of having that past trauma leak into his new relationships like it did with Kanna. I want him to be happy. To get better-- be better. Be himself. Not Shin, not even Sou. Just... him. Who ever he finds himself to be after the dust has settled on the horrors he's faced.

One part of me wants them to be impossibly close, so entangled in each other that it's sufficating, while the other want them to be as far apart as possible, of it never being able to be the same again, of Sou cutting himself free from that relationship, from him, and live freely until he forgets what it was like to have been haunted at all.

Which is funny because. Literally 95% of my Soushin experience is usually Shin, despite the abuse and manipulation Hiyori puts him through, choosing to stay. Seeing no other option but to stay. Loves him-- or wants to, thinks he wants to-- and submits to it, submits to him, stuck in that vicious cycle which he believes to be his "happy ending" yet again. And like, I love it, I love some super angsty, toxic soushin cuz I'm a soushin degenerate, but MAN it kills the Sou lover in me to see him like that. Sou, Shin, the love of my life-- RUN AWAY, get AWAY from that man, throw him off a balcony. Ditch his ass, you deserve BETTER (I say, also an avid Keisou shipper. I just headcanon he has shitty taste in men that... don't really have his best interest in mind XD poor baby)--

Btw, while I'm at it and this is about Sou anyway. I'm waving my finger and spitting in your face, Yttd fandom. I don't give a flying flip if the emotion route is more positive in tone or you believe that it's "canon" or whatever. I'm keeping Sou alive at all cost to spite the game, him and all of you guys. I will win him that second chance of happiness, prove that 0.0% a lie and carry that walking wet noodle bridal style into the moonlight to put a ring on that finger or I will DIE trying.

[indieninja92]

Hello! Sorry to reach out as a tumblr anon (I've just never been brave enough for ao3 comments sadly and I'm mostly a lurker in the GO fandom) but, I saw your post about the goobers fic and I just felt a strong urge to put something positive in your inbox and thank you so much for writing it :) It is, genuinely no exaggeration, one of my favourite fics I've ever read- I love all your fics tbh but this one's my favourite! Your take on them is so incredible and unique, and I think you capture their banter and their bond like no one else. There's such a sense of warmth and safety throughout as well that keeps me returning to it again and again. I adore every single chapter. I totally understand your decision to stop writing it too (I think readers can forget sometimes that such a decision often isn't easy for the authors! I'm sorry if you've heard self centred reactions) and while ofc I'd obviously jump at the chance to hear anything you're comfortable sharing about your plans for the rest of it, I also respect your right to keep that info to yourself if you want to far more! We as readers are not entitled to a single thing; we are gifted and so lucky for the chapters you wrote and chose to share with us. Thank you so much for the nine chapters you put out there- I know I absolutely will be returning to them for rereads <3

Thank you so much, this is so sweet!! I'm enormously proud of it, genuinely think it's some of the best writing I've ever done. Every chapter was an absolute joy to write, I loved the research process and getting into their heads for each new time period - and planning their little outfits! Fortunately I haven't had any negativity for abandoning it, the post yesterday was more a response to the anon message in the original post rather than reflecting my own experience. People have been very kind about it overall!

As for my plans for the rest, there wasn't a huge amount to go - we left off in the 1980s, and then we were going to jump to them raising a little 4 year old Warlock. I had a very cute scene planned of Warlock's dad being delighted the boy had asked for one of those toy cars they can drive around in because he wanted a big black one which his father assumed was because he wanted to look like a secret service guy, but is actually just because he loves being driven around in Nanny's Bentley. They were going to play some fun little kid games, probably bring back knucklebones, and then have a game of Scrabble (Crowley was going to cheat) before some Feelings Talk.

After that, I was going to do the bus ride home from Tadfield with them playing a game that I know as Cowboy Karaoke (one person picks a word and the other has to sing a bit of a song with that word in), more Feelings Talk while Crowley has a bath, and then a round of Gin Rummy after the body swap when they're feeling a bit too anxious to get to the looming franoodling. And then, of course, the franoodling!

Finally, I was going to do a little epilogue in the South Downs cottage which is mostly kissing, including Aziraphale dutifully keeping to the schedule that Crowley calculated in 1983 to pay his kiss debt. Also, Crowley finally finds out what the moon is.