#I will also ramble about our writing process and our ideas for hours

[ghsface]

so this is what I wrote so far I had an idea while I was taking a bath and I had to write it. Tell me what you think, I'm not very good at writing since I haven't done it for a long time so I need your opinion. this will have smut btw and I'm also sorry if this has spelling mistakes or misspelled words my first language is not English

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

It was never a good idea to have a themed dinner at my house. It was all because of the idea that Penelope gave me when I said I was going to have a dinner after a case that left us all exhausted.

There were only hours until my guests arrived and I still hadn't showered and didn't know what to wear.

Emily would arrive in a few minutes to help me prepare the food. Just as I'm about to open my closet with all my clothes the doorbell rings letting me know that Emily was here to help me. I went to the door and opened it and it didn't take long for her to say

“What are you doing dressed like that, I thought you would be ready by now?” Emily looked at me worried knowing that it would never take me that long to get dressed.

“em, I don't have anything to wear, I should have said no to Penny when I said about the themed dinner, I don't have anything fancy or anything like that and I won't wear what I wear to work because it's for washing, and I didn't have time to wash the clothes or even unpacking the bag and putting clean clothes on it. And now I'm rambling, god this was not a good idea I'm so sorry.”

“You need to calm down right now okay, go take a shower and I'll prepare the food and then you'll have time to think about what you're going to wear but first go take a shower and relax, it's obvious that you need it.” Emily said

You didn't know why you followed Emily's orders but you knew you needed to relax and having her in your house knowing that you wouldn't have to worry about food calmed you down a little.

When you were taking a bath you heard the bell ring, it seemed strange to you because they wouldn't arrive until 07:30pm to start dinner. So you yelled at Emily from your bathroom. “Emily Please tell me that I lost sense of time and that everyone is not here”. You finished saying and Emily from the door answers you. “It's just jj that I called her to help me a little with the food, I hope you don't mind.”

“Don't worry em, she doesn't bother me at all.” You said, grateful that your friends are here to help you not lose your mind in the process.

When you finish bathing you hear a sound at the door and jj speaks. “I left you a surprise in your room, take it as an early birthday gift”. She said JJ with a smile you didn't see her but you knew she had her right now, she didn't give you time to respond since she left when you were going to respond.

You left your bathroom and entered your room to find a prefect black dress lying on your bed for tonight's theme, JJ really solved all your clothing problems that you had today, she saved your life.

When you were finishing putting on your makeup, the only thing missing was your hair, you heard your doorbell once again, knowing that it was time for your guests to come. Emily yelled from the kitchen, "I'll open it," knowing that you weren't done yet.

When you heard her voices you did your best to finish and go out to greet everyone.

When you finished you looked in the mirror and felt like the sexiest woman in the world. You would never stop thanking JJ for this beautiful dress. It fit your curves so well and gave you such a big butt. It just looked perfect on you.

You left the room and everyone greeted you.

“There is our hostess”. She said Penny with a smile on her face as she came over to give you a hug.

#You look so beautiful in that dress babygirl”. Derek said greeting you and complimenting you at the same time.

Emily and JJ high-fived each other when they saw you in that dress and you knew they were onto something.

You greeted the rest and noticed that since you entered the room Spencer had not taken his eyes off you, you felt so flattered and so nervous, since your crush on a certain doctor could never completely go away even if you could.

You were in love with Reid for about 3 years, it all started as friendship but from one day to the next you began to see him with different eyes. He is so sweet with you, so attentive that you realized that it wasn't like that with everyone on the team. But for fear of losing such a beautiful friendship that you had with him, you never confessed your love to him.

When it was Spencer's turn to greet you, you noticed he was tense as if he were nervous.

“Are you OK?” You whispered so quietly so the others wouldn't hear.

He simply answered you. “I'm fine, don't worry and thank you for the invitation”. He said with a smile on his face as he finished the last sentence.

Dinner went normally, they ate and drank the wine that Rossi brought, you also noticed stolen glances from Spencer throughout almost the entire dinner, you wouldn't lie if they told you that you did it too. Dessert time arrived and everyone was scattered around your living room and balcony, your apartment was not that big but you had a dream balcony, you had a view of Washington so beautiful that you would spend hours sitting there with a cup of coffee and a book, but now you were with emily talking about you don't even know why you weren't paying attention to her you were just watching spencer talk to morgan. Until they hit your shoulder  and you heard a giggle coming from your side.

“You're going to give him the evil eye if you keep looking him like that”. emily said amused. “I’m not looking at it, you know, it’s not just Spencer in this house right now,” you said, rolling your eyes at the brunette’s joke.  “And there you gave yourself away Y/N I never said Reid's name, and of course my suspicions ended up being true as always”. " Emily said with a smile from eye to ear. “I don't know what you're talking about”. you said, eating a spoonful of your ice cream and walking into your house, avoiding everything  Emily said.

After many talks, stories, jokes, it was time to clean and you came up with the joke of asking who would help you but it didn't turn out as you expected.

“Who will help me clean?” You didn't know why you said it but you knew it was the wine glasses speaking for you.

As soon as you finished saying the last word, everyone grabbed their things and gave you absurd excuses like “I have to go see Sergio,” Emily said and JJ followed up with the excuse saying that she also had to see if Sergio was okay, which made you It seemed strange. Morgan didn't hesitate to grab Penny's arm to take her home and see that she arrived safely, and then you saw Hotch and Rossi saying that tomorrow they had to wake up early, you didn't doubt Hotch since he takes Jack to school but Rossi didn't. I had no business tomorrow morning that you knew of.

And then you listened and noticed that the only one who hadn't left was Spencer. And then you heard Derek talking to spencer. “Won't you come lover boy?” Derek ask him, looking at him with a funny face. “I'll stay and help y/n clean and then I'll go home”. Spencer said, determined to fulfill his task of helping you clean.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Please let me know what you think of this so far in the comments. love you guys<3

Also let me know if this is bullshit or I should end it.

[justin-chapmanswers]

Was there a different way [like work flow and stuff like that] you guys wrote season 3 differently from season 2? If so will you continue that flow into season 2?

Also do you have any tips on how to mange an object show since you've worked on II for a long time?

[The voices you do in II are so funky and I mean this in the best way possible]

Thank you so much! My funky voices are incredibly grateful.

Near the end of the pre-Invitational season two, the process was generally that we'd talk out where we want to go next, have our big debates, and Brian and I would draft up an outline for the team. Then the writing would start and, as it was for almost every season two episodes before Invitational, the group would just jump into a Google Doc and we'd write, together, chronologically until we'd get burnt out. Some of us were thinking of the minutiae on-the-fly, some of us would draft up practice-scripts ahead of time to work off of. It was chaotic, but then we'd spend a long while reworking/rewriting scenes.

Starting with Invitational, things changed. Most notably, we started having one writer per episode instead of jumping into the chaos. Having four writers in at once didn't help, it just made things complicated. It was about learning to let go a bit and trust the rest of the team to do a good job. We'd still of course chat about the events well-ahead of time, but then the writer would be the one to outline and pitch that outline to the team before writing. And then in revisions, we'd give notes to the writer instead of individually taking cracks at scenes. That way, the whole episode became one person's singular artistic vision. By the end of Invitational, we also weren't doing the "have our big debates" part of the process, anymore. We still would push for ideas we're passionate about, but it's been a long while since we weren't agreeable and on the same page.

So then there's the question about season two. We've been generally sticking to the Invitational way of going about things with season two, except also with Brian and I being back on outlining, and it's been going really great! Before Invitational, the pre-writing and writing time used to be the longest parts of the episode process. And not because we were spending that whole time being productive. It was common that the pre-writing planning part of the episode would be a little intense so we'd often take breaks after the previous episode's completion (plus because it's nice to take time to clear our heads) as to not jump back into chaos. And then carving time for all of us to be in the space for hours at a time while balancing school/life was tough to schedule. That all to say, now, the writing process is efficient and super-not-chaotic (aka healthy!). Instead of a few months at that stage, we're there maybe like a month and a half, from early concept (aside from the stuff we've been thinking up for years already haha) to final draft. And that's all while we've been overlapping episodes that are each at different stages, with their own things to get done. I think what we've been cooking up is gonna be really special. <3

I've been rambling for a while so I'll (try to) keep this next part short. As for the question about managing projects, that's just a tricky one cause I'd normally tailor the advice depending on the scale of the project, the amount of experience for those going in, etc. But in a broad sense I'd say do everything you can to work specifically with the people who make you excited to work. Whose ideas inspire you. If you're leading, really try to understand every step of the process. Definitely trust parts of the pipeline to other people if it's not your cup of tea, but really understand what they do. Say thank you every chance you get. If you're having fun with your show, whether it be the goofiest or most-serious of all shows, the viewers will, too. Making each step of production an enjoyable experience is worth fighting for.

[agi-ppangx]

hi lovely 🫶🏽

are you going to make a part 3 of the pregnancy fic? like maybe the boys making sure that you were okay 24/7 and they're always making sure you have with you any food that you crave?

overall just being really chaotic and caring uncles :,)

please don't have to feel pressured to do it 💓

hii !! thank you for this idea ^^ i wont lie, i was kinda struggling and im not sure if this is what you wanted, but at the same time i had so much fun writing this haha hopefully youll like it, please let me know if you enjoyed<3

part one | part two

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

since you and minho told the boys about pregnancy, they haven't stopped talking about it on a daily basis. they called at least four times a day to ask if you were doing okay or if you needed anything. they even created a separate group chat to only talk about you and the baby, worrying over you 24/7. you appreciated their efforts, it was really cute when they pinged you at a random hour with a question "uncle no 5: @/mother🫡 have you eaten anything today????? we know you've been craving mcdonalds lately so we bought a few happy meals and we're on our way to your apartment !!! see you soon".

that's how you ended up in the current situation - on your couch, minho running some errands in the city, felix and jeongin on both your sides, and twelve happy meals in front of you. "how did this happen…?" you asked, dumbfounded. "i thought you said a few happy meals". you whispered the last part, trying to process all of it. "yeah, i mean, we didn't really know which combination you wanted so we chose, well, twelve," felix stated and jeongin added a quiet "ta-da", both of them smiling awkwardly. after a long moment of silence, you suddenly started sobbing, the hormones taking over. the boys looked at you, confused and scared at the same time - did they do something wrong? "yn, what's- what's going on? are you okay?" jeongin stuttered, not being sure whether to hug you or leave you alone. he made eye contact with felix, silently debating what to do and gesturing vividly over your crying figure. "no, it's just- i can't eat all of this and it makes me sad, because you bought it for me and-" you were starting to ramble and felix had to place his hands on your shoulders to ground you. you looked at him and started taking deep breaths with his help. after you stopped hyperventilating felix spoke softly. "yn, it's absolutely fine, we're not mad at all. just eat as much as you want and we'll take care of the leftovers." you nodded but the tears didn't stop. "i'm really sorry, i appreciate your efforts and i would love to eat all these happy meals but it's just too unhealthy for the baby and i don't want the food to harm it" you began again, the hormones making you feel guilty. "we get it, yn, it's totally okay, don't worry. and please stop crying, it breaks my heart," jeongin said and wiped your tears. you giggled at that a little, feeling a bit better. you took one happy meal and started eating fries. "is there anything else you were craving lately that's maybe healthier than mcdonalds?" felix asked suddenly and you took a moment to think about it. there was one thing, way better than fast food. "cherries, i was craving them for the past few days" you mumbled. "okay, cherries it is" felix stated and took his phone to send a message to the group chat.

"uncle no 5: guys

uncle no 5: you have a mission

uncle no 5: buy some cherries for @/mother🫡 and come to her and minho hyung's apartment

uncle no 5: also, we have around 11 happy meals to eat

uncle no 1: what the fuck do you mean by 11 happy meals ???

uncle no 5: come and find out ;) bUT DON'T FORGET THE CHERRIES"

after around an hour you heard banging at the door. you wanted to get up and open them, but jeongin was faster. you saw five men at your front door, each of them with a box full of freaking cherries. "hi yn! how are you feeling? are you okay? did- did you cry?" changbin bombarded you with tons of questions as soon as he placed his box on the coffee table in front of you. "i'm fine, don't worry, but- i thought you would bring maybe a kilogram of cherries and not five boxes…" you replied, looking at the fruit in you living room. "i mean, don't get me wrong, that's really thoughtful of you, but what i'm gonna do with all these cherries?" you muttered, getting up and examining the boxes. you noticed on the side of the box that one of those was eight kilograms, which meant… "where did you even get forty kilograms of cherries?" you exclaimed, astonished. you didn't know if you were happy because of the support or if you wanted to murder them for buying forty kilograms of cherries for one pregnant woman. they remained silent as they smiled awkwardly, caught off guard by your reaction. as you were standing in the middle of the apartment, you heard key jingling at the door and you saw minho enter the room a moment after. he stopped in his tracks as he noticed the chaos - twelve happy meals, five boxes full of cherries and seven men in his living room as well as his pregnant partner standing around the coffee table. "what the hell…?" he looked you in the eyes, dumbfounded. "anyone want to explain this to me?" minho continued, looking around the room and then taking a few careful steps in your direction. "yn was craving some food so we bought it for her…" jeongin started, unsure. minho examined the room once more and then he shifted his gaze at you. he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but then closed them and simply brushed it off with a wave of his hand. he made his way to the kitchen to take something to drink and in the meantime you gestured at the food and clapped your hands. "okay boys, let's eat!".

there you were, an hour later, munching on some cherries and all of the boys, including minho, sitting around you on the couch and the floor, finishing their happy meals. they placed all of the toys on a pile in the middle of the coffee table and suddenly hyunjin spoke. "hey, we can keep these for the baby. you know, when their older they can play with them, right?". minho jumped at his words, clearly not happy about his idea. "absolutely not, i'm not gonna let my daughter play with 12 plastic minions" he almost shouted and you gave him a warning look, but it was too late. "wait, what? you're having a daughter?" seungmin asked and shifted his shocked gaze to you. "um… surprise?" you revealed and saw the boys jump from joy, shouting and hugging each other. you peeked at minho, his face was almost as red as the cherries the boys brought and he was fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. when he sensed your gaze at him, he mumbled a faint "i'm sorry". in response you pecked his lips and smiled widely at him. "it's okay baby, that was actually a smooth way to reveal the gender. unplanned, but certainly smooth," you smirked and minho chuckled at that. you took his hand and watched the chaos together, feeling blessed to have such amazing people in your life.

[tales-of-wocdes]

I am OBBSESSED with your story, it's absolutely interesting! To be able to play as a troubled—and more than traumatized child is kinda fun and interesting to play with, added with the mystery of the MC's past and what it correlates to the last interlude. Not to mention, I picked my MC to have fox ears, with Harvard commenting I could be from a beastkin heritage or a kitsune... Is that foreshadowing I see?👀

Or maybe not, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, either way. I'm completely hooked! But that just leaves me a dreading question, but may be necessary. If someday in the future, you'd release the full game, will it be payable? Do you have to pay to play the full game?

The game is interesting story-wise, one I keep coming back to in days and hours on end. Checking it out for new updates or trying out other options in the game, the mechanics are also easy to get used to, although I would have some trouble getting out of, for example profiles that are long since I play on mobile, and the writing is honestly amazing! It's pretty neat, and humorous at times.

But, still. I hope you succeed in this game and make it out of the demo, and I wish you goodluck! This game is really interesting, and i'd be a shame to end it so quickly. I also love how you at times interact with us users, and answering our questions, and also giving us some sneak peaks! Or more information. Keeps us hook, and eager to wait for more of your stories🥰

Anyway, did I ramble on too much?😅

Thank you very much! I keep repeating it a lot, here in these answers and in the comments to the demon, but it is important to say. Hearing that people like my writing and story is quite motivating.

The beastkin/kitsune thing.... maybe.... ok yes, that is a thing I have planned. I don't have all the details locked but I imagine that MC finding out that they have kitsune heritage happens when it is needed to happen (obviously a choice).

Now time to get a little real about my process and plans. If you would rather not see behind the scenes, I will cut this off here. Because I learned how to do it :D Also long ramblings ahead.

In all honesty, I get ideas while writing. Then I implement those ideas and worry about all the consequences later... A strategy that bites me in the ass quite a bit :D But I like doing it. For example what I said about wings in the previous post. Or the twins and Lexia interlude was not all that planned. I just started writing.

Of course, some of it is planned but a lot of it only comes to me while actively writing. This is probably why my outlines suck :D Maybe I indulge my whims too much, but I do sometimes pull back. Like having multiple heritage features did not happen... Even if that was mainly due to the fact, I am not good enough at coding yet.... Besides the point. Well I have cut some stuff! Like a reaction to meeting Havard where you just sort of squint at him... had no idea where to go with that one.

Now onto a completed game. This is such a far thing into the future, have honestly not considered it much :D This game is planned to cover MC from this age to full adulthood (or young adult at least). That is a lot of time to cover, and as I have said, I refuse to rush. That is a lot of words to write, code, and then edit. It would make sense to make it something worth money.

Yet, the world is something I have had in my head for years and years. I started writing this because I like writing it. I published this demo, because I wanted to see what other people thought of this story. If they like it too. I answer people with such long ramblings because I like discussing this world. I feel like this is the key. I like doing and sharing this.

Right now I am in a situation where I can spend a lot of time on writing the silver protector, and for the past two or so months I have spend most of my free time on the story. That is a lot of hours. This is something that I feel I should say: there will be a time when my personal life does not allow me as much time to work on this. It will happen eventually, though I am uncertain when. That will mean that progress will slow down, even if I don't it to. Until then, I will keep writing because I like doing it.

Of course I have considered things like a patreon or a monthly subscription on kofi or... boosty, I think it is called. Yet I hesitate. Why? Because I am afraid of this becoming more like work rather than a fun enjoyable past time :D Nothing kills motivation than not liking what you do, and things you like can turn into things you don't like... I know this quite well.

Then there is the question of what would I offer those who would pay to support this project? I like giving sneak peeks here to everyone which is a thing people like doing on their patreons right? Progress updates? I don't do those as often but I do them once in a while. Yet, writing this story is a huge use of my time. There is no getting around that truth either. Can I justify it to myself? As long as I like doing it, I think I can.

If I do start a patreon or a monthly subscription thing, it will be for early access to the demo. Perhaps smaller updates instead of full chapters. Then later publish to everyone. See, I have thought about this, and clearly do not like pay walling the story content itself. It would be possible to offer extra content or cut off something like interludes to use as exclusive content, but I don't feel like doing that. All of that is good and fine, but I want to focus on the main story, and if I do interludes, it is because I feel they serve some purpose. Of course, having something like patreon would have a benefit of having a "test group" that would perhaps report bugs and typos to me. Maybe. This is all something to consider and eventually I will need to make a choice.

All right, enough rambling about me and how my brain works. Thank you for asking, and for liking the story so far. I wish you the best.

Don't worry about rambling. I believe the above, and how I tend to answer questions I get in general, shows I ramble a lot :D And I have called the demo, my ramblings too . But what can I say, I like discussing and interacting like this :D

[makutaservaela]

Timing Ramble

I was going to ramble about reproduction, complete with cute drawings of babies, but I started writing a little note about time, and then I got distracted. Let's tackle this first.

I think I speak for a lot of us when I say the timing in Bionicle is kinda annoying. This is generally the way I handle it:

(Sorry that my maths are probably garbage. Knowing me, I probably messed up one number and then threw off everything else. I tried to keep it simple.)

One of the biggest sticking points to me is that Kiina was described as "in her mid 30s", yet she was in the Core War, AND Gresh was considered too young to have been in the Core War, but old enough to have experienced it.

Bionicle characters process time differently than humans do, and/or their words for passing time aren't the same as ours. Canonically, Spherus Magnan days (and MU Days) last 36 hours split into morning-noon and noon-midnight. We don't know how long an "hour" or "year" are, though, as far as I know. We don't even know if a "year" refers to a full rotation around Solis Magna. It could refer to something else.

Cervatus lived for about 265,000 years before dying of natural causes. Let's say he lived longer than the average, and the average is 250,000 to clean the numbers.

However, the Great Beings also extended the lifespans of SMnans. Let's say they slowed down the adult span, so an SMnan is an adult for twice as long as a human is. At age 20, you would feel 19. 30 years later at age 50, you would feel 35.

Human lifespans average about 85ish- 3 of infant, 9 of child, 6 of adolescence, 50 of adulthood, and 15 of seniorhood.

One year for humans is 1.2% of our lifespans. Presuming a human gets that lifespan increase, they now live to 130-140ish, so now one year is .71% of their lifespan.

.71% of 250,000 is 1,775. They process/pass about 1,800 years as we pass 1, or in other words, when they say something took "1,000 years", imagine having done that thing for 5.5 months. The Island of Mata Nui was inhabited for about 5.5 months, which isn't too bad an idea given how low the technology they had and how little of the island they had tamed. There were supposed to be 1,000ish Matoran on Mata Nui, and in 5.5 months, 1,000ish people working that diligently could likely accomplish what we saw there.

The one downside to this is when things happen in month or single year increments. I don't think Farshtey, or whoever else picked these numbers, can really comprehend how long this time takes.

Generally, I read "one year" or "one month" increments the same way I read "one foot". We know there is a standard unit of measurement (Bio, Kio, and Mio), but we also know that, as Farshtey put it, "things don't translate properly" to chalk up why occasionally characters reference things out-of-universe, like foot/mile. I honestly loved how he was roleplaying as just some scribe translating and transcribing a story.

Anyway, for small ranges, I would compare them more to human experience (translated poorly) while for large ranges, I would take them literally. In other words, 100,000 years is 100,000 years (56 years to us), while 1 year is 1,775 years (1 year to us). This would mean the events of the book took place longer than the Matoran were on Mata Nui before the Toa, which given how quickly they changed the Toa's mask statues to match their Nuva masks, isn't actually that farfetched. Matoran move fast.

An Agori, if their child development was similar to ours, has the following aging:

1 year = 1,775

Infant until 5,325 years

Child until 21,300 years

Adolescent until 31,950 years

Adult until 209,450

Average Death by old age around 248,500, give or take a few ten thousand.

This means the Core War was about 56 years ago. Presuming Glatorian are expected to fight basically as soon as they can keep up with the other warriors, let's say they start combat equivalent to age 10. We'll put Kiina around 13 in the Core War, or (in story: 23,075), and around her mid 30s now (123,075). Farshtey's estimation was her being in her mid 30s, so this weird math I pulled out of my ass coincidentally works perfectly. Gresh was 6 or 7 (or in story: 12,425) and around late 20s to early 30s

Any time I mention "years" after this, presume I am running off of this math. I will use the human comparisons (ex. Gestation takes almost 1 year) when rambling, but in the actual fanfictions and/or comics, I may switch back and forth if I don't remember to exclusively stick to in-story timing (ex. A pregnant character describing their gestation as having taken almost 1,700 years) and in the same vein, if a character in the story said, "Makuta take 9,000 years to wean and Skakdi take 600 years". The reader would know (presuming a human weans at 1.5 years) "Makuta take three times as long as a human child to wean, and Skakdi take 1/3rd the time a human takes to wean".

At the current point of the story, the first generation of MUian Second-Gens have just reached young adulthood. Presuming this means they are in their early 20s, they are around 40,000 years old. Kiina is 163000, or in her 40s.

I started my Headcanon in 2009, and didn't actually read the Bara Magna stories until years later, and even then, literally only started caring about them this year. That's why the BMnans, save Malum, Sahmad, don't appear in my HC at all (those two appear prominently because I actually got their sets, so I had reason to care about them). This is also why I accidentally gave Chirox's daughter the same name as a Glatorian: Tarix, although given that the Glatorian's name is pronounced Tah-rix, and the Makuta is Tehr-ix, I might just retcon her name to change the spelling.

Terix sounds too close to "Teridax" though.

Also of important note, the MUians weren't really aging before, and in their new organic bodies, they started out physically younger. The MUians were set to a physical age of between 25-40 depending on how experienced the person had (therefore how much more of a developed brain they need).

TL;DR

In order to get a Bio-Character's comparative human age, divide the number by 1775, unless their age is over 40,000. If it's over 40,000, then subtract 40,000, cut that number in half, divide by 1775, then add 18.

[ladyazulina]

Coming Soon: ✨ My Birthday ✨

Hello.

Would you say we are friends? I guess that term is way too big, mutuals is what we use here, but what would it take for us to be friends, stranger? Would you like us to be?

I'm a weird gal. I'm planning for my birthday. Two years ago I decided to take that day into my own hands and do something nice about it for myself.

I'm part of that percentage of people who actually hate their birthdays but I can't, for the life of me, do like I couldn't care less for the day. Mind you, I also don't allow my loved ones to do the same. In fact, last month was my partner's birthday and He DoEsN't MiNd HiS bIrThDaY bullshit—I planned his whole day and filled him with gifts and gave him the best day ever because such a special day couldn't go unaddressed and he should feel it as special as it actually is. (I'm trying to do the same for friends I hold dear and close to my heart, but forgive me if it takes me some attempts, it's the hardest thing I have ever done.)

Usually, I spend my day bummed, all sad, and if I'm unfortunate enough, eating ice cream (the dessert that fuels my sadness due to past experiences).

Two years ago, it was too short of a planning time, but some online friends accepted my request and half made my day.

A year ago, I spent the day outside actually doing stuff I liked (even though I hate being outside and was awfully depressed).

I was attempting to do an advent calendar this year, but I underestimated how hard it is to fill up.

So, actually, just right now this occurred to me.

First off, this year was supposed to go absolutely different. I was planning to visit my partner and we would spend my birthday, the holidays, and our first anniversary together, but I need to get a VISA and that process hindered all wishes and expectations. So... plan B. (I can't be sadder about it, each passing day it's drilling on me and I want to attempt to break with that as well. But I'm also aware I can't do it alone, hence this long-letter request.)

I don't have the slightest idea what the next months have in store for me, but so far this is it:

The advent calendar would go through a whole month, ending on my birthday (November 20 to December 20).

I would like to do at least a small thing I can fit into my routine / schedule without much fuss, hopefully with someone's company.

Weekends are scheduled to be TTRPG days, I could play a bit alone or with someone, and I'm crafting a list to choose at random which game I will play on which day.

Some things I love are reading and writing, though I can't write in command. I adore world-building and creating characters and I can spend hours rambling (ask my partner). But also, I won't mind spending some hours just talking and meeting someone, socializing isn't my forte, but I still need to go out with it.

I want to save December 19 to receive all the well wishes people want to give me, whichever way, and receive all the gifts (if there are any) on December 20 while I'm busy starting the day reading those wishes.

I do not need gifts, I'm a simple girl, but I feel like I need people to actively seek me on the day, I dunno why. I guess receiving the wishes the day prior and reading on the day could help, so that's one. And the whole month prior to actually scheduling small moments with friends and family could help palliate the possible loneliness of the day, they would have already spent some time with me during the days I put apart precisely for that... I don't know, I believe it could make sense, but don't ask me.

Anyway, I think I used all my words already. If you have seen me someday or if you just recently did (here) and want to apart a small time with me, to talk, to meet, to hopefully be friends or get close, if you want to do me this favor and be a part of this, thank you so much 💙 We can talk and schedule, see what to do, or you can just send me wishes on December 19 and if you want I can answer you back and start going from there or something, or anything, or nothing. I have all my days empty.

Now I'm actually feeling stupid doing this, but I will post it anyway because for some reason it came to me and I never know what could come from this.

[fortunesfavours]

time travel in ten - sequential narrative collage piece done for my class, Artifact.

ramblings below the cut for those interested in the process/life update for friends who have noticed i've been gone

right lmao. i had two weeks to do this project and had a completely different idea that i just could not get myself to be excited about. emailed my prof in desperation, but it being like 10 pm meant that she was not about to respond. within 30 minutes, as it goes, i got struck with divine inspiration by whatever force of nature governs procrastination-induced genius, and i promptly spent the next 12 waking hours non-stop working on this.

my class, artifact, is a requirement for the foundation year at the college i attend. it centers around time-based media, ranging from the sequential illustration here to video later in the semester, and a bunch of other projects designed to get us thinking in 4d. artifact is the theme of the class - my peers are doing the same projects under a variety of different themes (tragically, haunting filled up too quickly and i missed out on enrollment in that one).

our first project was designing an artifact and doing a write-up of the story behind it. the girl to my left made beaded spiders members of a fictional cult carried. the guy across from me made an amulet of a long-dead god. you get the vibes. mine, which I still need to take professional photos of, is a pocketwatch that lets you time travel. cause, yknow. i'm me. it was gonna be about time travel.

i had originally intended to do a bunch of drawings of the watch's owner, building out her backstory and the world she lives in, and explaining why the watch exists,,,, then i couldn't bring myself to pick up the stylus. I just can't seem to find the energy for my usual digital art (sorry friends i miss yall i'm still here i swear).

here's the bit about my life so feel free to stop reading if you just care about the art 👍

I haven't drawn fanart or my ocs in months now, since last semester, and I miss it a whole bunch but right now that creative energy just. is not happening. i don't plan on abandoning it forever by any means, but p much everything i have is going towards school right now. sad as that is, i'm having so much fun, and i'm so proud of the technical improvements i've made. I've got so many things i want to create, mostly for my ocs. i still love crit role, but i've fallen of campaign three. i don't have the time, and the story hasn't been engaging me for a bit.

i've been really into dr who lately, and am eagerly waiting for the spare time to sit and watch all of candela obscura. i'm in a new dnd game. i've got friends! real life friends! irl friends who called me the wizard friend within a few hours of knowing me before i even opened my mouth about dnd lmao. i've discovered a new love of collage, and i've just declared my major in something unique to my school, a program called Studio for Interrelated Media. i'll be learning about illustration still through the extra electives i'll have room for, but i also get to explore printmaking in more depth, as well as event planning, installation, curation, and theatre work as well.

i miss being on here a whole bunch and want to be more active when i get more time. don't plan on abandoning this blog by any means. boston has been kind to me, and though i have had some Real Low Points, i've also been living the life i've hoped for since i was a kid. i'm good, really really good.

to my friends, ily, i miss you, and i hope you're well. can't wait to catch up on all yalls art and fic. sending all my love. <3

[hostilecityshowdown]

⭐️ for any fic you’re dying to give commentary on :3

◕_◕

this was actually a hard one; i have WIPs and scraps i desperately want to talk about, such as the lowkey undertaker biopic, 'taker kidnapping goldust backfiring, an entire scrapped segment from a diesel/'taker fic, or a horror story starring hunter for mango, but. giving commentary on unpublished fics is a little difficult without publishing the fic. instead... we'll review one of my favourite character pieces: waiting for tonight every day of the week (titled "DIAMOND NIGHT" in my internal documents)

let's start with the titles.

DIAMOND NIGHT, the working title, is directly pulled from VOWWOW's song of the same name. VOWWOW/BOW WOW is diesel's second favourite band, depeche mode being the first, and i really wanted to use this title at publication. the song itself just didn't fit this portion of diesel's life, and there are lyrics from it i do want to draw inspiration from elsewhere, namely:

バックミラーに ghost of you

声すら嗄れはてて かき消される high way

(roughly translated to "ghost of you in the rearview mirror/even my voice becomes hoarse, drowned out on the high way." lyrocs source)

instead, i used lyrics from DONCHA WANNA CUM/Hangar 15, which is off their album "III" and written by the beloved genki hitomi - as evidenced by the song being entirely in english and having a more western pop rock sound than when kyoji yamamoto was the lead vocalist. (side note: rei atsumi is underrated and he's never done a single bad thing with a keyboard.)

stay close tonight (click link, go to 26:36) was also nearly chosen for title inspiration, given that i had this concert on repeat for half the writing process. i could actually write an entire post about VOWWOW and diesel's love for them but we're not here for that!!!!

while this fic is included in the Heartbreak Hotel AU universe, it is exclusively canon to my diesel muse and has no intended bearing over mango's telling of their own story, and takes place many years prior to the events of the HHAU. this made writing this piece fun; i had the opportunity to increase the depth of my muse without extensively plotting with mango.

i like the idea of going scene by scene with a few cuts. the fic opens here:

The boat rocked underfoot as Dallas throttled up to full speed the moment they cleared the marina's last NO WAKE sign. Up in the bow seating, the Diamond Dolls shouted at him for the sudden acceleration, two of them sliding right out of their plush seats and onto the pink mahogany hull. The Grand Craft had been modified heavily from its original design, practically rebuilt, and outfitted in chrome, white, and baby doll pink to match the Cadillac. It screamed Diamond Dallas Page, right down to the way the stern bench seating was upholstered with genuine leather - Something Dallas upkept meticulously.

dallas coming in hot as usual. i grew up on boats and love writing about them, the water, and everything in between, and i had a difficult time focusing on the actual story when all i wanted to do was ramble about the setting. my uncle moved down to clearwater many years ago and has traveled all over the world, and i actually did "consult" with him regarding swanky, popular boat manufacturers in the '80s-90s down in florida. "consulting" being saying "hey, chris, what were the most bougie boats you'd see down there back when you were in miami?" followed by an answer that was probably three hours long. i love my uncle and his undiagnosed ADHD very much. we meet our protagonists:

Tan body glistening in the beautiful Florida sunset, the Diamond Studd lounged against that leather, head tossed back and limbs spread wide. Across from him on the mid-deck couch, Vinnie Vegas squinted through his sunglasses and internally mourned his wind tossed hairdo. […] Vegas had only bounced for Dallas for about three months before he was brought into the Diamond Exchange's fold, and these excursions were one of the many benefits. He kept feeling self conscious about the injury scars marring his leg, hyper-aware of his body at all times, trying to mimic Dallas and Studd's body languages; he hadn't spent a hell of a lot of time on beaches in Michigan, admittedly. Too busy on the assembly line or the basketball court.

i wanted to paint a picture of the outsiders that no one is used to seeing. the diamond studd, comfortable in his own body, relaxed contrasted against vinnie vegas, tense, self conscious, frustrated with inconsequential impacts on his appearance - irritated by the lack of control, enough so that he can hardly enjoy something he loves in theory and would love in practice if he could fret less. he's trying to mimick ease instead of trying to be at ease; mine and mango's diesel muse is also autistic, and i try to be mindful when writing scenes like this. i do not think this is funny or cute, and i want to express to the reader that diesel is negatively impacted by his neurodivergencies and physical disabilities, including his leg injury. to cap out this section, vinnie invents his own excuse for rarely hitting the beach: work. he loves the water, doesn't mind the cold, and his knees greatly benefit from swimming... but, having not medically transitioned before this point and standing out for being an absurdly tall beanpole (and clocked as some flavour of Gay™ by peers), he was rarely comfortable enough to go. again: something that improves his quality of life, barred from him.

Behind Studd, the luxury vessel's wake frothed like two great, white wings folded behind him. He would've looked like he was diving down from the heavens if he wasn't so relaxed, chest bouncing each time Dallas rode someone else's wake to make the girls scream. The wind caught his laughter and threw it to Vegas as it whipped by, and he tried to prop his forearms across his thighs and sit forward comfortably while squaring his shoulders. It was hard to lean back when traveling backwards at nearly forty miles an hour.

this is so self indulgent, man. my dedushka used to throttle up to full speed whenever he could, and i always imagined the white water wake as a pack of wolves chasing the boat, trying to play with it. i'd lean over the stern, right next to the engine, and let the high-pressure water beat the shit out of my hand, imagining that i was playing with the wolves as they leapt up from the wake, trying to catch up to the rotors. i was going to write something like this into diesel's internal narration, but he's too tense in this fic to let his imagination wander.

vegas is also ogling the studd's body, especially his (perisex, cis) chest. to him, this is the pinnacle of manhood. everything he wants to be, everything he's trying to be, and it deifies studd. studd's also sitting at the stern near the transom, whereas vegas is seated across from him with his back to the cockpit. they're both going in the same direction at the same speed, but vinnie's doing it in reverse. his path forward has more unknowns and more unseen obstacles, and he feels uncertain, ill-prepared, and nervous, but he is genuinely content to allow dallas to guide him onwards. he doesn't have to look over his shoulder to know dallas is navigating them safely through open water.

Plus, soreness was starting to creep across his chest, the adhesive tacking the silicone sheeting over his scarring starting to itch from sweat. He rubbed his hands together and dug his left thumb into his right palm, smoothing in circles through his gloves. He was still getting the hang of cutting the medical grade squares into sheets and applying them with what was basically bandaid glue, but it did the job: Kept the scarring down, kept the sun off. He just hoped his chest would look like his partners' by the end of this, he was starting to get twitchy about the muscle mass he lost during the first few months of healing. Four more months, and he'd have spent a year in Florida. Four more weeks, and he'd be back under the knife. It was giving him anxiety. Panic attacks. Just thinking about it was making him sick and it definitely wasn't from Dallas's careless handling of the banjo-style wheel, and he still had to fly back home tomorrow and see his mom and-

surprise! dallas funded his top surgery recently! TRANS RIGHTS!! i think this element speaks for itself and helps contextualise his mood, here, and it's followed up by some more dysphoria, and a direct confirmation that vinnie trusts dallas. even when his thoughts are beginning to race and anxiety starts manifesting physiologically, his faith in dallas never waivers, and he affirms that to himself as a self-calming technique.

"Hey." Vegas jumped. His eyes came back into focus on Studd's package, no surprise, but when Vegas lifted his eyes to his face, the Studd wasn't looking at him. He cupped a hand around his mouth and raised his voice. "Hey! Yo! Dallas!"

Vegas turned around to look at their captain as well, slapping the utility box behind him a few times for good measure. Dallas throttled down gently, flashed the now murderous Dolls a winning smile, and turned round to drape an arm over the back of his seat. His hair had mostly escaped from its pilfered scrunchy, definitely Tori's, and started framing his face in dirty blond corkscrews. That smile was worth a million bucks. "What's up, baby? Want the radio turned up? Not likin' the view?"

"No way, man," Studd snorted, voice lowering back to its regular volume. His slow drawl was surprisingly soft spoken, and he waved a hand to shoo away Dallas's concerns. "Get your lead foot off the gas, Diamond. I wanna enjoy the salt water spray, not get power washed. And yeah, why don't you turn it up? Gimme something that bumps."

"Anything for you, guy," Dallas saluted and cranked one of many knobs on his instrument panel. At the twangy sting of Slinky's opening notes, Studd met Vinnie's gaze and rolled his eyes.

"That Dallas, right, brother? I like Link Wray too, but that ain't bumping. You mind?" His many rings glittered like the sun on the sea as he wiggled the fingers of one hand at Vegas then motioned for him to get up. Vegas raised an eyebrow but still stood, taking a moment to steady himself before rounding the mid-deck seating and marching right up to the cockpit. Dallas had already vacated after dropping anchor, sitting between Lee Ann and Kimberly and trying to placate them before they decided to throw him overboard. It didn't look like it was working. Leaving Dallas to his small army of mutineers, Vegas cranked the station dial right to WCMQ-FM and looked back towards the stern as the first chorus of Sandunguera threatened to blow out the speakers. Studd dropping his neck back onto the plush headrest was the best indication Vegas got that his job was done.

*clutching my arm rests* i fucking love studd and dallas's dynamic i'm going to gnaw on sheet metal. /j i'm not even editing this part down, mainly because i think we all deserve to watch dallas be eaten alive. back on track, we come into focus on one of the studd's many assets. some narrative foreshadowing for vinnie's upcoming surgeries, more dysphoria, and an example of the ease with which razor identifies, disrupts, and attempts to alter vinnie's disordered thinking. my uncle used to operate a bar on long island in new york and would ask me to burn CDs for specific crowds. slinky and sandunguera were both requested by him on different CDs, and sandunguera was a hit amongst cuban americans. WCMQ-FM/Z 92.3 is a fort lauderdale/miami station run by the spanish broadcasting system. this is one of the ways i express the setting without bluntly writing it down. onwards:

"Vin! Baby! The bar's right behind you." His boss waved at him nonchalantly from the den of vipers. Yeah, good luck with that, pal.

"Not enough limes in the world to save you, boss," he mimed throwing a hand of cards at Dallas. To his credit, the blond threw his head back and laughed, his wife elbowing him in the ribs. All passengers aboard knew the Studd would start bartending when the time was right. Head shaking, Vegas sauntered back to his seat and ignored the sun glinting off Studd's teeth.

i love u vinnie vegas and diamond dallas. i love u kimberly. not much to say about this beyond the way dallas has created an environment where the studd is in a position of control regarding alcohol, where he'll never be offered a drink or obligated to witness other people drinking unless he initiates it. he's the house dealer here, not dallas, not kimmy, not the dolls, not vinnie. it helps him be responsible and self-moderate, and razor responds positively to situations where he has the opportunity to look out for other people. keeping alcohol consumption reasonable is a group effort, here, not something razor has to undertake alone.

"No seats left with the Dolls, Vegas?" He teased, oozing over the bench seats more, seemingly never running out of ways to increase his size. Vegas winced, crossed his legs, crossed them the other way, tried to fix his hair, put his feet flat back on the deck. Surgery was still on his mind and he shook his head, sitting back with a deep exhale. He had to reposition his arms when he ran his hands through his hair, the pull deep in his still-numb pecs uncomfortable more than painful. At least he was starting to regain sensation here and there, but it was the scars on his pelvis that seemed to have had their nerves permanently severed. The waistband of his garish board shorts chafed them but he hardly noticed.

"Fit my fat ass up there? No way. Poke somebody's eye out with my knees. Nah." The response was deflecting and, as the jazzy sounds of Las Van Van faded into the Cubano radio host's voice, Studd lifted his head and pierced Vegas with a stern stare. He felt like one of those preserved butterflies on display - Or maybe something a little less pretty, like a beetle, or without so much armour, like-

SURPRISE AGAIN! vinnie had top surgery AND a hysterectomy (as well as vaginectomy)! TRANS RIGHTS. vinnie has more than just gender dysphoria and also struggles with body dysmorphia, something that's excessively common amongst athletes. this applies not only to his injuries, but to his own perceived size, and the studd being so much broader than him is difficult for him to deal with occasionally, despite the height difference. he's dysmorphic about the fat content on his body, especially as it begins to redistribute now that he has access to HRT intended testosterone. even thinking of himself as a bug under scrutiny falls victim to compulsive heteronormativity and dysmorphia simultaneously, where a butterfly is too effeminate for comfort, yet a beetle is much too masculine to be achievable.

"White Diamond for your thoughts, chico?" That deep, smooth voice was suddenly beside Vegas, the storage unit behind him popped open. He was so caught up in his own thoughts he only belatedly processed his stablemate stand and cross the distance between them in one massive stride. His meaty, powerful thighs were right next to the Las Vegas transplant's face, and he wanted to take a bite of that sun kissed skin. […] most other boaters passing them with a wide berth. Probably didn't want to have to offer such a big group their blow, some real Southern hospitality.

Swaying with the waves like the ocean was his second home, Studd whipped up the cocktail in under a minute, straining it into one of the crystalline glasses Dallas stocked his mini bar with. Everything was dropped back into the cooler seemingly unceremoniously, the table folded back into the box, and the lid slammed shut. He was expertly juggling two cocktails in one hand and a cigar box of honeyed cherries in the other, dropping down beside Vinnie heavily.

studd initiating the alcohol consumption on his own terms, from the timing to the drinks mixed, and he mixes them himself, decides who gets what when, and when everything gets packed back up. as mentioned in another post, i don't project scott hall's real world alcoholism onto his fictional characters, but do embrace a narrative depicting substance dependency and the struggle against becoming addicted.

vinnie's dysmorphia continues at full speed, accompanied by the "i want to be him" thoughts' best friend: "i want him." i'm cutting out most of the intimate portions because they're self explanatory and the fic can speak for itself. this entire section depicts the amount of trust vinnie has in razor as well as the power dynamic between the two of them this early in their relationship, and i recommend reading the fic if you've come this far into the director's cut but have yet to do so.

also: wealthy boaters in florida avoiding the garish, bougie boat full of gruff men and attractive women because they don't want to share That much cocaine was, allegedly, an actual phenomena. fascinating.

[…] [The Diamond Studd] tasted like salt, expensive cigars, and hot vinyl[…]

hi slater i painstakingly created this flavour profile to appeal to you, specifically. if i could send you a tea that tastes like this i would [+a little gunpowder tea in the mix. BANG!]

He wanted to shove the Studd down and ride him to death, but that was usually what people thought of him. Sunglasses starting to slide down his nose, Vegas licked his lips, barely able to meet the brunette's eyes. His brown hair looked like a dark halo, and Vegas was acutely aware of how much of a mess his own hair had to look. It'd been a long time since he let his hair grow out this much and he was having trouble taming it, but, hey, he wouldn't mind if the Studd was fucking with it, although Vegas would prefer to be twisting his hair around his fist while he screwed him into the sand-

we return to desireville for a brief moment to bring you: vinnie's thoughts course correcting from the indoctrinated, heteronormative "you are girl and PiV/submissive intercourse is what you want" to "i'm Me and i want to dominate this man within an inch of his life."

as a disclaimer: people, whether they be intersex, cis, trans, what have you, are welcome and encouraged to want and pursue whatever kind of sex they want, including not having sex at all. my narrative does not imply that trans men who bottom are inherently subverting or invalidating their gender, nor being heteronormative. for vinnie, being dominant and topping a man, explicitly, are things that have been gatekept from him due to his AGAB, genitalia, and own body image and confidence issues.

Embarrassment suddenly caught up with Vinnie. He felt like he had heat stroke. The song on the radio was loud and quiet at the same time, the surf mocking him, just like the ladies and Dallas all laughing-

"Hey," the hand left his chin and slapped his cheek gently. […]

this, and the rest of this paragraph, depict the studd identifying and disrupting vinnie's anxiety. it was really important to me to depict a young diesel struggling with his OCD and dysmorphia, and the invasive, disordered thinking, and anxiety that come with it. the next section contains a depiction of internalised transphobia, which i will be discussing, as a warning.

"Uh," he stuttered, cleared his throat, tried to get the octave of his voice back down to where it should be. "Uhuh. Yeah. Look- […] -I'm nervous, okay? Mom and I are good, but people back home are going to recognise me, and they're going to remember me as the wannabe-transsexual beanpole who used her Rez card to strong arm the school district."

He hadn't even realised the pronoun slip until it was too late and he cringed, hoping none of the girls heard. The last thing he needed right now was another one of Dallas's Queens trying to be his life coach, and any of the Dolls present were liable to snitch. […] "I just- I don't feel like I'm playing with a full deck here, you know? The odds are stacked against me. And, whatever happens, I still gotta psych myself back up for the cut again. You know how scary that is, Ramon? Five surgeries in two years, if you include rebuilding my leg, and now they're going in and fucking it up even more-"

vinnie and his mother maintain a very close, positive relationship all throughout her life, and none of his career choices, identity, or presentation ever threaten that. he always sends money home, always takes care of her, and invites her to participate in his life whenever possible. the rest of his community in michigan, though... he isn't as comfortable with. he was always awkward and disconnected from other natives having not grown up in the culture, his ojibwe father having passed away young. he went to tennessee, kentucky, and germany for basketball and college, went into long haul trucking, and always explored the leather and gay communities outside of detroit, not wanting to risk making his mother's life harder. he was still entitled to certain rights and accommodations as someone holding tribal registry, including telling white lies to play on the boys' baskbetball teams due to the lack of girls' ones.

he's more concerned with one of the dolls overhearing than he is concerned about engaging in self deprication, however; dallas employs drag queens as cosmotologists, stylists, consultants, whatever need be, and they generally treat vinnie like he's their little pup in need of some training and guidance. he also hires trans and intersex people for various positions, and i have notes for writing in his club's intersex transfem bartender in the future >;3c

on a more serious note: vinnie has a healthy degree of respect and fear for major surgery, and is already planning to undergo yet another massive procedure while still recovering from his most recent ones. he's has extensive repairs on his injured leg with mixed outcomes, in part due to the initial emergency surgery being less than ideal. i've had numerous major surgeries myself, and have more in my future. each one is harder than the last, and most of them occuring within a span of only nine years. recovery feels like you've been shoved back to square one every. single. time, and you fight and claw and work your way back to something better... knowing, as soon as you do, your surgeon's going to ask you to schedule the next surgery.

vinnie is disabled. his leg injuries disable him, insufficient medical intervention disables him, ongoing treatment disable him. both of his legs experience chronic pain, inflammation, and recurrant injuries, and he's a massive, heavy, athletic man - it takes a toll. now, he's preparing to undergo mixed method phalloplasty, which will demand that grafts be taken from his thighs and mons pubis region. he isn't eligible for full MLD but doesn't want to undergo RFF nor methods grafting from the torso due to visible scarring and potential loss of hand dexterity. as a disabled person: it is scary, putting your body through major surgery that will further complicate your quality of life, potentially forever in the rare event a severe complication arises.

"Whoa, whoa, okay," the Studd cut him off […] Hand carefully avoiding the scars, he cupped his still impressive pec and massaged it tenderly. […] "You're a powerful, sexy, perfect man, you hear me? Anybody got a problem with you, you call me, Vegas. Tch. […] I'll Diamond Drop 'em. Drop 'em like the ugly, desperate, jealous little flies they are."

Unable to fight the laugh that seized him, Vegas squeezed the Studd's thigh and shook his head. "Who booked you a flight, handsome?"

welcome to gender affirmation city, baby!! he loves vinnie. so much he's going to detroit with him whether he knows it or not. horniness incoming:

Eyebrows shooting up, Studd stole Vinnie's drink in a clatter of gold and diamonds, polishing it off and swiping an ice cube to crunch into bits. His mouth was so hot it melted almost instantly. Vegas wanted his tongue to melt in the Studd's mouth like that and, post-op, his cock-

when the . when tbe gender affirming surgery... affirm ur gender. i'm again cutting some softcore porn below because it is self explanatory, and if you want to read vinnie's bisexual thoughts and dallas being jumped by women you'll have to click the link up top

"Daddy-o, baby, who else? You think he'd risk losin' you to the 313?" This was news to Vinnie. […] Studd didn't seem as interested, both his hands falling to Vinnie's tight waist, thumbs tracing the lines of the four pack he was slowly working on. "Besides, I never gamble with sentiment. You're all mine, Vegas."

nicknames for dallas include "dally" and "daddy-o/daddio" and i love that for him. "the 313" refers to detroit's area code when dialing a detroit phone number, and this turn of phrase is commonly used to refer to specific regions. this area code is actually a sister code to NYC's 212, LA's 213, and chicago's 312. at the time, almost all phones used rotary dialing, and the easiest codes to dial were reserved for regions with the highest telephone density in the US.

and possessiveness and intimacy, because they help vinnie feel less dysphoric and dysmorphic, razor flat out thinks he's hot, and he's extremely attached to his best friend and loathes the idea of him going at something so serious and intimidating alone. after some fumbling:

[The Studd] was sliding into him, pulling him, fitting their bodies together seamlessly. If anything, they fit even better now than before, and Vegas had no where to put his hands but in Studd's hair, the stubble on his jaw, the twin earring to Dallas's dangling from his ear. […] His breath was heavy in [Vinnie's] ear, voice a deafeningly quiet earthquake. "I gotta give you a sexier name before I show you off on hometown turf, boy."

vin's finally able to enjoy his body a little bit, to like the way it feels when another person touches him. post-op, he doesn't have to feel uncomfortable about his chest touching someone else's. post-op, he doesn't have to feel as uncomfortable and scared when his groin and genitals are interacted with, even if there's more work to be done. razor's someone he's been deeply intimate with pre-op, and is the only person thus far that he can compare pre- and post-op physicality with. this is hugely affirming for vinnie.

and my favourite thing about my razor muse overall: he named him diesel, and that's the name the gambler formerly known as vinnie vegas took for the rest of his life.

IT IS DONE. thank you my beloved friend for allowing me to take you on this wild ride into the inner workings of my mind

[k--havok]

Honestly in all my years of both writing and reading, I've finally come to some conclusions about myself that I've always known to kinda be true but, like, were also always shamed out of me.

More under the cut as its a lil' TMI and grossly personal (affectionate)

--

So I've always been a fan of romance, even when I vehemently said I was not because I did not see it as serious and "important" as other genres of books.

I know there are plenty of jokes about blorbos from our shows permanently altering our brain chemistry and causing brain damage but like. Honestly... yeah.

Like I've talked about before how when I was really young I loved Howl's Moving Castle and Beauty and the Beast. And at the end of BatB I was so upset the Beast turned into some boring white guy. And as a teenager, I grew up with Twilight and the rest of the explosion of paranormal fantasy.

And I loved Twilight. I started reading it when I was pretty young, I want to say 4th or 5th grade, and the series the longest books I've read at that age but it was also my introduction into reading romance so it had a lot of sway on me.

Not saying that Twilight is good or bad as that's not the point of my ramble. My point is that I think I can trace my love and enjoyment of "toxic romance tropes" to that series for better or worse.

I mean. Now as an adult I can accept "yeah maybe the mormon vampire book series gave me some kinks"

I like possessive romances. I love the I-Would-Destroy-The-World-For-You thought process. The I-Can't-Live-Without-You dynamic. I like at least a little jealousy. I find all of it pretty sexy.

I enjoy power-imbalances and playing with that dynamic. Or reading the dynamic. Whatever. I don't care about weird age gaps or anything like that either in my romance, especially since I pretty much only read fantasy or paranormal romances where weird age gaps can easily be waved away due to immortality or magic or whatever.

I do like the "bad boy" trope and a little bit of aggression in my romances.

It's all fantasy and fun and kink to me. Nothing really more or less.

I try my best to be as openly sex positive as possible on pretty much all my blogs due to the fact that I have been shamed my entire life with what I enjoy. And it's so strange seeing the shame in so many different flavors.

When I was a kid reading Twilight or whatever, I was asked if I should be reading it or told by other kids that their parents wouldn't let them read it as it was "dirty." Usually this brand of shame was from right-wing leaning sources, at the idea of it being inappropriate for a 13/14 year old to read Breaking Dawn because there's a fade-to-black sex scene and Edward breaks the fucking bed (lmaooo)

Now as an adult, it's so hard to navigate bookish spaces. It's either all gushing positivity or negativity. Where saying even one thing you don't like about a book is horrible and mean to the author who worked so hard or basically swinging right back to the weird right-wing world I grew up in where a fade-to-black sex scene is scandalous. Obviously not all spaces are like this. But they do exist and its hard to avoid.

I do like dipping into booktube at times, but its so fucking hard. It's either white bookcases with some lady ranting and raving giving every book she reads 5 stars for some reason or its hours-upon-hours long videos tearing books apart because there's kink or its a dark romance with some cringy-to-the-booktuber sex scenes.

(and again, obviously not every booktuber and yada yada yada but it is a trend)

I do think there's a large part of me, beyond all the procrastination and mental health issues and whatever that is a little fearful of publishing due to the fact that my books contain so much of my personal kink in them.

"Kink" isn't always like. Ropes and paddles and 50 shades of mediocrity. There's way more to it then that, especially in a fantasy world of my own creation where what I say goes.

Sure, I like BDSM and dom/sub dynamics plenty. I also like all of the things I've said above. I enjoy the weirdness of monsters and pathetic characters with way too much power and also enjoy the more "common" tropes of power-imbalances and badboys and possessive romances.

And I am honestly tired of hiding it in my writing or trying to bury it due to all the shame surrounding me.

Shame me or don't. I'm just going to continue to do what I want either way, and enjoy what I enjoy.

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

a sysmate who knows nothing about our writing's contents has commented on the writing process. Here are the highlights of the steps of how we write by someone with an outsider's prospective and also makes it very obvious why we have to be artists for big bangs

-20.) Some blue haired bint researches something for six hours and needs a week-long nap to process

1.) an ayri brainrots about trope subversion so hard it becomes a universe

2.) rambling notes

3.) there is now a second draft of the first three chapters. Probably by some yellow-haired bint, silver haired bint, or now, a ghost! nobody knows how this happened

4.) nobody even looks at this for several months

5.) someone externally reminds someone that is tangentially involved in this au and has caused ideas

6.) a bunch of chapter outlines have appeared. it is seven in the morning.

7.) everyone ever involved in creating this au has inexplicably died.

10.) some more notes are taken. some of these notes will spontaneously turn into chapter outlines

11.) everyone forgets this AU exists for several months (if not years) again

12.) someone gets brainrot and writes 6 chapters back to back without stopping

13.) fictives happen, probably!?

19.) a bunch of chapter outlines are spewed out because someone mentioned something about this au

20.) just a spaghetti of notes again because someone said something unrelated and brain connected it lightning fast with these characters out of nowhere

21.) screaming, I think, traditionally happens here

this is where they stopped and it's pretty accurate. note: story outlines and summaries are not mentioned because they never occur ayris have decided they are illegal because they can't follow them anyway. also "chapter outlines" means like some bits of happenings and dialogue are included in the most rambling manner possible that usually make up 1/3 of the chapter or perhaps become 3 chapters somehow when written and there's no inbetween step or first draft it's the second draft suddenly and also probably 6am again

[icarussys]

Not sure how to make a pinned post exactly but here it is! This will be edited indefinitely to fit current information.

Introductions!

Call me Icarus or Sys, use he/him pronouns 98% of the time, I am what I call a "nonbinary male", I am in my 20s, I have a lovely girlfriend whom I will be calling Bean or Beanie online ♡, and I am but a simple gay artist (I do not do commissions).

You can ask me anything, but it doesn't mean I will respond and I reserve the rights to ignore or even block you should it suit me.

If you want to filter out reblogs, search my artwork using the tag "Icarussys artwork", and search my writing using the tag "Icarussys rambles", you can filter by all my content with "Icarussys" (important you spell these right, with three 's').

I do not take commissions. I draw what I'm currently interested in, when I am able.

I do not consent to any reposting or usage of my artwork ESPECIALLY in monetary gain or AI.

I (we) are a DID system, meaning that I (we) have a disorder that causes our brain to split personalities into parts and these parts are different people, 9 times out of 10 these people are comfort characters from media. We have hundreds of people at this point but only about 20 are incredibly active, and sometimes we may end a post with the name of whomever is in control at the time of posting. If you care about who is most active, that would be Wilbur, Schlatt and Leon first and foremost, seconds will change every once in awhile, currently it is Lamb and Astarion.

This is our side-blog if you want to meet the people of Icarusys, go here: "Icarusys The Collective".

You can read more about DID here: Plurality Hub, More Than One, About Multiplicity, OSDD.

Artwork!

I do all my art with paper and pencil, hardly ever using an eraser. I then take a picture of my artwork with my phone and use editing to brighten and contrast the lines to be clearer and easier to work with. I upload the picture to IbisPaintX and begin the process of colouring, which is much like painting the way I do it. I do all my digital work with my phone and one of those pens that can interact with a screen via a rubber butt.

I'm still experimenting with every art piece to find my favourite style, and I do not often digitalize as it takes HOURS over multiple days.

I draw fandom content mostly as fandom content allows me to express my love for something, practice my art, and it doesn't require NEARLY as much thinking and planning as original characters do. That said, I do have a massive world building project I work on called Erisia (not based off the Deepwoken game, I have been working on this long before that was made), and this world is where all of my original work, characters, and ideas exist within one universe. Use the tag "Icarussys erisia" to filter that content specifically.

I LOVE TALKING HEADCANONS PLEASE ASK.

Current Fixations!

This is here to give you an indicator of what you could expect me to draw and post on my blog currently:

Minecraft, Hermitcraft, Cult of the Lamb, Erisia, Genshin Impact

Fandoms!

Whewwww boy this will be a ride, I never truly leave a fandom, I just hyperfixate stronger on a couple and it changes every few months.

PREFACE that I do not engage in any of the toxicity often observed in some of these fandom spaces, I am a multishipper, I am open-minded, and I do not waste my time arguing on the internet about characters and toxic artists, I am here to enjoy the media and the fanarts the community offers and the gays. Oh, also I don't watch anime anymore but still enjoy the characters.

SO THAT SAID HERE'S THE FANDOMS LIST:

Genshin Impact

Honkai Starrail

Markiplier (youtuber)

Jacksepticeye (youtuber)

Insym (youtuber)

Hermitcraft

Dsmp (mostly dead)

Cult of the Lamb

Naruto (dead)

My Hero Academiya (dead)

Tokyo Ghoul (dead)

Black Butler (dead)

Resident Evil

Arcane - League of Legends

Final Fantasy (I'll be honest I haven't played any yet but I own some games and I just love Cloude smh 😔 gay boy)

Baldur's Gate 3

Stardew Valley

Dark Souls

The Arcana (dead)

Legend of Zelda (breath of the wild mainly, mostly dead)

Elder Scrolls series (will never post)

Detroit: Become Human (mostly dead)

Warrior Cats (dead)

Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss (will never post)

The Witcher

Middle Earth - Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit

Scream movies / Ghostface

Hannibal

Sherlock

Good Omens

Our Flag Means Death (will never draw)

Lucifer - Netflix (will never draw)

Marvel

Southpark

Avatar the Last Airbender (will never post)

Star Trek (all series, but I'm watching in timeline order and I'm not done yet haha)

Disenchantment (dead)

Supernatural (dead)

Night Vale (dead)

Other Info.

I play Minecraft (modded), Sims 3 (modded), Project Zomboid (modded), Cult of the Lamb, Satisfactory, Medieval Dynasty, Clangen, Sunless Seas, Black Ops 2, Dave the Diver, GTAV, House Flipper, Long Dark, Ooblets, Resident Evil (2, 4, 6, 7, 8, none of them are remastered and I own like 9 more but don't play them rly), Shadows of Doubt, Slime Rancher, Terraria, Universim, Wobbledogs, Borderlands, Dredge, Subnautica, Age of Empires, Spore, Phasmophobia, Diablo 1 and 3, Niche, Don't Starve, Fallout 4 and Fallout New Vegas, The Forest, 7 Days 2 Die, PlateUp!, Red Dead Redemption, and ARK (not ascended, is modded).

My minecraft modpack I made myself is my pride and joy, it has 313 mods, 6 resource packs, and 5 shaders. Yes it is actually playable, I get 60 fps (my set limit) with a render distance of 15 or 16 (my comfort zone), but the pack only runs on a really good PC, I run a i7-8700k hyperthreaded 6-core 3.7GHz that's been overlocked and stable for years to 5.1GHz all cores.

I drink tea and coffee, obsessed with noodles it's my favourite. Fav colours is generally speaking blue and purple. My favourite thing to draw is hair.

I listen to hundreds of bands while I draw, current go-to songs are Ugly Story by PhemieC, Brittle Bones Nicky series by Rare Americans, anything by AJR, anything by Lovejoy, anything by BoyWithUke.

Huge fan of angst and my art will dabble in things like gore, sensitive themes, suggestive themes, hurt/comfort, I will put appropriate warnings on posts that require them.

If I do ship art of Hermits (hermitcraft) understand it is the characters of their minecraft skins that I have created in my head, and I do so with the knowledge of the Hermits consent to this kind of artwork, if I do do artwork of a Hermit ship and one of the creators has requested it not to be done PLEASE tell me, it is guaranteed that I am just unaware of that boundary they've set as I don't watch the hermit streams or use twitter.

[cathumanwarriors]

A Brief Introduction

Hello. A week ago I made a poll regarding whether or not to contain (this usage of the word is warranted) my human au to another blog, or keep them on my main blog. I got a staggering...1 vote. Not very conclusive, unfortunately. (Thank you to the person who voted ;_;)

But upon further thinking I realized two things: 1, that I can decide my own curated experience on tumblr, and have the power to make that a reality. And 2, that I'm using tumblr wrong. This is a haven for all sorts of weird and out there special interests. Creating a dedicated blog solely to the ramblings of an autistic person is what our internet brethren of the ye olde internet fought for.

So allow me to detail exactly what I would use this blog for, and what it's about.

Also: The blog's background is from 2018, back when DreamSelfy still existed. I used to spend hours making little human cats with different themes and even stories attached. My mindsetback then was that everyone was at a different "photo shoot" or "movie shoot" with different themes. It's a good indication I've been a little obsessed with humanization for a good while now.

What Does This Blog Entail?

This is a blog to detail and write down my thoughts about a project I've had for warrior cats since at least 2018. It focuses on reimagining the characters in a humanized setting as well as the story and plot beats. I am doing this to every character (and I mean *every* character) where I collect and organize information regarding them. You could see it as a huge data collection project, with the primary interest being research and analysis.

Another component is worldbuilding. My thought process usually starts with an end goal in mind, and I slowly piece together that idea or concept until the entire puzzle is revealed. Or, I start with a concept, and build and build that concept up as new information is presented to me.

What is the Goal of the AU?

First and foremost, it is to present an interesting story. Warriors is a series with so many good ideas, they're just not often executed well. A humanized setting appeals to me because there is so much real-world culture, traditions, and societies to build from. Another thing is that I see this AU as a chance to play a very advanced version of "dress up". I played with barbies as a child, was there when tek tek avatar was a thing, frequented online dress up games and things have only become more sophisticated since then. So a maturation of this is being given ultimate control over a setting, much like playing Legos or Minecraft, and "building" your world. That's the appeal of humanizing characters.

So, I could say my main goal is to "create a universe that was made by me and improve upon the already existing story."

How Realistic is this AU?

It's both realistic, and not. For one, people do not live to 140 in the real world and travel worldwide did not start in the 900s. At the same time, I'm not going to make up a culture for an existing group of people and I'm going to put the work in to make sure these different groups are treated with respect and dignity. Sure, Windstar can be from China living in England in the 900s, but she's going to have a valid, accurate name and I'm going to research the time period she lived in.

How do the Clans Work in this AU?

The Clans are essentially a minor religion. The idea is that their introduction into the world has massively shifted the trajectory of the future and how the world operates. For example, the introduction of the Clans also introduced different "pockets" of different groups and ethnicities, who often would stick to one Clan for practicality. If someone spoke French only and wanted to join a Clan, it would be most logical to join RiverClan, who have many French people who could communicate with that person. And there are so many French people in RiverClan because many descended from the Gaulish and Frankish peoples have ancestral connections to the Clans. I think this world would be more bilingual as a necessity for communication, with more knowing a second or third language for practicality.

I think over history the Clan's beliefs and practices would shift according to the cultures and regions they are descended from, such as RiverClan characters with Italian ancestry having Roman Catholic traditions ingrained in their pagan beliefs, such as belief that baptism by water is needed to prevent a baby's soul from fading into the earth and being lost, mixing these pagan and Catholic practices together. The Founders themselves are considered ancestral deities with many parallels to paganism such as Thunderstar and Shadowstar being the symbolic story of the Oak King (Thunder) and Holly King (Shadow).

Or originally there being common intermingling and marriage between Clans as a means of trade and alliances, but this being reduced to almost nothing after the black plague. Or the code not being the same as DotC or CotC but another thing mixing folklore with real events.

I could go on infinitely. There is a massive appeal to me of looking at the society of the times and seeing how this new religion/group of people shake up the status quo.

What will you NOT Include in this AU? Does the AU Talk About Adult Topics?

I consider this AU adult in that it does not shy away from mature topics such abuse, racism, genocide, violence and war. However, I'm not going to post explicit content like sexual content or content that glorifies violence. I do not like to focus on the suffering of characters, instead focusing on them in spite of suffering. If Hailstar, who was born to two former plantation slaves from the Caribbean is born in the middle of the Atlantic slave trade, I do not want to make his story a spectacle to be looked at. Instead, I would want to focus on him as a person, his strengths, his weaknesses, his hopes and dreams and all he's accomplished in spite of the racism he's inevitably experienced. Under his rule RiverClan changed their name from "Sect of the Sea" to the "Sect of Waters", for RiverClan would welcome all across the world who sailed the seas. That's a major achievement, and should be celebrated.

Each character has their own unique world with them as its center, and are much more than a figure in the background.

But things like "which TNP character has the biggest boobs" are not going to happen and the answer is Brambleclaw.

Do You Take Suggestions?

I do, and I encourage people to share their own experiences. It's it inevitable I'm going to get something in this wrong because I cannot be the embodiment of every culture known to man. So if I do get something wrong, feel free to let me know. If you have any questions or thoughts or ideas, feel free to let me know.

So to kick this off, here's a poll.

[tiredelirium]

D.19

I’ve had a lot of story ideas over the years. A lot are things that have probably been done before in some vein. There aren’t an awful lot of original base ideas left, and because of medias growth inspiration comes in a way that takes from sources already seen.

Not every idea is meant to be written the same way. Some stories are better told through a short story. Others through a comic where the images can convey more than a description neater. Others through animation that still image can’t replicate. Others as scripts where the dialogue is the most important factor.

My favourite idea I’ve had is a story of a woman and a robot. Both are displaced from their original worlds for very different reasons. Yet they find themselves working together to earn a living in a hostile world. The woman learns to face her past and let it go. The robot learns to look forward to their future and accept what they are. They face many trials and tribulations both alongside each other and separated. They help one another, hinder one another, and grow as people.

This was a story I was never sure what form to commit it to. When I was in university I used the story base for a book cover concept, alongside a handful of comic panels. But I think the story would be better told in either a book or a full animation rather than a comic. It’s not that a comic wouldn’t work for the base idea, it probably would work fine. It’s just not what I imagine it to be.

Another favourite idea for a story of mine is one based around the journey of three very different people with very different goals who become family in the process of helping each other. One is a young woman who seeks revenge for her parents, murdered before her eyes, by tapping into magic unexplored. One is a gentleman knight, who was excommunicated for their love of a prince, who now seeks repentance. One is a merchant turned pirate by circumstance, forced to do terrible things and then thrown from the seas, now seeking redemption for his past. A story of revenge, repentance and redemption.

Though lately I’ve been thinking about far leas fantastical story concepts. I’ve always been the type of person who gets bored of media that doesn’t have something Special going on in it. A soap opera? Boring. A space soap opera? Now that could be good! The latter has all the tactics and techniques of the former, but also there’s laser swords.

Maybe thats the little kid in me with the big imagination that just *needs* that extra kick of interesting to watch something. Or maybe reality is just too uninteresting that the idea of enjoying something baked in reality becomes itself less than.

I don’t know.

But. I have been thinking about those types of mundane stories lately. I wish I had more extroverted energy to pursue inspiration for such stories. As anything I could come up with wouldn’t have an inkling of personal experience to it. I think if I wrote a story from that point of view it wouldn’t be interesting.

Hell I don’t even know if these journals would be interesting. Since I don’t read them after I’m done writing, and haven’t went back to read them, I don’t know the score on that front. I imagine they aren’t, as they’re just rambled thoughts and personal opinions intermingled with parts of my own history and life.

Hopefully someone out there is reading and gets some kind of kick out of these. I’ll stop doing this journal on this account after I hit day 30 after all.

Oh, fun fact before I go. It was my birthday today, officially i’m 31 as of two hours ago. My family are all away on holiday except for myself, my mum who couldn’t travel even if she wanted to, and our dog who is very old herself. So no celebrations, which I do prefer being honest, no family visits with presents or cards, and no birthday cake.

It sounds sad I’m sure, but it doesn’t phase me.

I hate being the centre of attention, so having nobody around for a birthday I don’t really care about is relieving more than anything. Though I do wish there was someone who was special to me still around.

That’d be nice.

[mursduckproblems]

On Drake preening Fenton: this duck just discovered affection and wants to share it with all his friends. I loved the latest chapter btw.

RIGHT? We thought it would be super silly and cute! Apparently that’s a thing real ducks to too! Male ducks who are bonded will help preen each other’s feathers, which I thought was super cute. It’s called allopreening, and it’s amongst families and friends within a flock, not just romantic partners. (Also Fenton’s picking at his feathers all the time is over-preening, which is apparently a sign of stress or anxiety in ducks, and I felt like that was relatable to me as a person with trichotillomania.)

I just LOVED the idea of it being this like, super normal family/friendship pasttime (like doing a friend’s hair or nails) that Drake missed out on and just wants to give to ALL HIS FRIENDS now! (Donald and Beakley totally preen their entire households imo.)

Thank you so much anon! I gotta just shove my love of Fenton and Drake friendship EVERYWHERE, it’s a wonder @rai-is-crispy puts up with all of it. Thank you SO MUCH, I cannot stress enough how happy I am that you’re enjoying our story!!!

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 2)

Monday     Tuesday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: panic attacks, swearing, puking, concussions, mentions of injuries/bullying, homophobia

Word count: 5,138

After school, you were sitting on the couch as you furiously typed on your keyboard at an extremely fast pace. You were on a roll with these essays, they were probably going to be finished by the time you had to go back to the school to get on the bus with the team. You figured that you could even finish Annie’s essay and get started on Sammy’s US history presentation on the sociopolitical climate of the United States in the mid twentieth century to today. However, instead of covering a variety of topics like the rubric requested you to do, you were only going to talk about the significant events that happened to the LGBT+ community starting with Stonewall and going to Obergefell v. Hodges. You were also going to go in depth about how even if there are more opportunities available and more laws set in place to protect for LGBT+ people in the present then there were in past, members of the LGBT+ community still suffer heavy discrimination in the workplace and in the public. With receipts of course, the assignment required a minimum of three pictures per slide, and the group chat was a perfect source.

After that was done, you would email Sammy’s teacher (you had her last year for US history and you knew that she had a son in the grade below you currently transitioning from female to male) that you were the one that did her project and send screenshots of Sammy calling you slurs. Luckily for you, you had receipts of her being transphobic in the past that you could also send. Everything was effortlessly falling into place for you today. 

As you were typing, the front door swung open and two overly excited fifth graders ran into the house and up the stairs. A tired Schlatt followed them. “I will never know how the hell Phil keeps up with them.” 

“I dunno, maybe because he’s already raised three kids before.”

You watched as your uncle jumped and whipped his head over towards you, his hand clutching his chest. He lightly glared at you, “christ kid don’t do that, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

You smirked at him before turning back to your laptop to continue typing the essay. You were almost done with the conclusion paragraph on Annie’s essay and you wanted to get to Sammy’s presentation as fast as possible. As you were typing, you felt a warm air fan across your neck and your uncle’s voice right next to your ear, “whatcha typin?”

You lept off the couch and almost fell into the coffee table before steadying yourself and deadpanning at Schlatt. “I was typing an essay before you interrupted me.”

He snorted, “it looked like you were on a roll, just thought I’d see what my beloved niece was writing. Can I read it?” 

Your eyes lit up as an excited grin split your cheeks, “yeah, but lemme catch you up real quick. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie got mad at me a few days ago and wanted me to do some homework for them as a sort of payment. But after they pulled that little stunt in the lunchroom yesterday, they decided to be little bitches to me and call me slurs. So naturally, I decided to change the essay prompt into an in depth analysis about discrimination LGBT people face from their peers on the daily. My english teacher’s really against homophobia and the project’s worth twenty five percent of our overall grade, so it’s perfect.”

While you were rambling on and on about your detailed plot for revenge, Schlatt couldn’t help but be proud of the person you’d become. A major part of him was impressed that you came up with a detailed plan so quickly, that meant that his cunning nature was rubbing off on you and that made him ecstatic. Sure you mentioning not being straight was new to him, but he was prepared to accept you for whatever you identified as. He didn’t care how people identified, he just cared if they were good people. And his niece was one of the best kids he knew. He’d let your slip up slide for now until you felt comfortable enough to properly come out to him. 

“That an amazing plan, fuckin brilliant. Though, you could do more.”

That piqued your interest, “I’m listening.”

“Do you have any blackmail?”

Your eyes glinted with sudden understanding, “why yes I do, uncle dearest. I just so happen to have thousands of texts from them talking shit about each other and basically the entire school. And them being incredibly racist. They would be destroyed if that came out.” 

“Two things. One, never call me that again. Two, perfect. Keep it as leverage if they try to do something. You don’t pull out all the good cards in the first round, you wait for the right moment to strike so you can win. You need to constantly defend yourself against other players and anticipate their every move. If you leak everything right now, you won’t have anything to use against them if they have something up their sleeve you didn’t know about. Patience is key in things like this.”

You absorbed every single word that came out of his mouth like it was the holy gospel. Although he was your uncle and you loved him with all your heart, but he was a sly bastard when he wanted to be. He knew his way around fighting and manipulating people just right, so you were incredibly happy that you were on his good side and he absolutely adored you. Though questionable and morally gray, he was giving you advice because he cared about you and you’d be an idiot to not heed his advice. 

“That’s genius, Uncle Schlatt. What would I do without you?”

“You’d get along just fine without me, you would’ve gotten there eventually. You’re smart. I’m just givin you a little push in the right direction.”

“I honestly would’ve never thought about waiting, I was so dead set on getting revenge that I would’ve just leaked everything all at once. I want them to feel how I felt when they were around me. I-” you paused. Would this make you the same as them? You’d be screwing up all their grades, Adrian’s job, and Sammy’s athletic career. You came to the chilling realization that you’d be the same as them. You’d be as manipulative as they were. “...Uncle Schlatt, would that make me the same as them?”

“Fuck no! You’re always gonna be better than them no matter what. When they’re at their best, you’re always gonna be a whole lot better than them. They deserve what’s happening to them, it sounds like they put you through so much shit the past few years. I actually think you could do a whole lot worse to them if you’re willing to put more work in, but it’s your plan and if you think that what you’re doing is too much,” he darkly chuckled, “you wouldn’t like my idea.”

“You’re right, they deserve everything I have planned for them. God, I don’t know what I was thinking, ‘would that make me the same as them,’” you mocked what you said earlier, “what a load of shit. Anyways, thanks Uncle Schlatt. I’m gonna get back to writing this. They’re due tomorrow and I wanna finish as much as I can before I have to go.”

“Alright, whaddya want for dinner? Phil’s gonna be like thirty minutes late from work so I’m cookin tonight.”

Oh no. No, no, no, no. That man can barley cook boxed mac n cheese, let alone anything else. He’d burn down the house if you left him alone in the kitchen with the stove. “On second thought, why don’t I help you with dinner? We can make some chicken alfredo.”

“Awe, you’d rather hang out with me than finish your homework? Ya really do love me. C’mon let’s start.”

The process of making dinner was… interesting. Multiple times, Schlatt almost spilled boiling water on himself and he even managed to burn the pasta while it was in the water. How he even managed to do that you’d never find out, you had your back turned cutting up vegetables and herbs at the time. That was when you subtly started to take over in the kitchen, giving him smaller tasks while you handled everything else. You felt bad for Tubbo, his father can’t cook for shit. 

By time you finished, about an hour passed and Philza had come home and changed out of his work clothes. The two adults sat at the table discussing something that you didn’t pay attention to while your brothers and cousin were in the living room waiting for you to finish dinner. Finally, you set the table and it was time to eat. 

Because you couldn’t have many fatty foods before any matches or practices, you had made a separate plate for yourself that only had plain pasta, chicken, and broccoli. You were surprised with how well it turned out, you were following an iffy recipe you found on the first link Google brought up. 

After dinner, you went upstairs to put your uniform on and pack a little bag full of things you might need: a small blanket, some snacks, a water bottle, and a portable charger. Oh, and fuzzy socks and a pair of crocs. You could never go wrong with fuzzy socks and crocs. Feeling a vibration in your pocket, you pulled out your phone.

Hales : )

(Y/n), I’m omw to your house

Gonna give you a ride to the school

(Y/n)

Hales you don’t have to give me a ride, I can drive

Hales : )

Don’t care

Omw, be there in like 7 mins

You swiped out of yours and her conversation and opened up the family group chat

(Y/n)

I don’t need a ride to the school, Haley’s giving me one

She’s gonna give me a ride home too

Dadza

Alright, thank her for me

Tell her I said good luck too!

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

Dadza

(Y/n), do everything he wouldn’t do

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck you I’m a good influence

Dadza

You’re really not

Wilby

^^^^

Technology Sword

^

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck all of you 

You heard Haley’s car pull into the driveway and dashed out of your room with your bag. Just as you put your hand on the doorknob, a hand stopped you.

“Coat.”

You grumbled as you reached past Philza to grab your coat. After you slipped it on, you were pulled into a hug. “You’re gonna do great out there. I know you’re gonna win this, we’ll be watching in the stands.”

“Damn right she’s gonna do good, she’s my niece after all.”

Schlatt pulled you away from your father’s hug and tried to ruffle your hair before you swatted away his hand, “don’t. You have no idea how long it took me to get a perfect ponytail. I have an ungodly amount of hairspray and bobby pins in my hair right now.”

“Fine. You’re gonna kick their asses tonight.”

Tommy and Tubbo pushed past Schlatt and both tackled you into a hug making you stumble slightly back. 

“Kick their asses good (y/n)!” Tommy cheered, making you crack up before one stern glance from Philza completely stopped you. “Tommy, don’t say that. (Y/n), not funny.”

“Alright, Haley’s waiting for me. I gotta go, love you guys!” As you turned to walk through the door, you could hear your family following you and shouting “good luck”. You felt heat creep up on your cheeks as Haley rolled down her window and wove at your family with the biggest grin on her face. 

“Thank you! We’re gonna take home the gold for sure!”

You hopped in her car as she rolled up the window and chuckled. “I love your family, they’re always so full of energy. It’s refreshing to see compared to how boring my family is.”

You glanced at your entire family gathered on the front porch. Tommy and Tubbo were practically vibrating with excitement, Wilbur and Techno calmly smiled and wove at you, Philza was grinning widely at you as you saw his mouth forming words that you couldn’t hear or read, and Schlatt was grinning cheekily at you. You raised your hand to wave at them as they vanished from view when Haley pulled out of your driveway. You smiled softly, “I love em too.”

The car ride was relatively quick with the same soft indie pop music floating from the speakers and an easy going conversation with Haley about the match tonight. You both thought that you could beat the other team if everyone focused 100% and played exactly like you guys did in practices. If everyone did that, you would be unstoppable. 

Luckily for you and Haley, you were the first ones in line to board the bus so you two got the back seat with Zara and Jazzy sitting across from you guys. The hour long bus ride passed quickly and lively with you four passing around your phone and playing some mad libs, you were sure that by the end of the last game you four were laughing and crying. Sometime in the middle of the trip, you noticed that Haley would start to lean on your shoulder and continuously glance at you as she laughed. You desperately wanted to believe that it was because she liked you, but she was straight and she was your best friend. She was probably trying to make sure you were having a good time. 

When the team had gotten to the opposing school and left the locker room to stretch in the gym, you could hear your family start to scream your and Haley’s names from the front row next to you, Tommy and Tubbo being the loudest amongst them with Philza trying to get them to quiet down so you could focus. You felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at them and Haley wove enthusiastically back at them. Zara was laughing at you two. Stretching went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were on the court facing the opposing team. 

The first match was won by the opposing team by five points. The second match stretched on and on until it was won by your team narrowly by two points. The team was going to have to shape up in the third match if you guys wanted a chance at winning, the opposing team was good. Before the third match started, Coach Williams called for a time out so you guys could talk about strategy. Before Haley could go back onto the court, you pulled her aside.

“Hales, we need to do what we practiced. The other team won’t be expecting it at all, I’ve been setting you up this entire game. They’re never going to expect you setting me up for a spike.”

“When are we going to do it though? We need a better plan.”

“I’m sure the opportunity will come and both of us will recognize it. We just can’t do it too early in the game though, that’ll ruin their surprise.”

“(Y/n), I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“When do I not Hales? We gotta get gold this year.”

The third round went by with both teams constantly swapping places until you both were tied fifteen to fifteen. You saw the ball flying towards Haley, giving her the perfect opportunity to set you up for a spike.  “HALEY NOW!” 

You watched as her face hardened in determination as she pretended like she was going to spike it by jumping high in the air and stretching her arms back, making the opposing front row players all gather in front of her. Much to their surprise, she launched it towards you as you leaped up and went for the kill. The stinging of the ball hit by your wrist and the smack sound the ball made when it slammed onto the open gym floor was something you’d never forget as the crowd around you went wild over the unexpected play. You could hear the high pitched screaming of Tommy and Tubbo over everybody else. Glancing at them over your shoulder, you saw them jumping up and down on the gym floor and looking at you with awe filled eyes and gaping mouths. The rest of your family looked at you with similar expressions, their cheers echoing in your mind. Winking at them, you turned back to your team and went straight to Haley. Clapping a hand on her shoulder, you pulled her into a quick hug, yelling over the raving of the crowd. “HALEY WE NAILED THAT!” 

“HOLY SHIT I DID NOT THINK THAT WAS ACTUALLY GONNA WORK!”

“You have such little faith in your setter! You wound me Hales.”

“Well, I would have more faith in you if you weren’t chaotic on the court, sweetheart.”

You felt yourself surge in happiness at the nickname, but you couldn’t afford to focus too much on it. Your team only needed one more point to win best in the state and go to nationals. It would be the first time in your team’s history if you reached national level, and you’d be damned if you were the one to screw it up for them. 

The last rotation went on for a while, each team fighting tooth and nail for the state championship title with clashing determination. You tried your best to block every hit and try to set Haley up for a spike, and you were successful for the most part, only missing a few blocks. You saw the setter adjacent to you set the spiker up for a spike and jumped up in time to try to block it, your arms stretched upwards and your palms out. Only, the ball didn’t hit your hands. It collided painfully with your nose, ricocheted off your face with a thwack and sailed over to the other side of the court. Your head whipped back as your body followed suit and flew backwards onto the floor. Without giving you any time to react, your head bounced back and cracked against the polished hardwood floor of the gym. Everything went black. 

“...(y……”

“..(y/n)......”

“(Y/n).”

You faintly heard someone calling someone’s name over the continuous ringing noise. Was it your name? It felt right, so it had to be your name. You peeled your eyes open to see a blurry figure hovering over you. It was swirled with tans, browns, and backs. After a while of the figure repeating your name, it slowly became more recognizable, albeit appearing twice in your vision. It took you a while to figure out who this was before your muddled brain recognized Haley.

“Hales! There’s two o’ya. Twice as beautiful babe…” You slurred out as you attempted to smile at her.

“Oh thank god, PLEASE WE NEED A DOCTOR SHE HIT HER HEAD!” Her usually angelic voice gritted against your brain like sandpaper making you cringe as pain exploded in your head.

“God babe you’re so loud, why’s so bright? I-wha's goin on?” You blearily tried to move your head to look around only to be stopped by a pair of large hands on each side of your head gently holding it in place. You moved your laggy eyes around to look at the figure. He was a blonde man with blue eyes and a hint of stubble on his chin. His eyebrows were knitted together and he looked… he looked… your brain worked to figure out why he looked how he looked. Who was he?

“Please don’t move hun.” His muffled voice was baritone. You squinted at him trying to figure out who this man was.

“Who th f-fuck… why?”

“I’m your dad hun. Do-do you not recognize me?” You made a noise in the back of your throat as your stuffy brain finally put a name to the face.

“Dad- wha’s goin on? I’on feel so good…”

“Shh, I know, I know. Just stop moving and talking. Everything’s fine. I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Mmk… Dad, where are we? I’ont know- you’re so quiet.”

“Stop moving so much. You’re on the floor in a gym. You just won your team the state championship. Now stop talking please.”

Huh. So that’s why everybody seemed to appear from above you. You strained your eyes to look around you, but you could only see your dad’s face hovering above you. “Shit I- who’s aroun’ me? Where’s Hales?”

“I’m right here sweetheart. I got the doctor, Mr. Minecraft.”

Your dad’s face moved away from your vision so fast that it made your head spin and your stomach twist. Another face appeared above you that you once again didn’t recognize.

“I’m Doctor Martin, can you tell me your first and last name?”

“Uh, (y/n) Minecraft?”

“Good, what month are we in right now?”

“Nov-November?”

“Close, it’s late October. Can you tell me who this,” he pointed to your dad, “is?”

“S’my dad Phillip.”

“That’s your dad Philza.”

The questioning stopped as he suddenly shined a blinding light into your sensitive eyes. You hissed as you tried to move your head away from the offending light only to be held in place by your dad’s hands. Your head spun as you moved too quickly and a wave of nausea hit you, making you groan and move your arm to cover your eyes. Your hand was stopped by something warm and soft wrapping around it and holding it tightly. Everything was so overwhelmingly and painfully bright and loud. You wanted to make it stop. 

“Mr. Minecraft, your daughter appears to have a concussion. I don’t have the tools on hand to determine the severity of it, but it’s worrying that her pupils are asymmetrical, she’s delirious, and has slight memory loss. I understand you live about an hour away from here, and it’s alright for you to take her to a hospital closer to your house. Make sure you keep her alert.”

Your delirious mind only registered about half of what came out of the doctor’s mouth. You mumbled gibberish as you once again opened your eyes to look around. You were only briefly able to crane your neck to the left. Several figures large and small were standing behind your dad. Your family, your mind supplemented. Slowly, your mind was starting to recognize your surroundings even if there was currently double of everything and everything was blurry.

“I’m going to help you stand up. Do ya think you can do that?”

“Yeah Dad.” You lifted your upper body off from the ground with a gentle hand on your back helping you sit up. Fighting the wave of nausea that slapped you in the face, you reached up to rub at your eyes. A hand once again stopped you. You peeked your eyelids open and lightly glared at whomever stopped you. “Hales you’re lucky you’re so cute I woulda slapped you. I like holdin but you’re bein annoying. Stop.” You attempted to make your voice sound firm, but the words that came out of your mouth were slightly slurred.

She was silent as she helped her dad haul you to your feet. Once on your feet, you saw the room spin and felt yourself start to sway slightly. An arm wrapped itself around your shoulders and pulled you close to them so that your weight was supported. They were a little taller than you were making it easy to lean on them. 

“...Can you walk?” A deep, monotone voice rumbled the chest of the person you were leaning against. 

“Mhm. ‘M not weak.” Though your limbs felt like they were made of molasses, you placed one foot in front of the other slowly. The person moved alongside you, “you’re doing so good, keep going.” That sparked familiarity in you as you stopped in your tracks and tried to look up at the person you were leaning against making the person tighten their arm around your shoulders when you almost fell over.

“Tech?”

“Yeah, it’s Technoblade. Just focus on walking. You’re almost out of the gym.”

When you realized that you were out of the gym, you sighed in relief. It was so much quieter and darker. Though it was still relatively bright, it was better than the gym. 

“S’better.”

“When we get her to the car we can give her some sunglasses or something if it’s still too bright for her.”

“Wilbs-”

“Focus on walking.”

You huffed in irritation, “don’ tell me what to do bitch.”

You felt Techno’s body jolt slightly as he chuckled, making your head throb at the sudden movement. “Just walk.”

When you walked outside, you shivered as you felt the cool air nip at your exposed skin. Right, you were in your volleyball uniform. “I’ll go pull the car around, you guys stay with her.” 

You saw a tall brunet start to walk away from you. Uncle Splat? Uncle Schmat? Whatever his name was, you were sure he was your uncle. You tried to snuggle closer to Techno, craving warmth but never being satisfied. Where was your uncle? 

After a while, you saw a car moving towards you and blinding light pointed right at you making you cringe away and groan. Techno started to slowly walk towards the car. “C’mon (y/n), you’re almost there. When you’re in the car you can relax.”

“Tommy, Tubbo, and Techno, you’re in the back row. Schlatt can drive and Wil, you’re taking the passenger seat. I’ll stay with her in the middle row so she can have some room to lay down.” Tommy and Tubbo were with you? Why weren’t they talking, they usually were very vocal.

“Tom, Tubbs didja like the game?”

They didn’t say anything as they climbed into the car. Did they not hear you? 

“They’re just… tired (y/n).” Your dad’s voice reassured you as he took Techno’s place holding you up. 

“I wanna nap. ‘M so tired.”

“You can’t sleep yet. We gotta get you to a doctor first.”

“Mm. Makes sense.”

“Let’s get you in the car hun.”

As he helped you climb into the car, you felt an overwhelming wave of nausea wash over you making you lose your balance and almost faceplant into the cloth seats. You felt yourself being gently, yet urgently taken out of the car and led to grass as you felt your esophagus shorten. Something burning made its way up your throat and spewed into the grass. You felt someone rubbing your back as you puked up your dinner. 

When you were done, you reached up with a shaking hand to wipe your mouth. “You feelin better? Think you can get back into the car or do you need to sit down for a bit?”

“Car.”

After some difficulty, you were successfully in the middle row of the car laying down with your head on Philza’s lap. Soon enough, your shoes were taken off and a blanket was draped over you. 

“(Y/n), what do you remember?”

You scrunched up your face as you squinted at Philza’s face. “I remember playing volleyball with Hales. She’s so pretty, she’s straight though. I remember the other team hitting the ball, me jumping, then nothin. Wha’ happened?”

You watched as Philza winced, “well, you got everything right so far. You got hit in the face with the ball so you fell and hit your head on the floor. You were passed out for a minute before you woke up. It was a pretty nasty fall, we’re going to the hospital now. How’re ya feelin?”

“Head hurts, ‘m seein two of everything, an I can’t think.”

“Do you know what a concussion is?” You nodded in his lap slightly, “you probably have one.”

After a while of talking, you were slowly starting to come to your senses and your speech was clearing up, but your head was still too stuffy to think about what you were saying before you said it. You didn’t have a filter.

“Do you wanna tell us about your week so far? Do you remember most of it?”

“Mhm, it was shit. On Monday I had a panic attack and Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were being bitches to me all day. They fucked up my back. On Tuesday, they got mad at me for ditching them and they had me do their homework, had another panic attack, and Haley told me that someone took pictures of our boobs ‘n stuff and they were gonna leak it to the school if Haley didn’t stop hanging out with me. Haley and I almost kissed, but she’s straight. Pulled an all nighter and Wednesday I accidentally came out to Tech and Wil and had another panic attack. Annie, Adrian, and Sammy took more pictures of me through my window, Annie outed me to the entire school and slapped me. Another panic attack, skipped the last two classes and felt like shit the entire practice. Today Adrian and Sammy told me to kill myself and I had another panic attack. ’S about it.”

As you were going through your week, the hand that was previously gently stroking your hair had frozen as the car was enveloped in a tense silence. Luckily, Tommy and Tubbo were passed out in the back seat so they didn’t hear how bad your week was. Everyone awake knew that you had a few bad days this week, but they didn’t know the full extent of it. You watched as Philza’s expression had turned downright murderous, but you didn’t really care. You were busy talking about your week.

For the rest of the car ride, Philza asked you simple questions like what your favorite color was, your favorite animal, basically your favorite everything. Eventually, the car pulled into the hospital parking lot and Philza helped you get out of the car. “Schlatt, can you take the boys home so they can get some rest? I’ll stay with her.” 

“Yeah, I’m on it. Don’t cause too much trouble (y/n), we all know you can raise hell.” He watched you for a reaction, but when you didn’t react, he coughed. “Well, I’ll see ya later kid. Good luck.”

The car drove off leaving you and Philza at the front of the emergency room building. “It’s gonna be a long night (y/n).”

“I gotta finish Annie’s essay and Sammy’s presentation though.”

“No you don’t, I’ll email your teachers.”

You two checked in with the front desk before moving to sit on the uncomfortable chairs. It was going to be a long night. You were so tired.

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[lilblueorchid]

Thought process and easter egg on the Digimon Anniversary Illustration! 

Hello everyone, today I feel like explaining some stuff over my Digimon Illustration, mostly why I drew thing this way or point out some little details and easter eggs you might have missed. ;)

Click on read more if you want a LENGTHLY explanation with a lot of rambling from me, or if not you can just enjoy the process gif. <3 

The Digimon illustration was a special one for me for different reasons. Firstly, obviously, Digimon! It was a show I grew up with, and I find it quite fitting that after a tough year of graduation movie under a pandemic, in which I really experienced the pain of growing up, I ended up finding back Digimon. 

Secondly, as a child, I remember spending HOURS looking for fanarts online! I would save all the ones I found pretty and keep them preciously, i still have the folders actually haha. While pursuing art, I always had in mind thatI wanted one day to make a fanart my child self would have gone crazy over! And, i think I achieved that with that one haha. 

Anyway LET’S START! Shall we? 

First off : the illustration process

When I do an illustration I always do a quick draft first, and most of the time, in colors. I think I’m more of a “color” person than a “line” person, I tend to need to see colors quickly in order to see if it’s ok. 

For this one, I’ve always had in mind it would be a double illustration, with the older Tai’s silhouette acting as a frame for the children illustration. It was a bit tricky, I had to make the children illustration fit nicely into his silhouette, it was hassle around the neck area, that’s why I made little Taichi stand up haha. Also used Mimi’s hat to balance the picture : the bottom part is very heavy and there’s only sky in the upper part, adding the hat helps making it more balanced. 

The character were the longest and the most challenging part by far. As you can see I had 3 different steps : super rough, they’re almost like stickmen and smiley face, a more detailled one in which I figure out their actual pose and anatomy, then a last one in which I fix some proportion, add details and clean. Fun fact I don’t clean over a new layer... i just erase the unwanted part of my sketch. :’D

I did a quick pass over the BG after that, then I colored the characters in flat colors before rendering them. It was a back and forth between the BG and the characters to make sure everything was working together nicely. 

Now was the time to render the BG, I did the tramway first, the flower field after. Fun fact, I did my flower field study in order to know how to approach the flowers in this illustration! If your have the time, i totally recommend finding a photograph close to the kind of BG you wanna do, and make a study of it so you can try your hand at it first and go into your own BG later with an idea of how to approach this.

Adjust colors, add flower petals and butterflies and emotional text, slap over a paper texture, and THERE. You have it! On to the next part now...

The meaningful details and easter eggs

Be aware there will be spoilers for Digimon Adventure 01 (but I assume you already know it), but also for Digimon Adventure : Last evolution Kizuna, which is the conclusion of the first serie. So read at your own risk! 

The tramway is obviously a reference to the end of Digimon Adventure 01. The kids used it to go back to their world, so It was their goodbye to their Digimon at this moment. In Kizuna, Tai and Matt find the tramway trapped in crystal in Menoa’s fake memory world. Hinting that had they been caught by her, their memories would have brought them back here.

Tailmon has Kari’s whistle! At the end of Digimon Adventure 01, Kari gives it to her as a memento. 

When I drew Sora, I had in mind how she was in Kizuna, very stressed out by her mom’s expectation, which led her to neglect Piyomon. She realized it too late, and after that she refused to fight because she wanted to keep Piyomon with her as long as possible. Tragically, she was the first one to lose her Digimon. Here I tried to convey a softness and a kind of “I won’t forget to appreciate you” vibe in the way she holds Piyomon’s hand. As for Mimi and Palmon, in Digimon adventure 01 Palmon was very emotionally affected by Mimi’s departure, so, a hug was fitting. :’) 

The screens on the Tramway display DA for Digimon Adventure, and also 01.08.1999 which is the date of the children’s journey’s beginning. :) 

The little drawings also show the 8 crests. 

There are butterflies flying over the illustration, it’s a reference to Butter-fly, the first Digimon opening, by the late Koji Wada. 

"I'll become a happy butterfly, and ride on the glittering wind, I'll come and see you soon. “

Now, let’s the see the counterpart of the illustration. The one with the grown up Tai from Kizuna.

I made him wear the hoodie he had in his very last adventure with Agumon.... but truthfully the reason is that I think hoodies are cool lol. And the hood’s volume gave me more space in the silhouette, which made it easier for me to do the other illustration inside.

You don’t see it clearly, but he is holding his Digivice, albeit the darkened version once his partner bond with Agumon is broken. The Tai in this illustration has already lost Agumon. (Yes it was painful for me to go fetch the screenshots)

He is also holding his dear signature google he used to wear as a child. Fun fact, I rewatched the older movies, and as a kid he even used to sleep with it, how cute haha. 

Also yes, the crest of Courage over his hand, which is his own. I’m so dumb I realize I should have made the time counter from the movie instead of the crest for a maximum emotional hurt impact. 

And the quote is from one of the trailer for Kizuna, I think.....................

But then you go : Oh that illustration is so depressing then! Well. Yes. But no. but yes. But not really. 

One of my favorite shot of the movie is this one : this is after Tai and Agumon learn their time together is limited. Agumon asks him if they will have to go separate ways once Tai is all grown up. Tai doesn’t answer, and takes him to eat something instead, as Agumon was hungry. In this shot Agumon eats to his heart content next to Tai, who’s not eating at all and just watches him fondly. I love that the framing doesnt show agumon. It’s a foreshadowing of their unavoidable separation. 

At the very end of the movie, Tai write in his thesis about Human and Digimon’s relationship that Agumon was like a part of himself.

In a way, Agumon symbolizes childhood, the carefree days we would spend as a kid, with our big dreams and hopes. When you grow up, you tend to forget those simple emotions because you get swallowed into the stress of studies, figuring out your carreer, your life path. Just like us, Tai forgot this part of himself. In the madness of growing up, he lost Agumon. 

However, it’s not the end. He will pick himself back up. He will move forward in life despite his worries and incertainities, and he will find himself again. Therefore, he will find Agumon again. The kids in the illustration are waving goodbye, but it’s not goodbye, it’s a see you later.  In the meantime, Tai is holding on to these precious memories, until they meet again.