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curioussubjects · 4 years ago

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come be a season 12 truther with me; or what if dean and cas got together offscreen

Originally, I wrote this post to celebrate “Galaxy Brain” airing as Berens & Glynn gave us “The Future.” It’s been a while since that episode aired, and some things have changed about this meta. As such, there are multiple versions of this post floating around, so make sure to go back to the source for the most up to date version. For all intents and purposes, this post functions as a meta manifesto not unlike shipping manifestos from days of LJ past. In keeping with that tradition, this post is a close reading of Dabb Era Destiel in which I argue that by using narrative gaps, queer coding, and romance tropes, Dean and Cas are shown to be in an established relationship. Although beyond the scope of this post, it’s worth pointing out that keeping Destiel mostly off screen was a way for the creatives to bypass network censorship while still remaining true to the characters.

This post is divided into three sections. Section I focuses on giving an overview of why earlier seasons of Supernatural aren’t as compelling as season 12 as a turning point for Dean and Cas’s relationship. That said, special consideration is given to 09.06 “Heaven Can’t Wait” as a potential rest stop in our journey due to it’s significantly placed narrative gap as well as themes in the episode. However, this post isn’t going to examine season 9 trutherism in depth, though it does coexist with and allow for it. Section II analyses season 12 and proposes a timeline and justification for the shifting Destiel dynamic. Finally, Section III will offer an analysis of how Dean and Cas’s relationship has changed dramatically from previous seasons in a way that is most like the shift from a “will they or won’t they” pairing to an established one.

Before I move to Section I, I’d like to note something this post takes for granted: Dean and Cas are the main romantic subplot of Supernatural, and, in fact, their relationship is elevated to main plot for both characters in season 15. This post won’t argue about the canonicity of Dean and Cas’s feelings for each other, therefore, and so won’t spend time looking at many Destiel defining moments. I’d also like to make clear that this post also takes for granted that Destiel is being intentionally developed by the writers starting with Carver’s Era, and more so in Dabb’s.

I. Why Seasons 4 through 11 May Not be It

The tl;dr. here is that while there are many moments throughout these seasons that Dean and Cas could potentially get together, none of those moments are ideal for a bunch of reasons that can be summed up as really bad timing. I also think the narrative is actively pushing them towards a moment that works. We get plenty of stepping stones, especially once we hit seasons 8 through 11 (and 11 most of all).

Seasons 4 & 5:

I know there’s been a lot of get together fics over the years set in this time period, but I just don’t see it. Do I see them being intrigued and drawn to each other? Yes. Do I think either Cas or Dean would act on it? Nope. I’m not arguing anything re: Dean’s feelings, but with everything going at the time I find it hard to believe he’d pursue anything with his angel friend. Most importantly here, though, is that during this time Cas was still very alien and other. There was too much angel in him, and while he obviously came to care about Dean (and Sam) very much, I just can’t see him navigating the realm of human relationships. That said, seeing human!Cas in “The End” is the first we see of potential developments for how Cas could behave without his angelness interfering. Being human changes Cas a lot, beyond even his experience existing among humans, though that of course matters too. This development will be important later /wink.

Seasons 6 & 7:

Before anything else let me just recognize that if we could see some sexual tension in seasons 4 & 5, these two seasons come with our first taste of romantic tension. The pining! Also note the difference between season 4 Cas and season 6 Cas in terms of behaviour. He is much less the angel we saw in that barn in “Lazarus Rising.” In season 6, we have a Cas making misguided decisions guided entirely by his emotions – namely, not wanting to involve Dean with the war in heaven – which is peak human, honestly. Put a pin on how sad Dean is in both seasons with Cas’s absence. Finally, put a pin on this being our first moment of Cas doing things on his own to spare Dean and it not ending well (soulless!Sam, Cas “dying” after Leviathan) because this is *the* hurdle in their relationship (along with Dean’s lashing out and self-worth issues). With all this said, the marked distance between Dean and Cas in these seasons negates the possibility of them entering into any kind of relationship. Much like seasons 4 and 5, there’s too much going on.

Season 8:

Ah, yes, the summer of purgatory. If you thought we had pining before…! I think we’re all very clear on season 8 being a turning point for the show, not only because new showrunner, but we also get the bunker. TFW now has an HQ, which pretty soon becomes home. Yes, Baby will always be home, but the bunker becomes the *unmovable* safe haven that Baby couldn’t be. The bunker is a place to coalesce, and for all the amazing things Baby is, she is not that. The acquisition of the bunker marks a shift in the psychology of the show: with the stable home space we can start to imagine domesticity, a place to come home to, the stuff of ordinary living. Most of all, the bunker is emblematic of security, of safety –keep this in mind, as we go forward.

This season also continues to see Cas go down the path of independently solving his problems instead of asking for help from Sam and Dean (his family in a way heaven never was) – note that the better together issue is at play in different ways with Sam and Dean also, but I digress. I also want to point out disastrous instance #2 of Cas’s insistence on figuring it out on his own: he loses his grace, and the angels fall. As for Dean, season 8’s focus for him has much to do with Sam, and them coming face to face with their issues with codependency, which hit catastrophic levels with the gates of hell and Gadreel plots.

So despite all the deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much distance between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 plus slaughtering angels plus unleashing Leviathan. We do see Dean being more emotionally open with Cas and continue to voicing his wish that Cas would just stay with him and Sam, and let them help. It’s clear as day how much Dean cares. The timing is still bad, though.

Before moving on to next season, let’s take a moment to appreciate that this is the season Dean admits being kinda done with one night stands because “always with the adios.” Remember the bunker as a sign of stability? Yeah. I wouldn’t say Dean is craving a relationship, exactly, but I think we can see that he does want something more (ahem also I’m nodding to Cas refusing to stay put just cause).

Seasons 9 & 10:

The most important thing to happen between this two seasons is Cas’s stint as a human for an extended period of time. There’s been plenty of spec and meta written over the years about the effects of being human on Cas’s grace (a proto-soul now maybe?). What we can say for sure, regardless, is that Cas is much more humanized once he becomes an angel again. The understanding he gets from being human doesn’t go away once he regains his angel powers. You’ll notice that while we still see some of season 4’s characterization, Cas is not the same as he was – he is alien to angels now and is more intelligible to humans. Additionally, in an interesting reversal from previous seasons, we now get to see the depth of Cas’s feelings for Dean (thanks, Metatron) as well as seeing him be more open emotionally, while Dean does most of the pushing away (first because of Gadreel, then because of the Mark of Cain). In short, the timing is still bad as Dean and Cas are largely kept apart both physically and emotionally.

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait

This episode is my white whale, friends. While I’ve come to fully subscribe to the idea that something did happen between Dean and Cas during the fanfic gap, I don’t actually think it’s feasible that it marked the start of a relationship -- be it sexual or romantic. My reasoning here is quite simple: the timing is bad. Were it not for external events (Cas regaining his Grace and Dean taking on the MoC), the course would have likely differed. Furthermore, Dean’s guilt over making Cas leave the bunker as well as Cas’s own hurt and self-loathing pose a significant and as yet insurmountable obstacle, which is easily seen with how Dean and Cas’s character trajectories go separate ways.

YMMV on what exactly happened between them in that Motel, but something definitely did. Perhaps one day I’ll have a proper s9 trutherism post to link to here for more details (likely won’t be written by me, though).

10.16 Paint It Black

From the point Dean gets the MoC until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible due to distancing, to say the least. Again, yes, the fic is really good, but alas. One of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. One, it’s a rare bit of explicit emotional honesty from Dean, and two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the Thing™ between them, it’s still uncharted waters. It’s scary, and murky, and they’re unsure how to navigated it or if they should even try. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. […] Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. […] Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Can I just say, first, that this confession keeps me up at night because we never actually see anything done with it explicitly? I mean, obviously, I think we do in fact see the effects of this confession in the show, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this behemoth, but still, like. Damn. Ok, so, remember when I brought up that thing in season 7 about Dean being kinda done with hook-ups? Here’s where that led us. We’re seeing a Dean here who wants more than what he has convinced himself he gets to have. He wants more than dying bloody. And when he talks about wanting to experience people and feelings differently, well, that says a lot not just on the queer coding front or the romantic front. I mean, jfc, Dean is accepting the idea that he can have more in life than just hunt until he drops, and he’s specifically talking about experiences at the interpersonal level.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more and maybe he can make himself be open to that (!!!), which all culminates in season 11, so…

Season 11:

The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Lucifer (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems: Cas checks out with Lucifer because he thinks it’s the only way he can help, Dean is caught up in the turmoil of Amara, the emblem of absence and avoidance of struggle. We do get something like an affirmation from the two of them to each other via Dean calling Cas his brother (and I want y’all to consider the historical queering of that statement, and Cas’s “I could go with you.” It feels like we’re headed to them being on the same page. By the end of the season, though, it feels like we’re getting a clean slate: Mary is back, nobody died, no end-of-the-world in sight, no interpersonal crisis. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. We’re gearing up for something, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What this season does that is super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby

Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? That conversation between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development regarding the issues Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That’s awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we’re lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don’t … Ever want something more? DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

We wouldn’t be talking about this stuff all these years after Sam and Dean had a serious relationship if it wasn’t important, right? Also who else do we meet this season? That’s right! Eileen! And doesn’t that hit different with season 15 hindsight? And who does Dean have that understands the life? Whose stories have been intricately connected to his? Right now, this is all conjecture. A pipe dream Sam is revisiting, and Dean is skeptical about. Except, well. Look at what we get in “Into the Mystic” and “The Chitters.”

11.11 Into The Mystic

I’m bringing up this episode as a cross reference to “Paint It Black” as well as to complement the talk from “Baby,” and to show, again, that, for all the closeness between Dean and Cas, there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. There’s still truths they haven’t told each other. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin’…If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on the road, it’s when somebody’s pining for somebody else. […] Oh, don’t try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters

And here we see some validation to Sam’s imagining of a possible future with someone else. We actually see hunters who not only are married, but they both make it out alive. Jesse and Cesar get their happy ending. They make the dream come true. And the reality of it important not just for Dean to see, but Sam too.

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too, that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now, having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in season 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point, in hindsight, after getting smacked by the domesticity of seasons 13 and 14.

II. Why Season 12

[Out of date section. Update coming soon when spoons. After significant debate, I’ve altered the definitive start of Dean and Cas’s friend-with-benefits-with-mutual-pining relationship to between 12.02 and 12.03. I briefly explained why here, and yes it’s a shitpost--still true tho.]

Finally, the promise land, y’all. Getting right to it: what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. That is, until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker and with the exception of seasons 13 and 14, it’s one of the first times we get to see how Cas might actually fit into the bunker-as-home. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. What we also see this season is Cas trying to prove he is worthy of this family, his family. He’s not fighting for heaven or to right some grievous wrong (a la s8). No, this season he’s fighting to spare the Winchester, to bring them a win. To bring Dean a win. The major disconnect is that Dean (and Sam & Mary) already sees Cas that way, he doesn’t think Cas has anything to prove. And just maybe, Cas starts believing that too – or, at least, believing it enough.

12.10 Lily Sunders Has Some Regrets

This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it. Oh, and, of course, let’s not forget to point to Dean’s face when Cas says that “I love you,” and how terrified he is that Cas is dying. Might make one rethink some things, hm?

12.19 The Future

This episode is simply hella suspicious, and all the kudos to Berens and Glynn for writing it. It’ll haunt me forever. Consider watching it again and just questioning everything. So. Weird things:

1. Dean’s reaction to Cas no getting in touch as opposed to Sam’s. Dean is pissed, which is Dean-speak for worried out of his mind. Sam is very worried, too, and puzzled, but he’s mostly expressing his relief that Cas is back. But Cas has gone awol before, but this time Dean is much more worked up about it; Sam takes note of this, too. Now, let’s imagine that maybe the events of 12.12 led to something happening between Dean and Cas. Then Cas decided to leave to find a lead on Kelly, but eventually Cas decides to work with Heaven and goes radio silent. For days. Having taken a chance, and something having happened between them, how would Dean react to Cas just going poof and not contacting him – despite Dean having called Cas multiple times.

2. Cas knows about the Colt. Ok, nothing off there. But when he goes to Dean’s room to talk, right after Dean leaves we see Cas looking around briefly. Like he know Dean would keep it in there. Maybe Cas had looked other places already. Who knows. What we do know is that eventually he does find the Colt not only in Dean’s room, but under Dean’s pillow. Sam didn’t even know the Colt wasn’t in the safe. So how did Cas know?

3.“He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But can you see Cas actually doing that if they hadn’t gone there previously? For Dean not to suspect anything and go with it? There’s plenty of plausible deniability here, but the gaps in time in the narrative make me question what is there in those spaces. The scene where Cas tried to give Dean the mixtape back doesn’t read like “playing,” so it’s about a different interaction. Hm. Hmmm.

4. Dean and Cas’s brief conversation in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together – because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth, but also ow.

5.And most importantly: When did Dean give Cas that mixtape??? How did that happen?

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him – Dean is clearly shook by it – Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) – Cas goes awol - Dean acts like he got ghosted by his new bf -?????- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow – "He went into my room and he played me."

What am I supposed to do with that, hm? Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But YMMV, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

III. Seasons 13 through 15 As Established Relationship

Regardless of what happened in season 12, exactly, I can’t shake the feeling that something did happen, and something did change. My reasoning here is actually really simple: in comparison to previous seasons, Dean and Cas’s dynamic shifts significantly come season 13. I know some folks have been disappointed with some of season 13 and then season 14 for having dialed back on the destiel side of things. And, hey, maybe there’s truth to that in terms of backstage stuff, but I also want to point out that...well, the dialing back isn’t quite dialing back is it? Let’s look at 13 a little more closely:

Season 13:

So I said the deancas dynamic changed, right? I also think that change caught us unaware because the pivotal turning point that would cue us in never happened on screen as well as being subsumed by Cas’s death and Jack’s birth. But if I ask you about deancas in season 13 what would come to mind? Grief arc? Brokebacknatural? How domestic Dean and Cas are? There’s just something easy about their relationship after Cas returns from the Empty. The tension we’d grown so familiar with over the years is gone. Actually, it feels like we skipped the getting together bit of their relationship and went straight to established relationship and parenting. Some of the most peak married deancas moments we see circulating? Season 13, (and 12.10). It’s a lot, and it’s different, and it’s amazing.

13.01-13.05

Dean’s grief mini-arc. He was acting like a widower. Here’s me vaguely gesturing towards the mapping of Jonh, Mary, Dean, and Sam onto Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack. And the reunion? I can’t help but be giddy at the song choice: “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.06 Tombstone & 13.16 Scoobynatural

I’m not going at length about these episodes, I just want to point out that they reveal that Dean and Cas have a whole thing going on off screen: they watch movies together, Cas knows about Dean being an angry sleeper, Cas seems to have been aware of the Dean-cave before Sam was. It’s little things like this that are examples of the narrative gaps surrounding Dean and Cas that have cropped up over the years. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what else could be hiding there. And when did the movie nights alluded in “Tombstone” happen? Maybe in season 12 when Cas in hanging around the bunker? The same period when Dean and Cas seem to be coalescing into something safer and more stable? Something that we never see come to a head because plot happens and Cas dies? Something that is immediately taken back up once Cas is alive again?

Season 14:

Overall, this season is more of what we got during 13, but it had two high notes I wanted to single out before ending this already too long post.

14.15 Peace of Mind

Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t couple-y as hell.

14.18-14.20

Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established, and unaddressed, rift between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here: he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? What if Cas died again? And why should Cas put up with Dean’s behavior without knowing the cause? How can any relationship work this way? But notice how caught in the middle Sam was during all this. Notice how Jack is running off and acting out. The whole family is falling apart. Divorce arc, indeed.

Season 15:

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will-they-or-won’t-they because they already have. We’re are watching a getting back together plot! The tension is, instead, will-they-or -won’t-they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. That’s the crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned twelve fucking episodes -- y’all, that’s half a season.

And technically? We’re not even done with yet because Cas never let Dean finish his prayer/confession in purgatory. What’s more, Cas hasn’t grappled with his role in the breakdown of their relationship, either: that he keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. We’re waiting to see what else Dean had to say, and what will happen when Cas’s deal with the Empty comes to light.

Finally, could we still have this plot without Dean and Cas having gotten together off screen? Sure, but I think the stakes are higher if they already did have something between them. If they actually have an established romantic relationship going on. Something real and tangible and as of yet much too fragile.

"...you asked what about all this is real. We are."

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #spn #spn meta #this thing is gargantuan yikes #anyway enjoy? let's chat #my writing #this thing is half meta half my adhd unleashed

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ravenforce · 4 years ago

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Stark Legacy 4

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Carol Danvers x Wanda Maximoff x Maria Hill x Reader but Maria Hill x Reader centric for this chapter.

Summary: Four times Maria Hill finds the reader super cute but tells herself three girlfriends enough, and the one time she doesn’t hold back.

Word Count: 4884

A/N: Well, I didn’t plan for this to go almost 5k but here we are. And this is my first time writing, Maria Hill x Reader, so have mercy on me. I hope I gave it justice, and that you guys have fun reading this one as much as I had fun writing it. Let me know what you guys think. xx

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 6

***

Happy startled from where he was lounging in the living room when he heard several footsteps coming from the hallway. He was already aiming his gun at the door when Carol walked in along with Nat, Maria, and Wanda. They looked unfazed in the face of a loaded gun.

“Hey, ladies?” It sounded more like a question than a greeting. He unloaded his gun, put it back down the centre table before walking to the bar where the girls sat. Nat was behind the counter already pouring drinks for Carol and Wanda. Maria, on the other hand, walked directly to the balcony to make a phone call to cancel the crew she called for awhile ago.

The room is tensed, Happy can sense it. Before he could question what’s wrong, Maria walked back in, and asked, “Did you know that Stark’s built a new iron suit?”

Ah! Now Happy understood what the tense silence meant. “Is she even gonna tell us?” Carol asked after turning her stool around to face him.

“Well -”

Wanda gasped before he can even say anything else. “What do you mean she’s just out testing her suit?” Happy looked at her with a straight face. He never got used to the young witch being on his head.

“Do you mean the suit’s not finished yet?” Nat looked like she’s trying to decide whether she’s uncomfortable, worried, or pissed. “Did you know what she did?”

Before Happy could answer though, the sound of your metal boots landing on the balcony made everyone turn towards you.

“Stop terrorizing the poor man, Tasha.” You walked slowly inside the penthouse, your suit retreating back inside your body. It was a design Tony planned for the next Iron suit that he never got to incorporate. You walked back to the couch and sat facing everyone at the bar.

“Did Fury know about this?” Maria asked as politely as she could while asserting her power as Deputy Director.

“No.” You answered simply. Before she can pose any question, you continued. “I’m not S.H.I.E.L.D, nor an Avenger. I don’t need to ask permission to anyone to do anything.”

Carol and Maria frowned a little with your blatant disregard of authority. Wanda kept quiet, knowing that you are right. They don’t have dominion over you. Still, behind the counter, Nat tried to hide her chuckle but knew she failed when everyone turned their attention to her. At that point, instead of reigning in her reaction, she started giggling uncontrollably. Carol looked at her like she just grew another head.

Maria having a slight idea as to why Nat is laughing, ignored her and turned back towards you. “May I speak to you in private?” she asked. You’re starting to like how badass Deputy Director Hill is well-mannered. You smiled before standing up and following her in your brand new study.

Nat watched you walk away with Maria. She has a feeling you will live up to the Stark attitude. Instead of getting a little pissed, she’s secretly happy to have Stark energy back in their lives. Sure, it was a little rough getting Tony to work along with everyone else but they made it, and she misses him every day since.

Happy sidled up to the smiling black widow, watching you and Maria speak inside the study with your door wide open. “It’s just like old times,” she whispered.

Happy chuckled, remembering how hard it was for Tony to even sign a contract with S.H.I.E.L.D at first, and how allergic he was to asking permission and being told what to do. “Yeah, just like old times.”

***

It wasn’t like old times. Maria learned that when she found you sitting on one of the benches outside HQ with a cup of coffee from Starbucks, and reading a paperback an hour earlier than you were expected. To say that she was surprised was an understatement. She expected you to be late for the meeting, the same way Tony was when they were trying to get him to sign his contract with S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers.

You looked up at her and immediately greeted her with a warm smile. “Good morning, Deputy Director.”

She eyed you curiously. “Good morning, you’re early.”

You smiled in a way that the artificial skin around your eyes crinkled adorably, and Maria is mesmerized. “Well -” you reached for the tumbler and handed it to her. She took it gratefully. “I never liked being late.”

It’s interesting to know that no matter how alike you and Tony are, there are still things that set you two apart. Maria is quite intrigued to find out what else makes you different. Maria gave you a small smile. “Shall we go inside?”

You meticulously put a bookmark on the page you were reading (because only demons use dog ears as a bookmark) before putting it inside your backpack.

“Lead the way, ma’am,” you said cheekily. Maria’s heart skipped a beat at that.

***

Maria mentally prepared for a long meeting with you and Fury but to yet another surprise, the meeting only lasted for an hour. After explaining your suit, Fury wasted no time in whipping out a contract that will sign you as a training agent with S.H.I.E.L.D for the moment. In the past, Tony made a huge fuss about being put in the lowest rank, they both expected you to do the same but no. You just asked Fury to hand the contract over so you can go through it. With your newly installed AI, you were able to scan the contract and understand it’s content within 2 minutes.

You procured a pen out of the pocket of your trouser and signed expertly on the side of each piece of paper. Fury was surprised but of course, none of it can be seen across his always impassive face. You slid him the side contract, and he caught it expertly.

“Very well -” He neatly put the contract inside a folder with your name labelled in front. “ - Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D, Agent Stark.”

You grinned at the title. Maria bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling as well. Something about you is infectious it seems. “Thank you, Director.”

“Don’t give Agent Hill too much trouble,” Fury said before exiting the conference room.

“No promises, Director.” You said looking at Maria from across the table.

She rolled her eyes at you playfully. “I’m surprised you agreed to the contract easily.”

You laughed heartily, causing butterflies to erupt on Maria’s stomach, then a somber expression took over your face. You looked at the pen in your hand, you turned it over to look at your brother’s name carved on it. “Growing up, Tony and I were inseparable. Even with a few years ahead of me, everyone still manages to think we were twins because we like the same things, think almost the same way.”

You smiled remembering your childhood with Tony but it didn’t reach your eyes. “I know Tony’s a bit of work, and a pain in the ass when it comes to following orders but no matter how alike we were -” You looked up at Maria before continuing. “I’m not my brother, I’m not Tony.”

“I’m sorry -” She felt bad for comparing, she started to apologize but you cut her off.

“It’s okay. It’s a common mistake.”

You said it without resentment, just a fact. Even in the past, you never felt resentment over being compared to him in almost all occasions. You think it’s an honor to be even considered Tony’s equal but with him forever gone, people are bound to keep comparing and you’re not gonna live your second life living in his shadow. It’s not something he would want you to do. So you will point it out until people learn the difference between the two of you.

Maria nodded. She realized in that raw moment that regardless of your ball-jointed shell, and inhumanly perfect skin, you are still fully human inside; and she resolved to treat you like one better.

***

One of the perks of signing the contract with S.H.I.E.L.D was that Fury didn’t revoke your privilege to stay at the Tower with Happy. In return though, you are to report daily at the headquarters and will be closely working under Agent Hill. You frankly didn’t mind, Maria has been very professional since the day she and Happy found you in Tony’s last secret lab. You know that she’s very smart, and damn good leader. It also helps to point out that she’s very easy in the eyes.

Yes, your soul may be housed in a robotic shell but you are still very much gay. Not that you think you have a chance with Deputy Director Hill, no. Happy has filled you in thoroughly about what you’ve missed, one of them being that the most badass women of the Avengers are actually dating Agent Hill.

Now, how on earth do you think you’d ever had a chance to board that ship? The answer is you do not. Had you been your normal human self, it wouldn’t be a problem but you are not your normal human self. And you loathe to admit it - even to yourself - but having a fully robotic body is giving you insecurities you never had before.

So you do the what a Stark would in an event that they can’t get what they want: compartmentalize. Box the heavy feelings and drop it at the bottom of the ocean. So, the next day, you were more than ready to meet Agent Hill (or her girlfriends) without feeling flustered.

“Good morning, Agent Stark.” Maria’s sudden greeting from the gym door startled you enough to cause you to punch a hole through the punching bag. Maria chuckled when she heard you curse under your breath.

You looked up at her as she casually walks inside the room, wearing her tight training gear. So much for not being ruffled by feelings, you thought to yourself. “Good morning, ma’am. I can pay for the bag,” you said sheepishly.

Maria stood a few feet away from you outside the mat. She turned around to put her gym bag down. “Don’t worry about it, we have so many of that in the stock room,” she answered before stepping away from her bag and bending down to start her stretching. She kept her back towards you, giving your full access to her tight ass, and you had to quickly avert your eyes to keep your system from overheating.

“Agent Stark, I detect a spike to your shell temperature,” Edward, your newly programmed AI, spoke through the gym speaker. You internally pleaded for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You thought it was a good idea to cast Edward to the gym system so he could play you some music while working out. Now, you know it was stupid especially after you looked back towards Maria who’s now smirking at you.

Maria walked towards you and put a hand on your cheek. “Calm down, Agent Stark. We haven’t even started yet,” she whispered. Training daily was not a problem you said. Not going to be ruffled by gay feelings you said.

***

On days where you don’t have training, Maria always asks you to shadow her for the day while she does her job as deputy director. It’s in those days that Maria finds more reason to like you. On your first week, she found out that you’re even better with people than your brother. People used to always gravitate towards Tony because he was a force of nature that sucks in people in his orbit. You, on the other hand, is the calm after Tony’s storm, and people gravitate towards you because of your charming and dependable personality.

On the second week, she found out that while Tony likes reminding people that he’s a genius billionaire, you like keeping it on the down-low. It’s common knowledge that you are as much as a genius as Tony was but Maria appreciates your humility. In that same week, she also learned that you are a caretaker.

“Good morning, Agent Hill.” You greeted way too cheerfully. Maria turned towards you and was surprised to see you extending both your hands with coffee and pastry. She cocked her perfectly sculpted eyebrows at you. You smiled at her silent question. “You’re always here early. I’m assuming haven’t had breakfast yet. If you don’t want them, you can give them away.”

A pained looked briefly passes over Maria’s face like the thought of giving your gifts away pained her. “You’re right, I haven’t had breakfast yet. I didn’t wanna make too much fuss in the kitchen and risk waking Carol, and Wanda.” She took a bite of the still-hot Bearclaw. “Hmm. This is so good. Thank you.”

You smiled as you watch her eat up. “You said, you didn’t wanna wake Carol and Wanda. Where’s Tasha?”

Maria noted that you’re the only person at S.H.I.E.L.D that calls her girlfriend Tasha. “She always wakes up early but she’s hopeless in the kitchen.” Maria smiled fondly at the thought of Natasha. Then she looked up at you with mirth in her eyes. “Don’t tell her I said that, though.”

You two started giggling together.

***

The pastry and coffee became a habit. A part of it was you being obsessed with consistency but a bigger part of it was because you care about the woman. You’ve seen how busy she could be with training recruits, doing reports and paper works, coordinating missions, and attending meetings with Fury that she forgets to eat. So, every day like clockwork, no matter what happens or no matter where she is, you find a way to get Maria something to eat.

Just like how you found a way to send her, her daily fix of pastry and coffee while she was at the Avengers compound. Maria was on the balcony speaking with one of her agents when Happy waltz in.

“Happy! My man!” Sam yelled enthusiastically when he saw the man came in with boxes of doughnuts, a smaller paper bag, and a cup of coffee. “Is that for us?”

Happy greeted everyone before putting the doughnuts on the centre table. He made sure to put the smaller paper bag and coffee on a separate table. In Sam’s excitement over the prospect of food, he failed to get the message that the other package wasn’t for sharing.

“Uhm -” Happy tried to stop him but Sam already opened the small paper bag containing Maria’s Bearclaw.

“Oooh! Bear-” He didn’t manage to finish cooing over the pastry before Maria appeared before him with her standard S.H.I.E.L.D gun on his face. He let out an embarrassing yelp.

“Put my breakfast down Wilson or I’ll put you down myself.”

Sam gulped at the seriousness in Maria’s voice. He slowly put the bag down back on the side table and promptly put his hands up in surrender. “Damn, Hill. It’s just bread.”

It was all it took before Carol, Wanda, and Nat started laughing so hard. Sam turned towards his teammates and glared. Wanda recovered first and wiped the happy tears from her eyes. “It’s not just bread, Sam. It’s from her crush,” she said a little breathlessly from the laughing fit.

Sam turned to Maria who’s already sat down and nibbling quietly on her food with a faint blush on her cheeks. “You have a crush on Happy?” He asked incredulously.

Happy threw a pillow on the back of this head. “Ow! What?”

“It’s not from me, idiot.”

“It’s from Stark,” Carol said.

Sam turned towards Maria again. “You have a crush on Y/N?”

“Like I’m the only one,” Maria fired back. Making Sam turn towards the three, who are now turning bright red on their seat as well.

Sam and Bucky chuckled. “Well, hot damn.”

***

Exactly two months after starting your training with Maria, Fury decided you’re fit for more than just desk duty. No one was actually surprised at the decision. Aside from being more agile, more adaptable than any other recruit, you have also proven that you are just as smart as your brother was. Hence, making you as good as a tactician as he was.

On the day of your first mission, Maria came to work a little later than usual and she was surprised to only find her pastries but no you, sitting on her desk and waiting for her. She looked around to check if you’re in just loitering around other tables. You have, after all, been quite popular with the other agents. What with your insanely human-built, and charming personality.

“Agent Colson,” she called out when she saw the man passing by.

“Good morning, Agent Hill.” He greeted cordially. She was just about to ask you when Colson beat her to the subject. “I hope you don’t mind me borrowing Agent Stark, I’m one man short for today’s emergency mission.”

Maria was surprised but managed to give the man a tight smile. “Of course not,” she said shaking her head a little. “May I speak with Agent Stark before you leave though?”

“Of course, she’s probably out at the cockpit preparing with Daisy.”

***

Lo and behold, you are indeed in the cockpit, sitting on one of the metal crates. Your smile faltered a bit when you see the unreadable look on Maria’s face.

“What’s with the long face, Agent Hill?” You teased lightly. Agent Johnson kicked your foot in warning before walking away to give you two a little privacy.

“Nothing.” Her reply was short and clipped like she’s holding back on saying more. “Just -”

“Just?” You cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Just remember your training out there.” She shoved her hands at the back pocket of her dark jeans. “Don’t lose your head.”

It’s not like she doesn’t trust you to complete the mission. It’s not like she doesn’t trust Agent Colson’s team to have your back. They’re one of the finest agents in the organization but it still worries her that you’re going out there without her, or without one of her girlfriends at least. She will have to talk to Fury about it, she thought.

“I didn’t think you care so much, Agent Hill.”

You just couldn’t help teasing her especially when she looks like she’s struggling whether to admit to it or not with herself. Before she can answer though, Agent Johnson came back to tell you it’s time to take off. You nodded before jumping off the crate you’re seating on. Maria watched you leave before the quinjet closes, you turned back to her and winked. You caught a glimpse of her shaking her head to hide the faint blush on her cheeks.

***

The mission was fairly easy. It’s just supposed to be a recon mission. Get in, get intel, get out but like real life, not everything goes as planned. Right at the start, you were antsy, the place was way too quiet to be safe. It was even more suspicious when your team was able to get the intel you came for without meeting any hostile, nor any resistance.

“It’s a trap,” you whispered where your team are huddled in front of the computer. “Let’s pretend we hadn’t caught up to their plan.”

“What are you thinking?” Agent Grant asked while he types away on the keyboard.

“They’re going to ambush us on the way out,” you answered.

Everyone looked at each other. Agent Grant pulled the USB off the computer and turned towards you. “You should take this.” He pushed the device to your hand. “Just in case.”

You frowned. “Hold on a sec.” You snatched the device and slot it in your arm. Within a second, you pulled it back and gave it back to Agent Grant. He looked at you questioningly.

“I can’t hold on to that. They can shoot me, damage my operating system, deactivate me, and capture me.” Everyone got the message. “But I made a copy of what’s inside, just in case.”

“Okay. Let’s get this over with.” Everyone nodded. “Move out.”

***

As calculated, the ambush happened just before you can close the building. They’re waiting for you right in the open, with their annoying HYDRA uniform, and heavy artillery. No warning came before they started openly firing at your team.

You hear Agent Johnson barking orders in your comms. “Spread out, wait for my signal.”

You and Agent May run to the right, while Agent Johnson and Grant run to left and took cover on the thick trunk of the trees surrounding the vicinity. “They’re bound to run out of ammo. That’s our cue,” Agent Johnson spoke through the comms again.

Like clockwork, the gunfire stopped and the HYDRA soldier scrambled to reload their guns. Right on cue, the four of your stepped out of the shadow and started attacking the soldiers in close combat. You can see by the way they were uncoordinated that they weren’t expecting to be engaged that way. You took it as an opportunity to send powerful combination moves to immobilize as many hostiles as possible.

The fight lasted for at least an hour or more. Everyone took a moment to catch their breaths.

“Everyone okay?” Agent Johnson confirmed. The fight visibly took a lot from the team that they can only nod at the question.

“I think we better move out before more of these bad boys crawl out from where they came from,” you suggested. Nobody needed to be told twice. Nobody has any more energy left to fight a fresh wave of hostiles. Even you were running on your secondary battery pack.

***

A collective sigh of relief was heard once the quinjet was safely flying in autopilot. Everyone was already out of their tactical uniform when you emerged from the pit. Agent May smiled when she saw you walk in.

“Change out of your suit and try to relax a little,” she suggested. You started retracting your Phantom suit back to your body when Agent Johnson gasped.

“Agent Stark are you alright?” Agent Grant stood up to check you up. You were confused until you followed their line of sight.

“Oh.” Was all you could say when you saw the corrugated blade lodge a little off your left ribcage.

“Oh?” Your team asked in unison.

You sat down beside Agent Johnson. “What can we do?” She asked. By the hitch in her voice, you know she’s going frantic.

“Nothing as of the moment but I’m okay -” You said a little slower than you normally would, and your eyes started dropping. “-I have run diagnostic. It’s not a threat but it’s draining my batteries fast.”

Everyone calmed a little bit when they remembered you’re not entirely human anymore. “Okay. You should rest. We still have a few hours in the air,” Agent May suggested.

“I already sent a message for Happy. He will know how to handle me.”

***

True to your words, Happy was there when the quinjet landed. “Thank you,” he said to the team before rolling you away with the technical team. Maria arrived at the lab shortly after Happy got you in the table.

“What can I do to help, Happy?”

The man didn’t startle. Instead, he shoved a bunch of wires in her hands before going to the computers and started typing away.

“Can you attached those to Y/N’s body, please?”

Maria did as she was instructed to. After a few minutes, with the cables secure in various parts of your body, the lab light dimmed while the one at the exam table lit up. A program booted on the computer.

“Hello. I’m Edward, I’m Y/N Stark’s personal AI. What can I do for you?”

“Run diagnostics on Y/N.” Happy commanded the AI with practised precision.

“It appears that Ms Stark has suffered a stab wound on her left ribcage. No internal wirings or hardware has been compromised. Except for Battery Pack A.”

“Suggested course of action?”

“Replace battery pack A, and initiate skin repair protocol.”

Happy nodded solemnly while checking his work tablet. Maria standing on the side, just watching everything unfold.

“Edward, I just connected you to this lab. Run an inventory of supplies and equipment.”

After literally five seconds. “Inventory complete.”

Happy smiled thinking how you did well in programming Edward. “Do we have what you need to start Y/N’s repairs?”

“Yes.”

“Then initiate.”

“Copy that, Harold.”

***

The replacement of your battery pack and the repair on your skin only took 45 minutes. All of which was done by the industrial robots from Stark Industries. Happy and Maria looked on intently as machines whirred around you.

“Repairs complete,” Edward informed the pair both Maria and Happy who sighed their relief quietly.

“How long before she wakes, Edward?” Maria asked.

“In about 5 hours tops, Agent Hill. The protocol includes putting her on stasis as she fully charges all four of her batteries.”

“In that case, I’m going to get us something to eat first. This is stressful.” Happy declared while already almost halfway to the door.

***

Five hours, and a box of pizza later, you opened your eyes. You turn your head away from the light and saw Happy sleeping on the sofa in the lab. You smiled softly to yourself, happy to still have the man by your side.

“Hey.” You turned to your other side, surprised to see Maria sitting by your bedside and holding a book on robotics.

“Hey,” you choked out. There’s that unreadable expression on Maria’s face again. Lucky for you, you didn’t have to ask her any more about it before Maria closed the book in her hand and threw herself in your arms.

“Hey, I’m here. I’m okay.” You tried to assure her but Maria only tightened her hold on you.

“You scared me,” she mumbled against your chest.

You were inclined to make a joke about being invincible but by the looks of it, Maria wouldn’t appreciate it. So, you stopped deflecting to protect yourself from catching pesky feelings. You wrapped your hands around her a little tighter.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

267 notes · View notes

merryfortune · 4 years ago

Text

Get Well Soon

Ship: Chiyu/Shindoine

Fandom: Healin’ Good PreCure

Word Count: 2.4k

Tags: Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Redemption Arc, Minor or Implied Relationships

Synopsis: Unrequited feelings are a disease and it sure is going around a lot lately.

She wasn’t sure when reality had slapped her in the face, but it had and it had hard.

It had even left its mark. Again, she wasn’t really sure when it had. Or maybe it had every time and she had been so quick with the blush of denial; she never noticed the pink in her cheeks that wasn’t rouge.

But, at long last and overdue, Shindoine was finally ready to face the facts. King Byougen was not in love with her.

She was madly in love with him, but he did not feel the same way. She was nothing but a nuisance to him. Nothing at all to him. Just another replaceable soldier but he was the one to have named her. To have first called her by Shindoine and when he had spoken that name, she had swooned. To be given meaning and identity and purpose but for what? To be just another token in a losing war?

It was awful. Made Shindoine’s heart twist and turn and knot.

She had listened to that wretched thing for so long in the place of advice more down to Earth, stemming from the likes of Guwaiwaru and Daruizen. Shindoine sighed and suddenly nothing mattered to her. Not the shimmer on her eyelids nor the lipstick that she used; her nails seemed blunt despite having been treated this morning.

Even with all the gloom and misery around her, the bubbling and magmic world of one so thoroughly and endlessly undermined, wasn’t quite good enough for the heavy feelings that Shindoine wallowed in. If she was going to feel sorry for herself, she needed somewhere which wasn’t here because here had nothing but pebbles to kick and no one at all to bully.

Somehow being hit with the I told you so from either of her fellow Generals hurt more than the actual revelation that her feelings towards King Byougen were useless.

So, to the Human World it was.

But it wasn’t the same.

When she was on the rampage before, it had been done in the name of love and there was nothing more invigorating than that. And no, the irony wasn’t lost on Shindoine. She was at her peak, physically, mentally, and emotionally, when she was in love. Doing it all for her precious King Byougen. All healthy and refreshed. Disgusting. Now she only had pity and other pathetic feelings for that Shindoine she had been before she had accepted the reality rather than making herself up with make-up and denial.

It was so much rosier back then. Even if back then was mere hours ago, really.

Shindoine looked around. She hardly knew where she was, just walking around in a daze. Sulky and depressed. Worst still, she was ignored. Or at least she thought she was ignored. She was certainly doing a lot of ignoring as she heavied herself with all the different ways that she could negatively self-talk about herself and her stupid, unrequited love.

But looking up, blinking, getting dazzled by the sunlight, she had to squint but Shindoine was almost certain she knew this place. That she had been here before. The stony steps; the wooden building, and a very, very subtle and well-hidden smell of sulfur.

She growled to herself as she let another terrible realisation dawn on her. This was where the blue, water-themed Pretty Cure hailed from. Cure Fontaine. Shindoine could feel her skin crawl but for some reason, it didn’t repel her. Rather, it further attracted her to this building.

It could be fun to wreck. To rend it with all her angst and loathing. Slipping inside undetected wasn’t too hard, either. Shindoine looked around. It was different to a lot of the other human dwellings that she had been inside of. That a vastly different style, to it. The bamboo on the flooring, the layout that had a natural flow to it. It seemed older. She didn’t necessarily dislike it as she explored it for an idea of something to infect with a Nano Byougen.

Only, she didn’t end up doing that. She ended up in its backyard with nothing speaking to her with inspiration. Not in a destructive way at least. Shindoine found herself mildly intrigued by the hot springs. It had been a long day and the warmth was pleasing to her skin. It was gentle; not like the harsh, raking warmth of her home world.

So, she indulged herself. She deserved it, after all. It had been a horrible past few hours and walking around aimlessly in her high heels had done a number on the soles of her feet so she sat down at the rocks. She took off her shoes, took off her pantyhose too and she tried dipping her toes in the water.

Shindoine could have melted when she broke the tranquil meniscus of the water. She shivered and she sighed. It was wonderful as she let herself go deeper; her toes grazing the scrubbed down bottom of the hot springs. It was soft but still had a rocky feel; it was fun texture. For the first time in hours, Shindoine smiled to herself and she drank in her surrounds. How quiet it was; that hidden smell of sulfur. Oh, it was perfect.

It could have been perfect.

It was perfect, very much so, right up until the moment when she heard a clatter behind her. Something dropped in surprise, buckets and brooms and that sort of thing.

Shindoine turned her head with a scowl. She saw a familiar face that she couldn’t quite place but she knew her luck, even if she didn’t know this girl as that girl was undoubtedly Cure Fontaine, even if she wasn’t in her big, plucky dress and the like. She smiled awkwardly.

“My apologies,” she began and Shindoine was almost about to tell her to save it before she continued, “I didn’t realise that we had a guest.”

She then bent down to pick up what she had dropped - and it had been exactly what Shindoine had thought, a bucket and a mop. Shindoine glared. Pouted, too, chewing the inside of her cheek.

“I can leave, too, if you would prefer privacy. I don’t want to disturb someone whilst they are soaking.” she said.

“If its you, I don’t mind.” Shindoine said. “We can call a truce for today, Fontaine, I’m not bothered enough to go on a rampage today.”

“Oh, dear…” she murmured, and she set aside her cleaning supplies.

Shindoine groaned to herself. Now she had gone and done it. She had a feeling that this was about to be more bothersome than conjuring a Megabyougen and trying to destroy the place. And yet, she didn’t try to do that. To throw dirt in the face of that truce and instead let the Pretty Cure sit down next to her. Her feet dipping into the water and all as she held onto her apron, a look of concern on her face.

It made Shindoine sick to her stomach. The way this girl could just give her a break like this. If it was the other way around, Shindoine knew that she would be merciless. One of the Pretty Cure having a bad day? There wouldn’t be another opportunity like it but the moment she, the villainess and arch-nemesis of this very girl has a bad day?

She sits down with her and makes the most soft-eyed expressions. It revolted Shindoine as she tried to look away from said soft-eyed expressions. She was too pretty, that girl. It irked Shindoine.

She sat down next to her and straightened up her apron that she wore and looked up to Shindoine and said, “You can call me Chiyu, if you like.”

Shindoine very much did not like that but she did anyway.

“What’s got you so down, hm? Do you want to talk about it?” Chiyu asked.

Shindoine very much did not want to talk about it with Chiyu but she did anyway. In a small, uncertain voice, she admitted to this Pretty Cure what the troubles with her bubbles were, making ripples in the water with her foot, Shindoine very simply explained herself, “He’s not in love with me.”

Chiyu’s expression all but shattered. That soft look in her blue eyes hardened, turned almost icy and if Shindoine didn’t know any better, she would say that Chiyu empathesied very much with her crisis.

And sure enough, she did, she mumbled back, “I know the feeling.”

“Oh please,” Shindoine huffed, flicking water about, “as if. Who in the world would turn down you? Me? I can understand. Who would want a no-good villainess around, only useful as cannon fodder, no different to the other two dweebs I hang out with but you? Beautiful, brilliant Pretty Cure who always saves the day? Yeah right, girlie, you are yanking my chain so knock it off.”

“No, really,” Chiyu insisted, “I know the feeling and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You are beautiful and brilliant in your own right, Shindoine, you always give your all. Its admirable, even if, er, yes you are trying to destroy the planet but, um, perhaps if you are intruding on a party of two… Then yes, you would get turned down.”

Shindoine gasped. “No way.” she exclaimed.

Chiyu nodded and she twiddled her thumbs, “Yes way.” She mumbled.

“Pinkie and Yellow, huh?” Shindoine teased.

“Yes, it seems they have coupled up but knowing they are exclusive does little to quell the crush I have on Nodoka regardless.” Chiyu murmured.

“Here’s to us then.” Shindoine murmured.

“Here’s to us.” Chiyu echoed back.

They were both quiet for a moment. Letting on the hot springs make almost imperceptible noises for them until, eventually, they both had to do something. To move, to make a sound. They both turned their heads at just the right time to catch the other doing the same and there was a genuine understanding of pity and grief of being unrequited between them.

Chiyu smiled, sympathetic. “You’re not too bad when you’re not trying to destroy the world.”

“Gee, thanks.” Shindoine sarcastically replied. “You’re not too bad either, when you’re not trying to save the world.”

Chiyu laughed.

“That makes you laugh?” Shindoine asked.

“Well, um, not really. I prefer puns, actually.” Chiyu admitted.

Now Shindoine was laughing and quite raucously at that. She closed her eyes to it and she tried to imagine Chiyu having a real belly ache over something as stupid as that. Stupider still, she couldn’t think of one to test and when she opened her eyes, Shindoine was caught off guard by how beautiful Chiyu looked in the sunglitter bouncing off the still waters, sitting prim and proper. All whilst emanating this sincerity that almost made Shindoine want to switch sides.

She was just so lost. She couldn’t bring herself to destroy the world for someone who would just destroy her, so she looked longingly onto this girl and she felt almost refreshed. There was a wondering, it lived within the glint of the sunlight and the water of the hot springs, and she took that chance.

Shindoine kissed Chiyu on the lips. Surprising her.

Chiyu was too stunned to kiss back but she couldn’t deny there wasn’t a fizzle to it either. She could feel the skin on her lips literally burn off the longer that Shindoine kissed her. The taste was rancid, but she could feel the kind passion behind it.

Shindoine, meanwhile, sighed into the kiss. Where it was hurting Chiyu, it was healing her. Chiyu’s lips were soft and wet; vaguely tasting of cleanly mint and once upon a time, Shindoine would have been disgusted by that. Right now, in this mid-afternoon moment, it intrigued her. It was all part of the experience as she took this foray into the light and when she broke back, she moaned.

There were burns and blisters on Chiyu’s lips. She instinctively tried to cover up her mouth, now wounded but it just made her seem cuter. Shindoine smiled to herself. She thought they were just the right shade of red tinged with pus; she tilted her head to the side and Chiyu felt flustered by her stare and just how fond it was.

“I’m still not sure what to do with myself but… I like you at the very least.” Shindoine said. She then got up abruptly, she flipped her long hair off her back and generally fussed. “I best be going.”

“Okay then,” Chiyu replied, feeling a little stood up, being kissed and ghosted in one fell swoop, “but will I see you soon?”

“I hope so. If I don’t try and destroy this world, the others will and those two are losers so.” Shindoine murmured.

“I see…” Chiyu murmured, downhearted.

Beginning to walk away from Chiyu, scared of leaving what she was literally created to do despite her apprehensions of her usefulness unto it, Shindoine added, “Healin’ goodbye… That’s what you guys say, yes? Well, I’m feelin’ it, at least a little bit, and its strangely not that bothersome or tiresome.”

Shindoine had no idea if she was giving Chiyu false hope of some redemption in those words. All she wanted was love. Love to infect her and to infect others with love and with those marks on Chiyu’s lips, Shindoine had certainly accomplished something like that.

“I’m glad so, um, get well soon.” Chiyu said, chipper despite her hesitance which dipped into over-confidence because she was making a joke. Her laughter was proof of that even if it made Shindoine roll her eyes.

Chiyu’s demeanour was so bright that Shindoine was glad she had her back turned but she could feel how bright they were. It unsettled her; it made her skin crackle and blister no different to her kiss unto Chiyu because even thoigh bleach was cleansing, it was still a poison.

Shindoine smiled. She disappeared soon after, but she did take Chiyu’s bidding her farewell in good, amused heart. She wanted to get well soon as well as unrequited love was a disease. Though, having said that, she wasn’t too sure what that made her kindling with Chiyu because it didn’t feel like sickness, but it wasn’t a cure either but it was a middle ground that maybe Shindoine could get used to.

#femslash #precure #healin good precure #healin good #shindoine #shindoine (precure)#chiyu sawaizumi #sawaizumi chiyu #cure fontaine #chiyu x shindoine #shindoine x chiyu #shindochiyu #i wasn't gonna post this tongiht but someone booted me up the arse on the precure server im on #because i am a sensitive little baby who is also incredibly vindictive #age gap cw #enemies to lovers cw

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extraordinarilyirrelevant · 5 years ago

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50 shades of kakuhida pt 1

A self imposed challenge in which I recommend 50 fanfics of my fav pairing. Can range from ooc as fuck to hardcore, it’ll probably be mostly mature in nature as I take to that more than fluff, but who knows? In no particular order so have fun choosing

1) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10688020/1/More-Bitter-Than-Sweet Summary: Kakuzu has been in prison for five years and now he’s out. He’s got a lot of time to make up for and Hidan better be ready for it! PWP. KakuHidan. Oneshot

Kicking off this list with nsfw! As you can get from the summary, it’s a modern/prison type au. I remember really enjoying it my first read through, and mostly just smut

2) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3201746/1/Say-Hello-To-Your-New-Partner Summary: Kakuzu was told he’d receive his seventh and final partner in a week. He wasn’t sure he liked the evil, conniving glint in the Leader’s eyes when he told him that his new partner would be special. Crackfic!

Not really smut as I don’t recall them doing the devil’s tango. But has violence and is a pretty good read. It was inspired by canon so they feel pretty in character

3) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5345195/1/Kakuzu-and-Hidan-Alphabet Summary: Two adjectives for every letter of the alphabet that describe and unfold a story about Kakuzu and Hidan’s love. Yaoi. KakuHi. For Lecture, as a birthday present. Enjoy! M for implied naughties and Hidan’s mouth.

A pretty neat way of writing fanfiction, and a neat concept in general. Props for their creativeness and I liked reading it from start to finish wondering how the two adjectives would connect etc., Definitely a fun read

4) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6495320/1/How-to-break-a-habit Summary: Hidan wants change. Kakuzu doesn’t. KakuHida. Warnings: yaoi pairings, explicit language, sexual themes, Kisame is very OOC, Tobi and Sasori are in the Akatsuki at the same time.

I absolutely love this as it’s pure smut. The writer even made the porn the plot! Brilliant

5) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3777073/1/A-Stronger-Kind-of-Addiction Summary: The pain he gave him, the touches he received he hated himself for it, but he loved him still. [KakuHidan] [Kakuzu x Hidan]

A short pwp. Nothing to say except good shit I love a needy Hidan

6) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6979182/1/Yuuwaku Summary: “About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you’re fighting temptation.” -Tom Wilson. Kakuzu is tempted. Kakuzu x Fem!Hidan, very M.

I’m not usually one for genderbending characters as I’m a fujoshi at heart, but I rather enjoyed kakuzu resisting temptation, made the smut that much better

7) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6918534/1/Blasphemy Summary: Convicted criminal Kakuzu is in Death Row. A certain Jashin priest is sent to give him spiritual advice in his last days on Earth. WARNING: pointless smut and a little bit of asphyxiation. KuzuHidan

Another kakuhida prison au. I remember liking this, but it’s been some time since I’ve read it, might have to reread this one

8) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4598939/1/Gives-you-Hell Summary: Hidan, a successful writer, has to face a fate worse than death: meet his ex boyfriend at a high school reunion. But don’t worry, he has a plan… KakuHidan, AU

9) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4135743/1/Routine Summary: Hidan loathed Kakuzu. Kakuzu thought Hidan was amusing. And whatever they tried to do, they just can’t keep from falling into their four-step routine of fighting. A particular incident in the gold vault. KakuHida

Might be oc since the author stated that they read the Chinese manga adaptation of the zombie combo

10) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5257229/1/Matchmaking Summary: Deidara is fed up with Hidan and Kakuzu fighting all the time, and has gotten an idea to end all the fights

Although I don’t care much for crossdressing as it reminds me of my early days of yaoi *shudders* I liked this. A fun read with a funny ending

11) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3827161/1/Persuade-Me Summary: [KakuHidan] Hopefully SOMETHING can make Kakuzu pay for it…

Sneaky lil shit Hidan is best lil shit

12) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4152820/1/Glaring Summary: Short fluffy oneshot with Kaku/Hida. They’ve gotten used to working with each other, but there’s still something about Kakuzu that bothers Hidan

The smut is implied as it skips over the details, but I like the concept of kakuzu’s masks having a presence in fics

13) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4955346/1/More-Than-Fifty-Cents Summary: Hidan is a editorial columnist. One day, Kakuzu, a reporter, implies that Hidan is not even worth fifty cents. Since then, Hidan spends more time with Kisame instead of Kakuzu and the latter gets jealous. Will Kakuzu humble himself and say sorry? AU

Jealous kuzu best kuzu. Also I ship pretty much every akatsuki member with Hidan so I appreciated the kisahida despite it being purely platonic, that’s how I like it anyways (kisahida and hidadei are brotps of mine)

14) https://archiveofourown.org/works/9369665 Summary: At an age where you’re too young to have control of your body (or your thoughts) but you’re old enough to act on them, Hidan finds his control slipping away from him. It’s Kakuzu’s fault, most things are. But, did the jerk really have to walk around like that?

Love how nonchalantly we roll into smut, and love how Hidan isn’t the typical uke type

15) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13343494/1/Catkuzu

Summary: Hidan has been talked into adopting a cat, and it seems to hate him.

A little drabble about Kakuzu as a cat, turns out the last fic wasn’t the one I was thinking of, so I figured I’d change it to this one

16) https://archiveofourown.org/works/17391395 Summary: When you want someone to talk to your fellow Hufflepuff and his weird scary boyfriend about their – late night enthusiasm – who do you ask? A prefect, of course.

I just love this entire crossover series

17) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873444 Summary: Hidan is a textbook sadomasochist. He loves the bite and the sting of pain during sex and finding Kakuzu was honestly a miracle because no one else could handle him. So why does he suddenly feel so jealous of Itachi and Kisame? The world’s most disgustingly adorable couple?

18) https://archiveofourown.org/works/1622795 Summary: They aren’t necessarily in love, but they’re the best they have

No smut at all, I don’t even think it’s implied. But I loved this

19) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18580348/chapters/44046472 Summary: Kakuzu, having killed yet another of his partners, is forced to tag along with Itachi and Kisame. While he’s less than thrilled by the frequent stops at tea shops, he has to admit slight intrigue when the owner of this one tries to sacrifice them all to his god.

(In which literally everything is the same except that Hidan runs a tea shop.)

Not really smutty either. But I love their form of flirting here and how Kakuzu always goes back

20) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685198 Summary: There are strange moments between them, strange moments where things are almost gentle. —- Only 20 today as I need sleep and this is already long enough as it is

#Kakuhida

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lucastheunlucky · 4 years ago

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sense of touch| noah&lucas

Summary: Noah comes over Luke’s. The two talk werewolf abilities, the intensity of their senses, and Luke still thinks Noah & Winn are a bunch of idiots. It’s nice having friends for the werewolf though, and the two veg out and relax. Triggers: drug use (marijuana) @noah-kalani

Standing there 6 pack tucked under his arm Noah wrapped the knuckles of his good hand against Luke’s door, hoping it was loud enough. He never quite knew how hard he should knock, but then again Luke was a werewolf so he probably already knew Noah was there anyway. He hadn’t exactly wanted to do this at first, their whole ‘last time we messaged I was so angry we talked in circles at each other’ a bit cringe worthy. But after, well almost drowning (again) and then reuniting with Winn, Noah knew he needed to at least rekindle something with the other boy. Luke had had a valid point after all, even if Noah was loath to admit it at the time. Plus Luke has said the B word in his last text message, which was intriguing to say the least. Because Noah didn’t really know many bisexuals, least of all ones who played football.

Luke had the uncanny ability to let shit bothering him go when he needed it to not ruin a night. He was pretty private anyway about most stuff, and he’s not even told anyone about what happened with Salva and Gotch. Which, he knew he’d probably get yelled at about that, but he couldn’t think about it. This one text erased his mind of it. Willing to throw his phone in the loft, and make sure he actually did have something in the fridge to drink (he did). The moment he heard the other, Luke quickly swung the door open and reached out quickly for Noah’s shirt to yank him in. Hoping to scare him a little-- because Luke was ridiculously playful and loved the chance to be silly. “Noah,” Luke stuck his tongue out playfully. “You got here in 16 minutes, speeding much?”

The last thing Noah expected from this night was to be forcibly yanked into Lukes apartment. But then again, here he was, being forcibly yanked into Luke’s apartment. Things were already off to a great start. “I'm sorry officer,” Noah started holding up his good hand “I must have a lead foot.” Smiling wide he jabbed Luke playfully in the side, the bro-ish comradery code demanding he up ‘minor bodily harm’ ante. It was funny just how much Noah missed this playful roughhousing with the “boys” mentality that was so prevalent in football culture. And ok yes their locker room talk and general passive misogyny left much to be desired, but there were still moments that Noah wouldn’t trade for the world, and he was glad that Luke understood all of these antics.

“Or, you are just bad at guessing timing,” Lucas locked the door, and latched it out of safety when he received the jab. Everything in him wanted to turn and tackle the other, but he noticed his hand right away-- even the smell on him faintly off to bring his attention to it. The wolves were filled with injury this week. He playfully snapped his teeth, and wrapped his arm heavily over his shoulder to lead him into the small, modest apartment. “What, brings you to see lil o’l me? Did you get in trouble? Did you want us to look each other in the eye and apologize for being losers over text? Cause--” He waved it off, and stepped into the kitchen. “We can have a difference of opinion. All’s good.”

Letting Luke lead him further into the apartment Noah rolled his eyes playful at the other. Well until Luke pinpointed exactly why Noah was here. Setting down the 6 pack Noah reached for a bottle handing one to the other man “It’s partly that. But its also partly” Noah paused trying to figure out how to phrase what he was going to say next. He didn’t think this part of the meeting was going to happen till he was at least a beer and half in so the script he’d had in his head was definitely all outta whack “Ok so I’ve had to do a lot of emotional heavy lifting and like refocusing this week so I figured I might as well address this too while I’m at it.” He continued before taking his own beer from the package “Cuz you know like I know we can have a difference of opinion, but part of growth is being open to listen to other’s points of view.” Fishing out his keyes from his pocket he popped the top off of his own beer before handing them to Luke “So I guess what I am here to say is. I’ve seen Winn, I’m not angry anymore, I am simply here to listen. If you want to talk, we can, if you don’t we can just drink beer and blow shit up on Call of Duty or something. Your call.” Noah shrugged.

Lucas accepted the beer and leaned on the counter while Noah spoke. He could see the wheels turning in the other, and he made his way over to the living room with a gesture so they were at least comfortable. Plopping on the couch, his feet bare, Luke dressed in a cotton shirt and workout sweats looked quite at home and comfortable, his arm not bandaged, but the wound had been aggravated open from the fight. “Ah, we don’t have to linger on it if you feel okay about everything. Growing up with three other siblings and being in the middle has given me a lot of training in forgiving people, and also in saying sorry, so I am-- sorry,” Luke said easily. “I do, really have to ask you.” He lifted his brow a little, smile blinding in his cheeky tone. “You and Winn-- still a bro relationship? Or… you know, finally upgrading?”

Noah shrugged slightly as he made himself comfortable on the couch. “I mean the fact you even feel the need to say sorry is something I think we should probably talk about” he started taking another swig of his beer. “But I will follow your lead” Because if Lucas truly didn’t want to talk about it then he wasn’t going to force the other boy. But of course, that was before Lucas decided to play dirty. If Noah had been in the middle of drinking he’d have spat it all out on the couch, the older man insinuating that he an Winn were together “Oh we’re not like-” Noah quickly corrected, nervous words now flowing freely from his mouth “I-I mean I’m like all for the cause and everything but I’m just not-” Oh no Noah stop. “Ok let me start over. Winn and I-” He stopped trying to figure out how to phrase his relationship with Winn. Friendship didn’t quite cover everything that Noah wanted it to but he was definitely not. Upgrading. Like he was not, totally not, 100 percent not pursuing a relationship with Winn alright. Like he might have thought about letting Winn kiss him that one time, and then cried in his arms, and generally didn’t want to live without him, but that was normal right? “Winn and I are just friends” Noah finished. Yea there was something about that word that didn't sit right, but he didn't have the mental capacity to deal with it now, much less in front of Lucas.

Oh man. Okay. That was a harmless tease-- in that Luke really enjoyed pushing buttons and being a total butt sometimes, however, Noah’s reaction was actually pretty surprising. His eyes were wide as he rambled off, and Luke was stunned just a little bit in silence (which was really hard to do), his mouth open comically and holding his beer an inch from it. “Oh, bro-- it’s chill,” he actually giggled, and hid it with a deep swig from his beer. “I was just teasing. You know-- you argue then make up-- you know, then have-- nevermind.” He laughed a little, shaking his head with a wide smile and waved his beer between them as if to brush it off. “You are funny, man. Don’t have a panic.” Lord. Shit. Do these two shit heads even get it? Luke wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in the middle of this, but also felt like he totally wanted to be in the middle of this. He quieted, and inhaled to try to clear his shipping thoughts. “So, alright. We need to start over,�� his smile was wide, still welcoming and not combative. “You smoke? I’ll roll us one. If you don’t like it, we can put it out.” He reached over towards the side table and pulled over a small marble box into his lap. Bringing his legs up to criss cross them, he got comfortable situating everything on his thighs, opening the box with a waft of marijuana. He hummed, rolling out a joint. “Tell me, in all seriousness-- just so I can understand better. Why is the concept of hiding or running away so bad for you?”

Downing the rest of his beer, Noah tried not to let the blood rise to his cheeks. Because of course Luke was just teasing. Because of course there was nothing going on between him and Winn whatsoever. Shrugging it all off though for a better subject he shook his head when Luke asked if he smoked. “Not religiously. Football had a pretty strict drug testing policy. Which of course was hilarious to me considering my performance enhancer of choice was a werewolf kidney” He grinned. But the grin slowly turned back to somberness as the older boy started asking the real questions. “It's a bit hard to explain,” Noah started with a sigh. Because again, there was his tragic backstory, rearing its ugly head. Looking over at the casual way that Luke was rolling the joint though Noah figured that maybe now was time to rip off the bandaid “So I lost my mom, my dad, and my little brother in a boating accident when I was 13. And before you begin, you don’t have to apologize. Life happened, I’ve dealt with it, still actively healing the whole shebang” Noah waved off the other man, not really wanting a repeat of the emotional evening he had with Simon. “But i guess to actually answer your question, running bothers me because yea it seems like an easy choice to make at the moment, but it hurts so many people that care about you. Like my family didn't even leave me on purpose, but I’ve had to deal with so many ramifications of that. So I guess-” Noah paused cocking his head a little staring down into his beer bottle “Like if the shoe was on the other foot, and I had a choice. I still would choose to stay, mostly because I know what it feels like to be left.”

Lucas didn’t need to be told to interrupt, but the wave between them spoke volumes to how this subject was approached by others, or the very act was Noah putting up a wall between them without realizing it. He licked the paper, sealing the edges with practiced motions, and set the stuff on the table to pull out a lighter. Luke felt terrible about the tale, and could definitely understand a lot more why such a thing was difficult for Noah. He, however, was on the other side of it. The one who left, the one who always leaves, hides, or keeps away. He never did hear from Miles on how it felt-- Miles seemed so relieved to have him back that it honestly never came up. Luke struck the lighter and lit the end until it caught, drawing the smoke in and passed it to Noah. With a careful release, the burn, pleasant and familiar, “thanks for sharing that man.” Lucas said honestly, “I’m still sorry you suffered, but I do get it. I think most people who leave don’t always want to leave. It was lonely for me, and I felt awful the entire time, but it also felt like the only path in front of me or the only one I could see. It’s hard to explain.”

Taking the joint from Luke, Noah took a long inhale, letting the smoke sit in his lungs for a few moments before exhaling. He knew what Luke was trying to say but….. “But that's the thing, it's not the only path.” Noah replied, passing the joint back to Luke and setting his beer down on the coffee table.“I mean I don't claim to know anything about your situation. But from what I know about Winn’s and well running in general” Noah shook his head. He wanted to figure out how to put everything he wanted to say delicately but it didn't seem like there really wasn’t a way to do that so he just came out and said it. “It's not the only path. It's just more often than not the easiest one.” Because to Noah’s eyes it was. Running was easy. Staying was harder.

Lucas slid down in the couch, and relaxed. It was already late anyway and he was in clothes he could sleep in, so the mood was comfortable. He took the joint back, and huffed a laugh at the word easy. “Exactly, it’s not. In that moment though, it’s like the only one illuminated,” Lucas enjoyed the smoke for a few seconds, pondering the best way to put it. It really was difficult to explain, and when he thought about how he convinced Winston all those years ago he’d not even sure if it would make sense to him now. “Easy-- isn’t the word I’d use for me, at least. I was recovering from three bullet wounds laced with silver. Shit fucked up my organs, my brain-- crawling from a damn grave by myself. I didn’t even exist for a couple months. I don’t remember healing or how I did, or who was always there. All I knew,” he passed the joint, voice deeper as he spoke from it, and swirled his beer giving Noah all the attention. “All I knew was that this person existed and had me murdered and watched it. So my reasoning was-- well I’ll stay dead then, so he can’t hurt me anymore. Then shit, years went by so fast. I regret it though. Now-- I regret being alone.”

“I dunno about that.” Noah shook his head before grabbing a pillow and placing it casually on his lap legs sprawling out a bit between them. It was too early to feel the effects of the joint but he was prepared for his body to loosen nevertheless. “I think, and maybe this is just my brain, but like. I’d rather take a second and assess my options before I just blindly choose one. That way I know it's a decision I won't regret” He shrugged out taking the joint back from the other man. “I do get it though.” Noah started after another drag. Because he did in some way. Healing from his kidney procedure and the aftermath of well everything had put him in a very weird headspace that was hard to get out of. “Like not all of it obviously, but yea. Shits not fair. And I know from experience that this really doesn't help but, sorry you had to go through that.” He nudged Luke gently with his foot hoping the other took the touch as sincere and heartfelt.

Luke hummed in response. He’s promised himself after the last attack, the glaring one up his arm and scarred over, that he would make sure the people around him had a version of Luke that wasn’t like his past self. When he was in his twenties, it was different. He was selfish, he partied, and got into trouble to hide from the fact what was happening to him was happening at all. Everything Gotch has instilled in him had to be unraveled, unlearned, and it had to start with him listening a little more carefully. “Thanks-- before I met you all, I considered just leaving with him. But that was just because he was in my head, still is mind you-- but it’s getting better.” Lucas’ hand rested on his legs, fingers easily toying with the skin just above Noah’s shoe. “Well, I’m not going anywhere. If Gotch wants me, he has to kill me cause I won’t go without a serious fight.” Lucas wanted that fight more than anything, even if he probably couldn’t handle it mentally yet. “Hrmm, come here-- you are too far away.” Lucas pouted just a little bit, but it was with a smile as he tucked his head back on the couch and drank his beer. “What do you want from family Noah? What does that look like for you?”

Noah nodded solemnly as he handed the joint back to Luke “Glad you didn’t” Lukes touch on his foot was nice, Noah wouldn’t deny it. “Too far away for what?” Noah asked playfully poking Luke again with his toe before repositioning so he was fully on the couch now, legs folded underneath him. There was still a good few inches between the boys but Noah was closer than before. “Cuz If you lure me in with a hug just to kidney punch me Imma be mad bro.” He didn't think that's really what Luke was going to do but he had to jest any way, especially as Lucas hit him with the family question. “Oh god, thats a loaded question” Noah ran a hand through his hair as he thought “I guess i really just want loyalty, and love, and people who care”

“I won’t punch you,” he laughed, “I might be bigger, but your arms are no joke.” Lucas knew he was asking a lot of personal shit, but he really did want to know. Family was important for anyone, and he hoped Noah hadn’t forgotten that feeling after losing his. Lucas slid down on the couch, all six foot two of him taking over most of the thing, forcing his legs and feet around Noah’s criss crossed position so he didn’t kick him off. The joint played easily on his lips, taking soft inhales and holding it near his mouth when Noah explained further. “It’s not that loaded,” he let a low swirl of smoke. “I was curious-- I want to see you find that. I’m a sap though, totally sensitive, it’s why--” He stopped himself from saying it, that's why he’s always the one fucked up by people who take advantage of him. The high rolled pleasantly in a way that made his mind linger in thought a little deeper. “Alright, ask me anything. No matter how crazy or invasive, I’ll answer it honestly.” Luke looked at the joint almost gone, handing the very last bit to Noah to finish.

“Bruh you are a literal werewolf. You could knock me out easily” Noah huffed simply accepting his fate between Lucas’ outstretched legs. In any other situation he’d be panicking, mostly because positions like this were reserved for the boys and the boys only, not people he barely knew. But he was relaxed enough right now that he kinda didn’t care. Which was new. But ultimately nice. “No problem with being sensitive bro,” Noah clucked as Luke stopped mid sentence patting the other’s leg gently. “You’re a born wolf right?” Noah scrunched his eyebrow slightly trying to remember what he’d been told as he took the last hit off the joint “So is touching like a wolf thing? I know Winn likes to touch me a lot, and then there’s this” He motioned to Lucas’ legs around his middle, blowing out the last bit of smoke out of his lungs “To which I don’t mind or anything, but just thought I’d ask, for like reference you know”

“I am,” he confirmed, sipping his beer and closing his eyes to let his high roll into something relaxing and not paranoid. “Touching is just nice. Men never let themselves experience it so easily-- thinks it's taking shit too far with their friends, but being a wolf trait? Hmmmm, probably. The last guy I was with for a night-- his scent, that smallest touch. God. I still think about him, want him.” He huffed a laugh-- his mind didn’t need to linger in kissing Otto right now even though his fingers lingered on his lips. “Maybe touch is too, all our senses are heightened, hearing, smell, taste, sight, so it might be.” Lucas shrugged, glancing down at his position and grinned cheekily. “Ah, that’s probably more me. I can move if you don’t like it, but since I’m being honest. You seem very snuggable, do people hold you enough? It’s ‘probably’ why Winn hangs all over you. You have that vibe, my dude.”

The last guy. Noah made a mental note of the gender. Not that it mattered to him, he was fine with Lucas being bisexual after all, but still that was interesting. “I agree about the men thing” Noah nodded with a sigh “My best friends and I are pretty touchy, but it took a long time to get to that point. Or at least it did for me. Being the weird new kid in their group and all” Noah shrugged looking down at lucas’ leg. He was tempted to poke it again, but stopped when the conversation turned to about him being touched and snuggled. “No, they don’t” It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, the mixture of weed and the alcohol lowering his brain to mouth filter. “I mean, I’m just usually the one doing the emotional support snuggling, not the one being snuggled I guess. Goes with the vibe” Noah shrugged out, hoping that wasn’t too much of a noticeable backtrack, though he could already feel the red tinge to his cheeks. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed to admit he wanted to be touched and held, but it still was hard. Noah wasn’t exactly the type to ask for what he needed after all. “You’re good though, like with me and touching and things.” He was rambling now, and probably really needed to stop talking, but hey, in for a penny in for a pound. “Like I’ll for sure tell you if you cross a line”

Lucas frowned a little, surprised people didn’t bother giving Noah something so simple. Luke didn’t overly think about werewolf traits, but those around him now that were either bitten, or in a special case like Noah, they kept reminding him that he might take it all for granted. “I’ll leave this out there for you, but if you ever need to just cuddle up and not even talk about shit, just hit me up, man. Everyone needs to feel comfort, and I really don’t always need an explanation.” He pulled out his phone, and started ordering them cheesesteak subs and fries from a nearby place. “You don’t mind? Good-- its free real estate then,” he chuckled at himself, “I’m glad you told me the stuff about your family.” The sensitive side of Luke always surfaced while he drank and smoked, “I think I get you a little more. I’m sure I’ll piss you off again, but at least you know you totally come fight me and you won’t hurt me too much-- weakling--” He winked in tease. “I ordered us food.”

“You say that noooow,” Noah drawlled “but in 6 months when me and my dog are always here, wrapped around you like spaghetti noodles, I have a feeling you’re gonna regret it.” He grinned at the other boy. It was reassuring to know that Luke would do that for him, even if part of Noah knew he probably would hesitate before seriously taking him up on it. Or maybe he wouldn’t. He was here after all, already settled in a comfortable and weed induced pretzel. Nodding along gently to the other Noah settled back further into the couch pulling lucas’s legs into a little bit more comfortable position. “Oh yea Catch me a couple days before a full moon asshole and we’ll see who's weakling” Noah started with a playful huff flicking the other man’s leg with a grin. It was safe to say Noah had really missed this kind of close brotherly ‘I’m gonna love you but first I’m going to threaten to hurt you’ vibe he’d had with his football team, as well as his own brother. “Good.” Noah’s ears perked up at the mention of food “I was about to die of absolute starvation. What did you get us?”

“Cheesesteaks, fries, and brownies,” Lucas snorted in amusement, for whatever reason that was funny to him, and tossed his phone on the coffee table rougher than he should have. “I’d take you on--” Luke challenged, but with his dopey grin and relaxed body it really wasn’t threatening. His mind wandered easily while he was high, and he couldn’t help but find himself happy right now. Just staring at Noah, and finding it just so damn nice. He’s almost had everyone over now, a few more people in his life needed to come over. This place-- he refused to let it be touched by Gotch, or anything negative. Even with the ghost attached to his soul, feeding on what was so easily bright and happy in a world that played him bad hands. He rolled up in an impressive crunch and grabbed Noah into a wrestling hold, kicking the pillows everywhere, even the cushions. He laughed loud, comfortable-- happy.

“Nicceeeeeee” Noah breathed out with a happy grin, easing into his mellow. Yelping slightly as the other boy grabbed him though Noah couldn’t help but feel this surge of belonging, even as the cushions went flying, and laughter filled the room. They hadn’t known each other for long but yet wrestling with Luke on the couch just felt so normal, and so right. While they didn’t always see eye to eye Luke was becoming a brother figure he hadn’t had in a long time, and Noah wouldn’t trade it for the world.

#x: noah #x: sense of touch #drug use tw

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jetsetlife138 · 5 years ago

Text

Lofty Cries With Trembling Thighs

This is my submission for @youngmoneymilla Eliza’s 5K Challenge (Which turned out to be 15K - Oops)

Song for Inspiration was Purity Ring by Lofticries

Summary: After Loki’s attack on New York, the mischievous god takes you hostage and you find yourself in a very compromising situation. No one said being Tony Stark’s sister was going to be easy.

Paring: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Smut, Language, Stockholm Syndrome, Attempted Sexual Assault, Sex Under A Spell

Loki took an apprehensive glance around his familiar surroundings. Not so long ago he was held captive in the same type of cage made of impenetrable glass and iron. The god smirked to himself as the memory of his elder brother's helpless face entered his mind as he vindictively pushed the button that dropped the cage from the aircraft, which at the time held only his brother. He had left Thor to fall to his doom… or so Loki had hoped he would.

S.H.I.E.L.D. promptly rectified their previous mistakes and created a new, similarly built holding cell so that this time there was no chance of escaping as he was once again be held here against his will in their flying headquarters. Loki admitted to himself that he was genuinely surprised that they would detain him here considering how he had so easily escaped the last time with the help of his cohorts.

Loki released an exasperated sigh of frustration. His plans had been so quickly ruined. Midgard domination was so close that he could taste it. Something that seemed so easily attainable was no longer in his grasp. Or was it? Oh no, this was a major setback, of course, but by no means did it mean that he would lie down like a dog and accept their retribution. He would not allow himself to be dragged back to Asgard, humiliated in front of the subjects that he once lived among as a prince, only to become their inferior. Little did S.H.I.E.L.D. know that the worst thing they could have done was left Loki alone to his thoughts, for he had already begun to plan his next attempt to rule at any cost.

---------------------

"Stark! For the last time, that is property of S.H.I.E.L.D. and you do not have clearance to touch that!" bellowed Fury, clearly losing his patience with the billionaire, playboy philanthropist also known as Iron Man.

"Relax, I'm giving your outdated equipment a much needed upgrade. Are you aware that your missile reactor has cross-wired with your sub particle beam?" Tony asked airily. He looked expectantly at Fury for a reply.

Fury narrowed his good eye at him before responding. "I'll have someone look into that, but for now I need you to meet for the debriefing of the attack on New York.”

"Okay, fine," Stark replied sardonically. "But if this ship disintegrates when you apply the sub particle beam to the interlock core, I will not hesitate to trip you to be the first to escape."

Fury fought back an eye role. "Duly noted. Now, please sit down, Stark."

Stark saluted Fury mockingly before taking a seat among the other remaining Avengers. Exhaustion and exhilaration was thick in the air from their triumph of defeating an entire galactic army from taking over the world.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. is working on damage control around Manhattan. We will take care of all the publicity surrounding this as well. The Council disagrees with my decision to leave the fate of Loki to you, but clearly I don't give a damn," Fury stated bluntly. "We have enough to worry about without the god of mischief still around headquarters. Do any of you have any ideas on how you will handle this situation?"

Thor was the first to speak. "It is of no question. Loki will return home to Asgard to await judgment. It is clear that Earth is not capable of detaining a god. He will accompany me when I travel back."

No one bothered to argue. It was an unspoken relief that Loki would no longer remain on Earth where the possibility of escape was easier than it would be on Asgard.

"Does anyone disagree with that?" Fury looked around at everyone's tired faces knowing that no one would oppose. "Then it's settled, Loki will return with you."

"When will that be exactly?" asked Steve, still in his dirty and torn Captain America suit.

"As soon as possible,” Thor replied. “With the Tesseract it will be a quick ascension into Asgard."

Fury rubbed his eye frustratingly with his hand. "The Council is not going to like that you are taking the Tesseract, so let's just keep our mouths shut about it until you're gone, got it?" Thor nodded in response. "The Cube is being held in Level 4 under Selvig's surveillance. I will see what I can do to clear it for removal. Until then, the rest of you get cleaned up; you're a mess. Refer to Level 2 for medical treatment."

Before Fury exited, a thought occurred to him. "Thor, you may want to take a team and get your brother some medical treatment as well. I'm not saying that watching him bleed to death would be tragic," Thor gave him a hardened look filled with warning, "but if you want him to return to your realm alive, he will need medical attention."

With that, everyone took their leave - Fury to Level 4, Thor to the detainment level, and the rest of the Avengers to Level 2.

"Clearly this is not going to work," you grumbled in frustration. "Dr. Banner, you cannot lose your temper with me. I know you don't like it, but if you want me to close that gash, you're going to need to stay calm and stop arguing with me. I kid you not, if you even start to turn green I will feel no guilt when I plunge this needle in your neck to knock you out!" Of course you were lying. you would feel guilty and you knew that if Dr. Banner started to transform they would all be in serious danger to the point where a simple needle of anesthesia would do nothing.

"I'm not arguing with you. I'm just trying to tell you that it will heal on its own. Stitches are not necessary and they won't last." Dr. Banner had to be the most patient man you had ever met, unlike you who had run out of patience hours ago after treating what seemed like endless patients from the attack on New York.

"Fine, Bruce. Then get out of my chair and let me do my job for people who really need it." Your tone was playful, but you were truly exasperated. Bruce was familiar with your way of bossing people around when you felt overwhelmed, so he didn’t take it to heart.

He chuckled as he lifted himself from the chair and his spot was quickly replaced by your brother, Tony Stark. "How are you holding up?" he asked, concerned, knowing you were working diligently so that you could quickly get to everyone you needed to.

Dismissing his concern, you replied, "My dear brother, your humanity is showing. Quick, cover it up before anyone sees!"

"I'm serious," he insisted, though the corners of his mouth lifted slightly into a grin. "I know you've been working around the clock and I don't like-"

"So have you, Tony,” you interrupted. “I'm not the one who risked my life out in the streets of Manhattan to protect the world from impending doom. Though, if we're being honest, I think you're getting old. You were really slacking out there. It took you longer than an hour to solve the problem. That’s not like you," you teased. You two were too much alike. It was a treat for others to see someone give Tony a taste of his own medicine.

"Just shut up and stitch me up, you irritating-OW!" he cried as you stuck him with a numbing needle.

You smiled menacingly with a facetious tone. "Oops, sorry, Tony!"

He mumbled insults under his breath until you had finished. Once you and your medical team had completed your work on Tony, Natasha, and Clint, you sat down and never wanted to get up again. It had been non-stop patients for the past couple of days. "Is there anyone else that needs to be seen before I pass out?" you called out, hoping that you finally had time to rest.

"Just one if you do not mind." Thor spoke from the doorway. "It seems that my brother needs medical assistance."

He entered the room with a team of S.H.I.E.L.D. soldiers surrounding the wounded god. You had seen him on the news and information screens throughout headquarters, but had yet to stand in his presence. He was clearly exhausted and refused to meet your gaze, instead searching around the room with his piercing green eyes. His hair hung in a mess loosely around his face and his clothes were torn and bloodstained.

Distracted by your distaste for the Norse god, you hadn't realized that you had not given Thor an answer. "Miss Stark?" Thor urged to gain your attention. Instead, the attention he had received was from his brother as he snapped his head up with interest.

" Miss Stark?" Loki questioned with an acidic tone. His eyes then met yours with a challenging stare, freezing you in place. He smiled wickedly, an idea quickly forming in his head before speaking, "What a privilege it is to meet you, Miss Stark."

Refraining from responding with sarcasm, you had instead nodded at Thor, and motioned for Loki to sit so that you could exam him. His gaze seemed to penetrate your soul as he studied you. In his opinion, you had somewhat of a dull appearance. Your facial structure resembled that of your brothers, though you appeared to be much younger. You had hair that was lifted into a binding contraption to be kept up out of your face in an unkempt manner. Your eyes were slightly red from exhaustion and you leered at him with loathing, a look that he was quite used to.

He was also attuned to the fact that there was also a slight hint of curiosity in your eyes as your gaze held his. It seemed as though you were searching for something in his harsh features. Not that you would find anything. Loki was quite talented at keeping his emotions and facial expressions limited. He was the god of mischief after all. What fun would it be if he so easily displayed his true feelings?

You felt uneasy as the god sat for his examination. He didn’t frighten you per se, but you could not deny that he intrigued you. There were so many questions that you wanted to ask, and yet you could hardly stand to look at him, let alone listen to him speak. He was the reason your home was destroyed. He was the cause of the hundreds of deaths in the past several days. You had never met him before now, but already you detested him. Regardless, your opinion of him did not stop you from doing your job, as much as you secretly wanted to refuse his need for medical attention.

Thor stood awkwardly in the doorway watching his brother intently. "I am needed on Level 4. If you are alright, I will take my leave until he is able to return to the detainment facility." You simply nodded your head in agreement, focused on the task at hand.

Loki watched with interest as you scribbled notes onto a clipboard and then proceeded to snap white rubber gloves onto your hands. He could not deny that though he found the human race to be repulsive and unworthy of existence, their ways of living were fascinating to observe. It was like watching ants in a colony. Everyone played their part as they were trained, but their lives were unnecessary and could easily be eradicated with a little force.

His cruel thoughts abruptly ceased when you approached him and without warning placed both of your hands on the side of his face, inspecting his wounds. He instinctively flinched away from your touch, for he was not used to such close interaction with humans. For a brief moment your eyes met, causing a stir within you, and you looked away quickly, which elicited a smirk from the god.

You walked around the room gathering items that you needed to clean and close the wounds. It was difficult with all of the security in the way and you were beginning to feel claustrophobic. "Okay!" you finally snapped. "I need you guys to get out! Please, I cannot work this way! For the love of god, just wait outside!"

One of the soldiers immediately protested, "Ma'am, we do not have clearance to leave the fugitive alone. He needs to be under 24 hour surveillance."

Huffing in response, you replied, "He’s not going to be alone. I will be here. He is restrained and I'm not saying you have to go all the way to the other side of the ship - just outside of the room. You can keep an eye on him right from the door. I am not joking when I say that one of you is going to get stabbed or sliced with one of these tools if you don't clear out!" It wasn’t normal for you to lose your temper so easily, but you were overworked and hadn't slept in the past two days. The cramped quarters were getting to you, and it didn’t help that the source of all of the slaughter was sitting right next to you.

They exchanged glances with one another, finally agreeing to step outside so long as they could see Loki clearly from the glass, which wasn’t an issue with the large windows lining the walls of the room. You could finally breathe once they filed out, giving you the space you needed to work.

Loki remained seated, silently observing his human healer. His eyes widened in surprise as you approached him with a steaming wet cloth and brushed it over his face without any explanation to your actions. "What do you think you’re doing?" he snapped, bemused and irritated.

"I can't tend to your wounds with your face being this dirty. It needs to be cleaned," you replied as you once again swept the cloth over his face.

He noted that you were not being rough with him as others had been. You had a stern, almost angry expression on your face, but you washed his face carefully. "You have a gentle touch, Miss Stark," he remarked placidly.

Confidently, you replied, "You won't be saying that when I'm sticking needles into you." Loki laughed aloud, taken aback and amused by your comment.

After a few more moments of cleansing him, Loki decided to do what he does best, and attempt to get a rise out of you. "So," he began suggestively. "Tell me, Miss Stark-"

"Y/N. Just call me Y/N," you interrupted, pulling the stitching material out of a drawer.

"Very well then," he continued with another wicked smile. "Tell me, Y/N , what is it like living in the shadow of your brother, the genius?"

Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you replied sarcastically, "It's rather cold, actually. I never get to see any sun."

The god chuckled at your quick-witted response. He was beginning to find you to be quite amusing. "I would imagine so. He certainly has everything one should desire to obtain in this life. Wealth, admiration from your kind, power, love…" he trailed off, raising his eyebrows at you, pushing for a response.

Unfazed, you didn’t bother to meet his expectant gaze. Instead, you were focused on the cut on the bridge of his nose as you applied the numbing cream to prepare for stitching. "Yes, my brother is quite the lucky man," you replied flippantly, brushing him off.

You had a close relationship with your brother, but there was no jealousy between the two of you. The things that were important to Tony weren’t important to you. You didn’t really desire wealth, or admiration, or power, or even love for that matter. You found solace in doing your job and living freely without any restrictions.

Foolishly, you thought it would be a good idea to antagonize him further. "You're one to talk, Loki. You should know better than anyone what it's like to live under a shadow," you commented smugly. You knew all about his vendetta against his brother from what the others had told you. "Thor is much bigger than my brother, so I would imagine it’s got to be a much bigger shadow than the one that I’ve supposedly been under."

"Mind your tongue, girl," he snapped. The rage building in his eyes was apparent and frightening as you stared into them. "You know nothing."

"I know enough to understand what kind of man… correction, monster you are, Loki. Don't presume to think you know anything about my life. I have no interest in casual conversation with you. I'm here to do my job, so please, don't make this any more difficult than you already have."

Loki would not stand for being talked down to and he was not about to let her speak to him with such arrogance. "Do not treat me like a child.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling at his wording. "What about this conversation do you find to be humorous?" he asked, annoyed at your nerve.

Still laughing, you answered, "All of it." You noted his puzzled expression as you began stitching his nose, admittedly impressed at his pain tolerance. He did not even flinch as you stitched. Though you should have known, seeing as it would take something equivalent to the Hulk to make him feel pain. "It's just amusing how much power you think you have over people while you're sitting here, restrained and waiting to go back to Asgard with your tail between your legs. You have no power over anyone anymore, so excuse me while I find amusement in your berating."

Loki was stunned; completely speechless, not from surprise, but from complete rage. How dare you. His fists were clenched so tightly he had lost feeling in them. His lip quivered involuntarily as he fought back harsh, cruel words in order to maintain his facade. Oh, you would pay for your insolence, but it would be slow, deliberate, and so painful that you would be down on your knees begging for death, and only after you had pleaded enough and suffered to his liking, would he grant you your wish in the most excruciating way possible.

His lack of a comeback both astounded and unnerved you, though you would never admit it. You couldn't help but briefly wonder what thoughts were cascading through his mind. You had immediately regretted your taunt as soon as you had said it. The worst thing you can do with a psychopath is put yourself on their radar, and you may have just accomplished that.

You had just snipped off the remaining stitching material, finishing your work. "Your words are your best defense, aren't they?" you asked, truly curious about his answer.

"No. Though a worthy and entertaining defense, it is not my best."

"Do I dare ask what your best defense is?" you asked as you began putting away your tools.

" This is my best defense," he whispered directly into your ear, making you jump. It happened in a matter of seconds. You turned your attention towards Loki who had somehow escaped his restraints and stood directly in front of you. You leapt backwards in surprise, not noticing the other Loki behind you, still sitting on the examination chair. While the other Loki distracted you, the real Loki had somehow frozen his chains that were binding him, making it easy for him to break through them with his godly strength.

The moment the double Loki appeared, security had rushed into the room, but Loki was too quick for them. As they had their eyes set on the double next to you, the actual Loki had approached you from behind placing one forceful arm around your neck and the other around your arms, locking you in an iron grasp.

"Surrender now or we will shoot!" one of the soldiers yelled while the others took aim at both gods. Too stunned to fight, you found yourself gasping for air due to his too tight grip around your neck.

"Now," Loki whispered threateningly into your ear. "Humor me, Y/N. Remind me of how powerless I really am."

You had no response as panic started to take hold of you. Loki’s cold, green eyes darted from the soldiers pointing their guns directly at him to the woman he was tightly gripping in his arms. A cunning smile was plastered across his face at the feeling of being in control once again. His double had dissolved into the air, so there was no longer any confusion as to which of the two Loki's was the real one.

"I said, stand down or we will not hesitate to shoot!" the soldier called out once more.

"Give it your best attempt, I urge you," Loki replied calmly. He knew that they would not attack while he held the sister of Tony Stark.

Loki leaned in to whisper in your ear once more, making you shiver. "You see, power is not difficult to acquire. You simply need to know when and where to make your move." Anxious to make you suffer, he grabbed your arms even tighter knowing how easily humans bruised. "I ask you, do you now find me threatening?"

"Take your hands off of me," you hissed in retaliation, fighting the urge to cry out from the ache in your arms. To your dismay, you felt the unsteadiness in your voice betraying your effort to sound brave.

He laughed darkly at your feeble demand. "I would love for you to make me."

"Loki, do we really have to do this again?" asked a familiar voice from the doorway. Loki's attention snapped from you to the man layered in shades of red, white and blue.

"Your ability to sense trouble never ceases to amaze me, Captain Rogers. Do tell me how you easily seem to make an appearance when trouble arises."

"Threats are everywhere, all the time. You just have to know where to look," Steve remarked casually.

A slight jab on the top of his foot distracted Loki for a brief moment. He smiled when he realized what it was. "Did you honestly presume that stomping on my boot would cause me enough pain to release you?" he asked you, highly amused.

Your lack of response confirmed his suspicions. He chuckled before addressing you, "You're going to have to try a lot harder than that. I am a god , you ignorant dullard. I am practically invincible to you pathetic mortals, and you think you can escape my grasp with a weak attack of your heel? Pitiful," he finished with a sneer.

You knew that it was a useless attempt, but you were far from ignorant. What Loki did not consider was that you had no intention of hurting him - but to instead distract him, which you had successfully accomplished.

As Loki scoffed at your endeavor, Steve motioned for one of the other soldiers to leave for backup, hoping it would go unnoticed by the god so that he would be caught off guard.

Once Loki's attention was turned back to the soldiers, Steve urged him once more to surrender, which went quickly dismissed by the god. "Haven't you learned anything by now?" Loki asked angrily. "I will surrender to no one. I am not one who easily falters. I refuse to lie down and be driven into the ground by such a low race of beings. You will be under my rule and I will be king of this world. You do not have the means to contain me forever. There is not a single doubt that dwells in my mind that you shall all fall to my glory, beginning with this wretched excuse for a life in my grasp," he spat as his gaze fell on you.

"You can go to hell," you retaliated against him, though still in immense pain from his grip.

He pressed his face against you so that you could feel his smile against your cheek as he whispered, "What you fail to realize, Y/N, is that I have already been there. You know nothing of hell, but I promise you this…," he murmured as he leaned in impossibly closer to you. "You will."

You hadn’t considered Loki's presence to be truly terrifying until that moment. With those words your blood seemed to turn cold as your breath became shallow and hitched as you remained stiff against his body. He was pleased as he took notice of your fear and laughed silently to himself.

Glancing towards the soldiers, you had wondered if they had heard Loki's cruel words, but by the confused and intrigued face of Captain Rogers, they had not.

Pleased with the desperate expression on their faces, Loki slowly removed his hand and brought you closer to him. Groaning in refusal, you tried to lean away, but you were no match for his strength. He wanted to get a rise out of Captain Rogers and in doing so, he slowly bent down to gently place his lips on your neck, kissing it softly, eyes never leaving the Captain’s enraged face.

Upon feeling the god's lips on your neck, you ripped away, revolted. He pulled you back abruptly, laughing wickedly. "Your courage is short-lived, mortal. Tell me, do you fear death?"

Ignoring him completely, you were too focused on Captain Roger’s bemused expression, which wasn’t what you were expecting. It was as if he was not even looking at you or Loki, but past you both through the window. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t dare glance behind you in fear that you would give away whatever it was that caught his attention.

Unfortunately, Loki had a keen sense and was very aware of his surroundings, immediately taking notice that he no longer held the attention of the group of soldiers. Intrigued, he took a moment to turn around to observe what the others had been so captivated by.

He did not even get the chance to fully face the direction of the distraction. A sudden large blow to his head caused him to release you from his grip. A blunt object had shattered through the glass behind him, pushing him with such force that he fell through the hard walls of the room. Irritated, he pulled himself out of the debris and brushed off his clothing as he faced his assailant.

Iron Man stood before him, guns blazing with Captain America by his side, his own shield raised in defense. Loki tightened his lips together in displeasure as his eyes wandered past them to observe you, quickly being pulled to safety and guarded by the other soldiers.

"I was beginning to think you would fail to make an appearance, Stark," Loki huffed.

"I wouldn't miss an opportunity to battle with the Rock of Ages," Stark sneered, trying to cover his anger with humor.

"By all means," Loki smiled, attempting to provoke him into action, "Enlighten me with your combat expertise."

"I plan to," Stark stated simply, signalling for the other soldiers to remove you from the room.

Loki watched intently as his eyes followed the soldier escorting you out into the hallway. He was nowhere near finished with you yet and would surely see you again soon. It was his new mission.

The moment the two of you had left the room, Loki was blasted back into the wall by an explosive to his chest. He growled with vexation as he once again crawled from the debris. With a sly smirk, he quickly multiplied himself into at least twenty different Loki's scattered all over the room, laughing menacingly. Steve seemed to be fighting empty air as he punched through them, searching for the real Loki.

Stark turned on his heat sensor to scan the room to find the real Loki. Before it was complete he was assaulted from the back of his head, causing his suit to spark from the impact. He quickly turned for a counter attack, but never got the chance. Following his attack on Stark, Loki was cursing and squirming for he had been apprehended and was being held tight within Thor's arms.

"Release me, you ignorant brute!" Loki bellowed, seething in his grasp.

It hardly seemed to be a struggle for Thor to keep Loki locked within his iron grip. "Be reasonable, brother. This is for your own good as well as everyone on this ship."

"You do not actually believe that, do you?" Loki argued against Thor, still trying to separate himself from him. "We are gods ! I should not be treated so lowly! These humans think that they can contain me with their contraptions? They will soon learn otherwise!"

"Take him back to the holding cell," Steve demanded. "We'll maintain the twenty-four hour surveillance to watch over him in case he tries anything else.

Thor held Loki in position while one of the soldiers bound his wrists in chains. Loki sighed in irritation as he refrained from struggling any longer.

He allowed Thor and a team of soldiers to escort him back to the cell he had come to know so well. On the walk back to his prison, his eyes wandered to a room where you were being inspected by the rest of the medical team to ensure you weren’t compromised. When your eyes met Loki's he gave you a wide, wicked smile before he winked, providing an unspoken promise as he passed the room and continued to his holding cell.

---------------------

Hours later, much to his annoyance, Loki’s cell was surrounded by the Avengers. He eyed his visitors, pleased at their frustrated, brooding gazes. "What have I done that deserves such an audience?" he asked with false innocence.

Fury stepped forward with a stern gaze. His posture was noticeably stiff as he spoke. "Your attempt to kidnap a civilian was a futile attempt to escape. I cannot begin to wonder what goes on in that head of yours, but did you really think that your plan would work?"

Loki tilted his head back and barked a low, vigorous laugh. "That was not an attempt to kidnap one of your kind. My gesture was a simple greeting and a promise."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" asked Fury, suspicion evident in his voice. Loki's lips peeled back from his teeth to reveal a sinful smile for a response.

Tony, still in his Iron Man suit, less the helmet, walked toward the glass that was imprisoning Loki. "And now I have a promise for you; If you even so much as think about laying your hands on my family again, I'll kill you. That’s a promise that I intend to keep." His face was livid, his upper lip curling in loathing at the god.

Steve and Natasha gave Stark a look of warning in response to his provocation, which he either didn’t notice, or blatantly ignored due to being too focused on Loki.

"Such a temper, Mr. Stark." He paused for effect and also to relish in Tony's look of frustration. "I have plans for the rest of you, but for her… she will suffer in ways that you cannot even imagine; not even in your worst nightmares."

Tony punched the glass with the suit, causing the entire cage to shake, compromising its hold. Steve and Clint grabbed Tony to drag him from the room as he shouted profanities, which were drowned out by Loki's maniacal laughter.

Once Tony was out of earshot, Fury turned towards Loki tiredly. "I do not have the patience to sift through your head of craziness to find out what you’re really up to right now, but we have a lot of time. Get comfortable, because you're going to be in here for a long time." He slowly walked out of the room, followed by Natasha and Bruce, leaving Thor alone with his brother.

"Have you no remorse, brother?" Thor asked heatedly with an underlying sadness.

Loki sneered with annoyance. "I have little remorse for those who are so far beneath me."

"You think yourself above them?"

"Well, yes," he replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "I assumed that much was clear."

Thor took a moment to contemplate before asking, "Do you think yourself above me ?"

"I do," Loki simply stated. "You are arrogant, you are reckless, and you do not have what it takes to be a King."

"Tell me, Loki. What are the qualities a true King should possess?" Thor questioned, his anger becoming more apparent. "Is it greed? Selfishness? Pride? If those are indeed the requirements for a King than you truly are well on your way."

"Do not criticize me," Loki warned. "It takes power, insight, strength, knowing your place, and understanding the role of those beneath you."

"You are so blinded by your own jealousy that you cannot see the truth!" Thor shouted, masking his heartache with rage. "Loki, this is madness!"

"Is it madness?" Loki snarled, his lip quivering with rage. "You can keep me locked in this mortal-made contraption as long as you see fit, but you know as well as I do that it will not keep me. The Tesseract may have the power to return us to Asgard, but for how long? I will rule this realm and there is nothing that you, nor any other being can do to stop it. It has been written in the stars, and I will do what I must to ensure my rightful place on the throne." His voice had become a growl and his body shook with fury as he slowly approached the glass in front of Thor.

"You wish to know if I have remorse? You will soon discover how little remorse I have, brother," he spat at the last word. "Now, remove yourself from my presence," he demanded as he turned away from Thor, indicating that the conversation was finished.

Thor sighed, his heart filled with grief. "I shall not give up hope for you. I believe that one day you will come to your senses and willingly reclaim your place amongst us in Asgard - your home."

"Leave me!" Loki demanded, still turned from his brother.

He waited a moment before he heard Thor's heavy footsteps leaving the room, shutting the large door behind him without another word.

It was not long before he heard the door open once more, softer footsteps approaching his cage. "I will not say it again!" he shouted angrily. "I am in no mood for your lecture!"

"I didn't come here to lecture you," replied a smooth, calm voice.

Loki whipped around, surprised to see you standing alone before him. He eyed you carefully before speaking. "What has possessed you to speak with me if not to lecture me?"

"I'm a curious person. I have questions," you answered simply.

"And you presumed that I would hand them over to you without any fuss?" he asked in return.

A slight smile graced the corners of your mouth. "No, which is why I thought I would use my charm and wit to obtain them."

"You're as arrogant as your brother," Loki scoffed, meaning to sound harsh but instead came across as amused.

"And you're selfish, unlike your brother," you pointed out flippantly.

Loki fought the urge to roll his eyes. Instead he held your gaze patiently, waiting for you to avert your gaze in discomfort at the intense eye contact. When you didn't, he stepped closer to you, curiosity overcoming his psychological tactics. Breaking his focus, his eyes fell to the bandage wrapped around your wrist that he had apparently injured when he held you. You took notice and lifted it up to give him a better view. "You didn't break it," you began. "It’s just a sprain."

"I know," he plainly stated.

"You know?"

He nodded.

"What was the point? It hurt like hell, but you’re back to where you started, so I really don’t see how hurting me did you any favors," you stipulated.

Growing bored of the discussion, he quickly changed the subject. "You spoke of questions you sought answers to. Do not waste my time any further. Ask them," he demanded.

You were slightly taken aback by his somewhat compliant demeanor, but didn’t dwell on it too long. "Why didn't you kill me? You could have done so easily. Why didn't you?"

Loki huffed, already irritated with you. "Was it not obvious? I needed you as leverage to escape."

Still watching him carefully, you took a moment before replying. "Liar."

"Take care how you speak, girl," he warned.

Stepping closer towards the glass imprisoning him, you continued, "If you were so intent on escaping you could have done so much more easily than hiding behind me like a coward."

"I am no coward!" he bellowed, coming forward, rage evident in his piercing green eyes. "I am a god, and I fear nothing ! Especially fragile, pathetic mortals."

Swallowing thickly, you felt uneasy, but stood your ground. "Why is power so important to you?"

He growled and began pacing around his cell trying desperately to maintain his sanity. "You need to leave," he snapped.

"You haven't answered any of my questions," you protested, not at all happy with how abruptly the conversation came to an end.

To your surprise, he then threw himself against the glass, fuming. "You damn fool! I did not kill you because that would be too easy and too quick! Your lack of respect for me is insufferable and you shall pay for your insolence!"

The grin you had on your face fell the more he spoke, true terror arising within you. "It will be my dearest pleasure - my sincerest delight to make you suffer. I crave to see the look in your eyes as I am ripping the skin from your bones, you intolerable quim. That is why I did not kill you!"

He relished in your frightened expression as you stepped back from the glass, the shock of the situation evident in your movements. "As for power, I do not seek it, I deserve it," he hissed. "I was born to be a King, and with that comes power. I am burdened with glorious purpose, something that you will never understand." When he was finished, he was breathless, panting due to his emotional outburst.

Still taken aback by his violent and threatening words, you prodded your cheek with your tongue in thought. Just like your brother, you were nothing if not persistent, and though you feared for your life, you were not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. "Well," you spoke airily before turning around to walk out of the room, "I'm sure that in the end you'll get everything you deserve, Loki."

He knew the true meaning behind your words as you exited, but said nothing. He quickly grew tired of this game and needed to put his plan into action. It was time for him to break free of this absurd cage and begin his new life as King of Midgard.

Once finally back in your suite, you didn't waste any time in heading for your shower, turning on the hot water, undressing and stepping in. You exhaled a sigh of relief as the steaming water engulfed you, finally able to wash away all of the grime, blood, and dirt that had gathered on you over the past couple of days.

As you cleansed yourself, you heard someone calling your name distantly. Irritated by the interruption, you stuck your head outside of the shower to answer. "I'm in here! What do you need?" you called out.

No response.

Shrugging your shoulders, you continued with your shower. Not even a minute later, you heard your name again. The voice was low and soft, sounding close by. Once again you shouted out, "Yes? I'm in the bathroom. Who's there?"

Once again, there was no response.

Huffing impatiently, you quickly rinsed so you could find out what was going on. You stepped out of the shower carefully into the steamy room, wrapping a towel around yourself. Walking past the mirror, you noticed something odd in the foggy reflection. Pausing for a moment, you wiped away the steamy layer covering it. Staring at your reflection, you froze in shock. Red liquid was falling from your eyes in small droplets, leaving trails of scarlet down your face. Hesitantly, you touched your fingertips to your cheek and pulled them away to view the liquid substance that you now understood was blood. There was no denying it; you worked around it every day.

Beginning to panic, your breath quickened as your heartbeat thrummed faster while you looked from the blood on your fingers to the streaks on your face, all the while more blood was falling from your eyes.

Hyperventilating, you turned to grab some tissues to dab them on your face to wipe away the blood, but when you inspected the tissue, there was no blood.

Glancing back to the mirror, your sanity came into question as you realized that you were no longer crying blood. Stunned, you blinked your eyes several times to make sure that everything was alright. Clearly you had become deranged from lack of sleep and mental exhaustion.

During your panic, you heard a familiar chilling laugh echoing softly throughout the bathroom. Whipping around to investigate, you tried to determine where it was coming from, but saw no one. That's when it occurred to you what had just happened.

Outraged, you hastily clothed yourself with a tank top and shorts before stomping your way out of your room and across the ship to the containment facility holding the mischievous god.

Bursting through the doors and fuming with annoyance, you addressed him bitterly. "What the hell kind of game do you think you're playing?" you questioned furiously.

He smiled crookedly before replying in a mocking tone, "Do I look to be in a gaming mood?"

"How dare you!" you roared, your loud voice bouncing off of the walls in the large room. "How the hell did you even do that? Your powers are supposed to be contained in there! And what was the point? What, you think by messing with me I’m going to race in here and just let you out? You’re not as crafty as you think, Loki! You’re not Shawshaking your way out of there."

"I am unfamiliar with your references," he replied, eyes boring into yours. "But you should not have made the mistake of underestimating me."

"What is it that you want from me?" you asked, your rage quickly diminishing into exasperation. "Why do you find the need to keep torturing everyone around you?"

"Your torture has only begun," he promised as he seethed from behind the glass.

"Stay the hell away from me, Loki."

"I plan to do the exact opposite, Miss Stark," he replied with an acidic tone.

Preparing a snappy retort, you opened your mouth to respond, but before the words even left your mouth the room went dark. It was pitch black around you, and you couldn't even see an inch in front of your face. A loud bang rang through the room and the floor beneath you started to shake. You quickly turned to try and run to find your way back to the door, but you were violently grabbed from behind. Before you could try to scream your mouth was aggressively covered by a rough, cold hand. The chilling sound of Loki's low voice started to whisper words into your ear that you couldn’t even begin to decipher. It took a moment for you to realize that he was speaking in another language. Moments later, your mind went hazy and your consciousness started to slip away as you unwillingly drifted off into a deep sleep.

The involuntary shivering of your body is what woke you. Scrunching your forehead and eyes fluttering open, you fought to regain clarity as your mind recollected what had happened before you passed out. Forcing yourself to sit up, you groaned aloud in protest of the soreness of your body. When your vision cleared, you outwardly gasped at your surroundings.

You were lying on a king-sized bed with a canopy overhead, so comfortable that you almost didn’t want to get up. Looking around, you noticed that you were surrounded by regal decour in a large room. There was a fireplace on the wall opposite you with fancy, velvety couches in the middle of the room, facing each other with a small table in between. Vintage damask green and gold designs lining the walls with a golden trim along the dark, plush carpet. What held your attention most of all was the fact that there were no windows or doors of any kind - only solid walls.

A shiver ran through you again, causing you to instinctively wrap your arms around your shuddering form to try to retain some warmth. Where were you and how the hell could you have gotten here?

"Hello?" you croaked out due to your dry throat.

No answer.

Clearing your throat to evoke some volume, you screamed at the top of your desperate for someone to acknowledge your presence.

"There's no need to raise your voice to such a level," responded an intense, velvety voice.

Turning to your left in the corner of the room, you saw the mischievous god, sitting casually in a chair, legs crossed, watching you intently. "Loki!" you snapped, your chest tightening at your situation. "Where the hell did you take me?"

“I believe that I had promised to make you suffer, my dear. To break such a promise would undoubtedly prove to be imprudent, would it not?"

Still shaking, you forced yourself out of the bed and onto your feet, daringly stepping closer to your captor. "Tell me where we are, Loki," you demanded.

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly into an arrogant smirk, which irritated you. "Our current location is irrelevant, for you will be begging for death soon enough."

The malice in his voice was evident, which only encouraged you to be more aggressive. "You're even more insane than I thought."

He stood up then, his movement graceful and unnaturally fluid. Walking towards you in gentle strides, he seemed to glide towards you, his black and green robes flowing as he moved. When he reached you, you stood your ground, too upset to think clearly. His hand snapped forward, roughly wrenching your face closer to his, earning an involuntary groan of protest. You could already feel the bruises forming on your cheeks due to his fingers gripping you so tightly.

"Take care how you speak," he threatened dangerously as he relished at your exclamation of pain. "Allow me to make this perfectly clear; you are going to expire here, Miss Stark. I have brought you here to ensure your much-deserved anguish. Your outbursts and insults have been uncouth and not at all appropriate for your future King. I shall use you to set an example for all those who believe that there is hope. I intend to not only break your spirit, Y/N, but your earthly body as well. When I am finished with you, I will return your corpse to your dear brother so that he may see my good work. Do you understand me, mortal?"

The malevolence in his eyes as he spoke shook you to your core. His words were venomous and cut through you like daggers, and the weight of them prevented you from thinking of anything to say in response…

So you spat in his face.

He pushed you away with so much force that you fell backwards onto the floor, taking the opportunity to crawl back as far as you could to distance yourself while Loki made noises of disgust. You didn’t get very far since the large bed was right behind you.

"You foolish wretch! Where do you find the audacity?" he bellowed, wiping away your saliva from his face. "You're more trouble than you're worth," he complained as he picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder as if you were a rag doll.

You landed with a thud as he threw you onto one of the sofas in front of the fireplace. With a wave of his hand, you found your wrists and legs bound together in rope while a cloth forced its way around your head in front of your mouth, preventing you from speaking clearly.

You stared daggers at Loki, not missing the way he grinned as he inspected your, admiring his handiwork. Your protests and explicatives were muffled due to the cloth, and sadly uninterpretable.

Loki chuckled as he stood over you, extending his arm to brush back the hair that had fallen forward when he carried you. "I very much prefer you this way," he commented on your inability to speak.

The glare you gave him could have destroyed even the hulk if it had any power behind it. However, he wasn’t fazed in the slightest. "I am truly curious as to what you're attempting to say, dear Y/N. Please, enlighten me," he cooed deceptively, snapping his fingers.

Relief quickly turned to embarrassment as you released a quiet sob once the gag was removed. Loki's lips peeled back into a satisfied grin, making you want to slap it right off of him.

He moved closer to you, his posture stiff with his hands held behind his back in an elegant stance. "For one who seems unable to control her tongue, you seem to be at a loss for words," he teased slyly.

Instead of bellowing slurs like you had originally wanted, you simply laughed, causing Loki's forehead to crease with curiosity. "You know, Loki," you took a moment to pause while you released a frustrated sigh. "You think you're so superior to me and to humans in general, but if you would take a moment to consider it, we're not so different."

"Your theory is fascinating," he retorted with mock interest.

Not commenting further, you interpreted his intense gaze as an indication to continue. "It's evident that you're in search of something that you aren't getting in your realm, wherever the hell it is that you're from."

"Asga-... Jötunheimr," he nearly spat with distaste.

"Okay, fine," you continued. "Like a lot of humans, you seem to want the impossible. You may have powers and supernatural strength, agility, etcetera, but you're still a lost soul, trying to find your purpose in life."

Loki's eyes narrowed dangerously causing a chill to run through you, but you continued regardless. "Additionally, you, like many humans, are selfish, cruel, and ruthless. The only difference, is that even underneath all of that, most humans have an underlying sense of decency and goodness. You, on the other hand, will never be more than a conceited child - throwing fits and demanding attention. So, before you put yourself on a pedestal, recognize where you stand among every race of beings that you've encountered. You're hated by humans, gods, and from what I can tell, also by any other creature you have come across. You are no better than them. You're not superior to any of us."

Involuntarily, you found yourself cowering slightly as Loki’s expression went blank, slowly reaching for your face. Just as before, he painfully jabbed his thumb and finger into your cheeks as he brought your face closer to his own. His upper lip quivered with rage as he seethed at you. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke dangerously lowly. "I will show you just how different we are, Miss Stark."

Still holding your gaze with his own, your eyes widened when his emerald green orbs slowly started to change from the light color to a pool of red and black. Captivated by his eyes, you did not even notice his skin changing color as well into a frosty blue until he brought his other hand towards you to hold your throat tightly enough so that it was difficult to breathe, but not so harshly as to cut off air completely.

Regardless of his actions, you were awestruck by his appearance. He was unlike anything you’d ever seen. It was known that he wasn’t biologically Asgardian, but you had never pictured him to look this way. He looked menacing, sure, but there was also a mystifying factor and even a sense of beauty about him. It was strangely mesmerizing.

He quickly resorted back to his familiar coloring as he continued to clutch your throat tightly. "I easily grow tired of your senseless rants, mortal. Perhaps I should permanently resolve the issue," he said as he gave your throat an extra squeeze before viciously thrusting you back onto the couch, releasing his grip and standing over you once more.

Clutching your throat and coughing at the intrusion, you couldn’t contain your facial expression as you looked him over.

"Do not pity me," he snapped.

Surprised that he knew exactly what you were thinking, you replied, "You make it hard for me not to pity you, Loki. You have such misplaced rage and it’s just… it’s very sad.”

A surprise shriek escaped you when he unexpectedly wrenched you from the couch. One of Loki's hands gripped the hair at the back of your head tightly and the other was positioned around your waist, pressing you close to his form. "Let go of me," you grunted as you pushed against his chest.

He was like a solid rock against your attempts to create some space. You shivered as his raspy voice came close to your ear. "One way or another, you, you will show me respect. Even if I have to rip it out of you as death envelopes you, I will have it. It would suit you well to accept that now rather than later."

Before you had a chance to respond he dropped you to the floor. You released a painful grunt as you hit the ground hard, eliciting a frustrated sigh from the god. "Your incessant mewling is pathetic and I can no longer tolerate it."

"Oh, excuse me for not handling being kidnapped and thrown around like a champ," you snapped, earning yourself an exasperated eye roll from Loki as he bent over to effortlessly pick you up, uncharacteristically being more gentle than he had previously as he carried you in his arms and tossed you onto the bed.

“I must take my leave,” he mumbled, turning away from you.

“What?!” you all but shrieked. “You can’t just leave me here! For fuck’s sake, what do you want with me?”

“All in good time, Miss Stark,” he promised with a wink.

With your hands and feet still bound, he left you to your thoughts as he snapped his fingers and faded into nothing.

---------------------

Heimdall could watch no more. He turned his gaze away from Loki, stricken by his actions.

"Good Heimdall, what troubles you?" asked a soft, regal voice.

"My Queen, I fear that I have only remorseful news to bring you."

Frigga placed her hand upon Heimdall's large shoulder and looked kindly into his eyes. "Tell me, Heimdall."

With his alert eyes meeting Frigga’s expectant blue ones, he responded as thoughtfully as possible. "It is Loki, my Queen. He is unyielding in his search for power and his scheming knows no end. I do not yet know of his plans, but he is adamant on supremacy and revenge. He has recently taken upon himself to indulge in the captivity and torture of humans, one in particular."

The Queen’s eyes were tired and filled with grief. "Heimdall, I believe it may be time to take matters into my own hands."

"If I may be so bold, what is it you plan to do?"

Frigga stepped to the edge of the rainbow bridge where the Bifrost once stood and looked upon the endless galaxy before her, taking a moment of reflection before her reply. "I will provide Loki with what he has craved for so long… love and adoration from humans." She turned to meet Heimdall's curious gaze. "One in particular."

---------------------

"Tony, you need to calm down," Natasha urged quietly, demonstrating one of her many talents by power of persuasion. Unfortunately for her, Stark was not as easily swayed as her previous targets had been.

Tony was leaning on the counter top, holding his head in his hands, and tightly gripping his hair in anger and frustration.

Bruce stepped closer to the hot-headed Tony Stark, avoiding the shards of glass spread across the floor due to Tony's fit of rage that was taken out on his own mini bar. "I know that what you're going through is difficult, but you're directing your rage in the wrong area."

"The big guy knows better than anyone," chimed in Clint from the corner, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms in an almost bored posture. “You should listen to him.”

Bruce fought the urge to roll his eyes. "I do know what I'm talking about. You need to separate yourself from the situation. Take a step back, and try to think clearly."

That made Tony’s head snapped up, his hair slightly out of place from his grip. His brown eyes darted around the room in a panic before they settled on Bruce. "How exactly do you expect me to remove myself from this outlandish situation, Banner?" He stepped around the bar, walking closer to the remaining Avengers, the glass loudly crunching beneath his shoes with every step. "Y/N is my goddamn sister. I’m responsible for her, and I failed to protect her. How can I step away from that?"

"Mr. Stark, with all due respect, Y/N is an adult. You are not her bodyguard and you are not responsible for what happens to her." Tony's head whipped around so fast it was almost unnatural, his glare now falling on the man dressed in patriotic colors, standing on the far left of the room with a somber look on his face.

"Tell me, Rogers," Tony nearly spat. "Who have you had to look after? You are responsible for no one but yourself. Everyone you knew or cared for has passed on. You have absolutely no comprehension as to where my responsibilities lie with my sister."

Steve's jaw tightened at Tony's harsh words. His thoughts immediately went to the last World War he took part in. He remembered the look in his friend's eyes as they widened with fear as he plummeted from the train into the dark, snowy ravine. He had failed to protect his friend. He knew all too well what Stark was feeling, but he had learned to cope with the loss by convincing himself that it was out of his control and no one was to blame.

"I think what we're all getting at is that instead of standing around arguing, we should come up with a plan and execute it. In order to do that, we need clear heads so that we can think reasonably," the soldier spoke with patience.

"What exactly are you insinuating?" Clint asked, still in his relaxed stance, arms still crossed. "A rescue mission? Because the last time I checked, no one had any idea of Loki's whereabouts and there's nothing that we have that will lead us to him. We have absolutely nothing to go on."

"That's not exactly true," Natasha advised, interrupting Clint's rant. "We have him ," she insinuated as she pointed towards Thor.

Everyone's attention turned towards Thor who had been waiting silently by the door, gazing out of the window lost in his thoughts over the situation they had found themselves to be in. Turning his gaze towards Natasha, he asked, "Me?"

"Yes, you," she answered. "You know Loki better than any of us. You know his habits and behaviors. Where is somewhere that he would go to hold someone captive and remain hidden?"

Thor's face was somber and he carried a sad, defeated expression on his face, which was not one he expressed often. "You forget that I have been estranged from Loki for quite some time. He attempted to end my life several times. The ties that bind us have been broken and I may not know him as well as I once thought. I may not be of any help."

"It's worth a shot," The Captain spoke sternly, nodding to Thor for him to continue.

Thor lifted his fisted hand to his chin, a motion he did when he was deep in thought. He sifted through his thoughts and spoke them aloud. "Loki is no fool, but he is a creature of habit. He will seek a place that is remote and not easily accessible."

Clint chuckled quietly in the corner. "Well, that's specific." His laughing was instantly silenced when he caught a glimpse of Tony's glare. "Anything else?" he asked, hoping to avert Tony's attention away from him.

Thor continued as if he was uninterrupted. "Loki does not take well to defeat. He will return with a vengeance, which is perhaps why he has taken your sister. He may have plans for her, or it may have just been a ruse to disorient S.H.I.E.L.D. Regardless, I know that he is plotting revenge, not only on me, but the rest of you as well." He paused as he gazed out of the window again. "I do not have Heimdall's sight, and I cannot return home without Loki, and even if I did there would be no way for me to return to Earth. However, there may be a way to contact Heimdall and he may lend us his sight so that we may find my brother. Until then, all we can do is wait and you must search for any abnormal occurrences throughout your planet."

Bruce sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes in frustration. "That's easier said than done," he remarked tiredly. "This is a large planet."

"This is true," Thor continued. "But knowing Loki he will make an appearance and it will be drastic. He enjoys toying with other beings and he will grow restless if he is kept hidden for too long. He craves attention and it will not take him long to draw you to him, whether that is his intention or not."

"So basically your solution is to sit back and wait?" Tony accused angrily.

Thor nodded. "For now, that is all that can be done."

"That's bullshit!" Tony shouted, completely losing his temper. "I refuse to sit here and wait around for a sign that we may or may not catch! Are you aware that my sister could be dead by now?"

Fully turning his concentration towards Tony, Thor answered, "It is a possibility, though highly unlikely."

"I will not stand by and do nothing," Tony seethed. "I will find her."

Slowly, Thor walked over to Tony and placed one of his large hands on Stark's shoulder in a reassuring way. "My friend, your mind is clouded with anger. I am aware of your need to find your sister, but do you even know where to begin?"

"That's not the point –"

"That is the point," interrupted Thor. "I urge you to just allow us a day or two to sort this out."

Tony's jaw clenched with impatience. "It's been too long already."

"I know," said Thor dejectedly. "But please, just a bit more time."

Tony thrust Thor's hand from his shoulder, even more heated than before. "Am I the only one who's first concern is Y/N?" His behavior was close to hysterical at this point. “I’m going after her. Now.”

---------------------

Loki walked with a steady pace towards the bedchamber where you were being held. He was unsure of his feelings as thoughts raced through his mind as he walked. He should be content with keeping you here as his prisoner. He had all the leverage he needed with Tony Stark’s sister at his disposal, and yet he felt… unfulfilled.

When he materialized in the room, his forehead creased in confusion as he saw you lying on the bed, contently singing to yourself. He had assumed that you would be in as much of a sour mood as you had previously been. Something wasn’t right.

Sensing another presence, you had turned to see who had entered your room and beamed with excitement as your eyes rested upon Loki.

His brow rose in skepticism as you stepped down from the bed and approached him. Too stunned to react, he allowed you to wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace, sighing with contentment. “I’ve been waiting for you,” you murmured into his chest.

Completely at a loss for words, he gawked at you, dumbfounded as you released him and stared into his eyes, not a single trace of malice or loathing found in them. "I've missed you," you cooed with an inviting grin before you leaned up towards him and placed your lips softly on his own.

Coming to his senses, Loki aggressively pushed you off of him, causing you to stumble backwards, though you managed to catch yourself from falling. He didn’t miss the fact that you looked truly hurt and confused.

"What's the matter with you?" you asked, the pain evident in your voice.

He swallowed thickly, his eyes transfixed on you in shock. What had happened to you? Could it have been the isolation? You couldn’t have been alone for more than a few hours. Were humans truly this delicate? Had he broken your mind? So many more questions raced through his mind as the silver-tongued god found himself at a loss for words.

You waited patiently for an answer, you own eyes searching his mystified emerald ones. A few more moments passed before he finally spoke. "Your mind is not your own," he finally decided.

“Excuse me?”

He turned his gaze from you, and mumbled out loud, "Being around my power must have affected you more than I had anticipated." His fists clenched in anger as he continued to talk to himself. "This was not my intention. You were supposed to remain the same."

"Stop mumbling Loki, I can't hear you," you urged with frustration, puzzled by his behavior. You continued to edge towards him carefully until you were directly in front of him, close enough to feel his breath on your face. Placing your hands around his muscular upper arms, you squeezed with reassurance. "You really need to relax. There's no need to get so easily stressed," you said softly as you placed another brief kiss on his lips.

Stunned that he once again allowed you to kiss him, his mind began to race even more so than before. This was not possible. Too much exposure to power would have left you broken and incoherent. It would not have changed your entire personality into one of a lovesick being.

Of course! How did he not see this before? It was a game. You were toying with him in hopes of finding a way to escape. Not at all in imminent danger, you were eliciting a facade and now you were going to try to convince him that your disgust had been replaced with loving thoughts for him. What a clever girl!

He grinned with satisfaction as he put the pieces together in his head and finally allowed his eyes to lock onto yours. He would play your game… and he would win.

He slowly placed his hand on the back of your head to aggressively take a handful of your hair and force your lips to his. The brutality of his actions caused you to whimper in pain at first, but as the kiss deepened, your noises turned into small moans of passion. Together, your lips moved in a synchronized motion as Loki slid his tongue along your bottom lip, silently demanding entrance. He chuckled into your mouth as you quickly opened up to him and allowed him to explore your mouth with his hot, wet muscle.

He was slightly taken aback when you fought back against him for dominance, your hands reaching behind his neck and pulling yourself even nearer to him. Still not feeling close enough, you jumped up onto him, causing him to stumble back in surprise. Quickly, he released your hair and placed a hand on each of your legs, hiking you upwards so that you were now level with him while your feet no longer touched the floor.

Refusing to yield, Loki then carried you over to the bed. He roughly tossed you onto the bed, hardly giving you time to catch your breath as you landed with an "oof" before he was on top of you again, his lips capturing yours in a fight for dominance.

Turning your head to the side to steal a few breaths of air, Loki wasted no time as he moved his lips down your jaw to your neck and sucked lightly, eliciting quiet whimpers from you as you trembled beneath him.

"Loki," you finally managed to speak, your voice straining. He ignored you and continued to kiss and lick the soft skin tissue of your neck. Fighting to keep coherent, you complained, "Loki, wait a minute. Your armor is too heavy."

Loki ceased his physical exploration. He was winning at your little game and he could sense your retreat getting closer. Your odd statement was a request for him to remove his protection and leave himself more vulnerable to you. Though you were a mere mortal, too weak to hurt him even with his armor removed, he was skeptical as to why you did not come to that conclusion yourself.

He smiled deviously at you before his body began to emit a golden glow with bright rays forming around his armor before it faded away, revealing his slender form in a dark green robe along with black trousers. Sighing with relief as the extra weight lifted, you gave him a thankful smile in return.

"Is this better?" he asked, staring down at you, now even more alert than before. He was waiting for you to make your move and when you did, he would be ready for it.

"Much better," you answered, grinning.

"Excellent." Loki did not waste any time in capturing both of your hands into one of his as he held them in a tight grip above your head as he leaned towards you and continued to kiss you as he had before. He used his other hand to begin to explore your body, knowing that you would break soon. You arched your back, pressing your chest against his. He stilled for a moment, shocked that this was actually earning a slight reaction from him, causing a small bulge to form in his trousers. This would not do. He had to break you sooner than he had planned.

His hand made its way to your jeans and he quickly succeeded in unbuttoning them before slowly pulling down the zipper. Midgardian clothes were foreign to him, but it was easy enough to figure out how to work them. Hiking your pants down just slightly, it allowed himself enough room to give his large hands entrance to your most private of areas. He knew that you would never allow him to touch you there.

He cautiously edged his hand into your pants towards and waited. This earned a moan of desire from you, which caused him to halt completely. He removed his lips and hands from you before climbing off of you with a look of bewilderment on his face.

"Loki?" you asked breathlessly as you looked him over. "What's wrong?"

His teeth clenched, the feeling of defeat evoking rage. "Did you really think that this would work?" he seethed.

"What are you talking about?" you asked as you sat forward on the bed, buttoning your pants, figuring that your moment of intimacy was done for the time being.

He turned to stare daggers at you, his cold stare turning your blood to ice. "Did you really believe that I would stoop so low as to take a repulsive mortal into my bed? Your plan was poorly executed. You are a fool to think that you could deceit the god of lies!" He had risen from the bed, his armor had returned to his body and he was shaking with rage.

Gaping at him, you were unsure of what to say. Eventually, your anger got the better of you. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you brought me here! My mortality hasn’t stopped you yet, so why is it such a problem now?"

His brows came together in annoyance and perplexity. "You cannot possibly think that I would fall for your far-fetched tale of ignorance!"

Standing up from the bed, not a single trace of fear evident in your face, you walked closer to him, your eyes blazing. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about. How dare you," you spat, causing his eyes to widen. "You've got a lot of nerve, Loki."

A thought then crossed his mind as he searched your eyes for a hint of a lie, but he could find none. Somehow, you had formed an alternate reality in your subconscious, one in which they were coupled and dwelled together in cohabitation.

He relaxed his shoulders a bit and released much of his anger in a long sigh, but remained cautious. "Humor me, Y/N. What do you remember about yesterday?"

You crossed your arms in annoyance at his request. He fought the urge to smirk at your childish stance. "You brought me here from S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Air Base," you finally answered. "You said that you had business to take care of and you left. I made myself comfortable and sat by the fire until I got too tired. Then, I fell asleep in the bed, and when I woke up, you were here."

He was baffled. Her memory was completely skewed from reality. You truly believed that is how yesterday’s events occurred. He hardly noticed your hand take hold of his own. The foreign feeling of tender skin-to-skin contact caused him to jerk back a bit, but he did not break the hold.

"Loki, what’s wrong? Please, tell me."

"I'm not sure," he quickly answered, not really considering your question for he was lost in his own thoughts. After a moment of reflection, he leaned in towards you, mere inches from your face and stared deeply into your eyes.

You were confused, but stayed completely still, frozen under his intense gaze.

Loki took a moment to memorize every characteristic in your blazing orbs before quietly asking, "Do you love me?"

Bewildered, your expression instantly turned into one of adoration as you smiled. Your eyes suddenly filled with such love that it almost physically hurt him, causing him to stumble back a few steps as if he had been hit hard in the gut. Before he stepped back too far, you grabbed him by his leather collar and brought him closer as you placed your lips on his unmoving cold ones.

As if you didn't notice his lack of response, you deepened the kiss, showing him just how much you loved him through this simple gesture. Loki's defensive shields started to crumble until he completely lost himself in the thought of your mouth on his and your hands reaching up to his neck to stroke the hair that fell over his collar.

He wrapped his arms around you, drawing you nearer to him as he deeply inhaled, enthralled by your scent. It was as if he couldn't get enough of you in that moment. He wanted to continue holding you until the two of you simply became one person.

As his mouth hungrily devoured your, his head was screaming at him. He was kissing a mortal; a disgusting, pathetic, and worthless excuse for a life. A creature that had he been successful in his attempt to enslave the Earth would have been dead the moment you insulted him for the first time. He may have even killed you simply for the fact that you were the sibling of his hated rival, Iron Man.

Upon these thoughts entering his mind, his lips froze in place causing you to notice his hesitation and pull back. Loki cursed himself for the moment their lips separated he wanted to draw you back to him. He craved you, and he loathed himself for it.

"Loki?" you asked, noticing his far away gaze as he fought with himself over his feelings.

Not a moment later, you felt yourself being crushed painfully into the wall behind you, Loki gripping your arms painfully tight.

Refusing to wince in pain, you met Loki's challenging stare with a blazing one of your own. He was breathing heavily in anger, unable to tear his emerald eyes away from yours. Before he could comprehend his own actions, his mouth was on yours, hungrily devouring you.

Instead of refusing him as he had expected, you responded positively and moaned into his mouth as he plunged his tongue into your lips, tasting you, reveling in your deliciously sweet flavor.

Hungry for more, you grabbed the collar of his leather armor and shoved him back. Due to his complete loss of coherent thought during the kiss, he was caught off guard, baffled by your sudden abrasive actions.

He soon realized your intentions as he saw the lust in your eyes and smirked at your obvious arousal. You glided forward and continued to push him lightly, guiding him until he reached the edge of an empty desk at the other end of the room. In an aggressive manner, you took it upon yourself to jump onto him, gripping his hips tightly with your legs as he wrapped his arms around your lower half, cradling your bottom in his hands as he held you steady. You tangled your hands in his hair and forced his mouth to yours, almost angrily.

As your lithe body writhed against him, he felt the urge to explore more of you. He turned around and placed you on the desk, leaving his hands free to roam your body as you continued to kiss lustfully.

His thoughts began to flash like static in his mind. He was repulsed, yet aroused, and his arousal was clearly overpowering his disgust. Loki wondered to himself how long it had been since he had bedded a woman. He had never taken a mortal into his bed, but if he were to choose a mortal to lay with, he could think of no better one than you. Whether or not he desired to bed you for revenge, or for his own personal needs, he did not know, but he wasn’t about to stop to consider it either.

Without breaking the kiss, Loki lifted you effortlessly into his arms and swiftly carried you to the bed. He gently laid you down on the sheets, immediately missing the contact with your skin. Still standing, he could do nothing but stare at you, dumbfounded as to what he should do next. He silently cursed himself as you watched him with an intense gaze. He was not a shy man. With women he had laid with before, he had no problems having his way with them, but he was unable to do so with you.

He licked his lips in frustration as he fought with himself as to what his next actions should be. He did not expect you to be impatient and was taken by surprise as you raised from your relaxed position into a kneeling posture and began to remove your shirt, suggestively locking eyes with him. Loki forced himself to remain steady with every piece of clothing you removed.

When the only clothing that remained were your delicates, you raised one finger and seductively urged him forward, biting your lip in anticipation. Forgetting his incessant need for dominance, Loki stepped forward hesitantly until he was kneeling on the bed. Agonizingly slowly, you began to remove his heavy leather and metal armor from his slender, yet muscular form.

Becoming impatient, Loki began to help you with the removing of his clothes until all that was covered was his own private area. Instead of attempting to remove it, you glanced upward into Loki's intense gaze. Even while you were both kneeling he towered over you.

Lifting your hand to lightly stroke his cheek, you then placing both hands in his hair to draw him towards her so you could kiss him lovingly. Loki began to push himself into you, causing you to lie down on your back while he hovered over you, anxious for more.

With his godly strength, he ripped away your bra and panties, leaving you bare before him. He then wasted no time in removing the last of his clothing as well, revealing his obscenely large cock, prominently jutting forward for attention.

Loki returned to planting kisses on your neck, sucking gently as he made his way to your breasts. You whimpered as he took both of the peaks into his fingers and squeezed gently. He then settled his mouth on one of them, flicking his tongue all around the hardening flesh. Biting your lip, you tried to contain the screams that were building up from his actions. Unable to contain them any longer, you lost control the moment his calloused fingers slipped into you.

The pace was maddening as he continued to thrust his fingers in and out of you while his thumb rubbed in vigorous circles against your clit, all the while his other hand working your breasts. Incoherent syllables escaped you as he continued exploring your body. When his fingers were replaced by his tongue in your core, you could feel the blood circulation leaving your hands as you gripped the sheets with all your strength. Writhing against him, his tongue pumped in and out of you before moving up to lap at your clit while he pressed his fingers inside of you once again.

Before you went completely over the edge, you pushed him off aggressively. He pulled back, perplexed by your sudden change in demeanor. Your expression was animalistic as you dug your nails into his arms and pulled him around so that you could straddle him and imitated his moves from before by kissing your way down his neck, occasionally nipping softly, making him hiss in arousal. Sliding down his body, you looked from his pleading eyes to his throbbing member right in front of your face.

Taking his cock in your hand, you began by running your tongue up and down his slit as you felt him tremble against you. Settling your mouth around the tip of his girth, you sucked gently, letting your tongue flick and swirl all around it. You almost came at the sight of him after you looked up to see him close his eyes and open his mouth slightly, lips quivering and gasping slightly every time your tongue slid across his slit.

You took all of him into your mouth at that point. He threw his head back and groaned loudly with satisfaction. With each thrust you bobbed your head, occasionally grazing the underside of his cock with your teeth. His fingers tangled themselves into your hair, forcing you further onto his shaft. You hummed against him, making him cry out even louder. You sensed he was getting close so you removed yourself from him, eliciting a whine from the god.

You smiled playfully at him, which earned a forceful change of position while he grabbed you and laid you beneath him once more. He kissed you softly before pulling away and begging you with his eyes for entry. You nodded and pulled him into another kiss as he slowly entered you. Whimpering into the kiss, it was a slow adjustment as his shaft pushed all the way into you.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you kept him inside of you for a moment, letting your head loll back as you acclimated to his size. When you allowed your body to relax, he took it as a sign to pull back and enter again, but with a little more force. You cried out in bliss with every thrust as they became harder each time he entered you. Resting his head in the crook of your neck, he showered it with kisses as he lunged harder and faster. Your arms found themselves around his neck as you held on for dear life.

As he continued to thrust at a maddening pace into you, your back arched in pleasure as he reached down and rubbed your clit. The sensation was overwhelming in the best way. Your entire body tensed up as the orgasm pulsated through you, wave after wave of euphoric bliss.

Your nails raked down his back as he continued his assault on your leaking cunt. Moments after, the pulsing feeling around his cock was more than he could take. He released himself inside of you and cried out in bliss as his seed lined your cervix.

When he was spent, he rested on top of you only for a moment, panting heavily before kissing you tenderly, which you reciprocated with enthusiasm. When the kiss broke, you leaned into Loki, causing him to roll over and lie down facing upwards. Turning on your side, you propped your head up with one hand while caressing Loki's long hair with the other.

For the first time in a very long while, Loki was at a loss of what to do. He could not think of anything else but you, for you had enveloped his mind and captured his desires. He would curse himself tomorrow for letting himself fall into you this way, but for the moment, he savored the feeling.

As you stroked his hair he took it upon himself to explore your Midgardian body. His rough fingers traced your cheek, jaw, and neck. As he moved down over the swell of your breast and onto your hips, Loki could not help but ask, "Y/N, what caused you to become so enamored with me?"

You grinned with both contentment and amusement before replying. "What, you mean besides your charm and wit?" He smirked at your answer, but sought more from you. You sighed, wracking your brain to try and figure out how to put your feelings into words. "I see you, Loki. I see who are between all of the bullshit. You exhaust yourself trying to attain something that’s always beyond your reach. You’re not a monster. You’re just someone who needs to be loved."

Upon his stunned silence, you leaned slowly towards him to place a soft, tender kiss on his lips before you lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around his abdomen, quickly drifting off to sleep.

Silvertongue was at a loss for words. Not knowing what else to do, he absentmindedly allowed his arms to wrap around your sleeping form. He had not had close contact such as this in far too long, and it satisfied him.

Dismissing the internal questions and maddening thoughts, Loki allowed himself to fall asleep, feeling more content than he had in all his existence.

#eliza's 5k challenge #loki #loki x reader #smut #writing challenge #fanfiction

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bigdreamsandwildthings · 5 years ago

Photo

Review: The Beautiful (Renee Ahdieh)

Rating: ★★★★/5

“It was like walking the edge of a cliff. If Celine fell to one side, she would be good evermore. If she fell to the other? She would be consumed by evil and lose all chance at redemption. Celine knew it sounded silly, but to her it felt true. It wasn’t possible for good and evil to reside in the same person. Was it?” This was a fun return to the world of vampires that didn't succumb to a lot of the stereotypes that I wondered if it would. In classic Renee Ahdieh fashion, there's a swoony male love interest, a super badass female MC, and a lot of intrigue and mystery. Celine Rousseau is fleeing from her past in Paris, sailing across the ocean to New Orleans to start a new life. She expects hard work and anonymity - but what she doesn't expect is a group of inhumanly beautiful people to take an interest in her. When Odette asks her to make a dress for her, a passion she hasn't been able to pursue since her flight across the world, Celine agrees, eager not just to live, but to feel alive again. But soon, she becomes entangled in a web of betrayal and mistrust that has spanned centuries, leaving her and Bastien, the nephew of Count Saint Germain, in a mess of past heartbreak and developing love. Celine is hardened to the world, but, much as she is loathe to admit it, not to Bastien, and her heart may lead her to her death. In many ways, this felt like the vamp novels of my teen years that I adored with my entire being. There's this mystery surrounding these inhumanly beautiful demon creatures, there's a set-up for a love triangle (ugh, I know, but I actually didn't hate it here), there's a wilful, stubborn MC. But those expectations I had were subverted in different ways in each case. Celine is a wonderful anti-heroine. I don't say that lightly, because so many YA heroines are whiny and predictable. Celine isn't. She's so set on her own future and carving her way, so terrified of her past and of her feelings towards Bastien that it makes her angry. She is so far from perfect, and I loved her for that. She is just a girl trying to make it in the world; she's smart, and cunning, and wonderfully, darkly funny on top of it all. The crew that makes up La Cour de Lions is also worthy of note in the character department; somehow, I was able to keep all their names straight, which is a feat when there's so many, but it shows how Renee created such vivid characters and brought them to life so well. I also adored Pippa - sweet, lovely Pippa - and I just want her to be happy okay? The mystery was also woven through the story in a masterful way. I didn't guess whose perspective the vamp chapters were from, nor did I guess the ultimate identity of the vamp trying to kill Celine. It was all a lovely surprise at the big reveal, and I love it when that happens. Also, *spoiler* I'm SO HAPPY we avoided the trope of the girl falling in love with the vamp. At least in this book I guess... *spoiler* The set-up of the love triangle for the next book was also well-done, but I feel like it's pretty unnecessary. Who wants Celine with Grimaldi? Who would ship that when dark beautiful devilish Bastien is also available? However, I didn't mind Michael. I just didn't love him like I loved Bastien, and obviously, neither did Celine, so... Anyways, I suppose I will end this on the note that I love vampire novels. This one did feel a bit draggy at times, but overall, I enjoyed it. I liked the period drama piece of it, and I loved Celine as a character.

#booklr #book photography #book reviews #the beautiful #renee ahdieh #ya fiction #ya fantasy #ya paranormal #bookworm #bibliophile #my photos #my reviews #mine

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crystaljins · 5 years ago

Text

Midnight Black

Characters: Jungkook x reader

Word count: 2.7 K

Synopsis: 2. Howarts!au + 2. Enemies-to-lovers + 3. “ i don’t even think i want to know. ” [drabble game]

Notes: I feel like maybe I could have gone the cute and fluffy route but I saw Hogwarts and I though “MAGIC! INTRIGUE! A MYSTERY!”. So have this instead of cute E2L shenanigans SOZ

If you had needed any solid evidence that something suspicious is happening in Hogwarts, the proof sits directly in front of you. In your previous six years as a student in this awful castle you’d never known the Whomping Willow to go still like it currently is, at least not before all the strange happenings began. The figures that you are watching vanish into what looks like knotted and twisted roots of the blasted tree. How they even got it to go still like that is beyond you. You’ve been following them from the entrance to the great hall to the Whomping Willow and so far, apart from this strange ability to make the Whomping Willow go still, there’s been nothing to suggest that they are the people responsible for the strange happenings at Hogwarts lately.

You wait a few moments before following after them. Regardless of if they are responsible or not, this is suspicious activity and since none of your professors are taking you seriously, you may be the only hope this awful school has. You eye the Whomping Willow distrustfully, aware that at any moment whatever spell or charm they had could wear off. No matter how smooth a liar you are, it will be difficult to explain why you’re up after curfew and why you’d been bludgeoned by the Whomping Willow.

The Whomping Willow does not stir, however, and as you carefully replicate the actions of the suspicious figures you were following, you are able to find the secret entrance that your targets vanished into. You hesitate for only a moment. You don’t know where this passage leads. You don’t know if these people are dangerous. And if something happens to you, in this secret passage that you hadn’t even known existed for the last 6 years, then it is entirely possible that no one will ever find you. That you’ll become one of those Hogwarts’ mysteries. The bright Slytherin student who vanished without a trace in her seventh year. Are you… are you really prepared to do that?

But then you remember what Hoseok had looked like. They had found him in the forbidden forest with another female student and had assumed they’d snuck out for a foolish date and stumbled upon something mysterious they couldn’t handle. Because the forbidden forest is laden with mysteries. Even the oldest professors at Hogwarts don’t fully know what secrets it holds. That’s probably why it had been so easy for everyone to write off what happened as an unfortunate accident. But two days later they are still unable to find what has caused Hoseok and the female student to be comatose. For their skin to be midnight black all over like they were cared from stone. For the whites of their eyes to be replaced with crimson red. Tomorrow they will be transported to Mungo’s since it has been deemed beyond the realms of even Madame Pomfrey to heal. Who knows if you will ever see them again. Truly a tragedy- one of the many accidents that commonly happen in this stupid school.

Except, you know better. You know Hoseok. Know that he’s the biggest coward to walk the planet, and that the kind, mild-mannered Hufflepuff would never break the rules, let alone go wondering alone in a dangerous forest for some sort of thrill-seeking date with a girl he hardly speaks to. You’re a Slytherin- rotten down to the bone if the rest of the school is to be believed. So if you think something seems off, you know better than to go against your own instincts.

The recollection that you may never see your friend again, and the knowledge of how awfully you had treated him during your last encounter is motivation enough. You swallow back your fear and follow after the figures into the secret passageway. Who knows how far ahead they’ve gotten but hopefully there is only one path through in the tunnel you’ve stepped into. You watch around carefully- the roots of the willow are knotted and tangled together, providing a pathway through the underground. The musty smell of soil and something rotten filters through the stale air and you wrinkle your nose.

The opening slides shut behind you and you are plunged into full darkness as the meagre lighting the moon had provided vanishes. And Slytherins aren’t known for their bravery so you aren’t ashamed of the way your hands tremble and your heart throbs loudly in your ears. Stay calm, you tell yourself, inhaling deeply, before reaching into the satchel that hangs at your hip. A lumos spell would provide adequate lightly, but it may also expose your presence to anyone lingering in the tunnel. Luckily, you came prepared. The Night Goggles you have in your possession had not been easy to obtain. There’s only one trouble maker in the school who would own a pair.

Your sworn enemy, Jeon Jungkook. Of course, you almost looked for reasons to antagonise the arrogant Gryffindor, and his head was so big he hadn’t been able to turn it in time to spot you swiping it from his satchel during breakfast that morning. What idiot brought something like that to a brightly lit place like breakfast in the Great Hall? You’ll never know why the Headmaster made him of all people Head Boy. Whatever the reason for bringing it, though, it had worked in your favour, and you slide the goggles onto your face. The whole tunnel lights up behind the goggles like you’ve just switched on a light and you smile. Who knew the muscle head would prove himself so useful? You hadn’t even had to pay for these.

You’re about to proceed forward when you hear a grinding sound before you and suddenly the back of your robes go tight around your neck. Someone has grabbed you by the back of your collar.

“I thought I smelled something unpleasant and reptilian.” A repulsively familiar voice hisses alarmingly close to your ear. He tugs hard on your collar and you stumble backward and collide with his firm chest. “What are you up to, Snake? Why did you steal my goggles? How did you make the Whomping Willow go still like that?”

His voice is entirely too loud considering you’re currently tailing someone and you whip around and plant both hands over his mouth to shut him up.

“Will you be quiet?” You snarl, your voice barely a whisper. He has his own pair of Night Goggles, probably borrowed from one of his stupid friends like Taehyung or Seokjin. Perhaps he had noticed you swiping his goggles that morning, then. He forcefully yanks your hands away but does not release his grip on your wrists. His breathing is slightly heavy like he’s hold back his anger and you are so close to him you feel each forceful puff against your face.

“Why should I, you thief?” He demands, and his voice is practically booming in the enclosed space. You just hope the people you were following have gotten far enough ahead that they can’t hear them. You try and tug your hands free but he’s so obnoxiously strong. It’s probably from years of being the best Beater on the Gryffindor team. “This is rich- the Head Bitch herself, revisiting her Slytherin roots and stealing, sneaking out after hours, and…” He looks around and frowns. “What else? Why are you here? I… I don’t even think I want to know.” He admits. “This seems… dangerous. What do you have up your sleeve, Snake?”

Ah, his favourite nickname for you. Always a delight, isn’t he? Still, he’s followed you this far successfully, and you’re a little afraid of what you may find if you continue on alone. It wouldn’t hurt to have a companion, even if said companion frequently makes you feel like he’s cast the cruciatus curse on you. And though you loathe to admit it, Jeon Jungkook is a competent wizard. It wouldn’t hurt to have him onside. You swallow and stare at him. You can’t read his expression with the large goggles obscuring the upper half of his face.

“I have nothing up my sleeve.” You confess. “I followed some suspicious people here and I’m trying to figure out what they’re up to. I think they have something to do with what happened to Hoseok.”

That brings him pause.

“Hoseok? Why does a Slytherin like you care about Hobi?” He asks incredulously, as if the thought of a Slytherin caring about someone else is absolutely unheard of. And perhaps it is. They call you snakes for a reason.

But you don’t have time for inter-house rivalry or even this stupid enemy-ship you’ve built up with Jungkook over the years. As much as it hurts you to swallow your pride (and Slytherins have a lot of pride), you need him to leave now or help you. For Hoseok’s sake.

“Because.” You snap. “You don’t honestly believe that Hoseok would be caught dead in the Forbidden Forest, do you?” You point out. That has Jungkook falling abruptly silent. He still has his grip on your wrist but you feel his hold loosen to the point you are able to tug your hand free. Your wrist feels like it is on fire where he has grabbed you.

“I did think it was suspicious.” He admits. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re out here, underneath the Whomping Willow or why you stole my goggles. Which I paid good money for, by the way.”

The questions he’s asking aren’t difficult to answer. You’ve been snooping around ever since Hoseok had been found with that other girl, trying to retrace the steps that had led to his current situation. And the only clue you’d had was Hoseok last having been seen fleeing from some prefects outside the Great Hall the night he vanished. Which was why you had stolen Jungkook’s goggles and waited outside the Great Hall like an idiot. But you’d found something- these suspicious figures. You’d overheard them say Hoseok’s name and had followed them. That’s how you had ended up here.

But while that explains the how and what of the situation, it does not answer the question of why you’re doing all this. Why you, the girl with the nickname Head Bitch and an equally nasty reputation to match, are breaking every rule in the book for a mere Hufflepuff. A Hufflepuff who, as far as everyone knew, had had an explosive shouting match with you right before he vanished two days ago. And everyone knows you’d treated him like dirt for years despite the fact that he considered you a close friend and had always been kind and considerate to. You’d been a strange match, a muggle born and a Slytherin. When you’d called a Mudblood to his face, right in front of nearly every student in the school, no one had been surprised because they’d been waiting for the day Hoseok realised your true colours.

“I’m… trying to make things right.” You say, and your traitorous voice catches. The firm frown on Jungkook’s face softens in surprise just the slightest bit. You’re thankful he can’t see the way your eyes are starting to fill with tears behind your goggles. “Hoseok’s my friend and I hurt him and… and I may never be able to take the things I said back.” You confess and you wish your voice would stop wobbling.

You haven’t shed a single tear for Hoseok in the last 48 hours. Not when they first found him, or when you first saw what had happened to him. Not when you overheard people whispering in the halls when you walked past. Speculating what might have happened. Suspecting you. It makes sense, right? After all, you’d called him a Mudblood in front of everyone. And Slytherins are almost famous for being nasty. So you hadn’t shed a tear then either.

But you do now, and in front of your mortal enemy, no less. Jungkook has gone quiet. He’s not as stupid as you like to pretend he is and he sees the way your shoulders are hunched with repressed sobs, even if your goggles obscure most of you expression. And he’s seen your face when people whisper about you in the hall.

And most important of all is that he saw your face after you insulted Hobi. He saw the regret and pain and sadness in your face for using such a horrible term on someone. And for the first time ever he had thought that maybe you aren’t the soulless, evil monster that everyone thinks you are. He’s hated you since the day you first met in your first year where he called you a snake and you hexed him with surprising skill for an eleven-year-old. And your relationship never changed or grew- the two of you merely became more and more hateful towards the other as the years on. Years filled with anger and mean pranks and hurtful words. And you’re a Slytherin so it’s always been easy to justify his actions because Slytherins are cruel, evil witches and wizards. The scum of society. And you gave back just as good as you got. But looking at you now… It’s hard to reconcile what he sees with the heartless ice queen he always thought you were.

“Why did you say it, then?” He asks. That’s the last piece of the puzzle he needs to be convinced that you’re telling the truth, that you’re here to help Hoseok and not bring doom and destruction upon the school. And to convince him that maybe he shouldn’t drag you back to the Head Student dorms and deduct 100 points from Slytherin and instead follow you to wherever this mysterious tunnel leads.

“I…” You answer. Why did you say it? How could you say something so awful to your friend? “I was hurt.” You confess. How humiliating- a Slytherin, with hurt feelings? You may as well hand in your robes and start wearing yellow. You’re so pathetic. “We were just having a fight. He blew up randomly over breakfast because of some silly comment I made. He’d accused me of never caring about what he was doing or the things that were bothering him, and then he called me-“ Your sentence aborts as your breath catches. This whole situation has been so painful and awful, and saying it aloud is somehow even worse. “He called me a selfish snake. And I know everyone calls Slytherins that. That’s what we are. But not Hoseok. He never-“ You inhale shakily. “He never thought that about me. And so I lashed out, but now it might be that last thing I ever said to him-“

And the Jungkook does something unexpected. Something neither of you ever thought he’d do, in his entire time at Hogwarts.

He hugs you. He wraps his arms tightly around your frame like you’ll float away if he lets go.

“It’s ok.” He says softly. “He didn’t mean it. And it won’t be the last thing you ever said to him.” He reassures you.

“How do you know?” You question, as the tears come in full force.

“Because I’m going to help you.” Is what he offers as words of comfort.

And for some reason, you do feel comforted. You shouldn’t. You’re in the arms of your enemy. Your only friend is in some sort of magical coma. And at the end of this tunnel what is waiting for you are either answers for something you probably can’t handle on your own or your early death. Those are all reason to feel scared and frustrated and to pull away and go back to bed.

Instead, you feel warm. Safe. You feel like someone finally believes you, after being suspected and hated and having professors dismiss you. And the fact that it is Jeon Jungkook is horrifying… but also reassuring. Because if he can believe you, then surely other people can.

He pulls away and oddly you miss his warmth. He then holds out a hand to you which you hesitantly accept, wrapping your fingers timidly around his.

“Come on, then.” He says with a determined smile. “Let’s go find out what really happened to Hobi, shall we?”

And for the first time, ever since your fight with Hobi, and the night he went missing, you find yourself smiling.

“We shall.” You say, turning to face the tunnel ahead, hand-in-hand with your former enemy.

#jungkook x reader #Jeon jungkook x reader #Hogwarts au #jungkook angst #hoseok angst #slytherin!reader x gryffindor!Jungkook #drabble game #writing

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camelliacats · 5 years ago

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you're nobody until somebody loves you (141-150/∞)

100-word drabbles for a range of ships. *Requests always welcome! Repeats allowed~*

Chapters 141-150: [FFN] [AO3] | ← → | start from the beginning

Pairings/Characters: Zacharias Smith/Justin Finch–Fletchley, Lily Luna Potter/Minerva McGonagall, Bellatrix Lestrange/Molly Weasley, Gideon Prewett/Regulus Arcturus Black, Lily Evans/Voldemort, Fleur Delacour/Hermione Granger, Lily Evans/Sirius Black, Rabastan Lestrange/James Potter, Dean Thomas/Parvati Patil, & Oliver Wood/Percy Weasley

Rating: K

Words: 1,000 collectively

Additional info: romance, slash, femslash, cross gen, angst, fluff, Marauder era, Harry's era, Next Gen era, 2nd person POV, 3rd person POV

Summary: Song by Sammy Davis, Jr., 100-word drabbles by mew. So is unrequited love always unrequited? | Various pairings, eras, etc. Includes het, slash, femslash, cross-gen, next-gen, but nothing too bad. Read it all or only what you like!

141: ZachariasJustin

He's sweet.

"I'm Justin—that's Hannah and Ernie," he introduces when you join everyone for the first time at the Hufflepuff table. You're the last one Sorted, but it doesn't feel that way with a friend like Justin.

He's soft.

"If you really hate the D.A., I won't make you join us." He frowns when he says this, but he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. You're fifteen, and you don't want to let that hand go.

He's stubborn.

After the battle, he finds you and kisses you because he doesn't care that you ran—he cares that you lived.

142: LilylunaMinerva

Lily sees in her bravery she thinks skipped a generation in her own family.

James is all kindness and cockiness, but he can't admit he graduated without confessing to the man he loved.

Al is smart but looking for peace and quiet, not fame and fortune, and knows he'd have been content in Hufflepuff.

Then there is Lily, another in a sea of Weasley faces.

She broaches this over tea one afternoon, but McGonagall corrects her that no, Lily is brash but unforgettable.

Lily takes that as the hope to ask for tea—and more—in the years to come.

143: BellatrixMolly

She had a family because she couldn't keep waiting for Bellatrix. It's a target that Bellatrix, even in her psychosis, won't stop hunting.

Every time she patrols for the Dark Lord, Bellatrix spies someone that reminds her of Molly, and it's a cruel reminder. Of what Bellatrix couldn't give her, of how Molly pulled away until Rodolphus seemed passable, of a fascination that's not obsession just the only time she's felt love, loathe as she is to admit it.

Bellatrix feels her heart shatter before Molly's wand, but she can hold on if only Molly will put her back together.

144: GideonRegulus

It's not the curiosity of him being Sirius' younger brother.

It's not that, for being related to Sirius, Regulus has stuck closer to family traditions than Sirius has.

It's not the draw of him being renowned at school for his Quidditch skills, although Gideon would be lying if he said he didn't find that attractive.

It's the times he snatches Regulus' attention in the corridors, locking eyes for a few heartbeats. Gideon's given the chance then to read him and find that, despite how hard Regulus tries to hide it, he isn't dead on the inside.

And that's a start.

145: LilyVoldemort

She had a choice that night. By the time the Dark Lord made it up the stairs, she knew her old life lay dead in his wake. So, if she could make a barter…

"You're scared of my child," she reminded Voldemort.

He narrowed his eyes. They were eerily red, but his face was otherwise handsome.

"Doesn't the magic intrigue you? Take us with you instead." Lily and Harry were a two-for-one deal.

And Tom Riddle took that gambit.

(Lily just never thought saving her life would have her reaping the benefits of ruling the Wizarding world at his side.)

146: FleurHermione

Across the courtyard, beyond the azure-clad shoulders of her friends, Fleur spied her, each and every time.

The bushy brown hair. The worried wrinkle between her eyebrows as she poured over something she rarely didn't understand in her texts. The exasperated smile she gave when her two best mates were around. The secret smile she wore when a passing daydream snatched her up.

Fleur had almost worked up the courage to ask Hermione, the cute-as-a-baby-unicorn thing that she was, to the Yule Ball when Viktor's friendship began to work—then he, not Fleur, was the next to snatch her up.

147: LilySirius

"You're really never going to give Prongs a chance, are you?"

Lily shrugged as she and Marlene plaited Sirius' hair in the common room. While she didn't understand the boys' nicknames for each other, she knew he meant James. "Nah. He's an okay bloke at times, just…" Lily wiggled her fingers dismissively, earning a snort from Marlene.

"I see," Sirius thought aloud.

"What do you see?" Lily asked. Marlene got bored and shoved the rest of his tresses into Lily's hands before leaving.

Sirius chuckled and leaned against her legs, reaching up to tug one of Lily's hands into his.

148: RabastanJames

He knew Potter spotted him the instant the Chaser's head swiveled his way. Rabastan grimaced. It was one thing to look; it was another to grab the younger wizard's attention.

Rabastan had just turned on his heel to leave the pitch when Potter pulled up short behind him, dropped off his broom, and jogged the rest of the way to fall into step beside him. Rabastan huffed but ignored him.

Potter grinned. "Didn't know I had any fans."

"You don't."

Potter raised his eyebrows, and his spectacles fell down his nose, eyes appraising. "…mind if I become one of yours?"

149: DeanParvati

Those rare moments that find them in the common room, detached from their best mates' hips, are moments of commiseration.

Parvati shakes her head. "I can't believe Seamus picked a fight with Lav. About Quidditch, no less."

Dean opens his mouth but silently acquiesces, because Seamus is likely to do that without thinking of the consequences, and it's known that Lavender's a closet fan. He offers up a smile. "They're…opinionated," he says.

Parvati guffaws and falls into him on the couch. "I think you mean 'bombastic'…!"

He laughs, too, nervously; it's nice when Parvati comes to him for consolation….

150: OliverPercy

"I have a lot riding on your final match, Oliver. You've got to win tomorrow."

"Percy, just change already and get to bed—you're keeping everyone up. Don't gnash your teeth at me. I didn't make you place that bet with Clearwater."

"Don't you sigh at me! It's just something Penny and I—get heated about. …oh, who am I kidding? That's what our relationship is nowadays. Gripes about Quidditch bets."

"Percy…"

"What?"

"…make a bet with me, too."

"What?! No, why?"

"If I win for you, then I'll tell you something good. I promise. Goodnight, Percy."

"? …goodnight, Oliver."

Remarks for—

Ch142: Requested by Guest on FFN. Considering one of my fav Lilu ships is Remlilu (her with Remus), I approached this quite happily since age gaps don't intimidate me. Deffo something of a crush on Lilu's side…but maybe not, considering that tiny opening at the end? ;)

Ch143: Requested by HereIam101 on FFN, who wanted this to be during the war or post-war with Bellatrix living, hence the final line here. When the final movie went the extra mile and had Molly literally shatter her to pieces, I always thought it was over-the-top…and yet (Killing Curse aside) it makes me wonder if Bellatrix could have a Humpty Dumpty moment, *lol*. Ahh, that'd be interesting to explore…

Ch145: Requested by Guest on FFN. Definitely have never considered this ship before, but this premise intrigues me. If Lily could've been savvy enough and Voldy curious enough, this would've made for quite the story, *LOL*. That is, of course, if he were willing to set aside her lineage the way he set aside his own.

Ch147: Requested by Guest on FFN. Ahhh, I love moments like these, where one charrie's answer isn't words but an action. -w- It's been years since I last wrote them, but I quite like the premise here. The addition of Marlene was purely for my own entertainment. XD Ty, Guest, for continuing to review as well as request! :3

Ch148: XD That one-liner sure feels like a James line if I've ever read one. Ahhh, I miss RabJames. ;w; Need to write more for them, *LOL*.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

And if you want to support ynusly, please swing by its FFN and AO3 versions and consider liking and reblogging these posts on my HariPo fic tumblr!

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bevioletskies · 5 years ago

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bring it on home to me [4/5]

summary: The fight of everyone’s lives may be over, but for Nebula, Peter, and the rest of the Guardians, the search for the person they love most has just begun.

a/n: MAJOR spoiler warning for Avengers: Endgame, though I am a little vague about the events of what happened. Regardless, please don’t let me spoil it for you!

Fic title is, of course, from the song Bring It On Home To Me by Sam Cooke.

word count: 3.5k | ao3 | tag

Nebula sank down to the floor to sit cross-legged at the foot of a bed that had only recently become hers, annoyance bubbling in her stomach at the sound of the Guardians loudly speculating out in the common area of the ship. Peter had instructed them all to return to the Benatar and stay there until he came back, and had given no further instructions since. Nebula was in no mood to be in the company of the rest of them, especially since they were all pleasantly drunk off cheap Knowhere alcohol, and had instead retreated to her own bunk.

When it was just her and Rocket, it had been easy to avoid each other in times of heightened emotions. After the rest of them returned, it had become rather claustrophobic. Peter had referred to the Milano as his “bachelor pad”, as it barely had a bunk to spare and a mini-freezer that was mostly used to keep his beer cold. The Benatar, however, was intended for a team, a family, modelled after some aspects of the Milano, but far more spacious in every way. Still, it was hard to go anywhere without running into somebody, something that Nebula absolutely loathed.

“I think I liked this piece of scrap better when it was just you and me,” she had said to Rocket a few nights ago after she had gotten into yet another argument with Peter over directions. Rocket had only shrugged in return as he could no longer agree, not after the deafening five years of silence - none of Peter’s off-key singing, Groot’s video game chirping, Drax’s loud chewing, or Mantis’s saccharine-sweet giggling. It had merely been the sound of Nebula’s fingers tapping impatiently against the console and the sound of Rocket’s tools clicking away diligently at every engineering flaw he could find to distract himself with, and the Benatar had never felt so empty.

The bunk Nebula was now sitting in was a spare one that hadn’t officially belonged to anyone before it became hers, though she wasn’t naive - there was an assortment of objects here and there that suggested it was a hideaway for one particular member of the Guardians who needed her own space at times. A small music box, the only souvenir she’d found at a trading post that originated from her home planet; a spare set of switchblades that had once been polished diligently every day, now dulled and dusty due to the lack of ownership; a stack of books that covered all sorts of topics that would have otherwise been gaps in her knowledge, due to an obvious lack of educational opportunities. There was no doubt that this room had been her sister’s.

Nebula reached for one of the books and cracked it open, not caring for the way the spine protested beneath her fingers. One of the pages had been bent at the corner, indicating that she had stopped here. It was a section on medicine, basic universal remedies that could be used on many different planets without fear of contamination or other adverse effects.

“What did you want to be when you got older?” They were approximately the equivalent of Terran eight- and ten-year-olds, lying on thin woven mats that barely protected their backs from the discomfort of the ground, staring up at the Kitson night sky. It was a “wretched planet” according to Thanos, but he had business with some slippery weapons dealer who was hiding in the casinos. Everyone under his thumb knew that anything less than total annihilation of the entire casino strip itself would be a surprise.

“Why?” Nebula had immediately been suspicious, rolling onto her side so she could properly look at her sister. She had abandoned the double braids she’d worn when Thanos had first taken her, now going for a more practical upknot that kept all of her hair out of her face. It pulled her skin back taut, made the newly implanted silver in her forehead more visible, especially in the moonlight. Still, she looked more whole in comparison, not like pieces of a puzzle that had been haphazardly put back together.

“I just thought we could talk,” she had said defensively. “Father almost never leaves us alone together.”

“But we aren’t alone,” Nebula had pointed out, gesturing further away where a shifty-eyed Chitauri guard was standing with his back to them, probably wishing he was anywhere else but here. “Maybe he’s testing our loyalty. If we try to run - ”

“I used to think about being a doctor.” Gamora had folded her hands neatly over her chest, pointedly ignoring her sister’s usual speculation of Thanos’s motivations. She’d long stopped trying to predict what he wanted, and instead went with whatever would ensure she lived to see another day. “My mother was one of the best healers on my planet. When people were hungry, they would ask her how to make it stop. When they were dizzy because of the bad air, they would ask her what to do to make it go away. And...when people died, they asked her if the pain of losing someone would hurt forever.”

Nebula had been silent for a moment. “I don’t remember my mother.” Her eyes had slid shut; she was starting to feel vaguely nauseous. “I remember almost nothing.”

With her eyes shut, she hadn’t noticed her sister reaching across to press a finger to her brow bone, right where the seam of her newest implant began, stopping just before it reached her eye socket. “Father said our modifications wouldn’t affect our memory.”

“It’s not the - ” Nebula’s eyes had flown open, abruptly slapping her hand out of her face. “I was taken before I was old enough to remember things. And...Father also says the mods will make me stronger. Better.”

“Better than what?”

Nebula had fixed her with a gaze so cold it sent shivers down her metallic spine. “Better than you.”

The sudden burst of startled cries coming from the Benatar’s common area pulled a reluctant Nebula to her feet, and she stepped out into the corridor to join the others (if nothing else, she wanted to shut them up). It was only when she reached the cockpit that she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her.

Her sister was stood with her back to everyone, staring out the front window wistfully despite them currently having an unimpressive view of Knowhere. She then rotated slowly on her heel to look around at her unfamiliar surroundings, momentarily glancing down at the seat that was hers, almost as if she inherently knew it was where she belonged. Her gaze then went to her sister, and her expression softened into an undeservingly warm smile. “Nebula.”

Nebula’s eyes flickered briefly to the others, who had since calmed down and were also now staring in stunned silence. Peter was understandably the only one who seemed to have adjusted to her presence, now sitting on the armrest of his seat and watching her carefully like he was expecting her to cut and run. “Don’t tell me Quill was the one who managed to lure you here,” she said, her tone lacking the bite it usually had.

“In a way,” she said, taking one tentative step closer. “I was reminded of who I was to you, to all of you. And I remembered something else, something Father told us when - ”

“Even now, with both mine and yours dead, we can never escape thinking of him, can we?” She shook her head, scoffing derisively. “Go on, then. Do tell us what false wisdom he had imposed on you.”

“You’re gonna wanna listen to this, Nebula,” Peter said. His voice was strangely subdued. “It’s a...a big ask. For us and for her.”

Nebula’s expression hardened, though she had to admit (only to herself, that is), she was intrigued. “Fine. What is it?” ______

The Benatar was eerily silent upon reaching “cruising altitude”, as Peter often called it for no particular reason, where everyone could step away from the controls and let the ship do the work. No one seemed sure of how to walk around or converse or even breathe with her sitting in her usual spot at the table, twirling her switchblade between her fingers. Her dark eyes roamed across their faces, scoping them out and sizing them up to the expectations Nebula and Peter had set in her mind. She maintained a stoicism in her expression and body language, the way Nebula had remembered from long ago, but her face crumpled into silent devastation when she looked at Peter. Nebula honestly wasn’t sure if she wanted to know why. Nearly everyone left the room soon after, unable to bear the tension in the air.

“You’re different than my Nebula,” she mused, her voice so soft that Nebula wasn’t sure if she had meant to say it out loud. “I’m not sure how, but...you are.”

“We are one and the same, just of a different time, and now, a different universe.” She glanced down at the floor. “Yours said Thanos wouldn’t let her change. There was a time when I thought the same thing.”

“So if she had more time...she would’ve become more like you?” She smiled sadly. “It’s a nice thought, though maybe too optimistic. She was also incredibly - ”

“Murderous?” Nebula interrupted. “As am I.” At her sister’s startled, somewhat uncomfortable laugh, she added, “I could tell you everything she ever felt. Contempt...for our father. Disgust...for our siblings. Uncertainty...about you. Until the end.”

She gestured for Nebula to sit with her, her smile turning into something a little friendlier once she did. Still, Nebula refused to meet her eyes. “Tell me more about you and I.”

“We started off exactly the same. We were taken from our families within months of one another, raised to be siblings because we were closer in age than any other child of Thanos.” The corners of Nebula’s mouth twitched in grim, satisfactory remembrance of how the Black Order had gone down in the final battle - the sound of Glaive’s cries as another’s spear went through him, the devastating shout of Obsidian as he was crushed by a foot twice the size of his entire body, and the silent resignation of both Proxima and Maw when they realized they couldn’t fight their fates. The justice of their deaths, for her, was only overshadowed by watching their father crumble to dust. “It was simple, really. Every time we fought, whoever lost would get a piece of them replaced, made new, made better. And while you craved power, I secretly wanted praise. It was how you became the deadliest woman in the galaxy, and how I became your shadow.”

“It was never about power,” she protested. “It was about survival.”

“No,” Nebula said, her voice low. “You didn’t just survive. You thrived, despite the circumstances. There was no mistaking why Father preferred you over our siblings, over me. Had you decided to take a different path, Xandar would have been destroyed long ago, the Guardians would have never existed, and the universe could have fallen apart long before it did.”

“Quill told me as much,” she murmured. She glanced briefly down the corridor at the door to the bunk she and Peter had shared. Then, she hesitated. “You think I have the capacity to become...what he was?”

“I would hate to see what you could become without your morality. But you’ve proven that in any universe...losing yourself to his ways is no easy feat.” They both went quiet in meditative contemplation. Nebula glanced down at her hand, the one she’d lost, burnt, damaged beyond repair over half a dozen times. It had stopped feeling like it belonged to her a long time ago - a hand was simply just a hand, her legs and arms and fingers and toes were all just attachments, not appendages. By comparison, her sister was far less modified, less scarred. The most prominent of her implants was still those in her skeleton, her skull, peeking out slightly in the markings along her forehead and cheekbones. Nebula, on the other hand, had moments where she couldn’t remember which parts of her were still her.

“So when I defected from Father...what happened to you?”

“I tried to get him to favor me. I tried to be as ruthless as you once were. I tried…” Nebula cleared her throat harshly. “...I tried to kill you, several times. I failed, of course. Yet somehow, despite everything...we found peace. Common ground. And then I left.”

“I couldn’t convince you to stay?” Her face fell.

“You tried. But I was convinced I could stop Thanos on my hand. That’s when he captured me, lured you in, and…” Nebula trailed off; the lump in her throat wasn’t going away. It was strange how some parts of her body functioned like a machine, and others still felt so incredibly human. “Rocket and I were the only ones left after the Decimation. He can be a nasty creature, but he proved himself to be...reasonable.”

She smiled ruefully. “It sounds like, at least for a time, that you two were friends.”

Nebula shook her head, adamant. “Friendship is not a word I use lightly. And yet...it would seem you are the exception.”

Wisely, she decided not to reply, and instead leaned back in her seat with a satisfied smile. This time, their silence was comfortable, only broken by the insistent beeping of the Benatar’s malfunctioning radar system as they went on their way. ______

Nebula stumbled out of the smoking remains of the escape pod she’d used to, well, escape her previous captors, an astonishingly stupid group of bounty hunters who found her stowed away on a transport ship and thought they could fetch a unit or two after turning her over to whoever happened to be after her that day. It took her a few seconds to even recognize where she was, shielding her eyes from the blinding sun to look up and around at the unusually tall trees that rocketed far past the clouds. Dervani, then, where she and her sister had trained as young warriors. She could work with that.

She rummaged through the wreckage for anything that might benefit her - wires, spare batteries, a scrap of food if she was lucky - before turning and stalking off in the direction of the nearest town. The planet was overrun with lush foliage, practically swallowing up the horizon in every which way, but she was well-versed enough to navigate her way back to civilization, find herself another ship, and with a little luck, be on her way to kill Thanos once more.

It had been two years since she left Quadrant, left her sister and her still-relatively newfound family behind, and yet she felt no closer to accomplishing her goal. She was finding it harder to locate Thanos than she thought, what with Sanctuary being falsely spotted in half a dozen places across the galaxy, and she didn't exactly have the resources to chase him at light speed. Frustration was wearing her thin, but her determination - and anger - was what kept her going.

Her communicator suddenly beeped, a harsh, sharp noise that instantly caused some bird-like creatures to flee the treetops, shrieking in fright. Cursing, Nebula quickly found shelter beneath a large palm plant and pulled the device out of her pocket. “I told you not to contact me for another two days.”

“Hello to you, too,” Gamora drawled. It was a voice call, so Nebula couldn’t see her face, but she could only imagine the sort of smug smirk she was currently wearing. “We’re en route to Naro-Atzia for an extraction job, so I won’t be able to keep in touch for the next week or so.”

“Good,” Nebula shot back. “That means a whole week where I won’t be on the receiving end of your incredibly condescending calls.”

“If you responded to my messages and assured me you were still alive, I wouldn’t have to call.”

“And if you continue to send me messages, I will burn my communicator to ash,” Nebula growled. To her dismay, her sister only let out a low chuckle, apparently amused by the emptiness of her words.

“So where are you? Have you gotten any closer?” she asked.

“Dervani, and no.” Nebula slumped against the base of the plant with a sullen scowl. “Now you’ve revealed yourself, sister. You only called to gloat.”

“I called to check on you, as I’ve said every time I’ve called,” she said firmly. “And...Dervani? I haven’t thought of that place in a really long time. Does it still smell of fruit?”

Nebula inhaled. The sharpness of her senses guided her to a nearby shrub nearly bursting with ripe fruit. She kept herself low in the tall grass as she crawled over to it so she could take one, turning it over in her hand for a moment to examine it for poison spots before taking a generous bite. Her stomach growled in appreciation. “Yes.”

“I remember how hungry and warm we were, the first day Thanos sent us there.” She made a soft, quiet noise that Nebula couldn’t quite identify. “I had a sprained ankle, and you had three broken fingers, but still, we were to prove our worth before we were allowed to eat.”

“I have no intention of exchanging sentiments over a time in which I hated you most.” Nebula’s stomach now bubbled unpleasantly with contempt. “All I remember is you throwing the fight so you could prove it was the only way I could win.”

“I threw the fight because we were starving, Nebula,” she snapped. “You don’t get to change history to fit your vendetta. I am not the cruel, conspiring sister you make me out to be. I cared for you more than you ever realized.”

“Then why didn’t you say so?!” Her voice rang clear across the forest; if there were any enemies nearby, they were now sure to know where she was. Then, quieter, “We can have this argument over and over again, but it will not change the fact that you cannot accept your own failures. I am not the one to blame for the state of our relationship.”

“Then you’re saying I’m the one to blame for you turning out the way you did?” Her voice was thick with emotion, on the verge of tears. “That I’m the one who tortured you, took you apart, bled you dry?”

Nebula’s reply was immediate. “Yes.” She looked at the barely-eaten fruit in her hand. It was starting to go sour in her mouth. “In a way.”

Her breath was so sharp that the communicator screeched out a mess of static in protest. “I won’t apologize for wanting to protect myself. But I will apologize for not being the sister you wanted me to be.” Another noisy inhale, clearly fighting back the sob that wanted to escape her throat by now. “Come back, Nebula. We can do this together. As friends, as sisters, as honest allies. The way we were meant to.”

“No, I...I don’t think I will.” Nebula ended the call before she could protest, tossing the communicator aside in frustration. She took another bite of the fruit but could only spit it out right after, unable to enjoy its sweetness. ______

Peter poked his head into the common area, unsure of whether it was safe for him to interrupt. “Hey, uh, we’re here. Landing in two minutes.” Both heads turned in his direction, then nodded once in complete silence. He nodded back, then turned and headed to the cockpit, feeling immensely awkward in a way he never usually did.

“You seem uncertain,” Nebula observed, watching the tension in her sister’s face, the rigidity of her brow. “I would be, too, if I were about to give up my existence for another’s.”

“I’m concerned about whether this is going to work at all,” she admitted. “Quill told me of your last encounter with the Sovereign. They sound extremely unlikely to help.”

“After our role in reversing the Decimation, there’s a possibility they will be more willing,” Nebula suggested. “Or...I will make them comply with our demands.”

She scoffed. “I doubt coercion will make them any more agreeable. Their pride, if nothing else, will keep them from helping.” She then softened. “Nebula, if this works...promise me you’ll tell her everything you’ve told me. Everything you experienced growing up together, everything you experienced while you were going after Thanos...every thought and feeling you ever had for her. You’ve been alone for long enough...let this burden us both.” She reached across and gripped Nebula’s hand urgently, her calloused fingers interlaced with Nebula’s mechanical ones. “Promise me. Promise me you will.”

Nebula stared into the face of a Gamora who wasn’t quite hers but had her ferocity all the same. She supposed that, had this happened years ago, she would have yanked her hand away, would have shouted, would have even spat in her face for even implying that all their problems could be solved with just conversation. But now, simply having the chance to talk again with the one she did know sounded like everything she thought they would never have.

“I promise, sister.” ______

a/n: I tend to write Gamora and Nebula's relationship as being told from the perspective of two somewhat unreliable narrators where they can't agree on who's to blame and what really happened, so they don't quite get the happy memories that the previous chapters had, but I think in the movie (and this fic) it is made clear how much they mean to each other by now, which makes my heart happy! The final part might be a bit late, as I have an assignment and a midterm coming up, plus conclusions in general tend to take a little longer for me to be satisfied with. Please bear with me if it's not posted by next Friday!

Thanks so much for reading, likes and reblogs would be much appreciated, and see you next time :)

#starmora #starmora fic #peter x gamora #gamora x peter #endgame spoilers #spoilers #myfic #myfic: bring it home #marvel #long post #line breaks don't seem to be working rip #also sorry if the read more doesn't work! text posts are all sorts of funky for me rn

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