#I went to the gym and couldn’t even do normal upper body because my neck and shoulders were so tense

[emblazons]

me, knowing my anxiety is at 300000 right now (because I had the most stressful week of my life the week before last, punctuated by my dad having a literal heart attack) watching my cat, who is only eating a little less than usual but otherwise behaving completely normal: you’re gonna die probably it’s time for the vet

[yuta-senpai]

Personal Trainer | Mingyu

- Genre: Smut. Mingyu x Female Reader

- Warnings: Choking, spit, oral (M & F receiving), daddy kink, squirting, and unprotected sex.

- Word Count: 2.7k

You stood outside the gym and knocked on the door.  You bit your lip when you saw your personal trainer walking towards you.  Your week had been busy so he agreed to do a personal session outside of normal hours.  He smiled as he opened the door, “Nice to see you doll.”

You smiled back, “Hey Mingyu.  Nice to see you too.”

He locked the door behind you and then reached out for your bag and you gave it to him.  You both walked towards the stretching section of the gym.  He sat your bag down on one of the benches since you were the only two people there.

“Since your week has been busy I bet I will have to stretch you really good before we start or you won’t be able to handle it.”

He smirked at you, and your face heated up.  You knew he meant it as just stretching but you couldn’t help that you thought dirty things.  

You sat down on the floor and sat your water bottle next to you.  He walked over to start the music, and you watched the way his sweats tightened around his ass when he bent over.  

The music started playing, it seemed more slow and sensual than usual.  He turned around and moved to sit down in front of you, “Let’s start with the basic warm-ups.”

You went through the basic normal stretches as he watched you closely.  After you were finished he smiled “Lay down doll.”

You laid back and he stood over you. “Knees to chest”

You pulled your knees to your chest and watched as he got on his knees and gripped your ankles.  He pulled your left leg out straight beside him, and slowly slid his right hand up from right below your ass to your inner knee, eyeing your body as he did.  

You shuddered at the feeling, he looked up at you, his eyes looking darker than normal.  He pushed down stretching your leg, he held you there for a moment.  He straightened your right leg out, and placed his right hand on your ankle and left on your upper thigh, dangerously close to your core.  He scooted closer and pushed your legs stretching them farther.  He moved his knee forward a bit and let it brush against your core, you took a deep breath in and shuddered.  Was he doing this on purpose or were you just hyper aware of his movements because you two were alone.  He moved his knee back and you continued the leg stretches.  

After you were finished he stood up and offered you his hand, “We are gonna stand up for the final pose doll.”

You took his hand, and he helped you up, pulling you close to this body he stared into your eyes and smiled.  You instinctively placed your hand on his chest and bit your lip.  He looked down to your lips, then quickly flipped you around your back against his chest.  “Go into the downward dog yoga pose. Hands on the floor, and ass up.”

Your face flushed, he knew you knew yoga but you never had used the poses in your stretching routine.  You went to step forward to give yourself room but he grabbed your waist, stopping you.  You giggled “Jeez you like to feel that much you can’t even give me room to bend over?”

He rolls his eyes and you bend forward placing your hands on the floor, your ass pressed against his crotch.

You noticed the way he lightly pushed himself against you then backed away.  He stood next to you and ran his hand up your back straightening it out.

You held the downward dog pose for around 2 minutes then he had you stop.  He looked a little flustered, and you couldn’t help but notice that it looked like he had a slight hard-on, his grey sweatpants doing little to cover it.

He rubbed the back of his head nervously then led you to finish your reps for your arms and legs.  After about an hour you were finally finished with all of your reps.  Throughout the entire workout, he would let his hands linger on you or you would catch him eyeing you.  It was about to drive you insane. You were sitting on the bench where you had just been sitting lifting weights and he was standing next to the weight rack.  If you left you knew that this opportunity might never happen again but what if you misread his intentions and ruined everything.

Biting your lip you stared into his eyes, but he looked down at your lips for a brief moment and took in a long breath.

You figure he was considering the options right now just like you were.  He stepped forward, “You did a good job tonight my doll.”

You couldn’t help but notice the addition of the word ‘my’.

“Ahh thank you Mingyu, it was because you were there to help me.”

You looked down as he got close to you.  He hovered over you now, lifting his hand he gripped your chin and tilted your head up to look at him.  His gaze locking onto your, your lips parted on instinct and he looked down at them.  

“Can I kiss you my doll?”

“Please Mingyu.”

He smiled then leaned down, connecting his lips with yours.  Your body lit up and at that moment all you needed was him.

He pulled you up to stand, and then sat down where you had been sitting, pulling you into his lap.  You could feel his hard-on pressing into your thigh.  A soft whimper left your lips as he kissed down your jawline to your neck.  

He stopped, “Before I continue, I need your full consent because once I start I won’t be able to stop.”

You held onto Mingyu’s jaw and looked at him, “I consent, I want you just as much Mingyu.”

Leaning down you kissed him, and wrapped his arms around your waist, and took in a sharp breath.

“I have been wanting you for a long time doll, but never wanted to overstep my boundaries.”

You smiled against his lips, happy to know he felt the same way as you.

He leaned back against the bench pulling you down with him.  He chuckled “We really shouldn’t fuck in the middle of the gym.  I don’t think the security cameras should see this, I can get a bit… rough.”

You blushed, “Rough?  I like it rough.”

He ran his hands down your back and gripped your ass in his hands. “I’ll give it to you rough then.  But if you can’t walk tomorrow don’t blame me, you chose this.”

He tapped your leg “Get up doll.”

You sat up and smiled, he raised his eyebrow “Stand up, all the way.”

Standing up, he stood up next to you, towering over you.  He gripped your neck and pushed you until the back of your knees hit the weight bench.

“Sit.”

You sat, his hand still pushing against your carotid artery restricting the blood to your head making you light-headed.

“Tap my arm once if you want me to loosen and twice if you want me to let go completely.”

You did your best to nod, he smirked “Such a good girl.  Now open that pretty mouth for me.”

Letting your mouth open he hovered over you and then he opened his mouth letting his saliva drip down his tongue into your mouth.  “Swallow it my doll.”

You swallowed his saliva and sat there panting, it was so dirty and sensual and you craved more.  He smirked “So dirty just for me.

He gripped your hair in his left hand, his right hand tightening around your neck.  A strangled moan left your lips.  He released his grip on your neck, still gripping your hair.  “Pull my sweats down.”

Your fingers hooked onto the waistband of his sweats and you slowly pulled them down along with his underwear, his member was about free.

He chuckled, “I just asked you to pull my sweats down, that eager for it doll?”

“Of course Mingyu.”

A growl left his lips, “Right now you call me daddy, understood?”

You but your lip, “Understood… Daddy.”

He moaned when the name ‘daddy’ left your lips.  

“Go ahead take it out, and suck it.”

You pulled his sweats and boxers all the way down, fully exposing his member to you.  

He was long and thick. “Like what you see doll?”

You licked your lips “Of course daddy, you are so big.”

Gripping his member in your right hand you traced your tongue across the vein on the underside of his member.

He sucked in a deep breath, “Fuuuuck baby doll.”

You looked him in the eyes as you took the head into your mouth, running your tongue along the sensitive nerves connecting the head and shaft.  He groaned and gripped your hair tighter.  “I really wanna fuck that pretty little mouth of yours.”

You moved your hand from his member, relaxed your jaw, and looked at him giving him permission to do just that.

He slowly rolled his hips forward, only pushing in a little ways before pulling back out and rolling back in.  He was testing to see if you could handle it, and when he realized you could he picked up his pace.

He suddenly pushed himself down deep, a bulge forming on your throat from his member.  He held there and groaned loudly.  You swallowed around him and slightly gagged.  He pulled all the way out a string of saliva connecting between your lips and his member.  You gasped for air and smiled, wiping the saliva from your lips.

“So beautiful, and so perfect my doll.”

You smiled softly at him, unsure if you could even speak right now.  He placed his hand on your shoulder.  “Since you were so good I will just have to return the favor.”

He crouched down to your level and slid his hands up under your shirt, pulling it over your head.  He pulled your sports bra off as well, leaving your chest completely bare to him.  His left hand gripped your breast as he placed slow kisses from right above the slope of your breast to the nipple.  

His tongue circled around your hardening nipple as his left hand pinched the other one, causing you to moan loudly.  His lips and tongue danced around your nipples before he kissed down your stomach and hovered over the waistband of your pants.

“Move to the end doll.”

You did as he said and leaned back against the weight bench, he kneeled at the end of the bench and pulled your pants all the way off, leaving you just in your panties.

His warm breath was close to you as if he was taking a moment to breathe you in.  Pushing up on your elbows, he locked eyes with you as he rubbed his thumb across your clit making you jerk.  He smirked and did the motion again, eliciting another moan from you.  

Gripping onto the waistband of your panties he ripped them off and you whined “Why did you have to rip them?”

He chucked, “You said you wanted it rough doll.”

He placed your legs on his shoulder, then gripped your hips and pulled you closer to the end of the bench.  You gasped but he quickly turned that into a moan when he licked from your core up to your clit.  His eyes stayed fixed on yours as his tongue swirled around your already swollen clit.  His tongue flicked up against a particularly sensitive area making you moan out, he stayed licking that spot making your legs shake, you wanted to move away because it was too much but he held you down not allowing you to move.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you saw stars, an immense wave of pleasure washed over you, your body almost convulsing from the pure pleasure.  After you rode out your high you looked down to see the front of Mingyu’s shirt wet and his chin, his eyes wide “D-did you know you could squirt?”

Your face flushed, “No I never have before.”

A smile covered his face “Fuck that was hot.”

He wiped his chin then slipped his middle finger and ring finger into his mouth, coating his fingers with his saliva.  “Wonder if I can make your squirt again.”

You whimpered, “I don’t know, let’s see if you can daddy.”

He bit his lip as he slid his fingers inside of you, stretching you out.  He started off slowly pumping them in and out, he then curled his fingers up rubbing against your g-spot.  You moaned loudly and gripped his arm, he leaned forward, hovering over you watching your expressions as he continued to rub against your g-spot.

Your face twisted up in pleasure as his thumb rubbed circles on your clit at the same time.  He leaned down, almost level with your ear. “Cum for me doll.”

With those words another wave of pleasure washed over you as you tightened around his fingers, your body shook as you gripped onto his arm and moaned out his name.  Ragged breaths left your body as you tried to come back from your high.  You felt soft lips against yours, and you opened your eyes to see Mingyu looking at you happily.  “You are just too perfect doll.  I want to always be the reason you feel this way.”

Your face flushed and you pulled him down and kissed him again.

He backed away and sighed “Sadly I do not have a condom so I think we will have to stop at this.”

You bit your lip “Are you clean?”

His eyes widened “Umm, yes. Are you?”

Smiling, “Yes, and I’m on birth control.  Just fuck me already daddy.”

His eyes darkened, then he pulled his shirt over his head.  “As you wish my doll.”

Lining himself up with your core, he stared into your eyes then slid himself into you.  A low groan leaving his lips and a moan leaving yours.  He placed your legs around his hips and stayed still letting you adjust to his size.  After just a few moments you gripped his right arm “Please move daddy.”

He gripped at our hips and pulled almost all the way out before slamming back into you.  He was definitely the rough and deep type of lover.  His hips moved quickly in and out of you as you struggled to not slide up the bench.  You reached above your head and gripped onto edges of the bench holding yourself in place, your breasts bouncing with each thrust.  He groaned and gripped your left breast in his right hand, squeezing the nipple between his fingers.

His left hand massaging your clit.  Your senses were overloaded with all that was happening.  “Cum for me again doll.”

He changed the angle of his hips so he was thrusting up against your g-spot more, with that it sent you over the edge.  Your back arched up off the bench as white filled your eyes, your legs shook, your entire body shook underneath him from the pleasure.  He slowed his thrusts down and he went to pull out to cum.  But your legs were wrapped too tightly around his waist, and you were too lost in ecstasy to know.  He groaned and gripped your waist tightly as he filled you up with his cum, the feeling alone almost causing another orgasm to wash over you.

You laid there trying to catch your breath, you looked up and noticed his abs were wet “You squirted again doll.  Also, I’m sorry I finished inside, you had me locked down.”

You blushed, “Shit I’m sorry.”

He wiped the sweat from his forehead “It’s okay doll.  I’ll forgive you and won’t punish you since you squirted again.”

You both laughed and he pulled out, his cum sliding from inside you.  He gathered it onto his finger and slide it back inside.  You whimpered due to oversensitivity.  “Sorry I just had to do that.”

He reached for a towel and cleaned you before pulling you to his chest.

“Let’s get cleaned up, and I will take you to go get some food.”

He kissed you softly before picking you up bridal style and carrying you to the showers.

[krnsluvvie]

look my way!

summary: you’re in love with one of your best friends, great. the fear of rejection and despair bring you to the very edge of cowardice and before you know it, you’ve lost him to someone who was a bit braver. 

pairing(s): iwaizumi hajime x reader, platonic matsukawa x reader, platonic oikawa x reader, platonic hanamaki x reader; Seijoh 3rd years besties w reader (basically a friendship fic with angst in the background lol)

genre: angst, fluff, crackheadassery

word count: 8.7k

warnings: unspoken feelings, reader is a coward, gratuitous amount of hugging for no apparent reason

a/n: GRRRRR i hope you’ll enjoy reading! 

( *L/N = last name, F/N = first name)

masterlist

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The grand doors to the Aoba Johsai High School barely scrape your elbow as you run through the gap straight to your class, running late and soaked in the rain. 

Morning was pretty eventful to say the least - not only had you wrongly set the alarm (somehow changing AM to PM) and completely forgotten to do some revising, but you also had not checked the forecast beforehand to prepare yourself for the brutal attack of raindrops that came your way. Bothered? Perhaps, but you couldn’t afford a walk back home for the umbrella, for you’d be more late than you already are. 

As you set foot into your classroom, everyone turns their head towards you, all kinds of expressions visible on their faces — from astonishment to disgust - all of it and all in-between. 

You simply ignore their gazes as you take a seat behind the only person you’re relatively close to — Iwaizumi. You both share a friend circle: there’s Oikawa, Iwaizumi’s childhood friend whose annoyance pushes all of you onto the edge of a cliff, Matsukawa and Hanamaki whose jokes and presence make your life a little bit brighter. As much as you love all of them equally, there’s a different feeling when it comes to Iwaizumi. It was felt back then and it is felt now. And frankly said, you don’t really know where that leads you. 

You and Iwaizumi talk sometimes - although it revolves mostly around schoolwork (as you both have the exact same classes). But it’s enough for you. It always is. Your friends pointed that years ago - how you seem to ‘favor’ him. You smacked the back of their heads. 

“L/N,” Iwaizumi turns around to greet you, only to be met with a frown and wrinkles across your forehead… oh, yes, and the badly camouflaged dark circles that lay beneath your tired eyes. You’re standing there, messenger bag draped across your body, your hair wet and the droplets dripping all over the uniform jacket.  

Before neither you nor Iwaizumi could say anything, the teacher enters the classroom. You raise your hand almost immediately and excuse yourself to the restroom. He quirks up an eyebrow at you and upon noticing your horrendous state, he curtly nods. You were quite lucky to have him arrive a tad later than usual. 

Now that you’re standing in front of the mirror, you notice just how horrible and indecent you look. You subtly shake your head and wash your face under the running tap water, not caring if it would wash off the half-assed attempt at masking fatigue. It was snippets like this when you realized how grateful you are for the times your mom still had the urge to wake you up at exact hours repeatedly, every day; it became your habit. So, it was the hunch, the inkling that something wasn’t right when your alarm didn’t go off like it normally would. You jerked up so fast it could’ve given you whiplash. 

The universe seemed to hate you and you knew it. But somehow still, your luck has pushed forward and through, and instead of being soaked wet from top to bottom, you ended up with only the upper part of your body. The weather must’ve had mercy on you as well, as it started raining half-way on your way to school. 

You splash your face with water. Over and over, and over again. It won’t alleviate the heat when you think back to your luck. You might be lucky… but not in the ways you want to.

---

“I heard your morning was rough,” is the first thing Oikawa says to you as you enter the gym. Why you thought becoming a manager was a good idea is beyond you. You thought of quitting numerous of times but then there was this small voice in the back of your mind telling you to just ‘suck it up and enjoy it while you can’ (with the addition of ‘it’s the last year with your friends before you part ways’ that has been bothering you for some months now). You were holding on because you didn’t want to let go of them completely, not yet. It might’ve been only 3 years since you’ve gotten to know them, but the way they’ve grown on you is just baffling. Baffling, yet plausible. 

You set your mouth in a straight line and nod regardless. 

Oikawa’s teasing smile disappears from his face, “Did I say—”

You sharply inhale and shake your head. “It’s all good. If you need anything, just call me or something.” Oikawa catches your wrist before you can go any further and looks you deadly in the eyes. You hate this look so much because it’s a way of getting information out of you (in your case, it’s your love life that they love to interfere in for no apparent reason). “Is this about Iwa-chan again?” 

As if on cue, Matsukawa and Hanamaki appear by each of Oikawa’s side and look at you expectantly. Cool, what are you supposed to do now? Lie? “Of course not. I just really had a shitty morning. You even said it first.”

“Okay,” Oikawa hums. You notice how both Matsukawa and Hanamaki are staying eerily quiet. “And you were avoiding him for what reason, then?”

Of course you weren’t going to lie?! Because they would have called your bullshit out anyway. “I wasn’t avoiding him…” Oikawa sends you a glare and you subconsciously wince. 

“I just needed some time figuring stuff out, I think.”

Matsukawa puts a hand on your shoulder, “L/N, how long have you liked this guy?”

“Imagine liking Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki butts in. Oikawa fist bumps him and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Are those really the ones you’ll be spilling your guts to regarding your love life? Crazy shit. 

“Uh, um, since first year, I believe?” You might’ve told them that you had a crush on Iwaizumi but you never specified since when and how big of a crush it was. 

When those words rolled off your tongue, you knew that it barely was a crush anymore.

And it seems like the guys knew it, too - you could tell especially by their widened eyes. You check the time on your left wrist and leave no room for any of them to comment anything by yelling, “Practice starts in 10!” And so, you shake off the grasp Oikawa had on your wrist and get into the ‘indifferent L/N’ mode. 

You notice Iwaizumi making his way into the gym, changed into his sports clothes and you can’t help but feel the fluttering slowly increase in your stomach. Why is it so intense today? You accidentally lock eyes with him and you turn your gaze away so fast you would have snapped your neck.

---

Practice felt insufferably long. You noticed the team’s improvement as a whole, except —as much as you don’t like to admit it— Iwaizumi who seemed a little bit more aloof than usual. His spikes, though, were as powerful as ever, you noted. As you shouldered all the necessary bags and helped the team with cleaning the equipment, Iwaizumi tapped on your shoulder, sweat trickling down his temples. His cheeks were reddened from all the jumps and spikes. “Can we talk later? I’ll… wait for you.” You widened your eyes. Your mind was screaming at you to say No, or even some type of excuse - as long as you didn’t have to face him. Much to your dismay, “Yes,” was what you let out while walking forward to the exit to the secretary. You couldn’t afford looking at him directly, who knows what would happen then, had you had stolen a glance.

On your way back to the gym to retrieve your belongings, you met Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki by the exit. You sent them a glare and went past them. “You shouldn’t waste your time. Do it while you still can.” Oikawa said as he left. Matsukawa and Hanamaki sent you a sympathetic smile before following right after him. “You’re not waiting for Iwaizumi?”

“He said he was gonna talk to you!” The thought of strangling Oikawa felt just right at the moment.

So, this is it. 

Iwaizumi is looking anywhere but at you. Honestly said, if you hadn’t known better, you would’ve deemed him as the silent and shy type of guy who would shut his mouth rather than voice his own opinions. But, you do know him better and you know that’s exactly what he’s not and, you can’t help but feel envious at the thought - he was never the type to not call out any of you guys’ bullshit. 

So, it doesn’t surprise you when you hear him say, “L/N,” you sharply inhale. “Is there something wrong? Or, like, did I do something wrong?”

You draw your bottom lip between your teeth. You want to blame all the feelings on him; it’s his fault for being the way he is, his fault for acting the way he does, his fault for making you fall head over heels for him - a fact you never dared voicing out until recently. Ultimately, you shake your head and say, “What makes you say that?” 

Mental facepalm.

Iwaizumi laughs, you can’t really tell if he meant it or if it was done out of a sarcastic manner, “Hm, aside from avoiding me all the classes and glaring at the back of my head all day, I don’t think anything in particular happened.”

You let a small smile overtake your features. “Oh, well, I did have a shitty morning. But at the same time I don’t want to blame it all on it and I’m sorry it came out the way you perceived it, and-”

Iwaizumi catches you by your shoulders and looks you so tenderly in the eyes you feel like melting from it. You look away as he says, “L/N, you’re ranting.”

You steal a glance at him and notice how his hair is messy from practice and how his cheeks are still pink-dusted. You slowly feel the redness wash over your own cheeks and you ignore the warmth that leaves you when you push Iwaizumi away. “You dumbass, you didn’t do anything wrong, so it’s all good.”

Iwaizumi tilts his head to the side. You sure? You nod and make your way towards the school gates. “Iwaizumi,” you call out, “I glare at you every single day. I’m baffled you realized now!” He catches up to you and ruffles your hair.

“Oh, you’ll be regretting those words.” He slings an arm over your shoulder as you two walk the same path home. Your heart beats a little louder and you internally berate yourself for that. You keep reminding yourself that the boundary between you two must be visible. And even if you crossed a millimeter, you’d be sure to compensate for it - whether that took lunch break spent under the bleachers, or missed practice because you ‘felt sick’ that day.

You were a coward. You were such a coward.

---

Three months later, you’re found in the library with Matsukawa. He needed help with explaining some school stuff you understood and thus, how your study date was born. You prop your chin in the palm of your left hand, the other hand twirling with a pen you found in your pencil case. You look into the distance and your gaze lands on the huge bookshelves, and you wonder if you could find an interesting book to read.

“- do I use a comma here or not?” Matsukawa asks. You hurriedly turn to him, your face softening as you ask him to reiterate the question. You knew it was probably a bad idea to stay after school and help your friend - since you’ve been unfocused and grumpy the whole school day; this session would only add more fuel to the fire. But, then you thought back to all the times when he helped you and you felt bad for not doing anything in return. 

“Uh, let me see,” you say as you grab his textbook to go over the sentence he was struggling with. Matsukawa immediately retrieves the textbook from your hands and, with a puff, closes it. Not so softly.

“L/N,” Matsukawa sighs, you notice how his hands are folded atop the textbook. “Just why are you doing this to yourself?” His voice is soft despite what he’s said. “Mattsun, we’re not here for—”

Under the intense stare he gives you, you recoil and say, “I mean, he’s going out with someone already, no? Why would I ruin that now?”

Matsukawa massages his temples and looks you dead in the eyes, his hands clasping over yours. “L/N, you’re being ridiculous now. Just look at how miserable you are!” He fixes his gaze elsewhere, the grip he has on your hands tighten a bit and you sigh in relief. He’s telling you he’s here for you. “It hurts seeing you like this, you know? The guys might not show it but, they’re hurting as much as you are. But you know it’s not our thing to say nor even our business to interfere in.”

You grin, “Fancy of you saying this while interfering in my nonexistent love life.”

Matsukawa snickers and lets go of your hand. “It’s not that nonexistent.”

You’ve always known that out of all the guys, you were a tad closer to Matsukawa. How it came to that point, you don’t really know but even without having to say it out loud, you both knew you could trust each other. You give him a smile and a reassuring nod. You’re here for him, too.

Later that night, you receive a message from Iwaizumi. The temptation to ignore it was so strong yet, somehow, you find yourself clicking on his contact and read over the message. 

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> L/N! emergency! what do I wear on a formal date, the first or the second one? respond asap pls

You regret… You regret clicking on the message because it hurts - knowing there’s someone who can potentially make him happy, someone that Iwaizumi will come home to, someone that can be his forever. Above all, though, what hurts the most is that you brought all this pain upon yourself.

You look at the attached pictures: in the first one, Iwaizumi’s wearing a basic black suit, with a white dress shirt underneath the blazer and dark pants that reach above his ankles. The second is more ‘daring’ - he’s sporting a blue jean jacket with a hoodie beneath it and black jeans. You snicker at it, is this really what he considers wearing to the aforementioned formal date?

To: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

< iwaaaaa ur not serious about the second one r u?

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Lmao who do you take me for? Ofc not!

 To: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

<  what was the reason then ?!?!!

 From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Bored and wanted to talk to you.

Before you could respond, though, another notification pops up on your phone, signaling someone’s messaged you, or more like, the group chat.

From: Oikawa [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> lmaoooo yall heard? iwa-channn is going to a wedding. now place ur bets on how long it will take him to fuck sumn up

 From: Makki [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> five dollars for less than an hour

 From: Mattsun [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> Stfu (read: 5 bucks for less than two hours we gotta have faith in him cmon)

 From: Iwaizumi [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> Just why.

Oh, this is the formal date? They must’ve gotten real close if Iwaizumi will be his date’s date.

You click on the chat with Iwaizumi.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> And the guys, I guess.

Another message incoming.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Lol, don’t you just love jinxing yourself?

You send him laughing emojis. You two end up texting for some more minutes before that turns into a call and just hearing him talk about something that makes him happy is enough for you. You notice that whenever it comes to Iwaizumi, everything suddenly seems sufficient. 

You both end up talking about miscellaneous things - one of them being his date. He tells you about how he met her (through Oikawa as the date attends the same class) and what exactly led to the point where they were now. You knew he was seeing someone but hearing it directly from him made you want to rip your hair off and yell slurs at yourself, and cry into your duvets and —

And what? You need to face the reality - you’re too late now.

“L/N?” Iwaizumi asks through the phone, his voice sounding weary and tinny. You rub your eyes and yawn. “Iwaizumi, we should go to sleep. I wouldn’t want to run late to tomorrow’s date!” You try to sound as cheerful as possible. Your voice cracked at the last bit but it seems that Iwaizumi brushed it off as drowsiness. “Right. Well, thanks for talking to me, dumbass.”

“Who are you calling a dumbass? Look at you, thanking your friend for talking to you. That’s ridiculous.” 

“Look at the ungodly time, dumbass.” You do, the clock reads 2:32AM. 

“Shut up, just sleep.” And you hang up. 

You notice another message.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> I meant it, L/N. Thanks

You smirk.

To: [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

<  five dollars it will take less than thirty minutes

 From: Oikawa [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> GASP game on b

A day after the date, you all gather at your and Iwaizumi’s joined desks. “So,” Oikawa starts, scrolling on his phone through the numerous posts. “Little birdie posted something and tagged Iwa-chan in it! Let’s see!”

Oikawa places the phone in the middle for everyone to see and clicks on her latest post.

The caption reads: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, it took him 28 minutes to bang his head into the stand!’  Oikawa scrolls through the pictures where the said stand was not as straight as it should be. More pictures show him standing next to his date, his smile vibrant and eyes twinkling with happiness. You notice how Iwaizumi’s smile grows bigger each time Oikawa swipes to the left. It is a sequence where he and his date look at each other with so much adoration you have to bite the inside of your cheek to not break down right then and there.

“I can’t believe you dragged my girlfriend into this.” Oikawa visibly gasps, quickly stealing a glance at you and you dare say you caught the slight look of pity in the pools of his eyes. You look away. Even Hanamaki —who enjoys teasing the hell out of you— sends you a look of indescribable mix of emotions and you just brush it off by rolling your eyes at him. You can’t lie that the tears pricking your eyes aren’t present because oh, well, they are. 

“Congratulations!” You find yourself saying a tad louder than you intended to. The three of them look at you with widened eyes, quizzical looks on their faces. You lock eyes with Matsukawa and you nod, silently telling him that you know, you know, you know. 

The ambience in the classroom gets a little bit more suffocating. “If you’ll excuse me,” you say as you make your way towards the restrooms. Why can’t you just be happy for him? Why do you hold on to something so… trivial? Do you want to lose what you already have? You repeatedly splash water over your face. 

I’m a mess, you whisper to yourself as you notice the puffy red eyes and run your hands along your cheekbones. You’re ready to curse the universe for treating you like shit because as much as you are aware of the situation, you don’t deserve to feel this way.

However, despite all of this, you know that in the end, you have no one but yourself to blame.

---

Seconds, hours, days, weeks go by and graduation seems closer than ever. Naturally, all of you have become more busy with preparing for the exams. As much as you hate to admit it, you miss them. 

It felt good the first few days; you had them off your back and you didn’t have to deal with their bullshit you’ve grown accustomed to (for some reason, and very much to your dismay). But recently, you’ve been feeling empty and you haven’t been talking that much - though, not that you minded. Typically, you four would spend the sunny afternoons in your backyard, black-tinted sunglasses protecting your eyes from the scorching hot sun. You would stuff yourselves with too much ice cream, jelly sticks of all flavors and too many yogurt drinks that had no right tasting so good. 

Once inside the house, Oikawa would lie on the table, fanning himself with the poor excuse of a textbook, Hanamaki and Matsukawa would solve like one and a half math problems and then rest on the table, too, cheeks pressed against the cold surface. Iwaizumi would prepare snacks and you’d help him with that. 

You’d notice the way he talks so mindlessly when it came to the things he liked: it being volleyball or Agedashi Tofu. You’d play some music in the background as the two of you would work on preparing the snacks. You’d feel just how dangerously close you two are when he leans over your body to retrieve a cup from the shelf. You’d be hyper aware of everything and that was one of the things you loved and hated simultaneously.

So it was quite a surprise to get a call in the middle of your study session. 

You slide to the right with your thumb, accepting the call. “L/N! My favourite person!”

“Cut the bullshit, Oinks. You need something?” You press the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you decide to cut up some fruit. “Actually, I don’t need anything.” You frown, then why did he call you? To waste your precious time? “I just wanted to let you know that the guys will be picking you up in,” a momentary pause, “like five minutes because we’ve missed you and you deserve a break from studying.”

You nearly yell at him but instead, you say, “I hate you.”

“Aw, I can feel the love!” You roll your eyes. Then comes silence. The sweet, bitter, hung-up-in-the-air silence that circles around you in vexing motions, driving you crazy.

“Look, about Iwaizumi’s relationship-”

You gasp, “Iwaizumi.” You mockingly repeat. Oikawa sighs on the other line. Right, no time for jokes. “L/N, his girlfriend makes him really happy. I honestly don’t know why I’m telling you this,” you don’t know either, “but I know you’re a good person and you wouldn’t want to ruin that. And, I know you hate people who pity you but I still feel the need to apologize-”

“You’re so embarrassing, I can’t believe you. Why should you apologize for something that was not even your fault?”

“Hm, kinda like a best friend’s duty, I dare say.” You laugh - this one’s legitimately genuine. “You can be, uh, bearable sometimes.” Oikawa guffaws so loudly you have to put your phone away from you to not get an ear-rape. “I’ll use that against you, ugly.”

“Just say you love me and go,” You jokingly say, not expecting the latter to say the words. 

“Now, say it back,” he whines. All you let out, though, is an incomprehensible screech and a ‘See you there!’, and end the call. 

Subconsciously, you might just have said them.

The doorbell resounds throughout the whole house and you run to the front door, peeping through the hole to see who decided to pay you a visit. You see Hanamaki and Matsukawa waving at you.  

You open the door, the wind sending a refreshing swoosh to your hair and you smile upon seeing the two boys before you. “You look kinda scary when you smile,” Matsukawa says as you threaten to hit him with your palm outstretched. Hanamaki doesn’t seem unfazed by your antics as he asks,“Oikawa probably called you, no?”  

You nod and get out of the doorway so that they can enter the house. “As usual, make yourself at home and you can steal some cut fruit in the kitchen.” 

Five minutes later, you descend the stairs in your jogging pants and short-sleeved shirt. They didn’t tell you where you were going so you went with something casual yet comfortable.

Putting on your shoes, you lock the front door and catch up to the two that went ahead. You notice how both of them are wearing casual clothes as well - but unlike someone, they had the formality to at least wear jeans. You’re walking by Hanamaki’s left side, flanking him with Matsukawa on the other. “So, where are you two dragging me?”

Hanamaki turns to you and with a saccharinely sweet smile and elbows you lightly in the ribs. “It’s a secret~” You return the gesture with a little more strength than you wanted - hence, Hanamaki unintentionally pushing into Matsukawa’s side, nearly flying him into the fence of someone’s house if he hadn’t braced himself for the impact. 

“Wow, L/N, if you’re mad, just tell us, damn,” Hanamaki rubs his ribs, dramatically hissing in pain. You roll your eyes but apologize regardless. “You good, Mattsun?” He nods at your question and you send him a contrite look of sorts. 

“Is it just me or have you gotten a bit more aggressive?” Hanamaki nudges into your shoulder and you send him a questioning look - brows furrowed and a bottom lip tucked between your teeth. “Huh?”

Hanamaki sighs, “I don’t know, ever since Iwaizumi announced his relationship or whatever, you’ve been tense around him… avoiding him, too.Us, too… kinda.”

You look into the distance, noticing a building that you know all too well, “You know, Makki, you seem to notice a lot of things despite your unattentive nature.”

“I am,” Hanamaki inhales theatrically, “offended.”

 “As you should be, honestly.” Matsukawa elbows him in the ribs. Hanamaki turns to him, “Just because L/N hurt my ribs from the left side doesn’t mean the right side needs to be damaged, too!”

“You spend too much time with Oikawa,” You tsk, letting out an airy laugh. 

“Don’t tell me we’re gonna have to sit through Oikawa’s karaoke session again,” You slap your forehead. You knew that the two boys you are currently with didn’t propose this idea - if anything, they must’ve been forced into this… as would be you and Iwaizumi. Of course. It’s a tradition after all.

“Yep,” Matsukawa shrugs. “But look on the bright side, you can yell whatever to appease your anger you’ve been bottling up.” You glare at him and he raises both of his hands up in mock-surrender.

Hanamaki catches your wrist and motions Matsukawa to enter the building first. He complies. “Listen, we just want the squad back on its good terms, so we’ll hope you’ll talk it out today.” You slowly nod, ready to take off to the building behind Matsukawa. “One more thing,” Hanamaki loosens the grip on your wrist. “Remember that Iwaizumi was a friend first before he was your first love.”

You stiffen. Were those the words you’d always needed to hear but they’d never occurred to you? Iwaizumi was a friend first before he was your first love. 

Something clicks. 

How could you have been so selfish; wallow in your self-pity, run in circles because all you could do was to remind yourself that this was your fault, your reality now? How could you have been so reckless, risking years of friendship on the line?

“You coming?” Hanamaki yells, palms cupped around his mouth. You nod, slowly reaching the building. 

---

Five karaoke sessions (and a very enthusiastic Oikawa-singing) later, you plump down on the couch, wiping the perspiration off your forehead. It’s tiring - watching Oikawa giving his all to convey the right feelings into the song. You must admit, he sure is passionate; it’s almost as if you were watching him play volleyball - except with a mic in his hand instead that he wouldn’t throw around… hopefully. 

As the song nears its end, you all let out a breath of relief, a mix of annoyance, boredom, and tiredness hanging in the stuffy air. You let yourself sink further into the sofa, hoping it could swallow you whole and erase your existence. 

Okay, maybe you should tone down being so pessimistic.

“How was I?” Oikawa asks, eyes sparkling. His hair is unkempt from all the unnecessary movements he made during the climax of the song and his cheeks are painted a rosy hue - you note even with the flashing lights casting every color across his face. 

You smirk, “Not bad.” 

Oikawa frowns at your response, tightening his grip on the mic. “What do you mean ‘not bad’? After everything I’ve done for you? I see how it is, you’re gonna hear me sing again—”

You steal a glance at Iwaizumi. You notice how he’s staring at the door, probably wishing he were anywhere else but here. Hanamaki comes into your line of sight and you motion him to do anything to catch Iwaizumi’s attention, thus Hanamaki getting buried alive as he slaps the back of Iwaizumi’s head. He glowers at Hanamaki, already rolling up his sleeves.

Hanamaki points in your direction and you catch Iwaizumi’s green eyes that glisten a little bit brighter in the excessively flashing-lit room. With your thumb, you point to the exit and he nods, a look of relief washes over his features.

Once outside the suffocating room, you inhale the fresh air. Summer is just around the corner and even though it was your favourite season, you can’t help but indulge yourself in the chilliness before it changes its course for the next three months.

“Uh, good day, yeah?” Iwaizumi shoves his hands into his jeans’ front pockets, admiring the gravelly ground. He’s put some distance between you two.

“Sure, if being forced into this activity with Oikawa is a good thing.” 

Iwaizumi chuckles, “It’s our thing, L/N, and you know it.” You nod and purse your lips in a straight line because well, he made it awkward for no reason. Or was it you for saying something so obvious?

“How are the exam preparations coming along? Dream college or something like that?” You fiddle with the hem of your shirt, looking past Iwaizumi’s shoulder at passersby.

“Could be better but so far no mental breakdowns.” You can hear the sarcasm laced in his voice as he speaks. “Was thinking about sports science ‘cause you know, it hurts me to watch athletes injure themselves.”

“Hajime, you’re a good person.” The words tumble out of your lips before you can stop yourself; it felt too unnatural to not say it. Iwaizumi barks a laugh. “You, too, F/N.”

You grin, “Obviously.” If you truly meant it or not, you didn’t know.

Comfortable ambience surrounds you both as you let the wind carry out the unsaid words. 

You were never a person of many words - you’ve alway been a little too blunt, a little too hotheaded, a little too selfish. Although in most of the cases you were not aware, it was about damn time you got your head out of your ass and looked around yourself.

“I’m sorry.” You mutter, hoping it would cover all the damage you caused (and fully knowing that would not be the case).

Iwaizumi looks up, eyes searching yours. He quirks his eyebrow in a silent question. 

You reconsider your words. “I’m sorry for not spending that much time with you. I know we’re not bound to each other or anything but I just felt like… maybe it was better for the both of us? I mean, we’re graduating in less than two months and … yeah.”

“Oh, so that’s why. I thought you were avoiding me,” he scratches the back of his neck, tilting his head. “You also haven’t been showing up to practice anymore so I thought…”

Right. Of course.

“Well, I managed to lure this first year into taking over my duties for the time being that I figure my shit out, you know?” 

Iwaizumi mock-gasps you. “You’re so irresponsible.” You roll your eyes as some sort of retort.

“Come here.”

You look up in horror; his arms are outstretched and there’s an evil smile strewn across his face. “What do you want to do, Iwaizumi.”

“Dumbass, just give me a hug,” he says as he steps forward and catches you off-guard by encircling his muscular arms around your shoulders, squashing your face in the crook of his neck. He pats your back in a steady rhythm, your arms unmoving by your sides. “Come to practice and let that first-year breathe, will you?”

You let a small smile snake its way onto your face. “After all, this is what you say?”

“Priorities,” he hums, holding you still in his embrace. You groan in pseudo-annoyance as you lightly punch his stomach to get him away from you, only to no avail. “Cute of you to even try, now hug your friend back or I’m not letting you go.”

You sigh, “Everyone sounds like Oikawa, just how much extra time have you all been spending together?”

“Maybe if you had tagged along, you would have sounded just like us, too.”

“Is that really a win?” You say as your arms weakly encircle his waist, ghosting over it. “Now, let me go, you sap.” 

Iwaizumi infinitesimally tightens his grip around your shoulders. “I would never.”

You flutter your eyes close against his shirt, your forehead pressed against his shoulder. You notice it was quite similar to something you had with Matsukawa - some kind of reassurance that they were here for you no matter what. Whether Iwaizumi meant it in that sense or not, you let yourself drop your build-up guard as you snuggle deeper into the comfort of his embrace and mutter a ��thank you’ you hope he caught.

---

“Hajime!” You look up, your hand with the pen halting on the clipboard sitting on your forearm. 

The person in question runs up to the girl and hooks her hands around his neck as he twirls her around in front of his teammates that look surprisingly apathetic.

“She keeps coming to his practice, why does he act like it’s always the first time?” You hear Kunimi mutter by your right and you send him an eyebrow raise to which he responds with a scowl. You wince. Kids these days.

Kindaichi bows and apologizes on Kunimi’s behalf. You wave him off with a half-smile and ruffle his hair, saying how great his blocks were. 

“I will do my best!” He says as he dashes off onto the court, meeting up with the rest of the teammates. You catch Oikawa’s concentrated face as he gives the second years some advice on spiking. You smile fondly to yourself; there truly was not a better captain; leader. 

“L/N-san,” the first-year tugs at your jacket, you nod in acknowledgment, prodding her on. “I’ll have to go now, so if you'll excuse me.”

“Of course! Thank you so much for helping me! Have a great day!” The first-year bows and leaves the gym with a wave. You reciprocate it with an added smile.

The girl from earlier approaches you in light-weight steps, her uniform neatly ironed, you noted. She has her hair in a high ponytail and you notice how stunning she is. “These guys can be really mean on the court, no?”

It takes you embarrassingly long enough to understand that she’s talking to you. “Oh… uh, yeah. They can get aggressive.”

“How long have you been a manager?” She suddenly asks, eyes sparkling with interest.

“Ever since I became a first-year, so three years now.” You answer, noticing how she’s clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I can’t even imagine how bad must it be for your mental health to deal with these brats.”

Oh. “Hm, if you’re used to hearing their bullshit everyday, I’m sure you’d be just fine.” She laughs genuinely. You subconsciously tighten your hold on the clipboard. 

“Maybe,” she mutters, her gaze landing on Iwaizumi who spikes the ball set to him specifically by Oikawa onto the opponent’s court, adding a point to his team. 

“Honestly I admire you for that.” You stay still because… what else is there to do? “As much as I’ve always wanted to be one, I don’t think I’d be good at it, and it’s too late for me, anyway.” She dry-laughs, the sadness clearly woven into her voice. 

“I can show you some things if you want. It’s mostly paperwork but there’s also—” (the habit of talking before thinking was getting out of hands now)

She eagerly nods as you hand her your clipboard you’ve been writing into the whole time. The coach sends you a questioning look but you wave him off, mouthing ‘okay’, ‘no problem’ and everything in between.

As you two work in silence - you showing her the basics and the fundamentals, and her nodding everything off and asking questions (which reminds you of the first-year that you were lucky to find because, let’s be real, who would be so excited over taking the responsibilities?), you both don’t notice Iwaizumi watching you two interact, thinking how two of his favorite people are conversing.

And that’s how he gets zonked. In the head. By Oikawa. 

Before you could run off to check up on Iwaizumi, she catches your wrist. “He’ll be okay in no time.”

You let your jaw drop. “W-what…”

“Just look at him, this happens all the time, don’t worry.”

“But it’s my responsibility—”

“Look out, L/N!!!” You turn towards the voice, for the first time in your life catching the ball... with your face. And as you hit the ground, blackness is the only thing that surrounds you.

Your head is spinning, the pain pounding against your skull. You’re lying on a bed, the headrest slightly raised. You bring a hand up to your face, feeling just how much it is swollen beneath your fingertips. “You’ll be okay,” the nurse says, cleaning up the supplies. “It’ll take some time healing; you got a pretty severe hit.”

“Yeah,” you let out, defeated. “What about Iwaizumi?” 

“Ah, yeah, he’s just left. He’s okay, if that’s what you’re wondering.” You let out a sigh of relief. Just what the hell happened? You throw a forearm over your forehead and flutter your eyes close, indulging in the way the mattress beneath your body feels nice. Before you know it, you slip into the dreamland.

;

The practices have been less and less rigorous, considering the fact that the third years prioritized their decent marks rather than ‘some hobby’ (“L/N! How could you say that!” Oikawa whined on one fine day, tugging at your sleeve. Iwaizumi sent you a glare that day.). After all, they could’ve retired after losing to Karasuno but Oikawa was rigid, and someone had to lead the team for the little time that they had left.

You also have been seeing Iwaizumi’s girlfriend come to his practices, cheering him on or completely shattering his ego. They fit one another really well; she was there to ground him if he got too aggressive. Their natures seemed to clash in the right way. You swallow the bile rising up your throat.

No.

“L/N!” You turn to the voice, noticing it was her. You wave at her. This has become some kind of routine you both fell into, with the rest of the team as well. “How’s school?” She asks out of the blue and you weigh out the options: to answer or to digress. Why would she start a small talk, considering you two aren’t relatively that close yet? 

You ignore the nonsensical thoughts your mind loves conjuring up.

“Good.”

She nods, averting her gaze as she bits on her bottom lip. You two watch the game before you.

(Eventually, these little small talks turn into full-on hangouts on Fridays with the guys tagging along. And maybe, maybe your assumptions were wrong, after all.)

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“I can’t believe we’ve made it.” You sniffle into your sleeve as you hold tightly onto the tube with the graduation certificate in it. The school gymnasium is teeming with sweaty bodies of graduates, holding onto their own tubes. Everyone’s chattering so loud it makes your head turn. 

Oikawa nudges your shoulder and with a blinding smile says, “We really did, L/N-san.”

You grin and turn your body to him, catching him off-guard as you hug his middle, fake-sniffling into his uniform. “Don’t pry my hands off, this is my love language.” Oikawa gasps but you can feel him lean into the embrace, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

“Hey,” you lift your shoulder he’s resting his chin on. He hums in acknowledgement. “You did really well, Oikawa-san. I respect you so much, Oikawa-san. You have worked very hard-”

Oikawa jerks away from your warmth, holding you by your shoulders at an arm’s length. “You mean this, L/N-san?” He challenges you.

You flick his forehead. “Obviously not. Except the last part.”

Oikawa gets into a ranting mode as you look around the gymnasium, spotting numerous familiar faces. You send them a smile and a wave. On the other side of the gym, you spot Iwaizumi with his girlfriend by his side. Their arms are locked as they converse with Matsukawa and Hanamaki. 

You notice the way Iwaizumi snakes an arm around her waist, probably trying to keep her as close as possible. Ah yeah, of course. Iwaizumi has always been a little too overprotective when it came to the people he cared for. You smile upon the fact; he was a bit too good for this world, although it might not seem so to strangers. But that was the beauty of it all, how only you — among the others he cared for—  could see his true colors.

“L/N?” You look up. “Are you sure you’re fine? I mean it makes me really sad just seeing you so… sullen.” The tears are pricking your eyes. Why is Oikawa being like this?

“Tooru, I hate you so much.” You grab onto his jacket as he instinctually grabs a hold of your shoulders, slamming you against his chest. “Why are you like this.”

He tsks, “No, why are you like this?”

You let yourself indulge in the warmth and comfort of his embrace, tuning the world out for a second. “Thank you for the years. I mean it.” 

“Now, now, why are you such a sap? Look,” he points behind you, “Mattsun and Makki are here!”

You scramble away from his hold, patting at your uniform as you pretend everything prior to this was just a hallucination, an illusion. “You two, can you believe this? L/N is so emotional it makes me cry, too.”

You grumble in embarrassment. “Let me be. I do have the right to be emotional. How are you not crying? You won’t get to see me anymore.”

Hanamaki joins the conversation. “I think that’s why none of us are crying.” Oikawa barks a laugh as he steadies himself on Hanamaki’s shoulder. You turn to Matsukawa, expecting some sort of back-up. “I mean, he didn’t lie…”

You pout. “Betrayal.”

“I knew you always had a favorite!” Hanamaki exclaims with his arms crossed over his chest. Oikawa stops laughing, already rolling his sleeves up, albeit unsuccessfully. “Unbelievable. I thought we didn’t play favorites?”

“We don’t!” You exclaim with as much rage. 

Matsukawa steps into your personal space as he engulfs you in a bear hug, carding his fingers through your hair. “What are you doing?”

“You don’t have to lie to them,” Matsukawa says as he too-sweetly smiles at the remaining boys. 

“Scandalous,” Oikawa says, hands already clenched in fists by his side. Hanamaki catches him by his middle. “Losers.” 

You snake your hands into the inside of Matsukawa’s jacket and tickle him. “Ow,” He jerks away from you and sends you a glare. You only smile in return. 

“You know,” Hanamaki starts, “you have never given me a hug.”

You widen your eyes because first of all, he’s absolutely right and second of all, why did he have the need to say it out loud and so… straightforwardly? Does he have no shame? You also hate the fact that your brain tends to short-circuit every time someone’s being too explicit and your body reacts a tad faster before you can realize it - naturally, your cheeks redden and you bring the tube to your cheeks to soothe the redness that is not going away. “Takahiro, shut!”

He shrugs. “For real, Oikawa hugs you like, all the time. Matsukawa does, too, which is surprising,” Matsukawa yells ‘Hey, I can be nice!’ , “and god, don’t get me started on Iwaizumi.

It’s as if Oikawa was made for this. His ears perk up at the mention of his childhood friend as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “What?” You roll your eyes, wishing for some silence, freedom, ‘get me out of here’s.

“You were saying, huh?” Oikawa leans into Hanamaki, their shoulders bumping. “Get off me, you creep.” 

Oikawa has this whole ‘lost-puppy-in-the-streets’ look going on and you almost give in to the temptation to comfort him. But bruh, nah, he’s a big boy. “Anyway back to our Iwaizumi!

“We all know he’s not affectionate, right, he’d punch us in the guts and say something like, I don’t hate y’all. But!” You flinch upon the raised voice. “When it comes to our not-that best and not-that impressive and stupid and dumb—” 

“We get it!” You say, looking awfully bothered by it (not that it actually bothered you, haha, nope).

“He’s kinda soft. It’s totally different with his girlfriend but yeah.” 

The rest of you eye each other. This was so not happening. “Did you just analyze this whole meaningless shit,” Matsukawa deadpans. 

“Had to justify my lack of L/N Hugs.”

You slap your forehead. “Hanamaki, what the fuck even--” In that exact moment, you’re thrown in Hanamaki’s way, his arms instinctually wrapping themselves around your shoulders as you try stopping the momentum that could possibly make you both fall onto the hard, stepped-on by not-clean shoes and totally not-dusty ground. 

“Is this a new way of hugging or something?” A voice asks from behind you and Hanamaki in each other’s awkward embrace. There stands Iwaizumi with his girlfriend by his side, an  ever-so-wide smile strewn across their faces. “At least I got my hug.” Hanamaki unwraps his arms around you, completely disregarding you as he drops you to the ground. 

“I feel so used.” You wipe at your metaphorical tear in the corner of your eye. As you’re about to hoist yourself up, a hand appears before you. 

Without any second thoughts, you take it and with the person’s help, you lift yourself up from the ground. “Thanks, ‘Zumi.”

“Hm, you never gave me a nickname.” It sounds like he’s pondering over the words except he just accidentally said them out loud. You notice your friend group a feet away, chattering animatedly with other classmates, Iwaizumi’s girlfriend somewhere in the far corner chatting with her girl friends. Great, you two, just what you wanted. 

You swear to god that you caught the three close friends of yours sending you unsubtle glances, making gestures, clowning, whatever. You shake your head.

“Something on your mind, L/N?” You divert your gaze to the ground. After all this time, why does your heart skip a beat faster whenever you’re the only ones around? 

“I,” you start, fiddling with your fingers, the tube safely tucked under your arm. “I never got the chance to properly thank you for the years.”

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. A second, two, three pass by. He’s waiting. “Uh,” you straighten your back and hold the tube with both of your hands to stop them from shaking so damn much. At this point they could become engines with which you could drive around the neighborhood. “I told the guys already,” you point at them with your thumb, “so don’t feel special or anything.”

He smiles and that encourages you to keep going. “Well, I don’t think you know but I’m like, the biggest fan of you.” He sends you a knowing look. Oh, so you’re a fan of him?

“Of you all. And I might not have shown it as much but it’s the truth. I can’t even imagine how hard you all must’ve worked to get where you are. Your strategies, your excellent thinking, your intelligence, your view on things - it’s all so impressive to me and I wanna let you know that whatever you’ll choose in the end, just know this high school time was crucial to your growth.” 

Silence. Did you say something wrong? Maybe it’s taking him some time to absorb, digest the whole word vomit you just let out. What’s filtering anyway.

“L/N, you know,” Iwaizumi averts his eyes to the high ceiling, the sunlight smiling down on you two. “I don’t think you should be saying this to me.”

You shake your head. “I promise I’ve already told him and I’ll let him know later again, but now, this,” you gesture to the air between the two of you, “is about you so stop selling yourself short. I thought you were over this.”

Iwaizumi quirks his lips up in a half-smile, eyes sparkling with an emotion you could actually tell - gratefulness. “See, I didn’t lie when I said you were a good person.” 

You shoot him one of your best smiles, “Could say the same about you, sir.”

“Hey, you two! You going?” Oikawa yells from the other side of the room, pointing at both of you. He’s nearing the exit with the rest of the third years, still facing you. You give him a thumbs up and the last thing you see is the undoubted significant smile that had no ulterior motives. “So, we going?” Iwaizumi points to the exit, the hall slowly but surely emptying each passing minute. 

“You go ahead, I still have something left to do.” Iwaizumi looks suspicious but after relentless bickering, he gave up and said he’d be waiting outside, somewhere near the school, you’ll find him eventually.

As you’re left alone in the emptied gym, you cannot help but think of the times when you first got to know the guys that you now call your best friends. 

Awkward, embarrassed, clueless.

You were reluctant to join, for: firstly, what did you know about volleyball? Secondly, you were really not looking for any friends, so how come it ended up the way you didn’t plan to, yet you were never more grateful? What would’ve happened had you not decided to join the volley club as a manager?

You’d like to believe you were in-one-way-or-another lucky. You never questioned your luck, never questioned your fate. You believed in the universe - although you knew it had a very obvious, blatant dislike to you. Ignoring all of that, you went with the flow.

People come and go. Friends come and go. You are aware.

These lingering feelings? It hurts.

It hurts but that’s only because you were never brave enough to let them out. This was a choice you could’ve chosen. You didn’t have to wait for a miracle to appear in front of you and make you say all the words you’d always felt too scared to say.

Hadn’t it been for Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, would you have been able to even fall in love with Iwaizumi in the first place?

Right, you did attend the same class but would the bond have been as strong as it is now?

No matter what, Iwaizumi was a friend first and although it hurts, you need to move on. One way or another.

“C’mon, L/N! We won’t get to any food if we dilly-dally any longer!” Iwaizumi shouts to you from the other side and you bite your lip to prevent the megawatt smile from spreading across your face.

It hurts.

It hurts so much, but the least you can do is to cherish him in the ways you can.

Cherish him as a friend.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Bag of Tricks

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

Genre: fluff / established relationship au

Warnings: mild suggestive tone at the end / jealousy and teasing

A/N: another dream strikes again. This is a dream I had a few weeks ago and have wanted to share for some time. Of course, Jaebum makes a mention just to spice things up lol.

Word count: 808

“Where have you been?”

Flinching as you closed the front door, you turned to see Jinyoung waiting for you, arms folded across his chest. You hadn't expected him to beat you home, let alone be waiting for your return.

Swallowing back your fright, you smiled gently. “I went to the gym. To Jaebum's class.”

Equal amounts of panic and annoyance settled into his face as Jinyoung looked over your outfit. His eyes narrowed. “For moral support?”

“No, to work out,” you corrected, unzipping your jacket to hang up in the hallway closet. You could feel Jinyoung's eyes scrutinising your loose t-shirt, the neckline on both sides showing off your sports bra a little. You knew you were in dangerous territory now and your next move would make or break the man behind you.

“He saw you like this?” he questioned, voice strained, much as his arms were.

You breezed passed the man, going into the kitchen and pouring yourself a drink of water. Jinyoung had followed you, a hand now gripping at the granite countertop.

You decided to tell him the whole chain of events in case it came out at a later date. “Oh, there was this woman who really got on my nerves at how she was throwing herself at Jaebum so I told her I was his wife and I didn't appreciate it.”

Silence met this comment and you peered over the top of the glass you were still drinking from to gauge his reaction. You could tell you had pushed him closer to the edge and Jinyoung finally exhaled a shaky breath, his gaze falling to your left hand.

“You used that ring to help a grown man who can solve his own problems?”

“She had been coming on strong for weeks and Jaebum had even pulled her from his class but she still turned up. I don't think she will return now. I was quite effective.”

“You're not his wife.”

“We both know this,” you agreed though Jinyoung wasn't eased by this admission. You placed the glass down and moved to his side. “You okay?”

“My wife went and flaunted her body in front of her old boyfriend and then pretended to be his? Should I be okay about this? You don't even go to the gym so why are you suddenly trying out Jaebum's class?!”

You attempted to keep your expression void of any amusement. “I don't go to the gym with you. That's because you told me that I ruin your focus. Jaebum's class is perfect for my fitness level. And the boyfriend thing is a bit of a stretch, don't you think? I was thirteen and dated him for three weeks before we both decided it was too weird to kiss a friend.”

“But it’s not weird to pretend you're his wife,” Jinyoung answered exasperatedly, closing his eyes as he battled to hold onto the remaining sanity he possessed. You smiled, enjoying yourself. It was normally your husband who worked you up to no return, and you felt exhilaration overpower you being the one with the upper hand right now.

Shifting in front of him, you ran your hands up his torso, his eyes snapping open to watch you intently. Once they were linked behind his neck, you leaned in to kiss him.

“What are you doing?”

“Kissing my husband.”

He let out a scoff, despite his body relaxing with your touch. “Isn't that Jaebum?”

“Pretty sure I married you,” you murmured before kissing him again, this time feeling the purse of his lips against yours when you pulled away.

“This is a cheap tactic, Y/N.”

You grinned. “I know, I learned it from the best.”

Kissing him again, Jinyoung's resolve was almost broken. He heaved a breath midway. “Temptress. And you act as if you're the one always dealing with the problems.”

“Well, right now, I think I am pretty decent at problem-solving.”

“Kissing me won't make this better,” he proclaimed as you nibbled at the edge of his mouth. Pressing your body into his further, you ensured he had nowhere to go by placing a hand on either side of the countertop. Jinyoung couldn't hold back a laugh at this move. “You really did learn from the best, huh?”

“Mm,” you hummed into his mouth, catching the end of his humour with another brief kiss. “Should I show you more?”

“My feelings are hurt, you're going to have to work hard,” he warned and you smiled at the man, caressing his face with a hand. Jinyoung nuzzled it, further relaxed with your touch. You bit back your laugh, amused that all the usual moves that he used on you were now working so well on him as well.

“Don't worry. I've got a whole bag of tricks that I can work through until you're feeling all better again.”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

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[icedcappujaeno]

kingdom come | one

Jaehyun remembers you, and he hopes that you remember him as well.

genre: mafia!au | fluff | angst | smut

pair: Jaehyun & reader

warnings: language, sexual content, drugs, blood and violence, guns

↤ previous | series masterlist | next ↦

( a/n: heh c: )

“Valentine, can you hear me, over.”

“Chicago to Valentine.”

“Jae-”

He pulls the device away from his ears. Sweat drips from his temple down to his wrist. He clutches the handle before when he hears the door open, footsteps following after. 

Jaehyun quietly exhales but he hears his heart thumping. Louder. The footsteps coming closer matching how his heart that he could hear it loudly in his ears. 

“He went through here. I’m sure of it,” one says. 

At least one of you is vigilant , he thinks. 

Jaehyun cocks the barrel and slides away from where he was hiding, shooting the speaker in his chest. His companion reacts even before his body falls to the ground with the fatal shot - shooting to the direction Jaehyun was. 

Unfortunately, still too slow.

Jaehyun rolls to the side, kicking the man’s ankles which caused him to fall down. He takes the opportunity to shoot another bullet straight to his lungs. But to these actions, he never noticed another man coming into the room, one making a bullet straight to his direction. Luckily with his reflexes, he managed to dodge a split second, the metal grazing through the fabric of his clothing deep into the skin of his shoulder. 

Momentarily he hisses because of the pain, yet Jaehyun manages to get it over quickly, landing a clean shot on the assailant’s head. 

He ducks behind the flipped table to reload and hears another set of steps coming towards his direction. He runs just behind the walls of the fallen door - and as one entered, sneaks up to land a fatal blow towards the back of the man’s neck. The other points his gun towards Jaehyun, but as to his quick senses, pulls the arm towards him, flipping him over with the remaining strength he has, before planting a bullet on the man’s head once more.

Jaehyun exhales.

“This is Valentine,” he says as he brings the comm back to his ears. “Cleaning up cleared.”

“YOU FUCKING SHIT!”

Johnny screams through the comm, and Jaehyun thinks his eardrums are being snapped at. It was pure regret to put them back on. The elder continues to interrogate his locations to which he answers meekly as to be careful - there might be more around that are hunting for him.

When he stands, the graze on his shoulder stung, and he hisses at the burning sensation. There is blood from his shoulder when he reaches for it, thus he places his free hand over for pressure to prevent more bleeding. Slowly, he walks over to the hallway, now stinking of dried blood. 

Jaehyun didn’t even get to the half of the hall when he heard running, thus he concealed himself behind a vase stand. 

“This way!” One of them shouts, but a series of gunshots fires after.

He hears a man whistle, then a slap of a hand on thick fabric.

“Jeno nice kill!”

Jaehyun chuckles and shakes his head. 

“Were you not told that you should call another agent by their code, Pudu?”

He says, standing up to meet his two companions - two juniors on the field. The hand on his shoulder still patched, to which the black-haired boy notices. 

“You’re injured, Hyung!”

Both rushed to his side, and Jaehyun saw the panic in their eyes.

“As much as I’d love to flick your foreheads right now,” he hisses. “Ah, shit. Should I be really giving lessons now-“

“Yeah, you should!” Another voice breaks him, and when Jaehyun looks over the hall, Johnny’s coming closer in big, angry strides. Jeno and Haechan move to the side to give way to Johnny. 

With the first aid kit, Johnny applies a mediocre patch with thick layers of gauze. He finishes the dressing by roughly putting on micropore tapes haphazardly over the injured shoulder.

“But they won’t be the one taking lessons, Jaehyun, it’ll be you—and by that I mean go back to the training where you’ll learn patience and obedience!” Johnny screams with obvious frustration laces his tone. 

“I can do it alone, hyung—“

“Bullshit,” Johnny scoffs, then turns his back to Jaehyun. “Carry Valentine up to the escape, Prince. Pudu, come with me.”

The two mentioned complies, but Jaehyun is reluctant to not go. He was about to speak when Johnny walked away with Haechan, leaving no room for argument. 

Jeno looks at him with pitiful eyes. He hears rumors of Jaehyun going insane by charging in alone, with no comms, when he sees fit, and now he’s seen it. A true suicidal maniac who succeeds nevertheless. 

“Prince. Bring Valentine over,” Jeno hears Taeyong through the comms. Jeno looks at Jaehyun — his lips pursed and brows knitted, probably in annoyance.

“Yes sir.”

Jaehyun looks at him with venomous eyes. Jeno cowers, his heart beats a little faster than normal, but no. An order is an order.

“Valentine hyung. Let’s go.”

The older looks at him for a brief few seconds and sighs. He could not hurt Jeno, and running away would probably sanction the kid. He couldn’t risk it — couldn’t be the one putting the blame.

He nods and lets Jeno assist him by putting his arm over the little one’s frame for support, drenched in blood and sweat.

━ ┉ ━

“Pass.”

Johnny attempts to imitate Jaehyun’s baritone when Taeil asks whether they’re up for a night of chicken and beer after finishing their reports on the previous mission. Jaehyun was the only man in the room to not be amused by the elder’s banter as his brows were knitted in obvious annoyance.

“Stop that, hyung,” he says as he gathers his coat to his hand. When he stands, he pushes the button of his computer to turn it off. “But I’ll pass.”

Johnny mouths ‘I told you so’ to the people around which earned fits of giggles. 

“Come on, Jaehyun,” Taeil insists. “It’s just for tonight.”

If other people would observe, Jaehyun’s actions would be seen as disrespectful - as he straight out walks towards the time clock to punch out. However, since almost everyone in the office knows of his past, they let him be. Jaehyun wasn’t like this before  that incident - and adjusting to his cold demeanor was quite difficult, to say the least, but everyone managed to lengthen their patience towards him.

“Okay, I’ll be honest,” Haechan raises his hand. “I am starting to lose my patience towards Jaehyun hyung.”

“Haechan,” Johnny sighs. “We talked about this.”

“It’s been two years!” The younger whines. “He should have moved on.”

“Thought you were teaching your kids well, Johnny hyung,” Taeyong quips as he gets out of his office. He looks so exhausted with his disheveled hair, first button of his shirt undone, and the loose necktie. Johnny could never imagine the piles of paper waiting for him on his desk. These were times that he was thankful that he was only a  supervisor .

“I did,” Johnny shrugs. “But did he lie though?”

Silence fills the room and everyone internally agrees, even Taeyong. 

Two years since Jaehyun got involved in a car  accident .

“So, chicken and beer?” Taeil finally stands from his seat then stretches the knots out of his back muscles. Everyone follows except for Taeyong, who only smiles and frees his neck from the tie hanging around all day.

━ ┉ ━

Two years since Jaehyun lost you.

Two years he’s been self-suffering. Two years of blaming. Two years of guilt.

And in the span of two years, he learns a new routine. Work. Then home. It was foreign not to go out with his co-workers in the first five months, but he swallows his guilt - he shouldn’t be happy while you’re gone. He doesn’t deserve it, it’s what he thinks. In the first five months, he drinks and tries to forget, but it wasn’t working for him. 

He was beyond broken, raising the worries of his co-workers. His  friends .

In the next months, Taeil and Yuta buy him gym equipment; ‘to keep himself busy’ as they say. Jaehyun appreciates the concern and thinking that not using it would rust them off, he learns to use them. In nights of insomnia, as you continue to appear in his dreams, taken in by the guilt and emotional repression, he goes up and trains until his body can’t move anymore.

This night wasn’t any different.

Jaehyun lies on the floor of his training ground. He’s drenched in sweat and it sticks to the mat below, but he pays no mind. He stares at the ceiling - your smile comes through his mind. He misses you, so much. And it hurts so badly. He isn’t alone but he feels like one without your presence. He shouldn’t be feeling guilty as it was an accident, but he’s blaming himself: he shouldn’t have invited you to a fancy dinner. He should have listened to you but he didn’t. 

Jaehyun looks at his watch. The screen flashes and shows 01:13 AM.

He shouldn’t be laying on the floor drenched in sweat. Right now, you should have been laying with him instead, your soft snores melody to his ears.

He stares at the ceiling once again. He has deleted all your pictures in order to forget, but it keeps coming…

Jaehyun cries. 

He swore he’ll never cry once more, yet your face, your dear facade keeps haunting his thoughts.

He wants you back.

━ ┉ ━

“You should be glad I’m still awake,” Rose quips, lightning her cig as she sits on the edge of Jaehyun’s bed. The white shirt tossed by Jaehyun earlier covers her slender upper body to her mid-thighs.

Jaehyun only hums, sitting beside her. He comes back from the shower from which he throws out the condom he used just a while ago. With him wearing his birthday suit, Rose can’t help but admire his body; sculpted into perfection. She was staring until he raised a brow.

Rose offers him a cig and he accepts, letting her light his stick.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun huffs from his cigarette. “Thanks.”

She offers him a knowing look. Her legs are crossed while her chin rests on her palms, supported by her elbows on her knees. A smile comes across her sultry lips. “So?”

He looks at her incredulously. “So?”

Rose shrugs. She glances at the clock by his nightstand and huffs a smoke out of her cigarette. “It’s almost 3 AM.”

“And?”

She reaches for her bag resting on the nightstand and fishes her phone out. She scrolls back to her recent contacts, most recently coming from Jaehyun. “Booty calls at 1:48 in the morning? Like I’ve said, you’re lucky I’m still up.”

Jaehyun chuckles dryly in reply, before blowing another smoke from his light. “I know you’d come anyway.”

“I mean,” Rose sighs dreamily, looking at Jaehyun’s body rather salaciously. He’s covered in his own sweat, mixed a little bit with hers, and it’s the hottest view Rose had ever seen in her entire life. “I’d be an idiot to turn you down.”

Jaehyun extinguishes his cig on a nearby ashtray and runs his fingers through his tresses. She imitates his actions, reaching over to the lone ashtray where he extinguished his stick. His gaze follows suit, weighing down whether he’ll let her stay until the sun rises or let her go home. 

Rose has been of great help to him. He needs release at times, and she’s been willing to do him a favor every time ever since they met at the bar when Jaehyun was still in the first few months of  recovering . She confessed her lowkey crush on him and they’ve been hooking up ever since.

It was hard to admit, but Rose knew she’s only nothing. When they fuck around, his eyes are void of any emotion. Sure, his face tells him he feels good as well as his moans and grunts, but Rose knew that it was all just lustful desires. A short-term form of happiness.

“Stay the night,” he says, proceeding to put stray strands of her hair behind her ears. His touch was cold like his exterior. Rose wishes she could break those walls, but she also knows that it’s not yet the time to do those if she wants to keep using him. 

A mutual understanding. Both sides benefited. She thinks that somehow, this is okay. At least for now.

She nods. It was quite late anyway, and the sun will be rising soon. It was part of the deal - that she leaves as the sun rises, so lays on his bed, inhaling his scent. Jaehyun follows suit, inviting her over to his and she scoots over, making his chest as a pillow. He runs his hand through her soft hair.

But the problem is, Jaehyun feels nothing after all these.

[thenakedgingerwrites]

My Personal Trainer

I met Nick five months ago when he became my personal trainer. I joined the gym in the summer to finally work my body towards my personal goals. I had been skinny all my life and knew that if I wanted to change it I would have to get serious. Five months of 3-5 workouts a week and heavy carb/protein loading I was pushing towards my goal. I was up 20 pounds of muscle and my progress pics were really showing obvious changes. I of course had taken photos every step of the way, but hadn't really shared them with anyone until recently. Nick and I had our weekly Monday appointment scheduled. Today was chest day for me and he pushed me hard through it. I was actually pretty lucky getting Nick as my trainer. He was attractive but not instantly my type. It was easier to get a solid workout in if I wasn't drooling over my trainer the entire time. Nick was probably 5'11. He had a lot of muscle but was rounded since bulking season had set in. His arms were massive, chest was broad, and butt (from what I could tell) was quite a bubble. His legs were probably the most underdeveloped part of him but they weren't thin by any means. Definitely thicker than mine. Nick was pale but had clear, unblemished skin. His hair was dark and kept short. In fact sometimes his beard would get longer than his hair before he trimmed everything up. He was one of the few trainers that didn't seem to shave everything. His legs and arms had a nice layer of thick dark hair.

I tried not to fantasize about him but couldn't help the occasional naughty thought, especially when he would demonstrate squat formations or anything that popped his butt. However, I really tried to keep things professional. No harmless flirting or ogles were done by this guy. Nick figured out I was gay probably 2 months into our routine. It didn't phase him at all and things continued as normal. He would occasionally ask about my personal life, if I was seeing anyone, and I'd ask the same. We were both helplessly single but he was straight so there were no possibilities there. I didn't shower at the gym since I lived so close and Nick always did his workouts in the afternoon before I arrived. What this meant is that I'd never even seen the guy shirtless. The most skin I'd ever seen on the man was his calves, arms, and occasional upper thigh depending on the workout. His body was still a mystery, and that was probably a good thing for me. That all changed in the 4 month mark. We were talking after my workout and just shooting the shit. He asked if I had taken progress pictures and I explained I had, but wasn't quite ready to share. Maybe one day, I told him. He understood, but offered up his own. He flipped through his phone and then handed it to me. "Don't flip too much though," Nick said with a nervous laugh. He obviously had nudes on his phone. Of him or of someone else I wondered? The screen was zoomed in to a 3 picture side-by-side, each 6 months apart. I should probably mention that it was his neck down in nothing but some tight underwear. My eyes must have bulged. His body was amazing. I mean he definitely was a 'round' muscled guy but that was absolutely my type. His chest had a light dusting of dark hair which picked back up around his belly button and continued south, growing in intensity until it was hidden below his waistband. He kept his body hair trimmed but definitely all there. I couldn't help but focus on his package. Fuck keeping things personal, I thought. The pictures weren't amazingly lit, but I could easily see the large bulge in his briefs. Whether it was cock, balls, or both I couldn't tell. Whatever it was though, it was hefty. "... and if you blend that all together, it makes a wicked easy meal with tons of calories." Oh shit! I had completely zoned out while looking at his pictures. Quick, say something. "Well it's working out really well for you Nick. This is great progress. I'd be happy with any of them, honestly." Nick laughed. "Like, for your own body or as in your boyfriend?" It had seemed innocent enough but a million thoughts were running through my head. "Umm, well I meant for my own body, but if I was lucky enough to snatch someone up with a body like yours, I'd hold on tight." Nick just gave a cheesy grin and said thanks. We talked for a few more minutes about our weeks and what I would focus on while at the gym. Unfortunately, that night I jacked off thinking about those photos. The next night, I texted Nick telling him how raw I was from the workout yesterday and he responded with the picture he showed me. "Pain builds progress" he wrote with it. That week I did nothing but masturbate to that photo. The slippery slope had started and there was no turning back. Another month went by without much significance except how I looked at Nick. He was no longer just my personal trainer, he was now an object of my lust. Every workout he showed me I couldn't help but turn it dirty in my mind. I was losing it. We had hung out a few times outside of the gym. It had always been with a bunch of the gym staff for a game or just a night out in downtown. I got a text on Saturday morning asking if I wanted to hang out and drink some beers. His roommate was out of town and he wanted to enjoy the apartment to himself while watching the football game. I agreed, trying not to fantasize about unrealistic outcomes. When I got there he was basically in gym attire. I felt a bit dressed up in my nice jeans and button up shirt but oh well. We drank while watching the game, Nick drinking much faster than me. Near the end of the 3rd quarter, it was obvious our home team was going to win and interest in the game subsided. We talked about the gym, work, girls, guys, and continued to drink. I was getting tipsy at this point but Nick was sufficiently drunk. "When are you gonna show me your progress photos, man?" Nick asked me. He actually didn't need to beg much. The alcohol helped, but it only felt fair knowing how much I'd stared at his almost naked body. "Eh, I'll show you. Remember, I was SKINNY. Don't make fun." "I would never! Plus you've grown so much. I'm so proud!" He was smiling ear to ear. It made me swoon a little. I flipped through my phone to get the most recent. It was my 5 month comparison photo. Nothing too crazy. Just standing in front of the mirror flexing one arm in my underwear. I wore skimpy briefs but it was nothing x-rated. I had clearly changed. My ribs were no longer visible and every muscle and it's own definition. Where a flat chest had been there were now pecs. Where a stick arm was there was muscled girth. "Wow! I'm so impressed; you've changed more than I imagined." "Thanks Nick." I was genuinely appreciative of his compliments. "Although, you need to get better at posing." "What?" Nick continued, "You're not showing off the right muscles in these. Like, you've grown a lot in your back but you can't tell in these." "Oh, haha. I didn't realize there was an art to gym selfies." I chastised him a little sarcastically. "There is!!" Nick was drunkenly serious. This was clearly a subject he was passionate about. "Okay, how do you feel about practicing some?" "Sure, that's fine." I said. "You'd have to take off those clothes though to see what I mean." Nick was very direct. I played along, my mind secretly hoping for something like this or more. "That's fine. You would too, right? To show me?" "Yeah, yeah. Obviously." With that Nick stripped. There was no romantic tease to it. This was clearly just what Nick said it was and nothing more. In a few seconds he had peeled out to just his tight boxer briefs. I stood there for longer than I should have because he cleared his throat and said, "you're turn." I quickly snapped back to reality and disrobed as well. I wore my tight AussieBum red briefs tonight just in case something like this happened. What can I say, I'm a planner. "Nice briefs man." Nick offered. "Nice body." He laughed. "Okay, so the first pose is really to show off your Lats and all the work you've been doing on your back." He walked through a couple poses and I imitated him. He would correct me a few times and move my arms or body in the right way. I was really proud of myself for not popping an erection at all with the contact. Minutes passed and things started to get warm in the living room from all our flexing and holding poses. Nick offered to take some photos for me on my phone and I happily agreed. They would be much better than selfies. After taking some photos Nick asked if I would do the same. I obviously agreed. We got to a pose that Nick wanted to try to accentuate his butt. He stood sideways to the camera and twisted his torso towards the lens to accentuate the roundness of his bubble butt. I took a few photos, wishing they were on my phone instead. "Does it look good? Does my butt look good?" He asked me. "It looks incredible Nick. Easily one of the hottest asses I've ever seen." I didn't really think about what I was saying anymore. We were both getting drunk by this time. "Coming from you that means a lot, thanks!" Nick replied with a cheesy smile. "Hey, I kind of want to get some more but without my briefs. Is that okay?" "You want me to take your nudes for you?" I sarcastically asked. Probably should have played that differently. He laughed loudly, "No! I can take my own dick pics thank you. I'll still cover the goods up, I just want some sexier ones without underwear." "Sure, why would I mind?" Nick shrugged, "I dunno, just wanted to make sure, ya know?" He turned around to slip his briefs off. His butt, was amazing. Two large globes of muscle sat atop his legs. They were dusted in his dark fur but he kept his butt trimmed as well. He went through the same poses but was really good at covering up his cock with either his legs or his hands. As much as I wanted to, I never actually saw what he was packing other than some heavy pubes. When Nick felt he had enough shots, he plopped down onto the couch. He grabbed his briefs and placed them over this crotch but didn't actually put them on. He asked for his phone and flipped through the photos when I handed it to him. He was clearly pleased with the photos. "Is it bad that I find myself hot?" he asked. I laughed, still standing there in my underwear. "No. Is it bad if I do?" Oops. He looked up at me. "You think I'm hot?" I didn't know what to do. I scrambled to find words that would make this alright but the drunken haze was cast over my thoughts. "Well, never mind. That answers that question." Nick was looking down on me. I followed his eyes to see my obvious erection in my briefs. Shit!! I covered up quickly and turned from him. That's when he started laughing. "Don't worry about it dude. I'm flattered. Can't say I've given a guy a hard on before. Nice to know I can." "Ha, ha" I said sarcastically, still trying to will my cock to shrink. "Really, it's not a big deal. Come'on. Come here and help me figure out what shots are the best. You'll clearly have an eye for what looks good here." I looked over my shoulder and he was patting the seat of the couch beside him. I said Fuck it in my head and went to sit by him. My erection wasn't gone at all, but at this point in my life I wasn't really that shy about nudity anymore. A few minutes of flipping through shots and adding filters here and there, Nick asked me a question out of the blue. "So you really like cocks? Like, they look good to you?" "Yeah. Don't you like the look of your dick?" I replied. "Well yeah, but that's mine, ya know. I've never thought any other dick was nice." "I guess that's the difference in being gay," i laughed at that. Nick laughed too. "I guess you're right. But like, what exactly do you like about them?" I couldn't really explain it well after I thought for a moment. "I'm not really sure there's specific things or features I like about dicks and balls. It's just linked so closely with arousal that even seeing one triggers so much sexual endorphin release in me. And it's a muscle that can't hide sexual feelings, as we've clearly seen tonight. I like how honest cocks are." Nick lost it at that. "Hahaha, you like how 'honest' cocks are! That's a new one." "I'm a sucker for an honest dick, what can I say?" I laughed with him. Nick put his phone down. "Okay, then tell me. Do I have an honest dick?" He pulled his briefs off his cock. I stared without caring how obvious I was being, plus I assumed that's what he wanted. His cock was awesome. It was still pretty soft, cut, and pretty thick from what I could tell. However, it was his balls that was giving the bulging briefs in his photos. They were massive. He kept almost all his hair closely trimmed but Nick shaved his balls. "It's um... it's... honestly awesome. Nick, your balls are huge!" was all I could put together. "Haha, yeah. They've been big since I was a teenager." He handled them with palm and moved them around a bit. I swore I saw his cock twitch a bit too. "So, this is hot to you? Like, you actually think my cock and my balls are sexy?" "Do you need reassurance?" "No, no. It's just, I'm trying to figure it out. I'm.. I just can't believe someone would find someone else's dick hot." "Well, I could prove it to you." I offered. "Oh yeah? How?" Nick said. He's not a very good actor and it seemed obvious where this was going. I played it safe though and went with another slow tell. I moved my hand to his thigh. "I could show you how much I like your cock." Nick smiled. "You may have to. I still think you're fibbin'" "I would never lie," I joked. I moved my hand the extra few inches to his soft package. It felt even bigger in my hands. I had to skip to his balls first though since they were so incredibly. I moved them around and massaged them with my fingers. I would pull on them a little bit and stretch the skin which elicited light moans from Nick. I felt adventurous for a few reasons and leaned in. I kissed his balls, first lightly, and then heavier with some wet tongue. Nick moaned more. I continued to kiss and lick his balls while loosely gripping his cock. It was filling up quickly. A few seconds later, he was hard in my hand. I backed up from his balls to take a look at his meat. It was thicker than I thought. Probably 6 inches or so in length but probably the same around. It was the hottest cock I'd ever seen. I looked up to Nick just to reassure myself it was him and that this was honestly happening. He caught my eyes and just whispered, "Please don't stop." Oh that made me wet. I got down onto the floor and moved in between his legs. I took hold of his shaft and licked that cock from base to head like a popsicle. It was delicious. He had already started to precum a little for me. I wasn't in the mood to tease and went right into it. I took as much of Nick's cock into my mouth as I could. He wasn't super long but the girth prevented me from taking him all in on the first go. As I sucked with his member filling my mouth, Nick's light moans evolved to deep rumbling groans. He was loving this which made me even hornier. A couple of bobs was all it took for me to get most of him in my throat. After that I could try my different techniques (which were admittedly rusty). I swiveled my tongue around his head, used my hand to match pace with my mouth, and used a little teeth on the retract. Nick was loving each skill and would buck uncontrollably at some. I was surprised what a gentleman he was. He didn't try and grab my head to face fuck me (although I would have been fine with it) and made it very audible how much he appreciated what I was doing. "Fuck yes. That feels so good. You're amazing. You're incredible. Please don't stop." were the only things he could muster between groans. It only took a couple of minutes before Nick's balls began to tighten. I knew he was getting close. He finally did take hold of my head, but to remove it and saying, "I"m about to cum, man." What a fucking knight. "Good," I said and fought against his grip to latch back onto his cock. He tried to pull me off him again, "No, you really don't have to do that. I don't want you to feel like you do." I continued to stroke him with my hands as I popped off to say, "You don't know what it's like to be gay, but fact one, I WANT to do this." I batted his hands away and took his cock back into my wanting mouth. He just said, "oh god, oh god." over and over as he edged towards the finish line. Nick tried to hold back his orgasm as long as he could but finally he couldn't fight anymore. I took hold of his balls with a free hand as he erupted into me. His tank had definitely been full and I almost struggled to get it all down. Jet after jet of warm seed filled my mouth and was swallowed down. Nick tried to remain still but was bucking and shaking uncontrollably between his heavy breathing. When I was sure he was done, I milked him dry with a last squeeze and popped off his still hard cock. "So," I said, "believe me now that I actually like cock?" He tried to laugh but didn't have the energy. "That. Was. Amazing. I've never gotten head like that before. You're a master." I laughed. "Stand up," Nick said. I did as commanded and rose before him. I was still rock hard in my briefs, and had actually popped out a little on top. He put his hands on my ass and pulled me in closer. I had no words for what was happening, so I just went with it. He fondled me through my briefs for a bit, getting used to the feeling of a hard cock in close proximity to his body. He swallowed, and shucked my briefs to the floor. My cock sprang out and almost hit him in the face which he wasn't expecting and jumped back a bit. I couldn't help but laugh, "You're right to be scared. He bites." "You're huge, dude!" I was definitely longer than Nick. Around 8 inches, but not near as thick. And my balls were only average compared to his massive globes a few feet below. He hesitantly took hold of my cock with one hand and slowly stroked it. This was clearly more for him than it was for me. He was exploring what another man's cock was like and I didn't want to rush him through that. Plus it was incredibly hot to see him oaf around it like a foreign object. After giving me a slow, steady hand job for a few minutes he swallowed again and licked his lips. He inched closer and closed his eyes. I was now feeling bad about this. "Nick, stop. You don't have to do this. You don't owe me anything." He finally looked up at me. "No, I know. I just, I want to see what it's like." "Okay, but go slow. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable and you can stop anytime." He was looking at my dick again and nodded. He inched close again and closed his eyes to lick my cock head. Once he had a taste he moved his tongue around in his mouth to figure out if he liked it or not. "It just tastes like, skin?" I laughed, "yeah, they don't come in different flavors." "I guess I just, I thought it would taste different." I explained to him that it can if a guy precums a lot, but that I didn't. My cock was a great 'beginners' cock. We both laughed a bit. He then took hold with one hand and tried to wrap his lips around my cock. He could, but didn't take too much into his mouth. He bobbed on my cock like he thought he should but only took an inch or two in at a time and without any suction. What should I have expected from a straight guy. However poor the actual blow job was going, it was Nick who was giving it and that was incredibly hot. I was loving every second of it regardless. I must have began to leak a bit because Nick pulled away with a slight disgust taste on his mouth.

"That's what I expected they tasted like." Nick said with some nervous laughter.

"Yeah, if you don't like that you definitely won't like the ending."

He looked visibly nervous. I leaned down and pushed him away from my cock. "You're done. I'm not letting you go any further. Thanks for trying."

He sighed some relief, "Thanks for letting me try. And for that amazing blow job you gave me. I just wish I could return the favor."

"Trust me Nick, I loved every minute of that probably as much as you did." We both smiled.

"Well, do you wanna shoot on my chest?" Nick said.

I froze for a second and then began dying of laughter.

"What? People do that right?" Nick looked at my confused.

"Hahahaha, sure Nick, sure they do. But rarely does a straight guy just go, 'hey wanna cum on my chest?' It was just too funny."

He leaned back and rubbed his chest seductively, playing with himself a bit too. His cock had softened up almost entirely. "Do you wanna cum on this hot piece of man or not?"

I did.

I leaned into him and put one arm on his shoulder and the other on my cock. Nick just stared at the barrel of the gun in somewhat excited anticipation actually. Having this hunk below me, wanting my cum all over him, was enough to help me finish quickly. My balls tightened as the first blast shot forward onto his pecs. 8 steams of hot spunk fell onto Nick, coating his chest, abs, and cock in my cum. I sighed in relief.

"Hot." was all Nick had to say before we both started laughing.

We stayed there for a minute while I got my breath back and then he offered we take a shower. I rubbed his back, he rubbed mine. I probably washed his ass more than I had to but he didn't stop me or protest. By the end of the shower we both had erections again but heading into the living room he put on his briefs which signaled the nights fun was over.

We both fell asleep on the couch that night and I woke up spooning him in the morning. He was snoring. I got off of him and got the rest of my clothes on to leave. Before I left I looked back at this amazing, delicious man I had known for the past few months. He was sprawled out, chest up, almost naked in his tight white briefs. He had a serious case of morning wood going on that was clearly visible.

I felt naughty and probably was risking more than I should have, but I gave into the momentary idea. I got down on my knees and fished his cock and balls out of his briefs and gave them some light kisses. Nick continued to snore obliviously.

I took a step back to admire the view. I decided to take a picture of him like this for later use. I was going to put his junk back in but last minute decided instead to bob on it a couple times for one last taste and leave.

When I got home I felt guilty about the picture. I didn't want to delete it for obvious reasons but felt like I crossed a line. I decided to text him the photo with the caption "Had a great night. Took this souvenir. Hope you don't mind ;)"

That way if he wanted me to delete it he could tell me, but at least he would know that I had it.

I woke up from a nap to a response from Nick. "Likewise"

A few seconds later a video came through. I opened it and saw myself giving Nick head, his loud moans were close to the speaker. That little shit took a video of me blowing him without me knowing. The anger was only a reflex and I quickly found it hilarious that he captured that moment.

I texted him back, "That's blackmail!"

"Maybe it is. I need something to hold onto to remember last night."

"You could always just get the real thing again if you needed a reminder."

"Deal! Deleted."

"You don't really have to delete it, you can keep it for your own spank bank."

"haha good. I wasn't actually going to delete it anyway."

"lol, dick."

....

Bling. A picture of his hard cock and balls came through.

"This one?? ;P"

I was definitely jacking off today. "Tease!"

He replied, "I think we need to have a special work out session each week after our gym sessions. There are some special muscles we need to work out."

"Deal, see you Monday."

My training sessions had become something more, and I was absolutely, fucking floored about it.

[monstersandmaw]

Male orc x female reader (light nsfw) - Patreon tier reward

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

tw: menstruation is mentioned - just putting this first in case anyone isn't comfortable with that.

This was a really fun tier reward prompt from a patron who wanted a couple of things, namely a big buff orc who was impressed at how much the female reader could lift at the gym, who bench presses her at one point, and who is also amazed that those who lose so much blood once a month and can still be super badass (and horny). It’s been up on my Patreon for almost a week now, so here it is for Tumblr folks.

Wordcount: 1910

Hope you enjoy!

You would remember the first time you saw him in the gym for the rest of your days.

He and two of his mates were crossing from the main staircase of the upper-level gym, making their way over to the weights section, and you had honestly never seen such personifications of perfection in your entire life. The three orcs were all pretty huge, but the one at the front who was laughing the loudest and had the biggest tusks - a double set, no less - was just beyond attractive. Probably every eye in the gym was trained on him in that moment.

Long, shiny, dark hair hung down his back in a thick braid, studded with beads and charms of all kinds and colours, and one or two shorter sections fell forwards into warm, dark brown eyes that glittered as he shared a good-natured joke with his buddies. The second was slightly smaller in stature, and had the most incredible arms you’d probably ever seen, shown off to excellent advantage by the sleeveless muscle shirt he wore. He moved between the other two and he was in a manual wheelchair, and the way his arms looked as he propelled himself forwards was almost enough to make you drop the bar you were currently holding halfway towards another dead-lift, the last in that set. The third strode beside her friends, every bit as muscular and beautiful as they were, with long, red-tipped hair tied back in a ponytail to reveal her thick but pointed orcish ears, decorated with studs and rings.

How you had not seen them here before, you weren’t sure, but you assumed they’d just joined up. They certainly weren’t regulars at this time of day anyway.

Just as the largest of them came round to the weights section, he caught sight of you working out and raised an eyebrow slightly. You could have sworn that his lips silently formed the word ‘damn’ when he saw you dead-lifting what happened to be a P.B. for you, and you honestly did try not to preen. His friend looked up at him and elbowed him in the side as he pushed past, heading towards the benches with the female orc. As they went one way, he decided to head towards the stack of bars against the wall near you, and the female yelled over at him, “Oi, Kal - try not to strain something, yeah?”

He just shook his head in a gently affectionate gesture and grinned before turning to you, seeing that you were still using the weight plates and bars. “You mind if I join you?” he asked politely. The way he was almost meek with his question was at complete odds with his physical appearance, and you didn’t mind his company in the least.

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m almost done.” Then you saw the colossal 50kg dumbbell which the minotaur, who had been using the space before you, had left out, and you grinned playfully at him. “Hey, you think you could help me out?”

Kal froze and turned to look at you, somewhat hopeful, it seemed. His eyes were the colour of chocolate, and they crinkled kindly when he smiled. “Sure,” he said. “What do you need?”

Without breaking the rhythm of your last set of reps, you jutted your chin towards the offending pair of dumbbells and said, “Would you mind moving those out of the way? The last person to use them didn’t put them back and I’m not sure I can lift them…”

He pointedly eyed the weights at the end of the bar that you currently had resting on your shoulders, and then chuckled. “Yeah, sure.” And with an oh-so-easy bicep curl, he picked one up in each hand and set them back on the bottom most rung of the rack near the wall. “Listen, don’t suppose you need someone to spot for you?” he asked.

And it had gone from there to him asking you out on a date, and from a few dates to six months’ worth of bliss. Kalar - Kal to his friends - was a huge barrel of laughs. Unlike many of his kind, he was slow to anger and found almost everything funny, to the point where you spent one evening both doubled over on the sofa laughing so hard that you actually skipped workout the next day, claiming that your abs had had enough of a workout for a week.

People who saw the two of you together - particularly his orcish friends and family - didn’t always get how you two were a couple. Sure, humans and orcs mixed, but it wasn’t until Kal proudly told them what your latest personal best was at the gym that they looked at you in a new light. While it was nice to be accepted, the fact that it came initially from your apparently impressive - for a human - ability to lift weights pissed you off something royal, and when Kal asked you about it, you said, “Would you still feel the same way about me if I couldn’t lift at all?”

The horror that immediately flooded into his warm brown eyes reassured you and he pulled you tight into a hug and stroked your hair, more to calm himself down than to appease you. “Of course I would. I’m sorry…”

With a cheeky grin, you smacked his abs with the back of your hand and said, “I expect you to bench twice what you normally do on Monday to make up for it though…”

Kal, never one to back down from a challenge, accepted that immediately, and, because he was a huge dork, he had his own way of doing things. Leaving you a bit puzzled, he got his friend, Kitrik, to start videoing, and then he unceremoniously handed you a 15kg weight plate and said, “Hold this.”

“Kal, what are you -?” you began before he just scooped you up in his arms and barked, “Hold a plank, babe.”

“Are you fucking shoulder pressing me?” you squawked as he did indeed begin to shoulder press you while you did your best to keep your body in a straight line whilst holding a weight plate to your chest.

He didn’t keep it up for long in case he put a strain on your back, but by the time he’d done a decent number of reps and had lowered you to the ground, everyone in the gym was staring and he was giggling like a five year old. He nuzzled your neck affectionately and said, “I love you.”

That was the first time he’d said it, and he never let an opportunity pass him by without saying it after that.

Just a year into your relationship, you moved in together. It took a while to find a place that suited both of you, but when you did, he declared that this one was perfect, and you had to agree with him, honestly. It had wide open spaces and a gorgeous kitchen, and the view from the bedroom looked out over a quiet section of the river below.

Perhaps a couple of weeks into sharing the same space, you had your first major argument. It was over something small and stupid, and it blew up into a big deal, leaving you fuming and emotional, and him sullen and angry. It didn’t help that you were on your period, and yes, to hell with the stereotypes, you did tend to feel emotions a little more deeply at that time of the month.

Unable to bear the tension between you, you came back into the house after taking a short walk along the canal bank to find him unloading laundry into the washer from the basket. You’d agreed to do it this week, but instead of picking another pointless squabble over it, you just stepped over and silently started helping out. He looked down at you, and as he did, he caught sight of the period blood stains - largely washed out now - on your underwear, and his dark green skin blanched.

“What?” you asked, partly amused and partly a little concerned.

“I… Uh… I don’t have any sisters, so… I didn’t… uh…”

You scowled, following his gaze. “Oh!” you snorted. “Yeah, my tampon leaked. Sucks, but it happens sometimes.”

“That’s… after you have a tampon on?” he asked, clearly horrified. The fabric wasn’t bloody anymore, and the remnants would rinse out easily enough in the wash, so it was more amusing than anything to see his obvious shock.

“Mmhmm,” you hummed cheerily, stuffing them into the washer and grabbing the next few shirts. “It’s no big deal.”

He blinked, but didn’t seem to believe that that could be normal.

“I’m probably going to hit the gym later,” you added, just to see how he’d react. Given that the argument was quickly fading into the distance like a passing storm, you added, “I could use someone to spot for me, if you wanted to come along.”

Kal went still again and tilted his head slightly, making a tiny, choked sound in his throat. The movement of his head made his lovely hair swing forwards over one colossal shoulder. “You’re still going to work out?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Actually, moving around helps a bit,” you said, turning to face him. “Not gonna lie though, some months I do just curl up on the sofa or in a hot bath, but it’s not so bad this time. How is this the first time this has come up?” you added incredulously. You’d been around him on your period before.

Instead of responding, Kal’s eyes widened even more and he looked a bit awestruck.

“Kal?” you asked, stretching up and putting your hand on his cheek and stroking his cheekbone with your thumb. “You ok? Is this about the fight? I’m sorry I blew up earlier. I didn’t really mean what I said.”

“It’s not that,” he breathed. “And I didn’t mean it either. No… You’re… You’re amazing.”

That took you a bit by surprise. “What?” you snorted.

Slightly slack jawed, he put his hands on your waist and kissed the top of your head. “I guess I’ve never thought about how much blood you lose once a month. The fact that you still want to work out as well…” he couldn’t quite finish, just shaking his head in awe.

“Is this an orcish thing?” you asked sceptically, leaning back while still letting him keep a hold of your hips. “Like… you know, ‘fighting on despite your terrible battle wounds’…?”

He blinked and laughed softly. “Maybe? I just think you’re really tough. Anyone who goes through that and can still function…”

You rolled your eyes and blurted, “It’s just biology. Come on, let’s go work up and make out.” You bit your lip the instant the slip fell out of your mouth. “I mean… work out and make up.”

Kal - still with his hands on your hips - ran his thumbs slowly over your lower stomach and you couldn’t help the groan that escaped you, your eyes rolling closed.

“You’re worked up already?” he asked breathily.

Licking your lips, you said, “Ok, fine… it’s one of the better side effects of all this very orcish blood and gore… yeah.”

He bit his own lip and his eyes flared bright. Nodding once, he bent to kiss you. “Let’s go work up and make out then,” he said.

—

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[tanzaniiite]

valid // kirishima x reader

prompt: "Why are you crying?” “…I wish I knew”

requests: OPEN

warnings: some good ole angst (my favorite) with a dash of fluff

word count: 2,412

a/n: can’t believe this is my first time writing for BNHA and i’ve been in the fandom for like forever. anyways i want to write more so requests are open.

I don’t have any rules or anything like that yet but i’ll probably develop some as time goes on.

___

Today was one of your extremely rare days off and although you wanted to sleep the day away… you couldn’t. Even though you had made it into the hero course, you felt so out of place with everyone. Their quirks were just amazing, how could someone as average as you top that? Your quirk was simple, telekinesis. You could pick up shit with your mind and that’s it. If you overexert your quirk, you got headaches and sometimes migraines, not a fun time. Ever since your quirk first manifested, you always felt confident with it but now you weren’t so sure. But there was no use sulking over it, you just had to work twice as hard to catch up with everyone else.

You walked into the dorms after having a somewhat lengthly gym session, originally you planned on staying for about a half and hour. But that 30 minutes slowly turned into 2 hours without you noticing. Now you were sore, sweaty and tired. You wanted nothing more than to just flop on your bed and sleep for the rest of the day but once again, you couldn’t. You promised Kirishima that you would help him with the most recent math chapter. Turns out Bakugou whacking him over the head wasn’t the best teaching method, huh, who would’ve knew? You walked past your friends in the common room, waving slightly. “Wow Y/n, you went to the gym on an off day? Man I wish I had your determination” Uraraka commented, noticing your work out clothes. Your other friends nodded and hummed in agreement. You smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of your head, “It’s honestly nothing, just a simple workout. I’m trying to improve on my upper body strength” You explained, your cheeks flushed slightly from the sudden attention drawn to you. Iida looked to you and started chopping the air, “I admire your will to work on your weaknesses, especially on your day off. Well done, Y/n! We all should follow Y/n’s example and dedication to become the best versions of ourselves-“ He stated, slipping into one of his ramblings causing everyone in the common room to groan.

You giggled slightly and walked into the kitchen, Bakugou was there sitting on a stool scrolling through his phone aimlessly. “Hey Bakugou” You greeted, making your way to the fridge and opening it. He grunted in response, not looking up from his phone. You drunk from you water bottle in silence as you pondered on where Kirishima might be. You noticed he wasn’t in the common room with his usual friend group and he wasn’t with Bakugou, which was weird because he didn’t seem like the type to keep to himself. ‘Gee, I hope he’s not sick or anything’ You thought, as you finished your water. “Um, Bakugou? By any chance, have you seen Kiri?” You asked, trying your best to not provoke the hothead. Bakugou rolled his eyes, “How the fuck would I know where Shitty Hair is?” He scoffed, finally looking up at you. You shifted under his obvious glare, “Okay, a simple yes or no would’ve sufficed” You replied, walking out the kitchen ignoring the ash blonde’s threats as you made your way to the showers.

After your shower, you changed into more comfortable clothing before making you way to Kirishima’s room. You had all your books and materials you needed, prepared to teach Kiri some math. You had even went as far as to bring your whiteboard, in hopes to help him understand the material a little better. You rapped your fist on his door, standing back waiting for him to open it. After a minute, you knocked again. No response, huh that’s weird. You pressed you ear against the door trying to hear any movement. Turns out the door is too thick for you to actually hear anything. You hated to just walk in without permission but you knew he was in there. Kaminari told you he had saw him walk in there a few minutes ago. After mentally battling with yourself for a minute or two, you finally decided to open the door.

You smiled as you saw Kirishima sitting at his desk, looking at his textbook. Your smiled faltered as you noticed how much distress he seemed to be in. Upon further inspection, he was clutching at his hair and trembling slightly. You put your stuff down on the floor and slowly walked towards him. He didn’t even notice you were in the room yet, you touched his shoulder gently. “Kirish-“ You started, eyes widening as he jumped from your touch. His head snapped up towards you before turning away and wiping his face, mumbling something along the lines of “I’m sorry”. Even though you only caught a glimpse of his face, it was still heart wrenching. His face was flushed, tears in his eyes and the most heartbreaking expression on his face. It was so different from what you normally saw from him, he looked a totally different person.

Kirishima sniffed and finally turned back to you, his eyes dry and a smile adorning his face. It was like he wasn’t crying and trembling a minute ago. But because you knew that smile on his face was forced as hell, the frown on yours didn’t disperse. “So, what can I do for you Y/n?” Kirishsima asked, bringing you back from your thoughts. His voice was back to it’s normal bubbly self but you could hear the tremble in his words. It was obvious that he wanted to forget the scene that just happened but you didn’t. “We have a study session, I’m helping you with the recent chapter. Remember?” You say, gesturing to your books that you placed on the floor by the door. Kirishima looked at your books and nodded, “Yeah, I totally forgot. We can get started if you’d like” He stated, getting up to get his notebook and other stuff.

You couldn’t focus on what the hell you were trying to teach the redhead. You kept stumbling on your words or losing your train of thought. Your mind kept wandering back to earlier, you were conflicted. You wanted to ask Kirishima about what happened earlier but you also wanted to respect his wishes and forget about it. But on one hand, it wasn’t healthy for him to keep his feelings bottled up but on the other hand, was it any of your business? Kirishima was your friend and you want to help him, but does he even want your help? He probably had someone to talk about this stuff, so what use would you be? You sighed loudly, gaining the attention of your friend. As he looked at you, he noticed your furrowed eyebrows. He guessed you were trying to figure out how to explain to him the next part of the chapter but expelled that thought when he saw that you were just staring at the front cover of the textbook.

“Hey Y/n?” He asked, watching you cautiously. You hummed in response, still staring at nothing. “Are you alright?” The redhead pressed, putting his pencil down. You looked up at him and nodded slightly, “Yeah, um how are those practice problems coming along?” You asked, changing the subject as you ran your fingers through your hair. “I think I’m doing pretty good, I would’ve never pegged you to be a math kind of girl but I actually understand what’s going on? It’s crazy” He laughed, as he gestured to the problems written in his notebook. You stared in awe, you honestly had no idea how Kirishima could be so composed and back to his usual self when less than hour ago he was just crying. Was he always like this and you just hadn’t noticed? Did he always hide his true feelings? Wow, what a shitty friend you’ve been, to not even get the suspicion that something was wrong. “Seriously Y/n, what’s wrong? You’re worrying me” Kiri stated, looking at you with concerned eyes.

You let out a dry laugh, “You’re worried about me? I’m worried about you Kiri. I know you want to forget what happened when I first walked in, but I’m sorry I don’t feel like a good friend just letting something like that go unnoticed” You replied, looking at the redhead. Kirishima looked taken aback before sighing. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t have let that go” He muttered, looking up at the ceiling. “Kiri you don’t have to tell me anything, but I need you to know that I’m here for you. Whether you just want my opinion on something or if you just want me to listen” You explained, taking his hands into yours. The redhead, looked at your hands that were now holding his. Your hands were so small compared to his, and much softer might he add. His lips trembled slightly before he covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to muffle the whimper that left his lips. You squeezed his other hand sympathetically, your thumb brushing over his knuckles gently.

Kirishima tried to choke back a sob but failed, after that the tears just kept coming. You moved closer to him and hugged him tightly, he hugged you back just as tight, his face buried in the crook of your neck as he cried. As you comforted him slightly, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. How long has he been holding his feelings in like this? After what seemed like a good 20 minutes of Kiri crying, he seemed to calm down. Now his head was leaning on your chest while he stared at nothing in particular, his hands clutching your shirt slightly. The redhead was still visibly upset, and as much as he wanted to stop, the tears were still falling silently from his eyes. You didn’t want to break the silence but you think it would be helpful for Kirishima to talk about his feelings, of course you didn’t want to force him so you tried to coax it out of him.

You rubbed his shoulders gently, prompting him to sit up on his own. You felt his body heat leave with him and you shivered slightly. Kirishima had his head down, tears still welling in his eyes as he sniffed occasionally. “Hey.. Kiri? You don’t have to answer this but… why are you crying?” You asked gently, passing him a tissue so he could blow his nose. He took the tissue, mumbling a small “thanks” before blowing his nose and grimacing at the noise. You didn’t ask the question again, knowing that he heard you the first time. Instead you sat next to him patiently, waiting for him to answer. “Honestly… I wish I knew” He stated, smiling weakly wiping his eyes again. You blinked in confusion, surely he had to know why he was upset, that just didn’t make sense. Kirishima noticed your confused expression before he explained. “I mean, obviously, I know why but- it’s just so stupid. I shouldn’t be being such a baby about it-“ He said, laughing dryly and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Stop. Stop belittling your feelings, whatever you’re feeling.. it’s valid Kiri” You declared, grabbing his hands once again, and looking into his ruby colored eyes. “… Y/n please. You’re gonna make me cry again” He said, looking away from you. You chuckled slightly, now holding his warm tear-stained cheek in your hand.

“It’s okay to cry Kiri”

“You sound like my mom”

“Is that good?”

“Yeah, she’s the smartest person I know”

You felt you heart swell, this boy was just too precious. You wanted to crush whatever dark thoughts that were clouding his mind. The redhead sighed, before looking back at you, “I’m honestly not sure what triggered this. I guess it really started when I woke up. You know when you have those days when you just feel like shit? Like you’re doing something wrong or that you’re just not good enough?” He asked rhetorically. You nodded slightly, listening intently. “Well today was one of those days. They happen more often than I’d like to admit but it is what is. I spent most of the day in my room only leaving for a snack or the bathroom. Then I remembered about our study session so I figured I would try to get a head start and at least try to understand the material. And… that’s when it really started. I was stuck on a stupid problem and I was so frustrated. I just couldn’t take it and I started bawling like a baby” He finished, looking at you for any sign of boredom or disgust but he was only met with look of sympathy.

“Oh Kiri..”

“I know, it’s dumb”

“Dude, what did I just say?”

You narrowed your eyes at the redhead before holding his face in your hands. “Stop. Belittling. Your. Feelings.” You said, breaking it down. It literally broke your heart that he thought his feelings were dumb and not valid. Kirishima looked at you with sad eyes, “And I guess the real reason I started crying was because.. who wants a dumb hero? When you or Bakugou explain this work to me, you guys make it sound so simple and I can’t help but think.. is there something wrong with me? A-And who wants a hero that can’t do basic math? Or a hero that has low marks? What if I-“ He rambled. You interrupted him with your lips crashing into his. The redhead’s eye widen slightly before he melted into the kiss and pulled you closer to him. Your hands went to his neck, and his hands snaked around your waist. When you finally pulled away for air, you giggled at Kirishima’s pout. He smiled slightly at you, “Can you do that every time I start to spiral?” The redhead asked, leaning his forehead on yours. “Sure, but you don’t need to spiral for me to kiss you” You replied, smiling. Kirishima tilted your face until you guys were centimeters apart, before kissing your soft lips once more.

Bonus!

“Ugh, there’s dry snot on your shirt. That’s so gross, sorry”

“It’s okay, I don’t care about snot. I’ll just change”

“Take one of my shirts!”

“Oh no, that’s okay”

“Please I insist”

“Alright, I’ll wear you shirt. And Kiri?”

“Hm?”

“Please talk to me whenever you’re feeling down, ‘kay?”

…

“I will”

[fantasiesandbooks]

Tenerife Sea ii

I don’t own any of the photos.

Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

The next day you didn’t want to get out of bed, you really considered on calling the guys and saying you just didn’t feel like working out and suddenly, as if they had read your mind, your phone buzzed. It was Baekhyun, “great way to start the day” you thought. 

You picked up at the third ringing “hey Baek”.

“Hey y/n,” he said in his cheerful voice. “ are you ready? I’m near your apartment and I can pick you up if you like”.

You thought that maybe if you go on your own you could avoid the talk about Chanyeol that Baekhyun was saving for when he sees you but honestly, knowing him, you know sooner or later he’ll bring the subject to bother the hell out of you.

“Yeah, sure! Just let me know when you’re here” you answered.

“Ok, see you y/n”.

“Thanks Baek, bye” you said and hang up.

You thought about what Chanyeol had said yesterday when he asked you if you wanted to impress someone, well that someone was him but he didn’t know. You thought maybe that could be the first step to, at least, get notice by him in another way aside from his best friend. You never were the type of girl that wears revealing clothes but now you considered in showing the curves you’ve worked so hard for, so you put on some black shorts that accentuated your hips and a baby blue tank top that hugs your waist and upper body nicely.  You were getting all your stuff ready when you received a message from Baekhyun saying we was outside, you took your bag and got out of the apartment. When you got into his car he gave you a bewildered look and gasped, “wow, I didn’t know you were that fit”. You glared at him, “Don’t look so surprised, I do work out, it’s just that I do it on my own now since you guys are burried in work” - honestly they worked like maniacs, especially now that most of them were preparing their solo or subunits albums- you put your seatbelt on and he started the car. You were looking at the road when the man asked you “so... what is your plan?”. Oh no! Here we go again with the chanyeol thing you thought, “what is my plan for what?... For my life, my career, this day...?” You answered, trying to seem as if this was unimportant to you. He whined at your answer “you know what I’m talking about, Chanyeol?!... our best friend, the tall guy with big ears and dorky smile, you remembered him, don’t you?” You kind of smile at his lame but almost accurate description of Chanyeol, you sighed  before answering him “honestly I don’t know, I don’t want to tell him about how I feel because I’m too scared he will reject me and everything changes between us but sometimes I feel so frustrated with myself and thinkk I’m going to explode if I don’t talk about it” you looked at your hands and gave another resignited sigh.

“Well... have you ever noticed something off with him, like what he says, the way he looks at you, or how does he’d been acting recently? Something that might suggest he’s interested in you in another way?” He asked you.

“Nothing, I mean he acts as usual and sometimes he says to me that I look pretty or hugs me but that’s something you guys also do, so no...” you said.

“I can’t fully trust you on that as you are kind of dumb for notice that signs” he said and you smacked his arm.

“Why did you hit me?” He said with an offended tone, “it’s the true... remember that guy from our production team that was always trying to talked to you when you were backstage waiting for us. He seemed to be stuck with you until he asked you out and you said no” he laughed at the memory.

That was true, you were clueless on that matter and thought he was just being nice and when he asked you out you felt very uncomfortable and rejected him. “Yes I remembered” you winced at the embarrasing memory.

“See?! That’s my point, maybe you’re not paying enough attention and he’s trying to hint you his true feelings.” Baekhyun said and shrugged.You went silenced and really hope he was right about it.

The rest of the way went smoothly, listening music and talking about others things. You always  had found easily to talked and joked around with Baekhyun, as the same as arguing and fighting, you could say you had a kind of siblings relationship with him.

When you arrived at the gym you two separated to leave their things in your lockers and meet up with the other guys at the training area. Baekhyun arrived first and greeted Chanyeol and Sehun.

Where’s y/n? Chanyeol asked, looking around the area in case he sees you.

“I told her we would be near the cardio area entrance” baekhyun said “oh look! she’s coming” he pointed at you and the other two turned around their heads.

Chanyeol and Sehun couldn’t believe their eyes as you were approaching. They have never seen you in that kind of outfit before because you always wear comfy clothes around them, especially for the gym, since you don’t want people staring at you.  When you greeted them they kept staring at you in awe while Baekhyun smirked and gave you a thumps up without the others noticing it.

“Hi guys” you said at them, feeling kind of awkward at their staring but you fight the urge of covering yourself and tried to appear normal about it.

“Hi” both of them said sounded baffled.

“Damn y/n, you really want to raise some heartbeats here” Baekhyun said in a joking way. “I mean you really look nice, right guys?!” He elbowed Chanyeol, who still was looking at you as if a third head had grown out of your neck.

“You really do y/n” Sehun said giving you a high five. You smiled back at him, feeling a little bit more confident after their compliments.

“Yes... umh... you look nice” Chanyeol said in an awkward way trying to avoid your eyes and scratching his neck.

You didn’t know what to think about his response, in a way you were expecting a different reaction from him, something more enthusiastic if you could say that, not the uncomfortable look he gave you, maybe Baekhyun was right and he felt something for you... or Maybe he thought it was wrong looking at your body since you were one of his best friends” You tried to shake the thought away and asked “so what are we going to do?”  “I was thinking we could workout out in pairs, you know, to Motive each other” Baekhyun suggested “I mean, sehun is lazy on his own and that way it could be more fun” “I’m not lazy” Sehun scoffed, “I like taking my time, that’s why I prefer going on my own”  he started walking towards the treadmill “see you later guys” he said waving his hand without turning to looked at the three of you. Everyone looked after him, Baekhyun gave him a glare and said “remind me to smack him later. What about you Yeol? You’re in?” “Actually… I think I want to go on my own too” Chanyeol said uncomfortably as he looked at you guys.  If you were feeling hopeful after baekhyun’s suggestion, now your mood was going downhill after his response, but still you tried to looked ok and give him a little smile.

“It’s ok, go and we’ll see you after we’re done” you reassure him.

He nods and walked to the other side of the room. As you saw him walking away your smile flattered and Baekhyun groaned in an annoyed way.

“You’re not making my work any easy woman” he said to you.

“What are you talking about?. They clearly didn’t want to be part of your plan” you said in a frustrated way.

“Yes but you could have been a little bit more persistent and enthusiastic about it, instead you just said “it’s ok Chan... see you” he said in an acute voice and smiling, trying to imitate you.

You scoffed at him and said ”I don’t talk like that” 

He rolled his eyes “anyway, lets get going, We’re not wasting our time with these assholes”. He started walking and turned when he saw you were not walking “y/n come on”.               You looked at him with regretful eyes.

“Sorry Baek but i think I want some time alone to clear my head”.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” he said frustrated.

“Sorry, I’ll catch up with you later” and started walking to the lookers room.

“Nice team work” he muttered sarcastically and went on his own.

After 15 minutes sitting and thinking about Chanyeol’s awkward behavior you decided not to let that affected you even more, “you’re better than this” you told yourself, so you cheered yourself up  and went again to the training area to see baekhyun and not let him die on his own, after all he was just trying to help you, although he didn’t mention that was gonna be his “plan” to help you in all the way to the gym.

You went back to the training area and scanned it with your eyes in search for him, saw Sehun on the treadmill and another couple of people working out across the room when you fixed your gaze on one spot. Chanyeol was lifting weights in the corner of the room, you could see the effort he was making in the way his arms and back muscles tensed, sweat in his face, arms and back that make his T-shirt stick to it. “Damn he looks good” you thought to yourself while looking at him. You were not aware of your surroundings anymore until you felt a hand on your right shoulder that startled you.

“You’re going to flood the gym if you keep drooling like that over him” Baekhyun said nodding  at the direction your eyes got lost. Your cheeks started burning as the embarrassament of being caught started growing inside you.

You turned to look at the man next to you and said “Hey…amm… I’m sorry for leaving you” You tried to give him your puppy eyes but he gave you a judging one in return.

“Although I appreciate your apologies, now I’m feeling low and a “sorry” is not enough, I’m afraid, to cheer me up” He said while looking at the floor. You knew he was messing with you, he loved when people beg for his attention. You sighed “fine… I’ll treat you dinner tonight” He turned his amusing gaze to you and was about to say something when you cut him off and added rapidly while pointing a finger at him “But just you, I don’t have enough money for inviting the other guys also”. That was true, you’ll have to wait for your payday until next Friday and in the meantime you were trying to survive with the money you have been saving, which was in comparisson, a joke between their earnings and yours.

“Ok y/n, I think we have a deal” He said in his cheerfull voice again, giving you his signature smile and extended his hand to you for a shaking. You rolled your eyes but shake it anyway, “Let’s go” He said to you and grabbed your hand for you to follow him “I need a really good workout session if I want to eat everything I’m intended to on your treat” He gave you a mischievous smile and you coud hear in your mind your bank account screaming because you knew after that you most likely will have to stick with homemade meals for the rest of the week.

After and hour or so all of the guys and you have finished their workouts, Baekhyun really took the “good session” seriously as he made you do a routine so intense that now you were sore all over your body, maybe even in some places you’d never thought could be sore. You were walking a few steps behind him towards Chanyeol and Sehun who were waiting for you in the entrance and were chatting in a light mooded way.

“Hey guys, how was your workouts?” Baekhyun asked them once he joined the pair. While looking at Chanyeol you could tell he was in a better mood now.

“It was good” Sehun said shrugging and Chanyeol just nodded in agreement. Once you arrived with them, he turned to look at you since you were walking in a funny way and grunting a little bit.

He raised an eyebrow at you and asked “How was for you?”.

“Awesome” “Rough” both you and Baekhyun said in unison. “Nonsense” He said with a dismissive gesture “she can’t handle an awesome trainer as me” said proudly.

You and Sehun rolled your eyes at him while Chanyeol smirked at him and shake his head. Sometimes you can’t understand how the red head has so much confidence in himself, maybe you should learn that from him instead of how to do a “proper squat” according to him.

“Are you ok?” Chanyeol looked at you with a little bit of concern in his gaze.

“I’m fine” you said, but in reality you wanted to crawl back to the lockers room as you were feeling your ass and legs burned like never in your life before.

He nodded at your response and both of you returned your gaze to the other guys who were chatting.

“So what are we going to do this afternoon? You guys want to go out and grab something to eat?” Sehun asked.

“I actually have some things to do at the apartment so I’m gonna go after this, sorry Hun” You replied to him.

“I’m gonna go to the studio, I need to work on some arrangements for the album” Chanyeol said.

“I can´t, I’m going out tonight so I have to get to the dorms to prepare myself” said Baekhyun. The other boys turned to looked at him with a questioning look while your eyes popped open at his answer. Everybody knew he liked to spend his free time enjoying himself whether at a club or a bar but, if he was considering on going on a “ladies conquest”, -as he used to call it- he put a special effort in“preparing himself”.

“Where are you going?” asked Sehun, “maybe I could go with you. Suho wants to cleaned our room and I’m not in the mood of it today,” He sighed and kept his gaze on him.

You got nervous at Baekhyun’s answer as you didn´t want the others to find out about your plans with him, so you squeezed his arm a little bit hard and leaned on him pretending you were having a leg cramp, “oh oh oh it hurts” you said while scrunting your face and trying to rubb your leg, the boys turned to looked at you, Sehun and Chanyeol with a somewhat concern gaze and Baekhyun looked at you as if you were crazy,

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked you and try to grabbed your leg where you were rubbing it. Neither of the two boys notice that you gave Baekhyun a hard gaze and shake your head slighty, he caught the sign as “don´t tell them about tonight” and you turned to looked at chanyeol “oh… it’s ok now, I got a leg cramp but it’s fading already” you stand up straight and Sehun gave you a strange look –weird- he thought to himself but said nothing and turned to Baekhyun again, waiting for his answer.

“So, you were saying…” The tall boy said.

While Baekhyun was trying to come up with a good lie quickly and chatting with Sehun about it, Chanyeol turned to looked at you “are you really ok?” he was scrunting his eyebrows, a thing he’ll do when he was concerned or super concentrated. You returned his gaze “Yes, I mean I’m still sore from the workout but I’ll be fine” He nodded. Both of you returned your attention to the conversation, watching a resigned Sehun giving a heavy sigh “Aah, fine… I guess I’ll be stuck with cleaning today”.

“Sorry Sehun” said Baek in a regretful tone “but hey, tomorrow we can go to the new bar that opened at the downtown center, all right?” he said in a cheerful voice.

“Fine, but the drinks are on you”.

“Yeah yeah, just don’t go overboard with it, I hate to carry you when you get drunk” Baekhyun said annoyed.

“It’s nice making deals with you” the younger said with a smirk on his face.

“That was close” you thought, “ok guys I’m gonna go shower, probably I won’t see you after so goodbye” you waved at them and started heading for the lockers room “ah, Baek… I forgot my jacket on your car, should I go for it now or are we leaving together?” you said as you turned to looked at them.

“Together?” Chanyeol watched the two of you in confussion. “Did you come together?.

“Yes, I picked her up in the morning” said Baekhyun.

“Why didn’t you tell me yesterday? I could have picked you up, too.” Chanyeol turned to looked at you with and unreadable face.

“Because it wasn’t on my plans, he called me in the morning and offered” you said as if it wasn’t something important.

Chanyeol kept looking at the two of you with stern eyes.

“I’m sorry y/n, I have to go buy some food for Mongryong” said the other boy with a regretful look.

“It’s ok, don’t worry, I can take a cab” you said “but can you bring me my jacket?” he nodded “wait here” he said and started going for the parking lot.

“Well guys I see you later, I’m gonna go shower so Baek can give me a lift” Sehun said and waved goodbye at you and Chanyeol.

“I can take you back home” he said out of the blue and you turned to look at him surprised “It’s ok Chan, I can go on my own and besides, you have to go to the studio, I don’t want you to be late” you said, trying to avoid going with him.

 “It’s fine, It’ll only take me a couple of minutes” he insisted so you gave up and nodded in agreement “ok, thank you, so I’ll see you in the parking lot” you said to him, “fine, I’ll see you later” he said and went for the lockers room.

 You could feel how your nervousness started building up at the thought of going with him “It’s ok y/n, you have done this tonnes of times before so it shouldn’t be different” you told yourself in an attemp to reassure you everything was fine “just try not to say something weird or getting deep in your feelings”.

“Hey” Baekhyun came trotting and handed you the jacket. “What am I gonna do?” you said to him with frantic eyes, “with what?” he asked unawared of the situation, “Chanyeol is taking me home” you answered. He grabbed you by the arms “first breathe” he said, making you inhaling and exhaling “second, it’s ok, try to keep the conversation on him, ask him about work, the concert, the other guys, I don’t know, just don’t get in things about relationships and stuff like that” you just nodded trying to list all the things he has just said in your mind.

“You’ve got this, I didn’t raised you to be a whimp” He looked at you with severe eyes. “You didn’t raised me” you said at him, “It’s part of the pep talk, go along with it” he said back and send you  to the lockers rooms.

“I’ve got this, It’s gonna be ok, I’ve got this, It’s gonna be ok, I’ve got this, It’s gonna be ok” you kept repeating yourself to feel less nervous and sighed man, it’s gonna be a long way back home.

[ninaahelvar]

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword - Gendrya Fic (1/?)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she's stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: this was made specifically for my friend @wetbreadofficial, and I didn't really plan on posting it but Gendrya was making me sad and I wanted happy gendrya content (also, this was only mildly beta'd, so if there are mistakes....my bad)

“Shit,” Arya cursed, trying to snatch the bag from the narrow opening in the gate. It had been caught in the gap, but she couldn’t take any other exit in her escape.

“Oh, just come loose, you fucking bitch,” she snapped, wrenching the bag back until she went tumbling back onto her ass. To herself, she hissed before she laughed, standing up to rub at the sore spot on her back. But she was free! The little pain she had meant nothing to her now.  

Arya had slipped past the guards for what felt like the millionth time. She wasn’t good at following rules - ever since she was little, Arya snuck away from guards and security, making sure she had the most fun a normal girl her age would. Being royalty, and certainly not the next in line for the throne, was incredibly boring and a rigid existence. All she wanted to do was play soccer and practice kickboxing, and do fun, adventurous things. But that wasn’t ladylike. She had to wear dresses, and be presentable like her sister.

But Arya wasn’t her sister. She was her own bloody person, and ever since she reached her teens, rebelling was the one thing she was incredibly good at. School may not have been her strong suit, but she was smart, she was tough, and she was ruthless when she needed to be. When her late teens came, a university education expected, there was nothing that interested her. So, she told her father that is wasn’t for her - she wasn’t going to be her sister. Ned was good with her, letting her follow her path. She was never going to be a queen - she could live a relatively normal life.

In the press, Arya was thoroughly regarded as the mysterious young stark. Robb was the next king, his role, clear as day, and he kept his chin up and eyes focused on his task. Jon was their orphaned cousin, adopted by their father when his parents passed - he was nowhere in line for the throne, but he was Robb’s closest advisor on certain military matters. Sansa was the perfect picture of all princesses, prim and proper like every girl was supposed to be - caring and giving to the people. Bran was the budding theology professor if his future university studies went the way he wanted - Cambridge was excited to have him. Rickon - well, he was like every other sixteen year old, a weird kid that had no real vision beyond playing rugby whenever he could.

Arya, was elusive. Press days, she was in photos, stood beside her mother or father, but never stayed long. She had found the back passages throughout the palace, and knew the right time to slip the gaze of even her finely turned mother.

It was hard to explain why, but Arya liked being hidden. Ever since she was a child, seeing her siblings made her want to be invisible. It was easier to hide when the eldest sister was beautiful and smart, everything the country wanted a princess to be. All Arya ever wanted to do was play like her brothers. When it came time for university or military service optional, Arya nearly jumped at the opportunity to get into a fight. But she lacked the skill, body structure and height to be fit for military action.

And it crushed her.

She worked as a military aid for some time, a short stint flying into warzones, but never seeing any action beyond it. She trained hard to be a pilot, finding the pits an alternative to getting into a physical fight, but it wasn’t enough. There was nothing wrong with being a pilot, but she much prefered the ground. But that’s what royalty was for, no real action unless you’re a man, and the mechanics and driving is left to the women - if they even wanted to.

So, all in all, Arya’s time with the royal air force and military wasn’t what she wanted, and everything else seemed tedious. Arya wanted more from her life, a grand purpose - she was bound to slay enemies, rule like an ancient king and have her name plastered in everyone’s memory. But what she was left with was a skirt she hated to wear, and make up that was always rubbed off her face. With those hated skirts.

Arya was known around the area. Of course as royalty, but mainly as the princess that often snuck into their town and milled about, going to any store and perusing for a few hours of her freedom. Not many people brought up her royal lineage, apart from those that she hadn’t visited before. The first explanation often gave them enough to leave her alone if she came back. And she always did.

She had managed to make it into town, no alarm bells, a few texts, but at least there weren’t any calls. When she got called by her mother, she knew it was time to get back to the castle.

On this particular day of her escape, she went to the gym. The palace wasn’t exactly equipped with the machines she wanted, nor did it allow her freedom of looking at new surroundings instead of her tired old home. What she didn’t expect when she returned from changing into her workout gear was the head of security, Brienne Tarth, exercising on a pec flye machine, pulling her arms together and letting them stretch apart.

Ducking her head down, Arya tried to move past her, but the ferocious, and terrifyingly tall woman spotted her the minute her arms came apart. “Your highness! You are not allowed out of the palace without -” She was practically shouting across the gym and Arya rolled her eyes, shifting her weight onto the side of her hip.

“Brienne,” Arya said, quirking her eyebrow. The head of security sighed, letting the weight machine buckle and slide back into place.

“You are...one exhausting girl,” she huffed, rummaging through her bag. “Are you coming to train?” she questioned, finding a towel to wipe sweat from the back of her neck. She stood, her height even more intimidating than it was before, but Arya raised her chin to stare back at the woman.

“I just wanted to exercise a bit and walk around the town.”

“Did you leave -”

“Yes,” Arya replied, knowing the question. Brienne huffed, throwing her towel into her bag.

“I really shouldn’t have put Podrick on your detail,”

“You really set him up for failure,” Arya shrugged and Brienne shook her head.

“Poor boy.”

“I’m going to get to it,” Arya said, pointing towards the treadmill. Brienne started to pack up her things, slugging her duffle bag onto her shoulder.

“Be back by eight. I don’t need to explain to your mother why you’re not at home again.” Brienne began

“And you can’t lie to the Queen,” Arya reminded, the failed attempts of Brienne lying because of Arya’s begging had not slipped either of their memories. “I’ll try!” she called, walking towards her machine.

She knew Brienne would protest - say she should be better than trying, but there was no arguing with Arya. She was a free spirit, and time frames were not how she lived.

Working out until her legs nearly buckled and her arms tired far too quickly, she quickly showered. Wandering from the changing rooms, Arya pulled her hair up, trying to fit it into a loose ponytail. Instead, she was practically floored when a wall of a chest got in her way. He nearly knocked her straight off balance, his hands gripping onto her elbows.

“Shit, sorry,” a deep voice apologised. Arya rebalanced, stepping away from him and looked him over, ready to be pissed. But something in her froze, like a schoolgirl suddenly realising her crush just walked into the room. Yet, she’d never met this man before. He wasn’t tall, but he was taller than her - which wasn’t an accomplishment. His head was shaved, as though it were all the way down to the scalp once, but the budding hair was coming through again. Across his jaw small stubble grew, and close by was the smirk of a cocky man.

“Didn’t see you there,” he said, suddenly looking straight forward then down. A smile crack straight across his face, as though he was keeping in a wanted laugh.

“Is that a dig at my height?” Arya raised an eyebrow, waiting for his reply.

The man swallowed, ducking his head down as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “I could barely see you were in the room,” he said, a smirk at the edge of his lip.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re not very nice to strangers?” she pointed out, and the man cleared his throat, repositioning his stance, as though to gain the upper hand.

“No, but you didn’t let me finish. I was going to say, I could barely see you, now it’s impossible to look away,” he replied, his mouth ajar slightly as his tongue darted out to lick at his lips. Arya huffed out a laugh, taking a step in, and knocking the man off his guard.

“You need to get better at that,” she replied, looking up at him.

He straightened out his shoulders. “What?”

“Flirting. You’ve got the face for it too, your lines just need a little work,” she said, pushing past his shoulder, going towards the exit.

“Noted,” he called out. Arya waved over her shoulder, turning back to briefly to catch him staring. It was oddly refreshing for her - to let herself flirt so openly and not care. She had done it before, but she’d always had a lingering eye catching her and ushering them away before they could even think of getting near a princess. Arya liked being...just Arya.

Captured in a moment, she was just Arya. Not Arya of House Stark. But the moment she pushed the door open, she was the princess again, wandering a town which she shouldn’t have been.

Finding, only a few streets away, a coffee shop, Arya went inside and set up her laptop. She wasn’t doing anything for university - one would have to go in order to do work for it - or even looking up things on her family as some sort of pride thing. Instead, Arya sat and wrote out a speech she was supposed to give at her father’s birthday party in three weeks. Arya wasn’t good at public speaking - drawing attention to herself wasn’t on her to-do list.

But it was her father. And she’d do anything for him.

With a coffee in hand, she tried to write something meaningful to them both, something that might make him cry or even make Robb tear up. But words weren’t always kind to Arya, losing themselves at the crucial moment. Preparing to say what she needed helped - but the boredom was it’s cost.

The bell chimed every so often, signalling a new customer, but it just became an odd occurrence. It wasn’t until someone hovered nearby, tall and straight shouldered that Arya looked up. With a bag hung over his shoulder, and a new coffee in hand, he smiled down to her.

“Ah, gym girl,” he named her, and she rolled her eyes.

“I feel like I need a better name than gym girl, don’t you?”

“Well, what’s your name?” he asked. Arya didn’t know if he knew, he didn’t seem to, otherwise he may have tried to run, or could come on too strong. She just...wanted something normal. He did that for her.

“Private,” she replied, swallowing down the want to connect, replacing it with a wall that had to be built.

“Okay private, you can call me major,” he said with a smile. Arya went back to her laptop.

“A major cunt,” she whispered, but it caught the ear of him. Because he laughed at her snide remark.

“Military codes,” he corrected, and as she looked up, her brow furrowed deep.

“I know that. I’m just calling it as I see it,” she shrugged back.

“You’re kinda rude,” he noticed, tipping his coffee to his lips and drinking some down. Arya reclined back into her chair, hands in her lap as she looked up at the cocky bastard. It was hard to stop smiling when she looked at him - he was extremely attractive, and he wasn’t being a dick like many others had been. She was just defensive. But he seemed ready for that. As though he understood her somehow.

“Well, all this rage builds inside my small body, gotta let it out somehow,” she remarked, smiling back at him. He chuckled at her and she wanted to laugh too, but it felt strange. As though letting herself feel the humour of it all was too much.

“I can see that,” he nodded, glancing down to his watch. “I’ll leave you to it. See you, private.” He gave a lazy salute, going to exiting the store.

“See you,” she said, watching him leave, looking over his shoulder with a small wave in toe,  “major,” she whispered under her breath. She wasn’t going to give him the bloody satisfaction of hearing her say it.

But she couldn’t help but notice that throughout the rest of her time in the coffee shop that she couldn’t stop smiling to herself.

When the night was winding down, the castle looming over the town seeming even more intimidating in dusk, Arya didn’t want to go home. Calling a castle a home was a strange, as though such a building could be a welcoming embrace after a long day. Arya wasn’t one to be waited on, hand and foot. She wandered and moved against what her family name expected of her.

The town dwilded in masses, igniting their lights throughout the town, and the creatures of the night emerged. Those that wanted their night off, crawling from pub to pub, letting their jobs wear them out until they could suffer no more than a nice dinner and a drink - they all came out. Arya liked watching them, wondering what it would be like to be normal like they were. She felt freer than they were, but less free to be...normal.

Finding a group that would not stop chanting, she felt like she was drawn to them like a moth into a burning flame. The Stag Head. They all came wandering in, shouting and greeting everyone inside. The noise was insane, radiating outward, almost filling to the brim with people. And Arya beamed. She almost raced inside, shoving her way into the crowd and finding a spot on the bar. She didn’t get a seat for a while, but she didn’t mind the people - they were happy and loose, letting the night fuel their tired bodies.

Arya sat up on the stool, ordering a craft beer and waited for it to come around. She let the band in her hair come loose, falling around her shoulders and her fingers rubbing at her scalp. Scooping her hair to the side, she rested her elbow on the bar, tapping her foot on the stool’s beam. As a loud cheer echoed over the bar, Arya peered up from scanning the line of bottles on the wall. At the entrance she saw the man she knew as Major.

There was a pulling sensation to roll her eyes at him whilst also smiling until he saw her. Fuck. She was being an idiot. Instead of indulging, she focused back at the bottles. She counted to thirty four before someone met at her side. She almost didn’t want to turn, just seeing his smug face might make her react violently.

She hadn’t experienced...attraction like this. He made her mad at herself for feeling it. It was physical, she thought. He was good looking, and he had a nice enough smile. That’s what made her feel kind of giddy. But most of all, she wanted to punch him in the mouth purely to see if it would stop her from feeling whatever it was.

“Are you even old enough to drink?” he said, and Arya sighed, the smile finally creeping onto her lips.

“Just because I’m short doesn’t mean I’m young,” she said, still not looking his way.

“Sure,” he laughed, and Arya almost cracked, looking to see how wide he was smiling now, “you come here a lot?”

Arya straightened up before leaning back down onto the bar. “Not really. Just kind of stumbled across this place. Quite nice,” she shrugged.

“I’ll let the owner know.”

Finally, Arya looked to him, raising her brow. “Are you just that nice?”

He shrugged. “I know the owner.“

Arya narrowed her gaze at him. “I’m starting to think you’re following me,” she questioned. He scoffed back.

“I live here, you’re the one that’s new here. Are you following me?”

“You’re not that funny,” Arya rolled her eyes as her drink landed in front of her. Arya picked it up, almost raising it to her lips but Major spoke quickly.

“And that’s an expensive drink. You a rich girl or something?” he asked, and Arya scoffed.

“Or something,” she smiled as the glass touched her lips. Major smiled back, waving down the bartender who simply nodded and got him whatever his usual drink was. It ended up being whiskey on the rocks.

The night wound down, the crowds dispersing and the pub turning into an average tavern. Arya was shocked to find herself completely immersed in conversation with Major. He spoke of his time away, wishing he was back home - that he was going to be working with a friend from university soon. Yet, even as she talked to him, she could feel he wasn’t letting something out. She could understand that. But she was royalty pretending to be just...an average woman. She lied, saying she was finishing up university soon, her major being communications. He didn’t understand what she would study, and she said some bullshit about it being too hard to explain.

After Arya’s third beer, Major leaned into her, hand snaking underneath the bottom of her stool. Arya looked back at him, the smile on his face was lazy, mixed with his whiskey - a confidence that he hadn’t exhibited before. Arya stopped her hand from raising, focusing back at the man in front of her.

“What line am I going to have to say to get you to consider going out with me,” he said. And she laughed, resting her elbow on the bar and her chin in her palm. They were inches from each other, staring at each other with an unyielding gaze - as though the first to break would lose.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re going with?” she smirked. He gave back a soft shrug, leaning down a little more.

“I’d like to at least be a contender. Feel like I keep falling over myself when I talk to you.”

“Bet you say that to every girl,” she rolled her eyes. He gave her pathetic lines like that, as though one would break her.

“No. Not every girl,” he said, tilting his head.

“You’re really bad at this.”

“So are you, but you do try,”

“So do you, but I get better, and I make it look easy,” she

“Yes, you do,” he said, suddenly jerking her stool towards him. She finally understood why his hand was under her chair. He wanted this to happen.

“Do you really think you can handle me?” Arya challenged, her brow raised as she stared him down. He softened in a way that made Arya’s heart race. He met her gaze with his own passion. He wasn’t backing down.

“Not at all, but I was counting on that,” he said. He finally found it - the line that broke her. It was as though he was seeing beneath the surface of her, under the walls, and peaking at how she wanted to be treated. She was a threat, she wasn't to be taken lightly. And he didn’t want to - he wanted the handful that she was - even if it were for a night, he wanted her.

Arya shifted forward, letting her elbow slip as the two tentatively leaned into each other. All she wanted to do was feel what his lips were like, if they were tender or rough, if the stubble on his jaw would scrap over her cheek if he pulled her forward like she wanted. But she recoiled first, her phone buzzing in her pocket. She wrenched it free from her jeans, finding her mother calling.

“Shit,” she cursed, the call ending before she could answer it. It was well past midnight, and her mother was only now calling. She was going to be killed before she got home. Fuck. Arya hit her forehead to her phone, standing up and scattering from her things. Major was sputtering out some words, almost standing from his stool, but she sat him back down. “I gotta go. It was nice..flirting with you. While it lasted anyway,” she smiled, waiting a moment, seeing if she’d let herself give in. As her phone chimed again, she knew she couldn’t.

Going for the door, Arya turned back the last second to see him one last time. He was looking back to her, the softest smile spreading across his lips. Everything told her to stay, but the nagging phone in her hand ushered her away from the bar.

When she got back to the palace, the look on both her mother’s and Brienne’s face told her enough - she was dead meat.

And now, a dog on a leash as well.

But...she got one day.

~*~*~

Gendry adjusted his tie, trying not to let on that the night before had gotten to him more than it should have. The entrance to the palace shook him more than it should have - he had been in warzones, but a grand palace foyer had his skin on edge. More than anything, he wanted to get this over and done with - he mainly took this job because his mum’s tavern was having some issues and Jon said the job paid well.

And plus, it was Jon. They’d known each other for nearly ten years, their university days binding them forever. As he waited, at the top of the large staircase, he saw the familiar man from his youth.

“Jon,” Gendry greeted. The short royal perked as he saw him, marching in a determined gate before they finally reached each other.

“Gendry!” he called, embracing him tightly, before leaving an arm’s distance between them.  “it’s great to see you man, it’s been a while!”

“No kidding,” Gendry laughed, pointing to Jon’s face, “keeping the beard, I see,” he said with a nod and Jon scoffed, running a face over his jaw.

“At least I kept my hair,” he replied.

Gendry ran his hand over his head. “Some of us have jobs to do,” he shrugged, “thanks for setting this up by the way.”

“It was no trouble,” Jon said, guiding Gendry up the stairs only to stop mid stride, “but in advance...I’m sorry.”

Gendry went back a step, meeting Jon’s worried look with his own. “Why?”

“You’ll get it soon.” He quickly kept moving and Gendry was left to follow straight after.

“Are you having me shovel horse shit?!”

“You might prefer that in a week,” Jon replied simply and Gendry’s brow furrowed deeper. How the fuck was that meant to be comforting, you prick?

“You’re a cryptic fucker, you know that?” Gendry swore. Jon laughed as the pair were met with a tall blonde woman.

“Brienne Tarth, this is Gendry,” Jon greeted. Gendry extended his hand, giving her a familiar, barely present smile.

“We met for the interview. Getting him to meet his assignment today,” Brienne nodded towards Jon, who had already started to walk off from the pair.

“Have fun!” he called out, going about to wander the halls of the palace - letting Gendry suffering with his lack of information.

“Why does he keep saying that,” Gendry said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

“You’ll understand soon enough,” Brienne said, barely registering a shift in tone.

“I’m beginning to regret this,”

“You’ll be on the youngest daughter, Arya. Code name is Nymeria,” she said, handing him a folder full of who he was set to protect.

“Why?” he asked.

“She had a dog when she was younger, and wanted it to be her code name. So, she’s stuck with it now,” Brienne waved the question off, as Gendry slowed down to read over the folder, picking up on a few lines, flicking a few papers over and catching a glimpse of the pictures of his assignment.

Gendry stopped midstep. This had to be a joke right? This couldn’t be the same -

“Hurry up,” Brienne said, and Gendry focused back to her, immediately rushing to keep in step with the head of security.

~*~*~

Arya had positioned the rod up in her walk in wardrobe, locked in between two walls to allow her to do pull ups in her own room. Since she’d fucked up the day before, she was essentially under house arrest until her mother worked out what punishment would fit Arya better.

It would be punishment to Arya - it’d just be another royal outing of some kind, donating to a charity and speaking to a crowd that had no idea who she was.

Arya huffed, locking her ankles in place as she urged her body up again. She’d been working out for nearly an hour before she heard a knock at her door. She was hidden away in her wardrobe, so seeing anyone was impossible in her position.

“Your highness?” she heard Brienne call.

“Here!” Arya grunted, pulling herself up again, and when she saw Brienne walk in, she dropped to the ground. Sitting down, she stretched out her arms, bending and arching her body to not tense up.

Arya stopped the minute she saw the man behind Brienne. Her mouth was dry, and she felt like coughing until she didn’t choke anymore. Because that’s all her body wanted to do - choke on the moment, because this could not be happening. Was this the punishment? Did they somehow find him. She stood, dusting herself off.

“Your highness, this is Gendry Waters, your new bodyguard.” He gave a soft bow as a greeting. Arya wanted to return it, but stayed still. Oh no, this was much worse than punishment. It was unintended punishment and embarrassment. Her mother, or the fucking universe, really knew how to kick her in the gut. “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t you dare scare him off like the others.” Brienne turned on her heels, moving out of the wardrobe.

“Hey! It’s not my fault Sam can’t keep up,” Arya called out just as the door to her room shut.

The two stayed in silence, the deafening way it surrounded them, reminding them of what was being unsaid. They weren’t going to avoid it - and because Arya hated awkward situations, she was definitely going to bring it up. She knew her mind, how she was going to spit it out. Her walls coming straight back up.

“I don’t remember you saying you were a bodyguard last night,” Arya quipped, moving past him swiftly to get to her bed, and reaching for the towel that rested on the edge. She wiped away the sweat on her body, covering her shoulders once she had finished.

“Never mentioned you were royalty either,” he reminded her. “Your highness,” he corrected himself quietly.

“Don’t call me that!” she snapped, her cheeks feeling red hot. She hope the colour didn’t show. More than anything, she hoped he didn’t notice how much she hated him calling her that.

Gendry suddenly stepped into her orbit, catching her off guard. “Or what, your highness?” he asked, an edge to his words. Tempting.

“I have to get back to not being here,” she cleared her throat, moving ahead of Gendry and making her way out of the room without taking a second glance, “keep up or I’ll drop you like dead weight,” she warned, making sure her pace was hard to stay in time with.

“Noted,” Gendry said, walking one perfect step behind her. She was thankful for that, because she smiled so wide, she had to bit her lip to stop the laugh she wanted to let out. Instead, she raised her chin and began walking a little faster to see if he could keep up.

He could. And he did.

[freckled-words]

Repost: Control

Because it is the spooky month! And because it was requested by my lovely blog wife @the-wild-ego​ Edited by @the-wild-ego​ Art done by @goodieghosty​ Inspired by & lyrics from “Control” by Halsey

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

God damn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?

You weren’t normal. You’d known that for as long as you could create memories. 

It had just taken you awhile to realize what made you different from the other kids. 

In your eyes, the world didn’t hold just people, plants, and animals. There were also the “Others”. The creatures that hid under the bed, or made nests in dust piles, or watched from the shadows. 

When you’d tell your grade school classmates about the man with his head split open, three eyes, and teeth that were made of pine needles, they’d cry. They were scared. You were telling them about monsters. If they’d let you finish, they’d know that the Pine Needle Man had only wanted help finding pine cones. 

When you’d write stories about the tiny dust rabbits that lived under your bed, and share it with your English class, your teacher would scold you for writing about fiction. The assignment was supposed to be on the real world. 

As the years went on you stopped sharing with people. You turned to the library, and the internet, learning that you had a gift, or a curse. It was called ‘The Sight’. You could see through the layers that separated humans from the world that overlapped with the mortal plain. 

The house was awake, the shadows and monsters

The hallways, they echoed and groaned

I sat alone, in bed till the morning

I'm crying, "They're coming for me"

Understanding this about yourself did not make things easier for you. Because you stopped sharing what you saw, you didn’t tell people about the Others that would hang around in your classroom. You couldn’t help but acknowledge them, especially when they became agitated with being ignored. You tried to quietly send them off with a growled, “Go away” or “Buzz off!” Except someone else in your class would hear you. Then word would be spread that you were talking to yourself, and yelling at things that weren’t there.

Of course you’d been sent to the Principal’s office a handful of times. 

Each trip your parents had to make to the school was another evening spent being yelled at within the privacy of your house. 

“Why can’t you be like the other children?!”

“An embarrassment to this family!”

It didn’t matter which parent was yelling. They both conveyed the same message.

You were alone. Left to fight off the ghosts, ghouls, and unnamed on your own.

So you did.

Year after year, you faced down the Others. Some learned to leave you alone. Some found you to be their favorite source of entertainment. 

When you’d go downstairs in the mornings, with gashes on your arms, or bruises on your face, your parents assumed you’d snuck out in the night. You’d be grounded for having done nothing other than surviving.

With each year, you withdrew from other people. There was no point in trying to befriend anyone, not when you’d just chase them off with your odd behavior soon after. You got to a point where you only interacted with someone when forced to. You had a particularly strong dislike for partner/group assignments.

By the time you got high school you’d become numb to anything “scary”. Death, in particular, had long since lost it’s fear factor. Some days you had a stray thought that, should you die suddenly, no one would miss you. 

As that thought settled in and repeated itself more often, you learned that the phrase, “Negative draws negative.” was certainly true. 

The Others were, for the most part, small things. Tiny beings that you could push, or shove off you when they began to cling. In your final year of high school you noticed that the smaller ones were being replaced by ones that were bigger and more aggressive. The worst ones were able to speak to you. 

They would hover near you during classes and whisper, ‘Look how high up we are. If you opened that window, and fell, you’d die. Wouldn’t that be great?!’ 

Everything they would say was about you killing yourself. You hated it. You hated them. You wanted them to shut up. More than once you’d had to hastily leave the classroom to use the washroom, an attempt to put distance between yourself and their horrid whispers. 

Home didn’t offer any form of salvation either. Your parents had decided to act as though you didn’t exist, unless you directly spoke to them when you needed something. In response, they’d give you a cold stare and hand you a small bit of money to get what you needed. They weren’t really your parents, they were just the people that legally had to take care of you until your 18th birthday. You wouldn’t be surprised if on that day you found yourself living on the streets. 

And I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead

The days blended together. Only being broken up when an Other, of particular appearance, caught your attention. 

Half way through the school year, your Phys Ed teacher became fatally ill and had to be replaced. Your classmates were fine with this. Ms. Charts was a drill sergeant and never gave anyone special exceptions. 

“I caught sight of the new teacher. It’s a guy! And he’s hot, with a capital H. I really hope he wears something that shows off his body.”

Although you didn’t interact with your classmates, you still paid attention to what they said. It didn’t hurt to keep informed on things happening. Sometimes bad things that happened to others were your cue to watch for meaner beings they couldn’t see. 

Going into the gym that day you put in the effort to learn about the new teacher. Your eyes went to him, and you froze. 

Your lips parted in a silent gasp. 

For nearly 18 years you’ve seen things that were gruesome, disfigured, and down right haunting. 

Your new gym teacher. Was not human. Nor was he something you’d ever seen before. 

If you squinted you could see the version that everyone else could see. A man in his mid to late twenties. His hair was buzzed on the sides in and clipped short on top, much as a soldier would. He had dark brown eyes, and skin that was naturally tanned in a shade of light copper. You figured he had some Asian ancestry. Standing roughly 5 feet 9 inches his body frame was lean and hinted at a lot of muscle not being displayed. 

Your Sight showed you something entirely different. 

The short hair was grown and pulled back in a low ponytail at the base of his neck. There was a slight glow to his skin that made his copper tone seem golden. His irises were a solid amethyst with black slit pupils. His eyes had a natural dark lining on the bottom rim. As he addressed the class, introducing himself as Mr. Battle, a length of shadows curled around him. When you tilted your head ever so slightly you realized it was a tail! It twitched at the tip, or swayed back and forth. 

Altogether, he seemed to be a humanoid feline? 

“ Y/N? Y/N!”

You startled at your name being called. While you’d been digesting this new discovery, he’d begun doing roll call. You ducked your head with a slight glare as your classmates snickered. His gaze leveled on you, and very briefly his brows furrowed, as though he were puzzling over you.

“Alright, start with laps!” He projected his voice like a military sergeant, making everyone jump and take off for the outer edge of the spacious room. 

As you ran you felt his stare burning into the back of your skull. Anytime you turned to meet his eyes, he managed to look away and watch the rest of the class. 

You didn’t like this, you didn’t like him. 

Throughout the rest of the warm ups, basketball drills and a couple more exercises, you put together a plan. It was a stupid plan, and it would put yourself at risk, but you didn’t care. At least you’d die from something more interesting than a blob with teeth and eyes.

Your Phys Ed class was right before the lunch break, meaning he wouldn’t have another class to follow. If you got lucky, you could confront him here in the GYM without anyone seeing. The last thing you wanted was an audience to mock you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Changed back into your regular clothes, you’d hung back in the change room, waiting for everyone to leave. 

The bell for lunch period rang and you listened to your classmates dash out of the GYM. You gave it a minute or two before venturing out.

Just as you’d hoped, Mr. Battle was the last remaining person. What you didn’t count on was for him to be clearly waiting for you.

Those slit pupiled eyes rested on you, his arms were crossed and his posture reminded you of a cat resting casually, ready to spring at any second.

“I was wondering what had this place crawling with creepy crawlies. I got my answer pretty quick.” The military sergeant tone was gone, in its place, a more natural rumble. 

That wasn’t what you thought he was going to say. Thrown off, you quipped, “Look who’s talking.”

The layer around his form, that portrayed a normal human vanished, leaving you with a clear, unblurred view of himself. “You’re not very smart. You have the Sight, not the Gift. Don’t get cocky brat.”

The tail, that had been made of shadows before, was a true solid black tail now. The end of it flicked back and forth, another sign of irritated. 

You clenched your fists within your hoodie pockets, “I’m smart enough to know you can’t kill me, not if you want to keep up appearances as a teacher.”

His upper lip raised a little, allowing you to get a glimpse of a sharp canine, “I’m not here by choice. Your school has been drawing more and more Nega Dwellers and they’ve started spilling onto my territory. Once I deal with this mess, I’m handing in my resignation.”

His arms fell to his sides, he flexed his fingers and his natural nails lengthened into gold tipped claws. 

Your feet shuffled back, startled, a spike of fear breaking through your false bravado. Was he really going to kill you?! 

“Y-You can’t kill me, they’ll immediately suspect you.” There was a quiver in your voice. 

Why now? For these past few years you’d told yourself that death could come, and the world would be the better for it. Now here was death, ready to shred you apart, and you didn’t want to die.

Your fear increased as his lips drew back, showing more teeth in a feral grin, “Don’t worry kid, you’re not gonna feel a thing.” He crouched low, his body tensing and ready to spring.

The glow around him expanded into a bright light, blinding you. Covering your eyes, you heard his shoes squeak as he sprung forward. “PLEASE DON’T!”

There was a rush of air, you felt it blast past you, there was a series of squalls and pitched squeals. Lowering your hands you hesitated to look.

Standing just next to you, Mr. Battle held a squirming black thing. You paled seeing that it was roughly the same size and shape as you. A mouth with rows of teeth gnashed together as it thrashed around. 

“Good job kid, if you hadn’t snapped out of it, you would have made me a liar.” His slitted pupils slid back to you, “If you didn’t find the will to live, you would be feeling your own throat being crushed right now.” 

His clawed fingers squeezed and the creature squealed louder. The thing tried looping parts of its goopy body around his arm, to make him let go. 

You stepped further back, a hand covering your mouth as you shuddered, “What… What is that?”

“This nasty thing is called a Life Leech. This is the biggest I’ve seen in a few years. Usually when they get this big, the person they’re possessing commits suicide.” His tail swayed widely back and forth, his smile wide and pleased. 

“How did I not see it?!” How long had that thing been feeding off you? Was it when you started having those thoughts? Thinking that death would be fine, thinking that no one would miss you if you killed yourself. Although you were distant from your parents, you knew they would be upset with your passing. Years ago, you promised yourself to move somewhere quiet, away from the darkness and the coldness of your family. When had that changed to giving up? To just craving death and an end to it all?

Mr. Battle held out a hand and a golden blade appeared. You could see Egyptian hieroglyphs carved into the steel of the blade, the end of the hilt was shaped into a lion’s head. He thrust the blade up and under the Leech’s chin. It died instantly as black, bubbling liquid spewed from the wound and it’s mouth. He released its body and wiped the blood off his blade on the side of his pants. 

The blade vanished and Mr. Battle seemed to become an entirely different person as he yawned. His posture slouched and his tail lowered to give the odd little sway, “You can see some shit kid, but not everything. You’re welcome by the way.”

You were still reeling from the thing being revealed to you, and the impact it had had on your life. 

Seeming to pick up on that Mr. Battle strolled off towards the exit, “See ya, kid.”

He was just about to push the door open when you managed to pull some of yourself back together, “W-Wait! Who are you?!”

Looking back over his shoulder he reprimanded, “Not that you’ll see me again, but it’s Mihos.”

Then he was gone. 

Somehow you got yourself to continue through the rest of the day, and it all seemed surreal as everything seemed to be less daunting. 

When you made eye contact with your classmates, they didn’t flinch or return it with scorn. A girl even gave you a small smile back. 

The Others that had plagued you with suggestions of killing yourself were gone. So, too, were the ones that had seemed like permanent fixtures in the corners of the classrooms and in the hallways. Had you been the one drawing them all here? That Life Leech had been stirring up so much negative energy in you, it had been a homing beacon for the worst of them. 

New ones began to show, smaller, and surprisingly timid ones. They reminded you of the Pine Needle Man. They weren’t there to cause harm and had been kept away by all the more menacing ones. 

Mihos had said ‘Nega Dwellers’. If the Life Leech and the Others that meant harm were called Nega Dwellers, what were these nicer ones called? Was there a way to make sure the Nega Dwellers didn’t latch onto you again? Or what about getting them off other people?

You’d been so intent on keeping yourself away from other people, to protect yourself from their scorn, and ridicule, you’d never thought that maybe you could help them. You’d come close to stepping over the edge and letting death take you, there had to be others that could be saved from making the leap. 

Your interaction with Mihos had happened all in a handful of minutes. In that short span of time, your mind had been opened to the rest of the world that only you could see.

You couldn’t navigate it on your own, that much had been made apparent to you. Would Mihos help you? 

You recalled his dismissive behavior and how he’d magically vanished after dealing with the Life Leech. No one was talking about the good looking gym teacher anymore, in fact you were certain no one remembered the details of GYM class. Just that it had happened, and it had been uneventful. How had he done that?

For the first time, you had goals for yourself. The first being to find Mihos, the second, was to convince him to teach you. 

Life wasn’t going to be a monster that drained you away until you were nothing. It was going to be the monster you befriended and helped you explore the dangers of the world. 

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Hi babes! Chapter 4 for you! It’s a biggie!

Eternally grateful to the tripod, without @dirtystyles -and @bleedinglove4h I would fall on my face- maybe into someone’s cleavage if I timed it right!!

Ski Da Yo- Chapter 4

It's silly really, the entire scenario that she's found herself in. Ada could laugh, nobody would hear it over the music. It's loud, and people are taking turns at the stage. Though She could go join the group, she should, rather than lurking in the corner like a weirdo, fixated on a previous performance. She's not laughing, even at herself. She'd kinda drooling, way more embarrassing.

But she just had to watch him.

He was in his element, relaxed, on, charming, lit up like a Christmas tree. Merry, bright.

She'd never seen him like this, in the flesh. Glimpses, in the interviews she watched and called research. She'd seen the fuss there, agreed to the picture partly on the strength of it.

She could see it, what the fuss was about. And it was the first real glimpse she'd had, besides those moments she felt she had to steal from him to get on film. She was beginning to think there was a limited supply of Styles' magic. Perhaps, that was why she was only able to get a precious few minutes a day.

Watching him now, that did not seem to be the case. Harry was incandescent and she felt blinded by the light. She could chalk that up to all of her rockstar fantasizes brought to life, but it didn't explain everyone else's rapt attention on him, their enthrallment. Maybe they all had a grunge fetish too?

When she walked in and she clocked him, even with the stupid glasses that obscured his face, festive she supposed, he looked different.

On set he looked, perfect was the word that came to mind, but not in the way people usually meant. Polished and made up and proper in his prince clothes.  Perfect, fake. And anxious, like the film was a bit of an albatross around his neck. Or maybe the pressure.  And he looked like it was heavy, all the trappings trapping him. Ada worried over it. Like, the movie made him regress. Maybe it felt too familiar. He said that a lot when they talked about scenes, when he was frustrated with himself.

"I know just how he feels."

Because he had been there. Is that why he had such a hard time getting the shot? Because it made him freak out a little, feel like he'd not called his own shots for years? But he'd made these choices. Had agency. Maybe she could help him see it as therapeutic. Because it was a way to safely rebel - a redo, no risk.

She'd talk to him about it. They needed to have that drink. She could order him one now.

Ada shook her head. Not tonight. She didn't want to kill his vibe tonight. It was too lovely to watch, and to live she guessed. No shop talk.

He looked light as a cloud, and as soft edged too.  Nothing perfect or fake about him. His skin was a little slick under the stage lights, the ridges near his nose were shiny especially. He had glitter on his cheeks, but not like highlighter, like the glasses he wore were cheap, and shedding tiny pieces of shine.

But he did shine.

And he had sounded good.

Not everybody could sing Nirvana, in a chest voice no less.

She was weaned on that. And really into indie rock, especially grunge, while her dad was fostering 90's slick hip hop. It was a silly means of rebellion, but she took her opportunities to disappoint Garner seriously.

She remembered her dad had called the cover of in utero obscene, which made her laugh as he had just put out a video full of nearly naked females in bikinis, but anatomical drawings were obscene. Okay.

She had snuck a new copy in after he threw the first one away and poured over the lyrics in her baggy jeans and crop top with a flannel. Had a giant crush on Kurt, May he Rest In Peace, and when she met Dave Grohl it may have been the only time she was really starstruck.

Well, she felt like she had been hit about the head by a celestial being currently. Harry had it, that was for sure. How had she missed it? The bushel basket he'd been hiding his light under must have been thick. There was something obscuring her view or his personality definitely. Not tonight. Star power was all over him tonight; that was the boy she had signed up to direct. Right there, from those red carpet clips she'd watched. Those sold her and then she had watched concert footage, shaking camera and all. Those were another level. This silly karaoke gig almost matched the wattage when he was bedecked and bantering on stage. He looked dashing, and like he could carry a movie on his thick shoulder pads all with a joke on his vibrant lips. That man was in this building, singing one of her all time favorite songs. It had an effect.

Wow, the rasp in his voice. God, she was still reeling and hiding out in the back like her crush was nearby.

Her eyes widened.

That's what was going on! She was doing what she had done with Danny Diaz in 10th grade. She wasn't teenage dream obsessed about him, really. But, she'd paid him a lot of attentions, clandestinely. He'd been so cool, and was really into raving. Which, in hindsight, made his post high school life a little clearer. But he liked music that had nothing to do with her dad and he was cute, had long bangs and a shaved head and he could dance! She loved to dance.

She needed to go, before this bloomed like a cherry blossom and she fell off in a great big clump to wait for shoe marks. Like 10th grade, only less poetic.

The pathway to the door was clear. Her heels on the floor made a click click click, though nobody should be able to hear it. She turned back to make sure nobody was following her, was watching, and her heel caught, right in a crack in the concrete floor.

"Shit!" Her ankle twisted and her heard a crunch, that was not good, but her trajectory to the ground wasn't either. Her hands went out to catch her.

He smelled good, like leather a bit, smoky, with a sweet tinge. And he caught her and hoisted her up like she was feather light. She never felt like that, because she was the tallest of her friends, not even tall, just taller, and she had never been small. She had that insta baddie body before it was popular. Grown up in the big titty, little hippy 90's. She always felt huge.

But not right now. He had her, was righting her before her weight came down and she properly broke something. This felt like that time she'd sprained her ankle jumping fences to go skating with the boys. Stupid heels.

Back to the rom com moment she found herself in. He's caught her under the arms. His hands span her whole armpit and his fingers curled into her scapula. Ada spared a thought for how sweaty her underarms might be. Yuck! But she should be ok, she'd gotten properly ready, lots of antiperspirant. She knew that, took a deep breath and then realized she'd missed something. He's staring at her expectantly. The rockstar with the totally revealed charm. Harry.

"What?" It came out with no finesse, like a burp.

"You ok?" Harry was kinda grinning and loose, left eye more hooded than his right, and his breath, definitely 80 proof. She heard the shift and he's no longer got her in a dip fit for a tango . She felt like she'd been whirled and thrilled.

"Um, I think I'm ok." She realized they were still locked in an embrace when she tried to check her foot. Ada looked down at the place his hands had migrated to, on her hips. She didn't really need to look, she could feel all ten fingertips, like little bruise marks formed from hope not pressure. It saved her from looking at her own hands where they were full of the muscular forearms she knew to be covered in tattoos beneath the green button-up he had on. It was a a stall.

But Harry released her the minute he saw her eyeing his familiar hands. She had him well trained apparently. Massive walls between them. They were massively out of place at the moment, regrettable. She wasn't balanced on her feet yet either. Ada nearly fell before he steadied her with a rebound hand at her hip. She caught it to stand on one foot, for safety.

Her ankle circled around ok. She felt a twinge of pain, but it was entirely manageable. That was good. She'd probably need to stay off of it, no treadmill tomorrow, and she'd need to elevate it. Ice too, she could ask the bartender for some.  She was plotting how to locate an ace type bandage, and who would be best to ask for that. They may have some in makeup - they'd used them to bind breasts on Wildflower, but she couldn't think why they'd have them for this movie. Harry had perky nipples, but they didn't need to be bound. Stop thinking about Harry's nipples. The lowlight would thankfully mask her blush. Wait, Maybe she could ask his friend, Masa, he owned a gym.

Harry. She could ask him too. And that would be really easy because he was still right there. Holding her hand.

They had laced their fingers at her hip. Ada looked at Harry, he had a huge lazy smile on his face. Pleased as punch. She was punch drunk, though she wouldn't say it. He looked so young and toothy. Though the gathering of sweat at his hairline, little droplets above his upper lip, made him real. Imperfect.

She shook herself and their hands unlatched. "I need ice I think?" Of course she needed ice. What was she talking about? Who even was she? Next she's start babbling, and tuck her hair behind her ear and duck her chin.

"Yeah, and a way to put it up." His head swiveled around and he nodded. "C'mon." He gently took her arm and looped it around his shoulder. He was just tall enough.

The table was closer than she would have liked, a walk under his arms was worth remembering, but it was good for her foot. Harry sat her in a booth and put both hands out in a straight stay there motion then grabbed a chair and propped up her ankle gently. The wrong one, but she went with it.

"Be right back." He tripped a little as he looped off to the bar.  Ah, that looked normal. The trip to the bar was only the chorus of the song too. He didn't wait long for the bartender. The whole place seemed to be filled with their group, pleasantly vibrant, but not busy. . It was a quick exchange, with a little sign language thrown in. He was big on hand talking on a normal day. Gesticulating when he described most things. He was very full body engaged and engaging before scenes, before he floated away on her.

Huh, she just thought about that, Henry wasn't gesticulative. A little more in the Akio scenes.

She hadn't noticed that Harry had layered physical control into his performance. She found herself nodding. That was good.  Made total sense for a royal.

He was walking back to her now with a thin white towel and he was crunching ice in it.  Oh shit - she hadn't switched feet, she'd been watching him.

"Cold!" She flinched, "a little warning Styles!"

"Sorry," he chuckled. "I figured me walking from the bar with a towel after I went over to get ice was warning enough." He curled his tongue a little at her and the ice gave her goosebumps.

Wow, maybe he needed liquid courage on set sometimes. All his nerves were gone.

"Usually someone tells you they are about to put ice on you, even nurses, unless they are trying to be little shits!" She arched one of her brows st him. They were her favorite feature and she used them to her advantage.

"You got me, just wanted to see you squirm, since you get to see me uncomfortable a lot." His slow cadence sometimes bugged her on set. It was another thing she could find irritating, during the literal 11th hour. Ada talked fast. She talked a mile a minute on set because they had shit to do and her brain was usually ten paces ahead of her mouth.

But it was kinda nice, the way he took his time.

"You sounded really good! When you were singing." Oh God he blushed. It was his job to sing, did he know that? "You moonlight in a Nirvana cover band often?" She flexed her foot where his hand was still moving ice around to find the sore ligaments, on the wrong foot. She followed the fire and ice.

He squawked a laugh. "No, just the one time, and only because Kunichi is so persistent. I think he could sell bad fish to a Tokyo chef!" He raised his eyebrows and Ada caught her hand just before she covered her laugh.

"So, it's not the song you've always wanted to sing? That wasn't you living out your teenage rock dream?" He shook his head, just hers then.

"Oh, it's a great song, I love rock." He moved his head like, obviously. His body of work spoke to that. "But I like a little more melody when I'm convinced to do karaoke," he made a drinking motion and she was laughing again. "I like disco divas and duets. And if there is absolutely nobody around to tell on me or god forbid, record, Britney Spears is a blast to perform." He'd placed his hand to block his lips from curious eyes and leaned in to tell her this secret. His lips were plump, they like to reach out and touch her faith.

She was thirsty.

Oh shit, did she just say that out loud? How much had she already had, while skulking in the shadows?

"Sure, what do you fancy?" Quicksilver grin, poisonous and enigmatic.

"Um," what had she already had? "A dirty martini!"

"How dirty?" He flashed his eyebrows.

"Very, three extra olives." She gave him her single brow, the one that she used to dare him when that was what he needed on set.

"Three olives!" He made a shocked face. "Well, I never." And he gave her the goofiest grin and went to grab her drink. He looked comfortable. Like a favorite hoodie she wanted to wear. She only got to really watch him one way. He was back quickly.

He sat by her when he put down her cloudy drink. She'd switched legs while he was away and thought she'd got away with it, but caught his eye as he was studying her legs and he smirked at her.

That was a damn good face. "You need to do that for the scene Monday, the one at the club." Ada segued seamlessly into shop talk. She was actually really excited about that one. It was set at a place she had frequented in her time here; she had really happy memories. She was feeling really excited too, this felt like an actual fresh start, she should have taken Harry up on his offer of a drink ages ago. He was a joy loose. This was the rapport they needed, him loose and smirky, handsome with a side of solicitous and cocky sauce. This was the Harry Styles she'd been waiting for!

🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵

Harry felt like he should get an Oscar for this performance. For his steady hands, that he was currently sitting on, and the confident smirk. It wasn't all an act, but the amount of times he'd had to turn this on like a lightbulb in an interview was invaluable right now. It was mostly fake those times, maybe even faker now. He had been relaxed and joyous, and then he had been so relieved to see her smile at him, he just went with it. But the minute he walked away from her, the first time, for the ice, the nerves kicked in. But he faked it, like a seasoned porn star, because she was looking at him, and touching him, and holy shit! Ada Scott was hanging with him. He would keep the action and make the moans believable.

Wow! Was this the way women felt all the time? When they had to put on some performance for the man they were interested in, or for the men they weren't, but couldn't offend?

It felt easier to relax tonight. The day had set him up for success. Things had ended so well on set, and he'd been in the best mood, and had gotten brave. He'd gone to her trailer. To invite her again.  Harry was excited about the evening at the bar and seeing music, though he wasn't sure what it would be like, because it wasn't a gig, nor karaoke, some hybrid he had been told. He liked novel nights out.

But everybody was coming. His whole Japanese network, including Jeff and Masa and his girl!

Everybody but Ada. So he'd put on his man panties and went going to ask her.  She needed to be there, and even though she'd turned down all of his invitations and returned the replacement shoes, he was going to ask her again.  For the whole cast. They had months left and needed to bond.

He needed to bond with her. It felt possible after their day on set, her brow wasn't creased and she didn't speed walk away. She slowed down enough for him to keep up. They'd had a conversation, not about a scene. He'd kept up and not drifted away on her voice. She walked and talked fast. He liked it.

Masa loved to laugh at him, and was doing just that while he psyched himself up to go talk to her. "Just go ask the lady." He'd arrived to take him back to the hotel to Harry stalling. Masa was giving him a look.

His grin was presumptuous. Harry didn't like it. It felt like he knew. Yuki knee, Masa might. Harry did, know, but he didn't think he was so obvious. Did she know?

"You need a tutu?" Masa heckled.

"What?"

"Your mind is like a dancer on drugs," he made a flitting motion with his hands. "you might need a tutu for making the decision. "

"Oh fuck off, man!"

"Just go ask her. It's a cast party, I haven't even met her and she's supposed to be the leader. She needs to come. A leader should." Masa's brow shrunk.

"She is the leader, she's the boss!" He was full of defenses for her. "If you were allowed on set you'd see."

"Oh, I'm not allowed." Harry had neglected to outright tell him that, just let him be distracted, that would run out when they had to go on location. Whoops.

"You'd make fun of me, I've been totally fucking up. So you aren't allowed. At all."

"Isn't the movie about a royal fucking up?" Masa said after catching his wheezing breath. He sounded like a dragon with hay fever.

Hmmm, Harry'd have to have a think on that. That was a plot point he should consider when he was flagellating himself. Maybe he could use it, all his self frustration. He shook himself and jumped up and down like he was going on stage, when he turned around to tell Masa he was going, he was laughing at him, again.

"What now?"

"Are you going to punch her?" He gulped the air. "You do that before you box."

"I just need to hype myself up." Harry shook his head out.

"She must be really pretty."

"Shut up." She was really pretty, but it had been an asset today, made the scene work and Harry had decided he needed exposure therapy. So he needed to be around her, more. He was gonna go talk to her, get used to her face.

He strode to her trailer and stopped cold outside before he could knock. For once, it was not over nerves, but his jaw which had dropped to the floor. That sound as coming from her trailer.

She was singing. Well!  To Mary J. Blige's Real Love. And he wanted to sit on the little steps up to her door and listen.

So she could have gone into the music business, had everything going for her there. Connected daddy, pretty face, hot body, and pipes. Wow, she could belt! He had goosebumps. Her voice was rich and evocative. Deeper that he expected.

And he could not talk to her.  Not now. Now she was even more impressive.

So he did what any brave young lad would do.

He asked his manager to do it.

Jeff smirked, but sent the text.  And like the magic 8 ball he could be, he made the face he did when the outlook wasn't good.

So Harry had resigned himself to Ada not coming to the bar.  He was disappointed, but also relieved. Those two feelings must be dating as often as he felt them together when it came to Ada. If she didn't come, he could relax and have fun, let loose, but not bond with her, or have another chance to impress her. Or throw up on her. There would be alcohol involved again. He needed to gain back the ground he'd lost when he spewed at her feet.

A second chance at a first impression.

But Jeff seemed to be right, as he often was. Ada was softer with him after the last cut because he had done a good job. He'd work that angle to bond.

He resigned himself to having another kick ass day on Monday for him and Ada, and having a great time tonight for himself, free of expectations. He was feeling buoyant, Kunichi had noticed right away, pounced and got him on stage. First on the drums, which he played like a 7th grader after a few lessons, and then on the microphone.

God, it was fun. So fun. And he felt the perfect amount of tipsy, like tomorrow he'd need two paracetemol and extra water, a good sweat and nothing else.

He felt extra intoxicated when he spotted Ada. In tight jeans and a slimmer t-shirt than normal, and high heels. He tried not to stare at her ass on a sneaker day, he was doomed with the thrust the 3 inches gave her curves. She looked amazing, but she looked like she was leaving. And he'd just realized she was there!

The social lubricant in his blood didn't give him a chance to think better of it. He was walking to Ada. He got there just in time. Her heel stuck in a crease in the floor, and he caught her. It was every rom com moment he'd ever sat on his mum's couch moon eyed over in one.

He got to help her. And he was able to talk to her like a normal human, and get her a drink. All in the span of 20 minutes!

She seemed relaxed, her shoulders pressed against her tee nicely, but were down, easy. And she smiled at him, a lot.

He was trying his best not to think, he'd spin out. When he went to get her ice towel and then the martini, god, she kind of flirted, right? People flirted with him all the time, or went mute. She didn't do either until tonight. And he was buzzing, more off the flirting at this point than the alcohol.

The little insecure boy inside, the one who was really loud in new situations or around new people, especially people he admired, was chiming in about the stage. The stage cast a spell on people, and he worried about people who knew him from it or expressed attraction to that aspect of him.

It's why he'd always held back with Helene, regrettably.

He didn't want to make that mistake again, he'd made wrong assumptions that cost him Helene's affections. He didn't want to do that here, wanted to do the opposite. Part of him wanted to dive in, head first, but he wasn't sure. Rejection hurt no matter who you were, and though he'd had his share, Harry's skin was still cling wrap thin. He wanted her to like him too.  He wanted this to be real. Which meant he had to be honest, and open. But he was rushing it, like he did when he was crushing.

He was going to let this night be what he hoped it would be, a beginning. And he was that guy, the one on stage, with the smirk, and the wit. He was also less commanding, and lost his cool at times, but she'd seen that guy. He just needed to show her more of his best side, tonight, and on set.

He caught Kunichi motioning to him. Ah, he'd almost forgotten his promise.

He leaned back, let his arm brush her shoulder while he relaxed. He'd turn on the charm for just a minute, he could manage that, he wanted something he'd been a little consumed with for the better half of this night. And he wanted it from Ada.

He flexed the dimple and titled his head to the side. "This smile?" He pointed his finger at his lips.

"That's a good one, but no. The cockier one!" Oooh, he really did love that eyebrow. Gave him tingles.

"I will do my absolute best," he smirked and her lashes fluttered. "If you'll come up and sing with me."

[steebrogurz]

The Snow in Winter Chapter 8

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader, Matt Murdock x Reader (a small part)

Summary: When you wake up in a dark room with no memory of who you are the Avengers come to your aid as you try to adjust to your new life with them.

word count: 1,310

warnings: Angst, Jealous Bucky

Masterlist | series masterlist

Despite the nightmares being with Matt changed things. I gained more confidence and was finally able to feel like an Avenger. I went on more missions, ate meals with everyone, and even fought crime with Daredevil. But I never stayed the night with him, he understood but I could tell he was disappointed.

Bucky kept his distance when he could. He rarely spoke and wouldn't stay in the same room alone with me anymore, I couldn’t figure out why. Everyone I asked would assure me that this was normal behaviour for him and that I shouldn’t worry, so I tried to put it out of my mind. But I had considered us friends and every time I saw him a pang of sadness shot through me.

A few weeks later I was in the gym sparring with Nat when I decided to try a new sequence of moves. She had me in a headlock when I suddenly pitched forward and rolled to the side knocking her off balance, I jumped on top of her pin her down with my body. I had one hand holding her wrist above her head and my foot pinning her other hand to the mat with my other hand on her throat. My hands shimmered with power every time I sparred but I never used it.

Nat tapped out and I released my hold and rolled off of her. She sat up and we both took a minute to catch our breath. She turned to me with a smile on her face.

“Where did you learn that?” She asked massaging her throat.

“Matt.” I simply said smiling at her. He had shown me some moves during our time together.

“Of course.” She said shaking her head. “Speaking of Matt, how are things with you two?” We both stood and faced each other again waiting for the other to make the first move.

“We’re good, really good.” I smiled and feigned right and moved to the left trying to get behind her but she saw my plan and moved against me.

“Predictable. If they see you coming, they can stop you.”

I nodded and we squared up again and she made the first move this time. I deflected her advances and made a few of my own.

“Have you two had sex yet?”

“What?” My mind went blank, I faltered and she attacked, easily taking me down and pinning me to the floor.

“You need to be prepared for anything. In battle, they will come at you from all sides many will try to distract you to gain the upper hand. But more importantly; what’s Matt like in bed?” Nat winked before sitting back.

“I- we, uh.” I stumbled over my words trying to create a coherent thought.

“You haven’t yet, have you?”

I fixed her with a hard look and got to my feet. “No. We haven’t. Now come on! Are we doing this?” I raised my hands in front of my face bouncing from foot to foot ready to move at a moment’s notice.

Nat laughed but instead of standing to face me she went for my legs. Sweeping her legs under me I jumped out of the way and she sprang to her feet. I blocked her punch and saw an opening: I shot my hand out and caught her in the side just under her arm. We exchanged blows and every once in a while one of us would get past the other’s defences; she caught me in the chest and I landed a hit to her thigh. I quickly hooked my foot around her knee kicked it out from under her, twisted her arm behind her back and looped my arm around her neck squeezing just the smallest amount, enough for her to feel it.

“Good,” she smiled as I released my hold on her. “Are you bringing Matt to Tony’s party this weekend?” She stood and dusted herself off.

“I didn’t even know there was a party this weekend but I’m sure he’d like to come. He’s been asking about you guys.” I smiled at the idea of Matt meeting everyone in the compound, I worried about them not getting along too. I had grown close to many of them and now considered them my friends.

Nat and I walked towards the change rooms chatting about who would most likely be at the party. I lost track of the conversation when we passed the weight machines and I caught a glimpse of Bucky lifting what was probably five times my weight with Steve spotting him. Heat rose in my cheeks as I watched them. Steve looked up to see me staring and I looked away quickly trying to focus back on Nat.

“Are you ok?” She asked sensing my distraction.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just trying to think of what I should wear to the party.” I lied giving a weak smile and continued to the change rooms.

--------------------

“Have you spoken to Y/N recently?”

The question caught Bucky off guard, he paused before lifting the bar one more time to place it on it’s rack and sat up.

“No. Why?” He asked in return wiping sweat from his face. In reality he hadn’t really spoken to her since she went on that date. It didn’t feel right for the two of them to share such intimate details about their lives anymore, he felt that privilege should be reserved for the man in her life. He didn't want to say the wrong thing to her; and if he was being completely honest with himself it seemed like she no longer needed his help. He saw how happy she was now, laughing with the team, gaining confidence in everything she did. He was happy for her, truly, it made his heart swell at the sight of her almost dancing down the corridors when she thought no one was around. But it also broke his heart when he remembered that he couldn’t be the one to give her that happiness. Sure, he helped her on that journey of recovery but she had found her happiness with other people.

Bucky didn’t look at Steve when he came to sit down on the bench beside him. “Come on, man. You need to tell her how you feel. I see the way you look at her, this is eating at you, Buck.” Steve placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t need to tell her anything.” Bucky finally looked at his best friend and he knew that Steve could see every emotion that was tearing at his insides. “She’s finally happy and I can’t risk doing anything to take that away from her. Besides telling her wouldn’t change anything.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, I see the way she looks at you too. I haven’t said anything because this is something she needs to hear from you.”

Bucky sighed in resignation, “Yeah, you’re right. Punk.” He ran a hand through his hair and stood up to make his way to the change rooms trying to think of what he would say to her. And he’d have to say it soon before something else changed his mind.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes Bucky made his way to Y/N’s room. He could hear her talking to someone through the door and by the sound of it she was on the phone with Matt. He could tell by the easy tone she had when she talked about him. Her laugh alone was almost enough to make him walk away but Steve was right, he needed to say something or it would keep eating at him until he resented her and lost her forever.

With an almost pained groan he knocked on the door. There’s no going back now.

Chapter 9

[kinkyacademia]

I know yall arent accepting requests anymore but can i ask for some emergency comfort if thats okay? If not feel free to not answer this lmao How would poly kiri and baku deal with an s/o who is scared to go to school cause shes being bullied and people wont leave her alone even online and try to make fun of her wherever she goes and that stuff Sorry if this is just annoying but i love and appreciate you all💖💜💓

Ohhh sweet gentle hatchie we are here to help! I really hope that this scenario can give you some comfort and we all give you much love!💕

🌱🌸~Miss-Magpie~🌸🌱

Trigger Warning: Depictions of Bullying and minor Anxiety

You hadn’t really wanted to talk to your parents or friends about it, you really didn’t want to stress them out or have them worry about you. Besides it wasn’t a big deal right? You could handle it…it was just a few mean girls from school…well, you thought you could handle it. For awhile it had just been teases and titters behind your back, just loud enough for you to hear. Then a nasty note taped to your umbrella and another in your gym clothes and then finally you received one over your social media account…it was just a PM …it wasn’t posted to your main page or anything, but at this point…you felt like you couldn’t get away.

That had been two days ago and you hadn’t been on your social account since, the sight of the message and its words rattling in your brain, mocking you. Not wanting to let your tormentors feel like they had the upper-hand you went to school the day after it had happened, though during lunch while you had waited for Katsuki and Eijirou to get out of class and join you. The three girls from your General Studies class began to walk towards you, already giggling and looking at you cruelly.

You wound up leaving before your boyfriends even arrived, you felt sick to your stomach and honestly you just wanted to cry. You quickly let your teachers know that you wouldn’t be attending for the rest of the day and retreated back to your dorm room. 

You didn’t attend class the next day either, what did it matter it was Friday anyway… so here you sat…

You’ve honestly just been laying in bed most of the day, feeling guilty for not going to classes and just miserable about the whole situation…you didn’t ask for any of this…

You are startled out of your thoughts by a knocking on your door…you almost just want to pretend you’re asleep or not there. But the knocking persists and then a familiar voice calls out your name and then another and you know that you can’t ignore them. Sighing you lift yourself from your bed and shuffle over to the door, your feet feel like lead.

“Y/n!” Eijirou says brightly as soon as you open the door, you find that you can’t even smile, even at your boyfriend’s sunny attitude. “We brought you your homework since -hey, are you alright?” He sobers as he looks you over.

“Fine.” You try to force a smile but its tight and unnatural. “Just sick.” That was a lie.

Katsuki’s eyes narrow as he observes you.

“You’re lying, I think your just skipping class; being lazy y/n?” He replies, though you know he’s teasing and Eijirou balks at him. Though his rough idea of teasing doesn’t get a rise out of you like it normally does.

“Can I just have my homework.” You say flatly, not really looking him in the eye.

At this the two of them fall silent, looking at each other in confusion and concern.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” The red-head gently asks, taking a step closer.

“Nothing, nothings wrong, no one did this.” You reply quickly, only afterwards realizing you said too much.

You hear Katsuki growl and crack his knuckles.

“Who did this, who do I have to kill.” His tone makes you think he really would kill someone.

“No one, just forget I said anything…” You don’t want them to worry or for them to get dragged into all of this.

“Y/n please talk to us, please.” Eijirou says, his eyes pleading.

You gaze over to Katsuki, he looks angry, but also…there’s a glimmer of fear in his eyes, he’s actually scared.

You work your jaw, thinking for a few moments before letting them come in, closing your door behind them.

You cautiously tell them what has been going on, your voice trembling as you tell them more and more and finally you break down into tears and practically throw your phone at them; the PM open for them to read.

By the time they are done reading it, Eijirou has gathered you into his arms and is cooing gently and petting your hair. You sob harder into his arms. Katsuki is silent for a while, and then suddenly you hear an explosion and it makes you jump.

Your blonde boyfriend is up, pacing the length of your room, explosions setting off in his palms and he growls and grits his teeth trying to control his anger.

“Yo Bakugou come on man, that’s not helping!” Eijirou calls over to him as he pulls you further into his lap.

“How could they say shit like that!? I’ll fuckin’ destroy them-” He begins, his voice growing louder and louder as he continues on his rant.

“KATSUKI!” The red-head hisses at him and gives him a pointed stare.

The blonde looks to you and when he sees your teary eyes and hunched up form in your shared boyfriend’s arms he slowly deflates.

You practically gasp when he takes three wide steps over to you and curls his body around yours, his chest now pressing against your back; Eijirou at your front. Their joint warmth enveloping you; you sniffle and your tears start to fall again.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen…” You say into the red-heads shoulder; you’re getting his shirt wet.

“Shhhhh.” He replies and pets your hair.

“None of this is your fault.” Katsuki says and buries his head into the nape of your neck. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Y/n you’re so good and kind, some people are just awful and miserable and they want to make other’s feel the same way.” Eijirou says and gently brushes aways some of your tears with the pad of his thumb.

“They’re just assholes, nothing they say should even matter it’s all lies…” The blonde mutters into your neck and squeezes you a little tighter to him.

They let you cry for a little while longer, just letting you get out all of your emotions and pain, all the while offering you sweet gentle words and soft touches and kisses. After awhile you exhaust yourself and sag against Eijirou.

“I’ll be right back.” Katsuki murmurs in your ear, your barely awake at this point but you can make out the red-head telling him not to do anything stupid.

You must have fallen asleep because you startle awake when you hear the door to your room opening; Eijirou had been playing with your hair.

“Oi, I went to that cafe you like.” The blonde says and sits down on your bed beside you and Eijirou with a rather sizable box; you blink in confusion and sleepiness when he hands you a fork. “They had your favorite.”

Your eyes widen when he removes the box top to reveal an entire strawberry soufflé cake with cream.

“Katsuki…” You blink and look up at him, he’s blushing.

“Cake always makes things better, right?” He mutters, looking something you can only describe as aggressively shy.

You feel yourself smile for the first time tonight; a real smile.

For the rest of the night they sit and eat cake with you, watching your favorite movies and shows; when you fall asleep they stay.

They spend the rest of the weekend with you making you feel loved and cared for, they even manage to get you to come spend time with the rest of Class 1A and to be honest it was a breath of fresh air to be surrounded by so many kind and loving people. You really wish it didn’t have to end… but on Sunday night Eijirou and Katsuki gently get you to promise them to come to classes tomorrow and to not worry.

You steel yourself as you gaze at the lunchroom, you really didn’t want to go in alone.

“Hey y/n!” You turn and see not only Katsuki and Eijirou but the entirety of class 1A in tow.

“W-what?” You say in shock as everyone comes to greet you.

“Don’t worry y/n we got your back!” Mina says and gives you a thumbs up.

“You don’t have to worry about anything anymore.” Sero replies.

“These guys are like our family.” Eijirou says and turns to smile at his classmates.

“And you’re like really important to us.” says Katsuki blushing. “So they’re your family too.”

“And family sticks together.” Eijirou grins.

Honestly you don’t think your heart has ever felt this full before.

[fanfictionized]

Help Me Help You - My Own (16/?)

Character: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader / OFC

Chapter summary: Beginning to settle in, Annabelle is living her busily scheduled life. A make-over is just the right thing to keep her on the right track.

Warnings: Little bit of flashback

Words: 2.2k

Previous Chapter // Help Me Help You - Masterlist

Sweat was running down her neck and face, collecting to drip down her chin.

Her heart was about to explode out of her chest. Everything hurt.

“Say it.” Sam yelled. “I’m an unathletic piece of shit.” “No! What the hell, Belle. The other thing!” Wanda almost doubled over with laughter at her comment and it didn’t help in holding her body up above the mattress as she started to giggle as well. “I can do this?” “Yes, you can! Exactly, now come on! Where’s that super soldier strength at?” Her arms started to give out. She let herself drop to the ground like a potato sack, her arms made out of pure jello. She wheezed with exhaustion.

“I haven’t been to the gym in a year.” She gasped out in between intakes of breath. “And despite that I did fifty push-ups what else do you want from me?”

“That’s pretty good, though… Sam?” Wanda asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “She just got back. Take it easy on her.”

It had been more than a week since the meeting in the conference room. The next day Tony had come up with her new schedule and she had been more than happy with that. She finally had something to do. Until she had realized that the one thing she had been looking forward to the most, fight training, could only be done until she had at least some sort of stamina and muscle mass, along with a few pounds more on her body. The second one had not been as hard, six pounds in one week, but the first had been sheer agony so far. At least one person seemed to be enjoying it.

“Oh, come on.” He mocked her as he crouched down next to her. “I know that serum is in you somewhere and I’ll get it out of you. I know that, because Steve and Buck always beat me at everything” He stood back up, squinting his eyes mischievously. “And I want to see someone else beat their asses if it can’t be me.”

“It’s not my fault you’re slow.” She panted as she rolled over, staring at him. He didn’t look amused. “You’re my one chance at getting back at them.”

She laughed and Wanda did, too.

“Alright, kiddo. I’ll let you off the hook for today.” He rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand, helping her stand back up.

“But don’t loose hope:”

“Oh, trust me. I won’t. Don’t put too much pressure on me and maybe your dream will come true, wingman.” She suppressed a grin.

“Alright, alright.” He muttered as he grabbed his towel and left the gym.

She ran a hand over her burning muscles. After just a few days of working out she could already feel the tissue growing and forming. Not only there, but everywhere else, even in places she hadn’t worked on before.

The serum was changing her body and she had realized it quickly. It was hardly unnoticeable.

The weight she had gained could’ve just as well been her newly added muscles.

“You okay?” Wanda asked her. She nodded.

“Just weird how I can already feel the change in my body.”

“Yeah, I know. It can be strange.” She sighed and lightly punched her side. “But hey. I still have to watch what I’m eating, while you’re turning back to normal in seconds. You don’t even have to work out all that much, see, your metabolism still makes you even stronger.” She laughed. “I mean, that was your fourth time working out here and I saw you pick up that fifty Kilo ball over there yesterday. With one hand.”

Annabelle let out a nervous chuckle. “I don’t know. It was pretty heavy…”

“Yes, but you still didn’t struggle with it. Not like I would without my powers.”

“Those are my powers. I think. I’m still not sure what else is different. Maybe that’s it…?”

“No, no. Can’t be.” She shook her head, head tilting to the side.

“Maybe you should run with Steve. Just to see. Maybe you can look if you run faster, too. Or maybe jump higher. Maybe your joints and bones are more robust like theirs- “

“Thanks” She interrupted her train of thought “But I think I’ll stick with you for now.”

Wanda grinned back at her. “As long as you won’t get stronger than me.”

“You know I can’t promise you that.”

“Oh, we’ll see.” She winked.

***

It was when she was on her way back to her room to take a shower when she literally ran into Bucky.

“Shit, sorry.” He steadied her with a grip of his left hand around her arm as she bumped into him while turning around a corner. She gasped as she felt the coldness of the metal on her hot skin and once again she didn’t think of it being that way, that… metal-y, looking down at her right upper arm. His gaze followed hers and he immediately let go of her as if she was scorching.

“Sorry.” He whispered, scarcely audible. He was looking down at the ground.

She shook her head, only then realizing how he could’ve interpreted her reaction and reached out for him.

“No, it’s my fault. I wasn’t looking.” She took a hold of his metal arm and he only noticed her touch as she pulled it closer, her hand around his forearm. She didn’t want him to think she was afraid of him.

They had hung out over the past couple of nights, the watching-TV-thing becoming some sort of ritual for the two of them. And even though she probably wouldn’t admit it, it had meant the world to her. She wouldn’t want him to think otherwise.

He pulled his hand back slowly, looking back up at her and giving her a weak smile. “You working out?” She nodded. “Sort of. It’s more like Sam torturing me, but whatever.” She shrugged and gave him a sideway-smirk. His own smile softened. “And how’s it going?” She took in a deep breath. “It’s good. It’s… okay. I already feel stronger.” She let out a laugh at the thought. “Sam said he’s training me so that he can have someone beating your asses.”

“Whose asses is he talking about?” “You and Steve.” She giggled, her eyes sparkling “Because you always run faster than him. And because you’re stronger than him… I don’t think he enjoys your mocking very much:” “Well.” He smirked “He should try harder then, don’t you think?” “Don’t say that! He’s letting it out on me!”

He looked her over. Her short hair in the front of her head pulled back into a bun at the back, the rest of it hanging down loosely to reach the top of her shoulders. Her face and décolleté were shining with sweat that had dried half-way on her skin. With the sports clothes she was wearing he could see how much her body had changed since when he had been carrying it out of that creepy, old warehouse. She seemed more comfortable in her skin. Fitter, altogether. Her skin had more color too, which was shown by her glowing cheeks.

“I can see that.” He tried suppressing a wider grin. She cocked her head to the side in confusion. He cleared his throat and pointed at her with his left fore finger. “Your cheeks…”

“Oh. Hah! Yeah, I forgot about that.” She chuckled and laid her own hand onto them, feeling the heat radiating off them.

To his own surprise, she grabbed the hand pointing at her and placed it against the right side of her face. Her eyes closed as she puffed a breath through her equally red lips, just as perfused with blood as her blushing cheeks.

“Jesus Christ, I’m literally burning up.” She sighed while Bucky stood there in shock, not wanting to move his fingers in case the metal plating would graze or scratch that delicate face of hers. He couldn’t feel it per se, but somehow the sudden surprise caused the heat on her face to transfer through his cold, unfeeling hand and onto his own, making his cheeks burn.

“Oh. Sorry.” She held his hand with such care before she lowered his arm and let go. “I didn’t mean to be creepy. Your hand is just so cool. Cold, I mean.” She chuckled nervously, brushing an untamed strand of hair behind her ear. She just saw his horrified gaze. Eyes not blinking and everything else also not moving. “Uhm… Bucky? Are you okay?” She asked cautiously, her brows furrowed as she tried to reach out for him once more, but his reflexes told him otherwise. “Fine.” He blurted out as he tried his best to hide his pink cheeks behind the hair falling in front of his face and avoided her touch as he rushed past her, leaving her standing all alone.

She still looked after him as he disappeared as fast as he had shown up.

She realized that perhaps touching him had been a touch too much for him.

Sighing, she turned around to march into her room, leaning her back against the door after she had closed it. Her hand went into her hair, but the bun she had made stopped her from getting her fingers through it. She ripped it out and hissed as she did not expect such force coming with it. She had to get accustomed to her newly found strength somehow.

She was frustrated. And it had everything to do with a certain Bucky Barnes.

Sure, he was a delicate personality to deal with, but so was she. She hadn’t wanted to trigger him in any way and she thought the bonding over watching TV and shared insomnia had somehow made him trust her more, but it had hurt, plain and simple, when he had looked at her like she was fucking crazy the second she touched him. Somehow there had been a certain disgusted look on his face. And she felt angry with him and herself.

Her hands felt the rough ends of her roughly cut hair. She hated the feeling. She bit her bottom lip nervously. Then she pulled off her top and tossed it aside. She grabbed a scissor from her desk and walked into the bathroom.

She stood in front of the mirror, looking at herself. From her still skinnier-than-usual form and the sweat-soaked clothes clinging to her body to her blushed cheeks and her piercing gaze. Until further up she spotted the haircut they had given her. Before it had been long and beautiful, but now? Even that they had taken from her and it made her fucking furious.

Now it was just hanging limply on top of her shoulders. No life whatsoever.

Her breathing was erratic and her lip started trembling. She didn’t want another episode of this whatever it was, black-smoke-pouring-out-of-me-until-I-can’t-fucking-see-shit-no-more? No fuckin’ thanks.

She had to calm down in another way.

She hadn’t realized she had raised the scissors and started to cut strands of her hair off until she actually saw them collecting in the sink before her.

She cut off more and more, her heart still racing, yet no longer due to frustration, but because this was the first thing she had been able to decide for herself in seven weeks. And it felt freaking amazing. Having her life in her own hands again. More or less. Until she had learned to control the last thing they had given her, but until then this was better than feeling bitter all the time because of it. This was better than a once-in-a-blue-moon good sleep. better than lemonade on a hot day. Better than his hand on your hot face…

She had watched her mother cut her own bangs for years. She hadn’t had bangs since she was a little girl, but she needed something different. She was no little girl anymore, but she could certainly steal her younger self’s looks. Had looked good back then, why shouldn’t it now?

Didn’t look so goddamn boring at least.

She divided her hair in a sort of semi-circle going from the front top of her head around to the outside of her eyebrows. She held the hair in her hand and with a deep breath and a few snips she had it off, her hair still hanging in front of her eyes. She cut just a little above her eyebrows. Not too high, but not blocking her sight as well.

She sighed, tension leaving her body altogether. She shook her fingers through it, the tiny, loose pieces of hair raining down on her nose like snowflakes.

She looked at herself in the mirror once more. Before and after. And she smiled from ear to ear as she liked what she saw.

It didn’t look boring. Her hair was still wild and not cut so straight, her waves seemed even stronger, more defined, as they were not pulled down by all that weight of long hair anymore. She shook her head from side to side just to see them swing with their new freedom, around the sides of her throat.

She nodded, content with herself again. The first time after a damn long time.

Taglist:

@humanexile

[new-blog-new-things-blog]

Are you kidding me?! Part 7.

Bucky x Reader

Word count: 2064 Warnings: Swearing? Slow burn af

I stayed with Clint for the rest of the weapons training getting pointers on how to stand properly, what to aim for when targets are moving and so on. I hadn’t realised how much time had passed until Tony told everyone to pack up and head to the gym for hand to hand combat portion of today. Okay I’m not going to lie, I’m very excited to watch this.

When we arrived Bucky was already there beating the shit out of a punching bag, he either has breath-taking rage issues or something had pissed him off. I couldn’t help thinking that I had done something or that he genuinely didn’t like me, which confused me to no end. I haven’t even done anything yet!

“Barnes front and centre, we are splitting up into two teams for the first bit to show Y/N what it would be like on the field, kind of like a battle royal.”

Tony said the last part to me so I nodded to show I was listening, Bucky had made his way over to the group, leaning against the wall with one foot upon it and arms folded showing of a ridiculous amount of muscles. Honestly his looks are a fucking gift to women- scrap that a gift to everyone. Tony’s voice brought me back to the room.

“Me and Cap are gunna choose teams, I’ll pick first cap?”

He gestured to Steve, who just nodded.

“Come on Nat, get your butt over here.”

I cringed at Tony’s words, does he have a death wish? Nast seems like the person who would kill for less but to my surprise she just gave him a shit eating grin and stood beside him then turning that grin to Bucky, who returns it. Wait is that a thing? Nat and Bucky? That would explain a lot.

Steve nodded over to Bucky.

Surprise Surprise. Bucky sauntered over to stand next to his best friend and I can’t help but watch him walk over to him, he is going to be the death of me I swear.

“Wilson.”

“Clint.”

“Seriously the God gets picked last?”

Thor grumbles but walks over to team Iron Man, I realise then the numbers are odd. Well I suppose on a battlefield it wouldn’t be even numbers either. Wait do battlefields even exist anymore? Lord I need to stop watching TV.

“Rules: No weapons just hand to hand, Thor no lightning inside please”

Cap pointed a finger at Thor who just rolled his eyes.

“Three second pin or a tap and you’re out, got it?”

Everyone nodded at Cap making their way to separate ends of the room, lining up against the wall.

“Wanna do the honours Y/N?”

Tony called over to me.

“Right um yeah okay. 3. 2. 1. Go?”

I half shouted, before I even finished saying go they were sprinting at each other. Clint and Nat engaged and it was like they knew exactly what the other was planning, it looked more like a dance than a fight. Neither had got a hit on the other when my eyes got pulled to Cap who was in between Thor and Tony taking them on his own, how on earth is he doing this? A crash nearest to me caught my attention, Bucky had Sam run into one another. Bucky’s metal hand came straight round Sam’s throat and slammed him to the floor with such force that Thor turned around to see what had happened letting cap get a really good hit on him. Sam looked out for the count, Bucky looked at me smirk still on his face.

“Wanna count him out for me кукла?”

“I’m pretty sure he is well and truly out Bucky.”

“Got to go, I have a fight to win.”

He ran back into the fray to help Steve who is still going strong against Thor and Tony. A kick to Tony’s chest by Steve sent him flying into Clint and Nat. In the second that that had happened Bucky had basically sent a drop kick to the back of Thor’s knees, sending him straight into a sucker punch from Steve. Both super soldiers jumped on his back counting to three.

So it takes two super soldiers to take out one god. Good to know. Thor walked away from the fight grabbing Sam on the way over to me.

“I’m going to take young Wilson to the med bay Y/N, see you later.”

Another three count sounded the hall, I turned to see Nat on top of a face down, struggling Clint. Not missing a beat she turns and jumps on Steve’s back, leaving Tony to Bucky. At this point the fights are so intense I don’t even know where to look.

Eyes darting between the two I see bits and bobs from each fight.

Tony side stepping Bucky’s punch.

Nat sliding between Cap’s legs.

Tony getting Bucky into a choke hold.

Nat’s legs wrapping around Steve’s neck.

Bucky grabbing Tony by the back of his neck.

Then almost like they had planned it, at the same time Steve and Tony hit the floor with an almighty thud.

3. 2. 1.

With Both men now out, Bucky and Nat turned to face each other, tensions rising. Nat gets herself into a fighting stance waiting for Bucky to do the same, but he just stands there, arms crossed waiting. My god if looks could kill. She ran for him and he side stepped her with ease, bouncing on his heels. She goes for him again and repeats the process. God is he playing with her? What is he thinking?

I can tell she is getting angry now, fist clenching and unclenching, mouth set is a grim smile.

“Come along now Natalia.”

Bucky taunts, slowly stalking towards Nat. Without warning they meet in the middle, a whirlwind of fists and kicks. The pace is set so fast sometimes I don’t know if the hits have landed or if they missed.

Somehow Bucky manages to get his arms around Nat’s torso so she can’t move, his body flushed against hers. Our eyes locked as he leant down to whisper something in Nat’s ear to quite for anyone to hear. I can’t help but wonder what he said, was it a lovers remark? Why is he looking at me? It was quite clear there is something there between them.

A smile came to her face as she hooked one of her legs around his foot and pushed him back to the ground, freeing me from his stare. Quickly straddling his waist she raises her fist in the air to bring down towards his face, but he caught it with his metal hand. Grabbing her other hand, bringing it up to be held in his metal hand too, Bucky spun them over, legs holding Nat to the floor so her bottom half couldn’t move. Metal hand pinning both of hers above her head, flesh hand wrapped firmly around her neck Bucky slowly counted to three.

My god I know it’s wrong but I can’t help being jealous of Nat right now. Remembering the feel of his metal hand around my neck makes me shiver, I need a cold shower and to get some self-control back. I mean I guess I’m not doing anything wrong right? There isn’t a rule that I can’t look. Nat would most probably kill me if she found out though.

Bucky helped Nat off the floor as Cap told us to break for an hour and meet back here for the next part of training. I quickly left before I could get myself in trouble. Right I need to set rules for myself:

1.      Stop drooling over the men here, especially taken one.

2.      Do more training than necessary because otherwise I am going to die.

3.      Train with everyone so I get different styles.

I liked my list. It is a good list.

Aimlessly walking round the tower I decide to go back to have a look at what equipment there is in the gym, I go to the gym regularly plus I take pole fitness classes so at least I’m kind of in shape. I bet they won’t have a pole, maybe I could see if they could get one?

By the time I get back to the gym everyone has dispersed to where ever so I talk a slow walk around. All the stuff is pretty self-explanatory and as I suspected there is no pole. Looking at my watch in see I still have half an hour until everyone comes back so I decide to go on the treadmill for a bit as I wore gym clothes today.

“J.A.R.V.I.S can you play the some music please? Top 40 or something?”

“Of course miss L/N”

Some form of music I haven’t heard yet comes through the speakers.

“Thank you.”

Emptying my mind, I start running. I really must have really zoned out because everyone was walking back into the gym. Slowing the machine to a stop I ask J.A.R.V.I.S to stop the music.

“Look at you starting to train already.”

Tony quipped handing me a bottle of water, I took a swig dipping my head in thanks.

“Okay so Sam has to stay for observations as he has a possible concussion.”

Steve gave a pointed look at Bucky who wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“So Y/N you are going to put us in pairs, watch us spar and then tell me one thing you noted about each of our styles okay?”

Brilliant a test, I suck at tests.

“Okay, so um first I want to see Natasha and Thor spar? If that’s okay?”

Thor actually grimaced but walk to the centre of the room, Nat fast on his heels. Steve mentioned for them to go, Thor lunged but Nat quickly grabbed his arm, twisting it behind his back, kicking the back of his knees and pushing him forward to the floor.

“Okay Y/N observations?”

Steve said effectively ending the match.

“Right well that’s the second time Thor has been taken down by kicking his knees out, I presume not a lot of people get close enough to do that normally ya know with the lightening and hammer? So he seems pretty good either way. Natasha is very fast on her feet and knows how to use someone’s weight against them?”

Nat looks kind of proud at my summery.

“Well observed фазовращатель.”

Both she and Thor make their way back to the wall.

“Um okay Tony and Clint?”

That fight went on longer than I expected, but Clint in the end got a win over Tony.

“Okay well Tony has his suit normally, I kept seeing him raise his hand as if he wanted to blast Clint. Clint fights dirty.”

I shrugged, that was all the explanation I was giving. Both Clint and Nat laughed at that.

“I guess its Steve and Bucky now then?”

The super soldiers walked to the middle of the room. Remember rule number 1 Y/N. The fight started and they are pretty evenly matched, Steve does some weird-twisty-air-flip thing that astounds me. He is so big and beefy, how can he be so nimble?! Bucky gets the upper hand when he sweeps Steve’s feet out, putting a foot on his chest. Steve holds a hand out, pulled up seconds later by Bucky they embrace in what I like to call a bro hug.

“Well?”

Steve puffs clearly out of breath, waiting for my assessment.

“Okay well Steve you are surprisingly fast for a man of your height and stature, if they didn’t know you that would surprise them. Bucky is pretty observant and officiant, like he will find out how you are fighting and find the best way to combat that?”

Steve nodded at me, again Bucky wouldn’t look at me, I mean straight up ignoring me. Like seriously I know I haven’t done anything this time! Why is he being a dick? I am a fucking delight! He may be gorgeous but if he keeps acting smug and shitty we are going to have a problem.

Bucky is the first one out of the room when Tony calls time on the day, so I walk with Steve instead. I will not let anyone take away my excitement for this. Not even Mr I-Have-A-Metal-Arm. I can do this.

I think.

Part 6                                                                         Part 8

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