#I went off topic so much in this help
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ask game! 1, 12, 17, 18, 23!
1. when did you first watch/discover good omens, and how did you find out about it?
I first (!!! I watched it so many times) watched Good Omens some time last year, in September I think, when I met with a friend that had just recently moved quite far away to study creative writing (so proud of them btw). And well, all we really planned was to meet, not what to do. So we were kinda just sitting there, wondering what we should do (I think?) until they said "Ayy can I show u a thing I really like bc I think you'll like it too?" And I said "Lezzgo!" And then we started watching and when the Intro started I went "OMG IT'S NEIL GAIMAN??? WHY ARE U ONLY SHOWING ME THIS NOW??" And then we binged the first season and started the second one and I LOVED IT so I forced them to do an Amazon watch party with me during the week (bc they had left again by then) bc I COULDN'T WAIT but I also didn't wanna watch it alone. Aaaand yeah,,, I think they found my reaction to the final 15 (or all of the show, probably) quite entertaining xD
12. has your interaction with the good omens fandom been overall good or bad?
It's been mostly good, actually! I've been in quite bad ones before. But this fandom actually got me back on tumblr and rediscovering this hellsite with all its silly little tumblr weirdos made me feel so at home again in a way? If that makes sense? I mean idk what happens on other ppl's timelines but mine is just all fun artsy stuff, queer ppl and well,,, general tumblr tomfoolery. And A LOT of love and support. So I feel quite nice here :D It's been my main source of comfort ever since I watched Good Omens.
17. what is your favorite husband-y moment between aziracrow?
Ooooof that's a tricky one. I'm not good at picking favorites. But uh,,, probably the Crowley-off-his-head-on-laudanum (1827) where he's just running around like some uncoordinated cat and Aziraphale catches him and grabs his waist to steady him and tells him how kind it was of him to save Elspeth. I like that one c:
18. what is your favorite moment through history, and why?
ALSO 1827 because first of all, I think it was a very important plot point, especially for Aziraphale to understand that the world isn't just black and white and sometimes things that seem bad at first glace have very good intentions behind them and are. just. needed. And right. And good. And then ofc also bc of what I just said to question 17. AND the fact that I LIVE for Crowley singing Flower of Scotland <33 The entire last scene just always has me giggling. It makes me so happy.
(Plus, the "Trying to kill yourself. That's, I mean, It's NOT ON!!" is a thingy me and my friends (those I forced to watch Good Omens with me :P) now do every time one of us is in a difficult phase. It's a silly way of reminding each other to just keep ourselves alive, and that's so dear to me <3
23. what's a good omens headcanon that you considered canon?
Idk if it counts bc I'M STILL NOT SURE IT'S NOT SOMEHOW CANON??? But I always thought Crowley was just the wildest Queen fan ever. Bc his Bentley always plays Queen. And that was the first thing (right at the beginning) that made me love Crowley in the show, bc I LOVE QUEEN, I LITERALLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW ANYBODY COULD EVER NOT LIKE QUEEN (I was very offended when, last year, some old guy told me he didn't like Queen bc they were too "camp" for him. (Actually, he said "tuntig" which is an offensive term in German, bc we had that conversation in German.) I never spoke to the guy again.) ANYGAY, then I read the book and found out that it's not actually Crowley who likes to listen to Queen all the time, but the Bentley. That was quite a disappointment at first. For like a minute. Then I decided the Bentley is now my favourite GO character. I draw a heart around it every time it's mentioned in the book. :D (I still headcanon Crowley loving Queen tho)
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also jamiazu prompt fr u to talk abt: who do u think kissed the other first. how do u think their first kiss played out
RUBS MY EVIL HANDS LIKE AN EVIL MOSQUITO ON A SUMMER MORNING
okay so ill get to the point my awnser is jamil im sorry . i dont know how many people here will agree with this post but i am no longer a coward on tumblr (LIAR)
i mostly feel like this because I can’t picture azul as being straight forward about that sort of thing. i can picture him as meticolously planning and practicing everything beforehand and then just failing miserably because jamil is jamil.
sometimes i think abt how azul never had a friend to socualize with in his childhood (other than the tweels which are FAR from normal friends). if he ever crushed on someone as a kid he 100% never acted out on it because of how insecure he was (and is) with all that bullying he received
also azul is at disadvantage because jamil is always so grumpy around him how is one supposed to know if its ok to kiss this guy without getting punched in the face
the whole thing about jamiazu is that jamil needs to learn how to trust azul (abd actually azul does as well but thats another can of worms that needs its seperate post) which is why i can only see it happen post-book6 jamil
once he learns to overcome his horrifying trust issues induced by his horrible job . thats when he kisses azul ^_^
i really went off topic with this post cuz it was supposed to be about a first kiss but i deserve to wtite paragraphs and be shameless i think
anyway my vision is: they’re hanging out alone in an unplanned place like maybe away from a scarabia party? maybe in the fucking hallways bathrooms away from classes? just not a planned date or anything because i have delusions (i feel like jamil would do it in an unplanned context on purpose). at first they’re just standing there alone with lots of tension, with azul trying to chat like he always does but jamil is deep in thought about how he feels about everything. jamil concludes that he is so tired of depriving himself of what he wants and of holding himself back. that he should go for that kiss because he deserves it ^_^ and azul explodes and dies……. u think about the rest…….
i hope you like my vision i should not be allowed to write crimge when sleep deprived ❤️❤️❤️
#i cut so much shit off cuz i went on such an off topic tangent#about their trust issues#but it needs a seperate post#;7#&?&&((&(&&(#IM SO GONNA REGRET THIS ONCE I WAKE UP TOMORROW BUT THATS EXACLTY WHY IM POSTING THIS NOW.#jamiazu#i am even goijg to fucking tag thjs.#i am in my villain arc(girl who is talking about her jnteresst)#also again thank you sm for the asks and the prompt it’s really helped getting my mind off things#i am going to bed in a bright mood#i hope i didnt go too off topic im a lost cause
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Scrimbly Jacqueline 16/52: what have you done this time, Jack.
ft @lmelodie's lil guy! because apparently this week's theme is OC FRIENDSHIP lol
I actually thought this was next week's doodle idea but then I checked my list on Monday and saw it was this week! SERENDIPITOUS INDEED!
lmels. Your lil guy. Your scrunkly. Was SO MUCH FUN to colour. EVEN WITH THE LIMITED PALETTE I HAVE! Trying to figure out how to make his jacket a lil grimey was fun! (I stared with PEELED EYES at SOO MANY KILLIANS while trying to do the beanie and the hair, I HOPE HE'S AT LE A S T RECOGNIZABLE!)
And yes I kNOW probably wine SHOULDN'T go into whatever warm chocolatey drink Jacqueline is having, but tbh, I was hella distracted by CR while colouring so it became wine instead of like, brandy or Bailey's or rum like I was ORIGINALLY intending. Although...I have seen rum similar to that reddish/amberish colour before so....maybe???
Anyway. Whatever's got them both feelin this kinda way is deffs directly Jack's fault. I'll leave that tidbit up to your imaginations 🤭🤭
Next week's scrimbly is a redraw! Then the week after is Into the Shadows spoilers! I've been working away at my second draft (which is notes tbh, really, really detailed notes) and I'm like 11 chapters in and so far, so good! It'll a bit of a CHALLENGE to write what with all the characters and the conflict of chaos versus order between the villains all while trying to make it a Charlie-centric story with a sorta uni au I guess, so basically the ride is going to be WILDIN >:)
#sometimes. you gotta write something SO FUCKING CRAZY#and that's the vibe its is giving me tbh lol#i used to have like a whole thing about people not respecting the legates??#and its changes that??#but i'm not so sure that's a THING anymore#i think they under estimate the legates and this deffs helps with cs denizens worrying about the next Council#so...yeah!#ANYWAY. OFF TOPIC#scrimbly jacquelines#dani speaks#dani doodles#ocs#killian/the boogeyman#cs posting#cs au#crystal springs#and uh.#shadowy musings#I SUPPOSE. since i went and did that here in the note AND tags#tsc#tsc3#omg i also. messed around with the effects for this one post-photoing of it#and had 3 versions i couldn't decide between#so that was an ADVENTURE#my work wife tried to steal the scrimbly she liked it so much lol#i was like MA'AM THAT NEEDS TO GO ON MY F R I D G E
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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There’s a bit of a difference between skeletons being in such poor condition that archeologists cannot tell the sex, and the fact that when skeletons are in good condition sex is easily observable. I fucking despair that you’re about to graduate and you cannot tell the difference between the two circumstances
Why yes, I can tell the difference. We were talking, afterall, about a hypothetical future in which taphonomic processes and just general decay of the living matter in the bone tissue is going to take place! Did you even think before sending in this ask? You're almost as dumb as the person who said coffins exist now implying they didn't in the past.
#to be completely fair to you#I've excavated in the maya area and most burials are directly on the ground which because the ground is acidic does accelerate the process#coffins and funerary urns and the like do help but decay processes aren't entirely averted#so yeah try harder#I'm only humoring you because I went to see Wakanda Forever today#and I came out of the cinema pleasantly surprised so I'm in a good mood#completely off topic but I was so relieved that movie didn't pull an ancient aliens#it would've been so easy to make the villains atlanteans or some shit#but they didn't! it was a postclassic yucatec kingdom that descended into the water rather than emerge from it!#hollywood be hollywood and marvel be marvel#but it was much better than I expected!
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Hypothetically
Chronically single, you suggest a pact with your best friend to start a family together when you turn forty.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x bau fem reader
Category: fluff/comfort
Warnings: marriage and baby talk, reader is insecure because she feels left out
A/n: This is my entry for the kid fic challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins! This was like a breath of fresh air from all the smut I’ve been writing
"Do you want to have a baby with me?"
The scalding coffee burned his tongue as your question lingered in the air. Spencer cleared his throat awkwardly and patted his chest, his eyes drifting towards you. "Uh... what?"
"Hypothetically," you replied, the tap of your pen echoing against the round table between you. "It's like a pact. If we're both still single in the future, we get married to one another and, well, start a family together."
Spencer felt the clamminess of his palms as he set his mug down, trying to steady himself. He considered you as one of the closest people in his life, if not his best friend, and he was accustomed to your random questions, but this sudden topic of conversation seemed to strike a nerve.
"Where..." he began, wiping his palm along his pants. "...where is this coming from?"
You shrugged casually, the tapping of your pen momentarily ceasing. "Just a thought. I mean, we're both at that age where these things start to cross our minds, right?"
Spencer swallowed, trying to push down the unease rising in his chest. "Yeah, I guess so," he muttered, but as he studied you, he noticed the tension in your shoulders. "Are you okay?"
Your gaze flickered away for a moment before you sighed, slumping against your chair.
"I have a wedding coming up this weekend." Spencer frowned, not understanding what you were trying to say. You continued, "And another one next week, and guess what? Two of my cousins are getting married next month."
"What does that have to do with...?" His voice trailed off as realization dawned on him. "Ah, I see."
But you weren't finished. Somehow, the thoughts that had lingered in your mind for the past few days spilled out right then and there, in the middle of broad daylight when you were supposed to be focusing on the case you were working on.
"And a close friend I went to high school with just gave birth while another friend from college announced she's two months pregnant. And look at me," you exclaimed, your arms flying around. "No wedding. No pregnancy. Spencer, I don't even have a boyfriend, heck, I forgot what it's like to go out on a date!"
He watched as your brow furrowed into a frown, and although your demeanor was all over the place, he couldn't help but notice how you still managed to look pretty.
"Spence?" You asked, nudging his leg with your foot under the table. "Are you listening to me?"
He blinked, momentarily pulled from his thoughts by your voice. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm listening."
You gave him a skeptical look, but the tension in your shoulders seemed to ease slightly as you leaned back in your chair.
"I just... I don't know, I feel like I'm left behind." You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "I mean, I'm happy for my friends and all, but sometimes it feels like everyone's moving forward but me. Like I'm stuck in this... this rut."
Spencer wasn't sure how to respond. On one hand, he knew how it felt to want something that seemed out of reach, but on the other hand, he felt like it wasn't his place to offer advice when he wasn't even sure what the future held for him.
"I get it," he finally said, trying to gather his thoughts. The least he could do was try to offer some comfort. "But just because you haven't reached those milestones yet doesn't mean you won't get there eventually."
"But what if it doesn't happen? What if I'm still all alone and nobody loves me when I'm gray and old?"
He frowned at you. "I'd still love you when you're gray and old."
"Platonically. You love me as much as you love JJ. Or Emily. Or Penny, or even Morgan." You leaned over the table. "I want to be loved passionately by someone who is head over heels for me, who can't imagine a life without me. I want to feel that kind of happiness."
His frown deepened. "I don't think you should find happiness in another person."
"You're missing the point," you groaned, crossing your arms. "I'm not saying I want to depend on someone else for my happiness. But is it too much to ask for someone to share it with? To feel like I'm someone's everything and not just another friend in the group?"
His expression softened as he listened, a sense of familiarity washing over him. He remembered feeling the same thing once, or maybe more than once; he wasn't sure. He had lost count of the times he felt his life was falling short.
But he realized the more he thought about the why—why was he so different? why couldn't he find love?—the more he felt worthless, and he hated that. So what was the best thing he did to ignore those thoughts?
Bury himself in work, because to him, pushing those feelings aside was easier than confronting them. But now, as he looked at you, it felt like he was seeing his own reflection and your words hit him harder than he expected.
"No," he quietly agreed. "It's not too much to ask for."
"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm tired of waiting for life to happen to me." Your gaze slowly met his. "So I came up with a plan."
His throat felt dry as he recalled how this conversation started in the first place. "The... baby plan?"
You nodded enthusiastically, sliding into the seat next to him.
"Think about it. If we're both still single when we're..." You paused, furrowing your brow as you did a quick calculation. "Forty? Yeah, let's say we're both still single when we're forty, with no partners, or like, no friends with benefits?"
You shook your head.
“Just... with no one in our lives—we get married. You and me."
He blinked, trying to process your proposal. It was unexpected, to say the least, but there was a strange logic to it that he couldn't quite shake. The idea of marrying his best friend as a backup plan was both absurd and oddly comforting.
"But what about... love?" he asked cautiously. "Wasn't that what you wanted?"
You paused, considering his question before responding. "I mean, I don't think it's impossible," you said, leaning back in your seat. "Haven't you ever heard of the saying, 'Marry your best friend'?"
His gaze lingered on you, his heart beating hard against his chest. "You're saying that we can fall in love?"
Your eyes met his, and a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Who knows?" you replied softly. "Stranger things have happened."
Spencer shouldn't entertain the possibility. After all, who knew what could happen in the future? It seemed like an absurd thought, but as he stared at you, it was hard not to imagine a life with you as his wife.
He imagined you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him with a radiant smile on your face. He pictured you both in the house you had just bought, dancing joyfully around the empty rooms as you unpacked boxes together.
Then thoughts of you being pregnant with his child—or maybe even children—filled his mind, and he envisioned a future where your kids would run around in the backyard with a pet dog trailing behind.
And then he considered the prospect of growing old with you, watching as your children eventually started families of their own while you found comfort in each other's company. All of these possibilities didn't seem so bad, because if anyone could understand him on a deep level, it was definitely you.
Maybe this crazy plan of yours wasn't so crazy after all.
"I... I guess it's not impossible," he finally admitted. Then, not wanting to seem too eager, he added, "Hypothetically speaking."
"Of course," you replied with a smile. "Hypothetically speaking."
Suddenly feeling flustered by your gaze, Spencer looked away and focused on his coffee, bringing the mug to his lips. Then you heard laughter and footsteps drawing closer, and soon Derek and Emily entered the room. Their eyes immediately landed on the two of you, sitting closely together at the table.
"What are you children whispering about?" Derek's voice interrupted, his eyebrows raised curiously as he glanced between you.
You didn't miss a beat. “Spencer and I are having a baby together."
Spencer choked on his coffee, his eyes widening in shock as he coughed and sputtered. You quickly moved to pat his back.
"Well, we're gonna get married first, right, Spence?" you added with a grin, glancing at him expectantly.
Spencer finally managed to regain his composure, clearing his throat awkwardly as he shot you a sideways glance. "Um, yeah, of course," he stammered, his cheeks still tinged with embarrassment. "Hypothetically."
Derek and Emily exchanged bemused glances, a silent conversation passing between them. Emily's curiosity seemed to win out as she lifted a hand, turning her attention back to you. "Care to explain?"
"We were discussing our backup plan."
"Backup plan?" Derek echoed.
"Yeah," you replied with a nod. "In case neither of us finds the right person by the time we're, oh, I don't know, forty or so, we figured we'd marry each other and start a family."
Derek placed a hand over his chest, feigning hurt. "And you chose Pretty Boy over me?"
"I'm not going to compete with all your lady friends," you shot back, rising from your seat. "Come on, Spence, let's grab some lunch and brainstorm baby names."
He stood up, giving you a pointed look.
"Or do you want to discuss how we'd make those babies in the future?"
"Well, I was thinking of Amelia if it's a girl..."
You grinned, linking your arm through his before guiding him towards the door. Derek and Emily observed the natural closeness between you two, how you were practically clinging to him and how he seemed to be comfortable with it.
Derek turned to Emily as you disappeared down the hallway. "Do you think they'd actually get married when they hit forty?"
Emily shook her head. "Nope," she replied confidently. "I give it a year until he's already down on one knee."
He laughed, nodding in agreement. With the way Spencer's gaze lingered on you with unmistakable affection, it seemed like it was only a matter of time.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic
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How JJK Men Eat Pussy 2.0
Satoru, Suguru, Nanami, Toji, Sukuna, Yuta, Itadori, Megumi
Warnings: All characters are 18+, this post is explicit smut. As if you couldn’t tell that from the title
A/N: Funny story, I forgot I already wrote this same concept last year… but since I didn’t realize until I finished writing this… imma post it anyways. But if you’d like to see my original thoughts on this topic, you can see them here with an additional 2 characters lol
Gojo Satoru
He is relentless, especially when he’s in the mood to go down on you. These little moods of his will have him between your legs for hours, multiple times a day. You always like to joke that he knows when you’re ovulating because somehow these little moods seem to fall in sync. If Satoru goes more than three days without you, it’s like he’s going through withdrawals. He’s skilled with his tongue, he’s able to move it in ways and speeds you didn’t know a man could. Typically he’s a tease, he’ll edge you until you have an orgasm so pathetic you can’t even call it one. Ya know, the kinds where you come and don’t feel that satisfaction, just the pulsating ache of needing more. But recently, Satoru discovered how much more fun it is to overstimulate you. He loves the way your finger’s bury in his hair and try to tug him off as he sucks on your clit until you’re sobbing and begging him to ease up. He’ll keep your thighs spread wide, large hands effortlessly keeping them in place while they desperately try and close. He’s also the type to see those “pineapple make’s your cum sweet” articles and come home with enough pineapples to feed a village. He’s not even embarrassed about his reasoning, even if it’s just a myth, his sweet tooth can’t pass up the opportunity. Satoru loves your natural taste, but you surprised him with edible lubes in various fruity and sweet flavors one night… you still recall seeing the sun rise.
Geto Suguru
He’s a god at eating pussy and you can’t convince me otherwise. Suguru has always been about your pleasure over his, not to say he doesn’t have his selfish moments, but your pleasure is just so much fun to him. He loves the noise, the facial expressions, the smell, the taste. The first time he went down on you, you were convinced he was lying about it being his first time. The ability just came naturally to Suguru. Like Satoru, Suguru loves to tease you. He’ll focus all of his attention on your dripping entrance, only stimulating your clit if his nose bumps it. He loves the way you squirm, his nails leaving crescent shaped nail marks in the plump flesh of your thighs as he holds you in place. He loves your breathless gasps, his long hair tickling your thighs as he eats you out, only adding to the stimulation that’s making your toes curl. Suguru loves to make you beg, pulling his mouth away from your cunt to just barely flick his tongue over your clit. He’ll stop all together just to taunt you until you’re sobbing, begging him to do something. He has a whole album on his phone dedicated to you, most of the content being videos of him eating you out, some he even made you take just so he could see the camera shake with your effort to keep it straight and hear your noises better. He puts on a show for you, slurping and sucking and moaning just to feel your thighs tremble as you moan with him.
Nanami Kento
Eating you out is a stress reliever for Nanami… so it happens like very fucking day. Lord help me this man will spend hours edging you, cheek pressed into your thigh as he lazily licks and nips at your cunt. He can’t think about anything but you when he is between our legs, moaning and whining his name like a beautiful lullaby. He’ll let you cum eventually, but for the time being you are completely at his mercy. Nanami is the type to wake you up with his head between your legs, especially on nights where he comes home late and you’re already passed out in bed. He’ll make out with your cunt honestly, licking and sucking and nipping at your folds until he can’t tell if you’re wet from his saliva or your own arousal. The answer is both. He doesn’t care for any of the fancy shit, so don’t bother with flavored lubes or eating particular fruits to try and alter your taste, he just wants you and you alone. I feel like this man has a scent kink so the smell of your arousal honestly gets him going even more. He prefers eating you out in bed, mostly because he’s tired and nothing feels better to him than laying on his plush mattress while using your thighs as his pillow. He’s a whore for face sitting by the way, even less of his energy needs to be put into that, especially when you’re grinding your cunt against his tongue. Nanami’s other favorite thing to do is use his tie to bind your wrists, that way you really can’t interrupt him.
Fushiguro Toji
I had to restart Toji’s so many times because I got too aggressive. Listen, this bummy ass bitch will eat you out till the sunrises and he will make a fucking mess of you while he does it. Toji will eat you out and finger fuck you until you’re screaming. He’ll give you a “break” by stuffing you full with his dick and then get back to work eating you out again after he blew his load in you. Filthy bitch. He’ll eat you out anytime, anywhere, any position. He’ll never turn down the opportunity and depending on your relationship with him, this bitch may even charge you for his services. Which is just another way he likes to tease you, watching you whine and squirm while you cough up the money he wants. He’ll call you pathetic as he gets on his knees and basically rips your underwear off of you, commenting the whole time about how much of a whore you are… like he ain’t selling his body to you rn. This man will somehow make you feel inferior, but you can’t be bothered when his tongue is lapping at your cunt like a starved man. Toji will make sure your thighs and your cunt are swollen, bruised, overstimulated, and sore by the time he’s done with you. Your cunt is puffy from his sucking and biting, thighs littered in dark marks and teeth indents. He'd go as far as to find a marker and write “cum dumpster” on you if he was really in the mood to see you sob.
Ryomen Sukuna
Listen, you thought Toji could be mean? Sukuna is ten times worse. The thing is, the king of curses actually likes to eat pussy but he won’t admit it. But that is not to say he can’t live without it, Sukuna is selfish and really only prefers things that pleasure him in the process. But, when you’re sobbing, pathetically begging him to go down on you, he may just crack. Especially if you’re looking at him with watery eyes, swollen lips from sucking him off, your neck littered with bite marks and bruises. Oh, and, if you’ve made him cum, he’s more likely to agree and indulge you. If you manage to convince the king of curses to go down on you, don’t expect him to be easy on you. His nails are digging into the flesh of your thighs, blood dripping slowly as he eats you out with so much force it’s borderline painful. He’s using his tongue and his teeth, nipping at your folds and even grazing your clit with them until he can tell your sobs are a breathless mix of pleasure and pain. If we’re talking true form Sukuna, I promise you he won’t stop until you’ve blacked out. He’ll use one set of arms to hold your waist while the other set keeps your thighs spread. He’s forcefully dragging your cunt over the long tongue that protrudes from his stomach, occasionally stopping just to hold you still as he spreads you open and stuffs you with the same tongue, watching you yelp and moan as he toys with you.
Okkotsu Yuta
If you look up the definition of “pussy drunk” you’ll see a picture of Yuta. This man cannot go down on you without becoming delirious. Your body puts him in a trance, he can’t even explain the way you make him feel. Yuta is all about body worship and his favorite way to go about it is having his face shoved between your legs for hours. He’s just as vocal as you are while he eats you out, groaning and whining against your cunt until the vibrations are making your eyes roll back as you cum again. He’ll be kneading your thighs as he eats, squeezing them like stress balls and hitting nerves that send sparks of electricity all the way to your toes and all the way up to the base of your neck. Without even trying, Yuta will manage to overstimulate you until you’re unironically going cross-eyed, fingers twitching as they bury in his hair and try to pull him off so you can catch your breath. Yuta is still a bit shy when it comes to being intimate outside of the privacy of your home. But that doesn’t mean he won’t drag you into the nearest bathroom and eat you out against the bathroom stall. In this sense, he’s almost cocky when someone unknowingly enters the bathroom only to see two sets of feet in one of the stalls. Not to mention the noises are echoing. Yuta lives to see your eyes going wide from embarrassment as he doesn’t stop, your noises are uncontrollable as he tongue fucks you. The poor bastard who entered the bathroom with the intention of properly using it just muttered under their breath and walked out.
Itadori Yuji
Yuji is eager, so, so damn eager. He wants to do anything and everything that brings you pleasure so when it comes to eating you out, he’s determined to be great at it. Yuji is the type to ask you for “practice” or “lessons” which is just his way of indirectly asking if he can eat you out. Most of the time, it’s an offer you can’t refuse, because as fate would have it, Yuji isn’t bad at anything. He’s so praise focused, eyes glued to your face as he flicks his tongue along your folds and waits for you to tell him he’s doing good. He’ll slow down when your praise isn’t coming fast enough because he wants you to beg. Yuji is a sucker for adding fingers to the mix, as much as he loves making you cum with just his tongue, he sees no point in limiting your pleasure for his own confidence boost. Kind of contradictory since he likes when you beg. Yuji is also the type to wake you up with his head between your legs, just slowly lapping at your cunt while also rutting his hips into the mattress, trying to not wake you up until you’re coming. He finds it so pretty when you wake up gasping, completely unable to restrict any of your noises as you orgasm. It’s important to mention that Yuji is a sucker for 69-ing and face sitting, he loves, loves, feeling your plush thighs caging in his head. He can’t get enough of the way your body settles so nicely into him, no longer afraid of “suffocating him” by sitting all the way down on him.
Fushiguro Megumi
He won’t admit it but he loves to eat you out. Megumi is shy at heart so even if he’s been with you for years, he can still get embarrassed when telling you how badly he wants to go down on you. He’s focused when he does get between your legs, hands gripping your thighs or hips while his tongue laps greedily at your cunt. Megumi loves to tongue fuck you, just because he knows it’s not enough stimulation to make you cum but enough to make you embarrassingly wet. He’s a bit mean at first, not willing to let you come until he feels you’ve earned it. He’ll stop abruptly just to sink his teeth into your inner thighs, not stopping until you’re gasping as the pain turns bruising. He’ll admire the teeth indents he’s left on your skin while his nails are scratching down your other thigh, tongue moving to wiggle against your clit until your hips are bucking. Megumi finds toys to be very hit or miss, but he’s found a love for stuffing you with a vibrator while putting all of his attention on your clit. Megumi’s preferred method of “torture” depends on his mood, either he’ll edge you until you’re begging or overstimulate you until you’re crying. He’s very private when it comes to these things… unless he’s jealous. Much like Yuta, he will not hesitate to drag you somewhere private while out in public to remind you of who you belong to.
#dividers are from @benkeibear#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jjk headcanons#gojo smut#geto smut#satoru smut#suguru smut#nanami smut#toji smut#sukuna smut#yuta smut#itadori smut#megumi smut#gojo x reader#geto x reader#nanami x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader#yuta x reader#itadori x reader#megumi x reader
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how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡
Note: this is not my post and it's blushydior's post that everyone been searching for, so i thought why not making it as a post,and blushy if you see this, please don't kill me i know you said that you'll change your post but you disappeared After that.
♡ table of contents:
1. the importance of making this post
2.my take on manifestation + the 3D
3. HOW I DID IT - my journey in 4 phases i went through that include my mindset changes up to the moment i got my desires
4. your new rules & routine from this moment on
5. a note from me!
6. frequently asked questions: separated into topics regarding the 3D, self concept + miscellaneous questions to have you leaving this post stress free.
now let’s get into it. read every bit of this post “ ~ ୨୧ ♡ ·
I. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THIS POST
i’ve been through it all. you can read my experiences from old life in the “my life before” section of my success story + here, here, here and here. this is my success story on how the law of assumption has changed my life. as you can see from the “how” section of the post, i had purposely left it short, sweet and simple to avoid people complicating the simplicity of the law of assumption. but as time went on, anons and other blogs made me realize that since people do tend to over-complicate the law, the need i felt to make an in-depth post on how i personally manifested through my hard circumstances grew strong.
my blog often highlights topics that pertain to mental health, so i want to make sure those who find themselves in the same situations as i once were feel seen, heard and loved. you are all so powerful, amazing and hold so much potential more than you know. with this post, i hope i am able to help you realize that fact to the best of my abilities.
𝐈𝐈. MY TAKE ON MANIFESTATION + THE 3D
something that you’ll see me say all the time is: “life is a blank canvas.” that’s because it truly is.
remember that you are working with the law of assumption. what you assume to be true, is true. nothing is set in stone unless you say it is. things have meaning only if you assign it one.
you are the sole creator of your life. you are the artist that controls the brush/pen, you control what goes on and off of this very malleable canvas we call life. you don’t have to do anything. therefore,
you don’t have to: affirm 24/7, be specific, word your affirmations correctly, listen to subliminals, ignore the 3D, be positive all the time, meditate, have high vibrations, script, visualize, do sats or lullaby, go into the void, affirm in the present tense, avoid the mirror, etc.
you can literally say a random word like “bonk” and if saying it means you have all your desires or money is constantly filling your bank account, then that’s what will happen!
“but what if my subconscious doesn’t know what it means?” your subconscious mind is literally you. it’s not some stranger separate from you. if you want a scene to play out a certain way on a specific date or a romantic partner with all the most perfect qualities even if you can’t name it all at the top of your head, your subconscious has your back with the details! you have your own back. don’t worry.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO IGNORE THE 3D.
read that again and again and again and again and-if your circumstances are quite literally in your face, how can you turn the other way and ignore it? you could if you wanted but you’ll only be doing more harm and we don’t want that, right?
“so then what do i do?” you KNOW it’s going to change. it’s challenging when you don’t fully believe the law to know it’s going to change, so for a start, tell yourself that this is not the end. why? because the moment you had a desire and claimed it as yours, it has already been set stone in the 4D so the 3D has no choice but to reflect it. this is your movie, you KNOW this is not the end. you are director and star of this movie! you control how it’s going to play out.
𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW I DID IT - The 4 Phases (more so, 3)
PHASE 1:
i found out about manifestation from tiktok. from there i have tried scripting, law of attraction and had taken a liking into the craft. i tried it all until i found out about the law of assumption, sammy ingram and finally, tumblr.
PHASE 2:
upon finding out about loassumption tumblr, i had learned more and more about the law but as time went on, i had realized i had never really fully tried to apply the law. the idea just didn’t come about to apply it. as many others, i had overconsumed information, always wondering if i was doing it right, questioning the 3D,
so i took a break. upon discharge, i realized many things and decided to spend an extended amount of time alone, away from social media. i’m someone who values alone time as long as if it’s spent wisely.
during this time away from tumblr and sns platforms in general, constantly surrounded by other people’s takes, information, and opinions, i had learned so much about the law of assumption on my own! i went into the law of assumption with a fresh mind, actually applying the knowledge and overtime of affirming and persisting, i ACTUALLY understood the meaning behind “creation is finished. it is done.”
i’m advising you to step away from social media (that on it’s own has negative impacts) and be alone with your thoughts. i know your thoughts haven’t had it’s time to be alone because you’re most likely constantly seeking information to help you. and i don’t blame you. it’s just that, you are always bombarded by thoughts that aren’t your own, you barely give some time to yourself to think for yourself!
PHASE 3:
and if you can’t help but be on tumblr for other reasons than loassumption, unfollow blogs for the time being, scroll past informational posts to avoid second guessing your application. tell yourself that
YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!
when it was time to apply the law, i simplified it. you choose what you desire, you affirm from your desire and persist. okay! got it. so that’s what i did. i affirmed whenever i thought about my desire, i kept saying that it is done! so in phase 2, i mentioned how i realized how creation was ACTUALLY done, right? before deciding to apply the law, i kept seeing posts saying that but i didn’t really fully understand it until the realization hit me during my time away from social media. (see? i love alone time. solitude is my bff) — here’s my breakdown for you:
once you decide a desire is yours to claim, THE SECOND you affirm that, in your head, imagination, your 4D, it is ALREADY yours. therefore, it has no choice to become physical reality. (this is why your subconscious only needs to hear things once in order for it to conform!)
it will always be yours for as long as you sustain that assumption (persist), it is yours! no matter what.
this is the meaning of “it is done.” it’s like telling a chef what dish you want, once they know what you want, they’ve got you covered. except that this chef is you. you know the details of your desire, you declare it’s going to conform instantly so why are you worrying? there is no need to worry.
informational post on the 4D + 3D here:
❝ If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses. To break this hypnotic spell of the senses you are told, "Go within and shut the door,” The door of the senses must be tightly shut before your new claim can be honored .Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being). As you become lost in the feeling of being (that which you are now claiming to be true of yourself) the doors of the senses once more open, revealing your world to be the perfect expression of that which you are conscious of being. ❞
i kept time away from social media and being persistent really helped me be aware of my thoughts.
persistence has helped me:
be aware of thoughts that i wouldn’t have been able to catch before. for example, i was declaring that i have all of my desires and creation was done, but i found myself affirming “okay but where is it?” — this made me realize i was questioning my desires in my 3D even though i knew it was done in the 4D. (you don’t have to do this, you can imply your 3D conforms fast with whatever affs)
flip and interrupt my intrusive thoughts faster and faster the more i persisted. i hated my intrusive thoughts so much. like it was so annoying and hurtful. it was filled with replaying past scenarios that happened to me, things i wished had played out differently, just people who absolutely did not deserve the right to be occupying my mind and space! so i was grateful to learn that with persistence, i started to have less and less of those.
(see!! mental diet, persistence!! <3 this is how habits form and strengthen duhh. remember not to abandon common sense for the law)
AND THEN, PHASE 4:
i had entered sabbath, the state of the wish fulfilled, calm and relaxation that my desire has already manifested and there wasn’t nothing left for me to do other than persist. after so much persisting and saturating my mind with my affirmations, i reached being peace with my desires. i’m really glad i persisted. see how after persistence of assumptions, though false, will harden into fact? see how even your affirmations would feel “fake” at first but will soon feel natural to you? this means that i wasn’t questioning where it was, how long it was taking, etc. but this doesn’t mean i was ignoring my 3D. i saw it all but i knew it was going to change BECAUSE i felt peace in my inevitable desires.
then, i received my desires.
❝ I couldn’t possibly be worried about anything if I really believe that imagining creates reality. ❞
❝ When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. ❞
𝐈𝐕. YOUR NEW RULES & ROUTINE
☆┆YOUR 3 NEW RULES ARE:
1, you have all your desires
i have all of my desires
creation is finished. it is done.
2. you manifest quickly and easily
manifesting is always so easy and instant for me
i always manifest within 2 days or less, the 3D conforms instantly.
the 3D instantly reflect my 4D
the physical reality instantly reflects my 4D/imaginative reality
3. you are okay because nothing can stop you from getting the inevitable
everything is going to be okay because creation is done
i am always aware of my thoughts. nothing can stop/get in the way of my desires.
no amount of intrusive thoughts, events and opinions of others have the power to stop my manifestations.
✉️: choose one affirmation from each list or make one of your own that makes you feel comfortable.
☆┆ROUTINE:
affirm on loop as an act of saturating your mind whenever you think of your desire until you feel satisfied,
in the morning, after you wake up: saturate your mind with affs.
read the manifesting vaunt below everyday (whenever you feel like it) — read it over and over again until you feel confident then go about your day!!
at night, before you sleep, affirm this:
“i kept all my thoughts in check today. i didn’t waver once. my mind is completely saturated with the new story.”
optional tip: if you want to saturate your mind even more as a start, you can set reminders with sticky notes around your space, have affs on your phone lock screen or wear a bracelet.
✉️ NOTE: soon enough, your mind will be saturated and you won’t need to do this anymore. this is just a start for those who battle intrusive thoughts!
let yourself feel any emotions that may come up because of your hard circumstances then once it’s out of your system, affirm your rules, especially rule #3!
do not consume any loassumption information if you know it will only cause you to second guess your ability. if you have the urge to ask a blog a question, try to make sense of what they will say and answer it yourself.
in times of doubt, remember that life is a blank canvas. your desire is set in stone, so your only task is to persist.
REASSURANCE VAUNT
creation is ACTUALLY finished. it is done. the second i claimed my desires as mine, it has already manifested itself in the 4D so it has no choice to present itself in the 3D! all i have to do is affirm and persist. i always have unwavering faith in my manifesting abilities and the law. i never fail. i am successful at every single thing i do. manifesting is so effortless. no amount of doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts or events can ever, and i mean EVER stop my manifestations. why? because i said so. this is MY life. i make the rules. so if i say i manifest easily, the 3D conforms instantly and that i have all of my desires, then it is a FACT. i’m literally unstoppable. everything i want is inevitable. my only task is to persist, sit back and relax as the 3D reflects my 4D. it all happens so fast, but what else do you expect from a master manifester like me?
SOMETHING TO NOTE:
most of the time, people think affirming on loop is saying it like a robot but what you don’t realize is that you’re affirming as if you’re reading a book. it’s not filled with enthusiasm but it’s not exactly monotone either. stop overthinking it. it’s like the voice you’re reading this post with. correct?
again, soon enough, your affirmations will feel natural and you won’t feel the need to affirm constantly. the routine above was given for those who battle intrusive thoughts, making your affirmations dominate to the point where you don’t waver.
QUOTES on STATES:
❝ I paid thirty dollars for my first suit. Today a suit will cost me $200.00, but regardless of the cost, when the suit is new I am aware of it. But let me wear it long enough for it to feel natural and I will no longer be conscious of it. The same is true for a state. You may desire the state of fame. If you will think you are famous and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your fame. ❞
❝ I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new. People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours! ❞
𝐕. ENDING NOTE
i love you. read that again. you can do it. read that again. i am so so so so proud of you. read that again! you are so strong, you have SOO much potential and power. it’s time for you to tap into it, angel. stop making excuses. stop telling yourself you can’t do it. stop the nonsense! you’ve dealt with your hard circumstances long enough, it’s time for you to turn to the person who can make that change (you) and make it happen. i’m really sorry you have to go through what you did. you certainly do not deserve the unkind treatment. give yourself a hug and tell yourself that this. is. it. you’re going to make the change. you know it and i do too. it’s possible. nothing is impossible for the person who believes! keep the faith in yourself. nothing can stop you.
it’s like those movies where the mc finds out they hold so much power. they doubt it because of the life they’ve had so far but once they give it a shot, they become the most powerful hero ever. you are that hero!!!
i love you and i am, again, giving you the biggestttt hug ever.
now, with that being said, @blushydior will no longer be taking asks regarding this topic. i’ve cleared most of the questions that could ever arise. you don’t need my guidance anymore after this post! im seeing you off now. i love you. stay safe. know that you’re loved and hold the power to change your life.
— kisses from bambi ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
ps. make sure you clicked the words that have links! <3 (the links are missing)
𝐕𝐈. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Something you wish you could’ve told yourself before you manifested it all to make things easier for anyone struggling:
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
you guys are beating yourself up for something so simple. take a step back and realize that. you’re already dealing with such hard circumstances, so why are you literally degrading yourself for something so within your power and reach? tell yourself everything is going to be okay. you’re always doing your best. you deserve the WORLD.
I could write a whole novel, combine all the posts on tumblr teaching the law of assumption, and every helpful ask out there but at the end of the day, YOU are the only person who could change your life. YOU make the call. turn every doubtful question to a positive one, when in doubt, turn inwards toward the 4D and know that it is real. it is done the second you affirmed it so.
SPEND TIME ALONE.
i can NOT stress this enough. i didn’t include the details of my time alone in phase 2 for nothing. you’ll see that you can answer your own questions. you’ll catch the thoughts you missed because you have always been so adamant on getting answers to questions you already knew. take a deep breathe and stay firm.
SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP.
What did you affirm to get your dream life?
basically my affirmations i gave above and these. all i used were blanket affirmations.
What does persisting mean to you? What does persisting really feel like? Is it just like a mental diet? or what?
“persisting is sticking to what you want / the end no matter what you’re shown, told, and what you experience + picking yourself up after letting any negative emotions & thoughts pass by.” — blushydior from this ask here (sadly the link is missing:()
+ keeping your thoughts in line of the same category. to word this in a different way, i can affirm so many affirmations just as long as they mean the same thing to me!
“it also is a mental diet. we’re always persisting in something. it’s just a matter of what you’re persisting in. you either persist in your desire or negative/non-beneficial thought 24/7.”
“in your post about how you changed your life, you said you just affirmed and persisted. but from your other posts it seems like you read neville goddard books. so did you just affirm or did you do imaginal acts too? i get confused when people say “just affirm and persist” cause neville never said that.” (original ask here) (note from Eli: the link is missing).
“yes, i read his books and sometimes i would do imaginal acts but i would only do that bc it helped me get by my circumstances, yk? like if i was overwhelmed i would just daydream lol. its like how i read books to escape to another world. but i would say, affirming and persisting was what i focused more on.
i just used what worked for me and used his quotes as a reminder of the power of man. i didn’t want to bound myself to one’s teaching constantly worrying if im doing it “right” or not so instead, i went back to his quotes that consisted of telling me to persist, look inwards, finding confirmation in my imagination, etc whenever i needed a pick me up.
but correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure many of the success stories he shared consisted of people simply decreeing their desires and feeling the wish fulfilled simply by repetition and acceptance of their assumption.”
What is saturating your mind?
read about it here (the link is missing, but Basically it is repeating an affirmation every minute or hour until you feel fulfilled)
Do we have to believe our affirmations? Did you ever doubt the law in the process?
no, i did not believe my affirmations and YES of course i doubted the law but i kept persisting either way because what could i lose? and here i am.
Did you just affirm, persist, maintain a mental diet and that’s it? No SATS, going to the void, lullaby, repeating affirmations? Did you just got it sleep?
just affirming and persisting. sure, the occasional lullaby, i usually affirmed for 10 seconds max before i gave up. i couldn’t sleep without imagining some romantic scenario LOL #bambiexposed
How to deal with manipulation and narcissism?
remind yourself that you’re in advantage because you know about the law of assumption. life is a dream, you can literally have whatever you want just by affirming. if you know that, why allow yourself succumb to other people’s thoughts and beliefs? i couldn’t allow other people’s thoughts ruin my chance of living my dream life. the thought of it alone gave me the worst feeling.
How did you tackle the feelings of having no hope? + After being in the victim state for so long what did you do to get yourself out and actually stay out?
i persisted on loop whenever i doubted the law. i reminded myself that it doesn’t hurt to just be quiet, affirm and persist to live my dream life. just do it. you gain nothing from turning back to your old habits. see what’ll happen if you don’t give up. ❝ Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith! ❞ ❝ Objects seem so independent of our perception of them that we incline to forget that they owe their origin to imagination.❞
What was the timeframe of when you got your desires?
about a week after deciding to be strict with self discipline, mind you, i was dealing with hard circumstances and intrusive thoughts for years. within this time span, i had entered sabbath so i immediately got my desires.
How did you kept a positive mindset when it looked like there was no movement?
refer back to phase 3
What was your affirming routine?
AT FIRST, when i started to get sick of overconsumption and not getting my desires, i knew my mind wasn’t saturated/my desires were not my dominant thoughts. so, i decided to be strict with myself. i reminded myself with pieces of paper in my room that said: ❝ PERSIST. new story only!❞ ❝ AFFIRM!❞
❝ 1.) the 3D conforms instantly.
2.) AFFIRM THE DESIRED
3.) BE LOT.❞
and taped them on the wall infront of my bed & one on my door so i can see it before i head out.
i didn’t need them anymore after a few days. (phase 3 & 4)
What did you do on all the days you woke up and things were still the same?
stop affirming that you don’t see results. i flipped the thought of “nothing’s changed.” to “i am in my desired reality, it is done.” and so on. be stern and remind yourself that you are in control. don’t fall prey to the 3D. turn inwards, find confirmation in the 4D. read quotes above.
How did you not react to the 3D?
i allowed myself to be angry. if i wanted to cry, i did. if i wanted to vent, i did. i ranted my feelings out in my head, aloud or in a journal then proceeded to go back to the new story after i cooled down.
But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?”
you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. i ranted for 2% of my 24 hour days. the other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and i felt more at ease. i held onto that feeling because i knew this was when i would get my desires and i did. letting out and actually feeling your feelings is important. you’re not a robot.
Did you script how your life would be?
no.
(.𖥔 ݁ note from Eli: here's her post about her life before and After she changed it with LOA, anyway i wanted to make it in a post since the Google document can't let you make a copie of it and plus you can't take screenshots which René didn't allow)
#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loa#loa blog#law of manifestation#how to manifest#loassumption#void state#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#affirm and persist#vaunts & affirmations#4d reality#master manifestor#loa success#instant manifestation
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ok i love the idea of a third transmigrator, so consider this: you wanna know what else would be hilarious? is if that third transmigrator was like, the complete opposite of shen yuan when it comes to PIDW. instead of being a super hater, they're a super fan.
before, they always donated to airplane bro and was literally half of sqh's income. fucking loads of money and a whole paragraph literally every chapter saying how much they love it. at one point, the third transmigrator probably gave fan mail to airplane expressing just how meaningful PIDW is to them and how it has helped them get through rough times throughout their life.
they also probably have a whole blog dedicated to hyperfixating on PIDW. fanart, fanfics, way too overly complicated in depth analyzations that airplane definitely just put in there for shits and giggles, but when he actually sees the post they made he can't help but feel kinda bad, so he praises them for being such a smart reader and catching on! (maybe they also create some of the official work for PIDW, oooo)
thing is, they absolutely fucking know PIDW is a shitshow no matter how much they love it (like how shen yuan hates it but deep down it's his whole livelihood). they know it's badly written, they know that sqh fucked over the entire story, but they just can't help it! it's such a comfort novel to them, despite the dumpster fire it is!
shen yuan probably either got into fights with them every time he came across them on the online forums or respectfully kept his distance, feeling more pity than annoyance. either way, sy's mindset was totally like "are they stupid? this is clearly the trashiest thing in this entire world! but airplane doesn't deserve such a devoted fan, it's really not fair for them!"
honestly, i don't know how airplane would feel about them. happy that he pretty much has such a devoted fan who is ALSO like an online sugar daddy? guilty for having the super fan do most of his work, being like, "yup! that was totally what i was planning, ahaha!"? i have no idea. knowing him, it'd be a good mix of conflicted feelings... probably most likely grateful. look, they're a big part of the reason why he can get the fancy, higher quality instant ramen, okay!?
anyways, i think it'd also be hilarious if the third transmigrator climbed the ranks in determination to just see the peak and all it's glory.. maybe after sqq transmigrated. but they're just this really intimidating person. not because of their looks or anything, but because of how quick they are to call out on any of sqq's or sqh's weirdness. how they seem to always have their eye on them, just watching. like they know something.
(at some point, sqq and sqh try to test some weird thing to see if transmigrator 3 was, you know, a transmigrator, but ultimately they fail because it's funnier if they both just think they're an npc who is about to know too much and both freak out because of it. at the same time, transmigrator 3 also believes that sqq and sqh are just npcs but they just transmigrated into a weird version of PIDW AU where shen qingqiu is actually pretty chill instead of there being other transmigrators )
eventually transmigrator stumbles across sqh's writing. and then they like.. sort of find it very comforting? something about it feels so familiar, like home. even though they know sqh is no good, working with mobei-jun, they'll let him stick around.. for now.
sqh and transmigrator 3 start to have some sort of weird bond where they start inviting themselves for tea, reads his stuff, and leaves. and it just repeats. at first, sqh is very against it! this random npc is just barging in and pretty much demanding to see his drafts! but, it does feel nice to have someone so.. willing to spend time with him, and actually read his stuff.. even if it's kind of awkward! then, the npc starts really analyzing things sqh randomly put in the little prompts. wow! reminds him a lot of a certain person. but his sweet naive super fan would never be so.. like this. stand offish, downright cold at times!
he wonders how they're doing.
eventually, sqh's true identity is revealed. but instead of being killed or whatever the fuck transmigrator 3 looks like theyre about to do, they just fucking break down in front of him. all hell breaks loose and now sqh knows that his super fan is transmigrator 3, and literally won't leave his side.
transmigrator 3 goes from a somewhat cold, intimidating man who mostly does his own thing, to a nervous mess talking to sqh ("i- i am such a big fan of pidw! you probably don't even remember me but i did this and that!! wait, you do remember? oh my god, i am literally going to die from happiness! you even kept the letter?? this is the best day of my life!! i'm so sorry, i'm just really happy and excited to actually meet you, like- oh god, i probably look like a mess-").
now we have: the hack author, the super hater(fan), and the #1 PIDW lover. maybe they even become a trio of transmigrator besties. it's a nice change of pace, with transmigrator 3 being not too unlike a middle ground for sqq and sqh lol
svsss is funny for a lot of reasons ofc but one of them to me is that if somehow there was a third transmigrator who knew that the other transmigrators were the author and a hate-fan, and their options as to who's-who were
-guy who plays a pivotal role in both versions of the story, managed to go from one of the main character's greatest enemies to his husband, single-handedly saved the realms, has all encompassing knowledge of literally everything to do with pidw
and
-cannon fodder villain who is somehow still alive and only does paperwork
not in a million years would they pick who's-who correctly
#damn i really went off there#sorry this was just really fun to think about#someone make a fanfic about this please#wait hear me out... sqq x superfan reader x sqh... wait dont shut the digital door on me PLEASE#anyways im hyperfixating on this so hard right now i dont know why oh my god#help im imagining sqq and sqh trying to get transmigrator 3 away from each other bc they think the other is a bad influence or smth#this went almost completely off topic from what the og post was even about i just saw transmigrator 3 and ran with it#look theres so much tension between sqq and sqh someone has to break it up#because binghe definitely isnt helping at all#sqh and sqq look at each other as transmigrator 3 talks about some epic plot point in pidw#bc they both know damn well sqh was just bullshitting but they cant bring themselves to ruin the illusion lmfao#i think itd be cute if sqq finally put away his hater bs and just let transmigrator 3 get all happy talking about pidw and stuff#svsss ideas#svsss
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Calm Yandere x you
“Your expressionless boyfriend.”
Rated 18 + — mature short content!
Includes: calm yandere x talkative gender neutral reader, mutual pining?, strangers to friends to lovers, cute fluff in the beginning… other stuff later on. wink wink. ♡
Calm yandere was known to be a little cold. His default face is an unamused one, the ends of his lips always downward, and it certainly scared you away from him when you first saw him. He didn’t like to socialize as much as you did, and when you talked to him, he only seemed to nod. “Mhm,” and “uh-huh,” was all you could get from him. He didn’t hate nor dislike you— you’re an absolute perfect specimen, and a normal, and adaptable human being. You were everything he wanted to be. You were everything he wanted, period. He started to form a crush on you, and it was a minuscule one at first. He appreciated how you were able to carry a conversation, how bright and confident you looked compared to him, and you were this bright light in his grim dark reality.
Calm yandere was surprised when you made the first move. You wanted to be friends, and being just friends with you felt like torture. Although, he agreed—not wanting to miss the opportunity to be by your side even more. He followed you around, agreed to show up to all hangouts you planned, and he even invited you to his house. His house was surprisingly warm. He had soft white curtains, light pink decorations here and there, and it smelled like freshly baked cookies. Warm and sweet was what you would describe him now that you got to know him. He was the perfect host. He was showing you around the backyard, and he pointed out a couple of butterflies that liked to come by. His voice was flat and monotonous when he explained his favorite butterflies to you, but you could see a slight glimmer of happiness in his eyes. And most importantly, he showed you his bedroom. He had manga books on his shelves, Smiski figurines, and one of the compartments was just filled with snacks. He had an old dog named “Mini” that was sleeping on his huge bed, loudly snoring, and kicking her feet as she dreamt of running around.
Calm yandere had asked you to be his partner months later. You were shocked when he confessed his feelings for you, and here calm yandere was, thinking that he had done a good job of hinting at it. You did notice the glances he would send your way, and how they would linger a bit longer than before. You then started to think back to the times he would do things for you. He would bend down and tie your shoelaces. He gave you his jacket when it was raining, and he would walk home soaking wet. He carried you on his back when you tripped and hurt your ankle. He let you into his house when you fought with your parents, and tried his damn hardest to crack a worried expression on his stone-like face. It wasn’t like you weren’t into him, you tried to give him signals too.
Calm yandere was oblivious, just as you were oblivious. You had literally invited him to every place you could think of. You made pottery with him, and even put your hands on his to help him shape his clay into a vase. That was a very intimate act. An act that made you flustered and blushing when you had pressed your body behind his. Him, on the other hand, didn’t even blink at the action. When you had told him that you found him cute and adorable, he just said “okay.” OKAY?? Clearly that meant he didn’t like you back, and you quickly put on a strained smile and went on with your day.
Calm yandere was an active listener, not really a replier, but a listener. He might look like he was disinterested, but any subject you brought up was the most interesting, and fascinating, topic of all time. You would talk his ear off, and you liked to speak your mind. “So, as I was saying…” you continued. He nodded along, his cheek resting on his hand, and he leaned even closer to play with the strands of your hair. He liked feeling and touching you. It reminded him that you were real, that you were in front of him, and you were officially his. Your lips were perfect, always moving and speaking, and it would form the world’s most beautiful smile. He could tell that some days you didn’t want to hear any solutions from him, and only wanted to have someone to talk too. So, he does exactly what you want.
Calm yandere was happy to advance the relationship even further! He would show finally show some PDA. An arm would casually be slung around your shoulders while you two walked. Whenever you sat next to him, and he didn’t like the distance between you two, he would grab onto the leg of the chair and pulled it in closer. He then would kiss your cheek, and as fast as it came, he had pulled back before you could reciprocate. He knew that being a boyfriend meant that he had to do some certain things… He was feeling bold when he saw you wearing shorts, and without really thinking, his hand reached out to touch at your thighs.
Calm yandere was taken aback by the overwhelming positive reaction. He didn’t imagine that a single brush from his finger tips would cause your brain to go haywire. You had pushed him onto the couch, and he fell back with a little grunt. He saw that you had climbed onto his lap, straddling his hips, and had placed his hand on a sensitive spot of your body. He felt up the flesh, and his fingers slipped underneath your shorts. He kept a watchful eye on your facial expressions, and he hummed in delight when you spread your thighs even further for him. He rubbed his fingers up and down the length of your privates, and he started to collect some of the wet substance that had leaked out. He heard you breathe out his name, and when your voice soon became whiny and you had pleaded for more, he knew you had to be close.
Calm yandere had you on your back. He pulled your shorts down your legs, flinging them to the side after he revealed your lower half to him. He leaned down to greet your sex with his tongue. You were loud and talkative in bed, just as you were out of it. Your back arched, and your hands painfully gripped at his hair. Your body started to tremble, almost trying to squirm its way out from underneath him. His hands had to keep your legs from closing on him, “don’t try to keep me away from you.” your boyfriend said firmly. He then gestured to the growing tent in his pants, “this is all your fault. I’ll make you feel good if you can do the same for me.”
Calm yandere liked to lick his fingers in front of you. His tongue swiping at the salty cum before he fully puts his digits inside his mouth. He could feel the wrinkles and ridges of his pruned fingers, and he gleefully sucked off the excess cum and saliva that had gathered on there. You were lying on the couch with a bit of a daze, your chest rising and falling, and you could still feel his eyes wandering on the work he had done. You had love bites on your neck, trailing down to your inner thighs, and lower towards your ankles. He had bit you down there to keep his voice down while he had himself buried deep inside of you. What could he say? You knew how to press his buttons and drive him wild.
Allure: this is calm yandere after you had called him cute.
Allure: A little update: I’ll work on the master list soon after this, and I’ll have to update a couple of lists such as the yandere kink ones… so that should be done next!
#Allurilove yandere writing#calm yandere x you#male yandere#male yandere x talkative reader#male yandere x gn reader#listener x yapper reader#male yandere oc x reader#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x darling#yandere male oc#yandere x gn reader#calm yandere#yandere imagines#mutual pining#yandere oc#cute fluffy romance#fluff and smut#smut writing#friends to lovers#yandere smut#yandere boyfriend#strangers to friends to lovers#x gn reader#x gn y/n
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Hi can i pls request a lando x reader where he mentions in many interviews that he wants an army of kids and the camara always pans to other drivers teasing reader
ofc you can baby <33 thanks for helping me celebrate! here's that kiss i promised xoxo
requests are open!
852 words.
it wasn't unknown that lando wanted kids. it's not like he went out of his way to to talk about having children either, he just went on half an hour tangents anytime an interviewer brought up the topic is all. you didn't find out just how many until you decided to ask him about it one night, not long after lando had gotten slandered on twitter for being 'obsessed' with having a mini version of himself running around.
"so.. you know how you've said you want kids?" you start, voice a little hesitant knowing he was a bit peeved about the bullying he was getting online for that very thing. if looks could kill you swear you would be a dead girl.
"don't you start." he groans, eyes rolling so hard to the of his head you thought they may get stuck.
lando, who had just gotten ready for bed, slips in beside you and you immediately know he's not actually pissed off at you because he is pulling your arm to get you as close to him as he physically could.
"i don't mean it like that, i just wanted to ask you about it." lando watches as you strain your neck up to be able to see his reaction from your very comfortable position on his chest. it does bring the smallest of smiles to his lips.
with a joking sigh he asks "what do you want to know?".
"well, i guess the most important one is-"
"if i want them with you?" lando interrupts, sending your brows into your hairline. you smack him on the back of the head and he just laughs like it was actually funny. dickhead.
"no! how many you want. but now i don't want any with you if they're going to turn out like you." you cross your arms over your chest, trying to convince him you actually were in a huff. a strong hand running down your front seconds after ruins your plans for any further annoyance though.
lando hums in thought before he answers your question. his hand now drawing random shapes on your hip bone.
"you're going to hate me when i say this, but i only really wanted a few maybe two max? but being with you? i want minimum four."
your gasp makes him wince. you're shocked, there is no way he is actually being serious. you tell him as much but he shakes his head and assures you just how serious he is.
"honestly baby. i want a big family with you."
his words may or may not rile you and you guys maybe get started on that big family that night, but you don't kiss and tell..
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱
lando wasn't to hold back on his thoughts or feelings and with his rants about wanting to start a family were proof of this, well you had thought so. the next time you're at the paddock is the next time he's asked about starting a family. you're watching from the side with max and oscar as he gets interviewed and you can see the say his whole face lights up at the question, as if racing was a chore he was getting forced to do every few weekends and not the second favourite part of his life.
lando takes a quick glance in your direction before he starts and it's like your conversation on the topic opened the floodgates in lando's mind as he reveals his every thought on having a baby or two or ten.
"me and my girlfriend were talking about this and it made me realise i want a full on norris army of children behind me. i want minimum four with my girl. ideally two of each but wouldn't even complain if all i had was girls because then that means that there would be so much more of my girl out there in the world, and little parts of me i guess too." lando's smile is splitting and the interviewer smiles back at him, loving seeing him being so open and honest about it.
"would you encourage your little ones to get involved in karting and racing?" she enquires. you can already picture taking your imaginary children along to watch lando in his races. it does make your heart skip a beat or two.
as the interview continues, unbeknown to you and the other two drivers who are making kissy faces at pretending to cradle a child in their arms just to tease you and how much lando was infatuated with the idea of kids with you, the camera pans in your direction to get a nice reaction shot to your boyfriend's words.
all they capture is your bright red face, from the teasing and lando blunt words, and the boys childish behaviour.
that night is then filled with lando teasing (and comforting) you as it was now your turn to get teased on twitter, millions of fans already making your reaction a meme. you knew you'd never live it down and a small part of you was excited to explain the video and reaction picture to those future kids.
#lando norris x you#lando norris oneshot#lando norris fluff#lando norris fic#lando norris one shot#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 oneshot#lcriedlastnight#lcriedlastnight 500 followers special
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Really stupid au where when they were younger, Kakashi and Obito shared an accidental kiss a lot like Sasuke and Naruto. (Kakashi commits to his mask shortly after but will never not insist it's unrelated)
Years later and Kakashi, trying to cheer up Naruto and Sasuke ab their own embaressing accidental first kiss, shares his own story
Then, years later when Obito reveals himself on the battlefield, instead of going "woah, another Uchiha!?" when he hears his name, Naruto can't help but point and shout OH MY GOD UR THE GUY WHO KISSED SENSEI!!!!!!!!
Instant dead silence. (Obito wants to die)
Sakura, who never heard the story ab how it was a one time accidental kiss: "omg... sensei's childhood boyfriend went evil on him... this is so fucked up"
Obito is VIOLENTLY thrown off by this turn of events (and also hasn't actually thought ab it in years oh my god that did happen didn't it)
Kakashi, seeing how badly it threw him off, and also the kind of person who plays hard into throwing people off and generally fucking w them to gain an edge, seeing Sakura mumbling ab lovers to enemies and just kinda goes "Yeah Obito I can't believe you'd do this to me I thought we had smthn special."
"Yeah a rivalry????"
"So I was only ever a way for u to get stronger,, figures u were using me,,,"
[Confused Obito car crash noises]
Sakura yells smthn ab him being a deadbeat and how Kakashi can do so much better and Naruto is instantly shouting in agreement as Sasuke stands there like "hn." Which is basically the same thing for him
Kakashi just starts straight up lying actually
"What about all those picnics we went on... watching the sun set over konoha..."
"Are you talking about when Minato said we weren't allowed to come back inside till we stopped arguing and ate on opposite ends of the roof bc we couldn't even look at eachother without yelling???"
"It was so romantic."
Obito, starting to actually doubt himself, "was that a date????"
(It was not.)
"You died in my arms..."
"I died under a rock"
"We literally got eye married" (not a thing, he just made this up 3 seconds ago)
"We got WHAT" (no one can prove him wrong tho bc no surviving Uchiha knows that much ab their clans marriage traditions)
"Oh my god sensei's husband is a deadbeat" - sakura, horrified (and maybe a little delighted)
"Figures." -Sasuke, who's been in proximity w Obito for some time now and absoloutley believes every word ab this topic Kakashi is saying
"Woah. This is almost as bad as the fact he murdered my parents when I was a baby dattebayo" - Naruto who's priorities are NOT what they should be
"Ok. I wouldn't go that far." - Sasuke, who's priorities are also fucked but not THAT fucked, oh my god Naruto
"No, no he's right. We should kill him even harder for this" - Sakura, who doesn't actually agree but wants an excuse for more juicy sensei love drama (and also wants to see Obito beaten to death anyways)
#naruto#birds fic talk#this is so stupid#kkob#obkk#obikaka#kakaobi#kakashi hatake#hatake kakashi#obito uchiha#uchiha obito#sakura haruno#haruno sakura#uzumaki naruto#naruto uzumaki#sasuke uchiha#uchiha sasuke#team 7 naruto
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KILL FOR YOU | spencer reid
summary ; one time Spencer wanted to propose and the one time he did.
warnings; fem reader, mentions of injuries, protective Spencer, reader gets hurt by an unsub, spencer beats said unsub, normal criminal minds stuff, angst if you drink vodka, hit ur head then squint a little. they are so in love
an; this was gonna be 2 times spencer wanted to propose and the one time he did but i couldnt be fucked writing it. NOT PROOF READ.
this gif is my fav ever bc he is so bloody cute oh my gosh
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!
“Hey spence.”
It rolled off your tongue simply, easily like nothing. Like it was made to leave your lips. The little nickname, the sweet tone so gentle without intention. Spencer had grown to love it more and more everyday.
Your hand fell gently on the top of his shoulders, Spencer could feel the indent of your rings over his sweater — the one he wore often after you mentioned it was one of your favourites on him.
“Hi honey” He turned in his chair to face you. You had been busy doing case work all day with Emily and unfortunately she deemed Spencer too much of a distraction to be around, so he was sent away sulking for the last three and a half hours.
His eyes met your face and his lips tugged up into a smile. How could he help it when you looked so beautiful. Your hair tied back into a ponytail, a simple fleece sweater of his folded upwards enough to look like it didn’t completely bag on you, over a simple black skirt. It stunned him how you made his home clothes look so professional and good. 
“I missed you” He said, taking ahold of your hand in his. Letting the warmth of your skin raise the heat in his own — although skin to skin contact from wasn’t necessary to raise his body temperature. Just you being around was enough. He would see you from across the room, laughing or smiling and his stomach would flush with warmth. It was inevitable.
You giggled — god he loved the sound. “Your hands are freezing.” You muttered as you interlaced your fingers from his, despite the comment you relished in the small contact you two shared. You tried to keep it professional at work as much as possible.
“Warm them up?” He suggested innocently tilting his head to the side as his gazed remained fixated on your face. He couldn’t pull his eyes away even if he wanted to — which he didn’t.
You smiled and squeeze your fingers around his hand. “I missed you too.” You said back — replying to his earlier comment. He adored that, how to often got sidetracked, over excited and distracted jumping from topic to topic without even realising you were doing it before finishing your sentence. He loved that about you, he watched and adored you every time, no matter what you were saying, or how much he sat there and listened to every word.
“How did you go?” He asked, he subconsciously swung your arms softly as he spoke, eyes locked onto yours. He didn’t needed to explain what he meant — he was talking about how you went getting on with the work. He knew you understood that.
You hummed, other hand straying to fidget and pick up things at his desk. Normally people touching his stuff and messing it about would annoy him — but it didn’t bother him the slightest when it came to you.
“It went good — once we were distraction free” You muttered before turning your head back to face him, he noticed the teasing smile on your face instantly.
He snorted, “Once you were distraction free. Emily was fine” He said.
You shook your head, “She was distracted by my distraction. You are very distracting Spencer Reid” You pointed out, hand leaving his desk to poke the top of his nose gently. Spencer scrunched up his face at the touch but the smile remained on his lips.
“Oh! I was thinking about dinner, maybe we could get take out tonight? I saw a new Chinese takeout spot on the way to work tod- I also saw the cutest puppy earlier, we should get a puppy spence, just a little one” You cut yourself off in the way he already expected you to.
“We can try it tonight” He said fondly, “And we can speak more about the dog thing later” He said. He loved animals but he didn’t know how he felt about having a dog in his house, the amount of germs they would track inside the house set an unsettling bundle of nerves in his stomach, but he knew if you wanted it there was nothing more he would do then get you it.
Your face lit up, he felt his chest swarm.
Yeah definitely worth the germs.
You audibly yay’d. Spencer felt his chest rise and fall as the all familiar thought ran through his head. His hand reached into his pocket to fiddle with the small box in his pocket. He knew deep down it was stupid to carry it around all the time but he couldn’t help it.
He didn’t want to plan the perfect moment — he wanted it to be the perfect moment. He wanted it to feel perfect when he proposed, not be made to feel perfect. Grand gestures weren’t him, and it wasn’t you. But he wanted it to feel right.
Right now, the look on your face, the feeling in his chest was one of those moments where he couldn’t get the idea out of his head, he couldn’t stop himself for thinking about how gorgeous you would look walking down the aisle towards him. He couldn’t stop picturing spending the rest of his life with you.
He said your name, causing you to look back at him from where your gazed was fixated on your intertwined hands. His tone was hesitant and nervous but you made every nerve worth it.
His fingertips wrapped the velvet box, “I-“ His hand paused when your head swung around at the sound of your name. Seeing Emily calling you.
“Emily!!” You said excitedly, “Me and Spence are getting a dog!” You cheered as you looked over at her, your smile bright and wide as you once again got distracted subconsciously.
The slight disappointment slipped away in moments as Spencer watched you smile excitedly. He knew you were probably playing the idea out in your head.
“Maybe.” He reminded — but he knew he would give in.
You rolled your eyes playfully as you looked back on him. “—Probably?” you negotiated, raising your eyebrow hopefully. He chuckled shaking his head before sighing. “Probably.” He agreed.
“I love you” You leant down to place a quick, simple and sweet kiss on his lips before you bounced away to continue your conversation with Emily as she reminded you that there was still more work to do.
Spencer tapped his fingers against the velvet material in his pocket, licking his lips chastely as he tried to push the thought from his mind. Turning back to face his computer screen he let out a soft sigh.
It would be perfect.
“Where is she?” Spencer pushed through a group of people, eyes wide and mind a completely and utter mess. The only thing he could focus on was you. He had zero regard for the people he shoved out of the way trying to get to Hotch.
His looked around — trying to find any glimpse of you possible as he stood in front of Hotch. He was scared — he was absolutely terrified and he couldn’t see you anywhere. “Where is she?” He repeated
He felt Hotch’s hand on his shoulder which normally he would find comforting but he flinched away from it. “Reid.” Hotch said, his tone gently but still holding the stern component that never seemed to leave.
He was trying to be respectful he really was but his mind was apanic. “Hotch, Where the fuck is she?” He hardly swore but it slipped out as he avoided holding eye contact with the older man, scared maybe he might burst into tears as his chest felt unbearably tight.
“Shes with the paramedics, she’s in a lot of pain— Reid.” Spencer didn’t stay to listen to the rest of what his boss had to say, instead walking off towards the ambulance through the crowd of people.
He was panicked beyond belief. His hands hadn’t stopped shaking his he heard that you were down. He was pissed that Emily and you decided to split up while searching around the house, only ending with you being grabbed from behind, pushing you so hard against the wall that when you hit it — you were knocked out.
The minute Emily found you around the other side she was telling everyone over her speaker, Spencer was rushing outside of the house he had been checking with Derek and his feet were moving faster than his brain could compute. His hands were shaking when he came in contact with the unsub, who immediately went for him.
Spencer was unable to help himself, his hands didn’t reach for his gun instead he pushed the man up against the wall, like the unsub previously had done to you — only his fist found their way to the unsubs face, over, and over, and over again until it was nothing more than a bloody mess.
He had little injury from the unsub, he endured a few hits to the face which did nothing more than leave his nose and lip bloody but he couldn’t of cared less about that when all his mind could think about was you.
He was pushed away by Derek, and the unsub taken into custody by Rossi and Emily after Emily had called the paramedics for you. He fought Derek briefly trying to get his hands back on the unsub.
“You could have had a murder charge” derek had said, finally somewhat calming Reid down once the Unsub was taken away. Spencer remembers thinking nothing more than how much he wanted that man dead — he had never really wished that on anyone.
“He should be dead.” Was all Spencer had replied before walking off.
His eyes landed on you, sitting with a blanket over your shoulders in the back of an ambulance, leaning on the side of it with your knees pulled up to your chest, hand held to the back of your head holding what he could only assume was an ice pack.
He called your name as his feet rushed towards you before they stopped right in front of you. You met his eyes and he could’ve swore his heart had shattered into a million different pieces at the sight of tears in your eyes.
“Oh baby” He cooed as his hands hovered slightly over your side. He was scared to touch you, scared to hurt you more than you had already been hurt. His chest was tightening more and more and he found it hard to breathe.
“Im okay” You pushed out, but your voice was contradicting your words as it cracked slightly. You almost lunged towards him letting your head bury itself in his chest, arms wrapping themselves around his waist. He took it as an okay to touch you, his arms immediately wrapping around you as he stood in-between your legs.
“Im sorry” He whispered, hand running up to your hair to smooth it out gently, hands careful over the bloody spot in your hair. You shook your head but stopped as it only sent a throbbing sensation throughout it. You pulled your head away and Spencer moved to sit beside you.
“You don’t have to apologise” You said softly, hand coming up to wipe a tear from your cheek. Spencer’s hand stayed on your back. “Im okay. Really.” You reassured.
“I should’ve been there, someone should’ve been there.” He said, shaking his head. He was holding back the urge to scold the stupidity it took to separate yourself and Emily in a situation but he knew deep down you were just doing what he thought was right — and he could hardly think about that when you were sitting here with that look in your eye.
“Wh- What the hell” you muttered as you looked over his face. For some reason the state of him didn’t register when you first saw him, maybe it was because of the tears blurring your vision or maybe the fact you were just in relief that he was there, but now you did as your entire chest fell.
“Im sorry” He apologised again. “I was so— I was so angry, I was scared” He said, He watches the way your face falls into something he can only explain as panic and guilt. He hated the way you looked guilty.
“Spence..” You sighed, grabbing ahold of his hand gently, thumb rubbing back and forth of his soft skin. He relished in your touch. His eyes closed as he tried to neglect the burning sensation in the back of his throat and bridge of his nose that came as a warning sign for the tears brewing in the back of his eyes.
“I wanted to kill him” Spencer said, his voice cracking as the lump grew in his throat. He despised the way it gave him away. He didn’t want to be in this position — he was supposed to be the one comforting you, not the other way around.
“That would only get you in trouble baby” You said gently. The headache subsided slightly as your head filled with nothing more than Spencer. An unfamiliar feeling filled your stomach as it dawned on you that Spencer would quite literally kill for you.
“He hurt you” Was the best Spencer could muster up. And to him it was enough of a reason.
An unfamiliar feeling filled your stomach as it dawned on you that Spencer would quite literally kill for you. Your hand tightened around his as you turned your body to face him more. Your hand leaving his to cup his face in your hands.
A frown tugged on your lips and Spencer groaned at the way tears ran down his cheeks. He tried to pull his face away from your hands in-order to hide it in his own, but yours stayed around his face.
“Oh baby.” Spencer’s chest tightened as your thumb dragged the softest against his cheeks wiping away stray tears. “It’s apart of the job baby. We both know that, theres always a risk of us getting hurt. But I’m right here yeah? Im okay.” You cooed gently.
It dawned on him in that moment at your words. Of course before he knew there was a risk — he was well aware of that but now he completely understood it. He understood how much he needed you, how much he would do for you.
He realised there was no life for him without you in it.
He said your name, his tone clear, you raised your eyebrow with a quick nod. You repeated his name but his mind was elsewhere unable to process it as he stared at your face.
Perfect or not. There wasn’t ever gonna be a moment where he felt like he needed to do this more. He needed to be your husband. He needed the future with you. He needed this and he needed this now.
“Marry me.” He said, it wasn’t how he wanted it to come out but his lips worked faster than his mind. He watched your eyes widen, your brows furrow in confusion as your lips parted before shutting again.
“W-What?” You muttered.
“Marry me.” He repeated, “Please. I don’t want to spend another day wondering if we will get a future together. I don’t ever want to endure this again without you being my wife. I want everyday with you, I want the arguments and the bad days, I want the long nights and the kids. I want you, today, tomorrow and every day after that. I want to marry you, I want to be your husband” He ranted.
Your eyes widened as he rambled on as tears rushed all the way back in your eyes from where they had subsided.
“I can’t lose you. I am so in love with you, it hurts. It hurts so please—“ He sighed, “Marry me.”
You were at a loss for words and Spencer almost expected that. This wasn’t how he wanted to do it, but he didn’t think he could go another day without asking you.
“Im sorry, I know this is probably the worse time possible” His fingers tugged at the box in his pocket, pulling it out. He used his other hand to open it. Your eyes fell from his onto the ring sitting inside the black velvet box. It was gorgeous. Absolutely stunning and so you.
“I wanted it to be perfect, I have been waiting but I cant w-”
“Yes.” You said, cutting him off as you pulled your eyes away from the ring back to his face. “God- Yes- Spencer” Your voice was quiet and breathy.
His eyes widened. “Wh- really?” He almost expected you to shut him down.
“Are you stupid?” He knew it wasn’t serious because everyone knew Spencer Reid was a lot of things — but he was not stupid.
“Of course I will marry you!” You lunged towards him, pressing your lips against his. Unable to even care about the headache beating against the back of your skull as all you could feel was him.
He smiled into the kiss, deepening it as his hands tugged against your waist, pulling you in closer to him. He pulled away for a moment to take the ring out of the box, grabbing ahold of your hand he slid the ring on — it fit perfectly.
“Are you okay?” He asked, gaze returning to your face as he remembered you were infact still injured.
You beamed at him, “Im happy. Spence Im really happy” You said, unable to focus on anything else.
Spencer smiled back. “I love you”
#criminal minds#criminal minds show#criminal minds x reader#criminalmindsfans#spencer criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds one shot#wattpad#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid angst#spencer reid smut#spencer reid criminal minds#dr spencer reid x you#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x you#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid hcs#spencer reid au
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They unknowingly bring up an insecurity Seungmin|Pt1
Pt2 Pt3
Your heart was strung in your throat. Seungmin was always one to tease; and for the most part he was good about shying away from topics you were sensitive about so no problems had ever arisen. But as you read over his texts over and over again you felt your heart pinch in a way that was all to similar to what you had felt in your previous relationship.
"You talk too much, you know that?" Your ex had told you that numerous times, and eventually it led to a break up. And your constant yapping became something that made you insecure.
But when you first met Seungmin you felt like you were perfect the way you were. Chan had said you would balance Seungmin out quite well. And up until now you felt as if that were the case.
Now you wondered if maybe you did become to much.
Maybe the constant chatter had become annoying to the quiet boy you loved dearly.
And while you had been in love numerous times before, it hurt more to even think of losing Seungmin than all your previous heart breaks combined. And that was a lot considering you had always been the one to have your heart broken.
You couldn't tear yourself away from your phone screen - rereading those texts and overanalyizing the tone.
Maybe it was in a light hearted way? Or maybe it was the complete opposite and it was fully aggression?
You sat there trying to pick apart every single meaning, connotation, and tone the words he sent could have when your phone dimed again.
"I'm guessing your busy shopping since my phone has been quite for more than fifteen minutes. Haha, I think that's a first!"
You did everything in your power to try and bite back the knot in your throat from coming up and causing tears. So much so your eyes started to burn and you ended up shedding a few quietly.
The rest of the day you busied yourself with miniscule little tasks like dusting the fans and sweeping the welcome mat that you intended to take along with you when you moved in with Seungmin.
You tried to take your mind off of the texts. You figured Seungmin didn’t mean it in anyway malicious sort of way. In fact you knew he meant it as a lighthearted joke. In the time you had spent with him you had easily learned just how kind and loving of a person he was, and how much he cared for you.
You just couldn’t shake the hurt from those words - and more importantly the fear you had deep down that there was some truth to the words he had sent.
By the time Seungmin arrived at your apartment it was early evening. Every Wednesday you guys would cook together ever since you witnessed him and Felix blowing food up by accident on a live. Seungmin followed the normal routine of slipping off his shoes and into his house slippers and immediately changing into a cheap shirt he had bought when you first had started your endeavors since he was smart enough to realize he was a messy cook.
“Hey baby.” He said as he greeted you with a quick hug from behind and a chaste kiss to the cheek before he went to wash his hands.
You have a small noise of acknowledgement as Seungmin dried his hands off on a plaid towel and turned to you with happy anticipation.
“What are we cooking today?”
“Spaghetti and meatballs.” You replied as you started to grab the necessary ingredients. Seungmin followed you around like a happy puppy and helped you a carry everything to the counter you reserved for preparation of ingredients.
“So how do we start?” Seungmin asked. By now he had noticed your face was a little droopy and your responses were short and if there was any conversation it was only in answer to his initiation.
“With the ground beef.” You said as you pulled out a big bowl to put the meat and seasonings in. Seungmin watched you from his peripheral as you poured in some panco bread crumbs and a bunch of other various aromatic seasonings while he opened up the meat packaging.
As he kneeled everything with his hands he tried asking you about your day.
“So did you end up ordering the mugs baby?”
“No, I didn’t.” Silence.
“Oh…maybe after dinner we can look on Etsy together? Or maybe find a website to customize them? It might seem like a lot but I think the guys would really appreciate your sentiment.”
“Yeah, we can do that.” Silence.
Seungmin started to roll out oddly and unevenly shaped meatballs and continued to try and ask you questions as you guys worked, but your answers we short. Not rude. But literally short.
Not thouroghly explained like usual.
Even at dinner you were quiet and barely even touched your food.
“Do you not feel good baby?” Seungmin asked you as you played with a piece of garlic bread.
“I feel okay…maybe a little tired.” You said popping the piece into your mouth as if to show you were feeling fine.
Seungmin sighed and put his fork down.
“Did my text hurt your feelings?” He had been worrying about it all day when he had seen you had left him on read. It was an odd thing but nevertheless endearing when you would finish a conversation over text and send a meme to him just to acknowledge the end of the conversation, and to make sure he “didn’t find it hurtful” that you had left him on read. Even if he constantly assured you it was in no way shape or form a problem.
You hadn’t sent him a meme. And the more he thought about it he realized that his humor might not have translated through text.
“Im sorry if I hurt your feelings. It was a joke, Y/N. I would never purposefully want to hurt you. I love when you share about your day. I was a bit tied up so while you texting me might have been inconvienent at the moment doesnt mean I don’t appreciate you wanting me to know everything about what you are doing. I love that you want me to be a part of your life , even the tiny thing.”
“It’s okay babe.” You replied putting a smile on your face. “I know you didn’t mean it to hurt me. I’m just tired that’s all.” You let out a breath as you stood up and collected Seungmin’s plate. “Maybe we can just watch a movie instead of shopping? I just don’t feel like thinking very much right now in any capacity…” You let out quietly.
“Of course.” Seungmin responded, trailing you into the kitchen as you set the plates in the sink. “I love you.” He said quietly, his voice lilting up slightly. Were you actually okay?
“I love you too Minmin.” You place a a small kiss next to his eye and head towards the living room.
During the movie Seungmin kept stealing glances at you as you leaned on him but not into him. As you laughed but the curve of your mouth didn’t exactly reach your eyes. And how those same eyes were focused on the screen but your mind was obviously some place else.
Although you had said you were fine your silence gave him the answer you actually wanted to give. That Seungmin had struck a nerve more sensitive than he had known.
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bring that over here , BILLIE E.
summary: when billie sees you come out of the shower, she can't hold back her crush on you anymore.
pairing: bsf!billie eilish × bsf!fem!reader
warnings/topics: smut, dom!billie, sub!reader, fingering, praise, begging, pet names(mamas, baby, good girl, pretty girl, etc.), oral, restraints, blindfolds, etc.
a/n: first billie one-shot, gimme ur thoughts🙏
wc: 2.6k
"call me back when you get here," billie said, finger tapping on the back of her phone as she looked up at the ceiling of her living room.
"i will, see you in a little, bills." you replied, smiling even if she couldn't see.
before you could hang up, billie's voice came through your phone again, and you put the device back up to your ear.
"wait, wait! i forgot to tell you that i got you somethin'." the girl spoke, sitting up straight on the couch before resting her feet on the coffee table.
your eyebrow raised, and you laughed nervously, "what? you really didn't have to, i'm just sleeping over for a few days. did i do something?"
billie smirked, "nope, just wanted to get you something. you work so hard and barely ever treat yourself, y/n."
your cheeks flushed, eyes flicking between your floor and the kitchen counter, "thank you."
"no problem, mamas." your smile faded at the nickname, face turning redder by the second.
it wasn't like that was the first time she's called you by that name. it was just that it had such an effect on you, and you had no idea why.
"see you later," billie muttered before she hung up.
the doorbell rang, and billie quickly got off the couch and went over to the front door. she smiled when the door opened, revealing you.
"hey," the black-haired girl said, leaning down to give you a hug before moving to the side to let you in.
"i missed you," you replied, looking back at her, placing your backpack beside the couch before sitting down.
billie hummed, lockint the door before walking over to the couch and taking a seat next to you, "i missed you, too."
"and that's why i got you this," the girl exclaimed, grabbing a white box from off the coffee table and giving it to you.
your smile widened as you grabbed the box, carefully opening it and revealing a necklace that had your initial on it, "oh my god, thank you so much, bills!"
she nodded, smile wide, "of course, y/n,"
"lemme help you put it on?" billie asked, reaching out for the necklace in which you gave it to her.
you turned your back to her, and billie gently moved your hair over to one of your shoulders, her cold touch making you shiver slightly.
billie bit her lip, noticing how soft and clear your neck was. she just wanted to mark your skin, make you hers.
she carefully clipped the necklace together, before scooting back as you turned to look over at her again.
"it looks great on you, mamas," she complimented, eyes traveling further down your body, going unnoticed by you.
your cheeks flushed again, looking down at the floor, nervous as you felt her gaze on you.
"thank you," you muttered, a small smile on your face.
"billie!" you called, and the girls head quickly went up from her phone as she got on her feet.
"yeah?" she yelled back, tucking her phone into her back pocket and making her way over to the hallway to hear you better.
"could you get my towel? i forgot it when i got in here. it's on your desk chair." billie hummed in response before making her way up the stairs to her room.
after she made her way back down, she knocked, towel hanging over her forearm as she waited for you to crack the door open.
you opened the door slightly, leaving the smallest space so billie could slip the towel through, and as the black-haired girl looked up, she froze.
her face flushed a light pink color, and her tongue peeked out to wet her lips at the sight of your body in the mirror. she could only see the top half of you, but she wasn't complaining.
your tits were on display, and billie couldn't help but stare. sure, she'd seen them whenever you two went to the beach together, but now they weren't covered.
your wet hair was still falling over your shoulders, some strands sticking to the wet skin of your neck. you looked unreal, and billie couldn't help but bite her lip.
"are you there?" your voice had the girl jump slightly before quickly slip the towel through the gap, her eyes moving down to the floor.
the door closed, and she wasted no time in walking back to the living room and sitting down in her spot again.
her phone wouldn't satiate her boredom anymore. she felt like only you could in this moment of time.
billie groaned, throwing her head back against the couch in frustration. she swore you did that on purpose. why else would you open the door that much?
maybe she was overthinking, but then again, you knew she had a crush on you. she didn't even try to hide it, and yet you still didn't care.
i mean, who wouldn't want billie eilish obsessing over them?
the creaking sound of the bathroom door caught billie's attention, her head turning to look over at you.
you stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but your towel wrapped around your body, your now dry hair falling perfectly over your shoulders.
the blush on your best friends face was noticeable from where you stood, now, and you couldn't help but smirk.
your smirk widened as you watched her stand up, making her way over to you with a pout clear on her face.
she stopped in front of you, closer than intended, before she spoke.
"what game are you trying to play, y/n?" billie asked quietly, tilting her head to the side.
your eyes stayed on hers, arms crossed over the front of your chest to hold up your towel, "i don't know what you're talking about."
her lips upturned into a small smile, taking a step closer to your half-naked body. you could feel her breath on your lips.
billie's eyes went down to your lips, her breathing shaky from how close your two bodies were.
her hands stayed at her sides, not wanting to be the first one to give in, "oh, i think you do,"
"you're teasing me, trying to get me to break," she muttered, tongue peeking out to lick her lips again, "just tell me what you want, y/n."
your eyes moved to her lips, staying there for a while before your eyes found hers again.
exhaling shakily, you grabbed the collar of her shirt, pulling her body flush against yours, "i want you, billie."
she opened her mouth in a silent gasp, shock flashing over her features before she finally leaned down to kiss you.
you smiled into the kiss, feeling her hands on your waist through the fabric of your towel. billie sighed, running her tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entrance.
your lips parted, and the black-haired girl quickly dipped her tongue between your lips, exploring your mouth and whining.
she was the first to pull away, chest heaving up and down from breathlessness as she stared at you with lust-blown pupils.
"you're so fuckin' hot." the girl confessed, knees almost giving out just from the way you looked at her.
"and you're by far the best kisser i've ever met." you whispered, looking up at her.
she nodded with a smirk on her face, "yeah?"
you hummed in approval, grip on her collar loosening, "go upstairs, i'll be there in a minute."
the black-haired girl didn't think twice, following your orders as she quickly made it over and up the stairs to her bedroom.
she grabbed a hair tie from her desk, putting up her hair before sitting on the desk chair, waiting impatiently for you to come through the door.
billie bounced her leg as she heard the stairs creak, eyes fixated on her halfway open bedroom door.
she gasped quietly as she watched you open the door, your naked body on full display for her to see. her face flushed red, getting out of the chair and walking over to you.
her hand landed on your bare waist, and you shivered once again at her cold hands. her free hand went to close and lock the door before she pushed you against it.
her clothed body was flush against yours, and the feeling of the fabric of your bestfriends shirt rubbing against your chest made your nipples harden.
a whimper escaped your throat, lips parting slightly as you stared up at billie, "need you,"
the girl almost groaned at your confession, instead inhaling sharply before going to tease you, "how bad, baby?"
"s'fucking bad, bills.." you whined, hands going up to tug at her collared shirt.
her hand landed on yours, stopping your movements as she gripped your hand harshly. she finally got to touch you after all the time she's waited.
"well, you can wait a little longer, yeah? go sit on my chair for me." billie demanded softly, stepping back to let you walk over and sit.
she bit her lip, walking over and kneeling in front of where you sat, "so pretty, baby."
you sighed impatiently, moving to spread your legs and show your wetness to your best friend, "please."
the black-haired girls breath hitched, her pupils almost completely covering the light blue irises of her eyes.
"fuck—just, wait, stay here." billie exhaled, getting off her knees to go to her closet.
you listened to her, waiting on the chair for her return. when she did come back, you felt her presence behind you.
"put your hands behind the chair, y/n," she muttered softly, and you obeyed her, moving your hands so that they were resting behind you.
you felt the girl tie your hands together with a soft ribbon, and your eyes rolled back just at the thought of being restrained whole she touched you.
her hands left yours, and then she came into view again, walking back in front of you and getting on her knees.
she didn't even ask this time, knowing what your answer would be just by staring into your eyes before pulling your legs apart and tying each of them to either leg of the chair.
the ribbon was blue, of course, that was one of the colors she was obsessing over currently. she had blue everything, and fuck, even her shirt was a light blue.
there was still one last piece of fabric in her hands, and when she went to move behind you again, you knew what it was for.
"is this okay, y/n..?" she whispered, her breath on your ear turning you on even more.
you nodded frantically as if it was the last time you'd ever get to do this, and billie chuckled quietly before beginning to put it around your head.
your vision was completely black now, and you squirmed around in the chair out of excitement and nervousness.
"made me wait so fuckin' long.." you heard the girl grumble before you felt cold hands on your thighs.
"i should make you wait longer.." a pout showed on your lips, and you threw your head back softly with a whine, "but i'm nicer than that, and i want to taste you s'bad."
billie went silent, and you would've thought she left the room if it wasn't for the feeling of her breath on your chest and her weight on your lap.
you gasped as you felt her lips wrap around your nipple, her tongue swirling around the hardened bud.
her hand went to your other breast, toying with your nipple as she worked the other with her mouth.
the girl groaned as she continued her movements, her mouth moving higher up your chest and leaving a trail of purple-ish marks up to your neck.
she could mark you now, she could let everyone know that you were hers now. billie sucked on the pulse point of your neck, making you squirm even more at the pleasure.
"fuck, fuck, fuck. feels s'good, baby," you moaned quietly, hands straining against the ribbon around your wrists.
as she continued the bites on your neck, you groaned impatiently, hips bucking up in an attempt for some sort of friction.
"please, baby, i need you. need you t'fuck me so good.." you begged, and billie whined at the wetness pooling in her panties at your noises.
the girl got off your lap, quickly dropping to her knees for the third time that night. this time, you felt her lips on your thighs, trailing kissing upwards and toward the place you wanted her the most.
your hips bucked up again, and this time billie pushed you down, her grip surely leaving marks. your lips upturned into a smirk as you let your best friend control your movements.
you'd never been in a situation like this ever, and billie being one doing this to you made it all the more pleasurable.
"shit," you gasped, feeling the girls tongue run along your clit and then your entrance.
she dipped her tongue into you slightly before pulling back and repeating her motions.
after a few minutes of her torture, you heard the girl huff and then felt 2 of her fingers slip inside of your entrance.
"fuck!—billie, oh m'god," whines and whimpers fell from your lips, and you swore your wrists were white with how hard you were tugging on the ribbon.
the black-haired girl smirked as she watched you squirm, your chest rising and falling quickly, "doin' so good, pretty girl."
her fingers curled as soon as she was knuckles deep inside of you, making you let out a pornographic moan at the feeling.
she chuckled as she continued fucking you with her fingers, leaning down to wrap her lips around clit and suck harshly on the swollen bud.
billie was sure she would get noise complaints sometime tonight or tomorrow morning, but she didn't care. all she cared about was getting you off right now.
"m'gonna cum!—please, please, please lemme cum, bills..!" you begged, the rest of your sentence coming out as incoherent babbles.
she smiled around your clit, her fingers speeding up and ignoring the ache in her wrist.
her lips left your clit, and she licked them, groaning audibly at your taste, "cum for me, mamas, c'mon,"
just from her words, you came with an especially loud moan, eyes feeling like they would roll to the back of your head from the pleasure.
"s'good, such a good girl for me, baby." the girl praised, eyes fixated on the way your chest rose and fell with each breath you took.
as you came down, billie carefully pulled her fingers out of you, moving to stand up, "open."
you listened to the girl, opening your mouth and feeling her fingers rest on your tongue. you quickly lapped at them, licking then clean of your juices before she pulled her hand back.
billie took off the blindfold and restraints before helping you onto the edge of her bed to sit again.
"how was that, mamas?" she asked softly, stroking your cheek with her thumb as you rested on her clothed chest.
you only nodded, feeling incapable of speaking after the high you just came down from.
she smiled, laughing softly before kissing your head.
"so, i don't know if you know, but i'm interested in more than just bring your friend, y/n." she teased, and you laughed.
"actually shut the fuck up," you playfully nudged her shoulder before pulling her in again.
a few moments of silence, and then you spoke again, "i'm also interested in being more than just your friend, bills."
tags: @cindylcuwho @livialifesblog
#Spotify#billie eilish smut#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish icons#hit me hard and soft#hmhas#wwafawdwg#when we all fall asleep where do we go#hte#happier than ever#dsam#dont smile at me#billie eilish x y/n#lunch billie eilish
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Off my usual topic, I want to talk about idiopathic hypersomnia for a minute.
I have been tired for YEARS. I sleep and sleep and sleep and I can still fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I have followed alllll the sleep hygeine advice, regular physical activity, giving up caffeine. I went to the doctor and got my iron levels up, started using a CPAP.
I was sleeping 10 hours a night, napping two hours in the afternoon, and I was still exhausted and crabby all. the. time.
I was convinced that this was something I was doing wrong. I wasn’t cut out for motherhood, I wasn’t following the advice correctly, I needed to…I don’t know, something.
I finally asked my doctor for a referral to a sleep specialist. She talked to me at length, but it at one point she looked at my CPAP data and I saw her eyes get huge. “Is this ACCURATE?!” she asked me “You sleep a LOT!”
So. With a hypersomnia diagnosis she got me started on a stimulant medication to help me stay awake during the day. This was two weeks ago and I am MIND BLOWN. I was worried that I might feel…amped up, but I just feel like myself for the first time in years.
I don’t need a nap. I can play with my kid, I can push the swing. I can walk the dog. I CAN GO OUT TO DINNER. My well of patience is so much deeper because I’m not fighting to stay awake after 2pm.
We’re still pursuing more diagnostics, including a 24 hour sleep study to see if I have a form of narcolepsy and some more blood work. But. I feel like I’ve gotten a fresh start.
So please. If you’ve got something weird going on physically or mentally and you KNOW it’s not right, keep pushing for more diagnostics, ask for referrals, get to the bottom of it!
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