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tf-lover · 11 months ago

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Christmas Switch-Up

My gift for @bodyswapmischief based off his prompt for me. Hope you all enjoy, and Merry late Christmas!

~~~

“Jack, get off your fucking ass and help me damn it!” Darren called in through the kitchen door.

His useless son was finally home for Christmas, and Darren had been long hoping the athletic young man would be able to help out around the place with all the long overdue jobs that needed doing. The loft needed emptying of the random junk that’d built up over the years, snow needed clearing from the driveway and the roof, and there was a long list of things that needed repairing among other things. But of course, Jack had been sitting on his ass in his room for days just playing video games and working out in the home gym Darren had put together for him years ago.

“Dad, I told you I’m busy! Do that shit yourself, it’s boring!” Jack shouted back from where Darren already knew he was working out. “Or hire someone to do it for fuck sake, you’re loaded!”

Darren pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He wasn’t going to get mad, he wasn’t. It would help anything, yet all he wanted to do still was scream at his ungrateful son. “If you’re going to be a lazy little shit Jack then I’m going out! I’ll be back in a few hours.” He shouted back at his son as he made his way back inside and through the house. Cooling off was needed, and Darren had other ideas of how he could get what he wanted this Christmas…

~~~

A few hours later…

“You want us to do what, Dad?” Jack asked from his position on the sofa, barely able to believe what his father was suggesting.

Darren shrugged. He’d been out shopping at a particular occult shop he knew of hidden away in the centre of the city for just the thing to get what he needed. Now he had it, swapping with his son was actually possible.

“You heard me. I want to swap bodies with you for the Christmas break.” He said simply.

It was a simple enough suggestion, and it wasn’t like he’d spoken in riddles or anything either. His son was home for Christmas break and with his usual manically busy social calendar wanted nothing more than to spend the two weeks relaxing and doing absolutely nothing. His father had other ideas though, namely the jobs around the house that needed doing. Repairs that needed to be made; furniture that needed to be moved; all things that became infinitely easier with his jock of a son around to help. Darren was past his prime, having gained more weight than he would have liked thanks to an injury that stopped him working out as much as he used to, and his advancing age.

“But that’s not even possible Dad?! And even if it was, why would I want to do that?” Jack continued to protest. “I don’t want to be you, no offence but I’ve worked too hard to suddenly get older and fatter!”

“Well it’s that or you get up off your ass and help me with the jobs that need doing, I’ve told you that already. You know I can’t do them on my own, so if you’re staying here for Christmas instead of with your friends then I expect you to at least help a little.” Darren folded his arms and frowned at his son. “Or, you can laze around in my body as much as you want to, and I’ll use yours to do everything that needs doing around here. Won’t make a difference to you if all you’re doing is sitting around watching TV and jerking off, maybe you can even do me a favour and get me in better shape.”

“DAD!!” Jack blushed furiously at being called out by his father of all people. They were both men at the end of the day, but that just made it more embarrassing at his father’s willingness to call him out. “You really… Eugh.”

Darren reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a pair of identical rings, then tossed one at his son. “Put that on and we’ll swap for the holiday or get off your ass, it’s that simple.”

Jack caught the ring with one hand then frowned at it. He barely understood what his Dad was going on about with all this talk of being in his body. His Dad came out with some strange things at the best of times, but this was the strangest of all of them. Still, if it was a choice between proving his dad was talking shit again and not doing that, Jack knew what he’d pick. His old man was just trying to scare him into not being lazy, that was all.

The second Jack slipped the ring on, his head felt fuzzy. There was nothing else though, no sudden swap or anything like that. Because of course there wasn’t, Jack knew it was all bullshit.

“Ha, how about that? Lying after all Dad, what h-”

The world lurched around Jack as his father put the other ring on. One minute he was sitting on the sofa, the next he was across the room looking back at his own smirking face. Everything felt wrong, felt heavy and hairy in all the wrong places. Worn out when he’d always felt full of energy usually.

“Got something to say now Jack?” He heard his own body saying. “Or, maybe I should be calling you Dad now for the holidays, since we wouldn’t want anyone to know anything is amiss.”

Jack’s mouth hung open in shock. He’d really done it, his asshole of a father had actually stolen his body! “What?? What the actual fuck??” Jack looked down at the slightly chubby body of his father he now resided in. “No. No way you can do this to me Dad, I can’t be you!”

Darren stood up in his son’s younger body, feeling better than he had in 20 years. “I can and I did. I told you what would happen if you put the ring on, and it happened. Now they won’t come off until the holiday is up, so have fun being a lazy shit in my body Dad, I’m going to finally sort the house out.”

All Jack could do was stand and watch his own body saunter off past him into the kitchen. A few sounds echoed out from there as he tried to process all of this and how tired he felt all of a sudden, the clink of metal making him think his dad was probably grabbing the tool he kept under the sink. He even tried to pull the ring off, but sure as his father had said it wasn’t going to budge. He was really stuck as some fat, hairy old guy!

Meanwhile, as Jack tried to come to terms with what had happened, his father in his body was off already starting work. Already he had the motivation from his now young, fit body to get on with things, which was quite the change to his usual feelings. Many years ago a serious sporting injury had knocked him out for a while and taken him off the competitive athlete path; whilst that had led him into a very lucrative career otherwise he still regretted how he’d fallen off the sporting wagon. Now he was both young and fit again he felt wonderful, reminded of what he’d lost.

~~~

The next few days consisted of a lot of hard work from Darren. Amed with his son’s body, he surprised himself with how fast he got everything done. He had originally expected it to take days and days, hence setting the duration to the whole holiday. Yet, after only a few days he had pretty much everything on his very long list done. Snow was cleared, the living room had been completely rearranged, as had the attic. Repairs had been made that’d been needing done for longer than he liked, and he’d even cleaned a few things he hadn’t realised needed it.

All that left him with far more time on his hands than he’d originally planned. Days and days left when he thought he wouldn’t have any time free. So, much to his son’s annoyance Darren decided to go out.

“See you later Dad! I’m going out for a bit, I won’t be late back!” He called before he ran out the door and left his son alone.

Jack wanted to punch his Dad as he heard him leave, and he would’ve if it wasn’t for it being his own body. All these past few days his father had been flaunting his body as he did all the work around the house. Dressed in almost nothing so he didn’t get his son’s clothes dirty or so he claimed, reminding Jack every second the swap he’d accidentally gone through. And now he had the nerve to go out and flaunt Jack’s body as if it were his own, even still insisting on calling him Dad.

Jack hadn’t been slacking though. Far from it. He was determined to prove his old man wrong and make the best of all this, so he’d taken to working out like crazy. Pushing himself as hard as he could to prove it wasn’t the body that kept his father back, but his attitude. He’d made good progress too, surprising even himself. He’d lifted heavier and for longer than he could in his own body, and all it’d taken was pushing through the struggle and pain at the beginning.

The once nice thing about the swap was Jack could finally eat whatever he wanted without caring. It wasn't his body and his Dad had long let himself go, so besides working out hard to prove anyone could do it, Jack let himself indulge in some of the things he didn't usually eat. A strict diet kept his body in perfect shape, but since his dad’s shape was already rounder with fat than it was muscle, what was the harm? And, he had to admit that the maturity was nice. The few occasions he did have to go out to deal with something at his Dad’s job or go grocery shopping, no one treated him like some annoying delinquent kid. He wasn’t seen as a youth around to cause trouble, he was a respected member of the community.

He did get curious as the week went on though. He’d given up removing the ring, it was clear enough that was never going to happen, but he did wonder where his father had got them from. He knew his Dad had connections in his fancy business world, he’d dealt with a few of them on his Dad’s behalf these last few days, but he didn’t know where he’d actually found magical rings capable of forcing them into each other’s bodies.

So, instead of spending every waking moment shouting at his father running around partying in his body, Jack did some digging. His son was out of the house enough sleeping his way through the city in the run up to Christmas, so he had plenty of time to search online for any sign of where something like this could be acquired.

At first, nothing.

No amount of searching high or low online turned up any results about magical body swapping rings you could buy; a few erotic stories but nothing real.

So he changed tactics.

He remembered the day his father had come back home with the rings after an argument, so he tried to retrace his dad’s steps. Checked his phone, asked people his dad was friends with, anything. And there he had it. Tucked away in his dad’s apps, the last saved location his dad must have used for directions to wherever he got them from. And it was local. Within the city, right in the centre tucked away between two massive office buildings. It would have been easy for his father to slip out to the place and be back within a few hours, all under the pretence of getting coffee with this friend of his and talking business like he’d claimed before he left.

All Jack had to do now was go back there for answers.

~~~

The next day…

Darren was once again on his way out. He’d loved the past week in this younger body, and with all the free time had already got a few regular hookups from his first few days clubbing. Now he was off again to find another one; this younger body was deliciously insatiable and far better than his older one.

“Son, can I borrow you for a minute before you go? Just something I want to check with you.” His old body’s voice came from behind him just as he’d been about to leave.

He sighed. He was glad at least Jack had taken this so well in the last few days instead of being angry. Even joined in on Darren’s plan to refer to each other as father and son on the off chance they had guests over or went out anywhere together so they didn’t slip. As much as he was eager to get going and find someone else to fuck, he could at least have a five minute chat. Besides, if it was yet another question about his job he’d need to answer it.

He turned and smiled at his son in his old body, one he wasn’t finding himself missing in the slightest. “What is it Dad?”

Jack returned the smile, but it wasn’t a kind one. “You see, I went back to that little shop you bought these rings from.”

Darren’s eyes widened in panic knowing his son had found the place, which just made Jack smirk.

“Left the location in your google maps, didn’t think I’d look and see? Anyway, I went back there. Had a lovely chat with the old woman behind the counter, who told me all about these rings. And you know what she said? Swapping bodies is just a side effect of their main purpose. They can do far, far more than that.”

Darren went white as a sheet. He’d been galavanting off flaunting his new body and living it up, all without a care for how he’d stolen his son’s body and was rubbing it in. Now that brashness was coming back to bite him in the ass. Only, he had no idea how badly. He hadn’t bothered to ask about them or even pay the shopkeeper much attention, just dropped a large sum of money for two rings that would do the job he wanted. Now, as he’d been on the way to yet another random hookup, he’d been cornered.

“What… What can they do?” He gulped.

Jack smirked. “Why don’t I show you instead of explaining it? I’ll warn you though, you’ll have to cancel your hookup…”“W-Wait, you don’t have t-” Darren started, but it was too late. Jack had already done something to his ring that made the matching one on his finger burn hot.

Darren looked up from his finger, only to watch in horror as his own fat body seemed to shed the weight it’s carried in seconds. The body he’d rid himself off by swapping with his son, the one he’d been secretly hoping he’d never have to be back in, starting to change before his very eyes. Gone was the round belly, gone were the flabby arms and sagging chest. Gone even were some of the greying hairs in his beard and the more worn lines of age that’d developed.

Instead, a beast of a man was emerging.

Ripped all over, the kind of muscle you only got from a lifetime of dedication. It was the type of body his son Jack would have grown into when he reached Darren’s age if he kept up the same gym routine and they hadn’t been all swapped around. It was no less old either, instead looked like an older man that actually knew how to take care of himself. Ate right, took care of his skin, kept his hair and beard well groomed. What made him look even bigger though Darren realised was just how close they’d got and-

“Wait, when did I get over here??” Darren said when he found himself standing in front of his old body, their ringed hands clasped together.

Jack pulled a cheeky looking innocent expression. He knew exactly what was going on, but he wasn’t going to say. The pair were merging together, the younger body that had once belonged to Jack being consumed to mould the older one into its perfect potential state. Soon enough there would only be one person living in this house, one perfectly handsome older man instead of a fat old guy and his son.

Instead of letting any of that on though, Jack watched as his father’s panic only grew. He tried to pull away, but that only brought the pair closer and closer together. Jack’s older body was becoming a far more muscular and ruggedly handsome version of what it had once been; its potential finally unlocked. Jack wouldn’t miss his old body, not in the long run, it’d be gone and his father with it to make all these improvements, but it was so worth it.

Darren found himself getting closer and closer as his son’s body towered over him more and more, all until he felt himself slip away completely. He hadn’t noticed his body fading and shrinking in his panic watching his old body change, and now he had it was far too late. Because he didn’t have a body anymore he realised. Somehow in the shuffle his body had vanished, yet he could still hear and see and feel the sight of Jack’s older body as if he’d been kneeling in front of it.

“Alright in there Dad?” Jack’s voice came from somewhere above before Darren felt an entire hand wrapping around his being. “You can’t talk, I know, so you’ll have to sit in my balls and listen to me, alright?”

“You see Dad, I’ve learned a thing or two since being forced into your body.” Jack said from his new mature, ripped body as he ran his hands over it. “I’ve learned that being a slightly older man isn’t so bad, especially when it’s one that comes with so much money. I’ve learned that you were an asshole for stealing my body from me and trying to pass it off as your own, so I’m doing one better.” He gave his large balls a squeeze, knowing what remained of his father’s consciousness was stored away in there. “So I’m taking your life with a few upgrades. You never had a kid you got stuck with, not as far as this new you is concerned. I’m a single bachelor, a Daddy that’s going to have boys and girls alike falling at his feet.”

Jack glanced down at the interlinked rings on his finger. Two halves of a whole, he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before. He grabbed it, took a breath, then pulled them both off and dropped it on the coffee table with a soft clatter of metal against glass.

“Maybe I’ll have a kid one day when I feel like settling down Dad, but until then you can watch me show you what your life could have been.” Jack, now officially his father Darren, grinned. He was going to make the absolute most of his new life as Darren.

#my writing #male transformation #body swap #age progression #father and son #merging #daddy #tfstoryexchange

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mountainficss · 5 months ago

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hello rae how are you i hope your day is going well🥺🥺

you probably saw the cheol’s videos from rimowa event, he was very impressive and charming🥲 seventeen posted a video on ig and the part where he holds a champagne glass in his hand 🫠

he gives the ex vibe watching his ex girlfriend from afar. it was like they had been separated for a while, it would be exciting to imagine that when he saw that she was dancing with another man in a club, he couldn't stand it and he grab her by the hand, pull her out of there and the two have a hard time resisting each other…can’t imagine that sexual tension😩

(english is not my first language sorry😘💞🥺)

!! mentions of: drinking, jealousy, slight angst, oral sex, unprotected sex, semi-public sex

hi there, my love! my days have been going well, i hope you are doing great <3 i actually haven’t seen the videos, but i can totally imagine the ex boyfriend vibe. it’s so seungcheol.

he’d be seated at the bar, watching you with envy as you dance with another man. he was gripping his champagne glass so hard he was sure it would shatter beneath his fingertips. you two had broken up a few weeks ago, but seungcheol had never truly let you go. he thinks about you almost daily, but his pride gets in the way of reaching out to you and trying to repair what you had. even though he hasn’t spoken to you, seeing you with another man would cause jealousy to bubble in his stomach. he wondered if you had moved on, and the thought almost tore him apart. he needed you, needed you like he needed to breathe. he knew no other man could love you like he did, could give you what you needed. he knew he could truly make you happy, and that caused him to set aside his pride and shoot up from his seat at the bar. he’d slam his glass down, dodging all of the sweaty bodies on the dance floor and making his way towards you. your eyes would widen as you see him standing in front of you, and you’d feel his hand grab yours, wordlessly yanking you away from your dance partner. “seungcheol?” you’d fume over the booming music, the loud sounds of the club becoming faint as he drags you towards the exit. he doesn’t answer, and you don’t fight him, just let yourself be dragged along as he throws open the door and pulls you outside with him. the night air is cool, and it creates goosebumps on your exposed arms. “what do you want?” you’d bite at him, scanning his face for any hint of emotions. his expression was cold, but his eyes softened as he studied your face. you were still the prettiest thing he’d ever seen, even with your face twisted into such a displeased look. and you were wearing his favorite dress too, your silky short one that hugged all the right places. he was a fool to ever let you go. “he was sketchy. i didn’t want you around him,” seungcheol would answer simply, watching as you roll your eyes at him. “it was a dance, cheol. i don’t know what the big fucking deal is. i was having fun,” you’d retort, crossing your arms over your chest defiantly. “you can dance with me next time,” he’d mumble quietly, receiving a loud scoff from you. “you’re unbelievable.” you’d scowl, ripping your gaze from him and staring at the concrete below your heels. as much as you want to stay mad at him, you do miss him. it’s not something you’d like to admit, but you would rather be dancing with seungcheol. “i’m sorry,” he’d apologize gently, his eyes never once leaving your face. you didn’t answer, still focused on kicking at the pebble beneath your heel. the pout adorning your lips was adorable to him, but he did feel a slight guilt knowing he upset you. “can i take you home?” he’d question cautiously, knowing you were still a bit irritated with him. he was expecting you to decline, but a part of him hoped that you would let him. this would give him an opportunity to make things right with you, and he’s not sure if he’ll get another chance again. “fine,” you’d huff, arms still crossed around your chest as you lift your gaze from the ground. you wouldn’t look at seungcheol, would just stare in the direction of the parking lot and wait for him to lead the way. “let’s go.”

he’d offer you his arm to grab, and you’d reluctantly take it after a few beats of hesitation. you wanted to ignore him, but your heels were starting to hurt your feet and you missed the feeling of clinging to his arm (even though you won’t admit it). once he guides you to his car, he’d open the passenger side for you and help you settle in. you’d cross your arms over your chest again, pouting cutely in his front seat as he closes the door for you. everything you do is so endearing to him, even when you’re trying so hard to stay mad at him. he’d sit down into the driver’s seat and start the car, backing out of the parking lot in silence. after a few minutes on the road he’d glance over at you, head turned towards the window and watching the blur of buildings pass by. “i’m sorry,” seungcheol would start softly, finally building up the courage to break the suffocating silence. “for everything. i’m sorry we didn’t work out. i’m sorry i didn’t try harder to fix us.” he’d inhale deeply, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter. “and i’m sorry i ruined your dance. i know you were enjoying yourself, and i’m sure you’ve moved on by now. i can admit that i haven’t though, so seeing you with someone else made me jealous.” he’d see you slightly crane your head towards him out of his peripheral, and he’d swallow nervously. “you mean so much to me. i never really stopped loving you, and i wish i didn’t let so many weeks pass before i told you all of this. i’m so sorry our relationship turned out the way it did, and i don’t want you to think i ever stopped thinking about you even after we broke up.” by the end of his confession, he had pulled up to your driveway and switched his car to park. he’d unbuckle his seatbelt, turning towards you and shooting you a sad smile. “thank you for letting me get this off my chest. i’ll walk you inside, okay?” he’d turn away from you to reach for his door handle, but before he can grab it you’re fisting his shirt and pulling him in for a heated kiss over the console. his body would freeze with shock, but would soon snap out of it and kiss you back eagerly. he’d bring a hand up to carefully cup your face, tilting his head so he can kiss you deeper. you’d both only pull away to gasp for air, and in between breaths you’d answer him. “i’m sorry too, cheollie,” you’d whisper against his lips, receiving a peck from him. “if it makes you feel better,” you’d continue, undoing the buttons of his shirt lazily. “i never really stopped loving you either.” hearing you say those words would make him go feral, smashing his lips against yours once again with a newfound fervor. his free hand would travel to your chest, groping and squeezing over the fabric as you whine into his mouth. “missed this,” he’d growl, sending shivers up your spine. without a word, you’d completely detach yourself from him, clumsily climbing over the console to his backseat. as you climb back he’d catch a glimpse of your panties underneath your dress, setting a fire off in the pit of his stomach as he ungracefully follows you.

you didn’t care that the backseat was cramped, didn’t care that you were parked in your driveway sitting in your ex’s car, didn’t care. all you wanted was your cheollie, and now you were finally seated on his lap again as he kissed down the curve of your neck. you’d pull his hard cock out of his pants, giving it a few pumps as he whined into your neck. he was aching for you, missing the feeling of your body on top of him and your warm hole enveloping him. you tugged your panties to the side, sinking down onto his erection as you both let out wanton moans. you were positive his car was rocking back and forth as he fucked into you, but you both could care less. “l-let’s make up—ngh—for all the time we missed,” he’d groan as you bounce on him harshly. you’d nod eagerly, tangling your fingers into his hair. “mhm,” you’d agree with a fucked out smile. “let’s fuck again in my bed after this,” you’d choke out, receiving a breathy laugh from seungcheol. his hands would travel eagerly from your waist to your ass, grabbing and caressing every part of your body he could reach in the restricted space. your eyes would roll back into your skull as he hits your sweet spot repeatedly, almost abusing it as he feels you tighten around him. he’d stare up at you with glazed over eyes, his mouth open slightly as lewd sounds escape him. “let me sleep over tonight?” he’d plead, puppy eyes begging you to let him spend time with you. you couldn’t help but smile at his cuteness despite him fucking you stupid in the backseat of his car. “i’d l-love that,” you’d breathe, wondering if it was possible to love cheollie any more. (it was possible when he had you pinned to your bed after your first round in his car, eating you out like a starved man <3)

taglist: @jeonghanpill , @bangantokchy , @caratboy , @bewoyewo , @luvseungcheol , @wonvsmile , @haolovre , @aaniag , @writingbarnes , @dokyeomkyeom , @allieyaaa

#thoughts #seventeen smut #seventeen #smut #svt smut #svt #seungcheol #scoups #choi seungcheol #seungcheol smut #seventeen scoups #mountainficss

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bugs1nmybrain · 5 months ago

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Bipolar!Tomura x Reader

Warning: Bipolar Disorder (implied to be type 1), gender-neutral reader, angst, fluff, Shigaraki is mean to the reader, psychotic symptoms, substance use (weed and alcohol), short

note: Shigaraki refers to himself as "being bipolar." I'm aware this is pejorative language, but it made sense for the context of Shigaraki's condition in this story. I also have Bipolar Disorder for reference.

The TV was barely audible over the obnoxiously loud video game music and sound effects coming from Tomura's bedroom. It wasn't like he was ever quiet, but this loud? The neighbors might mistake you two for having a break-in. It definitely didn't help when Tomura would cuss out his screen.

"are you fucking KIDDING ME?! You SCUMBAG CHEAT FUCK!!"

You weren't unused to him talking shit to people on voicechat. It's just he was particularly erratic at the moment. You wanted to check in on him but you weren't sure if that was appropriate. The stabbing decibels would surely blast you away.

Suddenly, all the sounds stop, only leaving the sound of your ears faintly ringing from the absence. It was soon that you smelt..*sniff* .. pot. You hoped he had a fan going and you also wished he'd share. Tomura was already on it though. He opened the door to his room and zipped into the kitchen. With his joint still burning in his hand, he reached up into the cupboard to grab a glass and then a bottle of whiskey. Damn, maybe he should ask for some help?

You watched as he attempted to open the bottle, with his joint in his left hand. His quirk certainly was to be taken accounted for, and he knew it too, because he got too impatient and dusted away the cap, only for the disintegration to fall into the bottle.

"fuck," he said abruptly, but just decided to pour the alcohol in his glass, dust particles included.

"Tomu?" you questioned, watching him try to multitask putting the shit back while smoking his joint.

"Yea, I know, I'll share. Just hang'on."

"Can I help you?"

"Uh.." he spent a moment pondering as if it was a weighted decision. "Here, hold my joint."

You walked over to him and took it from his hands. You contemplated if you really wanted to smoke now, given his state. You knew early on that Tomura had a condition and this wasn't the first time you'd seen him manic. The fact that he wasn't on medication also meant that his episodes could get carried away, and he'd scare you. Not because he was scary...or maybe he was, but you knew it was because he had tripped into a heavy episode.

Tomura turned back to face you when he was done, noticing the joint burn down.

"Why aren't you smoking?" He asks. His tone was normal, though a little jumpy.

"I don't really wanna."

"Why? I don't like smoking by myself. Makes me feel like shit."

"You seem restless."

"Mm, how'd you guess?" He said with a blissfully agitated staring at you.

"Like..you're fast."

"I'm so speedy fast wanna watch me?"

"When's the last time you slept?"

Shigaraki paused and tried to sort through his recent memories but he was unsure. "Uh, maybe..five? Five days ago? I've probably had a nap or two though."

"Maybe we should calm down. Do you wanna watch a movie?"

"Why're you talking to me like a kid?"

"I'm not, I'm worr-"

"Yea I know that, I can tell it's all over your fucking face. Listen, I'm well aware I'm batshit crazy right now but I'm NOT some tragedy, alright?"

"I didn't mean it that way," you stood shaking, trying to fight back your eyes watering.

Tomura sighed seeing you standing scared in front of him. He'd been trying to be fine for weeks. Tomura was never "fine," but when he was paranoid, hyper, determined, and careless beyond proper function, it was a major hindrance. Impacted his goals, though he was great at brainstorming when he was manic.

"You meant it. I'm not even like, mad. I don't know why this happens though, you've seen it before, right?"

"I have. Tomura, can I say something without you getting pissed?"

"What?"

"I think you have Bipolar Disorder."

"Oh really? Turn in your psychiatric report because I'm sure I'm many other things too!"

Tomura huffs and plops down on the living room couch. His adoptive father never gave him access to anything like mental health treatment. AFO told Tomura himself that issues of this matter where only problems that could help his passion for destruction. But Tomura would even admit, being manic beyond belief was scary. He heard voices, saw things that weren't there, sometimes his family, and it was a total living nightmare.

You snuck up behind the couch and began playing with his hair gently. He let out a "hm?", confused considering he just raised his voice at you.

"I just say it because I notice patterns. Like you'll be motivated and nonstop for weeks and then super depressive and bummed out. And it repeats over and over. Usually within the same time frames, too. I'm not trying to insult you, but it might explain things, right?"

You ran your fingers through his scalp. It was definitely a while since his last shower, too. His hair was greasy and dry, but you kept touching him. You could feel him relax into your fingers and whine.

"Sounds like bullshit. I'm not taking any pills."

"I'm not telling you to."

"Well, are you leaving or something? Gonna punish me for being Bipolar?

"No. I want to help you."

"Ain't you some fucking hero."

"I mean it. I can tell you're overwhelmed and just need some sleep or something. I'm not mad Tomura, I never was, I just want you to be ok."

His shoulders began to tense and shake a little. He may have been tearing up but you didn't look and he sat silent.

"Can we order pizza and play Mario Kart, instead? I don't wanna just sit. I'm too awake."

"Yes, baby. I can make a pillow fort!"

"Fuck yessss. Um. I'm also really sorry for yelling at you that wasn't cool."

"I understand Tomu."

You ruffled his hair and kissed his head quick before bolting off to grab your phone but he pulled you down to his lap before you could escape! mwah-ha-ha!

"Stay here for a bit."

"You're trapping me!!" You protested.

"You want me to settle down? Then stay."

Tomura rested his head against yours and held you like you were a stuffed animal. Soon, you could feel his body relax and heard snoring. You turned to see Tomura finally sleeping, but decided to sit still and drift off with for the rest of the night.

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki #shiggy x reader #shigaraki angst #bipolar shigaraki

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all4aoki · 6 months ago

Text

⊹ 𝓢END 𝓐 𝓢IGNAL ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ

you hated change, but maybe it was necessary for your happiness . . . enha x f!reader (pjs focused), poly!enha, enha8thmember

wc . . . 13.1k , warnings! my poor attempts of writing angst, cheating / talks of cheating, mentions of kidnapping & death, rushed writing, me guessing stuff about being an idol, not proofread

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©all4aoki, 2024

Something was wrong. Not the kind of wrong that settled heavily in your gut and told you that you needed to remove yourself from the situation, but the kind that started as a small voice in your brain and morphed into something you thought about constantly. Which was strange to you. Promotions for Border: Day One were finally coming to an end and the preparations for your group’s next mini album had already begun, so while the stress of your job hadn’t fully gone away, you didn’t think it was the cause of your intuition going haywire

That feeling would only rear its ugly head where it was unwanted when you would watch them interact. Normally, when the male members of Enhypen spent time together, love was the only emotion you could sense. Fondness. Joy. Whatever you wanted to call it, it didn’t make you feel uneasy. But recently, when you saw Sunghoon and Jay together, a part of your mind related them to a ticking time bomb. The reason was unclear, but the way their eyes shined with a kind of passive aggressiveness when the other wasn’t looking and the fact that they had been only communicating with each other in short sentences since a week ago screamed unhealthy to you. After all, you had never seen them engage in what you assumed to be a fight. And since you were such a good girlfriend, you were going to stay out of it until Sunghoon said something to you.

Besides, resolving tensions was Jungwon’s job.

“I think you’ve developed a staring habit,” Sunoo said from beside you on the couch. You blinked away from the video game the eldest four of the group were playing on the TV.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What’d you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘What do you mean’?” He continued eating the ice cream that had somehow found its way into your fridge one day. “I swear every time I look at you now you’re spacing out.”

Well, to be fair, you were trying to put the pieces of some kind of puzzle together. “I was just thinking–” you hesitated, but quickly concluded that if anyone would shut down your worries speedily, it would be Sunoo. You lowered your voice to a whisper, “Do you think Hoon and Jay-oppa are mad at each other?”

The two boys in question were sitting on the floor, a large amount of distance and Heeseung between them.

Sunoo didn’t say anything.

“Mmm… you know something, don’t you?” you giggled as he shrugged and took another bite from his dessert. “Tell meee,” you whined, throwing yourself onto Sunoo’s lap only for him to (somewhat) gently push you off and onto the floor.

The thud of your landing made seven other heads snap in your direction.

“Sunoo-ah did you just push my girlfriend off the couch?” Sunghoon asked, getting up quickly and taking the short five steps to your spot on the floor. You sat up easily and rubbed the back of your head to make sure nothing hurt.

The rest of your members were unsurprised when Sunghoon and you announced your relationship. Maybe you two hadn’t done the best job of hiding it, but you still thought that with the debut, they wouldn’t have noticed anything. Turns out the way Sunghoon looked at you, as if you hung the moon and stars, and how you had barely let him out of your grasp were clear indicators of your relationship. So after a few weeks of being together, and when you were sure you were never getting away from the honeymoon phase, the two of you had sat the rest of the members down only to be met with: “Oh we already knew.”

Sunghoon kneeled down next to you, one of his hands coming up to meet yours on the back of your head and the other wrapping around your waist. His fingers rubbed against the silky strands of your hair as he felt for any kind of forming bump.

“He didn’t push me that hard,” you reassured. “I’m fine. Promise.”

You tried to disregard the concerned looks and Heeseung’s request for he himself to look at your head. In an attempt to distract yourself, you took Sunghoon’s hand from the back of your hand and tenderly placed a kiss on his palm, then on the corner of his mouth after shifting onto your knees.

“M’ not a baby,” you said, ruffling his hair before sliding over to the base of the couch. Your feet crossed under you as you settled between Jay and Sunoo, who was still unphased on the sofa.

Riki scoffed from his spot on the furniture, in the far right corner, “Get a room!”

Sunghoon responded with a roll of his eyes.

He followed you to your new position on the floor, pushing at your legs so he could lay on his back between them. You complied, dropping them straight and letting him rest his head back on your stomach. Sunghoon at some point had gotten his controller back as well, and for a few minutes, there was silence apart from the shooting and violence of the video game.

The game was quick to become boring and you reached behind you, hand blindly searching for your phone. Thankfully, Sunoo placed the device right in your grip before you would’ve had to ask Sunghoon to sit up for you to look.

“Thanks, Sun,” you whispered to him and he smiled softly at you. When you turned your eyes away from him, glancing to your right, there was Jay. His jaw was set in a form that looked too tense to be comfortable and his knuckles white from holding onto the controller with a hand that was probably too tight.

Yeah, something was definitely wrong.

You felt something shift against your stomach and you looked down to realize that Sunghoon had been looking up at you. He had been watching you study one of his best friends who was sitting a little too close to you for him to not feel a bit antsy. A small grumble left him with a choice of words you couldn’t comprehend and then Sunghoon was forcing one of your hands into his luxurious-feeling locks. Out of instinct, you ran your fingernails along his scalp in an attempt to calm him down.

You had kept your interference between the male members and their conflicts to a minimum, in firm belief that they were mature enough to sort out their differences, but there was a part of you that kept tempting you to do something this time.

Rarely did they need help, and you figured that they wouldn’t ask for it unless it was absolutely necessary. In fact, they honestly might not ask for help at all, pride and ego being traits that were still overwhelmingly strong in their personalities. And while you didn’t want them to be angry at you for trying to extend an assisting hand, you didn’t want the people you loved fighting each other either. So, maybe you didn’t have to do anything. Asking wouldn’t hurt. That way, you would at least be aware of whatever was going on between the two boys. Then you would be able to decide what to do.

Nodding a bit to yourself, you twisted your head to be directed towards the elder male on your right. “After this round can you help me make some food?”

Jay’s eyes snapped over to you, and you were surprised at the sharpness they held. Was he angry at you too? Your confidence in your plan faltered at his reaction to your request. Subconsciously, you shrunk away from him, your eyes suddenly unable to meet his for more than a few seconds.

“Sorry, I was just hungry.”

Jay blinked slowly and tilted his head to the side as he went back to the game, “Of course, we can make something. Don’t apologize if you’re hungry.” Somehow that made you feel worse.

Sunghoon moved against your belly again, “Let me make something for you.” Normally, you would’ve gladly accepted the offer, but you felt as if you needed to talk to Jay. It was weird, you’d never played the mediator before. Usually, you would stand off to the side and watch everything unfold, only interjecting when necessary, but maybe it was time that you began trying to help your loved ones in more ways than one.

You smiled down at Sunghoon, his head pressing into the soft skin of your stomach as he craned his head back at you. “Thank you, Hoon, but I want an edible meal.”

“Yah, I can cook!” he pouted and you cooed at the cute expression. Your thumbs ran over the smooth expanse of his cheeks and he leaned into your touch.

Prickles of heat on the right side of your body began to rise and at the feeling, you glanced over your shoulder to find Jay staring at the two of you.

“Jay-oppa can make me something, Hoon.”

“Yeah, Hoon, let Jay-oppa make YN-ie something.” You didn’t like how he emphasized the two boys’ names. Especially with the way Sunghoon sharply tilted his head towards his elder. If you could’ve seen his eyes, you figured they would be burning with some kind of anger considering the way his muscles tensed.

For a moment, the only sounds that met your ears were the quiet conversation the other members were having, the TV in the background, and the video Sunoo was watching as he undoubtedly eavesdropped on the three of you.

“Mmm, okay,” Sunghoon sighed as he turned away from Jay, facing the television and placing his elbows on the outside of your legs. Harshly, he pulled your limbs closer to his sides with his arms and you almost yelped at the way your legs slid on the ground.

His thumbs rattled the buttons and joysticks with an alarming speed, “As long as I get to feed you when he’s done cooking, princess.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion and maybe a hint of disgust at his words. Feed you? What was he saying? Sunghoon was well aware of your love for your independence, and while you’d slowly been allowing him to take care of you in ways that you previously hadn’t wanted, he should’ve known that you could do basic human functions.

“What’re you…” you softly muttered to yourself, but ultimately gave up on your point. You cleared your throat quickly, shifting your attention back to Jay. “Do we still have stuff for bibimbap?”

“I don’t want bibimbap!” Jake cried from the other side of the room.

You laughed, “Then you don’t have to have any!”

“Yeah, I’m just making food for YN-ie and me to eat,” Jay added.

“And me,” Sunghoon said. You mentally cursed him. Of course, you loved the boy more than anything else in the world, but there shouldn’t have been a reason as to why he wasn’t letting you spend one-on-one time with another member. Especially not Jay.

The elder had been there for you as soon as Part 2 of I-Land began, almost acting as some sort of caregiver. Brother definitely wasn’t the right word, he was always too nice and a tad bit too nervous to engage in any sort of sibling-like banter. Friend for sure. He was always the one checking up on you after those first weeks, making sure you were tending to your needs and doing it for you if you admitted you hadn’t.

If Sunghoon should’ve had the most trust in any of the members for your well-being, it should’ve been Jay. But now he was engaging himself in every instance of alone time you had with Jay.

Your fingers stroked his face again, relishing in the warmth that radiated from his body, “Didn’t you just eat?”

He chuckled, “I’m always hungry.”

“Don’t they need you here to play the game?”

“I’m sure they’ll manage.” So he wasn’t going to relent this time. “It’s starting to sound like you don’t want to spend time with me!” Sunghoon teased playfully. You did your best to act like he hadn’t caught your plan of action to solve this cold war-esque fight.

Suddenly, your face felt warm. “Hoon, that’s not true. I don’t want you to overeat–”

“Wow,” Sunoo said from above you.

You glared at him from over your shoulder, “Hush.” The boy simply shrugged. “You know what, I actually can’t wait.” As gently and lovingly as you could manage, you lifted Sunghoon’s upper body off of you and laid him back on the ground as you stood up.

You offered a hand to Jay.

His dark eyes flickered between your outstretched palm and your boyfriend that was spread out on the tile, Sunghoon’s own eyes studying you as if you were some sort of goddess. It looked like he was thinking about something, but before you could try to deduce what, Jay’s rough palm slid into your hand as he got up.

Even when you tried to tug away, his fingers held your smaller ones tight.

“I was asking for your controller,” you muttered, taking the item from his other hand and tossing it to Sunoo. “Here, Sun, you play.”

Sunoo whined a bit, but made room in his hands for the device, balancing what little remained of his ice cream against the object. Sunghoon nudged your ankle with his hand and you instantly found him.

A soft smile was swift to grace your lips and his small grin matched yours.

“I love you,” you said and Jay moved behind you, pulling you towards the kitchen. A chorus of “I love you too” followed, Sunghoon yelling how your words were meant for him being the last thing you heard before you were left in mediocre silence with the older male in the kitchen.

For a while, nothing was said. Your throat felt clogged every time you thought you were finally going to say something. It was almost embarrassing how you couldn’t find the comfort that was usually there when you spoke to Jay. It had been routine for everything to be so easy between the two of you and you weren’t sure when that’d changed.

Silently, you slid into one of the chairs at the island that Jay was now using to prep your requested dish.

“Do you want to help?” he asked, beginning to prepare the rice. You shrugged and pulled the cutting board that he’d gotten out to your side of the island.

“If you need it so bad, sure.” He glanced at you from over his shoulder. Snarkily, you smiled at him. And as he got the package of shredded carrots out of the fridge, you began cutting up the cucumber.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows and leaned on the counter, “I’m not sure if I like that cutting technique you’re using.”

“I thought you wanted me to help,” you said, popping one of the slices into your mouth and chewing.

Jay slipped the cutting board away from you as quickly as you had taken it, “Sorry Kendall Jenner, but I don’t want you losing a finger.” You pouted at his words, face scrunching up as he voiced his playful doubt.

“Hey…” you whined as he gently took hold of the wrist of the hand that was holding the knife, taking the tool from you. “I’m never gonna get better at cooking if you don’t let me try!”

He chuckled at your reaction, chopping up the rest of the vegetable and handing you a few pieces as he did so. You ate them, but not without frowning at him as he gave you each one.

“Don’t need you hurting yourself though,” he explained. “And when I teach you to cook we would be making a nice meal. Something they would serve at an expensive restaurant.”

The thought of him instructing you, getting closer than he normally would, whispering to you as you both shared laughter made your face flush. The alarming sensation of butterflies in your gut suddenly rushed over you. It was a feeling that you only got with Sunghoon. A feeling that you were only supposed to get with Sunghoon. You brushed it off. You were thinking about Sunghoon, that was probably why you suddenly felt that good kind of nervousness. The one that was one of the many reasons that made you understand why being in love was so wonderful. Something that made life so enjoyable.

You did your best to smile, pushing down whatever had found its way into your gut.

“I don’t think I have the patience to work on something for that long.”

“Well, you do it every day. As your job, so the least you could do is spend some time with me.” One more cucumber. You took it halfheartedly.

“Yeah… I’m sorry I haven’t been hanging out with you guys as often as I used to but I’ve been trying to–”

“Be with Sunghoon,” Jay finished for you. As a response, you nodded. The timer for the rice went off, and Jay slowly spun around to get the food. The smell of comfort filled the space, and you sunk a bit into the hardness of your seat. “I just can’t believe that he thinks it’s okay for you to be with him 24/7 because you’re…”

He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“Dating?”

“Yeah,” Jay agreed right away. You watched as he retrieved two bowls from one of the cupboards and began assembling the bibimbap for the two of you. After those words, it was easy to piece together that he was angry at Sunghoon because you’d been spending all of your free time with him. And honestly, that made you angry.

Of course you were going to spend time with your boyfriend. While you still wanted to keep your friendships with the rest of the members strong, you were going to prioritize the boy you were in love with because, well, you were in love with him.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, “Is that why you’ve been so passive-aggressive with him lately?” Jay said nothing as he moved to the end of the table to retrieve two pairs of chopsticks.

“Don’t worry about whatever small fight we’re having,” Jay said, giving you a close-lipped smile as he handed you the bowl of food that you’d been supposedly craving. “We’ll get past it soon. We’re just like brothers… and it’s a small misunderstanding.”

Gently, you blew on the food before you brought a mouthful to your lips, humming as you chewed. He was probably right. The boys had had small arguments and miscommunications before, and it never took them extremely long before they made up. They loved each other too much to fight for that long. And they probably already had separation anxiety from each other, like you did. You always felt guilty whenever you were mad at one of the other members. At first, anger would drive your actions and thoughts, but the culpability would never be far behind, and you were never able to hold a grudge or stay in a fight for more than two or three days.

Maybe you forgave people too easily, or maybe you just had the blessing of empathy.

“Well,” you started, stirring your food around with the metal chopsticks. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” Jay grinned at you, his mouth full of the hot bibimbap.

“Just don’t forget about the rest of us, okay?” He reached over and instinctively, you leaned back, dodging his touch. “Relax, you have sauce on your mouth,” he laughed and you tried to do the same as he wiped the corner of your lips with his thumb. Something in your chest sped up.

Your shocked expression must’ve been extremely amusing to the older male because as he slipped the thumb with the gochujang sauce into his mouth, he couldn’t help but laugh again.

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay.

While he almost always knew what he was talking about, somehow having just a bit more wisdom than the rest of you and not hesitating to use it, apparently, he had no idea that this whole scenario was worse for Sunghoon. You had left the subject of his growing tensions with Jay to rest, figuring that you were doing the right thing by letting them fix things on their own. Especially after your interaction with Jay in the kitchen.

You had slowly begun returning to your old ways of spreading your time out equally with all of the members. Eating breakfast with all of them instead of hole-ing yourself up in your room with Sunghoon and going out with the members one-on-one. Not to say you were ignoring them in the first place, you still had been with them for the majority of your days, but having the opportunity to connect with them on a personal level again was making a part of you feel whole again. It was weird to think about. Your heart was already so full and content when you were with Sunghoon, and you knew that being with him was more than enough for your happiness. But that happiness increased tenfold with the rediscovered relationships of you and your other members.

You hadn’t even noticed that you’d somewhat been isolating yourself with Sunghoon.

But apparently, this sudden change in your everyday routine was enough to send him over the edge.

The two of you had yet to sleep in separate beds since you got together, and it had become a nightly ritual for the two of you to get ready for bed together. It was an intimate way to end the day and being with him calmed all of the worries and stresses that you’d dealt with for all of the hours that you’d been awake. Laughing with him was so easy and it was adorable the way he’d sit on the closed toilet while waiting for you to finish your skincare.

And as you both entered the bathroom, you found yourself repeating that same phrase that had become your mantra for the past week: something was wrong.

He was quiet as you slipped on your headband and he stayed that way as you brushed your teeth, waiting for you to spit in the sink so he would have the space to do so as well. You studied him as you stood straight, left hand holding your hair back so you wouldn’t get any toothpaste in it. Sunghoon’s face was devoid of any emotion. Blank. But his eyes held a kind of annoyance that you’d rarely noticed before.

His movements were sharp with agitation as he turned the water on to wash the brushes, and you didn’t miss how he bit the inside of his cheek. You gaped for words. The last thing you wanted to do was make him even angrier, and considering you had yet to see Sunghoon this angry without him even saying anything, you weren’t quite sure how to comfort him. You weren’t that great at comforting people in the first place. Once again, you never really knew what to say, but that was what worked so well with you and Sunghoon. He never knew what to say either. You would hold each other and only share words to explain after your severe emotions had passed like the worst of a storm.

This didn’t feel like that. It was almost as if he was waiting for you to say something, to provoke him. He’d been bottling up his frustration with the rest of your members for so long that he was ready to explode. And at that moment, you knew he wanted to explode at you.

“What’s wrong?” you finally asked, voice meek. No eye contact was made as Sunghoon sighed deeply, not even bothering to lift his head in your direction.

“Nothing.”

You wanted to groan, to roll your eyes at his stubbornness, but you reminded yourself to have patience or nothing good would come from this conversation. “That’s not true, Hoon… I love you and if something’s bothering you–”

“Do you?” You looked at the back of his head, face scrunching a bit in confusion. Before you could say anything he continued, “Still love me?”

“What?!” you half laughed, which you immediately regretted. “What is this nonsense? Why would I not love you, Hoon.”

His hands on the sink shook a bit and he closed his fingers around the edge to stop the jittering. “Why have you been– have been avoiding me all week?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you instantly denied. “We’ve been doing everything we normally do–”

“No–” he cut himself off, clearing something in his throat and for a split second it almost sounded like he was choking down a sob. “We haven’t had a meal with just each other once. I don’t think we’ve had a conversation for this long since Sunday and do you remember that coffee date we were supposed to go on yesterday?”

Your heart dropped and the tears came almost instantaneously.

How could you have forgotten that?

“That’s what I thought,” Sunghoon laughed, sounding watery as he finally pushed himself away from the sink to face you. Your stomach was made of wet sand and you couldn’t bear to look at him. “And you skipped it–” he was blinking harshly now, one of his index fingers pointing at you. “To watch a movie with Jay.”

You were crying now, tears making little streams down your face and you reached for your boyfriend. He pushed your hands away quickly.

“Hoon at least let me apologize!”

“No! You don’t even deserve to be the one crying right now!” He was shouting now and the loud sounds made you shrink back from him. He didn’t even acknowledge it. “I’m the one that deserves to be upset! The guy that has a crush on my girlfriend convinced her that she was neglecting everyone else when she was just neglecting me!”

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay. He had lied to you.

“Sunghoon I didn’t know, please–” You tried to take hold of his face again but he caught your hands, refusing your touch again. “Jay doesn’t like me! And even if he did, I love you. Not him–”

“It doesn’t matter!” Your wrists shook with his movements. “It’s too late. I was stupid to think that I would get to have you to myself when you act like that all the time.”

“Act like what?” you spat at him. Your faces were inches apart now and you could see that a few trails of water had slipped from Sunghoon’s own beautiful eyes too. The urge to wipe them away and kiss his face almost overpowered your growing exasperation.

“Like you’re their girlfriend too! Like you would choose them over me!–”

“Sunghoon stop it!”

You tugged your hands away from him, fed up with how he wasn’t actually listening to what you had to say. An uncomfortable silence found its way into the bathroom like a ghost. Only then did you realize how quiet the rest of the dorm was too. Which meant that everyone had probably heard you and Sunghoon fighting. Great.

He huffed, irritation clear even in the small action.

“Have some respect.”

His shoulder hit yours as he pushed past you to the bathroom exit, swinging the door open without a second glance back. You could only listen as his footsteps made their way down the hallway and a door slammed loudly after they’d slowed to a stop.

You needed to get out.

In a much quieter fashion than Sunghoon, you slipped out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the exit. And to your confirmation, Heeseung, Jay, and Jake were sitting in the living room, not muttering a single word as you stormed past the room to the door. You didn’t even feel their eyes on you as you tossed on a random pair of slippers and tugged on a coat that probably wasn’t even yours.

“YN-ah, wait!–” one of them finally called, although you weren’t sure which one it was since you were outside in the cold before they could say anything else.

Something inside of you must’ve disconnected as you walked down the driveway and along the street, not sure where you were going, but it felt so good to be by yourself for once that you didn’t really care. But as you left the neighborhood and entered the portion of Seoul that was maybe a few miles away from the dorm, you were back to thinking.

And the question that stood out among the rest was: why was your best never enough? Why didn’t people understand that you were trying?

Then the sobbing started. Your hands gingerly found their way to your elbows as you hugged yourself to try and find some comfort in the cold weather. Part of your brain tried to alert you that you were an idol out in public with no bodyguards, crying and out after 9 p.m. on a Saturday, but your heart and eyes didn’t listen. Your steps had decreased in speed and you were now shuffling along the sidewalk.

Exhaustion wasn’t far behind you. The strength of which you’d been pouring your feelings out had taken a toll on you, and as you hiccuped for the final time, a headache settled in. And after that, reality followed.

Everyone was probably worried about where you had run off to. Considering you didn’t have a phone, they had no way of reaching you until you decided you wanted to go back to the dorm. Which, honestly, you didn’t have a problem with. While being comforted was always welcome and a majority of the time necessary to truly calm you down, you realized that this moment to yourself was another thing that’d been missing from your life for weeks. Your brain finally had a moment of silence for itself, and as the late January wind blew across your maskless face, the coolness was refreshing.

Alone time had always been important for you. For your social battery to recover, for you to feel like yourself, and for you to not lose your wits. But in this lifestyle you’d chosen, it was rare for you to be left by yourself. Your members often understood that you needed a second to breathe to function properly, but for the past week, you’d been so busy trying to give your attention back to them that you’d been ignoring your own needs.

If only you’d recognized that, maybe you wouldn’t have forgotten about your date with Sunghoon. Or you could’ve realized how everyone else was feeling.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a metal bench, devoid of any people. Your feet were tired as you brought yourself over to the seat and plopped down, muscles relaxing instantly at the chance for rest. The fresh air was doing wonders for you too. Focus was seeping back into your head and with each inhale and exhale, your headache began to dissipate. Gently, you closed your eyes, not even bothering to worry about if anyone saw you. A freshly debuted idol who already had a decent amount of fame, with dried tears on her cheeks sitting in the middle of a random strip of stores.

Naturally, after you’d taken yet another moment to cool off and regather your emotions, the first thing you thought about was Sunghoon.

Making up with him was the first thing you needed to do when you got back. Apologize for the mistake you’d made and hope that he would forgive you before you both went to bed angry at each other, which was something your mother had warned you to never do in a relationship. You knew that he was an understanding person who was truly sensitive deep down. Especially when it came to people he loved. Sunghoon’s first impulse was to protect. And that applied to both those he cared about and himself.

His lashing out at you was just one of his ingrained reactions to defend himself from hurt. And you hated that you had made him feel that way. You’d hurt him.

You also knew that you both were very mature people. After all, you had to be considering the industry you were in. Talking to him was often all he asked for. He didn’t need gifts or ornate gestures as an apology, just a way to speak about things so you both could understand what had happened and how to properly deal with it in the future.

This pondering had strangely made you feel a bit better. A small lightness in your chest made you feel hopeful that this would all be nothing but a story to laugh at within the next few days. Or probably weeks. This first fight was something you needed to be careful with until both you and Sunghoon had wholly moved on from it.

You had no idea how long you’d been gone, but you didn’t want to head back anytime soon. Nervousness or anxiety about seeing your boyfriend again wasn’t what kept you perched on the chilly iron of the bench. Rather, the opportunity for you to reconnect with yourself and be at peace–

“YN!”

That would’ve never lasted that long considering how you might as well have just run away.

“YN,” Jay repeated as the sound of his voice got closer. He sounded out of breath. Slowly, you opened your eyes back up.

Puffs of air left his mouth in clouds of steam, thanks to the below-freezing weather, and he had to take a moment to presumably calm his racing heart before he was in your personal space. His arms gripped you tightly, fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he buried his face in your neck. The angle was awkward, considering how he was bent over strangely to embrace your sitting figure, but he ignored the slight stiffness that came with it to hold you. To relieve himself that you were there and you were okay.

The best you could do with your arms pinned to your sides was clumsily pat his right hip.

When he pulled away, hands shifting to grip your biceps almost painfully, the worry in his deep brown eyes had become something more displeased. You were already predicting what scolding would leave him.

“What were you thinking?!” You simply blinked at him, vision flicking around his face, taking in his pink cheeks and slightly runny nose and irises filled with intenseness. Your lack of response only spurred him on further, “Leaving without saying where you were going, without any of us for protection, without saying if you’re okay–”

“I’m fine.”

“God, you have everyone worried sick! Jungwon-ie had to call Sejin-hyung and now, everyone’s out looking for you… You have to be more careful, you could’ve gotten mobbed or– or kidnapped or even killed!–”

“You sound like my father,” you pouted. He huffed out what must’ve been a fake laugh as he turned his head to the side for a split second before taking the spot next to you on the bench. “And I don’t think anyone is trying to kill me.”

Jay looked back at your face, “I want to kill you right now.” He pulled you into his side, tugging your head to the space between his neck and shoulder. “Don’t do that again or we’re gonna have to lock you up or something.”

His bad joke drew a small giggle out of you. You felt his tautness lessen at the sensation.

“I’m serious, YN,” he said and his tone reflected his words almost a little too perfectly. “We heard you fight with Sunghoon and you were clearly upset–”

“I’m fine,” you repeated, fighting against his hold as you tilted your head back to look at his face. “I just couldn’t stay in that house.”

He frowned. “You could’ve talked to us though,” he said, and the hurt he spoke with made your heart clench for the millionth time that night with contrition. “You can trust us with anything. The last thing I want you to do is feel uncomfortable around me.”

You decided to ignore the change of subjects.

“I don’t want to sound selfish, but I really couldn’t.” You sighed, weight releasing from your shoulders as you cuddled back into Jay’s side. His chin rested on your hair. “Not when you guys were what we fought about.”

A beat of silence. You were really getting tired of that.

“Sunghoon-ie’s a wreck,” Jay finally said.

You didn’t know what to say, “I am too.” At some point, your breathing pace had synced with his and you enjoyed the sensation of being so connected to someone. “I hate fighting with him more than anything, it's just– I don’t know, it just feels so wrong… Does that make sense?”

Jay nodded against the top of your head.

“I know the feeling.”

You hesitated before continuing, “Hoon said something…” You trailed off and Jay repositioned himself again, leaning the two of you further back on the bench. “Never mind.”

“What?” he pushed.

“He said something about you liking me.” And with that, the pressure of agitation grew in the body against you once more. Cautiously, you drew yourself away from Jay. He didn’t fight you.

Jay’s face was stoic and you struggled to read whatever emotion he was experiencing. “When I told you you didn’t have anything to worry about, I meant it,” he said plainly. Your nose wrinkled and your eyebrows drew together.

“What?–” But Jay was pulling out his phone, dialing what you assumed to be your manager and therefore, a car to take you both back to the dorm. You didn’t stop him, tired of the night you’d had and the wide range of emotions you’d been put through.

In mere seconds a black SUV pulled up in the street beside you. Jay got up first, offering you a hand and you took it, him helping you off the seat and over to the vehicle. He opened the door for you, and you muttered a small “Thanks” as you clambered inside.

The cushioned seat was welcome after sitting on the hard material of the bench for so long, but the way that no one said anything in the short ride back to the house wasn’t. That alone time and silence that you’d longed for earlier was now making you twitch with discomfort. Where was the Jay that joked with you? The one that made you feel so much like yourself? In the pale moonlight that shined in through the car windows, he looked princely despite the dark circles under his eyes and ruffled hair. He didn’t move his eyes from watching the scenery pass by outside and you concluded that he was in deep thought about something.

As the car pulled into the driveway, your manager in the front seat gave you one final warning about leaving the house unsupervised and left the conversation with a good night. You said nothing. Opening the car door with more strength than you probably should’ve you hoped out and slammed it behind you, not waiting for Jay as you stomped up to the front door. You weren’t sure when your anger had returned, but you took it out on the keypad of the dorm, Jay coming to watch you mess up the code twice due to your annoyance which only shortened your self-restraint. After the second time, he reached around you to enter the four numbers and opened the entry for you.

Six other bodies rushed to you when you walked past the threshold and your hands shot up to try and block your body from the impending embrace. The last thing you wanted at that moment was to be touched by more than one pair of hands. Thankfully, Jay came to your rescue for one last time that night.

“Give her some space,” he said, shooing Jungwon away from your left side. “Let her go see Sunghoon-ie.” The whisper was meant for just Heeseung, who’d been the one standing closest to the hallway that contained all of the bedrooms.

The eldest nodded. “He’s in your room,” Heeseung said.

“Thank you,” you offered delicately. “Good night.”

“Night.” He shuffled to the side and you walked past them without a second thought, the only thing on your mind being your boyfriend.

The sharpness of their gaze on your back prickled your nerves as you reached for the doorknob. Composure was something that lacked as you creaked the door open just enough for you to slip through, shutting it behind you swiftly.

Sunghoon was curled up on your bed, facing the wall and with the way his shoulders were heaving, you could tell he was crying. He looked like a small child. It made your heart ache.

You toed out of your shoes, having forgotten to take them off at the front door and softly, you tip-toed over to the bed.

“Hi, Hoon,” you said as gently as possible, sliding your right hand over his arm as you used the other to set yourself down on the small space left on the mattress.

His head snapped to look at you and to your confirmation, his eyes were red, tears still brimming on his waterline.

“YN-ie…” Your other hand found the side of his head as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. His bottom lip quivered, “I’m sorry.” And then it was his turn to sob as he pushed his head against your stomach. Sunghoon echoed the words again. Then again. Then again, like a mantra. All you could do was curl over him, pressing your lips against the back of his neck and whisper reassurances against his skin.

“Breathe, Hoon,” you said, trying to get him to settle down. “Breathe with me. Please.” And then you were breathing in slowly, counting to four, and then exhaling in the same way. On your fourth deep breath, your palm on his back rose in time with your own lungs. Eventually, his whimpers stopped.

Your crewneck was wet now, but you didn’t care. Having him here with you, in your arms again as you comforted him was the only thing you could concentrate on.

“I thought you weren’t gonna come back,” Sunghoon finally said.

You cooed a bit at his words, “Nothing would stop me from coming back to you.”

His eyes peeked up at you from his place on your lap. And then in a blink, his forehead was against yours, his hands pulling you closer to his upright body, chest against chest. Sunghoon opened his mouth, getting ready to apologize. You kissed him before he could.

You were desperate as you both continued to pull each other as close as physically possible, tongues intertwining as a way of saying: “I’m here”. As much as you wanted to keep kissing him, there was no way you two could make up correctly if you did so. You pulled away to look at his puffy face, eyes and all. Your thumbs stroked the area under his lashes, wiping off the tears.

“Don’t you dare apologize.”

“I want to, though,” he said quickly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you or– or said any of those words because I didn’t mean them and they didn’t help anything–”

“I forgive you,” you interjected. “I’m at fault too. I’m sorry that I didn’t notice how you were feeling, and I’m sorry that I forgot our date.” You both exchanged a weak laugh. “I didn’t mean to ignore you and I promise and I swear and I vow, cross my heart, all of it… That I won’t do it again.”

“I highly doubt that,” Sunghoon protested, but he was smiling softly. You adopted the same expression. “But I know that you’re going to do everything in your power to try and not to.”

You nodded furiously, “You’re going to get sick of me asking if you’ve gotten enough attention.”

He chuckled, “I’m sorry if I’ve been keeping you from spending time with the others. And I’m sorry that I made you feel bad about it.”

“We’re both trying to figure out relationships,” you said. “And how to balance them with our friendships… But we’re gonna work it out together.” Sunghoon stared at you intently, his whole attention on you as you spoke. “We aren’t done talking about this, but I am not mad at you.”

He cut you off, “I love you.” That last piece of concern in your emotions eased.

“I love you.”

The next morning you and Sunghoon had spent quite a bit of time talking everything through. Him sharing his worries about his possessiveness and how to get better with it and you sharing how his words did hurt you, but understanding his point of view and how you weren’t completely innocent in the situation. By the time the group was ready to leave for Enhypen’s schedules for the day, you and Sunghoon had successfully made up from your first fight, and the rest of the members (apart from Jay) had given you a small scolding on how much you’d scared them the previous night.

The rest of the day was easy. Finally, you’d regained your attentiveness to the group’s preparation for both the last of the award show performances as well as already the next upcoming mini album. You’d felt like yourself again as you laughed with Sangmi and Riki during your dance practices and gladly took the spot next to Sunghoon during the meeting you’d had that day to discuss future content. It was the recurring theme for the week, you finding yourself again, but it was welcome. Strangely enough, you hadn’t even realized that you’d become the persona of “Just Sunghoon’s Girlfriend”. Fitting that side of you while maintaining all of your own hobbies and relationships was something you could now feel yourself getting better at. And it only made you more and more joyful.

Sunghoon was happier as well. It was easy to tell with how he was reaching for time with the others now, and with his growing ability to share his troubles with you. Despite the changes in your relationship with him, for the better, many of your old habits stayed. You both still went on multiple dates a week (at least one of them being at a café), spent the nights together, slept on each other during car rides… the list went on. So it wasn’t abnormal for the members to find you both curled around each other on the couch when your list of to-dos for the day had been completed.

You were relaxed into Sunghoon’s side, legs thrown over his lap and talking his ear off about some cartoon you used to watch when you were little that he’d never heard of when Jay came into the living room.

“YN-ie,” he said, interrupting your chattering and causing both you and your boyfriend to look over in his direction. Jay was standing next to the front door, parka on and a black beanie hiding the majority of his still bleach-blond hair. “D’you still wanna learn how to cook?”

You nudged Sunghoon’s head with your own and peered over at him. He was still smiling, not a hint of discomfort on his face as he bumped your head back.

“Go,” he whispered to you. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jay-hyung, you're doing me a favor,” Sunghoon suddenly spoke up. “Maybe by the time you’re back she’ll be tired of talking about Gravity Falls.”

You gasped and smacked Sunghoon’s chest lightly, “I’d never get tired of talking about Gravity Falls.”

He grabbed the hand that had just hit him and stuck his tongue out at you. You used your free hand to try and swat at his face but he just barely dodged you, swiftly taking hold of your right hand too. Sunghoon puckered his lips at you, “Kiss.”

“No please?”

“Please?–”

“Oh my god, get a room,” Jay said from his spot by the entryway. At his words, you leaned over and gave Sunghoon a quick peck before you were clambering off his lap, Sunghoon yelling out in faux pain as you did so.

“Is the car already here?” you asked as you approached Jay, him already holding a coat open for you to put on.

You turned so your back was facing him, and he helped you pull on the outerwear. “Yeah, so say your goodbyes.”

“Does this cooking involve me never seeing anyone again?” you joked, tugging your hair free from the space between the coat and your neck. Both of the boys laughed.

“Depends on how long it takes us to get these groceries,” Jay responded, opening the door for you as you pulled on your shoes.

You sighed, “Okay, okay. Bye, Hoon! Love you!”

The phrase was repeated back to you as you and Jay exited the dorms. The ride to the store market Jay had picked out was shorter than you thought it’d be and before the two of you could get too deep into your conversation, he was already helping you out of the car and starting along the vendors, bodyguard following closely behind the two of you.

“What are we making?” you questioned after passing by a vendor that was making Odeng for a couple that was wearing matching jackets. The sight made you wonder if that’s what you and Jay looked like–a couple.

He interrupted your thoughts, “Atlang.” You furrowed your eyebrows as your mouth dropped open a bit.

“Fish egg soup?”

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, barely moving his eyes to look at you. “You’re acting like you don’t breathe and sleep sushi.”

He had a point there.

“So I’m guessing we’re here for the fish eggs,” you continued.

“The myeongnan–” you rolled your eyes a little at his fancy terms, “and the gochujang paste. We have the vegetables and spices at home–”

“On your left!”

You were in Jay’s arms before you could process something whirring past you in a blur. His jacket was plush and cold between your fingers as you gripped onto him tightly and you were grateful that you hadn’t tripped over your own feet and taken you both down to the cement. A dryness caught in your throat when you recognized how close Jay’s face was to yours. Your brain felt empty as you stared at his warm brown eyes that seemed strong and ever-growing–his attention focused on the scooter that had almost just run you over.

That sudden adrenaline that always came after a close call never appeared in your veins, though. Because the only thing you could sense as you pulled him closer, hanging on tight and taking in the woody perfume that he’d been using lately, was calmness. Centered. Security. Surprise, at the fact that you were feeling these things.

“Idiot. Who rides a scooter in the middle of a marketplace?– God…” And then he was looking at you and that calmness was replaced with a rush of dopamine and the adrenaline you’d been waiting for. “Are you okay?”

Your tongue barely darted out to wet your lips as you stared at his own.

“Mhm,” you softly hummed and you were back on your feet before you could finish the sentence and process what was happening.

“Good, let’s go.”

What? At his change in attitude, you felt out of breath. Nonetheless, you followed him.

The rest of the shopping trip flew by. As the two (three, bodyguard– duh) of you strolled along the stands and vendors, searching for what you needed, you couldn’t help but get distracted by some of the items. A necklace that you didn’t have the money with you to buy, a scarf that you would’ve loved to give your sister for Christmas, and some delicious-looking tteokbokki that Jay wouldn't let you get.

“You’ll ruin your dinner!”

“Please! I’m starving.”

“That’ll make this meal that much better!”

Begrudgingly, you’d given up on the street food and thankfully, not much longer after that, you’d found the last thing you were looking for. With the staff that’d come with you holding the bags, you whispered to Jay about how your feet hurt.

He squatted down almost instantly. Grinning widely, you’d climbed onto his back, wrapping your arms around his neck. But then his hands curled around the backs of your thighs and it was all you could think about. For the walk back to the car, his fingers digging into your skin and making you feel warm. In an attempt to hide your heated face, you hid it in his neck and somehow, Jay didn’t complain about how your breath tickled his skin.

Your mouth was so close to him. You wondered if he tasted as good as he smelled. If he would like it if you kissed that birthmark that was just under his jaw. That mark was so adorable–

Once again, your feet were being placed back on the pavement without you noticing it. Your hands moved slowly away from Jay’s neck, down his back a bit and then they were retracted immediately after you processed how inappropriate it was for you to be touching him like that. Especially when you had a boyfriend. Jay didn’t seem like he cared though, and if he did, he didn’t say anything.

He still opened the car door for you, helped you in, and made you laugh on the car ride back. Easing the thoughts you had of whether he saw how you’d been acting or not. It was almost happening unconsciously, the thoughts and longings that you usually only had with Sunghoon. And the guilt you felt about it was heavy, considering how Sunghoon had shown how bothered he was about you acting like a girlfriend to the other members. To your shared friends.

Everyone had apparently headed off to their respective rooms by the time you and Jay re-entered the dorms. Night had barely fallen so you figured that they were all taking a moment for themselves before you and Jay called them out for dinner. After removing your outerwear, Jay and you headed into the kitchen, him carrying the groceries as you slid along the tile in your fuzzy socks.

“Haul time!” you cheered, jumping around the edge of the island so you were on the side that was with the stove.

Jay chuckled, “First…” he took something out of the bag. “The gochujang paste!” You let out a small ‘yay’ as you took the container out of his hands, placing it on the counter. “And lastly…” he revealed the package of myeongnan!”

“Whoo!”

“‘Whoo’ is absolutely right,” he said as he joined you on your side of the room, opening the fridge to store the marinated pollack roe. “Everyone should be grateful that we’re making them such a high-quality meal tonight.”

“Maybe I’ll just watch you make it.”

Jokingly, you moved away from him, hands gliding behind you on the cool surface of the island. As expected, Jay’s fingers circled your wrists before you could get too far and you were being pulled back to him.

“Nice try,” he laughed and you frowned. “You’re a big girl and you can help me make dinner.”

Well, you weren’t going to argue with that. Especially when his voice sounded a bit deeper than it usually did.

Nervously, you separated your touch from his to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “Fair enough. What do we start with?”

“Washing your hands,” Jay said, tilting his head back towards the sink as he moved to rummage through the cupboards for the utensils you’d be needing.

You nodded, “Makes sense.”

The hot water was borderline scalding on your hands, but at that point, you were willing to try anything to remove the electricity that Jay left behind on your skin.

Cooking when you were doing it right, and with someone who you enjoyed spending time with, was surprisingly easy. You had thought that it would require more precision, exact measurements and stirs and timeframes, but Jay made everything look so natural. He told you that almost everything could be done with your instincts and a little bit of guidance from the recipe and he was absolutely right. It was effortless to relax after you gained a bit more confidence in your movements and the jokes and conversation flowed as a harmony with the quiet background music Jay had turned on at some point.

Everything was done cooking sooner than you’d thought it’d be and you were almost disappointed that your time alone with the older male was almost up for the night. Trying not to dwell on the collapse of contentedness, you continued slowly chopping up the last of the vegetables that would go with the altang.

“Ah,” Jay said from behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see him approaching you. “That was the other thing I wanted to fix.”

“What part of me are you trying to fix?” You laughed.

He smiled as he shifted so he was standing directly behind you, “Your cutting skills.”

The hardness of his chest pressed against your back and your nerves seized and you dropped the knife onto the cutting board at the sudden closeness. Frozen was the only way to describe your movements as Jay silently reached his arm across your body, one hand delicately taking hold of your right hand to turn it over while the other retrieved the knife. Only his soft breathing was against your ears as he placed the handle back into your grasp, his fingers arranging your own to hold the blade in a certain way.

The rise and fall of your lungs slowed. You felt dizzy, like his nose brushing against the shell of your ear as he peered over your smaller frame was putting some kind of spell on you. Focusing on the task at hand felt impossible as he somehow got even closer, arms practically wrapped around you while he adjusted your other hand. His fingers looked so large compared to your own and the sight of him effortlessly bending your knuckles so you wouldn’t cut your fingertips off only intensified that dizziness.

Maybe this was too inappropriate for a girl who already had a boyfriend but at that moment you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Your love for Sunghoon was so strong and you thought that there was no possible way it could’ve been matched, but there was something else growing in your heart that made those conclusions falter.

Jay had always been there for you, had always been the one to take care of you, and was the one noticing the things that no one else did. You’d always appreciated him, been grateful for the way he treated you like a princess, but you couldn’t help but recall recent times when he’d been a bit too assertive over others when it came to you. Him calling off the other boys when you ran out of water during practice, saying you would share with him. Him sending a glare to anyone who’d enter the beauty room while you were getting ready with him being the one keeping you company. Him indirectly trying to get you to spend less time with Sunghoon and more with the other members. Including Jay himself. Little things, but now, in this intimate position you couldn’t help but think they had a different meaning.

Overwhelmed, you set the knife down, Jay loosening his grip on you to let you do so safely.

“Jay…” Your whisper could barely be heard over the hushed music, but he still hummed after you said his name. Hip brushing against his, you carefully turned around. Jay’s hands didn’t move from around you, his hands resting on the edge of the counter. You were caged in against him.

His eyes were so pretty. You couldn’t read the look in them, your brain too cloudy and his intense stare almost made it impossible to maintain eye contact. But you might as well have been hypnotized. The brown of irises was so warm that you could only think of chocolate and how badly you wanted to drown in them.

You weren’t sure who kissed who first.

Jay could’ve leaned down or you could’ve risen on your toes but it didn’t matter because his lips were finally moving against your own.

It didn’t take long for his mouth to crash against yours and you think you might’ve whimpered as his tongue found its way between your lips. Subconsciously, her hands roamed under the hem of his shirt, discovering the firm muscles of his lower back as his tongue explored your mouth. It was a kiss that was meant for lovers behind locked doors, not in a dimly lit kitchen where anyone could walk in. Jay deepened the kiss even more, which you didn’t think was possible, and only then did you realize what you were doing.

Your hands that had been lovingly holding him to you were abruptly pulling him away from you, knowing that now he should be as far away from you as possible. Jay stumbled back at the tugging against his white t-shirt, hitting the edge of the stove and causing the pans placed on the border to clatter back towards the middle.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” you gasped, hand shooting up to your mouth.

Jay shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I’m okay. Are you alright–”

Now your own head was moving side to side hard enough to cause a dull pain behind your skull. A tear fell despite you not even realizing that they had begun to well up.

The guilt that was creeping up inside of you made you feel physically ill, unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You felt horrible, you were horrible. You were a horrible girlfriend. God, how could you keep making mistakes like this when Sunghoon…

“Sunghoon…” you sobbed, hand against your mouth shaking as you processed what you’d just done. Jay was instantly back at your side.

Softly, he took your hand in his and moved it away from your face, holding it in his. “Shh– shh… I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We can talk to him and explain–”

“Explain what?” you cried in a manner that was perhaps a bit too loud. “That I– I– cheated on him?” You couldn’t get enough air in your chest. You were going to puke. There was a steady thumping under your palm.

Jay lifted your hand to his chest, letting it rest on his heart and feel the slower pace at which he was breathing. “You need to breathe, YN, you’re having a panic attack.”

Closing your eyes, you let a trembling breath escape your lips. And as Jay’s chest rose, you took a deep breath and exhaled as he did so. Repeating the process was easy, but opening your eyes to Jay’s saddened face made your heartbreak and guilt build up all over again.

“I–”

“You guys okay? Thought I heard something break,” Heeseung said from the doorway. Neither of you said anything, Jay just kept looking at you as you turned your vision to the floor.

Clenching your fist tightly, you let the pain of your fingernails digging into your skin distract you from the pain in your heart and you cleared your throat. “Yeah, we’re fine. Dinner’s ready.”

You pushed away from Jay, wiping the water from your cheeks. Keeping your head down, you brushed past Heeseung, beelining for the bathroom you used most often since you figured that was the only place where no one would question why you were crying. You burst into the room quickly, shutting the door behind you as quietly as possible.

And for the next hour, you laid on the bathroom floor, the coolness of the tile on your face keeping you present. Keeping you thinking about how you hated yourself for kissing Jay. Hated yourself for liking it and loving him.

All of the progress you’d made in your relationship with Sunghoon had been ruined in under five minutes. All of the self-love that was beginning to return to you had been ripped away the moment you’d decided to kiss Jay back. And if the avoiding you’d done with Sunghoon before you both got together was bad, the way you were avoiding Jay was borderline criminal. You’d thrown yourself fully into your relationship with Sunghoon, making up your mind about how if you gave him more love it would cancel out the tiny mistake you’d made. The huge mistake you’d made.

It had only been two days, but the time that’d passed felt like an eternity. There was no way you’d be able to keep your actions with Jay a secret for much longer. You told Sunghoon everything. He was your best friend, your person, and you rarely kept things from him. Usually when you messed up, you and he would be able to open up and share how you were feeling and how to make it better. But you knew that if he ever found out about this, he would never forgive you. It was wrong to keep something like this from him, but you didn’t want to lose him.

But you didn’t want to lose Jay in the process either.

And that was exactly what was happening. You liked to think that you took your time to process things and think your options through when really, you would put decisions off to avoid the consequences of them. Ignoring Jay almost every time he tried to speak with you and never allowing yourself to be alone in a room with him was hurting him. You could tell that much. With the way the shine that was in his eyes when he would see you would dim when you would pretend like you didn’t hear him. The way you’d stop coming to him for help with things. You knew you were making him feel unneeded and unwanted, but you couldn’t dare pick between the two boys.

Because you were in love with both of them.

The thought still didn’t seem morally correct to you, you weren’t sure if it would ever feel socially acceptable either, but it was true. Your coming to terms with your feelings for Jay were much different than your experience with the ones for Sunghoon. You weren’t able to embrace them fully in fear that both boys would leave you if you played your cards wrong or said something that would set them both off. And it didn’t help that they both had possessive tendencies.

So you turned to Sangmi, one of the only people you could trust with this information.

“You like both of them?” she’d asked, removing the sheet mask that you’d both been doing in the soft lighting of your guys’ room.

You nodded, “Love. I think I love both of them.”

She pursed her lips and puffed her cheeks out, focused on folding her mask. After a moment, she’d thrown it into the trash can, almost missing so the skincare hung over one of the sides of the gray plastic.

“I don’t know what to tell you, babe. I can’t say I’ve ever been in that position–”

“Just tell me what you would do.”

“But I can’t,” she had sighed. “Because we’re each our own person. Just because I would do something one way doesn’t mean you should do it as well.”

You whined and slumped over onto her lap. In a comforting manner, she threaded her fingers through your hair, scratching her nails lightly over your scalp. “I’m stuck! I don’t think I would be able to live without either of them…”

“First of all, you definitely would–” Your groan of annoyance cut her off and she giggled. “Second of all, from what you’ve told me, they love you too.” Her voice had gotten quiet. You straightened your spine back to an upright position and locked eyes with your best friend.

“You think so?”

Sangmi had hummed in agreement, “Talk with them. If they love you as much as you love them, then they would be willing to do anything to be with you. To make you happy.”

“Even sharing,” you sighed as you flipped around and rested back down on her folded legs. “That’s so much to ask of a man, though. One can’t even stay loyal to one girl most of the time.” Your hands flopped to your side. “How am I supposed to ask for so much from them? One girl and two guys? No way that could ever last.”

“Not with that mindset,” Sangmi laughed. Her face grew pensive and while you waited for her to continue, you stared at the white ceiling. “I think that you’ve always made love out to be trickier than it actually is–”

“But sometimes–”

“Sometimes there are exceptions, and this whole kiss thing with Jay-oppa might be one of them, but YN-ie–let yourself go for once.”

You looked down at your hands, folded over your chest, rising and falling as you breathed.

“I just feel like every time I do that I mess up.”

“You’re human. Humans mess up all the time but you’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t take a risk.”

You bit your lip, “Maybe you’re right.”

Sangmi shrugged, “I tend to be.”

“Or maybe you’re just feeding my delusions– Hey!” You squealed as she threw one of her pillows at your face.

“I’m never giving you advice again,” she said, sounding like a stressed mother. You giggled.

And now, swallowing your pride, your feet padded against the smooth tile of the living room as you approached Sunghoon after claiming that you were going to use the bathroom. When really, you’d spent a good four minutes in the space mentally preparing yourself for this difficult conversation.

“Hey,” you said, a smile on your face as you found your spot right next to him on the couch again.

Sunghoon turned off his phone, watching you approach him with his own dazed expression. “Hi. How was the bathroom?”

“As awesome as ever.” You sounded nervous. Nervous was an understatement. You were pretty sure you were shaking. “Um… I actually needed to talk to you about something that’s been– um, bothering me for a couple of days.”

Sunghoon’s eyebrows knitted together and he nodded slowly, “Yeah, what is it?”

“So…” you started, shifting onto your knees so you were closer to eye-level with him. “I’m not really sure how to say this but um… the other night, when Jay-oppa and I were cooking we… um…”

Sunghoon tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes a bit at you. “You what?”

“We kissed,” Jay said from the doorway, entering the conversation just like he did the night Sunghoon and you were speaking of.

Afraid, you glanced back at Jay, who looked angry, then at Sunghoon, whose face was blank. Your heart dropped. Their reactions were exactly the opposite of what you’d been hoping for. But they were exactly what you’d been expecting.

You waited for one of them to yell at you. To call you a horrible name and say you were disgusting. For Sunghoon to break up with you, for Jay to say he regretted ever kissing you, but neither of them said anything. And that only scared you more, but you had no idea what to say.

Finally, Sunghoon clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and his eyes zoned in on Jay. Then he was standing up and your vision followed him, uncertain of what he was going to do.

“God, man, what do I have to do to get you to back the fuck off from my girlfriend?” He laughed bitterly and you felt frozen once again, just like you do in every conflicting situation.

Jay scoffed, eyes shooting back and forth between you and Sunghoon, “She kissed me back. And you know, I think she liked it.” The last part was a whisper and you couldn’t help but let your gaze fall to the floor as both boys let the sight of you looking pitiful on the couch be the center of their attention.

Embarrassed, you nodded.

“Well, then what do we do?” Sunghoon said, his anger creeping into his tone. “Because you’re clearly trying to ruin my relationship with her–”

“YN’s not completely innocent in this either!”

“I’m right here!” you yelled, fed up with how neither you nor Jay were refusing to take responsibility for the situation and for how Sunghoon wasn’t accepting that you cheated on him. “And if anything, this whole thing is my fault. Not yours.” You looked at Sunghoon as you also stood up, pushing away from the couch. “Or yours,” you said, eyeing Jay.

You blinked back tears, trying to remain strong.

“Because– because I’m in love with you both. And I feel disgusting saying it because you both deserve someone that will love you both how you deserve and–” Sunghoon’s arms were around you before you could finish your sentence. The only words you could repeat were “I’m sorry” as Sunghoon soothingly hushed you, hand resting at the back of your neck as he held you close to his chest.

You felt another pair of hands travel around your sides as Jay wrapped around you both, effectively surrounding you from every free space. Sunghoon’s cheek fell onto your head and Jay’s chin ended up on your left shoulder. Their scents, the warmth of their skin, and the feeling of their heartbeats was enough to ground you again and you found yourself calming down as you weakly encircled Sunghoon’s middle with your arms.

“Okay, I’m okay,” you said, getting a bit overwhelmed with the tightness you were enveloped in. Both of the boys backed away hesitatingly, and you took a spot on the couch again. Sunghoon followed suit quickly as Jay stood next to your side in front of the furniture.

“Sunghoon-ah, I’m not trying to destroy your relationship with YN-ie,” Jay confessed. “You’re important to her and… and you’re important to me too.”

With a confirming nod, Sunghoon accepted the elder’s words.

“I’m in love with her too,” Jay added and his words made your heart practically stop. Your eyes felt a bit too wide to be normal and he stared down at you with a small smile on his lips. “And I want what’s best for her and clearly, that’s you.”

“We shouldn’t have kissed, Hoon,” you joined in, turning to face your boyfriend. His elbows were resting on his knees as he took in what Jay and you had to say. “And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, and apologizing for not telling you about it right away, and I’m sorry I didn’t say that I was falling in love with Jay sooner because– I love you so so much.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sunghoon admitted after you finished speaking. “I don’t think I’m really that mad, actually just more sad that you felt like you couldn’t tell me.”

Reaching for his left hand, you carefully took it into your own. “You mean so much to me, Hoon. I didn’t want to hurt you–”

“It does hurt,” he said and your bottom lip trembled a bit. “You aren’t forgiven yet, but I’m not going to break up with you.”

Hope lit through you, you could practically feel it seeping out of your pores. “Really?”

“I love you,” he said simply. “And I know you love me. But I know that you love Jay too–”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you said, squeezing his hand tightly. “I’ll do whatever makes both of you happy.” Glancing back and forth between them, you continued, “If that’s not being with either of you, so be it–”

“Absolutely not,” Jay laughed. “Do you know how hard Hoon here had to work to get you to date him?”

Sunghoon sighed, “That’s not the point.” You stifle a giggle at the irritated look he sent Jay. “Let me finish. It’s going to take a lot of work, for me and Jay-hyung, but I’m okay with… I don’t wanna say sharing, that sounds wrong, but, if being with both of us is what you want…” he cocked his head to the side, eyes swimming with a varied mix of emotions. “Then I’m okay with it.”

“So what… You’re suggesting I date both of you?” you asked, eyebrows furrowing. Peering over your shoulder, you locked eyes with Jay, who also looked like he was in deep thought. “If you want to, Jay-oppa.”

A few seconds passed before Jay answered, “We’ll have to take things super slow. And Sunghoon-ie and I are gonna have to figure out how to get over our jealousy, but yeah. Let’s do it.”

You didn’t even try to hide how overjoyed you were, a grin proudly present on your face as you practically jumped on Sunghoon, peppering kisses all over his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you so so so so so–”

“Okay– okay! Calm down, princess, I love you too,” he chuckled. You pulled away, gazing sweetly at his eyes before leaning in to kiss him. Nothing deep, just a long peck on the lips before you withdrew from Sunghoon and turned to Jay.

“C’mere,” you said, reaching for him. He complied, smirking a bit as you tugged his face to yours, giving Jay his own peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Jay gave you a peck on your cheek, “I love you.”

“Okay, that’s enough for now,” Sunghoon said. His hands drew you back to his chest and tucking your head under his chin protectively.

“I don’t get to join in on the cuddles?”

“No. Just me. Remember you guys need to make it up to me for kissing before we agreed on… whatever this is.” Sunghoon’s hair was silk-like between your fingers as you twisted your arm up so you could play with his locks.

Laughing, you patted the spot next to you on the couch. “You can sit next to us, Jay. I’ll play with your hair too if you want me to.”

Jay seemed to brighten again. He was leading your hand to his head as he laid down on the cushions, head falling on your lap. Sunghoon complained a bit, but after a few kisses, he finally settled in.

You knew you all had a lot of work to do, but with both of them laughing and being there with you, that feeling of fullness–of being complete, you’d been searching for for so long returned. Permanently. Happiness would be easier every day as long as you had both of your boys by your side, just like this.

마리셀의 노트 , thanks to miss lana del rey for giving me the motivation to finish this😓 I’ll try to be faster with writing in the future but I am in school so that’s my first priority!🌷🩷 please don’t be afraid to ask me stuff / interact with me! and thank you for all of the support🥰💕💋

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kaceythecrunch · 8 months ago

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RANT. (sturntok.)

Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.

Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)

Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.

Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.

Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.

Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.

"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."

"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"

Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.

Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.

Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.

"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."

POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.

If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?

Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.

Thanks goodbye.

Me to Sturntok :

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shixcherie · 12 days ago

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Mutal Midnight Madness | Choi San, Jung Wooyoung, Kang Yeosang ☆

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

Navigation | Kinktober List

☆Day 23 : Phone Sex

↬ [ Synopsis ] : After a hectic day at work, you decide to hop on a video call with your boyfriends, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San. A special gift from San becomes your source of joy, while the boys keep you entertained all night.

☆Word Count : 2.9k ☆Genre : Smut, Idol-Au, Crack. ☆Pairing : Idol! Wooyoung x Idol! San x Idol! Yeosang x Stylist! F.Reader

☆☆☆WARNINGS : mdni!, pure Smut (18+), y/n was a stylist for the boys, menace WooSanSang, flirty texts on crack (ss inside for u my loves! 😉 ), use of sex toys (vibrator), phone sex, boys are busy with their “It’s You” mv while y/n is in Italy for her fashion show, lots of riling up, hella suggestive, edging, praise, petnames (cutie, kitten, baby, babygirl )

NOTE : Day 23 with my boys WooSanSang for you all. I am grinding hard to catch up because I was busy with exams so now I am working hard to finish this kinktober on time.

Hope y’all enjoy this piece, I loved writing it so much. I loved writing those flirty msgs on crack so have fun (ss are there waiting for you). Hope you enjoy and show some love to this ma cheries , I have tried something different.

"Let us take care of you, babygirl," Yeosang and Wooyoung assured you as they watched through the screen. The vibrator, San's gift, took you to peaks of pleasure, their names falling from your lips like a prayer, while San's intense eyes never left your beautiful frame.

But how did the midnight madness begin ? Let's rewind a bit.

“Y/n, how is the collection coming together ?” your collection director Amanda, asked as you diligently worked on your first clothing collection, set to be presented at Milan Fashion Week. After working as a stylist for four years, you were finally getting the chance to release your own collection.

“Yeah, it’s coming together really well.” you replied to Amanda, just as your phone pinged with a notification. You quickly turned it off.

“I’m already halfway done with the collection, Amanda. Just a few more pieces and some accessories I have planned. Once those are designed, I’ll be completely finished,” you continued, a satisfied smile spreading across Amanda’s face as she admired your work.

She noted the intricate details you’d incorporated, impressed by how you’d pulled inspiration from fantasy elements while still keeping the pieces wearable—a challenge you had tackled successfully.

“Really amazing work, Y/n. The collection truly feels like one cohesive piece, with different moving parts that all contribute to the main message, pulling it together beautifully.” she complimented you as your phone pinged again. You let out a nervous chuckle, quickly turning it off once more.

“Thank you so much, Amanda. I really hope this collection makes an impact on the Milan runway,” you replied, hoping it would be your big break into the glamorous world of fashion. Another ping.

“I’m sure it will. This might be the star collection of the season, given how diverse it is. It will definitely appeal to a wide audience.” she said. Your phone pinged yet again. “Y/n… that sounds like an important message. Why don’t you check it?” she urged.

“Oh, no, it’s nothing, Amanda. Just a few friends from Korea. You remember when I worked as a stylist there? It’s just them,” you replied, carefully hiding the fact that these friends were actually members of a famous boyband called Ateez.

“Ahh… I do remember. Anyway, I won’t take up more of your time. Good luck hun,” Amanda said before leaving the room. You took a deep breath, only to be startled by another ping on your phone.

A year ago, you had worked as a stylist for KQ Entertainment. Specifically, you were responsible for styling Wooyoung and San. With your social personality, you quickly became close friends with them—they enjoyed your company and admired the outfits you put together for them. Yeosang also became your responsibility to style when his stylist suddenly quit, and that’s where this beautiful, messy journey began: feelings, sneaky one-night stands, and a secret relationship that followed you to Milan. You quit your job as a stylist after a few months when an incredible opportunity arose to work on your own collection under Amanda. Leaving Korea, you moved to Italy but kept in touch with the boys, bound by the fun evenings and party-filled nights you had shared with them.

Finally, you opened the message that had your phone buzzing nonstop. Your eyes lit up at the notifications from your favorite group chat with the boys: Sinners Squad (you all thought the name was kind of silly, but it definitely fit whatever the four of you had going on, so you decided to keep it).

After a hectic evening, you finally returned home, eager for your video call with the boys. You missed them so much, and knowing they were busy shooting the “It’s You” music video only made you crave their presence more. The fact that they still made time for you, despite their hectic schedules, sent a rush of warmth through you.

What started as a no-strings-attached arrangement quickly spiraled into something thrilling. Playful flirting and heated exchanges deepened your bond, and memories of sneaky one-night stands ignited delicious tension between you. Their teasing words dripped with double meanings, leaving you breathless and craving more.

You all respected each other's craft, but the undeniable chemistry kept you longing for those stolen moments together. Their virtual support was laced with flirtation, and you often found yourself blushing at their suggestive comments, knowing this connection was anything but ordinary.

Now, their support came through sultry phone calls and steamy video chats, with each word of affirmation only intensifying the longing you felt for them. The group chat buzzed with playful banter, flirty remarks, and a few cheeky emojis that left you blushing, reminding you of the passionate yet playful connection you all shared.

Finishing your dinner, you freshened up, changing into your night clothes just as your phone lit up. A video call from the boys. Smiling, you picked up the call to find Yeosang’s beautiful, makeup-free face greeting you with a huge smile. In the background, you could hear Wooyoung yelling at Yeosang to stop showing him while he struggled to pull on his pants.

What the heck are you doing, Woo ?

Wooyoung finally managed to pull on his pants, his mischievous grin returning. "Okay okay…I’m decent now. But can you blame me ? This is a very important video call."

You raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Important, huh ? What are you guys planning ? " as you wiggled your eyebrows at them.

Laughing at your antics, Yeosang leaned closer to the camera, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Yeah, Wooyoung, spill it! Are you going to suggest something scandalous ?"

Just then, San entered the frame, balancing a tray piled high with midnight snacks. “I brought snacks! I figured you guys could use some fuel for whatever trouble Woo was planning.”

“Perfect timing, San!” Wooyoung exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. “We were just about to decide how to spice up this call.”

“Oh really ?” you teased, leaning closer to your camera. “And what did you have in mind?”

Wooyoung’s grin widened. “How about a little game ? I dare you to tell us your wildest fashion story, and we’ll share ours too. Loser has to do a forfeit. Maybe a little strip tease for the camera ?” His challenge was way exciting to say no to do. Nodding you head, you wondered what you could share that will excite them.

You laughed, feeling your cheeks heat up as a few stories swirled in your mind. “You really think I’d lose to you guys?” You shot back at them as Yeosang’s grin widened at you confidence.

San set the snacks down, a playful glint in his eye. “If you think you can handle the competition, then bring it on kitten!” He paused to wink at you before a mischievous smile dawned his face, “But just so you know, I’m pretty good at this.”

Yeosang chimed in, teasingly, “Just remember, Y/n, we have experience in the wild department. Are you ready to lose cutie ?” You chuckled but did not back down from the fun as a long night of spicy and fun conversations awaited you.

“Game on, boys.” you said, feeling the adrenaline rush as you prepared to share your wildest story. “But just so you know, I’m not going down without a fight.”

Wooyoung chuckled, leaning forward,eyes shining with mischief. “I like a girl who’s confident. This is going to be fun, baby.”

Everyone chuckled at his excitement while you set the phone on the bed in a way that they could get a full body view of you while they adjusted their phone to make it a hands free experience.

Wooyoung finally managed to pull on his pants, his mischievous grin returning. "Okay, okay... I’m decent now. But can you blame me? This is a very important video call."

You raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Important, huh? What are you guys planning?" You wiggled your eyebrows at them.

Laughing at your antics, Yeosang leaned closer to the camera, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Yeah, Wooyoung, spill it! Are you going to suggest something scandalous?"

Just then, San entered the frame, balancing a tray piled high with midnight snacks. “I brought snacks! Figured you guys could use some fuel for whatever trouble Woo was planning.”

“Perfect timing, San!” Wooyoung exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. “We were just about to decide how to spice up this call.”

“Oh really?” you teased, leaning closer to your camera. “And what did you have in mind?”

Wooyoung’s grin widened. “How about a little game? I dare you to tell us your wildest fashion story, and we’ll share ours too. Loser has to do a forfeit. Maybe a little strip tease for the camera?” His challenge was way too exciting to say no to. Nodding your head, you wondered what story you could share that would excite them.

You laughed, feeling your cheeks heat up as a few stories swirled in your mind. “You really think I’d lose to you guys ?” you shot back as Yeosang’s grin widened at your confidence.

San set the snacks down, a playful glint in his eye. “If you think you can handle the competition, then bring it on, kitten!” He paused to wink at you before a mischievous smile crossed his face. “But just so you know, I’m pretty good at this.”

Yeosang chimed in, teasingly, “Just remember, Y/n, we have experience in the wild department. Are you ready to lose, cutie?” You chuckled but didn’t back down from the fun, as a long night of spicy and entertaining conversation awaited.

“Game on, boys,” you said, feeling the adrenaline rush as you prepared to share your wildest story. “But just so you know, I’m not going down without a fight.”

Wooyoung chuckled, leaning forward, his eyes shining with mischief. “I like a girl who’s confident. This is going to be fun, baby.”

Everyone laughed at his excitement while you set the phone on the bed, angling it to give them a full view of you, as they adjusted their phones to make it a hands-free experience.

“Alright, let’s get this game started!” Wooyoung declared, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Y/n, you’re up first. Share your wildest fashion story, and remember, it better be juicy.”

You took a deep breath, feeling heat flood your cheeks. “Okay, okay. So, there was this one time at a fashion show—”

Before you could finish, San interrupted, a playful smirk dancing on his face. “Wait, Y/n. If we’re going to share stories, let’s do it properly. You know, since we’re all friends here…” He leaned closer to the camera, his voice dropping to a sultry whisper. “I brought something special for tonight.”

Curiosity sparked within you. “Oh ? Okay, San… what have you planned for me?”

He leaned back, a teasing glint in his eyes. “I may have sent you that toy you mentioned wanting to try out. Thought it could help you with your story, kitten.”

Yeosang’s eyes widened in playful delight. “You did what? Now I’m curious! You have to show us, Y/n!”

Wooyoung chuckled, “I knew I liked San for a reason. This just got a whole lot more interesting.” He leaned closer, his voice teasingly low. “Now, how about you give us a little demonstration while you share your story?”

You felt a rush of excitement course through you. “Alright, but you boys better be ready to share something too.” You had already opened the toy that San had sent earlier and were wondering when you’d get a chance to use it.

Guess the perfect opportunity just struck.

As you reached for the toy, Wooyoung licked his lips in anticipation. “Oh, we’re ready. Just make sure you keep your voice down so the hotel staff doesn’t come knocking.”

You smiled coyly, bringing the toy into view. “Just guide me through this, and I promise I’ll keep it interesting.”

“Okay, here’s the plan,” San said, his tone playful yet filled with a hint of seduction as he rubbed his hands. “While you pleasure yourself, we’ll each take turns describing what we’d do to you if we were there.”

“Sounds like a fair deal,” Yeosang added, leaning forward, his voice dripping with flirtation. “I can’t wait to hear what you think about my ideas.”

This whole setup was perfect, given how much you missed them. They could almost feel like they were right beside you. Wow! Why have we never tried this before, you thought as Wooyoung’s voice pulled you back to reality.

Wooyoung spoke, his tone low and inviting, beginning the chain of wild imaginations. “I’d love to start. Just imagine, Y/n. If I was there, I’d slowly push your legs apart, whispering in your ear how beautiful you look, how good you’d feel with my hands exploring every inch of you as you touch yourself.”

San’s eyes glinted with mischief as he joined in. “But don’t forget, Woo. I’d be right there, teasing you about how good you look in those cute pajamas while I watched you pleasure yourself. I’d want to hear every little sound you make as you feel that toy inside you.”

A soft gasp escaped your lips as you turned on the toy, the vibrations sending shivers of delight through your body. You could feel the warmth radiating from the three boys on the screen, their eyes filled with hunger as they watched you.

Yeosang smirked, leaning back slightly, his voice sultry and low. “Just think, Y/n. If we were all together, I’d take my time, tracing my fingers down your thighs while you touched yourself. I’d make you squirm, teasing you until you begged for more.”

Wooyoung leaned closer, his voice a seductive whisper. “That’s right, Y/n. Let us guide you through every part while we pleasure ourselves, too. Just picture us, all together, lost in this moment, completely focused on you.”

You could feel your pulse quickening, the toy’s vibrations mixing with their seductive words, stirring a delicious heat in your core. “I can definitely get used to this.” you said, a sultry smile dancing on your lips.

“Good, because we’re not done yet,” San teased, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “Keep going, Y/n. We want to hear every sound, see every expression.”

With every twist of the toy and every word that escaped your lips, you felt the tension building within you. “Oh, you’re going to have to do better than that.” you challenged, your voice dripping with playful defiance.

Wooyoung laughed, his gaze intense. “Alright, Y/n, I’m just getting warmed up. Picture this: I’m right there, kissing up your body, my lips trailing along your neck while you get lost in your pleasure. I want to hear how much you crave it.”

San added, his voice a mix of urgency and teasing, “And I’d make sure you’re completely filled with pleasure, using that toy just like I would with my fingers plunged inside your dripping cunt, pushing you closer to the edge with a relentless pace until you can’t take it anymore.”

You moaned softly, the vibrations from the toy syncing perfectly with their words, urging you closer to ecstasy. “You guys are killing me.” you breathed, biting your lip.

Yeosang’s voice was low and coaxing, “Let go, Y/n. Come for us, baby. Just let the pleasure wash over you. We’re here, we’re watching, and we want you to enjoy every second.”

With a shaky breath, you continued, their voices guiding you deeper into your pleasure. “I can feel it building, guys… I’m so close.” Your hand gripped the sheets as the toy’s vibrations drew soft, pleasurable moans from you. The boys on the other side of the screen, watching your delicious movements with intense gazes, was the cherry on top.

“Amazing,” Wooyoung said, his voice thick with desire. “Now picture all three of us surrounding you, our lips worshipping your neck, your juicy breasts, and silky smooth thighs, our fingers taking turns entering and leaving your sweet cunt, making you feel so good you can’t help but scream our names.”

San chimed in, his words a seductive whisper. “We want to hear you fall apart, kitten. Don’t hold back. Let us feel how much you want us.”

The heat coiling in your belly reached its peak, and you felt yourself just on the edge. “I… I can’t hold on much longer!” you gasped.

“Then don’t.” Yeosang encouraged, his tone coaxing and smooth. “Let it all go, Y/n. We’re right here with you.”

With their voices urging you on, you let the waves of pleasure crash over you, your body responding to every command they gave. “Oh my god!” you cried out, surrendering to the ecstasy that consumed you, the toy helping you ride the high as you came all over your white sheets.

As you rode the wave of your climax, the boys cheered you on, their laughter and encouragement filling the room with warmth and joy.

Finally, as you came down from the high, your breaths came in shaky gasps, your heart racing as you basked in the afterglow of the experience. You looked at the screen, finding them all grinning, eyes bright with mischief and admiration.

“That was something else. Do you want us to send more of those toys, babygirl ?” Wooyoung asked, his expression a mix of satisfaction and playful intrigue, curious about your preferences now after trying the toy for the first time.

“I’d rather have you guys here instead of the toy, but wow, that was an amazing experience.” you replied, not quite ready to replace them with the toy just yet.

San nodded, smirking. “Just wait until we’re all together again, kitten.”

Yeosang added, his eyes sparkling. “Let’s just say, this mutual midnight madness is only the beginning.”

“Yeah! But I’m not against the idea of trying more toys if you want to watch me. So, keep them coming,” you teased before heading to the washroom to clean up, as the boys also hung up to clean themselves as Wooyoung had clearly made a mess of himself watching you pleasure yourself.

After this ecstatic call, your body craved more and more of these midnight moments as you got ready to sleep, bracing for a hectic workday tomorrow.

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

Disclaimer : This is totally fictional and not a real depiction of the ATEEZ members. It's all just for fun only so please don’t take anything seriously and keep the mood light around here.

Tag List : @star-my | @pixie0627 | @astuteataraxy

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slytherinshua · 11 months ago

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DISTRACTIONS

genre. fluff. warnings. kissing. pairing. jihoon x fem!reader. wc. 941. a/n. so... that pic made me just a little delusional, huh?

“Stop, baby, I’m about to get a highscore-“ Jihoon muttered, eyes entirely focused on the game displayed on his phone. He was tapping with his fingers, controlling the small fighter to shoot at his opponents. You didn’t mind your boyfriend playing video games, you knew it was a stress reliever for him, but you wanted his attention so badly at the moment and weren’t particularly happy about a video gaming winning over you for his affection.

If you had counted correctly, it had been 8 days since you had last kissed Jihoon properly. He had been busy and tired while filming his new drama, so quick pecks before he left in the morning were all you had been getting for the last couple days. It was finally his day off today, and while you were overjoyed to be able to cuddle in his lap after so long— the lack of proper attention was starting to frustrate you.

Was the video game really better than his girlfriend?

You had been thinking of the perfect counter tactic to get back Jihoon’s attention as you sat, curled up in his lap. There was one thing that should be foolproof: kisses. If you reminded Jihoon of what he had been missing out on for the past several days, eventually he would realize that he’d much rather spend his time kissing his lovely girlfriend than playing some dumb shooting game.

You had started 2 minutes ago, conservatively kissing the back of his hand just to test out the waters. You didn’t get much of a reaction from that, just a subtle smile that might as well have been from the game. You started to get a little more daring as your patience ran thin, pressing multiple kisses to his cheek which seemed to distract him enough to protest.

“Stop, baby, I’m about to get a highscore-“

You contemplated just waiting for him to stop playing on his own, or at least finish the round since he was so close to beating his personal record. But that thought vanished after about 2 seconds, and you proceeded to kiss his cheek again and scold your brain for the silly thought.

Patience wasn’t the answer for this situation. Or, at least it wasn’t the answer that you liked. It wasn’t like you were harming him— in fact, it was known that Jihoon was more addicted to kisses than you in the relationship. Besides, you had already been patient for over a week. And now Jihoon’s pretty lips were right in front of you. There was no reason why you should hold back.

He dug his head further into the hood of his hoodie to try to make it harder for you to access face. Though he was subtle with it, you still caught onto his every move. The fact that he was now actively trying to evade you excited you, because it meant he was close to breaking.

Though his face was now unobtainable to you, with a little craning of your head, you managed to access his neck to give him yet another kiss. This is what finally got him to break. You watched in satisfaction as he switched off his phone, still 2 minutes away from finishing his round.

“You’re teasing me on purpose, aren’t you?” He muttered, giving you a knowing look, though his lips were lifting into a small smile.

“How else was I supposed to get your attention off the game?” You asked with a giggle.

“I lost the game because of you.” He whispered, pulling you closer to his chest by your hips and giving you his first kiss, one on the cheek.

“Are you mad about it?”

“Mmh, I’m very upset, baby.” He said, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

“You don’t seem very upset, though?” You caught onto his lie with a smile, and kissed his nose softly. He scrunched it up in response and pressed his lips together stubbornly.

He didn’t say anything else, silently admitting that he wasn’t really mad at all. His hand slid up to your cheek and he gently pulled your face closer to his, meeting his soft lips with yours after what had felt like an eternity. He let the kiss last long enough to satisfy both of you, and by the time he pulled away, you were both slightly out of breath.

You frowned despite the butterflies that he had summoned in your stomach, “Did you film kiss scenes for the drama?”

His eyes widened slightly, “No! No. There’s no kissing in this drama.” He quickly defended.

You raised an eyebrow in skepticism, “It’s a fantasy romance drama, Jihoon.”

His lips formed an ‘o’ shape as his brain quickly thought of his next lie, “It was a stunt double that filmed those scenes.”

You laughed at his awful attempt at pretending like he was innocent. Teasing your boyfriend never failed to entertain you. You were perfectly confident in your boyfriend’s loyalty to you, and were quite sure that every on screen kiss was only acting and nothing else, but you still loved to bring it up every once and a while.

“Does she kiss as well as I do?” You asked finally, biting back a amused smile.

“Not even close.” He responded, and you could feel the sincerity from his shiny eyes.

“Just making sure.” You smiled, leaning down to reconnect your lips again. Jihoon was like a dream to kiss. His lips were soft and gentle, and each time he pressed them to yours you felt your heart swell. Each kiss was like a soft reminder of how much you loved him.

↳ misc taglist (let's be real, it's more like park jihoon taglist): @yeonjuns-redhair,, @wolfmoonmusic,, @edensgardenn,, @cyberpunksunwoo

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perseephoneee · 1 year ago

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have yourself a merry little christmas (jamie tartt x f! reader) ficmas 2023

꒰ ࿁ ˙ ˖ ໑ happy day 1 of ficmas!

prompt: you and jamie are forced to participate in a holiday talent show

a/n: feeling very sad bc i'm not at i was feeling festive in mystic falls but this made me feel slightly okay. i wish this was better but i hope it's okay though *cries* also here are the videos i was referencing throughout this fic video 1 video 2.

↳ masterlist ↳ ship exchange ↳ taglist ↳ ficmas 2023

You're still determining whose idea it was to have a holiday talent contest with the Richmond team, but whoever it was had your most profound hatred. Not because you wouldn't enjoy watching the team make fools of themselves, but because now you were pressured to participate.

It happened about a week ago when you stayed late at the facility. You stayed late to finish a project for Rebecca and noticed later how low the sun had gotten. Peering out your window, you swore over the passing sunset. Fatigue plagued you, and you knew you'd probably just pass out in bed when you got home. Deciding to freshen yourself up, you ventured downstairs to the kit room, where you knew Will kept extra towels. You just wanted to wash your face, waking up your bleary eyes for the road. As you entered the room to grab a towel, you could hear voices from the showers.

Should you have walked into the men's room? Probably not. But you were always curious, and you were already in the room by the time you felt any hesitancy. Peering around one of the corners, you could hear the soft sounds of singing coming from one of the stalls. The raining water dampened the sound slightly, but it didn't suppress the beauty of the voice you heard.

"Birds flying high, you know how I feel..."

Whoever was singing sounded like an angel. You didn't even know that any of the boys were singers, but now you were more than intrigued. You got lost in the singing, your back pressed against the tile wall, to the point that you were late to notice the sound of the shower turning off. Snapping out of your reverie, you waited until said player left to compliment their singing. Of course, said player ended up being Jamie Tartt.

"What the hell, Y/N!" Jamie swore, a hand held over his heart as he came around the corner and saw you.

"Why didn't you tell anyone you could sing?" You slouched off the wall, arms crossed, as you looked at Jamie with a sly smile.

"Why'd you got to hide in the men's bathroom like that?" He looked at you with furrowed brows, a slight blush coating his cheeks. You had never caught Jamie off guard before, and it made butterflies dance in your stomach. Having a crush on Jamie was a given; anyone with eyes could see how gorgeous he was. The difference is you've had the pleasure of seeing him grow.

"Does anyone else know you can sing?" You inquired.

"No, I keep that to me-self," Jamie mumbled, shoving his hands in his shirt and avoiding eye contact.

"You have a beautiful voice," you said smallly. "See you around, Tartt." You walked out of the bathroom, leaving him behind as you daydreamed about Jamie's voice all the way home.

The next day was when he got payback. Office days can be extremely long and tiring; sometimes you just like to hunker down with some tea and focus on finishing your work. You had your door closed, feet curled up under you as you worked on finishing your reports. You sang softly to yourself to pass the time.

"I've been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted; your dad is always mad, and that must be why."

Jamie burst in the door, finger pointing at you and expressing I-got-you-now.

"Bloody hell," you swore, jolting back and almost knocking over your tea.

"Well, well, look, whos been keeping a secret?" Jamie smiled, sauntering over to your desk. You gave him a pointed glare.

"Were you eavesdropping?"

"Maybe," He said, his accent making it sound like 'may-bay.'

"Have you heard of privacy?" You sighed.

"Have you?"

"Touche," you smiled. Jamie was still looking at you, as expected. You gestured for him to spit out whatever he wanted to say. "Spit it out."

"You'll see soon enough," Jamie cooed, walking backward from your office. You didn't trust whatever he had up his sleeve, which was proven later by Ted bounding in with his usual enthusiasm. You liked Ted; he was unbelievably kind and hilarious, but you were pretty suspicious when he came in with a shit-eating grin.

"Y/N! I'm so excited to hear the news," he smiled, hands in his pockets.

"Uh, what news?" you raised your brows, fingers stilling on your keyboard.

"That you'll be performing in our little holiday talent show that Higgins is putting on this year," Ted laughs. "When I saw your name, I have to admit I was surprised. I didn't expect you to sign up-- but I'm so glad you did."

Jamie fucking Tartt, that little shit. You knew this was his doing. By the heavens, you wanted to tell Ted right now that this was all a mistake, but seeing how excited he was made you pause. You had never performed in front of people before, not since you were 8 years old and forced to be in a school-wide production of Peter Pan. But you could work this to your advantage. If Jamie thought he could get away with this, then he was in for a treat.

"I'm also glad I signed up," you chuckled, clasping your hands on your desk.

"Be warned though-- Beard and I have a pretty nifty performance up our sleeves," Ted finger-gunned, skipping out of your office with a wave. Oh, you were in deep shit.

The holiday talent show was later that weekend. It was Higgin's idea to get everyone together, especially since many of the boys couldn't go home for the season. Keeley was the one who thought having a friendly competition would be exciting. The prize was, of course, a ridiculous crown someone bought and dinner on the team. It was being hosted at Higgin's place, a very comfy home near Nelson Road. You were dressed in a simple but classy maroon velvet dress that you paired with boots and a sparkly clip pulling back your hair. Christmas crackers were exploding from the tote bag you carried, the gifts for the team and your co-workers. Gift-giving was in your nature, and you couldn't come empty-handed.

Keeley was the one who answered the door, dressed in black with pearl accessories and looking every part a gorgeous holiday ornament.

"Oh my gosh, Y/N, you look amazing!" Keeley gushed, pulling you inside and suffocating you in a hug.

"I could say the same for you," you laughed, taking off your coat and shucking it in the closet.

"This old thing? Just something I found lying around," Keeley smoothed down her dress, sending you a sly smile as she wrapped her arm in yours. "Did you bring gifts?"

"Of course, that's my MO," you playfully smacked Keeley's arm as she took the bag out of your hands, putting it under the tree directly to the right of the foyer. Several people were already there, and you took time to say hello while graciously sipping the sparkling wine that was provided. When Jamie came in, you ended up in the corner with Sam discussing your favorite holiday movies (you were trying to convince him that Die Hard was a Christmas movie and that any other opinion is wrong). Your voice got stuck in your throat.

You had seen Jamie dressed up before, but somehow, in the warm light from the fire, it seemed so different. He was wearing a simple black blazer and button-up, but it's like he was stripped bare for you to see. He looked devilishly handsome, and you would be lying if you said you didn't have butterflies dancing through your chest and lungs.

Unfortunately for your sanity, Jamie noticed you and took a pause before sending you a small smile. You waved back, a flush crossing your cheeks as you turned away to continue your conversation with Sam. You were saved from any more awkward reactions by Beard announcing it was time for the talent show to commence. Everyone gathered in the living room, some boys sitting on the ground like kids listening to story time and others (like yourself) standing in the back, excited to watch the festivities commence.

"Thank you for coming to my home tonight," Higgins started, taking a slight bow when everyone whooped and hollered. "I'm excited to spend the season with my friends and family and even more excited to see what you guys have in store for us! Without further ado, I'm pleased to welcome our esteemed coaches to the stage."

More cheering commenced as Ted, Beard, and even Roy "ascended" to the stage (a carpet thrown on the ground). Roy looked exasperated to be there, but Beard and Ted were putting on their game faces as the music started, and they performed "Love Shack" by the B-52s. You couldn't stop the laugh from leaving your throat as you saw them honestly give their all.

"I am so glad I am here to see this," Jamie whispered, coming up on your right and sending you into a mini heart attack.

"Gees, you scared me," you sent him a glare, for which he only winked back.

"Roy looks so happy to be here," Jamie smiled, pointing to Roy, who was playing the tambourine with the same enthusiasm you had for paying your taxes.

"I'm sure it was all his ideas," you answered, bumping Jamie's shoulder with your own.

"Oi, when is Roy Kent going to sing!" Jamie yelled, proceeding to get flipped off by Roy right as Ted and Beard broke into choreographed dancing.

The night continued in much the same fashion, with you and Jamie giving your commentary the whole time. Sam did spoken word poetry, several of the boys did dances, and Rebecca, dropped the mic with a chilling performance of Holy Night. You were having so much fun with Jamie that you forgot he had signed you up to perform.

"Okay, okay, we got a treat tonight. Our very own Y/N is performing with a special guest-- Jamie Tartt!" Higgins announced, gesturing for you two to get on stage. Jamie looked at you with confusion, and you suppressed the laugh that wanted to escape.

"Oh, didn't I mention I signed you up to perform with me," you smiled cheekily, winking at him as he looked at you flabbergasted. You hopped on the stage, ignoring the nerves spreading throughout your body as Jamie reluctantly joined you. The rest of the team was having the time of their life watching Jamie be uncomfortable, and you were enjoying your revenge. He sent you a death glare right as the music started, and you kept your eyes on him to not die of stage fright.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas; let your heart be light."

"From now on, our troubles will be out of sight."

Your voice carried across the room, and you saw a few surprised looks as everyone registered that you could actually sing. Feeling more confident, you turned to your friends and sent a small smile.

"Oh, here we are, as in olden days, happy golden days of yours."

Jamie came in with that croon that you couldn't get out of your head, and the jaws that dropped in the room were astronomical. He started playing it up for your friends as you made up your own dance on the "stage," even figuring out a harmony at some point.

The energy was palpable, and, by its end, it received standing ovations. You took Jamie's hand in yours, taking a bow. Ted came onto the stage, holding paper crowns and silencing the audience.

"I think we have a unanimous winner, don't we?" Ted asked, earning applause and a 'hell yeah' from Rebecca somewhere in the room. Ted crowned Jamie a red crown that he situated perfectly lopsided. He gave you a smile as he took the blue crown from Ted. You bowed your head as he placed it on, ensuring it fit perfectly. The kindness in his eyes was suffocating, and without caring for everyone in the room, you grabbed him by the lapels and kissed him. You could vaguely hear everyone in the room cheering, but you didn't care as Jamie kissed you back, wrapping an arm around your back.

You both smiled at each other and laughed at your friends' faces. Dani even took photos, which he was already sending to the team. Wrapping your arms around Jamie's neck, you looked at him and buried your face in his jacket.

"We're never going to live this down."

"I'm still going to get you back for making me sing," Jamie whispered, earning a chuckle from you.

"I'll look forward to it."

꒰ ࿁ ˙ ˖ ໑ tagging people who liked original post

@kibberz @alexobsessionturner-blog @vigilanteavengerqueen @librais2close2delirium @infinetlyforgotten @dancemajor1 @thedrunkoncoffee @jamieroyjamieroy @nickelbelltower @whosyourdaddienow @jjmaybanksrings @duocoastal@ihavenousername14@thefuckisgender@redbull-princess @spiderywoo @omg-just-peachy @setyourtrackers @tfbnny @gothemcityshipper

#jamie tartt #ficmas 2023 #12 days of ficmas #ted lasso #ted lasso fics #ted lasso imagine #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fic #jamie tartt x reader #phil dunster #my writing

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago

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AITA for not giving my brother my old gaming consoles?

So I (28m) love video games. Nintendo's handheld consoles in particular (I also own my parents old '98 computer and some of the PC games). They were a crucial part of my childhood and I strived to save every console and game that I could, and still keep them now for sentimental value and the sake of preserving them. My brother (30m) was never really into video games, but because we came from a lower class family, the gaming consoles and all subsequent games were typically gifted to "the whole family" and by extention, my brother, as he was the older child, but they all ended up becoming mine in the end, as I was the only one who would use them beyond the first week of owning them.

As we got older, my brother lost all interest in video games, so games started to get gifted to me directly, while the consoles remained "for the family". None of them were ever "officially" handed over to me, except for my father handing me his old grey Gameboy and going "here, you like this more than me" (that Gameboy and the Metroid game in it are my ultimate treasure). But again, I was the only one who cared about them, so everything I could beg my parents to not sell got added to my collection.

Now that we're all adults and my brother has kids and said kids are now old enough for video games (both are 6yo) they both have taken an interest. Which is awesome! I let my niece and nephew play on my Switch when they come over, and sometimes they watch me play games on my PC. They also have tablets that they play games on too, so there's no shortage of access, and my SIL is thinking about getting a Switch for at home (they love Kirby).

Just a month ago though, my brother randomly asked me for "his consoles back". When I asked why, he told me it was because he wanted to give them to his kids. When I asked which ones, he wanted them all. From the grey Gameboy up to the Gamecube.

I flat out told him no. First off, the Gamecube was sold in a yard sale after my parents "persuaded" me to let them sell it. The Gamecube I own now was gifted by a friend, so that one is 100% mine. My brother doesn't believe me on that. Second, none of these handheld consoles are being made anymore, they can be hard to find depending on where you are, and the price of the games for them are even higher. I love my niece and nephew, but they are little kids, and it would be devestating to see or hear that one of those old consoles got snapped in half or crushed. Also, again, these consoles are my entire childhood. These are the ones I held in my hands as a kid, and those games are the ones I had for years, and contained my save files on them. They mean way too much to me.

My brother got mad at me, claiming that I'm being selfish and that I can just "buy another one online" and that "they sit in a storage bin all the time", and got even angrier when I asked him why HE couldn't just buy them online. We apparently are on the same page that these consoles hold sentimental value to us, but I'm having a hard time seeing his side of it when he barely touched them.

He hasn't brought it up since, but apparently my brother's been complaining to our parents because my mother called me a few days ago to tell me that I am being selfish and to "just give him the games already". She hates seeing us fight and tends to pick the side of the kid that complains to her first, so IDK if I believe her. My dad doesn't care, and my SIL thinks spending the money on a Switch would be money better spent.

I do feel a little bad, I know I would be steaming mad if the roles were reversed, but I just do not see how he suddenly cares so much about these consoles all of a sudden, and I absolutely do not trust that he would make sure his kids are careful with them.

So, AITA? Am I being selfish? I already was thinking about letting my niece and nephew try out the old consoles when they're older and I get them all set up in a proper display case, I just do not want to lose ownership of these consoles. I already lost the Gamecube, Wii, and so many games (including PC games) to my parents "convicining me" to sell them. I don't want to lose any more.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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danrifics · 7 months ago

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Hello Bethanie. my name is Nelson and i have been dating Dan for the past year and i need advice

it all started a year ago, i am from Ireland but i was visiting some friends in London. just a few months prior, i got out of a longterm relationship and was feeling down, so they took me to a gay bar to lift my spirits and thats where i saw him, the most glorious hunk of a man you’ve ever seen, the type of man you’d risk everything for, the type of man who’s smile alone could send you to the ground, the type of man you’d take home to your parents… That man was…..Phil lester. but he was unfortunately already talking to another guy but, next to him was Dan, standing there awkwardly with a hint of jealousy in his eyes as Phil chatted up the other man. I mean, Dan was very attractive but he was no Phil. “oh well. i suppose i could still take him home to meet my parents” i thought to myself as i gathered up enough courage to talk to him. as soon as i walked over to him, he started loudly flirting with me, complementing my accent and laughing at jokes i didn’t even make. almost like he was trying to prove something as he profusely glanced over at phil and the man he was talking to. Phil didn’t seem to care and i didn’t think anything of it. before i knew it Dan took me back to his house and we hooked up. the next morning i was a little shocked to find out Phil was Dan’s roommate and they built the house together. i thought it was a little strange but i overlooked it and Dan and i decided to continue seeing each other.

our relationship started off perfectly! i think we’re truly in love! however recently i started noticing some….things. for our 6 month anniversary, Dan went all out and got reservations to a fancy restaurant, i was ecstatic! i got all dressed up and headed all the way to London only to find out he took Phil with him instead…. and then valentine’s day 2024, i bought Dan very expensive gifts and he came all the way to Ireland and showed up on my doorstep with flowers and chocolates. i thought they were for me but he just asked me if i thought Phil would like them and left. then there was 3 weeks ago. it was my birthday but no one realized and i spent the day watching Dan film some really weird video with Phil, something about slime or something. they held hands and at some point Dan wore Phil’s jacket???? but it’s not just Dan, whenever Dan calls my accent sexy, Phil starts doing a very insulting impersonation of an Irish accent.

Bethanie do you think this means anything? am i overthinking things? im fairly certain these things mean nothing and Dan and i are in love but i think confirmation that im just being silly from you would help a lot!

nelson... hun... im so sorry i have to break this to you... but i think your boyfriend is in love with another man..... i looked up your boyfriend and his friend phil and i watched some videos and theres this one video dan made where he basically says he's in love with phil and im so mad for you that you had to find out this information from me, i think you deserve better nelson......

#dan howell #bethanie answers #phan

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faghubby · 7 months ago

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Cuckhubby

"What do you think? Is this what you expected?" Sally asked as I watched a video of her sucking her ex boyfriends cock. I had begged her to see it. I had met Greg a few weeks ago and after He had had to much to drink he let it slip that he still had a sex video of him and Sally. After I became obsessed with seeing it. Confessing it turned me on to Sally. Sally finally caved and let me watch it. I was sitting in a chair my cock throbbing in my pants as I watched. I was amazed how Sally was taking all of him down her throat. He must be 6 maybe 7 inches. Sally had no trouble sucking me. But my barely 5 inch didn't even reach her throat.

Sally took the phone away before the video got any further. I just grabbed her and kissed her pulling onto my lap.

"Watching me suck someone else dick really turned you on" Sally said. This was all new, we had never even watched porn together.

"Can I see the rest?" I asked it came out timidly. Reaching for her phone.

"I don't think so" Sally told me. "Why do you want to see it?"

"I find it so exciting" I admitted not being able to look at her. She lifted my chin.

"Going to need more then that" Sally told me.

"Do I satisfy you?" I asked her.

"Is that what this is, yes I love you Paul" Sally told me.

"Greg is bigger" I mumbled.

"Size isn't everything" Sally assured me.

"But he pleased you more" I told her.

"Well it's just different, I get more pleasure just being with you" I kiss her again. We wound up in bed. I didn't last long turned on by the video. After we laid there.

"I would like to watch you and Greg" I told Sally as I held her. "I know I didn't make you cum"

"Don't be silly, I don't need to cum everytime" she told me.

"Now who is being silly?" I asked her. I was rock hard again just talking about this. Sally seemed annoyed.

"Here" she handed me her phone. I watched the video of Greg fucking her first doggie style then he spun her and fucked her with her leg on his shoulder.

"Satisfied" Sally said she was mad at me.

"That was so hot" I told her. I tried to roll on top of her and fuck her again.

"Stop, it turns you on watching me be a slut?" Sally scolded.

"Not a slut baby, just receiving the pleasure you deserve." I told her.

"OH no I sleep with some guy and then with you, that's a slut" Sally told me.

"What if you didn't sleep with me then?" I spilled out.

"What?" Sally said surprised. She reached out finally touching me. "What are you saying? Sally teased.

"You would give up sex with me, for what ever?" Sally teased and slowly stroked me.

"Yes, oh yes. Cuck me. Make me your bitch" I moaned. Sally stopped mid stroke.

"What does that mean?" Sally asked. I tried to hump her hand and found only air.

"Please baby!" I begged.

"No sit up, explain yourself" Sally told me.

"What's cuck me?" She asked.

"Sally can we just" I started . She picked up her phone. After a moment

"What? This want you want?" She flipped her phone she had googled cuck.

"Yesss" I hissed. Sally reached down and touched my dick again as soon as she did I exploded. All over myself. I got up to clean myself up. When I came back to bed it Sally was tucked in with the lights off. I kissed her head goodnight.

I was a little worried the next morning about what ti had confessed to last night but, Sally didn't say a word. It was just a typical morning. We both headed out to work. It was a week before I tried to initiate sex.

"Baby, I am on my period" she told me. This wasn't always a no reason. But I understood. It was several days later where I tried to initiate sex again.

"Are you sure? I been doing some reading." Sally smiled.

"What are you talking about?" I asked

"Well I read alot about how cuckolds or want to be cuckolds like to ne denied. Is that true? Would you like me to deny you sex?" Sally teased.

"Baby no, that was just you know fantasy stuff" I told her.

"Well what if I wanted to try out some of your fantasy stuff?" Sally smiled she spread her legs and pushed my head between her legs.

"Lick me thru my panties" she told me. I was willing to play along and soon had her panties soaked with my saliva and her juices. I pulled them to the side and continued.

"Go ahead and take them off" she told me. I did and she pushed my head back into position. I made her cum. She seemed to really enjoy it as well. Much more vocal and pulled my hair then usual. I then started to take off my underwear.

"That's not necessary" Sally stated stopping me.

"If you do please me like that once a day until Sunday then you can have me anyway you want. Oh and no doing it yourself" Sally challenged me.

"Any way I want?" A big grin on my face.

"Yes you freak you can even stick it in my butt" Sally told me. We had done it a few times but I knew she didn't enjoy it as much as I did. It was Thursday. I could make it to Sunday. We cuddled and I eventually my erection faded.

Sally spent the next few days teasing me nonstop. Sending me dirty pics while I was at work to rubbing me thru my jeans as we ate dinner. And every night I devoured her pussy. The hornier I got the more I tried to please her.

I woke up Sunday morning hoping to get laid.

"Tonight baby" Sally told me. I watched as she put on a thong. She never wore anything but cotton bikini panties except to bed when on special occasions. I was o$ to play golf today.

"What a are your plans today?" I asked.

"I was thinking about going to the club with you and flirting with some guys" she told me.

"What?" I was startled by her confession. She crawl we across the bed.

"You know you want me to" Sally teased kissing me. My erection throbbed in my boxers.

"I, well you can't" I babbled. She cuddled up beside me her bare breast pushing into my arm. She turned on the video of her and Greg holding it so I could see. I so wanted her.

"I could if I wanted to couldn't I? You love it if I did? What else would you like? I did alot of research cuckolds like some pretty kinky stuff" she teased. I tried to turn to get any friction on my throbbing dick. She reached into my boxers and gentle ran her fingers over me.

"Look you are so excited" Sally teased the covers now pulled back as precum formed on the tip of my dick. Her finger ran thru it and she bought it to my lips.

"Taste it" Sally smiled. I opened my mouth slightly and she slid her finger in my mouth.

"Yummy isn't it" she giggled and repeated it. She then slid down between my legs pulling my boxers off as she did. She kissed and licked my thighs and balls but avoided any contact with my dick. I was going mad with desire. When she licked my asshole. Then her tounge was replaced by her finger. She rubbed and teased my hole with her finger tip. Her other hand found a drop of precum again feeding it to me. As her finger slid in my mouth another pushed its way into my ass. Involuntary I lifted my ass giving her more access. She took it as she fingered my ass. Then added a second finger.

"Tell me what you want?" Sally hissed in my ear.

"I want to cum, please" I moaned.

"Will you eat your cum if you do?" She asked

"Yes, anything please" I begged

"You want me to Cuckold you, make you my bitch don't you?" She asked.

"God yes, it's so hot" I moaned.

"You like this?" She asked pushing her fingers hard into my ass. I just wimpered like a girl. Suddenly her mouth engulfed my dick. I came as soon as her tounge wrapped around the head. She milked every drop. Then kissed me. She had not swallowed and fed me my own spern. I was forced to swallow. Sally continued to pump her fingers in and out of my ass.

"One last thing since you want to be my bitch I think you should wear my thong to play golf today" she told me. I just nodded as she removed her fingers. After a few minutes of laying there in silence I got up and went to shower. I was stunned by what had just happened but also excited about it. When I got out Sally was waiting she held a white thong it was cotton but the waist ban was a wide lace. She didn't say a word just knelt and had me step into them. Then pulled them into place.

I wanted to throw Sally on the bed and take her.

"Stop" she said as I pawed at her. "You have to get going to make your tee time"

"I rather spend the day with you" I told her.

"You made a commitment" she said as if reminding a child of their promise. I got dressed to go play golf. Still horny even after the best orgasm in my life. Wearing her panties thru off my game I couldn't focus. My mind clouded of images of my wife. I even imagined my golf buddies bending her over right on the course and fucking her one after the other. It didn't help that Sally flooded my messages with picks of her, but also of women getting fucked as their husband's watched, or sucking cum out of their used pussy.

"I want to stretch that horny ass of yours" she texted at one point. Then she sent a pic of the boy who lived next door. 19 or 20 home from college. He was working in the yard in just a pair of shorts.

"I want to feel him inside me, tell me I can" she texted. I don't know why but I responded

"That would be so hot, yes fuck him" as soon as I hit send I wanted to take it back. I went straight home after we finished 18.

I walked in the house but no Sally. I looked out the kitchen window to see the shed open. I went to call out to her when I caught a glimpse of Sally bare ass. And a man's hand on it. I just stared out the window hoping to see more. But didn't 10 minutes later Jacob the kid from next door came out of the shed. Followed a moment later by Sally. She looked a mess. Jacob headed home through the gate and Sally came inside. She saw me at the window.

"You are back early, cuck" she smiled. She cane over and kissed me. "Take me to bed" she jumped into my arms.

"We used a condom, so maybe next time you can taste him' Sally said as she stripped naked as soon as we reached the bedroom. She then pulled off my shorts and stroked me thru her thong.

"You were excited today wearing my thong" she giggled noticing the dry circles of precum that had kept leaking every time I got an erection. I gave her two orgasms with my tounge. Before she finished me with a hand job. Again feeding me my own cum.

"things will change alot around here" she told me, as I drifted off to a nap. I woke about 2 hours later still wearing Sally's thong. I found Sally in the kitchen on her laptop. I had only grabbed my robe. As soon as Sally saw me she untied my robe and rubbed my soft dick.

"Take off the robe" Sally said.

"I set uo a tinder account, to meet hung men to pleasure me" she told me as I stood in front of her in just her thong.

"I ordered this as well" she turned the screen to show me. There was a chastity cage on the screen. "Would you wear it for me, under your panties?" She again rubbed me. I grew in her thong. I nodded not wanting to answer. "I got this too" she smiled and clicked showing me a strapon dildo. She pulled me close her hand groping my ass.

"You aren't just a cuckold are you? You want to he a sissy? Want me to make you suck a cock? Maybe even get it up the ass by a big cock?" She continued all the while she rubbed me thru her panties. I wanted to cum again but she stopped and left me wanting.

Again Sally teased me all week, if I even suggested sex she had me wear a pair of her panties for a day. I loved all the attention but so wanted to cum. Sally had me go down on her only once a few days later. But constantly reminded me I was not to touch myself

I woke startled one morning as Sally held an ice back against my balls. I tried to complain but she silenced me and locked on the chastity cage. I looked up and saw the strapon and lube also on the bed.

"I could of gotten the smaller cage" Sally giggled. She then rubbed something hard and cold against my asshole. She applied force and pushed it in. She worked it alittle before it sucked in and set. It felt huge. I jumped up and saw a plug missing from an anal training set.

"Go shower" Sally ordered I got up it felt odd to walk with my ass stuffed. And I realized I had to sit to pee. Not being able to direct my looked penis. When I got out of the shower Sally helped me step into a pink lace thong. It was so girlie I thought I had never seen Sally wear anything like it. She handed me an armfull of sexy panties in bright colors.

"These are you're everyday panties now" she told me. I had to still go to work I thought.

" I have a date tonight" Sally told me. I was shocked by just looked at the floor. Saly didn't say another word just finished getting ready and left for work. I found myself struggling to get going. Just before I left I called Sally

"May I, the plug is" I didn't know how to ask.

"Paulie you don't have to wear the plug to work" Sally told me.

"Thank you" I said relieved and removed it before I headed to work.

It was after lunch that Sally texted me.

/do you remember Andy my co worker/

/yes/ I responded. I had met him several times over the years. He was an older properly by 10 years.

She then sent me a dick pic. I guessed was Andy. Then a pic of her stretched pussy.

/I feel like I just can't say no, now that I know you want this/ she texted.

/is this your date tonight/ I asked

/no, that's another man/ she then sent me another dick pic. This one of a hung black man.

I sat up half the night I went from crying, to being angry. I tried to call her over and over again.

It was after 9pm when Sally came home. I was relieved. One look at her and I knew she had gone through with it all. Sally undressed me right in hallway. I wasn't wearing panties instead I had but on a pair of my boxers.

"What's this about? You think you can try and be a man again?" Sally asked.

"Sally this has gone too far" I pleaded

"Nope, now you are lying to not only me but yourself" Sally told me I stood naked in front of her with my dick trying to get hard in my cage. She smacked my ass.

"You want more then this" Sally told me.

"You want me to totally control you, you want me to humiliate you" Sally told me. She smacked my cage. I flinched. "You are going to suck a real man's cum out of my cunt" I again began to cry.

"What has happened to you, I thought I married a man and now you are just a little bitch" Sally told me. She pushed me to my knees. I reached up and pulled under her skirt she wore no panties, Sally stepped closer pushing her dirty cunt into my face. I didn't hesitate I licked and sucked cum from her. Globs of cum slid down my throat.

"That's right bitch, you know what you are" Sally cursed. She never acted like this. I was so excited. She leaned against the wall as I cleaned every drop of cum out of her. I was still on my knees.

"You know you want to be a sissy bitch. I don't ever want to see you try and wear boy undies again. No I want you to shave yourself smooth. And learn your place.

"Now tell me, how much you want to be my little cunt bitch" Sally told me.

"Yes, make me your bitch" I moaned. She pulled my hair till I stood up and led me to the bedroom by my cage.

"On the bed" she ordered. I laid on the bed. "No bitch like you want it" she told me. As she pulled out her strap on. I swallowed hard and rolled over. "Ass up cunt" she pushed my head into a pillow. Sally went slow applying lube and working her fingers opening up my ass. She eventually worked her toy into my ass again she went slow. But soon was fucking me with long stokes.

"That's it my little faggot husband" Sally said smacking my ass. After about 10 minutes she stopped and pulled out she removed the toy and collapsed on the bed.

"Get this all cleaned up before you go to bed" she told me. I cleaned up the toy and put the lube away. I also picked up her clothes and put on a pair of my panties. Charged her phone. Then tucked her in before joining her. My ass was sore as I held her and drifted off to sleep.

I woke in the morning to Sally pushing a dildo into my mouth.

"Wake up bitch" she said as I gagged

"You will have to learn to appreciate hard cock in the morning" Sally told me. She then stopped. And got up. Sally showered as I just laid in bed. Only after did I get up. I found Sally had laid out hair removal gel, razors, even a perfume after shave lotion. I knew what she wanted and shaved. I wasn't able to shave around the cage. It took awhile but when I finished I wrapped a towel around me and went to find Sally. Sally was texting someone.

"I couldn't finish" I said timidly. Exposing my cage. Sally giggled. And then led me back to the bathroom. She unlocked the cage. And watched as I finished shaving. She gently stroked my hard dick.

"It seems so small, maybe because he was so big last night" Sally told me. "I didn't satisfy you last night you must be so horny" she led me to the bed.

"On the bed" Sally commanded. Again I laid on my back. She looked at me disappointed as she opened the drawer where I had put her strapon. I frowned and rolled over sticking my ass in the air. She got behind me.

"You know what you want that's good" Sally said and worked her cock in me again.

"I will fuck you every day just like you want" Sally told me as she drove her toy deep in my ass. "Don't you dare cum without asking me" Sally warned me. After a few minutes Sally reached under me and stroked my dick. It only took a few before I came all over the bed.

"I told you to ask first" Sally said disappointed. She pushed my face down in my own puddle of cum. As she did she smacked my ass.

"Stay there don't move" Sally warned me then smacked me over and over. I found myself licking up the cum from the sheets without being told.

"Thank you Sally, thank you for everything" I moaned as she left me there on the bed.

"Get this room cleaned up before you start on the mess you left in the bathroom" Sally laughed.before walking out of the bedroom

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