#I wasn't originally intending to make her trans

[opal-sparks]

Somehow, the idea of Opal as a princess in the Super Mario Bros. universe managed to get me to actually draw something. It kind of reminded me to just try to have fun with my art once in a while, and not always be so hellbent on trying to make big pieces.

Opal is the princess of the Starlight Kingdom, a land that specializes in defensive magic. She is a transwoman*, and absolutely loves cute, frilly dresses. While she is recognized as a woman, and as a princess within her own kingdom, she does have some troubles with a kingdom or two. She is a bit shy, and more reserved. One of her best friends is Birdie, and is good friends with Luigi.

*Only this specific iteration of Opal is trans. And no, I will NOT be answering any creepy questions about her. Please respect trans people in the comments, or don't say anything at all if you cannot be respectful.

[jacebeleren]

It bothers me so much that the only transfem rep in mtg cards is this like. Soldier military woman, like 'ooh look at this guy's we made a trans woman who's a part of a war machine' fantastic thank you magic very original

=========

Okay.

First of all, there is no "our" interpretation of the text. My thoughts are my own, and your thoughts are your own. Some of our thoughts might align, but I will not allow you to speak for me.

Second, I am sorry you feel so disappointed in the current state of transgender representation in Magic. I understand your concerns and I think they're valid concerns.

Third, your concerns being valid does not mean I agree with what you have to say, though. Don't come into my inbox complaining unless you're ready for me to honestly respond. Respectfully, your approach to these concerns makes it clear to me that you don't actually understand what you're talking about.

It's apparent that you follow me or have at least seen many of my posts. You appear to respect my opinions / analysis (at least regarding Jace and Tezzeret). So listen to me when I say this:

What constitutes 'good' representation is context-dependent, and it's not something you alone get to decide.

Yes, Alesha is a "soldier military woman", as you said. I understand that you have this complaint because you believe this makes Alesha an example of the stereotype that trans women are violent. But context matters. What you're failing to consider is the fact that she comes from the Mardu Horde, a faction on Tarkir inspired by the Mongol hordes of real-world history. In this context, Alesha isn't presented as violent because she's a trans woman. She's violent because she literally comes from a warrior clan based on one of the greatest military forces in human history. And honestly, with Magic being a combat-centric game, she's not any more violent than any non-Mardu Legends, either.

Do you seriously think a story about a trans woman fighting to proudly declare her trans identity in her culture and later becoming the accomplished and well-respected leader of her clan is bad representation? Does the fact that she's a warrior really outweigh the rest of the lovingly crafted trans narrative they created for her, to you?

It's fine if you feel that way. You don't have to like Alesha or her story. But just because something wasn't made for your taste doesn't mean it's bad writing / bad representation.

Anyway, I highly recommend you read Alesha's story, "The Truth of Names", since it seems like you haven't read it yet. It's a fantastic story-- the most beloved short story in all of Magic, actually. It was the most-read article on the entire Magic website for like 5 years, according to WOTC.

And if you're interested in learning more about transfem characters in Magic who aren't Alesha, I recommend you read about Xantcha, who first appears in the novel "Planeswalker".

Next, I need to make things clear about Ashiok.

Ashiok was never intended to be nonbinary representation. Ashiok was created to be a mysterious, unknowable villain. What makes Ashiok special is that we are not mean to know anything about Ashiok. We do not know Ashiok's species or plane of origin, for example. Another part of that element of mystery is not knowing Ashiok's gender, or how Ashiok identifies. Ashiok's original style guide from Theros explicitly instructs people to not use any pronouns for Ashiok at all (which I still follow because old habits are hard to break.) Official Magic sources did not begin to use they/them pronouns for Ashiok until 2022, in the story "A Garden of Flesh" (another excellent story, BTW.) And they only started using they/them for Ashiok because it is really hard to write a story where the character is mentioned that many times without pronouns.

All this to say: Ashiok as intentional nonbinary representation is certainly not the narrative WOTC is pushing.

Yes, there are many fans of Ashiok who interpret Ashiok as nonbinary, but those are their thoughts and you need not concern yourself with that, if it bothers you so.

As for Niko, it's weird that you say they're "non-existent" in Magic story when 2 of the 5 side stories ("Know Which Way the Wind is Blowing" and "Aim Through the Target") in their debut set Kaldheim were entirely focused on Niko. They're also a starring main character in 15 of the 25 issues of the BOOM! Studios Magic comics.

I'm glad you like my analysis of Jace and Tezzeret as transgender characters. Thank you for that, genuinely. But I want you to understand that the reason I have these interpretations is because I love Magic Story. And more importantly, I actually read it. I love Magic Story, and I have so much respect for the Magic Narrative team and the work they do.

What most people don't understand is that the Magic Narrative Team is in fact very careful and very loving in their approach to queer representation. You may not know this about me, but I'm friends with A LOT of people who formerly or currently work on Magic / Magic Story. Knowing these people personally, I know for a fact that the Magic creative Team does not create queer characters for "diversity points". They're not just checking boxes. The Magic creative team creates queer characters because the Magic creative team is full of queer people and allies who want to tell stories that reflect their own + fans' experiences. And they have to constantly fight to include more / better queer representation in Magic. They want good queer representation in Magic just as much as we do.

Am I going to defend everything they do? No! Are they perfect? No! They are just people. They make mistakes and they have blind spots. For example, in my essay about my analysis of Jace as a trans man, I explain that the reason my interpretation means so much to me is because there is currently zero meaningful representation for trans men in Magic canon. There are zero transgender male characters in Magic canon who have names. That's a HUGE blind spot considering the number of canon trans characters! That's something that disappoints and upsets me.

I'm not afraid to criticize Magic Story, and I do so very often. But I am critical of Magic story because I love it. My criticism does not equal hatred or unhappiness.

Sorry to hear that their efforts at including better trans representation in Magic would piss you off. I'm sorry that you've given up.

Lastly, I think Liliana is cis, but that's just my headcanon.

[echo-s-land]

French queer playlist because why not

Comme ils disent by Charles Aznavour (1972) | about a gay man, he cross-dresses too. Don't really know how to explain that one. It's great, it aged really well (Aznavour was a straight man but he had several queer friends)

Sans Contrefaçon by Mylène Farmer (1987) | wasn't actually written with trans masculinity in mind, but it's a trans masc anthem at this point

Ziggy (un garçon pas comme les autres) by Céline Dion (1991; the original cover/song was in 1978 tho) | girl falls in love with her friend, a gay teen - is sad for herself but doesn't insult him or anything

College boy by Indochine (2013) | a song I found not so long after figuring out my own queerness so it has a special place in my heart. lots of cw for the visual clip (homophobia, bullying, conservatism, police violence, religious hypocrisy, physical assault, crucifixion)

J'ai le droit aussi by Calogero (2014) | gay teenager wants to live like he wants, is scared of other's view/judgement on him (including his parents)

Mohammed je t'aime by Gargäntua (2015) | being gay in the hood is like everywhere else - it may not be a good idea to be public about it. lots of cw for the visual clip (physical assault, homophobia, internalized homophobia, suicide). I hope one day Gargäntua will make a song about Mohammed finding happiness because he clearly deserves it if not for the trauma in this song

comme les autres by keen'v (2015) | gay man (teen?) coming out to his father, father is homophobic

C'est toi qu'elle préfère by Alice et Moi (2017) | sapphic anthem at this point; unrequited love

Normal by Eddy de Pretto (2018) | gay man responding to an homophobe (honestly i find it very satisfying)

Grave by Eddy de Pretto (2018) | the singer is an openly gay man, he talks to a wide range of different gay boys/teens/men and are telling them to not worry when they discover their homosexuality; that it's okay

Séduction by Joanna (2018) | bi woman falls in love with another woman

Ta reine by Angèle (2018) | wlw.

Amour censure by Hoshi (2019) | Hoshi is an openly lesbian singer; the song denounces homophobia

Immoral & Illégal by Gargäntua (2022) | 'Everything I love is immoral and illegal' - if that's not a queer feeling. More seriously, it's more me deciding to interpret the song this way then the song being about queerness. Still, whether you listen to this song and think about addiction, queerness, or any marginalized community, well.. well you can't change my mind about it having (intended or not) queer subtext

La mort avec toi by Gargäntua (2022) | literally 'partners in crimes', I decided it was queer for various reasons but you may not think like me

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

Hugo Novellas 2024

Did not read: Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher.

I swore off Kingfisher after her novel that won the Hugo last year. I looked at the overbearingly twee description of this concluded that there's no chance I'd enjoy it so I skipped.

I might read another of Kingfisher's books someday but she isn't getting an nth chance to win me over today.

5. The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older

An author who I did give a second chance by reading this. While it's a vast improvement over the last book I read by Older it's not enough of one.

It's set on a gas giant with a rail line circling the planet where people live on platforms along the line. The worldbuilding is on the surface interesting but can lack depth at times. For example the academic debates in the setting feel like they've been playing out for a few years (or less in some cases) instead of the centuries the setting suggests.

The novella is a hybrid murder mystery-romance. A detective Mossa contacts her Pleiti old girlfriend who is now an academic in the classics department (notably not the same discipline as classics in our times) to help her solve a mystery after another academic disappears and is presumed either to have killed himself or died. The mystery elements are competently executed; the romance less so.

It feels very self indulgent in ways that don't fit. Mossa literally starts referring to Pleiti as “my dear Pleiti" which just leaves me wondering are we meant to take this as Mossa making a deliberate reference to Holmes or what exactly.

(And this is petty and not on the book/author but everyone keeps describing the novella as "cozy" and cozy has a specific meaning for crime fiction which doesn't apply here and it bugs me.)

There are endless descriptions of food which I'm not against on principle but it's often the same food over and over and over again. Scones, scones and more scones. I like scones but at least shake it up a little!

None of these are severe problems but the best parts of the book are rarely more than okay so there's nothing to make up for it's shortcomings elsewhere.

4. "Seeds of Mercury" by Wang Jinkang (trans. Alex Woodend)

The initial premise of this novella has a fun reversal of the "inheriting a fortune from a distant relative" plot where the protagonist is already a rich businessman and inherits a quixotic scientific venture which is an endless money sink - nanomachines that could evolve like biological life over millennia.

Beyond that general concept many of the specific details reminded me of the Futurama episode A Clockwork Origin to the point I'm curious if someone on the Futurama staff read it when it was originally published in Chinese (although it's entirely possible they were inspired by other works of SF with similar plots instead).

It cuts back and forth between the present and sections sets in the distant future. The sections set in the present are much stronger for the most part and they never quite feel they gel together.

There's a disabled character who has an appearance that people view as hideous and he's presented sympathetically but the way it's dealt with was clumsy at best.

While I said above that the present sections are stronger even there the characters often feel wooden and unrealistic.

The central idea behind this novella is fine even if nothing terribly original. The execution however doesn't entirely work. This proves to be common to everything in this story. There's a lot of potential in all it's aspects but in the end that potential is never fully realised.

3. Rose/House by Arkady Martine

This wasn't the worst novella of this bunch but it was by far the most disappointing. I didn't have any expectations of Wang Jinkang and went in to Older's novella knowing it was likely I wouldn't enjoy it but Martine's Teixcalaan duology is great and I've been intending to read Rose/House since it came out.

It opens with a death in Rose House - a house that is an A.I. created by world famous architect Basit Deniau considered his greatest architectural triumph.

The death, suspected of being a murder, forms the impetus for the plot. Selene Gisil, a former student who denounced Deniau and who he named as his heir, is the only person who the A.I. will leave access the house (for one week a year) and is called back by the local police so they can investigate.

It's one of those increasingly common near future settings where everything is worse because of climate changes and it's downstream effects but that's largely background rather than focused on.

Perhaps the greatest disappointment of the book is the house just isn't that interesting. The A.I. as a character is as interesting as any of the others but the physical house itself didn't enthrall me. If you're going to make Rose House and architecture so central to the book the house itself needs to grab your attention and stick in your mind when you finish reading and it didn't.

We rotate between the POVs of Gisil and two local police officers. The story starts strong and gradually peters out until it comes to an end and you find yourself thinking "that's all?"

Martine is an talented author and there are moments that shines through. Ultimately though while she's a great author this book doesn't show her at her best.

2. Mammoth at the Gates by Nghi Vo

The latest entry in Nghi Vo's Singing Hills Cycle. It again follows Cleric Chih of the Singing Hills Monastery. Chih's order is tasked with with finding, recording and remembering stories of the past and they have talking hoopoe spirits with perfect memories as companions to help them with this task.

Instead of being out searching for stories to record this entry sees Chih return to the Monastery and meeting up with old friends including Always Brilliant his hoopoe companion. When Chih arrives back he finds his mentor Thien (who was once royalty) has died and there are, per the title, mammoth at the gates. The mammoths have been brought by Thien's grandaughters who are seeking to take his remains while the monks wish his funeral to be in accordance with their own customs.

This entry is not particularly spectacular or groundbreaking but it does what it sets out to do and it does it well. If you enjoyed the others books in this series you'll most likely enjoy this one too. It's portrayal of grief and change is powerful and moving. It also has moments of joy and cuteness that avoid being cloying.

It’s a good book. I wouldn’t necessarily nominate it for an award myself but I can see why others would.

"Life Does Not Allow Us to Meet" by He Xi (trans Alex Woodend)

This was the standout best of the novellas nominated this year. A novella about two new astronauts and the old astronaut (named like the author He Xi) who guides them who have been recruited to return to a water planet named the Caspian Sea. A previous mission ended in disaster with a woman He Xi loved being killed and warning the known route was too dangerous. A new route has now been discovered and they have been sent back to the planet. A return over 50 years in the making.

There are frequent awkward infodumps. At one point a character explains he's infodumping because he wrote his thesis on the subject which is all the justification needed but before and after there are no attempts to justify characters infodumping or it being dropped directly in the narrative. It's strange because some elements of the story are dripfed in a carefully measured manner but it doesn't even bother trying for anything else.

I wouldn't say romance is centre stage to the book exactly but love, including romantic love, and how it affects people is something the story focuses on.

Thematically it deals with heavy subjects: colonialism, genocide and whether contact with alien species would inevitably lead to conflict and war. It's matter of fact in how it relays atrocities which combined with some unsettling imagery only serves to make them more chilling. The story's handling of these subjects isn't flawless but I found it compelling.

So much of my thoughts about this novella hinge on the ending which is impossible to discuss without giving the whole story away. I may make another spoiler filled post about it at some point.

It's not perfect but out of the five I've read it’s easily the best novella among them. Highly recommended. As near as I can tell it's the only story of his that has been translated into English. Hopefully this will win and spur more translations of his work.

General Thoughts

Overall I think this is a weak year for the novella category. There's nothing terrible nominated but He Xi's is the only standout. Comparing it to other recent years every other year has 2-3 novellas I'd rank above the other five here.

[darael]

Regarding Imane Khelif and Angela Carini

I originally made a version of this post in response to one about how Angela Carini wasn't to blame for the massive wave of nonsense that has been directed at Imane Khelif; about how her perfectly reasonable emotions (and some actions based on those that she regrets) were being used to make her an icon of a hate movement she does not support. About how both of them were victims of misogyny in this situation.

This is gonna be a long post, folks, so buckle in.

The problem is, there's reason to believe Angela Carini fully intended what she sparked, and is not sincere in her apology. Before we get into that, though, I want to emphasise some things:

Even if I am right and Angela Carini is some combination of racist, intersexist, transphobic, and/or willing to exploit these bigotries for her own benefit, that will not justify misogyny towards her. We can criticise her actions and inferred intentions without relying purely on sexist or misogynistic tropes and slurs.

Defending one woman by tearing down another is a dynamic that's been used misogynistically many times in the past, but

Talking about "white women's tears" is not actually that when the thing described actually fits another pattern seen in racial-justice circles: white people, but especially white women, do often weaponise crying and claims of injury (whether physical or emotional) to get disproportionate harm done to people of colour and especially Black people. This results from an intersection of racism and patriarchy, in which white women are treated as fragile and inherently in need of protection from "savages" and men. The underlying premise is misogynistic but women with the requisite privilege can still weaponise it.

The attacks on Imane Khelif are transmisogynistic (because they rely on the trope of the predatory, violent trans woman), intersexist (because they rely on claims that she's intersex, and that this would make her more prone to violence), and racist (because the denial of women of colour's femininity, the making of their access to the social class of "womanhood" conditional, has been a long-standing part of white supremacy). These things are true even though Khelif is not trans and is not known to be intersex, because bigotry doesn't care if its direct victims are actually the ones intended. She is a cisgender, likely-perisex woman of colour who is experiencing misogynoir, intersexism, and transmisogyny.

Got it? Good.

Now, then. First, some background:

At the Olympics, in the 66kg women's boxing, Imane Khelif from Algeria was up against Angela Carini from Italy for her first match (in the second round; she got a bye from the first due to seeding). Khelif had formerly been disqualified from a 2023 tournament run by the International Boxing Association (IBA) under… suspicious circumstances. Despite having passed "gender testing" the year before, she was suddenly re-tested and disqualified mid-tournament after she beat a Russian boxer. It is worth noting that the head of the IBA is Russian, and under his leadership the Association's only sponsor is the Russian fossil-fuel company Gazprom, and that the IBA has been barred from participation in the Olympics due to rampant corruption (the Olympic Committee handled qualifiers directly since there wasn't an alternative association to turn to) — so you can see why this is suspect. The IBA claimed that Khelif's testosterone was not tested, but "another recognised test was used", the nature of which the organisation refuses to disclose. The head of the IBA said on Telegram that Khelif had XY chromosomes, but he is hardly a trustworthy source and the organisation has not confirmed his claim. Even if it's true, Imane Khelif was assigned female at birth, raised as a girl, and has passed all the (transphobic and intersexist) Olympic committee's medical eligibility tests; she categorically does not have a meaningful sex-derived advantage over other women.

Angela Carini was injured from her first-round fight, but chose to take part in the second round anyway. After taking two blows in her fight against Khelif, she withdrew. The match took 46 seconds, which is certainly short, but not fantastically so. She broke down in tears and said something that could be translated as "it's not fair!" or "it's not right!", but this could be construed as frustration over her Olympic dreams (and especially a promise she apparently made to her father that she'd go all the way) being broken. Similarly with the way she refused to shake the hand of the woman to whom she'd just conceded a match. She also made comments to the effect that she'd never been punched so hard. In response to this, transphobes, intersexists, and racists accused Imane Khelif of some combination of being trans, being intersex, and faking her gender (though of course they did not use these terms; their claims were that she was secretly a man). As mentioned above, there is zero reliable evidence that this is the case, but that hasn't stopped bigots from running with it.

Here are the things I wish to point out about Angela Carini's behaviour:

Before the match, she put out a (now-deleted) tweet calling Imane Khelif un uomo — "a man":

This suggests she was cozying up to those seeking to disqualify Khelif on racist grounds well before the match actually started.

Since the match but before her apology, her coach has described her as seeing herself as "a paladin" for a cause:

This suggests she actively embraced the transphobia and intersexism that was promoted in her name.

She's also boasted about how since the match she visited Italy's vehemently transphobic, and indeed outright fascist, leader, who "welcomed her like a daughter", which certainly isn't conclusive but isn't a great look. I don't have the source for this one on hand, sorry.

But Carini apologised, right? Well, kind of. She apologised for refusing to shake Imane Khelif's hand after their bout. She said she'd embrace her. She also said "if the IOC said she can fight, I respect that decision" — which might appear reasonable on the surface but also actively plays into the idea that there's some reason the IOC might not have said she could fight. She also also said "It could have been the match of a lifetime, but I had to preserve my life as well in that moment", which could be a genuine expression of an athlete's need to take care of their body, but also feeds neatly into the "this freakishly strong brute could have killed Angela Carini!" narrative that her allegedly-unwanted supporters were already using. Further, the closest she came to apologising for anything other than refusing to shake Imane Khelif's hand is "all this controversy makes me sad", which is… not actually an apology. All quotes in this paragraph were from Carini via the linked Ground News post.

I have seen allegations, but I'm not claiming this to be the case because I haven't examined the evidence, that Carini has a history of faking an ankle injury to end a fight against a stronger boxer in 2022. I mention this for completeness, but it's also worth saying that even if true, while this might suggest a propensity for exaggerating the extent of an injury, in the match against Imane Khelif she was visibly bleeding when she withdrew, and her broken nose from her previous match would also have been difficult to fake.

In my conclusion: it is my belief that Angela Carini was a willing participant, not an innocent pawn, in the racist, transphobic, intersexist, and plain misogynistic (not to mention baseless!) allegations made against Imane Khelif. I acknowledge her partial apology, but it strikes me as an attempt to evade being held responsible for what her actions caused rather than a genuine one. Even if she is sincere, it seems to me that this would represent a thought process along the lines of "this got out of hand" rather than "I did something wrong". You don't have to agree with me, of course. What evidence I have is now in your hands, and you must make up your own mind.

[sophieinwonderland]

On The Survivor's Network Admin's "Apology"

As many know, the Admin of the Survivors' Network made an awful post about me back in November. In the recent document from the Survivors' Network, it included the admin's "apology" to the server, and I wanted to address that.

The Original Post

Pictures of the original post are at the bottom under the Keep Reading. TW in advance for fakeclaiming, transphobia, misgendering, bullying, etc.

The "Apology"

When the post resurfaced this year, the admin had this to say in the Survivor’s Network: i am going to be fully transparent. i am the one who made that post, on November 28th of 2022. it was a shitty post. but ugh. i don’t know. i was in an abusive situation i was still in denial about and taking my anger out where i felt it was righteous. i had been trying to stay away from syscourse for similar reasons, but i’ve got a part i failed to keep track of there. and that is shitty. i was just so pissed that, just like she is now, she was only afloat after some terrible shit coming up because of claiming oppression she neither understands or actually experiences. i was so fucking upset, as a trans person, that she had repeatedly waxed about being and identifying as cis and then as soon as it benefit her claimed that she was oppressed in the same way trans people are. it fucking hurt to see that and to see so many people just accepting it— because that was why she said it. not because she actually believed it, but because it put her back in good standing to have a few more made-up oppression points. and then i did the Really Shitty thing and i decided to break through the Sophie Wall and talk directly to the host. and i got really fakeclaimy, and i regret the fuck out of that. if i could go back and have not made that post, i would. it’s private now, and, for full transparency, if any of you want to see the full post i can send it but in honestly ashamed by it now. i don’t care whether or not sophie is experiencing what she says she is, i don’t want other people to see that and be hurt by it. i just. ugh. i was being an idiot. in the place i am now, i’d never make a post like that. i feel really bad about it. it was immature and a very obvious display of lack of inhibition on my part. it does highlight where i think i’m still in need of s lot of growth, though, and reminds me i do need to continue to work with [alters name that I am not going to include in this incredibly public post, for system privacy] in therapy. i do also want to apologize to you all for doing this. i wasn’t leading by example. i wasn’t being mature. i was spitting vitriol, something that especially now, more than ever, with my current religious/spiritual growth and my personal growth in therapy, never feel is okay. i used to be a very hateful person towards people that i felt were wronging me and/or my community, and this is no exception to that. i regret it deeply, and can only rectify  that by promising that i have been growing and will continue to grow as time goes on. i’m really sorry. and i’m sorry that i didn’t deal with that post sooner— i would have if i had remembered it was there. i actually need to go through all my oldest posts, some of them are pretty bad.

Who the apology was for...

To be clear, this was not an apology to me.

It did not express any regret whatsoever at how it might have affected me. They express that they're concerned about other people being hurt by it and that they're sorry to the Survivors' Network for not leading by example. But they don't seem overly bothered by its impact on the person it was about.

Which is fine. I don't care. I'm not asking for an apology, and certainly wouldn't want them to fake one for my benefit. But since that one ask suggested I was given apologies, I suspect they might have mistook this post made in the Discord server... which wasn't intended for me, didn't express guilt over how it affected me, and wasn't in a place I could even find it unless I had a spy in the server... as an apology to me. I just wanted to establish for the record that this apology was worded in a way that it was directed at basically everyone but me.

Reasons are given in the document why they chose not to reach out and thought it would be a bad idea. And while those may have truth to them, this post reads as if they don't feel guilt for how this might have impacted me.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if that is the case, then I'm genuinely thankful they didn't try to give me some fake apology they didn't mean. I don't need and don't want it.

That's not what I wanted to talk about though.

Yes, Cis-Identifying Headmates With Different Genders Than The Body's AGAB Are Still Oppressed In The Same Way Trans People Are!

Let's zero in on this...

i was so fucking upset, as a trans person, that she had repeatedly waxed about being and identifying as cis and then as soon as it benefit her claimed that she was oppressed in the same way trans people are.

Do you think that the reason trans people are oppressed is because cis people just really hate the word trans?

That if trans people just called themselves by a different label, they'd totally be accepted in society?

No. Of course not!

And likewise, just because cis-identifying headmates with different genders from the body's AGAB don't identify as trans, that doesn't mean that they aren't oppressed in the same way trans people are.

That doesn't mean they won't be directly impacted by the way society treats any GNC people, and even much of the transphobic legislation being passed right now!

Transphobia isn't actually hatred of just the people who call themselves trans. It's hatred of people with different genders from their AGAB and GNC people, regardless of if they call themselves transgender or not.

On Why I Identify as Cis...

First, the most obvious reason I identify as cis is because I am. As far as I'm concerned, my inner form is my true form. And it's always been assigned female. What our shared body's assigned gender is doesn't matter to me.

But I will make a confession: the reason I talk about being cis so much, the reason I flaunt it, is to make a statement.

There was a very infuriating bit of sysmed gatekeeping last year that argued that headmates can't identify as transgender if their gender is the same as their AGAB.

I found this incredibly hypocritical given that almost all systems have non-transgender headmates with differing genders from the body's AGAB, but they're not forced to label themselves as transgender.

At the same time, they also don't publicly call themselves cis despite feeling cis on the inside.

So my goal of bringing up being cis frequently is to challenge accepted norms for systems. To normalize publicly identifying as cis headmates, and by extension, to normalize headmates with the same gender as the body's AGAB identifying as trans.

If people have a problem with trans-identifying headmates with a different gender from their body's AGAB, then they should also have a problem with cis headmates with a different one. And that means the vast majority of the plural community.

I call myself cis, all the time, to get people to think seriously about how we conceptualize gender when it comes to systems.

But identifying as cis doesn't mean I don't experience gender dysphoria while fronting, nor does it magically stop me or any other cis-identifying headmates from being victims of the same oppression we would face if we identified as transgender instead.

On Having Room To Grow

It was nice to apologize to the other people who saw it.

But this apology still doubles down on some of the most harmful points. It denies the oppression systems with cis-identifying headmates face, and practically presents our gender identities as less valid than those of trans-identifying people.

And in this way, they fail to understand a huge part of WHY their original post was bad.

Yes, the fakeclaiming was awful, and could easily send people into derealization spirals. The language itself was cruel and verbally abusive.

But let's not ignore the huge problem with the premise itself. The whole ideology it's built on that the only way GNC people can be oppressed is by explicitly identifying as trans. That discrimination against systems for our genders isn't as bad as discrimination against transgender people.

And this is something that I sincerely hope the user and anyone in the system community who agrees with them, can grow out of.

The Original Post:

Oh, and no one in our system has ever used 4Chan. 🤷‍♀️

[piosplayhouse]

I like the idea of transbian bingqiu, but I'm uncomfortable that Shen Yuan's chest is referred to as "flatties" in a context where she is both trans and had a double mastectomy, since these women are often mocked for their flat chests. It feels like her body is the butt of a joke about her being "extra flat" or that it's funny Binghe would be attracted to her chest, and she only is because she's weird and horny for Shen Yuan. I know it probably wasn't your intention, and it's a joke, but the emphasis and word choice is sort of hurtful.

I completely understand your discomfort and deeply regret the implications behind those posts; I should have made it more clear that the meme redraw and subsequent au drabbles were not intended to be connected to each other and really do want to apologize for that. It was my error and I take full responsibility-- regardless of my intentions, I didn't make my thoughts clear enough and I understand and sympathize with anyone who felt harmed by them.

For what it's worth, the original "I wanna lick her flatties" drawing was really just a one off meme redraw that didn't have any deep thinking behind it, I just thought it would be funny to draw as bingqiu so I did. Because it was just a direct trace of a meme about 2 cis women I thought I'd just leave it open ended whether or not they're trans, though my friends in general are transfem sqq enthusiasts so there was probably some unconscious headcanon bias sprinkled in there. I'm flat myself so when I saw the meme I was sort of just like oh lol that's a funny alternative to fat titties

I drew sqq older mainly as an homage to one of my friend's modern sqq designs, but from then got to thinking about what an older cast would look like and do because it's so rare to see aus set during a time when the characters would be middle aged. I thought if sqq was about 40 or so in the picture then sqh would have to be 60, so I drew 60 yr old sqh and had a lot of fun thinking about all the things she could have experienced and all the stages of life she would have gone through in 60 years, so I wanted to expand on that and also think about the human conditions that aren't usually shown in fandom art/aus. The next day, I read a cumplane fic with chronically ill sy that I liked so I was thinking about different recurrent/chronic illnesses that older women experience which have little representation in media.

In this way, it sort of spiraled out from a thoughtless meme redraw into a whole separate thing that only really happened because I was thinking about middle aged sqq, but that's not an excuse and I'm sorry for hurting you anon.

[velvetvexations]

I also should have looked up the statistics to double check before sending my original ask, but I was referring to a specific news story I followed about a black men attempting to gain custody of his child, only for the mother to get it despite her history not severe neglect, and the child ended up dying in her care. I didn't want to spell that all out bcs it's an incredibly painful thing to think about, but I should have specified what I was referring to. That is also def not just a result of misogyny, but of racism, since black men are often seen to be absent or even dangerous parents. I am sure there are cases where men have an easier time getting custody, especially rich white men, but as will all situations the story is more complicated when you bring in intersectionality and especially race. I just think it's important to remember that a black man wasn't just being denied his child because he was black, the specific way society views black *men* was part of the problem.

As for the working in more dangerous jobs point, I brought that up because yes, men do tend to work those jobs more than women do, but where MRAs get it twisted is that that's only true *because* of misogyny. Women WANT to be firefighters and loggers and soilders and do hard labor, it's just that the fields are male dominated and riddled with misogyny so women often can't get an in or leave after being treated like shit. Additionally, it is also an issue with workplace regulation and capitalism devaluing ALL life in favor of profits. MRAs are right that more men work these jobs and thus die more and I can see how they would feel that their lives are devalued, the issue is that they blame that on women when the real culprit is misogyny and capitalist deregulation of workplace safety. They also bring up the draft, which again I can get how some men feel that their lives are only of value if they are willing to die, but that isn't bcs women are valued above them, it's because the draft is inhumane and NO ONE should be forced to go to war at all, and certainly not against their will. Like genuinely the fact that men have to sign up for the draft just to vote is insane to me and I can't blame any man for being upset about that, it's just a lot of them have a deep seated hatred of women and thus blame them for it rather than seeing that the real issue is forcing *anyone* to go to war.

(I also recall them using the Titanic disaster to show that society doesn't value men's lives but uh...yeah no the Titanic is one of the only instances where women and children were prioritized. Historically in shipwrecks women and children were left to die while the men escaped, but I can kinda get the irritation a little given Titanic was such a big deal it's overshadowed the true history of protocall in maritime disasters.)

I also meant to add in that in the RBG case the man wasn't being denied the tax credit just for being a man, it was because he was unwed and that tax credit was intended for families where the wife was absent, dead, or for whatever reason was incapable of providing care for an ill family member. I suppose you could even argue that it was less a case of him being punished for being a man and more him being punished for being unwed, thus a manifestation of amatanormativity and heteronormativity, but it is true from what I read they fought the ruling on the grounds that he was facing sex based discrimination, and the case went on to provide legal president to fight types of sex based discrimination that primarily harmed women.

I just also think it's important to fully understand what hate movements believe and how they can make their ideas seem rational and appealing, because it's the only way to counter them effectively. Hell the modern queer movement deciding that TERFs *only* hate trans women and have no other targets is why radical feminism is so prevalent in queer spaces. They can't recognize TERFs if they aren't screaming about trans women, and the TERFs know that. If you don't understand what your enemy believes and who they are against and how they doctor their arguments for recruitment you stand no chance of eradicating them. MRAs did successfully recruit women, very feminist women in fact, with some of these very talking points, because they held off on the blatant misogyny until they knew they had you on their side, just like TERFs will pretend to not hate trans people until they've already got you. It's important imo to not boil their entire belief system down to "incels who want sex" even if that is a major part of it because then we can't teach people to watch out for the less obvious dogwhistles and understand what the actual issue behind these points are and thus how to fight them and not get drawn in with seemingly reasonable arguments AND how to recognize the difference between someone drawing attention to real issues men face and someone who just wants to spew hatred.

I honestly kinda wonder if the current pushback against transandrophobia is born of the backlash to the MRA movement, but from people who didn't pay attention and learn the rhetoric and how to counter it and now think anyone who talks about any men suffering for being men in any context is a closet MRA who must be shown the door immediately, but idk that's just speculation on my part.

But anyway, I should have been more clear and checked my sources better, but tbh I just felt like the ask was getting too long and it was late and I had a headache so I just ranted about what I remembered of the movement. I'll be sure to be more clear next time I send something in, I don't want to spread misinformation or get any ire drawn your way.

However I do want to say comparing trans men and trans masculine people in general to MRAs is ridiculous because even when you break down the few few slightly valid points MRAs bring up before laying on the Horrifically Agrressive Misogyny that's clearly NOT what trans men and mascs are taking about, the two movements imo have so little in common it's legit ridiculous to compare them, and it's also ridiculous to act like some jackasses using the concept of misandry as a way to shut down women means the entire concept of the patriarchy harming men at all is so throughly tainted we can't even let trans men talk about it or coin language to describe anti-masc bias especially in queer spaces. Imo anyone comparing discussions of transandrophobia with MRAs is missing the point and has no idea what they're talking about re: trans mascs *and* MRAs.

Thank you for the clarification anon, though I'm still not totally sure about the custody thing because I've heard different things since your first ask. It's good to have a dialogue.

[ruva-fjura]

An Important cohost Post, Recreated on Tumblr

(Original Publication Date: August 16th, 2024)

I got pretty distant from my dad once my parents split up. He wasn't really all that great to me, but he was trying his best, and he had anger problems like me. All the same, I sort of understood, and thought maybe after the decade apart, I could forge a new relationship with him.

This is a story about how getting invested in stories causes them to find new ways to suckerpunch you. About how character creation does deeply impact how you experience a game. And about how grief is like having twisted an ankle when you were twelve: You think everything's fine and then you do something weird and it hurts all over again.

This is a story, about Ruva Fjura, Warrior of Light.

Content Warning: Final Fantasy XIV Spoilers, Heavensward Spoilers, depictions and discussions of death, discussions of trans identity and grieving.

I've been getting into Final Fantasy XIV recently thanks to the introduction of Hot Cat Women (I am predictable.) A few years before this, I had made an attempt to play FFXIV when I was really itching to play WoW with my friends. Legolas Lordofthering did not inspire a connection to the story. This time, now that I could play as a species that I could feel connected to, not a smoothskinned human-alike, but a real anthro Lady… Since, when I bought the game, I was given a free month of sub, a month before Dawntrail's actual release, I decided to fold that into my WoL's backstory. Ruva Fjura is a trans hrothgar, seeking to adventure to earn the gil to afford the expensive body-changing medicine Fantasia.

I even made sure to take a screenshot of her very first dress.

Ruva would, over the course of A Realm Reborn:

clean up a little,

and polish her look as she set forth to defend Eorzea. (Don't tell anyone, but relatively early on I start using plugins, so everyone appropriately addresses Ruva with the correct pronouns. Shoutout to PrefPro!)

Originally I'd intended to use the Magic HRT that is the Fantasia potion right at the border between A Realm Reborn and Heavensward, because I'd tried to play the game a few years ago and knew the story beat there makes a good point for an identity update… but having accidentally blitzed the story of ARR in 2 weeks, and having more time still to play before Dawntrail drops, a few friends suggested another story point I was likely to get to by the time Dawntrail dropped:

Right after the Vault. (For those of you who already know what happens in the story, you can see where this is going.)

Now, I don't always remember to screenshot things, and my screenshots aren't particularly well-organized, so I don't have a lot of visual material for my man Haurchefant. You first meet him during a segment of A Realm Reborn when you're attempting to locate Cid's airship, and dealing with the Ishgardians. While they're mostly religious isolationists at this point, Haurchefant welcomes you rather more warmly and openly, to the best his ability and rank can afford him to. You assist him a few times, and he is consistently the most helpful hand and face in the whole of their region.

It's under his guidance you're able to escape from the major regions after being framed for assassination, to House Fortemps, the house he calls home as a knight and bastard son. (Ishgard has some of that Noble Houses stuff going on.) He's super chill. He's a bro. You interact with him a lot during Heavensward.

Ruva ventures forth in the surrounding region of Coerthas, assisting Ishgard with trying to end a war that has lasted a millenium, makes enough money to purchase an apartment, decorates it for her friends, and, one night, stops and gets to think:

"Soon, I won't be trapped in this body any longer."

It's the night before the servers drop for The Maintenance That Installs The New Expansion, and I finally come to the Vault. You're trying to save a different person, Ser Aymeric, who's been INSTRUMENTAL in keeping you safe and helping sort things out in Ishgard from being captured and possibly killed trying to confront his father. I ask my friends to assist, since this is the last thing I'll be doing narratively before Ruva Fjura finally gets her magic HRT shipped in. (Mechanically I've had the consumable since before the end of A Realm Reborn, but narratively.)

ou join him to run off after your friend, but suddenly, an enemy knight who had been standing on the tower walls of the building behind you launches a spear of light your way. Haurchefant tries to do his best to intercept it, defend you, block it with his shield, but…

It's too powerful.

The wound is too deep. Your companions' best healing cannot hope to stop his injuries enough to heal him. You're here in his final moments.

He looks up at you, and delivers the line that nobody in my friend group, myself included, could have predicted would utterly decimate me.

"Oh, do not look at me so."

This is one of the most famous lines from Heavensward, involving to my experience on of the biggest character deaths in the series. It's touching, but on its own it probably would not have hit me as hard as what happens next. Because he says this, and the camera immediately cuts back, to Ruva.

Pre-HRT.

... ... About two years before I started playing Final Fantasy XIV, my father died suddenly. The details aren't important, but given that I had never had a great relationship with him growing up, I didn't feel that loss as much as my sister, and the rest of my family, did. Atop this, it takes a lot to make me cry, just because of the kind of person I am. I can feel strongly, but I usually just feel tense, and achey, and anxious, far before any tears flow.

A year ago, I had started really started feeling out how I expressed and embraced my gender in real life. Slowly, but more than I'd done in the previous three decades. I'd started wearing dresses, changed hairstyles, dyed my hair, asked my family to call me Astra rather than my birth name. I didn't get to show my father this side of me. I started this journey after his death. He never got to see me be who I really want to be, who I really am. And- And I just-

And that potion is in-transit, it's coming tomorrow, and this man, this close companion, an elezen who has never treated me as anything less than the woman I have always been, who sees The Warrior of Light and thinks 'friend', is dying. He is dying right in front of me, and his final words are commenting on a face that doesn't feel truly mine! He never got to see me be who I really want to be, who I really am-

I sat there. In the voice call with the friends who had assisted me in that dungeon run, who I'd been sharing my experiences in the game with, who had told me to make these cutscenes the last thing Ruva did before Dawntrail's release.

And I sobbed.

----------------------------------------

A few days pass. Dawntrail drops. I log in, use the Fantasia, and log out so I can enter the options. I fiddle with the character creator to get that final polish. I make the Ruva Fjura I bought this fuckin' game to play as. I log back in.

Before I do anything else, I travel to the highest point I can get to in Coerthas. Nothing else matters. I have taken the fantastical gender potion, Ruva has finally achieved that which she first started adventuring to achieve. And she has to get as close to the heavens as she can.

I have to make sure he can see.

----------------------------------------

I have fallen into becoming a tank main. I'm a Dark Knight main, though I play most every tank. (It's a little near-impossible, playing a properly effective healer on controller.) I have helped end a war that has lasted a millenium. The head of House Fortemps has gifted me a shield bearing the crest of his household. It is the same sort of shield that my closest friend once used trying to protect me.

In the background is a browser window with information on informed consent clinics within my area, as well as the price of various estrogen medications. The shield I have obtained completes a set I have since worked to put together. I will not lose anyone else without them having seen me for who I want to be. For who I really am.

I will never forget him. I will always honor how he has touched my life.

... now if only Paladin wasn't the most awkward of the tank rotations-

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Cast: PDS!Curse

Original character by Kenji, alterations by me

DISCLAIMER: This version of Curse is intended to be a love letter to the original concept that Kenji made, not something made to spite it. This is just my attempt at tweaking Curse's story a bit and doing some slight improvements, whilst AVOIDING straying too far away from the original vision. And I'm sorry to say this, but I won't tolerate attempts to lay me down just for trying to build on Curse's original vision, and if you've got nothing nice to say about it, don't say anything at all.

"I mean, sure, some worlds have been overly cruel to me, but I don't see worth in being cruel myself. It wouldn't make me any better than them. At least, that's how I see it, anyway."

Sonic the Hedgehog. A constant source of hope and aspiration, right? Surely every Sonic must be able to get back up from any fall, shouldn't they? Well, not every Sonic can do that.

In Dimension KJ-2022, Sonic once lived the best life he could alongside his companions, Tails (who is trans female there), Knuckles and Sally Acorn, and together, they've fought off the dreaded Dr. Robotnik time and time again. Of course, not everything was sunshine and rainbows even when the doctor wasn't terrorising the land.

This Sonic's version of Antoine D'Coolette was overly jealous that Sonic was in a loving relationship with Sally, and had been constantly at the blue blur's throat a lot of the time. Fortunately, his friends were there to stand up for him, though things were clearly spiralling out of control fast.

One day, a landslide hit the area, and though Sonic and Knuckles did their best to contain it, the consequences were life-changing for good; Knuckles got killed, and Sonic's legs were severely injured, leaving him stuck unable to run properly without anything to help him out.

Ever since that day, the general public started to pin the blame for Knuckles's death on Sonic, and the blue blur was stuck having to face constant harassment and bullying, especially from Antoine. It got to the point where his own house wasn't safe for him anymore, so Tails and Sally both took him in to keep him safe. Tails was even sweet enough to engineer altered sneakers for Sonic to keep him able to walk, but not run WAY too fast after the injury.

Having heard about the news himself, Robotnik wasn't at all chuffed that Sonic was having to face hate every single day, deciding to stop his misdeeds and instead aim to contribute to helping the blue blur's well-being. However, one evening was when all hell broke loose, when the Curse of X latched onto Sonic, but no one knew how or why. And as Sonic had been rooming with Sally for a while, all hell broke loose when he lost control and the Curse took control to silence her.

After Sonic awoke, he was traumatised from the experience, especially considering that the blood was on his hands, despite him not remembering doing the deed. However, he wasn't going to run for it yet. He needed answers, and desperately hoped he could find Tails to figure it out. He headed out to find her, with some news that she had been "kidnapped" by the doctor.

In that stormy night, Sonic fought Robotnik's giant Brak robot, and once he had overpowered it, he angrily demanded to know where Tails was. The Brak robot tried to reassure him that she was in safe hands, and confirmed that it was a man of its word, though urged him to hurry if he wanted to save her, so he did so.

Curse: Where is she?! Where's Tails?! Black Robotnik: Oh, pitiful hedgehog. Your little sister must be quite precious to you. Don't worry, though. She's in safe hands. Curse: You of all people saying that tells me that she isn't. Black Robotnik: No no. I'm a man of my word. Lucky for you, she managed to escape from Metal Sonic. She's headed out towards one of Eggman's abandoned facilities; the west wing of Launch Base. You'd better hurry, though. The storm isn't getting any better... and the base is nowhere near as stable as it once was...

Once Sonic, now under the name "Curse", managed to reach the place, he worked to track down Tails and bring her to safety, though on their way out, the Curse of X took hold of him again. This time, Tails was able to hold her own against her corrupted friend, wanting him to snap out of it. However, she ultimately fell, finally crushing Curse's hopes of ever having a better life.

He fled back home after Launch Base fully collapsed, only to find a note to meet... "someone" at the village bridge. And unfortunately, that's where Antoine found him, whose hatred for Sonic only amplified in the wake of the deaths of Sally and Tails. He threatened to let out the fact that he killed those people and tried to drown him in the river. Luckily, Metal Sonic came to his aid in the nick of time, and gave Antoine some much-deserved karma by "accidentally" knocking HIM into the river and causing his arm to suffer a severe rip.

Unfortunately, this meant Robotnik would be the last one in Curse's world to fall. He desperately didn't want to do the deed, but the Curse of X would wait for nobody, not even its host. That said, Metal Sonic wasn't distressed by his creator's death; in fact, Robotnik had already written out his will in advance and knew his death was coming once the reality of the curse came out. He had made many enemies in his life, so he expected the worst from the get-go.

As condolences for Curse, Metal Sonic handed him two things at the back of Robotnik's mansion that would be major parts of his life from then on out; a credit card with a 60 million ring value, and a portal gun for multiversal travel. The goal of these two gifts was to give Curse a better life, since he wasn't safe in his universe anymore. After Metal wished him good luck, Curse went on his way for travelling across the multiverse.

His travels have made Curse well aware that, at the end of the day, he's simply just a video game character, and he harbors that knowledge of the many Sonic games out there. It hasn't really bothered him as much, though. As time went on, he has mainly been tending to his wounds using bandages, moisturiser and medicine. He also keeps flashlights and battery candles handy, since he had developed a fear of the dark.

One day, however, was when a pocket world he was in merged with the many that were a part of the haunted video game disc (in Rivals' Madness) shared by Ultra M and Xenophanes (more the latter), and he was one of those that were encountered later along by Benjamin. Though the curse made him try to hurt the kid, he desperately wanted more than anything for it to stop. Thankfully for him, it died down, and he simply wanted forgiveness for the outburst, to which Benjamin was happy to do so.

Once the way to Xenophanes was cleared, Curse got to heading over to stop the crystalline demon, though was stopped in his tracks by a mimicry of Tails based on two tarot cards; the Fool and the Tower. He managed to get by, though, and he managed to assist the quartet that were on the path to deicide to kill Xenophanes.

Once all was said and done, he was split from the shared universe and went back to his realm, though harbored more knowledge of entities akin to himself, which made him see; he wasn't scary, the world around him was. He may have helped kill a false God, but it didn't change the fact that he was still stuck with the Curse of X.

That said, one fateful day would change his life forever, in a good way. In More than One Universe, when the multiversal tremor hit, he was one of those pulled into Dimension OMT-2021, under the effect of that dreaded curse. Compared to the six main villains, he was pulled in later than the rest, when the rifts got worse, and Exester (the EXE from Glitch Chaos) was the one to encounter him. Though the curse blinded his thinking, Exester was able to utilise their full skillset and successfully cure Curse.

After he was cured, though, some changes remained permanent, namely his altered eyes (complete with the substance known as "mobitar" having stuck to the sides of his face after its leaking had stopped). In addition, his feet support finally entirely gave way, rendering him unable to walk at all for now. He was given time to rest in the "Sonic-cave" while the other villains (outside of Shalian, who was already fully cured prior, and AVA!Corrupt, who defected of his own volition) were tracked down and cured one-by-one.

And after OMT!Robotnik made it back from his time stuck in the Third Realm and accidentally caused the rifts to get worse thanks to Richard making his device shatter, EV!Tails and EV!Eggman doubled down on their plan to get the rifts sealed, and Curse contributed a little bit by giving away some of the still wet mobitar to fully perfect the travel device and fully stabilise all travel to and from the OMT universe from then on.

After the day was saved, Curse had found himself bonding more with Exester and another youthful "EXE", known as Little X, spending some more time around them after it was time to leave the OMT universe and for the latter two's side to head back to the Errorverse. OMT!Tails also provided him some repairs for the leg prosthetics so he could be back to running free once more.

Since that day, he had grown to develop further interests outside of those he was stuck with after being infected with the curse. For instance, in terms of food, he really loves veggie and tofu burgers, and enjoys steak as a commodity. And as for drinks, he finds tea to be his favourite. He's also since enjoyed having bath bombs in any baths he is in, especially if they're scented and glittery.

Through it all, of course, he developed his own key understanding and approach to his life; sure, worlds (including our own, might I add!) may have been needlessly cruel to him, but he doesn't feel any need to pay this cruelty WITH cruelty, as that would leave him just like them in the end.

After this time, EV!Sonic happened to see potential in Curse to do the right thing, with his portal gun capable of helping get to other places quickly, and got him signed up to be a member of the Quill Society. There, like with Sarah, he was welcomed into the party with open arms and had since enjoyed being there for others who had gone through similar experiences. When he got there for the first time, he undertook a therapy session with Sara to vent out the struggles he had been through in life, which she showed sweet understanding and support for.

He's seen as one of the first to greet OMT!Tails when EV!Sonic invites him over to Gust Planet in Many More Heroes following a successful rescue mission back at Dimension BK-2009, and though he did wonder about the canon event theory, he stepped right out of LM!Sonic's philosophy and its premise that letting deaths play out uninterrupted was apparently "crucial" to becoming better as a hero. Because of this, he actively played a part in apprehending LM!Sonic when he tried to get away in plans to assure OMT!Cream's demise.

At the end of the day, of course, he's still his own hero, even with the permanent appearance changes, and nothing can take that away from him.

[theslowhipster]

I think I'm a Pretty Good:tm: Liar?(Inspired by The People's Joker, kinda (not really)) // Queer Trans Ramblings

I want to write something long and beautiful about my thoughts, but I don't know how it's going to come across. (its definitely long though)

Ever since I started living as myself (and for myself), I've been thinking a lot about art that I've created in the past. How I was a happy kid, but underneath all of that I was angry and upset. Content to be the person everyone expected me to be, but never myself. For example, in 5th grade I wrote a short fantasy story using deadname as my self insert. I never felt any closeness to that name, no one ever really called me by it so I thought that was why it felt wrong. But even for the end of the story I couldn't find any happiness for him.

It wasn't a violent end, and it wasn't even his fault. The carelessness of the dragon he trusted with his life flew too high and he could no longer breathe. I remember my teacher at the time showed concern that something was wrong. Most 9 year olds don't write a story where they are the main character, horrible things happen to them, everything is described as awkward and nonsensical, and then they die. But my parents saw their "son" trying really hard to be happy for them and the consensus was "Garnet's just like that."

There feels like there were so many of those moments, too. "Oh no, Garnet's struggling in school, and she thinks it's because she might have ADHD. Let's get her tested," (slightly paraphrased and with different pronouns, obv.) But, once the only people asked were my parents and teachers who I was told later all said some variant on "yeah she could have it, but she's happy and well adjusted." And obviously I don't blame any of them, I was lying about who I was to make the people I cared about most love me.

I was so desperate to be the person they thought I was when I started to come out about my sexual preferences I did it out of anger to hurt my parents. We never really talked about it after the fact, but I know from talking to one of my sisters that they never really believed it. (Jokes on them, I'm a happily married pansexual in a lesbian relationship now). And this anger stayed with me, this frustration that I couldn't put my finger on. I think its what really soured our whole relationship in my teenage years.

When I left for college I was so happy and excited, I could redefine who I was, for myself this time. But after about 6 months, I started feeling trapped all over again and stopped going to classes. I was still trying to be "Garnet" the son that my parents loved and it was destroying me. Eventually, my behavior got me kicked out of school because I had failed literally every single class I was in for two quarters in a row. Because I missed the freedom that being myself gave me, I was determined to earn that back. So I moved back home, and started going to community college with the goal of being myself. That was the first time since probably Elementary school that I had gotten perfect grades.

Eventually I was able to transfer back to university, and reconnected with my at-the-time girlfriend (now wife <3) and started taking classes for an entirely different degree than the one I had originally intended, thinking this would be what fixed me. The following academic year I got an apartment off campus and got serious about my education. I had done it, I'd become the right version of me. Or at least I thought I had.

I ended up making (what I thought was) a friend during my studies; we were in the same major, liked all the same things, and they felt punk and queer as could be. Exactly the kind of community I had tried to build in high school. We'd talk for hours about nerd culture, the darker sides of the internet, and they introduced me to a deeper queer community and furry shit in a way that made all of it way more approachable than in the past. Like the dragon in the story I'd written almost a decade earlier, because of them I was able to see everything from a new perspective that felt more authentic.

But like any dragon, being around them is harmful to your health. While they were (knowingly or not) pushing me to be my most authentic self, they were also trying to separate me from my girlfriend. Verbally abusing them in what I now assume was a desperate attempt to have me all to themselves (something I saw them do to others and thought nothing of it because we were friends and I thought there was no way they'd do that to me). Eventually, they brought me "high" enough that I started to see some of the cracks in myself. How I was still not happy, even though I had everything I thought I'd ever want. Eventually I came out to them as questioning my gender, and they were very supportive; but before I could figure out exactly what it was we stopped being friends and I found out everything that they had been doing behind my back.

We had finally reached the end of [REDACTED]'s story, he was blacking out due to lack of oxygen. The same end I had predicted 14 years prior, lifted up by someone he trusted to the point where he was so changed he was dead. And you would think that it is would be a sad ending, but he was never a happy person and honestly? I think this was the best ending he could've gotten.

Thankfully I still had other friends around me who could act as a pseudo parachute in this metaphor. [REDACTED] had died, and Jemma came back in his place. But also, she was there the whole time. When I was writing the story, I always knew that this wasn't the end of that character. I had always lied to myself and said that he survived it, that he only blacked out and eventually came to. But I think that deep down, I knew that this was a metaphor for becoming who I was always meant to be. That sometimes we have to destroy the parts of us that aren't really ourselves in order to be happy.

My story still isn't over, but at least now I feel like myself, and I know why everything felt wrong. I still have some things I need to work out, but at least I know why social settings are so hard and I know why I hated looking at myself in the mirror (before a few days ago, the last time I remember seeing someone I recognized as myself in the mirror was when I was six years old). I also now know why I fall so hard and so fast with so many people all at once, and have a loving wife who supports me in exploring that. I don't think I would have any of this though, unless [REDACTED] had died and I took his place.

[silvr-skreen]

GIVE US THE SHIRLEY LOREE

OH BOY THIS IS GONNAE BE A DOOZY!!!

Shirley 🎶 (LORE AND HC ABOUND SORRY)

Lore:

Originally intended to be a duo with Lenard (he sings/makes the music and she dances) except that never really happened.

On her first ever day of existing she got lost and ended up at Ray's stage and just did a bit with him until they ran out of film. As it turns out the juxtaposition between her and Ray was hilarious and THOSE two became a duo.

Lenard legit doesnt care, especially since she makes sure to brief all the others on what happens down in the Stage 2 set (and vicea versa to Ray)

ultimately the CNBG started to try and push a "beauty and the beast" romance thing except Al (who originally despite his good intentions was kind of spineless and bent to their will) said no. He wasn't gonna make them do that, and he didn't. But the CNBG then told him to get her off the air then.

As it turns out, part of her appeal was people thinking her and Ray were more than friends, and a hard no would upset some viewers (as opposed to lying and agreeing, or doing a "will-they-wont-they")

She walked in on the destruction of some of her clones and was then chased out by the staff tasked with the job, and she fled to the basement (this was after Richie left and Ray got banished) and begged him to hide her because "they tore up my copies and they want to tear me up too!" and he agreed. He hid her and played dumb until the staff left.

She's kind of just... been in his lair since, until of course, the staff stopped showing up, at which point she got free reign of the basement, but she is too scared to leave his side. (she also doesnt make clones because shes afraid they'll get torn up too)

Headcanons:

something is very wrong with her. Her mechanic doesn't really have the "cute-Agression" but instead if gordon shoots her, or another puppet she runs at him to chastise him about it. Aka. pacifism is really important (or you attack when she's not active or looking)

there was a scrapped script from when Al was considering agreeing with the network and forcing it, but then he tossed it. It's. it's very bad and al's written in the margins a bunch about that.

she's around george height! very tall, also very wiggly. Ray is the one person she wont attempt to wiggle away from

also the one person ray confided in when it came to raymond (which. i have a headcanon about him too)

she learned a lot of stuff from ray, however, it was before gordon came around so... yeah she likes to hit stuff with small blunt objects.

in addition to that one. she needs to either be taped up, or lead to ray to deactivate her. (the second one deactivates them both, and they always are in the same room at the same time)

side quest is really just... listening. offering support.

oh, also fun fact im the person writing that fic on Ao3 "The Neighborhood" w/ trans gordon an' yeah ye shouldnae be stabbing a pregnant person w/ a screwdriver shirley-girly (ray calls her that)

Funny image tax thank you for reading :3

[sunnybunny2468]

any fun facts abt ur ocs? im rlly interested in them :3

oh betbetbet

four facts about each!!!

BRI:

-she's a huge vocaloid fan!! specifically english songs, but she is the type to listen to darker songs in japanese so long as the instrumental is peppy and poppy. nobody tell her.

-she knows how to understand ASL somewhat, a friend taught her! she messed up salt four times and mixed up salt and fork. ....she really just struggles with salt, huh.

-she is incredibly sheltered, but has bad luck sometimes. if it's deceptively dark under cuteness, she will likely fall for it....especially if it has pretty girls. DDLC and Madoka Magica are things she will never recover from.

-her spirit animal is most totally a bunny. besides her love of them, she taps her foot when she's impatient, she runs more than she fights, and she jumps in place when she's excited but good luck getting her to eat anything but coffee rolls. :3

ALLIE

-she is popular canonically, but doesn't like it too much. ah, it's so hard to be a girlboss girlfailure in this world...luckily, she's good at telling them to fuck off. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

-Bri thought her trans flag on her wall was hatsune miku related. i mean, miku did help her figure out her gender crisis, so task failed successfully.....??? once she finds out, Allie is just planning to make it into an inside joke though. Bri aint escaping this one.

-oh her gaydar is crazy good. she knows Bri is sapphic as fuck but isn't about to tell her. she's gonna let the clueless girliepop figure it out herself like she had to <3

-used to do magic as a teenager, and brought Bri along. still wears her mini tophat near constantly, to the point the pin always attached to it is her calling card at this point. doesn't do magic often anymore, but she did use it to keep her sis occupied when she was little, along with annoy Miley these days by confusing the fuck out of him.

MILEY

-he loves rain. his favorite gift from the group is an orange umbrella he got for his birthday. the reason he likes it? it keeps other people inside and lets him chill alone outside of his room. vibe lil man.

-if there's one hobby he loves, it's photography. he only takes pictures of other people or things, and often ends up deleting them out of worry someone will criticize something about the photo and he'll lose interest/start hating it. the only exception to this is pictures of animals and his friends, since he loves them too much to get rid of them.

-mans sleep schedule is FUCKED. he stays up late googling things related to his friends interests, and then spends the rest of the day paying for it. Bri is very tired (pun intended) of having to constantly wake him up in the middle of class because he decided that last night he wasn't gonna sleep until he beat a minigame. that he had only started an hour ago. which was 11PM.

-he shares a birthday with hatsune miku! (august 31st, 2007) his weeb of a best friend reacted to this by, without fail, every single goddamn year, showing up wearing at least one miku related thing. he's grown to love it, promise. that exhausted sounding sigh is a loving exhausted sounding sigh. <3

LAVENDER

-Lavender is a nickname, due to her first name being hard to pronounce, that being Liliana. eventually, everyone started either calling her Lav, Lavu, or Lily. Most times it's just Lavender though hehe

-she keeps track of the favorite snacks of every close friend she has, and makes sure it's always in her basket. for each member, Bri has coffee rolls, Allie has chocolate chip cookies, Miley has fruit gummies, and she packs herself white chocolate.

-she refuses to curse under any circumstances. you cannot make her. she sees it as inappropriate and immature. compare this to Miley, who if you asked him to stop cursing, would tell you 'are you goddamn serious?- shut the hell up and fuck off!' they argue over it often. very often.

-she wears gloves whenever she leaves the house. originally, she started wearing them as a gift from Allie, but slowly realized it made her more comfortable to have them. sadly, her trips into the woods behind her house and picking flowers have ruined quite a few pairs :(

thank you for asking! <3

[rodolfoparras]

Nah it's ok, I just have crippling addiction to twinks and I'm weak for pretty boys who look like elven and angelic. I swear... a pretty thing bats his eyes at me and I'm fucking goner. ANYWAYS-

Acheron is old D&D character that went through quite a bit of development and he will always be one of my favourite characters I ever created hence why I made him into my Tav. He was originally female character for a brief while just because drow society is matriarchal and I intended for him to start out as royalty and threat to his aunt's power. Buuuut I quickly decided that I want him to be man after all so he's canonically trans now.

I don't want to prattle on about drow history and politics even though I could but essentially men are seen as slaves and toys and have no worth in the society and drows are notorious for turning on each other and killing one other constantly. Acheron's older brother wasn't like that at all and he was super sweet and him and Acheron were very close. Acheron was child prodigy and quickly gained favour of their matriarch and head priestesses and became champion of Lolth and his entire goal was to become head matriarch so he could build better life for his brother. That's also the reason why he repressed his real self and only his brother knew that he was trans.

Acheron was noticed and chosen by Raven Queen who sensed his grief and sorrow even while he as young child and she became mother figure to him while he secretly prayed to her. He got infused with shadow magic through the sword she sent down to him and she became his patron goddess. When he was still young man, his aunt (fearing his influence and the influence of his mother), slaughtered his entire family and Acheron only survived because his brother manage to hide him and his goddess kept him safe. That event broke something in him that was never able to be repaired.

Acheron fought his way out of Underdark and escaped to surface where he saved by young druid who would become his best friend (who is actually my bestie's D&D character). He only had locket with his brother's picture, lock of his hair and his ring to remember his brother by and he treasures it deeply. Also since hexblades (weapon he received) are kind of semi sentient and can talk to their wielders, Acheron believes his brother's soul is in the blade and he talks to it regularly.

He completely buried his old life, transitioned and made a name for himself, eventually being known as The Scourge of Underdark and he and very chaotic but mostly decent person. He had quite a few other tragic things happen to him that kind of shaped him into being cold and ruthless and no-nonsense person. And side note but he actually has genuinely good relationship with his patron and she does genuinely love him as sees him as her son.

Every other companion in bg3 has horrible and abusive relationship with their goddesses and Acheron is there all like 😶😶 "Mmm skill issue ig, imma go tell mom about my day and ask for new spells"

And his story fits so well with bg3 story and I even headcanon Minthara, female drow that can become your companion, as his cousin and her mother to be the aunt that slaughtered his family. And Astarion is like.... second person Acheron had genuinely romantic feelings for ever probably and his companions are one of few people he grew to care about. And Acheron is very much ready to do whatever it takes for his friends and especially for Astarion.

He doesn't care about power or influence or anything, he just wants to keep Astarion safe because he can't risk losing the most important person in his life again. That's why I hc that after the events of the game he goes back to Underdark and kills his aunt and everyone loyal to her and he makes it clear that unless he and his loved ones are left alone, he will not hesitate to wipe them all out. He's a little unhinged but ordinary people know him as a hero, albeit very scary one.

-🔮

Sugar!!! I am genuinely amazed how in depth this is it felt like I was watching a movie reading this!!’ First of all I’ll always be a sucker for good healthy sibling relationship and the fact that their bond still remains in some ways is why I’m not sad despite everything tragic that happened to him also Im so glad he has a best friend by his side to love and support him because it can’t be easy having gone through all that trauma and continue life on your own also astarion being all starry eyed over him, to him it’s like seeing a sweet puppy flash its teeth but he absolutely loves it feels himself get all warm and light 🥹 this is genuinely a beautiful story and I’m throughly impressed with how thought out every step is

[soul-dwelling]

How do you think a wholy genderbent soul eater would be?

What I'm going to write is pretty much a "data dump." I'm not sure I'm going to hold to everything I have to say below after I take more time to think it over, so please bear with me: I am probably going to get a lot wrong, and I appreciate feedback to figure out what could and should be done.

This is also going to be a lot of rambling, with unwieldly sentences because trying to talk about gender sometimes leads to sentences that have to be super-long and complex to put the ideas into anything approaching coherence.

And I apologize for what is going to be slippage between terms that are obviously distinct--non-binary, trans, and LGBTQIA+--but which I'm likely going to conflate in places where I didn't intend to, as I'm trying to talk about a lot of identities but will likely screw up, so, again, I welcome feedback where I'm getting things wrong.

So, to get to the question already: I don't know whether a wholly genderbent story would be far removed from what we already got in the Book of Eibon arc.

That being said...boy, that arc has aged poorly.

Granted, it had problems at the time it was released, and I was far more narrow in understanding gender and sexuality, because I'm not sure what the story was going for in that regard. The more popular awareness of gender as a spectrum and sexuality as a spectrum means a lot of that story's tropes ("you look like what you find attractive in the gender that you're not" and "being in this new gender means you act so unlike yourself") falls apart when you think about how that's not how gender works.

And it doesn't answer some obvious questions: what if you're a girl who is attracted to girls--but the Book makes you into a boy--what would that girl find attractive in boys? That's actually a question that could have been more thoughtful...but I don't think Ohkubo has been very good at those kinds of gender-blending questions.

I really want to say Adventure Time did this better...except I don't even buy that, because (spoilers for the later stuff) it wasn't to do genderbending, it was to make brand new characters who just happen to be different genders from the characters who inspired them, and have qualities of those original inspiring characters but just differently done by circumstance (the plot) as opposed to anything intrinsic to gender or sexuality itself ("Fionna would obviously do this, because she is a woman, whereas Finn would never do this because a boy would obviously never do this"--which, to be clear, would be a ridiculous approach, as there is next to nothing that Fionna would obviously do by her gender just as there is next to nothing Finn would obviously do by his gender, unless we're trying to say something about how societal expectations by gender compel these actions in these characters, in which case it's not really those characters doing it but society enforcing those actions by them, now isn't it).

So, a wholly genderbent Soul Eater would have to figure out how you're handling the genders for these characters. For example, is the point to show how qualities commonly assumed to be masculine would persist in that character even if their gender changed, hence emphasizing that you're still you even if your gender was changed outside of your control?

Or is the point to show that these qualities are not exclusive to any one gender and that is foolish to think a boy has to act like this, a girl has to act like this, and so on?

Or is the genderbent story to show how a change in gender or sex would change the character, e.g. how Maka gets a nosebleed when seeing the Succubus? (Which is messed up on its own anyway: why is the assumption that, now being a boy, Maka intrinsically would get turned on by a woman-presenting character? Are we sure that she wasn't already? It's already bad enough to imply, "LOL boys be like this, just horn-dogs," coupled with how that is part of "Liz and Tsubaki are confirmed to be the most sexually interested characters only by having them first become boys.")

I think the genderbent story approach is less interesting, when fandom has had a more engaging approach, that being to anticipate that characters who are boy-presenting or girl-presenting in canon are then headcanoned to be trans or non-binary or otherwise LGBTQIA+. I don't think that goes far enough for trans representation, non-binary representation, and LGBTQIA+ representation.

But as an academic exercise, I think that's more productive for the sake of pointing out how these qualities that get lumped into any one gender, sex, or sexuality are bullshit: I struggle to think of any personality type, trope, or detail that has to be "just for boys," "just for girls," etc. It's why the original manga having Black Star, Patty, and Liz pretty much still having a lot of their personality despite the gender change worked better for me, compared to Maka and Soul swapping roles (Soul nosebleeds about Blair, Maka nosebleeds about the Succubus) that (I say as a Soul x Maka shipper) was there in part to get the shippers happy ("Maka looks a bit like Soul,'" "Soul has Maka's body type," "ha ha ha, now Soul gets to put Maka in her place and gets to be jealous"). I think if you're going to do this kind of story, you would need to figure out how to acknowledge that gender does make you different, but also that gender doesn't make you different, if that paradox makes any sense.

I remember seeing one amusing comic that pretty much had boy-presenting Maka being a bit more snarky, but I also think there's value to having the character pretty much still be the same Maka, just boy-presenting.

But that also means you're changing what the story is about.

There is a difference between Maka, as a girl, who at least in the 2000s, was understood to not be the typical protagonist in a horror movie-inspired shonen battle series. If Maka is a boy, I don't think we are talking about how girls are expected to be studious and more serious than boys, how Maka as a model student but with a short temper complicates how she fits into that model behavior. If Maka is a boy, then Maka's reaction to Spirit cheating on his wife reads differently--and now the story is not only about Maka having problems trusting boys and men given how Spirit models that behavior but also what that means for Maka as a boy and whether he worries he can perpetuate those same toxic masculine behaviors. It also changes how to read Maka reaching out to Crona, where we have these wrongly-held cultural assumptions linking appeals to emotions and talking out problems as only for girls and women, where now it is a boy doing it, which is progressive.

So, it's a mixed bag: I think Maka as a boy would say something really important when he sees Spirit modeling bad behavior, I think it would show boys using talking and emotional outreach rather than fisticuffs, but we also lose what Maka as a girl provided in the horror and shonen battle genres.

And that's not even getting into how this changes Maka's dynamic with Soul--or whether it should: if it was me, Maka and Soul as both boys but having pretty much the same dynamic would be more engaging (Soul in an apron bringing pie and tea to Maka) but still have significant problems (Maka chopping Soul--which was also bad when it was Maka as a girl, so I don't think Maka as a boy clubbing Soul would read any better, either).

Plus, it's like that old post Gail Simone had about genderbending in comics: how come it took so long to have more and more trans characters in comics, after so many decades of whacky magical stories of genderbending? I'd rather a story that has a ton of characters who happen to be outside of a male-female binary, then do whacky magical scenarios like the Book of Eibon to get to something closer to a trans story. Granted, this is my nitpick--I get the importance of allegory, but I get tired of just allegories and want stories that can be allegories about trans identity _and which happen to also have a ton of trans characters_. The same goes for allegories about non-binary identity and which happen to have a tone of non-binary characters, and so on with other parts of LGBTQIA+ representation.

[practically-an-x-man]

💯🔺and a question of your choice

Ooh thank you! I assume you want this for Katherine? Either way, I'll answer it for her since you're most familiar with her

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

She's kept all her old sketchbooks, even back to her childhood, because she likes to see where she's been and how much her art has improved.

2. She knew Jace before he came out as trans, and helped him decide on a name (he presented her with a few options he was considering, and she helped him settle on Jace out of those options). She's also accompanied him when he got his first few tattoos, before he got comfortable in the shop.

3. One of her favorite art styles is comic-book inkwork (for obvious reasons), and she's actually quite good at it. She originally wanted to become a comic artist, and that's why she went to Pratt. The museum job snuck up on her, and she deeply enjoys it, but it wasn't the career path she fully intended to find herself in

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Not in the traditional sense, since she was never an athlete or had any martial arts experience. Being a woman in the city, she does keep pepper spray and one of those keychain knuckle-spikes on her person whenever she goes out, but those don't really count as skill-based weapons. Well, and she can use magic thanks to the tablet, though that doesn't quite count as a weapon either

my choice: 🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

So, I picked this one because I had an idea about this but I'm not sure it'll make its way into the actual fic. Katherine doesn't have any tattoos at the current time of the story, but I had the idea of Jace tattooing both Emily and Katherine as part of his tattoo apprenticeship. Emily gets a cluster of purple Andean lupines, and Katherine gets a realistic moon