#I was writing this at 6am because I’m obsessed

[beybaldes]

I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand

summer sleepover masterlist

jamie tartt x gn!reader

summary : “am i supposed to just let you go?” / “for what it’s worth, i really am sorry”

content warning : technically a part 2 ‘I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t,’ can be read stand alone, more protective!roy and bestfriend!colin, Jamie’s past is held against him and it hurts his feelings because he has changed, two uses of yn, jamie being clueless, angstyish

an : can you tell I’m obsessed with Taylor’s music? Better man is one of the best vault tracks to exist fight me I listened to it the whole time writing this fic.

Christmas and New years come and go and when the first day back at the dog track comes around you’ve almost forgotten about Jamie entirely.

You haven’t spent a single minute of the holidays thinking of him, and yet, he’s spent every single minute of it thinking about you. In no more then 10 seconds, you’d shattered whatever hope he’d had left that maybe, just maybe, he could heal things over between the two of you. And even after that, you’d still wished him a merry Christmas. He was going to get fucking whiplash if things carried on like this.

It was exactly that which had brought him to Keeley’s doorstep at 6am on New Year’s Day. Roy answers the door and he’s still in what he assumes is lasts nights clothes. Even though Roy doesn’t particularly like Jamie, not after what he did to you, he knows Jamie wouldn’t show up here without reason, so he invites him in. He guides Jamie through to the living room and says he’s going to get Keeley but that they’ll be right back. Jamie knows he must look rough if Roy wants to sit in on the conversation too.

There’s glitter on the floor after the party Jamie wasn’t invited to. He’s knows you were here last night. You may still have him blocked on everything, but Colin doesn’t, and fuck, does Colin love posting you. Posting pictures of you all dressed up for the new year, looking perfect as ever, posting videos of the two of you on his story, taking shots together or dancing ridiculously around Keeley’s living room. Part of him knows that in another life, one where he had been a better man sooner, it would’ve been him in Colin’s place; dancing with you at a party, sharing drinks with you, and if he was really lucky, maybe even sharing a kiss at midnight.

“Jamie! Hi! Hey! What are- what are you doing here, babe?” Jamie can tell she’s just as surprised as Roy was to find him here, but that doesn’t deter him from why he came. He knows there’s only one way that he can become a better man, and that’s by trying. “Here, have a pillow.”

Keeley makes sure each of them have a bright, pink pillow in their laps before she encourages Jamie to talk, leaning forward across her own pillow to show Jamie she’s really listening. Even Roy seems open to hearing him out, stretching his arms out across the back of Keeley’s sofa.

“I need to know how I can make things better with yn.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Jamie’s barely got his words out when Roy’s growled at him and Keeley’s smacked Roy in his chest. He takes her hand gently in his and holds it in his lap and Jamie almost winces at the sweet nothingness of the action. “I mean, they’ve told you to leave them alone, so, leave them alone.” Jamie thinks Roy’s changed too, until a mere second later, he lets out the fakest cough known to mankind. “Prick.”

“Oi, I didn’t come here to get bullied by a pensioner, I came here for actual advice.” And just like that Jamie had slipped back into the shell of the person he’d been trying to leave behind. People like Roy made it all too easy, picking on his weak spots with the smallest of words, and causing all his progress to come crashing down.

“What Roy means…” Keeley interrupted, breaking up the bickering before it could ever even really begin. “Is that you made your bed Jamie, now you’ve got to lie in it. If they don’t want to forgive you, or most on from the past, then that’s their choice. You can’t force anyone to forgive you.”

“But everyone else has.” Jamie whined, head thrown back against one of Keeley’s many throw pillows as he took to lying on the settee instead. “I don’t understand why they won’t. I’m trying so…” Jamie paused, sucking in a long breath. He was trying so hard to be better and he couldn’t say that because strong men didn’t need to be better, strong men didn’t want to change for the people they loved. The smaller voice, the one that grew a little louder day in and day out, said the opposite; strong men do change for the people they love, they apologise and they acknowledge their mistakes (even when it hurts to do so). “I just don’t get why they won’t forgive me when almost everyone else has.”

“Did you happen to forget that, out of everyone, yn is the one you actually, literally, cheated on?” Silence fell over Keeley’s living room for the first time in almost 24 hours, and Jamie was sure he’d never heard something so loud in his life. “That maybe, more then anything, more then an apology, what they want is for you to explain why you did what you did?”

“No one wants to know why.” Jamie scoffed, thinking of the multiple apologies he’d make to partners in his lifetime. Each and everyone wanted an apology, he would give it to them, they’d fuck one last time, and then break up on ‘mutual’ terms claiming that it was ‘for the best’. Obviously, he didn’t want things to go like that with you, he wanted to really apologise and for you to really forgive him, and then for the two of you to work on building a friendship between the two of you. But that didn’t mean he’d ever have expect you to want to know why he did what he did. “They want an apology, and for you to seem sorry, and then that’s usually it.”

Keeley eyed him suspiciously, eyes like daggers in a way unusual and unnerving to Jamie. “You don’t know why you did it, do you?”

Jamie can feel Roy’s hand curl into a fist from across the room and he’s sure that if he was any closer he’d be able to hear his blood boiling. “No.” Jamie answers instantly and honestly. “No. I don’t. That’s just who I was then.”

“That’s bullshit.” Roy’s been speaking more then Keeley has and Jamie’s wishing he’d come over for the help at a different time. “You had a year? Two years? To come up with a reason, and that’s all you’ve got?”

Jamie wants to argue. It’s his instinct to argue. To get in some brutal back and forth debating which of them was right about the matter, ultimately say something he shouldn’t, and upset Keeley by upsetting Roy just so he can get out of the conversation. The smaller voice inside his head that’s getting louder tells him the right thing to do, the thing a good man would do, is be honest. So that’s what he does. “They really cared about me, more then anyone ever had, yeah?” Jamie sits up on the sofa, leans his elbows against his knees and hangs his joined hands between his open legs, pulling at his fingers. “Do you know how scary that is? Everyone who was supposed to care about me just ends up hurting me. So, I beat them to it. Hurt them before they can hurt me.”

Keeley and Roy try and get more out of Jamie but he decides he’s been vulnerable enough today and that he has a lot to think about. He spends the remainder of his time off before the season begins again hiding in his bedroom, and thinking about what he did wrong like a told off child.

He decides that on the first day back at the dog track, he’s going to explain everything to you. He’s going to fully embody the better man he’s been trying to become, the man he knows, that once upon a time you knew, he could be.

Thankfully, you have a very peaceful first day back at the dog track. Colin and Isaac come and eat lunch in your office with you, Will hangs around throughout the afternoon helping you with some errands, and Roy brings you coffee at 4 when he knows he’s heading out for the day but you’ve still got some work to do. You’ve barely taken a sip of the saving grace when Jamie enters your office and locks the door behind him. You simply ignore him, continuing to tap away on your laptop and blocking out the image of his puppy dog eyes from your brain.

“Look, can we just talk, yeah?” It seemed Jamie had a way of making you angry by even suggesting he had a right to your time; you stopped typing even though you didn’t mean to. “I want to apologise, and explain, and even if we can’t be friends again, I just don’t want things to be weird anymore.”

“And who’s fault is it that things are weird?” You asked, closing your laptop and leaning back in your chair, creating as much space between the two of you as possible.

“I know, mine, just let me talk, yeah?” Jamie knew he had to get the words out before you interrupted him again or he’d never say them, never give you the explanation Roy had explained, and Jamie had come to understand, you deserved. “I hurt you because I didn’t want you to hurt me. You know what my dads like, what the other people I’ve dated have been like, and every single one of them leaves. And you didn’t, and you didn’t look like you were going too either.” Jamie took a deep breath, holding his own hands to stop them from shaking. “That was so scary, to me, to have someone care about me like that. And, I don’t know, my brain made me think, like, that you were just waiting to hurt me sooner or later, so I should hurt you first.”

You’d fallen completely silent and it entirely unnerved Jamie. All of it made too much sense and a part of you felt so bad for the way you’d acted these past few months. However, you also knew that while Jamie’s insecurities was an explanation to why he did what he did, that it wasn’t an excuse.

“And I couldn’t just break up with you, because I didn’t want to, and I know my actions might not have show it, but I really loved you. And, yeah, I should’ve talked about it instead of sleeping with someone else and getting you to end things, but I didn’t know how to do that back then.” Jamie sucks in a shaky breath and a part of you yearns to hug him, to tell him to not get worked up about it, but you stay in your seat. “And it fucking sucked because I got what I wanted. And I felt so good about it, that you’d hurt me by breaking up with me and that I’d been right, and then I just felt sad.” For the first time since entering your office, Jamie looks at you. “And I just wanted to let you know, that it was never your fault that I did it, it was mine.”

A long silence took over the office, neither you nor Jamie speaking or even breathing as you took in the weight of the words just said to you. Everyone had been telling you for months now that Jamie had changed and you’d been so adamant it was a ruse, but here he was, pouring his heart out to you with the best apology you think he’s ever given, and proving he was a better man.

You stood from your chair, grabbed your bag and half drunk coffee, and tucked the chair under the desk. As you grabbed your laptop and notebook to take home with you, you finally spoke up. “Thank you for explaining Jamie, you don’t know how good it is to hear that after everything. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jamie brow creased and he moved to step closer to the door, stopping you from leaving immediately. “What? So, that’s it?” When you didn’t answer, Jamie took a step forward, reaching his hand out for yours and finding himself surprised when you didn’t push him away. “Am I supposed to just let you go?”

“You know, Jamie, I missed you every minute of every day for the first 8 months, and then I just wished you had been better.” You squeezed his hand gently and for a moment Jamie felt like he’d woken up from some bad dream and he was still where he was 2 years ago. “And then, I woke up one day, and I didn’t think of you at all.” Jamie knew he’d been a dick, he knew he’d hurt you in a way no one deserved to be hurt, he knew you loved him and he pushed that love away like you’d been offering him a loaded gun instead of the key to your heart. “You would’ve been the one if things had been different, but they weren’t different. And that’s okay, but that means you need to let me go.”

Jamie felt sick to his stomach, god, he couldn’t imagine anything worse to happen to him, and yet, he’d done it all to himself. “Im always going to love you, J.” For 2 years Jamie had imagined you saying those exact words to him, forgiving him for his mistakes and turning things back to how they used to be. It shouldn’t be breaking his heart to hear what he’d hoped, and dreamt, and spent sleepless nights praying for.

Jamie let you leave then, stepping away from the door with a downcast look across his face, and finally pulling himself away from your touch. What if he never got to touch you so softly again? What if this was the last time he ever heard you tell him you loved him? What if this was the last time you let him in your door? “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry.”

“I know Jamie, I am too.” You took a step forward, but not towards the door, wrapping your arms gently around Jamie, humming against his neck when his fingers clawed into your shirt and his lips trembled against your temple. “I am too.”

You left your office together and walked Jamie to his car, you said no when he offered you a lift home and he didn’t beg you to accept it. Even if you had said yes, you doubted he knew the drive from the dog track to your new place, and you didn’t want to hurt him more by letting him find out he didn’t know you like he knew the back of his hand anymore.

Tomorrow morning the team will be surprised by the fact you say good morning to everyone including Jamie, but for right now, alone in the empty Nelson Road car park, Jamie finally gets it, and he finally mourns the love he once lost.

[sumeruin]

♫♪: idée fixe

♫♪: warnings: written by a minor, modern au, yandere, dubcon but both people are into it, sorta blackmail? not explicitly but it’s kinda there, slight dacryphilia, i think that’s it but if i missed anything let me know <3

♫♪: pairing: yandere! heizou x yandere! reader

♫♪: a/n: this idea has been bouncing around in my brain for weeks i needed to get it out of there. not proofread because it’s 6am <3 might write a part two to this later but right now this is all you guys get!!!

♫♪: minor writing smut, dni if uncomfortable!!!

heizou knows what you’ve been doing. he knows that you like to follow him around whenever he does anything, knows that you have a habit of taking his things without asking, knows that sometimes, when you’re sure he’s not home, you go into his room and lay down on his bed while cuddling into his blankets. he thinks it’s adorable, really, though if you were anyone else he might not take as kindly to it, he always feels slightly giddy whenever he looks over the security camera footage in his home and sees that you’ve come over and taken another small, easily replaceable thing from his desk, or another piece of dirty silverware from his meals. he just loves all your sweet little tendencies.

he knows that you have some secrets he hasn’t yet too, and he’s determined to find them out, which is why he’s picking your lock and quietly letting himself into your bedroom in the middle of the night. he knows it’s risky, that even stepping on a single creaky floorboard could be enough to wake you up and blow his cover as the nice, charming detective that would never commit any crime, but he just can’t resist. he’s getting curious about that little notebook you always seem to be writing in, and he needs to find out what’s in it that you’re so protective of.

he’s careful not to walk too loudly as he makes his way over to your desk, his eyes lighting up when he sees that you already have the notebook he’s looking for set out on the surface.

you just make it so easy, don’t you?

he slowly reaches for it and gently paws through the pages, his eyes widening at the hastily scribbled, almost maniacal words that covered every page. he noticed they started out like how a schoolgirl would write about her innocent little crushes, but the longer time went on the more obsessive the entries looked. the first one stood out to him in particular, he could remember it as the day he finally gathered the courage to talk to you and become friends.

“february 2nd, 2020.

valentine’s day is coming up! i can’t wait to give out treats to everyone. someone new talked to me too! i think his name was heizou? whatever his name is, he’s super cute. i think i’ll try to get to know him better later.”

heizou kept flipping through the notebook entries, coming across one with a picture of him taped in it. he took note of how much more disorganized and frenzied the handwriting seemed.

“september 20th, 2020.

today i saw heizou eating in the park, he looked at me and waved and i almost fainted, he actually looked at me! he likes me enough to recognize me! i’m sure he feels the same way as i do.”

he felt a smile creep on his face. why would you want to hide this from him? he thinks it’s so cute how much you love him. unable to resist, heizou keeps flipping through the pages, around the halfway mark he notices that they go from slightly crazed, but still mostly innocent, ramblings to much more explicit, detailed wishes. he also notices that you stopped dating them at some point. he makes a mental note to ask you about later.

“heizou went to a new coffee shop this morning. he got a different order than what he usually gets, i wish i had managed to hear what it was, but the barista was being too loud. she didn’t deserve to talk to him. she took his presence for granted. if i had the chance to make heizou a drink i’d be much more grateful than she was. i hate her.”

he laughed to himself. you’re just so cute. his smile was replaced by a look of shock at the contents of the next entry.

“….i would give anything to be with heizou. i belong to him, everything that i am is entirely his. i wish i could tell him that, but i don’t want him to think i’m just a creepy stalker. what i’m doing isn’t stalking, i’m just making sure he’s safe! i’m sure he wouldn’t mind if i told him.”

heizou had finally found the incriminating evidence he needed. while it wasn’t the point of this trip, he couldn’t deny that he felt himself getting worked up at the thought of finally having you to himself. and judging by your journal entries, you’ve been waiting just as long for him.

he quickly walked over to your bed, notebook still held tightly on his hands, and gently shook you awake.

“what- heizou? what are you doing?” you looked up at him in dazed confusion, your voice slightly groggy with sleep.

“would you like to explain what you wrote in this little notebook? stalking is a crime you know, i could have you arrested.” heizou reached over to cup your cheek as he spoke, laughing at the shocked expression on your face.

“i- i just really like you a lot and i didn’t wanna tell you cause i was scared y-you wouldn’t like me too and so i started following you so i could find out more about you and th-then it got kinda out of hand but i didn’t wanna stop cause i like you so much and i’m so sorry please don’t hate me!” you squinted your eyes shut, waiting for him to reject you while trying your hardest to ignore the burning feeling on your face.

heizou hummed as he examined your features, the tears threatening to spill past your waterline, the way you leaned into his hand on your cheek, practically cuddling it, the embarrassment he could almost see radiating off you in waves. “do you wanna make it up to me?”

your eyes snapped open. “yes! i’d do anything to make it up to you, please let me!” he cooed softly at how eagerly you begged him, unable to deny how much he liked being in this position of control over you.

“if you wanna make it up to me you have to do everything i say without asking questions, ok?” heizou moved his hand from your cheek to firmly grasp your jaw, smirking to himself when he felt you try to nod against his tight grip. “good. get on your knees on the floor.”

as you were moving positions he sat down on your bed, spreading his legs to make room for you in between them. he reached for the waistband of his pants and released his aching cock from the tight confines. “now, you’re going to suck my cock, and if you do a good enough job, i’ll forgive you. got it?”

you vigorously nodded, already leaning in to press a light kiss against the head. you opened your mouth and slowly started to take him into it, making sure to use your hands on the parts you couldn’t quite get to with your mouth yet. you felt his hands come down on your head, harshly pushing you to take him even deeper and making you gag and choke around him, tears starting to bubble up in your eyes.

“c’mon, i’m sure you can do better than that. you do want me to forgive you, don’t you?” heizou knew he was being a little mean, but he couldn’t help it. you just looked so cute below him, so eager to please that you’re choking on his cock and refusing to come back up for air. he knew you’d do it, but he didn’t think you’d be this enthusiastic about it.

you made yourself suck more of him in at the empty threat in his words, his tip hitting the back of your throat and your nose finally hitting the hard muscle of his abdomen as you tried to remember to breathe. the soft, breathy moans heizou let out when you managed it made it all worth it though, and you started bobbing your head with a newfound determination.

heizou couldn’t wait to fuck that determined little look off your face.

[karahalloway]

Sleepless in New York: Chapter 10 - Darkfall

Series: TRR

Pairing: Drake Walker x F!OC (Harper Gale)

Synopsis: What if Drake met Harper on the first night of Prince Christian’s New York bachelor party? A stand-alone AU written from Drake's POV.

Masterlist: Sleepless in New York

Chapter Summary: Drake tries to navigate a rough night...

Word Count: 5,300

Rating/Warnings: E (swearing, angst, obsessive-compulsive exercise, sexual fantasy, masturbation)

Chapter theme song:

A/N1: Sorry this took soooo long to get out! As per usual, real life has been exceptionally busy, so I haven't had as much time to write as I'd like to.

A/N2: This is also my slightly belated submission for World Whiskey Day, hosted by @drake-walker-appreciation, and the prompt that this fits with (more or less) is 'The whiskey burns my throat like her absence burns my soul.'

A/N3: I just realised that this kinda (maybe?) qualifies for the @springfeverpitch event that was on this week (Apologies! There are a lot of events on at the moment!) In any case, this would count as domestic x home run I guess 😅

Chapter 10 - Darkfall

I kick the covers off with an irate growl.

Un-fuckin'-believable...

After the shitshow of a day I've had, I should be running on fumes.

And I am.

Yet for some reason, I’m not able to nod off. Despite the fact that I've been on the go since 6am and have barely gotten any shut-eye the night before.

Because my body’s apparently a sucker for punishment and doesn’t seem to know when to quit. And even though I know I desperately need the recharge, I also know that staying in bed’s gonna achieve nothing 'cept hypertension.

So, swinging my legs out onto the carpet with a tight-set jaw, I reach for my phone.

02:18

I run a heavy hand through my hair.

The hell am I gonna do for the next six hours?

My eyes land almost unwittingly on the ragged shirt-tail peeking over the edge of the trash can.

I rip my gaze away with gritted teeth.

No. Absolutely fucking not.

It’a bad enough that I walked out on Gale without so much as a half-assed explanation. I ain’t gonna compound my dick-like behaviour by showing up at her door in the middle of the night, demanding to pick up where we left off.

Especially not after everything I've already subjected her to today — getting her fired, burning her in front of her friends, pulling her into a fight, dragging her on a forced route march 'cross town, and then literally ripping the shirt off her back. And, if that isn’t bad enough, I topped off her night by dumping the proverbial clutch on her when I should've been taking her for the ride of her life.

I swallow painfully. No. That ship had definitely sailed...

Which means it’s high time to take my own fuckin' advice and get her — and this entire mess of a day — out of my head.

No excuses.

And since the overpriced mini bar had let me down, I’m down to my only alternative — running myself into the ground.

Pushing myself up with a resigned exhale, I trudge over to my duffle. Reaching in, I extract the exercise shorts and t-shirt that always forms part of my go-bag, no matter where I went. Because you never know when you’re gonna need to blow off some steam. And going for a run’s a damn sight healthier than disappearing down the neck of a bottle. Even if the latter’s a helluva lot more convenient.

Throwing the clothes on, along with some socks and my well-worn trainers, I turn back to the bedside table to grab my phone and gun...

...and catch sight of the shirt again.

Motherfucker.

Jamming the phone and the Sig into my pockets — it always pays be prepared then be left holding your dick when shit inevitably hits the fan — I march over to the bin and yank the accursed thing out.

Scrunching it up, I turn on my heel, and stomp out of the room, snatching the keycard up on the way. Wrenching the door open, I let it bang shut behind me as I head down the corridor.

I cannot catch one goddamn break tonight...

Reaching the lifts, I briefly contemplate calling one. But given that I’m already wound tighter than a two-dollar watch, I know I won’t be able to stand the wait, no matter how brief.

So, I divert instead to the fire exit. Pulling the heavy door open, I throw myself into a jog and take the stairs upwards two at a time.

I guess I could've just as easily gone downstairs. But I don’t trust myself not to wind up at Gale's brownstone again if I hit the streets. Which means that the only place I can conceivably go is to the top-floor gym.

Which — all things considered — is probably the better bet anyway. Because going for a jog in the dead of night around the City That Never Sleeps is a risk not worth taking. And even though Central Park’s less than a block away, it’s not actually an option, given that (a) it’s shut overnight, and (b) it isn’t the best lit, and I don’t particularly feel like getting jumped by a knife wielding yahoo, or twisting an ankle on an uneven path.

Plus, I'd have to be a monumental idiot to even think about leaving Chris unattended again. Not that I expect to him go anywhere at this hour — except maybe all the way with Hayley. But I’m not about to make the same mistake twice in one day.

Christ knows I paid for it hard the first time 'round...

I feel my legs start to burn as I continue to climb relentlessly. But knowing that this is exactly what I need if I’m to have any hope of catching some zzz's tonight, I ignore the discomfort and push myself on.

Arriving on the 25th floor, I pause on the landing to catch my breath. But the short burst of exercise has merely thrown me a second wind. I still have a long way to go if I want to waste myself completely.

So, moving over to the stairwell door, I pull it open and step into the gym. Given the lateness of the hour, there's not a soul in sight, and it's just me and the view.

But there’s one thing I need to take care of first.

Locating the changing rooms, I head inside. And before I can think too much on it, or change my mind, I stride over to the dirty towel hamper and chuck the ruined shirt in...

...and dump a few towels on top of it for good measure.

Dead and buried.

Spinning quickly around, I exit the way I'd come, focusing my attention on the row of TechnoGym treadmills that face out onto the distantly twinkling lights of Harlem in the north, and not on how twisted my guts feel all of a sudden.

Picking a machine, I pull my phone and sidearm out of my pockets and place them onto the console so they won’t bang against my thighs as I ran, but still remained within reach in case I need them.

Taking a deep breath, I step resolutely onto the belt and hit go on a program at random.

The pace starts off sedately, barely faster than a speed walk. Reaching up to the console, I tap the speed up impatiently, not wanting to waste time on a warm-up I don’t need and most definitely don’t want.

I’n here to burn rubber.

The motor kicks into a higher gear, but it's not enough. Even though I’m now at a steady jog, my heart rate's barely above resting and I've yet to break a sweat. Not to mention the fact that my mind’s still fixating on the very thing I need to flush out of my system.

Gale, legs spread and head thrown back, moaning my name...

Raising my hand with a growl, I slap the panel again... and again... and again... until the belt is a blur beneath my feet and I'm pelting it like a demented bat outta hell.

The sudden speed forces my body into overdrive. My chest expands, my focus narrows, and my blood begins to pump in earnest, trying to supply my body with oxygen faster than it was being consumed.

I fall into a breakneck rhythm, limbs pumping to the rapid beat of my breath in a desperate effort to stay on the treadmill.

In... In... In... In... Out... Out... Out... Out...

The minutes and the miles tick past on the screen in front of me, but I barely register the stats. I'm too busy chasing oblivion...

...which remains stubbornly out of reach.

Because even as I push myself to the limit and my lungs start to burn and my muscles start to cramp, I can't escape her. She's still there, hazel-green eyes dancing on the edge of my awareness, the honey scent of her hair tickling my senses like smoke on the breeze.

And even as my vision begins to swim and the relentless pace pushes me to the verge of puking, I don't let myself ease up. Because that would be an admission of defeat and I’m not the type to quite that easy.

Not when there’s so much on the line.

Because beyond the fact that I let myself become consumed by a girl I barely know — an unhealthy and unsustainable hang-up that I need to nip in the bud, pronto — my continued preoccupation also ended up endangering Chris' life tonight.

And that’s inexcusable.

Not only is the guy the heir to a fuckin' throne, but he is my best — and arguably only — friend. And I let him down, both personally and professionally, by allowing myself to get distracted, just because a pretty set of legs had walked by.

And while I somehow managed to salvaged my colossal fuck-up, and we all walked away tonight without any casualties, I probably won’t m be able to pull a miracle like that out of my ass every time.

Nor should I expect to.

Especially not during the social season, when Chris is going to be constantly in the spotlight, shaking hands, being interviewed, always in an exposed setting. All it would take is one moment of distraction, one second of lost focus, for someone to pull a gun, to slip through the crowd, for our worlds to come crashing down.

And I’m not gonna let Chris — my brother — down like that.

I can’t.

So, doubling down, I dig deep and continue to pound the vestiges of my frustrations, my failings, and my regret relentlessly into the treadmill, the hard and fast staccato of my feet against the machine echoing around the otherwise empty space.

I have no clue how long I run for. Minutes? Hours? It makes no difference. Every wheeze feels like my last, every exertion a desperate attempt to break free of the purgatory of mistakes I trapped myself in.

And still I push on. Until I hit the proverbial wall and collapse against it, my vision blurry, my limbs shaking, my clothes drenched.

I stand there for what feels like eternity, feet straddling either side of the machine, the belt still whizzing at breakneck speed beneath me while I cling to the console like a life-line, trying to catch my breath.

And eventually my heart-rate slows, the buzzing in my ears clears, and I regain enough coherence to lift a hand and slap the treadmill off.

Pushing myself up to a standing position as the machine whirls to a stop, I wipe the sweat from my eyes and glance at the screen in front of me.

10 miles. 56 minutes.

I scoff wryly. Well, fuck me if that ain’t a new personal best... Who knew that self-pity could be such a potent motivator...?

Exiting the menus, I grab my stuff and move to step off the machine... only to very narrowly avoid face planting into the floor.

Oh, shit...!

Grabbing the console, I shake my head to try and clear the sudden nausea.

Christ, I feel awful...

My eyes land on the water fountain and I lurch towards it like a drunk out of a bar. Because that’s exactly how I feel like — sluggish, light-headed and stumbling around like a newborn calf. Which is no surprise considering I've just run the best part of half a marathon as if the Devil himself had been after me, having consuming nothing but two bottles of beer beforehand.

Apparently I do hate myself.

Managing to make it to the far wall without any incident — just — I lean over the dispenser to inhale the cool stream of water, nearly making myself choke in the process.

But I know I need to rehydrate myself, otherwise I’m gonna be in a world of pain in a few hours' time. So, after overcoming the initial shock to my system, I force myself to loosen up on the pace and start taking longer and slower gulps.

Having finally satisfied my body's cravings, I let go of the dispenser button to run the back of a trembling hand over my water-soaked mouth.

Sweet Jesus, I’m a mess...

I can’t remember the last time I pushed myself this hard on a workout.

But then I've never felt this way before... Like I’m an idiot, like I missed the pass, like I’m stuck in a maze with no way out.

And even though the hard run had managed to clear my mind, that latent feeling of... something is still there, writhing just beneath the surface, like an unscratchable itch under my skin.

And maybe it'll never go fully away. But I’m not about to give up without putting in a damn good fight.

Pushing myself up, I turn towards the pool. And even though I haven’t brought any swim trunks with me, my feet are already pulling me towards the siren call of the water.

Because if there’s one thing that’a guaranteed to set me right, it’s a full-body dunk.

Arriving at the side of the pool, I peel my sweat-soaked clothes off, leaving only my boxers on for the sake of modesty in case someone happens to walk in.

Taking a breath, I step out over the edge and plunge straight in.

The sting of salt hits my nose — not the same flavour as the Med, but then no pool’s ever gonna compete with that — as the water envelopes me and I let myself sink below the surface.

I hit the bottom and the echoey silence settles like a blanket around me, soothing my senses, taming my pulse.

I've always loved the water. Even before I could walk, I'd make a butt-shuffling beeline towards the end of the beach where the waves crashed onto the shore, unveiling a treasure trove of crabs, seashells and shiny rocks.

Of course, Mom'd been terrified that I'd get swept out to sea, or drown. So, to appease her fear, Dad had started taking me to swim lessons — first at the local therapy pool, but graduating quickly to the higher classes in the lap pool as I learnt to float, hold my breath, and leap off the diving board, all by the age of three.

From there my obsession only grew. I joined the school swim team, the water polo team, and even got certified as a lifeguard over the course of one summer. In short, I spent almost as much time in the water as out of it.

And then Chris introduced me to sailing.

At first I couldn't see the appeal of drifting around the Med on a sofa-sized boat when you could be swimming in it. But I've never been able to say 'no' to my best friend, so when he insisted I join him for a spin around the marina in his new Wayfarer one evening, I'd begrudgingly said yes. And had become instantly hooked. The speed, the technical precision, the feeling of flying over the water — it was all addictive.

Jack Sparrow'd had it right when he'd said that a ship is not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails. Because even though those things are integral to the make-up of any craft, what a ship — or yacht, or catamaran, or any other vessel — really is, is freedom.

And for a restless 14 year-old, there was nothing more attractive than ditching the world to hang out with your buddy in the middle of the ocean, free of worries or adult supervision, just enjoying the endless view while you fished and talked about nothing in particular.

Of course, being teenagers, we were bound to get ourselves into deep water — quite literally. Which is how we ended up deciding that it'd be a great idea to take out a much larger sloop one evening... only to end up paying for that mistake when a storm decided to roll in out of the blue, catching us off guard and capsizing our craft.

And while that particular misadventure had ended up turning Chris off sailing once and for all, it had made me even more determined to get back out onto the water and obtain my ICC license. Which I did, the following summer.

And even though I no longer have Chris to share my maritime adventures with, my love of sailing — and of being out on the water — never diminished.

Because the sea is — and always has been — my personal haven.

Feeling my lungs start to itch from the lack of oxygen, I reluctantly open my eyes and kick back up to the surface.

But I don't feel like returning to dry land just yet.

So, drawing a quick breath, I stretch myself out and dip into an easy freestyle. Half-a-dozen strokes and I reach the edge of the pool. Diving down, I flip myself around to kick off the wall, resurfacing into a backstroke.

I repeat the pattern for about ten laps, enjoying the rare sense of peace that comes with gliding weightlessly through the water, strokes moving effortlessly in time with my breath.

Eventually, though, I’m forced to call it quits as my body finally runs out of steam and my rhythm starts to falter.

Grabbing onto the edge of the pool, I pause to catch my breath, arms and shoulders tingling from the exertion...

...and I suddenly realise that I'm starving.

Which, all things considered, is hardly surprising. The last time I had anything to eat was at that Midtown stake-house at dinner-time, which was over eight hours ago. And since then I've probably burnt through 800 calories' worth of pure stress, not to mention all the physical exertion I've put myself through. So, my blood sugar levels are shot.

Pulling myself out of the water, I pad over to the other side of the pool to collect my gear.

I briefly contemplate having a shower, but quickly ditch the idea on the basis that (a) I hadn't brought a change of clothes with me, and (b) I can’t trust myself not to go rooting for the ruined shirt that I ditched in the changing rooms earlier.

So, brushing off the worst of the water, I head straight for the lifts.

I’m not expecting to cross paths with anyone at whatever time in the morning it is. And if I do... well, they can suck it up. It's not like I’m walkin' around buck-ass naked.

Arriving back on our booked-out floor, I make my way to my room. Fishing the keycard out of the pocket of my shorts, I let myself in and flick the door closed behind me.

Dropping my exercise kit by my duffle, I locate the 24-hour room service menu and do a quick scan of the options.

A couple of items jump out at me, but knowing that I'll probably have breakfast with the guys in a few hours' time, I don’t want to have anything too heavy.

But then my eyes land on the cheeseburger, and before I can think twice about it, I've reached for the hotel phone and I'm putting the order through.

And even though I tell myself that it's because I never got to finish the one back at the dive bar two nights ago, I know that I'm lying to myself...

...so, I add a bottle of whiskey to the order for good measure.

Because I don’t want to blow up all my hard work by falling back into the same emotional sink hole that I only very narrowly managed to drag myself out of just now. So, I need something to distract myself.

Hanging up, I quickly sort my sweaty clothes out and stow them in the duffle before making my way into the bathroom to have another shower.

Once done, I throw on my jeans and a t-shirt (not bothering with socks or underwear) and flick the wall-mounted TV on to find something to pass the time with while I wait for the food to show up.

Not seeing any movies or series that particularly interest me, I eventually settle on a rerun of an old Pats game...

...but I find my mind wandering.

And it doesn't take long for my treacherous sub-conscious to dig up the very images that have been stalking me all night.

Gale, up in my face out on the club balcony, testing my limits and my sanity with that sassy smile of hers...

Gale, head thrown back and ass pressed up against me as we move to the techno-beat on the crowded dance-floor...

Gale, legs wrapped around me as her nails rake over my skin, fighting to get my shirt off as my tongue invades her mouth...

I groan despite myself, shifting uncontrollably on top of the covers...

...and realise that I've already lost the battle.

Shit.

My eyes land ruefully on the tell-tale tent pole straining the front of my pants.

I huff out a tight exhale.

If there'd been one thing I wanted to avoid tonight, it’s this...

Because I know that as soon as I dip a toe in that particular Rubicon, I’m screwed. And not in a good way.

Because when you've been continuously pushed to the edge, only to be yanked back each and every time from the precipice of release, a plain ol' wank just isn’t gonna do it.

Sure, jacking one out relieved the immediacy of the pent up need. But it’s never gonna hold a candle to the real thing. In part because it’s over in minutes and in part because cumming into your own hand feels about as satisfying as throwing yourself a one-man pity party.

Because sex is a team sport. And trying to run a solo play — when you know what the real thing feels like — is always gonna fall short of expectations. Because when you’re on your own, there’s no one to share the thrill with. To kiss, to tease, to fuck to the limit before letting go so you can finally implode into each other.

Which is why I'd tried my damnedest to exhaust myself so I wouldn't find myself in this situation. At least not until we were back in Cordonia, and I could avail myself of some options...

...'cept now I don’t have a choice.

Not unless I want to greet the bell hop with a raging hard-on...

Because unfortunately for me, my dick has apparently decided that it'd had enough of being baited, and is now gonna bend me over the barrel to get what it wants.

Regardless of the fact that it’s gonna be a massive let-down for both of us.

So, even as I try to shift my focus back to the Pats game — and sideline my ever-growing erection — all I manage to achieve is an even more persistent itch in my pants.

Because despite my resistance, we both know that thanks to the missed opportunity with Gale, chances are good that I’m not gonna find anything resembling decent satisfaction until after the Masquerade Ball.

As even though we'll be arriving back to a Palace teeming with all manner of women — from maids to staff to nobles — that doesn’t mean I’m gonna be casting a net. In fact, just the opposite. I’m not the type to shit where I eat (it causes too much unnecessary mess) and I learnt my lesson about fucking aristos the hard way.

Which means that unless I’m planning to shell out for a call girl — hell'd have to freeze over first — a self-administered hand-job is gonna have to tide me over until there’s a big enough gap in my schedule that I can get away from the Palace for a couple of hours and find some stress relief.

I heave a low breath. Fuck my fuckin' life...

But knowing that I've backed myself into a corner, I reach resignedly for my belt. Unhooking the buckle, I fling it to the side to expose the top button of my jeans. Snapping the fastening open with one hand, I yank the zip down with the other.

The denim falls away and my dick springs free of its confines, its rigid length snapping to attention like an overeager hound that has just caught a scent.

And even though this particular outing isn’t gonna end in the long, hard run we both know we need, that doesn't stop the damn thing from drooling like a mutt in anticipation.

Setting my jaw, I shove my jeans down over my hips, half-heartedly wishing I had some lube or something to try and improve this runaway train-wreck as I reach south...

...and groan out loud as my hand wraps around the warm shaft.

Goddamn...

I’m apparently more deprived than I realised. Though, I guess that shouldn't come as a massive surprise. Especially after the near constant edging that Gale subjected me to tonight, combined with the fact that it's been a good two weeks since the last time I managed to eke out time for a fuck. And that had been mediocre at best.

As if to emphasise the point, my dick bucks against palm, and it's clear that I have a lot of mitigating to do.

Sliding my fist firmly down, then back up again, I set about stoking up a rhythm. And even though it's nothing different to what I've done hundreds of times before, something about the familiar friction sparks an instant fire in my veins.

Maybe it's 'cause I’m exhausted... Maybe it's 'cause my mind’s a mess... Maybe it's 'cause I've gone cold turkey for too long...

But whatever it is, it’s sending me into a tailspin.

I feel my head tip back against the headboard with a low moan as I'm pulled rapidly under by the throes of my self-gratification.

And as my eyes shudder closed in the face of the rising tension, I give myself up to the darkest depths of my desire...

...and in a blink of an eye, I’m back in that cramped apartment, gazing up at Gale from between her legs, the imminence of her climax written on her face, the slickness of her arousal coating my mouth and tongue.

I groan into her as she grips my hair, urging me on with her increasingly desperate pleas, her body quivering above me as she careers towards the edge...

...and I’m suddenly possessed by an all-consuming urge to have her.

Shooting to my feet, with her legs still wrapped around my shoulders, I send her sprawling back over the top of the kitchen counter.

Because I know that we don’t have much time, and if I’m gonna make this happen, we need to do it hard and fast.

And I’m not gonna let myself disappoint her again.

Grabbing her by the waist, I yank her towards me. Her hazel-green eyes widen in shock as her ass dips over the edge of the counter. But my grip on her is unshakeable and she's not going anywhere.

Not yet anyway.

Not until I've fucked her six ways 'til Sunday, and even then I probably won’t let her leave.

Because this girl sets me on fire like nobody else, and I need her to burn with me.

Bending down to give her decadent folds one more self-indulgent lick, I steady her with one hand while I rip my belt and jeans open with the other, not able to take my eyes off her as she writhed before me.

"Drake...!"

The sound of my name slipping off her lips like a fervent prayer unleashes something feral inside of me. Something I didn't even know existed in the dark recesses of my soul. Something that instantly swallows whatever vestiges of rational thought I have left, leaving only one, single-minded purpose:

To make her mine.

And in some corner of my brain I know I should be terrified. Of this rabid hunger that she's unwittingly awakened within me. Of the fact that I can’t control it... and don’t want to.

But I'm already past the point of no return. And I can’t give a rat's ass.

Because the only thing I care about is fulfilling that unspoken obsecration of hers until she’s ruined for all other men.

Shoving my jeans and boxers down with a growl, I grab her hips and ram myself into her in one, brutal motion.

Her wet heat engulfs me, taking me fully, causing my eyes to roll back into my head as I revel in the sheer euphoria of her, her deep-throated cry of agreement rising up around me.

Christ, she feels amazing!

And if the mere act of being inside her doesn’t already feel like pure rapture, she then decides to up the ante even further.

"Fuck me, Drake," she demands, arching her lower back forward.

A guttural sound rattles my throat as she rolls her hips against me, cranking up the torsion as she pulls me in even deeper.

And I could've lost it then and there.

But somehow — whether through sheer force of will, or by the grace of God — I manage to tamp down the rapidly rising swell in order to heed her command.

Because this isn’t about me. This is about her. And I’m gonna make damn sure that she gets what she wants before I let myself cum inside her.

Even if it kills me.

Opening my eyes, I meet her hazel-green gaze with an affirmative smirk. "Yes, ma'am."

She wraps her legs around me expectantly...

...and I slam us together roughly, loudly, unapologetically.

She gasps beneath me, hands flying to the edge of the counter to grip it like an anchor in a storm, her entire body reverberating with the impact of our collisions.

But I don't stop. I can't. I pound into her like a man possessed... because I am. All semblance of logic, of reason, of God-given sense has evaporated and I devolve into the basest version of myself, one that is driven purely by lust and instinct.

And even though I know I won't be able to hold out, that I'll cave in the face of her rhapsodic screams and the almost painful pressure she’s putting on my dick, I'm powerless to pull the e-brake. If anything, it makes me rev the throttle even harder.

Because she just feels too damn good, and I've been at her mercy from the start.

Lifting my head, I lock eyes with her. And in those lust-blown, hazel-green depths, I see more than just need... more than just passion.

I see complete faith.

And it undoes me.

I explode into her with a ragged, animalistic cry, my body jerking with the force of my deliverance.

"Holy... fuck!"

The long-coveted wave of release crashes over me, wiping away my thoughts and my vision, and I'd be convinced that I passed out were it not for the high-pitched ringing in my ears and the thundering of my heart.

A few more pumps, a shuddered breath as the last swell rises, and I’m left drained, floating.

I stay there, motionless, revelling in that all-too brief moment of calm before the chaos of the world spins back up around me.

Sweet Jesus, that w—

Her warm lips brush against my sweat-streaked forehead, her honey-camomile scent drifting over me like a drunken haze...

I move to lean into her. "Harp—"

...but she's already gone.

The story continues in Chapter 11 - Cold Light of Day

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Sleepless in New York only

@bebepac

Picture Credits

Insomnia - Dawn - New York - Run - Swim - Drake - Pool

[brainz4sale]

I keep coming back to your blog so much. I think I’ve fallen for you. I wanna be your little sub so badly. Every time you talk to another anon, I get a little jealous because I want you to treat me like that. I want you to be obsessed with me so I can be obsessed with you. Please please please. I’ve dreamed about you stalking me and lying down with me after finding me and treating me like yours. I wake up so needy every time

stooop that’s so cute 🥺

your words make me feel all flustered hehe ㅤᵕ̈

there is no need to get jealous, I’m poly! but I appreciate your possessiveness my darling :( it’s the most adorable thing in the world ! I would love to have someone as an obsession that obsesses over me as well >< I always feel like I’m too much or like their affection isn’t as genuine or intense as mine /lh /nm

cw stalking I would love to become friends and then at some point we just get creepier and more obsessive with each other >< like I need someone to watch..I want to invade someone’s personal life…make them feel thrilled but so loved at the same time…I want to have someone that allows me to see ALL of them you know? I can’t stop thinking about how good it would feel to watch or follow someone with a distance, write down everything they like or dislike, their dreams, personal information, collect all their things (no matter how small or weird) and cherish them like their my most precious possessions, listen in to their private convos or read all their chats, sending them obsessive love letters, stalking their accounts and spamming them with anon messages and likes, always making sure their happy and healthy, leaving notes and gifts everywhere, just waiting at their house ahh >< I want to break into someone’s room and look at it like a fucking museum, take some things maybe and I know that’s creepy but THATS NOT EVEN THE SEXUAL OR DETAILED FANTASIES..I‘m a little weirdo I never denied that hehe :33

As much as I love stalking..I would give everything to be stalked as well >< as someone with severe paranoia of being watched / listened to / invaded in my house it kinda helps to romanticise that? and I just know I would be the perfect victim! I’m so open and detailed about everything, actually feeding into the fantasy and I’m not so easily scared off (unless you are abus!ve w/o consent) So If I had a affectionate stalker I would appreciate their attention and obsession so much..every message, every question, every compliment, every look, every second they waste on me, would mean the world to me! I want them to express their fantasy fully and I want them to thrill me and make me feel special / loved as well as creeped out a bit ૮ ´∩∩` ა if you’re into that, I’m here for you <3 just keep talking to me, show consistency to win my heart hehe !! I would love to have a new anon 𐙚⋆.˚ /pos (it’s 6am sorry if this doesn’t make sense entirely, I have just woken up two hours ago haha)

[oriocookie]

i need everyone in the good omens fandom to know that when s3 was announced yesterday it was about 8 in the morning for me. now, i am not the worlds biggest good omens fan. it’s just never been a hyperfixiation of mine, even though it’s REALLY GOOD. my roommate, however, is VERY OBSESSED with good omens.

and at 8am yesterday, she was still asleep.

i considered waking her up, but i figured that would maybe be a dick move. please keep in mind that i don’t sleep in much (time of writing this is 6am, btw, so if that doesn’t give you perspective on my sleep schedule nothing will). i was very tired, and trying to figure out the best way to get my roommate to wake up so that i could tell her the good news.

my dumbass brain decided to stare at her. for two hours.

i did other things, of course, but i was just looking at her out of the corner of my eye and waiting for her to move so i could start talking. i waited INCREDIBLY patiently for an adhd mf so i’m proud of myself for that.

i also think i might have scared her bc i was too jittery to get words out in the right order so i was about to say stuff like “you might need to sit down” and then realized she was in bed still. because she had been asleep. it didn’t matter she heard the news and all was well.

anyway i probably should sleep more so i’m not running on like 5 hours of sleep today. shoutout to my roommate you did not know what living with me was gonna be like and now you CAN’T leave >:) you’re stuck with me

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

That comment about Sharp Teeth on the poll post is so funny to me because that fic is what first gave me Rolan brainrot. It's your fault smh. And tbh I quite like the fast pace it sets. Like yeah maybe it's a bit less atmospheric as a result, but there's something to be said about a story grabbing you by the throat and wrenching you through the plot until its suddenly 6am and you realize you hadn't slept because you'd stayed up all night binging this damn fic

Hehehe thank you! Pleased to be dragging people into the Rolan obsession, by the tail if necessary ;)

And yes, I’m certainly still very proud of it and not even sure if the pacing is a problem - like, I wasn’t trying to write a slow burn anyway, and we all KNOW (mostly) how the BG3 story goes. On re-reading, I feel like it does rip through the first two chapters, but that’s fine. We start to go a bit longer and slower when Tav and Rolan actually get to interact in interesting ways beyond the game events. I also really had to work to stuff all the latter Act 3 plot down into the last section after Tav and Rolan are firmly Together. I felt that Lae’zel’s place in the story meant the House of Hope had to happen, and of course Gortash has to die - but aside from Orin those events are not very Rolan-centric, even when Tav is dating him. So I picked out the bits that I hoped would be most relevant and crushed the rest down to neutron-star density.

(Hazily mumbling to myself at this point: what even IS pacing anyway? Do I have a clue what I mean?)

Anyway thanks for the ask <3 And proud to be ruining sleep schedules in the name of our beloved Tiefling wizard ;)

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

Okay so I’ve already squealed about most of what I love about Canto Bites but not only is it my favourite of the three stories, it’s one of my favourite fanfics I’ve ever read, I’m absolutely obsessed with the angst. Like, I’ve read more than my fair share of death scenes, but that one hit HARD and I enjoyed reading it all so much

And I don’t think I need to elaborate on how much I enjoyed the spicy part

BUT question time! It’s like 6am right now so I’ll send more questions once I’ve thought of them but I have to know, Quizzy said that racing fathiers was unlike MXW, so how did they end up there? And how did they fall in with Guiye and Krol?

Eeeeee thank you!!! Honestly I really, really struggle with reading. I absolutely don't have the attention span for it and my mind tends to wander or glaze over paragraphs and I have to focus really hard on it and go back over and over, so I've always thought like, how could I possibly write something good if I can't even read well. Which sucks because like, I love literature! I just hate reading. So, it's just really nice to hear. Thank you.

Especially this work, which I worried about before releasing. It was more small scale, dialogue-heavy than the others. My husband did not enjoy this one as much because he said it felt kind of out of character for the Grand Inquisitor but honestly? I have to push back on that. There's always this razor's edge of cruelty he's about to step over, but he isn't doing so because he also knows this person. We've never seen the Grand Inquisitor react to someone they were friends with before becoming an Inquisitor. Yes he is more amicable, tame, and open, but he's constantly on the verge of flipping that switch too if he needs to. And there is more than one way to bring someone to the dark side, it isn't all torture and physical violence. It can be coercion and manipulation, which he is absolutely doing here. Both are desperately trying to flip the other to their side, but neither is willing to give.

As for your questions: so, I'll be the first to admit I don't know that much about horse racing, BUT, specifically in Star Wars canon, over and over I was finding references to how badly racing fathiers were treated, especially at Canto Bight. MXW is very empathetic towards animals, and would never want to make an animal suffer. Mostly, fathiers are used as work and transportation animals in the galaxy far, far away, especially on backwater planets such as Dantooine where even electricity is rare. MXW likely moved to Dantooine to escape persecution, found work as a rancher breeding fathiers as work animals and doing like, fun local races at fairs there, but then started supplying fathiers to rebels and heard about the Grand Admiral and concocted a larger plot around racing fathiers specifically for revenge. So in a sense, they are starting to blur their morality in the name of their wrath, although they are doing their best to still balance looking after the animals too.

Unlike NAJ, MXW hasn't completely lost themselves to the darkness, which is why their fates are necessarily so different. It really is good to compare NAJ and MXW though. MXW is definitely toeing the line with the dark side- angry, passionate, overly-attached. But their reaction to the Inquisitor is to desperately try to look for their friend, to find the goodness, and be revolted by or even refuse to accept the bad. NAJ's reaction to "do you know what I do to Jedi?" is literally just, *shrug* "doesn't matter, I'm not a Jedi" when yeah, it ABSOLUTELY should matter. NAJ already lost the battle and doesn't even realize it yet. The Grand Inquisitor senses that MXW is maybe starting to play in that space, and wants to exploit that, but doesn't get the chance.

As for Guiye and Krol, I think they are fairly recent additions to MXW's life, met through the rebellion's activities on Dantooine. Dantooine was one of the first places the rebellion actually had a physical base, although even that comes years after this. I still think it would have been an early rallying/meetup point. Guiye is a Twi'lek and Krol is a grizzled old man, but this small crew definitely gets along well. This story takes place pretty early on after the formation of the empire, like ~5-7 years in, in my mind. Which is also why the Grand Inquisitor is all around less experienced than we see him later on.

Thanks for the ask, again I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[allylikethecat]

It’s like 6am for me and I just got back and was gonna sleep but then I remembered I haven’t sent an ask for the last THREE fics and that’s criminal so I’m doing them first (I apologise if they’re short in falling asleep😭)

So On a Friday!!!!!!!!

Fictional George coming to mattys aid instantly oml. Also as always I’m obsessed w fictional mattys fixation on the shark plushie. Even when he’s scared for his own safety he’s still worrying that someone might damage his shark :( I know you said you didn’t think it would turn out well as a chapter but personally I think it was perfect (as usual)

Ducklings!!!

Sneaky double post first of all. Iconic. And you are KILLING MEE with us not getting mattys perspective this chapter and we have to WAIT MORE to see what’s happening omlll. But George going to Ross was so perfect and we get to see that he was never really actually mad at Matty just overwhelmed thank GOD. But also fictional Ross’s reaction was PERFECT. Fictional Matty protector over all else.

And all the Kings Horses

The fic of all fics. I adore it as always. The date was so cute, and fictional Matty stumbling over his words when he’s nervous again. Also I keep forgetting that they’re in their mid 20s so a whole bottle of wine is going to actually give them a hangover haha- I’m still somewhat living in the privelage of a hangover free age range. I loved fictional Adam and his relationship w Carly seems so sweet!!

I’m sure there was more I meant to say but I honestly can’t remember rn 😭 but perfect writing as always

Omg that fact that you sent this at 6am your time is wild because it was around 10pm my time. Time zones are WILD. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this lovely ask 🥰

I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the new chapter of On a Friday! I was very nervous about posting it since I'm not very confident about my smut writing, BUT I'm so grateful for how supportive everyone has been! LOL Fictional!Matty LOVES his shark plushie she was there for him during his lowest of lows and he is very attached to her. When he's having his breakdown, he's not thinking rationally, so obviously the alpha he's terrified of is also a threat to shark plushie 🥺

!!! I hope you enjoyed the double drop surprise! Things are a-happening in Ducklings! Fictional!George knows now! And Fictional!George knows that Fictional!Ross knows... but Fictional!George also didn't mean to absolutely verbally destroy Fictional!Matty and now he is feeling VERY guilty about it, especially since Fictional!Matty is missing...

AHHH I'm so so happy you enjoyed All the King's Horses! I am so obsessed with that fic and I have so much fun working on it! I am so jealous that you are in the hangover free range. I used to be like that back when life was wonderful and beautiful, now I *think* about having a glass of wine and I am deathly hungover I think an entire bottle would actually kill me and thus Fictional!Matty gets to suffer the same way I do (sorry Fictional!Matty). Fictional!Adam might not play a huge role in this fic, but he realllly loves his wife and is so happy to pay for her horses, as long as he doesn't have to go near them!

Thank you SO SO SO MUCH for sending this wonderful ask!! I hope you had a wonderful night that lead to the early morning and I hope you continue to have a fantastic weekend! I hope you continue to enjoy my fics! Thank you again!

❤️Ally

[paladindansewaifu]

Fallout 4 companion height headcanons:

There is basically no logical reason why I picked these heights. Some have thought put in, some are completely how I imagine things, but here they are.

Cait: 5’7- She’s scrappy and feisty, and I imagine her above average female height.

Codsworth: (if he’s touching the ground) around 5’0- Mr. Handy seems human-ish sized but still smaller so he’s not intimidating.

Curie: robot: 5’0- Same as Codsworth. Synth: 5’1- She’s cute, and I imagine she’d be dainty and traditionally feminine.

Paladin Danse: 6’5- Maybe it’s because his Power Armor makes him seem huge, or because he oozes testosterone (or because my fantasies say so) but I refuse to believe he’s under 6’2.

Deacon: 6’0- No real reason. He just seems kind of normal tall? He probably gets knee surgery to change his height? That’s not even a thing.

Dogmeat: 2’0- I was going to just put ‘dog height’, but I actually Googled German Shepherd height. I’m dedicated to this work.

Hancock: 5’2-5’5- Everyone is this fandom believes he’s a short king with BDE, myself included. Do ghouls shrink? Maybe he was taller as a human?

MacCready: 5’8- He is a little, stealthy boy. Little cinnamon roll.

Nick: 5’10-5’11- Has to be a height similar to a human, but not so tall people were weirded out by Gen 1’s.

Piper: 5’3-5’5- Normal female height.

Preston: 6’0- A nice heroic but not overwhelming height for a heroic but not overwhelming boy.

Strong: 7’5-8’0- At least a foot taller than a fairly tall human, so I went really big. Super Mutants are supposed to be scary. I think that build at 8’0 would be kind of terrifying.

X8-88: 6’1- The Institute can make Synths as tall as they want, and they probably want Coursers to be a little intimidating.

Ada: As tall as you make her. Default? Probably around 5’0-5’5.

Automatron: Same as Ada.

Old Longfellow: 5’10-5’11- No reason to imagine him super tall, but his name isn’t Old Shortfellow. XD

Porter Gage: 5’7- A lot of angry in a little package.

[hot-topic-piss]

To quote my first impression: “I was adamant of starting it because I thought it was a historically accurate pirate au. But no, it’s just normal Sonic timeline but Metal Sonics wants to LARP as a pirate and kidnapped Amy to play along.”

Yesterday I decided to commit and read the entirite of On the Scarlett Sea by @bimboamyrose and I spent the entire night awake determined to finish it, and I did, I finished it at 6am. I’m obsessed with the writing and the characterization, and while it’s impossible for me to write down all my thoughts I wanted to at least draw something a bit self indulgent with the two dumbasses. Thank you @seagull-scribbles for listening to my constant rambling as I read through the story lol

Anyways I can believe Metal Sonic and Amy canonically got married and made-out in the fic, amazing ✨✨

[hobgayblin]

I’ve made a gay little beast for the eldy rings haha don’t worry about it

I stayed up until like 6am the other night frantically writing a shit ton of notes for this guy and how he would be interactable as an NPC so I’m gonna put that under a cut here too sghfghd 

tl;dr: He’s a vampiric shapeshifting beast that wants to be a dragon so bad he’s going to eat all the dragons. And Varre wants to study him because of his weird blood magic. They are gay friends :)

Draethil, Draconic Impersonator (He/It)

Albinistic Vampiric entity, can drink blood of creatures to shapeshift into the source. Obsessed with dragons, desperately wants to be one but cant transform into something that big. Decides to hunt and drink the blood of every dragon it can find to hopefully be able to slowly change into a dragon. Tall, elongated neck, kinda gangly but obviously strong, spikes and small horns, claws, probably tail, etc etc. Current draconic features come from hunting dragons/draconic beasts on his own for a while. Can shapeshift into many different things including a regular human form but given his goal of becoming a dragon he prefers his fucked partially draconic state at the moment.

As an NPC  - large, scary, but very passive, can be encountered randomly in fields, picking flowers or hanging out with animals - if talked too will be surprised you want to talk instead of attacking him - tells you about his interest in dragons, asks if you have encountered any - if you have you can say yes and tell him an area you've seen one in. He will go to that area and can be summoned to help fight that dragon - if you send him to a dragon he will stay there until you kill it OR if you do not kill it before the great rune boss of that region he will try to fight it alone and die. His body will be found by whichever dragon and you can get his armor. - if you summon him and reload/go back to the area you will see him crouched over the dragon/part of it sucking blood from it and muttering to himself about becoming a dragon. You can get his attention by hitting him once and immediately tell him the location of another dragon, which he will again help you fight etc etc - if you dont immediately tell him you will have to find him in one of his random spawns again  - you can also attack him several times in the field/when hes eating if you wanna fight him I guess. He will be difficult either way but he will be MORE difficult if you attack him while eating a dragon corpse. Will use more blood magic incantations and be more aggressive  - if he helps you kill all the dragons and is able to eat them you can find him in [location pending] as a secret boss fight hee hee hoo hoo - he becomes a giant draconic/humanoid abomination and he is such a hard bitch oh man. You dont even know bro. Will no longer drop his armor instead will drop uhhh weapon or helmet that let's you do a draconic transformation like in dark souls

Special Varre interactions/Questline - Sometimes if you talk more to Draethil While he is in the fields he will tell you about a nice masked man he met. This will activate a secondary quest line with Varre - The quests are with Varre but Draethil will tell you more about Varre and himself every subsequent time you find him (while not eating a dragon) - IF YOU HAVE JOINED THE BLOOD CULT. Varre will talk about what an interesting creature Draethil is. Basically he wants to study him like an ant because of his weird blood powers and he wants you to give him an invite. If you find him in the field again you can give him and item and he will accept, stating something along the lines of "a new home? for me?" - You can go back to Varre and see him initiate Draethil Into the blood cult. Reload and Varre will have more dialogue about him, but he will be gone and continue his regular quest line - Gives Varre a quest line where u dont have to kill him to finish it - Whenever you kill a dragon for Draethil's quest line Varre will have more dialogue about him - if you get all the dialogue from Varre he will be summonable for Draethil's big boss fight - If you kill Draethil with Varre summoned you can reload and see him kneeling by the corpse, being sad and saying sad shit. Varre will give you Draethil's armor. This is the only way to get the armor and do the boss fight - If Varre is summoned and can survive the fight, when Draethil is at about 1/5th health Varre can help pacify him and there is an option for surrender - If you spare him during the boss fight and then attack him anyway he will die instantly, giving you his boss item,  but Varre will immediately become hostile and attack you - if you let him live you will get gay dialogue between him and Varre and he will permanently go hang out with him. He will also assume his human form (realized his dream may be a bit fucked, finds new comfort in humanity) and become a teacher for blood incantions. - He will also give you an item called Vampiric Blood Vial or s/t like that and it’s basically a mimic veil but instead of changing into objects in the area you change into fauna like turtles or goats and can run around as those.

[baecvlt]

Stalker Nagito Komaeda x Milf!Reader

this was requested via my twitter:

“Hey! i’ve seen your works and I’m in love. Can I request smut where a stalker Nagito Komaeda becomes obsessed with a milf reader who moves into the neighborhood who’s like a dom in bed and ya know just large bust and taller than him. Thank youuu🤍”

a/n: ofc. but I have my own idea of a dom which i’ll use involving certain things (heed warnings)

warnings: he is so obviously a virgin in this, degradation, slight masochism, asphyxiation, spit, also Nagito calls the reader mommy (side note: nagito is in his early 20s in this, he lives alone. age of reader isn’t specified BUT I say she’s in her late 20s/early 30s)

• • •

It was a bright day...which Nagito despised. It was summer. He hated the sun, hated the mosquitoes, and the unnecessary humidity. It was days like these he wishes he was back at his university dorm. The A/C, the tall tree covering his window and blocking the sun...it was perfect. Hell, he didn’t even hate classes. Yet, he couldn’t live in the dorms forever. When it came time to buy a home, he stupidly did so in fall, moved in during the winter.

Well, no shit the home seemed perfect then. It wasn’t fucking summer. His A/C decided to break, his windows has a great view of the sun, and most of his friends were out of town (all except Hajime, but Hajime is fucking boring and a bummer). Nagito sat on his couch, watching reruns of old tv shows. He took a sip from his nearby glass (cold water), suddenly hearing sounds of what appeared to be a loading van. He looked outside his window.

A moving van?

Right, that one old man who lived there passed away. Freak accident, by the way. Oh well, may he rest in peace. Meanwhile, Nagito was being himself and trying to see who it was. Pretty much, the dude was being nosy. He saw another car pull up. That must’ve been the family’s car. Out jumped 3 kids, what appeared to be 2 girls and 1 boy. An adult stepped out. Nagito decided he’d get a better look at the situation. He put on his shirt, black jeans, and his green hood.

He was “going for a walk”.

Without being noticed, he made his way to the other side of the street. It was a woman, she was taking boxes out of the truck. The minute Nagito saw her it was if he was stricken by Cupid’s arrow. She was tall and beautiful. Her skin complimented her hair and her legs, he couldn’t take his eyes off them. Her breasts...he needed to stop—

“Hi!”

She was in front of him, a warm and inviting smile on her face. “H-Hi,” he muttered. She didn’t hear him well, so it helped that he waved. “I’m new in the neighborhood. We just moved in,” she added, putting the box down. She stuck her hand out, going for a handshake. He shook her hand, her warm hand against his cold ones. Why are his hands always cold? “I see,” he responded, getting his shit together,“I’m Nagito Komaeda. I live across the street”. She introduced herself and complimented his house.

“What a lovely home. I hope the neighborhood is just as lovely”

“It should be. It’s pretty quiet. There’s not many families here. Say, can I help you pack?”

“You’re too sweet! I’d really appreciate it”

He helped take all the boxes in her home, helping load a couch too, and help with other large objects. They finished in 9 hours, taking a majority of the day. “Thanks for helping out, Nagito”. She made a lemonade, handing him a glass.

“Don’t mention it! Also, thank you”

One of the kids ran in the living room where they sat on the couch. He gasped when he saw Nagito. “Mommy! That man looks dead!!!”. Nagito smiled, but his mom was not amused. “Michael! Apologize..”. The kid kept smiling and said,“Sorry!”. He ran to another room. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered. Nagito shook his head.

“Hey, I’m rather malnourished”

“Ha. On an unrelated topic, are you hungry? I could make us something”

“Oh, I shouldn’t linger any longer. I wouldn’t want to disturb your husband”

She laughed. “I know you mean no harm, but I’m not married,” she added. “Oh,” Nagito muttered,“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it in any way”. She shook her head and reassured him it was fine. “Sit, Nagito,” she pulled out a chair,“I’m not letting you refuse having dinner with us. Especially since you were such help”. She rubbed his back before heading back into the kitchen to begin cooking.

She made him a bowl of pasta, adding chicken on the side. Nagito was quite happy. He hadn’t eaten a good meal in so long. Her kids didn’t eat at the table, but on the counter. Meanwhile, she ate with Nagito. Just as Nagito thought he couldn’t grow fonder of her, he did just that. All she did was let him talk about himself.

“Jesus, I’m sorry about your parents? How are you keeping yourself afloat with university and expenses?”

“Academic scholarships”

“Wow, you’re such a smart boy”

The way she phrased it made him flustered. “Thank you for the meal, ma’am,” he muttered,“I haven’t eaten like this in who knows how long”. She smiled tenderly, picking up his empty plate. “Seconds?”. He shook his head.

“No, thank you. I’m already so full”

“I’m glad. You know, there’s always a meal for you in store if you can do me a favor”

“What’s that?”

“My oldest daughter has her final test this week. You think you can help her study? I’ll make you a nice, warm meal every time you come over”

Nagito thought about it. He would also have time around her. Plus, she wasn’t a bad cook. “Of course, I look forward to it,” he told her. “Lovely”. He got up and excused himself to go home. “It was nice having you over, Nagito,” she said softly. He could tell she was getting sleepy. When people are tired, Nagito has noticed that their tone is rather sheepish. She walked him to the door, ruffling his hair playfully and he blushed. “Goodnight, neighbor”.

“Goodnight, you”

Before he left, she stopped him and handed him a paper: (xxx) xxx-xxxx ♡

“Call me when you get home so I have your number saved. Then, I can call you when my daughter, Vanessa, needs help. Take care, okay?”

He nodded.

She closed the door, his thoughts racing on his way home. He picked up some things about her, things she didn’t even tell him. He went home and opened a notebook, writing all of it down. He called her and she answered, her voice as sweet as when he left (only sleepier). “Hello?”. His breath was heavy without realizing it as he spoke. “H-Hey, you told me to call you,” he breathed,“It’s Nagito...Komaeda”

“Oh, hey, angel! I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

“What? No, it’s all good— why’d you think so?”

“You sound like you need to catch your breath, but anyway, thanks for calling me. I’ve saved your number now”

“Oh, great! Well, if that’s all, I’ll let you go to bed now”

“It was. Goodnight, Nagito”

“G-Goodnight”

He hung up, flustered more than ever as he continued to jot down his thoughts on paper. The next day, he woke up at 6am to wait in his car. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. At around 7:41am, his front neighbor and kids headed for their car. Nagito, who had taken a light nap in the driver’s seat, was awoken by the car starting. He waited for the car to drive away just slightly past his house to start his own car, slowly tailing behind her.

He dropped her kids off at the nearby elementary. She got off, kissed them on their forehead (all minus the eldest, who walked swiftly through the gates). Seeing how she cared for them made Nagito feel bad, but all he did was brush that feeling off. Next, he followed her through her daily. As he did, his notes from last night echoed through his mind, adding new detail.

“She works at an office not everyday She doesn’t have allergies but is sensitive to dust Red seems to be her favorite color but always in a darker shade Her daughter is around 10 years old She isn’t vegan but enjoys almond milk Maybe has an issues with abandonment but I can’t assume that either She buys many apples but not the same amount of bananas at the store so maybe she only eats the bananas—”

Just more to add to his notebook.

He got home before she did, writing down what he had learned. His phone rang about an hour later of him getting home. He picked it up,“Hello?”. “Nagito, hi!”. It was her. He started having a mini-panic attack, because why would she be calling him? “H-Hey, how are you?”

“I’m doing alright. I was wondering if you could come over and tutor Vanessa”

Oh, thank god.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be down there right now”

“Great. See you then!”

He was relieved, heading to her home happily. He knocked on the door. When she opened it, she did so with the same warm smile as yesterday. “Thank you for coming over,” she said,“She’s in her room”. Nagito nodded, freezing when she grabbed his hand and took him to the room. Her touch was so soft, noted. They got to the room, where a girl was reading a book on a desk. “Nessa?”. The girl turned around.

“Nagito is going to be here for a few hours to help you out with homework and studying. He’s really smart, so pay attention and be respectful”

“Okay, mom”

She nodded, squeezing Nagito’s shoulder before leaving. Nagito approached the girl, she took her things out. Before he could speak, she stopped him. “Please don’t call me ‘Nessa’,” she whispered,“It’s bad enough my mom does, but not you, Please”.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on referring to you at all”

“Bastard”

“Nessa”

“I guess I walked right into that one”

Nagito laughed, grabbing a chair and sitting next to her. Her work wasn’t what he expected. Is this what they’re teaching kids now? He could’ve sworn he hadn’t seen this type of stuff until he hit middle school. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t do, but damn. All in all, tutoring went well. Vanessa actually learned something today. “Good job!,” he said. “Thank you,” she smiled and hugged him,“I felt so stupid”.

“Hey, its okay not to understand things”

Her mom walked in. “Dinner’s ready”. Vanessa got up and went to the kitchen. “How’d it go?,” she asked Nagito. “Went well, she gets the math now,” he answered. She smiled, thanking him for his help and asking him to join them for dinner. He’d be foolish not to, so he accepted the invite.

Fish tacos were served tonight with rice and beans, another lemonade made. It was different than anything Nagito had ever had, but that doesn’t equate to bad. He actually enjoyed the meal. The kids sat at the main table today, much more respectful than yesterday. “Michael how was school?”. He put a thumbs up, getting back to eating. “And Adrianna?”. She looked up from her meal and shrugged. “What’s wrong?”.

“I’m tired, but class was okay”

“Oh, okay. When you’re done, just take a quick shower and get to bed”

“Thanks”

Nagito thought it was endearing. Seeing how understanding and loving she was, it was refreshing. The kids all eventually left, Nagito finishing his meal. “Did you like it?”. He looked at her, nodding. “Great! Seconds?”.

“Full again. I don’t usually eat, but your food is always so good”

“Oh, you’re just saying things...”

“No, really! Thank you”

He said his goodbyes to the family, walking back home. It was as if he was falling for this woman more and more everyday. He went to sleep, this time dreaming of her. He never dreams, but this time he dreamt she was on her knees for him. Then, nothing else. It was as if his dream teased him.

The next morning, he woke up to some knocking on the door. He looked at the time. 8:23am. He put on a pair of jeans and his shirt, walking to his door. He opened it and there she stood, wearing a black dress and red heels. He assumed she had work and needed a favor before going. “Good morning,” he said.

“Were you following me yesterday?”

Shit.

“I, uh...,” he didn’t know what to answer. He was indeed following her yesterday. He also liked her, so if he straight up said that he was to following her, it’d ruin things. His face was glowing a shade of pink to a slight red as he thought of the right answer. He was still stumbling over his words. “I think it’s kinda cute,” she added. The fuck? “Huh?”. She pushed him inside the house, closing and locking the door behind him. “When a boy follows someone around, it’s because he wants something,” she added, but her tone was so sultry,“Well, Nagito—”. She pushed him onto the couch, leaning in front of him with her hands on his chest.

“—What do you want?”

None of what was happening felt real. Nagito couldn’t find the words to express what exactly he wanted. This was the first time he’d ever been in a situation like this, it wasn’t a bad one either. He began to panic when she straddled him. “Could it be that you wanted me?,” she asked. He frantically nodded and she laughed as she locked her lips with his. He gasped against her lips, kissing back. She slowly trailed her kisses down to his neck, cupping his jaw while grinding on his lap. Nagito moaned, his shaky hands grabbing her ass. She grabbed his hands and put them away from her. “It’s cute that you’re getting this carried away”.

“I’m sorry”

“No time to apologize. Get on your knees for mommy”

Nagito was about to lose his mind when she said that, but he obeyed. Her presence was domineering as he stood on his knees against his carpeted floor. She spread her legs, noticing Nagito desperately trying to get a look. Her red heel stopped him, stepping on his head lightly. “Am I teasing you?,” she asked,“It’s okay to be honest”.

“Y-You are, but its okay. I want to be teased by you”

“You’re adorable,” she took her heel off his head,“Let’s go to your room”.

He practically ran to his bed. He sat and waited patiently. She entered the room, heading to his bed. She began to take off his shirt, admiring his frame. She then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. He kicked them off and sat down. She sat next to him. “Give me your hands”. She held them, frowning slightly. “Boo, they’re so cold,” she teased,“I’ll warm them up for you”. Carefully, she grabbed his left hand, putting his middle and ring finger in her mouth. She licked to his fingertips, leaving him tense and speechless. She stopped and smiled at him.

“This is your first time, isn’t it?”

He nodded shyly. “Don’t be shy,” she said,“I’m going to guide you, but I’m also going to have my fun”. He gulped, nodded. She stood up and removed her dress. She wore a lacy black bra and panties. She brought his hands to her breasts, allowing him to fondle them. They were huge in his hands. “You like them, baby?”. “Y-Yes,” he muttered,“Can you, uh, take....the bra off?”. He was ashamed when asking, he felt desperate. She smiled and nodded, unhooking it and allowing the bra to fall to the ground. He gasped at the sight of her tits, grabbing them. She straddled him.

“Do you know what to do with them?”

He nodded, rubbing one and sucking the other. She moaned sweetly, grinding on his lap. He popped his mouth off them. That was when she took the opportunity to knock him onto the bed. She began to make out with him, shoving his tongue down her throat. They lay sideways. Her hand was on his neck, slightly choking him. He couldn’t resist but try to grind on her lap. She laughed. “Look at you,” she mocked,“Humping my leg like a desperate little puppy”. She didn’t let him speak, sitting up and pushing him back down. “I’m going to give you what you want,” she whispered in his ear,“Take your cock out”.

He was nervous as he did, hands shaky. She blushed a bit at his size. “It’s so big,” she said, straddling him,“I’m going to have my way with it”. “Please, do what you want to me,” he begged,“Abuse me, please”. She didn’t speak, sinking down on it. Nagito gasped, she was extremely wet. She began to bring her hips up and land straight down on it, repeatedly. She put her hands around his throat, now being rougher. Nagito gasped for air, grabbing her hands.

That was a mistake.

“Hands down,” she ordered, striking him across the face. “Sorr-”. He was slapped once again. “Only speak when you’re spoken to”. He nodded as his stomach began to cave in. His cock twitched each time she slapped him, making her moan. She leaned forward, capturing his earlobe between her teeth. He winced, his hands tangling in the sheets. He felt as though his entire body was blushing.

“You’re so sensitive there”

She teased him, kissing the skin and nibbling. His hips involuntarily snapped upward, making her whine. “You’re so desperate, baby,” she laughed,“it’s so cute”. He could feel her warmth running along his cock. He bit into his hand, trying to stop himself from cumming inside her. It worked, but she didn’t like him doing that. She grabbed his hands and kissed them.

“Don’t hurt yourself, put them right here”

She placed them on her boobs. He watched them bounce up and down, grabbing them gently. His rather large hands seemed small on her tits. He was extremely flushed. He took them off her and placed them on her hips. “Open your mouth”. He lay back more and did as he was told. She leaned forward, grabbing his jaw again as she spit into it and kissed him. He moaned when she did, his urges getting the best to him and thrusting upward. He hit her cervix every time, causing her to produce the sweetest and sluttiest of moans. Her walls tightened around him and now he was whining. “Are you gonna cum, honeybun?,” she asked.

“Y-Yes..”

“Where do you wanna cum?”

“I wanna cum...everywhere. I want it. I want it so bad. I wanna cum inside and on your tits, on your ass, y-your face..mouth. Please let me cum, mommy”

She motivated him, riding him harder. “Come on, Nagito,” she whispered,“Cum for mommy. Cum all the way inside her”. He lost his mind after that, groaning as he shot his load(s) inside her. He was still inside her as he tried catching his breath. She rubbed his chest, shushing him. “Good boy, you did so well,” she cooed,“Such a good boy.” He was covering his face, embarrassed and still hard. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?,” she asked. He shook his head, thinking,“Not rough enough”. He whined when she got off, revealing he was still erect. She noticed.

“You wanna go again, baby? Kids don’t leave school till 2:30. We have time for an extra fuck”

“C-Can I?”

“Yes, dummy”

She let Nagito choose how to fuck her. He wanted missionary, mostly because he craved intimacy and she did not disappoint. She kissed and praised him, telling him he was good. She held onto him the whole time and cuddled him afterwards. Nagito felt so special, he felt loved. “I can come over when I don’t have work,” she said,“Would you like that?”.

“I’d love that actually”

“You make me happy, Nagito. I could stay here and cuddle all day”

“I feel so lucky”

He yawned, looking at the clock. “Its 10,” he told her. She nuzzled his chest, humming. “Mmmm, let’s take a small nap,” she whispered,“Okay?”. “Okay”. He kissed the top of her head and held her to him, slowly joining her in slumber.

[reidyoulikeabook]

15, 17 and 26 all from fluff!!! <3333333333

you asked and you shall RECEIVE my sweet avery! of course you pick out the very best combination of prompts, i'd expect no less <3

Ship: GN! Reader x Spencer Reid

Word count: .9k

Warnings: Kissing, general goofiness and cheesiness.

Prompts: #15 "Wow, you're photogenic."

#17 "Quick, kiss me!"

#26 "My lip gloss is all over your lips.”

A/N: I haven’t posted in an AGE and I won’t lie when I say this might not be my best work, but I was feeling writing for once so I tried! I’m going through a pretty rough mental time at the moment and I’m finding it hard to do much, but I wrote this! It’s technically part of the A-Z series, but works as a stand-alone :)

You've both worked up quite the sweat from your, admittedly too enthusiastic, dancing by the time you tumble your way into the photobooth. You'd been meaning to make a stop there all night but between the children (Aaron could probably wallpaper his entire house with pictures of the inside of Jack's nose, pressed right up against the camera), and the far reaching branches of Derek's family tree that yanked him outside for new mantelpiece photos at every opportunity, you just hadn't had the chance. Until now.

Giggling, you pull back the curtain. Almost tripping inside the booth, your interlocked fingers meaning Spencer is yanked in right along with you. He's laughing too. His nose scrunched, glasses comically far up, his face tinged pink with laughter, his hair damp and especially springy against his forehead.

"Sit down!" You chastise.

"Hold on!" He protests, trying to get himself comfortable in his seat. He pulls an odd face, one that involves contorting his mouth into a shape you’re not sure you’ve seen outside of the dentist office, flaring his nostrils, and frowning simultaneously.

And then, amongst the hububub, the camera flashes. Followed by the instant sound of whirring. Spencer frowns, reaching forward, but you lurch. Grabbing the picture and bringing it up to your line of sight, grinning, “Wow, you’re photogenic.”

“Give me that!”

You shake your head, tucking your arm behind your back, “Nope.”

“Please?” He pleads, pushing out his lower lip.

“Nope.”

He braces himself, his legs tensing under you.

He’s up to something.

You bring your right hand back to his chest, steadying yourself, “It’s going to go off again.”

He shakes his head, “The wait between the flashes is actually longer than you’d think because it accommodates for people leaving and getting readjusted in the booth, if it went off that fast there’d be a whole load of film that was just wasted-”

Flash.

His face tenses, startled, and you burst into another peel of laughter. Your thumb tracing along the line of his jaw, “Is that so Doctor Reid?”

“It’s usually longer!” He defends, his voice pitching upwards, “Morgan must have gotten a subpar photobooth.”

“Or maybe you just don’t know about photobooths.”

His eyebrows raise for a brief second, then dip back down to their original position, a conciliatory smile on his face, “I don’t actually know about photobooths. I was just making it up so you’d kiss me.”

“You want a picture of us kissing?”

His teeth worry at his bottom lip, and he takes pause. You take the opportunity to smile brightly at him, your eyes widening as you take in the entirety of his much too adorable, much too appealing, face staring up at you. A mixture of wonder and amazement in his eyes that almost makes you dizzy.

Spencer Reid, wanting photobooth kissing pictures.

“Well then quick, Spencer, you’d better kiss me.”

His face lights up: a smile reserved only for you, instinctively tilting his head up to be closer to you. You squeeze his chin affectionately between your thumb and forefinger, closing the gap between you that was filled only with warm air and quiet desire. His hand comes to the small of your back, on instinct, pressing you against him as his lips brush against yours. Lightly, at first, just testing out the water. Gentle and affectionate, and then harder. Chasing his mouth as he slumps into the seat, pulling you further into his lap.

Flash.

It knocks you off kilter, surprising you. A laugh reverberates through his throat and into your mouth, eliciting a very similar reaction from you. His face is scrunched up with joy as he pulls back, laughing, “That’s kind of a mood killer.”

“There’s a reason you don’t put strobe lights in the bedroom.”

“I think I might have to concede you know more about photobooths than me,” He smiles, his arms looped around your waist, his head pressing into your neck.

“My lip gloss is all over your lips,” You chastise half-heartedly, “I’ll be covered in it.”

He presses a series of delicate kisses along the line of your collarbone, coming to the hollow of your throat. You feel him speak as much as you hear it, “I think it looks good anywhere on you.”

“You would,” You tease, running your fingers lightly through his hair, which has been carefully gelled for the occasion.

He sighs, contentedly. It’s nice, really, to have the time to yourself. Penelope and Derek’s special day has been in the making for a month, and as much as it’s a glorious occasion the lead-up (including the 6am start to the day) has been a whirlwind. It’s nice to take pause.

It’s especially nice to imagine Spencer at your own wedding. He looks gorgeous in a proper suit, even letting you pick out a tie that matched your outfit.

Wonder if he’ll look this beautiful at our wedding.

Don’t be silly. Even more so.

You smile to yourself, tightening your arms around him.

Flash.

Despite the work that went into acquiring the kiss, the photo that ends up on your mantelpiece in a frame is the last one. The biggest smile on Spencer’s face, accompanied by a look of pure peace. His arms securing you to him, and your own looped around to hold him close. The look in your eyes, the softness of the features of your face, as you look at him in that picture? It makes him feel more sure of your love for him than anything in this world. And maybe, just maybe, he gets Penelope to make a copy for his wallet.

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If you’re on the old tagslist it would be great if you could fill out THIS google form to be added to the new tagslist! I’m trying to create SOME semblance of order <3

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[laurasstufff1]

Falling all in you ft. Pierre Gasly

Wrote this request!! It was kinda hard to write, I just decided to follow the story that the songs tells and write some of the lyrics :) (btw, go listen that song, I’m obsessed with it now)

Ibiza was always a good place to spend summer holidays. Going there with friends to enjoy the beach, the sun and the parties was already a tradition for YN, Pierre,  Charles, Charlotte, Sean and Tom, who were best friends for as long as they could remember. The nights always ended and the morning started all the same for YN and Pierre.

Everyone knew they had feelings for each other, it wasn’t even necessary to know them. Just the looks they shared, the soft touches and shy smiles when they saw each other were more than enough. Both of them did nothing about it, apart on agreeing on just having sex. It was a huge mistake, because it only intensified their feeling towards each other, every night they spent together they feel more in love, but it was too late now.

That night, when YN danced with the cute boy she just met, letting his hands wander through her body while Pierre just sat and watched, something change. “YN, we need to go, I don’t feel well” he said approaching the couple who were still dancing. “What?? Why?? Do you wanna go home??” That answer fast answer and worried look in YN’s face was more than enough to Pierre. He was in love with her. So madly in love. “Come on” YN said grabbing her arm without even saying goodbye to his new friend. “I won’t tell the others, they seem to be having a good time” she said walking out of the local. “It looked like you had fun too” he annoyingly said “Oh come on, it was just some teasing, Pierre. Are you jealous??” She laughed “You now I have a deal with you, and I’m not willing to break it” she added already entering the in the taxi to go back to their rented villa, the same villa they rented every year to spend the summer there and where everything began.

They woke up together once again. Not even the alcohol in their veins made both of them confess their obvious feeling towards each other. The hungover did. 

The orange light from sunrise woke him up. “YN, woke up” he softly said caressing her face, that was pressed to his naked chest “come on, open your eyes, our friends are going to realise what we did” he chuckled. “Is it that bad if they knew?” She barely pronounced with her sleepy voice while she stood from the bed. “If they knew we had sex?” “Yes” she answered while she got dressed under his staring look. It was only sex,  but it felt like more to her. And to him too. “They would tease about it. Besides, some of them already suspect it.” Pierre said laying back on his bed as he covered his naked body with the light blanket, mumbling something YN couldn’t understand “Does your head hurt?” She asked while he just nodded. “I’ll bring you some pain killers” she said before leaving the room, leaving Pierre alone with his thoughts.

Watching her walk in again with a glass of water and the painkillers, a smile appeared on his face.“Thanks YN. Are they awake yet?” He asked sitting on the bed so he could take the pill. “No, they’re still sleeping. They came at like 6am from the party” “Were you awake?” He asked “Yes. I was in the kitchen, drinking water to dissolve the alcohol” she laughed sitting next to him. “Was it the alcohol?” He asked “What?” She asked concerned “Was it the alcohol what made you…you know, have sex with me?” He asked making her cheeks blush. It was now or never. “It was just a coincidence, Pierre. I don't need alcohol to feel something for you” she said already getting up and taking his empty glass. “YN wait” he said holding her hand  to not let her go “Be mine” he just said staring at her “I think you’re still drunk Pierre” she chuckled “I’m not. I wasn’t even that drunk tonight neither the other nights we went to bed together. God, It was only meant to be a one time thing, YN, but still here we are”. “Are we really changing our minds here?” She asked as he just nodded energetically, making her laugh while she sat on the bed next to him.

“I can’t really see one thing wrong between the both of us, really. But, you know, I’ve been hurt before, it’s going to be hard for me” she said remembering the times with his ex boyfriend. “Besides, what if we mess our relationship up”

“I’m willing to risk it YN. You know, I’ve been alone for quite a while. I thought I knew it all, I thought I just wanted to be single and enjoy life like that, having sex with my best friend whenever I felt like it, without any sort of commitment. But was wrong, God, I was so wrong. I’ll wait for you to heal, but let me help you along the way” he said staring into her eyes. “I just realised when I saw you last night dancing with that stupid guy-“ 

“He was nice” YN interrupted him laughing breaking the serious moment “besides, we’re just friends and I can talk and dance with whoever I want to”.

“We were friends. Now I want something more. What do you say? Should we give it a try? It’s not like anything is going to change, we already had sex and we spend all the time together, and let me tell you sex with you is great, so”

“PIERRE!!” She screamed laughing and hitting his face with the pillow as he laughed “Okay” she said trying to hide her excitement biting his lips, making his smile even wider while he pulled her back to bed over his still naked body.

“Breakfast is ready!!! Well, lunch!!” YN shouted form he kitchen. Charlotte was the first one to come into the kitchen, hugging her good friend good morning and staring at her.

“What?” YN asked looking at her friend while she set the table.

“What happened yesterday night?” She asked resting his head on her hand, waiting for the details.

“What always happened. We had sex”

“I KNEW IT!! But it has been happening for a while already, right?” Charlotte asked to her friend, who just nodded “okay, so what happened this morning??? Something changed, you’re bringing out a different kind of you” Charlotte asked again making YN giggle “come on, I now something is up with you. I don’t know if Pierre has something to do with it, but-“

“We decided to start dating. Like officially. He’s my boyfriend now, I’m her girlfriend” YN said with a smile that almost broke her face into two, giggling when Charlotte  ran to her and hugged her tight, whispering a soft ‘finally’ between laughs too. 

“What’s happening??” Charles asked entering the room, followed by a very sleepy Sean and Tom and a smiley Pierre.

“YN and Pierre happened” Charlotte cheerful said.

“Did you two enjoy the house to yourselves yesterday night???” Sean laughed. 

“Apart from that” Pierre said walking to YN and placing his arm around her waist to pull her closer to him “We are together. Like a couple” he sentenced, making everyone shout and whistle at the both of them. There really was no safety net that’s underneath, they were falling all in.  

Fast forward a couple years, same house, different summer, same people except  YN. Pierre and her decided to give each other some time. Ignoring Charlotte’s  calls and persistence, YN decided not to go there this summer. Too many memories would invade her mind.

Pierre wasn’t doing good neither, but he tried. They both did. 

“Pierre doesn’t want to go out tonight” Charles said worryingly to Charlotte. They were already getting ready for another night out, but Pierre was still laying in his bed while Sean and Tom tried to made him come to his senses.

“I think I’ll stay with him tonight. See if I can help him” Charlotte said.

“You sure you don’t want to come? I can stay and you go”.

“don't worry, we still have time for more nights out” She pecking his cheeks before leaving the room to go where Pierre was. 

Knocking on the doors she didn’t hear any response but the sound of water running. Assuming he was taking a shower, she headed to the big living room and waited for him there.

“What are you doing here?!? You scared me!!” Pierre shouting laughing for once in a long time.

“Haven't watched that smile in a while” Charlotte said getting up from the couch “grab snacks and come here with me”

“Why didn’t you go?’” He asked concerned from the kitchen, where he grabbed some snacks to head back to where her good friend Charlotte was.

“I just wanted to check on you. See how you’re doing without YN”she said making him huffed.

“I don’t know Charlotte. I mean, I’m here. But I miss her-“

“She misses you too” Charlotte interrupted him.

“It’s just so hard. She felt for man who weren’t how they appeared. And now she just doesn’t trust me”

“She needs time. She’s been hurt before, and you knew it when you started dating her, even the you started having sex with her. But now that you left she thinks you’re just like the others. She needs patience. God Pierre, his ex cheated on her for a whole year, that’s hard to get over it”.

“Yeah I know! But what can I do? She doesn’t trust me, I can’t be in a relationship like this, Charlotte, it’s been two years and still anything hasn’t change”.

“She just needs time. But she needs time by your side”.

“She won’t let me be by her side”.

“Maybe you haven’t tried enough. Come on Pierre, she’s a Taurus, she’s really stubborn” she said making him laugh “for the good and for the bad” she added.

“I know…I just- I really want to be with her. But she’s just-“ Charlotte cut him off.

“Hurt. Still, after so many years, she’s still hurt. Just imagine how much pain she went through, Pierre. If you love her, you need patience with her”.

“Of course I still love her, I always will. But everything was so perfect when we started dating, and now it’s not”.

“She told me about it. Everything is more serious after a year dating her. And now if she gets hurt, it’ll be harder for her, don’t you ever think she stopped loving you”. 

“but I won’t hurt her” 

“I Well, tell her, not me, silly” she laughed, finally breaking the tension of the deep conversation that Charlotte really hoped it worked. 

Thank God it did work, and next summer they were back to the house, all together this time.

“I feel like we grew up in this place” Pierre talked in the late night with YN, who was laying on bed next to her. “So many goo and bad memories with you here” “Bad memories with me??” She asked not remembering one sad moment in that house. “I mean, not with you, but without you. That last summer when you weren’t here. It wasn’t fun” he said staring at her. “Oh, I know…thanks for having patience with me, Pierre” “Anytime” he said smiling back to her. “And to think that it was only meant to be for one night, baby. Still feels like I’m dreaming. Every time we’re like this” he laughed holding her hand and playing with the diamond ring he placed on her finger that same day after asking the question he never thought he asked. 

“Guess we can’t control what’s just not up to us”.

[unolvrs]

how do you manage to write and update consistently on top of all your academic works and personal/social life because i could never

i have an obsession over scheduling! it’s because i’m an xtnj capricorn sun & rising w/ aries moon. and my enneagram type is 3.

i have my google calendar organized and make alarms for myself: i wake up between 6am to 7:30 at most every morning whether it’s a school day or not (i’m a morning person but i get really mean in mornings but i like waking up early bc i feel like i’d end up missing out on things)

and when i mean alarm myself, i really do alarm myself bad. from eating and showering, etc. it’s my way of taking control of my life 💀 mommy issues yk my social life is pretty easy bc i’ve been going to the same school since i was 7 so i have it easy. i’m mostly friends with everybody bc of that.

but i manage all of that because of my obsessive scheduling. it’s not really healthy but it works for me 🧎🏻‍♀️ i don’t recommend it though. it can really stress me out sometimes. and i kind of got used to having a schedule? when i was a kid, my mom had a schedule for me growing up (ik kinda freaky): like i study all morning then once that’s done, i get to do whatever i want — && that stuck to me v much and my mindset became “if i finish all my requirements and homeworks, i can do whatever i want and don’t have to worry about it”!

i also suggest surrounding yourselves with productive people ^^ i have a friend who has a better work ethic than me. they do boxing, extra classes, applied sciences, and etc, and still gets higher grades than me. we usually compete with one another with grades and “who has the least homework” && ngl, if you surround yourselves with people like that, you get pressured to do well too. it’s just peer pressure but put to good use ... ish. mental stability isn’t safe though.

[deathnoting]

I have yet to comment on your Ao3 but, I’ve read almost everything in the Nights series in like a week. Idk what to say other than you’re a genius and I am in love with your writing style and idea. I recently watched dn for the first time (ya in 2022 wild) and could not find a fic that really engrossed me until I stumbled upon Nights on reddit😭 I swear I literally stayed up til 6am and could not stop. You are crazy talented and I’m saving my thoughts on the story itself to comment on Ao3 but damn I was just shocked at how you turned a story I already loved into a whole other thing that was so nuanced and creative and emotional and just like ticking every box that I didn’t even know I wanted to read. This is just a very aggressive appreciation ask, so thank u sm for sharing your talent and also writing a top 5 fav for me, I don’t think I’ll ever not b amazed💜 💜

omg hi!!!!! you're so sweet & you've made me really happy <3

i'm so happy for you for watching death note for the first time in 2022, that is such a choice, i'm proud of you. i'm glad you like my bizarro take on the universe bc tbh all i've ever done with death note fic is take the canon & be like "but personally i would really prefer if it was like this" and proceed to go off the deep end. i'm glad you're loving it because i loved writing it (and cannot seem to stop)

also when i first got into the fandom (in 2011? holy shit. i swear i have not been here the whole time, it's been a very on again off again relationship) i really had a hard time finding good, long canon-universe fic that you could really sink your teeth into and get obsessed with (using the characterizations + themes i was interested in, especially) so i guess i was just trying to fill that niche for others. if you are vibing with the nights-verse and all of its weird sex & unjustifiable ethics then kira bless. it's for you.