#I was visible some family so
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Today's anecdotal explanations of gender:
I wear heals sometimes (like big fuck you platform heels), and I very rarely use bandaids for that, unless I have like several days of intense walking. I just don't like, really care if my fucking feet bleed?
Today I fully blistered my palms tho! The first round of moving went to the washing machine (I'm off to the store, because I'm gonna fucking get it). And so I did end up slapping those blister bandaids on my hands.
And that's kinda where I really fall on the spectrum of masculinity to femininity. Just bleeding.
#queer shit#I've generally had a lot of thoughts about gender lately#I was visible some family so#if I end up posting the whole rant about androgynous expression this has been your warning lol#i usually don't really care about any of this#but nothing like excessive gendering by well meaning relatives to highlight pride month I guess
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Moment of peace
(Close up undercut)
#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat odile#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat#in stars and time bonnie#in stars and time isabeau#in stars and time mirabelle#in stars and time odile#in stars and time siffrin#siffrin in stars and time#siffrin isat#siffrin#odile#isabeau#mirabelle#bonnie#isat spoilers#feelings buddies#isafrin#<- I mean isa is definitely looking with heart eyes so lol#he is braiding their hair :)#I think his touch starved ass deserves some relaxation after everything ok#they all deserve family cuddle time 😤#also sorry odile that you’re barely visible oops#she is chilling with her familytale#moon’s art
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apropos of nothing - if you wanna draw Raz or the rest of the Aquatos with hereditary dark circles/hyperpigmentation, it can be useful to take a look at how it appears on real people! dark circles have a very distinctive pattern - they're almost always darkest on the lower eyelid, and follow the lower edge of the eye socket. depending on how strong the pigmentation is, they might form a whole half-circle beneath the eye, or they might only be visible in the inside corner!
couple of photo examples on various skin tones below the cut:
in some cases, the pigmentation extends to the upper eyelid (following the inside of the eye socket); but generally, dark circles are most visible on the lower eyelid! obviously, you can stylise it however you want, this isn't a PSA or a tutorial lol. but using photo ref is always helpful, especially when you're referencing how real traits look on real people!
#psychonauts#gus is the only aquato that i'd personally interpret as having 'canon' dark circles#that said i love the shared headcanon that some of the rest of the family have them#fsau raz does too! subtler than gus' but they're there#anyway the real inspiration for this post was going to visit my younger (half)-siblings yesterday#they've both inherited their mum's dark circles#and even at six and eight respectively it's very visible#& it got me thinking about how i often see it drawn. so here's a little observation on that
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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..
if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..
and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.
he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)
he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..
#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon#like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him#but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is#hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute#and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it#idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them#need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless#and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria#and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times#this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what#he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates#i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but#a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo#so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more#though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers#a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain#anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless#and i want to know who his friends would be#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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Not my delusional self shopping for earrings today which might fit my Rammstein-concert outfits. We have February and yet I'm already stressed out style-wise smh 💀🧐
#and not my mom (who went shopping with me) telling me 'oh yeah pick the bright red ones these are surely visible from stage!'#the delusions are delusioning across generations in this family#but i found some cute ones at least#at shopping distracts me from the constant panicky state I'm in so that's a plus#Rammstein
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Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf
More context will be in the tags, for those interested!
#hollow knight#little ghost#hk ghost#the knight#hk hornet#hornet#alright. as of writing these tags it's been a week since the original dream so! let's see what i remember dgsgsgf#i was playing a game. which was a sequel to hollow knight ((Not silksong though))#there was some new sort of divine infection in hallownest and hornet had asked ghost to investigate it. they ended the last one after all!#the red glowy spike gate thingy is what you jumped into to enter the 'infected' areas#though it actually led directly to a hub world type of place. which was kinda like an expanded base for the grimm troupe?#more like an entire lair instead of a camp. also some greek gods were there for some reason lmao. they had their own special rooms too#so sidenote but- new headcanon that there are grimm troupe members named ares athena artemis &... venus lmao. not aphrodite for some reason#also monomon was there?? i think??? except she was cooking????? she had a sidequest to deliver something to someone though i dunno hdgfhdgh#i remember going back to the grimm troupe lair a couple times throughout my 'playthrough'#anyway. the 'infection' this time around was more of a glitchy physical corruption thing? rather than a mind corruption.#though there were still aggressive enemies to fight. but i remember getting a map from cornifer early on and he was. probably infected#i think part of his body was covered in electricity or something? so he wasn't fully visible? but he was still acting normally#there was also a moth who was the seer but then later wasn't the seer (but was still the same moth) dghgdhf. i delivered stuff to her#that glowing white wall thing in the drawing was like a one-way gate. you could only cross it from the other side and ghost came from there#i guess things looped back up somehow i dunno ghdgfhgf#anyway. ghost's red eyes. those are significant! those happened while i was walking through a corridor. it had pools of shallow water#(shallow enough to just walk through) and also creatures that were lightseeds but red.the implication was that they were full of Blood lmao#and as i went along killing them--as one does--as i walked through the hall. they started turning the water red too#there was also narration about this as it was happening ashdgsf. specifically the narrator said the water turned red before it actually did#ghost's eyes slowly turned red too. but aside from that they were fine! since. they're the player character and the player is perfectly fin#BUT. when they encountered hornet again. she thought they were infected. and that she lost the only family she had left </3#she didn't attack though. instead she just jumped into the red spike gate without a word. decided to try to fix everything herself#but eventually you'd encounter her again down below and she'd fight you. didn't actually get to that in the dream though#aand i'm out of tags </3 i wanted to talk about what i'd do to make this make more sense as an au or something now that i'm awake but. :c
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inyuose siblings yay! (i only got a few things abt them done)
#crow's scribbles#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#shinobu inuyose#yanoshiro inuyose#hifuno inuyose#you can see some of my headcanons for what shinobu looks like lol--#im trying to learn how to do different face shapes so i hope it's a bit.... like. visible.#if not then that means im gonna try harder!!!!! anyway sibling lore time yayyy!!#shinobu's sister goes to nagi's university instead of seiho bc.... it'd be funny. she's walking and then she hears “HEYY!!!!” and it's nagi#she works at the music store that the girls check regularly in the mall. shinobu asked for a family discount once but stopped bc her sister#upped the price. her brother i honestly had no idea what he could do as a job so i thought he'd be an office worker bc. he gave the vibes.#the three of them are surprisingly a bit popular bc of their looks but they dont know it. theyre kinda dense w it.#when the three of them are together it's just. hell. for the brother. bc shinobu and her sister bully him even tho he's older.#the way he stops the teasing is by saying “and i thought i was gonna give you guys free food” or something like that then they stop.#he follows up on the promise ofc dw#im probably not gonna design ALL the d4 siblings bc idk what some of them are like bc i dont have info so im only doing the ones i know of.#next up is probably maika....... yeahhhh.#I JUST REALIZED HER BROTHER LOOKS LIKE FUTABA FROM REVSTAR HELP--
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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the amount of surprised pika “wait people actually shave their arms?” comments on posts about body hair are so funny like I unironically am so happy for you that you weren’t laughed at by a classmate for having hairy arms “like a man” in like 4th grade this is why I wish body hair conversations would stop centering around armpit hair
#okay that’s the tldr but the way I actually remember it is that the classmate (a boy) pointed out my arm hair and ask why so hairy#and I genuinely was so confused I was just like idk??? and then later at home that day I asked my mom about it and she was like#It’s bc your dads side of the family is hairy so then I later talked to that guy again like ‘I take after my dad’ or whatever#And /then/ is when he laughed and was like ‘but you’re a girl’ about it#Granted I’m non-binary but like I didn’t know that in elementary#Plus I didn’t stop shaving until around mid 2010s and was still self conscious about it for years#Like I remember feeling embarrassed during college (2018ish) if I had to use the rest room and someone else was in there when I would roll#My sleeves up to wash my hands#Anyways I eventually stopped caring about it sometime within the last year or 2 but see how long that took? It really shouldnt#Like some of us just genetically have more darker thicker visible body hair than others and we shouldn’t be shamed for it#One thing at a time though because even I’m still working through leg hair shame#I don’t shave them anymore but I also haven’t worn shorts outside of my bedroom in years#I’ll literally switch into shorts if it’s too hot right before bed and switch back into pants before stepping out of my room in the morning#I’ve been feeling cute the past few days and it’s starting to warm up again plus also had a convo w mom recently so#I might change that soon but only within the house still bc baby steps <3#Anyways I’m just rambling now so I should stop. Good night !!
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FINALLY! I got to learn more about Colours in isat. I've been thinking bout that so much and I finally found the other book needed for it. So colours only appear when something "breaks" huh...
#aria rants#isat spoilers#i was looking at the isat wiki and found out that there was an issue#couldn't find it tho... but i at least found the colours one! hmmmm when smth breaks. first time it appeared was when#the king and siffrin tried to say the country's name. and the 2nd time was when the world was getting destroyed#and the 3rd and last time was in loop's eye during the fight. for the 1st one it was cuz the wish was breaking.#for the 2nd one itd be.... is it also a wish breaking? the sky was dyed red with a visible crack out the balcony even before#siffrin lost control of their emotion and became Huge. a wish was possibly breaking then. considering siffrin's wish being#''fused'' with all of vaugarde in Some form. vaugarde was saved but siffrin's wish was Breaking. cuz during that point#siffrin barely had enough energy to use time craft to loop back and nothing else was addressed about the family members leaving#so in a way. siffrin's wish was breaking (and considering the power his wish had. itd be quite the effect if it broke)#but what about loop? what was breaking for their wish? and well it also isnt in a large scale as the Country and siff's wish#since the red only appeared on loop's eye. so its more of an ''internal'' thing. maybe... it was siffrin leaving?#so that could also be why loop disappeared at the end. cuz their wish broke in some way. wtv the wish was#tbf i havent checked the sad diary in act 5 yet so im not rlly sure who that diary belongs to but i rlly believe that its loop's
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i’ve been reading the persuaders book (volume 2) and i find it interesting as a character study that brett gets so defensive when someone asks if he’s okay or questions his wellbeing. like in ‘someone like me’ there’s the doctor in harley street and danny both who ask if he’s alright and multiple times he tenses up or gets feisty. he seems to find it hard to let his guard down and trust in others, plus this is the same guy that crashed a racing car at 130 miles an hour and didn’t feel a thing. it’s clear he’s more than slightly out of tune with his feelings, but it’s a lot more obvious when he’s with danny because he’s supposed to be joking with him. fob him off and not take anything to heart so when daniel gets serious it’s almost like brett doesn’t know what to do with himself and immediately shuts down and retreates inward not letting anyone see through his rich playboy facade.
#i know it’s a comedy so it’s hard to tell when some scenes are written to be serious or not but brett uses humour to cover up his feelings#when his family members are getting knocked off one by one instead of visible worry as to if he’s next it’s joke after joke#it’s a little annoying with shows from this era because you get some character development then it’s immediately overturned#because apparently men can’t show emotions and a comedy show can’t have a darker tone for a minute#the persuaders#danny wilde#brett sinclair#🪲
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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.
#luly talks#my dreams#I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird#bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred#i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia#it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in#pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap#i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts#it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and#forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best#uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like#in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way#very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING#you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it#to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman#(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That#this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and#shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought#looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie#something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever#uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect#high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed#a little.before napping#also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck#me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess 😭
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I am doing so good with my fic 🥰 *has 4 docs, 2 spreadsheets, 1 family tree, a couple rough drawings for physical appearances, and 0 sentences of the actual fic written*
#working on my togruta skywalkers au#which makes me develop a family tree that goes back a few generations and has extended family#and developing cultural traits for TSC and TSL (Tatooine Slave Culture and Language) which has overlaps with other slave cultures#and developing names and naming customs as well as a language#which has multiple dialects (which i won't get into much bc i haven't worked it out fully)#and a few diasporas as well#its fun but like...plot???? what is a plot???? what will the story ACTUALLY be about???? 🤷♀️#post rotj but like...i think i'll have oneshots as well for stuff that happened before the main story that are significant for the main fic#and im debating how vader felt about leia...a togruta girl who has familial coloring and markings who is the same age as his “neverborn” ki#lots to think about. bc while i don't want to change too much from canon (i want the story to take place in post canon ot)#i feel the need to change some stuff so it makes sense within a world where a togruta sith lord exists and so do 2 human/togruta hybrids#in very prominent and visible roles#so....yeah. lots to think about#anyway back to worldbuilding#star wars#fanfiction#star wars fanfiction#togruta skywalkers au#togruta anakin au#my fanfiction writing
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i was gonna draw out the divorceverse family tree but the sheer thought of another family tree involving captainsparklez shook me to my very core so y’all just get it in text instead.
tubbo is jordan and schlatt’s biological kid. he’s technically an amalgamation of a dragon-sheep hybrid, but schlatt’s genes seemingly won bc you Cannot tell he’s part dragon just by looking at him. schlatt gets him on weekends and every other wednesday. no one knows where the fuck crumb came from. it just kind of Appeared on jordan’s doorstep one day and he took it in. legally schlatt has no custody of her However she’s imprinted on him like a baby duck so wherever tubbo goes she goes. hope this helps <3
#icarus speaks#divorceverse#i love adding hope this helps <3 when no one asked#some additional notes:#jordan Would complain about schlatt being a terrible role model to the two#(as he very much is)#however. he let tubbo mess with nuclear power when the kid was like 5-6. so he can’t say much#crumb joined the family when tubbo was 4 and she was 2#they’re a shapeshifter and Prefer to stay as catlike as possible. but will take on more humanoid forms if needed#tubbo’s only visible dragon traits are his sharper teeth and nails#he does have some scales but they’re largely on his back/upper arms so they tend to be covered up#there’s a bit more#largely mianite related stuff on jordan’s side with ianite and capsize but. too much text#i’ve typed too much today orz i hate finals
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guess who's going to PRIDE bitches
#rox rumblings#me things#edited to add my thoughts:#im super excited! im so hsppy i live in a big big city rn#they have PRIDE they have a MUSIC FESTIVAL GOING ON they have DRAG SHOWS im so fuckin excited#my family told me they highly doubt anything will happen and part of me wants to knock his teeth out for saying that but. yk.#that's how family is sometimes... still leagues better than the sperm donor#also my brother graduated and i got to watch from a livestream <3<3<3#i'm having such a good run of luck after all this bad shit i'm running on a high a little#i'm not MANIC but. it's nice. i feel free.#i'm gonna pick out something cute. maybe do some face painting. do my makeup a lil... spray on sunscreen and bug repellant#pack a hefty flashlight and my pepper spray. pack some protein bars probably.... i don't eat enough protein so#physical activity gets me lightheaded and shaky very easily#i plan on linking up with someone's mom or smth. someone i don't know but in a group yk. since i'm arriving alone#. oh fuck i could get someone's number . .#OH FUCK I COULD GET SOMEONE'S NUMBER..... SHIT......... GOD...#i am a gay disaster that realization shouldn't have hit me as hard as it did.#but the thought of someone- someone i'm actually INTERESTED in- who looks like ME and is like ME flirting with me irl- bowls me over#looks like me as in. yk. visibly lgbtq yk? at least there...#i can pass fine and i have petite white woman privledges but. that's aside from the point#i am having various other thoughts but it's late at night i don't want to get too worked up nd then not be able to sleep!!#it's on the 17th in the afternoon about a 15 minute drive away <3#i'm gonna have to pack SO much water and food..........
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