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bejeweledblondie · 1 year ago

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The Great War

Alex Keller x F! Reader

Summary: Alex gets caught red handed with Farrah while on FaceTime with Y/N & has to make it up to her when he returns

Warnings: angst, cheating, I saw the Eras Tour movie last night & I got inspo from the Midnights set

Your stomach was in knots, Alex had never usually missed your scheduled FaceTime call, but when he did he always had a good excuse. The risk of calling was sometimes a matter of exposing his location to the enemy. You wanted Alex to come home safely. But this time he had no valid excuse, & didn’t have any reasoning as to why he didn’t call. So here you say on FaceTime in silence with him as you ate your now cold dinner. Trying to get an answer out of him was like pulling teeth. He only gave one worded answers with no emotion.

“Are you okay babe?” You asked with concerned tone putting down your fork. His job was beyond stressful & you could tell something was weighing on his mind. You chalked it up to him being stressed out from work, attempting to calm your anxieties.

“Just tired.” He replied shrugging his shoulders. A knock at his door drew his attention & he suddenly perked up. Confusion ran through your veins as you watched him suddenly not be “tired” anymore. “My love, Price is here to talk. I love you & I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He said.

“I love you too. Goodnight handsome tell Price I say hello!” You replied blowing him a kiss. You got up from your seat to put your plate in the sink thinking Alex ended the call. That was up until you were in your kitchen & heard soft moaning coming from your desk. Immediately your heart started to pound, & a pit of anxiousness started to form in your stomach. You slowly walked into your living room & sat down at your desk. As soon as your eyes were on the screen you had to cover your mouth from admitting a loud sob. Alex was on top of another woman, kissing her. You knew exactly who she was. The girl he told you not to worry about, the girl who occupied your time with him, Farrah. You removed your hand & wiped the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“Alex?!” You sobbed out. He froze while Farrah turned to see the phone on his desk propped up still on FaceTime. “How could you do this to me?!” You screamed out of anger & feeling of betrayal.

“Sweetheart I-“ He was rushing to his phone to start some ridiculous excuse for his actions. You immediately turned off the call & let out a painful wail. Your whole body shook as you crumpled to the floor. A part of you was almost thankful you hadn’t officially fully moved in with him. You were due to move in next week when he returned. Your body felt rigid & frozen as you sat on the floor staring at the wall in front of you.

The constant vibration of your phone going off started to blend in with the background noise of your air conditioner. Alex knew your heart was glass, you told him how fragile you were from past relationships & he shattered it into a million pieces. He was just like the rest of them. It stung like a thousand wasps stinging you over & over again. The conversations of him reassuring you that there was nothing going on with him & Farrah replayed in your head like a movie stuck on replay. You wanted to slap some sense into your past self & tell yourself to trust your gut.

You decided to take the next days off from work, & notified Price to tell Alex to cut contact. Time & space were needed for you to heal. But even with all of that you felt like you were in the shell of your former self. You were dragging your feet everywhere, & everything reminded you of Alex. The ghosts of his presence haunted you everyday. Dark bags started to form under your eyes & your hair was starting to become dull. No amount of product or even sleep could improve your health.

After a few weeks you slowly started to function somewhat normally. You took up a new hobby, painting & were able to start your healing process. It helped you get out of your apartment but still be able to be alone. So here you sat, in the local park painting. Keeping to yourself & living in your own bubble. Soon a dark shadow appeared overhead, blocking your natural lighting. Groaning to yourself you looked up to see the familiar pair of beat up Vans. You didn’t even bother to look fully up.

“What do you want?” You grumbled angrily at his presence. The audacity of this man astonished you.

“I want to talk.” He replied softly. He knew he royally fucked up. As soon as he looked up at the phone to see her face on the opposite end heartbroken. Instant regret hit him like a freight train. What was even more difficult & added more stress was the lack of trust he had now developed with his team. After you had texted Price asking for him to speak to Alex & word got out at what he had done. Trust was completely broken, because if you could cheat on your beloved how could you be trusted in a life & death situation.

“I don’t.” You replied bluntly, starting to put your art supplies as the park was now ruined. You got up on your feet & went to go leave. He hand grabbed your wrist preventing you from walking away. “Let go of me.” You commanded trying to wiggle away.

“Please Y/N.” He begged. You looked into his eyes, they were as equally as sad looking as yours. When he grabbed your wrist you felt the same electric touch as you did the first night you met. The angel & devil that sat on your shoulders were in a full out war trying to figure out to give him a chance to redeem himself. “Just give me ten minutes.”

“Fine.” You replied. The both of you chose a small bench that overlooked the pond. For a moment the two of you sat in silence. Then you turned to look at him. “You really hurt me Alex.” You softly said trying to prevent tears from spilling. “And to think now naive I was. I wanted to marry you.” He just stared back at you speechless.

“I know I hurt you.” He replied. “It by far has to be the most regrettable thing I’ve ever done in my life. Knowing I destroyed you-“ you cut him off.

“You’re only sad because you got caught.” You snapped. “If you truly cared about me & loved me you wouldn’t have kissed her.” Now you were full on sobbing. “Just please be honest with me.”

“That was the first time I kissed her.” Alex said. “I swear on my life.” He said in a serious tone. “We had a strictly professional relationship, I had empathy for her situation & it snowballed form there. She kissed me first & my fucking stupid self continued it.” You just sat there staring out at the pond trying to soak in Alex’s words. “I was a selfish prick & thought about myself over you.”

“Why did you try to find me Alex?” You whispered out.

“I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t get to see you one last time.” Alex said. “I wouldn’t know how to be able to move on if I didn’t get to say what I had to.” The two of you sat in silence again as the sounds of nature filled the air. You both watched an old couple in a small row boat go past clearly on a date. It reminded you of the time you & Alex went kayaking. His canoe tipped over & while you were trying to help him you fell on top of him.

“That reminds me of when we went kayaking.” You softly said. “I still think you yanked me out of the canoe.”

“Hey!” Alex said defensively. “I did not you just fell out.” You had to stifle a laugh thinking about it. There was still of piece of you where all you wanted to was wrap your arms around him. You missed him, beyond words. He was your whole world.

“Alex.” You started & looked at him. He turned to you & placed a hand on your cheek. You leaned tenderly into his touch that you missed so dearly. “I miss you.” You whispered tears now falling again. He placed another hand on your waist & pulled you in for a deep kiss. Once you unlocked lips your foreheads rested against each other.

“I’m right here my love.” He whispered. You two survived the Great War.

#call of duty #cod imagines #cod masterlist #captain john price #captain price #captain john price imagine #alex keller x you #alex keller x reader #alex keller #alex cod #cod imagine #cod mwf2 #cod x female reader

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aph-america · 9 days ago

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Fixing You And I - Chapter 14

Rating: Mature Summary: Marriage is never supposed to be an easy-going experience. While it will always have its ups and downs, married couple Alfred and Ivan are towards their breaking point. Toxic fights, jealously, and almost impenetrable emotional walls, there's no doubt that something has to change. With threats of divorce in the air, the pair seek help to save a relationship that they desperately don't want to end. However, working on themselves proves to be easier said than done, as old wounds and traumas make it challenging for them both to evolve. Ivan's past unhealthy relationships and scarring childhood clashes with Alfred's paranoia and controlling behavior due to the tragic death of his past wife. The question remains: will they learn to love each other healthily and get past their problems or will their differences end them up in a courtroom? "When marriage is difficult, focus on the person you're fighting for, not the person you're fighting with."

Read Here or on Ao3!

‘ur a stupid ugly whore….’

Ivan blinked as he looked through the email he had received a few minutes ago. It came from a random email address, with a domain he’s never recalled. Squinting, he hit delete, sending it to the trash of his gmail account.

“Huh. Well, that was weird…” Ivan said to himself, shrugging it off as he continued his work. Busy with a project, he couldn’t spend time focusing on random emails. However, whoever emailed him had an agenda of not letting Ivan forget. A couple minutes later, Ivan received two more.

‘ur fat and ur husband HATes you. hes probably cheating on u with some1 hotter’

‘hes gunna leave u 4 some1 skinner.’

By the second email, Ivan begins to snicker. The typos, lack of grammar, and ridiculousness of the comments couldn’t be taken in vain. Beyond silly, he pondered if he’s being pranked by someone at work. It is on his work email, after all.

“This is something Will would probably do…” Ivan whispered to himself. The theory of it being his coworker with a sick sense of humor disappeared when he read the third, along with his smirk.

‘does ur husband know when u first camee to america you let an old guyy cum inside u so u wouldnt be homelss… does he knw ur broken from what happened when u were a boy.’

There’s a sting in his chest, one that caused him to inhale a shaken breath. Hands tensing up, he glanced down at the keyboard. While the email isn’t fully correct, there’s a sliver of truth to hint to him. Whoever wrote this email had information on their hands that Ivan tried everyday to forget.

Taking a deep breath to calm his frightened nerves, a trembling hand went to block the email. Then to quickly delete all the emails. No trace of such awfulness in his mailbox, he closed his eyes. Breathe in, breathe out. 'You’re at work. You don’t have time to freak out.’ He lectured himself. 'Let’s get these done, so we can go home, and go to bed…' He told himself. There was gossip that the higher ups wanted to give him a promotion. He couldn’t be a senior engineer, crying at his desk. Nor could he waste his time thinking about the past, what ifs, and the thought of telling Alfred any of them.

It took some time, but Ivan was able to find distractions throughout the day. The stress of being assigned to a major project supplied another source of anxiety. One that Ivan could cope with. Vibration diagnostics for their new aircraft kept him busy. He even skipped lunch that day. Once home is where the sinking feeling returned, a frown plastered on his face as he prepared dinner. His husband is watching TV in the living room, giving him an escape from faking a smile. He did not need Alfred prying. He even decided to cook his husband a favorite meal to keep him pleased. Barbecue wings, mashed potatoes, with corn on the cob. He had the inkling that he'd heard ‘I’m tired’ once Alfred ate it. Not that he minded.

The smell of barbecue sauce baking in the oven lured said husband into the kitchen. Hungry and clingy, he leaned against the kitchen counter. “That smells sooooo good, baby. I can’t wait to eat it!” He praised, a boyish grin on his face. He eyed the corn being cooked in a pan filled with butter and milk.

“Mm. Thank you.” Ivan replied, offering a weak smile from the praise. Said smile went back to a frown, which Ivan didn’t mean to do in Alfred’s presence. His husband of course caught the small expression. Alfred is quite good at reading a room or person; when he cares of course. He had a selective attention to detail. When he could care less is when all context clues went over his head.

“... You alright? You’ve seemed down since you got home from work.” He asked in a concerned voice.

‘Fuck’ Ivan cursed at himself. “I am fine, only stressed out from work. New project.” he vaguely explained. He didn’t feel like voicing the complications of the assignment to Alfred.

“Oh…” Alfred said, his fingers tapping against the countertop. He didn’t hide his expression; which was worrying. “... I didn’t do anything, did I…?” He couldn’t help but to ask. Alfred had a way of ticking off Ivan without effort. He’d learn over the years to address it up front and apologize for whatever wrong doings Ivan perceived. Most of the time, that is.

Ivan shook his head, waving his hand in disagreement. “No, no, you did not do anything, I promise.” Truthful, he gave a genuine smile. “You cheered me up if anything.” His husband’s kind praises did aid his hurt heart. One that had a bandaid over it, with the wound ready to burst at the right opportunity

“Okay…” He walked up behind Ivan, hugging him from behind and placing his chin on his shoulder. “Let me know if you need anything. I love you. You’re my world.” This isn't an exaggeration for him; Alfred is clingy. The extrovert could spend every waking moment with Ivan and not feel exhausted. The only moments he’d desire to escape are during arguments. Other than drama, he had no reason to avoid the love of his life.

Alfred gave him a gentle squeeze, holding on while he swayed Ivan. He took in the loving embrace, it filled up his heart. Too much, in fact. It brought tears to his eyes. Ivan tried to fight them, but they dropped down his pink cheeks as he sniffled. He loved Alfred, and at times felt as if he didn’t deserve him. Those thoughts echoing louder today with where his memories went.

Pink lips trembled, Ivan’s hands going over his husband’s for a squeeze. ‘He’s so warm. Always.’

It didn’t take long for Alfred to hear sniffles. Stepping to the side, he kept his grip on his waist but now facing. His eyebrows lowered and pulled closer together. “Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying!?” He pleaded to know what had drawn his husband into tears.

Ivan wiped his face, his hands snatching away any tears that fell on his cheeks. “Nothing is wrong. You are just so kind… I… I wonder if I deserve it or not…” The Russian could speak of half truths. Something was wrong, but Alfred wasn't it. His sweetness did add in the overwhelming emotions he had. A partner who could be so kind, and at a drop of a hat do any deed needed to put a smile on his face. Ivan rarely found that trait in people, which is why his biggest fear is losing Alfred. Even with all his flaws.

He without a doubt could say that no one loved him like Alfred could. The passion, yet so gentle with his heart.

“Of course you deserve it! You’re amazing… Please don’t cry, bunny…” Alfred using his pet name made Ivan’s lips twitch, he adored those words. He cupped his husband’s face, leaning down to place a kiss on his full lips. “I love you, puppy.”

Alfred used the opportunity to steal another kiss, his hands slipping under Ivan’s shirt to rub his back. “I love you too…” He responded, his voice offering a playful tone to make Ivan grin again. Desiring to cheer him up, he let go of Ivan to lean against the counter again. Crossing his arms, he eyed Ivan’s cooking, then plastering a proud grin on his face.

“So, I got some good news.”

“Oh, yes?”

“My dad’s deciding to retire early, aka, next year…” Alfred used his thumb to point to himself. “I’m about to get a fat fucking raise when I take over!” His tongue licked his canine, his eyes narrowing with a smirk. “How’s it feel to be married to a man who's gonna make half a million dollars a year?”

Ivan’s eyes went wide, shaking his head in shock. “I forget how much money your father makes.” Alfred’s father didn’t live an overly lavish lifestyle. While he’s clearly a wealthy man, and lived like one, he’s not reckless.

“Yup. And even when he retires, it ain’t gonna change. They’ll just live off the interest of my dad’s savings account and investments.” He explained. Ivan raised his brow, looking up as he attempted to do the math in his head. “Half a million from interest and investments alone…How much would that be then…” He said softly to himself. Alfred beat him to it.

“Hmm, after bonds, stocks, investments and straight up cash… I wanna say, ten million?”

Ivan’s eyes went wide, blinking in shock from the amount. “Jesus christ, what a net worth…” He shook his head again. He could never see the need to have that much money. Or what to even do with it.

“Heh, you remember my dad pressing us about signing the prenup. That’s why.” Alfred chuckled, raising a brow. The clause in theirs stated that any inheritance that came from Alfred’s parents were to stay with him in the case of a divorce. Ivan found it fair and didn’t contest; he didn’t marry Alfred for his money. “I forgot if I ever told you how much he had. Probably wouldn’t be smart for me to say it too early.”

“Well, you will always be okay…” Ivan responded, turning off the stove. His parents had nothing and died with nothing. The sadness of death was never aided with a paycheck.

“We’ll always be okay. I’ve been able to save up so much because of you!”

A truthful statement, as Ivan had been putting away nearly his entire paycheck since they got married. The purpose was for when they were ready to have children. As two men, whatever method they’d use would end up being expensive. On Alfred’s side of things, savings from his own paycheck was able to grow from being with someone like Ivan. He isn’t high maintenance. Alfred isn’t a fool; he’d never endanger his finances. Nevertheless, if he’d had a partner that could spend money like it is nothing, savings coming from his paycheck wouldn’t have grown as expeditiously. Ivan easily shot down the ideas of getting a third car or a boat.

“Speaking of savings, I haven’t checked the baby fund in a while.” Alfred said, referring to the account Ivan put his income in. “Got any idea how much is in it?”

Ivan hummed, recalling the last time he went over their accounts. “Hmm… Should be a little over two hundred thousand.”

Alfred gave a little fist pump, smirking. “Awesome! See, we are a great team. I make money, you keep it.” Ivan smiled but rolled his eyes. “Well, with the fact you want biological children- we will run through that fast. It will be completely gone if we have a second child.” Ivan didn’t mind the thought of only having two. He kind of only wanted one. He’d have to see how fatherhood looked like before he could process the idea of having another. Alfred however, had dreams of having a million little mini hims running around. Two is the minimum.

“Well, the reason I’m asking you about it is that, uh, I was… hoping you’d want to start the process…” Alfred glanced from the ground to his husband’s eyes, wearing a soft smile. Ivan blinked a few times, but then returned the kind smile. “Of course… You finally want a baby with me?”

“I’ve always wanted a baby with you. If you were a woman, I’d probably would’ve caved by now and we’d be having our second child.” Alfred joked, winning a playful shove from Ivan. He went behind his husband again, hugging Ivan from behind. He leaned into Alfred’s touches, feeling joyful that Alfred wanted to start the process with him. It meant they were doing well. That the thoughts of divorce were in the back of Alfred’s head.

“You talk to whoever you must talk to, and I will talk to who I need to talk to…” He said, referencing his sisters in regards to himself. They had offered to donate eggs in the past, and Ivan needed to check if that’s still on the table.

“We’re gunna have a baby~” Alfred sang.

#amerus #rusame #aph russia #aph america #hws america #hws russia #aph fanfiction

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jahayla-parker · 9 months ago

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Love Improves All : Freddy Carter x (OC) Reader

Descr: 5k wc fic where reader (named Amelia) is Freddy’s fiancée and finds herself stressing over their upcoming wedding while out on a date with him. So much so that she begins to suffer and anxiety attack. Which Freddy of course lovingly helps her through!

Warnings: anxiety, stress, crying, anxiety attack and anxiety attack symptoms, talks of marriage and weddings, I think that’s all!

Note: Reader is slightly OC/named Amelia, after the requester. But of course you can read it as you wish in your mind lol.

Lastly, this isn’t proofread as I’m still fighting a fever so I apologize if there’s anything weird 🤣

Amelia struggled to keep her stressed mind focused on the football game and not on her upcoming wedding. She was currently on a date with her fiancé Freddy. It was an evening football match between Freddy’s favorite team and their rivals. As such, it was a very engaging game! Or at least, it had been. However, just at the end brief halftime break after the first half of the game, Amelia felt her phone vibrate inside her pocket with what seemed to likely be a text message. Normally she wouldn’t check her phone while out on a date with Freddy. However, they were waiting to hear back from one of the vendors for their wedding. So, she did a quick check to see if it was related to that or not.

Amelia easily realized the text message she received was actually from a friend of hers, congratulating her on the impending nuptials. She smiled to herself, sparing a glance at her cherished fiancé. Damn he’s so gorgeous. She bit her lip as he caught her looking at him, a blush forming on her face when he smirked.

Freddy had craned his head over to press a loving kiss to his fiancée’s cheek. Even before catching her silently admiring him, he was having a great night. Although, in all transparency, he always did when it came to date nights with Amelia.

When Freddy turned back to resume watching the football game, Amelia smiled bashfully and slid her phone back into her pocket; having previewed the message so she could wait and respond later. Her friend had mentioned that Freddy was a lucky man to be marrying Amelia. But, Amelia was the lucky one. Freddy was her everything and he was truly the world’s sweetest man. And she was going to be walking down the aisle to marry him in hardly any time. In fact, the wedding suddenly felt very soon. Too soon. Not because she was hesitant to marry him. But because she was so stressed out about the things she still had left to do before their special day. There was a seemingly immeasurable amount of tasks that were due in the next few weeks. There was no way she was going to be able to get it all done.

Amelia clenched her jaw as she felt her stress and worries start to spiral. She needed to get this under control! She was on a date with her wonderful fiancé! She could not have an anxiety attack right now. Not that she wanted to have one at all. But, right now would be just the most unfortunate timing.

Amelia knew that attending football games with friends or loved ones was one of Freddy’s favorite activities to do. And he’d told her before that was especially true when it was done on a date with her. Freddy had explained to Amelia that her enjoying herself so thoroughly (while he too had a great night) while participating in one of his interests made him really happy. And she wasn’t going to ruin that tonight! He didn’t deserve for her to have an anxiety attack right now. She could get herself under control. She’d address the insurmountable stressors of their upcoming wedding later. Even if that made the stress worse.

Amelia was therefore sitting beside Freddy on the bleachers as she desperately pleaded with her mind to let her focus on their date. Only, that proved to guide her thoughts right back to the wedding. Thinking about their date meant thinking about Freddy and her love for him. Thinking about being in love with Freddy meant thinking about their wedding. And thinking about their wedding meant thinking about her long list of worries over not being prepared.

Amelia’s muscles seized up briefly with tension. She needed to change tactics. And quickly. That was when she elected to try and focus solely on the football game. However, watching the players kick the ball around the field wasn’t enough stimulation to keep her focus. Instead, her racing thoughts about the wedding tasks continued to echo and spin around inside her unfocused mind. Ironically, the simple fact that she couldn’t focus on the football game nor be in the present moment during their date only made her anxiety worse and therefore fueled even more of her attention to go towards her racing thoughts and less towards the things she should be focusing on. It was a vicious and apparently inexplicable cycle.

At this point, Amelia could sense how much her anxiety had grown. She knew it was too late to prevent an attack; it was already here. Now all she could do was attempt to hide the attack from Freddy. He deserved to be able to continue enjoying his night and not have to try and fix her. The problem is, Freddy is so attentive! While that’s not usually a bad thing, right now it felt like it. His loving attentiveness and protectiveness towards her would surely work against her attempts to hide the symptoms of her ongoing anxiety attack. Yet again, this new realization and associated guilt only helped grow her anxiety.

Amelia’s heart was thudding forcefully in her chest. Her head was so woozy she swore her brain was bouncing around loosely inside her skull. She could far too easily tell how high her heart rate was; she could feel it radiating through every pulse point in nerve-wracking throbs.

Amelia didn’t notice at first when her symptoms became visible. However, after a few seconds, she cursed herself upon realizing she’d unconsciously and uncontrollably began bouncing her leg. Fortunately, it was the leg furthest away from Freddy. This meant he’d be less likely to notice as opposed to if it had been her left leg that was immediately beside him.

Amelia couldn’t resist the urge to continue anxiously bouncing her right leg. The anxious energy surging inside of her demanded an outlet. Her right calf muscle already ached from the strain in it thanks to the body tension that came with her anxiety attack. Yet, she still couldn’t force the tight muscles to stop her from leg bouncing against the edge of the metallic bleachers.

Amelia licked her lips as the temperature appeared to rise and her mouth began to feel dry and cottony. She resisted the temptation to whimper in frustration with herself by tightening her jaw even more than it already had on its own. The skin of her chin was now wrinkled and pulled in taught against the bone underneath. As it did each time she suffered an anxiety attack, her head uncontrollably jerked lightly to the left at a slanted angle as she felt a cold rush surge through her body. God she hated that feeling. And that symptom. It was the most obvious symptom. If Freddy had caught sight of it, he’d instantaneously know she was having an anxiety attack. Her façade would be over immediately.

Freddy had been watching the second half of the football game when he thought he saw something out of the corner of his right eye. He froze. Did she…? His eyes widened with worry as he readied himself to look Amelia’s way. The time between Freddy’s eyes alerting him to the potential concern and him facing her was infinitesimal. As was the amount of time between getting visual confirmation of his concern and a deep frown forming on his face. His sweet woman was suffering. He swallowed a sigh as he took in the sight.

Amelia’s eyes were wide as she stared at the football field. But, Freddy could see how truly unfocused her gaze was. She wasn’t here right now; she was deeply immersed in her head. He wasn’t sure what had prompted this anxiety attack tonight, so he felt a slight rush of protective anger form. His eyes dashed around their surroundings, analyzing each and every attendee to see if there was any sign they’d done something to cause Lia’s distress. Upon not seeing any explanation, Freddy turned his eyes back to her.

Freddy stifled a concerned gasp as his hands hurriedly moved to grab Amelia’s. It physically hurt his heart to see the way she had a clearly intensive grip that she’d been using to clutch onto her knees so tight that her nails were surely causing crescent moon-like indents in her skin. He calmed himself as to not startle her given her eyes were still staring straight ahead. Freddy then delicately took hold of her cold hands and carefully removed them from her legs. His hips and bum slid until he was kneeling before his fiancée, warming her hands with his. His worried eyes scanned hers as he waited for the signal he knew would alert him that at least a sliver of her attention had escaped from the depths of her mental turmoil.

When Amelia didn’t respond but instead clearly tried to hide her attack symptoms, Freddy furrowed his brows and frowned. Despite the loud cheering around them, all of his attention was on her; not the game. “Darling, do you want to take a walk?” He asked encouragingly. He intentionally asked this indirect question as he knew she would often become frustrated during her anxiety attacks simply about having to have them in the first place. So Freddy knew by now that not pointing them out to her was a good way to keep her anxiety from increasing.

Amelia’s eyes spared the briefest of glances over at Freddy before she shook her head and looked back at the football game. She pasted on a half-smile, the left side of her lips curling light as that side of her mouth was the closest to him. He was knelt in front of her but slightly to the side of her left knee due to the limited space from the row of bleachers below theirs restricting his ability to be directly in front of her. Amelia hoped the angle would work in her favor and make Freddy think it was a full smile, when in reality she couldn’t muster up enough strength or focus to make both sides of her mouth actually lift.

Freddy pressed his lips into a thin line as he watched his dear fiancée. Her eyes were back on the game behind him, but he could see they were not focused and she was starting to tear up. Her fair skin had begun turning a bit pinkish in hue. But, he still went about handling the matter indirectly as to not upset her. Freddy smiled weakly as he tilted his head. “Your face is a little flushed.”

Amelia offered no verbal response to Freddy’s comment. But, it was clear to him that she’d heard and realized he was aware she wasn’t doing well. Because not long after his statement, he watched as her jaw clenched and head twitched to her right faintly despite her trying to resist it. Freddy promptly stood up and tugged on her hand softly. “‘ome on love, let’s go get some more water from concessions, hmm?”

Amelia shook her head and gently pulled her hand away. “I’m fine,” she whispered stubbornly despite the shaky fake smile on her face. “Just.. watch the game Fr-eddy”.

Freddy of course effortlessly saw through Amelia’s façade and frowned. He frowned to himself as he suppressed a sigh. In theory, he appreciated her wanting him to do what she felt he would rather be doing. But, that wasn’t the case. He’d chose her over anything else, no matter the circumstances.

Freddy reluctantly moved back to his seat. For now, he’d try to silently help, without acknowledging what he was doing or why. He refused to not help her through it at all. So, he pretended to focus only on the game but used his peripheral vision to keep an eye on her. If she felt that not addressing the attack would help her get it under control or let her feel more empowered by doing so, it wasn’t his place to say otherwise. It was her body. As much as he wanted to and tried to understand what her anxiety attacks were like for her, he knew he didn’t. No matter how many books he’d read on it. No matter how many times he’d (with her permission and awareness of course) asked her mental health counselor for help in forming a deep knowledge and understanding about it. Only she could truly know what it was she needed in these moments. So, Freddy would stand to the side and let her choose the route tonight. However, he knew there were occasionally times when he’d need to step in. Fortunately though, it hadn’t reached that point so far tonight. She hadn’t reached the point that he feared yet. The point that made his already momentarily broken heart shatter into smaller pieces. The point where she was unable to help herself get through it or settle down on her own. He didn’t mind being there to lovingly provide that act of service for her, but he knew she often wanted to do it herself if she was able to. The heartbreak came from knowing she was feeling so miserable and that there wasn’t much he could do to help.

Freddy lovingly rubbed Amelia’s thigh and knee, his hand lightly weighing down against her leg. He knew that whenever he did so, it would help keep her leg a bit more steady, slowing down -if not stopping- her bouncing. And in turn, it would help lower her heart rate that he knew would be high. He had sat slightly closer ever to her when he’d returned to his seat. He wanted her to feel his presence but didn’t want to make her too warm as he was still worried about how flushed she looked. But, until she relaxed some and let him help, he couldn’t do much about that. So, he had to focus on helping her reach that point where she would cooperate with his assistance. However, after a few minutes, Freddy could tell this was a particularly bad anxiety attack. Just as he prepared himself to begin being a bit more direct with Amelia, she mumbled that she needed to use the restroom.

Freddy rose and took Lia’s hand. “I’ll go with love, I could use a trip to the loo as well,” he fibbed.

Amelia faltered briefly, skeptical of Freddy’s statement. But, she nevertheless agreed. She couldn’t keep stressing over whether he knew. She needed to get out. She needed to breathe. She let herself hold Freddy’s hand tightly as he walked with her to the stadium bathrooms. The steps under her feet seemed to multiply and blur together, so she was grateful when she felt Freddy’s hand leave hers and move to wrap around her waist instead. Upon reaching the separation point outside the bathrooms, she lifted her now-free hand and pointed towards the men’s side.

“Honey…” Freddy cooed sweetly. He squeezed her side as he grabbed her raised hand in his unoccupied one to silently communicate that he knew why she really left her seat and that he was here for that reason too.

Amelia frowned as she looked up at Freddy. “You didn’t really have to use the restroom, did you?” She asked timidly.

When Freddy shook his head sweetly, Amelia slightly caved in on herself. “I… I-I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Freddy’s brows scrunched up as he turned fully towards her. “Nooo, no no, none of that, darling,” he replied sympathetically.

“I’m f-f-fiiinne,” Amelia lied in a futile attempt to convince her fiancé to go back to enjoying his night.

“You look like you're about to fall over,” Freddy pointed out softly. At this point, he had to be more direct. She’d nearly stumbled over the bleacher steps on their way down here. And now, even as they just simply stood, she was looking as if she’d fall down if it weren’t for him supporting her waist. He could see the bashful expression on her face as she silently acknowledged he was right. “Please let me help,” he begged, his mind replaying how much she shook while they’d walked down here.

“You… you don't have to do this,” Amelia told Freddy with a sad frown.

Freddy shrugged. “I never said I did”. He moved back to her side, rubbing the fabric over her hip to encourage her to lean against him. He smiled lightly when she did and then began guiding her to the bench nearby. “I’m grabbing you a water darling, I’ll be right back though,” he promised, bending down to kiss her clammy forehead before heading towards the concessions.

Freddy had kept his eyes on her the whole time he’d been gone, still deeply concerned about her. As soon as he had the water in hand, he quickly made his way back to where he’d had her wait. They exchanged hushed words as she thanked him for the water and he encouraged her to begin taking small sips. As she managed to drink some of the water, he smiled faintly in relief. “Do you have your medicine on you?” He questioned.

Amelia shook her head and looked away shamefully. When Freddy simply whispered a delicate “okay” in response to her mistake, she whimpered as her guilt rose. “I’m sorry,” she sighed.

“Darling,” Freddy cooed . “No, it’s perfectly alright that-“ he began.

“I didn’t.. I didn’t think I’d need them,” Amelia confessed, still looking at her feet as her toes anxiously tapped against the soles of her shoes.

Freddy nodded and sat down on the bench beside her. “That’s fine, love,” he promised. He brushed some wisps of hair from her clammy forehead lovingly. “We’ll get you through this without them just fine”.

Amelia sniffled as she tried to keep from fully crying. “I should’ve brought them. That was stu-“.

“Ah ah, no,” Freddy kindheartedly scolded. “That’s just the anxiety talking, Lia”.

Amelia defiantly shook her head. “That’s just it,” she whined. “My anxiety only exists because of the things I’m doing wrong or not doing when I should be”.

Freddy’s fingers slowly moved from her forehead to trace her tense jawline. “No, honey,” he argued, “that’s not how it works, you know that”.

“I should’ve brought my meds so you didn’t need to take care of me,” Amelia said, voice breaking at the end.

Freddy squinted in slight offense but quickly recovered. “‘ey now love, I will always be up for taking care of you, darling,” he promised. “After all, it’s part of the whole marriage thing,” he grinned. His grin soon switched to a frown as he noticed her breathing had once again picked up. “Ah woah, woah, easy love, what’s happening? What did I say that made it worse?” Freddy questioned warmly. When she only shook her head, he gave her a tender kiss on her cheek. “Darling, I’m not offended, I just need to know so I don’t do it again,” he explained.

Shaking her head again, Amelia said, “it’s not like that”.

“Honey,” Freddy whined quietly, cupping her cheek in his palm.

Amelia once again shook her head. “I should’ve brought them so we could enjoy our night,” she scolded herself. “But I didn’t bring them cause I didn’t.. I didn’t think I’d need them”.

Freddy nodded in understanding. “That’s alright, that’s bound to happen Lia,” he replied breezily. “You don’t need to feel bad about that,” he added as she sniffled. “Can you tell me what it was that triggered it tonight? Maybe I can help”.

Amelia felt the nervous tension in her body amplify as she tried to find a way out of having to explain her feelings to Freddy. She didn’t want him to feel bad or insecure that she’d been triggered by thoughts of their upcoming wedding. But, as she tried to keep her nervous energy contained to hide her reaction in order to keep his worry down, her breathing became more choppy. “It doesn’t matter,” she rushed out.

“It does, it matters to me, darling,” Freddy defended.

Amelia slowly shook her head as she took a deep breath. She held some air in her chest as she lifted her head and pretended she had worked through her anxiety attack. “You can go back to watch the game. I’m f…” she paused, internally yelling at herself for the shaky inhale that interrupted her. “I’ll be fine in just a bit,” she amended.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere,” Freddy replied simply.

“But-“.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Freddy repeated. His thumb stroked over her tense jaw down to her chin. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than beside you, no matter the circumstances,” he informed her tenderly. “I’d rather be beside you in literal hell than in a supposed heaven without you”.

Amelia looked up at Freddy despite feeling the tears that were now starting to fall from her eyes. “Su-Supposed?”

Freddy nodded with a shy smile. “It couldn’t be an actual heaven to me without you there,” he explained, a blush forming on his cheeks. He let out a sigh of relief as she suddenly lunged into his embrace. His arms wrapped around her trembling frame and held her to him while whispering loving words.

"How long has it been?" Amelia asked as she leaned back and began to dry her face.

“What?” Freddy asked in confusion. He tenderly removed Amelia’s hands from her face so he could dry her damp skin more gently than she was.

“That we’ve been gone, since we’ve left our seats,” Amelia elaborated.

“I don’t.. I don’t know, why darling?” Freddy questioned as he watched her glance over his shoulder, towards the field. “What’s important about that?” He wondered softly.

“You’re missing the game,” Amelia pointed out, looking back at Freddy with a frown.

Freddy sighed lovingly. “Sweetheart, I don’t care about the game”.

“Yes you do!” Amelia defended.

Freddy hummed. “Okay, alright,” he nodded. “Yes, I care about the game.“ When she gave him a knowing look, he returned it and added a smile. “But, I care about you far more,” he elaborated.

“Freddy-”.

“No,” Freddy shook his head. “Respectfully darling, I’m not going to listen to you argue with me on that.”

Amelia sighed, breaking eye contact with Freddy as her guilt weighed on her. “But I’m ruining our date by being a burden,” she reminded him.

“No- wha-,” Freddy mumbled, pausing with a sighed exhale. “Darling,” he frowned, heartbroken. He grabbed her hands tenderly, “you’re not a burden”. Seeing Lia was going to argue, Freddy shook his head softly. “Now, now, let me finish”. He smiled warmly as she silently gazed into his eyes as she listened. “I love and care for you with my entirety. And I do so willingly and happily, my darling.” “By definition,” he continued, “the same cannot be said of things that are considered to be burdens. Therefore, even by definition, you love, are not a burden to me.”

Freddy’s thumb dried her newly shed tears before he guided her head to his shoulder. He smiled to himself as her slightly shaking arms found their way around his waist. “What do you say we head back to the flat, cuddle, and just rest?” He proposed.

“I want us to finish the game,” Amelia stated as she lightly shook her head. “If you’re still wanting to after all my drama,” she muttered.

Freddy shushed her and pressed a kiss to her nose. “I’m certainly up for that, if you’re certain you’re able to handle that,” he informed her. “But, I want to do whatever it is you feel you need, even if it’s not what you think I want to do”.

Through further discussion, Freddy agreed to stay at the game as long as Amelia agreed to letting Freddy fully help her now. After he’d assisted her in calming down, they made their way, hand in hand, back to their seats. Only, there was only a handful of minutes left in the game by the time they were situated.

Amelia frowned slightly as the fans cheered upon the conclusion of the football game. She turned to her patient and loving fiancé. “I’m sor-,” she began to apologize.

Freddy sweetly shook his head and squeezed her hand. “I spent the night with my beautiful fiancée,” he smiled, “there’s nothing to apologize for about that”. He smirked as he noticed her blush and shy smile. But he also saw that a split second after, her eyes held a bit of a distant look in them. He watched her closely in confusion as she clearly tried to keep the calm she’d worked so hard to obtain tonight. He desperately wanted to know what had triggered her, both in the first place, and now. But, he decided not to push it right now. He would certainly bring it up later though, when she had been able to have the time to rest and separate from the incident so as to not retrigger her by him bringing it up too soon.

Upon returning home, Freddy had offered to draw Amelia a warm bath. But, she politely requested just to cuddle in bed before they went to sleep. And of course, Freddy more than happily obliged.

As such, the couple was now laying in bed, limbs intertwined. Freddy was intently paying attention to the speed of her heartbeat and breathing, closely monitoring it so he’d catch any sign that her anxiety might be returning. Since he didn’t know what had triggered it tonight, he wanted to be sure to not miss it starting up again unexpectedly.

Amelia groaned slightly dramatically as her phone beeped. With her hand still on Freddy’s chest, she asked him to check the device for her as it was sitting on the charger base on the nightstand by his side of the bed.

Freddy smiled softly, craning his neck to kiss the top of her head. He then leaned over to check her phone, typing in her code effortlessly. He squinted at the message, the brightness straining his eyes in the dark. After his eyes adjusted, he read the message and turned back to his fiancée. “Looks like the flower vendor needs more time to confirm,” he explained, referring to the message’s update about their latest request.

Freddy frowned to himself as he noticed her do her anxious head twitch thing. It was a light twitch this time, but even so, she simply hummed in response; clearly hoping he didn’t catch the action. “Darling, it’s not anything you need to stress over, it’s all going to work out,” he assured her. He quickly muted her phone and locked it for the night before blindly placing it back on the wireless charger platform. While doing so, he watched as Amelia nodded too obediently and quickly, as if reassuring herself as well as him. That’s when Freddy caught on to the other clues from earlier tonight and connected the dots. “Amelia,” he whispered, “is this what’s been troubling you tonight? Wedding stuff?”

Amelia’s breath hitched and she silently looked away. Her fingers shyly dragged down Freddy’s chest slowly as she tried to move so he couldn’t see her break down.

“Oh love,“ Freddy sighed, turning towards her more and held her to him. “You know you’re not alone in these things, yeah?” He inquired.

“I- I know,” Amelia nodded against his chest.

“Good,” Freddy replied, kissing her scalp. “‘n you know that no matter what happens with the flowers, it’ll be alright, yeah?”

“It…It’s not just..,” Amelia mumbled quietly.

“Go on,” Freddy encouraged lovingly as he gazed down at her on his chest.

“It’s not just the flowers,” Amelia confessed shyly.

Freddy hummed in sympathy. “What else is on your mind, love?”

“It’s just…” Amelia sighed, feeling her breath pick up. “There’s.. there’s so much still to do and I don’t feel like I’m on top of it and-“ she began rambling.

“Sweetheart,” Freddy cooed. “You’re not alone in this,” he said, repeating his earlier reminder. “In fact, I would like for us to switch the email notifications over to my phone instead for the vendors, and-“.

“Freddy,” Amelia sighed, feeling guilty for making him feel like he had to do this.

“No, love, please?” Freddy requested, rubbing his arm down her shoulder and bicep softly.

Amelia’s lips curled up against Freddy’s chest lightly in a small smile. “I know you’re here to help, you don’t need to do this to prove-“.

“I know I don’t,” Freddy interrupted. “But, I want to. You don’t need to stress over this and if that helps even in the slightest, it’s more than worth it.”

“I shouldn’t need that,” Amelia pointed out with a frown. “You shouldn’t have to take on everything because I can’t deal with stress”.

“Shhh love, that’s not what’s happening,” Freddy argued sweetly. “You are fine at handling stress. Weddings are a lot. I’ve been feeling some stress too, you know that, we talked about it last week, remember?”

Amelia nodded, “but you don’t…”. She paused as she sniffled. She felt her body defiantly begin to shake slightly once again. “Y-you don’t get like…. like this”.

Freddy hummed with a sigh. “That’s not something to compare love,” he advised. “We help each other out wherever needed, no questions asked, or clarification or reasoning needed.” He held her closer to him as he rested his chin on her head. “You do it for me without even thinking, all of the time, Lia. Please allow me to do the same without feeling guilty for granting me that honor,” he requested quietly.

Amelia was silent for a second as she composed herself as much as she could. “Hon..honor?”

“Mmhm,” Freddy hummed affirmatively. “Honor, darling.” His thumb tenderly stroked the side of her face that wasn’t buried against his chest. “It’s genuinely an honor to be with you, and to be the person whom you go to for help when you need it,” he admitted.

Amelia smiled against Freddy and nodded in acceptance, “okay”.

Freddy grinned. “Okay. Good.” “So, we will work on you sharing your thoughts with me; especially before they build up from being kept in so long,” he began softly. Once she nodded, he continued. “And we will work on getting you more comfortable knowing and accepting that I want to help you wherever another anxiety attack comes, no matter the circumstances, triggers, or lack there of.”

As Freddy concluded his loving proposal for how they’d handle the stressors on Amelia’s mind, she smiled and shifted to look up at him. She blinked lovingly at him in admiration and appreciation. “I love you Freddy,” she whispered.

Freddy beamed, “I love you too Amelia”.

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fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction · 4 months ago

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Afton-Herrera Moments 6

The feeling of fingers running through his hair roused Sydney from sleep, drawing him away from the uneasy dream that had drifted near nightmare state. He blinked his eyes open slowly, nose twitching as he took stock of his surroundings. Soft bed, comfortable sheets and blankets, the scent of lavender Vanessa wore to bed as a lotion to calm them both, the faint sounds of music from Alex’s room, quiet atmosphere. The room was dimly lit by the bedside lamp turned on to a low setting. Bright enough to see, but not enough to burn his eyes. He was resting on his side, facing opposite of how he was when he fell asleep, his cheek pressed to Vanessa’s shoulder. Her fingers ran idly through his hair again, rhythmic strokes while she read a magazine in silence.

He hummed in confusion; why was he in this position? Did he wake her up? Or had she woken due to a nightmare of her own? She heard him, of course, or maybe she felt the vibration of his throat against her arm, but she smiled a little and looked over at him.

“Feel better?” she asked and Sydney made a face in response, a weak grimace that he hoped expressed what he couldn’t with words. Vanessa just laughed softly. “Yeah, I figured as much. Sounded like you were about to have a nightmare so I thought this would help hold it off,” she explained, drawing her fingers through his hair again.

It did, oddly enough, but knowing Vanessa’s fascination with the way he kept his hair he suspected that she’d find any excuse to play with it. Sydney hummed his thanks as he settled back into place. That was fine. If it made her happy, she could play with it all she liked. Drowsiness set in again and he drifted off to sleep once more.

It didn’t feel like much time passed when a change in the air woke him again. He roused himself from sleep, blinking as he registered the small figure curled up against Vanessa’s other side. Gregory slept almost soundly by her, eyebrows twitching ever so slightly as though in reaction to a stressful dream. He hummed questioningly again, looking up at Vanessa as she ran her fingers through the boy’s hair as well.

“He showed up a bit ago, said he had a nightmare and wanted some hot chocolate but you were asleep,” she told him and shrugged with her free shoulder, “So I suggested he get comfy in here and maybe that’d let him sleep. Seems like it’s working so far.” She gave him a mischievous smile. “Jeaaaalous?” she teased.

Sydney rolled his eyes at her, holding in a grin at her laugh. Times like this he soaked in the comfort of having this odd little family he stumbled into by getting himself kidnapped so long ago. And other times, it frightened him to think about these innocent people who trusted him so much as a friend, who stayed so close to him, while he had an unwanted piece of his past trapped in his mind and whispering to him almost constantly.

Ignoring it was easy to do, but every now and then...

Every now and then, that Panther made sense.. and those days terrified him the most.

His hair was tugged on gently and he looked up to see Vanessa raise an eyebrow at him. “You have that ‘I’m not good for anyone’ expression again,” she told him and smirked, “If your face freezes like that, I’ll get the blame for it.”

This time he did smile back, chuckling at his words being turned back on him. That anxiety was still there, lurking, waiting to pull him back under once he gave himself time to think about all he’d gained and stood to lose if he lost control of himself, but for now he could push it aside. Push it down for later while he grasped at the lightness of Vanessa’s teasing as a saving grace.

Her magazine was set aside on the bedside table by the lamp, a lost cause with both her hands now busy with playing with his and Gregory’s hair, soothing gestures of comfort. Sydney didn’t even realize how truly effective it was until his blinks grew heavier and slower to the point that he caught on, but by that point he was too drowsy to care. He sank back into sleep to the sound of Vanessa’s encouraging coo at him.

The next time he awoke it was to the scent and feel of the sun streaming in through the space between the curtains of the bedroom, reminding him to better check the placement of them before going to bed next time. What was the point of having the privacy curtains if the slightest change to the way he hung them made them vulnerable to being peeked through and putting Vanessa at risk? What a nuisance.

Sydney opened his eyes with a faint scowl at the thought of such a security breach. Vanessa was still asleep, mouth slack in full relaxation, her fingers still tangled in his hair and Gregory’s. There would be no rousing her from this state unless there was a cup of coffee served out for her first.

Gregory, however, was wide awake, still curled up by Vanessa, one arm thrown over her stomach in a hug, his eyes fixed on Sydney with an unreadable look on his face. He blinked back, uncertain of what the boy was thinking.

“Why do you wear old people clothes to sleep?” Gregory asked suddenly and Sydney snorted, trying to keep in a burst of laughter that tried to escape him at the strange question. “How is that funny? You sleep in a shirt with buttons. Why do all your shirts have buttons? Do you have anything that doesn’t have buttons on it?!”

He glanced up at Vanessa to be sure she was still dead to the world in sleep. “No,” Sydney replied with a smirk, feeling the laughter still bubbling inside and wanting out.

Gregory stuck his tongue out at him, the corners of his mouth turned up in a smile. Smug little brat was probably still pleased that he was the only one now that Sydney spoke to, and he still felt guilty that he couldn’t bring himself to do the same to his brother or his best friend. Not while Panther was in his head with his ever present threat to break the people he loved and remake them as he saw fit.

He reached out to ruffle the boy’s hair, careful to avoid dislodging Vanessa’s fingers from where she had her hand resting against the back of his head, brown hair stuck in tufts between her fingers.

“Are ya gonna make pancakes for breakfast?” Gregory asked hopefully after batting at his hand to rescue his hair and smooth it down as best he could.

“I should feed you chorizo con frijoles and maybe you won’t be so scrawny,” Sydney told him in a hushed tone, poking at his arm. Gregory poked back with a cackle.

“How the heck am I supposed to fit inside Freddy if you do that?”

“Don’t be inside Freddy, then.”

“His stomach hatch is my safe space!”

“Chingase tu ‘safe space’.”

Gregory scrunched up his nose at his teasing, “God, you sound just like Knife Lady when you talk like that.” Sydney just nodded. Good; she was terrifying and knew what she was talking about. A good comparison. “Pancakes?” Gregory asked again, making himself look as adorable and adoring as he could. Sydney just grimaced at the look.

“Only if you never look at me like that again. That’s weird,” he replied dryly, “You’re a pain in the ass; stick with what you know.”

The shit-eating grin on Gregory’s face told him the little asshole knew what he was doing and got exactly what he wanted. Sydney rolled his eyes fondly, then set to work on carefully tugging Vanessa’s hand free of his hair, wincing a bit when she flexed her fingers in her sleep to tighten her grip. It was only for a moment, like she didn’t want to let him go, then she relaxed again and he slipped free. He very carefully set her hand down at her side and Gregory gave him a strangely solemn look.

“I get it,” he murmured and looked a bit distant, as if searching his memories, “She was really worried about you, back in the Pizzaplex when we went down in that pit to bust the system that had you under control. She kept calling for you the whole time we were down there, even when that burned up rabbit thing was coming after us. That thing and the weird blob with the burned Freddy head and the tentacles.” Sydney tilted his head, casting a guilty glance over in her direction. “She really didn’t wanna let you go.”

“She’s my best friend,” Sydney muttered and shrugged listlessly, “But maybe it woulda been better for her if she did let go.”

The scowl on Gregory’s face looked both out of place and faintly familiar. The thought of ‘blue’ crossed his mind briefly once again. “Nah. Not happenin’,” the boy told him, hugging Vanessa again, “She’s happy when you’re around, and you’re not so bad to hang out with, even with all the ‘oh I’m scared to talk to anyone else’ thing you have going on.” He shrugged. “I know that I wished somebody was looking for me, wondering if I was okay, all those days and nights I was hiding in the Pizzaplex. So you should be happy that you had Alex and Vanessa both wanting you safe.”

“Heavy topic for a shrimp like you,” Sydney pointed out, shying away from it himself. He wasn’t safe, not to them. Not until he could exorcize the software in his head biding its time within the prison it had originally built for him.

“One of us has to be the grownup about it,” Gregory sniffed, then squirmed and squealed laughingly when Sydney started poking him in the side as retaliation.

“I’ll make your pancakes if you bring Vanessa the coffee I need to make her to get her to wake up.”

“Deal!”

#bits and pieces #fnaf au #fnaf fanfiction #sydney herrera #vanessa afton #gregory afton #fnaf vanessa #fnaf gregory #parlourverse au

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mamamittens · 2 years ago

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Requested Calling (Pt. 3)

Pt. 1, Pt. 2

Warnings: Uh, vague and mild references to masturbation as stress relief. And possibly other gross bodily functions. It's not super relevant and does not directly feature, don't worry, I just didn't want anyone to be blindsided or confused about why there would be concern with a preteen sharing cell space with a grown man. (They are technically prisoners on the Moby Dick after all, and Whitebeard is a bit old fashioned to boot). Light anxiety/panic attack due to trauma.

Word Count: 1,960

She supposed that this was to be expected. Whitebeard’s crew were quite nice, but they were still prisoners. Though she did notice that the lamps were actually adjusted to full brightness rather than leaving the cells darkened and cold. One of the commanders, a tall blond man with a lazy gait and large tattoo across his bare chest, led the way. A few others dividing up supplies for them to use during their stay. Blankets, some books, and spare clothing to change into whenever they gave up on their ruined unforms.

Uncertainly, she looked around, still holding onto the trailing sleeve of her captain, when the commander grabbed her shoulder. She looked up at him questioningly. He kneeled down closer to her height as her captain grimaced but didn’t say anything.

“Sorry, kiddo. There’s not a lot of privacy here. Oyaji, my brothers, and I don’t think it’s appropriate for a girl to stay in the same wing with a bunch of grown men. I don’t know what accommodations you had before, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t sleep in the same room as your crewmates.” Her captain cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.

“She shared a room with Doctor Crusoe for the first month while she recovered but after that, you’d be right, Phoenix. With the exception of bad storms overnight.” Captain Hektor said. “But where will she stay? Seems awful convenient given your captain’s intentions to separate her from the rest of us.” He accused lightly.

The commander grinned, almost amused.

“Opposite side of course. She’s not going far.”

She looked at them both quietly, her chest aching.

She hadn’t been alone since she was pulled from the sea. The idea of having to do so in a cell… her hands shook.

This… this must be what fear feels like.

Something small and frail fluttering in her chest. Vibrating in her veins and stinging her eyes. Light danced around her lashes as she looked up at Captain Hektor. He blanched, quickly kneeling down and waving his hands about uncertainly.

“Ack! Nonono! It’s alright! N-None of that, sweetheart!” Captain Hektor cried out.

“The nerve! Scarin’ the wee lass! C’mere girly-pop, it’s a’right.” Doctor Crusoe swept her up in a soft hug, the scent of tobacco and antiseptic strong as she buried her face into his uniform. A firm hand rubbing over her shoulders. “The big, mean ole pirate didn’t mean it like tha’. Yer not stayin’ ‘n there all alone f’rever! J’st to sleep, isn’t tha’ right? Phoenix?”

She clutched his uniform, her breath sticking in her throat as she tried to dry her eyes. She felt silly.

It wasn’t like she’d been threatened.

She was just being told she’d be staying in a cell! All… all alone. Away from the men she’d grown close to over the past few months on a ship filled with people she didn’t know. Who towered over her and didn’t have any pressing reason to be nice. Ample reason to not be nice, in fact! Given her current, technical occupation as a marine.

“Of course! We’re hardly concerned about any of you sabotaging the ship after all. You’ll be restricted on where you can go, of course. And any… poor behavior will lead to confinement. But we’re not keeping you down here all day forever!” She felt a soft tap on her shoulder and after rubbing her sore eyes she turned in Doctor Crusoe’s arms. The commander looked at her softly, a kind, understanding smile gracing his features. He tapped her nose before brushing his knuckle over her damp cheek. “It’s going to be alright, kid. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”

He seemed sincere.

She looked around at her fellow crewmates. They seemed about as happy as she was, but not worried. A few spoke up.

“Yeah! They’re not the worst as far as pirates go!”

“You dumbass, that’s not reassuring!”

“S-Sorry! W-What I mean to say is that maybe if you holler, we can still hear you!”

Shinji received a hard slap to the back of his head for the comment.

“Not! Helping!”

The commander sighed, rubbing his face as he muttered so softly she almost didn’t hear him.

“…well at least they’ll fit in once they ditch the uniforms.” He rolled his eyes and gave her another gentle smile. “Both sections will have night guards to make sure there aren’t any shenanigans from you or my own crew. So really, you won’t be alone at all kiddo.”

…it wouldn’t be her own crew but…

Anything was better than being alone.

She reached out and took the commander’s hand, allowing herself to be lifted out of Doctor Crusoe’s arms without any protest. He picked her up easily, settling her on his hip with a chuckle as she held onto his neck for reassurance.

“We do need to check you over again though before you get settled in. Ace told me that you had a pretty nasty concussion. Our doctors are some of the best in the New World to help look after Oyaji—No offence Doctor Crusoe.” He said, sparing the doctor a glance. He waved it off with a roll of his eyes.

“No offense taken here, laddie. A second opinion is always welcome.” He winked at her before the commander started walked back out of the section. Leaving her crewmates behind.

--*--

Marco carried the kid with a gentle grip, aware of how slight she felt in his arms. Not alarmingly so, thankfully, but enough that he was glad for the excuse to have her looked over. Pediatrics wasn’t his strong suit, but there were several in his division that dabbled often enough on the various islands they stopped at. Her eyes were still a little red, her nose tinged with color after the small upset. It was surprising how expressive her eyes were given the relative lack of emotional range she’d shown thus far. He felt bad about it, really, but not enough to change his mind about her accommodation.

A grown adult marine might have been kept where she was regardless of gender—maybe, Oyaji was old fashioned after all—but a preteen girl? Absolutely not. And not because they suspected anything malicious from the marines. Grown men just tend to be… weird under stress. And the last thing he wanted was to have to facilitate a conversation about sexuality if she saw something she wasn’t meant to. It wasn’t like the cells had separated bathrooms after all.

Marco’s had the misfortune of sharing bathroom space with grown men his own age that he wouldn’t wish on anyone.

“I’m Marco by the way.” Marco said as they approached the medical ward. She jerked in his arms, head swiveling towards him from her curious gawking at the walls of the Moby Dick. Gold eye wide and strangely catching the light in her pupil. Her hand around his shoulder rubbing the collar of his jacket thoughtfully.

“Hi, Marco.” She whispered softly, looking at the nurse organizing spare bedding that had been freshly laundered.

“Get Doctor Isa, she’s the most experienced with kids.” Marco ordered, cutting off the chance for the nurse to coo over the little marine. He couldn’t exactly blame her reaction. Most of his brothers were hardly cute after all.

And the kid in her too-big marine uniform looked like she was playing dress up. Hat settled crookedly over her curiously purple-blue hair.

Doctor Isa was quick to shuffle out of her office with a smile, doctors coat thrown over the pink uniform most nurses chose to wear due to a off-color joke Oyaji made a decade ago.

He sure did eat his words when he had to take his medication without complaint though…

“Why hello! I’ve heard so much about you already, dearie~! Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll run through my checklist!” She greeted, pink curls bouncing animatedly around her ears as she grinned. Marco obliged and set her down on an exam table in a separated room. He knew damn well others would get nosy, so he shut the door preemptively. Several doctors and nurses scowling at him like he wasn’t their commander.

Sitting on a bed made for grown men did little to alleviate how small the kid looked.

Isa poked and jokingly prodded the kid with her stethoscope while she talked. Distracting the kid into giving honest answers without thought. Isa seemed displeased at the exceedingly low volume the kid was capable of giving with her voice, gently poking rubbing the kid’s throat and inspecting her tonsils. She frowned as she tipped the kid’s head this was and that.

“Hmm… I’d need to some other equipment to check it out, but it seems like there’s something unusual with your vocal cords, sweetie. It could explain why excessive volume hurts. And you still have most of your milk teeth… all in good condition so you must have had a healthy lifestyle before but… how old did you say you were, sweetie?” Isa pulled out the tongue compressor.

“Maybe thirteen?” Isa frowned, looking down and pulling off a shoe, revealing newspaper stuffed inside them. Right. The marine captain did say she was too small for a proper uniform. Isa lifted up the kid’s skinny leg, brushing her thumb over the shin.

“Well, you’re certainly tall for your age but… you can’t be older than eleven. I’d need to do an x-ray or some bloodwork to check, but I suspect you’re likely closer to ten, sweetie.” Isa apologized softly. “But the good news is that you’ve recovered from your concussion. I don’t recommend any head thrashing for the time being, though. There’s enough lack of sense on this ship as it is.” Isa joked, giving Marco a look.

Marco decided to ignore the objectively true comment. His brother’s (which one? Does it matter? No. No it does not) constant bullshit spoke for itself.

There was a knock on the door. Marco glared at it before getting up, finding Ace on the other side grinning sheepishly.

“S-Sorry, Marco! But hey, I remembered to knock this time!” Ace laughed, leaning to look past Marco and wave at the kid. “I heard you made her cry, so I thought she’d like a friendlier visitor!” Marco narrowed his eyes and arched his brow.

“What? Like you, you menace?” Marco huffed. Ace paused, nose wrinkling in offense.

“What?! Hey!” Ace shook himself suddenly. “No! I mean Stefan! At least until we find a soft toy—girls like those, right? To sleep with?” Ace whispered as he moved to let Stefan trot into the room.

The kid’s eyes lit up as she glanced at Isa for permission. Amused, she nodded, allowing the kid to hop down and give the spoiled mutt the pets he’d clearly been lacking before. She sat on the floor and allowed the dog to clamber onto her lap, nearly knocking her over as he wagged his tail furiously, giggling as she rubbed his ears. Stefan rained slobbery kisses with restrained yips as a tradeoff, knocking off the tacky marine hat. A stray hair leapt up and curled off the kid’s head, bouncing with every laugh.

Marco wondered if Oyaji would lose his sleeping partner for the foreseeable future. Stefan was hardly unfriendly as far as dogs go, but he clearly already adored the kid. Ah well… Oyaji would just have to suck it up. Though it was cute how obviously the kid had found her favorite Whitebeard pirate. Ace looked inordinately pleased with himself and Marco couldn’t bring himself to complain.

The whole scene was stupid cute, after all. And as amusing as his family was, cute was a rare descriptor. As hard as Ace tried when begging for extra food.

#one piece #one piece oc #marco the phoenix #portgas d ace #stefan one piece #whitebeard pirates #call and response OP #that'll be the series tag ig #unless yall got a better idea #stefan in the whitebeard therapy dog and you can fight me about it

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membermentmania · 4 months ago

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August 13th, 6:00-7:02 am

Sometimes all it takes to turn everything you’ve ever known upside down is one person. A person with striking blue eyes and raven hair. A crooked smile and tired eyes. A soul that won’t stay gone and a heart willing to forgive every betrayal committed against him. Someone willing to forgive your sins and still look at you live you’ve hung the stars. A person you could never stop loving no matter how hard you try.

It could be someone else.

It could be anyone else.

But this is who it was for Tweek.

Tweek Tweak had finally made it to adulthood. He was practically vibrating with excitement at the thought of getting his assigned job. On Eldoria, it was customary to learn just about everything in preparation for whatever life could possibly throw at its citizens. Tweek learned so much during this time. He was a bit of a loner, but he had two best friends he would die for. His life had been fun so far, but he was ready for his next chapter. He secretly hoped he would be working with one of said best friends, however.

On the day of his twentieth rotation, he walked into the assignment building, trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling through him. He worked so hard to get it under control, but whenever stress started to creep in, so did little whispers of anxiousness. But he made it inside! He checked in at the front desk before taking a seat to wait. And he waited.

And waited.

And continued to wait for, Seriously, why is this taking so long?

“Tweek Tweak!” a woman’s voice bellowed, snapping him from his thoughts.

He whipped his head up with a quiet yelp, looking at the exhausted woman waving him inside. He stood up, ignoring the tiny remnants of tremors in his hands and walked towards her. He breathed out a quiet “hello” as he followed her into the hallway. The fluorescent lights and white walls felt blinding and extremely unnecessary, only serving to heighten his anxiety. A pit started to form in his stomach as he realized there was nothing influencing what job he would get. He wasn’t anything special. He wasn’t necessarily not special either. But there weren’t any largely notable moments in his life that would’ve put him in a position where his options would be swayed in one way or another or he could speculate what he would be assigned to.

When she led him into her office, she circled her desk and took a seat. He took the uncomfortable wooden chair across from her. He immediately noticed that she already had the hard copy of his file out, which he appreciated. He assumed that meant that she was at least putting some serious thought into this. He noticed a few things before she spoke up. She had a little potted succulent on her desk. Along with some philosophy books on her bookshelf. “Well… You’ve definitely been assigned an interesting job…”

She sounded perplexed. Tweek hated it. She could’ve requested to have it changed based on his file, but it seemed she thought it was a good fit. Maybe it was just because he didn’t look the part. That was a thing. It happened with Bebe. Bombshells that seem like total ditzes rarely get to be doctors. “What is it?” he asked, lack of confidence oozing out of the simple question.

“According to your file, due to your combat, assessment, and political skills, along with minimal emotional attachments, you’ll be working as an interplanetary assessor.”

“WHAT?!” he yelled, not even caring about the outburst. Oh fuck. No no no no no. That is too much fucking pressure! His breaths started to grow short and ragged.

She put a gentle hand on his, catching his attention. “Take a breath.” she instructed patiently. He let his eyes fall shut and took an aggravated, but very slow deep breath. “I take it you know what interplanetary assessors do?” she asked calmly.

“Yes, ma’am.” Interplanetary assessors periodically checked on planets that housed the most hostile creatures the universe had to offer, blasting them back to their version of the stone ages so they couldn’t get too advanced. These life forms would likely destroy the universe if they were allowed to advance too much. The custom dated back to the first uprising, nearly hundreds of thousands of years ago. Tweek understood why they did it, but the custom made his skin crawl. Bloodlines were wiped out because of their actions and it never sat right with him. Despite these creatures being the ‘worst of the worst,’ this wasn’t something he would ever want to do. And of course I get fucking assigned that as my job! Fuck!

“You’ll be assigned to planet Earth. You’ll serve five terms and then you can live out the rest of your days in comfort.” Tweek didn’t care about comfort. He just wanted to work a regular, maybe arguably shitty job, enjoy his time with his friends, and exist in peace. This felt like the exact opposite of that.

But still, he dared to ask. “How long is their planetary cycle?”

“They line up about every one thousand years.”

“THAT’S FIVE THOUSAND YEARS!” he yelled in response, frustration fully taking over.

“And about five weeks of active work time,” she snarked. “This is one of the highest regarded jobs a person can be given.” The look she gave him made his skin itch. She was looking at him like he was an ungrateful child. And maybe he was. Five weeks of working for the entirety of his life and he’d be regarded as a noble. I should be grateful for this.

He let out a defeated sigh. “Okay. When’s my job orientation?”

She offered him a polite smile. “Earth’s assessor had to retire early. Your orientation starts tomorrow.”

Tweek wanted to scream. He knew exactly what this meant. He would not be starting in a few hundred years, or even a few months, he would be starting soon. “Okay,” he breathed out. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Tweek.”

He quickly stepped out of her office and practically flew down the hallway, escaping the building as quickly as possible. The second he was outside, he broke out into a run. He ran the entire way to Bebe’s house and frantically knocked on her door, not thinking to call her to even see if she was home. She should’ve been home and that was close enough.

Excited emerald eyes met his as she opened the door with a smile. “Hi babes, what’s goin’ on?”

A hand flew up into his hair without permission, gripping tightly onto his locks. He was freaking out. “I’m fucked!”

Her eyes widened slightly before her entire face softened. She gently reached her hand up, grabbing Tweek’s hand and untangling it from his hair. “Okay,” she murmured. “I take it your assignment went poorly?” she asked softly.

“YES!” he wailed.

She waved him inside, closing the door behind him. “What happened?”

“Ale me before I throw up.” He kicked his shoes off and trailed further into her living room, taking a seat on her couch. Bebe toddled into the kitchen, grabbing two ales from her fridge. She tossed a can at him and he caught it with one hand, quickly tapping the top before opening it. He took a long sip, but the fizzy alcoholic beverage did nothing but taste good. “I’m an interplanetary assessor. Orientation is tomorrow.”

Bebe’s jaw dropped. She took a moment to gape at him before finally getting the words out. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Tweeks.” Bebe didn’t exactly share his sentiments about interplanetary assessors, but she knew and respected his stance on it. “If I could trade places with you, I would,” she said remorsefully.

He leaned his head back, looking up at her ceiling like it would offer him answers. “I don’t know what to do,” he groaned.

She took a seat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “You take a breath. Take care of yourself. Do your job and try to focus on the good. How many terms do you have to work?”

“Five.”

“Okay. See. That means you’re set for life over basically five weeks of work. And you get to spend the rest of your time home, taking care of yourself.” She tried for a reassuring smile.

He took a deep breath, leaning forward and dropping his face into his hand. “I don’t know if I can do this, Bebs.”

“I have seen you do the most impossible shit over the past, like, fifteen years. Of course you can.”

The next week went by in a flash. Tweek woke up on his twentieth rotation and straight into one of his worst nightmares. There wasn’t a thing he could do about it. Orientation was relatively simple. His process was overly explained to him to a point of exhausting redundancy.

He was to get into the ship the government provided, fly to Earth, disguise himself, and descend onto the planet. He would spend a week there to observe where they were on a technological standpoint, and confirm that their cycle was still accurate. After his week was up, all he had to do was press a single button. It felt cruel that that was all they had to do, like that somehow made it easier. Maybe for some, it did. It didn’t feel easier for Tweek, it just felt wrong.

Tweek also learned what humans were. The feelings he had only served to fester at the realization that humans looked so much like Eldorians. Because of course, he would get assigned to the worst possible planet in the worst possible job he could’ve been assigned. He was jittery. Every breath he took felt uncertain. Pale sage eyes looked muted as the world started to grow dimmer. Each day came too quickly. His mission was seven days after his first day of orientation. It was too cruel.

Bebe and Wendy took him out to celebrate his entrance into adulthood and tried to take his mind off of his inevitable departure. He tried his best to enjoy it. But drinking only brought in a new wave of thoughts that didn’t serve to help. Maybe he would die down there. It’d happened hundreds of times before. It would happen again. If he died down there, it would buy Earth three weeks at most. He wouldn’t be a hero for dying down there. Well, not on Earth at least. The thoughts made his skin crawl in the worst way possible. But still, he hoped drinking would soothe some of the ache in his soul.

It didn’t. He just woke up more anxious. But he sucked it up and tried to push through. The next day he’d be off to leave for his mission. He dragged himself out of bed, not bothering to shower or get dressed into something ‘work-appropriate.’ They could make him do this job, but they could not make him be excited or professional about it.

He had as few interactions as he physically could at the office. He showed up solely to pick up all the necessary materials for this job. He was practically in and out. He answered simple ‘yes, sir’s and ‘no, sir’s to his boss, took his items and left. He stopped by Bebe’s to see his two favorite people and say goodbye. He felt completely empty by the time his head hit his pillow.

Luck did not shine down on him. He laid there for hours, just waiting for sleep to come. Then his alarm went off. He did not sleep a wink by the time he had to leave. He felt like he blinked and he was stepping into his ship. He was thankful for the autopilot system he had, even though he probably would’ve preferred to crash on his way there.

In all, the journey took two days. He passed by planets that looked familiar, along with planets and structures that were completely alien to him. At some point, he got so incredibly lucky and managed to fall asleep.

Sleeping only served to make the trip go by faster though. He hated that he made it to the little orb called Earth so quickly. He wasn’t sure how long he spent looking out the window, just observing. There were so many different colors and shapes that stood out against the blue. He tried to psych himself up, but watching the planet named after literal dirt only added to his anxiety.

He let out a dramatic groan as he walked over to the cylindrical machine in the corner. Now that he was in orbit, it was linked so he could properly blend in with the humans below. He stepped into the too cramped tube, letting a bright flash of light blind him.

He quickly made his way out, immediately noticing the differences. He had five fingers instead of six, something that he didn’t realize when he was looking the files on humans over. His hair was different. Way softer than what it normally was. Still pale blonde, just weirdly soft. The usual light blue tint his skin had faded into something with more peachy undertones. He stepped towards the mirror, wanting to get a better look. He looked odd, but he didn’t hate it. He hated that he thought he looked kinda cute. He silently hoped all humans weren’t kinda cute. That would only make this that much worse.

His real complaint lied with his lack of shirt. His body had deliberate black lines, snaking around it. It was some sort of makeup he didn’t understand. Humans customs changed each time someone went down there, so there was no telling what was what.

He hoped he looked the part, but he didn’t exactly know what he was walking into. He took a deep breath. He was going to try his best to blend in, so at the very least he didn’t get murdered. Humans seemed to be keen on that. He ran a quick inventory, making sure everything was right. His wristband transformed into some sort of cord, but he quickly figured it out. Everything was just dulled down into something way more rudimentary. He was fine. Fuck it. He took another, slower deep breath before pulling on the left cord, sending himself to the world below.

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theuniverseawakens347 · 6 months ago

Text

Going back to the disseminating moon this morning 3:15 …

My period randomly came …

I literally say I am synced with anything and EVERYTHING…

2:30 I lay my head on my fancy pillow 😉 blankets ( all dis Dough LEle)

Anyways I can now tell when it’s going to be a godly morning / all nighter.

( relearning the body is cool and the shit I’m able to do right now, like two full moons ago closed my gap a little just noticed yesterday baby almost REALLY CLOSED …biting THE FUCK out my cuticles cause stressing about $ ration to gas to food ( but clearly starving is no ISSUE LEE) to bills …and I’m picking baaaaaad anxiety like OUT THE ROOF a doctor would say but I’m really picking as a …sensor ( EMDR vibrating eggs) recalling not just past life memories but also telepathically tapping in w people and piecing together pieces in their life how they met me in relation to who sent who cross waves to Lee …but I digress …

My period ( sorry fellas reading but get over it w/o sexualizing it 🤷🏽‍♀️) …

My phone I’ve been tracking since maybe 2019 inconsistently and then I stopped birth control ( cause my body was telling me um bitch killing ovaries not having fun here and my body itself just felt like ..solidifying from the inside out…idk like brittle weird and my breathing was …slowed and shallow ..weird explaining but I felt physically slowed down in my internal skin) so I picked up logging consistently like 21 February after me and hubby walked away from each other ( officially stopped birthcontrol after my body competition 2021 ) anyways… I was noticing during my loggings that my period was synced real good like TOO good w my phone health app …which is weird to me bc …like right now …( and then when I was getting into healing / spiritually I made a couple post about menstrual to moon relation and found some good info that aligned TOO good w me THEN)

…back to now so last night you seen the post ( hit archives and boom you’ll see the knowledge of last nights witching hrs moon )

But today I get out of Trader Hoe’s and I walk to the car and BLOP …I’m like I know you fucking lying … I’m not due to the 3-5th of next month …can’t be real ..

BITCH,

I GOT MY PERIOD ….im 28 cycler…today is 22 days …and my health app 🤯🤯…tell me I’m not who I AM, by telling me I’m not 😂…I KNOW it’s small things, BUT small things add up to BIG THINGS AND trust me SOMETHING BIG IS COMING ..

But anyways looked up menstrual to dissemination moon and found “there’s not evidence…” while proving evidence 😒 …my nigga I been saying catch 22, paradox, Pandora’s box bc …it makes NO SENSE AND ALL THE SENSE 🖕🏽 to what YAL did to ME N MY FUCKING PLANET ..yal are REAL LIFE WATCHING PLANET EARTH HEAL HERSELF THRU A HUMAN* BEING. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS LIFE RN ..I’m just as 🤯 as yal cause 🤯🤯🤯🤯 CIA PENTAGON ITS TIME GET ME HOME. I WANA KNOW YAL VERSION MINE IS JUST 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯.

And lee, worked SO* hard trying to prove I’m NOT who I AM ..KNOWING …HER DAD TOLD HER I AM THE BIG ONE FROM THE SKY …missing details cause the bitch is 🙄 stupid but basically BITCH SEEN MY LITTLE FACE IN THE HEADQUARTERS W HER DAD AS A LITTLE GIRL AND ME A CHILD? 😒 yal got THE right DETAILS ..then wiped 🤫 …anyways here we go… and yesterday I found out LEES A TERRORIST …PURGED THAT DARK MATTER VERBALLY AND NOW PHYSICALLY OUT MY COOCHIE BITCH 🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽dirty ol 🐕

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arosexpositivity · 1 year ago

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So, I have a similar problem. Due to scarring, it's extremely difficult for anyone to make me orgasm, myself included. I've mostly come to terms with that, but it really was distressing for many years.

There are a few things I can suggest trying, especially if the issue seems mostly psychological not physiological.

1. Masturbating during sex. Just DIY that shit if your partners can't.

2. Marathon sex. Orgasms often take way more time during sex, because there's a lot going on. You might get off in 15 minutes on your own, but need an hour or two with a partner.

3. Sex toys. Vibrators especially are super handy during partnered sex, because you can put them where you want the constant stimulus, then focus on your partner's activities without losing stimulation on your target area (clit, g spot, and nipples are common targets)

4. Lube. It's possible to be over lubricated during sex, but it's not super easy to do. Use lube. Make the many repetitive motions of sex a little less friction, and be awed by how much easier stuff gets.

5. Meditation. That's right. Try focusing on sensation to the exclusion of all else. Rather than give a mental commentary on everything, focus on feeling the sensations as deeply as possible. Sex is EXTREMELY demanding on the body. It's part of why so many people panic about sex despite having no other reason to fear it. Meditative focus can take the edge off that stress, letting you slip into a more orgasm ready mindset.

6. Physio. It's entirely possible that during partnered sex you are clenching your pelvis in the same way some people clench their jaws during the day. Not only does this make orgasming harder, it makes orgasms you do achieve very weak from the muscle exhaustion. Practice relaxing your pelvic muscles on a regular basis so that you can do it on purpose for sex.

7. Science. This is harder with hookups than with a recurring partner, but you'd be surprised how many people on the street are into Science And Teachers, so it's very doable. Treat it like a scene. Tell your partner up front, 'I have problems orgasming and today we're going to figure out why.' Then, spend the next couple hours cataloging your response to various stimuli until you either get bored or get eureka'd.

8. Dysphoria/transition. You mentioned being FTM. It's worth noting that even for someone who "fully" transitioned years ago, sex is a very vulnerable place for trans people. It's very easy for us to slip in dysphoric anxiety without even realizing, and that is a 100% guaranteed boner killer. There's also the fact that your perceived 'role' in sex as well as your physical reaction to stimulation will change as you transition. Maybe a partner can't make you come now, but more time on HRT or just a more stable position for trans people in society can change that.

But let's say all else has failed and you just Cannot Cum With A Partner. Not by masturbation, marathon, or any other means.

That's okay!

I can't do it either, and trust me, it doesn't worsen my sex life. If anything, things got way easier and better when I stopped stressing about it. You will still be able to fuck like a train either way, if you're into that.

Feel a little embarrassed asking this but, I'm an ftm sub and I... can't seem to cum when I'm with other people. By myself, it's not that hard, but it seems like mindset is just as important as the physical part? Do you have any advice on getting into the right mindset with others and not just alone? Anxiety seems to hold me back, and I'm sure the fact that I tend to mostly hook up infrequently rather than "date" or anything of the like doesn't help... idk. I feel like I'm missing out and usually my partners are also bothered when I say they probably won't be able to make me cum :/

So a few things do come to mind, though some of this advice is more general than just helping you get into the right mindset. I hope it comes off as the friendly attempt to help I mean it as.

If you feel like you are missing out, then this is definitely something worth trying to fix. I know plenty of subs who don't personally care about getting off as long as their partner does - and I've found that assuring a partner of that can take the pressure and anxiety off of them, which helps their performance. There's nothing wrong with not being able to cum with a partner if it doesn't bother you, but it sounds like it does, so if that would be lying for you, that might just make the anxiety worse, which is not a great idea.

Getting more and more experience will eventually help too, but that's not something that you can rush, and while chemical lubricants might help, if you are doing hookups, they might also make you more vulnerable. So whether or not you want to try that is up to you.

Probably the best thing I can suggest is to try and figure out what parts are making you anxious and work from there. If it's looking at a stranger while you are doing things, maybe try positions where you don't have to see your partner. If it's the presence of and trust in a third party that's making it tough, try some guided masturbation videos, see if that can't help (or hell, reach out to a kinky friend and ask them to lend a hand).

Because you're right - the ability to cum is very dependent on your mindset and ability to feel safe. Unfortunately, without knowing more about the source of the anxiety, I'm not sure I have too much advice to offer? But I can tag in @arosexpositivity to see if xe can offer any insights, too.

Feel free to follow up if any of this helps, or if you want more specific advice, too! I do like to help if I can.

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sparrowmoth · 4 years ago

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🌹 there's probably not much to say about me lol , but this is such a cute and sweet thing, so, like, some nerves aside, let's see what happens 💜

@annoyingmeviestan ♥♥♥ AU CONTRAIRE. I will begin by pointing out that it is extremely admirable that you’re always willing to take a risk and put yourself out there in spite of your anxiety. Believe me, I could never not appreciate how difficult that is to do because, as you know, I struggle with anxiety, too. It sucks (to put it mildly... very mildly), and it’s so easy to let it control your life and keep you from connecting with people. I know this because that’s been my own story for far too much of my life. And in many ways, it’s still my story. But all we can do is try, you know? And you should know that it speaks to an incredible strength of will to get up and keep trying, even knowing that there will be times your anxious doubts will be confirmed. It’s worth it for the times they aren’t. And it’s worth it to see what happens... because you’ll never know otherwise! ♥

Since we became mutuals, you’ve been nothing but exceptionally sweet, kind, and supportive toward me. You’ve made a huge effort to meet me halfway with regards to our varying preferences for staying in touch, and I hope you know I really appreciate that! Little things like that aren’t actually little at all in showing someone’s character. I notice and appreciate those things even if I don’t always mention it. The fact that you take the time to message and check in with me is another thing. It certainly does brighten my day, you should know. I don’t expect it at all, but I am very grateful for it. You have a big heart, and it shows in the way you act, not only towards me, but towards Spidey! (Yeah, I see you popping up in the comments with your cute little Malvie hearts). ;)

And of course... of course... it must be said that you’re an incredibly talented artist, and it’s wonderful to have someone to talk to about that kind of thing! You’ve contributed a lot of beautiful and wonderfully gay art to this fandom. I’m really looking forward to the art party we’re planning! I don’t know many fellow artists (I tend to be the “artist friend” haha), so it’s exciting to have someone to chat with and scream about human anatomy with lol. We artists gotta stick together, ‘cause really... who else is gonna know that exact pain you’re feeling when you accidentally smudge a line, lose your .PSD file, or erase a hole into your sketchbook? Haha. These are unique Artist Hell experiences.

Anyway, let me just end this by saying... you got a lot going for you, hun. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know the brain chemicals have Opinions (believe me, my brain chemicals are a whole ass council of bitches haha), but just try to remember that you deserve to be proud of yourself for all you’ve accomplished in spite of that. And you deserve people in your life who show you the same kindness and warmth that you so freely offer. You’re not annoying. You’re passionate and that’s a beautiful thing. Those who can’t stand passion have none of their own. That’s their personal tragedy, because truly, nothing could make a person more beautiful and magnetic than pure, unbridled passion. The way it shines in someone’s eyes and spills into their words and stirs up this contagious cheerful energy? It’s not even something you have to understand to appreciate. It’s just inherently beautiful and, personally, I love to see it. ♥♥

mutuals send me a “🌹” and i’ll give you a compliment!*

*Inbox is still open for this, I just might take a couple days to respond. If you’ve sent me an ask before this point, I’ll definitely get back to you today though! ♥

#annoyingmeviestan #<3 #theaskbox #sparrow.txt #descendants fandom #and that concludes today's lovefest #honestly I feel so calm for the first time today #I just realized that #I was vibrating from anxiety due to stress all day #how do I just.... remain in this peaceful state of mind thx

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navstuffs · 2 years ago

Text

Protocol 77

Pairing: Firefighter Steve Rogers x GN!Reader

Summary: THIS IS NOT A DRILL!; or where Steve has to save you for real now.

Warning: LONG ONE-SHOT, accident description, blood, injury, mention of DUI, steve feeling powerless/panicking, mentions of anxiety attack, swearing, steve is insecure/belittles himself, angst with good ending, some usage of y/n, bonus scene with protective steve/sam/bucky at the end.

Author's note: i knew the second part of Evacuation Drill had to be with a real one: steve really saving reader this time, this one being less sexy and a little more dramatic. there will be some inconsistencies in this fanfic as well (doctors can only give info about patients to family members, for example). most of the rescuing references came from this video, so you can watch to have a visual of what they are doing. also thank you so much for the feedback on the first part, i hope you guys like this one as well! gif credit to its owner.

Part 1

When the crash happened, you weren't looking at your phone. It had been vibrating the whole day, begging for your attention but you didn't have the time to look at it. You had been driving home, exhausted. You had a really stressful day at your work, with your boss Jerry suddenly informing the team Friday morning that "they" had a huge project for Monday! It wasn't anyone's fault in the team except Jerry's, who had warned he needed that presentation to show the directors. Everyone was ordered to stay late that Friday, except Jerry, to finish the presentation. Your boss had left at 5 o'clock, on point, ordering no one to leave until those slides were ready and e-mailed to him.

You had a pretty competent team, so everyone worked together to finish. Leah was the first to leave; she had twins to take care and she couldn't pay extra for the nanny. She promised to continue her work at home. Polly also couldn't stay more; she took care of her sick grandma. Soon everyone started leaving due to their personal lives, promising to continue at home, except you. You believed in them. The team was strong, except for Jerry. They all looked at you as their boss figure anyway since they knew they couldn't count on Jerry. You wondered how he even got that boss position.

You were so deep in your thoughts, you didn't realize a huge car was speeding through the red light, directly towards you.

-x-

Steve Rogers watched as Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson played some ping pong. It had been a slow night. They had received a call from a cat trapped in a tree(Bucky affirmed over and over again that the old lady had a crush on Steve, that's why she kept calling), some teenagers started a fire in a trashcan in a park and a lady who called about her house being on fire. After a complete check-up in her house, with no sign of any fire anywhere, they realized her alarms were defective due to battery. She apologized profusely, giving them cookies.

"It's Friday night, soon we will probably have something," Natasha Romanoff stated on their way back to the station "At least, we got cookies."

Steve's life had changed in those a lot in those last couple of months: first, he had become an official firefighter. He loved his job, he loved helping people. He felt his purpose was being filled and he was happy. Proud of himself, he would have to admit.

Also, he had a new person in his life: you. He almost couldn't believe it. Since the evacuation drill, Sam gave him your phone number and you started exchanging texts daily. On your first date, he was extremely nervous, because Steve felt completely out of your league. You were so pretty, intelligent, successful, and well, he was just a once skinny kid from nowhere in particular. But for a miracle, you were interested in him. The first kiss came on that same night, outside your door.

Sam and Bucky were eager for all juicy details the following day and Steve could swear Natasha was listening to the conversation as well. He shared about the kiss, making Bucky celebrate and throw his fists in the air. Sam crossed his arms, stared at him very seriously. Sam made Steve promise he wouldn't hurt his best friend. Or else, they would have problems.

Steve twirled his phone in his hands, checking if there were any new messages from you. Nothing since 9 AM. You told him there was some critical project, Jerry again (gosh, he hated Jerry), and you probably would have to work late again. Since then Steve tried to call you at lunchtime and texted a few more times, during his free time, with no answer. Steve was tempted to ask Sam if he had heard from you when they heard the alarm.

Steve jumped from the chair, running to their truck followed closed by the rest of them. Natasha jumped in the driver's seat with Sam in the passenger seat. Bucky and Steve went behind them.

"What is it, what is it?" Bucky inquired, rubbing his hands in excitement.

"Car collision. A car was crossing the green light when another one hit it, at high speed, making the car flip two times and hit a pole. One driver is okay, but the police don't know the condition of the other one." Natasha informed them and Steve could hear Bucky almost cheer. She hushed to turn the siren, driving fast through the city. Lieutenant Natasha was the best driver in the whole station really.

It was a nice change of pace for that monotonous night, but why did Steve have a bad feeling about this?

-x-

When they arrived, police had already circled the area. There was a crowd forming, some people with their phones out. The police officer informed them the driver who caused the accident had only gotten some minor injuries. They were testing him for DUI at that moment, but they couldn't get any information from the other driver. Not good news: their victim was most likely unconscious.

"I hope they survived this. It looks so bad." The cop reported the team.

The car was destroyed, just a black mass laying on the side against the pole. It was hard to believe there was a human inside there. There were parts of it everywhere splattered on the street, proving the collision was violent.

"That driver must have come super fast. Jesus..." Bucky asserted, shaking his head.

Steve mentally wished the driver would be fine. It looked like there was no gas spilled so the driver could consider themselves very lucky. When they started getting closer, his bad feelings started to get worse. Steve unconsciously looked at Sam who seemed to have the same thoughts as him.

"I will check on the driver and then we can decide how we are going to take this person out," Natasha ordered and they all agreed. Steve knew exactly what that meant: if they were going to recover an injured person or possibly just a body.

Bucky helped Natasha get up into what seemed to be the passenger side and she turned on her flashlight, looking inside. For a moment, they couldn't see her head while she observed inside.

"Fuck..." Natasha cursed. That was strange. Natasha was their most experienced professional and the one that always kept her composure, no matter how bad things had gotten. When she lifted her head, her face had lost all color and her eyes went directly towards Sam and Steve. Bucky helped her get down.

"Lieutenant?" Sam wondered, giving a fast look in Steve's direction.

"There is no easy way to say this," Natasha murmured to herself, her eyes getting watery. Steve's heart was bumping against his chest as he waited for his Lieutenant to speak.

"Is the person alive or dead? Are you okay, Lieutenant?" Bucky questioned. They had never seen Natasha like this.

"It is (Y/N). It is (Y/N) inside that car." Natasha blurted.

Steve's heart stopped beating as his mind went blank. No, it couldn't be. Natasha had to be mistaken. You were safe and at home probably, where you were supposed to be. Safe and alive.

"Natasha, how-?" Bucky started asking, shocked when Sam ran to the car. He jumped to the passenger with no help, looking inside with his flashlight.

It was really you. He would recognize the face of his best friend anywhere. But it didn't look like you. Your head was bleeding. Your legs were bleeding. Your eyes were closed. Your body was immobile. Sam screamed your name once. Twice. You didn't move an inch.

"We have to get them out of here!" Sam's scream came in panic as his head raced with what needed to be done. They needed to get you out of there as soon as possible. He had to get you out of there.

Sam joined the others, Natasha still visibly shocked and Bucky looking between them, waiting for orders. The worse of them was Steve: he was frozen, his blue eyes focused on a random point. Sam knew there was no time for this. You needed them. All of them. He grabbed Steve by his neck and made him stare at his eyes.

"They need us, Rogers. Don't you dare to panic on this right now. We will take (Y/N) out of there."

Steve felt like he was slapped awake by Sam. He was right. You needed him more than ever now. Decided, he nodded. Natasha and Bucky, influenced by Sam's words, ran to the firetruck to grab the needed tools while Sam helped Steve to get up in the passenger side, to get a good look at you.

His eyes got teary as he saw your body. You were laying sideways, your face close to all the glass pieces on the floor. There was so much blood. You looked so hurt and small. He never thought he would have to see you like this in his line of duty. Steve wished he had super powers now: he wanted to rip off that door and take you away and cure you. Make sure nothing else could hurt you.

When Steve got down, Sam warned him Bucky and Natasha were already back. Steve cleaned his eyes, his body shaking with anger, sadness, and fear. In his very recent fireman career, he had never felt so weak before. He felt like he was 14 again when he couldn't protect himself from bullies, needing Bucky to save him. But this time it was even more serious, this was about someone he deeply loved and cared about.

Steve let his eyes wander to where the cops were keeping the bastard who hit you. He started to make his way there, his hands closed in fists. He just wanted the driver to feel a little bit of the pain you were feeling when Sam stood in his way.

"Rogers, don't you fucking dare! (Y/N) needs you now! Are you with us or not?"

"If they are dead, I swear to God, I will kill him," Steve promised, his tone low and dangerous.

"I know. We both will. But for now, let's focus on taking (Y/N) out of this car." Sam sounded serious and Steve knew he was telling the truth. He knew how much Sam loved you.

"ROGERS, WILSON! LESS TALKING!" It was Lieutenant Natasha now ordering now, her face red.

The plan was simple and they had done so many times: stabilize the car, locking it so it didn't turn while they were working on it. Remove the windshield to have access to you, place the neck brace, and check your vitals. Then pull the roof of the car, safely and slowly, using the rescue stretcher to safely remove your body, still held by the safety belt. Bucky had the neck brace ready which was the first thing they had to do when having access to your body. To not damage your spine, Steve thought, his heart heavy.

So they started working. Steve could feel Natasha stare at him and Sam at times. She had recovered faster from the shock of seeing your body and Sam as well, although Sam was as young as Steve in this. Steve let the adrenaline take over: he ignored all the noises, stares, and the presence of other people. There was just you and his team.

When stabilizing the car was done, it was time to cut the windshield. Sam did that part, carefully trying to not hurt you. As soon as the windshield came out, Bucky stepped in. He didn't look at the rest of the team as half of his body disappeared inside the car, checking for your vitals and putting on the neck brace, carefully. Steve was right behind him, observing nervously.

When Bucky exited the car, there was relief in his worried eyes.

"Still breathing and there is a pulse" Bucky stated. Natasha and Sam breath relieved, but Steve had to check for himself. Your body was cold. There was still breathing and a pulse but it was very weak.

"We need to get them out of here, now!" Steve roared. Natasha gave the hydraulic claw to his hands.

"You think you can do this, Steve?" Bucky inquired, unsure.

Steve nodded, without thinking twice. There was no more trace of fear or apprehensiveness on him anymore. His sole focus was on taking you out of there as fast as he could. Without hurting you.

-x-

The whole process didn't take him too long. After Steve was done cutting the roof, it didn't fall to the ground. The roof was supposed to stay in, to help them. Sam and Natasha put the board inside, adjusting your body to directly lay on it.

As they laid the roof down slowly, your body came down with it, laying to your side. Steve and Sam rushed to bring your body out, bending your knees and keeping your feet together. Steve's mind was racing to carry you out straight to the ambulance, but he kept his mind focused.

EMS rolled in with their stretcher and your body was carefully placed in there, still laying to your side. They rushed to cover your body with an aluminum blanket and rolled out of way in direction of their ambulance. Steve rushed to your side but before he could get inside the ambulance, the doctors closed in on his face.

"They are taking them to the closest hospital, five miles away. Come on, we will drive you there!" Sam warned and they all ran back to the firetruck, Steve jumping at the passenger seat now. Natasha turned on the fire alarm, driving straight to the hospital.

Steve could only wish for the best now.

-x-

You opened your eyes and wanted to close them immediately. There was a bright light everywhere and pain. Your whole body was hurting, from your head to your feet. Especially at your ribs. There was a distant electronic beeping sound. The room got on focus and you didn't recognize where exactly you were.

It looked like a hospital room. What had happened? All you remembered was driving back late from work then nothing else. Trying to lift yourself up to observe the place better, you felt gentle hands taking you back to the bed.

"Hey hey, please don't do that. You will hurt yourself."

You looked at the person speaking and blinked a few times. It was your boyfriend Steve Rogers. Dressed in full uniform, except for the helmet. His face was dirty and he looked extremely worried at you.

"Steve?" You barely recognized your voice. It felt like you hadn't spoken in ages. You cleared your dry throat and tried again "What happened?"

"You were in a car accident last night."

A car accident? But how? What?

"We were called in. I was called in. We took you out of there."

The realization slowly kicked in. You didn't remember arriving home last night. You lifted your hands up and saw a bandage on them. It hurt every time you breathed and your head felt so heavy. You touched your head and felt bandages everywhere.

"You guys saved me?" Steve nodded. You looked behind him on a sofa where you find his protective helmet. Steve had dark circles under his eyes, his blonde hair a mess. You don't think Steve noticed or cared about that at the time. So different from the normal Steve Rogers you were used to seeing. The one with his hair always down and tidy, clean face.

Because this Steve had gone through hell. After being left in there by the rest of the crew (Sam made him promise he would send updates as soon as he knew), Steve waited for news about your situation. The doctors had come out for what seemed years later to let him know your condition was serious but stable. You had broken ribs, a concussion (they had to do more exams to check on that), one of your legs and your arm were broken, and some internal bleeding in your belly. They would keep you in the hospital for a night or two to be cautious and until the exams were ready.

After texting the group chat and calling Sam to confirm your condition was serious but stable, Sam told him he would be at the hospital as soon as his shift was done. Sam also informed him of Natasha's message not to worry, they could talk about Steve's shift later on. He rapidly turned off the call when a nurse said he was allowed in. Most eyes turned towards him as he walked on his way to your room. People probably wondering if there was a fire nearby.

When he saw you sleeping in your bed, Steve broke down. The nurse left him for privacy and Steve tried to hold back his tears, putting his hand over his mouth. That didn't work. He turned around not bearing to look at you in that hospital bed. Steve was trying to control himself as his sobs just got worse. His breath became rapid as his heart was beating faster than yours, according to the heartbeat machine. His body hunched over and Steve held his knees, the tears getting worse. He barely could breathe right now. What an embarrassment he was. He never got to stop being that weak teenager who cried when things got difficult. You laying down in that bed proved how worthless he truly was.

Steve looked at you over his shoulder again and remembered Sam's words "(Y/N) needs you." Steve closed his eyes, breathing in and out slowly. In and out with your healthy face in his mind. Your happy face. "(Y/N) wouldn't want to see him like this" a mix of Bucky and Sam's voices came into his head and he opened his eyes, feeling much calmer now. He took his helmet, throwing at a sofa nearby, grabbing a chair to sit near you. He had been awake the whole night, waiting for you to open your eyes.

"How long l have been out?" Your voice brought him back to the present.

"Five or six hours. Your family has been informed and they are on their way. Sam is appearing soon as well." Steve stated and you tried to nod, with no success.

"Am I gonna be okay? Did the doctors say anything?"

"They will keep you at night for observation due to a concussion you have. They expect full recovery from you, love." Steve answered, looking down. It was all his fault. If he only had taken you out of that car sooner.

Your hand appeared in his line of vision and Steve lifted his head up. You were crying, desperate for him to hold a part of you. Steve held your hand between his hands, kissing each one of your injured fingers.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry, (Y/N)." Steve mumbled, close to breaking down again.

"Thank you for saving me." You replied back, trying to clean some of the tears with your free hands. You wanted him to hug you, to hold you. You couldn't imagine what he had been through and just wanted to murmur that everything was okay, you both would be okay.

"If I lost you if somehow I didn't save you there, I-I don't know..." Steve confessed, holding your hand against his forehead, tears flowing down his eyes again.

"I am okay. You are okay, Steve." You comforted him between your sobs and without controlling himself, Steve got up from his chair, putting his arms over your shoulders.

It was really what you both needed at the moment. To embrace and to feel you were alive. You were going to be okay. You both were going to be okay.

Bonus:

Jerry got in the Emergency room later that afternoon with a bouquet in his hands. He had heard about your accident from a group message and felt he had to appear. Most of your co-workers had visited you already so he thought he had to show his face, show some sympathy and even cry a little bit if needed.

What surprised him was the number of firefighters in the waiting area. At first, he thought there was a fire going on in the hospital, but since he didn't see anyone screaming, running, or being evacuated, he asked for directions to your room.

What a nice boss he was, Jerry thought to himself. All he needed was a selfie with you in the hospital bed and it would make the directors see how benevolent and how much he cared for his employees.

Jerry knocked on the door and without waiting for any answer, opened it. Damn, you looked bad. He barely recognized with all the bandages around your head. You seemed to be asleep as well, so easy picture. Sitting by your side was a very tall and attractive fireman, with messed blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked as Jerry walked in.

"May I help you?"

Jerry noticed two other men, dressed in casual clothes. One was in the corner of the sofa, black hair, head against the sofa with his eyes closed. The other one was sitting on the edge of the sofa, behind the tall blonde one, his black eyes scanning Jerry up and down. All of those men were so attractive. You never told Jerry you had such sexy friends.

"Y-yes. Hi. My name is Jerry."

The two men waited.

"I am (Y/N)'s boss. I heard about the accident and decided to come to check on them. They don't look very well, so I brought flowers" Jerry announced, slowly getting close to the bed. There were flowers everywhere and get-well cards.

The tall blonde one was up from the chair before Jerry could get closer to the bed.

"I don't think you should be here, Jerry." The dark-eyed one said, getting up as well. Jerry gulped, confused.

"I-I don't know..."

"I don't know if it is your fault or not, Jerry." said the one that had his eyes closed. He lifted up his face from the sofa, his blue eyes piercing him with disgust " But everyone in this room has been kinda pissed off with the asshole that almost killed our friend. And since we can't take on him since he is in jail and (Y/N) was working late because of you, well..."

"It is not my fault this accident happened! I didn't make them work so late!" Jerry tried to justify and he didn't even know why. It wasn't his fault you have gotten yourself into an accident, anyway.

"You are lying. They had been working late because of you. (Y/N) woke up and told me about the project." The blonde tall one said, dangerously getting close to him.

Jerry's soul had instantly left his body. He felt his legs trembling as he had three pairs of angry eyes at him. He could try to run but what about those firefighters outside? It was clear they were there for you. He was screwed.

"It is not my fault, okay?! (Y/N) has been clumsy for so long, never looking where they are going. It was a matter of time before something like this would happen. If I lose my job Monday because of them, I will, I will..."

Jerry felt being pulled by his shirt and shoved against a wall, the bouquet falling to the ground. The tall blonde one was holding him there, staring at him as if he could kill him. Jerry's legs were trembling even more as he saw the other men get up. Oh, he was so freaking screwed. He closed his eyes, whimpering in fear.

"He isn't even worth it, Steve."

Steve held him there for a few more seconds, before letting him go. Jerry had to hold into the wall to not fall to the ground.

"Get the fuck out of here." Steve warned, his voice low. Then he turned away from Jerry, his attention going back to you.

Jerry didn't need to hear twice. He ran away from that hospital, cursing you and your extremely sexy friends mentally. When you got back to work, if you ever did, he had some questions to make you.

MASTERLIST | STEVE ROGERS MASTERLIST

If you want to be tagged on my taglist, just message me or send me an ask!

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hyper-pie · 2 years ago

Text

Different

Dustin Henderson x FEM!reader w ADHD and GAD

reader is the same age as Dustin

Ler: Dustin

Lee: reader

Warnings: Cussing, light tickles, Gentle teasing, mentions of being overwhelmed and confused, hurt comfort, angst a little bit, kissing, nicknames

length: long

AN: Self indulgent fic cause well i need this rn i love this man... the only man i would ever date. Also please be nice I know it is not the best but I tried

Ok lets get one thing straight, today sucked, and yesterday did too, and the day before yesterday... okay.... life sucks and all you could do is curl up listening to "you spin me right round" by dead or alive while crying yourself to sleep, your thoughts and worries tangling up stopping you from doing what was important. Your lack of concentration and worry were getting far too out of hand and you didn't know what to do.

The next day you couldn't take it anymore, the stress, anxiety and overthinking caused you to get intense with your friends and your boyfriend.

A few hours earlier.....

At lunch at the hellfire table

You are just sitting there eating your sandwich then realized that you have a assignment due the next day and you are late. The dark expression on your face was noticed by Dustin, the person who knows you best. still you were scared... this meant you had to cancel and you were terrified. Your leg began to vibrate, voice cracking as you spoke. "Uhm I-I-I cant make it to hellfire tonight..... I- have homework.." Your said with anxiety clearly in your voice. Everyone stared at you like you were insane accept Dustin who moved to rub your back "guys it isnt a big deal school is more important than some adventure game anyway her missing one session isnt a big deal"

the others arguments against Dustin's statements was what broke you. with Eddie sick you were his replacement dm and with school, anxiety, worry, feeling different, stress, homework and chores it was too fucking much,. "The session is cancelled and if you have a problem with that CONSULT WITH MY FUCKING NON EXISTANT THERAPIST!" You say raising your voice tears in your eyes. Dustin's face filled with worry and care everyone else seemed mad. The feeling set in and all you did was run you ran as fast as you can home to your confused but accepting mother.

A few hours later

You had just finished the last of your homework tears in you're eyes 'You spin me right round' by dead or alive playing threw your walkman when you hear a distant knock,with your mom out of the house,, you were quite paranoid so taking nervous footsteps you make your way to the door floor creaking under your feet nerves gaining, devouring you whole. When opening the door you find your boyfriend with a worried look on his face plushy in hand. Seeing the scared anxious lost look on your face told him everything he needed to know. "D-Dustin... I-i I am sorry I never meant to blow up at you guys they were just being asswholes and I felt worse and I feel so different I hate myself I am ugly I am Stu-" you were unable to Finnish your sentence as you were scooped up and carried outside with your bag and all stuff you may need. You said nothing, it was the plan for you to stay at the Henderson house when your mom was out of town.

On the walk any attempt at a word was quickly shushed in a soft gentle tone. Dustin reached up and ran his fingers through your hair even when you got to his house he was still holding you stroking his fingers through your hair making you melt.

he kept you there for a while before cradling you in his arms placing a sweet kiss at the top of you're head. "You wanna talk about whats been bothering you muffin?"

The air became thin as you tensed up your posture "hey hey hey You are okay. you are safe in my arms okay? " he says seeming serious and truthful. You nod and looked at him "I guess i feel d-different.......... and i feel like i am gonna fail at life... everyone looks at me... i feel so pathetic all the time and i am genuinely anxious almost all the time. i had a late assignment and i needed time to do it... i got it done and here we are" you ramble out worried you sounded stupid Dustin's expression didn't change as he kissed you're nose "well lucky for you you have a boyfriend who knows the secret ingredient that always makes you happy!'' he exclaims in a soft sweet tone "hm?... what would- theheeep! duhuhustin" you squeek quietly feeling gentle fingers tease your skin with light brutely slow strokes pulling snorts out of you like no tommorow. "yes muffin? did you need somthing?" he said suddenly moving to your tummy tracing his nails up and down every so gently pulling heavy soft giggles from your lips your face a slight shade of red "awwwwwh your face is all red! how precious" he teased turning you even redder, slowly moving from sides to tummy to sides to tummy slight teases being fired at certain times when the times were right. After a while he noticed that you had almost had enough but he knew he needed to do one thing before hand. he then stopped his teasy fingers targeting your midddle to move up and trace feather light shapes on your neck causing you to squeele softly scrunching up your shoulders him then ending his gentle attack by placing a gentle kiss on your tummy. pulling you close going back to stroking your hair. "You may be slightly different but that is a good thing muffin it would get boring if we were all copy's of each other.."

" Also They were being asswholes they deserved that alright?" he said reassuringly you nodded resting your head on his chest him stroking your hair making you feel like the luckiest girl in you world "I love you Y/N.." he says softly

"I love you too dustin"

#will stranger things #tickle community #sfw tickling community #stranger things tickle #stranger things season 4 #stranger things fic #comfort tickles #stranger things 4 #dustin stranger things #dustin x reader #dustin henderson imagine #dustin henderson #dustin henderson x reader #lee reader #ler!dustin #lee!reader #tickle fic #stranger things

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eijishimas · 4 years ago

Text

caught red handed.

18+ nsfw content. minors dni. all characters are aged up.

masterlist.

content warnings: f!reader, college!au, masturbation, mentions of alcohol, voyeurism, daddy kink, bit of a handjob, bit of oral (m!receiving), filming, slight degradation, creampie, one (1) instance of bakugou slapping your pussy.

notes: happy belated birthday to my bestie, @rekiri . you deserve the world and so much more, you’re sweet and hilarious and i fucking love talking to you, whether we’re joking or being more serious. i know you told me not to, but i really wanted to write something for you as a gift (because ya girl is a bit of a broke bitch). ik it’s not eren, kiri, or reki, but i hope you like this piece regardless. i love you, even if you annoy me to death, you whore /j. this one’s for you <3

wc: 2.6k | inspo (nsfw link): xxx

Everyone knew college was stressful. Deadlines nearly every single week, assignments and essays, not to mention attending classes brought a whole new wave of anxieties for students every single day. Sometimes that stress was either doubled or relieved by having a partner for a project or two. Luckily for you, you and your old high school classmate Katsuki Bakugou were paired up for a project for one of your Quirk Law classes. It was a research project, one that required a forty slide presentation. You were headed on your way to Katsuki’s dorm today to work on it at the time you agreed upon: 5pm. Then you two would study together for upcoming midterms. It was all planned out down to a tee. So at around 3:50pm, Katsuki knew he had time. He figured he needed a break from his Rescue Tactics Indoors II class, otherwise his brain would begin oozing from his ears.

Pushing aside his overpriced textbook, he rolled his shoulders back, hearing the cracks of his stiff muscles while he stretched at his desk. He let out a sigh, propping his chin up on the palm of his hand as he scrolled mindlessly through his socials. Mina had posted a Throwback Thursday post, an old one of him and you back in your freshman year of college. His nose twitched in annoyance as he recalled the parties, more specifically Denki Kaminari’s birthday party, where he had gotten so drunk that the walls melted and bent before him. Katsuki’s expression changed however, as he swiped through the collection of photos to stumble across an image of you and him. Have you always worn dresses that tight? You practically had your ass out from how short your garment had been cut, tits threatening to spill out of your low hanging neckline. Not only that, but Katsuki had an arm slung around your shoulder. His smile was stretched wide due in part to the alcohol in his system, but also because you were standing next to him. You were laughing at something Mina had said behind the camera, your hand tossed against the slightly unbuttoned shirt Katsuki had worn that night. Your fingers had brushed against his toned chest and he scoffed at the thought. Slowly but surely, memories of that party flooded back to Katsuki in waves.

They were mostly recounts from Kirishima and Mina, but apparently you two had made out in front of everyone that night. He swiped left again, swallowing dryly as he saw just that. Your manicured fingers were wrapped tight around his party shirt, tongues in a deadly dance of want and desperation for each other. Katsuki’s eyes grew as he noticed that the photo hadn’t cut out the part where he had been kneading your ass through that skimpy dress of yours. Immediately, Katsuki went to Mina’s dms demanding to take down the photo. And she did, thank god, but not without sending Katsuki more than ten photos of you and him making out at the party. He clenched his jaw, anger and a low desire plaguing his conscience. Glancing to the top left corner of his phone, he noted the time. 4:10pm.

He had time.

Saving the photos to his gallery, he pushed his chair away from his desk to have some fucking breathing room. His eyes flitted down to his sweats and as he expected, there was a tent forming. He groaned, wiping the sweat from his palms off on his pant leg before languidly beginning to palm himself through his clothes. His breaths quickened, chest stuttering as he looked to his phone displaying the photos of you and him. There’s a faint recollection in the back of his head of how you taste. Like cherries from your glossy lips, like vodka from the shots you took off of Denki earlier that evening, how you moaned into his mouth the night you had drunkenly kissed.

Katsuki tugged the waistband of his sweats down, allowing his previously constrained cock to breathe. It slapped against his stomach, heavy and leaking. Shit, he didn’t remember being this horny at the beginning of this. Spitting into his palm, he lubed up his dick as best as he could on short notice. His eyelids drooped as he swiped through the pictures like a filmstrip, a montage of all the best moments he had with you at that party. You grinding on his lap, you whispering dirty ideas you wanted to do with him later, you, you, you…

Katsuki squeezed his aching shaft, fisting his cock as precum dribbled down his slippery head. His face was an uncanny shade of crimson, a testament to how horny he was all for a few old pictures of the two of you. “Y/n.” He swore he barely recognized his voice from how breathless and needy it was. He continued to pump his cock, the only thoughts replaying in his mind were perverted fantasies of you bouncing on his dick hard enough to hear the slap of your ass cheeks against his abs.

Tapping the screen of his phone twice to zoom in, he admired your curves with pursed lips. Fuck, you really were gorgeous. Everything about you radiated a sinful nature he could never put his tongue on. You were tempting him, licking flames up his body with such intensity that made him shiver. He cursed, thumb drifting over his slit as he hissed. Fuck you for being as ravishing as you were that night, fuck you for making him feel so goddamn needy for your-

“Bakugou, I was about to text you but I remembered you were studying today, so I figured it would be okay if I came a bit...” your words trailed off. You blinked rapidly in an attempt to process the scene unfolding before you. Katsuki Bakugou, holding his dick in his hand, face on fire with a deep blush, his other free hand secure around his phone with- was that a picture of you from your freshman year of college? There was a beat of silence, Katsuki’s uneven breathing the only sound in the room aside from the low drawl of the ceiling fan over both of your heads. You gaped at him, tongue darting out to wet your lips upon realizing his hand hadn’t stopped moving. If anything, you saw his hand flex around his cock, further tightening his grip as you stood right in front of him.

“What the fuck-”

“What?” he beat you to the punch, his lips twitching into a devilish smile, “Don’t like what you see?” His confidence knocked the air out of you, your bewildered attitude showing true on your features. Your body feels warm, searing beneath his gaze. “Excuse me?” you squeaked out, overcome with both curiosity and a hint of lust for the ash blond.

“Are you gonna fucking help me or not?” His pride was refusing him to be flustered, not when he was this feverish for you. He needed the upper hand, he needed control over this situation. And it seemed by how you were shifting your weight from side to side, that it was happening just as he wanted. Who were you to refuse such an offer from Katsuki Bakugou?

And that’s how you ended up here, nestled between thick, muscled thighs with your hand wrapped around his throbbing cock. He had you spit over his dick, his entire shaft gleaming in all its glory as it stood to attention in your grasp. The flash of his camera burned your eyes as you suckled on his crown, hand continuously jerking his cock while he ravenously watched you through the screen. The guttural groan that escaped him was nothing short of music to your ears, your thighs tensing as the coils of heat continued to build and knot between your legs.

“Mm. Keep going like that, take it. All the way in now, like a good little slut,” Katsuki instructed, his voice slicing through the heavy atmosphere of desire. The words make you whimper, enveloping his sensitive head in vibrations while you lick around his slit. A large hand cupped your face, forcing you to make eye contact with the ash blond behind the camera. His black tank top truly had no confines over him, since it was tight enough to see the outlines of his pecs and ripped torso. Katsuki sure worked hard to maintain his appearance, but you knew he had the strength to back those muscles up. The thought of him completely dominating you, holding you with strong arms and pinning you down with his body made your pussy even more wet with your slick than it already was. Even from how you were on your knees, Katsuki possessed an unspoken will over you. You wanted to please him, make him feel good, make him have no good reason not to give you everything he had to offer.

You took your lips off of his head with a little ‘pop’, eyes wide and expectant as a string of drool connected your bottom lip to the tip of his cock. Bakugou’s smile grew, making sure your face was completely in frame and in focus. “Dirty girl,” he hummed, thumb tracing the apple of your cheek before guiding your lips toward his twitching cock. You slowly kissed the vein on the side of it, mumbling out four words:

“Your dirty girl, daddy.”

The moment the words left your mouth, Katsuki let out a low, gravelly moan. It was as if a switch inside him had flipped. Without warning, he’s pulling you off the floor and sitting you down in his desk chair instead. He’s a bit rough, his vision clouded by the sheer want to fuck you until you were screaming his name, until his name was the only word your pretty little brain could recall. He abandoned his phone and instead had his hands drop to the armrests of his desk chair, encasing your body as he towered over you. Your skirt was immediately shucked up your waist and Katsuki’s hands went to work on your panties. He ripped them off completely, tossing them aside without a care as to where they went. He gazed down at you with fervour, licking his lips at the sight of your dripping cunt.

“Who’s pussy is this?” he coaxes with a grin, teeth shining. His hand slipped between your thighs, his index and middle finger tracing up and down your slit. Goosebumps erupted across your skin, your thighs instinctively closing around his hand. Your face bloomed with warmth, eyes darting away from his cocky demeanour, “Baku—”

Your body jolted as a firm smack was delivered to your sensitive pussy, a wet, lewd sound meeting your ears as he did. It made a high pitched, whiny moan be pulled out from your throat.

Fuck.

“Try again,” he ordered, tone demanding and almost condescending. His lips ghosted yours yet he never had any intention of moving close enough to seal the gap between the two of you. You whimpered, eyes meeting the dark red irises that were staring straight through you.

“‘S yours, daddy.”

“Now that’s a good fuckin’ girl.”

His lips found yours, teeth tugging at your bottom lip hard enough to make the warmth in your stomach double. The liquid heat had been building ever since you walked in, and you were fairly certain that you weren’t going to last much longer.

He hooked your knees over his elbows, biceps flexing as the muscles in his arms supported your full weight. He picked you up with such ease, your arms flying around his neck as you squeal, gasping at how little effort that took him. He was a pro-hero in training, of course he had practiced lifting people up no matter their body type or size. Either way, it didn’t matter to him. He thought you looked rather angelic clinging onto him regardless. He wasn’t even breaking a sweat with his hands spreading your cheeks, grunting as he adjusted you in his arms. He slid slowly into your slick cunt inch by suffocating inch, your walls fluttering and enclosing around his throbbing cock. Katsuki’s breathing was unsteady, eyes watching your expression intently in hopes that this new position would give you as much pleasure as it was giving him. His ego was running rapant from how you were holding onto him for dear life. You were practically shaking in his grasp, mouth open in an ‘o’ shape as all you could do was gape at how deep he reaches within you. You were keening, eyes hazed with lust and nails digging crescents into his shoulder blades hard enough to make him hiss.

When you finally catch your breath and adjust to his size, you give him a curt nod as an indication for him to start moving. Slowly, he lifted you up off his cock until his head kissed your entrance before allowing gravity to do most of the work. This position had his cock nudging your cervix and it made the knot in the pit of your stomach squeeze further, threatening to snap with every loud smack of his balls echoing through his dorm room. He pistoned into you like that, reaching deeper to rearrange your insides. It was like your entire body was being engulfed with pleasure and fire. He took in your face, how it scrunched in pleasure, hair sticking to your face as you mumble out how much you want to cum, how much you need to cum.

“Fuckin’ tight just for daddy, hah?” he cooed to you, “You wanna cum all over my cock like a little slut? You were watching me from the door jerking off for you. Dirty fuckin’ girl. Who’s making you feel good? Say it. Spit it out.”

“You!” you moaned, your head feeling light from the way the veins on the side of his cock rubbed your walls, “You, daddy. Please let me cum. I w- wanna cum!”

“I can’t hear you,” Katsuki rumbled, eyes steeled before you unmoving and unwilling to give you permission just yet. “Please!” you begged, “I’m a dirty girl. I’m your dirty girl, daddy! Please let me cum!” You were too engrossed in your pleasure to have any semblance of shame. Katsuki grinned. That’s what he wanted to hear. He let out a tiny ‘tch’ before uttering out, “Then cum, slut.”

Without another word, you let out a final wanton moan, gushing around him as the liquid heat finally expels from your body. Your orgasm hits you in waves, your body quivering with each new sensation as you hold Katsuki’s cock within your cunt. Your nails leave angry red marks along Katsuki’s shoulders, ultimately sending him hurtling towards his own release.

Cum dripped down his twitching cock, your chest heaving as your legs feel like jelly. Tingles shot down your spine as Katsuki pumped rope after rope of his sticky cum well enough to paint your inner walls white. He helped you ride out your high, delivering harsh bitemarks to your neck to leave a mural of hickeys claiming you as his. The smile he gives you is cocky, prideful, and arrogant. He placed you back down on his desk chair, your thighs still going through the aftershocks of your high. Reaching for his phone, he tapped the app icon for his camera. He knelt down, chuckling as your fingers slid between your legs to spread your lower lips for him. His cum seeped out past your slit, leaking down to your puckered asshole.

“There we go. Aren’t you daddy’s good girl, hm?”

Tiredly, you nodded.

“‘M daddy’s good girl.”

tags:

@lonleyweeb77 @cynthus-no @lonelyheart-cluband @smhhyung @stoopidnekobish @kiridarling @kirislilrock @baku-deku1 @hajisuu @damnitcrowley @foruthemoon @peaxhcringe @justanotheruselessextra @izukuuarchive @katsuki-kitten @shokoarashi sorry i couldn’t tag all of you!

want to be on the taglist? see here.

#bnhacity #bnha smut #mha smut #bnha x reader smut #mha x reader smut #katsuki bakugou smut #katsuki bakugo smut #bakugou smut #bakugo smut #bakugo x reader smut #bakugou x reader smut #katsuki bakugou x reader smut #katsuki bakugo x reader smut #eijishimas.oneshots

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oftenderweapons · 3 years ago

Note

Hi!! I need to not forget to leave this idea with a trusted author so I’ve chosen to slide into ur asks w this very nsfw thing: Joon using a dick pump and vixen using a pussy pump. Simultaneously. Then having sex. That is all! I just wanted to share this with someone that could find use of it 😭

Hello, it's officially Joonsday and we're big time celebrating (sorry for the ugly banner I'm on a road trip with the fam) lessgooooooo

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (Vixen)

Wordcount: 3.5k words

Genre: smut? Pwp? Established relationship? Yes.

Warning: 18+ y'all better be adults if you're going to read this.

Trigger warnings: clearly, swearing, dick pump, pussy pump, vibrating cockring (it's becoming quite the thing for these two???) cumplay (he cums on her chest), creampie, unprotected sex (use CONDOMS PLEASE), DDLG (daddy) kink, making out, touch deprivation (? Kinda?), experimenting, mentions of oral, mentions of exhibitionism/voyeurism.

Here's my masterlist and enjoy ��✨

Beta read by the one and only super patient golden-hearted wife, @joheunsaram

******

It was past nine pm when Namjoon entered the apartment, his eyes immediately focusing on your frame curled up on the sofa, under your chunky knit blanket. He needed to get you a pet.

You loved Moni, but he couldn't have him at his place that often since he was more of his family's dog than his.

He should get you something fluffy. Something that matched your personality. Like a toy poodle. Or a corgi.

No, a corgi wasn't fluffy enough…

He was sure he would find something suitable in a shelter. Maybe a cat? Something to keep you company.

Tutting, he shook his head as his mind wandered, trying to distract him from the panic he had been going through only a couple minutes ago. He reminded himself his current anxiety was due to surprising you with an unexpected gift, so he realised that launching himself into planning another surprise — a permanent one — was maybe not the smartest move.

Kneeling beside you, he touched his lips to your temple. “Hello, Vixen,” he spoke gently, his private voice making your eyes open, your arm reaching out of the blanket to hold him to yourself.

“Hi, baby. Did you eat? Tell me they fed you.”

He smiled. “Yeah. I grabbed dinner with Yoongi in the studio.”

You nodded and nuzzled up closer, kissing his neck sensually. “Wake me up?”

He chuckled. “Needy, baby?”

You nodded and frowned. “I'm getting my period in two days. You know I get needy.”

His knowing smile shifted to a loving one. “I know.” He looked at your face for a couple seconds, just taking in every detail. The fullness of your lips and the slight blush on your cheeks, the way you looked puffy after sleep, so soft and delicate and all his.

Oh so his.

Not falling into your temptation was almost a crime. Especially as you stretched your neck, lips lingering just one millimeter away from his.

“Ask, love.” His voice was gravelly against your face.

You looked away and relaxed your shoulders, not realising you had arched up towards him. In return he chuckled and ran the tip of his nose against your cheek. “You don’t like asking, mh?” His lips were velvety against your cheekbone. “Poor little fox.” You turned just in time for his mouth to meet yours, letting him have your sweetest whimper as his hand cupped the back of your neck, holding you. “I have a question for you, babylove.”

You stopped and backed an inch, looking him in the eye. “What kind of question?”

He sat up straight. “It makes me a bit nervous because this is not how we do it normally and… I feel like I went someplace uncharted without you and I’m a bit disoriented.”

You sat up too, feeling the nerves in his tone as he started talking faster, stuttering over his words a little.

“I… We usually shop together but I wanted to try this and I thought… I mean, we don’t have to do this and we can do this alone, or together, or… Or not do this at all or you can use this while I’m away and you need—”

“Joon,” you interrupted him, a hand on his shoulder as you tried to calm him down. “Hold on a second, darling.”

He shut his mouth and took a deep breath through his nose.

“You were shopping, correct?” you asked, trying to find reason in madness. He nodded. “What did you get? Toys, I assume?”

“Yes,” he replied calmly.

“Okay. Show me and then we can talk this out if you’d like.” You knew Namjoon’s brain tended to go a thousand miles a second, so you tried to limit the damage.

He stood and came back with a large box and scissors, opening the package. “It’s kinda scary at the beginning but… I think the final result is not that bad.”

“If that’s a furry mask I’m gonna scream and not in a good way,” you joked, trying to ease away the tension.

“Come on, we discussed that already. Hard no. No shaming, though.”

“No shaming,” you repeated, watching him open the lid and take another box out. “Oh my god.”

He looked at you, trying to interpret your reaction. “Good? Bad? Maybe?”

“Why would you make it… bigger? How do you even think I can handle bigger?” You stared at the… the thing and tried to wrap your brain around that.

“It’s not about getting bigger, it’s about lasting more.”

“We have cockrings for that!” you exclaimed, almost outraged. If anything perplexed and worried. Was he trying to break you? Send you to the ER? Because you much preferred saving yourself the embarrassment. “You’re gonna break me.”

He nodded and put the box away. “Okay, sorry.” He wasn’t even disappointed. After all he did know you were a tight fit on him and no matter how much he would stretch you, there were high chances of you getting hurt, and he obviously didn’t want that.

“No, no hold on,” you said as you realised your first reaction had been fear. “We can do that. Just not… Let’s say we can use that but the final goal is not penetration.”

Namjoon nodded. “That’s what I was thinking too. Plus, we could use that ring for buffering.”

“Yes,” you agreed. “And that should make you feel like… Like I’m sucking all of you, right?”

Namjoon halted for a second. “I don’t know, but that wouldn’t be the point.” He still remembered that one time you had almost had a breakdown because you couldn’t take more than a couple inches of him in your mouth. Since then, he had set the lowest bar in your sex life: not making you cry because you couldn’t deepthroat him. Somehow he was still traumatised by the memory. “It’s just a matter of giving you multiples, Vixen. Just that, Or fucking you feral, however you prefer to put it.”

You nodded.

“Plus it’s more of a… joined fantasy, actually,” he confessed, blushing and looking down.

So there were more surprises in that box. “Define?”

He took one more box out of the larger one. “It looks scarier than it is. It’s also, sort of… convoluted.”

You stared at the second toy, arching an eyebrow at it. “I don’t like things that keep your hands off me.”

“I know,” he reassured you, immediately touching your knee as a way to comfort you. “I know it, babylove. But this doesn’t mean my hands won’t be touching your body.”

Absentmindedly you nodded. “You want to try those now?”

He tipped his head from side to side in a so-and-so motion. “Only if you want to. We can wait till you get more acquainted with the idea.”

You thought about it for a second. “Those… devices technically mean no foreplay.”

“Well, they do the foreplay while we…” He hadn’t thought that far.

“We’ll just make out,” you said, standing up and grabbing your half of the kit. “Let’s take them out and wash them.”

Namjoon grabbed the other half and followed you. In your bathroom, you took out the toys, quickly scanning the instructions while he threw himself at his new object of interest, grabbing the toy soap and lathering everything in foam. “No reading?”

“It’s pretty easy,” he replied, rubbing everything thoroughly before rinsing and drying the tube. “I’ll read while I wait for you.”

He let the toy dry on the ledge and undressed, by now barely shy about walking around naked as he entered the shower and scrubbed himself clean with quick, brief strokes. In a bunch of minutes, you were sitting on the bed, reading the instructions of his device before he rolled down beside you, a towel around his waist. You were lounging in your panties and one of his shirts, his face already skimming the side of your thigh. “Come down here, miss Fox. Studying won’t get you straight As in this one.”

You chuckled and grabbed some lube. “Will you allow me the honour?”

Namjoon licked his lip and undid his towel, arching an eyebrow as he realised he already had a semi.

“Is it for the toy or the ‘fucking the class’s best student’ fantasy?” you teased him, pouring some cold lubricant on him in revenge.

“It’s all about having the sexiest girlfriend in the universe,” he flattered you, his hand squeezing your ass as you straddled him and grabbed the toy.

“You know you’re crazy for this, right?”

He nodded. “That makes two of us since you’re playing along.”

“Suck your dick,” you replied, saccharine sweet as you placed his cock into the plastic tube of the penis pump.

“Not when you’re so much better at that,” he cooed back, hissing a little once you pressed the base against his pelvis excessively hard — call it revenge. You studied the mechanism for starting to increase the pressure inside the cylinder. “Okay, fuck, it’s hot. I love the lube. Slippery.”

You appreciated the feedback. “Tighter?”

“Nah, hold on. We can tighten it later.” He bit his lip. “It’s very good. But… A bit cold.”

You stretched to his face and pushed his hair back. “I’ll warm it up next time. Sorry baby.” You kissed his lips, pampering him a little. He had looked so stressed earlier. And so eager too. He had to be both worried and excited about this. “My big bear,” you murmured, watching him melt for you. After all he was nothing but a tough looking boy with a gooey heart. “You were so nervous about this, huh?”

He nodded and caught your hand, holding it in his. “I love you,” he said with his million dollar smile, his eyes dreamy, his dimple shining on his face.

“I love you too, Joonie bear,” you murmured at him, your affection causing him to slip into the most peaceful of states. Yes, he felt like his dick was being squeezed and sucked, but he mostly felt entirely enamoured with you.

“Please, can you wear the toy too?”

You smiled and nodded. “Would you like to help?”

He stretched to kiss you again. He wanted more kisses. It had been so long since the two of you just made out and he missed that sometimes, just the intimacy of laying side by side, making out without things necessarily heating up. Of course he also loved when you got on top of him mid-session and ground on his thigh until you crumbled against his shoulder.

He loved even more when your hand would graze his lower belly before tracing his erection through his trousers, cupping him and squeezing him until he needed your hand on his length.

But the idea of laying side by side and focusing solely on your face was something too inviting for that night.

He sat up, a bit uncomfortable at the thing between his legs. “This makes it kinda hard to move,” he realised before finding your pvc cup. “Get comfy, my love,” he murmured before kissing your knee, crawling lower. Your legs stayed closed as you placed your feet on his thighs before getting rid of your shirt, letting him stare at the hardened peaks of your breasts. “You're so fucking gorgeous,” he murmured, his hands tracing the outside of your thighs, his frame shifting and stretching until he could reach for your chest, his thumbs feeling your pebbled nipples.

That was before you put the sole of your foot around his neck, pushing him back a little.

He was mesmerised by the gesture, feeling his brain short circuit as arousal hit him.

Now that he was far enough, you lifted your legs and quickly got rid of your panties, Namjoon barely resisting the need to press his whole face against your folds.

“Feisty,” he murmured, placing the toy on you, checking for your reaction. “Does it fit right?”

You nodded. “I'm tiny, it takes a bit more than it should but that's okay as long as it doesn't come off.”

He started pumping some pressure, still looking at your face to spot any discomfort.

“I think that's tight enough for now.”

He nodded and laid down beside you. “You wanna watch porn?”

You thought about it for a second. “Nah.” You rolled to the side, only to feel the toy limit your comfort.

“Maybe a pillow will help?” he mused, passing it to you.

“It feels strange. Static. Dry… Aseptic.”

He nodded. “Not a great feeling.” He also placed a pillow between his knees before cupping the back of your head and scooting closer to you. “Hi,” he whispered, breaking into a large smile.

“Hi,” you whispered back, joining your lips.

You didn't know how long you kissed, only that his hands were everywhere, rubbing your back, on your ass, pulling you closer, then pushing you back a little as he tried to massage your breasts, next tightening the pressure on your pussy pump.

“This good?” he asked, his lips already kissing the sweet spot below your ear. It made you purr and try to throw your leg over his, realising a minute too late that you couldn’t grind on him.

You made a disappointed little sound, Namjoon’s hands cupping your face and smoothening the frown on your brow with his thumbs. “It’s okay, little fox. Focus on me, babylove.”

With the most vulnerable expression, you brushed your lips to his as the tip of your nose played with his, his face glowing with a sudden bright smile before he drew a line of tiny smooches from your forehead to your chin. “I know, baby.”

“I don’t like this,” you whined, hiding your face into his neck. “I can’t feel you.”

He held you closer. “Would you like to take it off?” His hands were skimming every inch of your naked skin, soothing you.

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” you mewled weakly, feeling ashamed of the statement.

“You’re not disappointing me, ____. We’re doing this to know if we like it, my angel.” He caressed your hair.

“I can do this, I just need to get used to the lack of touching.”

“I know it’s a delicate topic for you. You can take it off and grind on me if you want,” he reassured you.

You found his pump mechanism and asked, “Do you want it tighter?”

He hummed and nodded.

You didn’t last much longer after that, mostly because Namjoon knew he was tiptoeing around a soft limit of yours and he could feel you were already vulnerable. He knew a couple tears would come after your orgasm, your body too emotionally challenged for you not to release all the tension in crying.

“Let’s take this off,” he whispered into your ear, the pressure on him too tight, almost unbearable after fifteen minutes with the pump on, three of which on the highest setting. He would make a mess of you. He knew it already. “I'm gonna cum a lot,” he said with a half-embarrassed chuckle.

“Is that an issue?” you mused, blocking his hand as he tried to remove your pump. “I… I want you to cum on me.” It was easier to say after all this time. He was almost used to it. The following request however was unusual. “On my chest.”

He nodded. “Are you sure?”

“I want you to distract me. I want to keep the toy, just distract me from it.” You bat your lashes at him. “Please.”

In his mind, he had opposed your idea for maybe half a second. “Okay. But I want you to use your safeword if need be.”

After he ascertained you remembered it, he waited for your approval on him straddling your waist, your hands immediately touching him, starting from the base and pulling to the tip, a thick blob of precum helping you as both your palms started massaging him.

“You’re so damn good at this,” he praised you. “You’re such a good girl to me.”

You glowed at the compliment, starting to stroke him more powerfully. “Thank you, daddy.”

“You’re welcome, little one,” he replied sweetly before a grunt left his lips, his body waving a little before he propped himself up with one hand. “If you keep it up, I’ll be covering your tits in cum in seconds, Vixen.”

“Isn’t that our goal?” you asked with faux naivety, noticing the way he was starting to swell.

While you angled his cock downwards, to your stomach, he placed a hand under your jaw. He wouldn’t want your face to get accidentally dirty. That was the last conscious act he did before he felt his balls tighten a bit more than earlier, a strong spurt of his semen landing on your neck, the second one between your breasts, and then a third on your left breast, your nipple peaked and glazed in his cum as he slowly came down from an unstoppable high.

“Thank you, daddy,” you said again, truly thankful for the vision of him braced over you, completely ecstatic, head thrown back as he roared in pleasure, his throat beautifully exposed.

Too bad you couldn’t put your mouth on it.

It took him a full minute to come back to reality, and when he did, he inevitably noticed that he was still hard and you were still unbelievably horny right below him.

“Joon?” you called.

“Yes, Vixen?”

“Do you think you can slip your cock inside me and make me cum with a vibrator on my clit?” Your request was posed curtly, efficiently, almost as if you were asking him how a telescope works.

He rose from his half slumber at that. “Sure about the vibrator?”

You nodded. “The mild one, you know. The one from your ring.”

He thought about it for a millisecond before kissing your forehead. “You’re a blessing”. He thought it even more as a cascade of chuckles left your mouth. He took off your pump, a tiny bit distracted by the need to suck on your wet nipple, to draw a hickey where your neck had been stained by his orgasm. Next he slipped in, slowly, whimpering at the way your cunt was soaked and puffy and full. “You feel so fucking incredible?”

“Different from usual?” you wondered, a tiny gasp leaving your mouth as he settled.

“Just very sensitive. Like round three at six in the morning,” he explained, you humming in understanding.

“It feels a bit like that actually, now that I think of it.” You laid back while he pressed the tip of the vibrator to your chest, collecting some slickness before bringing the toy to your clit and switching it on.

Your reaction was immediate. “I am sensitive,” you exclaimed before squealing, your inner walls contracting and Namjoon shifting a little. It was the combo of fullness and clitoral stimulation that made you come apart in three minutes. And then again, five minutes later.

Namjoon was shocked. After the second orgasm, he just pulled out and wore the ring, fucking you in earnest. Your usually difficult third high rolled around like nothing, Namjoon reaching his climax together with you.

He thought he was done but apparently not yet, his back on the mattress while you ground on him, taking a pause from the vibrations before placing them on the highest setting and riding him, sliding back and forth. You knew he preferred it when you bounced, but his hands led you on a rolling motion until you collapsed forward, too exhausted to cry out, just shivering in his arms, trembling as your muscles succumbed in fatigue.

“Goodness,” you exhaled once all toys were out of the picture, your body laying on top of Namjoon’s while you slipped his cock back inside you, enjoying the easy connection coming from the gesture.

“What a night,” he agreed. You were both sticky and needed a shower, but first he needed to make sure you were okay emotionally. And cockwarming was specifically what you both needed. “How are you?”

“Tired,” you replied straight away. “Very fucking in love with you.”

“Language,” he reminded you before holding you closer. The shivering wasn’t stopping.

“Let’s take a bath, mh? You’re shivering. You need to relax.” He rubbed your back energetically before massaging your thighs. “You did amazing, babylove.” He cuddled you some more, staying quiet for a minute before asking, “Do you still not like the toys?”

You shrugged. “Can we talk about that later? I’m not ready yet,” you replied, still too biased about the experience to give judgement.

He nodded. “Sure thing, little fox. Come on, to the bathroom.”

“To the bathroom,” you agreed with a yawn.

Namjoon smiled. He loved aftercare baths. But he loved you more.

#kim namjoon x reader #Namjoon smut #Namjoon pwp #Namjoon fluff #Namjoon x vixen #bangtansorciere #houseofddaeng #thebtswritersclub #52hertz #thetruthuntoldnnet #Kim Namjoon fanfiction #kim namjoon scenario #Namjoon x Vixen

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siriusmydeer · 4 years ago

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can you please do headcanons for young sirius black x reader fic where reader has really bad anixety attacks where sometimes she feels nauseous

breathe with me

sirius black x gender neutral!reader

summary: sirius helps you through an anxiety attack.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: MENTIONS OF VOMITING!!, mentions of gagging, anxiety/anxiety attack, over stress, mentions of digging nails into your palms (borderline indications), mentions of failing school/exams, migraines, mentions of pain killers, mentions of feeling gross, possible insecurity, sirius comforting reader

a/n: so i turned this into a fic rather than hc’s because i felt like i could portray it better through a fic. also dedicated to isa ( @acosmis-t ) my love bc i cant write so thank u baby for helping me !

“Argh.” You piercingly groaned with a hand lowered to your febrile forehead, a feverish burn arising to the skin. The day had steadily been cut close to the final bell. Your Transfiguration exam had finally been completed and not without weary, of course. The prior nights you had been found asleep with drool pooling down your tear-tainted cheek and your talons promptly sunken into your palms as a desperate endeavour to relieve your stress. (Although it had not been the best choice, and at some points rather painful)

The piling books glared fiercely at you in the library till Madam Pince undoubtedly had to beckon you away, so you could sufficiently rest. Indeed then, your unconscious mind was piled in dreadful dreams (More-so nightmares) regarding critical failure and your pleaded requests to Mcgonagall, so you could re-attempt your failed exams.

Your polished nails had been essentially glued to your pearly teeth, chomping at the rarebit till there was nothing left to bite. The strums of your heart steadily increased as the last final students had cautiously worked on their assessments. You had patiently waited, subtly noticing your brawny throat becoming excessively dry as well as well as your diaphragm contracting by the minor second, an indistinguishable bile substance threatening to overtake the taste buds on your parched tongue.

A small, minuscule tap in the nape of your skull had increased to small needles swimming around your brain while the time ticked.

Sirius had been sitting in Charms flipping away at ‘Quidditch Through the Ages’ anxiously as he had to withhold himself from darting nervously out of his class and inquire how you were feeling with a knowing sense of how the rest of the day would take place. He had been made quite aware of your particular issue in the Third Year when you had disgorged your lunch, Shepherd's Pie that you had previously eaten had been hurled onto his Oxford’s his noble family spent a pretty penny to purchase.

At McGonagall's constructive dismissal, you had collected your materials and begun to walk cautiously through the corridors with your books clutched eagerly to your chest.

A slight increase in your breaths began to inflate your lungs and the steadily increasing heart strums became an overwhelming palpitation deafening your ears. Your heart had battered in your chest; nearing closer, and closer to your dormitory. Your hands had begun to develop a slight tremor at the anxious vibrations poisoning your blood, whilst your vision began to mildly obscure. You needed a moment to recollect yourself, a minute to breathe.

You had murmured a small, ‘Fairy Lights’ to the portrait before trudging up the stairs and colliding into the dormitory. The hinges had creaked whilst you abruptly had shut the door, luckily nobody was present to allegedly witness your exertion. Your bedroom had frequently remained tidy, a typical symptom of your anxiety that had obsessively pursued you to attempt your very hardest, even better than your very hardest, at everything and anything.

You had stood center in your room venturing for the hostile seizing in your bones to cease for at least a moment. Your chest had felt tight, like a tensed muscle that had been pulled after an unusually hard sport.

You had walked toward your window and back Window, and back. Window, and back. Again, Again and Again.

Your nails are placed between the mild edges of your teeth. The cavern of your mouth almost feeling obstructed by the bile mingling around with your parched throat. At the incessant pacing of your feet, there had been a remaining thud in your thick skull adding to your misery.

The small gust of wind was the singular audible sound in the dormitory as one of your dorm mates had abandoned it open. Your brain had felt like it swelled beyond generating capacity now your mild dehydration was too obvious to ignore like you had planned to do. You had deliberated with your eyes closed and your face contorted into a frown, you would’ve had to trudge to the kitchens for a possible amount of comfort in your state. You had groaned again, your hand promptly placed over your face, as you traipsed across the room, attempting to comfort yourself, in a sense.

Perhaps some painkillers spewed on the bathroom counter that you had previously taken before your exam could help you. Your neck had begun to sear in heat the hair that was almost clung to your nape, you raised your heavy eyelids halfway only for them to fall shut a twinging pain beginning to naturally arise behind your optics. You huffed with a minuscule gag, too much effort it would take to stroll around the school in the huffing state you were currently in, a migraine still revelling in your mind. Maybe later, you thought with a creased brow. You had heard the hinges creak again, incorrectly assuming one of your dorm mates had been back. Except your dorm mates didn’t possess the baritone of a burly male.

“Y/n” He whispered tenderly, attempting not to disturb your pacing.

“Not now.”

He had partaken notice to your mindful scratches against your neck, continuously pulling up the hair only for it to fall once more. You had paused for a moment with a tremor in your finger that was trapped between your teeth. A familiar distortion of torture wrapping around your throat like a snake that was threatening to suffocate you; your respires heavier and more frequent. He had begun speaking, a blubber of words escaping his trachea. Yet, all jumbled like alphabet soup in your brain between his dismembered sentences.

You suspired heavily in frustration, “Just— Shut up! Please.” You begged in exasperation. Still prying your hair from your neck, you stood frozen, discontentment building in your system.

He had noticed the black hair tie absentmindedly clung to his wrist whenever you had asked for one. Steadily walking towards your paused figure he had gathered your hair in the tie, your neck feeling the refreshing air against it; a slight relief applied against your skin. You promptly initiated to remove your robe, there was a warm discerning grip on your body overheating your arms as well as your midriff due to the uniform.

With a violent tremor in your fingers, you started grasping at the buttons, a mild frustration initiating at the fact you couldn’t pop them open due to the recurrent quiver in your digits. Sirius had removed your hands from your robe, hastily unbuttoning it before you hurled it aside.

“How 'bout we go to the bathroom, Hmm?” He cooed while beckoning you into the bathroom, noticing the tremor in your body as well as your fidgeting fingers that were twiddling between each other. He had turned the sink on, switching the handle left where a blue spot differentiated the colours. Delicately, he grasped your trembling wrists and ran them beneath the cooling water. “Just… Feel gross.”You murmured to yourself as he ran a few fingers under the downpour, placing his frigid fingers behind your neck.

Your shoulders faintly shrugged at the sensation while he turned off the water and let your hands air dry, helping you not feel solidified by anything. During his movement, you had grasped onto his fingers where a few heirloom rings had fit snugly on his fingers, “Tell me about them.” This was a technique he had created in an effort of distraction at the uprising feelings of disgust for yourself bound to erupt at any moment.

“There’s a B, I guess. Erm, engraving, swirls and stuff…” You trailed off while attempting to decipher the designs in the ring that was on his forefinger.“S’too much! Just wanna— Dunno, not feel like this anymore!”

He had partaken scrutiny to your physical tics as well as your body language, with a faint clutch on two of your fingers he had hauled you to the very center of your dormitory. Within a few inches of each other, he had mauled your hand over his sternum. You felt the heavy respires in his chest as well as the vibrations melding with your palm as he spoke, “Breathe with me.”

You had stood there, minutes, maybe almost an hour, time was now pushed to the very nooks and crannies of your mind. The surges of perturbation still prominently surging through your veins to the density of your bones, the recurrent tremble still foremost notable but the buckling of your knees had calmed down as well as the faint chatter of your teeth. Still copying his sluggish breathing, you looked deep into his pear irises, his optics having a settling effect, a tingling reassurance reflecting in them. In the sunlight state that had remained in your room due to the unclosed curtains, there had been cerulean hues caught in that state.

Sirius’ eyes had been crafted like delicate feathers that were used for quills, not the albino kind of dove feathers, but the ones with a hue so softly grey that they could have been pencil-drawn rather than used by a quill with smeared stygian ink. They had that look of birds flying on sunlit days, the shine and quick movement, yet relaxed, purposeful, at ease.

“Can we sit?” You questioned quietly after removing your hand from his chest, hesitantly grabbing onto two of his fingers as he had previously done with you. “Anything you want.” He replied in a murmur, craning his head left, then right, trying to figure out where to beckon you into a seated position.

You had sat upon the wooden floor. The flooring designs similar to a chorus of browns; they sang together, an acapella of baritone hues that rose into vibrant soprano notes. It was a fitting place for a dormitory where laughter could normally be discerned, a place for those new sounds to soak right in and join the spirit that was already there when you had first entered the dormitory your first year.

“Here?”

“Mhm.” You nodded your head scarcely as he sat next to you. You sighed for a moment, placing a minimal amount of your temple against his shoulder, feeling the similar respires soothe you. “Here.”

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