#I was supposed to write the email yesterday
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whump-it-like-its-hot · 1 year ago
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People who say just don’t allow yourself to use your phone/do fun stuff until you finish the difficult task! severely underestimate my ability to sit in the same place unmoving and do literally nothing for hours to end just so I don’t have to face the difficult task
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the-everqueen · 4 months ago
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the degree to which i want to just tell my "mentor," You win. i'm burned out, i'm tired, i don't feel capable, i don't think my work is actually doing anything useful for the field, i want to be done, the dream of being able to do good work in a hostile place for the others like me, who were meant to never get here--that's no longer a dream because i'm not sure it's actually possible. i quit. it was stupid of me to think for almost a decade that maybe i could carve out a space.
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quatregats · 8 months ago
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Why do I feel like I have a hangover
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musicaldeductions · 10 months ago
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*claws my way out of a months long, very severe depressive episode with nothing but boops and as many free silly plugins I can load into logic as possible*
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ikeasharksss · 1 year ago
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facing the horrors (applying for summer stuff)
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astrxealis · 1 year ago
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finally actually working towards fixing my blogs lol 💪
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lokinas · 5 months ago
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The software i made as my end of diploma project has just stopped working 5 days before it's due... imma just go kms real quick 🙃
If it was just the software i had to turn in i would just crunch it until it's repaired but im actually in the middle of my big 30+ page final report and i still need like half my test results EXCEPT I DON'T HAVE A WORKING SOFTWARE TO TEST ANYMORE!!! FUUUUUUUCK
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illdothehotvoice · 1 year ago
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Damn all I wanna do is sleep but my day is fucking packed
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roosterforme · 3 months ago
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Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 27 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Although Bradley wasn't usually one for big gestures, he supposed he was when it came to you. Now he wanted the wife and the wedding and the honeymoon and all of it. Preferably sooner than later.
Warnings: fluff, adult language, smut, 18+
Length: 3000 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader
Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist
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Bradley had never been a big gesture kind of guy. He never really saw the point in it. He always figured it was easier to tell how much someone cared about you through their day-to-day interactions instead of the occasional over the top displays. 
He knew Natasha had his back by the way she simply helped him prepare for tonight by taking you out for drinks without asking too many questions. And he hoped she knew that the steady friendship he built with her was strong even though their birthday steak dinners and weekend morning runs weren't flashy. He felt similarly about Maverick, thankful that he knew where he stood with him once again without having to prove it.
But Bradley wanted you to know that he was going to love you forever by the way he treated you when you were alone together, and by the way he couldn't help but occasionally show off his romantic side. He knew you didn't need words written in the sky when he would prefer to pour his heart out to you in letters and emails, but he didn't want to simply propose by handing you his mother's ring either.
That's why he got your students to fold up the paper planes. Because he just couldn't help but both ask you to marry him and show you how much those letters changed his life at the same time.
"Bradley?" Your voice was breathy as he watched your eyes flick to the wall and then back to his face. "Paper planes?"
He smiled. "It's all the letters you and your class sent to me. You know... when you were looking for a Naval aviator to write back and answer a few questions? I guess a few questions turned into a lot more than that. And a simple correspondence with a gorgeous fourth grade teacher soon made me realize that you're the woman of my dreams. My pen pals changed my whole life." He gestured toward the wall. "Your students helped me fold them up yesterday."
"They did?" you whispered as he closed the distance to you before getting down on one knee.
"They did," he confirmed, looking up at your beautiful face as tears filled your eyes. "I love you. And I have something for you, Gorgeous." He swallowed hard. "It was my mom's." He held up the engagement ring that he remembered from his childhood but thought had been long ago buried with Carole. "I want you to have it. Unless you don't like it. It's from 1984, and it's definitely vintage, so I won't be upset if you tell me you'd rather have something more modern. Maverick was holding onto her engagement ring for safekeeping." He knew he was rambling, but now that it was time to say the most important words, his nerves were taking over. "I had no idea until he heard me talking about how desperately I want to marry you."
"Bradley," you gasped, chest rising and falling rapidly with emotion as a tear streaked down your cheek. "Are you serious?"
He was serious. He was in love. He wanted this forever. "Will you marry me?"
You didn't make him wait long to see your beautiful smile and hear your calming voice. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you, Bradley."
You started to drop down to your knees, and he caught you along the way as your lips met his. He could feel you everywhere. Your arms around his neck were familiar, and so was your soft laughter and your kisses. But your words promising forever were new.
"I love you, Gorgeous," he swore between kisses. "I fucking love you, Baby."
"I love you, too," you whispered, cupping his face in both of your hands and kissing him. 
Bradley realized he was holding the ring tight in his hand and loosened his grip so you could really take a look. "Let me put it on your finger? Make it official?"
You nodded in excitement, and then Bradley had to blindly slide it into place as you kissed him relentlessly.
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Each of the paper planes taped to the wall was familiar to you. After so many months, you could tell which of your students had written the notes based on the handwriting. As you ran your fingers along the letters, you recognized your own handwriting there as well. The flickering candle light shone on the paper planes as well as the ring on your finger.
This was all so romantic. You never dreamed you'd be so thoroughly loved, but here you were with Bradley's lips on the side of your neck as he stood behind you, letting you inspect the message he hung up on the wall.
MARRY ME?
"In an abundance of detail, please explain to me how you managed to get my students to fold all of these up during Career Day without me noticing."
His deep rumble of laughter sent goosebumps along your skin. "You have to know by now who my regular accomplice is."
You spun around in his arms and kissed him as his big hands settled low on your hips. "Natasha can't be trusted," you whispered, gently running your fingers through his hair. "She's too loyal to you. But I know your strategy now."
"That's okay. I don't need her to be sneaky on my behalf anymore. Proposing to you was my main objective."
"Bradley," you whispered, smiling so much your face hurt. You examined the ring as you dragged your fingers through his hair. Part of you was still surprised by how the evening turned out, but he had been promising you from the very start that he was serious about you. "Bradley, you just gave me your mom's ring."
"Yeah," he grunted, running his nose along your cheek and ear. His breath was warm against your skin as he said, "We can pick out something else if you don't like it. The diamond is pretty small, because my parents got married when they were twenty-four. I think that's all my dad could afford, and-"
You silenced him with your lips on his. "It's perfect. Like you. I don't want anything else. Or anyone else."
Those big hands were on your butt now, and his body was snug up against yours as he kissed you so hard, you moaned. The living room smelled like all of the different candles at one time, and the lighting was kind of magical. And you realized you were engaged to the man you started to fall in love with before you even kissed him for the first time.
As soon as you took one small step toward the bedroom, Bradley followed your lead. You could tell he was excited as he scooped you up into his arms, and you kept yourself snug against him as he grew harder for you. Just as you ran your lips along his scars while he carried you through the bedroom doorway, his stomach growled so loudly, you started to laugh.
"You didn't eat dinner," you whispered, kissing him softly, trying to hold back the desire you felt.
"Baby, I have a whole plan," he replied, all smiles as you nipped at his lips until you landed on your back on the bed. "Dinner at Salvatore's is happening, but not until I fuck my fiancée."
You whined softly as he dragged your leggings slowly down, and you arched your back so he could remove your shirt. Then you watched him struggle to get undressed with his erection as you touched yourself. "You're taking me out for an engagement dinner?" you asked, running your fingers between your breasts and down your belly. He stumbled out of his jeans, eyes fixed on your body as you circled your clit with your middle finger.
"Well... maybe not," he grunted. "I should have thought this through a little better. Now I just want to keep you in bed."
The words were taken from your mouth and turned into a moan as he spread your legs apart and kissed you where you were touching yourself. "Bradley." Your fingers went to his hair as he teased and kissed his way up your body, letting you taste yourself on his lips and mustache.
"I love you, Gorgeous," he crooned, guiding the tip of his cock through your wetness until you were clenching with need. When you were ready for him, all you had to do was roll your hips up. When you were ready for more, he filled you up and didn't stop until you came.
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"I should probably just try to get us a standing reservation," Bradley murmured, making you laugh as you were led to your table at Salvatore's. The two of you just finished a bottle of the overpriced wine you liked so much at the bar, and now you were looking up at him like you'd rather just go back home for round two of engagement sex instead of dinner. But he knew he wouldn't make it to that point until he ate something.
"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, grinning as you sat down when the waiter pulled out your chair.
As soon as you and he were both seated, you asked, "How exactly would you like me to look at my future husband?"
Your words left him a little breathless as he reached for your left hand which now displayed the ring that told everyone else you were going to be his wife. He couldn't stop touching you, and you were just as bad as your legs tangled with his beneath the table. "Maybe we should have made sandwiches at home."
Even mentioning food out loud made his stomach growl louder as he inhaled the delicious scent of pasta. "We'll be back home soon," you told him. "In the meantime, while we take a break from our engagement sex marathon, why don't we talk about our summer wedding?"
Bradley nodded as he laced his fingers with yours. "You know, I always wanted to try running a marathon, but I think I like this type even better."
"You can use the sex marathon as part of your training regimen."
The smile on his lips wasn't going to go away anytime soon. Maybe it was the same smile that had been there since the first time he looked at your photo. "Are you really going to agree to a summer wedding?"
"You told my students that's what you wanted," you replied immediately. 
"I owe your kiddos so much. If they didn't think I was cool as hell, I'd have gotten nowhere with their teacher. We should invite them to our wedding."
You laughed as Bradley waved down the waiter and ordered three entrees. He was still holding your hand as he told the guy, "And you may as well just bring some to-go containers out along with the food. We've been engaged for about two hours, so I'm getting a little antsy to get back home again. I'm sure you can understand."
"Congratulations," he murmured as you cradled your forehead in your right hand.
"Bradley," you half groaned and half laughed.
"What?" he replied, downing half of his glass of water. "He took one look at you and knows exactly why I can't wait to go home. Now can we talk more about wedding plans?"
You looked beyond amused and very pleased with yourself as you asked, "Do you really want a summer wedding?"
"Absolutely, Gorgeous Girl," he confirmed. "This year. Please don't make me wait."
You bit your lip for a few seconds before you said, "It's already February. That doesn't give us a lot of time. Unless..." Then the waiter returned with some bread, and you asked him, "Do you have a catering menu?"
He nodded. "I'll bring one out with your food and the containers."
Now you were the one tugging on Bradley's hand. "I have a great idea! What if we don't really have a wedding at all?"
His face fell as his lips parted silently. None of this really mattered before he met you, but now that he was here, he could clearly picture the day in his mind. "Baby, I want us to have a wedding day. A white dress and my uniform and flowers and wedding photos and all that shit."
"Bradley," you whispered, wrenching your hand free so you could drag your chair closer to his at the small table. Your palm was on his cheek, tilting his face so you could kiss him while you stroked his scars. "I didn't mean it like that." You kissed him again. "You give me these butterflies, and I swear I can't handle it," you whispered, running your nose along the side of his. "What if we have a simple wedding where we can invite my students? We can still do the dress and the uniform and as many photos as we want. But I think I know the best spot where we can have it all. And then we could go big on our honeymoon."
The wedding, the fourth graders, the honeymoon, the wife. Now he was smiling again. "Tell me more, Gorgeous. In an abundance of detail."
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If anyone saw the two of you, it would have been comical. It was dark out, and you were holding the bag of food containers and trying to unlock the door while Bradley held onto you.
"I think it's a little bit early to be carrying me into the house like this. Pretty sure that's for after the wedding."
"You can't blame me for being excited."
You pushed the door open, and even in the nearly dark house, you could still see the paper airplanes on the wall spelling out his proposal. "Are we keeping that romantic display where it is?" you asked as Bradley took you to the kitchen.
He glanced back over his shoulder. "For now. But I don't want them to get faded or anything like that. I'll flatten the letters out again eventually and find somewhere to store them."
You gasped as you unpacked the food containers and found something at the bottom of the bag. "They gave us an entire cheesecake!" It said Congratulations written in chocolate, and you bounced around in place as Bradley's arm wrapped around you. "That was so sweet of them."
He chuckled and whispered, "They know what they're doing. They have a loyal customer in my wife who always orders the expensive wine."
His fingertips brushed your neck before you felt his mustache there. "You already know I ordered it by accident the first time," you gasped as he sucked gently on the sensitive spot below your ear. "And I'm not your wife yet."
"Based on our tentative plans, you will be in a few short months," he murmured. "Now why don't we put the food away and go back to bed until Monday morning?"
"Monday morning?" you moaned. "You feeling ambitious?"
Bradley practically threw the food into the refrigerator. "My belly is full, you look hot, we're getting married, and we can take a break for cheesecake in a few hours. So yes, I'm feeling very ambitious, Gorgeous."
Your smile was coy, and your voice was low. "A few hours without a break?"
Bradley kissed your parted lips before tasting your tongue. "I want to get some practice in before our honeymoon. Isn't Paris the city of sex?" he asked with a smirk.
"The city of love!" you said, bursting into laughter as he hauled you toward the bedroom again.
"We'll make it both. I want to practice both."
It was always both when you were with him. He was sexy and sweet, his voice close to your ear as you had each other for the third time today. You already knew that all it took was the diamond on your finger to make you go a little wilder for each other. A deployment that ended with an engagement ring? You never wanted this feeling to stop.
The diamond sparkled on your finger as you tugged at his hair. He was so methodical with you. There was a sweet precision to everything he did which felt like the embodiment of his written letters. His voice was familiar and raw with emotion next to your ear as he filled you in every way. His lips were everywhere, praising you and drawing out your orgasm. Calling you the love of his life. 
"I need this forever, Gorgeous," he panted, fucking you harder. "I need you."
You were clinging to him, kissing his scars as you came. Then the two of you snuggled in bed and discussed your plans for the perfect wedding. 
Although there were more breaks for food and the cheesecake, he did in fact keep you very busy until Monday morning. You went to work exhausted, but you made a quick stop to ask your school administrator if your wedding idea was even feasible. The answer surprised you. Then you got yourself settled in your classroom where eighteen kids soon arrived, and Violet set off a ripple effect as soon as she gasped and asked, "Did Lieutenant Bradshaw give you a wedding ring?"
Jayden and Nia both came running over to your desk to see it. Henry shouted, "She got married! Knew it!" Jackie screamed into her hands about how the magical paper planes worked, and you had to stand and try to calm everyone down.
"I didn't get married! Yet. But Lieutenant Bradshaw asked me to marry him this summer, and I said yes, so I guess the magical paper airplanes did work."
Your classroom erupted into cheers and shouting as you smiled. Thank goodness you went out on a limb and decided to write to a US Naval Aviator. Thank goodness it was Bradley who answered. 
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Wedding and honeymoon up next? Then the epilogue? We're almost there! Anyone think they know where they'll have their wedding? Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 28
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cdelphiki · 1 month ago
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I submitted my final project yesterday, and took my final exam today, and now I'm officially done with this stupid class and this stupid certificate forever. Lmao. Stay tuned for my rant about how frustrating this experience has been for me, if you want:
I'm so annoyed with this class, because the professor was so frustrating. She didn't grade a single thing I did all semester until FINALS WEEK. She also didn't open up the instructions for the final project until she told me I was done with it (we had teams meetings so she was just verbally telling me what to do). She told me that the instructions for writing the abstract are in the project module, and I was like... what project module? When she finally opened the module and I was able to actually read it, I found that my final project she had just approved as being ready to submit didn't meet the minimum requirements? And when I asked about it she said "yes those are the minimums." LADY? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? YOU JUST SAID MY PROJECT WAS DONE??? It was 5pm on Friday, the last day of finals week when she did this, BY THE WAY. I had been working on the project all week, I'd put, like, 30 hours into this damn project already. And she couldn't have been early on like "hey there's a project module" so I could have even KNOWN there was supposed to be a module I couldn't see? This is after all semester long I was emailing her asking 'where is this reading, where is this lab' etc etc because she just simply didn't upload stuff or release it as the syllabus stated she would. I had to ask her for things weekly that should have just been there in the course material. Oh yeah, and those instructions for an abstract? Not in the project module. I just wrote an abstract how I think it should be. Then her exams she writes are just.... she really needs to use grammarly. Some of her exam questions made ZERO sense, because it just wasn't proper English. English is her second language, so I understand why it happened and do not judge that, but I do not find it acceptable when this is a graduate level class, in English, and you mark me wrong if I don't answer the question correctly? Just run the question through grammarly. The final exam had instructions that were like 'for essay questions write a response between 75 and 100 words, this is open book, you can talk to your classmates but your answer must be your own," and that was the instructions. Then 20 of 26 questions just had a single word as the question? Like, what do you want me to do with this? Define it? Explain it? Give an example of it? All of the above? None of the above? And she had one question that I SWEAR said "give three (4) examples of...." like?????????? and another question said "name the three types of...." but there are FIVE types of that thing?
Anyway I went to eviscerate her in the course eval and learned it closed yesterday but I wasn't done with the class yesterday so I was waiting. Oh well. My complaints will be kept to myself. She has strong suits. She's very nice, and when she actually responds to my messages (oh yeah she ghosted me the first half of this last week, when I was working on the project. I was submitting drafts to her via email like she asked me to do and she just simply didn't respond until Wednesday.) she's pretty helpful. I also DID learn a lot in her courses, and in this program overall.
The entire certificate program is sorely lacking, tbh. The first professor I had was also my advisor, and he would just flat up not respond to my emails. I don't think I'm too needy, I tend to get my work done on my own. I asked him the answer to a final question after the final was due and grades were posted, and he didn't reply to me. Like, okay dude. That's kind of rude. It's your job to teach me and I think I'm doing well by actually trying to learn what the correct answer is after the fact? Whatever. The second two classes were this same lady twice, and all my complaints about this semester can be applied to last semester, too.
Overall, I'm very glad my work paid for me to attend these classes and it was not coming out of my pocket, because if I was paying as much as work paid for this, I would have been in the dean's inbox every single semester with my issues lmao. I WILL be a Karen if it's warranted. Not grading *any* of my work until after the semester is over is unacceptable, not providing material on time is unacceptable, having exams that are indecipherable is unacceptable, etc etc. The list goes on. I didn't get my midterm grade until the final exam was open to take, also. If I as a student am expected to keep up with deadlines, my professor, as the professor, should also be expected to keep up with deadlines. (all within reason and with allowances for true problems, ofc)
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kcalsforhim · 1 month ago
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˖⋆࿐໋ saturday 21st of december
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i woke up very late yesterday i remember it… and i didn’t do much of anything either. i stayed in bed all day getting to enjoy my days off finally… its winter break… finally… finally !!!
i seriously didn’t do much, like im so fr… i didn’t even leave my house haha… i originally intended to clean my room this day but i had no energy
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i weighed in one last time untill i would try to go really long without weighing in cause ;; i haven’t been so consistent and i haven’t been doing so well… soo… yeah 48.3… lets see a lower number next time. i banned myself from online shopping untill i get to my next goal sigh 😭 i think i also got paid today or the day before so i sent a salty email to whoever was harassing me about some bills i still owed
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omad (somehow) :
5 chevape ! lots of zucchini, like a lot of them.. onion for my chevape but.. i didn’t eat much of that. garlic sauce for my chevape. my side was some mashed potatoes
a very flat square of brownie i made out of some package.. i think i fucked it up cause it was so flat
cals : 448
chevape was yummy, i actually went down and helped my mom with cooking, idk why.. she was frying the zucchini and i was making the mashed potatoes and brownie. i barely added butter and milk, just enough for it to form, so i felt pretty safe eating it. i also helped my mom yield the zucchini better since they were way too oily..
the brownie was very good, nice and sweet and tasted good…
after this a while later i ended up crying cauuuuse my dad bought me a lot of muller milk, i don’t know if you know what that is, but it’s basically a very good milkshake kind of drink… i used to really love it when i was fat, maybe 1-2 of those drinks DAILY, i loved it so much. i have not had it in forever and if i do crave something like this i’d rather buy a protein shake of the same flavour
i cried cause i couldn’t have it and i was so triggered and i just cried a lot untill i felt better, but im glad i didn’t end up having it straight up. im still proud of myself for not caving in… we have like 5 guys what am i even supposed to do with that ??? lmao
i hung out with eli after dinner we just called and talked about ocs and i started coding one of the profiles for one of them and i made some quick art for him… i slept really bad at night tho, i get so overstimulated recently ? i can’t explain it.. i need some kind of stimulation detox atp cause im on the phone so much and i just need to clear my head…
also ! i keep forgetting, but thank you for all the followers ! by now im above 50, maybe somewhere around 70 people tuning in… i have a lot of followers on twt (about 900…)so im used to it there, but on here it feels more personal since this is basically my diary… thank you to alll the people tuning in daily to read what i write <3 i appreciate it so much
total cals : 448
total steps : n.v.t
music that reminds me of oc i talked about a second ago ehe
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bisexualbrainrots · 2 months ago
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Okay so I didn't expect to be so inspired by this post (plus my tags), but hey, what a hiatus does to someone right? @unfuckablebogtroll thanks for the inspo!
So, here's a snippet of whatever this will be (haven't finished outlining the whole story yet) also I know nothing about how social workers work in the us, so i just did a lot of google searches to write this, let's suspend our disbelief lmao:
“I’m here to inform you that from now on your son, Scott Howards, is going to be legally put under your care and will be moved into your residency, we have made an extensive background check…”
Buck wasn’t really paying attention anymore, two words running through his mind.
Your son.
Your son. 
“What do you mean son?” he had just interrupted the social worker and yet, she didn’t seem so taken aback by his clear state of shock.
“We tried to contact you these past few days, didn’t you receive our calls and email?” 
That made him immediately go back and look for his phone, quickly checking everything as he went back to the front door.
Three missed calls and an email sent yesterday. They weren’t wrong, but why did it feel like they were?
“Okay… but I don’t know anything about a kid, wh-who is the mother and why am I supposed to keep him now?” 
Tara explained it all, as quickly as she could, while still keeping a soothing tone in her voice. She clearly had experience in working with situations like this one, or at least some similar, based on how calmly she explained that the mother, some woman named Jessica Howards, passed away a couple of weeks ago and that there was no immediate family that could take care of Scott. The grandparents had passed away two years ago and Jessica didn’t have any siblings that could take care of the kid, so the next (or first really) on the list had to be the biological father.
Evan Buckley was a mess. Nothing in his brain was really computing, not even when the social worker told him about the boy, a six and a half year old kid who despite being named Scott, everyone just called Scotty.
“I-I…” 
“I’m sorry but, how did you find Evan? And where exactly is the kid now?” Tommy had taken the lead, something he knew by now to do whenever Buck’s brain was being useless. He held his hand, rubbing his thumb against some of the knuckles in an effort of grounding Buck, which worked slowly.
“We found a letter in her belongings, it was apparently never sent but dated back to 2018, probably around the time Jessica found out she was pregnant. We also had to do some digging based on the information and found his social media which, well, led us to this moment” she sounded exhausted, it probably took them a lot of hours to even find who Evan was, it was something Tommy could respect, that level of dedication. “And Scotty… he’s actually here, I brought him in the car, you don’t have to worry about much since he had a nap today and we explained all of this to him as best as we could. He also has his own blanket and favorite toy with him, it’s been really helpful to calm him down”
Tara mentioned the documents she had in hand and that seemed to snap something in the couple’s heads. They’d been so shocked at the news they didn’t notice the bundle of papers she carried. Tara once again explained everything thoroughly, that those were all the legalities Buck had to sign in order to be granted guardianship of Scotty, and asked if they could get inside to sign papers and let the boy inside the house.
Tommy nodded and took the lead again, telling Buck to get inside with Tara while he would check on the kid. Tara agreed, stepping inside with Buck who guided her towards the dining table, while Tommy stepped into the social worker’s car.
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falling-star-cygnus · 6 months ago
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If you're still looking for billy angst ideas I got something what if he got heavily injured got close to powering off and muttered something like "I don't wanna die." Or something like that
Or he actually did die/power off but by some miracle powered on again and then insert everyone's reactions
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE -> the way i shot up out of my bed and ran to my computer to write this is genuinely insane considering my athleticism abilities [which is to say none]
i don't get a lot of asks, so when i do it always makes me kick my lil feetsies
TRIGGER WARNINGS: robot dismemberment, murder [implied], brief suicide idealization [doesn't finish the thought], kidnapping [i don't write it but he's clearly not there willingly], dehumanization [referring to Billy as an 'it' in a derogatory sense]
"Nicole."
She chokes on nothing but air and nearly drops her phone in the process. What the hell, why did Anby feel the need to do this her. Appearing from the shadows like some sort of cheesy apparition was only funny when other people got spooked! She'd been texting the Proxy!
Anby, at least, waits for her older sister to settle down again before continuing:
"Where's Billy?"
Why would I know!? Nicole narrows her eyes at the smaller girl, pursing her lips in thinly veiled indignance. It wasn't her job to track her teammate's whereabouts off of missions. Or even on missions. They were capable people.
"Huh? I don't know. Why?"
Something about Anby's appearance throws her off.
Her white bangs are looser, tickling her chin and shoulder and out of that itty bitty braid that kept it out of her face. Come to think of it, Nicole hadn't seen her with that braid since yesterday morning...
Weird.
"I wanted him to redo my hair," she answers, placid as ever as she rolls the little green cap between her fingers, "Nekomata hasn't seen him either."
"Oh- Well, I can redo it for you, Anb-" "No thanks, I know how to do it."
Nicole can feel a vein twitching somewhere in her forehead. She loved her sister, she loved her sister, she loved her sister, she loved-
"Then why ask."
There's a sort of tentative silence that follows as the smaller girl fidgets, almost suffocating and sticky and wrong- Anby was uneasy about something... and that never boded well.
"...he's been sad lately. Like a dog that can't go outside when it rains."
Odd comparison, but I suppose it's fitting.
Nicole hadn't noticed anything particularly different about the android. He had been a little less energetic, maybe, more content to just... sit quietly in the company of the other Hares..
Oh god, he'd totally been acting like a sad dog.
"I thought doing my hair again might cheer him up," Anby continues, like she hadn't just made the older Demara feel slightly guilty for not noticing sooner. They all lived together.
"When was the last time you saw him?" Nicole decides to ask, despite the cloying sense of dread settling in her stomach like cement. "Did he go somewhere recently?"
A voice throws in her two cents in her other ear, "I saw him heading out yesterday, around 12!"
"Ack- Nekomata!"
Why was everyone trying to give her a heart attack today!?
"Oops.. Sorry, Nicole! But Billy promised he'd bring me back mackerel! And then he never came back."
"Billy wouldn't break a promise."
The sword wielder says it matter-of-factly, in the same tone she would use to insist that a boss theme was about to play. Or like how someone would say the sky is blue.
She wasn't wrong, though, Billy didn't break promises. Not the ones he makes to them.
An awful feeling of impending doom washes over the three.
Nicole clears her throat. Time to be the boss:
"Let's think about this, did he mention where he was going at all? Or when he'd be back?"
They all check their messages. Nothing.
Call history. Blank.
…emails? All spam.
Of course.
Don't panic, Nicole reminds herself, He could just be... hanging with Wise! Or that wolf guy.. uh.. Von something?
Anby was getting antsier with each failed clue, her fingers twitching and curling into intermittent fists by her sides. Nekomata was trying to act unaffected, but her ears were tilted back just slightly too far.
"Urgh... OK!" the two smallest members of the Hares jolt at the sudden exclamation, but the boss is too busy dialing Billy's cell number to care, "if he won't come to us, we'll go to him!"
The number rings, and rings, and rings- the android always answered on the fifth- and rings, and rings, and-
Click.
"Well, well~ You sure called faster than I expected. Has it even been 24 hours yet?"
That... was not Billy.
-><-. . .-><-
He didn't know how this happened.
Or- scratch that, he did, but... why? He thought-
"I thought we were friends," the android shouts to the retreating figure, his arms captured by two giant mechanical palms "Really? I mean- seriously? Oh, that's hilarious. And sad." Billy can feel his energy draining, but he doesn't go quick enough to miss the final parting words. "You're the least missed Hare, man, and the cat's only been there a week."
Was that.. true?
No. Nekomata had- Nicole cared- Anby would miss..
him.
Would they? He was still trying to formally befriend the Thiren girl, Anby could do her own hair now, and the Boss- would she even notice?
If he wasn't so sure coming online would cause a spike of pain to ram through his throat, he'd shake the thought away. Nicole would notice! At mission time... probably. Or when she needed him.
How long would that be, though?
Unfortunately, Billy's not allowed to spiral any further when an insistent tap-tap-tap scratches at his face plate. He fizzles into painful consciousness with a groan-
With a groan.
With-
...why wasn't he making any noise?
Any attempts made to speak- to vocalize this awful sparking in his throat- end in silence. Billy 's eyes widen, and from his peripheral he can catch the odd glimpse of wiring sticking out under his chin.
...No- no, no, no- no no.
Raucous laughter breaches his sensors, and suddenly his face is pulled up to see the same man that had betrayed him- grinning and amused.
"What's the matter, android," he jeers, releasing his face to drop something on the ground, "Cat got your tongue?"
That 'something' bounces once before landing in a sizzling, unassuming lump right before Billy's glitching eyes.
...his voice box.
-><- . . . -><-
Anby snatches the phone out of Nicole's hand.
"Where's Billy," she demands, shocking the other two Hares silent
She can't bring herself to care at the moment, the way rage is boiling under her skin. Her voice has never been particularly emotive, neither has her face, this she knew intrinsically. A fact of her life that she didn't care to fix.
But Billy was her friend.
Billy understood her. He did her hair whenever she asked, tried to protect her when she didn't need it- not because he didn't think Anby was capable but because he wanted to. Billy explained things she didn't want to, gave her an in to conversations-
"You really care about this thing?" "Billy's not a thing. Where is he." Anby would not ask a third time.
The voice on the other end snickers, amused for some unfathomable reason. And it's like Nicole can sense her impending neurosis, because she pries her phone out of the smaller girl's hand.
"We won't ask again," she emphasizes, fully in Boss mode now, "Why do you have Billy's phone?"
"Calm your tits, ladies."
Nekomata hastily pries the phone out Nicole's hand before it can be crushed.
"What I mean is- relax! Look.. if it'll make you feel better, I'll return it to you. Er- it's parts anyway. Hah!"
It. He was calling Billy... an it.
Something dark poisons the room.
"Just kidding! Anyway- Keep better track of your things, Hares! Finders keepers, you know?"
Click.
...
"Anby. Nekomata."
The girls stand at attention, awaiting the instructions sure to follow their stormy faced Boss.
"We're going to Random Play."
-><- . . . -><-
...everything hurt.
His throat, what was left of his right arm, what was left of his left leg, his torso where red wire hung out like streamers.. The traitor- because it brought some sort of vindicative relief to call his tormentor that- hadn't been joking about selling him for parts. At all.
Pieces of prior 'conversations' looped themselves over and over again like a broken record- a snake eating it's own tail- and at this point Billy couldn't tell if it was his own busted thoughts or if the man had taken his mind too.
"Wow~ an android with a pain threshold.. that's rare. You can feel all of this then?" Billy, of course, couldn't answer with any more than a twitch as pliers hacked away at his wiring. "Bet we'll get a pretty penny off you then."
"I don't really get the point of androids, you know? This tech could be so much better utilized for prosthetics."
"Called your buddies earlier." That had sparked the most reaction out of him so far, that got him to raise his head with worried eyes. "Oh-ho! What'd you get excited for? They're not looking for you."
His voice box still sat on the ground in front of him, mocking as it hissed out sparks from time to time. At least that could still make a sound.
Were the Hares... really not coming for him? Would there be anything left to find if they did?
Billy could hardly open his eyes as it was, even if the Hares could find him in this Hollow- would they even want him around if he couldn't do anything?
Maybe... it would be better if he just-
The metal doors screech open again.
-><- . . . -><-
The tacky feeling of blood, whether caked under her nails or smeared over her cheek, would normally bother her.
This she wears as a badge of honor.
They had been lucky, all things considered, to have connections to the former Phaethon siblings. It still took too long, in Anby's opinion, but Belle and Wise had found the seller that had listed- for a lack of better phrasing- Billy's parts.
"'Ethically sourced' my fine ass!" Nicole had shouted at the monitor, barely restraining herself from grabbing it and shaking.
Anby flicks her blade to the side, watching disinterestedly as blood splatters against the scorched pavement.
"Alright, you guys," Belle- in Eous' body- piped up, "Billy should be behind this door."
What's left of him, goes painfully unsaid.
None of them want to open the door, not when it could confirm a truth they've blatantly ignored the possibility of. Billy could be nothing but wires and lost data behind these doors.
Schrödinger's Android.
Anby takes the plunge and shoulders the creaky metal open.
At first, she's worried that they had the wrong warehouse. The inside is dark- quiet- and she can't immediately see anything with the rubble blocking the way further inside.
That was fine, Nekomata was the only Hare that could marginally compete with her in speed anyway. Sooner than she could really blink- or think about it- the smaller Demara finds herself atop the rubble pile.
There he is.
Billy is in the center of the warehouse, powered off and forced to his remaining knee by robot palms clamped around what's left of his limbs. The wires in his torso hang out like entrails, frayed and stripped at the ends and wrong.
Anby trips over herself to get to him, uncharacteristically uncoordinated as she finally- finally reunites with the android.
"Billy," she breathes out, watery and insistent as she presses her bloodied hands to his cold face, "Billy, wake up. We're here."
Please wake up, please don't let this be for nothing-
Familiar, warm, yellow eyes finally flicker open. It's a struggle, both to watch and to experience probably, as the Hares' big brother reluctantly comes back online.
Reluctantly. Billy shouldn't be reluctant.
There's no talking, no glitchy recall of her name, not even a whisper of pain- or any sound- as his eyes widen disbelievingly at her. Billy shouldn't be quiet.
This was wrong.
Something sparks in the corner of Anby's eye, and the realization that comes with it makes her wish she had done more than dull her blade. Billy's voice box, crudely ripped out and left in plain sight...
"Anby, did you find him?"
The android's warm yellow eyes somehow widen even further at the sound of Nicole's voice and Nekomata's footsteps. When the two come into view, the faceplate under the smaller Demara's hands trembles.
Anby recounts what she learned, making sure to keep her hands on Billy at all times as the reunited Hares' get their metal teammate free. Obviously, he can't walk- he can barely support himself- and they should really wait to celebrate until they're out of the Hollow, but...
"Billlly," Nicole all but sobs as she pulls the android into a hug he can't reciprocate, "you idiot. We were worried sick about you! You're never leaving the base without telling one of us ever again!"
Nekomata joins in from behind, wrapping her thin arms with exceeding amounts of care around Billy's torn neck. She doesn't say anything, but the way the Thiren girl buries her face into his synthetic hair says enough.
Anby hadn't re-braided her fringe since noting his disappearance and the loose hair sticks uncomfortably to the blood on her cheek as she bullies her way under his remaining arm. Belle stands off just slightly to the side, touched by the family reunion but unwilling to interfere with the tender moment.
The Cunning Hares' had missed their resident big brother deeply; now that he was back, they weren't ever letting him go again.
AND THERE SHE IS!! FINITO, EL FIN, FINIE! sorry if the ending was kinda rushed, but i hope you enjoyed! lmk what you thought and, of course, if there's anything else you want to see me write or elaborate on!
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drurrito · 1 year ago
Text
I wrote this fairly quickly bc my crim prof is painfully hot and I am suffering as a result. All mistakes are mine.
Pairings: LawStudent!Reader x LawProfessor!Wanda
Warnings: like one cuss word lol -- reader's age is not specified and neither is Wanda's at this point -- if you want to be a K-thru-JD, be my guest.
----------------
You’re staring at the heavy wooden door in front of you. Your eyes trace over the markings, this building is your favorite on campus because of the architecture. It was once a grand library in the late 1800s and now it holds most of your 1L classes. It’s also home to the office of your Criminal Law Professor whom you’re supposed to be meeting with in a few seconds.
You let out a long exhale as you stare at your watch. You try to ignore how sweaty your palm is as you clench your hand into a fist to knock on the door.
“Come in,” your professor’s voice is calm, with no hint as to why you were summoned to her office in the first place. It came through an email yesterday afternoon after class. You blinked at your screen while your friends teased you about being in trouble. 
Are you in trouble?
You step into her office and she’s sitting at her desk writing something down. 
“You wanted to see me, Professor Maximoff?”
“Yes,” she sets down her pen, “can I get you anything? Water? Tea?” She gives you a warm smile that would normally disarm anyone but it only makes you stiffen with nerves.
“No thank you, professor. I’m good.”
“Sure," she leans back in her chair and gives you a serious look that makes you flinch, "what did you think of the lesson yesterday? Any questions?”
Did she really call me in here to talk about yesterday’s lesson?
“No, professor, none that I can think of. Inchoate crimes seem pretty straightforward,” you nervously nod and her lips twitch into a smile.
“I look forward to reading your analysis on it for tomorrow’s discussion board then.”
“I’m just about done with it,” you breathe, it was the truth. You know you won’t see your class ranking until after your first year of law school but it seems to already be obvious to everyone that you’re top of the class. It’s not by luck, you've always had to work harder than everyone else to get where you needed to be. It does help that you’ve wanted to go to law school since you were a child. Now that you’re here, everything just clicks.
“Y/N,” Profesor Maximoff’s voice makes your eyes snap to hers. Her usually bright shade of hazel eyes are now much, much darker.  
“You’re a good student, you know that right?"
That makes you clear your throat, “thank you, professor, I’m just trying to make the most of this opportunity — it’s pretty busy at times.”
“You must be too busy to realize how you come across as well.”
“I’m sorry?” You have to ask to make sure you heard her correctly. 
“You realize this is the first time you’ve held eye contact with me for more than three seconds?" She crosses her arms and that makes you tense even more.
“You’ve been counting?”
“At some point, yes. It’s like clockwork," she unfolds one arm to frame her face and you can't help but appreciate her jawline and the perfectly manicured finger that's tapping away at her cheek.
You have to look away and take a breath. You feel like an idiot for having such obvious tells. Of course, if Sam and Bucky can clock your nervous habits, Professor Maximoff can too.
“You don’t let your eyes land on me for too long, they bounce around the room a lot, like right now.”
Your eyes fall on her again, but this time you make it a point to hold it for as long as you can physically bear it.
“I’m sorry, Professor. I’m not rude, just shy at times. I can see how that comes off as standoffish.”
“It’s okay,” she gives you a nod with a smile. It’s the same combo she gives during her lectures. You only know this because you’re its number-one fan. Your jaw reflexively drops but you quickly pick it back up before she notices.
“You know,” she slides out of her plush leather chair and saunters out from behind her desk, “at first I did think you were just rude.”
She shrugs for a beat before stepping closer to you, “but then I think about how often you hold the door for me.”
And closer.
“And how you say ‘good morning’ or ‘good afternoon’ whenever you pass me on campus.”
And closer.
“Now, it all makes sense.”
Your cheeks begin to burn, you want to step back to give her space but she’s already a breath away from you by the time your brain can form the idea.
“Y/n.”
“Yes, professor?”
“Do you like me?”
Fuck.
She asks it so innocently you almost forget where you are. You're not two people casually exploring each other's fascination with one another. You're not on some kind of date, she’s your professor and you’re just a 1L. She watches your throat squirm as you swallow. Your mouth is now bone dry. 
“I…it’s--just a little crush, yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, professor,” you respond so quickly and she hums in praise. Something pulls deep in your belly but you don’t have any time to figure out what it is before Professor Maximoff speaks again.
“Just a little?”
She leans impossibly closer to you. Your eyes don’t have a single corner to escape to, your breathing is shallow and sporadic. 
“Yeah.”
She doesn’t correct you this time and you can’t help but feel a heavy pang of want. You watch a smirk stretch across her face and you feel like prey that’s about to fall victim to--
“That’ll be all, y/n—please close the door on your way out.”
She backs away before you do, turning on her heel to sit at her desk just the way you found her.
You stand there dumbly nodding for a moment. She subtly raises an eyebrow in your direction and that’s when your limbs begin to move towards the door. You quietly shut the door behind you before slumping against it, air filling your lungs once again. You shake off whatever you're feeling and head home, still trying to wrap your head around what just happened. 
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asumofwords · 1 year ago
Text
Smoke, Fire and Ash
Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence, death, forced marriage, and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on.
This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.
Summary: You are the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen. You are forced to navigate the difficult surroundings of your upbringing and the eventual disintegration between your family and the Hightower's relationship. What will happen when your older and estranged uncle suddenly takes a more sinister interest in you? (Dark!Aemond x Reader)
Masterlist
Characters: Aemond Targaryen X Reader, HOTD characters.
Note: Hello my babies!!!! Holy fuck. Wow. I actually can't believe it. I may or not be crying a lil bit because here we are. Here is the final chapter of Smoke, Fire and Ash (besides the Epilogue that is coming tomorrow!). I really can't believe it. This has been such an insane journey to be on. I started writing this fic for my best friend, just emailing her updates, and then she convinced me to post online, so in January (thats how long this thing has been going lol) I started posting with you all!!!
I really cannot thank you guys enough for all the continuous love and support you have given me with this fic. All the memes and laughs and theories and messages, I have absolutely adored talking to you all and getting to share this with you! ARGHHH. I could say so much more, but I shant.... nay.... I wont. haha, so again, thank you all so much, and I hope that when the Epilogue is posted tomorrow, that we can all close this story together neatly! Can't wait to keep writing new stories for you all.
ENJOY! <3
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FINAL CHAPTER 109: Through Smoke, Fire and Ash 
There was no singular way to describe how you were feeling. 
No singular way to explain the confusion of grief and both elation that swirled within you. You supposed, this was how Rhaenyra must have felt when she had her hasty coronation on Dragonstone. 
How does one see the light when they are shrouded in so much darkness? 
How is one supposed to smile through all the losses?
Because the shadows outweighed it all, much heavier than the Conquerors Crown you had worn, the weight of the world sitting atop your shoulders and spine, pushing down on your vertebrae with a force that could buckle your knees. One wrong shift and the fragility of your bones and muscle may cause it to crack, collapsing beneath you.
It had been days and yet, it still felt as though it was yesterday when you had driven your dagger into his neck. You could still feel the way it had felt when it pushed through his muscles and tendons, how his body had resisted it. How he had tensed beneath you jolting, how his eye had opened wide in pain and shock.
How he had looked at you.
How it had smelt, the iron of the blood on your hands, your body, in your hair.
All of it.
And at times, during those days that passed you, you would wake in a cold sweat, drenched in perspiration as you dreamt of doing it over and over. Dreamt of watching the light fade from his eyes. Dreamt of the smell, the blood.
And each time you would wake, tears falling down your cheeks and heart rattling against your ribs, your eyes would fall to your hands and a small cry of horror would leave your lips.
Each time, your hands were covered in his blood.
The first few nights that it happened, you would race to the basin beside the bed, desperate to wash the blood away, clawing at your skin with your nails as you scrubbed them raw, sobbing loudly in the chambers.
And each time, Ser Darke at your door would alert the Queen, and Rhaenyra would rush to your chambers in her nightgown, gripping your hands as they dripped with water, not blood, and would whisper to you that it was okay, that it was over, that you were clean.
Each time she would pull you away from the basin, hands raw and sometimes bleeding from your own nails, and would take you to bed, laying down first to clutch your head against her chest as she would hold you, and you would sob.
But after the eighth night of your new and horrifying routine, you woke and looked at your hands.
Blood again.
But this time you did not scream, this time you did not race to the basin to try and wash it away. This time you sat up against the back of the bed and stared at your hands until the sun had risen into the sky, and the maids came to get you ready for the day.
And it was much the same.
For many days after.
You would dine with your family, and there he would be, in the corner of your eye watching you.
Always watching you.
And each time that his shadow would catch your eye, you would know to not react when your eyes would catch glance of your hands, covered in his blood once more.
As though he was punishing you.
Your mother and father, if you suspected that she had told him, were the only ones to know about your crumbling stability. But as the days passed, and almost a moon had turned, it got better.
Easier.
You could now look at your hands without recoiling, and some nights you would not dream of him. Some nights you would not dream at all, and would sleep the entire night through.
And when you did wake up, the smell of blood beneath your nose, you would hold your stomach, the smallest of swells beginning to show, and soothe the skin with your palm, hushing the babe inside of you as you whispered to yourself that it was all okay.
But by the time the moon had turned, you had begun to make your peace with it. Begun to understand that this was your penance for such horrors. That this would be your atonement for what you had done.
A punishment that you would not deny.
This morning however, was different.
Today you would put on a brave face for the realm, not just for your family, who treated you with with such exceptional kindness and patience that it often brought you to tears.
Today the mask of impassivity, the mask of strength and triumph would be slipped over your face for all to see. As was your duty. As was always your duty.
Saria and Aella brushed their gentle hands into your hair as they braided it back against your skull in intricate twists and weaves that lifted it from the nape of your neck completely, whilst Joanna and Amala tended to tightening your gown at the back. 
Your reunion with your two maids had been a tearful event, but smiles were shared after all eyes were red and raw from broken sobs and shared stories, minor tales of survival.
You held your hands at your front, observing yourself in the vanity of your old chambers, unwilling to enter Aemond’s again, not knowing if the stench of blood and memory of the past would be the last thread to be pulled, and your crumbling resolve would snap, and you would be lost to madness like Helaena had been, the weight of it all sinking you into the ground.
The necklace in your hands had warmed in your palms and fingertips, as you pressed the pad of your thumb into the chain, feeling each ridge of the Valyrian steel beneath it, using it to ground you, attempting to count each notch in the chain to help quell the rising tide within.
When Saria and Aella finished their braiding, they moved to place the headpiece atop your hair.
It had been old, far older than you or your parents.
The Valyrian steel had been a relic, a thick band that wrapped around your skull like a crown, that then had four similar bands that smoothed over the top of your scalp, meeting at the top of your head. 
Pressed into the Valyrian steel were round and square cut rubies, and dragon glass all the way along its surface, glimmering in the light, with small coils of gold that were nestled between each jewell. Three emeralds were newly laid amongst the rest, one at each point at your temple, and the last at the back of your head.
It was not heavy like the Conquerors Crown, but it had a weight to it, pressing down onto your head as the girls adjusted it to fit. Adjusted it to look weightless. But there was the invisible weight of it too, and that squeezed at your ribs causing you to be breathless. 
Saria moved to stand in front of you, looking at the chain that you held in your palm.
“Your Grace, might I?” She asked, a hand reaching out to offer to put the necklace on.
You nodded at her and gave her a small, yet stiff smile as she took it from your grasp, watching yourself in the mirror as she came to move behind you, hands fiddling with the clasp as she draped it across your neck. 
The gown you wore was the last piece Aemond had made for you, and one you had not worn yet. But today you would. Today you would carry him with you as you took yourself down to the throne room. 
It was a deep red, almost the colour of blood when it would begin to dry, with gold and black dragons and flames embroidered at the cuffs of your wrists, making their way up your forearm. The bodice of the dress was tight, and in its centre, a gold, beaded dragon, marked with black shivering beads that looked like scales.
A homage to the first dragon you had claimed, and lost. 
From each shoulder, sat a large golden clasp, holding a set of three chains that hung across the neck. But they were not usual chains, instead, they were made to look like stems from a rose bush, pointed thorns all around its length, sharp and menacing.
Placed atop the gown by the help of Joanna and Amala sat the black and gold cloak your mother had worn many years ago for her coronation. It still smelt of her.
Saria finished clasping the necklace at the back of your neck, and stepped back, all the maids looking over you one last time to ensure that you were perfect.
They deduced that you were.
From behind you in the mirror, you could see the figure of Jacaerys as he entered your chambers, adorned in a vision of red and black, the colours of your House.
You spun to look at him, his eyes roaming over your body with the softest of smiles on his lips. His hair had been brushed back and away from his face, curly brown locks tucked behind his ears by small falling braids, gold clasps at their ends to hold them together.
“You were born for this.” He whispered, stepping towards you to take your hands in his, “Are you ready?” His thumbs brushed against your knuckles softly as he watched you.
You swallowed. 
Were you ready?
Would you ever be?
No.
But you had to be.
“Yes.” You lied.
His large calloused hand moved to cup your face before pressing a kiss to your cheek lovingly, a habit that he had inherited from your mother, and something that he no doubt pressed against Baela’s furrowed brows and cheeks when needed.
Jacaerys' gaze dropped to your neck, and then back to your face as he blinked but said nothing, instead offering an arm to you to walk down together.
Resting against your neck, warmed by gentle hands that had held it, atop the cloak for all to see, was the necklace that Aemond had given Alys. 
That your mother and father had then given to you. 
And which you had plucked the emeralds from, not wishing to wear them around your neck, instead placing them within the piece that sat atop your head. A reminder.
At the centre of the Valyrian steel, the chain flush against you, was a steel dragons claw that hung from its centre, and in its grip a large spherical sapphire. 
Taken from the ashes, as a reminder, as a lasting piece that you could have and hold.
The last piece of him.
Aemond’s eye.
"Shall we?”
You looped your arm in his and made your way down to the Iron Throne chambers together. Always together. Through thick and through thin, you shared the blood of Old Valyria, and the both of you had shared a womb, nothing could seperate you. 
Your hand pressed against your necklace as you walked, feeling the weight of it with every step. Feeling his presence despite not being visible to your eye.
It helped to calm you strangely, helped to give you strength, to give you some sort of hope and feel as though he approved. You hoped that he would. You thought that he would.
He would.
In no time at all, you stood before the two large doors at the entrance to the Iron Throne. Jacaerys stilled, unlinking his arm from yours as he brushed his sweaty palms against his robes. Another habit the two of you shared.
You frowned at him, worry beginning to burrow itself in your chest. You stepped forward to cup his face in both hands, “Do you hate me? For what I am about to do?”
Jacaerys' lips pulled into a lopsided grin, hands coming to grasp yours, “I could never, not now, or in any other lifetime, come to hate you. You are my sister, and I have always held firmly in my beliefs that it should be you to sit the Iron Throne. How could I hate you for taking something that was never to be mine?”
You felt your eyes well with tears, relief pouring from you.
Jacaerys shook his head softly as he chuckled, towering over you, “Don’t cry. You’ll look a mess.”
A laugh bubbled up your throat and you tapped his cheek lightly.
“They’re waiting for me. Actually, waiting for you.” He breathed, stepping back, looking at you one last time as his fingers brushed the necklace, touching the orb that sat against your chest.
Jacaerys breathed deeply as he looked at it, gnawing at it his lip as he held it softly.
You watched his face as he thought for a moment, eyebrows twitching, but then breathed his thought aloud.
"He would be proud.”
You could tell it had taken a lot of Jacaerys to say that.
And yet he did.
You blanched, and the tears that you had tried to hold at bay trickled down your cheeks, hot trails dripping down onto the stones below. 
Jacaerys frowned, head dipping down to your level, “Please don’t cry. Mother will have my head.”
You chuckled wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.
“Away with you then, the sight of you brings me to tears.” You half laughed and half sobbed.
Your brother swiped up a stray tear that had escaped your eyes before he gave a deep and mocking curtsey to you, his curly brown hair flopping against the sides of his face, “At once, Your Grace.” And with that, Jacaerys slinked into the chambers, announced loudly by Ser Erryk inside. 
The doors shut behind him as you heard the crowd inside slowly quieten. You straightened your posture, heart beating against your chest with every breath.
But there would be no waiting, nor halting of what was to come. No moment of stilling for just a breath more to catch your bearings. Because if life had taught you anything, it was that the world does not slow for anyone, and it shall continue to move forward without you, even if you are trapped in the past. 
And so forward, you went.
The doors were pulled open, and you felt each and every eye in the throne room turn to you. All Lords and Ladies from across the realm, Heads of their Houses and knights, watching as you made your way towards them. But your eyes were solely on your parents. 
Queen Rhaenyra was seated upon the Iron Throne, dressed head to toe in black and red, gold crown of her father, the crown of King Jaehaerys before him, seated atop her skull and pride in her eyes. 
Your father, King Consort Daemon Targaryen, stood at the bottom of the throne, hands in front of him as he grinned ear to ear, watching as you descended the stairs and walked towards them.
Atop his head, the Conquerors Crown.
Just as you had told him to wear.
‘This is yours now.’ You had told him, and he had argued, but you had insisted, ‘Return it to me when I sit the Throne.'
“Princess Y/n Velaryon, First of her Name, Daughter of Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen.” Ser Erryk’s voice boomed into the chambers, and you had to suck in a stiffening breath as you felt pangs of fear wind through you. 
It was almost like the days you had been brought before Aegon, the strange feeling of remembrance racing through you icily. Remembering how it had felt to be presented to this throne twice before.
But it wasn’t the same. 
There was no danger here, only love, and care, and trust. But this did not stop your mind from racing, or your heart from jumping in your chest as you stood before your mother, looking up at her.
Rhaenyra looked out at the sea of Lord and Ladies who stood in the Hall, all having travelled from their lands to come to the Red Keep for you.
All who had sworn themselves to her. 
All who were willing to do it all again. 
“Let all who stand here today, who have travelled across the Seven Kingdoms, who have sailed the seas and ridden to Kings Landing,” Her voice boomed across the room, steady and even, “Bear witness to the naming of Princess Y/n Velaryon as my successor for the Iron Throne.”
You smiled softly at your father before turning around to face the room, looking out at all who stood present, and had come to declare for your mother. 
For you. 
Some faces you recognised, others you did not. House sigils were pressed or stitched into robes and cloaks or armour, House colours adorned on shoulders and skirts. Men and woman of all kinds filled the chambers of the Iron Throne ready to swear their fealty.
Princess Rhaenys and Lord Corlys were the eyes you found first, standing at the front with your half sister Princess Rhaena beside them. All had their heads towards you, Rhaena grinning widely, whilst Rhaenys dipped hers in a subtle nod, the tiniest of smiles on her lips. 
Lord Corlys however, did not smile, nor nod, but looked at you in appraisal. In pride. He had always treated you as his granddaughter, and despite you knowing the truth about Laenor, it did not take away that he had been a father to you, and Corlys, a grandfather.
At the sides of the chambers, your brothers stood and watched, and it took everything within you to not cry as one head of brown was missing. 
You swallowed thickly as Rhaenyra continued.
“Your loyalty to the true heir of the Iron Throne has not been forgotten. Your sacrifices to regain the throne are not forgotten. All Lords and Ladies who stand before the throne today have shown their loyalty, bravery, and defiance in the face of turncloaks and usurpers. Have shown support of my cause, and my claim as the rightful heir and ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. So today,” She breathed behind you, “I, Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, ask that you to do so again. Pledge fealty to the throne and its rightful heir before the Old Gods and the New. Promise your faith, and know that if it is broken, there will be no mercy given to those who go against it.”
You breathed again, feeling your hands begin to sweat. 
This was all you had ever wanted. 
This was all that you had ever dreamed of. 
But there was so much missing from it.
So many missing.
It was a dream that you had thought was lost. Gone with the marriage, gone with Lucerys. Gone to Jacaerys. Gone with the war. 
But here you were, before the eyes of the Heads of the realms Houses, having your succession be named before the Gods, and their fealty sworn to you.
“Step forth now, and make the pledge.”
The first to move, was the silver locks of Lord Corlys Velaryon. He moved with no hesitancy, with a speed that had rivalled all others, moving to stand before you, slowly lowering himself to his knee as he bowed his head. 
Ser Erryk announced him to all present, “Lord Corlys, of House Velaryon, Lord of the Tides and Master of Driftmark.”
Corlys lifted his head to look at you, his deep voice moving through the chambers, “I, Lord Corlys Velaryon, Lord of the Tides and Master of Driftmark, promise to be faithful to Queen Rhaenyra and her named heir, the Princess Y/n. I pledge fealty to them, and shall defend them against all enemies in good faith and without deceit. I swear this by the Old Gods and New.” The Lord stood, moving back to his wife and granddaughter, where he kept his eyes upon you, a small nod tipped towards you and the throne. 
Warmth bloomed in your chest as you smiled at him softly. He was still, in your eyes, your grandfather.
The elder Lord Staunton was next, stepping forward to the middle of the aisle of people, bending his knee down slowly until it rested against the stones, bowing his head.
“Lord Simon Staunton, Lord of Rooks Nest, and Head of House Staunton.”
“I, Lord Simon Staunton, Lord of Rooks Nest and Head of House Staunton, promise to be faithful to Queen Rhaenyra and her named heir, the Princess Y/n. I pledge fealty to them, and shall defend them against all enemies in good faith and without deceit. I swear this by the Old Gods and New.”
Lord after Lord, Lady after Lady, Heads of Houses, young and old, stepped forth to kneel before you and pledge their allegiance and fealty to you, naming you as the successor to the Iron Throne.
All you could do was stand and watch, pride and vindication blooming in your chest warmly.
The last man stepped forward, but his robes were far different to those who stood amongst the rest. You watched in interest as he bent his knee.
He would be no older than Aemond had been. His hair was a dark brown, long and pulled away from his face by a clasp at the back of his head. 
As he bowed to you, Ser Erryk Cargyll announced him to the throne room, voice loud behind you, icy grey eyes lifting to meet yours.
“Lord Cregan Stark, Wolf and King of the North, Lord of Winterfell and Head of House Stark.”
Lord Cregan Stark had a long face, not in the way that Aemond had, but Cregan’s thicker, and fuller. Cheeks wider and more muscular, and lips that were dutifully kept still. Furs lined the neck of his robes, and large silver wolf heads clasped it together in a chain at the front.
“I, Lord Cregan Stark, Wolf and King of the North, Lord of Winterfell and Head of House Stark,” His was voice was deep and smooth, his accent lilting upon every word he spoke, “Promise to be faithful to Queen Rhaenyra and her named heir, the Princess Y/n. I pledge fealty to them, and shall defend them against all enemies in good faith and without deceit. I swear this by the Old Gods and New.”
The entire time he spoke, he kept his eyes on you. 
You blinked as he stood, towering taller than most men in the room, and watched as he moved back to his place, feeling a pull towards him in your chest. 
There was no denying that he was handsome, a certain roguishness to him that only men in the North had. His shoulders were broad, and he looked to be a seasoned swordsman with large hands that he clasped at his front.
He did not smirk at you as Aemond would have when he caught you staring, and instead bowed his head out of curtesy and respect. 
You swallowed and looked away, turning to finally face your mother, who sat upon the throne, crown atop her silver hair, and large blade at her side, hand rested on top of the hilt. She looked down at you with bright and violet eyes.
You bowed your head to her, momentarily looking down at the stones, where stains of red sat beneath your feet. 
It was clear there had been an attempt to scrub it free, but the blood of Aegon Targaryen had sat at the foot of the throne for too long, and its viscousness had sunk deep into the porous stone.
When you lifted your eyes back to your mother Rhaenyra, she stood, looking out at all those present. All who had stayed loyal, all who had sworn their loyalty again. To the Houses that had sacrificed men in the battle for the throne, a mere moon before. To the Houses who had stayed true to their loyalty. 
And then, to you. 
To the one person who had made it happen. To the one person who ensured her seat. Months in waiting, months of torture and depravity. Months of sheer will to complete what she had started.
The realm knew you as many things.
The People’s Princess. The Bastard Princess. Survivor at Storms End. The Merciless. The Realms Despair. The Kinslayer. The Claimer of Two. King Maker. Queen Consort. Wife to the One-Eyed King. The Broken Queen. 
King Slayer. 
Queen Maker. 
And a Queen for a Day.
But now you would be known as something that was rightfully, birthright and earned, yours. 
“I, Rhaenyra Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals, and the Roynar, and The First men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, do hereby name, Y/n Velaryon, Princess of the Realm, the Heir to the Iron Throne.”
Heir to the Iron Throne.
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monsterswithimagines · 5 months ago
Text
Undisclosed Desires - Part 19
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Joe Goldberg x female!Reader
Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.
Words: 888
Masterlist
Fun fact: I actually wrote a part of this (the obvious email) in Dutch and then translated it with Google Translate so it would be realistic lmao.
I have the key to your place. You have the key to mine. We are that kind of couple.
When you're at work, I sometimes go to your apartment and read your email. I don't like that you have a male friend you haven't told me anything about, even if most of what you talk to him about is me.
Still, (Y/n), can you blame me for being worried? You are not supposed to keep secrets from me. And you don't. Except for when it comes to [email protected].
I have to be fast today. Yesterday, you ran into Paco's mom, Claudia. She complained to you that she has to work, so she can't take Paco trick or treating today, and Ron isn't interested. You're too kind, so you said we'd do it. And because not just Claudia, but even Ron actually likes you, Claudia thanked you profusely and said that “that would be great, actually.”
You should know, (Y/n), that I hate Halloween. But, as you pointed out, this isn't about me, or you - “don't you think I would have rather gone to the costume party my boss is throwing, Joe?” No. I don't think you would have. But that’s beside the point.
This is about Paco. And he will be at my apartment in less than two hours.
So I have to hurry.
But your email is just so enticing. I don't find any new exchanges with Grey (I did check just last week), but that doesn't mean there's nothing for me to see. You have a new email from your mother, and it's far easier to copy and paste one long message into Google Translate than it is to figure out texts.
Your mother writes:
Dear (Y/n),
I've had to think long and hard about how to tell you this, but I won't be there this Christmas. Your grandma and grandpa don't want Steef there, so I'm going with him to his family in Utrecht. You are of course very welcome to come too. Steef would like to meet you. I talk about you all the time, my sweet, smart daughter with her great job in America.
Unfortunately, I know you probably don't feel like it. Your grandfather has his claws in you. He thinks everything I do is wrong, and you believe him. That saddens me enormously. All your life you have seen your grandparents as the people who love you. Even as a little girl you didn't see how much I loved you and how much I did for you. I had to look for love somewhere else.
I found that love in Steef, (Y/n). We love each other so much. But I can't start a life with him if you haven't met him. Then help us! I love you so much, honey. Give me that love back and accept that I want to be happy too!
I don't understand why you let your grandparents determine your entire life. Joe sounds like a perfect man. Do you really leave him alone at Christmas and New Year because you are afraid that your grandfather has an opinion about your relationship?
You deserve so much better, Poppedijn. Both of us.
To the stars and back again,
Mom.
Oh. You're going to hate this.
Usually, you and your mom email each other when you want to tell each other things you consider too long to text. Like when you tell her about your day at work, or she talks about the latest drama going on in your hometown. Only once before have I seen you receive an email like this from your mother. When you read it, you completely shut down on me for a week. You wouldn't talk about it. You wouldn't talk to anyone. You called in sick to work and shut yourself inside your apartment.
I can't let that happen this time.
I write a response. I have to translate it and send it back in Dutch, and I know it won't be perfect, but I'm hoping your mother will write that off as part of your inability to string proper sentences together when you're not writing professionally.
mom,
i understand why you have to go to utrecht. you're right, i'd rather not come. but you need to find your bliss.
i need to find my bliss, too, so i think it's better if we don't speak to each other for a while. it's not personal. i'm very tired all the time and i want to focus on joe and i don't want to think about my mom, who'd rather spend christmas with her boyfriend's family than suck it up and see her only daughter.
all my love,
(y/n)
I hit send. Then, I panic and delete the email from your sent folder. Then, I panic even more and delete your mother's email altogether. I even remove it from your deleted files.
What have I done?
Your mom is going to react to this. She is going to tell you about the email she received. Then you will wonder who sent it, and who will all the signs point to? Your boyfriend, who has access to your apartment and your laptop when you're not paying attention.
I quickly replace the laptop and leave.
What am I going to do?
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