#I was struggling to remember ten urls

[sxlemnity]

Rules: Shuffle your 'on repeat’ playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people🎶

1. Good Morning - Max Frost 2. Yellow - JubyPhonic 3. Strange Young World - Ranya, Hidden Citizens 4. World of Stone - Blackmore's Night 5. Settle for Less - GLAZE 6. Lowborn - Aviators 7. Upside Down - Dommin 8. Miracle - Caravan Palace 9. Iconic - PrototypeRaptor 10. Hakkerskaldyr - Heilung

tagged by: @ionianelder

tagging: @witchcraftandburialdirt @nithhaiahh @hook-and-chains @independentzaun @bladesdanced @infinite-xerath @umbane @wolvensden @agonizedembrace @bioniczaunites

[thatswhatsushesaid]

personal/professional anecdote related to my last reblog:

I remember when I was first starting out in my masters program back in 2014 and approached my advisor with my thoughts about how to affordably approach digital preservation of records, I received the most skeptical and condescending of responses, and it took the wind right out of my sails for the next two years.

my advisor: how interesting, can you demonstrate how this would work

me: well, no, but I can show you the website of a distributed digital preservation network in my home state that spreads the costs of maintaining the network across all participating member institutions, which lowers the barriers of access to small community archives and libraries

him: cool, can you bring up the website now?

me, getting out a pen and a notepad: no, I don't have a laptop, but I can write down the URL for you--

him, cutting me off: you don't have a laptop? you've enroled in a masters program here at [prestigious canadian university] and you don't have a laptop? you are going to struggle in my courses. you'll struggle in the whole program.

me, totally thrown off-balance and humiliated but trying not to show it: um, I have a desktop computer at my apartment. the graduate studies office said we could rent laptops from the faculty for completing coursework, and I've always taken my notes by hand--

him: if you are serious about this field, you really need to get a laptop.

me, wondering what any of this has to do with my ideas: I can't afford a laptop.

him, smiling and shrugging his shoulders: (:

it really bears mentioning that this guy's background and CV were why I applied to this program, put myself nearly $70K into student loan debt, and moved myself literally a cross a continent in the first place. (don't fret about the money; I have nearly paid it all off by now, but the me of 2014 certainly had no way of knowing that was going to happen.)

I just remember sitting across from this titan in the field while he smiled at me with this expression of pleasant condescension on his face, and I remember trying desperately to understand why my inability to be able to afford a laptop as new immigrant graduate student with barely enough money in the bank to buy groceries or cat food or make that month's rent had any bearing on the value of my ideas. (ideas which were, you'll note, about how to make digital preservation work when you don't have any fucking money.) what I can't remember is how I ended the conversation; I just know that I went home and shamefully begged my dad for help buying a laptop that neither of us could really afford to spend money on at the time.

it's been nearly ten years since I had that conversation with my advisor, and I am now what just about anyone would consider 'professionally successful' in my field, but that field is not digital preservation. because I was so shamed by this conversation, and I so completely internalized my advisor's attitude that my inability to afford this one piece of technology meant I was not 'serious' about the field. which is stupid, and I have the experience and self-confidence and success to my name now to know just how stupid that is.

anyway if I bump into him at an alumni reunion sometime, I think I'll tell him exactly how much his words undermined my self-confidence and changed my professional trajectory, and politely ask him to never say that to another poor, first year graduate student ever again.

[quickdeaths]

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

I have a few, so in no real particular order

Dropping threads/not replying to starters without saying anything. I try to be communicative about things when I can (although I'm sure I don't always succeed) and I'm happy to make changes, or move things in a particular direction, do a timeskip, location change, whatever if the need is there. What I can't do anything about, though, is when someone drops a thread with me or sees a starter I wrote for them and decides not to respond without saying anything to me.

It puts me in a state of like "are they gonna reply? should I send them a message or would that be bothering them? if I send in a meme or like their starter call, will they be annoyed because we already have something and they're just working on it? I understand that not every thread can continue for 40+ replies, and not every starter is a 10/10 out the gate, but I can't know what's up if people won't tell me.

Blatantly ignoring easily-available information (especially for ship purposes). This doesn't happen too much anymore, but it used to happen with some frequency, where people who I barely knew, or hadn't written with much, would pitch me on things that contradicted some of the most basic things on my muses' pages. There's a lot to read and everyone makes mistakes on things sometimes, that's not really an issue, but, for example, on some of my other blogs there was a small pattern of people trying to pitch m/f ships for my lesbian characters, when my character's sexuality was like the third line from the top on my page.

Way too much OOC content. People can run their blogs as they like, and it's not my right to tell people what they can and can't do, however, something that personally drives me a little crazy is when I see a new RP blog that will make upwards of like ten posts a day that are aesthetic posts, OOC life updates, shipping calls, memes, and other miscellaneous posts, while answering IC memes or writing threads maybe extremely infrequently. I remember on another blog following someone, and at the point where I softblocked them, they were making three or four posts a day, without fail, and yet I had to go back over two months to find IC content. It's just not really compatible with how I like to handle my experience.

Blog hopping. I understand that there are valid reasons to archive or delete a blog and remake it, but occasionally I have seen people go through like a blog every month or two, or go from having a single-muse blog, to putting their character on their multi, to making a new single-muse, to remaking the multi and putting them there again, to putting them on a single-muse again, etc. etc. The explanation that I often hear is that people want a clean slate, or things got too crazy, they want to get away from some problem, or something like that, but then they will keep the same URL, the same aesthetics, re-follow all the same partners, keep the same ships, etc.

The analogy that I use is like, if you have bedbugs, moving to a new apartment but bringing the old frame, mattress, and bedding is not going to help you. Sooner or later you're going to have the same problems again. For me, as well, it's a struggle to keep up with past threads or interactions, conversations that might have been had in IMs, etc. if they're spread out across lots of different blogs. It's just not really an impulse I understand, and I find it disruptive, especially when consistently paired with dropping all threads and wanting to start new threads with the same characters.

[anexperimentallife]

I have memory issues, and hate trying to remember if goatfucker69 with the Grape Ape pfp used to be puresamvimes87 with the Perry the Platypus pfp, and I figure some of my followers might struggle as well, so I keep the same url and usually my face as a pfp. Last time I changed my url was ten or so years ago, and that was only because Tumblr was weird about urls with dashes back then, and my then-url was cogito-ergo-wtf.

If you haven’t changed your url in years tell me why as someone in your same boat it’s for science

[bedlamsbard]

So I hope it's all right to ask you a question about Lackey's books. Do I remember correctly your url comes from her Bard series and the first book in it, 'Knight of Ghosts and Shadows' was one of my favorites back when I was a teen. Just recently I discovered that there is more books in this universe, read the second volume and liked it, and now I'm struggling to get through book no 3. Anyways, my question is: have you read the entire series and would recommend getting through this book? cont.

part 2. Because so far I'm... disappointed with the direction ML took book 3. Wikipedia tells me the series was renewed after a longer pause so she might have just changed her mind but for me it kinda made me loose the wonder of the first book.

My username does indeed come from the series! (My friend @stellawind a few years ago gave me a copy of the Bedlam's Bard omnibus signed by ML and inscribed "To Bedlamsbard" and I may have cried.)

So, the back...two-thirds or so of the series, from Beyond World's End to Music to my Sorrow, co-written with Rosemary Edghill, are so different from the first couple of books (A Knight of Ghosts and Shadows and Summoned to Tourney, both cowritten with Ellen Guon) that they might as well be different series, in the same way that the Diana Tregarde and SERRated Edge books are both technically set in the same universe but don't have all that much to do with the Bedlam's Bard books. I actually started with Beyond World's End and the parts of the series that are set in NYC and didn't read the first two until last year (which was a wildly disconcerting experience, since I read the others as they came out in the early '00s), so from my perspective, the two California-set ones are the ones that are really discrepant. I really like them, but they are very different from the first two books and don't share all that much in common (as well as being set ten years later, in the '00s vs. the '90s).

I think it may also depend which third book you're reading, because they came out in a very weird order -- there's a prequel that came out after the first two books (that I actually haven't read) called Bedlam Boyz (written solely by Ellen Guon and not cowritten with Lackey), so I don't know if that's the third book you're reading or if it's Beyond World's End. The NYC-set books are about Eric; there's some shared cast from the California-set books, but most of the characters are new. They're very early '00s urban fantasy in tone in a way that can be a little discrepant now in the '20s. I know there's some effort to integrate the Diana Tregarde worldbuilding (with the existence of Guardians and Guardian House, but no character crossover) and the SERRated Edge books (some character and setting crossover). (For the record, I also didn't read the Diana Tregarde or SERRated Edge books until last year, so the references to those in the BB books I didn't pick up until then and then it made a whole lot more sense.) For me it's partially the difference between '00s urban fantasy and '90s urban fantasy, which is something I can identify but can't really put a finger on; the California-set ones are very '90s and the NYC-set ones are very '00s.

I realize this is not a particularly helpful response -- it's a weird series, tbh, especially with the nearly eight year gap between Summoned to Tourney and Beyond World's End. (This seemed to happen a lot in the early '00s -- Barbara Hambly also returned to a couple of her '80s/'90s series in the early '00s after a multi-year pause.)

[hipsterarcade]

When I attempt to post something after an extended period of time I find myself questioning every aspect of this page, from my writing style and amateurish photos down to the layout and the name. How much of who I am is in a name? I've been "HipsterArcade" for a decade now. Does one outgrow a moniker and get to change it or is it something we live with and carry with us?

This probably sounds silly as you, dear reader, understand well that I can and have changed my name with a few presses of the smartphone screen but somehow it feels disingenuous. I'm not sure I have a real point to what I've said so far except to say that I'm not sure how to identify myself anymore. Not that I've ever been too sure of that but lately I feel even less so. I find myself mentally weak. Crippled by addictive tendencies and poor impulse control. I've wasted years running the same laps on the metaphorical treadmill.

I want to revive this blog, try to post semi regularly again. I'm not sure how much of a community Tumblr has these days but I've had this account for nearly a decade and so much of who I am is embedded in this blog. So whether anyone is out there reading or not, here is my shout into the void.

Last month, in August of 2022, I bought a new camera. A Canon EOS 80D which I named Milo, a worthy upgrade to my decade old Canon Rebel T2i (aptly named Gertrude). Now I am working on learning this camera in and out and figuring out how to do new and creative things with it. For someone who has been doing photography this long, I'm pretty piss poor at it. But I'm learning and adapting and upgrading my hardware and soon I'll be trying to learn to edit. In the meantime my girlfriend has inherited Gertrude and her high school photography classes have proved to have not been a total waste as she takes some really great photos. Though I've had Gertrude for over ten years she only just yesterday took her 10,000th photo. Whereas my 80D was bought slightly used and passed 10,000 last month. I'm not sure Gertrude will ever catch up in terms of shutter count but it's always good to have a backup.

I've been in a committed relationship for nearly two years now and it is going better than any I've ever had before. I fully believe I've found the one for me and that someday I'll be calling her my wife. Sometimes I find myself wondering, though. The negative thoughts creep in.

Would she still love me if she knew the totality of who I am? Would anyone? I truly don't think so. I struggle to reconcile who I've been with who I am and who I want to be. Who I've been is most unfortunately not too different from who I am, while who I want to be is so far off it feels unattainable. Yet still I feel compelled to try. Because I'm not sure I can take another day of the mediocrity I subject myself to. I have notebooks and web pages full of ramblings just begging myself to be better than I have previously been and I continuously come up short. How much of my life will be comprised of the same pathetic plea to myself to be accountable and to be better?

There's so much I don't remember. Years of my life that I remember less than a dozen memories from. So many people I've let down by not showing up when I said I would. So many events I was supposed to be at that I instead ended up flaking on. I can't bear to think of all the people I've let down, the ones I remember and the ones I've forgotten. As I've said so many times before, I want to be more than I am. But who am I?

For now I am Ryan. AKA HipsterArcade, and tomorrow, September 12th starts my journey. Who knows who I'll be at the end of this. Still Ryan, of course. Too much hassle and paper work to change that at this point. But maybe my URL will be different. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere in my core I'll be different too.

I hope so.

[timextoxhajima]

Nevertheless: Pride & Dignity [4]

CHAPTER NAVIGATION [COMPLETED]

synopsis: hwang seol eun finds herself stuck between a toxic relationship with lee hyunjae and a heart-fluttering dynamic with lee juyeon

pairing: jujae x [fem] reader, 3rd person pov [read as hwang seol eun]

genre [per chapter]: fluff and smut

word count: 2.7k

taglist: @sunlightwoo @from-xero @hyunjaethereal @yyyerum @givememunjang @purrple-winkle @ten-gift @17scheol @flwrtbz @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @gyujaehyun @hwallswrld @sweetutopia @louvyves @sunwoowuvbot [pls use this link to submit your URLs for tagging!]

a/n: i was streaming the linked song the entire fucking time i wrote this chapter and sobbed at it i have no idea how to put this into words but i should not have been able to feel the way i did as i struggled through this chapter so PLEASE DONT FUCKING BULLY ME BLAME THE SONG TTTT but also pro tip go read the English lyrics bye

“goodnight,” he quietly nods, glancing at her as he completely steps out of her apartment.

don’t go.

“goodnight.”

please don’t leave me.

then hyunjae lowers his head and turns on his heels, leaving seol eun in her own hallway. she watches the door lock slowly inch nearer and nearer to the lock as it gradually swings shut.

time slows.

she can almost hear the ticking of her clock hung in her living room behind her.

she takes a step forward and reaches out for the door handle.

pull it open; call out a name that wouldn't receive a response.

but before she can even touch the handle, she hears a thud, the door being pushed back against her instead. her reflexes force her a step back, just enough to avoid the radius of the swing.

her eyes widen when hyunjae comes back into sight, arm stretched out to keep the door open as he looks down at her.

it takes a second.

then her stomach drops in her gut when he slots his lips against hers without a single care in the world.

seol eun melts into the kiss completely, her mind going completely blank as the door clicks shut. butterflies replace the air in her lungs and her heart almost stops when she can feel the warm whelm her cheeks as he cups her face, her ears between his fingers.

he takes a step forward and then her back is against the wall of her hallway, her hands anxiously balled up against his chest. her shoulders cringe upwards to her ears, and her nose sours for some reason, she would never be able to explain with words.

he calms and pulls away, hooded lids visiting her lips first then her eyes and he brushes a lock of fringe out of her face. tucking it behind her ear, his pupils dart between hers when he scans for any hint of regret.

but seol eun's mind is empty.

nothing but needing not the physicality of him but everything else he can offer.

so it's a nauseating, hair-raising kind of hypnosis when he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her against the length his body. her arms circle around his shoulders and neck when their lips meet again, this time softer but so much more heart-wrenching.

seol eun feels his height drop, then his palms come around the side of her thighs to lift her up against the wall. her knees come around his hips, his arms tight around her waist and hers around his shoulders.

she can feel the weight of him under her as he walks towards the living room, chills running up her spine when he sinks to sit on the couch.

his hands come up her back and hold her jaw, her weight resting over his hips and her fingers curling into his shoulders. hyunjae breaks the kiss first, nose lowering into her neck and tilting her head upwards.

blurred vision scans the ceiling as if she was gonna remember any of it.

his lips are flutter against her neck and throat, warm hands coming to push her beige cardigan off her shoulders.

her jaws clench when he finds a gentle nerve on her neck, and her nails dig further into his shoulders as she shudders.

he lays the cardigan on the armrest to his left, her hands tugging on the collar of his shirt.

seol eun sighs with his lips still on her neck, hands trailing down his chest and stomach as she undoes his buttons.

he stops to look at her face, gazes locked while he lets her hands roam under his collar to slide them off his skin.

goosebumps erupt all over her when the cream-honey shade of his skin comes under her fingers, and she doesn't notice where her face has come to look until he tilts her head up by her chin.

leaning forward again, his lips meet hers and move in sync as she feels him laying her sideways.

then her back meets the rough material of the couch, his lips coming off hers only to attach themselves to her collarbone.

seol eun can see his shoulder blades emerge out from his back when he crouches over her, breathing heavily when the light pecks reach down into her cleavage.

her fingers run up and down the length of his neck, coming into his hair and ruffling through them. the scent of him sticks itself into her olfactory senses, and a harsh gasp makes him smile into her skin when he lifts her shirt to plant a kiss on her stomach.

as if that wasn't enough to fill her gut with more butterflies, seol eun can't help but look down as he begins undoing the ribbon around her shorts, loosening the material around her waist.

she licks her lips.

gulps.

and then her shorts and underwear come off the curve of her pelvic bone and he gentle holds up her legs by her ankles to remove them.

her chin tilts back to the ceiling as she sucks in a deep breath, holding it in her chest when he dips his nose into her abdomen.

his breath is hot on her skin when he kisses downwards, running chills all through her body.

then the contact breaks off and she looks down to watch him undo his belt, the back of her hands flat against her hair that's flowered out around her head.

her head is in a swirl when she looks back up to the ceiling, the last hint of her common sense trying to recall the last time her heart's raced like that.

trying to recall the last time her gut's betrayed her like this.

she doesn't register anything until he comes back to her face and slots his lips between hers, his hands roaming the skin on her stomach and her waist.

hyunjae gently takes her wrists and wraps them around his shoulders, tongue sliding over her bottom lip and tilting his head all too naturally.

seol eun lets out a gentle whimper when she feels him at her entrance, his hands holding onto her thighs and hooking them over his waist.

he pulls away, dragging a trail of saliva between their tongues.

pressing his forehead to hers, he pecks her nose and reaches down, dragging himself along her entrance and spreading out the slick.

a small smile pulls out his lips, tilting his head when he can see the agony and want in her closed eyes and slacked jaw.

he leaves light kisses along her jaw, fingers on his own tip before he pushes himself in.

there's a pained whimper in the back of her throat as she gasps, her fingers squeezing the flesh on his back when he bottoms out.

seol eun can feel her heart racing in her chest, bliss rushing through her bones when he groans into her ear, still kissing her neck and below her ear.

her eyes tear up, chin tilting to the ceiling when he drags himself out and slowly pushes back in. frantic fingers find his jaw and holds it back to her own lips, using him to hide her mewls and muffled cries as he picks up his pace with every thrust.

she breaks the kiss only when she loses her breath, hands dropping to his arms and gripping onto his muscle. she looks down between their writhing bodies, eyes hypnotised by the sight of his inches disappearing from sight and making her feel him instead.

his arms hold his weight up, fringe flopped over his eyes as he huffs, slowly picking up his pace.

but seol eun is too far gone in her own head, mind no longer in control of her body as she shudders and begins to cringe from him brushing the right spot inside her.

hyunjae finds her lips again, both hands gripping the armrest her head was up against. seol eun's palms roam the length of his shoulders, down to his chest and back up to his jaw as his thrusts roughen, his pelvis flat against hers every time he bottoms out.

he swallows every moan, every cry and every wail as he hits her weakness, her body writhing and cringing under him.

seol eun is shot into nothingness and bliss with that final thrust, and he pulls out to release on her stomach.

seol eun wakens when the breath on her forehead hits her eyelashes, tired eyes fluttering open. her blurred vision darts up his chin and to his nose, closed eyes and gentle snoring making her heart race again.

the warmth of his arms around her torso keeps her tapered to his body, half of hers probably resting on his.

it wasn't that much of a great idea to sleep on the couch, but it passed off as an excuse for her to keep curled up against him like she was now.

her arm was wrapped around his lower torso, feeling him rise and sink under her and against her chest. the smoothness his collarbones peeking out from under the blanket somehow reflects the morning light, and then the rest of his pectoral muscles disappear under the cotton.

her eyes are wide open now, scanning his face and memorising how far apart his eyes are.

the arch of his nose.

the shape of his lips.

then the sound of a phone vibrating somewhere makes her shut her eyes - because she knows it's not hers.

hyunjae inhales through his nose, shuffling a little and remaining careful with the girl in his arms now. she feels him reach over the arm rest, the warmth from her side vanishing.

"what is it?" he whispers, the arm under her neck and circled around her shoulders gently rubbing against her back.

seol eun can hear the person on the other end of the line, but she can't tell what the conversation was about.

"today?"

he shifts.

"okay."

the line goes dead, and he reaches over the arm rest to place his phone back onto the table by the couch.

now, seol eun opens her eyes, feigning her morning yawn as she rests her palm to his chest.

"who was that?"

"good morning," he grins gorgeously, pressing a kiss to her forehead. then he tightens his arms around her, fingers playing with her hair by her ear. "just a friend from work."

seol eun blinks. "from the beach?"

"mhm. called me to ask if i could do a last minute shift."

"oh," seol eun swallows, pressing her ear to his chest to listen to his heartbeat. "when do you have to go? are you staying?"

"nah, i gotta go soon," the warm air rushes between them when he pulls away, looking down in her eyes and brushing her hair out of her face. "i gotta go home and wash up."

"okay."

"last night was fun," he chuckles lightly, his fingers drawing circles on her back between her shoulder blades. "but i gotta go, okay?"

"mhm."

he presses a kiss to her lips this time, letting his lips rest on hers for some moments before he pulls away, letting seol eun hold the blanket to herself as he pulls on his clothes.

he turns back when he's fully clothed now, hair in a slight mess after he combed his fingers through. seol eun watches him show himself out of her apartment, messy thoughts running through her head as she lays back down and snuggles into the warmth he left on the couch.

his colleague is a girl?

"mi young came back from lake white today, said her friends probably banged in the holiday house."

"uh huh."

"apparently she found handcuffs in her friend's bag. what the fuck are kids doing nowadays, fucking in holiday houses?"

"uh huh."

"i mean, if you wanna fuck, like- do it in your own house?"

"uh huh."

"why on a school trip? why- are you even listening to me?"

"uh huh."

mi jung drops the book, the paper back clacking against the counter top when she sees seol eun sitting by the window of her bedroom, cheek in her palm as she stares out.

"you're a fucking idiot."

"uh huh."

seol eun is slapped out of her mental debate when she feels a pillow run into her side.

"did you hear a word i said?"

"...yes."

"okay," mi jung hurls the pillow back onto seol eun's bed and crosses her arms. "where did mi young go?"

"lake white."

"what did she find in her friend's bag?"

"handcuff- oh."

"uh huh," mi jung smirks, brows wriggling playfully.

"eugh," seol eun shudders, finally turning around and watching mi jung return to the boxes she has by her bed. "handcuffs? why?"

"how the hell should i know?" mi jung shrugs, pulling out the books from the boxes and laying them on seol eun's table. "are you gonna help me or what? these are your things, by the way."

"no, i just-" seol eun pulls herself to her feet and strides over to mi jung, squatting opposite her at the same box. "thinking."

"about?"

seol eun glances up and unintentionally locks eyes with mi jung.

"why do you look guilty of felony?"

"what?"

"guilty. felony. you look like you just remembered you slept with someone's husband."

seol eun looks away.

"i didn't."

"didn't sleep with someone or didn't sleep with someone's husband?"

seol eun falters for a split second.

"oh my god."

"no-"

"who the hell did you sleep with?" mi jung's eyes are so wide, her eyes could fall out of their sockets. "i leave you alone for one weekend and you slept with someone?"

"i did not sleep with someone."

"oh, just imagine his hands all over you and his lips on your neck and-"

"mi jung!"

"your face is so red!" she squeals, standing and grabbing seol eun onto the bed and thwacking her arm. "details. is he hot?"

seol eun tightens her temples, lips pursed and unable to look at her in the eye.

"oh think of his arms and his hair and-"

"fine, yes. he's hot."

"ooh," mi jung bites on her bottom lip, smiling at her cheekily. "how was he?"

"is privacy still a thing anymore?"

"not with me, it's not."

"wow."

a pause.

"oh the heat and the moaning and the-"

"MI JUNG-"

the taller girl cackles, falling back into her pillows as seol eun's cheeks flush an insane shade of pink, her ears burning and her eyes almost tearing from the embarrassment.

"okay, okay! i'm sorry," she coughs through giggles, sitting up. "okay, then- are you guys dating now or like-"

"no, we're not."

"what? so it was like a one night stand kinda thing? no strings attached?"

"probably a one night stand," seol eun turns back to the box of books, attention catching the box under her table instead.

"that's disappointing," mi jung leans back into her back, laying on her palms and watching the ceiling. "did you use protection?"

"no."

"he didn't come in you, did he?"

"do i look like an idiot to you?" seol eun finally turns and slaps mi jung's foot.

"y'know... some girls hook their legs around the guy so tight that he comes in her and so when she gets pregnant he can't-"

then seol eun picks up a book and begins hitting mi jung's legs.

"ow- ow- OW- STOP IT-" mi jung catches the book and yanks it away from her, leaving seol eun to stand from the foot of the bed and attend to the books instead.

"i was just being dumb for a night, okay? probably just missed someone, that's all," she leans down and picks up the books from the box, sliding them into the shelf above her table.

"does he know about your ex?"

seol eun pauses as she aligns them. "no."

"i don't wanna be the mom here but... you know you're walking on eggshells here, right?"

seol eun looks down at the small mirror she has on the table.

"yeah."

[wonunuu]

iris beauty ❀

18: unexpected night

✎ synopsis: falling for a guy is never easy, especially when your best friend of many years basically claimed him; you and mina have been friends for as long as you can remember, but your loyalty and trust are tested when she asks you to pretend to be her in meeting a guy she had been talking to online and you unintentionally start to develop feelings for him.

✎ genre: romance, angst, comedy, fluff

✎ pairing: reader x yoon jeonghan

✎ word count: 1.5k+

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a/n: i apologize in advance if there are some errors. this was not proofread and was written during the midnight :) always, send your thoughts!!! if you want to be tagged, add your url here!

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After your short ten-minute break, you exit the locker room and head to the front counter, notifying your co-worker that your break had finished and that you were going to take over. Walking to the front counter, you greet a customer who was patiently waiting. 

“Good afternoon! What can I get you today?” you ask the woman, whom you’ve probably seen before. “Just chai latte, please.” She smiles. You punch her order in, she hands you the money and you take it, placing it in the cashier machine. You give her the receipt and her order number, then start preparing her order.

As you give her her latte, you are surprised to see a familiar face, carefully inspecting the menu. “Thank you!” the woman says before exiting the door. 

“What are you doing here?” You inquire. Jeonghan smiles at you, “Well, I was thinking we could go out tonight if you're free?” 

“So you came here knowing that there's a possibility that I wouldn't be free?”, you asked, a little touched at his subtle act of kindness. He nods. Putting his kindness into consideration as you contemplate whether to lie and say you have plans or, to tell the truth, and agree. 

Jeonghan bites the inside of his cheek as he awaits your answer, but lets out a breath of relief when he sees you nod. You agree for three reasons. One, not to make anything seem suspicious. Rejecting his offer to take you out will most likely make him suspicious as the real Mina, whom he’s been talking to, would say yes. Two, if he’s taking you out then that would mean you’d be eating real food, and not instant noodles that have been in the kitchen cabinets for God knows how long—they’re probably way too long past their expiration date. Third, you did feel bad that he travelled long distances to come to your workplace to ask you—as Mina—out on a date, knowing that you might not be able to go.

“I still have forty minutes left before I clock out, though”, you inform him, wiping the counter. 

“That’s okay. I can just wait ‘till you finish. It's my fault for coming here without notice,” Jeonghan nervously laughs. “But I’d like something to drink while I wait.” You smile, shaking your head out of amusement. His shamelessness never fails to make you laugh. Jeonghan fondly stares at you, proud of himself for making you smile. 

“Pick any, it’s my treat.” You tell him as you fiddle around with the cashier machine, preparing to put his order in. Jeonghan’s ears perk up at your words, specifically on the last three. He excitedly scans the menu again and picks a drink of his choice. You instruct him to sit on the empty table placed in the far corner of the room. Immediately, you start making his beverage, meticulously measuring the ingredients, and once finished, you walk to where he was seated and give it to him. “Thanks,” Jeonghan mutters before taking a sip, and you watch intently, waiting for his reaction. Jeonghan frowns, you start to get worried. “Is it not good? I can make you another one—” 

“I’m just kidding, it tastes amazing.” You were cut off by Jeonghan suddenly wrapping his free arm around your waist and nuzzling his face into your stomach. You were taken aback by his actions but quickly reminded yourself that this is normal between couples—not that you and he are together, but you as Mina and he are together. Saying it in your head, you realize how confusing this whole pretending thing really is. 

You roll your eyes and smack his shoulder, he lets out a yelp in response and rubs the spot, trying to ease the sting.

He giggles, “Go work now.” You give him an “okay” before leaving him alone for you to continue working. 

“So where are we going?”

The two of you walk out to the cafe towards his car. Jeonghan tried to hold your hand but was saddened when you hid them in your pockets. Nonetheless, he brushes it off and continues to walk beside you. 

“Uh,” he thought, looking up. “We have a few options, actually.”

You reach his car and he opens the door for you, acting like a gentleman—a tip from his friend, Joshua. You mumble a thank you before going in. He closes the door and jogs to the other side to go into the driver’s seat. 

“A, we go to the movies,” he waits for your reaction. You shake your head, he looks confused. “I thought that was what was your ideal first date?” 

You shook your head again, “I changed my mind. Tell me the other options.”

He clears his throat, “I—I actually don’t have anymore… I assumed you were going to agree to the movies.” He nervously admits. "I wanted to seem cool, you know? Like I have things planned." He looks at you hesitantly, embarrassed at his confession. You laugh, a little louder than intended, he laughs along. 

“I can't believe you. Let me look up some fun places we can go.” You say, emphasizing the word ‘fun’, Jeonghan rolls his eyes in response. 

Three long minutes have passed, lazily scrolling through your phone. Jeonghan, too, had his phone, looking for possible destinations that could interest the both of you. 

Earlier, you both discussed and agreed that you wanted something interesting to do on your first date; not sitting on some chairs watching movies. When you were about to give up, something caught your eye. You gasped, causing Jeonghan to whip his head at you. 

“There’s a night fair not too far from here! We need to go, please Han?” You excitedly squeaked, not knowing where the nickname came from. Jeonghan smirks at you, “New nickname? I like it.” Taking you by surprise, he grabs your free hand and places them on his cheek, caressing them gently with his thumb. “Give me the address, let’s go.” 

The two of you walk tiredly around the fair after playing dozens of games. You knew about each other's competitive nature, so the competition in trying to win the games came naturally. You personally think a little competition made the games more enjoyable. 

You'd say you guys are tied; even. You had won the ring toss, gaining a mug as a prize. He won the dart game, it turned out his aim was as accurate as cupid. Et cetera. 

Now, you were trying to find something to fill your growling stomachs. There were many food booths open and you had been walking around for what felt like hours. You couldn't seem to find the right booth that offered the food. Until Jeonghan suddenly grabs your hand and pulls you towards a booth around the end of the road. 

“Oh my god,” you almost scream out of joy. “How did you know?” 

“It's my favourite too.” He tells you, smugly. 

"Hello, can we get two nakji bokkuem, please? Thank you." He orders the food while you look around to find a table to sit at. Despite the number of people, you luckily find a free spot. You walk to the empty table, leaving Jeonghan to wait for the food by himself. 

As you observe the boy from your seat, thoughts flood your head. You were suddenly worried about what Mina's reaction would be when you tell her that you, pretending to be Mina, have been meeting up with Jeonghan while she was gone. You weren't bothered about being caught because you were sure that you were going to pull it off. But one thing you fretted about the most is his reaction when Mina tells him the truth. Mina had told you that when she would come back from her trip, she would tell Jeonghan everything. You were scared for your best friend; you don't want her to feel heartbroken. 

You push your thoughts to the side when you see Jeonghan approach, food in his hands. As he takes a seat, he wafts the smoke from the food towards you. You close your eyes inhaling the smell, causing your mouth to salivate. 

"Here you go." He places the plate in front of you and takes out your chopsticks. 

"You know I can do that right?" you laughed, taking the chopsticks from his hand. 

"I know, but I want to do it for you," Jeonghan chuckles. 

The table became silent when the two of you started to eat, of course, a few comments and giggles here and there. But the two of you were too focused on eating the food, that you forgot about each other's presence. Until Jeonghan started choking on his last bite, and you being you, you stayed seated laughing as you watched the boy struggle.   

"Why didn't you help me?" Jeonghan whines, rubbing his neck. 

"I was!" You exclaimed, trying to hold yourself from laughing further. "Moral support, you know?" you continue. 

Jeonghan is out of words. "Laughing at me as I choke is not moral support!" He cried.

Your night was definitely unexpected, in the most possible good way. Spending your free time with Jeonghan was so amazing that you forgot you were even pretending to be someone else. Though you do feel guilty, you console yourself by saying that you were doing it for your best friend. 

[whossmashedguitar]

Tagged by @ritchieblackless !! Thank you!!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I want Peter Townshend to smash me into an amplifier. I take ten damage and say thank you.

2. Any side blogs?

@itwasntwanted is a place where I reblog pictures of crabs and tired watch commanders 24/7 so if you like fantasy books...:)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

2016??? I think??? Idk man the last four years of my life haven’t been real

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Nope

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Pete Townshend’s nose told me to do it

6. Why did you choose your icon?

Because he’s hot?

7. Why did you choose your header?

A very nice anon made it for me and I still don’t know who it was!!!!

8. How many mutuals do you have?

I don’t know... i love all of them though I just wish I had the social skills to make friends

9. How many followers?

More than I deserve

10. How many do you follow?

150+- i think

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?

How dare you?

12. How often do you use tumblr every day?

Rn I only check notifications and like the first couple of posts

13. Did you have a fight/argumant with another blog once?

I got angry anons about Stevie Nicks once if that counts

14. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Instant scroll. If it looks interesting enough I’ll read it, but I won’t reblog. Because I’m petty.

(Disclaimer though depends what the subject matter is)

15. Do you like tag games?

I do! I just struggle to remember to actually do them!!!

16. Do you like ask games?

Even more than tag games!!!

17. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Mmm... idk honestly.

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t really get crushes on people

Tags:

Anyone who would like to + @sastrugie @barbarella @whotube-comments @highnumbers @amazingjournneys @thirduncle

[morwensteelsheen]

hi emily! if i'm right your blog used to be called something like "harry potter and the monkees" right? I remember I messaged you when you changed your url years ago and you were pleasantly surprised about me remembering that. We've been mutuals since our classic rock fandom days over 10 years ago. Honestly I just came here to tell you how much I love to read your thoughts on tolkien works, your ramblings and your critical takes. I am a big big fan of LOTR books even though I have trouble coming back to them because of how i'm constantly stressed working and studying. IDK i just wanted to thank you for still being here online just posting stuff, rambling in the tags (not even necessarily tolkien stuff) i really like reading what you post and i dont know why you're still mutuals with me i'm just a big dumb dumb reblogging silly stuff. i love so many details about middle earth and the characters... seeing you active in my dashboard reminds me i've put rereading lotr off for far too long. ANYWAY just wanted to message you with a lot of appreciation for you being active on your old blog and thanks for still following me back

I’m so sorry, tumblr mobile didn’t give me a notification for this so I’m only just now seeing it!!!

Aaah, what a lovely message, thank you so much!!! And honestly I totally feel that about struggling to find time to read, just an absolute mare. I hope things settle out for you soon though (and that work + study are going well)!!

God, ten years, that’s absolutely mindboggling. Everything seemed so much easier back then!! Amazing how much has changed.

Honestly mate, thank you so much for this message, it’s absolutely turned around a super shitty day xxx

[aegialia]

self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill. 

for good: 

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through 

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby. 

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting. 

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends. 

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me. 

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness. 

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories. 

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me. 

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

[im-gettingby]

Thirsty Thursday

extreme dehydration edition

Not sure if anyone’s started this yet, but I actually drafted this post in advance this time so I’m gonna post it 😂

All fics above the cut are G or T

Things To Remember When Loving Simon Snow by @problematic-mind

You’ve probably seen the associated art for this, which is just as lovely as the fic. It’s in second person which is very, very cool. Just exceptionally soft and thoughtful.

All’s fair in love and war by @vampire-named-gampire​

We all love a Watford-era magic-gone-wrong fic. Especially if it involves Baz getting exposed. This is a very good and fun fic, with cool magic!

Under the Mistletoe by @seducing-a-vampire​

AU where Simon is a mall elf and Baz is his nemesis from uni. It’s so funny. Literally every other line had me ROLLING. An excellent Mordelia, as well.

Dark Clouds Roll by @snowybank​

ugh look it’s a struggle not to rec at least ten of their fics every time I do a thirsty thursday, but I’m TRYING to keep it short so that you actually read one (and then go read all the others because you’re obsessed.) Baz & Simon are trapped in a room. Baz needs blood. Wherever shall he get it?

Detectorists by shushu_yaoi_lj (I can’t figure out your new URL, sorry!)

Simon is one of those metal detector guys. He tries to detect on Baz’s property. It’s funny.

I’m going to tag everyone tagged in this rec list, and everyone who actually bothered to read such a long and rambling post!

M & E under the cut.

**the last fic under the cut is a trans headcanon rated G, but it’s under there so as not to trigger anyone :)**

Rated M

Knock, Knock by shushu_yaoi_lj

this fic said simpard rights and I’m so here for it. Basically, Baz walks in on a lot of compromising situations involving his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s best bro. Of course, it’s all a big misunderstanding ;) Go read it!

The Anniversary Effect by star4545

This is a really unique, weird, dark fic. It’s so good and interesting - go read it! (tw for character death and sexual assault)

Sword of Mages Tattoo by RooBadley (incomplete)

It’s funny, it’s sexy. There’s character development and tattoos. Each chapter is punchy and makes you want more! The fic is updated frequently and completely written, so don’t be afraid of reading it as a WIP.

Rated E

A Pint’s A Pound by @stillmadaboutpetra​

um. I don’t know what to say about this. It’s just -- the work of a crazed genius. Poetry in fanfiction form. Together, the characterization, writing style, and content create the most incredible and hilarious reading experience you will ever have.

Also it’s a rival bakeries AU involving detailed baking knowledge, puns, and Simon as an ex-GBBOer.

Goodbye, Norma Jean by @captain-aralias​

magickal mishap turned fuck or die (kind of). Super interesting use of magic sharing. It’s smart, it’s funny, it’s porn.

crawl into this space inside your mind by @knitbelove​

Speaking of smart & interesting. (Speaking of writing style that contributes to the overall experience.) Wow, the utter brilliance of this thrall fic is a lot to take in.

Mr. and Mr. Snow by @wolfywordweaver​ (incomplete)

Have you ever thought, I want to read a fanfic that is funny, sexy, heartwarming and angsty, all at the same time? Do you just want to see Baz and Simon getting into hijinks as sexy assassins? Then this fic is for you. Fully written and updates regularly. Seriously, this is a masterpiece!

Everything with you by @nevergonnacallmedarling​

this fic said fuckboy rights and I love it. Look, in canon Simon and Baz are virgins w/ a lot of intimacy issues, which is great, but let’s not forget that sleeping around is great too, if that’s your thing. And it makes for a fun and excellent story. Basically, they’re flatmates and friends with benefits who also have a lot of other friends with benefits, because they just can’t get it together. The whole gang is part of this sexually hyperactive incestuous friend group. I’m not sure this will be as funny to people that didn’t know friend groups like this in college, but it was very funny to me.

this last one’s rated G but is a trans headcanon, so it’s under the cut!

boyfriends, boxes and bad coffee (the one where baz and agatha are trans) by catrastiel

A good Baz & Agatha friendship fic with trans Agatha, whom I always love, and Baz figuring out that they might be nonbinary, and it’s just like, awkward and sweet and I love it.

[loversmeet]

𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙻𝚅𝙴 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝙸'𝙳 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁

tagged by: @prtgniiist​

tagging: @setternine / @multifacetecl / @puppcteer / @xheartpages / @subsetter / @musemade / @singroses / @cpdaichi / @koderror / @kokoro-ippai / @kusatta​ / @rosedrift​

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME ): rey

TWO ( BIRTHDAY ): dec 20th

THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): sagittarius 

FOUR ( HEIGHT ):  5′2

FIVE ( HOBBIES ): i love cooking, writing on tumblr or working on my book series, creating arrangements out of flowers., reading manga and watching anime ( currently reading and obsessed with the promise neverland ) and watching horror movies.

SEVEN ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ):  ooff that’s a hard one. i love poetry books, classics like emily dickinson and more recent like rupi kaur. novel wise i love anything by stephen king, pride and prejudice by jane austen too. graphic novel wise haikyu!! and fruits basket. promised neverland, though i’m not caught up yet, is a new favorite too.

EIGHT ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ): crossing field by LiSA

NINE ( LAST SHOW WATCHED ):  darling in the franxx and promised neverland.

TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ):  depends on the muse of course. when it comes to my oc’s they all have little bits of myself in them, it’s the reason i love and connect with them so much. i put my passions, my traumas, my dreams, my personality traits into all of them. i like to think it really helps develop them and make them so long running and strong. some examples of that: honey is who i want to be, totally kind and loving to everything. just a over all good person that uses her trauma to make the world better instead of hiding away. renae is who i am, closed off and trying to find my way in the world. she puts on a tough face and acts like nothing hurts her when really she is struggling to remember who she is. bodhi is my struggles with depression. banyan my struggles with anger and letting people in. birdy is my desire to be loved. cami is my desire for bigger things and better places personified. i could keep going obviously, i haven’t even mentions the canons yet but --- you get the point.

ELEVEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): it’s pretty straightforward, lovers meeting finally. i think it’s a beautiful thing when two people who were suppose to find each other finally do.

[rpschtuff]

Carrd.co

Hello roleplayers!! Are you looking for an easy, good-looking, and accessible place to host your blog info on outside of Tumblr? Is Google Docs just not cutting it for you? Then I have a solution for you. Consider checking out Carrd.co.

Carrd lets you create “simple, free, fully responsive one-page sites for pretty much anything.” And I know what you’re thinking -- ‘One page? Surely I can’t put all my info on just one page!’ But I assure you, you can. Despite being technically one page, your content can be easily spread across multiple sections for clear organization, much like a blog with pop-ups or tabs here on Tumblr.

Check out this sample site I whipped up to see what I mean.

In this post, I will walk through how I made this sample Carrd site, to demonstrate how simple and customizable it is. But first, to answer what you’re already wondering -- what makes Carrd any better than Google Docs? And I have three answers for you:

There is no issue of privacy or security. Your account name and email is not accessible anywhere on your Carrd site, nor are any viewers visible.

Carrd is much more mobile friendly than Google Docs. I don’t even attempt to open Docs on my phone anymore, as they’re a bit of a nightmare and I can never do it anonymously. But I’ve never once struggled with a Carrd site. Everything is automatically put into a mobile friendly format, and if the automatic settings do mess up, you have the ability to go in and manually change how things will be displayed on mobile.

This may be a bit more personal opinion, but I found Carrd easier to customize as far as colors, images, backgrounds, etc. After about ten minutes, I was comfortably manipulating all of the elements on my site, and much happier with the end result than anything I’ve seen on Docs.

Join me under the cut for a walkthrough of creating the site linked above.

As a note, I’m not intending this to be a full guide to all of Carrd’s features, just a general overview to see how things are laid out. It’s fairly intuitive so once you see the basics, you should be able to play around with it more and get your site just the way you want it.

When you create a Carrd account, you will be given this screen. (If you’re on the main dashboard instead, click New Site.)

You can either explore premade templates below, or you can start from scratch by clicking the link in “blank canvas”. I prefer a blank slate myself, but I encourage you to check out the templates if they seem easier for you.

After clicking “blank canvas” you will arrive at this screen.

These are just Carrd’s instructions. I’ll hit ‘Okay, got it!’ to get rid of it.

The first thing I want to do is customize the background. It’s a good starting point. To do that, click on the three lines in the top right corner...

...and select Background.

Options will open on the left side of the screen, as seen here. Your customization options are fairly straightforward.

You can change the color...

Or change it to something else entirely. I’m going to use an image.

After uploading your image, you have the option to recrop it.

Now I hit accept, and this will be my site’s background.

There are other options as well, that can reposition the image, change its size, tile it, etc.

I can also add a gradient or a pattern to this image. I’m going to scroll down to Overlay and select Gradient.

And change those colors and the angle a bit.

Ahh, lovely. I’ll also add a pattern...

But that looks rather ugly. I think I’ll play with the color, size, and thickness a bit more.

I like that. Nice and subtle. Let’s call the background done.

Now let’s customize the page itself. This isn’t necessary, if you like the text directly on top of your background, but I like how neat it looks.

Go back to the three lines, and this time select Page.

Under Style, I’m going to change Default to Box.

You can change the position, padding, and other settings of the box in this sidebar. Personally, I want to round the corners...

...change the color...

...and change the opacity.

I’d also like to add a border...

...plus a customized drop shadow.

And we’ll call that done.

Now! Let’s see what this site looks like on mobile. In the top right menu, to the left of the save icon, is an icon that looks like a phone. Click that.

As you can see, your view resized to demonstrate how your site will appear to a mobile user. It’s a very good reference. I’m going to switch back to desktop now (the same button, which now looks like a computer monitor).

Let’s get some content on this site now! I’m going to start with the text that’s already present, that says ‘Nothing here yet! :)’. Click on that.

Options for this text will appear. First, I’m going to click the word Text itself. This will cycle through various options, such as default text, headings, subheadings, etc. I want this to be my site title, so I settle on that. (This step isn’t necessary at all, but I find it helps keep me a bit more organized.)

Now, for the content itself. The box is where I enter what I want this text to say. Markdown instructions for bold, italics, links, etc. are always below the box for easy reference.

I want to change how this text looks. Above Site Title, you’ll see an icon that looks like a paintbrush. Click it to reveal the next tab.

Here you can change color, font, size, weight, and anything else that strikes your fancy. There are a lot of options here and they’re pretty straightforward, so play around with it. Here’s what I settled on.

Remember you can check it on mobile, as well.

Time to add more text. Let’s start with a bio, maybe?

Hit the plus sign in the upper right menu to add new content, then select text.

By default, new text will match the formatting of the most recent text used. I’m going to the first tab, the one marked A, and making this text Paragraph.

Then I go back to the paintbrush tab to make some changes to the style.

Then back to the first tab to add some content. I’m just dropping in some lorem ipsum, since this is only a sample. Obviously you’d want something a bit more practical here.

Let’s say I want a link in there. I’ll follow the markdown format to get one (instructions are below the box, as always).

Now it’s in there, as the third sentence. You can see it underlined. But I want to customize that link. If I go back to the paintbrush tab, options for Link and Hover have appeared. I can change the color there.

And if I scroll all the way down, I can change the link style from Underlined to Plain.

That looks nice. I’ll call that done.

Let’s add a subheading to that section. I’ll add another text box.

Then click and drag it above the previous one.

On the first tab, I’m going to change this one to Main Heading.

Then customize it as before.

Now for the actual text itself.

Lovely.

Let’s add some rules! I want to add a new title, so for that, I’m going to select the text that says About. Then in the bottom left is a button that looks like two overlapping squares. This will copy the text, so we don’t need to reformat it identically.

Click and drag the new title where you want it, and change the text to what you want.

I’m going to add a list now. It’s one of. the other options under the plus sign.

As you can see, some bullet points have appeared. Markdown instructions are still under the box where you enter the content. I’m going to fill it with lorem ipsum again.

Under the paintbrush tab, you’ll see that there are multiple tabs. The first lets you change some style and formatting.

The second lets you change the bullets themselves. I’m going to play with that a bit.

The third lets you change the actual text formatting. (I don’t know why my purple bullet points disappeared, I must have hit an undo at some point without noticing. Pretend they’re still purple.)

And I’ll call that done.

Mobile check!

Not bad.

But the question of the hour, how do you make these separate pages? Let me show you. Under the plus sign, choose Control.

A blue dotted line will appear. Drag this to the top of what you would like to be a new section.

On the left tab, the type should read Section Break. Type in something simple and easy to remember under Name.

This has designated everything under the Control as a new section. We need to create a link to it in the very first section.

I prefer to use Buttons for this, but any link option on this site should work. I’m going to add a Button under the Sample Site title.

By clicking the small word Button (inside the box on the left tab), I can change its settings.

The Label is what the button will actually say. The URL is where the button will take me. I can enter any URL, but if I enter the name of the Control I made with a # in front of it, it will take me to that section.

There are options to. change colors of each button individually, but I prefer to go to the paintbrush tab and change their appearance altogether, so each new button in this group will look the same.

Unfortunately, you can’t properly preview the section breaks while you’re editing. So I’m going to publish this site now so I can view it. Go to the three lines in the top right and choose Publish. Fill out all the options there, then hit Publish. (You can also save as a draft here, if you want to keep your progress but aren’t ready to publish yet, but this doesn’t let you preview it properly.)

Now, if I hit view site, I will be able to see it properly. And as you can tell...

It only displays everything up until that first section break. And when I click the About button that I made...

...everything else appears.

So it’s working! Let’s go back to the editor and add another section break for the rules.

(As a note, you can also set something as a Scroll Point rather than a Section Break, so that any links will scroll down to that spot as opposed to hiding then revealing a new section. You may prefer that option, it’s in the dropdown under Type.)

Now I want to go back to my button...

...scroll down on the left options tab and choose Add.

This creates a second button within this group, that I can edit the same as the first.

Lovely. Let’s preview this in mobile quickly.

Notice how the buttons automatically resized for full width on mobile, and are displaying differently than they appeared on desktop? This is by default, but you can change this behavior if you wish. Select the buttons, and on the paintbrush tab, scroll all the way down until you see Mobile.

By default, it’s set to Auto, where it makes its best guess at what will work for mobile. If you switch to Manual, you can change its behavior.

If I change the dropdown under Layout from Stack to Default, it will display as it does on desktop.

For something as simple as buttons, this likely doesn’t matter, and full width buttons may actually be more mobile friendly. But it’s important to know where these options are, in case something is actually broken on mobile and requires fixing. Check everything on your site in mobile to make sure it actually works.

Let’s publish this again to preview it now.

Our new button looks good, and both redirect you to the appropriate place.

But wait!! Once you’re in one section... there’s no button to get back!! I’m trapped!! This is very important. Always provide a way to leave the current section, so your viewer doesn’t get stuck somewhere on your site.

The easiest way to do this is to add a new Control on your first section, called #home. Then, at the bottom of each section, add a button that will link back to it. (You could also add buttons for all the sections at the bottom of each, but I find that more tedious to set up. But it’s entirely down to your preference.)

Now if you republish the site, it should all be functional, and you can navigate it with ease.

Let’s check the actual site on mobile, too. I’m going to actually get out my phone and go to the URL.

It all looks good there, so I will call this one done.

And that’s a rough guide to using Carrd.co! Obviously this is geared more towards my style and preferences, but there are so many ways to customize this to suit your needs and tastes. I also didn’t cover things like images and videos, as I feel they’re pretty straightforward.

A few notes:

Carrd currently limits free users to only three sites per account. However, Gmail’s alias trick and SessionBox totally work. I run multiple Carrd accounts as easily as I run multiple Tumblrs.

A free Carrd site can only have up to 100 items on it. For my sites, I haven’t even come close to that limit, but I can see larger blogs or multimuses potentially struggling with that.

[goljath-a]

yeah I’m jumping on the bandwagon apparently

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME ): voyd ( can you believe that it took me nearly six years on this hellsite to pick an alias- )

TWO ( BIRTHDAY ): October 24th

THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): Scorpio

FOUR ( HEIGHT ): ... heh

FIVE ( HOBBIES ): writing ( obviously ), drawing, video gaming ... recently ( as in, like, the past year or so ) I’ve been trying to get into more textile hobbies: knitting, sewing / embroidery, weaving, etc. I also like doing jigsaw puzzles! but I rarely have the time or space to do them :’(

SIX ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ): ugh ... it’s been a Hot Minute since I’ve sat down and actually read a proper book because of my #ADHD, but off the top of my head I can remember these all-time favorites: The Lord of The Rings trilogy by J.R.R Tolkien, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson, Lord of the Flies by William Golding, and I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid. for the most part, though, I’ve been more interested in manga / comics / graphic novels lately, ESPECIALLY all the works of Junji Ito.

SEVEN ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ): Acid Rain (cover) - Lorn / ArtificialFear

EIGHT ( LAST SHOW / MOVIE WATCHED ): I’m about halfway through the Night Stalker documentary on Netflix ... which I need to finish before I forget all the details lmao ...

NINE ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ): I refer back to the beginning of the the series a lot ... something about the Attack Titan’s first appearance during the Battle for Trost District just Hits Different for me. In fact, the main reason I was drawn to SnK as a series was because of all the mystery surrounding the Titans ( and tbh I think Isayama squandered all of the cool potential they had with his inconsistent lore but anyone following me is likely already aware of this- ). uh, other than worldbuilding, I hoard a lot of quotes / songs / aesthetic pictures ... but really, I think I created Jäger to act as an outlet for a lot of my repressed emotions - this was way back during a time in my life where I was still undiagnosed for a LOT of mental illnesses, and I was struggling with feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, anger, resentment, and yearning. not to overshare but writing Jäger helped me cope with my trauma, so he’s definitely my comfort muse hhgkhjk

TEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): nothin’ fancy - “goljath” is just the Hebrew spelling of “goliath” ( thank you gia for securing this banger url for me uwu ). I’ve also had two different urls in the past: humanwrath ( direct quote from SnK ch.8: “... it’s like I’m bearing witness to the manifestation of humanity’s wrath!” ), and abherrant ( meant to be combination spelling of the words “aberrant” and “abhorrent” ).

tagged by: @gerichteter​ <3 tagging: everyone’s been tagged already lmao

[echo-bleu]

Chapters: 4/6 Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: Mature Relationship: Malec Summary: Over the ten months that follow Alec's deal with Asmodeus, Alec struggles to adapt to a world without Magnus in it, Magnus falls in love all over again and everyone just tries to make it through another day. or Alec is dying from venom poisoning and Magnus doesn't even remember him.

Since I changed my url, all my links are broken, so this seems like the right time to stop posting anything that’s not a one-shot on tumblr. AO3 is just so much better.

Preview:

If there is one thing particularly troubling about missing memories, it’s having no context to understand your own actions. Magnus asked Catarina, early on, to summarize the things he’s forgotten that are relevant for his job and political position, and it was one of the most bizarre conversations of Magnus’ life.

It seems that an impressive number of things happened in the last three years that he felt the need to erase from his memories, and Magnus doesn’t understand how any of them came to pass. The most baffling to him is his apparent decision to ally with the Seelie Queen, of all people, which led him to losing his position as High Warlock of Brooklyn. He has vague memories of getting half the warlocks in the city to erect wards to keep in Valentine – and none of Valentine’s eventual demise, or how it all ended.

He remembers his annoyance toward Lorenzo Rey, but not how the irritating warlock handled his first year as Magnus’ replacement. And he definitely doesn’t remember whatever it is that made the warlock look at Magnus with the strange mixture of hatred and compassion that has characterized every one of their interactions in the past year.

Which is why, when he finds himself on the steps of the New York Institute for the second time in a month, charged to argue for his recently-arrested colleague, Magnus feels singularly out of his depth.

“I’m here to see Jace Herondale,” he says when the door opens. It seems safer to start there than to go straight to Alec, which is why Magnus texted Jace first.

Read on AO3.