#I was so nervous posting this I have rewritten this like 6 times

[skynapple]

Budding Romance | Ch. 22

Love and Deepspace | Jeremiah x MC / slow-burn / friends-to-lovers | Themes: angst, guilt, fluff

warnings: none

Multi-chapter | A03 link

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"Tulips." Jeremiah is a mess, but shares the meaning of tulips.

She ended up staying most of the day, sleeping a little longer and then leaving to change and eat at her own home, returning later with the key he’d given her to work in the back. It was almost that she fit naturally there, amongst the florals in the back, seated at his desk, working on her own things, or at least that’s what he thought. A few times he glanced over at her screen, smirking a little that it very much appeared that she was online shopping.

When he wasn’t busy, she perused the shop, making small conversation with him. She was as talkative as ever, about her work, about things she was into, asking questions on what he was working on.

“I’m not distracting you, am I?” She asked at some point.

“No,” he said softly, smiling as he pruned some leaves on a large bouquet.

I want to know everything about who you are. I want to know everything.

As she continued, he couldn’t help but wonder what her and Xavier ever talked about. If he knew all these things about her already, if she hung around him so often, if she ever whined at him when she wanted something or if he was used to her dramatics. It almost felt like he was seeing things that he wasn’t supposed to. At the same time, he greedily was grateful for it, knowing it couldn’t possibly last.

When he realized she intended to stay all day, he managed to convince her to go make a reservation for them in the afternoon instead of waiting around for him to finish closing and cleaning up. She agreed and left, giving him time to hurry through the tasks and head to one of the rooms in the back that he kept a spare change of clothes. Taking note that he looked like he worked all day, suddenly upset that his hair didn’t look right, and that he didn’t have time to do anything about it.

Nevertheless, he met her at the restaurant, sliding into the booth across her, on time. She was smiling in a way that he’d gotten used –addicted even– to seeing. They talked more, laughing and eating together. It felt like fresh air. It felt like stepping barefoot into the ocean for the first time on a hot day, a starkly crisp but wonderful feeling.

“I’ve never asked you,” she said shyly, poking at the food on her plate while all he could do was stare. “What’s your favorite flower?” Although his favorite flowers did not exist on earth, he knew what he usually answered when asked the question, and it was often given his occupation.

“Tulips.” He shrugged. When she questioned it he smiled. “Oh you know. Love, happiness, springtime, that kind of thing. After growing them for a while, I think it’s a cute shape. But you know what? A lot of people like seeing them closed but my favorite thing is - if you give them enough care, they open up so beautifully.”

By the end of the night, he felt bubbly. It was the most time he’d spent with her, he thought, in all of his life. She was swinging his hand, he couldn’t remember when she’d grabbed it, and singing one of the restaurant songs, a little off key. It was a better bliss than anything he’d ever felt in his life.

She nearly tripped in her heels on the sidewalk and he caught her, laughing. There was a whine in her voice as she chided him for doing so, but he didn’t let go, didn’t want to. The streetlights cast a warm glow on her features, creating dancing shadows from her eyelashes, and he could feel her sliding her hand against his chest. He wasn’t sure what possessed him in that moment, a singular thought as she had her arm around his waist now.

If only.

Her hand slid up around his neck.

If only…

He lowered his head and she rose a little higher.

If only you loved me instead. I wish you loved me the way you loved him.

Warmth reached his lips and he felt his whole being melt into her, moving slowly against her, feeling the way she pressed into him. It wasn’t enough. He slid both hands against her waist, chest burning at the sensation of the kiss, deepening it as he turned his head. Hearing her soft moan as he did, making the ache in his center worse. Her fingers wrangled through the hair on the back of his head, giving him chills. It became a dizzying blur, heart pounding into his head, drowning out any reason, all he could feel was her, all he could think was her, all he wanted was her, all that mattered was her in his hands. 

When they broke, breathless, he could see her smiling against him, only observing him for a second before leaning forward again to kiss the corner of his mouth, making him move to complete it, wondering if it wasn’t enough for her either. Suddenly he understood, feeling how much she wanted this, wanted him. How long? Since when?

"'Miah." She breathed against his lips.

No, please don't do this to me. Please not like that.

He pulled away from their blissful passion, taking her in. It would only last a moment before felt cold dread set it, along with shame, knowing the this time, he went too far.

How did this happen?

For the first time in a long time, maybe ever, Jeremiah wanted to be selfish. Guilt wrestling with desire. He pressed his cheek against hers, holding tightly to her, vaguely keeping an eye on the quiet nighttime surroundings. He wondered if she could feel the incessant beating of his heart, she wondered if it was loud enough for her to hear. 

“I had a great night, ‘Miah.” She said softly against him.

No, no, no, no. What have I done?

To avoid startling her, he pressed his forehead to hers, begging all the gods he believed in to let him have her for just one more moment. Seeming to pick up on something wrong, she pulled away, ducking her head to see his expression.

“Everything ok?” She asked, concern ridden in her eyes.

Jeremiah felt his stomach turn at the reality of it all setting in. “I can’t… we can’t do this.”

Her eyebrows furrowed but she did not release him from her grasp. “What are you talking about?”

Swallowing hard, he averted his gaze from hers. “…Xavier.”

“What?”

“I’m so… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to get in the way. I’m so…”

Attempting to soothe him, she ran a hand through his hair again and shushed him. “Wait. Wait, Jer… Shh, look at me. Jer?” Her finger drew up to his chin, guiding him toward her, the gentle action being the only reason he was able to face her again.

“Jer, wait, there wasn’t ever anything going on between me and Xavier. How could you think that?”

Jeremiah played her words on repeat over and over.

She did not hold affection for Xavier in that way, at least not in this world. That much, now, was clear. At first he questioned if she had back then too, but quickly disregarded. Back then, he was sure they lived and breathed for each other.

So what had changed?

Guilt swirled in his mind. Was this somehow his fault? Was it Xavier's for not encouraging it more? Was he too distant with her?

To him, Xavier had always been too distant both physically and emotionally with her. In the past, it was one of the reasons he had somehow become the middle person. He wondered for a moment if he didn't encourage her in Xavier's direction enough. Then again, in the past she never needed his help too much, and in the past if she did ask for help, any of his surefire ways to spur Xavier into action had always worked. Why were things backfiring?

It occurred to him that the woman he'd known had an entirely different upbringing. She was born with a purpose, quite literally to always be at Xavier's side. This version of her... hadn't.

She had close family members that she'd grown up with, in stark contrast to her alternate self. This version of her had her own self accomplished hopes, dreams, goals, hobbies, habits, and was brilliantly independent. Could he have seen the woman he knew back then devising a plan to beat a video game that served absolutely no purpose to her real life? No, probably not, not when it either didn't have to do with the man she adored or didn't serve purpose to being a Grandis Knight. And yet... it was still the same determination and grit she always had, just applied differently. He had always loved seeing it.

He had never, ever considered the possibility that a world could exist where she loved anyone else, where her gaze wasn't looking outward towards the stars, waiting for someone else. Here, this brand new individual, with brand new thoughts, and brand new devotion, brand new livelihood... was a version that did not love Xavier with every fiber of her being.

And he had no idea what do with that.

She spoke, interrupting his raging thoughts. “Why did you think there was something going on?” When he didn’t respond, she shifted even closer against him, as if she even could. “Jeremiah…does he…?”

He took a breath. "You... don't like him? At all?”

“No! I never did. I'm so sorry you thought so.” At that, she huffed a sigh and flicked his cheek lightly, the sensation making him snap out of the glazed look that had befallen him. “Dummy.” She said.

At that he looked up at her, looking stunned, but taking in the way she was looking at him. It was the way she always looked at him before.

He couldn’t say what he really wanted to. Silently he gave a slow nod, not able to verbalize anything coherent in that moment.

I can’t take you away from him. He needs you.

“Jer, look at me.” At that she broke away from him, letting a hand linger on her upper arm. Now, he observed, she looked a little upset. Rightly so.

“Were you just…were you just trying to get me and him together? Did you even care?”

“No! God, no.” He said quickly, not liking the weakness in his voice. It was half true, at first, but he needed her to know that that’s not what this was. “Of course I care.”

“Then!” It was almost like she pouted, but she still looked compassionate. “You can’t make people feel what they don’t feel. He has to know that. Besides, he’s never given me a proper confession. What matters is what you feel.” Now she seemed nervous, but in her tone was the same guiding strength that made her such a great leader in the first place. “What do you want?”

"You don't... you don't understand." He set his hands on her arms, trembling, emotions threatening to spill.

“Fine.” She frowned, the hurt in her voice spilling through. “Don’t tell me.” She started to walk away from him, tearing him apart inside.

I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't.

"You don't know what you do to me.” He said after her, attempting to catch up. When she didn’t look his direction, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes, but he would not let them fall. He took a few broad steps and caught hold of her arm, calling her name as he did.

This is wrong. 

“I am so... I'm so in love with you."

That answer was enough for her. "I am too."

The answer created knots in his stomach as she embraced him again. It rang in his mind though, and he couldn't help but start to smile, against his will, against all his better judgement. For now, he reasoned not to make her sad, wanting to enjoy her a little longer, wanting her to be his a little longer.

Gingerly, he stepped away, taking her hand in up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. They were a little dry in texture from all the work in her profession. “I’m sorry I just. I thought you…”

She shook her head. “No, Jer. No. It’ll be ok. I’ll talk to him-"

Now he shook his head, the dread setting in again and he patted her hand. “I’ll worry about that. Let’s get you home.”

—

This time he walked her inside. He didn’t mean to stay, knew that he couldn’t. But she pulled him in, tugging at his jacket to pull him into her as the door closed behind them. It felt magnetizing.

He could just as well sense her desire as she looked at him, drawing closer. He had never felt so weak against her whiles before. In the stillness and darkness of her living room, he kissed her again, telling her goodnight as he did. It felt like a mistake. For all of her long-held desire, she wouldn't let him go. 

Vaguely he could feel her hands on his chest, then where they moved to hold him tighter, then it was a sensation of her hands in his hair again, almost tugging at him, whispering his name in bated breaths between her kisses. He repeated her name back to her in reverence. The jacket he wore became like a prison and he ripped it off, giving him more ability to hold her. She mischievously used the opportunity to accidentally brush her fingers against his skin from where his shirt lifted up. The candle inside him that had threatened to blow out was set ablaze.

When neither could breathe again, they broke, and he rested against her, not able to remember how they'd made their way to the couch. Not wanting to move, he had stayed put, and found himself tangled in her, her hands everywhere on him with strength and passion. It was mesmerizing, mind numbing passion. She felt so good. Indulging himself in her touch felt like scratching an itch, a deep itch on something he definitely was forbidden to scratch. Still, he managed to hold himself back, fearing they were teetering on the edge of crossing another line.

Long past midnight, he awoke, still on her couch, feeling the weight and warmth of her head against his chest. She had rolled over and wrapped herself around him in her sleep. 

As he was contemplating how to maneuver himself out of her grasp, he felt the hum of her voice against his chest and though nothing much was comprehensible, he did hear one thing:

‘Miah.

The sensation of warmth and familiarity coursed through him. When he'd known her before, they never used nicknames. It was somewhat a respect thing, somewhat a culture thing. He realized he had never had a personal nickname for or from her before. He wondered if now, he could.

It was undeniable. As she murmured his name in her sleep again, arms wrapped around his waist, all the rushing thoughts from earlier settled into place.

He knew a few things now.

One, that whatever world they were in, or whatever version of her this was, somehow she ended up not being romantically interested in Xavier. At least, not yet. Not now.

Two, he knew what this was between them.

He felt his arms lift up around her, holding her, pressing his lips to the top of her head, taking in the scent of her.

He just didn't know when it started, or for how long he'd felt this way about her. He wondered if it started centuries ago. Maybe it had, but so deeply buried that it just was never a consideration in his mind. Out of respect, he'd kept a safe distance. 

I love her.

As it stood, he had two options. He could be the honorable man and leave, and maybe give her the room to fall for Xavier because he considered that maybe they just hadn't had enough time. Or...

He felt his fingers dance through the stray strands of her hair. 

I love her so much.

Swallowing hard, he began to move her off him delicately, trying to think of how best to quietly leave. Then he felt her strong arms clamp back down around him.

"No..." She moaned, much like a little kid.

"Sorry. I didn't want to wake you up,” He whispered.

"Don't leave."

He felt a lump gather in his throat. The ache in his chest was growing and growing.

He drew in a shaky breath. "I can't stay."

She nuzzled her head into his shoulder. “Mmph…’Miah…Please.”

He felt his whole being melt, caressing her close to him now, giving in and burrowing his head against hers. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Because." She responded, although barely awake.

He hummed in response against her. He had never once considered himself a weak man. But tonight, the entirety of the evening up to then, he had never felt so weak to her desires.

After a moment more of breathing her in, he attempted to get up again.

"Nooo." She whined as he tore himself from her, and he felt his insides knit together. He wanted to crash back into her. 

"I have to go..."

She didn't look all that more awake, but he could feel her gaze on him in the dark.

“Please.”  It sounded curt. It killed him inside. 

He hesitated, not wanting to pull away from her. “I have to go.”

Grumbling, she moved enough for him to get off the couch, but shifted to face away from him after. The action told him she was upset about it, and it made him adore her even more. 

He leaned over, kissing her temple gently. “Goodnight, tulip.”

“Mmmph…” She moaned with an upset tone, but when she turned to face him, in the dark he could see the flash of a smile as she muttered against the couch. “Night.”

[playertale-au]

[NOTICE] Thank you for the 300+ followers. To celebrate, bits of PLAYER!Tale AU concept( regarding Player) is shared

Reposting because Tumblr decided to post instead of saving it in drafts when I'm not even finished. Love you tumblr!  (╯ᐛ）╯︵ ┻━┻

◇◇◇◇◇

A/N: 

Oh, wow! We actually reach 300+ (as of now 310) followers!

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ 

Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart, I’m glad all of you enjoyed the story despite my art not being that good. I actually wanted to draw for 250 followers but I didn’t realised we passed that milestone. 

Anyways! To celebrate, I wanted to share some concepts regarding the Player based on my memories, though sorry if there is like a black blotched in the drawing as that is considered as spoilers.

To start off, I began creating this AU maybe 5/6 years ago, on and off, (re-writing or removing some stuff along the way) I had loads of concept art and drawings back in 2019 but sadly those old arts were, ummm, forcedly deleted after a disagreement with someone I trusted, haha. The pain for a FT user in ibis paint. ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ

Then 2023, I wanted to move forward. So I decided to give it a shot and start drawing again. I wanted to share my AU (better late than ever),＼＼\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//／／ and also I thought it will help overcome my fear of drawing and start liking to draw again.

Anyway, here we have Player’s design concept (+ explanation):

Version 1:

Player actually does not inhibit Frisk’s body, as they are not trap in the game, instead, they have their own “Avatar” basing on the data and sprites of Frisk and Chara. (The situation is more towards VR? AR? I’m not sure what to call it) The Player has their memories intact.

The story is just Player goofing around in Undertale, until plot happens, but I didn’t really like the idea as I have no clue how to progress the story forward, so the whole story was re-written.

Player mostly hack codes, while Frisk has the Reset/Reload button.

Initially, their eyes didn’t change colour when using abilities. But I wanted to distinguish what and when the abilities are used.

Version 2:

This is where, I decided that the Player actually inhibits Frisk body, though they are not amnesiac. Frisk is like a ghost (narrator?) here. The image above is post-skip version to maybe 1 year trapped in Undertale. This idea was scrap and rewritten due “Chara” ‘s story and I wanted to involved Gaster in the story. (Also, because I didn’t want to draw this version hairstyle anymore, hahaha (  ≧ᗜ≦))

Player has both the hacking and reset/reload abilities.

This version of Player is more uptight and serious.

Version 3:

I think this is like 2nd or 3rd version of the finalise concept. 

Our current Player. I made the hairstyle simpler.

This Player inhibits Frisk body and is amnesiac. The personality shifted so it’s easier for the player to act consistent. This version is more carefree than ver 2, they are similar to ver 1.

First design of the Player (ver 3).

Despite being ver 3, I wanted to keep a bit of the ver 1 and 2 hairstyle but decided not to. Again, I wanted a simpler hairstyle.

This personality is just them being stress and filled with anxiety. A nervous wreck and a crybaby. Cries a lot at the first arc until they pull themselves together. But I didn’t wanna make them cry all throughout the story, if I continued to write them like that, I might ended up smacking Player myself hahaha. I ended up toning down the personality. 

Gaster would have replace Frisk as the ghost (narrator?). But I decided not doing it, because it conflict with the plot. That, and the story would be over much quicker with him around.

Side note: I had to change the relationship between Sans and the Player(hate, confuse, no interaction, chill, idk? etc), a lot of times, but in the end I decided to make him not trust the Player. 

Previously in most iteration, he just hates Player.  I planned to have him to kill the Player the first time they exited the ruins, but decided to go against it as it doesn’t really fit his style. Also, the story would go very differently if he did commit to it. Maybe one day I can make him kill them. In an alternate timeline maybe. ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª

Extras: Player in different outfits (loosely)based on the other fallen humans in this AU. (+ ruin outfit)

There is a reason, why the Player had worn some of these outfits in chapter 3 and 4. 

Don’t worry, it’s not originally the clothes worn by the other children, Toriel made them. She has spares. (Sorry, to the one that find it creepy, when it was first shown, hahahaha)

And, that’s all for now I am able to share, I wanted to show more, but I’m afraid, that’s already in the spoiler territory. 

Anyways-! Thank you again for the follow, each and every one of you are the best! And I hope you enjoyed the upcoming story! 

[starshinedragon]

[Picture source: Eleanor Nightwalker's YT videos] <3

SSO REWRITTEN / FULL STORY SERIES

-> SSO Rewritten is how I would write the main story. The posts will complete the whole main storyline. -> Opening ALL the areas in the horse part of Jorvik (Harvestlands, Winterdale, Springvalley, Summerplains and Jorcrater) -> Story from arriving to Jorvik to defeating Garnok. -> You can find the story related posts with the tags "sso rewritten" and "sso full story series". -> Up to the point where Anne steals the 5-Leaf Clover, I didn’t change anything (unless they did since I played the game lmao), we do it how it is in the game. From that point on, the real party starts. -> The story to come: more detailed descriptions of scenes, unlocking new areas, new factions, new characters and new storylines!

So saddle up and get ready for an adventure!

In this post: Characters Harvestlands: Phase 1-2-3 Winterdale: Phase 4-5-6 Springvalley: Phase 7-8-9 Summerplains: Phase 10-11-12 Final Battle: Phase 13-14-15

CHARACTERS

Rules: --SSL (Starshine Legacy) is the most sacred canon: can’t change it. --Consistent SSO lore, exploring the same Themes as SSL. --Characters staying true to their original SSL selves. --Use Star Shine Legacy and Star Stable Season riders heavily as inspiration. Expand on the stories and worldbuilding suggested in there. --Thus characters’ personalities, magic system, world, etc can’t be changed, only added to. --The Dark Riders are: Sabine and Kaahn (red maned black warmblood, red eyes), Jessica and Erebos (jet-black Friesian), Katja and Tyrann (dapple grey Arabian with light blue eyes), Elise and Acheron (light maned, dark body Rocky Mountains horse)

A, SOUL RIDERS

LISA (Heart of the 5-man band) --Goth aesthetic, “rocker girl”, punk spiky hair, wears black and blue clothes. --Is still into rock music, looks almost scary, but is the heart of the team. --Music based healing powers. --She was the leader of the team in SSL. In SSO, the leader is Alex, but Lisa also remains important.

LINDA (Smart guy of the 5-man band) --Nerd aesthetic, likes to wear green things. Usually the source of exposition. Scout. --Introverted, but will infodump when scared or nervous. --Teaches MC how to see the visions, see truth and dispel illusions.

ANNE (Lancer of the 5-man band) --Prep aesthetic, wears the trendiest light coloured clothes, likes light blue and pink. --She can get like a moody diva sometimes, but mainly brave, loyal and unconditionally devoted. --Sulking sometimes, but not morose. --Teleporting and light powers to dispel the dark magics.

ALEX (Leader/Big guy of the 5-man band) --Jock aesthetic. Likes to wear red and grey, camo, comfortable or even “fighting” clothes. --The one that usually decides they have to act, the others follow her. Anne’s more calm and collected energy balances out Alex’s hot-headedness. Playful bickering. --Reasonable, listens to others now, warrior with a good heart.

B, DARK RIDERS

SABINE (Strong guy) --Short and thin, with short, black hair. Main colours are red, brown and grey/white. --Rival of Alex. Short, angry powerhouse, bone-headed, many times refusing to listen. --Fiery personality, rich, spoiled brat, who secretly thinks, she’s better, than the other Dark Riders, while being deeply envious of them. --Has fire powers. Emotional, easy to anger, will fall into traps playing into that.

JESSICA (Prideful) --Tall and thin (wanted to be a model), prep/goth aesthetic, wears only black, very fashionable. Green eyes. --Rival of Anne. Both start off as prideful, but Anne learns humility by admitting that Alex leads better, than she would. Jessica never lets go of her pride and feeling of superiority and in the end it will be her downfall and fatal flaw.

KATJA (Smart guy) --White, ice blue and light grey colours. Piercing ice blue eyes. Her hair is unnervingly, unnaturally icy white, almost glows. Wears only white, her flowing coat more fashionable, than warm. Always in the mini skirt outfit, even in the coldest weather as if she’s not cold at all. --Medium height, but the most terrifying of the Dark Riders next to Elise. --Rival of Linda, the only one, who can outsmart her. The only way to defeat her is with the truth. --No violin: while it is a nice aesthetic an all, in SSL, there was nothing about Katja being into music. That alone ofc wouldn’t mean she can’t have it, but the fact that Lisa is into music and Aideen was into music does. Magic through music seems to be connected to the good guys and it is generally a good guy trope, so I would stick with that. But she can absolutely keep her violin theme music, just not as her playing.

ELISE (Hateful) --Dark skin, long black hair in small braids, golden (almost sith) eyes. Violet and black colour scheme. --Rival of Lisa. While she is a healer and peace-mediator, Elise sows discord among people and destroys. --As tall as Jess and also muscular (Sabine’s new model’s body type basically) --Wears camo pants and combat boots, military type clothes, sleeveless tops. --Because Eleanor Nightwalker’s design of her is about as close to perfect as humanly possible.

Main Oppositions Table: attributes, that would guide the writing process

C, SECONDARY CHARACTERS

--HERMAN (Mentor): should be less of a goofball. More mysterious, always knows more than he tells us, but not out of malice or forgetfulness, but to protect MC from the grim truths.

--FRIPP (Mentor): is not an annoying rat in SSL. He is our main mentor and guide, alien and distant, but not because he’s bad, but because he has lived so long, raised so many generations of Soul Riders to fight Garnok and watched them all fall and die. Also kinda lost faith, that the druids can beat Garnok. Now, he’s trying not to get attached, to not get his heart broken again, when his students fall. Eventually he learns to open up again and gains back his faith in victory.

--MR SANDS (Redeemed Opponent): since he was manipulated to turn bad, he would eventually turn back to good, to our side, after realising all the damage he’s done, driven by his past love for Rosalind and recent one for Justin and the desire to correct his past mistakes. When he helps us and leaves the dark side, comes into conflict with Darko and is injured. In Winterdale, he is recovering in Pine Hill and is now kind of our ally and our greatest source of insight against Darko, who now leads the Dark Riders.

--DEREK (Ally): is not a postman. He is a badass spy, a secret government agent in SSL and he could get secret agent storylines like spying on GED, Dark Core and Mr. Sands’ enterprises. It would be first during his quests, while spying on Mr Sands, that we realize, Sands maybe wants to leave the bad side behind.

[actofgrxce]

So, OFMD is my all time favorite show and I am in love with every single character and have been wanting to try and join the fandom as Stede Bonnet, but I am SO nervous. Only because you, and several others, are just so incredible and I am intimidated but ahhh, I want to do badly write as my pirate princess. Any advice? Or just go for it? I’ve been writing for years, but graphics/theme making are not my forte.

Hey, friend!! Thanks for the kind words!!

I would just GO for it, with the understanding that there's a learning curve to the "rp etiquette" of Tumblr (and some users, as is the way with social media, will be more forgiving and flexible with "mistakes" than others). I would introduce yourself, as you have done here, to people who seem fun and chill, and express your interest in interacting with them IC. 1) Tell them you would be writing Stede. 2) Read their rules page (usually there is a pinned post at the top of a writer's blog offering a mobile-friendly link to their rules, which is basically how they prefer to interact with other writers, how often, in what format, what the writer's or "mun's" triggers are, etc) and tell them that you have: this seems to be a real sign of good faith around here. 3) Collect a small list of people (maybe 4 or 5) to start with, and follow them. If your rp blog is a "sideblog" to a main account, also let them know that, so that when a non-rp blog (you) follows them, they know who the heck it is! I cannot underscore enough how important it is to find people with whom you jive ooc, as yourselves. It simply will not be fun if you don't. So take your time with this part! 4) Make your blog. Customize your theme as much or little as you like, but a good rule of thumb is to at least make an "About the Muse" page (muse's story), a "Rules" (do's and don't's of interacting with you) page, and a "Verses" (discrete story timelines, usually grouped by how much you adhere to canon or by romantic "ships") page. Your muse is a "canon" muse: that is, a muse that already exists in the official fandom universe. 5) If you don't have it already, GET XKIT REWRITTEN (a browser extension that lets you alter Tumblr's increasingly perplexing and user-unfriendly interface, lol. There are versions for both Chrome and Firefox. 6) Start writing. You rp on Tumblr by reblogging a person's IC (in-character) post to your blog, and adding a text reply. They then reblog you. And so on and so forth. Here is where you consult their rules page to know things like: are they okay if I trim posts? Are they okay with me dm'ing them to ask for replies? What's the most courteous way to use tags in order to easily find past writing or filter my blog? How explicit can writing with this partner get re violence or s*xual themes? Etc. Everyone is different.

Re making your blog fancy: You do NOT need to be well-versed in Photoshop, themes and coding in order to run a blog. A lot of people now rp on Tumblr Mobile, where theme graphics don't show up anyway. Those who still use graphics vary, but most of us really don't care if our writing partners use them as long as we can continue to do so.

However, if you're still anxious, I've got a couple graphics and rpg sources right off the bat that can help you tremendously:

@poohsources (your one stop shop for EVERYTHING theme, icon, rp etiquette, formatting, etc related. A very kind soul) @octomoosey (best free blog theme coder on Tumblr!)

and if you're willing to pay for codes and graphics, I can also recommend a few good friends.

Also, if you have further questions, come to me. My anonynous ask option is usually on. <3

(Anyone reading this, feel free to add on your suggestions!)

[pepperonidk]

i. the gentle indifference of the world || all my love

"I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world." - The Stranger; Albert Camus

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x f!Reader Summary:  He's cool, smart, attractive... and completely out of your league. But that won't stop you from falling head over heels for him. Warnings: none Word Count: (i’ll be right by ur side till) 3005 A/N: i've rewritten this chapter like 6 times bc i was so nervous but uh it's finally out in the world heyooo. can anyone guess what anime this was based off?

take a look at my pinned post to see how to join the aml taglist! back to library || next chapter

If you had listened to the rational voice in your head when your dad broke the news to you, you wouldn’t be in this situation.

If you had started making a list of things to pack, if you had called either of your two best friends immediately after, if you decided to be sane for 12 minutes, you wouldn’t be in this situation.

However, hindsight is 20/20, but in terms of foresight? You shouldn’t be allowed near the driver’s seat of any vehicle. Because instead of making any of the simple rational decisions after your father mentioned the possibility of moving across the country, you chose to sit down at your desk and write a letter. Fountain pen in hand and a candle burning beside you, for 12 minutes you were a character in a Jane Austen novel. Probably Lydia Bennett of all people, but a Jane Austen character nonetheless.

And that letter was how you found yourself in this situation – mortified and surrounded by whispers and stares, but worst of all, the icy glare of Jeon Wonwoo was fixed on the pretty pink card in your hands.

A simple “no thanks,” and that was it, but why did it feel like time stopped? One word was enough to crumble your fragile heart and you froze right in place. It wasn’t until you felt a pair of arms wrap around you that you began to breathe again, and blood rushed back into your brain enough for you to see Wonwoo turn the corner and disappear.

Once you finally felt your heartbeat return to normal, you looked around to see the empty classroom you were in and you let out a sigh.

“You ready to tell us what just happened?” one concerned voice asked. Seokmin’s voice was always gentle, always cheerful, usually loud, but the softness in his tone this time tipped you over the edge and you felt the sting of fresh tears in your eyes. He knelt down to look you in the eye as your other friend, Mingyu, helped you to sit at a desk.

Another sigh and you finally began to explain. “My dad said we might be moving in a couple of weeks,” you started, feeling your heart sink at the looks of hurt on your friends’ faces. “So I guess part of me panicked and I decided to tell Wonwoo how I felt.”

Now it was Mingyu’s turn to let out a sigh. The ever rational, ever charming Mingyu, who could see the end of any problem. His sigh was not out of pity, but out of frustration. “You know you could’ve called us right? We could’ve talked this through, came up with a better way to do this.” You knew that Mingyu and Seokmin would not have let you go through with the idea if you had called, but you appreciated the fact that he didn’t say that.

“I know,” you began to argue. “But I don’t know, part of me… hoped he would say yes.” You didn’t miss the way Mingyu and Seokmin’s eyes went wide as you mumbled the end of your sentence. “At least anything but whatever the hell happened today.”

You knew Mingyu was holding himself back. In his head he runs through every scenario before he acts, actually somewhat calculating underneath his laid-back exterior. He knew this was the most likely scenario, but he would never tell you that, so he lets out a sigh instead and turns his attention to the math equations written on the whiteboard. 

Seokmin on the other hand was a reactor. His heart was on his sleeve and his anger at seeing his best friend upset was clear in his furrowed eyebrows and shaky voice. “I just don’t get why you keep wasting your time on him,” he confessed. “He’s too dense for his own good and he’s not particularly nice either. He’s smart academically, but stupid in every other way. He’s really not worth it.”

Mingyu turned around, surprised at Seokmin’s outburst. “Seokmin,” he called out. “Aren’t you friends with him?”

Seokmin scoffed in response. “What about it?” he answered back. “You guys are stupid too, but we’re still friends.” A beat of silence passed as the three of you stared at each other, unblinking, before laughter broke the stillness. It was moments like this that made you pause to appreciate the two boys you called your best friends. Although life had its ups and downs, the downs never lasted long, not when you had two loving friends to pull you right back up.

You stood up, a renewed sense of pride and determination filling you up. “You’re right Seokmin,” you exclaimed and Seokmin gave you a thumbs up in return. “Boys are stupid.” Mingyu and Seokmin shared a shocked look.

“Well that’s not–” Seokmin began to protest.

“I’m not stupid,” Mingyu started a little too loudly and boldly. “I wouldn’t have turned you down.” 

He finished his sentence softly as he watched you walk out of the classroom door. Seokmin placed a comforting arm around Mingyu’s shoulders. “I wouldn’t have turned you down either Mingyu,” he teased as Mingyu shoved him to the side.

Despite your renewed sense of pride, the quietness of your study period left you too much time to think and you found yourself lost in a sense of nostalgia as you sat at a table in the library.

The first time you met Wonwoo was still painted clear as day in your mind. 

You were a freshman searching for solace amidst the chaos of high school on the first day and you had found yourself in the library. Until now, it was a place of peace for you, but especially so on that first day. 

Running your fingers along the aisles of books, you found one that you wanted to read. The Stranger, by Albert Camus, sitting right at the top shelf, pushed just a little too far back for you to be able to wiggle it out. You let out a sigh, and rolled up your sleeve, embarrassed that your next plan of attack was to climb the shelf to be able to reach the book. You braced yourself, shutting your eyes and taking a deep breath, when a baritone chuckle snapped you out of your thoughts. 

You had opened your eyes to see an arm  reaching past you to grab a book off the shelf– your book. In your head you cursed his long legs and arms, but as you met eyes with the boy, you felt your heart sink down to your toes and shoot right back up and suddenly you didn’t want to read a book that was so nihilist anymore. Meursault may not have found it, but love suddenly became something that mattered.

He handed the book in your direction and you had to force your attention to his words and away from his face. “Were you trying to get this?” he asked.

“Huh?” you blinked before looking down at the book you were no longer interested in. “Oh, yeah, I was but, I don’t know if I want to read it anymore.”

He hummed and nodded in response as he inspected the book. “The Stranger,” He read. “Is it good?” 

“Yeah, if you’re into stories about life having no meaning,” you explained, suddenly flustered at the way he seemed to take your words seriously.

“I see,” he replied. “Then do you think life has no meaning? It seemed like you wanted this book pretty badly.” The weight of his question startled you as you tried to stammer out a response but before you could get anything significant out, his watch beeped and he was already turning his back to you. “Thanks for the book recommendation,” he called back, waving the book in the air.

That day, Wonwoo stole not only your book, but your affections. 

For the next four years of your life, you found yourself loving him from a distance. You’d see him in the hallways, in class, but you could never bring yourself to say anything to him and you resigned yourself to this distance. It was lonely, but it was safe, and that was good enough for you… until today.

Now, after breaking that distance, you wished you never did. It was easier to never know how he felt about you, to be in love with the memory you had of him rather than be crushed by reality. 

The final bell finally rang and you were more than ready to head home. Outside the quiet bubble of the library, the school was cheering, the drumline playing in the main hall and everyone shouting cheers to the football team, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to celebrate your senior homecoming game with the rest of the school. Instead you found Seokmin and Mingyu and made your way home.

“Welcome home!” 

The sound of your father’s voice filled you with warmth as soon as he opened the door, the joy in his greeting briefly making you forget the events of the day. He wrapped you in a tight embrace, still smelling of spices from his day spent at the restaurant, and led you and your friends into the house. 

Once inside, your dad gave your friends a confused look. “Isn’t tonight your last homecoming game? Shouldn’t you be at the game?” He questioned as the three of you kicked off your shoes and set your backpacks down by the door.

Seokmin looked over to you as he answered, “Nah,” he replied with an easy smile. “The real party is here.” Your dad let out a hearty laugh in response, which the three of you mirrored. 

“I had made way too much dinner for just the two of us, so it’s perfect that you guys are here,” your dad put his arms around Seokmin and Mingyu who cheered in response.

“Well, once I found out you were making the world’s best lasagna, how could I not invite myself over?” Mingyu said. The way your dad beamed back at Mingyu made both you and Seokmin chuckle. Mingyu was both an extremely talented chef as well as an extremely talented eater, and your dad absolutely adored him for it. He was always welcome to the family dinner.

“Careful, dad,” you chimed in. “Between Mingyu and Seokmin, there might not be any left for the two of us.” Your dad laughed in response as Mingyu rolled his eyes and Seokmin nodded. As you settled into the table, you realized your dad wasn’t exaggerating at all when he said he made way too much dinner. The table was lined with lasagna, roasts, vegetables, and lots of side dishes, enough for a feast. “What’s the occasion dad?” You asked as you looked around the table, trying to decide what to eat first. 

Your dad set his silverware down before explaining. “Well,” he began. “To be honest, I felt somewhat bad.” 

“About what?” you asked, your mouth full of lasagna. 

Your dad chuckled as he continued, passing you a napkin. “As I’m sure you’ve explained to your friends,” he gestured to Mingyu and Seokmin. “I accepted the offer to help start the new restaurant. I thought about it some more, and I felt bad that you would have to uproot your whole life right at the end of high school.”

You looked at him, urging him to continue.

“So I contacted my friend from college, the one I meet with for lunch sometimes, and he said that his son also goes to the same school as you and since they have a spare room, he’s offering to take you in for the year.” 

“No shit,” Mingyu exclaimed in response as Seokmin nudged him under the table, giving him a look reminding him to keep his foul language to himself, but your dad just laughed it off.

“That means I get to stay right?” You squealed. “I don’t have to leave?”

“Yes, that’s true,” your dad confirmed. “But it’s only for the year. At the end of your school year, you can move up with me, or if everything goes really well, I’ll be back home early.” He let out a sigh of relief at seeing the way the three of your faces lit up. Ever since you were little, you, Mingyu and Seokmin had been inseparable. You would walk to school and back home together, you would have sleepovers and every meal was spent together. Your dad felt that tearing you away from them right before you would have to separate for college anyway was cruel. 

He cleared his throat as he continued. “I know the situation isn’t ideal, and that you’ll probably miss me so so so much,” he teased. “But I know you’ll be in good hands while I’m away.” He smiled fondly at the two boys sitting around the table who were looking at you with nothing but adoration in their eyes.

The rest of dinner went by quietly. Polite talk here and there, but an overwhelming effort to avoid discussing your father’s move, which was at the end of the week, settled among the four of you. It wasn’t until after dinner, after Seokmin had to go home, that you finally got to process your feelings with Mingyu who stayed behind to help clean up.

“Gyu, you really didn’t have to stay,” You sighed as you leaned against the counter beside him as he turned on the faucet in the sink. “I don’t mind doing the dishes.”

He gave you the same winning smile that he gave your father earlier. “Please,” he began. “It’s the least I could do… you’ve had a long day.” He cocked his eyebrow at you, reminding you of the unopened note that now lay on top of your desk in your room. “How are you feeling?”

You grabbed a dish towel, helping Mingyu dry the dishes he washed, not wanting to meet his eyes. “Like a salad.” Mingyu turned to you with a confused chuckle, waiting for you to elaborate. “I feel so many things right now but I can’t really condense it all into one thing.”

Mingyu hummed thoughtfully before continuing. “Okay, well what’s the lettuce right now? The biggest thing you’re feeling.”

“Hmm…” you thought. “Sad, that my dad is leaving. I’ve never been away from him that long.” 

“Okay, what about the chicken?” You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, appreciating the way Mingyu ran with your simile.

“The chicken… Happy.” You finally gave Mingyu a small smile. “Happy that I get to stay here with you and Seokmin.”

Mingyu smiled back at you. “I’m happy about that too. How are we supposed to be a trio if it’s just me and Seokmin?” 

You rolled your eyes playfully as you swatted his arm with the dish towel. “Gyu, you and Seokmin have enough personality for 13 people. I’m sure you would have found a way.”

He pouted in return, rubbing his arm where you swatted him before slipping back into a smile. “Not true, but whatever,” he relented. He was glad that the trio would remain a trio, but it got him thinking about what the future holds for the three of you. College was never really something you all had discussed in depth. Mostly just vague hypotheticals about what decorations to get for the apartment you’ll share and the kind of classes you’ll all take together. But in every future he could imagine, the three of you were always together.

After that night, the rest of the week passed by in a messy and teary blur, with Mingyu and Seokmin coming over every day to help you pack. Well, “help” was a strong word. They mostly sat on your bed and looked through your knick knacks while asking for snacks. They were also very unhelpful at trying to convince you to “Marie Kondo” your room, as they called it.

Seokmin tried convincing you that maybe you should leave your giant stuffed avocado behind, to which you adamantly argued against because he won it for you at the school carnival last year. Mingyu asked why you still kept your report card from fifth grade in a treasure chest, to which you responded by showing him the teacher’s notes, “Had to separate her from Mingyu and Seokmin. They distract each other and draw pictures on their math homework. Always laughing and smiling in class :)”

Going through your whole room with them was a lot less embarrassing than you had expected, and by the end of the week, you were ready to go with only the essentials packed. Mingyu and Seokmin came to see you off, helping your dad pack your things into the car and they each gave you a big hug before letting you go.

Your dad laughed at the scene, watching the three of you get teary eyed even though you would still see each other every day at school. But when he finally drove off and saw you looking wistfully out the window, he felt a pang in his chest and it reminded him how much he’s going to miss you as well. 

The drive was fun as it always was with your dad, but as he parked in front of a huge house in a very wealthy neighborhood, the grin on your face grew even more. The homes in this neighborhood were much bigger than your own, and you figured you should enjoy yourself while you’re here. Your dad took your hand as the two of you walked to the front door of his college buddy’s home, telling you a silly story about their adventures together in university.

“Oh, I’m so excited you get to meet him,” your dad exclaimed as he rang the bell. “I heard his son is actually in your grade, so maybe you already know him.”

You looked at your dad curiously. “What’s his name?” 

But before your dad could respond, the door swung open to reveal none other than–

“Wonwoo.” 

[zombie-honeymoon]

Did this for this months event from the Creative Lounge server. Thanks for putting this together!

Everything is under a read more for length since there's a lot of stuff here.

1 - Favorite Trope Alternate Universe- Modern Setting. I have 47 fics posted that use that tag. Modern AU’s are my absolute favorite to write.

2 - SO Much Research That would be Honeymoon at the Clown Motel. I’ve done so much research I spent the night there recently. It’s haunted, can confirm. Something locked me in the bathroom and was walking around the room at night. I’ve researched a lot of strange, morbid things for this one, too.

3 - Smallest Thing You Made Chapter 4 of my Naruto three sentence fics, coming in at just 52 words.

4 - Created During a Weird Rush of Energy Anything from before winter of 2020. But more specifically this fic: Hitchhiker from Hell. No idea how I managed to write the whole thing before posting it and actually finishing it in such a short time, (it was written in only like a few weeks) but I did! I wish my writing energy and inspiration would come back…

5 - Uncommon Fanwork I knit and made some things inspired (colorwise) by my favorite ships and characters. Here’s a link to the fingerless gloves, and socks I’ve made. The yarn I used for the socks reminded me of Hidan in a subtle way and I just finished the second sock over a year later… And here are a couple of moodboards I’ve made for Suna and Takigakure, and here is one I made for my Hitchhiker from Hell fic.

6 - Biggest Thing You Made So far it’s my Honeymoon at the Clown Motel fic, it’s the longest with 25,847 words and counting.

7 - No Beta, No Regrets Most of my fics are not beta read, though I’m not sure about the no regrets part.

8 - Successfully Wrestled into Submission Smoked Sugar. It was supposed to be just a one shot, then I was going to end it at chapter three but felt bad for Kakuzu and Hidan so I wrote a final chapter for it. That final chapter was written and rewritten several different times and all of them were very different. It wasn’t an easy chapter to write but it got done. Finally.

9 - Made my FBI Agent Nervous Have to go with Honeymoon at the Clown Motel once again for this one fjfdkd

10 - Was Supposed to be a One-Shot/Doodle Long Distance Love. It was just going to be a drabble but I decided I really needed to continue it.

11 - I Invented this Rare Pair So, I wouldn’t say I invented the pair, but I did make the ship tags on AO3 for them- HidaKisa, KakuHidaKisa, Jashin/Kakuzu (but Hidan is Jashin… so) and of course Hidan/12 Foot Skeleton (they are deeply in love you guys)

12 - One that Haunts My Dreams (finished of un) It’s pretty much all my posted wips. Host, I so wanted to finish this one… I probably never will. Intarsia, this one haunts me, too… I want to work on it but never seem have the inspiration to.

And lastly are Long Distance Love and Honeymoon at the Clown Motel. These two definitely haunt me, they should have and could have been finished by now, and are the most likely of all my wips to get finished (excluding the three sentence fics, which are just for fun and I feel no pressure or haunting from them which is very nice).

13 - Lastest-Minute Finish There’s more than one that came to mind and I find it amusing they both have Sasori in them and he hates being late. First one is Muse. This one sat in my google docs for a very, very long time and until I decided to finish it for an event. It was late for the prompt day but that’s ok.

The second one is Bold, or Incredibly Stupid. I wrote it for MultiSasori Month for the Mortician AU prompt but was pretty late getting it finished so I ended up using the Free Day prompt instead.

14 - AU/Crossover No One Asked For

I feel like no one asked for a fic where Hidan was de-aged to five years old and taken care of by Kisame and Itachi but I wrote it anyways. It was actually really fun to write. At least I made sure he was old enough to be out of diapers fsdlkjds.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Fic Writer Review!

Tagged by @kg1507, thank you!! This was surprisingly fun, considering I don't think I've posted on ao3 at all this year. Looking at my stats was really shocking, it's been a while.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

105

2. Whats your total ao3 word count?

752,295

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

4

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Making Waves

The Day Kara Danvers Died

Heartbound

Course Correction

Thicker Than Water

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I used to respond to each and every one, once upon a time, but the sheer volume of notes and real life all conspired to render me the person who doesn't respond to any. But I adore reading each of them.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending

Ummm... there are quite a few Sanctuary fics that deal with grief and loss, but those are more sad than angsty. So Close (a Stargate SG-1 fic) is pretty angsty.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Sure do!

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, actually. I wrote a Pacific Rim/Stargate SG-1 story that didn't have any romantic content, but the protags were drift compatible, so I tagged them as a ship, and the lack of romance had people PISSED. But-- they're drift compatible?? It was everything but the smooch.

9. Do you write smut?

Sure do!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Someone once notified me that there was a fic with a VERY similar first chapter to my NCIS: Apocalypse story. Like, it was very clear that they had basically taken my chapter and then rewritten it *just* enough to get past the censors or whatever. I reported it to FF.net at the time and they were like, ehhhhhh we can see what you mean, but we can't really do anything about it, because it's just different enough to be okay. So nothing was done about it. Which is fine. I'm flattered now, and recognize that they were probably just a new writer, and not actually meaning anything malicious by it.

11. Ever had a fic translated?

No. I've had a couple requests, but I'm nervous about not being able to control the output, so I've always declined.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I've done a couple of fics where I've collaborated with artists, which is a really fantastic process and I love it.

13. All time fav ship?

Sam/Jack from Stargate SG-1. If you want a crash course on how to do a will-they/won't-they ship, this is it. My god. I could go on for ages.

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

There's a Stargate SG-1 sequel to Among the Stars that I've written pieces of that I may eventually share, but at this point it is unlikely I'll ever write it as a story. Just the scope of it is so large, as it spans the entire 10-season series, I don't think I'll ever have the time or brainpower to get it done. I'm so sorry, because it would have been awesome.

15. Writing strengths?

Ummmmm... I'm horrible at writing about my good points. Maybe characterization? I also have a knack for really capturing images I have in my head. Like... that beginning scene of The Day Kara Danvers Died-- one of my crowning moments. I still have a visceral reaction when I re-read it.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Commitment. Time. It's way too easy for me to cut corners in order to get the instant feedback of my tumblr posts.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I don't know if I've ever tried it. Italics are a good way to indicate you're switching languages without actually switching languages. But if you actually write in actual different languages, you better get it right or else your readers who read that language are going to know.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

NCIS. Actually. That's a lie. My first was for CSI, but I never posted it anywhere because it was garbage. I was trying to right a casefic before I even knew how to write a regular story, so I was way out of my depth.

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Making Waves is my fave Supergirl story. Beyond the Stars is my fave Stargate SG-1 story, I think (which I've just noticed is not on ao3, oops), Something More is probably my fave NCIS story, and it's impossible for me to choose a fave Sanctuary story, I love them all. :)

Tagging @coeurdastronaute, @karalovesallthegirls, @jazzfordshire if they haven't already been asked, and anyone else who wants to join in!

[villanelleskiss]

AO3 Ask Game!

tagged by the lovely @sarah-fiers <3 thank you for tagging me!! 

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 16 works! 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

85,207! 

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Run Away With Me  a multichap fic for Sarah and Hannah from fear street: 1666! also a fix it fic because i refused to let their story end the way it did. 

broken in two a multichap for killing eve. definitely not the best and if i could, i would go back and fix a lot of things or do things differently, but this was an idea i’d had for so long i finally just had to write it. 

Diary of a Lonely Soul a short little one shot for Sam Fraser and Hannah Miller from fear street! wanted to really write a piece connecting these two women together. 

do you wanna show me how   another multichap fix it fic! this time for bly manor, because as a lesbian i refused to let Dani’s story end the way it did. 

scared to lose you a short one shot for Killing Eve! really just cute and fluffy, i’m pretty proud of this one. 

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

generally yes. comments give me the will to keep posting 

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i’m not really sure, because all of my fics have happy endings. but i would say Run Away With Me if i had to choose, but it goes from sad to happy again, so all is right! 

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

all of them! we don’t know tragic endings in this house 

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve

written?

i haven’t written any crossovers, just because i don’t think i could do both sides justice. i’m afraid i’d leave a lot of plot holes and/or a lot to be desired. but i have taken inspiration from other shows/movies as a medium if that counts! 

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i don’t think so and i hope i never do! 

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

depends on the fic. i’ve abandoned a lot of WIPs because i didn’t want to write smut. i have to be in the mood for it. but when i do, it’s nothing crazy. just the sweet lesbians <3 

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so! 

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have not, but i think it would be super cool if someone did!! 

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I'm on it 👀. - what she said 

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Villaneve, Villanelle and Eve Polastri. these ladies are my absolute favorite and the hold they have on me is a death grip. from the sexual tension, to the pining, lusting, the chasing each other all over the world. to having what each other have been looking for and wanting, to the murderous vibes, to everything! my OTP forever 

but second, i would say Sarah Fier and Hannah Miller. i also love Sam and Deena the exact same amount, so this can go for both of them. but the softness of it all, to the innocence, the naiveity, the learning and growing. to knowing what they want together and from each other. but also the way they really show how far someone is willing to go for the one they love is my favorite thing on earth. 

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i wrote an entire chapter for a Villaneve Vampire AU. i have the entire story already written out in my head, just not on paper. 

15. What are your writing strengths?

i really don’t know. but if i had to say something, it’d probably be how i can take a tiny sliver of an idea and turn it into a fic. 

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

staying up late to write something so i don’t forget it, but then it later sounds super rushed and incomplete and has to be rewritten anyways 

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if it’s not overdone, i think it could be cool! especially for characters who are bilingual. or, if a characters pet name was one from another language! 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

killing eve! i actually didn’t post my first fic for them though until a year later because i was so nervous. but after season 3 aired, all logic left the building. 

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

i don’t think there’s any right now? i could say AHS, but that ship has long sailed. 

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

it’s called Circle in the Sand  and it’s basically Villanelle thinking about why she loves and craves Eve the way she does. it’s not even a thousand words, but i really like how i wrote it as it comes from like the inner soul, i guess? i’m very proud of it. 

otherwise it’d be Run Way With Me 

thank you again for tagging me!! this one was super fun and anyone who sees this is more than welcome to do it! <3 

[ruhkie-a]

so. i’ve been holding off on making this post for awhile bc i haven’t known how to word it 100% without hurting feelings (or making people feel like i’m trying to aim this at them, when i promise, i’m not trying to point fingers lol.) but i am still in the process of returning to this blog while considering the idea of entirely rebooting/changing many things about my portrayal of leon. i know i’ve been saying this for months now and trust me, i’ve never forgotten it lmao. 

i think the blatant truth at this point is: i’m tired of writing young leon. i’m tired of writing re2 leon and this blog wasn’t ever really meant to be focused on re2 leon; i originally made this blog as a way of exploring post-vendetta leon and the high stress of reaching the end of his career/finally getting the chance to reflect on his life, but i think it kinda turned into young leon’s story over time due to the high demand from writing partners? which i have no issue with but there comes a point where i get bored, you know? 

i also had to deal with force shipping on this blog, which got to a point of becoming excessive. it still is. i had blogs who i’d reached out to plot and immediately, they wanted a ship. sometimes people would be discreet, other times they would be so open about it, i would block on the spot. i kinda wanna make it clear right now: i don’t ship on this blog. i got rid of shipping on this blog a very long time ago ~ nearly right when i first made this blog. i’ve got one ship that translates to most universes and that’s it; that’s all i want + all leon wants. 

in addition to that, i have had to deal with copious amounts of copying. to every single person who’s stolen something from me; i’ve noticed. i’ve noticed pieces of my old writing being scattered in some of my mutuals writing ~ i’ve noticed aspects of my portrayal being used in others (sometimes it would be certain metaphors/similes i would use with leon, other times it would be headcanons.) i always noticed. i stopped posting headcanons/aspects of my portrayal because sometimes, i would post things and i would see things being rewritten on certain blogs word by word. some of them were leon blogs, some of them were other character blogs who legit had just switched “leon” out for their character’s name! originally, i reached out to people! i would ask for people to take certain things down and then it got to a point of frankly not caring anymore. i got tired of trying to stop something i can’t stop from happening. so i got rid of writing headcanons + other things on my own blog bc i felt like i couldn’t! (this was still occurring while i was on my hiatus, just as an fyi. i wasn’t on this blog and people were still taking things lmao. blows my mind, ye know?)

i also have had a hard time returning after all the recent stuff happening in america (and all over the entire world, honestly) with police officers and police brutality, given so many of my alternative verses take place with leon being a cop. i come from a mixed household and it’s hard writing a cop lol, especially given some of my own personal experiences with cops. basically, it’s really fucking hard writing a cop lmao. i also do believe some of it stems from the tumblr politics which have grown so massively over the past few years. i do get nervous writing certain characters because while i know i’m not doing anything wrong, someone else might deem otherwise. so i avoided this blog like crazy for the longest time ~ i didn’t want to write a cop because fuck the police and i also didn’t want to write this kid who i had kinda grown to hate over the past few months. i hated my portrayal because it wasn’t what i wanted to write. 

so ~ i had four things i needed to figure out prior to coming back to this blog. i needed to figure out my portrayal, i need to figure out how to stop people trying to forceship/stealing from me, and i needed to figure out how i felt about writing a cop. i’ve spent the last 5/6 months trying to figure these things out and i think i’ve finally come to somewhat of a conclusion for all of these! (thank god lmao) so, i think within the next few days i’ll be archiving and moving to an entirely new blog. over there, you’ll be able to find a brand new portrayal of my leon on what i want to write. it’ll be my “happy medium” of everything and i’m excited to finally share with y’all what i have been working on for months hehe. ♡

[raeofalbion]

tagged by @marcceh - I’m sorry this is so long, I’m incapable of talking about writing in a small amount of words.

Author Name: deathofaraven on fanfiction-specific sites; I’ve been considering changing it but it’s been my username since 2009, so there’s no point. I think it’s some version of I.Ravencrow on other writing sites.

Fandoms You Write For: Fable and BBC Sherlock currently; Tom Becker’s Darkside occasionally; DMC, Batman, Death Note, Kuroshitsuji, Harry Potter, shit I’ve written for a lot of fandoms and can’t remember them all because I deleted the fics from my profiles, and most of LJ Smith’s work previously.

Where You Post: mainly on Ao3 now, but I occasionally post on FFN and on Tablo

Most Popular One-Shot: Hiraeth, which is apparently my third most read and second most kudosed fic on Ao3?? Idk how that worked out, but I’m so glad readers have enjoyed it.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: A Marriage of Inconvenience, to absolutely no one’s surprise--it’s the first in a series, it’s a really old fic (originally written in 2012), it’s the fic I moved to Ao3 for (specifically because I’d rewritten it in 2015/2016), the reason I got a tumblr account. It was kinda...the start of a lot of things, so it’s sorta fitting it’s the most popular I’ve written. I’d like to...eventually fix more things about it (or do a version that I feel is more complete), but I’m proud of it. It’s my baby. I’m glad it’s still going strong.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Nope, no, not picking sides. They’re all good children; I’m proud of everything I currently have up and I enjoy rereading 99% of them.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Oh, hmm...I’m generally nervous 95% of the time when it comes to posting, but I think I was most nervous about No More Heroes and Ghosts. NMH is almost entirely headcanon-based but set in canon, which is something I usually avoid doing; usually I save hc-heavy fics for AUs, but the hcs suited the prompt so well that I couldn’t really help it. As for Ghosts, it was the first time I’d really made an effort to break into a new fandom in...years and there was a lot of really sucky stuff happening at home at the time so it just felt like a huge gamble for me--I went from writing characters I know so well to characters I didn’t really...know (still don’t feel like I entirely know, though I’m enjoying getting to know them) and, on top of that, was dealing with some...I guess some fear there’d be backlash for abruptly jumping into the fandom despite how much shit this fandom gets sometimes. Luckily both NMH and Ghosts seem to have been received pretty well--there’s things that I’d change about both, but I’m really proud of them and they no longer make me nervous.

How Do You Choose Your Titles:  I scream into the abyss until it sees fit to grant me inspiration for a suitably pretentious title. Or I go with something that sums up the theme or directly relates to the prompt. Song lyrics as a last resort. MoI’s name came from an in-game quest title, though, so...like...anything that fits?

Do You Outline:  Sorta? If it’s a one shot I like to go in totally blind except for whatever vague idea I want to write. If it’s long, I like to have a very vague outline. Usually a summary or a slightly more detailed idea plus where I’d like the characters to be emotionally or what I’d like to happen at certain plot points. The plot points are usually the focus so I like to at least have a map of where they start and where they end and whatever happens to the characters in between those points just happens. I mostly ignore the outline.

How many of your [BBC Sherlock] stories are…

Complete: 6; 4 on Ao3 right now, 1 on tumblr that’s too short to transfer, 1 that’s not going to be posted.

In-Progress: Y’all wanna see something stupid? It’s me. 28. (And that’s ignoring the contents of my prompt list that haven’t technically been started.)

Coming Soon: Possibly another half dozen? Can’t be certain. I always seem to finish Sherlock stories very randomly and very abruptly, so it’s a mystery to everyone involved. I blame my Sherlock muse; he takes great pride in being an absolute bellend during writing. And during not-writing.

Do You Accept Prompts: I shouldn’t, but I abso-fucking-lutely do. Send ‘em. No guarantee I’ll get to them any time soon, but send ‘em anyway if you’d like me to do them. (I’d prefer prompts/requests be sent off anon so I can talk with the prompter if any issues come up or if I need extra inspo, but I’ll still make an effort even if anon is on...you’re just leaving a lot more of the story in my hands and up to my random interpretation.)

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Hmm...they’re all exciting in their own way? A lot of the AUs I’m excited to write because I’m curious what people will think. I’m also really excited for Three to just be over because I’m kinda tired of working out the logistics of it and tired of rewriting it. (And I’ve also never posted a fic like this before. So.)

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions As Well*: 

@jamlocked @grayrosegarden @weweremadeforeachothersherlock @sincerelyjimlock @johnlockedinwarstan No obligations for any of you, if you don't wanna do it! ^^

* I know it says 5 and specifies Sherlock as the fandom, but if anyone who follows me wants to do this and just...changes the fandom to your main fandom, I’m totally up for that and you should 100% tag me so I can go snoop at what you’re writing. ^^

[becausewerehere]

So here’s the info on the final version of Act I! Naturally, I’ve chosen to decorate this post with some artwork of Pache, a character who does not appear until Act II. Whoops. But who cares, I like it! (Huge thanks to Incogneato! It was a sketch I requested a while back for a post that I never actually ended up making.)

This is now going to be an ugly text post from here on in - it’s not yet time for the proper “Hey Act I’s coming out soon” post with screenshots and stuff. This is just an info post for you dedicated people who are still somehow following this game for whatever bizarre reason. ;D

(As this post shows up in the ‘fanart’ tag, I’ve put the remaining lengthy text post under the cut!)

Full Act I - Additions

Right. So! As I said in the last post - the final, actually-finished version of Act I is  due out in May/June (2018), as a standalone release.

It’s quite superficially similar to the last demo, but there are some notable changes. On the whole, it’s a much more substantive opening act than the early demos were:

A whole bunch of new CGs! (Mainly, first-person ones for the romantic scenes at the end of the act.)

The plot structure and everything is the same, but I’ve completely rewritten quite a lot of the dialogue, particularly in the first half of the act - looking back over some of those scenes, I’m really not sure they were my finest work! But they’re a lot more vibrant now; thanks for your patience while I was still kind of finding my feet with some of the characterisation there.

There’s also more dialogue choices throughout (in the second half of the act in particular), and your choices in Act I now actually mean something within Act I! In the sense that most of the new CGs aren’t automatically unlocked - a lot of them require enough relationship points to have been built up first. Essentially: this incarnation has a greater focus on something resembling actual -gameplay-! It’s much less of a kinetic VN, and you have a bit more freedom in your conversations now.

Full Act I - Release

So what do you think about this? Having weighed the options, I’m actually really coming down on the side of making the full Act I a commercial release. Albeit a very cheap one! Maybe this was what you’d expected. But personally I had originally planned to make Act I free like the demo was, and grow an audience that way - but I’ve realised charging a small amount is probably for the best, for a couple of reasons:

Episodic games seem to suffer diminishing sales as the releases go on, and I don’t see how there won’t be a sizeable drop-off between Act I and Act II+ in particular. BWH is self-published, with extremely DIY marketing - and don’t get me wrong, that’s super neat and it’s the way I always wanted to do it... but that means it IS likely to be a fairly low-key release, and every sale really will count. So I don’t want to miss out on the main chance the game will have to potentially ever make any money! I’d really like to at least try and recoup my development costs if at all possible. (And if I were ever able to make some cash to fund future projects, that’d be an absolute dream.)

I’m really not keen on BWH’s chances as a free game! Free VNs on Steam are famously often misunderstood in hasty reviews, and the chance of getting a ton of mixed or negative reviews upon release is something I’d ideally like to avoid - partly for my own mental state (ha), and partly for the quite practical reason of not wanting to torpedo any traction the game might otherwise hope to build up. (On top of that, Act I is very slow-paced and still quite a long story, and I’m not sure the ‘first episode free from Day 1’ strategy applies to BWH as well as it might to a game where the first episode is either much shorter or gets into everything with more immediacy.)

Oh, and in the shorter term... even a smallish influx of cash after Act I is released would really help me out when it came to commissioning the tons of additional CGs I’d like for the remaining acts. :D

It would likely be priced somewhere around £3 / $4  (with the future, much longer acts being around £4 / $5-6 each maybe?). [UPDATE - I was strongly advised to keep all acts a consistent price and go for £5 / $6.] By the way, obviously everyone who donated to the project way back when will still get each act for free. (And thanks for supporting the game since so early on!)

So I’m quite excited about finally making the first proper official release, though obviously a bit nervous too! As the moderately hardcore fans of my 2-year-old demo who still visit the blog (and whose unaccountable continued enthusiasm is really sincerely appreciated), I’d really like to know your opinions. Do you guys broadly agree that being a commercial title is a good fit for Act I? These are all quite big-ish decisions for BWH and, uh, as you’ve probably figured out by this point, I generally like to spend a lot of great super-fun time second-guessing things. So any thoughts are very much appreciated here! Hopefully I’ll walk away with some sort of indication of whether things are as ‘on the right track’ as I’d hoped. ^^

[stvrmwitch]

Tag Game

@kira-desomma​ thanks for tagging me!

1. List five basic facts about your OC.

Hmm... which OC to choose...

Pine

hard of hearing

super tall, much like a tree

pansexual

art student

literally can’t stop herself from talking, especially when she’s nervous 

2. If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?

Stopping time or slowing it way down. She never feels quite like she’s got enough time to do all the things she wants to. It’s a superpower she would use pretty much exclusively to her own benefit, but it would help her out a lot since she’s always overextending herself during the year for anyone who needs it. Stopping time just to take a nap once in awhile sounds ideal to Pine. 

3. Post a picture or gif that describes your OC.

Pine is an eternal optimist. “Things are never as bad as you think” could easily be her life motto if I were to actually assign her one.

4. Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less.

Ugh. I’m bad at this.

A transcontinental love story. aka Road Trip Gays™

5. Do you have any villains in your story?

Not yet? Probably not ever??? Their big enemy is distance coupled with personal insecurity. No evil exes or generically villainous characters.

6.  What’s easier for you to write, dialogue or description?

Neither? I struggle with everything. Description tends to survive the editing process better. I’m not big on dialogue, so whatever dialogue makes it in gets constantly rewritten until it’s “perfect.” So description is less of a headache, I guess lol

7. Do you have a favorite writing-related quote?

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” —Stephen King

8. If you could assign your story one song, what would it be?

“All Night” by The Vamps  

9.  Where do you get inspiration from?

Sometimes inspiration will strike randomly, but I usually go hunting it down. I free write until I get to the usable ideas.

10.  Do you tend to underwrite or overwrite in a first draft?

Overwrite. It’s so bad. It makes editing a rewarding task because I end up with a whole sea of garbage to fix, but I write way more than I need to even when I’m telling myself no sweetie, you can just - you can stop now. Now. No? Okay I’ll wait.

Tagging a bunch of new followers: @lunar-writes, @ava-burton-writing, @writerkaitlinm, @writingdella, @writebruh, @courtnuggetscribe, @writer-of-the-arrow, @merigreenleaf, @christinawritesfiction, @the-bookdevourer

As always, if you’re tagged don’t feel obligated, and if you’re not tagged feel free to play!

[crookedspoonfic]

WIP Week Day #6

Your AU WIP.

Not like most wips I posted haven’t already been AUs.

Fandom: The Raven Cycle Characters/Pairings: Kavinsky/Ronan, Declan  Rating: T for UST Word Count: 2,255

I have probably rewritten this part 24 times and will likely rewrite aspects 2-3 more times, because the Cabeswater mention was shoehorned in and that’s why the mood is all over the place. 

It’s the current first scene of my childhood friends AU that isn’t adding up so far. But @neurotoxia​ said it does at least have potential, and after all the time she spent listening to me rant about it, I owe it to her to finish.

@owltrocious​ - this is part of the 8k thing I mentioned a while ago, on the off chance you’re interested in possibly overwritten snippets. And with snippers I mean chapter-long excerpts.

Henrietta's early morning scenery is a stunning mixture of lush green grasses glinting with a kaleidoscope of dewdrops, sun slanting off the reddish rooftops, and trees waving lazily in the breeze. Too bad this natural beauty is overshadowed by your mood going to school. You can think of a dozen activities you'd rather be doing – dishes and laundry among them – than entering the tedium that is Aglionby.

Yet you promised Gansey, and some moronic honorable code dictates you be true to your word. Sometimes being unable to lie is a huge pain in the ass, but it's still a point of pride for you.

You pull into the parking lot. At the edge of the campus you spot a lone figure hunching in the shade behind the buildings. As you park, someone slinks around the corner, hunched and nervous. You imagine greetings and other things to be exchanged: there's a quick sweep of the area, a clasping of hands, a friendly cuff on the shoulder, then the newcomer hurries away.

You haven't seen Kavinsky on school grounds for weeks, but then again, your own attendance record is not a stellar example of punctuality and sticktoitiveness. He may well have been here when you weren't, and there's no way to tell unless you asked around, which you damn well are not going to do. It doesn't interest you. Nor does it matter.

Still, his presence draws you in like a current, despite your resentment and your insistence on avoiding him during daylight hours. He's a different creature then, at once too strange and too familiar, a grown-up version of the boy you used to chase over the green meadows stretching out beyond the Barns.

He looks all wrong now.

You prefer to encounter him at night, when the darkness obscures the angles of his face and the alcohol makes it light up from within. It's easier then to ignore the loss of innocence – not that he ever had much to begin with, but there used to be a boyish side to him that got excited about more than just self-destruction.

As ridiculous as it sounds, you still miss the old him, the one you flew kites with, built mud castles with, ditched homework with in favor of playing in the fields till evening yawned into night, this scarecrow of a boy, all stick-limbs and sinew, yet with a softness about him you're beginning to think must have been imaginary. There's no way this sharp-boned skeleton you're approaching is the same boy you used to tussle with, tip cows over with, lie in the grass and dream together with.

You'd rather avoid him after your fight this weekend. But you promised Gansey.

His mouth splits into a sickle grin when he sees you, the neutral one he flashes everybody, regardless of what business they have with him. You're not special anymore.

"Dickhead," he greets you, and it's the friendliest he's been in a while.

"Shit-for-brains," you shoot back.

"What brings you here?" It's almost lewd, the way he sucks on his cigarette, and your eye tics because of how much you want to punch him for making your eyes wander to his lips. "Need some love potion for your girlfriend? Think that get him to finally let you screw him?"

By way of reply, you slam his back against the wall. It doesn't faze him. He just laughs in your face.

"My bad. Of course you'd let him screw you." He tips his head in defiance and the glint of his sunglasses blind you.

"I'm not here to talk about Gansey." This close, you catch more than a whiff of his knife-like aftershave under the cloud of weed and cigarette smoke. It, too, is less repulsive at night, when it had hours to disperse or mix with exhaust fumes. Sometimes you wonder if he's trying to mask the rot that has infested him, if he even notices how far it has spread.

"But you would let him screw you," he laughs at you again and it is grating. "There's no shame in this, you know. If either of you have performance issues, you can tell me, I'll help you sort it out."

"I said, that's not what I'm here to talk about. Are you deaf as well as stupid?"

"Okay, okay, I'll bite," he says and snaps his teeth. "What are you here to talk about?"

Your fingers tighten around the lapels of his school uniform. "Cabeswater," you say, because that's a conversation you still need to have, one he's been refusing to have, and you're running out of time.

He rolls his eyes ostentatiously and lets his head thud against the brick behind him. "Don't you ever quit? I already told you no."

"No is not an option."

"It's gotta be, because that's the one I'm going with."

"Don't be that way, asshole. I'm not telling you to quit, I'm asking you to help me figure out how to make it safe. It used to be, man, and I'm sure it can be again."

He's staring at you for a while, eyebrows scrunched together behind his sunglasses and lips slightly pursed. He sucks in his bottom lip and chews on it.

"Want to stock up for tonight?" he asks finally, but you barely catch the sounds coming out of his mouth.

"What?"

That's not the answer you've been expecting. Or the question.

It's been a while since he invited you in person. Most of the time you just went, like everyone else, but unlike everyone else, you don't cluster around him like a swarm of flies. You don't need his attention. You have it anyway, in a sort of negative, I know you're there but I'm waiting to see what you'll do sort of way, unless he decides to give you the time of day – or night.

You hate how sometimes being at his parties feels like begging.

He was yours before he decided for whatever shit reason that you weren't good enough anymore and started hanging out with other people. You're still sore about that. You fucking used to dream together, build things together, an entire world of dreams, but now he seems to be content with providing his cronies with all the pills and weed and booze they can ever need or want? Fucking waste, if there ever was one.

"You're coming, right?"

"I've got better things to do," you sneer and immediately regret it. If he's offering you a chance to talk to him, you ought to take it.

"Such as Gansey, I know, I know." He slaps his palm on your head and rubs his thumb over your buzz cut. It makes you dangerously aware of how close you are and how deliberately he has been derailing the conversation. "I'm sure if you ask nicely enough, he'll take you himself. Making sure to keep a tight leash on you. How do you put up with the chafing, anyway?"

"None of your concern."

"C'mon, just ask him to take you for a walk. I'm sure no one would be surprised to find you on all fours beside dear old Dick."

"Fuck off." Your fuse is dangerously close to blowing. You jam his shoulders harder into the wall behind him.

"That's cute, coming from the asshole accosting me when I was minding my own business."

Before you remember to pull his hand away, his fingers smooth down your head to clamp around the back of your neck. And just like that you're transfixed, unable to move when he pulls you in, crushes your nose against his shoulder and his cheek against yours where his stupid sunglasses dig into your flesh, and all you feel is skin and heat and an elevated pulse that's rushing him to an early grave. Your own pulse is not far behind.

"Be there tonight," he murmurs so his breath plays about your earlobe and you shiver. "And bring me something fun."

With his other hand, he presses something small and rounded into your palm. You don't need to look to know it's one of his dream pills. You have an assortment of them hidden away in a drawer; you prefer to go about dreaming your tried and true way.

"On the house." He folds your fingers over it and leans close as if kissing the air above your scabbed knuckles.

Something turns over like an engine in your chest, or maybe your head, because not a single thought sparks and all you can focus on are his goddamn pretty lips – which he must have noticed too, because he's raising his shades from his nose and he's grinning in a way that would signal danger if you had your wits about you, but you don't, and the bruise around his eye has faded since the weekend, and before you know it you're touching it, your palm against his cheek, your thumb brushing over his discolored skin, his fingers curling over your wrist, dipping into the cuff of your uniform, tickling the sensitive skin there, and you're certain that if you don't stop this right now, he'll twist the moment like a knife in your gut, unthinking and inevitable, just as that last time, when he ruined what friendship was left between you and gave you no choice but to push him away completely.

Maybe you thought you could salvage something that way, or maybe you were just trying to save your skin.

"Still a chickenshit?" he asks, nose brushing yours, mouth a hair's breadth from your own. You don't appreciate the reminder, but what the hell, you've been living with the consequences of it every day.

Is this your chance at a do-over?

Off to your side, someone coughs politely.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Your first instinct is to shove Kavinsky away, as if that would undo the past minute and a half; your second is to freeze where you stand because fuck, this is Declan. Your own brother saw you nearly make out with your childhood friend. God Jesus Mary fucking shit, he's going to think you're jealous or something.

Kavinsky just settles back against the wall as if nothing at all had been happening, as if his fingers weren't still burning on your wrist, as if Declan were just another desperate fuck willing to sell his soul for whatever services Kavinsky provides.

"Not if you plan on joining in," he says, bold as brass.

Declan smiles thinly, but his eyes are on you. You're aware of the fire in your cheeks, how your brother can't miss it. "That's not exactly how I planned on spending my free period."

"Let me guess," Kavinsky surmises with a dirty grin. "You need another batch of blue pills to please your latest lady friend, am I right?"

Your lips compress. The jab at Declan's promiscuity ticks you off. There's something those two can talk about. They were fucking made for each other.

You rip your hand free and turn around; whatever their body language is about to betray, you don't want to find out. "I was leaving anyway."

Before you can, however, Declan pulls you aside. His voice is perfectly fucking neutral when he says, "Stay away from him. He's not your friend anymore."

Anger flashes hot inside you, blood pounding in your ears. Your face grows hotter still. It pisses you off how effortlessly Declan can pretend to be unaffected by what he'd just witnessed. It pisses you off how he doesn't care that you might have been encroaching on his territory. It pisses you off how he's so goddamn casual about his sex life, like none of his partners matter to him.

It pisses you off that you have these thoughts at all. This wasn't what you bargained for at all.

Fuck Declan and fuck Kavinsky, too.

"Don't worry. He's all yours."

With that, you stalk off, heart in a snarl of anger, ache and annoyance. When you piss off your brother, you want it to be on your terms, not a crazy happenstance that brought you all together in one place.

Kavinsky must have been trying to stop you, because Declan tells him to leave you alone. You're not sure how you feel about Kavinsky listening to him.

"Don't forget tonight," Kavinsky calls after you.

You flip them both off over your shoulder.

But with you out of the picture, they've already moved on to other topics. You've been in their way the entire time.

"So, you do want me all to yourself," you hear Kavinsky say. "I get it. Okay, shoot. What can I do for you, handsome?"

"Don't," Declan hisses. "Not on campus."

The rest of their conversation is lost in the rustling of the leaves overhead. You keep your gaze resolutely in front of you. You don't want to turn around and see your brother finishing what you started.

Your insides are boiling. You don't know what you're most furious about: the fact that Kavinsky still hasn't agreed to stay away from Cabeswater, that you nearly fell prey to him, or the fact that your brother interrupted your nearly falling prey to Kavinsky.

That you wanted to fall prey to him.

School is out of the question now. Sorry, Gansey. You can't show your face near him anymore, not before you haven't wrung a promise from Kavinsky and certainly not in this state. You need an outlet for your growling anger, preferably one that includes smashing things to pieces.

Here's a thought: maybe you are jealous.