#I was so miserable and hungry we had debated just leaving | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

missmonsters2 · 3 years ago

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today I feel awful... idk my insecurities are taking over me and I just want to curl into a ball and cry. maybe it's my hormones maybe the fact that I weighted myself and found out I gained weight (I can't fit into my jeans 😭) and the fact that I saw my sister in a tight skin dress looking perfect while I'm in my pj's just destroyed my confidence. I need something angsty to read to make me forget about my sad, miserable lffe right now. would you be down in writing sth angsty with nat maybe? you don't have to though. it's fine either way. I really appreciate all of your work and I keep reading on repeat whenever I'm feeling down. makes me cheer up. thank you, van ❤️

It's like we're the same person because I also went to visit my sister recently and my sister has gotten her life together and is living her best hot girl bod while I...let's not go there.

I just want you to know that you're hot as fuck and a body is just a body that we can change with time and effort. We're lit rally in this together. This time next year, we will be rocking the body that makes up happy and we'll be healthy!!! 💘💘

But I will still give you nat angst...but with a happy ending bc I said you deserve a HEA!!

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The Withers of Springtime Bloom

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spring is a time of blooming and when things come back to life. You can't help but notice things that may be causing your relationship with Natasha to wither.

Warnings: self-esteem issues, insecurities about body, relationship with working out and food, seasonal depression. angst with HEA.

Count: 2.1k~

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You're not sure when things changed.

Things change so slowly after all.

Without you noticing, things change and change and change until one day, you do notice.

You notice that Natasha has become quieter, somber.

You notice the lack of date nights and affectionate touches.

You notice that you've let yourself go a little.

You're standing in front of the mirror, staring at your body with a frown. You've gained weight since dating Natasha, but relationship weight gain was normal, wasn't it?

But you remember how Natasha was just as fit as she was before she met you. Sure, she was a superhero, and you were a regular civilian; there was no reason for you to train long hours as Natasha did.

Still...

You turn to the side and peer at yourself in the mirror again.

You can't help but wonder...were you becoming less attractive to her?

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It had been the beginning of fall when you met Natasha. You loved the season of change and when things turned into warm colors before withering away for winter to come.

Natasha had come like a blessing, and in the winter, she was just warm as the colors of fall. Instead of withering away, she bloomed and invested that warmth in your relationship with her.

Despite always being an early riser to work out, weekends were the days she stayed in bed with you just a little longer. There had been so many breakfasts, lunch, and dinner dates. You found yourself moving things around or neglecting to work around her busy schedule.

Perhaps that was when things began to change. Eating out so often and forgoing working out to spend time with Natasha was what led to this.

Spring has arrived, and things are coming back to life. Yet somehow, your relationship with Natasha was withering away.

"Hey," you greet her as you come home, shopping bags in hand. You bought some more clothes when things felt like they didn't fit comfortably anymore. The experience had been upsetting for you, and you didn't end up buying too much, telling yourself you didn't want to spend too much when you were going to lose the weight.

Natasha was working in her office, peering down over reports, and barely acknowledged you other than with a hum.

"Long day?" You ask her as you put your things away and walk over to her.

"Yeah," Natasha sighed. "Trying to get these reports done since Maria needs them tomorrow."

That had been Natasha's excuse for spending long hours in her office every night for the last two weeks.

You place your hand on Natasha's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze, but she leans to the side as if to readjust herself, but still away from your touch.

The sting immediately comes, but you try to push it down, so it doesn't hurt as bad.

"Right," you say hoarsely, but Natasha stares on at the reports. "I'm just going to get ready for bed. It's been a long day and all. Let me know if you need anything."

Natasha gives you a nod as you leave the room. You feel awkward as you lie in the bed you share with her. You wonder if you're taking up too much space.

There's a pang of something as you try to curl yourself to be smaller and only distantly realizing you've skipped dinner before you fall asleep.

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You fall back onto the mat, chest heaving and your lungs burning.

It's been a while since you've worked out, and now you're definitely paying for it with how unfit you are.

The gym is moderately empty with the hour it is. You hate going to a public gym because it always feels like someone is staring, but it's better for strangers to stare than working out at the Compound for people you know to stare at you.

The rational part of you knows that you should just talk to Natasha, but the emotional side of you whispers that you won't like what Natasha has to say, that she might even end it before you've had a chance to change yourself.

When weeks pass, and you weigh yourself again, you almost start crying because you've only lost a couple of pounds.

It's normal, you know it is. You're losing weight at a normal rate, but it's not enough. You know fast weight loss wouldn't make sense for your body but you also feel you don't have half a year to go back to your normal weight.

You sit on the bathroom floor for hours, debating what to do when you hear a quiet knock.

"Sweetheart, are you in there?" Natasha's muffled voice comes through.

You wipe at your eyes furiously as you stand up.

"Y-Yeah," you answer back. "I'm just in the tub soaking."

There's a moment of silence through the door before Natasha answers back, "Alright. Enjoy yourself. Did you want me to order anything specific for dinner?"

"No, it's okay," you tell her. "You order anything you want. I already ate on my way home." You think about the chicken salad you've been eating for the past two weeks and almost sigh.

Natasha answered that she just came back to see if you've eaten, but she actually had to head back to the Compound. You were Natasha shuffling around before leaving through the front door, and you let out the breath you were holding.

You actually take a long, hot shower before putting on sweats and a big hoodie.

The truth was, you were hungry. The chicken salad was okay on the way home, but it had been a couple of hours since.

You knew starving yourself wasn't the answer, so you went into the kitchen to see if you could find something healthy to hold you over until you could go to bed.

But you can't find anything in the fridge except for Natasha's leftovers from whatever she ordered the day before. You can't find anything except frozen pizzas and microwavable foods.

You check the calories on the back and let out a frustrated sigh. Checking your watch, you realize it's too late in the evening to go grocery shopping because, by the time you get there, stores will have closed.

You slump down on the floor, leaning against the cabinets as you let out a pathetic whimper while your eyes became hot with tears.

You miss Natasha. You want Natasha holding you and telling you it would be okay. But you couldn't have that until you were back to what you were when you met her.

The front door suddenly opens.

"Have you seen my—sweetheart?" Natasha started to call before she noticed you sitting on the floor. "What's wrong?"

You use your sleeve to wipe at your eyes as you sit up straight.

"Nothing," you sniffle before you start to stand. "I just stubbed my toe against the edge of the kitchen island. What were you looking for? USB? You left it next to the bedside."

Natasha stares at your back, hair still wet as she takes in your attire.

"It's a little hot to be wearing a hoodie and sweats, isn't it?" Natasha asks softly. "Doesn't seem like you turned on the aircon in here."

You keep walking, but Natasha starts to follow you.

"'m cold," you say quietly so she can't hear the tremble in your voice.

"Are you feeling sick?" Natasha asks with concern as you sit down on the couch, turning on the TV. You pull the blanket over you as if to make your point.

"No," you tell her because you don't want her to worry. "Just cold after a bath."

Natasha sets her things down before she takes a seat next to you. Even in the low lighting, she can see your eyes rimmed red and dampness of them.

You're refusing to look at her as you have your knees drawn up to your chest and stare stubbornly at the TV screen.

Then she hears it.

Your stomach grumbles.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Natasha asks softly again. "We can just order food and stay in tonight."

Your cheeks grow hot. "Don't you have to be at the Compound?"

You don't mean to snap at her, but you can't help but feel embarrassed.

Natasha remains quiet for a moment, quickly thinking over the last few weeks before she feels guilt trickle in.

She doesn't remember the last time she ate with you—doesn't remember the last time she saw you eat.

"Sweetheart," she calls you gently again, and you bristle at the tone. "Is there something wrong?"

The fragile dam you've built to keep the weeks of compiling emotions at bay breaks, and you're hurtling down the stream over the waterfall.

"Are you not in love with me anymore?" You choke out as you begin to cry.

You can't even register to feel horrified at your breakdown because you just need to know.

"I know...I know my body has changed since we first met and I've gained weight but I really am trying to lose it. I just—I feel like you're avoiding me. At first, I thought things at work have been really stressful for you, and I wanted to give you space but you're gone all the time. You're gone even when you're here."

Natasha can barely understand anything you've said after hearing you say the first part. Her breath hitches painfully in the back of her throat, and she legitimately feels appalled at herself.

She starts to say something, but you keep going.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to make this about me because if you're going through something then I want to support and be there for you. But I can't help but feel like you're grossed out by me. I mean—I feel grossed out when I look at myself. I feel like I'm taking up so much space—"

Natasha cuts you off abruptly, pulling off the blanket as she pulls at you until you're in her lap.

"Nat—"

"You're not gross and this is not about the weight you have or have not gained. You hear me?" Natasha says forcefully as she holds you close to her, hand over your thigh to keep you against her.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I've been making you feel like you're not attractive me," Natasha's eyes well up as your tears wet her shoulder. "You're literally still the most gorgeous person I've ever met and you're always going to be that to me."

Natasha's hand at your waist dips underneath your hoodie, her fingers trailing up your back as she sighs at your warmth. "I should've told you, but the springtime is just really hard for me. It's odd because it's a time for things to come back to life but some of the worst things have happened to me during the spring and things blooming makes me think about things that aren't coming back. I think it's also just a little bit of seasonal depression too. I'm just the rare percentage that gets it in the spring."

The explanation makes your body sag with relief because while you feel so horrible that there is a reason Natasha doesn't like spring, she's not falling out of love with you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was hurting you," Natasha apologizes again. "I didn't mean to be so distant but I didn't want to bring your mood down as well, which is why I've been working so much to keep busy."

"It's okay," you muttered as your turn your head, forehead pressed against her neck. "I'm sorry spring is depressing for you."

Natasha merely hushes you as she kisses the side of your head.

You begin to feel awkward, thinking about how you must be heavy on her and try to move, but Natasha doesn't let you.

"Sweetheart, I don't know how to convince you that you're perfect to me," Natasha says so seriously as she forces you to look at her. "If you want to lose weight because that is what you want, then I support you. But I need you to understand that I love you no matter what. I don't care either way because you're so fucking lovely to me always. Do you understand?"

Timidly, you reply, "Okay. Thank you."

Natasha presses her lips against yours in a long kiss before she pulls back.

"Now, I'm going to ask again. Are you hungry? We can order in and watch that new show on Netflix I heard was pretty good from Wanda."

You feel lighter. You think you might still want to work out because that would make you happy, but you don't feel the rush like you did just a couple of hours ago.

"Yeah," you say shyly. "But maybe something not so heavy?"

Natasha nods as she presses another kiss into your cheek as she helps you settle onto the couch right beside her to grab her phone.

"Anything to make you bloom."

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff oneshot #black widow x reader #black widow x you #black widow imagine #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #mm: my fics #g.angst #g.fluff

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bubble-tea-bunny · 4 years ago

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i could make you care

[saiki kusuo x reader]

author’s note: i tried to incorporate as many characters into this as possible to make it feel like an actual episode and i got overwhelmed so fast lol i haven’t written this many characters in a story in a long time. in any case hope i did them justice and that you enjoy :’)

word count: 3,029

Today’s morning is bright, and Saiki’s walk is quiet. Typically this would be no cause for concern. A quiet walk to school is few and far between, difficult to come by given the company he keeps. (He’d much prefer a calmer bunch, if he were granted the chance to choose, but that is neither here nor there.) Don’t misunderstand: he’d bask in this brief peace, guaranteed to be broken the moment he passes through the gates of PK Academy, if the reason for this uncharacteristic period of silence comes about because of the absence of one particular person—someone who, if one could hardly believe it, Saiki actually prefers to have around more often than not.

He walks past the street which leads to your home, his pace never slowing because he expects you’ll join him, as you do every morning. You’ll wait for him on the corner and smile widely like you haven’t seen him in weeks then skip towards him, falling in step easily. He’ll remain nonplussed as you hug his arm, give it a brief squeeze as you greet him—Good morning, Kusuo!—and then promptly let go because you understand he likes his space but you just can’t help but indulge a little bit.

However, none of the aforementioned events play out this Friday. You’re not on the street corner, not there to smile and fall in step with him. There’s no arm hugging or a bubbly greeting Saiki pretends he isn’t affected by. But the truth is that he is, the routine coming somewhat as a comfort, even at the price of sacrificing some of his beloved personal space. So when you’re nowhere to be found his brows furrow and he wonders where you are.

His steps slow until he comes to a complete stop. He wants to check up on you, sooner rather than later. There isn’t much time to delay if he wants to make it to school before the first bell, but this won’t take long. He crosses his eyes, activating his clairvoyance, and he centers in on you immediately. You’re still at home. You’re at home, and you’re sick.

A box of tissues rests on your nightstand and you’ve pulled your small trash can right next to it from where it usually stands by your door. You toss used tissues into it before nestling beneath your blankets, pulling it up to just below your chin and hugging it close in order to retain heat. Your breath evens out quickly and he can tell you’re asleep. Your body must be exhausted dealing with your cold, and he’s confident this is the way you will be the rest of the day—drifting in and out of sleep, dealing with the sniffles and congestion.

He blinks and loses sight of you and now he’s staring once more down the road. Readjusting his bag on his shoulder with a sigh, he resumes walking and thinks about his plans for the day. As it was the last day of the school week, he’d planned to go to Cafe Mami for coffee jelly to celebrate. But now that he’s learned you’re sick in bed, he’d have to make adjustments. Momentarily he debates if that’s really necessary. You probably wouldn’t want visitors in the state you’re in, and knowing you, you’d tell him to go to the cafe without you to enjoy himself anyway. The thought is tempting, truly, yet he can’t shake the urge to check on you.

It feels less like an obligation and more like a simple desire of his own to make sure you’re okay. Saiki shakes his head, more amused than frustrated. There’s no one else for whom he would so willingly do this, or much else, for, and he doesn’t think he’d ever tell you because you’ll tease him the way you are wont to do whenever his facade cracks and he’ll let you have your fun because when you ask if you’re really so different as to make him act this way, the answer is, well, yes. You are.

He imagines this scenario and the corner of his lips lifts in a small smile. Good grief. You could be quite the handful.

“Hey, Saiki!”

Nendo’s voice is entirely too loud for the morning and Saiki heaves another sigh, one that sounds as though it belongs at the end of the day and not the beginning. Nendo is joined close behind by Kaidou and Kuboyasu, and they easily fill the silence with discussions about going to get ramen after class and the latest movements of the Dark Reunion. Saiki really only picks up words here and there that allude to the topic of conversation but it doesn’t require his full attention. It’s the same song and dance every morning.

The commotion once he arrives at school is much the same. During lectures he is afforded the temporary reprieve from having his ears talked off, since the only one speaking is the teacher, but at breaks, the noise resumes, and though he always stays sitting at his desk, in hopes the others will get the hint that he’s uninterested in chatting, they inevitably crowd themselves around it, until he is right in the middle.

Hairo has outlined a new workout regimen and in his louder than normal volume of speaking he shares it. He’s going to start it today, and if anyone wants to join, they’re more than welcome. It doesn’t look like anyone wants to take the offer, which is expected. Hairo’s exercise routines were… a little extreme.

In any case, Hairo is nonplussed by the lack of enthusiasm from everyone else and remarks he can’t wait for the end of the school day.

“I think I’ve been losing muscle tone,” he laments, and he complements this statement with a casual flex of his arm, more so to point out the specific areas he thinks are getting soft rather than to show off, but even if he isn’t trying, his biceps are bulging and if his sleeves hadn’t been rolled up, they would have torn.

Saiki’s brow raises. Yeah… I don’t think that’s an issue for you, Hairo.

“I’ve just finished installing an indoor gym at my home, you know.”

Everyone turns to find Saiko has entered into the circle, a smug smirk on his face. When had he gotten here? Really it’s only Hairo who has any sort of reaction to this, eyes practically sparkling imagining the machines and equipment (or maybe that’s just the glare from the fluorescent classroom lights). All the same, Saiko relishes the attention, boasting of the privacy and space and how really, it’s so much easier to be productive if there’s no one else there but Saiki can only wonder if Saiko even works out at all. He doesn’t remember that being mentioned, and Saiki is nothing if not detail oriented.

Saiki doesn’t have long to ponder over this (not that it would’ve continued much longer because he doesn’t actually care about whether Saiko exercises or just set up a gym in his house to brag) before Nendo asks where you are.

Had he just noticed? You always join them on their walk in the morning. But Saiki can’t say he’s surprised it took this long. What he is surprised about is that Nendo had noticed in the first place.

“Oh that’s right,” Kuboyasu adds. “I thought she just went ahead of us today.”

Yumehara informs them of your whereabouts before Saiki does. “She texted me this morning she wasn’t feeling well so she stayed home.” Her phone dings with a new message and she glances at it, then looks back up. “But she says she’s a little more awake now!”

“It’s the Dark Reunion.” Kaidou’s sudden interjection draws everyone’s attention. He clenches his right fist, staring at the bandages wrapped around it. “They’re trying to get to me by going after my friends!”

Saiki remains expressionless but if he didn’t have such good control he would’ve rolled his eyes. Or maybe she just has a cold.

Upon Kaidou’s claim that a secret society is responsible for your illness, Saiki picks up Yumehara’s thoughts: I wish I was the one Kaidou was so worried about! Maybe if I got sick he’d worry about me too! Getting sick to grab Kaidou’s attention? That’s… going overboard, but Saiki can’t find it in him to be shocked, considering from whose mind this speculation has sprung.

“Poor [Name],” Teruhashi says, kind as always. She sets an index finger on her chin, gaze momentarily aimed upwards as she thinks. “I was about to suggest we all go to the cafe after school today and I wish she could join.”

This gives Saiki pause. Wait. The cafe?

“That sounds like a great idea!” Yumehara declares. Again Saiki hears her thoughts: If we go, I need to do my best sit next to Kaidou!

Whether a visit to Cafe Mami comes across as a good idea because it’s a fun way to celebrate the end of the school week or simply because Teruhashi suggested it, Saiki doesn’t know, but one by one the murmurs of assent resound through the group and he barely contains a relieved huff. He’d already changed his own plans from visiting the cafe to seeing you instead, and it’s a good thing too since it’s apparent his alone time would’ve been ruined. Now he has an excuse not to stick around.

Once the final bell rings, they begin their walk into town towards the cafe. The sidewalk feels crowded with all of them on it, and they have to split into pairs to keep the opposite side of the sidewalk free for people going the other way. Among comments from everyone else about how hungry they are, Saiki makes known his intention to just pick up food before leaving. There’s somewhere he needs to be.

“You’re going to go make sure [Name] is doing okay!” Teruhashi exclaims. It’s a statement, not a question. “That’s sweet of you.”

Saiki shrugs. “Sweet” is not the first word he would associate with his actions. It just seems like common sense to check on you. You’d looked miserable this morning, but he takes your message to Yumehara earlier as a good sign that you’re improving, slowly and surely. Still, he’d be more comfortable seeing you himself. He hadn’t gotten any other chances today to use his clairvoyance, but at least it wouldn’t be long now until he’d be heading to your house.

Chisato is working today and she seats everyone. Saiki goes directly to the counter to place his order—coffee jelly for him and strawberry mochi for you—and he stands off to the side while waiting for the treats to be packed. The others are sitting on the far side of the cafe (in his peripherals he sees Yumehara has taken a seat right next to Kaidou) but he can hear them clear as day discussing what food they should order. Yes, he’s certainly glad he won’t be sticking around. Spending Friday in the midst of that noise is far from ideal.

Holding the bag of coffee jelly and mochi in one hand, Saiki uses the other to push open the door, the bell jingling gently, and someone, Nendo it sounds like, raises their voice to shout across the room: Seeya later, Saiki! Then the door closes behind him, and all he can hear is the footsteps of other pedestrians and the low whoosh of cars.

He exhales slowly. Peace at last. He proceeds in the direction of your home, and when he thinks to himself that any longer and his ears might’ve begun to bleed, he’s only half joking.

In the neighborhood it’s much quieter, the only person he passes being someone walking their dog, and only a couple of cars drive past. He knocks on the door and he assumes you’re in your room and so it will take some time for you to open it, but you’re there faster than he expects. You open it just wide enough to stand in the gap, and immediately he notices the fatigue in your eyes. When you realize it’s him, they light up, and the fatigue fails to take away from the brightness of your smile as you open the door wider.

“Kusuo!”

Inside, he sees you’ve moved downstairs to the living room. That’s why you’d answered the door so quickly. There’s a pile of blankets on the couch and a tissue box on the coffee table. The television is on and playing an animation. He doesn’t recognize it, but it must be one of the new ones you mentioned wanting to watch. However, you’re not interested in it now that he's here and you grab the remote to turn down the volume.

“I thought you were going to the cafe today,” you state, head tilting.

Saiki shakes his head. Change of plans. Instead I brought the cafe to us. He holds up the bag of food and doesn’t have to tell you what’s in it. You squeal in delight that he’s come bearing treats, but the sound is a little raspy and awkward due to your sore throat. It’s still easier on Saiki’s ears than the earlier commotion he’d been surrounded with and, if he’s honest, it’s cute.

You plop down on the couch and wait as he joins you. He unties the bag and opens the box, first taking out the packaged pink mochi and handing it to you. Then he grabs his coffee jelly and the plastic spoon it came with before settling back against the cushions.

You sit cross-legged facing him and bite into your soft and squishy treat, humming delightedly. “Thanks, Kusuo.”

Saiki chews a mouthful of coffee jelly and glances at you.

You grin and hold up the mochi. “For the snack and for coming to see me.”

He shrugs because it’s no big deal. Or, well, he tries to play it off like it’s no big deal. But you know him better than that, better than most others do, and don’t brush it off so quickly. You breathe out dramatically and set a hand on your chest.

“What must I have done for Kusuo Saiki to give up his quiet time for me?” Then you giggle, and it’s punctuated at the end by a sniffle.

He tells you there would’ve been no quiet time at the cafe since the others had also decided to go, and that you’re much better company. Even when I’m sneezy? you ask him, and he chuckles. Yes, even when you’re sneezy.

His remark about coming to see you because he’d prefer to be here and not at the cafe with the rest of your friends is merely part of the truth. The rest of it is that he did genuinely want to check on you to make sure you were okay. Though to give this a voice felt like too much for someone typically so reserved in his feelings, but you understand perfectly fine as you smile softly. You’re appreciative of his actions, and it would seem Teruhashi had been right about them, for you murmur that he reminds you of the mochi you’re eating: You’re so sweet!

Grabbing your mug from the coffee table, you frown when you see it’s empty. “I ran out of tea.”

Saiki sets the spoon and now empty container back in the box then holds his hand out. You blink, momentarily confused, but when it registers what he’s doing, you give him the mug. As he stands to make his way into the kitchen, you call after him.

“Thank you!”

Having been to your house a number of times already, he knows where everything is and starts brewing a fresh cup of tea. You’ve turned the volume up on the television again, but you have to rewind to return of the spot you were at before he’d arrived. Once he comes back with a filled mug, instead of allowing it to continue to play, you pause your show.

You’d snuggled beneath the blankets and have to finagle your arms out of the multiple layers to take the mug from him. You say thanks again and blow gently at the tendrils of steam floating from it. The ceramic is warm in the palms of your hands and you sigh contentedly.

“Sorry I’m a little high maintenance today,” you apologize suddenly. “I’d make the tea myself but I just have such little energy…”

Saiki wishes you wouldn’t apologize because there’s nothing to be sorry for. So he tells you as much. Don’t apologize. Besides, he’d offered to make that tea, and if you wanted soup, he’d offer to make that too. He does understand where you come from, however. You tend to be more independent, opting to do things yourself, and you also know his propensity for being alone and needing space. As such, you’re careful not to be overbearing, and the idea of Saiki doing even little tasks like brewing you tea bothers you.

It’s endearing, the level of care you take to make sure he’s comfortable too, but when he says you’re far from high maintenance, he means it. You immediately understand what he’s implying and laugh before scooting closer and leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Okay, point made,” you concede. With a small smile, Saiki grabs the remote you’d tossed down on the couch and presses play.

He would struggle to call you high maintenance on any day considering who your friends are. They’re loud and all over the place, practically bouncing off the walls. Life could hardly be tranquil when around them and their antics. It’s the total opposite of Saiki, who values calm and silence. If they were high maintenance, he was low maintenance. That’s the way he prefers to be, existing in relative quiet and as close to mediocrity as he can muster. But he can't say he’s opposed to the occasional interruption to the otherwise mundane, especially where it concerns you. You’re not to be found on one side or the other, but right in the middle, and to Saiki, you are just right.

#saiki k x reader #saiki k imagine #saiki kusuo x reader #saiki kusuo imagine #saiki k #saiki kusuo #the disastrous life of saiki k.#bubble-tea-bunny #queue

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apiratewhopines · 3 years ago

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Thanks to @teamhook for the updated artwork. She’s the only person I know who will provide a gift for her own gift 💝

Thanks to @motherkatereloyshipper for helping me pick Killian’s hometown in this story and for being an all around lovely person

Midnight

Chapter 2 — The Stroke

Summary: In which our heroine does what she does best

Chapter 2 of 7 on AO3

“And my imagination will feed my hungry heart,

Leave me one thing before we part”

-A Kiss to Build a Dream On, Louis Armstrong

The spot he was referring to was an out-of-the-way pub serving the greasiest onion rings in existence and a lively clientele that didn’t notice it was one o’clock in the morning and all decent people were in bed. After days of getting by on breakfast bars and the memory of what a full meal tasted like, Emma thought she had died and gone to heaven.

Melancholy tunes droned softly in the background as she demolished enough food to feed an army. The pretty waitress earned her respect when the woman didn’t even blink at her handsome companion, and she liked to think she earned it back when she ordered three of their daily specials without a trace of shame.

Ignoring the way Killian watched with an expression close to awe as she stuffed her face, she happily gulped down a cup of coffee and observed, “Nice place. Come here often?”

“Not as much as I used to,” he murmured, taking a sip of his drink. “Tell me about this man you’re hunting. Is it personal?”

“Please, don’t make me lose my appetite. Surely we can come up with something else to talk about,” she groaned around a mouthful of beef and melted cheese. He had removed his leather jacket when they entered the pub, and his black short sleeve t-shirt stretched across his biceps in a manner entirely too distracting for comfort. Their high-backed booth made it feel as though they were on an island all by themselves, the dark wood and Tiffany lamps creating a cozy cocoon while still allowing a view of the nearly deserted dance floor.

“Ah, definitely personal then. Did he insult your honor? Break your heart? Have you ever even been in love?”

It stung how quickly he was able to see through her. Did she wear her heartache like a stamp on her forehead announcing to everyone she was an idiot? Ignoring the last question, she replied, “He hurt the only person who ever cared about me out of petty revenge. Neal Cassidy broke me. Now I’m going to return the favor.”

“Chills, darling.” His tone was teasing, but she thought she saw him shudder at her words. “I guess you don’t abide the notion of turning the other cheek.”

“Not when the first hit cost me my home, my possessions, and my peace of mind.”

“So he’s the reason you haven’t eaten in days and don’t have any luggage? Sounds like a lovely chap.”

“I don’t need your commentary or your sympathy, Captain. While I appreciate your help tonight, and I definitely owe you one for the meal, I think my past is closed for further discussion. Let’s talk about you instead. What’s your story?”

“I don’t have one, love. What you see is what you get.”

“What I see is someone dodging my question. Guess I’ll have to fill in the details myself then. Let’s see…thirty-something-year-old man who lives a life of boredom and pines for more while feeling stuck in his white picket fence world. You have a decent career in a field that pays well but decided to start a side hustle to meet new people and have something to do after eight in the evening.” Gesturing with her chin toward his forearm, she continued, “Currently nursing his own broken heart over the woman who loved and left him. The only thing I can’t figure out is what part of England you’re from.”

“Well, aren’t you the perceptive one,” he answered with a self-deprecating chuckle. “Although, I would argue it’s cheating since I have my emotional baggage inked on my skin for everyone to see while you carry yours around like an invisible tumor on your soul. As far as where I’m from, a man likes to maintain a little mystery.”

“Come on! You really aren’t going to tell me anything about yourself? After I guessed all that about you?”

With an unfathomable look, he smiled softly and said, “Fine, I’m from Cambridge. Now you know all my secrets. And allow me to call your attention to how well my devious plan worked. My first evening with my side hustle, as you call it, and I’m already having a late night rendezvous with a beautiful woman. One full of food and dancing.”

“There will be no dancing, Captain. But I wouldn’t be opposed to more food.”

“Not sure where you’ll put it, love, there’s no more room on the table. But I’m game if you are. Come on, one dance, and I’ll buy you a whole pie.”

She wanted pie but not as much as she wanted to feel his arms around her. She wanted it so badly her mind raced with images of skin on skin and restless hands exploring. Then her stomach twisted at the knowledge they would say goodbye soon. They probably should have already said it, truth be told. As she debated what harm could come from giving in just this once, he extended his hand and pulled her gently from the seat. Slowly, she felt a small section of her walls crumble and gave him a reluctant smile. “One dance.”

The soft music wasn’t loud enough to allow for an appropriate selection of dance style, but she didn’t mind when he gathered her close and swayed gently in time with his soft humming. She felt his breath stir the hair around her face and realized this was a mistake. Now that she knew how it felt, it would be harder to deny herself an encore. Especially knowing tonight was a one-time thing.

“Tell me something, Swan. Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“No, I don’t believe in love at all,” she answered. Her words conveyed her deeply held conviction that poets and Hollywood movie producers invented love to make people so miserable with the lack of it, they had to seek out fictionalized versions to find some measure of happiness. Her tone, however, sounded as though she was open to being convinced otherwise.

“That’s a shame. I think you’ll miss out on a lot of what life has to offer by being so close-minded and scared.”

“If I were scared, which I’m not, I have every reason to be. One of my foster moms told me a long time ago that love wouldn’t buy me a diamond ring, and it was as easy to be in a relationship with a rich man as a poor one. Easier really. I used to think she was a witch, but now I think she had a point.”

“Bloody hell, what exactly did that man do to you?”

She felt his direct gaze like a physical thing caressing her even as his eyes flickered with disappointment. “I told you. He broke me. And my bank account.”

“Money isn’t everything, love.”

“Excuse me if I ignore advice telling me to count my non-monetary blessings from the man who picked me up in his Beamer. It may not be everything but not having it leaves you with nothing.”

“A person who needs forty dollars a day and makes forty is richer than someone who has everything and needs more.”

“Now you’re just being silly,” she said as she slipped from his arms. “And when a rainy day comes? What then?”

“I recently took up being an Uber driver in my spare time, love. I imagine I’ll make more on rainy days.”

Laughing as she looked at his endearing face under the dim light, she shook her head. “About my pie…”

—

She knew what she was doing. She lingered over the large platter containing a sampling of every type of pie the surprisingly eclectic menu had to offer. She watched him with affection as he critiqued each in turn, always saving the bites with whipped cream for her. The best parts, in other words.

She was stalling.

The night hadn’t turned out as she expected. While her main goal was unfulfilled, she couldn’t make herself think of it as a loss when her sides hurt from laughing, and her troubled heart felt at peace. It was a pity it had to end. And not because she had nowhere to go, although that was certainly the case.

Slowly they made their way back to his car, neither one speaking as the noises of the summer night buzzed in the background. She’d said a lot of goodbyes in her lifetime, eagerly in most cases, but was strangely reluctant to add this one to the list. “Well, Captain, it’s been an expensive night for you. I think you better drop me off at the nearest bus station before I cost you any more.”

“You’re always trying to bring the conversation back around to money. Get in,” he ordered as he handed her into the car.

The air in the cabin of his luxury sedan felt heavy with expectation. Neither of them spoke nor hardly moved a muscle. She considered asking him to turn on the radio but didn’t want to miss out on the last few moments of hearing his even breathing next to her. Minutes passed, and it took her a while to notice they had left Storybrooke and were heading back toward Misthaven. “How much further to the bus station?”

“We passed it several miles back. You’re going to stay at my place.”

Under normal circumstances, this would be where she prepared to kick someone’s ass, but she knew deep down, as surprising as his announcement was, she had nothing to fear from him. Well, nothing except a repeat of the broken heart fiasco that was getting harder to remember with every second spent in his company. “Oh no, I’m not. What happened to no strings and no funny business?”

“Calm down, Swan. Our deal stands. I’m working the rest of the night so you’ll have the place to yourself. Trust me, the bed in my guest room is much more comfortable than a seat at the bus station.” Without taking his eyes off the road, he reached into one of the compartments in the console and pulled out a key. “There are some shirts in the dryer if you need something to wear. Help yourself to whatever you want. If you hang around until nine, I’ll even make breakfast. If you don’t, leave the key under the Welcome mat.”

“I think you better keep your key, Captain. There are two ways this could end, and neither one is pretty.” She gave him a sidelong glance and was mildly irked to see him grinning at her.

“Only two? Please enlighten me with your power of premonition.”

Heaving a sigh of frustration, she wished he would be logical about this whole thing. Sure they had attraction in spades; the very air around them seemed to crackle with electricity whenever their eyes met. But she knew it would fade, and the only thing left then would be goodbye. Better to skip the messy part and go straight to the end. “The first is I stay and have breakfast, and it turns into the day and then another night….”

“That doesn’t sound so bad, love. And the second?”

“I leave the key under the mat, and we never see each other again.”

“Hmm, option two is decidedly less appealing. I’ll take what’s behind Door Number One, please,” he joked.

“You think so until reality sets in and you realize you’ve taken in a stray with a score to settle and not a cent to her name. It won’t be long before the sight of me in your shirts makes you cringe, and you resent having to share the couch with a woman who has nothing to give.” She would know having been in a relationship with a person who was only capable of taking, and she vowed never to do that to someone else.

“I have half a mind to hunt down this Cassidy fellow myself after seeing the hit job he did on you. Listen, Swan, the key has no strings. Breakfast is just food. Whatever happens, happens. But if you think I’m going to drop you off at a deserted bus station with only the clothes on your back, fetching as they are, you’ve got the wrong idea about me in more ways than one.”

“I’m not yours to rescue, Captain.”

“You could be,” he whispered in a voice that made her skin tingle. He tossed her a half-hearted smile, eyes stormy with the knowledge she was going to turn him down. Again.

“The fact we both want me to be is warning enough it’s a bad idea. Come on, Killian, let’s call it a night now so we can remember it fondly in the years to come.”

His jaw clenched, and she was worried he was going to fight with her sensible argument. People didn’t meet people in the middle of the road and form attachments in one night. This wasn’t a fairy tale, and she was as far from a princess as a person could get.

Although she had to admit he made a rather fine prince.

Pulling off into a nearby gas station, he turned to her and said almost threateningly, “We’re not through discussing this.”

Then he stepped out and slammed the door as the sky opened up.

—

It was a dirty trick. She knew even as she did it, but it was for his own good. For whatever reason, he felt like he needed to protect her, and she needed to save him from himself. So she waited until he walked into the convenience store and made a run for it.

That’s not to say she didn’t have a brief moment of whimsy. She couldn’t stop herself from placing a kiss on the key he had casually tossed to her as if inviting her into his home and his life wasn’t a big deal. Then she carefully placed it on the dash, grabbing the newspaper from his backseat as an afterthought, and scurried away before she was caught.

Like a rat.

Maybe Neal was exactly the kind of man she deserved.

The rain beat down in a punishing way, her makeshift umbrella getting soggy and soft under the onslaught. She was so busy looking over her shoulder, convinced he was going to search for her and half hoping he was successful, that the sudden absence of the storm took her by surprise.

“Here, miss, it’s raining cats and dogs tonight,” the sturdy doorman of the fancy establishment she was passing said as he reached out to place his umbrella over her. The burgundy awning extended to cover most of the sidewalk and, despite the late hour, classical music was drifting from the open door. Limousines lined the street, spilling well-dressed patrons as they approached the swanky club.

Before she could maneuver out of the way, she was swept into a tide of rich fish, all glammed out and ready for the party to start or continue as the case may be. She overheard one woman, whose hat was so large she had to tilt her head to make it through the door, complain, “Regina’s parties are always so dull even nature weeps.”

Deciding a boring party indoors was better than a lonely night in the rain, Emma changed her stance and walked over the threshold with her head held high like she belonged there. She noticed the plaque on the wall as she entered read The Rabbit Hole and couldn’t help but think it was aptly named. With its marble floors and curving staircase, it was no wonder this wasn’t one of the stops on the Captain’s tour of town. This place was as high-end as they came.

There was a man collecting tickets at a small side table and, with only a minute to improvise, she was glad to see the stubs were roughly the size of the photo she was toting around, one of the few remaining possessions to her name. Without a moment of regret, she turned the photo face down, relieved the love note Neal had written on the back was faded and worn, so only his faint signature was legible. Luckily, the sheer volume of people entering the place meant the employee merely took it from her without looking to confirm it was what it appeared to be.

Following the crowd into a large ballroom off to the side, she saw a black grand piano played with a precise kind of violence by a wild-haired man in a tuxedo. The room was packed to the gills, the group she straggled in with taking the last seats on the far side of the room. The audience was appreciative but far from silent, conversations carrying on as if private concerts of this caliber were a normal everyday occurrence for them. Every time Emma thought she found a place to rest her sore feet and sorer heart, someone took it before she could get there and, in one near miss, she almost flattened a lap dog that warranted his own seat for the show.

Finally, after pushing her way through a narrow row, she found a place and asked the man in the next chair with a hint of desperation, “Is this seat taken?”

Shrugging a silent negative with brooding eyes that lit up when she neared, she tried to ignore the searching glance he gave her as she dropped into the chair and surreptitiously removed her shoes. She could tell by the hint of a smirk he noticed the movement, but at least he had the good grace not to comment on it.

He was handsome in a careworn kind of way. His tousled dark hair and thick stubble were eerily similar to the Captain’s look, and it made her shuffle in her seat with guilt. The man kept staring, his light-colored eyes settling somewhere between gray and green, keenly taking in her appearance and finding it amusing if the continued presence of his smirk was any indication.

As the final notes of the concerto echoed through the room, a burst of applause started. Now that she was fed and able to sit for a few moments, Emma realized she was exhausted. It was a bone-deep weariness far beyond fatigue, and she was fairly confident it could be traced back to a man with blue eyes and more charm than any one person should be allowed to have.

She wondered where Killian was now. If he had already given up or if he was wasting more time and losing out on more money combing the streets looking for his erstwhile damsel in distress. Emma knew what she did was for the best as surely as she knew she would be haunted by the feeling of his arms wrapped around her for a long time.

After a brief break, the musician approached the piano again. Before he could start hammering out another song with the intensity of a madman, a raven-haired woman stepped in front of the instrument. She called out in a commanding voice, “Pardon the interruption but does anyone recognize this man? It would seem there was a mix-up at the ticket counter and someone accidentally handed in a photograph instead of their invitation to this private event.”

Resisting the urge to sink deeper into her chair, she furtively looked around as the audience murmured amongst themselves regarding the unusual disruption. She could tell by the sardonic tone of the woman’s voice and the way she emphasized the word private she wasn’t convinced it was an innocent mistake. A scene would be made if the guilty party were found and couldn’t provide the appropriate documentation.

“Really? No one is going to come forward?” With an annoyed look at the assembly, she sulked, “Fine, I won’t waste any more of your time.”

She saw the woman hurry to the corner and carry on a quick conversation with a few men before the group disbursed and fanned out to cover the room. Feeling her luck was running out, she slipped her feet back into her shoes with barely a wince and slowly stood under the watchful gaze of her neighbor.

She needed to escape for the second time that night, but now she had hundreds of witnesses. Nonchalantly, she surveyed the room, trying to determine the best way. During this perusal, a man caught her eye, and she froze as he began to cut across the room to her side. So much for a stealthy getaway.

Her pursuer had an air of refined boredom with an edge of mischief. His graying hair was an attractive finish to a lean, well-dressed form. Cocking an eyebrow in disdain or maybe curiosity, he spoke quietly to not draw the notice of the surrounding crowd. “A word, madam.”

“With me?”

“Indeed.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that.” Squaring her shoulders, she ignored the way her neighbor watched with rapt attention as she resolutely marched toward her fate.

@teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @motherkatereloyshipper @stahlop @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @klynn-stormz

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jeonjeonggukenergy · 5 years ago

Text

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au

wordcount ~ 8.5k

warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie

a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️

previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect

You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.

Jungkook? What the fuck?

Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.

You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.

Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.

After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.

hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )

His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.

"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!

You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.

Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?

You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.

"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."

"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"

"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"

You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.

After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.

You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."

"Do you like it too?" you wondered.

"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."

"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.

"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."

Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."

"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.

You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.

Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"

"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."

"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."

You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."

"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.

While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.

Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"

Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"

"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"

"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.

Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.

After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.

He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.

"Is this okay?"

His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.

"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."

Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.

"Well, I've never had sex sober."

Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."

You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"

"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.

"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"

"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."

With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."

Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.

"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."

He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."

"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."

You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.

"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"

Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:

"I love that feeling."

You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"

"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."

"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"

You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.

"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."

His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."

You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."

"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.

"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."

"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"

Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.

"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.

"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"

Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.

"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."

Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."

Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.

"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."

You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.

"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."

In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.

"Your room?" You rushed out the words.

Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"

"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.

"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.

You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.

"Giving you exactly what you want."

"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.

He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."

You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."

He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.

Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.

Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."

Another spank. "Mmmf."

"You like this, huh?"

"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.

"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."

He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.

"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.

"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.

"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.

"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.

"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.

"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.

"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.

"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."

His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.

"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.

"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."

"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."

"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."

Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.

You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"

"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"

"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"

"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.

"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."

To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.

"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.

"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"

"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.

"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."

So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.

You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."

A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.

You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.

Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.

"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.

"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.

A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #my writing #fic: anti-hero #anti-hero #anti hero

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theghostnugget · 4 years ago

Text

Yusuke helps Hiei with his arm

The agony was unbearable. It felt as though he’d shoved his arm into acid. He wondered if this was what normal burns felt like to people without his powers. He’d been playing with fire since he was a kid and it never hurt like this. That darkness flame was some serious shit. He almost regretted using it. Though, knowing that he was the first to ever accomplish such a feat and live dulled that. It couldn’t dull the pain, however. Hence him curled up on the floor with his back against the tub and his arm held close to his chest, unbandaged and very carefully not touching anything. It somehow looked worse than it did initially if that was possible. Felt worse too. He found himself holding back tears for the first time since he was a small child.

The pain was so bad he couldn’t think which is why he didn’t notice Yusuke was back until he opened the door to the bathroom (it’s also the reason he didn’t think to lock the door in the first place). “Holy shit!”

Hiei’s head jerked up to stare at the surprise guest to his pity party and he tried to morph his face from miserable to angry. He must have failed judging by the fact the Yusuke came further into the room instead of fleeing. “Go away.” He kept his voice as empty as possible but to his ears it sounded weak. He didn’t have the energy to survive the pain and keep up his walls right now.

“You’re hurt.”

Hiei sneered, “Care to make any more clever deductions?” He was much more comfortable with his tone on that statement. Just the right mix of annoyed and uninterested.

Yusuke rolled his eyes, kneeling next to Hiei who shifted away. He reached out his hand and Hiei flinched against his will, tightening his wounded arm to his chest so quickly it brushed against the fabric of his shirt and he had to shut his eyes and grit his teeth to keep from crying out. He quickly schooled his expression and re-met Yusuke’s gaze only to find the detective looking at him like a kicked puppy. “I’m not gonna hurt you, Hiei. I’d never hurt you.” He paused, probably remembering their previous scuffles and sparring sessions while Hiei tried to process his statement. “Not for real, at least.” Yusuke clarified. Hiei averted his eyes, unable to read any deception in the detective’s amber eyes and equally unable to handle the softness in them. “None of us would.”

Hiei made a noncommittal sound, more than ready for this interaction to be over so he could go back to being alone and hurting.

“What I’m trying to say is that you should let us help you?”

“I don’t need any help.” Hiei snapped.

“Um, dude, no offense, but it looks like your arm is actually rotting.” Looking down, Hiei couldn’t exactly fault the comparison. Yusuke sighed, and Hiei looked up in the vain hope that he might be leaving. “Look, we both know I can’t force you, but I need you in my corner if I’m gonna win this thing.” He paused, swallowing hard and Hiei could practically hear the gears in his mind turning as he debated something in his head. He couldn’t make eye contact when he finally spoke. “Besides, I care about you, man, so don’t die cause you were too stubborn to trust us or I’ll have to travel all the way to Spirit World to kick your ass.”

Hiei snorted. “What happened to all that crap about never hurting me.”

“Well in this scenario, you’re already dead so there’s not much more damage I can do.”

Hiei fought to turn his smile into more of a smirk. For some reason, the pain was getting more tolerable. Or maybe he was just getting distracted. Yusuke was smiling at him. That goofy smile of his that usually rubbed Hiei the wrong way. This time though it was almost… endearing.

“I’ll have Kurama look at it when he gets back.” Not because Yusuke told him to, but because he wasn’t going to go into battle with a pain stick instead of his right arm. Yusuke’s grin brightened even more and Hiei felt a nervous fluttering in his stomach. Maybe the pain was making him nauseous. Yep, that had to be it. Yusuke ruffled his hair as he stood up and Hiei used his good arm to swat his away because he wasn’t a child and it didn’t feel surprisingly nice, don’t be ridiculous.

“Hungry?” Yusuke asked, holding his hand out to help Hiei up. He seemed slightly surprised when Hiei accepted the offer. They held on to each other’s hands for a few more seconds than were necessary before Hiei jerked his away.

“Depends what you’re making.”

#Yu yu hakusho #yyh #Hiei #Yusuke Urameshi #Yusuhi #Yusuke/Hiei

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dawninlatin · 4 years ago

Text

‘tis the damn season, chapter 1

A belated gift for @ladywitchling <3 Merry Christmas my love, hope you appreciate this as much as I appreciate you!<3

Words: 1728

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Manon prepares to spend Christmas alone. Little does she know Elide has other plans...

«Are you sure you’re fine with being alone on Christmas?»

Manon couldn’t help but sigh, hoping that Asterin wouldn’t hear it through the phone. She appreciated her cousin’s worrying, but calling four times a day to check in was a bit excessive.

«Yes, Asterin.» She twisted in her office chair, opening her laptop. «It’s not as if we ever did anything special for Christmas anyway.» Manon glanced at the clock, then at the amount of unopened emails. It would be a while before she was done for the day, but she didn’t mind. No one was waiting for her.

Elide had left this morning to spend the holiday with her family, and without the presence of her cheery girlfriend, Manon didn’t really see the point of celebrating Christmas. She had received an invitation to join Asterin, but she had a family of her own now. Manon would only feel like an intruder the whole night.

As if she’d read Manon’s mind, Asterin said from the other end of the line, «Not doing much for Christmas isn’t the same as being alone.»

«I know that, but-»

Before she find a way finish that sentence, Asterin interrupted her again. «Can’t Elide-»

«Elide has already left to celebrate with her family, as she should.» Manon tried to ignore the sound of defeat in her voice as she yet again was reminded of how empty their apartment would be. Maybe that was why she’d decided to work overtime on Christmas Eve.

Saying goodbye to her girlfriend earlier today had been torture, and all Manon had wanted was to pull Elide into a tight embrace and spend all of Christmas cozied up in bed, just the two of them.

She didn’t though. Instead she put on a brave smile and held back her tears as her favorite person walked out the door.

Rolling her eyes at her own dramatics, Manon said to Asterin, «Christmas is overrated anyway. And I mean it when I say I don’t mind being alone.»

Liar. Dirty, filthy liar.

«Okay,» Asterin sighed at last, obviously spotting the lie, but playing along nonetheless. «You’re probably happy to finally have some peace and quiet.»

«Damn right I am,» Manon smiled, her heart once again filling up with love for her cousin. Before Elide, Asterin had been the only person Manon had. The two cousins had been raised by the same cruel grandmother, and it had made them inseparable, always looking after one another.

«I’ll leave you to it then. I need to take a long nap before I can do anything else. Willow kept us up all night.» Asterin yawned, and Manon chuckled slightly at the sound of her tired cousin. Being the mother of a one-year-old wasn’t easy. Especially not when that one-year-old was also the daughter of Fenrys Moonbeam.

Speaking of the devil… «You still talking to The Grinch?»

Manon tipped her head back and laughed as Fenrys’ voice filled her ear. The nickname was one he’d lovingly began to call her after she’d voiced her aversion for the bright and merry season.

«Hello to you too, Fenrys.»

«Wait a moment,» Asterin suddenly said. «I’m turning on the FaceTime camera.»

Manon could hear some shuffling coming from the phone she’d pulled away from her ear, and then the small family filled her screen. She smiled warmly at the sight of a very tired Willow, who looked like she’d just been woken up from a nap of her own by the way her soft curls stood in every direction and how she clung to her father.

«Hey Willow,» Manon cooed, and the little girl’s face lit up at the sight of her auntie.

She babbled some nonsense, and Asterin handed her the phone, which she immediately put in her mouth.

«No!» Asterin was quick to steal the phone back, but the glare Willow gave her had Manon laughing again.

«Alright, it looks like someone is hungry, so I’ll hang up now.» Manon waved at her niece. «Bye, Willow!»

«Can you say bye to auntie Manon?» Even after a year, she still filled with pride whenever anyone called her that, and as Willow waved enthusiastically, Manon forgot all sadness from earlier.

Pressing a kiss to his wife’s cheek, Fenrys took Willow and left the frame. «Let’s go and feed The Kraken!»

«Fenrys!» Asterin called after him, but she was grinning.

«Merry Christmas, Asterin,» Manon said softly, ready to turn her attention back to her work.

«Merry Christmas, Manon. I love you.»

«I love you too,» she replied, and hung up.

Manon debated calling Elide as well, while she was at it, but it was getting dark outside, so she decided it was best to just finish for the day and go home to suffer through Christmas alone.

Three hours later, Manon was finally finished with her workload. There was only one last thing to do…

Groaning as she got up from her desk, Manon made her way towards the office of the only other person grumpy and joyless enough to spend the holiday at work.

If Manon was the Grinch, Lorcan Salvaterre had to be something far, far worse.

She knocked on his door, and he responded with an annoyed «What do you want.»

Stepping into his office, Manon scowled at the sight of her least favorite person in the world. She really didn’t have the patience to deal with this today.

«I’m done for the day, so I just wanted to check if you got the files I sent you,» Manon stated, examining her nails with a bored look on her face.

Lorcan’s signature frown entered his face as he checked his email, then looked back too Manon. «Yeah, so you can leave now. I wanna work in peace.»

«Too bad I came here to chit-chat then, since you’re like, my favorite person in the whoooole world,» Manon deadpanned, turning on her heel so she didn’t have to stay a minute more in his miserable presence.

Manon and Lorcan saw each other an awful lot for basically being archenemies. It wasn’t enough that they worked together. No, two years back, Elide had been taking her to a party so she could finally meet her friends, and none other than Lorcan fucking Salvaterre had greeted them, his smile quickly shifting to a scowl as Manon had muttered a not-so-quiet you’ve got to be kidding me.

Thinking about the memory, she stopped in the doorway, her longing from earlier having returned at full force. A small smile played on her lips as she looked over her shoulder. «Have a shitty Christmas, Salvaterre.»

Lorcan let out a small chuckle. «You too, Blackbeak.»

Sitting on the train, Manon suddenly began to regret not decorating the apartment. It felt wrong to know that she was on her way to an empty apartment, as ordinary-looking as always, when she was surrounded by so many people dressed in finery, on their way to see friends and family, twinkling lights passing in a blur.

A wave of sadness rushed through her. She would have given anything to have Elide by her side right now, holding her hand, talking about her day, smiling, laughing, just being there.

Actual tears burned behind her eyes then, and Manon silently cursed Christmas for making her so emotional. She never cried! And now she was being all sappy because she’d been away from her girlfriend for a grand total of ten hours. What was wrong with her?

Her phone chimed in her purse, interrupting her sad music video moment, and when Manon saw who had texted her, she had to fight even harder to hold back the tears.

Elide<3: You on your way home yet?<3

Manon: On the train now

She thought for a second, before sending another message.

Manon: Thinking of you<3

Elide<3: Thinking of you too, can’t wait to see you again<3<3

Had her younger self seen this, she would have snorted at the sappy words and heart emojis, but there was no denying it, no one could resist the charm of Elide Lochan.

Looking up once more, Manon saw that it had started to snow, the world already covered by a white blanket.

Next year she would accept Asterin’s invitation, Manon promised herself.

Standing before her door, Manon spent longer than necessary fumbling for her keys. Maybe some part of her didn’t want to enter the empty apartment, she was mature enough to admit that.

Because whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not, it was Christmas, and she was sad because Elide wasn’t there, and her home wasn’t decorated and her dinner was a miserable plate of yesterday’s leftovers and her only plan was to watch a movie, alone.

Manon let out a sigh as she let her head hit the door, needing a moment to gather herself. «it’s your own fault for trying to be so fucking independent and untouchable the whole time,» she whispered.

She gave herself one more second to brood, then she twisted the key and eased the door open.

A few steps into the hallway, Manon stopped short, a confused look on her face. She’d turned off the lights this morning, hadn’t she? And was that…?

It was music, the soft tones of some Christmas song, coming from the kitchen.

Looking around, there were even a few decorations put up, a mistletoe hanging over the entrance to the living room.

«Hello?» Manon called, not letting herself really think about who this had to be. Not letting that kind of hope come to life.

Heart pounding in her chest, she stepped into the living room, and could do nothing but gasp in awe as she took in her surroundings. A Christmas tree stood in the corner, the room lit up by its softly glowing lights, and everywhere there were little trinkets and other decorations. On the mantel of the fireplace was a picture of her and Elide that hadn’t been there before. It was from last week, Manon recognized, when they’d been at the Christmas market, and on the frame were the words: Make the yuletide gay. A bubbling laugh escaped her, and she couldn’t hold the tears back this time.

A voice sounded from the kitchen, and Manon turned around, only to be met by a pair of shining eyes and a bright smile.

«Merry Christmas, my love.»

Taglist: @ireallyshouldsleeprn @ladywitchling

I keep a separate taglist for every ship, so let me know if you want to be added to any of them!

#malide #manon x elide #manon blackbeak #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #asterin blackbeak #fenrys moonbeam #asterin x fenrys #fensterin #sarah j maas #sjm #throne of glass #tog #queen of shadows #qos

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imaginepirates · 4 years ago

Text

Modern! Will

A modern au with Will, who you find while sailing through the Orkney Islands. (Forgive me, I was just in Scotland.) Anyway, the two of you get to know each other during your time together, and you have a peaceful time sailing through the islands.

@emdrabbles @tesserphantom @paljonkaikenlaista @viper-official @shitis-getting-real

~3150 words

~~~~~~~

The last thing you’d expected to find while out sailing was a body. You feared, at first, that it was dead. He, to be specific. You’d let your boat drift close to the body before hauling up onto the deck. It quickly became clear that the man was still alive, and you debated what to do with him. You didn’t have any cell service out where you were, and you had no idea how a man came to be floating in the waters around you in the first place.

You were sailing through the uninhabited section of the Orkney Islands, enjoying the peaceful wildlife and a quiet respite from the pressures of day to day life. You liked living on your boat, sailing where you pleased and exploring the coasts of each island. Many were small, and a good chunk of them hadn’t seen the tread of a human foot on them in years.

Thus, you were put in an unfortunate situation with the finding of the body. You hadn’t seen any other boats around to point towards evidence of human life. You did notice, however, that the man seemed somewhat familiar. He was dressed in loose clothing, hardly warm enough for the weather where you were. His hair, plastered to his face from the water, was dark brown, and he wore it long, close to the shoulder.

Something about his face seemed unfathomably familiar. It took you a while to realize that he looked exactly like a character from your favorite movie. That was ridiculous, of course, but rather strange.

It was that moment that the man chose to wake up. He gave you a bit of a start, gasping for breath and rolling over to his side to cough water from his lungs.

“Are you okay?” You asked. You righted him, pulling him into a sitting position.

“I think so.”

“What happened?”

“I-I don’t know. I was with Jack, and then I wasn’t.”

With Jack? He couldn’t possibly mean… “Do you have an name?”

“William. William Turner.”

There’s no way. I’m going crazy. I’ve been out here on my own too long, and now I’m hallucinating. “Well then, William, let’s dry you off.”

You led him into your cabin and handed him a few towels. He got to work drying out his dripping hair and pulling off his soaked-through clothing. You turned around for modesty’s sake, leaving him to dry off on his own.

It was then that you realized you had nothing for him to wear. You blushed a little, realizing he’d have to wear a few towels until his clothes dried. You set them out in the sun to make sure they dried more quickly, but poor Will would be stuck in those towels for a while. And they don’t cover much.

The implications of Will’s presence began to hit you. How could he have gotten to your world? How did you get him back? How much of the storyline had he experienced? Was he still in love with Elizabeth? He clearly hadn’t gotten to the end yet, the part where he died. No, he looked younger than that, and he was still wearing stockings, which meant he couldn’t be too far into the adventure.

You returned to the cabin to find him sitting in a chair, observing the little room, barely covered except for the towel around his hips and one hanging around his neck. He blushed as you entered, and you found yourself blushing in return.

“Hungry?” You asked. It helped dispel some of the awkwardness.

“A little.”

You produced a jar of peanut butter and some jelly from an icebox. You then spread them over bread, and handed Will the sandwich.

His eyebrows shot up after the first bite. “What is this?”

“Peanut butter,” you said, amused. Though it was a fairly normal thing where you came from, you were sure Will hadn’t tasted a lick of it in his life. It hadn’t been invented yet in his time, after all.

He took another bite, chewing slowly. “I’ve never heard of it. It’s good.”

You smiled. Then thought about what you were going to do with him. You could hardly sail back to the Scottish mainland and report him to the police. What would you say? Excuse me officer, but I think I’ve found a man from a movie. It seems he needs to get back to his world. Somehow, you didn’t think that would convince anyone.

It would be best, you thought, to keep him with you. It would be a little cramped with the two of you, but it would be okay. He could help you at the helm, and he might even prove useful in the area of cooking.

Will had wandered out on deck, and you followed him, watching as he looked about. He ran a hand over the gunwale, then stared confused at the middle of the deck.

“There aren’t any sails,” he said, brows wrinkling in puzzlement.

“There’s no need for any.”

“I haven’t been on a ship that doesn’t need sails before. How does it work?”

“It has an engine and propeller.” You quickly realized Will didn’t know what an engine was. “An engine is a sort of power-source. The propeller does exactly what you think it does; it propels the boat forward.”

Will stared, baffled. “Where am I, exactly? I’ve never heard of an ‘engine’ before.”

You debated how to answer him. “Well, you’re far from home, obviously. On the other side of the world, actually, in northern Scotland.”

“Scotland? But I was just in the Caribbean!”

“Yes, well,” you weren’t sure how to put this part, “you’re also about three hundred years in the future, too.”

Will just stared. “How will I get back home? How will I get back to Elizabeth? She needs my help! What if something awful happens to her?”

Ah. He does love Elizabeth. “We’ll find a way for you to get back home.” You hadn’t the first clue how, though. “As for Elizabeth, I think she’ll be okay. She seems to do just fine on her own, actually.” You hoped that she would, given that she would end up passed out on the edge of a pile of gold surrounded by pirates.

“I hope that Norrington gets to her if I can’t.” Will looked a little sick at the thought, but you could tell he meant it in earnest. “They’re engaged, after all. It would be only fitting.”

You put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t think of that now. There’s nothing you can do. Besides, she’s probably made up her mind about the two of you already.”

Will nodded, if a little miserably.

He continued to stare out at the sea for a long while, watching the waves roll past. Islands dotted the horizon, and gulls flew around the ship. He rested his head in his hands, looking out over the dark waters, likely wishing himself home. How lonely it must feel, to be in a time and place other than your own.

By the time evening rolled around, his clothes were dry enough to wear. He returned to your cabin, slipped them on, and came back out. The sun was just sinking below the horizon, and you knew it was time to start thinking about bed.

Speaking of beds, you only had one. When you mentioned as much to Will, he looked a little flustered.

“I’ll sleep out here, if you like. Or in a chair.”

“Will…”

“I don’t mind. I’ve slept in worse conditions, believe me.”

“The bed can be shared,” you assured him. “As long as we stay on our sides.”

Will continued to protest, but you insisted that you share. It wasn’t fair to leave him in a chair, not to mention, you didn’t know how long he’d be with you. You couldn’t have him sleeping in a chair for days.

Undressing for bed was a bit awkward. You turned your backs to each other, and you quickly put on a baggy shirt and shorts. Will had taken off his vest, letting his loose shirt hang open at the neck. He’d also stripped off his tight-fitting breaches in favor of the looser garment underneath. You exchanged an uncomfortable glance before getting into bed, each of you careful to keep to one side. The bed was small, and you were forced close together. You could practically feel the heat coming off his back.

You tried your best not to think about it, but you couldn’t shake the knowledge that Will was right there next to you. The thought made your face flush, and you were glad that Will couldn’t see it. No doubt he was feeling the same discomfort. He lay stiff as a board, not daring to move lest he touch you, and you could tell.

Sleep was hard, but by the time morning came, you were comfortably asleep and in no mood to get up. You awoke, sluggish, to the light of the morning. You closed your eyes again, only to wake with a start. At some point during the night, you and Will had rolled close to each other, and he was pressed up against your back, an arm resting over your side.

You couldn’t tell if he was awake, and you didn’t want to wake him up by moving. You tried to relax, but it was hard to do so with Will’s arm around you. You wondered, anxiously, what his reaction would be when he awoke.

You soon decided that the weight of his arm felt nice, and you began to relax. Will’s breath tickled the back of your neck, and you could tell by the steady rhythm that he was asleep. You began to doze off again, knowing that there was no rush to wake up. It’s lovely, really.

When you woke up again, Will was awake, too. He gently lifted his arm away, turning over. Clearly, he was trying to hide the fact that he’d been pressed up against you.

“Will?” You whispered.

“Yes?” He sounded nervous.

“Do you want breakfast?” You decided it was best not to mention that you’d felt him curled up against you.

“Oh, yes, thank you. Can I help?” He had rolled over onto his side again, and you turned to face him.

“You don’t have to.”

“I’m sure I can be of some help. I had to know how to make food when I worked as a blacksmith. Lord knows the owner of said smithy couldn’t cook for us.”

You hadn’t thought about that. “Sure.” It might be nice to have some help, anyway.

You rolled out of bed, moving to the small kitchen space provided on your boat. There was a small stove, a microwave, a small fridge, and some counter space. You pulled a packet of bacon from the fridge and a pan from a cupboard. You ended up making both eggs and bacon, while Will made toast. You had to teach him how to do it, of course, but he caught on quickly. Soon, you had a meal prepared.

You brushed up against each other often while in the kitchen due to the small amount of space. You were glad to see that Will was blushing just as hard as you. It made the situation a little less awkward. Still, it was nice to do domestic things with another person. Then you thought of Elizabeth, and your heart sank.

Will stared out the windows during breakfast, watching the island cliffs you were drifting by. A large spire of rock stuck up out of the waves, towering over you. You’d seen them before. The Orkney Islands had sea stacks, or tall columns of rock that jutted up from the ocean. They were once a part of the islands, but erosion had separated them into their own peaks. Gulls circled the one you were floating passed. They often made their nests in the rocks.

“I’ve never seen something like that before,” Will said. He stared out the window with a little smile. “I suppose I haven’t seen much at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve worked as a blacksmith until only recently, and I haven’t seen much in my adventures with Jack yet.” His face fell. “I wonder what’s happening back home.”

“We’ll get you back, I promise.”

He only nodded, looking sadly out the window.

“Tell me about this Jack person you keep referring to.” You knew full well who he was, of course, but it would be a good way to take Will’s mind off the sadness. You went over to the sink to do the dishes; there wasn’t room onboard for a dishwasher.

“He’s…” Will made a vague gesture with his hands, wiggling his fingers. “He’s eccentric, I think. And…” He trailed off again. When you looked back at him, you noticed him staring guiltily at you.

“And?”

“He’s a pirate.”

“Sounds exciting.”

Will’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s something Elizabeth would say. It’s not as exciting as you think it is. Jack can be a little disappointing.”

You snorted. More than a little, you thought. You couldn’t say as much to Will, of course, no matter how much you wanted to.

You turned back to washing the dishes, and sucked in a sharp breath, sticking your finger in your mouth. You’d cut yourself on something. It was the downside of washing dishes in the sink; sometimes, you couldn’t see what you were doing.

Will stood and came over to you, gently pulling your hand away from your mouth. He wiped a bubble of blood off your finger. “Here,” he took a small strand of cloth from around his wrist and began to wrap it around your fingers.

“Oh,” you said, “you don’t have to do that. I have bandaids in a drawer.” He gave you a confused look, but you led him over to the bandaids and pulled one out to show him.

Will removed the cloth from your hand, letting you wrap a bandaid around the cut. “That’s convenient,” he said. “I wish we had those where I come from.”

You smiled. The two of you walked out on deck, getting hit in the face with salty air. The deck was cold after the warmth of your cabin. You pulled a coat on and offered Will a blanket to wrap around his arms.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this cold,” he commented. “It’s always warm in the Caribbean. Though I guess the tropical storms can get a bit brisk.”

“Have you been through any storms at sea?”

“No. Have you?” His eyebrows shot up. Clearly, he didn’t like the thought of being caught in a storm on your little boat.

“No. I don’t sail out far enough to get caught in them.”

He nodded.

You spent the morning looking out over the horizon. You spotted countless types of birds to your port side, where an island poked out of the water. It was small, and nobody lived on it, but the wildlife in these areas were abundant.

A jet of air shot up into the sky a few miles off your starboard. A whale spout, no doubt. The islands had their fair share of whales, too, along with all the other types of wildlife. You could just make out the rolling hump of the whale’s back.

“I’ve only seen a whale once.” Will had come up next to you, his arm resting against yours. “They’re beautiful.”

“They really are. I bet you’ve seen lots of beautiful creatures. Surely you’ve seen all those tropical fish.”

“Aye, I have. I would go swimming and see them from the surface. Turtles, too.”

“We don’t have those out here. The ocean must be prettier where you live.”

“The ocean is pretty, no matter where you are. It’s all one great big sea.”

You supposed he was right. You stepped up to the helm, cruising the ship around the nearest island. Off to your port side, you pointed to the standing rocks near the cliffs, showing Will a circle of them. They’d been put there hundreds-if not thousands-of years before your time by the people who had first lived on these islands. They were hard to see from the boat, but you made due.

Will constantly helped you throughout the day, whether you were doing laundry or cooking. Despite the fact that you’d taken this trip to get away from people, you found Will’s company to be pleasant. You taught him how to steer the boat, keeping a hand on his to show him how little he needed to move the wheel to get the boat to turn.

Evening fell, and you huddled together to watch the sunset. It dipped over the horizon, sliding down into the waves, leaving behind a pink and orange sky. As the last glimmers of sunlight slipped away, a flash of green lit up the horizon. You wondered if Will knew what it meant yet, whether he knew about his father, or if he had any inkling of his fate.

He had an arm around you, and your head rested lightly on his shoulder. It was comfortable, now, having him so close. You’d spent all day like this on the cramped ship. You were constantly brushing up against each other and bumping into one another.

Will interrupted your train of thought. “It really isn’t so bad here. I want to go home, of course, but if I can’t…” He shuffled around a little. “I’m glad I’m here with you.”

You blushed. You felt him move next to you, and you turned, right at the same time as he did, so you were face to face and rather close. You were sure he could feel your blush, but you could tell he was nervous too. Does he plan on kissing me? Surely he couldn’t. He was still in love with Elizabeth, right?

“I don’t mean to be untoward, but…” He drifted off, staring at you. You couldn’t pull away, finding yourself both embarrassed and a little hopeful that he would kiss you.

And he did.

The kiss was soft, and a bit unsure, but it was sweet. When you pulled away, you were both smiling like idiots. He kissed you again, and followed it up with a kiss to the forehead. Despite the evening chill, you found yourself to be quite warm.

“Will?” you said. “I like having you here, too.”

He smiled.

“Oh, and you can put an arm around me while we’re sleeping without feeling uncomfortable.”

He blushed, and the two of you shared a quiet laugh, heading back inside the cabin. You knew the days ahead of you were bound to be strange, but you found yourself looking forwards to your time with Will. It couldn’t be all that bad, after all, if he was going to keep kissing you.

#potc #pirates of the caribbean #pirate #pirates #will #will turner #William turner #will turner x reader #x reader #potc x reader #self insert #writing #request #requests #drabble #drabbles

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ak47stylegirl · 4 years ago

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Sick Days: Chapter 10

Well this wasn’t the fic chapter I was expecting to post tonight 😅 but here we are lol😂 I hope you guys enjoy this XD (Alan sure isn’t lol 😂 The poor kid is sick 🤒) Also the artwork is one I did earlier this year.

The rest of the chapters

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Scott's pov

He quietly nudged open Alan's bedroom door with his elbow, Alan's dinner sitting on a dinner tray in his hands. It was definitely a challenge not to spill any of the hot soup because sheesh, Virgil had filled the bowl up to the brim.

The sun had gone down a long time ago, the darkness of night setting in, causing Alan's room to be submerged in darkness. He could just make out the silhouette of Alan laying on the bed, the little rocket night-light next to the bed illuminating his baby brother.

He could also see every little tremor that shook Alan's core, and he could hear every hitched and wheezy breath clearly, every sniffle and cough that Alan made, he could hear loud and clear.

It absolutely broke his heart…

But even though the night-light illuminated Alan and the room enough that it wasn't pitch black, it was still dark and he couldn't see the floor very clearly. The risk of walking blindly into a seven years old's room; especially with a bowl of hot soup in his hands, was too high of a risk, even for him.

Because anybody that has raised young children or been around young children a lot would know just how much kids loved to leave stuff scattered all across their bedroom floors for unexpecting adults to nearly trip over or step on.

So it was with much regret that he had to turn Alan's ceiling light on, flooding the room with light. Much to the dismay of his baby brother, who cried out in pain at the sudden change of lighting and buried his head under his blanket.

He grimaced, nudging Alan's bedroom door closed behind him, "Sorry, sweetie..." He apologised as he made his way over to Alan's bed, stepping around discarded toys that he would have surely tripped over if he didn't have the ceiling light on right now.

"I'm going to turn the ceiling light off in just a moment, okay?" He lowered the dinner tray down onto the bedside table.

Alan just whimpered in pure misery, a pair of feverish blue eyes peeking out from under the blanket. Alan's bed was covered in a blanket of dirty tissues; he thought with a concerned frown as he switched the bedside lamp on.

And the bucket beside the bed wasn't much better, tissues overflowing onto the floor, he thought as he made his way back over to the ceiling light switch, flicking it off. The room darkened quite a bit but not to the point where he couldn't see where he was walking. The bedside lamp had a softer glow than the ceiling light, which should be much gentler on Alan's eyes.

At least he hoped so; he thought with a worried frown as he walked back over to his baby brother, whose head was still buried under his blanket. He sat down on the edge of the bed, laying his hand lightly Alan's shoulder. "Sweetie, the light is off, you can come out now…"

Alan hesitantly removed his blanket from his head, blinking up at him with a feverish pout. "Is that better? The light not hurting your eyes anymore, is it?" He asked gently, laying the back of his hand against Alan's flushed cheek.

It was warm to the touch...

Alan looked at him for a moment before weakly nodding his head, his eyes flickering close briefly as Alan groaned, his face scrunching up in discomfort. "I...I don't feel well…" Alan sniffled damply, looking up at him with watery, bloodshot eyes.

"B-By h-" Alan broke off to cough harshly into his pillow a couple of times, his chest rattling with each cough, "-b-by head really h-hurts…" Alan finished with a stuffy groan and whimper.

"Oh baby, shhh I know..." He ran his hand gently through Alan's hair, letting his hand linger against Alan's forehead for a moment. (The forehead felt even hotter somehow...) "I know you don’t feel well…"

Alan sniffled.

He sighed softly, glazing over at the hot soup on the bedside table "Come on, It's time to sit up a bit, okay?" He gently slipped his hands under Alan's armpits, taking hold of the kid's torso and gently lifted him up into a sitting position; fixing Alan's pillows accordingly. "It's dinner time.."

Alan watched him with a sickly glaze, looking so sick and feverish; his flushed cheeks seeming even more apparent now; his nose visibly swollen and red, thick gunky snot oozing out of it.

He grimaced at the sight, grabbing a tissue, "But first I need to give you your medication, okay?" He explained as he gently dabbed away the moisture under Alan's nose.

Alan nodded with a little groan, slumping slightly against his pillow, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes.

His eyebrows furrowed as he ran his hand through Alan's hair, letting his hand wander down to Alan's feverishly warm cheek; watching as Alan closed his eyes and leaned into his touch.

Alan whimpered as he pulled his hand away, looking up at him with a pout. He signed sadly as he opened Alan's medicine and poured a measured amount into a little cup.

"One big gulp and it's all over, okay?" He comforted as he handed Alan the little cup; which his baby brother took reluctantly, holding it like it was a snake wanting to bite him. And maybe for a seven-year-old, a foul-tasting medicine was akin to a snake.

But what Alan was currently feeling must have been worse because Alan swallowed it in one go, without needing any more encouragement from him. Which was a worrying surprise as it told him just how sick Alan was feeling...

Usually, he would have to encourage Alan a bit more before he would take his medicine, he thought as he took the empty medicine cup and handed his baby brother a bottle of water.

But this time, he barely had to say anything…This cold really was a bad one, wasn't it? He thought with a frown, running his hand through Alan's hair as his baby brother took a couple of small slips from his water bottle.

Alan stops drinking abruptly, lowering his water bottle just before a massive sneeze burst out of him; stray going everywhere as Alan didn't have time to cover properly. That surprise sneeze was followed by another, this time into Alan's hand, and that sneeze was followed by another…

And another...

He gently slipped the water bottle out of Alan's hands as Alan continued to sneeze, each time getting wetter and more out of control; his baby brother sounding more congested every single second.

Alan's head collapsed back against his headrest with a weak groan once the fit was over, the poor kid looking beyond miserable and exhausted, little tear lines running down his cheeks. And Alan's nose was even redder than it had been, looking mighty irritated and sore; thick gunk oozing out from it all the way down passed Alan's chin, running like a faucet on full power.

"Oh, baby..." He grimaced softly as he reached for a couple of tissues, taking one and gently wiping under Alan's nose, causing Alan to whimper slightly; his nose flaring at the irritation of the tissue running across his nostrils.

He paused briefly what he was doing, waiting for a second to see if Alan was going to sneeze or not.

And with how irritated Alan's nose had been; he wasn't really surprised when Alan lurched forward, sneezing into the tissue he was holding over the kid's nose, soaking the tissue through thoroughly.

He wiped up the moisture from the last sneeze the best he could with the socked tissue, "Your nose really isn't your friend today, is it?" He mused softly as he threw the soaked tissue into the overflowing bucket, wiping the excess moisture off onto his pants.

Alan nodded with a congested sniffle, his head collapsing backwards against his pillow. He sighed as he gently lifted Alan's hand and wiped it clean as well, throwing the dirty tissues into the bucket by the bed.

He really needed to clean that out soon, he thought, looking down at the bucket with a frown; before turning his attention back to Alan, who's nose had already started to fill up again. And was beginning to run as well, causing Alan to sniffle and rub roughly at his nostrils; which crackled with moisture as the kid tried to stop the flow of his misbehaving nose.

"Oh kiddo, come here.." He grabbed one more tissue and gently titled Alan's head up slightly, holding the tissue over Alan's nose, "Give me a big strong blow.."

Alan sniffled, looking up at him with glazed over feverish eyes before blowing to the tissue; his nose still very congested and leaky as he pulled away.

He frowned, grabbing another tissue, "one more, kiddo…"

Alan groaned weakly before blowing into the tissue with a wet honk, soaking the tissue beyond use but that last blow seemed to have done the trick; Alan's nose stopping its assault for the moment.

"That's a good boy.." He whispered, laying a little kiss on Alan's forehead as he threw the dirty tissue into the bucket. "Now, I want to take your temperature, but after that, we can get some food into you, okay?" He smiled softly at Alan, his eyes filled with a tenderness reserved for his little brothers. "Virgil made your favourite, chicken and corn soup.."

Alan paled slightly.

"Do I have to eat?" Alan groaned, rubbing at his wet and irritated eyes with his fist, looking up at him "I Don't...I don't feel good; I'm not hungry…"

He frowned, worry blossoming in his stomach as he grabbed the thermometer off the bedside table. It wasn't like Alan to deny Virgil's chicken and corn soup. "Alan, you need to eat your dinner..."

"But...but my tummy hurts..."

"I'm sorry, but this isn't up for debate sweetheart…" he stroked Alan's hair back tenderly, slipping the thermometer under Alan's tongue. "You barely ate anything today, and what you have you've thrown up… I'm not letting you skip dinner..."

The teary-eyed pout Alan gave him was made even more heartbreaking by the thermometer sticking out of the kid's mouth, causing Alan to look so miserable and sick.

He couldn't help but pull Alan into a quick hug. "Sweetie, I'm only looking out for you.." he sighed, laying a gentle kiss to the side of Alan's head; pulling away as the thermometer beeped.

He sighed, frowning at the results. Alan's fever had gone up a bit since he last took the kid's temperature, not by much but still…

He would prefer his baby brother to not have a fever at all, he thought with a sigh, putting the thermometer back down on the table. He glanced over at Alan to find that the kid had slipped down his pillow a bit, his arms crossed in a pout as he stared off into the distance unseeingly.

He sighed softly, "Allie...come on, sit up, sweetheart.." He reached forward and gently lifted his baby brother up a bit; causing Alan to grumble and groan at him. He frowned, "I know you're not feeling well, but please cooperate with me, kiddo..."

Alan bit his bottom lip as he looked up at him, blue eyes shining with moisture; red-rimmed around the edges and cloudy with fever. It was evident to him if he pushed too hard or sounded in any way mad; that Alan would one hundred per cent start crying...

He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today, "I just want you to eat a little bit of your dinner, okay?" He explained as gently as he could, placing the dinner tray on Alan's lap, "You can't get better if you don't eat sweetie..."

There was visible steam coming up from the soup, which made Alan shake his head and scrunched his nose up, the steam shifting something in Alan's sinuses…

And before long, Alan started to hitch and gasp, his eyes watering immensely as he desperately reached for a tissue. Grabbing one just as he lost all control; a multiple of five powerful sneezes bursting out of Alan, barely giving the kid time to recover before the next one hit.

Alan was left shivering and shaking; all the colour having drained from Alan's cheeks, leaving him even paler than he originally had been.

"Oh, sweetheart..." he sighed softly, brushing Alan's hair back with his hand.

Alan made a sound that was in between a groan and whimper as he looked up at him; his nose shining red with moisture. "I...I don't feel-" Alan coughed harshly into his elbow, "-ugh..feel good.."

He frowned, his heart just breaking and aching so badly for his little brother, "I know, baby.." He comforted, his eyes crinkling with worry as he grabbed a fresh tissue, "I know..."

He gently mopped up the excess moisture under Alan's nose, being careful not to irritate Alan's sore nostrils further. Alan's nose had started to drip and run; full to the brim with snot.

He sighed, holding the tissue over Alan's nose. "Blow, kiddo.."

Alan blew into the tissue, sounding very much like a stuffed up, water clogged foghorn. He frowned, throwing the used tissue away. His poor baby...

Alan sniffled, roughly rubbing his nose as he stared down at his dinner; baby blue eyes foggy with illness. "Stars?" Alan croaked, coughing slightly as he picked up one of the croutons.

His eyes softened, "Yeah, I made them just for you, kiddo.." He smiled softly, running his hand through Alan's hair. "Because I know how much you like them. I even made a rocket…" He pointed to the crooked triangle shape-ish crouton, laughing slightly at his attempt. "At least I tried too.."

"Oh…" Alan mumbled with a wet little sniffle.

His smile slipped slightly as he watched Alan put the crouton down and continue to just stare at his food, not moving to eat any of it.

"Allie, come on…" He sighed as he grabbed the spoon off the tray and scooped up a bit of soup, gently blowing on it before he brought it up to Alan's mouth; which Alan reluctantly opened after a second. "I just want you to eat a little bit, that's all I'm asking…"

He continued to feed Alan a couple of more spoonfuls, Alan slowly getting more willing to eat after each new spoonful, a little bit of colour returning to Alan's cheeks. "You think you can finish the rest while I clean up your room a bit kiddo?" He turned the spoon handle towards Alan, holding it out for Alan to take.

Alan nodded with a little sniffle, taking the spoon and scooping up a bit of the soup, taking a small sip. Alan's hand wasn't as steady as his had been, causing some of the soup to dribble down his chin, and drop onto his pyjama top.

But that didn't really bother him; he was just happy that his little brother was eating, he thought with a small smile. He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the tip of Alan's forehead, softly whispering "Good boy…" as he stood up.

Now onto the not so fun stuff, he thought with a grimace as he looked at the mess that was Alan's room, toys littered all over the floor and tissues overflowing from the bed and bucket/bin. Not that any of this was fun, he thought with a sigh, his eyes shifting to his sick little brother.

Toys or tissues? He thought, quickly deciding to deal with the tissues last as that would be the messiest job, seeing as the bin was already overflowing, and there looked to be half a bucket worth of tissues on the bed as well.

He was halfway through cleaning up Alan's toys when he heard the sound of Alan starting to cough. "You're okay kiddo?" He asked, concerned, watching as Alan nodded, spluttering into his arm.

He frowned, before turning back to his task at hand, but he could not stop himself from glancing over at Alan every so often, worry churning in his stomach. He chucked the last toy into Alan's toy box and closed the lid, stretching slightly, his back hurting from bending over so much.

Who knew Alan had that many toys? No wonder he always tripped on them, there were so many… now those tissues, he thought with a frown, looking at the overflowing bin. He's going to need a rubbish bag from the kitchen...

"S-Scotty?" Alan asked weakly with a damp sniffle, looking at him with wet bloodshot eyes, “Where're you going?"

"I'm just going to get a rubbish bag for those tissues, sweetheart.." He smiled softly at Alan, his hand resting on the door handle. "I'll be right back; you just continue eating, okay?"

"Oh…" Alan sniffled with a little nod. "Okay…"

----

He emptied the bucket full of used tissue into the black rubbish bag, before gently stroking the ones that were on the bed into the bag as well, some falling onto the floor, joining the other ones on the floor.

"You sure know how to go through tissues kiddo…" He sighed softly, trying to make light of the situation as he bent down and picked up the last couple of tissues. "You're going to need another tissue box at this rate…"

"S-Sorry.." Alan mumbled weakly, slumped into his pillow, dinner tray discarded on the bedside table. "I-I don't m-mea-" Alan sneezed into his hand, launching forward before collapsing back down with a misery filled groan, wrapping his arms around his middle.

"Oh Allie, it's not your fault, I was only joking..." He comforted as he sat down on the edge of the bed with a sad look in his eyes. He stroked Alan's fringe to the side, letting his hand linger. "This cold is just being very terrible to you, isn't it?"

Alan nodded, his eyes getting more misty and wet. "It's just k-keeps getting worse…" Alan's voice creaked, his bottom lip starting to shake and tremble. A tear slipped down Alan's cheek, followed by a couple more.

Alan gasped breathlessly, rubbing his eye with his fist, trying to stop the flow but being unsuccessful as more tears started to make strong, powerful rivers down his cheeks.

"Oh baby, come here…" He scooted closer to Alan, wrapping his arms around his baby brother in a comforting hug. Alan latched onto him with a little sob, burying his face into his side, his little fists desperately grasping his shirt tightly.

"Shhh, I'm here... I'm here, shhh, it's alright..." he whispered, gently stroking the back of Alan's head, his eyes filled with sadness and heartfelt pain.

Because he knew that this was just the first day of this horrible cold, and he knew that in the next couple of days, Alan was going to worsen.

The first day was only the teaser to the cold that would follow, and seeing how bad today had been for Alan, he was significantly worried. It was only going to get worse from here on out…

He sighed, leaning his cheek gently on the top of Alan's head. "I know it seems like it's getting worse and maybe it is, but that's why I got you booked in for a doctors appointment tomorrow sweetheart..."

To make sure this was just a cold…

Alan looked up at him, his eyes wide and vulnerable, making a sound between a whine and a sob. "I...I don't want to g-go out tomorrow, I...I feel too...too sick!"

His eyebrows pinched together in pain as he looked down at Alan, his eyes soft but filled with so much worry and pain. "Baby, sometimes there are just things we have to do; it doesn't matter if we want to do them or not..."

More tears fell down Alan's cheeks.

He sighed deeply, "It will be worth it, I promise…" He caressed Alan's cheek, running his thumb gently across the bottom of Alan's eye, catching a couple of tears.

All the crying had caused Alan's nose to start running again, thick gunky snot oozing out onto Alan's reddening top lip.

He reached for a tissue and gently wiped Alan's nose and upper lip, grimacing slightly as Alan whimpered in pain, the soft tissue starting to feel like sandpaper to Alan's sore nose.

He sighed, throwing the tissue away and bringing Alan close once again, his baby brother's head collapsing against his chest, the medicine starting to kick in, making Alan one tired little boy.

One tired little boy indeed, he thought, looking down at Alan, who's tears had dried up and who was now looking thoroughly drained. "Come on; I think it's time you get some rest-"

"Hey, guys!" Gordon opened Alan's door with a bang, causing Alan to jump in fright. "We're putting a movie on! I was wondering if Alan wanted to join?!" Gordon asked, his eyes wide with excitement.

He could hear Virgil yelling from the living room 'I told you not to disturb them, Gordon! Get back in here!' He blinked in surprise for a second before frowning, rubbing the bridge of his nose with a tired sigh.

"Gordon, I'm trying to get Alan to sleep here…" He explained quietly, his hand running up and down Alan's back in an effort to soothe Alan after the momentary fright he had gotten from Gordon bragging in unexpectedly.

At least Gordon had the decency to look embarrassed, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "I...yeah, um sorry, I just…" Gordon looked down at the floor, rubbing the sole of his shoe into the carpet. "I...I just thought I should offer, you know? I thought it would; I don't know, maybe cheer Allie up a bit or something?"

His eyes softened slightly, his frown turning into a tired smile. "Maybe another time, Gordy, okay?" He suggested as Alan's eyes started to flicker close, the soothing rubbing motion of his hand easing Alan to sleep. "Allie needs his sleep, but I'll join you in a moment, okay?"

Gordon nodded, looking a lot more timid than he did when he first entered the room, "Okay, sure..." Gordon turned to leave.

"Hey Gordon, one more thing!" he called, causing Gordon to pause and look at him. He smiled softly, "it better not be another sea life documentary again…"

Gordon's eyes lit up, "Aww but sea life documentaries are so fun to watch, don't you know that Scotty..." Gordon grinned cheekily at him, quickly disappearing down the hallway.

He chuckled, glad to see Gordon back to his normal self. The fish may frustrate him at times, but he couldn't stand to see him down and not his upbeat self.

He turned his attention back to Alan, finding his baby brother on the edge of sleep. He smiled softly at the sight as he slowly and gently shifted Alan into a sleeping position, fixing the kid's pillow with one hand, the other supporting his sleepy baby brother.

He silently moved off the bed.

"Jeffy.." Alan muttered softly, reaching out blindly, unable to keep his eyes open much. "Want...want Jeffy.."

Jeffy was Alan's beloved teddy bear. The kid had found it when he was around four years old and hurting from their parents' deaths. He had been against being it home at first as it had been incredibly dirty and broken, missing most of its stuffing.

He had no clue where it had been or what it had touched, so it wasn't rocket science to realise why he didn't want his baby brother anywhere near it. Any well-meaning guardian/parent would react with the same concerns.

But Alan had already gotten attached, and no amount of reasoning was going to change his mind. He remembers those tear-filled eyes that had looked up at him and sobbed, 'I don't want him to end up like mummy and daddy..'

So it goes without saying that broke him, and he gave in; letting Alan keep the teddy bear on the condition that they were going to wash it and fix it up before he could play with it. Alan had stood in front of the washing door the whole time it was in there, refusing to let Jeffy out of his sight.

Even when they were sewing the patches on, Alan had insisted on supervising the process, sitting on Virgil's lap as he sewed the bear back together. It was a very much beloved bear…

(And when it had gotten lost for a week after they had first moved to the new house, Alan had been inconsolable...)

He smiled softly as he spotted said bear, it had fallen between the bed and side table. "Shhh, he's right here, baby…" he whispered, handing Alan his teddy bear.

The second the teddy was in Alan's arms, it was snuggled close to his chest as Alan rolled onto his side. He grabbed the blanket and brought it up to Alan's neck, carefully tucking his baby brother in.

"Sweet dreams, Allie…" He lightly kissed Alan's temple, gently stroking Alan's hair out of the way. "I hope you feel better in the morning…" He silently picked up the dinner tray and flicked off the lamp, making his way out of the room.

He paused at the door, taking one last look at Alan before leaving, closing the door behind him.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #original thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2004 #thunderbirds fanfiction #alan tracy #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #Gordon Tracy #sick fic #sick days #normal au

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adonis-koo · 5 years ago

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tease

| 5 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,

Word count: 10k

Previous | Next

// Playlist //

Song Mood

Tags: Drying humping, dirty talk, unintentional exhibitionism, sub/dom overtones jungkook being a jealous on the down low

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter presents them.

“Wow…” It was all you could manage to say as you clasped the clipboard in shock, there had to be over thirty people on this list. And they were all for you…? You understood to a degree, despite your humbleness that people enjoyed your performance due to the money thrown at you. But you didn’t expect so many people requesting to schedule you for private dancing.

As if sensing you’re slightly overwhelmed aura Jungkook gently pulled the clipboard from your grasp, the content smile tugged on his lips as he hummed, “Mhm, all for you babygirl. I told you guys would be lining up.”

You found yourself bashfully rubbing the back of your neck making him laugh as he set the clipboard down, leaning over the counter where it had become routine for you both to talk before heading separate ways until he pulled you aside for your training, “Don’t get too ahead of yourself just yet baby,” He clacked his tongue in amusement, “You don’t have to schedule anything until you’re one hundred percent confident in your own ability. I can still go over the ropes of scheduling private dances after practice though if you don’t have anywhere to be.”

Your first initial thought was a big no, of course, the idea of being on stage by yourself, for only one person...Just the idea felt so intimate it almost made you blush, but you also had kept Jungkook’s word in the back of your mind, if this was how you’d be making most of your money then you’d be dumb to not take the chance.

And of course Jungkook was right, you’d have to become more comfortable before you actually do any private dancing, but it wouldn’t hurt to learn the ropes, meanwhile, the more you knew the more you became acquainted with the idea, the less opposed you’d be to it in time, “No I don’t have class until after lunch today so I’m free. Can we get something to eat though? Practice is so miserable on an empty stomach.” You groaned as you laid your chin on your spread out arms with a whine.

Truth be told you were too tired to do anything besides roll out of bed just in time to shower and head out, but breakfast was important to you regardless and just as you said, practice was miserable when you were hungry.

Jungkook cracked a smile as he ruffled your hair, gaining a whiney humph from you as he rolled his eyes, despite the amusement that lit them up, “Sure babygirl. Anyways you better get to practice before Hoseok gets on to me for distracting you,” He sent a wink your way before letting his hand drop to your chin giving it a little squeeze, “I’m working on a routine for tonight so just head back to the room at 9:30 okay?”

“M’kay.” You yawned out with a stretch as you nodded. Jungkook had rounded the bar, passing by your chair before suddenly stopping, making you tilt your head as he turned around, his eyes flickering around the room before settling on you again as if debating something in his mind.

You raised your brows in silent question making him speak up, “Just some advice but...I’m sure you’ve figured out jealousy runs rampant out here baby. Just ignore anyone who gives you shit and above all else,” He paused for a moment, making you swallow at his expression, you could tell he was serious, “Don’t pick fights. It’s not worth it.”

It was quiet for a moment before you sighed, shifting in your seat as you muttered, “Like I have an argumentative bone in my body.” You had said it mainly to lighten the mood he had set so suddenly, and just as you hoped you watched the tension in his shoulders relax a little as he cracked a smirk.

Pushing his hands into the pockets of his grey sweatpants as he tilted his head, “I don’t know babygirl, I can’t help but wonder if you secretly are.”

You had squinted your eyes at him as the pout twisted onto your lips making his smirk pulled into a cheeky smile as you huffed, he was such a tease it almost frustrated you, “Let’s not find out then, right?”

“Right.” Jungkook nodded, he had turned around shaking his head but you could tell he was still smiling as he headed to the private room, asshole. After Jungkook left you pulled yourself from your pouty position before making your way to Hoseok who had been leading your group practice of the day.

Apparently all of the soloists switched off each day for an overall practice for all fillers but you noticed Jimin, Hoseok, and Rosé often took on the class while all the others- Jungkook included avoided teaching like the plague. You had only shared one full class with Jungkook teaching and he had been downright brutal on all the girls, even though he didn’t speak to you the whole time half the fillers glared at you enough to send your body into shock that day as if him being harsh was somehow your fault.

Hoseok however, was more of a fun teacher, he wasn’t any less harsh but he had been gifted with a much softer way of correcting the girls. You usually filed towards the back of the room while following along, you weren’t very confident in any sort of combinations or choreography without messing up, being towards the back of the room allowed you to breathe and just focus on more of the sensuality.

It had been a bit difficult at first, your brain had been hardwired for so long on the technique of every move that the quality strippers used came very foreign to you, you found yourself trying to focus on it more days then less even if you messed up several times. Even towards the back, you could hear the occasional snickers around you from the other girls but you had begun learning to ignore them.

It was a cold crowd in this room and maybe you were finally not letting it bother you. In fact, what was their problem? You had been getting constant looks thrown at you the entire practice, even more so than normal, had it been because of last night? You assumed it had to be normal for strippers when it came to money being thrown onto them, right? That was usually a staple, so what was the problem? In fact, it wasn’t even that much, you had made a whole 30 bucks last night, that looked like an impressive stack if you ignored that they were one-dollar bills.

“Alright everyone, five minute break,” Hoseok called out, running a hand through his messy hair as the practice quickly disassembled into everyone going for water and phone breaks.

You did the same as you sighed walking up the bar as you drank a large refreshing gulp of water, your feet pulsed in pain every step of the way as you winced, the tenderness of the balls of your feet felt raw and you were positive you had at least three blisters. Adjusting to stripper heels had been taxing on your feet and you shuddered at remembering your next rehearsal later that day, all of the calloused you had gained from regular dancing rendering useless. Sighing you shifted your weight on your feet as you winced, maybe you’d ask Rosé later if she had any advice on how to adjust to the heels quicker? Or was this something you’d just have to endure until your feet properly calloused?

Taking one more breath you began to make your way back to your original spot as you felt several glares thrown your way, glancing between people you focused back down trying to maintain a low profile. Your foot suddenly caught on something causing you to gasp as you stumbled before hitting the ground, your hands catching yourself forcing pain to flush inside them as you breathed out a wince turning around at the sound of a snicker, “What a good reflection of your performance from last night huh. Sloppy.”

You glanced up at the girl, all too familiar with her even if she rarely spared you a glance- as if you weren’t worth her time to begin with most days. Chan Hee was apparently one of the top fillers and one of the biggest rumored picks for becoming a soloist later into the year. Or so you had heard from Seulgi with the few friends she managed to make here, she was also ruthless to ‘competition’ and had even gotten three of the other girls to leave the club- or so it was rumored.

Chan Hee was, without a doubt one of the coldest of people you had ever heard of, it was like she lived the popular high school girl trope even though everyone here was well beyond their years in school. Your expression hardened and your brows pressed together as you heard a few girls around you snicker at her words as you stood up.

“And yet they still threw money at me.” You clacked your tongue catching a brief scowl from her as Jungkook’s words rang in your mind, unfortunately he didn’t seem to quite realize that no matter how hard you tried, just your very presence provoked the girls here. Still though, you weren’t here to fight, but after becoming acquainted with the initial shock of your harsh surroundings you quickly adapted, you hated confrontation, but if being a dancer taught you anything- it’s that you couldn’t afford to be a pushover in this setting.

“I just have to ask L/n,” Chan Hee called out, not giving up so easily, as if she was the one trying to provoke you into doing something, or maybe she was hoping to get you kicked out, you weren’t sure, but you weren’t going to feed into this, “What did you do to convince Jungkook? I mean I think we all know you’re too much of a frigid bitch to give good head, so was it money? Did you blackmail him?” She followed behind as she mocked an innocent questioning tone.

Pausing you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you swallowed thickly, your words caught in your throat at the idea. Did everyone really assume you were the one who convinced Jungkook to take you in? Did they really not understand how he worked? You had only went through one group lesson with him while you were positive some of the girls here had endured dozens. He didn’t take people out of pity, that was the one thing you had come to terms with. Jungkook wanted you because he saw potential in you, you had nothing to do with his choice.

“Has it ever occured to you…” You spoke up before finally turning around, watching her tall figure peer down at you like you were a speck of dust as she crossed her arms, “That not everyone sucked dick to get on here? Maybe you should’ve become a prostitute if that’s your go too to get what you want.” You shrugged coolly and you could hear several people choke back a laugh, Chan Hee’s glare suddenly boiled down into you causing you to take a hesitant step back, your expression becoming a little cautious.

“Bold words for a little trainee,” She sneered out stepping closer to you and you watched her fist clench, turning white as if physically restraining herself, “You better watch yourself L/n.” With that last vague threat she snapped around as you watched her walk away the crowd of people parting from her as you rolled your eyes before sighing. Why did everyone have to hate you? You rarely ever talked or caused trouble, you hadn’t even done anything to warrant any hate.

Seulgi had hurried up to your side, anger burning in her eyes as if she wanted to incinerate Chan Hee’s back as she walked away, “What did that bitch say to you? I’ll knock her on her ass just say the word Y/n!”

“Seulgi I’m fine!” You suddenly grabbed her forearm as she attempted to launch herself in Chan Hee’s direction like a bat out of hell, your expression quickly subsiding to one with worry as you knew your bestfriend could get a little...violent at times, “She was just being a bitch- nothing unusual at Cherry Bomb.” It was true, for the fraction of nice girls you had met here, they were easily overpowered by others who only had their eyes on their goal of becoming the best stripper and they would do anything to get there.

All rules and morals cast aside.

Seulgi gritted her teeth before sighing exasperatedly, “You’re too nice Y/n,” maybe she was right, but you had already stepped on Chan Hee’s toes and technically- that wasn’t even your fault she was the one who had provoked you and then proceeded to get angry because you chose to defend yourself rather than stand there and take it, “I can’t stand her she talks shit about everyone here, Hoseok got pissed at me Wednesday because I ended up smacking her right across the jaw when she tried to drag you.” She admitted with a mutter.

Your lips parted and you were sure your eyes went wide, you had tried asking Seulgi about what happened Wednesday and why she had seemed so brooding but she refused to ever part with why her and Hoseok had fought...she...she got in trouble with her mentor for you? You felt a surge of warmth at her defensiveness for you but you ended up frowning, “Thanks but…” You glanced down at your feet, “You really can’t do that Seulgi…’

“Like hell I can!” Seulgi snapped back as if bristled at the idea of not being able to defend her friends. She was always more quick tempered then you ever were and while it was sweet, it was also not a good start for her either.

Frowning you finally let go of her as you glanced away, “You can but you shouldn’t, people here already assume I can’t fight my own battles because Jungkook keeps intervening, as much as I appreciate it, you shouldn’t defend me either. Besides you got in a lot of trouble with Hoseok over that, I’m never gonna prove myself here if I don’t do it on my own.”

Seulgi sighed herself, frowning as she crossed her arms, knowing you were right but still not enjoying that it wasn’t just a statement but also a fact, “Fine- but if she starts trying to sabotage you that ain't gonna fly by me without notice babe.”

“Well let’s not jinx anything. I doubt she’ll stoop that low.” You rolled your eyes as you both laughed. Hearing Hoseok call everyone back into their places you both parted ways as practice continued.

After finishing up with regular practice you had gathered your bag up before yawning, checking the time before heading to the back, noticing your step had fallen in line with Hoseok and Seulgi’s, “Nice job by the way Y/n,” You glanced up at Hoseok in surprise at the compliment, had you been improving? His lips tilted into a small smile as he clarified his words, ‘With Chan Hee- I mean.” Your expression went sheepish at his words as your gaze shot to the floor, he had heard that!? Why hadn’t he stopped it was the better question?

“O-oh um! I didn’t realize you saw that…” You murmured fiddling with your fingers as you felt conflicted, was he going to tell Jungkook what happened? You really didn’t want to hear a lecture from him this morning and it wasn’t even your fault!

Hoseok seemed cracked a smile before patting your shoulder, “Y’know- I’m not gonna lie Y/n, I wasn’t sure about you at first but you can’t let people push you around, you did good.” Suddenly his words clicked as you silently understood, Hoseok must’ve had some reservations about you and your gentle nature with this kind of job.

Thinking back on Seulgi’s words that must’ve really not helped your situation in Hoseok’s eyes, had he not stepped in to see if you could actually defend yourself? Whatever the case may be you obviously did the right thing to raise your status in Hoseok’s eyes.

Rather then feeling pleased with his words you felt nothing but the opposite as the wave of frustration built inside you, you had been right. There was a lot of people here doubting you because not only your soft nature but because of the people who stuck up for you. It wasn’t their fault though, this was on you. If you wanted to gain any respect you were going to have to get a thicker skin.

You made a silent vow to yourself before entering into the soloist room only to find Jimin had kept catcalling Jungkook on stage, who had the world's most annoyed look on his face as he continued his routine ignoring the blonde. Setting your bag down the other soloist’s greeted you as you sat down in the semi formed circle.

“Hey Y/n,” Seokjin sat down beside you as you nodded with a smile to greet him, eyes focused on the stage where Jungkook was working, he looked vastly different at the moment on stage then when he was performing, no smile or smirk was present and his brows were pressed together as he rubbed the back of his head pausing his movement, as if trying to figure out a smoother transition between moves, “Would you mind if I asked for a favor.”

“Hm?” You glanced to Seokjin with raised brows. Before he could speak, though he had also gained Rosé’s attention as her lips coiled into a teasing smile, “Favor huh? Better make sure Guk doesn’t hear you.”

Seokjin glared sharply at his old trainee who clacked her lips and winked playfully between you both as you flusteredly looked at your lap, that wasn’t why Seokjin was here right? There was no doubt his face was hand carved by God himself and just the idea was making you blush like a preteen girl talking to her first crush, “Ignore her, I was wondering if you’d be able to help Namjoon and I with dancing? I mean we get the overall concept but a little more detailed structure would be nice...You don’t have to say yes, though if you’re schedule is too crazy- I can understand first hand what it’s like being in college while working here.” He gave you a commiserating smile.

You perked up though at his words before giving him a beaming smile of your own, you were always enthused about teaching, you wouldn’t dub yourself an amazing teacher but you’d be more than happy to help where you could, “Of course! I’d be more than happy to help! I have an hour break before my art history class if you guys could make it then…?”

Seokjin’s face brightened significantly as he smiled brightly mirroring your own, his teeth could’ve sparkled easily and your face was heating up again at being so close to someone so beautiful, “I can add you into our group chat and we can talk altogether there.” You nodded before giving him your number.

Rosé had suddenly perked up as well though as she enthusiastically replied, “Oh! I should add you into my groupchat as well! Good idea Jinnie.” Seokjin shot her a glare at the nickname making her cheekily smile again as she leaned back on her hands. Just then the music from the speakers paused as you all glanced back towards Jungkook who groaned, jumping down from the stage as he ran a hand through his hair looking frustrated, eyes shooting to you as his lips quirked up slightly only for it to quickly fall back down as he glanced to Seokjin who’s shoulder brushed against yours though you hadn’t noticed.

His brows furrowed again as his irritated expression returned before suddenly sitting down next to you, what you didn’t anticipate was the harsh grip on your waist before dragging you into his lap making you squeak out in surprise, face burning hot red as you squirmed, “Jungkook!” he ignored your cry instantly trying to claw your way out of his grip but he wasn’t budging. You swallowed with another whimpered as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, forcing you to press back into his chest as you finally wilted, covering your face. What did you do to warrant that?

“Did you have a good practice?” Jungkook asked, acting like he didn’t just force you into his lap like a cat into water making everyone stare him while trying to cover their laughs at his obvious broody expression that reeked of jealousy unbeknownst to you.

You didn’t reply for a brief second before letting out a small whine, “Jungkook…” you shifted in his lap before trying to pull out of his arms, it was still too early in the morning to be put in this position. What was his problem? Was it because he was struggling with his choreography?

You felt a surge of worry cast over you, watching the large taut muscles flex on his biceps as he squeezed you tighter gaining another squeak from you, “I said: did you have a good practice?” His voice became stern and gritted making you involuntarily rub your thighs together as you let out another soft whine.

Unable to resist his commanding tone as you nodded, your hands looking small as they wrapped around his veiny forearms, tracing patterns into his warm skin as you murmured, “It was fine, fillers are still harsh and I still look like look as stiff as a bored, nothing any different from any other day.” You tried to keep yourself from squirming at the feeling of his nose burying into the crook of your neck, not used to such affection from nearly anyone.

“That’s not what the crowd last night was saying,” You jumped at the sudden nip of his teeth in the crook of your neck, you didn’t think your cheeks could get anymore red but Jungkook just loved proving you wrong, “Have some confidence babygirl.”

Seokjin had muffled a laugh at how tense your shoulders were and how desperate you were trying to not claw out of Jungkook’s grip, as if knowing you’d only make things worse if you tried, “You gonna let her go? Squeeze any harder and you’re gonna break her Guk.” Seokjin couldn’t resist the snort that escaped his lips as Jungkook suddenly pressed you closer to himself, his glare drilling into his elder.

You only store at the ground as if trying to focus on not imploding and Seokjin, as much as he watched in amusement knew he probably just made your day a whole lot worse with Jungkook, “Come on babygirl, let’s get started for training,” You never realized how much you had been holding your breath until you exhaled in relief as he let go of you, letting you stand up. Rather then taking you to the other side of the room Jungkook had stopped at the steps of the stage making you furrow your brows, “We’re working on solo skills today, you’ll never get used to being up here by yourself until you start doing it.’

The idea made you nervous as you frowned, fiddling with your fingers as you glanced towards your feet. He was right of course, especially if you would start taking on private dancing, and you’d expect to do it soon given your bills were racking up and between your small tip and check both from Cherry Bomb it wasn’t gonna cut it. No matter how shy you were, you needed money and you already stripped once, there was no reason to back out now.

“I guess…” You hummed, lips quivering slightly, still a bit apprehensive at the idea, not to mention you were in a room full of soloist’s, really good soloists, might you add. Albeit everyone here was surprisingly welcoming and you doubt they judge you, but still.

Jungkook whirled around, eyes landing on you as he curved a brow, “How many times do I have to tell you baby? No ‘I guess’, you’ll be fine.” He stepped up as you trailed behind, sporting a tired pout before he started throwing together a combination for you to work on.

It didn’t matter how many times you did it, being on stage on your own was still scary and you kept messing up before whining and stamping your feet in frustration, Jungkook had been sat down in a metal fold up chair usually used for clients as he groaned, letting his manspread further as he rested his hands on his thighs while leaning forward, “Who cares if you mess up baby? It’s inevitable on stage, this isn’t like at your studio, if you mess up keep going and if you forget choreography make up your own until you can remember it again.” You sighed in frustration, at the very least you seemed to be getting the rhythm of sensuality involved for dancing, but when one thing becomes accomplished another problem becomes apparent.

Jungkook started the music over again as you retried, you had managed to remember the whole combination, rolling down to the floor before thrusting your hips into the air, “Higher Y/n!” Jungkook called out over the music making you instantly try to achieve what he was looking for, “That’s not higher.” He sighed leaning back in his seat, making you huff as you tried once more but upon not hearing his validation you dropped your ass back to the floor in frustration.

“Just show me!” You called back, annoyance flooding your veins at his pickiness, how much higher could you possibly go? One thing you had found that worked between you both was anytime you struggled between movement you’d ask him to demonstrate so you could try and imitate it. It saved you both a lot of frustration with one another most days.

Jungkook sighed in exasperation as he stood up walking up to the stage before pulling himself up, you were about to sit up before he held out a hand halting you, “Stay,” his voice lowered slightly making you frown but you did as told, a little confused as to why but saying nothing.

It wasn’t until he suddenly dropped to his knee’s slotting his hips between your legs that you had a vague idea of where this was going, squeaking you tried to squirm to get away from him, his hands suddenly lunging for your hips was you pleaded, “Wait! Wait! Wait!”

“Like this,” He suddenly pulled your hips into the air making you whimper, your cheeks burning as your back arched uncomfortably off the ground, you could definitely feel the difference but still. He didn’t have to show it like that! Having your legs open and him kneeling between them with his hands on your hips had your body burning with wet shame as you suddenly covered your face, your mind going blank as you tried to close your legs only to be stopped by his own body.

“Nu’uh, we’ve been through this before,” Jungkook instantly lunged down, pulling your hands from your face as he pressed your wrists into the ground as you whined, wiggling beneath him, “Be a be a good girl and look at me.” Your eyes were squinted in shyness and your cheeks were bright red, hair fanned beneath you as you watched Jungkook peer down at you as the predatory smirk started to coil on his lips, “Now move with my hips.”

He purposely thrusted his hips into yours making you jolt as you let an auditory whimper leave your lips, you were beyond embarrassed about this situation and not only that but you could feel everyone watching the both of you in amusement as you felt the hard imprint of his cock against your thigh. Jungkook started out slow letting his hips languidly roll with yours as he guided them higher, his eyes lidded with pleasure at the feeling of his strained, swollen members brushing against the soft skin skin of your thighs that had been exposed today from your shorts.

Fuck. You had forgotten how big he was, and even in the brief moment you had sat on his lap when you first did auditioned you only had barely felt it before skittishly shooting away from him. Now he was grinding it against you on purpose as his hips began to move faster, making your own lift higher not only for the sake of getting the movement but now in hopes of keeping him pressed against you.

“Are you wet?” Jungkook suddenly asked, pressing his tongue against his cheek as he parted his lips, purposely rubbing his shaft down your slit making you gasp louder than you ever wanted too as you closed your eyes, your hips beginning to go off rhythm as they impatiently began to buck into his, “Is that pretty pussy soaked babygirl?”

Something about his nickname for you had your head spinning and your body burning intensely as you let out a hitched breath, feeling him press himself harder into your throbbing little clit as you tried to keep from strangling out a moan, “J-Jungkook…”

“When do you think they’re gonna fuck?” Jimin sat down by Rosé as he popped a can of soda, glancing to her in curiosity as they both watched the lewd display on stage, Jungkook ruthlessly dryhumping himself on his trainee- a bad habit that he was beginning to form, you looked pitiful beneath him with red cheeks and shy eyes but you were so obedient as your hips dragged along his.

Rosé snorted a laugh as they both exchanged glances, “I’m surprised they’ve lasted this long- tell you what, if they don’t fuck before Seasonella I’ll dare them at the afterparty.” They both glanced back at the stage where you had let out a whiney moan hips squirming before Jungkook finally grabbed your thighs roughly, holding them still as his hips sped up.

Jimin raised his brows as he gave a smile on his own, “You think she’s gonna get picked for Seasonella?” He was surprised at his mentors words but then again, you had a promising future ahead, it really wasn’t all too much of a long shot when he really thought about it.

“It’s hard telling right now but even if she doesn’t get on the list-” Rosé licked her lips in thought before they both glanced at you both again, “You really think Jungkook is gonna leave her here on her own?”

“You know what?” Jimin clacked his tongue, eyeing you both from his seated position casually as Jungkook sat up on his knees, head hung back and eyes shut as his hips slowly rolled into yours, heavily focused on his impending orgasm, Jimin couldn’t say he was surprised at the outcome of this situation, “Fair point.”

Jungkook held your thighs open and his throbbing cock kept hitting against your clit in all the right ways that had your back arching painfully and pathetic whimpers and moans escaping your lips, “Fuck.” You let out another small moan as you clenched around nothing but air as your body was beginning to teeter on the edge of it’s orgasm.

Lunging down Jungkook caged you between his arms, all sense having left his body as he let his lips drag down the lobe of your ear, giving all sorts of kitten licks and nips between his words, “Mmm I can feel how wet you are babygirl- feels so good on my cock. I could just strip you ass naked and show everyone just how good my little girl is.”

Your body was practically spazzing at his words, his cock hitting against the sweet spot of your clit that had you whimpering as you wrapped your legs around his waist, “R-right there! Please! Please Jungkook.” You couldn’t even escape the quiet whimpers from your lips as you tried to wrap your arms around his neck, his hands suddenly pinned them back down as he let his tongue drag down your neck a smirk pressing into your skin.

“Right there?” He dragged his words out as he pressed his swollen cock back down onto your sweet spot letting his shaft rub over it again and again making you let out a breathy moan while rapidly nodding, you could feel it. You were so close you could almost cry from how badly your body needed this release, “Are you gonna be my good girl and come for me?” He asked letting his lips drag against your ear once more, all you needed was one more thrust- you could feel it. Your body burned so harshly and your mind already buzzing with pleasure.

“If you guys are gonna fuck can you atleast do it on the floor?” Namjoon interrupted, making you almost jumped out of your skin, your hazey pleasure instantly washing away as you squirmed beneath Jungkook, embarrassed beyond words at the realization of where you were, it was almost too much for you to bare as you looked away.

As if still in domineering mode Jungkook had groaned but kept the majority of your body- despite still being fully dressed- covered with his own body, feeling the harsh pulse of his cock in objection as he stopped, “I was three strokes away from blowing a load, thanks for the interruption.” He gritted, ignoring the droplets of precum dripping from his angry tip while sitting up before pulling you against him, hiding your face and body against him as he turned away slightly to hide you further, sensing your mortification as he set his chin on top of your head.

“That’s an oddly specific number,” Namjoon clacked his tongue before sighing, “Just take her to the bathroom, or the wall, I don’t care. I know your freaky little inner exhibitist gets off to this but I have to get to class in an hour and I really need to practice before tonight.” Jungkook groaned but didn’t object, the moment had already been ruined and he was positive there was no amount of convincing in the world that would let him take you in the bathroom let alone in the soloist room now.

He could practically feel your cheeks burning against his already hot skin and your arms were wrapped around him tightly in embarrassment, this was gonna take a lot of counseling on his part to get you to get over this, “Whatever, thanks for the cockblock.” He got up, holding your crumpled, embarrassed body that was still wrapped around him as he carefully stepped off stage.

Namjoon only laughed as he replied, “That’s always been my number one priority as your mentor asshole. You’d never get anything done and you know it.” you wouldn’t be surprised if Namjoon was one hundred percent serious but you could care less. You just openly let your mentor dry hump you in public all while you were begging him to continue. Too say you were embarrassed was putting it light.

“So,” Jungkook snickered, his hands purposely squeezed on your ass making you jump as you wiggled in his arms, “You did good with your thrusting babygirl- definitely impro- Ow!” He was already laughing as you smacked his shoulder harshly demanding for him to shut up multiple times before throwing your face back into his neck wanting nothing more than to embrace the icy void of death.

Setting you down he pushed the hair behind your ears as you tried to swat his hands away, “Fine I’ll stop- do you still want breakfast?”

“I think I fucking deserve breakfast after your ‘demonstration’!”You snapped, stomping your foot with a pouty glare that was supposed to intimidate him, but all he did was laugh, brushing you off with a ruffle of hair as you scolded further.

Wrapping an arm around your shoulders he laughed, giving them a squeeze as you both walked to where your bag laid on the ground, “Sometimes experience is the best teacher,” He leaned in biting against the lobe of your ear making you squirm, “I didn’t hear you complaining.”

“Shut up.” You grumbled, crossing your arms, your face beet red but he was right, you were anything but a complainer in that situation.

----

Breakfast with Jungkook, was actually rather nice, you weren’t sure why you were so surprised but just his presence was enjoyable, he was a very outgoing guy and knew all the right things to say to keep a conversation not only going, but enjoyable as well. It was no wonder he worked the crowd at Cherry Bomb so well.

But even so, you supposed, you both just had natural chemistry because you could tell he wasn’t in his work mode of making sure the conversation was kept in good nature or nothing became tense. His shoulders were relaxed and his smile seemed a lot more sincere than most days when you both were at work.

It was nice, spending time with him outside of work was nice, even if you both stayed on topic most of the time on how private dancing worked. It wasn’t until the end of the breakfast that he had mentioned you didn’t always have to wear the clothes they provided while working on the floor, you looked like your whole life had changed while he laughed, “They still have to scream ‘I’m a stripper’ though, sorry baby.”

You crumpled back into your seat slightly as you sighed, “I really need to make some time to go out shopping then, I barely have anything club worthy in my wardrobe, let alone stripper worthy.” You already had a good idea of what to search for due to all the fillers style and hell even Rosé was a good example of what to look for.

Jungkook had grabbed the receipt and his keys before stretching out, a mischievous smile on his face as he got out of the booth, “Say no more babygirl, you don’t have class until one right? Then let’s go.” Your lips parted and closed several times in silent objection as he left you behind for the cash register to pay, quickly fumbling out of the booth right after him as you huffed.

“Don’t you wanna go home and relax Jungkook? You don’t have to go out anywhere with me.” You felt slightly bad, not only did he insist on paying for your breakfast but now he was trying to go out with you? Well more like drag you out, personally it was probably you who’d rather go home and lay around with what little time you had left.

Jungkook had just finished paying before turning back to you, a smirk coiling on his face as he leaned down slightly, making you glare slightly as he hummed, “I have the rest of the day baby, don’t you wanna spend some time with your mentor?” You crossed your arms with a brooding pout as he pulled his arm around your waist forcing you closer to him as he walked out with you.

“We’re together everyday almost all day Jungkook.” You replied with a huff, but said nothing as he opened the passenger door, giving you a little push before you ultimately got in regardless. You weren’t sure what he meant by spending time with him, you saw him more in a day then you saw most your friends in a week.

Jungkook leaned in, grabbing the seat belt and pulling it across your body making you shift in your seat as you felt your cheeks flared, “That’s at work babydoll, don’t you wanna get to know me outside of Cherry Bomb?” he leaned up to meet your eyes as he clicked your seatbelt in, a smirk adorning his lips and his hot breath tickling your already red cheeks, “Beside’s you’ll need a second opinion on if what you’re wearing is suited for work.”

“You’re such a pervert!” You finally whined, realizing that was exactly why he wanted to tag along with you, in fact, you’d go as to say he was the one dragging you out so he could see you in less than proper attire.

Jungkook sent you a wink before shutting the door and making his way to the drivers side, the car was filled with music and banter between you both until you had arrived at the mall, where a plentiful of stores waited and apparently there was tons of places to pick from with stripper worthy attire. You were well aware of all the eyes that kept staring at you.

Girls all around you continuously sneaking glances of your mentor then you, who’s waist Jungkook wouldn't let go off the whole time, it wasn’t hard to see their judgement, you supposed you probably didn’t look good together with Jungkook, he was without a doubt the most handsome guy you had ever met and honestly? He could make any girl look ugly standing next to him. You decided to just ignore them as you browsed with him.

Turns out Jungkook was a lot better at having an eye for stripper attire then you, you had been dragged in and out of dressing rooms several times and he had almost demanded you make sure to showcase everything for him.

Pressing your hands into your face you sighed, jumping slightly at the feeling of his hands all over the sides of your body, “All you need is a pair of fishnets to go with this baby and it’d be perfect.” This wasn’t the first time it had happened today, as soon as the dressing room was empty his hands were all over you, his lips right next to your ear. The black dress was skin tight against your body and leaving less to the imagination, the hem of the dress pressing higher on your thigh then ever considered close to appropriate.

“Stop pressing your boner against me!” You whined out in a harsh whisper as you tried to move your ass away from him, your cheeks red at the feeling before he grabbed your hips pressing them back against his, his eyes haughty in the mirror as they kept contact with yours as he pressed his lips into your neck.

“You weren’t complaining this morning.” He snorted a laugh as you whined again in huffiness trying to break out of his grip before he let you go, waving you to go back into the dressing room as he smiled, “You’re too easy to tease babydoll that’s not my fault.”

You marched back into your room before glaring at him one last time as he cheekily smiled at you, “You don’t have to take advantage of my shyness!” shutting the door you pressed your hands into your face trying to calm the redness in your cheeks back down as you heard him laugh,

“Shut up you like my teasing and you know it.”

Maybe you did....just maybe, you really did.

But he didn’t need to know that.

After finishing up trying on outfits you refused to let him buy you anything and due to you being broke you didn’t buy anything yourself either but at least you’d know where to look next time you got paid. Checking the time you sighed, class would be starting soon and as much as you did admittedly have fun with Jungkook you couldn’t afford to skip class. Just as you were going to speak a voice, one all too familiar cut you off and made a pit in your stomach begin to form.

“Oh so this is why you’ve been ignoring me huh?”

You instantly stepped away from Jungkook as a tsunami of guilt flooded your whole body, you had spent your whole morning with him, letting his hands grabbed everywhere on your body like you were single when you weren’t. You were on break with Hanjae and you weren’t even acting like it.

Hanjae didn’t relent though and his eyes burned with both anger and jealousy as he marched towards you, looking ready to grab you and drag you away, he stopped short though when Jungkook suddenly stood in front of you, his stance protective and you couldn’t see his expression but something told you that was for the best as he hissed out, “No she’s been ignoring you because you’re a controlling psychopath.” You hadn’t realized how tall Jungkook really was until he had straightened out his posture, standing to his full height as he stood, a fair few inches taller than Hanjae and a glare sporting his eyes no doubt.

You practically withered at the sight of Hanjae’s cold glare, his face becoming nothing but pure logic and anger that you only rarely saw as he stepped closer, “I don’t know who the fuck you are, but stay away from my girl. Y/n, we’re going.”

Hanjae was in the middle of side stepping Jungkook when he was roughly grabbed by the shirt, Jungkook’s knuckles turning white as your face paled at the bloodthirsty expression he sported, you had never seen such a volatile expression on Jungkook’s face as he sneered, “Your girl?” He let out a harsh, forced laugh with no humor in his eyes as you suddenly flailed about, quickly grabbing onto his arm which was tense and muscle bulging and ready to be used, “Jungkook just let him go! It isn’t worth it.”

Jungkook’s jaw was clenched and he could chip a tooth on how hard he was gripping his teeth together his grip on Hanjae’s shirt not letting up as he snapped, “Hope you know you don’t fucking deserve to call her that.” He’s hands were strained and rigid as they uncoiled his shirt, expression twisted and anger sneering on his face as Hanjae only glared him down before reaching down to grab your arm. Jungkook was quicker though, catching his hand in a crushing grip, “Get out of here before I break every finger on your hand just for trying to touch her.”

“Y/n,” Hanjae gritted out, his expression hardening as they glared down harshly at her, “If you know what’s good for everyone, you’ll come with me.” You swallowed thickly, taking a step between both of them as your lips quivered slightly, glancing between them both who were locked in a rigid glare off.

Watching Jungkook’s free hand curl into a fist made you quickly realize you didn’t have a lot of time before he’d send it flying and even if you hadn’t seen Jungkook in a fight, you didn’t need to see to know he was experienced, “Hanjae- just go. We’ll meet up and talk about this later okay? I’m not going to just drop what I’m doing for you.”

Hanjae’s jaw clenched and he parted his lips before he glared harsh at Jungkook, ripping his hand away from him before sneering, “Remember- that’s my girl.” Before turning around and trudging away as you stiffly inhaled, running a hand through your hair as you watched both of Jungkook’s knuckles curl up, his chest puffing as he tried to control the anger flickering in his eyes.

It was quiet for a moment before Jungkook whipped around to face you, “Like hell you’re gonna ‘talk about it later’ with him! What a- a total dick! Why are you even together with him?” He snapped out, not necessarily at you but at the idea as he ran a hand through his hair, his words fumbled making you raise your eyebrows, not expecting him to be so worked up.

Running a hand through your hair once more you swallowed thickly as you glanced away from him, “Jungkook I have been avoiding him, I’ve had some time to think and continuing like this isn’t going to solve anything. I need to talk to him- thank you for that but pease- don’t get involved okay? You’re only going to make things worse.” You frowned as you let your eyes flicker to him briefly before back at your feet. You could feel his gaze burning into you as silence filled between you both again, people passing by you without a second glance as you clasped your hands together.

“Just break up with him,” Your eyes shot up to his tense figure, his jaw clenched and his eyes glaring down at the floor as he clenched and unclenched his fists, “I don’t understand why you need to talk to him, he’s so controlling and such an asshole! He doesn’t deserve you.”

“That’s not for you to decide Jungkook,” You shook your head, your voice softened but on guard as his lips twitched as if annoyed at your words, but saying no more, “...I need to get to class- I'll see you later, okay?” You didn’t want to leave him here in such an angry and rough state of mind but you needed time alone, you understood his concern but ultimately that was your choice.

You doubt you’d stay with Hanjae but you didn’t need or want Jungkook coming between you both. Furthermore you didn’t want your breakup with Hanjae because of Jungkook, you wanted to walk away knowing it was one hundred percent because it would never work out, not because a third party had gotten involved. You brushed past him, secretly hoping he’d stop you, maybe to try and smooth things over with you, or at least leave one a good note.

He didn’t.

----

“So what’s your story honey? What’s a pretty girl like you working here?”

You internally sighed at the question, trying to make sure it didn’t show on your face as you shifted in your seat. You weren’t sure what it was, with clients asking that question. Did they assume they were being chivalrous? Were they were just curious and didn’t mean to come off slimey or condescending? Or was it to sweep you off your feet at the idea of someone seeing you as more than a stripper? If it was- it wasn’t working.

The amount of times you had heard that, in various forms over the night was both ridiculous and boring, how many times could you rebrand your answer? You had gotten good at finding different reasons and various wording which all meant the same in the end to answer with.

You had still been a bit sheepish talking to clients on your own, but you had been getting more comfortable with it, “Oh, it's not like I was forced into dancing here,” You gave a soft laugh as you traced the rim of your margarita glass, the salt crumbling against the pad of your finger tip as you smiled softly, “I actually quite enjoy it, I’m in college at the moment and finances were strained. It wasn’t ideal but I’ve grown to enjoy working here, it has its own charm.”

“It really does.” He licked his lips as he winked, forcing you to swallow your cringe as you attempted to give him a peppy smile as he continued, “And it’s only your second week at Cherry right?”

You glanced towards the stage where Hoseok was grinding against the floor, he really did have remarkable energy, his wide predatory smirk as girls practically screamed themselves hoarse while throwing their money, “Yes! I’m still fairly new but I’m beginning to get the hang of things...Once my mentor thinks I’m ready I’ll be able to start private dancing, hopefully you’ll be on the list?” You asked innocently before sending a wink his way.

He gave a laugh as he leaned back in his seat, “Mentor? You’re kidding right baby? There’s no way strippers need mentors,” Oh if only he had the slightest idea how wrong he was, if it weren’t for Jungkook you wouldn’t have even signed the contract. You could understand his reasoning, you would’ve thought the same thing for the longest time, but as it turned out, just like any other form of dancing, stripping was taxing and hard in it’s own way, “But of course I’ll be on the list, maybe you’ll let me be the first to see?” He asked as if hoping you’d say yes.

You really hoped he didn’t take you up on that offer but if you could get more people on your waitlist that just meant more money for you in the end, “We’ll just have to see,” You finally offered a small teasing smile as you raised your glass towards him in toast before taking a sip, noticing Hoseok’s performance ending as you stood up, “Thanks for chatting with me babe, see you later.” You sent one last wink to him before moving to the next table.

It was a fairly crowded table and a mixed party, both of the men seemed uninterested in the stage, unshockingly as they had scheduled guys for most of the night, both of the girls however were red cheeked with money in their hands while giggling to one another, “Care if I join?” It wasn’t required, but you always wanted to ask because you found, sometimes people weren’t always in the mood to be social or weren’t comfortable in such close presence with a stripper. It didn’t make sense, given they were in a strip club, but you wanted the clients you were working with to feel comfortable and safe.

Both of the men had instantly perked up, rapidly nodding as they smiled, the girls ignored you as if you didn’t even exist, sitting down in the chair you opened the conversation, finding that more days then less it was easier than waiting for them, “I couldn’t help but notice you seem a bit bored. Men not to your taste?”

“At all,” The one towards the middle snorted out as he leaned back in his chair, he seemed more like the outspoken one of the two before continuing, “I would’ve just skipped altogether had I known it was mainly male strippers tonight. I’d prefer to be watching someone as beautiful as you up there.” He winked making you force another smile as you shrugged.

“It’s her birthday,” The one right next to you murmured softly, eyeing the girl with a plastic crown on her head, almost identical to the one Seulgi wore the first time you had ever visited Cherry Bomb, back when it was her birthday, “It’s what she wanted to do so here we are.” You noticed his gaze stayed soft and warm while on her making you almost melt on the inside, he liked her and it was completely oblivious.

He only sighed though as the girls both started to whistle out at who was one stage- Jungkook of course had taken his rightful throne on the stage as the music started up, “That’s sweet of you both, I know it’s probably not the most comfortable sight to watch when you don’t swing that way but it’s kind of you to stick around anyways. I’ve never been one for strip clubs either.”

Both of the men started laughing at your words, making you smile as well as the one towards the middle spoke up, “Really? So can I ask how you ended up working in one?”

The roars of the crowd heightened when you glanced back at the stage, Jungkook had just pulled the shirt over his head, revealing his chiseled muscles, his build of narrow hips and broad shoulders making almost every girl in the room water out the mouth as you glanced back towards your clients, trying to focus on his question, “My mentor…” You jerked your thumb towards Jungkook on stage, “He’s a pretty persistent guy. The strip scene isn’t my cup of tea but he convinced me to give it a try. It’s been history since. Just a suggestion but…” You pressed your lips together before giving a cheeky grin, “If you wanna have fun you guys can always come to one of my shows, I’m still in group dances but I promise it’d be worth it.”

You definitely had the man towards the middle of the group’s attention, it was the one who sat beside you who didn’t seem sold as his eyes flickered towards the birthday girls, as if hoping she’d glance this way, but she didn’t. Her eyes were on Jungkook’s body as if hypnotised with red cheeks and her hand clenching her money, not just ones- no those were twenties and a lot of them, “I don’t know,” He finally spoke up coolly before shrugging, “Strip clubs aren’t really my scene either.”

The cheering piped up against making you turn back towards the stage where Jungkook had just unzipped his pants, his back on the ground and his hips rolling into the air where every girl wanted to be on top of him, pushing his pants down to reveal the thick taut muscles of his thighs, “Well,” You clacked your lips with a smile, “I won’t blame you there, afterall I’m not a club person either, remember?” He glanced at you curiously as you gave him a wink.

Just then the spikes of the screaming piped up making you wince slightly, any louder and you’d feel forced to cover your ears, that’s when you realized Jungkook had stepped off the stage from where he had been struggling on choreography earlier, was he going to lap dance instead tonight? You made a mental note that it wasn’t a bad idea if you ever struggled with that later down the road, you noticed his eyes seemed to be distant though, as if the cogs in his head were turning and tuned out the roar of his crowd.

His eyes landed on your table though and it was as if he turned off autopilot mode, swaying right over with a wide smirk as you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, he could never leave you alone, even at work, could he? Stopping in front of the table he paused at the girl in the tiara as he purred out, “Birthday girl huh? Guess I better give you a present then.” She almost squealed as he sat down on her lap.

You felt a wave of discomfort form in your stomach as you looked away, trying your best to conceal your apprehension as you decided to focus on the two clients you came here to talk with, “I’m not really one for lapdancing but it’s pretty hard to compete with for attention huh?” You cracked a smile though you were aware it came out tense as you heard the girl try to keep in a whimper as he rolled his hips into hers.

“Well don’t worry, you have our complete undivided attention- right Alex?” The one towards the middle relaxed into his seat, ignoring Jungkook grinding into his friend like it’d be his last time while glancing towards his friend casually.

His friend, the one sitting next to you though- had an expression mirroring yours, making you realize that you must’ve been doing just as bad of a job as him at covering your discomfort. Dejection in his eyes at the girl he was obviously crushing on being lapdanced not only by a stripper but by the biggest stripper in the whole club, “Yeah…” The man- Alex leaned back into his seat, stirring his glass as he tried to swallow down his downcast expression at the whimper you all heard from the girl.

“Well,” You clasped your hands together, straightening up in opposition, trying to ignore the overly lewd display in front of your eyes as Jungkook letting his hips circle and roll into hers as if he hadn’t done the same thing to you earlier that morning… “All I’m suggesting is, maybe you can change my mind about it if you came to my show, I’m always open to lapdancing someone as cute as you both.”

The girl suddenly gasped loudly at a particularly hard thrust from Jungkook as you glanced towards his back, his shoulders incredibly tense as his song was coming to an end, he only leaned into her ear, whispering something with a hot smirk before leaning away to quickly let his gaze find yours, was that a glare? Her cheeks were bright red and she giggled before nodding her head rapidly, he sent her a wink before standing up, without a single glance towards you and making his way back to the stage to collect his tips before going to the staff room.

What was that about? Alex leaned back in his seat as he sighed, rubbing his forehead looking vaguely tired as the two girls giggled, the omen in the tiara suddenly stood up, “We’ll definitely come.” The one in the middle volunteered noticing the other’s downcast expression, “When’s your next performance?”

You smiled, happy to hear you had successfully gotten two people to come to your next show, you really weren’t interested in lapdancing, but your money was becoming shorter by the day and you really needed every last dollar you could get here, “Tomorrow night, I’ll see you there.”

You all stood up before parting ways, you sighed finally letting your persona melt away as you made your way to the staff area, glad Jungkook’s performance was the last of the night before closing up, you were tired and beyond exhausted. You had ended up forgetting you had a thesis due for your art history class the next day and you knew you weren’t going to have time to finish it.

Meaning you’d be up the whole night- or what was left of it before heading back to Cherry Bomb for practice, groaning you rubbed your eyes as you paused in the hallway, maybe you should talk to Jungkook? You still felt bad for leaving him behind in the mall and you knew it wasn’t fair on him to leave him hanging like that. But you needed time to just go through your options, you knew he meant well but you still didn’t enjoy being told what to do when it wasn’t anyone’s choice but yours to make.

Still, you should just swallow your pride and apologize to him anyways, it was clear he only said what he did because he cared. He at least deserved a full answer on why you said what you did. It wasn’t about you not wanting to leave Hanjae anymore, it was about you wanting to make sure you were leaving him for the right reasons, and making sure no one else was influencing your decisions.

Nodding you prepped yourself before making your way down the hallway towards the familiar path of his dressing room, you stopped short at his door that held his name, your hand paused before rapping against the door at the loud- muffled moan you heard from inside.

“Mmm! Jungkook! O-oh fuck right there! Right there!”

Your hand stayed in place in the air but you hadn’t even noticed the way it shook like a dead leaf in the middle of autumn as you heard the girl- the one he had been lapdancing not too long ago moan his name again.

You didn’t think it would hurt.

It did.

Note: Hope post chapter 5 depression hits y’all as hard as it hit me, I was lowkey internally ugly sobbing when I finished this.

Taglist: @loveherpersona @megladon1616 @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @jungkookies-golden-noona @ironically-indifferent96 @epiphany-playingwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13 @134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness @hanhannguyen98 @lurkerarmy @lovelyjkook @repeating-seesaw-game @serendipity-secrets @kimvantaee @forevermoremagcon @timestandstillalittle @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl @blxckeffect @egyptianwitchbutwithab @kimcheeeeeeeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay

(Let me know if you’d like to be added!)

#bts #bangtan #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook smut #bts au #tease

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hydra-collector · 4 years ago

Text

worthless

AO3

Pairings: Loceit

Characters: Logan Sanders, Janus Sanders, Roman Sanders (mentioned)

TW: cursing, self-deprecation

Words: 2088

Summary: Logan is overworking himself to very unhealthy amounts. Janus steps in to help.

Note: Sorry for the awful name. I had to come up with something.

You don't deserve emotions.

Logan was like most other college students. Overworked, tired, and bored. He always made sure he had work to do. He figured if he failed something big at some point, he'd have extra credit to fall back on.

And he was tired.

He was crying at the moment. He'd just finished yet another assignment and had three more he had to finish today. He'd asked for them. This was his fault, there was no one to blame but himself he knew he had no reason to cry; he'd asked for this. He didn't deserve to cry. He'd discovered he was unable to avoid the fact that he had emotions, but he didn't deserve them.

Or maybe he did. Maybe it was selfish to wish to never feel because he'd never have to cry. To spend every day exhausted and miserable. Yet, maybe it was fair because he knew he didn't deserve happiness. Maybe it was just the sadness he deserved.

His boyfriend and friends had tried to convince him to stop torturing himself. It wasn't torture, it was insurance. In case he fucked up like he always does at some point. It was worth a good grade.

He wanted this.

He was going to come out of this smart. He’d come out of every step of his education smarter. He needed to. If he wasn’t intelligent, gifted, praised, who was he?

Nothing.

Should it have been music? Was it intelligent enough?

He asked himself every day if he made the right choice. Music was an art, more in Roman’s vein of interests. Yet, he’d fallen in love with classical music. Was there something wrong with him? Should he be pursuing a science? Trying to discover more about Earth’s wonders?

He picked up his cello.

It was selfish, but he needed to distract himself. He was too lazy to finish his work, despite only having four hours to do so. After he did finish them, he’d probably be up until at least 3AM working on everything due tomorrow. He wanted a break.

It doesn’t matter what you want. It matters what needs to get done. You have to finish, or you’re worthless.

He sighed and put his cello back. That little voice was right, although he was pretty sure he was already worthless. He said he’d finish them at least an hour before the deadline, but look what happened. He’d need at least an hour for the first assignment, two or possibly longer for the second, and an hour or so for the third.

And it had to be perfect.

It was doable. He could get everything right and perfect, he could make all of his work his best work in four hours if he was good enough. It was never perfect, but it could be. It should be. He just wasn’t trying hard enough.

Coffee. He needed coffee.

He would’ve stretched if he thought about his well-being anymore. He left his dorm for a moment to make some coffee in the communal machine and have a bowl of yogurt, which was probably his third bowl today and the only thing he ate at this point.

“Logan, love. You look tired.”

“I’m fine, Janus. I can’t talk long, I have to get on this assignment.”

“How many assignments have you done today?”

He wrapped his arms around Logan’s torso from behind, kissing his cheek in the process. Logan wriggled out of his grip, spooning the rest of the yogurt in his mouth.

“You don’t eat it with Crofters’ anymore. I’m concerned.”

“Too expensive.”

“I’m buying you some tomorrow.”

Logan poured his coffee into a mug Janus had gotten for him, adorned with a bowtie and fez (although his boyfriend wasn��t sure he even remembered what Doctor it was referencing anymore). He waved his hand in a goodbye as he headed back in the direction of his room, (without kissing his boyfriend, Janus noticed) coffee in hand.

“I’d rather work alone, Janus.”

He followed Logan anyway.

When Logan got back to his room, he went straight to his desk. He’d wasted enough time already. His head hurt, but he didn’t have any pain medicine. He was tired, just trying to keep his eyes open at this point. He was hungry, yogurt was not an adequate dinner. And he was exhausted. Not just from the lack of sleep and the normal kind of tired, but the kind of tired that comes from devoting all of your worth to something. Telling yourself it defines your usefulness, your worth, your meaning to other people. He’d keep working through it. He was never going to admit that to himself.

He didn’t deserve to acknowledge how he felt. He didn’t deserve to smile at things, for people to care about his pain. He didn’t deserve to get angry. It was always his fault. If he could keep working, maybe it could at least be his doing that he got a good grade.

Stop debating your emotions and do your work. You worthless bitch.

Worthless.

Something on his lap blocked his vision of the screen where he’d apparently been writing that word for a few moments. He wanted to see it again because it was true. A pair of lips- Janus’s- kissed him as his glasses were removed as well. He pushed his boyfriend’s face away, despite how much he wanted to kiss him.

“Janus, let me work.”

He instead dragged Logan’s rolly chair over to his bed and heaved him out of it. He squirmed, attempting to get free, but he’d already set him down and laid horizontally over his torso.

“Mandatory cuddle time. I don’t make the rules.”

“You’ve never followed a rule in your life, Janus.”

“But you have.”

Logan again tried to get up to leave, but his boyfriend only dispersed more of his weight over Logan’s chest, grabbing his neck and kissing him again. Logan gave up and hugged him back.

“Can I get back to work now?”

“Not as long as you think you’re worthless.”

He saw that?

“I won’t be if I can just finish my work.”

“You’re setting your expectations too high for yourself. You don’t have to be productive to be worth something. In my opinion, you’re already worth more than the entire Earth.”

“That’s not- I’m not worth more than 8 billion people and almost 200 million miles.”

“You are to me. Cuddle time.”

“Okay, okay, maybe I’m not worthless-”

You are.

“-but I told my professors I was going to get these assignments done. I can’t go back on that.”

“They’ll understand. They like me. I’ll tell them my boyfriend needs a break from all the work he’s been getting. Anyway, aren’t your grades already over 100% in at least two classes? They know you work too hard. And if they don’t believe me, I can get them… replaced.”

“No murder, Janus.”

“Does that mean you’ll keep cuddling with me?”

“At least let me do one-”

Janus kissed him, grabbing his face in the process.

“Sounds like a yes. Now shall we confront your problems with self-worth?”

“I don’t have problems with self-worth, I just recognize that I need to get my work done-”

“You think you’re defined by the work that you do. I know a liar when I see one, dear.”

“Do you want me to get all emotional and spill out my repressed feelings? Because I really don’t need any help with them, they don’t mean anything anyway. Kinda disa-”

He paused when he realized he was doing exactly that.

“That’s exactly what I want you to do. Why are you disappointed?”

He closed his eyes as Janus let go of him and brushed his hair out of his face. “No reason.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“I won’t kiss you unless you tell me.”

“Convenient, I won’t be plagued with more emotions than I already have.”

“I will kiss you until you tell me.”

Janus started attacking his face with kisses from the forehead down. He kissed his cheeks that had started blushing and his nose that he tried to turn away. He’d successfully rendered him helpless.

Almost.

Logan kissed him back in retaliation, grabbing his face instead so he couldn’t recklessly smooch anymore. He held his lips long, hoping it was enough to subdue Janus’s kisses for a while.

“I’d still like to hear about your emotions, L.”

“They don’t matter though.”

“We’re getting somewhere.”

“I only have two and a half hours left.”

“Please, Logan. I’m worried about you. Ignore your work. Focus on you. I can get you some ice cream to cope.”

“One, ice cream is very unhealthy, and two, I don’t have any reason to need to cope.”

Janus crawled off of Logan to grab his laptop, then came back to sit next to his boyfriend. He didn’t need to say anything, the screen said it all.

worthless worhtles worhtles worthsles wothslss worthles worthlsess worhtless worhtlsss worhless worthless worhtlwss worhtlwss worhless worthless wothl

“You only stopped typing cause I sat on your lap.”

“I, I… wasn’t talking about myself.”

Janus deleted the paragraph and saved his document, closing the computer and setting it aside. He brushed Logan’s face gently.

“You’re crying Logan. I think you were.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, I- God I should stop crying.”

“Why?”

“I don’t deserve for people to care about me, I don’t deserve to show emotion. I don’t deserve anything but-”

He stopped himself from continuing.

“You do deserve that. And it’s okay to talk about how you feel. You can go ahead, I’ll listen.”

“I don’t deserve it, I don’t need it, I don’t w-”

He broke down.

The few tears turned into sobs. His back ached from sitting for so long, he was hungry and tired, so tired. Janus slid down from his sitting position to lay next to Logan and hold him. God, did he want to be held.

“I do want it. I want to tell you what I feel like but it’s so hard and- even I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to understand. I just want to help you, love.”

Logan took a deep breath. He gazed at Janus for a moment, then turned his head towards the ceiling instead.

“I think… I hate myself.”

“I hate myself,” he repeated.

“I hate myself, Janus.”

Janus pulled him close to his chest where Logan could bury his head in his boyfriend’s neck.

“I think that must be why I’m not satisfied with what I do. I’m not satisfied with myself, so I try to make my work perfect because I think that’ll make me perfect.”

“You don’t have to be perfect. No one is.”

“I’ve always been perfect. I can’t fuck up. I have to be able to work like a machine. I wish I was a machine, a robot, anything but human. Emotions- they get in the way. I need to be able to work. It’s all I’m good for-”

Janus took Logan’s hand with one of his own and turned his head with the other so he was looking at him.

“No. You’re you and that’s okay. You do what you can, what you want. And if what you want is to work and work and work, do that. But I don't think you want this.”

“But- it’s all I know.”

“...When, when you’re working this hard, all of the time, you start hurting yourself with it. And you’ve gotten to the point where you’re destroying yourself. You’re saying that living like this is what makes you you, but what I see is you… fading away. I miss you. You’ve become your work, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You haven’t had free time once this week. You’re hurting yourself. So much that you’re losing yourself.”

“I’m- am I hurting you? Am I fading away and hurting you?”

“Logan, I’m not who’s important here. You need to take care of yourself. You need to unlearn that you don’t matter outside of your work. You fading away is hurting you so badly, and yes, I hate seeing you so miserable, but you’re the one that’s hurting. I love you. I want you to be okay and happy. To do that, I want to help you break this awful mindset. You can be okay. You’re going to be.”

“How?”

“I’ll be there to help you learn. But first, we need to e-mail your professors to get rid of all this extra work.”

“I told them-”

“No. No extra credit.”

#sanders sides #sanders side fic #logan sanders #janus sanders #loceit #ts logan #ts janus #man i havent written any loceit #i should really start doing that #wasnt sure i was gonna make it a romantic fic and then it just happened #tw self deprecation #tw cursing #grays fics #lmao this one actually has a decent length

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