#I was so happy to get this ask because it have me the perfect segue to show these two being silly together

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

you cannot tease wei wuxian and hua cheng hunting for funsies and not show that to us??? it has to go one of two ways right? either an absolute visious blood bath where everyone cowers in fear or the equivalent of a teenage girl's slumber party. both??? both.

Hunting each other for sport is the keystone to a fun slumber party

[fantastic-nonsense]

I wouldn't mind the heavy focus on warrior Amazons so much if they were allowed to be competent instead of just being used as red shirt cannon fodder. But it seems DC only hypes up the Amazons as deadly fighters so other characters can look more impressive when they take them down.

Oh and Happy New Year.

Happy New Year! Forgive me if I use your ask to talk about a piece of the Wonder Woman mythos I've wanted to discuss for some time, because your complaints offered me the perfect segue to write a nice, in-depth meta on it and I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Honestly, I think a lot of people (both creatives and readers) either don't know, forget, or fundamentally misunderstand the nature of the Amazons' warrior status. So they often get reduced to "deadly warriors who strike first," "supposedly deadly but generally incompetent warriors when outside of their own books," or "militant man-haters" by a lot of people. None of which are true.

The Amazons are incredibly competent warriors and have been since Marston's first portrayal of them in the 1940s, so I don't inherently mind them being shown as such. However, where people get bogged down is insisting that they be shown as deadly and trigger-happy offensive fighters who are happy to strike first and hard, which fundamentally goes against the philosophy and thematic messaging built into Amazonian lore.

DC's Amazonia, lore-wise, is traditionally framed as an Aphrodite vs. Ares "peace and love vs. violence and war" story. In Marston's original rendition of the Amazon's backstory Aphrodite is not only their patron goddess but also their sole creator; it was only after Crisis on Infinite Earths and George Perez's long-overdue lore expansions that the rest of the goddesses became co-creators and co-patrons of the Amazons. Regardless, Ares and his domain are consistently invoked as what the Amazons don't want to be like or engage in. That behavior is the antithesis of what Amazons are supposed to be. This lore informs literally everything about how the Amazons view both their combat abilities and their duty to the goddesses.

The contemporary Amazons are, for the most part, women who died in terrible and traumatic ways at the hands of men (usually through domestic violence, murder, or as conquests of war). When the goddesses created the Amazons by reincarnating these women via the Well of Souls, they specifically charged them to become their champions. And what did these goddesses want? They explicitly wanted justice and protection for women in a violently patriarchial world. The Amazons being warriors is thus specifically tied to an understanding of necessary self-defense and protection (both of themselves and other women), not offense.

Which of course is what lands the Amazons on Themyscira in the first place: invoking the goddesses' ire by not obeying these commands after their rebellion against their enslavement by Heracles and his men crosses the line from the necessary battle to achieve their liberation into wanton violence and revenge:

"The battered Hippolyta prayed to her goddesses and found the courage and inspiration to free herself. Athena had reminded Hippolyta of the Amazons' purpose and mission—but not all of the Amazons remembered. Or cared. They yearned for vengeance. For retribution against those who violated them...and under Antiope, many found it." -Wonder Woman: Our Worlds at War (2001)

And as Hippolyta and Menalippe tell Antiope:

"No, Antiope. Never vengeance; never again!" /// "That is Ares' way, Antiope. We achieve no glory by embracing the Dark God's power!" -Wonder Woman (1987) #1

The Amazon way is promoting a society based on love, equality, truth, and peaceful conflict resolution, not vengeance and violent combat. It's a philosophy that defines Diana's mission in Man's World as an ambassador, teacher, and living example of her peoples' way of life:

Enraptured, they listen to her dissertation on equality between the sexes, tolerance, peaceful coexistence. Social Philosophy 101, Amazon Style. -Wonder Woman (1987) #170

Diana's gods-given mission was to spread the Amazonian ideals of conciliation—to give those living in the World of Man the proper tools to peacefully coexist with each other. It was her life's purpose to teach the possibilities of respect and love by being a living example of an upbringing founded in those ideals.

Truth-seeking, diplomacy, and peace are the Amazonian way of dealing with conflict, not violence. And when you are forced to engage in combat (and you should be prepared for that eventuality because sometimes it will happen), your goal should be self-defense and de-escalation, not offense and prolonging the conflict longer than necessary.

This is also, as an aside, why Diana (and specifically Diana in her capacity as Wonder Woman) does not usually carry offensive weapons like a sword and why her primary "weapons" are the Lasso of Truth and protective bracelets. She's the official representative of her peoples' culture and personally deeply believes in that cultural philosophy. Other Amazons have different views on the matter, including her mother, but Diana grew up completely separated from the World of Man and fully immersed in that belief system, which deeply informs how she views her mission as Wonder Woman.

Personally, I think many (but not all) of the problems re: depicting the Amazons in the modern era come from various writers attempting to solve contradictions that don't exist. They see "kickass trained warriors living peacefully on an island" and see that as a contradiction they have to solve: why do they train if they're pacifists? Why do they fight if they're peaceful? In reality, it's not a contradiction: their status as warriors and champions is specifically tied to self-defense and protection (both of themselves and others), but given the choice they don't want to have to take up arms to protect people because that goes against their fundamental cultural philosophy. Outsiders and meddlesome gods are the ones who force them to do that! What they want is for everyone to be treated with love, respect, and understanding so they don't have to!

And there's a lot of problematic elements built into the concept's execution, but this is the core thesis behind the split between Hippolyta's Themyscirans and Antiope's Bana-Mighdall. The Themysciran Amazons have had their fill of violence and war; they just want to live in peace. But a) they were specifically tasked with guarding Doom's Doorway when they were taken to the island, a duty which necessitates perfect combat readiness, and b) their history is littered with examples of people refusing to leave them alone. So they train, in case someone decides to take shots at them, but otherwise live in peaceful isolation. Meanwhile, the Banas looked at that same shared history and went "we need to take the fight to the outside world. Offense is the best defense, and the only way to protect ourselves and the other women of the world is to actively seek vengeance for the violence women face." So they chose to actively intervene in Man's World, fighting constant battles and exacting revenge for any women mistreated at the hands of men.

...which is also why Artemis was such a necessary and interesting addition to the Wonder Woman mythos (even if she's often handled...poorly), because she and Diana represent two diametrically opposed views of how to protect and represent both their cultures and the women of Man's World, but that's a rant for a different time.

Anyway, the Themysciran Amazons' martial pacifism as a cultural value isn't a contradiction; it's one way of looking at a history filled with violence and victimization and saying "no more." And it's a pretty subversive way of doing so, which (well-written) comics tend to note!

So yes, the "Amazons are warriors" mentality has always been there and has been solidly emphasized at various points throughout Wonder Woman's history, and it should be acknowledged and shown that they're all incredibly competent in battle when they're forced to engage in it. But the way in which it gets emphasized is what defines whether a writer has a solid understanding of the history and baggage that comes with depicting the Amazonian struggle and the socio-political issues embedded in their lore. And unfortunately...many writers just don't seem to get it.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

A Final Straw

A JSE Fanfic

SepticHeroes AU: Part 38

First Part | Previous Part | Read on AO3 at CrystalNinjaPhoenix

I got into the flow of this story so quickly guys. I wrote like 3500 words in a day lol And then another 3500 more. Which like, I'm very happy about because a lot of personal stuff has happened but I managed to get this done anyway. Anyway, this chapter is about Marvin and Schneep. The two of them decide to once again try infiltrating SepTech in the hope of finding proof that McLoughlin is connected to Anti-Virus. And oh boy do they find something. Hope you enjoy! ^-^

===============

Schneep sat on a bench in Neun Park, idly looking around. It was a cloudy day, so not many people were out and about. Perfect. It meant he and Marvin wouldn’t need to talk too quietly during their meeting.

After the two of them had both visited JJ at the safe house yesterday, Marvin had pulled Schneep aside, both of them standing on the front stoop of the house. “We need to talk more about the SepTech stuff,” he muttered. “Can you meet me at the park tomorrow?”

And so, here Schneep was. Technically he was on his lunch break, but Marvin seemed very serious when he pulled him aside, so he figured it was worth the travel time from Greengate General. He’d been waiting here for a bit, though. They’d agreed to meet at one thirty, and it was now one forty-three. Marvin was late. And if he was too late, Schneep would have to leave and they’d have to meet up some other time—oh no wait, there he is. Walking down the sidewalk towards the park. Schneep narrowed his eyes and whistled for his attention.

Marvin jumped slightly, on edge. He only relaxed a little once he realized Schneep was the source of the sharp noise. Visibly annoyed, he hurried over. “No need to draw so much attention,” Marvin grumbled.

“There is literally nobody else in sight,” Schneep said, straight-faced. “And you are thirteen minutes late.”

“You counted?”

“Of course I did. I told you I only had an hour. Not even that much, if we take train times into account. What took so long?”

Marvin scowled. “My boss told me to help out another coworker with her duties cause she was a bit swamped. But the moment I appeared to help, she fucking disappeared, and I had to edit everything myself. Fucking asshole. I know for a fact she had nothing else to do, it’s not like the station is that big.” He shook his head. “Anyway. Sorry.”

“You should have just left once your lunch break came around,” Schneep said. “It was not your responsibility to do her job.”

“Well I really don’t want to risk rocking the boat at all. I need this job, and not just for the money. It’s the only way I can stay ahead of the rest of the news, a lot of the time. Which is a great segue to what I wanted to talk to you about.” Marvin sat down on the bench next to Schneep. “So you know how you found those weaponized SAMs in Dr. McLoughlin’s lab, right? And you know how the League was keeping an eye on McLoughlin because of that, right?”

“Yes... what happened?” Schneep asked. “Did they find something out?”

“No, but word of it is finally coming out to the public,” McLoughlin said. “Channel Five is going to run a story on it tomorrow. The League isn’t going to be happy about it, since it puts SepTech in a bad light. SepTech provides a lot of their gadgets, after all. But I guess they can’t do much to stop them.”

Schneep blinked. “Interesting. So this has spurred you to action, has it?”

Marvin smiled slightly. “You know me so well. If McLoughlin really is working with Anti-Virus—or even is Anti-Virus—he’ll want to hide everything more securely now, knowing that people will be watching him closer. The court of public opinion, you know. It’ll be much more difficult for us to find proof of his activities. We need to act fast.”

“Tonight?” Schneep asked.

“The sooner, the better,” Marvin said. “If you can’t, I’ll do it myself.”

“Ah ah ah.” Schneep raised a hand. “You have not yet told me what the plan is. I cannot decide to join if I don’t know what your plan is.”

“Oh... well, I only have a vague idea so far,” Marvin said. “We go into one of the SepTech locations and try to find files.”

“Physical files? If McLoughlin is working with a technopath like Anti-Virus, the files are likely to be all online,” Schneep pointed out.

Marvin was silent for a minute. “Right. Well, we’ll need to find some way to hack into the servers, then. I can find something to help, though. I’ll talk to the Dismantler’s family, they sell that sort of stuff. If I do that after work, I could probably get something by tonight.”

Schneep chuckled. “Very well. Sounds like a good enough ‘vague idea’, but we need to elaborate. Which location? Are we just checking out the North one, with the laboratory?”

“If there’s any physical proof about what McLoughlin is doing, it’s probably going to be there,” Marvin said. “Unless he decided to move it all since Jackie found the SAMs... eh, but if we’re going to look for online files, it doesn’t really matter what location we’re looking in, is it? SepTech all uses one system.”

“Well if they are good about their cyber security, files specific to a location should be stored in the location in question,” Schneep said.

“Hm.” Marvin frowned. “Maybe they have that, but I know SepTech also has a system that connects all the buildings in Daindover. Some sort of network. Channel Five did a thinkpiece on it online once. And Jackie once mentioned that McLoughlin had a systemwide digital assistant, that can’t work without a system in the first place.”

“Hm, true.” Schneep nodded slowly. “And if McLoughlin is involved with a technopath with a software focus, then he would want a connected network so he can have access to everything. I see, I see...” He checked the watch he was wearing for the time. “What time are you thinking about doing this?”

“It depends on how fast I can get something from my sources, if I can get anything at all,” Marvin said. “What if I just text you? I can say ‘hey you forgot something earlier today, want me to drop it off?’ and you can say ‘no that’s fine, we’ll meet tomorrow.’ But we’ll actually both leave to meet up outside the North SepTech location.”

They quickly hashed out the details of where they’ll meet, and what they’ll do once they decide to infiltrate the SepTech building. With their time limit, they couldn’t figure out everything, but they came up with the basic idea of Schneep using his powers to get in, then let Marvin in from inside and be a lookout for him as he did the majority of the searching for information. 

And soon after that, they both had to hurry to get back to their respective workplaces before their lunch breaks ended.

===============

Later that night, Schneep donned his Specter costume and hurried across the city. It was easy to travel while invisible, since he could sneak aboard any train without a ticket.

Marvin was waiting in full Spitfire Cat gear in an alleyway across the street from the North SepTech building. As Schneep walked up to him, he could see Marvin fidgeting with a small item in his hand. But Marvin couldn’t see him.

Hmm... a perfect opportunity for a prank, maybe? No, wait. Bad idea. Marvin’s powers could hit Schneep even while he was intangible, and he didn’t want to be burned by a ten-inch-wide beam of solid-heat energy. So he simply popped into view in front of the alleyway. “I—”

Marvin shouted in surprise and shot a beam of orange energy at Schneep.

Luckily, Schneep was able to duck in time, going limp and dropping to the ground. “Marvin! It is me!”

“Shit, sorry, Sch—Specter!” Marvin relaxed. “I guess I’m a bit on edge.”

“On edge? It is just a normal heist.” Schneep got to his feet. “We go in, we get information, we get out. Speaking of which, did you manage to find something to hack the system?”

“Heh. You make it sound like a TV show.” Marvin grinned. “All ‘I’m in’ and stuff. Anyway, yes, I have.” He held up the thing he was messing with. It looked like a normal USB stick, except with some green circuit patterns on the metal plug part. “Got it from the Dismantler’s family. It was made by one of the first technopaths, Net Work. Or... well, technically it’s based on something made by him, since back in Net Work’s day people still used floppy discs. But the Dismantler and her father both assured me it could easily hack any computer system and copy down files.”

“Huh. Interesting.” Schneep nodded slightly. “In any case, ready to check this place out?”

Marvin tapped his ear, where he had on the radio earpiece they’d used for the jailbreak. “Ready. Call me when I can go in.” He gestured for Schneep to go on. “Lead the way.”

It was easy enough for Schneep to get in. He could spot the dark circles on the walls that were SepTech cameras. It was easy to sneak past them last time, but he decided to avoid them now, just in case they’d been upgraded with infrared vision since his last infiltration. He made his way through a blank spot on the wall. Once inside, he was able to navigate more freely, heading to a side entrance to block off the camera feeds. He brought a tiny bottle of black paint for the express purpose of covering them.

“Alright, Spitfire, head around the left side of the building,” Schneep reported once he’d done just that. “There is an employee entrance that way. Once I see you, I will open it from the inside.”

“On my way,” Marvin reported, and only a few minutes later he was in sight. Schneep pushed it open, which looked very strange since he remained invisible while doing so. Marvin slipped through the gap. “Hm... maybe I should’ve worn street clothes?”

“No, it is fine, this is why I will be the lookout,” Schneep said. “Now... we just need to find a computer with system access and also a USB port for your... hacking device.”

Marvin chuckled. “It’s called a NetBreak.” He glanced around. “Hm... maybe this would be easier if I just handed this to you and had you do it.”

“Why all this doubt now?” Schneep asked, mildly annoyed.

“You’re right, you’re right, it’s too late. I’m just noticing flaws now that I hadn’t thought about in my rush to get here.” Marvin took a deep breath. “At least if something goes wrong now, we can back each other up. Now let’s go.”

Schneep nodded. “Head forward, I will be around you. But invisible.”

The two of them carefully walked forward, both of them keeping an eye out for cameras. There would be less of them inside, in all likelihood, but they still shouldn’t let their guard down. Schneep had been caught last time because of a motion sensing camera in the lab, after all. Who knew how many more of those there were in this location?

===============

God, was it already past midnight?! McLoughlin stared at the clock in the corner of the computer screen, blinking slowly. Time always seemed to move so fast when he was working. One moment, it was nine pm, the next, it was 12:30. “Jeez,” he muttered to himself. He took the remote out of his pocket. “Hey, display my outline for the SAM upgrade project.”

The image on the computer screen switched from blueprints to a series of written bullet points. McLoughlin leaned forward, scanning the writing. He had to read each of the points a couple times to really process them, but he was about halfway done. Good! He loved when things went smoothly.

He should probably take a break. Normally, he could work for a couple more hours, but tonight he must have been extra tired. Bummer. He’d been so tired lately, even though he was pretty sure he wasn’t doing enough to make him so exhausted. Perhaps burnout was approaching. All the years of working on project after project. It would be worth it, though. He would be able to change the world.

“Alright, SAM, time to wrap it up for the night,” he said, leaning back in his chair and stretching. His special SAM perked up at the sound of his voice, recognizing the command of ‘wrap it up’. “Hm... should I brush my teeth tonight?” He chuckled. “Yeah, probably. There’s no technology that could fix cavities, and I’ve already forgotten a lot recently.”

It was fairly early in the night... well, early for him, at least. He could probably head home no problem, just catching one of the night trains to get back. No need to crash in his makeshift bedroom in the lab. Though... he’d been a bit concerned about the lab recently. He kept thinking about that one night when the alarm woke him up in the middle of the night claiming there was motion detected in his bedroom while he was sleeping. It was probably just him moving out of the blind spot in the camera, but... with everything else going on, it left him uneasy. Maybe he should install more cameras—no, wait, he already did that, didn’t he?

“Unusual activity detected,” said the familiar robotic voice.

“Gah!” McLoughlin jumped in surprise. “What?” He took out his remote, speaking into it. “Explain further. What sort of unusual activity? Where?”

“Unauthorized download of files,” the voice said. “Located on floor five. Database being breached.”

“Well defend the database!” McLoughlin said. Was the interface not doing that already? That’s what it was made for, that’s why it was so adaptable. Well, obviously it was made for more than that. So much more. But not everything worked out perfectly.

“The program is proving difficult to deal with, but firewall defense is in progress,” the interface’s voice said.

“Are there cameras in the room the hack is coming from?” McLoughlin asked. “Can you display the feed from them, if so?”

The nearby computer screen flickered and then switched to the feed from a security camera positioned high up in the corner of a large space. Looked like one of the office floors, with rows of endless cubicles. A figure was bent over in front of a computer in one of these cubicles, their back to the camera. Were they wearing a cape? That was some sort of supervillain, wasn’t it?! McLoughlin leaned closer, squinting. This man was also wearing a mask of some sort with some pointy bits. “Are those... cat ears? A villain wearing a cat mask?”

“The closest match is Spitfire Cat,” the interface said.

“Spitfire Cat? I don’t—whoa, hey!” SAM had suddenly flown up into the air and was gently bumping his arm. McLoughlin looked down at it. “What? What is it?”

SAM looked up at him as well, the camera lens focusing on his face. A small spinning circle appeared in the corner of McLoughlin’s vision.

McLoughlin’s mechanical eye flickered, its iris going through the cycle of possible color options before landing on a red color. His posture relaxed, and he nodded. “Something must be done.” He turned to the side, walking towards the lab entrance. “Let’s send out the security force.”

===============

What was that? Some sort of... humming sound? Schneep frowned, confused. He looked around for the source of it. There was nothing in sight, so he started walking around, listening for the sound to get louder. It was coming from down the hallway. He walked past a spot on the wall, completely nondescript... but that’s where the humming was coming from. Strange. Were there some electronics in there kicking into high gear? But... what?

Curious, Schneep leaned through the wall, looking around. It was dark beyond, but he simply turned on the night vision in his goggles—and immediately gasped in shock. There were SAMs here! Hidden in a tiny room. He glanced over his shoulder and saw a futuristic metal door, the sort meant to slide to open. This room—it was built secretly, deliberately. Was it made to store these SAMs specifically?

The humming noise was coming from the SAMs’ hovering mechanism. They were turning on, sliding off the shelves lining the room one at a time. Once they were all active, he saw a tiny red light flick on above the camera attachment... and then instantly, all the Machines turned to look at him. Attachments on the side slid open, and out popped some sort of dart guns.

“Scheisse!” Schneep cursed, running out of the room just in time to avoid the darts that were fired at him. The secret room’s door slid open and the SAMs began pouring out, flying after him. They must have had infrared vision or something, because he was invisible! He ducked through another wall to avoid the next barrage of darts. He ended up in a small break room area, with sofas and a small kitchenette. “Spitfire!” he shouted into his earpiece. “Fucking emergency happening!”

“What?!” Marvin’s voice came over the radio. “What is it?!”

“More SAMs with weapons! They are active and coming after me! Possibly you too!”

“What?!” Marvin shouted. There was a slight pause, then he cursed. “I haven’t gotten nearly enough info onto the NetBreak! Whatever firewall this system uses is fucking beefy!”

“I can try to lead them away from you, but there are a lot of them!” Schneep hissed. “Some may already be heading your way!”

The break room’s door burst open, pushed down by three SAMs flying at it. Two black ones and a red one. They all immediately locked onto Schneep. The red one made a beeline for him while the others fired their darts.

Schneep yelped and went completely intangible, falling down through the floor to the room below this one. Some sort of storage closet. “Change of plans, I have fallen down to the fourth floor to avoid them,” he said.

“Why?!” Marvin shouted.

“To avoid them, I just said so! I was in a room with one entrance, there was no other way out!” Schneep opened up the closet door—and gasped as he saw a handful of SAMs fly past. “Fuck! Spitfire, there are more on this floor! We need to get out of here!”

“Okay, okay! We’ll make do with what we managed to get so far,” Marvin said. “I’ll meet you at the same entrance we—oh shit!”

“Spitfire? Spitfire!” Schneep yelled into the earpiece but received no answer.

The lights in the hallway turned red. “Security alert. Security alert.” The robotic voice came on over a speaker. “Intruders found in the building. All employees are advised to stay at their stations. Do not panic.”

A few doors along this hallway opened up, confused faces looking out. Someone shouted, pointing at the SAMs. A blue one turned towards them at the sound of their voice. The person quickly retreated into the door they’d come from, but the blue SAM continued to turn, seemingly scanning the hallway. Probably looking for Schneep or Marvin!

Schneep retreated into the storage closet and ran through the back wall, taking a shortcut into another part of the building. Getting out of here would be no problem for him. But what about Marvin?! He knew Marvin suggested that they meet up at the side entrance, but... maybe he should go find him, anyway?

He ran out into a hallway—only to get immediately spotted by a green SAM. An attachment opened up, a door sliding open on the top and a long, thin thing popping out. A thin beam of red light shot at Schneep. He cried out as it hit his stomach, burning into him! Quickly, he dodged back the way he came. That was a laser! He patted his stomach, hissing. It burned right through his costume, a line that swiped across his midsection as a result of his dodging. Okay, these were more of a threat than he expected. If they had energy attacks, they could hurt him even while he was intangible... as that one just had.

Part of the wall started to glow red. Wait a minute. Was the SAM trying to cut through the wall?! Panicking, Schneep dropped through the floor again, landing on the third story. “Spitfire, I am going to linger as much as I can,” he said into the earpiece. “In case you need help. But these things can hurt me, so I may need to flee soon.”

Marvin did not respond.

===============

“Okay, okay! We’ll make do with what we managed to get so far,” Marvin said, pulling the NetBreak out of the computer he’d plugged it into. “I’ll meet you at the same entrance we—”

Crash! A SAM flew through a frosted glass door nearby, shattering it. The camera lens immediately locked onto Marvin and a compartment on its underside slid open. A large gun dropped down, firing at Marvin.

“Oh shit!” Marvin threw up a shield, but it wasn’t enough. The heavy projectile was like a cannonball. It slammed against the shield and the shield slammed into Marvin, knocking him down. His supersuit hissed upon contact with the solid-heat energy, burning slightly but luckily taking the brunt of the damage so his skin wasn’t hurt by his own energy. Marvin laid there for a moment, stunned. Schneep was yelling in the earpiece but he couldn’t respond.

Then the SAM flew into view, aiming that cannon-like attachment at him. And adrenaline kicked in. Marvin shot to his feet and jumped onto the nearby desk, then vaulted over the cubicle wall. The SAM fired a cannonball at the spot he’d just been, then turned to follow him.

Other SAMs were pouring into the room through the hole in the glass door. Most of them were black, but there were a handful of other colors, too. All of them had various weapons out and aimed at him. Marvin ran, keeping a dome of a shield around him. It managed to stop the smaller darts and lasers, but one of those cannonballs would be disastrous. Luckily, those ones seemed to be slower to load and fire than the others, and much rarer too.

Normally Marvin would feel bad for causing property damage... oh, who was he kidding, he would never feel bad for causing SepTech property damage. He’d never liked their alliance with the League of Heroes. But he felt even less remorse now as he ran at a wall, sending out a fan of solid heat energy to cut his way through. He kicked down the remaining supports and ran out into the hallway.

The lights out here were red. “Security alert. Security alert,” repeated a mechanical voice from a speaker. “Intruders found in the building. All employees are advised to stay at their stations. Do not panic.” Then it started the message over.

More SAMs came flying down the hallway towards him. “Fuck!” Marvin cursed, sending out beams of energy towards them. He aimed at the main bodies of the Machines, but missed a few times, only shearing off their peripheral “tails” or the weapon attachments. A barrage of darts hit the backside of his dome shield and he glanced over his shoulder to see more SAMs coming from the opposite direction. These things were converging on him! They must be coordinating with each other somehow!

He took a deep breath and charged forward, blades of glowing energy slicing through SAMs as he got close. He managed to run through them without getting injured—

“Gah!” No sooner had he thought how lucky that was, then he felt something pierce his legs. He looked down and saw some darts lodged in his lower shins and calves. “Shit.” It was never good to be shot with a dart. Because you never knew what they were meant to contain. He had to get out of here before whatever that was took effect!

His mind scrambled for a solution, and he remembered how Schneep had simply fallen through the floor to avoid the SAMs earlier. Couldn’t he do that too? He looked down at the floor and conjured up a pair of glowing yellow blades, directing them to saw around him in a circle. They did so, and the floor beneath him broke. He landed with a crash on the next floor down, making sure to bend his knees to take the fall.

He’d landed in some sort of office. A woman screamed in fear as he appeared, cowering beneath her desk. “Sorry!” he said. “Don’t worry, SepTech can afford repairs!” He cut through the floor here as well, continuing downwards in a straight line. Above him, SAMs were flying after him, firing more darts and lasers, but were all blocked by his shield.

Once he was on the ground floor he sprinted to the exit, running until he recognized the path he’d taken to get in here. “Specter!” he shouted into the earpiece. “I’m heading for the exit now!”

“Ah, coming to meet you!” Schneep said.

Marvin said nothing more, just ran, quickly losing the SAMs in the twists and turns of the hallways. He knew how to get back to the exit, he did, he did!

The shield around him flickered.

Marvin gasped, stumbling a little. He hadn’t dropped concentration, there was no reason his shield should flicker. Unless... those darts he’d been hit with... Were they full of neutrinalin?

He stalled for a second to bend over and yank the darts out, wincing at the pain. One of them had about a quarter of the vial still full. He could see the distinct pale lavender color. “Fuck!” he hissed. That was definitely neutrinalin! And he’d been hit with, what, four of them? His powers were going to fade fast.

But luckily, he could see the exit now. He ran for the door. “Specter, where are you?!” he hissed.

A figure suddenly appeared in front of the door—Schneep, his features totally hidden behind his mask, goggles, and hood. He pushed open the door and gestured for Marvin to hurry. Marvin put on another burst of speed. His shield flickered again, and he shouted in surprise as a laser hit the back of his shoulder. No time to worry about that!

The two of them burst out into the side alley, and immediately both ran for the front of the building. “What is up with your shield?!” Schneep asked. “Are you okay?!”

“They have darts full of neutrinalin!” Marvin said. “I got hit.”

“Fuck!” Schneep glanced back over his shoulder. “There are so many of them! Take some out before your powers fade!”

Marvin nodded. He spun around, sending out a wave of yellow-hot energy. It burned and smashed against a good number of the SAMs, but even more of them were coming!

And for a split second before turning back around, he saw him. McLoughlin, wearing a rumpled white coat, walked out of the side entrance. His face... In all the pictures and videos Marvin had seen of him, McLoughlin looked very cheerful, very smiley. But now... his expression was totally blank. And his right eye glowed red.

Marvin shivered, then ran forward, putting on a boost of speed. He put up a curved shield around himself and Schneep, but it felt harder to do than usual. That would disappear soon. They had to get to a safe place before that happened! “Come on, we have to lose them!”

Schneep nodded. He’d looked over his shoulder as well, no doubt seeing the same number of SAMs, as well as McLoughlin. He grabbed Marvin’s hand and pulled him onwards, dodging around a lamp post for protection from the SAMs.

McLoughlin simply stood there and watched them run.

===============

It was a boring night patrol. Jackie sat up on top of one of the tall skyscrapers downtown, bracing himself against the slippery slope of the glass roof. He had his old police scanner radio with him. He knew that the Red Line could alert him to crimes happening in the area, but he’d never turned that feature on, preferring this way of doing things. In fact, he hadn’t even brought the Red Line with him tonight. He just felt weird about it.

He looked up into the sky. There were never many stars visible in Daindover, what with all the light pollution created by a big city. But sometimes he imagined flying so high that the city lights wouldn’t have any effect on the night. It would be so beautiful up there... but everything down here would be so small. That might be nice. But he couldn’t fly that high. No hero could.

He’d been up on a rooftop like this the day he’d been accepted into the League. The day he met Chase. Things had changed so much since that day. Was he... the same person he was back then?

Noise came from the police scanner. “Reports are coming in from the North SepTech location, multiple calls from within the building. Employees are reporting intruders, as well as Semi-Autonomous Machines with ‘guns’ of some sort.”

Weaponized SAMs?! Jackie sat up straight, starting to slide a little on the sleek roof. He grabbed the police scanner and shoved it into a pouch on his belt. He had to check this out! Without stopping to think, he pushed himself off the roof and launched into the sky, shooting through the air towards the North SepTech building.

The North building... that was where McLoughlin’s lab was! The one with the secret room of SAMs in the first place! It couldn’t be a coincidence. Were there more in there? Ones they hadn’t discovered? But—how? The police and the League must have combed the building!

His thoughts raced as he zoomed through the sky, high above the city. It was cold up here, but travel was so much faster when you didn’t have to go around obstacles like buildings. Only a few minutes later, he started diving back down towards the streets, scanning the roads below for any signs of anything going wrong. The scanner said that employees inside the building were calling the police about this, but there might be things to see in the surrounding area—is that Marvin?!

Yes, it was! He would recognize that Spitfire Cat costume anywhere! And with him... that purple costume. Schneep, as the Specter? What were they doing here?!

The answer to that question revealed itself when Jackie looked a bit further down the street. A swarm of SAMs! They were chasing Schneep and Marvin, firing at them from various weapons. Right now they were too far away to hit, and Schneep and Marvin were effectively dodging and weaving around lamp posts, trash cans, benches, and decorative trees. But the SAMs were catching up.

Panic and anger flooded Jackie’s mind. He dropped like a rock, rocketing to the ground. He landed hard (maybe a bit too hard) right in between his friends and the SAMs. Then, with a mighty shout and all his concentration, he pushed all the air forward, creating a gust of mighty wind. The sudden attack sent all the SAMs flying, beeping faintly as their hovering mechanisms tried and failed to compensate for the turbulence.

“Ja—Windstorm!” Schneep gasped, skidding to a halt and looking back at him. “What are you doing here?!”

“Getting you, apparently!” Jackie said. He ran for the two of them, wrapping one arm around each. Marvin yelped in surprise. “Hold onto me!”

Confused, both Schneep and Marvin wrapped their arms around Jackie. He jumped into the sky, rising quickly. Schneep screamed in fear, and Jackie would have teased him about the high-pitched sound if this wasn’t a clearly very serious situation. Instead, he simply flew away, putting as much distance between them and the SAMs.

He didn’t stop until he’d put a good few streets between them and the SAMs. Then, he slowly lowered to the ground in an empty park. No, wait... that was a graveyard. He probably should’ve spotted the church. But it was too late, this was where they were landing, so they all had to deal with the spookiness. At least it was guaranteed to be empty. 

“Hooooly shit!” Marvin stumbled. “That—that—f-fast! Fast!” He leaned against a nearby headstone. Then he realized what he was leaning against and quickly jerked backwards. “Ah... sorry,” he muttered to the stone.

Schneep sat down on the ground, looking very shaken. “Afraid of heights?” Jackie asked him.

“F-fast,” Schneep said, repeating the same thing Marvin had.

“Well, yeah, I had to get you away from those things,” Jackie said. “SAMs can fly, but they’re not fast. And they can’t go more than two meters off the ground, or about seven feet, I think. So flying high and fast was the best solution.” He looked back and forth between the two of them. “Do, uh... do you guys need a moment before I start asking you questions?”

“I think I’m good,” Marvin muttered. “But I have a question of my own. What were you doing there?! I mean, I’m glad you were, but—were you on patrol?”

“Yep.” Jackie nodded. He quickly explained the thing about SepTech employees calling about intruders and SAMs. “Which, now that I think about it...” He narrowed his eyes. “Okay, I don’t want to be too suspicious, but... you’ve both broken into places before—in fact, Schneep broke into that exact building before—”

“Yes, we were the intruders,” Schneep said, climbing to his feet.

“Why?! And what could’ve possibly led to those SAMs being there and chasing you?!”

Schneep and Marvin glanced at each other. “You explain,” Marvin said shortly. Schneep sighed, and did so, telling Jackie all about their plan to infiltrate the North SepTech location to see if there was anything suspicious about McLoughlin.

Jackie listened. Annoyed at first, though that was soon replaced by a sinking feeling. “You... you guys shouldn’t have done that,” he stammered. “I-I’ve been keeping an eye on McLoughlin. I haven’t found anything—”

“Yeah, because all the illegal shit was kept in secret rooms!” Marvin interrupted. “I’ll bet good money that he’s been doing this for a while. That storage room Specter here found was probably for the SAMs that were still under construction. Once they were done, he shipped them off. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some in other SepTech buildings!”

Jackie hated to admit that made sense. “I just... maybe Anti-Virus was infiltrating the building at the same time you were?”

Schneep shook his head. “The SAMs only went after us, ignoring all other employees. Why do you think that is? Because I think it makes the most sense if they were defending the building, stopping us from finding things out. Even if McLoughlin is not Anti-Virus himself, there is no doubt that he is at least working with him. Otherwise, the SAMs would not come to get us. It would be the normal SepTech security force.”

“Yeah, and those things had neutrinalin!” Marvin added. “That shit’s hard to get on the black market cause the League keeps a tight hold on it. If Anti-Virus was just some random villain, he’d have trouble getting enough to fill up those dart guns. But if he had connections to the League—like through SepTech—”

“And McLoughlin was there!” Schneep added suddenly.

“Oh, you saw him too?” Marvin asked. “I thought you did.”

“Wait, you guys saw him?” Jackie asked.

Marvin nodded. “He watched us leave. And... that expression on his face...” He shuddered. “I’ve seen a lot of villains in my lifetime. The ones that had blank looks like that were always the dangerous ones. Because you could tell they didn’t care.”

Jackie blinked. He walked over to a tall angel statue and leaned back against it, resting his head on the book the statue was holding. He rubbed his eyes. “Just once, I would like to be right about someone,” he muttered. “I would like it if everyone I know didn’t turn out to be embroiled in this villain shit.”

“Should we be offended?” Schneep asked in a half-hearted joking tone.

“No, no, I-I know you guys are... good guys,” Jackie said, raising his head. “Even though I don’t really agree with what you do, I know you mean well. Though, uh... seriously, you guys should reconsider your lines of work.”

“Well gee thanks,” Marvin drawled, folding his arms. 

“I will remind you that I paid for Chase’s medical fees,” Schneep added.

“Look, I just—I-I wish something was straightforward for once!” Jackie said, his voice growing into a shout. “I know that the world is complicated, and I know that life isn’t easy, but—but really. Every single person I get close to has turned out to be—to be—”

“A villain?” Marvin asked.

“Not even that!” Jackie threw his hands in the air. “Lorelai and Josh, the two Heroes I was really getting to know, turned out to be just, like—I-I don’t know! They weren’t the Heroes I expected! My handler sucks, and like, I know JJ was blackmailed and Chase probably had some shit going on in his past life, and their personalities aren’t different, but like—I don’t know! I don’t know anything! And honestly, I’m sick of not knowing anything! For once, I would like my feelings to be right, for my hopes to not just be hopes! I would like it if the guy I was starting to sympathize with didn’t turn out to be working with the villain who’s been terrorizing me for months! If he’s not Anti-Virus himself! Like—I like McLoughlin, believe it or not! I like him!”

“Oh you don’t know him,” Marvin said. “Do you even know his first name?”

“Yes! I do! Because he’s a public figure! And like—that’s gotta suck for him, you know? I’ve been bothered by people before just because I’m a recognizable Hero now, I can imagine how he would’ve been bothered, too. No wonder the guy hides in his lab so much. And the guy has no family! No friends! His best friend is that SAM he made! He was in a fucking explosion and he had to build his own prosthetics afterwards!”

“He was what?” Schneep blinked.

“Yeah, I know, right?!” Jackie looked at him. “Nobody ever thinks about that! The accident is semi-public knowledge, but as far as I can tell, he’s gotten no support for it! I know he must’ve gotten medical treatment, but like—there was no one there to help him afterwards. And that makes no sense, because he’s a nice guy. A bit awkward, maybe a bit too loud, but he’s nice, and he genuinely loves his robots and wants to help people with them.” He sighed. “Or at least... that’s what I thought.”

Marvin sighed. He walked over to Jackie, and after a moment of hesitation, reached out to put his hand on his shoulder. “I know. It sucks. But the world’s not nice. The only thing you can do about it is try to help others realize that too.”

Jackie looked at him, shocked for a moment. Then he shrugged off Marvin’s hand. “No.”

“H-huh?” Marvin blinked.

“If the world’s not nice, the only thing to do about it is be nice anyway,” Jackie said fiercely. “Because guess what? I’m part of this world. If I’m nice, then the world is a bit nicer too.” He looked to the side. “I’m... sorry about your grandmother, Marvin,” he whispered. “I’m sorry that happened. I’m sorry you haven’t been able to feel that grief.”

Marvin took a step back. Tears immediately came to his eyes. “Jackie...” He started to say something, but his words got caught in his throat.

Jackie took a deep breath. “On this occasion, I was wrong again,” he said. “But I’m not always going to be wrong. You guys... you’re good, despite what I first thought about Spitfire Cat and the Specter. I’m not wrong for changing my mind about them.” He looked back towards the North SepTech building. “This SAM thing... it doesn’t look good for McLoughlin. There’s no other way to spin this, really. He’s doing some shady shit, even if it’s not connected to Anti-Virus. And as a hero, I got to stop that.” He rubbed his eyes. “It’s late. I’m gonna go home, sleep the night away, then first thing in the morning, I’m going to confront him. In my full Hero authority.”

Schneep cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want to wait? What if he covers things up in the meantime?”

Jackie paused. “He might... But the SAM thing was pretty public. I heard about it on the police scanner. He can’t cover that up. He might try to explain it away as a coincidence or something else, but there’s no denying what everyone saw. It’s reason enough to ask him some questions, at least. Probably even detain him for a bit. I-I don’t think too much will change in a night.” He shrugged. “Besides, you guys said you hacked the system, right?”

“Hopefully,” Marvin muttered.

“Jackie...” Schneep hesitated. “What... what time will you confront him? I-I think it would be good for you to have some backup.”

“Oh!” Marvin nodded. “Yeah, we can be there... I think. At least, Schneep can be. I don’t think they ever saw him being an intruder.”

“Not with the naked eye, at least,” Schneep said.

Jackie blinked. “You guys would... be there?”

“I’ll be outside, at least,” Marvin said. “Ready to swoop in if something goes wrong.”

“And I can be your backup for the confrontation,” Schneep added.

Jackie glanced back and forth between them, then nodded. “I... I would appreciate that. Um, maybe... we meet outside the building at eight-thirty?”

“Eugh. Early.” Marvin curled his lip. “But the earlier the better, I guess.”

Schneep nodded. “Yes. We will be there.”

Jackie smiled. “Thanks, guys. Really.”

His eyes drifted towards the north again. Was McLoughlin really Anti-Virus? His gut told him no. But... he needed an explanation. And no matter what, there was no denying the suspicion surrounding McLoughlin now. He was involved in something. And Jackie needed to find out what. It was what a superhero would do.

[spectralsleuth]

Now that we're entering into 2024, I'm asking some artists and writers that I follow:

1) What is the one piece you're most proud of from this past year?

2) What are some pieces that you would have liked more people to see? If you can include links, I'd love to go check them out!

3) What were your top three favorite pieces (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(As always, no pressure to respond! Feel free to just ignore, or let me know if you'd rather I not send you these kinds of asks in the future.)

This is such a sweet and fun ask!! Thanks so much! I enjoyed seeing other authors answering this it’s so hype to get it myself.

1. This is hard to answer, because this year I tried to do something different with every fic I posted. When I got a concept I very pointedly didn’t shy away from it because it seemed difficult, or I thought I might be bad at it, so there’s something that makes me proud with each one. IF I HAD TO CHOOSE THOUGH I’m going to cheat and pick two.

What it Will Be I’m proud of this because it fell out of me SO EASY. I felt like the process of writing it was a testament to how hard I’ve been working at improving all year, and it came together very quickly and very well. I’m also proud because I incorporated @heckitall ‘s comic page to base it off of, and I’d never tried writing fic for a visual media like that. It was super fun!

On the OTHER end of the spectrum is Case of the Hidden City vs Lou Jitsu because it is VERY technically and narratively complicated and is by far the most ambitious thing I’ve ever written. It’s very hard, but I am VERY proud because I haven’t QUIT it. It’s not complete yet, but it is a good amount of the way there and I’m excited to finish it. Probably once I’ve recovered from surgery lol.

2. This sounds insincere maybe, but I really am happy with the engagement I get on my fic. I really do write my fic for me, and while I love to make sure as many people who want to read it can find it, at the end of the day I don’t like assigning people homework! I went through my whole works list and scratched my head and really tried to think of there was anything I wanted to plug, and I don’t think there is!

I guess I’ll post my lowest viewed, my Swanatello fic! @tangledinink ‘s AU I’m sure everyone’s familiar with lol. I knew that one would be lower when I posted it, if only because it has prior required reading (Swanatello). But I wrote it mainly because the AU was starting to reach a critical point and I REALLY wanted to write fanfiction of how I fantasized an ending might be, so I could go back and read it for comfort. I love Odette and the lore Kayson made for his AU, so I’ll plug this only because I think some people may have missed it!

3. Three works!! JUST THREE?? AUGH.

little kid with a big death wish

By @remedyturtles ! This made me leak tears the whole way through, so huge CW’s obviously. Not only was it one of the best fics I’ve ever read, but I got the privilege of seeing how talented Rem is behind the scenes a little and saw how they write and work and I really want to emulate them going forward. One of many all timer fics for me, for sure, I’d love to read any original fiction they put out.

The Whispering Forest and Other Tales

By @sroloc--elbisivni and @kithnkin ! I love love LOVE the feudal Japan fusion, the research, and the perfect blend of Usagi Yojimbo’s universe with what the Riseverse would have been like in this era. Even the little segues into what they’re wearing and eating is endlessly fascinating to me. Every single character is written to be the best and most interesting version of that character I could imagine. Theres Leosagi, there’s a PB&J murder mystery, there’s spookiness- AND Raphael Hamato gets wifed up!! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT? I love people that write a fully fleshed story that could be a standalone universe, without losing ANY of the flavor or humor or narrative of the original source material.

And last is I’m Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now

@tangledinink has such a good grasp of family and writing, and realistic portrayals of what would HONESTLY HAPPEN if you discovered literally any aspect of the ROTTMNT narrative. Not even taking into ACCOUNT the turtle nonsense, how do you unpack a family that’s been devoted to destroying a magic monster and sacrificing themselves, or a Dad that fought in a death match battle royale for over a decade, or a RIVAL CLAN OF NINJA? All the characters are written SO WELL, and Kayson does a fantastic job of never letting the characters or story fall into cliche tropes. Their characters are always super detailed, to the point where I really feel it if they’re hungry or hurt or itchy. Which is a weird thing to point out but they make sure you really FEEL the situation. Also like, turtles in highschool? Body dysphoria? My CO-CEO of Hamato Yoshi???

What a great year!! I had so much fun in fandom this year and made a lot of friends.

[maraudersarecanon]

fic rec/rant

So I just finished cadence of part-time poets today and that fic was a ROLLERCOASTER. I don’t normally read non-magical aus but it was a recommendation from a friend and I’m so so glad I read it. I have lots to say on this fic. WOLFSTAR. DJFHDJSJSK. They are the absolute cutest and it’s the slowest of slow burns but the pay off is fantastic. Also plenty of Jily with just the perfect character dynamics I mean what more could we ask for? Also (mild spoiler) lots of Regulus that made me very happy. It’s not all couples overall I just felt like the characterisation was perfect of everyone, not just the marauders but also the girls too with a few OCs that just slot right into that world. Main character is Remus and of course he’s given a bit of a tragic backstory and this fic succeeded where atyd failed because we still get delinquent Remus but it’s actually in a canon compliant way (as canon compliant as you can get in an au). The band itself is a really great premise but I really like how it’s introduced slowly because we just start off with your usual marauders shenanigans at school and it just naturally segues into a band fic. The author’s also clearly done a lot of research and put a lot of effort into this fic because the detail is mind-blowing not just in the 70s stuff but also in the characterisation of desi James and his family so kudos to @motswolo. I could probably go on but I think I’m going to wrap it up there and just say thank you so much for this fic @motswolo and it is an absolute masterpiece.

[supermacaquecool]

Ik Odd pair won the poll, but I re-read Simple dreams today instead, so I wrote about it first lol

I have been wanting to write one of those cheesy "4 times x, 1 time y" kinda fics, so I was trying to workshop an idea through writing Saki-Aoi interactions... I wanted to show some kind of evolution to their dynamic so I wrote two different drafts with two different scenarios that became two different ficlets lol This is one of them. For this one, I started with the idea of jokes since I always end up laughing pretty hard at Aoi's reaction to them in-game (she's very endearing to me bc of it lmao), and Saki has a pechant for using humor to test people or take the edge off the bombs she drops. And yes, I was naturally having fun with the girl best friends dynamic lol

So, it was about Saki's playful behavior,,, but I didn't really know what to do with it for the longest time. I kept rewriting the first paragraph trying to settle my thoughts into a rhythm. It didn't come together until I found myself writing "If she'd only ask, Saki would tell her" (and I no longer remember where this sprung from, I'm intrigued now). It's such a perfect sentence for Saki’s contradictions. She isn't direct about wanting others to pay attention to her, she gets upset about being prodded.. Yet she still wants Aoi to show interest. That's what the fic boils down to. She's trying to find a way to get to know what Aoi likes to do and then segue into "then we should totally do x or y back home!" It's all so she can wring the promise out of her that they'll still be friends back home... Put simply, all her behavior in this fic is because she wants to be reassured about their bond. It really took me a long while to come up with a way to portray Saki's hemming and hawing and the underlying current to the way she interacts with others. She tends to test others and knows how to push their buttons and has all these emotions she refuses to really acknowledge but that still color her impulses, so it was tough to think about how to portray the way she spins conversations. But very fun. I'm very happy with how it turned out. I really love how her affinity dialogues are in-game when they have this kind of quality to them.

I wrote in the notes of the fic that I wanted to make Aoi as puzzled as Takuma can feel when talking to Saki, so that was also something else that was really amusing lol From start, she's uncomfortable with the topic of conversation lol She finds it embarrassing, doubly so bc she can't say she has gone to dates or that she's been invited. But she's also trying to keep under wraps the fact she doesn't like her classmates nor the fact she's so busy she hardly has time for fun LMAO Overall, she's pretty displeased with the questions since they touch on sore spots and it shows in the way her smiles falters lol I had fun writing her killing the mood with her avoidant answers or straight up "I don't have time for it", which was the last thing Saki wanted to hear lol I really want to write them running into their emotional walls more.

Of course, at the core of Saki's insecurity is her loneliness due her chronic illness, so I thought very hard how to include that aspect. I'm always thinking about my disabled pals when writing Saki. I write her in a way that they can relate or appreciate that aspect, so... It made happy that my friends picked on the discomfort around sickness Saki's remark about her own cuteness was meant to bring to the forefront. I didn't have much space to explore this aspect outside her intense fear about becoming isolated once again and her wistfulness about her "simple dreams", but it came out nicely imo.

As usual, Labramon was very useful to push the scenario forward where Aoi's shyness would have made it sink awkwardly lol I got to write her meddlesome side embarrassing Aoi, which I treasure 😂 I want to write Labramon putting her in evidence more, thusly embarrassing her.

I tend to wrap up these kinda fics with some fluff (it's mostly bc it's digimon lol I'd likely feel less inclined to be wholesome in other contexts lol), so I ended up resolving the conflict with Aoi unwittingly telling her what Saki wants to hear in no uncertain terms: that her pressence is treasured and appreciated. It still worked since Saki still had to cross that bridge and ask for what she wanted, so it wrapped up the ideas pretty nicely lol But I think it could be fun to write a more extended conflict between them (if I ever come up with any).

This one was really fun to write, I must say it again. Specially bc of Saki's body language, it was fun to come up with ways to make her move. I'm very happy with being able to write Saki crowding Aoi and then nestling her head in the crook of her neck in such a simple way lol When I started writing, trying to write this sort of action would had had me wracking my brains for months lol I'm glad I can do it now.

"I'm happy I met you, too!" Labramon happily, simple-mindedly, wags her tail. It's almost enviable.

Highlighting this segment because it's so mean and charged LMAO

[jikookiekosmos]

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, boyfriend!jungkook/reader, artist!jungkook

➥Summary: After surprising Jungkook with his own studio room for his paintings, he couldn’t be any more over the moon. All’s well and good until he’s struggling to find inspiration...which you happily provide him with. He’s ecstatic to find his muse in you, and painting your portrait brings him so much joy. Things take a turn however, when he suddenly realizes what else he wants to paint.

➥Genre: established relationship, tiny bit of angst if you squint, fluff, smut

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~7.9k (small drabbles don’t exist for me apparently, oops)

➥Content warnings: most of this at the beginning is just cute fluff domestic times (finally not much angst!), blonde jungkook, jk ties his hair up at some point (my weakness), jk puts paints on the reader, making out, slight hair pulling, cursing, shower sex times, jungkook has a big dick, oral (m. receiving), very slight mouth fucking, dirty talk, fingering (very brief), unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), biting, cumming inside, cute times in the shower, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! Their relationship will make a lot more sense though if you’ve read OFY beforehand. This fic takes place roughly around six months after the events of OFY (so in between that and the dream drabble I also posted).

Once again, thank you to @dntaewithluv​ for her endless support and always giving me feedback, I forever appreciate you and your friendship is more than I could ever ask for 💜

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

When I Dream of You - ~1 year after OFY

Stay With Me - a few months after the dream drabble

Also, I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn​

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

You would do absolutely anything in the world for Jeon Jungkook.

Seeing him happy had to be at the top of your list of favorite things in the world, as it had been for many years as his best friend, and now in the several months since the two of you started dating. Some things just never changed, you guessed.

Which is why you took it upon yourself to change one of the spare rooms in the house you two were renting into a space where he could thrive as the artist he was. Initially, the two of you thought it would be nice to use that space as a work area for you, since your job required you to sometimes do work from home. And for a little while, that’s exactly what you did.

But ever since you found out Jungkook liked to paint – scratch that, he loved to paint, and had been doing so for longer than you thought – the gears started turning in your head.

The current space he was using to create his art was definitely less than ideal. The house had a decent sized garage area, so there was enough room for him to store his supplies and be able to paint without it being too much of an issue. The downside, though, was it was cramped and even though Jungkook said he didn’t mind it, you still couldn’t help the frown from masking your features whenever you saw him huddled up so close to his easel.

For the last few weeks, and with lots of help from internet searches, you’d been slowly converting your space into something like a studio. You didn’t have to worry about Jungkook finding out, either, since he very rarely went into that room seeing as he had no reason to. He respected your privacy the same as you respected his, so this made everything infinitely easier for you in the long run.

The day had finally arrived where you would show the new space to Jungkook. Everything was set up as perfect as you could manage it – at least you hoped so – and you were dying of excitement to show him as soon as possible.

You were also, however, incredibly nervous at the same time. What if he didn’t like it? Even worse, what if he hated it?

Of course, you knew deep down that there was no way Jungkook could hate anything you ever did, unless it was something horrible, but you worried about everything because that’s just how you were. So, when the two of you were sitting at the dinner table one night, you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat as you listened to Jungkook talk about his newest work.

“I really think you’re gonna like how this one turns out, angel.” Jungkook was offering you a sweet smile as he went to grab another bite of food from his plate. You managed to smile back, despite the hammering of your heart against your chest. He was basically handing you the perfect opening for you to segue the conversation!

“I know I’ll love it, Koo.” You watched as his small smile turned into a full grin, his nose scrunching up in that adorable way that had you falling in love with him all over again every time you saw it.

“Speaking of your paintings,” you started off, clearing your throat while he swallowed down his food. He looked at you with his undivided attention and it made your heart skip a beat.

Ok let’s be real, every damn thing this man did made your heart skip a beat.

“Yeah? What about them?” He twirled more of the noodles around his fork while he waited on your answer.

You gulped. “Wouldn’t you like it if you had more space?”

Jungkook chuckled and placed his fork down, shaking his head as he placed on hand on top of yours that was still resting by your plate. You’d barely touched your food and he noticed.

“Baby,” he started, “as much as I would love to have a bigger space, what I have now is just fine. I know you think it’s stifling my creativity in there, but I’m still creating things and am comfortable.” He squeezed you hand gently before returning to his food.

“I get that you think the garage is fine but what if I told you that- that you could have a bigger workspace.” You finally picked up your fork and were poking around at your own food now, avoiding his gaze. You could feel his stare boring into you regardless, though.

“I mean – yeah, hypothetically I could have more space, but it’s not in the cards for us right now and that’s ok, too. Maybe one day.”

The way he always was optimistic about your future together made you feel warm all over. Jungkook liked to look on the bright side of every situation, and it��s been enough to help you keep your own wits about yourself numerous times now.

But this time you wanted to show him that the future could be closer than he realized.

“Koo, can you come with me real quick? I have something I want to show you.”

You didn’t miss the confused look that flashed across his face for a second before his calm demeanor took over again.

“Of course.” He hopped up from the table, that smile you adored now plastered on his face. “Lead the way.”

“Ok but I also need you to close your eyes.” You reached out to take his hand and were rewarded with an eyebrow raise.

He hummed thoughtfully but did as you asked, closing his eyes and grasping your hand tighter so you could lead him wherever you planned to.

You walked through the house pulling him behind you, feeling your heartbeat quicken with every step to where its pace was almost concerning. Whether or not it was mostly from excitement or nervousness, you weren’t sure.

You finally reached your destination and let go of his hand so you could open the door.

“Keep your eyes closed, ok,” you asked. Jungkook simply nodded and you saw a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had no idea what you were about to show him, but knowing you and how much he loved pretty much anything you did, he was sure it’d probably make him happy.

And he couldn’t have been more correct in his assumption.

At the quiet sound of you telling him he could open his eyes he did so, slowly at first, blinking to adjust to the light the now flooded over the both of you. It took him several seconds to register exactly what he was seeing, and when he did he couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare around the room, mouth agape.

Decorating the walls were the paintings he had given you, beautiful works of various sizes and themes. Alongside the far wall was a tall shelf that housed all his supplies (how had you managed to get them past him without him noticing?), and even some new things like paints he’d been eyeing for a while and other tools he hadn’t had a chance to get himself yet.

But in the middle of the room stood his easel and chair, set up in the similar fashion as it had been in the garage. His apron was draped across the back of the chair, and there was even tarp laid out underneath the workspace. You research had paid off because everything was set up in such a way that it created the perfect atmosphere for Jungkook’s creativity to shine through in ways it hadn’t been able to before.

You weren’t aware of this yet, however, because you were still watching Jungkook’s reaction. He still hadn’t said anything, and as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, you started to wonder if this was the right call-

Strong arms were pulling you up from the ground and spinning you around before you could process it, making you squeal with delight as Jungkook twirled you before bringing you back down to pepper kisses all over you face.

“Angel, I can’t believe this, you did all this for me?” He was still holding onto your hips tightly, beaming as he looked down at you. Your nod and giggle was all the confirmation he needed before he pulled you into another kiss, this one slightly more heated than the ones before.

“Do you like it,” you questioned when the both of you pulled away to breathe. Jungkook laughed before taking your face in his hands and brushing his nose along yours.

“Do I like it? Baby, I love it. It’s perfect! Thank you so much.” Another kiss. “I love it and I love you, I love you so fucking much.”

His happiness made your heart soar and you definitely knew that you’d do something like this an infinite amount of times if it meant he’d keep that smile on his face.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

A few weeks passed by and Jungkook had been using his new studio nearly everyday at this point. His creations had been increasing in numbers and he was starting to receive commissions from others thanks to his small online shop he’d set up with your help. He still worked at the bar as his primary job, but he was also grateful to have a hobby on the side that could potentially yield something lucrative.

Of course, Jungkook’s increase in his time spent on his art still didn’t take away from his time with you. If anything, it gave the both of you another way to spend time together, since now there was enough space for you to sit in and observe him paint when you couldn’t before. You often sat quietly and either did some of your own work or engaged in your own hobbies while he painted, and it was always peaceful.

There came a day, though, that you never thought you’d experience: Jungkook had run out of inspiration. He’d hit his first real artist’s block and it was taking a bigger toll on him than he would’ve liked.

You rubbed his shoulders as he sat in front of his easel one night, groaning in frustration about his current work. “It’s not turning out at all like I want it to. I’ve been struggling with finding new inspiration and it clearly shows in whatever this is.” He vaguely gestured to the canvas, prompting you to place a kiss on his cheek as you ran your hand through his pretty blonde hair. You knew that always helped to calm him down and this case was no exception.

Jungkook sighed heavily, turning to place a kiss on your palm that was still lingering around his face. “Sorry, I don’t mean to get worked up. It just sucks, you know? I’d been on this really good streak of creating things and now I just…can’t. It’s weird and I don’t like it.” He pouted slightly and the sight made you giggle.

“I know, baby, but you’ll figure something out. You always do.” You placed a kiss on top of his head before you walked around to sit on his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of his hands cradled your waist to steady you.

He was humming thoughtfully as he looked you up and down, your hands now playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“What are you thinking about?”

He smiled slyly. “You.”

You rolled you eyes before returning the smile. “Ok, what about me? I’m curious.”

His hand was rubbing up and down your side. “Nothing in particular, just usually looking at you can help me with inspiration.”

His confession made you gasp. “Really?”

He nodded and smiled wider. “Really. You inspire me a lot.” He placed a chaste kiss on your lips before sighing again. “This time though it’s not really working like I’d hoped.”

You watched his eyes close and his brows furrow before an idea popped into your head. “Hey,” you reached down to tilt his chin up so he’d look at you, “It might be a long shot, but: have you ever considered painting portraits?”

He pursed his lips as he thought about it. The simple act made you want to kiss him but now wasn’t the time.

“Honestly…no. I’ve never thought about it before because I usually prefer to paint scenery.”

You searched his eyes as you asked your next question. “Well, if you want to try, maybe you could paint me? Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, maybe it can help spark a new idea or something?”

You watched as his eyes slowly lit up at your suggestion, his face morphing into a smile that you mirrored.

“That’s a great idea! It’s something new and it also includes you, so I already love it.” You chuckled in his lap as he hugged you closer, placing a small kiss on your neck. “Thank you.”

You ran your hands through his hair again before leaning back. “Anything for you. Do you want to start now?”

He thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, we can do that. Is there, uh – was there something specific you wanted to wear for it?”

You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. “Are you suggesting you want to paint a nude portrait?”

Even though Jungkook knew your body better than you did at this point, your words still managed to make him blush as he groaned. “No, I wasn’t thinking that- not that I’d mind of course just you know, whatever makes you comfortable-”

You laughed at his flustered nature before hopping off his lap. “You’re so cute. I’ll go find something to change into, it shouldn’t take long.”

“R-right,” he stuttered, still clearly somewhat affected by what you had said. You shook your head with amusement as you went to your bedroom to find something to wear. You settled for a purple dress that you knew Jungkook loved, and considering a lot of his paintings involved shades of purple and blue, you figured it would be perfect.

You knew you made the right choice when you stepped back into the room and saw Jungkook’s face when his eyes fell on you. He looked like he’d never seen someone so beautiful (he looked at you like that a lot and it always did something to you) and your lips curled upwards into a smile before you could realize it.

You stopped in the doorway and twirled, giving him a full view of the dress. “Is this ok?”

You already knew the answer, but it was always nice to hear him say it.

He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it’s perfect. You can, uh, you can take a seat whenever you’re ready.”

While you were changing, Jungkook had pulled one of the loveseats from the living room into the space so you’d have somewhere to sit or lay while he painted you. The loveseat was a dark blue color and it contrasted beautifully against the color of your dress. You decided to lay on it in a comfortable pose, and you couldn’t help the small giggle you let out at Jungkook’s reaction to your choice.

You had laid an arm behind your head, turning your face so you were looking at him while the rest of your body was sprawled out on the loveseat. One of your legs dangled over the side, making the skirt of your dress hike up somewhat. You were very comfortable, and Jungkook was very happy with your pose.

“Make it pretty, ok,” you joked with him. He smirked at your comment.

“You know I will. I’ll use my best colors, just for you.”

“Wow, I feel special,” you quipped back. You were rewarded with the sound of his beautiful laughter as it echoed off the walls.

“You’re the most special,” he admitted honestly. You gave him a brilliant smile and he felt his heart stutter.

With the way you were looking at him, Jungkook thought that if he didn’t start painting, he may never start. So, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you so he could find the paints he needed to get started. He tied up his hair, a few of the blonde strands escaped and framed his face but he didn’t seem to mind it too much as he got to work.

Thankfully, since you’d chosen a good position, the process was easier than you thought it would be. You just had to lie there and watch him work, which you happily did. You enjoyed watching his face scrunch up in concentration before relaxing again as he brushed stroke after stroke onto the canvas.

You were so beyond proud of him that it made your heart swell inside your chest.

Jungkook had been painting for a little over half an hour before he announced it was time to take a break. He could paint for hours on end without stopping, but that was when he didn’t have a live subject he was working with. He walked over to you with a bottle of water so you could sip from it without having to disturb your position too much.

You sat up slightly so you could drink, and while you did so, one of your dress straps started falling down your arm. Jungkook immediately went to move it back into place, but as he did, he couldn’t help but stare at the dark contrast of the purple satin against your skin. He thought it was so pretty, and his mind started wandering to how the paint itself might look-

He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He may have been covered in paint himself, but that didn’t mean he needed to go putting paint on you.

When you were re-situated on the loveseat once more, Jungkook strolled back over to this easel. Unfortunately, since that thought of you covered in paint first took up residence inside his head, he now found it hard to focus on anything else. While he stared at you to try and resume your portrait, he just kept picturing you with painted streaks covering your skin instead.

You must have noticed he was distracted because soon you were calling over to him. “Kook? Is something wrong?”

He gulped and shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong! You’re doing great, baby.”

“Do you need me some other way?”

Such a simple statement and yet it was stirring something inside of him. Asking him if he needed you a certain way ignited that desire to once again paint you and he found himself unable to hold back from asking anymore.

“Yeah, I uh, I wanted to try something.” You were confused when he got up and started walking toward you, only carrying his paint supplies. At first you thought maybe he just wanted to get closer, but he didn’t bring the easel with him.

“What are you wanting to try,” your voice was laced with curiosity. He gave you a shy smile.

“I was just thinking about how pretty it would be,” he looked down at the floor then back up at your face before he continued, “if I used you as a canvas instead.”

You felt your breath hitch in your throat at the request. Jungkook was asking to paint you, not paint you on a portrait, but to paint you. The suggestion intrigued you a lot more than you thought it would, which is ultimately what led to you nodding your agreement. “I think I’d like to try that, too.”

Jungkook’s face broke into such a dazzling smile that excited you to no end. You watched as he pulled his chair close to you, as well as some tarp to place around the area. When he was situated where he wanted to be, he dipped his brush into some of the purple paint on his palette and gently lifted your arm. The feeling of the paint as it brushed along your arm was foreign but not unwelcome. There was something about it that was almost calming.

You were now also recalling all the times you’d told Jungkook how pretty he looked even covered in paint. The pretty colors contrasting with his beautiful, golden skin tone never failed to take your breath away no matter how many times you saw it. You wondered briefly if this is what he was experiencing now as he took his time painting your skin.

He was focusing on your with such intensity and taking great care to only get the paint where he wanted it, so as to not stain certain parts of you or your dress. The sight of his caution made that familiar warmth bloom in your chest again.

He took his time painting beautiful designs along your arm before moving down to paint on your thighs and legs. He was alternating between purple and blue hues now, and the swirling patterns reminded you a lot of his tattoos that you adored. You had spent many nights lying next to him in bed, tracing the lines of his tattoos until you were too sleepy to keep it up. Seeing the patterns against your own skin briefly made you think about if you would ever want to get a tattoo. Before you put too much thought into it, your attention was pulled back to Jungkook who was sitting up now and admiring his work.

The time had passed by much quicker than you anticipated, and it was starting to get dark outside as the light was no longer filtering in through the windows of the room.

He seemed satisfied as he nodded and smiled. “Wait here, I’ll be right back. Stay just like this,” he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before leaving the room. When he returned, he had his coveted polaroid camera in his hands. Jungkook was also big into photography, and every one of his hobbies suited him perfectly in some way.

“Is it ok if I take a photo of you, baby?”

You grinned and nodded, being careful not to move too much from your current position. He snapped the photo and the polaroid was printing immediately after. When he pulled it from the camera, he laid it down on the table next to his easel so it could develop properly.

Jungkook wiped his hands off on his apron before taking it off and drawing his attention back to you. He could stare at you like this all day, but he knew it would probably be best to get you both cleaned up and paint-free.

He offered a hand for you so he could help pull you off the loveseat. When you were up fully, he wrapped his arms around you, careful to not get any of his exposed, paint-covered skin on your dress.

“You look so beautiful like this,” he murmured softly, brushing some of your hair out of your face as his eyes scanned up and down your body to admire his creation. “And as much as I love seeing it, we should probably get this paint off soon. When it dries too much, it can be a bitch to scrub off, and I don’t want that for you.”

You chuckled at that and simply nodded your head. You’d been lying there for nearly 2 hours at this point, so you were pretty tired and ready to just relax for the night.

The two of you hopped into the shower shortly after, helping each other rid your bodies of the remnants of paint covering you both. You always loved taking showers with Jungkook, because whether or not it was a short, regular shower, or one shared after a night of intimacy, these moments were some that you cherished the most and wouldn’t change for the world.

You got lost in the feeling of Jungkook scrubbing shampoo into your hair, letting out soft noises as your eyes slipped closed.

Your noises always threatened to drive Jungkook crazy, and this time was no exception. He couldn’t deny the stirring of his cock as he listened to the little moans slipping from your mouth at such a simple action.

Of course, since he was so close to you, there was no way you didn’t feel him. His cock was hardening against your thigh, and the fact that you were turning him on by not doing much turned you on.

You could feel the wetness start to slip past your folds, but you decided to not make any moves yet, wondering how far you could take this before either of you snapped. You knew that teasing him was one of the quickest ways to get Jungkook riled up.

“Feels so good, Koo,” you shamelessly moaned out as he kept massaging the shampoo into your hair. You heard him let out a small grunt at your deliberate words, feeling him twitch against your thigh as he got harder.

You leaned your head back to give him a better view of your neck, since you knew he loved to mark you up there. His hands were starting to tangle in your hair, but he took care to not pull too hard as he brought his attention back to the task(s) at hand.

He was currently focusing on two things: 1) getting the rest of the shampoo out of your hair, and 2) not fucking you up against the shower wall. Doing the first thing was currently keeping him from acting on the second, but you certainly weren’t helping with that.

Your head lolled around on your neck, your eyes still closed as your sounds got louder. He knew you were messing with him now, so as retaliation he pulled on your hair a little tighter, making you gasp.

“You’re doing this on purpose, angel,” you could hear the dark tone of his voice over the waterfall in the shower clearly, and it just made you more aroused. You chanced opening your eyes to look at him, and the sight you were met with made you moan louder, this time without trying.

Jungkook was staring at you, mouth slightly parted as he let out pants of his own, his blonde, soaked tresses falling in his face and covering his eyes. His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he tugged on your hair again, making you reach out to place your hands on his chest.

“You’re teasing me to get me worked up, hm?” All you could do was nod, his husky voice and the feeling of his hand wrapped in your hair making you wetter by the second. There was no use in playing coy any longer. You wanted him, and he wanted you.

The question now was: who would make the first move?

You realized that you wanted to be the one to make the first move, so you did.

“So, what if I am,” you asked sweetly, wrapping your hand around his length and pumping him slowly. His eyes closed and he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, fingers now digging into your waist.

“You know what happens when you do that,” Jungkook warned. You absolutely knew what happened, and you definitely wanted it to happen.

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe you should enlighten me.” You teased him as you gently nibbled on his earlobe, increasing your pace as you continued to stroke him. You heard him let out a soft moan against your shoulder as he placed a kiss there.

With no more hesitation, you turned him slightly and sank down to your knees in front of him, delighted by how his cock jerked in your hold when you steadied it with your hand.

Jungkook stared at you wide-eyed as you started moving your hand around his shaft before placing a gentle kiss on his tip, the prettiest groan falling from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N, are you sure you want to do this?”

You peeked up at him as you fluttered your eyelashes, knowing that seeing you like this always aroused him beyond belief. You continued moving your hand in slow, languid strokes, and he was almost fully hard now.

He let his head hit the wall behind him, soft curses and praises for you tumbling from his mouth. 

Seeing him like this had to be near the top of the list of your favorite sights to ever witness. And right then is when you figured it’d be the perfect time to surprise him. Without a warning you opened your mouth and took all of him in that you could reach.

Jungkook’s reaction was immediate.

“Hey wait what are y- oh my God, fuck.” His loud moan echoed off the walls of the room, causing a fresh wave of arousal to pool between your thighs. You sucked harder as you hollowed out your cheeks, ignoring the way your throat constricted around him.

“Y/N, shit, you feel so good, your mouth- fuck, angel, I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook was panting hard above you, eyes shut and brows furrowed, jaw slack as he unabashedly continued to moan at your actions. He was reaching behind him to try and hold something, but the smooth wall had nothing to offer him. His fingers were slipping against the tile, so he gave up and instead settled for clenching and unclenching his fists.

You pulled off him with a pop, a string of saliva left in your wake. You smiled up at him as you kept stroking him, not wanting his pleasure to disappear in the slightest.

“You won’t hurt me, Koo,” you reassured him, earning another groan from the man falling apart under your touch. He twitched in your hold, and you stuck your tongue out again to run it along the underside of his length. 

Jungkook chanced looking down at you, only to look up at the ceiling a moment later while he muttered a strained “holy shit.” 

“C’mon baby, don’t you want to look at me,” you taunted him as your tongue played with the head of his cock, swirling around him. The low groans coming from above you let you know that he enjoyed that a lot.

“Fuck, angel, I-” Jungkook’s sentence died as a moan ripped itself from his throat when you surged back down to take all of him in again. This time you continued moving, feeling the tears in the corners of your eyes but not stopping.

It wasn’t like you’d never sucked him off like this before, seeing as it was one of your favorite activities, after all. But it was a rare occasion where Jungkook would let you take all of him in one go for fear of hurting you. So, you took these chances whenever they presented themselves, and the reward was always, always worth it.

Tears along with the water droplets from the shower were coating your face but you didn’t care. All of your focus was on Jungkook and how he was trying so hard to restrain himself above you. You watched his fists clench and unclench and you could feel himself struggle to keep his hips from moving forward so he didn’t fuck your mouth.

Yeah, you weren’t having that. You wanted him to let go, wanted him to know that it was ok, that you wanted this. You reached out to grab one of his hands and placed it in your hair, relishing in the way his fingers immediately tangled themselves into the wet strands. You pulled your mouth off of him again, but not before letting your tongue drag slowly across every inch of him.

You looked up at him again as you pumped him leisurely, waiting until he brought his gaze down to stare at you, only for him to quickly close his eyes again.

“God, I can’t look at you, like I want to, fuck do I want to, but you look so fucking good like this, I’m not gonna last-”

You always found his stammering to be cute and you didn’t want to torture him too much longer. Deciding that you’d teased him enough, you took all of him into your mouth again, intertwining your fingers with his unoccupied hand and giving it a squeeze. The intimacy of this particular action was always enough to get both of you going, and it had Jungkook’s hips stuttering as you sucked hard.

“Fuck, baby, always take me so good like this. Always so good for me, I love you, fuck,” he was groaning as his head hit the wall behind him again, his hold in your hair tightening the same moment you felt him buck his hips like you’d been wanting all this time.

Unfortunately, for you, whenever Jungkook would fuck your mouth, no matter how much you wanted to sit there and take it without issue, his size always proved to be too big for you to handle and it had you coughing around his length in no time. Which, of course, always made Jungkook stop what he was doing before either of you had the chance to enjoy it much.

“Fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Jungkook pulled you up while you kept coughing, brushing the wet strands of hair out of your face and looking at you with worry. You nodded and tried to reassure him, wanting to get back on your knees for him, but he held you in place.

“You don’t want me to continue,” you asked, your voice a little more hoarse than usual thanks to what your throat had just endured.

Jungkook shook his head. “No, angel, it’s not that. If you do keep going, I’ll cum in no time.” He brushed some of the water away from under your eyes, not knowing if it was tears or from the shower. He bent down to place a rough kiss on your lips, such a contrast from how his hands caressed your face.

“I want to be inside of you when that happens,” he murmured against you, gently biting down on your bottom lip and pulling a whine from you, in turn causing more wetness to gush between your legs. “If you’ll let me, of course.”

You almost laughed. “Koo, you know I’ll let you do anything at this point.”

He chuckled. “That’s a dangerous admission, baby. You sure about that?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Of course I’m sure. I’d let you do anything you want because I trust you. Because I love you,” it was your turn to kiss him this time, and it was filled with so much passion it nearly made him dizzy. Jungkook could never get tired of the feeling of your lips against his, of hearing you say that you loved him, of feeling your skin pressed against each other during times like these.

Jungkook was hooked on you and he never wanted to go back to a time where he wasn’t.

You pulled him out of his thoughts as you tugged on some of his hair, earning a delicious sounding grunt from him. You whispered your next snarky comment right by his ear.

“You gonna fuck me now, baby?”

Your bluntness had his cock quickly stirring back to life after it had softened some during your coughing incident. He growled low and dark as he started placing love bites on your collarbone.

“Sure you don’t want me to return the favor first, angel?��� He was marking up your skin while he asked this, so you almost didn’t realize what he was asking specifically but then it dawned on you.

“As much I love seeing you with your head between my legs,” you responded, tugging on his hair again, “I’d rather have you fuck me up against this wall.”

He moaned against your collarbone, the action vibrating your skin. He pulled off of you and brought your lips to his in a filthy kiss. “Your wish is my command.”

Jungkook lifted you up then by placing his hands under your ass and you got the message, wrapping your legs around him as he held you up. He turned so your back was against the wall, the only things now holding you up being his strong arms and the smooth tile behind you.

He first plunged two fingers inside you without a warning, making you let out a silent scream. He smirked at the way you clenched around his fingers, scissoring them before pulling them out again. You whined at the loss and he shushed you with a gentle kiss on your nose.

“Had to make sure you’re ready, baby.” He had one arm wrapped around your waist, trapped in between your back and the shower wall. With his now free hand, he lined himself up with your entrance, moaning when the tip of his cock was sucked in by your velvety walls.

“Fuck, you already feel so good and I’m barely in yet,” he clenched his jaw as he sank further into you inch by inch. When he finally bottomed out and was filling you up in the best way possible, you clenched around him to tease him further, making him curse.

“Watch it, angel,” he growled. “You’re gonna make it very hard for me to not blow it if you keep doing that, and I want you there with me when I do.”

“Then I guess you’d better start moving,” you teased, wrapping your arms more tightly around his neck. You knew what was coming next; Jungkook would put you exactly in your place, just like you wanted. And for that you needed to hold on tight for dear life because that man could rock you like nothing ever had before.

Jungkook grabbed your hips firmly in his hold as he fucked up into you, making sure you were held against the wall and weren’t in danger of falling down as he did so. Despite this, each thrust had you sliding more up the wall until he would bring you back down again. When he found a pace that was he was sure he could resume without either of you getting hurt, he finally let go.

To say you saw stars would be an understatement. Jungkook was fucking you with so much vigor that you weren’t just seeing stars, you were sure you were seeing entire galaxies. Your sounds kept dying out on your tongue because the feeling was so overwhelming and it had your trembling around him in no time.

“Can’t make any sounds when I’m fucking you this good, angel?” Jungkook was taunting you now and quite frankly, he was right, he was fucking you so good that you were finding it hard to say anything. And the mixture of his dirty words with the sweet pet name you adored had you clenching even tighter around him, causing him to groan loudly and grip your waist tighter.

You eventually found your voice again when Jungkook hit a certain spot inside of you, pulling an embarrassingly loud whine from your throat. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, tears almost brimming in your eyes once again at how good he felt.

“Fuck, Jungkook, feels so good, oh my God-” your praises made him twitch inside you as he moved his hands now from your waist to hold you up by cupping your ass, squeezing tightly in time with his thrusts. He was bouncing you up and down on his cock now with his strength alone, and the thought of it made your orgasm start to approach at an alarmingly fast rate.

“I love feeling you so close like this, I love you, so fucking much, shit-” Jungkook cut himself off as threw his head back to get his hair out of his face, careful not to let his balance falter or his grip slip on you. He had to do it though because his hair was keeping him from seeing your face now that you were leaning your head back against the wall, and he couldn’t have that.

“I love you, Jungkook, I’m close, fuck,” you were breathing hard as you couldn’t control your moans any longer, eyes squeezed shut and tears falling from just how much pleasure you were receiving and also how much you loved this man. Jungkook was the man you’d loved for so many years before you were finally able to call him yours. He always took care of you in every aspect of life, and you reciprocated it as best you could. And it was because of this kind of love you two had for each other that made these intimate times all the more meaningful. You were sitting here, back up against a shower wall in the arms of the man you loved while he rearranged your guts, and it was such an emotional experience alongside being a pleasurable one that the tears actually made sense.

Jungkook bit down on your shoulder and pulled you out of your reverie, making you cry out as he muffled his own sounds against your skin. You could tell by his thrusts that he was getting close now, his grunts happening more frequently and louder, echoing off the tiled shower walls. The water had already started to get cold but neither of you cared. Nothing outside of the two of you existed in this moment, and that was exactly how you liked it.

“Touch yourself for me, baby, I’m close, want you to be there with me,” Jungkook breathed out, his grip on your ass harsher now and you were sure there’d be marks tomorrow. You loved it when he marked you up, and even though he always felt slightly bad about it, you knew Jungkook loved seeing the marks, too.

You obeyed his command and reached down to rub your clit, nearly shrieking at the new wave of pleasure that washed over you. The sensations on your clit, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside of you, the way he was holding you, and all the things he was saying to you was enough to finally push you over the edge.

“Jungkook, I’m cumming, fuck-” you barely had time to utter out your warning before you were cumming hard around his length, your body spasming as he held you through it.

He sped up then, chasing his own high now, the feeling of your walls clenching around him making his eyes roll back. “Fuck, I can feel you, always so perfect for me, I’m close-”

His eyes were closed now so he didn’t see you reach for him. You pulled him closer so you could kiss him, hoping to help him along this way, swallowing down every beautiful sound he was making. “C’mon Koo, cum for me, wanna feel you fill me up.”

“Fuuuuck,” he moaned out, loud and long as that was the last thing he needed to get him there. His hips stuttered a few more times before you felt him twitch and fill you up, just like you wanted. Because gravity was working against you due to your current position, you could feel some of it dripping out of you despite Jungkook still being inside of you. The feeling made you scrunch up your nose, and the action made Jungkook laugh and mumble out ‘cute’ as he placed a kiss on the tip of your nose.

He pulled out of you carefully before moving you away from the wall so he could set you down on your feet. Your legs were a little wobbly, so he let you brace yourself against him as he helped you clean up.

The water was nearing a very uncomfortable cold temperature, but the both of you would rather endure that than leave the shower without cleaning off completely. After the workout you both had, there was nothing more you wanted than to curl up with each other in the bed.

After helping each other get clean again, and stealing quite a few kisses while doing so, Jungkook helped you out of the shower since you still didn’t trust your legs and dried you off before taking care of himself. Your heart swelled at the sight of him as it always did when he would take care of you like this.

You just hoped that you were taking care of him in all the ways he needed as well. You were certainly trying your best and would continue to do so for the rest of your life.

Once you were both snuggled into bed, him with an arm under you and you with your face nuzzling against his chest, you broke the silence first.

“If that’s what happens when I let you put paint on me, we should do that more often.”

Jungkook, who was tracing invisible patterns on your back in between your shoulder blades, laughed so hard you shook along with him. When he finally calmed down, he was able to answer you. “I totally agree. Although, I don’t think that happened because I painted you. It happened because you-” he booped you on the nose “-teased me, knowing full well what happens when you do.”

You shrugged as best you could with his arms around you. “You love it, though.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Indeed I do.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head and resumed his earlier soothing tracing of patterns on your skin. You rested your cheek against his chest and could hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. The combined actions of his hands and the steady thrum of his heartbeat was enough to have slumber calling your name in a matter of minutes.

Jungkook had something more to say, however.

“Hey,” he called gently, making you look up at him with groggy eyes. He smiled at the sight. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For helping me. For being my muse. I’ve got more ideas now about what else to create, and I don’t think I could’ve gotten there without your help.”

You smiled at him before you placed your head down again and shut your eyes once more, breathing deeply. “You would’ve eventually. That’s just how you are. Maybe I sped up the process, but you would’ve done fine.”

“Perhaps,” he sighed and looked at the ceiling. His glance travelled down to look at your nearly sleeping form, laying on him calm and unbothered. Moments like these topped his list of favorite things, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

“Goodnight, angel,” he murmured softly, not sure if you were asleep or not yet. You muttered something unintelligible back, but he knew you were telling him goodnight all the same, and it brought a smile to his face.

Jungkook wanted to tackle life with you, the good, the bad, all of it; he wanted to do it with you by his side. He wanted to make sure every day of your life from here on out was filled with happiness and love and everything you deserved in the world, just as you wanted to do the same for him. He knew you’d do anything for him, and he’d do anything for you.

Only for you.

[savevsfacemelt]

Post-game Musings - Scum & Villainy

Hi, yes, I know it's been like a year since our last entry. Life is... complex these days. Nobody trusts anybody now, and we're all very tired.

But a lack of blog entries doesn't mean I haven't been running games; it just means I've stopped writing and reporting on session writeups that no-one bothered to read. It's a new paradigm, people - evolve or die.

And speaking of dying, let's look at the Scum & Villainy game I've been running all year! No-one died, that was a lie to support a segue, I have no regrets.

What's Scum & Villainy? It's a science-fiction game based on Blades in the Dark, in which the characters are freelance criminals (or at least crime-adjacent-independent-contractors) flying their spaceship around a setting that's a bit Star Wars, a bit Firefly, a bit many other media properties and doing heists & odd jobs.

What do I have to say about Scum & Villainy after 9 months of play? A few things, actually.

--

Scum & Villainy is a pretty good RPG. Not perfect, but pretty good! It takes the Blades in the Dark formula and mechanics and does a solid job of translating them to the sci-fi genre. The best bit of new design is adding a floating pool of extra dice ('gambits') for improving rolls, along with unique ways for different playbooks to use them. The weakest parts are that the spaceship-improvement minigame isn't as engaging or useful as the turf-claiming minigame in Blades, and that the Heat mechanic becomes a bit toothless when the party can just fly to another star system where they aren't wanted. But those qualms aside, the setting is fun and full of things to do, the rules work well and everyone had a good time.

It can take some getting used to, though. Some of my players weren't that conversant with non-D&D/trad-style games, and it took a little time to adjust to how S&V allocates narrative control vs mechanics. Downtime tends to be loose and narrative in trad games, but it's codified and mechanised in S&V; meanwhile, S&V uses equipment mostly as fictional positioning rather than giving it mechanical heft like in D&D. The biggest adjustment might be just the approach to dice-rolling & action, though. Modern D&D play tends to involve lots of low-stakes, low-impact dice rolls, little moments for players to grab attention when success and failure are both fun and largely meaningless. In S&V, almost every roll has the potential to break bad in some way, so you only want to roll when necessary, and to find those spotlight moments some other way. It's also an adjustment as a GM - learning when to call for a roll, rather than just say yes/no to things, is a key skill and one I'm still honing.

Pacing is as pacing does. Both Blades and S&V try to minimise player planning and push fast-paced play. My group would have none of it. They absolutely wanted to spend time (even complete sessions) talking about plans and contingencies, and to take their time before, after and during jobs. At first I felt the urge to push back against this, and ask them to keep things moving, but it was quickly obvious that they enjoyed the planning process, even if it wasn't really necessary, and preferred a slower pace overall. And that's fine! That's fun! That's a sign that the game needed to adapt to the players, not the other way around! So I leaned into it by fleshing out interactions with NPCs, and setting downtime scenes that moved slowly but had plenty of texture/flavour, and everyone seemed happy with that.

Telling smaller stories still takes work. I'm trying to move away from big campaign arcs (like in 13th Age) and towards more episodic, player-directed games and plots. S&V's play style promotes self-contained missions, and has tables for generating them, and those let me create multiple missions and let players choose between them. But these small stories sometimes needed more work to flesh out and bring to life than bigger stories, not despite but because of their self-contained nature. The prepared elements for a large arc (situations, NPCs, images etc.) can often be used multiple times as that arc returns to those points, while small stories each have their own bespoke set. A small story may only need half the elements of an arc - but if you run 5 of them, that's 2.5 the amount of overall prep needed for the big story! I could have made this easier by not doing things like finding images for all the factions, locations, spaceships I might potentially use, but of course I didn't do that. Maybe in the next game. (But probably not.)

I miss rolling dice. Like Monster of the Week before it, Scum & Villainy is a game where GMs use their own judgement within a structured framework to decide on outcomes and consequences. And that's good! That's fun! But after a couple of years of such play, I miss the unpredictability and mechanical engagement that comes from playing my own half of the game, you know? The messy uncertainty of mechanics can keep GMs invested in play outcomes in a way that clean-but-predictable diceless decision-making doesn't. Well, for me at least anyway. Time to try something different.

--

We wrapped up Scum & Villainy with what felt like a satisfying end to a season; we may come back to it later, we may not. Time will tell.

What's on the cards for 2023? Right now I'm trying to assemble a group to play Lancer, which has all the GM-facing-mechanical goodness I've been craving, and I'm also running a (slightly intermittent) game of Heart, which lets me put mechanical weight on GMing decisions even if I'm not the one engaging with them. Plus it's weird and ridiculous and I love it.

I've also been thinking of running some of the many quickstarts and game demos I've collected over the years. They'll certainly help with refocusing onto episodic play and smaller stories, if only due to changing story and game every couple of weeks.

Let's find out in 2023. Here's hoping we make it there.

[sio-writes]

My first bit of writing for this blog, based off this post:

The Cruise

*****

The massive cruise ship cut through the waves like a hot knife through butter, all power and majesty rolled into one massive metal hull. You watch the sunset, a mixture of yellow, red, and the slightest hint of purple as it lit up the sky and turned the water into liquid gold.

It would be gorgeous if you didn't feel like a trash fire.

Really, this was your own fault. You should've seen it coming. Your fiancee--ex-fiancee--didn't even have any vows prepared. He'd waited until you finished the poem that you spent three months perfecting, then just said "ditto." That was Red Flag #387.

So now you're here. Alone. Surrounded by nothing but couples because this was a Couple's Honeymoon Cruise that your stupid ex-finacee booked and you couldn't get the deposit back.

You're torn out of your skulking by a loud pair behind you, laughing at a joke as they walk by. And maybe you're just bitter, but their happiness makes you want to throw up. All day you've been bombarded with couples; laughing, talking, bickering, smooching, the whole nine yards. You can't tell if you want to throw yourself overboard or cry or both.

Your watch beeps a reminder and you double check the time. Yep, 6:30. You have a reservation for two at tonight's dinner show, and you want to get there early. Besides, who did you have to wait on? Yourself? You try to ignore everyone as you head to the lower decks of the ship, but with such narrow corridors, it's a tough feat. You pass a couple necking in the stairway and you simultaneously cringe and feel a twist in your heart at the sight. That should be you getting lucky, instead all you have is your hand and the cruise's shitty wifi.

You make it to the show room without incident, but in a worse mood than before. You're pissed off, really sad, and also kind of horny, a weird combination to say the least. You already forgot what the menu for tonight is going to be, but you don't have much of an appetite anyway. You probably won't even make it through the appetizer. At least the drinks were paid for, and you can have as many of those as you want.

The lights dim and just as you hear the orchestra warming up, someone gently clears their throat behind you.

"Is this seat taken?"

It's probably someone who wants to take the chair, so without looking you wave them off and think nothing of it. But you hear scuffling and the sound of the chair scraping across the floor. You turn in your seat and see a large moth, sitting right behind you.

"Is this okay?" He's large in stature but very soft spoken. "I can move if--"

"No no, you're okay," you say. "No one's sitting here."

His large, feathered eyebrows pull down into a frown. "You're by yourself?"

"Not by choice," you say. You give him the Sparknotes version of your predicament, glossing over minor details.

Mystery Moth tilts his head sympathetically. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

You shrug. "I guess I'm glad it happened early and not, you know, three years into our marriage."

"Forgive me for saying this, but whoever gave you up is a huge jerk."

You bark out a laugh, earning you several stares, but he smiles at you so it's worth it.

He extends his hand. "My name is Aidan."

"Pleasure to meet you," you say with a hearty shake. You expect his hand to be rough, but it's actually quite soft.

You want to ask Aiden if he's here with anyone, but would that be too forward? This is a Couples Cruise, so chances are he has someone. Either way, you could always use a friend. Yeah, you're totally fine with that.

"What about you, Aiden, are you here with anyone?" Perfect segue, very smooth.

He shakes his head and you ignore the small bubbles of hope that pop under your skin.

"I was supposed to meet a friend here but they cancelled at the last minute."

You frown. "That's kinda shitty."

He shrugs. "It was a family emergency."

Oops. "Ah, less shitty."

"We forgot to reserve a table for tonight's show, and you were the first person I asked."

"Oh?" You try not to smile at that. Could moths see in the dark? Didn't they have, like, night vision or something? You hide your grin behind your hand just in case.

"Mhm," he continues. "I'm glad I ran into you."

You want to talk to Aiden more, but the band starts the opening number. This show is one you've been wanting to catch, all the crew members on the boat say it's The Best.

The curtain opens and you're instantly lost in the theatrics. They have everything: fire, water, gymnastics, people in the air, people bending in ways you didn't think a person could bend. You hardly notice the waiters bringing out your meal until Aiden leans forward to whisper in your ear.

"Is it alright if I eat this jerk's dinner?"

You laugh again in spite of yourself. "Go for it."

Your stomach growls at the mention of food, and you rip your eyes away from the show in order to scarf down a few bites. It's not the most elegant you've ever been, but no one is here to judge you.

At intermission, the lights go up and it's acceptable to talk again.

"What're you doing tomorrow?" You ask incredibly casually.

"I have no particular plans," he says, and despite you glaring down at your food you hear the smile in his voice.

"I was gonna check out the water slides tomorrow if you wanna come."

"That sounds perfect."

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

🧥 & 🍎 for October themes asks pls ❤️

🧥 warm coat: share a happy or fuzzy scene from your wip!

Here's a scene in Seventh Virtue where Foster & Harrison "break in" to a library after-hours. This library is very fancy! Also, Harrison slanders my one true love, poetry, in this excerpt. I'm as shocked as anyone else! Also, the range of Feeding Habits Harrison to Seventh Virtue Harrison astounds me.

Funnily enough, Foster does find drinks. Not far from the army of chaise lounges is a small beverage cart armed with a kettle and dozens of flavoured tea and hot chocolates, some too ridiculous for Harrison to imagine tasting like Peach Cheesecake and Pinecone.

“What in the fuck is pinecone tea?” he asks as Foster passes him a boring cup of earl grey.

“I don’t want to know.” Foster stretches out on one of the chairs across from Harrison, balancing a stack of books in one hand and his own mug of tea in the next.

“What’ve you got there, Einstein?”

“Rooibos. Rich in antioxidants, great for inflammation, low in caffeine—”

“No, genius,” Harrison says, and points to the stack of multicoloured books. “Your summer reading list over there.”

Foster rests his cup on the table between the clump of chairs and sits up. First, he holds up an older looking volume, the green cover worn and bilgy. “Encyclopedia of Herbs, Trees, and Flowers,” he says, and Harrison groans. “What’s the issue? We could be here for a while—maybe I want to help the Petersons garden.”

“I don’t think they need your help,” Harrison says, recalling the garden he’d noticed rimming the library. Blooms he’s only ever seen in pictures overwhelmed the building’s red brick.

Foster rests the encyclopedia onto the table and holds up the next one. “The Essential Neruda. For when I want to laugh, cry, and pine at the same time.”

“Poets disgust me,” Harrison says, already bored.

“Harrison.”

“What? Nothing against this Neruda dude, but who gives a shit about pretty words? Get to the point.”

*raise your hand if you give a shit about pretty words*

🍎 apple: let’s talk about friendship in your wip. do you have any favorite friend/platonic dynamics? any friendships gone sour?

This is the perfect segue! Foster and Harrison are so hilarious to write, but something I love about them in SV is that I actually get to write them again. For several years, Foster wasn’t really part of the series anymore, and was a character I couldn’t even remember to write because the series had gotten so serious and he didn’t really have a place (except when he’s very briefly mentioned in Feeding Habits, where their relationship has funnily enough, gone sour). They’ve been best friends since forever, and love each other very, very deeply. They also make fun of each other, as noted above!

Another dynamic I LOVE is Reeve and Harrison. Reeve and Harrison together are just an absolute disaster. I love it. Literally zero critical thinking skills! Literally no care for consequence! Together, they destruct, and it’s kind of amazing. They also deeply understand each other in a way that is kind of otherworldly. They’ve always been my favourite pairing because of how fiercely protective they are over each other! My faves <3

[spitdrunken]

It's Soft! And good golly miss Molly do I have words for you to read.

First, don't worry about taking too long to answer asks, especially from me. It's your blog and you can post on it at your leisure! I'm sure my fellow anonymous perverts agree! Time spent on words is between you and your commissioners.

Speaking of! No need to worry that I wouldn't like "someone to hold", I LOVED it! Oh spitdrunken it was just lovely. Emmet was the perfect amount of ornery and rude: not so much as to make him unlikable but just enough of a little shit because that is HIS brother and how dare Emmet be expected to share?! But also, he's clearly hurting from all the time traveling/amnesia nonsense because it was hard on him! It would be hard on anyone.

And the date! Reader-kun and Emmet in the cramped amusement park train is comedy gold. And we get to see Emmet's sweet side too, he may be mad at Reader-kun right now, but he won't let them get hurt or sick. Safety first! The two of them talking things out in the ferris wheel was great, it's nice and sweet and is a wonderful foundation for Emmet allowing Reader-kun to fuck his brains out.

Which segues wonderfully into the next section of my review: the smut! Fuck yeah, the porn was fantastic! I completely and utterly LOVED Ingo recounting his and Emmet's second first time to Reader-kun, in great detail. Imagining how shaky and aroused Ingo's voice must have been doing all that, all while being so submissive and desperate *swoons* I am weak. I also really like how Reader-kun is willing to fuck Emmet at this point in their relationship because, well, same. He may be being a brat, but he's hot and I want to make him the filling in a Subway Boss sandwich! I want those twinks obliterated!

Ahem. Anyway, the main event! Threeway on the couch! I love it all so much, how it's all coming full circle with the previous tension on the couch but now the tension is being resolved, Emmet's nervous little confession because he doesn't want Reader-kun involved if he only likes Ingo, "Make me listen" god what I wouldn't give to do that!, and Emmet now wanting Reader-kun's attention too! Ingo describing Emmet's face! And then Emmet being a horny beast who demands more! It's all so good, it's perfect! And then the ending, LOL. You snooze you lose boys!

All in all, I thought it was a fantastic fic. Well worth the wait! I'll wait until you post this ask to send in my additional thoughts on my scenario, just to keep myself from spamming you and to give others the space in your inbox that they deserve. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!

hiiii soft!!!!!! i saw the absolute wall of text you left me and got so happy <333!!! and thank you for being so understanding, i really appreciate it <33!!

I'm so glad that Emmet was the perfect amount of rude :D!! One of the things that worried me the most was making Emmet just 'mean' enough that it shows how Reader could've been bothered, but not actually enough that no one can root for him LMAO And I'm glad it worked for you!! He was definitely just really hurt by his brother leaving.

The train scene was HONESTLY one of my favourite parts to write HAHA I came up with it after seeing a very ugly children's train online and just had to add it in. I also felt the ferris wheel scene was just necessary for them to kind of built a bridge between each other, so, exactly!!

'i want those twin(k)s obliterated'!!!!! LITERALLY ME. Soft we have the same brain because Ingo was sooo desperate and nervous telling all of that and it's soso good!!!!

The nervous little confession was something I just HAD to add in because I wanted there to be a moment where Emmet was finally more vulnerable and honest with himself <33 And Emmet just being slightly jealous for Reader's attention as well is just,, the icing on top of that HAHA

I'm sooo happy with all of your praise, thank you very much!!!! I'm not sure I'm expressing it well but I genuinely appreciate it <3

[longeyelashedtragedy]

all or nothing episode 5: stream of consciousness comments

-oh boy...NOT READY

-edu and the january transfer window...how we all feel lol

-that side of me that loves...legal proceedings and shit (when reading “true crime” stuff in the past my fav part was always the trial) finds this stuff about the auba dilemma really interesting

-y’all work with mikel why can’t you say his name right omg

-edu being like WARNING: talking to mikel about this issue will be Dangerous Proceed With Caution 

-man this all is just. Uncomfortable to watch

-mikel arteta eyebrows queen of north london

-mikel drops his first “fucking” of the episode

-granit staring at him so Intently whenever he talks 🥺

-eddie nketiah episode??? omg fuck yes i love this for us

-oh gosh nottingham forest....here comes the dressing room....wait shit granit wasn’t even there bc of covid so we’ll never get to see how he reacted to that (in person)

-FFF I FORGOT THIS IS WHEN NUNO COMES OFF IN THE 1ST HALF

-omg “if i lose a duel i get upset”...at one point he just straight up shrieked i swear what demon lives inside of this man

-charlie patino is like what did i get myself into

-god i just wanna hug all of them....i Love them so much

-LMAO emile going to nando’s bc his mom isn’t home ajkdf;akldf

-the way every scene mikel and this tim lewis guy have together is like an evil mastermind scene...and he sucks up to mikel so much “my relationship with mikel isn’t transactional” yeah ok sure

-OMG just got a clip of mikel saying his own name that kind of thing is Important (*it sounds really cute when he says it lmao)

-wait what is this a granit episode all of a sudden?

-granit laughing happily: “i’m one of the oldest already!  and i’m still 28!”

-i SWEAR when granit smiles and laughs the world is literally ok again!!! he is a GIFT!

- “people think i’m very aggressive, because of my game”

-jfc whenever i see him mouthing “fuck off” in that clip i get [redacted]

-OMG GRANIT TELLING THESE FANS HARASSING HIM TO SHUT UP JADKFLKADF;AKF god why didn’t u make me granit

-”not one of us as kids start football because of the money.  you start football because you love it”

-beautiful shots of granit omg ffffff god i wish amazon let you fuckin screenshot

-ah, and this segues right into liverpool lol

-granit being mini manager in the dressing room

-let’s stop and reflect on how PERFECT xhakarteta is as a couple they were made for each other tyvm i’m having sO many emotions and Feelings

-granit sad and alone and upset in the dressing room after kicking diogo jota...oh my whole heart i love one man. i know we saw this in the trailer but y’all it’s beautiful and heartbreaking

-laca and baby gabi coming off the pitch holding hands...my HEART

-oh oh oh they show mikel going over to hug sad granit before he leaves the dressing room....hgjskgjsjsg it was G rated but it says it all

-mikel asking the staff how to pronounce “goosebumps” lmao

-his nice dressing room talks are so sweet and heartfelt

-ayo i don’t need these fans’ shitty opinions on granit...keep it to Yourselves

-kt and rob coming into the canteen all hyped up!!!!!  i love them!!! i hope someone takes a video of them dancing pls

-ben white and aaron content!...omg seeing that gabon scored....sigh

-this scene of everyone teasing granit about his card....his bde in this is INSANE and it’s also kinda serving deki vibes for me god i’m having such like Envy and Feelings

-OMG WAIT ARE WE GOING TO HIS HOUSE NOW OMG

-OMG HE JUST SAID SHPIRTI IM TO AYANA I AM DYING AND SCREAMING

-his kids are so cute and happy the family life vibes are SOLID

-yo we get to hear leonita speak?!! she has a really nice voice (vanja vibes) and i like what she’s saying about granit

-THIS WAS AMAZING IT’S EVERYTHING I’M DYING AJDKF;LAKDFDF

-back to auba drama...sigh

-SIR put your fucking eyelashes AWAY sos 911

-DUBAI TIME

- “in spain they call it casa pepe...it means pepe’s house he can do whatever he fucking wants.” ...mikel there’s no way that’s a thing but can we all just start saying “casa pepe” now

-mikel praising granit :’))) whose Slutty Dubai Arms are in all their glory

-mikel Yelling at granit on the pitch omggggg...

-he’s losing his voice again and the dude goes “your voice is fucking terrible” jakd;akdlfdf drag him

-LMAO barca dicking around is anyone surprised

-they literally got the deal done ONE MINUTE before the deadline??? i’d say “that was fake for tv” but this is arsenal football club after all

-wow that episode was...wow

-the last one left to watch is going to be a WHOPPER cause it has us going to mikel’s house? it’s shorter than the others but like. do i have the ability to process that rn

-damn guys just w Ow this episode was doing the most

[365days365movies]

March 21, 2021: Orlando (1992)

Tilda Swinton...confuses me.

Like, in a good way. Because Tilda may be the most versatile actor working today. I mean, look at the goddamn filmography, and you’ll see what I’ve mean. I’ve seen Tilda Swinton in a lot, surprisingly, and I don’t think anything I’ve seen was bad. For example, I am an ARDENT defender in the portrayal of the Ancient One in the MCU.

I understand the controversy here, but I actually think this is excellent casting. Especially considering...being comic book-accurate would NOT have been a good idea with this role, if we’re trying to AVOID controversy. But Tilda Swinton FUCKING KILLED IT in this role, and I will always be happy for this choice.

Let’s see, there’s Jadis in the Narnia films, as shown at the top, there’s Snowpiercer, as Mason (an amazing character, and an acting job that Swinton disappears into), Moonrise Kingdom as Social Services, The Grand Budapest Hotel as Madame D., and Gabriel in Constantine. Which is a good segue to the next talking point...

Gabriel is pointedly androgynous, and honestly, Tilda Swinton kind of is as well. You may have noticed that I haven’t used any pronouns in referencing to Tilda Swinton, entirely out of respect. Gonna be a little hard to keep up with, so I’ll be using she/her from here on out, only because those are the pronouns that Swinton’s most recently promoted for herself. She’s also referred to herself as queer of some variety, as well as being famously gender non-conforming.

Which is fitting, given that a lot of that public image began with today’s movie, one of her first big roles. I’ll be revisiting Swinton in the independent movie scene in a couple of months, but this may be a good introduction. Instead of spoiling anything off the bat, I’m gonna jump right in. And so, I present: Orlando. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin with a young man named, well, Orlando (Tilda Swinton), a young man with a feminine appearance and a good upbringing. His name means power land and property, but all he really wants is company. He writes and rests by a tree in the day, but falls asleep by mistake. When he wakes up, he runs back to where he’s meant to be, with a tribute to Queen Elizabeth I (Quentin Crisp) playing in the background. And that’s a REAL song, by the way, actually sung in the 1600s for Elizabeth! Very neat.

A title screen flashes, reading “1600: Death”, and we see where Orlando is meant to be. He speaks poetry for the Queen and her court, but is interrupted by the aged queen, who asks whether or not his poem is appropriate for her presence, as the poem is about youth, and Queen Elizabeth is not that. Orlando’s father (John Bott), who is serving as host to Elizabeth, intervenes on his behalf. However, it doesn’t seem to matter to the Queen, as she invites Orlando back to England to serve as her “favourite”. He accepts, and soon lives alongside the Queen. She quickly promises Orlando much land and property, for him and his heirs, but on one condition: that he does not fade, wither, or grow old. 

The same wish cannot be applied to Elizabeth herself, nor to his father, as both grow old and die soon afterwards. Fast forward 10 years, and it’s a cold winter in England. Visiting Orlando’s vast estate is a woman from Russia, named Sasha (Charlotte Valandrey), and Orlando quickly falls for her. This is to the dismay of Euphrosne (Anna Healy), his fiancée? I’m not sure, to be honest, but they’re definitely involved, and she’s definitely upset.

However, this is also a scandal for everybody else as well, not just because Orlando’s already engaged, but also because Sasha is Russian, during a particularly poor economic period for the country. Euphrosne angrily throws his ring back at him, and Orlando speaks directly to the audience, telling us that a man must follow his heart. The two go to his private cottage, and they start to make out, when Orlando suddenly comes down with intense melancholy.

Because this is such great happiness that he feels, but this happiness too will one day end. Which is, like, the most emo-shit I’ve ever heard, but I’m kinda here for it. And yet, that happiness does indeed end, when Sasha is forced to return to Russia, despite Orlando’s pleading for her to stay. He asks her to meet him at London Bridge, so that they may elope together.

Later, Orlando happens upon a performance of Othello, noting to us that it’s a terrific play. This is as the death of Othello is being played out, so that’s probably foreshadowing, right? Anyway, Orlando leads two horses through the thick fog, waiting for Sasha to arrive and come away with him. But as a storm sets in, there is no sign of Sasha. And Orlando stands there in the rain. Said rain, though, soon becomes ice, underneath his feet, floating away down the river, along with his hopes of a happy future with Sasha. The treachery of women, according to Orlando.

Over the next week, Orlando languishes in his bed, asleep for the entire time. Increasingly more servants are brought up to try and rouse him, only for him to remain asleep, no matter what they do. But then, he wakes up, noting that he can only conjure three words to describe women, none of them worth explaining.

Forty years later, and the title screen cries “Poetry”! And Orlando looks exactly the same. Guess he really took that whole “don’t grow old” thing from Elizabeth to heart, huh? He speaks to a poet, Nick Greene (Heathcote Williams), and gushes about his poetry, which is a pursuit that he loves greatly. But Nick is...well, Nick is kind of a dick, to be honest. Orlando wants only to share his love and his poetry with him, but Nick’s only in it for the money. Not a true artist, and he mocks Orlando’s poetry, which he reads only after Orlando offers him money. And then, he writes a poem mocking Orlando further, which angers Orlando...but doesn’t stop the money flowing to Nick.

Orlando moves onto his next pursuit, in 1700, in the next section: Politics. Now over 100 years old, Orlando becomes an ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, and travels to Constantinople. There, he receives a somewhat rough and awkward greeting, which Orlando is not helping with. They share some Turkish coffee, Orlando has trouble drinking that Turkish coffee, they drink a LOT of Turkish coffee, and they toast to multiple things, including the “beauty of women, and the joys of love.” Orlando pauses at this, and reveals that he is still suffering quite a bit of heartbreak. His Turkish friend, the Khan (Lothaire Bluteau), bonds with him about this.

After 10 years, Orlando has fully retreated into life as a Turkish man. This is interrupted by a British emissary, sent to bring him news of a new appointment and power from the Queen. However, something goes wrong when the Khan arrives and takes Orlando hostage. The city is under attack, and the Khan asks Orlando if he will help against their enemies. Orlando agrees, and gives them arms, and heads to help himself at the walls. There, he witnesses a man dying, and it shakes him greatly. And just like before, he sleeps it off for seven days. And then...she wakes up.

YUP. WHAT.

Yeah, um, Orlando is now a woman. Like she says: “Same person, just a different sex.” Which is a very interesting premise, not gonna lie. Looks like Orlando now has to live life as a woman, which is going to be...difficult in 1700s Turkey. Or England. Or anywhere. Or any time.

Still, Orlando approaches this new life with aplomb, and without really any needed caution. Parading in some awesome dresses, she greets fellow nobility as the lady Orlando. However, the emissary from earlier, Archduke Harry (John Wood), begins to recognize her as similar to the lord Orlando.

In speaking with a group of poets, however, Orlando learns EXACTLY what men think of women in this society, and it’s not even a little bit good. She leaves, enraged and embarrassed. Harry also speaks with her, assuming that she was a woman all along. However, Orlando’s in EVEN MORE shit, as she’s quickly served with papers that are an attempt to take away all of her property and titles, because Lord Orlando is legally dead, and Lady Orlando is a woman, which one of them says is basically the same thing. FUCKIN’ YIKES, BRUV.

Ah, but Harry tries to help by proposing to her ON THE FUCKIN’ SPOT. He believed that Orlando was perfect as both genders, and is happy to do it. However, Orlando understandably refuses, and after Harry tells her that she will die as a spinster, alone and dispossessed, she runs into a nearby hedge maze. And while in the hedge maze, time passes, and her outfit changes to match the period accordingly.

Forward 140 years now! The year is 1850, and a new chapter begins: Sex.

And as she runs from the maze, she runs into who else...but Shelmerdine (Billy Zane), a man who...Shelmerdine? SHELMERDINE? What fuckin’ witch cursed his entirely family line to have THAT name? That’s the kind of family that was named AFTER a bridge, not the other way around! WHAT KINDA NAME IS FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE?

Well, I’ve looked it up now, and it is apparently a real name. So, if any Shelmerdines are reading this...I mean, I’m sorry, but also, FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE? OK, back to Shelmerdine. He’s twisted his ankle falling off his horse, and Orlando is now taking care of him. She reveals, in the process, that she’s about to lose everything. The reasons for that aren’t quite said, but Shelmerdine offers a place at his side, back to the great free land of America.

After having a conversation about the roles of men and women in the world (which is interesting given the context of the film in general), the two fulfill the chapter’s imperative. And we never see the act, but we do get some interesting angles and hand-holding. But the next morning, this post-coital reverie is interrupted by the lawyers from the Queen. The lawsuits have been settled, and Orlando has been legally declared a woman, meaning that unless she has a son, all of her possessions will be lost.

Shelmerdine (I swear, every time I say that name, a fairy gets chlamydia) leaves as well, with the southwest wind. As he heads back to America to fight for freedom, Orlando stands in the rain, facing an uncertain future, and broken fully by the politics of the time period.

And then...the sound of planes overhead. Looks like a new time period once again, heading into the periods of World Wars, and Orlando is now...heavily pregnant. OH. FUCK. Welcome to the next chapter: Birth.

We jump past the period of World War II, and to the 1990s! Orlando is presenting a book to a publisher, and he believes that the book will sell. With her young daughter in tow, she finally goes back to her old mansion, now finally able to go back after losing it 100 years prior. The narration from the beginning repeats, recontextualized for Orlando’s new life. She is over 400 years old, and finally, FINALLY...she is happy.

And that’s Orlando! I think I loved it. Real talk, this was a fascinating movie, and I’m into it. I’m very much into it. I’m sure there’s more to be gleaned from this film, but I’m glad I watched it regardless. More in the Review, though! See you there!

[grogunotfound]

My New Year’s Resolution | A Quackity x Reader Imagine

Word Count: 1.0K

A/N: it was my bday two days ago (so this is highkey for me lmaooo)!! but omfg quackity is only a YEAR OLDER THAN ME....also, happy new year’s (:

---

You were visiting your best friend, Karl Jacobs, in North Carolina. The two of you were close internet friends, having met one fateful night on Omegle. Out of all the creeps and pervs, you managed to get paired up with this absolute buffoon and you clicked with one another almost immediately.

Flash forward a couple years later, Karl invited you over to celebrate the New Years with some of his other friends—this wasn’t your first time visiting or even meeting Karl in person, but you were excited nevertheless. You arrived two days before New Year’s Eve to spend time with Karl and hang out before the celebration of 2021. You two caught up despite talking every single day because, somehow, you and Karl always had something to talk about.

That’s what made you love Karl—the way it feels like the two of you were practically platonic soulmates with or without the distance. And, as much as the two of you have encountered some romantic mistakes, you both still saw each other as best friends. All the blood, sweat, and tears in this friendship have been proven paid off many many times considering how many core memories you and Karl share.

So, you weren’t angry when Karl had to begrudgingly supervise his underage cousin due to a holiday family vacation mix-up. You were having a good time with him before the final moment of this year, and he also mentioned another long distance internet friend that would need company for the segue into the new year. Of course, you laughed because you thought it was another dumb Karl joke, but he was being serious.

The day of New Year’s Eve, you were invited to Karl’s place two hours early to meet the friend that was staying with him that day. And, wow... It was basically love at first sight. His friend, Alex, seemed so shy while meeting you; however, you knew that if he was good friends with Karl, then he would be as crazy as Karl.

And that suspicion was proven true once the party really started. Karl was right. You two got along well and even instantly clicked after Alex warmed up to you an hour into the party. Both of you were outsiders in comparison to Karl’s other friends, so you spent your time tucked away in a corner. It was nice, and you were quite exhausted from the trip—so hanging out with a new friend was the perfect New Year’s Eve adventure.

It was getting close to midnight...15 minutes to be exact. The party was still lively, but you and Alex (or his media handle, Quackity) were starting to dwindle down in the quietest room in the house.

“So, what is your big New Year’s resolution?” You asked him, staring at the muted TV that was broadcasting a live news channel in NYC.

Alex looked off to the side to think. The two of you were sitting on a couch that faced a TV, but you noticed how you both were subconsciously scooting closer together with each profound question being asked.

“I want to start facing my fears.” He decided. You nodded in response, completely agreeing with this goal.

“Like what?” You prompted him to talk more, a covert way of trying to get closer to him physically and mentally.

He laughed, a sound that always caught you off guard in a good way, “It’s my turn to ask a question.” You jokingly rolled your eyes and turned your full attention towards him by rotating your body so you were sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce and facing your “interviewer.” “So,” he began, “what is your New Year’s resolution?”

“Easy.” You explained your personal goal for the upcoming year. Alex smiled, demonstrating how intently he was listening. The sincerity behind his grin made you blush because it felt like he truly believed in you and your motivations. The only other person that you connected to on this level was Karl. You were beginning to see how you and Alex were compatible...friendship-wise.

“Well, I think you’ll be able to do it.” He leaned back into the couch cushion, almost getting engulfed by how plush the pillow was. You giggled when he rapidly escape the couch, exaggerating the deep breaths he was taking.

“Thanks. You too,” you held out your hand as a sort of friendly gesture that you hoped would communicate ‘I-believe-in-you-too-and-I-would-hug-you-right-now-but-we’re-not-that-close’ in a...subtle way. He gladly reciprocated the gesture, but neither of you let go of the other’s hand when the game of 21 Questions continued.

Before you knew it, you could hear Karl calling everyone into the main room as one minute remained on the countdown clock. Alex excitingly took your hand to bring you to where Karl was, sacrificing his last insightful question and leaving you in a shock position.

Karl smirked at the two of you standing beside him, glowing with child-like joy. He wrapped you two into a huge bear hug, teasing you and Alex simultaneously. You managed to break out of his grip when people starting counting down from ten...nine...eight...

“I have one last question!” Alex turned to you, “it’s about my New Year’s resolution.” You nodded, frantically glancing at the TV to watch the ball drop in the next 5 seconds---what was so important that he couldn’t wait to ask until January 1st? “Can I kiss you?”

Without a second thought and with a subconscious breath of relief, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself closer to him---so close you could feel his hot breath hitting your lips. “Yes,” you whispered and leaned your head forward to press your lips to his. His own pair responded just as readily. After a brief minute of the two of you embracing each other’s needy presence, you shakily pulled away to take a breath.

Alex bit his lip and looked off to the side as in disbelief. He placed a tender finger to his lips to find concrete evidence that he confronted his fear of rejection and kissed the most beautiful person he has ever seen. “Wow,” he pursed his lips to hide the stubborn smile.

“Yeah,” you agreed.

“Ew.” You heard someone say off to the side. You and Alex turned towards the source and caught sight of Karl running away from you two, knowing he was in trouble for being, well...himself.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Closets & Wendy’s.

“Last day of Pride!”

Dean projects himself onto Cas’s bed, ending up sprawled on his front, with an arm slung over Cas’s lap.

On receiving no more greeting than Cas’s hand landing in his hair and starting to card through it, he lifts his face from the comforter, props himself up on his elbows - chin tucked in a palm - and stares at his boyfriend.

Cas looks upset.

The corners of his lips tilt passively downwards, eyebrows carrying most of the weight of his frown.

“Cas?” Dean asks, neutrally - already regretting his overhyped entrance.

“I’m sorry- I don't feel -”

Words fade out, and Cas pauses. Then he turns to actually look at Dean, the sadness seeped into his eyes, and Dean doesn’t waste a moment getting up, knee-waddling over into Cas’s space and pulling him close.

Cas comes easily, planting his head on Dean’s shoulder, and exhaling a tired breath when Dean runs a hand over his back.

“What are you feeling?” Dean asks, after a beat, now trying to soothe Cas’s tense shoulders, rubbing gently over the cotton. Cas leans into his touch.

About three years of therapy, and nearly six years of being roommates - undergrads, and then actual friggin’ grad school - with Cas, basically Dean’s personal mascot for healthy communication, has led him to definitely know that it’s always a better alternative to talk about what you are going through, instead of what you aren’t.

(Or, you know, what you think you should be, just because your dumb, insensitive boyfriend who’s been obsessed with Pride since finally coming out and-slash-or best-friending up with Charlie Bradbury, is. And rather loudly, at that, because Dean Winchester’s a goddamn idiot.)

“Disappointment.” Cas says, morosely, but almost as soon as he hears his own words, he rephrases. “Uh. I’m the disappointment.”

“Well, did you secretly sneak out and mark yourself absent for the entire semester in all your 4.0 GPA classes when I wasn’t looking?”

“Dean.”

“Fine, 3.7.” Dean throws back. “Big friggin’ deal, nerd.” Cas lets out a huff of breath which almost resembles a chuckle, and Dean squeezes his arm around Cas. “You know that would’ve totally been a four if I’d been less distracting.”

“Interesting.” Cas corrects.

“Hot.” Dean throws back, just because he knows it’ll make Cas crinkle into one of his fond ‘what-do-I-do-with-you’ smiles. It does. 

“Perfect.” And Cas throws in a sigh, as if to solidify his point, and leans in to nuzzle Dean’s neck in a way so intensely Cas, that if anyone else had ever tried it, he’d either end up being tickled to death, or running the hell out of dodge. 

“We’re on you right now, Cheesy McCheesington.” Dean smiles back, and goes on. 

He’s not willing to let Cas close up into a ball of repressed emotions with happy only on the outside. That’s way more Dean’s thing - or rather, used to be. He knows he’s bettered his coping mechanisms. Mostly because every part of his life involves Cas now, and anything with Cas is good. 

They’ve grown a lot together - grown through a lot as well, and this is how they’ve done it. By talking through, the Castiel way. It still throws Dean off sometimes, how far they’ve gotten.

So when Cas whines in protest into Dean’s shirt, he knows exactly how to turn it into a side-hug. One of those, where they end up staring at each other from a three-inch distance.

Staring hard, Dean says it. “You’re the farthest thing from a disappointment, Cas. To anyone.”

The lecturers all adored him, their friends made it a point to keep proclaiming their affection out loud (thank god for Charlie Bradbury and co.), and Dean doesn’t think he could be more proud of Cas if he tried. 

He was a goddamn wonder.

He’d gone from a lanky, private-schooled, what’s-a-Star-War schmuck to one of Dean’s favorite people in the world. He was hilarious, and a genius, and kind. He’d grown into his shoulders, and into a stubbly kind of an age, and into this awesome, intelligent, pancake-making man of Dean’s dreams, and into his bee obsessions and organizational neatness - and complete, total perfection. 

(Dean needs him, appreciates him, and (not that subtly - to his credit), loves him in a forever sort of way.)

But before Dean’s properly began to remind Cas of any of it, he’s interrupted. 

“I’m disappointing me, Dean.”

There’s resignation in his tone, and evidence in every word he says. 

“June’s over. Again. And for all the marching with painted cheeks and the megaphones? For all the parades, and the celebrations of our identities, the togetherness, the being proud of being ourselves?” Cas lets out, bitterly, and Dean realizes he knows where Cas is going with this. “And I still haven’t come out to my family.”

Dean waits, sure that Cas isn’t finished. 

“How have I not done it yet?” Cas hisses, and it almost startles him - he’s swapped the upset for angry. It’s rarer. “I’ve known since I was a teenager - and we’ll have been together for five years in three months, Dean, and I just - I cannot believe I still can’t do it.”

He sounds helpless, and Dean wants to jump in, but he needs Cas to get the words out first. 

“What’s the matter with me? Am I not brave enough, or strong enough - or am I still hanging onto the hope that they’ll suddenly become better human beings and not disown me when I tell them?” Cas scoffs. 

He’s pissed at himself. 

“Maybe I still lack, as you say, free will.”

Dean has to step in at that. “That was six years ago, and you know I wouldn’t say it now.”

“Why not?” Cas challenges. “I couldn’t tell them then, either. I clearly haven’t changed.”

“Other things, Cas.” Dean says, and grits his teeth. This isn’t supposed to be them yelling. Cas is frustrated, and Dean’s listening - he can’t be frustrated back at him for the way he expresses it. “Other things have changed.”

Cas gives him a look, but Dean holds his end of it until it crumbles. Cas changes his offense. Mellows down - probably when he sees Dean’s restraint. “This is important to me. I want to do it. Then why can’t I tell them?”

He’s asking himself, but he’s also asking the only person who knows him as well as he knows himself, yet he’s also not asking at all - simultaneously, it’s also rhetorical.

Dean licks his lips. 

“Whatever be the answer to that, Cas, first things first. This doesn’t imply you’re not proud enough.” 

Cas looks away.

“Or, for that matter, not panromantic or demisexual enough.” 

Sigh. Shuffle, shift. And then he looks back up at Dean. The tears weren’t there before. “How do you know, Dean?”

“‘Cause I know this doesn’t decide that.”

“Why not?” Cas says, quietly.

“‘Cause,” He repeats. “How queer you are isn’t measured on a scale of how soon you come out once you know.” He pauses, judges the air. “It usually isn’t measured at all, unless we’re talking about a magical thing known as the Kinsey Scale.”

He judged right. 

Cas coughs, and it’s definitely to disguise a reluctant snicker.

“And you know, even if it were measured on the weird first thing,” Dean adds, serious again. “There’d totally be a different clause, and a separate key, mind you, for the people with douchebag families.”

“They prefer conservative, I think.” Cas says, smally, after an entire minute, as if he’d actually been rerunning Dean’s speech in his head for that long.

Dean shrugs.

Cas almost smiles. He’s calmed down.

“The strange thing is that it makes no sense.” He begins, heavy, albeit less severe on himself. “I’m twenty six. We co-own this apartment, and we pay our bills. We’re completely independent.” It never stops sounding surreal. That’s for another time. “Mother calls me on third Sundays, Gabriel sends Christmas cards. Other than that, I only spend Thanksgiving lunches with them, each year more horrible than the last. I know I wouldn’t miss any of them, nor regret being written out of the will. Or have my Novak cemetery spot passed onto Michael’s oldest. Or the gardener.” 

Dean snorts at that. The Novaks are truly something else. 

“There is no reason I can’t just come out. I just -” Cas cuts into his own sentence with a sigh, one signifying that he’s finally done speaking, and he reclaims Dean’s shoulder once more.

What’s important right now, is to make him feel better. A resolution to this isn’t within grasp at the moment, and Cas sounds drained. Dean - well, he does what he does best. He segues. 

“Wait.” Cas lifts his head. “You didn’t actually say you’re not out, did you?”

Cas squints at him.

“Dude. Being out doesn’t just mean telling your family. And getting subjected to toxicity and trauma, by means of it.” Dean points out, earnest. By that logic, courtesy of a long-dead mom, and a relatively-shorter-dead dad, he’s in the closet as well. “Hell, you put your hand in my back pocket at KFC, yesterday.”

“Oh.” Cas blinks. 

Dean grins, and Cas’s surprise makes it easy to do so. “You bet my publicly grabbed ass, it counts.”

Cas knows it counts. He knows everything that counts. But he indulges himself, and he indulges Dean - his bad mood slowly dissipating. “What else?” 

“You kissed me at Wendy’s last week.” Dean informs him, eyebrows raised. “Held my hand for a really long time in a Starbucks queue on Saturday. Oh, and all the gay bars count, buddy. Especially the bits where we grind on the dance floor, and then I blow you in the stall.” 

Cas opens his mouth to protest that has only happened once, but Dean meets his eyes with a pointed look. He’s got to bring it up.

“Every time I’ve ever taken you to a steak joint counts too. ‘Cause trust me, those are always dates, whether you know it or not.”

“Long drives are a date to you.” Cas deadpans. 

“Yeah, and Baby will never say you’re not out.” Dean throws back, and Cas actually makes it to a smile this time. Dean’s left feeling accomplished. (And sort of dazed, because it’s going to take a lot more than six years for him to get used to Cas being so easily beautiful, and being it right next to him.)

“You said you loved me for the first time at the Roadhouse.” Cas says.

Dean blushes. 

“And then you ran away before I could react, got really drunk and karaoke’d I’m Too Sexy on the stage, and passed out on my lap right as I tried to say it back to you.”

This is definitely not his favorite story, but it always lights Cas up, and that’s all that matters, really - so he rolls his eyes half-heartedly and Cas smiles wider.

Silence prevails for a moment.

“Look.” Dean ends up being the one to break it. Cas listens, hanging onto each word. “You’re the only one who knows why you can’t do it, okay? My best guess would be an internalized decision to avoid conflict. Maybe you call your old therapist tomorrow - like, I dunno, a cameo from Castiel, unresolved coming-out issues sorta thing. Of course, we can talk about it too. Get six cheeseburgers and twelve beers, and figure things out on your own. But it’s up to you.” Cas exhales into a little smile. “All I know is, it doesn’t matter to anyone that you haven’t told your family, if it doesn’t matter to you. 

Cas nods, a couple of times, and there’s the barest hint of tears again, but this time doesn’t make Dean want to punch God. 

It makes him want to hug Cas, so he goes for it. 

“Even if you were in the closet, Cas? I’d say the same.” Dean adds, as an afterthought, about a minute into a hug which doesn’t seem to be nearing an end. Not really. No one minds, so there’s that. “This community, this month - everything about Pride is about all of us, and if Charlie’s ever called me handmaiden, trust me she’s said this a million times. It means everyone. Includes people in the closet, every bit as those who’re out.”

Cas hums in agreement, and tilts his head against Dean’s.

“In any case,” Dean teases. “Your family’s over in Illinois, anyways. Here, where it counts? You’re as out as you can be.”

“I could kiss you in more Wendy’s.” Cas contemplates, because he’s awesome like that.

“What has Burger King ever done to you?”

Dean listens to him considering it with a thoughtful note, and mutters a “Dork.” It helps keep him grounded for he feels like he’s floating right now - ‘cause there’s something about the way Cas holds onto him. Tighter.

Like somehow, even after all this time, they managed to fall a little more in love today. 

And somehow, they’ll keep doing it forever.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Witch”

Happy Saturday, everyone! Well, it's perhaps happier provided you didn't watch today’s episode lol. Getting through these 18 minutes felt like watching an extended version of a CinemaSins vid. I heard a little 'ding!' every time something nonsensical, contradictory, or just downright stupid happened. My mind became a pinball machine. 

Which, in the interest of being fair as opposed to just snarky, only matters if you're looking for something resembling emotional depth in this show. RWBY, for all its faults, is enjoyable as a mindless spectacle. It's when you expect — or simply hope — for anything more that this very fragile house of cards comes tumbling down.

If it’s not clear already, today’s recap contains copious amounts of salt. Fair warning. 

With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s dive in. Episode nine is titled "Witch," which is fitting since many members of our group go toe-to-toe against Salem herself. The narrative issues inherent in having your heroes fighting their final boss years before the series is meant to end might have been avoided if it weren't for Oscar's ridiculous, sacrificial attack... but we'll get to that.

We open with a sweeping shot of the Atlas battle, as hundreds of dead soldiers segue into endless grimm. Hold onto that image for a bit. At the end of this carnage is, of course, the mouth of the whale. We cut to Jaune, Ren, and Yang already safely inside.

"Well," says Yang, "that was harrowing."

I'm on the fence about this choice. On the one hand, yes, it's good that RWBY knows it can skip over extraneous scenes. We have NINE characters to keep track of and develop, fourteen if you count Ozpin, Maria, Winter, Ironwood, and now Whitley. Plus villains. There simply isn't time to show every insignificant moment... but was this insignificant? Obviously finding Oscar and escaping Salem's clutches is the true hurdle of this mission, but that doesn't mean getting through an entire army of grimm is in any way a cake walk. I'd be more willing to ignore this time skip if it weren't likewise presented as such a challenge for Winter's team. They have to "clear a path" to the whale, but our trio got there unscathed and unnoticed? The obvious implication here is that Ren just masked them the whole way — supported by his aura breaking later in the episode — but it still feels like we missed an important chunk of this task.

I'm nit-picking though. As said, I’m straddling the fence on this one and, given that, I'm inclined to settle on a, "Good job, RWBY. You're keeping the writing tight," if only because I don't have much else to praise about this episode. Throw the poor, struggling show a bone lol.

Now that they're inside, they realize they haven't the slightest idea how they'll find Oscar. “Like finding a needle in a giant…whale… why did we think this was a good idea?!” Because you and your friends are idiots who no longer bother to think about a situation before throwing yourself straight into it? This isn't me being mean to Yang, she literally says as much later on. Our heroes no longer get by on intellect, strategy, and skill, but rather plot armor and a staggering number of coincidences. For example, Ren.

Yang: Wow, it sure is lucky for us that on our way to this incredibly dangerous mission Ren inexplicably developed a new part of his semblance. Now he can not only mask peoples' emotions, see the true emotions that someone is feeling, pull thoughts out of their head about what they believe about a situation, but can also track someone across long distances through their emotions alone. Even that doesn't actually help us find Oscar, we just got lucky again when, in this maze of a whale, he ran right into us!

Me: So what were you going to do if this meta-world stopped giving you the most contrived solutions in Remnant history?

Yang: Die gloriously, I guess.

What Yang actually says is, "Okay. That's new!" and they enter the literal belly of the beast wielding a shield of convenience.

Jaune is also being awkward again because remember, RWBY doesn't know when to incorporate humor and when to treat a situation seriously. He reminds Ren not to "drain [himself]," he'll help him, and it's clear the scene is hinting at their earlier fight. There's a lot to unpack there, but I want to save it for the second conversation.

For now, we cut to Oscar, curled up in his cell, repeating stories to comfort himself. Yeah that's fine. I could use a broken heart right before Valentine's Day.

“She brushed off her bumps and bruises, for nothing hurt worse than the loneliness in her chest." It's a line from The Girl Who Fell Through the World, which Ozpin recognizes given that he's "lived through" a fair number of fairy tales. He immediately asks how Oscar is holding up — because he's a caring person! — and Oscar admits that he never understood why the girl of the tale was sad upon reaching home again. Now he does: she wasn't the same person anymore. I don't think the fact that Oscar has had both a metaphorical fall — leaving his farm to 'fall' into this war — and a literal one — falling through Atlas to unlock his magic — is lost on anyone. This is a nice allusion to our themes. Yang's speech to Salem later on? That’s something else entirely. 

Storytelling done, Ozpin says he thinks "this plan to divide might have run its course” and it's time to try and find a way to leave. I'm sorry, I love my farm boy, but what plan? He didn't do anything. At least nothing that could remotely be termed an intellectual plot. Oscar convinced Ozpin to try and turn Hazel by telling him the world would end under Salem's rule and the only reason that worked is because the story decided to chuck out Hazel's entire character. You know, the one that hates Ozpin above all others, wants the world remade into a non-Academy horror show, can't understand that people make their own choices, is terrified of Salem, and has no reason to trust a prisoner he's currently torturing. Oscar's "plan" hinged on his writers erasing a great deal of work to build a new story that fits said “plan.” He didn't even get Emerald involved, she just — again, conveniently — eavesdropped outside their door at just the right moment.

To be clear, I'm not against a story being written to work in the hero's favor. Of course things are going to be convenient in a happy-ending tale. Someone manages to hold out just as long as they need to, a sword is lying just within reach, you, yes, happen to run into the one person you're desperate to find. This kind of stuff is reassuring, telling its audiences that sometimes things do work out for the best. It's enjoyable... but only provided the hero's entire success doesn't hinge on fate being shockingly kind to them. That's what RWBY has become. A world where Salem doesn't attack Mantle, Amity Tower is suddenly finished, the group can charge into any deadly situation they want to and bank on destiny twisting around itself to ensure they come out of it safely. A hero finding a convenient weapon nearby to defeat their enemy with is only reassuring after we've seen them implement a brilliant attack, struggle, nearly win, but then suddenly be faced with failure, necessitating that little push from coincidence. They earned it. The hero doesn't get to run in blindly and find a Defeat Bad Guy plot point gift wrapped for them at the first sign of trouble. They just die.

RWBY used to be a better written show because that's precisely Pyrrha's story. She charged a Maiden unprepared, without a single plan or hope for success, and she died. That's what happens in a dangerous, internally consistent world, but RWBY has since lost the second half of that formula.

I'm harping on this because this entire episode is built on that foundation of coincidence, something that shouldn't be happening at all, but especially not when you're pitting the heroes against Salem herself.

So yeah, it just gets worse from here.

Back to Oscar. Without the cane magic is the only weapon they have at their disposal, but he's reluctant to use it because every time he does, they merge more quickly. 

They... do? 

Okay, there are three major problems with this announcement:

I'm pretty sure we've only seen Oscar use magic once: creating that barrier to survive the fall through Atlas. That was the point of his near death experience, to unlock something that had previously been unavailable to him. Yet if he's only used it once, why is he so sure that it hurries the merge along? What's this "every time" business? This confusion could have easily been avoided if the show had just let Oscar use his magic this volume, tackling some other questions and gaps in the process. Let him use it to fight off the grimm in Mantle, giving him the opportunity to admit to at least Jaune, Ren, and Yang that Ozpin is back. He could have used some magic against the Hound with Ozpin's encouragement, answering the question of why he was entirely silent while the two of them got their ass beat. Give us a moment where Oscar uses his magic against Hazel, nearly escaping in the process, but is captured again at the last moment. Basically, his line makes it sound like magic has been this ongoing resource with an established downside when... it hasn’t.

Coinciding with all of the above, how is it that Oscar can suddenly use magic at will? Yeah, yeah, he unlocked it during the fall, but really? You open up the magic gates and from then on out it's as natural as breathing? This is the same issue with Ruby's silver eyes. The story gives these characters incredible powers, but never has them talking about how they work, let alone training them. They just exist, perfect in execution, as soon as the plot needs them. (See: the final shot of this episode.) At least Weiss had to practice her summoning for multiple volumes.

Finally, the question of how Oscar instinctively knows how to use magic could easily be answered with, "Well, he's kind of Ozpin now," but that would require the story to actually explain what the merge is. "We merge faster," Oscar says, but what does that mean? The Ozpin and Oscar we see in this scene are fundamentally indistinguishable from the Ozpin and Oscar who existed at his aunt's house, four whole years ago. They're still separate people, with one controlling the body and the other existing as a consciousness he can talk to. Nothing has changed. The show keeps insisting that Oscar is going through this deep and painful arc of losing himself to Ozpin... despite the fact that he has yet to lose a single bit of Oscar-ness. Has he changed? Well of course, but anyone going through these experiences is going to change. Remove the "merge" aspect and Oscar's confidence or power up is likewise indistinguishable from any of the other characters' developments. Nora is becoming more of an individual this volume. Ren is becoming more powerful in his semblance. Neither have an Ozpin to force that change, it just happens on its own. So what separates Oscar from every other character going through a formative experience? When is “I’m not the same person anymore” due to unnatural magic vs. just growing up? 

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy our boy is getting more screen time — and that the cast is actually being kind to him now — but overall his arc is objectively terrible. He bought some clothes, told Ironwood he was as bad as Salem, told Hazel how to access the Relic, and then asked him not to be a villain anymore. Somehow these things are presented as significant moments of growth while the real questions surrounding his merge go unanswered.

“Honestly, I think you’re doing just fine on your own," Ozpin tells him, but he's not. God knows our boy is trying, but this is a moment where Ozpin's self-hatred (and the story's insistence that the younger generation is intrinsically better than the older) is blinding him to the situation. Oscar has made terrible decisions lately, in as much as he's been able to decide anything at all, and now he's rejecting escaping captivity because he's terrified of a concept he doesn't even understand yet. None of that is fine. Reassurance is one thing, but painting this situation as Oscar making better choices than he would with Ozpin's input is insane. He literally just decided to keep them in Salem's clutches indefinitely because something something magic is scary, I guess. Oscar doesn't need a, 'You're better than me' speech, he needs a reality check so they don't both die. Remember back in Volume 5 when Oscar, a brave but idiotic 14 year old, insisted on fighting someone entirely out of his league and Ozpin was like,

then saved him from getting his head crushed in like a cantaloupe? We need more of that. Our teenage heroes need guidance, but because RWBY keeps insisting that every adult they encounter is corrupt or incompetent, that hasn't happened in three volumes. They're just aloud to decide things like, “Let's tell our captor the Relic's password because UwU ~trust~” and then the story bends over backwards to make that work. Instead we could, you know, let characters learn that they can be wrong. 

The snow scene was the beginning, but RWBY really went off the rails the day it let Qrow warn the group against stealing from and attacking an allied city, only for them to call him an idiot for doubting them. Now, Ozpin doesn't even get to warn Oscar about stupid decisions, he just agrees with them, reassuring and passive. Never mind the complication of whether Ozpin is even emotionally capable of providing guidance after they labeled him the worst thing to ever happen to them. 

Why does RWBY keep ruining my faves 😔

Anyway, we’ve got to stay on track. Oscar has decided to just lie there but, luckily for him, Hazel's redemption — I use that term so loosely — has begun. He drags Oscar out of his cell before we cut to Winter. 

She's leading a portion of Ironwood's army, trying to get things ready for when the bomb arrives. Neon and Flynt are a part of her team, sharing scared glances and trying to remain optimistic. It's a legitimately hard-hitting moment, striking that balance between horror and hope. Funny though, I wonder that RWBYJNOR would think of their friends fighting for evil Ironwood...

Marrow, continuing the tradition of insisting that our heroes be both adults and kids simultaneously, looks sadly at the soldiers heading into battle and goes, "But... they're just kids." I would like to remind everyone reading that Ruby is younger than them. Anyone who thinks that these teenagers shouldn't be fighting grimm — the thing they have been training to do as their professional career, during an unprecedented attack on their home — should not simultaneously be looking to the girl who is two years younger as his savior. (Something that, while not overt yet, is very much where Marrow is heading as he continually doubts the Ace Ops and looks to RWBY's group as his new, moral leaders.) I'm glad that, for once, this perspective is firmly called out. Elm arrives to tell him point blank that he needs to figure out his personal ethics later. It doesn't matter because there's an army of grimm out there and monsters aren't going to spare anyone, adult or child. Quit philosophizing and kill some already.

Back to Hazel where we get the doorway shot from our trailer. He's taken Oscar to the Relic, because of course he has. Do I really need to list how convenient this is too? Apparently, "the moment we move that thing, this place goes on high alert," but there’s no alarm for when Oscar is taken from his cell, they enter the Relic's room, or when they use it. What does a movement alert matter if someone can just waltz in and waste the last question themselves? Put some of those endless grimm in the room to guard it, Salem!

Just assume that I am, at any given point in this episode, letting out the longest sigh my lungs are physically capable of.

Emerald shows up, demonstrating both the convenience of everyone arriving when they need to, and the very real danger that Salem herself could come in and discover what they're up to. Hazel has Oscar summon Jinn, only to immediately say that “Actually, I think all my questions are answered now.”

I'm sorry, how does this answer any of Hazel's questions? His driving question was not, "Is the Relic actually a magical object capable of doing magical things?" but rather "Are you telling me the truth about Salem's plans to summon the Gods and destroy all of Remnant in her quest to finally die, thereby changing who I'm going to support in this war?" Seeing a naked, blue djinn does not answer that question. 

Hazel's "redemption" is non-existent. He — we — learned about Salem's death wish despite how that contradicts previous lore, then he trusted Ozpin despite that contradicting his entire character, now he joins the heroes because, literally, he sees Jinn floating there. It’s bad enough that Hazel goes from clear villain to sacrificial hero in a matter of in-world hours, but we don’t even get a reason for why that change occurred. 

Oh, there's also this:

So Jinn doesn't come out of her lamp unless someone intends to ask a question, but does it for Ruby because she's special, yet still reiterates that this won't happen again. Then Oscar summons her without intending to ask a question, she comes out anyway, confirms that none of them seek knowledge from her, and happily pops back inside her lamp because eh, it’s whatever.

If RWBY had any courage the three of them would be cursed now for toying with a powerful, magical object. Remember the days when Jinn was a little terrifying because it felt like she was warping her answers and we had no idea what she might do to someone who used her carelessly? When she felt like a djinn? Good times.

Or better times, at least. 

So Good Guy Hazel and Good Gal Emerald promise to get Oscar out. Never mind all the horror they caused, the people they killed, and that for Hazel, at least, this defection is coming out of nowhere. 

Anyone remember that Emerald orchestrated Penny's death? No? Just me?

As they leave it turns out Neo was camouflaged against the wall, because she was also precisely where she needed to be. Does everyone just periodically pop into the Relic room to see what’s going on? At least this time it's not working in the heroes' favor. Remember when I said it's beyond idiotic for Oscar to just hand out the Relic information to known enemies currently holding him captive and torturing him?

Yeeeeaah.

So Neo's got the Lamp. Funny how all of this could have been avoided if Ruby had just put it in the vault like she came to Atlas to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We return to our trio where Jaune and Ren need to rest because their aura is giving out. Good! These guys fought a battle, fought Neo, fought more grimm, fought the Hound, traipsed through the tundra, presumably fought through more grimm to get to the whale, and have been using both their semblances to look for Oscar. It's about time their reserves started to falter.

Jaune decides to scout ahead a bit, leaving Yang and Ren to talk about nothing of importance. I mean that seriously. Remember a few days ago when I spoke about how, if the snow conversation does come back up, Ren's points would be entirely ignored for a nonsensical “I’m glad we’re friends” speech? Remember how I also spoke about how every emotional beat now is entirely generic and you could replace any character with another and not a single thing would change? Yeah. This is both those arguments in one. Nothing is said about the points Ren made. His problems with how the group has been acting lately and the very real, very deadly consequences it has had are flat out ignored. We went from

"But these aren't the kinds of decisions we should be making because we have no idea what we're doing!"

to

"Forward, no matter what!"

in a matter of hours, with precisely zero insight into how Ren went from one perspective to the exact opposite. Kind of like Hazel. Because see, RWBY doesn't write arcs, it just writes one thing until it decides to switch it up for something else, with the opposite idea presented as a “resolution” or a “twist.” Our creators writes scenes they know the fandom is begging for without considering how to get a character to that place, let alone how to get them out of it. That's all Ren's speech was, the equivalent of moral fan service. Here's a glimpse of actual character depth and a morally gray situation... now forget it ever happened because we're back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Instead of working through the laundry list of issues Ren raised, Ren instead accepts Jaune's aura help — something they've been doing since Argus — and tells Yang it's okay to be scared. These moments are meaningless and, as said, could have been between anyone in our cast. Ren could have told Nora she doesn't have to use jokes to cover up that she's scared. Jaune could have reminded Ruby that she can depend on him. Yang could have tried to keep Blake and Weiss' hopes up. This scenes ignores the individuality of the characters, like the fact that they just fought over very different world views, to instead favor any dime-a-dozen moment of support. The number of times this volume has rejected the conflict and resolution the group needs for bland, generic reassurances staggering.

Also, apparently Jaune isn't scared at all? I don't think that's as good a thing as Ren seems to think... 

Then Jaune immediately rounds the corner, terrified lol.

One of the seer grimm is on its way and he tells Ren to mask them. Apparently he had been masking them before — one of the reasons he's so tired now, trying to do two things at once — but it's only here that they go black and white again. Ren manages to keep it up for a little while, but his aura breaks before the seer passes and they're spotted.

Hark! A consequence!

That was well done. It makes sense and it adds to the stakes. We've seen the insane amount of fighting the group has done since Volume 7, we just established that they're at their breaking point, and then Ren's aura fails him right when he needs it the most. Add this to the miniscule pile of things that were well done this episode. 

Salem runs into Emerald and Hazel, the former of which is acting very suspicious when asked if he's made any headway with Oscar. The seer's alarm interrupts them though and... okay. Was I the only one who cackled during this moment? Between Salem's voice acting and the fact that she just yeets herself down the hallway, it came across as really funny to me. 

Either way, it is a bad situation. Our trio is trying to figure out what to do, to which Yang responds, "Do what we do best… charge blindly into danger!!”

Ren's aura is broken. Jaune barely has any left and it’s unlikely he could heal right now even if Ren had any aura to amplify. If Ren takes a single hit anywhere important he is dead.

Me, on my knees, surrounded by the ashes of the Hound, the last bit of serious storytelling we had: "For the love of God, the kingdom is on fire and simultaneously dying of cold. There's a grimm army decimating hundreds outside. Half their group is missing and they're wandering lost inside a devil whale, about to have the most powerful being Remnant has ever known personally try to kill them — can we please have their attitudes reflect that?"

The answer, in case you were wondering, is no.

Back to the bomb. Whatever scientists were given this task have completed it and Marrow watches as it's flown out towards the whale. "Come on, Juan" he whispers and I'm all, "Juan?" Apparently it's a callback to last volume when Marrow couldn't remember Jaune's actual name, but it took me hopping onto the RWBY wiki to remember that. 

As death via explosion inches closer, the trio runs into Hazel and Emerald. Turns out though that Hazel is really Oscar, disguised through Emerald's semblance. Nice trick! Jaune immediately drops both weapons to hug Oscar and, while that's nice and all, it's also the stupidest thing he could possible do in enemy territory. Also, Oscar has been beaten up by the Hound, tortured with magic, and likewise beaten bloody by Hazel. I was hoping for a tender hug like the one Nora gave him, not a giant squeeze for more comedy purposes. It just feels like RWBY has no idea how to manage the tone of this volume, let alone the torture of a child...

There's the obligatory, "Why should we trust you?" from Yang regarding Emerald joining the team, to which Ren responds, "Because she's scared, just like us."

That doesn't prove anything. Literally everyone is scared right now. There is a war going on. I really cannot emphasize enough how RWBY throws out Deep™ sounding lines that are, upon inspection, absolutely nonsensical. Nora reminding Penny that there are different parts to her personhood, Hazel saying that all his questions have been answered, Ren announcing that Emerald is scared... it's all worthless chatter that has no bearing on their problems: How do I keep from being hacked? How do I know you're telling the truth? How do we know you're trustworthy after you spent years trying to kill us? But of course, because it's RWBY, Ren's announcement is treated as some sort of secret truth that everyone accepts. Emerald joins up.

As they head for an exit we return to Marrow who, frankly, is getting on my last nerve. I know the fandom loves him because he's clearly leaning towards Team RWBY, but does anyone actually listen to what he says? He starts yelling at Winter for sending in the bomb because the trio might still be alive in there, despite:

Seeing for himself the hundreds of soldiers that have fallen trying to keep Atlas safe

Knowing and hearing again from Winter that the only way to stop this carnage is to take out the whale. Given more time, the whole city falls

Sadly announcing to the world that children shouldn't have to fight in a battle, rather than just joining the fray and helping to keep those kids safe

How does Marrow think those kids are going to be able to stop fighting? How does he think he'll get a city to return to? It's no wonder that he's drawn to Ruby because both characters stand around twiddling their thumbs, mourning that things are bad, and blaming others for imperfect solutions rather than doing something to make the situation better. Marrow's disgust at Winter over the bomb is precisely the same as Ruby's disgust at Ironwood over Mantle: how dare you not have a plan that results in both victory for us and zero sacrifices? They want perfection which, yes, is an admirable trait, but their problem is they refuse to do anything until that perfection appears. They’re paralyzed, a trait that’s particularly dangerous when your story insists that perfection will never appear: it’s not a fairy tale. So they just continue to get mad at others for the fact that they live in an unfair world. You want that perfect solution? Think it up yourself. Otherwise, stand aside and let those coming up with something do what they can to make things better. 

Marrow goes so far as to drag Weiss into things, trying to guilt Winter with the knowledge that she'll have to relate the death of her sister's friends back to her. Winter, because she's a badass who isn't in denial over the situation, tells him that yes, she will shoulder that responsibility. To Marrow's credit he backs off then, but man. RWBY has legitimate moral questions here — when is holding out for a few worth risking the many? — but they go about exploring it in the most frustrating way possible. I personally have no respect for the guy who wants to announce that Children In War Is Bad instead of, you know, using the power he currently has to protect those kids already neck deep in a battle. 

Because John Mulaney remains relevant:

"There shouldn't be a horse in the hospital :( "

"We're WELL PAST THAT."

Marrow is the one going, "There shouldn't be kids in a war :( We shouldn't have to kill a few to save the whole kingdom :( " and everyone around him is like, "No shit, dude! But this is the hand we were dealt! You going to help us, or what?"

Literally all of these characters could have been so much more than what they currently are.

Except Winter. She's doing great.

Now for the final scene. Our group nearly manages to escape the whale, but is incapacitated by some sort of screechy power that Salem employs. 

She contorts her body, stretching out her arms to snag Emerald, and the others have a brief, but intense skirmish. Jaune manages to block a blast of magic aimed at Ren with his shield — nice — and Yang dots Salem's face with a bunch of bombs before blowing her sky-high — double nice. Oscar shoots out some magic of his own because, yeah, I guess he can just do that now? It really feels like it came out of nowhere after eight episodes of being the punching bag. 

Of course, Salem immediately reforms. She traps the group with grimm arms that come out of the whale, interrogating Ozpin about why he bothers to keep coming back. There's a very sad answer there of, "I don't," referring to his lack of choice in reincarnating to fight her.

Yang interrupts their little tet-a-tet to throw the question back in Salem's face, calling her out on her choices. A great idea but, as always, execution: "because something bad happened to you once upon a time? No one gets a fairy tale ending."

I’m sorry, but that dialogue had me cringing. Like I said before, way too on the nose. There's keeping with the fairy tale theme, and then there's shoving the viewer's face in it. More of Oscar's musings on how he relates to the protagonists of fairy tales, blurring the lines between storytelling and reality, which in turn encourages the viewer to consider how they see themselves in the RWBY cast. Less... whatever this is.

Yang goes on to talk about how many people Salem has taken from her, which upon reflection makes a certain amount of sense if you toss in all the people who are here, but changed somehow due to Salem's influence, as well as acquaintances who died as a result of her meddling: Raven is scared off, Tai suffers as a result, Pyrrha dies, Penny dies, Yang loses her arm and her school. I think the dialogue could have been revised to reflect that better though because what Yang implies is that Salem has killed countless of her loved ones, yet what she says is, "Summer Rose. My mom." Honestly, for the few seconds this exchange was happening my thoughts weren't even on Summer. Yang calls Salem out for killing loved ones and my brain went, "Pyrrha??"

That's how little they've done with Yang and Summer. I know in the past I've argued that RWBY has a "better late than never" situation going on, that I would praise them for making the right writing choices even if they arrive years too late... but now that we're here, I find that it's a hard problem to overlook. Summer is Yang's mom? When's the last time we heard that? Volume 2? Whenever the conversation with Blake was. Since then Yang has called Raven "Mom," focused on that emotional connection (or lack thereof), was excluded from the conversation with Qrow, comforted Ruby after she was blindsided by Salem's taunt, and otherwise hasn't mentioned Summer at all. There is no foundation for this accusation except a few lines about getting cookies as a child and the fact that we're tossing references in now makes me worried that we'll indeed get a grimm!Summer reveal. Better remind the audience that she exists before the twist arrives! Honestly, as much as a part of me wants to praise RWBY for trying to get things back on track, moments like this just ring hollow now. They waited years and now it’s too late. It doesn't help that this is the episode where we shrug off Ren's speech. What will Yang's cutting admission amount to based on this trend? Probably nothing. Summer will become Yang’s mom again in another six seasons. 

Salem, obviously, doesn't care. The real Hazel arrives and she orders him to take Oscar back to his cell. Instead, he gives him his cane with a whispered, "No more Gretchens, boy."

Behold, another meaningless line. Hazel hates Ozpin for "forcing" Gretchen on a mission and "getting" her killed. The whole point of his villainy is that he doesn't understand the concept of choice and that bad things can happen to good people with no one able to prevent it. Not every loss has a responsible party attached (outside of, you know, Salem/the grimm). So what is he even demanding here? No more huntsmen schools? That's what you wanted Salem for. No more "forcing" people to fight for you? Ozpin never did that in the first place. Or is it just a strange promise that no one else will die here? RWBY seems to be under the impression that they can just name drop dead family members — Summer, Gretchen — and that's that. Emotional depth created, never mind a lack of buildup or clarity. 

Then Hazel punches Salem across the room and she releases every single hero from their bonds. See the theme of this episode: convenience. Hazel shoves a whole bunch of dust crystals into his shoulders and yells that he's doing what Gretchen would have wanted, clearly sacrificing himself so that the others can escape. The battle between him and Salem is pretty decent. I enjoyed the dust vs. magic creativity and the sheer damage Salem can take before reforming. This fight really showcases how not human she is.

It does, however, bring into question Hazel's reveal about her needing an hour to heal at the longest. I mentioned how unlikely it would be that our heroes would get the chance to "kill" her multiple times, yet here we are, just a few episodes later. They got that opportunity and... does it matter? Salem's reforming doesn't appear to slow down at all, despite her head getting obliterated at least three times, so at what point does she need longer than a few seconds to heal? If this was meant to be a potential weakness the group would eventually exploit, we needed to see it here, both for that setup and to keep it consistent with Hazel's story.

Regardless, they fight and at first it looks like a pretty straight-forward sacrifice on Hazel's part, giving the group their chance to escape. Except... Oscar.

"She'll just come after us," he tells Jaune, turning away from him to fight.

I need a list for this: 

Of course she's going to come after you. This is not some shocking revelation. At no point has anyone thought that escaping the whale is the answer to all their problems, it just creates one less problem to deal with. Namely, the problem of "Our ally is captured, being tortured, and may give up important intel to the enemy. Oh, also he's about to be blown up with a bomb." Salem coming after them doesn’t matter. What matters is making her plans as difficult as possible as you work to come up with more solutions of your own. This is just a smaller version of the Ironwood conflict: “Well, Salem will just follow Atlas into the sky so it’s useless to attempt escape, or to buy ourselves time.” It’s really not. I know I’ve used this ridiculous comparison before, but if you’re ever chased by a horror movie serial killer hell-bent on your destruction and your reaction to this problem is, “Why run? He’ll just chase us. The only possible choice is to fight him with a 99% chance of our death,” then I beg you to re-evaluate things. 

What was the point of coming to rescue Oscar if he was just going to stay behind? The whale is about to be blown up by a bomb and the trio risked their lives ten times over to get to him. If I were them I would be pissed. We went through all that to get you out and now you’re refusing to leave when we have a chance? Thanks for that. 

Same with Hazel. Not that I care about the guy, but if I was sacrificing myself for others to escape I'd be pretty annoyed at them randomly deciding not to do that.

What does Oscar even think he's going to do? Kill the immortal witch? The entire point of our series is that they can’t do that (yet). 

However, if he is able to do something significant via Ozpin's magic, why didn't Ozpin do that generations ago? Somehow I don't think a younger Ozma closer to the height of his power was in a worse position to attack Salem than a tortured, aura-less kid who unlocked his magic yesterday. The more RWBY reveals about Salem, the more I go, “Okay, but why didn’t his happen [insert any number of years] ago?” 

Did Jaune actually leave? I assume he's just grabbing an airship or something before coming back to drag Oscar away, but seriously where did he go?

There's no way I can approach this scene without throwing up my hands and going, "What? WHY?" Which is a real shame because we finally get to see a bit of what the cane does and it’s... precisely what Ozpin's magic has always done? I mean, we saw that green shield five years ago and now there's a giant white beam. Okay.

If the beam just hits Salem with Generic Magic Power then there was never anything secret about the cane, it’s just, you know, Ozpin’s weapon. If the cane does something significant to hurt her we're left with the question of why it took literal generations to use it. Nothing is making sense to me and the only way I can think to salvage this scene is if Jaune runs back in, snags Oscar like a sack of potatoes, and runs out yelling about how he's clearly suffering from a concussion because what are you trying to accomplish here?

It doesn't help that this moment feels... final. Hazel has managed to hold Salem in place. Oscar has unlocked his cane and lands some mega hit right before Hazel passes out and looses his hold. Not only does this feel like a scene that should be at the end of the volume (we've still got five episodes), but also the end of the series. RWBY is building Salem into an unbeatable enemy by giving her more and more powers, and simultaneously eliminating the stakes by having our currently weakest character (in terms of exhaustion/injuries/aura/training) landing a shot like that. Why would you nerf Salem's threat level like that in the middle of a volume? Especially with a tool our group has had available from the start? If the cane does damage, maybe lead with that in the, “Here’s why we should stay and fight” office conversation. 

I assume that Oscar's hit will obliterate Salem to the point where both he and Hazel have time to escape, or he obliterates both of them (“Do it”) and that's somehow presented as a better choice than just running while Salem is captured, or the bomb will interrupt things somehow... but it's just so shoddily done. At the very least, if they were going to have Oscar refuse to let someone fight alone, have it be an actual friend he's staying to assist. Having Oscar refuse his own rescue to help Hazel has more than one problem attached to it. We can say what we want about RWBY's themes of forgiveness, but this guy was torturing him just a few hours ago while serving Remnant's version of the devil. Just let him sacrifice himself and move on.

And that's where we end. Oscar powering up, the cane getting all magic-y, and him shooting a crazy big blast that engulfs both Salem and Hazel. I can't believe how not excited I am about my farm boy doing something badass, but here we are.

Overall I think this episode was way worse than last week's. We absolutely had problems in "Dark," particularly when it came to the Hound and the group's blind devotion to Ruby, but at least those moments were cushioned by an otherwise decent episode. "Witch" felt like I was watching something closer to a parody of RWBY, one deliberately poking fun at the fandom's desires: erase all conflict for awkward silly times, your favorite villains are instantly good now, the heroes go toe-to-toe with the main antagonist because why not, throw a bunch of magic in there for good measure, and wrap it all up in some over the top "this isn't a fairy tale" lines. I can see the pieces of a much better episode here — Emerald sneaking Oscar out with her semblance, Neo snagging the relic, Flint and Neon, Hazel attacking Salem — but it simply didn't come together.

I know I said this last time, but I have no idea what we're going to do for another five episodes. Salem slowly reforming from bomb damage as the group tries to keep Penny from opening the vault? The grimm attack halted with the whale gone so Qrow can go after Ironwood? The longer this volume runs, the more I think it was a mistake for them to introduce Salem as a fightable antagonist now. RWBY doesn't know what to do with her besides have her inevitably fall in the final season, so until then she's left being stupid (Relic), passive (Mantle), or, likely, written out of the story temporarily so the heroes can turn their attention towards smaller conflicts and weaker foes. They literally can’t beat Salem yet, but they can’t focus on other problems when she’s around without coming across as negligent, so if you have to find ways to erase her to make room for that... what was the point of bringing her here in the first place? We could have established that Salem is bound to her realm and had her send the Hound and whale to attack Atlas. There, all the fun parts of the volume without her complicated presence. 

Well, the next five weeks will certainly be interesting, at the very least... 

Until next time 💜

[Ko-Fi]