#I was so close to crying that day
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*through gritted teeth, rocking back and forth* Being bad at art isn’t a moral failing. You’re not bad you’re learning. It’s okay if you’ve been drawing almost daily for four years and aren’t at the level you want to be. Look back and see how much you’ve improved. Do studies. Practise areas you’re bad at. Stop drawing only the same characters chest up in 3/4 profile view. Step out of your comfort zone. Look at tutorials. Use references. Study anatomy and colour theory and how light and shadow work. Stop making yourself upset over it. Stop hating yourself for not being good enough. Stop comparing yourself to others and getting angry over how they’re better than you. Learn to have fun while drawing. Art is supposed to be fun. Why would you do it if it’s wasn’t fun? Stop crying.
#*deep sigh* I don’t know how many more 2 a.m hysterical fits over hating my art I’ve got in me chief#I don’t know why I’m like this#usually I explain my behaviour by blaming it on childhood trauma#but my art wasn’t a trauma point#as in. I just never really showed it to my parents so they couldn’t say bad things about it even if they wanted to#well… there were those art classes with that one girl whoshe mom wouldn’t shut up about how great she was#and my mom spent tons of time with her so if I complained I’d just be compared to the girl#actually… I was so much more confident in my art before those classes#like I look back at what I posted pre April 2022 and I had absolutely no shame#wonky anatomy? post it anyway. extremely amateur colour and shading and backgrounds? who cares#and no one in those classes was mean to me#everyone was so nice and supporting#but the very first time I was brought there was when I realised that I am objectively bad at art#and don’t understand the fundamentals and am only good at drawing the same thing over and over again#I was so close to crying that day#and I kept going back and it kept getting worse#holy fuck…#I enjoyed those classes a lot#even though I was having breakdowns left and right I was mostly satisfied with the end results#(yeah because the teachers usually ended up finishing everything for you ты рукожопая бездарная тварь)#but I guess that is where my problems started#god.. I wish I never went to those now#maybe I wouldn’t be like this#maybe I’d act even half well adjusted rather than sobbing into my pilllow every time my#(no reference no practice no knowledge of anatomy colour or shading)#drawing turns out less than perfect#good fucking god how pathetic can I get#and this is like the 10th time I’m making long ass tag rant posts about the same issue#and since writing them did I attempt to fix it? practise and study and improve? no. I just keep crying#like a little whiny bitch
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the seeds 🛐
#posting for the 5 active fans in 2024 out there <3#i promised myself i wouldn't spend too much time on these sooo don't look too closely lol#far cry 5#fc5#jacob seed#faith seed#john seed#joseph seed#made the cursed observation that all the brothers are rocking nearly identical facial hair#EDIT: thank you sm for the nice tags on this i didn't expect so many people to rb and reading through ur comments has made my day 😭🫶
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mom im tired
#me if drawing pathetic sad sad roman roy was illegal#i did not mean to post this so close to mother’s day i’m crying#rubbing salt in the wound#i wanted to draw their likeness and class of 2013 roy siblings is the most sorrowful thing in the wolrd#mooooommmmmmm iiiim tiiiireeeeddddddd#succession#roman roy#succession fanart#kieran culkin#roman roy fanart#my art#reblogs are welcome
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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you know what’s absolutely terrifying???? having to cut a baby’s nails………
Katsuki has to cut your baby’s fingernails when he discovers a tiny little scratch by her eye one morning. it’s barely there, a small thing, but it’s there, marring her little face nonetheless. he frowns at her when he holds her the next morning, her dreamy eyes alert and blinking up at him, she smiles.
“Now I gotta cut yer claws down,” he mutters to her, voice quiet as to not wake your sleeping form in the bedroom. he pads throughout the house with her chubby face resting on his shoulder, her gums gnawing at his bare skin, but he doesn’t seem to mind it.
he finds himself in a conundrum though, once he realizes just how fucking��how sharp the damn clippers are. they’re tiny, lavender in color, but they’re meant to cut though the nail with such precision. and yes, he’s a pro hero, has had to adopt the title of EMT, firefighter, emergency surgeon a few times in his life when need be.
but…those people weren’t his baby girl. they weren’t this tiny and precious, and they never looked up at him with a face so similar to his, it makes his heart squeeze tight in his chest. he frowns at her again, even deeper, and this makes her hiccup a little giggle, gummy smile spreading wide.
“You’re only gonna wear mittens from here on out,” he grumbles after a while, finally daring to pick up a tiny hand that she instantly curls around his thick finger. it’s the cutest image, he thinks to himself, but he catches sight of the jagged nail, the culprit. his heart squeezes even tighter though, when he realizes that he can’t protect her from every hurt in the world, even if the hurt comes from her own hands. and the realization is an aching one, but he tells himself that he, at least, can patch her up.
you walk in minutes later, find Bakugou curled over your daughter in the rocking chair he built for her room. his tongue pokes from the corner of his mouth in concentration, his eyebrows furrowed. your daughter babbles to him the whole time, her sweet voice cooing the softest little noises that he responds back to.
“I know, I know,” he mumbles to her. “Ya don’t like baths, and don’t like your nails cut, either. What other shit do you hate, huh?” he asks, and she seemingly responds with a long, sighed out coo. it makes him smile, despite the way his hands slightly shake when he cuts the next nail. he’s terrified, of somehow hurting her even more, of cutting too close, of scratching her. but he treks on, and kisses her fat little fingers every time he clips another nail.
#I thought about this earlier and it made me WEEP#bc cutting a baby’s fingernails is a TERRIFYING and terrible experience#and if you cut too close/low and make them cry???? ohhhh just send me to hell at that point#I’ve never actually done it sjdhdjd but I’m TRAUMATIZED seeing my sister do it#and I just think he wants to be so careful and sweet with his baby but he’s terrified of hurting them even more!!!#I love him goodbye#I’m sooooo freaking sleepy tho we had such a long day doing stuff w my family and nieces#I’m BEAT!!!!!#but Christmas is in a few hours and I’m excited ^_^#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dad bkg
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trick or treat!! 👻
here’s every shane and ryan hug that exists to this day! :) have a great october 🧡🤭
#(not including side hugs cause it’s a different genre of hug and they do that every day lol.)#(or group hugs. not including those either even tho shane and ryan are always partially hugging in them <3)#also there are some in here that never get talked about (like the one at buzzfeed where they are fake crying and start hugging.)#hope you enjoy#oh also I LOVE YOUR BLOG BY THE WAY 🧡#aly answers#besties fr#can’t believe they have so many hugs now that i had to go onto the website to make this#i love that#oh and yes I consider the Santa one a hug yk close enough 😭🙏
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@saimatsu-week Day 5: Touch.
"Compassion makes people trust you. If you offer them your hand, they'll reach for it..."
#saimatsu#saimatsuweek2024#for this prompt i wanted to depict moments in canon where kaede and shuichi showed support and comfort through touch#and the last square presenting that loss....that final would be touch#CRYING CRYING CRYING CRYING#i love them so much#i might revisit this concept some day but i like how this turned out well enough!#teg's art#also jic the middle square depicts this moment that happens during the first investigation#where Kaede collapses onto the ground in tears...Shuichi offers her a hand and helps her up#there's even an interesting visual that occurs in that moment where the camera zooms in on Kaede and Shuichi once she's up#implying close proximity....I'm obsessed with that moment I genuinely wish it had a cg for it (the lifting up part specifically teehee)#AAAAND the quote is from shuichi's free time events kill me
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happy christmas eve. have some dantes who are Going Through It
og pic + no shading ver
#was gonna do a lot of things today. until i got sick and slept for most of the day#so i decided to shitpost instead lmao#i didnt put a lot of effort into the shading so dont look too closely at it pls </3#devil may cry#dante(dmc)#allyart#hes jsut like me fr
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So I started watching the 2009 Monkey King after seeing it all over my For You and GOD ITS SO CUTE.
I want to adopt Liu’er, I will wrap Wukong in a pile a blankets, LITERAL DISNEY CHILDHOOD VIBES, animation is amazing, SONGS ARE FVCKING GORGEOUS (adding the op and ed to my list) and the king is funni despite that one time he slept while his people were probably gonna be brutally k!lled.
In episode 3, I love how when the generals are speaking to Wukong and trying to teach him the rules when interacting with the king or in life on FFM, it literally is like talking to a kid.
AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON LIU’ER AND WUKONG’S FIRST MEETING THAT SH!T WAS ADORABLE.
Major Fox & The Hound vibes and I wanted to bawl my eyes out.
JUST LOOK AT THESE BABIES I CANT—
#Monkey King 2009#Mei Hou Wang#Liu Er Mihou#Sun Wukong#I KNOW ITS GONNA GO DOWNHILL SINCE IM ONLY 3 EPISODES IN AND THIS IS WHY I HVE TRUST ISSUES#Ive never been so close to crying because something was so cute#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#I’ve only had Peachbuds for a day and a half#but if anything happened to them I would k!ll everyone in this room and then myself
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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
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Digimon Adventure 02: THE BEGINNING countdown! Day 1: Daisuke and V-mon
02beginning x Digimon Survive
Something for @digimon02countdown uwu Sorry I'm still obsessed with Survive but I'm also very hyped for the movie so, why not smash them? Anyway, here have my attempt at drawing Dai and V in the Survive art style with a lazy bg of the spider lilies forest~
The next episode of Digimon Adventure 02, "THE BEGINNING" hits japanese cinemas this October 27th 2023. The gate for a new adventure opens now!
Static version below ;3
Also, this is what I mean when I say that I can't draw baby/child level Digis OTL As a V-mon oshi, I feel so ashamed that I can't draw V-mon OTL I want to cry.
#digimon02countdown#digimon#digimon adventure 02 the beginning#motomiya daisuke#v-mon#veemon#daisuke motomiya#davis motomiya#02beginning#can't believe the day is so close ;w;#I swear I'm crying ;w;#did you guys watched the special preview with target and a 'narration' for a 'next episode'?#yes it made me cry to listen 'the gate for a new adventure opens now' and now you know why I added that to the description :D
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Ooh palettes 🥰 Jasper and Faith in either Malabar squirrel or cherry pie?
@darkfire1177 — [ palette prompts ]
✨ The Unplanned Variables ✨
#at the risk of accidentally making you cry again with my word. I gotta say it#I love you jay#I am so grateful every single day that we met and became as close we did#I absolutely adore you to bits#you are one of my bestest friends and I cherish every ounce of you#you always without fail brighten my days you are always so so much fun and I can't think of anyone else I laugh harder with#I have loved every moment of being by your side since last year and I can't image not having ya around#the impact you've made on me can't be put into words#and god I am so fucking proud of you every goddamn day I am proud of you#you're incredible#thank you for being my bestie and one of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life#now enjoy some silly art of the rat bastard space girlfriends#faith and jasper truthers come and get ur fuckin FOOD#dual captains au#my art#the outer worlds#captain of the unreliable#friend oc#aly stop drawing characters at weird angles/poses that make me second guess everything challenge#if u see any of my typos. no u didn't. I'm totally sober and not crying rn
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set your calendars guys bc on the 3rd november 2035 it will be 6000 days since good omens season 1 aired. we will celebrate
#i couldn’t exactly ask you to celebrate the 6000 year anniversary so this is as close as we can get#6000 years of pining#6000 days since good omens#i will cry#good omens 2#good omens#good omens s1#good omens s2#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#ineffable divorce#crowley x aziraphale#aziraphale good omens#crowley good omens
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Unknown, Ep 11: To Grow Taller
Alright y’all, I just want to say that I am not super thrilled with how Episode 11 went. I felt like they completely obliterated the emotional build up to the change over after they did such a great job of navigating it in Episode 10.
So as much as there were some lovely images of hands, I’m not that interested in writing about it. So it is time, it is time to do the thing I should have done long ago.
It is time to write about Lili and San Pang.
Hands down my favorite part of this episode (and probably one of my favorite scenes of the series) was seeing the two of them interact, of seeing more of Lili’s inner workings, of understanding that she knows more than she lets on. I loved Yuan telling Qian that Lili is smart, and I loved the proud little smile Qian had when he heard that.
The most important scene in this episode, to me, starts with the height wall. That thing has been causing me psychic damage since episode one. It pans down to Lili. I like how long the camera lingers on her eyes. Lili has seen everything that has happened in their lives and she’s been spared from a lot of the violence, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t beared witness to it.
I was really struck by her words to San Pang:
“When we were little, Qian was always there to help us with everything we did. He would measure our height every year. I always wondered when I could grow taller than him. Then I could protect him.”
I know we have seen Lili constantly take a back seat in this story. We have seen her even acknowledge Qian’s focus on Yuan multiple times throughout the show. We don’t see her doing as much for Qian as Yuan does. She doesn’t know how to wrap up leftovers, she’s not a great cook, she doesn’t try to pay the household bills. But that’s because she loves Qian like a sister does, she’s got a secure position in the household, she’s not trying to be Qian’s partner, and it is a testament to Qian’s love for Lili that she does not know how to do some of the basic life things, because it means that she’s been so well taken care of she hasn’t been forced to learn.
There are all these little elements scattered across the series that show Qian’s love for Lili. The picture on his desk at home is of him, Yuan, and Lili at Qian’s graduation. He has the magazine she’s featured in on display. He immediately softens on his anger towards her relationship with San Pang when she asks him to go on a family vacation.
She has seen how much Qian has suffered, and she loves Qian enough to want to shield him from any more harm.
And San Pang is so lovely in this scene, with his head resting on the stair railing, a sleepy look of love on his face as he stares at Lili. I love the way San Pang smiles to himself when she tells him this. Because Qian is family to San Pang and San Pang is family to Qian. San Pang loves Qian and wants what is best for him always. And I do think there is a difference there between the soft, dreamy, comfortable expression he has when looking at the woman he loves, and the small smile that lights up his eyes at the thought of Lili loving her brother enough to want to protect him.
Lili’s face is serious, and she does not always look in San Pang’s direction when she talks:
“Even though he is a few years older than us, his hands are always covered in scars and calluses.” Lili tells the ground. It’s interesting to me to see when she is comfortable enough reviving a memory to look San Pang in the eyes because she doesn’t do so until partway through her hand cream story:
“One year, I took the hand cream my classmates gave me” she looks at San Pang “and rubbed it on his hands at midnight.”
The camera cuts to San Pang who is listening to Lili absolutely enraptured by her. And I do have to commend the show for how they have navigated Lili and San Pang’s relationship change. In very few frames, with little fanfare or flare they have made San Pang and Lili’s relationship clear, understandable, and believable. We’ve had like, two minutes of them together up through now, and all I need to believe these two will be together forever is all in the way that San Pang looks at Lili. That man is not only head over heels in love with Xiao Bao, he’s ass over tea kettle in love with her as well.
“He scolded me for it. Do you know why?”
“I do.” San Pang says with a smile. And I love that because we remember that San Pang and Qian have grown up together. San Pang has been helping take care of Qian and the rest of the family for years. You know in the way that San Pang smiles that he is remembering Qian as a young man complaining about Lili lotioning his hands in the middle of the night. Hell, I can picture Qian’s rant right now. “Because it smelled like roses.”
Lili laughs and covers her face in embarrassment. “That’s right.”
But like a lot of scenes in this show, the transition from lighthearted to more serious changes on a dime. Lili’s face slips back in to a frown as she turns over a thought. “Nobody cares about Qian.”
And this is what it feels like sometimes, with how stubborn Qian is, with how much weight he wants to carry for himself, with how much debt he owes to the likes of Le, Xiong, and San Pang. But they don’t expect repayment, they did this because they care about Qian. San Pang has helped Qian weather many many storms. He has pushed when Qian needed pushing, he has pulled when Qian needed to be held back.
“Yes, they do. We all love your brother.”
Qian has so much love in his life, if only he stopped long enough to see it. If only he let go long enough to feel it. I was not thrilled with how they fumbled so much of the emotional weight of Qian and Yuan getting together in this episode, but I am glad the show took time to highlight how much they all love Qian and to show the audience that they want to protect Qian just as much as Qian wants to protect the rest of them.
All this to say San Pang and Lili work incredibly well together as a couple, and I’m so happy that we got to have this little moment between them, both to breathe a bit more life in to their relationship and to remind us all that Yuan is right. Lili is not as naive as she seems.
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All gifs by the lovely, wonderful, marvelous @wanderlust-in-my-soul. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE THE BEST <3
#this scene is so important to me#I have been severely neglecting talking about Lili and San Pang and that sin ends today#unknown#unknown the series#unknown the series ep 11#unknown the series analysis#unknown the series meta#san pang#wei lili#xiao bao#san pang x wei lili#she loves her brother so much#she sees what he has done for her and for their family#she hoped to one day be big and strong enough to protect him#i was so close to crying about it y'all
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hozier starting to sing take me to church and then unfurling a pride flag healed something in me actually
if you listen closely you can hear me yell ‘oh my god’ when he does it
#(don’t listen too closely though I’m a bad singer lol)#I tried to post this Sunday night but it didn’t go through#I had no idea he was going to do it I almost cried#not leverage#hozier#slept at our airbnb for like 4 hours#woke up for an hour until Cumbies would be open so I could get breakfast (5am)#and then drove over 2.5 hours to get back home in time to get prepared for work#I ended up teaching my two hour group and then working till twelve and taking the rest of the day off#I forgot my meds so I slept ten hours until 10 at night 💀#worth it#seeing him was a spiritual experience fr#and this was like SO spontaneous. like I cannot express enough how much I didn’t plan for this#also I literally got my tickets saturday when the show was sunday. thank u stubhub ur a true mvp#I knew my friends were going and were staying overnight and someone in my facebook group was selling tickets last minute and was like 👀👀👀#I’m not gonna go into how she decided to sell to someone else later that day when I had already made plans and made me cry but whatever#it worked out in the end
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feeling catty >:3
a wip of asuka from a year ago that I didn’t feel like finishing! maybe because idk anything about her or the show
no reposts; reblogs appreciated!
#my art#artists on tumblr#evangelion#neon genesis evangelion#nge#asuka#i just think her character design is neat#this week has been so long#don't look at this too closely i will cry#also happy international women's day
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