#I was raised southern baptist
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I'm only ten minutes into Them That Follow and the visceral reaction I'm already having to this 🤢 The shit I watch for actors because I'm crushing on them.
#I was raised southern baptist#so I think that's why it was easier for me to realize I was atheist#I wasn't really involved in the church#but I forced myself to be religious because I knew it was bad to question the existence of god etc#my church wasn't doing shit like in movies but ugh#it's a huge fucking cult imo#it just gets me worked up lmfao#I could really get into my thoughts on Christianity#lewis pullman#them that follow
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬
#harry collett#his eyes are so pretty#HE is so pretty#he’s literally glowing#like an angel#oh god i need him so bad#i need to do something blasphemous#he’s lowkey serving saint mary or sum??#idk im not catholic#southern baptist raised!
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“Why is there a nun’s habit here without the nun inside?” “Rapture!” CACKLING
Love the implication that him as the priest didn’t get raptured
“Sister Lupe? Oh I’m going to hell” this poor religious Irish mob dude
#is rapture ideology also a Catholic thing??#I wasn’t raised Catholic I was raised southern Baptist which is like only rapture ideology#nate ford#the boys night out job#anarchy watches leverage#leverage
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The organ music playing in the bg when Bobby Dawn talks deserves its own trigger warning because of the VISCERAL RAGE that overwhelmed me
#Brennan BRENNAN you were raised by a woman who studies PAGANISM#YOU ARE FROM NEW YORK#HOW CAN YOU KEEP TRIGGERING ME A DISGRACED SOUTHERN BAPTIST#god I have never felt such anger so fast#good job BRENNAN#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20 spoilers#anyway Gertie bladeshield is amazing and I hope she and Kristen become dumbass for dumbass
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send me ideas for how to make my new OC look. I was thinking rlly hard about the possessed by an angel horror narrative and I want to play w that & w angels and the abrahamic god not being. well. 👀 very nice shall we say. but I have 0 ideas for character visuals
#brother i was raised southern baptist and i can tell you that guy was Not Kind or Good or Nonviolent At All#im just turning it over in my head. how to connect the deep religious trauma with the possessed and wrong but its an angel narrative#i think i wanna do a h*karu vibe where the vessel was killed and then possessed so the angel has little pretense of his personality
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a pastor is protestant and a priest is catholic :) that is the difference!
Wha really? I don’t know why I always just assumed it was a regional word difference instead of an actual difference in religion. Thank you for explaining 💜
#chibi#sketch#guess that’s why I never heard Pastor much#oh I bet Reverend is a Southern Baptist term then#oh the more you know#thank you for explaining#and being kind#was raised southern baptist but got sent to a Catholic school#I used Pastor instead of Priest cause I like how the word sounds more#Pastor sounds gentle
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I don’t not like it when people make the parish very Formal And Ritualized And Weird in fanworks but part of what feels so real about it to me in canon is the mundanity of it all. Guidance isn’t dressed like a nun, she just looks like a mom. The parish doesn’t have to be visually weird to be a cult.
#like the ritual stuff is sexy and neat but I do think it misses something about how canon does it#very rare to see a fictional cult that’s not like. long spooky robes and stuff.#and a lot of it is meant to be kinda catholic which I guess makes sense but the parish feels far more Protestant to me#i think Justin ? made a joke about how clear it is they were raised southern baptist from how griffin describes it#and like. yeah. in a very positive way.#idk if I’m making sense#icarus is talking#taz#taz Ethersea
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us discussing christian religions like this
truly <3 and i’m having a great time
#on one hand i think i’d like to go to a sacramental church to see how it is#because i think there is a lot of comfort in tradition and persistence esp in a way that feels connected to others and bigger than yourself#on the other hand. i am such a wearing jeans and sweatshirt to church guy and i fear that would not be appropriate#but i was raised mostly southern baptist so i guess? that’s already a bit sacramental
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i want to BLASPHEME i want to get railed in a church. preferably by a priest, of a faith i no longer believe in or never did
i want him to desecrate his vows he made to his god because he cannot resist his own fallible mortal sins and desires. and i want to fall prey to them too.
like to be clear i don't even really want it to be about me at all? i just want to be a tool. a vessel. a victim. a receptacle for his shame and disgust and self-loathing that he fills me with with every thrust
until he cums inside me so hard he thinks he sees heaven but really he knows it is hell.
i want him to ruin me. i want him to use me to ruin himself. i want to eat his guilt and shame and sin, to take it all inside me until it's all i'll ever be fit for
and then I want him to beg me to come back and do it again every saturday night, it's ok he'll be absolved on sunday morning
#personal#blasphemy#i want to fuck a priest#i'm getting all weird and lusty and catholic again lol#which is extra weird because i was raised southern baptist. i've never even set foot in a catholic church lmaoooo#OHHHHHHHH nvm i get it now lmao#it's the Frollo effect#nope. haven't seen fleabag.#this is purely from watching Hunchback of Notre Dame too many times as a kid#Tony Jay singing Hellfire truly Did Something To Me ok#also in the book Frollo was a priest not a judge#so it makes even more sense lolol
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I was scared of demons and ghosts as a kid, and when i told my mom she would literally confirm my fears like "careful not to let those things come in, because fear draws them in" or something, and as an adult I'm like.... what the fuck lmao why the fuck would you say that to a child?
i think many christian parents just love traumatizing their kids, they think it's funny. i mean why else did they push so hard to show Passion of the Christ to 13 yr olds?
#thats what i get for being raised southern Baptist#now i want demons and ghosts to FUCK me#look what you've done to me mother#irl#this is the same woman who called me a murderer for YEARS as a joke for accidentally killing my fish as an 8 yr#old#she would also bring up that I'm a known liar whenever i corrected her on shit as a late teen because i was a pathological liar at 5 yrs old#yknow the age where people are pushing boundaries to see how the world works#i had to put off that stage of life until adulthood and now idk how to be an adult#ty mom
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I mentally physically and emotionally cannot handle when somebody feels as horrible as I do all the time like I know that there’s nothing you can really say to help and I feel so fucking hopeless pouring my heart out trying to help people I love and feeling like it’s completely useless. Im just so exhausted and I want to help everyone but in doing that I neglect myself and it’s probably always going to be like that
#was raised southern baptist and one of the main things was that you put yourself dead last 100% of the time in every situation#it was “god first others second yourself third”#so that’s what I learned to do.#and now I literally cannot care for myself at all but I give so much to try to help others#and it’s a waste nothing I say even matters it’s all irrelevant and I’m not actually helping ANYBODY
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do you have a complicated relationship to religion? was reading your fics - just wondering
😕
#not really ? i'm really fascinated by religion just as a human concept and my mom is (sort of) ex catholic and my dad is hardcore atheist#and my 2 of best friends were raised very very religious like southern baptist and then 2 others are orthodox jewish and all 4 are gay lmao#so idk i know a lot of people who have religion as a very central part of their lives in strikingly positive and negative ways but im not#religious in any way that matters i just sort of do whatever feels right to me#aya asks#tw religion#fic talk
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i just realized my grandma bless her heart i love her to bits is gonna make me go to church w her and even if she doesn’t make me my mom is probs gonna make me go w her anyway 😭
#she’s a veryyyyy strict southern baptist btw#which there’s nothing wrong w but i’m not a huge fan of going to church yk#my dad hates his organized religion and my mom is muslim and she’s never attended church for religious reasons before????#so my dad def isn’t going and i don’t know if under my moms religion she’s allowed to go#perks of being raised non denominational christian u get to go to every christian church
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every time i think im finally getting all my baggage in a row i look closer and realize ive STILL barely scratched the surface on how deep some of this shit goes
#being raised conservative southern baptist was. maybe not the best way to raise a child! just maybe!#so much of this has just fully influenced the way i see the world the way i perceive existence and anything and everything ever#im still actively realizing just how deeply and subconsciously i feel like we have some kind of a permanent record#and every time i do something nebulously Bad it adds on another point to my List Of Everything Bad Ive Done#christ.
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The amount of time spent discussing Joseph Curwen's church membership is extremely funny to me.
"Yeah, he's some kind of immortal witch and people keep mysteriously disappearing after going to his farm and extremely weird noises can be heard coming from his house at night, but what we really need to talk about is the fact that he converted to Episcopalianism after getting married as a compromise with his new wife."
#lovecraft reread 2024#i mean i get it#i was raised methodist because my parents needed to find a middle point between catholic and southern baptist#but neither of them are evil witches
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Are you queer in any way?
Oh yeah lol completely I am just very very confused like if you asked me my sexuality I would say I don’t know and that would be the truth! 😂❤️ i don’t mind not having a specific label for what I “am”. It’s ok to be confused imo, I like who I like :)
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