#I was never happy with these colours but also couldn’t ever be arsed to c

[blaithnne]

That one time I got bored and broke them down to their core essentials

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 212 prt 2 (end)

Nope. They may not have had a birth plan, but Lance was clear about “not pooping out a baby”! Keith snapping at Coran

“He’s not supposed to be!”

Coran snapping back at him

“Yes, I know he’s not supposed to be and yet here we are. Lance...”

Lance just wanted it to be over, begging Keith in stumbled words

“I want to push... please let me push...”

“Can his body take it?”

“I...”

“Coran, can his body take it?!”

“I’m not entirely sure... The anus is not designed for birth. The muscle structure is completed wrong and there would be significant damage to the area... but Lance is a vampire... and he is a breeder. The area is softer and has begun to adapt...”

Lance’s arse did lots of wonderful things that made having sex with him much easier than when it was the other way around... Keith was all for the c-section. It was safer for Lance and the twins and something had to be wrong with the amount of blood Lance had lost. Both of them lost to Lance’s instincts. Bearing down his lover growled through another contraction, his “scary face” coming across his features as he slumped back tiredly

“We’ll need another two bags of A positive blood. Lance, you stubborn fool, I will never forgive you if this goes wrong. I want you to let your contractions build for me, then I want you to push with all your might on the next big one. Keith, keep him conscious. Even with drugs I fear he’s going to feel this”

Lance seemed to regret all his life choices with the cry he gave as he pushed longer and harder than the previous times, Keith’s legs firmly squeezed together as he tried not think about what was going on below the sheet. His vampire may have only sat up a little as he bore down, yet for Lance he might have well been bending himself in half

“And stop... stop... let them build again. One more big push to get those shoulders out and they’ll be here...”

The look Lance shot Coran spoke volumes on how he wished the fae would shut up, Keith braver than Coran as he tried to calm Lance back down

“Hear that, baby. You can do this. My good mate. One more big push and we get to meet our first little baby”

Lance went to glare at him too, but his expression soon turned soft as their eyes met

“You can do this. We all know you can do just about anything you put your mind to”

“They... never warn you about the pressure... makes the contractions the easy bit”

Keith would take Lance’s words for it. All he had in comparison were memories of bleeding arse from taking a huge dumb. Somehow he didn’t think the two compared

“Okay, babe. Remember, the next push is the big one”

Lance was crying just as hard as Keith was as their baby girl was delivered. Reaching for her, Coran placed her against Lance’s chest, using a soft cloth to clean her goopy face. Keith had thought Lance was truly the most beautiful thing he’d seen in his life, but his little girl took his breath away

“Keith...”

Lance’s face shone with pride and wonder as he stared at their daughter

“She’s perfect...”

“She’s so red... is she meant to be red?”

“Never mind, number two. As the blood flows through her body and she takes her first breaths, her colour will start to even out”

“But she’s so red”

A tiny slimy red hand lay on Lance’s chest. Her fingers were itty bitty, Keith repeating himself again

“She’s so red”

Tiredly Lance moved his hand to rest on her back, his mate had done so good. With an exhausted chuckle, Lance put him in his place

“We’ve already got Blue, you can’t name her Red”

If ever there was a time for dramatics, this was it. Placing his finger in their daughter’s hand, she gave a small cry. Instantly he knew he’d die for her. She was so beyond everything he thought he’d feel

“Nurse, if you’d be so kind, she needs to be cleaned... and you two, we’ve got another baby to deliver”

Twenty minutes after their daughter, their son arrived. Unlike his sister who was polite enough to wait a few moments, he was barely in the world before he let out his first cry. Keith finding himself unsure what to do now they had two. Lance wanted to see their daughter, the nurse bringing her over, swaddled up, just before the final push. With her eyes closed, she looked so much like Lance, except she already had the tell tale wisps of his black hair. As their son was laid on Lance’s chest, Lance let out a sleepy yawn, back to smiling again as Keith moved his hand to help Lance hold their baby boy. Both of them were so tiny. Every month of development didn’t feel possible when they looked so damn tiny.

Out of it on medication, Lance didn’t want to let their son go to the nurse for cleaning. Keith didn’t want anyone other than them touching their twins, but he firmly squashed his ego down as they had to make sure both babies were okay, while Coran dealt with things between Lance’s legs. Distracting his fiancé with their daughter, the werewolf sat himself on the side of the bed, pulling down the blanket enough for Lance to see her face. No words came close to his happiness. Peppering kisses to Lance’s sweat soaked hair, he couldn’t stop looking at their daughter

“She looks just like you”

“She’s got her daddy’s hair... Keith... she’s perfect”

“Just like you. I’m so fucking proud of you”

“Don’t swear in front of the babies... we’re finally parents”

“Yes you are! That was very dangerous and Lance will need time to recover properly. But congratulations to you both”

Having a few more moments staring at their daughter, Lance all but snatched their son from the nurse as he was brought over. His tiny little hand gripping the blanket, with the grumpiest look on his face. Lance was all smiles once he had their boy cradled to his chest, chuckling as he poked their sons hand with his finger

“Oh dear. He’s got your personality”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a grumpier baby”

Keith frowned, probably making the same expression as their son

“He’s perfect”

He’d been as red as his sister... now swaddled up, he looked as angelic as her... maybe like a grumpy angel instead of a sleepy on. Again, not to be dramatic, but they had his heart wrapped around their tiny little fingers. He was a goddamn apex predator... who couldn’t stop crying because their twins were the most perfect being imaginable. He couldn’t get over how red and chubby babies were... or how he and Lance had managed to make two such perfect little lives.

“Now for the important bit, do you two have any names picked out for our little ones? Coran is a fine name”

The “important bit” to Keith was that Lance would be okay. He’d feel more reassured about it all, if he hadn’t seen what Coran had removed between his fiancé’s legs

“Will Lance be okay?”

Coran opened his mouth as if he was going to make a joke, then reconsidered. Lance was too distracted by their son to be listening to the fae

“He may take some time to heal. He may also experience some agitation from his ego. You have to realise he is exceptionally vulnerable right now. I’m quite sure if he to be separated from the twins for any length of time, he’d go quite crazy to find them. Birth is extremely hard on the body. He may partially transform, or he may experience accelerated healing. Nothing to worry about, he’ll be in tip top shape before you head back home”

Apparently he’d been too distracted by Coran, Lance whining softly

“Keith, no more questions... look at our babies”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off them for longer than split second

“I’m sorry, baby. I had to know you’ll be okay”

“I’m tired... but they’re... so perfect... so red”

“Yet when I said that, I got in trouble”

“I did the hard work”

“You did. You gave us a scare there”

“Had to push... the pressure was too much... look at him. He looks like more like me... with your expression”

Their son’s lips were all Lance. The frown on his face really did seem to come from him genetically. Hopefully he hadn’t inherited his lead foot. He’d have made Krolia proud with his driving

“He’s perfect... you’re perfect. I don’t... babe...”

His English failed. He loved their twins. He loved Lance. He loved their twins. Lance got it. He got how overwhelmed Keith was because they both were

“Shh... it’s okay. Coran, can we be alone?”

“I... uh, yes. Yes, I suppose I can give you a few moments while I fetch some fresh blood bags. Keith, please ensure he remains awake”

*

Blood still clung in the air as Keith sat beside Lance. Only Lance would try to move over and make space so shortly after giving birth

“Babe?”

Sighing softly, Keith turned his attention from their daughter back to Lance

“Sorry. I’m...”

Lance sniffled as he nodded

“Me too... I didn’t know it’d feel like this”

“I didn’t either...”

“Do we have... names?”

Keith had a name in mind. He’d had a name in mind of a while now. He’d had a name in mind since certain things stuck out, or failed to stick out, on Lance’s ultrasounds

“Miriam...”

His fiancé’s lip wobbled, Keith trying for bad humour. There’d only been one Miriam that had meant the world to both of them...

“You won’t let me call her “Red””

“If she’s got your fiery spirit, that’s a perfectly good nickname... but... I didn’t think you’d say... Mami’s name...”

“Do you not like it?”

“I... can’t believe you thought of her...”

“Hey, we don’t have to...”

Lance shook his head, their son scrunching up his face a stray tear dropped on cheek

“It’s not that. I... like Laith for a boy, but I... I’m not making sense”

Keith peered at his son. Was he a Laith? What did Laith even mean? It sounded like a tool used in construction

“Laith?”

“It means Lion... our little lion cub...”

Their son did look like he could let out a roar at any moment, or an unhappy scream to let the world know he was there

“You know, I kind of see it... it’s better than Yorak”

Lance snorted, he tried to bring his hand up to wipe his face, yet lacked the strength. Keith using his hoodie sleeve to wipe Lance’s nose for him, forgetting momentarily to be scared of dropping the baby

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what your mum was thinking”

Keith rolled his eyes, heavy on the sass

“Does anyone ever? He’s definitely not a Lenny...”

Sighing at him, he knew he had to get over his dislike of Lenny eventually. The joke had work thin

“Forget about Lenny... Charlotte? It means hurt, and my butt hurts from pushing”

“We’re not naming our daughter Charlotte Miriam because your butt hurt”

“Badum-tss”

Why did he adore this idiot? He’d walked right into that one

“You should feel bad”

“Oh, babe. I feel totally bad... I’m so tired but I don’t think I can ever take my eyes off them”

“We don’t have to name them now...”

“Mmm, but you heard Coran, I don’t know how long I’ll sleep... I wanna know their names...”

Keith had a thought

“What about Laith Hunter Kogane-McClain? I... was a hunter when I met you...”

Lance hummed, their grumpy boy not giving away how he felt about his name

“What about Laith Hunter Kogane? There’s enough McClains out there... and some day soon it’ll be my last name too”

Fuck it. He was already crying, he wasn’t crying harder because he loved Lance so damn much

“So we have our little lion hunter... and our Red Princess Miriam”

“Oh, so she’s a princess now?”

“She’s our princess...”

“I think Blue will have something to say about that... She’s so cute... I’d... I’d like Miriam... as her middle name, if that’s okay. Mami... Mami would have... would have loved them”

Krolia would be out there waiting for him, but Mami wouldn’t be there. This wasn’t fair

“Oh, baby. She would have been so proud. I’m so proud...”

“I’m sorry... I... feel so emotional right now”

“I feel the same way... you know, “Crimson” and “Scarlet” are both perfectly acceptable names”

Once again his bad humour brought a smile back to Lance’s lips

“You can call her Red all you like, once we find the right name... Lancella?”

“Lancella with photographer for a boyfriend? I think not. What do you think when you look at her”

“Well... to me... to me I think “Lena”, but I named Laith”

Lena Miriam Kogane and Laith Hunter Kogane... Yeah. Yeah... That felt right...

*

Two hours later, Lance had been moved to another room. Their twins sleeping as Keith finally drew himself together enough to face their friends. Carrying the bundle in his arm carefully, Keith opened the door to their room. Coran had been out to reassure everyone, Lance had been through a couple of bags of blood, showing signs of healing before he passed out. Keeping his voice low, he didn’t want to wake up the sleeping bundle suckling on his finger

“Hey, guys”

Krolia, Curtis and Shiro, were sitting on the few chairs in the hall, the others sitting on the floor, both sides of the corridor. Fuck, Keith’s ego was way beyond massive with his pride. Certificates of birth had been signed, Coran knew how to register the birth and all those details.

“Keith... is that... are they okay?”

Hunk tripped over his words as he hurried to his feet, Keith beaming with pride

“The three of them are okay. Lance lost a fair bit of blood, but he’ll be okay. Coran said it might take a bit for him to recover once he fell asleep. I know we kept you guys waiting, but he fought falling asleep until he couldn’t fight it any longer”

“And?!”

Pidge couldn’t contain herself usually, this time it was Allura demanding to know. Yeah. He’d hit one hundred percent smug arsehole about his family. Coran pleasantly surprised after taking the measurements, saying “they were ready to walk out”

“Laith Hunter Kogane, and Lena Miriam Kogane. Lena was born first at 2:12pm, April 30th, 51 and 6 pound 1 something. She’s for wispy black hair and the bluest eyes. Laith kept Lance exhausted for an extra 20 minutes, 53cm , 7 pound 2 whatever it is. He’s got the grumpiest little expressions, and like his sister, he’s got my black hair and Lance’s blue eyes. Lance didn’t want to hyphenate our last names because he plans on taking “Kogane” soon”

Pidge let out a squeal, before clamping her hand over her mouth so as not to wake his sleeping baby

“Congrats, baby brother... and congrats on the engagement”

Now seemed as good as any time to come clean

“Actually, we’ve been engaged for a few weeks now”

Matt spluttered

“But at the party...”

“It’s true the box was empty. We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while... I don’t think any of expected today to be the day he went into labour. Coran said the general sickness was a sign leading up to labour, so was the stomach cramping Lance didn’t tell me about, he thought it was Braxton-Hicks being annoying again”

Krolia stepped forward

“Can I...?”

“You guys can come in... but this baby boy is staying in my arms”

Shiro seemed to hesitate, before asking, Keith trying to keep his face as neutral as he could at the coming question

“Can we see?”

Lowering the side of the blanket, Lance had his teeth in Keith’s finger, suckling down his blood. His fiancé had shifted back into a bat shortly after falling asleep. Keith had forgotten how absolutely adorable lance was as a bat. Coran seemed to think it was his body’s natural reaction to all the stress and exhaustion of birth. None of them found it funny, Krolia looked ready to hit him

“You could have told us...”

“Lance is baby. He’s feeding on my finger seeing he was a bit uneasy when he fell asleep and we couldn’t get an IV line in... anyway, come on in. Just don’t make any sudden moves. My ego’s pretty much out of control right now”

His ego being out of control meant nothing as Keith was drawn into a tight hug from his brother. The hug was everything he’d needed that morning when he’d been on the phone

“I’m so happy for you”

“I’m pretty happy for me too... Don’t forget, you and Curtis are the godfathers. You’ll have to give up being lame, you’re both going to have a huge responsibility on your hands”

“We won’t let you down... God, Keith. I’m so proud of you. Adam would be so proud of you, too”

“Thanks, Shiro. I know Lance would thank you too... Fuck, this has been a roller coaster”

“And I’m sure the journeys just begun. Now, I want to meet my niece and nephew”

“I have to warn you, they’re pretty incredible”

“I don’t doubt that for a moment”

*

Lance remained a bat for the following two days. He felt as if he’d been run over repeatedly when he finally came back to his senses. The happiness he felt when he held his twins... he’d truly never felt anything like it. He didn’t know if it was normal to love someone so instantaneously, but his dramatic arse would die for the pair in a heartbeat. Laith had all of Keith’s expressions down pact. He’d taken to feeding like a champion, unlike his sister who wasn’t too sure at first. Yeah, Lance had balled his eyes out over how precious they were. Their grumpy little boy screaming the first time he had his photo taken by Krolia, who had the flash on on her phone. Shiro had given Keith his camera, Keith making sure to get plenty of photos during the time he missed. He knew he’d never get that time back, but because his body had forced him to rest and heal, he felt like a better father for it... plus, he had the memories of their birth, and the precious first cuddles and hours of their lives.

After a week of rest, they were finally released to go home. There was nothing wrong with their twins, he and Keith hadn’t wanted to be apart and Lance couldn’t go home until Coran was sure he’d okay. A small neat gold diamond ring now on his ring finger, Keith deciding the right time to pull it out was just after Lena had thrown up on his chest. Lance knew that “being a diva couldn’t be genetically inherited” but he saw so much of himself in her. Romance would forever be Keith’s middle name, after slipping in the ring on his finger than awkwardly stuttering out “I got you a ring”. Keith was very lucky Coran had sorted things out with the police, or their “second engagement” might have been a bit awkward had the police pulled him over and arrested him for doing a runner. There was nothing Coran couldn’t fix, including his broken arse, though that had needed stitches to help along the healing and next time they decided to do this, he was definitely booking into VOLTRON a month early.

13 months, nearly to the day, his house was invaded again by two “strangers”. One a dark haired beauty, the other a little brother, grumpy at the world but secretly loving cuddles. Two strangers that would turn his life upside down again... and he wouldn’t have it any other way. It was time for a whole new adventure as their journey continued... doubly so when Keith finally went back to work, learning that it was okay that he was werewolf that preferred to be human outside of the moon. Neither of them asked for the monsters beneath their skin, but together, they made a damn good team, even if Lance did say so himself.

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27,  Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35,  Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44,  Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51

AO3

A huge thank you to all of you for sticking with me! And, as always, thank you to my beta, @theministerskat!

Chapter 52. Michigan Writing

Sassenach: I juuuuuuuumped!

My hands were trembling. It took me more than one try to write the message without mistakes. My fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, sliding on the screen, adding a stray H and two stray Os before I could command them not to. The moment the message was sent, I calculated the time in Michigan. Six-thirty. Still too early, but the first thing I wanted to do once I had land under my feet again was to share that moment with Jamie. Now, when my heart was still trying to escape from my chest -- as if I could share the feeling with him through a simple text message.

Bungee jumping was amazing. Better than I thought it would be. Even now that I was standing still, I could still feel the adrenaline running through every tissue of my body. Waves were crashing against my skin, fighting for release, making me invincible.

All due to those scary, exhilarating sixty seconds when I felt I was challenging death. Trusting a rubber band to keep me alive and feeling my heart beating wildly, the blood rushing through my body, my voice leaving my mouth in shrill cries. The wind rippling through my hair.

Elation. Freedom.

I had to do it again, but next time with Jamie. I needed to see his smile splitting his face when the crew would pull him up. To see happiness reflecting in his eyes the moment they found mine.

Sassenach: We’re definitely doing this together, too.

Louise’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I looked up from my phone. The crew was working fast to ready her, not leaving time for second thoughts. Louise, however, was looking at me with panicked eyes. “I’m not sure about this…” she murmured, a question hiding behind the words. Should I not do it? She was close to backing out just before the jump.

“It’s awesome Louise!” I encouraged her, unable to erase the grin that was still on my face, lingering there from my own jump. “You’ll love it!”

A few moments later she was screaming “Merde!”, but I could hear the laughter in her voice.

Looking around, I saw Robert chuckling silently, while Jeremy was standing close to the edge, excitement clearly written on his face. Margaret, on the other hand, had shrunk into herself, standing as far as she could from the crew, as if they would suddenly grab her and throw her off the bridge without so much as a question.

“C'est magnifique!” Louise’s laughter interrupted her words, her hand secured over her heart as she stood again amongst us. “Best thing I’ve done in a long while!” she added, ecstatic.

A weird sound came from Robert’s voice that made Jeremy laugh. We were all aware that Robert was one of the things Louise had done lately, but it was nothing more than one drunken night, so none of us had mentioned it.

“No matter how good you are, mate, I don’t think you can really compare to bungee jumping.” To the challenging glance shot at him by Robert, Jeremy added, “No offense, St. Germain.”

Another sound came from Robert, but he didn’t reply to Jeremy’s comment. Jeremy turned to the crew. “Okay, my turn!” he said. “I’m so excited!”

“Can’t tell,” Robert drawled, looking bored.

“Oh come on!” I said, disbelieving. “You can’t pretend to be calm about this! It’s not called an ‘extreme sport’ for nothing.”

“Oui!” Louise agreed with me, pulling her hair up into a sleek bun, still smiling. “This feels so good!”

“I know,” he said plainly.

“You do?” I asked, surprised.

“I’ve done this before,” he deadpanned.

“And?” I couldn't hide the smile from my voice. It was as if he had resigned to showing no emotions at all, and it was getting ridiculous.

“It’s great, okay?” he said, his face stony, but his eyes grew wide, as if he had surprised himself by admitting it.

I smiled triumphantly, but didn’t continue the conversation. Jeremy was almost ready, and he was looking at me with a wide smile, waiting to take his picture so he would post it on Instagram.

“Got it,” I winked at him and smiled, and his grin became wider, if that was even possible.

Thirty minutes later, we arrived back at the volunteer house. Robert had jumped from the bridge in the most nonchalant way, but even he couldn’t control the grin on his face when the crew pulled him back up. Margaret had decided that she didn’t want to try, even though we had repeatedly assured her that the jump was perfectly safe and felt amazing. Robert had walked with her back to her room while the rest of us had stayed behind, having an animated conversation about seeing the ground coming closer and closer, and wondering where the hell the rope was that would stop us.

Jamie hadn’t mentioned my letter in any of his texts or during our calls, and I, wanting it to be a surprise, didn’t inform him of my old-fashioned means of communication. So I could hardly believe in my eyes when Robert gave me the crisp white envelope with my name written on it in Jamie’s beautiful penmanship.

“Mr Darcy sends his regards,” he said with a slightly raised eyebrow, but I didn’t have time to spend on his mockery. That he, of all people, would be the one to read Pride and Prejudice and use references from the book to tease me. Or maybe he had watched the movie. Having Jamie’s letter in my hands, I didn’t really care either way.

I ran to my bed, lay prone propping myself up on my elbows, and tore the envelope open.

My Sassenach,

A letter? Really? John is now calling me Napoleon and it’s all your fault. He says Napoleon was sending steamy love letters to Josephine and he’s sure that’s what we’re doing as well. If I’m going to live through that, you have to increase the level of naughtiness in your letters, babe. We have to live up to John’s expectations (and that’s the only reason I’m asking this of you, as I’m sure you very well know).

“Yeah, sure, Jamie Fraser. The one and only reason,” I  murmured, grinning. “I wonder who you’re trying to persuade with this.” Shaking my head, I continued.

What you also need to know, is that Hector has left two fake letters on my desk this week -- one featuring hearts of all shapes, the other full of ridiculous declarations of love. And a bit of sex talk. Really bad sex talk, if I may say so. We should have never helped these two get together. They are insufferable, and I have to endure their silliness all by myself now that you’re gone, Sassenach.

COME BACK. SAVE YOUR LAD. I’M SUFFERING HERE.

“You’re a ridiculous human being,” I whispered, smiling, although my heart clenched a little reading his words. I knew he was joking, I knew it, but I also knew he did wish I was there. My eyes glanced back to his words.  

To be honest, I never expected to get a letter from you. It was a nice surprise, reading you, though. Maybe I’ve read the letter more than once. Maybe I read my favorite parts every night. Maybe.

The groan left my lips before I could control it. Why does this man have to be so sweet? All of a sudden, my arms felt extremely empty.

I never expected to tell you that I’m happy you’re there, Claire, but I am. I am happy because you are. Because I can see the way you smile in the pictures you send. Because I can even read this joy, squeezed into the tiny white spaces between the crammed words in your letter, flashing as if it were written with fluorescent colours.

I can’t really explain it, but it makes me happy and sad at the same time. It feels like an ache in my chest. I’m happy you’re doing what you love, but I want to be there, with you. I have this constant feeling that I’m missing something really important, something we were supposed to live together.

But then, if I followed you everywhere, maybe you’d get sick of me and ditch me the moment you got bored. I’m staying here to make myself unattainable, that’s what I’m doing.

Here is where you say, “I’d never get bored of you, you fool.” (I do hope you’ve said this. Or at least thought it.)

R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. “I’ll never ever get bored of you, you fool,” I said, feeling that I owed him that much. It was the truth, after all. Jamie’s letter continued in a more serious tone.

I know we need to make some memories that are ours and ours alone, mo chridhe, but I don’t want to. I want to be there, to see wild Africa as you see it, the people, the landscapes… To see you healing others, getting ready to become one of the best doctors in the world. I want to be there, to smell you at night when you lie in my arms, to feel your skin soft and warm against my lips. To feel you getting wet, as I run my fingers across your body.

My heart thundered inside my chest. Living up to John’s expectations, my arse.

Anyway. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I miss you terribly.

“I miss you too, you oaf. Why do you have to make this so hard?” My whisper was soon lost, as Jeremy burst in, laughing at something Louise had said outside. I swallowed hard, trying to master my feelings.

Things here are pretty much as you left them, Sassenach. Classes are relatively easy and the winter term ends next Tuesday. Coach has started pushing us harder. Training is exhausting and I often have no stamina to do anything more than go to classes and to the pool. I’m getting better, though. My time underwater is so much longer now! I still need to improve my turns, and coach says my back doesn’t have quite the right arch when I jump at the start. In Edinburgh, my coach had said I had the perfect start -- it appears not.

I could almost see him rolling his eyes. My poor swimmer, straining for perfection.

Other than that, we usually gather over at Hector’s for beers twice a week, as you already know. You remember Jim from when you were here? The complete arsehole? He’s starting to open up now, and he’s really not that bad. Oh, and I just hung up with Jenny. She told me she’ll send you some pictures of Lallybroch, to entice you to return home. Lallybroch is beautiful in the spring, remember the pictures I sent you last Easter? I’ll send you some pictures of me, to make you come here. Fraser measures, we call them.

Jenny said she misses you a lot, but she’s proud of you. She said I’m a lucky bastard to have you -- I needed to remind her I am her family, and not you. I talked with Ian, too. He has started looking for apartments in Edinburgh, so Jenny and he will live alone come September. He wants to find a job too, so he can pay for it, but Jenny has no idea about his plans. He’ll get her on a trip to Edinburgh so they’ll decide together which one they like once he narrows down their choices to three or four apartments. I told him that he’s making the rest of us seem inadequate as boyfriends, but he merely chuckled. He is, though.

Don’t get any ideas in that pretty head of yours. Ian is only one, taken by Jenny, and I’m the best boyfriend you can ever get. Right? Right?

You’re the best I can ever get, that’s for sure.

Your team of volunteers seems nice. Tell Louise I said hi! And keep a safe distance from the guys, okay? (I’m kidding. Or not. Okay, I am, stop staring at that piece of paper as if you’re going to put it on fire.)

I don’t know when this letter will be delivered to you. I’ll make sure you get enough of me through texts till then. I can’t wait for the weekend, so I can see and hear you again.

I love you. And I miss you. And I want you. God, I want you.

Time will pass and I’ll have your obnoxious curls getting in my face again. I can’t wait.  

Your beloved Scot.

I pressed the letter against my chest, breathing long and deep. A letter from Jamie -- who would ever have imagined that happening. I grabbed my phone, checking the time. He should have woken up by now.

Sassenach: Where are you, my sleepy Scot?

Seeing that he wasn’t online, I tucked the letter between the pages of my book and went outside to sit with the others. Louise gave me a sweet smile, and nodded towards the only empty chair, between her and Margaret.

“Happy?” she asked in a low voice once I was seated.

“Yes,” I said, but it was more of a sigh and less of a word. “I miss him.”

“I know.” She pressed her lips together, and her glance traveled to her phone. Charlie was back in France and he hadn’t taken Louise’s decision well. He blamed her for leaving their perfect life to go on an adventure without him, and they had broken up a few days before she left for Zambia. But she still loved him.

At least Jamie understood.

When the rest went back in the house, Robert and I were left alone basking in the sun.

“So,” I said, leaning towards him. “Pride and Prejudice? You?” I asked in a low voice, making sure I raised my eyebrow in a challenging way.

Robert looked at me for the briefest moments, then averted his eyes. If I didn’t know he had been lying under the sun for the past thirty minutes, I would swear he had blushed. With his gaze fixed on a puffy white cloud, he shrugged.

“You would make a nice Mr. Darcy yourself, you know,” I said without really thinking about it. Or, more specifically, thinking about his money and arrogance.

His eyes found mine, and the openness I saw there surprised me. “It was my mother’s favourite book.” He ran a hand through his hair, fixing his gaze on the cloud again.

I froze at his use of past tense.

“I’m sorry, Robert.” I reached out tentatively and squeezed his hand, feeling his fingers pressing hard against the arm of his chair. “I know how it feels like.”

He looked at me again, wide eyes glazed with unshed tears. He nodded, gulped as if to swallow the words and feelings that overwhelmed him, and stood abruptly. A moment later he left the house.

My gaze was fixed on the road for a while after Robert disappeared at the turn, thinking how proud and prejudiced I had been in my assessment of him. Everyone carries their own baggage, some people hiding their limping better than others.

Chapter 53

[the-fiction-witch]

Chronic P1

REAL LIFE:  COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SMUTTY AF

"I think..." I began "I have a problem." "Care to elaborate?" She asks "I think that I have a problem" I start "a chronic...mastabation problem" "Okay, how about we get started when this all began," she asks "Okay... I guess it all kinda started a few years ago." I explain...

I yawned, my head resting on my arm and my elbow on the table waiting for class to start everyone slowly wandering in after the long summer break I got my phone and text y/n as she was running late

'hey y/n, where are you class is about to start? Come on I can't save your seat much longer and I don't wanna sit with anyone else 😿😿'

'I'm coming I swear! I had to find a parking space two minutes Tommy I promise'

I laughed a little at her putting my phone away and watching the door for her as well as the clock almost timing her, while I waited a girl ran in and sat in the chair beside me, she had beautiful y/h/c hair and a sweet face, she had a strap dress on, with huge double D breasts, the skirt of the dress finished mid thigh but as she sat on the chair it rid up a little as she crossed one leg over the other and I could see the curve of her arse I froze looking at this girl get her books out her bag "Uhhhhhhh....ummm miss I uhh I was saving that seat for my Friend" I stuttered trying to avoid looking at her tits even if I wanted to "Tommy you dummy it's me" she giggled "Y/n!" I yelled in shock "Yeah," she giggled "What happened to you!" I asked her "I had a growth spurt while away" she shrugs "A growth spurt! You look like a fucking model! Or a porn star!" I complain "Awww thanks Tommy your so sweet" she smiled as class started, I couldn't keep my eyes off her the whole time, I felt weird... I mean she's been my best friend since we were like babies, and I don't know something about her just... Did something to me, my jeans felt so uncomfortable so tight whenever I looked at her till class was over so we went out sitting on a little bench out in the garden on campus I sat beside her still unable to stop looking at her "Thomas...are you alright?" She asks "Humm? Ohh yeah fine" I answered "You Uhhh you sure about that?" She says sounding worried "Yeah, why?" I asked her "Uhh pants Thomas," she says glancing down I was a little confused before I looked down "Ohh my god!" I yelled grabbing my backpack and putting it between my legs hiding the massive bulge that was in my jeans "I uhh I ummm" I stuttered "Thomas....what did you get a Bonner for?" She asks "I don't know! This is the first time it's done that" I complain unable to stop myself glancing at her chest and she looked down "Me!" She asked "I think so" I nodded "You.. got your first Bonner for me?" She asks "I think so... I'm sorry" I told her "No Thomas it's okay, don't worry it happens" she shrugs giving my cheek a kiss "just try not to think about it" she smiled getting her bag and walking off to her next class "Kinda hard when you do that sweetheart" I blushed,

That night when I got home I laid in bed unable to stop thinking about her, she had changed so much and looked so beautiful I felt that tightening again and looked down seeing that stupid bulge again so I sighed and pulled my shorts down to see what's going- Whoa! It's so big! And thick, I never really thought much about my cock before it's just never really bothered me but now, I was as hard as a rock and the shaft covered in desperate vains I blushed looking at what y/n had done to me making sure my door was shut and hearing my parents asleep in there room I held my base gently a little unsure before gently stroking "ummmm" I gently moaned into my mouth almost in shock it felt so nice I didn't stop turning my gently stroking to rubbing and rubbing to pumping I never ever wanted to stop I wanna do this forever my hips bucked towards my hand as I felt a strange sensation building and building and building until it one suddenly movement I felt like someone set off a firework in my cock but it felt so good overwhelming pleasure and satisfaction "uhh! Y/n!" I groaned as I finished my jizz coming out in little spurts onto myself "whoa... Humm y/n sweetheart look what you do to me" I groaned "this is gonna be fun" I smirked licking my bottom lip a little excited for what was to come.

I sat kinda awkwardly in y/n's little day bed as we watched tv, nothing had been the same since our first day back, it was awkward and strange but also really good, we had somehow become even closer willing to share everything with each other. "It's just ridiculous, why isn't there an E, because I don't fit In a D and I don't think I'm big enough for an F yet" she explained "I don't know y/n, how does it work again?" I ask "The number is round the letter is the cups which is the boobs themselves dummy, it goes up from A cup which is small boobs and keeps going up the bigger they get" she explained "Wait... so you where a double D now they think your a F?" I ask and she nods "my god your Gonna have big tits when your done growing them" "That's just it I don't wanna buy a whole new set of bras if I'm Going to be to big in another three months" she complained "your lucky boys boxers just have normal sizes" "Yeah but that also kinda sucks y/n, I mean I'm technically a small, but I don't think my dick is small... My dick is pretty big, I think I don't know I've not like measured it" "Yeah true, girls have special places we go and they measure our boobs for us" she smiled "Yeah guys have those there called perverts" I laughed making her giggle "Yeah pretty sure the people who measure for bras are pervs too" she giggled "it's literally part of the job them get to look and squeeze boobs" "I should move into that career" I laughed "Ohh come on you get Bonners for cereal" she laughs "One time" I complain "the lady on the box was hot...she had a swimsuit" "She was animated" she laughs "Animated tits are still good tits" I shrug "Thomas? Have you actually you know" she smirked "Have I what?" I ask "Touched a boob?" She asks "I have not" I answered "but I imagine they feel like... Squishy, and soft?" "I don't know I don't feel myself up often" she smiled "If I had boobs I don't think I'd leave them alone" I laughed "just like constantly playing with them" "You could play with mine If you wanted" she smiled "What!" I asked in shock "I'm kidding you perv" she laughs "Ooh... You scared me" I blushed "Give me a sec I'm going get a drink" she says giving my cheek s kiss and heading downstairs I didn't really know what to do here in her room when I spotted something out the corner of my eye something poking out her draw so I went over just to put it back in properly opening the draw.... Ohhh my god, it was filled to the brim with panties and bras all mixed in together all sorts of colours and styles all packed tight into this little draw I saw what was poking out a little red lace bra I went to put it in but found myself getting it out and looking at the soft fabric and the intricate lace pattern I felt my jeans tightening knowing what this was doing to me I can't not here! In her room she'll kill me she found me, ummm but I can't help it she comes back she's gonna notice straight away I have a Bonner I sat in her bed still holding the pretty bra putting it on the bed beside me undoing my jeans and slipping my hand in my eyes rolling back already trying to be fast with my pumps so desperate to cum especially here in her bedroom, on her bed, surrounded by her scent, by her soft pretty bra.... uuuummmm I'm really gonna do it? Cum in little y/n's bedroom, she could walk in on me, she could find me, umm that almost made me want to more the Risk of her finding out about what I was doing only made me go faster "uuummm uuuummm y/n... Sweetheart I'm- I'm gonna cum" I groaned feeling it twinge as I got closer and closer "uuuuuhhh uuuuuhh ummmm I'm gonna cum sweetheart, I'm so close for you... Uhh! Uuuuh!!! Y/n!" I moaned bitting hard on my mouth trying not to call out for her too loud as she was in the house, after all, I quickly did my pants up and hid her bra away "Hey" she smiled coming back just as I sat back down "Hey" I smiled blushing a little bit "You alright?" She asks sitting on her bed with me "Just fine y/n" I smiled giving her cheek a kiss.

It was raining like crazy so y/n offered me a lift home in her car so I didn't have to walk home in the rain I couldn't stop looking at her she looks so sweet and cute when she drives I smiled a little and decided to make a move, come on I can't stay jerking off and getting cheek kisses forever, I waited for her to change gear and when she did before she moved her hand back to the wheel I moved closer and took it holding her hand she smiled as she drove intertwining our fingers I pulled her hand close after a while and gave her hand a kiss making her giggle moving her hand away and playfully hitting my arm "I'm driving" she giggled "Sorry, " I blushed as she pulled up outside my house the rain somehow worse and the windows starting to fog a little "so...I'll see you tomorrow, thanks for the ride" "That's okay Thomas, anytime" she winked "Okay" I blushed "bye" I smiled giving her cheek a kiss "Thomas?" She asks as I pressed the latch to open the door "Yeah?" I asked turning back as I slightly opened it she blushed a little but moved forward and pressed her lips against mine I froze a moment before kissing her back and she moved her lips against mine so I did the same matching her speed and intensity pushing back a little and so was she I shut the door again her arms wrapped around my neck and I put mine in her waist or as close as I could give we did have the handbrake and gearstick between us, I was so happy lost in the moment, my first real kiss and it's with y/n, parked in her battered little car parked outside my house, the rain pouring out pattering in the metal roof, the window wipers on making a squeeky noise Every so often, the radio playing some little song it on so low I could barely hear it, the engine still gently running on tick over, the sound and lights of over drivers rushing past she moved a little closer licking her tongue across my lip I happily opened my mouth our tongues starting to move around each other as we kissed our lips clacking together often echoing in her car she pulled me closer and I did the same and I felt it this whole time my cock had been getting hard and I noticed now I was almost... Almost there from our kiss I went to pull back but she deepened our kiss I knew I should pull away but I couldn't she was too irresistible I kissed back deepening our kiss more, she gently moaned into my mouth slightly sucking on my tongue and - "Ummm...." I groaned pulling away as I felt myself rocket into my orgasm jizzing in my pants as I finished "I uhhhh I umm I should go" I told her "Okay" she smiled "see you tomorrow Tommy" "Till tomorrow, sweetheart" I smiled giving her lips a quick kiss before grabbing my bag and heading inside the house.

When I woke up I yawned, my parents were gone for the weekend and they have taken my sister...so I'm home alone? I know exactly what I'm doing. I stripped my shorts and my shirt off leaving me naked I grabbed my phone but it would load batteries probably too low where I forgot to charge it last night, so I hopped out my bed and grabbed my laptop opening my pictures were had saved finding my secret folder of all y/n's pictures, at the pool, on the beach, in tight dresses ummm anything I could use to get off I quickly got started roughly pumping my cock already desperate for it often moaning not worry about if anyone heard me or not "ummmm ummmm sweetheart! Uhh uuhh!" I moaned "Something wrong Thomas?" I heard as my bedroom door opened I quickly shut my laptop and covered myself with my duvet as y/n opened my bedroom door and came inside with her little dress and backpack "Uuuuuuuhhh y/n! Sweetheart! What are you doing here?" I asked shocked to see her "I came to visit, I used the spare key hidden in the garden" she explained "I wanted to keep you company while you were all alone" she smiled sitting on my bed with me and giving me a kiss "Awww sweetheart, that's so kind of you" I smiled giving her a cuddle "but I uhh I'm still in bed so can you uhh give me a minute to get dressed" "I don't care if your in your PJ's Thomas I wanna cuddle" she giggled "Uhh okay, you uhh you get cosy" I told her and she got off the bed to slip off her shoes and such so I grabbed my shorts from my bed quickly getting them on Just as she moved the covers and got into bed with me, I made sure to give her lots of space so nothing... Poked her or anything and she rested her head on my chest so I wrapped my arm around her too and gently plaid with her hair pressing a kiss to the top of her head I knew she was asleep not long after we cuddled up and honestly I felt tired too, even if I could feel my cock throbbing begging to be touched but I can't, as much as I want to get off she's laid on me I can't she'll know if I do, so I pulled her a little closer and tried to get some sleep, When I woke up y/n wasn't cuddled with me anymore she had moved away laid on her back fast asleep she looks so beautiful her hair a mess and her sweet face with a gentle sleepy smile, not to mention her tits almost falling out the top of her dress I sat up just watching her sleep a while but I noticed the problem was still there I was desperate, I gave her a kiss and nothing she didn't even flinch so I smirked biting my lip as I sat up on my knees looking at her pushing my shorts down letting my erection jump free I grabbed the base trying to be quick looking at my pretty little y/n fast asleep ummm I want my hands all over her roughly pumping trying to be fast I knew I wouldn't take me long when she's really here Infront of me I kept biting my mouth trying not to make much noise in case I woke her up "uumm y/n" I grained getting close and she moved gently stirring in her sleep with a sleepy little moan ooohh my god it was nice that little moan drove me crazy only imagining what her moaning for me would sound like "uuhh.... sweetheart... I'm gonna cum..." I moaned quietly getting faster just as I hit my peak and finished my hips bucking forward with each spurt of my cum each one landing either on my bedsheets or on y/n which only made me more horny, there was some on her dress, a little on her cheek and some on her breasts I froze unsure what to do I'll have to deal with it she wakes up and sees it she'll kill me! I pulled my shorts up and grabbed some tissues wiping clean the bed and my hand before getting a fresh tissue and carefully wiping it off her soft cheek get another and getting the little spurts on her dress, then I panicked getting a couple more and gently Running the tissues across her perfect breasts my finger caught a feel of one and I almost moaned it was so soft I made sure I got it all and threw the tissues in my bin Hiding them under a few chocolate bar wrappers and a popcorn bag, I couldn't help it... looking at her beautiful breasts as she slept and I got a little feel I couldn't stop now so I tugged the duvet away a little making her stur slightly taking a from grip on her breasts, they where huge! To big for my hands, so soft and squishy like marshmallow pillows of heaven especially where they where out at the top of her dress the skin there the softest I've ever felt skin to be "uuuh sweetheart" I groaned they felt so good I never wanted to stop touching them, I squeezed them giving her a grope over and over gently moving them making them move around in her dress up and down around and round I felt myself getting hard again so soon after the last one till suddenly "Hehehe Tommy you wanted to touch them so bad you could have asked" she giggled "Aaahhh! Y/n!" I yelled shocked she was awake moving my hands away and almost backing down my bed "you where awake!" "Yeah" she giggled "your groping woke me up you silly boy" she giggled "I'm sorry" I blushed "It's alright thomas, just ask next time" she smiled giving me a kiss

"Okay," I blushed "So uhh The grope woke you up?"

"Yeah why?" she asks

"well... I'm just curious as I uhhh I gave you some kisses?" I asked her

"awww you did?" she asks "You're too cute Tommy" she smiled giving me a kiss.

[futurewriter2000]

Schemes ~ Letter to James

A/N: Wooh! I finally finished this letter. And I thought I’d put Remus’ letter first but this just lead to James first. OH MY I’M SO excited about this becasue the cliffhanger on the end. I just want to leave it all to the next two letters hehehehheheh. Okay, I’ll shut up now. Just read it :D

XX

‘ Dear James,

I’ve wanted to write to you first and I think you don’t need to ask why as you have been the first. The first I truly loved, truly felt the emotion of love that has slowly faded through time. In many ways, I have wanted to tell you how much you meant to me but your Lilyflower was the one who was close to not only your’s but my heart as well. I couldn’t do something as awful to her and make you doubt your love for her.

You know me as someone who has never been serious about her life but the truth was you never knew what my life truly was, to begin with. We have made our bad memories as well as good.

The first time we became friends was also the first time we became more than friends. The evening where I was stressing myself for the exam and you got me drunk and in bed instead. Sure, it really was better than the time I landed on top of you while we were running away from those disgusting monsters in the Forbidden Forest. The only difference was that I got a special name from you that night.

You thought you were annoying by calling me that but I really loved it when you did. Because every time you called me by that name, all that was in my head was the touch of your skin and the kisses from your lips. Cliche? Romantic? Poetic? Well, you know me James, always keen on trying out new things. Though that wasn’t the only thing that ran through my mind because the memory that made me forget all those happy moments was the expression on your face when you have realized that your father wasn’t the one whom you thought he was. I have felt horrible when you had to find out by me. I’m sorry about that. Truly.

I guess in everything that I have wanted to say was thank you for those memories, bad and good. You were a challenge to scheme against to but you were also somebody whom I fell for deeply.

I wish you all the best in the world, James and don’t bother reading this to your roommates. This letter is for your eyes and your eyes only. Knowing I was better at Charms that your arse ever was, you wouldn’t dare to try and prove me otherwise.

Love, your Sparkles. ‘

James read the letter again and again. His fingers held the parchment gently and carefully and his smile appeared and faded. But the words that truly could make his heart bleed tears was the last three on the bottom of the letter; ‘Love, your Sparkles.‘

To feel the grief he hasn’t felt when you died, to feel the joy when he found out you didn’t... The complex of his emotions at the very moment was detonating. One wrong move, word or thought and he would break just as his best friend before.

If what you wrote in the letter was true and honest, sincere - then the emotions he was feeling at this very moment were that as well. To finally realize he has been feeling deeply for you too and to know how much he took for granted when he had the chance.

It was as if he was in the center and everything around him, the memories, the feelings, the moments and objects, even his friends’ voices, their words, your words... they were spinning around him, creating unstable chaos inside of him.

---

He has found it. Where everything for him began. The Forest. There. Right there at the tree where a pile of sparkles was stuck, due to the resin that the coniferous tree produced.

He stood in front of it, holding the letter in one hand while the other pressed itself on the trunk of the tree.

‘ “Oi,(y/n)!” He shouted after the only person who was around the corner he came from.

She turned around with an irritated expression, snapping at him. “What is it now, Potter.“

He could notice the soft red colour on her cheeks as if she was blushing but the attitude he was receiving from her wasn’t giving him the same message. "Have you perhaps seen anybody running here?”

“Perhaps, I did.” She replied, an impish smirk stretching on the corner of her mouth.

“ Do you know where he went?”

“In the matter of fact I did and he’s standing right next to you.” She looked over at Sirius and winked. “I heard about Lilly and you. Nice move.” ... ‘

He simpered at the first meeting, the first moment when everything was starting itself. “ If we only knew back then where everything would lead.”

‘ He was storming to the Gryffindor tower not even hearing the whistles and the remarks of the students he passed. He climbed through the portrait hole, catching the roll of his own hazel eyes before they widened at him.

She was wearing his robes, his shoes and his face yet her own Slytherin tie. And there again, was the same playful quirk of the corner of her mouth. “ I like the skirt, Potter. It shows your legs. “

He could feel the embarrassment and the indignation that she caused him to feel. The emotions he disliked the most yet there you were, making them heavier and heavier to carry. “You!” he growled, breathing heavily.

Her eyes widened at the sound of his voice yet her mouth kept their form same.“ James, buddy.”

“ You’re so dead!” ... ‘

The most embarrassing moment in his whole Hogwarts experience. How can he ever forget that memory when it’s stuck so clearly in his head; Two James’ running around the common room, surely everybody knew which one was which...

‘ He had her pinned against the floor yet her arms were still trying to fight him off. Sooner or later her laughing took away all the energy for her to fight and he had finally succeeded in catching her. “ Finally!” he shouted triumphantly.

Yet she didn’t stop laughing, nor the three boys in the room who kept watching the chase happening in front of their eyes.

“ I’m not even sorry.” she continued to laugh, breathing heavily beneath him.

And it was gone. The fury, the indignation, and the embarrassment... it was gone and he realized that all of this... was just a laugh. So, instead of creating any more troubles as he would usually do, he started laughing as well. ‘

The first time he forgave someone for taking away his pride.

And if he thinks back at the sight you and Remus taking a snooze in the Forbidden Forest when spring started to bloom and you had your (y/h/c) let down, spread on the bright green grass... he sure wanted to be in his place that moment at the time but he never thought about that as much as he did now. The first time he wanted to be in Remus’ shoes instead of his own because you have been so amazing to be with and to know Remus always had you... it was making him feel more than the jealousy of it.

‘ “ Oi! Sparkles!” He slammed the door and made his way in the room, looking around for any trace of glitter and seeing them lead to the bathroom.

“James?! The hell are you doing in my dorm?” a shout came behind those doors and he let out a chuckle.

“ I’m bored. ” he laughed and threw himself on one of the beds, marveling the Slythering style. He heard the pipe run yet the attention that surely was worth his while was the Quidditch trophies on the shelves. “ Slytherins do love their achievements.” he mumbled under his breath and tried to put the object back in its place but instead it fell through his fingers and hit the floor.

“ Don’t touch anything.” the door opened and she was glaring at him.

He laughed and put the trophy in its rightful place. “ I didn’t expect the Slytherin house to be so comfy.” He patted the sheets on your bed and jumped a few times. “ And the sheets are so soft.” he marveled as he continued to brush his hands against the white sheets.

“ What are you doing here, James? I really have to study for tomorrows test.” she chided at him and harshly grabbed the books in her hands, sitting on the bed opposite of him.

He was surprised by her sudden change of mood. Usually, she was relaxed and goofy but at this very moment, she was completely on the edge. Was this only the stress or was he seeing the true side of you? What was it?

“ Well, since Remus is tutoring Peter, Sirius is out doing God knows what, I decided to pay you a visit. ” he lied, spinning the pencil between his fingers.

“And since when are we friends?” she crossed her arms over her chest and quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Didn’t that bonding in the Forbidden Forrest mean nothing to you?” ..... ‘

He didn’t mean that night to take the path that it did but he would be lying if he said it was a mistake. Being with you that night, on the bleachers and in bed...

‘ He caught her with the red-head and slowly made his way towards her. The only thing he has been wanting to do since he caught his eye on you was to kiss you again- to have you in his arms one more time.

“ I know you for years, (Y/n). You can’t lie to me especially with that glow on you shinning so brightly.” he heard Lilly and the only thing he could do was smile at her sentence.“ Tell me. Who was it? Was it Sirius? Remus? “

‘All the wrong guesses.’ he thought and sat next to her.

“ Yeah, Sparkles. Who was it? I bet he wasn’t as handsome as me.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, resisting an urge to kiss your confused expression.

She was looking at him, her expression staying the same yet her eyes switching their gaze at him as if she had many things to say yet she did not say anything at all.

“ Bog off, Potter.” sneered Lilly at him but he only glanced at the girl in his arms and smirked.

“ But I want to know how was Sparkles’ first time. Was he cute? Good? Great? Fantastic?” he winked at her and he could see the soft red colour appear on his cheeks. This time he was sure she was blushing.

Yet it took her a moment before she pushed his arm away and plastered the famous devilish smile. “ To be honest, he could have lasted a bit longer.” she winked and brushed that smirk off his lips. ‘

“ We both knew you were lying about that.” he chuckled, sitting down against the tree and smiling at it.

‘  He saw the tears that caused his heart to ache but instead of doing what she wanted him to, he stood up and walked towards the door.“ I would have chosen you! “ she shouted behind him.

He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

There she was. The eyes he adored yet they were broken and they did nothing but break his heart in him as well. So he couldn’t look at you and so he reached for the doorknob, wanting to walk away already.

“ You were my first, James. I trusted you and- and… I honestly thought we could be more.” her voice started to show desperation, almost as if she begged for him to turn around and tell her he was lying. Kiss her hard and passionately as he did that perfect night. If he was honest with himself he didn’t want that. He wanted to run to her and hug her so tightly until she stopped crying. To hold her, either in silence or if she screamed at him, he still would want to hold her.

Instead, he turned his back at her. “ I’m sorry. “ was the only words he said before opening the door and walking through it.

“ You’re a prick, James Potter! “ she shouted from behind and caused him to stop once again. “ It was a mistake sharing a bed with you. I wish I’d never met you.” she spat out coldly, lying to him as much as she lied to herself.

He stopped. For a moment. He stopped only for a moment to think it all over again before making the final decision. And apparently, leaving was the right one for him.

Not a word. Not a single glance. He just left. ‘

“ I’m really was sorry back then.” he mumbled and starting to bend the edge on his letter.

‘ Her fingers were interlaced and his big hand seemed to fit perfectly with her. His black hair was messy, scattered all over the white pillow. His eyes matched his smile and the light which shone on his growing stubble has made him look almost heavenly. “ You’re beautiful. “ he spoke soft and gently, pulling her hand closer and kissing her knuckles.

A blush appeared on her cheeks after hearing his words leave his lips. The two used to hate each other since the moment both became a Chaser on their own team. Rival houses, rival Chasers and here the two of them were, fooling around.

Caressing his cheek, she didn’t say a single word and only let her finger wander across his sharp jawline. He leaned forward and her hand snaked around his neck, pulling him closer. It was a simple kiss but at that point, it seemed to be the most wonderful of them all. It was perfect. ‘

James felt his lips tremble almost thinking he was about to cry at the moment from thinking about everything.

‘ “James?” she said in worry yet he was in no position to care.

He was so furious with you, ready to make you pay for your dull actions. “ I didn’t tell you this because I was afraid of your reaction but since I love you like a brother I need to tell you.”

“ James.” he heard her warn him but this time but he only gave her a glance and turned back to Sirius.“ So, remember the night I didn’t spend in our dorm?”

“Yeah. The secret girl you don’t want to tell me about.” Sirius grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at James.

“ Well, Sparkles is that secret girl.” .... ‘

“ GOD! I WAS SUCH A PRICK!” he shouted on top of his lungs and the sound of his voice echoed through the whole Forbidden Forest. He was laying on his back by now, his letter crumbled in his hand.

‘ “ What situation? “

“ Just get this mucus off of me! “

“ Mucus?! I’m not a snail to produce mucus! “ he spoke quite offended by her comment, but she only grinned at him and wiped it against his tux. “ Fine. “ he didn’t even bother to step away, just tilted his head back and sighed. “ Can you please tell me about the situation or I will lose it. “

He just wanted to know. He had a gut feeling that whatever this situation was, it sure wasn’t any of the fun or harmless she used to get into. He just knew that whatever it was, it made sure to take the usual glow in your eyes disappear and the absence of it, made him care.  

“ Please, Sparkles. “

“ Why are you so eager to know? “ she asked him instead and the next words that came out of his mouth were not even thought twice before he said them.

“ Because...”

“ Because? “

“ Can’t you just tell me? “

“ Can’t you just answer me? “

“ You are so stubborn. “

“ And you’re a dick. Glad we cleared things up. “

“ Ugh! No! “ he shouted instead and stormed back to the party. He had enough of this. Why would he ever want to know about her when he clearly is in love with Lilly. He stopped a few feet away from the cabinet, pondering and contemplating what he was about to do. So the next thing he remembered was storming back inside.   “ You know what! Yes! “ he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her.

And he didn’t know why he was doing this. He didn’t know why he loved when you did nothing but kiss him back and pulled him deeper into the kiss. And no matter of it, he knew this was right. Just right. ...’

The Malfoy Gala. Of course, how could he ever forget?

He chuckled to himself and opened the crumbled ball he held in his hand, reading the last words once again; ‘ Love, your Sparkles. ‘

“ I don’t regret that though.” he chuckled and smiled up at the stars where they reminded him of his worst memory yet.

‘  hazel.

‘’ Our night spent together should never have happened. It complicated things. I told you I never saw it as a mistake and I still don’t see it as one. You gave me one of the best nights possible but that is all that it was. What there is between us is just chemistry. I felt something towards you but I realized I only craved the memories of that night. It’s chemistry, James, and that is all. You’re in love with Lilly. The way you look at her or the way your eyes glow at her smile. You love her James so why did you ever bother with me.” ...‘

“ It wasn’t just chemistry with you, Sparkles.” he spoke to the stars, a tear escaping his eye. “ I bothered with you because I just couldn’t let you go. You were just someone so unique, so wonderful and positive. When I was with you I felt like I was floating. “ tears fell from the corners of his eyes, his hands pressing the letter harder against his chest. “ You said you were sorry when I should be the one who was supposed to be telling you those words. I just wish you were here so I  could tell you what I have on my mind as well.”

“ Well, why don’t you?”

His eyes opened as wide as they ever did. His feet have never picked him up as fast as they did and before his arms could realize they were holding you once again.

The hold of you. How perfectly you fit together.

“ I’m so sorry.” he spoke before he could think, his mind taking him places of joy as well as guilt, yet the only thing that kept returning was that you were here, now, with him. “ Oh my God. How did you know I’d be here?” he placed his hands under your jaw and kept looking you through the tears that continued to fall from his eyes.

“ Well, it wasn’t really hard to figure out who shouted “ God! I was such a prick!” Through the whole forest. And you still are, country boy.” you smiled and he laughed.

“ God! Why? Why did you obliviate us?”

“ Thought I should practice the spell more. I see I have to work on -”

“ Don’t do that!” he pulled you in another hug and held you against himself. “ Do you know what you put me through.”

“ Oh.” you scoffed, pulling away and crossing your arms over your chest. “ You know what you put me through?” you quirked an eyebrow.

James stared for a while and took a while to respond to your question, which he knew the answer but didn’t want to say it out loud. “ You- What happened exactly? I mean why did you have to die?”

“ Like I said in the letter James: You know me as someone who has never been serious about her life but the truth was you never knew what my life truly was, to begin with. “

“ So, you’re struggling?”

“ Everybody is struggling, James and with my death-” you looked down at yourself and tapped the side of your body. “ Well...resurrection- Is it resurrection? To be honest, I don’t know what happened so clearly as well.” you laughed and felt everything resurface. Every single emotion, the pain of the past, the guilt as you tried to focus on his hazel eyes. “ Uhm- I- James- that -” you couldn’t make the words combine in a sentence but the eyes shed tears and your mouth let out a sob.

“ Hey-shhh.” he took you in his arms and you cried, gripping his shirt. “ What’s wrong?”

“ It hurt so much.” you cried as you remember the last moments before your death. To watch in those eyes you used to know, to feel betrayed, to obliviate yourself from the minds of those who were close to your heart... And everything led to this moment.  

But he didn’t say a word and only held you in his own embrace, kissing your head.

“ Ugh!” you moved away and wiped the tears from your cheeks, placing a smile and focusing your eyes on the velvet sky. “ Dying sucked. “ you let out a short laugh. “ Definitely wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.” you looked at him and his mouth twisted in a simper. “ Cheer up, Country boy.” you playfully punched his shoulder and laughed.

“ We’re still on that?”

“ Nicknames? “ you smirked and laid on your back, your eyes fixated on the view above you. “ Can’t deny the truth, can you now? Our whole relationship started on nicknames.”

“ Actually, it started on you turning into Sirius and kissing Evans.” he laid beside you yet his eyes weren’t focused on the stars.

You’ve felt his eyes. It was like as it was before, back in the past you were so determined to leave behind. You could feel his touch even though he wasn’t touching you, his breath against your skin even if the proximity was far from big.

“ Are you still with Lily?” you asked, turning your head that both of your eyes locked with eachother's.

“ I don’t know where I stand with Lily anymore since you came back. To be honest, when the memories came back, the rush of emotions and thoughts you took away made me wonder what happened to us. There was always more of you and Sirius. Since all this started, there was more you and him than me and you. And maybe the fact that you and he always had more than we ever had, made me so angry at you because I really liked you as well - a lot. I liked you a lot. “ he sat up, moving his eyes on the earth in front of him. “ I don’t know, (y/n). When I found out you died. When I got my memories back and then realized you were dead...you know what went through my mind?” he turned around. “ I thought that everything I did- to you... to put you through so much because I just had this need of being a prick and I had to be the worst kind to you. Because you were a Slytherin and me loving a Slytherin was just an impossible combination for me. I just couldn’t believe that I would ever betray myself like that and so instead I denied everything and I turned on you- and betrayed you. So the thought that really went inside my head was actually the guilt that everything I have done to you and yet, I never got to say how sorry I was for putting you through that.”

“ Wow.” was the only reaction you could get yourself to express. “ You- you loved me?”

“ What? I wouldn’t really say-”

“ You said because I was a Slytherin and you loving a Slytherin was just an impossible combination for you. “ you sat close to him, trying to read his expression.

“ Didn’t- didn’t I say like-” he tried to speak but you shook your head in denial and he took a deep breath. “ Okay... say that I did love you and that I do think of you more than I should be. Would you be with me? Would you choose me?”

[09yards]

6 - Colouring Outside the Lines (days gone by - nct)

Days Gone By masterlist | main masterlist

The remainder of August passed like nothing ever happened, school started up again far too quickly and maybe, just maybe, Mark would get his fresh start and life could go back to ‘normal’. But really, what is normal anymore? Between Renjun and Jaemin figuring out where they stand with one another, Hyuck pretending like everything’s okay and the brother Mark feels like he barely knows anymore, Mark feels too busy to get a second chance to think about anything other than his exams. Autumn always brings about change, for some its for the better – for others, not so much.

They say time slips away when you’re having fun, that’s why you said let’s change our life to a dull one Don’t wanna blink one day and this will all be over, if only time could stop so we’d never grow older

Yet in the same breath I look forward to the day when our skin has aged, I’ll love you just the same Our canvas will have endless hues and shades because of all the vivid colours that we made

Mark always liked Autumn the most out of the seasons, the softer weather, no longer having to deal with the obnoxious sun, trees turning from electric greens to an array of dusky oranges. The air was crisper, a little harsher and with it came the rain but Mark never minded rain, perhaps it was the memories of walking Jisung home from middle school with Johnny, running and laughing as the rain poured over them – having forgotten their umbrellas that morning. Their mum always berating them for being so careless, complaining and nagging that they could make themselves sick. Collapsing through the door, out of breath, changing out of their now soaked through uniforms and curling up with hot chocolates in an attempt to increase their body temperature. They didn’t get to do that anymore. Johnny was at university, although only an hour away, but far enough that technically he didn’t live here anymore, at least not from September until June, Jisung went to the same school as Mark now and refused to drive in with him, still taking the bus – arguing he liked his ‘quiet time’. Mark remembers the bus, the bus is not in any way, shape or form, quiet. Jisung was fiercely independent, everyone knew this, he kept to himself as much as possible bar the three friends Mark knew he’d had since pre-school, Beomgyu, Samuel and Linlin, who even with their ten-year friendship, Mark knew very little about each of them. Frankly, he didn’t know much about his younger brother, not as much as he’d like to at least. Sure, Mark could tell you he has an extremely varied music taste, currently enjoying BTS and Black Pink but also the likes of panic! At the disco and Vinyl Theatre, he seems to be obsessed with HONNE at the minute if the constant playing of crying over you or location unknown was anything to go by, Mark could tell you that he prefers grey or muted tones rather than colour, knew that Jisung hates tomatoes but doesn’t mind tomato flavoured things, but Mark didn’t learn these things because he was told them, they were just things he’d picked up on. They didn’t talk anymore. Mark didn’t know what TV show he was currently binging, or what his favourite film at the minute is. Mark didn’t know the youngers opinions on his soulmate mark, he couldn’t remember the last time he heard Jisung ranting about Johnny and Ten and the damage they do to his innocence.

Jisung felt like a stranger to Mark these days, not someone he once couldn’t be separated from. Maybe that was a bit of a stretch but they were close, just how you’d imagine siblings to be. Sure, they fought and squabbled over who really won at Mario Kart but for a long time they really were each other’s best friend.

It was sad really. Beginning to feel like you lived alongside a stranger, passing each other in the hallway or across the landing but no time for anything more than a quick ‘hello’ or a mumbled, half-arsed ‘good morning’ from either of the brothers. It would also be much better if Mark wasn’t thinking about all of this at four am when he had a chemistry test at nine and while half of his brain is making him feel guilty about how he’s been a shitty brother and too preoccupied with his exams, the other half of his brain is running through Born-Haber cycles and it only made him feel worse. Marks realising that even though its barely October, he’s become exactly who he didn’t want to be, he drowns himself in work and when he’s not studying thermodynamics or the freaking nitrogen cycle he’s attempting to get some sleep or sometimes , just sometimes, he’s actually active in the group chat and is able to somewhat keep up with Renjun and Jaemin’s developing relationship but most importantly he’s gotten used to Donghyuck pretending like not a thing had happened back in August. Donghyuck left that morning, within two days he was back to messaging the group chat (also known as ‘Beyoncé’s bad bitches’ - yes, it was named by Jaemin, Renjun is still mad he wasn’t allowed to call it ‘a guide to crackheads, volume 101’ and Hyuck wanted to call it ‘hoes mad’. Mark did not agree to any of these names and continues to hide his phone whenever his mum is around - he has never flipped it over so fast than when his mum walks into the room, his friends have a habit of setting their own contact names to inappropriate phrases, i.e. Jaemin’s (again) current contact name is ‘your guide to getting that dick 101’, is there not a limit on the number of characters?) like everything was fine, starting out with his fist message about why on earth did he have homework over the summer, the summer. Weren’t you supposed to relax and ‘blow off some steam’?

Mark’s brain was in a state of overflow, uni application due here, maths test next week, chemistry exam today , start spending more time with your brother before you get even busier and he needs someone right now without Johnny around and deal with stupid feelings for Donghyuck knowing full well that they are unrequited tomorrow.

“Hey Mark? Can you come pick me up?”

“Sure, what time?”

“Now?” Panic, panic, panic.

“Yeah sure. Is everything okay? You sound kinda wobbly?”

“I’m fine. I’m down the backroad behind the park, I’m waiting at the end of the road.”

“Okay, I’m grabbing my keys and I’ll be on my way.”

Mark’s guide on how not to panic was a short one, it consisted of ‘breathe and don’t freak other people out’. He only had a ten-minute car journey to figure out how to calm down. Jisung was in trouble . There is no way he would’ve called otherwise and considering he could’ve walked home and it would only take an extra five minutes, something was clearly wrong. Hence, Mark’s brain has gone into instant panic mode. He wasn’t good at dealing with people or emotions, especially when he had no idea why his brother was down this road – none of his friends lived here, at least not as far as he could recall. Mark definitely broke the speed limit more than once (or four) times, his baby brother wasn’t okay.

Jisung looked glum. His eyes were read and puffy, visible even though Mark was a few metres away from him, his posture was sluggish and he looked broken . Jisung’s face didn’t light up upon seeing Mark, although he did look a little less panicked, instead he practically dragged his body into the car, slouching in his seat and saying “Just go,” before turning up the Twice song currently playing (what is love? Mark’s brain supplied).

“Are we going to sit in silence and pretend like everything’s fine or is this the point where instead of Twice we listen to The Neighbourhood, Chase Atlantic and The 1975 and you tell me what’s going on so I don’t have to call Johnny or mum ?” Yeah, Mark was not good at the whole authority figure thing but he did remember all the things Johnny did for him. Mark remembers his first crush, the boy was not gay and Mark, stupidly, told this boy, Daniel, that he was. Daniel was one of the first people Mark came out to and well, he didn’t take it well. Accused him of ‘tainting’ him, trying to make him gay. So, Mark, teary-eyed and heartbroken, rang Johnny who came to pick him up. Johnny sat with him in the car at the lookout, blasting Mr Brightside by The Killers until Mark was ready to talk. That was when Johnny taught Mark about how there are some really, really great people who will run around waving pride flags for you and do everything they can to make you comfortable (like Lucas) and there are some people who are stupid and are not-so-great, some people don’t like it and that’s okay, they’re entitled to their opinion, Johnny had said, they’re just wrong. Mark was thirteen at the time and quickly learnt that some problems (aka stupid crushes on boys that are tall, have fluffy hair and chocolate-coloured eyes) can be solved with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream and some crying while listening to Taylor Swift, not that Mark would ever admit his secret love for her.

“There’s a boy,” Jisung mumbled, “I think I like him? I don’t know. I ran out of his house after he hugged me and I panicked.” Oh. My. God. This was happening, okay Mark, you can do this.

“Does he make you happy?”

“So happy. He smiles at me and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. We get along really well, he doesn’t find my playlists weird and he already knew every Twice member and most of the artists I was listening to and he thinks I’m cute and he pinches my cheeks and I don’t hate it.”

“You hate when anyone touches you without permission, usually?”

“I usually do. But, not him. I want to pinch his cheeks too. He has a gummy smile, it’s so cute. He has purple hair too! I really want to try purple, he said I’d look good with pink though so now I really want to try pink hair because he likes it. What is happening to me Mark?”

“You’ve got a crush Sungie.”

“Like you and Hyuck?”

“Yeah, like me and Hyuck. You feel the room brighten a little when he walks in and he makes you a little breathless when he gets too close, right?”

“Right! I’m gay aren’t I. This is the moment I realise I’m gay, huh, though it’d be a bit more exciting.”

“You’ve got plenty of time to explore what you want to, or not, label yourself as Sungie. But you do have a crush on a boy . It’s not the end of the world and no, he won’t hate you.”

“But I don’t know if he’s gay? I’d feel bad if he wasn’t and I tried to confess.”

“I honestly have no idea who we’re talking about so I couldn’t tell you if I had an inkling or not but you’ll figure it out. Talk to him, that’s the only way to get through these things. You can panic and run away all you like but you can’t avoid him forever, trust me, I’ve tried one too many times.”

“Okay. Thank you. Do you think this means Ten’s going to drag me to pride now?”

Mark let out a sigh, “We both know everyone was going whether they wanted to or not. Come on, let’s get ice cream and watch a movie. If you’ve got any questions you can always come to me, unless its sex stuff – I’m not ready for that, go to Johnny, you’re a baby so there better be no sex stuff for a long, long time.”

“Oh my god Mark,” Jisung groaned, “you do not have to worry about that stuff. Please just drive, I want cookie dough. And, we’re playing Mario Kart! Dibs on Yoshi.” With one last chuckle, Mark turned back to look at the younger, his own smile widening upon seeing a veryembarrassed but grinning Jisung. They would figure this out, together.

- - -

“You like me and my cold hands,” Jaemin whined, “maybe, you could warm them up for me. Don’t look at me like that, you loveee me.”

“Har-har, have I mentioned how funny you are lately? No? Wonder why that is. Come here you idiot.” Jaemin wrapped his arms around the smaller, allowing Renjun to bury his head into his chest, one of the only places the younger emitted warmth.

“See, told you that you love me.” I do, not that I’d tell you that.

“Renjun? Hey, you’re going to get a sore back if we don’t move.”

“I don’t want to.”

“What did you say? Renjun you can’t speak into me; I can’t hear you.”

“I said, I don’t want to go. I like it here, you’re warm.”

“Not even ten minutes ago you were whining that I’m cold.”

“I said your hands; your hands are always cold but you seem to radiate heat from everywhere else. Wait, aside from your feet too, they’re always cold, whenever they touch me in bed, I feel like an icicle.”

“You’re just always cold, you wear hoodies in August .” Now, as much as Renjun likes to dispute most comments made about him, he couldn’t argue against this. It may be October now and the cold weather has well and truly set in but, Renjun was always cold – four layers even when the current temperature was reading eighteen degrees, almost hot for an Autumn day. It worked as the perfect excuse to curl up into people (Jaemin) in search of warmth.

“There is nothing wrong with that,” Renjun huffed, “I’m just naturally colder than like, everyone.”

“I like that you’re cold, it gives me the excuse to cuddle you into oblivion and it makes you squirm when I do this-“

“AAH! STOP!” Icy hands were tickling at Renjun’s sides, making their way under his shirt, Renjun squirming and giggling, breathlessly panting for Jaemin to stop.

“Speak clearly Injun, I can’t hear you.” The grin on Jaemin’s face would make your cheeks hurt, wide with pure joy and his eyes filled with love as he flipped their positions, hovering over Renjun as he continued to tickle him to no end. “What was that? Did you say you wanted me to stop?”

“Jaeminnie please,” his voice was wheezy, trying to catch his breath whenever Jaemin’s hands paused their movement.

“Okay, okay. I have a better idea anyway,” and with that, his voice dropped an octave, away from his usual singsong tone to darker and husky. He dropped his head into the crook of Renjun’s neck, leaving light, feathery kisses where he could before moving under his ear and up his jaw, planting kiss after kiss on the expanse of Renjun’s face. God, Jaemin gave the best forehead kisses.

“Yep,” another sigh left Renjun’s lips, “definitely a better idea.” Jaemin finally connected their lips, breath tangling with one another’s, lips chasing each other whenever they parted for breath. It was needy but soft, like they were treasuring every moment of it, holding onto it.

A short while later Jaemin, having left Renjun with lips slightly swollen, much pinker than they were before and his neck littered with reddening marks, pulled away.

“We need to talk.” Renjun wasn’t a fan of this tone of voice, it wasn’t singsong and melodic like normal, nor was it huskier and darker than when he was breathless. This tone was rigid, void of emotion.

“S-sure?” It made Renjun feel small, like he was vulnerable, almost like whenever he got in trouble with his parents as a child.

Jaemin moved from hovering over him, instead opting to sit next to him. He let out a sigh, running his hand over his face, “I can’t keep doing this,” his voice was wobblier now, “we can’t keep going around like this not knowing if we’re soulmates or not. We could be hurting people. I have a soulmate mark and you don’t, maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be – you’re my soulmate but, I am not yours.” Jaemin continued to rant on like this, saying that it wasn’t fair, that he didn’t want to live like this.

“Jesus Jaemin, will you let me speak for one second, please?”

“Oh, right, uhm. Yeah, sorry, go ahead.” The way Jaemin could turn from dominant and flirtatious, arrogant and stern to a complete utter mess never ceased to amaze Renjun.

“You’re an idiot, a complete and utter idiot.”

“Now, I don’t think that’s fair- “

“No, it is,” Renjun leant down to tug his sock off, his soulmate mark out of hiding, “look at me, stop burying your face in your hands and look at me.”

“I’m embarrassed Renjun, I think I have every right to not want to look at you.”

“Oh my god, I would not put up with you if you weren’t my soulmate.”

“What?” Jaemin’s head snapped up at that, glassy eyes meeting Renjun’s before darting down to where Renjun’s leg was crossed over into his lap, revealing his soulmate mark in all its super tiny glory. Angel written in a minimalistic print along his ankle. “You’re kidding, h-how could you not tell me?” A lone tear escaped the corner of his eye and god, Renjun was so damn in love with this boy.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, Hyuck said you cried for three hours about how I didn’t have a soulmate mark. I couldn’t exactly turn around and be like ‘hey Jaemin, I know we’ve been making out at least three times a week since prom night and we’re not together officially or anything but you are actually my soulmate , you’re just a dumbass who didn’t take my socks off and I’m madly in love with you’. Do you see my issue there?”

“Nope, you definitely should’ve done that. I could’ve been kissing you every day of the week. I liked you before, regardless of whether or not we were soulmates, sure I knew since I met you because wow, you’re you and then I just- “

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

“This means we’re boyfriends, right?”

“Not if you don’t kiss me in the next three seconds.”

“Jesus, so bossy!”

“You love it.”

“That I do.”

“I love you too.”

[theravenofwynter]

For the writing prompt: Shakarian and “great. perfect. nice. fuck this.” Please :)

five word prompts (somehow this turned up a lot more political than originally intended! Worth of note: Shep and Garrus are married here

There were few things that annoyed the Commander as much as inefficient Council meetings, and that day there was just something about Councillor Valern that had her grinding her teeth. The whole stalling game, waiting to see who would give in first, who would yield in their demands, who would be fed up with the game first? It wasn’t in her nature to put up with it, neither was it Sparatus’ forte if the irritable thrum coming from him was any indication, though she doubted anyone but her and her new Turian acquaintance could actually hear it and they both knew better than to say anything. They were all in a Council-Spectre meeting, all Spectres on the Citadel were to attend it - all four of them - wan wait for further orders while the Council was debating if they could even pull more resources with the supposed ‘imminent return’ of the Reapers. Councillor Valern was still stalling, his nasal voice was beginning to irritate her beyond belief.

“Are we sure these are necessary? Attacks on colonies have ceased with Vakarian’s actions and with it all concern for human-dominated territories in the Terminus,” Valern pondered, again.

She had sent footage of the Omega 4 Relay as soon as they were back in the Terminus, a high-priority message directly to the Councillors as well as a few Hierarchy generals, the Alliance brass and some Asari Matriarchs - she had even gotten a somewhat hasty reply from Aethyta which said simply ‘well, fuck me!’ - thought she left the Salarians for Mordin to handle, she was beginning to think that may have been a mistake.

“You’ve seen the footage she sent, we’ve all seen the footage of that prototype human-coded-reaper as well as undeniable proof the Collectors exist, or existed.” Tevos said curtly, her jaw set in annoyance. Sophia could definitely relate.

“Yes as we’ve all seen she has been working with Cerberus for the past year, if not longer.”

“As well as undeniable proof she has ceased all contact with Cerberus,” Sparatus said, a certain flick of his mandibles that made him seem, at least to her, at the end of his rather short patience.

“Is that undeniable proof?” Valern asked, looking at her, she supposed it could’ve been a rhetorical question but she was at the end of her patience and no one had ever accused Sophia of being particularly level headed when dealing with politicians.

“Unless the Illusive Man has a kink for humiliation, I think telling him that he can shove the Omega 4 relay up his arse counts as me ceasing contact with known Cerberus cells and, in fact, terminating my short contract with them,” she pointed out rather calmly, sitting in-between Kaius and Udina, her new Turian acquaintance trying to stifle a laugh while the human Councillor looked at her as if she was a particularly fetid Vorcha; she had no idea when Anderson had handed the Council seat to the weasel but it was for the worst in her opinion.

“Known Cerberus Cells?” Valern asked in that archway of his that usually meant he knew something she didn’t. She refrained from rolling her eyes.

“Well I can’t very well know about the agents in the cells I don’t know exist, can I?” Sophia asked in a tone similar to the councillor’s, snappish, a certain holier-than-thou tone and definitely beyond fed-up with the procedures.

“Shepar- Spectre Vakarian is right,” Udina intoned, a sour look on his face, “there’s no way to know other Cerberus cells unless we send in infiltrators, and since they only deal with humans your STG would be next useless while dealing with Cerberus, Valern.” Udina looked as if every word pained him, even if mentioned the Councillor’s name as if savouring a favourite candy. If she had to guess she went from fetid Vorcha, in his eyes, to a particular nasty puss-oozing wound he had to personally see. Thankfully Udina’s moods were no longer her problem, unlike a certain spiky councillor sitting to her far left.

“Be that as it may, this is not what we’re here to discuss, the recently uploaded footage of the mission beyond the Omega 4 was troubling to say the least,” Sparatus cut in sharply before anyone else could get a word-in, “the data we got on that humanoid construct is beyond anything we’re currently capable of-” the Councillor continued his speech while Sophia tuned him out.

She focused on the other participants of the meeting. The council had ordered all Spectres on the Citadel to attend the meeting, given the news she had shared, so that made it four other people in an unnecessarily large room. Besides her and the Turian, a Spectre a year or two older than Garrus if she were to guess, there was an Asari Spectre near Tevos and a Salarian one near Valern, she didn’t recognize either one of them. What she really wanted was to be back with her husband - and damn if the word didn’t leave her giddy - for their long overdue honeymoon.

“The Asari is Iilia Nuwani, her cousin was on Fehl Prime during a Collector attack,” he muttered next to her, loud enough for her and Sparatus to hear, but low enough it wouldn’t draw attention from the politicians, “the Salarian is Cest’ach Tann, as far as I know he only read the reports on your missions, his focus is in something called the Andromeda Initiative.” He glanced around the room, briefly nodding to his fellow spectres before focusing once again on Sophia.

“Still as much of a gossip as ever, aren’t you Kaius?” Sparatus muttered to them while Valern droned on about the lack of resources. Most of them knew it was bullshit and simply the Salarian Councillor dragging his proverbial feet.

“I think it’s important for your pet Turian to know who she’s gonna be dealing with, also that most of us believed her when she first brought up the reapers,” Kaius muttered, a faint rumble of mild disdain in his subvocals.

“Pet Turian?” She mouthed, a stifled laugh from Iilia getting a flicker of her attention before she focused on both men near her; Udina doing an outstanding job of ignoring them.

She refocused on the meeting when Tevos begun speaking about at least getting their security up, if not for the ‘Reapers’ then a possible backslash from the Collectors. It was an appeasement, she could see that, she would have to grit her teeth and take what she could, but it still grated her how, in the face of undeniable proof, the supposed leaders of the galaxy could only offer a token effort to help defend their civilization.

She took a deep breath, in-out, in-out, like Samara had taught her, she was getting emotional again and seeing Council actions as slights against her; it was all just politics.

The meeting ended with a sour note for her, token resources, missions that would lead nowhere and, according to muttered words on both sides, a waste of resources. All she wanted right then was go get back to Garrus, if only for comfort. Maybe he had better news with the Hierarchy than she did with the Council.

“Ah yes, the uselessness of the Council in the face of a threat, charming isn’t it?” Kaius signed next to her, stretching his neck, probably trying to get the kinks out, that’s what G used to do.

“Tobastic, kindly shut up,” Sparatus muttered as he passed them by, only a lingering look to make both Spectres know they were to follow him.

“So what’s this about a pet Turian?” Sophia asked falling in step with them, close enough to brush against both as they walked back to the councillor’s office.

“Sparatus has a tendency to fall into bed with a few of the Spectre candidates, especially the Turian ones,” Kaius smirked, a flick of his mandible and a tilt of his head and neck. Supposedly she should be insulted by the insinuation but it didn’t even register of her radar. Yes her and Decilliam used to fuck, he was deliciously good at it, but that one particular affair was behind her now; she had, after all, promised to be a one-Turian kind of woman.

“And he’s still sore he never managed to get even close to my bed,” the councillor said deadpanned as he ignored both spectres while checking his omni-tool, an annoyed click from his throat made Sophia start to pay attention, that was rarely a good sound coming from him. “Well Valern will not approve of any budget request to up security, the Human Councillor backs him up in this decision.”

“Great,” She let slip before her brain caught up with her mouth, “perfect. Nice. Fuck this.” She threw her hands up, ignoring the looks from diplomats as she attempted to turn, only to be caught by a hand on her shoulder, firmly leading her on.

“I know you’re upset, but you will not be causing a scene in my office,” Decilliam muttered as they neared the opulent room, “I’ve got Vakarian on vidcom, and I’ve still got plans to keep us going and so do you, don’t let this set back stop you.”

“How do you-?” She trailed off, looking from one man to the other.

“He sent me to gauge your work, Commander,” Kaius muttered, an amused flick of his mandible as he looked down at her, “the last thing we needed was another rogue Turian Spectre so he sent me to watch while you worked with Cerberus. Kaius Tobastic, reconnaissance specialist.” He offered her a hand as they entered the office, “I’m happy to say both you and that C-Sec officer passed with flying colours, as the human say.”

“Since when?” She hadn’t even caught anyone following them, or anyone not Cerberus or her ground team aboard the Normandy.

“Since you first approached Councillor Sparatus.” He shrugged, sitting on the couch as Sophia started pacing. “As much as he likes you the Hierarchy couldn’t take the chance of another Rogue, nor of a crazy Spectre, not so soon. I was to be their eyes, and can I just say for a human you put a lot of Turians to shame? Well done.”

TBC… (maybe)

[lettersofsky]

Your Life is My Favourite Read

aka - Platonic Soulmates is one of my most favourite things ever and nothing will ever change that, so deal with it.

“Your soulmate is so cute,” Genesis whined, slumping back against Sephiroth’s surprisingly comfy couch. “I wanna date him.”

“So why don’t you?” Came Sephiroth’s confused answer, watching Genesis from the other side of the couch.

“Because,” Genesis responded passionately. “He’s your soulmate!”

“And?” Sephiroth prompted after a few moments of Genesis staring at him intently.

Genesis could only groan at the man, slumping over his knees with his head in his hands. Sephiroth’s next words, spoken offhandedly, made him freeze;

“He wants to date you too.”

Genesis understood the romance behind reading all about your Soulmates life through their tied books, he really did. It was just that his Soulmate had died when he was two, leaving his book a terribly short read and collecting dust at the bottom of his draw.

So he couldn’t really relate to the general populace when they spoke about the person their books told them about. He kept his opinion to himself though, their was no reason to bring other people down with his inability to understand.

Angeal had known him long enough to carefully prevent conversations to turn to that particular topic and was kind enough to attempt to make excuses when he accidentally offended someone without meaning to.

Meeting Sephiroth had almost been a godsend, the man didn’t talk about Soulmates at all more focused on battle tactics and weapon techniques than anything else.

It probably helped that he had no idea how to actually talk to people but nobody liked to discuss that.

For a long time, Genesis had thought that Sephiroth didn’t have a Soulmate either; he had never seen the man with his tied book, Sephiroth never said anything when the topic did come up. So Genesis did not hold himself responsible for accidentally reading the thing one day after returning from his most recent deployment to Wutai.

He had just thought it was another book on Sephiroth’s shelf; it was just sitting there in the middle of the bookcase. He hadn’t been paying attention when he grabbed it, thinking it would be some boring thing that he could gloss over while waiting for Sephiroth.

He had slumped onto the couch and opened the book, preparing to wait for Sephiroth to finish whatever he was currently doing so they could discuss what was happening in Wutai. 

He had ended up skimming through a few pages before realising what he was actually reading. He was frozen stunned for a few minutes, reading over the page once again to make sure that he wasn’t fooling himself before flinging the book to the other side of the couch frantically when Sephiroth opened the door behind him.

To say Sephiroth was confused by the scene he had opened the door to, was an understatement.

“... What do you mean Cloud wants to date me?!” Genesis asked, shock and disbelief colouring his tone as he stared at Sephiroth. He must have heard that wrong, there was no way that -

“Cloud wants to date you too.” Sephiroth repeated slowly, clearly enunciating each word as if Genesis didn’t understand them. 

He understood what Sephiroth was saying, he just didn’t understand what Sephiroth was saying.

“But he’s your Soulmate!”

“... I know that.” Sephiroth responded to his disbelieving cry with his usual infuriating straightforward calm, looking at Genesis like he thought he was stupid.

“How can you say your Soulmate wants to date me?!” Genesis asked, trying to come at the topic with a different approach; maybe that would make Sephiroth understand where he was coming from.

Sephiroth just shrugged dismissively, replying in a calm voice. “He thinks you look good and he likes how passionate you are about the things you’re interested in.” 

His brows furrow slightly at his disbelieving face, “I thought it was a good thing when the person you’re interested in is interested in you as well.”

Genesis groaned, carding his hand through his hair as he figured out the best way to phrase his answer.

Sephiroth had been confused when Genesis tried to apologise for reading his tied book; he didn’t understand the notion that they were supposed to be private things. 

(Genesis had to resist his sudden violent urge to burn down the science department with Hojo locked inside.)

No, Sephiroth instead offered to let Genesis read more if he wanted. He justified his request by saying he wanted to know if what his Soulmate was experiencing was common in small town communities.

Genesis had been conflicted; on one hand he was preening at the fact that Sephiroth wanted his opinion on something like this, on the other he didn’t want to intrude on something that was supposed to be a very private matter.

In the end he relented to Sephiroth’s earnest, concerned look and agreed to read what had worried the other.

Sephiroth had picked up his tied book and flipped through it confidentially until he reached what he was looking for, Genesis felt a stab of something in his chest at the ease in which the other found the pages he was looking for but he was trying to be a not-so-bitter person so he paid the feeling no mind.

Sephiroth then sat next to him and handed him the book, open to what he wanted Genesis to tell him about. He held the book gingerly, a little uneasy about holding the thing but after reading the first few words on the page before him his grip on the book tightened.

No, he had told Sephiroth after reading the page. That was not normal small-town behaviour at all. He didn’t miss the forlorn expression Sephiroth fixed on the book in his hands at his words.

He handed the book back to his friend, watching as he held it gently to his chest. He sighed heavily and slumped back into the couch, there wasn’t anything either of them could do about how Sephiroth’s Soulmate was being treated by their village.

Several minutes of silence pass before Sephiroth cuts through the tension of the room by asking Genesis about how things were going in Wutai. He had been grateful for the chance to change the topic and dove into the conversation eagerly.

It didn’t stop him from worrying about the poor soul Sephiroth’s book was about though.

“Sephiroth,” Genesis sighed eventually, fixing the other man with a look. “Why would Cloud want to date me when he has you for a Soulmate?”

Sephiroth seemed to realise what Genesis was trying to say then, sitting back and watching him with a soft gaze. “He doesn’t want to date me, Genesis.” He said calmly.

“But -” Sephiroth cuts him off before he can say anything else.

“We tried dating once, after he came to Midgar.” Sephiroth explained, keeping his gaze trained on Genesis’ form. “We both hated it and decided we were better off friends,” he ended with a shrug.

Genesis was left staring at the other in disbelief, he hadn’t heard about that before. It gave him a small bit of hope.

“So, Cloud,” Genesis started hesitantly after a few moments, his gaze focused on the coffee table before them. “You think he’d be willing to get dinner with me, sometime?”

Sephiroth chuckled at his halting question, “you’ll just have to ask him, won’t you?”

That was really all he needed to give it a shot.

Genesis tried not to think about Sephiroth’s Soulmate too much, he had other things to worry about; the war with Wutai for instance.

Though he wasn’t able to forget about them completely. Sephiroth had, for some reason, decided that he was someone he could talk to about his Soulmate.

There were many nights in Wutai where, neither of them able to sleep due to nerves and excess energy, they would sit up for hours talking about whatever topic they wished. They often ended up talking about the topic of Soulmates and their tied books.

But, now they were back from the War until Shinra deployed them again and Sephiroth was acting odd. Even Angeal was noticing that Sephiroth was acting differently.

He was distracted and distant but also seemed happier when they did manage to force him to talk to them. The reason behind his sudden change in behaviour was revealed to them eventually.

His name was Cloud, he was 5′7″, blond and very willing to drop someone on their arse if they messed with him. He was also quiet, reserved with a dry, snarky wit. 

Sephiroth could’ve had a worse Soulmate.

The man was patient and understanding; exactly what Sephiroth needed in a partner. 

Genesis was ashamed to admit that he fell hard for the blond. It was hard not to when Cloud was so genuinely interested in his interests and willing to converse with him about his love of literature.

It was nice; to have someone so willing to listen to him rant about what he loved and was even willing to discuss it with him. He gave as good as he got, listening intently as Cloud talked about his love of machinery and the beautiful places he had seen in his travels.

He was doomed.

S: How did it go? C: It was good. I had a great time. S: Oh? C: Yeah, we’re going to do it again. S: That’s good. C: You kicked him into gear didn’t you? S: ... no. C: Seph. S:[file X07-03] sent C: You can’t send me cute cat videos and expect me to forgive you. S:[file X19-97] sent S:[file X06-17] sent C: Fine, fine. You’re forgiven just don’t do it again, ok? S: You deserve to be happy. C: I would’ve gotten around to it... S: I only sped things along. C: You’re awful. S: As you keep saying. C: Talk to you later alright? S: Stay safe. C: Yeah yeah, you too.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Little Mix share their secret for beating a double chin, budget beauty heroes and how they learnt to love their 'small boobs and bums'

http://fashion-trendin.com/little-mix-share-their-secret-for-beating-a-double-chin-budget-beauty-heroes-and-how-they-learnt-to-love-their-small-boobs-and-bums/

Little Mix share their secret for beating a double chin, budget beauty heroes and how they learnt to love their 'small boobs and bums'

They’re the biggest female pop group in the UK with countless musical accolades to their name and brands clambering over each other to work with them.

Despite smashing records previously held by the Spice Girls and landing a spot on The Most Influential People In The World list, Little Mix refuse to rest on their laurels.

Their latest venture? Teaming up with, Simple, to launch a limited-edition range of skincare.

Here, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, and Jesy Nelson tell GLAMOUR all about their favourite beauty buys, laidback workout regimes and how they’ve finally learnt to love their bodies as they pose for an exclusive digital shoot.

Here’s everything we know about Little Mix’s upcoming makeup brand

“We’ve used Simple since we were teenagers so this is the perfect partnership”

Jade: This partnership is cool because I’ve used Simple since I was about twelve. It’s the only thing I use and it’s improved my skin so much; it’s a product that we do actually believe in.

Perry: I swear by the micellar wipes; I couldn’t live without them, my skin has totally changed since I started using face wipes. I had really bad skin and bacne and these have honestly changed my life.

“We swear by Japanese face masks to shrink our double chins!

Jade: I went to Japan’s equivalent of Boots and they have face masks that you can wear that can shrink your face. You wear it to go to bed and it’s like a Hannibal Lecter mask and it squashes your face. I bought one of the chin ones because it’s supposed to get rid of your double chin.

“Our approach to haircare is super low-maintenance”

Perry: Jade and I literally don’t ever wash our hair. So dry shampoo is a must. Obviously we use oils in the ends if it’s dry and then we just dry shampoo the root. We all have naturally really curly hair but because we get so much damage, some bits will curl and some bits will just go floppy and frizzy. But the best thing I do is get out the shower, towel dry my hair so it’s damp – maybe put a bit of mousse in it – and get my cousin to plait it. She braids it into plaits and then it’s just the nicest waves.

Jessy and Leigh-Anne: We all use Argan oil on our hair because our hair gets really dry.

“We only work out when we can be bothered”

Jade: Sometimes I train, if I can be arsed. I’m just trying to eat healthier now, and recently tried being vegan for a week and I did genuinely feel better for it but it’s just so hard to keep up.

Perry: I swear by vitamins – especially Vitamin C – and I’m always lacking in vitamin D because I never get any sunlight because I’m always locked away – studio life – but I always feel vitamins are really important.

I love juices, too. My boyfriend [footballer Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain], is really healthy and he likes those bitty juice full of vegetables but I can’t! If it doesn’t taste nice, I cant do it. It has to be flavoursome, so carrots, apples, ginger and a bit of celery.

Jessy: When I start feeling rank, when I know I’ve indulged too much, then I start exercising. I started training again and I feel so much better in myself. I think we all have our moments when we will eat really healthy and then we all have days when we will eat rubbish but we never ever stick to just eating healthy all the time – we’re not like that. We love our junk food as well. Boxing is my absolute favourite, I love it because it makes me feel like I’m not exercising.

Celebrity vegans who make eating more veg look seriously sexy

Leigh-Ann: I just turned vegan and for me, it’s making me eat so much healthier – it’s just vegetables all the time, so let’s see how long I can last. I love legs, bums and tums classes.

“We used to be so insecure but now we’ve learnt to accept them and we love the things we used to hate”

Jesy: Not to be big-headed but we are all at a stage where we really do enjoy ourselves at the moment. A couple of years ago, I would have said we were all quite insecure and felt like we hated certain things about our faces and our body and now we have just learnt to accept them and genuinely things I hated, I now love. I like my boobs and… I just like everything at the moment, I’m really enjoying myself! You need to embrace it! I don’t care about having a fake bum; I’m just happy with my nice, normal, jiggly bum.

Leigh-Ann: I love my little bum and my waist.

Jade: I like my eyes. I love my skin colour and I used to really want a boob job because I use to really hate my boobs because I’ve got like a double A but now I’m like f*** it, I love my boobs. I’m rocking it now and it’s really weird because if you asked me that six years ago, I would have been *sad* but ask us now and I’m like ��come and get me!’ I just learnt to love them and I feel a lot better for it, I don’t feel insecure putting on a dress and being like, ‘oh I don’t have a cleavage” but being like ‘well, it’s just what my mamma gave me’.

Perry: People either love my eyebrows or hate them so they’re like Marmite. I love them, I love a thick busy brow. I used to have tiny boobs and everybody in my family has big knockers and I was like, “um, where’s mine?” and then they just appeared one day out of nowhere, I was like “oh my god, guys, I’m going to have to wear a bra now because I wasn’t wearing a bra because I didn’t have anything in them – it was just an empty hammock! I also love my skin now. I had SO many issues with my skin, like my bacne – I hated it so bad and it’s just cleared up now. No one told me that the contraception I was on would give me acne but as soon as I came off it and I changed pill, my skin cleared up.

The best acne treatments and spot-busters in the business

We spend our downtime meditating and spreading sage around the house

Jade: I’m trying to mediate but I find it really hard to switch off. My boyfriend loves meditating so I’m trying to learn off him, so I’ve downloaded some apps like Headspace. They are really good though and I’m into crystals as well. And I love sage, if I’m having a really bad day, I put sage around the room.

Perry: I meditated a lot on tour because when we get off stage, we’re really full of adrenaline it’s impossible to sleep so I downloaded an app.

“We love our industry sisters”

Jade: We love Ariana after we went on tour with her, she’s a little sweetheart. We also love Jess Glynne and Ann-Marie, who I feel is just like us.

Perry: She’s just the nicest human and she’s bonkers, she’s fun, she doesn’t take herself too serious but she’s SO talented. I love her.

“We blow all our money on everyone else but we wouldn’t have it any other way”

Jade: My favourite moment since finding fame was buying my mum and dad a house. It was the best feeling in the world. Looking after your family and making sure they don’t have to worry anymore is the best thing.

Perry: Yeah same. We’re very generous aren’t we?! Everything I like to blow money on is for everyone else. I reckon if we had driving licenses and we could drive, we would blow it all on cars.

Now time to re-live some of our ultimate all time favourite Little Mix beauty looks…