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captainsophiestark · 2 years ago

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A Reverse Steve Rogers

Jack Thompson x Reader

Masterlist - Taglist

Requested by @hawaiianpizzaenjoyer !! Thanks for the request, and for being so patient while I got it done! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Y/N, an Avenger, friend of Tony Stark, and the one who helped Steve Rogers adjust to the 21st century after he came out of the ice, gets flung back into the 1940s when something goes wrong on a training mission. She has no idea how long her stay in the 40s might be, but one way or another, it's going to be interesting.

Word Count: 4,684

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: This doesn't follow any of the season 2 timeline lol, just some vague stuff put together for the sake of this story.

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"We could always just find another ticket for her and make up a reason for her to be there on her own..."

"Yeah? Like what? At this event, anybody with the slightest hole in their story is gonna stick out like a sore thumb.”

I looked between Peggy Carter and Daniel Sousa as they talked, frantically trying to figure out what to do with me tonight. They were currently in the middle of breaking up a secret society in Los Angeles, and they had a mission disguised as a date tonight where they'd be infiltrating a fancy party being thrown by said society.

Unfortunately for them, I'd landed in their laps (pretty literally) this afternoon, and accidentally thrown a wrench into their whole operation.

One minute, I'd been doing a training mission with the Avengers. The next, I'd been falling on top of a desk in the SSR in 1947. I still didn't know exactly what had thrown me back in time, but no matter what the cause, the fact didn't change that I was here, and would be for the foreseeable future.

I'd almost had a heart attack when I'd looked up to see THE Peggy Carter, founder of SHIELD and total badass, standing in front of me. I think I freaked her and Daniel out a little by fangirling the minute I got up off the floor, but a stranger landing in the middle of their super high-level organization probably would've landed me in the interrogation room anyway.

Thankfully, I knew Steve Rogers pretty well, and so did Peggy. I'd mentioned his name briefly when trying to explain how I knew who she was, but then I'd been able to use what I knew about Steve and the stories he'd shared with me to convince her I was telling the truth about time travel.

Since then, we'd done some brief introductions and I'd been let out of the interrogation room. I'd been given the bare minimum details of the mission to understand the conversation, and now I sat on the edge of a desk watching Daniel and Peggy talk as they tried to adjust their plans.

"Perhaps Mr. Jarvis would be available on short notice to take her as a date..." mused Peggy.

"Whoa, Jarvis? Oh my gosh, the real person Jarvis is alive and walking around right now. That makes sense," I said, mostly talking to myself.

"That still doesn't solve the problem of them not being on the guest list," continued Daniel, he and Peggy only briefly glancing my way at the outburst.

"Maybe Howard could help us secure another two."

"He already wore out his welcome with these guys to get you in there the first time."

"Did you just say Howard? As in Howard Stark?"

Peggy and Daniel groaned in unison.

"Don't tell me you're a big fan of him too?" groaned Daniel.

"His ego's already big enough as it is," Peggy agreed.

"No, it's not that, I- uh... nevermind." I pushed off the desk, waving off thoughts of Tony. I still wasn't clear on how this time travel stuff worked, and I didn't want to go telling people about Howard Stark's currently nonexistent son without more assurance it wouldn't have any crazy impact first. "Look, you guys clearly don't have space for me in this mission. The best path is a small team, specifically a couple, who can enjoy the night like a regular date while still gathering intel and handling the mission."

Peggy and Daniel shared a look, and I could see an entire conversation passing between them. I continued.

"I might not know much about the forties, but I'm still a capable adult. I'm an Av- I was on a team with Steve to take on missions around the world. I'll be fine handling myself for a bit while you guys take care of business."

"Are you sure?" asked Peggy with a frown.

"We don't want to completely abandon you. Disappearing from your own time and reappearing in another can't be easy," added Daniel.

I gave them a faint smile, momentarily overwhelmed with memories. I'd first met Steve when he'd shown up in the future and needed someone to help him adjust. I'd been a SHIELD agent at the time, responsible for liaising with Tony Stark, so they figured helping a living legend adjust would be nothing compared to that.

They'd been right, and we'd hit it off the bat. When Tony eventually formed the team, I'd been on the roster. And now, I was the one being faced with adjusting to another time.

"It's not easy," I said to Daniel, the smile still on my face. "But I also don't need babysitters when those babysitters have important, world-saving duties to attend to. I actually have a little bit of an advantage, going back in time. I took history classes and whatnot, so I at least have some idea of how this world works."

"Well, if you're sure-"

"Alright! Sousa, Marge, fear not! The cavalry is here."

I turned at the sound of a new voice, but not before I caught Peggy and Daniel rolling their eyes so far back into their heads I couldn't see the pupils. A tall, blond man in a suit was striding across the room towards us, and a second after I started sizing him up he noticed me and did the same.

"Who's this?" he asked, coming to a stop in front of us. Peggy and Daniel didn't answer right away, apparently working together to gather mental strength before entering the conversation with this guy. I just leaned back a bit against the desk and watched.

Peggy and Daniel took a second to make significant eye contact, then sighed as one. Daniel turned to Jack, and Peggy subtly shifted closer to me.

"She's somebody who does a job like ours, but from the future," said Daniel. Jack just stared at him for a minute, then looked to me, and then back at Daniel.

"Sousa, despite what you might think, I'm not stupid."

"Jack, I get that it's hard to believe, but if you actually listen for two seconds-"

Jack huffed and crossed his arms while Daniel kept talking. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Peggy leaning in towards me, and I blocked out the boys' argument as she whispered to me.

"Y/N, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Hit me," I whispered back. Peggy sighed.

"Jack has recently had a moral epiphany," she started. I took half a second to give her a curious glance, and she just rolled her eyes in response. "It's been mostly nice, both to have him on our side and to finally have him respecting me and Daniel and anyone that's not an older man already in power.

"That said, we don't have space for him on this mission. All he's going to do is be a nuisance, and he's far less likely to agree to being benched than you."

"And I take it you have a solution for this?"

"Yes. But it would require throwing you under the bus to keep him occupied tonight."

I paused for a second, giving Jack another good look. He and Sousa were still in the middle of a heated argument while Sousa tried to convince him I was actually a time traveler, and even though they both seemed exasperated, Jack also seemed to be enjoying the back and forth. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.

"Peggy Carter, it would be an absolute honor to assist you on a mission," I said, turning to her with a smile. "Even if it means spending the evening learning about the forties from a slightly questionable teacher."

"You're a lifesaver," she said, giving me a smile back. She pushed off the desk, moving towards Daniel and Jack to interrupt them but shooting me a wink first. "And don't worry, I'll give you an actual introduction to the decade after this mission is over."

I nodded, then Peggy got Jack and Daniel's attention to put their argument to rest and explain the situation. Jack raised an eyebrow when Peggy told him his job would be keeping me company, but she phrased it well enough that it didn't quite sound like babysitting for either of us. Finally, he agreed, and Peggy and Daniel headed out for their event, leaving me and Jack Thompson alone in the bullpen of the LA SSR.

He stood by the windows, staring out at the traffic below as I spun around in a swivel chair. I kept looking at him, but he didn't look over at me once, at least not that I could catch. Finally, after a few more rotations, I huffed a sigh and pushed myself up. I put my hands on my hips, but Jack still didn't look over.

"Alright, I'm bored out of my mind, which should not be a possibility less than three hours after I suddenly appeared in a different time period," I said. Jack finally looked over at me, raising an unimpressed eyebrow as he did. I continued. "You're supposed to be helping me adjust to this place, since I don't know how long I'm gonna be here. Believe it or not, it didn't take me that long to adjust to this office."

He sighed heavily, but stepped away from the window anyway, stopping a few feet in front of me with his arms across his chest. He stared at me for a few seconds without saying anything, and I just stared right back. I crossed my arms to mirror him and he snorted and rolled his eyes.

"You're really from the future?" he finally asked.

"Did the twenty minutes Peggy and Daniel spent convincing you not settle this matter?"

He grunted, then finally dropped his arms back to his sides.

"Fine. What do you want to do then?"

I grinned. "Any good places to grab a drink and a dance around here?”

****************

"This is only my first week in LA, so if this place ends up being terrible, it's the city's fault and not mine," said Jack as we stepped out of the cab together. I'd taken a second to find a dress to steal from Peggy's emergency disguise stash at the SSR, since my 21st century mission clothes would probably cause a riot if I went out in them, and then Jack and I had jumped in a cab to a spot in town he'd heard about.

"Boooo," I teased as he paid the driver and we headed in together. "You can't consider the possibility of the night being a failure before it's even started! It's a jinx."

"A jinx?"

"Yeah, you know. Like bad luck."

"I know the definition of the word jinx," he scoffed. "I just think it's ridiculous you believe in them."

"Oh, yeah, of course. Actually, I didn't want to tell Peggy and Daniel this, but in the future we've discovered that a lot of things people dismissed as superstitions or bad luck are actually true. Like jinxes. Oh, and breaking a mirror? That actually will mess you up! We didn't realize it until science advanced a little further, I think in the seventies, but it's true."

Jack stared at me for a few seconds, and I stared back with a perfectly neutral expression on my face. Then, he broke into a grin and nudged me with his shoulder.

"You're messing with me."

"I definitely am."

He scoffed and shook his head, but the smile didn't drop off his face. He sighed dramatically, looking up at the club in front of us, then held out his arm for me to take.

"C'mon. You're the one who wanted to experience the time period."

I smiled up at him, then looped my arm through his. He pulled me a little closer, and I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't speed up a bit as we walked into the club together.

Immediately I got hit with the music I associated with the swinging jazz of the 1940s as we stepped into a world of men in suits and women in old-style dresses, all twirling across the dancefloor together.

"Whoa," I breathed. Suddenly, it started to sink in that I was actually in the 1940s, more than 80 years from everything and everyone I knew. A new surge of sympathy for Steve welled up in my chest.

"You alright?" asked Jack, nudging me a little as we stood in the doorway. I took a deep breath in and out, then slowly nodded. "Okay, good. Let's go get a drink.”

I huffed a laugh as he pulled me through the crowd and towards the bar. We managed to find two stools, and Jack pulled my seat out for me before I sat down. I couldn't help giving him a slightly bemused look, which he grunted about as he took the seat next to me.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said, waving him off. "Just, you know... forties."

He turned to stare at me, his eyebrows knit together, but the bartender appeared before he could question what I was talking about.

"What can I get the two of you?" asked the bartender. Jack turned to me, letting me go first.

"I'll have an old fashioned, please."

Both he and Jack looked at me for a second, but I looked right back at both of them like they were crazy for questioning it (because they were). After a second, Jack shrugged and turned back to the bartender.

"I'll do the same."

The bartender nodded, then moved away to make the drinks. I turned and gave Jack a smile.

"Thanks for buying," I said. "I didn't have my wallet on me when I got sucked back in time, and even if I did, I don't think the bartender would be able to accept the kind of bills I carry. I'm not trying to get arrested for counterfeiting a few hours into being in the past."

Jack chuckled. "Sure thing. So, an old fashion, huh?"

"Yeah. It's Ton- uh, it's my friend's favorite drink. He got me drinking them, too."

"Hm. Future sounds like a wild place."

"Honestly, I'd say 1940 is a little wilder."

The bartender set down our drinks, and Jack put a few bills on the table. Then, once he was out of earshot again, I turned to Jack with a smile.

"Cheers," I said, raising my glass in toast. "To new experiences and getting to know each other and this weird ass trip back to the past."

Jack smiled, although I could tell he was fighting it, and clinked his glass with mine before we both took a sip.

"So, Jack Thompson... tell me about the forties."

Jack and I spent the next hour talking about everything from foods that hadn't been invented yet (ranch dressing!) to the weird, national popularity of baseball and how I couldn't wait to see people start getting the memo about the NBA. Some of it was informative, even helpful, but for the most part we just... talked. Laughed. Joked around and enjoyed each other's company like people who'd known each other much longer than a few hours.

For some reason, it just felt easy. Going into this, heading out with someone who was clearly a confident, if not arrogant, man from the 1940s, with Peggy's warnings on top of everything else? Well, let's just say I didn't have the highest of hopes. But by some miracle, whether it was our equally loud and teasing personalities or that fact that I proudly didn't know anything about baseball beyond the fact that games took way too long, rather than the ignorance or indifference he had been expecting... Jack Thompson and I got on like wildfire.

"I'm just saying, when you're watching a legend play, that's the only part of the game that matters!" Jack continued, defending his baseball stance. "And DiMaggio's a legend."

"Yeah, no shit," I scoffed, rolling my eyes to go with it. Jack snorted at my language, but I caught him grinning at me all the same as he took a sip from his drink. "But, unlike in other sports, your legend's only playing for like fifteen minutes out of every hour. Still boring!"

Jack opened his mouth, clearly ready with some other comeback that would do absolutely nothing to change my position, but before he could, the band started up with something I actually recognized.

"Oh my God!" I cried, setting down the now-empty glass that previously held my second old fashioned. "This song- we have to go dance!"

"You know this song?" asked Jack, only looking slightly bemused as he set down his glass and I dragged him towards the dance floor.

"Yeah. Steve plays it all. The damned. Time," I said, finally coming to a stop in the middle of the floor. I moved to drop Jack's hand now that I'd gotten him out here, but he just squeezed it tighter and pulled me closer. "It's one of the only songs from the forties he plays that I can actually stand."

Jack scoffed, wrapping an arm around my waist as we started twirling across the floor together. "You're actually friends with him? Sousa wasn't making that whole thing up?"

"What? No. Actually, I'm the one that helped him adjust to the future not long after he woke up in my time."

Jack nodded, looking thoughtful. "So that's why you recognized Carter? Sousa said you almost fainted from excitement when you first saw her."

"No. I mean, sort of, I guess. But I would've known her even without Steve. She's only the coolest, most badass woman and intelligence pioneer the world has ever known," I said. Jack snorted, and I scowled. "What? You disagree?"

He shrugged. "I mean, I'd probably argue there are some other intelligence pioneers that deserve mention. But... I guess no, I don't necessarily disagree. Just don't mention it to her, alright? I'll deny it, and I don't need her immortalization from a time traveler being thrown in my face every time I work a case with her for the rest of time."

I laughed, and Jack gave me a knowing smile before spinning me out and away from him. He twirled me across the floor before pulling me back to him quickly. We moved in perfect harmony, picking up our pace to match the band and putting the other couples to shame. We quickly got lost in our own little world, to the point that everyone and everything except the music disappeared. When Jack sped up, I sped up a little more, and we easily met each other's challenges, stupid smiles on our faces the whole time.

When a slower song started playing, Jack and I finally relaxed the pace, forgoing the elaborate dance moves to just sway in place and catch our breaths for a minute. I was still a little lost in our moment, enough so that I didn't notice someone else approaching us until he shoved himself part way between me and Jack.

"Hey doll. Mind if I cut in?" The guy leered over me, totally ignoring Jack as he reached for my hand without waiting for my answer. I scoffed, my tired-but-happy smile instantly turning into a scowl. Jack seemed equally frustrated and moved as if he was about to step in and do something about it, but I decided to just take care of it for the both of us.

"Actually, yeah, I do mind," I snapped, fixing the guy with an unimpressed look as I snatched my hand out of his reach. He seemed incredibly surprised by my response, but I plowed ahead anyway. "I'm dancing with someone already, and even if I weren't, I have no interest at all in dancing with you. So... scram. Or beat it. Or whatever people say now."

The man just stood there for a second, open-mouthed, blinking at me in stunned silence. Then, his expression shifted into a scowl and his face started to turn red.

"I- You- How dare you-!"

"Dude, get lost," I said, crossing my arms and staring him down as I talked over him. I glanced over his shoulder to Jack, who also looked shocked but in a pleasantly surprised way, and addressed him. "What's another good way to tell someone to go away?"

He shrugged, a delighted smile growing on his face. "Take a powder?"

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Jack just nodded, so I looked back at the rude guy. "Alright, take a powder. Hit the bricks. Take a long walk off a short pier. Other creative ways to say leave. I want to dance to this lovely song with my dance partner here, who is not you, so... yeah. Take the blatant instructions."

The man whirled around to Jack, like he expected him to say or do something to reign me in. Jack just shrugged again.

"You heard the lady. I'm not gonna tell you anything she didn't already say."

The man scowled, whipping back to look at me again. I just met him with crossed arms and a look that told him I wouldn't be budging an inch. He spluttered a few more incoherent words in indignation, then stormed off the dance floor and out of sight. I sighed, then faced Jack again.

"How wildly out of place was that for the time period? Both him and me?" I asked. Jack grinned.

"Him? Not very. You? Insanely," he said, taking my hand again as we went back to gently swaying in place. He tugged me a little closer to his chest, and I smiled. "I gotta say though, I sure enjoyed watching it."

"Good. Because I don't actually care at all, and I had a lot of fun doing that."

Jack laughed, throwing his head back before fixing me with a brilliant smile. He twirled me out and away from him again, then pulled me right back into his chest. We swayed together, closer than we'd been all night, and to my surprise I started noticing more than a few butterflies squirming in my chest as I stared up at the SSR Chief. Hm, noted the more logical side of my brain as we moved across the crowded dance floor. Nice, my heart replied as Jack's strong hand laid firmly on my waist and my hand traveled to the collar of his shirt.

Jack and I spent the rest of the night at the club, enjoying the music, the dancing, and each other's company until the place turned on the lights and threw us out. A few times, other men came up to hit on me and "steal me away" from Jack. Each time, I dressed them down and sent them on their way, and each time Jack just grinned and watched me do it. I could still tell he was ready to jump in, that his instinct was to take care of it for me, but he seemed to enjoy watching the jerks splutter and babble in shock and surprise as much as I did.

Afterwards, when we wandered back out onto the LA street together, Jack insisted on escorting me back to Howard Stark's place, where I'd be staying with Peggy. It was going to be incredibly weird staying at Tony's dad's house, meeting him and the real-human Jarvis, but I could process that later. Right now, I wanted to focus on the amazing, less-weird parts of being in the 40s. Specifically Jack Thompson, who I'd just spent a wonderful night enjoying this new time period with.

Jack hailed us a cab, and I rested my head on his shoulder and watched the city go by as the taxi took us out of the city, to the massive Stark mansion. It was basically a 40s version of Tony's Malibu house, and a pang of sadness tightened in my chest when I realized I had no idea when–or if–I would see my friends again.

I took a deep breath and shook those thoughts out of my head as the car came to a stop. All of that was a problem for later, not now. Jack got out first, holding the door for me and offering a hand to help me out, which I took. Rather than dropping it once I stood, he wrapped it around his arm as he asked the cabbie to wait and escorted me towards the house. We stopped on the porch and turned to face each other, and I realized I actually really didn't want the night to end.

"Thanks for showing me around the forties," I said, giving Jack a small smile. "It was actually really fun."

"You don't have to sound so surprised," he griped, but a smile made its way onto his face all the same. "So... I don't know how long you're gonna be here, and obviously we've got a lot of other work to do with Carter and Sousa tomorrow, but... maybe I could take you out again sometime. There's still a lot of forties you haven't seen yet."

"I'd like that," I said, a warm feeling welling up in my chest. I hesitated a second as Jack and I stared at each other on the doorstep, then decided to say fuck it and keep doing what I'd been doing all night: following my impulses. "Quick question: in the forties, if I kiss you on the first date, is that going to scare you off or something?"

Jack grinned. "It might get a raised eyebrow from the cabbie, but I sure as shit won't be complaining."

"Good."

With that, I grabbed Jack's lapels and tugged him towards me, leaning up just a bit and giving him a kiss. It was short, really just a quick peck since we'd just met, but fireworks exploded in my chest at the sensation anyway.

Jack's grin stayed in place as we pulled apart, and his hand lingered on my waist an extra second before dropping to his side. He took a step backwards, towards the waiting car, even as his eyes stayed on mine. I rested my hand on the doorknob, watching Jack and trying to stay in the moment even as he walked away.

"Welcome to the forties, sweetheart," he called as he made it down the porch steps and into the driveway. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

I waved, a smile on my own face to match his. "Can't wait."

Jack gave a short wave and one last grin before getting into the cab. I watched as he drove away, a smile still on my own face even after I knew he couldn't see it. Finally, after the lights of the cab faded back into the LA night, I turned on my heel and walked into the house.

I'd been in the 40s for less than twelve hours, and I knew for a fact that I hadn't even scratched the tip of the iceberg on exploring the time period, or what frustrations being eighty years removed from everything I knew would bring. But, despite all that, I'd had a blast tonight, and tomorrow I'd get to start working with THE Peggy Carter. Whether I was only here for another few hours or it turned into months or longer, I couldn't help being excited at the idea of everything that was yet to come for me, not least of all my next date with Jack Thompson.

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slamminslamminmcgill · 1 year ago

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Chicanerous - Jimmy McGill/Male Reader (NSFW!)

jimmy brings you to meet his brother chuck. though due to chuck's homophobic behavior towards jimmy in the past, jimmy wants revenge. he has you wear a vibrator to chuck's house and sneakily controls it in front of him. tags/warnings: vibrators, sex toys, voyeurism, exhibitionism, referenced homophobia anatomical terms: none! (this was completely unintentional so if you're a cis man/amab enjoy ig lol) words: 3,115 ao3 link author's notes: i hate you chuck mcgill 😌

“Forty bucks.”

“No.”

“Fifty.”

“Jimmy, I’m not doing this.”

“…Forty-five.”

“Did you just go down?”

“Oh, good, you are listening!” Jimmy laughed, “But seriously. Fifty-five? C’mon! It’ll be the easiest money you’ve ever made… and the sexiest.”

That was probably true, but it’d also be the most humiliating and mean-spirited way to earn a quick buck. You refused yet again. “Jimmy, no. I’m not going to harass your brother like this. I’ve never even met the guy!”

“Trust me, you’re not missing much. Chuck’s a…” Jimmy paused and tried to think of a nicer word than ‘asshole’. “Let’s call him an acquired taste. If you have a taste for mothballs and bigotry, that is.”

“Bigotry?” You questioned. “Oh, god, don’t tell me-”

But he told you. “Raging homophobe! Jesus, when I was like 14, I told him I think I like boys and girls, and he practically dragged me by the ear to our local church for confession. He said he was doing me a favor by not telling our parents. Can you believe that?” Jimmy scoffed, but there was a profound sadness oozing out of his pores. He sniffled and cracked his neck; you hoped it wasn’t to choke back tears.

You could see the pain in Jimmy’s demeanor and empathized with him. “Really? God, that’s so fucked, I’m so sorry. And he never apologized?”

“Are you kidding?! He thinks he’s the Messiah!” Jimmy dropped the box he was holding on the table and paced around your living room. “The ever-infallible Charles McGill Jr.! He thinks I’m the one who needs to repent for living a sinner’s lifestyle. He really goes above and beyond, y’know. Hates the sin and the sinner.” He plopped down on your couch and sighed.

You sat down next to him and put an arm around his back. Concerned, yet confused. “Why do you still talk to him, then?”

“His condition.” Jimmy explained, “He can’t take care of himself, so he needs me to brave the electricity-ridden world for him and get him what he needs. So, he kinda has to keep me around. That’s the only reason he’s even agreed to meet you.”

That tracked. A homophobe who pushed his younger brother to pray the gay away would probably not be too kind to said younger brother’s boyfriend. “So… what, he only cares about you because you keep him alive? That’s shitty. Fuck him.”

“Fuck him, indeed.” Jimmy concurred, “You know what? Nevermind. Don’t even worry about meeting him, honestly. I shouldn’t have even brought it up. No sense in bringing you over there if he’s not gonna like you, anyway.”

That gave you an idea. If Chuck wouldn’t like you on your best behavior, why bother with pleasantries? If he was going to think you were a degenerate pervert regardless of what you did, why not have a little fun and hit a homophobe where it hurts? Fuck turning the other cheek; take the upper hand.

“...I’ll do it.”

You squirmed in the passenger seat of Jimmy’s two-toned Suzuki Esteem. The vibrator wasn’t invasive, but it made its presence known. It was hard to sit still with it inside you. You needed friction.

“Well, someone’s got ants in their pants!” Jimmy chuckled and killed the ignition. “It’ll probably sound more like bees once I turn it on, though.” He fished a small remote out of his pocket and pressed the power button. A singular vibration pulsed through you, making you jump.

“How loud does this thing get?” You asked.

“It probably won’t be too obvious at first since it’s under your clothes, but he’s definitely gonna hear it once it really gets going. Now, let’s rap for a second.” Jimmy put the remote back in his pocket, unbuckled his seatbelt, and faced you. “No matter how loud it gets, you don’t hear it, I don’t hear it. We lie through our teeth and make Chuck feel like he’s going crazy. You get me?”

You got him, “Yeah, sure,” though there was an obvious hole in his plan, “But, like… if it’s vibrating, I’m gonna be, like… moaning and stuff like that. Wouldn’t he notice that?”

Jimmy waved you off, “Cover it up, if you can. Make whatever excuse you gotta. But if you can’t or he starts to question you, I’ll step in. You’ll be fine. You ready?”

“I guess.” You unbuckled your seatbelt and stepped out of the car. Jimmy locked it and squeezed behind you, making his way to the mailbox.

“Gotta put all your electronics in here. Anything with a battery can set him off. He’ll know if you forget something.” Jimmy loudly proclaimed as he opened the mailbox and stuffed his phone, watch, and keys inside. When he was done, he grabbed you by your hips and whispered in your ear. “He’s watching.”

Your eyes scanned the front of the empty-looking house, and sure enough, you saw two fingers pulling the blinds apart, and disgruntled eyes peering through them. You flinched, and hastily dug in your pocket for your phone. “Jesus…” you grumbled. “Fifty-five bucks for this, right?”

“How’s about forty-five and the best head you’ve ever gotten?” Jimmy kissed the back of your head as you closed the mailbox.

You spun around and flicked his forehead. “Nope. Fifty-five. And don’t act like you’re not gonna give me head regardless.”

“Oh, you know I will.” Jimmy smiled at you. Some tapping on the window broke up your intimate moment. Chuck was getting impatient. “Coming!” Jimmy called out and grabbed your hand, leading you up the walkway to Chuck’s front door. He stopped you in front of a metal pole. “Ground yourself.”

“What?”

“Just tap the thingy.” Jimmy demonstrated by tapping his finger on the pole, and you did the same. Having grounded yourselves, you were ready to enter. Jimmy knocked on the door, and Chuck answered with faux hospitality.

“Welcome! Jimmy, good to see you, as always. And, uh… what was your name again?” You could tell he was fighting to fake a smile for you.

You reminded him of your name and offered your hand to shake. “Pleasure to meet you. Jimmy’s told me so much about you.”

Chuck hesitated before grabbing your hand, as if being gay was contagious. Physical contact with a homosexual was sure to poison him with an unquenchable craving for cock and balls. Nevertheless, he persisted, taking your hand in his and offering a limp, wet noodle handshake. “Oh, all good things, I hope?”

“Of course!” You lied.

“Well, come on in.” Chuck stepped aside and allowed you to enter his delusional home. “I apologize for the darkness. Jimmy informed you of my condition, I presume?”

“He did, yeah. It must be tough to live with,” You answered with mock sympathy, in reality you couldn’t give less of a fuck about his living situation. It’s not like you’d ever be invited over again after today. Still, you tried to come up with a compliment. “You seem to be handling it really well, though. I’d imagine you have to get pretty creative. I don’t know what I’d do in your position.”

Jimmy swooped in to back you up. “I told you he’s a smart guy! Managed to build a life for himself in the 21st century without any tech whatsoever. I don’t know anyone else who could solve a problem like that.”

Chuck forced some laughter out, “Ah, well, I do what I can to get by. Please, have a seat.” He gestured to the couch, where you and Jimmy sat down. He situated himself across from you, and folded his hands in his lap. “So, how did you meet my brother?”

“Well, actually, I-”

Click

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

You should’ve seen that coming, but you didn’t. With no warning, Jimmy had ignited the vibrator, which was now rattling against your sensitive walls. You gasped, but faked a sneeze to cover it up.

It was on the lowest setting, so thankfully Chuck didn’t notice the noise. “Bless you.”

“Thank you…” You replied. Already, your nerves were on fire. You knew Jimmy wouldn’t rush out the gate guns blazing, but this was much harder than you expected it to be. You couldn’t imagine you’d keep up the charade for very long. It took you a while to catch your train of thought. “We, uh… I work at the…” You swallowed a moan, ”...the nail salon, where he lives, and I… I saw him come in one day, and, like… I just kinda… shot my shot, I guess.”

Chuck raised an eyebrow. “You seem tense. Are you feeling alright?”

You nodded, hoping your body wasn’t shaking as much as the toy was. “Nerves, sorry.”

Jimmy slung an arm around you and hugged you from the side. “He’s just a little anxious, that’s all. He wants to make a good impression.”

Chuck nodded, content with that explanation. “Right, right. Well, I must say I’m not… thrilled, that my brother is with another man, but I hope that-”

Click

That son of a bitch. Jimmy turned it up. In the middle of Chuck’s sentence. You had no time to stall your reaction, groaning audibly and grabbing Jimmy’s leg for support.

“You feeling alright, babe?” Jimmy asked, brushing some hair out of your face as you leaned into him, his other hand tucked into his pocket with the remote. “Jeez, you’re all red. You took your meds today, right?”

If anything, you appreciated Jimmy’s ability to lie on the spot. There was no medication for you to have taken. It was bullshit, all the way down. You let him lead, your dance partner in the tango of dishonesty. “I… I thought I did… Today’s Wednesday, right?”

Jimmy gave you a concerned, sheepish look. “Today’s Thursday, honey.”

Click

“Oh fuck,” You moaned, and upon realizing where you were, slapped your hand over your mouth and apologized to Chuck. “O-Oh my god! I’m sorry! I-I don’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s… quite alright,” Chuck replied, his skepticism slowly inching upward. “Would you like some water?”

Jimmy answered for you. “Water would be great, thanks. He gets dehydrated easily.”

As Chuck stood up to get you some water, Jimmy pressed the button one more time, making the vibrator buzz harder and louder. Finally, it was enough for Chuck to hear.

Chuck winced, his face contorted in pain as he stared you both down. “Is that… Is that a cell phone?”

Jimmy hugged you closer to him and stroked your hair, pretending to comfort you through your “symptoms”. He gave Chuck an incredulous look. “What? What’re you talking about? Do you hear something?”

“Y-Yes, actually. I hear something… vibrating… like a cell phone.” Chuck grimaced and grit his teeth to bear the pain. “Jimmy, I thought you told him.”

Jimmy went on the defense, “I did! Chuck, I swear, we put all our devices in the mailbox. There’s nothing here that could be vibrating. Are you sure that’s what it is?”

You backed him up, “Y-Yeah, I don’t…” and took a deep breath to maintain poise, “I don’t hear anything either.”

And Jimmy scored the goal. “And he has great ears, too. He’s got perfect pitch. He’s actually in school to be a classical pianist. So if he doesn’t hear it, I kinda gotta take his word for it.”

Another lie. You couldn’t play piano to save your life, but goddamn, Jimmy could play anyone to save his.

Chuck wasn’t backing down, though his composure was starting to slip. “I-I’m serious. I hear something vibrating. Are you telling me you two seriously don’t hear that?”

Jimmy sighed, pitying his brother and his circumstances. “Chuck, buddy, no one else hears what you’re talking about. Just… How about you just go in the kitchen for a bit, take a breather, and maybe it’ll be gone when you come back?”

Chuck didn’t answer Jimmy. He scurried into the kitchen and away from the offending sound.

Once he was sure Chuck was gone, Jimmy switched the vibrator off, finally giving you a moment to breathe. He kissed you on the cheek and whispered to you, “Isn’t this fun? You’re doing great.”

You giggled and kissed him back, “It’s… definitely exciting. You’re a genius.”

“I know, I know. That little piece of plastic is making you feel real good, huh?”

“Yeah…”

“Not as good as me though, right?”

“Not by a longshot.”

Chuck returned with three glasses of water, one in each hand and cradling the other under his arm. “My apologies for that,” he said as he set the glasses down on the table. He took his seat once more. “Well, Jimmy, I hate to say it, but you were right. I don’t hear that sound anymore, and I feel perfectly fine. I wonder what that could’ve been.”

Jimmy picked up his glass. “Are your coolers good? Maybe you ate some spoiled food and it’s giving you hallucinations. That’s what they say happened in the Salem Witch Trials.” He took a sip and set it down on the table.

You did the same, chugging half the glass in one go, playing into the easily dehydrated lie.

“No, no, the coolers are fine. I don’t think that would’ve done it.” Chuck drank some of his water and turned his attention to you, hoping to steer the conversation away from his ailment. “So! You’re a classical pianist?”

You gave him a timid smile, unsure of how you should be acting due to your medical condition that Jimmy decided you had. “Y-Yeah, I, uh… Been playing since I was three. I’m a senior at UNM.” Lies upon lies, you hoped they were as good as Jimmy’s. But if not, he’d have your back.

Chuck smiled, warmer than you expected from him. Were you actually impressing him? “Well, that’s wonderful! I’m a huge fan of classical music. My ex-wife was a violinist.”

Jimmy butted in, “And a damn good one, at that! I guess McGill’s are drawn to musicians, huh?”

“Thank you, Jimmy.” Chuck said with a heaping spoonful of sarcasm. “You know, I actually have a grand piano here. Not to put you on the spot or anything, but do you think you could play-”

Clickclickclickclickclick

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Jimmy McGill was trying to get you killed.

Or, save your ass, because if he hadn’t intervened, you would’ve been pressured into bullshitting your way through a Beethoven sonata.

Or, make you cum in front of his homophobic brother, just to fuck with him.

Or, and most likely, all of the above.

He’d cranked the vibrator up to max, making you cry out in pleasure, and Chuck in pain. Thankfully, his brother was somehow louder than you were.

Chuck covered his ears and shouted, “Agh! It’s back! The buzzing! It’s back!” He jumped up and ran to open a cabinet, where he apparently kept large sheets of tinfoil to wrap himself in. As he put on his Chipotle burrito cosplay, he put the heat on his brother. “Jimmy, whatever you’re doing, whatever… device you two brought with you, just turn it off! Turn it off and get out of my house!”

“I’m not doing anything, Chuck!” Jimmy stood up and shouted over all the commotion, rushing to Chuck’s side. “I still don’t hear what you’re talking about! Where is it coming from?”

Chuck whipped his body around, the foil crinkling with his movements, and pointed a shaking finger at you. “Him! It’s coming from him! He’s got something on him, and I hear it! Don’t tell me it’s nothing!”

“He doesn’t have anything on him! I checked! He’s got no devices, doohickeys, gadgets, gizmos, nothing that could make that kind of-!” Suddenly, Jimmy froze, his expression melting to one of pure fear. You figured he’d get the letter for his Oscar nomination soon enough. “Oh no…”

“What?! What is it?!” Chuck panicked.

Jimmy hurried back to where you were sitting on the couch, and laid his hand on the left side of your chest. “It’s his pacemaker… It’s going crazy.”

It took everything within you to not burst out laughing. Or moaning. You bit your lip and let Jimmy do the talking as you rocked your hips back and forth on the couch cushion.

“His what?!” Chuck yelled the obvious question. “He’s so young, how the hell does he have a pacemaker?!”

“That’s none of your business, Chuck!” Jimmy grabbed your shoulders and pressed his forehead to yours. “I’m so sorry, honey. I didn’t think it’d be a problem. I’m gonna take you home, and you’re gonna take your meds, okay? You’re gonna be okay. Come on, upsy-daisy.”

Jimmy hoisted you up off the couch. The vibrator had done a number on your balance, and the new angle had it pressed up into just the right spot. You collapsed into him and moaned his name, not even trying to hide it anymore. “Oh, Jimmyyy…”

Playing it off like a champ, Jimmy shushed you and walked you towards the door. “I know, I know, sweetheart. It’s okay. You’re gonna be fine. I promise.” He opened the front door, and turned to his brother one last time. “I gotta get him home. We’ll talk later, Chuck. See ya.”

Even after the door was closed, he kept up the act as he walked you to the car, just in case Chuck was watching through the window. “There we go, almost there. We’ll get you home, baby boy, don’t you worry.” He opened the door for you and even buckled you in. When he walked around to his side, he saw Chuck peering through the windows again. He got in the driver’s seat, turned the car on, and sped down the block, past Chuck’s limited field of view.

Once Chuck was out of sight and out of mind, Jimmy turned the car and the vibrator off. He grabbed you and started kissing all over your face like a madman.

“That was amazing! Baby, you were perfect! You are a star! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Jimmy praised as he hugged you tight and kissed anywhere he could plant his lips on you.

You laughed hysterically, tickled pink from the thrill and your boyfriend’s cheesy affections. “Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome. That was crazy! What am I again? A college student with a pacemaker that’s training to be a classical pianist? How the fuck did you come up with that?!”

Jimmy laughed too, wiping tears of joy from his eyes. “Ah, a magician never reveals his tricks. I’ll get you the cash when we get back.” And like the magician he was, you didn’t see the sleight-of-hand of him reaching into his pocket. “But first…”

Clickclickclickclickclick

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

“How’s about we finish what we started?”

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reaperlight · 9 hours ago

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Dubious Advice

[Carnage found family au, Cletus trying to help Eddie out of his Post Venom 3 depression hole.]

Cletus [to Eddie]: Five years ago I was a fucking mess too and now I'm still a fucking mess but at peace with it and with a much cooler fashion sense.

Eddie: ...

Cletus: Look, I get it. When they took her... I know what it's like...

Eddie: No. No you don't. Look, I know you're... uh, trying to be helpful. But it's really not the same. It's worse than... worse than breaking up with Anne, worse than losing family. It's losing someone who you literally shared your body, your life with. Literally a part of you ripped away.

Cletus: I do know that. I felt that too. When you guys ate Carnage.

Eddie: Oh.

Cletus: Hey, no. Don't worry about it. I don't hold it against you. And see? She regenerated so no harm, no foul. We weren't as uh, close as we are now. As you and Venom were. At the time... it was even a relief. I thought at least I could die as myself--

Eddie: Cletus...

Cletus: Nevermind about that. I want you to know I do understand, Eddie. Even if I uh, my relationship with my symbiote is different from yours... I can understand your situation, and sympathize. They took Frances away from me, pretended she didn't exist, and forbade me from speaking her name. So you see, I do understand. But you at least know he's alive now. And you love him, right? So what are you gonna do about it?

Eddie: Huh?

Cletus: He chose you. So do you choose him?

Eddie: Of course.

Cletus: So what are you waitin' for? Go get him.

Eddie: But... I need him. I can't do it without him.

Cletus: Sure you can. If you were really determined you could just buy a hammer for like $12 dollars at the corner store--and they'll be just as dead as if you sicced your boy on them. Sounds like you were making your partner do all the hard work. But he needs you now.

Eddie: If the military has him I'm not gonna get him out with just a hammer.

Cletus: Well, I was just making a point but really you don't even need the hammer. You have your own two hands, don't you? So find the fucker who took your lover from you and crush his throat. It's easy.

Eddie: Maybe for you but I'm not... I'm not like you. Of course I want to get him! But it's the military, they've got guns, I wouldn't last five minutes--

Cletus: Well... uh, if you want... Frances and I knocked over a police station a few cities back. We've got some kevlar and gear you could use--

Cletus: [*Opening the trunk of the car which is filled with loads of weapons and gear*]

Eddie: [*Clearly baffled*]

Cletus: It's pretty self-explanatory. I'm sure you could figure it out.

Eddie: Uh...

Cletus: What? Did you want me to come with you, hold your hand? Baby's first murder? Well first time without hiding behind your symbiote--

Eddie: I, uh... are you offering?

Cletus [taken aback]: Oh. You do?

Eddie: If you're offering to help us, I really would appreciate it.

Cletus: Oh! I uh... I suppose I could if you want...

Eddie [patting him on the back, sincerely]: Thank you.

Cletus [visibly flustered]: You should still uh... take the lead on this though. We should probably try and keep Carnage and Venom away from each other because like she's still a bit sore about the whole uh getting eaten thing and wants to return the favor...

Eddie: Oh. And you're uh... not?

Cletus: Of course not, you're my friend. :)

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cruelestpigeon · 6 months ago

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THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES IMPRESSIONS: EP 95 - 99

EP 95: Absent Without Leave

Not that I’m complaining but why is Martin recording them when Jon is back? I like the war perspective, historical episodes are always interesting. Good on Basira for looking on the bright side of things.

EP 96: Return To Sender

Backstory on weird mover guys!! Circus guy getting mentioned again is a bit concerning. Wait I’m confused, why this episode and then Sarah Baldwin? How does that correlate? OH IT’S THE TAXIDERMY PLACE. I miss Sasha. Gertrude killed Daniel and took the skin??? DAISY JUST SHOT HER?????? I love Daisy’s voice actor omg.

EP 97: We All Ignore The Pit

So wait is Jon at the archives or still at Georgies? Or somewhere else entirely? Since Martin said he was only coming in to ask for a book or something. Wait nevermind he’s still at Georgies. Wasn’t he moving out? Wait. That voice sounds so familiar. OH MY GOD, IT’S THAT ONE AUDIO. “How can I sound anything silly, I’m plastic!” OH MY GODDDDDD IT’S THAT AUDIO!!! I WAS TRYING TO FIND WHERE IT WAS FROM SO I COULD WATCH IT OMG. Guess episode 100 or season finale is going to be the dance.

EP 98: Lights Out

YAY MORE MARTIN! Tim is so real because how is everyone else so chill about the archives. Oh Jon offered the job, okay yeah the hatred makes more sense. Rayner was that guy who visted the prisoner and ran that cult where Basira and Daisy tried for arrest him, right? How has this guy stayed alive for so long??? So reading these statements sucks the energy out of people not claimed by the eye? Since instead of harnessing the supernatural energy and feeding the eye, the eye consumes them? Melanie what are you planning because you paused for far too long before saying yes?? Guys I’m confused again I don’t understand anything :’)

EP 99: Dust To Dust

I don’t have anything to really say about this episode. MICHAEL???????? MICHAEL WAS GERTRUDES MARTIN???????????? “10 years yet before I can afford a conscience” Why 10 years??? What does that mean Gertrude??? Jon screaming “what the hell are you” is so real right now. So wait can you only have one avatar per weird god thingy? Because if so then what’s Elias’s deal???? Georgie is actually such a good friend I love them so much. Aaaand Jon just got kidnapped by the weird mover dudes. That’s great.

#tma impressions #the magnus archives #tma #tma podcast #jonathan sims

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quartergremlin · 10 months ago

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avatar live action first impressions:

i like the sets!

i dont really like the cgi bemdimg, but it's not egregiously bad either. I don't like the pacing of the starting fight, and the earthvemdimg is missing that good ome-two pumch, but it's something that if it hadn't already been pointed out to me, I probably wouldn't have noticed.

i also like the idea of small-scale resistance of the earth kingdom (besides jet, jet was framed as an outlier). I appreciate that out of everyone who lost their homes and their families and their livelihoods, there were more options in the earth kingdom than 1: moving somewhere else and hope it doesn't happen again or 2: ve rich and stick your head in the same. oh this is im the past nevermind-

that is some pretty impressive costuming! however. that fake beard. jesus.

i do like the "avatar stairs" that seems like. the shittiest place to spend eternity. Hope you didn't ignore leg day when you were alive. Are they allowed to sit down?

i dont know if I like the fact that aang is the only one flying around or not. probably a sound decision. that many fake flying people in the background.... yeah this is for the better.

i also like how the war is framed in the past outside of aang's perspective. As a kid, it would have seemed like,, the war just happened one day. "The fire nation attacked".

HES TWELVE!!! HES SO TIMY!!!! 😭

aamg just. taking some time instead of intentionally running away is. a choice. that will have some repercussions for his character. but I trust we all understand that without me writing a dissertation about it.

that guy: im a monk, but... 💨💨💥

that said I was prepared for monk gyatso to suck all of the air out of the room in a desperate final stand, but whatever. it's fine. that was fan speculation anyway. makes sense they didn't think that hard about it and just did a regular fight.

zuko keeping tiny avatar statues! i do love and understand that.

so if I'm getting this right:

aang never ran away. so any guilt related to him doing so ever. is just. fake! yes that guilt would still be there, but without like. an actual purposeful action that aang took, the answer is always going to be that he "didn't mean to". He was going to be the avatar (he was going back), but he got caught up in the storm. It was an accident. Where is the arc?

sokka has no misogyny arc, so he's p much right about everything ever. Still doesn't care about bending, but he's being reasonable about the responsibility that they have to their home. He's going to keep doing that for the entire series herding these kids like cats. is the plan to just. have him respect Katara's bending and that's it? Where is the arc?

Katara. since sokka is like. a reasonable guy and not just telling katara to go do some "women's work" what little anger she has is less justified. it feels like she's been de-fanged in response. my least favorite thing in a female character. Sokka shouts her down and she's just. fine with that. upset about it, yeah. but where's the anger, the passion? she was trying to get the boat and duped it up. The problem here is her lack of experience. not lack of control. Where is the arc?

Takeaway: i'll give it a three. I've watched worse things. But the misunderstanding of characters pisses me off and im not sure if I want to stick around to see if they get it together. if I stop, it will probably be because I got bored. Mismanaged pacing is the real killer if it's not ugly as sin.

#avatar the last airbender #/AMD/ THEY KILLED KATARA'S AGEMCEY WTF #there is somethimg so small as a character /decidimg/ to go imstead of veimg forced to that cam make amd vreak shit

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lotus-mirage · 1 year ago

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Trigun Stampede episode 4 liveblog!

I had a bit of a double take at “plant-based meat”. Come to think of it, are there any actual plants on this planet? Or are they talking about eating the irreplaceable technology that sustains them...?

Welp, there’s Wolfwood. Wearing that big old gun cross. Thing.

lmao that’s not a very dignified first look at the guy

Interesting that there’s only seven cities when they seem to be named after calendar months.

Actually huh. I wonder how big this world is anyway. It feels like it should be pretty small, especially with the number of cities, but I have no idea how big those cities could be.

Those are worms?????

Also another kinda bacteria-looking thing after the bombs, huh.

NEVERMIND WHAT I SAID ABOUT THAT BEING AN UNDIGNIFIED FIRST LOOK. guy just went flying :0c

and now he’s just flopping around in the backseat. fantastic. no notes.

Plant... outpost? wonder what this is.

Wait Wolfwood is like. actually religious? I kinda thought it was just symbolism. I can’t believe he’s actually religious and lugging around a big cross on his back. I can’t tell if that’s delusions of self-importance or just... dweebery.

...drinking from what may or may not be holy water. My guy. I understand resources are low.

Oh it keeps going.

...I do not believe this man is ordained.

Okay “undertaker”... may check out more?? I have no idea what they might be expected to know in a historical or modern day setting, let alone space-fantasy. I wouldn’t expect them to have access to holy water though?

Actually wait I need to google the difference between undertaker and gravedigger.

Nevermind, they probably do! Alright then.

okay all that aside - what is happening with the background music here??? It’s unexpectedly unsettling, kind of.

Okay I switched audio languages briefly to see if the additional religious allusions in like every line from Wolfwood was also reflected in the Eng dub (even more blatant actually) and got hit with “You did get hit by big-ass truck, after all,” which was unexpected enough to make me stop and laugh out loud.

Speaking of which I was kind of expecting them to gloss over that given the cartoony nature of that whole sequence, but huh.

ah jeez what now

...we’re going Dune now?? Alright, okay.

the bug things are also Worms?

“detached electrons” I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. That sounds like it’d cause chemical reactions, which doesn’t look to be the case?

“tool of the trade” as a gun or as a reusable grave marker?

oookay eating the weird glowy bug alive and raw. I mean I guess if they’re Worms, we know they’re edible like that, but uh. yikes.

assassins that control Worms, huh. that sounds like a lost technology thing, presumably

“I can see it in his eyes” yeah yeah okay lay it on a little thicker oh my god

Roberto vanished while they were having a moment! I’m honestly sure if that was an intentional comedy moment lol

okay my prediction is either another bug or a more worm-looking Worm

there is also like barely any liquid, there is no way digestion is happening that fast

OH LMAO is that what’s been happening!? They’ve just been getting launched??

Okay nvm that doesn’t make much sense and also they’d be less likely to survive it than these two I guess

Ooh I really want to see the Worm’s whole design

I guess that makes sense that is an incredibly acrobatic child.

okay yeah that looks like it’d cause rapid digestion

oh yuck the floor

the cross gun has a fucking skull on it. I don’t have words.

it’s a machine gun

oooh that is a really cool creature design!

so like. is the kid also a Worm or do they just have some sort of power/technological control over them?

it’s a machine gun that also shoots lazers

it also decently high-tech, but still not entirely sure where it falls in terms of technology type

side note, the consistent mild back-and-forth between Meryl and Wolfwood is great

and now the thing about deserving to eat is linked back to the deserving to cry thing from last episode. great. fantastic. ow.

come to think of it, why are they still travelling with Vash? just cause they got lumped with him after the last episode, or after more info...?

okay I honestly expected the kid and Wolfwood to actually be two different factions. It makes sense but now I want to know if there are more groups out there.

hold up. narration??

okay. red glowing tubes with characters I can’t read. that’s not an aesthetic that we’ve seen in this show yet I think?

“the gate that allows access to the higher dimension.” the WHAT

I guess this has to be the ‘Gate’ Knives mentioned last episode, but also higher dimension, what

“his morality and ethics are acting as a defensive measure” ???

oh wait no it is Knives’ group. huh.

those look like plants in the background, but all of them are red. was it the blue one that was having trouble, then? I assumed blue = alive and red = dead, but that may not be the case. they’re also markedly smaller than the ones in the town.

“more human than anyone” uhhhhhh not sure I agree with that on principle, but I get what they’re saying. sure, I guess.

lmao wolverine claws

End notes:

Hmm, not sure where to start! First off, I think pacing/tonal issues were more or less entirely absent from this episode! nice.

I think that’s our entire party assembled, aside from Millie, who as I understand it is less of a key figure in TriStamp so far, but not so in other versions?? Anyway. Nice! I think they did a good job of establishing the dynamics between the different characters.

I guess the main thing to really speculate on is the Gate thing. So far seems like simultaneously a physiological thing and a psychological thing. He’s had it for a while, but can’t control it (isn’t aware of it?), but it’s a way to access a higher dimension, but it’s also affected by his state of mind.

Not much by way of explaining the key antagonists or their goals, other than now we have... I guess half a goal? Maybe a step in the process.

Step 1: Collect Plants

Step 2: Utilize Vash’s Gate, allowing access to a higher dimension

Step 3: ???

Step 4: Profit

#my thoughts #trigun #tristamp liveblog

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another-dr-another · 8 months ago

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go to the dining hall? :<

Maeda, narrating - Fucking- walked down this hallway twenty times today- and I just know this isn’t my last time down here.

Maeda - …Not that I'm really mad about it. Much bigger issues, and this really isn’t a problem. I’m just waiting to get called back to Tsurugi’s dorm…

Maeda - But, whatever. I'm going back to the same areas, it means I'm going with something new in mind, which means we know something new.

Maeda - …

Maeda - Not that... we've actually found something, or I'm going to follow a lead...

Maeda - But I’ll stop complaining. Still alive, so there’s no sense in whining about things.

~*~

Maeda - ...Hi, agai-

//Immediately, someone in the room perks up.

Maki - Maeda!

Maeda - Woah? She seems excited. It’s nice to be well-received, but Maki doesn’t seem like the type who’d miss me, and show it that strongly.

Maeda - Maki!

Maeda - …?

Ōtori - Welcome back.

//Maeda waves at Ōtori. Though Maki’s relaxed a bit, she’s still staring at Maeda, in stark contrast to Ōtori, who seems significantly less interested.

Maki - So, how was… investigating?

Maeda - …?

Maeda - I don't know how to describe it, but Maki doesn't typically seem this... engaged. Somehow, I doubt she’s that concerned with what I’ve found.

Maeda - Nothing big, to be honest.

Maki - Oh, damn…

Maeda - …

Maki - …

Ōtori - …

Maki - …

Maeda - ...She’s really not-

Maeda - Ohh- y'know, I bet Maki’s just happy someone other than Ōtori is here.

Maeda - God, uh... what were we even talking about before I left?

Maeda - Oh!

Maeda - Tsurugi and Uehara are back, by the way.

Maki - Really?!

Ōtori - ...Ah?

//Ōtori's eyes widen. He sits up to look at Maeda, silently asking him to elaborate- now matching Maki.

Maeda - Yeah. Right now, they’re in Tsurugi’s dorm, guarding for Kobashikawa, because he needed to run to his room for a second-

Maeda - But even then, I'd think Tsurugi's probably investigating right now, so once Kobashikawa’s done, they’ll be ready to come investigate here.

Maki - Thank god… I was so worried they wouldn't be able to come and see for themselves what happened.

Ōtori - ...

Ōtori - You have that much confidence in Uehara's reasoning skills?

Maki - ...

Maki - Yeah, whatever, sue me- I was worried Tsurugi wouldn't feel up to helping.

Maeda - …You guys don’t need to worry- I'll go tell Uehara you hate him and think he's stupid-

Maki - No need, he knows that's how I feel.

Maeda - …

Maki - …

Ōtori - …

Maki - …Like, I think I’ve made it incredibly obvious, blatant enough for even Uehara-

Maeda, overlapping - Man, poor Uehara-

//Maki laughs.

Maeda - I know she’s joking, but…

Maeda - …Y’know, he’d probably agree… he was saying we can probably just give up and hang around until the trial starts, because Tsurugi will probably solve things for us.

Maki - Really?

Maeda - Mhm…

Maki - I mean… that probably isn’t a terrible idea. It isn’t like we’ve gotten too far- both investigating now, and just… solving the cases, in the past.

Ōtori - …Can we be certain Tsurugi is up to solving the case, though?

Maeda - ?

Ōtori - Well, you both said he was injured- or hurt, or not feeling well, or however we phrase it- point being, he may not be functioning the way he typically does.

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - And, of course, being dependent on one person’s view of things is always… questionable, when our lives depend on finding the truth.

Maeda - …Well, he seemed to be feeling fine when I saw him…

Maki - …

Ōtori - If he decides to investigate, then I won’t push the topic- just felt like bringing up every perspective.

Maki - …Nevermind, I want Uehara here to fight the devil's advocate.

Ōtori - …Funny.

Maeda - …

Maeda - Actually, bringing up talents is really interesting.

Maeda - Like… we’ll quip about how none of us are up to solving the case like Tsurugi is- but it really makes sense. Crime-fighting is his talent, not any of ours.

Maeda - If we were being asked to convert people to Christianity, we’d probably be hiding behind Uehara, or kneeling to Ōtori if we needed to play the stock market.

Maeda - Which- I’m just thinking back to when Kurokawa was alive. Uehara was super helpful back then… but now, spiritual matters aren’t really our concern anymore.

Maki - …?

Maeda - What?

Maki - …Because spiritual shit was ever our top priority?

Maeda - Well!-

Maeda - Ah fuck. Should not have opened my mouth.

Maeda - …I don’t know if you knew this, but Kurokawa wanted to perform an exorcism. Uehara helped her with getting materials for it, because she wanted to go, like… cross-discipline about it.

Ōtori - Why did she want to perform an exorcism?

Maeda - …When you’re always dealing with spirits, everyone’s possessed? Maybe?

Maeda - I don’t really remember the specifics of what she was saying… I think she just wanted to generally cleanse the school.

Maeda - …Sorry, sorry, sorry. I am so sorry, Kurokawa- I know that wasn’t the case, and I don’t know why I framed things like that.

Maeda - I’ll tell everyone the truth of what you were trying to do… sometime later. After we escape, maybe. But, I know you were genuinely concerned for me, and I’m so sorry.

Ōtori - Huh. I guess I missed that.

Maeda - …Kobashikawa was helping Kurokawa look around the store, right? I wonder why he never mentioned that to Ōtori…

Maki - Who knows- maybe someone’s been going to Uehara for support, because he’s a priest, and they’re religious, and this is hell?

Ōtori - Is anyone here religious?

Maki - I mean, not that I really know of… but I haven’t heard anyone say they aren’t religious.

Ōtori - Pretty sure Higa went on at least one rant about religion-

Maki - Okay, but we’re talking about people. Higa isn’t a person.

Maeda - …I would tease her for speaking ill of the dead, but I don’t want anyone thinking I’m remembering Higa fondly.

Maki - But, anyways- Tsurugi’s been injured before, and he did just as well then. Knowing he’ll be investigating, I’m not nearly as worried as I was earlier.

Maki - Plus, I think when the blackened attacks Tsurugi, it actually ends up helping him work out their identity, so… no loss, no foul.

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - Did it seem like Tsurugi’s… ailment was caused by the blackened?

Maeda - Not… particularly… but it has to be related, right?

Ōtori - …I don’t like writing off coincidences like that, but… I also don’t think it’s alright to take them as objective fact, either.

Maeda - I need Ōtori to start committing to something. Anything. Any theory.

Maeda - …Though, I will say, I felt… stressed? Distracted?

Maeda - I don’t know. Something was making my head feel weird when I was talking with Ōtori earlier, and that’s gone away now, which is nice.

Maeda - Being in here isn’t making me feel as freaked out.

Maki - Did you find anything while you investigated that could help us work out what happened?

Maeda - …

Maki - …

Maeda - …Found absolutely nothing. Literally no evidence.

Maki - Seriously?

Maeda - Well- that isn’t entirely true? Uh-

Maeda - Tomori and I think Higa got… suffocated, or strangled- don’t really know the difference-

Maki - Suffocation is when something is keeping you from getting air into your mouth, like a pillow over your face, or lack of oxygen in a room,

Maki - Strangulation is when the inability to get oxygen is caused by your throat getting constricted, from someone’s hands, or from rope.

Maeda - …

Maki - …Sorry-

Maeda - No, that’s- probably good to know, it’s just…

Maeda - Well- we don’t know which really got him.

Maeda - There was marks on his neck, but there was also a pillow nearby which had blood on it.

Maki - …And I’m going to assume the “marks on his neck” aren’t finger-shaped bruises?

//Maeda shakes his head.

Maeda - And I thought that the blood might’ve been from Higa scratching whoever attacked him, but Tomori pointed out that the placement of the blood doesn’t match up with that.

Maki - Damn…

Ōtori - …

Maeda - I wish I had more information to share… I’m trying to think back on what was in Tsurugi’s room, but really, I can’t think of anything I should’ve looked at that I didn’t.

Maeda - What am I missing here?

Maki - …Maeda?

Maeda - ?

Maki - …What are you doing?

//Maeda didn’t think that “blood running cold” was a legitimate feeling until now.

Maeda - ?! What does she mean-

Maki - Like… are you just here to tell us what you found, or did you think of something else you need to investigate here?

Maki - If you’re done investigating, would you mind taking over as guard for someone?

Maeda - …Oh. That- That’s what she meant.

Maeda - I don’t mind! I can totally do that!

Maeda - Just- not right this second? I did come here for a reason, actually…

Ōtori - And that is?

Maeda - …

//He glances at Hatano, confirms that she isn’t paying them the slightest attention, then moves so his back is to her nonetheless. It’s only then that he shows Maki and Ōtori the ribbon he’d been hiding away.

Maeda - …Found this when I was investigating in Tsurugi’s dorm room.

Ōtori - …Is that Iranami’s bow?

Maki - It- it is.

Maki - …She gave it to Hatano last night.

Maeda - …

//He tries to gauge both their reactions. Maki is focused on the bow, likely thrown back to last night’s memories the way Maeda was, while Ōtori seems… almost confused.

Maeda - …Ōtori?

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - Sorry, uh- you said she gave it to her?

Maki - …Yeah?

Maki - Hatano said she needed something to tie her hair up with, so Iranami let her use her ribbon.

//Maeda nods.

Maeda - I think it just came undone while Hatano was asleep last night… I found it by her things, so-

Maeda - Speaking of, real quick- did either of you catch where Iranami slept?

Maki - No… I was in the corner- I think you were the person closest to me.

//Ōtori shakes his head- he has no clue.

Maeda - Damn…

Maki - …

//Maeda looks at Maki as she looks at Ōtori- it takes him a moment before he catches her gaze.

Ōtori - Oh-

Ōtori - Sorry, nevermind. I don’t have any more questions.

Maki - …What were you thinking?

Ōtori - Nothing. It’s not important, I understand now.

Maki - …

//Maki and Maeda share a look, which Ōtori pointedly ignores.

Maeda - …Anyways-

Maeda - I just want to give this to Hatano. Once that’s done, I don’t mind taking over on guard duty.

Maeda - I’ll probably come in for you, Maki- I don’t think Kobashikawa or Tomori would really like investigating-

Maeda - Fuck, I can’t think of a good reason why Ōtori shouldn’t get to investigate.

Maki - Sounds good. I’m probably the most… informed, so…

Maeda - Thank god for Maki.

Maeda - Great… I’ll be back in a minute, then.

Maeda - Now if she could just come up with what I’ll say to Hatano.

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - Maeda, hold on.

Maeda - ?

Ōtori - Are… we sure this is the best plan of action?

Maeda - …What, me taking over for Maki, so she can investigate? I think it’s good to let people see things first-hand…

Ōtori - No- No, not that.

Ōtori - I meant giving Hatano that ribbon. Do we really think that’s a good idea?

Maeda - …

Maeda - What do you mean?

Ōtori - …Maeda- look at her!

Ōtori - It’s easily been an hour, and she’s just… beside herself.

Ōtori - I don’t think she’ll be… bouncing back anytime soon… shouldn’t we let her rest?

Maki - …What- let her rest by not giving her what her dead friend gifted her?

Ōtori - By not dredging up memories!

Ōtori - It’s- you two don’t get it. You aren’t seeing it the way I am…

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - It is… so difficult to lose someone close to you. And Hatano’s been taking things hard. You weren’t…

Ōtori - Maki, you came in and saw the aftermath, and Maeda, you saw her moment of realization…

Ōtori - But- you just don’t get it.

Ōtori - I’m not saying we never give it to her. I’m not saying she shouldn’t get the ribbon because she’s upset right now.

Ōtori - What I am saying is that I think we should wait. I think it’s kinder if we wait.

Maeda - …

Ōtori - We don’t…

Ōtori - You said Iranami gifted her that ribbon, just last night. How is she going to feel when she sees it again? Where is her mind going to take her when she’s encouraged to relive their final moments together?

Ōtori - I…

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - …I don’t think it’s a good idea. Grief is something that doesn’t go away- that hurt just stays. There’ll never be a time when she thinks of what happened last night and feels happy.

Ōtori - But things are too fresh right now. Do you want to see her go over the edge? Because I think if she gets given that ribbon, it’s going to be too much of a push, and it’ll do more harm than good.

Maeda - …

Maki - …Well-

Maeda - I don’t really agree, Ōtori.

Maeda - I mean, I’m not saying you’re wrong for your thoughts on how she’s feeling, but… what are we supposed to do about it?

Maeda - Sure she’s doing bad- could she get any worse?

Maeda - We give it to her now, or we wait. She gets upset either way- like this, we aren’t running from the inevitable.

Maeda - …

Maki - …I agree with Maeda.

Maeda - I’m only being selfish, though.

Maki - I do… I don’t think I can argue about what you’re saying regarding Hatano’s mental state right now-

Maeda - That’s my only real reasoning. I’m going based off how I feel, and nothing else.

Maki - But, I don’t think your thoughts on what we should do are the best.

Maeda - I’m so scared. I’d only feel better if the world started ending. I wanna be done with everything, I want to throw it all away. Everything would be better if it were turned into rot.

Maki - She’s hurt, and she’s grieving, like you said- but like Maeda said, this isn’t something that’ll go away.

Maeda - And all that, just because I’m afraid!

Maki - And I know you understand that, but…

Maeda - I don’t want to hand Hatano the ribbon and have her get upset. I couldn’t handle any part of that.

Maki - I guess… the thing that bothers me is the idea we’re doing her a favor by keeping it from her.

Maeda - Once, I really did just want to do what I thought was right. It seemed like the correct choice, to return it to her- I thought it was the decision I was supposed to make.

Maki - Giving her the ribbon could make her more upset, or, the reminder of the good memories could end up helping Hatano.

Maeda - But now, I understand. I’m no smarter for it- but I’m not following my stupid delusions.

Maki - And even if it does upset her, it’s not like we’re trying to make her hurt… we’re giving her what we found, and letting her feel whatever she does about it.

Maeda - I wanted to see Hatano feel better again, wanted to see her start to move on. That was wrong of me. It was inconsiderate to her grief.

Maki - Keeping the ribbon from her, trying to wait until she feels up to it…

Maeda - And, I only felt that way because I want to feel good about myself. It’s a total hero’s complex. I wanted to save Hatano from her sadness, because it would make me feel better.

Maki - I mean, can you imagine legitimately doing that? After the trial, she’s starting to move on, and we dredge everything up while revealing we’ve been keeping things from her?

Maeda - But I’ve realized now that that won’t work. I was being stupid. All that’ll happen is I’ll get in trouble, because things will go poorly.

Maki - Plus, imagine if she did remember the ribbon, and thought it got lost when Monokuma cleaned up the crime scene…

Maeda - Just look at me! I know Hatano will be upset, but I only care about what will happen to me! Selfish!

Maki - …I don’t know. There’s a lot of ways things could go, a lot of variables…

Maeda - I’m too afraid. When Hatano gets upset, I won’t be able to handle it. And it won't even be just her that's angry with me, everyone will be mad at me, because I’ll have upset Hatano.

Maki - But, ultimately, it’s not something we have… right or reason to be trying to control.

Maeda - So, all I care about is getting it over with. I need this weight off of me! It’s too much! It’s too much! I just want to be done with everything! I can’t handle it!

Ōtori - …

Maeda - I don’t care about how Hatano feels anymore. Once I realized how badly I’ll be seen, I stopped caring, because that’s my nature. I just want to try and keep myself safe.

Ōtori - …It isn’t… wrong to try and help others. Sometimes, there’s nothing to be done, so it’s better to stay out of it.

Maeda - People could be upset with me if Hatano gets upset. And that’s not fair. I didn’t mean anything… all I did was find the ribbon.

Maki - But is it helping her, or is it staying out of it?

Maeda - It’s totally not fair, but they’d be so upset! They’d hate me! They’d be so mad at me, and it wouldn’t be fair, because I didn’t even do anything…

Ōtori - It can be both!

Maeda - No one knows what I’m thinking. They don’t know I’m a bad, selfish person, who only cares about his image and his well-being. They have no way of knowing. And since they don’t know, they can’t be upset with me!

Maki - …

Maeda - It’s wrong of me to hide from them like this. But if they don’t know what kind of person I am, they can’t be mad at me. They can’t look at me with that hatred. They can’t hurt me like that. It isn’t fair.

Maki - I won’t… deny that you could be right- that you probably are right, when it comes to this upsetting Hatano.

Maeda - So, I just have to keep tricking everyone. It’s wrong, but that’s just the sort of person that I am. If people knew, I wouldn’t be able to handle their disdain.

Maki - But, keeping the ribbon from her wouldn’t be right. All we can control is when she gets what Iranami would’ve wanted her to have-

Maeda - I need to give her the ribbon, and get it over with, and then run away. They can’t hold it against me. I have to give it to her, it’s the right thing to do. No one’s allowed to be upset with me over that.

Maki - Iranami gave it to her last night, we should give it back. Wherever Hatano goes from there, she’ll keep on living with it, and we won’t have anything we’re hiding from her in the meantime.

Maeda - I’ll give it to her, because it’s the right thing to do, because it’s wrong to lie to her, and be so deceptive, and no one will be allowed to be upset with me

Ōtori - …

Maeda - I won’t have any guilt in this situation.

Maki - …

Maeda - None they’re aware of, at least. They won’t be able to ascribe any blame to me. This is the person I am. But they don’t need to know it.

Maki - I think Maeda should give her the ribbon now. Between that, and hiding it from her… letting her see the entirety of the situation, all of what we know, is more fair.

Maeda - I can hide away. I can keep things a secret. No one needs to know, no one needs to say a thing. I’ll stay away, stay safe.

Ōtori - …

Maeda - I’m just a bad person.

Ōtori - …Alright.

Maeda - I’ll always be a bad person.

Ōtori - I’m not saying that I agree- I really think it would be nicer to wait…

Maeda - I can’t do anything to change how horrible I am.

Ōtori - …But, none of this is nice.

Maeda - It’s best for everyone if we —

Maki - So instead, we’ll do what’s right.

Maeda - …Inevitable.

//The two seem to reach an agreement. Tears slip down Maeda’s face.

Maeda - …

Maeda - ………

Ōtori - …Sorry if I threw you off too much, Maeda.

Ōtori - Ultimately, do what you think is best. There’s no such thing as perfection in a setting like this, so just do what feels right to you.

Ōtori - Really, you shouldn’t concern yourself too much with my thoughts…

Maki - It’s Maeda’s greatest flaw: giving your ideas any credence.

Ōtori - Trying out a new vocabulary for this conversation?

Maki - Need to do something to try and stay sane. Throw a bit of variety in.

Maeda - …Ah- I completely stopped listening… whoops-

Maeda - Eh?...

Maeda - Sorry, I got kinda distracted.

Maeda - Uh- but don’t worry… I’m still planning to give Hatano the ribbon, so…

Ōtori - Hm. Well, you shouldn’t let us keep you from that any longer, then.

Maki - Come and let me know once you’re ready to guard, yeah?

Maeda - Mhm! Will do.

Maki - Freedom in sight…

Ōtori - I wonder, if we can’t find out who the blackened is, how they’d be received by the public when they escaped…

Maki - …Well. Mad as I’d be about dying, I hope other people would understand how fucking hellish it is to be here.

Ōtori - Hm…

~*~

Maeda - It’d be nice if they could find something to talk about… discussing the murder gets so stressful, it’s difficult to accuse, and be accused.

Maeda - …

Maeda - I mean, horrid timing, seeing as they’re getting along just before I plan to switch in for Maki, but… either way, if they can cooperate during the trial, that’d be nice.

Maeda - …Now, if I could work out what I should say to Hatano, then things would be perfect.

{Talk with Hatano}

#dra #yuki maeda #kiyoka maki #teruya ōtori #chapter 3 #deadly life 3 #deadly life

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departedhumanitysdaughter · 10 months ago

Text

warning : some nfsw words, and blood images, with swear words

Missy flowered but I began to loose it

(novel in Tumblr only)

Chapter 1 : a new home

I have no sense of outside world but the curiosity of the world began to make me vomit, so I escape the inside, I didn't even realize how beautiful it is...

my name is flowered gelbt aiensten

I've been traveling the world until I found an weird factory, I saw the factory name poppy playtime, I ignore the request of my Brain for it's coming. At the leautant forest. I saw...BERRYS! but why is it pink? Oh well I will eat it. After long journey I brain start forcing me going back to the factory indeed I feel so special about it. But I feel dumped by it. And I keep on ignoring the brain of mine realizing my strength is gone. I saw an old cabin, no one was in it. And it has my name. But different clans/bloodline

It was. An different scent smell. Why does it smell sleepy here? Am I trapped. What is this gas? I look at the name

That's not my name. "Flowered lu li la lesaborn?" My real name is flowered gelbt aiensten. I'm trying not to inhale the weird sleepy red gas and then I failed. I woke up into an place the word. "Playcare" what is this? An made up orphanage? I mean it's a big place though. But why am in a room...who are you. Why do I see..an cat? Big purple cat..strangling one of his friends who is he? Maybe is this an dream? What am I dreaming? I woke up and I'm in an basement? And an little alived doll who has red twin tail's hair. And an pink fur creature. And an blue fur creature. Staring at me..waiting me to wake up.

"huh? What's going on?...WHO THE F9CK ARE YOU B1TVHES?"

Poppy : woah calm down! I'm poppy! And that's huggy wuggy and kissy missy. Welcome to the capriccio farce!

"huh? Capriccio farce?"

??? : who is that?

An dog came in. His body..is bleeding.

Poppy : huh? Oh hey dogday! This is...uhhh

Kissy missy : don't be scared what's your name?

"...me? I'm flowered gelbt aiensten."

Kissy missy : hi I'm kissy missy!

"does that even count?"

Kissy missy : no.

"oh."

Dogday : oh an angel! Hi!

"....hi? You look like.."

"nevermind."

Dogday : okay...also. what happened to your eye?

"....."

Dogday : sorry if I say that.

Huggy wuggy : were going on!

Dogday : we can't get a break?

Huggy wuggy : yeah! We are! I can't get a break too.

Dogday : well yeah.. also here's you're. Helper. Angel.

"thanks."

They left me alone. And now I have no choice but an basement. He left me an purple hand. The dog's voice sounds like lu li la. I forced myself to get up and sneakily get out of the basement. I see an guy and the others in the elevator. Going down. And I can't get a chance. I wish if I say..nevermind. I go to home sweet home. I saw an pig eating an child's head. I ran and cried. I didn't even know my favorite animal would do such thing. I decided to be brave again. I feel like I'm in anger. After years and years. My anger has been pulled out. I decided to grab an fire extinguisher on the fucking home sweet fuck the home. I killed the fucking asshole who eated an childs head I feel like an maniac. I decided to cover her body. Letting not everyone know that was me. I feel satisfied after 10 years of anger inside. I'm still 15. I shouldn't have do this..but nevermind I'm going. I explore the playcare found an what the fuck? An shrine? Bitch what the fuck? Who the fuck even do that shit? Oh fuck. Wait is that the big talk purple cat in my dream? Why is he praying? To the shrine. Nevermind I'm gonna throw THIS stupid pig body to the shrine, as I throw it. He notices and he jumps to it and I began to run away. Didn't know I could get myself in danger. Oh no I'm lost. IN AN GARDEN? That's it I'm going to find. Oh an telephone. I'm gonna do an random number. 1999! Wait it worked-

Poppy : who's calling?

"...poppy?"

Poppy : where are you?

"getting chased by an cat."

Poppy : why did you do that?

"......"

Poppy : I get it you want to be free but...

Suddenly I heard screams

Kissy missy : there you are! Now let's go back to the basement! Dogday and I. Oh.. I didn't know there's another body. You know what.

Kissy missy use decided to pick me up, atleast she didn't know that's was picky piggy's body. She's throwing me back to the basement and now. I'm in a fucking room...

(part 2 later)

Part 2 is here!

They saw me in curious. I was weirded out and that's the guy. But why is his hair like a girl why the fuck his hair is declined gravity

"...WHY THE FUCK YOUR HAIR DECLINED GRAVITY"

(continuation of part 2 soon)

Reptile : hey be nice! This is just my hair! Also my name is reptile.

Dogday : uhh. Angel.

Reptile : what now.

Dogday : do you ever think someone is coming.

Reptile : that make sense because you fucking think that someone going to kills us and I think that someone coming down here because we're just taking care of...who is she again?

Dogday : flowered.

Reptile : yeah flowered.

I didn't even have a choice but..my anger was upon me. So what I do? I grab the scissors that on the table and I hit it to reptile's eye. He was screaming and I ran as fast I can. I don't wanna see everyone like I'm an murderer until I tripped and I saw an hand.

??? : join us!

"....you..no."

??? : such an heretic.

"fuck you."

And I run again trying to escape them.until I found an child.

??? : hm?

What the fuck is she doing. Why is she breaking that.. arms of someone.

??? : ....

She kept breaking it. I blink and..she's gone it was an hallucination. Until I got caught by fucking catnap I didn't even know he could be behind and then I faint. In a bit of waking up I saw myself is...

He's just dragging me back to..an mother fucking shrine.

"what the fuck are you.. oh shit no weapons."

I look around no sharp things or strong things to make them die or faint. And then I thought he's going to bite and kill me but I realize. Why the fuck is he licking me? Treating me like the daughter he knew.

(part 3 coming soon)

(part 3 here)

"what..."

What the fuck... HE'S PURRING? and he sleeps with m- ow.. that hurt. Seriously is he schizophrenia? Well damn I mean I could sleep with him I have no bunk beds in that stupid basement. And then I sleep for 2 minutes and then he's gone when I awake. I decided to find any weapons so I could have protect myself. And then I see...an cardboard cutout. I click it. And it says

Bobby bearhug : "you humans, you must die.YOU PATHETIC GIVE ME YOUR SAINTS YOU SATANS."

Damn. Never knew bobby bearhug ever do say that...oh! Is that an bat? Wait nailed bat! I'm gonna put this in...ah yes. I forgot my bag is gone. Oh lucky! I found an. Bag. Wow such an cool merch of an...what's this. Oh it's cat bee's merch I'm gonna use this bag and put this nailed bat in the bag. And now I start walking again finding out what was he's onto. Until I saw bobby bear hug with a spear. Never knew what's onto her. I sneaked until I accidentally break a glass of an wine. Which determines my way. Until I decided to defend myself and we got into a fight I almost died as she choked and throw onto the wall and then I nose bleed. My anger has absorbed my body I see an rope and then I decided make an choice. I would make her fight me in my position and if her spear hits it I would managely kill her. As we fight again my eye got sliced. The left eye. Oh god.

I just got in my breaking point realizing I was in front of bobby bear hug. So I successfully make her spear hit the rope and the boxes that is filled with...OHHH. IRONS? Only half of her body is trapped the legs and the hips. And her right arm.i grab her spear, And I decided to say this to her.

"seriously, you're pathetic you know that."

Bobbybearhug : "how could a child would defeat such army?"

"rather to die than accepting mercy...no.."

Bobbybearhug : what..

"live...live. knowing that you ONLY. Do because I let you."

"a failure."

I left her...sense of guilt has absorbed me. So..I decided..

"you really thought I could have..a chance of mind?"

Bobby bearhug : "what.. you.. you're gonna save me?"

"your thoughts are correct. Your chants you're life. I know that. You never knew me. Because I'm just here. Why would I even let you go? Do I feel no guilt for leaving such person? Would you think I would let you starve?"

"YOU DON'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT THAT I WOULD SAVE YOU. you would be able to tell why you would want to kill me."

Bobbybearhug : "I even...want to spread sympathy's and kill kids or humans roaming around."

"do you even realize that you're even pathetic to think about savory and freedom. You even don't care. You just wanted to be alone you need to be helped. Not even we need to be alone you think your powerful enough to be a master. You never get to know who's and who. Are the strongest you just take a bite of the chanted words. So you thought you would be able to defeated me."

Bobby bearhug : you...really did helped me..even tho your still a kid. You still have an strong future huh...

"well would you mind..."

"if I would help. If any betrayals. I don't give a fuck. We will still find a way to get out of this place. This is hell."

"now take my hand so we could end this slave."

She decides to be helped realizing she was alone. I was right. She never get a chance to be a master even tho is not the dream of her's. But I realize she's stuck. And then her body got torn off. Her legs a d waist and her right arm.

Bobbybearhug : "SHIT."

(part 5 coming soon)

(part 5 is here!)

I saw her body is torn off. Well. I have no choice but kill her with her spear. I felt guilty absorbed around me, I ran crying while holding an spear. And carrying an bag with the nailed bat. Until I tripped found fucking catnap... He grabbed me with his mouth and dragged me back to the fucking basement again.

Reptile : "okay give one second to intercourse. So you ran. You attack. You...what else."

"I didn't do anything."

Catnap : "don't lie my child."

"LIE?"

DANG. His voice is deep and..raspy? Vertically deep. Very deep.

"BUT YOU GUYS TREAT ME LIKE I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO."

Reptile : "yes because you are still an kid."

"I'M AN TEENAGER. ASSHOLE!"

dogday : "language!"

"FUCKING-"

Catnap : language, flowered.

"SSSSSFFFFRICK! WHY AM I FFFFUFFFFFFFRICKING! COMING HERE?"

Catnap : "you know what you did, bobby died, picky piggy died, and you decline our s-"

Dogday : "catnap!"

Catnap : [sighs] "look, I know your not involved like this. But be normal."

"one question. WHY IS YOUR STOMACH BULGED OUT."

Catnap : "such an inappropriate question there."

Dogday : "we should go."

They left and only me and reptile.

Reptile : "sorry they're kinda...rude. but they're trying to be nice. Well to answer your question. He's actually pregnant"

"wow. Never knew that."

Reptile : "so. What's sup lately?"

"I just wanna go home but this? This is dumb! Why am I locked in an fucking basement?"

Reptile : "hehe. Well I could take you to your room."

"yeah. Hotels."

I followed reptile and we ended up in home sweet home. I see myself there "flowered room" with an like wood scracth on the door. And then. Some moanings and plap plap plap. On the other room. I go to my room and wow. Just an normal room. It's better than living in my parents house. Such dissapointment for it. I finally have the perfect and comfortable way to sleep rather than. This. Now I slept for fucking 9 hours. And I woke up. I realize. Someone opened my door and snatch my fucking nailer bat and the spear I took from bobby bear hug. And then I heard some talks and now I will snitch and hear inside my room.

Bobby bearhug : "thanks for helping me I didn't know she would be that angry at me. I never knew she have PTSD."

Dogday : "it's fine. We knew we got too rude to her as we talk to her in the basement. So uh we just wanna forgive but no succes. She's really asleep."

Catnap : "I know that she would ask what's going on my stomach."

Bobby bearhug : "what did you guys did this time?"

Dogday : "we have sex again and now...uhhhh- I didn't know I just made him pregnant."

Bobby bearhug : "still the same dogday.",

I decided if it's okay to open the door but I refused I look at the time is fucking 3 am. So i decide if it's okay to open the door. And now....I hear.

Bobby bearhug : "catnap your vagina is visible."

Catnap : "I'm a cat bobby. That's regular for cats."

Dogday : "yeah...we should continue have s- ...."

"...you guys were talking about what again."

Dogday : "uh nothing?"

Catnap : "go back to sleep.

"hell no!"

Catnap : [sigh] "what are you doing."

"I can't sleep."

Dogday : "hey...catnap you always wish when a child was born you and me will cuddle and sleep with it why don't we try it with flowered?"

Catnap : "yeah sweetheart. Come here."

As catnap carried me, went to the room and slept together

That was the comfortable moment where they really treat me like a child they knew

(part 6 coming soon)

(part 6 is here!)

I woke up

"annghhhhdhh...huh?"

I saw an something made me uncomfortable. And I hide under the blanket. And I heard what dogday and catnap said

Dogday : "did we accidentally made her uncomfortable?"

Catnap : "I told you honey."

Dogday : [sighs.] Flowered?

"what....."

Dogday : "I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable."

",.."

I open the covers and...

"okay.."

I said while being quiet.

Dogday : "aw..I'm sorry."

He hugged me. And catnap too. Is like an joyful family I felt...

*suddenly huggy wuggy comes in with an bang of door. And then yells*

Huggy wuggy : "WE FOUND AN DEAD BODY!"

Dogday : who?

Huggy wuggy : kicken chicken.

They were shocked. And I didn't... I was confuse who was kicken chicken.

Catnap : "stay here flowered you're not allowed to see this."

Dogday,catnap and huggy wuggy is gone. They ran..to the place where he died. So...I start sneaking to find the reason why..until I go to the make a friend station and now I saw what he meant.... His body was torn off and nailed to the cross.

[ volume 1 chapter 1 ended ]

#poppy playtime #dogday #catnap #poppy playtime poppy #poppy playtime huggy #huggy wuggy #kissy missy #kissy missy poppy playtime #novel #alternative universe #missy flowered but i began to loose it #smiling critters #dogday x catnap #catnap x dogday

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simon-x-billy · 2 years ago

Text

Simon x Billy

Year of the OTP: April

April Ch. 4: Are you alive?

April prompt: Seemingly unrequited love

Guest starring, Alfie Jones

AN: Fast-forward two months, and Billy’s still worrying about that American bloke he bundled off back to Brooklyn. Btw, he is also a man whore. No tea no shade, he just loves women (a lot and frequently). This chapter is part of a massive rewrite of Simon x Billy in honor of the Year of the OTP event on ao3. TW: This chapter includes trans themes, which I have hopefully treated with genuine feeling and respect. If you do feel triggered and there is something I can do to be better, please let me know. Gratitude and love.

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-----/Billy/-----

I’ve barely made it two months.

Billy: Are you alive?

Simon: Who is this?

Billy: You know who this is - are you alive?

Simon: Yes

-----/-/-----

Here I am just leavin to fetch Anna Lucia and my text notification sounds out. Last time I saw this name on my screen, reckon it’d be about a month past.

First dates. That’s a great feelin, isn’t it? You know you’re gonna kiss, but you don’t know when. Your heart’s poundin. And then the cell buzzes. Hope she’s not begging off. Took her ages to even sustain eye contact with me. To be honest, you know you’re bein flirted with when I come at yeh. Not that I’ve been pesterin her. Her eyes just couldn’t bear lookin straight into the sun. Ah, I’m only jokin.

Right, give m’self one last lookover. “Teeth, check. Hair, check. Cock in, check. Smell good, check. Phone, check. Text check…

Simon: Are you alive?

Billy: What’s up, man? All right? You well?

Time, check. Tick tock tick tock. Come on, man, I can’t be sat here waitin on yeh to decide whether yer textin back. Anna Lucia’s-

Simon: There was an earthquake in Northern Italy

Billy: Yes, that is correct - there was an earthquake in Northern Italy

Simon: You ok?

Billy: Yeah man, did you worry? That’s so sweet

Simon: Shut up

Billy: Then you wouldn’t know whether I survived the earthquake in Northern Italy

Billy: Don’t be losin sleep on my account, man - I’m well to the south

Billy: Big landmass, we’re not fallin into the sea

Billy: That sorta thing only happens in America

I pause, thinkin that he might take the bait, but it’s been a minute without a response and I’ve got a stunner waitin on me.

Condoms? Definitely. Check.

-----/Simon/-----

Billy: Simon

Simon: What

Billy: …

The little typing-in-progress dots start and stop, and start and stop again.

Billy: Nevermind.

Nevermind. Nevermind? Nevermind?! What the fuck?! You can’t just - grrrrrr. Sometimes I hate that guy.

Shit. What if something’s wrong.

What if he’s lost fingers and can’t thumb in a text. Besides “Simon” and “nevermind.” Yeah, no, that’s ludicrous, Lewis. Obviously. Certo.

Two hours later, and I’m still distracted. ‘Nevermind?’ Rude.

Annoying.

Fucking obnoxious, is what it is.

I do not need this kind of thing in my life. And I don’t even know the guy. So I delete him from my contacts.

I already kinda regret it.

Fuck.

——-/-/——-

So yeah. Fuck. I still regret it.

For a whole week. Shit.

Did I put it under Terrazze……. Or di Limoni? Ah, ok. The phone ringing in Italian sounds weird and wrong. Sorta like me in Italian.

“Ciao, Terrazze di Limoni, parlando Rosalina. Come posso aitutarti?”

“Um, si, I’m good, thank you…um, I don’t parlo Italiano.”

“Si, signore. How can I help you?”

“Thanks. I’m looking for Billy Delaney. Or, actually, I just need his phone number. I lost it.”

Nothing.

“Billy from the restaurant?” I clarify.

Again, nothing. “Yes?” I ask.

“Yes? Is this a question? I do not understand you, Signore Laywees.”

Ok, redirect. “Do you know his cell phone number? Please?”

“I can not, no.”

“Is there someone who does know his number? Maybe the computer?”

“No. Non signore. I am not permiso. Emmm, how you say, permit to give to you the informazione that is personal to him.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess I can understand that. Makes sense. But since I know him?” Please please please.

She is silent, again. Until, “Is this a question? I still do not understand you, Signore Laywees.”

“I’d really like to talk to him. Via text, I mean. Send a text - to him.”

“Sí, signore.”

“Yes? You’ll give it to me?”

“No.” She makes it sound so final and permanent.

“Do you remember that he and I are friends? I stayed in the suite up on the top floor?”

“Si. You are the American on the roof.”

“I what? No, nevermind. He is still at the hotel, though, right?” Maybe I can just ask to speak to the mana-

“No.”

“Wait, what?”

“No. He is no longer at the hotel,” she informs me.

��But he’s still in Sorrento, right?”

“No.” It sounds so final and permanent.

Panic. “But-“

“He is in London,” she adds.

“Wait, what?”

“He is in London.”

“I didn’t know that,” I say quietly to myself.

“Certo.” Obviously? She thinks I’m obvious.

So now it’s even more important that she give me his number. Cuz if I ever need to get in touch with him, they wouldn’t give it to me. Not a chance.

“No.”

Goddammit, Lewis. “Did I say that out loud?”

“It was quiet, Signore.”

“Pardon?”

“Si. I perdonna you.”

Help? Confused. “Please, I need to talk- to text him. Even more now that he isn’t in Italy anymore. If you don’t share his number,” I say, kinda more to myself than to her, “then that’s it.”

“What is it?”

“I mean-” Shit, I suppose that really is it, then. I won’t get to tell him I’m over Voldemort and her nighty. I was kinda looking forward to that. “I guess it’s just that that will be it. In terms of knowing him. Friends. So, yeah. I guess I just won’t know him anymore.” This is the single most embarrassing experience I have ever had. Since my trip to Italy.

“Ah, si. Ssssssi.” She stretches out the last word, so it sounds like she’s mulling something over.

“Signore Laywees,” she says in a muffled whisper. “His numero is-“

——-/-/——-

Simon: Billy

That Irishman:

——-/-/——-

Rude!

——-/-/——-

Three days later it’s even ruder. More rude. (I’m allowed to think with bad grammar.)

I shouldn’t have bothered getting the number. That’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back. I mean, how many more days is he… You know what? Fuck it. I don’t even care.

This is me not caring.

At all.

—--/Billy/—--

Fucksake, Simon. I was with a girl. Lucrezia with the long legs, and what, you want me to pull out to answer your text?

Y’ know what - I’m done with this. He’s alive. That’s fine. All I needed to know.

Deleted.

—--/Simon/—--

Simon: Where are you?

That Irishman: New phone, who dis?

I - wow. That kind of - stung.

Stings.

—--/-/—--

It’s been a week and it’s still stinging.

Simon: Are you alive?

I couldn’t go a week without texting. What the fuck is wrong with me.

That Irishman: New phone, who dis?

Ow.

He ghosted me. Actually, like, in reality, intentionally ghosted me.

Simon: You know who this is.

You know what? I’m done.

I do not need this in my life right now. My book placing Simon out front as main character is due in two months, but Me Simon, the author? I’m still stuck. I still suck. I’ve scrapped everything I’ve written about him.

So of course I start writing an entirely different story. Which then turns into an idea for a Warlock spinoff series for my most flamboyant and interesting character.

It’s a love story between boys. It’s been building over the course of all three books, and I just can’t shove it out of my head. And the fans want that just as much as they want a Simon book. Easiest way to avoid doing something you need to do? Do something else you need to do.

Shit. I need to do some research.

That Irishman: Why?

Huh. Interesting point. I-

Simon: I don’t know

—--/Billy/—--

I think we’ve gotten past our - whatever it was a few weeks ago. That was weird. Yeah, weird. We were up each other’s arses about - what? Nothing at all. Immature and grating, and yet, we’re still texting. A little more often now. But usually it’s of the “are you alive?” variety, with single word, single syllable answers from Simon. “Are you over her?” “Yes,” that sort of thing. I can’t tell whether he’s pissed, or just wants to know I’m alive. I thought I was supposed to be knowing that he was alive.

Billy: Are you alive?

Grumpy: I guess

Billy: Two words! We’re making progress

Grumpy: Shut up

I laugh.

Billy: I’m not talking, I’m texting. If you want me to stfu, just put the phone down

Billy: Try it - now

Billy: See? Silence. Wasn’t that nice?

Grumpy: You really can’t can you

Billy: Can’t what

Grumpy: Shut up

Billy: Jaysus, Simon. Put the phone back down. I don’t need to be hearing you being mean

Grumpy: Funny

Billy: You know man, you’re like the Hemingway of texting

Grumpy: So literary

Well, he’s not biting. Much. Why do I bother? Have a better conversation with the cat.

Of course my friend Rachel’s a cat person. I like that about her. And her cat.

So I feed the cat. And Rachel, before she’s back to her pub downstairs. I potter about the kitchen, tidying up while I wait to hear back from my best mate, Alfie.

I feel my cell buzz in my back pocket, just as I’m puttin the several thank-you meals I’ve made Rachel into the fridge.

Alfie: We still on mate?

Billy: Do you really have to ask?

Alfie: Yes!

Alfie: I mean no

Alfie: I mean I know - just looking forward to seeing you mate

Alfie: Worried you wouldn’t want to see everyone - you know what I’m trying to say

Billy: I think what you’re trying to say is you’re leaving the house now

—--/-/—--

Is this… I think this is shot #3. She gave us two, and then… so that’s 4? I think.

Oooh, my arse is vibrating. But not for the fun reason.

“Whoa-what Alfie?!” has just grabbed me - bodily - and pulled me up against him.

“Alfie, I love you, mate. You’re a mostly good friend and I guess you’re kinda cute, but-”

He flips us around, drops his arse onto a bar stool, and makes himself very small.

“Tired, mate?” I’m frowning down at him when Rachel sets up another pair of shots.

“For the birthday boy. Where’d he get off to?” she asks, pretendin to survey the room.

I snort. “Here’s yer man. This tiny human here in front of me who appears to find my Vegas belt buckle fascinating. Alfie, mate, what’re yeh-”

“I’m hiding,” he hisses.

“But why?”

And of course it’s just as I’m throwin back shot #5 (4?) when the great eejit grabs me about the waist, yanks me to him, and buries his face in my navel.

So now I’m chokin on vodka and he’s hissing at me to shut up and stand still. “The fuck? What’re you doin?! Stop it,” I wheeze.

“Shhh!”

Still tryin to see past the blindin fire in my sinuses. “Fucksake, Alfie! You know I just blew a shot of clear alcohol out my nose. And I know you do cos you’ve vodka snot in your hair, and runnin down the side of yer face, mate. What the fuck?”

“I don’t care, shhhh!”

So I stand very still and speak very quietly. “Alfie, mate. Why don’t you care that you’ve vodka snot – my snot – runnin down yer face?”

That’s when he grabs both my arms and slaps them on the bartop, caging himself in.

This once again catches Rachel’s eye at the other end of the bar. As it should do. And she shoots me a quick look. I answer with a shrug.

“Do I even want to know?” she asks, headin back our way.

“Would both of you shut up? Hide me!”

Rachel rolls her eyes and leaves me with the child in my arms.

“I’d say I’m flattered, mate,” I whisper. “But you’re freakin me out now. I’m assumin it’s a girl, yeah? Which one is she?”

I’m looking into the bar mirror and spot a face from a lifetime ago.

“Alfie, is that-”

“It’s that fit Thai bird from Bangkok.”

“Alfie, is that Ken?”

Guest starring, Ken

Alfie buries his face in my navel again.

“Yes?” he says in a guilty squeak.

“Why is she here?” I ask very slowly, as if I’m speakin to someone not so bright. Because I am speakin to someone not so bright.

“Erm, well… Because I live here? Probably?”

I need another pint. And vodka’s put me off, as that’s a pain that’s gonna linger in my nasal passages. I signal the lovely Rachel, who nods as she begins to pull me a pint.

“Alfie. Why are yeh hidin? From Ken. Who is now where yeh live. And not in Bangkok.”

“I sort of…”

I give him the ol’ eyebrow encouragement.

“I’ve kind of been sending her sexy pokes…erm, sexy poking with her.”

“For a year?! Wait, no. How long has it been since Thailand? Have you been sexy poking her all this time?”

“Shhhh!” And back to my navel he goes. “I didn’t invite her! She’s just here! Over there,” he says with a muffled rumble into my belly.

“I have a feelin that’s just the beginning of a very long, very embarrassing story. Don’t let me stop yeh. But yer steamin up my stomach and my vodka snot has now migrated back to me. On my shirt. And you know how I feel about laundry.”

Sighing and shaking my head. “Mate, stop it. Yer actin like a baby. Face yer fears or face responsibility or buy her a drink. Those are yer options.”

“How about we buy me a drink instead?” He looks up hopefully, his hands loosening the vice grip he’s got on me.

“And by we, you mean me,” I state the obvious.

“It is my birthday.”

“And we have a history of phenomenally fucked up birthdays here. Are you plannin to make a regular habit of it?”

Rachel places the perfect pint in front of me. I sigh. “Sure’n I suppose you’ll be wantin my pint then.”

He grins sweetly up at me. “Birthday?”

“Thank yeh, Rachel, love. That’ll be one more. But I’ll be takin this one.”

Alfie whines unintelligibly.

“Alfie!” rings out the voice of a high tenor.

I move aside like the terrible friend that I am.

“Judas!” Alfie cries.

“Ken!” I cry.

“Billy. I like seeing you again. I don’t like seeing this one with his face in another man’s chest!”

“Another man’s-”

“Pickles!” Alfie cries.

Guest starring, Pickles

“Lord Jaysus, Pickles!” I cry. I’m over the moon to see our old mate Cheese & Pickles. Another one Alfie made a hash of a start with, leadin him on. But at least in that case, it had been an honest mistake with a cheese and pickle baguette, and quickly sorted. And we made a solid mate out of the mess. I’d hoped I’d get to see him again this year.

Ken, on the other hand, I never had much interaction with her. Nice girl if memory serves, but she is a bit of a wild card. Certo.

I round on Alfie. “Alfie, why is Ken here? How long has this been going on?”

“Two years!” Ken shouts.

Oh Alfie, you feckin brainless eejit, look at the state of yeh.

“He said he wanted me. Me. He never said anything about you.”

I watch as Pickles’ jaw drops open at the implication, and his eyes slide from side to side like it’s Wimbledon.

“I say it again, Billy. He told me he wants me. So I came.” Ken is trying to keep a lid on her emotions, but they’re right there at the surface ridin her.

“Erm,” Alfie begins, looking like things are starting to fall into place in that thick skull of his.

“What was that? Squeak up,” I press. “Today’d be grand.”

“Erm, well,” Alfie begins again. “I-” And his face turns cherry red starting from his collar, ending at the very tips of his little mouse ears. “I may have said-”

“I want you so much. You told me over and over. I want you. I want you so much. Come with me. So I came.”

Pickles zips his mouth shut.

Simon would have relished this moment.

“I am beautiful. You told me! How could you be with him? He is not beautiful.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Pickles mutters again.

“Thanks, mate,” I say. No harm in hearin it, if I’m honest.

“And just where were you when you were telling Ken how much you wanted her? How beautiful she is?” Spit it out, man.

“Erm…” says Alfie, eloquent as ever.

“He was on the computer. Where else would he be? He was not in bed with you!” Ken turns on Alfie. “Were you?”

“Erm…” repeats Alfie.

“Have you no sense, you great eejit? You’re makin it worse.” All skull, no brain. Don’t know why I bother.

We need to get her calm, get her some privacy in a nice, cozy snug in the corner, sit down and sort this out. This is too personal for the floor of a pub. Not fair to Ken.

Guest starring, a snug

Looking disgusted with Alfie, Pickles steps in and picks up Ken’s hand. “You deserve better,” he says softly but with honest conviction. Good man.

Ken’s eyes are welling. “Yes. I do.”

“Oi!” Alfie exclaims in indignation.

I cut him off with an elbow to the ribs and a glare. “Not helping!” I grit out.

“Oh. Oh!” Alfie takes in a deep breath and gives her a sincere apology. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says, and once again buries his face in my navel.

“Alfie!” Ken looks like she’s about to cry quite a lot of tears. “You said-”

And right before my eyes, Pickles’ face goes all soft. I watch it happen right in front of me. That moment you see in films when the boy looks at a duckling like he’s never seen one before, and suddenly she’s the loveliest water fowl he’s ever met. “Ken, is it?” he says softly. “Come sit down. I’ll get you something to drink, and we can figure it out.”

I incline my head toward the snug at the back part of the room. I can see it’s empty.

Ken raises her head high, and pins Alfie with a deadly glare. “You are not worth my tears. Or my frequent flying kilometers.”

Alfie looks ashamed, as he should do, and wisely keeps his fat trap shut. Wise - for Alfie, that is. Pickles leads Ken across the floor as far from Alfie and me as he can be. “Do you have luggage?” I hear him ask as they walk away. Good man. Damn good man.

“You owe Pickles, mate.”

“All my birthday beer is his.”

“That’s right,” I agree.

“That’s right,” Alfie whispers as he downs his two forgotten shots. “That’s right.”

“Alfie. What’s really goin on here, mate?” I ask him. “You realize you’ll be needin to have an honest talk with Ken, don’t yeh? Pickles may have put the situation on pause for the moment. But she does deserve better, man.”

He looks a bit lost.

“What were yeh thinkin?”

He starts to fidget. “Look, man.” I reassure him. “I’m here for yeh, thick, thin, wide, narrow, tall, short. Female. Male?”

“Or maybe somewhere undefined in-between?” he asks.

“Alfie. I love yeh, mate.” I’m bendin down gettin in his face, bein that the man is avoidin eye contact with his head down. “Nothin else matters, yeh see that, don’t yeh?”

Alfie peeks up and looks at me, barely. He’s unsure and deeply unsettled. Ken, in person, has him rattled — profoundly rattled. And can I blame him? Somethin private – and very likely somethin he thought was just for fun with no consequences – just became public and hit home in a very, very she’s at my home kind of way. So much for no consequences.

“Life is real, Alfie. Life happens. Life has consequences. Life is full of good people, in with the bad. Ken’s one of the good ones, mate. If yeh don’t want anything to do with her-”

“I didn’t say that!” busts out of his mouth, before he can think on it. Which, if I’m honest, describes everything that comes out of Alfie’s mouth. He squeezes his lips together, willing them not to speak.

I let it float for a minute, not wanting to give him any outs, but also not wanting to make him afraid to speak. But I break. “No judgement, mate. Do you want Ken?”

He finally lifts his head, and gives me frightened eyes I’ve never seen him wear. “I don’t know?”

“No reason to panic like this. No need to have it all worked out of a sudden, all at once. But you do need to be honest with her. And you need to walk over to that snug with me, sit yerself down across from Ken, and talk to her. Tonight. Let her know how yer feelin, that you might be conflicted, questioning. She’s got to know what that feels like, mate. Hasn’t she?”

He gives me a one-shoulder shrug, lettin me know he’s heard me.

“Go take a piss, do a shot, smoke somethin, whatever. But you’ve got 5 minutes before you have to act like a grown man. I’ll make your excuses til then. And I’m lettin her know you’ll be joinin us in that snug. No runnin from this, mate. She knows where yeh live. Because I’ll give her the street number and drive her there m’self if ye run.”

—--/-/—--

When I finally arrive back up at Rachel’s flat, I’m drunk enough to bump into every wall between the entry and the stairs, which I manage to fall up, and then “Ow!” as I knock my hip against the railing at the top.

I’m tripping as I try to walk out of my jeans and open the bedroom door at the same time. Seems like something that should be possible, walking out of a pair of jeans. It isn’t.

As I fall on my arse with a loud thud and grunt, my guest for the evenin begins laughin at me. I can’t really blame her. I’m drunk. She’s drunk. Neither one of us remembers each others’ names. Doesn’t matter. Except-

Guest starring, Guest

“Oh, Saints preserve us! Jaysus no!”

“What are you on about?” Somethin-somethin-somethin, “on me.”

I’ve no idea what she’s sayin, and couldna care, because I’ve fallen on my phone. “Mary and the sweet baby Jesus, oh thank you. Ohhhh thank you. Oh lord.”

I caress it lovingly – which is really what I should be doing with the bird crawling across the bed in a relatively alluring way. The screen lights up revealing a text notification, and I vaguely remember it buzzing in my pocket at the start of the night. I’d sort of forgotten it, what with Alfie’s nose in my navel. And my nose shortly due to be well below her navel.

Grumpy: Why

“What? Oh no, not you love. Don’t move a finger. I want yeh just like that.”

Billy: Why what?

He replies almost instantly.

Grumpy: Why are my texts like Hemingway

Billy: Brief.

I turn off my phone, and drop it on the crumpled and growing mass of clothing on the floor. After all, it’s important I focus all my attention on my guest’s needs. And I’ve a feelin she’ll have many.

—--/Simon/—--

Fuuuuuuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Again.

I have no idea how to write the Simon book and it’s seriously sucking my will to live. Which, you know, vampire Simon and all that.

OK, so here’s the thing. I can’t just suddenly claim I’m totally different from the character, when the fans know I’ve based him on me. And they know I’m a nerd. A huge nerd. I can’t turn him into some super, supernatural, sleek, and sexy vampire. Nope. He has to be confused half the time. And show periodic feats of great courage, followed by moping and pining and loyalty. The fans love it. They eat that shit up. On paper – not in my actual life. Me Simon, I mean. Other Simon gets to mope all he wants and they still think he’s worth reading about. Fuck if I know why.

I can’t turn him into an amalgam of like, hipster-bass-player-shoegazer-vampire. We’ve all already read the one about the rockstar vampire.

So what kind of person would Other Simon wish he could be?

Ugh, well, 15 year old Me Simon just wanted to be cool and get the girl. 15 year old Other Simon is… a vampire, and will get the girl. Maybe two. Eventually.

I think he needs confidence. Other Simon, I mean. That’s what being a vampire gives him. That and killer abs. (Vamp abs are killer. I crack myself up. This is me cracking up.)

I think that’s his real growth arc – the confidence, not the abs. Wayyy back at the beginning I started him from a place already lagging behind his peers, saving himself for his crush. So becoming a vampire boosts his confidence immeasurably. That’s why we can more easily believe it when he finally gets the girl. For like five minutes.

I dunno. Now maybe he’ll go be a rockstar at being a super-supernatural superhero, rather than an actual rockstar of music. Nobody cares that I play bass.

You, self in mirror. Nobody cares that you play the bass. Just let it go.

Ok fine, me. You win. As usual. Nobody wants to hear the stats on my vintage Marshall stacks. Or about my priceless Rickenbacker, played by Sir Paul himself. Oh my god, why? Whyyyyyy? This should be exciting to everyone, everywhere.

I wonder if Billy would say I’m whingeing. How do you even spell that. Winging? Winjing? Whinging?

Actually, wait. Billy’s a confident person. He’s gregarious. Everybody fuckin loves that guy. Sometimes I hate him, just to prove to the universe that it is possible. Sometimes he deserves it, too. Wanker. Twat. Neither of those sound good in American.

Maybe Ma’s right and I should get out more.

Nah.

What would I even do? I’m supposed to be writing. I’m supposed to be writing. Writing.

Writing.

I can’t believe I went to Italy and didn’t take one picture. Not one. I had a couple good conversations. All with an Irishman – no one Italian. That would be stupid, Simon. (Me Simon, not Other Simon.)

Fuuuuuck.

——-/-/——-

Simon: I was in the seat of the Roman Empire, on possibly the sexiest sea in the world, and I didn’t fucking notice

That Irishman: Yeah, I noticed

Simon: Where are you?

That Irishman: Sorrento, dinner rush, can’t talk

Simon: Pick me up tomorrow

That Irishman: Wait what?

That Irishman: ???

That Irishman: Simon

That Irishman: Simon!

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wantonlywindswept · 2 years ago

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mando 3.8 liveblog (at least it’s finally over)

alright here we go

hey what happened to not being able to use comms

i will consider it justice if axe dies too

ahh feckin imps with beskar

did they? drug him??? hit him?? HE WAS WALKING FINE BEFOR---nevermind

ewwww they even have flamethrowers???? fuckin mando wannabes

also lol really only 2 of them for din??

baby~!!

no torture for din :(

btw BO YOU LET THE INFANT WANDER OFF ON HIS OWN??

tracking?? WHY IS HE RED AND GROGU A GREEN DOT oh cos droid mb? that would make sense. fucking hilarious if they were color-coordinated by gideon tho lmao

scomp. what. what is that word

frankly surprised R5 wasn’t scrapped tbh, he DID deserve it

guys you. you cannot make another R2. i do not have emotional investment in a droid that betrayed the covert

din why ask questions when you can’t understand him

yes! yes if axe dies on the cruiser as his epic death scene i will allow it for paz

fuckin love mandalorians just. flinging themselves out into space. love them.

ah yes the stupid vader shields

IS THIS GONNA BE ANOTHER DUEL OF THE FATES bc it can’t, that shit was too cool to be remade

mmmmm knives

PARRY THIS BLADE BETWEEN THE ARMOR YOU FILTHY CASUALS

i am loving all of his kicky moves

tube people!

are these the mandalorian jedi i wanted--oh my god the bitch cloned himself THE NARCISSIM. i mean im not surprised but

damn that life beneath the surface though, so green

oh boo that means the armorer isn’t the spy doesn’t it

is it just gonna be ‘facist chick and gideon were the spies for the evil facism council’?? so boring.

oh my god that flying saber pose pls

lol u bitches wanna try to take on mandos mid-air? you’re not THAT good of copies

I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT HE WANTED TO PUT THE FORCE INTO CLONES/MANDALORIANS I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT DEMAGOLKA 2.0

technically he exploded them before they could draw their first breath

guys beskar v beskar hand to hand is. silly.

ohh worm? mando vs shithead fake siths?

baby jedi vs sith??

oh god that heartbroken little ‘no’ din yelled

guys you’re being beaten by a giggling infant

oh gideon totes put an exoskeleton in his suit didn’t he, loser

no. no. no. really? really bo vs gideon? my fucking god it hate it.

we were shown how gideon vs mando was important, their fight vs each other during the seasons, and the fight gets passed over to bo. like yeah i get din saving his kid more important but i just. the lack of payout.

woves you’re still alive?

OH?? OHHHHHHHHH UIT BROKE? IT BROKE IT BROKE IT BROKE FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH

seriously the classist bitch gets to live but paz doesn’t??? lame. uber lame. go down with your fucking ship woves

so slippy slidey

okay if gideo died in that fire they abso---NEVERMIND BABY FOR THE WIN

damn love that precedent being taken advantage of. would love if more things were too

rip the great forge

oh??? mythosaur??????? please??????

oh no ragnar

why you gotta be like this

oh i guess they didn’t count his as complete

FUICKING. BAPTISM??

oh we gonna baptize grogu now too?

OH? OH I WAS FUCKING RIGHT YOU DIDNT CONSIDER YOURSELF A DAD YET YOU MOTHERFUCKING GO ON, SAY THE FGUCKING WORDS FUCKING DO IT

MYHSAUR NOW?? FOR MANDO JEDI???

DIN GROGU HELL YEAH. also does that mean the naming styles are eastern asian style? IS DIN ACTUALLY HIS LAST NAME. WOT. is ‘din’ some form of appellation? WHAT IS GOING ON

oh my god are y0ou fuckign srs he has to leave mandalore already what is this SHIT

MTYHOSAUR??? BABY SEE MYTHOSAUR????

oh worm visiting the pubs? yay more carson!!

oh my god are we ACTUALLY bringing back the droid

lawls vacation cabin, glad to see the secondary ‘obtain a house’ quest was fulfilled

oh god we brought the droid back as the marshall

din get a landscaper in there

congratulations din djarin on successfully becoming the npc side character he always wanted to be

#mandalorian season 3 #the mandalorian #me @ the writers be like #this storyline is a lame hill to die on #but at least you're dead #ANYWAY paz just didn't show up bc he was in the infirmary #i make the rules now

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starlightshadowsworld · 1 year ago

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Danganronpa 3 Despair arc episode 7

Thonks

Oh so we're just gonna jump immediately into last time, which was Junko running into Ryota.

And interrogating him now.

Never thought I'd here Junko Enoshima utter the word weeb and yet here we are.

Rude, animators deserve more recognition and stuff.

The irony of an anime character going on a rant about how important anime is.

To another anime character who doesn't like anime.

The fourth wall is taking some hits this episode.

Wasn't expecting him to than show her his project.

And than for to cry.

I love how they had to include a *This is her personal opinion* note as Junko wacks down a bunch of manga with a bat.

Mukuro crying face was legitimately terrifying tho.

Oh no, don't tell Junko how to influence anyone's brains with subliminal messaging.

... Or with anything.

I thought this was just a bit but nope... This is bad... Oh no.

I'm gonna be saying that a lot aren't I.

This is what I get for wondering what Ryota was doing during all of this, because while apart of the 77th class, he's not apart of the killing game or the Remnants.

But he's part of the Future Foundation.

I am concerned about the casual conversation about using media to brainwash people and than Ryota ends it with making the world a better place.

And her smile, oh he is so gonna be a tool for destruction.

Aaannnd Gundam is doing poses with a bear.

Love to see it.

Nagito's still suspended... And was in a plane crash and ended up a deserted island.

Typical Nagito things.

.... Didn't need to see him showering in a waterfall...

And of course straight after that is Teruteru putting a banana through a donut.

I gotta hand it to these guys they really embodied high schoolers.

Gundam saying silence you perverts as a bear chomps on their hands, the best response.

And Ryota's been missing for a week.

I'm sure Junko had nothing to do with that.

Ugh Juzo's here.

Just when I had my hopes up I wouldn't have to deal with him for a while.

But fine, what you gotta say.

... Oh 20 staff members have gone missing... Nevermind that is important.

Juzo, you are the dangerous people. Maybe not specifically these dangerous people, but you do be dangerous.

.... Chisa why would you wanna lay your life down for Munakata?

Literally.... Why?

"Don't let emotions infer with the job you're here to do."

Those are bold words for you of all people to utter, Mr I damn near beat Hajime into a coma.

Get off you're high horse.

Ryota I get what you mean by the new equipment is great but you're always alone, how are you more alone here?

What cos Twogami ain't here to make sure your still alive?

Rude.

Mukuro casually kidnapping Mikan.

Typical day for both of them.

Given how Mikan... Talks about Junko... I am not looking forward to this.

Junko's analyse face is disturbing.

So she was able to, on the second watch figure out how the brainwashing works... Wow.

No yeah, ultimate analyst makes sense.

Oh look it's Izuru.

And she asked him out.

I don't ship it.

OH! I should've seen that coming but nope.

Just bodies hitting the ground, and the bloods pink again.

I guess that would be her version of a date, and Junko's the one doing the killing.

Which is somehow more terrifying

She's usually the woman in the chair, but seeing Junko be the one actively killing and torturing people is creepy.

I dunno if I've mentioned it before but I like Izuru's voice because it very much sounds like if someone had their soul drained out.

And it sounds similar to Hajime's but also not.

... Oh... Oh no...

There's kids in the classroom....and she wants to show Izuru despair on a bigger scale.

The student council too... Not just some random students.

Wait.

I had heard there were other killing games, or at the very least the 78th class wasn't the first.

So this is the first killing game... Ohh that is good.

Man the guy telling everyone to calm sounds so much like Ishimaru in both the sound of his voice and his words.

This is so much scarier than any killing game shown in the games... Holyshit Mukuro just shot a student and went you don't fall in line and do the same you'll end up like her.

No crazy executions.

No class trial.

No Monokuma.

This is terrifying.

Well at least we still have the motive videos.

Mukuro singing while this goes on is just yeah sure.

And it just keeps going... Fuck.

Also it can't be a coincidence that some of these kids loosely resemble the 78th class

I love that the chainsaw says Jason Freddy.

And the fact the last one manager to graze Izuru's cheek.

Typical hopes peak wanting to cover it up, even though Jin does want to say something.

Huh I wonder if that guy stuck with Kirigiri in the present because her father asked him to keep an eye on her if something happened to him.

Junko exposing the whole Kamakura project and the student council massacre.

And using Izuru as the scapegoat.

Clever.

So now the reserve course is coming for the main school.

"Where did you go Hinata?"

Oh erm... You don't wanna know Chiaki.

Trust me on that.

#danganronpa 3: the end of hope's peak high school #Danganronpa #junko enoshima #izuru kamukura #ryota mitarai #long post

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psychologeek · 2 years ago

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part 2 - masterpost:

@troiastar

#Jason: how did you know it was mine?#Bruce: why wouldn't I know#Bruce: I've read your fanfiction#Bruce: I'm your father

@guesst

#ok but also gothamite ao3 wroters would be so funny. 'hey guys sorry bout the late update got caught up in a hostage situation yk#how it is'#and non gothamites are all like NO???? R U OK and gothamites are all like haha nws thanks for updating anyway#sjdjs imagine if someone clocks the second robin is this ao3 writer just because of that a/n. djdh#dc

@oatmealcrisp-freak

#abruptly finding myself relating to jason from DC#when the reviews ask if i've died and every day is spent ill and in pain and in worry for what havoc the medications i take to function are#wreaking on my internal organs nevermind the state of my hair 'oh don't tempt the world dear the next person who tries to kidnap me might#be successful'#jason your luck will improve if you stop leaving your house i know thats gonna be hard for you but just commission a jason-bot or a clone#or something and superhero long distance i know your dad would approve. he's DC's tech guy after all#there'll still be an ass-outlet we have only fans now

@adjit

#he’s part of the JAFF community I believe it in my heart#dc

@willtheartist

#this week ive been dealing with a flood and i finally understood Those Ao3 Writers#smth smth about escapism and the more stressed and/or busy u are the more u wanna go write your silly lil words or draw your silly lil guys

@jasontoddswhitehairfluff

#he was so devoted as a kid that he unconsciously kept writing during his zombie days#I doubt that the league had internet#but that’s not important#he posts under a completely different account#cause if you can’t remember your password while alive you sure as hell can’t when you’re half dead#most of the works are bland with repetitive phrases from his previous ones#he gets a notification from the account after going to Gotham#has the same reaction as adults looking back at their teenage cringe works#he actually wrote those??#zombification is no excuse for misunderstanding character motivation!!#bruce still finds out from getting the notification from the other account#jason had to update something of substance to make up for that mess#crack#jason todd

@brandycranby

#jason todd#gets back to Gotham with three things in mind: destroy the underworld kill batman and finish his 30+ ch fic#batfam

And the he'd check out the account and see a brand new, shiny, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies self-insert crackfic 😂

@chilli-onmy-wieny

#he updates the 400k pride and prejudice zombie au that inspired the movie and is hailed as the bible of the jane austen fandom#you feel me ?#jason todd#jason todd headcanon

@littledead-ridinghood long post:

@stuffsforl8r

#jason is one of those writers who just churns fics out quickly and yet they’re always amazing polished masterpieces#jason is just the most productive person#jason todd

@liavidge

Stephanie quotes one of his fics on patrol and the world ends Superboy Beta style.

@mightyneteyam

#stephanie subscribes to jason's acc#at first she has no idea who's behind it she just likes the author's sense of humor#but the additional notes made her.. squint and connects#Two and Two so she has her suspicions#jason on the other hand has one fav reader who leaves long-ass comments#and absolutely has 0 idea that's steph's acc#this is how stephanie became jason's beta reader#jason todd#stephanie brown

@swugflower

“Hey guys! So sorry for the long pause, got murdered by the joker lmao. Anyway as a sorry have an extra long chapter!”

#I once read a fic written by two authors and one of them actually died#and the other one finished the story#and like that’s horrible but I was so shocked I just had to laugh#like it was in an authors note or Smth#yea she died in a car accident#BRUH

@stvlti

#not sure about Bruce hanging out on ao3 *cringe*#that would be the worst nightmare for everyone involved#but Jason totally writes historical aus#dc txt

@the-lunar-warrior

#jdbsodhdjs JDHSODB#first thing he does after climbing out of the lazarus pit is not go into murderous rage its go update his sonic fanfic

@idek-dood

#help im obsessed with this idea#a/n: sorry guys i had to foght some dinosaurs this weekend so the update is two days late#a/n: my idiot brother was almost killed last night but i was determined to get this chapter out on time! hope theres not too many errors <3#funny#batfam#jason todd#red hood#queued up

@child-of-the-sea-and-sky

#djskalfhlsdkjfh#Now I need a Red Hood short film where it shows someone reading his A/N's and then cutting to the eventsReblogView post

@interplanetary-redacted

#prev youre so right he DID stalk jason's internet use as a kid and got updated via ao3 update emails to discover he's alive#alrernatively he's currently in the LoA updating like ''so i like. died. got adopted by my adopted dad's ex and live w her now in#not-america and my toddler brother helped me write this via babbling and crawling over me and also listening to me read it out loud as#a bedtime story (mom-approved dw) [it has an E rating for the gore] and in general just being cute i suppose :/#here's what he has to say about it: *incomprehensible keysmash* Anyway thanks for still reading if youre here#i appreciate it a lot and im sure i'll have more updates soon between my training and babysitting''#and bruce meanwhile is reading this like EXCUSE ME WTF! TALIA?!#he works on his own arabic translation as homework for talia as well#jason todd#dc

@redrobin-detective

#lmao jason would be the one to be a FF author#him and Tim maybe but Tim is the one posting detailed complex meta thats like a vague story#Jason meanwhile is writing novel length and deeply detailed stories

[i'm up to Aug 29, 2022. It's 5 AM. i'mma go to sleep. good luck and thanks everyone!]

Jason as those AO3 authors who have the worst tragedies happening to them and yet still continues to pump out his new chapter every week

Some poor, unbeknownst Gothamite: “My favorite fanfic writer hasn’t posted or updated any of their fanfic in like four years. I don’t want to bug them but I’m always hoping for them to come back. I hope their okay :( ”

Jason, in between cutting off right hand mens heads and antagonize black mask, like Really Living It Up: “hey, sorry, guys! I know it’s been forever! I literally died and clawed my way back from zombiehood, but I’m back now! Hope you enjoy this new chapter!”

#to be continued #part 2 #master post #masterpost #dc #not dp #jason todd #funny shit #Jason Todd #Jason Todd the Fanfic Writer #Lit nerd Jason Todd #batman #Bat Family #batfam #red hood #dick grayson #tim drake #bruce wayne #hc

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tarydarrington · 3 years ago

Text

Veth doesn’t know who she’d expected to be waiting on the other side of the knock at the door, but if she’d had to guess, Essek Thelyss wringing his hands like a worried grandmother would have been near the bottom of her list.

“Oh,” she says. “Hi?”

He bobs his head, almost more a quick bow than a nod, tenting his fingers in front of his chest. “Good afternoon,” he says, with the distinct cadence of someone who has repeated the words to himself in the mirror all morning. “I hope you are well?”

“I’m all right,” Veth answers haltingly.

The two of them stand there for a moment, awkward silence hanging between them. Then, finally, Essek gives her a nervous smile.

“I do not wish to impose, but, ah…” He gestures past her. “May I enter?”

“Yeah. Sure.” She steps aside, and Essek gives her a grateful nod before walking - walking? - past her into the living room. “Take a seat, if you like.”

He takes the invitation, perching gingerly onto the very edge of the armchair they keep for their larger-sized guests. Veth follows him in, shutting the door behind her and wondering if this isn’t all a very strange dream. Essek barely meets her gaze as she circles around to stand before him. She leans forward, narrowing her eyes.

"What is this? Why are you being weird? Did something happen? Did Caleb die?"

"No!" Essek reins in his volume, pressing his palms together in apology. "No, certainly not. It is simply…"

Veth raises her eyebrows to prompt him.

"Well, I, ah…" His fingers draw little circles in the air, as though he can pull the words out like a spell. "I have read that it is custom in the Empire to request the blessing of a guardian if one wishes to…" The pained look on his face stretches even further. "Court."

Veth blinks at him. He’s serious. He has to be. That face, all pinched up towards the middle, reminds her of the way the neighbor boy looked when he admitted to breaking her dining room window. It looks absolutely absurd on the former Shadowhand.

"Well, I'm sure he would be flattered, but even with the slower aging, Luc's a little young for you."

She can practically see the joke fly over his head. "No," Essek blurts hurriedly, eyes blown wide with mortification. Veth might have laughed if she didn't feel a bit guilty. "No, I…" He brings one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezing shut, and she suspects he's rooted out the sarcasm.

"If you're talking about Caleb," she says as a peace offering, "I'm certainly not his mother."

"No." Essek presses his palms together again, this time in his lap. "I have considered ways to make a meaningful gesture regarding his parents, but…"

He shakes his head. Veth can fill in the blanks. She wouldn't want the beginning of a new relationship to be tangled up in past trauma, either.

"So," he continues. "I had thought, perhaps, that as his closest friend, you might be a suitable alternative."

Well, that’s… She isn’t sure if it’s flattering, exactly, but she’ll accept the show of respect. She takes a moment to scrutinize him as he watches her apprehensively. Essek and Caleb. Caleb and Essek. It makes a certain kind of sense. Once, years ago, she might have railed against it; despite his growth, it’s still difficult sometimes to look at Essek and see anything other than her husband’s former jailer.

But lately, these last few years, Veth has been at home. She’s been with her family, the most important people in the world to her, and Caleb… well, he’s been off on his own adventures. And without Veth there to look after him, it’s been on Essek’s shoulders to make sure he comes back from said adventures alive and whole. Which he has, so far, without fail.

And that look Essek is giving her, as though if she says no, it might actually dissuade him?

"First of all," she begins with a sigh, "you’re not at court. You’re not courting. You're dating."

At the look of confusion on Essek's face, she takes a deep breath.

"You'll take him to have a meal together, or to see a play, or to watch a lecture. Don't do the lecture thing, that's a bad idea. That would be a terrible date." She pauses. "Although, with you two, maybe."

She can tell from the look on his face that she's losing him, so she waves her hands. "Nevermind that. Disregard all of that. The point is, you'll take him to nice places and do enjoyable things together."

Essek shifts uncomfortably. “I… don’t know if I can do that,” he admits. “I cannot be seen outside of the confines of his home or areas outside of the Empire.”

Veth frowns. “Well, you’re going to have to take him somewhere. You have disguises, right?”

Essek seems to consider it. “I do,” he says. “I suppose it would be worth a small risk, from time to time.”

“You’re darn right,” Veth agrees. “And don’t skimp, either. Caleb deserves the best.”

Essek nods entirely too seriously, as though he’s filing all this away in his mind. Veth makes a mental note to pester him with a progress report in about six months’ time.

Not one too rigorous, though. It’s hard to imagine prodding at him for entertainment’s sake when he looks so pathetic.

“Is there anything else?” he asks tentatively, when the silence persists.

“Well, let’s see.” She runs a finger over her chin, theatrically deep in thought. She already knows her answer. “Do you care for him?”

“Of course.” The sincerity on his face almost makes her feel bad about this. “More deeply than I have ever cared for anyone.”

She shouldn’t ask. It’s probably not something he’s discussed with Caleb himself, yet, if they’re only just now getting together. It would be prying, even for her. “Do you love him?” she asks, anyway.

A little, lost smile turns up one corner of Essek’s lips, and it’s almost a whisper when he replies, “How could I not?”

A pang of something that has never quite left Veth’s heart smarts for the first time in years, and she looks away with a matching smile.

When she and Caleb had been traveling with the others, people tended to hem and haw when she brought up how amazing Caleb was. They thought he was talented, sure, but it sometimes felt like none of the others could see the unquenchable light in him. But looking at Essek’s face, at the way his eyes are shining, Veth can’t help but think that maybe, finally, somebody gets it.

"Alright." She reaches out, and before he can flinch away, pats his hand. "You've convinced me. You have earned my permission to have regular sex with my adult, human son."

“I…” His brow furrows. “Truly?”

“Yeah, go nuts.” She waves a hand dismissively. “Caleb’s a grown adult. He can make his own choices, and if he’s choosing you, then good for both of you.”

Essek blinks at her like she’s just handed him a full pardon from the Bright Queen.

“I mean, obviously, if you hurt him, you will have all of us to answer to,” she says. “But you’re the guilt guy, so I think you’ll probably have yourself to answer to, first.”

"I…" He clasps his hands together. "I expected more… what is the word? Pushback.”

Veth braces her hands on her hips. “You know what? Fjord and Jester didn’t even tell me they were dating until I literally saw them kissing, and Beau and Yasha were barely better.” She jabs a finger towards Essek’s chest, ignoring the way he startles at the movement. “So you have just made it to the top of the Winter’s Crest card list.”

Essek presses his steepled fingers against his mouth, but not before Veth catches the bashful smile spreading there.

“Thank you,” he says. “Truly, I… This means a great deal.”

“Heck yeah, my blessing’s worth a lot,” she replies with a grin. “You know what? Tell Fjord that. He doesn’t have my blessing. I’m gonna make him work for it.”

This time the joke doesn’t pass him by, and she can read in his small smile that he’s grateful for the show of familiarity.

“I should hope he will rise to the occasion,” he says, and Veth gets the feeling he isn’t just talking about Fjord.

#shadowgast #veth brenatto #essek thelyss #mine #mine:fic #i really wish i had executed this concept better because i really liked the concept #but i promised myself i would finish one of my billion little ficlet chunks so here is this #veth #essek

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years ago

Text

Canary, Part 6

First

Tim had been watching her out of the corner of his eyes for a long time. It wasn’t that he was trying to be creepy or anything, he just… didn’t know why she was there. It didn’t make sense. She was relatively low on funds according to what he and Oracle had dredged up, and even Tim in all his billionaire-ness recognized that this place was more expensive than average…

So, why had she come? It wasn’t even close to the motel she was staying at.

The vaguely paranoid -- cautious, he was cautious -- part of him worried that she had somehow known he was there, but there was no way she should have been able to know that. Hell, he hadn’t known he was going to this particular cafe until he’d gotten to work and realized that there were now cameras in the breakroom and his office to make sure he didn’t drink too much.

But, really, it seemed like she was just using the free wifi that the cafe provided to write up a resume.

He relaxed and sunk back in his chair with his laptop while he did his work.

… he didn’t get to work for long.

He picked up on the slight gravel of someone putting on a voice with ease. It was high and sweet, a voice he commonly heard from customer service workers. He chanced a look back at the barista and frowned when he saw her on her phone. Not her, then.

He looked around the tiny coffee shop and cringed a little when he realized what was going on. Shady guy approaches a woman who’s drinking coffee alone? Yeah, that’s never a good thing.

He pushed his laptop into his bag quickly, slung it over his shoulders, put the cap back on his coffee cup so the guy wouldn’t be able to tell that Tim had been there for a while, and rushed over.

He rested his hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Hey, bud, she said no.”

Tim watched both of them tense and their gazes were pulled to him in an instant.

Marinette glanced him up and down once. He watched her eyes lock onto his coffee cup for a second and he carefully turned his hand a little so she could see the name.

She smiled. “You’re late, Timmy. Don’t tell me you got caught up in another meeting?”

He shrugged innocently. “You know how it is.” Then, he split into a grin. “Maybe I should be the one that’s upset, though. Can’t believe you didn’t save me a spot.”

“I tried!” She whined. “He insisted!”

The man chuckled awkwardly. “I see. I’m sorry, I thought you were alone.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you I wasn’t. Can you move, though?”

“Actually,” Tim said, because he didn’t want to sit in the window where Duke might happen to see him while on patrols. “There’s a free table back this way.”

Marinette tipped her head to the side a little before nodding. “Sure.”

She closed her laptop with a snap, gathered her things into her bag, and followed him back to his table.

That should have been the end of it. Unfortunately, the guy was still watching them. It looked like they weren’t going to be able to do work for a while if they wanted to keep up the pretense that they were friends.

She seemed to know it, too, because she sighed and rested her head on her hand with a small frown. “Guess we have to talk.”

He huffed. “Don’t have to sound so upset about it.”

“Alright. Fine.”

“Not sounding much more excited.”

She rolled her eyes and then brought a bright smile to her face. “Sure, Timmy, sounds great! Can’t wait to have a super fun conversation with you!”

“... nevermind. That’s weird. Why did that almost convince me? I knew it was fake.”

She let herself lean back in her chair, her face falling back to a slightly smug grin. “I’m Parisian,” she said simply.

Yeah. That made sense. Every Parisian Tim had had the (dis?)pleasure of meeting had had an almost unnerving amount of control over the way they presented their emotions.

He snickered. “Why the hell would you move here, then?”

She rolled her eyes. “Our psychopath was so boring. Like, dude, we get it, your wife died or whatever, that sounds like a you problem. Now, a guy deciding to become a jewel thief purely for the gimmick? Way more interesting.”

“Moral grayness is so twenty years ago,” Tim joked.

“Exactly! Give me dumbasses who are evil purely to be evil and good to be good!”

He grinned. “I can see why you like Harry Potter.”

She blinked.

He motioned to her cup. Scrawled across it in the barista’s messy handwriting was ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’.

She relaxed a little, grinning. “I just finished the books so I’m a bit obsessed. Also, every time I tell them that my name is Marinette they misspell it.”

“Don’t feel too bad, baristas are just like that. Heck, they’ve misspelled my name before.”

“... your name is Tim.”

“They spelled it with a y.”

“... why?”

“Yes. Exactly. A y.”

She giggled a little. “No, I mean why would they do that?”

“Oh. No clue. I hope they were just messing with me.”

The barista was wiping down the tables. It was nearing closing time and Marinette was feeling more and more sorry for the poor workers the longer they stayed. She knew that, when she had used to work at the bakery, she had always especially hated customers that were there around closing time.

Only two tables remained occupied.

She sighed when she glanced over and saw the guy was still there.

Oh well.

She looked over at Tim. “Care to walk me a few blocks in a random direction to see if we can get rid of him?”

“Certainly,” he said.

“‘Certainly’? I may not be super great with American customs yet but even I know that’s weird,” she teased.

He huffed a little. “Listen.”

“I’m listening.”

His nose scrunched. “No, wait, you weren’t supposed to call me out on the fact that I didn’t have an excuse.”

“Oh. Okay, we can try again.”

“Alright.” He cleared his throat. “Listen,” he said again, this time in a tone that mocked the one he’d said it in the first time.

Convenient. She was intent on mocking him, too: “I’m listening.”

“You’re the worst,” he complained.

She laughed. “I am so not. Joker exists.”

“You’re worse than him,” he said in his most serious voice.

She laughed harder. “No one is worse than him.”

He grinned. “I thought you liked people that were evil purely for being evil.”

“But he’s not,” she argued. “The man just decided one day that he liked the weird guy who dressed like a bat and figured that the best way to get that guy’s attention was to murder people.”

“Gotta admit, it works,” said Tim.

She shrugged, grinning. “Yeah, it does. Makes me wonder what would happen if the Big Bad Bat didn’t come, though.”

He tipped his head to the side slightly and then shrugged. “I don’t know, actually. He usually stops it in time.”

“I think he’d freak out.”

“Absolutely.”

She grinned and stretched lazily, head tipping back.

“He’s still following us, isn’t he?” Asked Tim.

“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p’.

He groaned a little. “Great. Looks like we’re heading to the library.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You go to libraries? You could probably buy every ebook in existence and have a few billion left over.”

“One of my sisters works there, I can ask her to get rid of the guy,” he explained. “But I like libraries. There’s something quaint about them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, it’s nice to see how the common folk live sometimes.”

He returned her eye roll. “Not like that. I spend a lot of time staring at screens, I have a special appreciation for regular old books.”

“That’s nice. I wish I had time to sit down with a physical copy like that.”

“You see, I have this genius strategy for making time: not taking care of myself.”

“Go on, this is intriguing.”

“Well, eating and sleeping, right? Everyone thinks they’re totally necessary things otherwise you’d die or whatever. But, listen, that’s just a hoax made up by the government to perpetuate capitalism.”

She nodded eagerly. “Totally totally totally. What’s your solution?”

“Coffee communism.”

“Yes, you should use your rich boy money to lobby Congress.”

He grinned. “I totally should. But I can’t run it by my family.”

“No way! You never know who's capitalist anymore, they could be plants placed by the sleep industry to ensure that you don’t go through with it.”

He gasped. “No! You think? My own family?!”

She nodded grimly. “It’s always the ones closest to you that betray you.”

And then he broke character, snickering behind his hand. She beamed.

They reached the library and he smiled as he held the door open for her. He asked her to wait while he talked to his sister and she waved him off casually, telling him to take his time.

She pulled out her phone and pressed her lips together thinly as she made a note to head over later that night to give the man -- Henry -- his money. She’d give him a little tip because, for a moment there, she’d almost forgotten that they were just acting. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to purposely trigger herself for the sake of believability but, hey, if she was going to try and dupe one of the smartest businessmen alive into talking to her, she needed to go all out.

Speaking of Tim, she updated the file of Tim’s favorite cafes plus the probabilities of him visiting each one. It was for his oldest brother, Richie Wayne. She didn’t know why Richie was the one to ask for it seeing as he spent most of his time in Bludhaven and therefore likely wouldn’t find much use in it, but no one ever really knew why Richie Wayne did anything. The man famously had almost as much cotton between his ears as his father.

But, Richie Wayne was also just as rich as his father, so… she’d give him his file later that night after checking her math with her favorite graphing calculator.

A redhead in a wheelchair rolled past Marinette and she absently held the door open for her, only to be surprised when she cursed out Henry.

She watched as Henry held his hands up and started backing away from the woman in the wheelchair, and then he ran down the nearest alley.

(… she’d give Henry a bigger tip. The man had just wanted a tiny side job to help pay for his wife and kids that wasn’t being a henchman, he didn’t deserve this.)

She opened the door for the woman on her way back inside and mumbled her thanks. The woman nodded once and continued on her way.

Marinette leaned back against the wall again and scrolled through Twitter as she waited for Tim to reappear. Apparently, Poison Ivy was already back in Arkham. Something about an intern at the botanical gardens watering plants wrong. Wild.

Marinette felt someone sidle up beside her and, after a quick glance confirmed that it was Tim, pocketed her phone.

He smiled at her, a tote bag over his shoulder.

“Did you go grocery shopping while I wasn’t looking, somehow?”

He hesitated before holding it out to her. “It’s the French dubs of the Harry Potter movies.”

She blinked as the bag was thrust into her hands and looked down at it. Yep, that was Harry Potter in French. She also, vaguely, noted the tiny slip of paper his phone number scrawled across it.

She slung the bag over her shoulder.

“I’m never going to return these. You’re going to rack up so much debt.”

~~~

NightwingsAss9384: does anyone know why nightwing and canary hate each other?

ScareCrane: She stabbed Batman once on accident and somehow got away with blaming it on him

Daylightwing: She refuses to let B adopt her.

RiddleMeThis: They think it’s funny when their stans fight.

SignalOfficial: They said ‘I’m the only flippy bitch allowed in New Jersey’ and have been fighting ever since

Yummmmmm: He has to or else Robin will get jealous because he’s the only stabby sibling allowed

Oracle: They’re fighting over who gets to change their name to ‘The Dodo’ first.

DeadHood: Nightwing is jealous that Canary was the first one of us to think to have a full-on bird mask.

TheBetterCanary: every time i go into the batfam tag to try and avoid them all i see is his fancams

SpoilerAlert: they’re both convinced that they’re the hottest bachelor/bachelorette in gotham

NightwingsAss9384: im beginning to think no ones going to tell me.

BlackBat: :)

~~~~~

Perma taglist: @nathleigh @peachmuses

Canary taglist: @jayjayspixiepop @unoriginalmess @miraculousfanfic127 @probably-a-hologram @iloontjeboontje

#if i did a kofi would anyone donate #probably not #canary #maribat #timmari #timari #timinette #shutterbug #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #tim drake #red robin

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