#I was just deeping how ungrateful I was tbh but yeah had to get it off my chest

[halloithmeagain]

:)

[sanaxo-o]

Fell in love all over again (Lee Jaehyun)

Warnings/genre: pure fluff, established relationship, making out, the reader overthinks for a while, Hyunjae is the cutest at the end, comfort (?)

Word count: 1,423

Sana: hello..um my Valentine’s Day fic but very late so meh. I was studying for my exams and shit. Tbh it was originally supposed to be for Jacob but he did not fit the vibes and this was also sitting in my drafts for a while so yeah. Anyways this is dedicated to my @from-izzy (don’t divorce me lmao) love you <3 and thank you to @astrae4 for beta reading 🥺. Love you hon 🥰

Tagging: @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @hyungseos-cafe @strayed-quokka @deoboyznet

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Sitting down at the table, you looked around the place, it was a place you would always dream about.

A huge hall with a chandelier in the middle— which was full of diamonds making it shine brightly. You let out a small laugh of content when you notice the ring on your finger.

Never would you have imagined that you would get married to the person you spent seven years of your life with.

You have known Hyunjae since you were in highschool and up until now. And he had managed to prove himself that he was the one for you countless times.

The day you felt alone and needed comfort, he was there for you with a tub full of ice cream and a night full of cuddles as he listened to you talk about your feelings; how you would sometimes just get the feeling of being alone as if no one was on your side and you were left to fight your battles all alone.

But he was there to prove you wrong. To tell you that even though you felt as if you were alone he would always be there by your side with open arms. No matter what happens, he always got your back.

That was also the time when you were damn sure that he was gonna be the man you would want to get married to. No one else would be able to have your heart like he has.

The day you got into your dream university, he was there to celebrate it with you. Even when you doubted yourself about not being worthy enough he made himself clear that you’re in fact one of the people who truly deserve that spot because of your hard work.

You look around the place once more and you could suddenly feel your heart sinking, what if this was not the right thing to do?

You could feel your hand start to shake. All you wanted to do at that very moment was to get up and just storm out of the place, but you were afraid to do that.

It was Valentine’s Day and Hyunjae prepared all of this just for you only to see you storm out like that. You did not want to seem ungrateful so you tried to calm yourself down but the more you pondered about your future the more anxious you got.

From the corner of your eyes you noticed hyunjae walking back to the table. Taking a deep breath in you tried to look normal but as the time passed by, every passing second felt like hours.

Placing your hand under the table you kept your other hand over it in hope that it would stop shaking but it was of no use.

Looking up you observed as Hyunjae took a seat in front of you. Giving you a small smile he poured you a glass of champagne and raised his to make a toast with you.

Holding the glass in a tight grip you clink your glass with his as you take a small sip from it, “Happy Valentine’s Day love. I hope you like what I prepared for us.” Hyunjae says with a soft smile playing on his lips as he takes a sip of champagne from his own glass.

Passing him a small smile you anxiously look around the place, not having it in you to look him in the eye. You knew how happy he was and you did not want to ruin this moment with him just because of what you were feeling.

You knew thinking so ahead in the future was stupid but what could you do? Your habit of overthinking always got the best of you…

“Are you okay?” You snap out of your thoughts when you hear Hyunjae’s voice. Looking back at him you nod your head slightly but you notice how his eyes searched for yours.

You could see the slight flicker in them as he placed his glass of champagne back on the table. Standing up he forwarded his hand towards you as he waited for you to take his hand in yours.

Without any questions asked you grab his hand in yours as you stand up from your seat, “Do you trust me?” Hyunjae asks as he walks towards the exit with his hand hooked with yours.

Giving him a small nod you continue walking with him, “What about the food though?” You ask softly as you stop on your tracks which made him halt in his tracks to turn around and face you.

“Don’t worry. We can come back later, I cannot let you go back home empty stomach now, can I?” Hyunjae says with a grin on his face as he drags you towards his car.

Opening the backseat door he lets you enter the car first as he himself enters once he’s sure that you’re comfortable sitting in the seat.

“What’s wrong, hmm?” Hyunjae asked softly as he tangled his hands in your luscious hair. Pushing the strands of hair behind your ear, he slowly made his fingers come to your forehead as he applied slight pressure on them to give you a massage.

Closing your eyes at his actions you let your head rest against the seat as you take in deep breaths to calm your heart down, “I don’t know, aren’t we too young to get married? What if something goes wrong? I don’t want to lose you..” you tell him, your voice barely above a whisper as you slowly look towards Hyunjae who continues to stare at you with his soft gaze.

“No, I don’t think we’re too young. We’re both financially stable at the moment and I believe in the fact that nothing would go wrong. Our love is strong enough for that sweetheart..” he says as he gently pulls you closer towards him in the backseat of the car.

Resting your head against his chest you close your eyes as you listen to his heartbeat, “Promise me that you won’t leave me alone? Ever..” you whisper with your face buried in his chest as Hyunjae continues to stroke your hair in a gentle manner.

“I promise I will never leave you alone. Ever..” he says as he brings his hand towards your chin and makes you look up.

Leaning down he slowly attaches his lips on yours, sitting up straight you tangle your hands in his soft curly hair as you pull on them while Hyunjae continues to kiss you.

You could feel your heart come up in your throat as he continued to kiss you, his hands wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer towards him if that was even possible.

Pulling away, you gasped for air as you noticed the string of saliva which was connecting you both together, an indication of the intense makeup session you just had. Staring into his eyes you leaned closer towards him once again as you gave his nose a light peck.

Nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, Hyunjae smiled as hugged your figure closer to his warm embrace, “I think I just fell in love with you all over again..” Hyunjae mumbled in the crook of your neck. His voice sends vibrations throughout your whole body as you give out a small laugh at his words.

“Every minute of the day makes me fall in love with you even more if you’re wondering..” you tell him while playing with his hair.

You don't even know when you sat on his lap in the backseat like this but all you know is that this Valentine’s Day was a day to remember.

Stealing a glance at hyunjae you let out a giggle when you notice his ears turning a shade of bright red.

“Are you blushing because of what I said or because of the make out session we just had?” You say in a slightly teasing tone as you poke his cheeks with your fingers.

Looking back up Hyunjae looks everywhere but you, “Oh look at the time. We should head back inside to have our dinner..” he says trying to change the subject.

Opening the door of the car he lets you get down first before he got out. Locking the car you both started walking towards the hall again with your laughter beaming through the night.

The moonlight shining its light on the two of you making it look like a scene right out of a romantic movie.

[satocidal]

This doesn't sound like a good friend at all tbh. It sounds like she's quite using y'all as a temporary support between her already quite meaningless relationships that surely have to do with a deep complex she's got.

Like, I don't know the relationship between you all, but it truly doesn't sound healthy at all and it sounds like she's truly ungrateful for your presence which is definetly something you shouldn't be comfy with, no matter how sorry you are for her.

I'll be mean here and even say that if she treats her boyfriends the same way I truly get why they dip but yeah.

I don't truly know the context. But however you take it what she's doing, especially considering it's not the first time from what I have gathered, it's truly not okay.

Please don't let people use your good hesrt like that 🥺

Take care of yourself! That includes your heart.

And yeah, dorms at the Uni 😅

I ain't got money for rent, after all, so dorms it is.

~🦊

Also what are you studying?

Sorry this turned to a rant 💀 reply under cut<3

Welllll I’ll be honest I’ve contemplated it many times, like yk our friendship. We’ve been best friends for 5 years now so breaking off would seem…idk, like I couldn’t imagine that. I mean at the end of the day she is my best friend—being with her>>>>

Except it seems like she doesn’t want to be around us

And personally I’ve never been fan of her bfs or the fact she is dating (it’s not a very welcome thing in our country especially since she basically started at 11 and things in her house are toxic af) so I love her, I do. But I just don’t like it because I just se her wasted potential and it breaks my heart to hear her crying at the other side of the line.

More so, this time she is being annoying. She was dating this guy and he’s actually nice, like i onky started liking him after 4 months but then we finally agreed to each other and then they broke up. I won’t go into details but yes and now she’s going after (they’re probably already together but they won’t tell anyone anything—not even us) his best friend.

I cannot even—like her ex and his best friend have stopped being friends over that, pisses me off to no extent. And like back in school I suppose she couldn’t avoid us so she had to talk to us, now that we’re in seperate schools, it shows. Like I’ve nkt talked to her in months—and we go to the same coaching inst. like same floor.

[heretherebedork]

Am I the only one getting really annoyed at Porsche's whole behaviour?? Like he started off as a goofy, bumbling, sweet, but sarcastic, and bratty person, but now I'm just getting irritated at his trust issues, his seeming antipathy to all matters except making love to Kinn but still never, ever talking to him about his problems and always being suspicious without ever giving Kinn a chance to explain. And similarly Kinn is like only ever thinking about sex without telling Porsche anything!

And Porsche is really such a shittt friend, no matter what justification anyone gives. Literally during the funeral I wanted to smack both Kinn and Porsche's head together over them eye rolling at a visibly distressed Tankhun. It's like Kinn doesn't even care he hasn't heard back from his most "trusted" bodyguard in days when he knows all the previous bodyguards he has send to the Minor family never returned and similarly even Porsche is like "I don't care, and he is fine" when Pete went on almost a suicide mission for Porsche!!! Like talk about being ungrateful.

And I don't even wanna get started on how he sold out Pete to Vegas. It still boils my blood. And I don't know what the script writers were thinking making their main couple characters essentially so selfish.

[ even towards Chay, Porsche feeling have palpable moved from deep love to just love, at least that's what I feel.]

Anyways I just wanted to rant about how disconnected I feel from Kinn and Porsche since ep8.

Hey, I've felt disconnected since the side story so... welcome to the party, yo.

I'm frustrated by both of them because the honest answer is that the show has made Kinn perfect and unable to make a real mistake, it's always someone else' fault and probably Porsche's fault, tbh and then we're supposed to laugh at Porsche and sympathize with Kinn but boy do I not care.

Neither of these character are the people we met at the start of the show and not in a natural growth or a well-fucked up kind of way but in a flanderization kind of way and it's frustrating. They made Porsche the butt of every joke and gave him all the issues while they made Kinn the perfect loving boyfriend who will Always Choose Porsche unless it's the wrong choice or if he needs to not choose him to protect him.

Weren't we told again and again and again and again that Kinn had trust issues? That Porsche dreamt of a quiet life? That Porsche put his brother above everyone and everything else? Now, how long has it been since we were shown any of that? A long time.

You know, I actually like that they made Porsche at least a little selfish because at least it's a character flaw that isn't being played for laughs. It's something at least, compared to what the rest of the show keeps doing with him. I want flawed and serious characters.

Kinn's only character at this point is horny on main for Porsche and that's.... it. All I can think about is how he surprised him with a visit to his parent's grave (what!?!!) and then went listing all of the things Porsche ever did wrong and then just vaguely mentioned that he 'made him sad' once or twice like, fucker, really? But, nope, it was cute and silly and Porsche is just funny to be maybe a bit bothered by that and can't be bothered for long! Because Kinn can never do anything wrong ever.

Porsche's emotions are treated as a joke and Kinn can't make a mistake or face consequences and that just doesn't make for a convincing or interesting couple to me.

Also yeah that funeral scene pissed me off so fucking much and I will never forgive either of them for not giving a shit about Pete who still feels such loyalty to them and deserves so much better.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being a new Avenger who can’t control their powers

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: reader has like, seismic manipulation, ig like sky from aos (ive never seen aos but yeah) and super strength and stuff

prompt: @the-radio-star: “Ooooh ok could I please request some marvel headcanons for the avengers accepting a new member that’s still struggling to control their powers?”

the avengers were no strangers to your situation

bruce was probably the most understanding of the bunch, knowing that having powers that you couldn’t completely control was a huge burden

tony would “analyze” you to see if there was any way he could help with his expertise

“okay, if you wear this necklace, it might lower the possibility of an ‘episode’”

“tony...that’s a collar”

“you are all so ungrateful these days”

yes, there were ‘episodes’

as in, you’re powers emerged at bad times and put other people in danger

“guys...is there an earthquake or.....”

“Y/N!” -everyone all at once

the avengers had different ways of calming you down enough for you to regain control

like, it usually happens out of the blue or it’s triggered by emotions, but the feeling of losing control only freaks you out more

none of the avengers were a bit scared of you

from the beginning they knew that they could trust you

natasha would fearlessly approach you while you were in the midst of a power-breakdown and just sit next to you, getting you to sit down too

“i’m just gonna stay here and wait for you, is that okay?”

“yeah...yeah, that’s okay”

“do you know what you want for dinner tonight? we can’t agree on anything”

thor just admired your power tbh

“a power like that would be envied by any warrior where i come from! you are not to be trifled with, young y/n”

clint 100% has “alternate activities” for you to partake in to distract you from any sort of matters that may cause a “power surge”

tony had to engineer a training room that could withstand your powers

wanda!!! she knew what it was like to struggle with powers, she went through a lot of training to perfect them

she used some of the more pleasant methods to help get your business under control

she wouldn’t dare use the torturous methods that HYDRA used

“okay, take a deep breath with me” *inhale/exhale* “open your body, extend your arms and legs. feel what is surrounding you. feel the power that is coursing through your veins”

she felt your powers begin to slowly work at your will

it wasn’t that you didn’t know how to use your powers, it was that sometimes they got the best of you

but on the battlefield? you were recognized as a total badass

“holy shit, y/n just turned the power up to 200!”

“should we help them?”

“i think theyve got it covered”

just demolishing the competition

sometimes your teammates would just stop and watch

but steve had to hop in sometimes, just to make sure you got all the help you could get

“dude, just stop worrying! y/n can handle themself”

“just because they can doesn’t mean they have to, sam”

sam took that one to heart

sometimes you couldn’t stop your powers and the team would straight up just watch you collapse while the ground vibrated beneath them

“who’s turn is it to carry y/n home?”

everyone ALWAYS makes rhodey do it

“you know, you all suck. the only reason i’m doing this is because i guess im the only one that cares about y/n. you’re all heartless”

you’d always wake up later and immediately be exasperated with yourself

“i did it again, huh?”

“yes. but good work! thumbs up!”

okay, but sometimes it was just little things

like, you sneeze and the floor shakes and scares the FUCK out of everyone

or you’re close enough to someone to make them feel like they’re falling

extremely. heavy. footsteps. STOMP STOMP BITCHES

oh, and grabbing dishes (plates, glasses, etc.) and them just completely shattering in your hands because you were buzzing a bit and now you’re only allowed to use paper plates and plastic cups

but now you don’t have to do the dishes!!!!!

you have a fucking nokia though bc you smashed your other phone

peter roasts the fuck out of you for it

“oh my god, y/n, is that a nokia? that’s stronger than thor’s hammer!”

“can i see your phone real quick?” *immediately cracks in hand* “tony can fix it”

“oh...”

pretty much just trying to keep your powers in check 24/7, which can definitely be exhausting, but you have a really good support system!!

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

[beyoncesdragon]

title: have a look yourself

× pairing: Jae x f!reader ((I think?)), (established relationship)

× summary: Spending Christmas with Jae sure is entertaining and full of surprises. 

× warnings: none, FLUFF

× wordcount: 1.3k

× a/n: listen, I don’t know? I kinda lost myself there at the end tbh, I never meant for it to go there. Also, I put f!reader because I used the term “wife someone” and I don’t KNOW IF YOU CAN SAY THAT TO A GUY/NON BINARY PERSON I’m sorry. Pls educate me. (also, watch me pretend to know anything about guitars here, lmao bye) Merry Chrism y’all!

main masterlist | day6 masterlist

“Your Christmas gift for me is…my own album?” Jae asked, looking up just slightly confused. You had troubles holding back your laughter as you nodded, trying to muster an innocent expression. How you had waited for today, longed for the moment you could finally give him the gift you’d planned out so carefully. It had taken you months of planning and messaging back and forth with the company, countless nights spent editing in front of your computer.

Jae flipped the red and black box over, suspiciously eyeing the back of it. “Uh…thank you?” you rolled your eyes. “Open it, Jae come on!” he gave you another confused glance, only hesitatingly fumbling with the lid.

“Will it explode? Hey, why are you filming?” you shook you head quickly, motioning him to just finally focus on the task on hand. He sighed, having decided that questioning you or your choice of gift wouldn’t bring him any further now. All that was left was opening the album. With another sigh he flipped the cover open, facing…the completely regular content. There were the preorder-gift polaroids, a bookmark (with Wonpil at that) the lyric cards, photo cards, the photobook and in its back, as Jae knew, would be the CD. Nothing special. Jae was more than confused.

“I’m sorry, did I miss something? Did like, a fairy elevate from it or something?” you only laughed, shaking your head.

“Nope.” Jae sighed, giving you big, very confused eyes. “Jagi, help. I don’t want to seem ungrateful, I just really don’t…get it?” you gave him an innocent smile once again and nodded towards the album.

“Unpack it. Oh come on Jae, have you never unboxed an album before? Do it like me when I get mine in.” he snorted.

“I only make them, what would I unbox them for. And what do you mean, do it like you. Does that mean I’m supposed to squeal over Jackson Wangs face when I see him pop up somewhere?” you threw the discarded wrapping paper at him.

“You’re no fun Jae, seriously. Just go through it, Jesus Christ!” he sighed dramatically before finally, tilting the box so it’s content would fall into his hands. He gave you a quick look and you just nodded, urging him to continue.

“Am I supposed to go through the photobook?” you shrugged. “I mean, what would you do first if you were a fan of yourself and would get this in the mail?” he pursed his lips slightly. “I am a fan of myself. Y/N you’re no help at all.” you only snickered amused. “Jae, you’re a stoic little boy. Hurry up.” He gave you a glare before opening the photobook…and almost dropping it again.

“What the fu-?“ you couldn’t help yourself any longer and burst out laughing. Instead of the group pictures he’d probably expected, there was…something else. Still a group picture, with just the tiny difference that all the members wore Wonpils face. Jae flicked through the pages of the book, scanning over every picture before looking at you with a horrified look on his face. “What did you dooo?” he whimpered, opening the book at the page where he’s supposed to be – and was – but with Wonpils face montaged over his own. You couldn’t answer just yet, your breath hitching with giggled as you watched Jae stare at this army of Wonpils all over the pages of the book with a look of disgust.

“I’m speechless. How did you even get this done, who helped you. JYP himself?” he ran his fingers over the smooth surface of the pictures, now fighting a small smile.

“The demon, indeed.” Jae mumbled, and a tiny smile started to tug on his lips. You were on floor laughing, more than satisfied with your gift, more than happy with his reaction.

“So you wanna tell me…that you went through all this trouble…all of this…just so I would have a book with Wonpils face?” you nodded, teary eyed, sore throated  but happy. “For my favourite boy. A special edition, only copy that has ever been made. You like it?” he narrowed his eyes.

“C’mere you little minx…” and he leaped towards you. With a shocked squeal you scooted out of reach before getting on your feet as quick as possible and speeding for the kitchen. The chase did not go on forever, actually it ended almost instantly. Jae was faster (also because you wore fluffy Christmas socks which made everything dangerously slippery)  and had you trapped in his arms in no time. He picked you up for half a second maybe, right before he fell backwards onto the sofa, where he took it upon himself to tickle the living hell out of you. Only after a good ten minutes he stopped with it and pulled you into his chest.

“You’re so annoying.” Was all he had to say, the fond smile on his lips betraying him. You only grinned, turning around so you could comfortably rest in his arms. He glanced down at you, a smile dancing over his lips. You reached up to press yours against them, as if to catch the smile before it vanished.

“Now did you like it?” he laughed softly, pulling you tighter for a second. “Sure. Would you be mad if I burned it or something?” you stifled a laugh, intertwining your fingers with his, resting them on his belly.

“I kinda expected you to at least frame a few pages. You could hang it up in the studio, right over your guitar stand. The colours would look great with that deep red Gibson you got.” Jae hummed amused before he snapped up.

“Wait the what?” you bit back a tiny smile. “The deep red Gibson Les Paul Studio, you know that guitar. It would go well with the red aesthetic moment you guys got going on in the album.” You repeated, acting as if nothing was wrong.

“I…I don’t have a red Gibson…? I only have a black one, you know the old one…?”

“Are you sure you don’t have a red one?” he sat up, giving you a weird look. “What are you…”

“Oh come on, you didn’t really think I just got you the Wonpil photobook, did you?” his jaw fell slack.

“You got me a guitar?” you grinned proudly. “Younghyun helped me pick the right kind, since I have less than no knowledge about guitars. It’s waiting for you behind the coats in the hallway…I had to hide it somewhere. Go have a look.” Jae was on his feel faster than a chicken on speed and sprinted towards the clothing racks, slithering coming to a stop in front of them.

“Holy shit.” You laughed. “She’s beautiful! I can’t believe…are you serious?” he brushed carefully over the shinny ebony, placing the guitar in a way where it would rest safely on his lap. You leaned against his shoulder as you watched him brush over a few strings hesitatingly. The dark red fit beautifully into the scenery, the light up Christmas tree and cozy atmosphere, accentuating everything with a more Christmas-sy feel. “Damn. I know I shouldn’t swear on Christmas out of everything but holy shit, she’s beautiful.” you shrugged lightly, shooting him a wink. “Suits you perfectly then!” he clicked his tongue and gave you a slightly unbelieving look.

“Keep that behavior up and I’ll wife you before this year ends.” You huffed amused. “Yeah I mean I would, but I do not have the financial capability to do that, good Sir. You can still wife me, tho.” He shot you a quick grin before diverting his gaze back to the guitar.

“You know, I’m gonna do it anyways so...” Jae mumbled almost absentmindedly, gaze still fixed on the guitar. You looked up surprised, feeling a tingle rise in your chest. 

Was he…serious?

“Oh yeah?” he looked up at you, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “What? Did you think I only got you a box of chocolates and those lame ass concert tickets for Christmas? The ring is in the top drawer of my nightstand, I had to hide it somewhere.” This time, it was your turn to stare at him blankly.

“Shut up Jae, you’re kidding.” He leaned back with a smug grin, shooting you a wink.

“Go have a look yourself, babe.”

— ✩ thank u for reading ✩ —

[iamfallinforeverything]

First Love (3/4)

Sorry that it took me so long, but the past few days were actually more stressful than I thought. Anyway, here it is finally. Hope you like it 🤗 Also there is def going to be a fourth part. I wanted to finish this little series with this part then it would have taken me even longer to finish that part and I didn’t wanted that 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries, The Originals (Kol Mikaelson) 

Summary: The rest of the Mikaelson family learn about your little problem with leaving the property.

Words: + 1.9k (I missed 2k by just a few words 😒)

Warnings: swearing, i can’t think of anything else tbh 

Last Time: 

I didn't really remember how I got into the room either. All I knew was that Elijah had helped me. And after that, it was all just a blur. Damn alcohol.

And please, don’t ask me where the stupid blanket went that Elijah put around my shoulders because I don’t have a fucking clue.  

***

When I woke up, my head was pounding. I've rarely had such a headache. But I knew exactly what helped to relieve a headache. Hopefully there would be something like what I needed.

Exhausted, I stretched and looked around. Slowly the memories of yesterday came back. So my mood sank somewhere in the area of the earth's core. I had absolutely no desire for what was coming to me in the near future. Ha, especially how should I explain to my parents that I was stuck here? Hopefully someone of my ancestors had already done so. I don't know how, but maybe I got lucky.

Why were my ancestors such assholes anyway? I hadn't done anything bad to them. Yeah okay, except for asking for help and maybe I had been a little bit naughty and ungrateful once or twice for the life I had. But who hadn't sometimes?

Defeanded I finally got up. I had no choice anyway and I needed something for the headache. Besides, if I ever wanted to be free again, I had to find a way to turn the Mikaelson siblings back into humans. And somehow I would have to convince Niklaus that being human wasn't as bad as he thought.

Surprisingly, I even wore yesterday's dress. It had just changed back to its original color. My father's spells didn't last very long. In the trunk of my car there should theoretically still be my suitcase. Maybe I could bring it here with a simple bringing spell.

A small gust of wind opened all doors for the transport and a few minutes later my suitcase was in front of me. So my car was open again. Thank God. It wouldn't help me though.

Quickly I changed my dress for my favourite trousers and top, slipped into some socks and put on my favourite shoes.  I combed my hair once and breathed deeply.

At some point I had to get out of this room anyway. It's best if I just get it over.

One last time I went through my hair and made my way out. I immediately heard voices from downstairs and made my way there. I had to get through it now.

Carefully I went to the room where the voices came from. Immediately everyone became quiet when they saw me. Everyone was there, even Kol. Somehow my heart became heavy when I saw his smile disappear when he looked at me, but I just pushed that feeling aside. Right now I had far worse problems than understanding this strange situation with Kol.

"What does the little witch still want here?" Niklaus asked and pointed at me with a downward hand gesture.

"She can't leave.", Elijah replied and smiled at me friendly. At least someone.

"Pardon?"

"My ancestors bound me to this property. I can't leave until I've fulfilled my promise.", I explained.

"Oh, wonderful." mumbled Finn, rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'm off. Your problem."  

I rolled with my eyes. Finn was definitely someone who was extremely annoying. I'd like to turn that jerk back into a human being. Maybe then he wouldn't be such an asshole anymore.

"So now we get to entertain the little witch and help her destroy our lives?" Niklaus asked and looked at his brothers.

"She's stuck here. Either way, she's not getting out of here. We can help her find a way back out. We owe it to her.", Elijah replied.

"You and your stupid honor feeling Elijah.", Niklaus rolled his eyes. Kol was completely silent and looked apathetic to the floor.

Silently I looked back and forth between the brothers. They were wildly arguing. As if I had chosen to be stuck here. I could think of at least a thousand things I would rather do than rot here on this property. Let's be realistic. Finding the cure for vampirism was very unrealistc. How many witches had tried and failed before me? Why should I of all people be able to find such a cure?

At some point I just turned around, annoyed, and left the three of them behind. I didn't care. So I need to help myself. I left the building and wandered around in the garden. Maybe I should call my parents first before I did anything else.

I looked for a quiet place and got my cell phone from my pocket. That would be fun for sure. I sat down in the grass and dialed my mother's contact. With trembling hands I held my cell phone to my ear.

"Y/N?", my mother answered the phone.

"Mommy.", I started crying as soon as I heard her voice.

"What happened?"

"I'm stuck here. Our ancestors tied me to the property and I am too weak to break the spell. I can't leave, mom.", I cried.

"Why? What happened Y/N?"

And then I told her about yesterday. About Esther and the Mikaelson siblings. About my promise and about Maila.

"Oh Y/N... "You've really screwed yourself, my love.", was the first thing my mother said.

I laughed and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I know.", I replied.

"Good. I'll talk to our circle now and get back to you, okay? Don't be afraid, you are strong. You can stand up to them if you have to."

"I know, Mom. But I just want to go home."

"I know, honey, I know. I'll help you. We can do this."

"Thanks, Mom."

"See you later. Call you soon."

"See you later, Mom.”

She hung up and I took my phone from my ear and put it next to me. I took a deep breath and wiped my face. Only I could shit like that.

***

A little time passed and I was still bound to the Mikaelson property. And I hadn't really gotten any further with that either.

I had the spell that Esther cast back then. I knew what she had used and what she had bound the spell to, but it didn't really help me.

I didn't have an antidote or a removal spell.

Elijah helped me where he could. He would get me ingredients, talk to other witches, update my parents. I had made friends with him and he was the only one I trusted here. I had not seen Finn since he left on my first day here, which I was very happy about. Klaus avoided me and with Rebekah I had already made the one or other girls evening. I got along well with her, but I could not really trust her that much. She was too loyal to Klaus for that.

And Kol was a whole other situation. I could still feel this weird bond between us. It was like our souls were bound together in ways that made no sense. Why would a witch's soul be sired to a vampire's? Who would do such a thing?   Besides, soul spells were terribly complicated and hard spells. They always involved a great sacrifice. Who would willingly make that sacrifice? It was stupid. Anyone who cast a soul spell was just terribly stupid.

But today was my father's birthday and I was still stuck here. I couldn't be there and they couldn't get to me. I was bound to the property and my family was kept away. They couldn't even come close. I couldn't even see them through the barrier. Fortunately, there were other ways to see my family's faces. It was already dark and I was standing outside in the garden, one of my favorite places here. I held my mobile phone up to my face. My parents smiled into their camera and showed me everyone. It was nice to see everyone, but I just wanted to go home even more.

There had to be another way. My ancestors were little beasts, but they weren't thtat cruel. There was a loophole, there always was. I just had to find it.

After my parents and I hung up, I wandered around the garden a bit, helped some sick plants and just enjoying the fresh air.

But some time later I spotted Kol. He was standing in front of a flowerbed with an old type of flower. They were my favourite flowers and I often stood in front of the field myself.

I don't know what it was, but something drew me to him. I had a strong need to be near him.

Carefully I walked towards him and just stood next to him. That was enough for me, even if it did not calm this annoying desire.

Kol sighed when I came to stand next to him. He could feel it as well as I did.

"You are so different from her.", Kol sighed without looking at me. I knew immediately that he meant Maila.

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"You look like her. Everything about you looks like her, but your personality, what makes you who you are, is so different. She was quiet, withdrawn, good. But she could also rebel, stand up for what she felt was right, fight for what she loved."

I could do that too. Kol just hadn't seen it yet because he always avoided me.

"And you are so different. I can't describe it, but your whole personality is different."

"Is that bad?"

"No. It's just...", he didn't finish, instead he turned away from me and ran a few steps towards the house.

I could feel the soul spell right away. My heart immediately grew heavy and contracted in pain.

"Stupid soul spell.", I gasped and put my hand on my chest, right where my heart was sitting.

I looked at Kol. He had a posture similar to mine. Once you gave in, it was hard to take your distance again.

"You feel that too?", Kol asked and turned to me. Just the fact that he looked at me made my heart lighten again.

"Yes. I'm pretty sure it's a soul spell. Someone has bound our souls together so we can find each other again in every life."

"In every life?"

"There is more than just this Kol.", I smiled at him.

He just sighed and came one step closer. My heart became a little lighter again.

"There was nothing like this enchantment between Maila and me. It never felt that way between us. So why is it between the two of us like that?", Kol became angry.

His whole look and nature changed. He stood up straight, stuck out his chest and pulled his eyebrows together.

"I don't know. Soul spells require great sacrifice. Not many practice these spells."

And then it looked like a light was switched on. Like someone had found the last missing piece of the puzzle

"Of course.", he muttered and shook his head.

His posture loosened again. I relaxed, as well.

And then he just disappeared. Fucking vampire speed. But this time my heart didn't hurt. Kol had a different intention this time with his disappearance.

I waited a moment for him to return. He didn't come back.

Sighing, I turned around and looked into the field of flowers in front of me. No flower was like the other and that is why I loved this kind of flower so much. Every flower was different, unique, but somehow they were similar.

I wonder what kind of "enlightenment" Kol had before he left. I would probably never learn about it anyway.

But who the hell would link our souls together? Who would bind us together? Especially why?

And then it clicked for me as well and I wanted to kick my own ass. That I didn't think of it before.

[mxnark]

ball of fire n. a dynamic person capable of or displaying rapid and highly effective thought, action, etc.:

(aka the moving out solo)

it’s obvious that the past month hadn’t been the kang household’s favorite due to recent events involving the daughter. a drift had been caused by the fact that mina was essentially going against her mother’s wishes for her. rather than doing what her mother thought was best for her in order to live a happy life, she instead followed her heart- wait that’s too cheesy- her gut by signing a contract and going home in hours so late that she is the only one making a peep in the house as she quietly walks to her room.

though she didn’t get to see her mother for most of her days, she couldn’t deny her presence in the house. she was sure her mother couldn’t deny her own daughter’s, either. she feels as if her mother had a cloud of disappoint in her head over the fact that mina isn’t the daughter she had hoped to be. mina’s cloud, on the other hand, was of guilt over the whole situation. and her usual bright, fiery personality is dimmed by the late hour when she opens the door to her home.

there are nights where she doesn’t even go to her home at all. in the last month, she asked to stay at daniel’s after practicing for evaluations with her group. she doesn’t go in-depth with her reasons as to why, but she thinks he understands enough if he lets her stay over. and on those nights, the ache in her heart is more faint.

that’s the reason as to why she and her father are carrying things out to his car. it was going to take her to the train to her new home with chungha. somewhere closer from work. further from… here. it makes sense, anyway. with her being a new addition to the hertz project that the older was also involved in, it only strengthened her choice in wanting to move in with her. and thankfully, she said yes, despite the fact she knew how rambunctious kang mina could be. (she jokes… mostly.)

as he closes the trunk of his car, he looks over at her and asks her a question. “you wanna say bye to your mom before you go?” mina makes a face. “come on. please?”

“okay,” she says with a sigh, walking into the house to head for her mother’s room. the closed door is more intimidating than it should be for her. after all, she hasn’t… verbally spoken with her mother since everything happened.

she knocks on it, taking a few seconds before twisting the knob and peeking in to see what her mother was up to. she was faced away from the door, looking at something that mina couldn’t see from outside. she decides to go in properly to talk to her mother.

“mom,” she starts off, her voice going silent due to timidness. “i’m getting ready to move. i just wanted to let you know. dad and i already got everything in the car, so i’m good to go.”

silence in response. that’s fair, in her opinion. she thinks she deserves it, to be honest.

“i wanted to let you know before i had to go on my way,” she continued, feeling more and more embarrassed as she spoke. “and… thank you for all these years of taking care of me. i know you and dad do a lot for me and i know i act ungrateful sometimes. i guess i was just upset about moving to korea.” and about other things, but she didn’t want to anger her mother with her honest thoughts about the family. she feels as if she’s better than that.

“thank you for loving me and always looking out for me.” though it feels weird to say, considering everyone in this house knew that her mother and her certainly didn’t see eye to eye on what was best for the girl. “i know i’m not the best daughter, especially with all that’s happened. but i’m thankful for all that you’ve done for me. i’m not good at letting you know, but i love you. a lot.” she bows her head to the other to end her speech. it felt… polite, but also fitting for her to do.

she waits for a response from her mother. with the fact that she was more closer to her than she was while waiting outside her door, she was able to see more of what her mother was doing. she had a book open. and it didn’t take long for mina to figure out what she was doing before she heard her mother sniff, still not looking at mina at all while she was there.

she turns around to save herself from staying any longer. she knew that if she did, she’d only regret her decision and she didn’t want to. this was good for her. but even if so, it hurt to basically have the fact that she hurt her mother be confirmed.

a tear strolls down her cheek, but she wipes it with the back of her finger, sniffling as a way to hold herself together. after taking a deep breath and blinking her eyes rapidly to dry her eyes from spilling any more, she walks downstairs before heading outside to the car once again. she walks up to her dad and he looks at her with a small smile. she’s not sure what it means. it was either pride or sympathy.

“you ready to go?”

she nods her head.

“alright. let’s go.”

ginger is a color she’s never really thought of trying before. she was always afraid of the concept of bleaching her hair. the lightest her hair was before this was a red-tinted brown and that was because she used cheap box-dye for brown hair. but she didn’t hate the hair. in fact she loved it, as she was the one who asked for it. sure, the process of it was itchy for her scalp, but the result came out perfectly. and she feels a lot more confident.

she makes sure to post her selfies as soon as she comes home, her face all smiley after she had just seen her boyfriend. as soon as she gets on her bed, she grabs her phone to send him a few texts, the happiness still very much in her as she wishes him a good night. god, never did she think she’d be all giddy because of a boy. but she’s happy that boy is choi soobin. she’d rather it be him than anyone else.

kang mina. in a relationship. she really couldn’t get that thought out of her head.

she lies in bed on her phone for a few minutes before she jolts up, having the urge to write her thoughts down. there was a lot she wanted to record in her journal since the last time she had written in it. and only half of them were about how soobin makes her so happy. gosh, she’s bonkers for him to the point that it’s embarrassing.

as soon as she finds the journal and her usual pen, she begins to write in it.

august 2020

i have so much to update you on!

it’s only been a month since i became a trainee in sphere and i just got added in the heartz project! it’s a project that sphere’s doing for their upcoming girl group and three girls have already debuted!!! OMG it’s so exciting to be involved with such a project!!! there’s a lot of talented girls in the project. like yoorim (who joined the same time i did!!! we have so much in common it’s kind of scary), chungha, the lee gahyeon, and the yuzu!!! and so much more cool people!!!! unfortunately, it means i won’t be doing evaluations with my brother or other trainee friends until the project is over (or if i debut. but that’s a big if! there’s so many talented girls in the project!!). but, the coaches must’ve seen something in me, so all i can do is work hard and prove myself that i’m worthy!!!! and also make more friends, because everyone is seriously so cool. >_<

i also dyed my hair!!! it’s ginger… or orange? or red??? i don’t know but it’s that color!! and i look really cool with it tbh!! i kinda look like beverly marsh when she had long hair… or ladybird… or flame princess… or any cool person who has had ginger hair. either way, i look super cute with it!!

and i showed soobin a pic of me with it and he was so cute omgggg ㅠㅠ ugh he’s seriously so great every time i talk about him i get all smiley and butterflies get in my stomach and !!!! yeah wow i need to have another entry talking about how much i like him it’s kind of embarrassing but thankfully i can be all gross about how much i like him in here

i finally moved out of my parents’... it was hard, i will admit. having lived there for so long since i came back to korea does that, i guess. i don’t think i would’ve moved out had it not been for the getting casted thing. i always thought i’d leave after i graduated from ungrad school then move onto grad school. but, i’m not going to school!!! so that much has happened lol

i’m going to miss a lot of stuff about living with them, but i know it’s for the better. idk if i’d want to see my mom for a while. maybe my dad, but not her. idk we’ll see! for now, i’m just happy that i’m living somewhere better. and with someone i can look up to!! even if i am getting closer to chungha unnie, i really do think she’s such a cool person and i hope she can debut in heartz, soon… and hopefully i can debut with her!! but we’ll see what the future holds!!!

and i’ll keep you updated on that future, too!!

that’s all!! i’m getting tired and i don’t want to drool on u lolol gn!! will write in u… in a month maybe? 

after she finishes the last sentence, she closes the book and starts to get ready for bed. 

[redjaybathood]

Prompt: Damian and Jon need a baby sitter for a night, and Jason is the only person available.

The most difficult one to answer, tbh. It is so nice and fluffy, and I am not in the mood for nice and fluffy as you could have gathered from my previous answers. That’s why it took me, what, three days to start. I couldn’t quite bring myself to ruin it for you tbh. But now, I put on my big girl pants and here we go.

There is no universe in which Jason babysitting Damian and Jon makes sense, for me, if it’s not a no capes!AU. So, imagine the Waynes. Bruce is a playboy, filantropist and a business mogul. Dick, his first adopted child, separated from the fam when he was seventeen, moving to New York with his friends for a while, being a model. It was 4 years ago. Now, the life-style lost his interest for him and he graduatew from a police academy and became a police officer in Blüdhaven.

Tim is living with his parents and doesn’t really even speaks to Waynes outside of an odd social event.

Damian was won in a custody battle against Talia. Strange, that, seeing how Bruce didn’t even know about Damian until 2 years ago, and wasn’t particularily happy to find out.

Jason was adopted 3 years ago when he was 13.

He had one blissful year at the Manor.

That'a kind of the only thing that makes him stay there, still. That, and high school graduation - something he gave up on a long time ago - is so near he has a calendar on his wall.

This is his obsession, in a way. He was told he is a bright student, so he just needs to apply himself. He tries, okay? It’s still hard. He needs all the help he could get only he can’t ask for help. Who would he ask? Other people from school? Assholes. Friends? Not tutor material. Bruce? Yeah, right. Dick hadn’t have a formal education until his 7 grade either. Damian didn’t go to school until last year. They both excel. Jason doesn’t have an excuse. If he goes to Bruce, it will be all, well, if you hang out with Roy Harper less, if you stop picking fights in school, if you read less fiction and more text books. “I believe in you,"Bruce says. "You’re such a bright child. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.” So what does it mean for Jason that he doesn’t? Is Bruce wrong and Jason is dumb as fuck, or is Damian right and he is just lazy and weak, as his mother was, as his father was, that’s why they were poor and died?

So, Jason needs time, alright, more than he has left, to straighten out his records, so he could apply to colleges and, maybe, even get a scholarship - Bruce can afford tuituon for 100 Jasons but. He cautht a tail-light of Dick’s fights with him. They weren’t about money, exactly. They were about Bruce trying to control every fucking thing. And it is, Jason thinks even if Dick denies, a little about money, deep down. Jason doesn’t think he will be able to say fuck you to Bruce as freely as Dick, if it comes to that. And he doesn’t think he has it in him to go the catwalk model route. So when the time comes when Cass arrives, Jason kind of feels better. Bruce has even less time now to ask him how he does at school, or go with him to baseball games, or ask him where he’s goinf so late at night or where he spent a weekend, or talk to him about his future at Wayne Enterprise - what fucking future, Jason doesn’t say, with your blood son here being groomed to take over since his birth. Should Jason, what, fight him for it? Take a job knowing there won’t be ever a chance to grow? Count him out.

So yeah, Cass, she’s nice and all, even if she can’t really stand Jason - he’s too loud for her, too angry, too ungrateful, or whatever. She is nice and takes up a lot of Bruce’s time, and the rest is divided between Damian and WE and whatever else. No one is on Jason’s case. That’s how Jason prefers it.

Sometimes Bruce remembers him. Usually when Damian gets into fights - don’t be like Jason, Damian. You see he doesn’t have any friends outside of no-good junkie Harpee? You don’t want to be like Jason, do you? And you, Jason, don’t be like Jason either, you have a little brother now, you need to be an example for him. Why the fuck none of you are Dick. Not you, Cass, you’re perfect.

It’s not always like that. Sometimes it like this:

“Cassandra has a ballet recital tonight,” Bruce says. “Do you want to come, either of you?”

“Jon is supposed to arrive here in 40 minutes,” Damian scowls. “You arranged it with Kents, don’t you remember?”

“I have homework,” Jason says.

“So you will be staying at home, then, will you?” Bruce hums. “No sneaking out to catch a train to Star City?”

“Oh my god it was one fucking time,” Jason says. That Bruce knows of.

“That I know of, and don’t swear,” Bruce says. “Then it won’t be a chore for you to keep an eye on your brother and his friend.”

“Uh, it will? If you need a babysitter, you should hire a babysitter. It’s not like you can’t pay. Or there’s, you know, Alfred.”

“Alas, Carrie is not available tonight, and I won’t allow a strange person without proper background checks to step inside the house where my children live. And Alfres won’t be staying at home, he expressed a desire to see your sister’s success himself.”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Damian said. “I’m ten.”

“Yes, you do,” Bruce and Jason saie at the same time. Bruce added, “I promised Clark there will be a supervision”.

“Look, I don’t care, I’ve got work, alright?” Jason said.“ Hire a ffff…reaking agency temp or something, they do background checks themselves.”

“Not as thorough as they should. You weren’t with us yet when Dick was kidnapped the first time, the nanny did it. So you see why it is not an option.”

“Why should I care? I am not, again, a babysitting service.”

“Do you want me to pay you?” Bruce snapped. “Is that what it is about? Where does your allowance go? I pay for your closes, I buy you all the games that are released for the big dumb thing in the living room…”

“I have a trust fund, Todd.” Damian reminded - for the countless time, but sullenly this time. “I will pay you not to babysit me.”

“You mean Dick’s gaming system? Which me or Damian ever touch if we have people over and that happens lately, lemme think, never? Because Cass is so fragile and esily overwhelmed, Jason, if you had better friends, Jason…”

“If Harper could be trusted to be a civilised human being…”

“You never minded him when he was Dickie’s friend!”

“Dick stopped being friends with him for a reason!”

“Yeah, ‘cause Dickie is a pig now!”

“Because Dick is mature and responsible and yes, an officer of the law. And Roy is someone who this law breaks. I thought you wanted to distance yourself from this world!”

That’s.

Jason gulped down his angry tears.

“Because my mom died a junkie, huh? I guess I’m like my father, don’t know when to cut loose dead weight.”

“Jason,” Bruce stopped and continued more quietly. “Of course you’re nothing like your father.”

“I meant you, you asshole.”

Jason got up from the table but Bruce caught his wrist. He haven’t said anything for some time though.

“I am just worried about your relationships with him,” he said eventually. “You know the story only from his perspective.”

“He is my friend, not Dick, so it’s kinda enough.”

“No, it isn’t. Dick wouldn’t just leave a friend in trouble, you understand that, don’t you? But time passed, and Roy refused to be helped. Dick grew up and Roy didn’t. But, Jason, Roy is older than Dick is. Haven’t you asked yourself why he wants to be friends with you?”

“Not this thing again,” Jason groaned. “We are just friends. It is because I’m cool and all around awesome and he’s a certified genius so he recognises that. And I guess he’s enough of dumbass to keep being around even if the rest of my family are such dicks to him. But even if whatever lifetime movie playing in your head was true, you know you don’t gotta, like be so fretful about my virture or whatever? It’s, like, 4 to 5 years too late for that, depending on your definition of virtue.”

Bruce squeezed his hand even harder.

Jason shut up.

“You are a vile human being,” Damian proclaimed and turned to Bruce. “Do you really consider him a responsible and trusted person? Jon and I will be much better off without.”

“Yes,” Bruce said. “I do.”

Jason just. Crumbled onto himself.

“Yeah,” he said, “All right, fine, great.”

Math could wait.

[hypereactive]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? my best friend

2. Are you outgoing or shy? shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my best friend

4. Are you easy to get along with? depends. i try to be, but im also REALLY picky/have strong opinions on a lot of stuff, and im autistic..

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? yeah

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? a caring one, who listens before judging

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? yeah

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? my best friend

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? sometimes

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probably my best friend

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “o”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? uhm. I like A LOT of songs.

billie ellish- bury a friend and you should see me in a crown

rag’n’bone man - human

rebel - black pearl (hes a pirate)

Aladdin soundtrack - Prince Ali and one jump ahead

arctic monkeys - Do I wanna know?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? rarely

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yea

15. What good thing happened this summer? new job, in my field of study

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yepp

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? probs at least simple life

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? only if I run into him getting coffee (he works there)

19. Do you like bubble baths? if im in the mood

20. Do you like your neighbors? one i do, one i absolutely dont, the rest i dont interact w

21. What are you bad habits? im REALLY picky, and can come off as ungrateful (if u can’t do it right id rather u just not do it. apparently its more common to think at least you got something/they tried.)

22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere w the right people. Nowhere without.

23. Do you have trust issues? kinda. More like I understand people wont understand me or meet my needs adequately.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? morning coffee

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my chin/teeth

26. What do you do when you wake up? if I have ResponsibilitesTM i get up and get coffee and leave the house in less than 20 min, otherwise i lay in bed on tumblr until i have to get up due to responsibilities or hunger.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? im good w where its at tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around? my best friend

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yeah. 

30. Do you ever want to get married? yeah

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? lol yesss

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? none?

33. Spell your name with your chin. bdfuds

34. Do you play sports? What sports? not really. i like frisbee and longboarding if those count.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? no. I cant keep secrets.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? i usu dont. ill just go on my phone/leave/etc

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? my best friend. 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? hot topic

40. What do you want to do after high school? lol im not in high school

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends on what they did and why, and if they want to grow as a person/make it right

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im tired/overwhelmed/content/bored

43. Do you smile at strangers? if i lock eyes with them and they smiled, i might smile back, but im pretty good at Not Looking At People

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? ResponsibilitiesTM

46. What are you paranoid about? having a heart attack and no one being around to help me/not noticing until its too late

47. Have you ever been high? yea

48. Have you ever been drunk? yea

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black

51. Ever wished you were someone else? no, but i have wished my parents were

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my chin probs. idk i like myself

53. Favourite makeup brand? i dont wear makeup

54. Favourite store? this is a duplicate question.

55. Favourite blog? uhm.

56. Favourite colour? black/grey/light pink/raspberry/celery green

57. Favourite food? cheese, cheddar brats, spinach, chocolate chip cookies, milkshakes

58. Last thing you ate? rice w beef, spinach, egg and soy sauce

59. First thing you ate this morning? coffee and nutella

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I think so but i cant remember. Oh i think I won an anti-bullying poster competition once.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? lol nopee

62. Been arrested? For what? no

63. Ever been in love? few times now

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? uh. no. cuz i didnt even like the dude.

65. Are you hungry right now? no

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i only have one real friend so I feel like thats unfair

67. Facebook or Twitter? tumblr.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? still tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? lol no

70. Names of your bestfriends? no, bc hed not appreciate it

71. Craving something? What? not rn

72. What colour are your towels? grey or floral w pinks and blacks and oranges

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yes, usu. 2

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? total? uh. 8?

75. Favourite animal? birbs prob.

76. What colour is your underwear? why?

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate, unless its ice cream. then vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? berry (any) or cheesecake (also any)

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? grey

80. What colour pants? a darker grey

81. Favourite tv show? uh. i like sherlock.

82. Favourite movie? deadpool probs. or pirates of the Caribbean. or Aladdin. or detective pikachu.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? never seen either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? never seen either

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? n/a

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? uhm. I cant remember. Probs the black and white one w the scar, or the starfish, or the sea gull

87. First person you talked to today? my sister

88. Last person you talked to today? my best friend

89. Name a person you hate? my past roommate

90. Name a person you love? my best friend

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? my past roommate and most recent ex

92. In a fight with someone? currently? no? ever? yes.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 5

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 6

95. Last movie you watched? i dont know

96. Favourite actress? i dunno

97. Favourite actor? i dunno

98. Do you tan a lot? no

99. Have any pets? no

100. How are you feeling? i dont know

101. Do you type fast? yeah

102. Do you regret anything from your past? yeah, but not overly

103. Can you spell well? i think so 

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? no

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? i dont think so, but i want to (w the right people)

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yeah, oops

107. Have you ever been on a horse? yep

108. What should you be doing? cleaning my house

109. Is something irritating you right now? no

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yea

111. Do you have trust issues? yea

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? my best friend

113. What was your childhood nickname? B. as in, just the letter

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yea

115. Do you play the Wii? no

116. Are you listening to music right now? yea

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? not usually

118. Do you like Chinese food? i think so

119. Favourite book? uhm. sherlock (the whole series). the uglies series (scott westerfield). the secret garden. Fahrenheit 451. 1984. 

120. Are you afraid of the dark? no, but sometimes im afraid theres something in it

121. Are you mean? no

122. Is cheating ever okay? no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? if i want to

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

125. Do you believe in true love? im not sure i know what this means

126. Are you currently bored? no

127. What makes you happy? i dont know

128. Would you change your name? no

129. What your zodiac sign? gemini

130. Do you like subway? i cant eat there

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? lol weve been dating for a while now

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my best friend

133. Favourite lyrics right now? uh. I dont know.

134. Can you count to one million? that would take a month, so no.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i dont know. probably that i couldnt go to work bc i was “throwing up from a migraine” when i hadnt thrown up (yet).

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? it varies

137. How tall are you? i think im like. 5′8″?

138. Curly or Straight hair? curly. but not consistent

139. Brunette or Blonde? i am a brunette

140. Summer or Winter? winter. i can always wear more clothes

141. Night or Day? night. its quiet and calm

142. Favourite month? august and october

143. Are you a vegetarian? no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? yes.

145. Tea or Coffee? yes. depends on time of day/year/mood/etc

146. Was today a good day? i dont know

147. Mars or Snickers? mars

148. What’s your favourite quote? “if you cant explain it simply, you dont understand it well enough” -einstien is one of them. but there are more

149. Do you believe in ghosts? i dont know

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “aunt lillian’s footsteps became more distant, became whispers, were gone.”

@ramblebrambleamble i got bored and answered all of them

[pavlovers]

sunshine, bleeder, certainty, bluebird, cosmogony, bachelorette, avalanche, step, michigan, hope

diana!! how i’ve missed you in my inbox :))

sunshine: what was your favorite song as a small child?

gotta be honest i dont really remember my wee years as very music-filled. my parents dont tend to play a lot of music around the house anyways, and when they do its almost always khmer music, which i now know bops, but back then i probably understood too little to really emotionally attach myself to it. the 1st song i remember reaaally liking was like tik tok by kesha but by then i was 8 years old so i was more of normal sized child than a small one

bleeder: what brings you hope when you’re lost?

i think the main reason i overall feel a lot better than i did last year is that i’m just actually thinking about the future. there may be things rn that make me unhappy that i just cant control unfortunately but like pretty soon im going to be jetting off to college and it’ll be like,, an entirely new setting. there’ll be new people in my life who will care about me, new experiences 2 be had!! there is just too much life left for me to get through to like give up now tbh

certainty: what’s something true that seems impossible to you?

that yours truly can now park. an entire car. without hitting other cars. extremely weird indeed!

bluebird: what do you dream of most often?

ever since i started averaging 3-4 hours of sleep on weeknights, my dreams have become like a lot more relevant to whatever i happen to be worrying about at the moment, whether its getting bad grades, or my friends not liking me, or in general being bad at something. of course theyre always weirdly exaggerated like one time i dreamt i failed a history test and my history teacher immediately accused me of skipping class and intimidated me into leaving her classroom. definitely should start getting more sleep so i can just not remember my dreams again instead of them just being weird hubs for my anxiety to manifest in

cosmogony: what’s your favorite creation myth?

ooh ive just found out what cosmogony means so umm hmm.. since im not very theistic or the very least well versed in mythology i guess i dont have one?

bachelorette: what’s a metaphor that describes you well?

just listened to the bourne identity so something that’s coming to mind is “glass-bottomed ego is still afloat but can’t you see the cracks appearing in the base?” gotta love A. Turner 😔

avalanche: what’s your favorite poem?

oh definitely definitely this one of yours! also am very fond of sonnet: to eva by sylvia plath and claude mckay’s after the winter

step: are there any songs you feel possessive towards?

idk if i feel possessive towards certain songs as i more consider them somewhat integral to my identity and heavily associate with myself,,,so yeah there’s uhh fluorescent adolescent, time to dance, weird fishes, the less i know the better,, oh and of course my dearest pavlove since its right in the url and everything. 

michigan: do you like where you grew up?

oh well yknow, i dont want to be ungrateful because southern connecticut is a relatively affluent area and it has its many obvious perks. but yeah i cant see myself staying here forever. wont miss potholes, dreary winters, vineyard vines, the shear amount of people who vape in school bathrooms, and never getting out all that much if your parents are too busy to drive you practically anywhere since you live knee deep in suburbia. might miss being a mere hour and a half away from both manhattan and boston & familiar grocery store chains like stop & shop and shoprite. 

hope: are there any words you pronounce funny?

i mean i still think it’s pronounced “jif” even though most everyone i know says “gif”. also i frequently mess up “sudoku” as “suh-doo-ku”

[starboyholland]

Motion | Prince!Harry Holland au

Requested: yep Rating: PG Summary: Prince Harry is essentially having an identity crisis until you show up and give him something to fight for.

Tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if I re-write this at some point but I liked the concept and really wanted to get it out quickly so yeah I hope this isn’t too bad!

A/N: yes this is 100% loosely connected to the prince!tom writing called garden :) also requests are open!! Please don’t let my inbox be dry! Happy reading!

////

They always say that strict parents create sneaky kids. Well, Harry imagines this must be true, especially in his case. He had strict parents, strict advisors, strict teachers and strict tutors and strict drivers, all on top of a strict team of body guards on him at all times.

Everyone seemed to have a say on what he should do, where he should be, what he should wear, what he should say, what he should read, who he should talk to, when he should wave to everyone outside of his home the palace, what parties he could attend and most importantly, everyone seemed to have an opinion on when he should step up to replace his parents on the throne.

It wasn’t that Harry was ungrateful, it was just that with being a prince, it was hard to figure out who he was beneath the title. He tried to spend time alone, tried to reflect on his life, and his choices and everything else he could possibly go off of to figure out who he really was, but that was hard considering the fact that he was rarely alone and even more rarely made his own decisions.

Still, he knew things could be much worse. He had seen the children of commoners running around with torn clothes and bare feet on the other side of the bridge to the castle and he knew how privileged he was that he would most likely never want for anything in his entire life.

Ever since he was a child, he’d been doted on every moment of every day. He was always at least relatively clean, always well fed, educated by the best instructors money could buy, and never told no directly by anyone other than his family.

He was particularly grateful for his brothers, one of which, Tom, had recently fallen madly with some girl from a train and had left on a long trip to meet her family before officially announcing their engagement to the public.

Harry longed to be more like his brother, who was more free spirited than he was, Tom was the type to talk to a stranger on a train whereas Harry was the one who’d do his best not to rock any metaphorical boats, especially where his parents were concerned.

He was sick of it, but he never broke the habit of quietly going along with all of the plans his parents, the king and queen, had mapped out for him. He wished he could do something that mattered, he constantly heard talk of some new rebel leader in the village, somebody always sparking hints of rebellion and organizing rallies and other things his parents found to be dangerous nuisances.

He had always been told that the village was exquisite, and his constant desire to please his parents drew him to never ask the questions he really wanted answered.

This included allowing them to assign more people than necessary to take care of them. Harry had tried to respectfully reject their decision to assign a maid specifically to respond to his every need but he couldn’t bring himself to exaplain another time that he could take care of himself now, considering he was essentially an adult.

So here he was, opening his chamber doors to a girl in a pale dress that matched the uniform every worker in the palace wore.

“Hello, your highness,” you spoke to him for the first time from the opposite side of the door, not meeting his eyes. The last thing you wanted to do was get into trouble with the prince who seemed to be about your age.

You slid into a deep curtsy before standing back up, your hands clasping each other in front of you and your eyes down as you’d been instructed to do for years now. Your hair was tucked into a simple bonnet aside from a few stray hairs that fell to frame your face.

“Hello, you must be the help that my parents assigned for me?” He questioned, you nodded slightly, keeping your head slightly bowed all the while. “I see,” he replied quietly, and you wondered if he always sounded so unenthused.

“Well, come in, if you’d like, I can show you around,” you nodded and followed the prince into his room. You’d never been so close to one of the royal family before.

Usually, the other workers kept you far from those in power because they all knew that you strongly disapproved of the monarchy, or at least how it was currently performing.

Your anger was specifically directed at the king and Queen, and while you tried not to let it show, you couldn’t help but bristle whenever they ordered their staff to throw away money on another ball to marry off another of their sons. Money that could be spent feeding the poor or reducing taxation on the villagers, you always thought to yourself while paying for decorations and helping to dress the many visiting princesses.

But when the king and Queen requested a girl to assist their son in every day tasks, you were the first to be volunteered, everyone in the kitchen wanted you to progress as far as you could, so out of love for you they elected you to fill the position, hoping that maybe it would help you out or increase your pay. You assumed neither would occur but you were thankful for their efforts.

“So this is my bed, there’s the window, careful over there, sometimes the latch gets loose and the panes swing open, yeah?” You nodded diligently, returning back in your mind to the present. “There’s the closet, and the dressing table,” he trailed off, realizing how uninteresting the tour probably was to you.

“Everything is pretty straightforward, if you have questions don’t be afraid to ask,” he offered a stiff smile and you nodded curtly in response. He nodded his own head slowly, turning and walking away to sit on the bench of his bay window.

“Do you need anything from me, your highness?” You questioned, trying to sound more meek than you knew you were. He would never see you on top of a barrel in the town square speaking passionately about social justice to anyone who would listen. He would never come to a meeting to organize one of your rallies that you knew bothered his parents and their advisors.

You were sure you’d be fired- or much worse, if he caught wind of what you spent your time away from the palace doing, you reminded yourself. You’d had this job since you were a child, and it was the only logical way you could think of to support your ailing family at home in the village.

Prince Harry was only an employer to you, no matter how many times you’d stolen glances at him while you worked around the castle. You tried to ignore the feelings of melting when the two of you looked each other in the eyes.

“No, no, I’m alright, thank you, love,” the name slipped from his tongue without him thinking of it, and the two of you shared a pause, letting his slip sink in.

He had forgotten for a moment- just for a second, that you had no interest in being his friend, that he was pathetic for even letting himself think that you were here for anything more than to do your work and go home at the end did the day. He had seen you around often and couldn’t help but be intrigued by you, he refused to admit to anyone, even himself that he’d developed a crush on you, but he couldn’t fight the feelings of butterflies in his stomach when he saw you at his door.

“Right, well, I was told to just stay nearby in case you need anything, so, should I stay here, your highness? Or would you rather I go?” You inquired, lifting your eyes to meet his slowly, trying to gauge if he would mind. His eyes were so much kinder up close, you thought, if close meant across a room.

“Would you like to go?” He offered a small, lopsided smile with a slightly lifted brow. You inhaled, trying to think what you really wanted. “Well, I don’t have much else to be doing,” you spoke slowly, walking forward a few steps to stand near a large wooden trunk at the foot of his giant bed. “May I, your highness?” You motioned curiously to the trunk. He nodded instantly in approval. “Oh, yes, of course, make yourself at home,” he smiled gently. You nodded slightly and sat down on the trunk.

“So, if you don’t have any thing more pressing to be done, would you like to get to know each other a bit?” He was dying for you to say yes. He’d seen you so many times around the palace and he wouldn’t speak of it out loud to anyone, but he loved to see you, face contorted in concentration on whatever you were doing.

He had never been so happy before you had met his eyes voluntarily, your eyes were gorgeous, you were absolutely gorgeous.

You were everything the castle and his life all around, were not. You were warm, and natural, you were fiery and genuine. Harry knew he had never been so interested in one person in his entire life before you.

“Sure, if that’s what you’d prefer, sire,”

“Please, just call me Harry, if you don’t mind, at least when it’s just us?”

You took in his words and drew your eyes away from your hands that were folded on your lap to glance up at him again. He was already looking at you and you couldn’t help but be even more smitten when you saw him again.

“So, what’s your name, love?” This time the nickname felt slightly more natural. “YN,”

He nodded, he could barely stop himself from repeating the name over and over. He wanted to keep speaking your name over and over again- it suited you, and he loved it.

“So, where do you live?” You explained you lived in the palace with the other servants most of the time, and every once in a while on holidays you visited your family.

You chose to keep your nightly escapes to the village to yourself. Harry could never know that you were the rebel leader everyone mumbled about in the palace. He was a prince and there was no doubt in your mind he wouldn’t understand your efforts to create reforms.

Harry nodded thoughtfully, “you must miss them?” You nodded again quickly and stoped yourself just as suddenly. “I mean, I love working, I’m so grateful for this please don’t think ’m not, it’s just,” Harry’s soft, understanding smile halted your words.

“It’s alright, I’m not like my parents, I won’t get cross with you, or anything, dear,” you could get used to his constant reassurance. Harry could only hope he wasn’t coming off too strong.

This went on for weeks, you even got your own bed in Harry’s quarters, the two of you bonding rather quickly and soon becoming inseparable. While you loved the days you spent at Harry’s side, more as a friend than an assistant, you couldn’t help but hate that sharing a room meant that it was harder to sneak out to the village every night. Especially when Harry had a hard time falling asleep without feeling you next to him in his bed. The two of you had bonded more than anyone expected, nobody knew the true extent of your feelings for each other, neither of you even daring to tell the other.

What you didn’t know, was that Harry had noticed. He’d noticed every night that you’d snuck out of his room and he couldn’t help but be confused as to why you seemed anything but reluctant to come to bed with him to sleep, and why he’d wake up with you once again at his side every morning. He wanted nothing more than to know where you went every night, so one night, he followed you out.

At a safe distance, of course. He waited just long enough not to be caught by anybody as he slipped a jacket over his sleeping clothes.

Following you down the long winding staircases of the palace he knew so well, he loosely trailed you down through the kitchen to the back door. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the lower levels of the castle. He followed you out of the palace and down a long road to the village. He rarely came to the village, he’d only it with through a heavy team of security blocking his view.

As he followed you deeper into the town, he was shocked by what he saw. Everyone at the palace had told him since he was a child, that the village was prospering.

He now only observed poverty, and he couldn’t believe he had been so naive to the struggles of the people he was supposed to lead his entire life.

He followed you into a clearly abandoned building and was shocked to see you receive a loud, warm welcome from a mass of people on the inside. They all knew your name and clapped you on the back as you rose to stand on a makeshift stage, made out of materials that looked like old barrels and crates. You stood so confidently there in front of the crowd in your nightgown, Harry fell in love with you even more, here, you weren’t the shy, contained person you were at the castle when the two of you weren’t alone. You’d grown comfortable with Harry, he knew that, but here he saw a whole new side to you.

“We need progress, and action, we’ve been trying for years now to reach our goals through discussion, clearly this isn’t working,” you spoke clearly and calmly to the crowd, who replied with affirmative noises.

“We need to strike out with more force. For our families, for our children who are starving because we have no money to feed them, for our brothers and sisters and parents and friends who can’t work or can’t support themselves on their pay,” you spoke again, receiving support from the crowd.

Harry stood towards the back, observing the scene. He noticed that the room quickly filled completely, the longer that you spoke. You called for revolution and reform, for a new start for the working class. Free of overly high taxation and abuse from the royals. He hated how you spat out the word royalty, he’d never loathed himself the way he did when you spoke about the abuse you’d suffered at the hands of people in power. Those people were his family. He’d never felt such loathing for his family before now.

“You know my story, friends, I never wanted to become all of this, but things have to change, I work every day to provide for myself and my family, and even that’s not enough,” you implored passionately, your hands accentuating your points as you spoke.

By now the crowd was growing slightly restless and the energy that spread through the people was electrifying. Harry had never seen so much genuine passion in one room before.

“Now, friends, we need to fight for our right to live freely, we will meet next week at the palace gates to express our needs, I have hope, the prince, he is different from his parents-”

Your eyes scanned through the crowd and you could barely hide your shock at seeing the prince there in the crowd, his informal clothing, messy hair and tired eyes making him seem like one of the villagers. Your eyes widened and you felt as though the breath had been knocked from your chest. You tried not to let it show as you spoke.

“He is kind, and understanding, when he is king I believe we will have a new start, but we cannot wait for that any longer,” your eyes flitted away from him.

“Alright, stay courageous, my friends, we live to fight another day,” you cheered, launching your first into the air. Everyone in the room followed, cheering loudly. You hopped from the barrel and the crowd began to disperse as you walked through the crowd that parted effortlessly for you. You tried to keep yourself from running to the familiar boy in the crowd, the prince.

“Your highness,” you spoke barely above a whisper. “You weren’t supposed to see this, I understand if you want me to go, I know that these rallies upset your parents, but I couldn’t sit idly by while my people suffered, please don’t stop us, you can take me away, to the dungeon, just please leave these people alone, they need to be free for their families to survive, Harry,” you pleaded, just above a whisper, trying not to attract attention as you and Harry walked out of the room, following the crowd.

Once the two of you made it out of the room, Harry had still said nothing. Now both of you were stood away from the crowds.

“Prince, Harry, please, just say something, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I understand if you want to turn me in,” you some again, reaching for his hands. The boy was clearly processing a lot. It wasn’t every day you learn your assistant is a rebel leader, after all.

His next actions completely shocked you: his strong arms wrapped around you tightly, kissing the top of your head. “Love, you should have told me,” he cooed. “They told me things were good here, they lied to me,” he spoke again in a more serious voice.

“I want to help, you were right in there when you said that I am not my parents, I won’t allow these people to suffer for no reason any longer,” he spoke again. At this point you had wrapped your arms around him, your head resting on his shoulder.

“You could have told me,” he laughed slightly. You were speechless. “Thank you,” was all you could think to say. “No, I should be saying that to you, you woke me up, YN, made me aware- I know what I can do, now,” he said, pressing another kiss to your head.

“Shall we go home now, love?” He inquired, and you nodded quickly. “Lets go home,” you affirmed. And his arm never left its spot around your shoulders as the two of you walked back to the castle.

After that night, Harry accompanied you to every meeting, every single night, even enlisting his family’s driver, Harrison to bring you to the edge of the village and back. You knew Harrison was a friend to all of the princes, and he didn’t pry for answers as to why the two of you often went on these late night escapades.

Every night, Harry would squeeze your hand and help you become stable on top of your makeshift stage before letting go and standing back to watch you do your thing. Every night, the crowds grew more and more passionate with you, Harry knew that you were a powerful speaker, and a smart planner. He also knew that you were more powerful than to ueven knew, he’d heard his advisors warn him to crush any supportive talk of radicals but his only thought was to support you in any way he could, especially because helping you meant helping his kingdom.

He hadn’t meant to let it spill out, but one day it did. He was in a royal meeting with his parents and advisors, you sat at his side, as he requested as you were his “assistant”. In all honesty he just wanted you around because he knew you made him a better person.

The meeting had been going on for far too long, discussing ways to flush out the “radical leader” that was stirring up resistance in the village. “I think we need to start interrogations,” his father said, sounding all too confident. “Interrogations to find out what? That people will say anything when they’re in pain?” Harry snapped. Usually he said nothing during these occasions and he knew his words had come out harsher than he thought when you gripped his hand under the table subtly. He took a deep breath. “Well, how else are we going to go about this, Harry, since you seem to think you have all the answers now?” His father inquired with a raised eyebrow. Harry sighed. “Well, why don’t we just talk to them, the villagers, we could find out what they need and want from us and why they’re angry and we could come to a mutually beneficial compromise-”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, son, but the common people aren’t interested in our compromises, they want power and don’t think for a minuet they’re after anything else,” his father lectured as though you weren’t even in the room. Harry’s blood felt close to boiling.

“How would you know? Have you gone to the village, dad? Met any of the people you pretend to care about? Things are bad, there, it’s our responsibility to help them, if we won’t, then we don’t deserve to have any power at all, do we?” At this he quickly pushed back his chair and pulled you it of the room behind him, ignoring the calls from the room for him to return to his seat immediately.

“YN, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t just waste my life watching you create a whole new world, tell me what to do,”

And that was how Harry became a new speaker on your stage. At first people were wary of the royal visitor, but with your endorsement, and his clear passion to help them, they came around.

Soon, Harry became the inside man for your cause, he helped to schedule rallies and essentially, was your assistant outside of the palace. He was at your beck and call, and the two of you knew that it wasn’t completely out of him feeling responsible to help, he would do anything for you. The two of you became well known throughout the village as the two who would bring change to the kingdom. And you did. The two of you led marches and rallies, held meetings and proposed solutions.

All of this noise and action became too much for those in the castle, and when guards began showing up to raid your village, Harry would be right there on the front line with you, demanding that they return peacefully to the castle. His parents, of course, were anything were pleased, but Harry agreed to attend their royal events if they allowed him to continue to participate in village affairs. With Tom off to become the king of another country, he was next in line for the throne, and his parents weren’t willing to risk any issues with succession.

When Harry became king, things truly began to change quickly. The village began to prosper again exponentially, and the two of you were married and continued to be the activists everyone knew you to be. Harry had never felt so complete in his life, doing something good with his life with you at his side.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tess

A nice pre-Christmas argument

Tess joined the chat 2 hours ago Ali: Mamacita! How's tricks? Did you manage to get the gum out of Rocky's hair in the end or is he rocking a no.1 rn? Tess: It's hat season he'll be fine. It's your da you need to worry about if he doesn't get those bloody Christmas decs out Ali: At least you'll be saved the toxic fumes of the nit shampoo, like. I'll make him some earmuffs, ears like that, he'll get frostbite. Ali: Aww, leave off, he's got a bad back, like 😜 Ali: Caleb can come help with the heavy shit, he's like an ox, I'll be creative director, obvs, I've got the eye, he's got the body Ali: 😉 Tess: I hope you've got plenty of wool 'cause the dog got to ours and its a bloody state. He'll have a bad head to go with it in a minute. Nah you're alright bab Tommy's offered and Drew might as well make himself useful now he's sniffing round again. Ali: Well, there goes your classic jumper presents! Have to brave dem crowds, fight a bitch for the last...idk, what do kids even want these days? Last I heard from Rock mutant turtles and power rangers were back in vogue but they're probably out again, its been a week or so 😏 Contrary fuckers, eh? I was NEVER that bad, was I? Bet you wish you could relieve those easy years raising me, the dream child 😇 Ali: Alright then, though I wouldn't recommend confining Tommo and Drew to a space as small as the loft, T is gunning for him Ali: aren't we all? but hey 🤷 see if those muscles are just for show ay Tess: He's still on about that slime bollocks. Supposedly this stuff blows bubbles and expands or whatever. All I'm bothered about is that it says it ain't sticky. Better sodding not be. Ha! If you weren't being a little demon you were trying to raise them. Easy ain't the word love! Tess: I'll put Drew at the bottom of the ladder. Maybe some of the boxes'll land on his head. Knock some sense into the lad. Ro too seeing as she's never far. Ali: That shit is such a rip-off though, I could make him some dead cheap, tell him he can have it whatever colour, whatever random shit he wants in it, and no one else will have the same at School Ali: Save your money for the feast 💃'cos I won't be absolutely stuffed from my first xmas dinner, like, nah Ali: and demons need love too, ma, just ask Ro Ali: will he be joining us for meal numero dos? cos i don't think i can stomach 2 helpings of him in one day tbh Tess: Tell him yourself. I tried to make some with him in the summer and the ungrateful little sod wouldn't even come sit up the table. His loss. They loved it at work. Tess: Don't. That girl'll do me in one of these days . I'm surviving on spite by now 'cause he'll be eating with us over my dead body. Caleb's lot are welcome to keep him. Ali: I'm tellin ya get the kid some prescription speed, it'll do him wonders 😂 Well, that's another idea fucked...tis the season! Ali: I know, it ain't even funny at this point. Ali: You know she's gonna wanna go see him, yeah? You'll never get her to sit through games and shit telly once she's picked at her veg Ali: Its like kid swap up in here Tess: If I can get some what's on her plate into her instead of just the dog I'll be laughing. Fuck's sake. Kids who'd celebrate 'em? Grandkids on the other hand. Mary'd have been proper buzzing for that. Ali: Oi, woman! I'm right here Ali: and the giver of majority grandkids, so, think on, love Tess: You're even stevens kiddo. Keep it that way 'til you're done with uni yeah? Call that the xmas gift that keeps giving. Ali: yeah but a twofer ain't the same, is it? 😜 don't make promises i can't keep, ma Ali: engineering students are so fit, how will i resist? Tess: Tell that to Bea. I'm sure she'd have plenty to say back. Ali Mckenna don't test me there's plenty of room in the car when we go for Tommo's new specs I can get you in too. Ali: Yeah, yeah, she can lord it over me with her efficient vagina, getting it done in one, I'll be many bucks fizzes deep by then, give a shizzle Ali: Gurl, my vision is 20/20, in my third eye too, ooOOoOoOOOo Ali: Maybe Beatrice will prove again why she's your favourite daughter by distracting Ro so much with this London visit she won't have time to pine over Drew at all, happy days Tess: That's the spirit. Save your dad's back. He still thinks he's a brawler. Tess: Shh I don't have favorites I'm not one of your teachers. Tess: I'm sure Drew'll stay one text away throughout. Never off her phone now is she. Ali: Ahh, old man could still take him, Drew's a pussy Ali: I'll get Marlene round again lmao Ali: Suuuuuuuuuuuure ya don't 😏 Ali: We can only assume texting is a medium in which he really shines, 'cos seeing them IRL, doesn't make sense, so... Tess: Now that girl is a fave, thinking 'bout it. Yeah I like her. Tess: He must know his selfie angles or some shit. Tess: You tell me I'll never see the appeal. Ali: oh, sweet mama, if only you'd voiced your preference sooner, maybe i'd of married her and had lots of gaybies instead Ali: alas 🤣 Ali: you sound 100, do you feel it? 😉 Ali: he's a vessel for her hopes and dreams, init, but he ain't, he just needs to man up and move the fuck on so she can too Tess: Like you've ever listened to your ma. Double it and you ain't close, bab. I'm in those vampiric numbers here. Tess: Yeah. Maybe try telling her that. Ali: You wish you were a vampire. Which, tbh, is telling of how old you is. Ain't nothing cool about being a basement dwelling weirdo who can't sample the wonder and joy of garlic bread. Ali: Why don't you? Oh wait, cos it ain't for either of us to say it so we'll just sit here like bitter old lemons Ali: You're a bad influence, lady Tess: If that's what you think about vampire lore then I ain't gonna even waste my breath young'un. Tess: I have, cheers. I ain't sitting on my arse doing fuck all for you lot even if that's what you reckon. Tess: Exactly. Learn a lesson. Ali: Mhmm, go tell it to the lost boys 'cos I don't give a damn, I'm getting doughballs baby Ali: Pshhh, well fat lot of good its done, why you setting me up to fail then?! Ali: I know when to bow out gracefully Tess: I don't need to 'cause we'll all be snacking. If you'd watched that movie when I offered you'd know garlic don't work in that verse. Tess: There's nothing graceful about tapping out with a fight left to finish. I thought you'd been set up to go 'til the final bell but do what you've gotta do. Or don't. Tess: There's plenty of other shit stuck to the fridge singing your praises like Ali: No thank you, there's watching some lame for jokes, then there's forcing yourself to endure kiefer sutherland and co Ali: That's sadism. Ali: Well, there's nothing graceful about kicking a girl when she's down Ali: going blow for blow ain't always the right approach, is it? not with someone like Ro so don't start alright Tess: Lame? And you wonder why you ain't my fave. Tess: Helping your sister up is always the right approach if you don't want her to stay down. Tess: I'm not starting anything. I've said my piece. End of. Ali: C'mon, I know even Joe couldn't pretend to like it, like Ali: That's my point, she ain't fell yet, she's on a Drew-related high so pardon me from not trying take the rug from up under her Ali: not that I could if I tried, like I said, what good has you 'saying your piece' done? Ali: sometimes all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces after, that's just facts Tess: You all take after your da is why. No taste none of ya. Tess: It's done me a lot of good being able to get it on the record each time, cheers. Tess: sometimes that's a cop out 'cause you want a easy life Tess: Fact is there's plenty that could have been done before he did his reappearing act. Ali: Oh, yeah? Like what? Changing her entire worldview in time for tea? Ali: If it was that easy, you would've managed it by now Ali: Don't be so hard on yourself, your not doing her, or any of us, a favour with this shit Tess: He's a dealer it is that easy. It ain't my job to manage it though. You all wanna be treated like adults and have me wipe your arses for you at the same time I think not. Do yourself and her, a favor and use that big brain of yours. Ali: You think she doesn't know? Now who's being thick Ali: She doesn't care, so unless you're planning to cop shop him that means sweet fuck all doesn't it Tess: It ain't about what she knows. Last I checked he's not the only dealer in Dublin. There's still some honor among scumbags and more than one way to get caught out. Ali: Aww, such a softie at heart, ain't ya? Tess: Takes one to know one. Ali: That is one small step above 'I know you are but what am I?' Ali: No one wants Drew to get kneecapped or Ro to be collateral but he wants to be treated like an adult, so we can't wipe his arse, can we? Tess: Speak for yourself I'd spend my reddies to see that. However bad he thinks he is there's always someone worse and the sooner he learns it the better for all of us having to watch him play silly beggars Tess: Ro's worth a million of him maybe when she's grown up she'll know it. Ali: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're such a hard bitch. Maybe if he'd got proper help from people like you he woulda turned out better when he was grown too. Ali: It ain't too late for either of them. Tess: I'm what I've had to be. I can't save 'em all. Not even close. You'd be well to stay away from him if you've still got the sense you were born with. Ali: Yeah but you still try, don't you? Read back your previous wisdom for your answer there. Ali: Bit hard when we live in the same gaff isn't it but I can assure you I'm not going out of my way to be his bestie, mother Tess: I ain't about to flog a dead dog. He ain't a stupid kid anymore and what happened when he was a little 'un ain't an excuse either Tess: Nobody's got it easy. Tess: It's up to him to work out if his turning point's come and gone or if he even reckons he needs one. Ali: You don't have to but you can see the pretense Ro is working under, yeah? She doesn't think she's doing anything wrong and, arguably, she ain't. But sometimes all you get for your efforts is a kick in the teeth. Ali: Nobody's got it easy. Ali: It's up to HER to call time, not us. Tess: Who says? I've been there. Thinkin I had it all and knew even more about my future with my dream boy. Nobody came to clue me in but even now I wish they fucking had done. Ali: Like you'd have listened. Tess: If I had someone who gave a shit maybe Tess: She'd listen to you. Ali: Say you had, would you have done anything differently? Even if you knew how it'd go, if you didn't have Ronnie, you might still be with Josh now Ali: It changes everything about you Ali: I don't think she would. There's no reasoning because there is no reason, or rhyme for that matter Tess: Of course I would. I'd do everything differently. I'm not trying to romanticise who I was. Or am. Tess: Change ain't no bad thing when it comes to this. Or me Tess: Because you don't wanna think that she would and deal with all the shit that comes with her doing that. I don't blame ya but that don't make it right Tess: it's still a cop out. Ali: Well, I hope it soothes YOUR soul villainizing yourself because as someone who's half you, it's not something that is helpful, at all. Ali: Who's been there for her after every break-up? Who has to listen to every fucking detail? It ain't been you. And I can assure you I didn't spend those times when he was out of the picture singing his fucking praises. I HAVE told her. Everyone has. It just pisses you off that you can't fix this, or her. Tess: You're all you. Your own person. End of. Tess: And it should help you to know the truth. I was a bad person Ali and I ain't exactly sainted now. I do my best that's all any of us've got. Deal with it. Tess: I'm sorry you want a gold star or pat on the head for doing what you're supposed to for who you love. You're not getting it from me. Try your luck with your da maybe. Tess: And yeah it does piss me off so what? Ali: That isn't close to being true. There's no such thing as an individual, sorry to burst your bubble. Ali: And no one is one or the other. Christ, you're so fucking old testament. Ali: If your going in for all that shite, you should look at how revered a knocked-up teenage girl is whilst you're at it Ali: No one gives a shit about your war stories, they don't help anyone but you so you keep all that anger and hold it tight 'cos none of us are here for it any more Ali: Good luck trying to get Rocky to sit still so you can tell him all about damnation to scare him straight, good fucking luck Tess: You're not gonna change my mind. If you were anything close to being half of me we wouldn't be having this conversation. Tess: Life's black and white for me. That's what happens when you don't have choices. Call it what you like. Tess: And there's nothing to be preached to me about being a knocked up teen by you or anyone else. I ain't trying to either you just think it's that onesided 'cause you never listen Tess: There you go again speaking for everyone else when you mean yourself. But whatever. Tess: Get your own stories and leave mine out of it. Tess: Grow up, Ali. Ali: Now there's a copout if I ever heard one. Ali: Listen to what? What are you spouting but hot air? Ali: Oh, yeah? What one of your sainted children has benefitted? Ronnie hates you, Joe's a junkie, me and Fraze did exactly what you did. Ali: Tommy is passable but he's unhappy as fuck so, well done there. You've only got one left. Ali: What's the point? No one can ever match up to your infinite wisdom, I'd rather stay young so I knew what the hell I was talking about instead of making myself look like an old fool