#I was in the hospital last month and finished PT this month I deserve this 🤢 I deserve this

[bunabi]

And if I found a really good deal on a high-end PC and gave myself an early Christmas present what then

[winchesterwild78]

Carry on My Wayward Son pt 3

Master List

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Warnings: pregnancy, birth, fluff

A/N: Just something I’ve been thinking about. This takes place at the end of Season 15. Dean doesn’t die, cause dammit he deserved better than that. Uses Supernatural characters but doesn’t follow the storyline. All work is my own. Don’t take it. 

Dean survived and is coming home after the rebar accident. Think of this as our Season 16. 😀

Minors DNI 18+

*Time Jump 6 ½ months*

You groaned as you tried to get out of the bed. Your large, full belly was making it difficult to do normal things, like getting out of bed. As you stood you cradled your belly and made your way over to the mirror. Turning to the side you looked at your belly, full of your’s and Dean’s babies. You couldn’t believe you were pregnant and with twins. Dean walked into the room and saw you standing in front of the mirror. Your face was fuller because of the pregnancy, and you hated it. Dean smiled as he stood there watching you. 

You looked up and saw him and smiled softly. He crossed the room and pulled you into his arms. Placing a soft kiss on your lips he whispered, “You’re so beautiful.�� You softly chuckled, “You’re blind, but thank you.” “Sweetheart, don’t do that. You’re absolutely beautiful. I didn’t think it was possible for you to be more beautiful than you already were, but wow. Pregnancy looks good on you.”

Dean slipped his arms around your waist and held onto your belly. He felt the babies kick and he kissed your cheek. The light from overhead caught the ring on his left hand and it made you smile. You were grateful for this life with Dean. When Dean got out of the hospital, the two of you got married, moved into a house near Sam and Eileen, and your babies grew in your belly. Dean worked at the local fire department, he had always wanted to be a firefighter, and you worked in a bakery. 

Sam went back to Stanford, married Eileen and they had a son. Sam and Dean were still close, and Sunday family dinners were becoming a tradition. Eileen was amazing at helping you prepare for the birth of the twins. Jack had come back occasionally to check in, he would update you on the twins and how they were growing. Dean was thankful for Jack, because he was worried about you and the pregnancy. 

A few days later you woke up to an uncomfortable feeling in your lower back and into the right side. You winced in pain, but ignored it. Getting out of bed you went about your day. Today was your last day at work before going out on maternity leave and you were determined to go in. 

You had a wedding cake to finish and you didn’t want to disappoint the bride or your boss. 

Dean was working his shift, and wouldn’t be home until mid-day. Sometimes you hated his overnight shifts, but you were thankful he was doing something he loved. You sent him a text telling him good morning.

You: Good morning baby. I have a wedding cake to finish today, then I’ll be home. I love you! We love you! 

You sent a picture of you in the mirror, and a side profile of your belly.

Dean: Good morning, beautiful. Don’t push yourself too hard today. I’ll be home in a few hours. I love you three too!

You set your phone down and finished getting ready for work. The pain in your back and side was coming and going, and it was starting to concern you. Grabbing some breakfast, your bag and your water, you walked to your car and drove towards the bakery. 

“Good morning, Lexi.” You called as you walked in the bakery. Lexi, the owner of the bakery came around the counter, “Good morning, Y/N. How are you three today?” She smiled. You touched your belly, “I think they are running out of room, but we’re okay. A little uncomfortable, but I’m here to finish the Fletcher cake.” 

“Well don’t push yourself too hard, you need rest.” Lexi said as she brought a stool for you to sit on. You chuckled, “You sound like Dean.” She laughed and motioned for you to sit. 

As the morning wore on you were becoming more uncomfortable. Dean was off work and sent you a text.

Dean: Hey sweetheart, I’m leaving work now. Do you need anything before I head home?

You: No, well maybe something to eat if you want to stop by. I’m starving.

Dean: Me too, I’ll be there shortly. Love you.

You: I love you too.

You were finishing up making the sugar flowers for the cake when Dean got to the bakery. You heard Lexi talking to him out front. “Hey Lexi, how’s our girl doing?” Dean asked as he pulled her into a hug. “She’s okay, she seems to be really uncomfortable today, but you know how she is.” Dean chuckled, “Yeah I do.” 

You walked out from the back and saw Dean with a bag of food. You smiled at him, trying to hide the wince that followed from the pain. “Sweetheart, you okay?” You nodded, “Yeah, just hurting today.” Dean was by your side, “What’s hurting, and where?” Dean’s eyes filled with worry. 

You softly placed your hand on his chest, “Dean, it’s okay. I’m sure everything is just fine. My water hasn’t broken, and we still have a few weeks left.” “Y/N, I think we should go get you checked out, just to be safe.” “Dean, I have to finish this cake. I have a bride counting on me.” 

Lexi walked over and placed her hand on your shoulder, “Y/N, I think Dean is right. I think you should go get checked out. I will finish the cake. It’s almost finished, I promise it will be beautiful. Please go get checked.”

You sighed heavily, “Fine, I’ll go if it will make the two of you feel better.” Dean and Lexi both said it would, so you grabbed your stuff and walked with Dean to the car.

“I still think you’re being ridiculous, Dean.” “Well, we will see. Thank you for at least humoring me.” Dean took your hand as he drove towards the hospital. The pain was getting worse and as he got closer to the hospital you were starting to think it was a good idea to get checked out. 

Dean got you checked in and the nurse took you back right away. Dr. Martinez was on call and arrived at the hospital. “Well Mrs. Winchester, I see you’ve been having some pain today. Has your water broken?” “No, it hasn’t. The pain is starting to get worse. It’s a tightness that goes around my lower back and to my right side.” 

“Well, let’s get you hooked up and see what’s going on with you and these babies.” You nodded and as the doctor left the room, Dean helped you get undressed and into the hospital gown. The nurse came back and hooked you up to the machine. 

A few minutes later Dr. Martinez came in and looked at the machine. “Well, Mrs. Winchester, it looks like you’re in labor. Let’s get you checked and see if you’re dilated.” You looked over at Dean expecting an “I told you so” look on his face, but you saw love and concern etched on his face. 

He knew you were scared. Dean was at your side, grabbed your hand and kissed your forehead, “It’s okay baby. They are going to be fine. Our babies are going to be here soon.” Tears pricked your eyes, you were overwhelmed and scared, but Dean’s words washed over you and enveloped you like a warm hug.

He sent Sam a text, letting him know what was going on. Sam said they were on their way. By the time Sam and Eileen got to the hospital you were close to being able to deliver. Sam and Eileen walked in your room and hugged you and Dean. Sam placed a soft kiss on the top of your head, “You’ve got this, Y/N.” You smiled and whispered thank you. 

Eileen walked over to you and signed to you, “You’re going to do great. We are here if you need us. I can’t wait to meet the twins.” You smiled and signed back, “Thank you, me either.” She hugged you and she and Sam went to the waiting room.

Dr. Martinez and the nurses came back in, he told you it was time to start pushing. You grabbed Dean’s hand and a tear slipped out, “You’re going to be okay baby, our babies are going to be okay. Remember they have Jack looking out for them.” You smiled and nodded. 

The nurse and Dean helped you scoot down and get into position. Dr. Martinez told you to start pushing on the next contraction. When the contraction hit you started pushing. Ten minutes later, the doctor told you he could see the head. The next contraction you pushed as hard as you could, and delivered your first baby. 

Tiny cries filled the room as the doctor pulled the baby out and laid them on your chest. “Congratulations mom and dad, it’s a girl.” Dean looked down at his daughter and tears fell, he kissed you, “She’s beautiful, baby. Look at our daughter.” Tears rolled down your cheeks. Your daughter had a head full of hair and big green eyes like her father. Dean cut the umbilical cord and the nurse took her away to clean her, and check her out.

Dr. Martinez checked the position of the other baby and told you to relax for a bit before you had to start pushing again. You laid back and Dean rubbed your head. “You’re doing great sweetheart, she’s absolutely beautiful, baby. I can’t wait to meet our other baby.” You were exhausted, but you knew you had to push through.

The contractions started again and it was time to push. You got back into position and Dr Martinez told you to push on the next contraction. You started pushing and exhaustion was starting to take over. “Dean, I can’t do this anymore. Please, I need to stop.” You begged through tears. Dean rubbed your head, “I know you’re tired baby, but you’ve got this. You’re the strongest woman I know. We’ve faced so much, and you’re a badass. You’re a Winchester, and Winchesters don’t quit. Come on baby, let’s meet our other baby.” 

You took a deep breath and nodded. Dean kissed your lips and you felt a renewed strength wash over you. When it came time to push again, you pushed as hard as you could. A few minutes later you were ready to deliver the baby. “Okay, one more big push and the second baby will be here. Come on Mrs. Winchester, push, 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10, and rest.” You blew out the air in your lungs and rested between the contractions. “I see the head, you’ve got another one with a head full of hair.” You smiled at Dean. “Okay, and push….” You felt the baby come out and soft cries filled the room. You sobbed.

“Okay, mom and dad, baby number 2 is a boy. Congratulations!” The doctor placed your son on your chest as Dean cut the cord. You looked down at your little boy and your heart swelled. Dean moved your hair back and kissed your forehead, “We have a girl and a boy, thank you baby.” 

The nurse took your son away and told you both babies would be brought to you in your room shortly. The doctor cleaned you up and you were transferred to your recovery room. You fell asleep as Dean went to the waiting room to tell Sam and Eileen about the babies. 

Dean returned to your room and saw you sleeping peacefully as the exhaustion took over your body. He took the time to pray to Jack, “Jack, thank you for this beautiful life, my wife and my children. I know I don’t deserve this, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove that this wasn’t wasted on me.” 

Dean heard the flutter of wings and looked up, seeing Jack. “Hi Dean.” Dean stood and pulled Jack into a tight hug. “Hey Jack.” “Dean, you deserve this. You both do. You and Y/N have sacrificed so much, it was time for you both to get some peace. Take care of each other and those children.” “We will, Jack.”

The sound of wings filled the room and Jack was gone. A few hours later the nurses brought the twins into the room. You were awake and ready to see them. Dean’s smile stretched to his eyes and he was beaming with pride. He picked up your daughter and held her in his arms, cooing at her and talking to her as he walked her over to you. He gently placed her in your arms. Dean did the same thing with your son. 

You sat in the bed holding both of your children, smiling and crying. You couldn’t believe you and Dean had created not only one life, but two. He took pictures, and told Sam they could come see the babies. 

A few minutes later, Sam and Eileen came into the room. Sam beamed with pride when he saw his brother holding his daughter, and you holding your son. Sam and Eileen held them both as pictures were taken. As small talk filled the room Sam asked what were their names. 

Dean smiled, “well this little princess is Samantha Millie and that little man is Henry John.” “Perfect names, you two.” Sam smiled as he took his niece in his arms.

Dean smiled and looked at his children and at you, “Yeah, and to think I could have missed all of this because of a rusty piece of rebar.” 

The End.

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[fallingforfictionalcharacterss]

Traitor pt.5

A/N: This is the last part of the series. I originally planned on posting it yesterday, but I´ve been at my first concert in four years (Is anyone else obsessed with Yungblud on here? His music is just soo good.) and I wasn´t home all day. Anyway, I finished it now, so I hope you guys like it 💚

pt.4

The next days felt like a dream to you. Only the next morning you found out what had happened in the department of Mystery. When you had rushed to the Hospital Wing, you saw with great relief that none of your friends would carry away any lasting damages.

You spent most of your time on your own or with Harry, commuting between the Gryffindor common room and the Hospital wing. You enjoyed the time you could spend with your friends. It helped you distract yourself when you were sitting on Hermione´s bed, eating chocolate frogs and making fun of Fudge, who suddenly seemed to be Harry´s biggest admirer.

When you were in the common room with Harry, however, you mostly just stared into the fireplace. From time to time, you got interrupted by people approaching you and apologizing ruefully. To Harry for not believing him or for his loss and to you for ever doubting your loyalty to your house. But you, as well as Harry, tried to cut the other students off before they could start asking questions you didn’t want to answer. Then you went back to staring into the void silently.

You knew that the loss you suffered from was nothing in comparison to what Harry was going through right now. Still, both of you benefited from the fact that neither of you was alone with your pain. It comforted you to just spend some of your time with each other, especially since you were the only ones who didn’t bombard you with questions.

A few days later, you made your way back from the Hospital Wing to your common room. Harry´s and your ways had separated since he wanted to pay Hagrid a visit. But for some reason, you weren´t in the mood for Hagrid´s encouraging words.

As you turned around a corner, however, you wished you would have been. Only a few steps away, Draco stood in the corridor, frozen in place, just like you. The world around you became a blur; all you could see was him.

He didn’t look as good as he did back the day you had talked to him last. But even with bags under his eyes and the ashen undertone of his pale skin, to you, he was still the most beautiful person in the world. You couldn’t blame him for looking so tired, almost sick. Not only you had betrayed him, but his father had been arrested after he had led the attack on Harry and the others in the Department of Mystery. When you had heard about it, you had felt your heart clenching inside your chest. You had already realized back in Umbridge´s office that the fact that you had lied to him had hurt him even more than you had ever expected it to. And now he had also not only lost his privileges due to the dissolution of the Inquisitorial Squad but also his father.

“Draco.” It was just a whisper. You weren’t even sure if he had heard it.

It felt like time slowed down, as the two of you kept staring at each other.

You wished he would do something. Anything. If he would scream at you, threaten you, hex you, you would be fine with it. But the way he looked at you with a blank expression, broke your heart once more.

Then, finally, Draco dismantled from his rigidity. He straightened his back and cleared his throat.

“(Y/l/n).”, he said tonelessly, before he went on his way, passing you and turning around the next corner.

And just like that, Draco Malfoy had not only broken your heart but shattered it into a million pieces.

And you deserved it.

It was the last day before the Holidays. Tomorrow, you would return home. And for the first time, you actually looked forward to it. It wasn’t like you hadn´t missed your family in the last years, but Hogwarts felt by now more like your home than any other place. But after everything that had happened in the last few months, you felt like some distance from this place was just what you needed right now.

Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Neville and Ron had been discharged only a few days ago. Everything felt a bit more normal, now that Hermione´s empty bed wasn’t the first and last thing you saw every day. Plus, it felt good to not roam around the castle on your own anymore how you had done in the last days, except for when you had been with Harry who had usually preferred to spend most of the time on his own. Especially when you encountered the former members of the Inquisitorial Squad, who now treated you like you were a public enemy. And somehow, you were. You genuinely regretted this state of affairs, since you had actually grown into liking them over the last weeks.

The only one who had talked to you at all had been Pansy. When you had walked past her and neither your nor her friends had been in sight, she had stepped in your way, arms crossed in front of your chest. “I hope you're happy now.”, she had hissed, with a murderous shimmer in her eyes. But it had disappeared again rather quickly as those damn tears had made their way into your eyes again and you had somehow managed to choke out a small “No.”. Pansy had eyed you, her expression illegible. “Fix it then.”, she had told you and strutted away, leaving you speechless.

There was nothing you wanted more than to fix this, but you had no idea how. By now, you had given up the idea of trying to talk to Draco, let alone any of the others. One night, when you hadn’t been able to sleep once more, you had sat in your bed, writing a letter, but no matter how hard you tried, the words sounded hollow and meaningless. So you had given up on trying to approach Draco, contended yourself with staring at him awkwardly from the other side of the room, while he seemed to be completely unaware of your existence again, his gaze sliding over you, showing no signs of acknowledging that you had ever been more than just two people who happened to share a class with one another. And tomorrow you would get on a train, and you wouldn’t see the boy who meant so much to you for two whole months.

But maybe it was for the best like that. One way or another. Because a part of you hoped that over the holidays Draco might be able to somewhat forgive you for what you had done. The more rational part of you on the other hand tried to tell you that you should use the time to let the boy finally go. Because you obviously knew that whatever the two of you had had, back when Draco thought you were on his side, would never come back to you. And even while it lasted you had somehow known that sooner or later you would lose him. Because if it wouldn’t have been for the fact that you had smuggled yourself into the Inquisitorial Squad to get some information, it would be the fact that the two of you wouldn’t stand a chance regarding what was about to come. Now that you-know-who was back. You knew Draco wasn’t a bad person. He didn’t take as much pleasure in actually hurting people as the others thought he did, but that didn’t change the fact that he had grown up in the belief that the world the dark wizard wanted to create was the only right one. And the fact that Draco´s father had been arrested while fulfilling an order from said wizard, told you, that his family still held on to those beliefs. But on the other hand, how could you ever judge him for that or deny him the chance to change? Hadn´t Draco been the one to welcome you with open arms when you had pretended to change your mind? You knew that if Draco would ever do the same if he would ever actually wanted to change, you would be there for him. Even though you highly doubted that he ever would. Especially now that you, his only connection to the side fighting the dark, had betrayed him as you had done. If anything, you had taken the chance from Draco to decide on his own. You had taken his chance to change his mind. In the end, you were the evil one. And no one else.

You let yourself fall onto your bed and stared against the ceiling. You shouldn’t have gotten that involved in the entire situation from the very beginning. If you would have just done your job, if you wouldn’t have attached the strings as you had done, you wouldn’t have hurt Draco as you had. And now it was too late and you would have to live with the consequences of your decisions.

Lost in your thoughts you almost missed the door of your dorm opening.

“(Y/n)?”

You looked up and saw Hermione stepping towards your bed. You raised your head, resting your upper body on your elbows.

“What is it?”

“There´s someone outside for you.” Her voice sounded strange and you could see that your friend looked rather irritated.

“Who is it?”

“You´ll see.”, she stated and frowned.

“Why don’t they come in?”

“They can´t.”

“No Gryffindor?”

“God, (Y/n), just go and look for yourself.”

You groaned and let your head fall back onto the mattress.

“I don’t want to.”

And that was the truth. Hermione had interrupted you in the middle of the spiral of your self-pity. You didn’t want to be disturbed. All you wanted to do was dive right back into it, wondering where in life you went wrong.

“But I think it´s rather important.”

“I really don’t care, Hermione. They can send me an owl if they want to.”

“I don’t think Malfoy will be satisfied with this.”

You sat up immediately and looked at your friend with widened eyes.

“Draco? Here?”

“Outside the common room, more precisely.”, Hermione said, grinning knowingly as she observed your reaction.

You were almost out of the door of your dorm when you froze.

“Why do you think he´s here?”, you asked your friend.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

“I didn’t ask him. He wasn’t really happy talking to me, and honestly, I wasn’t delighted either.”

“What if he tells me that he hates me? That it´s all my fault? That he never wants to see me again?”, you whined.

Hermione looked at you compassionately.

“There´s only one way to find out.”, she said in a soft voice. “And (Y/n)?”

You looked at your friend questioningly.

“In the end, you´ve done nothing wrong. And no matter what will happen, I am always here for you.”

You nodded and threw your friend a thankful smile before you left.

You had almost expected Draco to be gone when you finally had gathered the courage to climb through the exit. But the Slytherin boy was standing in the corridor, hands buried deep inside the pockets of his cloak and a strange look on his face.

When the painting of the fat lady swung aside, he looked up. Once more, the two of you just looked at each other, without saying a word.

Finally, you cleared your throat.

“You wanted to see me?” You hated yourself for how shaky your voice sounded.

Draco tore his gaze apart from you and nodded.

“I´ve got a question.”, he finally said.

You looked at him in surprise. Still, you nodded.

“Yes?”

Draco´s gaze was by now fixed on the stone floor.

“When you… When we… In Umbridge´s office… You told me I wasn’t part of the plan.”

“I did.”

The floor seemed to be very interesting since Draco´s head was still lowered.

“What did you mean by that?”

You hesitated. You knew what you had meant, but you didn’t know how to explain. Still, you had to try. Because this was probably the last chance to get things right before they were lost forever.

“I… I meant…” Why was it so damn hard to tell him what appeared so clear to you? “When I joined the Inquisitorial Squad, it was to find a way to stop Umbridge. I thought by joining you I would get closer to her.”

“And you reached your goal, didn’t you?”, Draco spit out.

“No… I mean yes, but… The plan was just to join the group, never to build up anything with any of you. But you… you were so nice and you welcomed me in a way, I would have never expected.”

“Pretty foolish of us, wasn’t it?” His voice sounded bitter.

“No, it wasn’t, Draco. That´s what I´m trying to say. Because I started to enjoy spending time with you. And I… Those friendships… they were just as real to me as they were to you. I spend my time with all of you because I wanted to. Because it felt good. And you…” You stopped and looked at Draco, who was still looking anywhere but at you. “What we had, that was… You caught me by surprise Draco. I never wanted to, but you did. And I… I loved it.” I loved you, I still do, you added silently, but the words never left your mouth.

Draco stayed silent. He seemed to think about your words for a minute.

Finally, he glanced up at you. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw all the emotions in his eyes.

“Was it real?”, he asked silently. “Us, I mean. Was any of that real?”

“All of it.”

Draco nodded. He seemed to think about something for a moment, then he made a decision.

“You want to go for a walk?”

You looked at him with narrowed eyes. That question had caught you off guard.

“What?”

“Do you?”

You hesitated. This change of subject was abrupt and unexpected. What was his intention behind all of this? You highly doubted that he had forgiven you just like that. Was it a trap? If you would follow him, would you walk into your nemesis with your eyes wide open?

Draco seemed to see the indecisiveness in your eyes because he stepped closer. The expression in his eyes was almost pleadingly.

“It´s just… I don´t want to lose you (Y/n). I can´t.”

And when you followed Draco outside, you didn´t doubt your decision once.

The sun already set when you had reached the lake. Neither of you had said a word on your way down to the shore. But the moment the two of you looked at the lake that seemed to be made of liquid gold at this time of the day, the words started tumbling from your lips, as well as Draco´s.

When you had finally told him everything about your plan to bring Umbridge down, about what you had and hadn’t known about the things that had happened in the last weeks and mostly how incredibly sorry you felt, not for what you had done, but how you had made him feel, and Draco had finally gathered the courage to tell you at least a split of his point of view on all those things, about how much you had hurt him, but also about the more recent events, about his father and his concerns about the future, the night had already fallen and only some stars were shining on the sky.

You had sat down under the tree where you had already tried to tell him all these things for the first time. Only that this time you had actually done. And he had listened.

“You wanted to tell me, didn´t you? The last time we´ve been here. You wanted to tell me what you had done.”

You nodded.

“Why? How could you know I would find out that day?”

“I didn’t.”

“Why did you want to tell me then?”

“Because I hated lying to you. And because I thought that maybe… If I tell you before you find out any other way… I thought you might be able to forgive me.”

Silence.

“I guess I´m the foolish one now, ain´t I?”, you chuckled.

“Maybe not as much as you think.”

And as you looked to the side, you saw Draco shuffling a bit closer to you, until his shoulder almost touched yours. You threw the boy a shy smile. And he returned it immediately.

For you, it was almost incomprehensible how Draco had been able to forgive you that fast. But somehow, he had done so. It wasn’t like it had been before all of this and you highly doubted that it would ever be, but then again, you asked yourself if you even wanted it to be. You felt somehow relieved to not carry the weight of all those secrets on your back anymore and be able to talk openly to Draco. And he seemed to think the same.

A breeze blew across the lake, making you shiver. Even if it was midsummer, the nights were still coolish. You couldn’t help the shiver running down your spine.

“Are you cold?”, Draco asked, giving you a concerned look.

Even though you were indeed, you didn´t want this evening to end yet. So you shrugged your shoulders.

“Just a little bit.”

But when you had expected Draco to suggest that you should get back to the castle now, you had been wrong. Because instead, you suddenly felt his arm sneaking around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

It only took you a second of tension, before you melted into his warmth. You snuggled up closer to his chest, resting your head almost right above his heart. The hand carefully rubbed your upper arms, trying to increase the blood flow again.

“Better?”, Draco finally asked as he glanced down at you.

“Perfect.”, you sighed.

You didn’t know how long you were staring at the lake. The stars were reflected in the crystal-clear water, making it look like the sky wasn’t only far above your head, but right to your feet.

You could hear the murmur of the waves and the swooshing of the trees, moving slightly in the wind. You felt Draco´s warmth embracing you and the steady rising and falling of his chest. His scent, mixed with the smell of the water and the grass around you, lulled you in. All of those sensations made you feel dozy and you had no doubt you could easily drift off into sleep like that. Still, you wanted to cherish this peaceful moment for as long as possible, taking in every single detail of it. But the more time passed, the more you had to fight for your eyes to stay open.

“(Y/n)?”, Draco´s voice retrieved you from your dreamy state. The way you could feel his chest vibrating under your head, send chills down your spine.

“Hmm?”

“I meant what I said earlier. You know that?”

You squinted up at the boy.

“What exactly are you talking about?”

“I told you I don´t want to lose you again. And that’s true. I don’t want to lose you ever again. I want to stay with you – as long as you want me to as well.”

A small smile crept on your lips. You sat up, so you were able to properly look at the blond boy. His silvery eyes reflected the light of the stars shining above and under you. The look on his face was serious as if he hadn’t just said the thing that made you happier than anything anyone else had ever told you.

“What makes you think I´d ever want you to leave?”, you said, the grin on your face also visible in your voice.

“Because one day you might realize that keeping me is the most stupid idea you ever had.”, he said, only half-joking.

You sighed. If Draco would only see half of the things you saw in him, he wouldn´t say such things.

“I could say the same thing to you.”, you said, just like Draco making it sound like a joke, even if to you it wasn’t.

“No, for real, Draco. After everything that happened, after everything I´ve done to you – I wouldn’t have blamed you for never wanting to talk to me again.”

“Yet here we are.”

“Here we are.”, you confirmed.

“It´s just like I told you before.”, Draco said, as he brushed a strand of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. It felt like your skin was burning in the places he touched you. “There´s nothing in this world that could ever change what I´m feeling for you.”

It was like his eyes hypnotized you. You just couldn’t look away.

“And what are you feeling?”, you asked in a breathy voice.

Draco didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his gaze wandered over your face, taking in every centimetre, until it finally settled on your lips. You could feel your heartbeat quicken. Draco´s face was only a few centimetres away from yours. And he moved even closer until the tip of his nose almost touched yours. His hot breath was burning on your face. Then his gaze tore apart from your lips and travelled back up to your eyes.

“Love.”, he simply responded, before he finally closed the gap between the two of you.

The feeling of Draco´s lips on yours was everything you had ever dreamt about and even more. They felt so much softer than you had imagined, as they tenderly moved against yours. For a moment you remained frozen in your spot before you thawed.

And once you had started, it seemed to be the easiest thing in the world. The way your lips moved in perfect sync made it feel like it had never been any other way and as Draco cupped your cheeks to pull you even closer, you gave in immediately. And even though the kiss was sweet and innocent, it was still filled with all the emotions that the two of you had bottled up over the last few weeks.

When you eventually pulled away, you looked at the boy in front of you, completely mesmerized. And Draco seemed to feel the same, because he returned your gaze, with just as much awe.

“I love you (Y/n).”, he whispered against your lips, while his eyes never left yours, not for the split of a second.

“I love you too.”, you responded quietly. And slowly, the realization of what had just happened washed over you, and the grin on your face grew uncontrollably. “I love you too.”, you repeated once more, by now smiling from one ear to the other.

Draco mirrored your smile. The grip he had on you tightened, as he pulled you close again, pressing another kiss on your lips.

As he pulled back, his thumbs caressed your cheeks, travelling over your lips, as he leaned his forehead against yours.

The two of you remained in this position for a while, just admiring each other, from time to time whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears.

It was already far after bedtime as you slowly made your way back to the castle. Once more, you held onto Draco´s hand tightly. Only that this time, you had no doubt that this touch wasn’t the end of something, but the beginning.

Somehow Draco had managed to prevent the front door from getting locked by Filch. The two of you slipped through it and got back to the Gryffindor common room, undetected.

As you stood in front of the portrait, Draco looked down at you with the happiest, yet saddest face.

“I can´t believe that tomorrow we have to leave, and I won´t get to see you for two whole months.”

You frowned.

“Maybe you don’t have to. You can visit me. Or I can visit you. Or we meet up somewhere else. As long as I can see you, I´m fine with any place.”

Draco gave you a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“(Y/n), you know what´s going on right now. All this family stuff and… I don’t want you to get involved in it.”

You shook your head firmly.

“But I already am.”

“That´s something different. Maybe all of this was a bad idea. If not losing you means that I have to let you go, then…”

“It isn’t. And it doesn’t.” You cupped Draco´s face with your hands and forced him to look at you. “I love you Draco. All of you. And no matter what is going to happen, I won´t let you go through this alone. You once said to me that you will always choose my side. That you will do so because you want to. Because it makes you happy. And you actually chose me. Even when I made it so damn hard for you. And I want to do the same for you now. I will do. And nothing you could ever say or do to talk me out of this. I´ve let you down once, that won´t happen a second time.”

“You can´t compare Umbridge with the Dark Lord. You can´t compare the Inquisitorial Squad with Death Eaters.” Draco sounded desperate, his eyes looked at you pleadingly.

“I know, Draco. And I don’t do so. But what I also know is that I fight for the things I love. For the people I love. And you happen to be one of them. So how could I ever let you go without even trying?”

“You don’t know what you get yourself into.”, Draco mumbled.

“Maybe I don’t. But I know it´s worth it. You are worth it.”

The blond boy sighed.

“I can´t talk you out of this now, can I?”

You smiled at him superiorly.

“Not now and not ever.”

There was a small spark of hope shimmering in the boy´s eyes, which were clouded with worry, as he looked at you.

“Are you sure about this?”

You nodded eagerly.

“I´ve never been so sure about anything. I´ve made loads of decisions this year I didn’t know whether they were right or wrong. But I know this isn’t one of them.”

And when you pulled Draco into a tight embrace and he buried his face in the crook of your neck, he intuitively knew that you were right.

For sure, what the two of you had was far from perfect and both of you knew that the worst was probably yet to come. But in the end, you had each other and for now, this was everything you needed. And you, as well as Draco, highly doubted that this would ever change.

Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @army24—7 @lbhmoon @cappgyuccino @writingwitch007 @myomy0ss @tinafuentes

[couldntbedamned]

Feels So Right, Can’t Be Wrong - Blue Salvia

Summary:

The setting: Sanctum General Hospital in Sanctum Heights, New Amsterdam

Starring: Sharon Carter - former Central Security Bureau operative, Selecting Spouse in a horrifically failed Bureau of Civic Spousal Selections marriage, patient AND Anthony Edward "Tony" Stark - owner and CEO of Stark Industries, Futurist determined to rebuild a world his father built weapons to destroy, love interest

With Appearances by: Nurse Wong, Orderly Rintrah, and Billy the Admin

And Featuring Doctor Stephen Strange as "the Surgeon"

Or, "Five Dates Tony and Sharon Had in Her Hospital Room and One They Had After She Was Discharged"

AO3 Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Marriage of Convenience, Past Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Getting to Know Each Other, Dating, Past Domestic Violence, 5 Times, Annoyed Stephen Strange, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Sharon Carter Deserves the World

Author’s Note: So this kind of just popped up as I was kicking around thoughts of just how Tony and Sharon met and eventually fell in love as mentioned in my fic Goodbye Grey Sky, Hello Blue, so this takes place well before the events of and can be read independently of that story.

------

Blue Salvia

------

Sharon had never been so happy to finish physical therapy in her life.

"You're a sadist," she told Rintrah as he handed her a towel so she could wipe away the sweat.

The large man didn't deny it. "You're making progress."

"Doesn't feel like it," she lamented. Her mile used to be six minutes and twenty-two seconds. Now she doubted she'd be able to run a mile for a few months, if walking a moderate incline on the treadmill was this hard.

"You don't see it because you judge yourself more harshly than anyone else," Rintrah said. "But I've seen the progress you've made since you were cleared for PT. Just be patient."

She supposed he was right. And it wasn't like she had an SO breathing down her neck like she had when in the CSB. Lord, Fury had been a nightmare but Hand? Hand had been so much worse.

"We'll finish up with some foam rolling and stretching and then I'll get you back up to your room, okay?"

Sharon groaned but knew there was nothing she could do but go along with the Orderly's plans.

The last thing she wanted was for Rintrah or Wong to decide she wasn't up for another date night in her room with Tony.

God, she was going to have another date with Tony Stark! What was her life?

"Pizza tonight? My treat."

Tony looked over at Stephen. "Can't. I have plans for dinner, I'm afraid."

Stephen raised a brow. "Oh?"

"Yes, indeed." He checked his watch, an elegant Kang model. "In fact, I have to go if I don't want to be late." He studied the kitchen. "We'll start installing the appliances tomorrow."

"I really do appreciate this, Tony."

Tony waved Stephen off. "Hey, even if you weren't paying me I'd be happy to help. Not as happy, of course. Maybe like, twelve percent less happy. Anyways, I have to go get ready."

"What's her name?" Stephen asked with a knowing smirk.

Tony made a gesture of zipping his lips. "A gentleman doesn't tell."

Stephen scoffed. "Since when are you a gentleman?"

"Bye now!"

As he hastened to his rented Alfa Romeo - which looked decidedly out place among the various Buicks and Lincolns - he checked his mobile to ensure his "out of office" status had gone through. The last thing he wanted was for work to interrupt his date.

He'd been looking forward to it since before he even left the hospital the previous night.

Sharon was... she was special. He liked her humor and appreciated her biting wit. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind and if there was something she didn't want to discuss, she kindly but firmly let him know. That was refreshing to a man like him.

He'd started strong the previous night with Italian. He hoped Mediterranean would be just as successful.

Sharon rolled her eyes but let Tony blindfold her so he could "get the mood right."

When he took the blindfold off, the make-shift dinner table was back and he'd set up another vase, this time with a single Blue Salvia.

"Any guesses as to the cuisine we're having tonight?" Tony asked.

"French?" she tried. "I'll just go ahead and tell you I'm not eating snails."

Tony laughed. "It's not French, no, and I'll definitely keep that in mind."

He lifted up the dome on her plate to reveal the dish: triangles of spanakopita. She could smell the feta, garlic, and spinach and her mouth began to water.

"Mediterranean. I am again, impressed. I didn't think there was a place in town."

"There's not," Tony confirmed. "But, I wanted the best and it was worth having dinner catered from Baxterville."

"So," Tony said as they ate their appetizers, along with lamb and rice wrapped in grape leaves and a small assortment of olives. "Ask away."

Sharon took a minute to savor the explosion of garlicky spinach, creamy feta, and flaky buttery phyllo dough before swallowing. "Another bold move," she teased.

"Like I've said, fortune favors the bold."

"If you weren't head of Stark Industries, what would you do with your life?"

His brows raised. "That's a good question," he said. He ate a few triangles of the spanakopita as he thought about his answer. "I'd probably still want to be an engineer. I love building and fixing things. The money that comes with SI is just a bonus."

"You have some impressive creations," Sharon said. "The energy saving appliances are getting rave reviews, as do the medical devices you've started designing and testing."

"I just felt like I had to do something," Tony admitted. "Howard - Dad - spent his whole damn life building bigger, more lethal weapons. The least I can do is try and create things to help fix that he's destroyed."

"That's a noble cause, even if it's not your responsibility."

"It might not be my responsibility, but I benefitted from his warmongering so I might as well work against that."

The next course was moussaka - "with lamb, because again, I prefer the best" - with a medley of roasted yellow squash, zucchini, and colorful bell peppers as a side.

"Someone's making sure I get my vegetables," Sharon said. "Good call."

"I may or may not have been threatened with bodily harm by Nurse Wong if I didn't provide adequate nutrition," Tony said. "I don't like my chances going up against that man."

"You wouldn't stand a chance," Sharon confirmed. The roasted vegetables were incredible. "Orderly Rintrah's almost as fierce. My old SO could have learned a thing or two from Wong and Rintrah."

"How did PT go today?"

"I was told it went well, but I'm impatient so I don't really see it." She couldn't help but let out a small moan as she tasted the moussaka. It was amazing and perfectly seasoned. "I'm not used to being so inactive. Even when I was married I still went for runs and worked out."

"Even with the bruising?" Tony asked quietly.

"I wore long-sleeves and jogging pants when I went outside," she admitted. "I had a small collection of weights in the spare bedroom where I started sleeping and I'd do body-weight exercises."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am that you went through that," Tony said. "I hate that there was nothing you could do to defend yourself."

"In a way the running was a defense," Sharon said. "As was sleeping in the spare bedroom. It locked, you see." She ate some more. "Steve didn't like that; he thought that locked doors made a home dishonest but there wasn't much he could do about it."

"Did he ever try to break in?"

"The door was reinforced," Sharon said in answer. "All of the doors were. I had them all installed when I bought that house, since old habits die hard."

"I'm sorry to bring it all up," Tony said. "Well, you brought it up, technically, but I didn't change the subject and that's on me." He motioned to the vegetables. "These are so good."

"They are," she agreed.

Conversation turned lighter as they finished their entrees and Sharon eyed the dome-covered desert dishes expectantly.

"How's our Surgeon's kitchen coming along?"

"Oh, the wiring is all done. We'll start installing appliances tomorrow."

"He still doesn't know about this, right?"

Tony winced. "I'm doing my best to keep this hush-hush. I'm pretty sure Wong and Rintrah roped in his admin to keep it under wraps."

Sharon laughed. "Look at you, planning a stealth operation."

"You're worth it," he said.

She blushed furiously at that, inwardly astonished. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so affected. Even when she'd had her initial meetings with Steve, who'd at first been so sweet and earnest, she'd been somewhat aloof.

Dessert was a small plate with a sampler trio of sokolatopita, loukoumades, and baklava. Normally a chocolate gal, Sharon found herself preferring the loukoumades - tiny fried balls of dough dripping with honey. It was all delicious but the loukoumades was in a class all its own.

"Any ideas on what radio show to listen to?" Tony asked as he cleaned up and pushed the cart and dishes outside. "Or would you prefer something else?"

Sharon thought. "Would you think I'm a dreadful bore if I suggested listening to The Lawrence Welk Radio Hour?"

"Definitely not," Tony said with a smile. "One of my friends, Rhodey, is a huge fan. I've listened to that show many a time."

"Then tune the radio to Station KPBS," Sharon urged. "We should be able to catch the opening song."

Like the night before they sat close to the radio and when Tony took her hand in his, it felt so natural her heart skipped a beat.

"Maybe one day we can dance to this music," Sharon mused when a dreamy ballad played, complemented by a harp and oboe. "I've always loved dancing."

"One day," Tony agreed, enjoying the music but enjoying his evening with her so much more.

This time before he left, he added the blue salvia to the vase on her nightstand with the yellow tulip and took the vase with him, but not before again pressing a kiss to her hand.

"I had a wonderful evening," he told her.

"I did too," Sharon said as he helped her to bed. "Tony, this was so nice."

Wong knocked on the door and gave Tony a pointed look. He watched carefully as Tony took his remaining gear and left.

"He was wonderful, really," Sharon told Wong. "You don't have to worry about him, I promise."

"It's you I worry about," Wong said as he dispensed her medication. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"And that means more to me than you know," she assured him, taking her pills. "You're pretty wonderful yourself."

Wong smiled, told her she wasn't getting out of tomorrow's physical therapy, and wished her a good night.

Sharon snuggled back into the hospital bed. If her feet slightly swayed in the count of a waltz, that was her business. She dreamed of dancing and twirling around in Tony's arms.

______

Author's Notes (again): Blue Salvia - connected to healing; represents wisdom, a long life and good health. It's common for those recovering from an ailment to receive this plant.

Also, some of my favorite memories of my grandparents are times I sat with them some evenings while the Lawrence Welk Show reruns played on PBS. I figured this AU had to have something similar for a radio show.

[heaven-s-black-box]

Tomorrow pt.2- Maya Centric

Return to File

Recovery date: August 16th, 2020

Description: Maya dies of old age, in her sleep, and wakes to find her family and friends waiting on her.

Notes: Content warning for death, and mention of still birth. Recovered in conjunction with Maya fan from research lab Ao3, we thank them once again for their contributions. The first entry can be found here.

Word count: 923

Back to directory

Maya had always thought she’d fear her death. Maybe it was because Miles’s had once mentioned the statistics of dying peacefully being rather low. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to leave anyone behind. Or maybe it was just a fear of the unknown.

But now that she was here, laying in bed awaiting death. She found herself in an odd state of peace. By no means was she completely unafraid, and she definitely had some regrets, but there was still a strange sense of serenity. Maybe it was because she wasn’t alone, or because she was dying peacefully. Although she had a hunch that it was neither, and that she was actually excited to die. To see them again.

“Great-Aunty M, why are you smiling? Aren’t you afraid?” Trucy’s eldest, a little boy named Phoenix, asked. He’d been named after her father, although most called him Feenie.

“A little, but I can’t deny that I’m a bit happy.”

“Why’s that?” Apollo’s daughter, Thalassa, asked. She’d come along just after his and Trucy’s mom died. The two children were there with their parents, to keep Maya company. In fact everyone had been staying in shifts.

She let out a weak laugh that was cut off by a cough. Phoenix handed her a glass of water, and she took a sip before answering. “Because I get to see all my friends again, like your grandpa.”

It was true, she was the last to leave. Not by long however, Franziska had passed just last fall from a nasty cold. Maya had felt horrible for the girls suffering, but Franziska had fought hard and deserved her rest. Gumshoe had been the first to go, killed on the job unfortunately, a bullet to the chest through a lung. He’d choked to death on his own blood before they got him to the hospital. Miles had been next, a heart attack from the stress of work and old age. He’d been in the office talking with Klavier when it happened.

Phoenix and Larry had gone within months of each other. Larry had been caught in a rockslide while trying to find a view to paint. Phoenix, well, he’d died doing what he did best. Helping people. She wasn’t sure the exact details, but during a case it turned out his client had actually been the intended victim. The real killer decided to finish the job by staging a suicide in the court house. Phoenix walked in and was able to save the client, but was seriously injured in the process. He was in a coma for two weeks before passing. She only hoped he’d had pleasant dreams while in the coma.

Asides from them, the rest of her family had long since passed. Misty and Mia had been murdered, Godot (who she considered a brother in a sense, he was her sister's boyfriend after all) and Morgan (who was family by blood, but she hadn’t cared much for her death) had been executed, and Pearl. Poor sweat Pearl and passed from cancer before she even had a full life. 

Trucy’s youngest, only a few months old, had been named Pearl. The girl had always said if she had a daughter she’d name her Pearl. Maya was happy she’d gotten to see that day. In fact, she was happy to see everyone grow. She’d have so many stories to tell upstairs.

“Aunt Maya,” Trucy said, entering the room. “Mia called,” Mia was Maya’s daughter. Originally, she was supposed to have twin girls, but one had been a stillbirth. So instead of giving her daughter the middle name Pearl like she wanted to, she’d given her the middle name Misty, her other daughter's name. “She said she was leaving work now. She’ll be over soon with Miles.”

Mia had followed her late aunts and become a lawyer. When Maya asked who she thought should be the next master, Mia had said it would be her. “If Rayfa can run a kingdom and channel spirits, so can I.” She’d said.

The current queen of Khura’in had been like a cousin to Mia, and an aunt to the other children.

“That’s good, I haven’t seen them in awhile.” Trucy smiled.

“Thalassa, Apollo said you two need to head out. Feenie, we’ll leave once Mia gets here,” she said.

---

“Mystic Maya!” Pearl yelled, as she rushed towards her cousin and tackled her in a hug. “I’m so glad you're here, we’ve been waiting forever!”

“P-Pearl! Wha- Where am I? I was- I was… I went to sleep. Is this a dream or…” Maya trailed off and looked around. Behind Pearl stood all her friends.

Mia walked up to her next with open arms. “Welcome to heaven sis, come on. Everyone’s waiting.”

“Everyone?” She asked, as Pearl and Mia pulled her towards the group.

She was greeted by a chorus of hellos and good to see yous from all her friends. Gumshoe and Larry pulled her into a bone crushing hug, and she was only freed when Franiska threatened to whip them. She gave Maya a soft nod, and Miles gave her a handshake, while Phoenix pulled her into a nice hug. With a soft kiss to her lovers cheek, she finally went to her mom. 

“Hey mom, it’s been awhile,” she laughed softly, as tears filled her eyes. 

“Welcome home sweetheart.” She smiled, pulling Maya into a hug. When they pulled away, Maya whipped her tears.

“Boy, do I have some stories for you guys. First, we need to find some people.”

[chocoholicannanymous]

If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Pt XVIII

This is the last part of this. Of a story that I was pretty certain I wouldn’t finish and just posted the bit I had in my scraps and snippets tag for a lark. You read that, and you liked it, and your response made me want to try and finish it. And so here we are, ~29k finished fic. 

Thank you for the support.

Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, pt VI, pt VII, pt VIII, pt IX, pt X, pt XI, pt XII, pt XIII, pt XIV, pt XV, pt XVI and pt XVII.

New York is big and loud and filthy and expensive.

Kurt's first apartment had been an absolute rathole. He'd shared it with four others, and his “room” had been a repurposed coatroom. There had been just enough place for a bed and a tiny table instead of a desk. He'd only brought the most necessary in way of clothing, and with the exception of two shirts hanging from a nail in the wall he'd been forced to keep everything in a suitcase under the bed.

He'd moved out after a month, tired of never being able to keep food in the kitchen, weary of the nicks surrounding the lock on his door – he'd replaced the old one day 1, but even the best of locks only went so far – and fed up with having to carry all his valuables with him at all times.

Luckily the Warbler network had activated and Trent's older brother had offered up his guest room (and if that wasn't a sign of wealth, a student in New York with a guest room, then Kurt didn't know what was) for the rest of the year provided Kurt find someplace else to spend the night on those occasions it was needed. During the fall it'd mostly been solved by Sebastian coming to visit and the two sharing a cheap hotel room, and during the fall by Kurt spending the night at Sebastian's apartment. It had been tempting to move in with Sebastian then, but Kurt had resisted and they both agreed they'd become stronger for it.

Living together had been tough, especially since Sebastian had a lot more money available than Kurt. They'd managed to find a balance though and looking back Kurt feels proud of the work they'd put in to make it work. Three years (and counting) together and these days Kurt is willing to proclaim that Sebastian is as much of a perfect boyfriend as it's possible to be.

Yes, New York is still loud and filthy and big, but it's also full of light and laughter and love. Kurt's learned to find his way around both city and school, and he's on track for graduation with excellent prospects. Life is good.

Of course, that kind of means he's overdue for a cold shower and unfortunately it comes as cold and icy as is possible.

“Blaine. I guess I should have known you'd turn up.”

Like a bad penny, Kurt thinks. His ex-boyfriend just smiles wider at the words, clearly not picking up on the undertones.

“Yes! I'll always come back to you, Kurt. We're meant to be – you're my soulmate.”

Kurt shudders. All these years, and he still haven't gotten over his negative reaction to those words.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure you and I have different interpretations of what those things mean. Personally I can't see how someone who walked out of my life without a word years ago could be considered my 'soulmate', but that's me.”

“That's not fair! I never wanted to leave you, but my parents made me.”

Blaine does this thing with his face that resembles what Kurt remembers of Blaine's “I've apologized, sort of, and you should forgive me now” expression and Kurt thinks that if Blaine could see himself he'd never ever do it again. It's not pretty. It kind of looks like he's about to shit his pants, frankly.

“Right. Your parents. And why, exactly, were they so determined to get you out of Lima without saying goodbye?”

Blaine flinches, and Kurt can see the realization hit him. Strange. It's as if he never even thought about the possibility that Kurt would know about the lies Blaine had told. Emotions run across Blaine's eyes and face, one after the other, and Kurt just waits without even trying to figure out what's going through his ex's mind. He's beyond caring.

“Kurt, I... I, I have a confession to make. When I got home that last night, my parents, they were waiting up for me. They made assumptions, and I, I let them.”

Blaine's face twists, and a couple of tears start falling. Kurt would be touched, really he would, except he happens to know that Blaine can cry on command.

“I know I shouldn't have, I know it was wrong, I was just so afraid! I thought they'd throw me out, and so I kept quiet and did what they wanted. I'm so sorry I did that to you.

“I love you, Kurt!”

The thing is, he can remember when those words from Blaine's lips would make him melt. That's no longer true. Now he listens to them like he would a performance, and he finds them lacking. He should have gone for soft instead of intense, a hint of tears maybe, not volume and anger.

This isn't school though, even though it very much is a performance, nor is it worth critiquing. It's not worth anything, really. Kurt sighs a little, just wanting all of it to be over and Blaine to be gone.

“Here's the thing. I understand, I guess. In your shoes I would have been worried to tell my dad the truth too. I think just about every teenager out there would be at least a little afraid to tell their parents they got drunk and stupid.

“But I also think that just about every teenager out there knows that there's some kind of middle-ground between 'I got drunk and tried to rape my boyfriend' and 'my boyfriend drugged me and tried to rape me'. Except apparently you didn't. You just went with what would get you of the hook the fastest and easiest.”

“Hey! That's not fair!”

“Oh, it isn't? You doing what you did is okay, but me calling it what it was is unfair? Now, why am I not the least bit surprised that that's how you feel?

“You know, at first I didn't understand how you could do it. How you could say you loved me and then not just leave me, but let your parents believe that I would do something like that to you. Well, that you could let anyone think I'd do that to anyone.

“But as I said, I understand why you did it.”

A triumphant look flash up in Blaine's eyes. Oh, he's doing a pretty good job at hiding it – much better than he would have been able to as a teenager – but Kurt knows him, and he's looking for it.

“You threw me under the bus because you knew it'd be an easy out. You could have told your parents something else, anything else, but you chose the worst possible lie – one you had to have known would get me in trouble. You did it because it was easy, and it would get you of the hook – maybe even get you some sympathy instead of the punishment you deserved – and you did it because that was all you cared about. You.

“I always knew you were a bit self-involved, but I told myself it was just part of you being a performer. A healthy ego's pretty much a must, and I used to think that was it. Except it turned out you were so focused on you, and your needs and wants, that nothing else mattered. Certainly not me.

“It took me a while to accept, but I know now that regardless of what you said you didn't love me. Not really. You might have thought you did, but Blaine? Love means that the other person's just as important to you as you yourself are. And I never was that to you.”

He ignores Blaine's protests and just continues, projecting his voice to be heard over the barely restrained excuses and lies.

“The truth is that your lack of empathy and care for other people borders on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and quite frankly I am better off for not having you remain in my life. Just don't expect me to thank you for it though.

“No one else will either. Do you realize how many people you worried with your little disappearing act? There was quite a few at Dalton who were convinced that your parents had shipped you off to conversion camp. They were counting down until your 18th birthday and from what I heard there was even the beginning of a fund to pay your way at Dalton if you escaped and were disowned.”

There's a triumphant gleam in Blaine's eyes. Clearly he's pleased about his friends being so worried about him and so ready to help him out. Kurt just wants to stomp that light out. Violently.

“Then when you didn't resurface after your birthday a few started worrying that your parents had you in a mental hospital, and there was talk of trying to stage some kind of rescue. That only lasted so long, of course.

“You see, somehow it's hard to convince anyone that their friend is practically jailed and in need of a rescue when they're seen out and about clubbing in L.A.. After all, these days everyone carries a phone, so the idea that you were unable to contact someone – anyone – and ask for help went up in flames pretty quick after that.”

Thad had been so angry that he'd made sure every single Dalton student that had ever know Blaine found out, and even the boy's most die-hard supporters had given up then and there.

They'd all understood not wanting to getting into a conflict with your family, especially when said family usually paid for college and any possible trust funds tended to be under the family's control for a while longer. What they hadn't understood was Blaine's total lack of communication. Email telling them that Blaine was okay but under orders not to contact anyone from Ohio would have gone a long way to ease worries, and was, they felt, the very least he owed them.

“Funny thing about you showing up here now? I can't help but remember that you turned 21 a couple of weeks ago. You didn't happen to get access to a trust fund then did you? Not that I actually care, but there are some old bets to settle.”

There wasn't, not really, but enough Warbler had warned Kurt about this very scenario with an added “I bet he shows up afterwards, thinking you'll take him back” for it to not quite be a lie.

Blaine splutters before launching into a long row of “explanations”, one more shitty than the other. It's obvious that he didn't expect Kurt to be angry with him, but instead to be welcomed with open arms. It's even sounding as if Blaine expected Kurt to take him back and just let him slide back into his life as if nothing had happened. Kurt isn't quite sure if Blaine intended for him to move in with Kurt and start a new life in New York, or if the idea was for Kurt to give up everything and follow Blaine back to L.A., but both options are equally ridiculous.

“Stop. Just, stop. I told you, I don't care. If you want to get in touch with any of your old friends from Dalton and McKinley and explain all of it to them, do so. But you don't need to explain anything to me. I don't want to hear it. Your window for explaining yourself to me closed years ago. It closed after you let your parents walk into a police station ready to have me charged with rape.

“Nothing you can say will ever make that okay. Nothing you say can make me forgive you.”

Kurt stops himself and takes a deep breath. There's so much he could say, so many accusations that could be made, so much hatred to be poured out.

Blaine's actions had gotten Kurt into trouble, and could have landed him in jails. They'd been what had stopped Burt Hummel from running from reelection after being asked – while nothing had come from the Andersons' accusations there had still been enough people who had known about it for it to leak and ruin a political career. After all, who cared if it was true when it made for a good weapon? And “local congressman buries son's rape charge” made for a great weapon.

Kurt had been willing to risk it, but his dad hadn't wanted to. Had it leaked the only way to prove Kurt's innocence would have been to make the video of Blaine trying to assault Kurt public. No good parent does that to their kid had been Burt's position, and Kurt had been grateful.

That didn't mean he wasn't aware of exactly how much that had cost not just his dad but the whole state. The man who'd replaced his dad had been the kind of bigot that wasn't good for anyone, not even his followers.

Kurt still blames Blaine for that, and even if he'd been insane enough to consider forgiving everything else he's never forgiving that. The chance of making Blaine understand any of that is minuscule though. The chance of him caring is even less.

There is, simply put, no point in spending even another second on trying to get through to him.

“You're not welcome here. Please leave. Goodbye Blaine.”

Once the door is closed and locked behind Blaine Kurt finally relaxes. He's closing the door on Blaine in more than one way, finally able to truly do that – because regardless of what he's hoped he's always known that one day his former boyfriend would pop up again.

“If he comes back you're filing for a restraining order.”

“He won't come back, Sebastian.”

“You don't know that. He did today, didn't he?”

It's obvious that Sebastian is coming from a place of care and worry, and Kurt feels himself soften. Blaine hasn't just been the monster under Kurt's bed during all of these years.

“Yes, he did, and no, I guess I can't really know. But honey, I really don't think he will. Blaine was reminded today that actions have consequences, and he found out I have the means to ensure said consequences. Coming after me and trying to change my mind is more work than he's ever shown himself willing to put in.

“After all, he's not the kind to stick around when the spit hits the fan.”

Luckily Sebastian is.

~ The end ~

[zukkoxx]

mha boys realizing they’re in love pt.1

w/ deku, bakugo

tw⚠️ insecurities!, self doubt!

deku 🥦

izuku knew he loved you since you guys started dating.

he had liked you for a long time, and when you finally got together in your last year of UA, he couldn’t have been happier.

he planned on living the rest of his life with you. and would go through any feats to make it possible.

so when you started to feel doubts about your relationship? that was a wake up call for him.

you had just finished training, all sweaty and tired, walking back to your dorm with a towel around your neck.

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, and just happened to come across a twitter post about your boyfriend, deku, who had just taken down one of the villains that’s been on the run for months.

you smiled. you were so proud of him. already achieving his dream in becoming one of the greatest heroes. and getting the recognition he finally deserved.

you made it your your dorm, slumping on your bed as you read some of the comments.

woah this guy is still attending UA!? he’ll be a great hero for sure

there’s no one like him!

deku strikes again! what a stud😍

you laughed at some, grimaced at others that claimed the mission was too easy for him. but one particular comment had you freezing in your spot.

is he single? i won’t hesitate to run to the scene and give him my hand in marriage right now!

you knew it was a fun, lighthearted comment. but you clicked the the commenters page and instantly noticed how beautiful as preppy she was.

she was also a big deku fan...probably had more merch than you.

you sighed and threw your phone across the bed.

for the past few weeks, you had been thinking about how different you and izuku were in terms of success.

you were both in your last year of high school, and he had already done so much.

worked on so many cases with pro heroes and went through successful missions all the time. he was destined to become the greatest hero.

and you?

well, you’ve never even caught a villain.

sure you’ve helped out on low grade missions for the hero you interned under, but you had never been publicly praised like izuku. you never stood out.

you had trouble believing you’d become a hero at all.

you always wondered, wouldn’t izuku be better off with someone that could keep up with him? who wouldn’t hold him back. someone who he wouldn’t leave in the dust when he excelled in the future.

he deserved someone better.

your thoughts were cut off when your dorm door brushed open, revealing no other than the man himself.

izuku walked into your room with worried eyes and seemed out of breath.

“y/n? ive texted and called a bunch of times. why haven’t you answered?” he asked, and you subtly turned to your phone that you discarded on the other half of the bed.

“my ringer was off. sorry izu.” you tired to give him a smile as he sat next to you on your bed. “i saw an article about your mission today. you were amazing!” you complimented.

“ahh you give me too much credit. i couldn’t have dont anything with the pro heroes and other people helping.”

“still, you’re a great hero. i wish i was like that.” you chuckle dryly, past insecurities already pushing forward again.

“what!? you’re a great hero y/n!” izuku exclaimed.

“i’ve barely done anything izuku. i don’t know how you put up with me. i should be able to help you on your missions, but i’m stuck in the same position i have been in. i don’t know when i’ll improve.”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic, but you had been feeling this way for so long. it was all just spilling out now.

and izuku? he literally stopped breathing when he heard what you were saying about yourself. “you deserve someone that will be able to keep up with you. what will people think when they find out the amazing deku is dating a weak, incapable, good for nothing-”

“don’t say one more word y/n.” izuku cuts you off, and you look up to meet his eyes piercing yours.

they were dark, nothing like their usual gleaming glow that shined when he looked at you.

there was no sign of amusement on any of his features. just dead seriousness

“what the hell are you talking about y/n?” he asks, but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “you’re one of the most courageous, brave, intelligent, capable people i know! where is all of this coming from?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while. it’s just you’re so...amazing and i’m so...” you knew anything you could have said after that would make him even more angry. it was nothing positive.

god he probably hated you for being so insecure.

“you’re you, y/n.” izuku says softly. “you’re you and you’re who i love. i don’t care about what i do, what you do, who says what! i love you for you!”

izuku looks at you with so much love and compassion. you stared into his eyes, wondering what was gong on in his head.

well? at the moment he despised himself for letting you feel this way.

you were his whole world! the person who supported you in everything he did and he would support you in the same way! he couldn’t understand why you were feeling this way when he was literally...in love with you.

he loved you yeah of course, but hearing the way you were speaking about yourself, and how you had doubts about your relationship made his heart physically hurt. he was absolutely and unconditionally in love with you and wouldn’t be able to see himself with anyone else.

and he needed you to hear it.

“y/n you’re my everything! i’m so in love with you, no amount of fame or recognition could make me even think about leaving you!” izuku said urgently, and he finally calmed down when he saw a slight smile reach your lips.

a real one this time.

the conversation continued, and izuku promised to let you learn and remember how in love he was with you until it was the last thing he’d do.

bakugo 💥

bakugo would never pursue anyone unless he definitely knew he loved them.

so of course he never asked you out when he couldn’t differentiate if what he felt for you was love, or if it was a stupid little crush.

he didn’t like thinking about his feelings, especially the irrelevant ones.

he was trying to become the number one hero. who needed time for love anyways?

so he ignored his “feelings” for you, not allowing them to confuse him any longer.

it wasn’t until a few months into his third year when bakugo got the worst news of his life.

you were on a mission. an important one that had you absent from school for weeks.

bakugo was worried.

he’d text you every few days, asking what was going on and how things were and you’d always respond with “it’s fine.” or “we’re hanging in there.”

he assumed it was a pretty difficult mission, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

you were strong

so when he heard from a certain icy-hot that you were in the hospital in critical condition after completing the mission, he forgot about everything and ran straight to you.

ignoring aizawa’s calls, he almost blasted himself out of UA and checked every hospital for you, considering he didn’t even ask todoroki which one you were in before he left.

when he finally reached the hospital holding you, he sprinted to your room.

he found you hooked up to a bunch of wires and tests.

you looked peaceful, sleeping while the heart monitor beeped beside you.

but you looked horrible. bloody bandages covered almost every limb, and your body was covered in bruises.

bakugo’s heart dropped to his stomach. he couldn’t stand seeing you like this.

why does his feelings have to be 100x more noticeable when your tragically hurt!?

he sat down on the empty chair beside the hospital bed, wondering why no one else was visiting at this time.

he stared at you, something he couldn’t get off of his mind lately.

“why do you make me feel things, dumbass?” he asked, waiting for a response. “i never skip class! you just had to get hurt and make me skip the test review.” he rolled his eyes, but his face softened as he looked at you, still sleeping.

“i’ll help you study. you’ll probably fail without going over what we learned.”

.....

“would you wake up, you shitty woman!” he yelled, gripping the side of your bed “this is scary, you know?”

.....

“i should’ve called you today, i just assumed you’d be too busy to talk. if you told me you were in trouble, i’d blast my ass to wherever you were in a heartbeat.” bakugo said, feeling his actual heart skip a beat when you still didn’t respond. 

“please wake up...”

after about an hour of waiting, your other classmates came in, checking on your condition.

you still hadn’t woken up, but your vitals were better and your breath were more steady.

by the time night fell, everyone left; except for bakugo

he was just starting to fall asleep when he felt she. he heard you stir in the hospital bed.

his head shot up, quickly turning to face you as he saw you blinking you eyes slowly.

“y/n!” he yelled a little louder than anticipated, making you shoot awake and look at him.

you blinked a few more times before realizing who you were looking at. “katsuki!?” you asked, trying to sit up, but feeling a sharp pain in your side.

“hey! don’t move dumbass. are you okay? do you remember anything?” he frantically asked.

“umm...i’m fine?” you said, sounding like you were trying to convince yourself. “why are you here?”

“why am i here? you were admitted into the hospital in critical condition!”

“i-i’m sorry, everything’s a bit fuzzy right now.” you say softly, putting a hand on your forehead and tryin got remember everything.

bakugo softened, and waited until you got yourself together. “how long have you been here?” you ask

“since this morning.”

“this morning!? katsuki what about school? do your parents even know you’re here?”

“why the hell are you worried about me? you’re the one hooked up to all these machines and can barely move!” bakugo yelled, trying to understand why you were so focused on him being there with you.

“i just never thought you’d be the one to go out of your way to check on someone. let alone be here the whole day...” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of bakugo keeping your sleeping body company for hours.

bakugo froze at your words.

he really wasn’t the type to go check on people for more than a few minutes. especially not one to skip school because of it.

maybe he did this because he felt a little more than what he thought he did.

maybe this wasn’t a stupid little crush? maybe it was something serious that he had just been blowing off.

when he heard about your condition, he just couldn’t stand by. there must have been something that pushed him to run to you.

“it’s cause u care about you...idiot. i wasn’t gonna a let you suffer here alone.” he huffs, crossing his arms.

“katsukiii do you like me or something?” you asked in a teasing tone

he couldn’t believe you were making jokes at a time like this. furthermore, he couldn’t believe how easy it was for you to see through his facade.

“i do.” he states. there was no point in lying.

“i was just kidding kats-“

“i’m not.” he cuts you off. “i care about you, and i like you. a lot. so...you better like be bad damn it. or i’ll blow you to bits!”

you chuckled and smiled tenderly at him. you definitely weren’t expecting him to say that, but you weren’t complaining.

“i like you too...i guess.” you smile, and katsuki tsked before smirking at you.

he finally felt like he could breath again, and that everything was going to be fine now.

except...katsuki didn’t like you. he loved you. but no way would he tell you that

this absolutely sucks i can’t believe i’m posting this. if you can, plz give me some requests so i don’t make trash hcs like this again. they’ll be a pt.2 later. hopefully it isn’t as bad as this one.

click here to send a request. i’d really appreciate it!

[clynnra]

Strongest Together

After that disappointing last ten minutes of the series finale, I didn't think I would ever write for my beloved boys again. But, thanks to binging lots of episodes of the show on ion since it started airing there (happy to post this story on one of ion's Five-O Fridays) and reading many fix-it fics, I had to do this for Danny. I will be forever bitter that our last glimpse of him ever was hurt (physically and emotionally) and alone on Steve's beach. So this is my way of fixing that sad image. There's background (literally, just a few minor mentions) Steve/Catherine and Danny/others, but this is a McDanno story. I didn't want to vilify Steve, since he should take care of himself and find peace, so I hope that comes across. Finally, eternal thanks to my beta PhoebeMiller for making my story way better than it was with her fantastic feedback about story line, diction, and all the grammar. She's an awesome writer in her own right - go read her wonderful stories! And always thanks to SheppardMcKay for inspiring me to post fic.

Steve and Danny. Danny and Steve. Steve left Danny. Danny was alone.

Sighing, Danny knew he had his kids, his family and the team. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt so fucking much. Days like today, it still hurt to breathe.

Danny didn’t begrudge Steve finding his peace. Or his taking care of himself. Hell, he tried to instill self preservation in his Neanderthal time and again. But when Steve finally took his advice and put himself first, it had ripped Danny’s heart to shreds.

It still hurt so damn much because of the way Steve left. The timing sucked. Just out of the hospital, Danny could barely walk even with his cane. This proved Steve was hiding the depth of his own suffering. Normally, he'd never leave Danny when he was injured. Danny smiled and remembered Steve raiding his house for cookies after he'd been shot in quarantine. The fondness bubbling up just about killed him.

More memories of this year from hell came back, and Danny had to sit down. He'd moved himself into Steve's house after Doris died because he sensed Steve needed him. The loss was just too much after Joe's death. When Joanna had died, Steve was there for him, cooking him eggs most mornings, claiming routine was good. Danny knew Steve was talking about himself, too.

They'd fallen into something Danny dared call a relationship when he was awake late at night, insomnia raging. He and Steve lived together. They ate meals together most nights. They walked Eddie, locked up the house and said good night like a couple.

A couple of idiots, Danny grumbled now. Or was he the biggest idiot? He'd made this huge leap into what proved to be a lonely abyss.

What hurt the most was Steve pretty much rejecting the idea of the two of them growing old together on that beach. Danny didn't know for sure when his best friend would return from his Kung Fu adventures. He'd only counted on Steve coming home at some point. Now, when he replayed their last conversation, the dagger twisted in his chest even more.

The sad fact was - Danny loved Steve. Not just like a friend. He loved him like I want to spend the rest of my life with you even though you drive me crazy, you caveman. He never told Steve he was in love with him. Danny was scared and convinced such an admission would be suicide. Because he feared their friendship would be over, was so sure of it, in fact, that he kept all of his feelings locked away. He didn't want to fuck up the best friendship he'd ever had.

Not to mention, Steve was straight. He'd never given Danny any hint that he was interested. Unless you counted Steve's octopus arms and his total disregard for Danny's personal space. Which Danny did not dwell on. No way could he let himself go there. That's why he'd pushed Steve into dating. First Brooke and then the vet. Neither had really worked out, and Danny did not allow himself to question why. He would have kept on searching for the perfect mate for Steve, too, if he hadn't left. Even though Danny wanted it to be him.

No one knew Danny's secret. Although he mostly dated women, he had a few relationships with men while at Seton Hall. He kept his attraction to men close to the vest. He'd thought his college experiments were in the rearview mirror until the giant goof stole his crime scene.

To distract himself from the heartbreak over Steve’s dating, he’d focused on reconciling with Rachel in a vain attempt to stitch his family back together. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, it just didn’t work since he was in love with Steve. When they finally figured out they were better as friends, Rachel shocked him with advice to stop dithering and tell Steve. He was so taken aback by Rachel’s accurate insight into his heart, past all his bullshit, he’d gone to that bar and met Joanna. Like so many other things in his life, hooking up with her to forget Rachel and Steve had ended all kinds of bad. Spectacular didn't even cut it. Joanna's death wasn't his fault. This he knew. But he couldn't stop feeling guilty. She was with him in the car because of how he'd chosen to mend himself, and she'd died after everything he'd done to try to save her.

And of course, there was Catherine. He envied her for having Steve the way he wanted. She knew every inch of him. She knew so many more secrets.  Steve had opened his heart to her - and what had she done? She'd pulled a Doris. More than once. And the idiot took her back.

Weren't they a pair? Danny knew he was a hypocrite for being angry with Steve about getting back with an ex time and again. He didn't care. He couldn't help feeling upset that Steve was with Catherine (probably this very minute) and not him.

+++++++

Three months had passed since Steve left, and Danny’s PT was coming along well. He texted Steve a few times a week to check in, while Steve returned his texts within a couple hours. They’d spoken on the phone a few times, and Danny lost himself in the comforting cadence of Steve’s voice. Their calls ranged from about 20 minutes to almost an hour, and their talks were nice. But during one of their conversations, as he listened to Steve chatter on about what he did in whatever destination he was currently staying, Danny realized that Steve’s journey to find himself didn’t include him. Steve didn’t need him like Danny needed him. And that revelation punched the breath out of him. He tried to cover it, but Steve, with his keen SEAL senses, heard it.

“Danno, you okay?” Steve interrupted his story about what he saw in Scotland.

“Yeah, babe, I’m ok. Just still get tired sometimes. Had PT this morning and energy kinda zapped. You mind if we pick this up some other time? I’m gonna have a lie down.” Danny chewed his lips as he lied. It was a white lie, but still.

“Ok… you take care buddy. I love you.” Steve said with a note of concern.

“You too.” replied Danny. He couldn’t tell Steve he loved him on their calls because he didn’t want Steve to hear how in love with him he was. Texting “love you, too” was fine, but when he said it, he felt his heart in his throat.

Putting his phone down, Danny glanced around himself. He was still at Steve’s house sitting on his couch. Eddie was laying on the floor nearby. And Danny came to a decision. Steve was out finding himself, and Danny really needed to do the same. He had spent so much of the past ten years being part of Steve and Danny that outside of being a father to Grace and Charlie and being on the task force, he‘d kinda lost himself. He felt like his life wasn’t making sense after deciding to just be friends with Rachel and then the tragedy with Joanna. He knew that in order to move on with his life, he had to make a change. He would always be there for Steve, but it was time he was there for himself.

A few days later, Steve called again. This time he was in Ireland. He told Danny about the beautiful scenery there, and after he was done, he asked, “So, what are you up to now, Danno? PT almost done right?”

Danny took a deep breath and started. “Funny you should ask that. I, um, I’m gonna move back to my place, Steve.”

There was a moment of stunned silence.

“Why? Danny, is something wrong?” Steve replied, trying to keep a lock on his emotions.

“No, babe.” Danny grimaced and continued. “I just, uh, think it’s time to move back. You know, you’re out there trying to find yourself and your peace without me…”

Steve gasped, “Danny…”

Shaking his head, Danny kept going. “and that’s fine, Steve. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. You deserve to find the peace and happiness you need. I just need to find myself again a bit. After Joanna died, I felt sorta lost. And I was starting to make sense of my life again before Daiyu Mei swooped in…” He didn’t mention and when you left me. Danny shook that thought from his head.

“So, I need to do this. To remember who I was before I was part of Steve and Danny…” he finished with a fake chuckle.

“Danno, are you sure?” Steve asked, a note of sadness in his voice.

Danny nodded even though Steve couldn’t see him. “Yes.”

There was another moment of charged silence.

“Ok, Danno, I got it. You need this, so I got your back. Whatever you need. Hey, I gotta head out, but I’ll call again, alright?” Steve sounded like he was happy for Danny but wasn’t quite believing it.

Danny replied, “Sure. Bye, babe.”

Steve said clearly, “I love you, Danny.”

“You too.” Danny croaked out. When the call ended, he dropped his phone next to him and covered his face with his hands taking in a few deep breaths.

It was time to find who he was again without Steve.

+++++++

Danny finally completed his eight weeks of PT, and his doctor okayed his return to light work aka paperwork. He still had to check in each month since it was his second gunshot wound in his chest in two years. As part of his process to return to Five-O, the governor mandated Danny to complete visits with his therapist since he survived such a traumatic experience. At first, he was annoyed he had to go to therapy again; he’d rather eat pineapple on his pizza. But during the couple of months of sessions about his kidnapping and near death at the hands of Daiyu Mei, he found himself working through various issues including the death of his partner Grace, his guilt over Matty, his complicated relationship with Rachel, Grace’s kidnapping and almost fatal car accident, Charlie’s paternity and medical condition, as well as other work related stresses and traumas. The governor’s directive for Danny’s therapy was once a week for two months, but he continued past that, and for a few weeks, he was going twice a week. He just unloaded whatever was burdening his mind and heart. He felt stronger for it. He even told the therapist about his feelings for Steve, and she suggested that to find closure or peace about it, he should consider discussing his feelings with Steve. Danny knew she was right but wasn’t ready yet. However, talking things out gave him the perspective he needed.

With the end of PT and his ongoing therapy doing well, he told the kids first he was moving out of Steve’s house. They were shocked, Tani near tears while Junior took the news stoically. But once Danny told them why, they were very supportive and helped Danny move to his now renovated place over two weekends. Lou, Quinn, and Adam also chipped in their time to help with Danny’s move. Since Junior moved in with Tani, they figured out a schedule of who would check on Steve’s place and when including the upkeep of the grounds. Junior and Tani told Danny once he was cleared for regular work, he could share some of the maintenance duties. They'd take care of it for now. Tani joked that maybe they could get Kamekona to hire some of his family. Danny rolled his eyes and smacked her. None of them had enough money for that enterprise.

Eddie was another story. Poor guy was just adapting to his master being gone. Now they were relocating him. Danny decided Eddie would live with him, and Junior would take him as time allowed since he loved Eddie, too. It was a good arrangement, as the loyal dog loved each of them. And he enjoyed the extra attention he was getting.

Danny felt like things were starting to get back to the new normal without Steve while he was at work doing paperwork and running point for any cases from HQ if needed. He surprised himself that he got the hang of the HQ computer table after getting lots of help from the team. Quinn was especially patient, and he appreciated it.

While Danny settled back at work, he still kept in contact with Steve. His best friend would mostly text him to check in with how things were going and send some pictures of gorgeous landscapes and appetizing food. When they did talk on the phone here and there, Steve would catch Danny up on things with him. Danny winced when Steve spoke about Catherine, but tried to sound as supportive as possible. He had to keep reminding himself that if Steve was happy with her, he would just have to accept it. And during one of these phone calls, Danny promised himself that he needed to start dating again. He may be in love with Steve, but he also owed it to himself to move forward and not spend the rest of his life pining after his best friend who was happy with the love of his life.

In a bold move, he asked Adam to be his wingman, explaining he needed to shake things up. He wanted to reclaim who he was before Daiyu Mei and even before his last disastrous attempt to get back with Rachel. What he left unspoken was his need to reinvent himself without Steve.

Adam didn’t even raise an eyebrow and had replied, “You got it, brother. You were there for me when I was lost without Kono, so I’m here for you.”

Danny was so grateful. They went to nice bars, the types professionals patronize. Danny did score dates with some doctors, lawyers, and accountants. He surprised Adam by dating both men and women, but after that initial shock, Adam supported his choices, even offering to set Danny up with friends. He even went on a few double dates with Adam and Tamiko. The companionship was nice, and the sex even nicer, but Danny didn’t feel like any of these people would help him get over Steve. At least he felt like his life was more balanced and not just focused on Steve all the time.

When he first mentioned to Steve that he was dating again, there was a silence long enough that Danny thought the call dropped. He could easily FaceTime Steve but just could not find the courage to see his beloved face again. The phone calls offered distance, a buffer. And Danny needed it so he could continue to support Steve and survive his updates when they included Catherine.

Just when Danny was ready to ask his best friend if he could hear him, an exaggeratedly upbeat Steve jumped back in.

“Hey, buddy, I’m glad you’re getting out there again. You deserve to be happy, too.” His voice cracked on the last bit.

After that last odd tone from Steve, they continued like normal when Danny filled him in on the latest with Grace and Charlie. The rest of the call was pleasant with some of their usual teasing.

But on the next call when Danny mentioned how he and Keith went on a double date with Adam and Tamiko, Steve choked and started coughing on the phone.

“Hey, babe, you ok? Don’t choke on the butter in your coffee, alright?” Danny joked.

Steve got his breath back and said, “Sorry, went down the wrong tube. Wait, so you’re dating guys now, Danny?”

Danny didn’t care for Steve’s tone, but answered, “Well, I did date a few guys back in college, but just stopped once I met Rachel.” He didn’t mention and once I met you. “Is that gonna be a problem for you, Steven?”

Steve quickly responded, “Of course not, Danny. I’m just shocked you never told me this in the over ten years we’ve known each other. And for the record, it’d be hypocritical of me if it was.”

Now it was Danny’s turn to gasp. “Wait, when the hell were you dating guys, Steve? In all the years we’ve been together, you’ve only talked about women.”

Sighing, Steve said, “Well, I didn’t really date guys, Danny. When I was deployed, I helped my teammates out like they helped me. So to be more specific, I’ve had sex with guys, but not actually dated them. I enjoyed the sex and was even attracted to some of the guys, but DADT kept me from being open about being sexually attracted to men.”

Danny couldn’t help himself. “Did Cath know?”

Steve chuckled briefly. “Of course, man. I told her I slept with several men and was attracted to some. She was cool with it since she had some bi friends and family.”

Danny admired Steve’s honesty, and he wanted to be honest, too.

“Steve, dating these men and women - it’s nothing serious. Don’t get me wrong, the company and sex are great, but they don’t compare to you.”

It sounded like Steve sniffled on the other end of the line. His voice was slightly hoarse. “And just so you know, partner, no one will ever replace you. No one can. Hey, we gotta grab some food…”

Danny teased, “Try not to ruin your food with pineapple, you animal. Enjoy your meal.”

Snickering, Steve added, “Copy that.”

Steve’s voice became sincere again. “I’ll call you again soon, Danno. I love you.”

Automatically, Danny replied, “You, too.”

Steve’s breath hitched before saying, “I miss you, Danny. Talk to you soon. Bye.”

Danny exhaled, “I miss you, too. Bye, babe.”

Once Danny placed his phone down, he was like, good going Williams. You almost told him you’re in love with him while Cath was right there. Don’t be an idiot next time.

+++++++

It had been a week since that eye-opening phone call and about six months since Steve left, Danny had been back to regular responsibilities at work for about a month. His therapy sessions were twice a month now. He was still seeing people but didn’t feel the desperation to date like when he first started a few months ago. He felt confident in his own skin again, feeling better both professionally and personally. But he was still in love with Steve. Danny finally decided. Fuck it. I’ll always love the maniac, I just have to live with it.

And it came to a head during one of their phone calls almost two months later.

Danny couldn’t keep himself from asking, “You happy with Cath, Steve?”

There was a pause before Steve said, “I wouldn’t know. She left about two months ago on another CIA assignment. She offered to come back when her job was over, but I told her that I need stability and consistency and her work didn’t provide that. I said I was proud that she found her way and happy for her that she loved her job. I told her that I would always love her, but she deserved someone who was in love with her.”

Danny’s heart sped up with hope. “So, what are you saying, Steve?”

Steve pushed air through his nose. “I’m saying that I couldn’t commit to her because I’m in love with you.”

“Steve…?” Danny’s voice shook with emotion.

“Danny, every time I told you I love you when we ended our calls, I meant it as I’m in love with you. You never repeated it to me so I assumed you didn’t feel the same way. But once you told me you dated guys, I got hopeful again. And after that phone call, I stopped sleeping with Cath. And she knew something was up with the no sex but never called me on it. That’s just not what we do. Things are easy for us, and when they’re not, we still pretend that they are. But my heart couldn’t just be satisfied with what was easy and familiar anymore. I needed the challenge and passion. I need you.”

Danny confessed, “Babe, I’m in love with you, too. I just couldn’t tell you since I thought you had your happily ever after with Catherine. When I figured you guys were permanent, I dated to move on without you. But it’s no use, Steve. I want you. I want everything with you.”

Choked with emotion, Steve whispered, “Danny.. I’m coming home.”

“I’m so glad, babe. I love you.”

+++++++

Two days later, Danny was at baggage claim. He spotted Steve immediately, tall and gorgeous with a full beard and short but longer than military regulation hair. Steve saw him too, and his face lit up with a huge smile that crinkled his eyes. They moved quickly through the crowd to each other. As he got closer, Danny spotted the specks of white in Steve’s hair and thought it just made his big goof even more handsome. Finally, they were in front of each other. Dropping his duffel, Steve wrapped his arms around Danny hugging him tightly. He tucked his face into Danny’s hair and inhaled deeply.

“Danno, I missed you so much.”

Danny just squeaked out a “me too” while he hugged Steve. He was too busy inhaling the travel worn scent of Steve. He couldn’t get enough of the man he loved. He rubbed his face into Steve’s chest, reveling in the physical presence he had wanted so much all these months and at long last had.

They moved so their foreheads were resting against each other. Breathing the same air, not aware of the bustle of the people around them.

Danny broke their peaceful bubble by moving his face away so he could look into Steve’s eyes. “Did you find the peace you needed, babe?”

Huffing and licking his lips, Steve shook his head. His left hand held Danny’s face as his gaze never wavered. “Not yet, but I’m working on it. I know I’ll get there with therapy and what I need most.”

Danny tilted his head questioningly at Steve.

“You.”

Then Steve kissed Danny. Eyes fluttering closed, Danny returned the kiss. Like this thing they were doing happened every day.

Feeling a surge of joy, Danny broke the kiss with a smile. Smiling himself, Steve opened his eyes.

“I think I need you to repeat yourself, I didn’t quite hear you,” Danny said with a smirk as he pulled Steve down again. This time, the kiss was firmer. Danny nipped Steve's bottom lip and he opened his mouth. Always the control freak, Steve cupped Danny's face so he could move him where he wanted. He hummed contentedly as he tasted Danny. A couple times, their teeth clacked, but their tongues soothed the minor mishaps. The frantic exploration continued until they needed air.

Eyes opening and panting a bit as their lips parted, they grinned at each other goofily.

“I think we gave the airport enough of a show, babe.” Danny joked.

Steve chuckled. He sobered a bit and said, “Danny, I love you.”

Danny smiled brightly as his heart thudded happily. “I love you, too, Steve. Let’s go home.”

“And where is that exactly?” Steve asked mischievously.

“Wherever you and I are together.” Danny replied quickly.

Appeased, Steve grabbed his bag and slung it on his left shoulder. He pulled Danny under his right arm as they walked to the car.

Danny with Steve. Strong on their own. Strongest together.

FIN.

[lunarmessenger]

hi!! i wonder if i could request a one shot angst with saeyoung. so mc have a huge anxiety and she always closed up everything even after she's with saeyoung. one day when saeyoung snapped at her out of stress, she end up missing for like around two weeks without any traces even saeran cant help saeyoung to find her

after searching for the whole times they end up finding out that mc got in accident and still in the hospital because her injuries was so bad and actually someone from rfa (u can choose who) try to hide this from saeyoung because mc told them everything

i know its quite hard im sorry 😭

ohohohoho anon you give me too much power for requesting an angsty prompt. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much for this request! I will have to split it into quite a few parts because otherwise...it’ll be much too long haha ^^;; - luna xx

p.s. sorry requests are taking so long!! the holidays have been insane, but i promise after christmas and new years i’ll go back to posting regularly!

warnings: graphic depictions of major injuries, mentions of hospitals, and mentions of mental illness.

word count: 1.9k

(pt. 2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4)

Hard Regrets (Pt. 1) - 707 x MC

Her nimble fingers switched on the heater as a cold chill ran through the house, hands reaching up to the small blanket she’d thrown over her shoulders. The soft patters of rain thumped against the roof of the apartment, the only sound competing with the rain being the soft clicks coming from Saeyoung’s computer and the flicker of paper as Saeran read through one of his many books.

She smiled fondly as Saeran’s eyes danced across each page, filling his mind with the story as he burrowed deeper into the couch. That smile faded as her eyes slowly switched to his brother, her boyfriend, the man hunched roughly over his desk as he typed furiously. Empty cans of soda and crinkled bags of honey buddha chips littered both his desk and his floor, causing her to sigh as she walked over to help clean up.

This project had ended up being one of his longer ones, tomorrow making it about two months since he was assigned the task by Jumin. She was used to seeing Jumin overwork Jaehee, but now that it was affecting Saeyoung the way it was...it made her anxious. Of course his exhaustion worried her, but he became much more irritable when he became fixated on an important project.

Within the past month he’d grown incredibly distant so that he wouldn’t have any sort of distractions, and that meant that she didn’t get to spend time with him as often as she wanted to. The last time she’d reached out to him he had glared at her, telling her that while yes, he loves you, he needed to finish this project.

“No distractions, MC.” She whispered softly under her breath, a reminder he himself had given her the last time she interrupted. All she’d wanted from him was a hug. She slowly approached, bare feet softly tapping against the wooden floors as she made her way over. She was a couple of feet away from him, stopping as she hesitated. Maybe coming up with some sort of excuse would help guide him away from his computer? It wouldn’t be seen as a distraction since it wasn’t selfish; more like a welfare check?

“Are you boys up for some tea?” Saeyoung didn’t move an inch, mumbling a rough no as he continued to type and click across the screen. She visibly deflated, the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep growing heavier from his rejection. He hadn’t even been sleeping in their bed lately; he would sleep right there, on that god damned desk of his. She was snapped out of her rejection at the sound of the couch cushions moving; Saeran gave a small smile as he book marked his page, placing the book on the coffee table as he stood.

“I would love some, MC. In fact, I’ll help you make it. Come on...” The soft tone of his voice was a nice contrast in comparison to the rough rudeness of Saeyoung, the weight on her chest slightly lifting as she walked with him into the kitchen. Saeran grabbed the tea leaves while MC weakly grabbed three glass mugs; despite Saeyoung saying he didn’t want any. She readied the kettle, pressing the on button and watching as the blue light illuminated the dim kitchen and the water slowly started to come to a boil.

“MC...I’m sorry that Saeyoung is...the way he is.” The sudden apology from Saeran made her eyes widen as she turned to look at him, parts of her long hair falling into her face as she cleared her throat.

“What? Oh, no I mean...I guess...” She tried to think of an excuse for him, tried to come up with reasons on why it didn’t bother her that he got so invested that he not only forgot about her and Saeran, but forgot to take care of himself. Her eyes grew hot with tears for a split second as she shook her head.

“I just, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be honest with him about anything, because the last time I tried he...” She started to visibly shake, the only thing keeping her together being the sudden tap of the kettle signaling the water was ready. When she’d interrupted him before he almost flipped the chair because he was so angry; her distraction had caused him to mistype due to ruining his focus; according to him.

The only people who knew how he was making her feel was Saeran and Zen; the thought of the two men’s kindness towards her when Saeyoung was the way he was when he was writing made a soft smile grace her exhausted face once again. Though she hated to admit it, sometimes she wondered why she had not moved on to either Saeran or Zen. Both men would treat her the way she deserved, and she knew that, really she did.

But Saeyoung...she just loved him so much.

The way he was when they first met; how he had tried so hard to push her away and he just couldn’t. Because he didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to either, and she stayed because she knew that he loved her. Something in him changed, she can’t really remember when it happened; it just did. When he got a new project it was like MC didn’t exist; and he acted like he didn’t treat her that way when it was finished. No matter how much she hated it, no matter how much it made her cry; she just couldn’t leave.

All because she loved him.

“MC...? Should we take these to the couch? Maybe I can read you a couple of chapters?” She was snapped back to attention by Saeran, giving a slight nod as he took two mugs and she carried the last one. The sweet smell of honey and chamomile filled her nose as she slowly walked over to Saeyoung’s desk, his body still in the same position she had left him.

“Saeyoung...” Her voice was soft as she tried not to startle him, her anxiety slowly building with the tension as Saeran noticed what she was doing.

“Wait, MC; maybe we should just leave the tea over here?” She paused furrowing her brows as she tilted her head and slightly turned towards him.

“Then how is he supposed to know we at least made him a cup?”

“MC—” She turned back around to continue walking when her foot caught on one of the empty cans, causing her to lose her balance as she let out a gasp.

“MC!” She tried to redirect the cup as it flew out of her hands, the hot tea splattering all over Saeyoung’s desk and computer. Her heart sank in her stomach as Saeran was instantly at her side, Saeyoung leaping from the hot temperature and the sparks that flew around his desktop as he yelled.

“Are you...are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?!” His voice boomed throughout the apartment as he turned towards her, golden eyes filled with rage as he loomed over her. He was so angry that he hadn’t realized her hand was red from being burned; she’d managed to get most of the tea spilt on her in an attempt to salvage his tea. 

“Oh, MC...oh God you’re burned; we need to get you to a hospital.” Saeran helped her up but Saeyoung was quick to push them apart, getting in her face as he pointed at his desktop.

“Do you know how long it took me to figure that out, MC?! You’re so fucking lucky that I had a back up running at the same time because I swear to God...” His voice was low, teeth clenched and nose scrunched as he angrily glared at her. Saeran grabbed him by the hood, yanking him away from MC as she shook from his outburst. He has never physically grabbed her and yelled at her the way he just did.

She watched as the two brothers went head to head, noses almost touching as they screamed back and forth. It became too much for her as she got up, trying not to catch their attention as she slid on her shoes and slowly opened the door. The rain had started to come down harder, the wind howling as her loose bun instantly came undone and wildly blew her hair around her face.

She almost, almost second guessed her decision until the sound of glass breaking caught her attention, the mug of tea that was supposed to be hers now smashed in pieces by one of the walls. Saeyoung’s chest was heaving while Saeran got up from a squatted position; almost as if he’d dodged whatever Saeyoung threw.

 Those pieces mirrored her heart; that mug was one that Saeyoung had bought her when they had first started going out. A picture of a cat had been printed on it, the cat making a winking face as the phrase I meow you! cradled the toon cat. It was one of her many prized possessions, and he had smashed it like it meant nothing to him.

That finalized her decision.

“What, Saeran? Stay out of this!”

“Are you so damn selfish that you haven’t realized that your girlfriend has burned half of her body to try and save your desktop? We need to get her to a hospital! Now!” He quickly turned to where she was squatting down by the wall, pausing when he realized that she wasn’t there anymore.

“MC...?” Saeran’s brows furrowed as he walked down the hall, leaving Saeyoung to cool off as he looked back towards his computer. The monitor screens were black as the tea slowly seeped into his keyboard and monitors. The more anger that left his body the more he’d realized what he’d done, his body slowly going into shock as he stared at the broken mug on the ground. The pink heart was in pieces, the larger part covered in brown tea as Saeran’s voice slowly became white noise in the background.

What had he done?

This entire time he’d been an absolute shit to his girlfriend; the one person who had supported him from day one. He slowly shuffled over to the broken pieces, socks growing wet from the spilled tea as he picked up the pieces.

“What have I done...?”

“Saeyoung! Saeyoung she’s gone!” He slowly blinked, not even bothering to adjust his glasses and messy red hair in tussles as he put down the glass and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What?”

“She’s gone! Her phone is on the coffee table, and she didn’t take her bag! Saeyoung we have to find her; there’s a storm outside and she’s by herself!” Saeran was rushing to put on his coat and grab an umbrella, his boots clunking against the floors as he grabbed Saeyoung’s shoulders.

“Saeyoung, if you love her, you need to get off your ass now and help me find her. Now!” He slapped his dumbfounded brother, forcing him on to his feet and throwing a coat at him as he grabbed one of the many car keys hanging from the key shelf. Reality sank in as he threw on his sneakers, grabbing a beanie from the coat rack and tossing it on. He felt his stomach churn as his hand brushed against her coat and scarf, grabbing the scarf she always wore and wrapping it around his neck.

We have to find her, we have to find her.

I have to find her.

[kaimelia]

Omggg I loved your fic “Overjoyed” I was wondering if you could do a part 2 where Amelia is really hormonal and it’s kinda funny? I love your writing so much!! Stay safe

overjoyed (pt 2)

a/n: hi! i also combined this with the like 4 other requests and ideas for a part 2, so if you sent one, it’s somewhere in here😅

--------------------------

"Hey, is everything okay?" Link had walked into the kitchen to see Amelia sitting on the floor, her hands cradling her bump as she cried softly. He kneeled down in front of her. "Amelia, what happened?"

"We're out of ice cream," she sniffled, wiping her eyes. Link stifled a laugh and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Do you want me to go out and get some?" She nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "Alright. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay." He kissed her forehead quickly, running his hand down her head before grabbing the car keys and rushing out of the apartment. Amelia slowly stood, cursing her shifted centre of gravity as she steadied herself on the kitchen island. She walked into the bathroom to see her eyes puffy, taking a moment to laugh at her crying over ice cream. "God, you two are already making Mommy's life difficult," she muttered, glancing down at her stomach.

Before finding out she was pregnant with twins, she had wanted to keep her pregnancy secret for as long as possible. But, with two babies occupying her womb, it wasn't quite possible to keep it hidden for very long. Every symptom she experienced was on full blast, bursting into tears at the slightest inconvenience, constant nausea, every inch of her body always aching and sore. Now, 17 weeks along, she was already forced to start wearing maternity clothes to fit around her stomach.

The front door opened again soon later, Link rushing through with a bag of different ice cream flavors. He pouted his lip out at the sight of her, opening her arms to embrace her. "Hormones are hitting me really bad," she muttered into his chest, sighing. "I'm sorry for being super dramatic about everything."

"Hey, you're allowed to be. I'm just glad that nothing bad was actually happening."

"It was a full-blown crisis. We didn't have ice cream." She stepped away, opening the bag and pulling out a carton of peanut butter flavored ice cream. "Thank you." He grinned as she pulled a spoon out from the drawer, settling on the couch and adjusting the pillow behind her.

"Better?"

"Much better."

--------------------------

"Who would've thought that being pregnant with twins would make me so much more exhausted," Amelia muttered, settling herself between Link's legs, leaning her weight against his chest. He locked his hands under her bump, his thumb caressing the bottom of her swollen stomach. "My back hurts so much." He moved his hands to her shoulders, massaging the tension she was holding. "Mm, thank you."

"You know, if you spent less time on your feet," he muttered, kissing her neck.

"I need to work. The odds are that I'll be bedridden before they're born, and it'll take me even longer to recover. If I stop working now, I'll go insane."

"I know, but this is different than your last pregnancy. Carina said we wanna get the twins to at least 32 weeks." Amelia sighed, leaning her head back on his shoulder.

"That's another month," she groaned, rolling her head to the side. "I can't not work for the next month, Link."

"I just think you should cut back a bit. I will too in solidarity if you want."

--------------------------

"Amelia, go to sleep," Link groaned into his pillow, having been woken up by his girlfriend's shifting around.

"I can't get comfortable. My stupid bump keeps getting in the way." He reached his hand out in the dark, searching for her. His hand rested on her knee.

"What're you worried about?" Her face softened at his ability to sense her nerves, and Link sat up and turned on the bedside lamp.

"I don't know how I'm going to handle two newborns," she confessed, her fingers drumming on top of her bump. "Whenever Scout would get super upset, it was just so overwhelming. And having two newborns? There are going to be so many meltdowns, all of the time." He moved his hand up to wrap around the side of her head, his fingers playing with strands of her hair as he pushed her head down to rest against his shoulder.

"Well, this time, we don't have three other kids to look at. And, we're not in a global pandemic where no one can come to help or visit us, so I think it will be easier in some ways." Amelia exhaled heavily, scooching closer to his body. "Plus, I kinda know what I'm doing this time, so I won't be as useless."

"You weren't useless," she laughed, finally cracking a smile. "You did your best, and once you found what worked, you stuck with it. And now you're a kick-ass dad." Link hummed and pulled the comforter up.

"This kick-ass dad thinks that this kick-ass mom," he poked her shoulder, "needs to get some sleep. Because otherwise, those two babies are gonna kick your ass tomorrow." He grinned at his joke, reaching over to turn the lamp off.

"I'm not tired," she groaned, laying down with him.

"At least close your eyes and try to sleep." Link placed his arm over her body, his hand settling on top of her stomach. "Goodnight, Amelia. I love you," he whispered, kissing the back of her head.

"Night," Amelia muttered sleepily, intertwining her hand with Link's before quickly falling asleep.

"And someone said they weren't tired."

--------------------------

"I don't think I can stand up," Amelia groaned, rocking back and forth in the fancy rocking chair she and Link had purchased. He looked up at her and smiled, looking back down at the pile of wood and screws below him. "You're sure you don't want help?"

"You just said you can't get up; I don't think you would be much help here."

"I meant calling Winston or something. You've been at this for an hour, and you have a whole other crib to put together." Link shrugged, flipping the instruction page. Amelia locked her hands under her baby bump, leaning into the soft cushion of the chair. "We're gonna have to move to a bigger house someday. They can't share a room forever."

"We've got a few years, at least," he muttered, standing up the frame he finished. "Okay, give me a list of everything we need to do before the babies get here." Amelia sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and thinking.

"Finish the cribs, wash all of their clothes, put everything away, and get the hospital bag ready."

"Cribs will be done in an hour; I've got the hang of this now." She grinned, digging her feet into the fuzzy carpet on the floor. "And, we can do the laundry tomorrow as well as the bag."

"What did I do to deserve you?" Link laughed, shaking his head in amusement.

"Made me the happiest man alive," he answered honestly, setting down the screwdriver beside his legs. "Now, can you kick that piece of wood towards me?"

--------------------------

"And, after twenty-seven hours of labor," Link brushed his hand through his hair, "we have two healthy, perfect little babies." Maggie stood up and clapped her hands, wrapping her arms around Link.

"Oh, I'm so happy!" She squealed, stepping back to let Meredith hug him. "When can we see them?"

"In a little bit. Amelia's completely passed out, for a good reason," he laughed, rubbing under his eye. "And Hayes took them to do all of their newborn tests. But, I have plenty of pictures." He pulled out his phone and handed it to the women in front of him, watching as they cooed over the baby pictures.

"A boy and a girl," Meredith grinned, passing the phone to Maggie. "They're adorable."

"Do they have names?" He shook his head.

"We talked a little before they were born, but just as I was about to bring it up, Amelia fell asleep, so it'll have to wait a few hours."

--------------------------

"Look who's awake," Link whispered, running his hand over his girlfriend's hair. "How're you feeling?"

"I feel fine, just the general pain of pushing two babies out of my vagina." She grinned. "Where are my babies?"

"Meredith and Maggie are with them on the peds floor so that you could sleep a little longer. Twenty-seven hours of labor is no joke," he took her hand, watching her eyelids struggle to remain open. "I'm exhausted. And, I wasn't the one pushing out babies."

"I'm just glad you were here this time," she mumbled, shifting to lay on her side. "It was much better having you here."

"I'm glad I was too," he kissed her hand before dropping it and pulling out his phone. "I'll get them to bring the babies back down." He sent a quick text, looking back to see her eyes closing. "Amelia?"

"I'm awake," she groaned, sitting up in the hospital bed. The door was pushed open a minute later, and Meredith and Maggie walked through with the twins in their arms.

"Hey, mommy," Meredith whispered, placing her niece into Amelia's arms. "You made some pretty adorable babies." The neurosurgeon grinned, brushing her finger over her daughter's cheek as Link took their son, lightly bouncing up and down. "Are they worth the twenty-seven hours of labor? That sounds like torture." Amelia shrugged, not taking her eyes off the baby in her arms.

"Absolutely worth it. Although, I don't know if I've got more in me for another baby," she joked, removing the pink cap to reveal a head full of thin blonde hair on their daughter's head.

"They're not even three hours old, and you're already thinking about the next one?" Link questioned in disbelief, moving to stand next to the bed. "I think these two and Scout will have us in over our heads."

"I'll come over and cuddle them whenever you want," Maggie smiled, watching Link sit next to Amelia on the bed. "But, I'm sure that you guys will kill it."

"Maybe that's not the phrase we should use when talking about taking care of babies," Meredith muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. "But, Maggie's right. You two are the most competent parents I know. Managed to not screw my kids up too badly, so obviously, you're doing something right." Amelia looked up and beamed widely.

"We'll still take all of the help you offer. Even kick-ass parents need a break," she whispered, bringing her daughter up to kiss her forehead. "How did our lives get so perfect?"

"I have no idea," Link muttered. "Absolutely no idea."

[official-weasley]

The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 5, Ch. 7

PART 5: THE YEAR WHEN EVERYONE FIGHTS Chapter 7 - The Forbidden Feeling

Nova

I was in the Hospital Wing for a week. My back was still aching, that Bludger hit me hard and I was so mad at myself for not noticing it.

I was in so much pain because of the hit. But nothing hurt more than knowing that Charlie didn't visit me once. Tulip, Tonks, and Penny were with me as much as they could be even though I couldn't shake the feeling that they were mad at me. It was nice of Murphy to come and check on me a few times but I didn't think anything of it as my whole Quidditch Team did the same.

Even Bill came to see me one day even though it was the most awkward situation I have ever had with anyone. I tried asking him about Charlie but bit my tongue at the last second.

I completely understood Charlie not visiting me. At this point, even I was mad at myself. I just don't know what got over me. I got so angry with him because of what I have been doing this whole time. I felt so conflicted. I was looking at him, being angry with me and all I wanted to do was hug him and stop the fight. But I felt too guilty to admit what I have done.

It was bad enough that I had a fight with Penny just the day before and on the same spot too. But when he said that we drifted apart and that he understands, I felt as if he was giving up on us, even though I knew it was my fault. He meant the world to me and just a thought of him not being in my life, made me cry.

What I hated the most was the fact that he was trying every day to talk to me and I didn't want to hear him out. I was making both of our lives hell and I felt horrible for it. I don't even know why I was so selfish. Something just snapped in me and it was as if I couldn't let it go.

The day of my release from the Hospital Wing finally arrived. Tulip, Tonks, and Penny helped me up to the Ravenclaw Tower, but we walked in silence and an uncomfortable one at that. I felt the tension between us and it was time to settle things.

It was enough that one friend was mad at me and it just kept getting worse and I got a feeling that I might lose everybody if I don't snap out of it and confront my guilt.

“Is everything okay?” I asked while we were walking.

��Mhm.” Tonks said through her lips, Penny and Tulip just nodded.

“Okay, stop.” I stopped walking. “What is going on?” I needed some answers.

“You're rude and selfish, that's what's going on.” Tonks frowned at me.

“Tonks, stop.” Penny grabbed her hand.

“No, Penny. Let her speak.” I said. “I can feel something is not right and I want to know what I did to you.”

“To us? You know what, Penny was right when she said you are oblivious!” I have never seen Tonks so mad.

“We're mad at you because of Charlie.” Tulip explained calmly.

“Oh.” Was all I managed to say. I didn't expect that answer.

“You're breaking his heart by being stubborn, Nova! He feels so bad about whatever he said to you that made you so upset!” Tonks barked at me.

Penny started to speak, as I looked at her. “We ran into him, Jae, and Bill at the Quidditch Match and we sat together.” She winced, thinking I was going to be angry about them watching the game together. I wasn't. I didn't mean our fight to affect our friends and their relationships as well.

“That's nice.” I said in a really low voice, wishing I could be there too.

“Yeah, it was! He's a wreck because of you! He only said those things because he was hurt! You were spending more time with everyone else than him and he was mad that you couldn't take a day to be with him.” Tonks' hair was changing color every other second, that's how mad she was.

“I know.” I lowered my head. “It's all my fault.” I felt tears burning my eyes. I had a reason why I snapped at him the way that I did and why I held such a grudge and it was time to admit to myself what I did and tell them everything.

“Hey, it's okay.” Penny and Tulip grabbed me by the arms and helped me to the nearest bench. My back was still sore and I couldn't really stand up straight quite yet.

“No, it's not, Penny. I'm a terrible person. I didn't tell you why I did what I did. I didn't even want to admit it to myself.” I burst out crying.

“Blimey, Nova. What did you do?” Tonks' voice calmed down once she saw how bad I felt.

“I wanted to get closer to Murphy, get to know him better, explore my feelings and I saw him look at me during lunch and classes. Even once in the Common Room. But whenever he saw Charlie with me, he looked away and didn't look back.” A new set of tears started running down my face.

“I didn't want him to think that Charlie and I were together or something, because I know we can be affectionate sometimes so I tried to distance myself from him. Be around other friends so that Murphy would see that nothing is going on between us.”

Penny handed me a tissue. Tulip was squeezing my shoulder. Tonks was frowning and I knew that she will get even madder at what I'm about to say.

“I was only going to do it for a month or so, so I could see if Charlie was the reason for Murphy not talking to me and I thought since we were both so busy with studying and Quidditch that he might not notice.” I hiccuped.

“So you used him to experiment with your stupid crush!” Tonks scoffed.

“Shhh, let her finish.” Penny calmed her down.

“Murphy and I started hanging out more and more but before I realized that it wasn't because we fancied each other but because I didn't have any of you to hang out as I distanced myself from everyone, it was too late and our fight happened.” I looked at Penny.

“And then when I tried to spend a day with Charlie he threw Murphy at my face and it made me mad because I felt so guilty and I wanted to defend myself. It came out wrong and I felt like the biggest piece of rubbish! Every time Charlie tried to apologize I ignored him as I thought he was better off without such a terrible friend who would trade him for a stupid crush!” I blew my nose, tears still running down my cheeks.

“I completely ignored the fact that I was hurting his feelings in return and now it came so far, that he didn't even come to see me at the Hospital Wing.” I sobbed.

“What are you talking about?” Tulip asked. I lifted my head and they all looked at me, confused.

“Nova, Charlie came to see you every day, but Murphy was always by your side so he left before even getting to you.” Penny said, gently.

“He came to see me? But...but I thought he was mad at me.” I wiped my eyes.

“He is but that didn't stop him from trying every day to catch you alone.” Tulip explained. I felt even worse now. I didn't deserve a friend like him.

“You should have seen his face when that Bludger hit you in the back. I thought he was going to jump down the stands just to see if you were okay and he rushed to the Hospital Wing immediately.” Penny had tears in her eyes which made everything 10 times worse.

“What have I done! He will never forgive me, I don't deserve it!” I felt pain in my chest. The realization of just how much I hurt him pained me so much.

“You got one thing right.” Said Tonks. “You don't deserve it. But Charlie is too good and he will forgive you anyway.” She glared at me. I understood she was upset, she had all the right to be.

“Nova, it's okay to have a crush but there is no need to abandon your friends because of it.” Penny placed her hand in mine.

“Boys are replaceable, friends are forever.” Tulip said, giving me a faint smile.

“You know Nova, if a boy can't accept who you are friends with, perhaps he is not the right for you.” Tonks frowned.

“You're right.” I nodded. “The thing is, it's not Murphy's fault. He's really nice and sweet. I just overthought everything. I don't even think he was bothered that I was friends with Charlie. Everyone knows we are best friends. I only have myself to blame.”

“Then go and fix it.” Tonks stretched out her hand to help me get up. “Go find your best friend and tell him what an arse you are!” She yelled after me as I hurried down the corridor to the best of my ability.

“And you better beg for his forgiveness!” Added Tulip.

“Hug him tightly!” I heard Penny say as I disappeared around the corner. I have to find Charlie immediately.

I looked everywhere. I was in the Great Hall, the Owlery, the Library. I even went down to Hagrid's and the Hospital Wing in case he didn't know I was released. I went to the Lake and the Quidditch Pitch. I couldn't find him. My back was killing me as I was walking back to the Castle but I didn't care. I entered my dormitory, defeated.

“So, did you find him? Did you talk to him?” Tulip stood up at once.

“No.” I barely whispered. I looked at her, tears started gathering in my eyes again. “I couldn't find him.” She got off her bed and hugged me. I didn't deserve it. None of it and none of my friends, being so forgiving. I changed my clothes and sat down next to the window. Tulip sat down next to me.

“I looked everywhere, Tulip. Everywhere. I can't find him.” I wiped my eyes with the ends of my sleeves.

“Charlie.” Tulip said, looking through the window.

“Yes, Charlie.” I was confused as if she didn't know who I was searching for all day long.

“No, look! Charlie!” She grabbed my head and turned it to look through the window and pointed to the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

There he was, that fiery head, my best friend. Or at least, I hope he still was. I got up at once. I knew it was now or never. He was alone and I was prepared to take the consequences. Even though I wasn't sure I could take it if he won't forgive me.

“Are you going to be okay to walk there alone?” Tulip asked concerned.

“I don't care about myself right now, Tulip. Charlie is more important.” I put on my jacket and before you know it I was rushing through the corridors and down towards Hagrid's hut.

“Charlie!” I shouted into the Forest, not caring if anything hears me or not.

“Charlie, where are you?” I shouted again. I knew he couldn't have gone in that deep not to hear me.

“Charlie, I know you're in here. I saw you through the window. Please come out. I'm sorry!” My voice gave up on me as I tried straining as much as possible so he could hear me.

“I'm so so sorry.” I almost whispered. I heard something crack on the ground and when I looked up, Charlie was standing in front of me. Merlin, I missed his freckled face! The look in his eyes pained me. I couldn't believe I hurt him so much.

“You got released.” He said, his voice emotionless. I nodded.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. After all, I put him through he was asking about me?

“It doesn't matter how my back feels. It is nothing compared to how bad I feel for hurting you.” Tears blurred my vision.

“I am so sorry Charlie, I am a terrible friend.” I tried looking into his eyes. “It wasn't fair what I did to you.” I broke down completely, tears running down my face. He didn't move but I saw a tear running down his cheek and it broke my heart. I wanted to hug him so badly but I wasn't sure how he would react to it.

I told him everything. I told him how I found out about my crush on Murphy, how I thought he might like me if I distance myself from him, how I ignored him on purpose and lied to him and how I felt so bad about our fight that I thought he was better off without me. I knew it was a bad idea. I knew he would only get madder at me and probably never speak to me again, but after all I put him through, he deserved the truth.

I avoided his eyes the whole time I was talking. I couldn't bear looking at him, I couldn't stand to see the pain on his face, knowing I was the reason for it. When I was done, I locked my eyes with his and he carefully took one step towards me.

“Please, say something, Charlie. Yell at me all you want, fight with me! Just say something.” I pleaded.

“I don't want to fight anymore.” Something broke in me when I heard his voice crack. I didn't want him to cry. I didn't want to be the person who makes him cry. That one tear down his cheek was enough.

“I am sorry I snapped at you.” He said after clearing his throat. “I was hurt and I missed you and I wanted you to feel bad about it.” He admitted.

“You had all the right to be mad at me, Charlie.” I looked at him and I have never wanted to hug him more in my life.

“I got jealous of Murphy because I saw how much time you were spending with him and I felt like I was losing you.” He continued. “I used the wrong words when I said we were drifting apart. I couldn't understand why you wanted to spend so much time with him but I understand now. You fancy him, it's only reasonable.”

“No, it's not!” I raised my voice. “I didn't take your feelings into consideration when I decided to distance myself from you. I forgot that our friendship means the same to you as it does to me and I was only thinking of myself.” I wiped my cheeks.

“I understand.” He said, calmly. “I just couldn't get over it. And when I rushed to the Hospital Wing and saw Murphy holding your hand, I remembered how I did that every time you were down when your dad died and I suddenly felt so useless. I know it's not my place once you have a boyfriend, that is no longer my responsibility, but that doesn't mean I didn't wish to be by your side.” I felt a piece of me die with his every word.

“He is not my boyfriend.” I was so focused on him that I didn't even care when he mentioned Murphy holding my hand. A month ago I would have jumped for joy but nothing mattered more than getting my best friend back, even if it meant being single forever.

I saw something shine in his eyes as I said it and I took a step towards him.

“I wasn't even aware he was holding my hand. When I woke up all I wanted to do was to make up with you.” I reached for his hand and when he grabbed it I pulled him into a hug and I felt like never letting go of him again.

“How could you think, after all we have been through, that Murphy would replace you?” I asked. I couldn't imagine my life without Charlie. “Tulip was right.”

“Hmm?” He hummed, still holding me.

“She said that boys are replaceable but friends are forever.” I hugged him tighter.

“Please promise me, you will never, for one second think, that I would replace you with anybody.” I felt his head move as he nodded.

“There is not a person in the world that could take your place, Charlie Weasley.” I pulled away just enough to meet his eyes. “You are irreplaceable to me and I am sorry what I had to put you through to see that.” I brushed his cheek where the tear, now dry, fell before and placed a gentle kiss on the spot.

I never noticed just how soft his skin was. I didn't know what made me do it. We were affectionate but I never kissed him before. It felt so natural. I felt something move in me but I wasn't quite sure what it was. My heart was beating more than ever before and I felt the heat on my cheeks. That was the first time I kissed a boy. Even though it was just on the cheek.

I gently pulled away and looked at him. His eyes were still closed and he was blushing too. If I knew we were alright, I would've chuckled.

“Charlie?” I said gently. “Are we okay?” He opened his eyes and smiled. I realized just how much I missed that cute grin, the one that created dimples in his cheeks and made his freckles move.

“We will be as long as you promise me never to fight with me again and always tell me when you have a crush so that I know what is going on. You know I am not good at noticing these things.” I chuckled. He really wasn't and neither was I as needed ages to even find out who I fancied.

“I promise. But don't you worry, I am never going after a boy again.” I smiled and I meant every word. Nobody was worth losing Charlie for.

He cupped my face and brushed my cheeks with his fingers, wiping the last traces of my tears and pulled me into the tightest hug he has ever given me and I wished we could stay embraced like that forever.

[ballerinaroy]

no other way pt IV

pt I // pt II // pt III

“Come on,” Ginny urged. “It’s New Years, you deserve a night away.”

“That’s not going to work again,” Ron told her in a final tone. “You got me at Christmas, didn’t you?”

Ginny sighed, but didn’t point out that he’d only stayed an hour. Instead she looked pleadingly to Harry. At least he seemed to understand, not pushing and instead withdrew a bottle of champagne from within his bag. He raised an eyebrow at Ron.

“Alright,” Ron agreed, “But we’ll have to be quick.”

“You do remember your sister at her birthday, don’t you?” Harry teased and Ginny flushed, but didn’t try and correct him.

Ron let out a laugh, it felt good, even if Hermione wasn’t there to share it. Into salvaged tea cups three drinks were poured, the bottle hidden should they be interrupted and they cheersed one another.

“To the New Year,” Ron said. “May it be a better one than this.”

“To 2000!” Ginny said. “And to the muggle’s notion that the world is going to end.”

“To Hermione,” Harry finished, the thought on all their minds. They all looked over, and she remained as still as ever.

Most of her scaring he hadn’t been privy too, but now it was only her chest that was wrapped so tightly. Her right arm left to breathe. Not that it didn’t show the signs of her attack. But the scaring there was fading, white already in places. The kind of bravery badges she would live with. She had to live.

“To Hermione,” they echoed, clinking their tea cups together and drinking healthy portions of their drinks.

Drinks were refilled and the three settled down into their regular seats. Ron was grateful for the company, though he knew they wouldn’t stay all night. Not that he blamed them. They deserved to celebrate like normal twenty year olds.

“What did the Healer have to say?” Harry asked as though he wasn’t there every day.

“Nothing new,” Ron said, shaking his head. “They say that the skin graft on her abdomen isn’t taking as fast as they’d like, but she hasn’t rejected it. We’ll know more in a few days.”

“And her kidneys?” Ginny asked.

“Just had a bad day,” Ron said, glancing over at Hermione and taking her hand. “Nothing since.”

Weeks now spent waiting. Treatment after treatment with the healers to repair the damages. Potions, so many it made his head positively spin trying to keep track of them all. He knew when Hermione woke she would have question and he’d be damned if he didn’t know the answers to them.

“You two don’t have to stay,” Ron told them. “I’m sure you’ve got a dozen parties to get to.”

“Twenty six to be exact,” Harry said, sounding already exhausted at the prospect. “The balls on these people, I don’t even have twenty six friends.”

“That’s just because you’ve got good taste.” Ron said, puffing his chest. “Cream of the crop we are.”

Harry snorted as Ginny checked her watch.

“Are you sure we can’t keep you company?” Ginny asked. “Honestly, they’re just parties.”

“Go on, I’ll be fine,” Ron told them. “Just, leave the bottle, will you?”

“Just you and me,” Ron said, dragging his chair around so it faced Hermione. “You did tell me last year that the parties were pretty worthless and we could have more fun staying in. Didn’t think this was how you’d win that argument.”

Ron chuckled at his own joke, sitting down and propping up his feet.

“Though, after Ginny’s birthday I think we might have fulfilled our quota for disastrous nights for the year. Not to mention Dean’s.” Ron cringed at the memory. “My sister might actually have a problem around champagne.”

He glanced at Hermione and could picture her displeased look perfectly even as she opened her mouth to argue about the double standard of men getting plastered and no one saying a word.

“Ah, well, she’s Harry’s problem now, isn’t she?” Ron said and mused. “Their wedding is going to be a fun one. Who knows, maybe we can even convince you to get in on the excitement.”

Again he let out a little laugh, wishing he could witness her lips twitch as they always did when he was teasing her. When they didn’t, he sighed, settling back into his chair and taking another drink. It was a cruel joke. She was right here, right beside him. He could stare into her features as much as he liked and yet she wasn’t Hermione.

“Miss you,” he said before he could sensor himself. “Miss you so much, Hermione.”

                     It was one of those restless hospital nights that nothing could hold his attention.The wireless was too upbeat, and too often reminding him of what he was missing out on with their dedications of this one goes out to all the love birds or to all the sweethearts or congratulations to-

“We get it,” Ron mumbled, shutting the thing off. “Everyone is happy and in love.”

It wasn’t even the point of the holiday. It was supposed to be about fresh starts, new beginnings, wasn’t it?

He’d tried reading his novel, filling out paperwork but not even flipping through quidditch weekly could hold his attention. Still, he’d gotten lost enough in thought that when noises echoed from down the hall it took a moment to orient himself. Then the street echoed the cheers and he realized, with a twisting feeling that midnight had come.

He tried to compose his face though there was no one there to see it and stood up, smiling for Hermione.

“Happy New Year!” he said brightly and from down the hall, Auld Lang Syne echoed from a wireless. He bent down, pressing his lips to her forehead, wishing, for the thousandth time that he might find life in her eyes. “Happy New Year, Hermione.”

And then, incredibly, he felt her hand twitch in his. Ron glanced down at her fingers. Had it just been a figment of his imagination? A wish he’d been making for days?

“Hermione?”

She answered with the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, a long, low moan of pain.

“Hermione!” he said, unable to process what he was seeing. All those days and night spent waiting for this very moment and now that it was here- “Hold on, let me grab a healer.”

She grunted at him, and he rushed to the doorway, “Hello! Help! I need someone in here!”

He didn’t wait for a reply, rushing back to her bedside and taking her hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m here, I’m here Hermione.”

There was a flurry of moment as others rushed into the room but Ron refused to be displaced, holding her hand as tenderly as he could and watching, with amazement, as the body that had been still for months began to show life. Her eyes fluttering open and shut, her hands twitching, coughs echoing from her lungs.

The healers were saying all sorts of things, running spells all

Hermione’s eyes opened and she scanned the room worriedly until, at last, they landed on him. Her lips twitched upward as her mouth sounded his name. Ron.

“I’m here,” he told her, his voice cracking with relief and he pushed past the person separating them, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I’m here, Hermione.”

Her eyes darted around again, and he could see the question in her eyes.

“There was an accident, at work. You’ve been out of it, God Hermione it’s been a minute but it’s okay, I’m here.”

The hand that he’d refused to let go of twitched in his, a squeeze and he laughed again. “Oh, Hermione. I love you.”

She closed her eyes, tears squeezing out the sides and he pressed his forehead to hers, his own tears of relief mixing with hers. He had never felt joy as he did in that moment.

“I love you,” he whispered again, “I love you.”

Send me a prompt!

[simpinforu]

Second Chances (pt. 1?)

song - falling by harry styles

warning: s m u t, angst, flashbacks

trigger warning: attempted s*icide, mentions of r*pe

---

im in my bed, and you're not here

and there's no one to blame

but the drink in my wandering hands

the early morning sun was barely breaking through the curtains when you did it for the first time. it had been three months since your now ex-boyfriend rafael had left for oakland. maybe it was all your fault that you couldn't handle the distance. it had worked before but this time was different. this time you actually needed him around.

as you finished off every drop of that glass of whiskey, your sense of worth significantly dropped in your eyes and all that was left was the guilt of what you had done before. your vision blurred and you let yourself slide down the curtains.

"why, why is this happening to me? why not anyone else? what did i do to deserve this?" those questions and more ran through your mind as your whole world went black.

forget what i said, it's not what i meant

and i can't take it back

i can't unpack the baggage you left

"i wonder who she's doing," rafa said, looking from the clipboard on his lap.

"i'm sure she's fine, raf. you're getting yourself worked up again. plus, she's the one that broke things off."

"yeah, i know, that doesn't mean i can't think about her, diggs." he got off his chair and walked over to the cameraman.

rafa looked at the last shot and nodded. did he need you? hell yes. was the distance too much for him too? probably, but that didn't stop him from wanting you. your beautiful eyes that shimmered in the sunset when you guys would walk down the beach together, how your face would light up whenever mía jumped into bed with you guys in the morning. in your words, "she wanted a little bit of you too". and most of all, he wanted the feeling of your skin under his fingertips again.

what am i now? what am i now?

what if i'm someone i don't want around?

i'm falling again, i'm falling again, i'm falling

your hands tangled in rafa's hair as he left soft, tender kisses on your inner thighs. he smiled into the skin and looked up at you, his blue eyed gaze locking with yours. "you're perfect, you know that?"

i chuckled softly and bent my legs, spreading them further apart. "look in a mirror, chum."

rafa rolled his eyes and made contact with your clit. your back arched under his sloppy tongue work. "a-ah rafael, i'm not going to last long."

"and that's totally okay with me," he unhooked one of his hands from around your leg and started teasing your entrance with them. "but i get to taste you when you do."

"alright, deal." you moaned again as two of his fingers entered you.

what if i'm down, what if i'm out?

what if i'm someone you won't talk about?

i'm falling again, i'm falling again, i'm falling

the only sound in your hospital room was the buzzing of the lights in the ceiling. no one was here, holding your hand, telling you that everything was going to be okay. reality had hit you like a train.

"hey."

you turned. standing in the doorway was one of your friends that you didn't remember the name of.

"how are you holding up?"

you didn't want to say it out loud, but you were kind of disappointed that it didn't work. that one of your friends had found you before it was too late. "fine."

"you know, you could've just held on for a little bit longer. maybe that one guy would actually come forward."

by that one guy, she meant the guy who had come onto me at her own party. "stop..."

"you tired to kill yourself, there was people there, they know what happened."

"stop it!" your pleas were getting louder by the second.

and i get the feeling that you'll never need me again

from down the hall, rafa could hear your pleas, which only made him speed his pace up. once he reached the doorway, he could see why you were yelling. "get out, alex, i mean it!"

"what, i didn't do--"

"get out!" he watched as alex grabbed her bag and rushed out.

as soon as she was gone, rafa dropped his stuff and embraced you tightly. "i'm sorry, raf."

"why're you sorry?" his hand stroked your hair.

you scooted over, letting him sit down next to you. "i told you i'd stay strong. for you, for everyone, but i couldn't..."

your face buried itself in his shirt. "hey, it's okay..you're strong, even if it doesn't seem like it."

what am i now? what am i now?

what if you're someone i just want around

i'm falling again, i'm falling again, i'm falling

raf's hand reached over and wiped the small tears that were now falling down your face. "yep. you're one of the strongest people i've met, love."

the way he said love made your heart flutter. he smiled. "you have proven that even in the darkest hour, you can survive the rain and grow into the most beautiful flower."

"oh, stop over-philosophizing." you slapped his arm playfully.

"nah, it's just common sense now." you both laughed.

his hand played with your fingers, sending shivers up your arm. "do you think that...we could give this a second chance?"

you thought a moment before nodding. "i'd like that."

"and this time, you're coming to oakland with me."

what if i'm down, what if i'm out?

what if i'm someone you won't talk about?

i'm falling again, i'm falling again, i'm falling

rafa took your hand over the table and gave you a small, warm smile to match yours. "i'm glad we took a second chance."

you leaned down and kissed his knuckles. his other hand touched your knee and rubbed circles in it. "me too, raf."

across the room, daveed's mouth hung open in surprise, not knowing that you guys were back together. little did you know that you guys would be getting a lot more looks like that in the next couple of years.

[honeyedhoseok]

Hanami Pt. 3 | The V2 Series

Genre | angst, The V2 Series, taehyung x reader, friends->lovers->friends (?)

Word Count | 5.1K

Warnings | Language. Alcohol consumption. Lots of pining / Taehyung and Y/N just not vibing well or being on the same level at the same time :/

Summary | While trying to have a good time downtown with their friends, Taehyung and Y/N are still struggling to work through how they feel about each other.

A/N | After a long wait, here’s part 3! This story is absolutely starting to kick me in the ass, so I’m very glad I finally got this out. Lemme know what you think!! :)

Read the rest of The V2 Series HERE!

Downtown is alive with the air of celebration and lightened with the relieved stress of the weekend—people float in and out of clubs and bars, taking advantage of the plentiful food carts and drink stands still left over from that afternoon’s Hanami festivities. 

You are among the crowds, yet somehow still on the outside of your own group. You aren’t having the best time, but it’s no one’s fault but your own—you could put everything in your head aside and just enjoy the company of your best friends like you so desperately wanted to, but sadly, fate didn’t work in your favor like that. 

Instead, you stand to the side in one of your favorite bars, clutching a drink bought for you graciously by Hyejin. Following your line of sight and pressing the stiff buttons on an old, rickety jukebox in the corner, is Taehyung. Unbeknownst to him, you’ve been unable to take your eyes off of him for some time now—whether you have the alcohol to thank for that or just your jumbled mess of feelings, you’ll never know. 

Somewhere, stewing in the back of your fucked-up brain, you’re still thinking of the last time you two were downtown. Just a few short months ago, you were hand in hand with Taehyung, dragging him down the same cobblestone streets you two had just walked on a few minutes ago, giggling with elation, sharing a drink at this very bar, arguing, and then fucking in Taehyung’s car. 

You can’t help but compare those times to now—where Taehyung doesn’t even give you a lasting glance as you sidle up beside him at the jukebox, doing your absolute best to make every movement, every decision of your own look as casual as possible. 

“Anything good up there?” you ask. 

His focus slowly slides to yours as he flips through a few more songs. “Just that one Strokes song everyone knows,” he answers, pushing the big ‘Select’ button with his thumb. 

The beginning bass notes of “Reptilia” play through the loudspeakers in every corner of the room. A few people nod their head in recognition, and when the guitars kick in, you think you see a ghost of a smile flash across Taehyung’s face again. 

I said, “Please don’t slow me down 

If I’m going too fast” 

You decide to go out on a limb and try to rope Taehyung in with nostalgia. 

“You know we danced to this song in my room one time,” you say, grinning. “You remember that?”

“I do,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans and flicking his fringe out of his eyes. “We skipped school and had to jump the fence to your neighbors house—”

“And I thought I was going to have to take you to the hospital for a rabies treatment, because her dog bit you!” you say, laughing loudly. “Oh my god. That was such a weird day.”

“And it was your second time smoking,” Taehyung adds in, looking more excited as the memories come back to him rapidly, “and you made me basically sit outside your room so that the smell wouldn’t stay inside—”

“—but it definitely still smelled like it—”

“And you were gone off of one hit!” he says, laughing loudly. “And then you put this Strokes album on your record player and started dancing around your room—”

“You danced too!” you exclaim, wagging a finger at him. “Don’t forget that, and then we ended up out of breath on the bed—”

Your sentence falls flat as you realize where this story leads: you and Taehyung fooling around for one of the first times when you were both teenagers. Taehyung realizes this too, because the elation in his face drains immediately, the corners of his mouth drooping into a makeshift frown. 

“Yeah, well. That was a long time ago,” is all he says, before looking over your shoulder at Jungkook walking toward the two of you. 

Jungkook slings his arm around Taehyung, not even sparing you a glance. “What are you doing, dude?” 

You remember the look they shared on the porch and realize suddenly that it’s going to be harder to talk to Taehyung alone than you’d originally thought—even wasted, Jungkook was on a mission to keep the two of you away from each other at every chance he could get. You wonder if the two had concocted this plan before the night began. 

The Strokes song on the jukebox nears the end, picking up speed. 

The room is on fire

As she’s fixing her hair

“You sound so angry

Just calm down, you found me”

Your mind lingers on the previous conversation—oh, how times had changed. 

“Trying to find something good on this piece of shit,” Taehyung answers, gesturing to the jukebox before wrapping an arm around Jungkook’s waist. He’s leaning heavily on his slightly shorter friend, and Taehyung grimaces a little as he readjusts the weight on his upper body. “How much have you had, man?”

“Enough,” Jungkook slurs, giving him a lazy grin. “I’m fucking done for—you want a shot? I’m buying.”

“Actually,” you say, holding up a finger in thought. “I’m buying. Be right back.”

You set the now-empty drink cup in your hand down, swaying a little at the quick turn you do on your heel to head towards the bar. If you weren’t careful, you were going to be like Jungkook shortly, and then Taehyung definitely wouldn’t want to talk to you. On the other hand, the more drinks you had, the less likely you were to let Taehyung’s cold demeanor ruin your night and hurt your feelings—it was a Catch-22. 

“Three Purple Gatorades, please,” you say to the bartender, sliding her your card.

You spare a glance over your shoulder, looking for any signs of Yeonwoo and Hyejin, but they’d disappeared downstairs to the dance floor as soon as the five of you had stepped foot over the threshold. 

Jungkook and Taehyung are now huddled in the corner by the jukebox, and Jungkook’s eyebrows are creased from whatever information Taehyung was in the middle of telling him. Irritation flares at the sight, making you purse your lips—why did it seem like they were definitely  in on this whole thing together? Why couldn’t Jungkook just mind his business and go downstairs with Yeonwoo?

You grab your drinks and your card, heading back over to where they are.

“Three of the best drinks this place offers, courtesy of moi,” you say with a grin before handing Jungkook one. “Right, Taehyung?”

“They are good,” he muses. “But I think I’m done drinking.”

Your face falls flat. “Seriously? I just bought this for you.”

“Sorry,” he says, shrugging. 

“I’ll take it,” Jungkook pipes up, throwing his first drink back and offering to switch his empty cup for the full one in your left hand. “Give it here.”

“Fat chance!” you say, rolling your eyes. “My money, my alcohol poisoning.”

“Hey, I gave you plenty of shots of my gin at the house,” Jungkook protests, pouting. 

You swallow the first drink. “Gimme an hour or so,” you say, before downing the second one that Taehyung rejected. “You can have it all back—probably on your shoes.”

Jungkook recoils in disgust and Taehyung rolls his eyes at your behavior. It makes your blood boil. 

“When did you turn into such a fucking downer?” you snarl at him, taking all three empty cups in your hands. “It’s starting to get on my nerves.”

“I’m not a downer,” Taehyung says at your back as you walk away. “I’m just not—”

You whip around on your heel in time to see Jungkook shush Taehyung with a sloppy finger to his mouth, which Taehyung pushes away in disgust.

“Calm down there, knife-tongue,” Jungkook says, giggling very unlike himself at his own joke. “You’re coming in too hot tonight, dude. You’ve gotta slow down—”

“No, let him finish,” you say, face warming with embarrassment. “What else are you going to say tonight to hurt my feelings, Taehyung?”

Taehyung shakes his head, dismissing you with a half-assed wave of his hand. The gesture is so unlike him that your mouth drops open in shock. Jungkook looks uncomfortably between the two of you, unsure of what to do anymore—so you turn on your heel, walking away and fighting the urge to go back and slug Taehyung with the clenched fist at your side. 

You spend the next hour or so of the night avoiding Taehyung and Jungkook—partly because you’re sick and tired of Taehyung’s sour puss attitude, but mostly because you have two more drinks at the bar and the sweat the alcohol out on the dance floor with Hyejin and Yeonwoo. 

Taehyung keeps watch over Jungkook at the pool table during this time, letting his eyes wander every once in a while over the crowded room. He keeps expecting you to return to him at some point—you were never one to let his moods really bother you, mostly because you knew how to break through them—but much to his surprise, you don’t. 

He hadn’t really meant to hurt your feelings as bad as he did earlier, it’s just that you were trying too hard and in turn, making it hard for him to keep up his anger as a walled defense. Of course, this time apart had been hard for him, too. He’d been putting all of his effort into his relationship with Yeseul, but even he could admit it was more of a distraction than anything. A way to redirect the anger and betrayal he felt because of you into love and affection for someone else—someone he felt actually deserved the effort he was capable of. 

The word rebound teeters on the edge of Taehyung’s thoughts, putting a bitter flavor in his mouth akin to the taste of the whiskey mixed drink Jungkook had forced in his hand earlier, and he swallows it down along with the rest of his mixed feelings. 

 “Your turn,” Jungkook says, breaking Taehyung out of his reverie with a nudge with the end of his pool stick. 

Taehyung takes it out of his hand, focusing on the game long enough to hit a striped thirteen into the right corner pocket effortlessly. Jungkook tuts in annoyance. 

“I’m literally try-harding over here and I’m still losing,” he grunts. “What the fuck.”

“You’re a lot less sober than I am,” Taehyung reminds him with a grin, passing the pool stick back to him after missing his next shot. “Oh, and you suck.”

“Not as much as you do,” Jungkook replies, rolling his eyes. “Why’d you DD, man? You don’t even have work tomorrow.”

Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly, looking away from his friend so that the answer isn’t as telling on his face. “I just didn’t feel like drinking, I guess.”

“Bullshit,” Jungkook says almost immediately. “If you’re going to lie, do that shit to Y/N. Not me.”

Even though Taehyung won’t admit it, they both know why he chose not to drink—it was hard enough as it was to brush off your attempts at making nice with him. If he even teetered on the edge of getting tipsy, his facade was done for. 

“You’re going to forgive her at some point,” Jungkook adds. “I know you.”

Taehyung sighs, taking the pool stick out of his friend’s hand to line up his final shot at the eight-ball on the table. He squints, deciding on a whim within the seconds before cracking the white ball with the tip of his pool stick that if he makes this shot, he’ll forgive you. If he misses, he’ll hold onto this grudge a little longer, watch you squirm and tiptoe around him a little more, before he gives in. 

Of course, the black eight-ball goes straight into the left center pocket on the table without hesitation, and Taehyung sighs heavily in victory, hanging his head.

“Winner buys the loser a shot,” Jungkook says, grinning. “Them's the rules.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Since when!”

“Since I became your mediator for all this Y/N stuff—I’ve got to get something good out of this, come on!”

Taehyung supposed there was some truth to that statement. He had been relying heavily on Jungkook’s support and advice through this whole thing—but who else was he supposed to turn to? The one person he used to tell everything to was no longer there. 

 “Fine,” Taehyung says, leaning the pool stick up against the table. “Let’s go.”

As he slides the bartender his card—ordering Jungkook’s ridiculously pricey shot of whiskey—he tries not to think about just how flimsy his resolve against you is. 

How flimsy it’s been this whole time. 

After wasting some more time upstairs, Taehyung and Jungkook finally decide to retreat to the tables outside on the patio, enjoying the cool breeze that blows through the space and the gentle acoustic music from the live performer in the corner. The plucks of his guitar and low, soft voice are a relaxing break from the thumping bass just a few feet away on the dance floor. 

Jungkook slumps in a chair, digging around in his pockets hastily for what only can be a cigarette, Taehyung is sure. The action makes Taehyung miss his own form of stress relief, but when he thinks about Yeseul’s wrinkled nose at the sight of him puffing on a cigarillo, the thought disappears instantly. 

His affection for her had to mean something, right? He wasn’t purely in a relationship with her for the wrong reasons—he did actually like her. 

At the library, she was always an easy distraction, coming to ask Taehyung questions about his night or his weekend with friendly banter and a pretty smile. Before he finally told her yes—before the disaster scene in his bedroom that one fated weekend with you—Yeseul had tried to get him to come out with her numerous times before, but he’d always turned the idea down. It felt wrong to go by himself, and it felt even more wrong to bring you along if he did go. Somehow, he’d always wanted to keep the two of you separated from each other—now he was glad he had.

Jungkook breaks him out of his thoughts with an offer of his cigarette and Taehyung shakes his head. 

“You thinking about what you’re going to do about all of this?” Jungkook asks, looking pointedly at Taehyung through the cloud of haziness settling in the air between them.  

Taehyung karate chops the smoke out of the air, chewing the inside of his cheek as he buys himself some time. What was he going to do?

“Yeah,” he says finally, sighing. “I’m stuck, man.”

“Look at it like this—” Jungkook says, leaning forward in his chair. “Do you miss Y/N as a person, or do you miss the times you had together? Remember her ways and her selfishness and her flaws. Then remember the physical relationship you two had. Which one has more of a pull for you?”

Taehyung cuts his eyes to Jungkook—he really hated this subject, yet, he could never get away from it. 

“How come you’re suddenly sober when you need to be?” Taehyung mutters. “Go back to dry heaving over the pool table or something.”

“Oh I’m still fucked, believe me,” Jungkook says with a snicker. “My eyes are about three seconds from closing—I’m gonna fall asleep to this boring shit.” He gestures lazily to the performer in the corner still crooning and sucks his teeth in annoyance. “Where’s my girl when I need her?”

“Probably trying to tame Hyejin and Y/N,” Taehyung offers. 

“She’s pretty different than them, right?” Jungkook says, his tone unabashedly appreciative. “I like that.”

Taehyung is glad for the small change of subject. “We know,” he says, rolling his eyes. “You’ve said it enough.”

“No, seriously dude,” Jungkook says, taking a drag from his cigarette for so long that Taehyung is convinced he forgot what he was going to say. “Hear me out.”

“I’m listening?”

“Being with someone who seems like they were tailor-made for us is great, right? I know that’s how you feel about Y/N, because you guys are like two halves of the same whole, or whatever.”

Taehyung frowns at the analogy and Jungkook holds his hands up in defense, telling him to wait. 

“But,” he says, furrowing his brow, “what about falling for someone who is a little different than us? A little softer around the edges—one who suggests you not smoke and drink because they care for your well-being—and is just a good, gentle person to balance you out?”

Taehyung crosses his arms. “Obviously you think that’s Yeseul, right?”

“Yeseul for you, Yeonwoo for me,” Jungkook says, settling back into his chair. 

Taehyung hates how right he is, and wants nothing more than to lean across the table and slug him right in his perfectly squared jaw. 

“I just—” he lets the confession teeter on the edge of his tongue just as a bustling crowd of yelling, laughing girls comes stumbling from upstairs and onto the outside patio. 

The drinks in their hands slosh around at their feet on the cement, which they laugh harder at as they teeter in their heels. It's you, Yeonwoo, and Hyejin—Taehyung recognizes the sounds of your voices immediately—but he realizes quickly that the three of you have made some friends downstairs, and are all searching for a table to rest for a little while after all the dancing you’ve done.

“You just?” Jungkook prompts, following Taehyung’s gaze to the group of girls. “What?”

“Love her,” Taehyung admits glumly, standing up from his chair. He really, really, doesn’t want to talk about this anymore—especially not with you so close. “Come on, let’s make room.”

Jungkook clicks his tongue in judgement but does as his friend says, standing up and cupping his hands around his mouth to call out to Yeonwoo and wave them over. 

Taehyung watches you look around in confusion, but happiness settles quickly across your dazed features as you lock eyes with him and all but skip over to the table. He isn’t sure how much you’ve had since he saw you about an hour and a half ago, but he can quickly settle on the thought that it’s probably way past your usual limit. 

“Taehyunggggg,” you sing-song, throwing your arms around his waist. “I cut my foot dancing, want to see?”

He looks over at Jungkook for help but he’s got a giggling Yeonwoo wrapped up in his arms, whispering something (awful) in her ears, Taehyung is sure. 

Taehyung peels your arms from around his waist gently, though you still frown at the action. He’d just pissed you off not too long ago—where did your anger from before go?

“Let me see.”

You flop down in a chair a few feet away  like a marionette doll who’s strings have just been cut—he’s really starting to get worried about how much you’ve had—before you raise up your leg straight in the air, giving him a unabashed show of your lace panties from beneath the skirt you were wearing. 

Taehyung swallows quickly, grabbing your ankle and lowering your leg. “Y/N, stop.”

“Stop what?” you whine, and it sounds like you’re seconds away from crying. “I’m trying to show you I’m hurt.”

Taehyung can’t help but think you look incredibly cute—your hair messily thrown up in a bun from getting too hot from dancing, your makeup smudged a little around your eyes but still pretty nonetheless, your lower lip jutted out in a way that makes him want to fix everything wrong with the world just to see you grin again.

God damn it, he thinks. What’s wrong with me?

“I can see it without you doing gymnastics, okay?” Taehyung says lightly, trying not to laugh. “You rubbed a giant raw place on your foot from these small ass shoes! Are they even yours?”

“They’re Yeonwoo’s,” you say petulantly, looking down at the ground. “But they went really well with my outfit so I—”

Taehyung shakes his head, laughing a little. “Jesus. Can you still walk?”

“Of course I can,” you say, putting your foot back on the ground and standing up, closing a little bit of the distance between you and him. 

Taehyung realizes suddenly this is probably the closest you two have been to each other and the weakest his facade has been, in months. Looking at you gazing up at him with such hopefulness in his eyes has him feeling soft, feeling like he should maybe rest his hand on your neck and tilt your face up to his—

“Where are your cigars?” you say suddenly. “Give me one.”

Taehyung blinks at you. “I don’t have them anymore, remember? I—”

“I can do you one better!” Jungkook says suddenly, busting up your little moment and coming, somewhat, to Taehyung’s rescue. He digs around in his pockets until he comes up with his cigarette pack. “All nicotine—just what the drunk girl ordered.”

“I’m not drunk,” you state, but the glazed look in your eyes is much too telling for the statement to be even close to the truth. “And I don’t want those.”

“Suit yourself, princess,” Jungkook says. “Yeonwoo wants to know what you did with your ID—said something about you flicking it at the bartender’s face when they said you looked a little young?”

“Fuck,” you mutter, looking panicked. “I’ll be right back.”

When you leave, Jungkook quickly snaps his fingers in front of Taehyung’s face in succession, his face grim. “Get that lovesick look off of your face, idiot.”

“I’m not—”

“Shut up, I saw you,” Jungkook says, poking a finger to Taehyung’s chest. “You’re crumbling, man. Come on—just make it like thirty more minutes until we get everyone home and then you can simp by yourself.”

Taehyung smacks Jungkook’s finger away from him. “Fuck you.”

“You don’t have to be there to clean her up anymore, dude,” Jungkook says, sighing. “That’s what Yeonwoo is for—let her friends be there for her so you don’t have to.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything and instead, checks the time on his watch. It’s nearing closing time for the bar, so he and Jungkook work to gather everyone up and head back to the parking deck. Surprisingly, it’s a lot harder to corral drunk girls than he remembers; if he or Jungkook takes his eyes off one of you for longer than a second you’ll disappear faster than Taehyung’s moral—a dumb joke that Jungkook whispers to him while walking that he does not find funny in the least bit. 

“Wait, can we go to the river for just a second?” Hyejin says, turning around to face the boys with her hands clasped. “Please—then you can take us all home, I promise!”

Jungkook agrees grudgingly, and Taehyung is happy that he seems to have sobered up as quickly as he got drunk. Alcohol was a weird thing for this group—while you, one to normally hold all your liquor, were close to being blackout, Yeonwoo looked just slightly tipsy after drinking just as much, and Hyejin looked as though she could go for multiple more rounds. 

When Taehyung’s feet hit the cobblestone portion of downtown—he realizes with panic what is happening. 

Unbeknownst to them, Hyejin and Yeonwoo are leading the group to the exact same spot that he and you used as a getaway—it’s your favorite because you can see the boats coming in through the harbor, the lights of the bridge reflecting onto the murky water below and making its surface shimmer. He hopes with all his might that you are not thinking this as well—that your brain is too dizzy with alcohol to put two and two together. 

The last time you two were here, Taehyung kissed you in public, not caring who saw. He wanted to stop the tears that were flowing from your eyes, wanted to stop the hurt and the pain that Hongbin was putting you through—except now, the irony was all your pain was stemming from himself. 

No, not himself. From your actions that caused him to act the way he did. From your indecisiveness, from your selfishness, from your inability to choose what was good, better for you, even. 

The group fans out amongst the dock, leaning on the railing and looking down at the fish in the water or out in the distance at the lights of downtown. Taehyung feels slightly uneasy watching you lean over, but it’s only for a moment before he realizes what you’re doing.

“Y/N,” he says, rushing towards you just as you expel all of what’s on your stomach into the oxford blue water below you. 

“Aw, the fish!” Hyejin whines, and Jungkook cackles at her obliviousness of her friend getting sick beside her. “Y/N, what the fuck!”

Taehyung goes to put a hand on your back, to smooth your hair out of your face so you can finish, but he manages—unfortunately—to catch Jungkook’s stern gaze before he can do so. Jungkook gives him a curt shake of his head, followed by a pointed look at Yeonwoo.

Taehyung reluctantly steps back so she can replace him, giving the two of you some distance. He hates to see you like this—it was rare that this happened—but he hates even more that despite everything that was going on between you two, he still felt an extreme sense of responsibility and compassion to take care of you.

Taehyung’s phone buzzes in his pocket as a welcome distraction: a call from Yeseul that he answers without hesitation. 

“Hey,” he says breathlessly, “what’s up?”

Because he is so busy on the phone with his girlfriend, what he doesn’t see is you cleaning yourself up without him, turning around to look at him laugh on the phone without so much as a backward glance your way. He doesn’t see the hurt on your face, the way your mouth trembles with reluctance to say something, anything that would bring his attention back to you. 

He doesn’t see the way you put two and two together—not about the place you two were at, but at the thought that he took a phone call from Yeseul rather than tending to you, ultimately sealing the path that his heart was taking. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Yeonwoo asks. “Don’t cry.”

“I hate men,” you say, and your friends agree with you because they think this is about Hongbin, about something that happened before you all went out and was only coming to the surface now because you were wasted. 

“Capricorn men? Or just men in general?” Jungkook questions before he can stop himself, and when your deathly gaze falls on him he wishes he’d just shut his mouth. “Uh, sorry.”

“Taehyung, can you help us get her to the car?” Hyejin calls out. 

You snatch away from your friends, defiantly kicking off your shoes and picking them off the ground and into your arms as you stomp towards the parking deck. 

“I don’t need his help,” you growl. “Fuck him.”

When Taehyung sees you walking away without the rest of the group, he quickly wraps up his phone call, jogging back over to assess the damage. 

“What’s wrong with her?” he asks, looking at your squared, angry shoulders in the distance.

“I don’t know—she muttered something about hating Capricorns and stormed off,” Yeonwoo says, shrugging.

“Don’t worry about it, Taehyung,” Hyejin says, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Let’s just go get her—that’s not even the right parking deck she’s headed toward.”

Yeonwoo and Hyejin take off after you, leaving Jungkook and Taehyung standing on the dock. 

“Why didn’t you just let me help her?” Taehyung asks exasperatedly. “It wouldn’t have made that much of a difference!”

“You’re not allowed to do anything for her until you sort out your shit,” Jungkook says, crossing his arms. “Otherwise, she’s going to feel like she won, Taehyung. And you’re going to be right back where you fucking started.”

Taehyung stays silent, his jaw squared in annoyance. 

“She’s still with Hongbin, you know. Or did you forget that?”

“How could I forget?” Taehyung spits. 

“Then don’t forget that until she leaves him, she can’t be with you, either.”

The sting that Taehyung feels from that truth hurts, but isn’t entirely unwelcome. He knew it, he just didn’t like admitting it to himself; he certainly couldn’t make you leave Hongbin, and no matter what he did over the past couple of years to prove that he could be good for you, you couldn’t withdraw from the sense of comfort that Hongbin had embedded.

Sure, Taehyung didn’t have the best job, he didn’t come from a rich family and he didn’t have extremely nice things or nice clothes. But did that really make Hongbin the better choice than him? Couldn’t you see that he could treat you just as good—better, even? What was he going to have to do to get you to trust him?

“She’s gotta make the decision for herself, man,” Jungkook says, almost as if reading his friend’s mind. “And you do, too. You haven’t been giving Yeseul one hundred percent of yourself, and you know it. What if you did and it turned out to be better than you could imagine?”

Taehyung shakes his head defiantly. “Let’s just go, man. I need to get home.”

Jungkook sighs, knowing that once again, he hasn’t won this battle with Taehyung. But he hangs it up for now, stuffing his hand in his pockets and pulling out his cigarette pack.

“I’ve smoked more because of your demons than I have over my own,” he admits, giving Taehyung a shitty grin. “Got anything to say to my lungs?”

Taehyung hates that Jungkook pulls a chuckle from him just after busting his balls about you, but it’s nice to balance the mood. There was one good thing about this friendship: Jungkook didn’t dwell.

“Good riddance,” Taehyung responds playfully, laughing just before dodging Jungkook’s swift kick to the back of his leg.

It wasn’t like Taehyung didn’t know he had some things to figure out—some things he’d made harder for himself now, considering the fact that he’d thrown himself into another relationship to avoid dealing with his emotions about you—it was just that he didn’t know where to start. 

It would be easier to talk to you if things on your side were different. But how foolish would he look to confess his honest, true feelings to you knowing that you were still in a committed relationship with your boyfriend? And Taehyung didn’t want to convince you to leave Hongbin, he wanted you to decide it for yourself. 

And then maybe, just maybe, make your way back to him. 

[anjanettexcordonia]

Paradise Lost

Pt 3 of Ties That Bind

This is a repost. (The link was dead)

**Trigger Warnings**

DARK DARK DARK

-NSFW/Mental Health/Violence/Rape Minimal fluff if any at all tbh.

***If you are sensitive to any of these please do not read.

Pairing: None

Word Count: 2,583 (I struggled with this chapter. Not sure why.)

**READ WITH CAUTION**

Excuse any grammatical errors or misspellings.

This will be a six part series. I do not have a timeline for when I will post. (I’m a mom & work full time)

Disclaimer: Riley Brooks & Liam Rhys belong to Pixelberry. All other characters in this chapter are mine.

Thanks to @texaskitten30 for beta reading this chapter for me.

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If you would like to be tagged or removed from taglist please let me know.

@gkittylove99 @kingliam2019 @yourmajesty09 @cordonia-gothqueen @mom2000aggie @texaskitten30 @hopefulmoonobject

Katherine Riley Brooks Vanderbilt lived a life others would envy. Her family had been written about in American history for decades. She attended the best schools money could buy. Her family frequently vacationed all over the world. To the world Riley was an heiress that lived a life most would or could only dream of. But not all was as it seemed. The tabloids painted her family in a light that no one would even imagine the horrors that really took place behind the eight foot walls that hid their sprawling estates. Riley didn’t have an easy life. Money didn’t cushion the multiple gut wrenching blows she suffered from her tyrant father. Trust funds didn’t fill the hole left by her absent alcoholic mother. Sisterly bonds was a fantasy.

16 year old Riley

“Let’s go Mia. We have to get to the airport.” Riley was standing in her younger sister's dorm room waiting for her to pack her suitcases for their holiday trip with the rest of the Vanderbilt family. “I am. I am so excited to see Dad. I haven’t seen him in so long. Are you excited Kat?” “Um yea whatever Mia.” The sisters headed to the car waiting to take them to the private jet of one of their father's business partners. They arrived at the tarmac and realized they were no longer in the custody of their father's security detail. Riley knew this wasn’t going to be a run of the mill vacation.

It had been two years since the death of her mother. Two years of boarding school away from the horror of her father. Riley dreaded the holiday but was excited to see her younger brothers.

The jet finally touched down in Switzerland. Riley looked at her younger sister. Amelia still has the youthful twinkle in her eye as she looked out the cabin windows at the sparkling snow beneath them. Riley had lost the innocent twinkle. Maybe she never had it. She had been parentless as long as she could remember. Her father didn’t greet the sisters at the private airport. Nor did he greet them when they arrived at the estate they would be staying at. Instead a short plump woman with dark auburn hair and hazel met them at the estate.

“Katherine and Amelia, I presume?” The girls nodded their heads. “Very well, follow me and I’ll show you to your wing as per Sir Vanderbilts request.” They followed the woman, who never introduced herself, to their rooms. Opulence was something they were used to and it didn’t faze them at all. “Your father will be joining you Katherine in your room shortly to discuss a few matters at hand.”

“Katherine, it's nice to see you. And you look lovely in that dress my dear.” Riley’s father hissed as she walked into the sitting room of her suite. “Father” she nodded avoiding eye contact. He kept his eyes locked on her and her long, shimmering emerald dress. Her father always insisted they dress their best in his presence no matter the occasion. “Have a seat. We have much to discuss.” Riley seated herself across from at the small table. “I would like for you to join me on my hunt this weekend. It’s time I teach you all to be true Vanderbilts and how we maintain our power among the others in our world. Money does not equal power.”

“Power is forcefully taken, yes I know, Father.” Riley rolled her eyes. Suddenly Riley felt a force knock her out of her chair. She hit the marble floors beneath with her a force that knocked the wind out of her. “It will do you well to remember your place Katherine Riley Vanderbilt otherwise you will see what happens when someone disobeys me.” Riley felt the warm, copper taste of blood in her mouth. “I would say ask your mother,” a sinister smile emerging on his face, “but it seems you can not.” Riley stood and dabbed a napkin against the corner of her mouth, she smoothed her dress and took her place in front of her father. “There will be other friends in attendance as well on our hunt tomorrow. As I am sure you are aware, you will be in charge of keeping the other children on their best behavior.”

“Father, may I ask, what will be hunting tomorrow?”

“Who, Katherine, who?” Edward stood from the table, “I have spoken with the others. Amelia seems especially eager. Tomorrow will be momentous. Tomorrow will show me who will be the successor to Vanderbilt Enterprises.”

Riley didn’t sleep a wink that night. She had no idea her younger brothers, Neal and Eddie were there. She hadn’t seen them yet. It had been six months since she had seen them last.

The next morning, Riley woke and dressed in her riding gear and went down for breakfast. When she made it to the kitchen, she spotted her siblings and her father all having breakfast. Riley noted how unusual this was. “Riley!” Cornelius screamed and jumped from the table to hug her. “Hey Neal! How are you? You have grown so much since I saw you! How has school been?

“ENOUGH” Edward bellowed at the children. “Sit down both of you.” A flash of fear passed though Cornelius’s eyes and he went back to his seat. They finished their breakfast without so much as another word nor a glance at each other. “You’ve never taken us on a hunt before Father, what game may I ask will we be hunting today?” Amelia asked. “Today will be a turning point. It’s not about the game we hunt per say it’s about the power you hold over your prey. In this world only the strong prevail. Kill or be killed. Succeed or fail.” Edward said matter of factly. “You will do exactly as I say without showing weakness, now you all may follow me.”

The children all followed their father to the stables on the grounds. They each mounted their horses and trotted behind their father until they reached a large,log hunting cabin deep in the woods. The tree canopy was so thick sunlight barely reached them. Riley felt a cold shiver down her spine as they made their way into the cabin. It was nearly lunch, but the smell of cigars and scotch...and something else but Riley couldn’t place the odd smell, made her stomach turn.

“Eddie” a large overweight man clapped their father on the back. “I see you brought an audience,” the strange man smirked.

“It’s time to toughen them up. Show them how to be true Vanderbilts eh Brother?” Edward laughed, “meet your Uncle Astor Cornelius Vanderbilt Duke of Wellington kiddies. I think the youngest one here ought to call you Pop?” he winked. “You’re whore of mother sure did enjoy making you, boy.” Astor looked down at a 12 year old Cornelius. Eddie smirked, catching Riley’s eyes filled with tears threatening to break free. He fully intended to break her. If she were to inherit his fortune she would do it on her knees.

She looked more like her mother everyday. He hated her for it. He hated her mother. He hated himself. All he wanted was for her to love him. She could never love a man like him. So he forced her. He forced her until he took her life. He became the monster he was meant to be. And if he couldn’t make her like him he would do it to her daughter. His daughter. With her eyes.

“You will all do as I say, without defiance or face the consequences.” Edward warned. “Amelia, Edward you’re with me. The others are with Astor. Let’s go.” Each group went through a separate door that led to a flight of stairs descending downwards to a large basement. The basement looked similar to a hospital or a morgue. Medical utensils were placed by a row of three hospital gurneys. Large fluorescent lights made the room bright. Too bright. The first the sisters noticed when they entered the room was the row of three cages along the wall. Three naked women were gagged and bound in each cage. Riley looked at her sister. Amelia didn’t have fear in her eyes. She had excitement. Riley felt the hair on the back of her neck rise. “Have a seat,” Edward gestured towards some chairs near the cages,” you will observe and listen.” Edward pulled a set of keys from his jacket pocket and unlocked each cage door. He stripped his clothes bare and placed them in a laundry bag. The girls, surprised at their father's nakedness, averted their eyes unsure what to do. “Power is taken, not given. We take what we want and we end those that oppose us. We end those that would deny us what we seek, isn’t that right my daughters?” Edward asked as he pulled the first woman from her cage. She was a petite brunette woman that Riley didn’t recognize. “This woman disobeyed my direct orders so she will face my punishment.” He said firmly. He tied the woman to the gurney in the center of the room. Her wrists were tied tightly above her head and her ankles were tied to each corner of the bed. She was blindfolded and gagged. “Father, what are you doing?” Riley asked, horrified by what was happening in front of her. “I said not to speak, do you defy by direct command?” He glared at Riley. “Come here girl” he said between gritted teeth, “You will help me, you will get first hand experience.” Riley felt the anger boil in her veins. “What did she do to deserve such treatment?” She snarled. “Do as I say or you can replace this bitch on the table. Your sister there is practically giddy, but you hold resilience, that will end today. She will be your victim or you’ll be mine.” Edward spoke barely above a whisper. Evil poured through every orpheus of his body.

Riley knew it was her or him and she was too weak to do anything. There was no returning back. The innocence Riley had left was going to be extinguished. She would never be the same. She grabbed the scalpel from her father’s outstretched hand. Her hand shook uncontrollably as she gripped the scalpel in her sweating palm She closed her eyes. Turn it off Riley. You can’t feel or you won’t survive. Turn it off… She opened her eyes and looked at her father. Her eyes reflected his. She handed the scalpel back to him. “I do not need this.” She paced the instrument back on the sterilized tray. She climbed on to the gurney. She pulled the gag out of the woman’s mouth. “I want to hear you scream.” She said. Riley pulled the blindfold from the girl’s eyes. “I want you to look at me while your life drains from your body. From your eyes. From my life.” “No please stop.” The girl cried. Riley’s father stood astounded by her words. He recognized those words. But from where? “All I wanted was for you to love me, but no it was too much to ask.” Riley said. She slapped the girl across the face. She grabbed the girl with both hands on each side of her face and kissed her deeply. She pulled back and punched her in the jaw.

Slap. Punch. Hit.

The girl screamed in anguish. Blood covered her face and splattered all over Riley. Edward and Amelia moved closer and watched her awe as she beat the woman. Riley grabbed the scalpel and sliced the woman's breast as the woman screamed. You deserve to die. You disobeyed me. You fucked your way into my life. You fucked your way into my fortune. Riley screamed.

“Riley stop.” Edward yelled. Riley didn’t stop but looked back at her father. “Do you remember father? What you did to Mother? We’re not that much different after all.” Riley slit the woman's throat and watched the blood pour from her carotid artery. She stood up. Edward glared at his daughter. “How dare you threaten me? I grabbed Riley and threw her into the cage the woman Riley had murdered was previously. He locked the cage door. “You will watch. He pulled the other women out of their confines and strapped them to the other two gurneys. Come here Amelia, it's your turn. I hope you do not disappoint me.” “Yes, Father, I’m ready.” Amelia responded excitedly. Riley watched as her father and sister beat, berated and assaulted the women. She watched as they mutilated and destroyed their physical bodies. Hours later there was silence. Amelia and Edward were spent from the torture. Riley was horrified at what her sister was capable of. She was her father in every way. She was a skilled manipulator. She was a horrific and demented individual. “I have an idea Father, we should throw the bodies in the cell with Katherine for a while. Let her spend some time with our victims. One of them was her victim. Teach her lesson.” Riley spent three days with no food or water in a cell with three decomposing bodies. The smell encompassed her senses causing her to be sick. She knew she could never trust anyone again. Her own sister had turned against her. Become like her father. Maybe I am too. Maybe I am just evil. I. WILL. KILL. THEM. ALL. She wondered how her younger brothers were. If they were still alive.

10 Years Later

Riley had remembered the three days she spent with her first murder victim. She remembered the taste of revenge she had when she murdered her Uncle Astor. Her father was forced to retire into hiding. Her sister had been in a mental institution for a lengthy amount of time. Self admitted of course. She believed it protected her from her sister by living in the upscale mental facility. Riley’s brothers both survived the traumatic experience they had suffered a decade earlier with their Uncle Astor. Eddie had moved on with his life. He never spoke of what happened. He and Riley became estranged. Cornelius disappeared as soon as he was able. He has suffered severe post traumatic stress disorder and had turned to the underbelly of New York City for his coping mechanisms. Riley had been searching for him. She left her position as chairman of the board of directors of Vanderbilt International, after she superseceded her father after his abrupt retirement five years ago on Riley’s behest. Rather her force. She maintained 51% shareholder in the company which left her majority vote. With her company firmly intact and well maintained it left her the freedom to search for her youngest brother. She was ready to save her family and rebuild what bonds she had left. She had found a job as a bartender in a dive bar in the heart of the big apple. It opened up connections to the underworld of drugs, booze and crime. She was getting closer and closer to Neal’s whereabouts until one night. The night she met him. The night his ocean blue eyes met hers. The night she had found her match. The man that was her equal. The man that had faced the pain unlike any other. The man that would kill for her. The man that held equal power. She ran the world. He ran a country.

Her King. His Queen.

[hiirunakaarchive]

– to act in haste (2)

↳ in an alternate universe where mc landed the fellowship, but not in the way she wanted. (pt 1), (pt 3), (pt 4)

◇ pairing: ethan ramsey x mc (haruna sakurai)

◇ genre: angst, like totally angst. through and through. not a single sentence of redeeming fluff here im so sorry

◇ song rec: comme au premier jour – andré gagnon

◇ word count: 3.2k+ 

◇ tags: @aworldoffandoms​, @perriewinklenerdie​ (thank u so much for waiting)

◇ author’s note: hi all! it’s been a minute! the release of OH2 finally inspired me to continue the piece that i posted last april so after a week of writing and rewriting im finally satisfied enough to post the second part! (this series is literally my baby please dont let it flop). i decided that this story will be split into three parts so i strongly suggest reading pt1 linked above if you want to make any sense of this second part LOL. pls keep in mind that i wrote part one before OH1 finished so it’s not totally faithful to the original story and has my own little spin of drama and flair so like always, feedback is always appreciated!! ill shut up now, ENJOY!

prologue

Dr. Sakurai was his epitome of a dream. Temporary, fleeting bliss that left just as soon as it came.

The two months following their confrontation were painfully, excruciatingly silent. She avoided him like the plague and the circumstances failed to change during the nine weeks he spent in the Amazon. He departed with the intent of banishing her and whatever feelings that still lingered from his heart and mind, yet one look at her was all it took for his resolve to crack.

He still loved her.

arrival

The first night marking Dr. Ramsey’s arrival back in Boston, the view of the bustling city from his airplane window evoked a flurry of fond memories. He had missed the city more than he cared to admit, yet, he had come to hate it just the same.

As the plane landed and rolled against the tarmac, Ethan stared vacantly at the distant lights of the city and let his thoughts wander.

Has she been taking care of herself?

Is she still angry with me?

Does she look any different from when I last saw her?

He let out a huff of frustration and accepted the bitter truth. Two months of cowardice and deliberately running from the thought of her did nothing to ease the sting of reality amidst his return to America.

Leaning back against the headrest, he muttered. “I need a drink.”

The next two hours passed in a blur. The doctor disembarked the aircraft in a hurry and retrieved his luggage from the carousel just as quick. Amongst that and hopping into the first cab he could hail, Ethan was unsure whether his haste was just in desperation to get home and rest or to quench his thirst for the god damn drink that airplane liquor couldn’t satisfy. 

He stumbled into his apartment and let Jenner out of the carrier, the pet becoming nothing but an obscure whiz of fur as he zipped out of the cage to celebrate the comfort and familiarity of their home.

The kitchen was still pristine, though not without a bit of dust. Looming over the marble counters and to the dining table across the room, Ethan found himself reminiscing over the last meal he had here.  

“The fellowship. Why did I win?”

“Did you think it would make me happy?”

“Is that it, Ethan? Do you pity me?”

“Christ.” He cursed to himself, ripping open the cupboards.

A single bottle of red wine greeted him, still three quarters full and untouched since the last disastrous dinner he had with Dr. Sakurai. It seemed to splash delightfully against its bottle as the man rolled his eyes and filled the glass to the brim. Inhaling the aroma and swirling the liquid with a delicate motion of his wrist, he took a sip.

This tastes like shit.

Ethan poured the wine down the sink along with the remaining contents of the bottle, bidding goodbye to the last physical remnant of that tear-ridden night two months ago.

He still needed a damn drink though.

- 

The first step he took into Donahue’s was a hopeful one, and he cursed to himself in disappointment for knowing exactly what, or more specifically, who he was hoping to see.

He quickly scanned the booths and bar, failing in the search for that recognizable head of vibrant red and black. The only vibrance he was getting was from the familiar disco ball that loomed overhead, which made him squint in distaste. Taking a seat at the bar, a voice he could only recognize as Reggie’s called to him from behind the counter, his back to him.

“Welcome, I’ll be right with you.” He said, not bothering to turn around.

“I thought I told you to get rid of that god awful toy on the ceiling.”

Reggie’s head snapped up.

“Two months of disappearing off the face of the earth did nothing to fix that attitude of yours, Ramsey.” He smiled at his regular warmly before grabbing a bottle of scotch and pouring a glass.

Reggie slid it to him across the table.

“On me. Welcome back.”

Taking it gratefully, Ethan rose it to the bartender in a toast for his generosity.

“Thank you, Reg.” He said, stepping off the stool and making his way towards his favourite spot on the patio.

Midway through the exit, the doctor’s annoyance was already stirred by the booming voices and clinking of glass from an unknown group. They were counting down, and to what, exactly? He could not, for the life of him, be bothered.

And then he heard it.

“Midnight!”

Her voice.

“To kicking ass and running Edenbrook-“

Oh God, no.

“— as second-year residents!”

Ethan stopped fully in his tracks, and the eyes that solely wandered the deck in search of a free table landed on a picnic bench where five very familiar faces smiled and laughed.

Dr. Trinh, Dr. Greene, Dr. Lahela—

He exhaled in relief as he spotted Dr. Varma.

So they’ve gone back to being friends.

And smack in the middle, Dr. Sakurai.

Haruna Sakurai.

Fairy lights that illuminated the patio in protest to the evening were strung between poles and trees erected around the terrace. Yet amongst it all, Dr. Ramsey still found her to be shining the brightest. She still had that proper and dignified air about her, and the man was relieved to see that she had begun to smile again, albeit not as merrily as she used too. He could tell that in the several months they haven’t spoken to each other that she was no longer the same wide-eyed, inquisitive doctor she once was.

I solved the case!

I figured out a way to help some people who really deserve it. It’s a good feeling.

What it means to be a doctor? It means fighting the inevitable.

During Dr. Sakurai’s first year at Edenbrook, she had admitted to Dr. Ramsey that she regarded him as her reckoning. Perhaps that was what pushed her to try harder. 

“Yeah, you were definitely an asshole, but it was less you that I was scared of, and more ‘This asshole is my greatest inspiration and I can’t disappoint him’.” She rambled on their stroll back to the hospital from Derry Roasters.

He chuckled fondly as he continued to look straight ahead, the corners of his mouth curving up in a ghost of a smile.

“You could never disappoint me.”

She had learned and grown, and Dr. Ramsey was there to witness every budding moment of it. It was then that he realized that she was the one to be reckoned with.

A few tables from Edenbrook’s newest residents, he spotted the bar where he could enjoy his drink alone and in peace. He looked away from the joyous bunch and started towards the empty stools, but not without inevitably passing by the group first. Dr. Greene spotted him, his eyes lighting up in recognition and Ethan sighed in abandonment of any hope of getting to the other side of the beer garden unbothered.

“Speaking of the diagnostics team...” Elijah whispered audibly.

As the others in the group indulged in their gossip about Ethan’s heroic medical mission across the continent, Sakurai tensed visibly. He stopped in front of their table and for the first time in a very long time, she willed herself to look up and make her eyes meet his.

“Rookie...” Ethan greeted her coolly as he broke the silence.

Haruna’s jaw clenched and he questioned his audacity at still daring to call her by her nickname. Perhaps they were both thinking the same thing. How could they address each other– no, even look at each other, knowing that they were going to work together again? Above it all, how could Dr. Sakurai come to the hospital everyday; constantly, ceaselessly interacting with the living reminder that her position on the diagnostics team wasn’t even rightfully hers? 

They left things on a horrifically bitter and awkward note, and Haruna’s eyes darted between her friends across the table, begging to be bailed out.

Dr. Trinh shifted uncomfortably, Dr. Lahela took a flippant sip of his beer as he eyed Haruna protectively, and Dr. Varma glared at the attending with eyes ablaze. Dr. Greene seemed to be the only one unbothered by Ethan’s presence.

Haruna breathed in once before plastering on a fake smile.

“It’s good to have you back, Dr. Ramsey.” 

The fake sentiment wrenched at his chest, the gaze that once beamed at him with stars and everything bright now replaced with something hollow and resentful. He was careless enough to let the turmoil show on his face momentarily before collecting himself.

“Yeah... good to be back,” Was all he could muster.

Sensing the tension between himself and the five young doctors, Ethan nodded his head once before continuing to the main bar.

“Doctors. Enjoy your night.”

Sakurai’s eyes lingered on him as he walked away, and the holes he felt being burned into his back vanished once he took his very distant seat at the bar. Her friends continued on with their idle chitchat, and Ethan found himself listening intuitively. No amount of distance he placed between himself and that rambunctious group could keep him from overhearing bits and pieces of their conversation.

They cackled and toasted some more, and the strangers around them, be it alone or with company, indulged in their own private celebrations as well. Yet despite the boisterous nature of his surroundings, all he could hear was her.

“I’m a colossal pain in the ass! I don’t want to be responsible for another me!”

And he couldn’t help but laugh.

present

Since that fateful evening two weeks ago, Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Sakurai assumed their normal routine, save for the scowl she tried to hide every time she saw him. Despite the circumstances, he kept a close eye on her as she eased into her place on the diagnostics team, having succeeded in charming Baz with her amiable personality, and June as they made small talk in regards to their common cultural heritage. Sakurai remained quiet and unassuming during her first few days, but she had proven herself to be a quick learner.

“Female, thirty seven, Caucasian.” Ethan began as everyone took their seats.

He uncapped a black marker, scribbling across the board and throwing out answers before the other three had a chance to ask. This was their regular pace, which by now, Dr. Sakurai had grown accustomed to. She certainly looked less bewildered than she did her first day there. 

“Reason for admission was pain and numbness in the extremities. Former doctors thought it was...a stroke.” Ethan grimaced and Dr. Mirani snorted.

“What turned up in her bloodwork?” Dr. Hirata asked as she shook her head ruefully. “Did she have a urinalysis done?”

The three experienced doctors proceeded with their swift exchange of ideas, their discussion riddled with numerous ifs, buts, and whys. Dr. Sakurai listened intently and remained silent with her eyes glued to her notebook, almost so silent that Ethan almost questioned if she was even wholly present. 

“Negative for multiple sclerosis, but just before she was discharged presented with irritable bowel syndrome.” He continued.

“Could it be fibromyalgia then?” Dr. Sakurai finally suggested, looking up from paper ridden with chicken scratch notes scrawled in red pen.

Baz and June raised their eyebrows in delighted surprise. “Seconded,” and Ethan regarded his protege collectedly.

“I thought so as well. Excellent work, Dr. Sakurai.” To which she merely nodded in response.

Later that day, Ethan found himself strolling down the halls of Edenbrook in Dr. Baz Mirani’s company. He chatted endlessly, recalling the meeting from earlier that morning and shifted the topic of conversation to Dr. Sakurai. Ethan was never one to entertain idle gossip, but when it came to her, he couldn’t bring himself to not listen.

“Did you know that her red hair was a mistake?” Baz cackled.

“She told me that she accidentally booked her hair appointment two hours after her board and came in sleep deprived. Knocked out as she soon as she sat in that chair and woke up with Flaming Cheetos for a head!” The doctor brought a hand up to his chest to ease himself as he laughed. 

Ethan stayed silent as his colleague relayed her story. Of course he knew. He knew that she hated her red hair with every fibre of her being, but still complimented the stylist’s work and tipped her generously. He knew that as soon as she got home, she locked herself in her room and cried while trying to convince herself that her new look was symbolic of her “badass-ness.” He knew that she spent the next year using aloe vera in a desperate attempt to grow it out before applying for residency. How could he forget?

“You know, I wasn’t sure what to think of her at first, knowing the whole deal about how she got into the team and all.” Baz conceded and the guilt resurfaced, threatening to swallow Ethan whole.

“Baz, if you’re going to-”

“But she’s really good. Shows a lot of promise. I understand why you did what you did, but I’d be lying if I said I completely agreed with your poor execution.” He finished, shrugging indifferently.

“Ahem.” 

A woman’s voice behind them cleared her throat and Baz’s eyes widened in horror as he shot Ethan a quick glance, both men knowing just who exactly had requested their attention. They turned around, and Mirani greeted her with an almost suspicious grade of enthusiasm.

"Dr. Sakurai! You see, this- what I was saying to Eth- no, Dr. Ramsey is that-”

She smiled at him, unbothered.

“You forgot your pager again,” She teased, handing it to him gently before heading the other direction with not another word.

Ethan’s gaze followed her retreating form, pain stricken. He was almost jealous of Baz, even just for a moment. When was the last time Haruna had caught him in a moment of blundering and regarded him lovingly nonetheless? He failed to recall the last time that she flashed him the smile that no one else could bring to her face but him. The kind where the corners of her eyes crinkled and she had to bury her face in her hands because she was too embarrassed to show that face out in the open. It was one of the many things that made him fall in love with her, and continue to love her all the same.

He missed her. More than he could have ever imagined possible.

Dr. Mirani exhaled in relief as she left. “Well! That could have gone a lot worse than I- Dr. Ramsey?”

And, before he realized where his feet had begun to take him, he went after her. He couldn’t let things continue like this. He couldn’t stand it.

“Wait, Rookie-” 

The large strides that Ethan took to catch up to Dr. Sakurai in the empty hall were not many. Her steps were small but filled with purpose, and her heels that clacked mercilessly against the slate floor stopped abruptly. She turned to face him, and the second Haruna’s eyes met his, he was only reminded of the newfound hatred ulcerating at her very core. 

She raised an eyebrow. “Not a rookie anymore, Doctor.”

The lack of emotion in Dr. Sakurai’s voice as she addressed the man stung. He should be used to this. He should have foreseen this. But one year of knowing and loving her could never have prepared Ethan for her villainously petty demeanor finally directed at him. Two weeks since she said his name in a voice dripping with venom, and she hasn’t dared to utter it since.

Always, “Yes, Doctor,” or, “Noted, Doctor.” It was driving him insane.

“Dr. Ramsey.” He attempted, his tone dribbling with an impatience he didn’t realize had been brewing.

“Doctor.” She challenged.

He looked at her, a muscle in his jaw twitching in annoyance. She looked at him, arms crossed and adamant on winning whatever contest it was that they had engaged in. And they stayed like that, for several seconds until a group of interns passing by and regarding them with curiosity forced them to look away. Dr. Sakurai closed her eyes and exhaled once, gathering herself before maneuvering her way around the older doctor.

“Excuse me.” 

He watched her as she side-stepped him, about to continue her journey to her destination if he didn’t gently take her by the wrist and pull her into the medicine supply room. The very same one they hid in when they still kept Naveen a secret.

“W-What are you– Don’t fucking touch me.” Dr. Sakurai hissed once they had entered, jerking her hand from his grip.

“Are you going to be like this every time you see me?” Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose and looked up to the ceiling.  

“If we’re being honest? Yeah, yeah I am.”

“I meant it when I said I was sorry.”

“And I meant it when I said sorry wasn’t good enough.” 

“Look at yourself, Sakurai.” Ethan scoffed.

“Petty like a child. Did you think your official status as a resident would suffice in masking this juvenile drivel or should I just throw you back in with this year’s batch of interns?”

Haruna stared at him blankly, and just for a moment he felt his chest tighten. Her resentful gaze made him miss the way they once were, and he ached for her to look at him the way she used to, but Ethan’s lamenting was cut short as Sakurai’s mouth twitched. A failed attempt to contain herself before she burst into bitter laughter.

“You can do that, can’t you?” She asked disdainfully.

“Give one of them my position while you’re at it. The same way you gave it to me.”

He took a step toward her and she stayed put, refusing to be intimidated by the man that stood just over six inches taller. Then they were achingly close, the distance between them so small that her shoes were flush against his own. So small that Haruna couldn’t help but inhale the scent of musk and Italian cypress from his cologne. Ethan looked down at her angrily and the younger woman looked back up at him with a fire just as intense.

“You might hate the means of how you got here, Dr. Sakurai, but the deed is done. There’s nothing you can do to change it so I strongly suggest getting over your vendetta against me and doing what you’re supposed to do.”

“Yeah? And what might that be?” 

“Your damn job, for one!”

She finally stepped back, struck, and looked at him as if she was seeking clarification.

“My job? My job?!” She asked angrily, her voice raised in a crescendo.

Her jaw hung open as she stared at the floor in disbelief, scoffing as she processed Ethan’s last statement. The second seemed to last far too long before Haruna finally met his gaze. Her lip quivered as she shot him a look of pure, utter disgust.

“I took you for many things, but a hypocrite was never one of them.” She spat and Ethan felt his glare soften in realization.

You came here to fix things, and now look at what you’ve done.

“Rookie-” He began, his tone considerably weaker.

“Don’t. You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore. I’ll see you on the floor, Dr. Ramsey.” 

She left, and any hidden meanings to whatever relationship they had departed with her. He was no longer an Ethan Ramsey to her, and she was no longer a Haruna Sakurai to him.

She was just a resident. He was just her boss. And this unpalatable truth broke him.