#I was gonna add text but my handwriting sucks….

[cr00ley]

Day 2. OTP

I ofc had to do stucky for today (I’m a little over deadline but oh well) I’ve been consuming so much stucky content it was about time I gave some back😽😽

[cerealmonster15]

hi. i posted my fankids earlier so now welcome to cereals caterella multiverse chart kjlfdsjklfjs click for better view but also my handwriting sucks and i made this in like 2022ish in the privacy of discord dms so ill do my BEST to retype all the words and explain under the cut as much as i can/remember LET'S GOOOO

god where to even start. hi. ummm ok so caterella, for general context, is something i'd see around occasionally in people's fanarts/theories/aus/etc of cater being in a cinderella role, i think inspired by him talking about how he has 2 older sisters that are kinda bossy.

over time i went into the madness. and i cannot commit to one idea so i just have Several and this was my attempt to "organize" lol. cater is the protagonist in all of them, and not everyone is a love interest, it all DEPENDS!

oh i also wrote in the bottom right corner: * they can all be in standard au [i think i meant like, canon compliant lol] but some are specifically here w/one specific story involved (????) (IDK LOL)

let's start with... [im gonna rewrite the text but also add bits for context lol]

"That Guy" Trey:

unassuming love interest

usually not actually a prince [some of these aus are actual royalty aus i guess lol]

"bake :) or bff" <- i think i was trying to say he's a baker and if he's not a love interest he might just be in there as cater's supportive bestie.

line to cater: either bff -> lovers or baker for a red herring prince surprise romance [??? girl help decoding my phrasing here is gonna be so hard]

underneath i wrote (or secret prince?) but i dont think i ever explored that possibility lol

i always have to explain why i keep calling trey "that guy" lol. it's cuz in the original jpn twst, during the scalding sands visit event, when cater was announcing he invited trey to come, the fan translation said cater was saying something like "and who's caykuns mystery guest? it's THAT GUY!" and then trey appeared or something lfdskf i dont remember exactly but i know he was called That Guy and so my friend and i were calling trey That Guy for sooooo long.

ok so i think what i was trying to say for the most part is that trey is a friends to lovers surprise love interest in scenarios where the main plot makes you THINK the love interest is a fancy prince, hence the "red herring prince" comments. i have a google doc that mentions this that ill copy/paste after i get through each person's general primer but for now let's move on!

"Hornton" Malleus:

he is lost + confused

secret prince

✨mystery✨

another green guy

line drawn to cater: prince not invited to leona's party, solidarity w/cay?

^another storyline i get into in the google doc lol. i think this one is specifically an actual not nrc AU where cater is trying to go to a prince's ball and leona's the one throwing the ball lol. we'll get to that!

i dont talk about it here but i also had an au based off a song i listen to [tir a nog i think?] where malleus is a fae prince from an enchanted forest and cater's sick of his everyday working life and wants to run off to a fanciful land, meets malleus, malleus wants cater to runaway with him back to his fanciful forest and BE HIS BETROTHED or whatever lol. i have a few doodles of it somewhere and i still think about it sometimes

the really long outer squiggle line is drawn between malleus and leona on the chart and just says GRRR lol, they have beef which we will GET TO LATER and i mean also canon beef lol. u already know that.

"Fairy Godmother" Lilia:

cryptic support to mal and cay

knows things but will withhold lore for a more interesting story

mentor to malleus

basically like regular lilia lol hes a bestie and a mentor and a wingman depending on the situation. i think in the cater going to the ball au in one instance he is more of a literal fairy godmother support, other aus he is more figurative lol like the supportive bestie!!

[im going in mostly clockwise order but i def wrote these out of order when i made it so thats why the numbers are off LOL] [i skipped idia but i put him in way later/last so ill get back to him sdfjklds]

"...Fairy Godmother 3" Azul:

contract wishes

😒

line to cater: hires @ mostro lounge to fund the 'date vil' campaign which leads to [jade route]

i go more into this in the google doc also but i actually made a post about that one ill link it in a sec foooorrr.....

"Mushroom Man" Jade:

not a prince

standard universe

secret, unexpected love interest

line to cater: bonding while working together; the vil goal is slowly forgotten in favor of new bond with jade (alt angst if cay still goes for vil)

ummm teehee. i go way more into detail in THIS POST HERE where i doodled the concept out and talk about it more

"Shitty Banana Prince" Leona [SORRY FSKLJDFJDSKLFJ]:

red herring prince [as in hes usually not actually a love interest but is there to make you think he is but it's actually someone else's route]

sometimes just here to be divorced to someone when it's funny [i think im talking about vil and malleus mostly here lol]

the banana thing is bc how in twst canon, grim calls savanaclaw "bananaclaw" once and after that my friend and i have forever called them the banana boys ksdlfjdls it has nothing to do w/the aus

anyway the line from cater to leona: forbidden crush on prince he doesn't actually know, leading to another route (usually trey)

other line: alt: DIVORCE(lol) <- i didnt elaborate here but i have to assume i was talking about the concept idea i wrote in THIS POST about cater/leona being bitter exes/having had a summer fling making things awkward in book 2....

i have since started liking leona/cater a little less ironically lately [tbh i dont think it was ever ironic i was just in denial lol] so um. id probably have mentioned it here if i made this chart later l o l

oh also the line between him and vil: also sometimes divorced ♥

ok moving on for now!!!!!!

"✨Sparkling Prince✨" Vil:

standard prince/love interest

sometimes a red herring in other routes

other times more of a supporting pal w/connections

exes w/leona when it's funny

cater -> vil: fanboy crush ♥

vil -> cater: slow, tsundere crush lol

rook & vil: "lol do u like him?" + ♥ <- ill explain in rooks section hang on lol

once again stay tuned for the google doc shit vil comes up there too lol dsjklfjdslf im so glad i found that doc before i started this bc i forgot about a lot of it. ANYWAY

"Fairy Godmother...2!" Rook:

line to cater: cryptic support

vil's pal, but his partner in non-vil routes

knows all. ALL.

:)

jskdljfdskl so ya rook is like #1 supporter in the cater/vil romance routes, but bc i love rook/vil also, in any cater/someone else routes, rook is probably dating vil instead/eventually lol bc i LOVE THEM SO MUCH anyway.

rook has so much lore but just like lilia hes weird about it. he cant just TELL YOU things outright. where's the mystique. come on now.

"Prince Charming" RSA OC... I have not named him yet <- I hadn't named him til after i made this chart but THIS IS CHAR!!!!

standard au

childhood au

potential red herring

char -> cater: had a crush on cater as children; thinks meeting again is fate

cater -> char: ??? were each others first kiss as kids, but what does it mean now 🤔 [i was being ambiguous on how cater feels about char lol. he may or may not return the feelings depending on the branch]

i go WAAAAAAAAY too deep into the au in THIS POST. Dañarte didn't exist yet when i made this chart so he originally wasnt involved but he sure as hell made his way into the narrative later lol.

i started writing actual story during nanowrimo but dear god it's such a task. idk if i will ever post that or if ill just forever do random lore/doodle posts, and i if i did start posting it, it would be a very casual multichapter sandbox zone for me lol. very messy soap opera energy. we'll see.

anyway i dont remember how much i mention it in the post but char was also i think potentially there to be a rival for other characters. like oh nooo prettyboy from rsa is here to sweep cater off his feet, u better act fast!!!!! jldkfjklsdjfkldsjf i love being corny. anyway moving on,

"Fairy Godmother 4" Kalim:

platonic prince pal [uhh idk if i meant that in some of the aus kalim is a prince, or if this was way back in the early days where i still had misunderstood kalims family and thought he was a prince lol]

connections and money

confused, but spirited

line to cater: bestie nooo don't text ur ex- <- i have a very specific memory of a doodle i did of cater, i think in pop music club, taking out his phone and going "im gonna text my ex" and kalim running for his phone going "BESTIE NOOOO" and i maybe was referencing a meme sorta??? or just a vibe idk. multi layered. anyway idr if i had a specific ex in mind here [it was maybe leona????? bc i DID write that alt:divorced thing for cater and leona.]

it ironically does fit in my char branch once i came up with the shit with dañarte as cater's ex lol but ik that's not what i meant here bc like i said, he didnt exist yet at this time!!!

ok much later i added in idia lol

"MARSHMALLOW fae prince eppa lol" Idia:

aw man i didnt write any notes here LOL but that's ok i know what this was about. this is also the forbidden marshmallow thing i mentioned on the fankids post earlier today sdkjfjdskl

anyway. i maybe mentioned it here once idr butttttt marshmallow eppa stuff. that's a lot of inside jokes my friend and i stacked over time

marshmallow: a few years ago i was drawing cater x various ships loosely for white day bc i didnt get a chance for valentines day or something? idia's thing was giving cater a marshmallow lol. so we have a lot of jokes about idia leaving anonymous marshmallows for cater and cater being like aw man i dont even like sweets. who is doing this to me kflsdfjsl

eppa. ummm. when i was trying to come up with char's name, one of the possibilities was eppa. but my friend came up w/the idea i think of idia having like a fake rsa prince persona that cater falls for, instead of char being a real guy [i split the aus instead lol] and that inspired me to write a little bit based on that idea. i explain it a bit and also posted the [unfinished] story chunks in THIS POST. it would eventually have a happy ending i just didnt intend to write the whole thing so it ends a bit awkwardly here LOL i only wrote a little bit

ok NOW i can talk about the other google docs. kdsjfkldsjkfl from 2 years ago.... ill copy paste exactly what i wrote [and only edit typos/autocorrects lol] and try to explain after if it's needed

[DOC START]

Something something cater wants to go to a party / ball / whatever held by Leona’s family or something. idk what type of universe this AU is exactly but shhh details whatever. It’s a fancy party with attractive people and cater wants magicam pics!!! Maybe also 2 find a prince to fill the lonely void in his heart lol, and Leona is the red herring prince that caters like “omg he’s dreamy maybe He’s The One”

Vil is there for some reason. Maybe he has an invitation as a celebrity guest and cater is begging him to let him in as a plus one? Vil says no and warns him not to try and get in bc guys like Leona suck anyway or something idk (blah blah leonavil divorce lol). Vil doesn’t even wanna go but he has to for his image , and tells cater it’s for his own good that he’s not taking him 🏃 

So caters pouty , and I think this could have different alternate routes. 

One route: he doesn’t find a way in but is curious anyway and finds himself going to the forest outside the venue and hears the jams and stuff, and he’s like “wow why am I so sad that I’d go skulk around the outside of a party I’m not even invited to” and he hears a Voice “you were not invited either, hmm?” And caters like AAAAAAA and it’s a mysterious tall horn man lol. Hornton tells cater that every year his invitation is claimed to have been “lost in the mail” but he’s pretty sure they just don’t send it bc he and the prince don’t get along.  Cater is about to ask how this guy knows the prince , but then the distant music gets all slow and sweet and the mysterious man asks cater to dance with him there in the forest ✨ 

Something something idk where it goes after that but eventually cater learns that guy is Also A Prince lol, his dream of finding prince charming fulfilled. Maybe sometime between meeting malleus and before the conclusion, lilia is the ~fairy godmother~ role of mysteriously befriending cater and being messenger between the two (thinkin about the role he plays in giving yuu that holiday card lol, stuff like that)

Another route: cay cay is sulking and goes to hang out with his good buddy pal kalim, who is this route’s ~fairy godmother~ bc when cater is all 😔 about the party, kalims like “oh! I’ll take you :) I was invited too!” And he buys cater a fun and fancy outfit to wear. 

But then ! Kalim learns that cater wants to go and meet prince Leona, and Kalim is 😬 bc Leona is. not the warmest guy in the world lol. But he doesn’t want to crush his friend’s dreams 🥺 so he has to think of a plan to get him off the Leona track!!! He goes to Jamil, who is like, idk his chef or whatever, bc Jamil knows Leona’s chefs too bc Kalim and Leona’s families know each other and go to each other’s events and hold joint events idk whatever blah blah lol

Anyway point is Jamil knows trey , I don’t know how that really helps anything tho LOL. I think Kalim is like “Jamil help me !! We gotta find other people for cater to talk to at the party so he doesn’t meet Leona and get his heart broken!!!” And jamils like “why does he wanna meet Leona. ew.” And kalims like idk bestie 😖

Anyway. They get to the party and Kalim is trying to introduce cater to every friend/acquaintance he has. Vil spawns a few times and is like cater 😒 I warned u not to come 😒 and caters like 😤 you’re not the boss of me vil!!! 

Cater also gets kinda drained from the tons and tons of people he and Kalim are meeting and chatting with. Jamil is lurking and watching like 👀 🤔 and goes to cater and offers to let him come rest a moment in the kitchen staff room and hide from the bustle of the party. Cater is flustered that Jamil could see he was feeling tired lol, but agrees anyway. 

They go and that’s where he meets TREY, who is there taking a break and idk just made tea that he offers Jamil and cater. They sit and chat a few minutes before Jamil makes a convenient excuse to leave the room and “check on something” aka just leave those 2 alone to bond lol. 

Something something they bond really well and dance together in the kitchen break room or whatever idk lol, cater gives trey his number, so operation distract cater from Leona is a success yaaaaaaay 

Maybe another secret route with vil, like surprise he’s trying to keep cater from Leona not only bc Leona Sucks but also bc he likes cater lol 🤫 

Not related to caterella at all really but too bad close enough it goes in the doc. 

Based off the Japanese version (🥲 eng twst whyyy lol) of that one story between cater and vil where cater says he thought about dating him / vil says dating him would be Expensive lol, au where caters like ok fine challenge accepted, cay cay finds a JOB and ends up… resorting to…. Getting a job at mostro lounge 🤧 to fund his date with vil one day lol. He probs bickers with the fish but also is maybe decent at it bc he’s a chatty boy so he’s like , a fun cute waiter people like having lol, and he’s used to having to work with riddle and the crazy queen rules so like, yeah I don’t think he’d LIKE the job but I think he’d survive, while also complaining to trey and riddle about it who are like “you willingly chose to do this” lol. Anyway plot twist vil was another red herring bc this was secretly a cater/Jade story all along WAHAHA. Idk just I think it’d be cute if they bonded over time working together lol. Coworker enemies to friends to lovers or whatever. Bonus points if Jade liked cater from the start but was just being a weird fish about it so cater was like “ah, psychological warfare, this one is my enemy”

[DOC END]

sorry i kept dunking on leona so hard LOL i think it's funny when characters have beef with each other and i especially love the beef leona has with both malleus and vil in canon skldjfkldsjf. ok that last part with jade is just the stuff that got mentioned in the post i linked in the jade section lol. but the other bits i think were ambiguous not nrc au but i didnt really specify the worldbuilding bc i mean... i wasnt writing a fic i was just having so many ideas LOL

ok we are almost done but while i have u here im just gonna copy past another doc from later that same year KLFJDSKLFJDKSL it's shorter and not really 'caterella' but at this point i kinda call a lot of my cater ship ideas caterellas lol

context i THINK i wrote this when i was falling asleep and also i was still kicking and screaming about using leona for stuff kLJFKDLSJFDLS SORRY I WAS SUCH A HATER and now i have like. a begrudging love-hate relationship with him. hes a bitch but he is a very interesting character 😔 ok i digress that's not the point here kfljdsflks ANYWAY REALLY QUICK CONTEXT the following doc was also bc i couldnt stop fuckin thinking about that flying class leona line where he goes "i caught a bird." bc like wtf. why. cat behavior. put it back u bitch. and then i also would think about how cater and leona both stand on their broom and are regarded as really good fliers. ok ok ok ok let's go

[DOC START]

UGH lol

Leona and the bird right. It’s joint flight class, Leona and cater are standing all cool on their brooms and caters trying to get a selfie, Leona’s like 😒 

Then Leona catches a bird for no reason, as he does, like a cat, and caters like omg ur reflexes are so cool LEMME TAKE A PIC PLZZZZ PLZ PLZ PLZZZZZ and Leona’s like fine whatever do what you want 

Cut to Kalim on the ground like omg I didn’t know cater and Leona were friends!! The second years are sitting in the grass doing stretches for some reason I guess lol. riddles like they’re not friends, wtf is he doing up there 😒 

Kalim checks his phone and sees the pic cater posted , and looks back up where caters still hovering around Leona and smiling, and he’s like OMG do u guys think they’re dating!!!! Did Leona ask cater out with this bird??????

Jamil’s like 😒 wtf why would he do that

And kalims like idk what else would he catch a bird for cater for!!!!!

By the end of the day the rumor shot through the school

Ruggie tells Leona but Leona doesn’t care , rumors are rumors

Then the tabloids are like “second prince Leona might’ve finally found his life companion?!” And Leona still doesn’t care bc tabloids are dumb and they’ll move on eventually when they realize it’s not true

But then Leona’s brother calls and is like “Leona! You didn’t tell me you’d found someone special?? I had to find out through cheka showing me an article online!!! When are you gonna bring this cater boy to meet the family??” And Leona’s like wtf 😠 so he goes to heartslabyul like “hey 😤 wtf is this rumor” caters like I didn’t do it 😒 you literally watched me post the bird pic and that was it, I said NOTHING of romance 😤 

Meanwhile lilia: oh my, you’d best find a bigger bird with shinier feathers before it’s too late

Malleus: [brooding sounds]

Azul: ……what kind of bird do you think Jamil likes….

Floyd: I know! But I’m not telling :)

Birds flock to silver like the Disney prince he is, people probably think he’s got a secret fiancé lol

NO I don’t know where this is going but I thought it was funny 

[DOC END]

fjsdlkfjdlks ok sorry this one actually needs some explaining probably bc like most of these docs theres a lot of inside jokeys/references to many convos we'd have on the characters lol

one point is that we used to joke about like, sitcom style rumors growing out of hand and SO fast. especially with the first years + kalim and silver, but i guess in this case it was the second years, with still kalim LOL jsdklfjds.

second i have many ships. i like bringing them up when theyre not relevant. i like lilia being an embarrassing dad and wingman for malleus. i guess malleus has a crush on cater in this scenario bc i have always LOVED cater/malleus lol.

of course i found a way to mention jamil/azul sjklfjdsljfdlsj i think my friend and i would also joke a lot about azul having a crush on jamil and being kinda jelly that floyd gets to hang w/him at basketball practice/floyd being a little bitch about that for fun KJFDSKLFJKDSLJF

bird proposals. it's absurd but i think these goofyass kids would believe anything if you said it convincingly enough. remember how for like 10 seconds ruggie and the other banana boys thought leona had literally turned into a tsumtsum. anything is possible.

ok dear god my hands are going to cramp ive been typing for like 2 hours. if anyone read this entire thing im very impressed but i highly doubt many people did LOL but that is ok 😌 just looking at the pictures or skimming is so understandable. so is scrolling away bc this was so long LOL OOPSIEEEEEE anyway. i finally got over myself. i have so may thoughts in my head at all times and im literally always bursting at the seams to talk about them. hi. hello.

ok bye KLFDJSLFJDSKL

[actualbird]

the nxx boys and what presentation medium they use but i purposely picked crummy ones because everybody needs flaws

wc: 656

artem wing: the most boring microsoft powerpoint templates

artem would be straight to the point. he wants the information on the slide, it's readable, it exists, and Thats It

we all know hes got close to no talent in anything visual arts related so he relies on templates. and thats fine, everything is clear, but it's also like getting a slice of plain white bread projected onto the board

hell, sometimes he wont even bother with a template. he'll just use a blank slide

maybe purgatory is artem wing's powerpoint presentations

-

vyn richter: prezi

for those of you who dont know, prezi is a presentation software that i had to endure so many of my high school teachers using and i frigging hated it, i hate prezi so much, if there is a presentation method that is the unsexiest on this list, it's prezi, and im giving it to vyn partly to balance out how pretty he is. but why do i hate prezi?

because it induces MOTION SICKNESS

gif above taken from prezi's official support site and this is the zoom function. looks cool but lemme tell ya! opening a box and then realizing in that box is 7 other boxes gets confusing as hell and also just all this nyooming around makes me feel like im on a rollercoaster but it's not fun

vyn would probably love this function because oooohhh, it's symbolic, inside every mind is more and more information that can be delved into deeper. vyn is making prezi presentations that feel like theyre going into the mariana's trench, once youre down there, youre deep, youre not getting out, also you are so, so dizzy in his class

-

marius von hagen: nothing but stage presence

nothing. hes using nothing. he stands up, says his shit, and uses no presentation aid AT ALL.

he learned he liked this method best back when he was studying in florence cuz listen, when youre an art student surrounded by art students, the tendency is that everybody relies on the visuals to get their point across

not marius. he wants to set himself apart from the crowd with sheer verbal presentation skill, with GRAVITAS, and he pulls it off

but jesus christ, he sends NOTHING the others can use as reference

when he becomes PAX CEO, thankfully making presentation decks wont be his job, i think. for the most part he'll write and present the info but presentation decks r usually done by graphic designers, something i think PAX would have a bunch of

but if hes presenting on his own with no ppl to make a deck for him? his method is this:

-

luke pearce: the overhead projector

i like to think luke's love for antiques started when he was young. he was drawn to old trinkets and then moved onto outdated tech and then incorporated as much of these objects into his life as his love letter to the beauty of objects from the past

i also like to think luke and mc's classmates back in high school fucking hated when he was gonna present stuff because he'd wheel in this dinosaur from the school's storage room

afrigging plastic sheet projected thru an orange light. it's hard to read. i couldnt frigging read anything from it when i experienced this in grade school and for the teenagers of tot's future-ish setting? this is hellish

to make things worse, luke adds onto the printed text on the plastic sheets with his own handwritten notes in permanent marker.

and his handwriting

sucks

he uses overhead projectors even when he gets into the NSB until aaron whacked him over the head, annoyed that luke was making him relive the 90s. the overhead projector gives aaron flashbacks of when he was as stupid idiotic as luke. he shudders...

[thevivification]

GoodTimesWithScar for MCC Season 3!

Spun a wheel and it gave me blue so that's the colour scheme I did for him

If the background looks off it's cause I drew over an Illumina screenshot and gave up after I finished the floor.

(w/ text ver under cut ↓)

My handwriting sucks lol

Originally I was gonna add some random contestants but decided against it (the background was as much wrist pain as I'm willing to go through today thank you very much)

[elisela]

take root buck x eddie, 1.2k. happy birthday, @gracieli! ♥️🌻

“Dad!” Chris rushes towards him, phone clutched in one hand, beaming. “My zucchini sprouted!”

Eddie holds his hand out for the phone—Chris had been checking his classroom website obsessively as soon as summer break started, waiting for his teacher to post an update about the vegetables they planted on the last day of school. “Looks pretty good, buddy,” he says, looking at the two tiny leaves sticking up through dark soil, Christopher’s name written in his best handwriting on a marker in front. “Did you sign up for a time to go work in the garden yet?”

“Yeah, two times,” Chris says. “We can go on Wednesday and Buck said he’d take me, too, on Friday.”

Of course he did.

“I already sent you the invite,” Chris adds, pushing his glasses up and reaching a hand out for his phone back. “You need to accept it, Dad.”

It’s not that Eddie regrets getting him the phone, but he does wish the constant bombardment of calendar invites, download requests, game requests, and text messages with nothing but memes would … slow down a bit. “I’m not even sure where my phone is,” he says, “but I will. Promise. You should send that picture to abuela, she’d love to see it.”

----

Eddie hadn’t been exaggerating when he told Chris that he had a brown thumb. He’s not sure what it is—maybe the same lack of intuition that keeps him away from the kitchen most nights—but when he’d failed to even keep a succulent that Sophia had given him alive back in El Paso, he’d given it up. Plants are fine, and he can enjoy them in nature, but he doesn’t really feel the need to have them around the house, anyway.

Chris is different. Fourth grade science and a unit on plant life cycles had him begging for flowers to be brought into the house, and with huge bouquets regularly sold at the farmer’s market for $10, Eddie had no problem taking him every week to pick a bunch out. Sometimes Chris would save his allowance and buy a smaller bouquet for his room, or a vase or two at a yard sale. Then it was a ficus that was half-dead at the nursery and tended carefully by his son until it was thriving again, a monstera deliciosa that Buck brought over and was moved around no less than twenty-six times before Chris found the perfect place for it, and four planters full of sunflowers that Chris planted along the side of the house.

But his obsession with growing vegetables really starts after they plant the zucchini at school. Eddie and Buck take turns bringing him twice a week to meet his science teacher so he can help tend to the garden, and every time Chris looks wistfully out into their small, brown backyard, Eddie’s heart sinks. They don’t have the space for a real garden—Chris had never been a kid to run around in the backyard, preferring playgrounds and parks, so he hadn’t cared too much when he’d rented the place—let alone the knowledge on how to set it up. The school’s gardens are nice; he can see irrigation lines, beautiful cedar planters, and he’s pretty sure it would cost quite a bit to set something like that up.

It’s not until they respond to a call at a community garden that he realizes how he can get Chris the garden he so desperately wants.

-----

It takes seven months for space to become available, and part of him had worried about Chris losing interest in that time, but they now have four additional plants in the house along with a windowsill herb garden filled with rosemary, mint, basil, and chives that Chris and Buck regularly use while they cook. The garden manager gives him a call on Tuesday and Eddie fills out the rental agreement while he’s on shift, renting out two adjacent plots, and buys a gardening book that becomes remarkably difficult to read without his boys catching him. He doesn’t just want to drag them out to an empty plot—it just doesn’t feel right—but he’s also … really not sure what to do. So he sucks it up and wanders around the garden, asking for advice, before finally planting a peach tree in Chris’ plot (his favorite fruit) and California poppies in Buck’s (despite Buck claiming that sunflowers are his favorite flower, Eddie’s been dragged out to the poppy fields more times than he can count).

He picks up the gardening tools that everyone told him he would need, puts them in the community garden branded tote bag that the manager had given him on his first trip out, and takes his boys out to breakfast.

“Let’s go on a walk,” Eddie says, and Buck groans.

“I would have eaten less if I had known you were going to torture us,” Buck says, but he’s smiling.

“Liar,” Eddie says, reaching for his hand. “Come on, I want to show you guys something.”

They listen to Chris chatter as they walk, and Eddie brings them to a stop along the wrought iron gates with a giant metal sun. “In here,” he says, and feels a sense of pride bloom in his chest as Buck and Chris read the sign and then glance at each other, clearly excited. Their plots are in the back of the expanded section, set up against the corner. One of the other gardeners had offered to make signs for their planter boxes, and he watches the pleased smile on Buck’s face as he runs his fingers over the small wooden board that says Diaz Family.

“It’s ours?” Chris asks incredulously, gazing around at the space. “We can plant whatever we want?”

“It’s yours,” Eddie says. “One for you, one for Buck. We can head over to the nursery for all your seeds after this.”

“Once again, you just reap the benefits,” Buck teases, throwing an arm over Eddie’s shoulders and leaning in to kiss his cheek. “This is awesome, Eddie.”

He shows them where he’d planted the peach tree, and Buck’s poppies, and sits on the side of the planter box, face tilted up to the sun as they discuss their plans, Chris tapping away at his phone as he writes everything down.

“This is the best, Dad,” Chris says when they’re leaving, red-cheeked from the sun and grinning. “I’m gonna grow so many vegetables, we’ll never have to buy them from the store again. I’ll teach you how to grow it all, too.”

Eventually, they get into the habit of spending a few days a week at the garden, tending to their own patches and talking to the other gardeners, experimenting with different things to grow, celebrating their victories with new recipes and old favorites at home, bunches of carefully cut flowers adorning the dining room table.

When he and Buck finally decide to buy a house, the backyard is the first thing he looks at.

[maggotzombie]

LIEBE LIESE: ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪᴠ – 𝒲𝒾𝓃𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓁𝑒𝓈

→ CHAPTERS LIST — CHAPTER III: HONEY LIPS WORD COUNT: 7,5k A/N: The overdue chapter is here (and several hours later than promised). I want to apologize once again for delaying it so much. I have this chapter planned in my head since I first started writing this fic but I couldn’t bring myself to write it for some reason. This is basically a get to know character, hope y’all like it.

HENRY TAKES a deep breath as he slowly wakes up and her scent fills his nostrils. He rolls to his back and, with his eyes still closed, he instinctively reaches out for the warmth of her body but the other side o the bed is empty, cold even, making his eyes snap open right away. Liese isn’t snuggled up in a very small space in the mattress like he wanted to, he’s alone.

Sunlight pours into the apartment heavily, the thin white drapes doing nothing to block it. As his eyes scan the vast open space, Henry is disappointed to not find her hourglass-shaped body anywhere.

He sits up. “Liese?” The man calls, his voice filling the space and bouncing back to him.

No response.

Sighing, Henry clenches his jaw and pushes the covers away from his lap before standing up. At the chair by the corner of the shelving, his clothes are neatly folded, the black boxer briefs on top of the pile. He then notices the blue slip of paper above it.

Without a second thought, he picks it up.

Hi, handsome.

Good morning! Sorry I’m not there. I have to go to work and I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up. You looked so heavenly sleeping. I’ve made you breakfast, hope you like it. It’s in the microwave and there’s coffee on the pot. You can leave my keys with Mr. Ferris at the front desk, he’s trustworthy ;) Can’t wait for our date tonight!

P.S.: I really hope you understand my handwriting because doctors really suck at it and I tried really hard. If not, you’ll find a text in your phone saying the exact same thing :p

Liebe, Liese xo

Henry smiles, still staring at the piece of paper. Her handwriting is really difficult in some parts, especially when e’s looks like i’s and o’s like a’s. But he did understand it and now he couldn’t stop smirking like an idiot.

* * *

Liese rests her chin on the heel of her hand, looking at her friend. “This is a power couple right here, I’m telling you,” Sierra states, holding her phone out to the others.

They have been discussing the success of this year’s benefit gala for the last ten minutes and now the subject is the silver-haired woman. The official photos of the event are circulating the internet and this is totally normal, considering the celebrities that have attended it. But her friends are way more interested in her photo with a certain actor.

“This is like the Queen B and Jay-Z of white people,” Her friend continues, making people laugh.

“That’s Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie,” Kelsie points out.

“They aren’t married anymore,” Sierra makes a face, shaking her head.

“We also have different lines of work,” Liese says. “Beyoncé and Jay-Z are musicians while Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are actors.”

“Girl, I don’t care about that,” Her fellow doctor looks at her like she’s demented. “The point is that beautiful babies would come out of you with this much good genes.”

The woman laughs, shaking her head and standing up. “Great time to start doing our rounds, huh?” She says, walking away.

“We’re continuing this later,” Sierra says, walking beside her.

She shakes her head. “Nope, we’re not.”

They focus on their patients and each visit takes its own time as they pay very close attention and listen to everything they have to say, also making conversation other than the routine questions. Liese gets a text from Henry in-between visits and she replies to him quickly with a smile on her face while walking towards the next room.

Right away, the woman notices something’s off with the little girl they’re visiting. She doesn’t make eye contact with both doctors; her replies are single-worded and her mother does almost all the talking. While she desperately wants to engage in a conversation with her and find out exactly what’s bothering the girl, Liese needs to see other patients as well. So, she returns to her room after she finishes the rounds with Sierra.

A soft knock on the doorway has the two occupants looking at her. “Hey, I’m back,” She smiles softly. “So, I’ve noticed someone is a little upset today,” Liese starts. “And I was thinking: ‘What would I do if I was feeling down?’” She taps her index finger on her jaw, looking up as if in thought. “Then, I remember. Chocolate, obviously!” The woman shakes her head. “So, I went to the vending machine and got this for you,” She slowly reveals the candy bar, finally walking into the room. The little girl beams at her immediately. “But you shouldn’t eat all at once,” The doctor suggests, sitting on the bed and offering her the bar.

“What do we say, honey?” Her mother asks, sitting in the armchair next to the bed.

“Thanks, Dr. H,” Carol says quietly.

Liese smiles fondly at her. “You’re welcome, love,” She says.

Most of the kids call her “Dr. H” because it’s harder for younger ones to say “Hartmann”.

“Dr. H, can I ask you something?” Carol looks up at the doctor, completely ignoring the candy.

She tilts her head slightly. “Sure.”

“Can I braid your hair?” The little girl asks out of the blue.

“My hair?” Liese frowns, taken aback by the sudden request.

“Yes,” She nods. “Your hair is very pretty,” She praises and the frown on the doctor’s face just deepens.

“Well, thanks. But where have you seen it?” She asks.

Liese’s go-to hairstyle for work is a simple bun. It’s practical because it keeps her hair out of her face when she needs to run around the ED and it’s sanitary because, well, she works in hospitals. It’s also very appropriate in a working environment. So, she is utterly confused by the girl’s statement.

“On your Instagram,” Carol replies like it’s obvious.

She immediately panics inside, wondering how many of her patients check her social media.

“Oh,” Her eyebrows shoot to her hairline before she frowns slightly again for a second before snapping out of it. “Okay, sure. But I only have one hair tie,” She points out.

“It’s fine, turn around,” The little girl says excitedly, sitting her chocolate bar to the side.

Liese glances at her mother who shrugs off with a smile before she turns around. She pulls her hair out of the bun and down her shoulders, combing it slightly with her fingers and smoothing down the roots. Carol’s eyes shine in excitement as the silver locks pour down Liese’s back. Then, the doctor rests her hands on her lap, waiting for Carol to start braiding and she does so after shyly asking permission to actually touch her hair.

“It’s so smooth,” Carol beams, running her little finger through her hair. “And shiny!”

“Do you know why I dyed it?” She asks, trying to access how much stalking the girl did on her Instagram.

“Because you lost a bet with Otto,” She replies, starting to braid the right side of her hair.

Liese chuckles, amused by her calling her brother by the name but also concerned. “Yes, you’re right.”

“Who’s Otto?” Her mother asks, frowning.

“He’s Dr. H’s little brother,” Carol explains.

The expression on her mother’s face is of pure chock as Liese nods slightly. “Guess I need to be very careful of what I post, huh?” She muses, trying to make less of the awkward situation.

“And I should start monitoring what this young lady is doing online,” The woman replies, giving a pointed look at her daughter.

“Mom!” Carol whines and the doctor chuckles.

The little girl works quickly, tugging and twisting Liese’s hair skillfully. She braids each side, joining both of it on the back of the doctor’s head with an imperceptible knot. Carol easily convinces Liese to let her take photos of the braid with her phone so she could see it.

“Oh my God,” The doctor says, truly surprised by the professional-looking braid. “This is so gorgeous, thank you so much, Carol,” She looks at the girl.

She smiles, resting her head on her hands. “I wish I had hair like yours,” Carol confesses dreary.

The look on the woman’s face softens. “Is that why you’re upset, sweetheart?” She asks, turning her whole body towards her and giving her full undivided attention. The little girl shrugs, eyes falling to her lap. “Honey, you don’t have to worry. Your hair will grow back and I bet it’s gonna look prettier than mine,” Liese tries to reassure her.

Leukemia is a real bitch. Like any other type of cancer, it makes you suffer throughout the very brutal treatment. When kids experience it, in Liese’s opinion, it’s even worse. It’s hard to explain to them what’s happening and why they can’t be around so many people like before because their immune system is too compromised.

She shrugs off nonchalantly. “I guess,” She murmurs, her eyes still focused on her fidgeting hands.

“You know what you can do while it doesn’t grow back?” The doctor starts, trying to pique her interest.

“What?” Carol asks, still avoiding eye contact.

“You can wear wigs!” Liese says. “Mel from down the hall says it’s very cool to have a different hairstyle or hair color every day,” She adds. “You should talk to her,” Liese suggests.

Finally, Carol snaps her head up and looks at her mother. “Can we do that?” She asks, excited again.

“Sure,” Her mother nods with a smile.

The little girl looks back at Liese with a huge grin on her face in which the woman corresponds. “Dr. Hartmann to the nurse’s station,” The female voice says on speaker.

“Well, that’s me,” The doctor says, standing up from the bed with her phone in hands. “Thanks for the brai – Oof,” She puffs when Carol throws herself into Liese’s arms, hugging her neck tightly.

“I love you, Dr. H,” The little girl says and it surprises Liese.

She then smiles, hugging her small body. “I love you too, Carol,” She replies. “I’ll check on you later today, okay?”

“Okay,” She nods, sitting back on the bed.

“Thank you so much, Dr. Hartmann,” Carol’s mother says when she reaches the door.

“Sure,” She smiles before finally leaving the room.

While Liese was comforting the little girl, Henry walks into the medical facility. Right after he passes through the front door, he realizes that coming there might not be a good idea after all. He has no clue as to where he can find her and she’s working; he shouldn’t be bothering her at work.

“Sir, can I help you?” A young woman at the front desk asks, breaking his thoughts.

“Ah, yes, ma’am,” He smiles politely, approaching her. “Do you know where I can find Dr. Liese Hartmann?”

She makes a face. “I don’t, actually,” Then she chuckles. “But if you go to the nurse’s station on the first floor, they can page her,” She says. “Elevators are through there,” She instructs.

“Thank you,” Henry offers a smile.

“Big fan, by the way,” She adds quickly as he starts to move away.

The man’s smile grows wider. “Thank you,” He repeats, finally walking away.

He follows the young woman’s instructions and gets in the elevator to the first floor. The building only has two floors above the ground level but it looks exactly like a hospital. Nurses and doctors are walking around in scrubs, patients and relatives.

Patients. That’s when Henry is sure it wasn’t a good idea to come there. The patients in that facility are kids from two to sixteen-years-old and he’s fucking Superman. Right now he’s just praying they won’t recognize him because it’s gonna be hell to leave if they do.

“Good morning, ma’am,” Henry says when he approaches the nurse’s station. “I’m looking for Dr. Liese Hartmann. The lady at the reception said you could page her from here.”

The woman double looked at him and her jaw dropped while he was talking. They were talking about him just a few hours ago.

“Uh, sure. Yes, I can do that,” She recovers quickly when he stops talking. “One second.”

“Thank you,” He offers her his breathtaking smile and, boy, she could have fainted.

Smiling at him, the usual effect Henry’s charm has on women, she picks up the phone. “Dr. Hartmann to the nurse’s station,” She says over the phone and her voice is amplified by the speakers. “Give her a couple of minutes.”

“Alright. Thank you so much,” Henry replies, smiling at her again.

It’s doesn’t take a couple of minutes, though. The man pulls his phone from his pocket to check a message and a flicker of silver catches the corner of his eye. He looks up to see the gorgeous doctor coming out of a patient room wearing blue scrubs and a lab coat above it. She looks absolutely stunning with her hair down her shoulders in beachy waves and the waterfall braid.

Liese’s eyes go straight to him and she hesitates for a split second, surprised by seeing him there. Then she smiles, walking towards him.

“Mr. Cavill, hello,” She greets him professionally.

He gets the hint and plays along right away. “Dr. Hartmann,” Henry nods, shaking her hand. “Pleased to meet you again,” He adds and she offers him a mischievous smirk that only he understands in that way.

“Likewise,” The doctor replies. “I’m very glad you took up on my offer to meet the facilities. Should we talk about the details in my office?” She offers suggestively.

Henry nods. “Lead the way.”

With a smile, Liese motions to the elevators he just came from and they walk towards there ignoring everybody gawking at Henry, especially Sierra who was practically arranging their wedding earlier. The elevator ride to the ground level is silent because they aren’t alone but both of them are trying to hold back the laugh.

The walk to her office has fewer eyes on them but it’s only when Henry sees her name on a door that he smirks. She opens the door for him still in a professional way and he walks in. Liese quickly follows, closing the door and having him on her as soon as it clicks closed.

She giggles with his lips on hers. “Hey,” The woman says, before pulling him down at the neck and kissing him deeper.

“Hi,” He breathes out, a silly grin in his face and forehead resting against hers. “You are gorgeous, by the way,” He praises.

She rolls her eyes, moving away. “I’m literally wearing scrubs,” Liese deadpans.

“It doesn’t matter,” The man smiles, looking at her walk around. “So, I’ve come to drop this off,” He says.

Her keys dangle from his hand and the doctor smiles, leaning against her desk. “You could have left it with Mr. Ferris,” She says as he approaches her.

Henry puts his hands on each side of the table, trapping her against it and his body. “I could,” He leans down and kisses her neck softly. “But then I wouldn’t have an excuse to come see you,” Henry adds, kissing the other side of her neck.

She giggles, taking his face with both hands and kissing his lips. “Did you sleep well?” Liese asks, looking into his eyes. “I swear, you looked so at peace when I left that I couldn’t bring myself to disturb you,” She says.

“I did, actually,” He replies, taking a seat at one of the comfortable chairs in front of her table. “Your mattress is wonderful. It’s like sleeping in a cloud,” He says and the woman chuckles. “Matter of fact, it’s the first time in a very long time that I sleep past nine.”

“Why? Kal doesn’t let you stay longer?” Liese asks with a content smile on her lips.

“Well, that and I just can’t stay in bed at all,” The man nods.

“I can think of ways to make you stay,” She starts and Henry’s eyes darken immediately, looking up at her.

“Hmm, I like where your mind is going,” He says, leaning towards her and reaching his hand to caress her thighs. “You have a nice office,” The man adds but he hadn’t even taken a look around her office. “Tell me, have you ever had some fun in here?”

The doctor smirks, pushing his shoulder back and straddling his lap.

Henry’s hands immediately find her waist. “Not today, Mr. Cavill,” She whispers against his lips. “Perhaps when you come back for your visit to see the facility,” Liese teases with a hand caressing his chest. “Right now, I’m afraid I’m kicking you out.”

He was about to kiss her lips when Liese suddenly stands up, making Henry pout. “Seriously?” He asks, looking up at her incredulously.

“Mmhm,” The doctor hums with a nod. “One of my friends was already naming our children earlier. I don’t want to give them the tea,” She confesses. “But I’m looking forward to our date tonight,” Liese smiles at him.

“I’m looking forward to it, too,” He replies, standing up and bringing her body closer to his with one hand. “Our children, huh?” He says as they part their lips.

Liese chuckles. “Yeah. Apparently, our ‘good genes’ would result in beautiful babies,” She makes air quotes.

“Well, I concur,” Henry nods, making the woman chuckle again.

“Let’s take baby steps, okay?” She says. “The date first.”

“Sure. Pick you up at seven?” He suggests.

Liese nods. “Sounds great,” Then she stands on her tiptoes to kiss his lips while resting both hands on his chest. “Now, allow me to walk you out, Mr. Cavill.”

“Please, lead the way, Dr. Hartmann,” He plays along again, making her laugh in amusement.

She straightens her clothes a little before opening the door and walking out with Henry following. At the door, they shake hands again. “Thank you for coming by, Mr. Cavill. I really appreciate your interest,” The doctor says and Henry almost laughs at the real meaning of those words.

“Of course, ma’am. I’ll have my manager to call you with a date,” He replies.

“Great. Have a nice day,” Liese smiles.

“You too, ma’am,” The man smiles before walking away.

The woman watches as he walks towards his car and turns her back when he gets into it. Amelie, the young woman at the front desk, has a smirk on her face when Liese looks at her.

“He looks so much more handsome in person, right?” She says, smiling like a real fangirl.

“I’d say so, yes,” The doctor agrees, chuckling at her.

“And he smells so good too!” Amelie adds excitedly.

Now Liese laughs. “Yeah, okay Amelie. If anyone asks for me, I’m in my office,” She says, already walking back there.

She sighs when she closes the door and a silly smile plays in her lips. The keychain sitting in her desk makes her feel like a teenager as she recalls everything that just happened in her office.

But she doesn’t allow herself to keep doing that as she has a lot of work to get done. So, the woman pushes off the door and walks around the desk, sitting behind it. Liese puts her keys into her purse before focusing on the paperwork that needed attention.

That’s when there’s a knock on the door and then Sierra slips right into the room without even waiting for an answer.

“Nooo,” Liese whines, sitting back on her chair and pitching the bridge of her nose.

“Soulmates, you guys are soulmates, I’m telling you!” Her friend starts, taking a seat at the chair Henry was in minutes ago. “You guys look so good together. Brangelina ain’t shit compared to you guys.”

“Sie, I really need to read these,” She points at the documents.

Her friend nods. “I’ll be quick. He’s just so handsome…”

Liese rolls her eyes and sits back on her chair. For the next forty minutes – yeah, that long –, Sierra explains how they’re perfected for each other, even googling Henry to point out things they have in common. Lunchtime is no different, except this time her friend has allies to convince Liese as to why she should ask the actor out on a date.

In the afternoon, the woman has the desired peace she wanted to go through the paperwork carefully. She gets a lot of things done until the time to leave arrives but she actually goes back to Carol’s room. They talk for a while and Liese asks the little girl to teach her how to do the waterfall braid by herself.

Before she could be late for her date, she gets an Uber home. “Good evening, Mr. Ferris. Got anything for me today?” She smiles kindly at the elder man, leaning on the front desk.

“Dr. Hartmann, hello,” He smiles at her. “Just a couple today,” Mr. Ferris says, turning around to the mailboxes. “A very polite gentleman came looking for you last night and I told him your apartment number because he didn’t seem like a bad person to me,” He says calmly as he turns back around towards Liese with her mail. “I hope it’s alright for you. If not, I’m terribly sorry, I-”

The woman interrupts him, shaking her head and resting a hand above his. “It’s quite alright, Mr. Ferris. Really,” She reassures him. “Also, I’m sure you saw him leaving this morning,” She winks at him.

“Well, I’m not one to pry on anyone’s business,” He shrugs off, making her laugh.

“You’re the best, Mr. Ferris,” Liese leans forward to kiss his cheek. “Thank you so much,” She says before moving away.

The elder man chuckles at her. “He seems to be very nice, Dr. Hartmann,” Mr. Ferris adds.

“He is, Mr. Ferris,” She looks back at him. “And you can call me Liese,” The woman smiles.

“Sure. When you start calling me Carl,” He says nonchalantly, smiling at her later.

Liese waves at him before getting into the elevator. She doesn’t bother to check the mail; she simply discards it on the console table by the front door. The doctor goes straight to the bathroom, taking a relaxing shower. Then she applies a face mask and realizes she doesn’t know what to wear.

The woman panics as she stares at her closet. “Hey, gorgeous,” Henry says as he picks up the call and Liese can sense a smile on his face, making her smile as well.

“Hi, handsome,” She giggles, amused by the exchange. “Where are you taking me? I don’t know what to wear,” She confesses. “And don’t worry about ruining surprises, I don’t know many restaurants and I won’t Google it.”

Henry chuckles at her bluntness and she feels a chill running down her spine just by the sound of it. “It’s a place called Clos Maggiore,” He replies.

“Sounds fancy. Okay, I know exactly what to wear. You’ll love it,” She says, picking a hanger and looking at the dress.

“I’m pretty sure I’d love anything you decided on,” The man replies.

Liese snorts. “I wouldn’t be that sure,” She says. “Anyway, I have to get ready.”

“There’s still an hour and a half until I have to pick you up,” He points out.

“Yeah, well. Some of us weren’t born that handsome,” The woman replies. “Plus, I’ll make sure you will need to pick your jaw from the floor when you see me,” She teases.

He chuckles again. “Okay, I’ll let you go then. See you soon.”

“Bye,” Liese blows him a kiss before hanging up.

The woman leaves the dress on her bed and picks a pair of high heel sandals. She also decides on jewelry and then washes the face mask off. Liese decides on a simple makeup and, by the time she’s styling her hair, her phone starts to ring. Propping it against the vanity mirror, she answers the FaceTime call.

“Hey Gustav,” She says.

“Lis, it’s poker night. You coming?” Her brother asks without even looking at her. “Oh wow, you’re all dolled up,” He says, finally looking at her.

She frowns. “It’s Wednesday,” She points out. “And, no, I won’t come. I have a date.”

Gustav laughs right away. “No, you don’t. I don’t believe that for a second,” He says and she rolls her eyes. “What are you really up to?” He asks.

“A date,” The woman insists. “I don’t have time to talk right now. I will call you later if feel like it,” She says, pulling her curling iron down.

“No, don’t hang up. Come to poker nig-” Her brother tries but she hangs up on his face anyway.

She ignores Gustav calling again and puts on the dress, smoothing it on her body while analyzing her reflection on the mirror. Heels, accessories and some perfume later, the woman gathers a few things in a small clutch. When she picks up a trench coat from her closet, Henry sends her a text, letting her know that he’s waiting for her in the lobby.

On my way down.

She replies before shoving her phone into the clutch. Liese dresses the coat and turns off the lights, waking out of her studio apartment. The elevator ride is very quick and, soon enough, she spots Henry’s large form when the doors open. He has his back towards her and turns around when he hears the sound of heels against the floors.

True to her words, Henry has to pick his jaw from the floor when he sees her. The burgundy velvet dress hugs her form perfectly, the deep V neck showing the curve of her breasts. She styled the silver hair with beachy waves, much like he had seen in the morning, looking very natural.

“Y-You’re… Uh… Wow,” Henry stutters as she walks towards him. “You’re stunning,” He manages to blurt out.

Liese chuckles slightly, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, but I don’t believe it,” She says. “You said the same thing when I was wearing scrubs,” Liese explains with a pointed look and he chuckles.

“It’s not about the clothes,” The man replies with a soft look on his face and she almost melts.

“Well, you’re very handsome yourself,” She praises, a hand running under the lapel of his coat.

Henry’s wearing a deep blue three-piece suit with a gray dress shirt, two buttons popped open to reveal some chest hair. On top of that, he has a thick dark coat. His curled short hair falls over his forehead, making him look both adorable and extremely hot. Overall, he could make Liese wet if he smirked at her.

She’s simply glad that she went all the way because she’d feel extremely underdressed if she had chosen something different.

“Thanks,” He smiles at her.

“Looking very good, Dr. Hartmann,” Mr. Ferris says and suddenly Liese remembers him.

She looks his way and smiles. “Thanks, Mr. Ferris.”

“Shall we?” Henry asks and she looks back at him.

“Sure. Good night, Mr. Ferris,” The woman bids goodbye to the elder man.

“See you soon, sir,” The actor says to Mr. Ferris.

“Have a good time,” He wishes.

“Thanks,” The couple replies at the same time.

Henry leads Liese outside with a hand on the small of her back. “This one,” He steers her to a black Bentley, completely different from the SUV he drove her there yesterday.

“Nice car,” She praises as he opens the door for her.

He chuckles. “Thanks,” He says.

The man walks around the car while she buckles the belt. “How many cars do you have?” She asks, looking at him with a smile.

“A few,” Henry shrugs off and she raises both eyebrows. “I like cars,” He says and she chuckles.

“Sure,” She says.

“How about you?” He asks, starting the car.

“As of now, zero,” Liese replies. “The only car I want it’s my brother’s and I haven’t been lucky these last few years.”

“Really?” He glances at her.

“Yeah,” She nods. “I don’t mind taking the tube, in fact, I don’t care at all.”

“You’re very humble, aren’t you?” Henry chuckles.

“I am, actually,” She says. “I appreciate you taking me to this restaurant, don’t get me wrong, but I also could do a pub with oily snacks and a pint,” The man glances at her again with an amused expression. “I was raised with boys,” She shrugs off.

“At least I already know where our second date is gonna be,” He says.

“Oh, honey. You’re so hopeful,” Liese jokes and laughs at his expression.

The ride to Covent Garden is not long but filled with chit chat. Soon, Henry pulls over in front of the restaurant. He leaves the car and quickly makes his way around it to open the door to Liese. He helps her out and offers his arm like a real gentleman.

With arms linked, the couple gets into the restaurant, not before Henry could praise Liese again. “Good evening,” The hostess smiles at them as they approach.

“Good evening. We have a reservation under the name Cavill,” He says.

She nods, quickly typing on her iPad. “Of course, allow me to show you to your seats,” The hostess says, turning around.

The couple follows her into the bar section, the walls covered by green plants, what both amazes Liese and makes her wonder if it’s real. Red leather contrasts with orange wood and brown seats. Two rooms are just like that before they get into a room with cherry blossoms covering the ceiling with twinkling lights intertwined in it.

“Oh wow,” Liese murmurs, looking up at the cherry blossoms.

Henry has to guide her the rest of the way because she isn’t able to tear her eyes away from it. The hostess leads them to a more secluded table but placed in the same gorgeously decorated space.

“May I take your coats?” The woman guiding them asks.

The man nods and then proceeds to help Liese out of her coat. She’s still mesmerized by her surroundings to the point she doesn’t take her eyes away from the ceiling as Henry helps seat down too. He removes his coat, handing it to the hostess before taking a seat across from Liese.

“A waiter will be with you soon,” The hostess says, holding both of their coats. “Have a nice diner.”

“Thank you,” Henry says to the woman and then looks back at his date when she leaves. A smile forms in his lips. “Well? What do you think?” He asks and she finally looks back at him.

“This place is gorgeous,” She says, reaching out to take his hand. “Thank you so much for bringing me here,” She adds sincerely and Henry smiles wider.

“You’re very welcome,” He starts. “But it’s not as gorgeous as you are,” The man praises once again.

For the first time since they’ve met, Henry sees Liese blushing. At the moment he opens his mouth to say something else, the waiter arrives at their table. He handles both of them menus and waits for them to decide on what to eat. Henry picks a bottle of wine and the waiter praises his choice before walking away.

“Très bien,” Liese says in French in a joking manner.

He smiles at her immediately. “Do you speak French too?” He asks, teasing.

“Non pas du tout,” She chuckles at her joke and he joins her. “I mean, I can remember bits from school but, fluently, only German and English.”

“When did you move here?” Henry asks.

“I’m British, Henry,” The woman giggles, answering his question. “I did live in Germany for a while when I was a teenager, but I was born and raised in Hampstead,” She explains.

“I’d never know,” He shakes his head slightly. “You very German-looking,” He adds.

“Well, my mother is half German and my father is totally German,” She says. “Granddad married a German lady, had my mom, she met my dad in an exchange program she was doing there. When she came home, he came looking for her shortly after.”

The waiter comes back with appetizers and the wine bottle Henry ordered. “Thanks,” The actor says to him. “Cheers,” The actor raises his wine glass to clink with hers.

“Cheers,” She smiles and takes a sip.

“About your parents,” He continues the conversation. “Sounds like a Hollywood rom-com,” Henry says and then, he leans forward on the table. “While we’re in this topic, I’m intrigued,” He starts.

“Okay,” Liese nods, nibbling on the appetizer.

“Do you know that I’ve played Superman, right?” He asks, frowning slightly while looking at her.

“Of course,” The woman nods again.

“Oh, okay,” He nods too. “It’s just because you’ve never mentioned anything related to it and people usually point it out right away,” He explains.

Liese chuckles at him. “I work with and very close to children, Cavill. I’d consider myself a really bad doctor for not knowing every superhero film, cartoons, and animations,” She says.

“It makes sense,” Henry agrees, chuckling along with her.

“I just never mentioned because I didn’t think it would gonna make a difference. Would it?” She asks, resting her chin on her palm.

“Not at all,” He shakes his head, opening a smile. “I’m glad you didn’t, actually,” He smiles. “So, tell me, how long have you been working at the foundation?”

Liese proceeds to tell him that she’s one of the founders of it, that’s why she’s the head of the medical staff. Angela Davies, the little girl that named the foundation, was the woman’s patient at St. Thomas’ and is in remission to this day because of her efforts along with her friend, Sierra Jones. So, the two doctors and the patient’s father, who happens to be a millionaire, started the foundation to help other kids.

Liese’s phone doesn’t stop ringing into her purse and she finally looks at it when their food arrives. There were three missed calls from Gustav along with a bunch of texts of him whining about her missing poker’s night. She ignores all of it and leaves her phone at the table, focusing back on their meal.

The conversation is very easygoing, but the doctor does most of the talking. Henry is trying to get to know her the best he can. She tells him that she practically has three jobs; the formal one at St. Thomas’ Hospital, at the Angela Davies Foundation and a private practice in which she sees patients at home, usually on her downtime. But she explains that she chose not to get paid for the work she does at the foundation and she’s very proud of it.

“I’m really sorry about this,” She says suddenly, taking her phone off the table after the third buzz.

“If you need to take this, I’m okay with it,” Henry reassures.

“No, it’s fine,” She shakes her head, locking the screen. “It’s just my brother annoying me for not coming to poker night,” Liese waves her hand nonchalantly. “He doesn’t believe I’m on a date,” She rolls her eyes.

The man frowns, pretty sure he had seen the name ‘Gustav’ on the screen. “How many brothers do you have, anyway?” He asks.

“Too many,” She widens her eyes slightly, taking a sip of the wine. “After my parents had my older brother,” The woman starts to explain after seeing his face.

“Anton,” He says.

“No, Wolfgang,” Liese corrects him with a chuckle. “Yeah, well. After they had Wolfie, they wanted a girl but Anton came along. They tried again and had me. It was supposed to be it. However, when I was five, my mother got pregnant by ‘accident’,” She makes air quotes. “Identical twins, Gustav and Otto.”

“No way,” Henry chuckles at said ‘accident’.

“Yeah,” The doctor nods. “So, I have four brothers,” She rests her chin on her palm. “This tends to scare guys away,” She confesses, looking at him.

“Well, not me,” He says with a smile.

She smiles at him too. “How about you?” Liese asks, picking up her fork.

“Oddly enough, I have four brothers, too,” The man replies.

“Any sister?” Now she’s the one with the questions because she genuinely didn’t know anything about him.

He shakes his head. “Only brothers.”

“Oh,” She makes a face. “Your poor mother,” The woman jokes.

Henry chuckles. “She’s a strong woman,” He says, clearly proud of her.

“I bet,” She smiles. “Are you older than the rest?”

“No,” The man shakes his head again. “I have three older brothers; Piers, Niki, and Simon; and one younger brother, Charlie.”

“Well, at least you’re not the one who’s always being compared to the others,” Liese chuckles.

“My family is not like that,” He explains.

“Good. Mine neither,” She sips her wine again.

“What do you mean when you said your brother doesn’t believe you’re on a date?” Henry asks, interested in that.

The woman pauses for a bit, licking her lips. “I don’t… Go on dates,” She replies slowly.

“What?” He laughs in disbelief. “You’re one of the most stunning women I’ve ever seen in my life. How come you don’t have guys asking you out?” The man asks, completely dumbfounded.

“I mean, they do,” Liese shrugs slightly. “I just don’t go,” She explains. “My last relationship was… disappointing, to say the least. So, I kinda gave up on that and focused on work,” Liese confesses. “I have a lot of that, anyway,” She chuckles bitterly.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Henry says, sounding genuine. “And I hope you didn’t give up on it completely.”

“Well, I’m here, ain’t I?” She smiles at him.

“And I really appreciate it,” He says and gets a wink in response as she takes a bite of the food.

Liese’s phone vibrates on her lap and she has an idea. “This might sound idiotic, but do you mind if I take a photo of you?” She asks out of the blue. “I mean, you handsome as fuck, but I think it’d make my brother shut up,” She explains and he laughs.

“I don’t mind as long as you let me take photos of you too,” He bargains. “I’d love to brag about you to my brothers.”

“Photos?” She raises an eyebrow with a smile. “Well, that escalated quickly. I just need one,” She chuckles, raising her phone towards him. “Give me your best, Superman,” The woman says after taking a few pics of him serious and he chuckles at her words. “Thanks,” She bites her lips, choosing one picture.

“My turn?” He asks, taking his phone from the inner pocket of the jacket.

“Snap away, handsome,” Liese says, cropping the photo so it just shows from his cute chin and below. “Cameras don’t love me as they love you, though,” She smiles, glancing up at him. “I’m not a Hollywood star,” Liese teases him and looks back down at her phone and sending the photo to Gustav.

“I have to disagree on that,” The man says. “You look amazing,” He adds. “But I want you to pose for me, too.”

He’s snapping photos of her since she said he could but she poses to him anyway and he takes quite a few amazing shots. Then, the woman’s phone vibrates on her lap again with a new text from Gustav and she glances down at the notification.

Hm, Jaeger-LeCoultre. Fancy. Very. Fancy. Who’s that? Show me his face.

She rolls her eyes at the text and decides to turn off the phone. “What did he say?” Henry asks, amused by her reaction.

“I think the only thing he saw was your watch,” She says, rolling her eyes.

He chuckles. “So, poker night?” The man furrows his brows.

“Well,” Liese chuckles. “My brothers always included me in everything and my family never had the gender separation nonsense. Like, this is for boys and this is for girls,” She explains.

“That sounds like parenting done right,” Henry says, making her smile wider.

“Exactly! That’s how I want to do in my family, too,” She says.

The lamp goes off in his head as the man sips the wine. Finally, the questions that really matter to know one’s intentions for the long term.

“You want a family?” He asks.

She nods right away. “Of course. And a big one, too,” She replies, unintentionally pleasing Henry with it. “I think I’d feel void without at least three kids,” She chuckles. “I don’t know about you, but my teenage mornings were very chaotic with a family of seven and I honestly miss it.”

“Mine was, too,” Henry smiles, nodding too. “And I quite agree with you. I’d feel like something’s missing.”

“Yes!” The woman doesn’t hide her excitement. “But I’d like to have more than one girl so she won’t suffer alone the pain that is to share the bathroom with boys,” She chuckles.

“Two girls sound nice,” He agrees again. “To be honest, I can’t stand the thought of guys touching my baby girl or girls. So, I change my mind, no girls,” He says and she laughs.

“You’re so silly,” Liese shakes her head slightly. “So, tell me more about that role you’re trying to get. The one that has hair like mine,” She asks and she’s glad she did because Henry’s eyes light up right away.

For the rest of the diner, she listens Henry talking about this fantasy character named Geralt. He explains how he’s annoying the hell out of the producers since he heard Netflix would make a TV series of it.

They share desert and the actor doesn’t allow Liese to pay half of the bill. He helps her to put her coat the foyer of the restaurant and slips his own before they step out in the cold night. Once again, Henry makes sure to open and close the door for Liese before rushing to the driver’s seat.

Henry tries to persuade her into going to his house by saying that Kal misses her, but the woman declines politely. She has to wake up even earlier tomorrow for her shift at St. Thomas’, so, sleeping in his place is completely out of question.

The drive back to her apartment building is much faster but equally entertaining as they continue talking. However, when he parks in front of it and immediately reaches the door handle, Liese stops him with a hand on his arm.

“Thank you so much for the amazing evening, I had an amazing time,” Liese says honestly, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as she stares into his eyes.

“I had an amazing time, too,” Henry says, smiling at her. “You’re a wonderful woman,” He watches as she unbuckles her belt.

“And you’re a real gentleman,” She starts to lean closer to him. “A dying kind,” She whispers against his lips before sealing it with hers.

His large hands cup her face and she pulls him closer from the neck, deepening the kiss. Things start to get heated quickly and, with a simple hand on her waist, Henry pulls the woman over the car console to his lap. She runs her hands on his chest and he doesn’t realize as she stuffs something in the front pocket of his suit jacket.

She stops everything when he slides his lips to her neck and collarbone, squeezing her ass and making her moan. “I have to get in,” Liese whispers, capturing his lips one last time tonight. “Don’t let Kal have this one,” She says, patting his chest and confusing him as she climbs out of his lap. “Have a good night, Mr. Cavill. I’ll call you,” Liese pecks his lips and winks at him before opening the door and leaving his car.

Henry is completely baffled as he watches her hips sway with a semi hard-on into his pants. Then, a few seconds after she disappeared into the building, he chuckles, shaking his head.

“What a woman,” He says to himself, pushing his hair out of his face and restarting his car.

The man drives home and Kal greets him as usual. He puts food for the big bear before starting to undress. His mind was already going a thousand miles while thinking about Liese, but then he finds what she stuffed into his pocket. Slowly, he pulls the small, lacy piece of underwear from it.

Now it makes sense what she said about not letting Kal have that one.

Henry stares at it for a whole minute, wondering at what point the woman slid it off because he didn’t notice at all. She was definitely wearing it because it smells like her and it’s still warm. With his mouth still dropped open, Henry grabs his phone and snaps a photo of the pantie.

Are you kidding me? When did you take this off?, he texts her.

While we’re slightly making out in the car. I hope you liked the gift ;p, she texts back almost immediately.

I did, but I prefer taking it out myself, Henry replies.

I’m sorry, my shift at St. Thomas’ starts very early tomorrow. I’ll repay you soon, I promise xo, her last text says.

The man simply shakes his head with a smile on his face while Liese does the same in her apartment.

* * *

— CHAPTER V: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

[my-arlington-academia]

Hello! Could I get headcanons for the main 10 with a Scholar who likes to leave love letters around for them to find?

Yes! 💗 and thank you for the request ✊ I'm not sure if they're already dating or not? I'm gonna assume they are. (This turned out to be so long! I'm gonna flood the tags again...)

Alistair

- first time you gave him one, it was on his desk

- he tried to read as swiftly as he could, but as he was reading through it, he started getting weird looks from the other students

- not surprising, he was grinning the whole time

- Raquel tried to look over his shoulder

- "Oooohhh~ what's that? A love letter? You're so popular with the ladies haha."

- he immediately hides it and stuffs it in his bag

- "Psh. N-no? It was just uhhh... homework!"

- poor boy sucks at lying

- "Of course, I'm sure everyone smiles like that at homework."

- Alistair keeps on giving you glances during class

- he didn't have the time to read all of it but he did see that you signed it and your handwriting is really recognizable

- afterwards, he quietly reads it in his room

- his heart races at each word

- comes to your room as soon as he finishes reading it

- "Y/N I came here to th- than- uhhh? Yeah! To thank you! Haha..."

- for a hot second he forgot how words work

- is laughing out of nervousness

- after that, you keep giving him more and more letters

- he starts consciously expecting to find one on his desk when he walks in

- is really sad when there's nothing on the desk...

Axel

- he already receives a lot of love letters ("fanmail") so how can you give it to him while making sure that he knows it's yours right away?

- you thought of a silly trick to throw him off guard

- When he's walking through the hallways you call out his name and give him the letter, you tell him that "he dropped this"

- he's surprised so he automatically grabs the letter

- "Oh! Thank you for picking it up for- Wait. I don't think this is mine. Uh...?"

- too late! You ran away immediately

- it takes him a few seconds to understand what you just did

- he's excited! But of course he's not going to read it in the middle of the hallway

- skips the beginning of next class to read it carefully in the cafeteria

- he blushes furiously at how passionate the letter is

- he's persuaded that you could write a beautiful love song

- comes in class 20 minutes late and gets detention from Tadashi but to be honest, he doesn't even care anymore

- When he walks in, he gives you a subtle look but you know what that look means

- you're so embarrassed that you try to ignore him the whole period... until he stealthly throws a paperball on your desk

- you open it, it says "look my way"

- even though you're mortified, you do so anyway

- he waves at you and smirks all knowingly

- ohhhh boy, you look away again

- you hear a stifled laugh, he probably thinks your reaction was really cute

Claire

- she often lends you pretty little boxes with cookies in them

- but when you have to give the box back to her, you get an idea

- you put a love letter in the empty box and give it back to Claire

- she discovers it in the evening when she opens the box, expecting to only find crumbs you left behind

- blinks a few times and closes the box

- opens it again and the letter is still inside

- she thinks "it wasn't a hallucination!"

- reads it really slowly because she has to stop at each sentence to calm herself down

- the next day she gives you the box again with the new cookies she baked yesterday

- runs away as soon as you take the box

- you open it and there's a letter on top of the cookies, it's a response to your letter!

- seems like she was too shy to tell you in person

- to fit the theme of the letter: the cookies are heart-shaped

- you guys keep on exchanging letters through the box and it becomes a habit between the two of you

Ellie

- since she doesn't have a roommate, you slide the letter through the small space under her door

- finds it on the floor when she gets back to her room

- OwO whats dis?

- opens it and reads it super quickly

- she's so giddy that she reads over it multiple times

- sends you text messages with lots of emojis in them

- "Thank youuu 💖💕💗 you sweetheart!!! 💘💝😍😊😘"

- builds a robot to deliver letters between the two of you

- it knocks on the door and if you don't open it to take the letter, it goes back to Ellie

- she teaches you how to use the robot!

- "Don't worry! If someone else snatches the letter away from the robot it'll activate an alarm on my phone! And it's not like we need to sign the letters, we can use codenames!"

- You remind her that she's the only one in the pure and applied sciences department to create cute robots like those

- "Ah whoops... well uh, to be fair everyone already knows that we're dating so... no need to hide it!"

Karolina

- she probably doesn't care much about love letters

- she always thought that it's childish and extremely ridiculous

- that is until you gave her one

- the really first time you gave the letter to her directly or else she wouldn't read it, not knowing that it was from you

- she's all proud of herself while reading it

- she agrees with each statement but still blushes

- "Of course I'm gorgeous! You didn't have to write that part..."

- she's actually a sucker for books, especially from the romance genre

- you make her feel like a heroine from one of those books and she's secretly really happy about it

- but she'll never admit that of course

- after a while she gets inspired and tries to write one herself

- she thinks "I'll show you how it's done!"

- ends up getting really embarrassed at the thought of you reading the letter and doesn't give it to you until the end of the year

Neha

- after multiple attempts you somehow managed to sneak the letter in one of her sketchbooks

- too bad you couldn't see the surprise on her face when she found your letter

- she wanted to work for a few hours and brainstorm ideas for some new outfits

- but her plans went out of the window

- she read it. Put it on the side and started thinking about you during a solid 20 minutes

- wants to thank you but doesn't know how to do it without sounding like a little kid

- decides to send you a text for now, but she'll also write you a letter later

- "Thank you a lot for the letter. I really appreciate it."

- thinks that maybe it's a little bit too cold so she adds a heart emoji at the end

- cringes to herself while sending it

- gets back to work but sometimes she draws your face on the side

- scribbles all over it when she realizes what she's doing

- "This is not professional! If I have to show my sketchbook to someone and they see this, they won't take me seriously..."

- decides to write you a letter first or else she won't be able to focus

Raquel

- This is a hard one

- Raquel always moves from place to place without stop so it's hard to be sneaky with her

- eventually you slip the letter in her bag but you don't know how much time it'll take for her to find it

- like you thought it took her a few days

- when she did, she was very vocal about it

- she ran to you and almost jumped on you

- hugs you and thanks you hundreds of times

- "I love you too!!! You're so sweet Y/N..."

- becomes much more flirty, she was already confident but now it's even worse (or better? 😌)

- puts the letter on the wall of her room and shows it off to Claire

- "Look at that Claire! It seems like my godly charm cannot be stopped."

- Raquel starts carefully checking her bag everyday in hopes of finding another letter from you

- and even when she doesn't find anything, it gets her into a working mood

- "Might as well do my homework I guess..."

- becomes much more responsible with homework now that she checks her bag everyday

- your love literally helped her to get better grades

Tadashi

- This was a risky mission

- you had to sneak into the student council room and leave it on his desk

- they had a meeting this afternoon and Tadashi has been in a bad mood lately

- Well, to be fair he's always done with everybody's BS but this time it was worse than usual

- he finds the letter and gets confused right away

- wants to read it but he's having a meeting

- he's really fidgety the whole time, for some reason he has a feeling that it's from you though he can't explain why

- once everyone leaves the room he opens the letter

- all of his stress dies down, he falls back on his chair and sighs

- goes to find you and brings you to the council room, he makes you sit on his chair

- you tell him that you can't be here but he smiles and answers "Oh? You say that now even though you snuck in earlier to give me a secret love letter of all things?"

- he teases you with endearment and massages your back to thank you

- asks you if you'll write more (because he loved it) and you promise to do so if he promises to take more breaks

Tegan

- Tegan often invites you to play videos games with him (or to marathon some shows/anime/movies/whatever)

- you left the letter behind for him but he didn't catch the drift

- goes to your room to give it back

- "Um... you forgot this, I think..."

- you tell him that it's for him

- "Wait, really? You can just text me, you know? It's quicker and way easier than writing letters."

- oooohhhh boy. He really doesn't get it, you have to spell it out

- "A l-love letter? For me!?"

- "Tegan. We're dating."

- "Oh right! Sorry... I always forget that, it seems like I'm in a dream..."

- reads it in front of you while you're paying close attention to his reactions

- and to no surprise: he's a blushing mess

- you're fully satisfied, all that time was worth it

- he says that he'll repay you with a "love text message" which sounds like he's being lazy, but really knowing how... "unique" his handwriting is, you're glad...

- but it was not just a text message.

- "Sorry, I went a bit overboard 🙏🙏"

- his text has a 23 pages long file attached to it

- he wrote a really really long essay explaining in details why you're "so awesome" and "the best person in the world"

Tyler

- after classes are over, when he's working on a new painting he spends almost all of his time in the art room

- that's when you strike!

- you know he has a habit of sitting in the corner of the room so that's where you leave the letter

- honestly, he was in a slump lately because he felt like he was doing a really half-assed job with his new art piece

- but your letter gave him so much motivation that he finished the painting in a day

- "This is crazy Y/N! Reading your letter gave me the same rush as drinking 5 monster drinks in the span of 2 hours!"

- "Uhhh... Please don't do that?"

- laughs at how worried you look and asks you to write more to give him strength

- you say no at first but he pulls out your letter out of his pocket and starts reading it out loud in the middle of the hallway

- "Ssshhh! People might hear!"

- "Yeah, so? That's kinda the point but if you promise to write me more I'll stop~"

- you know he's just teasing you but it's still so embarrassing...

- in the end you give in out of shame however you have no idea just how much this letter helped him

- whenever he feels down or like he's not good enough he pulls out one of your letters and reads it

- he keeps all of them safe in a box, they're his treasures

[catty-words]

Femslash February: Day 14. Love Letter (ao3)

———————————————————————

“I’m going to pick up dinner,” Beth says, wrapping a scarf around her neck. “I should be back in twenty.”

“Thanks, babe,” Valencia says, turning away from her task of setting up their desk to blow her girlfriend a kiss.

A few moments after the front door falls shut, Valencia finishes with the box she’d been unpacking. She grabs the next one from the stack on the windowsill, noticing Heather’s handwriting scrawled along the front.

She hums thoughtfully to her herself, using scissors to slice through the thick layer of tape. Sure enough, the contents of the box don’t look familiar.

She’s about to re-tape add it to the pile of things she and Heather got mixed up while packing together when a purple Trapper Keeper catches Valencia’s eye. A series of colorful doodles litter the front of it, compelling her to pull the hefty binder out of the box.

Already missing home and her friends, Valencia runs her fingers over a graffiti-style doodle that says #GurlGroup4Evah and smiles to herself. She notices that some of the art curls around the front to the inside, so, curiously, she undoes the Velcro and flips the keeper open.

Immediately, a note flutters to the ground.

“Shoot,” Valencia says, dropping the keeper back into the box and bending over to get the sheet of paper. She freezes when she notices her name on the top, and then gingerly plucks the letter off the floor to get a closer look.

Dear Valencia, it says.

Y’know how Dr. Shin’s got Rebecca on this big letter writing campaign? Well, I gotta admit, I’m kinda intrigued by the letter as a vehicle for closure. You might be asking, why do you need closure, Heather? So I’m just gonna come right out and say it: I’ve got a pretty serious crush on you.

Valencia’s heart jumps up into her throat, and she presses the sheet of paper into her chest. She should stop reading there. Heather didn’t actually send her this note, and it’d be rude to keep going.

After a second, Valencia glances back down.

I’ve had it for a while. Definitely since that time Rebecca kidnapped you, but, if I’m being honest (and I’m basically writing this letter to myself, so why shouldn’t I be?) it dates back even before that, to Rebecca’s weird party bus trip. I mean, it didn’t really mean anything back then. You’re hot and it was fun to watch you boss around Greg and Josh. So. A superficial crush at its finest.

The more I got to know you, though, the more it was, idk, more than that. I admire the way you take everything so seriously, but that you still open the door to a friend in need when you’re in the middle of a crisis. I mean the being hot thing definitely still factors in, too. And I feel happy whenever you’re around. Like, I don’t even have to see you. My day is instantly improved even if you just text me. And that’s huge.

But it seems dumb to keep carrying this torch around. For the sake of the gurl group You’re obviously straight and I’m not the kind of Hector and I have something. He also makes me happy just by being around, and it’s not fair of me to keep lowkey pining after you while I’m with him.

So, uh, here’s hoping just writing about my feelings is enough to make them go away. It would suck if I actually had to send the letter for this thing to work.

Yours no longer. Or in friendship. Or something.

Heather

Valencia’s in the middle of reading the letter over again when she hears rustling in the hall and then the sound of keys jangling. Panicked, she folds the letter up and slips it into the front pocket of her hoodie.

“Living in the city’s so cool,” Beth’s already saying before she has the door fully open. “There’s this costume shop at the end of our block that I think we should check out and like three different restaurants to try.”

Valencia tries to will her smile into something resembling natural. “That sounds great.”

Beth continues to describe her foray out into the neighborhood, but Valencia’s mind wanders to the ticket she booked back home for Christmas.

Later that night, after Beth’s asleep, Valencia sits down at the desk and rips a piece of lined paper out of a random notebook.

After a second of staring off into space, she starts to write.

Dear Heather…

[itzfabi]

A Very Unmerry Birthday

Who: @dagnyjuniper & @itzfabi

When: Dagny’s Birthday aka Princess Day 

Where: 1160 Wizard Way

What: This chatzy is from March don’t come for us we KNOW. Also: After Dagny kissed Fab at his birthday party back in November, Fab decides to return the favor thanks to a few months of reflection on whether or not he’d like to date his best friend. Things do not go according to plan. 

Fab hadn't really known what had been on his mind since the dance. It had been a month, and he was still feeling weird about that Secret Admirer thing -- of course, it was just Massie, and she was doing it to be a friend, and that was cool of her. But he'd kind of hyped it up in his head that it could've been Dagny...after their kiss on his birthday, of course. And he had no clue why, after all was said and done, he still couldn't get his mind off of it -- off of her. Maybe now that Kally was all official with her hot new boyfriend, he was feeling some compulsion to move on, too, and his brain was getting alll confused over what kind of 'like' he felt for Dagny. But in any case, she had said that she wanted to spend her birthday with him and only him and how could he say no to that? Besides...Did that mean she felt something with him at the dance, too? He had asked her to dance. Maybe the spark wasn't so one-sided after all. After setting up the big, pink kiddie princess tent that he'd rush-ordered online, Fabi waited inside her cottage (after getting her roommates to let him in and eventually split) with the handmade birthday cake in hand, waiting for her to come home. As soon as the door opened, his reaction may have been a little premature, as he instantly blew into his party horn and exclaimed, "Happy Birthday!" before she could even really enter the cottage.

Dagny had gone out on a limb by saying she didn't want an official Princess Day. Typically, it had to be some huge celebration put on by the Neverlanders, but she figured after she'd made such a blunder by sleeping with Marsh on DJ's birthday, it might be best to keep things lowkey for her own party. She knew Kally was busy hanging out with Leverett, or whatever she was doing to spend her time nowadays, so she hit up Fab to be her official birthday plans. Things seemed to finally be balanced out with them after the Valentine's Day Ball, so she wasn't worried about things being super awkward. Wow, she was starting to realize that maybe birthdays in general just weren't something she's particularly skilled at. She opened the door to her cottage, expecting Fab to show up once she'd sent him a text that she was back in her cottage, but upon entering through the door she was startled by the sound of a party horn. "Ah!" She jumped back, nearly falling into the door frame. It took her a few seconds to recover from the sudden horn noise before she straightened up and finally saw Fab standing there, cake in hand. "Jingles, Fab! You wanna spend my birthday taking me to the hospital?" She joked, setting her stuff down on the floor before moving to give her friend a careful side hug so as not to knock the cake out of his hands. She looked around at the princess tent, "Ha! Very cute." She turned back to Fab, "Thanks for coming to celebrate my birthday. I totally didn't want to have to deal with all nine million Neverlanders trying to throw me a party."

Fab didn't realize that maybe he should've waited for her to recognize his presence before going all out with the exclamation until Dagny screamed. Letting the party horn fall from his lips, Fab started toward her to apologize but she seemed to recover quickly. "Sorry!" he exclaimed through laughter, "I guess I was so excited I got a little ahead of myself. You're lucky I would've needed both hands to set off a party popper," he chuckled before leaning into the girl's embrace. "No problem," he shrugged, making his way over to the tent. "I mean, from what I've heard, Princess Day sounds like a good time for them, not necessarily for the birthday girls, though. So I'm just honored to be your guest of choice," he smiled warmly before gesturing out toward the tent. "After you, Princess." He was joking, mostly, but hey -- it was still Princess Day, he was gonna milk that for as many laughs as possible. Grabbing two forks, Fab made a move for the light switch, flipping it down so now the only source of light in the cottage were the glow-in-the-dark stars that he'd stuck to the ceiling. They'd be able to see, since their legs and heads would probably be poking out from either sides of the tent anyway. "Ta-da!" Fab smirked, rather proud of himself as he crawled into the tent.

Dagny climbed into the small tent, making herself as comfortable as she could in the limited amount of space. "I'm apparently only princess by birth and not by popular vote. I'm pretty sure my little sister made the Not My Princess hashtag spread even to Pixie Hollow, where there isn't a even a need for hashtags," Dagny groaned. It was no secret that she was constantly stressed over the idea of someday having to take over her parents' job of overseeing literally all of the fairy business when it came to changing seasons and distributing pixie dust. Dagny stared up at the stars stuck to the ceiling, pretty amazed she had a friend like Fab who would do this sort of cheesy stuff for her. "Excellent ambience choice," She congratulated him, wriggling around a little to make more room for him. "Seriously, you're the best. I know we haven't hung out as much since-" She paused for a second, trying to figure out if she should bring up her disastrous kiss attempt, "-your birthday. But, new year, new me...She says in March of the aforementioned new year." She laughed awkwardly, hoping to slide right on by that topic, regretting even bringing it up in the first place. "So, tell me again about the weird secret Valentine's Day gifts?" She asked, grabbing one of the forks that Fab had brought in preparation to dive right into that sweet, sweet cake. "You hadn't like, planned to serenade me Happy Birthday or anything, right? Because this cake is about to get demolished."

Fab gave a pout, not really one to understand monarchy like that, but it seemed like it must suck to not be liked by the people you were gonna rule someday. "Well until they figure out some kind of coups, they're stuck with you, so they're gonna have to deal," he chuckled, amused by the mere idea of anyone they knew from Pixie Hollow staging a coups. They were more of a talkative bunch who would fight with nothing but a hashtag, he was certain. After making himself comfortable alongside her, Fab gave a contented sigh. They were so close to each other, the only thing between them being the cake, and he didn't think much of it until she brought up his birthday. Ah, yes, the thing he hadn't been able to get off of his mind since it happened. "Hey, I think a New Years resolution is valid at any point in the year -- we're not even halfway there yet, 2018 is still relatively new!" Fabi smirked, flipping onto his side to face Dagny once she asked about his "secret admirer". "Oh, no, you don't want to hear me do that -- dig in," he approved, nudging the cake toward her, before actually answering her question. "Well...Massie is really sweet, and knew that Valentine's Day -- specifically the dance -- was gonna be hard for me, so she sent me a bunch of secret admirer stuff, like a bunch of cards and an Edible Arrangement and a fleshlight -- you know, cute stuff like that -- and I really had no clue it was her until she told me at the dance." He wanted desperately to add that he had kind of worked up in his mind that it could have been Dagny behind it all, as kind of a segue into talking about the slightly-confusing things he'd been feeling since. But instead of doing that, Fab stabbed his fork into the cake and shoved a bite into his mouth to shut himself up.

Dagny went ahead and forked a piece of cake as soon as Fab gave her permission to do so. She'd be lying to herself if she said she didn't keep Fab around partly for his superior baking skills. "Oh, right," Dagny thought on that. She'd almost forgotten that Kally and Fab had broken up around that same time the year previous. She was on board with Fab until he got to the part about the fleshlight. "That Massie...she's always trying to make you...feel good?" Was all Dagny could come up with in the moment after her original plan to commend Fab's roommate had been thrown by the sudden appearance of the sex toy. "Did you have any idea who it was? Like, could you sus out Massie's handwriting or something? Or was it totally a surprise?" She questioned, finding the whole story rather funny. She knew Fab had great roommates, having hung out with all of them several times, but the secret admirer thing was really something special.

Fab laughed, nodding in agreement that Massie sure was special. "Yep! Gotta love her," he chuckled before taking another bite of cake. Dagny asked, then, if he knew it had been Massie all along. He blinked a few times, chewing the bite that he had in his mouth very slowly as he worked up the nerve to speak the truth. "No. I actually...Thought it could've been you. You know, since my birthday and all," he nodded slowly, rolling over onto his back to avoid seeing Dagny's reaction. He stared at the ceiling, taking inspiration from the glowing star stickers above him, and continued. "And I don't know...After I got out of my head about it, and like...really sat down and thought things through, I wouldn't have minded if it was you." He rolled over onto his side, facing her again. "I actually wanted it to be you."

Dagny almost choked on the hunk of cake she was devouring when Fab told her he thought it might have been her sending him the gifts. Dagny started to protest immediately when Fab brought up the birthday thing again, but she was cut off by Fab saying he wanted it to be her. She set her fork down slowly, trying to fill the pause with something before she was forced to speak. "Oh," She started, "Yeah, well, you know the birthday thing was just...it was just an accident. I read the whole situation wrong and plus there's like, Kally. I mean, talk about a large shadow to cower behind..." She waved her arm, referencing the place where their third friend normally sat. Dagny looked around the tent, trying to find something else to look at other than Fab, but there wasn't much else around she could stare at without looking weird, so her eyes ended up back on Fab. "Okay, confession time," She swallowed nervously, "I did have a crush on you. Or I do. Since like, high school. It's super embarrassing and I wish I hadn't told you, but I'm actually kinda glad I did because I've been sitting on that secret by myself for literal years."

"Oh no, yeah, for sure," Fab said over Dagny's rambling about what had had happened on his birthday, but then knit his brow when she mentioned Kally. "Whoa, you'd never be in Kally's shadow," he said tenderly. He could only imagine how Dagny felt being the third among him and Kally for so long, and how weird it must have been for her. She confessed, then, that she had a crush on him, which he already kind of knew given what happened on his birthday. But, judging by the way she was acting right now, he had thought that maybe she no longer felt that way, so he was surprised when she corrected herself and said she still did. He smiled, then, moving closer to her -- well, as close as he could with half of a cake between them. "I'm glad you told me too. Cause I don't know, after you kissed me -- or, tried to kiss me -- I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I know it sounds crazy, especially considering I dated Kally for five whole years, but my mind's been so focused on that that maybe I missed something that could've been just as great. Or, you know, more great -- you never know." He got quiet, trying to feel out where they could possibly go from here now that they'd both pretty much admitted feelings for each other. Without really thinking, something in his body told him that the only way to go was forward. So he reached over, caught Dagny by the cheek, and placed a determined kiss on her lips.

Dagny listened to Fab basically admit he also had feelings for her too, and when she should've been ecstatic that the guy she'd been crushing on for literal years liked her back, something just felt off. She was about to protest that he shouldn't discount his relationship with Kally just because dating her would have been different when Fab reached over and kissed her. Kissing Fab somehow felt like the changing seasons and the end of the world all at once. On one hand, him kissing her back was the thing she had imagined for years and on the other it was also the only secret she'd ever kept from both Fab and Kally. It just felt slightly wrong, like somehow she was the other woman when Kally and Fab had been broken up for over a year. Of course, she couldn't properly think all this over when Fab's lips were still on hers, so she pulled away begrudgingly. "Okay, but we can't just suddenly be-" She motioned back and forth between them, "-together. Doesn't that feel odd to you?"

Fab furrowed his brow when his kiss was met with more confusion than excitement from Dagny. Not that his ego was that big, but he liked to think that if she really liked him as much as she said she did, and for as long as she said she did, she'd be a little more...elated and would reciprocate the butterflies that were fluttering around in his stomach. "I mean...No. Not really. Kally's moved on," he chuckled a little bit awkwardly, knowing he had no right to feel some type of way about Kalasin and Leverett, which he didn't, but it was still weird. "It's time I did, too, and who to better move on with than my beautiful, awesome best friend? And if it's too odd then we can go back to being friends, it shouldn't be that hard." He was always the optimist, though he knew that he'd tried the same thing with Kally and it didn't exactly work out how they'd planned. But maybe things with Dagny would be different.

Dagny thought about what Fab said. It would be awesome to finally get to experience what she’d been fantasizing about literally since high school, and she was almost convinced to say yes but Kally’s face kept popping up in the back of her mind. “I really thought I could if ever the opportunity presented itself, but I definitely cannot do anything without talking to Kally first. Even if you’re both over each other it wouldn’t feel morally correct to let her know first.” Of course, talking to Kally proved more difficult than usual since she was almost always with Leverett now, but she’d find a way. She sat up suddenly, putting her head in her hands. “UGH,” She groaned, “I didn’t even think about the fact that I’m a fairy and you’re a human. There’s no way I could stay in Walt for the summer and there’s also no good way to get in touch with anyone in Pixie Hollow if you’re not in Pixie Hollow. Especially because I would just sound like bells to you! Oh my God! Why have I never thought of this before!?” She knew that was a reach, but in this moment in time all her brain could think of were reasons why they shouldn’t be together. It was contradictory to literally her whole life right before this moment, but maybe she was just scared. She saw how Kally and Fab’s relationship had ended and how awkward it had been for them afterwards. If the same thing happened to her and Fab their entire friend group would completely fall apart and Dagny didn’t know what she would do without Fab in her life. “Sorry. I think I’m ruining my own birthday celebration.”

Fab gave a sigh, totally understanding where she was coming from. Should he have been more apprehensive, too? Was he being a bad “friend” to Kally by not really considering her feelings on the matter too much? To him, she’d moved on, but he hadn’t really thought of how this would affect her and Dagny’s friendship. “You’re right, you’re right,” he agreed, slumping back down onto his back, feeling a little like his pride had been shot. Then Dagny shot up, and began ranting about a bunch of things that had never even crossed his mind. “Whoa, whoa -- “ Fab said in an attempt to slow her down, “We were gonna be friends with you as a fairy and me as a human, is there really that much of a difference?” he attempted, but like -- of course, there was. Couples had sex and intimate moments that would require them to be at least within the same realm of size proportions. “You’re not ruining anything, I just -- it sucks that we’ve got so much working against us.” Fab shrugged, finding no other way to say it. “Should I leave?”

Dagny hung her head in defeat. It really should not be this hard to just date Fab. It really should not be. She guessed it was just her inner saboteur working against her yet again. “I’ll talk to Kally,” She promised. What she didn’t mention was that ever since Dagny had kissed Fab at his birthday, talking to Kally felt like the equivalent of swallowing knives and therefore was avoided at basically all costs. She reached over and squeezed Fab’s hand, “Usually I’d say something kinda inspirational and very liberal about how our differences make us stronger, but considering that our differences make me three inches tall and a fairy princess, I’d say it definitely is working against us,” She agreed, letting out a huge sigh at the end for punctuation. “That’s probably a good idea,” Dagny said when Fab asked if he should leave. “I’ll call you tomorrow, and thank you again for the cake for this.” She motioned to the playhouse around them and the stars on the ceiling. “Still friends. No matter how awkward this gets from here on out,” She attempted a joke, trying to lighten the mood. She wasn’t sure if it landed or not, but she was already crawling on her knees out of the tent so she couldn’t gauge Fab’s reaction. She stood up and walked over the door, holding it open for him. “Again, I promise I’ll talk to Kally and if you still like me after that then we’ll see what happens.”

Fab nodded, agreeing that talking to Kally was probably best for the both of them -- or, all three of them -- in this situation. He really wished things were different. Not that he and Kally had never dated so that he and Dagny could give it a go without any of this awkwardness, but moreso he wished that society didn’t have these weird rules about dating a friend’s ex or that fairies can’t realistically be with humans outside of Walt. He knew it wasn’t true that he didn’t deserve her just because she was a princess, but boy was that kind of how it felt. Fab got up with a shrug, brushing off her gratitude. “It’s really no problem, anything for my best friend,” he nodded, before cracking a half-hearted smile at her joke. He knew she was just trying to make this less weird, but Fab didn’t think that was very possible. “Still friends,” he agreed as he made a move toward the door. He fought the urge to say ‘Of course I’ll still like you’ when Dagny gave him the opportunity, but bit his tongue instead. If it was meant to work out, it would. “Great -- we’ll see,” he nodded as if they’d just made a business deal and leisurely walked out of the cottage. So this was how his love life was going to be now…great.

[himbowelsh]

What if the whole time Webster's trying to figure out who the thief is, he's starting a relationship with the infuriating man that usually sits outside the bakery that's next to synagogue Webster passes every day in his way to work. Bonus if Joe didn't know Webster was the detective assigned to his case until he was into deep.

Anonymous asked: Would you like to write a prompt for Webgott in Police/Criminals AU? I’m really curious how it would end for them.

AN: I couldn’t resist turning this into a prompt. I’m literally in love with this idea and it makes the whole scenario so much more interesting!

David trips over the curb.

It's the last straw, the cherry on top of what is already a terrible, terrible morning. He makes a furious sputtering noise, kicks a nearby flowerpot, and almost sends his coffee flying across the street.

It's an overreaction. He knows this, as much as he knows he must look like an idiot -- in his business suit and tie, red faced and furious. He doesn't really have any excuse: been a hard week, and an even worse month. He gets what's coming to him a second later, when his foot connects with the clay flower pot, sending a spike of pain through his ankle.

He draws his foot back to him, cursing under his breath. As a taxi speeds sat him, he shrinks into his too-large suit and wishes he could be invisible.

"Jesus, breathe a little."

The unexpected voice startles him. He jumps, nearly dropping his coffee again, and reels around to face the speaker. It takes him a second of scanning the sidewalk before his eyes land on him; a thin, lanky man balancing a coffee in one hand, sitting outside the coffee shop and lazily reclining with his feet up on the nearest table. Dark eyes regard David from beneath full eyelids, lips pulled up in a mean smirk.

He can't explain it, but something about the man makes him want to kick him. David huffs, drawing himself up with all the dignity he can muster, and scowls at the man. "You try breathing when your coffee's too hot, your bagel's too cold, and you're already fifteen minutes late for work."The guy considers this for a moment before shrugging. "First world problems."

He doesn't know why he's bothering. Clearly this guy doesn't have any job or responsibilities, considering he's sitting outside of a coffee shop in the middle of the morning instead of going anywhere. David needs to get to work, and fast, because David is a responsible adult.

He scans the traffic-packed road again, looking for a place to cross. Cars crowd the streets wherever he looks, beeping and stalling around each other. His lips curl in frustration. "I should have just called a cab, dammit...""You can probably make it in half the time if you sprint,” chimes Slothful Smirking Man, who’s apparently still not done. “I mean, if you can run in that monkey suit."David shoots a harassed glance over his shoulder. "Some people like to look nice for work.""Some people need a Xanax and a vacation,” the man fires back. His feet make a dull thud against the ground as he abruptly sits up straight. “Calm down, fuck. Being late for work one day isn't gonna destroy your career. Just take a breath, and eat your stupid bagel."David stares at the man; he stares back, impassive. For a moment, no one speaks. David hardly dares to breathe over the pulse he can hear pounding in his head, but he forces a few deep breaths into his lungs anyway.

The guy isn’t wrong. It’s a new day. He’s healthy, he’s alive, and he’s got his second-favorite bagel in his hands. Sobel isn’t their commander anymore, so he isn’t going to be crucified for being a few minutes late for work. Everything is alright, all things considered.

He finally exhales, and gives the belligerent man what he hopes passes for a smile. “You've got a point,” he says. “Thanks. Have a nice day."The man nods, leaning back in his seat. "You too, guy," he says, and that’s all David hears before he’s sprinting across the crosswalk.

He’s got a job to do. There’s no need to stress himself out, but he also doesn’t have time for distractions.

When he gets to the station, everything is about the same as expected. Guarnere and Toye are lounging in chairs on opposite sides of the room, tossing a tennis ball back and forth. Each throw barely clears the head of Lipton, who is hunched over his desk in the middle of an impressive pile of paperwork. Welch is texting someone on his phone; by the tiny grin on his face, it’s probably not work-related. Babe looks hungover, and is drooling into his palm like a middle schooler asleep in math class.

David sighs and settle down at his desk. Back to work as usual. He wasn’t sure why he thought taking a day off would help clear his head, but it’s only making it harder to get back in the game. He’s not viewing anything with fresh eyes. There are still no new leads in his museum theft investigation, and if the crook’s pattern holds up, he can expect another caper tonight.

He just doesn’t know where, or what, or -- most importantly -- how.

“Hey, Web,” Babe calls. David, mouth wide open and full of bagel, turns to look at him, and barely manages to catch a letter tossed at his head. Past the bags under his eyes, Babe offers him a mischievous grin. “Letter came for you this morning.”

“Thanks.” David takes a sip of his (cold) coffee and carefully examines the envelope. There’s an address handwritten in big, blocky print. He immediately knows that this isn’t a bill or some kind of notice. Who actually sends letters anymore?

His frown deepens when he opens the letter to reveal a folded piece of paper. He recognizes the same handwriting as on the front, and blinks down at the scrawled message in dumb shock before his eyes widen.

WEB --

   YOU THINK YOU CAN CATCH ME? YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING. IT’S FUN TO WATCH YOU SCRAMBLE AFTER ME. BETTER LUCK TONIGHT.

                -- EIN FREUND AUS DER HÖLLE

Webster grits his teeth and slams it on the table. The bastard has done it again, and now he has one more piece of evidence to add to the growing case file that’s getting him nowhere.

Whoever this crook is, the only thing he knows about him for sure is that he hates him.

The fact is that he doesn’t know another way. As soon as they’ve become conscious of each other’s existence, the strange guy -- who, it occurs to David, must have sat outside the same coffee shop every morning without David even noticing -- is impossible to ignore. He’s loud, he’s sarcastic, and always has a passing comment for David whenever he sees him.

After a few weeks, David finds himself looking forward to the guy’s Words of the Day. He starts looking for him. When he goes into the shop for coffee, he’ll say hello; when he walks out, he’ll wish him a good day. He still kind of wants to kick the guy’s teeth in, but his mornings wouldn’t be the same without him.

Only after he realizes the guy is actually on his mind at work does he decide that something needs to be done. He confides in Lipton, and his friend’s advice is simple: start by having a real conversation.

So, one morning, after a sleepless night spent pouring over his evidence file for the museum burglaries, David drags himself out of bed half an hour early and sets off for the coffee shop.

The stranger does him a favor. David doesn’t have to approach him first, because he speaks up as soon as he sees David approaching the shop. "You're here early,” he calls, and David offers a nervous smile."Wasn't sure if you'd be too, but I figured taking a chance never hurt anyone.""It’s Saturday. I’m waiting for the Shabbat service. It’ll be a while before it starts.” The guy inclines his head across the street, towards the synagogue David has never taken much notice of. Then his eyes scan over the man before him, and he sucks on his lower lip. “I guess ‘taking a chance’ explains the look, though.”

David tries not to blush, and probably fails. He was in such a rush to get out of the house that he hadn’t found the time to slip into his usual shirt. He’s just in a white shirt and tie today, a belt holding up pants that are too small anyway. He didn’t even shave; stubble lines his jaw. He looks like a mess, and standing in front of this man now, he feels like it.

Still, he steels himself and takes a deep breath. "My name's David."The guy stares at him for a second that feels like an eternity. David can’t hear anything over the roaring of his pulse in his ears. His heart is in his throat. There’s no reason for him to be this nervous, but he feels like it’s his first day in the field and he’s just come face to face with a suspect. It’s torture, and he hangs off every second of silence before the man opens his mouth.

"Joe,” he says. His lips curl up into that same infuriating smirk. “You feel like grabbing a coffee?"David doesn’t know if he’s heard right; and when he realizes he has, he can hardly believe it. His face breaks into a blinding grin, and his cheeks ache from the force. "Yeah,” he says, offering the guy a hand to help him up. “Coffee would be fantastic, actually."

His hand grasps Joe’s, and he lifts him to his feet. David doesn’t know what this is, but he knows it’s the start of something. He can’t wait to find out more about the mysterious man who’s so unexpectedly become a part of his life.

[its-chips-main]

i was gonna draw a bunch of bears for @pinkisntmyfavoritecolor as thanks for the bday card they wrote me but i still cant draw bears so i whipped up this pal instead. i was gonna add some text like “your kindness will not go forgotten” but my handwriting sucks

[ultears]

Could you tell how you make those wonderful gif edits, and what effects and apps you usually use? I just love them!!! If possible can u make a tutorial please? Thanks in advance ❤❤

First of all, thank you so much!! That means a lot because I put lots of effort into making them. :) Second of all, you didn’t actually precise what gifset you’ve seen and therefore what effects you want me to explain, but I’m going to guess it’s this one because it has like, 500 different things going on :’) (if not, feel free to send me another ask specifying which gifset, although basically, any effect I’ve ever used is in this one, so it’ll be explained) 

I only use Photoshop CS6 for all of my gifsets (I don’t use anything to make the caps/frames because I feel like it’s easier to just make them in CS6) and I use a Macbook Pro if that does anything? Idk, just for the screenshots I guess haha

For these tutorials, I’m going to assume you have basic GIF-making knowledge but if you need a tutorial for that too, just send me an ask and I’ll teach you how I do it (because everyone does it slightly differently)

Disclaimer: I’m in no way an expert, most of the things I know about GIFs are thanks to the tutorials of people before me and lots of trial and error. Also, I suck at explaining things. 

I’m gonna put this under a cut or else it’s gonna take so much space oml

GRADIENTED GIFS

So these gifs are probably the easiest to make out of all of the ones in this set. I’ll be using the hand for the example because it was slightly harder to get there (you’ll see why shortly)

So you start by making your basic gif: (I edit all my gifs at 540px but these are saved at 268px for Tumblr dimensions)

Because this is a colour-matching gifset and not a vibrancy, I skip my step of basic colouring (which usually includes lots of curves, vibrancy, and selective colour, and you can see that the most in my lyrical fairy tail gifsets) Instead, I’m going straight for the gradient layers. I start off with a full black and white to get the colour contrasts, and then I put the gradient of the colours I want:

Now for this gifset, I had a basic self-made psd (if you will) that I copied on every gif to get the same colour, so I’ll do that now (it’s made up of curves, vibrancy, brightness/contrast and exposure layers)

Now, I didn’t think there was enough of a contrast between Yuuri’s hand and the background, so I added a curves, brightness/contrast and levels layer BEFORE the gradient ones so that it would affect the entire colour schemes to get this:

And there you go, that’s the gif! The one with the skates didn’t use that last step because I liked the contrast between the skates and the background already without additional layers, so that’s why it was easier. I also added snow on it like I did with all other gifs in the set, so I’ll do a separate tutorial in here for that.

TYPOGRAPHY

To be honest, I wouldn’t really be able to explain these very well considering it was my first time using them, so here are the links to the tutorials I followed. It was lots of trial and error until I got the method down, but I was happy with the end result, so I’d recommend them.

Typing the name: [x] (I actually did this one without a tutorial but this one resembles what I did, I was just too lazy to put the cursor bar lol) 

Writing “love”: [x]

So, if you followed the tutorial the same way I did, you’re going to get something like this:

Similarly to the hand, I copied the gradient I wanted (I didn’t need to put the black and white one since those are already the base colours): 

However, because I wanted the opposite colours, I clicked the little “reverse” button in the properties > gradient map to get this:

From there, I added the same PSD as earlier to reach the colour scheme:

And there you go, that’s it for the text ones! Just missing the snow. I know this makes it look simple but that’s because I didn’t make the tutorial myself for the hardest part, lol. (The handwriting one took me about an hour, so don’t despair if it takes lots of time because it’s definitely a hard effect to get a handle of)

AI / GLASSES

Alrighty! Well, these two are the object ones, and probably would’ve been considered the easiest ones if I didn’t have to deal with finding the exact image I was mentally picturing for the glasses, whoops. 

So the “Love” character comes from episode 5 when Yuuri presents his theme. I tried taking the frames where the sign doesn’t move. So, we start off with that basic gif:

Over these frames, I placed a ‘colour fill’ layer that matches the colour of the board on which Yuuri wrote, which actually gives us a completely opaque colour over everything. 

After that, I added a layer mask so we could see only the writing of the character through the fill layer, hiding everything else in the frame: 

This doesn’t look like a gif because I covered up everything that moves, but it is one! You’ll only see movement later when I add the snow, which is the only thing that moves in both this gif and the glasses one. Now, like the other gifs, I added the gradient (also reversed like the writing to get the proper colours) and the psd to make it darker like the others as well, and you get to this:

And there you go! That’s how I made the Ai gif. You can also do it like I’m about to do the glasses, with a singular screencap, turned into multiple frames.

So for the glasses, I searched online for an image that I thought resembled Yuuri’s glasses and found these, which I was satisfied with: [x]

To get to the shape I wanted, I messed around with the image size and the canvas size until I got them approximatively the size I wanted them in my usual 540x304 canvas size, like this:

Now that I had my image, I converted it to a frame timeline like with most of my gifs, and copied the image into multiple frames so I had this:

Now, for all intents and purposes, although nothing is moving (yet), this is a gif because it has the multiple frames going on a loop. Like with all of the other gifs I’ve made, I put the gradient layers (this one had a black and white one because there’s blue in this one as well) and the PSD:

And that’s it! Again, just missing the snow to make it look like a moving gif. I’m guessing that you can see my pattern at this point, haha! Now I’m going to screw it over with the final two gifs, that are a little different. Whoops. 

CHARACTER CUT-OUT GIFS

Welcome, friends, to the most time-consuming form of gif I have ever made. Luckily, only the cutting out of the character takes time, the rest is pretty straightforward from what I’ve done in the past gifs, and you can reuse the cut-out characters for any future gifsets as well (I used these cutouts from a previous gifset I made, this one here) 

I learned how to do these cutout gifs (well I had a general idea on how to do it but her explanations make it so much clearer) thanks to bae’s @katsuukis ‘s tutorial here, so you should probably just follow her tutorial ‘cause mine’s a mess. :’) 

You start off with your basic gif. (the fewer the frames, the less you’ll want to jump off a bridge while doing it: this example is 11 frames, but the other gif is 58 frames, and let me tell you, it was unpleasant) I try keeping it the original size of the frames (in my case, 1280x720px) so it’s easier to edit the masks to remove the backgrounds. (but I will be saving them at 268px later on) 

I chose the frames for this one so that it looks like an eternal loop, but you can do whatever you want! 

Alright, now for the masking. You’re going to select both the frame in the timeline and its equivalent layer. Using the ‘quick selection tool’, you’re going to select around Yuuri until you have the whole background, like this:

And you’re going to click ‘refine edge’ (in the top bar) so it looks like this. I use the same settings as Alice recommends in her tutorial, and it seems to do the trick. And then you click ‘OK’:

Then, you’re going to right click, choose ‘select inverse’, and you’re going to click the little rectangle with a circle in the middle of it at the bottom right under the layers (if you hover over it, it says ‘Add layer mask’) 

And it should give you something like this:

Because this is a tutorial, I did this a little sloppily, but the more detailed you get with the mask, the better, so take as much as you need to get it how you want. And, you’re going to redo this for every frame. (this is why it’s better to have 11 frames than 58, lol) Now that all the masking is done, I resize the gif to its usual 540px width. In the end, it should give you something like this: 

The edges for this gif seem a little rough but imo they look better when you have a background, which is what we’re going to do next. 

In the layers section, under all the images of Yuuri, you’re going to place a colour fill layer, like this:

This colour matches the purple end of the gradient I’ve been using. The shades are completely the same. (#9c9fb7) And from there, you’re pretty much set. You don’t need to put a gradient on this one, but you do have to put the PSD, so:

Note: the psd I’ve been using for all of these gifs was based from these gifs, meaning I adjusted all the colours to get what I wanted from the gifs containing Yuuri’s face in them. So logically, these are the first gifs I made for the set. But yeah, that’s it! Just missing the snow, once again. 

SNOW

So, on all of the gifs, you can see there’s a light snowfall going on. Probably to no one’s surprise, I also learned this trick from @katsuukis tutorial here, and really it’s pretty simple, although I changed it a little because I hate using smart filters, lmao. 

We’ll use the glasses for the example because it’s the only gif in here that started out not as some frames from the show or an animated text, but literally just an image copied into multiple frames (you’ll see why having the multiple frames was necessary now as opposed to just keeping the one frame) 

So you start off with this:

You’re going to open your chosen file for snow in Photoshop. I found that the one Alice uses is a little too thin in snow (considering I’m incorporating the snow into the gradient instead of leaving it white on top) so I found a very similar gif that just has more snowflakes (or maybe I’m crazy) (I’m not 100% sure if it’s this one because I didn’t save its origins but here:)  [x] :

So you open the gif up in Photoshop, select as many frames of it as you need (I made the glasses gif to be 24 frames, so that’s how many frames I’m taking from the snow) and copy them:

Go over to your main gif (the glasses in this case), select all the frames and click ‘paste frames…’:  

And make sure that you select ‘Paste over selection’ then click ‘OK’:

It should look something like this, which is completely normal:

In the Layers section, create a new group, and place all of the snow layers in there. (Rename the group ‘snow’ if you want) Move the newly created group between the black/white gradient and the gradient of your choice (mine is the purple/off-white one):

Finally, when selecting all of the frames in the timeline and the group that contains the snow, change its mode from ‘Pass through’ to ‘Screen’

And there you go! That’s how you add the snow (here it is in 540px so you can properly see the effect). 

And that’s actually all the effects I used to make that gifset. It was way more than I thought it was, but explaining them all made me realise how much I learned, haha! If I didn’t go into enough detail for some of these, just shoot me another ask and I’ll try to explain more than I did here. 

[sergeantrosabellaswan]

Merry Christmas! (I suck at titles, but this is your Secret Santa story! I hope you like it, I tried to make it extra fluffy for you!)-🎄

    You sighed, rolling out of bed and turning off your alarm. Rubbing your eyes, you grabbed a sharpie off of your bedside table and uncapped it.  “Good morning,” you mutter as you scribble the letters on your arm, “Could you do me a favor, and not write anything on your arms or hands today? I have to do a presentation final today, and I need to dress nicely.” You recapped the pen, then grabbed your phone; scrolling through a few apps while you waited for his response. You felt the familiar tingling on the side of your left calf and you pulled the leg of your sweatpants up to read what he had written.

    “Use real paper for chem notes today, got it.” You smile at his neat handwriting and the quick smiley face that was drawn at the end of the note. You gather up your clothes for the day and walk to the bathroom to shower and get ready for school. As you stand in the water, you scrub at the ink on your forearm until it disappears, tainting the soap a little as it washes out. Humming as you dry off you glance at your wrist.

    “Hey,…” The small circle of evenly drawn holly berries begin to bloom around your wrist, followed by their trademark jagged leaves. A few small snowflakes fall around the tiny red leaves until you’re left with a festive bracelet drawn on. Another tingle starts on your leg, under his last note. “Good luck!”

    You quickly dry off your leg and uncap the Sharpie again. Doodling a quick snowman next to his note, you add a thank you. The rest of your morning follows its usual routine, and the hand-drawn bracelet matches your red ¾ sleeve shirt so perfectly that you decide to skip on the other jewelry you had originally picked to go with the outfit. As usual, you meet up with your best friend on the bus. When you sit down next to her, you excitedly pull your sleeve up to show her the bracelet from your soulmate.

    “Y/N, that is adorable. I can’t believe you two don’t know anything about each other, how is that even possible?” she asks, holding your arm and running her finger over the intricate designs, “Devin and i practiced writing our names on our skin, we’ve always known everything about each other.”

    You roll your eyes. “Come on, Erica, you both went to the same preschool, of course you were gonna find out about it soon. Your teacher told your parents that they he had drawn cat ears on your face and he had matching ones.” You pull your arm out of her grasp. “And we know things about each other.”

    Erica rolls her eyes in return. “Sure. Just not important things like where you live, phone numbers, or, I don’t know? Maybe your first names?” stepping down from the bus, the two of you split directions, heading for your lockers. You jump as the locker next to your’s opens.

    “Sorry y/n,” Peter Parker apologizes as you close your’s a little, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

    You smile as you load your books into your locker. “Don’t worry about it.” You turn your head, hoping he doesn’t see you nervously biting your lip. “Are you going anywhere for Christmas?”

    He shrugs as he stuffs his own books into his locker, exchanging his heavy coat for an incredibly soft looking blue sweater. “I can’t really. I’ve got a lot of work to do and Aunt May is sick, so traveling isn’t really an option. What about you?”

     You pull on your own sweater, careful not to mess up your hair. “Nope. My family decided to keep it simple this year. I barely managed to convince my dad to put the tree up.” You flashed him a smile as both of your lockers shut. “Good luck with your finals today. The last day before break is always the worst.”

    He laughs and you can’t help but smile a little at him standing there with his books in one hand and his backpack slung over one shoulder, while his other hand runs through his wavy hair. He nods at you as the bell rings and he takes a step backwards towards his class. “Yeah, you too, y/n. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

    You laugh and throw up a quick Hunger Games salute before heading off to your own classroom. The rest of the day goes about as well as you expected. Your teachers were all a bizarre mix of stressed and “I don’t care anymore,” which made for an interesting dynamic. Most of the students were hovering a little closer to the panicked end of the spectrum, and usually, you would have been right there with them. Today, however, the little ring of holly around your wrist seemed to take the edge off of your anxiety. You kept catching yourself running your fingers over it all day long, and after your presentation final, your teacher complimented you on it, assuming you had drawn it yourself.

     “My English teacher liked the bracelet,” you scribbled on your arm, glad to finally have the space open for communication again, “She said you should look into a job with art.”

    “I’m honored, really.” You grinned down at the sloppy little smile that had popped up on your arm. “But I’ve got my plate full with other ideas for now.”

    By the end of the day, it had warmed up more than you had expected for December in New York. The sun was shining and all things considered, you didn’t really want to wear your heavy winter coat. In fact, even your sweater was a bit much. You stuffed what you needed into your backpack and pull it on, then you roll up your sleeves and drape the coat over your arms. Pulling your phone out to text Erica, you feel your heart drop a bit as you read the text already there from her.  “Sorry, y/n/n, Devin is taking me out for coffee. I’m not going to be on the bus with you. But we should do a movie night over break! Twilight marathon at my place on Tuesday sound good?” You pocket your phone, deciding to wait until you can check with your parent’s schedule before committing to anything and walk to the bus stop. You groan as you watch the bus pull away from the curb, leaving you to wait the twenty minutes for the next one to come by. You sit down on the bench and pull out your phone as you watch a man approach from the corner of your eye.  Relax, y/n, you think to yourself, I’m sure he’s harmless. You glance back at him briefly and feel your heart skip a beat. He certainly doesn’t look harmless. He’s huge, with a weathered and beaten looking face and rough hands stuffed into the pockets of his tattered coat. You quickly look back to your phone, hoping he didn’t see you looking.

     “Hey,” he growls, “what’s in your bag?” You ignore him, digging in your coat pocket for your headphones. “hey I’m talkin’ to you. What’s in the bag?” You find your headphones finally and jam them into your ears, then plug them in before putting some music on. “Don’t ignore me.” You finally decide it’s not worth it. You’ll walk to the next bus stop, hey, you’ll walk all the way home at this point. You stand up, and start to walk away when the man roughly grabs your arm.  “I said don’t ignore me, girl.” The man snarls at you when you spin around to face him.

    “Let go of me!” You try to pull your arm out of his grasp, but he holds on tightly. You pull again, and this time you break free, but he snatches at you, catching your sweater and holding on still. When you pull again, he pulls too and the combined force causes your sweater to rip.

    “Hey!” The shout catches you by surprise and you spin to face it just in time to see a red and blue blur swing past, slamming its extended feet into the chest of your attacker. “She said leave her alone!” You watch in a bit of awe as Spider-Man quickly shoots several blasts of webs at the man, who now lies trapped to the pavement. Placing a foot on the man’s chest and his fists on his hips, he turned to face you, still looking down at the attacker. “I’ll deal with you in a minute.” He looks up at you and you could almost see a nervous smile under his mask. “Are you ok miss?” He asks.

    “I, uh, I -I think so, yeah. Yeah, thank you.” You stammer, “thank you.”

    Spider-Man waves a hand. “Don’t mention it. That’s my job. Here, let me get that for you.” He steps down from his captured prize and walks over to you. You glance down at the ground and see what he meant. In the struggle, you dropped your coat without noticing it.

    “Oh!” You gasp, dropping to your knee to pick it up, “I can’t believe I dropped it! Chances are I just would have forgotten it, I’m so shaken up.” You babble, your heart beating out of your chest.

    “Hey, don’t worry…” The young hero trails off a little as he grabs it too, staring at your wrist. “Nice, uh, nice tattoo.” He stutters as he takes your hand and helps you stand up.

    You blush. “That? Oh, uh it’s not a tattoo, my um,” your mind races, trying to think of how to word it, “my boyfriend drew it for me.” You finally say, “for good luck.”

    “Luck.” Spider-Man repeats softly. He shakes his head a little. “What’s your name?” He asks.

    “y/n.” You reply, “y/n y/ln.”

    “Well miss y/n, need a ride home? After something like that I’m sure you’re ready to sort of just chill out a bit.” he offers you his hand again, and you look at him with a raised eyebrow.

    “Really?” You ask, “are you serious?”

    “Sure,” he shrugs, “so long as your boyfriend doesn’t mind.”

    You shake your head, “no, no he wouldn’t. Thank you.” You take his hand and he pulls you close,wrapping his arm around you under your backpack. You reach up and put your arms around his shoulders as he shoots a web to the upper levels of a nearby building.

    “Hey, what about me?” The crook calls from the sidewalk.  Spider-Man looks back at him, “Well either those webs will dissolve in two hours, or the cops will be here to pick you up when someone calls you in. Either way, you’re stuck there for now.” He looks back to you, “where to, miss?” He asks.  You give him the name and address of your building and he swings off, pulling you up with him. The air whips through your hair and you feel a laugh bubbling up inside of you as you swing along with him. You let it out, and the wind rips it away so fast that you hardly even hear it. He lands in front of your building and you step back a little from him.

    “Thank you,” you say, “for everything, really.”

    “It was my pleasure,” he says with a flourish and a bow, “just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.” He takes your hand in one of his, and uses the other to pull the mask up, revealing his mouth and nose, then places a kiss on the back of your hand. “See you around, miss y/n!”

    He pulls the mask back down and spins a web, pulling himself away just as abruptly as he had appeared. You stood outside your building for about five minutes, just blinking until the honk and shout from a cab driver caught your attention. You waved at him, apologizing for the confusion, then dashed inside.

    As you stood in the elevator you pulled out a Sharpie and scribbled a quick note. “Guess who just met Spider-Man?!?”

    “uh-oh, should I be worried? Did he sweep you off your feet and steal you from me?”

    “No, not at all.” You grin a little and scribble over the answer. “Ok maybe just a little.” a small sad face appeared and you rolled your eyes. “Kidding!!”

    A smile took over the sad face. “Oh, hey, what do you want for Christmas?”

    “What? We’ve never done Christmas before. That’s in total violation of the pact!” You scribble quickly. Before you can keep writing any further argument, however, a reply pops up.

    “I know, I know! I’m just making conversation, ok?”

    You finally let out a defeated sigh and roll your eyes, glancing around your room. You toss your bag and coat down on your bed, and pull your torn sweater off, frowning as you You with the fraying edge of the gaping hole. Letting out a defeated sigh, you pick the Sharpie back up. “I really could use a new sweater.”

    “Yeah, honestly I never have enough of those.” You felt yourself relax a little bit as you fell into your normal routine. It took you most of the next week to really shake off the aftermath from the attack, but anytime your nightmares woke you up, help was only a quick note pin your hand away.

    As usual, you were the first one to wake up on Christmas morning, and when you rolled out of bed, you were a little surprised to see a note already on the back of your hand. “Merry Christmas!” You smiled a giddy grin, and wrote a reply. You jump as someone tapped on your window. Spinning around quickly, you were more than a little surprised to see Spider-Man standing on the fire escape outside. You crossed your room quickly and pulled the window open.

    “Oh my god, what-? Come in, it’s freezing out here!” You said, leaning your head out the window.

    He waved a hand at you. “No, thank you. My suit has a heater. Anyways, I just stopped by to give you something.” He pulled a package out from behind his back. “Merry Christmas.” With shaking hands, you took the package from him. Whatever was inside was soft, and it was very well wrapped. As you ran your fingers over it, you frowned, looking at your name scrawled over the red wrapping paper. Something about the handwriting seemed familiar, but you couldn’t quite place it.

    “Go on, open it!” The young hero said impatiently as he sat down on the railing of the escape. You smiled and leaned forward, stepping out onto the escape as well before ripping into the paper. Inside was a soft blue sweater, folded neatly. You smiled and held it up, laying it over your torso, seeing how it would fit.

    “Thank you, it's….” Your grin faded a little and you looked up at him. “It’s perfect. How did you know?”

     He didn’t say anything. He stepped down from the railing and pulled off a glove, then he peeled his sleeve halfway up his forearm. Using his other hand, he took your’s, amd gently pulled your sleeve back as well. You gasped as you looked down. Your handwriting and sloppy doodles were scrawled across the back of his hand, and his neat chemistry notes and even artwork crawled up your arm. You placed your palm against his, and marveled at the matching ink that ran all the way to your elbows. You smiled widely at him, and met his eyes. He had taken the mask off, and now you saw him. His warm brown eyes sparkled and the slight morning breeze ruffled his curls a little. “Merry Christmas, y/n.” He whispered before leaning in and kissing you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, giggling into the kiss a little and pinning his sweater between the two of you.

You pulled back from the kiss and ran your fingers through his hair.

“Merry Christmas, Peter.”

[robbiefarlow-sidequestfitne-blog]

New Post has been published on Side Quest Fitness

New Post has been published on http://sidequestfitness.com/9-keys-to-make-your-writing-great/

How to Fuck Up Some Commas: Or, The 9 Keys You Need to Make Your Writing Great

170.

No, that’s not the number of video games I’ve beaten in my life. And it sure as hell isn’t the number of women I slept with before my wife (that was less than 10).

It’s the number of articles I’ve written over a two year period on my site, and across the Internet on sites like:

Roman Fitness Systems

BroBible

MyProtein

AskMen

J Max Fitness

Listen, Money Matters

That doesn’t count all the ghostwriting, emails, e-books, and social media posts I’ve written either.

I’m not writing this as some form of public masturbation about what I’ve accomplished (okay, fine, maybe there’s a little jerking off going on).

What spurred these thoughts are the handful of emails and messages from random people I’ve received in the last few weeks/months asking about writing. Most of these coming from people new to the world of online fitness.

This article serves two purposes then: 1) it’s a bit of a reflective piece for myself, and 2) it’s a piece I can now use when someone asks me about writing or content creation on the Internet.

So to the young bucks who’ve asked me about writing, here’s what you need to know about getting better as an Internet scribe.

  Copyright: Image by StockUnlimited

Do the Work

How do you improve at anything?

Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

It’s how you get stronger in the gym, how you get better at guitar, and it’s how you improve as a writer. The more you write, the more opportunities you have to improve. And that’s why if you’re an aspiring scrivener, you need to write every day.

Writing every day doesn’t mean you have to publish every day. But unless you completely excommunicate yourself from social media, you’re gonna write something. And as Tim Ferriss has said before:

“How you do one thing, is how you do everything.”

It took me a little while to learn this; and by little while, I mean one soul-burning John Romaniello “goddamn it” look before I realized that everything I write — Tweets; Facebook Posts/Comments; Instagram posts; Text Messages; Emails; FB Messenger conversations — should be treated with the same care and diligence I’d give any article.

There’s another reason why you need to write every day. The online world is saturated with content. And the way you make yourself stand out is to be really fucking good. Not mediocre; not so-so; not worthy of a gentleman’s C.

No. You need have to be better.

And if you want to be better, you have to put in the work.

The simple act of writing every day, and paying attention to what you write—no matter the medium—generates awareness to how you write. And like the awareness that comes from tracking calories, you begin to deconstruct your own writing to see where you suck.

From there, you’re able to improve and get better. Because if you’re not getting better, you’re dying.

Vomit is Better Than Perfection

Some things write themselves.

You know it. You write it. Edit a bit. And, “voila!”, you’re done. But the deep shit—the words you bleed onto the page—sometimes need to come out in whatever way possible.

And if what comes out at first is incoherent babble, that’s okay—the first draft is supposed to suck. Everything sucks the first time.

Don’t try and be perfect. Let your sentences sound like the ramblings of a drunken madman teetering down Bourbon Street. That’s okay. Because you’re getting it out.

Most of the time, that’s the hardest part: getting it out. Your brain wants you to make it perfect; your soul needs to exude it; and your hands are sitting there stuck in the middle trying to placate both parties.

So nothing happens. You stare at a blank screen and tell yourself this is impossible.

Hemingway put it best:

Write drunk. Edit sober.

Let your soul bare itself however it sees fit. Then let your brain clean up its mess and make it sound better. Whatever you do, get the words down. Then go back and clean up the vomit.

The Building Blocks  

Ultimately, writing is a lot like playing with LEGOs.

As a kid, I never claimed the rank of master builder. I pretty much built towers to see how high I could take them before I had my action figures demolish them.

But you can build some amazing shit out of LEGOs. And words are kind of like LEGOs. (And yes, you can choke on both.)

When you write a sentence and break it down—not only grammatically but visually (or how it flows when you read it)—you’ll begin to see how you can alter the structure, meaning, and cadence of a sentence with punctuation or changes in vocabulary.

Take the sentence below that I pulled from my first draft:

There are hard rules about grammar. And you need to know the rules—master them, actually—before you can break them.

If you look at this sentence as LEGOs, and punctuation and vocabulary as LEGO pieces, you’ll begin to see how you can add or change certain pieces that change the sentence completely.

Add a comma after the word “and,” and it adds a slight pause and emphasis for needing to know the rules:

There are hard rules about grammar. And, you need to know the rules—master them, actually—before you can break them.

You could also replace the em dash with parenthesis, which makes the words “master them, actually” more like an aside. But parentheticals only work when you’re able to remove the words within them without jacking up the sentence. In this case, it does; but to me, it loses a bit of oomph.

There are hard rules about grammar. And you need to know the rules (master them, actually) before you can break them.

There are hard rules about grammar. And you need to know the rules before you can break them.

Those small tweaks to punctuation change how you read the words in your mind or out loud. And if you wanted to change the cadence of the sentence, you could do so by adding a few more periods.

There are hard rules about grammar. And you need to know the rules. Master them, actually. Before you can break the rules.

(“them” needed to be changed to “the rules,” otherwise, that would have been a sentence fragment)

I don’t proclaim to be a grammar master. I’m still learning. But, I am experimenting with how to structure sentences, and when, what, and where the right punctuation should go to change the rhythm, emphasis, or spirit of a sentence.

Like the LEGO towers that my action figures shattered in my youth, sometimes a laconic sentence is more useful:

Master the hard rules of grammar, before you break them.

Read a Book, Read a Book, Read a Motherfucking Book

Before 2016, I’d read a total of 25, maybe 30 books. Last year, I read 27.

And besides the fact that many of those 27 books inspired articles or emails, the biggest lesson I learned from reading more books is that it makes you a better writer. Why?

If for no other reason than it’s research. Sure, you’re learning new ways to improve yourself or your business or diving deep into an exciting world full of interesting characters, but more than that, it allows me—as a writer—to see how the best wordsmiths craft their work.

How do they create tension and mood within their writing?

Why did they choose to use an em dash and not a comma?

When, how, or why did they change cadence, and how did that change impact me?

What words do these authors use that will expand my 6th-grade lexicon?

I love reading now. It’s the first thing I do every day. And it’s the one thing I feel—next to writing every day—that’s improved my skills the most.

Write By Hand

(Confession: I wrote this entire section on my phone while on the subway in NYC.)

Listen, I’ll be the first to admit, my penmanship is grotesque. Doctors have better handwriting than I do. Still, something happens when you write by hand.

Over the last decade, a few studies have even shown that there’s a clear distinction between writing by hand or on a keyboard. For instance, one study showed that the brains of children “lit up” when asked to write a word by hand vs using a computer. And some doctors believe that as you age, it’s better to write by hand because it improves motor skills, memory, and acts as a good cognitive activity as you age.

I can read the science and I can agree with most of it. But, for me, writing by hand—even the simple act of taking notes while listening to a podcast or reading an article—spurs something more visceral and taps into a creative vein in my mind that writing in Google Docs or iNotes can’t.

That doesn’t mean I write every word of an email, an article, or social media post by hand. 65-70% of what I write is done electronically. But the stuff that burns, that scratches at my soul, and threatens to haunt me if I don’t put it down, comes out on paper.

Where a word processor has distractions like a toolbar or even the ability for you to open another tab and check Facebook/email, what you write on paper stabs you in the eyes—forcing you to examine and come to terms with what’s on the page.

You can erase it and change it, sure. But the remnants of it—the shadow of your erasures or the strike through of your pen—stare back at you and remind you that those are words you wrote; words you believe.

There’s a cathartic connection—a bleeding—that happens when your mind connects with your hand; you struggle less and write more truthfully.

The Best Form of Flattery

Imitation does not mean plagiarization.

Do. Not. Steal.

That’s wrong, and if you do it, you’re a douche-canoe. 

(Douche-canoe is something my friend Aadam says all the time—yes, he has two A’s in his name, that’s not a spelling error. And though I could have made you think I invented the funny word “douche-canoe,” I did not. Aadam did. See, I’m giving him credit and not stealing it.)

When I taught myself how to play the guitar, the first songs I played weren’t my own. I played everyone else’s. And when I did decide to write my first song(s), I imitated the chord progressions from the artists I was listening to at the time. (Thanks, Howie Day.)

But that’s how everyone who picks up a guitar starts their career.

You play Bob Dylan, Deep Purple, Hootie and the Blowfish, and once you’ve nailed the basic chord progressions of your favorite songs, then you’re more likely to experiment and find your voice and create your own music.

And in a lot of ways, that’s what I’ve done as a writer. Writers that I admire and find extremely engaging have been the ones I’ve tried to imitate. Not because I want to be them. But because I needed to play their chords to find my voice.

That’s one of the first things I’ve told anyone who has asked me for writing advice:

“take something you want to write, and write it as if your favorite author wrote it.”

Examine how they use and shape words. And then try and play their song.

But please, don’t steal. There’s a difference between stealing and imitating.

How to Unblock Writer’s Block

This is the 2nd time, and it won’t be the last, that I’ve mentioned Roman in this article. And it might sound like I’m sucking his dick a little bit (I am), but without Roman, there is no Side Quest Fitness; and really there’s no Robbie Farlow as I stand now.

But when it comes to writing, Roman knows his shit. And he often posts tidbits about the (or his) writing process on Facebook or Instagram. When he does, it’s fucking gold; and I hoard it in a secret folder on my phone.

For instance, this is is a screenshot of a comment he left my friend Aadam Ali when Aadam was struggling with writer’s block.

“So Robbie, what do you do when you have writer’s block?”

My usual response to this question is that I throw on some Dashboard, cast myself on the floor, and scream the lyrics to the heavens while I beseech my muse to return. I’m like half joking when I say that. (Half.)

The other half involves one or two of the following, and these are usually what I recommend others do as well:

Masturbate

Take a walk

Listen to a podcast

Read

Write something other than fitness

Film yourself speaking about what you’re trying to write. Walk around your room with a camera on and just record yourself talking about what you want to say.

Drink whiskey

Play video games

Learn a new song on the guitar

Take a shower

Sing This Bitter Pill as loud as possible

Writer’s block, for me, is usually a sign that I’m fighting something I should be writing. Or that I’m trying to make it “perfect,” instead of vomiting my soul on the page.

Writing What You Know

Before I ever decided to become a trainer or even launch my coaching business, I read articles by the giants in the industry. And these guys are smart. Like, the best of the best. But I’m no Tony Gentilcore, Dean Somerset, Dan John, or Ben Bruno.

Those guys dive deep into the science behind how the body works while you lift. But, me?

I love reading anything written by the best of the best, and (for the most part) I understand the super-sciency terminology they use.

But my friends who first came to me and asked about getting in shape, probably don’t. And the clients I work with don’t really care about the science either. What they want are the exercises that help them feel better, move better, and look better naked.

And it’s my job to take the knowledge I have, and that I continue to seek, and add a bit of a nerdtastic flare to it—providing my readers and clients with a frame of reference they connect with, be it video games, comics, Star Wars, or sports.

Those four things above are what I know. They are who I am; and the lens through which I view the world around me.

I don’t know everything about kinesiology. But, I do know how to connect diet to Indiana Jones, motivation to Lord of the Rings, leadership to Call of Duty, and pretty much everything else to Star Wars or my love for UNC basketball.

So that’s what I’m gonna write about. Oh, and Buffy.

It’s Not the Tool, It’s How You Use It

Before I joined the Roman Fitness Systems Mastermind, I remember having a long conversation with Tanner Baze about how we hated reading sales copy. We felt dirty. Icky.

Like the words we were reading were written by He Who Shall Not Be Named himself.

God, were we stupid.

We were looking at copywriting all wrong. Or, at least, I was (I don’t know about ole dtbaze).

Because the truth is, all writing is copywriting.

Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Rothfuss, King, Shakespeare, every single author who has ever written a story or a screenplay, was, essentially, writing sales copy.

Copywriting—in the sales realm—has one primary goal: to get you to buy whatever product the ad is selling. 

And if it’s good copy, each word will sell you on reading the next line in the sales ad until you buy.

Oh, shit. That’s exactly what good authors do as well.

Each line sales you on reading the next line. Why else would you read a gigantic 1,200-page book if you weren’t buying each line and spending the only currency you can’t get back: time.

And of course there’s bad, smarmy, snake-oily sales copy out there that makes a ton of money selling bullshit.

But hey, someone made a gazillion dollars writing Twilight fan fiction that then became a best-selling series and Hollywood film franchise. So sometimes evil wins. And yes, you can use the power of words in 50 different shades of evil to sell bullshit.

Or, you can learn to harness the power and use it for good. And that’s what a good writer, or copywriter, would do: use words for the betterment of humanity.

The Penis Pen is Mightier

Truth is: I’ve always been a writer.

I wrote my first story on a piece of cardboard I pulled from a trash bin. It wasn’t very good. It sounded like a five-year-old wrote it. Because a five-year-old did write it.

But I stopped writing around the time I got a Nintendo. And only picked the pen back up when I fell in love with poetry as a teen.

My years as a poet ended when a few friends accused me of being a bit too emo (whatever the fuck that means). And from that point, the only writing I engaged in were the mandatory papers I had to write in high school or college.

Secretly, though, I missed writing.

I may never be a Hemingway. Or a Strauss. And I sure as hell won’t ever be a Shakespeare. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t, or shouldn’t write.

Writing every day for two years has improved my quality of life.

I don’t wake up and despise the morning anymore. My thoughts are more clear. I’ve taken more stock into what I think and believe because I’ve been forced to write them down and confront those words face-to-face.

And, above all, I’ve found something that’s galvanized my soul and that I’m driven to improve upon every, single, day.

So if you’re an aspiring writer, whether you want to write fitness blogs, short stories, or a novel. Do one thing, and one thing only—write.

Write like a motherfucker. Then, continually look for ways to improve. Study the authors you read and imitate their style. Treat every word you write on social, in text messages, or in your journal as if it were being published in The New York Times.

And as the great Romaniello once said:

Don’t let the idea of “what your writing may become” interfere with the process of actually writing it.