#I was going to say power couple but I feel like they'd be too messy to really be a power couple

[hanakou-often]

They would be such a sweet couple in this au...like imagine them both bonding over their fickle monster children and the late nights they'd spend pouring over research!!! I think Amane's a night owl so the few times he catches Kou dozing in his office way after hours, he'd drape a blanket over him, hoping Kou gets the rest he deserves. In the mornings Kou would probably bring Amane a cup of coffee or donuts, adoring the way he smiles shyly when he takes them gratefully <3 God there's so much potential here

[telesodalite]

Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??

Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.

One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.

And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.

These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.

How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?

Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.

And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?

Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.

Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.

And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.

In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.

[lolahasmoxie]

our story will be different - E.M.

Pairing - Eddie Munson x y/n

Count - 988 words

Warning - angst, but ends in fluff.

Notes - Popped into my head and wouldn't go away. Also, thanks for loving the last couple of head cannons I wrote. You sure do know how to make a hyper-fixated gal feel special.

Cold sheets woke Eddie up at the ungodly hour of 3:27 am. He grumbled to himself as he got out of your warm bed. Peeking his head out of the bedroom, he could see a faint light in the kitchen. Well, that was one mystery solved. Usually, you slept like the dead; once you were out, you were out until the sun's rays started to burn into your bedroom.

He silently padded down the hallway, not wanting to startle you, and felt a slight smile on his lips as he spied on you. You were seated at the small table, a mug of steaming tea in your hand. You were wearing his old boxers and an oversized shirt you had stolen from your dad when you were a pre-teen. On your feet were the slouchy socks Wayne had gifted you for Christmas. His heart felt like it could burst; anyone who saw him would immediately peg him for the love-dumb fool that he was.

His happiness at seeing you was shortlived when he noticed the thousand-yard stare in your eyes. You didn't have that look when you came home, even though he could tell something was off. You had been out with some of your girlfriends. Your best friend had received a new promotion, and it had been a while since you'd all had the chance to let loose and catch up. You had come home shortly after midnight, buzzed and adorably affectionate the way you were when you had one too many. You had quickly given him the highlights of your evening, and after a short makeout session, you had both gone to bed.

"If you stare at that wall any harder, you're gonna put a hole through it," he said softly as he approached the table. His worry grew when your lips quirked up, but your eyes stared straight ahead.

"You should be in bed; it's late."

"Could say the same about you," he said as he sat beside you. He studied you briefly with an elbow on the table, chin in his hand. Messy hair and a sad expression on your face, he worried about what could be hurting you at this hour. "I didn't do something, did I? Cause if I did..."

"No, baby," you interjected quickly. Your eyes finally met his, and you gave him your best happy smile as you took his hand in yours. You brought his hand to your lips, gently kissing his knuckles before placing it back on the table but not letting go. "Just a lot on my mind."

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked. You knew he would never press you for information, and you sighed heavily before casting your eyes down to your joined hands.

"Kai thinks that Chris might be cheating on her."

Eddie let out a heavy sigh at the news. Your best friend had been with her boyfriend for five years, and they had been engaged for almost a year and were planning the wedding. Eddie liked Kai; she had always been kind and friendly to him, but he loved how protective she was over you.

"Jesus," he murmured.

"She's figuring out how she wants to confront him. I knew they'd been having some problems, but I never thought he would actually do something like that to her. I mean....". Your voice drifted off.

"What?" he asked gently. You paused, the intrusive thoughts plaguing you all night finally coming out.

"What if that's us?"

"Baby," he said as he gently squeezed your hand. "No way, that will never be us."

"You don't know that," you said, your voice on the cusp of crying. "I used to think that Kai and Chris were the one couple that would never break up, and now, shit, if they can't make it, what's to say that won't be us in a year?"

"It'll never happen," Eddie said, his shaggy hair moving as he shook his head.

"You have psychic powers I don't know about?" you teased.

"Don't need them," he said with certainty. "First off, we aren't Kai and Chris; we are us, and we will never end up like them."

"Fucks sake, you play guitar in a band, Eddie. You expect me to believe that you would never cheat?" Eddie chuckled as he scooted his chair closer to you.

"Princess, all other women became pussy non grata the minute I asked you to be mine. I love you, and only you." This time he was the one to raise your joined hands, and you felt your heart melt when his lips touched your knuckles.

"Really?" You should have known that Eddie's dramatic ass would never give you a simple answer. Your breath hitched when he got down on both knees before you, taking your hands in his.

"I would love you even if you were a worm. I will love you when we're old gray farts telling everyone about our grandkids. I will love you until there isn't a breath left in my body. I'll love in this life and the next. Understand?"

"Fuck, you really know how to make a statement," you said as you sniffled at Eddie's assurances. He gave you that boyish grin that made your heart swell as he reached out and brushed an errant tear from your cheek. He quickly stood up and held a hand out to help you up.

"Only the best for my baby," he said with a grin. "Now, I know it's late, but since we don't have to work tomorrow, maybe you could let me show you how much I love you." You couldn't help but giggle as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. How could you say no to him?

So you didn't. You simply let him lead you back to your bedroom and let him cover you like the night. He was right; your story was going to be different.

[fadinglights]

like for a starter from the muses below! could be based on your wishlist or any of the wanted plots if they catch your eye :>

anthony lee — 28, medium/baker, bisexual, fc: greg hsu

maybe a muse who's a regular/co-worker with a crush on him?

someone he used to know before he dropped out of med school

maybe they're exes.... kind of the power couple back then that people thought were going to places but neither of their lives turned out as expected

ghost in his apartment/cafe or anything supernatural!

he's brought to a blind date gathering thingy as his friend's support animal and oh wow actually glad he's here cause it's how he met your muse who's maybe a bit jaded in love but hit the jackpot with him (they both did) </3

koji tanaka — 28, filmaker, bisexual, fc: mackenyu arata

maybe he's dating/sleeping with someone who he's working with? an actor/actress/screenwriter etc... it's a mess

friends with benefits situation

fake dating plot except he's the worst person to ask lmao

the one where he's accidentally the third person in a relationship... oops

kind of feel like a throuple plot would kinda suit him idk

hyeon joonwoo — 24, professional figure skater, homosexual, fc: sung hanbin

someone he trains with (he's in the olympics team)... could be besties/rivals/rivals to lovers <3

alternatively someone he works with, maybe a physiotherapist or something

celeb/non-celeb plot, his schedule/the long distance getting in the way

someone he met and fell for in another country (could be another athlete/anyone), could be oblivious about his job until they see them on tv lol

elodie yoon — 25, designer/mafia heiress, bisexual, fc: kim yoojung

'i'm your ex and once i got into a near-death situation with criminals and they left me alone cause i'm in your protection list???? explain'

best friends to lovers, your muse could be from a family of crime too or works for hers

rivals to best friends to lovers.... give me children of rivaling families who fall in love and say fuck it...

bodyguard/protectee plot because yes (warning she's a menace)

a partner unaware of her background, until that one time they have to suddenly start running for their lives on a cute date????

leah willems — 30, er doctor, bisexual, fc: davika hoorne

something something spicy with a colleague (doctor, nurse, therapist etc)... in my medical drama era tbh

they're in a perfect marriage except it's falling apart and maybe your muse is cheating and regretting it when she finds out </3 maybe they even work in the same hospital gASP

your muse is the barista of the coffee shop she always goes to for her caffeine fix but she fell off the radar for a while and your muse is lowkey worried????

our muses used to date in high school, were the power couple and broke up due to long distance? now they meet again years later, maybe in her er or a reunion event idk

jules kwang — 26, makeup artist, bisexual, fc: roseanne park

she's on a dating show (kind of like the boyfriends but maybe it not just guys lol, or single's inferno) except she's a jaded skeptic and only here for the free vacation <3

could be combined with the first one, a hopeless romantic/skeptic golden retriever/black cat dynamic

she's dating a client/someone she worked for, someone from the world of fame and it gets messy

someone she's collabing with for a youtube video for her makeup channel, cute chemistry ensues and maybe fans are begging for more collabs and lowkey wish they'd date <3

something slightly forbidden like her brother's best friend or she's your muse's sibling's best friend sth... if it's the latter the best friend probably thinks they shouldn't date her just to avoid getting their heart broken lmaoooo

a before sunrise kind of plot idk

[visionkept]

the 10-year old's on her tippy toes, a palm cups the side of her lips as if she's about to tell a secret only tomo should hear. ❛ i think the person you're going out with tonight is a good person! ❜ how could they not be a good one when they'd given her and tama some delicious snacks upon their arrival? they're definitely considerate! ❛ if all goes well on the date tonight and you find yourself enjoying their company, i guess you can go home by 7 pm! ❜ / a rare case where this lil one approves/highkey supports tomo's date kekeke 😆

They haven't done any of this in exactly FIVE YEARS. Five years since their last date, five years since their last party, five years since they have last tried to go out and let the night surprise them. FIVE YEARS is the age of the little angel that watches them from the couch, curious of the stranger in her home.

The presence of their supposed partner in their own house sends a shiver down their spine. Chihiro had eagerly supported them to take the next step, wanting to finally meet the person her sibling has been meeting for a couple of months now. It was risky, especially considering how picky Tama could be with strangers, but it would eventually happen at some point.

Never did they imagine themselves presenting their date to their family so casually in a friday evening.

Their prepared snacks had won them over from the start, breaking Tama's shell with a quick smell of the fancy home-made chocolate. Of course the small ones are weak to the sweat taste it offered, winning their hearts for the time being. Little hands held the chocolate and nibbled with delight, she got her sweet tooth from her father, and maybe that's how the other got the idea. If it had worked with Tomo then why not with the kids ?

Fortune has smiled their way. Finding someone that wants to date them regardless of their status as a single father. . . They hit the jackpot with this one, however, it's important to note that for the time being, they are TESTING the waters. Nothing's entirely official but things are certainly getting somewhere.

❝ Oi, Tama, ❞ A thumb reaches to clean some of the dried spots of candy on her mouth. She's a messy eater but that doesn't make her any less cuter. ( Proud father of a messy eater right here ! ). ❝ Eat it slowly, dear, it won't go away. ❞

She likes them. . . what a RELIEF. And it seems that so does Chihiro. Perhaps the two don't realize the power they truly hold. Their opinion means EVERYTHING, a single word of rejection from their part would be enough for Tomo to end things in a heart beat. THEIR FAMILY COMES FIRST, they'll always and forever be their top priority.

Chihiro signs them to come close and they do so. Palm cups her lips, as if to make a barrier that could contain her voice, whispering what could be the biggest of secrets known to mankind.

i think the person you're going out with tonight is a good person !

❝ I think so too. ❞ Tomoya mutters only for their sister to hear. A comforting smirk appears on their features and a light blush dares to stain their cheeks.

❝ 7 PM ? Oh my, someone feels generous today ! ❞ Tomoya has to bite their tongue to prevent a laugh from coming out so abruptly. They roll their eyes in a goofy way, her words sounding too similar to something they would say. ❝ I will have this in consideration when you and that fancy kid go out on your first da━━ ❞ A light but painfulness punch hits their arm, it's her way to tell them shut it. This IS about them.

❝ Alright, alright, we will get going.❞ Their date is already waiting at the door, crossing their arms as they witness Tomoya being fully vulnerable around the small figures. It's as if their softest side came out only when these two were around.

A hand comes to ruffle the brunette's locks, a routine of theirs before going out. It's not a farewell, rather a 'see you later' that the two understand. Tama comes to their side knowing it's her turn. She's rather small for her age and they have to get down almost fully to place a small kiss on her head. With both girls having received their proper goodbyes, they take their coat and walk towards the exit.

One last look to make sure they will be alright. ❝ You two better BEHAVE while I'm gone. ❞ They can behave properly when the situation requires it and if back up is needed, they know the neighbor would lend them a hand. They got nothing to worry about and yet, they do so. It shows how much they CARE. ❝ Till 7 PM then. ❞

[cassiaa]

Metanoia BTTB2

warnings: asking for sex; mentions of sex; manipulating; slight seducing and mentions of seduction; alcohol;

All of Namjoon's muscles clenched immediately, his body taut as a bowsting.

She didn't elaborate or explain. She stared directly into his eyes with that fire of hers smoldering and waiting for an answer.

Was she really looking for some quick fuck? Was this what had her down that past two hours? Or was this her way of distracting herself from the real problem at hand?

From what Namjoon had dug up, his sweet little jagi was exactly that, sweet and innocent. She didn't party, only drank on special occasions, he could only guess had never done drugs from her perfect school records and she hadn't been allowed to date or go out with strange boys.

Her fathers leash was tight around her neck, it had made his blood boil when he came to that conclusion.

That was another thing he'd be changing soon, he would take the studded choker off her neck and place his own there. His was much softer, much more loose, allowed more freedom and gave her even more luxuries that she already possessed.

Namjoon had no immediate plans of denying her, though he did want to know exactly where this came from, so he could make sure she wouldn't be out propositioning to just any pathetic little boys she could meet. He was more than willing to fuck her to her little hearts desire. Until all she knew was him, until she couldn't form any coherent sentences, let alone remember her own name. His was all she'd be able to say by the time he was done with her. He'd make sure to fuck her so good she would know better than to run to anyone else for something only he could provide her.

With those thoughts that had his mind racing and muscles coiling, ready to pounce, he smoothed his expression into slight confusion, maybe a bit of amusement in there and calmly said, "excuse me?"

"Really?" She nearly rolled her eyes. "You don't seem dense to me. Maybe I was wrong." She huffed, finally breaking eye contact, looking rather annoyed and mostly with herself. He could see the warring behind her eyes.

"Do you often go up to people asking them for sex?" Namjoon asks calmly, one side of his mouth kicking up as he leans back in his chair, exuding power. His movement drew her gaze back to him, and she unconsciously bit her bottom lip and Namjoon felt low growl hum in his throat at that combined with her innocent expression and the way she shifted in her seat. He just knew she was getting turned on already. He'd have to work hard not to break her.

Her eyes widened, no doubt hearing the noise and finally she answers. "No-"

"Then why approach a random man and ask for sex?" As he spoke, he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, his hands clasped in front of his mouth and glasses slipping down his nose just a bit. It didn't help the heated gaze he pinned on her. "This isn't a club," he added when he saw her swallow, it seemed she didn't know what to do with his full attention on her. He'd remedy that quickly, his angel always had his attention, even when it seemed she didn't. "Or a bar. Why here? Why now?.... why me?"

Her eyes dropped to his lips as his voice dipped lower and quieter with every word.

"If you don't want to do it," she paused, trying to regain the control of the situation that she thought she had, taking a breath and steeling herself, eyes losing a bit of that glassy glaze they developed. "Then you don't have to. I'll just go to either of those places and find someone who will. Can't be that hard."

She said it with a bratty attitude that Namjoon instantly found arousing and annoying in the same moment and his mind immediately supplied a dozen ways to make her lose it.

Annoyed, she stood and slid out of the booth, not expecting him to follow. He did, smoothly and with much more elegance. A closed off look on his face as he rebuttoned his suit jacket. He dwarfed her in size, she looked between five three or five four in her flat shoes. In shock, she took in his appearance, seemingly appraising him and liking what she saw as her eyes lit up and she swallowed again.

"Shall we?" He asked stepping close enough to her to invade her personal space, past what social etiquette deemed fit, but not far enough to be overly intrusive and scare her or make a scene. Out of the corner of his eye he had been watching the cook and the waitress, an older couple who seemed protective of his jagi. They had kept an eye on her the entire time, the older woman had held a short conversation with his jagi when she first came in and the woman had even brushed back Ava's hair during the course of her meal. His jagi hadn't shown any signs of being uncomfortable with the motherly gesture so Namjoon had let it be. But the way that they watched him with such distrust, Namjoon was debating on whether or not they'd need to be dealt with or not. If they wouldn't become a problem for him down the road he could maybe even use them.

Ava nods slowly. Almost disbelieving that what she had asked for she was getting. "My place or yours?"

Namjoon was a bit disappointed that she was offering her own bed to a stranger, but perhaps she felt safer there instead of trapping herself in an unknown place. Namjoon couldn't follow the knowledge (or lack there of) that she was using to make the decision.

But he knew she lived alone. No chef, no maid or any help of any kind, no security, other than what her building supplied at the main entrances. It was easy for him to get to her personal space, but that meant it was easy for others too.

Her father was a fool, he had made many enemies in his time in the illegitimate side of his business, and once again Namjoon felt his dislike for the man swelling deeply at his negligence. He broke his thoughts, paying for his drink and tipping generously. He gestured with a hand for them to go and placed a hand to her back that was neither too low or too high. If she was having second thoughts, he didn't want to scare her into running. He'd really have to woo her.

"I'm only in town for the weekend," Namjoon supplied, opening the door for her and stepping close enough for his jacket to brush against her as they exited together. "I'm staying at the Baccarat Hotel in Manhattan-"

"My place then." She interrupted. "I'd rather not be seen going into that hotel with you. It looks... bad." She carried off, fingers playing with the hem of her babydoll dress.

Namjoon nods, humming his approval. His smart girl. She was protecting her image, their were plenty of reporters that hung out near the richer hotels. And Namjoon only stayed at the best. She must've pieced together that he was well enough off by the way he dressed and the hotel he was staying in.

"Lead the way." His grin was perhaps a bit to sharp as she looked up at him with big round eyes.

He had to act as if he had never been near her place of dwelling though, so even as she seemed to take the long way he didn't correct or give any hints that he was on to her as he made polite conversation the whole way. In fact, he was soaking up all he could from this time he had with her, he wanted to build a relationship with her. One that was more than just sex- though that was something he did look forward to. She was quick to offer up her first name. But not her family name. Ava. He acted politely, as if it was brand new information and then he offered his whole name just as readily. She repeated it carefully and Namjoon's body reacted to his name falling from her pretty pink lips, and he didn't stop the sudden urge to press his lips to hers in a heated kiss as they were stopped on a crosswalk at an intersection. He swooped down to her height, the hand on her back crushing her chest tightly to his and his free hand wrapping around the side her slender neck as she gasped and their lips met. Her neck was small enough for his thumb to tilt her jaw up and for his fingers to cup the back of her neck entirely and pull her face even closer as he dominated her mouth swiftly making it a bit more passionate and stealing all her breath away.

He pulled away from the heated kiss first, leaving her clutching his front and gasping for air. Her eyes went down immediately and Namjoon watched with a growing smile as she tried to compose herself.

He dipped close enough for his lips to touch her ear and whispered, "shall we?"

Everywhere his lips or breath touched rippled with goose bumps right away and he admired the skin their, how smooth and creamy it looked. He couldn't wait to mark it up. He placed a sweet kiss to her ear, humming in satisfaction when a shiver went down her body.

It didn't take long before they were in her penthouse. Namjoon had found deep in many, many files that the penthouse was a gift from her father on her eighteenth birthday. A bit of freedom for her so long as she obeyed. Namjoon had already had Taehyung and Hoseok sweep the place for any sort of bugs that could've been hidden. Namjoon took in the room with out rudely intruding. He eyed the entrance in distaste. It was a bit of an annoyance and disgust that Americans didn't remove their shoes upon entry into their homes. They walked all over their messy cities and then tracked it through their house. He wondered how he could convince her to abandon that habit.

"Make yourself comfortable I suppose." She said, heading into the kitchen, "feel free to look around." She shrugged, not looking over her shoulder.

Namjoon shook his head, his smart girl could be so naive. She just invites a strange man into her home all alone (for sex no less) and tells him to 'make himself at home'. It was clear she had never brought anyone home with her before. He grinned again, taking in the rooms slowly, even though he truly already knew the place inside and out. He did take more time to look in depth at the pictures on the wall and on each table. His beautiful jagi. He grinned. His innocent virgin baby girl. He had no doubts at this point that she was a virgin. And with the way her body reacted to his touch, he doubted anyone had ever touched her at all.

He found her pouring a glass of dark alcohol that she pulled up to drink quickly. Not seeing or hearing his approach, she was shocked when he pulled the glass from her hand, giving an amused expression and raising a brow in question. Her eyes narrowed in what seemed to be annoyance or perhaps defiance as her eyes flickered to the bottle on the counter. Namjoon once again wanted to rid her of the brattiness. He took off his glasses slowly, folding them closed and setting them beside the drink before caging her against the counter and overwhelming her with just his presence alone. He waited a moment, for her to push him away or tell him no, and when she didn't he leaned down and connected their lips in the softest touch he could manage. He didn't make any move to deepen the kiss, or escalate it in any way. He just moved his lips softly against hers. Coaxing her into the kiss until she was breathless again before he pulled back. He smirked proudly at what he had managed to do to her with just a kiss. Her chest was heaving as she worked on slowing her breathing, and it took her a moment before she opened her eyes, they were clouded and it had Namjoon humming in satisfaction.

"I need you sober, baby." He said softly, voice smooth as velvet as he cupped her jaw gently, he stroked a thumb over her cheek as he spoke. "If you don't want to do this you need to tell me now...." her eyes focused a bit at that, the hand that had tangled in his jacket gripped a little tighter, unconsciously begging for him already. "Once I start I'm not sure I'll be able to stop, beautiful." He added slowly, with a light nip to her ear.

He kissed the skin under it gently at first, a light peck before moving down a bit, kiss by kiss until he found her soft spot and started sucking and biting. He kept it more lips and tongue rather than teeth, knowing she wasn't ready for anything too rough. He was going to take such good care of his jagi. The breathy moan she released accompanied with the death grip she had on his jacket and arm had him grinning in her neck. "Are you ready jagi?"

She was whining low and needy, nodding her head and not letting go of him as he pulled up and stood straight. He unbuttoned his jacket, shrugging it off his shoulders and her hands fall away from him. He held her in place with nothing but his gaze alone.

"Always use your words," he instructed, folding the jacket in half and setting it down with care. "When I speak to you, I expect an answer."

His sweetheart nodded at first before stuttering out an 'okay'. He tugged her hand, having her stand and helping her take off her own jacket. "Where's your room jagi?" He asks, hiding his grin until she turned to lead the way. He squeezed her hand a bit. "Words angel."

"My room is up the stairs and down this hall." She supplied quickly, eager to please him, "along with my office, and my closet and bathroom. Down the other hall is two guest rooms, a sitting room and another bathroom."

Namjoon made a noise in the back of his throat, nodding his approval and gripping her hip as they went. Her room only held a bed, a very big bed, a chair in the middle of the room facing the floor to ceiling windows and a bedside table. Though she did have a pair of panties and a night dress thrown against the wall but neither cared as Namjoon spun her around, both hands against her waist and kissing her again. She gripped his arm and neck, excited and wanting more but Namjoon was prepared to take his time. He was going to have her begging for him before all her clothes were even off, and considering she only had on a few items it would be a challenge. But one he was more than willing to take head on. He sucked another mark into her neck, loving the way her head fell back and she moaned. It was going to be a long and beautiful night, he grinned.

[troublesometrollhunters]

Zouxie (Zoe X Douxie)

Merry Christmas and Happy Secret Santa to a fellow T.O.A fan! For you @dreamsarelikedragonflies!!! You asked for any Wizards content particularly Zouxie or Jlaire so I wrote a little Zouxie Snow fluff thing and made a fun asesthtic for our favourite punk wizards! :D

~~~

 Douxies breathing was heavy as he rushed through the woods cutting through them to get to the park. Leaves brushed past him smacking his face as roots snagged at his shoes tripping him as he ran forward. His breathing came out in deep huffs as he raced to where he was heading.

  Archie who'd been on his shoulder had hoped off after the ravenette hadn't been careful and he'd gotten a faceful of leaves. The familiar was now flying next to his charge, avoiding difficult obstacles the forest provided as he weaved around the trees and low hanging branches. Douxie cursed at his own impulsiveness speeding up. She was gonna lose her cool one of these days and it was going to cost him his relationship. Archie seemed to always be warning him about how if he kept diving headfirst into danger especially on date night it was gonna bite him. Sadly the dragon was right as always.

   After closing down the café something had caught his eye and he had to investigate. Well together, Archie and him had found a growing nest of shadow mephits. They'd blasted the poor creatures apart, sending the whole nest back to the netherworld but it took way longer than expected. And now, now Douxie feared something far scarier. 

 He was late. He was late. He was late. He was late again and Zoe was going to kill him. Bursting out of the woods stumbling through a bush he catches himself. Dirt and leaves covered his hoodie making him hiss. Archie landed on his shoulder licking his hair grooming him and Douxie had no doubt that twigs were stuck in his ponytail. Sighing as Archie tried to clean him up he didn't care about appearances. It's not like Zoe did either, at the moment he was way more concerned with the time than his disheveled looks. Still heaving out air trying to catch his breath he paused to look around the clearing. Unable to speak full sentences yet he snaps his fingers pointing up.

 "Archie..." Douxie begs his friend and the dragon nods launching himself off the wizards shoulder. Looking around frantically for his pink haired girlfriend Archie soars above the trees searching for her as well. Distracted with finding her he didn't hear the footsteps sneaking up behind him. Stiffening as he feels a hard smack and muttering an owww, he turns quickly and sees her. It was Zoe.

  Relief crosses his features as he does his best to catch his breath so he can muster an apology. Opening his mouth she holds out a hand as she frowns at him. Her fingers are warm and looking at Zoe a spark of electricity zapped over his lips making him blush. He smiles but she's not in the mood. 

 "You're late." She states putting a hand on her hip and glaring up at him. Douxie chuckles nervously before swallowing at the intense look. He was happy Zoe hadn't gone home even if she was mad at him. If she'd left before he got to explain she'd be pissed for days. If he could get a word in hopefully she'd rage but then probably forgive him by tomorrow. The second option was more appealing but from the look on her face explaining could make the situation so much worse. Trying to think of what to say Douxie scratches the back of his head fishing out a stick from his ponytail. He tosses it aside and meeting Zoes burning blue eyes he blushes. 

 "I'm here now?" He asks with a playful laugh trying to lighten the mood but Zoe looks unamused. She flicks a leaf out of his hair and raises a brow scanning his messy form. "I can explain." He states defensively as he holds up his hands smiling at her.

 She rolls her eyes uninterested and begins walking away arms crossed.

 "Wait! Wait!" Douxie begs following closely behind as Zoe starts stalking away. 

 "Your burger was getting cold and I got hungry so I ate it." Zoe says pausing to vent her frustration. He notices a crumpled up bag sticking out of the nearby bin and sighs. He had a feeling she had waited way longer than usual if she dug into his food. Or maybe him being late made her spiteful so she tore into the burger trying to calm down. They weren't always the best at talking things out but they were working on it and honestly anything from her was a relief at the moment. As she huffed at him facing away from him arms crossed he signs. 

 "Zoe... Snow?" Douxies about to explain himself. Plead his case that a hoard of shadow mephits had jumped out at him after his shift and distracted him from coming but he noticed white flakes falling from the sky. As they landed the stark white against Zoes pink hair couldn't be ignored. What was snow doing in California? It was chilly sure but it wasn't even cold enough for his breath to show. How was there snow? 

 "What are you blubbering on about?" Zoe demands turning to yell at him some more. Her blue eyes flash pink as she glares at him about to give Douxie an earful but his own green brown eyes are soft as he steps closer. Zoes breath catches in her throat as Douxie stops in front of her. She looks up at him flustered before he reaches out. He brushes something out of Zoe's hair, his brows furrowed. Her flustered expression changes to shock, her eyes widening as she sees white flakes on his fingers before they melt away. 

 "... Snow?" She mumbles. Looking up the wizards noticed the night sky had become much darker as gray clouds rolled in. They'd been so distracted talking to each other they hadn't even noticed. It seemed someone had been messing around with weather spells, this couldn't be a natural snow storm. Not in the climate or this time of year.  

 "Well love we can argue later I think we have more pressing issues to deal with." Douxie states seeing that the flakes were getting thicker as the snowfall became heavier. The storm was fast approaching and there was a dark presence in the air. Hands glowing Douxie nudges Zoe behind him worried as Archie flies down. 

 per the dragon had perched on a nearby tree to give them some privacy but the snow brought him back. 

 "Yeah that's a no brainer fuzzbuckets. Now why the heck is there about to be a freak blizzard in California?" Zoe questions nose crinkling as she turns towards the storm clouds. She never really liked cold weather.

   The snow becomes heavier and soon the wind follows blowing endless white their way. Zoe shivers not dressed for this but Douxies attention shifts from her as Archie hisses lowly. His familiar had never liked snow either but seeing it was magically summoned and probably deadly put the dragon more on edge. 

 "What is it Arch?" Douxie asks softly. Archies claws dig into Douxies jacket as he tenses. He takes a deep sniff of the air before beginning to morph into a much bigger form, clinging tightly to Douxie. His hackles raise as he begins to hiss lowly tail swinging back and forth in aggression as his eyes narrow.

 "Ice giants." He growls.

 "Ice giants? Here?" Zoe questions unsure. Maybe it was just a freak snow spell?

 Suddenly a blue foot comes crashing down from behind a building rattling shop windows and making cars shake before their alarms go off. A creature of ice and snow it stood thirteen feet tall with a tattered kilt to cover it's blue tinted legs and a long icicle club.

 "Here." Archie responds hissing low in his throat. Everyone pauses watching as the ice giants begin to multiple as they walk towards them. At least the creatures were mostly away from people and in an open clearing, if they made a plan together they could take them down without causing too much damage.

 "Okay Zoe we need-" Douxie starts but she's not listening. 

 "Well let's do this!" Charging excited for a fight, electricity explodes from Zoe's hands as she shoots an ice giant in its chest. The pink lightning that explodes from her fingertips gives the park a bright glow before it zaps the giant making it crumble harmlessly into snow. Douxie shakes his head forcing himself to stop watching his girlfriend as another monster attacks and he follows Zoes lead.

 "Be careful love!" He calls worried but Zoe was doing just fine melting and exploding the giants. Snow rained down around her bouncing pink light off her face as she shot her magic. The beasts crumpled before her and Douxie was starstruck by her power and brute determination.  

 As he stares at Zoe enamoured Archie swipes at his face.

 "Pay attention to the battle Hisirdoux!" He scolds and Douxie nods. As Archie spits a fireball Douxie amplifies the spells power, melting several of the giants. Standing back to back with Zoe her hands glow pink as his burn blue. He looks at the frost creatures that were slowly surrounding them. 

 "Who could've sent them?" Archie asks as Douxie blasts one of them back. Zoe shrugs, zapping another giant that got too close. Icy wind blew back her hair and she hissed sniffling at the cold. 

 "Maybe they're lost?" Zoe asks before she gives Douxie a sharp shove and dodges a giant club. Douxie smiles at her happy for the save but Zoe ignores him. She shoots electricity at the ice monster that had tried to squish her and it becomes a flurry of snow as she breathes in. Taking that as a hint to find out what's happening and keep fighting rather than apologizing Douxoe noticed the creatures looked similar to golems which might explain why they collapsed into snow once struck. They didn't seem like snow spirits but rather controlled creatures. 

 "Maybe but it's more likely they were summoned!" Douxie responds. He taps his bracelet searching for another powerful fire rune hoping to burn them all down and be done with it. "Besides Ice giants don't like leaving their territory! Someone must of brought them here!" Well that's what he assumed at least. Last time he fought Ice Giants he was in Sweden a couple hundred years ago looking for some ancient texts. As far as he knew Ice giants never came out this far and they didn't just dissolve away like this.

 "DUCK!" Snapping back to attention Douxie huffs as he sees the crater that was almost him. Looking at Zoe wanting to apologize first for missing their date and now this mess she's already on the other side of the battle field trying to lead the ice creatures into the forest away from all the easily damaged park and innocent street shops. 

 "Zoe I-" He calls but she's only focused in the fight. 

 "Hisirdoux!" Archie calls and Douxie turns eyes wide. Bringing up his arms to defend himself unable to cast a shield in time, the hairs on his arms stand up. 

 "HEY! ONLY I GET TO HURT HIM!" 

A pink blast of 1000 volts of electricity were shot over Douxies head directly at the ice giants heart. The magic made contact and it exploded into a million pieces sending ice and snow everywhere. 

 "Thanks Zoe-" Douxie says smiling but Zoe isn't having it as she cuts him off. 

 "DON'T BE A DUMMY FOCUS ON THE FIGHT!" She orders before turning and facing the Giants that were slowly cornering her. Douxie nods. He turns towards his own foes and the fight goes on. 

~~~

About an hour later and they had won. The last few flakes of snow fluttered around them as the ice giants began to melt away. They didn't know who sent these creatures but they were taking care of themselves and nothing seemed to be amiss. Panting heavily Douxie smiled at Zoe who'd saved his ass during that fight more than once. 

 "I'd just like-" He starts wanting to apologize for all of this but Zoe wasn't having it. He guess he deserved the cold shoulder all things considered.

 "Hey dork?" Turning to face Zoe she grabbed his hoodie before pulling him into a kiss. Melting into it, like the snow was doing around them he leaned in cupping Zoes face. She smiles eyes tinged pink like her cheeks from the overuse of magic. Closing his eyes humming happily as he continues Zoe pulls away breathless. Laughing softly she leans into his chest hugging him tight and Douxie tucks her head under his chin as they take a moment to breathe.

  Pulling away far too quickly for Douxie's taste she smiles walking back towards the town. He blinks as he realizes the kiss was a distraction and she'd snagged his hoodie. "You're buying the burgers this time! I'm starving thanks to that little squable." She states taking out his wallet from his jacket pocket. Douxie shakes his head following after his mischievous girlfriend who'd seemed to forgiven him.

   Archie purrs looking up at Zoe and Zoe smiles scooping the familiar into her arms and cooing. "And your getting a treat for Archie too." She adds nuzzling the cat. Archie makes pleased sounds and curls up in her arms adoringly. Douxie chuckles smiling at Zoe as he follows her.

 "Deal. Oh and Zoe?" Zoe hums in response and Douxie steals a quick kiss on her cheek. "Love ya." He states before running off to where the burger shack was. 

 "WHY YOU LITTLE!" Chuckling as he keeps running he smiles, frostbitten but happy. He loved her more than she'd ever know. 

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Thirty-Four: The Revelation

Rated PG-13 For mentions of abuse, trigger topics such as suicidal thoughts, torture, language, and kidnaping.

Masterlist

~I am not the only traveler

And then I can tell myself

I had all and then most of you

When the night was full of terrors

There aren't very many things worse than watching one's little brother die. I think the only thing worse than that is enduring it twice. I had already had to watch Jasper be slaughtered like a pig in front of me. Wasn't that torture enough for a lifetime? Was having to salt and burn my own brother the universe's twisted idea of a joke? This wasn't funny!

What kind of cruel world was I living in? Why did my last words to my precious little brother have to be empty promises? How was that okay? Jasper would spend the rest of eternity waiting for me to show up, tell him my stories, and tuck him into bed, but I never would. Because if I lived, I would be stuck down here on this awful planet, reliving the same day over and over and over again. And if the Winchester's decided to kill me when they found out what I was, then I wouldn't be going to heaven. I already knew where I would go. It wasn't anywhere good.

Well, if my life was a joke then I hoped at least somebody was getting a kick out of it.

I knew I wasn't.

From the top of the stairs, I heard Sam, Dean, and Cas open the sliding glass door and shuffle outside. Jack firmly insisted on staying here. He probably thought he should stay in case I ' needed him ' for comfort or something.

'Well, joke's on you, puppy, cause I don't need anyone.' I thought, bitterly. I traveled down the dark hallway to my room, the one with the plain white door all the way down on the end. The door opened with a soft click and squeaky hinges and I kicked it shut behind me.

My room was exactly how I had left it. Not a single thing was out of place. Of course, it was about as far away from immaculate as anything can get. There were pieces of paper strewn all over the desk, plenty of wadded-up sketches in the trash can and even more outside the trash, pencils were left in strange places, and mix-matched fairy-lights draped over  way  too many things. Miscellaneous articles of clothing were draped over a chair, clustered around the laundry basket, crumpled on the bed, and a few were even hanging from the doorframe of the closet. The bed wasn't made, the blankets and sheets hopelessly tangled together and there was an atrocious number of glow-in-the-dark stars glued to the roof. Oh, and let us not forget the rainbow-colored streamers hanging from the ceiling fan, so really everything was just an absolute mess.

But it was a comforting mess and that's how that girl who used to be me had lived. She had been a scatterbrained, messy-haired, and bright-eyed sort of girl, she'd had so much potential. That girl could have great. Her mess comforted me too. Maybe she wasn't as dead as I'd thought.

"Well, I'm just about done with this whole damn popsicle-stand of existence. You?" Isaac asked, sounding more dead than he looked.

"Done," I agreed. "So, so done."

I flopped down on my already messy bed, staring up at the tacky stars on the ceiling while I tried to come to terms with the fact that I'd never see my little brother again. I couldn't feel the prickling of tears forming in my eyes. I guess I'd run all out of tears to cry. Lucky me. I felt like throwing up.

"Should we go down fighting or give up and roll over? What say you?" Isaac collapsed at the foot of my bed.

"What's the point in fighting?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Dunno." He shrugged. "Frequent flyer miles?"

"So... Nothing?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Maybe I would just attack the Winchesters once I tore Felix to sheds. Maybe they wouldn't kill me fast. Maybe they'd make me suffer. Then maybe I could cry like I was supposed to.

I had hardly been debating those thoughts for a minute when I heard footsteps pounding up the stairs. Oh, joy. Five minutes of peace was all I'd asked for and apparently I couldn't even get that. Screw my life.

The door flew open with an overly dramatic bang but I didn't flinch. Jack stood in the doorway, eyes alight like molten gold. I turned my head lazily to face him, aware of my void expression but ultimately indifferent to it. I couldn't even bring myself to act like the fake version of myself I had made to fool the Winchesters. I felt oddly numb like nothing mattered. Because honestly, what did? Not even getting my revenge on Felix would change anything. Things wouldn't get better, my life would still suck to an astronomical degree, and this whole stupid world would just keep turning like it always did. Getting revenge was just self-indulgence, really. So what if Jack saw the real me for a couple of hours?

With luck, I'd be dead by morning.

With luck, he'd be the one to kill me.

I deserved it.

"Welcome to the year Nineteen-Thirty, puppy. What do you want?" I addressed him. My tone was clipped, calloused, and cold, but I didn't care.

Jack's eyes were glowing and the air was charged with his power; it made my hair stand on end and my ears hurt like when a plane takes off. Yet, oddly enough, if there and been one in my hand, I would have been swirling chocolate milk in a wine glass for all I'd cared.

Jack didn't answer me. His mouth opened and closed and opened and closed. There was something in his eyes, something akin to desperation. He knew what he wanted to say but the words died in his throat.

"You deaf, honey-bug?" I lifted an eyebrow and took an actual glance at his expression. He didn't look angry. He looked...

Terrified.

And shocked.

And torn.

And betrayed.

I did this. It was me. I had hurt him.

His hands clutched an object tightly between them with enough force to turn his knuckles white. It was a picture frame. I caught a glimpse of the picture within; it had been taken two weeks to the day I'd died. I looked back up to his eyes.

Ah, yes. There it was. The recognition. What a clever, clever boy.

He'd finally put all the pieces together.

'Well, good for him.'

"Uh, oh spaghetti-oh's; looks like the Nephil knows," Isaac droned from the foot of my bed.

"What are you?" Jack asked, his voice trembling. He blinked back tears, biting down on his lower lip to keep it from trembling.

I blinked, feeling sick. I didn't want to lose him, I realized. As much as the bitterness inside me tempted me to bite into him and taste his sweet blood or tell him the truth and watch him squirm just for a distraction from the pain, I couldn't. Because then I'd lose him. I didn't want to lose him. I'd already lost Jazzy today for the second time, I couldn't lose Jack too.

Isaac turned to me, his expression as empty as mine. "Ya gonna tell him?"

"I am Miss. Nidsbit," I answered, flatly. It was supposed to sound friendly like I was teasing, but it only came off as evasive. Jack glared at me. It was already happening; I was already losing him. I guess I deserved that much.

"Don't joke," He said.

"I thought it was hilarious," Isaac chimed.

"In that case, I'm bottled-depression." I flashed my teeth in a way that held no joy whatsoever. "Pint-sized for your convenience," I added, trying for a familiar joke about my height. It sounded empty.

"That was better," My brother snickered, leaning back and closing his eyes. He was probably just going to keep making sarcastic jabs in an attempt to vent his anger, so I ignored him.

"I asked you a question," Jack growled in a way that somehow managed to be threatening despite the whole baby-face puppy-eyed thing he had going on. It was actually kinda hot... Wait, what? When had that happened?

"And I answered you." I sat up. Why did I sound so bitter? Why couldn't I change it? My eyes flicked down to Jack's throat without my permission. His skin looked so soft and I realized I was suddenly famished. My throat burned and desire reared its ugly head inside me. Isaac's voice snapped my attention back to reality.

"Oh dear, Marty. You made the Nephil sniffle."

Jack clenched his teeth and hissed, seemingly bothered by the fact that I wasn't afraid of him. He wouldn't hurt me, right? No, he would. He would hurt me if he knew. If he knew what I wanted to do to him. I wanted him to hold me as he had a few days ago but I wanted to sink my teeth into him at the same time. I deserved to die.

"What are you?" He repeated, taking a step forward. He would hurt me. Good.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied, my voice inflectionless. Wandering towards my dresser I started fiddling with some meaningless piece of junk. Anything for a distraction from his soft throat and thrumming pulse. Jack's glowing eyes followed me.

"Y-you're lying," He said. He was trying to sound strong, but there was something broken in his tone.

"Ya think?" I deadpanned. Jack swallowed thickly; his hand shot out to grab my wrist, eyes fading back to their soft blue.

"This isn't funny, Marty. Stop." His eyes pleaded with me. I eyed his hand.

"Or what?" I challenged. What would he do to me? He looked me in the eyes, frowning and moving closer to me. He needed to step away. I caught my gaze drifting to his neck again but I couldn't stop.

"I really don't want to hurt you," He said.

'Then don't make me tell you.' I thought. His eyes searched my face for any glimpse of his friend, but that girl had never been real, not really anyway. I had made her up.

I wished I could go back in time. Back to the night we met. We could do it all over again and maybe, if I had another chance, he wouldn't figure it out. Maybe it would've been better if I'd never come with Jack in the first place. I wished we could go back to the night we met. Then I could have said no. If I hadn't come with him, I never would have hurt Jack like this. If he had never touched me then I would never have had to feel this pain. If I could just go back.

"And you won't," I said, taking a chance.

Jack huffed, his expression pained.

"This is freakin' five-star entertainment," Isaac mused, resting his chin on his fist, observing Jack and me.

"Please, Marty," Jack begged in a whisper. His sweet-smelling breath was warm as it washed over my face. His eyes flicked down to my lips but only for a split second. No, no. Anything but that. "Just tell me the truth."

'You already know it.'

"I have," I lied. Everything kept coming out wrong! I sounded emotionless like I didn't care but I did! Jack's soft expression melted into one of betrayal.

"So, you're just going to lie?" He asked. "Right to my face?"

I didn't have control over what slipped from my lips next.

"Says the Devil's kid."

"Ooh! One point to the Marty!" Isaac laughed.

Jack stared at me like he was heartbroken. Then his eyes narrowed into a glare, lighting with gold as he released my wrist and moved his hand to seize my throat. He whirled us around and slammed me into a wall with more force than I'm sure than he intended to use. Not that I couldn't take it. Without so much as a flinch, I tilted my head as much as I could with Jack cutting off my air supply.

"Tell me what you are!" He shouted. There was desperation there.

"That's quite the grip ya got there, puppy," I taunted, rasping. He loosened his grip but only slightly, holding the picture of my family up for me to see, the corner was dated January 8th, 2014.

"You said they died five years ago. This picture- it was taken five years ago! You said you were nine then! But y-you - you weren't!" Jack's eyes were wide, almost crazed as he glanced from the girl in the picture and back to me. He knew the truth; he just didn't want to believe it. His voice softened. "You haven't aged a day. Five years and you haven't aged a day."

My voice was soft and it wasn't just from the lack of air. "I aged about a month, actually."

Jack let go of my throat like I was burning him, shaking his head as he backed away like a frightened animal. As well he should. He was the prey here and I did want to kill him. But I wanted him to hold me again even more. "Y-you're one of them..." He whispered.

'Don't leave me. I'm sorry, just don't leave me!' I thought desperately, but that wasn't what came out. I felt trapped in my own skin, the monster inside me taking over, fed by my own bitterness.

"I'd say something along the lines of 'say it out loud' but I'm pretty sure that would have copywrite issues," I said, shrugging and moving back to sit on my bed. Jack watched me carefully.

"Felix - h-he turned you. He made you just like him - a vampire... You're a monster!" He spat the word like it was snake-venom.

And it hurt. It hurt so freaking bad. It was like I had lodged a knife in my own chest years ago and now Jack was twisting it.

'I know I am.' I wanted to say.

"Well that's a harsh way of putting it. But I've been called worse." I brushed it off like I didn't care like it wasn't that deep like I wasn't  bleeding  to tell him how sorry I was. I lowered my head in shame.

"I-I have to tell Sam and Dean," Jack said, shifting onto the balls of his feet, edging towards the door. He was going to make a run for it. Suddenly, I was in control of my body again.

I couldn't let him. I needed more time. I needed to beat Felix first and then they could all find out. I had to fix this. I could still fix this.

I had made Jack forget once.

I could do it again.

I would take us back in time. Before he knew. Make everything right. Take us back to the night we met.

He had to forget.

"I can't let you do that," I spoke softly, my gaze still focused on my feet.

"Are you going to try to kill me?" He asked accusingly.

"No." I shook my head. No, I could never kill him. I was too selfish for that. He deserved someone so much better than me. But I loved him.

"Then what are you going to do?" Jack shifted closer to the exit.

"Isaac," I glanced at my brother out of the corner of my eye. Jack stiffened, his eyes snapping to where mine went. "Get the door."

"On it!" Isaac said, overly eager. Jack bolted but he was too slow. My brother flicked his wrist and the door swung closed with a click. Jack swallowed thickly and glanced back to me, fear filling his features. I knew what he was going to try next.

'This is necessary. One day I'll be sorry.'

"His wings," I said to Isaac, my voice breaking. Isaac grinned widely and reached out, making a pinching motion. Jack froze in a panic, then he clenched his eyes shut groaning as Isaac twisted his hands just a bit.

"Can I rip 'em off?" He asked, basking in the Nephilim's pain.

"Isaac, no!"

"Oh, come on," He twisted his hands even more and Jack cried out, his innocent face twisting in agony. "Just a little?"

"Stop! Just-" I sighed. "Please, don't hurt him, Isaac. Just keep him still, please."

Isaac rolled his eyes. "Oh, fine!" He let go and Jack fell to the ground, panting and shaking. He did his best to get to his feet but Isaac flung him into a wall, pinning him there. "Go ahead and Obliviate the simp."

I stood and stepped towards Jack, slowly and carefully, trying not to scare him any more than I had. I could tell he was trying desperately to move but Isaac was too strong.

"What are you going to do?" Jack demanded, trying to hide the fear in his voice. "Are you going to drink my blood?!"

I froze.

Because I could. Then, I could make him forget.

I glanced at his throat. My fangs ached to come out - to bite.  I could imagine what it might feel like to bury my teeth in that soft, delicious-smelling skin. I could imagine what he might taste like. He'd be sweet like candy. I could be gentle! Maybe if he could somehow understand how badly I needed him then he'd let me. And he heals fast so he'd be okay.

But he wouldn't understand. And I wanted him to hold me again.

I just wanted Jack to hold me again.

"No," I said. I plucked the picture frame from his hands, gazing at the smiles of my family for a moment. I looked up, trying to smile despite the ache of grief and guilt in my chest. "I'm going to need you to forget this."

"I wish I could," Jack said, glaring at the floor. He couldn't even look at me. He couldn't even look.

I nodded. "You will."

"W-what?"

I sighed and moved over to the window. The crisp breeze blew in from the sea as I threw it open, the curtains billowing like vicious barking dogs on a leash. It was a long way down to the black rocks where the land met the ocean. I dropped the picture and watched it tumble until it smashed into the rocks, shattering that perfect picture frame, shattering my picture-perfect family into a million pieces.

"I can make you forget," I told him, over my shoulder. "Take us back to the night we met." The power inside me trilled with excitement; it wanted Jack, it craved him. Or maybe that was just the monster I was, begging to be unleashed. I turned away from the window, closing it as I did.

"What do you mean?" He asked cautiously. He was scared. He was  so  scared.

"I'm going to talk to you, and then you're going to forget, and everything will be back to the way it was." I would fix this. His arms would be around me as soon as I fixed this and everything would be okay. I hung my head and let the power inside me launch forward and wrap itself like chains around my Nephilim. I could feel his light, his grace, fighting back but it had nothing substantial to fight. My power wasn't physical, I just imagined it being so.

"No! W-wait!" Jack watched me with dread, beginning to feel the effects of what I was doing to him. I was locking his memories away, locking him up in his own head. But I had to. Because he wouldn't understand and I needed him.

"I have to do this," I whispered, digging my mental claws in deeper.

"Stop," He gasped, beginning to tremble with effort, "Whatever you're doing, just stop!"

"I can't stop, Jack. I'm sorry, but I just need a little more time," I said, gently. "Four moves and I win."

"Four moves..." He mumbled to himself, his brows furrowing, "Four moves? I-I've heard that before. Where have I heard that before?" Then he groaned and squeezed his eyes shut again.

"Please, just forget. I need you to forget."

'I need you to hold me again.'

"Get out of my head!" Jack's voice rose with panic. He flinched away from me as much as he could but Isaac kept him pinned and helpless.

"I'm gonna make everything okay again. I promise." I fought harder against him, willing my power to work faster. Jack moaned and I glanced up to see his face contorted with pain.

"Please!" He begged me, grimacing, "Please, stop! Marty, please. It hurts." I tried harder, and a choked sob escaped his throat. "Marty, please! It hurts! It hurts! You have to stop! Please!"

"I wish you hadn't found out, Jack, and one day I'll be sorry about this."

"Wait. Wait, no!"

I pushed my power harder than I ever had before.

A horrifying scream of pure agony ripped from Jack's throat. But the walls of this house were built to withstand hurricanes. I was the only one who could hear him. With one last burst of effort, I overpowered the walls of his grace and my power flooded his mind, wiping away any memories of what I was. His scream faltered into groans and those softened into whimpers and Jack's body went limp.

Isaac let go and the Nephilim collapsed but I caught him before his head hit the floor. Carding my fingers through his hair, I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. Picking him up, I carried him to my bed and laid him there. He weighed more than I did, obviously, but he didn't feel very heavy to me. I laid down beside him, hugging him around the middle and pressing my face into his chest.

Then I finally cried.

"I hope you can forgive me before I'm sorry. Because I'm a liar and don't think I'll ever really regret this."

***

"You hear something?" Sam asked, perking up. Castiel sat dutifully on a large black bolder, watching the house. The angel flicked his eyes to Sam and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head before focusing back on the house.

"Hm? Uh, no." Dean hardly spared a glance. He was too busy drawing inappropriate words in the sand with his foot. Sam frowned.

"Weird." He shook his head, swallowing thickly as he paced back and forth across the moonlit sand.

"Martina threw a picture frame from her window and it shattered against the rocks approximately sixty-two feet south-east of where you are standing," Castiel informed him, "Perhaps that's what you heard."

Sam shook his head again, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no. It, uh, it wasn't that. I just- I-I coulda' sworn I heard someone..." He trailed off. 'Scream,' He wanted to say. The sound had been like a phantom pain; intense yet insubstantial.

'Just like the visions...' Sam thought. But no. That wasn't possible. He hadn't had a vision or any manifestation of psychic abilities for going on twelve years! He was probably just imagining things. Sam pushed the thought away as soon as it had come. It was impossible... Right?

Yet still, his eyes wandered to the window on the upstairs floor of the dark house; the only window with a slim shaft of light peaking through the curtains. Because what if...

No .

No. Everything was fine, Jack would have alerted them if there was any danger - or at least - the brothers and their angel would've been able to see if Jack thought there was any danger. Judging by the lack of explosions, Sam could assume that everything was fine.

There was no trap here after all. Although, if he thought about it, that may have been the trap in itself. That monster called Felix had lured Marty back here to relive the most painful day of her life. There had been no vamps waiting to do her any physical harm, but Felix didn't need them to. He just wanted that poor, sweet, little girl to hurt.

And, boy was she hurting.

Sam knew how it felt to lose a brother. He knew how it felt to watch his brother die twice. Hell! Sam had watched Dean die more than one hundred times on the one hundred worst Tuesdays of his life. It had made him feel empty inside - hollow. Like somebody had scraped out everything inside of him, the good and the bad, and had left an utter nothingness in its place. And in the face of all that nothing, fear had gripped Sam's heart like a vice. Fear of that emptiness - of all the unspeakable things it made him willing to do. Sam had been willing - eager even - to do whatever it took if it meant filling that awful hole inside of him.

That was what scared him. It was that ruthlessness. It was that titanium will he'd always shied away from. It was when he'd looked into a mirror and seen John Winchester staring back at him. Deep down, that was what both Sam and Dean had always feared the most. Becoming their father. Becoming the shell of a man that had raised them.

Sam could see the beginnings of a similar shell-forming in Martina. He had seen it when they'd rescued her from that shed the week before. Her shell wasn't made of hate like John's had been - not completely at least. Marty's shell had come from grief and fear. She was just trying to hide; both from Felix and from the shell of a person that she was becoming. Jack had told Sam about Marty's memory gaps - about how she couldn't remember what had happened in the shed after she had left. Sam knew that traumatized people tend to blot things out, it was common. But things like the shed and her return to her childhood home could only serve to send Marty further into her shell.

And the last thing the world needed was another John Winchester.

"These kids were livin' a dream, aye Sammy?"

Sam frowned as Dean's mumbled words knocked him from his train of thought. "H-how do you mean?"

"I mean, look! They had everything!" He said, gesturing from the white sand of the beach to the black rocks to the brine woods. His tone and expression grew sober. "Just like a little fairy-tale. And, I mean, three psychics? Those kids - they had a lotta' potential. So smart and talented and now..." Dean trailed off with a frown.

"Yeah..." Sam quietly agreed. Dean turned to his brother with a pensive expression.

"Got me thinkin', maybe-" He sighed. It was hard for him to say and he didn't want to say it. Even though Dean knew that Marty was capable of more than she seemed and that she could affect his emotions, he didn't really care.

Well, he did  care . Dean hated people screwing with his head or his feelings, period. But somehow Marty was different. He didn't really care to admit it, but Dean had always wanted a daughter. A sweet soul he could love and care for but definitely, with a badass side, he could bestow his knowledge upon. Claire was a close as he had gotten but she had already grown up and she didn't want his help. To Claire, Dean was only a painful reminder of all she'd lost.

And, of course, there was Emma.

But Dean didn't like to think about her.

Thinking about Emma was too painful.

But Marty was still young, and she didn't see Dean the way Clair did. Marty looked at Dean with hope in her eyes and he desperately wanted to keep it that way.

Jack had used to look at him that way. Jack didn't look at him like that anymore.

Because Dean had messed up with Jack. He could admit that now. He'd messed up and he'd messed up bad. Things had gotten better between them; little by little over time. But Jack hadn't even been five days old when Dean had promised to take his life. After that, Jack had only watched Dean with fear. Not hope. Just sheer friggin' terror on his face whenever the elder Winchester walked into the room. And though things had gotten better, they'd always have that promise between them.

That promise from the night when if Dean had only been a better person he could have made things better and not worse like he always did. (Because he was always making things worse. Always too selfish. Always screwing things up. Always getting people hurt. It was always him, always his fault.) Dean could've snatched that knife from Jack's hands and told him it was going to be alright even if it didn't seem like it would be. And Dean could've given the kid the kind of hug he should've been given the day he was born; a father's hug, just like Castiel would have given him if he'd been alive to do it. Because that was Cas's son. That was Cas's kid! Oh, God... Cas... How could Dean have let his best friend down so horribly? Cas, who had given everything up for him and his brother. Cas had saved them time and time again at his own expense. Cas, who would bleed every drop of blood he had with a smile on his face, all in the name of the Winchesters. How could Dean have betrayed him like that? It wasn't enough for Dean to just let the angel die!  (It was Dean's fault, of course. It always was. How couldn't it be? He could have prevented it. If he'd just been a little faster or a little smarter.) No, he had to go and tear that innocent kid to pieces just cause he was sad. (So, selfish. How could he be so selfish? Why was he always so selfish?) Cas had trusted Dean with his son and Dean had repaid him with the promise to take Jack's life. No wonder Jack still could hardly bear to look Dean in the eyes. How could he? Dean wasn't meant to be a father to anyone. He was too frickin' selfish for that.

But this time, things would be different. This time around, Dean would be different - he would be better. For once in his life, he would be selfless and he'd do the right thing even if it possibly meant giving up his only chance to raise a little girl. Because, despite being tainted by darkness and tears, there was still so much good inside Martina Linville. She had so much potential, with the right chances, she could grow up to be great. But she would need those right chances and she wouldn't get them if she stayed with the Winchester's broken little family. All they brought to people was tears and death.

Dean didn't want that for her. She deserved better. Just like Dean himself and his brother had deserved better. She deserved to live a life free from all this pain - a good life, a happy life. Dean wanted that for her. Dean just wanted to help. That was all he'd ever wanted. The last thing Marty needed was more darkness in her life. She didn't need them in her life.

She didn't need him in her life.

So, Dean would be selfless and he would let her go and he would give her the chance to shine like the stars she loved so much. It was probably the most fatherly thing he could do for her. 'Cause Dean just wasn't cut out to be a Dad.

But, oh, did he wish he could be one. Even though he knew that Marty's empathic abilities were probably what was making him feel so strongly about her, Dean couldn't help but go along with it. It wasn't like she was stuffing thoughts in his head; his feelings may have been bolstered but Dean's mind was his own. Dean had always wanted a daughter, Marty hadn't made that up that wish, she'd just reminded him of it. He felt awful about how he had treated Jack and craved a chance at redemption for his mistakes; Dean had made those choices, all Marty had done was exist to give him a chance. Sure, she was rioting his emotions. But what did that matter? Because Dean wanted this and damn it! This felt real!

But he couldn't have it.

Because Dean, and his brother, and their angel, and - yes - even Jack -- it was all some sick, screwed up, god damn beautiful tragedy -- But they were the last thing Martina Linville needed.

So, Dean would be selfless.

"Thinkin' about what?" Sam's question shook Dean from his reverie and back to what he'd been meaning to say.

"Maybe we should put her into the system after all this," He said, thoughtfully, though there was regret in his tone also. Sam blinked twice, shaking his head.

"W-what? The system? You mean the foster system?" He asked, incredulously.

"Yeah? Something wrong with that?" Dean responded. Sam gaped at him.

"Is something wrong with that? Dean, everything is wrong with that!" He exclaimed. Dean opened his mouth to argue but Sam didn't let him. "We made Marty a promise! Just this morning you said she was part of the family. Was all that just talk?"

"No, but-"

"Then what the Hell was it, Dean? Because you can't just go back on something like that! We said we'd take care of her," Sam huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at his older brother.

"And that's exactly what we'd be doing," Dean argued, "Giving her a place that's safe."

"Who would take her in? She's fourteen and she's got more trauma than some war veterans, I don't-"

"Exactly!" Dean cut him off. "The kid's got issues! She needs help, the professional kind."

"Since when do you promote therapy? Sam scoffed.

"When it doesn't involve me," Dean grumbled. Sam shook his head, getting back to the point.

"Throwing her on a bunch of strangers with no clue what she's been through, and who couldn't possibly understand her even if they knew, isn't going to help her! She'd get tossed around or thrown into some group therapy home till she's eighteen and then they'd dump her back on the streets where we found her! How is that taking care of her?"

"It's getting her out of this life, Sam," Dean said firmly. Sam glared.

"You mean getting her out of your life," The younger brother spat lowly.

"What did you just say?" Dean asked dangerously.

"You heard me."

"You have somethin' ya wanna say to my face, Sammy?" Dean growled.

"Dean," Castiel said his name like a warning, his hand gripping Dean's shoulder, holding him back.

"Yeah, I do." Sam's nostrils flared and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. "I'm not gonna stand by and watch you do this again."

"Do what again?" Dean questioned, Cas' hand on his shoulder reminding him to keep calm.

"This thing you do. Anytime a kid comes along, you do this. You act all annoyed, then right as you start liking having 'em around something happens and you realize the responsibility and it freaks you out so you back off and you push 'em away."

"I don't do that," Dean said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah? 'Cause you did it with Kevin, you did it with Claire, you did it with Jack, and now you're doing it again right now with Marty. The second things get real, you get scared and you run away." Sam kept eye contact with Dean, challenging him to look away. Dean clenched his teeth, his pride preventing him from losing the contest of wills.

"Quit fooling yourself, Sam. Look at me!" Dean's voice broke just a little. But he cleared his throat, quick to cover his mistake. "Er, at us, I mean. We can't raise a kid!" He protested.

"We raised Jack," Sam countered.

"Because there were  literally no better alternatives!" Dean seethed. Sam opened his mouth but Dean wasn't done. Hyperaware of Castiel's presence just behind him, guilt ate at his heart. But Dean had never been very good at apologies. "And I even screwed that up! I'm not Dad material, Sam. I'm just not!"

His outburst of emotion made Sam blink, rendering him momentarily speechless. He could have spoken his next words gently but pride made them come out like acid.

"I don't think that's what Ben thought," He hissed. Sam knew it was a low-blow bringing up Ben. That wound was still sore.

"Yeah?" Dean laughed but there was no humor in it. "WELL LOOK HOW THAT TURNED OUT!" He yelled. Sam tensed but didn't back off.

"Something isn't real because it lasts, Dean," Sam said, speaking just a little bit gentler now. "For however short a time, Ben had a dad that loved and cared about him. For however short a time, you made him happy. You say you're not dad material, but that's not what I saw. If that's what you're so worried about, then don't be. 'Cause you made an pretty awesome dad, Dean, even if Ben doesn't remember."

Dean sighed in defeat. "We have nothing to give her, Sam."

"We have trust and understanding, a-and that's more than some random foster home could give her."

Dean shook his head. "It doesn't have to be random."

"What do mean?"

"Jody," He suggested, "I mean, she's already got Claire and Alex. What's one more?"

Sam sighed through his nose, shaking his head. "Yeah, she's got Claire and Alex-" He paused giving his older brother a pointed look. "-  And Patience and Kaia. What's one more? That's only five emotionally unstable teenage girls to take care of, on top of a full time job as a sheriff, and hunting to worry about too."

"I agree with Sam," Castiel spoke up, "We cannot simply dump yet another troubled youth onto the already burdened shoulders of Sheriff Mills." Sam gestured to the angel as if accentuate his point.

"But at least she'd be safe," Dean argued, pursing his lips into a thin line.

"From monsters, sure," Sam agreed, nodding. Dean could sense a ' but ' coming. "But not from herself."

"Jody could help Marty just as much as we could - probably more!" He said. Dean could hear Sam grind his teeth in frustration, but Cas held up a hand to speak.

"I don't think that's true, Dean."

"Why not?" Dean asked the angel.

"'Why not?' Haven't you been listening?" Sam exclaimed. Cas shot the younger Winchester a look and he fell silent.

"I am sure Sheriff Mills is a competent and kind woman; however, Martina does not know or trust her. Sending her to live there would only be marginally better than shipping her off to a stranger," The angel stated, evenly.

"What's that gotta do with what Sam said?" Dean asked. Cas gave him a long-suffering look but continued in perfect patience.

"As weary as I am of Martina's true motives and intentions, I think it is plenty clear the choice she faces after the termination of her family's killer. That is, if she has not made her decision already."

Dean's face scrunched with confusion. "What choice is that?"

"The choice of continuing to live free from the threat of Felix Monroe, or..." The angel trailed off, frowning. His tone made Dean feel like there was a knot in his chest.

"Or what?" He pressed, cautiously. Cas sighed.

"Or to end her life and return to her family," Cas finished, soberly.

Dean was stunned. He hadn't thought- He had never realized.

"Wait, whoa. Are you telling me Marty wants to commit suicide?" His eyes were wide with fear and alarm. She was too young for that. Too young to want to kill herself. No. She couldn't. Dean wouldn't let that happen. "Where's this coming from?" He demanded. Sam glared at him.

"She told her little brother she'd be with him soon. Combine that with the scars on her wrists, and it's really not that hard to figure out," He said, coolly.

Scars? Dean understood now. That was why she was always wearing long sleeves, even in the sweltering heat of Florida. Sam took advantage of his older brother's silence.

"Think about it, Dean," He pushed, "Sending her away from first people she's allowed herself to get attached to in five years? You think that will help?"

The thought made Dean reconsider but Sam had more to say.

"A-and think of Jack! You've seen how much he cares about her. I've seen him smile more in these last two and a half weeks than he did in the five months since we got him back from Apocalypse World. What do you think would happen if he found Marty laying in a pool of her own blood? What do you think that would do to him?"

"It would kill him." Dean sighed, nodding in agreement and Sam cracked a smile.

"I mean, we both know he loves her, Dean. And I-I don't mean like a sister," The younger brother said, fondly. Dean chuckled and the tension in the air cleared.

"Yeah, there's definitely a thing there." He shook his head, grinning. "I mean, it's totally weird but it's a thing." Sam nodded and shrugged.

"Well, I dated a demon. I don't think I can judge."

"You can say that again!" Dean laughed.

The sudden chime of a phone ringing cut through the cool nighttime air like a knife and Dean reached to answer. The smile dropped from his face as soon as he caught a glance at the screen.

"Who is it?" Castiel asked.

"Blocked," Dean answered, apprehension filling his voice, "Three guesses as to who." He mumbled, sliding a finger across the screen to pick up the call and putting it on speaker.

"This is Dean Winchester," He announced as the line connected.

There was no voice on the other side of the call.

"Hello?" He tried again.

Again nothing.

Dean could hear someone breathing but they didn't speak. The breaths sounded ragged and uneven like the person was out of breath. There was background noise as well, a deep rumbling that seemed to increase in volume as time wore on. Without warning, the sound of a deep bellowing horn blared from the phone's speaker. It was the sort of horn that typically accompanies a low rumbling noise. It was the sort of horn that accompanies a really, really big train. The sound of the horn grew louder but soon began to fade as the train passed by whoever had been holding the phone. Something told him this wasn't a simple case of a butt-dial. The situation unnerved for some reason he couldn't name. It was like a scene from a movie.

"Tell me who you are or I'm hanging up," Dean said, his voice demanding.

"I-I would'nt d-do that if I were y-you!"  A desperate, ragged voice called from the phone. Dean had gotten it wrong. The person on the phone wasn't Felix. The person on the phone was a little girl and she wasn't out of breath. She was terrified.

"Why not?" He asked, cautiously.

"B-because little Pamala o-only get's this one c-call." The voice on the other end sounded oddly robotic despite the words being broken into syllables by the girl's sobs.

"What do you mean?" He wondered.

"She-she's lu-ucky you picked u-up. If you hadn't I'd have t-old my friends to e-eat swe-eet Pammy here! Sh-she's seven, just so you know!"  The little girl choked out.

"Felix," Dean growled, "You're using the little girl to talk for you?"

"Pamala is a c-cute little pup-pet. But she's a-annoy-ing. If she d-doesn't stop s-stutter-ing, I'll tell one of my f-friends to t-ake a bite!"  The little girl whimpered and took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice for the sake of her life. " So, what shall I make Panama say next?"

Dean gritted his teeth together. To his right, Sam looked like he was going to be sick. But this wasn't just sick, this was downright  vile . On his left, Cas looked about ready to rip that monster apart with his bare hands.

"Why don't you talk to me with your own voice, Nessie? Ya scared?" Dean taunted.

"No. That would ruin the fun of the game." The girl spoke slowly, trying her best to stay calm.

"What game?" Castiel demanded, sounding a step away from livid.

"You hunters and your angel have thirty minutes to come and rescue poor, little Pamala. When time is up, I'll tell my friends to- to r-rip her in- into itty-bitty pieces!" The girl let out a panicked sob after finishing the monster's words.

"How are we supposed to do that?" Dean demanded, fuming. "She could be anywhere!"

"No, not anywhere, Dean. She's sitting all wrapped up in the attic of the Florida East Coast Railway Station at Fort Pierce. I might be there with her too, gives you a chance to catch me just to make things interesting. But you better hurry, I hear t-traffic can be a biatch."

"You're gonna pay for this, you son of a bitch!" Dean growled.

"Watch the language, Dean Winchester. There are children present. You don't wanna spoil little Pamala's innocence, do you?"

Dean was so enraged, he couldn't even speak. Luckily, Sam was thinking the same as he was.

"We're gonna kill you," Sam promised.

"Perhaps. But not before I show y-you the truth."

The truth? What truth?

"This call will end in...

Five...

Four..."

"Stay strong, sweetheart!" Dean called to the little girl on the other side of the phone. "We're gonna come help you!"

"Three...

Two...

One...

...

...

...

Please save me...

...

...

...

I don't wanna die..."

Then the line clicked and the call was over.

Dean clenched his jaw and put the phone away.

"Let's go gank that sick bastard."

~I am not the only traveler

And then I can tell myself

I had all and then most of you

When the night was full of terrors

Lyrics from: The Night We Met by Lord Huron

I had all and then most of you

[cancellablex]

idk something with bottom noel? there seems to be a lack of that in the fandom.

NEEDED! This is short but I do have plans for more bottom Noel in the future! :) Thank you for your prompt!  cw. g’cest!  Explicit! PWP-y. Mentions of Male OC/Noel.

**

find it on ao3 | prompt me!  

Grant (NC-17 rated)  

When he was young, this was easy.

See, with enough booze and enough men in a room you're bound to find a handful who "wouldn't normally!" but rock'n'roll or coke or whatever fuels them and has them do it. Nobody talked about it because there was nothing to talk about. The fact that most of the sex between straight dudes was limited to handjobs, or the occasional blowjob, didn't really register when they were balls deep in the one and only Noel Gallagher. It was just a bit of fun. You could joke about it - even his own brother joked about them fucking.

Now, when he quit cocaine it got a bit trickier. When he got married, and older, and when Liam started being difficult - well, he even had to stop allowing Liam to fuck him, lest he got ideas.

It just feels good. It says nothing about who he is as a person or what he needs, or anything like that. He's not... like that. Men are just part of the many things in life he's still allowed to enjoy. After all, he only promised Sara never to cheat on her with other women, and, while she did ask him to stay away from his brother, Noel likes to think the request was not made because Sara knew those issues were related.

The hookups were always so messy and fun. Sometimes they hurt him, most times they didn't. They'd often grab him and push him and suffocate him as they fucked into him, and he loved it. He knew who he was and that whoever was fucking him felt lucky. He was the one in power, and they never forgot that.

Liam did, though. He was never a well-coordinated man, at the best of times, and when he was horny he could accidentally poke his own eye out while thrusting. But he never, not once, hurt Noel. He would carefully open him up, take his time licking him out until he was relaxed and pliant and far too close to orgasm. Then he'd push into him slowly, find the right angle within a couple of thrusts, make sure he was lubed up and comfortable, and he'd fuck him so well he almost cried more than once.

He fucking hated that.

If it was up to him, he would be the one getting fucked every time, but Liam, obviously, had to make it weird and so Noel didn't even have the luxury of enjoying himself. For the last 5 years of their relationship he didn't let Liam fuck him.

He was never as careful with Liam as Liam used to be with him. He wishes he had been, now and then.

He wishes he had let Liam treat him with the love he refused himself and others. But there's nothing he can do, now.

Still, that doesn't change things, and he still needs it. Now, the pickings are beyond slim, and Noel has about two available clean-living, middle-aged, average-looking, boring-as-fuck, viagra-popping, closeted Tories to pick from if he wants to get properly done up the arse.

The old crowds are just not Liam-safe, and he isn't about to hire some rentboy who'll later go to the press.

So he takes what he can and, at least, they're clumsy and selfish enough to hurt him. Because he might be a legendary genius artist, but he was not born where they were so they still don't really see him as one of them. And he kinda likes that. Their big careless hands groping him and bruising him where he's too thin. No consideration for the sore healed bones throughout his body. No proper preparation. Occasionally, feeling like they're scrubbing him raw.

He takes what he can when he can, and pretends nothing happened at the next brunch. Sara's hand in his hand, their wives' in theirs.

He downs a mimosa and says he'll go golfing with this or that dickhead. Sara says she's glad he's making friends. That burns his insides more than the rough fingers of a banker ever could.

He tells himself it's just that he's bored, that he's horny. He tells himself it feels good.

Still, he hopes, maybe if he does this enough, just maybe, they can scoop the last of Liam's tenderness out of him.