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#I was fucking dying of laughter I loved it
pupuseriazag · 11 months
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Me: ok so you see the water has a faint light blue color that glows, but not enough to help guide you in the dark, you can feel the water inviting you to drink it
Player: ... Im not gonna drink that.
Me, who gave him a healing fountain: 💀 ok, sure.
-later-
Me: checking the stands you find a bottle with the same misterious liquid.
Player: im keeping that one
-some other minutes later, against a mimic-
Player, who is only at 2 HP: I take some steps back and I throw the bottle at the mimic.
Me who knows whats going to happen: sure :) roll the dice.
Player: -gets a 5-
Me: ok, you attempt to throw the bottle, however it slips through your hands and it falls close to you, breaking in pieces and the liquid splashes on your body. And you start feeling like the strange liquid heals you a little by 5 points
Player, realizing he almost healed the mimic:
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its-your-mind · 2 years
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John: hey arthur there’s a poster over there for a film. It looks pretty good. We should go see it!
Arthur: no
John: I fucking knew you always hated me you selfish piece of shit. I hope you starve to death. I hope everything goes horribly fucking wrong for you. How fucking dare you treat me like a prisoner. I hope you never have anything good happen to you ever again. Whore.
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ancicntforged · 4 days
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Dan Heng bout to find out what a real dragon is
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thekingofchungus · 2 years
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heirofnepeta · 2 years
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Ajhdbdbsihsdv
I just had to tell my mom what a blorbo was.
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siixkiing · 6 months
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Can I just say...the sheer hilarity of some people calling the new X-Men Cartoon 'woke' like fam what did you THINK X-Men has always been?
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besotted-with-austen · 5 months
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Jane Austen: so, you go to Mr Collins' house and Elizabeth is there alone. She welcomes you politely, but she looks---troubled.
Colonel Fitzwilliam: and of course she does, after everything I said to her-
Fitzwilliam Darcy: do I sense if she is mad at me specifically or it is just her headache?
Jane Austen: roll an Investigation Check.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: *grimacing* it's a three.
Jane Austen: just her headache.
Caroline Bingley: *derisively* she only looks like she wants to stab you, Darcy.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: *shrugs* I guess I am too nervous to really give her a proper look.
Jane Austen: what do you do next?
Fitzwilliam Darcy: well, I-I tell her, "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
Jane Austen: Elizabeth blushes. She is absolutely stunned.
Georgiana Darcy: that is good, right? Right?
Fitzwilliam Darcy: I tell her that even if her family is--not ideal-
Charles Bingley: *making a face*
Caroline Bingley: *playfully disgusted frown* and I made my character romance you?
Fitzwilliam Darcy: -and I might be acting impulsively, I just have to let her know that I love her. That's it.
**Silence**
Jane Austen: *smacks her lips* okay-
Charles Bingley: *histerical laughter* I don't like the way you said it-
Colonel Fitzwilliam: it's an immediate natural one, yes? Please tell me it's immediate.
Georgiana Darcy: shhhh!
Jane Austen: give me a Persuasion Check-let me tell you, you have to roll very high.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: figures-very well-
Fitzwilliam Darcy: *beat*
Fitzwilliam Darcy: *flatly* natural one.
Colonel Fitzwilliam: JUSTICE!
Jane Austen: *claps her hands* you make your grand love confession, but Elizabeth stops you and immediately rejects you.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: ouch.
Jane Austen: she tells you that she could never marry the person that hurt her sister and destroyed Wickham's future-
Fitzwilliam Darcy: *dawning horror* I had forgotten they had talked, fuck-
Jane Austen: and, finally-
Charles Bingley: there is more? He is already dead-
Jane Austen: Elizabeth looks at you dead in the eye and says: "From the very beginning—from the first moment, I may almost say—of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."
Fitzwilliam Darcy: damn.
Caroline Bingley: *dying of laughter under the table*
Charles Bingley: I do not know if I can resurrect you after that.
Georgiana Darcy: I knew it, I should have given you Bardic Inspiration-
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trashycosmos · 1 year
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Nettle just did the classic cat thing of getting caught in the handle of a (paper) bag, scaring the fuck out of herself, and then hauling ass through the house
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monamipencil · 1 month
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— choking hazard | h.js
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⋆ pairings; joshua x fem! reader ⋆ genre; smut, fluff, humor, friends to lovers (?) ⋆ w.c; 3.7k+ ⋆ warnings; intoxication (liquor), mention of walking in on chan, josh is lovingly annoying, big dick! josh, tipsy sex, oral (m. receiving), face-fucking, unprotected sex (she's on pills), reader can be picked up, rough sex, creampie ⋆ a/n; im thankful for @nonuify, @chwepen, @okiedokrie and @whipped-for-kpop-fics for collectively losing it with me while talking about big dick! josh. without them, this wouldn't have been posted lol. xoxo, enjoy <3
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“i don't believe a single shit that you just spewed.”
you scoff at your close friend seated on the camping chair adjacent to yours.
“hey, i'm just saying the truth.” Joshua defends himself with a shrug. his smile looks almost angelic under the glistening cascades of moonlight and the dying campfire.
almost is the key word. because there's a glint of something else lurking underneath his dilated pupils. he takes a sip from the canned beer, and a few drops trickle down his chin. he wipes it off with his sleeve.
“your dick is a choking hazard? and a girl you slept with, told her friends that?”
“yep, that's right.” he hides his smirk behind the beer can. it seems that the liquor in your system is doing tricks on you as you watch his eyes dip down to the exposed skin of your collarbones.
you can’t help but laugh at his affirmation. your cheeks puff up, and your eyes crinkle as you do so. Joshua loves your laughter, and it makes him laugh as well. but he can only tongue his cheek now, watching you keel over with laughter. 
“i’m sorry, Josh. that’s the most out-of-pocket shit someone could say.” you take a breather and try to calm down. “how did we land on the topic of cock, again?” 
it’s almost midnight. most of your friends have fallen asleep or are in their tents, scrolling through their phones. which leaves you and Joshua outside, watching the fire trickle down to embers and drinking the last cans of beer till you both pass out. 
but somehow, the conversation has changed lanes to your friend’s diabolical cock size. 
“because you told me that you walked in on Chan jerking off and didn’t expect him to be ‘oh so huge!’” he mimics your voice, and you slap his shoulder while he laughs. 
“well, i still don’t believe you. so,” you blow a raspberry at him and turn away to look at the sky. you are barely tipsy but feel light-headed because of the long hike and how spent your body is. the last thing you want on your mind is Joshua’s cock. 
but it’s safe to say that you’re intrigued. 
“you don’t have to,” his voice echoes with a strum of his guitar. he must’ve picked it up again. but you don’t look at him. especially not with the way you’re all hot and bothered right now. 
“you just have to see it.” you choke on your saliva and make the mistake of turning your head. he has shifted closer to you, his hair tickles your cheeks, and you see his eyes trained on your lips. 
“calm down, player.” you huff and back off. but it’s you who needs to calm down. joshua appears very calm and collected with his sweet smile and shit. but you’re not buying any of that. 
“player?” his voice raises a pitch before he chuckles with a husky timbre. and his low voice sends shivers down your spine straight to your core. you tighten your thighs and wish that he doesn't notice it. 
“hey, it's not my fault people mistake my kindness for something more.”
“kindness? oh forgive me for not knowing that making out with every girl is an act of kindness.” 
“you sound like you’re jealous.” 
he whispers into your ear. and you notice his closeness only now. his knee presses into yours as he manspreads, and he leans into your frame. the smell of beer and his signature scent hits your nose, forcing you to take a deep breath of fresh air. 
in your moment of silence, Joshua confirms his answer. “so you are jealous.” 
you don’t answer and shift in your chair, trying not to cast your gaze on his thighs. or, more specifically, his cock. which you’re pretty sure would be visible against the tightness of his pants. 
“uhh, i’m going to hit the bed. you should too.” that’s all you offer while walking away as fast as possible.
the path to your cabin is short, and you sigh, feeling stupid. obviously, he’s just playing. you’d have a hard time listing the girls he has not kissed because of the lack of them. maybe dares don’t count, but it’s still a blasphemous amount. 
entering the cabin, you immediately take off your counselor shirt and toss it on your bed. you go through your bag, trying to find a sweatshirt you could wear.  
“woah, no bra?” 
you yelp in surprise and cover yourself with your hands. you don’t need to turn around to figure out who that is. 
“joshua, can you not fucking knock?!” 
“calm down, this is my cabin too.” 
your heart palpitates when he closes the door and walks towards his bed, which is adjacent to yours. you scramble to wear any piece of cloth you can find and lie down on your bed as soon as possible. 
you don’t hear a single sound from his side, so you turn in the bed to look at him. which adds to your fluster as you find him already looking at you. he doesn’t utter a word, continuing to look at you. you hold eye contact, mesmerized by the deep brown of his eyes. 
“what?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper. 
“just curious,” he shakes his head, eyes still gazing deep into yours. 
“about?” 
“how you’d look, trying to take my cock in.”
your mouth runs dry and you lick your lips, still not breaking eye contact. a fuzzy warm feeling pools in your stomach and your hard nipples graze against the material of your shirt. you sit up, done with this game of push and pull. 
he follows suit, watching you walk towards him. you offer him no words and kneel on the floor while looking up at him. joshua sucks in a sharp breath, trying to contain himself. his finger grazes against your cheekbones, softly pushing back stray hairs. 
he groans when you press your palm against his boner. he leans back, observing you with a lazy smile. you try not to vocalize your surprise when you confirm that Joshua is not lying. the sheer outline of his cock intimidates you. your nails dig into his thighs, and he snickers at you. 
“scared, honey?” his voice is saccharine, and he looks at you with such adoration. but you know, behind that sweet mask lies something better left undisturbed. 
and you’re treading on the very line that will disturb it. but it doesn’t scare you. it excites you. somehow, the thought of Joshua breaking his demeanor fills your veins with adrenaline. 
more excited than scared. the response lies on the tip of your tongue, and you want to say it. the little liquor in your system gives you a confidence boost. you hook your finger under the waistband of his briefs and pull it down with one smooth pull. 
his cock springs free, and you’re rendered speechless for a second. Joshua’s cock is long and girthy. his pretty pink tip oozes with pearls of precum, and he’s well-groomed. you never thought you’d describe a dick as pretty, but here you are.
you finally find the courage to wrap your hand around his length. you bite your lip, squeezing his cock that lays heavy on your hand. he shudders and sighs at your touch. you lean forward and lick the precum off his tip. 
“fuck,” he curses, carding his hand through his hair. he sounds so hot, and it makes you envy all the girls he’s slept with before. 
you’re still hesitant to wrap your lips around his cock, and he senses it. “want some help?” he offers, and you impatiently nod. 
he chuckles, standing on his feet. you wait patiently on your knees, watching him discard his shirt. 
“you think too much, you know?”
before you can ask him what he means, he slaps his cock on your cheek. any and every thought evaporates from your brain, and you can only focus on how good it feels.
you don't say anything but stare up at him with glassy eyes and an open mouth. he laughs, and a devilish tint lurks behind his irises.
“like getting slapped by my cock?” his other hand holds your nape, and you nod eagerly. you lift your hands to rest them on his thighs and close your eyes.
he tugs your hair, forcing you to look at him. “look at me.”
he slaps his cock on your face again. and again, and again. and again till you're absolutely cock drunk, begging to have him down your throat. he slaps his cock one last time on your face. you whine, digging your nails into his thighs.
he chuckles again, cooing at you. “open your mouth.”
you obey, letting your mouth hang open for him. he teases the tip of his oozing cock by rubbing it on your lower lip. you push out your tongue, causing him to chuckle. he taps his cock on your tongue before pushing the tip in.
you hum in content and suck on his tip, swirling your tongue around it. you tease his slit, tracing it with your tongue. joshua bites his lip, and his eyebrows knit in pleasure.
“fuck,” he groans, a sound that fills your heart with pride.
“gonna go a bit deeper, yeah?” you hum around his cock, and he curses.
he pushes your head down his cock, gently. you open your mouth to accommodate him, but the ache in your jaw stops you. you make a noise, stopping him. he does, waiting for you to adjust to his girth.
his fingers caress the side of your face and your nape, causing you to shiver when he brushes a sensitive spot on your neck. his other hand gently holds back your hair. you look at him, nodding your head.
you feel the ache in your jaw lessen when he pulls out, leaving only the tip in. it's soon taken away as he fills your mouth again. he continues so at a mild pace.
you swirl your tongue around his cock, and suck in your cheeks as much as you can. he goes a bit deeper, and you gag, tears pricking your eyes. he moans shamelessly, his movements a bit lazier now.
he pulls out again, and you gasp for breath. a string of saliva connects your lips to his tip. he slaps his cock on your lip, enjoying the wet feeling and sound. it sends a shiver of pleasure to your core as well, which is now soaking.
your panties stick to your core like a second skin. you're afraid that your arousal would drip down your leg. your cunt clenches around nothing and your hard nipples graze against your shirt. the thought of him fucking you fills you with ecstasy.
with your newfound enthusiasm, you move forward, taking his tip between your lips. you maintain eye contact as you do so. you bob your head up and down, gagging at times as you do so. your nails graze the back of his thighs in a pleasurable manner.
“oh god,” he stops your movements, taking a deep breath to compose himself. his abs strain and a few veins pop up at his neck.
“just—just tap my thighs thrice if it's too much, ok?” you blink and nod at him. you relax your jaw and wait for him.
even though you prepare yourself, it still takes you by surprise. he pushes his cock inside in one go and holds your head. you gag and choke, feeling tears stream down your face and drool down your chin.
his hand grips the back of your head, and you feel him twitch in your mouth. your nose brushes against his pelvis and your lips touch the base of his cock.
he feels heavy in your mouth, and you choke on him again, more tears falling from your eyes. he pulls out with ease, and you cough and breathe as much as you can.
you look like an absolute mess right now, a heavenly mess, Joshua thinks. with tears and drool coating your face, your lips swollen, and god, the fucking way you're looking at him.
“think i'm a choking hazard, yet?”
you laugh, but it's cut off when your throat hurts. he giggles and apologizes sheepishly.
“so? should i cum inside your mouth, or?” he teases.
“fuck me, please.”
he curses under his breath, pulling you up to crash his lips against yours. you fall on his bed with him hovering over you. his lips are gentle at first, but the kiss turns deep. his tongue glides over yours, and he kisses you deeply. the ache between your legs grows as you feel his tongue slide over the places his cock was touching a few seconds ago.
his hand wraps around your neck gently, and he squeezes the side occasionally. he pulls away, gasping for air. his chest is pressed to yours, and you feel his heart hammering the way yours does.
his cock grazes against the skin of your thighs, heightening your arousal. “joshua, please fuck me, already.” you whine, nails scratching his back.
“so impatient,” he smiles, kissing your forehead.
he helps remove your shirt and groans at the sight of your hardened nipples. his hands fly to your chest to fondle and squeeze your breasts. he rolls the bud between his fingers and flicks them gently.
he glides his hand down your waist till he finds the hem of your shorts and pulls it down. you relax on his bed with a sigh. it feels so erotic to spread your legs in front of someone you deem a good friend. not to mention that you were choking on said friend's cock a few minutes ago.
you don't miss the smirk that plays on his lips as he observes your stained panties. and it makes you shy, causing you to close your legs, but he stops you. his hands resting on your inner thigh to spread your legs out.
he slowly removes the only clothing left on your body. the arousal sticks to your panty as he peels it off you. he tosses the cloth away and massages your inner thighs, slowly working up his way to your folds.
his fingers prod between your folds, rubbing them up and down and feeling the wetness of your soaking cunt. his thumb brushes your clit, and you fold your legs, bringing them closer to your chest.
he circles your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body. he leans down to kiss your cunt, and lick the arousal dripping down it.
“not now,” you push his head away, way too eager to take his cock. he kisses your folds before finally pulling away. he looks up at you, smiling softly, but you don’t miss the mischief swirling in his eyes. he kisses your lips again, hands wandering down your body. 
his cock presses on your thighs, and you whimper, almost begging for him. “we don’t have condoms, though. is that fine?”
“yes, i’m on pills.” you say in a nasal tone, your own hands discovering his body. 
“and as long as you don’t have any virus, i’m fine.” you finish, looking at him dead in the eye. he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “i kiss, ok? i don’t get dirty as often.” 
“if you say so,” you sing, pulling him closer and pressing your chest to his. 
“fuck.” he whispers, slotting his lips on yours.  
he breaks the kiss and rubs your thighs. he adores you with his eyes before moving away to align himself to your entrance. he rubs his tip on your folds, and you gasp. “this is gonna hurt a bit,”
and god does it fucking hurt. you have seen guys with his length before, but the girth takes your breath away. you moan with a moan to your eyes and curl to your toes. joshua rubs your nub to distract you from the pain. his other hand strokes your thigh and stomach gently. 
when you seem accommodated enough, he pushes in further. and he does so till he’s deep inside you. it takes everything in him not to push it in one go. the wet warmth of your walls makes him lose his mind, and your clenching doesn’t help either. 
he takes a firm hold of your hips and presses his hand flat on your tummy. he feels his cock through you, and it makes him moan with a bite to his lips. he rests his hand on either side of your head. “wrap your legs around me,” you quickly obey. 
who knew you’d become such a mindless slut for Joshua’s cock? and who could even blame you? his cock stretches your walls with a delicious pain. and you can’t help but clench around him, sucking him in further and further. your hole flutters around his cock, and you’re more than pleased to see the effect you have on him. 
you play with your nipples as he prepares to pull away. he looks at your hands before slapping them away, “tch, bad girl.” 
he pulls out, except for his tip, and you immediately feel empty. he guides his cock inside you again, and you moan when he stretches you out again. he sighs before pulling out again. this time, he snaps his hips to yours in a quick motion. 
he pauses to observe your reaction. “fuck!” you yell, your abdomen fluttering with the deep breaths you take. he takes it as a sign to continue. he snaps his hips again with a vigor he hasn’t shown previously. his moans sync with yours as he continues to thrust in and out of your cunt.
your hands fly to wrap around his strong shoulders as the bed beneath you trembles with his thrusts. his cock drives into your cunt, filling you to the brim. but he’s careful to not hurt you, ending up using only half of his length. 
he undoes your legs around him and shifts to stand on the floor. he pulls you with him, and you yelp. “shh, don’t want them to find out what we’re doing, do you?” he places his forefinger on your lips and caresses your cheek. 
“don’t care,” you whisper, and it takes him by surprise. the change in your behavior fuels him to only fuck you harder. he grips your hips, using them to maneuver your movements. he eases in, filling you entirely, and pulls out, only to slam his cock back in. 
“fuck, see that?” he asks, interrupting your moans and whines. you lift your head, looking at his cock stretch you out. but that’s not what he’s talking about. he slams back in, and you see a bulge in your stomach. you gasp, your walls fluttering at the sight of the bulge. 
joshua fucks you harder, focusing his eyes on the bulge, and your clenching drives him over the edge. he looks up to find you focusing on the bulge as well. one of his hands finds your face, squeezing your cheeks together. 
he leans in, kissing your puckered lips harshly. his thrust only turns rougher with each passing second. the sound of skin slapping, your whimpers mixed in with his moans, and the distinct creak of the bed serve as a drug for Joshua. he picks you up, and you wrap your arms and legs around him in instinct.
you cling to him as he fucks you in the air. you don’t even have time to be impressed by his strength because his cock occupies every space in your mind. his cock screws into your cunt, harder and harder each time. you whine, nails digging into his shoulders. 
his thrusts turn erratic, hips stuttering desperately to meet yours. he gasps, and his cock twitches with the need to release. fuck, he needs to come inside you. the mere idea of it drives him to fuck you with more strength. 
your moans get louder, surely to catch the attention of bypassers outside the cabin. his gasps and moans make you look at him. his head is thrown back, and he fucks you mindlessly. his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, and you’re overcome with the need to mark it. a sheen of sweat coats his body, and the light shimmers off it, making him look heavenly. 
he pulls you closer, pressing his chest to yours. he shifts one of his hands to hold your weight, grabbing your ass, and the other wraps around your upper back. you grind your hips, chasing some friction. he groans, tongue darting out to meet yours. 
you eagerly welcome his tongue, tilting your head to kiss him deeply. your moans are swallowed by him, and both his hands now grip your ass. he kneads them in his hands, fucking you faster each time you clench around him. 
“fuck! fuck!” he curses, hips stuttering to meet yours. your toes curl, and you scratch his back, biting his shoulder to quiet down your screams. you clench around him one last time and climax on his cock. 
with a final thrust, he succumbs to his pleasure, releasing his load inside of you. you moan in unison, and he rushes to place you on the bed. he falls on top of you, cock still planted deep inside your cunt. he twitches, releasing the last of his load inside of you. 
he doesn’t pull out, opting to stay inside you as he rests his forehead on yours. your legs tremble, and you take frequent breaths to calm down from the high.
“believe me, now?” your eyes are closed, but you can feel his smirk. you kiss him to shut him up, not wanting to hear his bragging.
with a kiss on your forehead, he pulls out. you hiss, your cunt feels empty, and you almost whine for him to put it back in. he falls to your side on the bed. you both lay breathless and stare up at the ceiling.
your legs and your core feel sore. a sigh leaves your lips, knowing you can't walk tomorrow without looking like a duckling.
“i'm calling in sick, tomorrow.” you inform your—what is he to you now, anyway?
his hand caresses your legs and sides as he cuddles up next to you. you snuggle into his warmth, slumber filling your veins.
“that bad?” you're too tired to retort his teasing.
“yeah. turns out your cock isn't just a choking hazard, it's also a health hazard.”
his laughter echoes through the walls of your cabin, and he hugs you tighter. you fall asleep with a smile on your face.
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tags; @seungkwanschicken @aaa-sia @dokyeomkyeom @bangantokchy
@asyre @armycarat2612 @bewoyewo @gyuguys @embrace-themagic
@aaniag @nurihihi (send an ask to be on the taglist!)
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sturns-4-life · 1 month
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Cut it: M.S
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Summary: Matt's on live while you're laying on his bed, bored. You decide you want to tease him. And boy is that fun.
Warnings: unprotected sex, bratty!reader, rough dom!Matt, use of y/n, pet names(I think), rough sex, degrading, slight praise, doggy style, missionary, spanking, slapping. Lmk if I missed anything!
Requested? || Yes by @solarsturniolo
Word count: 1,042
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I don't know how this happened but it did. And I'm currently getting eaten out by Matt as if he were a starving man.
𝙁𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠…
"Fuck!" I hear Matt yell from dying in his game. I roll my eyes and continue scrolling away on TikTok.
Matt has been playing games with Nate and Chris (Nick's with Madi at the mall) for who knows how long.
"Matt, you know you have a girl in your bed? Most people would love that fact and at least give her five minutes of attention.”
All he says back is. 'in a sec, one more game' for the tenth time. "You said that an hour ago!" I say in a whiny tone.
"It hasn't been an hour, you're being dramatic." I roll my eyes as he says that. His eyes never leave the screen for a second.
Suddenly I get an idea. I walk up to him from behind and hug him; his camera on Discord isn't on, so no one can see what's going on.
I purposely drop my phone under the desk. "Oops, sorry." I say to him as I go under the desk to 'grab my phone'.
As I'm 'picking up my phone', I start to slowly slide my hand up his thigh. "Y/n, stop." I look up at him with the most innocent look ever. "Stop what?”
He looks down at me, I can tell he's pissed. Then looks back at the game. I move my hand to his crotch and start rubbing it. "Y/n." I ignore him.
I slip my hand into his sweatpants and start to slowly pull them down. "Y/n, don't start." I once again ignored him. As I start palming him through his boxers.
"Y/n, 𝙘𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩." Still ignoring him, I start to slowly pull his boxers down, as I hear him let out a soft moan.
"We moanin' now?" I hear Nate say with a laugh, as Chris laughs with him. "Shut the fuck up." I wrap my hand around his length.
"Y/n, I'm serious. you don't want me to have to teach you a lesson, do you?" I roll my eyes. "You won't do shit." That was it.
He pulls me up onto his lap and mutes his mic. "You wanna be a little whore and pull that shit when I'm talking to my friends, you gonna get fucked like one.”
He sits me on his desk and starts to pull my shorts down. "Mat-" "-Shut up, slut.”
𝙀𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠…
"Matt! Fuck." I move my hand to the back of his head pushing him deeper. “Hands by your sides or I swear I'll tie them up.”
“But I don't wanna!” I say in a whiny tone, again. I watch as he gets up and grabs handcuffs and a rope.
Why does he have that? I don't know. But I do know I'm in deep shit. “Matt, no. I'll stop.”
“Too late.” He grabs my wrists and cuffs them together. ”Matt!” “Stop fucking whining.” Where did it come from? I don't know, but he then puts a blindfold on me.
He picks me up and throws me onto his bed. Everything's quiet for a second, besides the sound of the front door opening and closing.
The sound of Madi and Nick's laughter fills the house. Matt then puts his hand over my mouth. “Don't make a fucking sound.”
Without warning I feel him pound into me, causing me to scream into his hand. “Fucking slut, told you to stay quiet, didn't I?”
Unable to form words at the time, I nod. “And did you stay quiet?” I shake my head ‘no’. The second I do I feel a hard slap to my cheek.
“Use your fucking words” “No! I didn't!” I feel him start to pick up his pace, his hand going down to rub my clit as I let out another moan.
“Fuck! I'm gonna cum.” No response. His pace quickened even more until he finally said. “Hold it.” I wanted to, I really did. But knowing how much it'll piss him off.
I still did it, letting out a loud moan as his movements came to a stop. Another slap landed on my cheek. “Did I say you can cum?”
I shake my head ‘no’, again. *𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗣* “Use your fucking words.” “No! No, you didn't.” *𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗣* “So why did you?” “I don't know–” *𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗣*
“Not an answer.” “I couldn't hold it!” *𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗣* “Fucking whore, turn around, baby.” Not wanting to piss him off more, I turn around. Face down, ass up.
*𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗣* I felt another hard smack again, but this time it wasn't on my face. But on my ass instead, feeling him pound back into me at the same time.
“Matt! Slow down!” With that, he quickened his pace. Causing me to let out a louder moan. “You want me to?” Another slap to my ass. “Yes! Fuck!” “You should have thought about that before you decided to be a whore and touch up on my dick while I'm talking to my friends.”
Another slap. I felt him grab onto my hands from behind as he quickened his pace even more. “Matt! I'm gonna cum!” “Hold it. I'm serious.” I let out a loud whine as he starts to rub my clit again. “I can't! Please.”
“Go ahead. Cum for me, baby.“ I let out a loud moan as I cum on his cock, feeling his pace quicken as he reaches his climax. Hot spurts of his load fills me up as he slowly pulls out.
“You did so good for me, baby” Unable to form words at that point I simply nod. My phone buzzed once, then twice. As I check my phone, I see two text messages.
One from Madi, one from Nick.
Fuck.
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At least Matt's mic was muted. Well, that's what we thought.
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Author's note! I lowkey hate this but it's for my baes 🤭 Chris and Matt anon
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Tags: @immattsslut @tashasmywife @cindylcuwho @nicksgirlfriend
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Dividers: @plutism
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1K notes · View notes
criminalamnesia · 2 months
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Stay
warnings: enemies to friends, hinted enemies to lovers, Tyler’s sister!reader, mean!scott, bickering, very real tornado danger, mentions of a car crash and physical injuries, not proofread, f!reader
summary: the three time you see storm par’s one and only scott, including the one in which he saves your life.
author’s note: look at me, finally writing something again! I’ve been extremely busy and, truthfully, in a writers slump. I started writing this after seeing twisters, and I just got the motivation to come back and finish it. I’ve been obsessed with this man since that movie, and good lord do we need more fics of him. anyways, enjoy! (also, for my traitor fans— I haven’t forgotten about you! I hope to work on the next part soon!)
the first time you’d seen scott, you’d wanted to break his jaw, and you hadn't even gotten his name.
“get lost on the way to the hillbilly convention?”
his tone is snarky, his eyes full of disdain as he watched you slide out of tyler’s truck.
your eyes had widened, your spine straightening as you registered his unprovoked hostility.
“the fuck is your problem?” you ask, eyes narrowing as you come back to your senses. you look him up and down, huffing a laugh at his clothes.
“you look like you’re going to a fuckin’ business meeting.” you say, coming to a stop in front of him. your cowboy boots dig into the dirt, and the sun beats down on your face.
perfect day for storm chasing, as your brother had said. darkening clouds rolled in the distance, and the wind was steadily picking up. according to lilly's drone data and tyler's instincts, your first chase would occur sometime within the next few hours.
you had been away at college when tyler’s tornado-chasing YouTube channel took off. you’d always loved the thrill of being close to the storms, but even when you came home to visit during summers, tyler refused to let you tag along.
until now, that is. now that you’ve graduated with a degree in meteorology, just like him. he had always accused you of wanting to follow in his footsteps.
“don’t mind storm par over there,” comes your brother’s drawl as he appears beside you, a hand coming down to rest on your shoulder. “the stick up his ass seems to have been lodged a little deeper recently. you’ll get used to it,” tyler grins, barking a laugh at the brunette's scowl.
"haven't seen you before," another man moves to stand beside the brunette. he's also wearing storm par gear, and you watch as him and the taller man share an unreadable glance.
"she's new," tyler responds for you, his wide grin still present as he acknowledges the shorter man with the tip of his hat.
"i'd run while you can, sweetheart," the taller one says, a look of pity in his eyes as he looks back to you. "fucking him isn't worth dying over."
you stare at the man for a moment before bursting into laughter. the storm par pair's eyes both widen, their stares moving from your hysterics, to tyler's rolled eyes, and then to each other.
"you two are supposed to be scientists, huh? the guys who are gonna 'tame tornadoes?'" you throw the last two words in air quotes as your laughter subsides.
the shorter of the two men nods, while the taller opens his mouth once more. "that's right. while you morons are out trying to get yourselves killed, we'll be busy doing shit that actually matters."
"right, right," you nod along, glee shining in your eyes as you stare at the taller one. "you must be so smart, then. where'd you get your degree?"
"MIT," he says smugly, popping the gum in his mouth.
"MIT, wow," you whistle, your eyes finding your brother's. tyler just shakes his head, trying and failing to suppress his laughter.
"you got a degree from MIT, and you're too stupid to tell that he-" you jab a finger towards tyler. "is my fucking brother?"
the man's smug grin instantly falls as his eyes scan you, then tyler, and then fall back onto you. tyler steps forward, smacking a hand on the man's shoulder with a laugh.
"meet my little sister, storm par. may not have gotten a degree from MIT," he says, tipping his cowboy hat to you. you mime tipping an invisible hat back at him. "but she seems to be a hell of a lot smarter than you."
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the second time you see scott, you still don't learn his name.
"jesus christ, this thing is huge!" you yelp as tyler swerves the truck back onto the dirt road. he scowls as the storm par truck ahead of him jerks back and forth on the path, blocking his approach.
"how's the wind lookin'?" he asks, his words clipped as his hands grip the wheel tighter. wheat fields ripple on both sides of the road, an ocean of tan as the sky continues to darken.
"pickin' back up," you tell him, glancing down at the laptop in your lap. it was displaying real-time data of the atmospheric conditions. the software had cost a pretty penny, but had been worth it. plus, it had been more than covered by tyler's t-shirt sales. cheesy or not, tyler’s face on a shirt was worth his weight in gold to his followers.
tyler groans as the white truck in front of him cuts him off again.
"ty, just go around!" you yell at him, your eyes widening as you stare out of the passenger side window. the clouds overhead were beginning to swirl.
"i'm tryin' to drive nice," he tells you through gritted teeth. "don't wanna make you sick-" he begins, but you roll your eyes and reach over, jerking the wheel. the car swerves off the road and into the ditch beside it, and tyler scrambles to avoid hitting a wire fence as he swats at your hand.
"what the fuck?!" he yells at you, his eyes cutting to you for a second before focusing back on the road.
"stop tryin' to baby me!" you tell him. "show these storm par pricks what we're made of."
tyler falls silent, clearly debating his next move. you're about to grab the wheel again when his foot slams down on the gas and the truck lurches forward. you cheer, throwing a fist in the air as you laugh with glee.
"just don't tell mom!" he says to you, laughing along.
as the truck speeds forwards, tyler lets off the gas just enough to keep speed with the storm par truck. you lean past him to get a look into the cab, and there's the brunette you'd had the displeasure of meeting a few days ago.
you can see his scowl from here, and your grin is wide as you hold your middle finger up, waving it around to make sure he couldn't miss it. his scowl deepens, and before he can even think of responding to the gesture, tyler hits the gas again.
"what was that for?" your brother asks as you lean back into you seat.
you shrug. "just havin' fun."
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the third time you see scott, he saves your life.
it's a week after the middle-finger incident. although storm par and your brother's wranglers have been following the same storms, you haven't had the pleasure of bothering the tall brunette, much less seeing him. you’d caught glimpses, but he seemed to be keeping his distance. you supposed he’d finally grown tired of your constant teasing.
you don't know why you find yourself caring. he's an asshole. an asshole who hates you, your brother, and everything the two of you stand for. who constantly underestimates and looks down on you.
and yet you miss his scowl and the unmistakable pop of his bubblegum.
"hey, you okay over there?" boone asks as he leans over the center console, his head peeking out between the two front seats. you know the question is directed at you, as boone is watching you like a hawk.
"yeah, fine," you shrug, your eyebrows furrowed as you lean down, getting closer to the screen of your laptop.
"ty, turn the music down for a sec," you tell him, and he listens without protest. a rare occurrence, but now wasn't the time for bickering.
what had first appeared to be a measly EF1 had begun to grow. it wasn't dying out, and things were starting to get scarily real as moisture kept feeding into the funnel miles ahead of you.
"this thing isn't stopping," you tell the two men. "you need to tell the rv to turn around. hell, we should turn around."
boone shakes his head, leaning further into your space. his eyes scan your computer screen, and although he's learned a lot from tyler, he still doesn't see what you see.
"nah, it's gonna be fine. ty said it's gonna die out anyways, right? we just need to get in it before it does."
"boone," you warn, turning in your seat to face him. "love you, but shut the fuck up right now." you reach out a hand and grip tyler's arm.
"ty, I mean it."
rain starts pelting the windshield. you can hear the wind howling outside of the truck, and you shudder as hail begins to pound against metal.
tyler mumbles something under his breath as he kicks the windshield wipers up to maximum speed. "you sure?" he finally says.
he turns to look at you as you nod, and those precious seconds are all it takes for the world to spin on its axis.
a fence post slams through the windshield as rain and hail continue to obscure the world around you. you scream and tyler jerks the wheel out of instinct. the truck turns sharply, running off the road. your stomach drops as the truck drops and rises again- your own personal rollercoaster from hell.
"tyler!" you yell, gripping the straps of the harness holding you in.
"workin' on it!" he responds, jerking the wheel the other way. the truck rights itself back on the road, and you close your eyes as adrenaline rushes through your veins.
fuck, the others-
"boone, tell the others to turn around now!" you yell at him, and he's nodding frantically from his seat in the back, his hands fumbling for the walkie talkie in the floor.
"so much for an EF1!" tyler says, and although his tone sounds easy, his face betrays him. you can see the glimpse of fear in his eyes. it mirrors your own.
"yeah, ri-" you begin, but the sentence never fully forms.
you black out as another car slams into the passenger side of the truck.
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"c'mon, get up!"
everything feels fuzzy. your head is pounding, and your ears are ringing. pain shoots through your body, engulfing every inch of skin. you think something has to be broken, judging from the numbness you feel on the right side of your body.
"get up!"
your eyes begin to crack open, but your vision is blurry. someone is a few feet in front of you, but you can't make out who it is.
"for fuck's sake-" the voice growls, and you can just hear the faint crunching of glass before your hearing comes back in full force.
the wind is an unbearable howl, and the rain and hail pounding down around you make hearing your own thoughts almost impossible-
your thoughts. what had happened? one second, you're driving and then-
fuck. tyler. boone. where were they?
your eyes shoot open, your body jerking against the harness still keeping you strapped to the leather passenger seat.
you look to your left- to the driver's side- but tyler isn't there. you try to turn you head to see into the back, but a sharp pain in your neck quickly stops you.
"tyler?!" you yell, but your voice is carried off by the wind. you can't even hear your own words.
"boone?!"
"they're fine!" a voice calls to you, and your gaze shoots back to the driver's side. you can see a man crouching by the driver's now blown-out window— which is upside down.
you were upside down. the truck had rolled with the impact of whatever had hit you. everything comes back with devastating clarity, and even though adrenaline pumps through your veins, the pain is beginning to become unbearable.
“can you move?” the voice says. you can’t tell who it is through the spots in your vision and the sheets of rain still coming down.
“I-” you start, pushing your chest against the harness. “I think so.”
“good,” you recognize it as a man’s voice. “then hurry the fuck up and get out!”
under different circumstances, you would’ve scoffed at the order, but now wasn’t the time for defiance. your life was literally on the line, and if you didn’t get to shelter before the tornado engulfed you—
well, you didn’t want to think about that.
you force your brain to gather itself, directing your thoughts toward moving your aching limbs. your left arm is the only one that responds, coming to fumble with the metal buckles of the harness.
the first one unclasps and you swear you could cry from relief.
“any day now!” the man calls, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. you reach your left hand across your torso, working at the clasp on your right side.
“im trying!” you call back. once you get it undone, your arms fall downward as gravity claims them. you groan in pain as your right arm shifts. something is definitely broken, but you can’t afford to give into the pain at the moment.
you reach for the lap belt, tugging at it with a shaking hand. the wind continues to howl around you, and you feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes. hopelessness begins to eat away at you as you try and try again to undo the lap belt, to no avail.
“it’s stuck!” you call out, hoping the man can hear you. “I can’t get out!”
your breathing is picking up. your chest feels tight, and the feeling you still have in your left hand ebbs as you begin to panic.
you don’t want to die. you know that. it scares you shitless.
but you don’t want anyone else to die, either.
you’re stuck. whoever is outside of the truck isn’t. he should run while he can—
“hold on!” you’re jarred from your thoughts as a figure begins to crawl through the hole left by the blown-out window, and that’s when you register your savior.
it’s him, the brunette from storm par. the man who belittled you, who rolled his eyes at every sentence you spoke, and who you somehow found yourself missing.
he’s crawling into the cab, his arms no doubt suffering cuts from the shattered glass littering his path. “I’ve got you,” he calls to you, and when your eyes meet his, there’s no look of disdain. there’s thinly veiled terror.
“you need to leave me,” you tell him, and you can’t tell if the wetness on your face is from your tears or the rain that’s now blowing sideways into the destroyed truck.
“shut the fuck up,” he tells you, groaning as he slices his forearm on a jagged piece of metal.
“im serious,” you reply, your left hand still fumbling with the belt restraining you. “I can’t feel my right side—”
“will you shut up? please?” he heaves out, his face inches from yours now as he reaches for the lap belt.
you fall silent, but not because you’re heeding his demands. no, you’re too busy examining his face. he’s never been this close to you, and you’re taking in every little detail before death comes to sweep you up.
can’t blame a girl for wanting to gawk at a handsome man in her final minutes, can you?
“stop staring at me,” he grits out, his forearm flexing as he tugs at the lap belt. something has the fabric trapped, and although he’s freeing it inch by inch, you’re not sure if—
the belt gives, and his arms leave your lap to cushion your fall, protecting your head from slamming into the metal below you.
he doesn’t say anything, but you watch as his gaze flits over your right side. stone cold as ever, his expression gives nothing away regarding your physical state. you can’t bring yourself to look down.
“im gonna pull you out, okay?” he says, and you absently nod your head. the pain is heavier now— harder to push away. your vision swims as he hooks his arms under yours and shuffles back on his knees.
agony spreads through your thoughts as the numbness gives way to excruciating pain. your eyelids flutter, but the man doesn’t stop. he grunts as he pulls you forward again, slowly but surely removing you from the truck.
“you need to leave me,” you tell him again, your teeth biting into your bottom lip to stifle a scream of pain. “im not going to be able to walk. I’ll just slow you down—”
“jesus christ, you don’t listen, do you? im not leaving you here to die.”
he finally makes his way out of the wreckage, pulling you with him. once you’re free of the ruined truck, he stands on shaky legs— fighting to maintain balance as the wind whips across his figure. he reaches down, scooping you up in his bloody arms, and starts to run as best he can. the rain is so thick you can’t even see a foot in front of you, let alone where he’s taking you.
lightning cracks overhead, followed by thunder so loud it shakes your shattered bones. your head tilts up to the sky, and you watch in horror at what was once an EF1 tornado races toward you. it’s got to be an EF4 by now— maybe even a 5 based off its sheer size.
“drop me!” you screech, your working hand clutching the soaked fabric of his storm par shirt.
if he hears you, he pays you no mind as he continues to struggle against the wind.
with your eyes focused on the impending doom behind you, you don’t even realize when he reaches his destination. he jumps down into a deep ditch, and you hear him groan as his feet hit the ground. he must be hurt, too.
“is she alright?” a voice calls, and your eyes widen as boone comes into view, a large cut across his forehead that looks like it definitely needs stitches.
“not the time!” the storm par man shouts, ducking behind your friend. your eyes catch boone’s over his shoulder, and you give your fellow storm chaser a weak wink. boone’s lips crack into a wide smile, even amidst this horrible storm.
the brunette carrying you falls to his knees, laying your back against muddied dirt. he refuses to let you go, his arms cradling you against his chest as he shelters you with his own body. there’s nothing to hold onto except for him, and you know if the tornado gets any closer, you’ll both be goners.
you close your eyes tightly, welcoming your end despite your overwhelming fear— but it never comes.
you pry your eyes open as the sounds of wind and rain finally begin to subside. the body above yours still clutches you tightly.
“are we alive?” your voice comes out a whisper. your left hand flexes against the man’s chest, and sure enough, it meets a solid body. he’s not an imagination— he’s real. you’re still here.
“yes,” his chest rumbles with the words, and his arms slowly snake out from under you as he sits back on his haunches. his eyes are locked on yours, his icy blues unreadable as he watches your face.
you don’t say anything for a moment. and then,
“you’re the stupidest son of a bitch I’ve ever met.”
his eyes widen in surprise, and his stern facade cracks for the first time— at least, that you’ve seen— and he chuckles.
the bubble surrounding you two quickly pops as tyler’s voice meets your ears. you turn your head and there he is— your brother, running towards you with relief written all over his face.
“oh, thank god,” he says, throwing himself to his knees and scooping you up in a hug. you hiss in pain and he pulls back, his hands on your shoulders as he looks you up and down with a grimace.
“you took the worst of it. those storm par pricks—” his eyes cut to your savior, who is still sitting nearby, watching the two of you. “hit us. you and boone were knocked out, and you were stuck, so I got him first and was coming back, but—”
“ty,” you interrupt, your left hand landing atop one of his. “it’s okay. im okay. we’re okay.”
tyler takes a deep breath and nods, his eyes flitting back down your body, focusing on your right leg. you follow his gaze, grimacing at the unnatural twist of the limb. no wonder it had gone numb.
“I’ve had worse,” you tell him, taking notice of your limp, lacerated right arm.
“now’s not the time to play hero,” your brother chastises, standing up before reaching down and picking you up. your eyes meet your savior’s once more. he’s standing now, too, his arms crossed over his chest as he matches your gaze.
“guess we owe you a thanks, clipboard. and you owe us a new truck.” tyler says, to which the brunette rolls his eyes.
“ty,” you roll your eyes, too, as you keep your gaze locked with the brunette’s. “ignore my brother. thank you for saving my life….” you trail off, realizing, truly realizing for the first time that you don’t know his name.
“scott.” he tells you. you nod.
“thank you, scott.”
he nods back, turning his back to you as he starts to limp back to the road your vehicles had been abandoned at. you doubted they would still be there.
just as you’re about to look away from his retreating form, he glances over his shoulder and gives you a true, sweetly small, smile.
maybe storm par isn’t so bad after all.
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its--ali · 1 year
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Edelgard, Dimitri and Claude in the bracelet is literally just if you stuffed the three of them into a "this is our getting along shirt" shirt and I fucking love it
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sweetnans · 5 months
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The teachers always said that you looked like a couple of grown-ups. The love that they expected from Bakugo to somebody else wasn't like the one that he gave you daily. They were stunned, to say the least. He became someone softer, someone who cared, someone who could stay quiet and just exist, not in loudly way.
The battle has just begun. You did your best trying to evacuate the town that was close to the hospital, and you were tired, strained just like your other classmates, Izuku, Ochaco, and Shoto.
The heroes set up multiple campaign tents to refuge the people and the heroes as well. They didn't have any news about what happened in Jaku but you could guess.
"You okay?" He said sitting beside you. Putting his arm behind your shoulders so you can lean on him.
"I'm tired and still shocked," you answered, looking around you. People running, trying to communicate with the other teams and with their relatives too. It was a mess. "We could've die"
"But we didn't," he shrugged simply. He was like that, the rock that grounded you to the earth when you tended to be emotional. "I'll never let anything happen to you, y'know"
"I know," you whispered, trying to restrain the tears that pricked in your eyes. "It's just... I'm scared that I'll lose you"
"Hah? What do you mean?" He elevated his voice just an octave to prove his points. He wanted to be loud, but the circumstances weren't very propitious.
"I know you, you say a lot that you don't care, but you do, and I'm afraid that you trying to save everyone is going to end up in you being hurt" you whispered, like you were telling a secret to him. "I'm so used to you. Please don't do anything stupid that will end up in you leaving me"
Being in a relationship with Bakugo was more easy than you could believe, but it wasn't a walk in the park either. He didn't do emotions so well, and even if you did, you didn't show them often to not make him uncomfortable. But right now, you were dying to tell him everything and get it off of your chest.
After a long silence, you looked at him. His arm pressed tightly in your back. He was looking to nothing, passed the forest, just staring and thinking. You were everything to him, and it was unfair that both of you had to have this conversation so early in your life, damn you were only seventeen.
"I promise that nothing is going to happen to me or you, I'll always be here to protect you and keep you safe"
He looked directly to your eyes and pulled you tightly to his side. He wanted you to know that he meant it, every word. He would keep you safe and be safe just so you can't suffer.
"I love you, Katsuki," you said tearing up a little.
He rolled his eyes when he saw that little tear spilled from your right eye.
"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, brat." he cleaned the stain from the tear of your face and reached something behind himself. "Got you soup, I bet you haven't eaten"
"Thanks," you said, taking it from his hand.
The silence between the two of you was pretty comfortable. You enjoyed the company of each other more than you could ever expect, the quietness, you wouldn't even imagine it from the loudest of your classmates.
"I can't die," he said out of nothing. You glanced at him with a lifted brow. "Who's going to take care of you? Shitty hair? Fucking Deku? No way, I'm not leaving your side".
You laughed at him while shaking your head, he was something else.
"You still got concrete on your face," you pointed out while taking a spoon of soup.
"Can you believe that a group of old hags tried to take it off with their wet fingers?" He said with disgust all over his face.
"Wet with...
"Saliva" he stated looking at you with big eyes.
"Ew," you said, shrieking with laughter. "Let me do it for you"
You wet your finger, and he let you willingly. After you smudged the concrete out of his face, you sealed it with a loud kiss in his cheek.
"Y'know what I think of PDA," he quirked a brow at you.
"And you know what I think of what you think"
You answered, kissing him all over his face to prove your point. He gave up after a few kisses, kissing you back.
Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.
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sturnsdarling · 29 days
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She's the coolest person I know.
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fratboy!matt tries to play it cool about him and smartand'mean'!reader spending alot of time together, but fratboy!chris and Nate aren't convinced
vibe check: chris and nate being idiots, nate not knowing what an emo is lol, fratboy!matts version of fluff
1k words
A/N: this concept was born from and is my take on the wonderful, amazing and ridiculously talented @sturnioz fratboy!matt and fratboy!chrisxshy!reader au. THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE LOVE ON MY TOUGH GIRL FIC OMFG. this is a lil blurb I cooked up as a finishing touch to my contribution to cas' au. also I just love this pairing so much it makes me unwell PSA REGARDING PART 2
love and cigs, merc
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Matt quietly shuffled into the front door of his frat house, tucking his car keys in his pocket with as little jingle as possible in hopes of sneaking past Chris and Nate on the sofa. He clicked the door shut and the boys’ ears perked up. 
“Fuck” Matt whispered. 
“Matty boy! You’re back! Where the fuck have you been” Nate craned his neck round, a canon joint hanging from his mouth. 
“He’s been at y/ns house” Chris answered for Matt, turning to smirk at the boy as he shifted his weight between his feet by the entrance of the living room. 
“Y/n? Isn’t that the emo chick that’s best friends with your girl?” Nate asked, pointing to Chris. 
“She’s not emo dickhead, she’s just a bit… grungy” Matt piped up at your defence immediately, knowing Nate meant it as an insult.
“and s!r/n is not my girl” Chris responded to Nate’s accusation 
“She’s totally fuckin emo dude she wears fishnets and walks around lookin’ like she’s gonna kill someone” Nate snickered, “and, she’s definitely your girl” he looked back to Chris who was rolling his eyes. 
“You’re with her like everyday, kid” Matt folded his arms over his chest, taking this perfect opportunity to get the subject off of himself. 
“And you get all gushy over her like she’s some little pretty flower whenever she’s around” Nate laughed, looking to Matt who was nodding his head and joining in the laughter.
“Okay, both of you shut the fuck up, yeah? When did this become about me? Matt's the one sneaking in after spending the last three days with his little pet emo” Chris scoffed, leaning forward to ash his joint in the glass tray before taking a long drag. 
“She’s not fuckin—“ Matt gritted his teeth, “she’s not my pet you freak, we’re just hangin’ out” He shrugged. 
“That’s not what it sounded like the other night” Nate raised his brows at Matt, a childlike laugh erupting from his mouth as he blew weed smoke into the air. 
“UH! FUCK! MATT! YOU’RE SO BIG! UH” Chris moaned, making fake orgasm faces as he shifted his weight so it looked like he was getting fucked. Nate curled over in laughter, slapping his knee with his free hand. 
Arms folded over his chest and eyes firmly rolled to the back of his head in annoyance, Matt felt a vibrating in his pocket, ‘Arabella' by the Arctic Monkeys blared from his phone as he pulled it from his pocket. 
“Both a’you shut the fuck up before I break your fuckin’ jaws” Matt said before quickly answering the phone, your voice like honey on the other end. 
“Hi Matthew” you said, sweetly
“Hey angel, what’s up?” He said, turning away from the boys. 
The sound of the sofa shifting against the floor grabbed his attention back to them, he was met with the sight of Chris pretending to fuck the side of the couch, slapping the leather arm as if it’s an ass and Nate, pretending to give a blowjob to the end of his dying joint.
“You uh, you left your english lit book here, thought you’d wanna know in case you think you lost it or somethin”
“Oh, shit, did I?” Matt asked, leaning down and taking his shoe off, throwing it full force at his idiot brother and best friend making obscene gestures and noises only a few feet away from him, “I’ll come get it now, sweetheart, m’gonna need it” Matt said, his words focused on you but his gaze firmly on the boys as they curled over in laughter, dodging Matts flying trainer. 
“Okay, text me when you’re here, I’ll buzz you in” You responded. 
“Alright angel, I won’t be long” He said, ending the phone and shoving it into his pocket. 
“BYE Y/N” Nate screamed across the living room, giggling and rolling into Chris like a child 
“Are you two finished?” Matt said, kicking off his other shoe and humming it at them, they ducked out the way and their laughter continued, not yet tired of the bit they were doing. 
“You just got home from hers and you’re going back? Kids pussy whipped” Chris said, shaking his head. 
“Y’know what Chris, I think our boy likes her” Nate said, raising his eyebrows a couple times. 
“oh you definitely fuckin’ do! you actually like this girl” Chris responded, turning to Matt who’s cheeks had flushed a bright red 
“So what if I do? Is that a problem?” Matt said, near enough squaring up to the boys. 
“Nah man, it’s cool, she’s cool” Nate shrugged, sensing they may have struck a nerve. 
“Yeah she is fuckin’ cool, she’s cool as fuck actually, probably the smartest person I’ve ever met, on top of being unbelievably fuckin' hot and she’s easy to be around, unlike you two shit talkin' idiots” Matt sounded off, throwing an arm up in frustration. 
“Kids in love” Chris scoffed, cocking his head towards Matt as he looked at Nate 
“For real, he’s obsessed” Nate chuckled, “fuck baby keep doing that, you’re so sexy oh my fucking god” Nate mocked Matt, laying back on the sofa and holding his hands over his crotch, pretending to be holding a girls head there as she sucks him off. 
Chris laughed and smacked Nate’s hands away from his dick, slapping his palm and dapping him up in agreement. 
Matt rolled his eyes and tensed his jaw, shaking his head as he turned to walk towards the front door. 
“When I get back m’gonna kick the shit out’a both of you” Matt said, pushing his feet into his sliders and opening the door in a huff, slamming it behind him, making the whole front room shake. 
“Whatever you say, angel!” Chris said, mimicking Matts nickname for you. 
Matt strode down the path towards his car in a huff, almost ripping his car door off its hinges as he slammed down into the passenger seat, taking a deep and fast breath. After a few short seconds of sitting with closed eyes to ground himself, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called you.
"how the fuck did you get here so fast?" your voice a soothing balm to his anger on the other end of the phone.
He chuckled, "I haven't even left my driveway yet, angel, just wanted to call you and let you know i'm staying at yours again tonight" he said, putting his keys into the ignition and starting his car.
"okay, s'fine. any particular reason or?" You drew out your final word
"jus' rather be with you than at mine" Matt said, shrugging.
"Awh, Matthew, you're so cringe" your cadence was insulting but Matt could feel your cheesy smile through the phone.
"watch your mouth, tough girl, or i'll fill it" his threatening tone sent a jolt up your spine
"Is that a promise?" you asked, seductively, a quick change in demeanour that Matt adored.
"you're a deviant, y'know that right?" Matt shook his head as he smiled at your response, it was like he built you in a lab.
"Just shut up and get here, I miss you, idiot" you hung up the phone before he could respond, not wanting to face the teasing that would inevitably follow admitting you miss him after barely an hour of being apart.
Matt opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by the sound of you hanging up, a grin crawled its way onto his face and he couldn't help but relish in the way you made him feel. He meant what he said to his brother and Nate, you really were the coolest person he knew.
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stxar-pvnk · 6 months
Text
Being around Tony stark can take a toll on you, some have to toughen up their skin to endure Tonys remarks, some just drift away from him, not wanting to deal with it.
But Peter?
No he's adapted.
Every snarky remark, and name Peter would be told, he just came back even stronger
"did you seriously forget to do your homework? Again? Don't you have enhanced..everything?"
"Mr stark, If we wanna talk irresponsible, let's talk about the time it seemingly crossed your mind to tell your loved ones you were dying because of the shrapnel in your chest." Peter snarked back
Tony stood frozen, his jaw dropped.
"well..fuck." Tony mumbled trying to contain l laughter at how sudden Peter came up with something like that.
Or another time.
"Peter, let me get you some new shoes." Tony pleaded
Peter sucked on his lollipop and squinted at Tony
"what? No why." Peter asked seemingly shocked
"because they're ratty. And old. And they look like they're gonna fall off or disintegrate at any given time." Tony answered crossing his arms
"why do you even keep them around?" The older one asked completely confused
"your ratty, old and likely to be on your death bed in a few years, why do we keep you around?" Peter snarked back raising an eyebrow.
Rhodey who was just passing through to grab some coffee was howling with laughter doubling over to clutch his stomach.
Sometimes it's not even directed at Tony.
"how do we even know we can trust the kid, he's unreliable" Sams eyes narrowed his voice harsh, but Steve nodded anyways
"I agree with Sam, recruiting a child would be very irresponsible."
Peter who was swinging on his chair, now paying attention in the meeting with the avengers turns to Steve and sam
"oh lord.." Tony muttered as rhodey tried to hide the smug, fond look on his face
"dude, you are 2 times my age, stop complaining and just admit that being an old man is getting to you, plus I can hear your knees snap like glow sticks when you crouch down. it's gross. Also who in this room has 1. A weird bird suit, and 2. Doesn't." Peter finished crossing his arms mirroring Tony. Alot.
"did I just get insulted by a toddler." Sam muttered
Peter is a sassy kid.
Peter is Tony's sassy kid.
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bkgml · 6 months
Note
hihihi!
idk if ur requests are open but i got an idea :)
bakugou/reader where they are in a secret relationship and the bakusquad sees them cuddling or whatever when they think nobody's around. maybe make them act like they hate each other infront of others hehe.
thanks in advance :D
oh yes yes i’ve already done two secret relationship posts u can find them on my masterlist :)) but i like this idea a lot so new one! lol
“hey kats.” you smile, seeing your boyfriend walk into the common room.
“shhhhhh.” he groans, agitated.
“hey?-” you frown.
“yeah yeah i love you, whatever. have a fucking headache.” he grumbles, crawling over you on the couch to lay his head on your chest, nuzzling into your soft shirt.
you smile, raking your fingers through his hair in attempt to soothe his headache.
“how come?” you say softly.
he stays quiet, unable to pinpoint what exactly caused this nuisance.
“..denki.” he says plainly with a deep frown on his face.
you laugh, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“you can’t just blame denki for all your inconveniences.” you say giggling.
he looks up at you with a pout and you peck his lips.
“yeah i can. he’s stupid.” he replies grumbling.
you squish his face in your hands and he sighs, eyes closing.
“that feels nice.” he mumbles, words distorted from his squashed lips.
“what?” you laugh, moving to release his face.
“hey. i said it feels nice. stay.” he grumbles, eyes closed.
you place your hands back on his face and he sighs, the pressure releasing the tension on his temples.
you place kisses all over his face, his squished cheeks, his pouted lips, his pretty lashes.
“can i just get you an advil? we can nap in my dorm?” you offer with a grin.
his eyes open slowly, annoyed with the harsh lights of the common room.
“are you gonna play with my hair?”
****************************************************
“i knew it!!” mina whisper shouts.
she feels a pinch to her arm.
“you didn’t know anything!” sero whisper shouts back.
“okay fine whatever, i didn’t. but this is INSANE.” mina yelps, eyes wide as saucers.
“i can’t believe he blamed me for his headache!” denki pouts.
kirishima rolls his eyes at his friend.
“why are you so quiet?” mina frowns, jabbing her finger in kirishimas chest.
kirishima freezes, attempting to stay cool.
“i just… wanna respect their privacy.” he defends.
mina grabs hold of sero and denkis shirts, tugging them close to her.
“he KNEW!!” she says, filled with anger.
she jumps up and down while shaking sero and denki furiously.
“dude! are you serious?!” denki asks.
kirishima crosses his arms over his chest.
“well… bakugou might’ve said a little something.” he smiles sheepishly.
“UGH. i hate you so much right now!”
the pair continues to argue as you and katsuki obliviously move around in the kitchen.
“they’re going to hear you, dipshits.” sero states plainly, already bored of this newfound information.
mina pouts, crossing her arms over her chest and kirishima goes silent.
“i want to get a closer look, see how fast they switch up when someone’s close.” denki smiles devilishly.
the three watch him go, wait till he’s out of earshot and then start dying of laughter.
“he is not smooth enough to pull that off.” sero grins.
“he’s going to get his ass kicked.”
****************************************************
katsuki watches boredly while you rustle through the medicine cabinet.
he groans, resting his forehead on the cool tile of the kitchen island.
“i know.. ‘m sorry kats. i can’t find the advil.” you frown, moving denkis flintstone gummy vitamins.
“i don’t need it, just need to sleep. come on.” he sighs, fisting at your shirt.
“hey guys! what’s going on here?” denki cheers as katsuki tears his hand off of you.
“hey denki.” you murmur, continuing to move throughout the shelf.
“do you know where the advil is?” you sigh, turning to denki.
denki frowns, upset at the lack of drama in this room.
“no idea… why do you need it?” he questions.
“bak- i… have a headache..” you murmur slowly, catching your almost mistake.
denkis brows pull together, glancing at bakugou still hunched over with his forehead on the counter.
“what’s wrong with you then?” denki asks with a smirk.
“shut the fuck up before i knock your lights out.” katsuki seethes, remaining in his weakened position.
you giggle as denkis eyes widen.
“wow kami, he means business.” you say grinning.
kaminari’s ears turn bright red from embarrassment, frustration bubbling up in his veins.
“oh shit denki… don’t say it.” mina mutters and kiri and sero understand exactly what she means.
the three of them watch as kami’s hands ball into fists and his brows pull together.
“temper tantrum.” sero sighs.
“yeah?! well i know you two are going at it!” denki screams at bakugou.
“kats-”
katsuki lunges forward, gripping denki by the front of his shirt.
“well shit. come on.” kiri says quickly, hitting sero.
you watch as katsuki’s arms are restrained by kirishima and sero wraps his arms around denkis middle, the two pulling them apart.
“we’re sorry!” kirishima groans from behind your boyfriend.
“it’s fine.” you mutter, knowing katsuki’s only mad because of his headache.
“it’s not fine! get off of me shit stain!” katsuki screams.
kirishima looks to you for reassurance. you nod, and kirishima releases him.
katsuki lunges forward once again and you grab him by the ear.
“ah ah ah.” katsuki halts while groaning in pain.
you sigh, giving straight mouthed looks to your friends.
“upstairs.” you say forcefully to katsuki, pinching his ear hard then releasing.
he groans, giving a look to denki before turning on his heel and stomping up the stairs.
“we’re sorry-”
“-we didn’t mean to-”
you hold your hands up in front of their faces, effectively silencing them.
“night.” you mutter, trudging up the stairs behind your boyfriend.
****************************************************
as soon as you are out of earshot the four of them erupt.
“DID YOU SEE HOW HE LISTENED TO HER?!”
“HES DOWN BADDDD!!”
****************************************************
“fucking denki.” katsuki groans.
“yeah yeah just get in bed you big baby.” you giggle softly and katsuki glares at you.
he climbs in bed, reaching his hand out to pull you in by your shirt.
“im coming relax.” you laugh.
he frowns deeply, folding his arms over his chest.
you smile, climbing into bed beside him.
staring into his eyes, you search for answers in his tired gaze.
“how’s your head?” you whisper, leaning forward and brushing his bangs back to reveal his cute forehead.
he frowns and lets a grown slip from his lips.
“they just had to pick today to find out, huh?” he mumbles, grabbing your hand.
you giggle softly, leaning your head against his shoulder.
“right, cause any other day you’d be soooo understanding?” you smirk up at him.
he scoffs, pushing your face away with his big hand.
“just wanted you all to myself…” he says under his breath, as if he didn’t even want you to hear him.
you feel your heart melt, shifting close to his face.
his breath hitches subtly as you turn your face to press open mouth kisses down his jaw.
he reaches for your thigh, pulling your leg over his hips.
you continue to kiss at his neck and jaw, placing a kiss to his adams’ apple as it bobs in his throat.
“you have me, okay?” you murmur against his skin.
he nods, arms wrapping around you in a bear hug.
“right.” you giggle.
“forgot its past your bedtime.”
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