#I was fortunate enough not to fall in love with a sociopath in high school though

[pro-dumbledores-office]

One of the great joys of my childhood was growing up with Dumbledore.

Dumbledore was my hero when I was a small and kind of quirky child. He felt relatable. When I was a quirky but more preppy and slightly too power hungry teenager Deathly Hallows came out and I learned Dumbledore had the same problems. This more than anything is I think the source of my ongoing affection for him. Lastly, when I was struggling with my own sexuality we all discovered Dumbledore was gay which was oddly comforting.

[dayseternal-blog]

OK OK OK, I know I sound kind of weird but, could you pleaseee recommend some of the kinkiest naruhina fanfics?😳

Thank you so much🤍🤍

OK OK OK, you know you came to the right place 😳

I don’t know what you mean exactly by kinky, but I was thinking...I’ll just sort this by kinks hahahahahahha

OMG

This is going to include some of the MOST KINKY Naruhina fics I’ve ever read, EVER.  SOOO majorly inappropriate.  Also this will have some of the ones I’ve recommended before, but I’ll put everything under the cut.

NaruHina Smut & Kink

um hmmmm

Everything that follows is Rated Explicit.  Some of these fics are meant to be read with HUMOR.  Please enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!

BDSM

“Echoes of Silence” by @ellaroundpanda - Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Hinata Hyuga was trapped. Her relationship with Toneri was leading to nowhere and she wanted to find a new Dom. Naruto Uzumaki seemed to be the answer to all her prayers, but her fiancé wouldn’t give up that easily…

“Professor Passion” by omegas - College AU, Dom!Hinata & Sub!Naruto One-shot. Naruto is a new university student with a crush on his professor; Hinata Hyuga. Shy first dates and kisses quickly turn into a relationship, and Naruto discovers his professor’s provocative secret – along with one of his own.

“Secrets of the Hidden Leaf” by Sessakag - Includes a ton of different kinks. Canon-Divergent. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. The author’s summary hints at NaruHinaSasu, but they never got that far in the story. Naruto and Hinata push the boundaries of propriety and decency in a budding relationship of profound love and wild, sexual exploration.

“Out with the Old” by agitosgirl - Includes cheating, Modern AU. Two-shot. Hinata’s been mistreated by her current Dom, Toneri. Thankfully, another Dom has had his eyes set on her for awhile now.

“dorks.” by EroPrincess - Canon-Compliant, Multi-chapter, Complete. Random sexual exploits featuring Konoha’s most innocent couple.

“I want you to cry” by Devahhole - Includes a ton of kinks and things like dub-con and graphic murder, Multi-chapter, RECENTLY COMPLETE!!! A sociopath blinded by revenge runs into his greatest opponent.

“Some Like it Rough” by Cheating Death - Modern AU, One-shot. Yet she couldn’t help the thoughts that had been racing through her mind lately. Thoughts of her fiance using less restraint than he usually did.

Clones

“Clone Present” by @carny-writings - Canon Compliant (lol), One-shot. So it’s Hinata’s birthday; does this mean a Naruto Shadow Clone Gangbang is in order for our best girl?

“Hinata’s Rose Lips” by Plump_Hinata - Includes extreme Bimbo!Hinata, Canon Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto and Hinata are sent on a mission to find a mysterious flower. But they will get a big surprise when they find out that the "Rose Lips" flower has a special power. A power to turn young ladies into ultra-hot, super-busty, sexy bimbos, and Hinata will be its victim!

Stamina/Multiple Orgasms/Cum Inflation/Size Kink

“Honeymoon” by Prestige Frost - Canon-Divergent. One-shot. During their honeymoon, Hinata learned something new about her husband: he was an absolute stamina freak in the bedroom. How was the beach? Why, they never even left the room!

“Adventures of the Warlock’s Apprentice” by pizzansushi - Includes lactation and furry kink, Fantasy AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. One rainy night, a warlock, finds a stray cat in alley. He takes Hinata in and breaks her curse. Turns out, his smitten kitten is actually a young lady. Naruto the Warlock allows her to stay beside him as his apprentice, although her looks and wiles will likely be the death of him.

“Sweet Love Bakery” by pizzansushi - Includes lactation kink, Fantasy AU, One-shot (but supposed to be multi-chapter?). Tender and sweet. Love makes people feel full and satisfied. Naruto Uzumaki the Warlock and his wife Hinata Hyuga open a bakery tavern.

“The Pinocchio Effect” by Silent_Soul_Ken - Fantasy/Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto goes to see a Fortune Teller for a view into his luck however after his insult he'll find that he has a big problem and it's just getting bigger and bigger…

“Lord Hokage” by EroPrincess - Canon Compliant, Series of One-shots. Naruto loves it when Hinata screams out "Lord Hokage" during their lovemaking.

“Engaged or whatever…” by Devahhole - Rated E, Multi-chapter, Complete.  Shenanigans, jealousy, and sex ensue when Naruto and Hinata decide to tie the knot.

Squirting

“Unless the World Were to End” by @bunny-hoodlum - Modern AU, One-shot.  Anonymous internet friends decide to meet up IRL and give each other their first times.

“I’m in Here” by @bunny-hoodlum - RTN!Hinata, Canon-Divergent. One-shot. Thanks to Hinata’s newly acquired boldness, she and Naruto begin to explore their boundaries with each other – partly for distraction, partly for fun – But is Hinata the same Hinata anymore or not?

Voyeurism

“Unseen Audience” by @vegebulsoup​ - Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. He wondered what she might think if she found out about his new hobby. Surely, she would be mortified, embarrassed, and/or thoroughly creeped out. But still, he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

“Caught in the Act” by HoneyWriter78 - Modern/College AU, One-shot. Hinata decides to watch one of the adult videos at her workplace, not knowing that someone is watching her…

“Let Me See You” by callmesenorita - Canon Compliant (lol), Two-shot. When Naruto wakes to an empty bed, he is surprised to discover his wife indulging in an old habit. He’s also seriously turned on.

“Money Shot” by callmesenorita - College AU. Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto can’t help noticing that his soft-spoken, new girlfriend bears similarities to PearlPrincess…but there’s no way Hinata, of all people, livestreams those kinds of videos, right?

Cheating

“A Maid’s Responsibility” by agitosgirl - Modern AU, One-shot. It had been a year since he and Sakura had been physical. Now he had Hinata, sweet, kind, caring Hinata.

“All Kinds of Wrong” by Kieren - Crime AU. One-shot. It was ironic how something so pure had sprung from such a sordid arrangement. They were perfect for each other. But they had met at the wrong time.

Drugged/Dub-Con/Non-Con

“Side Effects” by Cheating Death - Includes graphic non-con/dub-con, Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Complete.  Naruto and Hinata decide to participate in a high-paying clinical study, but the pay turns out to be too good to be true.

“Shinobi Passions” by HoneyWriter78 - Canon-Divergent AU. Multi-Chapter, Incomplete. When a mission takes a surprising turn for the worse, only Naruto can help her through the night…

“A Love Never Seen” by HoneyWriter78 - High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata Hyuga attend Konoha High she is part of the athletics group. She is friends with Ino and Shikamaru but is secretly in love with Shikamaru who is oblivious and loves someone else. She tried to fight her feelings not noticing that a certain senpai has had his eyes on her…

“Warped” by BountifullyBeautifullyBlessed - College AU. Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata can’t sleep and her roommate, Naruto, is more than willing to help her out.

“Heavy Sleeper” by InTheMist032000 - Canon-Divergent AU, Two-shot. Hinata has a peculiar way of sleeping, and a knack for sleeping through all kinds of things. Naruto is intrigued and makes it a game to see how far he can go before she wakes up.

Semi-Public/In Public

“The Lustful Maid” by HoneyWriter78 - Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata Hyuga wakes up in an unknown room on an unknown bed, after one of the most worst days of her life. Her only memory is knocking into a tall blonde handsome guy with her juice spilled over him! Was it a dream? I think not as now she has signed a contract to be his very own personal maid!

“The Superstar Falls in Love” by HoneyWriter78 - Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto Uzumaki is a superstar, he and his band Kyubi set off clubbing after their opening night in Konoha. There he meets a blue haired beauty that immediately captures his attention. Will this blonde superstar playboy finally fall in love?

“A Shirt, a Neckerchief and my Bag on my Shoulders” by @badluckbrebis​ - Summer Camp AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Hinata is freezing cold as she washes up in a nearby stream despite the poor weather, until Naruto unexpectedly shows up to shelter her…

“Nighttime Workout” by Breezyanimetra - College AU, Two-shot. Shy Hinata doesn’t usually have the courage to speak with her long time crush Naruto. All she does is watch him workout wishing she can do more. A snow storm one fateful night changes that for her.

“21 Days” by @bunny-hoodlum - Includes dub-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Anonymous internet friends decide to meet up IRL and give each other their first times.

Pregnancy

“Vacation” by Prestige Frost - Includes foot fetish among other kinks, Canon Divergent AU, One-shot. Their honeymoon was just the beginning. For Naruto and Hinata Uzumaki, the love they shared only grew with each passing day.

“The Art of Seduction” by katraine - Canon Compliant (?), One-shot.  ...as only Uzumaki Hinata can do.

“October Tenth” by ShiroiNoKiba - Includes lactation kink and miscarriage scare, Canon-divergent. Two-shot.  Naruto’s pregnant wife surprises him at home for his birthday.

Dark!Naruto/Demon/Kyuubi

“Calming the Beast” by Goldfishlover73 - Includes cheating, Canon-Divergent. One-shot. Naruto can’t understand why his relationship with Sakura just isn’t working. Hinata has a solution.

“Honeymoon” by DemonOfTheFridge - Includes graphic rape/non-con, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto always left on a secret mission once a year for a whole month. A curious Hinata finally had enough and followed him to an underground house. A house she finds herself trapped in, with a dark Naruto. Curiosity Killed the Cat.

“Breeding Season” by BlackMajjicDuchess - Includes rape/non-con, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Completely out of pattern, Kyuubi leaks free and causes terrible destruction that Naruto cannot suppress. There is a solution, but it comes at a terrible price.

“In a Demon’s Possession” by HoneyWriter78 - Demons AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Pursued by the snake demon Orochimaru for their mysterious bloodline, Neji and Hinata accidentally trespass into Lord Kyuubi’s territory.

Furry/Mating/Alpha/Omega Dynamics

“A Wild Love” by agitosgirl - Fox!Naruto and Bunny!Hinata, Two-shot. They are a mix of humans and animal. They form communities and societies with their own species. Unfortunately, Hinata from the bunny section of the wood, finds herself in danger of being eaten.

“Love at First Sniff” by agitosgirl - Fox!Naruto and Mouse!Hinata, One-shot. Finding your one true love is the easiest thing that anyone can do. Hinata sets out to find the one male who will become the love of her life.

“Drainage City Tales” by Silent_Soul_Ken - Includes mutation/gender changes, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto is a young man working in Fume City's mining operation recently orphaned he struggles to survive and out of desperation eats some fish. Unusually large and bloated fish eating them will cause a change he never wanted but must now accept. But when Hinata a young noble girl who loves him, finds he's missing she'll do all she can to be with him.

“Naruto’s Mate” by funkychicken67 - Canon Divergent AU, Two-shot. Naruto receives a...gift from the nine tails. And Hinata gets in the way.

“When the Devil Picks Up a Stray” by callmesenorita - Rated E, A/B/O Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata, an Omega, questions buried feelings when she decides to help a childhood friend who has adopted a new persona under the name Menma. Although their attraction is instant he is no longer the Naruto she once knew, and soon enough Hinata is thrust into a dangerous yakuza conspiracy.

“A Fate Worse than Death” by Caelestia - A/B/O Canon-Divergent, One-shot.  Naruto, improperly socialized and traumatized as a child, rejects his inner Alpha, which has devastating consequences on his family and marriage.  “A Risky Bet” is its fluffier follow-up (One-shot).

I feeeeel like I might be forgetting some, but that’s a lot! :D  Happy fic reading!!!!

[joshjacksons]

Joshua Jackson interview with "Mr Porter" (2021)

Minutes before Mr Joshua Jackson joins me in a booth for a Friday afternoon drink at a vibey hotel bar in Santa Monica, he’s confronted by his past. Or rather, a woman in her early twenties who is binge-watching Dawson’s Creek, the teen show about a close-knit group of high-school friends coming of age in a sleepy American town, which made Jackson incredibly famous between 1998 and 2003. The series, which also made household names of Ms Michelle Williams and Ms Katie Holmes, went off air 18 years ago, but is now streaming on Netflix, to the bemusement of Jackson, who played lovable rogue Pacey Witter. “This girl was like, ‘Are you...?’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, I am. He got old. I’m sorry to break it to you,’” he says, before ordering an iced tea and a charcuterie board to tide him over until dinner time. “It always surprises me when young people say they’ve just got into Dawson’s Creek. I’m like, ‘Is it a costume drama to you? Do you feel like you’re watching a historical documentary?’”

The idea of a Friends-style reunion episode or a Sex And The City revival feels equally far-fetched to Canadian-born Jackson, now 43 and wearing it well in a pale green linen shirt and tailored linen trousers by Oliver Spencer that complement his fading brown hair and Cali-tanned skin.

“I don’t know why you’d want to [bring it back],” he says. “Nobody needs to know what those characters are doing in middle age. We left them in a nice place. Nobody needs to see that Pacey’s back hurts. I don’t think we need that update.”

And Jackson doesn’t need Dawson’s Creek. From Mr JJ Abrams’ sci-fi series Fringe (2008-2013) to the Golden Globe award-winning The Affair (2014-2019), from Ms Ava DuVernay’s ground-breaking true-crime drama When They See Us (2019) to the recent Ms Reese Witherspoon and Ms Kerry Washington-produced Little Fires Everywhere (2020), he has commanded the small screen – with a collection of dynamic and diverse work – ever since.

His latest role as Mr Christopher Duntsch, the Texas surgeon convicted of gross malpractice when 33 of his patients were left seriously injured after he operated on them and two of them died, in chilling Peacock crime drama Dr Death, is only stepping his career up another gear.

“I’ve never played anyone irredeemable before,” says Jackson, who is joined in the eight-part series (based on the 2018 Wondery podcast of the same name) by Messrs Christian Slater and Alec Baldwin. “He is charming, gregarious and has a high-level intellect, but he’s also a misogynist, probably a sociopath, certainly a narcissist and a complete incompetent who is incapable of seeing himself.”

If Duntsch is terrifying, then Jackson’s portrayal is even more so. The artist formerly known as Pacey is virtually unrecognisable (thanks to prosthetics) in the opening scene, but the real challenge for Jackson was allowing himself to view someone who is so “spectacularly evil” as a human being in order to walk in his shoes. “It’s a more damning portrayal of the man to make him into a human being, rather than just make him the bad guy,” he says. “He really believes he’s the hero, he’s the genius and that he’s the victim, so once I got past my own judgment, all the other things fell into place.”

Jackson might have his pick of stellar roles – and challenges – now, but it has not happened by accident. Take it from someone who has been in the business since landing his first job aged 14 in Disney’s live-action movie series The Mighty Ducks, opposite Brat Pack alumnus Mr Emilio Estevez.

“You try to make it look like it happens accidentally,” he says, “but there is no way to do this and not be ambitious. I’d say I’m extremely ambitious because I’ve been doing this cutthroat job for nearly 30 years. I’m in the pay-off phase of my career now. One of the benefits of surviving for as long as I have is you get to learn from your own mistakes.”

Such as? “I wouldn’t say, ‘I wish I hadn’t done that,’ because it all becomes bricks in a path, but [after Dawson’s Creek] I was not choosy enough about the things I was doing. You get stuck. You start trying to perform the performance you think people are hoping to see you do. I was so used to working all the time that I just worked all the time. There was definitely a conscious moment in my mid-twenties when I realised I wasn’t really enjoying the work that I was doing. My manager at the time just said, ‘Take a breath. You’re burnt out.’”

The turning point came in 2005, when Jackson was offered a role in the two-hander Mr David Mamet play A Life In The Theatre, opposite Sir Patrick Stewart. “God bless him, Patrick could have made my life miserable because I had no idea what I was doing, ” he says. “I hadn’t been on stage since I was a kid and now I was in the West End in over my head. But it reminded me that I actually enjoyed being an actor, that it’s not about the red carpet or travelling around the world. What I really enjoy is working on good material with good people.”

It’s no surprise Jackson’s time on Dawson’s Creek led to a career crisis. From the ages of 19 to 24, he lived with his fellow cast mates in Wilmington, North Carolina, filming day in, day out, in an arrangement he likens to college. “You get to the end and they’re like, ‘Here’s your degree. Go live now. You’re an adult. Go out into the world,’” he says.

But most graduates don’t have to deal with global fame. “It’s transitory. You’re only ever cool for a moment and then you become much less cool. I was always pretty dubious about flatterers,” he says, recalling a time he was stung in London in the mid-2000s. “I went on a date in Hyde Park with a woman whose name I will not use – she was socialite-famous – and she was acting completely bizarre, looking over her shoulder the whole time. I came to find out that she had hired a photographer to follow us through the park and gave a whole story to the tabloids about how I was going to meet her family.”

It was his growing fortune, rather than fame, that caused Jackson the most anxiety. “Suddenly, at 19 years old, I was making more in a week than most of my friends’ parents would make in a year,” he says. “It was lovely to have the money, but it was that feeling of nobody is worth that kind of money. You feel like a fraud and it took me a long time to forgive myself for not being the thing that I was perceived as.”

Born in Vancouver, but raised in Topanga, California, until he was eight (before moving back to Vancouver following his parents’ divorce), Jackson bought his childhood home in 2001 and lives in it today with his wife, British Queen & Slim actor Ms Jodie Turner-Smith, and their 15-month-old daughter.

“My father unfortunately was not a good father or a husband and exited the scene, but that house in Topanga was where everything felt simple, so it was a very healing thing for me to do,” he says. Fast-forward to 2021 and his baby daughter now sleeps in her father’s childhood bedroom. “There was a mural of a dragon on the wall in that room that I couldn’t believe was still there, years later. The owner [who sold him the house] said, ‘I knew it meant a lot to somebody and that they were going to come back for it some day.’”

Becoming a first-time parent during a pandemic sounds stressful, but it afforded Jackson months at home with his wife and child that his normal work schedule wouldn’t have allowed.

“I now recognise how perverse the way that we have set up our society is,” he says. “There is not a father I know who works a regular job who didn’t go back to the office a week later. It’s robbing that man of the opportunity to bond with his child and spend time with his partner.”

Despite his obvious career ambitions, fatherhood has changed Jackson’s priorities in “every possible way”, he says. “It’s 100 per cent changed how I approach my work and my life. That has been made so clear to me in this past year. For me to feel good about what I’m doing day to day, my family has to be the central focus.

“There are plenty of things left for me to do, but now the thing that gets me excited is experiencing the world through my daughter’s eyes. I can’t wait to take her scuba diving. I can’t wait to take her skiing. I can’t wait to read a great book with her. I’m not worried at all she’ll be a wallflower. She’s been a character from the word go.”

Jackson met Turner-Smith, 34, two days after his 40th birthday. He had been single since his 10-year relationship with German actress Ms Diane Kruger ended in 2016. “I was not looking to fall in love again or meet the mother of my child, but life has other plans for you,” he says.

The couple met at a party. Turner-Smith was wearing the same The Future Is Female Ejaculation T-shirt Ms Tessa Thompson’s character, Detroit, wears in the 2018 film Sorry To Bother You. “That’s what I used to break the ice. I shouted, ‘Detroit!’ across the room. Not the smoothest thing I’ve ever done, but it worked. We were pretty much inseparable from the word go. It was a whirlwind romance and I can tell my daughter I literally saw her mother across a room and thought, ‘I have to be next to this woman.’”

A self-confessed “useless” shopper, Jackson gives his wife full credit for his current wardrobe. He is jewellery-free, apart from a wedding band and a gold signet “JJ” ring on his little finger (a present from his wife), and discovered tailored sweatsuits (by Stampd and Reigning Champ) in the pandemic.

“Jodie has influence in the way that a wonderful wife encourages you, through love, to dress well. She was like, ‘We’re going to throw away all the sweatpants from your past and I’m going to get you some that actually make you look like an adult male and you will still feel comfortable around the house,’ and I’m like, ‘What an amazing idea!’ Who knew you could get sweatsuits that actually look good on your body?”

Jackson’s style has evolved, he says, “from slovenly teen to it’s-nice-when-your-clothes-actually-fit-you”. The penny dropped after he auditioned for his former co-star Estevez, who was directing the 2006 Mr Robert Kennedy biopic Bobby. He said to me, ‘You only got this job because I know you. You came in here to play a very well-put together 1960s political operative and you’re wearing jeans and a hoodie.’

“I had to grow up a little bit. We are very much raised in Canada to never, ever show off, so it took me a while to recognise it’s OK to look good when you go out.”

Still, when you’ve grown up in front of the camera, “every pimple literally documented”, and lived (very successfully) to tell the tale, you can probably be forgiven for the odd fashion faux pas.

“I wore a silk Ascot to an event once in Paris and I still have nightmares about it,” he says. “I looked like Fred from Scooby Doo, but you live and learn.”

[tropiyas]

now that it's valentine's day, it's time for me to spend 30 minutes writing down my thoughts on love because it's not like i have anyone to spend this time with LOLMAO

how i feel right now? physically: a little unsatisfied with my body/health right now -- which i normally NEVER am. but then again I never let myself go as much as during the initial quarantine/lockdown. + also I just ate so much fried and cheesy food with my roommates yesterday during the superbowl so I feel like shit

BESIDES THAT i am actually feeling pretty okay in terms of my feelings or state of mind compared to how I felt on Valentine's Day 2 years ago:

I watched the Sonic Movie by myself (fun watch ofc) so I came back to my dorm feeling REALLY lonely because I didn't even have friends to invite to see it lol. And so I think I misattribued that to wanting a gf/bf and got tinder/bumble (was on it for a few months, with a tiny amount of likes and even fewer matches) but eventually decided it just wasn't for me. Went on net 2 dates from 2020-2022 and both of them were alright (friendly and polite but nothing really came of them)

BUT ALL THAT TO SAY I didn't/don't really want a partner right now I think I was just lonely as fuck in early college, and now I'm not because I have friends to hang out and spend time with! also I'm working on mingling and socializing more just to meet new people -- this is corny and romantic but I recently realized that i just do like meeting new ppl in general!

what I'm still trying to figure out is whether that's ^ just an inherent life approach I have where being friendly to people makes me feel better abt the world, or if it's subconsciously some sociopathic optimization i'm trying to do like "if i know more people, i'll increase the odds of me finding someone who i love & loves me" which seems selfish and ingenuine so I try not to think about it too much :/

last bit, focusing more on my thoughts on "love" (beyond friend/familial love, I'm fortunate enough to have that in my life)

3 bullets to discuss, on 1) not really feeling Loved/Wanted 2) my reaction to that and 3) how I feel abt loving other people

- growing up I had a decent sense that everyone liked me but nobody LIKE liked me or was interested in me beyond being a friend/acquaintance. i never made any enemies and most people were super nice to me bc I'm polite to them, BUT no one's ever had a crush on me or asked me out and that felt (still feels) kind of abnormal of me looking around at my peers/friends. I guess i'm not conventionally attractive, or something about my personality is just that uninteresting 😔. so somewhere down the line of late high school (after having told 3 ppl i liked them and getting a no each time) I basically came to the conclusion "i'm just nobody's type, I'm fine with being single forever as long as I got friends/family" and I definitely still hold that mentality which is lame and stupid, now that I'm re-reading what i just typed

- despite no one loving me, i've never felt entitled to it and I still don't get how guys get redpilled about it (shoutouts to having a decent family/high school friend group that kept me grounded)

- it's kind of unpredictable when I fall for someone it's happened like 2-3 times BUT despite that i LOVE loving people. Literally when i have a crush on someone, food tastes better, days seem brighter, and everything seems better when I'm around them or thinking abt them and it's honestly a really cool and fun way to enjoy life. it's been a minute since i've last felt that way, maybe the next time it happens in my life it actually lines up and the feelings are mutual (fantasy land)

In conclusion: happy valentine's day to me (i will always love myself) and also everyone who decides to read this (parasocial thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this). maybe next year i'll have someone to give flowers to :P

[paulisweeabootrash]

2020 mini-review pack

Di Gi Charat (1999)

Episodes watched: 7

Platform: VRV (Hidive)

Di Gi Charat (pronounced like “carrot”) is a series of fast-paced 4-ish-minute shorts nominally about Dejiko and Rabi-en-Rose, rivals trying to be Earth’s greatest idol.  Who are, respectively, a catgirl and a bunnygirl.  Oh, and also they’re aliens?  That’s... uh... certainly a premise, I guess.  The actual show consists of self-contained gag-filled episodes with no ongoing story, in almost a sitcom kind of way, throwing the characters into situations without context, but with a stable “baseline” situation (unlike, say, Pop Team Epic, where the characters serve more as stock personalities playing different roles in different sketches).  Dejiko is a snarky schemer.  Rabi-en-Rose is a snarky schemer whose main activity seems to be bothering Dejiko at work.  Puchiko is a small and quiet child and behaves accordingly.  And Gema is... something?  I have no clue, honestly, and neither does the fan wiki.  Other recurring characters fill stock roles such as “manager” and “otaku”.  A lot of the humor centers around poking fun at fandom.  It’s a show by, for, and about otaku from an era before our current internet culture, and since I’m a millennial and not from Japan, that makes it unusually hard to evaluate.

W/A/S: 8/2?/5?

Weeb: Chibis.  Catgirls.  Idols.  Kappas.  Kawaii verbal tics.  Akihabara.  Low-detail background characters who look like blobs or thumbs with faces.  Kanji left on-screen but untranslated.  Particular sorts of highly-exaggerated facial expressions we may have become familiar with through emoji, but which still haven’t made their way into American media generally.  This is ludicrously Japanese.

Ass: This really isn't that kind of show.  Although it is certainly designed for adults, as evidenced by the presence of phrases like “naughty doujinshi”.

Shit: The art is fun.  It has style shifts from comic strip to watercolor painting to mainstream 90s anime, and looks better than some of its contemporaries that were, uh, “real” shows.  The opening takes up about a quarter of the total runtime and gets annoying quickly (but that's because it’s clearly designed for being part of a broadcast block, not binge-watching).  Still, unless I’m missing hidden cleverness on account of not having the background knowledge, there’s not much to it.  It’s just okay.

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First Astronomical Velocity (band, active 2011-present)

Platform: Spotify, surprisingly

Okay, this one is a bit different, and I’m jettisoning the whole format for it.  Remember how I said the music-centered episodes of SoniAni were actually pretty good, even though the modeling-centered episodes were so offputting I never finished the show?  Well it turns out that First Astronomical Velocity, Sonico’s band, has released several IRL albums.  Physical copies may be a little hard to come by, but official uploads of a lot of their music can be found on Youtube and Spotify.  Do your musical interests include at least two of: string arrangements that would be at home in a particularly sappy movie soundtrack, 90s-00s alternative rock, synthesizer beep-boops, and that constricted cutesy Japanese women’s vocal style (you know the one I mean)?  Then this is for you.  They’re a pretty good... uh... alt-pop-rock band, I guess is what I’d call them.

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Interspecies Reviewers (2020)

Episodes watched: the entire 12-episode season

Platform: I plead the 5th.  But it’s getting a video release soon, so it will finally be legitimately available in English!

I started this year with a plot-light fanservicey animal-people show, and now I’m ending the year with... a plot-light fanservicey animal-people show.  But unlike Nekopara, this show had me cracking up, eagerly clicking “next episode”, and not complaining about the premise.  I’m sure a lot of people do have a problem with this show’s premise -- which centers almost entirely on various forms of sex work -- and I understand and respect that they will want to skip this show.

But for the rest of you: Interspecies Reviewers is a wildly-NSFW comedy about a group of fantasy world adventurers who gain fame and fortune reviewing brothels of different species.  I expected excessive nudity and fantasy tropes, but I didn’t expect to also get serious thoughts.  Like showing, in the golem and Magic Metropolis episodes, some of the unsettling problems that are looming IRL as deepfakes and sex robots are in development -- note especially the contrast between consensually and non-consensually basing automata on real people in those episodes.  Or the discussion in the last episode of how much riskier sex would be in a world without magic (i.e., ours).  This is a much smarter and more interesting show than you’d expect, considering that it has so much sexual content that it got dropped by two of the networks airing it and even its US distributor.

W/A/S: 5/10/4

Weeb: Although heavily influenced by the Western fantasy media canon of European mythology and Tolkien and tabletop RPGs, familiarity with the tropes of fantasy anime will help you “get” this too, as will familiarity with the -sigh- character dynamics and censorship practices of hentai.  Especially because it’s a comedy, there are probably also instances where I have completely missed topical references or wordplay that a Japanese person would get, but I can’t think of any specific instances right now of “there was clearly supposed to be a joke but I missed it”.

Ass: Look, this could not possibly have more sexual content without unambiguously becoming porn.  Genitals are (almost) always carefully hidden by viewing angle or conveniently-placed glowing (something lampshaded in one episode as an actual feature of one of the species they review), but otherwise, expect lots of nudity and almost nonstop crude humor.  Do not watch this with children.  Do not watch this with your parents.  Do not watch this with friends you don’t know well enough to know how they’ll react to something like this.

Shit: This show is better-made than it deserves to be.  It’s pretty dumb at points, but it’s fun enough to make up for it.  The art is consistent and pleasant, and the opening and ending themes are extremely fun, but it’s not a serious standout in any of those departments.  Also, I swear the background music is stock music, but I don’t remember what other show(s) I’ve heard it in before.

Stray thought: Crim is a precious and relatable cinnamon roll and I love them.

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OreSuki OVA (2020)

Platform: Crunchyroll

So, I know I didn’t cover the whole season in my initial review, but I still want to mention the hour-ish-long finale of this show, which was released straight to streaming.  Short version of the rest of the season: Joro starts to actually fall for Pansy, but a new challenger, Hose, appears.  He is irritatingly attractive and effortless at maintaining the right persona for the situation, leading Joro to describe him as “the main character”.  Hose is the sociopathic manipulator Joro wishes he could be, and Pansy, who has a bad past with him, clearly wants nothing more than for Joro to stand up to him.  But, since this is OreSuki, it’s not going to be handled simply.  No, instead, strap in for a grand finale of Joro and Hose competing in, and trying to manipulate through rules-lawyering, an absolutely ludicrous competition to win the right to date Pansy.  And, on top of it, we also get to finally see how Sun-chan got to be the way he is and what happened at that pivotal baseball game that set off the whole plot.  What has Joro learned from the experiences of the past season?  You’ll see!  And you’ll facepalm about it!

Really, you must watch this if you watched the regular season.

W/A/S: 6/5(!)/4ish

Weeb: Basically the same as I said before.  Gags referencing other Japanese media, anime and otherwise, and it's better if you’re familiar with the high school romcoms and harem comedies Joro thinks in terms of.

Ass (and slight content note): -sigh- Why does the camera need to be there?  Also, Joro, you just committed a little bit of sexual assault for the sake of this contest.  Stop.

Shit: I want to rate this overall better than I did the regular season because I think it’s an excellent finale overall because, even though it ends in a very “let’s leave everything unresolved” way that’s common in media that rely on absurd relationships to propel the plot, it does so in a way that makes sense in character.  I personally think it would’ve been stronger if it had, well, confirmed its title, and at least some of the other “challengers” had lost interest in Joro, but I guess they probably want a Season 2, since they have so much more source material to work from.  There are... oh god 14 light novels?!  That is too many.

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Your Name. (2016)

Platform: DVD

Two high schoolers -- small-town girl Mitsuha, from Itomori, and big-city boy Taki, from Tokyo -- find themselves in each other’s bodies for a day.  They both think at first it must be a very vivid dream, but when it happens again, and they start finding clues like notes they don’t remember writing and comments by friends and relatives about their out-of-character behavior, they realize the body swap is real.  This begins a relationship of mutual understanding that nobody else can really understand -- or would even believe (except Mitsuha’s grandmother, who is... familiar with this phenomenon) -- and the plot then pivots to a tense adventure where they use their connection, some crucial information Taki has, the skills of Mitsuha’s friends, and the intervention of Itomori’s patron deity, to save the town from an impending disaster.

And that’s all I’ll say about that, because I really do think this is something you should go into blind.  My only remaining comments are that (1) the red string of fate is critically important imagery, and is particularly interesting to me here because, if I took a particular scene correctly, Mitsuha made her own red string of fate from sheer necessity, which is a very different twist on that trope, and (2) I am now curious about the history of the body-swapping phenomenon in-universe.

W/A/S: 4?/2/2

Weeb: As mentioned above, symbolism of the Red String of Fate shows up throughout the movie, as do the occasional distinctly Japanese quirk like a wildly out-of-place vending machine or a café with dogs, and but for the most part it’s a cross-cultural story of understanding and dealing with someone else’s life, and of forming a connection other people don’t -- can’t -- truly understand, and to some extent of divides between urban and rural and modern and traditional that I think could play out in any country with just the local symbolism tweaked.  The significance and content of Shinto beliefs and practices depicted, particularly kuchikamizake, are made pretty explicit, so although foreign to the vast majority of the non-Japanese audience, I feel like this movie also has nearly no barrier to entry for people not familiar with the cultural context, so I don’t want to rate it very high on this scale.

Ass: Look.  It involves teenagers switching bodies.  What do you think they do?  Especially Taki?  But it’s played for laughs, not titillation.

Shit: This movie is beautiful and punched me in the feels and was very satisfying.  The closest I have to a complaint about any aspect of it is that the musical breaks that I guess are supposed to mark acts of the movie almost make it feel like binge-watching a short series instead of watching a single self-contained movie.

[iyeolie]

kdrama recs!

although i already have a tag for my favorite asian dramas in general (check out here if you want) i wanted to make a post dedicated to the dramas i’ve watched that hit differently.... i’ll explain

these dramas aren’t necessarily my fave of all time or at the very top of my fave list, but i did enjoy all of them a lot. the dramas on this list are the ones i enjoyed from start to finish, every episode, practically every scene. the ones i did not want to end. they were easy to watch and the struggle to not click “next episode” was real. so if you’ve got nothing else to do maybe check one or two out!

          ‣  goblin

starring : gong yoo, kim go eun, lee dong wook, yoo in na, yook sungjae

plot : kim shin is turned into a goblin tasked with protecting certain people from the life of misery. the only way to end his immortal life is to find his bride that can set him free of his sword. kim shin accidentally becomes roommates with a grim reaper, wang yeo, and as natural enemies the two clash. ji eun tak is a high school student who is able to communicate with the dead. she gets involved with the goblin and grim reaper. could she be the goblin’s bride who holds the power to release him from his eternal misery and set his soul free?

thoughts : this is my number one (1) fave kdrama and drama over all! it has everything: unique plot, interesting characters, humor, drama, fantasy elements... this is the drama i’ll always recommend to anyone and everyone. there’s not a dull moment and there is always something that grabs your attention. the depth to each character is crazy and how they all connect is insane. you grow close to them all and end up routing for them with all your heart. couldn’t recommend it enough.

          ‣  high-end crush

starring : jung il woo, jin se yeon, yoon bora, lee si eon

plot : choi se hoon is the ceo of an entertainment company and knows his stuff well. he is very arrogant and doesn’t take no for an answer. yoo yi ryeong lives alone on a mountain and doesn’t have any desire for money and fame. the two cross paths and se hoon ends up offering yi ryeong a contract from his company, she rejects him. the determined businessman won’t give up on her and ends up developing feelings along the way. can two people from different worlds come together?

thoughts : the fact that i almost didn’t watch this drama will haunt me forever. i’m sO happY that i gave it a go. i expected nothing but ended up with so much. this mini drama made me laugh and cry, and took me on a hell of a ride. the story between the couple is hilariously sweet and melts my heart. jung il woo stole my heart with this drama, he did an excellent job as the lead and his character made the drama what it is. if you have 5 hours to spare i highly recommend this one, enjoyed every second.

          ‣  hospital ship

starring : ha ji won, kang min hyuk, lee seo won, kwon min ah

plot : song eun jae is a capable surgeon at a large hospital in seoul. due to circumstances she ends up quitting her job and boards a hospital ship that provides medical care for locals in rural villages. on board are army doctors who have unwillingly been assigned their posts, except for kwak hyun, who volunteered. although eun jae has a cold personality, she is perfectionist and very skilled. with her on board, the hospital ship is able to admit patients and help with the most critical medical problems, all while out at sea.

thoughts : honestly i didn’t have any expectations going into this one, but i was pleasantly surprised. all the different characters clashed together and made the story very interesting, everyone came together and became an unexpected family. all the cases they dealt with were just insaane and made the drama so entertaining to watch! they always had the odds against them but somehow made in through them. very addicting.

          ‣  extraordinary you

starring : kim hye yoon, rowoon, lee jae wook, lee naeun, kim young dae

plot : eun dan oh is a student at a prestigious academy. one day she discovers that the world she’s living in is a fantasy world of comics, and she isn’t even the main character! she is only an extra and the writer has set her up with a lame story line that she doesn’t want to follow. dan oh realizes she is one of the few characters that are aware and tries to change the story to free herself from the writer’s grip. she meets a nameless student, number 13, who dan oh thinks can be the key. they work together to try and change their fates, but this comes with a price to pay.

thoughts : this drama was almost impossible not to watch one episode right after another! suuch a cool plot and it was hard to try and predict what was going to happen next. the drama kept its secrets very well and dragged it out, making you as a viewer really miserable wanting to know more, but this is what made it so good. things uncovered slowly but surely and you changed your mind about things over and over. big brain energy on this one!

          ‣  cinderella and four knights

starring : jung il woo, park so dam, ahn jae hyun, lee jung shin, son naeun

plot : eun ha won feels alone in the world and has poor contact with her father and stepmother. she lives a hard life trying to find ways to pay for her education. she gets involved with the three famous and rich cousins : kang ji woon ; a rebel-minded loner, kang hyun min ; a playboy money machine and kang seo woo, a sweet singer-songwriter. because of ha won’s non-nonsense personality, the cousins grandfather thinks she’s the perfect person to discipline his spoiled grandsons to get along with each other. however in the process ha won finds herself in the middle of a quadrangle love story.

thoughts : man, honestly this drama is THE reason why i’m even making this list. i was hooked from the start and STAYED hooked the entire drama. park so dam being the queen she is played her character so fantastically, i love how powerful and confident her character is. how different the cousins personalities were made it hilariously interesting to watch. i myself fell in love with each guy and had the hardest time picking who to root for! second and third lead syndrome is real. this is the one drama that i can honestly say i did not want to end, i’d watch this forever if i could lmfao

          ‣  falling for innocence

starring : jung kyung ho, kim so yeon, yoon hyun min

plot : kang min ho is a cold-blooded corporate raider who treats his workers and people ruthlessly. he is self-defensive and a suspicious sociopath, but he suffers from heart problems and is expected to die in the near future. unless he gets a heart transplant from a suitable donor, he is done for. kim soon jung’s fiancé gets into a car “accident” which ends in fatality. luckily for min ho, the fiancé is a match and min ho gets another shot at life. after the heart transplant, min ho starts to notice changes in his behavior : a rare result of heart transplants. he ends up falling for soon jung and she teaches him the meaning of true happiness and what love is. are his feelings really his, or the memories from the previous owner of his heart?

thoughts : i thought this drama wasn’t gonna be anything out of the ordinary going into it, but i was wrong. the character development the main character went through is one of the best ones i’ve seen and very inspiring at that. how he went from night to day because of his transplant was really something to witness. jung kyung ho killed it obviously and made his character believable. seeing how the characters deal with the situation made me not being able to stop watching.

          ‣  one spring night

starring : jung hae in, han ji min, kim jun han, joo min kyung, lim sung eon

plot : lee jeong in decides to prioritize happiness in her life. she has a long time boyfriend who wants to marry her but she’s not so sure what she feels. to treat her hangover one spring night, she goes to the pharmacy. yoo ji ho is the pharmacist who ends up helping her. ji ho is a single dad and unsure whether a woman could want a man like him. he however immediately becomes interested in jeong in and does whatever he can to meet her in person. the two fall in love despite their situations. the two however now have to deal with the obstacles that family, friends and society sets for them.

thoughts : this drama is like a warm safety blanket for me. i started it on a whim, skimming through netflix just wanting to watch something before bed. i ended up clicking on this and booy am i happy i did. it’s a nicely slow-paced, sweet and romantic love story which touches your heart in the best way. the whole vibe of the drama is just... i don’t know how to describe it’s just... chill?? and nice?? and comfortable?? it was my night time drama before bed, so i have nice memories from watching it. loved their love story. also a+++ for the osts!!!

         ‣  madame antoine : the love therapist

starring : sung joon, han ye seul, jeong jinwoon, hwang seung un, lee joo hyung

plot : go hye rim is a famous fortune-teller known as “madame antoine” and insist she is spiritually connected to the late french queen marie antoinette. choi soo hyun is a highly awarded therapist specialising in women’s psychology. coincidentally, his psychological treatment center is also called “madame antoine”. soo hyun develops an experiment with the hypothesis that love does not exist. he tricks hye rim into participating in the experiment to study her behavior when approached by three different men. however, hye rim isn’t told what the experiment is about and doesn’t know that the men’s feelings for her are fake, or are they?

thoughts : a fortune teller and therapist love story?? sign me the f up!!! i loved seeing these two bicker every other second but overcoming their differences to be with each other. this couple is really what they mean by “you’re hot then you’re cold”, it was on, off, on, off all the time, but i also couldn’t be mad at it. the drama was easy to watch and i couldn’t not click the next episode. all characters were extremely likeable and made me wanna be friends with them too rip. after finishing this one i kinda wanna learn some psychology tricks..... they were both really cool ><

[alexeiadrae]

Strange Things About the Monarchy in the Slayersverse

I think the big thing that jumps out at me is how unconcerned the monarchs in the Slayersverse are to producing more children, when producing as many children as possible has traditionally been one of the big goals for most monarchs. Especially in an age where infant and child mortality was high even for the wealthy (Queen Anne of England had 17 pregnancies, 12 of them stillbirths, and of the ones that survived, only one lived to be older than 2, and he died in childhood, so she had 17 pregnancies and no heirs that were biological children).

Royal women tended to marry in their teens and were expected to start producing children. If a spouse died, it was expected that the surviving spouse would remarry to further diplomacy and produce more heirs. Yet in the Slayersverse, this does not seem to be as much of a preoccupation. A. Naga is in her 20s, unmarried, and if she is betrothed, it is never mentioned (keep in mind, it was not uncommon to arrange engagements between monarchs in infancy, though often those deals fell apart during the passage of time. Mary Queen of Scots was engaged when she was 6 months old to Edward VI of England, but when that fell through, she was sent to France at the age of 5 to live with her new fiance's family and get used to the ways of the French court. Naturally, she did not marry him at the age of 5, she was 16 when that happened). B. Similarly, Amelia is not married and there is no mention on an engagement, even though she is at least 17 by Revo/Evo. C. The number of children among the royals is small. Naga and Amelia's age gap is rather large, especially considering a royal woman would not nurse her children (Anne Boleyn tried. Henry VIII said no. She didn't press the issue, thus ensuring her head remained attached to her neck for a few more years). Alfred appears to be the only child of Christopher. If Randy has children they are never mentioned. Likely the reason is because HK didn't want to bog the story down with too many characters. Still, looking at other royal families, Martina appears to be an only child, and I can't think of any royal family depicted in the series where there are numerous children. They could be there, but they are absent. D. That Prince Phil never remarried is strange. Given he is set to inherit the throne and given that HK has said that women can't inherit the throne in Saillune (though there appears to be some debate on this), he would be under a lot of pressure to re-marry and father more kids. Though hopefully he wouldn't go all Henry VIII about it. Christopher, also, for all intents and purposes appears to be a widower (either that or women in Saillune really stay out of official business, though Amelia would seem to contradict this). And Martina's father has also never appeared with a queen. Once again, the more likely reason is not to muddy the story with too many characters. Potential Fanon Explanation (not sure how much weight I give any of these): -Perhaps, because of religious or cultural taboos, remarriage after the death of a spouse is forbidden in the Slayersverse, and that extends to the monarchy. -Prince Phil's renowned ugliness means that it is very difficult to find someone who would marry him. OK, seriously, after working for several years with meth addicts who smelled like rotten shrimp and whose teeth were rotting out of their gums and it was physically painful for me to look at them because my teeth would start to ache in response (damn empathy), whose skin was grey, scabbed, and who knows what else, yet they still were pregnant/recently fathered children/sexually active, I've come to believe that there is no level of ugly that someone won't fuck. So the good news for Phil is that if he wants to embark on marriage again, someone somewhere would have him. -Infant and child mortality could be low because of sorcery and may be comparable to what we see in our modern times, especially in a place like Saillune. This would be why there isn't a lot of focus on breeding like rabbits. As Louis VII of France discovered, having a plethora of male heirs reach adulthood becomes a curse as they start to bicker over who gets what and start wars with each other, so they may deliberately limit family size. -At the same time, a high infant/child mortality could also explain why there aren't a lot of royal children. Many don't survive. The problem with this one, though, is that it would make no sense to let the surviving royal children gallivant across the continent without bodyguards and the like. On this note we go into... Privacy! Privacy was damn hard to come upon for royals! In England, they even had an official Groom of the Stool, no, not the type of stool you step on to reach the china you put out of the kids reach, I'm talking excrement stool, basically, this person's job was to assist the king as he took a shit and examine the contents to make sure the king was healthy. And you thought your job sucked! But it was actually a coveted post because you had the kings confidence and trust. For the king of England, though, not even bowel movements were private. Many royals never even slept alone, and this isn't even in the sexual sense. Royal women shared their beds with other noble women, and it was a great honor for a woman to be asked to sleep with the queen. This did happen with the men, though not to the extent it did with the women, but people would not have concluded that a prince who shared a bed with another man was engaging in anything sexual. Sleeping alone is a rather modern invention. Royals were surrounded by people morning, noon and night. Royal women had a group of ladies in waiting to attend them. Men similarly were surrounded by people. So the lack of other nobles surrounding Amelia, Phil, Naga, etc, is strange. That Naga in particular would travel without a companion is strange (you could argue that as Amelia always traveled with other members the Slayers group, with the exception of the one time she went to find Phil, that she had people with her even if they weren't nobles). Possible Fanon Explanations: -It's hard to say, but it's possible that the royal courts in the Slayersverse are at an early stage of evolution, before the varied and strange jobs involving stool collection could be invented. So perhaps they did have privacy in the bathroom at least, and perhaps the role of the ladies in waiting to constantly attend to a royal woman, had not been firmly established yet. I'd briefly created a lady in waiting for Naga but ended up writing her out. Amelia never mentions one, is never seen with one, and given that in the novels we meet her at the Saillune court, if it was expected for the princesses to be attended by one then we should have seen her then. -This one is rather cynical, but a kingdom that grants its royal daughters so much freedom is also at odds with one that would not let them inherit power, though perhaps there is a sinister purpose...them dying in a heroic adventure on the road and paving the way for the next male heir. In the novels, though, Phil does take an active role in trying to keep Amelia out of the action (at one point picking her up and telling her that the battle scene is no place for a little girl), YET he lets her travel with Lina and Gourry under dangerous circumstances. Perhaps the tradition of women traveling on their own for a bit was created for that purpose (though the reasons why were lost to history), and since it's a tradition Phil feels he has to honor it even if he doesn't like it, and the royal daughters, heady with teenage rebellion and itching to get away from court and stretch their wings and, being teenagers, convinced of their invincibility would riot if it was done away with. On a related note, one question I've seen different people take different approaches to is the question of whether or not marriages are arranged. Given that Naga and Amelia do have so much freedom to travel without being under the watchful eye of the court, that tends to confer a degree of sexual freedom to meet potential partners, fall in love, etc, that would wreck problems with the whole arranged marriage thing. At the same time, social pressure can be enough, given as I went to high school with a significant percentage of people who had immigrated from India, and a few (though not the majority) of them had been betrothed in high school and were still expected to travel to go to college and stuff, but they also accepted the arranged marriage because of family pressure. That said, I like the idea of princesses who get to go out and have fun rather than live their lives in a gilded cage at the mercy of their sovereign (and Catherine of Aragon's story drastically shows how those fortunes can rise and fall precipitously, particularly if you had the bad luck to be married to a sociopath). I like that Amelia addressed Phil as "daddy" rather than "My Supreme and Illustrious and Royal Father and King" or whatever (not that royal fathers didn't love their children and their children didn't love them). It may not make much logical sense, but it makes for a good story.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 11/13/17

Anne Happy, Vol. 7 | By Cotoji | Yen Press – It’s sports festival time, and out heroines are doing their best to at least survive the events, though in Botan’s case that may be difficult. The volume consists of what you’d expect—everyone’s quirk is in full force, the Unlucky Class ends up very very far behind in the rankings, mostly as they’re up against a sports class that compete in national events. Sayama continues to attempt to get over her terminal shyness, and makes small strides. Small strides is in fact the point of this series, as the class in general is doing OK but not well enough to make it in the world. This may become more important later on. In the meantime, Anne Happy is unassuming and cute, with minimal ambition. If you enjoy cute girls falling over, you’ll like it. – Sean Gaffney

Black Clover, Vol. 9 | By Yuki Tabata | Viz Media – We wrap up the Battle with the Midnight Sun here, and our heroes spend some significant time recovering—though for Asta, that time may end up being far longer than he’d really like. We also end up seeing Yuno again. Remember Yuno? Asta’s rival who we saw at the very start of the series? He’s back, and of course is ridiculously strong. The rivalry between him and Asta has ridiculous amounts of BL tease, because this is a Jump manga, but I’m fine with that. There was also a nice non-reveal with a masked captain of Yuno’s unit, who turned out to be masked for different reasons than we’d thought. In any case, new arc should start soon, as we try to figure out how to heal permanent damage. – Sean Gaffney

Demon King Daimaou, Vol. 3 | By Shoutaro Mizuki and Souichi Itou | J-Novel Club – There is one reason that the jaded light-novel fan should give this book a try, and that’s the appearance of the villain, Mister X, who is over the top crazy and in his desire for villainy and despair that is “Art!” reminds me of nothing less than an evil Great Gonzo. Other than that, it’s situations normal at Daimaou, Inc. We get a bit more depth for Hiroshi, Akuto’s fanboy, but it doesn’t really work nearly as well for me, as the characterization feels off from the prior two books. And there are the heroines, with Korone getting a nice fakeout “I am going back to be executed” moment, Keena being Akuto’s conscience, and Junko being, well, Junko. Daimaou is a perfect buy for those who have to buy everything. – Sean Gaffney

Dreamin’ Sun, Vol. 4 | By Ichigo Takano | Seven Seas – This was a super shoujo-riffic volume of manga, even though there are some funny bits too (particularly the bonus comic). Shimana encourages Zen’s brother, Ken, not to give up on his boxing ambitions, and in gratitude he shows her Fujiwara’s high school yearbook, which only brings up more questions. In between, there are Christmas presents and bittersweet longing and earnest conversations about dreams. Also, there are at least three and probably more scenes that involve Shimana tearfully running away from a conversation and slamming a door. It’s repetitive, yes, but at least she doesn’t ever spend very long in a sulk. I enjoy Asahi stirring the pot and Zen being a good, sweet friend, but I’m not sure I want Shimana and Fujiwara to get together. He’s right—she is still a kid. Maybe Zen will win her over in the end with his panda wiles. – Michelle Smith

The Girl From the Other Side: Siúil, a Rún, Vol. 3 | By Nagabe | Seven Seas – The beginning of this volume is super tense! Shiva’s aunt has come for her, accompanied by several of the soldiers that only recently were trying to kill her, and Teacher does his best to rescue her, to no avail. One particularly impactful page-turn, revealing Teacher struck by many arrows, made me realize that because this series is so unique, there’s no variations-on-a-theme template to rely upon and, as a result, I really believed Teacher could actually die. He doesn’t, but what happens when Shiva gets back to the village is dramatic enough, along with a cliffhanger about her real origins. The art continues to be a delight, as well—I particularly love the panels that emphasize Shiva’s smallness and the nonverbal depiction of Teacher’s devastation after she’s gone. Now to manage the four-month wait for volume four! – Michelle Smith

Girls’ Last Tour, Vol. 3 | By Tsukumizu| Yen Press – The odd finally manages to win out over the cute for this volume of Girls’ Last Tour, though that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We see again and again how depressingly apocalyptic this world the girls are traveling through is, and on more than one occasional it almost leads to their horrible deaths. They also meet someone in the final section, though this is a robot rather than a human—but the essential story beats remain the same. And there’s even some fanservice for anyone interested. I’ve said before that this reminds me of Strawberry Marshmallow, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was Miu’s bizarre self-insert fic with her and Chika—though I suspect it’d earn her a smack or two. Oddly compelling. – Sean Gaffney

Kuma Miko: Girl Meets Bear, Vol. 6 | By Masume Yoshimoto | One Peace Books – Well, I did ask for more of the bear, and I certainly get that here. Unfortunately, I also get another bear, who’s painted as the obsessed female stalker of our main bear. The humor that follows, showing a tsundere bear trying to be seductive (and failing), only works about one third of the time. It doesn’t help that the series already has a tsundere, Hibiki, and we get an amusing chapter devoted to imagining what might make her actually confess. Honestly, though, the highlight was the final chapter, where the bear tries to get Machi to take a train as part of his “make her a functioning adult” plan. It doesn’t work—she gets on the wrong train, and is now at the ocean. Will she die? Probably not. – Sean Gaffney

Murcielago, Vol. 4 | By Yoshimurakana | Yen Press – This series continues to play to a very limited audience, the sort who likes lesbians and likes sociopaths, and REALLY likes the combination of the two. If that pleases you, this volume will too, though be warned another sympathetic cutie is butchered horribly. As for Kuroko, she’s actually out of commission for part of this, having been brainwashed by the head villainess of the book. Fortunately, we needed some more characterization for Chiyo, Kuroko’s yakuza girlfriend who’s in a state of constant rage from, well, dealing with Kuroko’s tendency to bed anyone female. Spoiler: she’s badass. As for Rinko, the child killer from last time… well, I don’t want to spoil it. Suffice to say I laughed, but it was rueful. Murcielago is hilarious and you will feel bad. – Sean Gaffney

My Monster Secret, Vol. 8 | By Eiji Masuda | Seven Seas – I suspect it’s going to be harder and harder to drag out the “we’re not really dating” card after the ending of this volume. Which is fine, as I will freely admit that the relationship between Asahi and Youko is one of the two best reasons to read this book. The other is the humor, and there’s plenty of that on display as well, as we see angel feathers that make people act out the Seven Sins; Koumoto-sensei celebrating another birthday of being a single woman, as no one will let her forget; and Nagisa getting turned big (as opposed to being in her alien suit) in order to once again fire up the love triangle. There’s stuff that doesn’t work (anything with Shimada), but this series still has more hits than misses. – Sean Gaffney

Requiem of the Rose King, Vol. 7 | By Aya Kanno | VIZ Media – Wow. And also “holy crap.” I’m going to completely forego any spoilers this time, because the surprises in this volume need to be experienced as they come. Suffice it to say that Richard does not handle the revelation about Henry’s true identity well, and Henry doesn’t handle captivity and his lusty feelings for Richard well, either. All of these sad, broken people being crushed by… well… the game of thrones. Although a smidge of me still dares to hope Richard will find happiness by the end of the series, the ending of this volume suggests otherwise. I actually had to look up whether the series was concluding in the next volume, though that doesn’t appear to be the case. I should have known better than to choose something else for pick of the week, even if it was my beloved Chihayafuru! – Michelle Smith

Toriko, Vol. 40 | By Mitsutoshi Shimabukuro | Viz Media – Still counting down towards the end of this series. At least Toriko gets to add another item to his menu, meaning he only has two to go. But unfortunately, this one is more about the ridiculous fights than the ridiculous food, and whenever that happens it’s never good news. The author is better at food porn. He’s also better at ho yay, as the reunion of Toriko and Komatsu is loaded with an absolute ridiculous amount of subtext—I would not blame readers for forgetting Rin exists. As for the evil plot, it creeps incrementally forward, leading to a cliffhanger as Toriko and company finally challenge God. I’m finishing the series as I’ve already read 40 volumes, but it’s only for the hardcore now. – Sean Gaffney

By: Michelle Smith

[theloniuswomb-blog]

Spiderman: Homecoming Can Suck My Fucking Dick.

Holy Shit. Where do I even start with this film? I wanted to like it a lot. I was intrigued by the casting of Tom Holland as Spider Man. He came off well in the Marvel Civil War movie, I remember thinking to myself; “Hey! His part was funny! Just the right amount of awkward, slash, comical that I instantly recognize as Spider Man. Awesome!” Now, I usually have doubts about any superhero adaption since the hit to miss ratio is all over the place, but this I thought could work quite nicely.  I saw the trailer, and like the little whore that I am, it got me wet. Wet hot with sexual anticipation. The CGI looked impressive. The action sequences looked crisp and innovative, the tone of the shots were dark and brooding. I expected drama, emotion and a plot-line that, although may not be the most original, could perhaps come through with some good acting and a tight script; with some inspired direction thrown in for good measure. This was the package I was creating for myself in my brain. My golden goose's egg.  And, much like Verruca Salt, I made a big song and dance about it to everyone, throwing glitter and sheets of colored plastic all over the room. But also like Verruca Salt, I also got hit with the trap door. A trap door that golden eggs get shat down, and so do we, right along with em; to burn for all eternity while Gene Wilder laughs at our scorched bodies.  First off, let's start with the tone of the movie. It doesn't have one. It has no idea what kind of movie it wants to be. It's got this light hearted vibe when Spidey is around that feels completely alien to the murky goings on of the Vulture. You get scenes where Peter Parker is walking through the school, drooling over hot girls in the most forced and gormless way. (SPOILER: Most of the film is of Tom Holland looking gormless at everyone around him.) Juxtaposed with Michael Keaton straight up killing people in the most nonchalant way possible. It's kind of infuriating, it was like there were two movies going on in tandem and neither of them had any particular relevance to the other. I must say, Michael Keaton gave a fairly decent performance, but he could have been used so much better. I saw Birdman recently (something I couldn't ignore as a massive, quite probably intended irony of Keaton's career) and I was impressed. I had problems with that film too (But I'll leave that for another review) but overall the acting was really fucking solid. Like I say, I was impressed. But obviously, good acting doesn't matter anymore for films like this. I honestly thought the newer incarnations of Batman would have taught a lesson to the makers of these kinds of movies. But obviously not.  Let's get to Peter. Peter is the most insufferable character ever. He's meant to be very smart, yet doesn't use his brain once. Not only does he not use his brain to problem solve, but he doesn't use it for introspection at all. The amount of times he puts other people's lives at risk in this movie is astounding. If this feature of the plot was used as a tool to move Peter's character forward as he matures into a new and exciting world, I can forgive this whole problem. In fact, that's kind of what I wanted to see. Progression. But it never comes. Spider Man sees bad guys robbing the bank. He attacks, not even stopping when he realizes they have incredibly powerful weapons. He carries on and ends up blowing up a deli over the street of a man that earlier in the movie is established, that he knows. Not once does he show any remorse for this horrible incident. He ruined a man's career, livelihood, and potentially could have killed him if he happened to live above the shop.

In another instance, Parker sees bad guys driving; he attacks them on the highway where loads of other people could die from all the high tech weapons going off at high speeds. He knew the types of weapons they had but did it anyway. He could have followed them to their destination, found out where the base was, who was involved in the organization and work out a plan. He could even find out the buyers if he cased them for a few weeks. But this thought never crosses Peters mind. It's just attack all problems in the face until they die. I mean fuck, this is a whiz kid of physics and science, some of the most logical shit ever. Yet he can't even think up a simple fucking plan to take on his enemies? Honestly, it's so hard to relate to Peter in this movie. You'd have to be some kind of autistic sociopath in order to find him tolerable. After a while Tony Stark comes along. Fuck me, Robert Downey Jr. couldn't give one flying fuck about this movie. And it showed like hell. His whole character in the film was just him playing himself not caring in various tropical places. I honestly believe Tony Stark represented how little of a fuck the writers and director cared about this film. He was a direct mouthpiece for the writers of the movie to say “fuck you” to the audience. Honestly, every time Parker fucked up, Tony would say “Oi, Parker, stop fuckin around!” but never explains why. He never says “Hey, you could have killed people back there! Are you insane?” instead he half asses his reasons and when Parker questions him on it he just says “because I said so.” Like fuck, you'd think after the first time Spidey fucks up, that's the time to sit down and talk. Jesus Christ should you even wait for a first-time-fuck-up in this scenario? Tony Stark, one of the smartest men alive, waits for Spidey to fuck up three times, THREE TIMES, with the third seeing spider man nearly sinking a whole ship of people due to his negligence. Hundreds would have died. It's incredible.

So, Iron Man finally gives some punishment after this. He takes away Parkers new shiny Stark Spidey Suit, to which Parker says “I'm nothing without that suit!” to which Stark replies; “if you're nothing without this suit, you don't deserve it.” or something to that effect. Instead of Peter having a moment of clarity and saying “fuck, people nearly died, I nearly died. Maybe I need to switch up my game and show Iron Man I'm more mature than this. Show I can use some strategy and grow into this role I'm destined to have and finally use my genius brain to devise a plan.” Nope. That's wishful thinking partner and you can get shot around here for that kinda talk.  Instead what we get is Parker learning nothing, and him creating some kind of device that allows him to go out and fuck up even faster and directly than before. They use some kind of tracker map to find the Vulture, who is breaking into an airplane full of Stark weapons. An Iron Suit included. Now, what the actual fuck? I don't know if the Vulture knows this, but Iron Man can remotely control his suits. If one were stolen, you can bet your bottom dollar he'd activate it and cane your operation into next week. But the Vulture MUST have known that, since he remotely controlled his own mechanical wings to try and kill Parker earlier in the movie. So what in the actual fuck is this man doing? He's inviting Iron Man into his lair. Willingly. It's the most stupid thing ever. It also gives so little motivation for Parker to do anything about the situation. Once he realizes it's Stark tech, he should have left. Because Parker also knows Iron Man remotely controls his suits, there's a whole scene that points this out near the beginning of the film for fuck's sake. The Vulture would have been a goner immediately upon the knowledge of the hijacking. It's easily the most retarded part of the film.   So Spidey decides to go all-in despite knowing Iron Man could easily kill this guy remotely and nearly ends up causing this plane to crash all over the city, no doubt killing thousands of people. In fact, an engine falls out while they're fighting on the plane's wings. Parker shows no regard for that at all. No remorse for the people that no doubt were killed by the falling debris. Fortunately, Spidey manages to use his webs to bend the out-of-control plane wing and steer them to safety. (Well, he crashes the plane into a sandbank.) He takes down the Vulture and leaves him tangled at the scene old school Spidey style, with a note to boot. Wow. How amazing. And he did it all without his shiny suit! He overcame so many obstacles and shortcomings, we really went on a journey there with old Petey boy there. Oh wait, that was the film I was daydreaming about while I was being shat on by this movie. Upon Stark learning of this situation, he instantly has Spider Man brought to the new headquarters of the Avengers, where he was about to announce Spider Man as a new, key member, along with an even better shiny suit. Like, what? Seriously? This kid needs a dressing down, not a new three piece. But it doesn't come. All we get is Parker declining the offer, you get a mild sense that he realizes that he's in over his head, and maybe this is all a bit much for him. But it's not really expressed very well. It all feels so odd and disjointed. I mean here we have Iron Man, the guy who cared about people dying from collateral damage in Civil War; who hunted down the Winter Soldier because he was a danger to the public, (who also for some reason killed Tony's parents,) caused a rift with the current most powerful heroes and his teammates, as he also wanted them to register their identities to an official data base to help reign them in and hold them accountable. Yet for some reason Tony couldn't give the time of day to say “Hey kid, tone it down you're getting crazy out there.”  I'll stop ragging on the film soon, but before I do, I want to mention the love interest. This was one of the most wooden romances I've ever seen. No chemistry. She was called Lizzy. It turns out Mary Jane is the other sarcastic girl who makes the closest things to jokes in the movie. Which I liked, but they didn't do nearly enough with. Again, there was an opportunity for him to grow with this character, have his attention turned to MJ, have him realize this Lizzy girl was a bit vacuous and boring, while this other girl was interesting and fun. But again it didn't happen. Instead, Lizzy moves away because of plot reasons that I won't give away, and MJ is merely hinted at as the new romance for the next film. Which is fucking boring. Honestly, it's so dull. I hated all the romance scenes. I wanted to like them, I mean shit, the girl was so hot. They even get an ass shot of her in her bikini. I was like “wow these are meant to be 15-year-old kids, what are they thinking? Isn’t this inappropriate for a kids movie?” (They are not 15-year-old kids, just to clarify. But for the plot, they were). They could have used this screen time to have Peter reflecting on his Uncle Ben, or bonding with his Aunty. Who, in my opinion, should have been told about the Spider Man thing. I think her knowing earlier in the film would have been a good dynamic to use. He should have told her right away after his first fuck up. I know it might deviate from traditional Spider Man lore, but as a film, it would've been a much more interesting watch. Aunt May is such a central figure to the Spider Man universe, as is the Uncle Ben storyline, but neither are given any sort of focus. Overall this film is garbage. In true Warski style, it was Garbage. Full on trash. I hated Guardians of the Galaxy less, and that's saying something. That is really saying something. Because that movie was awful. For Spider Man I have to say: the overall plot was good, but there were so many missed opportunities that it became more like a midlife crisis by the end. The choices to make for this story seemed so obvious, it was almost like they were purposefully not taking the logical steps in the narrative in order to make this movie as painful as possible. (Because the razor wire they'd jammed way up in your ass, to the tune of £13.50 for 3D, just wasn't quite painful enough.) Fuck this movie, nobody should see it, I hope it fucking bombs in the box office. Which it won't because, like the little whores that we are, we're all just gonna fan-boy for Spidey like we always do. I honestly regret spending money on this. Don't even buy the DVD, it's not worth it.

Before I go I need to mention something else; humor. Peter was not funny. He had moments of fun, sure. But he was not funny. Peter Parker is witty. He is known for wit, not fun. Again, this could have been used as a plot device to show his coping mechanism for dealing with such raw shit all the time. He exudes wit and comedy in the face of danger, then behind closed doors doubts himself. Like fuck, is a 15-16 year old really meant to be doing this shit? Getting involved in weapon trafficking and the criminal world after his Uncle Ben being shot and killed? As an aside, thank god they didn't make us re-live Uncle Ben's death. I was glad they kept that as a past event that we didn't need to see. One of the few good touches of the film. You could say it was like wiping just a bit of shit off your arse with your finger. There's not quite as much shit there anymore, but now it's on your finger, so. There you go.  So, what's my ultra biased and not subjective at all, star rating for this film? 1.5 out of 5. Some action was good, the 3D sucked, the acting sucked, the writing sucked, the CGI was good, Michael Keaton was good, everyone else didn't give a shit and ultimately it showed. Don't see this film. Boycott it harder than Isreal.

[loxare]

Harm

Chapter 4 -  Alice in High Definition and an Aside

Sniping was a waiting game. And while he waited, he was texting a contractor. Normally, meeting with contractors was a face to face thing, but in Bludhaven, a reclusive property owner could get anything he wanted, for the right price. Of course, he had also hired overseers, people to ensure the contractor didn't do a mediocre job and pocket the profits.

His target, one Johnny Grey, wasn't a drug lord or murderer or any of his usual targets. No, he was just an animal smuggler. He smuggled cats and dogs across the border, surgically implanted with certain chemicals that, when combined, formed compounds explosive enough to take out a major shopping center.

Fortunately, Grey was incredibly suspicious of his underlings, something Red Hood had been working on for a few months. As such, no one but Grey knew the names of the buyers, or who was stuffing small animals full of volatile chemicals. The entire organization literally relied on Grey to continue breathing. Unfortunately, he was about to disappoint a whole lot of people.

But first he had to show up. There was an exchange tonight, Grey paying off a harbormaster to maybe not look too closely at the animals the next ship was bringing in, and Red Hood had gotten here a whole hour early.

He checked his watch. Ten minutes. Ten minutes to kill and the contractor hadn't texted him back yet, so he had nothing to do. Without his permission, his mind started wandering back to his confrontation with Nightwing.

Pulling out his rifle, he started prepping it. “Who does he think he is?” The action opened with a click and he took a look down the barrel to make sure nothing was in it. “Family? Yeah right.” The magazine went in and the action closed with another series of clicks. “Why can't they all just leave me alone?” He laid down on the rooftop, lining up his sights. Red Hood sighed. He was going after a stuffed animal smuggler. Dangerous stuffed animals, but still. Not much choice though; all of the worst crooks were either fled or dead. Pretty soon, he would have no job.

By the time Grey and his posse showed up, he was very much ready to shoot some people. And he did. “Screw you Grayson.” Headshot. “I hope you get scurvy.” Knee, then headshot. “Get scurvy and all your perfect little teeth can fall out.” Knee, knee, elbow, shoulder, lung. “Fucking Nightwing.”

“Momma says that's a bad word and if I say it, she'll wash out my mouth.”

Immediately, Jason's rifle pointed straight up into the air. He rolled into a sitting position, staring at the little girl behind him. “And she's absolutely right. Swearing is a bad habit. Use big words, so whoever you're mad at feels like an idiot.”

She was about six, and wearing bunny pajamas. “Really? That works?”

“Yup.” Jason walked away from the edge of the roof and started putting his rifle away. She turned so she could keep facing him and, thankfully, not facing the horror show on the docks. “Plus stuff like malodorous dunce is just fun to say. What's your name?” He pulled off his helmet and started stashing his rifle.

“Alice. And Tammy said you ask if we need help, but I don't. I just wanted to say hi.” She rocked back on her heels and smiled at him, the tiny kid's purse at her side smacking into her thigh.

Jason smiled. Magazine out and away, eject round from chamber. “Hi Alice. Come on, let's get you home, before the angry men down there call for help.”

Alice nodded, holding her arms out in the universal sign for “carry me”. So Jason swung her up onto his shoulders, making sure the rifle slung across his back wasn't poking her, and handed her his helmet to carry.

She lived in an apartment building across the street, one he had considered for sniping on top of, but decided the pigeon wire would get in the way. And also really hurt. He couldn't really swing to her fire escape, not without risking dropping her, so he started climbing down his fire escape. “So Alice, how are you doing in school?”

“Not great. They keep talking about boring stuff like shapes and numbers and I just want to play outside.” She was using his head to balance his helmet on, and she kept turning it. “The thoranist said that I might have attention defo... defin...” She huffed in frustration.

“The therapist said you might have attention deficit disorder?” Jason guessed.

“No, there was another word in there.”

Ah. “Hyperactivity. It might be easier if you just call it ADHD.”

She gave out another frustrated huff. “Why couldn't he just call it that then? That's a lot easier to remember. And hey, what's that thing you said earlier mean?”

“Malodorous dunce? It means stinky dumdum. If you want, I can write it down for you.” They'd reached the bottom of the fire escape, Jason grabbing both of her ankles with one hand so he could climb the ladder. She grabbed his hair so she could hold on better.

Once they were at the bottom and starting across the street, she released his hair and went back to playing with his helmet. “Yes please. I wanna call the therapin that next time I have to go see him. I think he's right because a lot of stuff he said ADHD people have is stuff I have, but he's also a stinky dumdum and I don't like him.”

Jason laughed. “Yeah, people who are right all the time are like that.” Pulling out his grapple, he used it to grab the ladder to her fire escape and bring it down. “Hold on again Alice.”

She did, and they scaled the ladder. “Yeah. And! He said I need pills to focus in class, but then I saw Mom and Dad looking at the bills and being sad. So I don't think we can afford it.” There was a squeaking noise coming from somewhere.

Jason hummed, thinking. “Maybe... ask your Mom or Dad if they'll quiz you when you get home from school. But while they do, play a game. Catch or something. That might help it stick better.” He'd try and see what he could do about their money troubles. Jason had a thing about drugs, understandably, but something like Ritalin could help Alice focus in school, so he'd help out. After he made sure she did have ADHD and it wasn't just some crack shrink who diagnosed every kid because they had energy.

Alice laughed, swinging her legs as much as she was able with him holding her ankles. “That's a good idea Red! Thanks! Oh, and this is my window! Um. I decorated your helmet.”

Confused, Jason set her on the fire escape in front of him and yup. It was decorated alright. There was an empty sticker sheet in her hand, probably one she had kept in her purse. The stickers, a variety of star, butterfly, car, dinosaur and heart ones, were all over his helmet, as well as some drawings of dogs and cats in sharpie. Also, a drawing of Jason's helmet. On his helmet.

“I love it!” Jason said honestly. “But I don't want it to get damaged when I'm working.”

Alice nodded solemnly. “Yeah. This is art and Daddy says that art should be protected.”

“Protected but seen.” Jason added, and she nodded again. “I'll put a picture of it on the website. Sounds good?”

“Yes! Goodnight Red!” He wrote malodorous dunce on the back of her sticker sheet, as well as a few other insults. Then, she climbed in through her window and bounced into her bed. Jason smiled, put on his newly decorated helmet and grappled away.

On the RedKids website, the user Red added another photo to his profile page, for a grand total of two. The first one, uploaded a month ago, was of a cast, covered in names and drawings in a rainbow of permanent marker ink, leaving almost none of the original white visible. The comments on it were of kids claiming them as their own. The second, and newest, was of a shelf, and on the shelf was a interestingly decorated Red Hood  helmet.

When he realized he was chewing on the inside of his cheek, Dick stopped, firmly pressing his teeth together. It was a really bad habit, one that could lead to him biting the inside of his mouth really badly, especially if he was in a fight, but it's one he had never been able to shake. Luckily, it only came up if he was particularly conflicted.

Because Jason was a murderer. And that wasn't ever something he could excuse. But was Dick any better? He had let Tarantula shoot Blockbuster. Then again, not stopping someone from shooting someone else was a lot different than the murder and torture and general bloodbath that Jason was causing in Bludhaven. Wasn't it?

No, it was. And besides, comparing their situations wasn't fair or right. Dick had been emotionally devastated for weeks, months, after the incident. Dick had seen Jason, looked into his eyes, and Jason didn't regret a thing. The kid he had seen as a little brother had died and come back a sociopath.

Maybe Jason was right about one thing though. Dick hadn't seen him as a brother, not when he'd been alive. It had only been regret and melancholy that had him remembering it differently. And guilt. Which was the entire reason he was trying so hard with Tim. Not just because Tim was a great kid, but also because if something happened, he didn't want the survivor to be left with no good memories. Which was a morbid way of thinking, but kind of necessary in his line of work.

Jason had threatened Tim. Tim was safe for now (as safe as one could be on a deep space mission with his team) but as soon as he got back, he'd have to be told that Jason was dangerous. Because he didn't know. Because he'd told Dick that Jason was alive and then blasted off in a rocket with the Teen Titans. Because he had been so excited to meet Jason he would have skipped the mission if it wasn't galaxy-saving.

And Dick was chewing his cheek again.

“Again.” Bruce said in that tone he used when he doesn't want to demand but he's also not asking.

Dick's lip curled into a snarl. He was getting tired of this. “We go over it every time I visit Bruce. Do we have to do it again?” Bruce just leveled a flat stare at him. “Fine! Jason looked older. About the age he would be if he had never died. Massive. Almost as tall as you, with muscles to match.” More muscles than Dick anyways. But Dick tried to keep on the lean side so he could continue his acrobatics. “His gear was as good as it could be without access to our resources. The grapple gun was definitely a few generations down, so he probably built it himself from memory. Didn't see his eyes, he had a domino under his helmet. And he'd dyed some of his hair green and blue and pink.” An odd choice, not one the Jason he'd know would ever make.

Bruce took all that in, changing his report by a word or two. “Anything else?”

“What does it matter?” Dick stood abruptly, his chair crashing to the ground behind him. “Jason is dead, and a serial killer came back in his place! We should just go and take him down before he hurts anyone else!”

Standing slower than Dick had, Bruce saved and minimized the file he had on Jason, revealing the rather large graph in the window behind it. For all they two of them had been working around the clock to figure out a way to arrest him without him spilling their identities, it was a pitifully small file. And while neither of them had ever though their identities would come under threat from someone in the family, they also hadn't thought someone in the family would become what Jason has become. “It matters Dick. You should know more than anyone, the more information you have on someone, the more power you hold over them.”

Dick flinched. Either that was a reminder of his lessons of when he was a Robin, or it was a reminder of what had happened when Blockbuster found out who Nightwing was. “And the more time we sit down here, the more people die. He killed six people in the past two days Bruce. And tomorrow, it could be a dozen, or a hundred, and you would be down here twiddling your thumbs and trying to get information that doesn't exist!” Better to leave now then to let them continue pushing each other's buttons. Better to leave now than after one of them punched the other. With a sharp wave, Dick stalked over to his motorcycle and roared out of the Cave.

Bruce watched Dick leave sadly. He wished things were different. He wanted to be able to have a conversation with his son without one of them stomping off mad or coming to blows. But they had made up before and they would again.

He sat down again and looked at the graph on the screen. Either Dick didn't see it or he chose to ignore it. It was a murders in Bludhaven versus time graph, and if a criminal psychologist saw it they would swoon.

The first few months of data had been gone over so many time that Bruce could probably draw it free hand from memory. It's while Jason is in hospital that things get interesting. A week of nothing, then the murders spike. Overlaid with a violent crime graph and a drug related crime graph, and it's easy to see that the crooks of Bludhaven are running wild. The numbers rival the ones from the first month, the ones Bruce suspected were Jason's alone. But where Jason had tapered off, become much less violent in the months following handing out his cell phone number, the criminals of Bludhaven kept the numbers high.

The night Dick had gone to Bludhaven there was one murder that was confirmed to be Jason's. After that there was chaos. Murder went up drastically, violent and drug related crimes plummeted. Reports naming Red Hood as the shooter skyrocketed, more than there ever had before. But within two weeks, Jason settled down and went back to his pre-hospital numbers. A jump every week or so when he took out a gang, but he didn't kill every member.

Bruce sat with his elbows on the console, fingers laced under his nose, staring at the data. Specifically, the spike. Was Red Hood making up for time lost, killing the criminals who had rampaged in his absence? Or was it because Dick had come to Bludhaven? How stable was Jason? Most non-specific methods of resurrection messed with the mind. Magic either left the resurrected a zombie, slave to the whims of the resurrector, or neglected to revive the soul, leaving the resurrected a fraction of a person.

And he couldn't really think of another way for Jason to have been revived, not without triggering the sensors on his coffin. The only reason they didn't go off was because Jason came back to life inside his coffin and dug his way out. Any sort of tech would have had to have been inside the coffin, either added later (not possible without tripping the alarm) or in the coffin before he was buried. The Lazarus Pit was a possibility, but again, one would need to get Jason out of the coffin to expose him to one. And all other methods of resurrection were specific to the person. Kryptonian birthing matrix, Spectre, escaping Tartarus, caught in an eternal cycle of birth and rebirth, et cetera.

With a huff that was as close as he got to a sigh, Bruce quickly checked the incoming reports from Bludhaven. One murder and sixteen assaults, five of which were critical, were attributed to Red Hood. The crime rate in Bludhaven had once again plummeted to where it had been before Superman decided to take matters into his own hands.

Dick was right in some things. This could never be excused. But Bruce would also never give up on the idea that he could someday bring Jason home. Under twenty-four hour watch and severe restrictions on his activities until he could be trusted again, but home.

For now though, Bruce pulled on his cowl and headed for the car. There was crime in Gotham that had to be stopped, and while Batman would never stoop to Jason's methods, he would also never give up on Gotham either.

AN: Hooray! Some of Dick and Bruce’s thoughts on the matter! 

No news besides that. Read and enjoy! Loxie out~!

[aion-rsa]

Jordan and Moustafa’s Savage Things Makes Murderers Out of Children

When Justin Jordan was a psych major at Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania nearly 20 years ago, the aspiring comic book creator interviewed former FBI special agent John Douglas for a project on serial killers. Douglas was one of the first-ever criminal profilers, and was actually the inspiration for FBI agent Jack Crawford, a major character in the Thomas Harris novels and films “Red Dragon” and “The Silence of the Lambs.”

Ever since the encounter, Jordan has been developing an idea about a covert government organization tasked with kidnapping young children with pre-existing homicidal tendencies and turning them into terrorists or ‘chaos agents’ for fomenting unrest and executing enemies of the state around the world.

Teamed with artist Ibrahim Moustafa, the high concept is now a reality, as Vertigo released “Savage Things” #1 this week.

CBR connected with Jordan and Moustafa to discuss the eight-issue series, and the pair shared important details about how you make a murderer, why we need to rethink the Cain and Abel dynamic and the reason that violent acts are sometimes even more frightening when then happen off-panel.

CBR: “Making a Murderer” was a huge success for Netflix, and “Serial” really captured the zeitgeist, making a podcast a pop culture touchstone for many people. Why are we obsessed with killers — or, I guess, alleged killers?

Justin Jordan: It’s a good question. I think people who are abhorrent fascinate us. There are, I suspect, and this may reveal some sort of incipient sociopathy in me, but I think there are certain situations where we are all like: “Yeah, I wouldn’t kill somebody but I get it.” [Laughs] Someone breaks into your house and you stab him. I get it. But I think with murder, there is a gap at least for me. At some point, they went: “I should just kill this mother fucker.” And that seemed like a reasonable thing to do.

That’s alien to us. It fascinates us the way that most alien stuff does. It is outside of our own experience to the point that it’s hard to even get into that kind of headspace. Even me and my work, which in general hasn’t been non-violent, it is difficult me to understand that level of violence as anything more than an abstract thing. I understand that sorts of processes exist but I can’t make myself think that way. Where if someone falls in love or is having a bad day, you get that. You can understand it. There is inherent empathy for it. But I think it’s the strangeness and alien-ness of killers that interests us. It’s probably not coincidental that psychologists and psychiatrists were called alienists back in the day. That was the term for them. That’s probably echoed in our fascination today for things like “Making a Murderer” and “Serial.”

Ibrahim Moustafa: As humans, one of our most basic instincts is to try evade violence. When we look at something like “Savage Things” where violence is very much this sort of pervasive force that has to be dealt with, I think that really creates some space for some interesting storytelling and some interesting hypothesizing on how would this type of situation be handled, especially when it is a situation that you create yourself in a way. To Justin’s point, I think there is a general interest in the ‘what would I do in this situation’ type of thing too. Even though our main character is a sociopath who is bread to be this killer, we’re still able to follow the story through his lens because we get to see what he does do in this situation.

Let’s talk about these sociopaths who are bred to be killers, which is the central conceit of “Savage Things.” We see the students on their first day in the Black Forest program, the training ground for the killers, and we learn about the homicidal triad, which is cruelty to animals, obsession with fire setting, and persistent bedwetting past a certain age. Did one of you study psychology, or did you research serial killers for this series to learn about these behavioral characteristics?

Jordan: I’m almost 40, I just turned, and that’s relevant because one of the things that inspired this series was years ago, back in the late-’90s, I was able to do a small discussion with John Douglas, who is famously the FBI profiler guy that built the serial crime division and wrote the book, “Mindhunter.” He’s written many books, actually, but “Mindhunter” was the big one. He was actually the basis for one of the main characters in “Silence of the Lambs.” Back when I did that discussion, I was a psych major, so I read all of his books because I was interested in that kind of psychology.

One of the things about having been interested in that for a long time and having looked at it again is that our viewpoint on sociopathy has changed over the years, which makes doing research worthwhile. Especially in the case of this book, since part of it takes place literally 25 years ago. This becomes relevant to the plot as the series goes on. When you think about what these children are and what they can become has changed since that program started and the present day. I felt research was necessary to do that type of thing. I will happily sacrifice realism for drama, but I like to know what I am sacrificing. I will write when a gun clicks on an empty chamber, even though semi-autos don’t naturally do that, if it’s dramatic, but I want know if I am getting stuff wrong. It’s the same thing here. I am willing to play fast and loose with the psychological underpinnings of this series and how the world actually is but I want to know what the world is actually like before I do that. [Laughs]

Ibrahim, can you please talk about your art style for this series? Specifically, how you change what you are doing to differentiate between the two eras.

Moustafa: I almost look at the two different parts not as a different story, but certainly, I need to think about the technology and the equipment of the time. It’s easy to get lost in present day, but I need to think back to the ’90s and remember what a TV looked like back then. In the first couple of pages, we see Abel’s living room, and I had to think about what his parents would be wearing. [Laughs] What does a mom wear in the ’90s? What does a kid wear? That takes a lot of concentration, in terms of drawing stuff from the past.

Fortunately, when we get to the Black Forest site, they are kind of secluded in a bubble environment so the look is kind of whatever we want it to be but I wanted that part to feel a little bit more timeless. The kids are all wearing uniforms but they’re not necessarily indicative of post-Cold War or the tail end of the Cold War. When you think about government funding and what���s going to be a priority, maybe their desks are going to be a little bit older and the tech isn’t quite as new. That’s the thought process for that kind of stuff. And Jordan [Boyd] with his colors did a really nice, washed out, almost sort of film feel to it to help denote the past from the present, which I think worked out really well.

For those not lucky enough to have read the first issue yet, what is the Black Forest program?

Jordan: The idea behind the Black Forest program is that they took children, who had demonstrated sociopathic tendencies and were already presenting the homicidal triad, which we already discussed, but it’s basically three traits that serial killers tend to have. Having them doesn’t mean that you’re going to become a serial killer but most serial killers have them. Again, the homicidal triad is pyromania, cruelty to animals and wetting the bed, oddly enough, at an inappropriate age. The government recruits them by killing their parents and kidnapping them and then bringing them to the school. They’re basically living the life of a special forces soldier from a very young age. They’re trained to infiltrate. They’re trained how to evaluate a target. They’re trained how to psychologically terrorize and basically, channel their nasty, serial impulses in the direction that the government wants them to go.

The point of all of this is not to make soldiers out of them. The point is to be able to insert them into an area and just terrify the shit out of our enemies. Or do false flag operations, where we can do something horrible with no official record and blame it on somebody else. And they’re good at it until the government decides that it’s too dangerous to allow them to live and tries to kill them, which given the nature of the book, didn’t work. [Laughs] Basically, if the government was going to train a bunch of Hannibal Lecters as terrorists, Black Forest is more or less what you would get.

In the first issue, we meet a character named Abel, and it appears that he may actually best another character by the name of Cain in a head-to-head conflict. If that’s the case, it’s the complete opposite scenario of how that same conflict played out in the Bible. Is that relevant to “Savage Things” moving forward?

Jordan: Abel is an extremely capable character. The main subplot of the book is entirely his relationship with Cain and how they defy what the names would make you think what they are. They don’t inhabit the same roles. The names are, and this is mentioned in the book, given to them by the Black Forest program creators specifically because of the inherent symbolism. And it does kind of designate what their roles are. I have gone with the Abel-Cain thing before. I thought it worked in “Luther Strode.” The ultimate bad guy is obviously Cain – he’s the first murderer – so I wanted to play with that symbolism a little more with Abel but go in a different direction with it. His name is not apt as we get into the series in terms of where he’s going and what he’s done by the time “Savage Things” #8 rolls around.

This is solicited as an eight-issue series, but do you have more stories to tell about Abel and the Black Forest program should the opportunity present itself?

Jordan: This story is eight issues. There are certainly things happening in this universe that we’ve created that could go for another series if anybody were interested but within the context of “Savage Things,” if you read these eight issues, you get a complete and satisfying story. That’s what we set out to tell and we get to tell the whole thing. In eight issues so it’s nice.

Is Abel a good guy in this series? And if so, who are the bad guys? Koenig, Proctor and the other men and women running the Black Forest program?

Jordan: There are no good guys. [Laughs] There are bad guys and less bad guys. Arguably, Kira represents the good guys even though she’s working for Proctor and Koenig. Abel is least bad apart from Kira because his goals are not pure mayhem and destruction. He has a beef against Cain, which focuses his mayhem and destruction. He’s on the less bad side of Cain, but yes, you’re mostly looking at various shades of evil. [Laughs]

Finally Ibrahim, we’ve talked a lot about researching sociopaths and serial killers for this series but I wanted to ask you specifically about the art. There are some pretty gruesome things in even the first issue – an exposed spinal cord comes to mind – have you been looking at crime scene photos and images of severed body parts for your prep work?

Moustafa: I wish I could say that it’s cathartic, but a lot of times I am just like, “Yikes, I need to go pet my dog for a while.” [Laughs]

Definitely, this is something that I have never done before so it’s a fun challenge. It is a little worrisome. Sometimes I come up with something and I think, “That’s pretty cool.” And then I am like, “Oh. That was inside of me.” [Laughs] It’s a fine balance in trying to find a way to convey that type of horror but not being gratuitous for gratuity’s sake. I am definitely trying to find ways to imply a lot of the horror almost more of Hitchcockian approach to it. It’s almost what you don’t see is scarier than what you do see. But there are definitely moments when it has to be all-out carnage. There will definitely be some of that coming up.

“Savage Things” #1 is available now.

The post Jordan and Moustafa’s Savage Things Makes Murderers Out of Children appeared first on CBR.com.

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