#I was debating on posting this bc this is just a scribble

[cupiidzbow]

cranky takes them shopping

[thatdeadaquarius]

m thinkin abt the “blunt vs flowery” language thing and…… in the year of our lord 2023, i don't even want to imagine how far back we'd have to go in genshins timeline until we see ‘hey shawty' written on a cave wall-

you try to be better about it, sometimes, using only the fanciest words and the most floral of tones, but all you ever succeed in doing is giving zhongli flashbacks to the archon war-

in the same vein: modern humor. would literally make them think "is this some sort of divine joke im too mortal to understand?" except even the archons need to cite sources on why a piece of bread falling over would be funny- maybe you slip sometimes, but you only ever get halfway through like “i’m neurodivergent and a minor” before you realize they don’t know what that means— “what if i had blue hair and pronouns” but they’re just sitting there like… doesn’t everybody have pronouns….? and kaeya has blue hair- are you implying he’s divine? what about chongyun?? xingqiu??????

anyway um. this is me bringing up my unfortunate (but very funny) habit of saying “i’ll boil you like soup” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced and hoping it triggers Thoughts about the casual/slang threats we make and how they cope

sorry if this reads incoherently it’s 1am for me rn— also i’m debating becoming a regular anon here, are your applications open? 👉👈

SORRY IF I RAN U OFF BY NOT REPLYING QUICKLY!! BUT I’D LOVE TO HAVE LABELLED ANONS! I’ve already added some taken name I could see in my mailbox so check the pinned post and choose whatever isn’t taken! phrase or emoji, etc.! :)

this isnt super long bc ur stuff seemed chill on its own/idk what I could add! So I just focused on one aspect

gif is literally everyone reacting to you trying to speak “flowery” like them lol

ALSO u guys probably dont remember bc I took so long but I’m still writing/going to post that Blunt Lang. AU Fanfic One-Shot! so here’s some quick headcanons ill add on ive got anon!!

No TWs/Content Warnings. SFW.

so this was gonna be chill but-

BESDIES RANDOM SHIT LIKE MEME REFERENCES

THAT WONT MAKE SENSE TO THEM BC INHERENT INTERNET/DIGITAL UNDERSTANDING NEEDED

WHAT IF ALL UR JOKES OR REFERENCES ARE QUITE LITERALLY, ANCIENT??

like anon said about even the archons having to pull out sources/cite your stuff to understand it, like finding really old tablets/scrolls/carved wall words 😭

u giving Zhongli a history lesson/brush up LMAO

If ur annoyed at them u just need to make more jokes, leave em scrambling for their pocket notes LOL

I like to think since you sound the OLDEST

that the ancient shit like Phanes/Four Shades/Seven Sovereigns are the closest in speech

(look theyre all alive and shit for my genshin, goddamit i still gotta tell u guys abt my genshin fill-in lore au)

and they’re closer to the “beginning of history” in teyvat so theyd get more references

theyd literally understand u the best and they like, all in the Abyss or like deep in Teyvat,

so u just casually strolling up to Azdaha’s place instead like

“How’s your day been Azhy?”

“Same as the days many before, my lord. How are thee?”

“Good enough, hey, why don’t I bring some food from my old world by that I’ve made for you to try out? Something new, y’know?”

camera pan left to see Zhongli looking up, then back down as he scribbles notes trying to better understand, Xiao has crossed his arms and is squinting, Ganyu is behind Zhongli and is trying to peek over his shoulder, Cloud Retainer and other adepti have like hidden nearby to overhear lol

♤

FLASHBACKS FOR ZHONGLI-

HE’S OVER HERE LIKE

“Please do not disturb your countenance my Wànsuìyé, the vernacular is pleasant to mine ears and sufficient for speech.”

“I shall, uh, try my best Zhongli, thought I know ye have- wait- thy have? Whatever, accepted it, I shall keep attempting to better match thee!”

HIS FACE-

He’s literally just → 😰😣💀

(flashback to at least 1 really ancient/old god he had to fight for his life against, they were the hardest battle he’s ever faced, and Azhdaha was helping him by that point too, so it wasn’t even like he won alone… rip zhongli got ptsd)

He keeps trying to subtly stop you from practicing it, he also desperately discourages others from helping you 😭

(Zhongli was about to be called Rex Lapis again when Venti was trying to get on his last nerve by constantly encouraging you to speak fancier, but in the incorrect way, at dinner with them one time)

Like that last content with them pretending not to kow each other but 5x the tension and Venti is fooling around even more so than usual lol

THANKS FOR SENDING IN YOUR IDEAS!! I FUCKING LOVE HEARING OTHER PPLS BRAINROTS OVER STUFF!! AND SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK FOREVER!! ITS BEEN A ROUGH YEAR OF UNI FOR ME/IM GRADUATING!! <333 TYSM ANON!!

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylazaa / @genshin-impacts-mee / @wholesomey-artistt / @thedevioussmirk

[4thenookie]

random hcs 3/??

do people even like these??

nina being the scene queen she is has racoon tails!! she bleached one into tobys hair one 3am, i havent decided how it went

liu drinks straight black tea but his coffee?? he might as well drink straight creamer

jeff has like..... patchy hair, like bald spots yk?? all that fire did a number on his hairline

puppeteer wants to play d&d but nobody wants to play with him

if someone pulls out cards against humanity i just know they all playin

guess who wins

guess

brian.

nobody expects him to find such filthy heinous shit funny but he does bc hes a tomfoolery enjoyer, a shenanigan causer if you will

BEN and toby both laugh at their own cards and then they're the most unfunny things ever

when people give tim an explicit card he has to turn away and take a deep breath before he reads them out in the most serious deadpan dad voice ever

you know the voice

and everyone finds this funny so they give him all their filthiest cards

brian giggles

nina can actually draw really well!! she does that emo art style the one that's all scribbly w the big eyes and skinny ass legs yk???

havent figured out who it is yet but somebody gives everybody piercings (who would this piercer be?? debate)

toby has quite a few because he can't feel the pain anyway,, im thinking snake bites, septum, lobes, helix, and maybe a tongue piercing??

jeff might as well make his entire ear one big earring at this point

if he took all his earrings out his ears would be riddled with holes lmao

nina has a couple ear piercings, as well as dolphin bites and a nose stud

BEN has piercings in his funny elf ears (which are very expressive btw!!)

ej has a stud in each ear (i think hed have pointy ears too! and they move like they prick up and droop and stuff!!)

speaking of ej... i think he also has really tiny horns, but he's so much taller than everyone else not many people actually notice them

also he doesn't wear shoes bc he has like demon feet idk

he has two fangs on the bottom that stick kind of out and up?? like you can see the points of them even when his mouth is closed

ok ill shut up about him now (i did a lil sketch of him a few posts ago if ur interested!!)

jeff and toby dumpster dive (the crust punk and his pet raccoon)

OK LAST EJ ONE FOR NOW.... he moves really slow to conserve energy, but when he runs jesus christ i pray for you

[letitrainathousandflames]

goth counter culture was your thesis??? do tell. thats so metal my dude do tell please I need the facts and information.

(not me reading tags because Im curious)

*flails excitedly* aaaah yes I have a degree in Fashion Design and Goth subculture (with an emphasis on its fashion aspect, of course) was the focus of my thesis. I'll go on into the fashion aspect bc otherwise this post will be gigantic <3

Subcultures are SO cool because they resist to the pull of the mass culture. They are where aesthetic, fashion, ideology, art, politics and more meet and create entire movements that refuse to conform and be blended into what is deemed Normal and Acceptable.

Punk and Goth are two amazing examples of movements that go against what fast fashion and consumerism culture dictates.

Punk fashion looks cooler the more worn and frayed by use each piece is. Stains and holes in the fabric are irrelevant, poems and art is scribbled with markers on the jeans of pants and canvas of shoes, all those chains and spikes on belts and bracelets are bound to yank or rip at a seam here and there and no one cares.

Punk got that jacket at a second hand shop twelve years ago and has been covering it on patches and song lyrics and they will not bat an eye at some pre-ripped, pre-frayed, overpriced jacket because there are twenty of them that look exactly like it on the same rack and they all lack soul and history.

Any Forever 21's pre-made "punk" jacket with false pockets and perfectly symmetric frayed ends will never have what an old-school haphazardly patched and scribbled jacket where one's hands can sink past the wrists in its pockets have.

Similarly, Goth fashion is contrary to fast-paced consumerism culture in the sense that it rejects the concept of trends and of certain styles/colors/accessories/etc being "in" or "out".

That does not mean that Goths are cheap, though! A high-quality, sturdy corset can cost about $120, more if it's made to measure, and one will be happy to buy it because it's a staple piece that can be matched with most of a goth's wardrobe and will last decades if properly taken care of.

An interesting point about the complete disregard for Autumn/Winter or Spring/Summer and the whole "oh I can't wear this, it's so last season!" is the fact that most goth shops - many of which sell handmade fashion - sell the same pieces in and out of seasons.

If a classic, Wednesday Addam-esque black dress with white lacy collar and underskirt for volume works and is selling well, why ditch the design at the end of some arbitrarily created period of time? Why stop selling pieces that work and are good just because you theoretically can't sell sleeveless dresses during winter?

Another aspect is that, if everything you own is mostly black, you'll hardly have issues matching pieces together, and if you love a particular dress or jacket too dearly and they are in good state but their color has been washed into a pale grey, you can always have them re-dyed back into their original raven-like glory.

Needless to say, fast-fashion wear-it-and-discard-it-in-a-year people are... not very fond of such subcultures and their refusal to renovate their wardrobes every goddamn year.

In my course of studies, we go through two evaluating processes for our thesis: one at the writing, data-gathering, book-quoting phase; and another one at the debating, using what was studied as a base, creating your fashion collection phase.

I had to defend my thesis twice, and I would be failed a third time if my favorite teacher who really liked my work hadn't infiltrated the evaluating border while pretending not to know me and gave me a score high enough to pass to the next phase despite the other teachers' low score.

Because those teachers really really hated that I had picked a target audience that demanded quality over quantity and were mostly immune to the market's pressures as the focus of my study. They wanted me to do like 17 out of the 19 other students in my class and just do beachwear instead.

Y'know, because "this is Brazil, and why are you picking such a complicated topic like Goths and how they need breathable, lighter fabrics here because the U.S. and British brands usually makes clothes in warmer fabrics so buying clothes online isn't really a solution..."

(these are the same people who told the girl who wanted to make clothes for tattooed, female bodybuilders that her target audience didn't exist, and I had turn to her and loudly say that I knew a female bodybuilder, and she could easily get her in touch with others for her research. Oh. I think I just traced back to why those teachers might hate me. Oops lmao)

Anyway I passed to phase 2, had a blast working on my designs with my fav teacher as my guide, and even though I'm seeking out a career path more focused on art rather than fashion, I'm really proud of how it turned out.

That thesis was my baby and I think both passion and spite were my fuel to make it <3

[okthatsgreat]

12, 13, 24, 25, 26, 29, 43, 74

For fanfic ask game because brain still go brrr about your work a lot :D

JORDANNNNNN SHAKING YOU GRABBING YOU SHAKING YOU

this ones gonna be LONG lol GONNA PUT THIS UNDER READ MORE :]

12. do you outline your fics?  if yes, how detailed are your outlines?  how far do you stray from them?

i try to lmfaoooo!!!! for opddmh for example, ive got the basic outline of how i want everybodys arcs to end, the climax of the story, and a vague idea of a few of the plot beats all written out in an empty discord server i use to keep track of things!! i also put in loose scraps of dialogues i daydream up even if im not quite sure where theyll fit in yet, just so if im really stuck i can scroll through and see if anything rings a bell!! there are QUITE a few emotional scenes already written out and ready to go

nothing is super detailed tho!! quite a bit of it is still on a chapter to chapter basis. while i have an outline its not always set in stone, for example there were a LOT of scenes i had scribbled down for odietlg and lgowab that didnt make the final cut!! i dont have the notes for odietlg but i do have them for lgowab bc theyre archived in that empty discord server i mentioned earlier lol. one idea from that story that got scrapped were all of the different endings coming from different peoples point of views (for example korekiyos pov, tenkos pov, kaedes pov) but that got scrapped bc i thought itd lessen the impact a bit. ALSO in one of the earlier drafts of lgowab a LOT more v3 kids were gonna be ahl members including tenko, but i thought it was more important to keep their numbers down to really emphasise how much danganronpa is dramatising their threat level lol! off the top of my head there were bits and pieces i scrapped from odietlg too but i wont go on and on about that LOLOL

oh and also there is an entire channel dedicated to miu that i still go back to sometimes LMFAOO

13. do you listen to music while you write?  if yes, what have you been listening to recently?

oh my god i cant listen to music while i write LMFAOO or at least not music with lyrics. if i really really need to write i will pull myself up by my pants sit down at my desk and stare at my screen in total silence until eventually my adhd meds wear off and i go to sleep

im mostly kidding LMFAO if i really need something in the background ill put on this playlist! if i need inspo sometimes i go to the fic playlists ive got on spotify :]

24. how do you choose whose POV to write in?

i choose based on who i think will tell an interesting story! going to be flat out honest with you, sometimes the povs i write from arent my favorite characters, but i think that their personal story would be a really good fit in what im trying to convey! tenko is probably one of the only exceptions considering the entire story is based around her surviving LMFAO even then that was mostly because i wanted to dissect her under a microscope for 42 chapters. emma and maki are like this too considering mask of my own face/run from your demons are oneshots :]

himiko and miu got chosen for lgowab mostly based on the fact that they had completely different stories to tell and i didnt want to choose two protags who were going through the same thing!! himiko strived for selflessness while miu struggled with morality and paranoia and i thought they would contrast well :] and oh my god let me tell you i did not expect to bring miu back for a whole other fic but i got ATTACHED shes such a mess.

everybody in opddmh were selected because they brought a range of different lifestyles/coping mechanisms to a post-game universe and they all have stories i wanted to explore!! makoto and being the poster child for hope and struggling with how others perceive him, mikans debate with her own morality and growing bitterness towards the company, and then of course akanes total refusal to be worried at all costs. byakuyas brief povs are to supply a more pessimistic view of their situation that parallels miu, which is why theyre always together during it. ive mentioned this in another ask from kozuelovemail but the v3 kids that stay alongside each pov were selected because they parallel the older participants in some way!!

and then of course. probably goes without saying but i do tend to choose female povs lmfaooo not only because I Am One but also because theyre just soooo criminally unexplored

25. what’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

well i can say its NOT editing LMFAOOOO this bitch does not edit!!!!!!!!!!!!! which you can probably tell!!!! i mean i give it a good glance and then send it off usually a lot of the edits are made when i wake up in the morning read over the chapter again and go "what the hell was i trying to say here"

brainstorming maybe???? i love Thinking. a lot of the times stories come to me in various scenes rather than one linear storyline and ive gotta grab them all from inside my head and mash them together. i also love brainstorming characters arcs and what their Deal is gonna be throughout it

and then writing of course. love writing. ive had to teach myself to kinda just type out a draft at first and to stop going back to edit, and then once i finish i go back and add extra or remove anything that sounds silly. writing on a good day is lots of fun!!!! ESPECIALLY when its scenes that im excited for/are high drama. like. those high drama scenes that ive been waiting to get down onto google docs dot com...... hell yea

26. what’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

PFFT WHOOPS already answered probably editing! its difficult for me to sit there and read over everything meticulously cuz my brain just does not want to thoroughly go through something especially if ive just completed it. which. most of the time as soon as i complete it and have gone back to add in extra/remove the silly bits i consider it done and i send it through LMFAO. thats on me for updating weekly tho!!! there are gonna be mistakes!!!!!!!!!! and yknow what ive learned to live with that this is a fanfiction i write for fun and i do this cuz i love writing :]

29. what’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

hgfdjkgshdk i always feel so bad like. praising my writing yknow? theres always going to be parts of it id change or want to go back on but if i had to choose something id probably say the characterisation? i try to put in a lot of effort in making these people feel more human and not as "larger than life" as they usually are, and i want every pov i write from to have flaws and things theyre good at and little quirks that make each of them stand out from each other. when i write characters i try to keep in mind the little things about them, like himiko twitching her nose or mikan having acne shes self conscious about, miu twirling her hair or makoto using novelty mugs instead of the more aesthetically pleasing ones. just tiny things that round them out as people :]

43. is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

ouhghggh..... not sure! im so so focused on opddmh rn if i think about anything else ill totally spiral away from it (im already doing that with the rp im in LMFAOOOO erin on the brain). there are a few things im excited to write for but thatd be spoiling >:)

73. do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

not really!!!! i know its such a corny fucking answer but genuinely people have been so so lovely on all of my fics. like some of the kindest people. and also people who have stuck around for a very long time!! theres one commenter mythgirl02 who has literally given me a comment on every single chapter on every single fic ive published mythgirl if youre out there..... i love you. and even if they dont comment on every chapter ive gotten commenters who have actually brought me tears YOU FUCKING INCLUDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also lily if shes reading this their comments are always so so sweet

i write bc ive got stories i wanna get out of my brain and share!!!!!!! its fantastic that people click on them to read along!!!!! i really try not to worry too much about kudos or reads or anything like that, but the support has been very very lovely and its led me to some awesome communities :]]

JORDAN I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR THIS <333 THANK YOU SM AND SORRY ITS SO LONG I LIKE TALKING

fanfiction ask game!

[softestbeaniebaby]

Call these Gay And Touch Starved

someone please hold me holy shit

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Distractions (Soldier Boy)

Pairing: Soldier Boy X F!Reader

Summary: You're Soldier Boy's assistant and you're trying to prepare things for an upcoming premiere, but he has other plans. And he really wants your attention.

Warnings: 18+, minors dni, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, you know better than these mfs), fingering, creampie, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, bit of denigration, praising kink, choking, dirty talk, Soldier Boy bc yes he's a warning on his own, cursing. I'm not really following any plots or canons here, this is just porn w/ soldier boy.

WC: 3k

A/N: So yeah, I said I had a little something hidden in my drafts, and after thinking I don't give a fuck, I'm posting it. We all know soldier boy is a horrible person, there's no need to debate on it, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend he is, but hes a lot of fun to write and hes fucking hot and I want to fuck him, shitty or not, so to anyone who wants to fuck him as much as I do, here's whatever the fuck this is. Enjoy you sinful fucks.

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated!

“Ben.” You hissed, moving your head and nudging him away with your shoulder when you felt his lips on your neck. 

He sat back in shock, taking a minute to process the fact that you actually shoved him away, “Did you just—”

You tore your eyes away from the pile of papers in your hands and you looked at him. His green eyes were glued to your face and you had to clench your jaw to stop yourself from laughing at the genuinely offended look on his face. You have been his assistant for a little over six months, you had gotten used to him whining and complaining whenever he didn't get his way. It hadn't even been a month when he was already bending you over a table and fucking you senseless simply because he wanted to. You were pretty much done for then. So it was nearly impossible to tell him no after that. 

“I’m trying to look over your goddamn talking points for tomorrow’s premiere, so yes, yes I did.” You reminded him with a sarcastic smile as you held up the pile of stapled papers in your hands. He snatched them from your hand with a scoff. 

“The fuck do I need talking points for?” He asked as he eyed the printed words as well the written notes and scribbles you had made on the paper. 

“Because unlike what you have been led to believe, you can’t actually do or say whatever the fuck you want in public.” You sighed, it was like you were talking to a teenager. You took the papers from him with annoyance and returned to scribbling and crossing things off and tried to ignore him huffing and puffing next to you. 

“That’s funny because I can do whatever the fuck I want. And right now I want to fuck you stupid over this couch, so I’m gonna do just that.” He said as he grabbed your jaw and turned your face towards him, kissing you hard. 

You gasped against his mouth but you were melting into it merely a second later. It took all of your willpower to not give in. It was nearly impossible to say no to Soldier Boy, but fuck were you going to try. You held yourself together, standing your ground, despite that part of yourself just screaming at you to do as he told you. You whined against his lips and pulled your head back. You almost missed the look of both annoyance and neediness he gave you. He didn’t take kindly to being told to wait. 

“Ben I’m serious, I have to finish looking over these because Mr. Edgar will have my fucking head if you go off your script again.” You sighed, running your fingers through his thick hair. He rolled his eyes at you and slightly smacked his lips with equal irritation. 

“Does it look like I give a fuck?” He scoffed, holding your jaw with a tight grip, he wasn’t taking no for an answer and you knew that. “Just a quick fuck. Then you can do all the boring paperwork shit you want.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and bit your lip, almost giving in, almost, “It’s never just a quick fuck with you. I can barely move after, let alone think about work.”

“Awe, I do fuck you stupid, huh sweeatheart?” He smirked and tilted his head as he eyed you with a smug glint in his eyes. You glared at him and pulled your head away from his grip, turning your body away from his entirely. Now you just wanted to fuck with him. 

“You’re insufferable,” You said with distaste, going back to your papers. You completely missed the way his jaw twitched, but you did hear him inhale sharply. 

“You know, you’ve lasted longer than any other assistant I’ve ever had, they don’t even last a month, and yet here you are, so I can’t be that insufferable.” 

“Oh, you are insufferable, trust me, I can’t stand you either most of the time, especially when you won’t let me do my fucking job,” You started to say, not looking in his direction, but you felt his weight leave the couch and you saw him stand up out of your peripheral vision. Huh, you couldn’t believe that actually worked. “I don’t think any of your other assistants had the amount of patience I do, because being around you is like being around a spoiled teenager twenty-four seve— Hey!” 

You looked up at him with wide eyes when he stood in front of you, took the papers right out of your hands and threw them behind him, out of your reach. You glared at him as you stood up to grab them, but when you did, he grabbed you with ease and threw you back on the couch. Your back hit the armrest and you were about to protest when he grabbed your ankle and dragged you so that your back was fully on the couch. He spread your legs apart and settled between them before you could protest. 

“And, none of my other assistants dared to speak to me the way you do. So maybe I should remind you who’s in charge here.” He said gravelly, eyes dark as he laid a hand flat on your collarbone with enough force to hold down with just that one hand. His body was also on top of you, you wouldn’t be able to move even if you wanted to. Which you didn’t, not really. 

His lips came crashing down on yours hard. You gasped against his mouth, and he took the opportunity to invade your mouth with tongue. You could taste the faint whiskey on his tongue. He took everything and gave you nothing. He was kissing you so hard you didn’t notice the trip grip he had on your shirt and before you realized, you felt a harsh tug and you heard the fabric tear. The shirt fell in two pieces on opposite ends and you groaned against his mouth. 

“Dude again? Stop ruining my clothes.” You complained but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it, the way he could manhandle you like that. He didn’t look bothered at all, there was a smirk on his face, if anything he looked proud. 

“Be thankful I’m letting you walk away with panties this time.” 

His mouth was back on yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth with ease as his hands did quick work of getting rid of your pants. He tore them off your legs along with your panties with ease. He thankfully didn’t tear the fabric of either this time, he could be careful if he really wanted to at times. You were completely naked under him, and he was fully clothed still. Though, thankfully, you didn’t have to go through the hassle of taking his entire suit off since, at times, when he knew you were both completely alone in his penthouse, he would ditch the suit and would dress in comfortable clothes. Your hands found the end of his shirt and you tugged it up. He pulled back and pulled his shirt over his head before he was leaning down again. His lips found the skin of your neck and he sucked, hard. You gasped when you felt his teeth dig into your skin, surely leaving a mark you would have to cover for tomorrow’s premiere. 

“I'm gonna have that there tomorrow you know.” You muttered to him as he pulled back and eyed the spot that would soon turn a shade of purple with a proud smirk on his lips.

“Good, maybe then you won’t have corporate assholes kissing your ass all night if they see you’re fucking a real man.” There was a certain hint of possessiveness in his tone as he spat into his hand with equal harshness.

“Not that anyone would actually know who that is, because you won’t tell anyone about us.” You pointed out with a bit of harshness of your own. You didn’t know why it bothered you that he wouldn’t go public, probably because it meant this wasn’t anything serious to him. And as much as you knew you coukdnt expect anything out of him, it did bother you and he knew that.

He looked at you, face turning serious for a moment and he leaned down, planting a hard kiss to your lips, “Trust me sweetheart, we’re better off. You don’t want Vought to use you as PR, I don’t want you to be, okay?” He cocked his eyebrows at you, expecting a response. He rested a hand on your hip while the other one ghosted over your inner thigh. You didn’t want to argue with him about that now, you already were craving him, your mind foggy with want and need for him, you weren’t in the right state of mind to have that conversation, so you simply nodded. 

“Good girl.” He smiled at you, pressing a sloppy kiss to your mouth before he pressed his fingers against your already wet core. You whined softly and squirmed under his much larger body. He caught the way your eyebrows narrowed and your lips parted, and he smirked, spreading the wetness over your clit.

“Fuck,” You cursed under your breath, a sigh of satisfaction leaving your lips as he rubbed small circles over the buncle of nerves. He watched your face with amusement as he slipped two long fingers into you. He said nothing as he worked you open with his fingers, simply listening to the increasingly loud moans that came out of your mouth each time his fingers curved against you. “Please Ben, I need you.”

“Hold on, I don’t want to hurt you.” He muttered, scissoring his fingers with urgency. Despite being as needy and desperate as you were, him being the one who wanted you in the first place, he wanted you to come first, he had learned his lesson trying to take you without foreplay.

But honestly? You didn’t care, you just wanted him. 

“I’m not going to break. I can handle you.” You whined, shaky hands coming to tug his sweatpants down his hips, or at least attempt to. He really wanted to control himself. But fuck, if you were begging him? Fuck control.

His fingers quickly left you. You shivered softly at the sudden emptiness, but that didn’t last long. Ben tugged his sweats down past his thighs, his cock springing free against his stomach. Your eyes unconsciously traveled down and your lips slightly parted at the sight. He chuckled smugly, loving how you always seemed to worship him at times. He leaned down, using one of his arms to brace himself above you as he guided his cock to your entrance. You hooked your legs around his torso and braced yourself. He slid into you with ease, already rolling his eyes back at the feeling of your walls squeezing him. 

“Fuck you’re so—” He groaned, his hips shifting as he sat still for a second and he soaked in the way your lips parted and your eyes rolled back with pleasure. “—Fucking tight. You’re already squeezing the fuck outta my cock.” 

He gave you a second before he was drawing his hips back and slamming back in with enough force to make you scream. Well good thing he had a whole penthouse to himself, you could make as much noise as you wanted and nobody would tell him shit. Not that anyone would otherwise. 

You had to bite your lip to stifle the sounds that wanted to come out of your mouth. He was relentless, he fucked you like it was his mission. With each thrust of his hips, he went deeper, hitting your most sensitive spot over and again once he found it. He gripped your hips roughly, slightly lifting them off the couch to meet his thrusts at an angle that had you screaming. And while his grip was bruising and his movements were rough, he wasn’t hurting you, something he learned after months. You always thought he would break you, but he never did, nor would he ever dream of it. 

“Stop biting that fucking lip or I’m gonna bite it for you. Let me hear you scream for me.” He demanded, gripping your jaw with a tight grip as he gave a particularly deep thrust that made you scream. “Yeah, just like that.”

You were squirming under him, your thighs clenched around him and you were squeezing him so tight he knew you had to be close. Soldier Boy was one smug motherfucker, he lived off his pride and ego, and he’d be fucking damned if anyone ever said he didn’t please his women. 

“Fuck Ben!” You cried out as he pressed his thumb to your clit, rubbing quick circles on the swollen bud, that combined with his already unforgiving pace, you pretty much lost it. 

He pulled you into a sloppy kiss, happily swallowing your moans as you trembled, your orgasm washing over you. He fucked you through it, groaning when your walls squeezed him and your juices made him slip in and out of you with ease. Your head was spinning and you were shaking, but you were coherent enough to still feel Ben above you, his pace not once faltering or slowing down. Supe stamina you guessed. 

You were about to speak when he grabbed your hips and flipped you over, your stomach flat on the couch but he pulled your ass up. He held your hip with a bruising grip as he slammed back into you. You pressed your forehead against the couch, your mouth falling open into silent scream as he sunk into you again. You didn’t know if you were just sensitive or fuck drunk, but you could already feel the coil in your stomach after he gave you a few more thrusts. Your eyes were filling up with tears and you could feel a burn in the pit of your stomach. 

“Ben wait— I can’t—”

“Yes you can sweetheart. Just give me one more and I’ll leave you be.” He panted, close to tipping over the edge but not quite there yet.

“Ben,” You whined, squeezing your eyes shut, the overstimulation making tears slip from your eyes and your legs shake. You felt a shiver run down your spine when you felt his lips on your spine, his tongue running over your skin. He stopped at your neck, he left a trail of wet kisses before he pressed his lips against your ear.

“You’re my good girl right? You’d do anything I tell you to?” He coaxed, his voice deep and smooth, enough to make you want to come right then and there, again. You nodded, not trusting your voice. “Yeah you fucking would. So come for me, now.” He demanded, his hand slipping down your body to run your sensitive clit and the overstimulation was enough to send you over the edge, again. He sat up, pulling you flush against his chest as he fucked you through your high. His hips actually faltered this time. 

“You’re still on the pill right?” He rasped in your ear, the hand that had been on your hip now resting on the column of your neck. You somewhat registered his words in your fucked out brain and you half nodded, you had a feeling you knew why he was asking. “Good. Yeah, you’re gonna be a good little slut and take everything I give you.” 

Not that you would say no, as pathetic as it might’ve been, you’d do anything he told you, you’d take whatever he gave you. And he loved that, just as much as he loved shutting you up. 

“Fuck, fuck that’s it,” He moaned, his hand squeezing your neck tight enough to bruise, but not enough cut off your air entirely. He turned your head and kissed you hard, tongue slipping into your mouth as he sunk into you one more time before he spilled inside you.

You both sat there, he held you as you both tried to normalize your breathing for a while. You could feel the mixture of releases slip down your thigh but you didn’t care. You closed your eyes as Ben said dirty praises into your ear. And when you were no longer shaking, he unwrapped his arms from you and slipped out of you, the mess he left seeping out of you and coating the couch. You couldn't be less bothered by this as you simply laid on your stomach, eyes still closed and your body sore and arching. You didn’t come out of your little trance until you felt Ben leave the couch and chuckle lowly. 

“Clean yourself up sweetheart, you're making a mess.” You could hear the amusement in his tone, he was fucking with you. It still annoyed you enough to make you open your eyes and flip him off. He laughed. “Don’t you have work to do?”

Oh right.. Work. Totally forgot about that in between all the fucking. 

“Shut up. Just leave me be.” You muttered still in a drunken state of bliss. The last thing you could think about was work. 

“Whatever you say sweetheart. I was just thinkin’ I could run you a hot bath, have you relax while I finger that pretty little pussy ‘til you’re coming all over my fingers again. Then we can go to bed,” He paused, waiting to see your reaction. He successfully caught your attention and you lifted your head, your eyes finding his playful green ones and he continued. “But hey, if you want to sit here all night doing this boring shit nobody will actually give a fuck about tomorrow because I’m gonna say whatever the fuck I want anyway, be my guest.”

“You’re gonna have to carry me then, I don’t trust my legs with walking.” You hummed, flipping onto your back and you looked up at him, catching the smirk on his lips and the glint in his eyes. 

“Trust me sweetheart, you won’t be doing much of that either after I’m done with you tonight.”

[endofthelinegang]

𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ michael morbius x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ exactly what the title reads

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ usual bullshit

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ i am in love with this character and as per usual i characterize all of my characters bc i'm a psychopath w ocd

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

100% personality, no way is this man all about the body okay just nuh uh. So, any little quirks you have like twirling your hair, tapping your nails, making little noises when you’re doing seemingly quiet things, announcing that you have a question before asking, randomly, mouthing words on and off while listening to music, etc.. anything that makes you you to him that other people may find annoying or maybe they just brush off. Or if you have any little things like writing down random quotes, doing little scribbles on important papers, or if you sit like you don’t know how to use a chair he loves shit like that. 

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Possibly but maybe not, he knows the world and all of the ick that it’s contaminated with medically and just in general. But, he would also want you to have the life that you wish to have because he knows how it feels to not have that. So, if it was something you really wanted he would agree to it and would be more keen on the idea if he could balance out what he’d done to himself with just living life. He also applies to THIS post, no debate the gavel has been slammed. 

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Depends on how he’s feeling. Most of the time he will wait until you're asleep to drape an arm over your body and move closer. But when he’s awake he will let you snuggle into his side or put your head on his shoulder holding hands. Sometimes when you’re standing behind him he will lean his head back to touch your body and just close his eyes for a few moments.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

At home, takeout food, music, and board/card games. He believes that going into town just means putting on some type of show for the people around. So he’s not the biggest fan of that, not to mention he’s a wanted man. Basically cards stacked against him are pretty bad. But he loves how you are when it’s just the two of you, it makes him more comfortable and able to be himself. 

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are my masterpiece. Michael gets a lot of praise for the work that he completed in his life. In that statement he isn’t trying to claim that he made you into who you are, he just thinks that you are his best choice and therefore his masterpiece, the one that involved nothing more than his personality, the part of his brain that people cared about the least. You are a standout from anything else in his life. 

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

When you had no idea who he was, you just looked at him and talked to him like he was no one. It was refreshing to talk to someone who had no idea what accomplishments he had or what he had done to himself. Even after he told you every last detail, each drop affected you not once. You genuinely didn’t change your mind or recognize him. 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

With almost everything, touches, speaking, handing you things, and more. He believes in a gentle approach because it grabs more positive attention than possible negative attention towards him. He also does it because even though you’ve shared a lot there’s no guarantee you’ve shared everything or haven’t suppressed anything so being gentle ensures that nothing bad could arise in your head. 

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Palms touching or finger tips touching. So if you’re holding hands walking, in bed, on a couch, or anywhere where there’s no real surface to put your hands on then he will do that. Now the other one, basically think arm and wrist on the table, hand pointed up, fingertips touching one another and sometimes tapping. This is when you’re both working on something or doing anything together at a table and you want physical touch but possibly will need both hands, it’s just easier than having to completely disconnect hands and then have to resituate. 

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

“Every person she looks at get’s the same look and the same words like a broken record, but a considerate and simple one at that.” Those were his words to his coworker when he watched you come down the hallway and smile and wave the same way at each individual. No difference whatsoever. And he loved it. 

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

No, he’s Michael Fucking Morbius, he get’s protective because danger is just everywhere at all times. But jealous hell no, he’s a doctor who is also a vampire, no one comes across Twilight (but alive) on the daily, it’s not common. Plus he trusts you, he’s trusted you since you met. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?

Long and loving or really short quick pecks, no in between. If he chooses to show affection during your alone time where neither of you have anything important to do then you better be ready because he’s gonna sink his teeth into that time like a lion into fresh meat, meaning long kisses and physical touch are an event. The quick ones I mean self explanatory, he’s busy but just wants to reassure you physically. He 100% made you initiate the first kiss just to see how long you’d let him keep getting so close but never doing it. He also would’ve hated if he screwed everything up by touching mouths. 

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Weird situation but, him, but he meant it, so he’s being a sarcastic bastard and you’re laughing at him joking around and you say “i hate you.” OBVIOUSLY JOKING OKAY. and he just goes “I love you too.” But he doesn’t say it jokingly, he waits until he’s done chuckling at your little remarks and snickering to say it so that you knew he meant it. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Teaching you to make origami animals because he got to guide your hands while you touched and folded the paper. He also got to see you get frustrated but not enough to tear up the paper and quit (since you knew this meant something to him). Because a week later you left one you made alone on his desk with a note inside of it and at the end it readb “don’t ask me to refold this, it took me over an hour.” 

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Randomly yes, like when he can’t spend time with you, if he thinks he’s fucked up, or if he thinks he did something you would hate. Usually it’s jewelry or some type of comfort item, sometimes it’s simply your favorite drink. Little gestures that involved money and little origami animals. 

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

White (I KNOW IT’S NOT A RAINBOW COLOR BUT BARE WITH ME). He wears primarily dark colors and likes dark places. To him you are the white light, the one bright thing that could have color added but is perfect exactly the clean clear way you are. That no matter what you are reflective of his colors and encompass them in many ways. 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Love, darling, sweetheart. Basic, simplistic, get’s the point across while being verbally affectionate. It's perfect. 

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Art, he likes non modern art because to him art is so conceptual now that you can get anything from it, any story you want. But old art from specific artists and styles had one straight story and he appreciates being able to see that like a book from one picture.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Go on walks, watch you enjoy the rain, or watch it fall from a window. He sort of loves the rain, the way he can feel each drop being different, the way you enjoy it with him. The way you get the stray hair out of his face, the way you spin around, the way you kick water at him. He loves it. 

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

To be alone, spend time alone just to meditate and regain an okay outlook and find his center again. To cheer you up he simply listens before reacting. You want space? It’s all yours. You wanna take deep breaths and sip water? He will retrieve said water. Scared to be alone? He’s right there. Dead silent? He won’t say a word or move too much. 

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Anything and everything literally, will tell story among story, loves your little questions, is into theory talk, just a little of everything. Will answer any question you have and love to hear you tell stories of your own. 

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Dead silence, cold room, no lights. Just a nice place where nothing is acting up or out, nothing triggers anything inside of him to become wound. 

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off?)

Not a whole lot, feels like his personal life is his for a reason and prefers to keep it that way. It’s easier, super comfortable, raises the stability of everything since there’s less of a chance it can be messed up. 

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Early morning, right after you wake up, in whatever room he’s in. Gives you a little scare, gives you something to think about all day, and then he can plan something special for the evening that you won’t be expecting. 

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Underground by Cody Fry. 

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Oh of course, it’s a great way to balance out importance in his personal life and his work life. 

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Besides a bat, a goldish. He can feed it, it just swims around in a pretty tank with pretty scales and doesn’t make messes.

[cognitosclowns]

hey this might be a weird request but do you have any headcanons about everyone's handwritings? thanks!!!

OOH THIS WAS SUPER FUN TYSM,

all sfw!! Program used is (here)

OKIE ILL TRY TO KEEP THIS SHORT BC I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOR DECADES BUT :

OKAY on debated giving her,, Super Pristine Writing because she seems to have everything together

BUT

It's implied that she used to be a reporter? SO <333 I WANTED TO GIVE HER SMTH A BIT MORE,, SNAPPY <3.

Quick but legible! She's used to having to write down a lot of info vvvv quickly, so she kinda had to adapt on the go and WHABAM <3

LIKE,,, if she NEEDS to, ofc she can have Really Smooth, Pretty Writing,, but,,,, nah she likes to stick to Old Reliable sndmsnd.

OH and she absolutely knows shorthand. Anything of her's that,, doesn't need to be read by others is gonna be in shorthand <3

OH COME ON <333 THE TRIANGLE A'S I COULDN'T PASS IT UP. Not only efficient but,, On Theme smdsnd

Took reference from ep's 2 and 4 where we got to see her write!! She <33 seems to like Big Clunky Letters

NOT DIRECTLY RELATED BUT,, she types so INTENSELY DEAR GOD. VV fast, VV loud - everyone assumes she’s mad but,, nah she’s just efficient smdns

She much prefers typing bc,,, her handwriting can never keep up with how fast her thoughts are going?

EY SAME N'S AS REAGANS, PICKED THIS MOSTLY BC I LOVED THAT PARALLEL.

He gives me the vibes of smb who,, writes SUPER HARD but also vv fast?? It makes an audible sktch-sktch-sktch and leaves an indent on the page underneath. 

<3333 UNCANNILY clean, to the point that it looks typed out

HE ALSO,, writes like 3d printer?? like he doesn't go letter by letter - to an outside observer, he makes this Very Quick Diagonal Scribble Motion, and somehow it creates Pristine Writing. (absolutely unecessary, but he delights in unnerving ppl)

OH AND DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND that this man wouldn't do,, the most Dramatic, Swoopy handwriting when signing things. Just to be a showoff. Little bastard smdns.

*vague gestures* business

OH but just <33 very loose-wrist handwriting. He signs so many things,, all the time,, oughe he absolutely has a Ganglion cyst or like,, carpel tunnel. By the end of most nights its just an,, Up-Down-Up-Down zig-zag.

he used to have a Super Swirly signature but,, eventually it just became a loose scribble

OH he probably had,, passable handwriting but his coordination is dreadful post-surgery

SMDNS DOESN'T HELP THAT,,, HE ABSOLUTELY SKIPPED MOST OF THE PHYSICAL THERAPY HE SHOULD HAVE DONE.

It isn't that he can't write, it's just difficult to get the letters as precise as he used to and that has a habit of frustrating him? So then he writes even worse and it becomes a kerfuffle

if he's patient tho and gives himself a singular break its pretty clear!!

A hint of Fancy Yancy, but it's loosened up a bit as he's gotten older and distanced from his Private School Years!!

OH he absolutely journals <33 nothing too fancy - a few photos he's printed out, mostly of The Gang, little things around Cognito that he appreciates, etc!!!

Ofc he could do all that online but,,, the act of writing everything out forces him to take his time with it? and really thing through and appreciate the memories he's writing down? eaoughe <3

This font was chosen for the kindness of it's smile and I'm not ashamed to admit it

TENTACLE MAN WOULD HAVE SHIT HANDWRITING. IF HE GAVE HIMSELF HANDS IT'D BE EVEN WORSE.

Truly deeply madly please never ask him to write down anything for you it will only end in pain. 

He both does not listen and does not care about most things that ppl are saying and OOFE THATS A RECIPE FOR DISASTER SMDNSD.

LIKE SURE ITS VAGUELY comprehensible but overall??? no smdnsmd. If he's gotta record smth he's 1000% gonna prefer oral dictation - he can speak a mile a minute when he wants to!

He's on Every Drug All At Once All The Time sdmsnd there's no way he has clean hand writing

I feel like it also,, wobbles a lot?? Full on ~~~~ across the page, and instead of correcting on the NEXT line, he just follows that same curve??

OH and he has a horrible habit of overestimating how much he can cram in the margins. There's never enough space, he's gonna end up overlapping into stuff he's already written and hate himself in the morning when he's gotta re-read it-

DESPITE ALL THIS? He does like writing stuff by hand most of the time - it kinda helps ground him? He has a bad habit of getting,, TOO caught up in his projects. When his hand starts cramping, its usually a good reminder to stop.

The only time he sticks to typing is when his tics are being A Pain In The Ass bc,, he doesn’t want to bother with having to scratch stuff out over and over again lmao

[aerequets]

hello I am obsessed with you and your mind, and I must ask you for recommendations of miraculous comics/fanfics/artist/etc because I trust your opinions and I am in love with you okay thanks

the way this made me laugh SDKLHSLHFW if i was not on my computer right now i would spam with the sparkly eye emoji (pleading emoji? idk what its called but its like O_O but less. creepy. okay im done)

i made this mini rec list a short while ago for some of my favorite fics off the top of my head. i would dig through my bookmarks on ao3, except i made it really recently and i only have like 7. rip

as for fancomics:

@hamsternamedmarinette invented comedy. literally so funny like.... how does her brain work? if you want a good laugh (like a full on belly laugh, wheezing laugh, painful laugh) this is the blog. every comic is just whiplash in the best way

@anna-scribbles draws them so soft???? AGAIN if i could use emojis YOU KNOW THE EMOJI IM TALKING ABOUT.... LIKE THE o_o CUTE ONE? her art is the personification of that. and its also so funny and the punchline always hits just righttt

@zoe-oneesama i think pretty much everyone knows about her Scarlet Lady AU, but just in case you don’t, it’s a reimagining of the show where chloe steals the ladybug miraculous from marinette and becomes a superpowered pain in the butt. it’s,,, so well done and really funny and lots of things that bother me from the show bother the author too so she fixes them LMAO 

@buggachat again, i think everyone knows about this blog but just. top tier comedy. such funniness. but also hella angst sometimes. they’ve got a baker enemies AU going on rn and its DELICIOUS. basically hawkmoth has been defeated, everyone knows it was gabriel agreste, and adrien (who was chat noir, but never revealed his identity to mari/LB) is suspected by everyone and ostracized :( this “everyone” is namely MARINETTE who thinks he’s after her bc he found out she’s the guardian and. it is a lot so i won’t try to explain it all but hopefully that gives you the gist of it LOL

@carpisuns was debating whether to put this blog under fancomics or fanart BECAUSE SHE DOES BOTH AND SHE DOES BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND SHE DOES THEM SO WELL !!!! FULLY COLORED COMICS? SONG LYRIC COMICS?? AND THE FEELS.... the feels hit you hard here. but the fluffy feels too so dw

now FANART

@rosekasa CUTE. SO CUTE. LIKE U JUST WANNA KISS THE ARTS LIKE MWAH they’re so cUUUUTEEEEE her style is like a marshmallow, it’s so fluffy and sweet and. its just so cute oh my god i have no other vocabulary for it 

@jjuuppiter artwork? ON POINT. aus? ON POINT. ANIMATIONS? SO ON POINT !!!!! THE ANIMATIONS BLOW ME AWAY you might have seen one where it was like an anime opening as miraculous? like i didnt know the anime but i cant tell you how many times i’ve rewatched that animation BECAUSE IT IS JUST SO COOL. i love it sm its crazy good

@lc-holy this is another one of the fancomic/fanart crosses because ALL HER COMICS ARE COLORED AND SO BEAUTIFUL... i put carpisuns in comics so im putting this blog under fanart, that is the only reason LOL but PLEASE CHECK THIS OUT the work she puts into the comics is amazing and you can just see it ....... so good. such good food

@picayunearts  (for some reason tumblr wasnt linking this blog so i manually did it and hopefully i did not mess it up) literally jaw dropping. their use of colors and mood setting is GORGEOUS and as a chicken-scratch artist who never colors i am so envious LMAO. it’s just like... u can just stare it at for at least six minutes straight. at least i did 

now for headcanons and stuff (there’s only 2 but i had to mention them)

@gale-gentlepenguin amazing AUs, amazing headcanons, you get the whole package, angst, comedy, fluff, NAME IT. (also amazing april fools jokes LOL)

@sariahsue lots of incorrect quotes!!! was lowkey stalking the blog to see if i could draw any LMAOOO (i think they write fics too, and im pretty sure i have read them before i had an ao3, but because im 99.9% sure and not 100% this is not under fics) 

okay this got super long and i just KNOW im missing so many blogs. these are the ones i could think of off the top of my head while im in english class (oops). i will definitely add on more when i remember them, but theres just so much TALENT IN THIS FANDOM this post could be miles long and still not include everyone 

[ve1vetyoongi]

wherever you will go | jjk

Pairing: Jungkook x female reader

Genre: actor!oc, director!jungkook, smut, angst, humour.

Word count: 21k

Summary:  Not much happens when you grow up by the coast. Tourists come and go, the theatre where you work shows the same shows over and over and there’s always sand and salt in the air. Your dreams of making it big in the city are exactly that: dreams. When your hopes of becoming an actress are shattered into a million pieces, you find yourself getting drawn to a captivating up-and-coming movie director by the name of Jeon Jungkook. With his bright eyes and charming smile, he seems determined to glue your pieces back together -- even if it means leaving Ocean City behind for good.

Warnings: themes of loss/grief, mentions of death of a parent, dom!jungkook, dom/sub themes, spanking, squirting, unprotected sex, oral sex (f recieving).

Rating: Mature.

A/N: Hello loves! HAPPY JK DAY!! This fic is a lil celebration of our golden boy Jungkook so I hope you enjoy!! This whole fic is sickeningly fluffy and reads like a pretentious YA novel but ya girl wrote this while she was stuck in quarantine a few weeks ago and I debated not posting this bc I lowkey love it lowkey hate it so pleasedonthateme if it’s bad LOL. Also -- just incase you haven’t read the warnings already there is a running theme that deals with the loss of a parent (a topic very close to my heart, hence why this piece was especially healing to write.) so reader discretion is advised if that is triggering to you in any way shape or form!!!! P.P.S Largely unedited so pls bare with any mistakes!

Prelude.

You're late for your work shift, you note, as you catch sight of your watch face glaring up at you menacingly from the arm clutching the handle bars of your bike. As if your mood couldn't get any more miserable -- the dreary morning drizzle that falls from the sky and drips icily down the back of your nape was bad enough.

Goddamn, you groan to yourself as you will your feet to pedal ever faster. Now my hair is gonna be frizzy.

It's a Saturday and the theatre where you work always opens earlier at the weekends. You promised you'd be on time today, but yet here you are, speeding down the worn in sandy sidewalks of your seaside town a whole block away when you should've been opening up half an hour ago.

It's a habit of yours, being late. And as hard as you try, you just can't change a habit. But it can't be helped you suppose. Continuity is all you've ever known. That's the thing about living in a tiny seaside town. Things never change.

The view from your bedroom window has been the same for as long as you can remember — Ocean City — Aka, block after block of rainbow coloured houses with flaky paint leading up to the harbour where boats bob nonchalantly and fishermen reel in their catches beneath the gull filled sky. Beyond it the beach; greyish rolling waves and upturned pebbles nestled atop of hard sand in the winter and clear water and brightly coloured beach towels and brave surfers in the summer.

Nobody ever leaves, and the tourists that arrive in summer never stay. Life becomes a predictable practice, just each day lived out to the next in an endless cycle of never ending continuity. It's suffocating and endless and sometimes you feel like you're just a pawn on a giant chess board, destined to move one agonising square forward at a time, never diagonally. It's hard to change directions when you've been taught to stick to what you know.

You didn't always live here, in this town of continuity. You lived in the big city for a while, where no day was the same as another. But after your mother died you and your older brother were shipped off to live with your dad, who wouldn't know the definition of adapting if it hit him square in the face. He's always been the same square shouldered, balding dude in his forties who never wanted kids and never quite got over losing your mother to the big buck actor she ran off with when you were two.

So that's how you ended up here. Late for work at your job in the country's most prized vacation spot. And your boring reality.

You roll past the beach huts on the shoreline that alternate between vibrant pink and muted blue, barely paying attention to the boardwalk with its little boat house that stretches out into the horizon like a crooked finger. When it gets dark, you can spot the pier carnival lights flashing in the distance from here as they dance across the reflection of the pale white moon and play among the waves.

Even now, the yellow lights of the ornate street lamps that line the water's front shine like tiger's eyes against the sky just like they always have when you turn down the familiar route that takes you past the winding lanes of trinket shops and the happy hour bars and the carnival that feels strangely empty at such an early hour, not a single rollercoaster ride in operation.

Before long you're skidding to a stop outside of the The Crestmont, the old theatre where you work. It's everything you'd expect from a vintage cinema; pink and blue neon lights and a gold trimmed ticket booth out front with a three-sided marquee that extends from the front of the building like a brightly lit airport runway. You hurry beneath it, grateful for the protection it provides from the rain that has started to come down in lashes now, before heading over to the rack around the back of the building where you can chain your bike.

The Crestmont used to be somewhat of a hotspot back in the day or so your told, but these days it only shows cartoons at a discounted price for the neighbourhood kids and the occasional local production of some worn out musical everyone has seen a hundred times before. It's lost all it's magic, everyone says. But you disagree; you probably spend more time here than anyone, and there's magic in every inch of this place.

From the red velvet curtains to the grand chandelier, The Crestmont is one of a kind. Sometimes you disappear into the theatre by yourself for a while unbeknownst to your manager. You can almost taste the laughter and the tears and the love that has been spilled and shared unapologetically amongst these seats. Pure magic.

Your mom left a piece of herself here, too. If you close your eyes you can hear her laughter spilling out into the theatre, or her lilting singing voice filling every nook and cranny like a haunting siren. She was the Crestmont's star. Ocean City's sweetheart.

There's a wall of fame in the lobby. It's covered in portraits crested with gold frames, all filled with pictures of the Crestmont's greatest performers. You've spent hours there — (turns out it's the perfect hiding spot from your manager) — fingers tracing the plaques beneath each one, all inscribed with names that townsfolk whisper with dreamy looks in their eyes. Some are black and white, some colour, but all of them depict pretty faces with beaming smiles that never seem to fade.

Not even your mom's. Her smile is pearly and bright, right above the plaque with her birthdate. And her death date.

And right there at the end, an empty frame. Your frame. You can feel it. You already know how you'll pose for your picture. Hair over one shoulder, hand on hip, smile so convincing that it'll be like every happiness in your heart is written right across your forehead proudly, and you won't have to dull it any longer.

You finish hooking a chain around the handlebars of your bike, catching sight of your reflection in the darkened windows. Staring back at you is a girl dressed in a maroon v-neck with a preppy dicky bow tied around her collar. You frown. The white shirt itches and the high waisted pants make your crotch look weird but the uniform is compulsory. The only thing uglier is the sour expression on your face, which you try to smooth out with your thumb, experimenting with plastering a sickly smile to your face instead. It might be convincing if your lips didn't strain and your eyes weren't so prone to rolling without your permission.

You need to learn to hide your emotions, your father said. You have your feelings written across your face. Customers don't like that.

It's true; customer's didn't usually like you, your unforgiving face or when you spilled cola down their blouse or spat in their popcorn. One more complaint and you were on the path to being fired once and for all, and although in some ways you would be glad to say goodbye to the stupid slushie machine that always gets stuck and the ungrateful customers and the goddamn uniform, you can't loose this job.

Not when it's your ticket to making it big. Then customers will point to your picture as they pass and clutch their chest with a snide superiority, Oh! Can you believe she served me a cola once? I always knew she was gonna make it! instead of Would it kill you to smile a little, honey?

So you swallow a sigh and make your smile as convincing as possible and march inside of the ornate theatre doors of The Crestmont, hoping that today may be the day where things finally change for once.

Where it begins

"I'm going to work!" You call as you you pull a baseball cap down over your hair to cover it's unbrushed wildness. "I won't be back for a while so don't wait up, okay Taehyung?"

You pause with your hand on the door, listening carefully for a response; the small house you live in pulsates with the bass of some indie rock album your brother and his friends are obsessed with at the moment, and your eyes roll when you peer up the staircase and find Taehyung's bedroom door firmly closed like always.

With a shake of your head you scribble out a message on a sticky note — GONE 2 WORK. — and leave it for him to read when he eventually emerges from his man cave in search of sustenance and finds you gone.

You brush away the funny ache that nestles in your stomach. This is nothing new. You're used to not being heard. Your dad is always gone for trips you suspect involve more play than work, and your older brother pretends he's not broken by hanging around with the neighbourhood cool kids and barraging himself in his room for days on end. Despite living under one roof it feels as though you're miles apart, an invisible barrier separating you indefinitely.

You weren't always like this; distant, always stepping on eggshells around each other. You were a family once. A happy one. But since the accident there's been an absence in this house, and nothing has been the same since.

Still, you know that beneath Taehyung's standoffish persona, he's still your big brother. He worries about you. So you tack the note to the fridge and make your way outside.

The lawn is already brown despite it only being late May, and summer is shaping up to be hot and sticky, though you live two blocks away from the beach so the coolness of the ocean still thankfully pervades against your perspiring skin, the gulls already calling you with their high pitched squaks from down at the shoreline.

You've barely made it to the end of the drive before there's the sound of knuckles rapping against glass. You look up and your heart jumps into your mouth. Staring back at you is a pair of dark eyes from behind the upstairs windowpane. Even from this distance you can see how they shine, deep and dark like a cup of black coffee, and you'd recognise the annoyingly cute smirk that matches them anywhere.

Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Taehyung's best friend, and, unfortunately, your crush for as long as you knew what the word love meant.

"Hey, Y/N!" Your heart sinks when the window slides open and a messy head of brown hair sticks out through the gap and points at you with a pout. "You're leaving already? Without me?"

Oh; another thing about Jeon Jungkook. He's also your co-worker, which means you spend 16 hours a week in his company, much to the glee of your heart and the dismay of your conscience.

You weren't exactly surprised when you turned up to the Crestmont theatre for your first shift and were left in the capable hands of none other than Jungkook to teach you the ins and the outs of the popcorn machine and the ticket booth.

For as long as you've known him he's been somewhat of a film buff. He practically grew up holding a camera. You always used watch him and your brother making home movies in the backyard, fit with ketchup sachets for blood and endless costumes from your mom's closet. And the one time you stayed at his house when your dad went away for a while after the accident, you saw all the classic movie posters on his bedroom wall; Casablanca, Singing in the Rain, Jaws. So it made total sense for Jungkook to be at the Crestmont. In fact, you couldn't imagine him anywhere else.

That day you were mostly just surprised that he knew who you were at all. While you had spent years watching him from your bedroom window while he kicked a ball around with Taehyung or avoiding his eyes at the table when he stayed for dinner, he had never so much as glanced in your direction.

Deep down you think the reason he was so quick to take you under his wing is because he knew first hand how hard the accident hit your family. You suppose he feels he owes it to Taehyung to keep you in high spirits.

Although if you weren't you and he wasn't him, you'd swear Jungkook's attentions had become almost flirtatious as of late. He always goes the extra mile to spend time with you, and you even though you know it'll end up with you getting hurt you can't bring yourself to stop him.

You see, Jungkook has a gift for subtle charm. Like how he always sneaks you sodas out back on your lunch break, never forgetting the extra syrup — tooth rottingly sweet just how you like it — slipping one of his own dollars into the cash register to avoid a telling off from your manager. Or how he insists on helping you clean up after the theatre is empty, showing you the best secret places like down the back off seats to find misplaced trinkets and the creaky floorboard where your manager hides his cigarettes. How he insists on walking you home after the evening shift, even if he says he's going this way to see Taehyung anyway.

You've spent countless hours pondering over whether his sweet talking words mean as much to him as they do to you. And as much as you know it's unlikely for someone like Jeon Jungkook to ever have feelings for you, you can't help the way your heart speeds up every time he shoots you one of his signature bunny smiles that light up his whole face like he's happiness personified. And you can't bring yourself to hate him for it.

"I did call," you respond matter of factly, finally sucking in a breath of courage to turn around and squint up at him through the afternoon sun with a shrug. "But that trash you're listening too was too loud for you guys to hear me."

Jungkook's eyes widen as he fumbles around beneath the windowsill and pops up again holding up a shiny vinyl record sleeve. You recognise it instantly; it's from his favourite film — Submarine. He hardly ever shuts up about it.

"This is not trash. This is, like, the best movie soundtrack ever made!" He shakes his head as he takes the needle off of Taehyung's vintage record player, music ceasing with a scratch, and slips it into the sleeve with a grin. "Good thing I have it downloaded so we can listen to it on the way to work, hm?"

You roll your eyes and tap your foot impatiently, and at that, Taehyung appears behind him.

"You're leaving already?" He frowns, words directed at Jungkook even as he glances through narrowed eyes at you stood awkwardly on the front lawn.

"Yup. My shift starts in twenty." Jungkook shrugs, disappearing into the room for a second before he emerges again with a backpack slung over his shoulder. "Sorry dude. I can come back afterwards though, if you want?"

Taehyung purses his lips. Even from here you can see the stress lines embedded in his forehead that make him look older than his humble age of nineteen, somehow weak unlike how you always saw him as a kid. Big and strong; untouchable; your brother.

His blunt eyes never quite meet Jungkook's as he shakes his head softly. "'S good. I was gonna try and sleep, anyway, before the sun goes down. Didn't get much shut eye last night. Not with the..."

Nightmares. Taehyung trails off, but you know that's what he's alluding to. The nightmares that turn your big strong brother into a sniffling mess in the dead of night, kicking around mercilessly until you sneak into his bed and whisper to him until he slips into slumber again. Not that you ever acknowledge it in the morning over your bowls of cereal and vacant good morning's.

"Okay." Jungkook's face momentarily falls; a rare occurrence from the boy who seems to be perpetually cheerful. He pats Taehyung on the shoulder gently. "Take care of yourself, okay man?"

Taehyung just nods, letting out a yawn as he rolls into a stretch. "See ya tomorrow."

You're jolted from your thoughts when Jungkook throws his left leg out of the window, then the other, arms bulging in just the right way where they poke out of the sleeves of his plain white tee as he climbs down the drainpipe and lands with a thump on the soles of his high top sneakers.

"Hey kiddo." He grins as he wipes the palms of his hands on the thighs of his ripped jeans, before messing up your hair despite your groan of protest.

"Don't call me that. You're only a year older than me."

You're startled when you meet the pair of warm eyes that glint golden brown in the summer evening light, chest contracting as you look away and break into a fast walk towards the street.

"And you know you can just use the front door right?"

You hear him snort behind you, neglecting to use the front gate and instead launching over the fence so he lands directly in front of you on the sidewalk.

"How am I supposed to impress my best friends little sister if I can't show off my guns?" He flexes his arm, but you just brush past him with a roll of your eyes.

"You're an idiot."

You hear the clunk of his bike chain unhooking from the gate, before a set of wheels pedal up on the sidewalk beside you. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"Uh, to work?" You offer bluntly, squinting at him through the sun. "You should be too, we start in fifteen minutes."

"I mean why are you walking? What happened to your bike?"

You roll your eyes. "Some tourist kids slashed the wheels at the beach."

"Shit. Really?" Jungkook tuts, but you don't miss the glint in his eye as he nods towards the pegs on the back of his bike that were made for carrying a passenger."Then I guess it's my lucky day. Hop on, we can ride together."

You come to a standstill, arms crossed tightly. "I'd rather walk."

"Oh come on!" He wiggles his eyebrows. "It'll take double the time if we go on foot, and I recall it being you who got a final late warning last week."

"If we go on foot?" You laugh breathily, determined to stand your ground. "Just go on ahead, I'm good here."

"Well, I'm not exactly going to leave you here alone on the side of the road now am I? So I'll be forced to walk with you. And I'm older than you remember? Look, I'm already out of breath! My legs aren't what they used to be, y'know."

"Fine!" With a pout you take the helmet resting in his front basket and hook it underneath your chin, biting your lip to stop a smile from gracing your lips at the excitement that lights up Jungkook's features. "But only because I want you to shut up."

"Your wish is my command." He says with a pat to your head. "Hold on tight, okay?"

And as you wrap your arms around his waist, you're sure his ears heat up a deep shade of red, even it could just be the evening light playing tricks on you.

The theatre at the Crestmont feels eerily quiet when its empty.

You know that because even though your shift was supposed to end at 5, you offered to stick around to help clean up after today's performance. Phantom of the Opera.

"Jesus," You groan as you pick up another sticky soda cup that someone had kindly spilled all over the ground for you to clean up, dropping the offender into a black trash bag. "Doesn't anyone around here know how to use a trash can?"

You fall into one of the theatre seats with a sigh and run your fingers over the scarlet velvet, worn yet plush, the texture soothing you instantly. You tilt your head back and let the silence engulf you. No orchestra, no musical numbers, no stage crew shouting directions. No whirring cotton candy machine. Just you and the stage.

From here you can see every detail on the high ceiling littered with renaissance-style paintings of mermaids and babies armed with heart shaped bow and arrows. Your mom was an actress. When you were a kid you used to spent hours staring at them while she rehearsed. You were convinced they came alive once the theatre closed up for the night, their cheeky smiles evidence of a secret only you knew.

A trail of rainbows is cast by the grand chandelier hung in the center, and it draws your attention all the way down the aisles and up to the stage.

The Crestmont is only small, fitting perhaps 200 people at most. It's hardly Broadway. But the fire in your chest ignites as you glance side to side before sidling up the creaking wooden steps that wind up to the Crestmont's center stage. Your favourite part of the whole theatre.

It's not the first time you've done this. You often like to come up here after everyone has gone home, even though you technically aren't supposed to. There's a certain magic about being alone up here as you collect the lone roses that were thrown on stage by tonight's audience. Breathing in the musty smell of butter popcorn that lingers on the velvet curtains, feel the warmth of the bright stage lights glazing your skin. Something about it feels like home.

The first time you ever saw the Crestmont stage was on tv, watching a grainy camera shakily capture your mom in the very same spot you find yourself right now.

Your mom used to have a cardboard box filled with her old audition tapes. Everything from Hamlet to A Streetcar Named Desire, she'd starred in it, and you spent hours together in front of the television set trying to memorise the way she spoke your favourite lines and listening to her lilting voice recite backstage anecdotes about her rendezvous with foreign directors who dined on her in Paris or underground parties with celebrities you had never even heard of as she stroked your hair.

It wasn't until you got a little older that you realised that, just like you, your mom was a dreamer. Sure, she'd visited a couple different states and starred in some makeup commercials once, and that was enough to make her a celebrity in a town as small as this.

But really? She was just a small town actress with dreams larger than herself and way larger than the Crestmont where she made her name. And suddenly the gaps in time where she would disappear for weeks — sometimes months — on end no longer made sense to you. If she wasn't drinking cocktails with the prince of Monaco or clubbing in London, then where was she?

"Down town with those no good roadies," Taehyung told you once. "They made all these empty promises. Told her she'd make it big if she just did what they said. But look how that turned out."

That was the day you realised your mom was a better actress than you ever knew.

She always thought that her dreams would come true. She believed it so hard that you believed it too, naively. But who knows? Maybe they would have if she didn't get into an accident on her way to New York for her big break.

It's easy to imagine how your mom felt up here. She always looked so alive and free in those VHS tapes as she danced effortlessly across the stage with an ethereal weightlessness, the theatre silent except for the melodic sweetness of her monologues that drew tears to the eyes of those who listened eagerly.

If you close your eyes you can hear the roar of the crowd, hands clapping furiously. The orchestra tuning their brass in the pit, bows melodic against strings. Flowers landing at your feet. The deep breath of satisfaction as you take your final bow and the curtain closes.

Just like that you're moving across the stage, reciting the lines you know so well...

"You're gonna be a star like me some day," A voice whispers against your ear, soft and gentle. A memory. Your mom. "Just like me."

And just like that, she's there. In the audience, clapping. For you. And you feel invincible.

The sound of applause breaks you out of your trance. Real applause. You find yourself stood center stage, broom in hand, staring out at row after row of empty seats that gape with the same emptiness that was here when you arrived.

Except one of the velvet lined seats is filled now. Right at the front.

"Encore!" Jungkook whistles, the harsh thwacks of his palms clapping together clanging inside your ears. "Do it again! That was amazing!"

Your chest seizes painfully, a sudden bout of panic turning your blood cold. You feel the colour leave your face. How long has he been here? How long has he been watching?

Jungkook is watching you attentively, eyes soft at the edges with wonder. It makes bile rise in your throat. You can't be up here. Not when there's a pair of eyes looking at you, judging.

"I..." You begin, but the words get caught in your throat.

"I can't do this."

The way Jungkook's eyes widen and he lurches forward to catch you is the last thing you see before your vision goes black.

The boardwalk is strangely quiet for a summer evening. It's happy hour so you suppose most vacationers are already in the bars in their I LOVE OCEAN CITY T-shirts drinking cocktails or whatever. Not that you're complaining.

The smell of hotdogs and vinegar from the vans that line the strip still fill the air, snatches of conversations from children begging their parents to let them go on the waltzer one last time barely audible above the tinkling bells of the carousel. The ride operators drink soda's as they fan themselves with rolled up newspapers, grateful for the gentle hubbub on such a sticky evening, and then there's you, caught up in the middle of it all.

The wooden boards of the pier are warm against he backs of your thighs. You're sat with your legs dangling through the peeling guard rail that lines the strip. It was painted pastel blue at some point but years of sea spray and grubby hands made it fade to a sickly green tinge that matches the ocean.

Speaking of, the ocean would usually be directly below your feet, murky and wild, but today the tide has receded right back to reveal a large strip of sand. The stands suspending the pier rest on top of it so that you could walk right under and around them if you wanted to. You and Taehyung used to do that all the time when you were kids. Searching for barnacles. Exploring the dark places.

"Here. Eat up. You totally passed out on me back there. You could probably do with some sugar."

The soft voice beside you is the only thing loud enough to permeate your daydreams. You don't have look up to know who it belongs to. Jungkook.

He peers down at you, sun beating down against his back. He's holding two vanilla ice cream cones, double scooped, and he thrusts one into your hands before mirroring your position at the edge of the boardwalk.

The walk down here from the Crestmont was more or less silent, and your stomach twists now you realise Jungkook wants to talk.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." You lie. The ice cream is cold and sweet and covers the bitterness. "I just think it's funny."

Jungkook's tongue sneaks out to lick up the melted cream dribbling down his cone. "What is?"

"How this place stays the same but I feel so different." You were born here, raised here. This place was your whole life once, with it's salty air and bustling casino's. But since the accident, something's been bubbling inside you, swelling and crashing like the ocean below that taunts you and you've never felt farther from home in your life as you do now, looking out over the town that just won't budge, just like the funny ache in your chest. "Forget I said it. I don't know why I'm even telling you this."

Jungkook fidgets beside you and runs a hand through his hair with a sigh."It's okay, y'know. To miss her."

Your mom. You know that's who he means. Just the mention of her stings.

"Mhm." You snort. "Tell that to my family. If we all carried on missing mom then we'd be in pretty hot shit by now."

"If it's Taehyung you're worried about, then don't be. He's stronger than he looks."

"Until he's not anymore. And we lose him again just like—" You pause. You hate how you can hear the pain in your voice so you smooth it out. "Just like before. And I can't let that happen. I won't."

Jungkook shifts. As Taehyung's oldest friend he was there for everything in the aftermath of the accident. He was there when you put on a brave face for the sake of your family. He was there when Taehyung couldn't be any more.

"That doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. Think about it this way. The ocean isn't always this calm right?" He gazes wistfully out over the ocean that swells and crashes against the shore, fingers twirling the gold chain around his neck. "Last winter when we had that huge storm, the waves were so big they smashed right through the pier support beams."

You furrow your brows. "What about it?"

"The ocean was just too much for the pier to bare and it would've come crashing down forever if half the neighborhood didn't come down to the beach in the dead of night, despite the rain, and hold it together until the storm calmed and the emergency repair boats could get to shore."

It's true. You remember how unforgiving the rain was as it pelted down against your back and froze you through to the bone that night as each and every familiar face from your neighborhood came down to the seafront to lend a hand, your family included.

Jungkook was there too. He was the one who knocked on your door in the early hours to spread the word. He got given free churros for life by one of the pier stall owners as a reward.

"What I'm trying to say Y/N, is that Taehyung has you to lean on, right? So who do you have?" Jungkook says, staring at you head on now. His sincerity almost makes you blush.

You bite your lip. Deep down you know that your beams are just as broken as Taehyung's and it's only a matter of time before they come crashing down into the water, and this time there'll be nobody to hold the pieces together.

"I don't need anyone. I'm just fine on my own. I can handle my ocean."

Jungkook brushes your hand. You flinch, so he pulls it back into his lap. "Well if you ever need a life boat, then you know where I am okay?"

You don't believe him, but he's staring at you so expectantly that you just tell him what he wants to hear. You're good at that.

"Okay." You whisper. "Okay."

Children's laughter bubbles up from the beach. You watch their distant silhouettes dancing among the waves. It's Jungkook who breaks the silence before it settles between you and becomes uncomfortable.

"Anyway, what were you doing up there on the stage today?" He smiles, like he's trying to lighten the mood. "You looked like you were having the time of your life before—"

You feel your cheeks start to burn. How long had Jungkook been watching you at the Crestmont? Had he seen the whole thing?

"It was nothing. I was just being dumb."

"Nothing?" Jungkook cocks his head to the side and punches you playfully. "It didn't seem like nothing."

"It just...it makes me feel close to my mom when I'm on the stage." You admit. "I loved watching her when I was a kid. She was always larger than life in my eyes. She had this way of making you really believe she was someone else. It was like she wasn't just acting -- she was becoming. Sometimes...sometimes I think I liked her better when she was in character."

You shake your head with a small smile. "I like me better when I'm in character. I used to dream about going to New York one day and becoming an actress just like she wanted to. Small town girl making it big in the city and all that." You scoff. "But I'm nothing like her. It's just fun to pretend sometimes."

"You're good. At performing. Like, really good." Jungkook's eyes are wide. When he places a hand on your forearm you don't shake it off this time. "You take after her. Everyone says it."

It's true. There's one photo of your mom in the house. It's in Taehyung's room. When you were younger you thought it was your face staring back at you from behind the glass. Sometimes you'll be walking down the boardwalk or serving soda's at work and you'll hear the whispers. See their heads turn. Is it her?

"Pfft. Looks mean nothing." You scoff. "She was fearless. I can't even speak in front of one person without passing out, let alone a crowd."

Realisation crosses Jungkook's face. "Oh. So that's what happened back there? Stage fright?"

"Uh huh." You roll your eyes. "So don't give me the follow your dreams spiel or whatever."

"Hmm." Jungkook uses his arms as a makeshift pillow so he can lay back against the ground. You mirror him, peering through your fingers to watch how the golden rays of the sun swallow his frame. "Remember that play they made us do in middle school?"

"The Nativity?" You raise your eyebrow. It was the first theatre production you were in, before the accident and way before you had stage fright.

"Yeah." He grins. "I was the sheep. Taehyung made fun of me for months afterwards because of that stupid costume my grandma made."

"Yeah." You snort. "You did look sorta dumb."

Jungkook bumps your arm with a playful pout that makes you giggle. "And do you remember how I forgot my lines on stage and nearly pissed myself with stage fright? God, I still remember how mad my dad looked in the front row. We'd practiced that part for weeks. I don't know why it happened. I just froze—" A small smile forms on his lips. "But you didn't. Next thing I know there's a kid in a gold star of Bethlehem costume running on stage to recite my lines for me. You stole the show, remember that? Everyone loved you."

"That was then." You murmur, but you can't suppress the smile tugging at the corners or your mouth. "I'm not the same person."

"You were a year younger than the rest of my class but you auditioned anyway, because you knew that you were the only person who could play the star. Because you were a star."

Jungkook turns so that his head rests on his elbow and you're suddenly so close you can feel his breath ghost across your cheek. Your heart pumps in your ears as you gaze dips down to his rosy lips and back up to his sparkling eyes which bore into yours.

"You still are a star."

The words echo in your ears, soft and sincere. His tongue snakes out to wet his lips. You lose your breath. And then you jump away, placing a safe distance between your bodies before you can do something you regret.

"And what about you. Are you still a sheep?" You tease, turning your face so he can't see how it burns rosy red.

"Nah. Figured out pretty quickly after that that I was better off behind the camera." He chuckles.

"Oh right. You still have that thing?" You nod to the camera in his lap. It's one of those old ones that looks like the type that needs a film reel and a projector, but it's been modified so there's a little viewfinder at the side to check the footage instead. "Can I see?"

"What?" Jungkook blinks.

"Some of the stuff you've filmed?"

"Oh! Right!" It's his turn to flush now, scratching the back of his neck as he anxiously thrusts the camera into your hands and pays close attention to the hangnail at the edge of his thumb as you watch the footage.

Your eyes widen when a familiar scene rolls out on the tiny screen. You, on stage at the Crestmont. Jungkook filmed you.

"This is..."

"You." He rushes."Yeah, I know. Sorry if this is awkward—"

"No. Not at all. I just—" You watch in awe as the you inside the camera moves across the stage with an effortless grace. How the lights make your eyes shine and your skin brighter than you remember it being in the mirror this morning. "How did you do that?"

Jungkook's forehead creases. "Do what?"

"Make me look like...that."

"I didn't do anything." Jungkook shrugs. "That's just how I see you."

You could listen to him say that all day, but you stop yourself mid swoon.

"Don't say things you don't mean."

"I do mean it. And I'll show you." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"How?"

He grabs your hand and squeezes it. Tight. "I don't know how yet but I will."

You roll your eyes. "Good luck, Jeon."

"You know I like a challenge." Jungkook laughs, and the melodic sound goes right to your chest. "I'll make you see yourself how I see you. Just wait."

"Since when did you have four wheels?" You call to Jungkook with a quirk of your brow, resting your elbows on the window ledge of the beat up truck he pulls up in outside the Crestmont.

It's a sticky August afternoon and the rusty red vehicle purrs— or more like splutters — in the parking lot as Jungkook untangles your bike from the rack and lifts it into the cargo bed like it's weightless. Just yesterday he came by with his pump and a patch to fix that goddamn slashed tyre, and now he's stealing it?

"Hey! What are you doing with my bike?"

He is clad in nothing but a white vest and board shorts, and you can see perspiration glimmering at his temples as the salty breeze blowing from the beach ruffles the dark curls that flop over his forehead.

"This is my dad's truck," His eyes flash with pride as he hops into the open drivers side door and makes the engine growl. He nods to the empty seat beside him and pushes his dark round sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, fanning his face with his hands. "And you won't be needing your bike today. Now hurry up and get in, loser. I've been waiting ages for your shift to finish and the AC is broken."

You raise a brow. "We're going somewhere?"

"Yeah. Why else would I be waiting for you to get in my truck?"

"I mean, we're going somewhere in this?" You nod towards the truck's worn tires, the fumes that wisp from the exhaust pipe like a lit cigar. "Are you sure it's safe?"

Jungkook notices the way you bite your lip. You don't even have to tell him the worries that are running through your mind. It's as if he can read them like an open book.

"Are you still scared of riding in cars?" He questions, softly.

You nod. That's what an accident does to someone. Makes them scared of something they ordinarily wouldn't even question.

"A little." The breeze ruffles your hair and you hide behind it. "I'm getting better." You add, so he doesn't feel bad because you know he does. His face tells you as much.

"It's a short drive, if that helps." He rushes. "And I asked Taehyung and he said you'd be okay, but if you aren't then I can just walk you home—"

"No." You shake your head firmly. There's a funny fizzing in your stomach that's been there ever since that day on the boardwalk, and it's only growing stronger and stronger now you're inches away from Jungkook and his warm eyes and gentle smile. You don't want it to end just yet. It's enough to outweigh the wriggling fear that's always inside you just a little. "Where are we going?"

Jungkook's face lights up and your heart flips when you realise it's because of you.

"I told you I was gonna make you see what I see, didn't I?"

"Oh that was today?" You tease. "Must have missed it it in the calendar."

"Stop asking questions! Just get in. Please?"

"Fine." You walk around to the passenger door, sliding in beside him and throwing your bag into the back seat. "But I need to be home by midnight or Taehyung will worry."

"No problemo." Jungkook salutes as he switches on the engine and the truck roars to life. You clasp your hands tightly in your lap and breathe through your nose. You're okay. You're safe."Home by midnight. It's a promise."

You gaze out of the window to stop your thoughts from running wild. Jungkook turns left, away from town and the beach and everything familiar. You watch it get smaller and smaller in the mirrors, strangely relieved. Strangely excited.

"Now will you tell me where we're going?" You ask.

"Nope." Jungkook chuckles when you pout. "Just sit back. Relax. Take in the view. Listen to the music."

He leans across the dash, making a point to keep his eyes on the road as he fiddles with the stereo. A familiar string of guitar chords fill the truck. You recognise them, even if vaguely. Probably from Taehyung's vast collection of records.

"The Beatles right?" You ask, resting your chin on your knee as you dare to take a peek at him, blushing when you find him already staring at you.

"Pfft, yeah. Of course it's The Beatles! Only their greatest soundtrack, like, ever."

You shrug. "I've never listened to them before, so I wouldn't know."

"Oh come on? You haven't seen A Hard Day's Night?" His eyes widen when you shake your head. "Super Fly? Pulp Fiction? Purple Rain?"

You stifle a giggle at the look of pure shock he's sending you. "Nope. Should I have?"

"Absolutely!" He splutters. Passion shines in his eyes. "You're missing out on some of the greatest cinematography known to man!"

"I guess you have a lot to fill me in on, then."

"I sure do." His eyes soften. "Open the glove box."

You open it. Inside you find an assortment of cassette tapes, old and new. You send him a curious look.

"Close your eyes and choose one." He nods. "Go on."

You do as he says and shut your lids tightly, feeling around until your fingers curl around a tape you're strangely drawn to. When you open your eyes you find a worn box in your palm, yellow at the edges, and you're momentarily disappointed until Jungkook hums in approval beside you.

"Good choice! Dirty Dancing. A classic." He takes it from you and slides the tape into the stereo. It crackles a little before the music starts. "Trust me, you'll love it."

The stereo tracklist flashes amber. 01: Do You Love Me?

"You broke my heart 'cause I couldn't dance," Jungkook sings along in a deep voice, eyebrows bouncing as you loll your head to the side to send him an eye roll. "And now I'm back to let you know I can really shake 'em down!"

The song starts, all vibrant guitar and drums. It has a funky 60's groove, like it belongs in a swing dancing club instead of on the highway at sunset. It's a happy song and you think it suits Jungkook just right.

Speaking of Jungkook, he starts to bob his head in time with the beat, fingertips tapping in rhythm against the steering wheel. He looks adorably dorky, losing himself to the song, like he's forgotten you're even sat beside him.

"You look like an idiot." You deadpan, though you can't cover the laugh that escapes you as he sings along louder.

"No, I look like I'm having fun!" Jungkook rolls down the window and turns up the music so loud he has to shout for you to hear him. "Don't you ever do this? Just give in to the music for a while? Let your body do what it wants?"

"Uh, no. I prefer to just listen." You shout back. "Besides, your body should be focused on driving this car right now--"

"Oh come on! Just try it."

"Try it?" You blink, stomach suddenly knotting."Like now? In front of you?"

"Well duh. Look. Copy me."

He starts to shake his shoulders from side to side, fingers clicking as he nods for you to do the same.

"I...okay." You start to copy, but you catch yourself in the rear view mirror and you just look stiff compared to how effortlessly Jungkook moves to the rhythm.

"See you're doing it!" Jungkook grins, throwing his head back. "Feels good huh?"

"Kinda..." You have to admit there is something liberating about just letting go. "Like this?"

Your knees volunteer themselves to the beat, and then your arms, and before you know it you've got your eyes closed, hair whipping around your face as you speed down the interstate

"That's it. Feel the music!"

Before you know it, the song ends and you realise all at once that you're laughing. Loud and free, enough to make your belly hurt. Jungkook is too, the sound better than any song you've ever heard, and neither of you can seem to stop.

"Oh my god." You pant, covering your face with your fingers, embarrassed. "Now we both look like idiots."

"Don't hide from me." Jungkook bites his lip. You're suddenly aware of how close he is. His arms grab your wrists, pulling them away from your face, but he doesn't drop the one closest to him. Instead he links your fingers and uses your shared grip to change the gear as he turns down a winding road.

"I'm shy." You say, and you can feel the heat in your cheeks.

"Why? You're beautiful." Jungkook puts the car into park. You realise all at once that you've been driving for ages and you didn't even panic once. "Besides, we've arrived. And you're not gonna wanna miss seeing this."

The destination Jungkook seems so excited about turns out to be a concrete parking lot.

"Where are we, Jungkook?" You ask, looking around but finding nothing but tyre tracks and dirt.

Jungkook has already hopped out of the drivers side, sliding over the hood of the car to tug open your door with a quirk of his brow.

He holds out his palm, upturned and calloused. "Do you trust me?"

You bite your lip, heart pounding. Do you trust him?

Your body speaks for you and you slide your hand into his. His thumb traces your knuckles reassuringly.

"Yes." You breathe. "I trust you."

"Good."

You yelp when an arm wraps around your waist and hoists you out of the car, tightly interlocked fingers blocking your vision like a makeshift blindfold. "Don't open your eyes until I tell you to."

"Okay." You giggle, feet stumbling as you try to find your balance with the help of a sturdy hand beneath your elbow.

Jungkook hums gently beneath his breath as he guides you up a path that turns from concrete to loose rock to dampened grass beneath the soles of your beat up sneakers. There's a voice in the back of your mind that tells you to be nervous; who knows where he could be taking you right now.

But as you breathe in the musty notes of his cologne and feel your heart flutter in your chest when he comes to a stop and rests his chin on your shoulder, just close enough to feel his laugh ghost across your neck, you don't care where in the world you are right now as long as it's beside him.

"Now, open."

The sun is startlingly bright when you open your eyes for the first time and see the vibrant meadow that stretches as far as you can see.

Wait — that's not the sun. It's sunflowers. Clusters of them, cheerfully waving with the breeze from where you stand on the path that continues for a few steps before it disappears among their stems.

The sunflowers are a burst of golden colour against the fading green of the meadow, and the horizon beyond that which boasts the silhouette of beach rock against the soft blue of the ocean at sunset. There's tracks here and there where the uncut grass is trampled, like some children had played hide and seek.

You reach out a hand and brush your fingertips over the velvety petals; breathe in the botanical scent of the fresh sunny blooms that dances through the meadow. It's breathtaking, you think. There's no coordination, just freedom choreographed by the wind as the tall stems sway back and forth in their gentle dance.

Before you know it you've taken off into a run, grinning with childlike glee when the tall grass tickles your nose and the sun whispers against your neck.

"Jungkook, this place is—"

"Beautiful right?" You nod breathlessly, blushing deeply when you come to a stop and find him staring right at you. He squeezes your hand and that's when you notice your fingers are still interlinked. "I come here a lot. When I need to think."

"How did you find this place?"

"Taehyung and I stumbled upon it a few summers ago by accident." He says. "Nobody knows about it. It's our secret."

"It's so beautiful." You whisper. "The whole world needs to see this."

Jungkook kicks at a stone with the toe of his boot. "I kinda like it being a secret. This place...is special to me."

"Then why...." The words get caught in your throat. You swallow and try again. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I wanted to show you the things I find most beautiful. Remember?"

"The sunflowers?"

"Well yeah..." He scratches the back of his neck. Swallows thickly, like he's preparing himself. "But I was thinking of something a little different..."

You close your eyes, a smile appearing on your lips as you let the crisp breeze caress your face. "Then what?"

There's a sharp click of a shutter, and when your lashes flutter open in surprise, Jungkook is shaking a Polaroid picture back and forth, his eyes glinting with something mischievous.

"Hey! Give me that—" You reach for the Polaroid, stomach churning with a sudden shyness that makes you hug your arms.

"Just — don't do that okay?" He holds it out of reach, pleading with his eyes. "Please."

"Do what?"

"Give up on what makes you happy just because you're scared." His palm cups your cheek. "You said it yourself. Being in front of the camera is where you belong. Don't you see that?"

"I'm not scared." You feel the heat rise in your cheeks when Jungkook sends you a knowing look. "Okay maybe I am scared. And so what if I am? You've already given me the face your fears spiel and I told you. I'm perfectly happy avoiding every camera known to man for the rest of my life if it means I never have to face them."

"But you've already faced one of your fears today. You got in my car, remember?" He raises an eyebrow, smug. "Well, two technically, 'cause you're here with me now and I know how nervous you used to get around me--"

"Did not!"

"Do too! Every time we talk outside of work you get all shy and--"

"Shut up."

"See! You're doing it right now!"

You don't know what compels you to do it. Maybe it's the heat rising in the apples of your cheeks or the way your heart quickens when Jungkook closes the gap between you, but before you can stop yourself you're reaching up and grasping his face with both hands.

"Oh just shut up and kiss me, doofus."

The smug smirk on Jungkook's face is replaced with wide eyed surprise, his lips falling still for a moment when yours crash against his. But then his steady hands find your waist and he supports you on your tip toes so he can pull you ever closer, melting into the plush press of your lips.

When you pull back, you're smiling. You can't help it. You've been dreaming of this moment since, like, middle school. And goddamn, he even tastes how you imagined. Like black coffee and toothpaste.

"See." He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "Happiness suits you."

"Whatever, Jeon." You smirk. "Don't let it go to your head, but it's thanks to you."

Jungkook flashes you the biggest bunny grin you've ever seen, eyes sparkling at your words.

"Wait...stay like that." He reaches for his camcorder in his backpack and points the lens at you. The smile falls from your lips. You place a hand on his arm, grip tighter than you intended.

"Jungkook stop."

"What's wrong? Just keep smiling like that, the shot was perfect—"

"I don't know what to do." You shrug, the lens boring into you like a judgy aunt at Thanksgiving dinner. "The camera makes me nervous."

"Just pretend I'm not here."

You sniff. "I don't want you to not be here..."

"Listen," Jungkook cups your face, thumbs tracing your cheeks fondly. "The reason I brought you here? It's because this place reminds me of you. Beautiful."

"Jungkook--"

"Just like you said, the world needs to see this place. Just like they need to see you."

"I..." Your heart is on the verge of exploding, you would swear it. "Okay." The word rolls off your tongue before you can stop it because somehow you trust him. And deep down, there's still that fizz of excitement mixing in with all the nervousness. The Jungkook Effect. You don't want to lose it to the darkness like everything else.

"I'll try. Just-- don't laugh at me okay?"

"You have my word, sarge." He salutes with a thoughtful grin. "Hold on a sec. I know exactly what you need to get you going."

Jungkook jumps to his feet and you watch with your chin tucked between your knees as he jogs down the rocky path and opens all four of the truck doors, even the trunk, before his head disappears into the vehicle and the same pumping bass from earlier starts blasting into the quiet serene of the sunflower field.

"There," He grins as he returns, out of breath, and sits back down beside you cross legged, holding his camcorder to his eye. "Now do what you were doing before again, but over there. Just pretend you're on stage at the Crestmont, okay?"

You feel the music wash over you and the urge to move hits you like a wave. Jungkook nods encouragingly and there's something in his eyes that flips a switch inside you. And for the first time in a long time, all the passion and spirit and feeling inside you fizzes up to the top and you can't contain it any longer.

"That's it!" Jungkook calls, shutter clicking uncontrollably. "I knew you could do it!"

An oak tree provides sun-flecked shade, a cool sanctuary from the sun that sets on the horizon and splashes the sky's canvas magenta.

Jungkook laid out a checkered blanket from the trunk of his truck which you both lay upon, shoulders pressed together as close as humanly possible, surrounded by your devoured picnic consisting of his mom's fruit punch and bags of snacks he took from the concession stand at the Crestmont when nobody was looking.

"Holy shit, Y/N." He says through a mouthful of popcorn, jabbing his finger at his favourite shot of you in front of the sunflowers. "This is what I've been saying! You're a natural in front of the camera."

"No, you're amazing, Jungkook." You feel for his hand. It's funny how natural it feels already when his pinky links with yours. "Behind the camera."

"You think?" He chews his lip, eyes searching yours for approval.

"I know. You should do something with these. People need to see them."

"I'm thinking of becoming a filmographer, actually"

"Like at the pier?" You think of the tacky photo booth that overlooks the sea in town, fit with all the silly cardboard cut outs that tourists come and take a photo with for a dollar.

"No, I mean a real filmographer." He shrugs, and you're sure there's a trace of a blush on his cheeks. "Y'know. Movies and stuff."

You nod. It makes sense for Jungkook to spend his life with a camera glued to his right hand. You can't imagine Jungkook anywhere else, and you have to ignore the sinking feeling that comes with the realisation that he would eventually leave Ocean City -- and you -- behind for the big screen.

"Well you bet your ass I'll be front row to watch each and every one, Jeon Jungkook."

"My lucky star." Jungkook smiles.

"Always."

He must see the sadness brimming inside you, his body shuffling closer so your knees brush. It's reassuring somewhat.

"Actually...there's something I should tell you."

He shifts under your gaze. The nerves rush back. "What is it?"

"I guess I finished writing my first screenplay..."

"That's like a movie script, right?" You ask eagerly, and he nods. "That's great, Kook!"

"Yeah, it's great it's just --" He pauses, and clutches your hand tighter like he's scared what he says next will make you let go forever. "It's about you."

You pale. "M-me?"

"I mean, it's about you and...and Taehyung! And your mom." Jungkook rushes. "I was inspired by your story at the boardwalk and it just happened! I'm sorry, I know you probably hate me now and think I'm crazy but--"

"Burn it." You deadpan.

Jungkook blinks. "W..what?"

"I said burn it." You pull his hand into your lap and he lets out a sigh of relief. "I don't hate you, Kook. I just think you were right earlier when you said I need to face my fears. And the only way I can do that is by forgetting my past. The last thing I need is a whole freaking movie about it."

He joins in with your strained chuckles. "Sure you aren't mad?"

"Not mad." You assure with a smile.

"Then I'll burn it."

You avoid his gaze shyly. "I'm kinda honoured you wrote about me, though." You admit.

"I guess...I guess I could call you my muse." Jungkook blurts hurriedly. His nose is a deep shade of pink and it makes you want to tease him forever.

"Yeah." You nod to yourself with a smile. "I like that. Your muse."

And then his lips are on yours again, like he can't quite help himself, and you start to forget where yours begin and his end.

This time it's not delicate and sweet. It's slow and languid, hot and heavy. The sunflowers break your fall, Jungkook's lips never leaving yours as he climbs on top of you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other planted beside your head so that his chest hovers above yours. You're almost certain he can feel how hard your heart is pounding in your chest, but you don't care, too lost in the bliss of finally feeling Jungkook's plush lips against your own.

"Come to New York with me." He says breathlessly between kisses, and your heart stops.

"What?" You can hardly drag your lips away from his but you have to be sure you heard him right. New York?

"I mean, in the future. I'm gonna go to New York. Get a job at a film production company or something, I don't know--" He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. "Come with me."

"I...I can't."

"Why?" He frowns. "Is it me?"

"No! God no."

"Then why? You said it was your dream right?" You nod. "So what's stopping you?"

"I..I have to take care of Taehyung, and my job at the Crestmont and--"

"Okay. Lets pretend none of that exists. It's just you and me." His breath ghosts against your forehead. "Y/N, will you come to New York with me?"

"Yes." It comes out breathless, but you mean it. With every atom and nerve and fiber in your body. "Lets go to New York."

Where things change.

3 years later.

A postcard sits on the Welcome Home! Doormat you and Jungkook bought before you left for New York. You recognise the picture perfect image of Ocean City on the front, and Taehyung's messy scrawl on the back that tells you he's doing fine at his new management job at the Crestmont and he will be sending a housewarming gift imminently.

— Stay smiling, Y/N. Miss you already! Taehyung. :)

With a small smile you tack it onto the bare fridge. It brightens up the empty kitchen somewhat, a little piece of home and a reminder that you don't need to worry about leaving your brother behind to fend for himself so much any more. Since he pulled his life together and got a job at the theatre, it's like he came alive again. Found his purpose.

Speaking of purposes, you suppose that's how you found yourself here. In your very own apartment in a nice complex on the east side. The east side of New York City.

There's a pair of satin curtains hung over the balcony doors, probably left behind by the old tenant as it's the only form of furniture in the whole apartment. They rustle in the morning breeze and you tiptoe across the room barefoot to rip them open, letting your eyes flutter shut when the early morning sun filters through the glass and cascades over your face like a warm embrace.

You press a hand to the glass, studying your reflection; the messy lump of hair atop your head, the soft shadow of your lashes atop your cheeks. And beyond it, New York. Your new normal in all it's familiar glory from your dreams, yet still so deliciously foreign it makes your heart leap whenever a cab horn rings out in the distance or you breathe in the smell of fresh bagels from the shop down the street.

Home. You could finally call it that now. But New York is just a city and this apartment is just a house. The real reason you get to call this place home is because of who you came here with.

Jungkook.

You've been dating for two and a half years by now. He let you borrow one of his old much-too-big t-shirts to sleep in last night. There's a hole in the shoulder and the hem brushes your knees but it's warm and smells like his cologne and your heart expands when you close your eyes and remember this is just the beginning. You have so much to do, so many things to see here in New York. So many things to learn. And there's nobody you would want to explore life with more than Jungkook.

His camera equipment lays in a cardboard box by your feet, and something compels you to take out the old-school camcorder he loves. The leather strap tightens perfectly around your hand and the red RECORD button flashes as you open the doors wide and lift the lens to take in the view. Something tells you you're gonna want to remember this moment forever.

It's not long before a pair of arms wrap around your waist, chin tucked cheekily into your shoulder. "There you are." Jungkook husks, stilly groggy with sleep as his lips ghost across your cheek.

Turning around in his grasp, you find him still shirtless, sweatpants slung low around his hips. He's been working out recently, and you can't deny you don't love how firm his shoulders feel when you brace yourself on them to stand on your tip toes and leave a peck to his lips.

"Morning sleepyhead," you say, running your fingers through the strands of his silky bed hair. It's longer these days, whispering across the nape of his neck and falling across his round eyes sweetly. They flutter closed when you massage his scalp just how he likes it. "I was wondering when you'd finally get out of bed."

"Missed you." His lips turn up when he sees the camera pointed at his face. "Whaddya doing with that?"

"Making memories." You say simply, zooming in on him as he rubs his sleepy eyes. "So we never forget this."

A cheeky smirk appears on his lips as he wraps you in his arms, a surprised giggle leaving you when he spins you around and grabs the camera so he can point it at the both of you, his chin resting on your shoulder now as his bare arm snugly wraps around your waist.

"Hey stop! I just woke up, I look bad!"

"Hello us of the future," Jungkook chuckles, pulling your fingers away from your face when you bury your face in his chest to hide from the lens. "It's our first day in New York and Y/N is being all camera shy--okay, okay fine, lets show them the view instead!"

Jungkook finally flips the lens around so it focuses on the distant silhouettes of tall skyscrapers skimming the blue skyline, before he turns it back onto you guys once more with a mischievous look this time.

"But we have to go now because we have far more interesting business to attend to..." He lowers the camera as his lips start to trail up your collar bone and he smiles when your eyes flutter shut and you gasp at the feeling, but it's quickly replaced by a pout when you wriggle out of his embrace with a stern look.

"Not now. Later."

"Mmf? Why?" He whines, making grabby hands towards you. "You're so warm, jus' wanna cuddle for a bit."

"No time!" You call over your shoulder as you grab him by the hand and drag his heavy feet behind you. "We've got an apartment to decorate."

Before you know it you've enlisted Jungkook's help in laying tarps across the living room floor, two pots of bright white paint plonked in the center. It's not like you could afford a decorator after all. You are two broke twenty-something's trying to make it big in New York, and all that cliche stuff. So you would just have to do it yourselves.

Jungkook's over in the corner, miming along to the guitar solo from some rock song playing from the radio balanced on the windowsill, the paint roller his instrument as he dances around the room with giddy impulse. There's paint all over his butt where he accidentally leaned against one of the wet walls and he's got his hair tied back into a bun at the crown of his head and you watch him out of the corner of your eye while an affectionate smile creeps onto your face no matter how hard you try to curb it.

That's when you notice the camera in his other hand. He zooms in on the stepladder in the corner, the paint spillage in the hall, the heart with Y/N + JUNGKOOK FOREVER written inside it on the back wall. Documenting everything as usual.

He was always filming you, too. Whether you were making coffee in the morning or drying your hair. He'd even slow down beside you on the sidewalk to get the perfect shot.

You find it cute, even though you pretend to hate it. It makes your heart flutter every time you catch him rewinding the footage with a contented smile on his face, like he just captured the whole world with his lens.

It's no surprise when you finish putting the final coat on the wall and step back to admire your handy work that you find him wandering around the apartment with his hand curved around the lens of one of his bigger cameras like it's natural to him. You always joke that thing is like an extra limb, but he looks so calm as he looks through his lens at the room that is now drunk on the afternoon sun pouring through the window, the golden rays like honey on his skin, that it's easy to see that the camera really is a part of him. Passion lies in the soft lines of concentration on his face, in the plump lip tugged between teeth as he fiddles with the settings.

Jungkook sees beauty where others don't, where others can't. It might as well pump through his veins. And it's one of the reasons you love him so much.

You shake your head when you see how a small smile finds his lips when he leans a shoulder against the door frame and lets the camera land on the thing he swears is most beautiful.

"Hey." You warn, shooting a side wards glare at the camera lens you spot Jungkook not so discreetly pointing in your direction. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" He runs a hand through his hair, lips pulling back into a sly bunny smile when you bend down to reach a spot you missed at the bottom of the wall. "I'm not doing anything."

Your upper lip twitches. "Are you zooming in on my ass?"

"What? No!" Jungkook scrunches his nose with wide eyes, a habit you knew meant he was guilty, a pout forming on your lips as he snaps the viewfinder closed and shoves the offending piece of his equipment behind his back.

You narrow your eyes affectionately. "Perv."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He blows a strand of hair out of his face innocently but there's a playful glint in his eyes and you can hardly keep a serious face as you plant your hands on your hips in what you hope is a menacing manner.

"Then lemme see it." You challenge with a nod to the camera behind him.

He feigns indifference, cocking his head to the side like an overgrown puppy. "See what?"

"That's it!" You shake your head, charging towards and him making grabby motions towards the camera. Jungkook looks down at you fondly as he holds it above your head, out of reach, and it only makes you you pout harder. "Hey! Give it!

"Never!" You jump pitifully, fingers grasping around nothing. A melodic chuckle spills from Jungkook's lips when you cross your arms over your chest in defeat and blink up at him crossly. "You have to say the magic word first."

You scoff at the teasing look on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows and waves the camera just above your head, before an idea strikes you and within seconds you're wielding a paintbrush, Jungkook's eyes widening when you point the paint coated bristles at his face.

"Give it up." You hold out your palm with a smug look. "Or the walls are not the only thing getting a fresh coat."

"You wouldn't." He smirks, despite being backed into a corner now.

"Oh yeah?" Without further ado you swipe the brush down the bridge of his nose, swallowing a giggle at the white smudge it leaves behind and his shocked expression beneath it. "You underestimate me, Jeon."

Jungkook pushes his tongue into his cheek, eyes dancing up and down your body before they lock with yours daringly. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Or what?" You taunt playfully, a laugh escaping you, but you quickly bite down on your lip when you see the glint in Jungkook's eyes as he submerges both his hands into the nearby bucket of paint.

You don't run when he steps closer. Instead your breathing quickens, heart doing a funny somersault when he brushes your hair to the side and clamps both of his wet hands on the sides of your jaw to bring your face up to his.

He tastes like coffee and desire when your lips crash together in a delicious tangle of teeth and tongue, all the thoughts racing through your mind dripping away like honey until all that's left is the thump of your heart against your chest and Jungkook's warmth as he backs you up against the wall.

When he pulls away he rubs his paint covered nose against yours, cocking his head and smiling sweetly when he leans back and admires his handy work.

"You have paint on your face." He looks down at his white hands innocently with a shrug. "Whoops?"

His hands trail down to your hips. You reach to your side and grab a fistful of paint, wiping it down the centre of his face and giggling when he groans and scrunches his eyes closed . "So do you."

"Okay, that's it. This means war!" Jungkook growls, strong arms wrapping around your waist, and before you know it you're stumbling over to the mattress in the corner, Jungkook's body hovering over yours.

"You wanna play dirty, huh?" Desire-filled eyes trace your face, travelling down the expanse of your neck before zeroing in on your collar bones. You gasp when Jungkook's lips attach themselves to the sensitive skin, every inch of you set alight when his burning fingers slide beneath the hem of your tshirt and find your thighs. "Always being such a bad girl, huh?"

"So? What're you gonna do about it? Punish me?" You say teasingly, and he stiffens, lips leaving a mark behind on your neck with a pop. Jungkook's narrowed eyes meet yours and you feel your heart speed up with anticipation.

His lips twitch, like they're dying to turn up. "Brat."

With that, you're being flipped over onto your knees with a yelp. Jungkook's hands work quickly and before you know it your tshirt is over your head and the sudden breeze from the open balcony doors against your hardened nipples makes you gasp.

"You love it." You laugh breathily.

"Too much," Jungkook confirms, before his large palm presses you down into the bed firmly between the shoulder blades so that your ass is thrust up in the air. You wiggle is teasingly, though the breath catches in your throat when the first spank lands on your bare skin. Then a second, the sound ringing out through the empty room like an echo and making a damp spot appear on your panties.

"Hey!" You chastise when you remember the paint on his hands that just left two glaring handprints right across your ass.

Jungkook just smirks. "What? Now everyone knows it's mine."

A third slap and you have to bite the blanket to stop from groaning, then a fourth, and a fifth and by then your eyes are watering but in the best way. Calloused hands smooth over the burning area, soothing it.

"Good girl," A raspy voice whispers next to your ear. "Such a good girl for me, taking your punishment. I think you deserve your reward now, hm?"

"Please." You moan as he reaches around to grasp your breast, tweaking your nipples in a way that has you writhing beneath him.

"Don't say I didn't warn you though," Jungkook chuckles as he rips your panties down your legs, gasping at the sight of your dripping slit like it's the first time. He runs a finger down your folds, biting back a groan when it makes your legs fall open a little further, desperate for his touch. "I'm not gonna go easy on you."

"Jungkook, what do you-- oh!." Before you can finish, Jungkook is pushing your face back into the comforter, spreading your cheeks with his palms and licking an agonizingly slow stripe up your throbbing core. His tongue finds your clit easily, toying it with the tip playfully until you're gasping for air.

"Mmf, tastes so good." He murmurs against your folds, the vibrations of his chuckle making you moan so hard your legs start to shake. His tongue finds your hole, swirling around teasingly before it slips inside and you can't handle it anymore.

"Jungkook!" You gasp, reaching behind to grab his hair. "I..I can't-"

"You can." He says, almost a command, mouth leaving your pussy only so he can slide over onto his back and pull you back down onto his face by the hips.

"Oh g-god!" Your hand reaches for the headboard, landing on the wall to steady yourself when you remember you still haven't bought a bed frame yet. Your legs are starting to ache from holding yourself up but you don't care, too lost in the feeling of Jungkook's tongue lapping at your swollen folds as you grind in lazy circles on his face.

"C-close, Kook." You manage to splutter, head thrown back with pleasure when he slides two of his fingers inside you and starts to pump in time with his tongue, the sensation of being filled enough to send you over the edge into a shuddering climax that is unlike anything you've felt before, the only thought on your mind the way your hole clenches around your boyfriend's fingers.

It takes a few moments for your legs to stop shaking, your hearing slowly coming back into focus as you hear both of your heavy breaths intermingled. You look between your legs to find Jungkook staring up at you with a grin, eyes filled with wonder. His chin gleams with your juices, the front of his t-shirt damp as you realise with a gasp what just happened.

"Did I--?"

"Yup."

"Holy fuck." You swing your leg over his shoulder so you're beside him, Jungkook sitting up to look at you, still mesmerised. "I...I'm sorry, that was--"

"The hottest thing you've ever done." Jungkook finishes, grinning at you like he just won the lottery.

You raise a brow, surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. Can I fuck you now?"

You can't help but laugh at his eager puppy dog eyes, hands practically twitching at his sides to touch you. A quick glance at his crotch confirms the biggest tent in his pants you've ever seen, and you crook a finger towards him with a sultry smile and a nod.

"Let's see if you can make me do that again."

"O-Okay!" Jungkook pulls his shirt over his head eagerly, and then he's on top of you, burning skin meeting burning skin. Your palm runs down his chest, Jungkook's eyes falling shut when it reaches the hem of his sweatpants. You cant help but gasp when your fingers wrap around his length through his boxers, core already throbbing again to be filled. He shivers when your finger circles his tip, admiring the wet patch on his boxers.

"Eager?" You smirk.

"You squirted on my face, Y/N, of course I'm goddamn eager."

"Get these off then." You tug at his pants and he kicks them off without a second telling.

"Your wish is my command."

When he returns to hovering over you, both completely bare now, he pauses. His eyes meet yours, a gentle smile appearing on his lips as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear and grips your jaw protectively.

"I love you, y'know."

You close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his but barely able to keep yourself from grinning with the elation swirling in your chest. "I love you too, doofus. Now hurry up or I'm gonna have to fuck myself."

"That sounds kinda awesome--"

"Kook!"

"Okay, okay, on it!"

Palms spread your legs, and you both gasp when Jungkook runs the blunt head of his leaking cock up and down your slit, coating himself in your juices before he lines it up with your entrance.

"Ready?" He checks, thumb tracing circles into your inner thigh.

"As I'll ever be."

And with that, he pushes inside, his head falling into the crook of your neck with a sigh of relief at finally feeling your walls clenching around his throbbing length. The stretch of his girth stings, but it makes you feel so deliciously full, so perfectly whole to be connected to Jungkook like this that all you can get out is another soft I love you that earns a blissful smile from your boyfriend as he starts to move.

Each stroke makes you lose your breath, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot just right. It's when Jungkook takes your nipple into his mouth that you feel a second orgasm start to build, one hand gripping the sheets as the other drags scratch marks down his muscular back in blissful agony.

It's not long before Jungkook spills inside you with a deep growl, your own high hitting you as you feel him coat your walls. He collapses onto your chest, breaths deep and exhausted, and wraps you in his arms before you can even catch your breath.

Jungkook pulls the sheets up over your shoulders and places a kiss to the top of your head. He's so warm you feel yourself start to drift off into a blissful sleep, the smile on your lips never faltering.

"I love you too." Is the last thing you hear him say before sleep takes you under, and you're safe wrapped up in each other's arms.

When you open your eyes, the room is warm with sunset's rose tinted blush, and Jungkook's body is no longer beside you. Rubbing your bleary eyes, you sit up on your elbow and find him on the ground in front of the freshly painted wall, intricate petals and stems flowing from the end of the paintbrush he delicately waves across the surface to paint the prettiest sunflower you've ever seen.

"I'm home!" You hear your boyfriend yell out as he shuffles into the apartment, quickly followed by a yelp. "Hey, Gureum, stop trying to lick my face!"

You can't stop the smile that spreads across your features when a ball of white fluff comes bounding into the living room, the puppy that excitedly jumps into your arms tracking a trail of muddy paw prints over the script in your hands.

"Hey Gureum," You coo, scratching him behind the ears where you know his sweet spot is. "You're such a good boy, huh?"

"Don't praise him! He totally ran away from me in Central Park and I had to chase him all the way home!" You can practically hear Jungkook's eye roll, shaking your head fondly at the mock annoyance in his voice. It was Jungkook who begged you to adopt a puppy for months in the first place, and they've been more or less inseparable ever since — the little guy hardly ever leaves his side. It's safe to say Jungkook is definitely Gureum's favourite.

The smell of coffee and fresh bagels wafts through the apartment, a warm sensation settling in your stomach as your boyfriend rounds the corner and waves a brown paper bag.

"Still got us enough coffee to stay up all night learning lines though." Jungkook grins, dumping the contents onto the coffee table and raising his eyebrows when your hands dart straight for the chocolate cookies. "Speaking of learning lines, how is it going, pretty?"

He nods towards the script in your hand. It's worn at the edges and ferociously dog eared from all the nights you have stayed up until sunrise reciting the words littered across the pages over and over, until it's like your lips are moving by muscle memory and the words are a part of you.

After what felt like hundreds of failed auditions, you had started to lose hope. With every letter that landed on the porch with another SORRY or MAYBE NEXT TIME, you felt all the confidence in the dream you worked so hard to uncover start to dwindle.

But Jungkook was always there, by your side no matter what. Encouraging you when you forgot your lines or holding you when you didn't get the callback. Reminding you to eat whenever you were too absorbed in your work to cook or cheering you on from the crowd at your weekly improv performances.

It was Jungkook who cried with you when the director of the small theatre downtown called and gave you the lead part in his upcoming stage production. Your big break. And you were determined to make sure everything ran smoothly at opening night tomorrow, which is how you find yourself snuggled up on the couch rewinding your VHS copy of Dirty Dancing over and over again until you have every word memorised by heart.

"Pretty good." You say as you pop a salted peanut into your mouth while Jungkook slips out of his tweed jacket. He's been trying to dress more New-York-ish these days, or so he says. More dress pants and less sweats. "Final rehearsals start at five."

"Aren't you nervous?" Jungkook squishes into the space beside you, Gureum cuddling up between your bodies.

Tomorrow night's show is sold out, along with every night after that for the next week. You heard there were going to be at least 700 people there each night.

"Terribly." You admit, stomach churning at the thought of 700 pairs of eyes staring right at you. You try to focus on the fizzing excitement that lingers there too, growing stronger and stronger. "But I think I'm more excited".

"I'm excited to see you up there doing what you love." Jungkook smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "My star."

"Well don't get too excited because I still keep messing up this one goddamn scene," You flip the script to a page covered in bright highlighter scribbles and run your fingers through your hair exasperatedly. "I'm totally gonna mess it up and then I'll never get another job and—"

"Shhh," Jungkook takes the script from your hands and runs his eyes over it quickly. "Don't talk like that. You're gonna be amazing — hold up..." He raises an eyebrow. "Is this...the kiss scene?"

You feel your cheeks redden, voice small. "Yes."

"Then you're in luck because who better to help you practice than the best kisser in all of New York?"

You snort. "Wow, I sure could use some of your expertise Good-Sir-Makes-Out-A-Lot."

"Then you're in the right place..." He runs his finger over the script, jabbing at one line in particular.

[Johnny and Baby kiss.]

"Let's start here, hm? For practice, obviously."

"For practice." Your eyes roll but your heart still beats a little faster as he closes the space between you, hand pressing into the wall so his sturdy body hovers over yours, hands instinctively pulling him closer by the collar.

"Come give me a kiss, m'lady..." Jungkook murmurs, but before he can tilt your chin up towards his lips there's a sudden series of frantic knocks at the front door.

"What the heck?"

You both jump out of your skin, Jungkook's eyes narrowing as he glances over his shoulder at the shadowy figure outside, fist pounding the glass fervently, like they're trying to break it down.

"Okay, damn, I'm coming!" He yells with a roll of his eyes. He wraps the blanket around your shoulders as he hops up from the couch with a sigh. "Probably just some dumb marketer again or something — dude, chill! I said I'm coming! — be right back."

The lock slides open and you hear Jungkook gasp. Your stomach drops. "Who is it?"

"Uh, Y/N..." You hear the door click shut and the sound of squeaky shoes shuffling inside. The anxiety in Jungkook's voice makes your heart skip. "You might wanna come see this."

"Huh?" Your legs feel shaky as you follow him out into the hall, chest seizing when you lay eyes on the dripping wet hair and chattering teeth of the shivering man stood before you, eyes dark and grave like they used to be.

"Taehyung?" You splutter, ripping the blanket from around your shoulders and swaddling him in it as quickly as you can, Jungkook already bounding into the other room to get dry clothes and towels after shooting you a terrified glance.

Taehyung grabs your shoulders and pulls you into a tight embrace. His cheeks are wet against your shoulder, but you can't tell if it's because he's been crying or because he's been out in the freezing cold rain — hold on, did he walk here?

"Y/N," He murmurs frantically, eyes darting back and forth but never quite focusing on anything. You knew this look. This is how he looked that day you found out about the accident. Murky, far far away. Devastatingly sad. Something wasn't right.

"What is it?" You ask, pulling him into the living room and sitting him on the couch before his shaking knees buckle beneath him. "What are you doing here, Tae?"

"It's...it's the Crestmont." He whispers.

"What about the Crestmont?" Jungkook appears behind Taehyung, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, but it's like your brother doesn't even feel it.

"They're tearing it down." He mumbles. "They're tearing down the Crestmont. Forever."

"Okay, now let's start from the beginning."

Jungkook's calm voice lilts from beside Taehyung who, after a warm shower and two cups of cocoa, has stopped shivering and seems to be ready to talk.

A hand reaches across the coffee table to tug on your wrist mid-lift to your mouth, a reminder from Jungkook to stop biting your nails. An old nervous habit you thought you'd left behind in Ocean City but apparently more than just Taehyung showed up here unannounced tonight.

"I...I got a call this morning." Taehyung begins, pausing to take a sip from the mug he cradles in his lap. His hands are shaking so he places it on the coffee table for safe keeping, right beside your discarded script. "It was from a construction company."

"And?" You prod, somewhat impatiently, making Taehyung jump.

"And apparently the owner of the theatre is behind on rent and...and..." He swallows hard. "And they're buying the rights to tear it down and build an apartment complex in its place."

"What?" Both you and Jungkook exclaim at the same time.

Jungkook's fists clench. "I always knew that old man was shady."

Taehyung fumbles in the pocket of the coat he arrived with, retrieving a brochure which he thrusts towards you.

The image on the front is of a metal skyscraper, far too shiny and new to belong in a seaside town like Ocean City. Fusion Apartments — modern living.

Jungkook rakes a hand through his hair, eyes sorrowful as you pass it over to him. "This sucks. Big time." He murmurs. "The Crestmont is the heart of Ocean City. How can they just bulldoze it like it means nothing?"

"That's why..." Taehyung swallows. "That's why I came here. I thought maybe you guys could help me, and we could do something before they—"

"We?" You furrow your brows. "You want us to help stop them from tearing down the Crestmont?"

"I mean yeah, I guess? I figured you guys would understand how important it is—"

You bite your lip. Taehyung flinches when you place a hand on his knee. "Tae. It seems like they've already got it figured out I mean...what can we do about it? The Crestmont has had a long run and maybe it's time for something new in Ocean City..."

"Y/N?" Jungkook warns, but there's a betrayal in his voice. How could you say that? It pains you, but you continue anyway. "What are you saying?"

"I just...I think it's time to let the Crestmont go."

Taehyung stands up so abruptly his mug smashes onto the marble tile.

"How could you?" He roars, but his bottom lip trembles. "The Crestmont is mom's place! It's all we have left of her in that fucking town and you want to just let them burn it to the ground?"

You tut, kneeling to pick up the broken pieces of china with a sharp glance at your brother. "For goodness sake, Taehyung. Mom isn't there anymore. She never was. She was always running off with some roadies and leaving us behind because she thought she was something special."

Taehyung scoffs. "What? Just like you?" He grabs the cocoa sodden script, crumpling it up in his shaking fist. "You are exactly the same as her. Running off to New York and leaving me behind to get your big break."

Jungkook steps forward warily. "Taehyung, you don't mean that—"

"Yes I do! If Y/N had just gotten in the car that day she wouldn't have died. It was all her fault. And now she's just gonna let them take what we have left of her."

"What?" Jungkook blinks.

Your stomach sinks. Is that really what Taehyung thinks? You wouldn't blame him. Deep down, his words strike a nerve. Because you know they're true.

Taehyung's eyes are hazy, unfocused. You reach for him dizzily, but he backs away into the hall.

"I shouldn't have come here." Taehyung whispers. He looks between you and Jungkook one last time before he's grabbing his coat and running down the steps to the first floor.

"Taehyung, wait!" You hear Jungkook's footsteps follow him out into the stairwell, but you're trapped on the ground, heaving for air.

Your hands shake as you pull yourself up to the window pane and watch Taehyung disappear into the gloom of the city, the sorrowful raindrops that lash against the glass mirroring the ones on your cheeks.

YOU: Taehyung??? YOU: [CALL IGNORED] YOU: please Tae YOU: can we at least talk about this? YOU: we're worried about you

It's been nearly 12 hours since you watched Taehyung disappear among the hustle and bustle of New York from your apartment window.

You and Jungkook were out all night searching for him. By the time you gave up the sun was rising and the birds were chirping and Jungkook somehow convinced your shivering form to return home to rest with a Taehyung shaped hole in your heart.

"It'll be okay. He'll be okay. He always is."

A phone call to your dad revealed he hadn't returned home that night; so where did he go exactly?

The weight of that question sits heavy in your chest as you sit backstage at the theatre, staring into your own vacant eyes in the dressing room mirror.

It's opening night. The show is due to start in fifteen minutes. Your lips are painted a deep shade of red, hair backcombed to perfection by one of the makeup artists. Beneath the harsh lights of the exposed bulbs that line the mirror, you look almost unrecognisable.

Confident, strong, successful.

Anyone would say your dreams had come true, or something sappy to that effect. But even as you sit among the hustle and bustle of the costume team and breathe in the fragrance of perfume and powder blush, you couldn't feel further away from the New York version of yourself if you tried.

Staring back at you is a reflection of the shy, terrified girl from Ocean City you worked so hard to forget. Yet here she is, mind whirring with worries for her brother instead of the lines she should be rehearsing to death before curtain call.

This should be your big moment. One which you will remember forever. But all you want to do right now is hold Taehyung close like you used to and tell him you're sorry and that you won't leave him again.

"Y/N!" You're snapped out of your thoughts by a familiar hand on your shoulder. You cover it with your own, instantly eased somewhat when you glance up and lock eyes with Jungkook in the mirror.

"Y/N, I found him."

"What?!" You jump to your feet, chair scraping obscenely. It draws the eyes of the people around you who quickly register Jungkook's polite smile as their cue to shuffle out of the dressing room and leave you two to talk. "Where is he? I need to talk to him—"

"He's not coming."

"What?"

Jungkook sinks into the chair beside you, forehead creased. He runs a hand through his hair and momentarily you catch a glimpse of the old Jungkook. The Jungkook that always took care of his best friend Taehyung.

"I...I gave him a ticket for the show tonight and told him to come. To see how much this really means to you...but—"

Your finger nails press half moons into your palms. "But what, Kook?"

"He was already leaving for Ocean City."

A sob wracks your frame. "Do you think he hates me?"

Jungkook's arms engulf you before the first tear can roll down your cheek, his chin tucking perfectly into the cleft of your shoulder. "Of course not, he's just...he's hurting right now."

"I can't lose him — not like this, Kook..."

"Shh. It'll all be okay."

You jump back and start to pace. "But it's not okay! What he said last night is true!"

Jungkook sucks in a breath. "What?"

Your knees buckle and you crumple. You can hardly breathe, shame washing over you as you admit the truth for the first time.

"I caused the accident! I'm the reason my mom's...she's..."

Jungkook wraps his arm around your shoulder, voice soothing. "What are you talking about?"

"The night of the accident she got a call from some big buck director. She was cast in this huge movie. Her big break." You're speaking to fast, but Jungkook nods to tell you he's listening.

"So she told Taehyung and I we were leaving for New York that night. And we were packing our bags before my dad got home and...and I said I wasn't coming. I didn't wanna leave Ocean City behind."

"I kicked and cried and said I didn't want to go, so her and Taehyung took off by themselves and that's when they got into the crash. She was upset and going too fast. It was all because of me." You start to sob. You've never admitted this to anyone before. Not even yourself. It tears your heart in two to say it out loud. "I'm the reason Taehyung's broken."

"You can't think like that." Jungkook clasps your face in his hands, thumb wiping away a stray tear. He looks scared, but his voice stays calm and convincing. "What happened was an accident. You were a kid. None of this is your fault."

"That's why Taehyung must hate me so much." You choke. "I'm doing what mom always wanted to, but she never had the chance because of me."

"Y/N?" A crew member steps into the room awkwardly with a cough. "I'm sorry to interrupt but the show is about to start. The audience is getting restless."

"Go. I'll take care of Taehyung, okay?" Jungkook pulls you to your feet, engulfing you in a final hug before he pushes you towards the stage entrance at the small of your back. "You're needed out there. Show them what you're made of."

Your eyes widen. This can't be happening. Not now.

"I...I can't."

"You can." Jungkook grabs your face and captures your lips, hard. It tastes salty with tears. "You're my star remember?"

"I love you." You whisper when you pull back, fingers reaching for him weakly as a costume designer hurries you towards the door.

"I love you too." Jungkook calls. His smile is the last thing you see before the door slams shut and there's no going back. "Now go break a leg, pretty!"

Particles of dust float in and out of your vision beneath the blinding stage lights.

Everything feels different from side stage. Your heart races as you press your ear to the velvet curtain separating you from the world, listening to the hubbub of laughing children and chattering adults filtering into the theatre. You imagine them taking their seats, buying icecream from the vendors, alive with anticipation.

The lights dim. You hear the director behind you, shouting something about places please! but it's like you're underwater, limbs weighted as you move like a ghost to your position for the opening number.

Your palms are clammy and you wipe them on your dress.

Show starting in 5...

Your legs turn to jelly. You close your eyes and try to calm your racing thoughts.

4...

Taehyung. Is he okay? Why didn't he come tonight?

3...

Shit! What was your opening line again? Goddamnit, Y/N, think!

2...

Mom. Would she be proud?

1...

You open your eyes.

The curtain is gone, and a pair of hands pushes you out into the harsh white spotlight. You shield your eyes with your fingers, heart dropping when you look up and find hundreds of eyes staring. Staring right at you.

It's like you're on the edge of a cliff, about to dive into the cool water below. Or fall.

Everything starts to blur. You're a teenager again, stood on the stage at the Crestmont. Panic rises like bile in your throat, and you don't know whether to scream or to run.

Run. Run. Run.

Your mouth opens, then closes. There's an awkward cough from the audience. Words run your mind in circles, but none of them are right, and before they can reach your lips they evaporate on your tongue.

Your panicked eyes roam the sea of seats that zoom in and out of focus. Your knees buckle, and you're sure you are going to pass out right here in front of everyone, but then your eyes meet a familiar pair of brown ones that makes the room stop spinning for a moment.

Jungkook. He's smiling at you, fingers crossed in his lap. There's not a trace of nerves in his gaze as he nods for you to go ahead.

I believe in you.

Just then the door to the theatre flies open and every head in the audience turns towards the darkly clothed figure shuffling through the aisles, mumbling sorry's and excuse me's until he reaches the empty seat beside your boyfriend.

He lets down his hood, shakes free a head of blonde hair that's still damp from the rain. He's out of breath, like he ran here.

Taehyung.

Your brother looks up at you, frozen in place, and his eyes soften. He flashes you a thumbs up and his lips curl around the four words you needed to hear.

You can do this.

And just like that, the panic disappears. The words come flooding back, and your body flies into action, moving across the stage

You forget all about the fear, and the anxiety, and Taehyung and the Crestmont. For now it's just you and the stage, together in harmony.

And you've never felt more alive than when you take your final bow and the crowd roars to life, just like you always imagined it would.

Your jaw hurts from smiling, and before you know it you're crying. Because when you squint against the theatre lights, you see Taehyung and Jungkook in the front row, holding each other and shouting your name.

Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!

"Hey! Be careful!"

The bouquet of congratulatory geraniums cradled in your arms gets crushed between your body and your brother's. He practically tackled you as soon as you entered the dressing room, carried on the cheering shoulders of the other cast and crew members.

"Holy shit." Taehyung holds you at arms length. His eyes are ringed red around the edges. "You were amazing, Y/N."

"You really think so?" Tears start to well and you're so happy to see him that you throw your arms around his waist. "I'm so glad you came, Tae."

"Yeah. You were just like her." He smiles. "Just like mom."

You share a small, sad smile. You've heard those words all your life but it feels different when it comes from Taehyung.

Jungkook pops his head into the room. He catches your eye over Taehyung's shoulder, and flashes you a small smile when he sees you cradling him in your arms.

Talk to him. He mouths, and you're suddenly reminded of why Taehyung came here in the first place.

"Hey listen—"

"Taehyung—"

You both start to talk, bursting into easy laughter when the other stops, seemingly hit with the same idea at the same time.

"You go first." You smile, encouragingly.

"Okay." He pulls you over to the couch. "I'm just...I'm sorry for storming out last night. I shouldn't have come here and expected you to help me—"

"No, stop. I'm sorry." You place a hand over his. "I want to help." You hold an arm out to Jungkook, who crosses the room and slides his hand into yours. "We want to help. We want to save the Crestmont."

Taehyung's eyes bulge. His voice drops to a whisper. "Really?"

"You were right. The Crestmont was mom's place."

You think about how it felt to be out there on the stage, in front of a crowd cheering your name. The excitement, the exhilaration. Your first stage.

The Crestmont is your mom's first stage. It's where she felt those same emotions for the first time. You can't let it be demolished. Not for anything.

"She deserves a legacy. We can't let them tear it down. I don't know how yet, but we'll save it."

"Thank you." A tear streaks his cheek, and his arms pull you and Jungkook into a tight bear hug.

"Thank you. For showing me what really matters, Tae." You whisper. "Let's do this together, okay?"

"For mom."

Taehyung holds out his pinky finger, and you link yours with his.

"For mom."

Where things go wrong.

Six months later.

Every second that passes is marked by a deafening tick from the kitchen clock.

Jungkook was supposed to be home 10 minutes ago. You're sat alone at the dinner table, a carefully presented meal for two spread across your mom's old polka dot table cloth. You even lit candles.

With a sigh you drop your chin into your hand, absentmindedly pushing your spaghetti around the dish while your eyes remain trained to the front door that will open any moment.

To be honest, it's been months since you and Jungkook shared a meal together. He spends most of his nights in his office, hunched over his laptop staring at the blinking cursor on some script he'll never finish. And ever since Jungkook's big script got rejected and he fell into a slump of no work, he had to get a job at a local convenience store all day for some spare cash to get you through the month.

You know he hates it. He hates the rude customers and how he can never shower the smell of grease out of his hair.

You know the bickering that turned into arguing that turned into fighting was just a result of his restless aggravation at being shot down too many times. Of watching his dream slip right through his fingers.

But you haven't exactly been as understanding as you should have been. You're overworked too, with the play, and The Crestmont, and you hate how easy it was to accept sleeping apart and missing dinner dates.

So you texted him to tell him you were making dinner tonight. A cease fire of sorts, or maybe just a feeble attempt at glueing back together the cracks that have appeared between you recently with pasta sauce and meatballs.

But he's late. Again.

And it makes you wonder whether there was any point in trying.

"Y/N?"

A gravelly voice jolts you out of your thoughts. Keys jangle onto the counter, shoes are slipped from feet and thrown into the storage cupboard with the creaky door.

"I'm in here." Your voice sounds meek, but you straighten and muster up a smile. To show at least one of you is making an effort.

Jungkook appears in the doorway, clad in his ugly traffic cone orange uniform. His shoulders are slumped, bangs limply stuck to his forehead. He looks tired, exhausted.

"What's all this?" He nods disinterestedly towards your untouched homemade buffet before heading to the sink to fix himself a glass of water.

"Dinner." You cough. He stiffens. "Remember?"

"Oh." He scratches the back of his neck. His eyes flash with something close to guilt momentarily, but then he smoothes it out. "Yeah. Dinner."

"It's okay, you're not too late. We can just heat this up in the microwave—"

"I already ate, Y/N." The glass in his hand slams onto the counter a little too loudly. "At the store."

You can't hide the way your face drops.

"Please." You whisper. "For me?"

Jungkook stares at you for a few seconds, unblinking, before he exhales shakily and pulls out the seat opposite you.

"What's on the menu?" He asks, hands already grabbing for the bottle of red wine in the middle of the table without so much as a glance at the food you worked so hard to prepare.

"Pasta."

"Right."

An uncomfortable silence settles. Jungkook nibbles at a meatball, and you suddenly feel too sick to the stomach to keep anything down.

You jump when Jungkook's fork clatters to the table. He wipes pasta sauce from the corners of his mouth with a napkin and you're sure you can see a slight tremor in his grasp.

"There's something I need to tell you."

His words ring out into the deafening silence that shrouds the apartment. You train your eyes to the candle in the middle of the table that flickers back and forth and carefully place down your own cutlery.

"Should I be worried?"

"No...I mean, I don't know. Maybe." Jungkook waves his hands around and when his eyes meet yours they're distant. Like the table that separates you spans oceans. "Just promise not to freak out."

"I'm not promising anything. Why are you looking at me like that?"

He shifts and the cheap flat pack dining chairs you bought when you moved in creak like they always do. "I...I got a movie deal. They loved the script I told them I've been working on and they want me to direct it."

Your heart fills with something sweet; pride. Even despite your downs recently this is still incredible news. You knew your boyfriend should be ecstatic...so why is he staring intently at the table cloth like it killed his whole family? "That's awesome, Kook. So what's the problem?"

"I gave them a different script."

Something shifts in the air. You hold your breath.

"Huh?"

"The script. The one you told me to burn before we came to New York. The one about you...your life."

Your blood runs cold and it's like your frozen. Just searching through the never ending blackness behind Jungkook's eyes that fails to falter, no matter how hard you pinch your inner thigh and hope you're about to wake up from a bad dream.

"You wouldn't." Your voice sounds strained and Jungkook doesn't even flinch. "You...I don't believe you."

"I'm sorry." He runs an exasperated hand through his hair. "It's just that they hated the first one and I wanted this deal so bad. It's a once in a lifetime chance Y/N, don't you see?"

The boy staring back at you isn't the sweet and sensitive Jungkook from Ocean City or the strong and passionate man from New York. His words get all mixed up in your head as you repeat them over and over and it's as if you don't even know him at all. All you can feel now is betrayal. And just like that all the anger that has been building inside you for months explodes.

"So my life is just a fucking plot for one of your indie movies, Jungkook?"

"It's always your life isn't it? Never mine." He slams his hands on the table hard enough to make your insides shake. "Ever since we came to New York I've supported you, sat back and watched as you achieved all your dreams. And it hurts, Y/N. To come home from my dead end job, and write another goddamn script that nobody wants to even read."

"I came to New York because of you!" You don't even realise you're crying until you taste the hot salty tears that won't seem to stop. "I came here so you could make it big! You're the one who encouraged me to audition for the play in the first place!"

"God, are you really that naive? Don't you see? I came to New York because I saw how much it meant to you." Jungkook lowers his voice, and there's something in his words that makes your heart twist. Pain. His eyes look watery and you long to reach out for him. Like the skin on skin contact will somehow make all of this okay. "And not once have you ever considered how it might feel for me to sit back in your shadow."

"So that's what this is? Jealousy?" You shake your head and get up from the table and turn to leave, but Jungkook grasps your wrist.

"Why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you Jungkook. And I always will be." Your heart softens and you're reminded of the boyfriend you know. The boyfriend you love. You want to believe he's in there somewhere so you place your hand over his, and for a second he looks hopeful. "But this was never your story to tell. That's what hurts."

He drops your arm, gaze cold and distant. "Then I guess that's it then."

"What?"

The room starts to spin.

"If you can't accept my decision to go ahead with the project then I guess we can't do this anymore."

"This?" You whisper.

"Us."

"Jungkook...Are you saying we're over?"

He drops his head into his hands and lets out a sigh. "Maybe. I don't know."

"You don't know?" You chuckle but it's hollow, empty. "You don't know if you love me any more?"

Jungkook's face drops and he lurches towards you, but you step back.

"No, shit Y/N I didn't mean it like that!" He looks scared. "I was just angry and it slipped out."

"Don't." His arms reach for you again but the brush of his fingertips feels scalding hot, wrong. "Don't fucking touch me."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't lie to me Jungkook." Your vision is blurred with tears as you rip open the closet and yank out a suitcase. "You're not sorry. I was never your muse. I was just a stepping stool to the top."

"Where are you going?" Jungkook's crying now too. It comes out as a sob.

"Home." You say as you rip open your shared closet door and start throwing your things into the case. "I'm going home. Where I belong."

"I can't lose you like this. Please." He reaches for your wrist again but you're already half way to the door.

"Too late." You say. "I'm going home. And I'm never coming back."

The familiar scent of burned popcorn and candyfloss soothes you as you creep through the backdoor of the Crestmont. It always had a broken hinge which opened just enough for a body to squeeze through. Seems not a lot has changed since you left Ocean City.

It's dark inside. Silent too, without the popcorn machine running and the movie trailers playing on LED screens. You don't know what you expected. It's gone midnight by the time you get back to Ocean City, but you don't want to go home just yet.

Comfort washes over you as you run your fingers over the gilded edges of the counter, and slip beneath the hatch on auto pilot. It feels strange to be back here without the starched shirt and bow tie you used to hate. You've swapped out worn sneakers for heels that click against the tiles and you've performed on stages for crowd's bigger than the Crestmont's but here and now, you feel like yourself. Even though everything in your life has changed, you're still the same small town girl underneath it all.

Without thinking your legs carry you to the wall of fame. The faces smile up at you, like they're saying welcome back.

"Hey mom," You whisper, stopping momentarily in front of her portrait. You stared at it for so long as a kid that you have every detail committed to memory but seeing it up this close makes your breath hitch. "It's me."

With a sigh you force yourself past into the hall. Your hands tremble as you push open the door to the theatre. It's just how you remember it, sparkling gold and red velvet and mystery. But there's yellow tape strung up across all the seats and a sign has been propped up on the stage, red glaring letters burning a hole in your heart as you read them.

DANGER. DUE FOR DEMOLISHMENT. STAY AWAY.

All you can do is let your legs buckle, back sliding down the wall as you hug your knees to your chest and let out a throaty sob that echoes from the high ceiling.

When did everything go so wrong? You must be cursed. Everything you touch gets destroyed.

"Y/N?"

The lights flicker on, bathing the room in a soft golden glow. You wipe your tears, but that doesn't stop them from coming.

"Over here."

Your voice is small but a few seconds later Taehyung's face appears from behind one of the velvet seats. His eyes soften when he sees you curled up in the corner.

"What are you doing down here?" He clambers over the seat to join you, his long legs folded awkwardly in the small space.

"Having a one man party." You snort and point to your tear stained cheeks.

"Are you okay?" His hand covers yours and the contact makes you jump.

"Yes..." You sniff. He raises a brow. "No. Jungkook broke up with me."

Taehyung chokes. "What?!"

"I mean, we fought and then he...he said we were over." Your heart stabs painfully but you shrug. "So I came here. Didn't know where else to go."

He places an encouraging hand on your shoulder. "Listen...I know I haven't always been there for you when I should've. Hell, you always took care of me and I never even asked how you were doing." He offers a small smile. "But I'm here now. And you can tell me anything. If...if you want to."

A few seconds tick by in silence. You try to form a sentence but everything just comes back to the same three words.

"I miss mom." You blurt.

It echoes through the theatre, and you can practically hear the mermaids and the cupids painted on the ceiling gasp. It surprises you too, the combination of grief and relief that washes over you at finally admitting it.

"I know." Taehyung pulls you into his chest, lips whispering against your hair as you let out a sob and it's like all the sadness and denial is rushing out of you like a faucet, filling the whole room up like a water tank. You're terrified of the moment it gets too full, and you stop being able to breathe. "But you're a lot like her, y'know."

"That's exactly the problem!" Your words come out as a yell and it makes you both jump. "Everyone always says I look like her, I talk like her, I act like her. And I hated it for the longest time because I hated her for leaving us!"

"But without even realising it I became her, Tae. I did what I always said I wouldn't and became selfish. I hurt you, and Jungkook and even the Crestmont."

"That's not true."

"It is! And the worst part is I don't even hate her any more. I need her. To hold me, and tell me it's going to be alright. But she isn't here!"

"What does this have to do with Jungkook?"

"Jungkook wrote a script. A long time ago. About mom. And you and I. And everything that happened." You swallow, Taehyung's eyebrow raises though he doesn't look at all surprised by this information, nor as horrified as you that a record of your bleak shortcomings exists for anyone to read. "He got a movie deal. That's why we fought."

Taehyung hums. "You don't want him to make the movie?"

"It's not that I...I want to be happy for him. But I can't." You choke. "It's too painful. Remembering."

Accepting.

"When I said you were a lot like mom, I meant that you are headstrong." Taehyung pauses. "I felt that way once too. Like I hated mom and the goddamn world for taking her too soon. But in the end, the only person I hated was myself. Like however hard I tried I could never get over her, and all the pain I was pushing down into a dark place kept taunting me through the nightmares." He shivers, and you grip his hand tighter. "But one day I realised I don't have to be afraid of that pain any more. That pain is a part of me. But that doesn't mean I have to let it win."

"So what did you do?"

"I let myself feel it . I faced it. The only way I could let mom go was to stop running away." He pats your shoulder. "You need to set the girl in that script free, so you can move on."

And just like that, you're swimming...up, up, up, until you reach the surface of the water tank and you can take a heaving breath for the first time.

You throw your arms around his neck. It feels weird to hug him like this, but it's nice. "I missed you, Tae. Thank you.”

"I didn't do anything." He says. "The strength is inside you, you just need to find it. Just like you need to stop holding on to the past and let the new you shine for once."

You shake your head. "I need to talk to Jungkook. I don't know why I stormed off like that and..." You trail off. "Wait, how did you know I was here?"

Taehyung grins. "I didn't. I got called in to sort some paperwork and I noticed the back door ajar. Good thing it was you and not some crazy with a baseball bat, right?"

"At this time?" You nod to his still pyjama clad state. "Is it important?"

"Y/N," He laughs lightly. There's excitement shining in his eyes. "Someone just bought the Crestmont."

You scramble to your knees. "What?"

"We're staying open, and I get to keep my job."

And then you're hugging again, and laughing and crying because the Crestmont is going to be okay. You're going to be okay.

"That's incredible, Tae! Who is it? Who bought the Crestmont?"

"I don't know, it was an anonymous transaction. But the guy said he would be here...." He glances at his wrist watch, and as he does, the door creaks open. "Around now."

"Hello? Anyone here?" A familiar voice calls out.

"Jungkook?" Both of your jaws drop as you poke up from behind the seats. Sure enough your heart flutters when you see him, all wind swept and out of breath like he ran here.

"I thought you might be here." He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Can we talk?"

The car ride to the pier was mostly silent. Jungkook borrowed his dad's old beat up truck -- it was that or his old bike with the pegs on the back -- and it still smelled like leather and petrol like it used to.

Everything about Ocean City is the same as you remember it. The pier stands strong atop the rocky sand, sea air deliciously fresh as it fills your lungs. The rolling waves shimmer like gold dust below the wisps of pink clouds that greet the rising sun. The beach is a peaceful view at this time. No tourists, all of yesterdays sandcastles swallowed by the sea spray. It took a couple hours to work through the paperwork so by now it's early morning — 5:30am according to your phone lockscreen.

It's chilly, and your skin is covered with goose bumps even despite Jungkook's suede jacket wrapped loosely around your shoulders. But you don't mind.

You've missed this. You've missed Ocean City.

"No ice cream, I'm afraid." The breeze ruffles Jungkook's hair as he emerges from the fairground and settles beside you with his legs poking through the rails. He flashes you an apologetic smile. "I guess the parlour doesn't open until 9..."

You feel a pang in your chest. Being here is like a serious case of deja vu. Countless hours spent in this very spot, eating vanilla scoops with rainbow sprinkles beside Jungkook used to be so normal. When did you grow so far apart that you're surprised he even remembers?

"Jungkook..." You swallow hard when you meet his eyes, hands longing to reach out and stroke the stream of sunrise on his cheek that makes his dark eyes sparkle. "We...we need to talk. About everything."

There's a moment of silence filled only by the calls of seagulls greeting the morning before he speaks. "I sold the script."

He sounds nervous. Like he's not quite sure what your reaction will be.

You swallow. "And you used the money to buy the Crestmont?"

"Yeah." He says matter of factly, scratching a phantom itch at his nape. "I guess I did."

"Why?" Your voice is small.

"I can't loose you, Y/N." He murmurs. "Just like you can't loose your mom. The Crestmont was her everything. But you are mine. And loosing the Crestmont would be loosing a piece of you, and I couldn't stand that."

The breeze ruffles his hair as he reaches for your hand and links your fingers and squeezes hard. You don't make any move to stop him. You know what it means, so you squeeze back and return the sentiment. I'm sorry.

Before you can stop yourself you lurch forward, arms curling around his neck and it's like coming home. His hands pull you flush to his chest, hearts beating in sync and you know everything is going to be okay now.

"Thank you." You whisper against his nape. A tear rolls down your cheek and soaks into his collar and before you know it you're blubbering. "Thank you so much, Kook."

"You aren't mad?" His voice is muffled but you can hear the quirk of his brow.

"Mad? No..no..." You lean back and wipe your eyes with your sleeve. "But what about the movie? And your dream to be a director and--"

Jungkook grabs your shoulders. His own eyes are glassy as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.

"That was never what mattered to me, Y/N. Not even a little bit. There's one reason I went to New York and it's the same reason I came back to Ocean City tonight. You."

"But--"

"No but's. As long as we're together, I'm already living my dream." His lips turn up into a smile, his eyes tracing your face like it's the first time and he can't get enough. "And I never ever want to wake up."

You shift in your spot to face him properly for the first time, and emotion hits you like a tidal wave. It's like all of a sudden you realize how stupid you've been; to fight with the man before you, a man who only knows kindness, about the trivial when the things that mattered the most were always right here, in front of you. The things that mattered most were always in Ocean City.

You brace your hands on his shoulders and lean up so your lips are inches apart. His eyes fall shut naturally, and you can't help but laugh with what you can only describe as one thing: happiness.

"I love you." You whisper against his lips. A warm palm cups your jaw and closes the distance between them and you're almost too lost in the way Jungkook's kiss takes your breath away to hear his response.

"I love you too."

"Sooo..." You bite your lip with a coy smile when Jungkook pulls away, the blush upon his cheeks scarlet beneath the sun which is rapidly rising. "I take it we're no longer broken up?"

"Well duh," He swats you playfully. "You think I'd do all this just to dump your ass?"

"Hey!" You pout. "I dumped your ass."

Jungkook shakes his head with a laugh.

"Besides," He glances out over the horizon nonchalantly and shrugs. "I'm gonna need help if I'm gonna start my own film company and run the Crestmont."

Your jaw drops. "A what now?"

"A film company." He explains. "A different type of film company, right here in Ocean City. For the outcasts like me who have a vision that even the biggest names in New York can't see yet." He smiles, so big and bright it makes your heart leap. "I'm gonna show them, Y/N. And everything I need to do it is right here in Ocean City."

"I know you will. I never doubted you for a second." You take his hand and link your fingers, squeezing hard. "And you bet your ass I'll be front row to watch each and every one, Jeon Jungkook."

Epilogue.

"Just keep your eyes shut!"

"I already know where we're going, so why can't I look?" You laugh, attempting and failing to tug Jungkook's interlocked fingers away from your eyes.

"Shush, it's a surprise! Just roll with it."

A surprise. That's what Jungkook said earlier too when he woke you up at the crack of dawn by throwing a dress at your head and telling you to meet him outside in the truck in 10 minutes or else.

By the time you pulled up into the familiar parking lot of your not-so-mysterious destination, the sky was already aflame with the glow of morning skimming the horizon, and Jungkook practically leapt out of the truck, palms unusually sweaty as he grasped your hand and pulled you towards the path quicker than your feet could carry you.

"What's the hurry, Kook?" You get out between heavy breaths, quads burning as the path gets steeper beneath your feet.

Come to think of it, your boyfriend has been acting strangely all week. Like hiding things behind his back when you walk into a room or talking in hushed whispers on the phone to Taehyung when he thought you were sleeping.

"You'll see." The path levels out and you stop. Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, chin tucked into the cleft of your shoulder like a perfect puzzle piece. "Okay. Now you can look."

You round the corner, heart racing when your eyes flutter open and your vision is filled with a sea of yellow flowers. Your place.

The meadow is just how you left it, tall grass and sunny blooms dancing beneath the rays of morning sun peeking out from between the clouds. A warmth spreads through your chest and you both laugh when Gureum lets out an excited yelp, before bounding off between the stems playfully.

"I think the little guy wants us to follow him." Jungkook raises a brow and throws you a knowing shrug.

Excitement flutters in your stomach like a butterfly trapped between cupped palms. "How could I refuse?"

Fingers interlinked, you part the sunflowers and jog after the ball off fluff bouncing across the meadow, the breeze cool and forgiving as it ruffles the strands of hair that billow behind you.

Eventually you reach the clearing, and Gureum wags his tail at you proudly when you stoop down to scratch him behind his ears.

The sun reflects in Jungkook's eyes, turning them a warm golden brown. "Turn around."

You spin on your heels with a questioning glance. "Why?" That's when you see it. The spot where everything began. The tree where Jungkook kissed you all those years ago has bloomed with fragrant blossoms, and twinkle lights glow like tiny stars around it's branches. A blanket is laid out in the sun flecked shade beneath it, littered with feather cushions and lanterns and a trail of sunflower petals that begin at your feet.

"You did this?" You take his chin in your palms, face beaming despite the tears that have started to blur your vision. "Oh, Kook."

"Surprise." He smiles knowingly, grabbing you from behind and spinning you round and round until you both land with a soft thump in the middle of the outdoor cushion fort. "You haven't even seen the best part yet." He says with a nod to his right.

It's then that you notice the white sheet that's strung up a couple meters away between the trunks of two trees, Jungkook's vintage projector set up in front of it.

"What is this?" You ask, bewilderment evident in your voice.

"Gureum, would you do the honours?" Jungkook chuckles, extending a finger to point at a remote that your puppy obediently picks up with his teeth and drops into your lap with a wag of his tail.

Jungkook tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and takes a deep breath, like he's been waiting for this moment for a long time. "Go ahead. Press play and find out."

Your head shakes fondly, but your fingers tremble with anticipation as they find the PLAY button. You press it and the projector starts turning, a light flicking on at the top that makes a grainy image appear on the sheet.

The first scene is you. A teenager, dancing through the sunflower field, laughter spilling from your lips. The first time you hung out. And then it switches. You, again. Cleaning up a spill at the Crestmont, unaware of the camera. You. Paint in your hair as Jungkook chases you around the apartment in New York. You. Tears in your eyes as you hold baby Gureum for the first time. You. Asleep on Jungkook's shoulder on the subway, the camera panning to his face which lights up in a big grin, lips mouthing three words.

I love you.

Tears are hot on your cheeks, laughing as you remember the good moments and the bad, the funny and the sad, all immortalized forever through Jungkook's eyes.

The film fades out, and you throw your arms around your boyfriends neck. He chuckles when you tackle him to the ground, throwing a leg over his lap so that you can lean down and capture his lips between yours in a kiss that says all the words you want to say but you don't know how to. I love you too.

"I take it you liked it, then?" Jungkook says coyly, thumb stroking your cheek.

"It was beautiful Jungkook." You place your hand over his. "Now I know why you're always goddamn filming me."

"What can I say? You're my muse."

"Shut up." You punch him playfully. "You're gonna make me blush."

It's Jungkook's cheeks that flush pink. "Actually..." He starts to sit up, fumbling around in his back pocket. "There's something else."

"Oh?"

He clears his throat. "The first time we came to this place I knew I loved you. Back then, I said I wanted to show you what I found most beautiful. And it was you. It's always been you." He takes your hand, grip tight. "When we met we were just kids with big dreams. We might be older now but heck -- I still don't know what I'm doing. All I know is dreams come and go but you never left. You always stayed by my side. Which is why I want to promise you something."

"What, Kook?" You manage to whisper. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute in your ears. Is this what you think it is?

Jungkook swallows hard, eyes boring into yours.

"That I'll go wherever you go. New York, across oceans, up mountains -- you name it. As long as we're together, everything will be okay. So that's why I wanted to ask..." His fingers tremble as he produces a tiny black box, flicking it open to reveal a ring that sparkles see through in the sun. "Y/N, will you marry me?"

"Oh Jungkook," You throw your arms around his neck, overcome with emotion now as you capture his lips with your own. "Of course I'll marry you. You didn't even have to ask."

He lets out a sigh of relief, and then he's spinning you around in circles until you're both dizzy with love and belly laughter.

"I love you." He whispers, eyes shiny. His hand gently grasps your wrist as he slides the ring onto your finger.

You've heard him say it a hundred times before, but this time it's different. This time it's forever. Your heart flutters.

"I love you too, Kook."

Where there are new beginnings

Ocean City is the same as it always was.

You wake up each morning to the distant crash or waves, and you fall asleep each night to the tinkling fairground music that makes your heart sing. Tourists come and go, flooding the casinos and eating churros on the beach.

The Crestmont is doing better than ever. Once Taehyung took over as owner, the theatre became the heart of the city, attracting visitors from near and far to see the renowned plays directed by none other than Jeon Jungkook, the most sought after playwright and filmographer in all of the East Coast.

And then there's you. Ever since you starred in one of Jungkook's plays, about a girl from a seaside city moving to New York with big dreams, there's been no shortage of movie deals and acting opportunities thrown your way.

But in the end, you always find yourself coming back to Ocean City.

Tonight the Crestmont reopens for business after some much needed renovations. Taehyung is throwing a party, and there will be plenty of big Hollywood faces attending to see the brand new theatre and the updated __.

But one thing will always remain the same. The picture of your mom hung in the gallery. Her big smile is the heart of the Crestmont, greeting each and every visitor with pride.

And in the empty frame at the end of the wall of fame, there's a new picture.

You. Smiling, with your hair over one shoulder, just how you imagined. And beside you is Jungkook, with his arm wrapped around your waist and Taehyung holding Gureum and making a silly peace sign behind your head.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

Okay so hi if you’re still here!! I decided to put this at the end because I didn’t wanna spoil the ending so please send love to @brekkiejeon​ !! They sent me the request for the ending of this fic all the way back in January and i’m trash and took like 7 months to finish writing it so i hope you enjoyed it even so lovely !!! <3 thank you for the request and sorry for the wait, this one really got me creative lol! 

Also I’d like to dedicate the smut in this fic to @atastefulwonderland​ because I know you love some good ole JK loving!! Hehe, ily~~

Also lemme know if this was bad because I never usually give OC so much backstory because I want it to be as relatable to the reader as poss obvi but these characters wrote themselves lmao like i’m just the writer i had no control okay???? I just do what these mfkers say. LOL.

[staycult]

highschool!hyunjin as your boyfriend

pairing — gender neutral reader x hyunjin

genre — fluff / bullet scenario

word count — idk maybe 600-700

enjoy!

ok so

u both met bcs of the same class

since u were a new student, he got assigned to tour you around the campus

bcs he's a goody two shoes

"hyunjin, by the way." he said as he gave u a light smile,

you being a shy bean u are, just gave him a nod

he took the hint and started to walk with you following him behind

he opened a big door for you and motioned u to go inside

the smell of old books and the sound of typing devoured your senses

"this is the library, quite old but still does it's job" he said while looking around

you love libraries a lot

"it's nice" you finally spoke, fiddling w/ ur fingers a bit

"[y/n], sorry i didnt answer you earlier"

he smiled at your sudden burst of bubble

"so that's basically it for the facilities" he said while stopping infront of you

the bell rang and a whole lot of students went out of their rooms

"hey you should go with us for lunch" he said half confidently

"if you want to, that's what i meant" he added.

since you dont have that much friends, you decided to go along

you entered the cafeteria and was greeted with hyunjin's friends

7 other boys greeted you with a smile as well as 5 other girls. you have grown close with them in a matter of minutes especially the girls. as it was to go home, hyunjin offered to walk you home. the awkward tension between you two disappeared. it became a routine for the both of you to walk home together since he lives a block away from you.

finals came in and you were cramming your eyes off in the library

as you were looking for the book you needed, you stumbled upon yeji and hyunjin

who were facing each other while studying

not gonna lie it was an eye sore to see

yeji is one of your closest friends so you shrugged it off because they had always been close

but this time, it felt different

like you were hurt?

you picked up your book and turned around to find your own seat

"pst! hey [y/n]!" a familiar voice called out

"come sit with us!" yeji whisper-shouted

so u did

it felt awkward for some reason and you rlly didnt know why

you guys had always been close, why now?

yeji had this smirk on her face

while hyunjin was side eyeing her

she let out a snort "hey i have a class in 5 see you both later at lunch!" she said waving off

he cleared his throat and turned his attention towards you

"so, i found this cool coffee shop where you can write in the walls, do you want to come after finals?" he asked

you felt a butterfly run wild in your stomach

what is this feeling?

"i would love to" you smiled

both of you ordered a large smoothie each in the coffee shop and bought markers before hand. hyunjin was scribbling all over the walls. the coffee shop was full of names and quotes written by customers. you brought out your marker and wrote, [y/n] was here <3 in different colors. "jinnie, why are you drawing circles?" you chuckled.

"i-uh im making a puzzle." he said while closing his marker cap. "really? let me see!" you exlaimed. he took in a deep breath and showed you the puzzles. "all you have to do is to make a sentence out of the circled words or symbols" he explained. "words that was written by other customers you mean?" you snorted. he rolled his eyes, "just do it!"

you have gathered the a "👍🏼", "👁" and a "you"

confusion took over you as you observed the circled words. "i like you?" you asked hyunjin. "i like you too." he replied. it took you a while to realize what it meant. "for real?"

"for real." he replied seriously. a blush crept up to your face, did he really just confess? "oh god im sorry" he panicked. "it's okay if you dont like me back i shouldnt have listened to yeji let's forget this happened-"

you cut him off by giving him a hug. he went stiff at your sudden skinship but eventually hugged you back. "you silly, of course i like you too." you said as you burried your head into is chest. "for REAL real." u chuckled.

"i thought you liked yeji" you said in a low voice as you pulled away. "what? she's like my sister from another mother." he said, grossed out. "she helped me out into confessing.." he added while ruffling his hair.

"well, it worked." you claimed as he pulled you in for another hug.

boyfriend hyunjin claims that he's not clingy

well that's a lie

he's not much into pda

but he loves holding your hand whenever he has the chance

like below the tables during class

or in the library while studying

you guys are lowkey, but not a secret

coffee shop dates!

any kind of date really

he loves taking pictures of you

and posting it on his insta

back hugs and sleeping on your lap kind of love

being successful together in terms of career and school is his number 1 goal

he's very supportive!!! will literally shout whenever it's your turn in debates

"PERIOD! that's my baby!" he would clap loudly even though by now youre embarrased as hell

will give you flowers everytime u meet u go on a date

love notes!!!!!

kisses are passionate and loves to rub your back while doing so

he would get very shy after

LOVES TO PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR

never forgets to reassure you whenever you doubt yourself

"im here baby, always."

"i love you, i'll always will."

needless to say, he is the best boyfriend out there.

[merakiui]

i don’t remember actually sending a request, sorry about that- anyway, how about the noctu team realizing they’re crushing on the manager? make it like a puppy crush for aiyachi bc the baby is only 14

(Here are the hcs! Please forgive me. I don’t know why they took so long to post. :< But I’m happy with the result! I hope you’ll like it too. Thank you for requesting! These are really cute to think about.)

Noctu Team With a Crush HCs (Aitachi, Kirr, Nine, and Day)

🎯 Aitachi 🎯

Aitachi looks up to a lot of people. He’s not bothered by the fact that most of them might be older and taller. That just means they’ve got more years under their belt and plenty of wisdom to share with him.

He’s so used to being around adults that your presence doesn’t faze him in the slightest.

Intimidation? He knows no such thing! Aitaichi hardly considers fear when you treat him with the same respect as everyone else.

Just don’t baby him. Aitachi may be the smallest and youngest out of the group, but that doesn’t mean he’s a child. He’s a mature Reaper with the courage and strength of a true, pure-hearted warrior!

That’s why he’s always willing to put his life on the line if you’re ever in danger, which is extreme and illogical considering he’s already died once and is now immortal.

He means well, but you’ll still clarify that he doesn’t need to go to such lengths to ensure your safety.

“I’ll be fine,” you told him after a vengeful spirit tried to attack you. “You don’t have to worry so much. As long as no one’s hurt, we can continue with our work, right?”

The very next morning you find a talisman on your desk, along with a small note telling you to keep it close whenever you’re in danger.

Since then, you’ve kept it as a good luck charm, knowing that as long as you’re careful you won’t fall prey to any wandering spirits.

Aitachi takes up the role as your unofficial errand boy ever since he discovered the special spot on your desk for the doll he made. He insists on bringing you every important document because it’s a warrior’s duty to provide for those in need.

His fellow Noctu Reapers think it’s quite charming that he does this, especially Day, who makes all sorts of comments doting on how his “little brother” is so helpful and sweet.

You’re grateful that Aitachi’s so willing to lend a hand without a single complaint, and you make sure he knows just how thankful you are.

Even if the gesture is reserved for that of a child, you still pat him on the head. Aitachi pouted about it at first, saying that head pats aren’t suited for warriors.

Now he just blushes at the contact, proud to have gotten your recognition.

He’s almost like Day in a sense, unintentionally following you around like a lost hound.

It’s quite obvious that he’s got a case of young puppy love.

He’s making another talisman doll for you when he comes to the realization of his wholesome feelings.

Are warriors even supposed to feel this way?

He’s stuck thinking about it the whole day, and he’ll probably be less confident to admit to it.

In the meantime, though, he’ll continue helping you to the best of his ability, secretly doing everything he can to be considered your number one. Almost like a teacher’s pet, but in this case it’s manager’s pet.

All of those talisman dolls are starting to pile up on your desk, as well as his innocent adoration for his hard-working manager.

🏹 Kirr 🏹

Having a crush is such a foreign concept to Kirr.

When he first heard the word, he took it quite literally, wondering why anyone would want to crush another person. That should only happen in a survival scenario where life and death is at stake and you’re facing an enemy with negative intentions.

Yet as he learns more about what it means in a romantic sense, it gives him more confusion. So a crush is a strong sense of admiration for another person?

In that case, wouldn’t it be his manager who he holds in high esteem?

He doesn’t really know how to bring this topic up with the others, so he’s debating it internally. It’s definitely a struggle for poor Kirr, who can’t seem to figure out whether or not what he’s feeling is a crush or just simple respect for his colleague.

So he ends up watching how the Reapers act around you. They’re so kind and sociable. And he acts the same, albeit at a serious level where most jokes go over his head.

Kirr is so busy troubling himself with these inner debates that he doesn’t even register when someone’s trying to talk to him, and it’s a bit concerning.

One afternoon he’s sharpening the arrowheads on the ends of his arrows when he sees you crossing the field. And you look serene as you walk, not paying any mind to the wind that rustles your clothes.

He’s shared plenty of conversations with you before, but during those times he never had a chance to appreciate you in all your astounding form.

It’s almost too much for him, and a slew of feelings catch his heart in a vice.

Maybe he does have a crush after all.

But where are all these emotions coming from? Based off of what he’s heard from the Department, Kirr knows that a crush is normal for everyone of all ages. It’s a sign that you’ve taken romantic interest in someone.

He wonders what one does with feelings like these. Obviously he could confess or get to know you more, but something’s holding him back. Suddenly, he’s become indecisive.

Normally, when he’s hunting, it’s easy to rely on logic and instincts. Now he’s not so sure which will help him out in this situation.

When you catch his staring and wave, a smile on your face, Kirr holds up his arm, returning the gesture. You really are a great person; your personality glimmers underneath the glare of the sun, and he’s glad that someone so amazing is his manager.

Logic might fail in this case, and instincts won’t get him anywhere as he has no idea where to begin. So maybe he’ll settle on his heart, following it like it’s a searchlight in the blurry haze of confusion that’s overtaken his reasoning.

Kirr’s definitely going to gravitate towards you more as he tries to navigate his newfound feelings. He’s doing his best, so please encourage him.

🎼 Nine 🎼

He catches you slacking off one day, absorbed in the videos on your mobile device.

Nine isn’t one to snoop, but he does happen to catch the swish of a colorful pen against a sheet of unwrinkled paper. He knows what it is at once.

You’re watching calligraphy videos.

“Do you enjoy that, Manager?” he’ll ask, awaiting your answer.

Once you confirm that you do like it, Nine’ll be happy to know that his manager shares similar interests with him.

Since then, the two of you have bonded over calligraphy, and Nine’s even showed you what his skillful hands can do. Just give him a pretty pen and some paper and he’ll be scribbling all sorts of gorgeous words.

He finds that the best word to write is your name, which is a tad confusing, but you seem honored.

Before he can even register the extent of your relationship, you’re already inviting him to places. Whether it’s in your office talking over paperwork or rendezvousing in the human world during a successful mission, Nine enjoys your presence.

Nine realizes that every day spent in your company is fun, albeit a dangerous erosion to his heart, which is beginning to wear at its foundation.

He manages to stay composed, but there’s something strange in how he hopes of eventually surpassing the border known as friendship.

He’s not used to getting so close to others; usually he keeps his distance, only upholding a conversation when needed. But now he feels as though he’ll lose you if he doesn’t stick around, and the idea of that is crushing.

You’re already such a ray of sunshine, a soothing force against the hectic work days, so he wants to ensure that you’re also content.

He’s writing down the remnants of a composition he recalls, testing his memory of his distant past life, when everything starts to click into place. The stars align as he writes in the final notes, reviewing the completed composition with tranquil eyes.

If he’s right, it should be played slow and steady, transitioning between notes of melancholic hope and satisfied bitterness. Quite a tragic piece, if he’s being honest, but maybe that was his intention. Or his memory might be faulty. Either way, he’s certain that this composition describes his inner turmoil perfectly. Bittersweet like chocolate and uncertain like his intuition.

Nine can’t remember the name to this particular composition, so he writes the first thing that comes to his mind.

The moment he finishes writing your name is definitive proof of what he’s feeling.

Some would say it’s a crush, and others would say it’s unfiltered endearment. Regardless of what it is, it holds the same implications.

Nine’s in love.

Though his previous life was cut short and he refuses to sort through his cracked past, he has all the time in the world to start anew. And that’s all he needs to act upon these feelings that have blossomed.

It’ll take time, but he knows that he’ll be able to confess when he’s certain that his love isn’t completely one-sided.

In the 14th Department, Nine seems to wear his smile purposefully, and there’s a bright shine in his gaze.

🍦 Day 🍦

He’s with you 24/7. At least, that’s what it feels like to you.

Realistically, it’s because of your role as manager. But at some point he just starts to forget that that’s your job and he begins to consider you a friend.

He’s in your office all the time, sitting on a swivel chair or trying to lounge on your desk while you’re writing up reports.

In the beginning, you would always kick him out, lightly advising him that work hours are not play hours—even if there aren’t any ongoing missions.

But Day is so loyal, constantly flitting around you like a butterfly. He seems to smile even brighter when you address him, and despite his carefree demeanor he wants to provide as much help as he can.

“Let me carry that, Manager!” or “Hey, hey! We should get ice cream to celebrate your hard work. I want to take you to the best place. You have to try the new flavors with me!”

You give up pushing him away and start to welcome him into your office.

The other Reapers begin to suspect something’s up, especially those who are more perceptive than the others. Day’s own team members can’t help but wonder what’s got him so fascinated with you.

He claims he can never be bored when he’s around you, which proves to be true because this man can talk about anything and everything.

All it takes is for you to mention that you’re in the mood for something sweet, and he’ll be on that topic faster than a moth to a light.

Without meaning to, he memorizes all of the information he learns about you, accidentally mentioning some facts during a conversation.

It makes you realize just how close he pays attention to you.

Even Nyang Lead Manager has noticed his attachment, but he’s uninterested for the most part. As long as Day doesn’t let himself get distracted from work, he’s not bothered.

But it makes things harder for you. Your focus diminishes whenever he’s near, so much so that you begin to take in different aspects of his actions.

He rarely blushes, but when he does it’s usually whenever you do something that warrants bashfulness. And he’s started to compliment you a lot now, always recognizing changes to your fashion.

Day happens to be relaxing in his dorm, reading an ancient tome about magic and its connection to the heart, when it finally makes sense.

Wait. Hold on.

He peers at the symbols with undeterred intensity, recalling memories of you and him. Eerily, his feelings fit the exact description in the book.

He really does spend a lot of time with you, and you’ve been occupying his thoughts day and night since he first got to know you. Some would say it’s too much, but you can never have enough of something you love.

Love. That’s the word he was looking for.

He’s in love. True, real, authentic love.

Day pops up from his sitting position so fast it almost throws him off balance. The other Noctu members look at him in confusion, but he’s too busy to even give them an explanation.

Now wired with too much excitement to feel worried, he rushes through the 14th Department, completely shirtless and in a hurry to get to your office so he can give you a rambling soapbox speech about his inner thoughts and feelings.

Someone give him a shirt before he gets himself in trouble with Nyang.

[riddlegecko]

Hello! So, for your borrowers Au, I know you mentioned Paul sometimes intentionally/accidentally leaves some stuff behind for Emma, even if they’re not supposed to take it. Has he ever left anything behind as a gift that Emma holds dear?

Most of the time, Paul's offerings to Emma are just like,,, bits of food that's small enough for her to carry. Bay leaves, chopped up veggies he was using for soup, sometimes pieces of snack food that Emma mentioned liking (one time he "accidentally" broke off half of a fudge stripe cookie and dropped it on the ground for Emma because she mentioned that she and Tim like them, and she greatly appreciated that).

BUT! Sometimes Paul does leave her little gifts that aren't food. Mostly sticky notes with little doodles on them. Emma loves them, she decorates her bedroom walls with them. There's two in particular that Emma treasures dearly, both made when her relationship with Paul started to lean more romantic.

Most of the doodles are just that, doodles. Cute, quickly drawn, and a little scribbly. But there's two that Paul spent a lot of time on bc he wanted to get them just right. First was a drawing of some of Emma's favorite flowers. He'd been subtly prodding at her to reveal her favorite flowers for some time at that point. Paul knew that he couldn't get Emma real flowers (would've been too suspicious to Tom if Emma came home with flowers considering they live on the fifth floor of an apartment complex), so he figured drawing them would be the next best thing. They were all different types of flowers that grow in the Witchwood.

The second was a drawing he made of Emma herself. At first, Paul debated with himself over whether or not he actually wanted Emma to have it (he was worried she'd find it more creepy than sweet), but he ended up giving it to her personally when she dropped by his room for a visit a few days after he finished the drawing. Emma was just so touched, not to mention blown away at just how detailed the drawing was.

Emma's been explaining the drawings to Tom and Tim by saying "oh, the Being just leaves these little sketches around the apartment sometimes, and I thought they'd look nice in my room". But since she can't really let Tom see that "the Being" drew her, she keeps that drawing hidden behind another one of Paul's post-it drawings in her room, admiring it when Tom's not around.

[chilling-seavey]

Christian and Lucy touring the Canadian College of Performing Arts ~T

Was waiting for this one 🥰 I made some social media peeks too hehe

“They’re just so not being fair.”

“They just want what’s best for you.”

“By being annoying?” Lucy scoffed, jumping up onto the kitchen counter beside Christian who was making tea for the family.

“By being overprotective.” Christian chuckled. “My parents took some convincing to let me study acting too.”

“Ugh.” Lucy frowned, leaning her head back against the cupboards.

“Instead of begging and begging and begging, come to them with stats.” Christian suggested. “I mean, look at me; I’m completely financially stable and graduated with a major in acting. Who’s to say you can’t be the same?”

“Dad’s just so dramatic and Mom worries too much. There is no way they’ll let me.”

“Do you even have a school in mind?”

“A few.” Lucy shrugged.

Christian glanced over to the living room before looking back to her and lowering his voice, “Any out here?”

“In Vancouver?” Lucy’s eyes went wide.

“Across the bay is one of the top performing arts schools in the country. They have campus tours this week…I could take you if you’re interested.”

“Really?” Lucy grinned. “I mean I never even thought of schools in BC but you can’t argue with the top school in the whole country.”

“We’ll get up early and go tomorrow then?” Christian offered.

“Yes! Thank you!” Lucy jumped off the counter and threw her arms around him.

“Just don’t tell your parents.” Christian whispered.

The next morning, Lucy’s alarm went off at 4:30am and she sprung right out of bed and rushed over to her suitcase to grab her outfit she had laid out the night before. The rest of the house was silent as she got ready, quietly sneaking through the bathroom as she dressed and washed and did her hair and makeup. She scribbled a note for her parents that she was spending the day with Christian (not disclosing what they were doing) and slipped it under their bedroom door before rushing downstairs, backpack already on and full of notebooks and portfolio pieces and her jacket tucked over her arm.

Christian was parked in the driveway for 5:45 and she rushed down the front steps and hopped into the passenger seat of his car with a chipper “Hi!”

“Hi, sunshine. You’re happy considering the hour.” Christian chuckled as he backed out of the driveway.

“I’m so excited!” Lucy grinned.

“Me too.” Christian smiled over at her as they started down the street. “Should we stop for breakfast on the go?”

“McDonald’s hotcakes and an iced coffee are a must.” Lucy agreed.

It was a 40 minute drive to the ferry – including their stop through the McDonald’s drive through – and then a two hour ferry ride across the bay that they spent discussing their game plan for the day and recreating their favourite scenes from musicals in the front seat. The final 30-minute drive across Vancouver Island came as the sun was finally over the horizon, driving into Victoria with Lucy’s half-finished iced coffee and Christian’s empty energy drink in hand. They had a few minutes to spare before they had to meet the tour group, so they took a few Instagram shots outside the building.

“Discreet captions. Don’t be suspicious.” Christian said as they each typed up their posts.

“Mum’s calling me.” Lucy looked up at him.

“Don’t answer it.” Christian said, glancing back down at his phone as Daniel’s name flashed across his screen as he was being called too. He declined it, sharing a cheeky smile with his niece before taking her hand and leading her into the school.

“We might not live to see Christmas when wee get back.” Lucy said.

“What’s my baby brother gonna do?” Christian tisked, draping his arm around her shoulders as the headed to the desk to check in.

To say Lucy fell in love with CCPA would be an understatement. The campus was beautiful, located right on the coast with one side looking out over the Pacific Ocean and the dorms facing the bay and the Rockies in the distance, but the program was ever better. She collected as many pamphlets as she could and jotted down plentiful notes as they toured the grounds and the studio spaces. From dance studios to packed music halls, CCPA had everything that Lucy could have dreamt about and she muttered a “I swear I died and I’m in heaven” at least five times during the tour. It was like everything was falling into place. Plus, with the grades she had from school would offer her a solid benefit from the school itself meaning part of her tuition would be covered.

Especially when they entered the auditorium and Lucy literally squealed with excitement, the rest of the tour group looking at her as she took in everything like a kid in a candy store. Everything down to the wood trim along the walls had her in awe-struck silence and she pulled Christian after her onto the stage as the rest of the group poked around the seats.

The eighteen-year-old did a little spin on the stage, her arms outstretched wide and a huge smile on her face. She never wanted to leave.

When the tour was over, it was lunch time and Christian and Lucy stopped for lunch in the cafeteria.

“Oh my gosh, I need to go here.” Lucy said to him as they sat down with their trays, her eyes following a group of students in costume as they passed by. “Like, I need to go here.”

“What points do you have for your parents? You were scribbling notes furiously the whole time.” Christian said.

Lucy dumped out her pamphlets onto the table and flipped open her notebook, reciting all her facts to him and barely needing to read them off the page as she was so excited they just stuck to memory. They were interrupted by Christian’s phone ringing for another uncountable time that day.

“It’s your dad. I should probably answer him.” Christian said, answering the call and raising his phone to his ear. “Hey, Daniel.”

“Jesus, Christian! Where the hell are you? I’ve been calling you all morning.”

“Luce and I just took a day trip to Victoria. We wanted to see the Gardens.”

“In December?!”

“Yeah?” Christian cringed at the flaw in his lie and Lucy giggled from across the table, taking a bite of her burger.

“You can’t just take my daughter and not tell me!”

“I left you a note!” Lucy called loudly so her father could hear.

“An incredibly vague note!” Daniel retorted to Christian. He could hear Florence talking quickly in the background. “Dammit, bro. A text wasn’t too much to ask.”

“I know. Sorry. But we gotta go.”

“Chris-“

“We’ll be home soon.”

“Christian!”

“Love you!”

Christian hung up on him and stuffed his phone back in his pocket.

“We gotta go before your parents have a nervous breakdown.” Christian said to his niece and they packed up quickly and headed for the car.

Lucy fell asleep on the three hour drive back, knocked out from a long journey, a long day, and an incredibly early morning. Christian woke her up once they hit the mainland to get her awake in time for her debate with her parents. He bought her another coffee to wire her up a little and by the time they were home, just before dinner time, she was buzzing and ready to fight for her future.

Her sisters and aunt and uncle and grandparents were in the living room and her parents were in the kitchen grabbing something to drink as dinner was cooking. The family was talking amongst themselves, cut off with the sound of the front door being thrown open.

“Daddy! Mommy!” Lucy shouted loudly, kicking off her shoes and tossing her coat at Christian before rushing farther into the house.

Daniel and Florence barely turned the corner from the kitchen before she was throwing everything at them. She shoved the stack of pamphlets in their arms and started her loud tangent.

“Uncle Christian took me to the Canadian College of Performing Arts for a tour today and ohmygosh their musical theatre program is to die for!”

Daniel and Florence both shot their heads over to Christian with matching surprised glares and he struggled to bite back his cheeky grin.

“Listen!” Lucy grabbed her parents’ arms to bring their attention back to her. “Best performing arts school in the entire country! 100% employment rate post graduation and they even have a program to help you find careers before you even leave the school! And Uncle Christian graduated with a BA in Acting and he’s doing great! I can also add a minor in English so I can have a backup degree come graduation too if that would make you feel more comfortable. The school is offering me half off tuition for my great grades and great portfolio and resume! So it’s way cheaper than Clem and Nell’s tuitions and ohmygosh please, please, please, please, please let me apply!”

Lucy was literally jumping up and down, grabbing onto her parents’ sleeves in desperation. Florence and Daniel exchanged surprised glances at their youngest’s sudden outburst.

“I’ll do whatever you want just to get you to let me apply!” Lucy offered. “I’ll do all the laundry up to the day I move out! I’ll vacuum the apartment every week and…and…and dust! And scrub all the dishes by hand! I will do anything. Please, please, please let me go here!”

“They haven’t even accepted you yet, baby.” Florence chucked lightly.

“We all know she’d get in.” Daniel mumbled.

“She floored the tour group when she found a cello in one of the studios.” Christian pipped up casually on his way past.

Daniel grabbed his arm to keep him from walking away, “You’re not safe here either; sneaking our daughter around behind our backs.”

“Daniel, this school and this program is for her.” Christian said seriously, looking between the two parents. “I haven’t seen a senior this thrilled about school since you applied for UofT.”

“Exactly!” Lucy shouted, jumping up and down a few more times. “Daddy! You moved across the country at my age too! For your ridiculous program! I’ll be just like you!”

Florence and Daniel looked at each other again, sharing mirrored sighs, and looked back to their daughter.

“We aren’t guaranteeing anything,” Florence started, “We will need to talk a lot more about this, especially the possibility of moving to BC but-“

“But I can go?!” Lucy asked loudly.

“But you can apply.” Daniel corrected.

Lucy’s shriek nearly shattered the windows as she did a little happy dance and tugged her parents into a tight hug, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“This would have been a train wreck of a dinner if they said no.” Clementine said from the living room, the rest of the family watching Lucy throw herself into Christian’s arms for his own rush of ‘thank you’s.

Penelope shook her head slowly as they all watched the loud scene a few feet away, “How many coffees did he let her have?”

[8147]

reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge. 

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes. 

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie. 

Oh no. 

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist