#I was considering including a list of my favorite song from each of these. but the post was getting a little long. so I decided against it

[grassbreads]

@helpfulbug tagged me to share my favorite albums that came out in 2024! Thank you for the tag!!

Mine are:

Beyond Beyond Beyond by The Crane Wives

All Hell by Los Campesinos!

As It Ever Was, So It Will Be Again by The Decemberists

Alligator Bites Never Heal by Doechii

Yesterwynde by Nightwish

Dreamachine by Habibi

Unreal Unearth: Unending by Hozier

GLOOM DIVISION by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

What Happened to the Heart? by AURORA

Honorable mentions and bonus thoughts under the cut:

Honorable Mentions:

Hayfields by Yaelokre

Mononoke The Movie: The Phantom in the Rain Original Soundtrack (preview) by Taku Iwasaki

Antimai by The Dear Hunter

MEmento·MORI by 珂拉琪Collage

Act V: Hymns with the Devil in Confessional by The Dear Hunter

Okantomi by Okan

Hayfields and the Mononoke Karakasa OST are honorable mentions because they're a short EP and a preview respectively, not full-length albums. The rest of the honorable mentions are all albums that were not released in 2024, but were nonetheless so pivotal to me this year that I can't not shout them out. Antimai my album of the century.

I also listened to Salt For Salt by Brown Bird just as many times as any of the listed honorable mentions, though that particular fixation has been going on for longer than just 2024.

Including Unreal Unearth in the main list is maybe a bit of a cheat, but Through Me (The Flood) and Nobody's Soldier are my two favorite Hozier songs from this era by far, so Unending is the One True Version of the album for me, and that version did in fact release in 2024 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Also full disclosure, I didn't actually get around to listening to Alligator Bites Never Heal until like this week, so it wasn't really a 2024 album for me personally, but it blew me away to such a degree that it wins a spot in my 2024 top 9 by virtue of release date anyway. I probably would have included Something for Everybody by Sammy Rae & The Friends or Death or Glory by Palaye Royale in the list if it weren't for the late addition of Doechii, so consider those albums one last honorable mention.

I'll tag @scallioncreamcheesebagel, @aguacerotropical, and anyone else who might want to yap about music with me :).

[valeisaslut]

⭒࿐COLLIDE - c. six

credits for the fanart: nramvv - edited by me

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗

𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 & 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐃

← 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒 | 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 | 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 →

⚢ pairing: Rockstar!Ellie Williams x Popstar!Reader 𖥔 ݁ ˖

⭒ synopsis: After months of blurred lines and staged headlines, the truth finally breaks through—there’s no pretending anymore. You’re with Ellie now, for real. Wrapped up in tour dates, secret kisses behind curtains, and a love that’s grown too wild to hide. The concert is electric, the afterparty dizzy with heat, and through it all, you and Ellie can’t keep your hands—or hearts—off each other. 𖥔 ݁ ˖

⭒ word count: 12,3k 𖥔 ݁ ˖

⭒ content: smut, fluff, top/possesive!ellie, sub! reader, strap-on sex (r!receiving), oral sex (r!receiving), chocking, slapping, hair pulling, pet names, modern au, mention of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, cursing, violence, afab!reader, multiple part series, MEN AND MINORS DNI likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated 𖥔 ݁ ˖

Disclaimer: This chapter contains references to drug use. If you're sensitive to this topic, please read with caution or consider skipping. I aim to handle it with thoughtfulness and respect.

BREAKING: ELLIE WILLIAMS & Y/N MAKE HISTORY WITH THE FIRST QUEER KISS IN GRAMMY HISTORY!!! 🔥👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🚨

(Full emotional damage, A-list reactions, meme chaos, and internet meltdowns below. Proceed with caution.)

LOS ANGELES, CA — We tuned in for the music. We stayed for the drama. But what we got? A history-making, earth-shattering, culture-resetting moment so powerful it will be analyzed in LGBTQ+ archives, dissected in media studies courses, and quite possibly investigated by NASA—because the sheer gravity of this event sent us all into another orbit.

The 67th Annual Grammy Awards didn’t just give us winners, electrifying performances, and overpriced celebrity reactions—it delivered a full-blown revolution. The first QUEER KISS IN GRAMMY HISTORY unfolded before our very eyes, and the world has simply not been the same since.

Let’s break it down—frame by frame, reaction by reaction—because let’s be real: we are NEVER recovering from this.

THE PERFORMANCE THAT LEFT THE INTERNET IN RUINS.

🎥 [Video link attached. Side effects may include: heart palpitations, spontaneous screaming, and an urgent need to be laid to rest IMMEDIATELY.]

Our favorite agents of chaos took the stage for their highly anticipated duet of She, and within 0.2 seconds, we were all in grave, irreversible danger.

We’re talking eye contact and fleeting touches so intense they should be classified as a controlled substance. So charged they are now banned in 47 countries and counting.

At the end of the song, no warning, no buildup, not even a dramatic orchestral swell, just pure, undiluted lesbian cinema. Ellie turned to Y/N, locked eyes with her, and then—

💥 KISSED HER LIKE THEY WERE ABOUT TO BE TORN APART BY THE FORCES OF FATE. 💥

The audience? Absolutely feral. The cameras? MALFUNCTIONED. They couldn’t even keep up. Jesse and Dina, still on stage? Looking like they just witnessed a divine event.

And the celebrities?? Pure CINEMA.

Beyoncé – Shaking her head, slow clapping like she just witnessed the most powerful love story of our time. Taylor Swift – Allegedly whispering oh my god on an endless loop. Billie Eilish – Straight-up dropping her drink, mouth frozen in pure, unfiltered gay panic. Lady Gaga – Visibly screaming “MOTHERS.” Harry Styles – Nodding like a proud gay uncle.

No thoughts. No survival.

Just two sapphics rewriting history on live television.

THE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH THAT DESTROYED HUMANITY.

📸 [Clip attached. Send thoughts, prayers, and therapy bills.]

Y/N didn’t just win the Grammys—she owned them. FOUR AWARDS. A clean sweep. And as if that weren’t enough, The Fireflies won SIX. GRAMMYS. SIX. Sold-out arenas, chart-topping records, and now? A total obliteration of the competition.

But nothing—and I mean NOTHING—could have prepared us for the Category 5 emotional devastation that was Williams’ words at The Fireflies Album of the Year speech.

She stepped up to the mic, hands shaking, took one deep breath, and turned to look at Y/N with that look. The one we’ve seen a thousand times, but never like this—not this raw, not this real.

And then she said, voice steady but somehow still knocking the air out of everyone in that room:

"There are people who change you. Who tear you apart and put you back together in ways you never saw coming. And even when they annoy the shit out of you, you know—deep down—you’d be lost without them. And you are that person for me."

💀💀💀 WE WERE ALL DUG INTO GRAVES. 💀💀💀

The pause. The pause that shaved years off our collective lifespans. The pause that stretched out like the universe itself was holding its breath.

And then—

"And I just wanted to say that… that I love you."

👀👀👀 EXCUSE ME?????????? 👀👀👀

The crowd erupted. Jesse and Dina screaming in the background. A-listers clutching their chests like they had just been stabbed through the heart. The camera panning to Y/N—eyes wide, lips parted, staring into the distance like those words had just rewired her entire brain chemistry.

THE AFTERMATH: INTERNET MELTDOWN OF THE CENTURY.

✅ Twitter: Unrecoverable. Users filing for emotional compensation and group therapy. ✅ TikTok: Gone. Servers overheated on impact. Fandom historians drafting deep dives as we speak. ✅ TMZ (literally us): sprinting through the streets like it’s the Olympics of gay panic. ✅ Rolling Stone: Already calling it "the most iconic queer moment in music history." And you know what? YES.

And let’s take a moment for THE CONSERVATIVES. Fox News? Fuming. Boomers on Facebook? Typing in all caps about the ‘downfall of society.’ Every homophobe within a 50-mile radius? Visibly sweating and shaking.

Lesbians winning. History being made. Society upgraded.

AND WE. LOVE. TO. SEE. IT.

🔗NEW TMZ UPDATE: THE HAND-HOLDING, JACKET STEALING, AND CAFÉ DATE THAT FINISHED US OFF 🔥🚨

📸 [MORE Paparazzi shots and attached. If you thought you were safe, you were DEAD WRONG.]

Just when we thought we had barely survived the Grammys' emotional onslaught, Ellie and Y/N said, "Nah, stay in your casket."

Because the morning-after pap shots just dropped, and the afterglow is BLINDING.

And let’s talk TIMELINE. Not only did they spend the night together, but the afterparty photos have surfaced—whispered conversations, lingering touches, and Ellie looking at Y/N like she personally strung up the stars.

But those photos? Just the warm-up. Because the morning after, they were spotted strolling into a café, looking slow, soft, and disgustingly in love. Not their usual teasing, no performance—this was different.

This was "We-just-rewrote-history-then-I-rocked-your-world-and-now-we're-getting-coffee-like-a-married-couple" kind of energy.

🎥 THE EVIDENCE:

• Ellie leaning in too close, whispering something that had Y/N turning BRIGHT red.

• Y/N sipping coffee, still looking wrecked, while Ellie shamelessly stole bites of her croissant.

• Ellie’s oversized jacket swallowing Y/N whole. Ellie sitting across from her, smirking like she just won a championship.

Even innocent bystanders were left SHOOK. One café worker we interviewed allegedly had to take a deep breath before serving them, muttering, “the energy they have is actually too much to handle.”

And those final paparazzi shots? Our favorite rockstar holding our favorite popstar’s hand even tighter as they walked back onto the street, smiling like they just lived through the softest, most cinematic rom-com of all time.

TMZ is now officially in FULL surveillance mode. Every glance, every touch, every silent confirmation of what we already KNOW is happening—we’re tracking it ALL.

But what do YOU think? Drop your most unhinged comments below! ⬇️🔥

────────────

❤️ 20.3M — 💬 698.7K

📌 TOP COMMENTS:

@: We need a full forensic analysis of Y/N’s post-Grammys glow because sis walked out of that hotel looking RENEWED, REVIVED, AND REBORN

@: Ellie was gripping that mic like a stress ball when she said “I love you” 😭 girly was SO STRESSED SHES SUCH A LIL CUTIE

@: the way they walked into that café like they weren’t publicly obliterating us 8 hours ago 😂 

@: incredible day to be gay, my folks. my skin has just cleared.

@: WHY IS NOBODY TALKING AB THE AFTERPARTY PHOTOS OMG MY PHONE IS GONNA COMBUST FROM HOW HOT THEY ARE😩😩😩😩

@: I don’t know if I wanna study this moment in an LGBTQ+ history class or frame it and hang it above my bed like a religious shrine

@: y/n wearing her jacket like a trophy while Ellie sat there looking like the cat that ate the canary??? WHEN IT'S GONNA BE MY TURN😭

@: so much stuff happened in only one day omg that’s it I’m booking therapy and a heart transplant for all of us

@: Ellie just confirmed that she can pull both Grammys and souls straight out of bodies in one night. MY ICON.

@: it’s so crazy how they went from sneaky links to BUILDING A LITERAL LEGACY IN A FEW MONTHS.

@: that afterglow was so blinding I had to turn my brightness down just to process those café pics in peace

@: Ellie looked at Y/N on that stage like she was about to risk it all, and then she DIDDDD

@: The way the cameraman ZOOMED IN SO FAST like even he knew this was about to be a HISTORICAL LESBIAN EVENT™

@: honestly, someone get these women a throne already because they’ve earned it👑

@: they look so IN LOVE MY POOR GAY HEART CANT HANDLE IT 😭😭😭

@: I just KNOW the hotel walls were whispering the AFTERMATH of that speech I fear for the structural integrity of that building

The world had shifted.

Tilted into something softer, more tangible than either of you had ever expected.

What once had been an act, a perfectly curated illusion of stolen glances and well-timed touches for the cameras, had unraveled into something neither of you could fake. Not even if you tried.

At first, it had been easy to pretend. To play the part, to let the world believe in the effortless chemistry between you—because wasn’t that what they wanted? A fantasy to buy into, a love story they could project their own desires onto. And yet, now, the line between performance and reality had blurred.

No, blurred isn’t the right word. That suggests hesitation, uncertainty.

And there was none of that anymore.

Three months had passed since the Grammys. Since that night, that breathless moment when it all came crashing down and the truth between you was undeniable. Since the weight of what you felt had finally shattered through the surface, too big, too consuming to be ignored.

And now, there was no hesitation. No careful distance or unspoken boundaries.

Now, there were real dates—ones without touches already planned or pre-approved locations for paparazzi to conveniently “stumble” upon. There were late-night drives through LA with the windows down and her hand gripping your thigh, not for show, but because she simply wanted to touch you.

There were nights—late, hazy, endless—where conversation poured like wine, deep and heady. You talked about everything: life, death, music, the past, the kind of love that makes you reckless. Words slurred by exhaustion or laughter or both, but still honest, still yours.

There were lazy mornings tangled in bed sheets, her sleepy murmurs against your shoulder, the warmth of her breath fanning over your skin as she whispered things that weren’t meant for anyone but you.

For the first time in years, she was truly living—and so were you.

And the world was still watching, unaware of that shift.

The Fireflies’ world tour had shattered expectations, selling out in record time, each venue packed with thousands of voices screaming her name before she even stepped on stage. Articles hailed it as the tour of the decade. Fans camped outside arenas for days just for the chance to be there, to witness them in real-time. Every performance was electric, every setlist a journey, every night another testament to the fact that they weren’t just musicians anymore—they were a phenomenon.

You hadn’t planned on joining the tour—not at first. Your schedules rarely aligned, and even when they did, there was always another interview, another appearance, another commitment pulling you in opposite directions.

But then, against all odds, there was an opening.

A few weeks of unclaimed time—no press circuits, no obligations, just freedom.

And when she asked you to come with her, voice soft, fingers brushing against your wrist like she wasn’t sure if she had the right to ask, you didn’t hesitate.

"Just a little longer?" she had murmured, hopeful and hesitant, eyes flickering up to yours in the dim glow of her hotel room. "I just... I want you here. Pretty please?"

And how could you have possibly said no?

It was supposed to be one show. Maybe two. A brief escape, a chance to be with her without the constant press of cameras and expectations.

But then one show turned into another. And another. And suddenly, a week had passed, then two, and you had fallen into a rhythm that felt impossible to leave behind.

Cities changed, hotel rooms blurred together, flights stretched on endlessly—but none of it mattered. Because every night, the lights dimmed, the crowd roared, and she was there, bathed in neon glow, fingers weaving magic into guitar strings. And every time she turned her head mid-song, her eyes searched for you, always, always finding yours.

Backstage, she found you first. Always.

Her hands were on you before the door even clicked shut, dragging you into dressing rooms littered with half-empty water bottles, the scent of weed and sweat still lingering in the air. Her lips ghosted over yours in stolen moments between encore and afterparty, between exhaustion and adrenaline.

"Mine," she would murmur against your lips, against your pulse, against the curve of your shoulder as she pressed impossibly close. “You’re all mine.”

And for the first time, she wasn’t saying it for anyone but you.

Now, The remnants of last night’s party still lingered in your bones—loud music, flashing lights, the lingering taste of tequila and Ellie’s lips on yours in the middle of a crowded club.

The Fireflies had played to a sold-out arena in Seattle, the kind of show that left the whole city buzzing, and the celebration that followed had been nothing short of legendary. Shots had been poured without pause, bodies had swayed in the dim glow of neon, and Ellie had kept you close the entire night.

And now, neither of you really knew what time it is. The heavy hotel curtains swallowed the daylight whole, and your phones were lost somewhere in the mess of sheets and discarded clothes. It could’ve been minutes, or hours, or forever.

The room still smelled like the food you’d ordered earlier—warm, salty, comforting. You couldn’t even remember what it was now. The half-finished plates were still sitting on the room service tray by the door, forgotten the second Ellie had pulled you back into bed.

“Mm.” She hummed against your shoulder, voice thick with sleep. “This is so nice.”

You let out a breathy laugh, fingers combing idly through her messy hair. “Yeah, it really is.”

"Kinda wish the concert wasn’t happening so I could stay in bed with you."

She propped herself up on one elbow, tracing the curve of your jaw with her knuckles before leaning in to press a slow, lingering kiss to your lips.

“You should stay longer.”

You sighed, heart sinking a little. “Ellie…”

She groaned, dramatically flopping onto her back like you’d just told her the worst news imaginable. “Don’t ‘Ellie’ me. You can stay a few more days. A week, even. No one’s gonna miss you THAT much.”

You shot her a look. “If I stay longer, Rachel will actually lose her mind.”

As if on cue, your phone buzzed against the nightstand. You barely had to glance at the screen before groaning.

"Speak of the devil."

Ellie, ever the menace, snatched the phone from your hands before you could stop her. "Oh my God, let me answer it."

"Ellie, no—"

Too late. She swiped to answer and put it on speaker.

"Rachiee! Sweetheart! Light of my life! How are you?" Ellie crooned, voice dripping with mock sweetness. "We miss you sooo much!"

Rachel’s voice came through the receiver, flat and entirely unimpressed. "Put her on the phone before I destroy both of your careers."

Ellie grinned, completely unbothered. "Wow. Not even a hello? Ruuude."

She finally handed you the phone, stretching lazily like she had all the time in the world.

You sighed, bringing the phone closer to your lips as you slipped into your best fake sweet voice. “Heyyyy, Rach!”

“Finally,” Rachel huffed. “Please tell me you haven’t gone completely feral and run off with your little guitarist girlfriend permanently.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s been, like, two weeks.”

"Exactly! Two weeks! That’s forever in popstar time! Do you even remember what a red carpet looks like? What a concert is? Or have you fully transitioned into rockstar mode? Should I start booking tattoo and piercing appointments for you?"

Ellie, listening in, perked up and wiggled her eyebrows. "Ooh, now that’s an idea."

Rachel ignored her entirely. “When are you coming back? Be honest. I need to mentally prepare myself.”

You hesitated, glancing at Ellie, who was watching you with a small, hopeful smile. "I don’t know. A few more days? I still have some time before—"

"You said that last week," Rachel cut in. "I swear to God, if you ghost me again—"

"I wouldn’t ghost you," you protested. "I’d just… delay."

Rachel groaned, audibly restraining herself. "Okay, look. I’ll give you five more days. Five. That’s almost another week. Then I’m calling in reinforcements."

You narrowed your eyes. “What does that mean?”

"It means that if you’re not on a flight back by Sunday, I’m personally calling your publicist and scheduling you for back-to-back interviews until your vocal cords give out."

You gasped. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would.”

Ellie, who had been listening with great amusement, turned to you with a smirk. "Damn. Blackmail? That’s cold. Even for you, 'Chel."

Rachel sighed, clearly so done with both of you. "I’m hanging up now. Enjoy your little love tour. Don’t forget you have an actual career. Oh, and send kisses to Dina and Jesse! Bye-bye."

The call ended with a beep. You tossed your phone onto the bed with a groan, burying your face in a pillow. 

"Ughhh, she’s the worst."

“She’s the best,” Ellie corrected. “But also, screw her. Stay longer.”

You rolled onto your side, propping yourself up on one elbow. “You know I can’t. I’ve got promo, interviews, studio time—”

Ellie made an exaggerated gagging noise. “Ugh. Responsibility.”

“Yes, responsibility,” you teased, poking her side. “Not all of us get to run around the world playing shows and partying every night.”

Ellie scoffed. “Excuse you, we do very important work. Rock is a cultural movement.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Dina literally got so drunk two nights ago that she thought the hotel hallway was the stage and started doing an impromptu performance for the vending machine.”

Ellie snorted, fingers absentmindedly tracing lazy patterns on your bare back. “Okay, fair. But my point still stands.”

You sighed dramatically, dragging your fingers through her messy hair. “I wish I could stay forever, Els, but I can’t. Real life calls.”

Ellie made a low, disapproving noise and tightened her arms around you, pressing you flush against her. “Fine. But I’m gonna sulk about it.”

“You always sulk,” you pointed out, lips curving as you kissed her collarbone softly.

“Yeah, but now I have a reason.” Her voice dropped, husky and teasing, as she reached up and tilted your chin with two fingers. 

Her thumb dragged lazily over your lower lip, eyes flicking between your mouth and your gaze before she kissed you—slow, deep, like she was trying to rewrite your entire schedule with just her lips.

And honestly? It was almost working.

A soft, pleased sound slipped from your throat as she deepened the kiss, tongue sliding against yours in a way that made warmth pool low in your stomach. Your hands smoothed over her shoulders, nails grazing her skin just to hear the way her breath hitched against your lips.

You grinned and, without breaking the kiss, shifted to straddle her waist, rolling her onto her back in one smooth movement. Ellie let out a small, surprised noise but didn’t hesitate to settle beneath you, her hands sliding down your back, lingering before gripping your ass in a way that made you shiver.

“You’re trying to distract me.” she murmured, voice low, teasing. But you could feel how her fingers flexed against you, betraying the nonchalance in her tone.

You hummed, dragging your lips along the sharp line of her jaw, letting your teeth scrape just enough to make her exhale sharply through her nose. Then you kissed down the column of her throat, warm and wet and slow, biting down lightly at the spot just beneath her pulse point.

"Is it working?" you whispered sultrily against her skin before rolling your hips down against hers—slow and completely on purpose.

A sharp inhale. A low groan. Ellie’s hands gripped your ass tighter, fingers flexing like she was debating whether to pull you closer or pin you in place.

“Fucking hell,” she muttered, voice rough, head tilting back slightly as your mouth dragged even lower. “If this is your idea of distraction, then—”

And then.

It happened.

The door. The godforsaken door.

It slammed open so hard it bounced off the wall, and before you could even process what was happening—

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FU—”

Ellie jolted so violently she nearly kneed you in the stomach, hands gripping your waist like she was about to physically take you down with her in some tragic last-ditch effort to escape. Unfortunately, gravity had other plans.

In her desperate attempt to react—poorly, at that—she twisted awkwardly, sending both of you toppling off the bed in a tangle of limbs, sheets, and very bad decision-making skills.

You hit the floor with a thud, sprawled half on top of Ellie, dazed and breathless.

Not your most dignified moment.

Jesse stood in the doorway, made a strangled choking noise, and immediately shielded his eyes like he had witnessed a murder. Dina was right behind him, one foot in the room before she sensed the absolute depravity she had just walked into—and immediately spun to face the wall like she was repenting for her sins.

“Oh my fucking GOD.” Dina gasped so dramatically she sounded like she was about to faint.

“ARE YOU BOTH SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!” Jesse practically howled, clutching his head like he had just suffered irreversible psychic damage. “DO YOU KNOW HOW TRAUMATIZING THIS IS FOR ME? I CAN NEVER UNSEE THIS. EVER.”

Ellie, still flat on her back beneath you, scrambled for the sheets like a soldier diving for cover, yanking them over both of you in a half-assed attempt at modesty. You, frozen in pure horror, tried to adjust the fabric but quickly realized Ellie had essentially burritoed you into it in her blind panic.

“Ellie, let GO!” you hissed, fumbling for a better grip.

“I AM covering you!” she shot back, hands tightening protectively around the fabric. “Mostly!”

Dina, still very much facing the wall like she was in a confessional booth, smacked Jesse’s arm violently. “I told you to knock! But noooo, you just had to be all bro-y about it—”

Meanwhile, you and Ellie were still locked in a silent but intense tug-of-war with the sheets

"I DIDN’T THINK I’D HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT NUDITY AT NOON ON A WEDNESDAY!" Jesse shrieked. "I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING READY FOR SOUND CHECK."

Ellie, wild-eyed and defensive, shot back, “WELL, WE HAD OTHER PLANS, JESSE.”

“YEAH, NO SHIT.”

Jesse, still covering his face, took a cautious step backward. “I swear to God, if I ever—EVER—walk into something like this again, I’m deleting both of your numbers. I’ll pretend I never met you. I’ll move to another state.”

“You literally didn’t even see anything!” Ellie argued, still clutching the poor, wrinkled sheets against her chest like a scandalized Victorian widow.

“I SAW ENOUGH.” Jesse wheezed, voice cracking under the weight of his trauma.

Dina, still facing the wall, inhaled sharply through her nose. “Both of you. Clothes. Now.”

Ellie raised an eyebrow, stubbornly holding onto the sheets. “You’re both still in the room.”

“BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T LET US LEAVE.”

“No one’s stopping you!” you pointed out, voice still slightly breathless from the absolute whirlwind of events.

Dina turned, grabbed Jesse by the sleeve like an annoyed babysitter, and yanked him toward the door. “We’re leaving. Right now.”

“Gladly.”

With one last, suffering groan, Jesse practically launched himself out of the room. Dina followed, but not before pausing in the doorway to shoot you both one last, deeply exasperated glare—like she was seriously reconsidering all of her life choices up until this exact moment.

Then, just as the door was swinging shut behind them—

THUD.

A loud, resounding bang as Jesse, in his blind panic to escape, ran face-first into the hallway wall.

A muffled curse. A few seconds of silence. Then hurried footsteps as they both disappeared down the hall.

The room was finally, blessedly quiet.

Ellie exhaled slowly, running a hand down her face before turning to you with an infuriating smirk.

“So, uh…” She nudged your thigh under the sheets, eyes glinting with amusement. "Guess we should… actually get dressed before the show."

Backstage hums like it’s wired to a live wire—techs zigzagging across the floor, lights blinking, last-minute mic checks echoing off the walls. Someone’s blasting the opener’s tracklist through a crackling monitor, but it’s all background noise. Your eyes are locked on Ellie.

She’s perched on a flight case, guitar slung across her chest, head down as she tunes with the kind of focus that could bend time. Calm. Steady. Jesse lounges nearby, casually spinning a drumstick between his fingers while Dina's aggressively fiddling with his in-ear like it personally betrayed her.

When you walk in, all three of them look up like they just saw a ghost—and unfortunately, they have receipts.

“Well, well,” Jesse says, eyes narrowing. “Survivor number two has entered the building.”

Dina doesn’t even blink. “Jesus. I thought I was past it. But nope. Flashbacks."

“You barged in!” you protest, cheeks already on fire.

“You didn’t lock the door!” Jesse counters.

“We did!”

“It clicked. That’s not locked.”

“Also, we thought you were sleeping,” Dina adds. “We didn’t expect National Geographic: Homoerotic Edition.”

Ellie groans, dropping her pick and muttering, “Y'all are insufferable.”

You cover your face. “I hate you both of you.”

“No, you don’t,” Jesse says. “You love us. Just maybe not as much as you love straddling our frontwoman while the blinds are open.”

“Yep. Blinds OPEN. Some poor guy on the third floor probably thought HBO was filming a new season of Euphoria.”

Ellie laughs under her breath, shaking her head as you shuffle towards her, mortified. She meets you halfway, her fingers brushing yours for just a second—quiet, grounding.

“They’ll get bored eventually,” she murmurs.

“Will we?” Jesse calls.

“Absolutely not,” Dina answers instantly. “I’ve already started the group chat. Title: Naked & Afraid: Ellie and Y/N Edition. First meme drops at midnight.”

You groan. “I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not,” Ellie says, bumping her hip against yours. “You like it too much.”

Someone yells five minutes from down the hall, and just like that, the air shifts. The jokes fade into muscle memory.

Jesse rises, spinning his sticks once before tucking them into his waistband. Dina slings her bass over his shoulder, jaw tightening as she gets in the zone. Ellie adjusts her strap and rolls her shoulders back, her whole body going still in that focused, ready way she always does before a show.

You step in front of her, ignoring the flutter in your chest. There’s a stray curl falling over her forehead, and you push it back gently, letting your fingers linger. She leans into the touch like it’s the only thing keeping her tethered.

“Kill it out there, love” you whisper.

She gives you that and stupidly hot half-smile that does unspeakable things to your heart. “For you? Always.”

Then she turns—and walks straight into the flood of stage lights, swallowed by the roar of thousands screaming her name.

The concert unfolds in a blur of sound and color, but Ellie... Ellie is impossible to blur.

She commands the stage like she was born beneath those lights—like the spotlight is her natural habitat, and the rest of the world just orbits her. The crowd knows it. Feeds off it. They scream for her until their vocal chords give out, hands lifted like reaching for something divine, faces lit up with the kind of awe you don’t fake.

Gold and crimson lights pour down from above, painting her in fire as her voice cuts through the air—sharp, aching, alive.

You’ve seen her play before. From the front row, from the wings, from the back of dim green rooms watching through grainy monitors. But somehow, it always feels like the first time. Like something’s knocking the wind out of you and you can’t stop chasing the feeling.

Because watching Ellie on stage is like falling in love in real time. Over and over again. Like your heart’s being rewritten to the rhythm of her guitar.

Behind her, Jesse is all swagger and muscle memory, pounding rhythm into the floor with a grin like he knows he’s killing it. Dina moves with that quiet, lethal grace—cool, controlled, grounding them all like gravity in a black tank top and boots. They’re tight, messy, magnetic. They’ve done this a thousand times, but tonight, they’re alive in a different way. Lit up from the inside.

And Ellie—she’s the center of it all. The fuse. The flame.

And even with thousands of voices calling for her, she still finds you.

Over and over, her gaze drifts sideways—to the shadows where you stand. A glance. A smirk. A lyric delivered softer than the rest, like a note passed under the table. Like a secret. Like a dare.

Then, between songs, just as the crowd’s scream builds like thunder, she edges closer to your side of the stage. Not enough to draw attention—just enough that only you can see the mischief in her eyes. That familiar, infuriating, heart-shattering little grin.

She leans in slightly, eyes locked on yours, and mouths it like a sin:

“You’re the only one I’m singing to.”

And you feel it—low in your stomach, high in your throat, blooming warm across your chest. Like she’s kissing you without ever touching you. Like she’s pulling you under with a single look.

She holds your gaze a second longer—just long enough to ruin you—then turns back to the mic, her voice crashing into the next lyric like she never stopped.

But you’re still standing there, heart pounding like a kick drum, skin buzzing with everything unsaid.

And you'd fall for her a thousand more times just to feel this again.

The moment your car pulls up to the club, you feel it—that wild, charged buzz in the air. It’s the afterparty, pulsing with leftover adrenaline from the show, and the second you step out, it’s like a spotlight snaps on. The crowd turns, eyes finding you instantly, tracking you like heat-seeking missiles.

Seattle’s nightlife is alive around you, neon lights cutting through the misty darkness, reflecting off the slick pavement like broken glass. The city hums, thick with movement, sound, heat. The bass from inside the club thrums through the walls, a deep, pounding heartbeat that seeps into your skin. 

But it’s nothing compared to the frenzy waiting outside.

Jesse steps out first, rolling his shoulders before throwing an arm around Dina’s shoulders. The second they hit the pavement, the flashes start. A rapid-fire onslaught of white light, camera shutters clicking in sync with the shouts already building.

Ellie exhales sharply, jaw tight, fingers twitching at her side. She’s used to this—so are you—but that doesn’t mean you like it.

“Y/N! Over here!” ““Ellie, is it hard performing love songs with your girlfriend in the front row?” “Y/N did she sing every song just for you or what?” “Huge night for both of you—what’s next for music’s golden couple?”

Her hand finds yours, fingers lacing tight, grounding herself in you.

And then—

“Ellie! You cool with dating someone who buys their awards?”

The words slice through the chaos like a blade.

The crowd keeps moving, the cameras keep flashing, but to you, everything goes still.

Ellie falters mid-step.

It’s small—so small that no one else would notice—but you feel it. The way her grip tightens. The way her muscles go rigid beside you.

She turns her head slowly, a deliberate, calculated motion. The kind of slow that sets alarms ringing in your head. The kind that means whoever just spoke? They just fucked up.

Ellie’s voice is low, but somehow still cuts clean through the noise. “The fuck did you just say?”

The paparazzi doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t back down. If anything, his smirk widens, like he’s enjoying this. Like this is sport. He shifts his camera, leveling his gaze at you like you’re an exhibit on display.

“Just saying, must be nice, huh? All that talent in the world, and yet—" He tilts his head, voice dripping with false sympathy. "Guess it helps when the game’s already rigged in your favor.”

Your stomach knots, but you don’t flinch. You’ve been in this industry long enough to give him what he wants—too good at swallowing the burn and keeping a straight face through it.

Ellie, though?

Ellie doesn’t give a fuck about playing nice.

“You wanna say that again?” Her voice is louder now, razor-sharp, dangerous.

Jesse mutters, “Oh, fuck,” and shifts closer. Dina watches, eyes flicking between you and Ellie, lips pressed into a tight line.

But the guy isn’t done. He shrugs, feigning innocence. 

“No disrespect, I just call it like I see it. Cute little popstar, riding high on all those industry favors. And hey, gotta give her credit—" his smirk deepens, cruel and cutting, "—she knows how to sell it. Flash a little skin, make the right people happy, and suddenly, she’s the biggest thing in the world.”

That’s when Ellie moves.

One second, she’s beside you. The next, she’s lunging.

Jesse barely catches her in time, his hands locking around her shoulders, yanking her back as she strains against him.

"You motherfucker!—" Ellie’s voice is a snarl, raw, venomous.

The pap flinches, just slightly, but he covers it with another smirk. “Damn, protective, huh?” He raises his camera. “Let’s get a shot of this. ‘Ellie Williams Loses It Over Question About Y/N’s Career’—catchy, huh?”

Ellie lunges again, this time so violently that Jesse stumbles back.

“You better shut the fuck up before I smash that camera over your fucking head.”

You grab her arm, your voice urgent. “Ellie, he’s trying to get a rise out of you. Don't listen.”

But she doesn’t budge. Her chest rises and falls in harsh, uneven breaths, shoulders squared, body thrumming with tension.

“Jesus, relax. No need to get your panties in a twist, sweetheart.”

His voice drips with mock sympathy as his gaze drags disgustingly slow down your body.

“I get it, though. She’s got the look, right? That pretty little face, those tight outfits—” He whistles, low and slow. “No wonder she’s everybody’s favorite.”

The he sneers, eyes flicking over you with open malice.

“What a shame. All that effort to make you every guy’s wet dream, and you’d rather be some dyke’s lapdog.”

And that’s the last fucking straw.

“ELLIE!” your voice rips out of you, but it’s too late.

Ellie doesn’t pause. Doesn’t blink. Doesn’t think.

Her fist connects with his face so fast, so clean, it barely looks real—until the sound hits. A brutal crack that slices through the chaos like a lightning strike.

The pap stumbles back with a choked grunt, hands flying to his face just as blood gushes between his fingers. He screams something garbled—half words, all rage—but Ellie’s already stepping forward, eyes blazing.

Jesse lunges forward, shoving Ellie back as the guy staggers, his fury bleeding through his shock. “You crazy fucking bitch!”

“You talk like anyone gives a fuck what you think,” she growls, her voice low and ragged, somehow cutting clean through the shouting, the flashes, the chaos. “You’re just a fucking pussy with a camera and a hard-on for women way out of your league.”

Security’s shouting now. Dina’s beside you, tense, pulling at your arm. Jesse’s got both hands on Ellie, holding her back as she surges forward again.

“Go write your shitty headline,” she growls. “And make sure you put in big bold letters that a dyke broke your fucking nose for talking shit about her girl.”

The pap takes a staggering step back, visibly shaken now—rage giving way to fear.

Dina grips your arm tighter, pulling you. “We need to go. Now.”

More cameras are snapping, more voices yelling. Security starts moving in, the club’s bouncers stepping forward to break things up.

You reach out, grabbing Ellie’s hand. Her skin is hot, trembling. You squeeze. “Ellie,” you whisper, urgent, steady. “Come on. Let's go.”

For a second, she doesn’t move.

And then her eyes meet yours—something in her expression cracking, softening just enough—and she exhales like it’s the first breath she’s taken since she swung.

She nods, lets you pull her away.

Inside, the club is dark and loud, bass shaking the walls, lights slicing through bodies in flashes of color. It should feel overwhelming—but next to the chaos outside, it feels like sanctuary.

Ellie doesn’t let go of your hand.

Not for a second.

Dina exhales, shaking off the tension. “Jesus, Williams. You wanna take it down a notch?”

“Take it down a notch?” she huffs, still flexing her fingers like she’s trying to shake out the ghost of impact. “He’s lucky I didn’t fucking kill him.”

Your grip tightens around her hand, tugging her close as you move through the crowd. She’s still wound tight, shoulders stiff, adrenaline thrumming through her.

You lean in, voice low against her ear. "Ellie, what the hell was that?"

She snorts, but the tension in her jaw doesn’t ease. "What? He was a piece of shit."

"Yeah, he was. And that last thing? He fucking had it coming." You exhale, shaking your head. "But you punched a pap, Els. This is gonna be everywhere by morning.”

Ellie tilts her head, lips curling at the edges. "You think I care?"

You glance at her knuckles, still faintly red, and sigh. "I think you’re impossible."

Ellie grins, sharp, wicked. "Nah, if I was really trying, I’d be in cuffs right now." Then, after a beat, she smirks. "And not the fun kind."

Despite yourself, you huff a laugh.

Ellie watches you for a moment, something shifting in her expression. Then, quieter, she mutters, “You know all he said was bullshit, right?”

Your breath catches.

Because, of course, you know that. You’ve heard worse. You’ve been in this game long enough to have every insult thrown at you from every angle. 

But hearing Ellie say it—hearing the fire still lingering in her voice, the protectiveness laced beneath her irritation—makes something warm curl in your chest.

You nod. “I know.”

She watches you closely, eyes scanning your face like she’s searching for something—any flicker of doubt, any sign that the words got to you. And if she finds even a hint of it, you know she’ll march right back out there and finish what she started.

So you reach up, fingers grazing her jaw, tracing along the sharp line of it, your touch gentle enough to soften the tension still coiled in her muscles. 

“Still, you didn’t have to do all that.”

Ellie exhales sharply, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Are you serious right now?” Her voice is low, incredulous. “You think I was just gonna stand there and let that piece of shit talk about you like that?”

You sigh, dragging a hand through your hair. “No, but Ellie—now the headlines are gonna be all about this. Not about the concert, not about us. Just about you throwing a punch.”

Ellie scoffs, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face, still crackling with leftover adrenaline. “Good. Let ‘em talk. Maybe next time they’ll think twice before running their fucking mouths.”

You groan, rubbing your temple. “You are actually insane.”

She shrugs, entirely unbothered. “Takes one to love one.”

You shoot her a look, but there’s no real bite behind it. Just exasperation… and something else. Something warmer. Deeper.

“Yeah. You’re lucky I love you.”

Her grin softens, just slightly. That fire in her eyes doesn’t go anywhere, but there’s something gentler flickering underneath now—something only you get to see. Her hands slide down to your waist, fingertips pressing into your sides just tight enough to make your breath catch.

Her voice dips to a low, dangerous murmur, her lips brushing your ear like a secret she only wants you to hear.

“No one gets to talk about you like that. Not to your face, and sure as hell not behind it. Not while i'm breathing.”

You swallow, the words sending a bolt of heat straight to your core.

You should probably be embarrassed by how instantly and shamelessly turned on that made you.

Instead, you blink up at her, pulse rabbiting. “Is that so?”

She pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, and there’s something in her expression—protective, defiant, maybe even a little wild.

“I don’t care who’s watching. I don’t care what they write. You’re mine. That’s the only headline I give a shit about.”

Your stomach flips, heat curling deep and low. Your voice comes out quieter than you expect. “You got a problem with being this obsessed?”

She tilts her head, smirking. “Not if you don’t.”

You pretend to think, tapping a finger against your chin. “Mmm… no, actually, I think I love it.”

Ellie huffs a laugh, brushing her nose against yours, eyes bright with something fierce. “Good. Because if something like that happens again?” Her grip tightens, her voice dropping to a gravelly promise. “I won’t stop at just one punch.”

You shake your head, biting back a smile. “You’re gonna get us both banned from every club in the country.”

Ellie grins wider, leans in like she’s about to kiss you, then whispers, “Worth it.”

And somehow, despite the chaos, the cameras, and the aching pull of everything else—you believe her.

The bass is still pulsing through the floor by the time you, Ellie, Dina, and Jesse regroup at the back of the club, far from the neon-lit drama near the entrance. Whatever happened with that asshole earlier is already fading into something distant, something half-laughed about under the thrum of low lighting and too many drinks.

You sink into the cracked leather booth, a drink in your hand that you definitely didn’t order, but Jesse shoved it toward you with a knowing smirk, so you drink it anyway. The ice clinks as you lean back, legs draped over Ellie’s lap. She doesn’t complain—just slides her hand over your thigh, casual, possessive, warm.

Dina’s laughing at something Jesse said, her curls wild under the strobe lights, eyes glassy from champagne and whatever she bummed off a stranger in the VIP section. “I swear to God, one of those paparazzi looked like he was about to cry when Ellie went full rage-mode.”

“His lens was shaking,” Jesse adds, holding his hands up like he’s gripping a camera. He mimics the tremble dramatically, then makes a wet, exaggerated sob. “She’s so scary.”

Ellie takes a slow drag from the blunt, eyes half-lidded, then exhales a thin stream of smoke towards the ceiling, like she’s bored with the entire planet. “Good. Maybe next time they’ll think twice before running their mouths for clicks like the desperate little bitches they are.”

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. There’s a glow in her, something loose and dangerous, but it’s not sharp like it sometimes is—it’s smooth, easy, like a song settling into the perfect rhythm. Her thumb moves in slow, lazy circles against your thigh, almost absentminded, like you’re her anchor. Like she needs the contact.

She’s watching you again.

She does that a lot. You’d noticed it before, but lately, it’s been different. Less teasing, more intent.

Like she’s trying to hold on to something that might slip through her fingers if she blinks.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you say, trying to keep your tone dry.

“Like what?” she murmurs, head tilting, that smirk already tugging at her mouth.

“Like you’re trying to decide if you want to kiss me or eat me alive.”

Ellie grins, leaning in, her breath warm against your skin. “Why choose?”

Jesse snorts beside you, slinging an arm over your shoulders, shaking you playfully. “Oh my God, you two are giving me PTSD about today’s incident. Can we please do something else before someone starts dry-humping on the furniture?”

You roll your eyes, a smile pulling at your lips, and reach for your drink. The last sip burns as you swallow it down, warmth spreading through your chest.

And that’s when you see it.

The small, discreet bag between Ellie’s fingers.

It’s quick. Effortless. No theatrics, no hesitation—just an easy flick of her wrist, tapping a neat, familiar line onto the back of her hand before lifting it to her nose. A sharp, practiced inhale. Blink, exhale. Done.

Dina follows suit, just as fluid. Jesse, already smirking, dips his pinky into the powder, rubbing it against his gums before tipping his head back with a satisfied hum.

It happens in seconds. Like breathing.

Ellie barely reacts, barely changes—just lets it settle into her system with an easy stretch of her neck, fingers drumming lazily on the table. Then she turns to you, smirking like nothing happened.

“You want some?”

You freeze for half a second.

It’s so casual. So normal. They’re not sneaking around, not whispering about it in some dimly lit back room. They’re doing it here, in the open, in a VIP booth where anyone with eyes could see.

And no one cares.

You glance between them, heartbeat ticking up. Jesse and Dina are already moving on, Jesse stretching like he just cracked his back, Dina stirring her drink. Ellie just watches you, waiting, tapping the blunt against the edge of the ashtray.

The whole thing is so… easy.

Your stomach tugs.

You shake your head. “I’m good.”

Dina grins, bumping her knee against yours. “You sure? Might take the edge off.”

You scoff, shifting back against the booth. “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

They laugh like it’s the funniest thing they’ve heard all night, like you just made a joke.

Maybe, to them, you did.

Jesse raises a brow, looking you over. “Wait, hold on.” He squints. “You really don’t do anything?”

You frown. “I drink. I smoke."

“Barely.”

Ellie tilts her head, amusement tugging at her mouth. “Love.” She gestures vaguely between them, between Jesse rubbing his gums and Dina fixing her lip gloss. “You really never noticed?”

You blink. “Noticed?”

Ellie exhales a soft laugh, shaking her head. “You never even thought about it?”

Jesse huffs. “Come on. Like we’re that subtle.”

Dina hums, sipping her drink. “I mean, think about it. Late nights, early flights, rehearsals, shows, interviews, afterparties—it’s a lot. You kinda have to even the playing field, y’know?”

Jesse gestures between the three of them. “It’s not even a thing. It’s just… part of it.”

Ellie shrugs, flicking ash from her blunt. “Part of the job.”

You stare at them.

You know this kind of thing happens. You’ve heard the stories, seen the headlines.

But it’s different when it’s right in front of you.

When it’s Ellie.

She’s watching you now, eyes a little sharper, movements a little looser. Reading you.

And you’re trying to read her back.

You let out a slow breath. “I just never... thought about it, I guess.”

Ellie leans forward, chin resting on her hand, smirking. “You’ve been in this industry for how long, and you never noticed?”

Jesse snorts, shaking his head. “Better question—how the hell have you never tried it?”

You blink. “I just… haven’t.”

Dina gives you a look like you just told her you’ve never had coffee before. “Not even once?”

Jesse whistles low, shaking his head. “That’s crazy.”

Ellie raises a brow. “Babe. Every celebrity does it.”

You roll your eyes. “Not every celebrity.”

Jesse holds up his hands, ticking off on his fingers. “Actors, musicians, models, producers—every single one.”

Dina leans in. “You’d be surprised. The clean-cut ones? The ones with all the brand deals and wholesome PR campaigns? Yeah. Especially them.”

Ellie smirks, exhaling smoke. “You think the people pulling sixteen-hour shoots and touring for months straight are just running on coffee and vibes?”

Dina swirls the ice in her glass. “Not saying you have to, but… if you’re really gonna be in this world, you should probably at least not be surprised about it.”

You exhale, pressing your tongue against the inside of your cheek.

They’re not pressuring you.

But they’re looking at you like you’re the weird one here. Like you’re missing something.

You let out a slow breath. “I guess I just figured…” You trail off, unsure how to finish that sentence.

Ellie tilts her head. “Figured what?”

You swallow. “That you guys didn’t—” You shake your head. “I don’t know. That you didn’t need to.”

Dina gives a soft, almost pitying smile. “It’s not about need.”

Jesse gestures vaguely. “It’s just what it is.”

Ellie watches you for a second longer, then reaches for your hand. Her fingers trace slow, lazy circles against your thigh.

"Look," she says, voice quieter now, just for you. "If this bothers you, I—"

"I didn’t say that." You squeeze her fingers before she can finish, grounding her right back. "I just… wanted to know."

Ellie tilts her head, searching your expression, reading you the way she always does. You can see the wheels turning in her head, trying to figure out where you're going with this.

After a moment, she exhales through her nose and smirks, though there’s something softer underneath it. "Babe, it’s not a big deal. I promise."

You hesitate, glancing between her and the others. Jesse and Dina are talking between themselves now, already moving on like this is the most normal thing in the world. And maybe, to them, it is.

Ellie squeezes your hand, bringing you back to her. "It’s just casual. I mean, fuck, it’s not like we’re doing lines off the bathroom floor or some shit." She grins, trying to ease the moment, but there’s a carefulness to the way she’s looking at you.

You exhale through your nose, tilting your head. "So, what? You just do it… sometimes?"

Ellie shrugs, leaning back against the booth. "Yeah. When it fits. Long nights, afterparties, when there’s, like, a million things happening and I don’t wanna feel like a corpse the next morning."

You press your lips together. "And it never…" You trail off, not really sure how to finish that.

Ellie’s smile falters slightly, just for a second, before she shakes her head. "It never what?"

You hesitate, but then—fuck it. "...Gets out of hand?"

Ellie’s brows lift slightly, like she wasn’t expecting you to go there. Then she snorts, shaking her head. "Jesus, babe. No."

"You sure?"

Ellie leans in, eyes flicking between yours. "I swear." She taps her fingers against your thigh, deliberate, measured. "This isn’t some cautionary tale. I’m not about to spiral and throw my career away."

She smirks, but it’s small, almost like she’s testing to see if you’ll smile back. "I know what I’m doing."

You watch her for a second, taking in the way she holds herself—calm, easy, unbothered.

It’s not like she’s high out of her mind.

She’s still Ellie.

The same one you love.

But still…

"I just never thought you…" You shake your head. "I don’t know. Needed it."

Ellie tugs at your fingers. "I don’t need it. It’s not like that."

"But you do it."

Ellie lifts a brow, a teasing lilt creeping into her voice. "And you drink. Same shit, different form."

You roll your eyes. "Not the same."

Ellie shrugs, smirking. "Depends who you ask."

Before you can argue, Jesse leans in, elbows on the table, like he’s just caught the tail end of something interesting. "What, is she giving you the responsible popstar speech?"

Ellie grins, nudging your knee. "Trying to."

Dina hums, sipping her drink. "Classic. Like when someone tries to pretend they’re above caffeine until they pull their third all-nighter and suddenly they’re double-fisting espresso shots."

Jesse snickers. "Or like when someone says they’re not a smoker, but you catch them bumming cigarettes when they’re drunk."

Dina points at him. "Exactly."

Ellie turns back to you, smirk still in place. "It’s not some dramatic, life-ruining thing, love. It’s just a thing."

You hold her gaze, searching for something—some flicker of doubt, some hesitation.

There isn’t any.

She believes what she’s saying.

And maybe she’s right.

Maybe you’re just making this into something it isn’t.

Maybe it really is just part of the world you’re both in.

A part you never noticed before.

A part you’ll have to get used to.

You exhale, slow, measured, and give Ellie’s fingers one last squeeze before pulling back.

"Alright."

Ellie watches you for a second longer, then nods, satisfied. "Alright."

And just like that, it’s done. No tension, no fight. Just a question asked and an answer given. A conversation tucked away, filed under things that don’t need to be thought about too hard.

Just another unspoken rule of the world you’ve found yourself in—the world of flashing cameras and private booths, of long nights and endless afterparties, of things done in the quiet corners where no one is really looking. It’s not a scandal, not a secret, not something to sound the alarms over. It’s just a thing. A thing that happens, a thing that exists. A thing you tell yourself doesn’t change anything.

Because Ellie is still Ellie. And you are still you.

And yet—something lingers. A feeling you can’t quite shake, something threading itself between the words left unsaid. Like a song playing in the background, too quiet to fully catch, but impossible to ignore.

Because if it were really nothing, if it were really just a thing, then why does the room feel different now? Why does the space between you seem stretched just a little thinner, pulled a little tighter? Like a thread has been tugged loose, unraveling something neither of you are ready to acknowledge.

This world is big. Bigger than you ever imagined.

And maybe, just maybe, some things are easier to pretend not to see.

And for a second—just a second—you forget.

The flashing cameras. The too-loud whispers. The weight of something unsaid curling at the back of your mind, asking questions you don’t want to answer.

And the other thing—the thing that made your stomach flip earlier—

That?

You push it under the surface.

Bury it beneath the music, beneath the flashing lights, beneath the warmth of Ellie’s hands on your waist.

Because what’s the point in thinking about it?

They’re used to this. They’ve got it controlled. It’s not a big deal.

So you don’t think about it.

You don’t let it pull at the edges of your mind.

You just dance, you just drink, you just laugh, and you tell yourself that's enough.

The music pulses through your body, a bone-deep rhythm that makes it impossible to focus on anything except the moment. Or maybe that’s just the liquor. The shots Jesse kept handing you. The heat of the dance floor, the press of bodies, the slick feeling of how Ellie keeps you close, always touching: a hand ghosting your hip, her fingers brushing the nape of your neck, her mouth near your ear, murmuring things too filthy or too sweet to repeat.

There’s a hum in your veins—not quite sobriety, not quite drunk. Just a loose, liquid feeling, like you could float if you let yourself.

She spins you lazily at one point, grinning like a hopelessly in love idiot, and you crash back into her chest with a laugh, breathless and dizzy. You don’t even notice the phones pointed your way anymore.

Ellie’s mouth brushes against your ear. “You’re killing me in that dress,” she murmurs, voice just barely audible over the music.

You smirk, tilting your head back to expose your neck, teasing. “Good. I want it to be slow and dramatic. Maybe in the middle of one of your solos.”

Ellie laughs, warm and real, pressing a lingering kiss to the curve of your jaw. You feel her smirk against your skin.

Nearby, Jesse and Dina reappear, looking equally buzzed and glowing under the club lights. Jesse immediately slings an arm over your shoulders, shaking you slightly. “Alright, pop princess, you’ve been hogging our frontwoman all night. Let’s make some bad decisions.”

Ellie scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Oh, like the ones you made on stage tonight?”

Jesse places a dramatic hand over his chest. “I was in the moment.”

“You almost fell off the drum riser,” Dina deadpans, sipping her drink.

“Almost,” Jesse corrects, pointing at her.

Dina just grins and flicks his ear.

The four of you dissolve into laughter—the kind that bubbles out of you too fast, too loud, soaked in tequila and something looser, softer. The kind that only happens after too much truth has already slipped out between kisses and choruses.

And then it hits you.

You grab Dina’s hand. “Come with me.”

She stumbles a little as you yank her through the crowd, weaving past bodies lit in flickers of purple and gold, right up to the DJ booth.

The DJ is tall, lanky, with bright blue hair that glows under the LEDs and round sunglasses that haven’t left his face all night, despite being, very obviously, inside.

“You got a request?” he asks, smirking.

You lean against the booth, grin lazy. “Play something off Louder Than Fate.”

He turns his head to eye you with practiced disinterest—until he really sees you. He freezes. His fingers go still on the mixer, eyes narrowing slightly. Then his jaw drops.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

You tilt your head, amused.

He points like he’s just put something together. “You’re Y/N.”

“In the flesh,” you say, leaning into the booth, smug and a little buzzed.

“And you came with The Fireflies?” His gaze darts past you, searching the crowd until he locks onto Ellie, who’s standing with a drink in hand, shirt sticking to her back, lip caught between her teeth like she already knows you’re up to something. Neon halos her hair. She looks like trouble in the kind of way that writes its own songs.

“Holy shit,” he mutters. Then, quickly, “Yo, I need a picture.”

You laugh. “Sure. You play my songs.”

His grin is instant. “That’s how it is?”

“Celebrity tax.”

He groans dramatically, already queuing up a track. “Y’all are savages.”

He leans in, voice conspiratorial. “Think she’d let me grab a photo too?”

You glance back at Ellie. Smirk.

“Keep the setlist good, and we’ll think about it.”

The DJ groans like he’s being tortured. “Y’all celebrities are ruthless.”

But the grin never leaves his face as the opening riff of I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor (click to hear) slams through the speakers.

The reaction is nuclear.

The club erupts.

The energy flips like a switch—higher, wilder, like everyone in the room has been waiting all night for this exact song. Bodies surge toward the center, arms shoot up, and the lyrics are shouted before the first verse even hits.

Back in the crowd, Ellie’s head snaps up. She sees you at the booth and just grins, shaking her head like: You little shit.

Jesse lets out a roar, throwing both arms in the air like he’s in a mosh pit. Dina yanks you into a triumphant hug, both of you practically vibrating with joy, and then you’re sprinting back into the thick of it—into the chaos you caused.

“Wait!” the DJ calls after you. “Do I still get my picture?”

“Keep playing bangers and we’ll talk!” you shout, already disappearing into the storm of bodies.

The moment stretches, long and bright and loud.

You sprint back to the floor, twisting through the chaos until you find Ellie.

She’s already reaching for you.

Already pulling you in like gravity.

“Hijacking the DJ?” Ellie says as she pulls you into her chest, her voice low, a little slurred from the tequila, vibrating straight through your ribs.

You laugh, looping your arms around her neck, flushed and breathless from the rush of dancing and impulse and her. “Just wanted to hear something good.”

Ellie leans in, her breath hot against your ear, her words dipped in amusement. “You know I wrote this song about you, right?”

You blink, confused, and then let out a scoff of disbelief. “You did not.”

“I did. Swear on my favorite guitar.”

You pull back just enough to see her face. “You’re kidding.”

She raises an eyebrow, amused. “Come on. Think about it. ‘Stop making the eyes at me and I’ll stop making the eyes at you’? You don’t remember the night we met?”

Your stomach does a slow, stunned flip.

“You were at the bar, trying so hard not to look at me. Kept turning away like I wouldn’t notice you watching. And I remember just... freezing. You looked unreal. Like—fuck.” She exhales a laugh. “You were the hottest girl I’d ever seen in my life.”

Your lips part, but no sound comes out.

“You were drinking some radioactive shit—bright green, probably illegal in five countries.”

“Tequila with lime,” you say automatically, almost dazed.

“Right. And before I knew it—”

“We were outside,” you finish for her, voice soft.

Ellie nods. “Heading to my hotel.”

Outside the bar. On the sidewalk. Where she’d stopped you halfway through a flirty, messy laugh and kissed you so hard it rewired something in your brain.

“You were freezing in that little red dress,” she says, her voice dipping a little, remembering. “Arms all tight across your chest, shoulders hunched like you were trying to hold yourself together.”

You blink. “Wait—that’s why you gave me your jacket? I thought you were trying to be cool.”

“I was trying to be cool. But I was also trying to keep you from turning into a popsicle before we got to the room.” Ellie nods, smug. “That line? ‘Your shoulders are frozen’? It’s not metaphor. It’s literally what I said while trying not to stare at your tits.”

You laugh, hiding your face against her shoulder. “That was so long ago.”

“And I still think about it,” she murmurs, her voice quieter now, fingers trailing lazily along your spine.

You glance up at her, heart thudding a little too hard against your ribs. “You didn’t even like me back then.”

Ellie gives you a look. One that’s sharp and tender and a little too honest.

“Didn’t I?”

You open your mouth—but nothing comes out. Because you know better now. You know what was tucked into all those half-finished demos and unsent voice memos. You know what she never said out loud but always let slip in the bridge.

You remember the nights you’d crawl into each other’s hotel rooms, hearts too full, too afraid, too something—and the mornings after, where you both pretended it didn’t mean anything. Pretended it was casual. Temporary. Disposable. Fake.

And then you’d each go write another verse you’d never show the other.

“How many songs did you write about me?” you ask, softer now. Your voice is low, nearly drowned by the music and the crowd. “I only guessed For Your Love.”

Ellie smiles, slow and a little dangerous. “Half the album.”

You freeze.

“What?”

She shrugs, like it’s nothing. “R U Mine? was about you. Fell In love with a girl? So obviously about you. So was See You Soon. I wrote that after you ghosted me for a week and I convinced myself you didn’t feel the same. And I could go on and on”

You’re staring at her like she’s just confessed to a crime. “You never said anything.”

“You never asked.” She shrugs, but her voice is gentler now. “Besides, Jesse kept calling me pathetic. He made me write My Own Summer just to get it out of my system.”

“Did it work?”

Ellie snorts. “No. I literally started the song with "Hey you, big star".”

Before you can even think of something to say—something clever or biting or half-sarcastic like you used to—the beat drops out. The energy shifts.

The lights dim to a sultry haze of violet and gold. And then—

That synth. Your synth.

Smooth and slow, thick as honey, spilling through the room with the kind of deliberate seduction only a song that means something real can pull off.

You’re singing the lyrics under your breath before you can stop.

“I'm so into you... I can barely breathe…”

Into you.

The opening lines melt through the room like syrup, and the crowd responds instantly. Bodies turn. Sway. The mood shifts—less chaotic, more sensual. The lights dim down to a violet haze, and the bass settles into something you can feel in your ribs.

Ellie looks at you like she’s time-traveling. Like she’s hearing the lyrics for the first time and understanding what they meant all along. In the way someone does when they remember something visceral.

“And all I wanna do… is to fall in deep…”

She keeps watching you with that half-lidded stare—the one that used to drive you insane when you were pretending you didn’t want her. When she’d sit on your hotel bed, tuning her guitar in nothing but a sports bra and boxers, and ask you for feedback on a verse that was clearly about the way you moaned.

She leans in close, her mouth grazing the shell of your ear.

“You really let them play this one?”

You shake your head, voice tight. “I didn’t. DJ picked it. Guess he knew exactly what he was doing.”

Ellie scoffs softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Or maybe,” she murmurs, “you just get everything you want.”

Her hand slides down your spine, a warm line anchoring you to her in the middle of all the noise.

You take a breath. It doesn’t help.

You exhale. “You knew it was about you, right?”

She doesn’t even blink. “I knew before you finished writing it.”

“You wanna know the worst part?” you murmur, quieter now. “That wasn’t the first one.”

“I know.”

You blink at her. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Ellie’s fingers drag slowly up your bare arm, warm and deliberate.

“Shameless was the first one that tipped me off. Then Touch it. Don’t Blame Me wrecked me a little. But Southbound?” She gives you a pointed look. “That’s when I knew for sure. And that’s when I texted you.”

You groan instantly, burying your face in your hands. “Oh my god. Please don’t bring up Southbound—”

She laughs, eyes gleaming. “You wrote a song about going southbound on someone, and then included that track—our track—like it accidentally fell into the folder during mixing.”

You peek through your fingers. “It fit the concept…”

“It absolutely did not. Your whole album is pop ballads and moody synths, and then suddenly we get this dark, throbbing, sex-drenched detour with breathy vocals and moaning layered under the chorus.”

“I edited it—”

“You didn’t,” she cuts in. “That pitch analysis on TikTok? Mortifying. You even left in the part where you gasped my name and laughed after.”

“I thought it sounded natural!”

“It sounded like porn, babe.”

You groan again, louder this time. “I hate everything.”

“No you don’t.” She moves in closer, her voice dropping, teasing. “You love that it went viral. You love that people know how you sound when you—”

“Ellie.”

She smirks. “—sing, obviously. What else would I mean?”

You glare at her through the haze of embarrassment, but your heart is thudding too hard for it to land. Because underneath the jokes, the heat, the teasing… you know what she’s saying. You know what she heard in those lyrics, in that bridge, in the vocal layering you obsessed over at 3am because it needed to feel exactly like her hands on your skin.

You wanted her to notice. You always did.

Ellie tilts her head, studying you like she’s still discovering you, even after all this time.

“You wrote about me,” she says quietly. “Again and again.”

You nod. “Every time I saw you, I wrote another verse.”

She doesn’t speak for a moment. Just brushes her thumb over the inside of your wrist, like she’s reading you in braille.

Then, softly: “God, we're pathetic”

“No,” you say. “We’re artists.”

She snorts. “That’s even worse.”

You laugh, but it’s shaky. “Yeah. But at least the music’s good.”

She pulls you closer, presses her forehead to yours. You close your eyes.

And then she kisses you.

Right there in the middle of the dance floor, while your song plays in the background like a confession you’ve already made. Her lips are soft, sure, and full of every verse you didn’t dare share until now. And when you finally pull back, she’s smiling in that slow, crooked way that means she’s already plotting something.

“I’m gonna write another one about you,” she says, breath warm against your cheek.

You smirk. “Make it the horny kind. Those go platinum.”

Ellie laughs, rough and gorgeous. “Fine. But the bridge is gonna be disgusting.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

Then she kisses you again—harder this time—and the lights flicker violet across her skin, and this time you don’t think about the people watching.

You just think about her hands on your waist, your voice in the speakers, and the sound of your own heartbeat finally, finally syncing with hers.

The night is a blur of neon lights and bad decisions, smeared like lipstick across the face of the city. It stretches out in front of you like a fever dream—loud, sweaty, glitter-soaked chaos that you somehow keep surviving. The four of you are well past tipsy, teetering on the edge of blackout like it’s a competitive sport, and you're definitely winning.

Ellie hasn’t let go of you all night. She’s glued to your side like she’s afraid someone’s going to walk off with you. Hands constantly touching—your hip, your thigh, the inside of your wrist. Brushing your collarbone like it’s a secret. And her eyes? Locked on you like she’s trying to memorize your face for later, just in case the tequila wipes everything else clean.

Jesse is conducting what he refers to as a "scientific study," stacking coasters on Dina’s head while she argues with the bartender about whether or not he looks like Pedro Pascal. It gets to six before she slaps them all off with a growl and tries to shove one directly into Jesse’s mouth.

“You’re so fucking ANNOYING,” she huffs, palm in his face, shoving him back into the booth.

Jesse just grins, pleased with himself. “You love me.”

“You’re on thin fucking ice.”

At some point, the club starts closing down around you. Lights go up, music down, and suddenly everything looks a lot more chaotic under full illumination. You're all blinking into the brightness like newborns.

And then—because you're either brave or just phenomenally stupid—someone suggests walking back to the hotel. Probably you.

So you do.

Jesse insists on leading the way like he's your drunk, wobbly tour guide. “To our left,” he slurs, gesturing at a dented trash can, “A beautiful relic of modern civilization. Observe its curves. Its majesty.”

“Shut up,” Dina wheezes, clutching your arm, nearly bent over in laughter. “My stomach hurts.”

Ellie snickers beside you, steady despite the way she keeps tugging you closer, like you’re the thing keeping her upright. “Jesse, if you fall into that thing, I’m leaving you there.”

“You’re such a bad friend,” Jesse grumbles, immediately tripping over the curb like it heard him talking shit.

You nearly faceplant too, but Ellie’s there before you even tilt forward, wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you close with a smirk. “Careful, rockstar.”

You lean into her, cheek against her shoulder, grinning. “M’not a rockstar.”

She tilts her head like she’s genuinely thinking it over. “Right. Just the biggest popstar on the planet.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you mutter, rolling your eyes—but you’re smiling like a fool.

By the time you crash through the hotel lobby doors, you’re a full-blown public safety hazard. Dina’s ping-ponging between furniture like a malfunctioning Roomba, pausing only to yell, “I’m fine!” every time she careens off a decorative pillar.

Jesse’s found a captive audience in the night desk clerk and is passionately explaining how, if he “just had the right mentor,” he could absolutely become a professional stuntman—like, today. He even does a high kick for emphasis, nearly pulling something in the process.

Meanwhile, Ellie has given up entirely on decorum. The you both step in the elevator, she pins you to the mirrored wall with all the subtlety of a horny teenager in a bad coming-of-age film. Her hands sliding under your dress with the kind of urgency that suggests she’s forgotten other people exist entirely.

“You,” she breathes, voice rough and drunk and worshipful, “are so fucking pretty.”

"And you," You let out a soft laugh, tipping your head back. “are so fucking drunk.”

Ellie grins, eyes half-lidded, pupils blown. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

You don’t even remember who kissed who—it’s just tequila and heat and breathless laughter, her lips tasting like whatever cocktail you last shared and her fingers curling into the fabric at your hips like she’ll die if she lets go.

Somewhere behind you, as the elevator doors start to close—

“DON’T FORGET TO HYDRATE AFTER ALL THE RAW, ANIMALISTIC SEX!” Jesse hollers, practically singing it like a PSA.

Dina nearly doubles over beside him, wheezing. “DESTROY HER, ELLIE! I WANNA HEAR THAT HEADBOARD FROM THE LOBBY!”

Ellie chokes on a laugh, flips them off with both hands this time, and buries her face in your neck. “I hate them,” she mutters, giggling uncontrollably. “I actually hate them.”

But her hands are sliding under your dress again.

“I think they’re rooting for us,” you breathe, grinning.

“Yeah, well…” she nips your jaw gently. “They’re not the ones about to get lucky.”

The elevator dings, and the two of you spill out into the hallway like a disaster in motion—tipsy, breathless, half-sober and wholly tangled. You’re giggling too hard to walk in a straight line, stumbling into the wall, then into Ellie, who nearly takes you both down with her.

“Key,” she mutters, smacking at the pockets of her leather jacket with the urgency of someone searching for buried treasure.

“You’re making this impossible,” she grumbles, squinting down at the card in her hand like it personally wronged her—because you’re behind her now, arms looped snug around her waist, lips brushing over the side of her neck in a slow tease.

“I believe in you,” you murmur solemnly, the kind of mock-serious declaration only achievable at this level of inebriation.

“That’s not helping!”

She finally gets the card to register on the third try—barely. The lock beeps with mercy, and Ellie stumbles into the room backwards, yanking you in with her by the lapels of your coat. You trip over each other’s feet in the dark, colliding into the bed in a clumsy sprawl of limbs and laughter.

You land in a heap—half on the mattress, half on each other—laughing so hard you can barely breathe, tangled up like it’s instinct, like the world has always ended this way: with Ellie’s arms around you, her face buried in your neck, and both of you drunk off more than just alcohol.

Ellie doesn’t bother sitting up—just pulls you down into her like gravity, lips already finding yours with a hunger that hits you like a wave. It’s messy and hot, teeth clashing, laughter spilling into breathless moans.

It tastes like tequila, your lip gloss and the kind of recklessness that only happens when you’re too far gone to pretend you’re not completely obsessed with each other.

The alcohol makes everything heavier—your limbs, your breath, the way her hands roam like they’ve been dying to for hours. She’s everywhere at once: sliding under your dress, up your back, into your hair.

“Fuck,” she mutters into your mouth, her voice low and rough. Her head tips back against the pillows, eyes flicking over you like she can’t believe you’re real. “Look at you.”

You laugh softly, pressing kisses to her neck, her jaw, the edge of her smile. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“I can’t,” she breathes, catching your face between her hands. “You’re drive me insane.”

You kiss her deeper this time—less playful, more desperate. You shift in her lap, your dress riding high on your thighs, and her hands slide up under the fabric like she owns you.

“Take this off,” she mutters, tugging clumsily at the hem.

“You first,” you whisper, tugging her shirt over her head. It sticks a little, and you both laugh trying to get it off, her hair a mess and her eyes glazed over with want. You reach for the zipper of your dress next, dragging it down slow, teasing.

Ellie groans when it slips off your shoulders, her gaze dark and locked on your chest like she’s never seen anything better. “Fuck me,” she says, almost reverent.

She pulls you close again and kisses down your throat, over your collarbone, her lips trailing fire in their wake. Then her mouth closes over your breast and you gasp, hips stuttering against her thigh, as she sucks—slow and filthy—teeth grazing just enough to make your breath hitch before her tongue soothes the mark.

But she doesn’t stop there.

Her mouth roams, leaving kiss after kiss, then deeper, darker sucks—her signature stamped into your skin. She bites, just hard enough to make you gasp, then kisses the spot better, her hands roaming freely over your body like she’s trying to memorize every inch. Hickeys bloom across your collarbones, your neck, the softest parts of your chest—every mark a reminder that she was there, that this happened.

One hand stays gripped tight on your ass, the other tangled in your hair, guiding you, holding you still like she doesn’t want to miss a second of watching you fall apart.

You curse under your breath, head falling back as her mouth drags lower again, her teeth grazing another spot just above your heart.

You gasp, clutching at her shoulders, her hair, anything you can reach. “Ellie—fuck, you’re gonna leave marks.”

“Good,” she growls against your skin. “Wanna see them tomorrow. Wanna know I did this.”

You grind down without meaning to, and she groans, mouth hot and possessive as it finds the other breast with the same hungry focus.

“You're so fucking hot,” she mumbles, lips brushing the edge of another bruise she just left. “I could do this all night.”

You're not even sure what you say in response—it's just a noise, half-whimper, half-laugh, your fingers threading through her hair, your body buzzing under every kiss, every bite, every mark she paints into your skin.

When she finally looks up at you again, her lips are wet, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes blown wide with nothing but want. “C'mere,” she says, voice wrecked.

Ellie shifts lower on the bed, settling between your thighs like she’s been there a hundred times and never got tired of it. Her palms press against the inside of your legs, coaxing them open with slow, steady pressure. She looks up at you from under her lashes—flushed, breathless, reverent.

Her voice is soft but rough with heat. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this.”

You can’t answer. Your throat’s too tight, your heart’s pounding too hard. All you can do is nod, your fingers curled in the sheets, already trembling with anticipation.

She kisses the inside of your thigh first. Then again, a little higher. And again. Her mouth trails up until she’s exhaling warm against you, her breath ghosting over where you’re aching for her most. You twitch, and she smiles.

“Relax,” she murmurs. “I’ve got you.”

And maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s her voice, but you melt into the mattress, pliant and aching, thighs trembling with anticipation.

When she finally leans in, her breath is warm against your skin, and you shudder. Then her tongue flicks out, just barely, a teasing stroke that makes your hips twitch. She hums at the reaction, hands tightening on your thighs.

She starts slow. Long, deliberate licks that make your head spin. Her tongue traces every inch of you like she’s mapping it to memory—each movement unhurried, deliberate. It’s not just about getting you off. It’s about making you feel every second of it.

It's the kind of touch that says I know you. The kind of touch that makes you feel known.

And then she does something that makes your breath catch completely.

You feel her tongue shift—patterned, careful—and realize she’s spelling something.

E. A slow upward curve, then back down and across.

L. Two smooth strokes, top to bottom, then across.

You gasp, hips bucking slightly, but she doesn’t let up. Doesn’t even flinch.

L. Slower this time, as if she’s enjoying the way your thighs tense around her shoulders, the way your hands fist in the sheets.

I. A single confident stroke. Clean. Sharp. Precise.

E. Again. A bit sloppier now, a little rushed, like even she’s getting impatient.

“Jesus,” you breathe, fingers threading into her hair like you’re trying to anchor yourself. “Did you just spell your fucking name?”

She pulls back for half a second—just enough to flash you a crooked grin, lips glistening, eyes dark. “Damn right I did.”

You let out a breathless laugh, somewhere between disbelief and arousal. “You’re such a showoff.”

“Yeah. Gotta make sure you remember it.”

You grip the sheets tighter. “Like I'll ever forget.”

Ellie just smirks and dives back in—deeper now, hungrier. She wraps her arms around your thighs and locks you in place like she has no intention of letting you go until you’ve completely unraveled.

Her mouth works you open with maddening precision—tongue circling, flicking, pressing in slow waves. She licks into you like she’s starving, like there’s nothing else in the world worth tasting. And when her lips wrap around you and she sucks, slow and deep, you swear you see stars.

You moan her name, not caring how loud it is. She groans in response, the vibration shooting through your whole body, making your back arch off the bed. You’re panting now, thighs trembling around her, heartbeat wild in your chest.

She hums again, smug and wrecked and totally in control. You feel her shift. One hand leaves your thigh and slides down, slow and steady. Her fingers trail through the mess she’s already made of you, slick and hot and ready.

Then one finger slips inside—deep, confident, curling just right.

You cry out, back arching, your whole body jolting with the shock of it. She doesn’t let up—her mouth still moving against you, tongue stroking in time with the rhythm of her fingers. It’s like she’s everywhere at once—her mouth, her hands, the weight of her body pinning you in place.

“Ellie,” you gasp, and it sounds wrecked, wild. “Fuck—”

“I’ve got you,” she says again, but this time it’s lower, darker, like a promise. “Let go, baby. Let me.”

She pushes in deeper, adds a second finger, the stretch making your eyes roll back. Her tongue never stops, her mouth working you with maddening, perfect precision. She moves slow and steady, curling her fingers just right, dragging them over that spot that makes your whole body lock up.

You’re shaking now, gasping, barely tethered to the world.

“You feel so fucking good,” Ellie breathes against you, voice reverent, ruined. “So wet f'me.”

She starts moving faster—mouth and fingers in perfect rhythm—sucking, licking, curling inside you like she knows exactly what you need before you can even ask for it.

The pressure builds and builds and then suddenly crests—hot, explosive, overwhelming. Your orgasm crashes through you like a wave, tearing the air from your lungs. You cry out her name, fingers clawing at her shoulders, your whole body locked in ecstasy.

She doesn’t stop right away—keeps helping you through it, slow and soothing now, like she’s savoring the way you fall apart for her. Like she’s proud of it. When she finally pulls back, her mouth is slick, her chin glistening as she cleans her fingers with her mouth, expression dazed and hungry and smug as hell.

She crawls back up over you and kisses your neck, your collarbone, your jaw.

You’re wrecked—body humming, chest rising and falling like you’ve run a marathon—but she still climbs up the bed like a woman on a mission, pulling you close, cradling your face in her hands like you’re the most precious thing she’s ever touched.

“Jesus Christ,” you breathe, voice hoarse, your fingers tangled in her hair. “You’re...”

Ellie kisses you—deep and slow, tongue sliding against yours, letting you taste yourself on her mouth.

“I know,” she says smugly when she pulls back, brushing her thumb over your cheekbone. “I’m incredible.”

You let out a weak, breathless laugh. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“And you’re so full of me.” She smirks, eyes gleaming with heat and mischief. “We’re both winning.”

You groan and drag her in for another kiss, already aching again and not even remotely ready for it to be over.

Ellie seems to feel the same way.

Because her hand’s already sliding back between your legs—gentler this time, just a soft, teasing brush of her fingers—and her voice drops to a whisper against your lips.

“Think you’ve got one more in you?”

You don’t even hesitate.

“For you?” You kiss her again, biting her lip just hard enough to make her growl. “Always.”

Ellie’s mouth is still hot on your skin when she pulls back, eyes burning as she looks down at you.

“Turn over,” she says, voice low and wrecked. Commanding.

You don’t hesitate. You roll onto your forearms and knees, heart pounding, skin flushed. The sheets are cool beneath you, but every inch of you feels overheated from the inside out.

You hear her moving behind you, the soft rustle of straps and leather and breath. When she runs a hand up your back—slow and firm—you arch instinctively, your body reacting before your mind can catch up.

Ellie moves with purpose—hands rough as they roam over your ass, up your back, into your hair. Then her hands are back, gripping your waist so tight it borders on bruising.

“Look at you,” she murmurs, more to herself than to you. “Fucking perfect like this.”

You try to turn your head to look at her, but her hand slides up and wraps around your throat—firm, commanding, never cruel. She doesn’t squeeze, just holds you there, grounding you, controlling the space between anticipation and impact.

Your breath catches, a broken little sound tearing from your throat.

"Fuck," she groans, and you feel her lean in, her mouth dragging hot and slow along the back of your neck. "You make me lose my mind."

She snaps her hips forward, and even though you were bracing for it, the stretch still punches a sound out of you—deep and surprised and wild. Her free hand spreads over your lower back, keeping you steady, keeping you hers.

“Atta girl,” she breathes, voice frayed and thick with want. “Take it.”

You do. You take every inch, the air knocked from your lungs with every sharp thrust. It’s rough, almost feral, but there’s something reverent behind it—like she’s worshiping you with every motion, even if her grip is bruising and her rhythm relentless.

Your hands claw at the sheets, legs trembling, moaning into the mattress with every snap of her hips.

Then her hand tightens at your throat, just slightly, and your world narrows to her body, her heat, her voice in your ear—low and filthy and full of awe.

“Been wanting you to be mine for so long,” she pants. “Thinking about it every time you smiled at me like I didn’t wreck you the night before. Every time you said it was fake.”

You whimper, the words hitting harder than anything else. Your whole body tenses, overwhelmed, your head falling forward.

Ellie leans down, lips dragging along your shoulder as she slows just enough to make you feel it. “But you’re mine now. You know that, right?”

You nod, the motion barely there, desperate and delirious. “Yes.”

She groans—guttural and raw—and slaps your ass hard enough to make you jolt.

“Say it.”

“I’m yours,” you cry out, wrecked and breathless. “I’m yours, Ellie.”

And then she thrusts deeper, slower, like the words wrecked her a little, like she’s not just fucking you now—she’s feeling you. Claiming you, not just with her body but with every part of her that’s ever been yours.

Her grip on your throat tightens just a little—not enough to scare, just enough to make you feel it. Her hips drive into you harder now, the bed rocking with the force of it, every thrust a sharp reminder of how much you want her, how much you need her.

The rhythm grows more frantic—sharp, breathless, urgent. Each thrust sends the headboard thudding against the wall in time with your gasps, a steady, relentless beat that fills the room along with the wet sound of skin against skin and the guttural way Ellie moans your name.

Your hands grip the sheets, the mattress, anything you can reach, but nothing grounds you like her. Nothing anchors you the way she does when one hand slips into your hair, tangling tight, and yanks you back with just enough force to make your breath catch.

She pulls you upright, flush against her chest, her mouth hot and open at your shoulder, your neck. The strap presses deeper inside you at the new angle, and your entire body shudders.

“Look at me,” she pants, voice ragged, forehead pressed to your temple. Her grip stays firm in your hair, holding you steady as her other hand slides possessively up your stomach, over your ribs, to cup your breast. “I want you to know exactly who’s fucking you.”

You can barely breathe, barely speak—but you nod, gasping as your body rocks against hers, every thrust dragging a helpless sound from your throat.

The headboard bangs louder now, the whole bed creaking beneath the force of it. But neither of you care. Ellie’s everywhere—her scent, her voice, the heat of her skin against your back, the way she’s buried so deep inside you it feels like she’s burned into your bones.

And even in all the chaos, the sweat and the noise and the wild, reckless pleasure of it, there’s something underneath it all—something tender. The way her lips find your shoulder in between every gasp. The way her voice breaks when she says your name like it’s the only word she knows.

Like loving you is the most dangerous, beautiful thing she’s ever done.

You’re falling apart—moaning, gasping, trying to stay upright as pleasure surges hot and overwhelming through your veins. Ellie’s cursing behind you, rhythm breaking, voice rough and wrecked and beautiful.

When it happens—when the second orgasm crashes over you like a wave—you scream her name, body convulsing, the force of it knocking the breath from your lungs. And she keeps going through it, fucking you through every aftershock, like she can’t bear to let the moment go.

Eventually, you both collapse—your body limp and trembling, hers heavy against your back, breath ragged against your shoulder.

For a while, it’s just the sound of your breathing, tangled limbs, sweat-slick skin.

Then she turns your face gently to hers and kisses you—slow and deep and tender, like a promise. Like a confession.

“I love you,” she whispers, quiet and raw.

And you don't hesitate.

Not even a second.

“I love you too.”

Ellie is dead asleep beside you, her body heavy with exhaustion, arm still draped over your waist like she fell asleep mid-claim. Her breath is slow and steady against your shoulder, hair a tousled mess over the pillow, lips parted just slightly. She looks peaceful—blissfully unaware of the storm still quietly buzzing beneath your skin.

You lie there in the dark, staring at the ceiling, blankets tangled around your legs, your heart still not entirely calmed. The room smells like sex and sweat and her perfume, and for a while, that’s enough to keep you in the moment. But the silence starts to stretch. And somewhere between the warmth of her skin and the cooling air on yours, your mind slips.

You think of the club. The lights. The music. The drinks. The way she kissed you like you were everything she has ever wanted. The way her hand had slid into yours. The way her eyes had sparkled when she made you laugh.

And then—brief and sharp like a static jolt—you remember the booth. That little baggie. That casual, practiced motion. A snort. A wipe of her nose. The way she’d looked at you right after—like it was nothing.

Because to her, it was nothing.

You swallow hard and turn onto your side, facing away from her. The sheets feel too heavy suddenly, like they’re pressing into your chest. But you force your breath to slow, your eyes to close. You remind yourself that she’s here, asleep next to you. That tonight was good. That everything feels okay right now.

It’s not a big deal.

Just a moment. Just something that happened.

You tell yourself again, and again, and again, until the lie starts to sound almost true.

And eventually—maybe out of exhaustion, maybe out of denial—you let yourself drift off, wrapped in the illusion of safety, in the warmth of her body curled unconsciously into yours.

Because loving her feels so easy.

And forgetting?

Even easier.

← 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒 | 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 | 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 → taglist (tysm for supporting, hope you enjoy <333): @st0nerlesb0 @willurms @vahnilla @mancyw1214 @rxreaqia @laceyxrenee @antobooh @annoyingpersonxoxo @haithone @lofied @sunflowerwinds @xojunebugxo @reidairie @piscesthepoet @elliewilliamskisser2000 @pariiissssssss @mxquelo @elliesbabygirl @xx2849 @kiiramiz @mikellie @brooks-lin @lovely-wisteria @marscardigan @elliesanqel @lovelaymedown @gold-dustwomxn @ilovewomenfr @seraphicsentences @mascspleasegetmepregnant @raindroprose23 @creepyswag  @jujueilish @elliesgffrfr @kirammanss @liztreez @catrapplesauces @livvietalks @furtherrawayy @thatchosen1 @kanadadryer @littlerosiesthings @eriiwaiii2 @firefly-ace @redlightellie @elliepoems @sabrinathewitchh982 @shady-lemur @jubileexoxo @l0velylace @look-me @adoringanakin @daughterofthemoons-stuff @st4r-b3rries @liasxeatt @desiretolive @rios-st4rs @miajooz @hotpinkskitties

࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ I did like 30 proofreads, but there might still be a few grammar mistakes here and there—sorry in advance, english isn't my first language and I will be happy to receive constructive criticism!.

Please leave a comment if you’re interested in being on the permanent taglist for this series!

see ya'll soon, stay tuned ;)

[cicidarkarts]

💗 Ask Game Masterlist 💗

Want to ask me a question about my selfships but don't know where to start? Here's a masterlist of asks that I've accrued from other blogs to help! I also mark off the ones I've already answered so you can more easily ask unique questions (as well as links to said Ask so you can read them if you'd like)!

You can see my list of f/os on my Pinned Post, currently absolutely obsessed with Matthew Patel but you can ask about anyone on my Main and Secondary lists!

It's preferable you copy-paste the entire question into the Ask to avoid confusion, thank you!

I do ask for ask, so I'll be sure to ask you questions about your f/o as well! 🖤🖤

List of Asks below the Read More

💝 - what has your f/o given you in the past for valentine's day? if this is your first valentine's day, have they given you anything yet? what do you think they'll give you this year?

💌 - does your f/o write you love letters? are they more of a cheesey Walmart card kinda person? or do they not like to do either?

💐 - has your f/o ever given you a bouquet? what flowers do they include?

🌈 - how was your very first valentine's day with your f/o? if you haven't celebrated yet, how do you think it's going to go?

🍒 - are you and your f/o the type to do sickly sweet romantic things on dates and valentine's day? what kind of things do you do together? Answers: Matthew

🧁 - is your f/o the type to give you sweets? what do they get you? what do you get them? or do you bake together instead of gifting each other sweets?

🏩 - where would you like to go this valentine's day? what does your f/o have planned? what do you have planned?

🎀 - what gifts are you planning on getting your f/o? do you have any fun surprises planned?

✨ - do you and your f/o have any matching jewelry? what is it?

🌹 - how do you and your f/o feel about valentine's day traditions? going out on dates, getting chocolates and bouquets, or are you more untraditional?

🦢 - do you and your f/o have any cheesey nicknames for each other? what are they?

💄 - how does your f/o dress up for dates? what's an outfit you think they would look nice in you'd like to see them wear on valentine's day?

(credit to @deathdetermineslife) 💙 - how do you sleep together(actual sleeping! Not ns*w)? Answers: Idrees

💓 - weird habits that you guys love about each other?

💜 - how do they/you act when jealous? How easily do they/you get jealous? Answers: Idrees

💞 - have any children? (if so tell about them!) if not, plan of having any? How many? Answers: Matthew

🤭 - how often do you give each other presents? What presents do you give?

💘 - PDA, yes or no? How much and how "severe"(for lack of a better word)?

💗 - perfect date? Answers: Idrees

💖 - funniest moment?

🖤 - how do y'all act once back together after being apart for a while? Answers: Idrees

💚 - most emotional moment together?

❤️ - do you steal their clothes? If so, what is their reaction? Answers: Idrees

💕 - your first time meeting their family and their first time meeting your family!

(credit to @fo-love) 🪕 - What would you consider YOU and your f/os song? Like, this is y'alls definitive song together!

❣️ - Are there any songs that make you think of your f/o on their own? Unrelated to your ship? What about it sounds like them?

💮 - What genre of music do you think they would listen to? Do they have a canon favorite?

🎻 - Does your f/o have their own song? This can be a song they sing, a song related to them, or even fan songs!

🎸 - What are some cute songs that make you think of them? Why?

❤️‍🩹 - What are some sad songs that make you think of them? Why?

💛 - Would they like your taste in music?

🔊 - Do you have a playlist for them? How big is it?

🤍 - Free space! Talk about any song you want! In-progress: Matthew

🌺 - Do you have a certain type of music that makes you think of your ships?

💟 - Do you have any songs based on how they personally affected you, rather than just your ship? Which and why?

🎙️ - What song would your f/o sing to you, even if it's begrudgingly?

(credit to @jpeg-indulgence)

🎉 - have they ever made a big, grand gesture for you? say, throw a surprise party, or go on an impromptu vacation?

😊 - what's the nicest compliment they've ever given you? what's the nicest compliment you've ever given them?

🌟 - have you ever stargazed with them before? if they're interested in it, where would you two like to go to see them?

🌲 - whats your f/o's ideal date spot to take you to? what's your ideal date spot to take them?

🦑 - would you two ever go on an aquarium date together? who's idea was it, and which fish is their/your favorite to look at? Answers: Idrees

🥪 - picnic time! what do you guys bring? do you pick them out together, or pick them out separately and surprise each other?

📿 - you two go pick out matching lockets to keep a picture/piece of hair/memento of the other in! what do they look like? what picture of theirs do you keep?

🥧 - you bake something together! what do you bake? how does it turn out? is it the best thing you've ever tasted? or does it suck ass?

🎃 - have you guys ever carved pumpkins together? do you visit a pumpkin patch, or buy one from the store? or maybe you grew it? what would your pumpkins look like?

🎄 - if you celebrate Christmas, what does your tree look like? what kinds of decorations would your f/o prefer? do you decorate it together, or does just one of you do the decorating?

🍝 - you guys go to a nice fancy restaurant together! what does your f/o order? what do you order? do you guys order a dessert? perhaps, to share? Answers: Idrees

🎊 - you guys attend a party together! perhaps it's formal, maybe a ball? perhaps a masquerade? what are you wearing? do you/your f/o enjoy it?

🧸 - it's valentine's day! what stereotypical valentine's day gift does your f/o give you? a box of chocolates, perhaps a stuffed animal?

📺 - what movies do you guys like watching together? is there any specific movie that comes to mind?

(credit to @deathdetermineslife) 😢 - how would your f/o try to comfort you if you were upset? 💔 - what's a petty argument you'd have with your f/o?

💋 - what was your first kiss with your f/o like, if you've had it?

🐺 - describe your f/os perception of you before you got together, compared to what it is now! 🐶 - if the roles were reversed and your f/o was the one selfshipping with you, what would their blog look like? Answers: Matthew

🧊 - how would your f/o text you? would they use proper punctuation/capitalization, or type more informally?

🍋‍🟩 - similarly, what would your contact names be for each other?

💍 - how do you and your f/o feel about marriage? Answers: (technically) Idrees

☕ - what's your f/o's coffee or drink order?

☁️ - how does your f/o like to spend their free time with you? 🛍️ - what would your f/o get you as a gift? additionally, what would you get for them?

🥰 - what’s your favorite way to feel closer to your f/o?

(credit to @dreamwinged)

⏰: If you had to very publicly profess your love for (S/I), how would you do it?

🆘: How do you let (S/I) know that they’re on your mind when you’re someplace crowded?

🛏️: What does your bed look like? Is it just you and (S/I)? Are there stuffed animals? How many blankets and pillows do you have? Do you prefer the bed to be hot or cold?

👾: What are your favorite things to do with (S/I)? Who’s better at them?

🎭: Are you or (S/I) artsy at all? Do you ever hand-make things for each other?

👕: What color do you think looks the best on (S/I)?

👞: Does (S/I) have an outfit that you think they look most attractive in? If so, what outfit is it?

🌾: Name five of your favorite things about (S/I). (Feel free to be as descriptive as you want!)

🚮: How do you deal with someone bothering (S/I)?

🌻: If you saw this thing in the store, you would instantly buy it for (S/I)! What is the thing?

🦋: What’s the most special moment that you and (S/I) have ever shared?

(credit to @selfshipaskgames)

🤝: How did you meet in the first place? What was your first impression of each other?

🌠: Who ended up falling first? Which of you actually realized that they’d fallen in love first?

🦀: How did they handle realizing they were in love? Embarrassed? Nervous? Mad?

🤫: Who stumbled the most with their feelings around the other? How much did the other person notice?

🦅: How good are their friends at being wingmen? Do they even help at all or just sit back watching the pining with a bag of popcorn?

😘: Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

🤐: How long did it take them to get out of the awkward early relationship stage? Have you gotten more confident around each other?

❤️‍🔥: Who tends to take the lead with showing affection?

⚡: Do they have any previous relationship experience from past partners? How does it reflect on how they handle their current one?

🐱: Do they have pet names for each other, if so what are they? How does their partner feel about their pet name?

🌙: Who has to force the other into having healthy sleeping habits? How well does that go for em?

🗣️: Who’s the one that will ramble on about their highly specific interest while the other just sits back and nods along?

🐕: Do they have any pets together?

✏️: How canon compliant are you with them? Do you stick pretty close or just have fun cause it’s your ship so no one can tell you what to do other wise?

💧: How well do you comfort each other?

👁️: What exactly do you want with your future together? Is that something they think of often or do they just stay in the moment?

🕊️: Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things you like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

(credit to @zibiscusloon)

🍰 = what are you and your f/o's stances on parties?

🥐 = what foods do you associate with your f/o, or vice/versa?

🐾 = if your f/o was an animal, what would they be?

🧟 = if your f/o was a zombie suddenly, what would you do?

🪔 = what's your f/o's favorite holiday? Answers: Idrees

🥺 = does begging for attention work with your f/o?

📸 = favorite picture/gif of your f/o?

♣️ = if you had to describe your relationship with your f/o as a homestuck quadrant, which would it be?

📆 = do you and your f/o have an anniversary? if so, what is it?

(credit to @tychos-huzband)

🧠 ~ What sort of things do you like to imagine yourself doing with your f/o? Both in your mind & this world (if you do the latter too!)

✈️ ~ You & your f/o get to go on holiday to anywhere in the word! Where would you choose to go?

🐭 ~ What is your f/o’s favourite animal?

💋 ~ How does your f/o respond to being kissed & doted on?

🥵 ~ What is your favourite physical feature of your f/o & why?

💫 ~ What would you consider your relationship with your f/o to be? What does it mean to you?

(credit to @fictodreamer)

🐢 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite? Answer: Idrees

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why? Answer: Idrees

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why? Answer: Idrees

🐈‍⬛ - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🔥 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

✒️ - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🍲 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not necessarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

⚱️ - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

🍠 - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? Answer: Idrees (credit to @deathdetermineslife)

1 - Does your f/o like kissing at all? Or is it something they don't care for?

2 - Do they like to give any sort of kisses in public?

3 - Do they have a favorite place (on you) to kiss you?

4 - Does your f/o have a favorite place (on them) for you to kiss them?

5 - What are forehead kisses like from them?

6 - What are cheek kisses from them like? 

7 - What are hand kisses from them like? Answers: Idrees

8 - Do you and your f/o ever kiss on the lips? If so, how would you describe it?

9 - When was your first kiss with your f/o? (If you have something laid out!)

10 - What does a kiss when your f/o is busy look like? In-progress for: Matthew

11 - What does a kiss goodbye look like?

12 - What does a good morning kiss look like? 

13 - What does a thank you kiss look like? 

14 - What does an excited kiss look like? 

15 - When is your f/o's favorite time to give you a kiss?

16 - When is their favorite time to receive a kiss from you? 

17 - Free space! Give us a setting where the two of you might kiss, details optional.

(credit to @brutally-loving)

F/O Gush Pass Asks

🎤 Gush about your f/o’s skills

👒 Gush about your f/o’s fashion In progress: Matthew

🧆 Gush about your f/o’s cooking In progress: Matthew

🧉 Gush about your f/o’s drink order

🎁 Gush about a gift from your f/o

✍🏾 Gush about your relationship with your f/o

🏠 Gush about home life with your f/o In-progress: Matthew

👀 Gush about your f/o’s face In-progress: Matthew

💏 Gush about kissing your f/o

🐰 Gush about what animal represents your f/o In-progress: Matthew

🎆 Gush about dates with your f/o

📞 Gush about phone calls from your f/o

🦇 Gush about why you were drawn to your f/o In progress: Matthew

🐼 Gush about the comfort your f/o brings you

🚩 Gush about your f/o’s red flags

🏖️ Gush about a trip with your f/o

🎼 Gush about a song that reminds you of f/o In progress: Matthew

🍏 Gush about doing chores with your f/o (credit to @yumepuppy)

I always always ALWAYS reblog ask games as well and tag them under #ask game, but wanted to have a comprehensive list.

[jennyfromthebes]

hi!! i know you've posted some favorite liveshows before but as someone who gets easily overwhelmed choosing shows off the Archive i'd love to hear some more of your fave shows to listen to!

Hi!! Here's a handful of recs, but if you want a more specific vibe feel free to send another ask and I can definitely give more :)

2023-07-13 (Four-piece band configuration) is maybe my all-time favorite for sentimental reasons, since that was my first tMG concert ever. Primarily Bleed Out and The Sunset Tree, with a banger solo set of Jam Eater Blues/Commandante/From TG&Y/The Monkey Song. Crowd energy is really high and there's some delightful banter and interactions!

2017-11-11 (Four-piece band configuration) is a slightly older but still fairly recent one. Since they were touring Goths at the time, it's a pretty Goths-heavy setlist, with my all-time favorite rendition of Shelved, also featuring a really cool solo Night Light and a gorgeous full band rendition of Snow Crush Killing Song!

2021-08-06 (Five-piece band, with fifth goat Erin McKeown) is notable for being the first show back after a year and a half of lockdown, and the energy is palpable. Live debut of a lot of Getting Into Knives, featuring an unreleased song and one from the first tape, and overall really fantastic and high-energy from both the band and the audience. This show is the one I reach for when I've had a bad day.

2009-06-13 (John solo) was the first of two shows back-to-back at Zoop, and while I shy away from describing any shows as "definitive", the Zoop shows are big in the same way Bottom Of The Hill shows are big. This one features a really great range of older and more obscure songs, and if you like this one, there's another show directly following it!

2014-06-15 (John + Peter duo), speaking of Bottom Of The Hill, this is a favorite BotH show! They play the entirety of Taboo VI: The Homecoming, and to this day I've still never listened to the actual Taboo VI tape, just this performance. It's the third of three consecutive shows at BotH, and all three are worth a listen for sure, but this one is my go-to recommendation.

2024-03-01 (John solo) is probably one you've seen me recommend before. This solo show from earlier this year was at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, and the atmosphere of it is haunting and gorgeous. The acoustics of the cathedral make a lot of these songs just immensely powerful - there's something about this Hast Thou Considered The Tetrapod that makes me cry pretty much every time I listen to it.

Additionally, no talk of live tape recs is complete without shouting out Emerald's live comps! You might know Emerald as The Sticker Lady, or if you've spent a few hours in queue with her, just an absolute delight of a human being and one of my favorite people in this community - she's seen tMG probably a hundred times, and each of her themed compilations are lovingly made with great skill and artistry.

(ETA: also worth including here, What's the Live Music Archive?)

Hopefully this is a decent enough rec list! I tried to keep a decent assortment of shows without being too overwhelming with options, but again, please feel free to drop another ask if you want more specific recs or anything. Happy listening!!

[heavy-metal-lover-girl]

🦇 the matthew patel playlist: a song-by-song breakdown

youtube music version (i usually use youtube instead of spotify)

hello matthew patel nation. how we feelin. since i'm incapable of liking this man normally, i made an in-depth playlist for him!

i've had a great time making playlists using the character playlist challenge by elijah menchaca. my choices follow the list and three rules included in the challenge: 1) one song per artist only, 2) one song per aspect/trait/relationship, and 3) eight songs minimum. i highly recommend it if you want to make in-depth and polished playlists for your favorite characters and ocs while also avoiding anything cliche.

my infodump/breakdown on this playlist (plus a Bonus playlist) can be found below the cut!

this playlist has a mix of songs that could be considered period accurate (pre-early/mid 2000s) and songs that aren't. but also we're talking about the scott pilgrim franchise so it's really not that serious.

my goal was to make a playlist that both fit his character/backstory and what i think he'd listen to, and i think i succeeded. all of my choices are based on a combo of each main depiction of matthew - in the comics, movie, and anime. this tracklist can apply to each one. this tracklist is also a combination of songs i've seen in other matthew playlists + songs i've picked out myself.

here are my choices for matthew's playlist + my reasoning:

1. their theme song: matthew patel by anamanaguchi and joseph trapanese

it's his theme song from spto! pretty self-explanatory. i love his silly lil leitmotif <3

2. how they view themselves: the ripper by the used

time takes us all so why am i not just living for today? time takes us time takes us all will i die right now? i'm only seconds away time takes us

this is one of the first songs in this playlist that has abstract lyrics. sure, matthew is not an actual mass murderer, but it's clear that he views himself in a similar edgy light. that's the kind of image he wants to portray. plus, i think the decisions he makes in canon have a reckless attitude of "fuck this, i have nothing to lose." that's what this track sounds like.

3. how they view the rest of the world: toxicity by system of a down

you, what do you own the world? how do you own disorder, disorder? now, somewhere between the sacred silence, sacred silence and sleep somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep disorder, disorder, disorder

here's another track with abstract lyrics. the lyrics of toxicity are cryptic to the point where there are probably a ton of different interpretations of what they could mean. in matthew's case, he would agree with the song's general critique of modern society, even if he might not 100% understand what's going on (both with the song and the world in general). with everything he's gone through, he's definitely wondered how he could own disorder.

4. a song about their relationship with another character: black bubblegum by the dillinger escape plan

i had gotten frozen by the way you walk by the love that you gave, by that look on your face it's a cover-up i know everything, i know everything you're made for four-letter fame regret is part of your name it's something you couldn't tell it's what you wanted to feel it's what you're dying to feel

the sound of this track fits matthew to a t, especially with greg puciato's vocal delivery. dillinger esc plan's lyrics have a similar cryptic quality to them, but the lyrics to black bubblegum are clearer compared to their other tracks. they fit matthew's relationship with and disillusion/disdain towards ramona. plus, there's the underlying yearning and obsession if you squint. it's really fun imagining matthew loving this track and getting jumpscared when he looks into the rest of dillinger's catalogue. <3

5. a song about what they want: give 'em hell, kid by my chemical romance

if you were here, i'd never have a fear so go on, live your life but i miss you more than i did yesterday (you're beautiful!)

come on. i HAD to put an mcr track in this playlist. i think matthew would connect with the three cheers era the most. the edgy hopeless romantic in him definitely self-projects onto the story of the demolition lovers. i'm saying this bc i've done that too as a big mcr fan. in general, give 'em hell, kid describes how he yearns for a life larger than what he has with someone that he loves, whether that's ramona or someone else. (matthew self-shippers unite!!)

6. a song about what’s important to them: funky galileo by sure sure

and i've been feeling so pent up like an ocean in a bathtub nobody seems to understand they're calling me an evil man when all i wanna do is dance

compared to the other songs in this playlist, this feels a little more unorthodox. but i have my reasons for it. this track has an awkward funk to it, and i mean that in a good way. yes, the song is literally about galileo and is written in his perspective, but matthew definitely has the same attitude as the lyrics. sure sure describes the first verse in this way: "everybody is giving him shit for his ideas, but he figures he’ll simply keep grooving in isolation til he dies." behind all the goofy shit that matthew does, there's a desire to prove everyone wrong and keep going.

7. a song about what they hate: glass: half-empty by hail the sun

fuck this anyway do i have to learn to live craving more than i'm given? fuck it all anyway i will never be appeased i don't know what's wrong with me i will never be appeased

if hail the sun existed in 2004, matthew would love them. i think he would view their combination of math rock and emo as mindblowing. in canon, we don't get an in-depth view of his insecurities, but i think they sound exactly like this track.

8. their Ass-Kicking Song™: bollywood by anamanaguchi

another one of his canon theme songs, this time from the sp video game.

9. a song about an event in their life: von dutch by charli xcx

it's so obvious i'm your number one i'm your number one, i'm your number one i'm your number one, yeah, it's so obvious i'm your number one, i'm your number one i'm your number one, yeah, it's so obvious

look!! it's right there!! he's literally number one! von dutch gives me the same vibes as his boost in confidence after taking gideon's place in the anime, but it could also apply to his confidence in general. matthew switches between dwelling on his shortcomings and feeling like the hottest shit in the world like whiplash.

also, the people have spoken. he would listen to it. idk i just think he would love charli. real recognizes real.

10. their “origins” song: down, set, go by underoath

i'm a half-wit boy cracking a smile and wearing it all on my sleeve so cool and so poised it's true, i'm just around to see where this thing goes, i'll never know but all i know is packing bags is a remedy, is a remedy

system of a down and underoath are probably the heaviest bands that matthew has ever listened to. he hasn't gone into the deep end yet, so this is the most that he could take. the lyrics align with the naivete and angst he experienced when he dated ramona and got dumped, especially with the callout at the end repeating, "you're not here with me! you're not here with me!"

he took it pretty badly.

11. their end credits song: out in the twilight by tally hall

stone & glass, everything balancing every saint has a sin won't it last? resident present i don't even want to ask all the light is low where the time will go all i know is that i can see anything out in the twilight

according to bryan lee o'malley, none of the evil exes died. after getting defeated by scott, they each respawn back at their homes and "(learn) their lesson." we never see what this looks like. the closest thing we get to that is seeing what becomes of them in spto, and even then, that's a completely different timeline of events. either way, whether we're talking about comic/movie matthew or series matthew, he puts his past behind in some way or another. scott pilgrim has different portrayals of the gray area between what is good and evil, since no character is a saint. out in the twilight speaks to this theme while also talking about the importance of acknowledging the past and letting it go. in comparison to the other characters, matthew did not commit the worst sins at all. he has the ability to redeem himself from the immature decisions he made and learn from them. i think that no matter what iteration of the story we're talking about, matthew can get over ramona and move on with his life. we saw him do exactly that in spto.

also i just know that matthew loves tally hall. it's peak theater kid music to me.

p.s. there are a lot of tracks that were contenders for his character playlist that didn't make the cut. i've also just found a lot of songs that i think he would listen to in general. the playlist below is where i've dumped them. suggestions are welcome! send them to me

youtube music version

to anyone who got this far: thank u so much for listening to my rambling about this goober!! i appreciate it and i hope u did too 🎉

[yarrystyleeza]

𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝟐𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫!

Well, as the title suggests, I am turning 22 on January 30th (yes I can't believe it either), and it's a very very special number to me, I was obsessed with it since I was a kid—because of Taylor Swift's 22 of course (you have no idea how happy my inner child is now!).

However, I thought I should celebrate this very important event with you by hosting my second sleepover! (honestly I was planning to make this a double sleepover if I hit 300 followers before my birthday, but since I didn't, I really had to host a sleepover)

As usual, my sleepover will host games, questions, asks, and definitely, requests!!! <3

The sleepover will be a week long, from January 30th till February 6th, where you can submit asks and requests!

Note on prohibited things that I won't be doing or answering:

No nsfw/dirty asks, writing requests or questions, it's uncomfortable for me sometimes, and this is an all-ages-friendly celebration. No further elaboration, please respect this. <3

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬:

Here's a list of the games we can play:

Kiss/Marry/Kill: you give me three characters and I will sort each one in one of these categories! (make it hard for me)

Would you rather: you give me two things/characters and I get to choose one that suits me better! (for example: night owl or early bird?)

Make an assumption: you literally make an assumption about me and I either prove it or deny it!

Never have I ever: you ask me about things I did or didn't do!

Exchanged Ships: basically, you give me a character that you find as my significant other, and I will give you a character in exchange and why I think it's the perfect character for you!

Random Q&A: you can ask me about anything, whether it's my favorite food or even what fabrics do I prefer to wear, ask whatever you want!

Girly Talks: just talk to me about any girly topic you want and we'll establish a good conversation! Let's talk about books or authors, favorite poetry pieces, maybe movies we loved in our childhood, or even your favorite outfits back when you were a 10 year old! Literally anything!

Rate My Music Taste: give me a song/artist and I will rate it from 1 (absolute flop) to 10 (total banger)! — (this is absolutely done just for fun).

I Wanna Write You A Song: start with a phrase and we will make a totally original song together in the reblogs!

Doodles: give me something simple to draw!

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬:

As for writing requests, I will be taking fluff/angst/violence (blood and gore—due to the nature of the characters I write for) x female!reader requests only. But of course you can request the prompt you desire. <3

As for the characters, here's a list of the fictional men that I would be writing for:

Matt Murdock/Daredevil

Foggy Nelson

Tristan Thorn

Michael Kinsella

Henry (from Eat Locals)

Daryl Dixon

(might consider writing for other Charlie Cox/Norman Reedus characters. example: Ian Hamilton, Owen Sleater, Scud, Murphy MacManus, etc.)

You can ask for prompt included in this list or ones you come up with yourself:

intimate moments / gestures that make me feel love / romantic rainy day prompts / gentle things that make me fall harder in love / fluffy comforting/sick dialogue prompts / lighthearted first kiss prompts / sparring prompts / forced proximity prompts / date prompts masterpost /

Note that I will be tagging the fic requests with #yuna's 22 birthday sleepover so they're easy to find, but they will be sorted in my main masterlist as regular requests! <3

tagging my moots to spread the word sorry for being a little too annoying hehe (and I tried to tag as much as possible but my memory is messing around with me I'm sorry if I forgot anyone): @v4leoftears @remonemo @fizanotfeeza @bunmurdock @bellaxgiornata @kal-0n @1988-fiend @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @floral-charlie-cat @farfromstrange @babygirlmurdock @mattmurdocksscars @itwasthereaminuteago @c-mrdck @xxeycisxx @loveroftoomanyfandoms @mindidjarin @little-miss-dilf-lover @shiorimakibawrites @tongueofcat @marytheweefrenchie @chvoswxtch @devilsmurdock @galaxies-and-moons-and-cox @acharliecoxedfan @folkloreandfall @murdocklorian @munsonownsmyass @abbyhaslongshorts @murc0ck @lazyxsquirrel @theradioactivespidergwen @xxdrixx @saintmurd0ck @softasawhisper @she-likesorchids @peterman-spideyparker @mattmurdocksstarlight @amberlynnmurdock @courtforshort15 @saltedlays @importantnightwerewolf @lene-loki

That's basically everything I have for my birthday sleepover, feel free to submit requests and games! Thank you for coming to my sleepover tonight! <3

[canonicallyanxious]

Rules: List 15 bands/artists and name just (1) song of theirs that you love.

Thanks for the tag @thisfeebleheart! Full disclosure i went completely fucking extra about this, as far as i know you just have to do a list but of course i had to make a playlist [with the exception of my pick for sufjan stevens, which is not available on spotify]

Listed in alphabetical order of artist:

Bruises - Angel Haze

BLEACH - BROCKHAMPTON

Tokyo Drifting (ft. Denzel Curry) - Glass Animals

I Like That - Janelle Monae

Posing for Cars - Japanese Breakfast

Kody Blu 31 - JID

i - Kendrick Lamar

Selfish (ft. Cleo Sol) - Little Simz

I'm Your Man - Mitski

IPlayYouListen - ODESZA

Majesty Snowbird - Sufjan Stevens

Harvest Love - Tash Sultana

Fried for the Night (ft. EARTHGANG) - TOKiMONSTA

This Is The Life - Two Door Cinema Club

Bros - Wolf Alice

Tagging: @parkshuppy @boxesfullofthoughts @ljuerlav @metronn @pronouncingitwang @tristealven @mumruffin and whoever else wants to torture themselves

Process + ramblings under the cut - told you i went full extra about it [also Remy told me to include it so there you go lol]

This is a pretty open-ended prompt but i decided to approach it as straightforwardly as possible - 15 of my favorite artists, and as close as i could come to a favorite song pick for each. This process actually took me several days lol i had to use a spreadsheet to organize my thoughts and everything [didn't really do anything special with it though as far as formulas or whatever, i basically just used it as a way to easily visualize my working list]

[fun fact: my original artist long list actually wasn't too long, i got up to 21 before i started making cuts - will say i probably could have added more but at that point i had already spent 30 mins on this and i was like okay i have got to nip it in the bud so i can get to the actual songs skdjfnsd]

You'll see in my above screenshot I had narrowed it down to about 2-4 for my last handful of artists but i did have to narrow it down from a longlist for most of those last few, which i did by tossing them all into my queue and skimming through each song:

Then i gave it a day so i could come back to it with fresh ears, and the next evening I sat down to fully listen through my shortlists and come to a decision for each artist [Sufjan took me the longest, surprise surprise]

i did kind of consider full list composition when making my choices - not, like, too much, like my favorites are my favorites, but if i was having trouble deciding between songs for an artist and i needed a tie breaker one of the factors i took into account was if there was already a song on my list that hit a similar mood/niche; also i did want to make sure i had a decent spread of my fave genres represented [so basically a mix of indie rock/pop, hip hop, edm, contemp rnb, and sadboi tunes]. Personal memories/significance also a factor for tiebreakers. otherwise i guess my main criteria was Vibes

obviously the thing about this exercise is if i had done this at a different time i probably could have ended up with a completely different list but i think that's the fun of it, capturing your mood at a specific point in time. happy with where i landed!

A few more notes on some of the picks [i was really considering doing a breakdown of every song but that's too much even for me skdjfskdfs]

Tokyo Drifting by Glass Animals - this is one of the tiebreakers I decided on to balance out my list of sadboi tunes. i think it is an immaculate banger from start to finish - incredible sampling, INCREDIBLE feature from Denzel [this song is actually what put me on Denzel, also an artist i really like in his own right], incredible hooks [WAVEY DAVEY I'M ON FIRE!], incredible attitude and production, just everything about it is perfect. When I saw Glass Animals live in 2021 the bass drop they did when performing this song shook every molecule in my body from head to toe and i've never been the same since

Kody Blu 31 by JID - back in 2022 when I was making my top 2022 albums/songs lists, I had actually originally gone with Dance Now off of Forever Story because I was limiting myself to one song per artist and Kody Blu 31 was the painful cut I decided to make from that top 10 list. this was at least part of the reason why i went with Kody Blu 31 this time LOL also Dance Now is a complete banger, Kody Blu 31 is what you listen to when you want to feel sad about past hardships and losses but ultimately hopeful about the state of the world - the kind of song that inspires you to persevere - which is, you know, a vibe i could really use right now [fwiw i do stand by Forever Story as one of the best albums of 2022 and honestly one of the best albums of the decade so far; now that I've had more time with it, it's an easy 10/10 from me]

i by Kendrick Lamar - i am a little ashamed to admit that i only just listened to To Pimp a Butterfly in full recently [like within the last month; was only familiar with the singles before] but you know what better late than never. easily one of the most perfect albums I've ever listened to. honestly there are so many kendrick songs that could go on this list - it's not my fault that man puts out nothing but bangers! he really has the range! - but i keep coming back to this one because of the tone of painfully hard-earned celebration in the first half - the anthemic "I love myself" vocals! the virtuosic rhymes! the infectious melody lines in the production! it's bursting with confidence and joy in a way that doesn't feel cheap or cheesy - juxtaposed with the monologue that comes in after the music cuts out [the background crowd vocals slowly fading out... Kendrick's delivery so raw and powerful you hang onto every word... i never skip over it when listening to this song, i can't]. So impactful, so relevant even today, SO well done in that switch up - again it's the kind of song i need these days

Majesty Snowbird by Sufjan Stevens - I actually considered cutting this from contention because technically it's not an official song - i have only ever listened to it via bootleg concert recording uploaded along with a truly goofy picture of him by some rando on youtube - but after listening to it in its entirety twice [it's a ten minute song, just ftr] i decided it had to count. i almost hope it never gets an official recording, like there is something inimitable about this live recording that IS the song to me - the random "WOO" at the very start [juxtaposed with how completely quiet the audience stays through the song up until the end when they erupt into applause; you get the sense every single person there was holding their breath], the scratchiness of the electric guitar, the goosebumps you can only get from listening to a live orchestra - not even to mention the power of sharing music for the sheer love of it, whether that be participating in the communal experience of listening to this song live along with hundreds of other people in the same space as you or passing on the bootleg recording so strangers on the internet can listen to it too. and it's an incredible fucking song on top of all that. Chicago and Futile Devices were probably the most difficult cuts I had to make from my top 15 list but i don't have any regrets for cutting them for this.

This Is The Life by Two Door Cinema Club - my irl best friend and i consider this the theme song of our friendship. we've been friends since freshman year of high school, have listened to and loved the album this song comes from since almost that long, have danced and cried and screamed to this particular song so many times. it represents so many memories and times of my life. it's been with me for a long time. this honestly was the easiest choice of the whole list for me

[dead-girl-prolific]

Writing Projects + Project Updates

So, I'm back from hiatus, as previously stated in this post. and I want to create again, but one of my biggest barriers is... I can barely write relationship adjacent work. I struggle with writing anything involving a relationship (friends, romance, familial, etc) it's mainly just awkward for me, I can write pretty much anything else though, I think this year I'm going to work on getting out of my comfort zone, and hopefully by the end of the year I'll be much better at writing. I'm also going to post more random art/doodles. I might make a separate blog for that, I'm not entirely sure of that idea yet though, but I'll definitely post more art.

I'm going to attempt to join in more challenges and events (for art and writing), but I won't push myself too hard. I do burn out easily. I'm going to be more lenient and forgiving towards myself as well. I'll be taking more breaks. I won't be giving myself strict deadlines. I am the biggest priority right now.

anyway — here's two lists I've made for projects I'm going to be working on either eventually, through-out 2025, or currently working on, and things I'm considering, as well as projects I've completely dropped/paused

2025 Projects;

Organized in order of currently working on

(Second list is for the more ambitious/overwhelming projects that won’t be made till 2026)

(?) - considering , will be at the very end of the list.

The Limbo Remake/Rewrite (currently working on)

CRP creatures/cryptids short horror stories (list of creatures/cryptids made already, just need to brainstorm story ideas)

Backrooms survival horror series (this will be ongoing throughout the year after I complete the creatures/cryptids short horror stories.)

Masky/Tim head cannons (this is something I'll do for fun as a little break, I'm not sure when I'll start it or post it)

list of character head canons (favorite songs, food allergies, heights, styles, etc.) ((this is something I'll do as a break as well. I'll probably make this after I finish the Masky/Tim head cannons. if I'm not too crammed with other projects.))

CRP AU mansion Headcanons (mansion description, mansion residence, relationships in the mansion) (I'll be writing these when I'm done with the two other headcanon lists and halfway through the list of creatures/cryptids stories.)

CRP AU separate living AU (characters who would live together, characters that canonically don't know each other/(head canon-) relationships between characters). ((These will probably be posted after I complete the other AU and finish my creature/cryptids stories completely or close to finishing them.)) 

individual character headcanons. (very, very back of my mind; I won't be working on these till I finish everything but the Backrooms survival (duh, lol)).

Updating my about me (creator/writer) post (this is something that I'll get around to; I don't have an exact date on it, but it will be updated and posted again)

making a new playlist for the blog (?) (I'm not really sure if I want to make another playlist, but I'm thinking about it.)

- Not including any events/challenges I might join to better my writing skills. (fluffbruary, genre-specific challenges, daily word counts, AU August, Sicktember, whumptober, etc.) (I'll probably make a list of challenges/events I'll (probably) join this year and post it after this.)

- Not including any random rants/rambles I decide to post, I want to continue writing random psychology "essays" as well.

Big projects;

(?) - considering will be at the very end of the list.

Ticci Toby x Clockwork Slow Burn Fanfic (This is the end project as a little reward for when I reach my writing goal.)

CRP AU (zombie/monster apocalypse) ((very, VERY big project that I honestly probably won't get around to this year.))

creepypasta character origin story rewrites(?) ((still considering; probably won't work on this till 2026 because I have a lot of ideas for several characters, and it will just be very time-consuming.))

projects I’ve dropped;

Jason the toymaker fanfic (dropped completely)

fluff oneshots (paused?)

If you’ve made it this far thank you for reading! I hope I can post again soon! <3

[akihayakawife]

don't think anyone cares but i wanted to talk about and rate each fob album. i am rating based on personal enjoyment and not on any professional music knowledge lol i barely know how to read musical notations. not gonna include evening out with your girlfriend coz i haven't listened to it enough to have an opinion. but i like pretty in punk!

remember this is just my opinion i am happy to hear what u think even if u disagree

take this to your grave

i really really like this. i love how patrick sings in this, he got that emo dialect ON. dare i say it's one of my favorite albums by them. i just really love emo/pop-punk and i love the energy in this. i'm super bad with words and ratings this is a bad review LMAOO im sorry but i think ill rate this a 9/10. just because i feel a lot of the songs sound the same and i feel like there's albums i like more. but i really really love it.

fav songs from the album:

tell that mick he just made my list of things to do today

homesick at spacecamp

the pros and cons of breathing

from under the cork tree

i discovered fob at 12/13. i mainly listened to srar, ab/ap, fad and ioh back then. i did listen to some of futct, but i rediscovered the album at 16 and then rediscovered it AGAIN at 18. and it's so so nostalgic to me. spring/early summer of 2022 is one of my favorite times because i played this album constantly while riding my bike or getting ready to go out. again, i love the sound of it and the more pop-punk/emo direction of it. i guess a lot of it is nostalgia, but it's just so 🩷🩷 . 9.5/10 because sound wise it reminds me of tttyg and i also feel like a lot of the songs sound similar (not necessarily a bad thing), but i do like it a tad bit more than tttyg.

fav songs from the album:

a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me

xo

of all the gin joints in the world

infinity on high

i love it!! who would've thought!! contemplating if i like it more than futct. i like how the songs sound more different from each other, but still have this pop-punk sound. obviously contains bang the doldrums which is a huge plus. lyrically i also really like. super fun to sing! i really like it. not much else to say here. there's a little bit of criticism i have (which is just personal taste) some of the instrumentals are just not my type of music. like, ill ignore what i dislike though, because the whole song is so good that i can ignore what i dislike. yk? yeah -0.2 points for that

dare i say 9.8/10

fav songs from the album:

the take over, the breaks over

don't you know who i think i am

hum hallelujah

folie à deux

liked it a lot too! i know a lot of people think it's their best album, and i see where they're coming from. i absolutely love it, but i feel like the songs were just a tiny bit less energetic than in previous albums (which, if you couldn't tell, are my favorite types of songs). but lyrically and sound wise i still adore it. i'll give it an 8.8/10 coz i prefer the others over it but i couldn't bear giving it an 8/10. lol. oh also i don't care nightcore version went platinum in my room in 2017.

fav songs from the album:

w.a.m.s

headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet

what a catch, donnie

save rock and roll

the dreaded post hiatus albums. i actually considered srar my favorite album for a long time (before i listened to the others in full, lol) but i really don't think it's as bad as a lot of people make it out to be? sure, it has a lot of skips for me personally, and i prefer their old sound, and maybe its the nostalgia talking, but i do like a lot of the songs. death valley nightcore version with the aot season 1 poster in the background shaped me in ways i can not explain. you had to experience it yourself. i will say though that i really don't like fobs super popular songs (my songs know what u did in the dark, the phoenix, centuries, immortals) not sure why! i used to like them a lot more as a tween, now i just don't enjoy them. i don't hate them, and i will listen if i have to, but they're skips for me. especially mskwyditd. overall a 6.5/10 album for me.

fave songs from the album:

alone together

where did the party go (was my fave of fob for a long time!)

death valley/just one yesterday

american beauty/american psycho

i hate that i share the opinion of the mainstream but i also didn't really like this. i don't hate the album, fourth of july is phenomenal imo, i love it. but a lot of the instrumentals i just didn't like. i listen to a lot of different genres, and i love pop and pop-rock. but this album sometimes was giving annoying millennial imagine dragons maroon 5. which is a huge overstatement bc my glorious kings could never stoop this low. but you get the gist. 4/10 for me. not terrible, i just don't like it much. but the nostalgia hits.

fave songs from the album:

fourth of july

novocaine

the kids aren't alright

mania

i love and respect all mania truthers but for me personally it's just not that good. i know mania is overhated, that's not what im here to do. it's just not my kind of music and that's fine. i'm glad the band is experimenting and evolving. but it is a skip for me unfortunately. i like church though, and a few other songs are catchy. 3/10

fave songs from the album:

church

wilson (expensive mistakes)

so much (for) stardust

to be honest i haven't listened to this album often enough to really form an opinion so i will not rate it or say my favorite songs. but i still wanted to talk about it. so far this is my favorite album post hiatus! i really like it. it doesn't compare to my faves, but it's fun and definitely more my type of music. i like that it still feels a bit experimental, but more true to their origins (?). kinda feels like pre- and (the best of) post hiatus combined. it's cool :)

[coelakanths]

my jenny wakeman cd is complete….

65 minutes of a bunch of jenny songs!!!!! and you can hold it in your hands and cherish it with your ears!!!!!!!!! design choices + song analysis thoughts under the cut :3

okkkk. this was so fun to make!!! took me two days in total but it would’ve taken less time if I didn’t have work and a life outside of cartoons 🙄 but I digress. most of these songs are taken from this jenny playlist that I just love with my whole heart… I hope the creator is out there so they know that i am so picky with my character playlists and they really hit a home run here which NEVER happens for me. tysm to that random stranger for being the best!!

anyway :3 jennys musical vibe falls into a few categories— i looked mostly for girl pop, hyperpop/electro-whatever, teen angst, etc etc… big early 2000s vibe. I briefly considered adding some older songs to fit the aesthetic of the show but it’s just not her!!! shes just a little rebellious like that!

most of these songs are pretty straightforward in their connection to jenny imo but with character playlists i always have the itch to explain and over-analyze why everything fits well. im going to refrain from doing that too much here but know that each song was picked with a lot of thought. probably too much thought if im being honest.

now onto the actual design of the cd case! the design is a little underwhelming i know, but i didn’t want to bite off more than i could chew. i included two separate star motifs seen in the show (jennys “blast off” and the little stylized sparkles) and of course the trans flag because well. have you seen her?

I tried (and sort of failed…) to make the song list look like a circuit board? idk. it’s a little ugly. i didn’t try THAT hard. i think if i were to do this again id print off an image of a circuit board and use that instead. i have a huge collection of them (as seen in the background of the photos!) and considered cutting one to size, but it would be too thick and bumpy.

the cd itself is nothing special!! i put stickers on it and wrote down the main details. i like to keep the cds themselves fairly simple, but maybe someday ill be braver with them :,-)

this project was really just a test run for a line of nicktoons unite character cds!! the main one i want to do is for danny. i have a ~3hr long danny playlist and the cds i have can only hold 80mins so i think im gonna make two cds for him but im not sure yet. i just wanted more practice before i took on that project and who better to work with than my favorite robot girl?

that’s all!!! thank you for reading this :-) i love doing weird insanely self indulgent projects for nobody but myself! good to be crafting again ⭐️🤖

[shewolf-sinclair]

OKAY this post is gonna be long, bear with me.

Wednesday s2 is in production. here are my thoughts + what we know so far. -> anything in bold is my personal opinions and annectdotes. regular text is confirmed information. I will color code this by character and list in order of appearance in post. (percy hynes white/xavier addressed in italics. it is its own thing kinda)

Tyler

Bianca

Xavier

Yoko

Addams Family

Ajax - also listed eugene and pugsley (related information)

New Sheriff - Enid - Divina&Kent - Barry Dort - Dr. Fairburn (i am running out of colors so they don’t get one/each only has one mention/not much information.)

Capri

——————————————————————————-

New headmaster - who???

Stalker arc - so excited, is it someone old or new? (see yoko)

New mayor? -> What’s the deal with lucas? I hope to see him return as he became really interesting towards the end, in his interactions with Bianca and suggested past with tyler. His actor is not listed on any casting announcements, he (iman) is however interacting with the announcements on social media.

New Sheriff! Donovan Galpin’s actor is only listed as gueststarring, yet the deputy from last season is listed as recurring and in the cast picture with all the regulars for the season. This suggests donovan is stepping down or something and we will have a new sheriff for Wednesday to butt heads with during her investigation. however donovan isn’t entirely gone, suggesting he still has some part to play in story progression — likely involved with Tylers S2 story.

TYLER!! if you follow my blog for a while you’ll know I’m the tyler apologist ever. I wholeheartedly believe he was innocent (yes he did the crimes but like. mind control. i’ll link the thread here and bottom of post) personally I’m hoping we get a redemption arc. We know that hunter doohan is a season regular and major player based on his spot on the cast list. He broke out last season.. but how/why? I’m excited to see more of tyler. i love him sm you guys. -> thornhill is not coming back, as christina ricci is not listed and is seemingly univolved. the general consensus is thornhill died in her last few minutes of screentime though nothing on that was ever confirmed. I am looking foward to confirmation and what that means for Tyler, not having a master to force him to kill and all (again, ties into my previous point and I have evidence for why this in particular is important) (see bottom of this post)

Moving on: Bianca. Joy Sunday is listed as a series regular and a major player. After last seasons ending, I am excited to (hopefully) see the continuation of her growth and development away from being a bully and also hear more of her backstory with her mom and ‘morning song’.

That being said, nightshades. Percy Hynes White is confirmed to be not returning, neither percy nor netflix has made a statement, and we are unsure if this decision was percy’s or netfix’s. We do not know if Xavier is to be written out or was recast. -> Naomi (yoko) is also not returning. Naomi made a statement on instagram as to why. However, she was in last season’s promotional materials which suggests she was intended to be important. there were many theories she was the stalker. Here’s to hoping for a S3 return!-> the dias-watson twins (divina and kent) are not listed on any casting announcements nor have the twins posted anything regarding the production announcements. However, nothing has been confirmed regarding their return and no statements have been made. -> we don’t know what this means for the nightshades but I hope to see more of them this season, including inducting enid. maybe pugsley and eugene, who are both set to be series regulars - as is ajax. Personally ajax is one of my favorite characters and I am excited for him to play a bigger part in the story. enjax truthers unite!

Addams family members are also set to return. Morticia and Gomez are now considered series regulars according to the production announcements. Additionally, we will be seeing Grandmamma and Fester (Fred Armisen) as guest starring characters. The 90’s actor of fester is also confirmed to be making an appearance, though no character name has been announced.

STEVE BUSCEMI?! WHAT IS HE DOING HERE HELLO??? (I love him guys he’s so silly) -> Several other new cast members has been announced. Steve Buscemi is confirmed to be playing someone named Barry Dort, we have no further information on the character. Thandiwe Newton is confirmed to be playing someone named Dr. Fairburn, we have no other information on the character. Based on the gueststar status and Dr. in the name, there are many theories that they will be the new therapist, but nothing is confirmed. We also have Billie Piper as Capri. no further official information. I am so excited to meet this capri!! All I can say is that I doubt they will be the new headmaster because what headmaster has only a first name?? However, they also likely won’t be a new student because it’s Billie Piper, who is the same age as the other adult characters’ actors in the show whereas the students’ actors are in their 20’s/early 30’s. I think there’s a good chance they’re a siren as Capri is an tropical island. (please be morning song pleaseeee I’m desperate) -> three members of our new cast have no character names (Evie Templeton, Noah B. Taylor, Owen Painter) There are RUMORS (nothing confirmed) That Taylor or Painter may be Xavier recasts. -> All of these new cast members (besides Newton who is a gueststar I think probably a new therapist to replace kinbott) are listed as reoccurring, with Steve Buscemi listed directly under Jenna Ortega and above Emma Myers on the cast list, suggesting he has a major role. Earlier this year there were rumors or Buscemi’s casting, with people suggesting he may play the new headmaster. THIS IS JUST A RUMOR at this time. There was speculation that Weems (Gwendoline Christie) may still be alive, but with Christie being seemingly uninvolved it is likely to be false speculation. There are more new cast members plying unnamed characters, listed as gueststars.

AND YES, THING IS RETURNING!!!

They will not be filming in Romania again. The majority of the show was not done on soundstage. and was filmed in and around real buildings in romania. This means they have to duplicate everything as a soundstage, possibly limiting some filming capabilities. They are, instead, filming in Ireland.

Lastly, we have the title for Episode 1: Here we woe again.

This is all for now!! Please let me know if you have more CONFIRMED information (i will add it to this post and tag you!) or have questions on anything mentioned. I will be sharing more as things come out.

My sources include: Season 1 references, Netflix’s official instagram, The cast’s official instagrams, and these articles.

if you want my comments on tyler: (be prepared it is literally a thought dump and not organized and composed like this post. i may properly write it out at a later date idk yet)

[coralhoneyrose]

QUICK I MUST HAVE CHROBIN FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS BEFORE I WRITE THEM MYSELF

Oh man, I wish I could ask you follow-up questions in order to curate these recommendations more to your taste LOL. Idk if you are interested in reading chrobin for all Robin genders, if you're only looking for complete fics, if you're comfortable with smut, etc., but in light of my inability to know your preferences, I'm just gonna cast a wide net with my recommendations and let you sort through what appeals most to you from the list. I am also going to resist talking about *what* I love about each of these fics for now or else we will be here all day, but if there are any you would like to hear more about in a follow-up, feel free to lmk. Clearly I am just excited to have any excuse to talk about chrobin and some of the very wonderful fan work that exists for the pairing <3

Also big disclaimer that this is not a comprehensive list. This fandom is 2000+ fics strong and I am absolutely going to forget some gems and personal favorites. Additional note that many of the authors on here are prolific contributors with many excellent chrobin fics and that I definitely recommend browsing their profiles for more if you enjoy anything on here. In fact, please do, because I tried to limit myself to just one selection per author here and some of these writers have so sooooo many chrobin fics that make me crazy in the best way. Okay, without further ado:

A Book of Most Curious Letters (Perhaps silly to include this one in that it's very fandom famous but it's also my all time favorite so I'm including it anyway LOL)

The Heart of the Moon

All's Fair In War and Fake Engagement

An Inevitable Encounter

Otherworldy

The Blank Man

Take On Me, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Chrom

Carrion Comfort

there's a record on and the song remains

Stunning

worthiness is no more than a brazen gambit

Convince Me

The Colours of Me, the Colours of You, the Colours of Us

Oceanic Eyes, a Radiant Smile, and a Solar Halo

I Like What We Have

A Gentle Whisper

Homecoming

For Lucina

Return

like a thief into the night

First

Between

The Rook's Endgame

Someone reaching back for me

Priorities

Okay, I'm gonna cut myself off there for now--hopefully this helps! That being said, I definitely think that in addition to reading these fics you should still consider writing some yourself if you want to~ Often times creating scratches a different type of itch, and from a purely selfish standpoint, I like having more chrobin to read too LOL. Thanks for the ask, anon!

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Adaine Abernant S3 Character Playlist: Side A

So many feelings, so many. Here's to our overworked teenage oracle of all.

Genres Include: Alternative Rock, Folk, Pop-punk

1. Custom Concern, Modest Mouse

Their custom concern for the people Build up the monuments and steeples To wear out our eyes I get up just about noon My head sends a message for me to reach for my shoes and then walk Gotta go to work, gotta go to work, gotta have a job Goes through the parking lot fields Doesn't see no signs that they would yield and then thought This'll never end, this'll never end, this'll never stop

Yeah, obviously, this is about spending so much of your time devoted to a job and losing your mind about it. There are a lot of songs about hating your job, but I don't think they capture the level of dissociation and disillusionment like this one.

2. Why Am I Like This?, Orla Gartland

Last night, I smoked a cigarette My dad would have been so upset Then we got tattoos by the coast Maybe I'm an old soul trapped in a young body Maybe you don't really want me there at your birthday party I'll be there in the corner, thinking right over Every single word of the conversation we just had So why am I like this? Why am I like this?

I can just imagine Adaine getting to experience so much of "normal" teenage life now that she's not controlled by her parents, getting to be the party wizard, getting to be the cool girl with the best friends, and knowing that she still has that little voice in the back of her head.

3. I Don't Know You, Mannequin P*ssy

I know one, two things I have heard about you But I wouldn't tell you No, I couldn't tell you I know three, four things that they say about you But I wouldn't tell you No, I couldn't tell you I know a lot of things I know a lot of things But I don't know you

Adaine's exchanges with Oisin really took me off guard, just because romance has kind of never been able to be on her plate the past two seasons. It totally makes sense, she was dealing with the worst abusive family ever, but also that means that 17-year-old cool girl adaine is absolutely clueless about this stuff (not to say that Oisin is any better).

4. Boreas, The Oh Hellos

Making lists, folding laundry Keeping tidy with my radio show I'd be lying if I told you I'm keeping tidy anymore Yeah, I swing from believing That maybe my working will all pay off To considering drinking with Molotov I'm halfway out the door Maybe then my breath could embody A wildfire starting I'd sweep up the forest floor And my body'd breath life into the corners Be a darker soil

This song, in particular, is MY burnout song. It's one of my favorites, and it (Romans 10:9 by The Mountain Goats) is what I listen to when I just can't take it anymore. Also I love to pepper in a little bit of rage/fire/red imagery into each of the characters since I think we can all tell what brennan has cooking down the line 👀

5. Running Out Of Time, Paramore

Never mind, I hit the snooze on my alarm twenty times But I was just so tired There was traffic, spilled my coffee, crashed my car, otherwise Woulda been here on time Shoulda, coulda, wouldn't matter, ultimate alibi You know it's a lie There was a fire Metaphorically Be there in five Hyperbolically

Obsessed with this song and the entire album, Ms. Williams (and the rest of Paramore, by extension) have my entire heart. I also like that we have cross over with having Cest Comme Ca on the Kristen playlist and this song here. I really like the dreamy quality this one has for Adaine though (could almost say trance-like ha ha)

6. How to Boil an Egg, Courtney Barnett

Pull yourself together, pick myself apart Nothing lasts for never so be still my bleeding heart Oh I've been dreaming, dreaming of a brand new start Yeah, I've been dreaming, dreaming of a brand-new start Oh, you have a great abundance of axes there to grind Remember some people have real problems next time you whine Oh, hang the washing Hang the washing on the line Yeah, hang the washing, hang the washing on the line

I just think she should start charging for prophecies. Like those tarot readers/astrologers on like etsy. People (elves) should fantasy venmo the oracle and she should turn her unpaid position into a lucrative business. Extort some hoity toity elves.

[choicesmc]

Rams' 4 Bands

This is a long one folks. I had so much fun with it, I hope y'all will too! I'm putting it under a read more because (and this is a warning) it is long. And all the art you'll see is mine (admittedly it's only four pieces but 🤷‍♂️)

Tagging: @choicesbookclub

Summary: A rather established band with pop rock aesthetic. Rams found them in ~8th grade and has been an avid fan since! Right now, she's listening to their latest album: Solitude.

Band Name: +Eyes+ Members:

Adaeze Okeke "Iris" Leontes Valjean "Lens" Dieuwe Antema "Optic"

Latest Album: Solitude Songs In The Album: Keep Quiet, At Night, Things Stir, With Mal Intent, Interlude, Twilight Hour, Moonset, You Know Too Headcannons:

This band exists in the magickal world and are better known there! Their Tuneless music doesn't include Phono magick which often makes the sound feel 'lacking.' When Rams discovered this, xe reexperienced all their music 'properly' and will admit that it's much better on Phono than not. It feels complete.

Summary: Still underground, Buried Alive is a new band trying to gain a little following. Rams only heard of them through a friend of his who was friends with the band members. They only have four albums so Rams is starting with their first: BROKEN BONES.

Band Name: Buried ALIVE Members:

Ji-Woo Min Gang Deadweed Nkiruka Thorn

First Album: BROKEN BONES Songs In The Album: Mary's Strange Daughter, The Pastor's Sermon, My Witch Hunt, Sticks and Stones Headcannons:

They have a very ballad/tragic style. Each of the listed is songs is 9+ minutes long. Rams isn't sure how they feel about it yet but it's... not bad. It grows on them with each re-listen. The cover is homemade. They're trying their best, okay?

Summary: This band has the oldest members of all the bands Rams has listened to. The duo is 76 and 81 years old and their still going strong. Rams started listening sometime around sophomore year of high school.

Band Name: Sickening Sugar Members:

Immy (76) Mal (72) Nia (Deceased) Tyril (Deceased) Aerin (Deceased) Valax (Deceased)

Latest Album: Coffee + Tea Songs In The Album: Filter Me Out, Divide My Mix, Stir It In, No More Cream, Pieces of Crystal, Hot Bitter Drink, Choke and Choke Headcannons:

They're an old queer band though they were only moderately known in the 50s and 60s. That changed with the AIDs epidemic which claimed four of the six members lives leaving only Immy and Mal. Post-death, Sickening Sugar released a single (the last one to feature all members voices) titled 'What Do Mean? There's Still Six of Us'. It quickly gained traction and catapoulted the now duo into the centre of the LGBT movement throughout the late 80s and 90s. Their still heavily involved in activist work even if their heyday is a shiny memory. Yes, they are named after BOLAS characters because I think BOLAS the show is sort of like what Honor Amoung Thieves is to D&D. I headcannon that in-universe the BOLAS show pulled from a nerd culture of RPG games and Sickening Sugar named themselves after their favorite characters in those collaborative RPG games. It actually caused licensing issues while BOLAS was first coming out because two major characters couldn't be licensed since this band already held those licenses. The BOLAS legal team, Immy, and Mal worked out an agreement so Immy and Mal get royalties from each item. It's pretty good money considering the show's popularity.

Summary: it's a very folk-rock song. Mainly blending religion with critical anti-capitalism themes. The members in mid-40s and are currently on a break-up tour. Rams is devasted about it, the band has been a major part of hir highschool career and none had seen the break-up coming!

Band Name: PrOvide Members:

Wally Crawford Josslyn Platt Lilac Winton Astra Jackman

Last Album: Old School Choir Songs In The Album: Hymn, Hum, Worship, Watch, Praise, Pray, Worship, Watch Headcannons:

Yes, there are two different songs named Worship in the same album. Fans call the second one 'Worship Again' to differentiate them. Rumors have it that they're breaking up over creative differences but Rams doesn't fully believe those rumors. Unlike other bands, they've have a rather flexible sound that should be able to accommodate the odd/diverging album here and there.

[ziggy-stardust-is-in-love]

musical rant rn go

goodness gracious I wrote an entire novel yesterday and it all got deleted. Whatever.

OKAY HERE ARE ALL OF THE MUSICALS I THINK ABOUT IN ORDER

Frozen: Every six year old girl was obsessed with Frozen, including me. Good soundtrack and nostalgia. I still really want my theatre to do this show, but I’m not sure which role I’d want. Elsa, Anna, Christof, Olaf? I dunno. Too many good options

Hercules: One of my favorite movies since I was little. Insanely good soundtrack and super fun characters. If my theatre did this one I still wouldn’t know which role I’d want. Hercules would be great, but Meg is so fun, but Hades is even more fun!!

The Lorax: I’m considering this a musical so shut up. This has also been one of my favorites since I was little. Fun fact: as student council president I came up with the idea of making a Lorax themed bulletin board and we did it!! 💪 I think my presidency will be remembered as year of the Lorax or something like that. We’d come in every meeting and I’d play the soundtrack while we worked, it was perfect. I ALSO WANT MY THEATRE TO DO THIS BUT ID WANT TO PLAY EVERY ROLE. THEYRE ALL SO PERFECT

Sister Act: Pretty uncommon. The only reason i really listen to the soundtrack or anything was bc I was in it. This is the first musical I ever did (I’ve done 5 now) and in this I played Monsignor O’Hara, which is a pretty great role for a first time actor. I got to dad dance a deliver cheesy lines. The soundtrack is pretty good to me, but that might just be because of the distinct memories I have with each one. Like the time the power went out during a rehearsal so everyone sat in front of the stage with their phone flashlights on. That was super fun. Or all of my friends and I playing flee the facility on Roblox. 🥹 miss all of that

Dear Evan Hansen: or however it’s spelled. I’ve only read the book and occasionally heard the songs. The book was really good and I should really learn more about the musical.

Newsies: Second musical I was in and my first big role. Jacks best friend. It was awesome!! Before auditions I went over to my friend Emma’s house. She’s the one who brought me to theatre and we were watching newsies bc we knew nothing about it. I immediately, from the very first scene, wanted crutchie. Emma really wanted Katherine. I’ll always remember Emma FaceTiming me as soon as the cast list came out and telling me we got our dream roles and we were in the same cast. That was the best summer ever.

Elf: I don’t talk about this one too much bc it’s just trauma. I simply played a background elf because of my big role last show. I had two lines 😭 We did this for some reason and I decided “wouldn’t it be just great to bring my bf (now ex) to theatre!” So I did. What was I thinking. Halfway through rehearsals he broke up with me. I had to see him twice a week and it really sucked. I’m not gonna get too far into it bc my ex literally ruined my life but anyways

Wicked: My theatre didn’t do this play, I got to see it on broadway in November. It was really great. I went in knowing nothing about wicked and I came out obsessed. I was able to get a full cast signed poster and a copy of the novel. I’d definitely want to do this production at my theater someday but I just don’t know who I’d want to be. Elphaba or Glinda? Either way great show and good soundtrack for sure

Sweeney Todd: EEE!! Okay so the show itself is incredible. Great story, good characters, magnificent music, a 10/10 show for my theatre to do. The bad part is that this was just for the older age group, which means our director put a lot of pressure on us. Ever rehearsal someone went home crying (usually me) and nobody was having fun. I actually had an incredible role because I mentioned wanting Sweeney in auditions and I didn’t realize how much work that actually was. Thankfully they gave me an even better role: ANTHONY!! Still not my favorite role, Crutchie will always have that, but it’s awesome!! Being a lovesick sailor is basically me.

Heathers: Another fun musical!! We haven’t done this at my theatre and I don’t think we ever will 😔 I personally love belting these songs when I’m home alone, but that applies to basically all of these. Also if you’ve read this far that’s impressive bro. (Also I might start a secret side blog of me singing) but that’s a secret between you, me, and anyone else who read this far

American Idiot: The Green Day musical!! The music is obviously super good and the story is a bit strange but it’s really fun to watch slime tutorials of it on YouTube. (For any of you who don’t know, slime tutorials are what we call videos filming broadway productions because they’re illegal and a way for YouTube to not take them down is if you title them “slime tutorial.” If you ever want to see a bit of a musical poorly recorded on a trash phone, look up the name of the musical and you’ll usually find some.)

Peter Pan: Honestly a trash musical. The story makes no sense and most of the music is garbage. I played a lost boy, which is basically the only fun role in the whole show. I knew all of my other lost boys well, someone of them were already my best friends, so we were just a gang of rascals. Little Shop of Horrors: I went to a local production knowing very little and I came out of this one obsessed as well!!!! The soundtrack is sooo goood and my friends and I are super close to getting our theatre to do it. I would def want Seymour, Audrey, or Orin (the dentist)

WOW TYSM FOR LETTING ME GO ON A RANT I REALLY NEEDED THAT!!!!! YAYYY!!!! I think this is a complete list but I dunno. I’ll see if I forgot something at some point

[writersblockiskillingme]

so uhh here's a list cuz there's a bunch for Jann cuz yeah he's Jann

Mornings with him

traveling with him

movie night

date night

night time routine (like face masks on eachother)

Jann meeting reader at a gig, they see eachother at a store and Jann recognizes R and they get eachothers phonenumber and they start hanging out and eventually dating (maybe a lil smut or a lot)

Marvel!AU OR Game of Thrones!AU or even as a Sith in Star Wars!AU

After Date Night (could be part 2 to date night and this is SMUTTY AF)

maybe another song of his like you did with Gladiator

Jann with hippie!reader cuz I never see a damn hippie reader (but not like crazy and unhygienic hippies, yk what I mean)

unable to sleep and Jann helps (fluff, and/or smut or maybe even to versions)

CUDDLES

going with him to Eurovision (imagine he actually went), maybe him winning Eurovision and at the hotel after (maybe extreme fluff or very very very smutty)

Jann's instagram when R and him are dating

R being sick and Jann takes care

Jann being sick and R takes care

R gets hurt and Jann gets a little help crazy like wont let her do a lot without him near incase something happens due to R's injury

yeah I got a lot more that I need to write down so I don't forget TY

So This Is Love | Jan Rozmanowski/Jann

Pairing: Jan Rozmanowski/Jann x reader (singer!reader)

Summary: Jann noticed you randomly during one of his gigs. Eventually, you both realize that you will be competing in Eurovision as you start to date and experience the love you have for each other.

Warning/s: long author's note (I'm sorry, but I had to say it cause it's important), possible grammar and spelling mistakes, smut, but like kind of. Explicit, but at the same time not really, idk.

Author's note: Okay, so right now my inbox is literally being stuffed with requests for Jann after I made that one fic, but I'm loving it so much. For this fic I want to say sorry because I couldn't include all of the stuff from the big request, but I included almost everything. I also got another Damiano David request so I will be getting around to that one as well after this so yeah. There will be more Jann imagines and always feel free to request and I will try to get around to everything. Anyway, enjoy!

(F/F) = favorite fruit

(Y/C) = your country

You were truly having the time of your life. You were jumping around with a few friends, dancing, laughing, just having fun on a free Friday night. It was ironic really, you wanted to stay at home and binge watch your favorite shows and sleep, but thanks to your friends you were dragged out in a club where some guy you have never heard of was performing.

You really didn't want to go, considering the fact that you didn't know the singer nor didn't you know any of his songs, but now you were so glad that your friends dragged you out of your apartment to have fun for a while. Even tho you were kind of annoyed, you were so thankful to your friends for this moment.

Now, as you looked at the singer, you noticed something. He was so gorgeous, so handsome. He was simply breathing and it made you speechless for a while. His voice what slightly rough, but he was hitting higher notes and it made you shiver, but in a pleasant way. He was so tall. His hair was a dirty shade of blonde that was perfectly falling on his shoulders. His eyes were piercing black in the dark room. Every inch of his face was proving you that he was an angel sent from heaven. It was truly hypnotizing.

Jan Rozmanowski was in his zone. He was gripping on the microphone as he sang his soul out in front of the crowd. However, somewhere among the crowd, all of a sudden, he stopped his gaze and got quite for a second or two. Thankfully, however, nobody noticed that little moment. Everyone was either too drunk to catch that or they just didn't care about that.

Jan spotted a beautiful, no, gorgeous girl dancing and laughing in the crowd. He was so mesmerized by her beauty that he wanted to stop his performance right there, right at that moment, just so he could talk to her. To get to know her. He felt his breath get caught up in his throat as he watched her sway around the room, her hair flying around her as she danced carelessly. He just couldn't wait to get off of the stage to go and to talk to her. However, once he was done with his performance and one he went to get himself a drink from the bartender, he noticed that she was gone.

But, as luck would have it, it seemed that the whole universe didn't want that to me your last meeting. You couldn't even call it a meeting, really. That was considering the fact that you didn't even get the chance to talk even a little bit. Luckily, you accidentally bumped into each other at the grocery store just two days after his performance in the bar.

You were snooping around the fruit section looking for (F/F). You probably didn't really watch where you were going when you kind of bummed against a tall guy. You felt leather material pressing against you as you did. You started spitting apologizes at the person you bummed into and he was doing the same. However, you felt as if somebody stole all of the air away from your lungs once you saw who you bumped into. It looked like Jan wasn't experiencing something much different from what you were experiencing at the moment.

"Are you stalking me, gorgeous?" He asked you in a playful manner and you couldn't believe that he actually noticed you among the busy crowd.

"I don't know." You couldn't help but blush a little as you talked to the handsome singer in front of you. "Are you stalking me? You know, bumping into each other in a grocery store... it a bit cheesy don't you think?" You joked.

"Perhaps it is." He laughed. "But you know. I am nothing if not cheesy for a pretty girl."

And so you talked. In the middle of the store, you talked for a very long while. It seemed like hours have passed unnoticeable, but you never got bored, never ran out of things to say to each other. After a while, you exchanged numbers and you said your goodbyes. Just as you got in your car, you noticed that your phone light up. Jan wrote you a message.

"Just making sure I got the right number. - Jan" The message said. You didn't even notice how quickly you grabbed a hold of your phone and started to type back a response.

"Yes, you have the right number. - Y/N" You wrote and not even a second later you got another text.

"Great, it would be a shame if I couldn't hang out with a beautiful girl I met at the gig anymore."

You continued to text each other for days until Jan invited you to go and grab a cup of coffee with him. You were so excited about the invitation, you couldn't wait to see him. And so, after you practically jumped down the stairs of your apartment, you stepped onto the cold, chilly weather as you started to walk towards a familiar caffe place. You walked in and immediately noticed him. Jan stood up as you approached him and gave you a hug that was just about as friendly and innocent as it could be.

You got talking and as you did that, you found out that he was still very new to the music industry just like you were. However, you quickly realized that he had much talent and you just knew deep in your heart and soul that he is going to accomplish great things. You also discovered that both of you were supposed to compete in a Eurovision song contest. You were both so surprised, but nevertheless so happy to find out that interesting piece of information.

Time seemed to fly by as you talked about everything and nothing. In fact, it flew by so fast that you didn't even notice how the light outside suddenly disappeared. You also noticed that it started to rain.

So after you paid for your coffees, you ran out into the rain. He was staying in a hotel not so far away from your apparent, so he strongly suggested that he should walk you home and so you had no chance but to accept his offer.

You were running around the city, laughing like a pair of teenagers. It was fine though, you felt like it anyways. You were soaking wet by the time that you got to your apartment. You didn't really know what it was.

Perhaps it was the tiredness, or the silly crush you both had on each other or perhaps it was the coldness that covered your bodies compelling you to find any sorce of heat. You truly didn't know what it was, but at that moment you got closer as you leaned against the door of your apartment. Jan and you could feel the hot breath on each other faces, looking longingly in each other's eyes before Jan finally broke the ice and pressed his lips against yours. And so you let him do just that. You were enchanted and it felt better that anything you have ever experienced.

After the start of the Eurovision song contest it felt like things were getting crazier. Once Jan and you were 100% sure that you will be representing your countries in Eurovision, you started to practice randomly at each other's apartments just for fun. Jan was competing with his song Gladiator and you were complimenting with your song El Diablo (A/N: let's be clear, I don't have any rights for this song, it's just for the sake of fic plus that is one of my favorite Eurovision songs so here you go).

After a while you both had to start with the process of packing for the contest, so it was safe to say that you didn't see each other for about a week because of the busy schedule up until you had to meet in Liverpool in United Kingdom for the competition.

It was all an emotional roller-coaster, truly. The competition was full of nervousness and joy and love and just amazing energy. You made some new friends and your relationship with Jan seemed to get stronger.

The weeks seemed to fly buy and so before you know it, the day to announce the winner has finally arrived. Poland and (Y/C) was sitting right next to each other as you anxiously waited for them to announce the winner. You were currently at 4th place and Jan was on second. Before you knew it, it was announced that Poland was the winner!

Jan and you jumped on each other and started to celebrate. You were hugging for so long that you eventually had to push him away so he could perform and get his prize. You felt utter, pure joy as you watched him sing his song Gladiator. You started to sing and dance, too. At that moment, it was like everyone was happy.

After your winner came down he quickly brought you into another hug and gave you a kiss. You could hear people around you cheer even louder, but you didn't really pay that much attention to them. You felt something else as you kissed him. It was a bit more different than your usual kiss. It was more passionate. More needy. It was full of longing. After that you had to attend a little after party and you just couldn't wait to go away for a bit. Luckily for you, all that wait was worth your while.

The moment that Jan and you walked into his hotel room, you were all over each other. Not like that wasn't a case the entire night, but still. He was kissing you so passionately, it was all oh so greedy. It was perfect.

Both of you slowly started to undress as you moved painfully slow towards the bed. Once you got there he slowly started to kiss your neck. After a while he started to slowly trail his kisses down your body.

"Are you sure?" He stopped to ask you that just as he was about to reach the place where you needed him the most at the moment.

And so, with a needy nodd from you it all began. It was safe to say that you were celebrating his win all night long.

Your life with Jan after you met him and after Eurovision only seemed to get better and better. It was as if it couldn't be more perfect.

You were sleeping in the bed, completely exhausted from the last night's activities. You were rudely woken up by a bright dim of the Sun coming through the window. You steached out in the bed noticing that your hair was spread out all over your pillow. Your hand accidentally fell onto the spot where your boyfriend was supposed to be laying in, but he wasn't. You found the other side of the bed to be completely cold. You groaned softly as you sat up, the sheets slowly falling down your naked body. You grabbed the first shirt that you could find and so you put on Jan's shirt and found out that it was truly to big for you. However, you didn't really care as you started to make your way towards the kitchen.

There he was. Jan was standing in the middle of the kitchen, shirtless, making coffee. As he noticed your presence, he turned around to face you. His messy hair falling perfectly onto his shoulders as his gorgeous crystal that represented his eyes looked at you.

"What are you doing up, gorgeous?" He asked you, his voice still raspy from the sleep. "I wanted to bring you coffee and breakfast in bed."

Yes, everything was truly perfect.