#I was apparently playing this game for the first time six years ago and so I was reminded of this lol

[blackchantilly]

Adding this to my sex playlist, right next to that Hudson Mohawke song.

[whateveriwant]

Annoying Things the 141 Do

Price

Never cleans the sink well after he shaves. Every time you go in the bathroom after he’s trimmed his beard, it’s like walking into a crime scene of a hamster massacre

Always manages to load the dishwasher wrong (because, yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, John)

Asks you to wait for him to get home so you can watch your shows together, but then as soon as you start the first episode, he falls asleep beside you

Smokes his cigars inside sometimes. I don’t care that you sprayed air freshener afterwards, sir. Now the whole house smells like spring meadow and shit!

Is incapable of closing the door behind himself?? At least, that appears to be the case since he’s always leaving your door wide open even though you ask him to shut it when he goes

Doesn’t like throwing things out because he’ll “find a use for it one day”. Even if that day ever does come, I think he has a better chance of finding Atlantis than finding that scrap piece of wood he saved four years ago

Ghost

Turns the TV on and then just… walks away??? And if you try to change it to something else, he grumbles “I was watchin’ tha’” when he comes back

Drinks milk/juice/etc. straight out of the carton. Mr Simon “Patient Zero” Riley might not see the problem with this, but I think the rest of us would agree that is diabolical behavior

Leaves his wet towel on the floor after he showers even though the towel rack is right? there?

Hates asking for help even when he has no clue what he’s doing. Like, sure, I get wanting to fix things yourself. However, I’d rather spend $100 on a simple repair than $1000 on a full replacement after he breaks the thing even more

Puts his phone calls on speaker whenever possible. While this can have its merits sometimes (you get firsthand news of Gaz’s engagement!), most of the time it feels like a nuisance (do you really need to hear Soap talk about his hemorrhoids?)

MANSPREADERRRR! This man cannot sit like a civilized being to save his life. He claims he sits like that because his balls need to breathe, and to that I say good luck trying to breathe after I karate chop you in the throat :))))

Soap

Cuts his toenails in bed, which wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if he didn’t accidentally leave one or two rogue clippings that stab you in the side later when you’re trying to get comfortable

Forgets to put the toilet seat down when he gets up in the middle of the night to pee – that or he pisses all over the seat in the dark. Either way, prepare to have wet cheeks the next time you sit on the toilet

Whenever he doesn’t feel like doing the laundry, he just buys a new set of whatever’s dirty (that’s how he ended up with 100 pairs of socks and 200 pairs of underwear)

Talks nonstop through every show/movie you try to watch. Good luck getting more than five minutes of uninterrupted runtime next to this yapper

Apparently, doesn’t understand what “one bite” means? Whenever he asks you for a bite of your food, he always ends up taking five or six

Also, apparently doesn’t know how to chew with his mouth closed? Like, I’m glad you’re enjoying your meal, Johnny, but can you enjoy it without speckling it all over the table and my face?

Gaz

Two words: bathroom hog. I hope you don’t like taking hot showers or having more than a 6x6 inch square of counter space for your stuff, because after Kyle’s done with his 30-step beauty routine, there’s little of either left

Never knows what he wants to eat for dinner, and no matter what you suggest, he never thinks it sounds good

Has the gall to chastise you for your screen time even though he’s just as bad as you, if not worse (because you being on your phone before bed is so much worse than him playing video games for nine hours straight, right?)

Rests his feet on the couch/bed/coffee table while wearing shoes. It doesn’t matter if they’re brand new or beaten up; take your damn shoes off the furniture, sir!

Never writes down the shopping list because he’ll “remember everything”. (Newsflash: he does not remember everything, which means cue taking a second trip to the store)

Watches one documentary and thinks he’s an expert on the subject. You can have studied a thing for years, can present him with a bunch of rock solid facts and reputable sources, and he’ll hit you with a “Well, actually ☝️🤓” and then proceed to give the most nonsensical take ever

[thornypucks]

peppermint mocha | lena oberdorf

synopsis any excuse to get your girlfriend to kiss you was a good one

warnings literally just fluffy fluff

words 1737

notes this was supposed to go up on christmas but then i got sick so you get it on new years instead :) also shoutout to @alphaniner1415 - this is kind of part two <3

It was cold. Way too fucking cold. The hand you had wrapped around your paper coffee cup was at least a little warm from the contents inside, but the one holding onto the mistletoe felt like it was about to fall off at any second. On top of that it had started drizzling a couple of minutes ago, because it was cold but apparently not cold enough for snow, the wind was blowing your hair in every direction and your jacket felt too tight with the big sweater you were wearing underneath. So shortly- you were overstimulated, tired from a long day of work and just really fucking cold.

But in that second you rounded the corner and Lenas apartment came into view, the sight so familiar it made you ache. The past year had been good. Incredible even. Getting to really know Lena, not only as a friend but as a girlfriend had been the best journey you've ever got on. You loved going to her games and hearing her rant about plays and games for hours. You hated when she had to leave for games and tournaments or when she came home, defeated in every sense of the word. You enjoyed the quiet nights in her apartment and the loud ones when her teammates and friends joined. You despised the first argument you had that simply boiled down to you being scared of being too much and Lena wanting as much of you as she could get. You took pleasure in her showing up at the cafe just to spend time with you and have a cappuccino and you almost lost your mind when Lena crumbled on the field after literally budding heads with another player. You were delighted to meet her family and getting to know her parents, sibling, aunts, uncles and most importantly her dog. And above everything else you were so comfortable in this little bubble that Lena had wrapped around the both of you. You had never been so in love nor felt so loved by somebody. Lena wasn't shy of straight up telling you how she felt. Never. But she also showed you. When she took off her scarf to wrap it around you, when she planned a picnic on her balcony because she thought you would like it, when she brought you flowers and when she mapped out your whole body with her hands and her mouth, determined to touch every inch of you.

You felt yourself heat up at the thought as you finally reached the front door. You fumbled with the pocket of your jacket, not wanting to put down the cup, nor the branch in order to get your key out. Lena had given it to you only two months after the first night spent together. It had been quiet but bold, like everything she did. She had just slipped the lonely key over the table during breakfast, a big smile spreading across her face. Your reaction had been a lot less quiet and had included a lot more body contact. You had not officially moved in, but measured by the time you spend in her apartment, you might as well have. But that was a conversation for a different day. You finally managed to get your key out and unlocked the door. You quickly made your way up the stairs - rushed by your plans for tonight and the cold that was still creeping up your fingers. You finally unlocked the second door, moaning at the warm air of the apartment. Around six months of dating you realized that Lena's place had really started to feel like home. More and more of your things had slowly made their way into the apartment. It started mostly with clothes and toiletries, quickly moving to mugs, books, games and literally anything else. Then you started buying stuff for her place. Decor and pans and what else you could think of. Your apartment had turned into more of an office space and you were silently waiting for Lena to ask you to move in. You put down your cup on the shoe cupboard and carefully laid the mistletoe branch on the ground. You could now finally get rid of the too tight jacket, your hat and scarf and finally your shoes, putting everything where it belonged before picking up your cup and the branch again.

The plan had come to you kind of randomly. A week ago you had walked past a little Christmas market booth that was selling mistletoe. The tradition of having to kiss underneath one had always been a little weird to you, but any excuse to get your girlfriend to kiss you and to be a little cheesy was a good one. You'd also purchased some fairy lights, candles and you've brought home some of Lena's favorite foods from the cafe and the Munich Christmas market. So you got to work.

You spread out all the food on the couch table, putting candles in between the plates and in various other places in the apartment. You wrapped fairy lights around one of your windows and the doorway leading into the open living space. That's also where you hang the mistletoe. Your phone chimed just as you were done hanging the branch, lighting up with a message from Lena.

"Just finished training. Gonna be home soon. Love u."

Your face spread into a smile. You finished the rest of your coffee that had gone cold by now and slowly started lighting all the candles. Once you were done with that you plugged in the fairy lights and turned off the rest of the normal lights. The room looked like Christmas had just thrown up in it. It was perfect. But now you didn't really know what to do with yourself. You were too excited to just sit down and wait so you made your way over to the kitchen to clean some pans and other stuff lying around. You tried hard to occupy yourself until you finally heard the key turn in the lock. You very quickly made your way to the doorway, positioning yourself right underneath the mistletoe.

The door opened and Lena stopped in the doorway looking at you surprised and slightly confused. She was cuddled up in her big winter jacket, beanie on her head, big workout bag in her hand and her comfy joggers on. Her mouth was slightly agape, her eyes tracing your body before finally moving up to the mistletoe above you. The confused look on her face quickly changed into a still surprised but happier smirk. "Hello to you too." She smiled and finally stepped in, closing the door behind her. "Hi my love." You just grinned back waiting more or less patiently for her to take off her jacket and put down her bag. You were rocking back and forth on your feet, watching her every move.

She had finally put her shoes away and took a couple of steps towards you before stopping right in front of you, her face spreading in fake surprise. "Oh would you look at that." Her right pointer finger came up to your chin, gently pushing it upwards so you could look at the mistletoe. "A mistletoe, what a lovely coincidence." Your own smile spread as well and you moved your eyes from the greenery back to her. Her brown eyes twinkled with mischief and you soaked up every second of it. So far you had loved all the versions you had seen of Lena. But her silly and teasing side was definitely in your top five. "Oh no." She now almost whispered dramatically, her face coming even closer to yours until she could gently nudge your nose with hers. "Guess I have to kiss you now." You couldn't help the giggle that escaped you before she pressed her mouth onto yours. You hummed, satisfied, into the kiss, enjoying the warm press of her lips on yours. She licked your lips, gently coaxing you to open your mouth. You buried your hands in her sweater around her hips while hers went up to cradle your chin, her thumb drawing small circles into your jaw.

She gently broke the kiss, still holding you close. "We should leave the mistletoe here I think." You said after you managed to catch your breath. "Lena just smiled and nodded before she started smacking her lips. "You taste good. What is that?" You giggled and pressed another short peck onto her lips. "Peppermint mocha. I ordered some new syrups and they came in the mail today." You barely had time to catch the mischievous glint in Lena's eyes before she suddenly tipped you back, making you squeak and clawing your hands deeper into her sweater. She had moved one hand to your back and the other to the back of your head holding you almost horizontal. She pressed her mouth back onto yours, her tongue finding yours immediately. You couldn't help but giggle into her mouth as she slowly pulled you back up again. You separated, just smiling at each other for a minute. Lena removed the hand from the back of your head and gently pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "Thank you for the surprise babe." She smiled. "Mhm well that's not all of it." You smiled back, taking a couple of steps back and taking her with you. You watched Lena's face as she took in the room. Her eyes wandered from the candles to the fairy lights and then to the food before making their way back to you. "Oh baby that's beautiful." Her arms now wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush to hers before burying her head in the crook of your neck pressing a kiss into the soft skin. "Thank you my love." You just hummed in acknowledgement while also wrapping your arms tighter around her waist. You stayed like this for a while before Lena raised her head again and captured your lips in another slow but intense kiss. The world tuned out around you and the only thing left was Lena.

"You really do taste good." Lena pressed yet another kiss onto your lips, stealing your breath. "You're gonna have to make me one of those peppermint mochas soon my love."

[solarmorrigan]

Bats, and What to Do With Them

For the @steddie-spooktober day 14 prompt: Bats Rated: T | Words: 756 | CW: None | Tags: established relationship, Steve Harrington has absent parents, at the very least, Steve Harrington deserves nice things, and Eddie will give them to him Divider credit: @saradika

The first time Steve holds a bat, he is four years old, and his dad has signed him up for tee ball.

To be perfectly honest, Steve isn’t entirely sure what’s going on. It’s bright, there are a lot of other kids milling around, everyone seems to be shouting about something, and Steve is apparently supposed to be doing something with the bat in his hands.

When he finally does figure it out—when he hits the ball and it actually goes somewhere—his dad whoops from his spot in the crowd, and Steve glows. His dad isn’t around much, doesn’t have much time to play with Steve, but he’s here now, and Steve wants to make him to stick around. He runs when they tell him, and hits the ball when he’s supposed to, and he does his best to make his dad proud.

Tee ball becomes Little League, becomes the Hawkins Middle School team, becomes junior varsity in high school, but by the time he’s sixteen, Steve has given up on baseball. His dad had stopped coming to his games a long time ago, and Steve’s realized it will take a lot more than hitting a ball to make his dad proud.

Still, the feel of a bat is familiar in his hands when he swipes it up off the floor of the Byers’ living room. The weight is a little different, a little off-kilter with all the nails hammered into it, but Steve can adapt. He’s hit smaller targets than the thing he’s aiming for, but it’s never mattered as much that he lands a swing as it does right now.

He doesn’t even have to think about it; muscle memory takes over as he winds up, aims for the flower-petal head full of teeth that’s about to kill his friends, and swings for the fucking fences.

Later, even though the bat had been Nancy’s, and it had been Jonathan who’d filled the thing with nails, it stays in Steve’s possession. They both think that it’s best in his hands, and Steve doesn’t disagree. It comes in handy, after all, less than a year later when Dustin comes barreling into his life, bringing demodogs in his wake.

And a couple of years after that, when Steve actually has a moment to consider it, he almost wants to laugh. He’d had a bat in his hands again, and he hadn’t even had to think; he’d simply gathered all his strength and swung.

The fact that the bat had been a monster, rather than of the baseball variety, had apparently been irrelevant. Steve is well-trained by now; he knows what to do with bats.

At least, he’d thought he did.

But now, there’s a bat sitting on his pillow, and he’s at a loss.

It’s purple and black and fuzzy and stuffed – a little plush toy. Steve picks it up carefully, looking it over, and it looks back through green plastic eyes, giving Steve a little fang-toothed smile.

“Hey, Steve, have you– oh, you found him,” Eddie says, walking into the bedroom breaking into a grin has he finds Steve standing by the bed, still staring down at the bat.

“Yeah.” Steve says, looking up at Eddie with furrowed brows. “What’s it doing on my pillow, though?”

“He’s for you. Obviously,” Eddie teases. “Saw him at the store and it made me think of you, so I brought him home.”

This is clearing absolutely nothing up for Steve. “Why would this make you think of me?”

“Well,” Eddie says slowly, coming up beside Steve to sling an arm around his waist and pull him close, “you’re the man who handles the bats, right? So: a bat. For you. I thought he was cute.”

It is cute. Steve likes it, but he feels like maybe he shouldn’t. He hasn’t had a stuffed animal since he was maybe six or seven, when his dad had said that he was too old for them.

“What am I supposed to do with it?” Steve asks, the toy still cupped carefully between his palms.

“Hold him. Cherish him. Raise him as your own,” Eddie says, holding an entirely straight face for about five seconds before he’s smiling again, teasing Steve. “It’s a plushie, Steve, you don’t have to do anything with it. Just… enjoy having it.”

“Oh,” Steve says.

It’s a bat. Just for him to have. Something soft and sweet with no expectations attached.

And Steve guesses he can learn something new, when it comes to dealing with bats.

[artydonsgf]

Hey love💕 could u do an arthusband! fic??

hi sweets! i’m in the process of writing husband art but i didn’t wanna keep you waiting so i wrote out a headcanon list! i also included a small nsfw portion for my own delusional giggles, enjoy~

Art Donaldson as your Husband

- when yall start dating, it’s apparent that you’re his first real girlfriend

- he’s fooled around with people before but the eagerness of his kisses and how quickly your touch sends him over the edge makes it clear it was never serious

- you like it though, it’s cute how embarrassed he gets when you stare at him and call him handsome

- amazing bf, top tier communicator

- you discover early one that art does not play about you so he really tries his best to avoid any arguments that aren’t constructive

- extremely gooey and tells you that he wants to marry you in the future like a week into your relationship

- despite how good of a communicator he is, he also gets in his head very easily

- constantly worried that he’s somehow not enough for you and you’ll find someone better

- these worries die down pretty quickly but it sits in the back of his mind sometimes

- said i love you first and he said it after 6 months

- he later told you that he knew after a month but didn’t want to scare you away

- after a year of dating, he gives you a promise ring and swears that he’ll propose to you the moment you guys graduate

- two years in, you guys move in together

- six months later and true to his word, he gives you his grandmother’s ring while you’re both still in your caps and gowns

- the wedding happens quickly since neither of you wanted something big

- your wedding day is the best day of his life, something he tells you a million times throughout the day

- he cried like a baby when you walked down the aisle

- in all of your wedding photos, he’s looking at you like you are the center of the universe

- art settles into married life with ease

- in his mind, you guys have already been married since the moment you agreed to be his girlfriend

- sharing a last name with you is the best thing ever in his mind

- sometimes he’ll call you mrs donaldson just to hear you respond to it

- laughs into his hand when you respond but you already realized what he was doing forever ago

- a true romantic

- leaves flowers and other cute trinkets at your bedside table when he comes home from traveling for games

- he’ll be dead asleep beside you but you’ll always find a small bouquet, breakfast, and a souvenir from whatever town he passed through

- constantly thinks about you

- facetime warrior, he will call you at any time just to hear your voice

- if he’s lucky and you’re able to come with him to games, he spends any spare time curled up in your arms and ask you to just speak

- loves it when you run a hand through his hair, he’ll twist himself into an uncomfortable position if it means you’ll keep scratching his head

- the annoying guy who mentions his wife at any given moment

- “ah yes, my WIFE, also enjoys hiking”

- his idea of a date is dinner and cuddling the whole night

- seems to forget that he can kiss you whenever because he always asks if he can kiss you

- needs you like he needs air, bro is insane about you

- patrick knew about you before he even met you because art spoke about the beautiful girl with the kind eyes and sweet smile for a month before he actually asked you out

- bro was yearning like crazy

- his biggest issue is his jealousy

- starts plotting murder whenever a man speaks to you for too long

- or woman, he’s equal opportunity jealous

- ofc he doesn’t have to worry because you’re always quick to flash your ring and name drop him as your husband in convos

- he’s a very good husband who loves you an insane amount and makes sure to communicate that to you 24/7

NSFW

- legit will do anything you ask of him, so he’s very into experimenting

- your pleasure > his every time

- he enjoys oral but doesn’t really ask for it since he’d prefer to give

- submissive by nature and is happy to let you take charge

- only really dominant after a particularly tough day on the courts

- aftercare KING, he’ll get you cleaned up in two seconds flat so he can keep you in his arms for the rest of the night

- very needy in bed, he wants your constant attention

- total praise kink, he can hardly breathe when you tell him he’s doing a good job

- he had to learn how to control his pace because he used to come immediately

- despite his quickness at finishing, he has insane stamina and will keep you up the whole night

- it’s always you >>> any of his obligations

- more times than you can count, you’ve had to pry him off of you because he had important things to do the next day

- loves quickies

- likes it when you pull his hair

[anxiousnerdwritings]

y’all playing with the Bellatrix Lestrange meme 😂 we all know she’s taking a teaching job at Hogwarts to stay close

ain’t no way she’s gonna spend the next seven years only seeing her darling during summers and holiday breaks

Absolutely no doubt. First, can I say how much I love the idea of Professor!Bellatrix in general cause I do. So fucking much. She’ll be there at the train station causing the most dramatic/traumatizing scene ever only to apparate to Hogwarts and wait for her bby to arrive so she can happily greet them as if she hadn’t just got done seeing them off awhile ago. That, or she she’s riding the train with her bby all the way to Hogwarts. And you can bet, which ever option it is, it’ll be the same exact routine for the next six years.

Also, Yan!Mom!Professor!Bellatrix wholeheartedly plays favorites, she’s very open and blatant about it too. And her most favorite-est student is of course her bby, as if it could possibly be anyone else. You can bet the first few months of the school year, Bellatrix is escorting and overseeing her bby in their classes. And she’s watching like a hawk, scrutinizing everything the other professors do.

You can also bet Bellatrix is slippin’ her bby answers, both in her own class and the other ones as well. Like, I can imagine after all the countless times Bellatrix has been kicked out/banned from the other classrooms she finds ways to sneak in and help her bby out even if they don’t need it at all. Like, she’s just camped out on a banister like some kind of gargoyle watching everything or she’s outside the classroom peeking in from the window, sticking to the side of the castle like spiderman. Hell, she’d sneakin’ in just to slip her precious child some snacks or a spare quill just as an excuse to see and check on them. She knows her bby is well capable of getting through their classes on their own but Bellatrix can’t help her severe separation anxiety. Besides, she needs to know how the other professors and students are treating her bby when she isn’t around.

I can’t help but imagine Yan!mom!Bellatrix, Professor or not, if her child was on the quidditch team. I could see her starting out and coming off calm and collected when watching their first game only to become a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the whole thing. She’s a mess of excitement and nerves for her bby. She’s screaming and hollering for them, jumping with unabashed joy when they’re doing their thing. She and Narcissa are totally holding signs and representing the house colors of whatever house the Reader is in, same goes for Draco when he’s playing. Merlin forbid if Bellatrix’s bby gets hit with a bludger, she would need to be completely restrained from going off and cursing the player and their entire family. And when I say Bellatrix would hold a grudge against the student who did it, I mean it. She would make their life hell until they eventually graduated or transferred schools. Not to mention Draco and his posse are there to help too.

[goodqueenaly]

Revisiting Catelyn's chapter, and I've been finding the way that she reflects on her childhood in Riverrun (and while *at* Riverrun, watching over her dying father) rather interesting, in particular her relationship with Brandon. When Jaime speaks to her about his death, and she begins to tell him of how Brandon was on his way to Riverrun when he heard about Lyanna, she notes that "telling it still made her throat grow tight, after all these years." And later, after Jeyne comes to her for advice, we have this passage -- “Tell me what I should do. Catelyn might have asked the same, if her father had been well enough to ask. But Lord Hoster was gone, or near enough. Her Ned as well. Bran and Rickon too, and Mother, and Brandon so long ago. Only Robb remained to her, Robb and the fading hope of her daughters” -- where she counts Brandon as one of the people lost to her, along her mother, and children, and Ned.

What level of depth of feeling, of emotion do you think there was between Brandon and Catelyn during their betrothal (speaking from Catelyn's end of things)? I find these passages a bit curious and they seem to hint to me love, though her POVs also don't quite give us glimpses of any sort of emotional or physical intimacy between them (by physical I mean even something at the level of the kissing games she played with Lysa and Petyr)?

Thank you for taking the time to share your insights with us!

Catelyn was betrothed to Brandon for around five or six years during a significant portion of her young life. As the dutiful daughter of a House whose devotion to duty is literally reflected in its dynastic motto, Catelyn was raised even at 12 to “[thank] him [i.e. her father Hoster] for making her such a splendid match” when this betrothal occurred. While I doubt Catelyn and Brandon met very frequently during their betrothal period, his apparent companionship with Jeffory Mallister may suggest that Brandon traveled in the Riverlands in the years before his death, and consequently spent some time with his fiancée during this time; I doubt Brandon and Catelyn would have been left unchaperoned or allowed to engage in any remotely indecorous conduct, to be sure but these may have been opportunities for the two of them to exchange some courtly pleasantries. Brandon was also personally good-looking, wild in both rage and mirth in a way the young Catelyn clearly found attractive. 

Given all that, I’m not surprised that Catelyn would have developed some level of romantic feelings toward Brandon, and would have held onto those feelings for the rest of her life. Brandon had been her politico-dynastic destiny from the age of 12 until roughly about the age of 17 or 18, a man she had been encouraged to love as her future lord husband. Moreover, to Catelyn, Brandon may have seemed quite the catch - the handsome, dashing young knight or de facto knight, heir to a great castle and title, who dueled in her name for the honor of her hand. With Brandon dying young and tragically from Aerys II’s tyranny, Catelyn never had the chance to become disillusioned with Brandon’s infidelity (and almost certainly never knew of his sexual relationship with Barbrey or his potential bastards), or to have to manage his emotionality day to day; Brandon could remain idealized in Catelyn's mind as her first fiancé and love. 

Which is not to say, of course, that Catelyn never loved Ned. If neither Catelyn nor Ned had been raised to anticipate marrying the other, both understood the politico-military necessity of doing so during Robert’s Rebellion; more importantly, each also came to understand, appreciate, and ultimately love the other on a deeply personal level. Catelyn might have always remembered Brandon, but Ned was "her Ned", her husband, "the man I loved, the father of my children".

[chbnews]

WEEKLY NEWS 4/20/25-4/27/25

Join the CHB News Discord!

Camp Announcements:

- Happy Easter for all the campers who celebrate! Even if you don’t, some of the Demeter, Dionysus, and Athena kids have arranged an egg scavenger hunt! Some eggs have drachma, cash, and other cool things inside- as well as candy from the mortal world! Have fun! (Please remember to play fairly, some of those eggs are in some really weird places..)

- Chiron has asked us to inform everyone that there might be a night of rain while he works with Dionysus to readjust the barrier. He also asks for campers to remain in camp during this time.

- Cabin Summer Games Championship sign ups are opening on Wednesday! One camper from each cabin can sign up for the different activities during the week-long even in June! (I will not be participating in this, but I am a referee. Also, I won’t be accepting bribes.)

- The alert about a Sphinx in the woods was investigated and revealed that there was no Sphinx, it was simply spell practice from some of the Hecate kids.

Camper Updates:

- The Poseidon camper that was injured in the arts and crafts incident is now cleared to join back in camp activities!

- Nyssa Barrera and Miranda Gardiner (spelled Gardener in the original draft?) are working on building a greenhouse so that we can grow new herbs, fruits, and veggies here at camp!

- Tyson the Cyclops is visiting camp this week! If you see him around, don’t be alarmed! He’s very friendly!

- Felix Pearce from the Nemesis Cabin has finally departed from camp after a whopping SIX years of being here! Good luck, Felix!

Game Winnings:

- A few campers banded together to create a one-on-one sparring bracket. The winner was Maxwell Vance from the Ares cabin! He won a brand new sword from the Hephaestus cabin!

- The Hephaestus Cabin took the win in the Chariot Race! (Will had a lot of overtime in the medical wing following that chariot race, but no deaths… this time.)

- A small group of campers held some Pegasus races. The winner was Arlo (Hebe Cabin) with their Pegasus, Artax. (… I just watched the never ending story. Please don’t let that poor Pegasus near a swamp.)

- Blade Sparring tournament sign ups are open! So far Lukas Fraust (Zeus Cabin) is holding the crown!

Upcoming Events:

- “Lightning Strikes and Sky Etiquette” hosted by the Zeus Cabin, Sunday night in the Cabin Green.

- “Illusions vs. Reality” hosted by the Hecate Cabin, Monday afternoon at the Beach.

- “DIY: Shieldmaking” hosted by the Hephaestus Cabin, Monday afternoon in the Forges.

- “Water Combat Tactics” hosted by the Poseidon and Athena Cabins, Tuesday afternoon at the Canoe Lake

- “Poisonous Plants and Monster Antidotes” hosted by the Demeter Cabin, Tuesday evening at the Big House. (Just hope you won’t be turned into a corn plant. Or any plant. It’s not fun.)

- “Battlefield Chess: Strategical Moves for Combat” hosted by the Athena Cabin, Wednesday morning in the Arena.

- “Dress It Like You Mean It!” hosted by the Aphrodite Cabin, Wednesday evening in the Amphitheater.

- “Basic First Aid for the Adventerous” hosted by the Apollo Cabin, Thursday afternoon in the Big House. (Will asks me to urge you all to come to this.)

- “Faux-lympus: The Trojan War” hosted by the Apollo and Dionysus Cabins, Friday Night in the Amphitheater.

Camp Gossip:

- Apparently some Iris messages are being interrupted by weird koi fish. (We don’t know if it’s a camper or Iris just messing with everyone. It’s fun t though. )

- The Hermes Cabin has been uncharacteristically quiet, and we like to think it’s because one of them is harboring a pet. (We all know it’s Roman with that raccoon he nonchalantly mentioned at dinner four days ago.)

- Connor and Travis are accused of swapping out the camp dessert of cherry and strawberry jello with red pepper jello.

- An unnamed Aphrodite kid said that the Poseidon cabin has.. apparently been moving rocks around as some sort of “building Atlantis” project?

- Despite getting into an argument, an Aphrodite and a Hermes kid have been seen together at the canoe lake.

Weekly Question:

What is your favorite color? (Doesn’t have to just be like red, or green. Can be something wildly out there like Mountain Dew Baja Blast teal)

Last Week’s Question:

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what TWO things would you bring with you?

Camper Answers:

“Probably seeds and neverending water” - Tyler Rosemary

“Neverending sunscreen and a music player that never runs out of battery” - Lyric Kennedy

Thank you to Nico di Angelo for helping with this week’s news!

[strawberrypinky]

the winner takes it all [rook x lucanis dellamorte] - pt. 1

Somewhere in the depths of her heart, she clung to the hope that whatever her grandson felt for the girl was nothing more than camaraderie and deep gratitude for having rescued him from the Ossuary; that she, at best, was nothing more than a dalliance.  Her hopes were thwarted when Lucanis brought her home for the first time after the gods had been vanquished.

Or; Six months after the defeat of the Evanuris, Lucanis decides to properly introduce Rook to Caterina and it turns into another episode of the telenovela that is Lucanis' life.

A/N: So I had initially resolved to not write anything for Dragon Age, mostly because I haven't played any games in the series until Veilguard (and I have beef with the game on several layers bc that was massively wasted potential); however, a rewatch of Crazy Rich Asians got me to reconsider, because I am convinced a non-Crow Rook and Caterina would be exactly like Eleanor and Rachel.

Some people on here agreed with me and this three part series was born as a result. I still don't know how to feel but either way, I hope this is a fun little read <3

Tagging @if-youre-not-a-dog-then-leave bc I promised them like two weeks ago I would when I finished this.

Word Count: 5.3K

Part One ❀ Part Two ❀ Part Three

Read on AO3

Caterina had long suspected that Lucanis might harbour more… familiar feelings for the young woman who had aptly introduced herself as "Rook" nearly a year prior. The elf had, quite frankly, been nothing short of a disaster when Teia first introduced them. She was small and slight, with large protruding bat ears that peaked through her long dark brown hair, tousled and frayed, wide and unsettling purple eyes against ashen skin and clothes so frumpy that Caterina, for a brief, scandalous moment, thought if the Cantori Diamond had seen fit to let a beggar roam its halls.

She had twitched and squirmed in front of the Talons, decidedly uncomfortable in a room full of assassins, clearing her throat far more often than necessary of a healthy person, cheeks reddening with each passing second and a voice that bordered on squeaky when she inquired to know more about the Demon of Vyranthium . If that all hadn't been enough to add insult to injury, the young mage had apparently interrupted a strange ritual, unleashing two ancient and blighted mages onto Thedas instead of stopping the one she had been after for months. And while Caterina could appreciate that the disruption of the ritual had resulted in her uncovering the whereabouts of her grandson, she could only sneer disdainfully at the sheer stupidity. 

In short, Caterina disliked her immediately.

While she could appreciate the young woman's candour and, yes, even her rather apparent abilities, which had somehow managed to bring Lucanis back to her, she still did not like her. The second time she had met her Rook had at least been much more presentable, clad in a fine, mulberry-coloured mage robe, swiftly blending into the shadows as they infiltrated Illario's sham of a celebration on his failed ascension to the station of First Talon. Her hair had no longer been wild and untamed but put up in intricate braids, the ugly big ears full on display, and her purple eyes, while still unsettling, were decently beautiful when she actually accentuated them with kohl and shimmering powders. When she and Lucanis had finally bested Illario (and Caterina had to admit - the woman fought well) and Caterina named him First Talon, she had expected Lucanis to swiftly decide upon his cousins' fate and simply imprison Illario after humiliating him and denying him an honourable death. Yet instead, he hesitated , looking to the elf for guidance as if she had a single clue to the intricacies of Crow politics or the tenuous and frankly fragile position the Dellamortes had long found themselves in.

"Enough, Illario," Caterina pointedly said. "Lucanis is First Talon now. Whatever his decision, it will stand."

She could perceive a small gasp from her left, Andrateia and that Rook woman looking at her with equal amounts of astonishment and incertitude. Caterina's eyes searched those of her grandson – a man who, after the torture he had been put through at the hands of his quasi-brother, was both hauntingly familiar and aberrantly not, only stood there with his mouth and eyes wide open, as if not quite believing the words she had just spoken himself. "But I –"he only managed to utter, shaking his head, before his gaze wandered to the Necromancer. "Rook, after all of this, what –". 

Whatever Rook saw in Lucanis' eyes that day, Caterina would never entirely understand. She could only watch as the young elf's eyes softened, overfilling with unwelcome warmth and kindness, before she strode across the room and took her hands in Lucanis', her fingers tracing gentle lines into his calloused hands. It was a vile display of unnecessary leniency, an antithesis to everything Crows were, and yet Lucanis had listened when she had suggested simply giving Illario a second chance.

"There is always a chance to begin again," she had uttered cryptically that day, a gentle smile on her lips. 

And he had listened . 

It had unnerved Caterina more than she cared to admit that Lucanis had listened to a mere girl - that he had shown mercy when mercy was the furthest thing Illario deserved and House Dellamorte needed - but before she had any chance to speak to the elven woman, the pair had absconded with the human mage they had brought along, and Caterina did not see "Rook" again until the blighted gods had been vanquished. She had, however, heard of rumours – wagging tongues speaking in hushed tones of Lucanis being accompanied by a young woman in the streets of Treviso, yet whenever Caterina did try to catch them, neither could be found. At least not together. Since his return and subsequent rise to First Talon, Lucanis had received countless marriage contracts, some of them Caterina would have greatly approved of, yet whenever she brought it up, Lucanis only waved her off before he absconded to various places all over Thedas. 

It was then she finally asked Teia about the girl.

"What do you know of her?" Caterina had asked her late one night, eyebrow raised inquisitively.

The Seventh Talon only looked befuddled. "I'm sorry?"

"That girl," Caterina clarified. "Rook. What do you know of her?" 

"Not much," Teia shrugged, absentmindedly nipping on her wine. "A capable mage, even if her necromancy is rather strange. She did a beautiful job ridding Treviso of the Antaam and the blighted Dragon, though." 

"Yes, I'm sure she is quite the luminary," Caterina flippantly replied. "But what do you know of her ?"

"She is Nevarran - a Mourn Watcher," Teia relented. "A bit eccentric and strange, perhaps, but she is a kind woman. The Crows haven't forgotten all she has done for the good of Treviso. Her name is certainly quite popular with the Fledgelings." 

Caterina had barely held back her scoff. If Fledglings liking someone was the standard required for the wife of a Dellamorte their house would not live to see another day. Not that she would ever allow Lucanis to marry an Elf in the first place, lest House Dellamorte is further sullied by mere half-breeds – the demon living inside Lucanis was more than enough and his position within tenuous as is. Somewhere in the depths of her heart, she clung to the hope that whatever her grandson felt for the girl was nothing more than camaraderie and deep gratitude for having rescued him from the Ossuary; that she, at best, was nothing more than a dalliance. Having seen the woman properly dressed, she could acquiesce that she, aside from the bat ears and strangely purple eyes, was quite beautiful, and if rumours of several Crows preferring elven whores rang true, Caterina could suppose she might be nice to bed too. But that was all she could ever be. Had to be if House Dellamorte wanted to survive.

Her hopes were thwarted when Lucanis brought her home for the first time after the gods had been vanquished.

"Are you sure I look decent?" Wilhelmina, or Rook, as her companions had called her, asked, turning to face Lucanis as she fastened the necklace around her neck, letting the pendant fall to her collarbones as the dark green silk sat against her pale skin. 

He only smiled, his hands placing themselves on her hips before he placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head. "You put the stars to shame."

"I'm serious, Lucanis," Wilhelmina grumbled, turning back to face the mirror as she fretted over her hair. "I'd rather not disgrace myself in front of your grandmother. I know you value her opinion."

"So am I," the assassin smiled. "Don't worry, Rook. She will love you." 

Wilhelmina smoothed the folds of her robes one final time, her hands trembling slightly. The dark green fabric shimmered faintly in the soft candlelight of her room, casting her pale complexion in warm tones. Lucanis's presence was reassuring, but the knot in her stomach refused to unravel, so she took a steadying breath before glancing at Lucanis through the mirror.

"You say that," she murmured, "but you and I both know she'll have certain… expectations."

"You saved the entirety of Thedas," Lucanis mumbled, wrapping his arms around her in a comforting manner before staring into her eyes through the mirror. "I think you far exceed any expectations anyone might have." 

Her cheeks flushed faintly, but she managed a small smile. "You're too good with words. I'm starting to think you missed your calling as a bard."

Lucanis laughed, shaking his head. "I think you have me confused with Illario. Come. I'm sure the two of you will get along well." 

He led her outside her room, walking into the sitting room of the Nevarran home she shared with her skeleton brother and adoptive father. The man sat at the fireplace, his eyes focused on a book.

Curiosity. Where. Is it?

Spite's familiar voice rang through the room; Emmrich's attention was now diverted as she saw the couple emerge from Wilhelmina's room. Lucanis groaned – he had no idea why Spite adored Manfred so much, to the point where the two could potentially even be called friends. If a demon and a wisp animating a skeleton could even be called that. For the longest time, Manfred had largely unsettled Lucanis, a skeleton walking around beyond his killing expertise. He still wondered if he could even kill Manfred, even if he no longer found him unsettling but rather… endearing. "Spite, enough," he grumbled audibly. "We have places to be."

"Manfred is with some apprentices, Spite," Emmrich chuckled, standing up from his seat and walking over to the two of them. "But you are free to visit him whenever Lucanis has time."

Meet. Curiosity. Tomorrow!

"Spite," Lucanis groaned again, hearing Wilhelmina giggle to his right. "Emmrich, please don't encourage him. He'll overstay his welcome."

"You are both always welcome here, Lucanis," the Professor smiled kindly. 

Lucanis could not help the slight reddening of his cheeks, quickly clearing his throat and uttering a "Thank you, Emmrich". He was still not used to the welcoming attitude of the Volkarin family, so vastly different from the affable reclusiveness of his own, though no less tightly-knit. It had been strange to seek Wilhelmina's affection with her father so close by, not at all helped by the fact that the man, much like his daughter, could hear Spite and the demons less than appropriate thoughts at all times. But, to Lucanis' colossal surprise, the Professor had only smiled and wished them well – something he never once took for granted.

Wilhelmina's soft laughter echoed between them as she patted Lucanis's arm. "Don't be so hard on Spite. You know he's just curious."

Lucanis sighed, though his lips twitched into a reluctant smile. He still wondered how he had gotten lucky enough to find a woman who loved and accepted him despite being an abomination. "Well then. We should really get going. Caterina doesn't really appreciate waiting for her dinner."

Wilhelmina turned to Emmrich then, her expression a mixture of affection and nervousness. "I'll be back before long, I promise."

"Take your time, my dear Mina. You aren't on duty until midday tomorrow," Emmrich told his daughter with a warm smile. "You look beautiful, by the way."

Wilhelmina only smiled gratefully, briefly hugging him before being led outside and towards the Eluvian that would take them to Treviso.

When they emerged from the Eluvian, the warm winds of Treviso caressed their skin, and the city sprawled itself in front of them, bathed in golden light as the sun was beginning to set on the horizon. Lucanis looked over at her, watching as Wilhelmina briefly closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth on her skin. 

Pretty.

Spite commented in his head, and Lucanis readily agreed. While he knew Wilhelmina was entirely at home in the Grand Necropolis' dim lightening, where her beauty was hauntingly enchanting and her entire being glowed , there was something about her in the warmth of Treviso's sunlight – something gentle and ethereal. His heart clenched as he imagined her bathed in the warm sunlight each and every morning, eyes closed as she was still sleeping, and he simply watched her pale skin being kissed by streams of gold. Lucanis could only hope she would be amenable to live in Treviso with him; that returning to her work, should she wish to continue it, would be enough through the Eluvians but that Antiva could be her home, much like it was his. To sleep without her in his arms most nights had been an agony he didn't come to expect, not after she had laid in his arms every night since his ascension to First Talon, except for the tormenting weeks she had spent trapped in the Fade. It had been easy enough to pretend the world wasn't ending, those fleeting moments a momentary reprieve as the elven gods consistently loomed over them. When they had miraculously survived, and a return to their lives was imminent, Lucanis had rather quickly decided he did not want to be without her much longer. 

He had given themselves six months - six months in which she had aided the initial efforts to restore Minrathous before returning to the Grand Necropolis and resuming her duties as a Watcher. Six months, in which he had begun to lead the Crows as First Talon, casting the remains of the Antaam invasion out of his home for good. Within those six months, Caterina had more than once approached him with the myriad of marriage contracts House Dellamorte had received, his grandmother seemingly itching to marry him off and potentially see her great-grandchildren born, but he had spurned her time and time again, wishing to properly introduce the only woman he would ever when he felt it was time. 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Lucanis silently took Wilhelmina's hand in his, leading her towards his home as they journeyed through Treviso's sunlit streets. It was quiet, at first, a comfortable silence as they enjoyed simply being together without the threat of the world ending looming over them. It had barely been six months since they had defeated the Evanuris, but rebuilding efforts had been well underway, and Treviso was now looking more and more like the home he had grown up in. The occasional passerby cast curious glances at the pair, though most recognised the Heroes of the Veilguard, neither Wilhelmina in her flowing green robes nor Lucanis in his deep purple ensemble blending into the warm and earthy tones of the city. 

"Are you alright, Cariña ?" Lucanis asked, breaking the silence as they approached the Dellamorte estate. 

Wilhelmina only sighed, offering him a nervous smile before nodding. Lucanis squeezed her hand in reassurance before walking through the gates with her, the spires rising like dark sentinels against the warm glow of the setting sun, casting long shadows across the courtyard. As they stepped inside, the atmosphere shifted. The cool, polished stone of the entry hall gleamed under the light of hanging candelabras, their flames dancing in gilded sconces. Servants moved with quiet precision, their footsteps muted against the intricate mosaic floors. The grand dining room loomed ahead, its heavy oak doors guarded by two Crows in full regalia. They stepped aside in perfect unison, opening the doors to reveal a room bathed in golden light. Lucanis could feel Wilhelmina stiffening beside him as she took a final steadying breath before accompanying him inside. 

The long table was set with delicate porcelain and shining silverware, its centrepiece a towering arrangement of white lilies and deep crimson roses. At the head of the table sat Caterina, her posture impeccable, her gaze sharp as a blade, and Illario was, for whatever reason, right beside her.

She rose gracefully as they entered. "Lucanis, my boy," she greeted him sweetly, embracing him before her eyes locked onto Eurydice with her piercing eyes and a gaze that felt like a thousand judgments wrapped into one. In the corner of his eyes, Lucanis could spot Illario standing up to greet them. "I wasn't aware we were expecting company tonight." 

"Caterina," Lucanis nodded. "May I introduce Wilhelmina Volkarin to you?" He gently pulled her forward, a slight tremble in her hands that immediately ceased.

"It is an honour to see you again, Lady Dellamorte," Wilhelmina smiled, reaching out her hand to shake it. "You look well."

Caterina only narrowed her eyes, tilting her head as her lips curled into a smile that did not reach her eyes, which only briefly acknowledged her outstretched hand, though she made no move to take it, her hands clinging to her cane instead. " Wilhelmina , is it?" She asked pointedly. "I was under the assumption that your name was Rook." 

"That is only a… sobriquet, Signora," she gulped, her hand retreating awkwardly. 

Before either woman could say another word, Illario sashayed over, his usual flirting smile on his face as he embraced Wilhelmina with a big hug. Lucanis narrowed his eyes as Illario pressed kisses against her cheeks, greeting her overzealously with the usual sleaziness that had enabled him to bed countless women over the years. "Rook," he drawled, holding her at arm's length. "Aren't you a sight to behold? My cousin does have taste, after all."

"Illario," Lucanis growled in warning, eyes briefly flashing purple as Spite's own displeasure became apparent, stepping between the two as Wilhelmina's cheeks grew warm, and she instinctively stepped closer to Lucanis, who didn't miss Caterina's eyes narrowing further. 

"It is… nice to see you again, Illario," she nodded, biting her lip as she looked at Lucanis. 

Illario smirked. "Pleasure is all mine," the disgraced Dellamorte purred as he watched what was sure to turn into a spectacle.

The disdain was practically written on Caterina's face as Lucanis pulled Wilhelmina towards the dining table, pulling out her chair before seating himself next to her, across from Caterina. They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds, waiting for the food to be brought out, though nobody could mistake the critical gaze of Caterina, passing her eyes over her like a cannibal viewing his dinner, melting the flesh off her bones with devouring curiosity. 

Lucanis could see plainly the discomfort written on his love's face, her posture taut and breath slightly uneven. Smells scared, Spite grumbled in Lucanis' mind, and the man could only watch with growing uncertainty; Caterina's eyes would not stray from Wilhelmina's form, the glare in her eyes so famous that it had brought countless adversaries to heel. From the corner of his eye, Lucanis could glimpse his cousin sardonically sipping on his wine, leaning back into his chair as he watched his own grandmother tear the famed Hero of the Veilguard into pieces without so much as uttering a word.

Her gaze did not even avert when the servants brought the food, Mazzarelle , though Lucanis had ensured Wilhelmina would receive a vegetarian option instead. Caterina eyed the caponata in front of Wilhelmina suspiciously, though she remained quiet until the servants had left the dining room, and the quartet sat in tense silence until Illario broke it first.

"Caponata?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Is there a reason you aren't eating Mazzarelle like the rest of us, Rook?"

Wilhelmina cleared her throat. "I am vegetarian, actually."

Caterina hummed. "How Nevarran."

"I suppose vegetarianism isn't common here, then?" Wilhelmina asked politely, picking up her fork to begin eating.

"Not at all," Illario shook his head. "Though I suppose my cousin has always attended to your dietary needs most dutifully, as he usually does. Romantic, isn't it?"

Lucanis choked on his food, glaring at Illario, who only smirked at him in return. Wilhelmina smiled brightly. "If the restoration efforts of Minrathous and my work with the Mourn Watch hadn't kept me so busy, I'd be bursting at the seams already."

"Lucanis cooks for you often, then?" Caterina asked, a sharp edge to her tone, her eyes now focused on her grandson.

Wilhelmina nodded enthusiastically, swallowing a piece of aubergine. "Oh, yes. He also cooked for all of us back when we all lived in the Lighthouse. We were quite spoiled by the end of it."

Caterina exhaled through her nose, a slow, measured sound as she tapped her fingers lightly against the polished surface of the table. "How domestic," she mused, her voice silk-hiding steel, before she took a bite of her own food.

Wilhelmina smiled politely, but Lucanis could feel her fingers twitch in her lap. He placed his hand over hers beneath the table, grounding her and offering a comforting but warm smile.

Caterina's gaze remained locked onto Wilhelmina, an analytical glint in her eye as though she were attempting to pick her apart piece by piece. "And tell me, Wilhelmina ," she said, deliberately enunciating each syllable, "do you plan to linger here in Antiva much longer? I heard you were with the Mourn Watch. I can only suppose your duty binds you to Nevarra."

Wilhelmina swallowed the bite she had just taken, looking over to Lucanis briefly, who could only raise his eyebrows at Caterina's strange line of questioning. Surely she must have understood why he had brought a woman home? "I do attend to my duties in the Grand Necropolis," she eventually answered carefully. "However, the Eluvian network allows for... easy travel between our nations." Her fingers curled slightly against Lucanis' palm as though reassuring herself of his presence.

"Those elven mirrors you restored?" Caterina echoed, her expression unreadable.

Wilhelmina inclined her head. "Yes, the network has proven invaluable in our efforts, and the Veilguard has continued to use it even after the Evanuris were defeated."

Caterina hummed, idly twirling the stem of her wine goblet between her fingers. "How fortunate, then, that you need not choose between your obligations and your… personal indulgences." Her gaze flickered pointedly to Lucanis, and though her words were perfectly polite, their weight settled over the table like a drawn blade.

Lucanis, feeling the familiar bite of his grandmother's scrutiny, kept his expression impassive. "It definitely helps," he said simply, his voice carrying a faux easy confidence.

Illario, ever the opportunist, smirked. "Oh, cousin, you make it sound so simple. Balancing love and duty - why, the First Talon certainly doesn't squander any opportunity." He raised his goblet in a mock toast, his grin positively wicked. "I did not think you were so capable."

The corners of Caterina's mouth twitched, though whether it was amusement or something colder was impossible to tell, even to Lucanis, who thought he had long figured her moods out. Caterina took another slow sip of wine before speaking again. "And tell me, Wilhelmina - how exactly did you end up fighting elven gods?" Her voice was soft, but the question was anything but. "I hear most Mourn Watchers never truly depart Nevarra."

Lucanis felt Wilhelmina stiffen just slightly beside him. "I ah," she cleared her throat, gently placing down her fork. "I made some unpopular decisions during a civil war that broke out between some undead nobility. My superiors thought it best for me to travel a while so that the noble houses could... calm down a little."  

"Ah," Caterina acknowledged, her eyes narrowing. "So I can suppose you do not belong to any of the noble houses then."

Wilhelmina snorted, a laugh bubbling up in her throat. Lucanis couldn't suppress his own flicker of amusement, knowing just how much both Wilhelmina and her father disliked Nevarran nobility. "Maker, no. There was a brief dispute when I was found if I held any claim to the Ingellvar estate, or rather what remained of it but -"

"Found?" Caterina interrupted her with a raised eyebrow.

Wilhelmina hesitated for only a fraction of a second, but it was enough. Caterina had caught it, and from the way her lips curled ever so slightly, she knew it too. "Yes," she eventually admitted. "I was found in the Ingellvar crypts as a newborn."

"So you are likely a bastard child of a noble family then," Caterina pursed her lip.

"Caterina," Lucanis hissed, horrified at her statement. Wilhelmina only offered her a wan smile.

"Not quite," she shook her head. "The last of the Ingellvar family died during the Storm Age, and they had no known heirs nor any elves amongst their line. Their crypts have long been in disrepair and rather deep inside the Necropolis. There is no way for a mere visitor to have placed me there, and the Watch had no female elves of childbearing age at the time of my birth."

Illario let out a low whistle, shaking his head with a grin. "A woman of mystery then. Cousin, if I did not respect you, I might seek to unravel the mystery myself."

Lucanis growled then, his eyes flashing dangerously purple as Spite almost screamed at him in the back of his mind. " Por la sangre del Hacedor, Illario."

Illario only chuckled, utterly unbothered by Lucanis' warning glare. "Come now, cousin," he said, swirling his wine lazily. "Can you blame me for being intrigued? A girl found amongst the crypts turned hero. It's practically a bard's tale waiting to be told."

"Nothing quite so spectacular," Wilhelmina smiled. "My father found me after two spirits alerted him to my appearance. He took me in as his ward shortly after and raised me as his own. I led an ordinary, if slightly erudite, life for the most part. What happened with the Evanuris was... an unfortunate coincidence at best. I certainly never strived for something as grand as taking down elven gods."

"I would rather say it was a very fortunate coincidence," Lucanis chuckled fondly, delighting in the small blush that spread along her cheeks.

Caterina hummed, tapping a single finger against the stem of her goblet. "And did you ever find out who left you down there?"

"No, signora," Wilhelmina shook her head, diverting her attention back to the former First Talon. "The Mourn Watch came up with some theories over the years, but in the end, it never mattered to me. My father was all the family I have ever needed."

Caterina exhaled slowly, setting down her goblet with a deliberate motion. "How touching," she murmured, her gaze settling on Wilhelmina like a weight.

Lucanis knew that tone - he knew it far too well. It was the same one she used when dealing with unruly subordinates, with men and women who mistook her age for fragility. It was not approval, nor was it outright rejection. It was quiet disapproval, sharp and restrained, waiting for the right moment to become something more. He could only watch as Wilhelmina inclined her head, gaze questioning as she waited for Caterina to continue the conversation, but his grandmother only continued eating in silence, the conversation clearly over.

The remainder of the evening had been awkward at best and torturous at worst. Illario had largely steered any conversation afterwards, entirely ignoring his grandmothers' scathing glares in favour of interrogating Wilhelmina, though the young Watcher found herself strangely enjoying the disgraced Dellamorte's presence. While she had not forgiven him for what he had done to Lucanis and all he'd been willing to do to become First Talon, she had also come to understand his reason why and that, truthfully, Illario's and Lucanis' grandmother had all but set her own grandsons up for failure.  

Wilhelmina could not claim to fully understand the Crows, their hierarchies and houses and inner works largely foreign to her, even if she had come to understand some of it throughout working with them to defeat the Evanuris. Lucanis had told her precious little about them, preferring to keep his work mostly separate from their personal lives, and what little he had told her of his childhood mainly horrified her. She could not fathom why a grandmother would abuse what little had been left of her family, let alone pit the quasi-brothers against one another by always preferring the child that had come from her favourite daughter, leaving the other to clamour for any scraps of attention – no matter if good or bad. But she had understood that all Illario essentially wanted was to be enough – and Wilhelmina could not, would not , fault him for that.

When dinner had concluded, Caterina had sent Illario off, the suave Dellamorte bidding Wilhelmina goodbye with a broad smile and a "Come back soon" before eventually seeing Lucanis and Wilhelmina out herself. As they reached the foyer, Caterina mumbled something in Antivan Wilhelmina couldn't quite make out, her grasp of the language still novice as Lucanis aided her studying in what little spare time they had. Lucanis nodded, turning back to Wilhelmina with a strained smile.

"I'll be back in a second, Cariña," before hurrying off to a different wing, leaving the two women on their own.

Wilhelmina shifted uncomfortably as Caterina's gaze bored in on here, eyes scrutinising in the same fashion they had before dinner. "You have a beautiful home," she broke the silence awkwardly, clearing her throat.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Caterina hummed, unimpressed, her grip tightening on her cane. "Though I did not invite you here to hear your flattery nor to entertain Lucanis' fantasies of rebellion."

"Rebellion?" Wilhelmina's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Caterina tilted her head, her expression carefully neutral. "He has always been far too sentimental for his own good, but I have been able to instil duty in him well enough. I can only wonder what you must have done to make him act so recklessly. Tell me, girl. Have you regaled him with fantasies of everlasting love? Or are you simply that good of a fuck? I suppose it was only a matter of time until he succumbed to more... baser desires. He has been changed since that demon has been forced onto him. Perhaps you control that thing."

Wilhelmina's mouth fell open, her mind racing. "I did nothing but love him. Both of them. And I cannot control Spite anymore than I can control the weather."

"You mistake passion for love, my dear child," Caterina’s lips curled into something that was not quite a smile, her tone dismissive. "I have spent Lucanis' entire life preparing him to bear the burden of this family. It is his duty. Do not mistake Lucanis’ affections for permanence. He has always been too soft-hearted for his own good. One day, he will see sense, as that is what I have raised him for."

"And what sense do you suppose he'll see?"

Caterina sighed as if speaking to a stubborn child, giving her a long, slow look. Then she reached out, placing a single gloved finger beneath Wilhelmina's chin, tilting it just so. "I can almost see what he sees in you. You're young, quite beautiful for a knife-ear, and you have done admirably well in your fight against the gods. But hear me when I say this." She stepped closer, now holding Wilhelmina's chin between her fragile hand, the elder woman looking down into her eyes. "You, dear child, are nothing. You carry no name. No legacy. Not even the dignity of a proper birth. A death mage that was discarded in the dark until someone decided to claim you out of misplaced pity. You are a passing fancy - a crypt child. Nothing more."

Wilhelmina's eyes only widened, her heart aching as each cruel word seeped into her skin, before Caterina dropped her hand, stepping back and smoothing an invisible crease in her gown. The silence stretched between them, heavy and unyielding, before the sound of footsteps echoed from the hall, and both women turned as Lucanis reappeared, his easy smile faltering slightly at the tension still thick in the air.

"Everything alright?" he asked, his gaze flickering between them.

Wilhelmina offered him a small smile. "Of course."

Caterina only nodded, her expression once more a perfect mask of quiet dignity. "Of course."

But as Lucanis took Wilhelmina’s hand and led her toward the door, she could feel Caterina's gaze lingering, sharp as a dagger’s edge, watching, waiting.

"What did she say to you?" Lucanis whispered as he led her through the streets.

Wilhelmina only offered him a strained smile. "Nothing."

She could tell he did not believe her.

[fyonahmacnally]

Watching Her

Kara stares at the blank screen in front of her. She’s been sitting at her dining room table for what feels like days. She needs to be writing her article, but it seems her brain has other plans. Instead, she’s trying to string together the words that have plagued her mind for months. Well, plaguing her for years really, if she’s being honest. 

Plus, lately there’s this urgent need to explain to her raven haired goddess of a best friend how much she means to the hero. Every time Kara thinks she can speak it aloud, the words get stuck in her throat. So, she thought she’d write them instead. Apparently that’s not working either since she’s been staring at her screen for Rao knows how long. No article and no words for Lena. She’s come up short either way. Since the genius woman left for Newfoundland a few days ago, the blonde hasn’t been able to think of much else. 

Just Lena. Always Lena.

Her time in the Phantom Zone was wrought with the fear of never seeing those mesmerizing bi-colored eyes or touching soft porcelain skin again. Their relationship has weathered storms most married couples haven’t faced. A sentiment that forces her thoughts down a path she’s skillfully avoided for years. Kara knows they reconciled and have swapped both apologies and forgiveness, but she’s still not sure where they stand. What they are. Friends? Yes, but there’s always been more. Unfortunately, dealing with the madness surrounding Lex and Nyxly hasn’t given them much time to sort through things. To truly talk.

There are countless things Kara wants to say. While in the Phantom Zone, she relived almost every moment of her relationship with Lena. The worst of things played out before her on most occasions, but the visions also allowed her subconscious to say things she’s always been too cowardly to say. As much as being there sucked, it also gave her insight into how much is still unsaid between them. Insight into where her true home lies. Who is her perfect partner at game night. 

It’s Lena. It has always been Lena.

She shakes her head with a sigh. The cursor on her screen mocks her. This is what happens every time she tries to put words on the page. Her thoughts instantly drift to Lena and all the words she’s choked back or refused to speak. Then a smile drifts across her lips, thoughts of how close she came to kissing the raven haired goddess. Right there in the middle of the tower when she first greeted Lena. If it hadn’t been for Alex and everyone else in the room, she might have. 

No, she’s sure she would have.

“Rao, stop it Kara!” She mutters to herself, slapping her forehead to punctuate her point. “You have an article to write. Even if it is a fluff piece for Andrea.”

Rolling her eyes at the thought of her boss, she straightens her spine, stretches her arms in front of her, shakes them out, and settles back in to write. 

A few hours later, Kara realizes she’s been writing a stream of consciousness. Her once blank document is filled with words. It’s great that she was able to get so many words on the page, but it’s absolutely, 100% not related to the article she needs to write for her deadline. A deadline two days from now. 

Nope. 

Every single word is related to Lena. 

Kara drops her chin to her chest, blowing out a breath of frustration before sitting back in her chair and dragging her hands down her face. “Okay, I guess I should read through this mess of thoughts. Maybe it will give me something for Lena.”

As her eyes rove over the page, drinking in the words she has written, Kara feels her body grow warm. Before her, on the laptop screen, sits the words she’s been looking for. The combination of things she’s longed to share with her best friend for the better part of six years. Sure, she’s going to have to edit some things and polish it up. However, she’s confident she finally has the words she wants to share. 

Lena comes back early. Kara isn’t sure why, but her raven haired friend doesn’t seem open to talking about it. She can tell something is on Lena’s mind though. The woman’s behavior certainly derails Kara’s plan to give Lena the journal/letter she wrote. 

Just another delay. Such is the life they live. The life of a hero.

They make plans to hangout together. Kara invites Lena to her loft to catch up and eat pie. Because…pie! 

The blonde watches her, drinking in her profile. Strong, sharp jawline. Soft, pouty lips. Perfectly manicured brows, vibrant porcelain skin, and shiny ebony locks cascading down her back, a few strands hanging over her shoulder and resting on her collarbone. Lena is without a doubt the most beautiful person Kara has ever seen, across any and all planets she’s been on. This woman captivates her, steals her breath, and owns her heart. 

She must get lost in her observation because the next thing she feels is a soft hand on her forearm breaking her from her trance.

“Kara?” Lena practically whispers, squeezing the hero’s forearm. “Darling, are you okay?”

She clears her throat, her embarrassment no doubt on display across her cheeks, spreading onto her ears. “Umm, yeah. F-Fine.”

Lena cocks her head to the side, patented eyebrow raise in place. “Want to try again? I know you didn’t catch what I said because you undoubtedly would have responded.” She releases the blonde’s forearm before shifting to face her. “Now, tell me what’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours.”

A long, shaky sigh makes its way out of Kara’s mouth. She is unquestionably not going to admit what currently has her distracted. Which means she needs to come up with something that is close to the truth, but doesn’t force her to admit her feelings. Not yet.

“I just, well, I missed you.” She reaches up to adjust glasses that aren’t there before diverting her hand to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. “There’s so much we have to catch up on and it’s a little surreal that you’re here. With me. Right now.” She trails off, the fading blush from a few minutes ago rushing back across her impervious skin. 

A full, gorgeous, dimpled smile spreads across Lena’s face. It’s the smile that Kara used to see all the time during their countless lunch dates and game nights. It makes her heart stutter in her chest, a sight more beautiful than Rao’s dawn on Krypton. 

“I missed you, too. We do have a lot to catch up on.” Lena winks at her before sitting her half-eaten pie on the coffee table. “Do you want me to finish what I was saying or are you ready to tell me what’s got you so distracted?”

“Y-You go ahead and finish what you were saying. We can talk about my scattered brain later.” She gives her most endearing grin, hoping it will persuade her best friend to continue.

It works. They exchange stories for the next couple of hours. Lena shares what she learned about her mother and how apparently she comes from a long line of powerful sorceresses. Kara shares the crazy things they fought and dealt with in her absence along with the plan to get rid of Lex and Nyxly for good. Another night of completely skirting her inner dialogue. 

And so it goes for several weeks afterward. They spend their time working to get rid of the worst Luthor and his psychotic fifth-dimensional girlfriend. In the aftermath of William’s death, losing Lillian, and Alex and Kelly’s wedding, Lena seems to come to terms with her magical abilities and gain confidence in her new identity as the last Luthor standing. 

The good Luthor.

While Alex and Kelly are on their honeymoon, Kara and Lena finally have the conversation both of them have been putting off. 

The two of them are curled up on opposite ends of Kara’s couch, each holding a cup of their preferred tea. They exchange shy, knowing smiles for several seconds before Lena breaks the comfortable silence.

“You know, I used to think the biggest monsters I had to fear were Lex and Lillian.” Lena softly says, running her finger along the edge of her rapidly cooling mug. “Over the past year and especially these last few months, I’ve learned we make our own monsters. We make our own monsters, then fear them for what they show us about ourselves.”

A plethora of emotions swirl in the verdant eyes that look up and connect with concerned, but affectionate blue ones. They revel in brief silence, drinking in the intimacy and vulnerability of their shared space. Two battered souls that completely understand one another in ways no one else can.

Lena takes a deep breath, sits her now cold mug on the coffee table, and pats the cushion next to her hoping Kara will slide closer. She watches as Kara places her own mug down and shuffles across the couch, planting herself close enough that Lena’s knee sits against the side of her thigh. A delicate, pale hand rests on top of a warm tan one.

Kara turns her hand to lace their fingers together, gently squeezing Lena’s in a show of comfort. “I get that, at least I think I do. We’ve both been through so much in our lives, so much trauma.” The hero sucks in a ragged breath, all the things she’s lost flashing through her mind. “We both have wounds that will never show on our bodies. Wounds that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. But, as painful as they are, they’ve built us into who we are.”

A soft huff and a chuckle of incredulity sound beside her causing blue eyes to shift from their hands to Lena’s half-amused, half-saddened expression. “You’re not wrong, but I wish there was a better, less painful path to get here.” She rolls her eyes at the situation. “I guess part of my point in saying this about Lex and Lillian is that loving and yearning for love can be blinding. Sometimes, I think, we don’t really see how toxic someone is until we finally breathe fresher air.”

Lena lifts her free hand to gently rub soft patterns into the skin on Kara’s hand still clasped in hers. “When I was in Newfoundland, it reminded me that who I am and where I came from are only small pieces of who I want to be. Being in the fresh air, away from the Luthor name gave me a new perspective. It helped me realize some things.” 

A wistful smile spreads across her face as she pauses her ministrations on Kara’s skin. “There is a home no one can take from you, a home that will last. I think who you are, who you surround yourself with, and what you believe in is your real home. For me, that home is you, Kara.” She takes a shaky breath and makes eye contact with the blonde, hoping to convey how truly sincere she is. The raw truth in her statement.

Kara’s breath catches, her eyes glisten with tears. Lena hasn’t actually said the words she longs to hear, but it carries the same meaning. She does her best to collect her emotions and prevent the epic ramble she can sense coming. There is a journal/letter or whatever you want to call it she needs to share with Lena. So. She needs to get herself together. 

Which is hard when Lena looks so stunning. The happiness and confidence that exudes from her without Lex and Lillian looming over her, it makes her more alluring than ever. Kara’s mind constantly drifts to thoughts of ebony locks and viridian eyes.

Rao, Lena has never looked so beautiful. She’s a goddess amongst mere mortals…

She shakes her head and forces herself back to reality.

“You know, I spent a lot of time thinking about things too. While you were in Newfoundland, I mean. Well, and while I was in the Phantom Zone. Lots of time to think there.” She shakes her head, the urge to ramble growing stronger and she wants to do this right. Blowing out a breath and pulling another in, she tries to calm herself before trying again. “I’ve given a lot of thought to having a home and what it really means to me. I always see the same thing, Lena. Your face, your smile. It’s always you. I, umm, I wrote something about it while you were gone.”

Releasing their connected hands proves more difficult than she anticipated, but she manages. She pulls the folded paper from her pocket where it has been since she finished it. Her hope was the right moment would present itself and she could either let Lena read it or read it to her. Now the moment is here and she’s more nervous than her Pulitzer ceremony.

Clearing her throat, she pauses before locking eyes with her best friend and lightly shrugs. “I guess I’m not sure if you want to just read it or if you want me to read it to you. I mean, I’ll do either. Just as long as you know what it says and…” A nervous chuckle escapes and she shifts herself on the couch, turning her body toward her best friend. “What would you prefer? I’m going to be nervous and jittery regardless.”

Lena tilts her head and lifts her hand to her chin feigning thought. “Well, if you are giving me the choice, I am going to choose having you read it to me.” She pats the Kryptonian on the thigh before leaning her elbow onto the backrest of the couch, propping her head in her hand. “If I can listen to your words and hear your thoughts through your voice, I am going to choose that option every time, Kara.”

They laugh and settle into place as Kara unfolds the paper. She knows this is going to change things, she just doesn’t know how much. With one last look at the woman that holds her heart, she begins to read.

--------------------------

Watching her. It’s something I catch myself doing quite frequently. It’s not that I mean to or I do it on purpose. It just happens. She’s always captivated me. Her wit. Her brilliance. Her grace. Not to mention her eyes. Her smile. Her armor piercing eyebrow raise. There are so many things about her that reel me in.

From the first moment our eyes met, the first time my eyes connected with the deep pools of sea green, I knew she was special. Someone important. And that is the moment my world shifted.

Watching her is distracting. She moves with a sense of surety and power unlike any I’ve seen. Her intelligence is a super power very few possess, she wields it with both caution and tenacity. The desire to help others is so innate to her soul, even the sinister Luthors couldn’t break her drive to do good.

From the first time she helped save the city, I knew she was a hero. A woman worthy of respect and honor, no matter the name she was born under. That was the moment I knew we could take on the world together.

Watching her is awe inspiring. She is so willing to give, to help others, to share her inventions and love of science for the betterment of society, for the greater good of the world. She strives to help others, sometimes even at the detriment of herself.

From the moment she put herself on the line for the safety of others, I knew she was worthy of more than what so many hurl at her. Worthy of love, trust, and respect, leagues beyond what the world has given her.

Watching her is life changing. Life has so many twists and turns, nothing is guaranteed or promised. But when I see her, when I watch her teach her goddaughter new things, when I watch her toss her head back in unrestrained laughter, even when I watch tears drift down her pale cheeks…watching her is life changing.

From the moment I first held her in my arms, I knew my life was forever changed. The gift of her smile is priceless, the gift of her trust is sacred, but the gift of her love is divine.

Watching her has forever changed my life, finding her is how I found my home. --------------------------

Kara finishes reading, but is hesitant to look up. She’s not sure how Lena is going to react and doesn’t want to see rejection reflected back at her. It isn’t until she hears a soft sniffle that her head bolts up and her eyes find teary, sparkling green ones. 

Her eyes widen and she reaches out to wipe the tears away. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” The blonde grabs the box of tissues from the coffee table and hands one to Lena. “Are you okay? Do you need me to leave? I can…”

Her rambling words are halted by a soft finger pressing against her lips. She keeps her eyes on the woman the finger belongs to. The mossy pools she’s gotten lost in countless times search her oceanic ones, apparently finding what she needs.

Lena slowly removes her finger, gently lifting both hands to rest on Kara’s cheeks. She presses their foreheads together and sighs. “I guess two lost little girls finally found their home.”

Neither of them know who leaned in first. In the end, it really doesn’t matter. Not when the result is their lips pressing together and a home to call their own.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm still here ngl..

*

Listen, I see this and feel so much happiness. Jimin dancing, showing who he is, showing the versatility of his style and giving us just a glimpse into the extensive, vast range of his talent.

There's been some revisionism happening regarding BTS that's ratcheted up in the last three years or so. I can't be the only person who's noticed it. People more forcefully asserting things about the members that are just plain absurd, like saying this or that member isn't that talented, or that xyz member has this massive character failing that's only just apparent now for some reason, or that things they've said and done aren't actually the case. After FACE, I noticed people saying shit like Jimin can't sing and can't dance...

That reminds me, I went to a cup-sleeve event in June for another group and someone told me to my face Jimin can't dance and I almost uppercut that bitch. It ticked me off but I didn't actually assault her. What I did instead was ask her to explain what she meant, told her I disagreed, and showed her why by playing Jimin's Black Swan solo DP. She took back her initial claim and said she'd just been in a k-pop group online and all those people were saying is how none of the BTS members are that talented especially Jimin who apparently can't sing to save his life and whatever dancing he can do is limited to a few moves from 6 years ago.

Plain insanity.

Jimin, out of the kindness of his sweet, magnanimous heart, is giving the amnesia patients a crash course in who he is. He's reminding people he is Park Jimin of BTS. The dancer who joined a nearly bankrupt agency, had the shortest training period in that agency's history, and with the least resources, and debuted as the main dancer and lead singer of what is now the biggest group in the world. The man who critics from all over the world laud as a virtuoso, in voice, dance, and performance. His voice has brought men to their knees, calmed babies, enchanted concert halls, made stadiums full of people cry out in pure joy. There's nobody alive or dead like Park Jimin, and the fact we all get to exist in the same time as him is a blessing too many people (for my liking) take for granted.

ThisIsJimin is a gift I'm thankful to Jimin for giving us again.

*

Anyway, I was watching that clip again with a friend and she pointed out how cool the dance practice room was. Noted how it's a massive improvement from the old BigHit halls that had mold growing on the walls and water dripping on live wires in the back. It's taken years, hard work by the members, good business sense from BigHit/HYBE, and a lot of my own hard-earned money as well as the resources (time, money, otherwise) from ARMYs over the years to get to this point - and I just want to say, speaking for myself, even though I still see massive room for improvement, I feel very happy with the state of things.

HYBE is cultivating a solid roster of talent built on BTS's hard work. The world-class facilities in the building is the first good sign, as well as the talent now being fostered there. I love the quality of the army of dancers Jimin had access to for his SMF Pt2 performances, I love that NewJeans is doing so well that Riot Games sought them to feature on their new World's anthem, I love that a whole new generation of incredible groups are growing in the environment created by BTS's own trials and success.

BOYNEXTDOOR is a group that continues to have my attention because all six boys are just that good. They posted their dance practice for Crying today (my favourite song from a rookie group in 2023), and I noticed they did it in a similar dark coloured dance practice room Jimin filmed his #ThisIsJimin choreo in. And that really just put a very silly smile on my face for a reason I can't pinpoint yet.

*

Maybe it's aftereffects from the Jimin Effect after streaming his reel as hard as I'm streaming Indigo lately.

I see the asks you send, about Golden, JK in general, jokers, this or that thing happening in fandom, and I'll get to them at some point but I don't want to talk about them right now. Because I'm still stuck on Jimin showcasing himself in that air conditioned, world class dance practice room that's only possible because of his hard work, tenacity, talent, and love for his group.

I'm still stuck on Jimin and legit cannot move on. He's such a beast. Such a calculating, proud, stubborn, and kind beast of a man.

I'm not sure what's going on with me.

We're in Jimtober so maybe his juju is just extra strong and I can't escape his grip no matter what I try. Anyway, it's a good idea to stream FACE, allow yourself to re-experience his album, check out his other solos as well (played Christmas Love over the weekend and realized it sounds even better on low frequency speakers), and eat a lot of spicy food followed by warm/hot drinks because Jimin is curious about such things (and it really does work).

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Vampire (8) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven

Bedtime Story (ao3) - gorgeousnerd

Summary: Years ago, Dan would have been scared. Years ago, Dan wouldn’t have dressed like a sexy nun for the world to see in the first place, specifically to avoid a moment like this one.

Years ago, Dan didn’t have the man who stepped out of the darkness and behind the stranger.

Vampires Dan and Phil feed, and Dan tells Phil a couple stories.

Birthday wish (ao3) - R3ad3r1

Summary: Phil is a vampire, he is in love with a human: Dan. Everything seems fine between the two of them until Dan's birthday comes.

Bite (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil’s day had started fairly normal. He had woken up at 5pm, played video games, had something to eat and started to get ready for a night out. He really loved Fridays. Fridays meant warm bodies writhing under him in pleasure and pain, intoxicated with everything he gave them and everything he took from them.

Bite Me (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: “Do you know how it tastes kind of good when you bite your tongue and you can taste the blood in your mouth?”

Phil really wants to bite something. Dan mostly wants to be left out of Phil's weird new kink and stop hearing about vampires. But when they go to look in the mirror and nothing's there, Phil might just be right about the vampire thing after all (just don't call the army).

i got long fangs, come appraise me (ao3) - misbhvdan

Summary: “I – I can’t deny that I have … urges,” Phil says, his gaze flicking down to Dan’s neck for a second. “But I’ll … control myself around you.”

“Please don’t.” Once again, Dan’s mouth is faster than his brain and he’s said something he maybe should’ve thought about more. Though, thinking something is apparently the same thing as saying it out loud now anyway, so what’s the point.

— or, dan howell’s “the urge” but they fuck i guess?

i woke up and i was trying to kill you (ao3) - r1caner

Summary: Phil’s throat is dry. He swallows, and it does nothing. He can’t move his fingers, and his mouth hurts. He can’t grind his teeth, it just makes this horrible sound that makes him shudder. But he needs to do something, needs to feel like he has at least something he can do about the dull, ongoing pain, so he brings a fist to his mouth and hits his teeth, rapping his knuckles on his teeth like he’s knocking on a heavy door.

in the woods somewhere (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: After Dani bit Fi, Fi started to change too.

Like Ghosts In The Snow (ao3) - imademon

Summary: "He walked his fingers up from Dan’s chest up to the place Dan was bitten. When he reached it, he let his hand linger there until Dan took Phil’s hand in his.

"What if I don't want to be the person who stops your heart."'

Dan is turned by a vampire and comes home to face Phil, whom he agrees to turn too. Also! Shower sex

ph is for phlebotomy (ao3) - serendipnpipity

Summary: u/jonnyharker:

AITA for accusing my flatmate’s partner of being a vampire?

stop the world i wanna get off with you (ao3) - manchesterau

Summary: A domestic night in the life of Phil the vampire and Dan the witch.

sweet—diabolically, irresistibly sweet (ao3) - buskingalbatross

Summary: This is what they did after most kills now. Somehow, after so many times, it had become a ritual, maybe a form of recovery. A part of coming home.

Vampire Moon (ao3) - natigail

Summary: As a werewolf, Phil knew it was foolish to stay out late on the night of a full moon. It was even more foolish to agree to take a walk with Dan who was never up to any good. But Phil couldn't admit to himself that he had a blind spot concerning the vampire, and now he was going to pay for that.

You can take my blood away. (ao3) - here4ag00dtimenotAlongt1me

Summary: phan but vampires cuz yuh

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: dhr_advent (part 5)

dhr_advent 2023:

Teach Me How To Fall by sodamnrad - M, one-shot - raco forces offers to teach Hermione how to play Quidditch for the Ministry's holiday game.

Keep It Like a Secret by PacificRimbaud - M, one-shot - He regards her with interest, cool as the ice in his G&T. “What do you want?” On close inspection, he's a bit deadly. It's the combined power of self-regard, an open ear, and a cunningly tailored suit. Hermione wants— “An expiration date would be nice.” She suctions up the watery dregs and signals for more. “Let’s say I want . . . a year. Exactly one year of monogamy without the possibility of further commitment."

In Want of a Wife by ambpersand - E, one-shot - Through a few forced breaths, Hermione manages to settle her nausea well enough to slide out of bed, squinting at the bright morning light. The braid of ribbons follows her left hand as she pulls the curtains closed, a giant knot of silver and gold that won’t shake free. While she works on unwinding them from her hand and arm, she checks the papers, finding the signatures she hoped they would be too drunk to remember to complete. Unfortunately not. There they sit, sloppy and side by side. Her’s a little cramped and rushed, his a little too large and loopy. Her lungs squeeze tight. They actually did it. At some point between the first glass of nettle wine and the last bottle of Dragon Barrel brandy, it must have stopped being a joke. She’s still wearing her dress from the night before, which fits the messy carnage that surrounds her. It’s wrinkled and a bit twisted around her waist, but at least it’s not tossed on the floor with the rest of her marriage licence. The only thing missing is her apparent husband.

sweet dreams of holly and ribbon by LovesBitca8 - E, one-shot - The war against the Dark Lord continues on, but Hermione is stuck at Grimmauld Place with the world's most annoying house guest.

From the Journal of Hermione Granger by Catmint and Thyme (Languish_Locked_in_L) - M, one-shot - Only one bed, rainforest edition. In which Hermione Granger goes on an expedition to Costa Rica in search of a magical (probably mythical) poinsettia with her insufferable colleague, Draco Malfoy, who she can't stop drawing. (It's not creepy, he just has good bone structure.)

Not What It Looks Like by eveningstruggle - M, one-shot - A hot, panicky hurt begins to throb inside her chest. This doesn’t make sense. Is it some type of horribly misguided practical joke? Revenge for shutting him down a few months ago? Or—is it a parting gift? A “so long and thanks for the memories, now I’m off to fuck someone else?” ”What—” Her voice croaks. She clears her throat and tries again. “What the fuck is this, Malfoy?” Confusion creases his forehead. “They’re photos of you.” She’s five seconds from bolting back through the Floo. “I can see that. Why have you given me two dozen terrible photos of myself for Christmas?” Or: Draco gives Hermione a Christmas gift.

Sounds Worth It by RoseHarperMaxwell - T, one-shot - The first time Draco seeks her out at the hospital is a crisp October day, which happens to be the six-month anniversary of her divorce. “Hello,” says Hermione, glancing up from her paperwork. “Draco. Can I…help you?” He’s well put together, dropping gracefully into the chair across from her desk without invitation. “Yes. I’m in need of medical attention.” “I see.” Hermione does not, in fact, see. This is quite unorthodox. There’s a triage procedure and rarely does it result in patients coming to her office. “Tell me more.” Five times Draco fakes an ailment as an excuse to visit Hermione, and one time he doesn't. D/Hr Advent 2023 🎄

Penguins, Pebbles, and Other Reasons to Pursue Unemployment by mightbewriting - T, one-shot - “Is that…shit? On my desk?” Granger doesn’t so much as look up from her mountain of teetering parchments at Draco’s question. Her hair: frazzled. Her frown: ominous. The energy in their shared office: frantic. “Penguin shit,” she says. “Specifically, it’s penguin shit.” [In which a penguin-themed mishap at the Ministry nearly costs Draco his sanity.]

O' Little Town Of Balsam Grove by inadaze22 - M, one-shot - Chaos comes to the town of Balsam Grove and wrecks Draco's plans for the perfect proposal.

Most Sincerely Yours by morriganmercy - T, one-shot - Harry has been certain for months that Malfoy is up to something. When Hermione finds a seemingly out-of-character Christmas card, she can’t help but agree.

Chaperone Chaos, Mistletoe Madness: A Yule Ball Tale by scullymurphy - M, one-shot - Professors Malfoy and Granger hate each other. They're also chaperoning the Yule Ball, where Erotogenic Mistletoe makes a timely appearance.

The Path Carefully Tread by HeyJude19 - T, one-shot - The nature of families could shift; shaped by time, trauma, arguments, and reconciliations. She saw how Draco warred with that now, how he battled his instinctual, youthful desire to please his father with his resolve to sever ties with someone who had hurt him gravely.

A Gentleman's Guide to Courtship and Caregiving by ChaosAndCrumpets - T, one-shot - An accident involving a quidditch bat has Draco Malfoy wishing tragic and irreversible misfortune on Blaise Zabini. But he'll leave St Mungo's with far more than just a healed nose; a newly acquired Godmother, an affinity for mince pies, and an inconvenient attraction to a certain Healer, to name just three.

Seasons of Liberation by Misdemeanor1331 - E, one-shot - Unmoored after the murder of his parents, Draco seeks stability in the Muggle world. The woman he pays to anchor him has an agenda all her own.

dhr_advent 2024:

if you ever want to be in love by Wanderingfair - E, one-shot - “How did you two meet?” Rolf Scamander is nice, companionable. She likes him for Luna. She doesn’t correct the implication as Draco slips his hand around her waist. She wants to say, we’re partners. We’re friends. We’ve saved each other in a million tiny, life-altering ways. “Oh, we’ve met in every universe.” A love story told through the vignettes of healing over many Decembers.

In Pursuit of a Marshmallow by Zeebee3 - E, one-shot - The room bursts into catcalls and whoops, but Hermione just blinks down at it. Charcoal? It doesn’t immediately compute. “You don’t seem surprised,” Malfoy drawls. “Have you been naughty this year, Granger?” Oh. Those bastards. --- Or, where a new Weasley's Wizard Wheezes product is featured at a holiday party.

There's an Art to Pining by charingfae - E, one-shot - Hermione yearns. For love, for success, for contentment. Above all, she yearns for something—or someone—she'll never have. — Malfoy is everywhere. He’s in the way she takes her tea—black with a splash of honey, like he does. Etches and echoes of sweeping tendrils of silver-blond strands falling across his forehead, shadowing his cheekbones beneath the harsh afternoon sun. Long fingers that drum against his thighs when he’s bored. His sharp wit comes out on pub nights, and it’s a delight to see it turned on other people. To laugh with him. He looks at her sometimes, in those moments, and the secret smile he gives her is nothing short of earth-shattering. 

Wrapped in Ribbon by morriganmercy - E, one-shot - Unity is the theme for Hogwarts’ first-ever Eighth Year, including a reprise of the highly-acclaimed Yule Ball. Draco gladly makes himself a shining example of the effort, though, to be fair, he’s mostly only interested in uniting with his co-Head, Hermione Granger.

Sojourn by inadaze22 - M, one-shot - On a cliffside in Iceland, Hermione finds what her subconscious has been searching for all along.

Prince Draco Underground by PacificRimbaud - G, one-shot - Of her lover’s many faults and arguable virtues, he's never late. So when 8 o’clock runs into 10, 12 ticks into 2, and Hermione's third note of rationally tempered concern flies unanswered back to sender, she panics. “He's probably sick,” says Harry. “You both work in a hospital. The place where diseases live.” “When has he ever,” says Hermione, “failed to advertise a twinge?” Outside the Malfoy Manor gates, the grass is green. Inside the fence— “Go home,” says Harry gravely. “Go to hell,” Hermione replies. And because that is that, they plod up the drive and strain open the door to a landscape of ominous white.

A Warm Drink by Catmint and Thyme (Languish_Locked_in_L) - E, one-shot - Hermione long ago learned that the only way to take care of a problem is to deal with it herself. That's why she's determined to hunt down the vampire assaulting students at Hogwarts. Or, what's 8th year without a bit of blood drinking for Christmas? A Vampire Draco AU

Earmuffs and Other Unusual Delinquencies by ChaosAndCrumpets - T, one-shot - A Factual and Unexaggerated Account of the Numerous and Undignified Crimes of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. As told (in part) by Theodore Nott.

icebreaker by ninepiecesofcrait - E, one-shot - On his way out of the office for Christmas break, Malfoy accidentally grabs the horrible present Ginny gave Hermione instead of his own, unraveling Hermione’s plans for a quiet, relaxing holiday in a single, vibrating moment.

Christmas (Cracker) Chemistry by ambpersand - E, one-shot - “Christmas Crackers?” Malfoy asks, holding one up, then looks at her with a surprisingly warm expression. “Cute.” Hermione fights a blush. They’re no ordinary Christmas Crackers. She had George and the staff at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes whip up a special surprise for the Ministry—except she explicitly requested they be red and green, not gold and silver. It’s not that big of a deal. She’ll get over it. Tomorrow. Malfoy busies himself by helping to distribute several tubes on each table without request. It’s easy, working with him in a silent tandem. They’ve done it a few times on shared projects, holing up in her office or his, and quickly fall into an easy rhythm. Every time she sneaks a glance, he’s conveniently looking elsewhere. At the final table, he shakes one close to his ear. “So what’s inside? They’re light.” She hurries over to him. There’s few enough people around that the surprise won't be ruined if she gives him a peek, and the prototypes were perfect. “We’ll have to be quick.” A sly smile pulls at his lips, and he holds one end towards her. “On three?”

Smaller Acts by Molivier - M, one-shot - “You know,” she says, her voice a little too tender, a little too honest, “I’ll allow you to be rude to me. Just once. Tell me how you really feel.” He hesitates, his gaze dropping to her lips and then back to her eyes. “I don’t think you’d like it.” “Try me.”

In the Air There's a Feeling by eveningstruggle - T, one-shot - “Still using caffeine to bribe the local business owners into liking you?” “Doing my best.” He held up his copy of the card. “Has any person ever looked less happy about Christmas than this man? His idea of nice decorations is probably a fake tree and some dusty plastic garland.” “I opened Crooks’ Book Nook four years ago, and in all that time the DABA hasn’t done anything except collect annual dues and turn down permit applications for new benches. I almost don’t want to participate, just on principle, but that’s a lot of money.” “If you ask nicely, I’ll share some of it when I win,” said Malfoy as he turned to leave. Hermione shot two fingers at his back. or: Hermione and Draco decorate competitively.

Shag Lists, Wish Lists and Other Miracles by greenflowerpot - not rated, one-shot - Hermione Granger joins the Ministry after a year abroad. Draco Malfoy becomes her friend, then she learns something about him that makes her not want to be his friend, then she plans an office Christmas party. - OR: Draco Malfoy, reformed rake simp, holiday edition.

Eves and Ends by HeyJude19 - E, one-shot - Draco does not care how he landed in this situation. Whether curse or coma or hallucination, he has no desire to know what has trapped him in his present circumstance. There’s nothing at all stopping him from reliving Christmas Eve with Granger for the rest of time.

This fest is ongoing.

[asavt]

i have only watched the first animator vs video (years ago)

tell me about them

OK, I think I can answer these two together.

Animator Vs. Animation, to put you into context Mx. Surefootcleric, ended up having another four parts that form a first season, a second season into making, you got the Animation Vs. Minecraft series that started as a single chapter thing of the stick figures discovering minecraft and eventually getting around 35 parts (I think that was the number of the last chapter, I don't remember very well), you got other videos that are the stick figures discovering other games such as League of Legends and Pokemon, and also one where they fight mister youtube, AND the newer series that I like to refer to as Animation Vs. Exact Sciences (it's very cool btw, last one was Geometry and I adored that one, as someone who doesn't exactly remember everything from school BUT remembers the classes where we saw geometry I liked that very much) (UPDATE: I've been writing this answer for a while now and there's a new one that idk if I would call it an "excat science" but man.) . All we knew about all those years back was "haha, funny stick figure comes to life and the animator starts to toy with the little guy, this is something I wish that would happen to me!! Such a fun concept" and now is "OH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!"

Tho, just like I explained before with PMTOK (months ago), you're not really meant to take absolutely everything too seriously, they are stick figures fighting their creator because the guy got issues or something, or just because he got a little too curious and bored, both could be to be honest.

Now, even if I'm saying this, I'm not going to deny the big appreciation and admiration I have towards these shorts that are honestly no longer just "shorts" about funny stick figures. I think the first thing one can note about the videos is how even with a lack of dialog for most of the videos the story still gets across pretty well!! I love how much you can get to know of each character from their motions alone and the way they react to certain things. This same thing of the characters being mostly nonverbal also gives way to a few funny moments; I think of the few moments in AvA 3 where the tension is broken by the natural silliness that The Chosen One seems to have (and that rarely comes out to light, I might get back to this later) or a moment in Cave Spider Roller Coaster in the AvM series where the color gang is running away from the spider nest Green just runs faster and ahead of the rest because of course he is he was playing bait for the others to escape (the poor guy surrounded by spiders... ew...).

I was re-watching the last six/five episodes of the season three of Animation Vs. Minecraft and it's the reason why I wanted to talk about how much I like these series. That season contains some of my favorite chapters and character interactions so far, BESIDES the music which is another thing that has gotten better and better with time. So, to give context, the plot for this season is "there's this older orange stick figure that Purple is working under that apparently wants to use this weird staff thing that is clearly dangerous, and we gotta stop him" something like that. Those five to six chapters are what really solidified the character personalities (in my opinion) (and marked ships too holy sh-) and god if the music doesn't help with all the plot. Just, the way that the individual songs for each chapter before the season finale just add to another tune while they fight the "big bad" and then the tracks that I just completely adore from those chapters are last tracks for chapter 29 "Note Block Universe", specifically the ones where Purple and Green are basically doing a duet and Purple's whole emotional turmoil, the tracks of "Monster School" because I am an old minecraft fan and I was there when Willcraft was uploading (it's more of a nostalgia thing but I adore how the score is like the original series' tracks, and the animations too its so silly hehehehhehhehHEHEHEH) , and the tracks from chapter 30 "The King", the way the individual tracks combine to make that one hell of a perfect song during around the first half of the episode, then the track that plays when Herobrine appears again and the synthesizer sounds that made me think so much of Minecraft's own tracks (I was losing my mind when I heard those oh god) while also making me think of the original Animation vs. Minecraft, and the tracks for Purple confronting the King and the color gang running back to the PC its great. So good, I re-watch those chapters often can you tell?

So, going back to character personalities, I'll answer the second question (@breadthecat 's) and say my favorites (because I have a hard time choosing just one) are most likely The Chosen One and Purple. Purple is a kinda biased choice based on color (help) also designated flower-guy besides Blue (who I also like a lot actually! witch-gardener guy that's so cool). And then we got TCO, a little maybe basic choice but I enjoy the way he seems to be portrayed as this all powerful, kinda serious and definitely traumatized guy who is actually very silly and overconfident at times (First fight against TDL with the thing with the card and him challenging TDL first, in the newer season the way he kind of taunts the mercenaries by waving at them while carying TSC around, and his little wave and "I leave it to you!" thing towards Second two. What is his problem.)

Anyways, this became extremely long. Yes I love this silly series about stick figures.

[aslitheryprinx]

I wish that I were a streamer, bc what just happened to me is SO insane.

So despite having played Minecraft for years I've never actually beaten the game on a survival world. I always get distracted and end up creating a new world before I actually get to that point. Earlier today, I decided to log onto a slightly older world (like a year or so, not very old, but it's been a bit) since I'd already progressed pretty far.

I gather all my stuff and start hunting down the stronghold. It takes a bit, especially cause I'm not super practiced at this, but I find it! I also happen to find a bunch of old stuff from when I apparently died trying to find the stronghold ages ago- that was a nice surprise!

You know what wasn't a nice surprise??

The stronghold sitting snug up against the deep dark.

Honestly, at first I think it's pretty cool. It's the first time I've actually seen the deep dark in person, so I'm more intrigued than anything else.

I set my spawn, and start looking for the portal room.

I open a single door and hear a shrieker go off.

Darkness starts pulsing.

Right about then is when I start thinking 'ok this might be a Problem!!!'

I'm hoping the shrieker or catalyst or whatever it is that actually spawns the warden is outside the door, so I press my luck and go forward. I end up setting it off again, so I retreat to try and figure out my next move.

I'm wondering if I should just abandon this stronghold and find a new one, but that would be a pretty long journey. If I can just get rid of the catalyst, I should be set to explore the stronghold.

I leave the actual stronghold itself and start carefully going around looking for where the problem spot is, but I can't actually see anything important except for a diamond. I crouch the whole way, grab it, and come back to the top.

And then. A zombie villager sneaks up behind me and knocks me off into the deep dark.

I land on the catalyst, setting a shrieker off again of course.

Now, I wasn't sure how many times you could set the warden off. I thought it ran on a 3 strikes you're out system, so I am PANICKING.

I try to break the catalyst.

The catalyst is also under a water stream so I'm splashing around the whole time and. Of course. I set off a shrieker again.

The Warden spawns.

Somehow, I manage to swim back up the water stream without dying. I turn around. The Warden is about six blocks away.

It is at this point that I just fully pause the game to contemplate my fate.

Maybe I should've logged out at that point, to lose that aggro on myself. But I didn't think about that.

I was incredibly certain I was about to die, and having just gained back a ton of stuff that I'd been devastated by losing in the first place, (enough that I had kind of lost interest in this world originally), I decided that making sure I didn't lose any of my stuff was the priority.

And my spawn point was basically right there...

I dropped back into the stronghold and was almost immediately killed by the Warden. But when I respawned, I could see my stuff all right there, still safe.

New problem: the Warden had dropped down and was also right in front of my spawn point.

And thus begins my death loop.

I put all of my stuff save my sword in a chest- which didn't help the warden being mad at me- and decided to try and brute force kill this thing through multiple deaths.

But by the time I had everything situated, the warden had sort of disappeared.

It was still there. It was shooting me with sonic blasts and killing me over and over again. But I couldn't actually see it, so I couldn't kill it.

It was at this point that I decided to log out, get a snack, and come back with a clearer head afterwards.

I don't know if wardens despawn. I don't know if it's going to be there when I come back. But I'm in too deep now, I am going to find the portal room of this Stronghold if I have to kill the Warden with my bare fists to do it!!!!!

[mallory-x]

Thank you @bazzybelle for the tag! I love getting tagged in things even if I don’t always remember to reblog them

Were you named after anyone?

I have the same name as my mum’s cousin but she says I’m not named after her. Apparently my mum just picked a name that she liked that she didn’t know anyone else had used for their child, and managed to predict one of the most popular girl’s names that year. By the time I was in upper sixth there were 12 of us in sixth form with the same name.

Do you have kids?

No. I have complicated feelings over it but I’m at a place now where I’m happy with being childfree. I’m in my mid 40s so it’s unlikely to happen even if I wanted it to now.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Me? Sarcastic? Never!

(I have to warn new people that I’m a sarcastic bitch and to let me know if I go too far and I can tone it down a bit)

What's the first thing you notice about people?

If they need help/support. I used to think it was annoying that people would always approach me to ask directions or something, but now I’ve realised they approach me because I’ve made eye contact first. Now I’m older and more confident I go up to them if they’re looking lost and ask if I can help.

What's your eye colour?

Hazel. Predominantly brown with a dark limbic ring, and green around the iris.

Scary movie or happy ending?

Happy ending. I don’t like horror films (except vampire and werewolf ones, which don’t count). I can cope with a sad ending if it’s the noble, self-sacrificing type of sad ending. (Yes, the irony of this when I’m in the Sandman fandom, I’m well aware!)

Any special talents?

Appearing confident and organised when I’m really just anxiety, ADHD and autism in a trenchcoat.

What are your hobbies?

What I say my hobbies are: knitting, crochet, embroidery, reading, steampunk

What I spend my time doing: scrolling discord, Instagram, and tumblr, and reading smut on AO3, all while procrastinating any of about 16 craft and writing projects

Have any pets?

I have three cats - Giles, Willow, and Cordy (Cordelia). We did have five cats earlier this year, but we lost Charlie to heart failure in April and Spike to a car accident about six weeks ago.

What sport do you play/have you played?

I recently started learning Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) - specifically 15th century German longsword. Hob Gadling would be proud!

How tall are you?

I tell people I’m 5’9” (1.75m) but I’m probably closer to 5’8” these days

Favourite subject at school?

Maths. Pure maths in particular is so elegant, it’s like poetry.

Dream job?

What I’m working towards: nurse practitioner in the emergency department

What I daydream about: running a little secondhand bookshop/cafe with lots of little nooks with sofas and armchairs to curl up in, regular groups coming in for crafting sessions or board gaming or toddler groups, hanging coffees for homeless people - a place that people feel welcome and want to come and hang out in.

Tagging @janimoon, @acanthoscurria, @shadowpuppet-storyteller, @zigzag-wanderer, @temve, @starlightervarda, @tryan-a-bex, @ginjones, @gabessquishytum, @paprotkarotka. No pressure of course