#I was angry and now I'm just sad
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Mobile Tumblr US users spend an average of 4.04 minutes per session on the app.
Text
broken dopamine receptor
#disco elysium#de skills#disco elysium skills#electrochemistry#de electrochemistry#does anyone else get so sad about him. ''oh haha funny image i'll draw it as an echem shitpost'' ''...oh no. why's it sad now.''#''its so hard to keep living and here's things that make it easier!! that make you better!! give me something to work with here!!''#''I JUST WANT HIM TO LIVE! HOW CAN WE CALL THIS LIVING?? I CARE FOR HIM JUST AS MUCH AS THE REST OF YOU!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??!''#[angry and desperate] ''MY INTENTIONS ARE GOOD!! I'M *TRYING*!!!!!!'' [softer. more broken] ''i... i'm *trying*...''#<- SAD ABOUT HIM!! anyway enjoy :]#voliart
244 notes
·
View notes
Text
collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
145 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 14 - Snack/Food
What silly adults, talking as if you can't hear them while you're still within hearing distance. Death? They're worried about their own mortality when you've come this far? How stupid....
Day 14 of @darlnyan's ISAT-ober prompts
#in stars and time#isat#isat fanart#isat bonnie#isat spoilers#isatober#isatober2024#spades scribbles#I know this one is simple but I've kind of always wanted today's prompt to be simple?#I think about bonnie on the second snack break sometimes#I wonder what was going through their head#feeling belittled? worried? angry? sad? It can't just be one emotion#anyways enough rambling#at least I'm caught up now
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just don't understand how my mom had me, her oldest and first child, raised me for 18 years (kind of?), and then chose some guy she barely knows and is objectively terrible over me and kicked me out unexpectedly after telling me I'm no longer a part of her family and all my childhood trauma (that HER at the time husband caused) was my fault. And now she's banned me from seeing my siblings that I RAISED (because she wasn't able to at the time.), she refused to answer my phone calls or texts when I was in the hospital, terrified, crying and begging her to come help or support me because I was completely alone in the hospital in the worst pain in my life and just wanted my mom, and on top of everything, made it clear I'm not invited to family thanksgiving. I don't understand. How is she even able to do that. I don't need her, I'm an adult, but I'm still her child. I don't think I'll ever understand.
#i'll delete this later#but i would really appreciate some kind words or support or blorbo/pet photos right now /nf#i'm just really sad and really angry#maybe i'm just being dramatic or selfish#after all i am an adult. i dont need my mom anymore.#but it still hurts#i can do it without her. but it sucks she doesn't even want me at the family thanksgiving for ONE day.#i miss my siblings#tw vent
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ID in alt text]
Another wip! It's kind of almost done :)
#sha gojyo#saiyuki#wip#gotta tag talk for a sec -#idk if it's weird or inappropriate considering the smiley mood of the wip but I just kinda need to#cw: death I guess#life's so so bizar right now - just. incomprehensible in a way#I don't know how to describe what's going on in my head#with my dad being on his death bed#on one hand it's all consuming and on the other. like. life is still happening? I worked today. did work things#I'm working on this light-hearted little comic and it feels almost rude to keep drawing it#like whatever I make should be sad or angry or whatever#or not at all#but this is still what I wanna draw#I keep thinking about fucking Inktober bc it's something that brings me joy normally#but I will absolutely not be able to do it and it's so so so unimportant in the grand scheme of things#I have sketches that I like so idk they'll get finished eventually#got a message about a commission I would love to do but the deadline is in around December#and I just can't know if I'll even be able to do#it's just impossible to imagine my dad pretty much definitely not being here in two months#let alone what life will be like and what *I'll* be like#it's so weird#danikunst#fanart#described#1
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
My parents were shit to me as a kid but I'm like one hundred percent sure they never read my diaries, at least because I would have been in a hell of a lot more trouble if they had
Anyway I don't care how stellar your record as a parent is or how you're justifying this invasion, if you read your kid's diary without their consent you're an automatic piece of shit and your child has every right to never trust you again
#sanctity of diary#like my parents were the kind of person who removed my bedroom door because 'they couldn't trust me'#among heaps of physical mental emotional and even financial abuse#but they never read my diaries. that doesn't absolve them it's just me saying fuck you to people who read other's diaries#i see this a lot on the journaling reddit#just saw a post on the journaling reddit of someone's diary being SHREDDED by an abusive relative#it made me so sad#anyway I'm actually cool with my parents as an adult they SINCERELY apologized to me and are trying to make up for it all#i don't necessarily forgive them but I'm not angry anymore#if anything i feel sad bc they never got those apologies from THEIR parents and now it's too late to ever get them
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is it too early for me to feel jewish rage because I'm still thinking about the rededication of a shul that two members of my shul are going to. I mentioned this in the tags of a previous post, but know why it's being rededicated to the jewish community? They had to sell the shul to the catholic church. That shul has existed for over a hundred years and a significant portion of its existence has been under ownership of the catholic church. And only now is that jewish community able to buy back their own shul. Maybe it hits harder now because I am in love with my shul, maybe it's because I know how hard it is to find a shul no matter how big the city is. Maybe I just think jewish things deserve to be with jews. Maybe I'm crazy!!
I'm just upset about it. And I know this is, like, 80% of jewish history, but it still makes me feel things.
#jumblr#jewish conversion#jew by choice#personal thoughts tag#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#i think that shul has been in existence since the late 1800s? i cant remember but i know i was told is was longer than a century#sorry to post this right after a lighthearted post. i'm just angry and sad thinking about this again#don't get me wrong the shul is now where it belongs (with jews) but. it shouldn't have taken this long...#...it shouldn't have ever left our/their possession (bad wording but you know what i mean. too upset to really care per se)#lmao i need to stop thinking about this or else i'll just feel sick
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - jungsu's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
#xdinary heroes#jungsu#kim jungsu#jun han#junhan#jooyeon#gunil#ode#gaon#han hyeongjun#lee jooyeon#goo gunil#oh seungmin#kwak jiseok#jungsu23#forfreddy#HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may you have a lovely one with many kisses ♥#(ugh i was worried they'd stop this tradition and i would have been so sad about it. but now they HAVE to keep going ♥)#it's time for another concert story. or rather post-concert story.#so i did this photo thingie but when it was over and we walked out....... i completely forgot to look at the guys. i had my head down#(it was all so fast and i was struggling carrying my stuff so i didn't pay attention to .... well paying attention)#but then i walked past jungsu and i could FEEL him looking at me. his look was so intense and i don't mean this in a delulu way#this isn't me claiming we were meant to be. it's about him and he's got this.... presence. this aura. and it's very captivating#and intense (in a good way) and i was SO impressed and i still think about it#and what it was like when the other members met him for the first time (especially shy hyeongjun)#now to my more general impression. i feel like he's very intense overall? like he can probably get really angry and really bitchy#but he also loves intensely. and he loves his bois so much and cares about them so much#and i'm so glad he found a group where it fits so well. where he's one of the oldest and he can take care of the younger ones....#but also there's a leader who isn't an autocrat - who needs support too who doesn't want to carry all the weight on his own#who's willing to share the burden. and jungsu is right there at gunil's side without judging him. he's just very lovely and ♥♥♥ hbd jungsu
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate men so goddamn much. also, fuck everyone who voted to fuck women over (and fuck everyone who could've voted but whined "both sides" and sat on their ass instead). my GOD i am so full of hate.
#i'm way too angry to mince words about it rn. block me about it who gives a shit#i've somewhat passed the point of feeling sad and now i'm just shaking with rage. i want to scream!#it's a good thing i'm alone rn bc if someone tried talking to me i'd probably bite their head off. i don't trust myself to speak kindly#politics#rambles#2024
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
The funeral
#ts4 gameplay#ts4 challenge#ts4 legacy challenge#ts4 screenshots#the light is AWFUL i'm sorry it was cloudy af (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻#anyway that was the spoiler 💔#Leif has always had the emotional intelligence of a rock lol#He's sad about the passing of his parents and he's hurt and angry because Jay has chosen to show his face NOW in this moment#But instead of TALKING to Jay like a mature grown-up man (which he isn't) he decides he's going to act like an asshole#Nothing new just Leif being Leif I guess#Have you seen Hope there?#She's not scared of Leif but of hearing her daddy talk in that tone#Jay has a special tone for Leif not exactly a growl but clear enough for everyone listening that he's not happy with the man's presence#this is part 1 of 3 btw 👀👀#I love Jay's profile. I have 6000 pictures of his profile I don't know why I just like how he looks 😩#pollock legacy#gen4#jay pollock#miracle holm#leif pollock#hope pollock
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.
#I lost all respect for that person honestly. I used to think they were quite cool. I put up with a lot of blatantly horrendous shit thinking#'surely it's only a defensive thing. Surely they're only talking about the sadness within their community rather than actively supporting#the mass killings of thousands of people. Surely they're a teacher they've got to have that empathy with kids being murdered'#No! The fucking full clownshow. And now I've been feeling like an idiot all day— like why did I go 'let it slide' x 100#why should *they* walk away feeling like they've got some sort of moral superiority here and why should I feel like I've been struck down?#Why am I the idiot that didn't block them four months ago#Anyway sorry to everyone who's had to watch me spam about one (1) negative interaction *all day long* it will subside soon#I'm just stinging from the fucking. Utter blindness.#We've always said someone's comfort doesn't override someone else's right to survival#as a literal genderqueer person they KNEW that. They'd uttered the same fucking sentence#but alas the pinkwashing that makes me so frustrated with Americans sometimes. It magically doesn't apply where racism is concerned ✨😃#The US really is bombs dropped by rainbow-painted aircrafts; that meme should not be this accurate#anyway I'm glad that person is not in my life anymore. I'm glad my dash has one less abomination to repeatedly show up on it#and I have every right to be angry and I will be. I just won't bother you lovely folks with it
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know how you've all experienced the year 2024, but I barely witnessed it, and I've been fighting for my life
#I've been in a constant state of flight and stress#there's been disaster after disaster#I didn't do a lot of fun things#and the things I did#I didn't enjoy very much or I don't remember them#I remember them as a fact (a mark on my calendar) but barely a memory let alone a feeling#I lost motivation for work and I fucked up a lot#my highs and lows have changed six times a day#like biblical proportions mood swings#lots of anger and sadness but they've barely registered either#way too much awareness in the present which was overwhelming but I haven't remembered them afterwards#or it just felt insignificant and boring#lots of doubts about myself lots of questions#it's been one crazy fucking year#usually I have some big grand plan or idea of how I want to do better next year#but now I'm just like ehh#which just raises more questions about wtf is wrong with me :)#haven't had a single day where I didn't wake up with a tension headache or pain in my neck or shoulders#or a single day amongst people where I didn't get agitated angry hurt feeling rejected#which hasn't happened all that much the past ten years so that's crazy#lots of old feelings. that I can handle now. no breakdowns or extreme sadness#it's just weird i dont understand myself at the moment#too lazy to grab my journal#(have been too lazy/bored/tired all year to spend any time on hobbies)#so the big rant goes here#I hope in 2025.... I get to calm the fuck down#i dont have a big plan or idea. I just want peace... and enjoyment...#looking back at my resolutions for 2024 is sad#im like that was me only a year ago what Happened?#personal
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway...
#good fckn riddance to this series#can't wait to OCify my faves#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk271#like...what a joke I'm not even angry Im just sad i kept up with updates more than anything else#every single character deserved better#megumi and gojo especially#but Gojo is my OC now so I'm like fine w it thank God i can draw lmao
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
LATEST LAES EPISODE. THOUGHTS.
MY THOUGHTS ARE THAT I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYY
Besides the fact that I am just insane for any and all Eclipse n Lunar interactions, everything that they talked about today was HUGE!!!!! Lunar took Eclipse's taunts and insults in stride, understood Eclipse, apologized for blowing him up, AND got him to talk about some of his fun hypocritical thought process!! THAT'S SO COOL!!!!!!
I won't lie I genuinely didn't process how big of a deal some of these were (like Lunar saying they betrayed Eclipse's trust) because its just something I've been so accustomed to for months already so they didn't even strike me as significant the first time around BUT I READ A FEW OTHER PPLS THOUGHTS AND I GET IT NOW GEJAGAJAHS
Lunar standing up to Eclipse like this is just, AUGH. So good. If you told Lunar in the first few months of their existence that they would ever get to this point I don't think they'd believe it.
Eclipse as a whole too,,, what is WRONG with him(/aff). From the fact that he doesn't have all of his memories anymore to his whole "I'm a clone and a copy of the original but I'm still better than everyone" thing to his little plan he's working on in secret, he is just so intriguing. ALSO???? HIS HIS OMG HIS LINE ABOUT HOW HE WAS PROUD WHEN LUNAR ELECTROCUTED HIM BECAUSE THEY "FINALLY GOT IT" WAS SO. AUAUAGHAGAHAHHAAAAAA I'M GOING INSANE. I'VE ALREADY RAMBLED SO MUCH SO TLDR; I LOVEEEEEDDDD TODAYS TLAES EP IT HAS SO MUCH JUICY SHIT <3<3<3<3<3
#asks#ichangenameseveryfiveseconds#I won't lie I keep thinking about Lunar's line about how they thought the show would make them happy but all it did was made Eclipse angry#like. i can imagine just how /agonizing/ that felt#to want nothing more than to be able to find happiness and comfort in someone you care about#so you try to find something to do /together/#but all it leads to is disappointment and anger on the other person's end#lunar probably tried to tell themselves over and over again that it would end up okay. that they WERE happy. :(#UGH its so sad for 1 million years. this poor poor soul. i'm happy they can finally confront their demons now but ghod. that probably-#-felt like such a fantasy when they were first made :(((#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#lunar and earth show#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#sams spoilers#laes spoilers#tsams spoilers#tlaes spoilers
19 notes
·
View notes