#I was actually at one point going to make a masterpost with all the clues that pointed to this and it included quotes by sara to the meaning | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rappaccini · 11 months ago

Text

something more notes.

only one masterpost this time, because this thing isn't nearly as dense as arachnophobia.

first of all, this is a companion fic to arachnophobia.

everything that happens here is canon to that story, and everything that happens there is canon to this. each chapter roughly syncs up between fics as well (arachnophobia 1 takes place at the same time as something more 1, etc).

the canon divergence can largely be summed up as 'gwen isn't into miles; she gets her own arc that centers her and not her relationship with him' and 'miles's arc is extended over a year to give him time to befriend more characters and dwell on certain plot beats.' if you want the month-by-month breakdown of where his atsv elements are rearranged, it's here, under the 'miles tangent' section.

chapter 1

margo goes to the peter parker institute of science and technology in the comics. (it's not clear if it's a high school or university)

spider-byte is her alter ego, who fights crime and helps people in virtual reality.

"her parents world" -- in atsv, margo always refers to her dimension as her 'parents' dimension' -- i try to do that here.

in margo's comics, she's introduced hunting down an identity thief. her vigilantism is more small-scale and mundane, being online.

so, things like password recovery, hacking, identity recovery, getting rid of bot farms. not really combat based.

the cyber crimes investigation is a police force in margo's comics. we so incognito is on a poster on movie margo's wall; it's either an organization or a piece of pop culture.

atsv-margo lost a captain of her own. she's one of the figures in that canon event montage. no clue who it is though so i simply made the rest up. (makes you wonder: how exactly does someone die in a virtual world?)

margo's rootkit will come back.

margo's tiger: tiny, tiny ref to mj's 'face it, tiger' line.

i spent a lot of time thinking about how a world where people spend all their time online works. people work and go to school at home, they receive all their purchases by delivery, and odds are, family dinners aren't really a thing, at least for the kesses.

major motif for this fic: margo feeling unentitled to her own feelings, both as a side character in a story she isn't allowed to have a major role in, and as a girl who's always interacting with people through a screen.

i'm not sure when earth-22191 is meant to be. presumably in the future, further ahead than miguel. my guess was 22nd or 23rd century.

margo sees miguel as a father figure.

miguel recruited margo for her coding skills in atsv. there's more to it than that in this fic.

being invited: miguel finally gets margo what she wanted from the organizations in her own world. she is seen, valued, and included.

ultimately, margo joins the ss because she wants to find people who care about her. all it would have taken to stop her was her parents being concerned.

"won the jackpot" ... tiny tiny ref to "face it tiger, line" x2.

according to atsv, margo's already in the ss by the time gwen joins.

web-slinger and spiders-man were featured with margo in vault of spiders, the comic where she debuts.

margosoft is in atsv-- it's on a few of the ss screens. presumably the software the watches, portal tech and go home machine operate on was designed by her.

'blow up the building'-- tiny detail on one of margo's screens. she's not just operating the go home machine; she's sending orders to members in the field.

margo wears glasses in this fic. she's blasting blue light into her eyeballs at point blank range 16 hours a day. that eyesight's fucked.

miguel stops paying attention to margo after he's gotten his os out of her, and once he knows he can trust her to follow orders. it actually has nothing to do with gwen's arrival, but margo doesn't know that.

there's no info on gwen-22191. made it up for this fic. presumably she dies young, as usual. and she's peter's science whiz girlfriend, as usual.

peter-22191 has no details about his life, apart from him being dead by the time margo's going to the school named after him. being an arachnologist was just a spider reference.

mary jane watson-22191 is a dead end instead of dead because she's not dead; she's margo.

i figured margo would probably be very protective of her little workspace so she does not like other people touching it.

margo's first impulse being to reach out to and befriend gwen is going to come back later.

gwen looking up her dead selves is expanded on in arachnophobia; this is just margo's side of that event. margo avoids gwen because 1) it understandably freaks her out.

2) she has very low self esteem and has picked up on how the society has put gwen on a pedestal; she assumes (wrongly) that gwen wouldn't want anything to do with her.

3) she's jealous. i think the margo-gwen jealousy onion is fascinating, and everyone does it a disservice by reducing it to ~two girls fighting over a boy~ or overcorrects by insisting they be ~two girls being bffs because they're two girls~.

no. let's peel this thing: margo and gwen both want what the other has, and that tension would've existed even without a boy in the picture. we'll go more into gwen's side later, but for now--

a) margo wants functional parental figures, and she views being discarded by miguel and ignored by jess, right as they give gwen special attention, as them choosing gwen over her.

b) margo joined the society to feel included, and everyone ignores her and lines up around the block to see gwen.

c) margo's uniqueness in the society is ignored. gwen's is celebrated. no one cares that there's only one spider-byte. everyone is invested in the one spider-gwen.

d) margo comes to hq to get away from a shitty home life and a dimension she feels like she doesn't belong in, but she hasn't actually physically left earth-22191. the society let gwen stay at hq full-time. margo would kill for that.

e) margo believes society propaganda about suffering being what makes you a better hero. there's no way she wouldn't look at gwen abandoning her world and her responsibilities as a moral failing, and being bitter that gwen is being 'rewarded' for it with special treatment.

f) margo wants to be loved by spider-man. gwen is the famous dead girlfriend on a pedestal. the same attention that gets gwen killed and makes her miserable would make margo happy, and she's bothered by how gwen takes it for granted.

margo is a teenage girl with low self esteem. she isn't considering that the attention and special treatment gwen's getting isn't a good thing, or that everyone would have ignored margo anyway. that's still to come.

on margo being a nobody: she's not, but she doesn't know it yet.

we end where we started: on margo, alone, feeling like her emotions about the way she's being treated and her desire to connect with people isn't valid.

chapter 2

i'm guessing the society started a little after itsv, so by the time gwen joins, it's been just under a year since it was founded, and by the time miles arrives, it's been a year and a few months.

one of margo's skills is creating digital doppelgangers of herself to outsource her work and be more efficient.

margo's fully tuned out. she has the work figured out and she knows no one's paying attention to her, so she's numbing herself to the situation by distracting herself.

she's watching streamers and reactors as ways to pantomime human interaction.

great, okay, fine comes from arachnophobia chapter 2. a motif that worked here too.

like in chapter 1, margo joined the society to lash out at her parents and test if they'd care. they still don't.

the web. play on world wide web and web of life and destiny.

thought i'd expand on how the spider-society has a hierarchy. yes, elite spider-people are members, but there's another rung up that ladder, and that's miguel and his inner circle-- the best of the best, who actually make the decisions. if the ss is obsessed with preserving canon, it follows that the people whose lives check off the most canon boxes are higher up on the totem pole.

so margo's at the bottom.

margo isn't the only one of her kind at the society. you'll know who they are by the end of this chapter.

like gwen, margo's an outlier in the society. unlike gwen, nobody cares about finding a place to make her fit. they've already dismissed her as only good for grunt work.

"pushing buttons and making vague gestures of support" -- what i'm worried the sv movies will make of margo. also, what the fandom thinks of margo.

margo's an avatar, yet she can interact physically with objects in hq. using miguel's holosuit as a reason why-- her avatar's made of the same stuff.

spinneret and the spider-women from 2301, 8545, 42124 and 12041 are all mj variants. they can tell she's one of them, even if they don't know what it means yet.

jessica's motives get a big exploration in arachnophobia 4, but the gist is: she decided to put herself over solidarity with her fellow jessica variants so she could get a high rank in the society. she's the only jessica and the only spider-woman, who matters. ignoring margo is an intentional choice on her part.

miguel dismissed margo once he was through using her. at least he's consistent. and hey, if he doesn't pay attention to you, he can't hurl verbal abuse at you.

look you can't tell me there wasn't at least one time where peter b accidentally handed margo the baby on autopilot, and margo accidentally accepted, and both forgot for a split second that margo can't actually hold mayday so they ended up technically dropping her.

taking that tiny moment of margo being annoyed at miles walking into her and pumping it full of air? hell yeah i am.

first moment of true canon divergence reached: miles joins the spider-society formally instead of inviting himself there.

the moment of ~mysterious connection~ between miles and margo set my brain on fire. this fic exists largely because i just wanna tinfoil about what the hell that is.

margo's constantly on the society computers, overseeing the anomalies. she has to know miles is one. which means she's also complicit in the big lie about him.

margo has no peripheral vision in a vr headset.

miles is the first person who can actually capture margo's full attention because of that connection. she wants to be fully engaged by and vulnerable with him.

spider-byte is a pun on spider bite. great name!

miles likes smart girls: thinking gwen was a fellow gifted kid helped him develop his crush on her. it'll draw him to margo too.

overall in this fic i'm trying to balance margo's actual behavior at home with how she presents her avatar. since she spends all her time alone online, this girl's gonna be awkward.

margo has no spider-powers. the avatar has all her abilities.

you can't tell me miles's lightning palms wouldn't absolutely fuck margo's gear up. or that she wouldn't be pissed about it.

when margo's moving so fast she spits out other versions of herself, that's called an echo trail.

i simply think it's relevant that miles has the power to turn invisible, and margo's invisible whether she likes it or not.

margo's trying to warn miles that miguel and the society aren't great company.

remember, miles wanted to join the ss and thought the place was awesome at first. i'm just taking that beat and expanding it since his arc's getting stretched from a few days to a few months. therefore, he's gonna drink the society kool aid.

... it must take gwen and hobie fucking forever to put those shoes on, though.

it's a running joke in this fic that people keep fucking with margo's hq workstation.

there's concept art floating around of miles watching titanic and crying. referenced that here because i think it's funny.

one of the most important things about miles as a character is that he's all about inclusion. thematically, and in terms of personality: if he sees somebody being left out, he wants to bring them in and make them feel like they belong.

it's also a compelling flaw: he wants to be included. miles doesn't just want to be a good spider-man. he wants to be the best. that meant wanting to join the society. that'll mean, if he did get to join, wanting to be one of its leaders.

background note: in this fic, the ss does have mileses in it. they're just minor members who have little sway and are typically looked down upon.

had to bring up the 'is miles spider-man' debate. the ss is an allegory for society as much as it is for the spider-man canonmakers and fandom. they'd get into discourse about it.

in arachnophobia, miguel lets miles in because gwen kept asking him to. more on that there.

the source of gwen's jealousy's going to get a focus later.

at least in arachnophobia, gwen's comphetting her way through her miles crush.

"no one notices because there aren't many girls in the society" -- sorry! getting salty! you can tell gwen's written by dudes in these movies.

this fic is a metatext on how margo's treated by canon and fandom. she knows she's the disposable second girl in the love triangle who'll be expected by the fans (... and possibly written by the writers) to inexplicably be the supportive bestie who wingmans her crush into getting with another girl.

gwen and hobie. margo knows about them. more to come on that.

detailed earth-8 hate can be found here under "earth-8 notes"

margo having a courtside seat to this drama means she can be objective about it: the earth-8 speed date is creepy, cringy and gross. and gwiles as a couple are not the fairy tale ending everyone wants them to be.

salt! of course a bunch of white nerdy guys think the best canon subversion for spider-gwen is swapping out what guy she belongs to.

salt! it's not a coincidence that the white nerdy guys writing these movies (and the comic the gwiles romance is based on) gave miles a white girlfriend, or made their kids (their daughter specifically; their son's just blue-eyed miles) racially ambiguous. when writers create bad romances, its often because they force the character they identify with to pair off with the one they're most attracted to.

settler and sellout: what gwen and miles-8 are.

the unbreakup is much more detailed in arachnophobia ch 2.

the society were listening.

a hill i intend to die on: margo is an mj variant.

chapter 3

characters in alternate comics worlds tend to appear in cohorts. peter, gwen and mj are usually always a set, as are miles and ganke.

but there are exceptions: on earth-65a, flash thompson is gwen's high school gym teacher instead of her classmate, for instance.

and on earth-22191, margo is 200-ish years behind all her friends.

margo-is-an-mj is just a headcanon (for now 🤞), so knowing her peter parker is definitely dead led to a bit of extrapolation: if margo's totally alone in her world, then the rest of the empire state gang are probably gone too.

being left to one's devices. wordplay is fun.

in an all-online world i figure memorials are probably interactive. like facebook pages full of messages, videos and photos.

fic-gwen-22191 died in the 80s (her birthyear is the year of her first appearance, 1965. add 19 years to get to her death age), so she would be gone before that would have been possible. therefore, she doesn't get one. (+another gwen who's totally in the shadow of her boyfriend.)

in a world where everyone interacts via avatars, i figure facetune/image manipulation is the norm. nobody shows you their actual, unmanipulated face until you're very close friends.

so margo had a lot of culture shock at the society. being around masked people would've felt more normal than seeing all those faces.

and therefore, seeing the gang in photos pre-image manipulation, around the 1980s, would have a strong effect on margo. in a way, she is getting to see her friends' faces.

people typically aren't gorgeous in their natural states. they look better that way, when they're real.

ai: i figure margo's world is so deeply entrenched in tech that it's taken over entertainment. there aren't any career actors or musicians anymore; you just prompt an ai to give you what you want.

therefore, an 80s sitcom starring margo and her dead friends. it's very macabre.

the silver spoon is where the 616 empire state gang hung out during the college years in the late 60s.

i figure margo's probably programmed herself a few artificial boyfriends and friends over the years. if she's that talented at coding and she's that lonely, she would.

margo isn't thrilled about going to college because in her world, it just means staying at home even longer.

mj and harry both have dysfunctional families.

if mj and peter parker are such a universal pairing, margo would wonder if she and her peter would've fallen in love.

... and if she and her gwen would've fought over him. it's wild that the mj-peter-gwen love triangle was two best friends who are technically dating the same guy and competing for him. it is WILD that peter and mj get together because she swoops in on her best friend's boyfriend right after she dies.

"painting our nails and sharing secrets" will come back.

margo's the hero of her world. she wouldn't assume peter's the spider; she'd assume she still would be.

margo trying to make a connection in her world and failing was important to include.

in a world where everyone's online, the city's probably very quiet.

the fact about stars is true.

miles morales is an anime fan. there's no way he wouldn't try to get peni to watch it with him.

and there's no way peni wouldn't have opinions about it.

real friends aren't people you can turn off or reprogram when they annoy you. getting to know them takes effort, which is why the connections matter. margo's starting to learn that.

margo probably gets no sleep. that girl's chugging monster like it's water and making energy drink jungle juice in her spare time.

margo would probably be a gamer. thought it'd be fun if she and peni swapped recs. (the one they're talking about is hatoful boyfriend. the doctor route is indeed batshit crazy.)

i think peni and margo would be great friends. i wanted to give them that here.

chapter 3 ii

also: miles hanging out with peni and margo is a ripple effect from arachnophobia-- i hate that the writers made ambiguously queer girls' girl gwen into someone who only interacts positively with men and has only male friends. the bare minimum would've been giving miles a female friend group to balance it out. so for these fics, that's what i did.

post-unbreakup miles is not taking it well. there's one more big event between it and this scene between margo, peni and miles that'll be mentioned later.

as a reminder, this is a canon divergent au where gwen and miles do not get together, and gwen gets an arc on par with miles's. that's in arachnophobia.

and since this is a companion to arachnophobia, a lot of character and plot beats rhyme-- like miles and gwen both interacting with their earth-8 selves. in miles's case, he admires him and wants to emulate him.

because he views gwen's rejection of him as a sign that she thinks he's an incompetent hero who can't save her, he's trying to overcompensate by showing everyone how great a spider-man he is. it's wearing him down.

ss as an allegory for the writers and the fandom: miles getting gwen as his girlfriend makes him more impressive to them because she's the shiniest, most conventionally-attractive, most unattainable love interest. if he can't land her, they'll look down on him.

(which is why earth-8 miles is both gross and fascinating: literally, when the writers created their ideal miles, they made him joined at the hip with his gwen. creepy implications.)

kid arachnid, spy d and spin are all alternate names miles has had in continuities where he and peter are heroes together.

the spider-society only legitimizes miles-8, the palatable one who sold out his authenticity for greater appeal and uses gwen as a symbol of that.

there's no way margo doesn't have a folder of security footage highlights featuring the cringiest spider-person moments.

jess in the comics eats butter to cope with pregnancy cravings

hobie's facial hair: ref to earlier concept art of him. it did not look good.

hobie's doing disruption in plain sight: intentionally covering up security cameras while pretending it's just vandalism.

re: miles and hobie. people forget that miles spends all of atsv hating on the guy (he only changes his mind when hobie helps him escape). extending that out = miles wasn't exactly friendly with him for that month before the earth-8 blowup. and there's no way a 15yo boy is gonna be nice to the guy he thinks his crush rejected him for. there's a bit more that happened there, but that'll be discussed later.

"betrayal" -- salt about the fandom's take that gwen and hobie having a relationship would somehow make them traitors to miles. what betrayal? she was never miles's girlfriend (if anything she friendzoned him) and hobie never met the guy. they don't owe him shit!

re: miles's feelings. one of the biggest issues with atsv is it wants so badly to critique the spiderman canon without acknowledging that it is a part of that canon and not the exception to it. miles is spider-man, a superhero who takes after that old western storytelling tradition of 'super special male protagonist whose actions and desires are more important than everyone else's.' if he really wants to be different, we have to unpack that idea too.

so, miles, like miguel/peter b/jess/the elite ss members, thinks that his feelings are inherently more important than everyone else's-- important enough to somehow convince gwen, who hasn't seen or spoken to him in 1.5 years, to put her entire life on hold and never move on with anyone else.

he's also a 15yo boy. he woulda thought that regardless.

people keep calling this ship 'star-crossed.' it can't be star-crossed if fate itself is trying to get them together, which it is because the writers are.

margo's in high school. shakespeare's gonna be one of the things she studies. even if she has to translate it first.

'star-crossed' comes from romeo and juliet. you know the one.

and the taming of the shrew's another of shakespeare's plays. ostensibly a romance, about a powerful man who psychologically breaks down an independent woman's sense of willpower until she agrees to marry him and be the most perfect obedient wife, where the only consolation to the reader is, hey, at least she has a respectable position within patriarchy now. that's exactly what the spider-society's doing to gwen, what miles-8 did to gwen-8, and what miles is being encouraged to participate in and would have to do to be with her. more on that in arachnophobia.

another plus of miles hanging out with girls: they can help him understand how bullshit the gwen stacy hero complex is (no girl would want to fall off a bridge so her bf can look cool saving her) and how creepy being tied across dimensions is.

gwen-65 canonically hates babies and has no maternal instinct. motherhood is something she isn't interested in and would never choose. makes the 'perfect future' where she has a nuclear family with miles all the more questionable. it's not HER perfect future, it's his.

it also makes comics-gwen's reaction to it (confusion, then immediate revulsion) make sense. the best possible future for her and miles is one that would make her miserable so of course she runs for the hills.

comics-miles, though, gets most of what he wanted out of it, so naturally, he keeps a torch lit for a while.

examining that here: fic-miles can kind of tell that something about earth-8 is off, but since that future still looks on the surface like everything he thinks he wants (respect and renown from his public and his peers, a team of heroes to work with, kids someday, and a romantic partner who is a fellow superhero), he's clinging to it.

margo regresses to tabsurfing to pull her attention away from this conversation because it's too emotionally draining.

and miles notices because it's unusual for her to do that with him.

i'm sorry! i hate gwiles! gotta point out all the problems with it! shit like, they genuinely don't know anything about each other except vague superficial things they both share.

gwen doesn't go to visions in the comics, she goes to midtown. the fic marries those two by saying 'gwen's temporarily going to visions because midtown was destroyed when she fought peter'

fandom salt: the fans loooove ballerina gwen, even though gwen never once mentions being a ballerina, ditches the pointe shoes and only discusses her love of music. and there are more drawings of gwen dancing than drumming in his sketchbook, so i guess miles prefers that side of her too. he's telling on himself.

salt: kinda hate that the movies totally neglected gwen's female friend group and made her a guys' girl.

salt: the 'self-love' coi leray song played over gwen's intro is gorgeous. it also doesn't sound like anything gwen would listen to and is massively out of place in earth-65, the rock music dimension. it sounds like something miles would listen to while thinking of gwen. very... apt. given that the movie totally rewrites gwen to make her more compatible with him.

fandom salt: no way would that queer punk girl listen to taylor swift you idiots.

gwen's middle name is actually a secret thing. sv gwen is transcoded, and fic-sv gwen is explicitly trans. her deadname was femmed up and turned into her middle name. miles is technically right: she does not want people using it.

one of the reasons i want mj variant margo so bad is the thematic relevance it would have. one would think that the logical next step in a trilogy of movies all about the importance of a black spider-man would be including a black mj.

miles and miguel are alike in a lot of ways. including how they both think they're better than their own canons and want to be the exception to it (in order to obtain or keep a gwen/gabi).

miles is mostly offscreen in arachnophobia, so his arc is mostly implied. since margo spends most of her time with him, this was a chance to touch on it: he needs to understand that he isn't the exception.

22191 worldbuilding: one would think in an all-online world that social interactions can be archived. ergo, margo can watch her parents chatlogs and social media posts like they're home movies.

and in an all-online world, you meet and date online too. meeting up in person is probably like moving in together, if not synonymous.

and as is often the case... sometimes, the person you think you're meant to be with turns out to be someone else when you spend more time with them and your mental picture of them has to reconcile with the real thing.

and sometimes it's too painful to admit that, so people don't, and they keep clinging to their idea of the person even as it gets further from the truth.

miles and gwen are this in a nutshell. the most positive i can be about sv gwiles is that they seem like they would've made great high school sweethearts post-itsv. if they'd stayed in contact, they would've paired up, stayed together for most of high school (... to me, that 17 month timeskip feels like the amount of time they'd have lasted), and eventually drifted back into friendship.

but they didn't. they spent a year and a half with zero contact, romanticizing the idea of each other. now that idea is stronger than the connection they made originally because they don't know each other at all. if they get together now, they'll just be chasing romances they made up in their heads, and the longer they stick together the more unfulfilling, stagnating and ultimately toxic that dynamic will become.

add that to miles's spider-man complex: he thinks of himself as a good person, and is mistaking that for being good for gwen. those things are different.

margo gets this. she is a product of that kind of relationship.

margo making ai boyfriends is a parallel to miles sketching gwen: it's art, but it's also not the real thing.

margo's ai sitcom of her dead friends is what solidified that for her.

miles has further to go before he gets it. his feelings for gwen are so wrapped up in a need for belonging and validation that he has to satisfy that first before he moves on.

we arrive at the part where margo's supposed to give that motivational speech that gets gwiles together.

this is a meta text, and margo's role in the story, at least as of atsv, is 'disposable second corner of the love triangle.' the expected outcome for her character is that she'll do something selfless to make gwiles get together, step out of the way for them and/or conveniently no longer be competition.

saying the quiet part out loud: the one time mj's black, spider-man skips her for gwen? okay. it's like that.

if the sv movies really want to break canon, then they should do the opposite. let the hero and his designated girlfriend decide to stay friends, and make margo the endgame love interest instead.

taking shots at the fandom for reinforcing the idea that margo's a supportive bestie, ~sister-coded~ (gotta go for a pun there), a matchmaker, the butt of some joke about miles wasting his time before he pairs off with the fandom-preferred girl, or the disposable black love interest. (... and possibly firing off a warning shot at btsv if that's what they do with her)

discovering she's an mj made margo realize she isn't a nobody and gave her the confidence to demand better treatment. she might not be miles's mj, but she still is one, and she's going to claim all the things mj is entitled to.

so she uses some of that mj fire and stands up for herself. no, she's not going to help him make nice with gwen, and she's making it clear that she's a contender for his feelings.

miles can clearly tell that margo likes him. so if in btsv he treats her like that disposable friend, keeps flirting with her, and gets with gwen anyway? dick move.

dick move here too. he isn't maliciously playing with her feelings, but he is hanging out with a girl he knows is into him (and doesn't think will stand up to him about it) to make himself feel good.

"don't be mean" = subconscious little women ref.

because it IS mean. the mj-spider-man-gwen love triangle is, when not written well, such a shitty treatment of these girls. the sv movies are making it even worse.

margo's given miles a lot to think about. more on that soon.

"knowing it's not supposed to count, wanting it to, and doing it anyway" will come back too.

and ending on a note of self-confidence. yes, margo told him how she feels. more importantly, she's realizing she'll be fine without him and won't tolerate bad treatment.

chapter 4

'abyss' is a term that comes up a lot in arachnophobia. thought i'd add it somewhere in this fic

so's 'i'm you and you're me'

margo getting on with her life and focusing on her own situation will pop up again soon.

this chapter concerns why margo's status as an mj is so controversial and why even her own alternate selves can't wrap their minds around it.

for better or worse, margo's more visible now. which means she's visible enough for miguel to get angry at her.

re: jess. one of the biggest things about her canon characterization is her lack of solidarity. she didn't protect gwen, she didn't protect miles. she wouldn't protect margo. at least in these fics, jessica drew-332 cares so much about the mission that she'd throw anyone under the bus for it, and she believes as long as she personally gets a comfy spot at the top of the hierarchy, she doesn't mind what happens to anyone else.

also given timeline creep, jess had her baby by now.

the anomaly that's dimension-jumping will come back.

margo's home is minimalist and full of soft things and dull colors because for people who are constantly stimulated by the internet, they'd probably want somewhere calming to escape to. gotta extrapolate those white bedroom walls somehow.

touch as a motif pops up again here.

peter having photos of gwen in his house is first mentioned in arachnophobia.

peter parker gives me overworked ta vibes, and if mj's based on raimi mj, then she would've been a model/actress for a while.

og 616 gwen stacy was a football fan.

peter b recognizing his wife in margo is what made him stick up for, and bend the rules for her.

had to use that hologram effect of the portal watch for something. why not margo making house calls?

... something tells me margo makes ai art. and miles has opinions about it.

margo recording her conversations for later comes back at the end of this chapter.

mj facts: she was originally intended to be a running joke about 'the girl next door peter's aunt keeps trying to hook him up with' before she became The Love Interest, so mj has a history of knowing about peter but being unacknowledged by him until college. i've always really liked this. important people creep up on you.

'she's not the only one'-- another arachnophobia motif

in this chapter, we need to demolish the gwen jealousy. best way to do that is 1) let margo have a big jealous rant to get those feelings out, and

2) have the source refute that idea and tell her that the situation's more complicated: gwen isn't some superior girl waving her boyfriend in mj's face; they were best friends who respected each other even when they liked the same guy, and while gwen and peter were together, mj got on with her life. the ~catty jealousy~ was a misunderstanding of the situation, usually by the men reading and writing those comics who like watching two hot girls fight over their self-insert.

since the society's based on those guys, it follows that margo would learn about the love triangle in that context, and her insecurities would be inflamed by it.

(i'm not thrilled about mj chastising margo. but if a girl starts talking shit about your murdered best friend, you're gonna shut her up. especially if she's a tenth grader.)

'love's not a competition' comes back in 5.

'in name only' -- margo isn't. the more you examine her character and where she appears in the sv narrative, the more in common with mj you find.

it's important to note that the mjs aren't rejecting margo out of malice, like miguel is. they're just so set in their perceptions of themselves that it's hard to imagine something different-- much like how margo was in denial about being an mj at all.

(sidebar: or like how it took gwen months to realize gayatri's a gwen variant)

in these fics, meeting your alt-self tends to be a good experience. that's you, after all. of course they're going to instantly empathize and care about each other. but there are going to be bumps in the road.

also. fandom salt! at the people who won't let a certain black spider-man character be called by that title, and keep insisting, sometimes with good but misguided intentions, sometimes knowing damn well what they're saying, that they should ~be their own person.~ you know who i'm talking about.

miles babysitting mayday comes up in arachnophobia. fun to see it here.

bringing back margo's eavesdropping habit.

if miles is at the society, he's gonna ask at some point why his universe is 1610b. which means he's gotta learn about a.

new holes in the multiverse: coming back later.

btsv is absolutely going to do a metacommentary on how shitty it was to destroy 1610a to force miles into 616a. thought i'd incorporate that here: miles is starting to catch on that nobody wants him to have his own world, and now that he knows that the last miles-1610 lost his, he's getting paranoid.

and peter b, while well-intentioned in wanting to look after him and promising him a place in 616, doesn't get it.

atsv salt: makes no sense to me that peter b would be so hands-off when he had such a great bond with miles in itsv. part of the reason for having him join the ss was so they could reestablish that mentorship.

including miles dropping into peter's dimension when he needs space, like he does here.

peter and mj are 100% talking about miles and margo. and putting it together that they aren't giving them the best advice.

the captain event: in this fic, miles's father is promoted a few months later than normal, and his death event is even further ahead (and not calculated yet). this was so he wouldn't flip his shit and ditch the ss before he could explore it.

the earlier mention of margo breaking her own distancing rule to help miles figure out when he'd die referred to this. she's been there too, she's a kind person, and she cares about him. she would.

now, after months of drinking society kool-aid, running himself ragged trying to prove himself, slowly realizing he'll never belong, and now learning that one of the deaths he's most afraid of is on the horizon (but not imminent), miles is cracking up. hence, wearing his spider-suit all the time, fighting with his dad to get him to quit. ignoring that he's grounded to keep spider-manning.

another divergence: pav's captain event is pushed back too. you'll see why.

... look if miles finds out an alt-him has a baby sister, he'll definitely put his foot in his mouth trying to figure out if he's gonna get one too. especially if he's running on ten minutes of sleep, thirty redbulls and a looming sense of existential dread.

mj and peter b put together what they were doing wrong. "i feel it" is both an apology and an acknowledgment of what margo's looking for.

margo not being physically present in any of her interactions with miles, and the disconnect that causes, comes back at the end of this chapter. the lack of reaction to the humidity is just setting that up.

fun fact: back to the future was originally meant to star eric stultz. michael j fox replaced him.

the 1610 to 616 salt was also a way to help margo put together that she wouldn't mind sharing a world with someone.

however, she still believes the ss doctrine about being miserable making you a better hero.

margo doesn't look at the love triangle as a competition anymore, so she's able to talk about gwen without getting mad.

'doing both' -- motif from atsv. and what all the society mjs are in fact doing-- being love interests AND heroes.

an aside, to list all the things margo kess has in common with mj watson.

both are spunky young women from dysfunctional families who badly want affection and a functional, loving home.

both are introduced in the narrative after spider-man has already formed a romantic attachment with gwen stacy, and though they have instant chemistry with spider-man, he prioritizes gwen over her.

both are pitted against gwen stacy over spider-man's affection. sigh.

both already know spider-man's secret identity (... in margo's case, that miles is an anomaly) when they meet him. and both quietly keep this secret.

both have a love of fashion and visual aesthetics-- mj's a model; margo's constantly changing her avatar's hair and makeup.

both keep spider-man's secrets and intimately understand his struggles in a way nobody else does.

both have the capacity to become superheroes in their own right.

both aren't at a risk of being fridged.

both are up front about their crushes on spider-man. sure they start out as friends but it's clear they're into each other.

(beyond here's all relevant to the fic only.)

both take a while to be noticed by spider-man. in mj's case she was an invisible neighbor for years. in margo's, she's a friend who isn't taken seriously as a romantic option for months.

both get on with their lives while they wait. mj sees other people, margo hangs out with peni and tries reaching out to the mjs.

gwen ultimately brings them together. for mj, it's her death. for margo... it'll be something else.

it's a rocky road to getting together, but at the end of the day, spider-man always comes back to them, and they end up together.

thank you. back to 4:

anyway. it's insane to me how textbook an mj variant margo is.

which makes you wonder: why doesn't anyone talk about this? i'm absolutely not the first person to come up with this idea (i got it from a convo with a friend), but it's very rare to see anyone consider it.

rhetorical question. if margo were a white girl with red hair, or even just a white girl, the margo's-an-mj theories would be a lot more popular and so would interest in her character.

the disconnect is that margo's black (and not ambiguous, not light-skinned or biracial. she's a black girl with afrocentric features, a heavier body type, brown skin and natural hair.). this is a meta fic. had to bring that up. the ss is a stand-in for the writers, audience and fandom, so all the hangups they have will be reflected in the society.

if spider-byte's an avatar that can look like anything, then margo made her recognizably black for a reason. it is important to margo that the people of her world know their spider-hero is a black girl.

it's important for the people watching these movies (especially the kids) to know that mj can be a black girl too.

miles and margo are in the same boat. both of them are their canon's incarnation of an iconic character in the spider-man story, but both are disrespected and ignored by both writers and fandom because they're black.

therefore, margo's the person who can help miles piece this together. not gwen. not even hobie.

which is where the meta comes in: yes, it matters that margo has her own world and her own identity as byte... but that world and identity aren't particularly respected. it would be very easy for her to fall into obscurity and vanish, which is often the fate of marginalized characters with original stories; they get an initial push, then fall away and vanish.

spider-man and mj are indisputably vital characters to the spider-man canon. they'll always exist, and always be retold and reinterpreted in new stories. they have gravity and reach. their stories are agreed upon by EVERYONE as important.

and if the story's important, then anyone should be able to take part in it. that is why a black spider-man matters.

mj, in spider-man stories, is typically the pinnacle of love and desirability. she's not just a love interest; she's the love interest. she's the girl the hero ends up with who's so irreplaceable and beloved by the writers and fandom that they keep being drawn to each other whenever the story's retold, and when she takes a minute to show up, she's demanded. when you gatekeep what mj's allowed to look like, you are telling people what kind of person is worthy of love. that's why a black mj matters.

it's also why a romance between a black spider-man and a black mj would be so groundbreaking. (... more groundbreaking than the black spider-man sticking with the white gwen stacy he barely knows and puts on a pedestal.)

sidebar: diverging from sv canon here to change the ss's perception of miles. it was important that he be able to interact with other mileses, so they had to be in the ss, but also to acknowledge that even though miles-1610b was blocked from entry because of 42, they're all dealing with the same shit.

... even miles-8. even the ~perfect future~ for miles is one where he can't keep his own world and has to move to a new one he has to share with his white wife. she's definitely not his equal there, but he still has to have her (aka proximity to a white person) to have the status.

sidebar over. that staticky feeling is miles's hand zapping margo's with a bit of bioelectricity. he's trying to hold her hand, but she doesn't pick up on it.

(... yes, miles and margo sitting vertically on the top of a skyscraper at dawn, and him trying and failing to hold her hand is an inversion of miles and gwen, upside-down on a clocktower at sunset, where he tries and fails to hold her hand. one is a relationship that's topsy-turvy by nature, one's putting miles right side up again. one's at the end of the day/when time's running out, one's starting a new one. one involves miles totally misunderstanding his female love interest and imposing his feelings on her. the other's when he finally listens to her and finds the understanding he needs.)

anyway, because of this conversation with margo, about the importance of claiming these legacy titles in spite of who's gatekeeping them, miles is ready to ditch the society.

he's just got one more hangup: he's worried that on his own, he won't be able to help his father and gwen, people he cares about, from dying.

which margo helps him with as well: the society won't help, so you might as well do it yourself.

which brings us to pav. when miles interferes with his captain canon event in this fic, he's making an intentional, informed decision.

and he's also fully aware that he'll get kicked out for it, so he's trying to let margo know that he has feelings for her without leading her on given that 1) she just chewed him out for doing that, 2) massively misreading shit with gwen fucked up two friendships and he doesn't want to repeat that with margo, and 3) he thinks he's getting kicked out. bad time to start something you can't finish.

"seeing me" -- lifted from the atsv script.

margo watching her old conversations returns. more on what exactly she's doing this for next time, but essentially, with distance, margo now realizes that miles has reciprocated her feelings.

chapter 5

"wrecking ball" -- lifted from arachnophobia.

margo was rewatching that rerun to look for signs that miles was going to fuck up pav's canon. she found them, and now knows he did it on purpose.

the fic-equivalent to miles's conflict at hq is him returning after intentionally ruining pav's captain canon event, getting chewed out publicly by miguel for it, starting a fight with him, and getting suspended.

changes as follows: miles isn't a rogue anomaly who escaped his dimension, turned up in another, and fucked up the story there after a nuclear threat to the multiverse (the spot) escaped; he's a well-known member of the society who broke a big rule-- don't interfere with someone else's story. and the spot wasn't responsible for the captain's almost-death, so there wasn't even an anomaly angle to it. and, jeff's death doesn't have a set timer on it to lock miles up to keep. therefore, there's no hundred-spider chase to the moon. it simply never gets to that point.

also, peter b pulls rank to protect miles because i'm salty about how atsv made him useless when he (not gwen) should've been the one most in miles's corner.

hobie gets involved in the fight to preserve the element of hobie having miles' back in this moment. here, instead of refusing to take part, he intervenes to protect him.

miles is getting a suspension... that miguel will never end.

this fic extends the narrative elements of atsv-- like hobie immediately wanting to befriend miles... and miles disliking hobie out of insecurity and jealousy until hobie sticks up for him at hq. this was that moment.

hobie brown was the original 616 prowler decades before miles (and aaron) came along. he was almost always the prowler, and punk is the only time he's a spider-man. contrast to miles, who's usually a spider-man and rarely the prowler.

all hobie's big disruptive actions are to cover smaller strategic moves.

i figure the same solidarity margo and hobie feel towards miles they'd feel towards each other. hobie's always in the field and margo's always at hq, so they don't interact much, but they won't tell on each other.

hobie's from '78. he's a genius, but he's still gonna take a second to adapt to future tech.

running joke: people fucking up margo's computers.

miles was avoiding hobie. hobie wasn't avoiding miles.

in the comics, jess uses a donor to get pregnant.

arachnophobia goes into this more, but the angle i'm going with for gwiles-8 is that they are not the happy supercouple everyone thinks they are.

in these fics, i'm swapping gwen's feelings for peter, miles and hobie. ergo: she's comphetting her way through her friendships with peter and miles, and she wants a real relationship with hobie. more on that in arachnophobia.

i do find it fascinating that both gwen and hobie are so physically affectionate with all their friends... except each other. probably the animators wanting to make sure miles's designated gf can't get too touchy with the guy he's worried about. but fuck it i'll make it mean something.

also, margo fixating on touch.

meta time: margo is ignored or looked down on by fandom at large because she's a black girl. hobie was perceived as a threat because he's a black boy.

(miles is also treated badly for this reason and a lot of his character's execution is the way it is to make sure the white audience remains comfortable with him. including the gwen ship. his atsv metanarrative's about a black boy struggling to find acceptance from white people, and weighing how much of himself is worth giving up in order to get it. translated here as miles' antics to get the society to tolerate him.)

with hobie, that's a steeper hill to climb (on top of racism, there are the added factors of classism and homophobia), and it's built into his character that he'd never climb it.

it's not surprising that people reacted to the possibility of gwen and hobie being a couple (which is teased in the comics) with confusion that they would be capable of being attracted to each other, shitty jokes about the relationship being superficial, or disgust at the thought of them being together.

all that pearlclutching about hobie being an adult somehow... gee. wonder why people have trouble believing he's a teen.

plus all the 'boys and girls can be friends' statements that only ever get thrown at them and margo/miles and never at gwen and miles, who ended itsv by telling each other they wanted to stay friends. nice sentiment, but if you apply it selectively, all you're doing is trying to police shipping.

fandom treatment of hobie's a seesaw: to some fans he's a hypersexual predatory douchebag who only keeps gwen around for sex, to others he's a wholesome, nonthreatening, asexual ~big brother~ who'd never lay a finger on her.

the second camp sprung up in response to the first, and are so busy patting themselves on the back for not being blatantly racist that they haven't considered that they've done nothing to address the actual problem: the expectation that a relationship between gwen and hobie would be inherently predatory. (if anything, all they're doing is agreeing with that statement, and sidestepping it by saying "but don't worry, it didn't happen...")

... if it did, it wouldn't be a bad thing. it just wouldn't.

miles will be defined by his achievements, so a romantic endgame that isn't the preferred option will be looked down on, but not overshadow him as a person. gwen will be defined by her relationships, and her role in the story (in the society) is dependent on choosing the right boy to be with. if she ends up with the 'wrong guy,' people are gonna be pissed.

(and on a societal level: consider how society reacts when white girls and black boys pair off. especially white girls with overprotective patriarchs who have 'reserved' them for someone else, like gwen, and black boys who look and act like hobie.)

feeding that meta into the spider-society metaphor = if hobie and gwen pair off, there will be consequences. likely violent ones, with the violence being taken out largely on him.

hobie and gwen know this, and are evasive for their safety.

margo and hobie are in the same position: they're the disposable corners of the love triangle who have better chemistry and stronger potential with the main pair than they do with each other. they're here to incite jealousy and then be wingmen.

if the sv movies really want to challenge canon, they should be the ones to win out in the end.

credit to atsv for subverting the idea of hobie as a mean older ~bad boy~ rival for gwen's affection by making hobie supportive and kind to miles (and gwen. he's not a manipulative or shallow bad boy miles needs to ~save~ her from. he's a good guy who DOES have her best interests at heart, probably more than anyone in the entire film, including miles).

... that being said (@ the fandom:) hobie is not a yes man. look at how he treats gwen when she does things he disagrees with: he voices his disapproval, encourages her to stop, and refuses to go along with it... while also not freezing her out.

if he's like that with a girl he's been friends with for months, who's slept over at his place many times, who he has romantic feelings for, he'll probably be tougher on a boy he doesn't know well.

especially when that girl is the topic of conflict, as it goes in this fic.

so: when miles comes to hobie and asks him to respect society hierarchy and end whatever it is he's doing with gwen so miles can have her, and to help get them together, hobie refuses.

there's more to the fight, but that's the basis of the falling out.

chapter 5, ii

people have a kneejerk hatred of love triangles. part response to bad writing, part twilight backlash, part wanting the couple to get together with no competition or conflict.

it's also that people want for the character they project onto to end up with the character they're personally attracted to the most. which is why internalized bias is so important to confront: it's real fucking clear why margo and hobie aren't considered as serious contenders.

margo's peter and hobie's gwen are both dead. technically, they're out of the running.

hobie's dealing with the same shit as margo. both joined the ss looking for community, found out it's full of bullshit, met someone who sees and appreciates them, start to develop a bond with that person... and are told by everyone that what they have isn't legitimate, because it's not the romance the general audience want.

hobie seesaw vent ii: even the less misogynistic corner of the hypersexual hobie brigade see him as a shallow fling for gwen to ~get her bad boy phase out on~ before she departs for a 'respectable' relationship with miles. never mind that spider-gwen doesn't want and doesn't do well in 'respectable' heterosexual relationships.

(which is ironic because in atsv, hobie's the one who actually fulfills the tradition of meeting the dad of the girl he likes and gaining his respect before giving her a ring-shaped piece of jewelry in a little box that makes it possible for them to be together. albeit, in the very hobie way of yelling at that dad for mistreating his daughter, facilitating their reunion and giving her the watch so she can leave him if she doesn't want to stay.)

the other end of the seesaw: hobie's a chaperone to keep gwen in line until it's time for miles to come take custody of her. there's such a strong 'gwen needs to save her body for miles' vibe to the way people talk about her relationships with other guys that i find disgusting.

and nonsensical. why would the spider-punk believe in bro code.

miles-hobie fight dripfeed 2: the falling-out was over gwen, but it was about hobie's disappointment in miles for becoming the kind of guy who'd view a girl he likes as a prize to win. that's why he put his foot down and said he wouldn't budge.

hobie and gwen's dynamic is more central in arachnophobia 5, but the gist is they're doing relationship anarchy. no labels, no commitment, no exclusivity, no making a big deal of it. if being spider-man's girlfriend kills gwen stacy, if she's not his girlfriend, then technically she's safe, right?

in these fics i to walk hobie's development back from the atsv incarnation to give him an arc. he's great in atsv! he just doesn't grow or change at all. not doable here.

he starts these fics as an isolated kid with a martyr complex ready to devote himself to spider-punk and the ideology he represents. through gwen, he realizes how harmful his death wish is, pulls back, starts embracing his humanity again and fine-tunes his mindset into the "love each other" message he has by the time miles shows up (which is what he has in atsv).

hobie's methodical nature probably makes him an overthinker. which leads to being a worrier.

the h/g emotional angst is an onion:

layer 1: it's very punk to take in a homeless queer girl and deprogram her so she'll leave the abusive heteropatriarchy cult that's grooming her. it's not very punk to catch feelings and want her around just because you like her.

layer 2: the meta. he's spider-man and she's gwen stacy, and this relationship tends to end terribly. he's firmly in the camp of fuck canon, but on the off chance that he's got it wrong, the girl he loves could die a terrible death because of him. challenging canon has high stakes.

layer 3: the miles. gwen falls for spider-man, but hobie's not the one people think she's for. he hates the idea that some spider-society-approved guy's entitled to her... but then that guy shows up and it's miles. and miles is great! and hobie wants to be his friend! it's a mess!

margo's never actually considered if the attention she envies gwen for getting was a good thing, or if it was ever wanted. now she understands that it isn't.

mega salt: they're definitely gonna do the death of gwen stacy canon event in btsv. whether she dies, or gets a death fakeout, it's coming. and it'll almost certainly be miles, who barely knows her, who's given the greatest emotional weight in that scene. as opposed to (possibly jess or) hobie, the person who has the deepest bond with her, who will probably have to comfort miles.

mega salt: hobie can have a girlfriend AND take down the government, guys. your personal connections fuel your politics. it's not one or the other.

but hey. it's a cool flaw to give hobie. realizing that is essentially his arc in these fics.

and it circles back to margo. punk and byte are important, but so are hobie and margo. their societies (and the society) only care about punk and byte because they can use them for their labor, which means they have to work especially hard to protect their human sides. they can do both.

and by holding on to these relationships, they can. being in love humanizes them.

that is why flipping the outcome of the love triangle would be so subversive. whoever 'wins' at the end is the person the story deems the most attractive and loveable. margo being preferable to miles over gwen, and hobie being preferable to gwen over miles, makes you reexamine your ideas about what makes the best relationship and who makes the best partner. miles and gwen getting together only reinforces our expectations.

comics-hobie is informed by an extradimensional being that he's doomed to die young. it happens in these fics too.

his arc, mostly offpage in both fics, is about rejecting that idea and accepting shades of gray into his philosophy that'll make it possible to live long without losing hope.

margo needs confidence and hobie needs contradiction. both find and embrace those qualities in spite of the society. both find it because they fall in love with someone they're not supposed to.

what is love? it's not a competition. it's not chasing your crush into another dimension because you can't bear not being near them. it's making a choice over time to build a relationship with them with care, intention and effort. it's accepting that doing so will change you. it's putting what they need above what you want.

.... in across, hobie is the person who does this for gwen, not miles.

the portal watch exemplifies this: he spent months showing up at a place he hates because gwen's there, supporting her, bonding with her, building trust with her, listening to what she needed and getting it for her. and then he gave it to her with no strings attached (and even made nice with her cop dad, who he'd probably hate) and got out of the way so she could use it for whatever she wanted, and trusted her to do what was best for herself even if it meant they wouldn't be together.

miles, in comparison, hung out with her twice and got her some plantains and a can of grape drink once. @/male writers: come on. use your fucking brain.

margo's jealousy towards gwen getting to leave her shitty home life ends, along with the last of her society indoctrination. no, suffering is not sacred.

comics-earth-138 has radionet. whatever that is. margo's too dependent on the internet to want to shelter there.

part of hobie's motive for making the watch was making it possible for them to stay together without the society as a go-between. but mostly, it was about giving her autonomy.

the miles-hobie fight: in the sv movies, miles is the protagonist. hobie's likability is literally written into the story as dependent on how supportive he is of him. if hobie denies miles something he wants-- like gwen-- he will be framed as a bad person.

chapter 5 iii

... if in btsv the anti-authority spider-punk encourages a girl to enter a het relationship that'll only end in her losing her autonomy... that's some bullshit.

so when he's given that choice in these fics, he tells miles as much. that's the start of their fight.

hobie has miles's back. he is not miles's yes man. he would not do that shit.

"when two girls fight about a guy, it's never actually about the guy" -- something margo's realized after visiting mj-616b. it's true of any relationship squabble: it's about the underlying issues in the two people doing the fighting, not the person they're fighting over.

miles and hobie were using the topic of gwen as a way to get mad at each other about their respective insecurities, and how they've failed to help each other get over them.

the rootkit returns: miguel canonically noticed margo for her coding skills. in the fic, he chose her because he realized she was capable of zoning out, following shitty orders and desensitizing herself to their consequences.

hobie needs no persuasion to rebel against the society. margo does, and got it from their conversation. conversely, margo needs no persuasion to embrace her feelings for miles, but hobie's not quite there yet with gwen until margo gives him a push.

hobie making the portal watch is paralleled to margo making miles the admin key. both consciously choose to build something that will give the person they care for what they need, and are changed by the process of building it. both are in love.

margo loves miles, but she's not dependent on him. if letting him go leads to him never returning, she'll move on. she's affirmed in who she is, she's confident, she knows she'll find someone else.

miles got his ass kicked by miguel. not as bad as in atsv, but he's still a little fucked up.

miles is fully past his need to prove himself to gwen.

part of me still wanted to preserve that plot thread of a girl who loves miles needing to come clean to him about the society's deception. couldn't be gwen, because she's on a completely different plot of her own. margo ended up working well-- she's a member of the society, she definitely knew, and she's a secret-keeper.

and margo, as in atsv, is the one to send him to earth-42.

"i'm glad i met you" is as close as these awkward teens can get to "i love you" at this point.

gwen's arc in arachnophobia was constructed in part to mirror miles's in atsv and btsv, and miles's in turn was altered to mirror hers-- but they differ in a few key places. for instance: both need to find validation in themselves and not the society. gwen's arc is about finding her autonomy and going it alone, miles's is about embracing his community. so in this moment where they both are given something by their love interest that offers them a chance to meet their villainized alternate self, gwen goes alone. miles brings some friends.

chapter 6

earth-42's as much an anomaly as miles is.

margo coming in person is a culmination of her arc: she's finally ready to fully commit physically and emotionally instead of keeping herself detached emotionally and behind a screen. all the more impactful because as far as she knows, this world is dangerous.

margo's also never been in another dimension where she can smell, taste and feel. up until now all the sensory details in other worlds she's visited have been restricted to sight and sound. naturally, she's gonna be a little weird about it.

since she's never gone worldhopping before i figure she'd probably come prepared. she's got a big bulky backpack full of stuff, including the tech she needs to access her powers.

miles pissed off his parents a lot this summer.

it's a given that they'll be found out and punished for coming to 42.

margo's never been in the same physical space as the boy she likes. it's gonna make for some charged interactions.

tied in with margo's eavesdropping habit: yup, she heard gwen and hobie getting nasty. before, she didn't get it at all. now, when she can experience touch for herself, she gets why it's so appealing.

margo and miles are awkward teens. naturally they're gonna stammer their way out of a Real Date and end up inviting a friend as a buffer.

and miles is all about inclusion. he wants to be on everyone's team. he wants to bring everyone along with him. of course he'd bring as many friends as he can... which unfortunately is just two, in this fic.

also i wanted peni and margo's friendship back in focus. important for margo's first time physically in another world to be about more than just romance. it's connection of all kinds, including friendship.

the parallels between miles winning the visions lottery AND getting bitten by the spider, in both cases technically 'taking someone else's spot/opportunity' make me insane.

they're teenagers on a spur of the moment mission. of course they're gonna fuck it up.

so much of the city in earth-42 is on fire. someone's gotta bring it up.

margo's the guy in the chair. she has no idea what to do in the field. it's safer for her to be away from the action.

thought it'd be funny if all the outlets on 42 don't work on her tech, so she's truly depowered.

this is a world where there presumably aren't many heroes. people would probably assume the worst of peni.

this being margo's first outing, she's naturally going to be insecure about not being able to operate as byte. and this chapter's all about the importance of margo sans powers-- just her personality is enough.

margo, like a lot of terminally online teens, is a lot more confident online. in person, she's much more awkward.

boy it WOULD be some bullshit if btsv confirms that margo's an mj only to say 'whoops! this is the ONE time spider-man doesn't pick her!'

it's bs that gwen, hypercompetent spider-hero, wanders around 1610b for a whole week without accomplishing anything when she's so on the ball during her screentime in itsv. justified here as an effect of being in a different dimension without a portal watch: it kinda fries your brain for a while. it's not your story, so the default is you're not allowed to make choices that matter. it takes time to break through that boundary when you're new at it. like margo currently is.

also adding a bit more creep factor to the society: hq's in 928 so miguel can be extra sharp in comparison to everyone else.

margo's a spider-person. she might not have the powers, but she's got the nerve for what they do.

tiana toomes is miles's current love interest in the comics, and far and away the best one he's ever had. she's not in these movies because she was created after atsv was too deep into production to add her, but there's a chance she could be in btsv. i want that badly. she's the vulture's antiheroine granddaughter, and 42's run by the sinister six cartel, including him, so earth-42 presents a great opportunity for tiana to cameo.

since miles is a hero and tiana's an antihero in the comics, and miles g is (probably) an antihero on 42, i figure tiana also gets a slide down the morality scale. here, she's an antivillain. working for her grandpa, but with conflicted feelings about it. (miles can fix her.)

thus her cameo here: if she sees an unidentified mecha zooming past her grandpa's business, she's gonna knock her ass out of the sky and steal her shit. but she also won't let margo die.

margo dropping a tiana ref in her salty call to miles is what gets g to pick up. that, and mentioning his dad in danger: it confirms that miles is being honest about his intentions.

speaking of, presumably g ambushed miles like in atsv. not for being at his mom's, but for being an unfamiliar villain (he thinks) in his territory. and presumably, there's still a punching bag interrogation from which miles escapes.

past that, who knows. insert the events of btsv here. this chapter was a nightmare to write, and all of the miles/g stuff was kept off-page for that reason. that's also why the girls take ages to find them-- so they have time to fight, gain each other's trust, and bond.

that's g on the line. the girls are close enough to miles to recognize that it isn't him instantly. they're gonna come looking.

the hoops i jumped through in this chapter to avoid writing miles g bc i don't know what his personality is yet. whew. i'll never be satisfied with chapter 6, but it'll age better because of that choice.

anyway off the crumbs of info we have on him, we know that he acts similar enough to miles1610 that rio can't tell the difference when they interact at first, therefore miles g is, at least around his mom, sweet, nerdy and a bit of a dork. and the prowler act is just that-- peacocking to make himself seem tougher than he is.

all the same, i figure he's probably a bit more cynical/suspicious. he comes from a rougher world, his dad died recently, and he's taken on the prowler mantle to (based off some concept art:) engage in vigilantism against the cartel. he's hardened a bit as a result.

anyway: tianamiles crumb. in this fic, i think these two have a situationship going on on the side. something batcatty. uncle aaron finds it hilarious. miles g is touchy about it.

he also doesn't know what tiana looks like, so he's going to assume margo is her.

which means miles g can let his mask slip around a stranger he'd otherwise be cautious around.

no dramatic face-off between 42miles and the spidergang here. the fight's over before margo even turns up. her confidence and determination is what matters, not an actual threat of violence. she's fully formed.

first hug! first kiss!

the original plan was for margo to draw the davis's attention away so peni could move into position to bust up the apartment. narrowly avoided.

chapter 7

bringing back the flash drive from chapter 1: margo's first trip to another dimension didn't rely on a watch. she still has the code, so she can replicate it. therefore, she can drop in on miles and peni even without a watch, but she's stuck as an avatar again.

miles is an artist. he's gotta hate ai art.

irony: margo's right back where she started, an avatar with a digital boyfriend.

miles reconciling with hobie happens after his conversation with gwen in arachnophobia 7.

which means he's getting a bootleg, and margo's about to get one too.

cue margo getting to explore the multiverse in person. and she's less dependent on constant distractions and a life of constant internet stimulation to keep her from feeling bad. she's starting to embrace real life too.

which makes her an oddity in her world.

timeline: miles and margo are juniors at this point. which means their futures are starting to loom.

and since school's online on 22191, margo's not getting a break from her family situation... unless she decides to go elsewhere.

enter gwen: arachnophobia goes into why she's like this. the gist is, she and a group of her alt-selves are planning to take out the spider-society. also she has a symbiote.

rootkit returns. gwen needs it to fuck up the computer system, and margo's bitter that her software's being used without her.

timeline jump: and now it's the end of the school year.

the jealousy's gone. margo doesn't want approval from the society or its leaders anymore, and has no desire to stay there. she doesn't need validation from anyone but herself, and the boy she loves isn't putting her behind gwen.

gwen's em jay in the movies is black. it makes sense that she'd catch on first; the thing that makes margo being an mj unbelievable to most people is a given to her.

gwen and miles were never together in these fics, but they behave like they went through a breakup, so they might as well have been. they're never not gonna be roasted for that.

gwen's end of the jealousy: gwen never wanted to leave her world or her family, so she resents that margo gets to go home at the end of the day. she doesn't like the attention she's getting and would rather be left alone to do her job, which is exactly what margo gets.

and margo's an mj. editorially, gwen was killed off because the writers were bored of her and wanted to make room for mj (and instead of letting gwen move on with her life, they had to make sure she'd never move on from peter. ugh.). so in a literal sense, mj's introduction to spider-man starts the clock on gwen's death. that's the source of gwen's hostility: feeling like if margo and miles get close, her time will start running out. it's less jealousy, more self-preservation.

love triangles done wrong are about fluffing the ego of the person in the middle by making two people fight over them. it's especially gross when it's two girls being pitted against each other for a guy. bro, you're not that impressive.

when two girls fight over a guy it's not about the guy. it's about the girls feeling inadequate. the boy's not the reason, he's the excuse.

there is actually a world where mj kills gwen with fireworks. wild.

margo and gwen don't have to fight because they're girls. they also don't have to be besties just because they're girls. there are months of cold shouldering to get over, and they have very different personalities.

but gwen CAN help margo with a unique problem.

(gwen-457's in arachnophobia. i figured two tech-based heroes would get along, thus the mention of a margo friendship)

gwen fled a dysfunctional situation into another world... but who also eventually went home. if margo's going to do the same, she needs to know why she went back.

gwen's dad having a potential cop relapse is a ref to the spider-gwen mcguire run, where george... sigh. goes back to being a police chief.

so's the "commuting" ref. gwen does this in the mcguire run-- going to school in 616 and living in 65. it does not work!

as this fic is written, gwen's getting tossed into 616 'for good' in the comics to synergize with the sv movies. it's going to be a disaster for her character because she doesn't function without her own world.

it absolutely feels like they're planning to force her and miles together. major salt at that.

more salt: you can't call gwen a hero in good conscience if she ditches her world for an easier one. that's not heroic.

spider-gwen, and arguably gwen stacy as a whole, is simply not a character a married-with-kids ending works for. hobie's the same, which makes him one of the best options for a love interest for her. both aren't the domestic type, both aren't ~relationship~ people, and both need their own worlds. they're on the same page.

gwen in general can't find that balance between hero and love interest. movie salt: even when she's the hero, all it takes is for one spider-man to get a crush on her to strip that away.

mj can make that balance. she's been a hero, she's been a love interest, she gets much more agency in her appearances.

margo approaches gwen for advice on her plan to move dimensions.

but she's apprehensive because she's worried about how doing it for a relationship will land with gwen, given her baggage with that motivation.

another dig! this one's at the fandom: the council of spider-women is an all-spider-gwen secret society from the comics. it does not exist so they can wingman gwen as she feeds herself to a relationship that'll take her autonomy away. it is literally there to do the opposite. they wouldn't support gwiles, they'd get her an escape plan out of that relationship.

possible preemptive salt at btsv: i swear to god. if the council appears there, and gwiles support is the purpose they serve, i'll go rabid.

if miles g is how we nickname miles42, gwen m would be the nickname for an alternate gwen. a pun on gwenom, too. i didn't think of that when i was writing arachnophobia, but i have it now! damn!

tianamiles crumb. gotta give em where i can.

it is worth noting that "everyone gets a gwen and an mj" is a shitty idea. that's for peter. let the other spiders have their own distinct love interests... like tiana, for miles.

the counterpoint, for this fic, is that margo does qualify as something new, since miles has never had an mj, and there's never been one like her before.

margo loves miles and they're great together. they're also 16 and each other's first romance. it's better not to assume they'll last forever. thus, apprehension is appropriate. moving dimensions for a relationship is shaky. doing it for a variety of reasons is much more stable.

finally, gwen stacy gets mj and spider-man together in the end. that still happens here. and instead of margo having to wingman gwen and miles together, gwen performs that role for margo.

chapter 8/epilogue

i feel it in my soul that margo would hate irl concerts. she's short, it's loud, it stinks. no thanks.

koca-soda= miles's coke.

the bugs margo prefers are digital ones. excuse for spider-puns.

i'm recycling the rooftop party scene from atsv here: it happens a year later, and it's not about jeff's promotion, but it still happens, and miles still awkwardly introduces his girlfriend to his parents.

margo's gonna be awkward in person if she spends all her time socializing online.

miles drew gwen. he'd draw margo too. and rio would definitely look at his sketchbooks.

a year ago, after gwen dumped miles, he went home and cried about it. thus, rio wants to hunt gwen for sport.

miles counts the relationship from when they started meeting in person, in january, when he got his bootleg watch. margo counts it from the earth-42 mission.

recycling miles's 'my interdimensional girlfriend is just from out of town' excuse from atsv

like in atsv, rio's initially hostile to miles's love interest because she's afraid she'll take him away from her.

rio comes around to margo because margo also wants miles to be happy and close to home. jeff comes around to her because she seems practical.

... miles did a lot of unhinged shit over the summer to protect his dad after his promotion. stuff like trying to get him out of the captain position by screwing him up on the job.

the spot's back! more on this in arachnophobia 8.

didn't write the fight because idk what happens there other than that miles definitely saves his dad and reveals he's spider-man to his parents. we'll wait for btsv i guess.

anyway, margo's tipping point for deciding to move to 1610b after graduation is meeting his family and realizing that she wants to be a part of it.

(if you'll recall, margo comes from a world where meeting with a romantic partner in person is indicative of serious commitment.)

she's taking from gwen's commuter idea, and the assertion that a relationship/dimension move doesn't have to be permanent as well. margo will live and go to school in 1610b, and perform vigilante services as byte on 22191. she can do both!

again, margo and miles are 16/17. they're great together, but they still might not last. and that's okay. margo can have a full, rich life on 1610b or beyond, without him if she needs to, and since this is a margo fic before it's a flowerbyte fic, i wanted to underline that one more time. getting the guy is second to finally feeling good about herself and like she belongs somewhere.

movie night's from the spider within short film. it's a tradition miles and his dad have. by including margo, jeff's letting her know he's accepted her and wants her to be a part of the family.

#arachnophobia fic #margo kess #flowerbyte

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sekhithefops · 1 year ago

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Elon Musk's Steady Descent into Madness Masterpost

Because I realized just now I posted a bunch of these things documenting the catastrophic fall of Tweeter and its descent into being a letter from the ass end of the alphabet, I figured I may as well put all these in one place.

Elon Musk Got Sued For Violating a Disabled Worker's Rights

Musk Initiates Rate Limits Because Reasons

Oops Turns Out There Were No Rate Limits, He Just Didn't Want to Admit He Fucked Up Again

Musk Writes Stoner Poetry to Try to Explain Away Rate Limits

Twitter is Losing Advertisers in Droves, Known Human Trafficker Andrew Tate Profits From the Few That Remain

Zuckerberg's Answer to Tweeter, Threads, Launches. Somehow its Even Worse

Musk Threatens Legal Action Against Zuckerberg Because He Thinks Owning Twitter Means He Owns the Concept of Social Media

Legal Eagle Weighs In on Musk's Suit Against Zuckerberg for Threads

Musk Wants to Rebrand Twitter as "X" Because He's Actually an Edgy Teenager from 1999

Wait, He Was Serious About Rebranding?!

Oops, Turns Out Rebranding as X Now Means Zuckerberg Can Sue Musk!

Gee, I Wonder Why Twitter X is Having So Much Trouble Keeping Advertisers

The Blue Check is Now Such a Black Mark That Musk is Letting Users Hide Them

Musk thinks Blocking people is a bad idea, so now nobody can block because he's a fucking sadist.

Three years of internet history just went poof. Intentional act or did Musk just fuck up again?

Approximately Half of Musk's Followers on Twitter are Bots

Musk goes to a video game tournament, it goes as well as you might expect.

Musk wants to paywall all of Twitter/X, make it so you have to pay to use it at all.

Musk decrees that news articles shared on Twitter/X will no longer display headlines, just pictures. Why? Not a single godsdamn clue.

Linda Yaccarino says "advertisers are returning to X." Linda Yaccarino is a big stinking liar.

Musk's multitude of moronic changes makes a real world tragedy even worse by preventing those who relied on Twitter for news from getting any credible information.

With Misinformation flying everywhere following an attack on Israel by Hamas and their retaliation against Gaza, Musk cracks down... on nudity.

Musk throttles traffic to Patreon as well as several other sites in his completely doomed attempt to turn Twitter into "X, the Everything App."

Musk begins charging new accounts $1 a year and requiring a phone number to "help combat spam," because the armies of $8 verified checkmark bots have proven that this works... wait, that didn't sound right.

The EU tells Musk "fix your shit." Musk tells the EU "Screw you guys, I'm going home."

An investigation reveals that 74% of the misinformation and propaganda spread during a recent attack in the Middle East was spread by Verified Users on Twitter. Oops.

A year after Musk's takeover, Slate reviews everything he managed to fuck right up.

Musk states that the smoldering remains of Twitter now known as X would become a dating site. How? Fucked if I know!

Musk is sued by a prominent critic who exposed what anyone with two working eyeballs could have told you: that Twitter is overrun with hardcore Alt-Right lunatics and its entirely Musk's fault.

IBM pulls advertising after they put their ads next to blatantly pro-fascist/neo-nazi propaganda. CEO Linda Yaccarano swears that they are trying to combat such things on Twitter, Musk however endorses them because its fucking Musk.

Twitter's CEO, Linda Yaccarano, is being advised to step down as staying as CEO is doing irreperable damage to her reputation. Meanwhile as companies like Disney, Apple, IBM, and the entire European Commission bail on advertising Musk's fanclub try (and fail) to fund Twitter themselves.

Musk sues Media Matters for pointing out that his failing social media site full of neo-nazis is full of neo-nazis. Meanwhile advertisers continue to flee in droves.

A brief overview by TechDirt as to why Musk's "thermonuclear lawsuit" is a laughable mess that not even Harvey Birdman would take seriously.

In response to advertisers fleeing Twitter, musk has only this to say: "Go fuck yourselves."

Slate posts the question: "What if Musk is doing this on purpose?"

Techdirt posts the answer: "He's not doing this on purpose, he's just gone completely bugfuck nuts."

Legal Eagle of Youtube fame analyzes Elon's "Thermonuclear Lawsuit" which turns out to be exactly what you thought it was: utter crap.

Elon paid a shitload of money to create Grok, his own AI abomination, and it turned on it's master.

A leaked document confirms what we all suspected, Musk has severely weakened moderation tools and intentionally allows anti-semitism and anti-LGBTQA+ posts to run rampant.

Musk reports over one billion video views on Superbowl Sunday, but an independent study shows that 3/4ths of them were likely bots.

#elon musk is an idiot #twitter is dead #Elon Musk's Steady Descent into Madness

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thatforgottenbasilisk · 6 months ago

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having nothing

Word Count: 2547 (AO3) (My Fic Masterpost)

Originally Posted on 6/3/2024

Rating: T

Summary:

Case #0141207: Statement of Tim Stoker, regarding an unseasonable chill in his flat. Original Statement given 12th July, 2014. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.

The tape recorder is clicked on.

In a lot of ghost stories, a draft- especially in midsummer- is pretty much a hallmark of the genre.

A draft is a nod to the genre-savvy, as if to say, "Here's where the scary thing starts." A draft is a confirmation that you picked up the right book. A draft is likely to fly right over the heads of an unsuspecting audience, but in this day and age, it's hard to find one of those. Most people have at least a little bit of a clue going in, that they're going into a ghost story. What kind of ghost story can still be up for debate; all that the draft signals is that there is a ghost present, not what kind of ghost it is. Not what is going to happen to it, or what it is going to make happen.

My flat has been cold for almost a year, now. Don't know what that means, in the context of a story; probably that I'm dealing with an amateur writer that needs to get their timeline tightened up before we can continue editing, and publishing isn't anywhere near the realm of possibility with that kind of lackadaisical structure, though that's if it's already been thrown at me from the slush pile; if I'm the one stuck sifting through it, the manuscript would probably be rejected if there's not some other redeeming context.

In real life, I'd suspect that it means I've got faulty aircon, or one of my neighbors has been running their fan too much or in the wrong direction, or else a dozen other possible issues with the building. I don't suspect any of those things for a few reasons that I'll get to in a minute, but I want to establish that I'm not just someone who's read too many of the aforementioned ghost stories and started to get paranoid about it. It's not even by choice, anyway; my job requires that I read anything we're intending to publish, and some things submitted by authors who want us to publish their work.

Ghost stories are either a lot more popular than you'd think they are, or they're just what sticks out in my mind right now. Dealer's choice, I guess.

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm bringing up ghost stories at all. I don't believe in them, if there was actually a ghost in my flat he'd have made himself known by now; he'd have done more than just make me cold. No, I know that I'm alone when I'm home, the same as I have been for years, now, and the same, I suspect, as I will be for the foreseeable future.

I wasn't always alone. My flat wasn't always cold. I used to have a little brother, and he was everything to me- he was the one who kept dragging me through his fleeting interests, he was the one who kept introducing me to new people I'd never have met if not for him, he was the one person I could count on always being there.

Until he wasn't there anymore.

The how of it isn't important. It was tragic, and sudden, and violent and dramatic and all these other things that I could explain further on, but I won't. It's none of your business. How much of my account is even real, versus how much of it is- is trauma-induced hallucination or exaggeration or whatever, it's none of your business. You don't need to know what I saw, and you don't need to know my therapist's input on it.

The point is, my brother died a year ago and I've been alone since.

It was... it was hard at first, I won't lie. I hardly even noticed the cold, despite the fact that July and then August were unbearably hot everywhere else. It became something I was used to before I had the presence of mind to realize I needed to get used to it. By time I did notice, it was October and just as cold everywhere else, and only then did I realize that my flat hadn't dropped in temperature from the summer.

I asked my landlord to get somebody to take a look at the insulation, and there was a maintenance guy in the walls by the next week; the insulation was perfectly fine, he'd said, practically brand new. My flat shouldn't be cold. I tried to show my landlord that it was cold, but when I went inside with him, my flat was the exact same temperature as the hallway, when for months, it had been at least a few degrees cooler once I stepped over the threshold.

There was no more maintenance after that, despite multiple photos I took of various thermometers that proved I was right. He didn't want to hear it, I guess, less work for him if he decided I was lying. I don't mind it as much as I probably should, so it's no skin off my back that he's not fixing it. Just means I can't have company, not that I was going to have any in the first place.

The only people I talk to anymore are my coworkers, and not much. I lost contact with everybody else just when Danny died- over half the people I know, I last saw at the funeral. I haven't felt the need to bother to reach out, and everybody else seems to agree with that. It's been too long, anyway, talking now would just be awkward, and it's not like I had the presence of mind to maintain the relationships I used to have when it was still acceptable to be maintaining them. I was too deep in a mental fog of grief, and yeah, people say they get it, but I really don't think they do. I really don't think that most people would accept, "hey, sorry I haven't spoken to you in several months, I was too busy curling up into a ball and crying" as a legitimate answer that they could also just move past without also making it awkward. It's a lose-lose situation no matter what I could do, so I may as well not bother.

I'm fine on my own, anyway. Most of those people were friends with Danny before they were ever friends with me. I know how to be friendly, and fun, and affable in general, but fuck is it tiring, pretending to be someone that I'm not just so that I can have a bigger variety of people to pretend I'm okay in front of. At least nobody at my job is asking weird questions, at least they leave me alone, because we all know we're stuck together and not by choice, so they don't have to reach out and try to act like there's not a giant Danny-shaped hole in my life that everyone can see. They don't have to try to be concerned about it, when they can mind their own business and save themselves the trouble.

For that, I'm perversely grateful; I'd rather not have everyone at my work knowing with explicit certainty that I'm taking way too long to properly grieve, rather than quietly suspecting it at their own desks like they do now, because I can't put on a mask of pretending to be alright for eight hours a day, five days a week. That's just impossible.

I thought about quitting, after everything happened. Thought about coming to work for you guys, actually, because I felt like I needed to know the truth behind why Danny died. But, well, it turns out I didn't need anything but a therapist, who explained a lot about the way that trauma gets processed, the way that some things are exaggerated and others are minimized, and the way that memories warp as they're recalled and reconstructed repeatedly, especially in a context of something as traumatizing as witnessing your own brother's murder. There's no truth to be found about it, at least, no truth that your people can provide. Just a truth that can be proved in a courtroom, if it ever winds up there. I'm not counting on it.

So I didn't quit. I just took some time off, halfheartedly planned a holiday out of the country and never carried it out, and did a lot of moping on the floor. It was a pretty uneventful January, in all honesty, but my therapist said it's fine that I didn't leave; I got away from things for a while, and while it may not have been particularly helpful in the short-term, taking breaks is never a bad idea. To be honest, I did feel better; less pretending for a month was nice. I got to put away the mask of a functional person for an extended period of time.

All of this should be normal. It would be normal, if not for the chill. After January, I think it decided it wasn't content with just sticking to my flat anymore.

My office consistently drops at least three degrees whenever I walk inside; I know this, for a fact, because I see the temperature display drop every time I walk through the door, and it doesn't do that for anyone else. Just me. I'm always cold, now, there always feels like a sharp wind cuts through however many layers I have on. There's nothing I can do about it, I think; nothing to stave it away. Space heaters break, scarves and overcoats grow too thin too quickly, not even blankets do anything.

I can't sleep anymore because of it. It's always too cold, I'd swear it's subzero if it weren't for the fact that it's impossible. My thermometers must be broken, because it's July and even industrial freezers would have trouble with that kind of temperature difference. I know I look like a zombie, with dark circles you can probably see the purple in. Sorry for not looking all that presentable, my boss has chewed me out enough for it. I can't even be bothered to tie a tie anymore, he's lucky I change my shirt with the fog I'm in, but that's neither here nor there.

I couldn't eat for a while, either. Anything warm would be chilled by time I bit down, but at least now that it's summer, more cold things are on more menus. I think I'll survive until autumn, but as it is, I've already lost too much weight. I'm skin and bone, and it's not like being outside helps me look any less pale. It's like there's always a cloud over me, even on the rare days when it's otherwise sunny- am I cursed? Is that possible? I just can't think of any other explanation.

There's no reason for everything, everything, to become so cold. To freeze me out, to- to shut me down, leave me drifting through a sleepless and hungry haze of nothing.

There is nothing. There's nothing to look forward to, living like this. The only thing I feel anymore is cold. There's nothing else, just the dull monotony of ice in my blood and drifting through the dull colors of the office, the tube, and home. Even the advertisements are washed-out, faded from the artificial light. The office is the same beige it's always been. My own walls used to be nice, bright, until the sun bleached everything. I haven't felt like touching it up; it feels too much of an accurate reflection of its occupant.

I tried walking along the river, once. Just to see what would happen, I guess. To see if that would make any difference, to be on the edge of a bridge when I should be trying ineffectively to at least get an hour or two of sleep. I wasn't really surprised when it was just more nothing.

There was white mist on the bridge. It was just me there, so nobody else can verify the unusual sight, but I swear there was. It was thicker than it should be, especially in midsummer. It felt like I could get lost in it. It felt like I could go in and never come back out. It felt like the mist, at least, would welcome me. The cold was still there, ever-present, but it fit. It was supposed to be there. I was supposed to be there.

I think I'll go to the bridge again soon. I don't think I'm going to come back.

Statement ends.

- ... Well. This was... interesting. It's... I think it's more of a suicide note than any actual account of anything supernatural occurring. Martin gave me this file, though, and he told me it felt- how did he phrase it? Familiar. I'm... I have to admit that I'm not entirely sure what he means by that.

- Ahem. Personal inquiries aside, there has been some follow-up work done by Martin about the veracity of this Statement.

- Tim Stoker disappeared without a trace shortly after giving this Statement here, and was only reported missing by his boss after three weeks of not showing up to work. Apparently he hadn't given any notice that he was going anywhere, which is why it was investigated at all. After calling the publishing company that Mr. Stoker was once employed at, we received confirmation that he was indeed on their payroll at the time of the Statement, but little else in the way of details. The woman who answered the phone apparently said that she'd worked in the same office as him for years, but only vaguely remembered his existence when pulling up payroll.

- Martin was unable to find the therapist mentioned in this Statement, due to a combination of a lack of information provided to us and the strict enforcement of privacy laws, even with regards to people who have been declared dead in absentia. He did, however, manage to find a police report on the state of Mr. Stoker's flat in the initial investigation- it was described as "bare" and "pristine," with a thin layer of dust covering most of Mr. Stoker's personal possessions. There were no notes about unusual temperature, and there have been no reported complaints about the same from the current tenant.

- No body or organic evidence has yet been found matching Mr. Stoker's DNA; however, occasionally, a man of similar likeness- thin, pale, and wearing ill-fitting business clothes- has been spotted by more than a few people in their Statements to us and elsewhere, but only when partially obscured by fog on a bridge in London. Which bridge, exactly, does not seem to be particularly important. Many people who live near the Thames have decided that this figure is a new ghost, though there has yet to be a consensus on his name. Personally, I think it's utter nonsense, but one person described faintly seeing a tattoo on the figure's arm, which matches Mr. Stoker's own tattoo that appears in the photo of him provided in the file, so it's close enough that it should be included.

- End recording.

#tma #my writing #tma fic #suicide tw

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hekate1308 · 2 years ago

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Present Blessings, A Drowley Advent Calendar, December 18

Masterpost

Read it on AO3

Dean was pensive as they walked home – of course without having purchased a tree because Crowley had to put his foot down somewhere. “You know, they are all so happy.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I assure you that’s not true.”

He huffed. “You really do go out of your way to only see the bad, don’t you? I know that humans struggle a lot. That’s kind of the point, really.”

How nice to know that God was actually sadistic after all.

“But what I meant is… humans know this too. Hell, just look at your employees – Charlie and her mom’s story, Sam and his dad – between us, he was a real piece of work, not that I am supposed to say it out loud – but still – here they are, working away on making their lives better.”

That was certainly something that Crowley had never known about either of them.

“What I mean is, no matter what lives throws their way, humans just persevere. They go one and try to make the best of it. And Christmas… they just take it as a reason to be happy because they want to, because right there in the middle of winter, they can breathe and rejoice, if only for day. We don’t know anything like that.”

And suddenly, Cowley found himself wondering about Christmas in Heaven. Just another day, it must be. Just like he had kept it for years and never thought much about it. But he wasn’t Dean – he didn’t care about such things.

He didn’t.

He looked at the sad angel next to him and took a deep breath, telling himself he just didn’t want him moping around in his house tonight. “About that Christmas party… I guess I could go.”

Dean immediately brightened up. “Yeah?”

“I suppose I could stomach to stay for an hour or two” he conceded while still putting boundaries.

“Oh man, this is great! See, I told you, you just have to – oh, Hey, Red.”

Now, he had no idea who Dean would greet like this, only to realize to his horror that they had happened across Charlie Bradbury of all people. Now, she really was an excellent IT person, but by God, he also knew of her fondness for gossip, and that meant…

“Hey, Dean! Oh, good day, boss.” And of course her eyes were already flitting between the two of them, trying to find clues as to whey they would be taking a walk around town together.

Wonderful.

“We’re just enjoying the Christmas lights” Dean told her, while she was obviously drawing the only possible conclusion.

Now, Crowley was well aware that as an angel, Dean would probably not know what any of this would mean to a human, but he had to draw the line somewhere. He tried to think of an excuse, but Bradbury had worked for him for too long – if he claimed he was just helping out by letting Dean stay at his house for a while, she would undoubtedly still think –

There were up- and downsides to every kind of reputation, he assumed.

However, at the very least, she was then drawn into a conversation with Dean – or so he assumed, until Dean said, “And this one rather wants a slim tree.”

Now, he stood very firmly by the fact that he didn’t want any kind of tree, so he announced, “I never said that.”

And of course that had done it, because Bradbury was now clearly under the impression that not only that he and Dean were a couple, but that he had then made his – well, that he had done made Dean his PA just so they could spend more time together on the job, and he had always been firmly against this sort of private entanglements when it came to work.

“I don’t know, I’ve always been for living trees myself, but I’m just glad you’re not one of those plastic kind of guys” she said before remembering she was talking to her boss.

“I never take a substitute when I can have the real thing” he declared because he didn’t want er to think he was angry at her, again, she was probably the best IT person he’d ever had – and only caught Dean winking from the corner of his eye.

Oh, he knew. That bloody angel knew. He might not have been completely clairvoyant when it came to certain things, but this…

Well, two could play at this game. “Dean suggested I should visit our Christmas party this year… what do you think, Miss Bradbury?”

What he had assumed would end in Dean looking flabbergasted actually ended yet again with Crowley being the one to shake his head, because Bradbury enthusiastically agreed. “Oh, it’ll be great to have you, boss! Are Gavin and Fiona coming too?”

He decided to blame Dean. It was the easiest way of handling this.

#spn #my writings #advent calendar #drowley #dean winchester #crowley

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international-sunrise · 1 year ago

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I WAS GOING TO PUT ALL OF THIS IN THE NOTES and then it got long and decided against it i am so SORRY for turning your Jaeyeol post into an EVEN LONGER JAEYEOL POST i hope you don't mind.

first off thanks for putting up with my rant as well and also don't worry my comment about Mary was 90% a joke and 10% my personal writing opinions that Definitely don't match PTJ style at all.

it's been in my mind for a while now that it's not uncommon, in stories overall, to have a character playing for both sides in order to still come out on top. now, I know we've seen Steve Hong categorically oppose to Charles Choi, however we've also seen how Steve is also CEO of a pretty widespread company as well. CEOs will do CEOing and we've already seen how neither Steve nor Jay are below paying off their problems away so that people will keep quiet about it.

I also kept thinking about how, since it's getting stablished that the Fake Body might just have traces of a consciousness and a past (or, a future? i saw a post about how time-space fuckery is also a PTJ thing and you know what Lookism is at that point where it would make sense if the Fake Body is somehow Daniel from the future), it's... Very interesting, the almost dismissive way in which Fake Daniel fought Jaeyeol. I don't know if I should interpret it as him not caring or him wanting to get him out of the way, because the "matching energy" thing does not quite land for a character that Obviously has no intent to fight. Even Daniel himself says so, he really did not need to go that far. I'm going somewhere with this please trust your uber-plot driver.

so in one hand we have the fact that even though Steve is helping Daniel behind the scenes and Jay is helping Daniel in everything else whenever PTJ remembers he's supposedly his best friend, and still there has been no connection from neither side, tells me that either we're supposed to assume Daniel already knows (which would be lame!) or PTJ is somehow waiting for it to be relevant to relay that info on our poor clueless babygirl (Daniel) in the worst, most emotional moment possible.

we also have the fact that Steve is known for having already "deleted" Jaeyeol out of existence, although not in such extremes as to how Charles Choi erased James Lee. Only characters who are known to have very deep insight on other characters (they're reading the script cough cough) know about Jaeyeol being Steve Hong's disgraced second son, but not much else about it. Which other characters fits this trope? James Lee the man the legend the felony commiter.

so, hear me out. what if Steve is also part of some sort of cover-up plot, driven mostly by, well, Capitalistic goals and is using Daniel (and, consequentially, his own son) in order to drive Charles Choi to the ground and buy out the scraps in order to expand? I think it definitely fits the PTJ way of doing things.

now let's tie this to the "What if Fake Daniel is Actually, Daniel from a future/darker timeline" idea. none of those words are in the bible feel free to add it to your "Crazy Theories About Daniel's Second Body" masterpost.

What if Fake Daniel's dismissiveness when figthing Jaeyeol was not, in fact, PTJ wanting to Personally Insult Me (joke), but somehow a very important clue and also some kind of desperate attempt to make Jaeyeol drop out of this entire thing altogether, because he doesn't want his friend to find out his father was also sort of behind this entire thing?

i'm grasping at straws i know i just want this all to end up having meaning and wrapping up nicely somehow.

On Jay (Why It Makes Me Sad)

Five reasons why I want justice for this character.

Daniel is my ultimate bias in this webtoon, and I always cheer for him (mostly for the real Daniel), having so long seeing him as the underdog. However, with the webtoon's increasingly greater focus on Daniel's growth, both physically and mentally, I think I've lost sight on the injustice suffered by fans of other characters. I think of myself as a selfish, cruel fan, who enjoys my fave character's development at the expense of other people's suffering. And I'm sorry for that.

I'm talking about Jay.

First, it's just not fair for PTJ to suddenly bring Jay back into the foray only to assist in Daniel's struggles and then be defeated dismissively. Jay is a character whose formidable strengths as a fighter was introduced very early in the story, as was his tenacity and his loyalty.

Second, and most importantly, to me it's not fair for PTJ to abandon Jay after introducing his backstory as an emotionally abused minor.

Sometimes PTJ follows through with explaining the impacts of abuse. Eli's and Samuel's abusive backstories have real repercussions on how they grow as people and how they treat others. In other times, as in the case of Jasmine, PTJ drops the plotline completely after introducing it. I hope that this won't be the case with Jay, since his backstory is connected with Steve Hong, Charles Choi's bitterest business rival and Daniel's secret backer.

Third, while I'm not invested in the Jay x Daniel ship, I'm sad about the hatred that some fans show Jay because of his sexual orientation, gentleness, and/or muteness. I wish that there was more generic way for PTJ to incorporate Jay more into the story. His search for Big Daniel, for example, and his struggles in doing so. After all, wouldn't this sort of thing make an interesting arc in a story that's bordering on the thriller genre?

Fourth, it disappoints me that we can't we see Jay build friendships with other characters more. I really enjoy seeing him interact (in silence, but still) with Vin, Jihan, Jibeom, and Hudson in this arc and in the arc before (Holiday Pt 2). I was surprised at how kind and understanding Hudson, Jibeom, and Jihan were to Jay, and how relaxed Vin treated him. Why can't see more of that? Doesn't Jay deserve this development as an OG character who's been there since forever in this story?

Fifth, personally as someone who enjoys reading the duel scenes, I wish to see more representation of weapon users in the story. With an increasingly bizarre techniques (some fans say that Jake's drug lord brother uses pankration; an ancient, brutal form of Greek wrestling) being introduced in the story, Xiao Long's absence and Goo's involvement in Manager Kim, I miss seeing Jay fighting, and in detail. Arnis is a formidable martial arts, after all, and he's really good at it.

Justice for Jay.

#i love all of your long posts by the way i keep them as references for tropes lore and symbolism!

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thegeminisage · 4 years ago

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one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean's weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean's dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference ("you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you're roma downey?")

references to real life phenomenon ("i don't wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice" "try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla")

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude ("easy there, van damme" "so i’m girl interrupted" furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of "chucklehead" "asshat" and on the nicer/endearments end "buddy" "pal" "sunshine" etc)

an idiom ("a snowball's chance" "if it smells like a duck...")

slang ("drinking the koolaid" "jonesing for some hooch" not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor ("power up your batteries" "fly me back to my page on the calendar")

a euphemism ("cloud seeding" "i'd have given you an hour alone with her first")

sarcasm (his habit of replying "peachy" or "super" when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire "vampirate" and "werepire" debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: "it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?")

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible.

think about this. there's an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean's pop culture references, because the average viewer won't have seen everything he's talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don't understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that's because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going "what the fuck is WRONG with them?"

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn't help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean's mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he's talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester's way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental "dean winchester dictionary" and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he's telling dean that he can't understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean's tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean's jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says "it was a witch, not the tet offensive." since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: "you wanna just walk right into the death star?" cas: "what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?"). whenever he asks dean to clarify it's always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he's too annoyed to care. (dean: "i don't know who's on first, what's on second!" cas: "what IS second???") i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS.

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it's season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don't remember what season he started using "yeah" instead of "yes" but i do know it took a really damn long time.

and honestly, i don't think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that's something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale.

so what's true romance, fellas? it's falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he's ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[spn masterpost]

#destiel #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #supernatural #liz's meta #liz makes stuff #liz's spn stuff #i have a whole other thing about how cas will code switch when he's around angels vs humans but this post is already way too long #seriously debated waiting and posting this in the morning because i want people to reblog it but fuck it! 2am meta.#season 5 cas: completely in love: i have no idea what the fuck you're saying to me. i love you. i'm going to kill you. why are you like thi

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fermented-writers-block · 3 years ago

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PART 1 of 6 of the Owl Deity Hooty Theory

[NEXT PART]

[OWL DEITY HOOTY THEORY MASTERPOST] (in development)

(TLDR at bottom of post)

Over several long months of research and analysis since March of 2020, I have been following an utterly fascinating thread of potential misdirection and subtle details throughout The Owl House, and today, I would like to start weaving together of what I believe could become one of the biggest and most cleverly disguised twists in the entire show.

To begin, let’s take a look at the B plot of Understanding Willow:

On first glance, it’s an ultimately inconsequential sidestory with the sole purpose of justifying an excuse to keep Luz and Amity in Willow’s mind, as well as providing some well-needed room to breathe and release tension after the veryemotionally charged confrontation with Inner Willow. After half an episode of Eda and King outdoing the other in ridiculous ways to win Gus’ vote and Gus running off in frustration at the end of the episode from Hooty’s inane rambling, it’s easy to laugh off Gus’ pick and assume that nothing/of value was said when he closed the door for the interview.

However, if one pays close attention to that very scene, Hooty actually canstill be heard (if faintly) underneath Eda and King’s grumbling, interestingly talking about how “It all started with a hunt. Blood red skies. That’s right, I was created-.”

Now, while it may seem silly to focus on dialogue from Hooty of all characters, this A) tells us that there was an event in the past involving blood red skies and a hunt of some kind, B) that Hooty had been created close to said event, and C) implies that what he knows but can’t tell as a story worth a damn is EXTREMELY important to be included and be hidden in such a manner.

For comparison, the only other instance of dialogue being tucked away in the background in the entire show is in Wing It Like Witches:

During the lecture at the beginning of the episode, the history teacher openswith lore on Belos appointing a head witch to each coven over 50 years ago, immediately cluing in the audience to try and decipher the rest of the lecture as it moves to the background. Adding to this is how the musical sting when Luz shows off her movie obscures what he says even further, making it even more of a intriguing puzzle that the creators clearly intended for viewers to pick up on and attempt to solve.

In contrast, the hidden dialogue of Hooty’s interview is much shorter and not as hard to decipher as the teacher’s history lesson, but at the same time, there are few to no indicators whatsoever in that scene to clue in the audience to even check for something like that. It comes at the end of an episode where most viewers would have been paradoxically tired out and driven abuzz by the revelations of Amity and Willow’s relationship, doesn’t attempt to draw much attention to itself, and frames itself as a comedic subversion of audience expectations with neither the “greatest witch who ever lived” or the self-proclaimed king of demons being picked by Gus.

Instead, he picks someone that the show portrays constantly as an oblivious and gullible idiot after being described as a “state of the art defense system” at the very beginning of the series. Someone who, despite it being played for laughs, is scarily capable of casually subduing Lilith offscreen one episode and then beating her and an entire squad of Emperor’s Coven members without even the slightest change in personality or temperament.

Someone who, due to being the Owl House itself, could be considered the titular character of the entire show, yet is taken for granted by those who inhabit him and barely gets any respect from even the cutely patronized King - including when Hooty could be interpreted as having potentially been full on DEAD for a time given the use of extremely cartoony X eyes and a lack of vital signs in The Intruder.

And someone who Eda at best tolerates and at worst abandons in personal interactions and only occasionally acknowledges him when he’s actually doing his job. Yet at the same time is so implicitly trusted beyondprotecting her home to the point where - when up against the closest person Eda has to an equal outside of likely Belos - the only actually recognizable spells Eda used in combat were 1) stereotypical energy blasts, 2) a single shield spell in Covention, and 3) a noticeably large reliance on imitations of Hooty above any other spells she could have decided to use instead.

In short, the show repeatedly tells us he is just an idiotic gag character through and through, but at the same time demonstrates he has immense power through both onscreen and offscreen demonstrations, implicitly tells us his importance ahead of time through Eda’s imitations in actually serious situations, and treats his interview and origin story as - if not even more- important to keep secret than a long lore dump about how Belos’ reign works.

After all, there being only two instances of hidden background dialogue in the entire season is already intriguing on its own, but for one to get plenty of clues to draw in people’s attention and for the other to be treated as just another gag about a “mere comic relief character” - aka a good way to draw away attention and lower one’s guard - heavily suggests a far deeper significance buried under layers of misdirection, comedy, and conditioned audience expectations.

I mean, when Eda bragged about being “a bad girl living in a secret fortress,” Hooty followed with a remark about how “I’m the secret.” While that line may sound like Hooty simply being confused as part of a one-off on the surface, it’s an odd dialogue choice for the writers to pick when you think about all the other reminders of his nature as the house itself throughout the season. With the precedent these moments set, it would have been much more appropriate for him to latch onto the “fortress” side of “secret fortress” AND it would have been just as equally funny of a joke about his awareness skills, but instead, Hooty broke away from the established trend to say something that would make people suspicious were it to come from anyone else.

In a way, this reminds me much of the many subtle bits of foreshadowing strewn across the show, like Luz unknowingly describing Amity in Witches Before Wizards and Eda burning a hole through Luz’s coven type quiz that coincidentally selected the same track she had taken at Hexside as “a punky potionist.” At the time of airing, these initially seemed like one-off jokes, but eventually came back in full force several episodes later with Amity’s hidden sensitive feelings and love for the Azura books becoming clear in Lost in Language, and the reveal of Eda’s school track in Something Ventured, Someone Framed with her school misdemeanor pictures.

That said, compared to these individual bits of minor foreshadowing, the jokes about Hooty in Understanding Willow appear to simply be the most obvious pieces in a giant puzzle, implicitly and outright telling attentive viewers that there’s a major mystery to be uncovered here.

In fact, I feel bold enough to say that we could be looking at a twist on a similar scale to that of the Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz and Stanford Pines twists in Steven Universe and Gravity Falls respectively, what with this particular puzzle piece coming from how Gus wanted to make THE greatest interview of all time, and how he was looking for someone who was “interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy:”

Note the emphasis on the ‘and’ here, as Gus had made a big deal that “people aren’t meantto be all those things” at the beginning of the episode, so as a result, stripping away all the comedic framing of his subplot leaves the intriguing implication that whoever - and, perhaps, what- Hooty is, they really are the most interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy person out of everyone.

I could go further and talk about why I suspect the mystery surrounding King’s origins, whether true or not, is partially meant to misdirect us from paying attention to Hooty, or how the TOH crew’s could be disguising legitimate clues to his nature among made up and highly meme-able joke answers in order to proliferate said concepts throughout the fandom - thus letting us do all the dirty work of getting ourselves used to the ideas and used to dismissing them at the same time - but to bring things to a close for now, I’d like to leave you all with a question that I’ll start answering next time:

What does it mean when both the most powerful and notorious witch on the Boiling Isles and the possible actual king of demons/the Titan itself/something don’t match up to a house? And what do you think it is that makes him so special to warrant such misdirection?

TLDR: Between Eda’s golem spells, the show stressing his nature as the titular house, his implicit strength, and the odd dialogue and structure of Understanding Willow‘s subplot in relation to him, I believe I have good reason to suspect the show has been giving us many hints towards Hooty being much, much more important than it would like us to currently believe or even joke about. Particularly, through clever uses of comedy to establish and enforce a strong audience bias against looking closely at him or unironically taking him seriously, and to potentially plant the seeds for something I will start exploring in Part 2.

#the owl house #the owl house theory #owl house theory #the owl house speculation #toh theory #the owl house hooty #toh speculation #owl deity hooty theory #long post

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cellydawn · 4 years ago

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sans IS gaster (OR the sans theory masterpost pt. 2)

Part 1 || ❤️ || Part 3

(drawn by me, color by @magenteel)

Previously, we discussed: Sans and his hand in the destruction of a world, his connection to Ice-E and Deltarune, and how he relates to Gaster. We’re going to continue the thread we left off on.

Section III - Gaster (Cont.)

Snails are mentioned too many times throughout Undertale for them to not be of any significance. As it turns out, they are pretty important in unraveling the mystery behind Gaster and Sans.

When you enter the area with Napstablook’s snail farm, you’ll notice that Sans’s theme is playing despite him not making an appearance.

In one of Papyrus’s phone calls, he mentions that Sans recently bought snail-shaped pasta and says “He’ll probably fill them with hotdogs and slime.” Toriel also owns a book called “72 User for Snails”. Track 72 in the Undertale OST is “Song That Might Play When You Fight Sans”. That’s multiple times that Sans is likened to snails.

Snails belong under the taxonomic class Gastropoda. Gasterpods.

These long pauses between words and phrases are not unlike how Gaster speaks.

Here is Gaster speaking with us in the opening sequence of Deltarune. And...

Now. Let’s move on.

(More under the cut.)

Mus_smile is the track that plays in room_gaster. This is my personal opinion, but the character that is the most strongly associated with smiles is Sans.

And Sans is certainly intelligent enough to be the prime suspect for being Gaster. The proper name for his namesake is Comic Sans Microsoft, or Comic Sans MS. MS can also be used as a suffix for the name of a person who has a degree in a Master of Science.

Sans also owns quantum physics books. The subject of Gaster’s scientific research is revealed in Entry #17: “photon readings negative”. Photons are described as a "quantum" of electromagnetic energy, and are of course within the realm of study under quantum physics.

Gaster, like Sans, is brilliant yet slow-working. Slower than Alphys, who is repeatedly noted to have nothing to show yet as the royal scientist in the eyes of the people and is shown to slack off constantly.

Gaster is implied to have perished, and I suppose he did, in a way, if these speculations do end up being correct. However, there’s something more to this statement. Ghosts are sort of in the realm of being not-alive, and Sans and Napstablook have a surprising level of comparability.

They both:

Get likened to “garbage”

Have connections to snails (Napstablook runs the snail farm)

Speak completely in lower case

Pretend to sleep and say “Z’s” out loud

Have black “sclera”

And the black sclera is also a topic of its own; it’s equated with the status of being brought back to life. Being “determined”. (See: Asriel and Undyne)

Undyne is especially suspect due to the strange right-eye-phenomenon she has in common with Sans, with spears shooting out of hers. Spears that are actually colored light blue, not unlike Sans’s eye.

To recap:

Sans and Gaster are heavily involved in Deltarune

They have been displaced from time and space

They have connections to snails

They are both doctors with knowledge in quantum physics

They both “fell” into the abyss

They both talk similarly

They are both slow

They are both characterized by their smile

They are both some degree of dead

Sans is Gaster or a significant piece of him. Sans has Gaster Blasters because they belong to him. If all prior conjecture proves true, he is and will be responsible for the destruction of a world or THE world within Deltarune. After all, the Latin definitions of “gaster” and “sans” are to destroy and to be without, respectively.

That brings us to the next subject: why is Sans Sans? More specifically, why is that his name? Why even change his name?

Below is the Japanese version of the fun event with Sans’s phone call. It features completely different dialogue from its English counterpart.

Am I Licca-chan? (Select No) Then from now on call me Sans. I need to check every once in a while. I won’t know when my name has changed.

“Licca-chan” is a well-known Barbie-esque dress-up doll in Japan, so popular to the point where it is even used as a synonym for other dolls from different companies. Perhaps it implies that Sans is adaptable due to Licca-chan’s nature as a doll and how she is in a constant state of change to reflect the times. It also seems to be a pun on “liquor” because Sans was talking about beer in the English version. I tried to scour the Japanese fandom for clues, but they also seemed stumped. If anyone has any ideas on what this could mean, please let me know!

Regardless, “Sans” doesn’t seem to be his actual name. Perhaps his true name was Gaster...?

Additionally, If the player changes the name of the fallen child via going into the code, this message appears in the stats menu. The vernacular is very Sans-like, with his frequent use of question tags at the end of his sentences (I counted 14 huh’s from Sans).

Finally, let’s talk about the number six. We know that it’s Gaster’s number--All of the explicitly Gaster-related fun events trigger for fun values in the sixties, Gaster’s stats are all comprised of 6′s, Gaster’s “typer-value” is 666--you get the idea.

The concept art Toby drew for the Alarm Clock’s character screen features what is presumably Sans and the number six.

“The Choice”--the track that plays during Sans’s judgements--is “Undertale” slowed down by 666%.

Section IV - Angels and Demons (The “Why”)

In modern day culture, 666 is closely associated with the devil. The Book of Revelation (13:17-18) asserts that 666 is “the number of a man” (this is important, and we’ll come back to it later) and is “the number of the Beast”. The Beast is mentioned as “coming out of the abyss”.

Sounds a lot like someone else we know, doesn’t it? And how fitting for Sans, the one who judges our sins and demands us “to burn in hell”.

But if we go further, the Beast of Revelation is described to have seven heads representing seven kings. The beast itself is an eighth king who is of the seven and "was and is not and shall ascend out of the bottomless pit, and go into perdition."

Chara is an eighth of the seven fallen children.

There’s something Chara, Sans, and Gaster all share, and it’s their association with demons.

Here is an excerpt from the Cutting Room Floor:

Among the four strings in version 1.0, the last one, designated by variable “demond”, stands out for two reasons.

The letter “d” is separate from the other letters denoting the demon variables--the rest, “x”, “y”, and “z” are in sequential alphabet order.

The speech pattern of the last string is different from the others. It has that signature question tag at the end of the sentence that a certain character is known for.

In version 1.001, the strings clearly reflect Chara’s speech pattern. This time, all the variables are in sequential order from “a” to “d”.

Pieces of dialogue at the near-end of a genocide route from Chara and Sans. Recall that Chara is using the same “Now” from earlier with Gaster and Sans.

Chara makes a reference to Banana Yoshimoto's book “Kitchen”. Take note of the page number.

Chara is also linked to the number nine. It’s the highest achievable stat in-game. It’s the stat of the locket and real knife. It’s how much damage Chara deals. It’s also the number six flipped upside down.

The connections are undeniable.

And yet, it goes further. Let’s take a look at how Christmas comes in to play.

In Deltarune, there are a few references to it, the most foremost probably being the importance of Noelle Holiday as a character. We also get Lancer’s laugh and the joke with “Krismas”.

Back to Undertale, there is significant Christmas iconography represented by “Gyfmas” and Gyftrot (bearing a strong resemblance to Photoshop Flowey, the DT Extractor, and Gaster Blasters).

What I’d like to focus on is Santa. Papyrus describes him as “a chubby, smiling man who loves to surprise people.” From the thank you note addressed to Santa we find in Sans’s room, we can assume that Sans is a Santa, at least to Papyrus. It’s pretty fitting, since Sans can be described as someone who “knows if [we’ve] been bad or good”. Maybe he can even tell if we’re sleeping or awake with how the Dark World appears to be linked with sleep and dreams (please read my theory on Sans being a Darkner for more on this).

So we can reasonably conclude that Sans presents himself as a friendly, child-oriented figure, in-line with the nature of Comic Sans, a font for children, and Ice-E, a mascot of a company marketed towards children.

…

Santa is an anagram of Satan.

…

To recap: Gaster’s association with the number 666 marks him as a “demon”. Chara and Sans are also called demons and similarly have connections to the number 6. This is more evidence that Gaster and Sans is or used to be the same people, and Chara has some form of correspondence with them.

I failed to mention before that there is actually a second Beast of Revelation “from the Earth” with "two horns like a lamb”. From the “earth” like Flowey, with horns like Asriel.

Asriel is most likely the “Angel” depicted in the prophecy within the scope of Undertale; he’s named similarly to Azrael, an angel of death, and one of his attacks is literally called “Angel of Death”. He also bears a striking resemblance to the Deltarune in his God of Hyperdeath form.

Surprise, surprise, he and Sans also share parallels.

Let’s start with their introductions. “Flowey the flower”. “Sans the skeleton”. It’s a similarly alliterative greeting and they’re both using fake names.

Mirrored dialogue yet again...

…and similar meta-commentary.

These three characters--Sans/Gaster, Chara, and Flowey/Asriel--they have all fallen. Gaster fell into his creation. Chara fell into the Underground. Asriel had “fallen down”. (Sans and Papyrus are also the only sibling pair other than Chara and Asriel. I won’t talk about Papyrus in this part though because this thing is shaping up to be too long already.)

What does this mean for Sans? I have a personal theory.

Above the entryway of the Judgement Hall, there is a reversed Deltarune. The triangles are inverted and the wings are more bat-like. In the room where only Sans appears, the same room that plays a version of “Undertale” slowed down 666%.

I think Sans is a candidate for the Angel prophesized to destroy the world in Deltarune. I think he is Sans Serif, a seraph. He fell into his experiment and became a “fallen” angel, a demon.

The Angel’s Heaven mentioned alongside, on the other hand... Heaven can also be used to refer to God. Dog is an anagram of God.

Sans has many, many connections with dogs, especially one Annoying Dog. More on this next time.

Part 1 || ❤️ || Part 3

#undertale #deltarune #undertale theory #deltarune theory #sans #gaster #cellytheory

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btsandvmin · 3 years ago

Text

Vmin song analysis - Winter in August - Part 4

Since this analysis ended up being so long it has been divided in parts. This is part 4. If you haven’t read part 1, 2 or 3 yet I recommend doing so. This is the final part.

This started as a Spring Day analysis, but it has since grown immensely. I actually rather call it a thematic analysis or something, and while Spring Day is still at the core of it all, I go through many songs and details outside of Spring Day connections.

Taehyung obviously loves Spring Day a lot, and Jimin does too. It might seem weird to make a Vmin analysis out of Spring Day, but I just felt there was enough surrounding things to talk about. Even if they might be coincidence I do personally think they fit it very well with the other song theories I have made, and I have even mentioned Spring Day a few times before. As usual I suggest reading my other song analyses before you get into this one. You can find them all in My masterpost

I am going to talk mostly about connections that Taehyung has made and how he seems to use a lot of similar themes and references, but also things possibly connecting Vmin and Spring Day.

Lyrics and theme

Choreo and MV

Taehyung’s (and Jimin’s) love for Spring Day

Connections to Vmin’s songs

Overlapping themes

Other connections to Vmin

Taehyung's songs not being all he wants to say

Taehyung’s mixtape

Summary

In this part I will focus on Taehyung and things he has mentioned in regards to making songs. Mostly I will speculate about the mixtape and then there is a final summary of this series of posts and the things I found the most interesting to keep in mind.

This is the last part and also the shortest one. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this, so before anything I just want to say thank you all for reading, and hope that you found this analysis worth your time.

7 - Taehyung’s songs not being all he wants to say

This isn’t related to Vmin, but I also want to mention how it seems some songs of Taehyung might be a bit held back, or at least that he might not fully be able to express all he wants in them.

The first example is how Namjoon says this about 4 o’clock in his fan café post:

"Through this song, Taehyung may not be able to express all of his emotions, but I hope that we'll be able to express it as much as possible. I hope it is the closest expression of Taehyung's dawn!"

To me this all sounds like an important moment for Taehyung, with emotions he wanted to express. And Namjoon points out Taehyung might not be able to express "all of his emotions" as read in his fan café post. If this was all I might not react because I can understand it might be difficult for someone else to truly understand and fully express something that comes from someone else. For Stigma Namjoon also said it "sounds like Taehyung has his own story". But of course for most of their solo songs on Wings we didn’t get to hear all that much of the meaning behind them.

But somehow there are a few of these expressions and examples where it really seems like Taehyung might be held back somewhat, perhaps in particular when it comes to songwriting.

There is of course the Christmas song, and that is probably the most direct example. Even more so relevant from a Vmin perspective because it also touches on the subject of romantic expressions between Vmin because of the lyrics being “not fit for two men to sing” and being denied for that reason.

Then we also have the way Taehyung spoke about Sweet Night and Inner Child.

First in this Vlive with Namjoon, where he said he tends to write what he has felt himself when speaking about Inner Child.

In the same clip Taehyung also said it was difficult to get to express the things he wanted. That the staff had a hard time and that he wasn't able to realize what was in his mind. But it’s very difficult to say if this was about sound or lyrics/expression.

It’s really impossible to make a song analysis for Vmin and not reference other analysis of other songs at this point... But I’ve talked about Sweet Night before in Sweet Night - Song analysis and HERE.

But then he later on also confirmed in an interview that Sweet Night in particular was meant for his mixtape, and thus not meant for the drama. Once again it’s a song that starts from Taehyung’s feelings.

We know that Taehyung likes to write things he has felt, and we know he has sometimes seemingly had struggles to express those things. I don’t know if these other examples (except with Happy Christmas) are more about being unable to express it because he doesn’t know how, but it could also be him not being able to express certain things.

Because then there is the "Tone it down" comment he apparently got to hear from Bang PD which Taehyung mentioned in relation to the making of BE when talking about his own mixtape.

Yoongi brings up a valid question, because while we know that Blue & Grey is a song that talks about Tae’s hardships and that BTS in general can bring up ��darker” topics. We don’t know if this was a comment on a particular song or if Tae had several and we have no clue to what kind of details they might want Taehyung to tone down. I do know many (not just Vminies) have wondered if it might be LGBT+ related, but again we only have speculations here.

Speaking of LGBT+ I also can’t help but notice that there are 3 possible LGBT+ references in Taehyung’s songs. The first and most obvious being the lyric reference to the movie Moonlight in 4 o’clock, secondly the cover of Confessions of a mask seemingly being used as inspiration for imagery in Singularity, and thirdly the “You make me want to be a better man” line from Snow Flower being a possible reference from the movie As good as it gets. On top of this there is of course Happy Christmas basically being denied because it’s romantic lyrics that isn’t “fit” for Vmin to sing together.

I think that the music Taehyung makes is very important and personal to him, as he has said as much. I think it says very much that 4 o’clock and Happy Christmas involve Jimin to some extent at least and that Taehyung has many times talked about giving Jimin songs. If Taehyung is held back, it’s understandable that he would get frustrated. I think we even have a direct example with how he expressed the problem with his Christmas song live to us all.

What Taehyung gives us is things he wants to talk about and express, which to me is just another example of why looking at Taehyung and what he says and does kind of brings a bit more weight to any shipping or relationship conversation about him.

Lyrics like “sharing my fragile truth” or “I'll be back to tell another story of mine” to me in combination with the way he emphasis wanting to be honest and write about things he has felt is just another layer to Taehyung’s songs I find interesting.

What all these examples brings to mind to me as a Vminie is the Vmin Unit interview and Taehyung's "As honestly as possible".

For me it feels like Taehyung is telling us his story and his feelings “as well as he can” by expressing things through his songs, but that there could be reasons he isn’t saying everything he wishes he could say and perhaps even that the company might advise him to keep some things a bit more vague.

8. Taehyung’s mixtape

There are a few interesting aspects about Taehyung’s mixtape and what we might get on it and this section will be more speculation and theories about upcoming things.

First of all we know that Taehyung said there is a song that will be very similar to 4 o’clock on his mixtape (he talked about this the same day as Vmin’s unit interview for Friends). Another translation explains it as more of a “continuation” of 4 o’clock, which is definitely interesting if that’s the case.

Then there is just the general fact that Vmin seem very interested in collaborating and show a lot of interest in each other’s music in general.

We also got Taehyung mention he is writing a song for sleepless nights when he had a conversation with an ARMY on weverse May 4th 2020, meaning after the release of Sweet night but before Blue and Grey.

We did also get a snippet of the song “Sleep” on April 21st 2021 (at 4.24 am) so that could also have been the song he was talking about. Regardless Taehyung is really using this theme a lot.

We also got some interesting things from Taehyung which people wonder if it might have to do with his mixtape and a new song. It started on April 1st when Tae came back to Weverse after a while and, amongst others, commented on this post by an ARMY.

This is a very small detail, but the ARMY mentions Jimin as “a soft sunny spot of a spring day” and Taehyung as “the gentle breeze that brushes against your skin...” and Taehyung’s reply uses spring flowers (cherry blossoms) fluttering in the breeze. To be fair this is a reach, and it wouldn’t be weird if Tae didn’t think about Jimin’s role being in spring at all.

Then he tweeted about a song called Loop (by Peakboy) along with some cherry blossoms and a new expression.

Most interesting here is perhaps the line about “I am starting to feel more comfortable in the darkness.” As we know Taehyung seems to find the night sweet now, and this is another example that might point at it being something that has changed over time.

Then there is the "I flower purple you", which seems to be Taehyung's new name for cherry blossoms (or he just didn't have any better emoji). And if so the possibility of what that love means and how it can connect to spring and possibly Jimin (through his “Not Tata. It’s the face of I purple you” comment).

So we have the purple flower on the cover of Snow Flower and then Tae using Cherry blossoms together with the new tag. I am just saying that if Spring is a possible topic for a song on Taehyung’s album, I will be very curious to see what it says.

We also have Jimin drawing a Cherry blossom tree on his shoes in ITS. If Taehyung has been thinking about adding a song to his mixtape which uses references to spring or even more Cherry blossoms in particular, it’s possible Jimin was perhaps thinking of this song while choosing his motif. But this is definitely a reach and likely has no bigger meaning except that Jimin finds Cherry blossoms pretty.

And just recently at 4 o’clock in the morning on August 27th 2021 we had Jimin post “I miss you every single day” which does match with the lyrics of Spring Day “보고싶다”, though I definitely think this is too common to mean anything.

Still, there are a lot of small things to find, and either I am just finding things because I am looking, or there might be something to it. There are just a lot of matching things at this point, and I don’t know if they all can be random coincidences even though I am sure some of them are.

I don’t know if Taehyung will release his mixtape, or if he does if it will be what he wanted or at least started originally, but I hope he can release and sing the songs he wants to sing. Either way I will look forward to whatever he decided to share and am curious what stories he will sing about next.

9 - Summary

Spring Day was released in February 2017 as an addition to the Wings album on You never walk alone. Meaning it also comes very soon after Lie and Stigma which both have these themes of being in pain and feeling bad about themselves. There are also a lot of songs from Taehyung in particular (but also Jimin) about wanting to be together with someone but either having to wait or being unsure about the future. The time of release is the beginning of 2017, more precisely in February which was also a very good time for Vminies, not the least since we got the Soulmate claim. It was in other words during the Spring Day/Not today era where Vmin first claimed each other as soulmates in public.

If we put together that Taehyung both references the scene in 4 o'clock which Jimin is linked to, and uses scenes from Spring Day for Scenery it's possible Taehyung has done these references because they have personal meaning to him. And it's possible that since one of those references (4 o’clock) might be connected to Jimin that the other one (Spring Day) might be as well. Again, keep in mind the lyrics of Spring Day and in particular how it includes "you're my best friend" and how Taehyung has also used “Are you my best friend?” in the lyrics of Sweet Night which is also romantic.

Now of course this is all under the assumption that Winter Bear and Scenery too could be Vmin songs, but even if they aren’t at the very least it does seem to be examples of Spring Day being very important and inspiring for Taehyung. He references Spring Day directly for his own promotion of both Scenery and Winter Bear and considering the lyrics and themes I do think the songs could have connections through inspiration at least. If you want to read more on why those songs have other connections to Jimin you can also read my posts Vmin - Scenery, Promise and song connections and Vmin - Winter Bear analysis.

What we end up with are these:

Possible similar themes and lyrics between Spring Day and other Taehyung songs.

Possible thematic similarities for Jimin's songs as well.

Jimin and Taehyung both loving Spring Day and creating moments with each other during it.

Hobi referencing Spring Day in reaction to a Vmin moment.

Spring Day possibly being referenced for 4 o’clock release.

Spring Day being directly referenced in relation to Scenery twice.

Spring Day being referenced with the release promo for Winter Bear.

The possible scene between Vmin in the park from 4 o’clock being referenced in Scenery (also the release time of the teaser), meaning in extension Spring Day references to Scenery could have a connection to the same person.

Vmin both having a certain love for the winter season and night which they have used in their songs.

Friends including "Cold winters" as something they have gone through together.

Friends including them saying they want to stay together forever.

An interesting timeline with how Vmin was during Spring Day era and what songs Tae wrote around that time.

Many of the expressions in Taehyung’s songs matching how he talks and thinks about Jimin.

12 out of 13 songs having either the theme of Night/Day or Winter. And 4 out of these songs having confirmed direct links between Vmin.

As usual there are a lot of things in the details that are much more difficult to know if they have meaning or not, but at the very least there are many things that fits with the narrative that Spring Day means a lot to Taehyung and that he could be influenced by the themes and how they also match well with Jimin in particular.

If I would sum it up with Vmin as characters in this ongoing narrative in their songs it would look something like this:

Taehyung's perspective: It's difficult and he wonders what the future holds. He's unsure and doesn't know if he can pull Jimin closer even if he wants to and even if Jimin seems to feel the same it seems like a double edged sword. Being hidden or them not being able to be together as more than friends is something he struggles with. He wants to express himself and he tries through his songs. But even if they have each other now and he seems to gradually get more used to the "Night/Winter" over time, it is a constant struggle. He wishes that he was stronger, but Jmin being there with him helps him.

Jimin's perspective: We don't have as many songs from Jimin, so perhaps he doesn’t have as much of a need to express himself outwards in general. He is better at being ok with what they have, or at least at seeming like it. 'I say that it's all okay. But maybe that's not what I truly think.'. He can "sleep" early on and he smiles even though the smiles aren't always happy, and in contrast Taehyung can't. Basically what Jimin is doing is being better at hiding it. But Jimin also wants Taehyung to be his own light and night. In it all he also promises to stay and that Taehyung is his and expresses how he wants to be together when BTS is over.

I guess you could say that winter has been a hibernation period for their relationship. In particular for Jimin. But now they can both enjoy even this period because unlike earlier they are waiting together, they have reached each other, they can hold hands and give each other warmth when they need it. They know where they stand and have mostly reconciled with the thought of waiting to be together properly. Even if it's always going to be difficult.

I might be taking some of the lyrics a bit too literally. Either way it seems both of them are more ok with the current situation compared to before. To me if there is a Vmin perspective here it seems to slowly change with time in how they express it but that the want and wish to be together has always been there. It also seems possible that finally after all this time and uncertainty some things have become easier, and that there might even be change towards something even better in the future.

I’ve been working on this theory for a long time. Like I said, the original plan was to post on February 13th for the anniversary. But it was a lot bigger and took more time than expected. I also didn’t expect Taehyung to give me new reasons to raise my eyebrows. One being this new song 'Sleep' with it’s lyrics, and the other being the cherry blossoms he posted about. I am very curious to see what we might get for KTH1 when it comes out.

Spring is coming.

(Ok sorry for the joke but I am actually scared if Spring would be coming in regards to Taehyung's song narrative. Way more scary than Winter coming if you ask me.)

#vmin #vmin analysis #vmin song analysis #vmin spring day analysis #part 4 #vmin gif #Vmin song analysis - Winter in August #btsandvmin #my post #long post

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fullconstellationalt · 4 years ago

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You Weren’t My Mission: Ch. 1

Chapter One – A Second Encounter

TW: alcohol, implied violence

Note: Hello! All chapters will have warnings at the beginning of their content and possible triggers. If you find that I miss any triggers, please let me know and I will add them to the chapter warnings as soon as possible. Thank you! <3

Series masterpost

Also available on Wattpad and AO3

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

His eyes were fixed on yours, gaze intense despite the physical distance between you. If the sight of his metal hand hadn’t confirmed that it was him, then his face solidified it. You’d seen this exact glare in your nightmares for years now. Although nearly a decade had passed since the last time you saw him, you had never been able to shake the memory. It was him, and you were sure of it. ･:*:･ﾟ☆

Your thumb swept around the surface your glass, collecting the droplets of condensation that had begun building up. With one final swig you downed the remainder of your gin and tonic, eyeing the entryway on the lookout for any newcomers.

“You all done for the night, y/n?” Vincent wandered over, dish towel in hand, to collect your glass that was now only filled with ice and a slice of lime. He knew your routine by now — you only ever came by for a single drink after work, people-watching as you unwound before heading home to your quiet apartment. While you hadn’t ever told him that last part, he figured that if you had somewhere urgent to be that you wouldn’t be here every night, although he’d never ask.

“I’ll have another, actually,” you declared, voice unsteady as you weren’t sure in your choice. Typically you’d have one drink and leave, occasionally staying around a bit longer to sip on some water if you really didn’t want to go home that night. But the week had been long and it was only Wednesday; you wanted — no, needed that second drink.

“Sure ‘bout that?”

“Yea, I’m gonna hang around a bit longer tonight.” Vincent’s eyebrows raised as he did a slight nod, reaching below the counter for a new glass, to which you let out a playful scoff. “Don’t act so surprised,” you teased, “I mix it up sometimes.” While you rarely talked, you and Vincent had become more comfortable with your banter over the past year or so. Even the most guarded of patrons like you couldn’t avoid small talk with the bartender — especially not if you were a regular.

As you waited for your drink you scanned your surroundings, looking to see if anybody new had come in for a drink. Weeknights tended to be slower, but there were a few couples and groups of friends scattered throughout the room. You and a man no younger than 50 were the only ones seated at the bar, him closer to the entrance while you sat furthest away at the seat you knew had the best view of the place. Almost every night you were in this exact spot, sipping slowly on whatever drink you’d ordered, checking your phone for the occasional text message or work email, and people-watching. It was pretty rare for you to spend more than an hour there in one evening, but tonight it had been nearly an hour and here you were ordering a second drink.

You jumped when Vincent placed the new glass in front of you, your mind focused on the other people scattered throughout the room. He let out a light chuckle as he turned around, walking towards the other side of the bar; he was pretty used to your skittishness by now. Hand wrapped around your new drink, you brought your focus back to your surroundings. A couple seated at a small table to your right engaged in small talk, exchanging pleasantries in-between awkward sips of their drinks. Definitely a first date, you thought. A burst of laughter from a booth further away caught your attention, where a group of men in suits sat meeting for a drink after work. Aside from that, there was little commotion in the bar tonight. While commotion made for fun people-watching, you preferred the gentle hum of casual conversations on slower nights, the occasional clinking of glasses from Vincent’s cleaning or a new table being served.

Realizing a few minutes had passed, you grabbed for your drink and took a sip, eyes skirting over the rim of the glass as you spotted movement in the entryway.

Suddenly, you wished you hadn’t ordered that second drink.

A tall figure entered the bar, shoulders swaying with each step. When he came to a stop you finally took him in, eyes scanning over the black leather jacket that spanned his broad frame and running down to his hands. Dressed in all black, the flesh tone of his hand stood out. Which made the metallic black of his left hand all the more apparent, confirming what you had hoped was just another instance of unnecessary panic.

The brooding figure wasn’t foreign to you.

Your eyes glossed over as you remembered the last time you’d seen him all those years ago. While the nightmares weren’t as frequent and you were able to go days at a time without thinking about it, you were still able to vividly remember the moment. The way his eyes had met yours, menacing and unforgiving as you held back a wail of pain from the pressure of debris pressing on, or into, your torso. The fear that ripped through you when you registered the M4A1 in his tight grip, barrel pointed in your direction. The way you laid there, shaking and ears ringing, wishing that he, whoever he was, would keep moving past you, that he would leave you be. He had done just that, only pausing for a moment to assess your helpless position before lowering the barrel of his gun and trudging onward in his search for his true target.

So many times since then you thought you’d seen him again, only to sigh with relief when you saw the two flesh hands of whoever had startled you.

But this wasn’t one of those moments, and the sight of his metal hand confirmed it. It wasn’t silver like the one in your memory, but there were only so many guys out there with bionic left arms.

You came out of your trance to find that his eyes were fixed on yours, gaze intense despite the physical distance between you. If the sight of his metal hand hadn’t confirmed that it was him, then his face solidified it. You’d seen this exact glare in your nightmares for years now. Although nearly a decade had passed since the last time you saw him, you had never been able to shake the memory. It was him, and you were sure of it.

With a slight roll of his shoulders and a subtle nod, he dropped his gaze to the floor and began his slow descent towards the bar.

The sip of gin and tonic you had taken still sat on your tongue as you finally lowered the glass, letting the liquid slide down your throat and feeling the tingling sensation travel down to your chest. Your breath was shallow as your hands started to shake, to which you began fidgeting with the closest thing in front of you — the paper napkin that had been under your glass. As you ran your fingers along its corners and kept your eyes glued to the bar top, you felt his presence near yours, confirmed by the sound of heavy footsteps that approached.

The scent of fresh balsam and a bit of mint flooded your senses as you noticed him standing to your side, giving you a moment to take in his presence before sliding into the seat to your right. Having kept your eyes trained on the napkin at your fingertips, you subtly glanced over, noting the metal arm that was closest to you. It’s really him, you confirmed. Instead of a reflective silver like the arm you remembered, this one was much darker, a black metal with hints of gold in between the plates. You couldn’t see further up than his wrist, the rest of his arm concealed by the jacket.

It took everything in you to refrain from bouncing your leg against your barstool. Maybe if I stay as still as possible, you thought to yourself, I’ll make it out of here alive. You had no clue what he wanted and it terrified you.

The desire to fidget became all the more intense as you felt him shifting his upper body to face you while in his seat. Your breath hitched when his flesh hand came into view, extended for a greeting in your direction. He let out a low sigh as you shifted your gaze slightly, glancing at his hand before sheepishly making eye contact with the man who had once both threatened and spared your life. You watched as he slightly parted his lips, allowing for a gentle smile to form at the corner of his lips.

“Long time, no see, Miss y/n. I’m James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and you’re a part of my efforts to make amends.”

Next Chapter (Chapter 2 – Making Amends)

A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter of this story! I'm currently drafting up what will come next, but am in the end of a semester so it may be a few days until I have something ready to publish. This is my first longer work and I'm looking forward to the journey. Stay tuned for updates, and please let me know if you have any comments or questions!

#Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes angst #Winter Soldier #winter soldier fanfic #marvel fanfiction #Sebastian Stan #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #angst #bucky makes amends #you weren't my mission #bucky fanfic

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naminethewriter · 3 years ago

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America’s Favourite Gameshow!!

Day 2 and I’m still on track! It’s way too late though and I hope I get done with the other prompts sometime before 12am 😴 Anyway, have fun with this silly little fluff story 💙💚🥰 @intrulogicalweek2021

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Intrulogical Week 2021 Masterpost

Characters: Remus, Logan

Relationship: romantic Intrulogical

Rating: G

Words: 1,480

Summary: Logan just wanted to make sure his boyfriend ate something. Remus wants entertainment more.

Logan walked along the halls of Remus’ castle in search of his boyfriend who had run off after breakfast to continue some project of his. Now, hours later, Logan wanted to ensure that he had eaten since then because while they didn’t require to eat, considering they were just figments of Thomas’ overactive subconscious, it had proven to be beneficial to their wellbeing as well as Thomas’. It had taken Logan almost a year of research to come to that conclusion but it had been well worth the effort.

But both sides of Creativity were prone to forgetting the passage of time while working on one of their passion projects, hence Logan’s decision to check on Remus this afternoon. He had already looked through most of the grounds and was now on his way up into a tower. It was pretty much separated from the rest of the castle and nobody but Logan and the Duke himself had access and Remus spend a lot of time up there doing whatever he wants without disturbance. The only reason that Logan had put off checking there first is because he disliked the long, long staircase leading up. About three fourth of the way up, Logan could hear cluttering sounds, so it seemed reasonable to assume his search would soon be over.

After another five minutes of climbing he finally reached the top, only one door separating him from whatever mess Remus has caused this time. Logan took a few deep breaths before pushing it open.

Pure Chaos laid before him. He couldn’t even begin to describe it. Furniture overturned and broken. Paint or something colourful had gotten everywhere. Glass shards, papers, confetti, everything scattered randomly around the room and Remus in the middle of it.

Logan didn’t even attempt going any further in. Instead he called out to his boyfriend who turned to face so fast, his head rotated more than it should with a sickening crack.

“Lolo!” he grinned, pulling his head back into the right position before climbing over the rubble to the door. As soon as he got into touching distance he wrapped himself around Logan in a tight hug. His boyfriend just patted his arm until he let go. “What brings you here, starshine? You horny?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Logan to roll his eyes.

“No Remus, I am not horny. I simply came to check on you since I haven’t seen you since breakfast.”

“Ah shit, is it already evening? Damn time flies when you’re busy, huh.”

“What were you doing in the first place? This entire room is a mess.” Logan immediately regretted asking when he saw the smile spreading across his boyfriend’s face. “No, Remus, please-“

Too late.

Remus snapped and suddenly there was a spotlight on the two of them, two more swinging across the room that was now notably darker. Some kind of jingle started playing and an invisible audience started applauding. Remus, now in a suit, brought a microphone to his mouth.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! You have waited patiently and now it is finally time to play America’s favourite gameshow! It’s” – the fake audience yelled along the next words –

“Art or Science!”

“The rules are simple,” Remus continued alone. “Our returning champion, Logan ‘Logic’ Sanders, has five minutes to survey the room and then he has to decide: did I cause this chaos in the name of Art or Science! He is allowed to ask me three things to specify, not one hint more. Our contestant has a success rate of 66% so far and I’m sure we are all curious to see the result of our fourth episode of-!” Remus held the mic away from him and again the imaginary audience shouted:

“Art or Science!”

“Now, Logan. Are you ready to start?” Remus held out the mic to Logan this time who groaned and levelled him with an unimpressed glare.

“Is this really necessary, Cephy?” Remus laughed and threw his arms open.

“Of course not, but it’s fun so we’re doing it!” Logan massaged his temple. Ever since Thomas had taken to binge watching SNL sketches on YouTube, Remus had been practically enthralled with their game show parodies. Especially if Bill Hader (Remus’ favourite cast member) played the host. His top spot shifted between ‘What’s that Name?’ and ‘Who’s on Top’ every five minutes and Logan couldn’t deny that the chaos of those concepts fit Remus very well, so it should be no surprise that he thought of his own little show. It just annoyed Logan that he was the only contestant ever having to deal with it.

Well, at least it was short. He could play along for five minutes.

“Fine, start the clock.” Remus cheered, as did the audience, and the light returned to how it was before, with the entire room evenly lit.

“As always, please don’t hesitate to give us play-by-play commentary on your thought process, Sherlock,” Remus giggled and Logan nodded absentmindedly, already scanning the room for clues. He took the first minute to simply think and his boyfriend let him but Logan knew he would grow impatient eventually.

“Clearly there is both art supplies as well as lab equipment present and I have witnessed you using both for the others intended purpose, so that does not provide any essential hints. The furniture is mostly broken and out of place. Especially that table that seems to be hanging out the window and only hangs on with one leg anchored inside. The glass was most likely smashed by said table. This could point to a possible explosion that resulted after a failed experiment, favouring science as its cause. Though again, I have seen you set off an explosion to create an art piece of yours so it is not concrete proof either.” Remus nodded along to his descriptions and a spotlight also shone on the areas he talked about.

“Now for my first question, I would like you to confirm whether the dark red substance in that corner is blood or not.”

“It’s not, though I tried my best to get it to smell the same.” Logan nodded, again falling silent for a moment to think. The quiet was broken by a croak and something moved though it was hidden enough that Logan couldn’t quite make it out.

“You used live specimen. Not unheard off for your art but more common with experiments. Especially frogs.”

“Toads, not frogs actually.”

“I can tell apart a frog croaking and toad doing the same, Remus. That sound was a frog.”

“Nah, you see, I like how toads look better but frogs sound more appealing, so I made a toad that croaked like a frog.”

“Fascinating. Could you show it to me later?”

“Sure! Also that counts as your second questions.” Logan glared at his boyfriend for a moment but relented.

“Fine.” He continued to point out other details about the room and whether they pointed towards art or science and soon Remus announced that he had only 30 seconds left. Logan contemplated in his head and came to a decision at the same moment Remus called:

“Time! Five minutes are up, Ladies and Gentlemen! Now Logan, give us your answer, please!” The room had darkened once again, with a spotlight on Logan and Remus and two others moving around the room.

“I say it’s art.”

“Is that your final answer?”

“Yes, Remus, please do not drag this out any longer.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand around before getting back into character. “His answer is locked in! Now let’s see if he’s right. Is it art?” A drumroll played and then a bang. Even more confetti poured out of the ceiling, along with balloons, the normal, oval ones and those long ones with two of the former tied to one of the latter (I’m sure you can guess what that symbolises, we’re talking about Remus here after all).

“Coooooooorrrreeeeccccctttt!” Applause roared and Remus threw an arm around his boyfriend, pulling him close. “Another win for our returning champion! With this his success rate is now at 75%! How are you feeling, are you proud?” He held out the mic to Logan, who rolled his eyes.

“I am alright, now please wrap this up.” Remus giggled but complied.

“That was it for this episode of-“

“Art or Science!”

“See you next time, folks!” And with another snap, things returned to normal, the lights, the sounds and Remus’ outfit. “Wasn’t that fun, starlight?”

“It was fine, Remus.”

“You just don’t like admitting it~”

“No matter, that is not what I came up here for anyway.”

“Oh yeah, why did you come here?”

“To ask if you have eaten since breakfast.”

“Oh, rotten shit, I forgot.”

“I thought as much. Come on, I secured you some leftovers from lunch and the rest of the hot sauce.”

“You are the best, moonlight.”

#namiswriting #my writing #intrulogicalweek2021 #day 2: art/science #intrulogical #ts logan #logan sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #fluff #gameshow #remus is the king of chaos #logan is a bit done #just a bit though #he can't deny his boyfriend some fun #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #reblogs and kudos are appreciated!

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princecharmingmendes · 3 years ago

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Heart by Heart | Chapter II | Raul Mendes

*secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the second chapter of this series, you can find the first one here. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter

*Word Count: 5.2K+

*Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence/crimes, migraine due to work stress, Raul teasing the reader endlessly (for me, that’s the most important warning). Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings.

*Posted: July 8th, 2021.

-*-

A week later things were back to normal.

Sure, the night they came back, after they were checked for any injuries on the med department and were cleared, Raul dragged her back to his apartment claiming he was craving sushi and he was only ordering if she was with him. In reality, that was a way to keeping his head busy with something else so the events of that day would be coped nicely without so much suffering. And one way of doing it was keeping his girl, best friend and partner, at a close distance so he knew she’d be safe and well.

He was extra sweet that night, making sure she had everything she needed, even agreed to put on face masks with her while watching a random movie. And she was really glad to have him near. The thought of him getting her, or worst... it just killed her a bit. But he was safe and he had his arms securely around her, and that was enough to put her on dreamland and having a great night of sleep.

Unfortunately that was not the case for Y/N today.

Ever since Seth was back, he spent most of his time on the med bay to recover, he had to go through surgery and was finally recovering, but ever since he was back, every piece of information he had was being collected, and she was the one responsible to write it down. Most of the info he had was encoded and she was supposed to break it. Y/N’s been working nonstop for the past week, and when she had the opportunity to relax all by herself in her house, she felt restless. The main reason is that the person who had Seth was one of the most wanted man on the planet. Geonoff Reyes was capable of the vilest things without giving a second thought, and he’s been wanted for years now, and apparently Seth had the newest information of his whereabouts and new plans.

And knowing that was enough to put Y/N in restless nights of sleep, when she was even able to drift off. Most of her hours were invested on figuring out whatever she could, and several nights were only the continuation of her job during the day. And yeah, it was reckless and a bit stupid of her to sacrifice so much in a research, but Y/N knew this was a great opportunity and the biggest amount of clues they’ve ever received, she couldn’t let this all go. And she had to work fast, so Geonoff didn’t have enough time to notice some information missing or that someone outside of his limited inner circle so he wouldn’t chance anything. Or even move outside the country again, putting a massive political obstacle on their way.

Y/N should’ve known better than to barely get any sleep in over seven days. She knew better than to barely eat or drink anything other than coffee. She knew and did it anyone. And that’s why she ended up where she was. Seven A.M. sharp on her little office on her company’s Head Quarters with a killing migraine that only got worse under the fluorescent lights. Y/N groaned softly as she basically collided on her office chair, cursing under her breath whoever thought bright white lights was a great idea. She was softly rubbing her temples when she heard a knock on her door, before someone came in without being invited, a delicious smell of coffee coming alongside the intruder. She didn’t need to look up to know Raul would be standing right in front of her desk.

“What?” she grumbled, spinning in her chair to turn on her computer without even sparing a glance at him.

Raul chuckled “good morning to you too, sunshine, I’m not even daring to ask how you are”

Y/N rolled her eyes and wincing at the pain the movement brought her “look, go pester someone else, I’m not in a good day”

“Yeah, that’s easy to see, gremlin, that’s why I brought you this” and a soft thud on her desk made her turn.

Raul was standing in front of her desk as she imagined, wearing his usual black outfit, a long sleeved tight turtleneck, accentuating all the muscles on his arms and back, tucked into a pair of dark grey trousers and Y/N had to hold back all her thoughts that were rather inappropriate to have on your best friend. And she wanted to be mad at how effortlessly beautiful he looked, just standing there, hands supporting his weight on the glass table as he leant forward casually to pick at her computer. He looked like a fucking runaway model at seven in the morning, his citric scent leaving her slightly intoxicated, but she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just naturally hot.

She than darted her eyes from his body quickly to not seem as if she was ogling him, which she totally was, only to be met with a steaming cup of black coffee. She rolled her eyes on the little attempts of black hearts he drew with a sharpie alongside a poorly written ‘secret admirer’ on the disposable cup. Y/N shook her head huffing a laugh as she took it.

“Aren’t you supposed to thank me?”

Y/N arched her brow at him “what for, exactly?”

“For being the best friend you’ll ever have?!” he stated as if it was obvious “come on, you look like you need it and I swear I didn’t spike it with anything”

“You’re saying you did out of your own free will? A benevolent act?” Y/N questioned playfully inspecting the cup.

Raul scoffed feigning hurt “Of course, I’m a good guy, practically a gentleman, you gremlin, how dare you think any different?” Behind all the teasing in his voice, she could see the worry evident in his golden eyes. Raul didn’t know all the details about what she was digging into since that were her boss’s order, but he knew enough to know she was probably overworking herself and getting a bit anxious. He knew her better than anyone and there were barely any secrets between them.

“Fine” Y/N sighed taking a sip from the coffee, and it was precisely what she liked “thank you for being a decent human being once in your lifetime”

“You are very welcome, so any news?” he asked pointing to the screens of her computer.

“Not really, I guess I was too tired to do much last night” she said opening all the images she had collected over the past week on her five computer screens “you know basically all the important stuff I gathered, I’m also monitoring the surveillance cameras on the places he might be, trying to get a glimpse of him, but till now nothing, only this car that’s been parked here for five days now”

“Weird”

Y/N giggled to herself before closing everything again “yeah, I know”

“So, I didn’t exactly came here just for the coffee” Raul said crossing his arms across his chest, standing on his full height, his biceps popping against the fabric of his shirt.

“Of course not, I was just waiting for you order, cap” she said as she reached into her purse for a painkiller.

His signature smirk appeared as he beamed down at her “Don’t tempt me, doll”

“What is it then?” she asked and before Raul could reply, someone knocked on her door.

“Come in” he managed to say before her and soon enough Raul’s copy stuck his head inside.

“Oh hi guys” Peter said before fully walking in and closing the door behind him “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, what do you need?” Y/N said turning to face him completely.

Seeing Peter right beside Raul just made them look a lot more different. Sure, they were triplets, but they had completely opposite personalities. While Raul looked like a super model bad boy out of every romcom, Peter looked soft and gentle. He was just as handsome, his hair a bit more messy and a pair of glasses perched on his nose, adding to the soft features. He also wore light washed jeans and a very soft looking button up, a permanent blush on his cheeks. And despite the 6’3 and big muscles, he was almost like a walking teddy bear with a golden heart, specially if you got to know him.

“I actually have some stuff for you two to test on my lab downstairs, and I thought since I was already here I could call you two to join me”

“Oh of course” Y/N said jumping to her feet and cursing under her breath, momentarily having forgotten the excruciating migraine she was still having “now right?”

“Yeah, but only if you can”

“Sure, come on, Raul” Y/N said grabbing her cup of coffee before walking to the door.

Raul chuckled lowly before following her and his brother to the elevator “whatever you say, boss”

“Don’t give me any ideas” she mumbled before pressing the button, but as soon as the doors opened, Y/N regretted getting out of her office.

Standing on the elevator was Daphne. Daphne was one breathtakingly gorgeous woman. With bright green eyes and golden soft model like waves, always dressed nicely and with paper white teeth, and to top that, she was a great agent. But she clearly had a crush on Raul and she’s been hitting on him for a while now, but he didn’t seem to care much, which made no sense at all. And for some reason she wasn’t as friendly towards Y/N, Daphne was never directly rude, but she always made sure to look her up and down and was never her friendly self. And Y/N wasn’t one to push anyone to like her, it just made situations like this a bit more awkward.

“Oh hello” Daphne said with a warm smile.

“Morning” Raul responded as he climbed in the elevator.

Y/N mumbled a quick “hi” before moving to the back of it with Peter.

Daphne turned towards Raul and gently placed her hand on his bicep “I heard about the little incident on your latest mission, are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, not even a single scratch”

“That’s great, I mean, how did it happen again? Was it a failure on the planning or watching?” she asked and Y/N almost spat the coffee she was drinking, seeing Peter send a look her way.

“It was my fault actually, the team handed it pretty well” Raul replied unceremoniously.

“Oh, I see” she said pulling her hand from his arm and nervously placing a strand of loose hair behind her ear “hm, actually there was something I wanted to ask you”

God, how long could this elevator take to arrive on the last floor.

Raul only hummed in response, turning his face to the side to watch her so Daphne proceeded “Hm, there’s this new place that opened this weekend down the street and apparently the sandwiches there are amazing, me and a few other agents were planning to have lunch there today, and I was wondering if you’d like to join”

With that he truly seemed taken aback a bit “oh, I unfortunately can’t today, I’m sorry” with that he turned back to face Y/N “that’s what I wanted to tell you earlier, we have that lunch meeting today, Shawn’s in town and he wanted to invite you to lunch with us and his friends”

“Oh shit, I completely forgot” Y/N whined, her head pounding “I don’t think I can make it today, I’m so sorry”

Raul smiled softly at her “yeah, I figured, if you get any better let me know”

“Oh you’re sick?” Daphne asked turning to her as well.

Y/N shook her head, regretting it immediately “just a bit of a migraine”

“I hope you get better soon” Daphne offered a tight lip smile and Y/N just nodded in response.

“We’re here” Peter said for the first time “Bye, Daphne” he said getting out of the elevator pulling Y/N with him.

“Why are you running? Slow down, you’re gonna pull my arm off” Y/N hushed it as Peter kept on with the fast pace.

“What was that?” he asked in a low tone.

Y/N then came in realization “right?! Why won’t he go out with her?”

“I think he might be just not interested at all, but I wasn’t talking about that, you know Raul can be pretty secretive about his feelings, right?” Peter asked with an archer brow, knowing look on his eyes.

Y/N stepped into his lab alongside him “well yeah”

“I don’t know, I think I saw something there”

“Between me and Raul?!”

Peter leaned against his desk with his arms crossed “Well, more of him towards you, it’s actually something I’ve been noticing for a while”

“What are you even talking about? He’s always been like that with me” Y/N tried avoiding Peter’s gaze, afraid somehow that would give away the little spark of hope on her eyes.

“No, I mean, yes, but I feel like that intensified a bit, just pay attention to it” he said and then looked behind her.

Y/N turned around only to be met with Raul standing at the door “sorry, got a little caught up”

“We noticed, cap, it’s okay, no important details were discussed in your absence” she said teasingly and he just rolled his eyes playfully at her.

“Okay, I upgraded your coms a bit, so switching between channels will be easier” Peter started picking up the little earpieces up “And I also took notes about the appearance of my glasses yeah? Now would you mind approving the design of it, miss fashion icon”

Y/N laughed softly and went to check on the 3D design “thank you, I do take fashion very seriously, I only loose it to your brother”

Raul scoffed “Of course I would be involved in it somehow”

Peter laughed “come on, I need to show you this thing I want to put on your suit, Y/N can you please check the new computer I promised you?”

“Oh my, it’s ready?” She said turning to them, suddenly feeling a lot better.

“It’s on the corner right there, just feel free to explore it and adapt it to how you like it best, and then it’s yours” Peter said with a bright smile on his features as he dragged Raul away.

Y/N sat down on the desk he pouted at, opening the super resistant protective case and being faced with a beautiful tiny computer she could use on future missions. She finished her coffee, feeling the medicine kick in as she dumped the empty cup on the trash, before sitting down in front of her new screen and starting to work on it. Y/N lost track of time as she explored the new configurations, installed the programs she used. She only noticed she’s been there for over two hours when she felt someone carefully placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looked up to check the time, being met with Raul standing right beside her.

“Oh, hi” she said feeling her face warming up as he smiled softly at her.

“Don’t spend too much time with this, you’ll have more opportunities later, sweetheart, don’t force yourself too much” he squeezed her shoulder a bit and she sighed nodding “how are you feeling?”

She looked up at him, cracking her back on the process “Better, I think the coffee helps a bit and the painkiller did a great job”

“Good, I’m guessing you still won’t be able to make it to Shawn’s crowded and noisy lunch” Raul had a little amused look in his eyes and Y/N giggled at that, shaking her head.

“Definitely not, might as well skip lunch and nap on my lunch break”

Raul nodded “It’s tempting but you need food, now how about I take you to that salad shop you like, we buy ourselves a quick to go one, eat it at your office and nao for like, forty minutes maybe? How does that sound?”

Y/N contained the urge to lunch forward and wrap him in her arms “Pretty fucking great, but what about Shawn?”

“I’ll meet him later for dinner with Peter, so he wouldn’t mind”

��Oh”

“So, are you in, doll?”

Y/N shook her head “you had me in the forty minute nap, say no more”

Raul laughed “Of course I had, know you better than anyone”

“That is unfortunately true” she mumbled grabbing the computer and getting up.

Raul stared at her quizzically “Why is that unfortunate?”

“Cause that will only feed your ever growing ego”

“You wound me, sweetheart” he said with frightened hurt, a hand clutched over his heart.

Y/N rolled her eyes at him as they both said their goodbyes to Peter, who only threw a knowing look in her direction and a little wink when Raul wasn’t looking. She only rolled her eyes, shoving her middle finger in the air behind Raul’s back to Peter, who only laughed in response. But Raul might have felt her arm hovering his back, cause he looked down at her, throwing his charming smile down at her and throwing his arm around her shoulders as the climbed in the elevator again.

Oh great, now Y/N had one more thing to keep her awake all night, wondering if she was crazy and Raul could be somehow interested in her and if she should do something about it. But do what? Tell him she liked him? Kissing him? Confronting someone who already has a hard time talking feelings about how he felt about her?! Only terrible scenarios played in her head with every little thing she thought about. But before she could go on spiraling, Raul gently squeezed her shoulder making Y/N look up at him.

“Still with me, sweetheart?” he asked smirking at her and she only huffed rolling her eyes, making Raul full on laugh.

-*-

Later that morning, they ended up following Raul’s idea. Around noon he knocked on her office again, with his leather jacket and ready to go, Y/N then just grabbed her coat and purse, ready to follow him to the elevator again. They kept a light banter, talking about conspiracy theories and random gossip, and she felt really better but was too tired to socialize with a lot of people. So they walked down the street a couple of blocks to a little shop where they bought salad bowls and iced tea “to balance things out” according to Raul about how much coffee she’s had the past week.

They ordered to go and walked back to the HQ that looked like a very fancy business building, but instead of going back to her office, they headed to Raul’s instead. There they sat down on his couch since it was bigger as they casually had lunch, and right after, he convinced Y/N to get comfortable on the couch as he relaxed right next to her. Y/N curled into a little ball on the further corner of the couch, but he was quick to tut his tongue at her.

“Here, sweetheart, you can lay your head on my lap and stretch your legs on the couch, yeah? And you can grab that little fluffy blanket if you want” He was quick to offer and Y/N sighed.

“Are you sure?” she asked eyeing him suspiciously “I don’t want to bother you” he chuckled softly and nodded

“Of course, we still have 50 minutes of lunch break, nap a bit, baby, come here” Raul said in such a gentle tone, almost cooing at her and how could she possibly say no to that?

She removed her boots before laying her head on his lap and pulling her legs to stretch across the rest of the couch, while she got comfy, she felt the gentle weight of the thick fluffy blanket being laid on top of her. Y/N sighed in relief as she slowly closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully relax, and feeling the soft caress of Raul’s fingers gently combing through her hair was only making it easier to fall asleep. And so she did.

She dreamed of something random, she was stuck in a boat and it didn’t really make much sense, but it was better than the sleepless nights or the scary things her mind came up with. So waking up was not the best sensation, but Raul managed to make the experience less unpleasant. He was very softly coaxing her to wake up, by gently shaking her shoulder and caressing her cheek, slowly calling her name. Y/N could get used to it.

Raul truly didn’t want to do it, he, himself, didn’t want to get up. He ended up falling asleep a few minutes in, but the timer on his phone vibrating on his hand woke him when he promised he’d wake her up. He almost didn’t have the heart to do it. Y/N looked so peaceful, the frown that’s been on her brows for the whole week was finally gone, but he knew if he didn’t wake her, she’d spend her day blaming herself and wouldn’t be able to sleep properly at night. So he cleared his throat and started calling her gently not to startle her.

Y/N started coming slowly back to her senses, slowly sitting up from Raul’s lap, rubbing at her eyes and checking her phone quickly for important notifications. A low chuckle brought her attention away from her phone and to her best friend beside her, to which she just truly looked at, being able to notice the throw pillow creases on his cheek, the soft curls of his hair a bit messier than usual.

“Hi” he mumbled softly.

Y/N smiled at him before mumbling a “hi” in response.

“Sleep well?” Raul asked as he stretched his arms above his head and she nodded “yeah? I ended up joining you in your nap”

“Don’t blame you, this is a really nice couch”

“Right? Unfortunately this was the first time I took full advantage of it” he chuckled as he got up from the couch, moving to turn on his computer.

Y/N just chuckled before nearly folding his blanket back in its place “well thank you for everything, you truly are a great friend, but I should probably leave and stop bothering you”

“You never bother me, and I know, I’m the best friend anyone could ever wish for” he said sitting on his chair as she leaned down to put her shoes back on.

She just rolled her eyes at him, grabbing her stuff before getting up “there you go, ruining a perfectly sweet moment”

Raul laughed “that’s my biggest ability, doll, thought you knew that already”

“Should’ve guessed it” Y/N said as she opened his door “see you later, thanks again”

Raul just winked at her “anytime” before she closed his door and moved to her office shaking her head, but unable to hold back the smile from blossoming on her lips.

Maybe Peter was wrong and just messing things up, how could he not notice the way Raul affected her? But saw the way he was different with her? It made no sense. And there was no time to go into the rabbit hole, she had better things to do, like spend countless hours uselessly trying to crack a code.

-*-

In the middle of Y/N’s afternoon shift, she was able to spot Geonoff himself on one of the surveillance cameras she’s been watching incessantly for the past weeks. She basically tripped on her on shoes as she scrambled up to her computer to register the appearance, quickly sending it to her boss. They finally were sure where he was and maybe that was enough to set up a plan or something to get him.

Geonoff Reyes was one of the most wanted man right now by intelligences from multiple countries. The man himself had a long list of crimes, that if there was an opportunity would be enough to sentence him for thousands of years. Most of Geonoff’s crimes were related to the mafia, he was one of the biggest and most dangerous bosses there was. He started fairly young, around 15 years old, but that was the extent of information everyone had on his childhood. Some liked to guess it was what kind of household he was raised to blame the way he had become what he became.

He’s been chased for years now, and that’s why Y/N was quick to let her boss, Mrs. Benson, know she found him, compiling all the information she was able to gather this past week in files. So she did what she could and it took her around an hour to have everything printed and organized in a folder, letting Janet she was coming and basically running to the elevator to get to her office.

The heavy metal doors opened on the waiting room outside of her office, being met with Luca, Janet’s personal assistant, who winked at her and pointed at the door. Y/N smiled at him and knocked on the dark wooden doors, opening it silently as she heard people talking inside. Her office was decorated very minimalistic and was usually a very pristine place, but today, there were papers everywhere as Janet, Helen (Janet’s right hand), Dimitri (head of security department) and Raul Mendes stood there apparently discussing the same case.

“Thank God you’re here, darling, please come out this madness to an end” Janet said with a gentle smile as she pointed towards the mess in her table.

Helen chuckled as Dimitri was quick to push their papers to a corner on the table.

“Thank you” Y/N mumbled as she placed her folder down.

Raul silently move to stand right next to her, a careful hand laying on the small of her back in a comforting touch as she looked up at Janet to check if she could start. With a nod from the boss, she started pulling all the evidence she could. All the pictures, the surveillance images, the documents Seth was able to bring back and information he was able to remember as well.

With everything laid out on the table and presented to all of them, Janet ended up telling what she’d been discussing with Helen for the past two days. They both figured the best thing to do at the moment, since they didn’t have enough evidence to make an arrest for this crime and maybe this was a great opportunity to catch another people involved, not only Geonoff. The plan was basically getting new identities and keep a close eye on all of his activities, track down his moves and if possible get even more evidence.

Raul was called because he was the best for this kind of jobs and would be a great leader to the team, Y/N was offered to join the team as well, being his partner and leading the strategic part of the plan. They were also told to pick other agents that they knew would be great for this specific operation, Janet only asking to keep it at a maximum of 5 people including them, the less people knowing, the better.

Of course both agreed and were also instructed to inform Peter so he could separate the gadgets necessary, and obviously intensify their physical training. Despite this being mostly and observant kind of mission, Geonoff was unpredictable and highly dangerous, so being well prepared and extra careful wouldn’t be a bad idea. They were both dismissed for the day and the early shift next morning, so they could rest and plan it as best as they could.

So Y/N was quick to bid her goodbyes as she placed everything neatly back on the folder and moved out of the room. As soon as she pressed the button to call the elevator, she heard the office door opening and closing again, rushed steps moving closer to her. She didn’t even need to look to know Raul was the one approaching her since his scent clouded every room he ever stepped into, she only shook her head and looked up at her right as he stood right beside her. He smirked at her with a little wink.

“My house or yours, doll?” he asked as they climbed into the elevator.

“Tonight?” she eyed him suspiciously as she pressed the button to her floor to grab her stuff and he leaned in to press the one to Peter’s. Y/N glanced at him and noticed he had all of his personal belongings with him.

“Of course, I’ll even order from that Thai place you like”

Y/N giggled shaking her head “of course you will, am I supposed to spend the night?”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I’ll invite Peter too” he said with a smile.

Y/N folded her arms across her chest “I thought we were supposed to rest?”

“Oh but we will, I’ll make sure you’ll fall sleep at reasonable hours, eat properly and all that stuff, of course we’re gonna take a look at work, but just a little” he said with a knowing look.

“Fine, daddy” she added with annoyance, rolling her eyes, Raul just laughed and shook his head.

“You can’t just say stuff like that, sweetheart”

“What? Does it do something for you?” She asked looking up at him and he just shrugged as the doors opened at her floor.

“There’s only one way to find out, doll” he added with a smirk, a teasing tone evident on his voice as he leaned the weight of his body on the elevator doors to hold it for her, shoulders crossed over his broad chest, biceps flexing against the material of his shirt.

Y/N rolled her eyes stepping out of the elevator, ignoring the heat creeping up her face and the stupid flutter on her lower stomach, turning to face him as she said “see you later, Mendes”

“See you, and oh, don’t forget your gym attire, we’re going running at 5:30 sharp tomorrow, bye bye now” he blew her a kiss as he stepped inside and the doors closed before she could add anything.

He was definitely trying to kill her in all the ways possible, she just didn’t know which way would be the fatal blow.

-*-

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*xoxo

-🌙

@mariamuses

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