#I wanted to wait Halloween but fuck it

[angstigone]

WARNINGS: grief, character death, spoilers for the manga, she/her - afab character, au in which reader is a witch, practical magic themed.

«what kind of witch are you if you can't even resuscitate a cat?».

anger stricked the girl's brown eyes as her darker hair fell onto them, to hide the tears of frustration that you knew were brewing; your smile turned lightly as you fretted around the small garden of the cottage to pluck down different herbs, careful not to disrupt the blooming flowers.

«a good and knowledgeable witch» you replied, as you raised - with a slight hiss at the tension in your knees - to face her fully as you discarded the large hat underneath your chin. one of your hands gestured to the neat old table at the center of your private garden where two chair were set.

the girl wasn't the first that had come to her to have something brought back to life, somebody close to her that she had lost and now wanted back even just to make amends.

a cat was the focus of her pleading, although anger had settled in her young features.

you must have looked like that long ago and that's how you knew what to answer.

«I think you are just... a charlatan! here's what you are!» the girl refused your attempt at being pacified, throwing her arms in the air angrily and you couldn't help but feel pity for her.

if she was this desperate for a cat, you thought her life must be miserable without it in it anymore.

still, you knew better.

«to prove to you that I am not a charlatan I shall explain why I can't bring back your adorable crambon» you sat down on the chair comfortably adjusting the house clothes you were around the garden and putting off your gloves with a moan of relief as there was not anything that you hated more than the lack of contact «... when beings die... they... death changes them».

the act of passage from the land of the living to the one of the dead was always traumatic enough to change the essence of the beings; it was aimed, at the same time, to give them peace and retribution and to be ripped away from it...

«... if I were to change your cat back, it'd come back...» deformed, hurting and horrible «... different. not the crambon you knew. not the one that'd be purring in your lap».

the cat would be cruel and an haunting presence, because death laid her mark onto everything: onto everything that life had previously touched.

«you are... you must be... that's a lie!» she knew deep down that you weren't but you guessed that denial was the sole thing that remained to her and you didn't wish to ruin it for her «... I... you are just... you are just bluffing because you don't know how to do it!».

«maybe» you smirked sadly at the girl, raising up as you steadied yourself onto the chair and felt the slight limp that accompanied your tiredness whenever you'd spend too much time chastising young acolyte «... but any other witch - a witch that's rightful of that name - will tell you the same».

the girl looked about to shout something back and instead tears fell from her pretty eyes, a sight that broke your heart and albeit she had been cruel with you and you doubted that this would have given her any relief, you came slowly near her, gently tucking the hair that framed her frowny face behind her ears.

«... still, if you are so stubbornly wishing for a chance to see your cat again, I shall tell you how to do so. it won't bring him back but it'll give you some peace».

you were ready to be insulted and rejected again, still the girl surprised you as she swallowed her loud sobs and after a moment, her eyes shone with curiosity and attention.

she'd have made for a good apprentince, you thought, all too bad you were out business.

«you see... there are times in which the ...veil between the living and the dead... it ... becomes thinner and some...».

---

the plates laid one in front of the other in the mark that had been left by the dust as you finished adjusting the flowers at the center, lightly flicking your finger to change the color of the carnations: this color didn't bloom in this season but they had been the first one that he had gifted to you.

memories were important for ghosts and for you, as well.

"I wonder how that girl is doing?" technically the veil was thinner in the previous days, but your own guest was a tardy one, albeit in life he had always been quite punctual. still, the girl hadn't returned to your house begging for more magic lessons so you guessed she might have had her peace.

you, still, sought out your own.

and you found it in the utter dark that befell the room the moment that the sole candle in the room was smushed out of its light. coldness seeped through your thick sweater and thighs, but you felt comforted as a figure - thin and bright - appeared among the black room.

«have you been waiting for long, my love».

«no» you replied gently as came close to him «... how was the trip over here?».

«each year it becomes far more complex» he breathed out once you were one in front of the other «... and I was held back because well... it's funny... there was this cat».

you almost laughed at the irony: of course there had to be a cat.

«a cat, uhm?» you prodded him lightly as one of your hand shot out to his own to the sides with the familiarity that had characterized happier times «... you should tell me all of it at dinner, don't you think?».

and yet, as your hand went to reach and make contact with his own, it held nothing but air.

as your eyes met his own again you found yourself startled at the knowledge.

«I can't touch you» and yet, the veil shouldn't have been that thin... unless it was... «... you are... you are moving on. you are passing onto».

he smiled sadly right back to her, albeit his eyes held the same sadness that was taking over her chest.

«... I know... I am...» he had known. he must have known and yet not told you «... I am sorry».

for passing or for having given you false hope?

and yet, you couldn't berate him: he must have wanted to spare you the heartbreak. again.

«I wish... I truly wish I could stay and I...».

«it's alright» you spoke gently «... I am... I am doing alright. I... power and denji are safe and makima is defeated and I...».

«... and I'll still worry» of course, he had been a worrier. you smiled as you gently enveloped his airy hand. although the sensation lacked, you tried to remember how it had felt to hold his hand. to kiss him.

to be his.

you'd forget it and that's what hurt the most; grief might have let you go, but you'd still miss him. even whe you forgot how everything about him tasted, sounded and felt.

you could have brought him back but he wouldn't be the same.

you guessed it must have been the price you pay for loving somebody.

«I know» you said softly as you felt the coldness of lips press against your forehead for a bare moment «... but I'll... it'll take me time, without your visits but I'll... I'll be happy again».

there'll be happiness after you, because there was happiness before you.

«good» he spoke similarly choked «... I... I want you to be happy although this selfish bastard part of me hopes you shall never fall in love again».

«I don't think I ever will» you admitted a bit choked up yourself «... how many great love can one get? I don't think I'd like to be that greedy».

he smiled sadly, as his shoulders had relaxed at hearing you define him as his «great love».

«just...» you wished as you already felt his matter dissolving right in front of your eyes «... watch over me, alright?!».

«always».

in the darkness, nobody could see your tears, but him.

and that's why you still smiled through the pain.

[heartorbit]

i want to know everything that makes you happy! 💫🪐🎇

[lunalikestowriteanddraw]

*Jericho does…whatever the fuck THAT was during the bathroom scene in episode 4*

Me, genuinely horrified: what. The. Actual. FUCK.

[lovecolibri]

Am I a loser for fearing that this will be like BT 1.0 in that it is dragged out and remains stale and chemistry-less and harmful to Buck's character (for being with a not good person and not caring about said person's bad deeds) and the twist will be that it doesn't end 😭 Don't hate me for being negative...I was not negative until today, seeing that gremlin in the promotions and Tim showing favoritism to anti-Buddies yet again on FB.

And it's so funny that all my concern stems from social media activity and nothing about what I'm seeing on the show itself. Because the show has shown he is a non-entity - giving him and Buck no development, HIM no development, no evolution, no appeal, since last season. Yet maybe the writing and producing IS just that bad now.

Sorry to be a bit of a pessimist. I just feel like the vibe shifted dramatically over the past day and I'm in my feelings, I guess.

First of all, you're not a loser! There is a long history of TV shows NOT following through on things for fans of a popular fandom ship, including this one, back ins season 4, leading to that godawful BT 1.0 mess in the first place!

There is a lot of reasons this gets compared to the OG BT, because the show seems to be giving them no development and he's so clearly WRONG for Buck and seems to enjoy talking down to him and watching him deflate a little each time, and also it makes Buck look kinda shitty for dating someone who purposefully hurt, and delighted in hurting people Buck loves. I have said multiple times I wasn't ever worried about tay kay as a LI in s4 because she called him "needy" in that nasty voice on the heels of the audience seeing how absolutely shit his parents were and where all those issues came from, so I was sure that was the narrative telling us she wasn't going to work out. Only to get slapped in the face with an entire fucking season of Buck looking miserable with her, which was never addressed, him trying to talk about their issues and the firefam lecturing HIM about HIS failings instead of ever being allowed to talk about how they felt about her given their past (you can't tell me back in s4 Athena would EVER willingly let that woman in her and Bobby's home, much less feed her), and then watch her nearly get Chim and Hen killed and STILL get a fucking "amicable" breakup of the "oh no one was really to blame, it just didn't work out" variety. So like. Yeah, sometimes the writing is just That Bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

What I will say about all of that though, is we now have information we didn't back in s4. Information like, we weren't seeing things and there WAS a set up planned, and discussed with Oliver (at least, likely Ryan too since the shooting was Like That and what the fuck other bi realization was Buck gonna have, or gay realization was Eddie gonna have after his breakup with Ana was Like That), but the network forced the changes. Tim fucked off to go smash other dolls together (and lost his mind a little bit over on LS, probably because he leveraged that shit into getting to do whatever he wanted, plus the whole RL effect), and the story got changed and, as Tim pointed out, it made the show markedly worse. I'm not putting all my faith and trust in a network, but I will say ABC knows what kind of accolades, awards, and hype this kind of story will bring them and that is something I DO trust.

8x01 might be fluke like the handful of watchable episodes in s5-6, but it truly felt like the Buck we know and love was back, the focus was on the core four and on the emergencies, there was *heart* in the emergency, we got dispatch properly involved, and even the Athena stuff took a turn for a more rescue-focused adventure than the Con-Air prison transport plane mishap I was expecting. The bees sounded ridiculous and like they could be one emergency, like freeway shark my beloved, or *maybe* hold a whole episode, but I was NOT expecting much for a disaster opening and was fully prepared for s5 levels of zoo animals promotion vs actual 3 episodes of creeper being creepy cop storyline. But they actually...kinda pulled it off?? It's no tsunami or earthquake by a LONG shot, and I'm still reserving judgment until the arc is over (I enjoyed the cruise ship disaster but it needed more core four on sight helping with rescues which make it drag a little being so separate from everything else), but it felt like a season 2 or 3 episode at heart!

All this to say, *EYE*, notorious salt gremlin and hater (because trying for low expectations is what works for me!), am feeling more hopeful about the show as a whole than I have in awhile. And I'm going to hold your hand so gently when I give this advice, you can take it or not (for some people, needing to know everything is what works for them, so you do you!), but do not listen to that middle-aged white man and what he does on facebook. Or anywhere. Do not listen to that man! He is a shit-stirrer, and he is a liar! They all are in interviews! Him and Oliver both said "hardly any time skip" and then they did the exact same 3 month time skip they have ALWAYS done between the spring season ending and the fall premier! He lies! He interacts with shit he probably doesn't even read, just promotes his show! He does not care about upsetting us because people shouting over each other about the show just reads to him, and the people above him to let him do things, as the show having enough impact to be talked about! I personally have good feelings because he likes to get his way and ABC gave him something in 4 episodes he'd been trying to do since s4. And they originally green-lit it being another character so it feels like there were plans for both and timing just got switched.

DO NOT LET THAT MAN STEAL YOUR JOY!

I'm not going to tell you that of course it's all going to work out and be perfect and everything we wanted, but I WILL say, we all saw how fucking miserable Oliver was in s5 and 6, how checked out and disengaged he was (he was SO CLOSE and they TOOK IT from him! Fuck FOX forever!), and we saw how he was/is in interviews with or about that man, vs how happy and excited he was/is when talking about Ryan/Eddie/Buddie right now, how much he's engaging and sharing, and WHAT he is sharing. We saw the shift from filming episodes 5-6 to the back half of s7 for both him and Ryan. It's very loud, and while some kinda similar vibes have come through before, we have knowledge now we didn't before about why we kept getting those vibes and then having them pulled back. We know WHO was standing in the way and it wasn't Tim and it sure as fuck wasn't Oliver or Ryan, and that doesn't appear to be an issue anymore. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hope my rambling incoherence was helpful, Nonnie!

[nexus-nebulae]

every day i wish that Rats SMP was a cartoon bc it would make the greatest show ever i think

[altruistic-meme]

happy halloween it's time to get sillaayyyyy

[silvers-not-home]

boyfriend appreciation post bc people should start making more of these

@tigerdottty i love you so so so much!! >3<

[coridallasmultipass]

The devil Dirk on your shoulder.

Silly quick cosplay before Halloween night is over, inspired by a Dirk comic I saw earlier this month. (X)

[faggling]

it might snow and hail today

[sealrock]

speak no evil // see no evil // hear no evil

[heartstopper-lover123]

it's September 1st

Autumn is officially here, omfg!

[etdraconis]

( ok look, i know i was already on my dragon age shit but now i'm REALLY on my dragon age shit ahhhhhhh )

[sk3l3t0n444]

yk the depression is hitting hard when you dont even have the energy to watching you favorite movies :(

[foxmulderautism]

looking myself in the mirror like am I really about to completely reshuffle the lover boy timeline just so i can get the single release of i want your sex in there and write beau’s live reaction

[izzy-b-hands]

On a random fic related side note, just saw I'm at nearly 80 fics written for our flag, and can only think to myself

'wow bud, you had like. over 100 for the Pacific probably even faster than this. You've really lost steam, huh?'

and like. Brain. could we just enjoy the number go up, even if number go up SLOWLY