#I wanted to figure out a character that starts out deeply flawed and slowly develops into the Daisy we all know and love

[pianokantzart]

Concept for Movie Verse Princess Daisy & Sarasaland

Sarasaland is highly isolated from all other worlds. It takes the fastest air ship roughly a week to get from The Mushroom Kingdom to Sarasaland without the assistance of a sky road or a warp pipe.

Sarasaland used to have hundreds warp pipes that lead to earth, but all of them are broken, and most haven’t been functional in thousands of years. As a result, Sarasaland is equipped with some bare-bones understanding of humans & human history.

There are wastelands filled with broken/useless pipes all throughout the deserts of the Birabuto Kingdom. Nobody knows where they came from or where they used to lead.

Sarasaland’s residents resemble those of Bowser’s domain in both looks and personality. Weirdly enough, the most friendly citizens are the goombas, who live as shy and timid tradesmen. Everyone else is either a dangerous beast or a ferocious warrior who fights first and asks questions later.

Daisy is a little unhinged, due in part to the being isolated from the rest of the world and surrounded by constant fighting. She is a whirlwind of impulse, untampered emotion, and extreme competitiveness.

But at the end of the day she loves her people for all their belligerent chaos, and her people love her back. She does not appear like a good ruler from the outset, but when the chips are down she’ll do anything for Sarasaland.

Daisy was adopted and raised King Totometsu, a giant firebreathing sphynx. He was killed fending off mysterious alien invaders shortly before Bowser’s rise to power, leaving Daisy as the heir to the throne of Sarasaland.

Daisy and Peach used to be close friends when they were children. Daisy was the one who first informed Peach what humans were, and let her know there were others like her out there.

Daisy and Peach’s friendship fell apart when Daisy signed a truce with Bowser, despite Sarasaland being one of the few powers who could stand up to him. 

When Daisy first sees Luigi, she becomes infatuated. Not only is he one of the first humans she’s ever met, but he’s so nervous? and soft? and sweet? and gentle? She’s never met anything like him in all her life! Heart eyes. SHE’S DOWN BAD.

She does not know what to do with these feelings. She keeps switching back and forth between showering Luigi with affection and bullying him.

She keeps trying to impress both Luigi and Princess Peach by proving how much stronger she is than Mario. Daisy does not understand why this keeps having the opposite of its intended effect.

Peach, reading the room, encourages Daisy to instead take Luigi aside and give him a few tips on how to fight. Daisy proves to be a surprisingly effective teacher, if not a little overbearing.

She hyperfixates the moment Luigi starts telling her about human sports. She wants to know everything. She wants to play all of the sports.

Super Mario Strikers is essentially Sarasaland’s grimdark, cuthroat, no holds barred interpretation of soccer.

[noctiselusio]

Park Junmo and his unstable self–image:

In The Worst Of Evil, we’re not told much about Junmo’s past (not really shown much of any character’s history really) as the story mainly focuses on the noir and crime aspect of the show. But we’re shown enough to be able to connect some clues and understand some of the reasonings and psychology behind our main character’s actions.

Junmo’s father was a drug addict, and his mom left when he was young. Obviously, this would have a detrimental impact on his mental health—which we see slowly spiraling out of control throughout the show. (Never mind the fact that the series mostly focuses on the ethics of it, Junmo is a cop who goes on an undercover mission and he has to fight hard to not lose his morals to all that he sees, all that he experiences, all that he does. And as compelling as that was, for this short rambling of mine I want to focus more on something else.)

And yes Junmo’s faltering morality is also a symptom of this disconnect he has with his own person. Junmo is confused and has no idea as to who he really is. His mother left early on and his father evidently was not a good one, we can imagine he had no interest in properly raising his son alone. I suppose the resulting trauma posed a significant hindrance to Junmo’s upbringing and development. Without an adult’s guidance, he was unable to properly develop a personality of his own. You need (healthy) interactions with others to shape your sense of self.

While I don’t mean to diagnose, or misuse psychology, or project on his character (forgive me if I’m doing any of those but also can you blame me, this deeply flawed character is so beautiful to dissect and read and attempt to read between the lines, behind the footage) there were some parts that made the light above my head switch on.

We learn that Junmo became a cop mainly thanks to his mentor: Seo Do Hyung.

He’s the reason Junmo didn’t stray off the path and became a cop. He gave him a purpose, a reason to keep going, an identity to chase after, and a sense of belonging. Do Hyung presents all of this to him, and Junmo holds on to it for deal life.

He gets married to a cop —born into a family of cops�� and that’s kind of where it starts going bad again (including the wedding scene). Junmo starts feeling like… an impostor. Unlike his wife, his family is broken, he‘s unable to get a promotion, this all is an open wound that Euijung’s family keeps gnawing and scratching at until it scabs over and falls off. It’s sad, it’s tragic, but I don’t think that marriage had any hope of lasting.

Comes Jung Gichul—Junmo finds a new… place to belong, a brotherhood, maybe…maybe…maybe… a home?

It’s not that way at first, but the bridge effect is very real and Junmo has more than one close–death experience with Gichul next to him. And the more time he spends with him, the more humanity and vulnerability he sees from his boss, the more he hesitates.

And now, Park Junmo has a new name, a new identity. Which I don’t know if it was intentional or not: giving Junmo a new name and an impostor role—to convey his unstable sense of self.

Once again, Junmo is stuck, and he can’t —no matter how much he tries— figure out what he actually wants to do, where his heart lies. Who is he? What does Park Junmo want? How does Park Junmo feel? Who should Park Junmo betray? Should he act as Kwon Seungho or as Park Junmo?

But this doubt, this doubt hurts too. Because why should he be faltering? He’d spent so much time and effort to get here, sacrificed so much, and his wife is part of this too, he didn’t go through so much suffering just to fail his mission in the end. (He went through all that for Gichul.)

Do Hyung’s sacrifice settles it, Junmo is forced to make the final choice and bring the gang to justice.

But Gichul… Kwon Seungho couldn’t do that to him. Not until Gichul had really forced Park Junmo’s hand.

(Forgive me if there’s any mistakes or if this seems incoherent, this is my own interpretation and it’s been on my mind for a while and of course I had the urge to finally write it before a deadline. So these are my jumbled thoughts that I had to let go into the world)

[starlightandetherealshadows]

what would zero's reaction be if mc still loving him romantically, had developed feelings for someone else? would he be ok with mc dating someone other than him?

Ooooo this is a very interesting question. I’m gonna think about the answer as I type :) therefore this is going to be long and a stream of consciousness that may or may not make sense.

So I think at first the thought of that would make Zero feel very anxious and insecure. But then he’d also feel incredibly guilty, because he has two partners (V and MC), what right does he have to be jealous? how selfish would it be for him to want everything to stay how it is? And of course Zero isn’t “enough” for MC, who could blame them for wanting something more, something better?

The whole emotional turmoil would be quite agonizing for him. There’s also the factor of MC being the one exception to Zero’s usual monogamy. The dynamic between Z, MC, and V is unique to the former and latter. They don’t put much thought into labeling themselves, but without MC in the picture, Z would say he’s firmly monogamous.

In short, Zero’s initial thoughts would be very human. Flawed but genuine. And he tries so hard not to feel those negative emotions like jealousy or insecurity because he’s terrified of his lovers and friends leaving him.

It would devastate him for MC to say that they’ve come to love another person. With MC and Zero, MC is well aware that Z and V have romantic feelings for each other. Z never denies it to MC, though they think it’s unrequited. MC knows the situation (probably better than Z and V do lmaooo) and chooses to romance Zero anyway (and encourage or tolerate the integration of V)

Z would be blindsided by MC loving another person, and when MC says that they still love him, he’d feel a bit like “do you actually love me or am I just a “safe” placeholder in case it doesn’t work out with someone you actually want to be with?”

He’s thinking and overthinking everything. Figuring out what he doesn’t have, what he did wrong, how he doesn’t measure up, if every time MC left the house, they were slowly falling in love with another person.

Then of course he’d agonize over both MC and V deciding that they like someone more than him, and abandoning him. Whoops I slipped and fell into angst.

because the MC/V/Zero poly is the only one available so far, MC doesn’t state whether they are monogamous or polyamorous in the IF.

But in another timeline, if MC told Zero at the start of the romance arc that they were polyamorous, I think Z would be more receptive and less heartbroken than if MC didn’t make that clear/know that about themselves until recently.

Zero doesn’t blame MC for how they feel. If anything, there’s a part of him that’s been waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’s been too happy, too loved. There had to be a catch. He just didn’t know what it was going to be.

Okay so after this long winded answer of me talking to myself and doing some Z character analysis, I would say that Zero would try very hard to be okay with it, to the point where he suppresses his pain and fear in an unhealthy way.

In the long term, I think he would ask for a break in the relationship between him and MC before it becomes unhealthy beyond repair. Zero still cares deeply for and loves MC; he doesn’t want to have their friendship tainted by a failed relationship. So he’d want to put the relationship on pause so he can work through his feelings and give MC a chance to explore their new connection.

Depending on how that goes, I’d say there’s a 70% chance of the relationship ending (but both Zero and Mc are on good terms) and a 30% chance of them getting back together and Zero being okay with MC having other partners.

Why I typed a novel to answer this is beyond me but here we go!

[musemilitia]

@redriotkiri || reply to { xx }

lmao honestly same tho, I thought izuku was boring at first, it wasn't until I realized how unhinged HE is that I started to come around 😂 he's not quite up there in my top faves but that's partly bc of a specific person in the fandom ruining him for me with the way they treated me and a couple friends, not the character himself. tbh tho I usually gravitate toward the characters like bakugou or endeavor who are DEEPLY flawed but slowly learn to be better and to

treat people better and actually have a heart of gold even tho they can be cold or aggressive. I mean, I was DEEP into dragonball z and I'm still deep into dragonball super and vegeta has been my #1 fave for FOREVER. bakugou and enji don't even compare to his level of badness when he was first introduced into the series lmao I just love seeing growth and development and unfortunately, a character that STARTS as being the goodest boy can't really develop past that unless

they start to go the other direction and slip into darkness. I don't approve of a lot of the things a lot of my faves have done, but I appreciate how deep and well written the characters are and I think that's the thing a lot of people don't think about when they're like trying to figure out why people like villain characters or why they like abusive characters or former bullies like bakugou

also sorry for writing you so many essays today lmao

Like if there’s one thing about MHA that some people need to realize it’s that the series as a whole is very shades of gray with most characters not being all good or all bad. In fact, I’d say the only character that is truly evil is AFO. But All Might -- even if he was the ‘symbol of peace’ wasn’t actually all good. 

I never got into dragonball until like the last 10 years (and I haven’t gotten around to watching Super). But you bringing it up reminded me of an interview that I saw Horikoshi had done back in 2015 where he says in it: “Bakugou is horrible, but thought it would be more interesting that way” and he goes on to state that he “wants him (Bakugou) to be like Vegeta from Dragon Ball but doesn’t know how it’ll play out”

And like given that the interview happened in 2015 so it was early on in MHA’s life span and Katsuki’s character development since then. Where Horikoshi means that he “wanted Bakugou to be like Vegeta”. Like yeah ... Vegeta did a lot more horrible shit compared to Katsuki, but you can definitely see what Hori was going for seeing that comparison.

And it’s all good xDD

[keyofjetwolf]

Oh boo-hoo, darkness, get over yourself, or, Rei Hino: Comfort Lesbian

We’ve been building to this for the past several episodes now, this moment where we finally get confirmation of all the turmoil Ami is feeling, about Usagi and about Naru and, especially, about herself. All of which is delicious and complex and everything I wanted but could hardly believe they’d give us. It’s not a good look for Ami! It’s angry and lonely and uncertain!

Ami especially, I think moreso than any other character across Sailor Moon iterations (character who actually gets screen/page time, anyway) is boiled until she’s lost most of her flavour. I think the anime tries hardest, but often replaces “the smart one” stereotypes for “the nice one” and calls it a day. For whatever reason, it’s like Ami’s an action figure they’re afraid to take out of the box because they might get her dirty and diminish her value.

Not PGSM, though. PGSM is just “AW YEAH LET’S PLAY” and pitched everyone in a mud puddle.

I AM ALIVE

I’ve talked about this again and again, how much SENSE this makes for Ami. Completely ostracized for her entire life, she’s got her first taste of what it means to not be alone, and she’s hooked. Usagi is like a drug for Ami, she’s the entire focal point for everything positive Ami’s feeling, and she’s terrified that without Usagi, she’ll go back to the way things used to be, and she CAN’T, she just can’t.

And she needn’t be! PGSM has gone out of its way throughout the series so far in showing us how much Ami has already grown and changed for the better. Fuck, look at just this scene! There’s something wonderful and precious about the bond between Ami and Rei. They’re each other’s first friend that they made THEMSELVES, using the things that they learned through their friendship with Usagi. Ami has reached out to Rei more than once, able to see through her stoicism and bluster and navigate through it (versus, say, Usagi just flat out ignoring it). She allows Rei to keep those defenses while still reaching for her, making Rei that much more willing to reach back.

Rei also sees Ami. She’s never been smitten a day in her life, and Rei isn’t inclined to throw every little questionable thing into the spin cycle until it comes out gleaming and perfect. Ami’s weird and awkward, but so what? She’s a good person, and she tries. Every single time Rei would rather deal with someone who tries too hard rather than not enough.

They can do this. AMI can do this. She HAS. Even in this scene, where she’s confessing to Rei, it’s abundantly clear how much stock she puts in Rei’s opinion. Particularly BECAUSE it’s Rei (really, it had to be Rei), who wouldn’t even know where to start trying to give someone an insincere platitude, Ami trusts what she says, and at no point in any of this, even at her lowest and most intense self-hating, does Ami think Rei isn’t her friend. The problem is that Ami has pinned so much on Usagi, and so little on herself. Usagi is the keystone; pull her out, and it all collapses.

Again, all of my love to PGSM for going here. For looking at Ami, really thinking about how broken her life would have made her, and being willing to follow that thread. She confirmed -- directly, in the text, by her own words -- everything I hoped we were building to.

INCLUDING THIS SORRY BRB HAVE TO RUN AROUND THE OFFICE SCREAMING AGAIN

There’s so much going on, Ami is having a fuck of a day, but this is perhaps the thing she’s most upset about: the realization that she might just be kind of a shitty person. There’s been nothing in Ami’s life that would have even hinted she could be like this. Hell, there’s basically BEEN nothing in Ami’s life before now. But here it is, she finally gets something worthwhile, and this is how she acts? No wonder she went without friends this long, if this is who she is. Usagi was just wonderful enough to try and see past it, that’s all, which only makes Ami feel even worse for “deceiving her”. God, what a beautiful inescapable spiral Ami’s built for herself, I’m almost impressed.

REI HINO IS NOT IMPRESSED

HHHHRNRNNNRRNGGGHHHGNNNNGHHHRR

SHE’S SO NOT HERE FOR ANY OF AMI’S BULLSHIT. Not the deep dark confession, not Ami eating herself up over it all. Ami’s barely started, and Rei’s already had enough.

Sidebar to say how much I fucking LOVE how they shoot all this. Rei’s angry stomp slicing across the camera, interrupting Ami’s efforts to drown herself in all this. Her angry clenched fist (A REI HINO FAVOURITE), the way the camera rises as it follow’s Rei’s towering presence. She carries so much authority in this scene, you can FEEL her and how little she is going to put up with all this. The way Ami gazes up at her, too, once again giving Rei all the power between them. It remains to be seen how much of this will stick, but what’s clear is that Ami will listen to Rei, and believe her, even if just for this moment.

The way Rei completely brushes all of Ami’s angst away though, AAAAAHHHHH I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD LOVE HER MORE BUT SHE ALWAYS MANAGES TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE ME. Ami’s completely undone by this, and Rei’s just “Psshh, whatever, this is entry level ‘dark’, get over yourself.”

But she also makes it an invitation. “Congrats! You’re human.” Ami’s sin here, if she could be said to have one, is in not dealing with it all very well, and she’s basically an emotional newborn, so even there, it’s understandable.

One of the best things about this, though, is how Rei is meeting Ami on much the same level Ami connected with Rei. Not ignoring how they feel, nor dismissing it, just accepting it and moving forward. We STILL don’t know why Rei was so bothered about going to that guy’s house to protect his not-the-ginzuishou, but Ami didn’t chase down the why or convince Rei it wasn’t a problem, she simply offered to go in her stead. Here, Rei doesn’t insist Ami is the purest pure snowflake gumdrop who would never think a bad thought in her life, she just says “Bitch, you ain’t special.” Usagi’s all-inclusive love is wonderful, and I don’t doubt the power of its constant dopamine hit, but it’s also in so many ways unrealistic and impractical (much like Usagi herself), and once again, I tip my hat to PGSM for being the ONLY Sailor Moon incarnation willing to go there for its main character, too.

(I don’t know if PGSM had a mission statement, but you could tell me it was “Each and every one of these girls is fascinating and wonderful AND DEEPLY FLAWED” and I would just nod in emphatic agreement.)

What about Rei’s darkness? I don’t know! THANK YOU FOR ADDING IN A BARELY RELATED MYSTERY. The specifics aren’t important right now, and maybe never will be. It’s Rei, she’s a constant bubbling cauldron of stewing rage, even here in PGSM where she’s able to keep it to a low simmer. It could be about her mother’s death, all the gossipy assholes, her father’s everything. It could be Usagi bumping into her this morning, IT COULD BE ALL OF THESE.

The point is, Rei knows all about thinking and feeling some negative shit at someone, but she also knows there’s a difference between what you feel and what you DO. You can’t truly be part of life and never fuck up, it’s just not possible.

AND NOW HERE’S WHERE REI SHOWS HOW MUCH SHE’S CHANGING TOO. Her point made, her lecture done, Rei peers down at Ami and sees that it’s just not working the way she wants. Rather than lose her temper, or double down, or wash her hands and walk away, she instead CHANGES TACTICS.

She doesn’t demand Ami immediately bounce to her feet, instead she drops down to Ami. She stops lecturing and tries comforting. NONE of this is natural for Rei, all of it goes against the kind of person she is and always strives to be. Slowly but surely though, Rei’s learning that her way is not the only way, and to temper her impulses.

WHO KNEW WE WOULD GET SUCH JUICY DEVELOPMENT FOR REI IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS AMI GOODNESS WHO AMONG US COULD HAVE PREPARED FOR THE BOUNTY

Still though, Rei is Rei is my beautiful ridiculous marmoset Rei.

Blessed, friends. I am blessed this day.

[gayseyjones]

UM. I'm not that familiar with your interests other than deltarune so for the ask game I'll say Susie!

My overall opinion on the character: SUSIE. MY GIRL. THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER IN YHE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. she is so full of love and issues and joy and AAAAAGSHSGHSGSHS [biting sticks]

One virtue they have: she loves her friends. so much. She just has so much love in her heart all the time it makes me want to sob. she cares about her friends so so much the way she carries lancer when he isn't well and cheers kris up so easily after spamton neo and awkwardly shuffles her way through talking with noelle like oh my god. she's so happy she has friends. AGH

One flaw they have: on the flip side of that she DOES struggle with getting her emotions across, she doesn't like being particularly vulnerable, she has all this love in her heart but she can't just SAY that so she shows it in her own ways and then she unabashedly does it with her whole entire chest I love her. I'd pay for her therapy

Favorite moment from their arc: Oh man where to begin. the lancer fight of course is just sooooooo. "I don't wanna kill you man" WHAT IF I KILLED US ALLLLL and the ferris wheel scene with noelle was so sweet and silly and cute and gentle I aagahsgshsvjsdksjd starts snapping things in half.

Least favorite moment from their arc: I... do not have one. her arc has been pretty well written and coherent so far thank you toby fox

One relationship they have with another character: KRIS. RKIS. KRIS. HELLO ITS ME KRISUSIE FAN NUMBER 1 OHHHHH MY GOD THEY FUCKING GET EACHOTHER THEYRE BOTH THE OUTCASTS THEY BOTH ACT OUT FOR ATTENTION THEY BOTH HAVE THE SAME MORBID TEEN HUMOR SUSIE IS EVERYTHING KRIS WANTS TO BE AND KRIS IS EVERYTHING SUSIE WANTS TO BE. THEY FIT TOGETHER LIKE TWO PIECES OF A PUZZLE THEY'RE INSEPERABLE

One relationship I'd like to see explored from this character: loooots of people have said it before but more susie & toriel AND also susie & undyne. troubled youth and kind/batshit insane mentor figure... esp bc undyne is so close to susie, in terms of aggressively loving their friends

What I would have liked to see happen with them in the media: well we only have 2 chapters out obviously so I'm just gonna turn this into the theory section. I REALLY deeply truly believe in the "susie is the true protagonist and kris only seems like it/is forced to be it because of our involvement" theory. like. the way both of the darkworlds so far have deeply related to susie AND her love interest, only the secret bosses have related to kris, the way susies slowly learning and developing magic and all kinds of other things in the darkworlds, how she feels like the heart of the party, even just shots where she's at the center of it all and not kris. There's so much more oh my god but I haven't thought about deltarune like this in months so. Wah

[ginkgomoon]

Shaw's Birth Chart- An Astrological Study

Late second birthday gift to Shaw. I haven't done any heavy analyses/studies in a while but I felt happy that I also completed some good solid Shaw content! Please enjoy. *Cries because it's finally done and before June is over.*

What is Astrology?

Astrology is the study of stars- the placements and movements of different celestial bodies to correlate what’s happening on Earth. It comes from the early Latin word astrologia.

There’s a rule that we live by-

As above so below

This means whatever happens within our solar system will ultimately affect us here on Earth. For example, the moon governs our emotions, and since our body is approximately 70% water, why wouldn’t the moon affect us too? But it’s not just us, it's the moon’s gravitational pull on the oceans, in the same sense, it’s also the moodiness you may feel during full moons!

There’s many aspects to Astrology, and that would normally be too much for a single post so I’ll be elaborating on the major contributions to one’s birth chart. This will include the planets and the signs.

There’s the inner planets, consisting of the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars and Venus, moving quickly within the chart. Then there’s the outer planets, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus and Pluto, the slower moving planets. And of course, the different signs of the zodiac with different personalities. They follow the order beginning with Aries, then Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and finally Pisces.

Shaw's Placements

Sun ☉ The Sun represents our character, personal identity and ego. Your star sign is also known as your Sun sign. It is the “you”. The “Self”. It shows your creative force, confidence, focus and our will to live. It’s the driving force of our charts in many ways, like how it is centred in our solar system. It’s the part of us that is the “adult”, censoring the “inner child”, and overall provides information on our vitality, and what we came to do.

Shaw's Sun is in Gemini ♊︎ The air sign of Gemini is famous for their self-expression and communication. Geminis are witty, clever and flexible people. They can easily gain social contacts just as they can easily adapt in various situations and communicate through intellectual conversations. Geminis love to collect and share all sorts of information and are rather seen to be “geniuses”.

Although, they can be easily bored if they’re not getting enough mental stimulation. Geminis with their abilities to detach themselves make them excellent observers, but this can make them very difficult to be close to and be intimate with. People note them to be confusing and hard to understand, but this is because their mind is always active and switching from one topic to another (as they are represented by “the Twins”). Geminis enjoy seeing the “lighter” side of life, making them more fun and pleasing to be around. It’s guaranteed that there is never a dull moment when you’re with a Gemini!

Shaw holds a good representation as a Gemini. He always has a witty remark to say to MC, has a way with words, is shown by how he reacts to “fight or flight” situations, and stresses the usage of his favourite word, “bored”. Shaw, by having this placement of the Sun in Gemini also gives much strength to his Mercury (the planet of communication) which is also in Gemini (more on this later).

Shaw: “What do people usually do during dates?”

MC: “Uh, it’s usually eating, shopping and watching movies.”

Shaw: “That’s too boring, isn’t it? Since it’s a date with you, I’d like to get your feedback. What would you like to do?”

MC: “Nothing else.”

Shaw: “Then, what do you want to do?”

He thought for a couple of seconds and raised his eyebrows slowly, with a hint of glimmer of dark light in his eyes.

“You'll agree to anything that I do…?” -One Day Date

MC: “Why did you suddenly take an interest in reading?”

Shaw: “For the final exam.”

Despite his concentration, he flipped the pages with incredible speed- it seemed as if he didn't like what he read. -Summer Night Birthday Date

Shaw values all forms of communication and self-expression, whether it would be through music, writing, and teaching others about ancient relics. Additionally, it appears that he enjoys a range of hobbies, such as playing the bass, skateboarding and spray-painting, due to his interest in the wide variety of passions he developed. MC notices this on one of her earliest dates with him.

MC: “Hey, you seem to have a wide range of hobbies.” -One Day Date

Moon ☾ The Moon in our charts shows what your home is like, your upbringing, the relationship between your mother, the unconscious, your instincts and what you need. It tells us a lot about a person’s emotions, how they deal with it and how they express it to others.

Shaw's Moon is in Capricorn ♑︎ Productivity, work, and feeling useful and respected are the basic need for Lunar Caps. They like to keep their emotions in check, as they want to maintain being the cool-headed, practical and steady person of any group and in any project. Moon in Capricorn suggests that they have clear boundaries and realistic kinds of goals, looking for reassurance and security in what they do. They value and respect tradition and all things tangible and real. Moon Caps look forward to working towards their distant future goals, planning one step at a time. When feeling moody, their emotions will emphasise the pressure they had already put on themselves. Additionally, this is why letting their guard down to be comforted and to be reminded that they are not alone is very beneficial. Capricorns are unwilling to stand down, especially when it comes to emotionally “letting go”, hiding their sensitivity under a sarcastic manner. Wherever Capricorn is found in the chart, there is a desire for control, structure, and organisation. Emotions are well dealt with and handled in an efficient and practical manner.

There is a certain mysteriousness and sadness behind Shaw that can be subtly detected and yet to further explore deeply. This might have come from past trauma, possibly related to family relations. He has realistic expectations and justifications for his emotions, and when it comes to his goals, he will utilise these to help him slowly achieve them. Shaw is slowly letting his guard around MC, and gradually allowing him to love.

MC: “How can you draw so well?” I murmured quietly, envying his skills which require much talent.

Shaw: “Is it good? In a few months, it will fade into obscure and worthless trash."

He glanced at the wall with an undisguised contempt, as if it was not his own work that he was judging.

“It’s a failure.” He shook a spray can and started spraying it on the wall.

MC: “Wait! Why are you doing this?”

Shaw did not avert his eyes, and stood with his arms folded, refusing to give in.

Shaw: “But it's flawed now.” -One-Day Date

After a few seconds of silence, he frowned and put everything in his arms back on the table except for a can of coke. “Don’t act like you know me so well.” -Exciting Moments Date

Perhaps it was because I didn't believe that Shaw would appear so calm or so still, or because I wanted to explore why he looked so focused, I also looked at him in silence.

Shaw: “You really like to immerse yourself in your past.”

MC: “Find strength through the memories, then grow and become stronger.” I suddenly recalled a line from a TV series, and read it out.

A flicker of doubt flashed through his eyes, and eventually condensed into a dismissive look.

Shaw: “Who told you that we can only become stronger with memories?”

MC: “Why are you so dismissive?”

Speaking of which, what made Shaw so strong if it’s not finding strength from his “memory” or “past”?

Shaw: Why are you telling me this? Reminiscing every day means you’re getting old.”

-

Rain started to shower from the gloomy sky. I looked up, and found that the dark clouds were only above this small area of filming location. It was actually very sunny over at the antique market.

Fortunately, the rain was not heavy, and was even getting lighter as he predicted. He pulled at his hair, shaking off the scattering beads of rain. Such serenity did not match my impression of him, yet it was unexpectedly harmonious and natural.

MC: “Are you the rain god? Why does it always rain when I'm out with you?”

Shaw: “It’s because I can control the weather.”

At this point, the rain, which had stopped just a short while, suddenly fell again, but more densely. The smirk on his face was not gone yet. The rain seemed to be getting heavier. I felt more saddened as he spoke, yet Shaw just laughed. -Seeking Date

As a Capricorn Moon, his value and respect for tradition, and in all things tangible is very much obvious, and is highlighted with his display of knowledge about historic relics in Loveland’s museum shown in various dates, being the only student in the Department of Archeology of in Loveland University, as well in this scene from Season 2 that I couldn’t bear to leave out.

Mercury ☿ Mercury is the communication planet. When you write, speak, absorb information and how rational we are, you’re using your Mercury. It refines our Sun sign and helps define how we take in and give out information. It also talks about short distance travelling, governing your thirst for knowledge, your wit and negotiating skills. If someone is an excellent talker, it’s thanks to their Mercury placements.

Shaw's Mercury in Gemini ♊︎ Since Mercury is already ruled by Gemini, which makes it a favourable placement for quick-witted communication. Gemini Mercury placements may come across as being scattered and restless, but this is because of their different interests, seemingly knowing a little bit about everything. They easily gain knowledge where all sorts of facts and figures are up their alley, however generally have too many interests to deeply delve all into one. They can thrive in a stimulating environment as they are fast adapters who effortlessly learn and multitask at lightning speed.

This overlaps with Shaw’s Gemini Sun Placement. He may confuse MC sometimes with his personality and wit, but it’s nice to see MC adapt to it as well, because they have a lot to learn and grow from each other. He encourages MC to live life more boldly, while she teaches him to take things slower and be more aware of how his emotions and thoughts should work in harmony under special circumstances.

“He has no problem with the noise from rehearsals, and yet he can't stop criticising me for being noisy. He gets easily bored by things and yet he never gets tired on aimless strolls. Moreover, he always disagrees with me…” -Exciting Moment Date

MC: “Are you doing something illegal?”

Shaw: “What do you think?” Shaw looked at me playfully, and I could not help taking a step back vigilantly.

MC: “I'm a good law-abiding citizen and I won't be your accomplice!”

Shaw: “That's not up to you.”

-

MC: “Oh no! What should we do, what if we get caught!”

Shaw: “Nothing. Having a date at the police station should be a good experience.” -One-Day Date

Additionally, those reoccurring moments when he says that he had changed his mind also stems from the “twinning” aspect of Gemini in his thought process.

Shaw: “Give the cake and forks to me.”

MC: “Didn’t you say you didn’t want it?”

Shaw: “I changed my mind.” -Exciting Moments Date

Venus ♀︎ The planet Venus is ultimately the planet of love, beauty, wealth, our material things and what we do with all that sort of jazz. It’s the pleasures, our sentiments, what we do for leisure and what we value. Grace, charm, creativity, and entertainment are ruled by Venus. We can use this planet to see how we approach relationships of the heart, investigate our ability to attract and the attraction to others (or things).

Shaw's Venus is in Cancer ♋︎ These kinds of people are quite sensitive and insecure when it comes to love, with egos perhaps said to be a little bit undeveloped but have so much love, comfort, security, and care to offer. These aspects are emphasised for Cancers, who pay more attention to your feelings rather than said words. All they want is a safe, solid and secure relationship. They can be moody when it comes to love, though they are not afraid of emotional confrontations and to put their emotions on display when feeling it’s safe.

But once they are hurt, they will have a hard time forgiving. Pleasing them will involve a lot of sentimentality, as recognising their influences and attachments are from the family and home. When fearful of being rejected, they can resort to some frustrating tactics to find out how loved they are. Venus Cancers will want to be cared for, and in return their partner will be rewarded with a loving, dependable and patient lover.

Shaw puts up a front with his teasing and seemingly lack of interest to attend events with MC, though we can tell that he’s a very thoughtful and intuitive lover. Once he has allowed himself to internally address his feelings, he will use straightforward methods in how he communicates it to MC, again, strengthened by his Gemini placements. Additionally, Cancers will cling onto something or someone that is of value to them, because it evokes memories and emotions. In the same sense, if there is someone that Shaw has his eye on, he will inch closer to them, and will be unwilling to give them up once he has them.

I tried to reach out and pull him down while watching out for him, but he just took me by surprise and grabbed my hand instead. I quickly pressed down my skirt with the other hand. Probably realising something, his amber eyes widened slightly, then let go of me, with a low “tsk”. -Seeking Date

Shaw: “Why can’t you let that go?”

MC: Because I'm sick of you treating me like this. One time, you waited for me to get to the Live House to tell me that there was a change in venue, and there was also this one time when you- achoo!”

I pulled my jacket tighter around myself. Suddenly there was a rustle above my head and I found myself covered in a warm coat. Shaw stood up without a word as if he didn't hear me. Clad in a white shirt, he looked at once familiar and strange from behind.

Then I noticed his hand in the pocket. I was expecting him to conjure something for me like he did last time with the Dragonfly Eye. Before I could react, Shaw suddenly grabbed me by hand. With no gloves on, he tightly wrapped his slender fingers around my palm. I felt an unexpectedly soft and warm sensation.

MC: “Let go of me!”

Shaw: “No, I don’t want to.”

-

Shaw: “You've been asking questions about me all day. Do you really want to get to know me? Bring your ear closer. I can tell you all about myself.”

-Exciting Moments Date

His hand flew past my face and landed on the back of my head. With a slight jerk, he pulled me toward him. Our foreheads were then pressed together, and I felt the warmth of his forehead resting on mine, my breath on my skin, his unintentional touch, and his body pressed against mine. -Summer Night Birthday Date

“Do you like me? Yes or no?” -Unanswered Phone Call

Mars ♂︎ Mars is the go-getter planet. Full of fire and passion, nothing would be done without it. It can give insights on how we can chase our goals and what our desires and our plans of attack are. Aggressive behaviour, lust and anger fall under this planet.

Shaw's Mars is in Libra ♎︎ Mars Libras often reflect about the things they do before they act, needing to weigh out all the decisions first. They also can get easily caught up in defending themselves and others, as well as charming others to win others’ favour if needed. They wish to not be disturbed in their life or how they “operate”, going about with the desire to balance everything, with almost having a seemingly passive-aggressive approach to situations. Mars Libras know when to compromise and manage conflict, as well as predicting problems and discord well in advance. Libras will question themselves on how they can make the playing field more fair, intervening when necessary and when things aren’t. Shaw demonstrates this during his bus stop intervention when he first meets MC, on his dates with her, as well as his confrontation with Gavin.

“Don’t hesitate if you have already thought it through.”

-

MC: “What’s the matter?”

Shaw shrugged, lifted the corner of his lip, and looked at me, saying this firmly word by word.

Shaw: “Don’t forget that this is our punishment. Be a good loser.” -One-Day Date

“What are you laughing at? Stop it.” he reached out his hand, trying to mess up my hair. I quickly dodged backward and started laughing harder.

“Hey.”

A stunned look flashed Shaw’s eyes. Before he finished his sentence, I slipped and fell heavily backwards. He looked at me before a hint of schadenfreude appeared in his eyes. Then he said in a raised tone, “that's what you get for laughing too hard.”

He then sat down with me. I turned to him in confusion.

MC: “Why did you sit down when you’re supposed to help me up?”

Shaw: “Because I wanted to.” -Exciting Moments Date

Brutal gales whipped up gravel and rocked trees. A bolt of lightning split the sly, illuminating the two people locked in a standoff.

Gavin’s face was completely devoid of its former calm, and in its place was wrath. The man opposite Gavin squinted his eyes ever so slightly. He went wild with laughter, and an arrogant expression swept back over his face.

Shaw: “Well, we’re finally starting to get serious. It’s about time.”

Gavin: “I warned you! She’s off-limits.”

Shaw: “Are you threatening me?”

Gavin: “You aren’t worthy.”

The man lifted his eyebrow and slowed his speech purposefully.

Shaw: “Anyway, my objective has been reached. I don’t mind toying with you. But I don't know how long this girl you’re obsessed with has long to live...”

The two fought with increasing ferocity. The man was slowly losing ground. Then, the sky roared, and a white flame connected heaven and earth. The man was gone without a trace. -Chapter 11-24

Jupiter ♃ Jupiter is the largest planet, a gas giant, known to expand as the “benefactor” of our solar system. Everything it touches is basically blessed. It’s the good luck, confidence, joy, freedom and adventure that it gives to one’s being that it’s so well known for. Jupiter is where you seize your opportunities, take a leap of faith and count your blessings.

Shaw’s Jupiter is in Aquarius ♒︎ Shaw attracts the most good fortune when he’s tolerant and fair, cooperative and inventive, being different from society’s norms and standards. He values technology, people and personal freedom the most, desiring to display his unique skills and talents. He is open to new methods and eccentric ways to progress. We see this as he’s willing to share his knowledge with others, shown in the CN Creative Date and Summer Solstice Date, and when Shaw offers a hand to help MC by making her alias “Mary Sue” to help her successfully break into STF in later chapters. He also shows her the electricity firework he makes with his Evol, which fascinates MC enough for her to reach out and touch it.

I looked at Shaw's on the other side of the wall. The flaunting design was imposing, as if it was about to jump out at me the next second. Then I looked at my grinning rabbit, which seemed to be the clumsy work of a child.

-

In the gold and purple pattern, “SHAW” could be faintly recognised while a grinning rabbit stood at the top of the world. They actually seemed… quite in harmony? -One-Day Date

MC: “Is that the same MP4 player you had on the bus?”

Shaw: “Yes, someone gifted it to me a long time ago.” Emboldened by his straightforwardness, I couldn't help but move slower. -Exciting Moments Date

Floating on his palm was a sizzling firework giving off dazzling sparks. I was stunned by the sight. I couldn’t believe that Evol could do that. I reached out to touch it, but Shaw stopped me.

“Are you out of your mind? It’s charged with electricity.” -Summer Night Birthday Date

Saturn ♄ Saturn is the planet of karma, restrictions, life lessons, hard facts and the challenges in life. It governs structure, our fears, work and self-discipline. Saturn is cold and calculating, however once the challenges and lessons Saturn have been mastered, great wisdom with great rewards can be obtained.

Shaw's Saturn is in Aries ♈︎ Aries Saturns are highly resourceful coming up with fresh ideas for our goals. They don’t like showing weakness and need to be careful when limiting themselves due to fear of failure or making a poor decision. They’re very self- reliant because they rarely ask for help. They need to be shown that not “being first” is okay.

It’s proven that Shaw has a competitive side to him, seen in the CN Summer Solstice Date and his Rumours and Secrets, where Shaw refuses to give up and ends up doing dolphin flips on his skateboard in a match against a senior and wins after his first loss. In Accompanying Date, he acknowledges his embarrassing moments when he got caught skipping class, then reflects on them. We also see this as he flees his battle with Gavin when he almost loses.

Shaw: "I just remember winning. Don’t people at ten years old want to get swept away, win against everyone, and leave them far behind?" -CN Summer Solstice Date

Shaw: "The fence of the school was disagreed with by the elementary students. Back then, my skills weren’t refined yet. I got discovered by a teacher when I fell from it." While reminiscing, Shaw pouts unhappily. -CN Accompanying Date

The two fought with increasing ferocity. The man was slowly losing ground. Then, the sky roared, and a white flame connected heaven and earth. The man was gone without a trace. -Chapter 11-24

Uranus ♅ Wherever Uranus is in the chart, it’s where we want to break free, where we want to do things our own way, when you don’t care what everyone else is doing or thinking about. It’s where we express our ideals on freedom, innovation and experience great epiphanies. We strive for independence with the influence of the Uranus character. As a result, we learn to rebel, break traditions and authority. It shakes things up from our past and into the modern future. It is often associated with unpredictability, chaos and anarchy.

Shaw's Uranus is in Aquarius ♒︎ These people are interested in innovating, changing and updating traditions related to technology, community and individuality. They see freedom through or in these areas, and are ready to rebel if needed. Aquarius Uranus people are open to new ideas and free thought.

Shaw is no stranger to the concept of rebellion. He sneaks into places he shouldn’t be in, spray-paints graffiti, and helps MC access top-secret information in STF. His comments on history further outlines the unique outlook that he challenges with traditional views.

I looked around nervously, remembering that last time, we were chased by city police for street graffiti.

Shaw: “Don’t you want to come? Hurry up.”

MC: “Do you just do anything you like? Do you abide by no rules?” -One-Day Date

Shaw: “What do you think history is?” Student: Those historical relics you told us about just then!”

- Student: “If everything is history, how does one learn it?” Shaw: “There’s no need for an intention. It’s everywhere.” -CN Summer Solstice Date

Neptune ♆ Neptune is the inspirational planet of dreams, inspirations, soulmates, enlightenment and sacrifice. It’s all about connection with the universe and the world around you, however can have the polar effect of deception and illusion, along with disappearances of sorts. It can also govern your music tastes and influence on how you can inspire others.

Shaw’s Neptune is in Capricorn ♑︎ With this placement, his idealistic world will be based around realism, morality, and responsibility. He has to believe in the ground foundations of realisability of his dreams- enough so that it usually has a realistic thread about them. General optimism and faith will be lacking if he’s not doing something that he is passionate about and finds inspiration in. However, he has the capacity to change his practical dreams into reality the most. His influences and contributions come from his connection with Dark/MC, again with Mars in Libra, and is seen as a guide and spectator, though less passive than a Time Observer. It’s also clear that Shaw cares a lot for his music and his band. He even recognises a plagiarised song in one of his Rumours and Secrets.

“Playing with the band is just a hobby, so Shaw rarely creates something from scratch. He must have hidden things he wanted to say in his music, but never mentioned it to anyone.” -Summer Night birthday Date

Shaw: "No wonder these people didn’t realise it, they copied an unpopular song from the 80s. You should also improve your musical literacy so you wouldn’t be confused by these things." -CN Glacier Navigation Rumours and Secrets

My phone started buzzing in my outer coat pocket. I took it out and saw an unfamiliar number. A few moments of hesitation, I answered it. An unfamiliar voice came from the other end.

“Long time, no see. I’m sure you’re trying to guess who I am right now.” There was something in his voice that gave me a sense of déjà vu.

MC: “May I ask, what this is about?”

“I can’t just call you for no reason? Everyone has already forgotten you. You are officially someone who shouldn’t exist in this world.

MC: “Impossible! Just who are you, anyway?”

“Go see for yourself. For instance, at the place where it all started.” -Chapter 19-1

Outside the floor to ceiling window, a tall man with light purple hair was looking at me in the eye, an unmistakable smile on his lips. Who is this person? He waved at me and strove in the diner.

“Oh, here you are.” He greeted me with such familiarity, a few loose strands of hair fell over his forehead, softening his sharp eyes. His actions were swift and sure, giving me no time to interrupt. His face seemed so familiar but I can’t remember where I’ve seen it before.

MC: “Who are you?”

Hearing this, the young man’s brow raised, and the look of amusement flashed over his eyes.

“You don’t remember? You bumped my skateboard.”

MC: “Oh! We met on the bus. But how is it that you remember me?”

He didn’t answer me straight away. He just observed my expression with great interest, seemingly enjoying watching my reaction.

“I’m the one who called you. It’s me. The dream world has no effect on me.”

Pluto ♇ Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, and is not to be messed around with. It’s responsible for great destructible transformations and corresponds to the life, death and rebirth cycle. It’s the detoxing planet, for you to awaken and be reborn. It shows us where we can change the world, alongside right where we can go into the abyss of the cunning and controlling energies of Pluto. Its powers can be ever so subtle, however it can have the forces to trash you with the realisations of what you need to let go in order to transform. Think of it as the “healing crisis” moments that you can thank Pluto for.

Shaw's Pluto is in Sagittarius ♐︎ They take beliefs and philosophy of life very seriously, more than most. They believe deeply in personal freedom and expression, questioning ideologies in place. They often watch for a tendency to move from one project to another, perhaps due to inhuman expectations. They are motivated and driven by the vision of a better world, therefore their faith in humanity is strong.

Shaw helps MC multiple times when she is in need, additionally supporting her beliefs and vision to save the world and everyone in it, like when she first entered the Winter World and helped her rescue the kidnapped children against her battle with Leto in the Chapter 34. He even gives her his necklace- the Dragonfly Eye in the end of Season 1 and wishes her well once they meet again.

Shaw: “Oh yeah, the other you is really funny. Today, she saved someone on the street. Did you use to do stuff like that too?”

Dark MC: “I’m not like her. I don’t do meaningless things like that. Stick to the plan.”

Shaw: “Oh? I’d thought you’d like this scene. What are you planning to do, anyway?”

Dark MC: “Why of course, I’m going to accept my place as QUEEN.” -Behind the Curtain Chapter 5

MC: “Shaw, what are you doing here? Where’s Leto?”

Another thunder flashes, Shaw’s face was reflected clearly and I saw him lift his eyebrow slightly.

Shaw: “You are so slow. Did you bring the notebook? Keep it and give it to me later.”

MC: “You haven’t answered why you are here.”

Shaw: “And I thought you were starting to get smarter. None of us can stay out of it now. If I don’t intervene, this world is finished.”

I would love to see more about Shaw’s background character and his upbringing as to why he had appeared a bit defensive in some dates. Poor Shaw :( Hopefully this study allowed you all to gain a deeper understanding of Shaw and his character, and to why he’s important in the main storyline and other events alike.

[firelxdykatara]

not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)

oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just

i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)

first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.

i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.

(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)

i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”

i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)

there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.

shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.

and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.

it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.

they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess

another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).

meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.

and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.

uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.

[makeste]

obstacles do not block the path

they are the path.

or something. it’s a zen proverb. anyway, so this is yet another post about Bakugou potentially losing his quirk. I’m gonna try to articulate it a little better this time. rather than just explaining why I think it’s likely to happen, I tried to explain why I think this specific and as-yet-still-hypothetical character decision is a very deliberate and purposeful one. in other words, this isn’t my argument for why it will happen; this is a post about why it should happen.

to start, there are two Horikoshi interviews which I want to quote here, and the reason I’m quoting them is because they do a good job of summing up the dual nature of the hero model that BnHA is built on. I’ll start with the longer quote, which is Horikoshi’s answer to the question, “so Sensei, what heroes do you like?”

[It would] probably have to be Goku and Spider-Man. To me, when mentioning heroes, these two are the ones that I think of. In Goku’s case, it’s the reassurance that everything is going to be fine which he brings when arriving. Such as, on Namek, Goku was getting healed, and his friends were all beaten badly. When Goku finally recovered and walked out of the healing machine, that reassurance right there is what I’m talking about. Something like “Ah, everything is going to be fine”. When I first read it and saw it was really Goku who had arrived, I continued reading thinking the thought “gonna win”. (laughs) That reassurance is something that all of the other characters don’t have. I thought about it afterwards, and even though there are a variety of heroes, the hero model that is built up in my mind is built around the concept that the hero is somebody that brings reassurance. That’s why I think a hero to me is somebody that helps and brings reassurance to others.

In Spider-Man’s case, the first experience I had with this character was the movie, in which there were a lot of scenes with him rescuing people, which I felt that was really cool. The moment he “saves somebody” is really awesome. Well, in Goku’s case, it’s because he likes fighting that he fights, so that’s a bit different. (laughs) You can say that Spider-Man and Goku are two different aspects of being a hero.

I’m sure you all can figure out just who Goku and Spider-Man each represent in respect to our beloved series.

as for the second Horikoshi quote, this one is much shorter. just a single line, actually, in regards to the development of Bakugou’s character:

I also thought to have [Bakugou] and Deku improve on two separate vectors as they entered U.A.

that’s it. just a single sentence lol. except that this one sentence can basically be used to sum up the entirety of Bakugou’s character development throughout the series, and it also serves as a roadmap as to what I think might happen next.

let’s start with the very first line in the series.

this sets the stage for everything that happens next. it establishes who these characters are right from the get-go. we see the hierarchy of quirk society, and we see two children born on polar opposites of the spectrum. Izuku, who was born quirkless, who exists at the bottom of the food chain. and Katsuki, born with a powerful quirk and the natural talent to back it up, who sits comfortably at the very top of the pyramid. two children who, from a very young age, are set up to walk completely different paths in life.

and yet the curious thing is, their goals are the same.

they both want to be like All Might. interestingly, though, they look up to him for different reasons. each boy admires All Might for what they see of themselves in him. Izuku sees a hero who protects others and works to save them no matter what. and Katsuki sees a champion who never gives up and who always emerges victorious.

and what the story eventually goes on to explain is that these are two halves of the same hero. Spider-Man, who rescues people and brings them hope. and Goku, who always wins no matter what, and by doing so brings reassurance to others. these two aspects together make up the perfect, consummate hero which both Izuku and Katsuki aspire to be. and the story is about how they get there.

but it’s that how that’s really where things begin to get interesting. because as previously mentioned, Katsuki and Izuku each start out their respective journeys in very different places. their origins, their “starting lines” as the series sometimes puts it, are polar opposites of one another, and yet they both are heading for the same goal. they want the same thing, but to get there, they each have to journey from a different place.

and what that means is that right from the start, it was impossible for Izuku and Katsuki’s journeys to be the same. more than that, they’re not just different journeys, they’re the opposite journeys. if you start from two opposing ends of a path facing towards the same goal, the only way for you to reach that goal is by traveling in the exact opposite direction as the other person. as an illustration of this, please accept this visual aid which I drew with love:

eh. eh.

so let’s continue to retrace each of their paths as the story progresses. we’ll start with Izuku first. his story begins when he receives One for All, a quirk that allows him to compete with other would-be heroes on equal ground for the first time. by this point he has already learned inner strength and compassion and selflessness. he already cares deeply about others. and so his trajectory now veers towards him learning what it means to be a champion. learning the things that Katsuki already knows.

and Izuku makes a lot of mistakes when he first starts out. he is too selfless. he rushes in to save others without sparing any thought for himself, resulting in repeated instances of him getting in over his head and getting injured and taking himself out of the fight. he almost gets himself expelled for this on the very first day of hero school, and Aizawa’s very first order of business is to chew him out over how irresponsible he is.

we see Izuku struggle to learn how to inspire others and be a leader, traits which happen to come to Katsuki naturally. Katsuki instinctively smiles when he’s up against a wall. he inspires others without even trying -- inspires them even in spite of his abrasive personality. but these are things which don’t come naturally to Izuku. Izuku is more inclined to follow than lead, because he doesn’t feel compelled to put himself in the spotlight, and because he is cooperative and will defer to others who are more aggressive about putting themselves in the leader role. Izuku doesn’t do the whole hero grin thing naturally, either; this is something he has to be coached on and consciously think about, and his early efforts are a bit hit-or-miss.

Izuku is more focused on saving people, and sometimes misses the fact that in order to do so, sometimes the best course of action is to just straight up beat the shit out of the bad guy(s). he learns this over the course of the series, and we see him doing the never-give-up thing against Muscular, and Overhaul, and Gentle. and Izuku’s selfless nature almost causes him to give up OFA to Mirio because he sees him as being more worthy; Mirio has to talk him out of it in order to stop him. in short, Izuku’s arc is all about him gradually learning confidence and becoming a badass.

now contrast this against Katsuki’s arc, which has the opposite trajectory. Katsuki starts out as someone who is already strong and confident. he is hard-working and driven and dedicated to his own self-improvement. he’s a prodigy when it comes to battle, and his determination to succeed inspires others to challenge and push themselves in order to keep up with him. 

he is a natural leader, and a terrible follower. and he completely overlooks the “saving people” aspect of being a hero in favor of the “kicking ass” part.

so now here’s the interesting thing. Izuku’s growth comes from achieving new things and gaining new abilities and skills. his growth comes from experiencing victory and success. but Katsuki’s growth takes the exact opposite path. as someone who has experienced success his entire life, Katsuki’s first steps toward progress only come once he starts experiencing failure for the very first time. it might seem counterintuitive, but his breakthroughs only come after he experiences setbacks. because just like Izuku needed to experience victory in order to grow, Katsuki needed to experience loss. just as Izuku needed to grow stronger, Katsuki needed to learn what it was like to experience weakness. without that understanding, his growth would have stagnated.

so from a certain perspective, the story’s treatment of Katsuki vs Izuku might not seem fair. Izuku constantly receives help while Katsuki only faces hindrances. Izuku’s strength only ever seems to increase, while Katsuki is repeatedly confronted by his own limitations. he’s attacked by villains. he’s kidnapped. he blames himself for his hero’s downfall. etc. etc. etc.

but the reason why Horikoshi keeps putting him through all these situations is because in order to have someone grow as a character, you need to have them slowly overcome their flaws. and it just so happens that Izuku and Katsuki’s flaws are the exact opposites of each other’s. and so when you think about it, it only makes sense that in order for them to develop, they’re going to need to take opposite routes. “what they lack” is completely different. and thus “what they need to gain” will also be completely different. this is something which has been very plainly laid out from the earliest chapters of the series...

...and which has been hammered into our heads over and over again ever since.

anyway! enough of my long-winded rambling. you get the point! Katsuki and Izuku have the same goal but are approaching it from opposite sides. just as they are mirrors of each other, so are their arcs mirrors of each other’s arcs. they balance each other out.

but now I’m going to add on a bit more to that, though, so just hear me out. yes, it’s very good and wonderful that they can do this. their strengths complement each other’s flaws; their weaknesses offset. the two of them can and will one day be unstoppable together, and all of that is cool and great and epic.

but it’s also limiting to think of the two of them solely in these kinds of terms; as half-formed individuals who can only be complete and whole when they’re by each other’s side. they are each still their own person as well! and in order for them to achieve this same kind of balance within themselves, they can’t just simply meet in the middle and be done with it. both of them need to continue to walk down their respective paths and experience each other’s side, not just their own. here, let me just break it down:

Deku: starts out quirkless -> learns humility and compassion and how to put others before himself -> gets a quirk -> learns how to be strong and win and inspire courage in others -> becomes a hero that both wins and saves.

Kacchan: starts out with a good quirk -> learns how to be strong and win and inspire courage in others -> ??? -> learns humility and compassion and how to put others before himself -> becomes a hero that both saves and wins.

ah. and now we finally get to our actual fucking point lol.

do you see?? they are perfect mirrors of each other, except for one critical juncture. Izuku grew up on Rescue Road, but the entrance to Beating Villains Boulevard was always barricaded off. until one day he finally got a quirk, and so was permitted entry. meanwhile, Katsuki has lived on BV Blvd his entire life, and until very recently he never even knew there was a Rescue Rd. and now that he finally does know, he’s been working very hard to get there, and has made many detours all over Plot Parkway, and has finally reached the point where he’s at least able to see the road that leads where he needs to go. but he still hasn’t gotten there yet. for him it’s still barricaded off in the same way that his road was once barricaded off to Izuku.

and there are other ways for him to gain access to this road. ways which involve far less pain and suffering, tbh! but the problem is, he’s never been the type of boy who has the patience for any of those other roads. he can’t be bothered to take the scenic route there. he’s in a rush. and so he keeps on trying to force his way past the barricade using brute strength and whatever other means he can think of, perhaps even trying to use the toll pass he got back on his own street (stay with me, metaphor; we’re in this till the bitter end now), thinking that if it worked over there, it should work for him here too. but it doesn’t. and the longer he keeps pressing up against this barricade, the more frustrated he becomes.

and meanwhile Izuku has already made himself at home over on Katsuki’s own street. and so that sure is annoying! except it turns out that by watching Izuku very closely, Katsuki can sort of get an idea of how they do things over on Izuku’s old street, just like Izuku once observed Katsuki and admired him as the closest he could get to being on BV Blvd himself. so at least that’s something. and the more Katsuki does observe and imitate him, the more he’s actually able to do a passing impression of a true Rescue Rd native. and maybe eventually he even starts thinking to himself, I don’t really need to go down this stupid road anyway, even though deep down he knows that the only route through to All Might Avenue is through that road. and also though, the other thing is that seeing as he’s only ever lived on his own street, he still thinks, even now, that his street is objectively the better of the two and the more important.

but that’s not how it works. the plain fact of the matter is that in order to get to All Might Ave you need to pass through both roads. if it was just Hero Highway that they were trying to reach? well then sure! that one’s easy. exit’s right over there. but they don’t want plain old Hero Highway. they want All Might Ave. they want to be the best heroes. they want to complete their respective character journeys. and to do that, Kacchan needs to find what he lacks. and to do that, he needs to gain access to this road.

so what I’m trying to say here is that because of who Katsuki is, and because of what his goal is, the surest and most logical way to complete his character arc is by bringing it around full circle as a mirror to Izuku’s. in order to fulfill his goal of becoming the best hero, Katsuki has to lose his quirk. it’s symmetry. it’s yin and yang. it’s equilibrium. in order to move forward he must first go back. in order to win, he has to lose. for him, this is the missing piece.

and just to clarify, because I feel like this needs to be said: this is not about “redemption through suffering”, though. it’s not “oh he deserves it for how he treated Izuku all those years ago.” and it’s not “let’s make the audience feel sorry for poor little Kacchan so that they feel more sympathetic towards him”, either. that’s not it at all! because the thing is, this isn’t about punishment; this is about fulfillment. this isn’t angst for the sake of angst. this is about placing a very deliberately and meticulously crafted obstacle in front of him for the purpose of forcing him to learn how to overcome it.

because he will overcome it. this is Bakugou fucking Katsuki. he is not fragile. he is not delicate or frail. and so for anyone who’s worried this might be a crushing mental blow? I think you just might be underestimating him.

that’s not to say it won’t be grueling for him, mind. losing his quirk would mean coming face to face with the very real possibility of losing his dream too. because society doesn’t believe that people without quirks can be heroes. Katsuki himself never believed that someone without a quirk could be a hero.

but you know who did believe that? because he had to believe it, growing up, because no one else believed in him?

yeah. that’s right.

you see, for Izuku, his own intrinsic worth isn’t inherently tied to his quirk, because growing up he never had a quirk. now contrast that with Katsuki, whose own sense of self-worth is completely wrapped up in his quirk, his strength, his natural talent. Katsuki, who grew up being told how amazing his quirk was, and believing that the hierarchy of the world around him meant that having a good quirk placed him above other who didn’t. and who consequently also grew up with a correspondingly huge fear of failure, because his sense of security and fulfillment is contingent on his being strong. and if that were ever to change, to him that would mean a total loss of everything he is, everything he’s ever known, and everything he is striving to be.

“lol I thought you just said this wouldn’t be the crushing blow for him”, and yeah, lol, fair enough. but this is also exactly why it’s so important for him to finally face this fear head on. because even though it frightens him, even though it would devastate him, I don’t think it would defeat him. rather, I think that once he came to terms with what had happened and accepted it, he would do what he always does. he would rise back up.

because in spite of what he has always feared, he isn’t weak. and so even though losing his quirk would be harrowing, I think that, if done right, it could also be liberating and even empowering. because it’s him facing his fears. it’s an obstacle to overcome for the sake of him realizing that he can overcome it. because him being quirkless is not, in fact, the end of the world.

because his strength isn’t in his quirk -- it’s in his spirit. exactly like the boy he once secretly feared. exactly the same as Izuku.

so yeah. that’s basically it. tl;dr Deku and Kacchan are on opposite vectors and Katsuki’s is becoming particularly hazardous to navigate at the moment, but what at first glance seems to be a potential death blow could in fact be the thing that finally propels him forward towards where he wants to go and who he truly wants to be. and I am here for it. I want my boy to find himself some enlightenment. and then to rise back up again like the badass he is.

[dailysuna]

Baki headcannons time! I'm writing a fic (it's gotten too long btw) and Baki is a key player. I characterized him as aloof to his charges with a hidden soft spot for them, but that's only because I don't think of him very much. If it's alright with you I'd like to dig into your headcannons more since I don't honestly think of Baki often... But!! I need him now! For my fic! Please send me your headcannons! Also no need to shorten your answers, I love reading them.

Yes, of course! We love Baki in this household. To be honest, I cannot quite remember how our headcanons about him started, attraction to him, adoration for Suna, blatant inability to remember exactly what happened in the first arc of Shippuden. What I do know is I researched him a ton on his Narutopedia page (that website is the Bible) and frankly they had basically nothing on him. There is also very little on Suna itself, so, all of the shaping of what we have made Suna to be came from what we did know about the characters that lived there as well as what we came to believe about those characters.

Baki is described as someone extremely loyal to his village, but knows how to set priorities and is willing to go against what the council has said if that means benefiting the village. This is seen after Gaara is kidnapped and he goes to Chiyo and Ebizo (we stan these two in this household) for their help in saving Gaara. I read into this, a lot, because it was pretty much the only personality trait given to us. Baki recognizes the importance of Gaara, and the rest of the council basically agreed it might have been a blessing in disguise for the village because they still did not like Gaara. Why would Baki, someone just as dedicated to the village as the other council members, not believe the same they did? Its basically a known fact Suna shinobi are willing to sacrifice their friends, family, and lovers if it is required for a mission to be successful. They are willing to make sacrifices, so even if Baki cared about Gaara he would be willing to sacrifice him if that meant saving the village. Honestly, he may not even know Gaara that well in a case such as that. Thinking of that, I knew Baki had to be different from the rest of the council, but how?

I had absolutely all the freedom in the world to develop Baki how I wished, which is actually more terrifying than having no freedom, but when I looked at him, all I could think was that he looked perfect. His skin? Flawless. His makeup? On point. His body? Oh man that dude is so muscular and we all know it. Baki is just walking perfection looks wise so I said why not make him an actual angel? Why not make his personality just as good? Of course, this needed to be justified and I found a way to make that true (I will post the backstory I developed for him some other time).

Because he is the epitome of perfect, he would have thought letting their kazekage die for the village was awful, right? Actually no. Baki's flaw in his perfect persona comes from the fact that he would have grown up in Old Suna, so he would possess the same mindset as the old geezers in the council. He wouldn't think sacrifice was bad because he grew up thinking it was necessary. Then there had to be some other reason he thought saving Gaara was the answer, some way he knew the boy was necessary. That decision would have to come from knowing Gaara and what he was capable of, aka being close to him. Baki would need to know Gaara's motivation, Gaara's skills, just Gaara in general to think that he needed to be saved. How else could Baki have known this unless he got close to Gaara? As I have stated previously, I believed Baki would not pursue getting to know him had he not had a specific type of personality and Gaara would never reach out to make them become familiar with one another as we know.

This led me to develop Baki as I have. A village oriented angel man, who cares deeply for those he once lead. Baki had to be the type of person to be kind and open minded for the 3 siblings to even accept him in the first place. Yes, in the chunin exams arc we see him only ever act seriously and only ever look like he could kill someone with a single glance, but that is because they were on a mission. He went serious murder Baki mode because that's just what Suna shinobi do. What we don't see, is much of any interaction between the siblings and Baki. The way I read this was yes, there was no heartwarming interaction or something to make us believe Baki was an angel, but there was also no disrespect or disregard towards Baki. To me this meant they sre on a mission so they all need to be serious, and because it was still Old Suna they would have been more serious anyways, but that Baki and the siblings had a mutual respect for one another anyways so as not to say anything bad towards him (we do see Gaara was kind of awful to his siblings at the same time so he totally would have said something to Baki if he wanted because little emo baby Gaara doesn't respect authority).

To me, this meant Baki and Gaara, and Temari and Kankuro, had to have built up that respect somehow. This is something I will go into more depth later, but for now I shall simply state the following sentences. Gaara was feared by everyone because of Shukaku so it was clear his siblings, the ones less afraid to stand next to him, were the only option for his team. For their sensei, I'm sure many ninja were given the task but quit it not long after because ALL three siblings were being brats (none of them respected authority). After going through numerous other shinobi, Rasa would have turned to Baki, someone he knew was more dedicated to Suna than most and would have given him the task, stressing that this would highly benefit the village. Baki is someone who serves the village, thinks only of the village's benefits, and only goal in life is to be of use for the village. This would have been a task he recognized was highly important and him quitting as others had would only mean he hadn't lived up to his only goal in life, he would have failed Rasa and Sunagakure. In desperate attempts to not let that happen, Baki would make the best of the situation. After dreading his new job for the longest time but still trying his best to connect with the three so it was more bearable, I believe the siblings would have started recognizing he wasn't planning to leave and despite suffering from their punches and kicks was still trying his best to be educational and supportive. I think that, even if they weren't super close or caring towards Baki at that time, each would, at their own pace, begin to recognize that and respect him, meaning they would slowly stop being as bratty as they originally were. This would make Baki relieved and happy because his job wouldn't be as much of a hellhole as before and he would try even harder to be there for the three even if they did nothing in return or acted as though they didn't like it. The siblings lost their mother at a young age and Rasa was too busy or pressed to spend much time with them so they had likely never had the support Baki offered, and if they did it never lasted long, so they likely would have at least been decent towards Baki until all grew and realized that he had become a wonderful role model and shoulder to rest on for them.

Baki's character has so little development and his actions can be read so many ways, but this was what I chose and both D and E grabbed it up like little goblins. Personally, I believe that unless they were a caring and kind person someone would not be willing to get to know Gaara, who was feared by literally everyone, and thus would not believe he was necessary for the success of the village. So basically, we all see Baki as a relatively open and caring guy who eventually learns to love the siblings unconditionally and becomes their parental figure because they have no one else to turn to, for he is the only willing one and their actual parents are dead.

[likeavisionfromgod]

Core Beliefs

I want to talk a little about character design. I'll be honest, my characters usually come to me either fully formed, or as someone in a crowd that I don't really know, but that doesn't mean they don't require exploration, and I think trying to understand your character the way you would understand another person is probably going to be more useful than a list of flaws and strengths and their favorite color.

And this is where core beliefs come in.

What is a core belief?

In cognitive behavioral therapy, the therapist should help you to uncover your core beliefs, which are universal beliefs that you hold about your life, yourself, and the world around you. They're formed in childhood, and may be modified later in adulthood, though usually only with strong self reflection because of how deeply rooted these become. A core belief will reflect across every aspect of a person's life and behavior, so let's take a look at some core beliefs and how they might affect the person.

Belief: I can work it out

Let's start positive. A person whose core belief is "I can work it out" is likely to have grown up in a house where they were allowed to try, fail, try again, fail again, try a third time and finally get it right without people downgrading their opinion of them. They would have been encouraged to keep trying, and feel confident in their ability to find a way to make things work even in the worst of circumstances. They might not necessarily be positive, upbeat people, but they're determined.

You would be able to see this in things like how they cope with breakups and job loss. This person won't get as overwhelmed, they won't fall into as deep a depression, because at their very core, underneath everything else, they believe that with enough time and effort, they'll find a way to keep going.

Belief: I'm worthless/a failure

This is a common one to come across in CBT. People with this belief were probably not raised in as forgiving a household, or were held to high standards that they couldn't quite reach. It's possible the standards were self imposed, but they would have been encouraged to have them and to rate themselves by how well and how quickly they achieved these demanding standards. This can be seen in so-called gifted children who may have been great at meeting standards without trying as a child, and then slowly began to fall behind their expectations. As they stop being the best, their self worth crumbles.

On the other end of the spectrum, people with this belief could have been neglected or abused as children. They may have learned from their parents that they're worthless because that's how their parents treated them.

Adults with this core belief may have good, stable jobs and relationships, but they will not cope well with anything that may upset that. Someone with this core belief may not even think it on the surface, but their fears will revolve around them losing whatever it is they think they need to prove themselves 'worthy', and can fall into depression if it is lost. They may develop anxiety around keeping their worth, and presenting a perfect image to others. They are unlikely to reach out for help because they don't want to be a burden, and they don't want others to realize how worthless they actually are.

When you're writing and trying to understand your characters, try to look at them as a person and figure out, at the bottom of it all, what do they believe about life? How does that shape how they have relationships, how they work, how they cope with difficulties, and what they want to achieve?

[ramblingsrantsreviews]

13 Reasons Why: Season 3 - Character Thoughts

The third season of the controversial Netflix show 13 Reasons Why dropped on August 23rd. Since I am the world’s slowest binge-watcher, I recently finished the season and damn do I have some thoughts and opinions.

This isn’t the first time I’ve talked about this show here. I did a review for the very first season back in 2017 when it first aired. Two years later and here I am again trying to wrap my head around everything that occurred over the 13 episodes.

Since there’s a lot I want to stay and I am still processing the entire season, I figured I’d make a couple of different posts regarding the show. This one is going to be all about the characters and what I thought of them this time around.

So sit back, this might take a while.

Let’s start with our main character, the person of interest, and our hero Clay Jenson. I’ll be honest with you, Clay Jenson was never a favorite of mine.

His biggest flaw to me has been his need to place his crushes on a pedestal. He did it with Hannah, he did it with Skye, and he did it with Ani in this season. You’d think he’d learn his lesson but nope! The boy just keeps on putting unrealistic expectations on his crushes. He projects an imaginative version of his crush onto the real thing and it never turns out well for him. They’re never as pure as he thinks they are. They’re never as good-hearted as he thinks they are. They’re never truly who he thinks they are. And that’s his own damn fault. Yes, Ani shouldn’t have been lying about her friendship with Bryce but at the same time, Clay shouldn’t have thought that she never said two words to him.

Clay has a heart of gold. He will do anything and everything for his friends -- even if it means going down for a murder he didn’t commit. And he feels deeply. As Justin said, “He’s a good person. If he acts out of emotion, it’s because he fucking cares.” 

Clay, by definition, is a nurturer. He takes care of the people he cares about and he sees the best in them even when they don’t. He gave Tyler hope and courage, Justin a second chance on life, and Tony a friend he could rely on. What’s interesting, and not all that surprising is that Clay saw potential for greatness in almost everyone he met except two people -- Bryce Walker and Montgomery De La Cruz. That’s not a coincidence.

Going forward, I’d like to see Clay grow as a person without a romantic interested because the boy has real potential. And I’d really love to see him go to therapy. This is my plea to the writing staff -- GET CLAY A THERAPIST!

- - -

And then we have our new narrator and new character Ani Achola. Oh, Ani you had such big shoes to fill and you didn’t even come close to filling them.

One of the biggest issues I had with Ani’s character is that she came out of nowhere and suddenly she’s BFFs with these kids who barely like each other. I find it so hard to believe that she would be so quickly accepted within the tape squad -- especially when they’re harboring a giant ass secret about a foiled school shooting!

And it’s not only that she accepted, but it’s also the fact that they trust her. Never once does anyone ask Ani to leave when they’re talking to Clay about what really happened after Homecoming. NO ONE! It took Clay an entire season to get people to trust him and here comes Ani worming her way into everyone's business. I just don’t get it.

As if that’s not bad enough, she fucking lives with Bryce! Okay, she lives in Bryce’s guest house but still, she lives on the Walker’s property. You’re telling me the writers want me to believe that this group of teenagers who loath Bryce Walker are suddenly BFFs with a girl who lives on his property? Give me a fucking break.

The nonsense doesn’t even end there. This girl, this dumb new girl who hangs out with a group of people who loath Bryce and who were put through hell because of him decides that she knows him better than they do. That Bryce Walker has changed and suddenly he’s a good person. And then she has the audacity to fucking sleep with him! But she’s fearful of Clay — fucking Clay Jenson would couldn’t hurt a fly even if it landed on his dinner. The amount of hypocrisy that spews from Ani’s mouth is astonishing.

But don’t worry cause by the end Ani has come to her senses and spearheads the entire idea of placing the blame of Bryce’s death on Monty. Are we expected to applaud her a hero? I certainly don’t.

Ani Achola is nothing more than a talented manipulator. It’s no surprise she got along so well with Bryce who also has mastered the art of manipulation. Ani goes around telling everyone that she knows and sees things in people that they don’t see in themselves. She builds them up, learns all their secrets, and then slowly uses those secrets against them.

She did it with Jess — telling her she saw a badass girl inside her, learning she was raped by Bryce, and then fucking sleeping with said rapist. Not to mention she comes up with the ridiculous idea that Jess slept with Bryce to regain her power. COME ON! 

She did it with Clay — befriending him and earning his trust and love, knowing he had feelings for her and stringing him along, using his anger towards Bryce after what he did to Hannah against him to justify him being the murderer.

She manipulated every one of the core characters into trusting her so that they would spill their darkest secrets to them. And she made them believe that they needed to speak up so that they could protect Clay, but really, I think she was trying to figure out who killed her beloved Bryce Walker.

I don’t trust Ani. I hated how things ended with her telling her mother that she was seeing Clay — she didn’t even ask Clay first, she just assumed that he wanted the same thing. I’m skeptical and I will remain skeptical.

Also, if it isn’t clear enough, I don’t think she should have been the narrator of the season. This season could have followed a similar narrator pattern as season 2 did with each character narrating their own interrogation.

- - -

This season tried really hard to give redemption arcs to two irredeemable characters when it wasn’t necessary. The season already had its redemption story -- Tyler Down.

I was really hard on Tyler in the first season because let’s face it, he crossed a lot of boundaries. Lurking around the school and taking candids pictures of students for the yearbook is one thing. It’s an entirely different situation when stalked Hannah and took those pictures of her and Courtney. It was an invasion of privacy and at the time his crimes against Hannah ranked him extremely high on my list of hated characters.

Then, season two happened. Just like all sexual assault victims, Tyler did not deserve to be sexually assaulted. To this day, that is one of the most disturbing and jarring scenes of media I have ever consumed. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it. Tyler was so affected it by it that it lead him to nearly become a school shooter -- thankfully, Clay stopped him.

Season 3 Tyler is the Tyler that the world deserved. We got to see Tyler deal with his trauma and the ups and downs with being a sexual assault survivor. In the end, Tyler becomes a happier and healthier version of himself. Yes, Clay and everyone who kept Tyler’s secret helped but it was really Tyler who did all the heavy lifting. Tyler was the one who had to want to get better and, though it took a while, he realized that he did want to get better.

Tyler went from a misunderstood, bullied teenager who felt so much hatred and fear that he was willing to kill to a happy teenager with a group of friends who truly care about him -- not because they have to but because they want to.

Tyler’s relationships with the other characters are really interesting because you can tell he’s very skeptical of them at first. He knows they’re just being friendly to him to ensure that he doesn’t do anything bad again. He feels like he’s being babysat and yet, he follows them around when he’s scheduled to because he knows they’re helping him. As the season progresses, we see these relationships develop into real friendships.

Tyler’s actions are redeemable not because of his past trauma but because he understood he was in the wrong. He understand he was making a poor choice because of the trauma he was facing. And he wanted to change -- he didn’t want to die. He realized he didn’t want people to hurt the way he hurt.

Not only was he a redeemable character, but his character is so important in the larger discussion of sexual assault and male victims. Tyler didn’t have to tell Clay or Jess or the entire school or anybody that he was a sexual assault victim. But he did and in doing so he allowed the world to see that, yes, men can be sexual assault victims too. When he stood up at the assembly and uttered the words “My name is Tyler Down and I am a survivor” he opened the door for his fellow male classmates, like Justin Foley, to stand up and live their truth. Not only that, but it made the other members of Hands Off realize that Tyler was more than an ally, he was a survivor.

I never thought I’d say this but Tyler is one of my favorite characters now. I hope we get to see him continue to thrive and maybe even help Jess run the Hands Off organization.

- - -

Justin Foley. I don’t know what it is about that boy, but I have loved him since day one -- I think it’s the puppy eyes. Don’t get me wrong, Justin has his flaws. He started the shit storm that leads to Hannah’s suicide by taking that picture of her at the park. And he played a part in the rape of his girlfriend, Jessica Davis by not doing more to stop it.

Now some might say, how could you forgive a character who let their girlfriend get raped? How could Jess forgive the boy who let her get raped? Unlike Bryce, Justin showed remorse instantly -- at least on the inside.

Like Tyler, Justin has a redemption arc, though his arc is still a work in progress. I absolutely loved how ride or die Justin was when it came to Clay. Justin couldn’t stand Clay in the first season and now the two are living together and on the road to being brothers. He was willing to lie to the police about his whereabouts that night to give Clay a solid alibi. He pulled Clay away from the Homecoming fight to protect him from getting hurt. And he was willing to lie to the Jensons, even after all they’ve done for him, to make sure that Clay wouldn’t go to jail.

Justin may have thought he found a brother in Bryce, but he never knew brotherhood until Clay took him in.

My biggest issue with Justin is his constant drug use. I knew the moment he went searching through his bag when Clay left the room that he was still using. How could he not have been? The second season literally ended with us seeing him inject himself with heroin. A person doesn’t just stop heroin - they need professional help to do it. In fact, Justin may be in even more trouble now that he has added prescription drugs to the mix. I’m so glad he spoke up about needing help in the final episode. I sincerely hope we get to see his journey to sobriety in the final season.

Justin standing up at the assembly and telling everyone that he too was a survivor was such an important and impactful scene. Jess’s face says it all, she had no idea. In hindsight, it’s really not a surprise. Justin’s mom was constantly strung out and bringing home men who were not only bad for her but bad for her son. What shocked me more was his admission that he sold himself for sex when he was on the streets and sometimes things went south. That small little line is so important because it points out that sex workers can be survivors of sexual assault to. They can be taken advantage of. Their trust can be broken. And their willingness to sell themselves can be misconstrued as consent for any and all actions.

Also, the fact that Justin told Jess he didn’t come out sooner because he didn’t want to distract Jess from her own journey -- SOBS! I love you Justin Foley -- you incredibly dumb, yet incredibly kind boy.

But please, get him away from drugs and drug dealers. I want to see a happy, healthy, and SOBER Justin Foley next season.

- - -

The queen of survival, the inspiration for change, and the girl who is done with everyone’s bullshit Miss Jessica Davis.

For the past two seasons, we’ve seen Jess as a victim and for the first time, we got to see her as a survivor. Seeing her as student body president fighting for change and spearheading the Hands Off club was the right move for Jess. I liked seeing her come into her own and understand that she is not her past.

I think it’s important that even though Jess is getting better, she still struggles with what has happened to her. We see her in a flashback tell Bryce that even though she’s healing, sometimes she still feels like he’s on top of her. That feeling is never going to go away, but that doesn’t mean it needs to define her.

Though I’m not keen on the idea of showing teenagers having sex so freely, Jess reclaiming her sexuality was an important milestone for her and for survivors everywhere. I found it interesting and not all that shocking that this time around Jess wanted to be the one in control when it came to sex. It was a way for her to feel safe and enjoy herself because she knew she was the one calling the shots. And even though she was in charge, she still made sure Justin was comfortable as well. Consent is key!

Jess has a lot going on this season. As I said, she’s student body president and the president of the Hands Off club. She’s trying to change the school and how sexual assault victims are viewed. She’s harboring secrets like Tyler’s foiled school shooting and her involvement in Bryce’s death. She’s trying to have a relationship with Justin which leads to backlash from the HO group. And, on top of all that, she’s dealing with her feelings surrounding the death of her rapist.

One thing I found really interesting about Jess this season is her feelings towards Bryce’s death. Her reaction is even more interesting and shocking when we find out her involvement in the murder. When the news hits that Bryce’s dead everyone has a reaction. After Justin opens up to Jess about his complex feelings around the death, Jess comforts him and reassures him that Bryce didn’t deserve to die. And yet, we find out that she watched Bryce die! I kind of wish we got a sense of what her true feelings were regarding Bryce’s death.

Jess is on the right track and I hope we get to see her continue to grow as a person. I hope she finds comfort in herself and continues helping others work through their trauma and understand that they are survivors.

- - -

Alex Standall is another character I’ve been a fan of from the very beginning. His near suicide in the finale of the first season crushed me. So it should come as no surprise that I was extremely disappointed in Alex this season.

I found it extremely out of character for Alex to willingly interact with Bryce — whom he’s hated even before Hannah’s tapes were passed to him. One could blame his interactions with Bryce on his need for steroids but that’s a copout. Alex could have found someone else to buy the drugs from. He could have not done the drugs at all and instead worked harder with Zach. There is no excuse for him turning to Bryce for drugs.

What’s even more alarming is his interactions with Bryce didn’t stop there. He hung out with him on other occasions including helping Bryce break into his alleged father’s new home. Now, yes, Alex came to his sentences shortly after this interaction but he should have already known to stay away from Bryce.

It’s clear that Alex was hurting. Jess dumped him yet again for Justin and he felt vulnerable. But his vulnerability doesn’t excuse him going to his ex-girlfriend and best friend’s rapist to purchase drugs.

And then there’s the small fact that Alex Standall is the one who killed Bryce. There’s certainly a lot to unpack when it comes to his involvement with Bryce. The fact of the matter is, Alex didn’t go to the pier with Jess to kill Bryce. He went to support Jess. In fact, he even tried to help Bryce but in those final moments, Bryce sealed his fate by acting out and accusing Jess of setting him up — how I’m not sure.

I’d imagine the final season will explore Alex’s involvement and his feelings about it even more. And I’m sure his complex relationship with Jess will be involved in his journey.

So, is Alex redeemable? Well, that’s a discussion for another day.

- - -

Once again, Zach Dempsey got the short end of the stick — or so we thought.

The season started out with him being isolated from the rest of the tape squad. Though he didn’t sell Tyler out he certainly thought about it. He definitely wasn’t going to waste his time babysitting Tyler who may or may not act again. And yet, he still showed up at every meeting and played a part in covering up who really killed Bryce.

Zach actually had a lot of great moments this season. His relationship with Chloe was interesting and complex. There’s no denying that Zach hated Bryce and yet, he still offered to help Chloe raise Bryce’s child if she wanted to keep it. And he never once tried to pressure Chloe into getting an abortion even though she was carrying a rapists baby. I found myself applauding when Zach went along with whatever Chloe said regarding the pregnancy. If she kept it that was fine. If she wanted an abortion that was fine too. Zach definitely gets a gold star for that one — isn’t sad I have to praise common human decency?

I also enjoyed Zach’s brotherhood moments with both Justin and Alex. Zach needed friends just like everyone else did and I’m glad he found people he could rely on. His relationship with Alex seems esepcially special and I hope they keep their promise to be the kind of friends that tell each other everything.

Zach’s story becomes even more complicated when it comes to the Homecoming game and his altercation with Bryce. Bryce’s reaction to finding out that Chloe is friends (or maybe more) with Zach is alarming since he’s claimed and shown how into Ani he is. If he was so in love with Ani, why did he need to go after Zach like that?

Thanks to Bryce’s irrational anger, Zach lost his entire future that night. In fact, softie Zach was so pissed off he found Bryce and beat the shit out of him with a broken leg nonetheless! I was a bit confused as to how Zach found Bryce though. From what we saw, Jess was the only one who knew where Bryce was going to be after the game. And it’s not like Zach could have followed him there because he had to go to the hospital to get his leg check out. PLOT HOLES!

Honestly, I’m not really sure what to think of Zach. I will say I’m glad he acknowledged that he had no right being on Tyler’s picture wall at Monet’s. And yet, Tyler put him there for a reason.

Frankly, I think Zach needs some therapy too so hopefully he gets some help in season 4 too.

- - - 

I can’t believe the internet is romanticizing Monty and his sexuality when actual angel Tony Padilla exists.

I honestly can’t understand why Monty and Winston are getting all the attention when Tony and Caleb exist — but then again, I do understand. Why would the world idolize an interracial gay couple when two white (or white-passing boys) are hooking up. Tony and Caleb deserve better from the world and from this fandom. They are the true icons.

Tony had a rough go this season. I certainly wasn’t expecting him to have to deal with his family’s deportation but the minute he walked into his home and they weren’t there I knew. What’s a little confusing about this plot, is the fact that his dad owned a legitimate business. The plot definitely felt like more of an afterthought but I do think it was important. It gave the show an opportunity to comment on a very real thing happening in our country and showed how it affects everyone. I’m sad Tony didn’t confide in Clay earlier and that it took Clay’s interrogation and digging for him to tell him. I really hope these characters learn to trust each other next season — they’ve all proved to  be extremely good at keeping secrets.

Tony seemed to be the only character who adamantly did not want Bryce’s help this season. He was hesitant to take the money from Bryce for the Mustang especially after learning that Bryce’s father was the one who sold out his family to ICE. The only reason Tony is seen with Bryce again is because he made a promise to Hannah to see that everyone on the tapes listened to them. I found it just as shocking as Tony did that Bryce never listened to them, even when they were spread around the internet. That says a lot about his character. 

Tony choosing to sit in the car with Bryce and listen with him says a lot about Tony’s character. I think Tony stayed with Bryce because a) he wanted to make sure he listened to all the tapes and b) he wanted to make sure Bryce wouldn’t destroy the tapes. I don’t think it had anything to do with making sure Bryce was going to be okay while listening. Also, Tony telling Bryce that all of Hannah’s tapes are his tapes was a serious mic drop moment.

Tony, like Clay, is so ride or die for his friends. The minute that Hillcrest moron grabbed Jess at the Homecoming game Tony was ready to fight. If it wasn’t for Caleb reminding him that he could go to jail Tony would have been down there throwing punches.

To me, Tony’s biggest flaw is his necessity to be the tough boy. He doesn’t allow himself to be vulnerable or open up to those he cares about. I hope this changes in the final season.

- - -

Bryce Walker was and will always be a rapist.

This season tried really hard to humanize Bryce, to show that he was capable of change but I wasn’t buying it. I don’t think he was ever remorseful for his actions, I think he only showed remorse when things started to affect his own life. I’ll talk more about that in a different post though.

Bryce is nothing more than a massive manipulator and a rapist.

However, I don’t think he deserved to die. Oddly enough, I think his death benefitted him because he no longer had to live with the fact that he would always be the rapist kid. Bryce deserved to live so that he would have to wake up every morning knowing he was a rapist. He deserved to live with the knowledge that he fucks up everything around him. Death was easy for him, living is where he truly would have suffered.

- - -

Montgomery De La Cruz was and will always be a rapist.

Monty was not a good person. He didn’t even attempt to change like Bryce tried to. He was simply a terrible human being. Giving him a troubled home life and having him suffer from internalized homophobia when he was gay does not excuse his behavior.

Monty’s relationship with Winston was a ploy to earn him sympathy and from the looks of it, it worked on some viewers. I’m sorry, thousands of gay individuals have troubled pasts and live with people who don’t accept them but they don’t go sexually assaulting people or beating up those they’ve slept with.

Monty is no better than Bryce; in fact, he might even be worse because he never even acknowledged that what he did was wrong.

If television has taught me anything, it’s never believe someone is dead unless you see a body. Not only did we not see a body, we never saw Monty get into an altercation in the jail. And there are never any hints that he could end his own life. The only source we have that Monty is dead is from some shady drug dealer. It’ll be interesting to the truth next season.

- - - 

Now for the honorable mentions.

Mrs. Walker had a really interesting journey this season. The complexity of her character was astonishing. I liked that she didn’t make excuses for her son and that she understands that he was (and is) a bad person.

The scene with Chloe where Mrs. Walker tells her that Bryce should never be a father was so powerful. Look, Bryce is Mrs. Walker’s only chance at being a grandmother and she’d sacrifice that experience to save her grandchild and daughter-in-law a life of hell like the one she’s been leading.

When it comes to motherly love everyone always talks about how it’s unconditional. Mrs. Walker’s love wasn’t unconditional. In fact, it took her a long time to look at Bryce and not see the monster that she helped create. I did find her speech at his funeral about sometimes seeing him as a 9-year-old boy moving. I empathize with Mrs. Walker because no mother should have to bury her son. And in the same breath, I almost wonder if Mrs. Walker is relieved that she can finally be free now that all three of the abusive men in her life are gone.

I’m interested to see if she’ll make an appearance in the final season. What is her reaction to the news that Monty is the alleged killer?

- - - 

If Mrs. Walker is interesting and complex, Mrs. Baker is a damn badass.

Her speech to the Sheriff about how much trouble they're going through to find Bryce’s murder was amazing. I literally stood up and applauded. Mrs. Baker isn’t taking any shit any longer. And she’s certainly going to take any chance she can to point out the injustices in the justice system

And she isn’t going to let Bryce Walker off the hook for what he did to her daughter and dozens of other girls. Mrs. Baker said it best “I wish you a lifetime of learning what sorry is.”

I really enjoyed the scene between Mrs. Baker and Jess. A part of me felt like Mrs. Baker was talking to Hannah through Jess. I think Mrs. Baker sees what Hannah could have been in Jess. I also enjoyed her scene with Clay. It was almost as if she was telling him to tell the police about her so that they would leave Clay alone. Mrs. Baker couldn’t protect Hannah, but she’ll do anything to protect Hannah’s friends.

- - - 


Finally, I want to talk briefly about Alex’s dad, Deputy Standall. 

There’s no denying that he loves Alex. He would literally do anything for Alex — including jeopardizing his job as a deputy.

In the final episode he tells Alex that when he found him [Alex] after he tried to kill himself, he wished the bullet was in his head. That was a literal and figurative speech. Deputy Standall was admitting that he would take a bullet to protect his son — and he did just that.

Deputy Standall knows the truth. He is a good detective who followed the clues even when the Sheriff was convinced Clay was the murderer. In fact, Deputy Standall even goes off record to ask Ani where his own son was that night. Now, maybe this is a test to see if Ani is telling the truth (since he knows the answer) or maybe it’s a test to see how far she’s willing to go in lying. Either way, Deputy Standall knows the truth.

He knows his son killed or played a part in the murder of Bryce Walker. And yet, he’s willing to risk his career and livelihood, to protect his son from going to prison for the rest of his life.

It will be interesting to see what happens in the final season. Will the truth come out?

- - -

That concludes this long-ass character thoughts post. I do plan on making another post where I talk about what characters are worthy of redemption and why (I’ve teased it a bit here). I also want to make a post about my top 13 scenes from this season. We’ll see how that goes.

For now, let me know what you think of these characters. Do you agree with me? Disagree? Why?

Season 3 of Thirteen Reasons Why is streaming now on Netflix. Due to the shows graphic nature viewer discretion is advised. If you find the material uncomfortable please do not watch or find a trusted family member or friend to watch with you.

If you or someone you know is struggling please reach out for help.

[haveamagicalday]

My 2019 reads

My top ten reads can be found here

4 Stars

All the Bad Apples by Moria Fowley-Doyle

Deena’s family is cursed. Any “rotten apple” in the family is doomed for a a tragic end. When Deena’s sister Mandy goes in search of the cause of the curse, Deena and friends go after her. This book alternates with stories from the past and present dealing with strong feminist themes throughout.

House of Salt and Sorrow by Eria A. Craig

A darker more horror story retelling of the 12 Dancing Princesses. Personally, I felt that connection to the original fairy tale was kinda weak and this could have been pitched as its own fairy tale. It was definitely creepy and kept you on your toes throughout.

Lock Every Door by Riley Sager

Riley Sager is becoming one of my favorite thriller authors but this one was probably my least favorite of his 3 books so far. Don’t get me wrong, it was still really good but while the twist was good, I figured it out fairly early on. I kept waiting for another twist that would blow me away but it never happened. Still, this was fun to read and I still stand by the 4 star rating.

Stepsister by Jennifer Donnelly

After Cinderella leaves with her prince, her stepsisters are left in shame. This story covers the stepsisters lives after happily ever after, and maybe they will get their happily ever after too. This book was sweet and creative. Isabelle, are evil stepsister, was a flawed character but still deeply likable. There was some magic and greek mythology woven in that really made this story stand out for me.

The Rest of the Story by Sarah Dessen

Sarah Dessen does it again in this heartfelt tale of a teenager trying to find her place in the world. Emma Saylor’s mother was an addict and now that she’s gone, Emma only has her stories to remember her by. So where does Emma’s life fit in to these stories and how does the story end?

Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey

A non witch detective is called in to a high school for the magically gifted to solve a gruesome murder. This was a fun and unique read. It plays out like a typical mystery but the added element of a modern day world with mages and a magic boarding school made it it's own thing. I would actually love to read a series in this world as it was well built and intriguing. A big strength of this novel was I actually was interested in the main character's storyline as I was with the mystery. Sometimes with mysteries, the main character is just there to solve the mystery and nothing more. This was not the case for this book.

The Window by Amelia Brunskill

Jess’s twin sister is dead. She fell out their window one tragic night. But what was Anna doing sneaking out of their window? In this thrilling and emotional book, Jess discovers some of her twin’s secrets and sets out to learn what really happened that fateful night.

The Fork, the Witch, and the Worm by Christopher Paolini 

A fun short read that brought me back to my middle school years. Eragon holds a special place in my heart and this was a welcome return to the world. It hints at more in the future and I'm excited to see were this story will continue to go. I will admit though that I preferred the in between chapters with Eragon than the short stories themselves. The Urgal story was probably the best but it seems like Paolini is setting up for another full sized novel in the series and it really had nothing to do with the story at all. Still, it was enjoyable!

The Dark Days Deceit by Alison Goodman

A satisfying ending to the Lady Helen trilogy. There was a twist about the main villain that I honestly would have hated in any other book but it worked so well in this one. I’m going to miss this fun series.

3.5 Stars

Echo North by Joanna Ruth Meyer

Echo North is a retelling of East of the Sun and West of the Moon. This one had its deviations but was more of straight retelling of the fairytale. There are two parts to this book. The first one is about 280 pages and the last part is the last 120 pages. I think I would have preferred if they were an equal length. The first part could have been shorter and the second part could have been longer. There was a lot of interesting content in the second part that I would have loved to explore more. Still, this was a lovely read and a good retelling of the popular fairytale

Here There Are Monsters by Amelinda Berube

Skye is our main character. A high school girl that moved to a new town and just wants to be normal, maybe even date her cute neighbor? What stands in her way is her 13 year old sister Dierdre. Deirdre is weird, she’s creepy and she refuses to grow up. And now she is missing. All in all, I thought this was a worthwhile and exciting read. While I was personally left a tad disappointed in the direction it took, I know there are a lot of others that will absolutely love it. And the strength of the first half and the themes it deals with, is enough for me to recommend it! Read my full review here.

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

Based on Russian mythology and lore. This is a perfect fairy tale to read on a cold winter night. The characters are well developed and the conflict is subtle. It's a slow build up but never felt boring at all.

Two Can Keep a Secret by Karen M. McManus

For the most part, I really enjoyed this book! It was quick paced and kept you guessing. However, while I didn't think the ending was predictable, I did think it was a bit cliched. I was surprised by the twist but but it still felt cheesy. The rest of the book was really solid though. There were plenty of red herrings that kept you guessing and it was an enjoyable read with good characters. I liked that this one only had two main characters as opposed to One of Us Is Lying had the four but if I had to pick one though I would say One of Us Is Lying is the stronger book.

3 Stars

The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale

A retelling of the fairytale of the same name. It was such a sweet story! I thought that Ani/Isi's transformation and growth throughout the story was very well done. The romance was put on the back burner but I didn't mind. It was cute but a little rushed too. It was also very obvious who Geric really was but I don't think it was suppose to be this amazing twist or anything so I didn't mind. I liked the added elements that Hale put into the fairytale. Ani's wind talking ability was a great addition whereas in the fairy tale, she just talks to the wind and it’s never explained why. It stuck to the fairy tale very closely and I really enjoyed reading it.

Imaginary Girls by Nova Ren Suma

Chloe lives with her older sister Ruby, the girl everybody wants to be. But when a night of fun with Ruby goes wrong, Chloe is taken to live with her father, leaving Ruby behind. But Ruby will do anything to get her sister back and make things right for her. This was a strange book. I read it quickly because I wanted to know what was going on but the ending just left me more confused. I don't understand what the point of any of this was? However, the writing was beautiful and I loved the creepy and hazy atmosphere.

Teeth in the Mist by Dawn Kurtagich

This was pitched as a Faust retelling but I found little connection between it? I loved the Dead House by Kurtagich but her next book was a disappointment for me. While this one was better, I was still left wanting more. It’s strange that the story in the past is the main one, whereas the one in the present is done through transcribed video recordings and journal entries. Honestly, she probably could have done away with the story set in the present. I think many would like this book but it just wasn’t for me.

Twice Dead by Caitlin Seal

Naya lives in a world where necromancy is common, but the wraiths they come back are treated as second class citizens. When a solo trading mission goes wrong, Naya awakens to find herself the very thing she always found disgust in. Wholly creative with lots of twists, this was a strong debut novel.

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

I read Bardugo’s series of short stories A Language of Thorns last year and absolutely loved it. I was...surprised this was written by the same person. It was a very basic YA novel with a love triangle and super special main character. I think I would have enjoyed this a lot more if I had read it as a younger teen.

Truly Devious/The Vanishing Stair by Maureen Johnson

I went into this book expecting a lot of murder and creepy riddles left behind. That's not exactly what I got though. This book was just a tad bit too slowly paced. The murder doesn't happen until a little after the half way mark so the first half of the book felt unnecessary. I feel like 100 pages or so could have been chopped. What I really liked was the mystery behind the school that happened in the 1930s. For me that was the strongest part and I'm more interested in that than the modern day mystery. Which was sort of solved by the end anyway? I think there's more to it but if not it's rather underwhelming. Overall though, I enjoyed the book and the sequel was enjoyable too. Oh, and I need to set the record straight, there's a line in the sequel where someone mentions that the country bear jamboree doesn't have a movie based on it... but it does!!!

Hidden Pieces by Paula Stokes

Embry is the town hero for saving a homeless guy from a fire at an abandoned hotel late one night. But what would the town think if they knew she was the one who started the fire in the first place? Now Embry is receiving notes from someone who knows what she did. Now she must choose between letting the truth get out or given in to her mysterious tormentor’s demands. Hidden Pieces was a fairly solid mystery but it bordered on unrealistic at most times. Still, it was definitely a page turner.

Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy

This is one of those rare cases where I found that the movie was better than the book. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a good book but the movie fine tuned it a lot. The book was surprisingly long and the movie cut out some unnecessary stuff. I was surprised that there was two love interests in the book and I honestly preferred the one that was cut from the film. He was a much better fit for Willowdean and Bo in the book was much more of a jerk who was initially put off by being seen with Willowdean. The fight that Willowdean and her best friend have was much bigger and more dramatic and Ellen was actually pretty nasty throughout it. The movie definitely fleshed out these characters in a much softer light. The relationship with her mother was also much sweeter in the movie than in the book. It felt kind of emotionless and less inspirational here.

Pretty Dead Girls by Monica Murphy 

Popular girls are turning up dead and our main character, Penelope, fears she may be next. I went into this expecting more serious take on Scream Queens. I read this back in September and I honestly don’t remember much other than the characters barely reacted to their classmates/friends deaths and the murderer was impossible to guess and was utterly lame. If the killer has to explain their motives with brand new information that was not found anywhere else in the book, it’s not a good twist. 

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher

This had a lot of potential and I know a lot of people have loved it but it fell flat for me in some places. The book is based on and sort of a sequel to the short story The White People. You definitely need to have read the short story first or this will make zero sense to you. Our main character, Mouse, spends much of the first third of the book cleaning out a hoarder’s house. It gets very tedious but picks up pace when the Twisted Ones are introduced. There are some good moments of tension but Mouse tends to ruin these moments attempting to be funny (which she’s not). The White People works best as a type of horror that is never truly explained but this book does just that. It’s at this point that the book lost me again. I think it’s mostly a matter of taste but I just wasn’t in to it. 

Five Dark Fates by Kendare Blake

I loved this series as a whole but I did not like the ending. Mostly because my least favorite characters ended up as the “winners”. That’s all I’ll say about that.

The Invited by Jennifer McMahon

Helen and Nate decide to leave their cozy life behind to build (literally build) their own little house in a small superstitious town. Problem is, the land they’ve bought is where Hattie Breckenridge a women accused and murdered for witchcraft, lived a hundred years ago. This reads more like a murder thriller that just happens to have ghosts in it than a true ghost story. There were some great twists but it was slow in some places. Like learning about all the ins and outs of what goes into constructing your own house from scratch. Helen and Nate also suffer some martial problems, brought on by the ghost, that just made me anxious and probably wasn’t necessary. I know it adds to the drama and suspense but ugh.

The Best Lies by Sarah Lyu

There’s a murder. There’s a mystery. But that’s not really what this book is about. Remy’s boyfriend is dead and her best friend Elise is the one who killed him. But it was self defense. Probably. The majority of the book takes place in flashbacks starting with Remy and Elise meeting and becoming friends. What starts as a normal friendship slowly turns into a toxic and emotionally abusive codependent relationship. Ultimately, that’s what the book is about. It’s honestly a fantastic portrayal. It’s toxic on both sides but you understand why they care about each other and stay friends. Not all toxic relationships end with a death though and perhaps this would have packed more of a punch had our main character came to some conclusions about her best friend in another way.

Winterwood by Shea Ernshaw

Nora is a Walker and Walkers are witches. How do I know this? Because she mentions it every other page. For the most part this book was enjoyable but extremely predictable. I would still pick up the next book this author writes though.

2 Stars

The Dead Queens Club by Hannah Capin

A modern day retelling about Henry and his 6 wives but this time they are high schoolers. The story is narrated by Annie “Cleaves” Marek, Henry’s fourth wife girlfriend.  I'm pretty much assuming everybody knows about Henry and his 6 wives at this point. So where the book really lost me was at the half way point where it turns into a murder mystery type book. If you know your history, you know who did the murder in this book. So the murder mystery angle doesn't work here, The characters don't know for sure, but we the readers do. It becomes somewhat tedious honestly. Our main character also sucked. Cleves was your typical quirky girl. She says witty things that really aren't witty. She claims to be a hardcore feminist but demonstrates this by kind scolding Henry when he says something sexist...and that's about it. This book was entertaining enough to keep me reading but I had my problems with it. Especially the second half. I think there are some people that will really like this spoofy tongue in check retelling but it just wasn't for me. You can read my full review here.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power

Let me just start by saying that I don't get the hype for this book. It’s an interesting concept but this book just did not work for me. It's somehow not long enough but nothing really happens throughout. The girls were not very "wild" and I don't know what the point of any of this was. This book has been called "feminist horror" and I don't understand that at all. The tox didn't empower them in any way and there wasn't any feminist themes throughout. The gore/body horror was minimal and not very creepy or disgusting at all. Overall, this book was not for me.

The Missing Season by Gillian French

Our lead character moves to a small town where kids go missing every year. The adults find logical reasons for these disappearances but the children of the town believe it is a monster named The Mumbler taking them. Interesting concept that wasn't fully realized. Nothing happens in this book until the last 20 pages. there's no build up or clues that led up to the big twist in the end. When the climax finally happens, it's over within ten pages and then the book ends another ten pages later. Minor plot points lead to nothing and the mumbler was barely played up to make this book suspenseful.

The Babysitter’s Coven by Kate Williams

Adventures in babysitting meets Buffy. Sorta. I went into this super excited and was hoping for something akin to Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I did not get that. This reads more like a middle school book and was overly cheesy. I think younger teens would enjoy but I wasn’t a fan.

How She Died, How I Lived by Mary Crockett 

Kyle texted five girls one night. Only one responded and met up with him. He killed her that night. Our unnamed narrator was one of the girls who didn’t answer his text and now she’s dealing with the aftermath of knowing it could have been her. f this book had ended differently, I would have rated it higher. I had major issues with the romance. The narrator starts a relationship with the slain girl’s boyfriend and it was so insanely toxic though it was written to be romantic.

Rereads

Keeping the Moon by Sarah Dessen (5 stars)

Just Listen by Sarah Dessen (5 Stars)

Gemma Doyle trilogy by Libba Bray (5 Stars)

Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins (5 Stars)

Heartless by Marissa Meyer (4 Stars)

The Beautiful Ones by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (5 Stars)

The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne M. Valente (5 Stars)

Short Stories

The White People by Arthur Machen (2 stars)

I like the story itself but the way it was written was horrendous and hard to follow. It was a huge rambling block of text.

Bridal Boot Camp by Meg Cabot (4 Stars)

The Grownup by Gillian Flynn (5 Stars)

[seyaryminamoto]

Post canon, do you think Azula would regret her actions during the war? As Azula is someone who’s very single-minded when it comes to success, I don’t see her regretting anything. War is war for her. But how can she change? I don’t think she would regret her actions just because people didn’t accept her actions or think what she did was bad. She would need a logical explanation. What do you think?

Uh… that really depends on how a writer chooses to carry her character forward. While Azula didn’t commit any of her worst war crimes in my story, she started out being every bit as remorseless about the Fire Nation’s actions as you’d expect from canon Azula. It has been, of course, an insanely long process, but she has grown to understand the harm her nation did, enough that she even works to fix what little stuff she can nowadays.

As usual, this got long, soooo…

TL;DR: show her the flaws in the Fire Nation’s system, make her bond with new people (preferrably either Team Avatar or other people from other nations), and after a FAIRLY long time she’ll come to understand where the Fire Nation went wrong and regret some of her actions, to some extent.

Now, if you want a full breakdown of what I mean by all of that, feel free to keep reading:

First things first… I’d think Azula needs to see how the war damaged her own nation. The Painted Lady featured the floating town of Jang Hui in the most polluted river the entire franchise had given us so far. ATLA did deal with subjects relating to environmental damage before, but never quite to that extreme: common people were living in the worst conditions because a weapons factory that was operative since Azulon’s time had been dumping their waste in that river for over a decade, if I recall correctly. 

Neither Zuko nor Azula ever saw this, only the Gaang did: how would they react if they did, though? How would they feel upon finding their people are facing such dire consequences for the warmongering of their forefathers? You may be inclined to think Azula might not care, these are means to an end, but I’d like to think an Azula who has been developed to some extent would think otherwise (I can outright tell ya’, I’m bringing this up because I literally wrote Azula confronting this specific reality in Gladiator’s 82nd chapter :’DDD).

This without going into the subject of the death toll: how many of their soldiers were sacrificed and how much people have had to die at a war that has lasted 100 years. Efficient, effective Azula would most likely be disturbed to realize how many resources have gone to waste, how much work has been invested into operations that went nowhere because, let’s be real, if the Fire Nation had been effective all the damn time, this war wouldn’t have dragged out as long as it did. Add to this that Azula is outright the most competent Fire Nation antagonist we ever saw on the show, and it’s obvious the Fire Nation armies would leave a lot to be desired for someone who’d expect nothing but the best from her own people.

Point and case being: show Azula the flaws in the Fire Nation systems, and she’ll start opening her eyes to the reality of the Fire Nation’s internal mess. If they’re striving for greatness, wouldn’t they be above such flaws? Shouldn’t they be better than this?

Now, how would she regret her own actions? That’s a taller order to fulfill yet. But, as tall as it may be, it’s not impossible.

For starters, one of the things I dislike deeply about the comics is that Azula doesn’t feel like herself to me because she’s dead-set on the throne as her endgame even though anyone can tell it’s never going to be hers. Why do I dislike it? Because this is the same girl who, upon being thwarted constantly by Team Avatar in Book 2, kept changing her strategies and even changing the battles she was fighting so she could obtain a “big win” and make her father happy. Can’t catch Iroh and Zuko with a Royal Barge and a full firebending procession? Switch to a smaller team with a train-tank. Can’t find Iroh and Zuko yet, but found the Avatar? Try to capture the Avatar. Failed to capture the Avatar? Off to capture Ba Sing Se instead. Failure to capture the city? Again, switching to tracking down the flying bison to find the Avatar: found the Kyoshi Warriors, found a method to infiltrate the city, captured Zuko and eventually Iroh, “killed” the Avatar, conquered the city: AZULA WINS!

But why did she win? Because she changed tactics. Because she was NEVER static, never hung up on a single goal. She needed to be victorious, and she was in the end, but not for a long time: she literally doesn’t win a single violent confrontation until she fights the Kyoshi Warriors. As epic as she may be, I ALWAYS bring this up because it’s part of her character as well as everything else. In the comics, though? She may change tactics on occasion, but the endgame of her plans never really changes: she wants the throne at all costs, like that’s the only thing in the world that she could ever want. And I find that difficult to understand in a character like her because she lost EVERYTHING in Sozin’s Comet, the last we saw of her she was crying desperately after knowing she had been defeated. This, paired with the mirror scene, showed that Azula was shattering inside. A character who went through trauma of that magnitude can react in countless ways… but the way that I would have thought suited her best would be having a severe belief crisis instead: why did her brother succeed when he had always been the failure while she was the perfect child? Why does he have friends who will fight beside him while hers abandoned her? Why, when everything came to a head, she was completely and utterly ALONE?

The interpretation of the comics is that she decided those questions all could be answered with “Hallucination-Ursa brainwashed them all!” and “I must take the throne and my entire life will be fixed again!”, something that still makes me shake my head to this day. When having the opportunity to explore complex subjects through Azula’s character, they picked the most simplistic route possible to deal with it and obsessed her with a throne she only showed outright interest in during… what, four episodes of the original show? :’D

Sooooooo, as far as comics are concerned, I honestly don’t think they’re taking a route to make Azula regret what she’s done. Other people have a different take on the subject, they’re free to disagree, but unless the new writer treats Azula more seriously than Yang did, it’s hard to imagine they’ll actually touch onto the more complex aspects of the character.

Therefore if we went through the route I expected her to take, meaning, Azula trying to figure out why she failed without dumping all the blame on a single hallucination, I can imagine her touching the surface of the fact that something about her methods, something about her actions, couldn’t have been right. The Ursa hallucination already suggests that Azula knows, on some level, where she went wrong: she feels forced to justify why she handled everyone through fear, claiming “fear is the only reliable way”. It’s not so reliable anymore, though, is it? All the people she thought she’d intimidated and frightened are thriving now, while she’s in an asylum, of all things. Something in her methods was wrong, plain and simple. A perfectionist like her wouldn’t like accepting this, but she’d have no choice other than doing it: otherwise she’d NEVER have ended up in the situation she’s in.

Just like with the previous item, begin to touch upon the failures, the flaws, the problems… and slowly, Azula’s concepts of the world would unravel, and she’d be forced to make sense of it all again, only, now she knows and understands it better than she did before.

Of course, changing her understanding of the world would be far more successful with the right help than by having her work out everything on her own. And by the right help I mean… Azula can’t be helped the same way Zuko was. It’s that simple. You can’t have her open up to Iroh, or learn better through him, because she thinks he’s a failure as well and she has as little respect as possble for him. Likewise, she’d most likely be too proud to learn any better from Zuko, who, let’s be real, has a long way to go still in terms of growing and ESPECIALLY developing enough patience to deal with Azula. While everyone wants him to do it, and hell, I agree that him helping her would be the right way to bring his character full circle, the way Ehasz described it, but I can also see it being a REALLY messed up journey, with more hardships than I think Zuko can endure as he is by the end of ATLA. He’d need a much stronger hold on his emotions than he ever displayed, and we know Azula is one very sore spot for him. Therefore, while it would be thematically great? It would take longer than a Gladiator-length story to do this properly, with both Azula and Zuko being IC enough as compared to where they left off at the end of ATLA.

On top of it all… my most honest take? I don’t really want anyone from Azula’s old social circles, be it friends or family, being part of the start of her healing process. Why’s that? For one thing, what I said above about Zuko and Iroh. For another, her relationship with her mother is radioactive trash even without factoring in The Search. Lastly, bouncing back from a betrayal like Mai and Ty Lee’s would take her AGES, and I don’t think she’d realistically ever fully trust them again after that, especially seeing how neither of them seem to want to be friends with her again anyhow in the show, not even touching upon how much they seem to hate her in the comics. Therefore? I’d like it better if Azula either started to have her own adventures with Team Avatar or found new friends of her own, as she did in Smoke and Shadow.

… Only, and this is why I’d favor Team Avatar, Azula needs influences who AREN’T Fire Nation. All her life that’s all she’s known. If you give her common ground with any of the other five members of the Gaang, you could actually create an interesting dynamic that involves Azula exchanging experiences (rather than trampling over) with someone with a completely different culture than her own.

For example, she can bond with Aang over being bending prodigies, something she doesn’t have in common with anyone from her old circles. She can bond with Katara over having older brothers who drive them crazy. She can bond with Toph over the same thing as with Aang + they’re bound to share some degree of their sense of humor and they’d likely have a competitive streak about who’s the better bender in their respective element, not to mention they’re both highborn who most likely can relate to each other’s family problems. She could bond with Suki over leadership, over warrior training since youth (of course, because of their bad blood I find this one the more difficult angle but it’s far from impossible). And if you really want me to get started with how much stuff she could bond over with Sokka I’ll be writing this ask until tomorrow, so have this link instead.

All this I bring up also under the logic that Team Avatar has forgiven people who wronged them before :’) no, it hasn’t been easy, and no, I wouldn’t expect her to become instant friends with anyone, but it’s hard for me to fathom that all of them would be 100% against being anywhere near Azula forever and ever. Set up grounds for them to have to work together for one purpose or another and you’ll get somewhere with developing Azula’s friendship with any/some of them before you know it.

The core point of having Azula bond and talk with them, though, is for her to undergo the same epiphany she does in Gladiator: shameless self-promoting time!

“What we used to have was separation, definitions, boxes with labels where you could throw each person depending on what they were. And you and me? We don’t share any of those boxes, do we? We’re opposites in practically every regard. Yet why is it that nobody else who shares my boxes has resounded with me in the way you do?”

“We’ve had our clashes, it’s true” he whispered “We really didn’t start off well. But… I guess that comes with balance too, doesn’t it? We were too different to understand each other right away, but in time…”

“We found a rhythm. A way to coexist without destroying each other” said Azula, smiling “Despite it all… fire and water might not need to snuff the other out of existence”

It only took me 107 chapters to get her to this point :’) realistically speaking, I have a hard time seeing a full-blown development of Azula taking a short time, especially if it means tackling even more problems than I needed to in Gladiator, seeing as it’s an AU where she didn’t really get to join the war.

Point being, once Azula finds common ground and solid friendships well outside the Fire Nation (be it Team Avatar or even other people from different nations), she’ll start to feel empathy for them, even if she doesn’t intend to at first. Their lives will matter to her, their struggles… she will find herself realizing what kind of hardships her new friends have undergone because of what the Fire Nation did. And as much as that means she’ll start caring only about one person at a time, that can be expanded into her opening her eyes fully to the horrors of the war she never cared about before.

I honestly doubt she’ll come to fully regret her successes, such as taking over Ba Sing Se or stopping the Invasion force. But she can regret having stood on the side of the conflict where she did, despite she really had nowhere else to stand during ATLA’s time. I’d think, if given proper time to grow, learn better and understand people who are, in essence, different from her despite sharing so much in common with her, Azula would eventually close the door on her past and begin to work towards a future where she won’t have to fear she’ll lose everything again, a future where she’ll have stronger bonds, where she won’t end up alone and abandoned by everyone she ever cared about.

[rockabelle]

What do you like in Endmight? I personally don't see it but I'd love a shipper's insight. :)

Hoo boy. I have to apologize! I’ve been sitting on this ask because I couldn’t figure out a way to answer it without it getting long, and I haven’t had the energy for that. ^^;

So Imma woman up and give it to you, finally.

Both All Might and Endeavor are absolutely fascinating, super complex characters. They are the two strongest heroes in the series, are driven by powerful emotions and motivations, save people for a living, have some seriously angsty shit going on in their lives, and one of them is deeply, deeply flawed while the other is Practically Perfect In Every Way (seemingly. He has some pretty serious weaknesses he could use some help on).

They’ve occupied the top two hero spots for literally decades. Endeavor is the only character we know, in fact, who is probably pretty close to All Might’s age, enough so that they could potentially have even gone to school together. If nothing else, they’ve at least been aware of each other since their early twenties, when they went pro. So they’ve got a long history.

Oh, yeah, and it just so happens that one of them is COMPLETELY OBSESSED with the other, and has been basing his entire life around the other for most of his life. I’ll let you guess which one. XD

Color added to emphasize Enji’s staring.

Haven’t colored this one, but it’s the same with the staring. Seriously. Check out pretty much any picture where they are in the same frame, and 99% of the time, if he’s not sitting right next to him, Enji will probably be staring at Toshinori. That doesn’t even change with Small Might! I’m pretty sure no matter what happens, whenever All Might is around, Enji will always be drawn toward him like a moth to a flame (heh). He just can’t help himself.

What’s really interesting is that according to canon, Endeavor himself acknowledges All Might as the greatest hero, far beyond any other hero. He genuinely admires and respects All Might as a hero and struggles on with him as his goal despite the crippling feelings of inferiority that he suffers from as a result.

As a hero, he was constantly compared to All Might and found lacking.

Hawks tell us that no other hero even TRIED to bridge the gap- they all just gave up on equaling All Might as impossible, much less surpassing him. Even Endeavor himself realized it was impossible, enough that very quickly after making the number 2 spot in his youth, he started embarking on a plan to pass his dream on to the next generation. Despite feeling that it was hopeless, he continued to keep trying, himself. He never, ever stopped.

Of course, this obsession resulted in him doing some pretty terrible things in his family life, enough that he was initially introduced to us as almost a villain. But over the course of the series, there’s a dramatic change for the better in him, owing a great deal to All Might.

Later on, when Endeavor is being officially announced as the number 1 hero at an awards ceremony, before he tells the audience about the kind of number 1 he wants to be, he remembers the above advice from All Might and simply tells them to “watch me.”

So All Might isn’t just an inspiration to him to become a stronger hero, but also to become a better person. A better hero. And a better father.

For All Might’s part, he seems to truly want to get closer to Endeavor, wants to get to know him. He continually seeks him out to talk and invites him out for tea. We see this once in the manga and twice in the light novel, which means it’s probably happened a LOT over the years.

And tell me you didn’t cheer when AFO was about to wipe All Might out and Endeavor blocked his attack.

These two are crackling with chemistry and emotion around each other. There is SO MUCH potential for the two of them going forward.

Their relationship has taken on a very different tone after Kamino, and hell, Enji began his reign as number 1 with a reference to All Might’s last battle (whether consciously or not lol).

Suuuuuuuuure, Enji. Sure.

I find it especially interesting that Horikoshi takes their infamous talk at the sports festival, and reverses it when they talk again at the provisional license exam classes.

It went from All Might spotting Endeavor on the stairs and asking to meet up to chat, and then asking him advice on how to educate the next generation…

…to Endeavor spotting All Might on the stairs, asking to meet up for a chat, asking for advice in how to handle the transition of becoming the new top hero, advice which also wound up changing the way he looked at mentoring his son (this was made very clear in the chapter).

Most importantly, Toshinori gave Enji permission to just be himself and find his own way.

With Enji released from the shackles of living up to All Might, and with the ability to look at Toshinori with clear eyes, free of hatred but not of admiration, there is a lot of possibility for the development of their relationship. The way that Enji refers to him as “former number 1″ does not come off as mockery at all. Rather, it smacks of a feeling of respect and equality.

I rather suspect that if Enji ever heard people talking shit about All MIght- like his retirement, his injury, his legacy, etc.- that he would either shut them up or fuck them up.

As far as their personalities go, that is another interesting mix. Their temperaments are definitely different- Enji is a hothead while Toshi rarely loses his temper. Both are extremely efficient and dedicated to their duty, but whereas Enji is frankly being slowly revealed as a giant tsundere, Toshinori’s open kindness and deep empathy are the core part of his heroism. Toshinori is flamboyant and fun-loving, whereas Enji is always serious (will we ever see him genuinely smile?) and has no interest in playing or entertaining fans or whatever. Basically, they are very different people, even if they share some important things in common. It would be interesting to see how they could balance each other out.

Plus, they are just fucking hilarious together, sometimes.

I mean, really

In closing- it also doesn’t hurt that they are both extremely attractive LOL Either you’ve got an extreme case of different body types, or you have a bara double-scoop, and either way is delicious.

And Enji is one of the few people with a physicality and temperament that I can easily see topping Toshinori, which is gold, in my book

—

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[julius-scaeva]

A couple of days ago I made this point on main. As you can see, it didn’t become very popular, BUT it’s still something I feel very strongly about (and yes, I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe I’m biased), so I decided that I had something to say. (Obviously: HUGE spoilers for Darkdawn). Also, bring with you pop-corns, you’re here for a ride (there’s a tiny TL;DR at the end btw). 

Let’s start by saying that I adore backstories in books. It’s my favorite kind of fanfiction to write and to read, I’m always glad when an author decides to give us flashbacks about a minor character, and I adore looking for little hints in a character’s behavior to get to know them better.

The explanation for this is pretty simple: I firmly believe that how we are heavily depends on what experiences we’ve come in contact with. I don’t think that our identity is solely based on experiences, but I also think that backstories are often more important than someone might think when considering a story.

I love when an author gives a minor character a voice because they are taking into account that everyone is the protagonist of their own story, everyone has had their personal character development, and, even though they can’t give a proper place for everyone to shine, they still can make us understand that these characters exist, in some way.

This is one of the reasons why I love the Villains series by V. E. Schwab and this is one of the main reasons why I loved The Nevernight Chronicle: almost (emphasis on almost) every character Mia (and therefore the reader) comes in contact with has a story to tell and Jay Kristoff makes sure we know that. That we know what has brought them to the point they are.

This is especially super important in a story that takes place in a country like Itreya where violence and prevarication seem, most of the time, the only options: if you give me a story that is meant to be super bloody and filled with morally questionable people, but then don’t make sure we understand why those people act in that way I won’t be impressed. I will only be extremely bored.

Itreya is a country that deeply influences people’s decisions simply because they often lack the opportunity to see that there’s another way: think about Furian, and how the meeting with the priest changed his life forever. Or about Ashlinn, about how she only knew vengeance before meeting Mia (and her father, how traumatizing had to be for him being imprisoned and tortured all those months). Or about Leona, who is surely deeply flawed and selfish, but is also scarred from an extremely traumatic experience from her childhood. Or about Jessamine, Hush, Carlotta, Corleone all characters we don’t really follow for a lot of time, but we have a little window opened for us and we get a small look in why they became who they are. (Ps: we don’t know shit about Cassius either and this pisses me off too, especially because we had Eclipse RIGHT THERE but that’s off the point I’m trying to make here. Just... if you ever plan to write something about him, let me know, okay?)

And, this is also essential, it doesn’t work only for the kids: like I’ve already said, characters like Furian, or Leona, or Corleone, or Ashlinn’s father are essential because we’re shown that this systemic use of violence and injustice isn’t something that screwed up only the last generation, but is deeply rooted in the very core of Itreya.

After all, what can you expect from a country born from a father killing his own child?

And then we come to the main antagonists.

Let me say this straight: there are villains, in The Nevernight Chronicles as well as in other stories, that don’t need backstories. Not ever single villain in a story needs to be super well developed or super interesting: there are some people who are just... shitty. And that’s all. Because that’s how the world works. There are people who are violent, who are cruel, simply because they can. Example: we don’t know anything about Leonides or Duomo, we only know how their actions scarred and influenced other characters. There’s nothing spectacular about them, nothing stands out: they are two men using their strength and power to abuse vulnerable people close to them. There’s nothing interesting, nothing even remotely alluring, nothing that captures my interest in a man beating his wife to death in front of his daughter or in an another man using his power to abuse young children to the point of one of them committing suicide. They are meant to be seen as disgusting. They are meant to be seen as monsters. They are meant to be seen as the embodiment of the extreme privilege that touches so few people in the Republic and causes oh so much damage. I don’t want to read about them. I never will. It would be the equivalent of reading about Donald Trump. (You can fight me on this comparison)

And then we come to the actual point of what I’m trying to say: I was extremely disappointed, up until Darkdawn, that we didn’t get any sort of background for the components of the Red Church and I was glad we had little snippets with some information about them (especially, especially Drusilla. She and Mercurio had more chemistry than half of the main couples I’ve encountered in books). We also had some kind of information about Solis too (more or less). But... what about Aalea? Spiderkiller? Mouser? Are we just supposed to believe they appeared out of nowhere, already assassins and murderers and completely corrupted by money and gold?

Are we supposed not to have sympathy for them just because they are villains?

Because, if that’s the case, it pisses me off to no end.

And I wouldn’t even be mad about this, like I said, if it hadn’t been made clear that backstories ARE IMPORTANT to make us understand what’s going on in the Republic. I mean, we know stuff about The Falcons that serves no purpose other than that, right?

But okay, o.k.a.y., Jay Kristoff, there are characters who maybe have too little on-page time to talk about them in depth (even though I’d argue on the fact that there was no time for them to actually have a proper backstory), or, maybe, you here were trying to, once again, like with Leonides and Duomo, make us see how richness and power slowly corrupt and destroy, and if you had given us backstories the message wouldn’t have been as effective as it was.

If I consider those characters to be more symbols than, in fact, characters, then I’m ready to look past their lack of background.

And then we come to Scaeva.

Now, if you haven’t already guessed by the url of my blog, or by its aesthetic, or by my main blog, Julius Scaeva is, by far, my favorite character in the trilogy. Which is saying a lot, because I loved almost everyone there (emphasis on “almost”). What can I say? I love me a great villain.

Up until the end of Godsgrave, I was interested in him, but, his character not being in basically two books, I hadn’t enough material to really consider him (even though his dialogue with Alinne made a lasting impression on me) and I wasn’t really sure how I would feel about him by the end of the series. 

And then, then, the last pages of Godsgrave and the first of Darkdawn happened and I suddenly knew I wasn’t reading about “a villain” like, for example, Leonides or Duomo, or even Spiderkiller: I was reading about a well-rounded character.

What makes the difference, you might ask. Well, apart from the number of pages dedicated to him, Scaeva has a well rounded personality, interesting relationships with other people, especially Mia and Jonnen (please, tell me something about Spiderkiller apart from her liking gold and being good at making poisons) and is, undoubtedly, the most charismatic character in the whole thing. I feel like what really made his character, btw, are the glimpses of the past relationship he had with Alinne (the Nevernight wiki says that it was only sexual but it clearly wasn’t and I’m working on another analysis just to prove my point) and, most of all, the interactions with Jonnen. Especially, ESPECIALLY, the scene with them and Adonai (aka: one of my absolute favorites sequences in the entire trilogy).

Kristoff wants us to feel strong emotions towards Scaeva: negative emotions, of course (he totally failed in that with me, btw), but you can’t help a subtle hint of admiration for what he managed to do. It makes a lot of sense, since I’ve been confirmed that his figure was, as I thought, inspired by Caesar (aka: one of my favorite historical figures of all time, and kind of crush when I was a child)---I have to thank @kavinskhhy​ for telling me that Kristoff actually confirmed he was based off Caesar, which is.

The thing is: for characters that are half as complex as him (because he is a complex character, you can fight me on that too) we are given pages and pages that explain how they became the way they are (*cough cough* Maggot *cough cough*). And then we come to the main antagonist. The man Mia has despised all her life. The man that *shocking* is also her father. The man that alone has brought a State on its metaphorical knees. And we discover that he’s actually a well-defined and alluring figure. And... 

We get absolutely nothing about him.

And when I say nothing, I really do mean nothing.

Before he became consul, we are left in the complete dark.

“He’s probably only another of those characters born in privilege” you might say. “Kristoff doesn’t say anything because there’s nothing to say!”

Had this been the case, him being born as a Darkin in a family of mellowborn and having to come to terms with that would have been pretty interesting to see nonetheless, considering the reputation Darkins have in canon (may I remind you that Alinne, in her madness, was terrified of Mia, telling her that she was not her daughter, just because “He was inside of her”? Like I said. Interesting.). But then, let me ask you: are you sure he was born in absolute privilege?

Leaving the comparison with Caesar (born in a very ancient family, but also... not really wealthy nor powerful, to use an euphemism) aside: are you sure that someone as Leonides and Duomo would have developed an obsession (I don’t feel any other word is fitting, here) with the concept of “will”? Would someone who thinks everything he has is well deserved just because he was born in the right family refer to what he’s doing as “a game”? Would someone who has never had to struggle his whole life care to develop a partial immunity to the Everseeing’s symbol, even thought it must have costed him an immense amount of pain? 

But now you’ve proven yourself my daughter true. Possessed by the same will as I: not only to survive, but to prosper. To carve your name with bloody fingernails into this earth.

Look me in the eye and tell me that this man came from the same background as Duomo and Leonides.

“But maybe Kristoff only wanted us to hate him!”

No, he didn't. Because:

1) a villain you’re able to despise without any second thought isn’t a great villain (and you need a worthy opponent when you create a main character such as Mia): if you’re giving us a story filled with morally gray character, the MAIN villain has to be, in my opinion, as interesting as the others.

2) there are in the story characters you have no problem hating and I’ve analyzed why Scaeva is different from them. 

3) there is a moment (only one moment, that’s true, but it’s enough for me to conclude that Kristoff wanted us to see Scaeva as a well rounded character) where you can’t help feeling the tiniest bit of positive emotion towards him. And that’s where he uses his own body as a shield to protect his son. 

And even if he wanted us to hate him, that would defy one of the main messages of the book: everyone (or almost everyone: see the examples above) is a product of the environment they grew up in. Violence causes violence. And Itreya was literally founded over a murder.

So, to sum up: we know how important backstories are in the Nevernight world, to the point of even side characters getting a couple of flashbacks here and there. We have differentiated between characters seen as “symbols” and characters with their own depth. We’ve come to the conclusion that Scaeva is as (if not more) interesting as the majority of the characters who got their own backstory.

And you’re really really telling me that he is the only one out of them all we don’t get to know better?

Why?

Because he’s the villain? (Like I’ve stated up until now, this would make a TERRIBLE excuse)

Because there was no time?

What the hell should I conclude finishing this book? “Oh yes, everyone is a product of society and has therefore a story to tell except that one guy because fuck him, he’s a dick, we don’t care”?

If we take into accounts Spiderkiller, Aalea and Mouser the thing becomes even worse, because it really seems that everyone but the villain has a sad story behind them that makes them act the way they do.

“Oh, shit, something terrible happened to me when I was a child so now I’m a bad person, BUT NOT AS BAD AS THE BAD GUYS, WHO HAVE NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO BE THE WAY THEY ARE. OR MAYBE THEY HAVE, WHO KNOWS? WHO CARES? NOT ME!”

See? SEE? It doesn’t make sense!!!

And maybe you didn’t even notice that, maybe you don’t even care, but since I was little I’ve always took the vilains’ side, analyzed their actions and spent all my time wondering what their side of the picture might be, because almost no one ever cares for backstories of the side characters, let alone the ones of the guys you’re supposed to hate.

And when I come in contact with a story that almost makes mandatory to inform us of every single character’s background, because the author finally acknowledges the importance of what you’ve been through in defining who you are, because if you’ve only seen blood and violence throughout your whole life OF FUCKING COURSE you’re going to believe there’s no other way--when an author does all of this and then systematically leaves out the villains (even the most complex ones) from this mentality

THIS is when I snap.

TL;DR in case you got bored halfway through: if you use backstories in your works to inform us how a violent and cruel environment systematically fucks up everyone, no matter their social status, and then purposefully leave out the antagonists because they are antagonists, I’m not going to take it lightly.