#I wanted to draw them cold because I missed the snow when I went to Canada

[von-leg]

Thoughts of Luffy visiting Law’s home and arrives extremely underdressed

[syre-stane16]

DO CRYO VISION HOLDERS DESERVE THEIR ELEMENT?

Sorry about how long this took, I told myself that I won't complete this series until I finish and publish another chapter of my fanfic. So I did. Then the exams :,-[

Ok, let's begin.

WHAT IS CRYO?

Cryo is associated with love in Genshin. I believe this comes from the 'the Snow Queen' by Hans Christian Anderson, where shards of a broken mirror corrupts the heart. So I can see an association there…

Ice is used as a preservative which is already perfect for Qiqi.

Ice is pretty, I can make a case for purity, clarity and Knowledge (because of the preservation aspect).

In terms of negative aspects: cold(world shattering idea over here), danger, isolation and slippery(trickster characters or smt)

let's begin.

KAEYA

Pretty boy already has the beauty aspect, however remember that there's more than meets the eye with this man. While I don't believe he's a completely bad person, I do think he could be a pretty dangerous character and so Varka was in the right keep him close.

Of course the slippery aspect works nicely with this man, I will make a case for isolation as well. Even if he does have people he cares about in Mondstadt, the dude that he should be closest to is Diluc, and well...

Also, Kaeya being aware of his role as a spy would further his feelings of isolation. The dude he trusted with that info blew up on him and the only other person we see him genuinely like is Klee.

Him being Kheanrian also allows him an association with the preservation aspect. He was told that his role would be vital for Kheanria.

Kaeya idolises family, he see's it as a very important part of a person's life. This results in one of the few concrete ideals this man exhibits. According to his informant Vile, he doesn't work with people who hurts other's families.

Abandoned by his biological dad [ I don't care if its for a good cause, its still abandonment,] he was adopted by Crepus, who died and had then falling out with his brother. I think we can safely state that he has familial issues.

Received the vision during THE altercation with Diluc. :/

DIONA

Diona's a bartender, and ice is an important part in cocktail mixing. She's open about her goals to dismantle the wine industry so we'll put her under clarity. She plays this cold, i-dont-care-about-you character, which is adorable when a child does it.

Her reasons for toppling down the wine industry is due to her father, the man is a drunk and though he doesn't become violent whilst under the influence, he still worries Diona with this addiction. Also, imagine the responsibilities that child would have. She has to take care of her father when he's in this state. We know she still loves her father though, so she has a complicated family situation.

She got her vision when she went out on a stormy night to find her father after he went missing while drunk.

She definitely loves her father, and her goals come from that love and desire to help him, even if it doesn't solve the root causes of alcoholism.

ROSARIA

Rosaria is cold and pretty isolated. She stays away from the activities of the sisters of Barbathos. She draws away from Mondstadt by being indifferent to the FUCKING ARCHON.

The people she tends to hang around with is Barbara [unwillingly], Kaeya [doesnt really trust him] and Venti[ It's Venti, the dude isn't trustworthy anyways]. Basically, her relationships in the tavern trio is, 'These two fucks are sus as hell so Imma monitor them.'

A brief explanation of her family situation. She was taken in and raised by a group of bandits. After betraying her gang, she had to kill her adoptive father. This is where she gets her vision.

She is taken in by Varka, after her 'family' was taken car of by the knights of favonius. She got the second chance since she was STILL A CHILD.

She stays and serves Mondstadt because she wants to repay the kindness she was shown.

MIKA

[Ok, so I did the research and notes like 2 months ago and I don't remember enough to elaborate on this part and I'm too lazy to go back to research so.... I'm just typing down the notes.]

Familial problems, knowledge, got the vision in a sticky situation, preservation [May come from the fact the my dude's a cartographer.]

EULA

Beautiful, dangerous, cold.

She is forced into isolation by her family and the people of Mondstadt due to her family history which is a fucking crappy thing to do. At least she has people on her side, so she's not completely alone.

I'll make a case of preservation, her family is an important part of Mondstadt's past, even if they were on the wrong side of history. bringing a major clan back this time in a positive light will preserve culture. Girl doesn't even deny her families past.

She got her vision during a low moment of her life, being cast out from Mondtsadt and her clan, unable to trade money for goods and services and left to fend for herself.

QIQI

Preservation because zombie. I guess she could be lonely, but she doesn't notice it that much. Adopted by baizhu. Whatever the FUCK I wrote here.

GANYU

As an adeptus, she has the role and duty of preserving Liyue. She was taken in by Cloud Retainer, and her story quest was her feeling lonely.

CHONGYUN

Reference to the chill you get when encountering spirits? Also his yang energy situation needs to be regulated via cold, so it could just be for mercy.

SHENHE

Obvious case for cold, isolation and danger. She was abandoned by her father and killed the monster she was sacrificed to. The adoptive daughter of Cloud Retainer. She is close with her new family.

AYAKA

Her clan are one of major players in the preservation of Inazuma. Due to her status, she feels isolated from the people she meets.

I'll make a case for Beauty and I've written down purity , which might come from the princess archetype she has going on? [ What was your logic me from two months ago? T-T]

The death of her parents had a toll on her brother, poor dude had to take over a FUCKING CLAN AND THE RESPONSIBILITIES AT THE AGE OF 16. I know Ayaka was also affected by their deaths as bad. And worst of all, one of her major emotional supports can't be close to her during such a hard time in her life.

I'm not saying she has any resentment to her brother or the people he serves, all im saying is that the Kamisato siblings were dealt a bad hand and I want people to appreciate them as much as I do.

I feel a strong case for love, especially towards her brother. Those two are pretty much all they have left.

LAYLA

All I have written down for her is knowledge. I'm gonna add preservation because her sleepy time conscience leaves a mark of her existence in the form of finished assignments.

It's weak, I know.

FREMINET

The knowledge aspect since he's fatus, Isolation [2 months younger me might have noted that due to his depression, hydrate yourselves btw.] I also wrote preservation down, if I wrote the essay down earlier I would've remembered the reason but I didn't and now I'll write more detailed notes, gods damned.

Love toward his siblings in the House of the Hearth, he also received his vision during a mission gone wrong that nearly killed him.

One of the children of the House of the Hearth.

CHARLOTTE

Knowledge, clarity, preservation [pictures], her camera is an act of love from her father.

WRIOTHSLEY

Chill guy. this dude LOVES, like have you played his story quest? have you seen his interactions? OH MY GODS.

Knowledge and Clarity may be a reference to the eyes and ears he has around the Fortress of Merropied.

He took measures to protect the people of Fontaine during the Flood, and he does protect the people of Merropied.

Orphan, taken in by a family, found out later that he was going to be sold, killed his 'parents', sentenced to prison, made new family. :)

CONCLUSION

This one was a lot of guessing and decoding on my end, which is completely on me, my notes should be better.

The broken family before finding a new one trend was interesting to me, it's not all characters but enough to get me wondering.

Is this what the Tsarista feels?

Think about it, maybe she loses her family during the archon war, or she feels disappointed in her first 'family' [ since I doubt a diety associated with love would be oogely-boogely about what the Heavenly Principals have done]. She finds a new family in the form of the harbingers, the leader being a Kheanrian.

Another thing I noticed is a lot of the vision stories I saw was like a helping hand to the users, like, it was granted to show them that there was someone on their side.

They were given a vision when they were the most isolated.

Which I think is sweet. It's loving. Warming my heart as I type this out. The Tsaritsa is going to be an interesting character. I know it.

[merakiui]

Hello!!! I've been following you for a while, but this is my first ask >.< but I saw your friends with benefits dialog post and couldn't help thinking of reader being in a fwb situation with any of the octotrio (I personally like to think jade) with the dialog from reader being "i didn't know who else to call. you're all i've got right now." I like to think the octotrio are very protective, especially if they have developed feelings for the reader. Like, imagine that there is some dude that just won't leave reader alone and they don't feel safe. Just the thought of them taking us in and taking care of our "problem" has me orz

o o o o oo oooo overprotective Jade........ this is such a good thought, anon!!

(fwb dialogues)

When you see him, it's like the snow has melted away and flowers have sprung from cold, cracked earth. Jade Leech is, by all accounts, the last person you'd ever want to see after your inadvisable run-ins with him, but he's reliable. A little too reliable, admittedly. He looks like he rushed to get here, his coat buttoned haphazardly and his hat placed crookedly on his head. It's hard to believe the always-patient, ever-so-perfect Jade could forget to uphold that façade after your brief phone call.

For a short while, the both of you stare at the other. A frigid breeze blows between you, and you push past the few passersby on the pathway to reach him. He's in the process of saying something, but it's your arms thrown around him that abruptly cut him off. Relieved tears gather in your eyes, and you hold on tightly.

"I... I didn't know who else to call. You're all I've got right now," you whisper into his wool coat. "Sorry. I know you're busy."

Jade's arms close around you in reciprocation. "I'll always make time for you."

You're not used to this treatment. Neither is he. You've only ever known surface-level physicality. Emotions have always been shelved in favor of indulging in fleeting, present-day pleasures. You never go any deeper than you must.

Tonight's different.

Still reeling, nerves frazzled, you relay the story in a shaky mumbling. "I went to dinner with a classmate and we were only going to talk about the semester project, but then he started... It just got weird and I hid in the bathroom, and I had no idea what to do. Without thinking I called you and you answered and... And—"

Jade rubs soothing circles into your back. His touch is soothing, grounding you in the moment. It smooths out all of the icky feelings you'd previously been at war with, replacing every frightened imagining with something bright and beautiful.

"There's no need to push yourself. I understand the story well enough."

"Thanks..." You sniffle and slowly draw away, patting his coat for good measure. "For coming, I mean. I really didn't think you would."

Jade frowns. "I wouldn't ignore you in your time of need."

"Yes, you would—" You stop yourself. He's never once left a message on read. He always returns missed phone calls. And now, holding you in his arms, he's come to your aid.

Despite everything—all of the pointless promises for something with no strings attached—he cares. He always has and he always will.

"Ah. Um. Then I guess I owe you one."

Jade's mismatched eyes flick from you to the restaurant and then back. An emotion you can't quite decipher passes over his face, and he seems to be assessing something in silence. Eventually, his expression clears and he offers you a cordial smile.

"I assume you haven't eaten yet?"

"Are you kidding? Of course not! I can't go back in there and eat with that creep!"

His smile widens, and for once you trust that more than you've ever trusted anything before.

"Well, if you aren't opposed to it, we could get dinner at one of my favorite places. It's not too far from here. My treat."

You stare at him, shocked. This is new. You've never gone to dinner with him before. "Wait, really? You're serious?"

"There's no punchline to my words. So, yes, I'm quite serious."

"And you're not just asking because you want sex?"

Jade's lips drop into a disappointed moue. It's an expression you've yet to see on him. "Your lack of faith in me is woefully astounding. Must I wear a collar for you to recognize my loyalty?"

You roll your eyes, shoving him playfully. "Yeah, yeah. I get it. You're being honest." Heaving an exhausted breath, you slide out of his arms. "Okay, fine. Dinner sounds good."

He perks up, visibly pleased. "In that case, please wait here. There's one minor issue I must see to and then we can be off."

"Huh? Where are you going?"

"To say hello to your classmate." His smile is no longer the soft, sweet thing it once was. Now it's razored with malice, and it fills his eyes with a scheming sort of darkness. "I won't be long."

"Right..."

Amidst the wintry air and the confusion, you feel strangely fuzzy inside. You're sure it's just a side effect of encroaching hypothermia. Definitely nothing else.

Mysteriously, your classmate drops out of the course and you're left to finish the project on your own. But perhaps that was for the best. When asked what he said, Jade feigns innocence and speaks in convenient embellishments. Best not to press the matter any further.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

request for you to write anything sad and comforting about Helen please, just let your thoughts flow

I went with some varied headcanons :) I hope you enjoy them. I really miss writing for Helen.

Hates the way he's set up his life to go socially. When Helen first joined the mansion he didn't want to be friends with anyone. He was so used to isolation that he didn't want to try and forge bonds with anyone, so he became the quiet loner that just sits quietly in the back of the room. In a world where he has you, it's more tolerable, and much easier, as you give him the socialness that he craves, and you make it so much easier for him to cross the boundary with others as well. But, in a world without you, in a world that's just my lore, he doesn't have that. I mean, sure, he has Pup and Natalie, but even then, they don't talk nearly as often as he would like, but he's too scared and timid to try and ask them to hang out more, to ask them to help him get to know the others. Helen feels constantly trapped in the isolation that he's built for himself.

On rainy or snowy days, that's when Helen craves you the most. He feels so much colder and so much lonelier, especially because he can't really escape outside as much as he would like on these days, and so he always searches you out. These are the few times when Helen will be openly clingy with you, grabbing onto your arm and your hand gently as he quietly asks you to go somewhere more private, assuming that's okay, but if it's not, he'll just settle himself beside you, refusing to release your arm as he buries into your shoulder. Helen isn't sure why these days are so difficult for him, as nothing involving his trauma had to do with rain or snow and clouds hanging above, but he just feels so lost and cold and alone, and your company is the best solution he's found to cope with it. On the days you're happy to indulge him and go somewhere private, he'll curl up in bed with you, your back against his chest, a warm blanket around both of you and warm hot chocolate to drink close by. Sometimes he'll turn on something to quietly play in the background like a show or music, but for the most part, he just wants to indulge in the comfort of your warmth.

Draws people's faces when he misses them. Something he's done for a while now is that when he really misses someone, even someone he's not necessarily close to, he'll draw their face to soothe the ache in his chest. When Natalie or Pup have been gone on a long mission, he'll devote whole pages to sketching their most shown emotions. When he hasn't gotten to see you for some extended period of time, he'll spend hours drawing you in such wonderful detail, making sure every line is perfect. When Toby hasn't stopped by the art room in a while to hang out and draw, Helen sits in Toby's favorite spot and draws the bright smiles Toby always has on his face when he stops by, or the sad frustration when his drawings begin to represent Toby's inner sadness. When Jeff hasn't been around the mansion in a while, Helen draws his louder expressions, when he's yelling, laughing, or just being annoying. Helen remembers so many details from everyone's faces, and the drawings are always so accurate and well done, and yet, nobody knows. He feels too... Nervous? He's not used to feeling nervous, but he tells himself that nervousness is what he feels about it, maybe even shy, and so he keeps these drawings to himself, to leaf through and add to when that longing for companionship rises back up again.

[cho-aaacho]

Date Night ( Albert Wesker x Reader)

Masterlist I Archive Of Our Own

Tags : Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Humor, First Dates, Boss/Employee Relationship, Soft Albert Wesker, Crushes, Date Night, Flirting, Reader is genderless

A/N : This time I'm writing from Wesker's POV. Thank you for reading!

My voice echoed as I called you in the hallway. My heart responded with a rhythmic beating, pounding in my chest like crazy. I could hear my blood rushing through my veins as excitement surged through me.

With a simple "Good morning," you smiled at me. I touched my heart in anticipation, but I failed to cover my red cheeks. Pretending like something never happened between you and me.

Chris believes my behavior has changed since your arrival. I am acting unreasonably. Maybe they've finally noticed the captain's weird demeanor over the past three months.

Yet, these emotions are seeds I planted in my heart. Every day, every time, it's been growing within me, blooming beautifully.

Perhaps, I seem insane and go crazy each time I gaze at you. I know you couldn't detect it under my shades, and I know you would never notice it because I've never shown it. The fact that you aren't part of S.T.A.R.S. makes me frustrated sometimes.

How can I draw near and reach your soul? How could I hear you calling my name when you're not on my side? It's frustrating me, really.

You turned, smiling, gracing me with calming eyes, their shapes akin to crescent moons in the night veil. Oh, how I ache for your aroma each time, each day—I miss every nuance. It's senseless. How do I feed my ego?

"Oh, Captain Wesker! Good morning. You look nice today. Do you need some help?"

Despite the fear, you stood gracefully on your own, throwing your gaze into me and avoiding a pointless banter. You captivate me, really. You're unlike any other officer. Why did I realize this so late? Such a fool.

"Oh, nothing, Officer. I'm sorry to call you this way. I just haven't found a good moment to talk to you."

Mesmerized, our eyes met, and, immediately, I daydreamed of a happy ending. Pathetic, perhaps, but that's the reality. What am I supposed to do?

"I thought you were still in the Arklay Facility. I assume your mission went well. So... what did you want to discuss?"

Smiling, I tried to release my calmness, showing my warm side and gentleness, trying to touch your soft spot.

"Thanks to the Alpha Team," I replied, using my sweetest voice.

"It's because you are their superior, Captain. I envy them sometimes." 

As winter falls, a chill of sorrow wraps around me, making me so lonely each time the snow touches my skin. Yet, you, with your calm and relaxed nature, have become a sun to comfort my cold side. Guiding me through this heart-wrenching season.

"Are you free on Saturday? I'm buying a new oven, and I've been trying to bake cookies lately. So... I want you to become my taster."

What the hell am I talking about? I don't even have a new oven.

But you.

You.

YOU!

How can you comfort me with a warm smile for someone with a stern and cold demeanor like me? I don't deserve that.

A serene smile danced upon your lips, but this time I couldn't predict what the smile was for. Perhaps you thought I was joking or talking nonsense. My azure eyes fixed on you, locking your eyes on mine, waiting for your response.

"It depends, Captain." You smirked, dragging me into the mysterious realm. What did you do to me? Why are you smirking like that? Is that a flirt? Are you trying to flirt?

"Oh, I'm sorry, Officer. But I don't understand."

Fits of giggles escape as your gaze falls into mine; undoubtedly, this is the most delightful smile I've ever seen this morning. I suppose I have a beautiful morning.

You said, "If other people ask me, I will answer that I am busy. But if you do, I'll say I have plenty of time..."

"So... it means—" I paused, trying to find fine words in my brain. But I can't think of a single word to describe it. My gaze meandered towards you, and I nervously smiled.

"Yes, I'm free. You can ask me anything at that time. My time is yours, Captain."

I found myself lost in the daydream and reality. My mind is trapped in a gentle fog without a light on it. What should I do now? Did you just accept my offer or—

"Captain, are you okay?"

A playful chuckle escaped my lips as I wrapped myself in my arm. "Oh, thank you, Officer. I thought you were going to reject my invitation."

"No. I love cookies, and I'm sure your homemade cookies are just as nice as you, Captain. See you tomorrow!" 

I made a fanart for this situation. Lmao.

[star-girl69]

Ultraviolence

Natalie Scatorccio x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: im backk!!!! ty all sm for your patience and i hope you all enjoy!!

warnings: animal death, mentions of starvation, swearing, near death experience, mentions of hypothermia, minor injury, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Twenty Six - Savior

Chapter Twenty Five - Savior

—-

1996-

“I still think you’re stupid for doing this,” you whisper.

Natalie shoots you a bored look, mostly because e you’ve been telling her this for the past hour, trying to get her- and everyone else- to realize this is stupid and pointless.

“I know,” she says, adjusting a seatbelt from the plane that’s wrapped around her.

“Then don’t do it,” you say, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re letting them get to you. They’re just scared and lonely, so they’ve made up this whole weird religion for comfort. Let them have it, Natalie.”

She doesn’t answer, and you sigh, shaking your head and sitting down on the bench next to her.

Misty clears her throat.

“Ahem. Okay, so one-on-one means no assistance of any kind. If you get a kill, just leave it where it is and we will come and help you bring it back.” She talks so happily and nonchalant, like this is the most normal thing in the world. Pitting two teenage girls against each other in an already dangerous place. “You yourself have to be back before sundown, or you’re automatically disqualified. If you’re not back by then, we’ll come out, and we’ll find you.”

Misty smiles so brightly you almost think she’s talking about puppies.

“Oh, and for weapons…” she trails off, heading towards the rifle leaning against the wall. “We only have one gun. So, um, maybe you can draw cards-”

“Lottie doesn’t need a gun.” Mari speaks with such conviction you find yourself believing her too.

You look up at Natalie, and she looks at you, seemingly just as fucking confused and weirded-out as you are-

“Okay,” Misty shrugs, and Nat takes the gun from her. She slings it over her shoulder, and when you think of her, this is what you picture. Natalie with her headband, brown roots, rifle hanging on her shoulder.

Outside is just as cold as you expected it to be, and you watch as she puts on her mask like she always does, pulls up her hood, so all you can see is the soft curve of her grown-out bangs and her eyes.

She looks at you, almost expecting you to say something, but this entire useless thing makes you feel sick. You’ve already said all that you have to say.

Nat has been so against Lottie and her new rituals ever since Doomcoming.

Ever since they tried to kill Travis. Ever since Javi went missing.

Ever since Lottie said that soon, everyone will see it like you do.

Maybe she’s just worried you’ll get hurt, but in the wilderness- that becomes second nature. Worrying for yourself. For her. For everyone in the cabin.

She pulls down her mask after a moment.

“Will you just say something?”

You stare back at her with blank eyes.

“Good luck,” you offer, and she scoffs, staring at you, and you can’t look away from her. You step forward, a little tentative, feeling a little stupid. “Don’t die,” you whisper, and she smiles slightly, muttering, before suddenly you’re hugging her.

It’s short, and it only even happened because the two of you have been through so much together there are just parts of you that are the same. And even when you’re both mad like this, even when you both want different things, like magnets… you come back.

When you let go, she’s gone back to being bitter about the whole world, looking at Lottie over her shoulder.

She spares you one more glance before she disappears into the trees, snow crunching under her feet.

—-

You thought that the window would be the easiest place to be. Waiting for her to come back, but you felt stuck looking out the window. There was nothing to see. No one was returning, and there was only the same snow and trees you had seen for so long.

All of you were trapped in this place. The wilderness, you were stuck- for at least the winter.

And Natalie was stuck in a loop. Letting everyone bother her, letting them and their weird new religion sink under her skin. She had an anger inside of her that had been there for so long you doubt she even recognized it. And you were stuck in that loop too- watching her.

Everyone had turned to doing their own things, menial chores, waiting, daydreaming of food. You sat at the table and closed your eyes.

“There’s that dripping again.”

You open one eye to find Mari looking around the cabin for the non-existent dripping noise she’s been hearing.

“Did no one hear that?” she looks around the room, but the girls say silent. You risk a small glance up to the ceiling, but all you see is wood. Normal, dry wood. “I’m gonna go find out where it’s coming from,” she sighs, and you close your eyes again, listening faintly to Mari and Akilah talk about looking together, taking the SATs.

Every reminder of the life that’s waiting back for you feels like a punch to the stomach. Quizzes, tests, college… everything is passing you by while you’re all stuck here. Arguing like the teenagers you can’t afford to be anymore. Not here. Not in the wilderness.

And then, besides for Misty and Crystals soft talking, the cabin is silent. Mari and Akilah give up on searching. And everyone just waits.

Life, you’ve grown to realize, is just a series of hungers.

First it was to succeed, to be the best in school. Then it was Natalie, wanting her, everything you feel for her. And now it’s food.

And maybe it will end. But for now, your stomach twists and turns.

—-

Natalie slams open the door, breathing heavily, no game to be seen- but you stand up and smile just at the sight of her. Maybe she can let all of this go. Maybe all of you can.

“I found a fucking moose,” she pants.

Your mouth waters, and you walk over to her, your hands out apprehensively. She smiles so brightly at you it’s like all the hunger has fallen away, grabbing your hands and squeezing hard.

She stares into your eyes, looking over your face. and her smile grows just as your own makes it way onto your face.

“Wait…” Travis says. “Found? But didn’t kill?”

She looks away from you.

“No, no, it’s dead. It’s frozen in the surface of the lake,” she breathes. “I’m gonna need a lot of help to get it out of there.”

Everyone starts rushing around, grabbing shoes and jackets, ropes and whatever else to get food.

You almost let out a squeal when it sinks in.

You think back to that night. The sounds. The antlers. The feeling of being full, how good and right it all felt-

None of you will ever have to do that again if you can just survive this winter. And you’ll need that moose to do it.

“Hey, I thought the rule was no assistance,” Mari says, and Coach’s crutches bang against the floor as he walks over.

“Oh, my God, Mari, this is food.”

“If we can get this out, this moose will probably last us the rest of winter,” Natalie says, nodding.

Your eyes meet hers again.

“You did it,” you whisper, thinking of food, “God, Nat, you did it.”

“You ever doubted me?” she smiles.

“Misty,” Mari says as the other girl walks past, wrapped up tight, carrying an axe. “You literally made the rules. I’ll tell Lottie,” she says. accusingly, like Lottie could somehow bring down the wrath of the gods.

But she’s just a girl. You’re all just girls, left behind and fighting to stay alive.

“Go for it,” Misty says back. “Tell her I didn’t want us to fucking starve!”

And after grabbing your jacket, slipping on your boots, all of you file out the door, axes and ropes in hand, towards the lake. The moose. Towards the end of the hunger.

—-

It’s colder out on the lake. And even through the snow, you can’t help but feel like you’re constantly on the verge of slipping.

The sound of axes and hammers banging against the ice has turned into a small symphony, a little concert, and you pace around, trying to keep warm- knowing that too many people gathered around that one spot of ice won’t do any good.

Finally, it stops, and you can hear the sounds of ice splashing against water.

“We’re through,” Travis shouts, and Natalie hits the ice a few more times, as Misty and Crystal tie the rope around the antlers.

You watch as they tie it as tight as they can, but you can see the glazed over eyes of the moose, like a little tiny planet.

“Tie another knot,” you whisper, walking behind them, and Misty looks up and you before she looks back down towards the tied up antlers. She adds another knot.

Everyone is frantic and hungry, and finally, after more hitting, the ice breaking and breaking, Natalie shouts for everyone to grab the rope.

You look up towards the sky, then back down towards the antlers.

The rope is light in your hands, fraying, thin, but it will hold. That’s what everyone is whispering, that this will all work out, and you’ll get this moose, and you won’t be hungry anymore.

Finally, the moose slips free from the thick ice, falling down into the water, and the weight comes quickly.

Your arms burn, and everyone is shouting, and all you can think about is how much you stomach hurts.

Your feet dig into the snow, past it, until the soles of your converse are resting against slick ice.

But for a moment, it’s working. You’re lifting up the moose.

Misty is the first to fall.

Then, everyone else falters, and suddenly the rope is sliding out of your hands, and you gasp and pull away, falling down to press your burning hands into the snow.

A splash hits the water.

You hiss to yourself, looking at your hands, red from the rough rope, until you look up.

“Natalie!” you screech, throwing yourself forward and grabbing onto her, anything you can reach, frantic and sick because she’s all you have in the wilderness.

You told her you would die with her. But you won’t watch her die.

You’re not sure how it happens, but you manage to grab onto some part of her, frozen tears running down your face, and drag her up out of the water.

It’s takes a moment for the fear in your body to fall away. For your stomach to leap out of your throat, for your heart to beat a little less strongly.

And you realize she’s crying. Saying we needed it. We needed it.

And you have nothing to say to her. No comfort. No kind words. You can’t fix this, or even offer a solution.

There’s never anything you can do about the important things.

—-

“Your hair’s all messed up,” you whisper, grabbing a small strand and gently picking apart a knot half-formed at the bottom.

You can’t make that moose come back. You can’t make her feel any less guilty, but you can sit at the edge of the tub and get the knots out of her hair.

She doesn’t say anything, and you don’t expect her to, watching as she stares blankly in front of her.

You place your hand to her forehead, and she’s warmer now, not quite that startling ice cold she was when you had first helped her into the tub. You don’t say anything about the fact that she’s warming up. You know it will only hurt to hear it, knowing that she is warm, while that moose is freezing at the bottom of the lake. Frozen food that you can’t eat.

You sigh, and let your hand fall down to the lukewarm water.

“I’ll let you change,” you whisper, your hands curling around the edge of the tub, before you take a breath and stand up. When she speaks, you don’t turn around. Don’t even look at her in the reflection of the window.

“I wanted to do it for you,” she says. “You know? I… I just- just wanted you to be okay. I wanted to, like, save you… in some fucked up way, I guess.”

She laughs to herself, and you can’t do anything but make your way around the tub to the door, your footsteps creaking across the old floor boards.

You look over your shoulder, and after a moment, she looks up at you.

“You’ve already saved me, Natalie. You’ve already saved all of us.”

She scoffs.

“You dragged me out of the plane. You fed us during the summer. You saved Travis at Doomcoming.” She doesn’t say anything, going back to staring forward again, blankly. “Nat, I… I know what you’ve done for us.”

You think back to the lake, the sound of the splashing water, the feeling of something slipping away like that.

“I think you’re a pretty great savior.”

—-

taglist:

@sweetdayme4427 @dreaming-for-an-escape @peachydoki @happysparklingshadows @zhivaxo @maraudeerrs @karsonromanoff @onlyangel-444 @subastronaut

everything taglist:

@emilynissangtr

[kellanved-ammanas]

TF2 Drabbles: Scout/Pyro - Decorations

Summary: Perhaps something silly with Pyro and Scout drawing together! It could be more platonic or more romantic, I genuinely don't mind either way.

I didn't get enough winter/winter holiday themed requests so I took several from my normal list and made them themed so. Which in hindsight, I maybe should've just decided to do from the start since they've been sitting in my inbox for so long already.

~

“What do you mean we can’t get more decorations? The Christmas party is like our big thing before we all leave for like ages. We gotta decorate for it.” And Scout wasn’t going to admit it out loud but he quite liked decorating the common room for it with everyone willing to assist. It was fun.

Engie frowned at him as he finished dropping the last of the water logged, partially moldy cardboard boxes that had once contained all the base’s Christmas decorations in the garage’s trash bin. “Son, in case you somehow forgot with how gosh dang cold it is, we’re on top of a damn mountain currently. The drive down to the nearest town is four hours in good weather. Which it is currently but that’s still far too long to for any of us to want to put up with for something that ain’t needed. We went yesterday to stock up with enough food and supplies to last ‘til we all leave for holiday. You should’ve said something before then.”

Scout followed him back into the warmer part of the base because it was indeed quite cold. “We didn’t know everything was ruined yesterday.” It was just this morning they’d pulled the boxes out and found them and most of what was inside ruined. They’d search through most of it, looking for anything salvageable with almost not success.

Those boxes had been left to sit and rot in the leaky back corner of the storage area since they’d moved into this base several months ago. The base hadn’t been warm enough to allow the leak to drip so they’d all missed it at the time, resulting in their current predicament. “It’s not fair.”

Engie shrugged. “Sorry but that’s just how it is. We’ll have a real tree this year though so it ain’t all bad.”

“Yeah but a Christmas tree isn’t a proper Christmas tree unless it’s not a star and stuff on it.”

No response this time so after a few more seconds of no sign of Engie changing his mind, Scout headed off. Technically he could steal the car and go by himself. But while he did have some experience driving in snow, nothing like what was out there. And his reckless driving had gotten him banned from using the team van – which he’d never had any desire to fight because it was more work to drive anyway – and thus he hadn’t driven at all in over a year. So his chances on the road weren’t great. Respawn could snatch him up but it could do nothing to save him from the team’s wrath if he totaled their only form of transportation that wasn’t Engie’s two man truck. And he didn’t want to risk doing that to all of them anyway. Meaning he was stuck.

He did know someone who would commiserate with him though. Even if he hadn’t even tried to argue with Engie’s decree, Pyro had seemed just as disappointed as Scout, if not more so, when pulling out the boxes to find them ruined.

It took a bit of searching but he eventually found Pyro in his room. The door was unlocked, allowing Scout to just walk in.

Pyro was standing at his table, piling stuff into a box at the edge of it. Curious, Scout stayed quiet as he stepped closer, allowing him to see into the box before Pyro could spot him. … It was his art stuff. Mostly paints but pencils and markers too.

“Why you packing up your stuff?”

Pyro didn’t startle, indicating he’d heard Scout come in and hadn’t minded. “I’m putting it in a box so I can move it easier. It’s good you’re here though because I need some of your paper and pencils and maybe some of Spy’s stuff too and probably some scissors and glue too.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll help you gather stuff.” It’s not like Scout had anything better to do right now. “What you planning on making?”

“Christmas decorations. We don’t have any and can’t go buy any so I’m gonna make some. You want to help?”

“Oh, uh… yeah, sure. That’s a good idea actually.” It hadn’t even occurred to Scout as an alternative to make their own decorations. They wouldn’t be super durable or fancy but it’d be far better than nothing. And well, doing art with Pyro was always fun. Working on a big project like this together would likely be even more so.

[cassedyevihtt]

"THE SECRET'S THAT YOU KEEP"

Vanessa x Mike fnaf movie fanfic, slowburn romance vibe

In this fic they have a lot more time to get to inow each other from when they meet to when Vanessa spills her secrets abt afton and so on. ___________________________

Part 3 of 8: "someone tore her drawing apart so she ran away"

Updated everyday

This one is a longer episode guys✨

______________________________

"She is gone"

"Wait what? What do you mean, gone!?"

"No, she ran away"

"Ran away?? You guys are suppost to take care of her! How long since she disappeared??"

"30 minutes ago"

"Keep searching I'll be over there shortly"

Mike puts the phone on hold, he then scribbles in another number. "Vanessa?!"

"Hello, yes? Mike, what is it?"

"Abbie is gone!! She is missing" mike's voice had lost it's tired and steady self. His voice is uneven, shaking, as if he suffers from lack of air. There is a pause. Vanessa stares ahead. He couldn't have taken her, could he? "Mike , I'll get a party of five to help us search, me included, we'll find her, okay?" Her stonecold police voice turns softer, calming. "We'll find her." She promises. "When did she disappear?"

"Kindergarden called just now, she went missing 30 minutes ago." Mike informs between his uneven breathing. "And they still haven't been able to find her? Alright, I'll be there in 5 minutes"

Mike places the phone down. He burries his head in his hands. Images of his precious brother Garrett in the back of that car gets scurred out by Abbie's frighetend face in the back of that car instead of Garrett. The thought made him want to throw up. He grits his teeth and dries his tears. Vanessa will be there. He will be there. They'll find her. She'll be okay.

He drives to the kindergarden. He gets on sight on looks for Vanessa. She is talking to the kindergardener. "Last time you saw her?"

"When someone ruined her drawing. She said it was of her 'friends' and one of the kids tore it apart. I took the kid aside and Abbie ran off."

"Okay, you've done your fare share of searching so go get the drawing and contact me when you've found it. It might lead us to something" Vanessa instructs between her notes.

"Because images mean alot to children" the kindergardner says.

"Yes exactly" Vanessa nods. She packs her notes and walks over to Mike. "My guys have started searching. We'll be searching this area one more time as Abbie might come out if she hears your voice."

"O-okay, and you are sure that they'll be able to find her and call her down"

Vanessa throws him a glance. "She is in good hands"

And with this, they search. Behind every bush, around every tre. Inside every playhut. Vanessa takes a rest and brushes the back of her hand over her forehead. The kindergardener runs over to them. Her breath forms small clouds of fog as she runs. "This is what she drew" the woman holds the paper in front of Vanessa. Mike walks over, looks up at the sky, it'll sbow soon. He looks down at the drawing. Vanessa frowns. She sighs. The drawing is of 4 kids. A kid with bunny ears, a kid with a top hat, a kid with pigtails and one kid with a hook. Mike quickly looks up at Vanessa. The police officer looks at the kindergardener. "Thank you, now you should get inside. We'll take it from here. Finish up and go home" the kindergardener almost bows a little. "Thank you and much luck to both of you, Mike, please call when you've found her. I am so sorry for all this"

Mike closes his mouth and just nods. A thousand words could've been said but there was no time. As the Kindergardener walk away Mike jumps into Vanessa's car. She puts on the sirens and they drive fast as fuck through the town. Snow starts falling, mike feels his throught tie up. He looks at Vanessa. His head goes cold and a shiver sneaks it's way down his spine. Behind her determined face there is actual dread. Horror. Mike looks ahead and swallows. The sign of Freddy's pizzaria shows up behind the buildings.

They park and Mike jumps out of the care the moment it stops. Vanessa is right behind him. He gets his keys and they walk in. The place is as dark and uninviting as it is in the middle of the night.

Vanessa gives him a flashlight. "Don't turn anything on, don't make any noise" Mike frowns but nods. "I'll check the backrooms. You'll check the stage" Vanessa orders. Mike feels his sweaty hands grasp a bit tighter against his flashilight. He swallows silently and nods.

He silently runs towards the stage. Peeks behind the curtain. No bonnie. He swallows again. The light flickers as he shines it up at freddy. Mike shines the light around the animatronics. Nothing. He steps away from them and towards pirate's cove.

___________

Meanwhile: Vanessa

Vanessa finds her own set of keys and opens the closet the backroom with the birthday napkins and the springlock doll. A child's laugh. Her breath shivers as she tries to catch her breath. What if he took Abbie. How would she explain her loyalty to such a man. Bound by blood is never a valid excuse. Nothing is. Nothing will ever be. Something moves behind her. She looks around. Nothing. Her hand finds the handle of her gun. A shadow decorates the open door behind her. Bunny ears. She gasps. Her breathing spirals. She clentches her gun.

____________

Mike opens the curtains. The fox. The one kid that cut his arm. He looks up at the massive animatronic. And then down at the little girl with black curly hair that is silently chuckling up at the fox.

"Abbie!" Mike grabs the little girl and then gives her the most legendary hug in the whole world. He kisses her head. "You scared me, jesus christ you scared me" he mumbles and shakes. His voice is uneven. Behind them Vanessa comes running. Her distressed face melts into a smile. She just stops for a bit and looks at them. She dries a tear and sighs in relief. "We should probably get out of here" she mentions. "Hey Vanessa" Abbie smiles. "And I agree Foxy is tired now anyway. I'll come back soon" she smiles up at the big animatronic. It opens its eyepatch and does a little dance in response.

Mike takes Abbie's hand and turns around to see Bonnie towering behind Vanessa. He points at hime and Vanessa turns around. She shrugs. "Oh, Bonnie, it's okay. He's okay." Abbie nods hppily and waves at the big bunny. The bunny waves back. "Alright let's go" Mike drags her along and Vanessa walks behind them. She glances back at Bonnie. Before walking out of the building.

"No more running away like that" Mike kneels in front of Abbie in the parkinglot. "Promise me" Mike sighs and holds a bit tighter around Abbie's small round hands. "Okay mike". He stands up and holds her hand. Vanessa opens the car doors. "My apartment is closer we could go there if you'd like. I'll drive you home in the morning" She sits in front of the steering wheel and looks to her side. Abbie is safely half sleeping in the backseat. Mike sinks into the passenger seat. As if all his bones caves in. As he stares ahead he seems like the most worn out person on the earth. Tired. Hopeless. Vanessa sighs as she sets the car in gear. A small plan forms in her head as she sees the snow fall.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. I was still riding the high of buying our house. And we got a lot of stuff done. It felt good. Today was good.

I did not sleep good though. I woke up around 4 with a bad pain in my ribs. I was not having fun and falling back asleep was very very rough. I was able to eventually but it took forever.

When I woke up at 7 though I felt fine. I was happy to see James. I was in a good mood. James let me know that they went to the house to drop off some stuff. And discovered that while we were given 4 keys, 3 of them were all for the back door and I had the only front door one. This is hilarious. We will have to get more front door ones made ASAP. In the meantime James just let themselves in the backdoor and everything was just fine.

I got myself together and we left a little early. We left together. And I had a nice drive to camp. There wasn't any traffic on my drive, but going the opposite way I saw 3 different fender benders that were causing so much traffic. It was for miles.

I got to camp before 8. And it was cold but not as cold as yesterday. I was in a good mood.

I had some stuff to do this morning. I wanted to do my drawing for the day but that was all I would get done. Because pretty quickly I was working on documenting things bought for the house and making a more solid plan for what ones furniture were buying and a few other things. Just wanting to go at it with the best data and staying in budget. And so far so good.

I decided I would put together the desk Alexi got from IKEA yesterday. And that was going really well. Until I got to the last steps.

When everyone else came in I was putting the last screws in but was struggling because it wasn't 100% lining up and so Alexi and Heather were trying to help hold it but it wasn't working. And then it was missing a plastic triangle that holds the desk up to be a standing desk.

So I was like. Okay problem solved. And went to turn it over and that's when we realized that the entire top of the table was scratched and gouged? What? Did I do that?? How??? I hadn't looked at the top when I opened the box. I just put it on the floor. But it was so extensively scratched that Alexi didn't think it was possible that I did it by accident. And so we think it may have been a return that was our back in the floor? It was so weird. And I was so upset.

But Sarah took over and got customer service on the computer they are giving us a new table, and letting us keep the scratched one. Sarah was such a rockstar. I really appreciated her handling that because I was so upset.

Since she did that I took over creating labels to send letters to Europe for our camp America staff. I had to go through a bunch of very unfamiliar addresses. But I was able to collect everything and learned to create labels and how to print them. New skill unlocked.

Me and Sarah moved the scratched desk up to the attic and found that one of the buck heads had fallen down. So we moved that back to a better spot. Decided he was the guard dog of the attic. We were just in a little bit of a silly mood.

Heather asked us if we could go set up some tables and chairs over at the lodge for when John the consultant was coming. No problem. So we walked across the feild. I love walking through the snow. It's slightly frozen on top so it's really crunchy. And we talked about paint and colors. Specifically haint blue. And how it's supposed to keep spiders away. I think it would be nice to use that color somewhere in the house.

I have paint on the mind for sure. Later this evening me and James would discuss painting. And specifically we realized that the entire house is grey. Including the ceilings. I am mostly sure that it is actually just primer because of the matte texture and how easily it scuffs. So we are going to have to do a lot of painting sooner rather then later. Maybe we will use haint blue somewhere.

After we finished setting up the tables and chairs and things we went back to the office for lunch. I read some of my book. Learned about cowboys and how hobbling a horse is a way of breaking them. Which lead to me and Heather talking about how my highschool principal broke wild horses as a young man. And now he got his jaw broken by one of them and that story was wild. Especially since he told it to us in Bible class.

I was telling Heather all about the weird stuff at my school. And just the stuff I had to unlearn or relearn because we weren't really socialized to people outside the church. But I don't really have many shocking moments learning that something was weird anymore. It's been a few years since I have had to deal with that.

Eventually it was time to go to the lodge for the meeting. And it was a long meeting. I won't rehash it completely but I got a little frustrated at times. And I don't want Alexi to think that I don't love camp, because I do! So much! But I also want camp to be better and when we just talk about it but we aren't actually doing anything but talking it makes me feel crazy. I don't want to talk broad, I want specifics, I want answers and direction! I got some kudos about all the program writing I had done but I still felt like no one was saying what exactly we were doing. And I get it but also it's incredibly frustrating for me when I can see some answers. Ugh.

Chris was in this meeting too. And I think between Alexi talking about best case scenarios and Chris talking about the worst case I was just a little over frustrated. I really hope I didn't come off as a brat but I was pushing for answers pretty hard. And at least tomorrow I have some direction for working on village programing.

John is very inspirational but I think the office wants him to be more then that and I don't think that's realistic. He's there to give them a push but they have to be the ones to do it. And I can only write so much. Like I don't care if we use exactly what I've made, it won't hurt my feelings, but at least I've done something and we aren't working from nothing or just imagining. I have made something tangible. And I hope that helps push everyone else forward.

We finished up the meeting and I packed up the screens and books we used to prop up John's projector. I chatted with everyone for a few minutes. But it was time for me to go.

I trudged across the field and stopped at the office. I got my tablet and my lunch bag. My first package of my Amazon order came and that was exciting. I chatted with Sarah for a few minutes but she had a tour to give. So I was off and heading home.

I had a stop at amazing glaze first to get me and Callie's bowls and I was so so happy with how they came out. They look amazing. I am so thrilled with my room and I think this might be my favorite piece. Even more then my ducks and I love my ducks.

After I sent pictures to Callie I went home for real..I was so happy to see James. I texted them and let them know I was home so they could bring some stuff done to start packing the car.

We brought a few boxes and got as much in the car as we could. I decided to bring some toilet paper, tissues, and paper towels to have over there. And then we headed to our new house!

The street was not as dark as it had been that one night. There are actually street lights and each house has a light so we are doing good there. And I was so happy to walk around the house. I can be a little more critical now. Some of the trim paint is messy on baseboards. The vinal flooring they referred to as luxury is. Fine. But the biggest issue I have noticed is the colors of the walls and ceilings.

It's grey. It's all grey. And like I said earlier I think it's just primer? Painting the ceilings was not in the plan. Painting walls sure, but ceilings is a lot of work. It's not impossible but it will take some planning and I am really hoping we can get it done sooner rather then later so we don't have to cover all of our belongings. I will have to look into that this weekend or this upcoming week.

While we were at the house, after we got all of the stuff inside I decided to build the toilet paper storage I bought. It's so cute. It was a little difficult to put together but that's okay. James helped. And it felt good that we have made something just for this house. That felt. Really good.

We would also change out some of the knobs in the kitchen. And then I had some weird hinged ones I put in the bathroom. We would do a ton of measuring for the living room and trying to make some plans for the walls. I am excited to figure out how to do new types of diy work and I'm just so excited. Even if I'm not looking forward to painting the ceilings.

After we had done everything we thought we could for the evening we would gather ourselves and went to dinner.

We decided to go to five guys. And that was fun. I showed James my lists and we discussed deligating tasks. James was being so sweet. We were laughing about the soda machine being in Spanish. It was just so lovely. I love my husband so much.

We would soon go home. And I became exhausted as soon as we got home. I would shake off the brain tired but I just wanted to get in bed. I would first add some new water to my tanks and kiss Sweetp. And then got in bed to be cuddly.

Our landlady Tina called that a new oven is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. And we were finally able to break the news. We bought a house. And she was so excited for us. So the plan is to be out of here at the end of February and we have a reference for possibly Julien and his roommate moving in. She said she is always excited when her tenants buy something permanent and I had been so nervous about telling her. Because she's always so lovely to us. So I'm just so glad she reacted so positively.

And now I am just very ready to sleep. I am going to grab a shower and brush my teeth and get ready for sleep.

I don't know if I need to go to camp tomorrow. It's supposed to snow overnight and throughout the day tomorrow. So we will see what the day holds. If I'm working at home or what. But I think it will still be a lovely day.

I hope you all have a great night. I love you all. Sleep good!

[thespianinthebackcorner]

We haven't heard shit about Alice's husband but I designed him anyway

let me explain myself.

I don't usually do fandesigns (god knows I'm bad at drawing) but I think too much and probably shouldn't be applying our-world genetics to Teyvat. Even so, I've had the thought for a while that by the rules of modern genetics, Klee's father would need to have very pale hair and eyes for Alice's traits to be genetic, since it's semi-canon that Klee is basically a small version of her mother. So Alice's husband would have to be an albino, or something very close to that. Then I reread Alice's speech from the original Golden Apple Archipelago event, and started thinking what if Alice's family were allegories/connected to the four seasons somehow. Klee is summer, obviously, Alice is spring since she gives life and is explosively enthusiastic, also very double-sided which if you've ever seen a spring storm develop in five seconds flat you'll know what I mean with that. Albedo is autumn because he's (a.) Born in autumn for them so I don't have a choice and (b.) Sits in between warm and cold personality-wise and can easily switch between the two, sometimes he's kind sometimes he's not but he tends to lean towards the colder side by default. So that would leave Alice's husband for winter and so guess what I did? I went full fantasy mode and made him a snow spirit of some sort. Snezhnayan dad ig. It would fit ngl a multicultural family suits them.

So I grabbed a base of Genshin's tall male model (thanks to @/moinii on Hoyolab for the base, very useful) and designed him myself. Paragraph post incoming because I must explain my every action like a criminal whenever I do these

it's very much a beta design so if there's any design suggestions I'll be happy to put them in.

For reference these are his shoes since his coat covers most of them.

My colour palette:

I explained earlier that I came up with the idea for him to be a Snezhnayan snow spirit, fitting in with the winter aspect of the family's season-based theming that I came up with out of nowhere. Because of that he doesn't need a Vision (and thank god for that I don't want to draw one.) I also referenced a previous idea I had that he'd look closer to Albedo, being a sort of visual missing link between the family- as in, when all four of them are there, you can actually kind of tell that they're family.

I decided to try and look for any Slavic or Russian snow spirit mythology to see if I couldn't find a base. Surprisingly, there weren't many (probably because they had more focus on the harvest and summer seasons like most mythologies do.) The best i could find was the Mythology Wiki page for an entity known as the Zimadevushka, which from the description is an entity that uses attraction to lure people into the snow. While I wouldn't say they're the same as a Succubus, they're fairly similar in respects to their ability to shapeshift to fit someone's tastes. While Zimadevushka are usually female, there is a male version known as Zimamalchik, so that's what I based this fandesign off of. That said, I'm being tentative with this as I can't seem to find any other resources for this particular entity.

the Cicin wings were a personal choice. I wanted his back to be more interesting, and that's what I chose- despite the fact that he wouldn't nessecary need them, per se.

I found images online of 16th century Russian mens outfits and used the heavy coats as a basis for this. Although he is a Mondstadter, I wanted this to be his true form, what he looks like without any illusions. Although the original idea was more of a snowstorm spirit, I'm kinda attached to the idea of him being a Zimamalchik, since there's something romantic about an entity using love to lure others in being lured away from home by someone they themselves have fallen for.

For the brushes, I did this on Ibispaint, and while it was mostly just regular hard pen, (sizes 2.3 and 4.1 for the lineart) I used a watercolour pen for the shoes to try and convey the fact that they're furry shoes, and for the rings at the top of his shoes and the ends of his sleeves I used a crayon brush. The snowflakes I just used one of the stamp brushes, because I'm not a coward and take what I can get. His hair was modeled off my siblings' (shoutout Leo) because I wanted him to have fluffy hair. I didn't shade except for the highlights n stuff in the eyes because I wanted this to just be his base colours. And also because it took a day just to do the draft sketch so I wasn't gonna fuck around with the lineart and colour. The glasses were... Just because. I think he's cute with glasses. He's not jacked, just wearing a thick coat 😂

But yeah, my image of Alice's husband has been shaped by years of headcanons to try and make up for the empty space he's left in canon. To me he's a really nice guy who's a mediator. He was probably good friends with Ivanovna. My #1 headcanon for him is that he has more of a connection to Albedo than Alice does, but less so to Klee (although he'd gladly die for them both anyway.) While he's still sentimental about Snezhnaya, he's happy living in Mondstadt, especially since there he can get out of being drafted into the Fatui. While Alice is more connected to humanity, he's less so, which helps since he's taken up the mantle of a literal father figure for Albedo. 🤍 I realise he's not a talked about character at all but if anyone does have heacanons (or suggestions for design edits lmao) do tell!!! I can't be the only one thinking about this man can i

[airconditioner-tm]

Nobody wants to know :short story

All I could feel were sticks and thorns digging into my back. Above me there was blue. I stood up feeling ever increasing pain in my legs. I examined the scratches and bruises on them and my torn shirt. I called Hanna, because she was the last person I remember. Eventually I gave up. I saw a crossarm in the direction of the sun, so I walked towards it, shielding my eyes from the glaring sun.

Standing bare foot on my front porch, I opened the door. I did not feel like showering or changing yet, so I turned on the tv and flopped onto the couch. Flipping through the channels I saw a news report from our town. I could tell because they always put this ugly logo in the top corner of the screen.

"-was brought to the morgue and is now being autopsied let's talk to the fa- “I was about the flick away, until I caught a glimpse of Hannas mom. Well Hannas entire family, but her mom stud out the most, because she always wore these crazy up dos. Hanna right I should call her, but then an image flashed onto the screen of the forest floor.” we won't stop searching until we find her killer and they rot in prison forever.”

So, Hannas is dead, she hasn't run away, she didn't forget to call me she's dead, cold, and dead.

She was murdered last night, Nov 12th. Her body was found in the forest, not too far away from where I woke up, by a lady on her morning jog.

That night the entire town was in disarray, since Hanna was kind of the town sweetheart. They held a short wake for her. I considered going but decided a sea of her dad’s political opponents feigning empathy wasn’t the right way to mourn her. I did join the townspeople when they all ran into the forest looking for the crime scene. The police tried to stop us, but we marched like we were on a witch-hunt. We found the crime scene where her corpse lay before. I saw a scrap of my shirt; evidence must have missed it.I picked it up and stuffed it in my pocket.

In the aftermath the police had presented a few suspects, Jasson her boyfriend, he sucks but definitely not a murderer. Another was that her father did it, to get sympathy votes. The most widely accepted theory was, that she was killed by an opportunist, a stranger.

First, I looked at the evidence available in news reports and articles, it was about as useful as an umbrella in the sun. I tried to talk to Hannas family. They said they didn't want to talk about Hanna, that they wanted to move on and proceed to slam the door in my face. I would have to get the videos of their interrogation. the police wouldn't give them to me repeating “the case is closed leave “as they had many times before.

I got the tapes. I didn’t bother picking the broken glass out of my hands or checking if the police had followed me. I went straight to my Couche and turned on the tv. It was 9 hours of recording, all in the same room with the same investigator. I was enthralled watching them. It was so obvious; it was like they were taunting the investigator proud of their crime. I still need something more to show everyone their guilt prof no one could dismiss.

I stood in the snow outside Hannas's house. This is where the prof laid; I knew it more than I knew my own mind. Everything sat the way it always sat. Her favorite cat plushie longed on her floral duvet. we made it together in 5th grade. She loved it even with its barley hanging on button eyes and crooked smile. All of the Fotos of us where neatly hung on the wall above her bed. I ransacked her room rummaging through every shelf draw and cupboard. I found nothing, not a single piece of proof. I stood opposite the cat plush. It smiled at me, grinned at me, mocked me. When I grabbed it felt warm, I dug my overgrown nails into the fur and ripped it. There was blood when I ripped it, it lay on my hands it was all over me like when I woke up that morning in the forest but once again it wasn't my own.

This is really short because there was a 750 word limit

Feel free to give me some advice

[jodilin65]

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 1994 I just got off the phone talking to Andy. Sure enough, the day he arrived the weather took a turn for the worst. Up till his arrival, the weather had been in the 50s. He said he was freezing the whole time and it never got up above 32º. He said all he could think about was me laughing at him.

He saw his family and said Linda’s daughter Samantha was cute which surprised him, cuz he too, thinks babies are ugly. I agree. They all look the same, too.

He said he just knows his 6-year-old nephew Brian’s going to be gay. Maybe so, cuz when Lisa was a baby I always felt she’d be into music, and I was right. Music and gayness run in families.

He stood at Mary’s and she, Adam and Adam’s best friend Mona from San Francisco and he went to dinner to celebrate Adam’s birthday. This girl Mona apparently moved back and is a topless dancer in Springfield. And is making way more than I did here. Andy says she’s blond with big tits, though, so maybe that’s why. I also think it’s cuz there are fewer topless bars in Springfield than there are in Phoenix. Andy, Adam, and 4 others went to a gay bar in Hartford and were shocked to see it was packed with wall-to-wall people. There he met up with an old lust object he met 15 years ago who wants to get back together with him. Andy said he would’ve if he lived there. The funniest part of it was when they left the bar after 5 hours. When he came out of the bar it was snowing really hard and all the cars were covered. Before that, when Mary came to wake him up at noon, she came into his room and said, “Look. I’ve got something to show you.” She pulled up the shade and there was a dusting of snow. He said he was like - oh my God! When he returned to Adam’s in Adam’s car, he had to do something he swore he’d never do again - clean snow off of a car. He had driven his father’s car over there.

He said no one bad-mouthed me. His mom said I turned out to be a beautiful girl and remembers when I was chunky. They asked if Tom and I were going to have a kid. Judy said she was glad I got to see Goldie and Al and said she always liked them.

He said he called Nervous and he actually talked to him. He wanted to go over and take a picture of him and Crystal, but he wouldn’t let him.

He slept from 4 AM to noon while he was there.

Well, that’s all for now. In a half-hour, I’m going to watch a movie I taped.

Later…

I watched a couple of movies I taped. They were so-so.

I tested Tom’s PrintBMP programs for bugs. So far, so good. I printed out 2” pictures all the way up to 11”. I printed out Piggy, Norah, and drawings I did of Linda and Gloria, as well as a couple off the top of my head.

I wallpapered the back wall of Piggy’s cage by taping pictures on from the outside facing in. One of Piggy, 2 of Norah, 2 Linda drawings and 3 Gloria drawings.

Tom got that envelope yesterday from my parents. It was a Phoenix Suns T-shirt. He really liked it as he really likes basketball.

I chatted with my dad earlier. I called Tammy too, who had a friend over at the time.

Another funny thing Andy said was how he missed his plane because he had to take a shit. He was delayed for two hours.

It’s not as cold here as it is in the east, but I wish it was in the 80s here like it is in Florida. It’s pretty chilly out there right now, but where my parents are you can lie out in the sun and go swimming. The pool temperature is 50º.

What should I do now? I guess I’ll pump in a little bit of fresh air and go start typing another document for Tom.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1994 First I’ll go into detail about making the earrings, then into what Marjorie gave us. The earring kit came with 4 strips of soft metallic plastic. One strip makes 4 pairs. It also had the mold and the backings and parts. What you do is cut a strip in half and put them in a pot of hot water with a few drops of cooking oil so they don’t stick. Then, when they get soft and flimsy you take them out and press them into the earring mold. Then you set it in cold water for a couple of minutes, then take them out and trim off excess plastic on the outside of the mold and remove the mold. The last part’s easy. You peel off a dot over the adhesive, push the backing down into it and pull it out with its adhesive on it. Then you stick it wherever you want on the back of the earring, put the post on, and they’re ready to wear. I have a pink one, a green one, one with light pastel colors and one with darker colors. I just had a pair on but I had to take them off as they were irritating me. I can’t wear fake stuff in my ears.

Marjorie’s sister Margaret sent us a Christmas card and she also wished me a happy Chanukah. She lives in San Diego. She also gave us some cookies she made, some material and scissors that are great for cutting material. Now I can keep an extra pair in my room. We had one in the back room, one in the kitchen and one in the living room. I had a pair in my room, but they were quite little. The ones that were in the kitchen now live in my room and the ones Marjorie gave us are in the kitchen.

Later…

The good news is that I cut 30 square foot pieces of material and sewed them into 5 strips of 6. Then, I connected 2 of those strips side by side. The bad news is that when I went to attach the third strip, I got it backward, with the backside of the material facing the wrong way. Tomorrow, or whenever, I have to take the seam ripper and rip it off and put it right side up. Then hitch on the remaining 2 strips and hope I don’t fuck that up. Lastly, I’ll hem the 4 edges and hope to hell I’ve made a fairly decent quilt.

I have about 11 different patterns. The 7 Marjorie gave us, a sheet, an old dress, and those 2 from the material we got to make the 2 throw pillows that are on the living room couch.

Tonight there’s to be a movie on called Bionic Ever After. At least, I think that’s what it’s called. Lindsay Wagner and Lee Majors reunite to get married, I guess.

Tom says there’s also some bionic quiz on Prodigy, too. I’ll have to check that out in a little while.

We ordered stuff at dirt-cheap prices from a catalog. He got tools and I got Velcro sneakers, a nightie, and a few other things too, which I can’t remember.

Later…

I just finished typing up 25 and now it’s printing out. The next one (26) should go fast. It’s a 130-pager, but I only need to type up about 94 pages. The rest is letters or convos from tapes that I copied in.

As tired as I am I have to stay up till 2:00 to take Andy’s last tape out and put it with the rest of them by the door, even though Tom would gladly do it.

Tom’s going to tape the movie I mentioned earlier in his room and I’m going to tape a movie in the living room.

I let Andy know we’ll both be asleep, so he’ll use his key to let himself in quietly.

Tom left about an hour ago to go take his parents to the racetrack. Barely 5 minutes after he left Marge called saying Dad’s stomach was bothering him, but that maybe it’d be OK by the time he got there. I thanked her for the stuff, too. I guess he’s feeling better cuz Tom hasn’t returned. Maybe he’s over there chatting. I know how much they all like to talk.

Well, now I’m going to go check the printer. My stuff should be done printing any minute.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 1994 Wow! Only 8 more days to go! Can’t wait to get it over with and get on with life in stereo.

Last night at sundown was the beginning of Chanukah. I never lit the candles since being on my own and we doubt my parents would’ve sent the menorah, candles, and that plate if I weren’t married. Last night, or afternoon, I should say, I lit the candles. It was fun and interesting. Especially for Tom as this is all new to him.

I’m sure my parents tried to call, but I was in bed and Tom had the ringer off to do computer work. I talked to Tammy and Bill. Tammy said she appreciated the gifts. I’m glad she did.

I finished the Tammy and Sarah documents yesterday. And Shauna’s, too.

Yesterday morning Tom swept out the garage and I took all the trash out of his car. Tons of it.

Shortly after Tom got up, we screwed around. We experimented with different positions. It was fun and it’s getting easier.

Then, we went to a bookstore and an art store. He got a computer book and I got 2 journals. In the art store, I got these pens, plaster of Paris to mold figurines, and an earring-making kit. We made all 4 earrings in the kit. They came out really cool looking and they’re not hard at all to make. I’ll expand much more on it tomorrow.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1994 I just checked Andy’s messages for the first time since he’s been gone. He’s got 26. The bulk of them is from an ex-coworker. I think that’s who it is. A few calls from the ad he placed. One sounded promising, one a complete ditz, and the other a slut. The dirty old man type. Lots of hang-ups too, that are probably ad-related. I used to get that a lot when I placed ads back east.

I finally did get around to writing Alex a letter. Also to Bob, Tammy and my parents. I wrote them to give my wrist a break from all the typing I did.

Several months ago, Tom printed out pictures for me to draw and I did, so I turned it into stationery.

I’d also like to get that V-shaped keyboard they make. It really should decrease wrist strain. I added a few more things to the ‘to do’ and ‘to get’ lists.

I got a letter from Bob today. I found it ironic that he said he expects us to have a kid by November 26, 1995. Why? Cuz I had feelings about November, Tom said he thought it’d be the end of ‘95 or the beginning of ‘96 and that most people in his family are born in the winter or summer. On the other hand, that means getting pregnant around March. That’s awfully fast for a DES daughter, even if after the surgery he came like there was no tomorrow. Seeing is believing for me, though. The other day we were talking about not always getting something you wanted. Whether it’s out of your control or you’re waiting. Like when Tom said the reason I’m not pregnant is cuz we agreed to wait. When he said that, that deepened my belief that he could’ve cum since day one, but is waiting for when we are ready. With all that’s gone on, though, plus my surgery, I’m very glad we waited. However, if he doesn’t cum in time after surgery, I’m going to think two things: That God doesn’t want me to have a kid and that there’s something wrong with him, but his ego or manhood won’t allow him to say so and go talk to a doctor about it. No, I don’t think I’d think he didn’t want a kid unless he told me so and he’s told me he does want one.

We’ve had good talks and he gives good advice. He brought up a very good point about why we don’t have tapes of me singing. Besides blocks, I’ve got in my head due to those bullshit bands back east and Scott, he said I worry too much about the end of things which prevents or makes it hard for me to start things. Yeah, it’s true that I’d sit there and ask myself what I’d do with the money, for example, whether I made a little or millions.

I’ve often told myself to bring back the music. Sing more, play the guitar and keyboards, but then I ask myself, “What for?” The answer should’ve been, “Cuz it’s what I like to do.” I wish I had the same attitude about it as I do with writing these journals and drawing. I do it cuz I like it. I never think of the end, and doing these things serves no purpose.

Tom sure was also right when he mentioned how I never thought drawing on paper would lead to me drawing on walls. Very true. I mentioned this to Tammy and my parents, too.

Later…

I talked to Mom real quick yesterday who said she couldn’t really use the crayon can, it was childish, and if she found a child she’d give it to them. Most people would’ve been like, fine! Fuck you then. But I appreciate her honesty and this way I know never to send anything like it again. Just like when they used to send me grandma clothes. I’d send them back, rather than let them sit here and go to waste. I’m not shocked as she is “too grown up,” but a part of me is shocked as she has her own set of Mickey Mouse T-shirts, stuffed animals, etc. I believe you’re never too old for anything. I forgot to say this in my letter to my parents, but I think it’d be best if we told each other what we want for birthdays and holidays.

I haven’t sent Scott anything for about a year, and I know he’s long since moved, so his father’s getting two Bob letters. I know Scott will hear all about it. I wrote his dad’s address as the return address, too, with no postage and I’m having Andy send it. This way the mailman won’t see there’s no stamp on it, as he picks it up from here, and toss it back in the mail slot. I doubt he’d do that even if he did notice that there wasn’t any postage, but this way I don’t have to worry.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1994 I was trying to decide if I should make a period chart for 1995 on the computer or do one myself. Well, I came up with an even better idea. Journals 36 to 40 and 52 and letter books have every other page blank for the most part cuz I glued in pages and wrote stuff not back to back. In 52, 100% of it has every other page blank. I’ll use a page for each year. I just wrote up the 1995 period chart. It’s a bit sloppy, but it’ll work. I may or may not use all blank pages in all books for letters. That’d take forever to fill up. There could be a few hundred of those. Tonight I typed up the Shauna doc and began 25.

I hope Andy doesn’t kill me for forgetting to record his shows in SP today. At least they did get taped, but hopefully these two soaps will be the most boring of all.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1994 I just finished typing 26.

Tom and I had a steak for our Turkey Day dinner.

My parents called and we chatted about our visit with Goldie and Al.

Ma asked me about the picture she sent since I didn’t write about it. I told her that it wasn’t until right after I finished their letter that I got the message behind it and read it. Tom and I were right. Even though the girl in the picture had brown hair that was only medium length, she reminded them of me. She said they got it in a gallery.

They said they went over to Marty & Ruth’s for dinner. Better them than me. Or us.

She said to tell Tom to look for a brown envelope. I asked Dad to tell me what it is and that I wouldn’t tell (I really wouldn’t), but he wouldn’t tell.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 1994 Dinner tonight with Goldie and Al was great. Tom was impressed with them and he enjoyed himself, too. Goldie and Al looked very happy. They didn’t look as big as I thought they might, and I don’t remember them being so short.

I could tell they were judging me for who I was today. Not in the past. I told Tom they were always good to me, never gossiped or bad-mouthed people.

Dinner was their treat and pretty good. I got eggplant and Tom got lasagna.

They told me more about their retirement plans. They had once stayed on the beachfront where my folks used to live for $1,800 a month! I guess my folks were paying $800 a month. Wow! They got a 3-month lease on an apartment in Las Vegas.

They showed me pictures of Aaron and Noah, their wives, and their kids. Of course, I’d never say this to them, but they didn’t look too great. Their wives were so ugly and looked like typical moms. I brought our wedding pictures, some of me at the two apartment complexes I lived at here, and those pictures of Tammy and Noah going to Tammy’s prom.

If anything shocked them, it was how happy I’ve become and that I’m not fat anymore.

I never could remember how they met, so they told me that they lived next to my folks in Springfield on Willowbrook Dr. They left Springfield in 1966 and they hate Springfield too, and understand how shitty it is there.

Goldie said Ma was always a night person. Really? I don’t remember that. I know she’d be up till 11 PM - 1 AM, usually, and sometimes slept till noon on weekends. She was never up, though, that I knew of at 2:00 - 4:00 AM.

We were laughing at how Goldie was going to say to Ma, “Ha-ha. I got to meet your son-in-law first!”

They are quite happy for me about my ear surgery and are going to call me a few days after the surgery to see how it went.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1994 Just a very quick rundown on things cuz I’m about ready for bed. I made a mistake in saying Andy arrived in CT at 7:00 our time. He arrived at 7:00 their time.

Al called. They said it’ll be easier if we could meet them at the Olive Garden restaurant in Sun City. It’s about a 45-minute drive, but it’s worth it. We’ll be there at 6:30. Al said he was going to bring some pictures and so am I. Our wedding pictures, pictures of me at the VV & CC, and something else I’m sure they least expect. Their son Noah went to Tam’s prom with her and I have pictures of this. They were outside of the house we had on Berkeley Dr. in Longmeadow. I was in one of the shots all bandaged up after ear surgery. They oughta get a kick out of it, but I’ll expand more on that and other stuff tomorrow.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1994 Andy came over, but not for long as he has to get up at 8 AM. His plane leaves at 10 AM and he'll arrive in Hartford at 7 PM. His layover in Washington D.C. is an hour, so it'll be a 9-hour ordeal for him. Yuck! I sure as hell don't envy him. I called Prodigy while he was here and it finally does look like it's cooling way down there. It may even snow. The satellite showed flurries into New York and Vermont. The humidity's 92%. No thanks. I don't miss that shit.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1994 After I got up today, we went over to Mary’s to check out that vanity table and mirror. I like it but don’t know when it’ll be brought here. It has 6 small drawers and a stool. It’s white with speckles and is rather old, but not totally dumpy. It’ll be great for makeup, and I do intend to fix it up.

We changed Piggy’s cage today.

I’ve also got about 6-7 Nintendo games for Tammy and others that I’ll mail with the crayon cans I made. We’ll still put together a disk of games at some point.

Later…

Andy will be here anytime between 9 PM - 1 AM. He leaves tomorrow and he’ll be back on the 29th. He’s going to give me tapes to tape his soaps on. I also have things to show him, like new wall art and clothes. I’ll give him the 16 or so no-postage-necessary envelopes I have, too. I was going to mail him his Chanukah card, but I may as well give it to him tonight.

I got a letter from Bob today.

We went to Christown Mall earlier where I got two new lotion fragrances at Potions & Lotions. I got China Musk and April Rain. I also got some Chinese food.

Now, you’ll never believe who called me about coming to see us Wednesday. Goldie and Al! I’m so psyched! Apparently, they’re out visiting Al’s sister in Sun City. They’re also taking a couple of months as a vacation. They stopped to see someone in Las Cruces, New Mexico, have an apartment in Vegas, but still has a house in Milford, MA.

She said she was thrilled to “hear” about my ear, can’t wait to hug me, meet Tom, and talk with us. She’ll be calling at 5:30 Wednesday and I’m really looking forward to seeing them. So is Tom.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 1994 I’m not quite ready to go to bed yet, so I just thought I’d write up on some of the things we’ve got planned during his days off. We’re going to go over to his sister Mary’s house to check out a vanity table she has sometime soon. We’re going to change Piggy’s cage. We’re going to put together that disk of games to send to Tammy and go to the post office to mail off everyone’s presents.

At some point, maybe Monday, Andy will be stopping over. I have some things to show him and he’s got to give me tapes so I can tape his soaps.

Tom’s going to go food shopping very early in the morning before I get up.

The other day I got a booklet in the mail with perfume samples. You know, the kind you peel open and rub onto yourself. Instead of rubbing it on me, to spare my allergies, I rubbed it on a few book covers. The back of this one, the next one, and a few old ones.

In about a month or a month and a half, it’ll be time to go journal shopping once again. Tom said he always figured that someday he’d read my journals, that it was bound to happen. No way! What an embarrassing thought. After I’m dead is one thing, but not while I’m alive.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1994 I finished typing up computer notes and tips from Tom’s computer magazines. I use different names for different documents. I’ve already used Norah, Kate, Farrah and Jaclyn. Next, I’ll use Linda, Gloria, and other people I like, then maybe names in our families. You can only use up to 8 characters, so Nickolena will have to be Nicolena. Here are some of the names I’ll use for future documents. Gloria, Linda, Maria, Lamaris, Shauna, Saundra, Lisa, Becky, Sarah, Tammy, Bill, Larry, Arthur, Dureen, Nicolena, Ray, Evie, Marjorie, David and Steven.

Later…

In a little while I’m going to go watch some shows I taped. I asked Tom to circle the page number in the index of magazines he wants to be typed and he did so in about 8 magazines. I have my work cut out for me, but I don’t mind and it’s fun. There’s going to be a total of 25 files and so far, I’ve already done 2. He picked out 5 more names, Mary, Wendy, Diane, Eileen and Lolita. I did Gloria and Bill and now I’m working on Marjorie. Bill, Marjorie and Saundra were all 1 page, but all the others are 2 to 3 and there’ll be an occasional 4.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1994 I got my parents' package today. It was a huge one. Ma wrapped my birthday presents in flowered paper, my Chanukah presents in Chanukah paper and Tom’s Christmas presents in Christmas paper.

It was funny to see we sent each other the same Chanukah cards. I mailed out theirs and Tammy’s today.

Tom got a Phoenix Sun cap. He’s got a matching sweatshirt from his parents to go with it. Soap, deodorant, and cologne for Tom. He also got this really cool thing that’s in the shape of a ball, filled with liquid with a boat in it and a clock. We both got matching blue mugs, but of course, he doesn’t drink coffee or tea, but he sometimes drinks hot chocolate. There was a cookbook, chocolate candies, orange jellybeans, 2 rose candles, and a menorah with candles to go with it. A picture of a girl that looks great hung over the girl I drew in my wall mural and 2 calendar booklets for 1995. A thing you hang in the kitchen that’s hard to describe. It looks like beans and corn and stuff like that. A window-clinger, not a sticker, of a menorah, and dreidels. I stuck those in the garage door where only we can see them. There are too many hate groups out there. Three small magnetic picture frames. All my niece’s pictures were too big, so Gloria’s living in them. Two palm-sized balls with bells in them. They’re really pretty too, with gold and other colors with panda bears. Three skirts that fit perfectly. They’re just below the knee, but sexy and sophisticated. They’re all solid colors of peach, white and black. Another one of those skort outfits that’s flowered. The thing’s humongous on me, so I’ll have to shrink it and wear a tank top under it. A 50-inch windsock of a cow that even has a little cowbell on it that I put on the end of the clothesline. On the other end of the clothesline, I put the bird feeder with the bunny in it. A wind chime of a cat and 3 hearts. I put that on the patio.

It’s nice to be able to have a big, private yard to use these things.

Lastly, a drawing I did that was put on a plate when I was maybe in the 1st grade. Gross! Tom says it’s a wonderful keepsake. Ma said that, too. She enclosed a note saying it was a wonderful keepsake she enjoyed for years, but now it’s for me.

I just typed them a letter and that’s all for now. Now, I’m going to go watch TV and Andy will probably call at some point.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 1994 Soon, I’ll be going to bed. I just thought I’d quickly update on stuff first. Today I finished typing 23. I took Norah’s story and combined it with my journals, so counting that, I have 36 typed up that total 356 pages.

Yesterday when we screwed around, we didn’t use a rubber. Tom feels that at some point in ‘95 I’ll be pregnant. Sounds nice, despite my fears and doubts about it, and I hope that we’re both about to make one if you know what I mean.

I called Dad today and he asked how Tom and Andy are and said they don’t sell live animals. They’re flags with all kinds of animals on them as well as states and other countries.

Just as we were hanging up, Ma came in with groceries and she asked what their Chanukah present was. I said I’ll tell her if she tells me what’s in the package that oughta arrive tomorrow. She wouldn’t tell, so I wouldn’t tell.

Tom asked me questions earlier about Chanukah and his mom asked which one we celebrate. None with no kids. That’s something you live up more when there are kids. If we have a kid, we’ll acknowledge both.

His parents have a birthday tradition where they send each kid and their kid’s spouse a check for how old they are. Last June 28th Tom got a check for $37. He said she asked if I’d be offended if she wrote the check out to me for $25, even though I’m turning 22. She was shocked to see that I’m turning 29.

Wow. Even though I’ve been keeping journals for 7 years, when I turn 29, that’s 9 different ages I wrote during. During 21-29, but never much during 21 since I started writing at the end of October.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1994 Tom’s home now and he’s talking to his sister Mary who had a computer question.

I never heard from Andy last night, so who knows what he’s up to?

I did a lot of journal typing today and I’m in the hospital now with only 13 days to go till I arrive in Phoenix!

Speaking of hospitals, it’s been one year since my last attack! After that 2½-year reign of terror I went through back east till I got here, I’ve had only about 5 bad attacks in the 2½ years I’ve been here.

I still have some crayons left over, so I may use them to make another picture frame unless I think of something else.

Only 19 more days left till surgery. The time oughta fly by now.

Well, Kim has gone back home today. I assume she’s already there. If not, she’s on her way.

I still haven’t mailed Bob’s letter out yet, but I’ll be sure to say so when I do.

Of course, I haven’t heard from Mark, and I know he could be busy, it’s only been since last Friday or Saturday since he got my letter, but I don’t know. Maybe he will surprise me like Minnie did. When I do send Bob his nasty letter and he tells Minnie and maybe others about it, I’m sure she’ll call all about it.

No package yet from my parents. Maybe tomorrow.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1994 I still have lots to tell, so now’s as good a time as any. Remember the arts & crafts book Andy sent me under a bogus name? Well, I’m so very glad he sent it. Using an empty coffee can that is rectangular, I glued on a poster board around its sides. Then, I took 41 regular-size crayons and glued them around their sides. It was a perfect fit and it looks soooo cool. I glued on all the crayons so you could see the names of their colors.

I made 2 for us. One’s in my room and one’s out back by the computer. Then, I made 6 more for these people: Andy, my parents, Tammy & Bill, Lisa, Becky and Sarah. I’ll send them out as Chanukah presents, but Andy’s will be for his b-day. I also made a little crayon frame, by gluing crayons on a poster board, with Piggle’s picture in the center of it. He’s been here a year today.

I finally got new mascara and this stuff’s the best ever.

Got a letter from Bob today and when I return, I’ve got some wild stuff to write about him.

I probably won’t return any letters I get from Alex or Minnie, even though Tom said, “I hope you wrote her back,” after I got Minnie’s first letter. In fact, I’m not even going to tell him about the letter I’ll be sending Bob for a couple of reasons. Cuz I don’t want him to feel guilty or think something’s wrong with me that’s making me do this. This is my decision and my decision alone.

Assuming Mark’s like most people, he’ll never do what I politely asked him to do. Either way, I’m doing what I’ve been wanting to do for years, with Tom and Andy as an exception. That is to dump people. Believe it or not, this is easier for me to do now that I’ve got a life and my shit together. Cuz now I’m not as lonely and as desperate and can think and choose my words more rationally.

I copied the letter I typed up into 7. I don’t know when I’ll send it, as I kind of want to wait till I get enough letters to finish off the remaining 42 pages or so.

Anyway, it’s pretty nasty and cruel and I’m sure Kim and others will get an earful with several letters. I’m sure it’ll make him feel pretty miserable in the head and physically, but tough shit. The short letter basically says I found out he was convicted twice before for sex crimes, he can drop dead, his problems are all his fault, and that if he ever comes here I’ll kick his ass right back there.

Tom and his parents are at the racetrack now. I hope he makes some money.

Andy may be over later on.

Later…

Tom’s home now but he didn’t win any money.

Hurricane Gordon hit Florida, but Mom and Dad are OK.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1994 I have lots and lots of updating to do. I don’t remember if I mentioned this, although I must’ve. When we got our new camcorder, we also got some free gifts. There were 3 little puzzles, but they were all white, so you could write your own messages, break them up and send them to people to put together. They were a little bigger than postcards and they give you envelopes to go with them.

I sent one to Andy, one to my parents and one to Tammy and everyone there.

Andy returned the $20 he borrowed last night by slipping it in the mail slot.

I finished the wall mural in the living room. I drew a bird on a cactus, two palm trees with a hammock strung from both trees and a little girl sitting on it reading a book. Tom says the little girl looks like Barbara Streisand, but I don’t see it.

Last Saturday when we screwed around, we used a rubber for the sake of making sure nothing gets in the way of my surgery. I thought with that peace of mind, with or without surgery, he’d cum, but he didn’t. He said after the surgery we won’t use rubbers. I don’t think we’ll ever have to worry. If we ever do try to have a kid we’ll have to hope that his pre-cum is enough to get the job done. I also still believe in meant to be/not meant to be, so we’ll see.

I haven’t spoken to Kim since she left that message the other day and if she’s tried calling when no one was around to answer, I don’t know.

I got a letter from Bob yesterday and still don’t know when and if I’ll be dumping him. I’ll give it a little more time and see if I hear from Mark. I doubt I will, though, as most people don’t do favors for those they didn’t really know for too long and weren’t great friends with.

Today I got a letter and a birthday card from Alex. I threw the card out right in front of Tom. Why not dump him too? What’s the point? I do like to get letters, though, but we’ll see.

I still have a lot to write about, but I’m taking a break now.

Later…

Tammy left a message and I called her back. They admitted Bill into Bakus Hospital in Norwich. They say he may either have pneumonia or both that and cancer. She’ll keep me posted.

Today we went to play miniature golf. It was a lot of fun.

I’ve done a lot of shopping, too. I got two of the pens I’m writing with, these stickers that came in a package of several things, all in the style of ballerina bunnies. I got a pink glitter ruler with shapes for tracing. Three erasers in the shape of musical notes. One purple, pink and green. A notepad with the bunny sticker like on the next page on its cover. Identical stationery (8 sheets) and 4 envelopes in yellow, purple, pink and blue.

I got reinforcing rings for papers that go in binders. You stick them around the punched-out holes of papers that go in 3-ring binders to make them stronger. I got through to almost the end of journal 2 with them, then stuck the centers of the holes on the back of those envelopes for decoration. They’re really cool looking, with different colors that glitter.

I got thigh cream that you put on before you go to bed for $14. It’s supposed to reduce craters.

I got Chanukah cards for my parents, Tammy and her family, and Andy.

Today we filmed Piggles with the camcorder, then ran it through the video kit, as we do with Norah’s and printed out a few pictures. One’s in the back of this book on the very last page. We had a certain reason for it when we printed Piggle’s picture out, but I’ll explain it later.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 1994 I got up at 2 AM and surprisingly there was a message from Kim that she left at 6:00 last night. To make things easier, I was kind of hoping she wouldn’t call. She said she’ll try calling back. I don’t mind talking to her on the phone, but I don’t want to see her.

Anyway, Tom awoke in a great mood a couple of hours ago. He just left for work for an hour and will be going back in for an hour this afternoon. In the meantime, they’re still going to pay him for a half day’s work at time and a half.

Tomorrow he may be in for most of the day.

Later…

I was starving so I made a TV dinner.

My waist is down to 24.5” so that’s good.

Right now I’m going to go work on the computer.

Later…

I just began an outline of a palm tree. On the living room wall where there are just the small table and coat rack, I want to do a huge wall mural of palm trees. I went outside and studied the palm trees out there to try to get it as realistic as possible. I’m going to wait until Tom gets back. With him being from here, he can give me the best advice and opinions.

God’s going to pay me back real good, no doubt, haha. This is because I woke up Tammy and my parents. I forgot there’s no school today and my parents don’t usually get up till 8:30 - 9:00.

Dad said that today he’s sending out a Chanukah package by UPS and asked when Tom’s birthday was.

Now I think I’ll go get something else to eat.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1994 I got about 20 of the above labels from some charity thing in the mail, so I use them as date separators. I wish they were the peel-and-stick kind, though.

Quite a bit has gone on over the last couple of days. Tom and I have had several talks. Once again the visit with Kim is off and as much as Tom always says, “You make your own choices. I’m not your daddy,” it’s something I chose to do for two reasons. One, cuz I believe in fairness and I know Tom wouldn’t do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. Two, cuz why not? It was no big deal for her to leave me all alone cooped up in that apartment in Deerfield all the time. I also don’t feel like I’m losing anything. Just her letters here and there. If it were Andy, my parents, Larry or Tammy, he’d have no problem and I know that for sure. He just never got over her waking him up when she was last here, even though he understands it wasn’t deliberate. Some people never get over or forget things. I’ll never get over or forget lots of shit either.

This morning we were in great moods, talking about all kinds of things; he thinks she’s coming today. I never did mention the message I left on her machine yesterday (her plane should be landing right now) saying it was time I level with her about why we both had a problem with her coming here and that all I could deal with is letters and phone calls. I also told her that if she didn’t want to remain friends anymore through the mail or by the phone, I’d understand and that I won’t call or write her unless she does.

As for Bob’s letters that I was going to give her, I guess they’re all going in no-postage-necessary envelopes for Andy to mail out. That is after I “delete” any traceable names.

I also sent a letter to Mark (Kim’s ex) asking if he can let me know if Bob’s been in jail before for the same thing he’s in for now. Tom mentioned that possibility, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see if I can come up with anything. For a while, I’ll be his pen pal, although his letters have slowed down. I’ll definitely give him the ax if I do hear any negative news from Mark, but I also might cuz he’s getting so boring. He’s just old news with the same old shit. All I really ever want for a friend is Andy.

Andy came and borrowed $20 one day when I was asleep and is so much happier at this new place and with being able to sleep late.

Later…

Tom had been telling me this last month that he was going to get me a present for me at work. Something someone was selling, I guess. I got it yesterday. They’re 8 folding postcards with flower stickers to seal them. The part you write on is all white and about the length of this page. 4 of the backs were green and white stripes and the other 4 were peach and white. I sent the peach ones to Andy, Lisa, Becky, and Sarah. I sent the green ones to Tammy, Bill, Mom & Dad, Bob, and Tom.

He also brought home a box of peanut butter cups and a box of mints that he got from Wendy’s daughter.

In other news, I work on continuous typing stuff for Tom. Stuff from magazines.

I’ve begun typing 23, the last New England journal. This one won’t be done as fast as 20-22 whereas it’s bigger and there are fewer charts, lyrics, etc. Wait till I get to 76. That one will probably be the longest.

Yesterday, all by myself while Tom was working, I printed out some pictures with no problems at all. They look really nice and tomorrow I may do more and hope I have the same luck as yesterday.

The exercising I’ve been doing very regularly has been showing and I’ve been weighing 99 pounds. I hope it lasts.

The back room looks better than it ever has. It’s really neat and organized.

I may or may not have mentioned that my folks sent us a brochure of their flea market. I didn’t realize it was such a mob scene. Also, they sold fish, birds and animals, as their personal business card said.

I’m glad Kim hasn’t called. She’s probably too pissed off to as she said she was going to call at noon before I left the message yesterday afternoon. It gets funnier, the more I think about it. There were so many times I wanted to give her what she gave me for abandoning me in Deerfield. The only nice thing I’ll remember is the financial help, the stuff she bought or gave me and her letters.

If I do ax Bob, and if I’m still writing to Minnie at that time, I’ll simply tell her the truth, but that she’s got to do what she’s gotta do.

What will I tell my family and Andy about Kim’s not coming? She just changed jobs and her mom’s sick. The truth is none of their business and I don’t want to discuss it over and over with so many people. Or to have them think that Tom made me do this. No one tells me what to do. It was my choice.

Alone or married, I’m more and more turned off by the idea of Bob coming out here once he’s released. He’s old news with the same old shit. My gut feeling tells me he may very well not live long enough to see freedom anyway.

Later…

I feel bad for Tom as he busted his ass doing the backyard and the patio cuz of Kim. It needed to be done, but he wouldn’t have had to do it all at once if we’d known I was going to call off her visit.

Anyway, I’m getting kind of tired so I’m going to go take my meds and lay down. I’ll be falling asleep real soon.

Cigna called. Gotta go for blood work and an EKG on December 1st between 8 AM - 4 PM.

I believe on the 24th we’re going to Dave and Evie’s for a Thanksgiving dinner.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1994 Not too much has gone on since I last wrote. We played around with the picture-printing program and just bummed around the place.

Andy left a message for Tom to borrow $20 if that was possible. He’s still in training and isn’t getting tips yet. As I was going to bed, he said he’d check the account and see if it was available.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1994 I know I’ve been a bit sluggish with my writing lately, but I sure do have lots to tell. Amazingly enough, I’ve typed up journals 20, 21, and 22 in less than a week. Now I’ve only got one more east coast journal to do. That one will take a little longer cuz it’s bigger with fewer pages with letters, charts, lyrics, etc.

Here are the journal numbers I’ve typed up that total 300 pages. There are 34 altogether that I’ve typed: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 38, 39, 40, 41, 49, 51, 52, 53, 60, 62, 63, 77.

I typed up 61, which is a story. Here are the ones I will be typing up: 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 42, 43, 50, 55, 56, 58, 59, 64, 66, 67, 68, 69, 76, 78, 80, etc.

Here are the ones I won’t be typing up cuz they’re all letters or whatever: 23, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 54, 57, 65, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, and 75.

Later…

We all know I have a bad habit of doing things before I think about them, right? Well, last night I did something that I guess you could say was stupid. As Kim’s visit’s getting closer, I’ve been a little more anxious. As I’ve said before, though, Tom told me that I’m an adult, can and should make my own decisions, trusts my judgment, and that all married couples don’t always agree. This is very true, but instead, I called Kim and told her I couldn’t see her. After nearly 24 hours of thinking about it, I realized that disagreeing is one thing, and fighting about it is another. I believe we’re better than that now, neither of us wants to fight and we’ve gotten to know each other well enough to know we’d never set out to hurt one another. I’ll call her in a while and tell her how I took my anxiety out on her and am sorry for it and hope she can still see me.

Later…

I called and talked to Kim who understood that with her visit and the surgery, I panicked. She will be staying overnight at those people’s house, knows my schedule will be off and that I want to do only local stuff. She was on her way out and couldn’t talk too long, but said she saw Bob. She said he shaved his beard and mustache off and actually looked pretty good. Yes, she got the article from Minnie and couldn’t believe it, saying she felt like she was reading about a totally different person. When we see each other, she’ll fill me in more. On the 10th, she’ll be calling me from that house at about 11 AM.

Tom made some changes with the picture-printing program, so I think I’ll go see if I can whip up some fairly decent pictures.

Later…

Tom got up about an hour ago. I printed out some pictures and I intend to do more. Then we ate and played with Piggy.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1994 I just finished those 75 tips for Windows & DOS and am now printing them out.

Can you believe that two nights ago I typed up almost two journals? I decided to give it a try by typing up 20, one of the 4 NHA journals, telling myself I could stop if I needed or wanted to. I got through it OK and there were only 80 out of the 130 pages to type. I was so bored most of the time that I’d copy in charts, letters, and convos from tapes. Any stuff like that in any of my journals, I don’t bother typing. I had almost finished with 21, which had the same number of pages when I got all this garbage as I got a couple of times before. All these symbols and shit like that. Tom and I managed to save the bulk of it, but I had to retype some stuff. To get it out of the way before more trouble happened, I left out a few pages of trivial shit, like what I ate, what I was wearing, what shows I watched, etc. I can still swear that something doesn’t want me typing these journals. When I work on stuff for Tom, there’s never a problem. However, I have a mind of my own and am now working on 22.

Got a letter from Bob the other day and today we got an invitation to go to a housewarming party at Jackie’s. If I remember correctly, Jackie’s Tom’s aunt. I won’t be awake to go, and I don’t know if he’s going.

When I got up, I was sneezing pretty badly for a couple of hours. I even thought I had a cold. Andy’s over his cold and has had his third day of training at the new place. He’s happy so far.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1994 We went to the fair Wednesday for two hours. It was lots of fun. A lot like the Big E. They even had that same yellow wavy slide. I got cotton candy and we both got ice cream. We went on the ski lift and the Ferris wheel.

For only $12 I got a lavender crepe skirt with a matching top. The top has white lace trim with a tiny purple satin ribbon in front, but it slides down really easily, and Tom says his mom won’t mind putting straps on it.

In a few months when the county fair comes, we’ll have to do the things we didn’t get to do this time around, like play games, go on the big yellow slide, go in the funhouse, and get me a caramel candy apple. I forgot to get one on my way out.

When we came home, we ordered a camcorder through Fingerhut that was over $1,000. I can’t wait, though, and it’ll arrive in about a week. Can’t wait to send videos of all kinds of things to my parents and Tammy and everyone. I’ll write more about it when we get it.

Got a letter from Minnie today. I wrote her back as well as Alex, Bob, and Kim. Yesterday I wrote to my parents, Tammy and Bill, and also stuck in a letter for my nieces. Did I mention that I typed a letter to Larry? Well, I did. He should get it Fri. or Sat.

Earlier I talked to Andy who’s got a cold and hasn’t started work yet due to it.

I printed out all 33 pages of 19 and now I’m going to go work on those Windows & DOS tips for Tom.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1994 Now I shall begin in journal 80, as 79 is all filled up with letters. Soon after I start 80, I’ll be listening to music, then crashing. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. I’m sure it’ll be lots of fun. Tomorrow, I may very well also finish typing up 19, then I’ll decide what to do from there. My movie should start recording soon.

Well, bye-bye for now, as I’m going to go start journal 80. After I finish 80, I’ll probably head to 81 as I really doubt I’ll be finishing that subindex as I mentioned before.

Later…

Wow! I can’t believe I’m already starting my 80th journal. This pen is going to die on me any time now and I really don’t have a whole lot to write about. I got all caught up in my previous book. Cuz we’re going to the fair tomorrow, I’m sure there’ll be lots to tell then.

I hope I get some mail tomorrow, too.

Anyway, I’m going to go and play me some tunes now, then make coffee and conk out. Tom will be waking up tomorrow at 10:30 unless I get up earlier.

Larry mentioned calling Tammy, but I forgot to ask her if he mentioned going to see her if possible since he will be working locally.

Did I remember to shut the computer off? Yeah, I’m sure I did, but I’ll double-check it when I get my lazy ass up and off this bed.

I still have to have Tom show me how to print envelopes, and maybe we can check out the possibilities of my editing on the computer. He said it’s not hard to do, but it’s very different than anything I’m used to.

Well, that’s all for now as I’m getting very tired and my hand’s killing me. I’ll write tomorrow evening.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1994 I only copied 4 of the 12 songs on Gloria’s new CD. I also noticed an address for a fan club, so I requested information about it.

I just typed Larry and everyone else there a 2-page letter with all kinds of fonts.

Instead of going to the racetrack today, we’re going to go alone sometime, so I don’t have to be there for hours. I hope he wins money for the fair.

Andy got a job at a place called Caro’s if I spelled it right. He’ll be working the dinner hours, so we’ll no doubt see more of each other.

Later…

Tom didn’t win any money at the tracks today, but oh well. He took his parents there and they gave Tom a T-shirt, a buttonhole maker, and a really neat craft. It’s a crushed can with a face painted on it. It’s hard to describe, but it’s quite clever.

I spoke to Andy too, who’s psyched to start his new job.

After Tom came home, we ate, then fooled around. We also were both in the back room each working on a computer. He showed me how to change the colors of the Window’s title bar.

Can you believe I’ve only got about 40-something pages left of 19? After I finish typing 19, the next 4 will be my nightmare in the NHA. I’m deciding on whether or not I should skip them, or get them the hell over with. Tom said if he were me, he’d skip them. We’ll wait and see how I feel later.

No mail for me today. I haven’t been getting as much, but soon I’ll type letters to my parents, Kim and Bob. One last one for Kim till she gets here. I’ll have to call her to see if everything’s still set and where she’ll be staying. I’m not sure where she’ll be staying overnight.

Today I got some information from Tammy all about her computer. Yup, it is a piece of shit. Hopefully, we can send her games soon.

Later…

I just ate, watched a little TV, and left Andy a good luck message. I may not talk to him before he starts work at the new place.

Tom’s going to wake me up tomorrow at 10:30 and we probably won’t be back here till sometime late afternoon.

I’m glad I haven’t gotten around to typing anyone’s letters yet, as this way, I’ll have more to tell them.

For the fun of it, I’d really like to see a psychic and I hope they’re not too expensive. I also hope they’re better than the 900# psychics. They’re certainly quacks.

Let’s see… what kinds of questions shall I ask if I see one? Perhaps stuff like, will our marriage last forever? Will we have a kid? Will we have a successful business? Will we move and when? Will I be a singer and if so, how well-known will I be? Will I ever quit smoking forever?

Speaking of singing, I really got into it a while when Tom and I were in the back room.

[llycaons]

IWTV s2 ep1 (thank you vero!!!): a few thoughts

yayyyy new setting!!!! I love when shows set in warm places go to cold places. weirdly specific but when max and anne and jack black sails went to philadelphia I was clapping and cheering away. I love to see snow

I miss bailey bass but delainey hayles was really well cast. obviously she resembles bass closely, but she's also captured her character very well too. it ALSO helps that claudia and louis underwent a huge fracturing of their relationship at the end of s1 so of course things between them will be different. as of the time of this writing, she hasn't even looked at him. I imagine it's easier when they don't have to recreate the exact dynamic with a new person, but can build something new after a huge rift

speaking of, louis's recollection of claudia and his discussion of her losing faith in him and viewing him as someone she can no longer connect with is just devastating. my god

armand is REALLY annoying to me😭just so smug…and apparently he and daniel were a thing in the books which is really odd to think about at this stage but sure.

daniel is such a crotchety old bitch. you're going to whine about how a VAMPIRE talks about trying to avoid SUNLIGHT???? shut uppppp

THERE'S A REAL RASHID????

bringing lestat back, even as a dream, this easrly, was a mistake I think. he's a tremendously impactful and popular character, and by drawing out his first appearance a little longer, the show could have 1. reminded the audience who the show is actually about and 2. give lestat's reappearance some more punch

WHAT THE FUCKKKKK I gotta finish my rewatch of s1

I WAS WONDERING THIS TOO!! it seemed like a stupid misdirection bc daniel doesn't know armand's name, but in hindsight I guess armand doesn't want his name in there at all

EMILIA <3

THIS SCENE. EMMY!!!!

this song is so gd creepy

what the fuckkkkk

she's got the vampire aesthetic down SO well

WHY DID SHE DO THIS. like. why. like it truly doesn't compute at ALL. she seemed excited! she was talking about all the great things they'd do, all the pleasures!

oh their fancy bedroom looks so open and cold...maybe louis likes that tho. it certainly doesn't appear that armand has trapped him in a gilded cage and has control over all his food and movements like everyone was speculating after the end of s1. it IS a bit weird tho

I mean he doesn't seem unreasonable here, just cautious.

wow....marital intimacy. but unlike his relationship w lestat, they do rationally and respectfully have a discussion and both of them are satisfied with the compromise. also I don't think we've seen them speak privately about the interview yet!

omg so since the 50s...

this is so kjdhsfk. daniel's face! obviously I'm going to compare to his relationship with lestat again because THEY were so intimate in private while being more distant in public while armand and louis are the opposite, except that one big finale kiss, but just because that relationship was full of passion didn't mean it was good or healthy or louis's ideal scenario. maybe he likes this distance. maybe the physical separation and the independence is something he craved after being tied to a codependent, jealous, paranoid, melodramatic, maniacal abuser for decades. I don't think I could say with certainty he's unhappy, or it's armand who's making him unhappy

I hate 'stop feeling sorry for yourself' as a pick-me-up because it just makes an unhappy person feel WORSE. they're not feeling 'sorry for themselves' they're just feeling sad....man louis she just watched her dearly cherished hope throw herself into the flames 😭

end of the episode.....oof. me and you and me but LESTAT STILL THERE. HAUNTING THEM!!!!

[thebibliosphere]

The adjustment period is still ongoing as we get ready to start vision therapy over the next 9 weeks. But for my glasses, I had to wear them for very short intervals at first. Minor headaches happened, as did a lot of eyestrain pain, as my eyes were guided into the correct position.

One of my friends actually noticed on a Zoom call that when I took the glasses off, my left eye visibly swiveled toward my nose. It was minor but noticeable enough to draw comments. Over a few days, the mild pain in that eye went away, and now my eye no lingers visibly lists when I take the glasses off. Things are now, however, noticeably out of focus without them, which they weren't before, and I can feel my eyes shift out of focus in the few moments after taking them off.

It's a bizarre feeling.

I was also told to avoid, or at the very least, minimize screen time for about 6 weeks. I'm currently limited to 2-4 hours of screen time a day, as opposed to my usual 10-12 hour work day. (Before anyone frets, yes, I used to take breaks in between like you're supposed to.)

This was to rest my eyes and let them get used to the glasses as much as possible before I jumped back into work. I was also given eye exercises to do, and recommendations to relax my eye muscles before sleep. (I use a warm compress.) I was also advised to avoid the infinite scroll of social media as much as possible, as we think the up-and-down motion was causing certain muscles to get overworked. I'm doing exercises to combat that.

It took about two weeks for me to be able to wear the glasses full-time without minor headaches. I now wear them 8-10 hours a day, though I am still working with decreased screen time.

My BVD is considered atypical because I do not have the classic double vision associated with it. That's why it was missed by a regular eye doctor. The tests they were doing for it just weren't extensive enough. (Amusingly, I have near-perfect 20/20 vision in both eyes. But only when one eye is closed. I am now wearing a much weaker prescription than I had before, but with added vertical and horizontal prisms to correct the muscle defects that are causing issues.) It was only when we were testing rapid eye movement motion that my problems became very evident.

At one point, I had to grip the exam chair because I was convinced I was going to fall over, as certain eye movements triggered the vertigo I've been associating with my POTS for the last 5 years. That's also been a game changer, but I'll need to wait for summer, when I'm more symptomatic, to see how much has changed.

My lenses were made of glass from the get-go to avoid the rainbow effect, though it still sometimes happens when they fog up from the cold, so just be aware of that.

My lenses are also rose-tinted for maximum blue light blockage. The normal yellow kind you can buy without an RX or are commonly applied to your RX lenses are not strong enough for me.

This was explained to me that while yellow/green tints can neutralize blue light, red actively blocks blue light and can provide better relief for those of us prone to eye strain from screens or general light sensitivity.

This has made a huge difference to my photosensitivity, which was noted in my file as "debilitating" after doing some light sensitivity tests. (I knew it was bad, but I thought it was like, normal bad. Not "oh shit your optic nerve thinks you're standing on the face of the sun.")

I'm now able to go outside in the Minnesota winter and not get immediately crippled by a blinding headache from snow blindness which happened to me even when I wore multiple pairs of black sunglasses on top of each other. I also have additional magnetic clip-on sunglasses, that offer a much darker shade of red should I need them. They are also game changers. I can now sit in the front of the car and get hit in the face by someone's high beams and not be in debilitating pain or want to throw up 20 minutes later.

I'm going to be wearing rose-tinted glasses for the rest of my life, and I'm okay with that.

My doctor did warn me that as my eyes adjust, we may have to alter the prisms. I might need more strength, or I might need less. Thankfully he's going to work with me over the next 9 months and make any needed adjustments free of charge because he says 9 months is about the time it can take your eyes to fully adjust and settle, and he doesn't like to leave people without help if he can avoid it.

My EDS may affect my progress, but we won't really know until the end of the 9 months. If I need to pay for more lense adjustments after that, so be it. Hopefully, vision therapy will help prevent that.

I hope this was helpful to you!

[edit] sorry for the weird posting. Mobile app seems to have double posted some paragraphs. Should be fixed now 😅

How are the new glasses working out?

Yeah, they're um, *clears throat and starts crying anyway* they're working great.

[devildomdisaster]

Idk if you read Lore Olympus but chapter 129 gave me an angsty request idea.

So Persephone, who’s the goddess of spring, goes into a hibernation-like state and when her emotions go out of control, she ends up growing her hair really long and her body sprouts a lot of plants from her; to the point of covering her and whatever area she’s in with her plants.

So I would like to request head cannons of the Brothers reacting to an MC who gets really sad whenever the brothers insult or threaten them and after several weeks of being berated by demons it causes MC to shut down and go to their room but mistakes a comfort spell with a plant curse that causes their hair and plants to grow continuously long. The plants fill up MC’s room and while they would normally be surprised at the mistake, they don’t care any more. They allow the plants to to grow, even wrap around their neck and body, and hopes the curse kills them off before the brothers notice as they go in the “hibernation” stage of the curse (The curse causes the victim to grow a lot of plants and vines from their body until they die, which can take a few days).

I’m sorry for being so long and descriptive, I just wanna see the Bros panic and feel guilty that MC felt pushed to do this to themselves but I understand if you don’t want to do it

I don't read Lore Olympus but you described the situation really well so I hope this is something close to what you wanted.

Comfort spell gone wrong

Lately, nothing seemed to be good enough for the demons. No matter what you did one of them would find something to berate you for.

“Mc, your grades are subpar even for an exchange student. You’ll have to try harder in order to not be a disappointment to Diavolo and myself.” Lucifer warned over breakfast.

“Mc, you burned dinner. You should learn to be a better cook.” Beel grumbled. As if you had ever seen any of these ingredients before ending up in the Devildom.

Even Mammon seemed to be in a particularly unpleasant mood. A never-ending string of complaints about how hard it is to protect an ordinary human. “Geez, you’re such a hassle human.”

Taking refuge in the library to study and to give Mammon a break from you proved disastrous and nearly deadly. Somehow you’d managed to spill your cup of tea all over an old somewhat rare text after Asmo had barged in and startled you. Your string of bad luck continued when Satan rounded the corner and saw the soggy tea-stained pages you’d been trying to decipher. In his fit of rage, he’d called you several unpleasant names and asked if you were “capable of doing anything right or if all humans are as stupid as you?” You’d left as quickly as you were able to avoid any more of his wrath.

No matter where you went you kept walking in on Belphie napping and without fail he’d say something nasty to you, that would make tears burn the backs of your eyes.

Levi had angrily called you a “useless normie,” who he wished would “never come back.” and had pushed you from his room with a slam of his door.

Even Asmo who usually just ignored you when he was upset found every reason imaginable to critique your every aspect. Physical and personality. Not a single one of which made you feel any more than worthless.

So was it any wonder when at the end of a long week you’d locked yourself in your room and decided to try that comfort spell you’d heard Solomon talking about? It seemed simple enough. But then your tears had blurred your vision as you’d recited the words and your Latin was still shaky at best. But it was just a few lines! And there was no way you were going to go to one of the brothers for comfort when they had seemed perfectly happy to make you miserable for the last few weeks.

You’d read the spell aloud and curled up hoping that the spell would kick in and you’d feel even just the slightest bit better. The blinding green light and sudden drop in energy was the first and only warning the spell had gone wrong. But being new to magic meant it still sapped your energy, so you didn’t stop to think something might be wrong. By the time you realized what was happening, everything was out of control. Plants had begun to sprout from your skin and the floor around you, growing and growing. With each inch they grew you felt your exhaustion creep up and consume you. You were just so tired. Your eyes fluttered closed. This was wrong! You forced your eyes open again. You need to fix this. The spell! But a short nap wouldn’t hurt, would it? You’d have more energy after you woke up. Then you could go get one of the brothers. Satan would know how to fix this. Or Lucifer! He’d clean the spell up easily. Yes, after you woke up…

Lucifer hadn’t seen you all weekend. He figures you’re most likely studying. But you don’t show up for meals and none of his brothers have seen you either… and oh Diavolo! He can feel the spell from the dining room. How did he not notice sooner? The cold pulling sensation of the spell, like it was sucking the warmth and life from its surroundings.

When Lucifer reaches your door Mammon is already there. Knocking and shouting for you, but there's no answer. He all but breaks your door down, his brothers behind him, and finds you at the center of the spell. Unresponsive and covered in the plants using your energy to grow. The plants had begun climbing up the walls and twisting through your hair, sending out snow-white flowers.

“Beel! Don’t!” Lucifer warns as Beel reaches out to pull a handful of plants from you. “We don’t know what did this and what will happen to Mc if we just rip the spell off like that.”

“Lucifer, Mc did this to themself,” Satan points to the open spellbook. “It looks like they got a comfort spell mixed up.”

Fortunately, your last tired thoughts were correct and Lucifer is able to break the spell quickly. You wake surrounded by the brothers.

Lucifer:

All this happened for a comfort spell? Because you didn’t feel like you could come to him, to any of them?

He’s so sorry Mc. Enough that as he leans down to pick you up out of the mess of withering plants you can feel tears fall onto your face.

“Nothing I did was good enough for you Lucifer. Any of you. I just wanted to feel… I just wanted-”

His heart breaks when he realizes this is his brother’s fault, his fault. “You are always good enough, Mc. Much more than I could ever ask you to be, and if I ever made you feel like you weren't. No, the fact that I made you feel like you weren’t, means I have been truly terrible.”

You’re choking back your own tears now and you curl further into his arms as he carries you down the hall. “You said I was a disappointment.”

“My dear Mc, you have never been, nor could you ever be a disappointment to me. Forgive me for ever making you feel as if you were.”

Lucifer takes you to his bathroom and draws you a bath to wash away the last of the plant matter from your body.

Afterward, he’ll bring you anything you ask for. He wants to wrap you in his arms but doesn’t want to push you, so he asks softly if he can hold you.

He’ll spend weeks trying to make this up to you, even after you forgive him, he’ll be sure to tell you how much he loves you more often than he did before.

Mammon:

Shit human! Why didn’t you come to him? He loves you so much and oh. He made you feel like a burden.

How could he be so stupid when he knows how his brothers make him feel?

Mammon begs for your forgiveness in front of all his brothers.

“Please can ya forgive me? I never meant to make ya feel like a burden. You're the only human I- I want to protect you Mc. I’m so sorry.”

Mammon helps you up and since your room is covered in plants he offers to let you sleep in his room for the night.

He wraps you in blankets and brushes the hair from your face with trembling fingertips.

There are still a few stubborn leaves sticking to your face and in your hair so Mammon takes a warm washcloth and wipes them from your face before gently untangling the plants from your hair.

You’ll be getting little gifts and tokens of mammon’s affections for the foreseeable future.

Levi:

He threw you out of his room when you came to him for comfort and the guilt at seeing you almost die because of it is eating him alive.

He feels frozen

Maybe you would be better off without an otaku shut-in like him. He starts avoiding you like the plague.

You start to think that Levi is so disgusted with the fact that you did that spell that he doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.

Despite this Levi still checks up on you. He wants to know that you are ok, he just does it without you knowing.

He’ll ask his brothers about you and discreetly glance at you during meals to make sure you’re eating enough and look healthy.

A few days later when your favorite and manga anime start showing up outside your door you confront Levi. “Are you mad at me? Do you just not want to be around me after what happened? Levi, I miss you!”

He is shook, and he can’t believe he messed up so badly.

He’s happy that he can invite you to hang out again, and he makes sure to spend long nights gaming or watching movies with you until you fall asleep against him. He’ll even stutter out how much he treasures his time with you, blushing fiercely all the while.

Satan:

Satan feels anger swell up inside him. How could he have let this happen? How could no one have seen how upset you were?

Once the spell has been dissolved he is at your side instantly. Brushing vines from your skin. His fingers are shaking in anger but his touch is so gentle.

When both you and your room are cleaned up Satan sits at your bedside, book in hand, reading to you.

He just wants to be close to you now. He wants you to know how much he cares about you but is still too worked up to get his thoughts out properly.

Eventually, his thoughts calm and he stops reading in the middle of a sentence. “Mc, I am so sorry. I never meant to make you feel unwanted. Every day I spend with you is infinitely better than a day without you. I know the spell was a mistake but… we almost lost you. I almost lost you.”

He wants to talk about what pushed you to do this. He won’t push but he really does think that he will be better able to help you if he understands.

Satan makes sure to spend more time with you from now on. He makes a conscious effort to check his temper at the door and be with you when you need him.

Sometimes he’ll just read to you until one of you confides in the other in quiet voices.

Asmo:

As you blink your eyes open Asmo gently brushes some plants from your cheek.

You are so pale and his heart breaks as you flinch away from him. You feel like a mess and you know you must look like one too so curl your body away from him trying to hide. Trying to avoid his critical gaze.

This is the moment Asmo knows he screwed up.

He draws his hand back, for a moment, before reaching out to you again. Cupping your cheek and wiping your tears away with perfectly manicured hands.

Lucifer has him take you to his bathroom to clean up while the rest of the brothers work to clear the plants from your room.

Asmo is quiet for a long while as he untangles plants from your hair.

“You’re so loved, Mc,” he says softly. “You are.” he insists when you shake your head no.

“More than you could ever know, and it’s our fault for not telling you. My fault for not making you feel worthy.”

After this incident, Asmo wants to make sure you know how beautiful you are. He starts self-care days once a week that soon turn into whole family affairs. Each week different combinations of his brother attend and you all work to pamper each other.

Asmo makes sure nothing like this happens again, he never wants to be part of the reason you feel unloved ever again.

Beel:

At first, Beel thinks you did this on purpose. Once the brothers realize you messed up the spell he is less angry but no less distraught.

Once you wake up, he wants to take you to get desserts. He’s heard humans eat Chocolate/ other sweets to feel better. And this makes sense to him, food does make everything better.

But you don’t want to go to Madam Screams or the kitchen to make your own. You’re still so tired. Not to mention embarrassed that you screwed the spell up this bad.

And now they are all staring at you like they care so much when none of them had any time to notice how they were making you feel before.

When you become unresponsive to the brother’s questions and apologies Beel scoops you up in his arms and walks away with you.

Something about the way he holds you close to his chest and his warmth causes you to finally let go.

You bury your face in his shirt to muffle your crying.

“I just… I felt so alone! And… I...but no one” you gasp out shakily between sobs.

Beel soothes you with soft murmuring as he gently cards his fingers through your hair and strokes down your back.

Once your crying quiets he starts to speak “Don’t do that again. You can always come to me Mc. I’m so sorry you felt like you couldn’t”

Belphie:

Belphie thinks it’s a joke at first. “Man, how could they mess up this bad?”

Then he sees Lucifer’s panicked expression and it hits him how serious this is.

Belphie is immediately by your side. Hands frantically feeling your wrist for a pulse.

After Lucifer breaks the spell and your eyes flutter open Belphie is filled with relief until a wave of guilt washes through him.

He can’t believe he fucked up so badly again. Sure this time he didn’t directly cause you physical harm, but he did play a role in causing you to almost die again.

“I am so very sorry Mc, I never meant to hurt you.”

He does everything he can think of to make it up to you. Anything you ask him for, as long as it’s within his power, is yours. No questions asked.

He asks permission just to hold your hand for weeks afterward as if he thinks you’ll come to your senses and decide you don’t want anything to do with him.

He wants to comfort you so bad.

To make sure you don’t feel like this again Belphie pulls you away to nap with him as often as he can get away with it. Most likely only a few times a week (much less often than he would like). Sometimes he uses this time just to talk with you. Others you really do nap, and Belphie curls himself around you. Occasionally he enters your dreams while you nap together to make sure no nightmares can touch you.

[tteokdoroki]

an ode to winter | dabi.

♡ pairing: dabi/touya todoroki x fem!reader.

♡ word count: 14.1K

♡ rating: mature, 18+, mdni.

♡ genre: manga war arc!au, single-parent!au, unplanned pregnancy!au,  angst, fluff, smut.

♡ summary: touya todoroki had broken a lot of things, your heart, promises, your window a few times, but you swore he'd never leave your child feeling that way. but when he wants back into your life, will he take no for an answer? And do you even want to say it?

♡ warning(s): please read ! heavy smut, ( literally 5k of it ), MANGA SPOILERS IN THE EXTENDED ENDING,  mentions of pregnancy, mentions of semi-toxic!relationships, struggling with parenting, blackmail ??,   unprotected sex ( wrap it before you tap it, losers ), handjobs, oral sex ( female receiving ), fingering ( female receiving ),  choking, branding, squirting, spit!kink, needy touya lol <3

♡ author’s note(s): OK so this started out as a fic for my bestie @ozzy-bozzy​ but then turned into this long ass vent fic bc i do be struggling!! i’ve barely written for touya so apologies if his character is off. special thanks to @bakugous-trauma for beta reading n @doinmybesthere for the summary and beta reading and thanks for 4.7K MWAH <3

♡ masterlist | requests

the snow had fallen heavy that day, its flakes dancing along the window panes while you’d brought her into the world. you hated the cold, the way it nipped at your nose and stung at your cheeks, how it could freeze over a heart so badly that it would take years to thaw it out. you’d complained about the ice sheets that frosted your windows to the doctors, the ones on the roads too, but they’d simply wrote it off as your anxieties related to bringing kori home for the first time in such weather.

funnily enough, your daughter much resembled the cold in many ways. you’d named her ‘kori’; meaning ice, since her hair was white as the crisp blanket of winter outside and her eyes a piercing shade of aqua marine, that for a while, had no meaning written behind them except for a cool curiosity that you knew didn’t come from your side of the family. she wasn’t warm either, the first time you held her, her flesh against yours was almost a painful spark of frostbite— you expected that it was related to the lineage she came from too.

you thought that you’d resent kori when she was born; for the struggles that her new life had brought to you. you’d given birth alone and afraid, having lost friends and contact with your family due to keeping your pregnancy a secret. if they had known who caused you to end up in this situation in the first place, you were sure you’d have lost them all anyways. you hadn’t a chance to attend maternity classes due to the hours you worked in order to ensure yourself and your child’s financial security. although, prior to her arrival, dabi had told you that if you chose to give your daughter the todoroki name; you both would be looked after when the right time came.

and like a fool in love, you’d believed him, avoiding the apologetic gazes of the doctors and midwives who’d delivered your baby as you filled out her paperwork and birth certificate. one nurse even asked you if you wanted to contact endeavour for support, and you couldn’t blame her— the rumours of your child potentially being that of natsuo todoroki’s had spread fast through the hospital and it was a given, figuring his bad boy college reputation. natsuo and his ventures into the college life were no stranger to the media, so it didn’t surprise you nor the doctors to believe that this wasn’t the first time a girl had given birth alone to a todoroki child. you suspected that if there were any, enji todoroki would have paid them off.

so you let them believe what ever false truth that might have plagued the hospital walls about yourself and your daughter— not having the heart to tell them that you’d probably receive a much larger sum of money to keep hush about the child that you mothered and the child who’s father belonged to endeavour’s deceased, eldest son.

so you realised, thumb held by the chubby hand of your sweet infant girl; that you couldn’t hate her for the mistakes you’d made and the mess you’d become tangled up in— you could only promise to do your best in raising her despite the odds and difficult circumstances, you could give her the life and childhood that her father never had but most certainly deserved.

“miss yn...”

your midwife; himari enters the room, calling for you— tearing your gaze away from the hypnotising sea-foam eyes belonging to your daughter, the way she looked at you only reminding you of dabi. you’d told him once that his eyes always took you to the mediterranean sea, to which he’d laughed and mentioned you’d never seen it before. when the pair of you realised that this was true, the boy with the black hair and intoxicating stare made an oath to you, that he would take you there someday so you could bask in the warm sun and dip your toes into the clear oceans. you only hoped that this oath still remained true.

“miss yn...” himari tries again, this time stepping further into your hospital room. your thoughts had carried you so far away that you hadn’t realised how close she’d gotten as she lingered by your cot. her hands lay flat against her pale blue uniform, nails you note—neatly trimmed— and a smile that would have made you feel comfortable had you not known she’d volunteered to care for you because she too believed she’d be paid off by endeavour. you almost felt bad that she thought the silly lie was true and that she had a shot at a big time bonus but it was funny to think that no one would believe her when she eventually took to the news to claim that she cared for the next heir of the todoroki empire. “it’s says here, that kori is scheduled for feeding— i was wondering if you wanted to continue breast feeding or try pumping a bottle or two today?”

chewing on the inside of your cheek, you hum with hesitance. feeding kori was something you’d never discussed with dabi, some of the nurses had assured you that it was possible for you to do both— so that you could grow closer to your daughter and form a tight bond whilst also giving the opportunity to others to feed her when need be. there weren’t many others, but you figured that dabi might want to give bottle feeding a whirl when he finally returned from the league business. the business that had made him miss his little girl’s birth.

kori gargles from hunger in your arms, drawing your attention back to her tiny form. a stray strand of hair curls against her forehead from underneath her blankets and swaddling— the end you notice has a slight tint of red to it. the icy shell around your heart thaws. glancing back up to himari; you grin with a decision in mind. “i’d like to try breast feeding again, we can use the pump tomorrow.” you say, voice quiet.

“do you need any help getting her to latch?” your midwife asks, aiding you into a comfortable position to feed kori.

“no,” you smile after getting settled, pushing down your gown to expose your breast to your little girl. “i’ve got her, i can take care of her.”

you say the words more so to yourself than to himari, a hidden reassurance that you’re more than capable of raising your daughter on your own.

for now at least.

that winter, dabi never came home.

the snow melts, the flowers bloom and the seasons change. your daughter grows with the swift transition of the weathers too, her hair is a little longer now but the small curl of red against her forehead remains hidden and the same. her eyes open wider, still that deep shade of ocean blue, she can sit up on her own, throws toys out of her crib  and her favourite movies are bambi and bambi two. they’re the only things that she watches, which you hate, because they remind you of her. an innocent child who loses one parent and is left in the care of the emotionally closed off other.

you hadn’t realised how much you would need dabi, but still he is nowhere to be seen.

raising kori on your own proves a challenge, especially now that she’s a little bigger— it was easy after she was born; she was quiet and only made a fuss when she was hungry or needed to be changed. went down easy too, that was until her wails reared their ugly head as soon as the colder parts of winter hit. no matter what you did, the girl would cry for hours on end until her face would hurt from how scrunched it was and her fingers would turn red from the grip she had on your hands.

since her birth, you and kori had to move three times due to the noise complaints about her consistent crying throughout the day, evening and night. by the time february rolled around, you’d ended up in an apartment not so far from dabi’s old neighbourhood— it was a shitty area with high crime rates and an eerie feel to it that made you clutch your purse tighter when you walked home from the late night shifts— you had never had any intentions to raise kori in a dump like this, you wanted a better life for her than what dabi had, but your shabby two bedroom apartment in the dark side of town would be enough for now.

the rent was cheap since your current boss at the local grocers market was close friends with the building manager, but your boss was also a sleaze who thought offering you an extra 10% off of your weekly shop and an expired coupon for the coffee joint down the street would be enough to get into your pants. he was just another thing on your list that you hated about the world, about the current life you lead but you needed to keep him close to keep your rent low and a roof over your head.

besides, it had been a few days since you last saw him at work— the asshole was probably taking a few days to himself while you and your colleagues practically ran the store.

you can’t leave kori with a sitter; they never worked with her. your daughter was far too temperamental for the average person and would spend one night with her before taking their pay and quitting. the only person able to handle your beloved little girl was the old lady who lived two floors above yours, mrs. yamamoto. she was a sweet woman, widowed by fifteen years and had taken a liking to kori that one time you’d helped with her groceries when she couldn’t make it out in the february winter after your little girl was born.

it seemed kori liked mrs yamamoto as well, she was only ever quiet in the woman’s presence and you put it down to how high she had the heat up in her apartment. one time, it was up so high the power in the building went out for an entire night— which was hell for you since kori wouldn’t stop bawling. however; you appreciated the help, you’re sure that without the help of the elder woman you would have been far under the surface— drowning in regret.

but sometimes, it’s easy for the darker emotions to slip through the cracks— take a choke hold over your sanity. there would be nights where guilt would consume you and tears would flow heavily down your cheeks while your daughter slept. it was hard being alone, no one to confide in about the troubles of parenting or to reassure you that you were doing a good job at taking care of your child.

it didn’t help that winter was coming up again, kori’s first birthday fast approaching. the sudden milestone only made you wish that dabi was around more — it hurt you to know that there was possibility he’d run out on you and his responsibilities as a father but part of you believed that your lover was better. the eldest todoroki son appeared way too excited throughout your pregnancy to leave you with nothing.

despite not being able to make it to appointments due to his criminal nature, dabi had somehow manged to find the money to get you a 4D ultra sound of your baby, telling you a few odd jobs here and there allowed him to scrape the cash together. you never asked what it was that he did, afraid of what you might find in the eyes of the man that you loved so much.

why did you allow yourself to love a man who wouldn’t have given you the time of day if he hadn’t broken into your home? his seafoam eyes a glowing shade as he threatened your life through shards of broken glass and then wails of cop sirens outside. were you just as broken as he? had you not realised it yet? you could blame this whole mess on the fact that he kept coming back, but you always let him back in. dabi was a broken man who only knew blood and grit and grime and you were the girl with a chance to lead a normal life— yet you poured all of your heart and all of your soul into loving him because you were so sure that you could fix him.

and every single time you’d convinced him, convinced yourself that what you had could be normal and domestic— dabi would slip between your sheets, pinning you to your bed with your name heavy on your lips and the emotion of love painted into the turquoise flecks in his eyes. they burned with passion while his heated cock sunk between your plush thighs and welcomed him into your warmth. the moans you’d share while your skin slapped together, creating a bubble of safety where you were the only two people on the world.

dabi made promises against your swollen lips as his fingers swirled hidden messages of desire into your slick, puffy clit. he couldn’t give you the ring, the wedding or the house with the white picket fence and dog barking at the post man in the front yard— but he could give you every part of him from the good to the bad, the beautiful to the ugly and he would seal that promise with a throaty groan of ‘you are mine and i am yours...’ into your ear as you came together.

but it seemed that like all things, dabi’s promises were broken like shattered glass— never meant to be kept or eternalised. the shards cut your delicate fingers, the pain numbed as you were left to pick up the pieces and be strong for the small life you were now responsible for.

you were careful to not let the door fly in and hit the wall opposite as you unlocked it, stumbling into your two bedroom with kori’s chubby legs locked around your hips and bag full of groceries in your other hand. “look princess,” you coo down at your daughter sweetly, watching as she drools all over your staff lanyard from work. “we’re home!” bending down, you dropped the produce off by the door before heading off to your living room area, propping kori in front of her toy mat.

smiling down at her, you brush the pure white hair that curls over her cobalt eyes and kiss her freckled cheeks— heart swooning at the way kori giggles in your arms. she’d been on her best behaviour the entire week, keeping out of trouble with the staff at her daycare and mrs yamamoto in the place upstairs, so it was only right that you treat her.

“you hungry babygirl? want mommy to make your favourite, hm?” kori is barely old enough to talk aside from a few babbles and repeats of mama but that doesn’t stop you from asking.

“mmmamamamaa!!”

you press another kiss to her baby fat cheeks before heading to the kitchen to prepare her favourite dinner— spaghetti. ever since kori started eating her solids, she hadn’t been a picky eater and you noticed that her appetite much resembled dabi’s, who couldn’t afford to be fussy about any of the meals you’d made for him before he disappeared.

making the sauce is easy, a dish you’d prepared from when you were a child and used to cook with your parents— you retrieve the ingredients from the groceries and pull out the stuff you’ll need to cook them. you mince the vegetables easily like you’d been taught as your mind gets away from you.

you wish that dabi was here to enjoy the domesticity of your current life— maybe him being around would lift the dark cloud over your life. sometimes it hurt to know that he would be missing out on moments like this and you could imagine him sitting by the couch while kori played with her toys and you cooked for them both. in this world, he’d laugh at her fascination with colder toys and magnets— make a joke about how much your little girl resembles him and kiss your cheek when you served them both up their favourite meals.

tears pool in your eyes at the thought of your wish never being granted and that’s all it takes for you to slip and cut your finger while chopping up the garlic. “fuck!” you boss, dropping the knife and squeezing your hand around the wounded digit. you know that the clattering of the knife has scared kori, and from the way she looks at you, you can already tell that she’s seen you injure yourself. “god, fuck...that hurt.”

there’s a pause in time, while you rinse your cut under the tap, cold water soothing the sting before kori starts to wail like her life depends on it. in a rush, you grab a tea towel in hopes that it’ll stop the bleeding and head straight for your baby, hoping that you’ll be able to soothe her. by the time you reach kori, her eyes are red with tears and snot dribbles from her nose down to her chin while she babbles loosely all the new words she’s learned— in a whiny tone.  

“baby, don’t cry mommy’s got you,” you murmur to her, reaching out to the little girl with open arms. your heart breaks at the way her bottom lip wobbles in a watery pout. kori crawls into your arms, white mop of soft baby hair buried into the junction between your shoulder and your neck— her tiny body shakes with awful heaves and cries while her tears dampen the old hoodie of her father’s that you wear, effectively ruining the fabric. “come on honey, it’s okay! momma didn’t mean to scare you...”

she snivels in your arms, quiet for only a second while you walk around the apartment bouncing her. walking kori up and down seems to soothe her for the most part, a trick that worked when she was first born and had her horrible crying fits. “good girl, mama’s got you...” you continue to soothe her, brushing a finger under her white lashes to remove her tears. all is well for a second and it seems her tantrum has calmed, until she grabs onto your wounded finger and makes you curse in pain again.

“shit!”

“m-momma-!” kori whimpers, face creasing in pain as her cheeks start to heat up again. you fear that if you don’t do something soon she’ll bust a lung from crying.

you shake your head in an attempt to calm her down, baby sobs striking right through your body and resume bouncing her, hoping that it’ll work. “shhh kori, honey, it’s okay— mommy’s okay and so are you...” in the process of comforting her, you somehow trip over the discarded knife, sending it flying into the cabinets across from the island and making another loud noise that further spooks kori.

at this she screams bloody murder, the sound of her little chest heaving giving you a splitting headache. you were tired, tired of your daughter’s crying , working long hours with no help and raising a child all on your own. you were tired of the pain spreading through your head and your body and your heart. you needed an out or break at the very least.

you should feel guilty for what you’re about to do, heading for the nursery with a heaving baby in your grip. you can’t think of anything better to do than put kori down for a nap and hope that her crying tires her out— you do your best to pry the little girl from clinging onto your clothes and tuck her into her crib as she sniffles, quickly backing out of her room before she can call for you and make you feel even worse than you already do.

you close the door quietly behind you, somewhat sliding down it while your own sobs take over your body— shaking you violently as you hug your knees to your chest. you don’t know how long you sit there, biting your lips and holding onto in your whimpers while tears stream down the apples of your cheeks, but eventually

you find yourself drifting off with dreams of your happy family.

you jump awake a few hours later, surrounded by a thick darkness from the sky outside. the hum of the city streets helps to bring you back down to earth as you rub the sleep from your puffy eyes and blink away the exhaustion. you don’t quite remember when you’d fallen into a slumber but you figure that kori must have eventually, judging by the quietness that surrounds your apartment.

the blanket of the night allows your guilt to burn brightly in your chest— you shouldn’t have left her alone. scrambling to your feet, you stumble over to the kitchen counter and grab your phone to read the time. 11:06pm. it’s just about time that you check on your daughter, but with two steps of heading to the nursery and you’re met with foreign sound that doesn’t quite fit in with the usual creaks and squeaks of your apparent.

happy gurgles belonging to your baby creep out from underneath her bedroom door, low humming or singing to accompany her sweet sound. humming that you don’t recognise. with a pang of fear to your heart, you reach for the knife on your kitchen floor as a weapon of defence— this would go down nicely with the police. a single mother on self defence...yeah, that could work out.

the knife shakes in your hand as you approach kori’s nursery, barely steady even when you push open the door.

“...touya?”

nothing could prepare you for what you’d see after walking into that room but when your eyes fall witness to your love standing in the centre of the room with a little tuft of white hair cradled to his bare chest. the air around you tingles with warmth as if dabi has heated the place up with his quirk and your little girl curls into him as if she’s known him all her life. but she hadn’t, he hadn’t.

all at once, your heart heals just as it breaks— it’s been so long since you’ve seen the villain that you can’t help but notice all the changes in him, the way his eyes droop a little more with exhaustion and his hair dusted with a the slightest bit of white. he was noticeably thinner too, maybe from being away from a warm bed and good food for too long...so a half of you was relieved that he was home, the other— hurt and betrayed.

“hey beautiful,” dabi’s timbre voice fills your entire being, stimulating your senses into a dull tingle. his lips a drawn into soft smirk as he rocks kori back and forth, your  baby’s eyes flutter with the gentle indication of sleep. “how’ya been?”

if you weren’t frozen in shock, you would have given the villain a piece of your mind. how dare he...after all this time apart from you, from his daughter...ask how you were doing? your eyes flutter to the open window behind the oldest todoroki son, as if you need to look away from him to convince yourself he’s real and he won’t disappear when you look back.

proven right by meeting the cool, chartreuse sea of his eyes— your throat runs dry as all you’d ever dreamed of saying in this moment, flees from your mind. “what are you doing here?” you say, trying to sound firm even though your voice falls through.

touya stays quiet, twirling a long finger through the small curls on his—your daughter’s head. “i was in the neighbourhood.” he mumbles, gaze tearing away from you to focus on the content infant he has in his arms.

you should feel angry, you should be screaming and kicking at dabi— forcing him out of your home with your child safe in your own arms but your body doesn’t will you to. hurt seeps through your veins at the casual aura in his tone. of course dabi would treat the situation as if it never existed and that he’d been with you the whole time. the pain of seeing him with her as if he’d been in kori’s life from the very start wraps around your heart in a poisonous grip and squeezes hard until you’re choking back a sob, letting it sit in the base of your throat.

you refuse to break in front of him.

“you need to go. you need to put her down and you need to leave.” you attempt to assert yourself in a harsh bark, almost making dabi jump. he’d never seen you like this before, but then again he hadn’t seen you in a year. he could only imagine what motherhood had done to you, especially facing it on your own. touya hesitates, kori shifting in his soft grip— one he didn’t even know that he had as a villain but you steady yourself and repeat your words. “touya, i said you need to leave.”

“why? so you can fall asleep and leave her crying on her own again?” the villain spits out, harsher than he intended. he watches your face fall and your body curl in on itself and he feels bad. dabi had promised you a lot of things since realising he loved you, and not hurting you like his father hurt his mother was one that he’d just broken. relenting, the dark haired villain eases kori from his pec and tucks her into her crib.

there’s a beat of silence and then. “i’m sorry.”

“you should be.”

“yn,” he sighs, running a hand through the light roots of his hair as he leans over his child’s crib. the young father tilts his head, scanning kori’s face while he identifies every characteristic she has from the family he’d done his best to free himself of.   “i’m sorry, it’s just— just that she was cold and crying, so i took off my shirt and held her and she warmed up and—“ dabi pauses his quiet rambling, finally looking up from the slumbering baby tucked away into powder blue silk and locks eyes with you. “and she probably has my mom’s shitty quirk. and i can’t get over how much she looks like them, how big she’s gotten.”

touya finds his shirt after admitting that, throwing on the thin white material before closing the window he came through. he moves with the swiftness that comes with his job, and it’s almost peaceful to watch. you stay plastered by the door, torn between falling right into the palm of his hand and demanding the answers that you and your daughter deserve.

it makes you feel a little sick when he gazes down at kori with pride, it makes you queasy at how easy she was to handle to him. touya todoroki doesn’t know half of what it was to raise his child...but did that make you a bad mother? was there something he shared with kori that you didn’t? dabi hadn’t known what it was to love someone other than himself until he’d met you, but you’d spent your entire life around family and friends who took care of you and made you feel cherished every day. you had all of that before you had dabi, and you’d given it all up for him.

shouldn’t you be the one to easily put your daughter down for a nap? to soothe her tears? and for him to come so briskly into your lives and take care of it all when he doesn’t even know what you’d been through, hurts most of all.

“you don’t even know her,” you start, tremble to your bottom lip as the sob in your throat builds up and threatens to burst. “you never saw her after she was born, never cut the cord, never knew her weight. you don’t know how tiny she was when she came into the world, you don’t know because you didn’t come!” with each word, stray tears manage to escape from your tired eyes, but you’re too fixated on dabi to bother to wipe them. it hurts to cry, it stings even as they stream down the apples of youth cheeks but you don’t move.

“yn, sweetness, i—“

“i know how much she weighed when she was born, four pounds and thirteen ounces. she was so tiny i was scared that she would break—“ you’re gasping now, almost choking yourself out on the pain that burns brightly in your lungs and claws its way up your throat. “i know her favourite foods, what fabrics irritate her skin, her favourite stuffed toys, how she likes to be swaddled in her blankets at night or that her curls make her face itch but they’re practically untameable.”

you start to heave, losing breath with every word and dabi does nothing but watch, keeping an eye on kori to make sure she stays sleeping as he steps towards you. “i know that i love her more than i’ve loved anything in my entire life, despite how much i suffered alone bringing her into this world. and i know that i named her kori after the ice that frosted the windows of my hospital room while i waited for... you.”

touya remains emotionless while you descend into madness, letting you cry it out. “i’ve been watching...”

you want to scream, beat his chest and blame him for how insane you’ve become. “watching isn’t enough touya, she needed you. i-i needed you.” you whimper, falling limp against the door frame as your hands move threateningly towards your hair as if you’re going to rip it out from the root. “...you couldn’t come and visit? not once i-in the eleven months that she’s been alive? not once while she’s been breaking me down and giving—“

“giving you a hard time? i tried, i took care of you from afar...i’m the one who made your boss disappear. the one who put his hands on you.” dabi sneers towards the end of his once gentle words, standing a breaths width away from you. you hate that you crave the same touch from him as he gave to kori, but you’re still so mad at him.

eventually, it all becomes too much and you succumb to the tears that wrack your exhausted body. you sway with each choked wail that tumbles from between your chapped lips and dabi surges forward to catch you after kicking the knife from earlier away, letting you sink into the warmth of his embrace. he feels like home, smells like safety and not a word is uttered as he brings you to the floor and cradles you like he did with his daughter.

dabi doesn’t need to say sorry when he shows you through how close he holds you to his heart.

when you finally calm down, dabi lifts you bridal style to your bathroom and draws you a bath with the salts and lavender extract from the cupboard above the sink. neither of you speak except for when he softly offers to help you undress— to which you decline— and when he tells you he’s going to fix something to eat.

you knew damn well that the villain could not cook, he hadn’t been when he was little since endeavour took away the entirety of his childhood and you’d only taught him the basics when he was still on the run and stopped by your place from time to time. his favourite thing back then had been to watch you cook to the weird music you kept playing, hips swaying to the beat and a sparkle in your eyes— but you didn’t do that anymore, he could tell those days were long gone.

dabi orders in takeout in the end and you have half a mind to curse him out for using your money— but the day’s events have exhausted you beyond your wits end, so you eat with him in silence atop your double bed after dressing in an old shirt of his. “stay the night.” is what you tell him, scared that he’ll leave. he puts his cigarette out on your balcony. the doors usually stayed locked so kori couldn’t crawl out on her own but you opened it for him since dabi liked to smoke and you hated the ash.

he promised to quit back then, and he hadn’t now.

“i’ll stay.” dabi says, throwing the butt over the ledge and stripping his clothes as he follows you to bed. he decides not to mention he wanted to stay anyway. you peel back the covers enough for him to slip in behind you, heated arms wrapping around your waist and settling on your tummy, where he rubs small patterns into your skin. the villain’s chest is  overwhelmingly warm against your back— reminding you of the days where you would spoon and he’d wait with baited breath for kori to kick.

both of you lay together, wide awake in the dark for goodness knows how long. touya’s breath balmy against the nape of your neck and if you focused hard enough, you could feel his eyelashes fluttering against your skin. he pretends to sleep, refusing to acknowledge that his proximity to you affects him in the worst of ways— evident in how his prominent hard on presses against the swell of your ass.

rolling over, your heart skips a beat at the way your love’s eyes still manage to glow brightly in the dark— ignited by the flames of his quirk and emotions of angst from the past.

they flicker as he looks to you, pale skin illuminated by the silver moon slipping in from your balconies, scars as enticing as ever. tentatively, you reach a hand out to cup his face, not kidding the apprehension that paint his matured features even as you run your fingers down the scars on his jaw. “been a while since we’ve been like this,” is all you can muster up, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek while your free hand snakes between your bodies in an attempt to pleasure the man.

fear strikes you right in the chest, leaving you panting as dabi flips you onto your back quickly, pinning your wrists against the bed. “don’t,” he growls, almost feral in tone and in his eyes. “don’t do something you might regret in the morning.”

you lay still, staring at the man above you in an attempt to read him. doing so had always been hard, but tonight you can see every detail of his life and every part of him.  the fear of being his father and disappointing another group of people, a broken man torn between the people he loved and the life he led— you could finally see him. you wondered if it hurt him to be away from you and his child, if he ever thought of you.

you take a deep breath, fabric of the sheets fuzzy in your ears as you shake your head up at him. “i could never regret being with you,” you sigh, dabi’s gaze lowering. “i just need you...”

your proclamation is all the permission dabi needs before he ascends on your neck, almost whimpering at the taste of your skin against his tongue. you know that he’s avoiding your lips, scared that things may not feel the same if he kisses you there— as if your love might have fizzled out from the months that you’ve been apart. the villain’s mouth is hot against your skin, sharp teeth sinking into the column of your throat— it’s not hard for him to find the spots that make your back arch and body tingle, the dark haired man  would be embarrassed to admit that he had your body mapped out in his brain. you were all that he thought about in the months between then and now.

you miss his lips, but you fear that if you push your love to far he’ll clam up and withdraw from you completely. you can’t lose him while you have him now. in the meantime, your bodies press against one another hotly, burning while dabi paints shades of blue and purple deeper than his eyes against your flesh before lapping at each love bite with an odd tenderness people wouldn’t think he possessed at first glance. as he works, touya loses grip on your wrists, allowing them free roam across the expanse of his back.

your nails leave light tracks across his back, trailing up from his muscled back to the nape of his neck— curling in the white roots of his hair in an attempt to tug him up to your lips. “baby,” the old pet name tumbles from between them before you can catch yourself, laboured from where you’re short of breath. “please kiss me, please..”

with newly mussed hair, dabi is still for a moment before leaving one last mark at where your jaw meets your neck— wet tongue lolling over the fresh bruise while his large palm move back to cup your head. a thumb belonging to a scared hand runs over your bottom lip, pulling the plump flesh down while he watches your face for a reaction. “are you sure that’s what you want, beautiful?” the villain chuckles into the dark of the night, pink muscle running over his own lips to wet them in anticipation. “you want your man to kiss you?”

your senses go into overdrive, desperate for any kind of contact from the man above you— he feels so close and yet, a million miles away, even with his body making its way between your thighs and your chests pressing together eagerly.

“touya—“ you breathe, barely able to finish your sentence before the man himself delves deep into your mouth. his lips move with hesitance at first, sucking on yours slightly and parting for air more often than he should but you grip him by the whites of his hair firmly and tug him further into the kiss. your tongue dances along the seam of his lips, prying them open as you seek permission for entrance— dabi groans lowly as you tug on his roots and force your way into his mouth, tasting him as if it were your last time.

you swallow each of his moans that mingle softly with your own, while your tongues dance together messily— the kiss were and sloppy as if the two of you were out of practice. your worries fly out of the window from there, it’s good to know that neither of you had been with others during your time apart instead you feel like a teenager making out with their highschool crush for the very first time. dabi’s hips rut into the plush bed beneath you both and you can tell that even the slightest touches are riling him up beyond belief— it’d been almost a year since he’d felt you against him in any way and it didn’t help that you were so ready to accept him.

that you still wanted him.

whimpering at the thought, the villain pauses against your lips to catch his breath— panting softly. you can feel him pulling away, questioning if he deserves to be with you after everything he’d put you through. so, cupping dabi’s jaw, you let your free hand slip between your heated bodies and glide your fingertips along the waist band of his sweats.

“yn, i ain’t so sure about this,” dabi sighs, body twitching at the proximity of your hands to his hardness, his eyelids flutter shut and lock away his beautiful blue eyes— holding fear, insecurity and desire. “what if ya’still regret this later on?”

smiling up at him, you thumb at his cheek and work your hand deeper into his pants, past his underwear. “you’ve been away too long baby, i would regret not being with you more,” you coo up at him just as you grasp at his hardened length, watching as dabi shudders in your grip. his cock leaks hotly against your soft palm from going untouched for so long, your fingers explore him— tracing down the thick veins on the underside of his length. “let me make you feel good tonight.”

“fuck, sweetness. talk pretty with that filthy fuckin’ mouth of yours.” touya breathes heavily against your mouth, both of yours falling open in hot moans. cheekily, you run a thumb over his tip, circling the slit at the top. dabi collapses on top of you, burying his mop of salt and pepper hair into your neck as he drives his hips into your hand at his own leisurely pace. “y’better live up to those words—shit, don’t go letting me down, princess.” jade orbs finally open, heavy with lust and desire as the air around you tingles with a newfound desire to make each other feel good, settling on the planes of your marked and scratched skin.

your grip around dabi tightens while he fucks into your closed fist, wet sounds filling the room from where he leaks at his bright red tip— almost hot as his hands that dance up your sides and tenderly touch at your hips. so unsure, yet so needy. clear, thick precum guides the movement of your hand as it slides up and down your lover’s girth— he’s much bigger than you remember, swollen with an impending orgasm and dabi stutters when you reach further down his boxers to grip at weighty balls full of his seed, just about ready to burst.

he howls from deep within his chest, the noise only muffled from the drool that glides across his tongue before the villain’s wandering and scarred palms stop at your rib cage, settling just under your breasts. you don’t bother to stop pleasuring him even as his quirk ignites, blue flames burning right through your night shirt to expose your skin to the cool night air.  without even a second thought, dabi’s mouth ascends on your tits, taking one into the hot cavern while his free hand seers marks over the other.

the thought have being branded by your man makes your hips jump and your hand squeeze his cock in your grip— a reminder of what’s to come later on. his strawberry tongue rolls across your hardened nipple and you yelp in surprise with the sudden feeling of cool metal across the exposed flesh. “y-you have your tongue pierced?” you squeal as dabi repeats his actions, loving the way you arch your back into his mouth and your heart rate speeds up.

“never know when a bit of metal’s gonna come in handy, sugar tits.”

you barely have time to formulate a response before your boyfriend’s mouth is back on you, biting and sucking and marking your raw flesh like a man starved of his last meal— you don’t let up either, quickly pumping his cock as he continues to leak, painting your hand with teases of his incoming release. you’re sure that his sweatpants and the sheets below you will be stained with his arousal from how much precum oozes from his dick, slicking up your hands and creating the perfect flashlight but you don’t dare to think of anything else but the way dabi’s face twists with pleasure as he desperately thrusts himself into the softness of your palm.

his cheeks flush red, globs of drool connecting the roof of his mouth to his tongue while his eyes grow fuzzy at each step he takes closer to orgasm, the very drool from his mouth covers each of your breasts as dabi switches between them— creating a layer of wet against your supple skin that shines under the moon. you flick your wrist around him, faster, harder— giving the villain everything you’ve got to make him feel good.

“shit pretty girl, y’gonna make me...cum,” touya shakes in your grip, eyes crossing and tongue becoming lazy against your marked up chest. his salvia pools against your skin while he pants and fucks your wet hand as if it were your pretty little cunt clamping down on him. “fuck, fuck, fuck. don’t you fuckin’ stop, don’t you dare fuckin’ stop...”

he barks out the demands, but there’s a neediness to his tone and whine to his voice that makes you grin with pride, even if you’re barely there from having your nipples stimulated beyond belief. “cum for me touya, please, wanna feel you come undone for me.” you beg him, ever so slightly and it’s just enough to push the villain over the edge, sending him into an earth shattering orgasm. you don’t dare to stop as you jerk him off, guiding down from his high as his cock twitches from release and paints your knuckles with the thick white of his seed. he mewls contendly into your breasts, slowing his hips while the world of colours dance behind his cerulean eyes.

“here with me yet?” you murmur to him, grasping his wild locks to tilt his head up towards your face— dabi looks so blissed out but the smirk on his raw and bitten lips tells you the night is far from over.

pressing a searing kiss to your sternum, your boyfriend’s pierced tongue makes yet another appearance as he trails the muscle down your soft tummy— biting your navel as he goes. “never left gorgeous, but don’t you fucking dare think for a second that this is over, y’got that?” he sits up quickly, grabbing hold of your doughy thighs and using them to pull you down the bed. the pads of his fingers start to burn marks into your skin, dancing along your legs and stopping just above the waistband of your underwear. “gotta stretch this cunt open before i give you my cock, remind you of who the fuck you belong to.”

spreading your thighs nice and wide, you release a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding as dabi’s hands finally come into contact with your slit, prodding at your slick folds from over your panties. lowering his face between your open legs, your boyfriend hums in satisfaction as he peels your sticky panties away from your pussy. “why, babydoll, you’re so fucking wet down here. this can’t all be for me, can it?” touya teases you, hot breath fanning against your unused sex while his fingers play with the string of your slick that coats them. “y’must’ve missed your man badly for your lil cunt to look this fucked up, s’pecially when i haven’t even touched’ya yet.”

you shiver and nod weakly, willing to say or do anything to feel more of your boyfriend against you. “s’all for you dabi, o-only you could get me this wet, n-no one else could take your place...” you mewl, hips bucking into the air while the man himself watches you grow needier and needier, hormones expelled into the air. dabi grins, leaning into your core once more to press his nose into your wetness, sniffing your spiked panties like the dirty man he is— only to then lay his pierced tongue flat against your folds, tracing your hole with the muscle while his nose bumps at your clothed clit.

“saved this all for me, huh? you’re so loyal, sweetness. waiting for me all this time…” he kitten licks at your cunt until you’re writhing amongst the already solid sheets, forcing his spit into your hole from over the thin fabric of your panties, creating a more prominent outline of your puffy lower lips as your thighs quieter around his head. they threaten to close as he works on you through your underwear— teasing and prodding at your sex to see if you respond the same way to his touches as you used to.

you force your shaking through his black and white locks, grabbing hold of his roots in an attempt to pull dabi back to your heat when he lifts his head from between your thighs— pushing your lips into a pout. “no, no no, baby, please— need you to eat my cunt, want your mouth on me, please!” you cry out, but you’re quickly pacified by his scarred hand which cups your pussy— seat of his hand grinding into your clit.

“god, if i had known you were still this eager to fuck me i woulda come home a long time ago, babydoll.” he chuckles, licking up your inner thigh and biting down on the plush flesh. “need’ta get rid of these though, they’re getting in my way.” the villain gestures to your panties, making you watch as his quirk burns it’s way through the silky material until it’s nothing but ash against your sheets. you gasp as soon as your cute little pussy is exposed to the cool air, missing the warmth of touya’s pink tongue against it. “better.” he sneers, eyes bright and glowing in the dark with a new sense of feral desire.

thick digits press into your tight hole at the same time touya takes to sucking on your swollen clit, forcing their way up your velvet walls in search for your pleasure spot. dabi chuckles against your sticky folds as you begin to whine, hips rolling up into your lover’s face while his tongue draws rough patterns onto your bud. you’ve missed him, missed this. the nights where the villain dabi would sneak into your home, becoming your touya todoroki between the four walls that you shared— where you would spend nights seeing stars by his hand or his cock and he would make you his over and over again. the memories have you clamping down on his digits like there’s no tomorrow, greedily sucking them in as he strokes at the walls of your sex and makes your whole body shake.

touya works hard at pleasuring you, apologising for his absence through slurping the juices from your folds only for you to gush and paint his scarred chin with more of your nectar. the way you taste makes him dizzy, he could spend the rest of his life between your thighs and never miss the outside world like he did before tonight. he wants to be good for you, make you feel good too and it’s not enough to feel the ecstasy roll off of your heavenly body in waves— he wants all of you, mind, body and soul to belong to him.

you can barely breathe, leaking with every swipe of his tongue against you and every twist of his fingers inside of you. you can feel everything at once, the euphoria crackling across your brain, high on the way touya makes you feel. “god, t-touya, don’ stop...feel so fucking good…” you heave in a drawn out moan, barely able to tell what’s up and what’s down as the villain pulls his fingers from your slick hole and replaces them with his tongue ( only after they’ve pushed down on your g-spot over and over again ).

“you’re not the one giving orders, sweet stuff, oh no.” dabi reminds you sloppily, looking like a child with no table manners as your nectar smears across his face. for his own satisfaction, he delivers a harsh smack to your pussy, watching as your entire body jolts and jumps up the bed. “your cunt is mine and i’ll do what i want with it, show you how much i missed it.”

his possessive words almost set you off, the knot in your stomach growing tighter with every pinch of your nub and every swirl on his tongue inside your walls, committing every ridge to memory. your body burns and you’re not sure if it’s from dabi pressing against you so hotly or because of the desire that fuels the fire inside you.

“yours, yours, yours!” you chant like a mantra, high pitched and whiny— your voice mixing with the crude sounds of your own pathetic cunt, that grows louder when dabi spits on your clit to add to your wetness. he lets it drip between your folds, fingers to busy with stimulating you to catch it before it slides between your lower cheeks, opting to use his tongue on you instead.

“ya’like that don’t you? missed your whinin’ pretty girl, fuck, even missed making you a fucking mess.” you keen into his touch, babbling incoherent praises to the man between your legs as he spreads you wider by the ass with one hand and forces his fingers back into your cunt with the other. his fingers curl into a come hither motion, repeatedly pressing down on your spongy spot as he sloppily makes out with your puffy nub— taking only one, two, three strokes to make your eyes roll into the back of your skull and your orgasm to wash over you.

your body convulses, shaking as you’re hit hard by your release— juices gushing all over your lover’s face even as he refuses to let up. “t-touya no...no no...can-can’t,” you whinge, tears clumping in your lashes. dabi spreads your lips again, using three digits instead of two to continue stimulating your clit until another release builds up inside your lower belly— clear liquid gushing out of your abused pussy and staining the sheets below.

he hums proudly, pressing a lasting kiss to your fluttering hole before reaching up to your lips to do the same, barely allowing you the time to catch your breath— chest heaving while you come down from your high. “so pretty when you squirt for me like that, sweetness,” dabi moans into your mouth, allowing you to taste yourself on him. but as soon as he comes, he’s gone— rolling you onto your stomach and lifting your hips so your ass sits in the air for him. “gonna take my cock now, kay?”

“kay,” you mumble into the sheets, brain too  fuzzy to resist as the villain manhandles you the way he wants.

after shoving down his sweatpants, the eldest todoroki grips the peachy soft flesh of your ass— smacking it a few times with his heat activated palms to watch the flesh jiggle and his handprint sink into the skin. you lean back, watching over your shoulder as his cock stands at full attention, hard from seeing you come undone on his fingers and tongue. it burns bright red at the tip, another fat glob of precum making it shine and making you dribble with anticipation. “y’such a fuckin’ slut, my beautiful slut… hungry for my cock even after i’ve wrecked your lil pussy so bad,” dabi says with a cocky lilt to his voice, the very tone making your hole clench around nothing. he taps his sticky cockhead against your slit, running it up and down your cunt three or four times— groaning as it slides between your cheeks. the sensation causes your back to arch as you wail, fingers gripping the bed covers so tight that you almost cause them to tear. “don’t you worry baby, ‘m gonna make up for lost time, you don’t have to miss me anymore.”

there’s a double meaning to his words that you don’t ask him to elaborate on, too caught up in the way he teases your hole as he dips his length in— only to pull it right back out. “don’t tease, need you badly,” you plead, earning yourself another harsh spank to your raw ass cheeks.

“shut the fuck up and let me fuck you,” the words are harsh against his tongue, but dabi utters them softly as he relents to his wishes. his cerulean gaze flutters down to where your bodies begin to join, his large hand gripping his length before he starts to push into your dribbling entrance. “god, you’re s’fuckin’ tight, you might as well be a virgin.” pussy spasming at his words, you leak against touya’s cock, creating a lewd squelching sound as he pushes more of himself into you. the weight of dabi’s thick girth causes painful, yet delicious burn which he eases by rubbing soothing circles into your clit once more. “been s’long, i outta fuck you open again, huh?”

“uhuh, take me again touya. make me yours, all over again.” you slur over the spit drowning your tongue, eyes fluttering shut when the villain’s hips surge forward his dick brushes against your cervix. his rough, calloused palm grabs your neck from behind, forcing you down into the sheets while he bottoms out inside of you and pushes the last of his cock past your entrance. the two of you groan in unison, touya sitting heavy inside of your walls before you muster up the energy to say. “move.”

he doesn’t need to be told twice, whilst dabi was enjoying the feeling of being engulfed by your soft, warm insides— cock twitching in relief from time to time— he finds it within him to pull back from your selfish cunt to thrust into you with all his might. the force pulls a broken squeal from between your bitten and bruised lips, your hips pushing back against dabi to keep him inside of you. the pair of you move in sync, bodies dancing in a sensual grind between lovers that moulds your cunt into the shape of your boyfriend once more. “oh fuck yeah baby, oooh, missed your cunny s’bad…” dabi yowls loudly, listening for the squashy sounds of your sexes moving against one another. “christ, you like when i talk about your pathetic little pussy like this?”

you bite down on your lower lip, embarrassed by your own bleats of pleasure when he degrades you like this. annoyed by your lack of answer, touya grabs onto your hips and pulls you off of his cock, only to slam them back into you seconds later. his pace is unforgiving and relentless from there, forcing your body up the bed with every thrust into your core. “yes! like it, love it, missed your cock so bad touya!” you cry, holding onto the sheets for dear life as his dick drags along your pleasure spots and his hands burn marks into your ass and hips.

weakly, you attempt to match his thrusts. circling the meat of your ass back onto dabi and squeezing around the head of his girth every time it plunges into your sopping pussy. your arousals mix as he pounds away at your hole, a thick string hanging between your bodies and dribbling down your inner thighs, tainting innocent skin. the wet noise reverberates across the room, creating a passionate symphony with dabi’s deep, pitiful moans.

even though it had been a while since the two of you had been intimate like this, dabi still knew all the ways to get your body going. he took you from behind but still let his marred hands wonder and explore the planes of your skin, pinching here and there, marking your body as his to use and his alone. there’s love hidden beneath his rough touches, little signs that he missed having you so close to him— having you split open on his cock while you dripped on his pelvis and ruined your bedsheets, was his own way of unleashing his pent up emotions of love, anger and despair onto you and you wanted it. you wanted his good and his bad while he fucked you like his life depended on it, balls deep inside the pussy of the woman he loved was where he was most vulnerable with you.

“s-shit, sweetness, you’re such a pretty mess, so fucked up on my cock, can feel you clamping around me like my greedy bitch should.” you’re stuffed so full, clenching every time touya drives his cock deeper into your gummy cunt, head prodding at the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you. he’s losing his mind at how you choke out his iron hot girth, clear liquid seeping down your thighs at every thrust. “you’re my beautiful brain dead baby, letting me fuck you like this, yeah? missed you baby, missed this,” despite his words, touya is no better than you, mind hazy with thoughts of you creaming around him because of how good he’s made you feel. him, and no one else. you saved yourself for him after all these months, the least he could do was bring you to cloud nine.

he does so by angling his thrusts up to meet your pleasure spot every time, howling your name in the way he knows you like just to feel your hot cunny spew more of your juices out against his tummy. “missed you, thought about this for months,” you lament, elbows that kept you up finally giving out as your body tiredly collapses into the sheets— dabi’s balls still clapping against your ass. he follows you down into bed covers, chest pressing hotly against your back as the jackhammers into you from behind. “thought about your fat cock in my tight pussy, t-touched myself to you...made being alone worth it, made waiting for you to come home worth it. ‘cause i get to see your beautiful face when you fuck me…” you barely register what you’re saying, babbling incorrectly while the temperature of your body rises with your level of arousal.

behind you, touya’s cheeks burn with a new feeling. deep down, all he wanted was to be validated as a lover to you, he’d always been deemed as the bad guy incapable of feeling anything for anyone other than himself. but you, you had proved him wrong so many times and he still found your words hard to believe. yet, it felt good to know how much you loved him. snaking a hand down to your face, the villain squishes your cheeks together and brings you up to his own face despite the arch to your back— he keeps up his sinful pace, your lower cheeks bouncing with every push and pull of his length while he drips a globule of his saliva into your pouting mouth. “shut up,” he grunts harshly, although love is written across his cobalt eyes.

you smile up at him dopily, keeping eye contact with him as you swallow gratefully. “anything for you,” his hands slip from your squashed cheeks to your throat, cupping it as he holds you against him. more arousal pools in your lower stomach, turned on by the thrill of him being able to end your life right then and there, all it would take would be one flame but you know more than anything that dabi loves you and would never hurt you. “i love you, touya todoroki. i a-always will.”

your admission makes dabi’s heart stop in his chest, heated pants tickling your ear as he continues to take you and claim your body as his. with newfound vigor, he links his free hand with yours that lays against the bed and rams his cock into your core as hard and as fast as he can, determined to make you cum. “i—oh fuck, i love you too, sweetness…” the arsonist can feel the way your cunt flutters around his girth at his confession, tears building up in your eyes once more. god, you were so pretty like this, arched for him perfectly in the moon, stars illuminating every curve and dip on your body— showing off the stretch marks from where you’d carried his child. everything about you turned him on in the best possible ways and everything about you that turned him on, also turned out to be everything he loved about you.

your stupid big heart, your stupid big eyes when you say that you love him, your stupid smile when he used to kiss you and hold you and even now when he fucked you. touya todoroki was in love and in the worst possible way but he couldn’t say he regretted a single moment of it, not when you stayed true to him after all these months of being apart. you raised his child and you loved him all the same and a part of him is grateful that you never turned your back on him like everyone else he’s ever loved.

so the least he could do is make love to you, push his creamy cock into the depth of your core while kissing down your spine to watch you shudder oh so cutely. it’s messy and sloppy and the pair of you should feel nasty for the stench of sex in the air, lingering against your skin. but you don’t, how could you? not when love and adoration tingles in the air as well, it’s messy because of the unadulterated emotions you feel for one another— deep in vulnerability is where dabi grinds his cock slowly into you, hitting all the right places that make you scream his name into the night. makes him mumble incoherent praises against your bruised neck and squished cheeks as he lewdly licks a stripe up the column of your neck to behind your ear.

you gush around him and he grunts with ecstasy into your ear, tightening that knot in your stomach as you both step closer to your highs. “you like the way i fill this cunt up, huh? yeah? when i hold you like this, when i fuck you like this?” dabi mutters to you lewdly, holding onto his sanity by a thin thread as his own release sneaks up on him. “tell me you like it...fuck sweetness, please.”

“i love the way you fuck me touya, fuck! only you can make me feel this good,” you moan to appease him, bouncing back against his cock while his hips begin to stutter and your eyes begin to cross. it’s true, you love belonging to him, being able to bring him such pleasure and you know he feels the same way. the villain prods at your g-spot over and over again, stealing your breath away as he pulls you up and into your chest, changing the angle of his hips to bring you to the last hurdle. “baby—ohmygod—-touya! ‘m sososo close, don’t stop...don’t stop, gonna cum, give it to me, give it to me please!” you chant, eyes fluttering shut as you lean your head back against his shoulder and search for his hand, voice rising with every octave as you get closer and closer.

“fucking cum for me sweet girl, shit, cum all over this fucking cock.” dabi manages through gritted teeth, grasping your hand while the pace of his thrusts grow inconsistent.

that’s all that you need to hear before the damn breaks and arousal floods through your entire body courses through your veins. white dances behind your eyes in flashes as your release flushes out of your pussy and drips between touya’s balls, coating them in a layer your honeyed slick. you slump against your boyfriend, not able to mutter a word as you convulse in a silent scream and squeeze both his hand and cock alike.

gently, he pushes you down to the bed and pulls his cock from your intoxicating heat— his free hand clasps around his cock, palming himself towards a swift release. “yeah, oh fuck yeah, fuckin’ love you baby,” he cums on your back and your ass, thick, potent and milky seed landing on your flushed skin before he collapses beside you and exhaustion settles in his bones.

you black out for a few minutes after, fingers still intertwined but dabi manages to slip out long enough to retrieve a washcloth that's damp and warm to clean you both up with. you wake up just as he crawls back into bed with you, kissing your hairline while he makes himself comfortable. “almost thought i’d killed you for a second,” the villain jokes, slinging a loose arm over your bare waist and pulling you to lay on his chest.

“you couldn’t, even if you tried.” you counter sleepily, drawing star shapes on your boyfriend’s naked stomach. a comfortable silence sweeps over the room, despite the thoughts that linger on your mind. looking up at dabi, you notice him drifting off but still can’t help the words that slip from your lips. “why didn’t you ever come back?”

you feel dabi’s chest rise and fall with a deep sigh, fingers coming up to scratch at your scalp— something that used to help you to sleep when you were together before. “i was figuring out a way to get out of the league, to be with you and kori.” he says after some time, catching your eye as you give him a confused look. “shigaraki doesn’t know about her, i never told him. but i knew from the moment we found out about her, i didn’t want her to be a part of the life i’m involved in and knowing how the league works, they’d find a way to make use of her.”

you stay quiet, not knowing what to do with the new information and dabi’s reasoning for staying away for so long. on one hand you were grateful to him for keeping your daughter quiet and safe but part of you still wished he’d given you a sign to let you know it’d all be okay. grabbing your chin, he forces you to look up at him—passionate flames burning in his eyes. “i need you to trust me on this one sweetness, i promise nothin’ will happen to you nor kori. so long as i’m around.”

“pinky promise?” you ask him sweetly, feeling the truth to his words.

you hold up your pinky to the villain’s face, smiling through exhaustion as he rolls his eyes down at you. “pinky promise, babydoll. now get some shut eye, kay?” touya links your pinky with his, scoffing when you make him kiss them.

“g’night, touya.”

“sleep well, babydoll.”

the bed is cold when you wake up the next morning.

the panic sets in quickly, speeding up with the chirping of birds from your balcony outside. you shouldn’t be tearing up over the childishness of a pinky promise. he always made you promises but never actually kept the and as quickly as dabi had waltzed back into your life, he had left you alone and in the cold once more.

gathering yourself together, you stumble out of your bed— avoiding any mirrors that may show the cascade of marks dabi had left against your skin from the previous night. you feel embarrassed and ashamed that you let him back into your life so easily, especially now that you had kori to think about. tears start to well in your tired and puffy eyes as you head to the kitchen, thinking that a mug of coffee will calm you down before you prep your daughter for the day.

but as you wander out of your room, the familiar sound of your baby girl’s laugher drifts through the air— seemingly coming from the kitchen.  the sweet melody calls out to you and suddenly your casual stride to the kitchen becomes a brisk walk so you can reach her faster. “kori? baby? did you climb out of your crib again—?” you call out to her, stopping in your tracks when you round the corner.

dabi stands in the middle of your kitchen, still shirtless, with kori balanced on his hip— in one hand he holds a small blue flame, which you’re sure he believes is safe enough for kori to play with while the other steadies your baby girl while she claps and squeals. a first. you’re not too sure when the last time you’d seen her happy was, but you figure her father’s presence had something to do with it.

“i was going to make you breakfast, but the little shit woke up and i didn’t have enough free hands to make you a grilled cheese.” touya smirks over at you, diminishing his flame to grasp kori’s hand and use it to wave at you. she squeals happily, curls bouncing and eyes lighting up in a similar way to her father’s. your heart melts at the sight of them being together, seeing the mannerisms that they share and how joyous they seem. they both grinned the same way, shared the little twitch in their noses and even their sneezes. kori todoroki was an exact replica of touya todoroki, right down to the tiny red curl she had lost in her white locks.

“you know, i thought you’d left,” you make your way across to the island where dabi sets his daughter down and check her temperature— just in case her sudden change in mood is down to any sickness. “the bed was cold when i woke up.”

“didn’t i make you a promise last night, sweetness? i’m not going anywhere,” the arsonist reminds you, wrapping his arms around you from behind while you wipe at kori’s pudgy baby cheeks and give her the once over again. “if you’re checking the kid’s temperature, she's usually pretty cold because of my mom’s quirk. something ice related will be coming through, but she must’ve inherited your strong constitution. guess she has a normal body temp when i’m around ‘cause it balances her out.” while dabi explains the inner workings of kori’s incoming quirk, she claps and babbles excitedly from her place on the island— making a game out of throwing her toys off of it. all of dabi’s logic makes sense and you seem a little more relieved knowing how to take care of her from here.

picking her up, along with her stray toys, you set your baby down by her playmat again and switch on some baby-safe cartoons while you fix yourself and dabi some coffee, kissing all over kori’s face beforehand. he had whined when you pulled away the first time to give your daughter some attention, it was almost comical how the big bad villain had pouted then. “i wonder if there’s anything of mine she inherited or if it’s all you and todoroki genetics.”

“well, her pretty smile certainly didn’t come from me, babydoll.” dabi muses with a light chuckle, arms trapping you against his chest once more as you continue to make you both some much needed caffeine. the coffee machine whirrs as you sway together in the early morning sunshine, warmth from the sun brushing against your skin and touya’s hair tickling your neck before he presses kisses over your fading love bites while kori’s annoying shows play in the background. everything feels complete and at peace. you feel like a real family. “i could get used to this, this life with you.”

you spin in dabi’s arms, cupping his cheeks and taking in his face for the millionth time in the last twelve hours. “then stay, or at least visit some more now that you’re back. you may not feel it, but kori and i need you. everything has always been better when you’ve been around touya… and i mean that. stay.” you stare at him with pleading eyes, standing on your tiptoes to stare him down and communicate just how much you needed him here with you both.

and for once in his life, touya todoroki feels the most loved he’s ever really felt. here in this shitty two bedroom apartment with his angelic little girl and his beautiful girlfriend during the winter season— touya knows this is right where he needs to be. “i’ll stay, for as long as you’ll fuckin’ have me.”

“forever, then?” you ask, eyes lowering to your boyfriend’s lips.

“forever it is, babydoll.” the villain nods, following your gaze before leaning down to capture your lips with a promise written into your sweet kiss.

extended ending

you thought that the best kind of weather was when the sun peeked out from behind the clouds but the air around you was still as cold as a december’s day. the breeze is enough to make your nose run just a little, but occasionally the warmth of the sun’s rays radiates across your skin like a warm blanket, balancing it out.

it was the kind of weather where people didn’t know how to dress, some wore mismatched shorts and jerseys whilst others were decked out in scarves up to their cheeks and sandals where their toes flopped out. it was the kind of weather that reminded you of dabi and kori, they were your warmth and your cold, they balanced each other out and made your family whole.

kori sits on your right hip as you push the car door closed and wave goodbye to an accomplice of your boyfriend’s— your driver for the evening. your little girl’s curls are combed back into two even pigtails, dark blue bows in each one while the red lock of her hair ( now, much longer ) curls against her forehead stubbornly. she looks so pretty, all fancied up a dress that dabi had chosen for her on this particular occasion, the lace irritated her only slightly but the decapitated endeavour plushie her father had gifted her served nicely as a distraction.

you bounce her once, cooing down at your baby before you look to the hospital in front of you— a look of determination in your eye. ever since the night touya had visited you and swore to stay, he’d kept his word to the best of his abilities. being a villain was still a major factor in your relationship, he came when he could stayed if his job permitted it— taking care of your daughter when your shifts were long and even going as far as to learn his and kori’s favourite recipes to cook on the nights where you couldn’t or you didn’t fancy take out.

in the last few weeks his visits had become slightly more scarce with shigaraki becoming more and more demanding, but touya’s plan to leave the league was slowly coming to fruition along with endeavour and the hero society which had both carved a life of struggle for the three of you.

your boyfriend being busy had given you more time to reconnect with the friends you had lost over the last year, meeting up with those from college, mina and tsuyu ( who’d simply thought you’d gone off the radar ) for kori’s first birthday. they absolutely loved her and your sweet girl loved all the attention she was getting. you even had the chance to reunite with your parents, who were more remorseful that you felt you couldn’t come to them for help than the fact that you’d gotten pregnant during college.

of course, they all asked who the father was and you simply told them that he had died ( which was half true ), using the excuse that you were embarrassed to be widowed and with a child at your young age.

shaking your head, you enter the hospital and recite the words that touya had made you practice the night before. you were here by endeavours orders and needed to see mrs.todoroki. your lover had used some sort of hack to put you on the list of visitors for his mother but one look at kori was all the guards and staff needed to let you through. a few nights prior to today, dabi had asked you to do one thing for him before it all went down, kissing your knuckles over some sushi take out.

so despite your nerves, you would go through with this for him, especially if it meant your family could be together. some guards escort yourself and kori to rei todoroki’s room, leaving you with a curt nod and slightly more polite wave to your daughter. the room itself is slightly bleak, a chair and some blue cushioned sofas positioned in an L-shape parallel to the blanketed bed. there’s a tv in the top left corner which and a set of draws underneath where a clear vase sits— containing blooming blue flowers.

rei looks up when you enter, grey eyes flashing with confusion despite the blank look on her face as kori babbles happily in your arms. “who are you?” she whispers, hands retreating from her flowers and  folding neatly in her lap.

“oh! i’m yn, your son’s fiancé and this,” you beam kindly, further entering the room and being sure to lock the doors behind you. you nod your head down to your daughter who waves around her endeavour plushy— paying no mind to the situation unfolding. “this is our daughter, your granddaughter...kori todoroki! she’s just turned one and daddy thought it was about time she met you, isn’t that right pretty girl?”

“dada!!!”

rei blinks and you smile again. “she’s a daddy’s girl,” you explain and lift your hand to snow the small sapphire engagement ring on your ring finger. touya had proposed last night as well, certain your plan would work out. “and quite frankly, so am i! how can i not be when your son treats me so well.”

nodding slowly, the wife of endeavour looks down at her hands which you note, nervously fiddle with a stray petal. “so, natsu and you—?” you can see her trying to work it out, curiosity written across her features. you could see why the woman might think kori was natuso’s child— they looked a lot like each other just by first glance but rei was missing an important feature. the colour of kori’s eyes.

“oh no, your other son. the eldest one.” you correct her with a sinister shake of your head. swiftly crossing the room to set your daughter down in rei’s lap. you watch with an evil air of satisfaction as rei todoroki freezes with fear, as the mistakes her family paid out to touya suddenly come to the forefront of her mind. she wobbles with kori still in her grip and you shoot her a dark glare— reaching over to fix her flowers in their vase. “touya picked these out, always said that you loved them. such a pretty shade of blue, no wonder why they’re your favourites, right?”

“please leave.” she looks up at you pleadingly, shaking like a leaf in the breeze outside. oh how you wish your fiancé was here to see this but he had more important things to do.

rolling your eyes, you grab the remote to switch on the tv— pinching kori’s nose affectionately to make her laugh again. “come sit with me rei, let’s watch some tv to help you calm down.”

the woman nods weakly, barely moving an inch as you take a seat beside her with a smile. you skip channels a few times, pride swelling up in your chest when you finally land on the right one, touya’s broadcast flashing across the screen. he sits leisurely in a chair, shirtless with all of his beautiful scars on display— a painful reminder of his childhood and what he’d become. “i, touya  todoroki, was born as the eldest son of endeavour. today i’ve killed over 30 innocent people until now, some to protect my family. my daughter, who i have not been able to see due to my father. i would like to let everyone know why i’d end up committing such a hideous act.” he speaks such calmness and clarity, and you can’t help but feel emotional at how he stands in front of the world.

kori grins, leaping up at the sight of her father on the screen and claps her hands. “dada!! dada!! lookie s’daddy!!” she squeals while rei struggles to breathe, panic set in her eyes.

you put a hand on the woman’s shoulder, offering her a sweet grin in an attempt to calm her before the oncoming storm. “keep watching, mrs.todoroki, touya said we’d be one big, happy family after this.” the words are sugar coated and sickly sweet, carrying the dark meaning across to your fiancé’s mother.

looking away, your heart swells while touya tears down the hero society and spills the truth for all of japan to see. you were grateful to the man he’d become— loyal to you, to your daughter and the dreams that you had. the satisfaction of seeing the real villains of the world fall was much greater than any hush money enji todoroki could ever offer.

fin.

— TAGLIST:

@husband-to-tomura-shigaraki @grace-todoroki @toshiuwu  @whet-ones-write​