#I wanted to draw a piece without a background for it to be quicker

[shapelytimber]

In my wildest dreams, sweet release

[COMMISSION] - [PRINTS]

If you're interested, it's up as a print on my inprint :)

Process and rambling below vvv

Frankly there isn't a lot of meaning behind this kdkdlod I just wanted to draw them in a freakish gay way :) so I imagined what Nerevar would look like in Dagoth Ur's dreams (bonus if this is one of the dreams shared by the nerevarine, who just wakes up confused af)

Oh I really wanted to finish this before I took a holliday, but alas I hated the colors- so I finished this 10 days later and frankly I'm glad I did, this is so much better

[christianlep]

Blog 7- 1/31

Watching Mobile Suit Gundam was a nice experience, and which I would consider the first modern anime piece we have watched in this class. Despite this tag of being a modern anime, I believe there are noticeable ties to past manga and events that this show draws upon. As we’ve discussed in class and read, Tezuka’s Astro Boy was a prominent influence in Japanese literature when it came out, with many being drawn to the aesthetics and themes conveyed, such as the notion of a futuristic world in which humans and technology (or more specifically robots) are intimately intertwined. While the mechs presented in Mobile Suit Gundam and Astro are different in the fact that one requires human input and the other is autonomous, they both share the characteristic in that they heavily impact the lives (for better or worse) of the humans with their advanced capabilities. While I was watching, I couldn’t help but think if Mobile Suit Gundam also serves to provide commentary about war and a need to regulate weapons of mass destruction, as we can see the fragility of human life demonstrated with the Zeon’s ambush attack in episode 1 in which the citizens could only run. Without the Federation’s own mech to combat the Zaku, Side 7 would’ve been overtaken from the get go due to the lack of technology or defense, which in some ways draws parallels to the bombings on Japan that would ultimately force them to surrender during WW2. While I was reading Lamarre’s Introduction, the first thought I had was that this guy really loves discussing the technology behind animation and there were some parts where I wasn’t following along too much, but there were elements that I did understand. For instance, Lamarre mentions the machines and apparitions we utilize to create media ultimately affect how we digest it, such as the train example he gives, where we no longer have the feeling in which we are moving forward when we see the animation outside the train, and instead take it in as a output device which we interpret comprehensively. In his discussion of cel animation he draws upon a similar concept, although it would be the inverse of the train analogy, as the viewer (or camera) is stationary, and it's the physical movement of the elements in front of it that establish the animation. Luckily I already understood how older animation worked so when Lamarre explained it I could visualize it, but essentially the camera, as it ultimately has a single point of seeing, relies upon a phenomenon called the parallax effect, where things that are further in stance appear to move slower as it takes longer to leave your field of vision, and things that are closer move quicker because it leaves your field of vision quicker. In animation, the frames are separated by layers depending on its perceived depth (like foreground, midground, background) and are moved at a speed relative to their perceived distance. Lamerre also mentions this but Disney invented the multiplane camera, which took this concept and elevated it by having dedicated racks for each layer, which could be moved up and down, which meant that to the camera, not only do the layers move at different speeds, but can now enlarge and shrink. We can see this parallax technique is used throughout Mobile Suit Gundam, such as in the first scene of the intro, when Amuro runs into center screen at a fast pace, while the background moves at a constant speed, even after he goes into slow-motion (in this case the parallax was more abstract). I know Lamerre’s paper was published 2009, but I also wanted to note that a lot of modern animation has transitioned away from hand drawn animation and now utilize 2D softwares, although the same concept of utilizing z-space is still present.

[csmeanerr]

(Stygian-Shade, but also applies as a general vent) I fucking hate it when someone joins a server and immediately grind every damn quest and prompt with their shit art then start acting like a veteran with their bank. And even worse when immediately start demanding for things in the suggestion channel as if they've been here for years. It's just so unfortunate that since art is subjective, experienced artists can't exactly press an "extra polish" button for extra rewards on CS prompts. So we have to watch as beginner or new artists grind and finish quests that were meant to be complete in a matter of months or years in a few days with maximum point output because they can just draw some flat lines with a flat "background" much easier and quicker at that stage. If I were to attempt something like that with my existing portfolio that shit would get rejected or judged for laziness, understandably. Someone who pretty much just started in art recently grinded almost 1k worth of shadow tokens in quest commissions within what may be a week and above. What the fuck. And we know people buying don't give a shit about the art quality and just want quests done in the shortest time possible. Yet it's impossible for regular artists to even think about getting this level of output without breaking their fingers.

I'm not trying to blame anyone it's just maddening to see in general, my skills just feel so fucking devalued. Heck, even the whales in Stygians still can't bear to offer even a SINGLE REAL LIFE DOLLAR when looking for quest art in the server (5 gacha pulls for a piece of quest art, really?). And I know this is a hot topic so people will start trying to refute by making me sound like an asshole. "buh buh buhttt" No. I don't care. Put yourselves in our shoes. This whole thing is shit. (Sorry for the long rant. Do not post if off anon please)

it's a difficult balancing act with a community full of so many people

[rosalilly23]

Laser cutting

Taking these templates I tried to come up with ideas for my own laser cut background. I didn't really know what to do for these initially. I had an image in my head of a Robin on a branch in front of a city, and I made a really quick doodle of what I imagined. After I drew the city background I realised it might not work the way I imagined. I also wasn't feeling the city background.

So, the I changed my mind and wanted to do a moutain background and imagined a little lake in the foreground with a boat on it. I thought it'd be fun to add a duck in the very front.

After drawing them, I added them all on top of each other so I could test how they would look and adjust the size. I'm glad I did this because I wasn't happy with some of the sizes.

Then I put them all on separate templates at the correct size. I found making this on these templates a little confusing at first. I found it easier once I removed the lines I didn't need, then I could imagine my drawing as if it was a cut out tab. I'm hoping this comes together well and I didn't make any mistakes, but it will be a lesson for next time if I ever chose to use this again.

End result

I'm really pleased with how this came out. I didn't get to do the duck, but now I know how to do this process I can use it again if I want to.

After learning about laser cutting, I see why it would be useful. Yes I could have cut these two pieces out myself but if I was making more than one (like a product to sell) then I'd need much more. Then it would be much quicker to make a file I can laser cut out onto the material and save loads of time. And it can cut more precisely than maybe we can when it comes to difficult areas and small details.

It can also engrave which I don't think I could really do, so it's great for adding in details without having to remove all of the paper.

Some things I learnt from doing this is to be careful of making the areas too small. Like the master of the ship, it's quite delicate, I won't be surprised if it breaks off. Another thing that I would change if I did this again was that there isn't a bend tab in the sail, but it's placed over the middle so it doesn't fold like the rest of it. Next time I'll be careful to place the sail off to the side so it won't need a fold, or just add the fold to it next time.

[belindathemarimba]

🤪

WEEK 2

Max Reger’s

Modulation

Continuation from last week

I didn’t really understand the realistic purpose of this in the beginning, I didn’t think I’d actually actively use this method whilst composing. However I’m starting to see the appeal during this lesson

I kinda think of this method as more of ‘trouble-shooting’ and finding the missing puzzle pieces (the chords) between keys, I understand it when the examples are shown, but I struggle with finding the solution on my own, I’ll need to practice this more independently🥲

Need to familiarise myself more with common borrowed chords and the N6ths etc… to be able to see the relationships between chords quicker

I also see the unique difference between this and a composer like bruckner who uses a lot of chromatic enharmonic chords as pivots, and makes more use of voicings as compared to progressions like in the max reger one

Recital Concept

I’m set on using the book ‘The Night Circus’ as my main inspiration

The book is very cinematic and whimsical in nature, it has love stories, magic and everything so there is a lot to draw from to compose!

It also gives me more leeway to do more theatrical things🤩

I already have an idea for the intro, the idea is to have someone narrate the opening passage of the book to set the mysterious and whimsical tone, and have some EM ‘DOOOOOOOOO, WEEWOO’ stuff going on in the background and maybe sparse lines from some instruments ? Not quite sure how it’s gonna sound yet, but I have the general mood and idea in my head. I have to discuss with G and Yong en what are the possibilities and work from there

The opening passage is:

‘The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it, no paper notices on downtown billboards, no mentions or advertisements in local newspapers. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. The towering tents are striped in white and black, no golds and crimsons to be seen.

I definitely want to play guitar for at least 1 section, so I’ll probably have maegan conduct for me, and I’ll finally get to use a top hat in a performance 🤠

I also have an idea to use the concept of reverse effects in this program. I initially only thought of using reverse gates and effects on the electronic side, but during class I was reminded of using retrograde and inversion as well!

24/08/23

[moon-lixie]

"Were you this touch deprived?" The amusement could be easily missed in between the calm of your voice that threatened to melt under his fingertips.

"Yes," he answered immediately, no time for thinking needed, "when it comes to you I'm always touch deprived, I can never get enough of you."

word count: 1.970k

genre: fluff, Hyunjin x gn reader.

song: Wrong About Forever - Jeff Bernat

Every great waltz has its spins that make you feel like you're flying as the music pushes you further, Hyunjin wasn't a stranger to this concept, nor was he ignorant to the part in which the two people dancing move apart, stretching their arms as far apart as physically possible while their hands stay clasped together.

He, more than anybody, knew what it was to dance, to give yourself to music and get lost quicker than he could even realise.

What he wasn't familiar with were the matters of the heart, at that he had always been clumsy and hesitant, comparing love to a dance.

That's exactly why he could never understand when you walked away; his mind couldn't wrap itself around the concept of you leaving for good, in his heart there was always hope for a last dance.

Your face was carved into his memory, he could draw your every feature down on paper as easily as he could dance with his eyes closed.

Loving you wasn't a rational decision, it was an impulse, something he had grown to adore despite the difficulties it brought along.

The music filling the room suddenly faded, leaving behind the thrumming of his heart reverberating in his eardrums.

He had to admit there was always a bitter taste when that moment arrived, his body not being able to push any further and the music coming to an end.

If it was his decision then he would spend every second of his life doing the things that he loved, without the need of a break, without knowing what an ending meant.

But wishful thinking only ended up hurting his heart, bruising it carelessly as if he wasn't the type to hope on behalf of the entire world.

With a loud exhale he allowed himself to relax, shoulders loosening and eyes opening slowly, as if rushing through the process would be a mistake.

The first thing he saw was his reflection, the rolled sleeves of his shirt, hair clamped together on the front of his face because of his effort, lips parted and chasing an extra breath.

His surroundings were one of those places that gave comfort due to the long time it had been the background of his happiness, his passion for what he did had been sprawled all across the room.

Dragging his feet across the wooden floor, he scrambled to gather his things, barely remembering to grab his phone that had been discarded on the couch when he arrived if it hadn't been for the light buzzing sound coming from it.

The device loomed like a threat over his heart, having the ability to mend everything or put an end to one of those things he loved with an inimaginable fervor.

An unseen message had been sent in blue, waiting impatiently despite not being the first one sent between the both of you.

You had contacted him first; after two weeks of radio silence you had sent four words his way, typical of you.

'Can I call you?' It was unknown to him how long he had spent staring at the dark screen, forcing his eyes to trace the eleven characters that shaped your unorthodox way of asking for forgiveness.

Forgiveness for what? That he no longer knew, perhaps this time you had gotten scared of how ever so well you two worked together and that's why you had decided to walk away, or maybe there was a chance you had just gotten tired of him, again.

The game the both of you played didn't feel like the typical love he saw portrayed in movies but he couldn't find it in him to care, after all, dancing around you had never bothered him in the slightest.

With trembling fingers he had typed an answer, one word, three letters, a simple affirmation.

He tried to be quick, direct and concise; searching the deepest corners of his mind for the answer that could please you the most and immediately regretting the dry response.

But what had been done already wasn't something that should trouble his mind, even if it came to you, the person he craved to have by his side the most.

So, he had abandoned the mobile as soon as he stepped foot in the dance studio, leaving it screen against the couch in hopes that would soothe his anxious heart if only for long enough to enjoy his dancing.

Now that it buzzed with the call that could be the one he couldn't help but walk cautiously forward and take deep breaths before picking up.

"You're done with dance practice, right?" If he had ever wanted to get high on something, it was your voice, along with every single detail about you.

His lips curled into a satisfied smile. "Oh, so you do remember my number?"

A dry chuckle resonated on the line, forcing his mind to picture the scowl twisting the features of your beautiful face, portraying the guilt you never owned up to in front of him.

"Are you free?" Of course you would dodge his comment, but yet again, he couldn't bring himself to care, simply humming in affirmation.

"Okay, then see you in a bit."

Dumbfounded, an amused laugh found its way out of his lips. "Should I know what you mean by that?"

The harmless exasperation painted itself across your every word as you answered. "Do I really need to spell it out for you, Hwang?"

He was inexperienced when it came to love, very much so, but he was an expert when it came to you, always knowing what you meant, what you wanted, the things you needed.

Walking in the direction to your apartment he answered, "I'm afraid yes, I can't know what you mean if you don't explain it, now can I?"

You laughed annoyed, staying in silence for a moment; he couldn't have pushed things far enough yet, he could never, because you happened to love him just as much as he loved you.

"I miss you, okay? Happy now?"

"Very," he said, lips curling in a lovesick grin that shielded him even from the way you abruptly ended the call.

No matter how much you tried to walk away from him, suddenly cutting yourself from his life, you always came back, always stayed in the tiniest of details around him.

Perhaps that had been his mistake, to accept you even with that quirk of getting cold feet, because if only he had stopped it at once then it wouldn't have become a habit, a necessary routine.

But to love is to get tangled so awfully that you can't find your way out, only further falling into the mess of affection and longing.

The two of you just had your special way of working and tackling things, for instance, you hadn't talked to him for half a month and still your spare key remained under the pot of his favourite flower of yours.

Victory grin plastered on, he reached for the metal piece, opening the door of your apartment as if it were his very own home.

Alerted by his steps at the entrance you came to greet him, arms crossed over your chest as if to keep a final barrier between you and the man that owned your heart.

"I missed you too." Was the very first thing he said once he found your eyes staring right at his; it made you smile and he felt accomplished.

"Of course you did." His words melted you in an instant, making you move closer to him and take his hand in yours. "You always do."

And how could he not? How could he bring himself not to miss someone like you? Someone whose mere presence was intoxicating, seeping inside his muscles and veins, putting his being at ease.

Gently, he allowed the pads of his fingers to trace the outline of your nose, your lips, your chin, before leaning in towards you.

A firm hand against his chest stopped him on his track, causing a question to paint his face with confusion.

"You're all sweaty and you stink." You scrunched your nose adorably, as if actually bothered by his smell. "Go take a shower."

"But I want to kiss you first." A pout made his lips stand out, well aware that it sometimes worked wonders with convincing you.

"Nope, no kisses while you're all smelly." And just like that the both of you were back to normal, not caring to drag things for longer than they should with explanations or apologies that fell into deaf ears.

Against your petition he moved forward and embraced you in his arms, suddenly set on stone in making you squeal in complaint.

Moments later dragging you towards the bathroom despite the verbal refusal that didn't match with your eager steps trailing behind him.

Leaving his things forgotten on the entrance along with whatever fear he had harbored in his heart about this time being the time you would leave his side for good, he closed the bathroom door and kissed you.

Your lips felt unfairly soft against his, warm as a blanket that shielded people from every possible unfavorable outcome life could have prepared for them.

Sure hands moving to clasp on the hem of your shirt, slowly moving it upwards the further he got lost into the kiss.

Piece by piece he undressed the both of you until you were down to heart and soul, truths lying bare for eyes to pry and discover the biggest vulnerability in them.

Knowing the place as well enough as his own home, he turned around to set the water into the perfect temperature for the both of you, never cold.

Then he led you like you needed to be held, careful and attentive, eyes never leaving yours in a new attempt to learn every detail embedded in your pupils.

He turned you around, pressing your back against his chest and hugging you close until there was no space in between, his lips finding the way to your shoulder, pressing soft kisses meant to fix any remnants of doubt.

"Were you this touch deprived?" The amusement could be easily missed in between the calm of your voice that threatened to melt under his fingertips.

"Yes," he answered immediately, no time for thinking needed, "when it comes to you I'm always touch deprived, I can never get enough of you."

He couldn't be more honest even if he was asked to testify in court and make a pledge that allowed him to say nothing but the absolute truth, because he loved you with an intensity that sometimes could be mistaken as meek due to it's soft and innocent nature.

Hyunjin loved you the way someone loves something unobtainable, innocent and patiently, willing to wait entire lifetimes for stars to align and give him the pleasure of being in your presence.

Your hands moved to rest atop his where they were clasped together against your bare torso, thumbs escaping to rub soothing circles into your skin.

Trailing kisses up your neck he allowed himself to hope that every one of his touches reverberated with warmth all the way to your heart in the same fashion that yours did to him.

For you he would learn how to love properly, he would even understand to let go if that was what you truly wanted at some point in the future.

"I love you." The words felt like dripping honey as they slipped in between his lips for the very first time.

"I love you too," you answered, not even leaving time for him to panic at the sudden frankness with which his deepest sentiment had been revealed.

For a love like yours, he would always wait, always fight to make things better.

[jayeray-twst]

How He Shows You Affection: Cater Diamond

Warnings: None all fluff!

He Takes Pictures of You

“Say strawberry!” Cater ordered with a toothy grin, as he snagged you around the waist and pulled you close, pressing your cheeks together with his arm extended out, holding his phone.

Several months of dating meant you were now quick enough on the draw to smile at the camera for the first snap of the shutter and were even quicker to turn your face to the side, pressing an affectionate kiss to your boyfriend’s cheek before he managed to hit the button again.

“Babe!” he whined a playful lilt to his voice that probably would’ve fooled most, but you saw right through it to the faint blush on his cheeks and the warm look in his eyes.

Cater always got a little flustered when you did little things like that to catch him off guard, which was only fair in your opinion considering how much he did it to you. Your boyfriend had enjoyed flustering you, and gone out of his way to tease, and flirt just to see if he could.

“Let me see?” you asked, making grabby hands at his phone. He immediately passed it over without complaint, pulling you into his arms and resting his chin on your shoulder so he could see the screen too as you looked at the photos he’d taken.

The first was pretty cute, with wide beaming smiles on both your faces, but the second one definitely stole the show. As per usual, even when caught off guard Cater managed to take the picture at the perfect moment, just as your lips brushed his cheek. His eyes were wide with surprise and there was the beginnings of a blush on his cheeks.

“Cute,” you cooed, pleased with the way it had come out, “You going to post that on MagiCam?”

“You know me so well,” he teased, giving you an affectionate squeeze around the middle before accepting his phone back, “We really take the best pictures together babe!”

“If you say so,” you told him lightly.

“I do say so!” he informed you, one hand still holding you to him as his clever fingers tapped away at the screen of his phone one handed, “You’re so photogenic it should be against the rules!”

You huffed in affectionate amusement. Honestly you were pretty sure the only reason you came out looking half so good in all the photos Cater took of the two of you was because he had an eye for it. Cater’s ability with a camera was exemplary, enough to put professionals to shame in your own opinion and frankly you were more than a little flattered that his favorite subject seemed to be you.

His timeline on MagiCam was full to the bursting of pictures of you, doing everything and anything under the sun, almost all of them candid or taken with only a split second’s notice and yet somehow you looked good in all of them. Not only that, but all the pictures were tagged with flattering words about how amazing you looked and how blessed he was to have you and to be your boyfriend.

Looking at it never failed to make you feel warm inside. MagiCam was a huge part of Cater’s life, and when it came to his content you were front and center. It was like his entire timeline was a testament, his own unspoken way of showing his devotion to you more eloquent than any words could ever be. After all if a picture was worth a thousand words than Cater had written entire epochs on how much he adored you.

“Alright all uploaded!” he cheered, pulling you from your fond thoughts and twirling you around in his arms with a bright laugh, “Now that, that’s done we should probably go check up on the A-Deuce combo. They’re supposed to be painting the roses, but knowing the two of them…”

You laughed in agreement and let him drag you off to go check on Heartslabyul’s two most troublesome first years, feeling immensely fond of your boyfriend.

Later when you were scrolling through your own social media you weren’t surprised to find the picture of the two of you from earlier beaming smiles at the camera, tagged with mushy cute things like #loveofmylife, #smilebabe, #aren’twecute?. However the picture of you kissing his cheek was missing.

You fully intended to ask him about it the next day, right up until you caught sight of his phone again. The picture was there both in his background and as his lock screen staring you in the face. You honestly couldn’t do anything in the face of that besides melt and give your sweet boyfriend an affectionate kiss, feeling completely and utterly adored.

He Tells You (And Only You)

Cater was the kind of guy who flirted with everyone, so at times it could be hard to take his words seriously. Compliments like beautiful, wonderful, and precious were a dime a dozen, and not limited to just you either. His whole personality seemed to be exuberant, extroverted and friendly, the kind of guy who had friends everywhere because he had no trouble making friends. He felt almost unreal with how perfect he was.

There were times, especially at the beginning of your relationship that it had made you incredibly insecure. Cater was popular, both through MagiCam and just in general, and you had no idea why he’d want to be with you of all people when it seemed like he could have anyone he wanted. In the face of your worries his words almost felt insincere, shallow and hollow, as if he didn’t really mean them because he said them to everyone he met.

However, the longer you were with him the more you realized something incredibly important. Despite the compliments that fell from his lips at the drop of a hat Cater never, ever used the word love. Sure there was an implication of love, as he said things like “I adore this’ or ‘I’m wild about that’. He said ‘I’m captivated’ or ‘I’m infatuated’ or ‘I’m enthralled’ but never ever ‘I’m in love.’

It was like the words were anathema to him, almost as if he couldn’t bring himself to say it at all. It was then you realized, slowly but surely that a lot of the face he showed to the world was a carefully crafted mask. Just as you’d suspected no one could be quite that perfect, happy and friendly all the time.

Cater got frustrated, anxious and annoyed just as anyone else did, he was just much better at hiding it. There was also a pretty vicious side to him, one that could hurl lethal insults wrapped in so many honeyed words that only those who were looking for it or really paying attention to him noticed.

Funnily enough this actually made you relax. It humanized him, and made him seem more relatable rather than the near perfect being he’d seemed before. Once you realized how much he was hiding you carefully did your best be worthy of his trust, so he could have a safe place to rest. After all keeping up a cheerful mask at all times sounded utterly exhausting to you no matter how good he was at it.

Slowly but surely, he’d begun to let his walls down, coming to you when he had a rough day, sitting in silence with you, cuddling with you, enjoying quiet little moments that you once would’ve thought he’d hate. Instead Cater seemed to relish these stolen moments with you, and as you began to truly see each other for who you were rather than the face you both showed the world you finally got to hear it.

Love. A word he admitted he hadn’t quite believed in and so had never bothered to say. A word he felt was trite and meaningless because of how often it was said over every little thing. A word you’d managed to change his mind about, one that was special and intimate and meant only for the two of you.

“I love you,” you murmured to your boyfriend as the two of you lay cuddled together on his bed, curled up and quietly watching movies together on his laptop. It was something you didn’t say nearly as often these days, as you’d slowly adapted to Cater’s way of thinking that saying it about too many things cheapened the meaning in a lot of ways.

“I love you too,” he assured you, equally quiet, his normal exuberance set aside in placed of utmost sincerity, the words so real and rare on his tongue that you had no choice but to believe them.

He’d only ever said them to you, only ever planned to say them to you, a word that was meant for you and you alone, a little piece of his heart with your name stamped clearly in ownership. It was a privilege you savored and treated with the utmost care, it was the very least you could do to prove your own affections for your boyfriend who cared so very much.

He Makes Things For You

“How do I look?” you asked your boyfriend shyly as you emerged from the dressing room.

Normally trying on clothes with Cater was a lot of fun. Even if you didn’t enjoy shopping all that much Cater made it into an experience. He had an extremely good eye for what would look good on someone and what wouldn’t. and put a lot of interesting things together. He was also perceptive enough to know what would make you uncomfortable and what wouldn’t, and work within your comfort zone.

It made him the idea shopping partner, and lots of fun, especially since he was more than happy to try on anything you asked for him as well. Honestly it was a bit unfair just how good Cater looked in pretty much everything. There were a few times you’d purposefully tried to pick silly things and yet, whether it was sheer force of personality or because he was simply that handsome he always seemed to look good. Still it was fun to try, and the two of you always had a good time together, laughing and teasing joyfully, and you almost never left empty handed.

This however was different. Cater had always had an eye for fashion, and had occasionally dabbled in making his own clothing. However, he’d never really taken it all too seriously before, despite the fact that perfectionist Riddle recognized his talent and had let him design the outfits for when they had to dress up for unbirthday parties.

Despite that, it had never occurred to you that Cater might want to try designing something for you. However he’d apparently wanted to do just that, as he’d shyly approached you with the suggestion when you’d complimented some of his work. That in itself had let you know how very important this was to him. Cater was never shy, so the fact that he’d been so hesitant to ask said a lot.

Which was of course why you’d agreed without a moment’s hesitation. Honestly even if he hadn’t been so shy about it you would’ve said yes. Cater knew your style inside and out and you trusted him more than words could say.

Your trust turned out to be well founded, and the outfit he’d made for you was utter perfection. It was done in colors that flattered your skin, eyes and hair, and had a cut that flattered your figure. You weren’t sure you’d ever felt so simultaneously beautiful and comfortable before. You absolutely loved it, you just hoped Cater loved it too.

“You look beautiful,” Cater told you, quick on the mark as ever with a compliment as he hopped up from the couch he’d been waiting on, “But then again you always do.”

You huffed at that, but didn’t protest as he circled around you, holding still so he could view you from all angles.

“Do you like it?” he asked, once he reached your front again, uncharacteristically shy again.

“Cater are you kidding I love it!” you told him fiercely, not willing to let any sort of insecurity stand.

“Pretty sure you’d have to say that even if it was ugly babe,” Cater told you a little wryly.

“I wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings,” you conceded, unwilling to lie, especially when you knew how much Cater valued honesty, but also unwilling to back down, “But in this case I’m definitely not exaggerating! Have you seen me?!”

You twirled in front of him arms spread for emphasis, “I look amazing! I feel amazing which, as you’ve told me, is just as if not more important! If you don’t believe me we can march right over to Pomefiore and get Vil. I’m sure you’d believe him!”

“No need for that,” Cater told you with a huff of amusement, his eyes warm and full of affection as he gently tugged you to him, his warm hands clasping your elbows as he peered into your eyes, “You really do like it babe?”

“I really, really do,” you answered him, with all the sincerity you could muster, “So much so I might just have to wear it every day. I’m not sure my other clothes could ever compare.”

“No need to go that far,” he insisted, though the bright look in his eyes belied the words, “I can always make you more.”

“So long as it doesn’t put you out,” you replied, “I’d love to wear your clothes Cater, anywhere anytime.”

Your boyfriend gave you one of his rare soft smiles, tugging you into his arms and just holding you, clearly grateful for what you’d said. You hugged back, quietly scheming to yourself determined to help Cater realize how talented he was. He deserved it, but in the mean time you would simply savor how much he clearly loved and trusted you, letting you be his first real model. You really couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend than Cater Diamond and you were now even more determined to make sure he knew just how much you adored him in return.

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[dracowars]

ten years apart | anakin skywalker

pairing: anakin x reader

word count: 6,0k

summary: where anakin comes back after ten years

a/n: i'm so sorry for the length but i just couldn't stop writing :( please get a drink and snack before reading this hella long os <3

warnings: angst, mentions of blood

universe: star wars

Exhaling heavily, you throw the garbage bag into the shaft and push it down with all your strength. Beads of sweat have already formed on your forehead which you wipe away with the back of your hand. It is, again, incredibly hot on Tatooine today and the unbearable heat has been beating your mind and body all day. But what temperatures can you expect from a desert planet, right?

The desert planet of hell, as you like to call it. Disgusting creatures, pirates, bounty hunters and actually all kinds of insidious henchmen cavort here in Mos Espa. The city you grew up in. The city you have always been stuck in and probably will be stuck in for the rest of your life. You come from a small and poor family, no money to escape this hell, always having to work hard to survive.

And yet you had a better life than other children here. Because you were lucky enough to not get sold as a slave. Your parents could always raise enough money - often in ways you do not support - to save you. Even though you are more than grateful, you cannot help but to sometimes wonder what would have happened if. If you became a slave, maybe just maybe, you might have met the same lucky fate as him.

It has been ten long lonely years since the two Jedi Masters Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi were stranded on Tatooine and seeked help. You were still very young, therefore you can barely remember their faces. But you definetely do remember the face of him, Anakin Skywalker. The little boy from Tatooine.

How could you ever forget him? He was the nicest, bravest and most courteous boy you have ever met in your life. You always knew that something about him was different. The way he acted, the way he thought. There was just something about him that fascinated you and before you knew it you had developed a small crush on him. You got along well and you loved to watch him when he was working on his droid yet again. He always told you about his dreams, how he wanted to help, how much he wanted to get away from this dump called Tatooine. With his mother.

And with you.

Anakin and his mother Shmi Skywalker were slaves and belonged to Watto, one of the many junk dealers and human traffickers of Mos Espa. Even though they must have had a terrible life, Anakin always stayed positive. The smile on his dirt-stained face when he was building on his droid was priceless and you can see it in front of you as if it was yesterday. In fact, it has been ten years.

Ten years since the Jedi Masters took Anakin with them to train him as a Padawan in the ways of the Jedi. You were happy for him, you really were. He was finally able to leave this terrible planet and live a better life elsewhere. But to a certain price, since he had to go without his mother and also without you, his best friend.

"Y/N! These tables do not clean themselves!", a voice calls for you from inside and you just roll your eyes before leaving the heat outside, entering the building again. Inside, the musty smell of smoke greets you, low music plays in the background and you go straight towards the round bar in the middle of the room. This is the most popular hotspot of Mos Espa: the infamous Twin Sun, a bar in the center of the city. The place where the creepiest species float around, where the dirty business is done.

You absolutely hate your job in the bar. Every day you have to tidy up and serve under worst conditions. Especially in the later hours of the evening, when it is completely overcrowded, you are running back and forth every second, receiving disgusting comments from the guests. However, hardly anyone is here in the early morning and you have to only take care of the leftovers from the previous day. Unfortunately though, you have to endure this kind of job.

Your parents, who always saved you from the worst, are too old and weak now to raise money themselves and you felt obliged to take on this role. That is also the reason why you have several jobs at the same time. In addition to working in the Twin Sun, you also work at some booths at the weekly market and when you are lucky, you can sometimes even help out on the farms outside of the city. It is the only way to ensure your family's survival.

While you are about to wipe the empty tables, the roaring unpleasant noises of podracers echo through the building, sweeping through the bar like an earthquake, and the following loud cheers of the audience can hardly be overheard. The race is also a reason why it is exceptionally empty here today. Almost every living creature in Mos Espa is in the Grand Arena, cheering on their favorite, probably making some bets beforehand.

Personally, you hate these races more than anything.

Besides being totally unfair and dangerous, it is really just about the money - the money you do not own. The same participant always wins and despite your hatred of these races, you watched one of them for the first and last time when Anakin himself participated, won and was thus able to free himself from slavery. Only his mother remained on Tatooine but he promised he would come back and rescue her once he is a fully trained Jedi.

It has now been ten years and he has still not shown up.

Well, maybe he did show up after all, just did not look for you as he initinally promised. Maybe he only picked up his mother, not you.

A few years ago you had to watch how his mother got sold at the weekly market, but the buyer actually seemed very nice and later you found out that he even gave her freedom and took her as his wife. The man called Cliegg Lars used to come to the bar regularly until a few weeks ago. Does Anakin know, or can he maybe even feel, what happened?

"What do you think you are doing?! Finally work for your money or I will kick you out!", the bartender, who is also your boss, suddenly yells at you and pulls you out of your thoughts. "Sorry", you huff out and continue to clean up the tables at a quicker pace. It is a day like any other day. At least that is what you thought.

After you have cleaned all the tables you stand behind the bar and tidy up the glasses. Meanwhile it is already in the afternoon and the bar is much more crowded than it was this morning, which means more work for you. However, for some inexplicable reason, you are very distracted today, your mind always wandering off, and when you do not pay attention for a tiny second, a glass slips out of your hand and shatters into a million pieces.

"Watch out!", your boss grumbels at you immediately, only waiting for such an opportunity. Quietly cursing under your breath, you pick up some of the broken pieces. With a hiss you reflexively pull back your hand after accidentally cutting yourself on a sharp piece. Quickly, you put the small bleeding area against your lips to stop the blood from flowing.

"A table just got free back there! Clean it", your boss orders, not waiting for you to get up again as he almost throws the wet cloth into your face. Trying to control the rising anger inside of you as best as possible, you stand up, dispose of the broken pieces and make your way to said table. When you reach it, you have an uncomfortable feeling all of a sudden, a feeling of someone watching you. You turn around but do not see anyone looking into your direction. Shaking off the weird feeling, you take care of your task and then go back behind the counter to do your work while you hear your boss talking loudly to one of the guests on the other side.

"Watto, Watto.. Never heard of him before", he says thoughtfully over the music. You frown irritated and bend over to be able to see your boss. He is talking to a young, handsome man who seems quite determined about finding Watto. "Buy something or get out of here, kid!", your boss suddenly threathens, but the young man seems pretty unimpressed. Nevertheless, he turns around and leaves but not without your eyes meeting first. His blue eyes shimmer in the weak light and while turning away, he pulls the brown hood of his cloak over his head.

Even though your boss did not call you for help, something deep inside of you tells you to help this unknown, mysterious man. After all, you actually know Watto. You worked for him in your younger years until he went bankrupt eventually. Therefore, it is very uncommon and suspicious for someone to ask for him.

You put everything aside right away and go to your boss, who seems to be in an extremely bad mood today. "I take my break now", you quickly let him know and without giving him a chance to answer, you already head towards the entrance. When you arrive outside, you take a look around and spot the young man just a few meters away from you. Running after him, you gently tug on his sleeve to draw his attention to you.

"Excuse me", you stop him in his tracks and he turns to you with confusion written all over his face. "I heard you ask my boss about Watto in the bar. I know where to find him."

His face seems even more surprised now and he raises his eyebrows. "Really?", he asks, a hint of hope in his voice. You nod in agreement. "Can you lead me to him?", he resolutely asks and you nod again.

"You do not look like you are from here. What do you want from Watto?", you ask him curiously and go ahead to lead the way while he follows right behind you. "That is not important and also none of your business, I think", he replies emotionless, only looking ahead and not at you. You are a little taken aback by his harsh words but decide that it is best to not ask any more questions. He seems quite serious about it and somehow you still cannot get rid of this strange feeling inside of you.

You lead the way to the market, where some stalls are set up, and finally find Watto at his regular place in the shade of a house. He sits on a small chair and is currently busy examining a screw in his hand as you both approach him. Watto raises his gaze when he realizes that someone is walking towards him and as soon as he recognizes you, he flutters into the air excitedly.

"Oh! I have not seen you in a long time", he laughs and looks at the unknown man next to you. "There is someone who was looking for you, Watto", you explain in Huttese and point to the young man next to you, who bows his head slightly as if he could also understand what you are saying. Which is ridiculous, of course, because only Tatooine people can speak and understand Huttese.

Immediately Watto flies back, unsure whether he has done anything wrong. "Excuse me?", he trys hiding his nervousness, suspiciously looking at you.

Instead of telling Watto what he wants, he picks up a piece of equipment and fiddles with it. "Let me help you with that", he murmurs under his breath while actually speaking in Huttese, fixing the broken piece. "What? I do not know you! What can I do for you?", Watto grumbels but his eyes widen at once as he discovers something. "You look like a Jedi. Whatever it is.. I did not do it!"

A Jedi?

The next words abruptly catch you off guard and your heart completely stops beating.

"I am looking for Shmi Skywalker."

You look at him in shock as he pulls the hood down, Watto looking at him exactly the way you do as he finally lets out the words you were too scared to say.

"Ani? Little Ani?", Watto breathes out in astonishment, now using Basic instead of Huttese. When Watto then realizes that he fixed the broken piece, he happily jumps into the air. "You are Ani! You sure sprouted! A Jedi! Hey, maybe you couldda help wit some deadbeats who owe me a lot of money.."

"My mother."

"Oh, yes. Shmi.. she is not mine no more. I sold her", Watto confesses, obviously feeling uncomfortable about the situation while you are still not able to get out a word as they get stuck in your throat.

You were sure that you would never see Anakin again in your life, that he would have long forgotten about you. And now that he is actually back, that he is actually standing right next to you, you cannot believe it. He changed so much that you did not even recognize him.

And it seems he does not recognize you either.

"Sold her?"

"Years ago. Sorry, Ani, but you know, business is business."

"Who did you sell her to?"

"I-I do not remember, actually. I think it was a farmer, yeah, a moisture farmer probably", Watto stutters and his words pull you out of your trance all of a sudden, hitting a trigger in your head.

"His name, Watto."

"I-I think I do not know-"

"Cliegg", you mention softly, turning your gaze to Anakin whose brows are furrowed in confusion. "His name is Cliegg Lars."

"How could you-", Anakin starts, slowly becoming more tense, but as he looks at you more closely, at your face and in your beautiful glistening eyes, his expression suddenly softens. "Y/N?"

"Anakin", you say barely audible, trying to prevent your eyes from watering at hearing your name out of his mouth for the first time in years.

He does remember you. He did not forget about your existence.

You both cannot help but stare at each other for what feels like hours before he gently pulls you into his now very strong arms, hugging you tightly.

After all these years you were separated one would probably think that the hug would be uncomfortable and awkward. But it is far from that. Anakin's embrace is warm and soft, like it used to be when he was still here. He just got stronger and much taller since then.

He grew up.

On a whole different planet, far far away from you.

He has become a Jedi and fights for justice in the galaxy while you are still stuck on the same old planet, struggeling to keep your family alive.

"I can't believe it is actually you, Y/N!", Anakin gives you a warm smile after breaking the hug, his hands still resting on your forearms to keep you close while scanning you from the top to the bottom. "You have grown so much."

"I could say the same to you", you giggle, hiding your bright smile behind your hand while you blush. His blue eyes have become even brighter than you remember them and his face and stature in general look extremely healthy. If someone had told you years ago that Anakin would develop into such a handsome man, you almost would not have believed them. Yet, in your eyes he is still the same Anakin.

"And you are a Jedi", you mumble, pointing to the lightsaber attached to his belt under his brown cloak. Anakin continues to stare at you for a moment before finding his way back to reality.

"O-Oh yes. My lightsaber", he stumbles over his words and looks down at his weapon, but makes sure to completely hide it behind the fabric after that while clearing his throat. Slowly but surely it suddenly gets a bit awkward between you, none of you knowing what to say or where to start.

You have so much to tell him and still want to ask him so many question, but you do not know how.

"So, you know where my mother is?", Anakin finally speaks up again and breaks the silence, but with a question you did not quite hope for.

"It is very far outside of Mos Espa, yes. I can bring you there", you answer with a little sadness in your voice. Of course, he wants to find his mother after all these years.

"Hey! When you come back, make sure to visit me. Ani, I could really need some help, you know", Watto calls after you both as you show Anakin the way.

"He has not changed a bit", Anakin chuckles slightly next to you and follows you over the street, where you pass numerous creatures and vehicles.

"We need a vehicle to get there", you absently speak to yourself while searching for a suitable one. "Or a Dewback works too."

"A landspeeder sounds good", Anakin immediately answers after you end your sentence, almost interrupting you. With raised eyebrows you look at him sceptically.

"What happened to your sense of adventure?"

"I got older, I guess", he sighs and you hear out some sadness in his voice for the split of a second, but you tell yourself that it must have been your imagination.

"We all did", you mumble and finally agree to take a landspeeder instead of a dewback, even though it is much more expensive. However, Anakin insists on paying and after doing so you sit in the passenger seat, patiently waiting for him to join you and start driving.

At high speed you whiz over the dry sand and out of the city towards the seemingly endless outback. From time to time you glance over at Anakin, who does not look at you once, not even when you tell him the directions. When you catch yourself staring at him for longer than a second, you look away quickly but not without noticing the changes in his apperance.

His face has become much more striking and his hair got darker. The dark brown cloak that is covering his body compliments his eyes and makes them shine even more.

On your way you drive past a group of Jawas with their Sandcrawler, who are currently busy taking apart an abandoned spaceship that has apparently been stranded out here.

After a few more minutes you finally reach the Lars homestead and get out of the speeder, Anakin giving you a helping hand that you shyly accept. He keeps his gaze on the dome in front of you though and you can feel the nervousness that suddenly emanates from him.

As soon as you both walk towards it, a girl, younger than Anakin and you, comes up the stairs after she has apparently heard your arrival. Which is honestly not very difficult out here regarding the fact nobody comes here that often.

"Can I help you?", she asks, concern in her voice, and the longer you look at her, the more familiar she gets until it clicks in your head. She is Cliegg's daughter-in-law. You have often worked together on the farm. It seems like she already recognized you as the concern in her face slowly fades.

"Beru, right? I often helped you out on your farm", you take a step towards her and she nods in agreement before glancing at Anakin, who is standing directly behind you.

"We are looking for Shmi", you explain and Beru's brows furrow, obviously confused as to why you search for her.

"She is currently at the market in Mos Eisley with my boyfriend. But they should be back any moment", she mentions and then points down the stairs behind her. "If you want, you can wait for her inside."

Accepting her offer, you follow her inside the dome and you are completely amazed when you arrive at the open pit, a crater housing a courtyard from which all rooms can be accessed. You saw the huge hole in the ground before but never paid attention to it.

You follow Beru into what seems to be a kitchen and she asks you to sit down, but before you are able to, Anakin suddenly turns around due to a noise and a man in a power chair appears behind you.

"Who are you? What do you want?", he asks grumpily and Anakin's grip around his lightsaber on his belt, probably a reflex, reduces as you step in between. "Oh, Y/N! It is you!"

"Good afternoon, Cliegg. I am sorry for our unannounced visit, but we are looking for your.. wife", you say, almost whispering your last words, your heart stopping for a moment when you realize Anakin does not even know his mother married this farmer.

"What?", Anakin asks, shocked, his eyes widened and his lips split while he takes a step forward.

"I am Cliegg Lars. Shmi is my wife. Then you must be my stepson", Cliegg introduces himself and offers Anakin a handshake, which gets refused as Anakin just stares at him in disbelief.

"How is that possible?", Anakin breathes, directing his gaze to the ground, and you discover how he fiddles with the sleeves of his cloak in despair.

"I bought her from Watto at that time and gave her freedom before I made her my wife", Cliegg explains calmly, also noticing Anakin's displeasure about the situation. "My son and Shmi are just-"

He does not get to finish his sentence when loud screams and shouts interrupt him out of nowhere, silencing all of you. A brief moment later you are already on your way back up, Anakin ahead.

Once at the top you spot another landspeeder that has stopped in the distance, fuming. Due to the bright sunlight it is difficult at first to see that two people approach you, followed by several aggressive, snarling Massiffs. Disgusting beasts from hell that usually only live in the mountains unless they have been tamed by Tusken Raiders for their own purposes.

Quickly, you come to the conclusion that they must have been attacked by Tusken Raiders, who are now chasing their pets after them. It takes another second until you all realize that these two people running towards you are none other than Anakin's mother and stepbrother.

"Owen!", Beru desperately exclaims next to you, hands covering her mouth in shock.

Without hesitation, Anakin and you sprint straight towards them at the same time, hoping to somehow help and save them. But when suddenly a blue light brightly erupts next to you, you almost forget to keep running.

Anakin now runs towards them with his ignited lightsaber, much faster than you, and reaches them in seconds. Positioning himself protectively in front of them, waiting until they have run past him, he kills one of the Massiffs with the single stroke of his deadly weapon.

"Y/N, get them to safety!", Anakin shouts while he is fighting with the Massiffs, and you obey his words, quickly escorting them back to their house.

Glancing back after you have brought them inside safely, Anakin has just fended off an attack and pushes the monster a few meters back through the air, his hand outstretched. Finally, yowling and panting, the few survivors retreat and if you would not have called out Anakin's name, you are sure he would have followed them.

Deactivating his lightsaber, he quickly comes back to you, his face flooded with anger and pain. However, instead of paying attention to you, he walks straight past you.

"Are you injured?", you catch his upper arm worriedly and bring him to a stop. Shaking his head, he immediately removes his arm from your grip and continues his way down the stairs. With a sigh, you follow him.

"Where is she?", Anakin asks emotionlessly when reaching the bottom of the stairs, stopping abruptly and causing you to accidentally run into him.

"Ani?", a quiet voice finally sounds and Shmi steps out.

"Mom", Anakin swallows hard and embraces her tightly in his arms as she comes running towards him. After ten long years, mother and son are finally reunited.

"Oh, you look so handsome", Shmi sobs and takes a closer look at Anakin, taking his face between her hands, whereupon Anakin places a kiss on her palm. "My son. Oh, my grown up son. I am so proud of you, Ani."

"I missed you", he sniffs in response and a few tears find their way down his, her and also your cheeks.

"You came back, I can't believe it", she happily smiles at him, pride showing in her eyes.

"Just like I promised", he gives her the same smile and they hug each other again.

"And you saved us. You truly became a Jedi", Shmi sobs and Anakin gives her a kiss on the forehead before her gaze falls on you for the first time. "Y/N! Thank you so much for bringing him here."

"Of course", you wipe away your happy tears and smile back at her.

"Let us eat something, children", Cliegg then suggests while already being on his way to the kitchen, followed by his son and daugther-in-law.

"You might want to freshen up. I will show you where you can", Shmi offers and leads you both through a hole in the wall into a medium-sized room before she reluctantly separates from Anakin.

"Show me your leg", you order as soon as Shmi is out of reach and he turns around to you in confusion. "Your leg, Anakin. I saw you limp."

"It is not that bad", he shrugs it off and puts his Jedi robe aside, revealing his broad shoulders.

"Please", you repeat again and stare at him worriedly until he is no longer able to hold your gaze and pulls up his pants to reveal his leg. You have to swallow hard when a gaping wound appears on his shin and it takes you a lot of self control to not scream at him right there.

"That has to be treated, Ani!", you rebuke him indignantly, but now he is the one who keeps staring at you until you notice what you have just said. "A-Anakin, I mean."

"N-No, no! It is okay. I like when you call me that, it just... it has been some time since you last did", he clears his throat and your cheeks turn into a slight shade of red.

"Y-Yes, a long time ago. But we have gotten older, like you said", you stutter out, trying to make the situation less awkward. "I will ask if they have Bacta patches here, fix you up and make my way home."

"What are you even talking about?", Anakin raises his voice all of a sudden, rather unintentionally as you notice in his subsequent expression, while he grabs your wrist tightly to keep you from walking away.

"You have just seen your mother for the first time in ten years. I am sure you have a lot to tell her and I do not want to stand in the way", you explain and place your hand on top of his to loosen his grip, but to no avail.

"But.. I want to tell you too, Y/N. You are forgetting that I saw you again for the first time in ten years as well. I do not want you to go now", Anakin admits and takes a step closer to you, his eyes pleading to not leave him. "Apart from that, I will certainly not let you go now when these monsters are out there."

Leaving you no choice and not even a chance to answer, he suddenly pulls you into a tight hug, much like he did with his mother.

"I missed you so damn much", he softly whispers and you can't help but smile while you wrap your arms around him.

"I missed you too, Ani", you mumble against his shoulder and claw your hands into the fabric of his clothes.

Although you already hugged each other when you first met today, this one feels much more intense than before. It makes you feel safe and warm and comfortable, a feeling that you have not felt on this planet for a long time. For ten years, to be exact.

The next morning, you tiredly step outside into the burning hot twin suns and follow the voices coming from the kitchen. You stayed awake late yesterday and Anakin told you everything. From start to finish, he explained everything about his training to you, everything that happened after he left ten years ago. You have eagerly listened to his stories about the numerous adventures and here and there caught yourself staring at him sadly but lovingly.

Even though he pretended to be strong while telling these heartbreaking stories, you could see that he is not. After all these long years you can still read it on his face in an instant. He was not strong after Qui-Gon Jinn was killed shortly after their departure and also not when he became Padawan of a Jedi who was almost still a Padawan himself. He was not strong when he has been seperated from his family and he still is not as strong as he pretends to be. No matter from which point of view you look at it, Anakin is still the little boy from Tatooine.

"Good morning", you yawn when you meet the Lars family in the kitchen.

"Sit down, Y/N. I made breakfast", Shmi happily greets you and puts a plate down for you on the table.

You have not seen Shmi this happy in a long time. You never met her often after Cliegg freed her from slavery, but when you did, she always looked very absent and, above all, sad. She seems like a whole different person now.

"If you are looking for Anakin, he is outside", Shmi mentions when she notices your mental absence. Shyly, you nod and give her a warm smile. After you have eaten up your breakfast, you make your way upstairs. Arriving outside, you briefly get blinded by the bright suns when the dome no longer offers you protection.

However, as soon as your eyes get used to the sunlight, your breath gets caught in your lungs when a huge spaceship appears in your field of vision. The ship landed just a few meters away from the farm, the boarding hatch open. You spot Anakin in front of it, deeply submerged in a conversation with another man.

Said man notices you right away and draws Anakin's attention to you with a subtle head movement. When Anakin then sees you and the worried expression on your face, he waves you over. Nervously, you set yourself in motion and approach them.

"What is going on here, Anakin?", you ask shyly after discovering a lightsaber on the other man's belt, quickly gesturing a bow with your head.

"This is my master, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Maybe you still remember him", Anakin introduces him to you and, in fact, you actually do remember his face.

"If this isn't the little girl from back then who watched us leave with such a heartbreaking expression", Obi-Wan loudly thinks and scratches his beard before patting Anakin's shoulder. "I will go ahead and meet Padmé on board."

At his words, an uncomfortable feeling of nervousness rushs through your body until it turns into a feeling of sheer fear. Not only because you remember the name and its associated, incredibly beautiful Queen of Naboo, - which Anakin also told you about in his stories - but also because you suddenly feel like your worst nightmare turns into reality.

"W-What does he mean by that?", you stutter out, not really wanting to hear an answer to your question, but Anakin gently puts his hands on either side of your cheeks to calm you down.

"The Jedi Order has called Obi-Wan and me back to Coruscant, along with the senator", Anakin sighs and sadly looks to the ground, his thumb lightly stroking your skin. "My mother is happy here and that is most important for me. I now know that she is fine and safe."

Transforming his words into sharp weapons, they painfully shoot through your heart and you take a step back immediately, breaking the body contact with him.

"But I am not, Anakin!", you yell at him desperately, much louder than originally intended, and he just looks at you in shock from your sudden outburst. "I am not fine since you left ten years ago! I can't do this anymore."

"Y/N-"

"No, do not touch me! Please", you sob and wrap your arms around your own body in order to protect you from further damage. "Would you- Would you have even searched for me at all if I had not found you first?!"

Breathing hard while accusing him, he remains quiet and does not answer. His eyes wander around, desperately seeking an appropriate answer that will not hurt you, but he terribly fails.

"That's what I thought", your voice breaks and a single tear runs down your cheek before you turn around and walk away. However, you do not get very far when you feel a firm grip on your arm and are turned around again to face him shortly afterwards, your bodies only inches away from each other.

"Come with me."

"W-What?"

"Come back to Coruscant with me, Y/N", he begs you, his voice full of sorrow.

"A-Ani-"

"I had a dream about my mother and about you. You were badly injured and I was too late to save you", Anakin confesses, desperation prominent in his coarse voice, opening up to you all of a sudden, letting his guard down and showing you his vulnerable side for once. "That is why I came back. That is why I am back on Tatooine."

"A-Anakin. I can't.. I have responsibilities here", you choke out and look away, not able to hold his pleading gaze while your hands and knees shake in fear. "I have to go back to my parents.. I can't just leave them like this."

Silence spreads between you until Anakin lifts your face up with his fingers on your chin, deeply looking into your eyes. Suddenly your fear is reflected in his glassy eyes. A fear you last saw all those years ago when he left. When he had to leave his mother and you behind. It is precisely this fear that is now reappearing in his eyes and all of a sudden the little boy from Tatooine is back, not wanting to leave his home.

"I understand", his shaky voice whispers as he is close to tears as well.

How much you would like to just go with him. To just leave everything behind and finally get off this dirty planet. But you know it would not be fair to your parents and that you can't just leave them behind. As much as you would love to go with Anakin, you would never forgive yourself if you did.

"I am really sorry, Ani", you carefully say and place your hands on his upper arms to steady yourself before he pulls you closer and places his chin on top of your head.

"I will come back", he breathes into your hair and his voice sounds so fragile in your ears that you can no longer hold back the pricking tears, letting them stream down your cheeks freely. "I promise."

"I will wait for you", you fake a smile through your tears before he gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead, leaving a warm spot there.

The following repeated exclamation of his name coming from his master makes your heart ache even more and Anakin takes a step away from you, breaking off any contact.

"See you soon", he forces a smile and slowly retreats backwards to the spaceship, not averting his gaze from you and repeatedly raising his hand to wave goodbye.

Your eyes filled with tears and your vision blurred, you watch him leave and say goodbye with a heavy heart.

After ten long years you were finally able to see him again. You were ten years apart and now you pray that it will not be another ten years until you meet again.

[aonesteddybear]

Seven Minutes

terushima yuuji x  female reader (super brief kuroo tetsurou x female reader)

warnings: frat!au, drinking, smoking (weed) mention, making out, semi-public sex (closet, and bathroom sex), oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, finishing inside partner with dubious consent??, 

word count: 5474

notes: this is for the nsfw hq server collab, which the prompt was "I wonder what he would do if he knew you were with me right now” terushima was one of two of the pieces i wrote for this collab, the other beingn akaashi. this was supposed to be porn-without-plot but ended up being porn-with-plot. keep an eye out for name drops, mentions, and background parings (such as super heckin brief kiyoko x yachi mention) be sure to check out the masterlist here and see all the other great writings and artwork done!

thanks for the beta @daishou-s​

The soft thrum of the bass had blood pounding in a soft rhythm in your head. The feeling of bodies pressed against you hot, sweat glistening over your skin as your friend swayed with you to the rhythm of the song playing. At the feeling of a hand on your hip, your eyes flicked to your friend, who gave a soft shrug in approval as you pressed back into the stranger who was bold enough to dance with you.

Although you couldn’t see him, his presence behind you was solid as he grinded against you to the beat of the music. “He’s in the frat,” your friend mouthed at you as she giggled behind her hand, and when you turned towards the stranger to see their face, your eyes had to flick upwards to look at the wall of the man there. 

He was pretty, dark hair partially hiding one of his eyes from view as he grinned down at you. “Hey, Kitten,” he called out over the music to you, hands finding their way back down to your waist as your hands were placed gently on the red fraternity jacket. “How are you doing?” 

You smirked at the cockiness of his attitude, rolling your eyes even as he pulled you flush to him forcing your arms to raise to rest on his shoulders. “Better now that you’re here.” You teased in response, and the man grinned in delight at your playful attitude.

“You can call me Kuroo for now,” He purred out, head dipping to speak directly to you, and you smirked in response. 

“Ok, Kuroo.”

One of his hands traced up your side, moving to trail along your jawline and tip it upwards as he bent down towards you, hesitating briefly as his head tilted slightly until you leaned up to press your lips into his. 

His hands moved back to your hips, pulling you further into him as he ground his hips into yours,  and your tongues mashed together. He let out an appreciative noise into your mouth as your fingers found purchase in his hair. 

A shout of his name over the music had you both pulling away as his eyes scanned over the crowd, landing on one of the other fraternity members who frantically waved at him to come over. He cursed under his breath, hesitating for a moment before he looked back down at you apologetically, “I’ll be right back.” He promised lightly, releasing his hold on you to push through the crowd.

Your friend grabbed your wrist pulling you into her as she giggled, drink sloshing out of her cup and onto her hand. She frowned briefly at it before her attention snapped back to you.

“Do you know who you just made out with?” she attempted to whisper but her voice came out too loud, audible to those around you, and you raised an eyebrow.

“‘Kuroo’?”

“No! Well...yes. But he’s Nekoma’s president!” She pointed out with a giggle, as if the name meant anything to you.

At your blank stare she frowned, tugging your head into hers. “He’s the president of the frat throwing this party, stupid.” She teased, voice light, and you shrugged, “So?”

“‘So?’ So if you get on his good side he can get us into all the best stuff! Also, they’re... ya know... rich.” She squealed, and you smirked, rolling your eyes. “I heard one of the brothers is like...a model. Or their sister is. Something like that…”

“I don’t care about that.” You admitted, “He probably is just trying to use me for body count then.”

She frowned at that, considering your words, but before you could respond, your other friend was rushing over, spilling out words about a game much quicker than your mind could comprehend. Then, she was grabbing both your hands and tugging you further into the house.

You stumbled after the two of them, ignoring the soft whistle of another frat member decorated in yellow as you passed him. Realizing he had caught your eye, he playfully stuck out a tongue at you, wiggling it as your eyes drifted down to it - or rather, the ornament on it. The lights glinted off the metal as he winked at you, and you rolled your eyes.

“Like it?” He called out to you, but before you could respond your friends' shouts of  “Hurry up!” caught your attention as you looked back at them. As you turned to respond back to the frat member, his spot on the wall was bare. 

You frowned, looking for him in the crowd, but he had disappeared, and you instead turned to follow your friend as she led you up the stairs.

As she opened the door, the smell of weed hit you immediately, nose wrinkling at the strong smell as you shut it behind you.

As you followed your friends to the circle on the floor, your eyes landed on one of the boys who held a pipe, drawing in a lungful of smoke from it as he passed it to the person beside him. You recognized him from a class of yours, and the name Suna popped into your mind as he smiled up at you.

Your friend tapped the spot next to her as you sat down, and you heard the door open and shut behind you again as someone else entered. One of the other guys cleared his throat, tipping the bottle he held in his hand back as he finished it before he set it in the middle.

“What are we playing?” He questioned the group, clasping his hands together, and soft murmurs of suggestion filled the room.

“Seven minutes in heaven.” The voice to your side was bright, cheerful, as the man leaned back, shrugging off the turquoise jacket he wore. His posture was confident, daring anyone to object to his suggestion, and you couldn’t help but admire how the rest of the room fell silent to the brunette’s request. 

“Seven minutes it is.” 

The rules were explained. It was simple, the bottle would be spun twice. The two it landed on, would go into the closet on the side of the room, and they would be stuck for seven minutes. It didn’t matter who it landed on gender wise, the chosen were chosen.

Those who agreed to the rules muttered their approval, although a few left at the potential to be stuck in the same room with others. A few more people had trickled in the room as he had been explaining the rules, taking their seat before everyone fell silent. 

The man who had initiated the game reached out, spinning the bottle with practised ease before leaning back. The bottle spun for a moment before it landed on a girl, one you didn’t recognize, but she seemed shy at the idea suddenly. Her friend sitting next to her snickered softly, whispering something to her, which only made her cheeks burn brighter before she spun the bottle again.

This time, it landed on her friend, who seemed just as startled now. A couple soft laughs were heard from the room as they stood up and were ushered into the walk-in. You watched as Suna pulled out his phone, hitting start on a timer, and just like that, the first round was started.

A joint was passed around the room, soft voices talking over one another as you waited for the timer to end. As the timer went off, one of the other girls opened the door, letting the two of them out. Despite a soft flush to both of their cheeks, neither of them seemed different.

The next round, the bottle landed on a small redhead who seemed quite excited, but his excitement quickly ended with it landing on a tall, dark-haired man on the other side of the circle with a matching black and orange jacket. Neither of them seemed particularly excited about this involvement, despite their apparent knowledge of one another.

As they entered the room with a series of laughter from their friends, the timer was reset and people went about their business. However, when they exited the room, soft whispers and giggles met them due to their matching blushes and tousled hair. 

As people reset for round three, your eyes met the man from before, his yellow jacket prominent in the low lighting as he lounged talking to the girl next to him. The glint of light off his tongue seemed blinding to you, but you forced yourself to look away and down to the bottle as a girl leaned forward to spin it, starting the round.

The bottle rattled yet again as it spun dizzily, before it landed with the neck facing you. Your friend giggled excitedly, poking you as you blushed and rolled your eyes, pushing at her as whispers soft words of encouragement to you. You reached forward, hitting the bottle again watching it spin rapidly before it began to slow. 

You held your breath, leaning forward slightly as it landed facing the artificial blonde from earlier. He paused in his conversation to the girl from his side, eyes flicking first to the bottle, before they flicked up to you. 

A smirk appeared on his face as he pushed himself up, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes at his confident posture. Your friend jabbed you in the ribs, ignoring your glare as she gestured for you to follow.

As you followed him to the closet, you silently ran over the rules in your head.

7 minutes: no more, no less. Anything is fair game as long as you’re both down. When it’s over, it’s over.

He stepped into the closet first, moving off to the side to allow you room near him. When someone shut the door, you were immediately enclosed in darkness, and someone announced the start of the time. 

As your eyes adjusted to the dark, you watched as the man rocked back onto his heels, jamming his hands into his pockets as he looked towards you expectantly. 

“Sooo…” he started, “What do you want to do?” He questioned curiously, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

The thing was, you knew the man standing in front of you. Quite intimately, actually. You and Yuuji Terushima had dated on and off for the last year, and you usually ended up hooking up with each other at parties. But the ball of metal glinting in his mouth? That was new from your last encounter with the faux blonde a few months earlier.

As if he could sense your train of thought, he stuck out his tongue, playing with the ball on it so you could watch curiously. “Like it?” He questioned, “I got it over break.” 

You hum in response, stepping forward to examine it closer. Without thinking you reach out, grabbing his tongue carefully between your thumb and index finger as you pull him closer and into your space. 

“Interesting,” you muse softly releasing him and he licks at his lips for a moment before his hands reach out, settling on your hips as he leans down to press his forehead to yours, and when you make no move to stop him, he nudges your head back further so he can nip at your lips playful before pressing a chaste kiss to them. 

“I saw you earlier, with Kuroo.” His breath is hot against your lips, the words bringing a chill up your spine as your hands come up to push at his chest lightly to give you space. “So?”

“So... I think you can do better.” 

“Better? With who, Yuuji? With you?” 

“Yeah.” His words were punctuated with his lips once more, shoved against you harshly as he pulled you back flush against him. As you exhaled sharply, his tongue licked into your mouth before you could object.

The clink of metal against one of your teeth immediately had your argument disappearing, sinking into him curiously as you let him run his tongue against yours, your mouth investigating the new feeling. 

As your hands come up to tangle in his roots, he let out a soft groan of appreciation that had you squeezing your thighs together. As he pulled back, even in the dark you could see how dark his eyes had gotten. 

His pupils are blown wide with arousal that you can also feel pressed against you. He licked his lips once more, savoring the taste of you before he leaned forward, his lips ghosting against yours but not allowing you to press up against him. 

“You know, it’s not just for decoration.” The words were teasing, airy against your lips, and pulling away just out of reach as you leaned forward to close the distance, “It’s for purpose also.”

“Oh? Is that so?” You questioned, catching his lips with your teeth lightly, nipping at it just as a rapid knock on the door caused you to jerk apart, head whipping to the door as a voice called through it. “Hey - so Bokuto forgot to start the timer, so….your time restarts.” Another muffled sorry called out to you two as you turned back to face each other.

However, rather than looking annoyed, Terushima looked quite delighted with this revelation. “Why don’t I show you how it can be used? I’ve got seven minutes, apparently.” He whispered to you, lips pressing quickly to your temple before he was sinking to his knees in front of you, and his hands slid up your legs.

As he reached the edge of your skirt, his eyes flicked up to you, waiting for your nod of approval before he was pushing them the clothing up. He pushed it up as far as he could before he tapped your inner thigh, letting you shift your leg out first as he ran a thumb over your panties for a moment before he pressed his face into your panties.

As your fingers dug into his hair in objection, he pulled back only far enough to grin up at you before he leaned forward to lick a stripe up the front of your panties. You let out a soft hiss of his name. You could feel him smirk against you even as he pushed aside your panties for his finger to rub along your slit. 

“You’re so wet,” His words were teasing as he pushed one inside you, and you frowned.

 “Yuuji, if you’re not going to-”

Your voice cut off, lips falling open as he hooked a finger perfectly inside of you, “Not going to what?” he questioned, and you frowned again, grabbing his hair and pushing his face into you like you knew he liked. 

“Shut up.” You snapped back, and you felt his laugh even as his tongue flicked out, pushing into your folds. Your fingers immediately tightened in his hair at the foreign sensation, a noise you weren’t proud of falling from your lips as you felt your toes curl.

The metal was warm but unyielding to your body as it pushed against your clit, and he flicked his tongue playfully against it, his eyes flicking up to watch your reaction. 

“Fun, right?” he teased, and before you could object, his lips wrapped against your clit as he sucked it into his mouth. The slurping noise was obscene in the closet despite the outside noise, and you couldn’t help but flush further at it.

He added another finger inside of you, pushing it in with ease despite your body's initial objection to it as he curled it up, stroking your walls in time with his suckles. You could feel yourself getting embarrassingly close, your whimpers soft to him as you felt your hips roll into his movements. 

He alternated between sucking and lapping, occasionally pushing his tongue and the new metal against his fingers and slipping inside of you as you shuddered. Your knees felt like they would give out at any moment, your legs trembling as your braced yourself against him.

“Yuuji-” you started, but his body was already shifting, his hand slipping up one of your calves to tug at your leg lightly. 

“Hook your leg over your shoulder for me,” his words were a soft rumble against your core that had you shuddering further into him, and you shifted, obeying his words. “Good girl.”

One of your hands left his hair, coming up to cover your mouth as you fought back the noises you so desperately wanted to make. You knew you were getting close to your time limit as well, the worry of getting caught in this rather compromising position flaring up in your stomach, but the idea of pushing him away made you want to cry just as strongly. 

As his fingers raked against your sensitive walls, you felt your whole body tremble, legs threatening to give out, but his presence was firm, pushing up into you, holding your body weight where he could support you even as your hand still in his hair tightened painfully.

His name spilled from your lips in a quiet chant, aware of the people outside the door waiting for your time to finish. Still, the faux blonde didn’t relent, his tongue and fingers working in harmony to push you over the edge and carrying through as you trembled around him. 

Just as quickly, he lapped up your arousal that had run down his fingers. Pulling away from you and helping you regain your footing, he helped you step back into your panties and pulled them up your legs. Just as he was tugging down your skirt back to its original position, the door swung open.

A soft whistle escaped the man holding the door open, a grin slowly spreading across his face at Terushima's position on his knees, and his hands on your skirt. “Sorry buddy, didn’t work fast enough. Time’s up.” 

Terushima grinned as he stood up, slowly wiping his face across the back of his hand as he smirked at the other man. “Fuck off, Daichi,” he stated pointedly even to the chorus of laughter from the other parties who had heard it.

Terushima reached out, grabbing you by the shoulder and nudging you out in front of him. His hand rested on your lower back, promising and reassuring as he guided you out. “Meet me in the basement bathroom in ten.” His whisper was low in your ear, and he stepped away from you and headed back to his friends.

As you made your way to your friend, you willed your legs to continue working, and you ignored the wetness sticking your panties to you as she eagerly grabbed your wrist, pulling you into her, demanding you tell her what had happened within the ten minutes you had been separated. 

You gave her a vague answer, promising to tell her in more detail the next morning as you scanned the room. There was only one blonde-headed man left in the room, and he was definitely not Terushima, who had presumably already left. 

“Want to go get more drinks?” You questioned, and your friend eagerly nodded, dragging you out of the room just as quickly as she had urged you into it. As you made your way down the stairs and into the main room, you were suddenly overwhelmed by the bodies pushing up against you. Basement, you reminded yourself. You just had to make it to the basement.

It was easy enough to ditch your friend, and although you felt bad about it, you knew she would quickly find one of the many other familiar faces around the party to hang out with until she could find you later on. 

Still, as you made your way down the stairs into the basement, you couldn’t help but ask yourself what the hell you were doing.  Terushima and you both had issues. It was obvious anytime you spent time together outside the bedroom, but you always found your way back between each other's legs. 

Your thoughts didn’t last long. The basement was just as crowded, but rather than the dancing that was happening upstairs, it seemed much more relaxed and casual. It was clear this was where the sober parties had gathered, talking and laughing without the cloud of alcohol or smoke to intoxicate them. 

As you made your way past new bodies, you headed for the bathroom door, knocking on it briefly. The same pattern you would knock on his bedroom door with. One you both knew too well.

You had barely finished the knock when the door was jerked open, a hand pulling you in just as quickly and pushing you back up against the door as lips crashed against yours, and his body pushed up against you. His fingers dug painfully tight into your hips, his own body rolling against you as he blindly fumbled for the lock refusing to part his lips from you.

His hands slid under your skirt for the second time that night, pushing it up as you fumbled with the front of his jeans ignoring how his piercing clicked against your teeth as he licked into your mouth. 

“Do you want me to blow you?” The question was blunt, but at this point of your relationship, neither of you cared for formalities, not as you were practically humping against one another like horny teenagers.

“No, I want to be in your pussy,” he responds and you can’t help but snicker at his words. 

“Real romantic, Yuuji.” You respond, and you can feel his smirk against your lips even as you dip your hands into his boxers, wrapping your hand around his cock. 

“I thought it was.” 

“Do you have a condom?”

He hesitated briefly at that, and you feel your shoulders stiffen at the same moment. “Yuuji, you know I’m not fucking you without one. I don’t know where your cock has been.” You hiss, pushing him back slightly, and he frowns, stepping back.

“You seemed just fine sticking it into your mouth a second ago.” He argued, and your eyes narrowed in response. He had a point. “Besides, you’re still on birth control right? I’ll just pull out.”

You cross your arms in annoyance, “No, you won’t. You never do.” You argue back, and he rolled his eyes. He hesitated briefly, his eyes darting over your shoulder as if he was considering his words carefully before he slowly spoke.

“Look….I haven’t fucked anyone since you last semester. Okay? It’s fine, I promise.” At your raised eyebrow, he shrugged. “I didn’t want to.” He stated as if it explained his apparent abstinence from sex. 

You hesitated, turning to look at yourself in the mirror for a moment before you sighed. “Fine, but if you’re lying and I catch something, I am cutting it off.” 

Terushima held up his hands in mock submission before he stepped forward again, one of his hands coming to push your head up to kiss him again as the other shimmied up your skirt, grabbing your panties and shoving them down again. “Sit on the counter.” 

His words were muffled against your lips as he guided you backwards, hands gripping your thighs to help lift you up onto the counter as he stepped back from his spot between your legs, reaching back to tug off his shirt over head before he was pushing down his pants and thighs. 

You couldn’t help but lick your lips as his tongue sprang up, the tip red and leaking already at the consistent teasing it had received throughout the night without release. You reached out, wrapping a hand around it again before you tugged him closer between your legs.

His hands knocked your hand aside, stroking himself firmly before he playfully tapped his cock against your lips, sliding it through the slick which had leaked from you before he rubbed it over again.

“Yuuji-” you started, your annoyance at his teasing action clear in your voice even as he snorted in amusement. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll fuck you. Chill.” He responded, his voice teasing even as you rolled your eyes, lips parting to snap at him once more, but before you could manage a sentence, he was pushing into you, knocking the air out of your lungs just as quickly.

Despite your curiosity at his lack of sex since you, you couldn’t exactly make fun of him for it because, although you wouldn’t admit it, you also hadn’t slept with anyone since him. The tightness wasn’t painful, but it was uncomfortable, and you fought the urge to demand for him to slow down as he pushed further into you with a soft groan.

As he bottomed out inside of you, he stilled, and you couldn’t help but admire his flushed face and squeezed eyes as he calmed himself. As if he could sense your attention, his eyes snapped open, meeting you with a soft smirk. 

“You’re so fucking tight, it’s unfair.” His words were strained at the overwhelming sensation he was apparently feeling.

“Don’t you dare cum yet, Yuuji,” You teased back, leaning forward to nip at his lips even as he jerked back.

“I’m not! I’m not...just….just hold on a second.” He hissed out between his teeth, “I said it’s been a minute.” 

“Take your time, it’s not like you’re inside of me or anything-” Your words were cut off with a sharp cry as he suddenly pulled his hips back and slammed them back into you all at once. Your hands came up, digging into his shoulder blades for contact as you let out a sharp whimper of his name, your back arching up into him.

“Better?” He questioned, nipping at your skin along your collarbone as you nodded sharply.

“Yeah, please.” At the back of your mind, you realized how pathetic you sounded, your words weak and breathless as you clung to him, and his hips started a soft pace. He didn’t need to test you, he knew exactly what you liked and what would get responses from you.

As his thrusts grew quicker, your fingers dug further into his skin, leaving angry red marks you knew he would tease you about later, but for now, they only encouraged him to continue doing exactly what he was. 

As he pressed his face into your neck, he left his own bruises down your throat. His hands came up to push down your shirt enough for him to grope at your breasts before his head dipped to suck on one of the nipples as you opted to tug at his hair.

“Do you like that?” He whispered against your skin, teasing, even as he nipped at the sensitive bud. “I know you do. You’re such a slut for me. I wonder what Kuroo would do if he knew you were with me right now.” The words were teasing, but you heard the possessive note behind them. Rather than knocking him away or picking a fight about how you didn’t belong to him and you could do what you wanted with who you wanted, you decided to feed his ego for once.

His name was meaningless to both of you as it spilled from your lips, a chant and his other hand slipped between your bodies, rubbing at your clit even as you jerked away just as quickly. The sensitivity of the nerves slammed into your body as you felt your muscles contract, earning a soft noise of pleasure from him. 

His head raised then, his hand leaving your breast to tangle in your hair to hold your head as he kissed you eagerly.

“Fuck,” the word was whispered against your lips even as your legs tightened around his waist, “I’ve missed this.” 

You let out a sharp gasp at the combination of his words and a well aimed thrust, which he eagerly took advantage of, his tongue slipping into your mouth. 

As his hand on your clit pinched at the bundle of nerves, you yelped sharply, jerking into him, which ended with him laughing into your kiss. “I’ve missed you.” He rephrased, and for a moment, you mulled over his words, trying to figure out what exactly he meant by that. 

As your lips parted to ask him, he shifted away from your face, his hands moving to grab your hips harshly in a grip you knew would leave more bruises as he started up new thrusts angling into the spot on your walls, which had your knuckles turning white on the counter top as your chest arched up towards him.

“Holy fuck- okay, honestly, are you close? Because if you keep this up, I really am going to cum-”

“Yes! Just...keeping doing it. Like that, don’t stop.” Your words were strained, teeth gritted as he pounded into you. “Can you-?” Your question was cut off as his hand found its way back to your clit, rubbing harsh circles that had a sob leaving your throat.

“Yuuji!” His name left your lips in a sharp cry as his body folded over you. 

“Cum for me,” His breath fanned over your ear, tickling your earlobe as you let out a soft sob, body spasming around him. “Cum for me, Y/N.” Your body obeyed him, even though you didn’t want to, your orgasm slamming into you and overflowing as you clutched at him even as his hips snapped into you, stilling as he panted into your throat. 

You laid there for longer than you would like to admit, holding each other. Breaths slowing together despite the sweat sticking you to each other. It wasn’t until you felt liquid drip down your ass that you tensed up, suddenly realizing exactly what your current state was.

Again, as if he realized what you were thinking, he quickly sat up, pulling his softening cock from you as you both stared at where you had just previously been connected and the cum dripping from your hole. “Yuuji, I swear to god-” 

“Wait, I’m sorry!” He started, raising his hand up in surrender. 

“No, you’re not! This is why I make you wear a condom!” You spit out, and he frowned.  

“I’ll just buy you a pill if it’s that big of a deal.”

You sat up, grabbing some of the toilet paper to wipe it off. “It’s not that, it’s just disgusting dripping out.” 

He shrugged, picking up his shirt as he tugged it back on. “I don’t see what the big deal is,” he responded as he tucked himself back into his clothes and buttoned up his pants before he grabbed a wad of toilet paper himself. As you started to close your legs, his hands caught you, glaring up at you. “I just ate you out in a closet, and now fucked and came in you in a bathroom. Don’t start being shy on me now.”

You let out a grumble of annoyance even as he bent over and started to wipe at your legs as well, his hands gentle and delicate of your puffy swollen folds as he cleaned away both of your cum. Just like before, he reached down, picked up your panties and slid them up your legs, kissing them as he went and you felt your stomach flutter in a way you’d rather not acknowledge just yet.

As your hips lifted up for him to slide the panties over your hips, he held a hand out, which you took, hopping down to the ground. As your legs gave out, Terushima’s presence was strong, and he caught you with a soft laugh. “Easy there, steady.” he teased, voice gentle as you found your balance. 

“You good?” He questioned, even as you nod. Your hands go to tug down your skirt, but his hands knocked you out of the way, beating you to it as he smoothed it down before he moved to fix your shirt. 

“There,” he breathed out softly, fingers moving to smooth over soft bruises as he turned you to stare at yourself in the mirror. “Ok?”

You nodded. “Ok,” you echo, and for a moment, neither of you move, staring at each other’s bodies in the mirror, but after a moment, he clears his throat, his hand dropping as he moved to the door to open it. As he took a step out, you saw him hesitate briefly as he turned back to you.  

“I’ll text you.” He decided, but his words were anything but confident, and you had long since learned Terushima did what he wanted to. He was unreliable at best.

You found yourself shrugging, a simple movement despite his frown. “Okay.” 

He nodded, eyes flicking to the door and then back to you after a moment before he nodded, echoing your soft “Okay.” and just like that, Terushima Yuuji was gone yet again.

[spotlightstudios]

Thinking about my art process again :D

Usually, I only do character-centric drawings like the one pictured above, so I start off with the head. I have a loose idea of what I'll do with the body, but it all sorta flows in after that point.

My favorite part to work on is usually the chest and shoulders though, because that decides the entire composition of the rest of my piece. Here you can see I was thinking of adding a second character, and I positioned the collarbone towards the right, before I scrapped the second place and shifted it left.

I'm also a fan of big blocky shapes. N is probably a design I love to much because I've added so much space that I can fill w/ the same color as the lineart. The gloves and "horns" being the most obvious example. I don't do it everywhere though. The spaces between the bones in her tail are solid black, but her sockets and inside of her mouth are colored. The space where her gums would be is filled. It's subtle, but it's consistent across my drawings of her.

Then with technique on coloring here, I mixed it up (in the least mixy way possible). I mostly used Cell-shading and color blocking. Aka, one color per shade, no lighting, that's it. I love this style, and actually did most of it manually instead of using a layer filter. I think that usually makes the shading pop more than it usually would. However, the colors for inside the mouth and the eyelights (basically anywhere with magic) I used the blur effect and did just a touch more visual depth than I did with other sections. A lot of characters I'll do this with to provide a focus, like w/ Light I'll blur their hair and shirt, and Sun I'll blur his sleeves. It's kind of a show of how much emphasis I want to put on a character. It draws my eyes there a lot quicker than anywhere else.

The overlay affects I did add were the gaussian blur of white and dark red. Both of them ate confined within the shape of N, not escaping elsewhere outside the box.

The box itself is a storytelling tool I love to use. My most recent drawing w/ static (which I think I'll review next) uses it too. It's a bit of left over from my time on Amino, honestly. Leaving the background to match that of your post, making it look like your drawing is a part of the site itself. It's an affective method of standing out. A transparent N doodle like this box could mean she'd fit anywhere without the restraint of a setting. Digital sticker vibes. It's one of my favorite things, working with the negative space.

I'm not sure what's prompting this, but if I find any more full drawings I have videos saved for, then I'll bring them up and talk about the way I worked on them like this!

[tryingmyves]

Sober

DENKI KAMINARI x Y/N

part two

A/N: A fic inspired by Wish You Were Sober by Conan Gray (I swear they put crack in this song). You’ve been in love with Denki Kaminari for as long as you can remember and he only seems to think of you as more than a friend when he’s inebriated. Simple, right?

sorry this chapter got a bit long but things are getting ~spicy~

c/w: alcohol mention, smut (soon)

chapter 1

[FOUR MONTHS AGO]

Technically, classes wouldn’t start for three more days, so you weren’t quite a college student. But you and Kaminari came to the city early because the lease on his apartment was starting and you needed to meet someone from Craig’s List about the car you plan to buy. To be honest, the car was what you expected: a piece of shit. But it would get you to your part time job and back to campus, so what more could you ask for? You couldn’t move into your dorm until tomorrow, but Kaminari said you could stay with him for the night. His roommate Kirishima hadn't moved in yet, so he had extra space.

Aside from the brief meeting with the stranger you bought your car from, you and Kaminari spent the day hauling cheap furniture up four flights of stairs into his apartment. Both of you were utterly exhausted. You were both covered in the grime of your own sweat; countless trips up and down the stairs had left your legs burning and heavy. When you agreed to help Kaminari move in you didn’t expect that he'd have so much shit, or that his apartment would be on the top floor of a building with no elevator. But at the current juncture you were too fatigued to complain. The two of you are laying on your backs, sprawled out on the cold wooden floor of the living room, unpacked boxes surrounding you.

“I feel disgusting,” you complain, raising your head slightly off the ground and unsticking the mat of sweaty hair from the back of your neck. You push it upwards so it fans out above your head.

“Yeah, you smell kind of disgusting too,” Kaminari replies with a laugh that becomes a cough when your arm swings down to connect with his stomach.

“I think you mean, “gee Y/N, thanks so much for helping me move into my apartment! I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kaminari raises himself up on his elbows, still recovering from your blow. “Hey - I have your thank you, it’s just in one of these boxes. Alcohol tends to be the universal thank you for helping a friend move - plus I don’t have wifi until tomorrow, so tonight we’re getting drunk and celebrating as college students!” he smiles.

You let out a sigh, “Well I hope you have ice. Find my thank you gift - I’m going to go break in your shower,” you say rising from the floor, “but not because you said I smell. Only because I want to!”

Kaminari laughs as you make your way to the bathroom, pulling himself off the floor as well to start rooting through the cardboard boxes full of his belongings. You lock the bathroom door behind you and spend a few moments deciphering how to use the unfamiliar shower. You start the water, a bit cooler than usual, still feeling balmy from all of today’s physical activity. After moving all of Denki’s belongings into the apartment you didn’t remember to grab anything of your own, so you would be using his toiletries to wash up. You throw a thin towel on the back of the toilet before stepping into the refreshing stream of water. The water cascades down your face, snaking down the curves of your body before disappearing down the drain. A sigh escapes your lips, thankful for a small moment of relaxation after a long day. You get to work washing your hair and scrubbing the day's sweat off of yourself, wrapped in the scent of cedarwood and lemon, something you’ve long associated with Kaminari. After roughly fifteen minutes you feel sufficiently clean and turn off the shower, stepping out to towel yourself off.

Not wanting to put your dirty clothes back on, you sneak out of the bathroom with your towel wrapped around you and down the hall to Kaminari’s room. You snatch a t-shirt and pair of sweats out of an opened box and creep back to the bathroom to get dressed and brush out your hair. You pull the over-sized shirt on, relishing the traces of Denki’s cologne that linger on the fabric and step into the sweats. You rake a comb through your wet tresses before re-emerging from the bathroom. You find Kaminari in his kitchen, haphazardly unpacking a box of cutlery with a mixed drink in his hand.

“Did you break into my thank you present without me, Denki?”

He turns at the sound of your voice, “Well maybe if you hadn’t taken so long -” He stops, registering you’re now in his clothes instead of your own. “Hah, nice threads,” he laughs.

You grab the hem of the shirt, holding it out from you a bit as if you're presenting it. “Yeah, well my shower wasn’t going to do much good if I got back into my sweaty clothes, so I helped myself.”

“Seems to be a recurring theme tonight. I don’t mind, you look cuter in it than I do anyway,” he winks at you. “Now,” he slides a second cup across the counter towards you, “thanks for helping me move in. Let’s get drunk!”`

You smile as you place the cup to your lips for a drink, your mind buzzing even without the alcohol. You’ve been friends with Denki long enough to know that he is always flirting, even if he doesn’t mean anything by it. Usually you just brush off his comments or turn the tables with a line of your own, hoping to get him flustered. But lately you haven’t been able to ignore the flutters in your chest at his words. The pair of you have been friends since middle school and you’ve grown accustomed to people assuming you’re more than that. But in reality, things between you and Denki have always been platonic, despite the incessant flirting. However, you want there to be more. His golden eyes draw you into him and he can so effortlessly make you laugh. For you, home isn’t a static location but wherever Denki happens to be.

“Woah Y/N, I didn’t mean you had to chug it!”

Denki’s comment snaps you out of your thoughts and you realize you’ve drunk nearly half of your drink while lost in silent longing. You lower the cup, “Well you have a headstart on me!” you reason, not wanting to tell Denki he’s the reason you got lost in your cups.

“Fair enough, but head start or not, I’m drinking you under the table tonight,” he challenges. “Let’s play some Mario Kart! I set up the switch while you were in the shower.”

“Fine, but if you’re wanting to get drunk we’re playing Beer-i-o Kart.”

Kaminari huffs, “well, obviously.” He grabs a bottle of whiskey in addition to his own cup and heads to the couch, you following close behind.

The rules of the game are simple: you win if you’re the first person to cross the finish line but you have to finish your drink before the end of the race. Even in the world of Mario Kart, drinking and driving is a no go, so there’s a few different options on how to play. You can either chug your drink at the start, put your controller down mid race to slam your drink, or stop just before the finish line on lap three to empty your cup. You can also drink while you’re put back on the track if you somehow manage to drive off the course. Both you and Denki are highly competitive, and while he might think he has the monopoly on video games, your skills rival his.

Unsurprisingly, Denki picks the Lightning Cup as it’s both a nod to his quirk and he’s a sadist who actually enjoys rainbow road. He beats you handily in the first two races, able to finish his drink slightly quicker than you, but you manage to win the Grumble Volcano race. He hits pause before the final race can start so he can mix two more drinks. You laugh as he nearly drops his own cup, his cheeks pink from all the liquor.

“Oh shut it, Y/N, or you can make your own drink.”

“Aw, don’t be bitter just because you lost that one Denki!” you tease.

He hands your now full cup back to you, “Yeah well this next one’s all mine. You’re going down!”

You just stick your tongue out in response and ready yourself for the last race. Once you’ve both situated yourself, Denki unpauses the game and the countdown begins. He immediately starts chugging his drink but you peel out from the starting line. You know you’ll fall off the map several times, so you might as well use that time effectively by drinking then. Denki finishes the freshly poured drink in under 30 seconds and is already in hot pursuit. He manages to pass you on the first lap and despite the multiple red shells you send his way, you can’t catch up. You’re not sure if it’s your competitive nature or the copious amounts of alcohol that influence your next move, but you shift from your seat on the couch and plant yourself directly in Denki's lap, blocking his view of the screen and making him drive off the road.

“Y/N, you cheater!!” Denki squirms beneath you, trying to dislodge you from your new position.

You laugh, “We never said this was against the rules!”

You zip past his character as he’s being lowered back onto the track, a triumphant hah! announcing you’ve overtaken him.

“Well in that case, neither is this!” Denki’s hands grip at your sides, his fingers poking at all your most ticklish spots. You shriek in surprise and jump from his lap, desperate to get away from the sudden assault. You land on the couch, laying on your back, but Denki doesn’t relent. He crawls between your legs and bares over you with a wicked grin on his face before bringing his hands to your sides once more.

Now you’re squirming beneath him, a breathless ball of laughter, your game forgotten in the background. When Denki finally stops tickling you his face is no more than a foot from your own. Your better judgement goes out the window, forced out by the haze of your laughter and half a bottle of alcohol. You wrap an arm around the back of Denki’s neck and pull his lips to yours. You can feel the smile on his face as he opens his mouth, tracing at your lips with the tip of his tongue. You part your lips, allowing him inside. His lips are soft and you're not sure whether or not he activated his quirk but you’re feeling sparks.

He separates from you, nipping at your bottom lip as he does. His forehead resting on your own he whispers, “I’ve always wondered what that would be like. It’s better than I thought.”

The low hush in his voice makes your breath catch. “What else have you wondered about?”

“Well if kissing you is this good, I can only wonder what you’re like in bed.”

You press your lips to his again, “one way to find out,” you say through the kiss.

At that, Kaminari grabs your thighs and stands from the couch, hoisting you to his waist. He carries you down the hallway towards his bedroom, kissing you the whole way. As you cross the threshold of his room he separates from you, “say less.”

[guileheroine]

by your hand is the only end i foresee

1.2k of catradora angst written for the pine4pine exchange 💔 / ao3

Aside from her old cadet uniform and a few ration bars she kept tucked away for midnight cravings—items she was very happy to leave behind—Adora’s personal possessions in the Fright Zone were few, enough to fit in a tied-up old pillowcase.

Precious few: her first official commendation (back when those things mattered), a bracelet she had woven from the leather of her old training shoes, and a few folded up pieces of paper, held together with a blackened elastic that would snap any moment. She wanted to leave these behind, too, but it was easier said than done. Much easier, considering Adora had gone out of her way to grab the little pile from the secret place under beneath her bunk, and cram it, running, into her jacket, before she and her new friends stole away from the Horde forever, again.

She knew she shouldn’t have done that, shouldn’t even have been thinking about it. It could have cost them dearly, actually. Yet she couldn’t help it then, with their old quarters just a dash down the corridor—and she couldn’t help it now, as she unfolded the creased old notes and read. She pored over each word, like she was five years old again and barely learning how, just to make them last. Crayons from The Horde came in four colours: black, grey, red, and brown. Catra always made the most of them, scrawling like a machine, her hand skidding out of the borders of the paper sometimes. In an instant, Adora could almost smell them again, a memory she could never have imagined relishing. Could never have imagined feeling so complicated.

AdoRA

DO NOT try to steal my bars again EVER .

just ask. i got them for us!

Then there was a crude heart, before Catra signed her name the way she always did, with a claw-groove underscoring the letters. There were a handful like that, short—and sweet, in hindsight, whether they were meant that way or not. And now, more than a little bitter. Adora traced the groove on each one with her fingertip, her brow threatening to crinkle, hating how tender her own touch was, how quickly her stupid eyes welled.

Adora— remember we need a bigger bunk. It’s gonna come quicker if you ask. If you kick me in the face again you won’t sleep for a week.

Adora, Thanks for standing up for me after training today. Let’s be on the same team next week?

Adora. This is gonna be your face after I kick your ass tomorrow. (Accompanied by a pretty scary drawing of Adora frowning furiously and crying puddles, with Catra cackling in the background, flexing biceps she had never had in her life.)

Adora missed her crazy doodles. She regretted that there weren't more of them here.

The messages were actually fewer than she remembered, too; and as she flicked through them she knew that most of them were missing. She had probably just tossed them behind her shoulder without a second thought, because what had it mattered when they had each other right there, forever? She wondered if Catra had kept any of her notes and figured she had probably torn them to shreds the first chance she got.

Why couldn’t Adora do the same?

Maybe it was just that clinging to them felt like a way of holding on to their friendship, even though all signs told Adora that it was beyond hope of repair now. After all, the scribbles they shared had felt like something so private, so special to them. There weren't exactly gifts to give in the Fright Zone, so they sufficed as tokens of friendship in a way little else could, like evidence. They fell into the habit of writing the kind of things that got said aloud much less often—how they would look out for each other, how they worried sometimes about the future. Adora, and only Adora, knew that Catra often found it easier to express those feelings in writing, in a kind of private that could never be overheard or interrupted. So yeah, it was special. It was the last shred of love Adora had from a friendship that seemed to have slipped through her fingers before she knew it was gone, and she treated these notes carefully. Evidence.

Sniffling, she wondered if she could take a page out of Catra’s book. If writing something down might make her feel better. It hurt horribly to feel so far away from Catra, but if Adora focused hard enough on the page and imagined she was talking to her maybe that pain would recede. Adora fetched the journal Glimmer had presented her with when she moved in and found a fresh page, bending the spine over in that way that always seemed to make Bow wince.

Dear Catra,

Then she held the pen frozen to the page for so long that the ink seeped all the way through. She blew on it to make sure it wouldn't smudge easy, and wrote.

You are my enemy now and you always will be.

She read it over like a drill. It was important to get this into her head. And only then did she write out the rest of her feelings, the words—and tears—finally flowing freely.

...I will always miss you.

When she got to that part, it felt like an exhale, even if the admission was guilty. Because it was the other irreversible truth, the other side of the coin to the animosity she was still struggling to understand. She let the pen clatter momentarily before picking it up again, resuming speed as if she had never stopped. By the time she came to the end of the page she found that her head was clearing even if her tears weren’t, because she was being honest with Catra—

I’m sorry things ended up like this, I really am.

—And herself.

But even if we could go back in time, I wouldn’t do things any other way.

Love,

Adora

Adora didn’t read it over when she was done. She just stretched her wrist and folded the page over. Then she wrote a quick note beside it, because she didn’t quite trust Glimmer and Bow not to snoop. No, it wasn’t her intention to give this letter to Catra. What good would it do? Even if she sent it, Catra probably wouldn’t understand. She couldn't trust her to understand: that was still such a strange and new feeling. Adora felt the distance between them like a throb, like a chasm wider than space. She wondered if they would ever be connected again. Forever without her seemed like such a hard bargain, such a slog…

The same forever that she had once been able to promise Catra without blinking twice.

Adora rubbed her eyes and left her head resting in her hands when she was done. Maybe there were other forevers, other universes. In a desperate moment, she wondered if she could send Catra a sign that would survive the end of the world as they knew it, that could bridge the gap between them just by biding time and space for as long as necessary… It felt as impossible as the distance. She rubbed her temples as if to literally ease the pain. She could only hope that it would let up with time.

[kalcia]

Hello! What are your prices/process for getting commissioned art pieces? ❤️

Hello Dear Anon!

I'm sorry for the delay, but I wasn't sure how to anwser that since... I don't have fixed prices YET.

I was kind of hoping to make a proper commission prices sheet and then reply, but I'm busy and I don't want to keep you waiting too long!

Right now prices depend on how many characters, if it's greyscale, watercolour, render, if there is background and any extra details (like tattoos) AND the time how much it takes me. So the prices are fluid. But I do slowly start setting up a proper price sheet for everything and I hope to present it to you sooner than later!

And for the process - you tell me what you want - if it's based on the fic or just a general idea (you can send me references too). If it's a fic (I always read all fics for commissions) if you want an exact scene or if you decide to give me freedom of "what speaks to me". I will not copy other artists or their styles! If you commission me, you commission my style :)

I'm okay with drawing nsfw (very explicit nsfw too), some blood/wounds, animals and armour. I will not draw underage characters in sexual themed scenarios!

I draw a rough sketch to show poses and characters, send it to you to accept. If something needs changing, I will resend a corrected version. Then I draw a more detailed sketch (eyes, hair, clothes etc). If all is good I turn it into lineart, which I also then send to you to accept. Then I fill in flat colours and again send you an update. And then I start proper shading and finishing touches. I send you finished screenshot of the wip. At that point I can't change a lot without going back really far, but if there are small things I do adjust them if need be.

After that I give you a final price (this is one of the things I want to change, cause I would rather provide a full price ahead of time) and send an invoice via paypal. After payment is cleared you get the finished big file and if you want also smaller version to post on the web.

Ah, time frame - it generally takes me a few days, depending on how busy I am. Sometimes longer sometimes quicker (it also depends on how fast you are with your replies to my updates ^^)

That's how it looks right now. Not much will change once I set up proper price sheet, well, except the payment which will be up front, or half/half, not sure about that yet ^^; And with the price sheet you will have a better idea of how much something will cost <3

Thank you, I hope this helped a bit! <3

[spencessmile]

Trinity House

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Reader 

Summary - You and Spencer visit a bookstore that’s close to both of your hearts. 

Warnings - Fluff

Word Count - 2216 words

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and post it without my consent. Happy reading! 

A/N - Went to a bookstore earlier today and thought about this cute concept. Gah, I would do anything to be able to go to a bookstore with Spencer. 

Requests are open!

**

Spencer sat across from you in the living room. He was seated near the fireplace, case files surrounding him. 

You were on the couch, a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream in your left hand as you doodled in your sketchbook, feeling snug in his blue sweater that was over-sized on you. 

"How are the drawings coming along?" Spencer asked, looking up at you. 

"It's getting there," You said, going over the lines to give your drawing a messy look. 

"We don't have any plans for the evening, right?" 

"Well, I was planning on finishing this drawing and then starting my next one because I have a crazy idea for it." 

"Mint chocolate chip ice cream and drawings, the two things to keep you happy in life." 

"Make sure you never run out of mint chip ice cream or sketchbooks." 

"Wouldn't dream of it babe," Spencer blushes. 

"If I ever came home and our freezer didn't have any more mint chip ice cream or your desk didn't have piles of my favorite quality of sketchbooks, I would run away." 

"I wouldn't let you run," Spencer responds. 

"Good." You said, looking back down at your drawing. 

You and Spencer continued to quietly work until you felt his eyes on you. 

"Your staring at me," You said. 

"I'm admiring." 

"Well," You said putting your sketchbook down and walking over to him. "You're distracting me." You sat down beside him, flipping over his case files not wanting to see whatever he was working on. You had huge respect for what Spencer did for a living but you made it very clear to him to keep his case files feets away from you. You chose to see the good in the world but you knew that as you looked into one of those files you would lose all faith in the world, you didn't want that.

 "Let's go to Trinity House," Spencer smiles. 

"Really?" 

"We haven't been in so long. Come on," Spencer helps you off the ground and races down the hall to grab his satchel. 

"Can I at least change?" You ask as Spencer walks back out. 

"Why?" 

"Because I look a little messy," You motioned down to your clothes. 

"I love when you look messy," He replies, pecking your lips. 

Spencer held your hand as you drove passed down familiar streets. Spencer and you loved Trinity House in words you couldn't describe, maybe it was because it's where you first met Spencer and fell in love with a nerd who had the perfect golden brown eyes and a smile that made you melt.  

"You know who's going to be really glad to see us?" You asked. 

"Jess," You both said at the same time. 

Jess worked at Trinity House for longer than before you and Spencer ever meant but she was the one who always teased you about Spencer whenever you would come in. It was the push from Jess and your lucky stars that you mustered up the courage to ask Spencer out one day when he walked in the bookstore. 

"How long has it even been?" Spencer asked and you shrugged. 

"It's been way too long."

"It's been far too long since we've come here," Spencer said, parking right in front of the bookstore. He unbuckled his side and helped you out. 

"Thank you," You responded, kissing Spencer's kiss. 

Spencer opened the door for you, stepping in you took in the smell of books and coffee. 

"Y/N!" Spencer!" You turn to see Jess running towards you, hugging you tightly. 

"Hi Jess," You said, as she pulled back and waved at Spencer. "I'm seeing you both after so long. I thought you forgot about this place." She exclaimed. 

"I don't think that's possible," You said.

"Jess, how have you been?" Spencer asked. 

"I've been good," She replied. 

"I see you did some renovations," Spencer said, pointing to the several new paintings and remodeling that was done. 

"Yup, wanted to give the place a more comfier feel? So, how does it feel?" 

"Comfy," Spencer replied and she nodded. 

"So?" She raised her eyebrow at you and Spencer. "How have you two been? Married? Any cute little genius babies yet?" 

"Not yet," Spencer shook his head. "But I did ask Y/N to move in." 

"Oh, did you say yes?" She said, looking at you. 

"I couldn't resist," You reply. "He's just too pretty to resist." 

Spencer blushed as he playfully pushes you away. "Go look for your books," He said. You walk away as you notice Spencer continuing his conversation with Jess. 

** 

You stare at all the new books that were apart of the Trinity House and you wanted them all. But you needed to control yourself because Spencer and your's apartment literally looked like a bookstore. There were books everywhere; left, right, in every corner of the apartment. 

As you continued to gaze at all the books, Spencer and Jess watched you. 

"She has the most incredible taste in books," Jess spoke. 

"I choose from her side of the bookshelf more then mine," Spencer admitted, truthfully. "I thought nobody had better taste than me in books but she takes the crown." Jess laughs. 

"She's always had an eye for the best," Jess said, and Spencer blushed. "Go find your books, I'll be in the back whenever you two love birds are done." 

Spencer walks over to you. 

"Find anything you like?" You looked up from your book to see Spencer. 

"Is it bad that I want to buy this whole section of the shelf?" You pointed the left side. "They all are calling me name." 

"Then add them to the pile baby," Spencer said, looking through your large stack of books on the small table. 

"Did you find your book yet?" You asked. 

"Is it weird that I'm nervous to look?" Spencer asked. 

"Do you want me to look for you?" Spencer nods and took his hand and walk towards the R shelf. Spencer has been wanting to get his hands on The Essential Rumi book for months now and he only wanted the older version. 

Your eyes quickly scan all the book titles until your eyes catch the book you're looking for. "Spence." You say, looking at him as his eyes were scanning another book from the shelf. 

"Hmm," He responds. You pull out the book and put it in his reach of vision. 

"They have it!" He whisperers, taking it slowly out of yours like it might fall into pieces if he grabbed it any quicker.  

"They do," You smile as you looked at him admiring the book. "Babe, add it to the pile." 

** 

After another two hours or so Spencer finds you in the N section. 

"Hey baby," Spencer called out for you. 

"Hii," You respond. 

"You already know that I love you but this book," Spencer grabbed it from you and ran his thumb over the cover. "Is heartbreaking." Spencer goes to put it back on the shelf but you stop him. 

"I want to read it," You say. 

"I don't want you reading this," Spencer said softly. 

"Why not?" 

"Because it'll make you cry." 

"So?"

"You know it's breaks my heart when I see you crying," You lightly smiled at his response.

 "I'll be okay my love," You said, kissing his cheek. 

"Nobody is okay after reading this book," Spencer looks at you and you could tell this book hit Spencer somewhere deep. Spencer read thousands of books and remembers all of them but you remember Spencer telling you that there was one book that he'll never recover from and today you found which one. 

"How about we buy it but I only read it when your home with me?" You ask. "So that if I do start crying you can be there to comfort me and tell me everything's going to be okay?" Spencer looks at you for a couple of moments before pulling you in for a small kiss. 

"We can do that," He nods. "You ready to check out?" 

"I think we got more than enough." 

"You can never have enough books baby," Spencer said, carrying the basket full of books to the counter where Jess was waiting for you two. 

You stand the shelf watching Spencer pay for books as you just simply admired him from afar. Spencer noticed you weren't beside him and he made grabby hands at you. You walked up beside him and laid your head on his shoulder. 

"When will I see you two lover birds again?" Jess asked, slipping Spencer a receipt. 

"As soon as we finish these," You pointed to the four bags on the counter, filled with books. You reached for a bag until Spencer smacked your hand away.

"No," He said, grabbing all the bags. "I got them." You smiled. "Thank you, Jess! See ya soon." 

"I need to talk to Y/N Spencer," Jess said, holding onto your arm. "She'll meet you in the car in a couple of minutes." 

"Everything okay?" Spencer asked, looking between you and Jess. 

"Yup, just some girl talk." 

"I'll be there in two minutes babe," You said and Spencer nodded. As soon as he was out of your and Jess's sight, she quickly grabbed a bag and handed it to you. 

"When the book arrived I nearly cried," Jess said as you pulled out the book from the bag and looked at it. "He's going to love it."

You called Jess a couple of weeks back asking if she could track down a book for you that Spencer's wanting to get his hand's on for two years now. 

"He is," You smiled, slipping her the money. "Thank you for doing this. I don't know how I'll repay you for this." 

"You can repay me but having dinner with me. It's been way too long and we need to do some catching up." 

"Yes. Definitely!" You say. "I'll see you real soon." You said walking out and getting into the car. 

"You got another one?" Spencer questioned. 

"It's the most important one," You said. 

"Can I see which one?" He asked, curiously. 

"I'll show once we get home." 

"Okay," Spencer nodded. "Your cute." He added, kissing you. 

"Your cute too." 

"Not as much as you." 

"I beg to differ." 

** 

Back at the apartment, you and Spencer stand on your separate sides of your huge bookshelf and organize your books with soft music playing in the background. 

You were so concentrated in your books you didn't notice Spencer's hands wrap around your waist pulling you away from the bookshelf. 

"Can you show me the last book you got?" Spencer asked. 

"You really want to see it, huh?" You laughed. 

"We always share our books with each other," Spencer spoke, he was right. You and Spencer always shared books. 

"I can only get the book if you let go of me, my love." You say as Spencer let's go of you. You grabbed the bag and walk back up to him. "As I said earlier, this book was the most important." You held the bag in front of Spencer. "Open it." Spencer looked at you confused. He slowly opened the packaging. 

You heard Spencer gasp as the cover of the book came into his vision.

"Y/N, you didn't," Spencer said, looking at the book in his hands. 

"Oh but I did," You said, grabbing on his arm.

"Where did you find this book from? I haven't been able to get my hands on this for years!" 

"I pulled a few strings." You smiled as Spencer looked at the book. 

It was the book 'Between Shades of Grey' by Ruta Sepetys. Spencer had mentioned it several times he wanted it to be apart of his shelf more times then you could remember so you knew that you had to get it for him. 

Spencer put the book down on the desk and looked at you. 

"What's wrong? Is it the wrong one? If it is I can get it chan-" 

"No, no, no," Spence shook his head. "It's the one." He said.

"Then what's wrong?" 

"What's your favorite thing that you've found at Trinity House?" He asked, his voice soft. 

Spencer's words put you in deep thought, you had found many things at Trinity House at were your favorite, you'd have no idea where to start. 

"Want to know my favorite thing that I found at Trinity House?" He asked. 

"What?" 

"I found you at Trinity House." Your eyes began to water. "I found the most loving and adorable person there and I'm so thankful."

"I love you so much," You hugged Spencer as he rubbed your back. "And I thank my lucky stars for you every day." 

** 

Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are - Mason Cooley 

[niksixx]

America’s Most Wanted

Requested: Kind of :D 

Pairing: Duff McKagan x Fem!Reader 

Description: While you and Duff are lovers, you’re also killers. A modern day Bonnie and Clyde love story. 

Warning: Mentions of murder, blood, stabbing, guns, etc. I tried not to make this fic graphic, but please read at your own risk if you believe this piece will trigger you. 

A/N: I am blessing you all with a Duff fic because I know how much you lovely humans wanted me to write something for him!! It’s a different type of fic, I consider this ‘horror’ but again, I tried not to make it super graphic that way you can still enjoy it! 

*Picture is NOT mine. Found on Google. Credit to the owner.* 

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The streets of Los Angeles are uncharacteristically quiet at four thirty in the morning. Normally buzzing with crowds of inebriated young adults who spill out to the sidewalk after a night at the Roxy, they have become calm and eerily so. Illumination from the lamp posts provides the only source of light throughout the city in the late hours of the night. Stores and clubs remain closed for the second week in a row. Workers and customers alike are suffering, but the safety of the LA citizens is at stake.

The police and the FBI are frazzled. Patrolling the streets is too dangerous. One by one the death toll increases, with each murder more gruesome than the next, always unprovoked. Media outlets across the country keep the American citizens informed. The mugshots of the murderers are on every news channel, and posters are hung on every telephone pole. The two killers are wanted dead or alive, and they are Bonnie and Clyde resurrected.

Sitting at the base of a tree is one of the killers, the more experienced of the two. He goes by Duff. Long leather clad legs are splayed out in front of him as he cleans the fresh blood from his knife with a towel that has seen better days. Beside him hidden in the grass is the lifeless body of a twenty-nine year old man who had made the mistake of stepping outside his home. The scent of blood is strong, but Duff’s used to it. After brutally ending the lives of thirty innocent civilians up and down the west coast, the pungent odor is rarely a bother. In fact, Duff finds it comforting.

At first glance, Duff appears just like any other man in Los Angeles. That alone makes him deadly. Tall, blonde, and adorned in leather assets from head to toe, he’s intimidating. But it’s not the kind of intimidating that urges people away. He possesses an allure that pulls them toward him, draws them in. And then, when they least expect it, he strikes. One and done. Swift and clean. No remorse.

With his back against the base of the tree, Duff scans the empty streets, looking for any sign of life that is foolish enough to leave the safety of the indoors. He knows the police are doing everything they can to locate him without putting themselves at risk. He is aware that cities all across the country are terrified that they’ll fall victim to his murder spree. And yet there are still people who choose to enter the outdoor world, exposing themselves to potential harm. There is always the option of breaking the glass windows and terrorizing the people who choose to stay inside, but that isn’t the name of the game. Duff waits for his victims. He never goes looking for them.

Heels clicking against the cement pavement grabs his attention. Turning his head toward the sound, a petite woman in a red peacoat has a bit of hustle in her step as she pulls the jacket tighter to her body. The naive little thing is alone, checking over her shoulder once, twice, before exhaling a breath into the air.

From his pocket, Duff digs out a cigarette. Holding it between two gloved fingers, he lights it and casually blows a ring of smoke into the night. “You know darling, you shouldn’t be out here all by yourself.”

The clicking comes to a halt. Caught in the midst of her venture home, the lady stops and turns, worry lines etched in her forehead. Duff sighs. Poor thing doesn’t know what’s coming for her. “I know. I’m coming from a friend’s house. My apartment is just down the street.”

Duff heaves himself to his feet, brushing off the dirt and grass from his body. Shockingly, the lady doesn’t budge, but her eyes watch his every move. Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket, he lets the cigarette dangle from his lips. A few steps forward and he’s standing in front of the young woman who squares her body defensively. She doesn’t recognize him, another shock, as his face has been plastered all over the 11 o’clock news, but her guard is high.

“At four in the morning?” Duff asks incredulously, playing the part of an intrigued stranger. He uses his charm for an advantage. The woman smiles a little, relaxing her shoulders. Duff notices. “What were you doing?”

He doesn’t have to do this. He doesn’t have to pretend to care, to warm up his victims before the hunt. But killing is a game, and games are meant to be fun. “I was planning on staying over, but I have trouble falling asleep in homes that aren’t my own,” Her eyes travel the length of Duff’s body before settling back on his face. She has trouble reading him. “What’s your excuse for being out so late?”

A few feet away, a shadow emerges from behind the cars parked along the street. Straining his neck to get a closer look, Duff recognizes the shadow and snickers to himself. Curiously, the lady turns her gaze just as the shadow disappears behind a different car. “I have trouble sleeping. Past trauma,” Duff lies casually, eyes downcast at the cigarette in his mouth. “Fresh air and a smoke usually calms me down.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…”

“Duff,” He answers back with a slow smile. “And you are?”

“Linda.” A wary smile surfaces on her lips. The rise and fall of her chest is normal, not as panicked as it was before.

The shadow in the background slithers around the cars, inching its way closer. It’s on the hunt for its next prey, but Duff shakes his head, chuckling under his breath. He looks to Linda again, who stares back quizzically. “Well, Linda, it was very nice to meet you. It’s late, though, and you should head on home.”

With a curt nod, Linda tugs her purse higher onto her shoulder. “It was nice to meet you too, Duff.” Linda attempts to step around him, but Duff sidesteps and blocks her path. Linda straightens, the muscles in her face tightening.

“One more thing,” In the shallow pocket of his leather jacket, Duff runs a thumb over the tip of his blade, leaning toward her with a smirk. Linda recoils, and he deadpans. “Don’t scream.”

For a split second, Linda’s fight or flight response is activated, only to be cut off by the sharp pain of a blade wedged in the side of her ribcage. A gloved hand covers her mouth, suppressing the soft whimpers of agony. Cocking his head, Duff stares into her eyes as tears spill over the apples of her cheeks. With a quick, slick motion, Duff pulls the knife from her side before penetrating the skin just above her collarbone. Lightning quick, the shadow emerges from the darkness and hurls itself at Duff, knocking him against the brick wall of a building just a foot behind him. If only the shadow had been quicker, not as hesitant, then it may have claimed Linda as its victim.

Now under the light of a lamppost, the shadow appears in its true form. The second killer. Dressed head to toe in black garments, the boxcutter held tight in its grasp, it takes one step forward, lips curled back in contempt.

“Fuck you, Duff. I had that.”

The anger in your voice turns him on, the opposite effect that it should have on his body. You were right. Linda was your kill, but she’d been alive for far too long. Things didn’t always have to be planned. Excessive planning, while it worked in most cases, could end up being a weakness. Sometimes, you just needed to go for the quick kill.

“I am so sorry, sweetheart,” Feigning innocence, Duff gestures to Linda’s lifeless body as he blows a cloud of smoke into the air. While he’s positive Linda is as good as gone, there was always the chance she was grasping at life by the skin of her teeth. And if she was indeed just another lifeless body bleeding out on the concrete, Duff would enjoy the sight of you exploding in anger right in front of him. You were always more beautiful that way. “But her apartment was down the street. You were just a bit too slow, darling. She would have made it home alive.” Your eyes fall downcast. Duff sighs. “Tell you what. Check her pulse. If she’s still breathing, I’ll let you finish her off.”

Crouching down to the pavement, you slip your hand into the collar of Linda’s peacoat, two fingers positioned on the side of her neck. Blood trickles onto your hand, the pungent liquid dripping down the side of her neck to her ear. Closing your eyes, you concentrate on finding a slow beating, but the only pulse you feel is the one flowing through your fingertips.

Eyes narrowed to slits, you watch as Duff chuckles from his place at the wall, taking drag after drag of the cigarette. He knew she was dead. He was toying with you. Teeth clenched together, you find yourself pressing his back further into the bricks, snatching the white cancer stick from his lips, and crushing it under the heel of your boot. You hold the blade against his neck, applying just a bit of pressure to make him slightly squirm under your touch. Neither you nor Duff are strangers to rough play.

He blinks in pure astonishment before curling his lips into a sly grin. Your fingers twitch, itching to wipe the smile off his face, but he’s caught your wrist far too many times in the past when you’ve tried. “Someone’s a little angry, aren’t we?”

Linda’s blood smears over Duff’s lips as your fingers graze over his face. With your lips by his ear, you reply breathily, “Don’t ask questions you know the answer to.”

Pulling away, you let your hands drop by your side, curling and uncurling your fists as a way to release the tension in your body. It was your kill. How were you supposed to get better if Duff claimed the victims for himself?

“Maybe you need more training.”

Your blood boils, eyes shifting back to Duff’s smug face. If you needed more training, it was his fault. “Maybe I need a better teacher.” It was easy to get under each other’s skin, although most of the time it was playful banter that morphed into sexual tension. From the bulge in his jeans and the hazy look in his eyes, you knew Duff was dangerously close to claiming you on the sidewalk.

“Temper, temper,” Duff taunts, pushing off the wall with the sole of his boot. The way he eyes you is how he gazes at his victims, like prey, but there’s a side of Duff only you’ve seen. Despite his primal instincts and the nagging urge to have his way with you whenever and wherever, you meant more to him than that. “You have a sharp tongue, sweetheart,” You tilt your head confidently upward, not breaking eye contact as he towers over you. Trailing a gloved hand over your exposed collarbone and up the side of your throat, his fingers slide around to grip the nape of your neck. With untamed hair, crazed eyes, and lips smeared with the blood of the fallen, he’s a madman, a killer. And while the feelings between you aren’t rational, you can’t deny your love for the wild criminal. “Show me what else it can do.”

His lips draw you in like a magnet. Many kisses have been shared between you and Duff, but your heart still beats wildly like it did the very first time. With his hands on either side of your face he keeps you still against him, lips moving in a frenzy before biting down on your lip. He’s rarely gentle, and it drives you mad.

The taste of blood floods your tongue as his tangles with yours, hot, heavy breaths fanning over your face. Your body tingles with fervent need, stomach twisting in passionate knots. As much as you want to enjoy the kiss, the taste of him, you pull back reluctantly, the thoughts in your head overwhelming the rest of your senses.

Duff’s hands cradle your face with a gentle touch. He eyes you with a hard look, a look that warns not to lie. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

The words spin around in your brain. Did you really need more training? In only six short months, Duff taught you everything he knew. You followed his lessons, mimicked his every movement, practiced until your muscles ached from the pain. “Am I disappointing you?”

Duff’s eyebrows furrow. His hands fall to your waist, tugging your hips firmly against him. “Disappointing me? Hardly. Sweetheart, you amaze me.”

“But you said I need more training.”

He chuckles softly. “And you do. That’s not a bad thing. But you’ve already come so far. Just a few months ago you were a dainty little thing who loved watching romance movies and baking cookies on Friday nights. Now you can shoot a gun with your eyes closed.”

“And you were just getting out of prison,” Snaking your arms around the back of Duff’s neck, you pull him closer to you, noses brushing tenderly. If it weren’t for Duff’s inmate taking the blame for the murder, he still would have been staring at the prison walls. How they were able to fool the system into letting Duff go was unfathomable, but he was here with you now. They had let a man guilty of first degree murder walk free, and that man turned into one obsessed with death. Along the way he found you, recruited you as his companion, and now couldn’t picture a world where you weren’t by his side. “I was smitten with you from the moment we met. And I knew you were trouble. I just didn’t care.”

“And look at us now,” Duff grins, stealing a quick kiss. Tendrils of wavy blond hair tickle your cheeks when he dips down to your lips. You never understood why he felt the need to steal them. Anything he wanted, you gave willingly. The rest of the world saw his demented and damned soul. You were fortunate to know every complex piece of him, but not all of them were rooted in evil. His love for you was genuine, unwavering, quite possibly his only redeeming quality. “America’s Most Wanted.”

Your head snaps over to the sound of an apartment door closing. Jogging down the steps and onto the pavement, a man untangles a green leash before hooking it onto his dog. The word screams in your head. Target.

Duff is already smirking when you look back at him. He gives you an encouraging nod; You dig into the back pocket of your jeans, pulling out the boxcutter with a sly smile. “Go get ‘em, sweetheart.”

[nikosomething]

Thought it might be fun to share my concepts for my Beautiful Sacrifice Series

My Concepts

The women of The Untamed are so amazing ughhh

This whole series happened thanks to @mdzswomen​ s event to honour the women of MDZS. When I read about it I noticed I had never tried to draw any of these amazing women and I knew I needed to change something about that.

My idea was to create a tribute to these strong women and their decision to sacrifice everything. My choice of characters was based on the week one prompts: Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, Mian Mian and A-Qing. There were more prompts and women, but at that time I didn’t even think I’d manage to draw more than two of them let alone a conceptual series.

It all started with Wen Qing, actually, even though she was the prompt for day two. I knew I wanted a really tall format like a banner hanging from a ceiling (as they are often used in an honorary context) and parts of the character to stick out of its boundaries.

As you can see at first I experimented with Wen Qing fiercely staring into the distance. I tried another sketch with her eyes closed and that’s what inspired all other elements, really.

I decided that I wanted to depict one of the saddest, but also most beautiful and strongest aspects of their journey: the end. I’d call it their final moment, but that doesn’t quite cut it. Jiang Yanli saving Wei Wuxian might have been instinctive, but it wasn’t done to her, she chose to push him away, whatever it may cost her. Which is why I want to go for the phrasing of it having been their final decision. It was an action. And a strong one at that. MianMian chose to end her career, unwilling to tolerate those close-minded people. Wen Qing chose to face the Lanling Jin clan, knowing death was a very likely result. A-Qing chose to signal Xue Yang’s position knowing how dangerous he was.

I didn’t want to portray the scene too realistically, but rather in a symbolic way. For the Beautiful Sacrifice Series I wanted to focus on ease/liberation, sadness and beauty. I chose to portray the deceased with closed eyes and a peaceful expression (as they don’t regret their final act), which is why Mian Mian’s eyes are wide open with her determinedly looking ahead. I also included the last sentence we hear each of these women speak in the show before their (old) life ends.

WEN QING

The first character I had a concept for was Wen Qing. I knew immediately that I wanted to include fire as the cause of her death, but I also wanted to simplify it, to turn it more into a symbol than the actual scene of her being burnt alive.

(At least I imagine that that’s what happened, I may be wrong, though. We know they got her ashes. However, she may have been killed first and burnt later. Or they made it a spectacle to watch one of the last Wen die in flames. Very cruel, but perhaps some found it satisfying).

Wen Qing’s hair is floating in the upwind of the fire’s heat. The flames point to the last thing we hear her say. The background is red for the Wen and fades to black to make the fire shine bright.

The colouring process was quite challenging. I spent days on it, it was really giving me a headache hahaha, I just wasn’t satisfied with anything, the colour palette, the shading, the lighting (it’s the first time I tried a more fancy lighting situation). In the end I put some layers on multiply, which actually helped as I now know her robes were coloured too light, which meant there wasn’t enough contrast to the bright flames in the background.

I was really insecure about the whole piece. I am still stunned that Wen Qing is the drawing with the most notes of this entire series. Thank you so much, it gave me a lot of confidence and motivation to keep trying out new stuff!

JIANG YANLI

Immediately after I had scribbled my Wen Qing concept I knew what I wanted Jiang Yanli’s tribute to look like. Soft and tender, like she is. With Wen Qing it’s the powerful flames that make her hair puff up, resembling Wen Qing’s fierce personality. For Jiang Yanli it’s a gentle breeze that lifts a strand of her hair and carries the lotus leaves with it.

Her eyes are closed as she is deceased. A lotus flower is located where she received the lethal wound in her brother's stead. The flower symbolises her sect, family and fond memories (be it playing by the water with her brothers or making lotus root soup).

Jiang Yanli is wearing my favourite outfit of hers and not her mourning robes which she died in, because I think it captures the gentleness of her personality perfectly with the pastel Jiang colour palette (and it’s actually a layer of see-through fabric in the show).

I really enjoyed colouring this piece and while it was the second design it was the first one I did the lineart and colour for.

MIAN MIAN

I wanted to include an element of disillusion since she experiences that moment of humiliation which is followed by the realisation that the Jin clan doesn’t have her back and goes against her morals.

In the caption I wrote: She spoke up, she stood her ground and then she left all these narrow-minded people behind, choosing to walk alone rather than be silenced. She was the true spark amidst plain snow and she had to realise that the white peony she served was rotten. That day she escaped these golden robes, shedding this old skin which had gotten too tight, and stepped into the future that was hers and hers alone.

The white peony is the symbol of the Lanling Jin sect and while it shines brightly on the outside Mian Mian learned to see through the façade, recognising all the rotten parts she didn’t want to tolerate any longer. With her leaving the peony sheds its petals until it vanished from her life.

In my initial sketch Mian Mian is portrayed with the simple robes she wears underneath her Lanling Jin attire. Since I didn’t give Jiang Yanli her mourning robes and didn’t plan on drawing A-Qing in her white robes either it didn’t feel quite right, though.

The phrase “shedding old skin” and the image of a snake came to my mind. First I thought about experimenting with an actual snake or the pattern of its scales. In the end I settled on the Jin robes being that old skin and showed Mian Mian’s personal robes as the shiny new skin underneath. I wanted to show that she may be stepping out of the Jin sect, but that she is starting on a new, meaningful path.

(Drawing the Jin robes was quite bothersome hahaha. I took tons of pictures of me wearing a robe, but it was so slippery that I almost pulled a muscle while trying to make it look right in the photo. I spent an hour or so on it without any satisfying result and ended up drawing it from imagination after all.)

While I loved my sketch the execution was a p-a-i-n. Colouring her personal robes almost drove me mad and the face, the face was such a struggle. I think I redrew it four to five times. I still think I could have done better, but after days of trying to fix it I decided that perhaps I need some more months of practice to get her expression right (so I might re-draw her in the future).

A-QING

I didn’t think I’d enjoy the A-Qing piece as much as I did!! After having drawn three artworks I was worried that I may have exhausted all possibilities / ideas and that it would end up being a repetition of what I had already done.

I rewatched her episodes for inspiration. I watched all significant episodes of all the women I drew for that matter haha. The last thing we hear her say is directed at Song Lan, actually, which in retrospect surprised me. I could have sworn she talked to Xiao Xingchen last. Or Xue Yang (like in the novel). But nope, it’s our poor poor Song Lan.

Given that A-Qing died the youngest (I think?) I wanted to make her look younger than the other women, so I kept her head round and used pastel colours on her face.

I like moths (unless they eat my clothes or settle down in my food). Moths seek the light and in some way Xiao Xingchen was that light in A-Qing’s life. With the glow they symbolise A-Qing’s soul leaving her body through the lethal wound Xue Yang inflicted on her.

I placed one moth on her mouth as she has been muted by Xue Yang. The new moon in the background stands for the eternal darkness Xue Yang cast on her as moonless nights are the darkest.

For A-Qing I wrote in the caption: She couldn’t protect the man who had taken her in and cared for her. But she stayed. She became a lonely guardian, watching out for the remains of her lost brother in the silence and darkness which were forced upon her. Until that fated day when she gave her life so that the culprit who had shattered this tender soul would be brought to justice.

I finished A-Qing’s artwork way quicker than expected. The robes were tricky with all the torn spots and loose thread, but the rest came easy. I had lots of fun with the moths and the moon. And the glow. I love that cool light blue glow.

THANK YOU

All in all I really loved drawing this series and I thank you for your support, for your wonderful tags which make me smile and giggle and for every reblog and like! Whenever I have a hard time I revisit your tags and find strength within them.