#I wanted to do a painting this time just to prove to myself I could
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A redraw of the train scene from Spirited Away but with Pomni and Gangle (bonus Bubble) instead
#I wanted to do a painting this time just to prove to myself I could#I think it looks okay#I had fun doing it and that’s what matters#the amazing digital circus#spirited away#tadc#gangle#Pomni#caine#bubble#digital circus#ghibli#art
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any other trans people ever look at yourself in the mirror, hunting for more masculine/feminine features that you want, and finding even the smallest hint of a hint of, say, facial hair, or roundness in the face, and think maybe, just maybe, that it is miniscule, almost imperceptible evidence is proof your body has realized it's been mistaken all along? like maybe your REAL hormones have finally been activated and now your body has started transitioning to what it should have been all along?
#bluebird.txt#might make a comic out of this lol#just realized this is what i feel and what i wish for#so often. too often. i look at myself and say well do i look more like a boy now than last year? than years ago?#i have more acne. i have more hair in my face. perhaps my body has finally realized its mistake#perhaps the next time i go to the doctor they'll tell me some study came back and i was actually#a guy all along so sorry for the mix-up#it sounds funny but its not#i do wish for this#ive wished for it for a long time#it feels good to put it into words but i need to do more with it#draw it paint it write it down in real paper have a conversation#GODDDD and the worst part is i KNOW its not a thing that will happen. could it yeah MAYBE but it wont#the worst part is that i know and despite knowing i hope so fucking hard#like if i believe hard enough if i just believe it hard enough i wont have to go through the process#of telling everyone i want to be a man#of going to the doctor and fighting the seven million levels of laws and doctors tests#to prove i can perhaps be eligible for testosterone#if i believe hard enough maybe ill have been a boy all along and everyone will accept me as i want to be#sigh.
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Collision
Prompt: Unfortunately, Sylus decided to drop by your apartment for a surprise visit the same day Zayne agreed to stay the night.
Content: Zayne&Reader, Sylus&Reader. no proofread sorry.
masterlist
Credits rolled on the screen and you cheered with a round of applause. Zayne followed your lead with his usual lack of intention to show enthusiasm and a stoic face. As the black screen led to a final musical number with all the crew in colorful outfits, you stretched your arms over your head and rolled your neck to get rid of the stiffness of laying on the floor for so long.
The lights were down and the cortines closed to add to the atmosphere. You sang to the tune, following the choreography you knew by heart with exaggerated passion, pushing Zayne’s arm to encourage him to join you. He didn’t, of course. Instead, he straightened his crossed legs and stood with his socks over the sheets and cushions you had thrown over the carpet to get yet another extra layer between you and the cold tile.
You held a high note holding an invisible microphone to your face, throwing your head back and striking a pose. You then motion to Zayne to take the spotlight for the next line.
“C’mon, Zayne! I know you’re a good singer!” You teased him.
“I prefer to keep my talents to myself.” Mr. Too Cool To Party pated over his dress pants to shape them back into their ironed form. “And lower your volume, you’ll get complaints from the neighbors.”
You didn’t let his attitude kill your mood –but you did quiet down a little bit, just in case.
“What time is it?” You asked as the music died down and the screen faded back to black. The sudden pain and tingly sensation that took over when you moved your leg warned you not to try to get on your feet just yet.
Zayne fixed up the sleeves of his shirt, pulling them back down and buttoning them up. He flicked his wrist so he could see his watch properly, then walked to the closest window and pulled the heavy clothes just a small fraction out of the way with one finger. The sky was a dark mass sprinkled with silver dust. The city lights painted reds, whites and yellows as far as the eye could see.
“Twenty minutes ‘till two.” Said Zayne, letting his finger drop and covering the view back down again. And moving to the stitch on the wall to turn on the lights of the living room.
You blinked.
“Wow.” Almost two in the morning?
You invited Zayne over for a movie marathon. It was a plan you had been postponing for a few weeks since his schedule was often messy and unpredictable. You guessed maybe now that you had finally been able to do it you got a little bit over excited and ‘Just one more movie’ turned into this.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize it was this late.” You scratched your neck and felt a tweak of guilt in your chest.
“It’s okay. Tomorrow is my day off. Well… today.” You winced. Zayne rarely had a good night of sleep pulling so many extra hours at work. To top it off, you picked him up from the hospital that afternoon after a long shift and he was too stubborn to take a nap. You didn’t even want to think how long he had been awake by now. He was certainly in no condition to drive.
“Do you want to stay the night?”
The question seemed to have taken him off guard because he stiffed before squaring his back again. He coughed and turned his face to look at you from over his shoulder.
“There is no need for that.”
“You have been awake for too long for it to be safe to sit behind the wheel.”
“I can just call a cab for that.” He pulled his phone from his pocket as if to prove he could.
“How long is it going to be until you get home? Aren’t you tired?”
“It’ll be forty minutes at most.” He typed on his password and set a stubborn hand over his waist. You looked at the side of his profile, and bit your lower lip. If there was one person who was more bullheaded than you, that was Dr. Zayne.
You made an effort to stand and walked to his side, trying to pick your face between him and his phone screen to force him to look at you for a second. He ignored you.
“We had plenty of sleepovers when we were kids, it would be nice to do it again. You rarely come to my apartment if it’s not to pick me up for something.” His expression didn’t show any sign of hesitation. You decided to take out the heavy ammunition. Knowing Zayne’s weak spot for puppy eyes after seeing him give in to his smallest patiences’ trickery, you hucked your hands around his arm and with pouty lips –Zayne’s health came before dignity– you attempted an attack.
“Please? I’m worried about you.”
Zayne looked down and away from the screen when you tugged on his arm. The words he was about to say died on his tongue and after a stuttering couple of minutes, an emotion you couldn’t catch flashed across his eyes. Probably the effect of your inexperienced pleading. God, you were sure you looked ridiculous right now.
I do this for your own good, Zayne.
His expression went from startled to a frown, but you didn’t budget. You could see a hint of internal struggle, which meant that it was working, so you squeezed his arm a little bit closer to your chest and waited.
Finally, the struggle gave way to resignation and you knew you'd had won.
“Fine.” He said in a cold voice. He held the bridge of his nose with two fingers and closed his eyes with exasperation, “but let go of my arm.”
You let a triumphal smile spread across your face since he couldn’t see you and you let go. “Great!” You sang, “We’ll have to find you some clothes for you to sleep on. I’m sure I have some oversize pieces at the back of my closet. Let me look for them.”
You ran off to your room, leaving a distress doctor sighing at your back.
No more than fifthteen minutes later, Zayne was on your biggest (oldest) black hoodie, stretched and torn after so many washing cycles, and a pair of gray sweatpants that barely got to his calf. You had retrieved a back up toothbrush from a dark corner of the cabinet –still in its box–, and he was brushing in the bathroom while you finished picking up the stuff in the living room.
“You are too big for the couch, I’m telling you. And you can’t sleep while sitting down, your neck will kill you tomorrow.” One argument had turned into the next. Now you were trying to explain to a six-foot-one man how tall he was. “And you could sleep on the floor if you wanted, but my bed is big. I don’t know why this is such a big deal for y—”
The doorbell rang from across the room giving you a startle.
Shi—.
“Who rings someone’s doorbell at two in the morning?” You asked, annoyed. What a way to scare the living hell out of someone.
You heard Zayne’s voice muffled from the bathroom.
“Probably some kids playing around.” His voice was followed by the sound of water running as he rinsed his mouth.
You scolded and dropped the cushions in their designated spot over the dining chairs. With angry stumps, you moved to the small screen next to the door. The security camera showed the image of the main door of the building.
Empty.
There was no one in front of the glass windows, not even a shadow under the iridescent light of the streets.
They run off. Rascals.
You prompted both your fits over your waist. “Seriously, that’s just annoying. I don’t see how this would be entertaining for anyone.”
“You can’t take in a joke?” Zayn’s voice sounds closer than before. He had walked off the bathroom and was moving to the kitchen area with that signature faint smirk in his lips.
“Oh, shut up.” You shushed him. You heard a low chuckle and the clinking of glass as he looked for something in one of the cabinets. You turned back to the screen, bent over and squinted your eyes, paying close attention for any sign of movement. Nothing.
Fine. You will let it go this time, but next time you would teach them not to play pranks on a hunter’s house.
You straighten back up and turn around. Immediately, someone knocked on the door behind you.
“What—!” You jumped.
“What was that?” Zayne asked from the kitchen.
“I– A neighbor?” You asked, your voice full of doubt even as you said it. You turned back to look at the door.
Oh, fuck. It was the singing, wasn’t it?
You groaned and covered your face, feeling the blood rushing to your face, making it go hot.
“I told you they would complain.” Said Zayne all coky, seemingly having the same idea as you.
“Be quiet. I stopped singing a while ago, this is probably because you were being stubborn about the couch. They probably hear us screaming at each other from one room to the other.”
“Well, I don’t live here, so this is your problem.”
You sighed. You were regretting your merciful soul. Maybe you should have let him fall asleep behind the wheel so he would learn his lesson by himself. No, you slapped your face with both hands. Leave those dark thoughts. One problem at a time.
Taking a deep breath, you faced the door. You fixed your appearance as best as you could before taking the doorknob into your hand and plastering an apologetic smile into your face. You opened the door slowly, and embarrassingly showed yourself from the crack of the door.
The apology dried down in your lips and your eyes went wide when you saw the person at the other side. The shock was such that you weren't able to hold back the surprise pitch in your voice when a word escape you,
“Sylus?!”
“Lower your volume, kitten. It’s late.” He laughed and held a finger to his lips. He stood there in his whole glory, covered in black leather. His jacket opened to show a white shirt with a small stain of blood close to the hem of his neck and his golden pendant hanging over his chest. His red eyes flickering with the light of the common corridor.
You started with your mouth open and let the expression set, seemingly pleased to have baffled you stupid as he often did. What is he doing at the door of your apartment? Your blood rushed again, this time with a more displeasing feeling.
You held the door tight, narrowing the gap that let him see into the apartment as much as you could without closing it right in front of his face.
“There are cameras everywhere in this building. I told you to stop doing this. What are you doing here?” You whispered between greeted teeth, a mix of anger and alarm.
He lowered himself to be eye to eye with you, placing a heavy hand against the door. Not yet pushing it open, but to at least make sure you couldn’t lock him out. He followed you lead by whispering his next words too.
“I missed you, that’s all.” His eyes flashed with amusement. Great, you gave him a great reaction –that sight of infatuation he liked to trigger on you– and now he was hooked and ready to play you around.
You swallow the come back lingering at the tip of your tongue. Don’t entertain him. You kept your expression neutral but firm when you said,
“Not today, Sylus.”
“What, are you tired? You can go ahead and sleep, I just want to sit with you for a little bit.” He moved closer until your noses almost touched. His whispers turn into soft spoken words. “Some pests have been running around causing trouble lately. They’re sneaky and give me a little bit of a headache. That’s why I haven't been able to come and see you lately. I still need to go back to work, so it will only be for a moment. Is that alright?”
You didn’t answer, running possible excuses for him to leave as soon as possible. While he waited for your answer, something seemed to come to mind. He moved back a fraction and tilted his head to the side, curiosity in his gaze.
“You opened the door quite fast. You weren’t asleep yet?” Whatever look you gave him was enough for him to know the answer to that. He laughed quietly and straightened back up, “Are you misbehaving, kitten?”
Deciding the most efficient way to deal with Sylus was to tell him to get the hell out of there, you opened your mouth to tell him off. He would always listen to you if he saw true displeasure in your expression.
In that instant, a voice came from behind your back.
“Is everything alright?” Zayne’s tone was calm, but also somehow worried and vigilant to your ears.
At the sound of the voice, Sylus’ smile dropped. Red lights swarmed in his pupils, turning to the deepest crimson, as black as blood when you gash out an important artery.
“Who is that?” His tone was sharp as knives. Games aside, he didn’t care about keeping his words a whisper anymore.
“I…”
“Are you asking about me?” Zayne’s calm tone turned into stone.
Sylus’ gaze twitched when he heard it again. His eyes clocked on you, almost threatening. He studied you, running his eyes over you from the tip of your toes to your face, looking for something. You tensed under his scrutiny, wondering why it made you feel so vulnerable. This was the hard gaze Sylus would use with the people he considered rats tampering with his trash and ruining his sidewalk. You weren’t used to those eyes looking down on you.
“Did I interrupt something?”
“If it was the noise that bothered you, we apologize for the inconvenience. We will stay quiet from now on, we were setting on to sleep.” Sylus’ attention moved over your head as if trying to see through the door to the person on the other side. “We can talk about this more in the morning if you’d like.” When Zayne finished his statement, Sylus’ slowly moved back to look you in the eyes. There was a lingering note of danger when he repeated Zayne’s words to you.
“...The noise?”
It was as if the cat had eaten your tongue. Sylus didn’t look alright. The sight of it made your brain immediately try to recall the spare gun hiding in a drawer in the kitchen.
A hand wrapped around your arm and pushed you away from the door.
—
Zayne brushed his teeth with his eyes passively staring at his reflection on the mirror over the sink. Your voice came loud from the end of the hall through the opened bathroom door. His expression remained stoic while listening to you talk some nonsense about waiting to share the bed with him from the living room. He deemed for every word of yours to get in one ear and out the next.
Rather than pay attention to your rumbling, he moved his gaze around over your creams and trinkles next to the tap and over the shelves on the side. Your towels hung on the walls, and the tiles on the floor showed small details coloured in gold.
Your soap scented the room, the air clean, light and sweet.
His eyes returned to his double in the mirror. The hoodie you handed him had gone from black to gray from washing, and the sweat pants had a hole on one side over one of the seams. He felt the softness of the worn down fabric and the scent of the softener in your clothes.
“I don’t know why this is such a big deal for y—”
The doorbell rang. His body flinched, his shoulders jumped sending his hand a little too far into his mouth, almost stabbing his throat with the toothbrush. You cursed between your teeth, the sound softened by the distance.
He frowned. He turned his head around, over the pile of neatly folded clothes lay his watch. He reached for it with his fingers and shifted it his way to look at the dial. Two past seven in the morning. Who in their right mind rings into someone’s house at this hour in the middle of the night?
“Who rings someone’s doorbell at two in the morning?” You asked from the living room.
Zayne put down the brush and held a hand to his neck, coughing lightly to get rid of the sting of pain at the back of his throat. He ran his fingers through his hair, regained some composure and washed the frown from his face.
He went on to turn on the tap as he answered,
“Probably some kids playing around.”
He let the water run to wash as best as he could at the lack of a shower. He blindly reached his hand for a towel and got the water away from his eyes. There was still a lingering line of annoyance at whoever had almost made him choke.
The smell of you on the towel took over his system again and his mind railed back to the thoughts he had been fighting and the alarming sensation of a fluttery feeling over his heart. The echo of your words from earlier and the feeling of your body pressing against his arm flooded him again.
He pressed his heart over the fluff of the towel and closed his eyes.
The sensation of heart palpitations might just be early signs of arrhythmia.
He uncovered his face and sighed. Putting the towel away, he moved his pile of clothes over the lid of the laundry basket and walked towards the hall and into the kitchen
“Seriously, that’s just annoying. I don’t see how this would be entertaining for anyone.” You said while leaning forward with your fits on your waist and annoyance clear in your tone. He could imagine your face scrunched up and the pout in your lips and he couldn’t help the smile that escaped him.
“You can’t take a joke?” He said, stepping into the kitchen door.
“Oh, shut up.” You snapped back and his smile grew wider. He moved to look through the cabinets over the counter. The uneven sets of plates and glasses spoke of your habit of hoarding all types of stuff that called your attention for either being ‘cute’ or colorful. He was looking for a pair of glasses that wouldn’t be embarrassing to drink from while you mumbled under your breath to the camera next to the front door.
You were still so vivid at this hour of the night, singing and dancing and cursing so freely. It made him wonder about your sleep schedule and if you were lying during your check ups about getting proper rest. He was about to make a comment about it when the sound of knocking on the door startled him again.
His hands freezed over one of the glasses, almost making it fall out of the cabinet and into the floor. He heard you hold back a scream and his body tensed.
“What was that?” He asked.
“I– A neighbor?” Your voice sounded as if you were trying to reassure yourself. However the idea made sense. Your vividness had come back to bite you. The scandal had been quite a deal. Maybe it would teach you about not having to stay so late at night in the future.
“I told you they would complain.”
You bikered with him and he enjoyed it. He was usually so inclined to mind his own business and stay quiet since he never had the patience for conflict, but since you two came back to be together he had discovered how entertaining it was to tease you.
He heard the door being unlocked and seconds later yet another scream, “Sylus?!”
Zayne turned to look over his shoulder, listening attentively. The name didn’t sound familiar to him, but your tone let clear you knew who they were. A man’s voice answered, dulled by the distance, but he sounded calm.
After your initial reaction the conversation turned quiet. Since you seemed to know him and there was no other striking reaction after your initial surprise, he felt he should be inclined to think that everything was fine. However, he couldn’t shake the wary feeling on his chest.
He put two glasses over the counter and filled them with water. Your conversation was a steady murmur he couldn’t properly pull apart. And when the buzzing of the refrigerator engine rose, he felt the urge to get closer to the kitchen door to try to catch on any word he could.
You were hunching forward with your head picking out the hall through a small opening in between the door and its frame. You held into the doorknob with white knuckles and your shoulders were tense like wire.
The light sense of instinctive wariness turned into something sharper. Then, he heard a chuckle.
A male’s voice, husky and oddly cheery, came from the other side, making the hair at the end of his neck stand on end and his gut kicked with a warning.
He walked slowly from behind you. All he could hear were the desperation in your whispers talking to the person behind the door.
“Is everything all right?”
There was a beat of silence, and all the cheerfulness had been washed away from the voice when the man. The voice was stone cold when he lashed his next question at you,
“Who is that?”
What kind of questions was that?
“Are you asking about me?” He intervened before you could give this man any type of answer.
Another beat of silence, and there was a layer of threat in the man’s voice when he said his next line.
“Did I interrupt something?”
“If it was the noise that bothered you, we apologize for the inconvenience. We will stay quiet from now on, we were setting on to sleep. We can talk about this more in the morning if you’d like.” This wasn’t a situation he wanted to muse over. You had gone completely still at the door. Zayne couldn’t figure out what kind of person this would be for you to not lash out at them by the tone he was using. He walked in strides towards the door, and he had extended his arm to pull you away by the time he heard the next question.
—
“...The noise?”
Sylus saw you disappear inside the apartment and a second later a tall figure positioned itself in front of him at the door.
He licked the sharp edge of his teeth, taking one deep breath to clear the rampage that had been set on his mind. He wanted to keep steady and not act in a rush. Who would have thought that you were actually out there being naughty while he was retained by the lame games of a sneaky dirty gang.
Sylus’ eyes were set on the man’s chest at the door since he was way taller than you. And when he felt like he had a hold of his temper again, he slowly slid them up to see the man’s face. What he found there made the last of his temper untwine and his posture relaxed. He couldn’t help but arch one of his brows with curiosity.
The doctor.
Sharp jaw, black hair, green eyes, constipated expression. It was a face he could recognize easily since he had got to see it too often in pictures and files Luke and Kieran collected for him. Someone many would call a prodigy. A cardiac surgeon at Akso Hospital, well known and respected by both his teachers and pairs. Level-headed, serious, pragmatic.
And a wimp.
Sylus’ irritability washed away from his eyes and his gaze recovered the glint of amusement.
Granted, this was the first time he met the Doctor in person, but he had seen enough of him to feel like they were old acquaintances. To Sylus’ eyes the cold expressions were nothing but a façade. It might be something that spooked others away from looking for too long in his direction, but to someone like him that wasn’t a barrier of any type. The man was actually a lot more transparent than one might feel.
Kieran had quite the hand for photography, and enjoyed capturing good images with feeling. Sylus had seen a significant amount of pictures of the shy side glance looks the Doctor sent your way when you weren’t looking. His feelings for you were clear as day, and by the light in his eyes, Sylus could tell it was an old type of love.
When he learned you and the Doctor had met when you were children the look made even more sense. It also gave Sylus some reassurance. To him it was obvious: Doctor here had a childhood crush that had rutted too deep into his heart, and after holding it in for so many years, and giving his shy personality, he was probably never going to confess in his lifetime out of the possibility of you saying no.
“We were too enthusiastic about our movie night earlier. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I presume we all have work tomorrow. It would be better to discuss this at some other time.”
With context about who your visitor was, it was clear to him that he had nothing to worry about.
The Doctor’s eyes set on Sylus and discreetly looked him up and down. Should he have known he would come to meet your childhood friend he would have chosen some better clothes. He moved his hand to cover a strain in his shirt from the altercation from earlier with his jacket. A virtuous fellow like him would certainly disapprove of his attitude, and Sylus had always considered first impressions to be very important.
The contempt in the Doctor's eyes didn’t stroke him as a surprise. What a shame, Sylus sighed. He always thought that if he played his cards well he and the Doctor could strike up a good friendship since they were both smart men and shared very similar… taste.
Sylus took a second to assess the situation. From behind the Doctor’s back, you slide him a warning glance. The poison in your eyes made his heart flutter like a teen with his first crush. Biting back a smile, he decided to show some mercy just this one time. The Doctor was not wrong, it was pretty late at night and you should take some rest now.
Leaving your eyes he moved to look straight at the doctor’. With a motion he knew his type would dislike, he lifted up his chin and looked at him from above.
“Well, I’m glad you are aware of your mistake.” His eyes deflected to you so the Doctor would catch it. “My neighbor here was too stubborn to admit it.” The Doctor’ nails pressed against the wood of the frame.
Upon closer inspection, Sylus noticed the virtuous doctor’s clothes and the way his pants barely covered his shin. Well, he had never been offered clean clothes when he stayed at your house. Favoritism games were not fun, dear.
By his expression, Syrus feared the good doctor might decide to start throwing punches. As fun as it could be to help him start a criminal record of his own, he was sure you would scold him for it. So he decided to cut the conversation short.
“Fine. I am tired myself.” He turned on his heels and looked over his shoulder to throw you a wink. “I will discuss this with my neighbor some other day, when we have both cooled down.”
If the man had a reaction, Sylus decided to miss it. The only thing that got to his ear was a muffled sound and your voice whispering the Doctor’s name.
The apartment door closed behind him with a click. He could only imagine the Doctor’s questions for you if he even dared to pronounce them.
His phone ding with an incoming message and he pulled it out of his pocket. Kieran had updates on the gangster’s location and urged him to go back to work. With a heavy sight he stepped down the hall into the elevator. The night hadn’t gone as he had planned it too, but he got to see you at the very least.
He still wasn’t worried about the doctor’s slender, well taken care of fingers and where they might try to stick to, but just in case, because he was a cautious man, he pondered if he should send Mephisto to make sure you didn’t get yourself into any trouble.
#lads sylus#lads zayne#lads#love and deepspace#sylus#zayne#x reader#sylus x mc#sylus x reader#zayne x mc#zayne x reader#🍰 short fic
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Coming back after being almost a week without electricity, phone, and internet connection. Huge storms with lightning and rain, and winds. We have never have winds like that here and the roof of so many houses were ripped off, stuff flying, etc. All this bc global warming, and the deforestation and mining in our lands. At this rate, in 5 years we will have tornadoes, a thing we have never ever have here. Nor our lands, infrastructures, states, and culture are prepared for this. Areas of the country are devastated, ppl have died, many are without electricity nor Internet connection so they are isolated. The houses are flooding with water, and the ones that not, are leaking from the ceiling. Too many neighbours and compatriots don't have roofs and the streets are full of fallen trees and pieces of roof material, no electricity, no signal, food rotting, but suffering at the same time for the cold of this terrible winter, and trying to do something, patching even when its gonna go to hell when the storm comes again this next days. More than 33,200 people affected and 41,500 isolated due to 5 days of rain and windstorms. In just a couple of days there were 170,000 homes left without power due to wind and rainstorms and even more as time went by.






If u want to help me to fix the roof, walls, to buy food and being warm this winter please check my PayPal. If u can't donate, please reblog bc thats the only way to make this being seen by ppl thus receiving help. I'm really not being able to keep living like this, i can no longer cope, so please share.
Here are in my PayPal or MACH . I took the kofi link bc they were charging me a fee.
Please, educate about global warming and the effects on Global South, specially for working class, chronically ill, autistic, disable, and long covid survivor ppl like myself.
Edit: I added links and pics
Edit: the weather is better (is finally spring at this current date 24th nov), but I still need to fix were I live/sleep bc the walls are broken and one of the walls is not a wall, but like 1cm wide stuff and all was bad build so even the door is twisted and dont work correctly, there is black mold that i think is damaging my ears, the paint is falling, the lamp has fallen, everything is broken and ugly, etc. I still need to buy food, meds, and everything so please, please, share or donate if you could. I don't want to survive like this and here, no one mask even when they were the ones giving me covid and they have making me also catch flu the other day bc they cogh over everything and don't care if they kill me, they are abusive and really violent people and are working to put me and everyone in danger. I dont even want to be in my country bc we will have a dictatorship soon, but I have nowhere else to go nor money to migrate (i need like $10.537 dollars or € 9.760,95 euros to pay all the documents, the bank money I have to show to prove I am a human being deserver of rights, the tickets, rent money and stuff to migrate).
I currently (date 14 Jan 2025) have $100 dollars donated (coz i spent 40 in food and meds this past month)
I know i will die here, but at least help me to survive in a less dehumanising way.
Edit: tumblr has blocked me from recive or send messages from the chat and comment of posts, so if you are trying to reach throughout there I can't see it, sorry, I'm cut from any communication (cant even see past messages from chat or asks), except send asks. I'm waiting that tumblr do something, but still hasn't even answered the help file I sent to them.
#global warming#shot of stress#signal boost#support request#support one another#artist in need#disabled#chronic illness#community#health#housing#life#ecology#trans support#covid survivor#long covid#cpunk#autistic#actually autistic#latino#latinoamérica#food insecurity#suicideprevention#emergency#house#living#natural disasters#floods#political exile#political persecution
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Chasing The Calm || Max Verstappen
summary: When a young, determined intern crosses paths with Formula 1 champion Max Verstappen, their connection defies expectations.



Your heart raced as you walked through the paddock. As an intern in the Red Bull communications team, being part of the Formula 1 world was a dream come true. At just 21 years old, you were the youngest on the team, always trying to prove you deserved to be there.
Max Verstappen, on the other hand, was your opposite. At 27, he was already a four-time world champion who seemed to have lived a thousand lives at Formula 1’s relentless pace. Your paths often crossed, but only in fleeting smiles or quick “thank yous” in passing. Until that night.
After another long workday, you were sitting in one of the common areas, reviewing some notes. The paddock was nearly deserted, save for the sound of approaching footsteps. When you looked up, Max stood there, watching you curiously.
“Do you always work this late?” he asked, his voice calm, marked by his distinct Dutch accent.
“Not always,” you replied, trying to maintain a professional demeanor. “Just making sure everything’s ready for tomorrow.”
He tilted his head slightly, studying you. “Always so dedicated. Shouldn’t you be out enjoying the night? You’re young; you’ve got the energy for it.”
You laughed softly, trying to hide your nervousness. “Maybe. But it looks like you’re still here too, so I could say the same about you.”
Max smiled, a genuine one. He pulled out the chair beside you and sat down—a move you didn’t expect. “Fair enough. I guess I’ve spent so much time here I’ve forgotten what a normal night feels like.”
A comfortable silence settled between you, a rarity amidst the chaos of paddock life. You could feel his gaze on you—not invasive, but thoughtful, like he was trying to piece you together.
“So,” he began, breaking the silence, “what brought you to Formula 1?”
“It’s been my dream for as long as I can remember,” you admitted, resting your chin on your hand. “I love the sport, the competition… and I wanted to prove to myself I could get here, even being younger than most.”
Max nodded, as though he understood more than he let on. “I get it. When I joined, I was 17. Everyone said I was too young, that I wasn’t ready. But I think that just made me want to work harder.”
Your eyes met his, and you realized that despite the differences in your age and experience, there was something you shared—a determination to prove yourselves.
“You’re different,” he said suddenly.
“How so?”
“You’re… calm. Most people who are confident talk a lot, try to prove they know everything. But you’re quiet. It’s… refreshing.”
Your throat went dry. You hadn’t expected him to say that, but something about his sincerity made you feel at ease.
“Well, maybe it’s because I’m still learning,” you said with a small smile. “And maybe because I think there’s more to gain from listening than talking.”
He let out a soft chuckle, low and genuine. “You know, I think you’re right.”
A Few Days Later
Your encounters with Max became more frequent. He always found a reason to talk to you—a quick “good luck” before a press conference or a casual “How’s it going?” during a break.
One evening, as the sun dipped low, painting the paddock in warm tones, Max called you over for a conversation. You stood together by the track, away from the buzz of activity.
“You know,” he began, leaning against a safety barrier, “I should probably tell you to stay away from me.”
You frowned, confused. “Why?”
“Because this world is messy. My life is messy. I’m not exactly the kind of guy who can offer you stability.”
You crossed your arms, trying to mask the sting of his words. “And what makes you think I want stability?”
He blinked, caught off guard by your response. “Most people do.”
“I’m not most people,” you said firmly, meeting his gaze.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “That’s what I’m afraid of. You’re different. You’re... honest, and grounded. And being around you makes me forget the chaos. But that’s dangerous—for you and for me.”
You stepped closer, your voice softer but unwavering. “Maybe I don’t mind a little danger. Maybe you shouldn’t decide what’s best for me.”
His eyes searched yours, conflicted but vulnerable in a way you hadn’t seen before. “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”
“Then let me find out,” you said, offering a small, reassuring smile.
For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. Max hesitated, then reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. His touch was gentle, his expression tender yet uncertain.
“You’re stubborn,” he murmured, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Maybe,” you replied. “But so are you.”
He laughed softly, the tension easing slightly. “You’re going to make my life even more complicated, aren’t you?”
“Probably,” you teased. “But isn’t that what makes it worth it?”
Max shook his head, a mix of exasperation and admiration. “You’re impossible.”
“And yet, here you are,” you pointed out with a smirk.
He didn’t reply right away, but the look in his eyes said everything. Slowly, he leaned in, his forehead resting against yours.
“Just promise me one thing,” he whispered.
“What’s that?”
“Don’t regret it.”
You smiled, your heart pounding but your voice steady. “I won’t. Will you?”
For the first time, Max didn’t have an answer. Instead, he kissed you, the world around you fading away as you both took the first step into something neither of you could predict but both of you craved.
#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1#formula 1#f1 fic#max verstappen#red bull racing#red bull formula 1#red bull f1#red bull team#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#max vertsappen x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#formula 1 x reader
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I'm sorry that the terfs made their way onto your blog but it does feel good to see you support trans people. Thank you for that
Always.
I think, charitably, that the discourse going down on that post is an extrapolation and over-focus on one element of the point I was making: that for me, determining with certainty that I was cis was a rather fraught process. I was presented with many alternatives, but underlying their imposition on me was the oddly regressive idea that the things I liked, the principles I valued, the parts of myself I was proud of were not permitted of women. My whole life I got smacked with the background radiation that I couldn't like being strong because women aren't allowed to be stronger than men. I couldn't like being loud and boistrous because women aren't allowed to take up space. I couldn't be a math geek because women aren't smart. It was all deeply regressive misogyny from day one, but I started getting hit with it slathered in a fresh coat of paint - all those assumptions still held to be true, but now there was the out that I could do all those things if I just wasn't a woman.
Concluding that the underlying bioessentialist premise was wrong was very important. Absolutely none of those statements were true, and were only ever maintained by cultural saturation, goalpost-readjustment when they were actively disproven, and the occasional bout of lying with statistics to pretend they weren't just Shit All The Way Down. The core premise that certain things were only permitted of or possible for men was bullshit, and I didn't need to surrender the gender I liked best in order to play in the spaces I wanted to. I could simply exist the way I was already existing. I didn't need anything else.
The misinterpretation is the assumption that this being true of me means this is everybody's relationship with gender. I turned out to be cis, so for me, feeling that holding onto my assigned gender wasn't allowed was distressing - just another invocation of the same bioessentialist bullshit I'd been dealing with since the preschool playground. This is because misgendering is fundamentally denying that a person has the right to express themself the way they want. When aimed at me, it says I'm not performing traditional femininity well enough to deserve my pronouns. The same disrespect is the root of misgendering when aimed at trans people. "Perform your gender to my satisfaction or I will confiscate it."
The problem is, bioessentialism is 100% ingrained into the terf playbook, which is why, for instance, all their shitty talking points about trans athletes eventually boil down to "no woman can ever defeat a man in any contest because we are simply naturally weak and stupid and there is nothing we can do about it" and quite frankly nothing disgusts me more than the defeatist acceptance of the very lie that feminism is dedicated to overcoming. Instead of accepting that the paradigm of bioessentialism is a false dichotomy right from the jump, they embrace and weaponize it against the people whose existence proves the dichotomy is a lie. If gender essentialism is fundamentally false, then it is nobody's fucking business what anybody does with their gender. If the lines don't exist, nobody needs to enforce them. And yet there the terfs go, hunting down people whose lives are none of their business and trying to argue that they represent some great and terrible evil, some downfall of society made flesh, something that makes it totally correct and normal for them to spend so much time thinking about strangers' genitalia. They want this to be a noble crusade so badly they won't even examine what flag they're flying.
I love and support the trans people in my life and will always, always stand on the side of your right to exist, but alongside that, terf rhetoric especially disgusts and infuriates me because it is, at its heart, utter cowardice. The world told them they were weak and stupid and inferior and they fucking believed it. And now they think Fighting The Good Fight For Women means turning around and using the same paradigmatic weapon that hurt them to hurt the people whose existence outside the binary proves the weapon is a lie. They're the same shithead schoolyard bullies who made me believe my entire existence was foundationally wrong for years of my life and I will never, ever side with them or the shitty, cowardly rhetoric that contributed to the loneliest years of my life.
Figure out who you are and do it on purpose. Find the real source of the misery in your life and try fighting that instead of the other crabs in the bucket. Trans rights.
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How do you draw your high contrast, shape-y pieces? I’ve tried something similar but it always end up off, any recommendations on brushes or exercises that could help with improvement?
(I wasn't sure what part was giving you trouble, so this is sorta an all-over smattering 😅 hopefully some of it helps!)
• the kind of brushes don't really matter, just what you're comfortable with using! more chisel-shaped or calligraphy-style brushes might be harder to control strokes with though. I do personally like using brushes that are like...Mostly Round But With a Little Grit to 'Em!
• work at a higher size and/or resolution than your final size (I usually work at ~3x final size). scaling down will smooth out little imperfections and some of the little aliasing weirdness that comes from raster transformations (scale/rotate/etc.)
• drawing with your arm, as in moving from your elbow while keeping your wrist pretty still, makes big smooth curves much easier (you can also go from the shoulder for BIG movements)
• most drawing programs will let you rotate the canvas -- drawing downward strokes tend to be easier to control (extra cheat: if a stroke is proving troublesome, I'll sometimes draw it as best I can on a new layer, move/rotate it into the exact position I want, and then merge it down again)
• instead of trying to draw a super precise shape and fill it in, I usually draw a bigger, shittier shape, and then use an eraser or layer mask to kinda chisel it into the shape I want:
• Always Check Your Values -- especially if you're finding your colors feel kinda muddy or not contrast-y enough, it's a good idea to make sure there's contrast in the light/dark as well as the hue/saturation! I usually have an adjustment layer set to 0 saturation that I keep on top of my document, and just periodically toggle on and off to check. (there's some debate about the most accurate way to check values, but this works well enough for high-contrast solid blocks of color.)
• on the same note, instead of using pure grayscale colors, particularly full black (#000000) and white (#FFFFFF), adding a little bit of color into them can give you a richer, more interesting and more cohesive result.
(and even when using pure grays, using slightly "off" from full black and white can be more interesting! and it's not to say DON'T use black and white and gray, more just...use them thoughtfully, instead of by default?)
• color thumbs/sketches/roughs, whatever you want to call them. people get SO weird at me about these for some reason, but they're literally just...a little sketch of figuring out colors before you start painting. they don't have to be final or detailed or any good or whatever, it's just to get a starting idea! working super fast and loose especially helps to get out of the mindset of Doing A Good Drawing and more into messing around with shapes and negative space and all that fun stuff. :> then later you can focus on the Doing A Good Drawing part, without having to also think too hard about the other stuff.
• Keep It Simple -- 100% the hardest part. I have absolutely not mastered this in any way. 💀 it's SO easy to overwork this style and end up too detailed/too unfocused/just too much going on -- half the time I spend on these things is just adding details -> squinting at it for a couple of minutes -> erasing all the details again. you gotta keep in mind that it's about getting an idea across more than anything else, and when it comes to that, less is almost always more!
(this is one of the reasons I sometimes make myself use SUPER restricted palettes; when you only have three colors, it forces you to really think about what's important to show and how to leave things implied. ✌️)
#how do art#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 13 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 13 spoilers#i didn't think about the spoilers until i was about to post this. shit. sorry :')#th-they were just the easiest examples to pull up#anyway hope there's something helpful in here somewhere#we have established that i am supremely unqualified to give out art advice so...if you can pull anything out of this then more power to you
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Hypothetically speaking

Summary: Hypothetically speaking, Bucky Barnes is the perfect man. You have a list that proves it. What happens when someone overhears you telling Natasha about it?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Warnings: None, just fluff
Words: A drabble at 800 words

"All I'm saying is, hypothetically, Bucky is the perfect boyfriend," you whisper to Natasha over the kitchen table.
"And why do you think that?" Her green eyes stare past you, making you nervous for a second before her gaze meets yours. "Hypothetically speaking, of course." Natasha knew how you felt about Bucky but humoured you nonetheless.
You don't hear anything so you continue, "Well, I mean, he's the full package. Just look at what he's like," you chuckle. You lift your thumb as you start counting the points. "He's handsome with his dark hair and his eyes to die for." Your index finger goes up, "He's quiet but authoritative, like the time he saw a guy bothering me at the bar. He didn't hesitate before threatening him with bodily harm if he didn't stop bothering not just me - but all the ladies in the bar." Your middle finger rises, "He's got muscles galore like we've seen when he and Steve burn off extra energy in the gym and take their shirts off." Your ring finger raises, "And he's kind - too kind sometimes. Remember I told you about that time we were stuck in the rain in the middle of nowhere on a mission? He gave me his jacket and stood freezing in the pouring rain for more than an hour while we waited for our pickup." Finally, your pinkie raises, "Then there's the vibranium arm," you say as you drop your hand, your eyes sparkling with excitement.
Natasha smirks at the look that crosses your face when you talk about Bucky's prosthetic arm. "What about his arm? Most people would think it's a bad thing."
"Huh, as if! If they think that, then they're stupid. His arm is amazing. The black and gold design makes him look like a masterpiece painting. If I were an artist, I could spend hours watching him, getting every shadow and groove perfectly immortalized on the canvas." You giggle softly before continuing, "He's super strong - even stronger than Steve is, with that arm. He has amazing coordination and precision, and the temperature difference between his human hand and his vibranium hand is awesome. On a hot day, you can hold his left hand without sweating like crazy, and on a cold day, his right hand will be nice and toasty. But the biggest thing?" You take a deep breath, "His arm is vibranium, so I'm 100% sure his arm won't fall asleep like a normal man's when spooning with him in bed. A woman can lie on that arm for hours - I'm sure Bucky won't move an inch. That's the type of man he is..." A dreamy look passes over your face as you imagine yourself in that situation.
A perfect eyebrow raises in question, "Honey, why don't you just tell him you like him?"
"What? No, I don't! I was speaking hypothetically!" You aren't like Natasha, you can't just walk up to Bucky and confidently tell him you like him. Just thinking about it makes you anxious.
Natasha's smile is huge as a shadow hovers over you, making you feel like your heart is beating out of your chest.
Please, please don't let someone be behind me.
"Hypothetically speaking," a deep, confident voice starts behind you, making you drop your head into your hands, "if I do my best to live up to your expectations, would you go out with me tonight?"
You slowly raise your head, seeing Natasha leave the kitchen quietly and Bucky take her spot opposite you.
Why can't I keep my big mouth shut?
You can't meet his eyes, your cheeks burning with humiliation as your eyes focus on your wiggling hands. "Uh, Bucky, how much did you hear?"
This time, Bucky's voice is softer, unsure. "Pretty much everything. I know I shouldn't have listened; I couldn't help myself. Not when I heard your hypothetical. How about it, doll? Do you want to go out with me on a date?"
"Bucky, you don't have to do that just because I embarrassed myself. You don't want to go out with me."
You slowly meet his blue eyes, a smirk plastered on his handsome face. "Of course, I want to, doll. I honestly just never thought you would want to go out with me. You're so sweet and beautiful. I just never thought someone like you would be interested in me. Not with all my baggage." His gaze becomes nervous at your hesitation. "If you give me a chance, I promise I'll do my best not to disappoint you."
Can he be any sweeter? "You could never disappoint me, Bucky. You're amazing."
His face lights up at your honest reply. "So, how about it, doll? Let me take you out on a date. If you play your cards right, I'll let you test your theory on my arm tonight. I promise I won't move an inch if I get to hold you all night long. I won't even cop a feel tonight; I'll be a perfect gentleman, I promise."
You can't stop from giggling, feeling mischievous. You weren't making stupid promises like that, something he might figure out soon if all goes well. "It's a deal, Sarge," you reply as you grasp his hands, shivering from the hot and cold sensation.
This is going to be fun.
Tag List:
@cjand10
@buggy14
@crazyunsexycool
@tripleoyaa
@mandijo17
@fluffysucker
@moviegurl2002
@shelbygeek
#bucky x y/n#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky barns x reader#bucky fluff#the avengers#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#natasha romanoff#avengers tower#james barnes#bucky x reader#bucky imagine
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Constant Companions Closeup #5: CADMIUM COLORS
youtube
(also on bandcamp and spotify!)
Once again, welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Last time, I wrote a whole diatribe about my OCs while talking about I Wish That I Could Fall, and today, we're eating paint! Cadmium Colors featuring Soneji of Project Mikan!
Consider this a content warning: this post will discuss the pandemic, struggles with mental health, and suicidal ideation/attempts. I'm hoping it'll ultimately be uplifting, but the discussions at hand are incredibly heavy, and it wouldn't do this song right to be vague. Please be warned.
---
Let's talk about COVID.
At the beginning of 2020, I was in the midst of a long-term break from making music. It wasn't completely cold turkey, and I might not have even called it a break if you'd asked me at the time, but things were dire. I was still dealing with the burnout I'd sustained from the making of Autumn Every Day; I'd had my ego bruised by a live performance at a house party that went so hilariously bad it'd hurt even the most stoic performers (imagine watching an entire packed room of people clear out in 5 minutes flat from the already hyper-exposed vantage point of being on stage in front of them and knowing you single-handedly caused that lol); I had just moved across the country, and was preoccupied with trying to make ends meet as a 22 year old dealing with pure adulthood for the first time.
I was working a shitty minimum wage job at a discount clothing store I will not be naming, slogging through late-night shifts that wouldn't get me home until 3 am some nights. I had friends and roommates, but they were all just as overworked and exhausted and dealing with their own shit as me. I was mentally ill and unmedicated. Suicidal ideation was rearing its ugly head at my lowest moments.
Then, as I turned 23, a global pandemic shut the world down, my grandpa died with me being unable to attend his funeral, and I had a catastrophic mental breakdown that suddenly turned the voices in my head into a deafening cacophony of self-inflicted malice.
In hindsight, I think being 23 kinda just does that to you
---
Fast forward to 2021. I was back at my retail job with the pandemic raging in full force, my sense of self was held together with duct tape, positive self-talk essentially didn't exist for me, and I was the loneliest and lowest I had ever been. I was working the fewest hours I could get away with, and still, almost all spare time I had was taken up either by work or by my recovery from it.
This was around the time I got an email from Crypton, of all places - the people that make Hatsune Miku, for anyone uninformed. They wanted a remix of the song Happy Synthesizer for a Digital Stars compilation. I could not for the life of me tell you how I lucked into this or why they reached out to me of all people, but they did, and I was deathly determined to prove myself worthy of it.
This was August of 2021. I was staring down the barrel, languishing in what felt like only half of a life, fantasizing about death and trying to twist my thoughts into something that could at least keep me blearily shuffling forward another couple days. It was untenable.
(I'd also recently been diagnosed with OSDD 1b - this is a whole can of worms I can't really open until we talk about Breeze Blows, but it's important to at least mention that coping with this was a significant part of this turnaround.)
It's melodramatic, but I had only two options - make things again, or die.
I finished that remix within 24 hours of getting the stems, and I will gladly toot my own horn about it - it's really fucking good, in my opinion. Bittersweet ended up coming together in a mad dash over the next couple months as well. I was making music again.
Even though I was exponentially busier, things paradoxically got easier. I made the creative process a priority in my life, and not only did it give me an outlet for everything that had otherwise been eating away at my soul, but it struck a chord with other people who had been struggling as well. Things just... started getting brighter.
So I kept making music and living and yadda yadda blah blah here I am. This is all a lot of words and very personal stories of mental health struggles to say this:
One: The line between being an artist and being one of countless people forced to work jobs that go nowhere, that put their life at risk, that force them to strip parts of themselves away - it is a faint and transparent line built on circumstances of class and privilege and luck. Making Art and being an Artist aren't magical elevated states of existence, but something anyone is capable of if given the space to nurture their creativity. I believe the world should be a place where any person can do this.
Two: It's easy to convince yourself that art is meaningless in the face of the world at large. And yes, revolutions aren't fought by poetry and paintings, and people aren't fed through songs. But art is a source and a medium for connection; Art is how we find beauty in a disorganized and entropic world; Art is what we come home to and what words we write and pictures we paint and songs we sing to remind us that people matter to us and love is real and life is worth fucking living. Maybe that's corny and stupid, but it's true.
Three: So help me God, I will never work retail again in my entire life.
---
This is another song that is heavily inspired by artists like Prefab Sprout, Peter Gabriel, Kate Bush, and other artists of that ilk - very 80s, very flowery and sentimental lyricism, focused on telling a story. I greatly admire songs that aren't afraid to paint otherwise banal or ordinary scenes in abstract reverence!! I wanted the verses to contrast heavily with each other in that way, with verse one's relentless poeticisms (prosaic practice of depravity) and idioms turned on their head (suspending innocents above their disbelief) against verse two's incredibly straightforward depiction of a factory worker's circumstances.
The flowery language might have worked against me somewhat, though! I've seen a lot of folks that thought the ending was darker or much more defeatist than I intended, and while some of that is just inevitable with a work of art, I want to be clear.
Translator's note: this means "don't kill yourself, you idiot"!!
As you may have picked up from the previous post in this series, this song does heavily feature a leitmotif or two predominantly performed under pudgy pretenses. I'm not going to go on that whole novella-length spiel again, but rest assured knowing that this song, too, is one that makes me think about my OCs. Since it's something many people missed, however, I will take a moment to point out that this song quotes none other than Autumn Every Day off of my album of the same name!
Painting and visual art have been something of a reoccurring obsession of mine in my own art. I grew up around visual artists, have always been friends with many visual artists, and generally have a really intense love of it as a medium and a mode of expression. However, there's also always been a sense of... well, I don't want to call it jealousy, but it's jealousy. I've tried many times to start making visual art of my own, and I have made some things, but it's been a struggle, and I worry sometimes that my eye has permanently outstripped my ability.
However, in my quest to toss out grand expectations and simply have fun making art, I did recently pick up a cheap little drawing tablet! I'm excited to be a beginner at something artistic again...
Finally, I want to thank a couple people: Soneji of Project Mikan for the gorgeous, soaring saxophone solo; friend_xp for the mindboggling MV editing; and especially my good friend Que for the GORGEOUS painterly art that goes along with this song! Que's style was just perfect for this, and really tied the whole thing together immaculately!! There's no joke or deeper lore or anything I just fucking love Que's art go follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And with that, I think this post is complete!! If you have anything else you wanna know about, ask away in the replies! Tomorrow will be Breeze Blows with Marcy Nabors and Marlow Jacobs!!!
MAKE ART AND BE GAY
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A Fight For Darkness: Chapter Two
-gif not mine. credit to owners-
Pairings: Eric Draven(Bill Skarsgard) x Female!Reader.
Content Warnings: language, violence, mentions of murder, mentions of taking own life, black mail, blood, smoking, drinking, mentions of drug use, arranged marriage, 18+ smut that I will mention at the beginning of the chapter.
Summary: An unknown text and a list full of questions for what happened to your sister leads you down to the underground fight ring that belongs to none other than Eric Draven, The Crow. Once he captures your eyes with his, the web you were desperate to untangle suddenly tightens.
Authors Note: This is not cannon to The Crow(2024). Shelly nor her and Eric's love story exist in this series. Eric does have his fast ability to heal thought. Tags are open for this series as well!
A Fight For Darkness Masterlist
“I’m only going to ask one more time, Y/N. How the hell did you get into the club tonight?”
Eric’s voice fell on my deaf ears as I continued to stare straight ahead at the peeling paint on the wall, almost in a near catatonic state. My body couldn’t move no matter how hard I tried; not even my toes that were still covered in blood since I kicked them off before my run from those two men.
I blinked before gazing up towards Eric, who was leaning against the door of the room with his arms crossed over his bare chest. Even in my current state, I looked over the variety of weird tattoos that covered his skin and could feel something inside of me twinge with disgust.
No, not disgust. Something new for me.
Arousal?
Typically I wasn't attracted to those kinds of men, my type more on the preppier side. The ones that wore polos and spent their Sunday afternoons at the golf course.
So why was I currently staring at the hard v-line of his hips, practically drooling over this man? This stranger?
It’s the shock, I told myself. It had to be the shock of the last ten minutes. I’m not thinking clearly.
I racked my brain trying to think of an excuse, not wanting to give him the real reason why I was here tonight all the while trying to prove my innocence that I had nothing to do with the two dead bodies in that room.
One with a slit throat and the other with a bullet hole in their head.
Blinking away those images, I ran a dry tongue over my lips and let out a staggering breath.
“I was looking for someone,” I did my best to ignore how shaky my voice sounded.
Eric raised a brow. “Who?”
“No one of importance,” my eyes flicked down at my hands, stained with blood.
I began scratching away at it, opening to rid myself of what I saw.
“How’d you get in tonight?” Eric continued to lean against the door. “I haven’t set out any new invitations in months and this is the first time I’ve seen you here.”
“Wait,” I looked up at him. “This is your place?”
“Don’t change the subject. How did you get an invite?” Eric asked again through thin slits of his eyes.
“Uh,” I began rubbing my palms on my bare thighs, hoping maybe that action would wipe away the dry blood. “Someone sent it to me.”
It wasn’t a complete lie.
I was still telling the truth while not divulging too much into my true motives for showing up tonight. That should keep Eric happy enough to let me go.
“Who?” His deep voice questioned.
Shit.
“I don’t know,” I sighed, still rubbing my palms on my thighs.
Up and down.
Up.
Down.
Just as Eric was about to ask yet another question, there was a rapid knocking on the door.
“Not now!” He called back.
“Boss! You need to come see this!” A worried voice said.
Eric grumbled a spew of curses under his breath before taking three wide strides over towards me, yanking my body off of the couch. His grip on my elbow was fierce, his fingers digging into my skin.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, my heart nearly bursting out of my chest in fear so I dug my feet into the ground. “Let me go!”
“I don’t know who you are or why you were here in the first place. Do you really think I’d let you walk around my club unsupervised?” Eric whirled his head towards me with dark eyes. “For all I know, you could have killed those two people.”
“I didn’t!” I said, shaking my head violently with wide eyes. “I promise! I just walked into the room by accident. I was trying to find the way out!”
Eric cocked his head to the side with an assessing gaze. It lingered over my face for longer than I deemed necessary yet when his eyes watched the way my throat bobbed, something fluttered deep within my gut.
“Was that before or after you killed someone?”
Before I could protest again, someone pounded on the door causing Eric to continue dragging me out of the room. It was so fast, I hadn't had time to see if the man that was leading us through the now empty fight club was the same man I’d run into before; the one that was chasing me.
People were working on cleaning up the fight cage, scrubbing out the blood from the mat, while others were sweeping up the trash that littered the floor. It felt sticky under my bare feet and internally I cringed at how gross this entire place was.
Surely there was no way my sister would be involved in some place like this.
The second we stepped, well more like Eric dragged me through the threshold of the room, I took in sight of the two dead bodies now in better light. My stomach dropped out of my ass and bile rising in my throat.
It was so much worse than I thought.
The woman who had her throat slit also had bruises covering her body while the man on the floor not only had the bullet hole in his head but all of his fingertips were cut off.
“Oh god,” I ripped myself from Eric's grasp to hunch over on my knees, emptying my stomach all over the floor.
Eric made a noise that sounded a mix between disgust and annoyance as he watched me continue to lose my stomach contents. Eventually when all I could throw up was air, he let out a sigh.
“I’m going to guess that you didn’t kill these two.”
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand before slowly rising back to full height. “What gave it away?”
Something like a smile pulled at his lips but he refused to let it show and instead, motioned towards the two bodies behind me.
“Do you know them?”
Refusing to look, I shook my head. “No. I’ve never seen them before. I stumbled in here when I was looking for the way out.”
“Did anyone see you in here?” Eric asked.
My lips parted but I hesitated, not knowing if it was a good idea to let him know.
“Don’t bother lying. When you barged into my office it looked like you were running from something,” he noted.
Letting out a shaky breath, I nodded. “Two guys but I didn’t get a good look at their faces because of how dark it was in here. The only light that was one was the one above the bed.”
Now, there was a brighter light on, illuminating the entire space.
Eric scratched at his bare chest, staring at me for a long moment, and I felt myself becoming small underneath his intense gaze. But it wasn’t only that. I found myself feeling that unknown feeling again, like earlier. Something fluttered low in my gut, a warmth spreading through my veins, and I shifted on my bare feet when they stuck to the nasty floor.
He must have noticed how not only gross I looked but the mess surrounding us as well because he turned to one of the guys in the room with us; one of his guards.
“Did we get an I.D on these two?”
The shorter one nodded towards the girl. “Some hooker.”
I sliced my eyes into him. “That’s not nice.”
“If you expect me to care about some drugged up hooker, you’re fucking crazy,” the guard took a step towards me.
Eric was quick to step in his path, blocking him from me. “Watch it, Greg.”
The guard, Greg, clenched his jaw. “You don’t know who this broad is, Eric. She shows up in your office covered in blood. For all we know, she could have killed these two.”
“Did you not see me throw up all over the place?” I pointed to the ground.
“That doesn’t mean-.”
Greg began but Eric held up a hand to silence him, the muscles in his back tensing.
“Who is the guy?” He asked, changing the subject.
“That’s where shit gets interesting,” Greg ran a hand over his jaw. “Alexi Sokolov.”
Eric somehow even went more tense in the shoulders as his head snapped over towards me. “You’ve never seen these two before?”
“I already told you, no,” I shook my head with narrowed eyes. “Should I?”
“Alexi is, well was the leader of the Russian mob here in the city. He frequented my fight club a few times,” Eric ran a hand through his short hair. “And that doesnt help narrow down the list on who killed these two.”
My blood ran cold and skin clammy as I thought back to the two men I ran from. Could I have stumbled into something more than just a simple murder while looking for my sister? Could the Russians be involved in my sister's disappearance?
The task of finding my sister was becoming more daunting and I suddenly questioned if I could do it on my own.
“I need to get out of here,” I muttered more so to myself.
I made it all of two steps before Eric’s large frame blocked the doorway.
“You’re not leaving until I know for a fact you’re not linked to these two,” he crossed his arms over his chest.
Scolding myself for letting my gaze linger on his thick arms, I narrowed my eyes up at him.
“I already told you. I don’t know them,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Until my guys finish running a background check on you, you’re not going anywhere. Especially like that,” Eric nodded towards the dried blood covering me.
“Did you say you’re running a background check on me?” I nearly yelled.
He shrugged. “I don’t know you and you still won’t tell me how you got in tonight. So you could save us all the trouble and just tell the truth.”
“Are you going to let me go if I do?”
Even though my head was held high and eyes were narrowed at him, my voice shook with undeniable fear.
Eric’s eyes raked over my body, a smug smile on his face. “Depends on what you tell me.”
Gnawing on my bottom lip, I glanced around the room at Eric’s guards who were busy cleaning up; dragging the bodies away and scrubbing the floor with bleach. The severity of what exactly happened tonight was beginning to bury itself deep inside of my bones, the fear making me sick to my stomach again. I could feel the bile rising in my throat again so I swallowed a few times in an effort to keep it down.
“I don’t know you,” I finally spoke while looking back at Eric. “How do I know you won’t kill me?”
“If I wanted to, you would have been dropped dead on the floor the second you stepped foot into my office,” Eric answered without an ounce of remorse.
I blinked, mouth agape. “You-you kill people?”
Eric stood unmoving in front of me, a thick wall of muscles, and his silence was the answer to my question. My palms began to sweat and I took a step away from him, all the blood draining from my veins.
“I’m leaving,” my voice was meek.
“No you’re not. Not until you tell me what you were doing in my club,” Eric grunted.
Not even giving me more than a few seconds, his grip was tight around my elbow as he all but dragged me out of the room and towards his office.
“Let me go!” I yelled while digging my heels into the ground.
“And have you run off? I don’t think so,” Eric snorted.
As we neared his office, he was about to toss me inside when someone else appeared in the doorway making Eric curse and putting me behind him. Due to his height, I couldn’t see over his shoulder so I peered around his shoulder to see a leggy blonde leaning against the doorframe, dark red lips pulled up in a smile.
“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you for our celebratory fuck because of your win tonight!”
I internally frowned at the feeling that festered low in my gut. It was unfamiliar but began to burn when she took a step towards Eric, which in turn made him take one away, bringing me along with him.
“How’d you get in, Lindsey? I have you blacklisted ” He said, voice clipped.
The blonde rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you blacklisted me over a misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding?” Eric’s shoulders tensed. “I caught you snooping through my computer and you proceeded to lie to me when I confronted you about it.”
“You think you saw me,” Lindsey held up a finger.
“I have you on video surveillance,” he replied bluntly.
That seemed to shut her up as Lindsey crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I wanted to see you. So what do you say when we head back to my place?”
Eric’s grip had loosened around my elbow while he was talking so I took it as my opportunity to quietly slip away, doing my best to ignore the stupid and annoying feeling stabbing my gut.
Why the hell was I jealous? I had no right to be. I didn’t know her or Eric.
I only made it a few steps before Eric’s hand shot out to grab at the nape of my neck, yanking me back to him.
“Nice try,” he breathed against the shell of my ear.
“You seem busy,” I said, ignoring the way my body ignited with a blaze from his grip on the back of my neck. “I don’t want to get in the way of your booty call.”
Something flickered in his dark eyes. “Are you jealous? Want me to bend you over and fuck your tight cunt instead?”
I swallowed thickly when my core ached at his vulgar words. Never in my life had a man talked to me this way before. So why was I so turned on by it?
“You’re disgusting,” I tried to fight against him which only made him tighten his grip on the back of my neck, yanking me towards his chest.
I glanced up at him with my best pissed off expression as nipples brushed over his bare chest through the thin material of my dress. I bit the inside of my cheek at how good it felt, not wanting to let the moan slip from my clenched lips.
“You didn’t say no,” he said with a smirk.
“Did you want to?” I blurted.
What the fuck? Why did I ask him that? I didn’t care to know if he wanted to fuck me or not.
Eric’s eyes flicked up and down over my body again. “Tempting. I must say, the dried blood on your skin is making my cock hard.”
“Can I please go home? I just want to leave,” I begged quietly, changing the subject away from the images of him bending over.
Truth be told, I was exhausted. I had no idea what time it was and wanted nothing more than to crawl into my bed in hopes of forgetting everything that happened. Also, the earlier revelation that Eric may have killed people made me want to run far away, never looking back.
“Stop fucking asking that,” he muttered under his breath while dragging me back towards his office where Lindsey continued to lean against the doorway; her eyes flaring when she noticed me.
“Who’s this?”
“Get the fuck out of here, Lindsey,” Eric demanded and wrenched her out of the way.
Her protests were hushed by him slamming the door in her face before he swung on his heels, pointing a finger at his couch.
“Sit.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled.
Something flickered in Eric’s eyes as his upper lip twitched but instead of saying anything, he forced me to sit on the couch ignoring my protests.
Like previously, I sat on the couch while he sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of me. His thighs were spread wide on either side of my closed legs, almost as if he was blocking me in. Eric was still shirtless and I forced myself to keep my eyes on his, not wanting to get caught taking in the sight of his abs.
He doesn't have a six pack. That man has an eight pack.
Scolding my inner thoughts, I played with the ends of my dirty dress.
“So,” Eric’s deep voice broke through the quiet. “How did you get an invite to my fight club?”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, contemplating whether or not to lie to him but knew that in the end, the only way I was getting out of here was giving Eric what he wanted.
Not everything.
“Uh,” I cleared my throat while sitting up straighter. “Some unknown number texted me with the address and a picture of a bloody crow.”
Eric hummed. “The Bloody Crow invite. Only specific people on the list get that invite.”
“Do you think you could figure out who sent it?” I asked.
“The list is over two hundred people long.”
Not knowing what to say, I nodded. I’d been curious as to who sent me the text earlier today. There were only two people who knew about my search for my sister and that was my dad who was dead; he killed himself shortly after my sister went missing so unless he was contacting me from beyond the grave, it wasn't him. The other was the detective assigned to my sister's case and something told me he wouldn’t be sending me somewhere where I could find out more info about the case than him.
“Why did you come here tonight?” Eric asked.
I hesitated for a beat, not knowing if I could trust him with my search. But maybe if I gave him a little bit of information, he could point me in the right direction.
“My sister,” I said.
“I don’t have any female fighters.”
I shook my head with a sigh. “No, she’s missing. Has been for the last six months and I’ve been looking for answers.”
Eric’s left brow rose. “Isn’t that a job for the police?”
I snorted. “The police haven’t done shit. They gave up after a month. Everytime I try to get updates, I’m directed to voicemail after voicemail of cops who could care less. So it’s up to me to find out where she is.”
“What makes you think she’s still alive?”
My heart sank at Eric’s words. I knew there was always the possibility that my sister would be dead, especially with how long she’s been missing, but I refused to think that. I would find her and when I did, she would be alive.
“I don’t,” I answered honestly. “But I’m not going to stop looking for her.”
“You think she came here?” Eric asked.
I let out a long sigh before easing back into the couch. “I doubt it. Illegal underground fighting rings wasn’t something she was into.”
“Who said I run an illegal establishment?” He asked with a mock hurt tone but then his face turned serious. “Do you have a picture of her? Maybe I can recognize her.”
My knee brushed up against his, a surge of static flowing through me, but I ignored it.
“How can I trust you? You could lie to me just to throw me off course,” I said with furrowed brows. “I don’t even know you.”
Eric scratched at the tattoos on his chest and shrugged. “That’s right, you don’t. And I don’t know you. But you stumbled into my fightclub. Someone sent you an invite for a reason. Which means one of two things. Either it wasn’t meant for you or I have a mole inside my club.”
“The text said I could find answers for my missing sister here so I think it was meant for me.”
“Well, then it looks like I have a mole,” Eric’s jaw clenched, a vein on the side of his forehead prominent with a deep shade of purple.
I motioned to my purse that was still on the table next to Eric. “I have a picture of her in my wallet.”
Once he rifled through my purse to find the picture, he stared at it for a long moment before shaking his head.
“I’ve never seen her before.”
“I’m starting to think this was a dead end. Whoever sent me that text did it to throw me off,” I said.
Silence fell between us, our deep breathing echoing in the room, and I took in the sight of Eric’s office. It wasn’t big by any means, just a desk with a chair, a couch, and a punching bag in the corner. There was a closed door behind the desk to which I assumed was a closet.
A rough knock sounded on the main door to his office and Eric called over his shoulder. “Come in!”
One of his guards peered his head inside, hesitating when he saw me sitting on the couch. Eric noticed but instead of kicking me out, he nodded towards the guard urging him on.
“Uh, boss. We reviewed the tapes and we got something.”
“What did you find?” Eric asked while rising to his feet.
I didn’t bother to move, only slink further deep into the couch.
“Ms. Y/L/N was telling the truth. She came alone and as soon as she saw you fighting in the cage, she tried to leave but ended up in the room with the two bodies. She was in there less than two minutes, not enough time to kill them.”
“Told you,” I grumbled under my breath while crossing my arms over my chest.
Eric glanced down at me. “Did I disgust you that much during my fight?”
No, not you.
“I don’t like violence,” I stated with a shrug.
He hummed before looking back at his guard. “What else did you find out?”
“Whoever the two guys that caught here weren’t that slick. While they were chasing her, they ran into direct sight of the cameras. We got a good look at their faces.”
“And?”
The guard shifted on his feet before running a hand over his face. “It’s bad.”
“Worse than the head of the Russian mob being murdered in my club?” Eric retorted back.
“Worse like they are Roeg’s men.”
A slew of curses fell from Eric’s mouth as he rested his hands low on his hips, the black gym shorts he still wore from his fight hanging even lower. He began pacing the length of his office and I watched with slight fear in my eyes, heart beating rapidly.
“Who’s Roeg?” I dared ask.
Eric ignored me, turning back to his guard. “How sure are we that they got a good look at, Y/N?”
“They didn’t get a good look at me,” I said. “The room was dark.”
“Are you positive?” He directed towards me.
My lips parted to speak but quickly I snapped them shut when I realized I wasn’t entirely sure if those two men actually saw me or not.
Running a hand through his hair, Eric went over towards the other door in his office and opened it, pulling out a hoodie and a pair of sweats; him obviously keeping extra clothes in there. He tossed them to me with a pointed finger.
“Get dressed. Leave your bloody clothes here so we can burn them.”
“Why?” My voice shook as I held the clothes to my chest. “What are you going to do?”
“Are we clear?” Eric asked his guard.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “We did a full sweep of the building and the grounds outside. Roeg’s men are nowhere in sight. Jackson is reviewing the tapes from the backdoor to see how they got in.”
“Send me the footage as soon as you get it,” Eric said and then grabbed a shirt from the closet, throwing it on. “Didn’t I tell you to get dressed?”
I slowly stood from the couch, still holding the hoodie and sweats close to my chest. “Why? What’s going on?”
“You’re leaving. Go home and never come back here.”
Eric’s words should have elated me, finally being able to go home, yet I continued to stand in front of him unmoving. Something in those bright eyes gave way that he was keeping secrets.
Instead of arguing, I let out a long sigh and nodded. “Trust me, you’ll never see me here again.”
“Good. You can get dressed in here and one of my guards will walk you to your car.”
He walked towards the open door of his office, muttering something to the guard, but my voice called after him.
“What am I supposed to do if one of those guys shows up again?”
Eric paused for a moment, contemplating something in his mind, before stalking back over to his desk and ripped open a drawer.
“If something happens, call me,” he handed me a card with his number on it but held it back before I could grab it. “This doesn’t mean you can text me asking me what I’m doing or what my favorite color is.”
Narrowing my eyes, I snatched the card from his hand. “Trust me, Eric. You’re not even my type.”
Liar.
Ignoring the voice in my head yet again, I held his gaze for a solid three breaths before he let out an amused noise and turned swiftly on his heels, hating right in the doorway.
“A piece of advice?” Eric called over his shoulder. “Stop looking into your sister's disappearance. You’re going to get yourself killed.”
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Azerbajian GP Weekend Part 2
Masterlist
The engine hummed beneath me, a steady rhythm that barely masked the tension coiling in my chest. Halfway through the Azerbaijan Grand Prix, I was still holding P10. A solid position, but I couldn’t help the restless fire burning in my veins. The car felt good—responsive, nimble—but it wasn’t enough. Not for me. Not when I had to prove so much more than the others ever expected.
Santino’s words echoed in my mind like an unbearable buzz. I’d barely had a chance to catch my breath from the barrage of rumors swirling around me when his latest attempt to undermine me dropped like a bomb. Santino Ferrucci, a man who had never seen the value in anyone else unless it served him, was now playing his cards to feed the gossip machine. The same ex-teammate who’d made it clear from the moment I stepped into the F2 paddock that he wanted nothing to do with me. The same guy who didn’t even give me the chance to prove myself before deciding I was nothing more than a distraction. Now, somehow, he had the media eating out of his hand, painting me as some kind of problem child, someone who didn’t belong.
I gripped the steering wheel, teeth clenched, my eyes narrowing as I weaved through the unforgiving turns of the Baku City Circuit. The whispers—those rumors—were becoming louder and louder in the background of my mind. The media. The drivers. My ex-teammate. They all thought they could write my story for me, that they could decide my worth before I ever had a chance to prove myself.
But they were wrong.
I could feel the heat rising in me. The pressure to be perfect. To show them all that I was more than just a headline. That I was more than Santino’s petty attempts to tear me down. He didn’t know half of it. Didn’t understand how hard I’d worked, how much I’d sacrificed, or what I had to overcome just to be here. Every inch of my success had been earned, fought for—not given. And I wasn’t about to let a jealous ex-teammate or a handful of shallow opinions take that away from me.
As I entered the DRS zone, I could see the cars ahead of me, their tail lights glowing like targets. I knew I had to stay focused. Keep my head clear. If I was going to finish this race the way I wanted—no, the way I needed to—I couldn’t let their words break me.
With a snap of my fingers on the steering wheel, I activated the DRS. The rush of speed surged through me, and I pulled in on the cars ahead, inching closer to the top six. I didn’t have to look back to know that the battle for the points was heating up behind me, but I could feel the fire inside me intensifying with each lap, fueled by the hatred Santino had tried to spread.
They thought I’d fall. They thought the rumors would hold me back. They thought I couldn’t handle it.
But I was going to prove them wrong.
I floored the throttle, my mind locked in on the finish line. With every corner, every straight, I could feel the anger, the frustration, and the hunger building inside me. I wasn’t just racing against these drivers—I was racing against the world that had already counted me out. By the time I crossed the finish line, they wouldn’t just remember my name. They’d remember how hard I fought to earn my place.
P6.
It wasn’t just a position on the board. It was my victory. My revenge against the whispers, the lies, and the people who underestimated me.
And as the checkered flag waved in the distance, I knew one thing for sure: I would never, ever let anyone define me again.
The celebrations following the end of the race were a blur of cheers, high-fives, and the kind of joy that made all the hard work worth it. A smile finally returned to my face as it sunk in—I had done it. P6. I had crossed that finish line ahead of so many doubters, my heart racing with a mixture of exhaustion and triumph.
It felt surreal. After all the rumors, all the noise, all the moments of doubt—I had pushed through. And not only had I made it to the top ten, but I had also outperformed my own teammate, who had finished just behind me in P7. The pride I felt wasn’t just for the result, but for what it represented. I wasn’t just a placeholder. I wasn’t just surviving in this paddock. I was racing. I was competing. I was proving that I belonged here, every bit as much as anyone else.
Franco caught my eye across the paddock, grinning from ear to ear as he raised his fist in my direction. We’d both pushed so hard, and now, we had something to celebrate. It felt good to finally have something that belonged to me—something I had earned, without anyone’s help or approval.
I glanced over at the screen showing the final race standings, and there it was: P6. The numbers didn’t lie, and neither did my efforts. This race wasn’t just a win on the board—it was a win for everything I had fought against, everything I had pushed through. I had done more than prove myself to my team; I had proven something to myself. And that was worth celebrating.
Yet, when I finally reached the end of media pen, my smile quickly faded. I had barely stepped into the area when I saw who was waiting for me. Of course, it was him—the same interviewer who had tried to tear me down from the very beginning. The one who had asked all the probing, personal questions, pushing me to crack in front of the cameras. It wasn’t just that he had a way of twisting words; it was that he seemed to take pleasure in it.
I could see his smug expression as he adjusted his microphone, ready to ask the same pointed questions he always did. He had even been the one to interview my ex-teammate, Santino Ferrucci—the guy who had never once given me a chance to prove myself in F2, and whose lies about me had been used to fuel the worst rumors that followed me.
The thought of it was enough to make my blood simmer. I had worked my ass off to make it here, to get to this moment, and yet here I was again—staring down someone who was more interested in sensationalism than the hard work behind it all. It felt like a constant uphill battle, one I was tired of fighting, but I knew I couldn’t back down. Not now. Not when I had just shown the world what I was capable of.
I squared my shoulders, trying to push down the frustration rising in my chest. This wasn’t the time to show weakness, not with all that I had fought for hanging in the balance.
I took a deep breath, trying to maintain my composure as the interviewer’s voice broke through the hum of the paddock.
“So, y/n,” he began, his tone already carrying the sharp edge I knew all too well, “there's still a lot of talk about your time away from racing. Many people are wondering why you left F2 so abruptly. Some say it was just a matter of timing, that you were simply ‘training’ for F1... but others think there’s more to the story.”
I could feel my jaw tighten as he carefully crafted his words. He wasn’t just asking for information—he was fishing, poking at a wound I wasn’t ready to reopen. I could hear the whispers in his voice, the way he implied I was hiding something.
I clenched my fists, but kept my face neutral. “I've already said this before,” I replied, my voice steady despite the rising anger bubbling beneath the surface. “I left to train. I needed to focus on becoming the best version of myself, and I made the choice to step away so I could be ready for the challenges ahead. And honestly, that’s all there is to it.”
His eyes narrowed, not buying it for a second. He pressed on, undeterred. “Right, right. But... you didn’t mention much about what happened during that time. Rumors have been circulating—specifically about your sudden departure and your reasons for being away. You see, many believe you had personal matters going on, things that weren’t exactly... racing-related. Some have even suggested your absence was tied to... other things.” He let the last part hang in the air like a threat.
I could feel the heat rising in my chest, my fists tightening into balls of anger. I could already tell where this was going, and I wasn’t going to let him drag it out. He wasn’t going to paint me as some secretive, unprofessional driver just because of his own assumptions and the garbage people like Santino had been spreading.
I stared him down, my voice cutting through the tense air. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, my tone unwavering. “You can ask all the questions you want, but the truth is, you’re just speculating. And frankly, I’m tired of answering questions based on rumors. So if you’re looking for some juicy story about me, you’re not going to find it here. I’ve moved on, and so should you.”
The interviewer wasn’t backing down. He smirked, pushing further, almost daring me to break. “You know, some of these rumors have real consequences. People in the paddock have talked about you being too emotional, not cut out for this level of competition. And others... well, they wonder why you’ve clung so tightly to that turtle necklace. Surely that’s a little... odd, don’t you think?”
The words hit me like a slap in the face. He was baiting me, trying to get me to say something that would let him twist it into another story. But this time, I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. The anger that had been simmering in my gut finally boiled over.
I leaned forward, my eyes narrowing as I locked onto his smug expression. “You want to know why I wear this necklace?” I said, my voice low and dangerous. “You want to know what it means?” I didn’t wait for him to answer. “It’s because of my mother. She passed away while I was away. I had to leave everything behind because she was dying. And now she’s gone. So if you want to keep throwing insults and rumors at me, go ahead. But you don’t know what it’s like to lose someone like that. You don’t know what I went through.”
The words hung in the air like a punch to the gut. The interviewer fell silent, his expression faltering as my words sank in. The entire paddock seemed to freeze, the tension hanging thick. I didn’t care about the cameras, the microphones, or the rumors anymore. This was the truth. My truth.
I took a steadying breath, still seething with anger, and stood up. “And as for the turtles,” I continued, my voice still shaking with emotion, “they’re a reminder of her. Not because I think I’m slow, but because she loved them. Because they remind me of her strength. She was a fighter. And I’m going to keep fighting for her. So you can keep spinning your stories, but I’m done talking to you.”
With that, I turned on my heel and walked away, leaving the stunned silence in my wake. I could feel every pair of eyes on me, but I didn’t care. The interview had turned into something else entirely—a moment of truth I wasn’t about to take back.
I didn’t know if I had silenced the interviewer or just made everything worse, but I didn’t care. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had taken control. And if that meant walking away from this media circus, so be it. I had nothing to prove to them anymore.
I marched into my driver’s room, desperate for some space to breathe and escape from the chaos swirling around me. The weight of everything—rumors, lies, the pain of the day—settled deep in my chest, threatening to choke me. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Not now. Not here.
I paced the room, my fists clenched, trying to keep the floodgates closed. But then, just a minute or two later, I heard a knock at the door. My heart skipped a beat, and I forced myself to take a deep breath before walking over to answer it.
When I cracked the door open, I was met with the sight of Franco, flanked by Lewis and, for some reason, Charles. I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to deal with anyone right now.
Franco noticed my reluctance and offered me a softer, sad smile. It was enough to break through the anger clouding my mind.
“Please, Hermosa,” he said gently, his tone filled with concern. “Let us chat in private. Just a few minutes. Please.”
I glanced over at Lewis and Charles, who were standing behind Franco, their expressions unreadable but soft enough that I could tell they weren’t here to make things harder for me. With a sigh, I pushed the door open a little wider, stepping aside to let them in.
The moment they entered, the tension in the room seemed to lighten slightly, but it didn’t take away the knot that had formed in my stomach. I wanted nothing more than to curl up and be left alone, but I knew they were here to help—whether I liked it or not.
Charles’s voice cut through the silence in the room, surprising me. He wasn’t usually the first to speak up, but the sincerity in his words caught me off guard.
“First, I want to apologize,” he began, his expression softening. “For allowing myself to believe the rumors, even for a second. I should have known better, especially after all these years. And I’m sorry. I know I can’t fully understand what you’ve been going through, but I can relate to losing a parent before they truly got to see you succeed. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. I may not know what it’s like to hide behind rumors to protect your pain, but I know the grief of losing someone close to you.”
His words hit harder than I expected, and I could feel the weight of his empathy in his tone. Charles smiled at me, a smile that held more vulnerability than I’d ever seen from him before.
“I want to offer you my help. I want to be someone you can turn to, someone who will listen without judgment,” he continued. “It’s definitely owed to you, after everything... after ignoring you just because of some baseless rumors.”
I didn’t know how to respond at first. My heart felt heavy with the realization that someone who had once been indifferent—if not cold—toward me, was now standing here, offering support when I needed it most. I blinked, trying to gather my thoughts before I spoke, but the sincerity of his apology left me momentarily speechless.
Franco stepped forward then, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Hermosa, you don't have to say anything right now. Just know that we're here for you, whenever you're ready."
For the first time in what felt like ages, I allowed myself to relax—if only for a moment. I was still angry. I was still hurt. But, perhaps, things were starting to change.
Lewis’s voice broke the moment of silence, his tone lighter than before. “You don’t have to worry about that interviewer anymore, by the way,” he said, his words catching me off guard.
I raised an eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean?"
Lewis smirked, leaning back slightly with a look of satisfaction in his eyes. “Well, as much as I would have loved to be the one to hand his ass back to him on a silver platter, Max beat me to it.” He chuckled, clearly amused by the turn of events. “At least we found something else to agree on.”
I couldn’t help but let out a small, surprised laugh at his casual tone. It was good to hear that Max had stood up for me again. Franco’s smile widened, clearly relieved by the lighter shift in the conversation. “Good. That man deserved it,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than anyone else.
I nodded slowly, taking in what they had said. Despite the chaos of the day, it was comforting to know that not everyone believed the rumors or enjoyed feeding into the drama. I appreciated their support, even if it was difficult for me to fully let go of the anger still simmering inside.
"Thanks, Lewis," I said, finally finding my voice again. Lewis shrugged nonchalantly, his grin still there. "We’ve all been there at some point. It’s about time some of the nonsense gets put to bed, don’t you think?"
I nodded, feeling a small weight lift from my chest. Suddenly, Franco let out a soft laugh and, without warning, shoved his phone into my hands. "You’ve got to see this," he said, his voice full of amusement.
I looked at him, confused for a moment, before I glanced down at the phone. Franco had already queued up a video, and my eyes went wide as I saw Max’s familiar figure step into the frame right after I had stormed off.
Max stood at the media pen, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed as he stared directly at the interviewer who had just tried to tear me down. His voice cut through the air, sharper than I had ever heard it.
“If you want to keep making up lies about someone who’s just here to race, you can keep doing that,” Max started, his tone filled with frustration. “But don’t you ever come at her like that again. It’s one thing to talk trash, but you’ve crossed a line.”
The interviewer shifted uncomfortably, but Max wasn’t done. He stepped closer, his voice growing louder with each word, making sure everyone in the vicinity could hear him.
“You’ve been digging so deep, trying to unearth some dirty little secret, but all you’ve managed to do is expose yourself for what you really are—a pathetic excuse for a journalist," Max continued, his eyes burning with anger. "You think you know the full story, but you don’t know anything about what’s going on behind the scenes. You want to judge her? Let’s talk about your pathetic need to pry into people’s lives for a cheap headline."
He paused, letting the words hang in the air for a moment, giving the interviewer no room to respond.
"She's been protecting her family, dealing with a loss that most people would never understand. Her mother’s been gone for weeks now, and she’s been putting all of her energy into racing. All you’ve managed to do is twist that into something ugly. So next time you want to attack someone, maybe you should take a good look in the mirror and figure out who the real asshole is here.”
Max’s words hung in the air, silencing the crowd around him. The interviewer had no comeback, his face going pale. Max’s fierce defense had not only shut him down but had made it clear: he wasn’t going to let anyone continue to harass me without facing the consequences.
I stood there, a little in awe, feeling an unexpected warmth in my chest. Max had always been a competitor, but seeing him stand up for me like this... it was something else.
Franco let out a chuckle as I stared at the screen. "Max doesn't usually get involved in stuff like that, but... you’ve got to admit, it's nice to see him standing up for you."
I was almost speechless. Seeing Max, of all people, not just defend me but make such a statement to the media made me feel something I hadn’t expected—gratitude. I looked up at Franco, who was still grinning like a proud big brother.
“I... wow,” I muttered, still processing the video. “That’s... that’s really something.”
Franco smiled, his eyes softening as he watched me. “Told you. People are starting to see the truth.”
It was a small victory, but it felt like a step in the right direction. It was a reminder that, even in the midst of all the chaos, not everyone believed the rumors or was content to let them fly.
I exhaled slowly, trying to shake off the mix of emotions swirling inside me. "I guess maybe there's still hope for some of them, huh?"
"Absolutely," Franco said, his grin widening. "And you’ve got us. Always."
#x reader#f1 angst#driver!reader#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#max verstappen#charles leclerc#oscar piastri#lando norris#franco colapinto#lewis hamilton#carlos sainz#george russell#grill the grid#f1 grid x reader
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“Don’t cry.”
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: a spa session with your new boyfriend turns out to be both of your breaking points.
requested by anonymous! i hope you like it and that I did it justice! i kind of took it and ran. i made it much more deep than i initially planned, so i hope you like it!
warnings: talk of sexual abuse and rape, with both eddie and reader, angst and tears, language, mentions of drug dealing and absent parents. reader is struggling to connect with eddie and he doesn’t know why, kinda leaves in a cliffhanger??
Sometimes Eddie wondered if you liked him, because half the time it didn’t seem like you did. You’d become stand-offish, quiet, shrink in on yourself. His “Are you okay?” was always met with an “I’m fine.” and nothing more. It always seemed like you were protecting yourself. Not just from him, but from everyone. You loved his friends, but sometimes they scared you. You never knew who to trust. Would one of them hurt you, given the chance?
One thing was for sure though, you loved Wayne. He was like the father you never had growing up. From the way he talked, looked, his personality, it reminded you of a father. Eddie was extremely lucky to grow up with him while he did.
Eddie wasn’t stupid, however, he knew some of your behavior had to do with your upbringing. You’d shared some of it with him before, time and time again, here and there. You’d grown up pretty similarly to him. Dead beat parents that abused you, surrounded by their friends who eyed you like a piece of meat for them to chew on. When you grow up like that, you’re bound to be a little messed up. Eddie understood that. He was the same way.
But with you, it was different. He didn’t want you to feel that way around him. The relationship hadn’t been going on for that long and was still fairly fresh, but he wanted you to trust him. And even dating might have been a stretch, you were just very good friends who weren’t very good friends with anyone else.
You liked Eddie, maybe even loved him, but there was no lying when it came to the fact you were struggling to connect with him. Could you really trust him? Was he just like the men from your childhood? Would he fuck you and ultimately leave once he got his full satisfaction? You’d cried yourself to sleep many of times during the night at the thought.
Sometimes you didn’t feel safe. Not with him, not with his friends. You only ever felt truly safe with Wayne. You didn’t know why. You hated the way you felt. Eddie was a good man. He was good to you. He had yet to do anything that proved otherwise. But the dark corners of your mind lingered closer and closer to the edge, reminding you of what once was your reality on the daily. You hoped this time it was different.
“I like this color on you.” Eddie’s tongue was stuck out in concentration, one hand holding your foot, the other holding the brush of the pink nail polish bottle. “It’s cute.”
“Pink?” You smirked. “You like pink?”
“On you.” His lashes fluttered up to you briefly.
The gesture was cute, but anytime he did something sweet like this you couldn’t help but think if he was luring you into a trap. Your stomach was littered with jitters and nerves. Day by day your anxiety was staring to become more out of control. You thought about ending things with him. It wasn’t fair to him to not give the relationship your all, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You’d miss him dearly.
“Well, thanks.” You smiled softly. “I don’t like painting them by myself. The angle is too hard.”
He muttered a Mhm with his tongue out, blowing on your little toe so the pain would dry. “I used to paint my nails black when I was a teenager.” He said.
“Really?” You said amusedly. “Why’d you stop?”
“Got out of the habit, I guess.” He dipped the brush back in the bottle. “Plus, not that I cared, but kids at school were givin’ me shit about it.”
You knew Eddie had the same childhood you did, in some sense anyways. Eddie wouldn’t talk about it much, especially never about his mother. But his dad was something you knew struck a nerve. You should share your traumas together, that’s what you always told yourself. You knew you both could relate to one another, but the relationship was still too fresh. Maybe neither was ready for that.
“Want me to do your fingers?” Eddie asked, blowing on your last toe as he finished up his fine work. “I gotta say, babe, I did pretty good.”
You flexed your freshly painted toes and grinned at his work. “You did! Thank you.”
He put the bottle on the table and plopped down beside you on the couch, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “So what now? What’s next on the spa list?” He smirked and you did the same, laughing breathily.
“I won’t make you succumb to all my girly stuff.” You laughed. “Anything I can do for you? Your hair looks like it needs brushed a little.”
“What?” He gave you an incredulous look. “I keep my hair very much maintained, thank you.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t, Eddie.” You rolled your eyes. “All I said was it needed brushed a little.”
You hopped up and got your plastic hairbrush from the bathroom, pointing at him with it when you returned. “Your turn to be pampered. Sit on the floor.”
He shook his head amusedly and sat down where you had, your legs falling at the sides of his shoulders as you gently began combing out his curls. He didn’t mean to, but he sighed in content.
“Feel good?” You gave a shit eating grin.
“You’re a-lot gentler than Wayne used to be.” He relaxed under your touch. “He always pulled at my hair and got it more ratted up than it already was. This feels good.”
You smiled at the mention of Wayne. “Well, I’ve got a woman’s touch, honey.”
“Yes, you do.”
It was quiet and peaceful for a while as you brushed his hair, the both of you content in the silence. When he touched your ankle, caressing it, your heart began to pound. You hadn’t had sex with him yet. You were too scared to. You knew it was time, it had been almost two months and you knew Eddie had long since been ready to sleep with you.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You did. You fantasized about him just as much as he did you, but you were terrified of him leaving once you finally crossed that line. Out of instinct, you brought your legs up to you, sitting criss-cross like he was.
You heard him sigh and your stomach ached with guilt. You should give him what he wants.
“I’m sorry.” You say guiltily.
“You never let me touch you.” Eddie said flatly, staring at the ground as you continued to brush his hair. “And you won’t tell me why.”
Your eyes teared up and you stopped brushing, bringing it down to your lap. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s all you say.” He shook his head. “You don’t need to be sorry. You just need to tell me why I scare you so bad.”
“You don’t.” You denied, trying your hardest to convince him. When he said things like this, you felt foolish for thinking the way that you did. “It’s just- it’s- it’s just me.”
Eddie turned around, looking up at you to find you with tears in your face. “If it wasn’t true you wouldn’t be crying. Don’t I deserve the truth, Y/n? Have I don’t anything at all to make you scared of me?”
“No.” You sniffled, getting off the couch to go into the kitchen of his trailer. “You haven’t.”
Eddie watched you, becoming more and more anxious by the second. He sat there, waiting for his answer, anything but no. “Do you want to break up?”
“No!” You cried, shaking your head wildly. “No, that’s not what I want.”
“You don’t even like me, Y/n.” He scoffed to himself, closing in, becoming cold and shutting down. Something he hadn’t done in a long time. “You won’t open up to me. I can barely touch you. You look like you’re disgusted to be around me.”
“That’s not true!” You snapped, taking a step toward him. “Stop saying shit like that!”
“Then you say something for a change!” He argued back, not moving from his spot on the floor.
“But it’s so stupid!” You shook your head. “It’s ridiculous!”
He gave you a look. He was waiting and he wouldn’t back out this time. Either that, or he was going to break up with you. The thought made you want to vomit. Maybe you did care more deeply for him than you were letting on.
“We don’t talk about what happened when we were kids,” You sighed through tears, voice breaking. “We’re..both the same, but we don’t talk about it.”
Eddie’s eyes narrowed as you began, wondering after all, if he wanted to hear where you were going with this.
“Mom wasn’t around, so that left dad and his friends.” You stared at him, being as open and honest as you could now. There was no beating around the bush with this. “I…Jesus,” You shook your head, running a hand through your hair. “I didn’t know that it wasn’t normal at the time, but they’d…they’d use me.” You took a deep breath after the last word. No stopping now.
“They would play poker, touch me, rape me.” You weren’t crying anymore, talking mostly to yourself now at this point. “And I know you would never do that to me, Eddie, but sometimes I’m so afraid of it happening again and I just shut down.” You closed your eyes. “You touch me and I’m so afraid you’ll abandon me once we sleep together. That’s all anyone has ever done in my life.”
“Fuck me, then leave.” You sniffled. “That’s all they ever do.”
Eddie’s eyes were drooping, slightly narrowed and brows furrowed. He shook his head softly, you almost missed it, and you knew you’d made him at a loss for words.
He looked up to you briefly, licking his lips before he spoke. “There was this one guy my dad would deal for,” He began. “He was a big dude, almost seven foot. I was only thirteen. But dad would bring him into the house and he…would look at me. Just watch me wherever I went.” He stared at his hands, not daring to look at you.
“I think he payed dad.” His voice broke, but he refused to let any tears fall. “Because I screamed and screamed and he wouldn’t come.”
You let out an audibly gasp and covered your mask, your heart falling to the floor with a splat.
“Oh, god, Eddie,” You crawled to the floor and knelt beside him.
“It’s okay.” He stopped your apologies. “I didn’t tell you for you to be sorry for me. I told you because you need to know you’re not alone, and not everyone is out to get you. You’re safe with me. I want you to believe that.”
You let out a wet sob, tears rolling down your red face. “How do I stop being scared? I want to be with you.”
He smiled softly, a finger swiping at a tear. “We have all the time in the world for that, angel.”
You grabbed his arm and laid your head against his shoulder, sobbing like a broken child.
“Oh, baby,” He kissed your forehead. “Don’t cry.”
It would be a long road to recovery, but you could both do it together. Slowly, every day you would both open up to each other about what you went through, and day by day, it would get easier.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson angst#requests#stranger things#stranger things season four#joseph quinn#eddie munson imagines#eddie munson headcanons#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson blurb
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Hello beautiful I hope you’re doing well! If your requests for dr.stone are still on hold then please ignore this message!
if not then can I request the five wise commanders with a s/o who tries to impress them by learning the stuff they are interested in. (Examples can be like Ryusui’s s/o tried to learn about boats or Chrome’s s/o tries to learn about rocks and tells them the stuff they learned.) Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a good one!😁
Dr. Stone: Painting with Two Hands
Summary: In which the Five Wise Commanders get blown away by your knowledge in their passion.
Or you want to show them that you are someone they can rely on too.
Pairing: Five Wise Commanders (Senku, Chrome, Gen, Ryusui, and Ukyo) x GN! Reader!
Note: Thanks for the request and your patience! This turned out super fluffy and I love it! Each scenario takes place in a different time/place.
Warning: None.
★・・・・・・★
The Art of Science
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“A lab coat.” Senku looked at you incredulously, with one brow raised and his other hand shaking a glass beaker.
“Okay, how the heck did you even get that-“
“Yuzuriha.” Right.
“And why are you wearing it exactly?”
“Because I look good in it and…”
"I've been studying chemistry," You declared, revealing a notebook filled with meticulously recorded observations.
When you hand him the said notebook, you watch his skepticism turn into fascination.
“Kukuku, I’m impressed, it’s right. You wrote down the formulas for everything. Where and when did you get this?”
“See, I actually listened to all of your scientific rants. I thought they were interesting and super helpful, so I wanted to learn.”
Senku blinked, slightly surprised that you had put in the effort to take notes, listen and learn.
“I thought that we could experiment together."
For a moment, he was silent, but then his lips quirk up into a smirk, and he flicked your forehead.
“Alright, what are you waiting for? Come help me then. Show me what you learned.”
“Wait.” Senku was twirled around and handed a lab coat too.
“I got one for you too.” Dumbfounded, Senku didn’t move until you sighed and helped him put it on. Before you went to fix his collar, he came to his senses.
“I can do it myself.” He quickly turned away from you and put it on properly.
"You look good short king."
You had a smug expression on your face.
"Shut up."
You swear he has a little tint of pink on his cheeks, but you decided to not mention it.
“Come on, we got a lot of work to do.” He extended a hand, and you accepted it as if it was the norm.
“I know Einstein.”
The Art of Exploration
“Chrome! Look at what I found!”
“Be careful (Y/N)! Don’t fall down!”
Chrome ran after you as you skipped ahead and jumped into a flowing river.
“(Y/N)!” Chrome was always worried about your safety and well-being, despite the many times where you proved where you were just as strong as him.
“Don’t worry Chrome, it’s not like it’s my first time out with you! Besides, look, I found this cool-looking thing in the water!”
In your hands was an oddly shaped rock, and while the two of you inspected it, neither of you knew what it was. Until you cleaned it a bit more in the river.
A golden exterior shone through its surface.
Almost immediately, you screamed out in excitement.
“Gold! It’s the thing that Senku was looking for right?” Even Chrome was shocked at your luck, before hugging you from behind.
Even though you both were slightly dirty from running away and exploring all day, neither of you minded.
“It’s gold! Amazing! How did you find that so easily?” Chrome was genuinely curious. After all, from his perspective, he simply saw you jump into a river, bend down, and pick up a random rock.
“Um…it’s kind of embarrassing but…” Chrome cocked a head at your hesitation before you blurted out.
“I’VE BEEN LEARNING ABOUT ROCKS!” It was so loud that the world shook around you both.
"because...I want to go with you more when you explore..." Your voice became quieter and quieter, while you fidgetted with your hand.
Chrome watched your face lit up, before you quickly turn around and make a run for it.
“Wait (Y/N)! That’s so cool! Come back!”
Chrome chased you with a giant grin on his face.
He can’t wait to see what you learned, and how, when the two of you go back to his workshop.
Chrome also can’t wait to brag to everyone (especially Senku) how great you are.
The Art of Communication
“Raise.”
“I’ll play with you Genie, call.” The click of chips being pushed to the center. Gen(ie) winked at you.
Genie was nickname for your little boyfriend, why? Well, man can read minds (probably).
The cards are slowly being flipped over as spectators make their own guesses.
“All-in!” Gen pushed up his sunglasses dramatically (as if he was in an anime) and smirked as he turned to you.
“Sorry dear (Y/N), this is my game.”
You stayed silent for a moment, observing Gen from head to toe.
But Gen of course, remains calm, and confident in his hand.
“All-in.”
Gen raises his sunglasses in slight surprise at your bet.
“Dear (Y/N), are you sure?” Gen was slightly worried, after all, you tend to be more on the conservative side when it comes to gambling. He slides his hand over to you, and you put yours on top of his.
“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” You returned his look with a forced smile. Gen whistled, surprised at your sudden bold action.
“Okay, I’m going to flip the last card.” Kohaku flips and the room goes silent.
Then he saw a smirk rose to your lips, and felt your hand intertwin with his.
“You owe me babe.” You hold up his hand while his jaw dropped to the ground.
This was the first you had ever won against him in gambling.
“Finally someone gave Gen a taste of his own medicine.” Ukyo rolled his eyes before snickering.
“Wha-how did you-”
"I thought I'd learn from the best.” You winked and stole his sunglasses, making your beloved stutter even more.
“After all, the mind is the most fascinating puzzle, and yours is the most intriguing of them all." You put on his sunglasses with a smug smirk.
“Damn, that was cringe.” Senku commented, which received a nudge from Yuzuriha.
Gen eventually recovered and chuckled, bringing your hand to his lips.
“Oh dear (Y/N), are you playing mind tricks with me now?”
“Of course not dear~ I still have much to learn~”
(Senku of course, fake gagged behind the scenes, but that never stopped you and Gen from doing anything, has it?)
The Art of Navigation
Under the starlit sky, both you and Ryusui stood on the deck of the Perseus, his eyes scanning the horizon.
It was at times like these where your boyfriend was finally quiet, appreciating the tranquility, and the ambience as you two were on a date. Delicious food and wine made by Francois, while listening to the waves rock against the ship, and the laughter from others inside.
Of course, Ryusui is the one to break that silence when he notices the seas changing.
“My love, a storm is coming.” He suddenly stands up, “Francois, follow me after you clean up.”
“Yes sir.” Francois, elegant and efficient as always, quickly retreated with the food.
“Ay ay Captain.” Your little salute made his loosen up just a little, before he held your hand, and pulled you inside as if he was guiding you in a waltz.
Ambitious, confident, and charismatic, that was your love, Ryusui.
As expected, he took the helm immediately, and an excited grin rose to his face as he looked far into the distance with thunderous clouds.
“Love, can you tell them all to get ready!? We need all hands on deck!”
“On it captain!”
With a laugh, you began warning everyone through the speakers, and chaos followed as everyone scrambled to get on desk.
Surprisingly, Ryusui watched you give commands almost effortlessly and matching his pace.
“Furl the sails!”
“We’re going to change courses!”
“Make sure to hold to the ship!”
“Love, you’re perfect.” Ryusui thanks you while he spins the wheel.
“Drop the anchors!”
Then you turn around and slide beside him.
“Love, let me help you - it’s that way - where we have to go right?”
“A little bit more to the left, but love, I see you’ve been learnING-” The ship’s center of gravity suddenly shifts, causing you to lean on Ryusui as you grab onto the wheel for your deer life.
“I love it! The desire to learn is always so endearing!”
“Oh stop it~ All I did was read some maps and books!”
“Hey Captain! Can you stop flirting and steer the ship properly!?” The others yelled while panicking on deck, and with a laugh, both of you steered the ship to safety.
"One more time?" He proposed, and you agreed, much to the displeasure of your crewmates.
The Art of Archery
Sometimes, the kids are loud.
As such, Ukyo and his companion often found solace in the tranquility of the forest. Sometimes they would take long walks, talk about various topics they would not share in front of children, and enjoy the silence once in a while away from the chaos of someone known as Senku.
But one day, you asked Ukyo to learn archery.
Naturally, Ukyo was elated to teach you, after all, it was a way for you to protect yourself.
It began with Ukyo making a bow for you, then arm guard, and even received gloves from Yuzuriha. He wanted to make sure you had the best of equipment he could get, and that you were safe at all times.
The first few training sessions began with Ukyo standing behind you, guiding you with a calm, mellow voice, and helping you with aim.
But soon, you both practiced archery side by side, the twang of bowstrings harmonizing with the rustling leaves.
"Your aim is getting better," Ukyo praised, a smile gracing his lips as he applauded you.
“Thanks, it all because of your help Ukyo.” You gave him a little hug which he returned.
“I’m proud of you.”
“Can I come and hunt with you now?” For a moment he hesitated, but after seeing your adorable puppy eyes, he caved in within a heartbeat.
“Okay, but safety first ok?”
“Mhmm. I know.”
You gave him a peck on the cheek, before he returned one too.
LIttle did you know, not only were your arrows hitting the bulls-eye, they went through Ukyo’s heart too.
#manga#anime#anime and manga#dr stone#drst#senku x reader#ishigami senku#senku#dr stone senku#asagiri gen#gen asagiri#gen x reader#chrome#dr stone fluff#dr stone spoilers#dr stone fanfiction#dr stone headcanons#dr stone chrome#ryusui nanami#dr stone ryusui#ryusui x reader#ukyo saionji#dr stone ukyo#ukyo x reader#gn reader#gn y/n#senku ishigami
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the river splits but still runs home (Stan & Ford)

twins. like light split in two, a star cracked open in the womb and made two hands of the same body, reaching for each other before they even knew what hands were
it starts like this
a house where the salt spray eats the paint off the walls. their mother, Caryn, is standing in the kitchen, wrists deep in soapy water, humming some song neither of them know the words to. the windows are open and the ocean breathes in, breathes out, just like she taught them
Ford is at the table with his glasses slipping down his nose, chewing on the end of a pencil, something half-sketched in the margins of his notebook. Stan is on the floor, legs kicked out behind him, tongue stuck between his teeth as he wrestles a knotted fishing line into submission.
“you're gonna snap it,” Ford says without looking up.
“no, i'm not.”
“you're holding it wrong.”
“you're holding your face wrong!”
Caryn sighs, scrubbing a plate with the practiced hands of someone who has done this a thousand times before and will do it a thousand times more. “boys.” she says
Stan gives the line a particularly aggressive tug and. . . snap.
Ford looks up. Stan looks down.
Caryn turns, raising her eyebrows.
“. . . Ford did it” Stan says immediately.
Ford's mouth drops open. “i did not!”
“you were distracting me!”
“you're the one who broke it!”
“okay, okay,” their mother interrupts before it turns into a wrestling match. she dries her hands on a dishtowel and comes over, kneeling down next to her son Stanley. “let me see.”
Stan holds up the ruined line, eyes downcast. Caryn takes it, carefully untangling what's left, making something whole out of something broken.
“not a big deal,” she says calmly. “i've got another one in the drawer.”
Stan sniffs, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve. “i wanted to do it myself.”
“i know, baby,” she murmurs. she kisses the top of his head softly. ”you'll get it next time.”
Ford watches, silent. Stan exhales, some of the tension leaving his shoulders, the need to prove something wilting under their mother’s hand on his back.
“help me with dinner?” she asks, gently ruffling his hair.
“yeah,” Stanley answers, already halfway to forgetting. he scrambles to his feet, following her like a little shadow.
Ford watches them go. he pushes his glasses up his nose. picks up his pencil. finishes the half-sketched drawing.
the ocean breathes in, breathes out
the first time Ford tastes saltwater, it’s because his brother dunked him under the waves. it’s a game kids play when they don’t yet know the world is full of real drownings. Ford comes up coughing, spitting out the ocean, laughing loudly. Stan’s grin is wide and reckless.
“gotcha, poindexter!” he crows, hands still in the water, ready to do it again.
Ford shoves him back, not that hard but it makes Stan stumble and splash into the shallows. their mother calls from the shore, “boys, don’t go too deep!” but she’s smiling, and the wind carries her words off over the tide.
their mother, so young. her dark hair twisted up in a scarf, her dress fluttering, hands on her hips. she worries, always, but right now she lets the worry go. the ocean is big, but her boys are still here.
Ford wipes salt from his eyes. “you’re gonna pay for that, Stanley!”
“you can’t even catch me, four-eyes!”
and then they’re off, kicking up seafoam, yelling so loud they could wake up every gull on the shore. Ford chasing, Stan laughing, the two of them running so fast they forget about gravity, about time, about the fact that childhood ends.
Caryn watches from the shore, hand shading her eyes. her boys. her impossible boys. her heart aches just looking at them.
years later, one name will be stolen, the other lost in a machine meant to swallow men whole.
but she does not know that yet.
for now, her boys are hers.
“boys! dinner!”
two twins, Stan and Ford are already running, tangled together, because that's what twins do. they spill into the kitchen in one motion, laughing, shoving, too loud, too much. Caryn shakes her head but she's smiling.
“plates,” she reminds, tapping the counter, and Stan groans but Ford grabs them both.
their mother watches them eat as she asks. “what are you going to be when you grow up?”
Ford swallows his bite too fast, too excited to answer that. “an adventurer!” he says, as if he's thought about this every night before sleeping. (he has.) “a scientist. a— a traveler, maybe. i'll see things nobody's ever seen before!”
“and you, Stanley?”
Stan taps his fork against his plate. shrugs. “i dunno,” he says. “but wherever he goes, i'll go too.”
Ford looks at him. like the sun looks at the moon, like gravity itself, like there is no world in which they are apart. “yeah, yeah, of course.” he smiles at his twin
their mother closes her eyes. she wants to believe it. she hopes. god, she hopes.
she has a feeling, deep in her gut, that one day, Ford is going to go somewhere Stanley can’t follow.
they are eight, they are ten, they are twelve.
“you think,” Stan mumbles one night. “when we're old, we'll still be like this?”
Ford snorts. ”old?”
“like, really old. like . . . like thirty.”
Ford laughs into his pillow. “yeah. of course. what kind of question is that?”
Stan doesn't know. it just. . . sometimes he gets scared, that's all.
years pass and they swallow them whole.
time is not kind to their dreams. it chews them up and spits them out on different shores.
Ford falls into another world, Stan falls into survival. they are no longer boys dreaming on a dock.
but here’s the thing about twins. you can split them apart, you can burn them down, you can throw them to opposite ends of the universe, and still they will find their way back.
years pass.
Stan's hands are steady on the wheel, the waves licking at the hull. the sky is full of bruises, pinks and purples spilling into each other, the last gasp of daylight.
Ford leans against the railing, wind pulling at his coat.
“remember when i broke that fishing line?” Stan asks suddenly.
Ford turns, squinting at him against the light. “what?”
“back when we were kids. mom fixed it for me.”
Ford blinks. then he huffs a laugh. “yeah. yeah, i remember that.”
Stan grins. “you were so smug about it.”
“because i was right.”
“no, you weren't.”
“yes, i was.”
mom's not here to stop them fighting. it's okay. they're not boys anymore
Stan rolls his eyes, but it’s affectionate. he looks out at the horizon, lets the boat sway beneath them.
Ford watches him.
the thing is, Stan was always like this. loud, quick-tempered, full of teeth. but he was also this. soft, sentimental, remembering things Ford never thought he would.
Ford clears his throat. “mom was good at fixing things,” he says.
“yeah.”
the sky darken and the stars blink awake. Ford glances down, at his own hands. at the scars, at the years worn into his skin.
“we turned out alright, huh?” he asks quietly.
Stan snorts. “speak for yourself.”
Ford rolls his eyes.
they drift. the boat creaks, the ocean sings.
Ford looks at stan. Stan looks back.
and then Stan reaches over. ruffles Ford’s hair. quickly and carelessly, just like their mother used to.
Ford freezes what makes Stan grin as he pulls away
Ford groans, swats at him. “you always do that—”
“mom did the same,” Stan says, laughing.
Ford rolls his eyes again, but he’s smiling. suddenly he gets too quiet, lost in his own thoughts and memories
“mom would love this,” Ford whispers. “us out here. she always liked the ocean.”
“yeah, she liked watching us in it.”
once, long ago, their mother sat on the shore and watched her boys in the waves.
now, the ocean stretches out before them, endless and unknowable.
“let’s head in,” Stanley says and pushes his brother lightly on the shoulder. ”before you get all misty-eyed on me.”
somewhere in the tide, in the wind, in the bones of the ship creaking beneath them, she is there. her boys are together again.
they sail on.
#gravity falls#Stan Pines#ford pines#stanley pines#Stanford pines#a tale of two stans#young stan pines#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#caryn pines
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Hello hello:)
May I request Gerhard in a first date with fem!reader?🩷
'You are to convince this woman to be your wife. Her family have aspects promising of the Fra House. YOU MUST win her over.'
The words of his father rung in his ears before of the appointed time to meet with the debutant. Both were of aristocratic homes and so he had to prove he could provide her with a life that she's familiar with. should be easy...Unless this woman is like a normal aristocrat.
Upon meeting, she gave a curtsey as he gave a bow. Their chaperone was her maid and so the woman looked to the usual market as she then said "I'd like to get a few things before we meet for tea. Is that alright?" "This is for us to enjoy, Milady. We do as you wish" He replied with a charming tone.
She's the oldest daughter and had her own mind of what she liked. She rather liked the common things that their status wouldn't think of touching. Gerhard was interested as she actually had a basket for vegetables or things as if she were a wife shopping, it was odd to him but never-less he did as she liked. She paid for fruits and flowers as well as a box containing a dress. Following as she talked about her many siblings and her mother, he looked to see her attention to a local café.
"Could we go there? It looks lovely" You asked as Gerhard could only give a nod, his face was as she gave him. Should she frown, he would or if she smiles; he would. He's trying to woo this woman and his honor of eldest son of the Fra house depends on this!
At the café, the Chaperone sat at her own table while the two were at their own; free to talk as they wish but still being watched. He ordered perhaps the most expensive cake and tea for them to enjoy. You enjoyed the tea and cakes as you both talked about your families but...You felt like Gerhard was hiding something. "So...Tell me, Mr.Fra. What do you like?" you asked as Gerhard placed his cup down.
'How should I answer. I must win her over...'
That thought went through his mind as before he could speak, he noticed a new painting was being hung where his red wine eyes watched. THAT answered your question as a little giggle pass your lips as Gerhard found himself being the source of your laughter and cleared his throat, a faint blush on his face. "Do forgive me, the painting caught my attention" This was the first time outside your previous meetings where he showed actual interest in something rather than the scripted words you're used to. Once the cakes were ate and the tea was drank, the time came for you to leave as your chaperone gave a friendly reminder to you.
"I'd like our next meeting to be at a Museum or perhaps art gallery. I myself like the arts and the old...They hold a special charm, Don't they?" Gerhard listened as he gave a small blink. You wanted to meet again? How fortuitous! He was progressing in his way of claiming you as The Lady Fra and he won't miss it! He was lucky that the next meeting was at his pleasure and so he nodded with a genuine smile "I'll assure of it, My Lady." He replied as once out of the Tea house, he gave a bow as she curtseyed in departure.
As you leave, he noticed a small flower that was placed in his coat pocket. A coin flower. Simple but beautiful....Just like the Debutant he wants to Woo. Though there were many more larger flowers, he found the smallest flowers is what really mattered as their symbolism mattered more and so he held the flower between his slender fingers.
Perhaps he should send you flowers as promise for the next meeting.
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"No!" cried your mum, seeing your overplumped body on the videophone. "What has he done to you? That man is hurting you-" "He would never hurt me, he's making me happy," you responded before letting out a burp and patting your belly. You felt the pressure release a little in your stretched out stomach and sighed. "Sweetheart," your mum implored, her voice breaking as she tried to hold back tears. "He's only doing this for himself. He doesn't care about you. You do know if you get much heavier you'll lose your medical freedoms. If you want to eat food sensibly like everyone does before sixteen, it'll be expensive but I can get you on some stronger slimming pills than you have now and-" "I don't take slimming pills anymore, Mum." There was shocked silence for five seconds before your mum burst into massive sobs.
I smirked from behind the door, a bag full of fried chicken in one hand, a box with doughnuts in it in the other. We'd been dating for three years now and I'd captured you completely. I started off slow, taking you on more 'vintage' dates as you liked to call them. Then I suggested having three meals a day. You leapt at that. But you were still on the slimming pills so the weight you should have been gaining after seven years of just taking nutrient pills and not eating more than a chocolate bar wasn't adding to your body. Weaning you off the pills was tricky, they're well known to have awful withdrawal symptoms, be somewhat addictive and you kept going back on them for your parents. But then I told you how I would be so proud to have a unique fat partner and that the bigger you are, the more food you can eat. Slowly, I increased your portions as well, and you never commented until I was giving you portions for three. And you just said how happy you were, before asking if there was dessert. It took until our second year together for you to be completely free of the slimming pills and that birthday was the last time you'd seen your parents. That year you were a lip-curling 240 lbs, your dad cautiously embracing you at the door, his hands afraid to touch your softness and your mum gave me daggers all afternoon.
That's when I suggested something that would prove your dependency on me. "You should stop seeing your parents, they don't know what's right for you. Did you see the way they looked at your gorgeous body I've been helping you grow? If you're not thinking about making them comfortable anymore, you'll feel a lot freer to eat like I know you want to," I had whispered to you in the autotaxi back home. And you had just stared into my eyes, before saying "I only want to eat. That's all I want. I don't think I want anything else. They wouldn't understand." You had come a long way from the naive chubby thing I'd first taken to a diner. For one thing, you were now fast approaching 350 lbs, over 100 lbs in a year.
As your mum was trying to persuade you to leave me through tear soaked sobs, your belly was growling. You hadn't eaten in around an hour and a half, the real maximum gap in meals for you back then. I let myself push open the door in a way that made it look like I hadn't been listening for the past ten minutes and gave a maybe overly friendly smile to your mum. I walked behind the sofa you were lounging on and placed the box of doughnuts down beside you. "You feeling hungry, darling?" I asked you, swinging the bag of fried chicken in front of your face. Your eyes widened and you nodded frantically, practically snatching the bag from me. Your mum's face said it all as I surreptitiously pressed mute on the remote and she began almost screaming for me to leave you alone. But I could never leave you, you were just the sketches of my masterpiece back then, I still had more pounds to paint upon your body, hundreds more.
You opened the bag, completely unaware that I'd muted your mum, and began tearing into the chicken and grabbing handfuls of fries. I stroked your hair as you ate and stared at you mum as her face went redder from the anger I was stoking in her. I kissed your oily forehead. She began jabbing her bony finger at the screen. I fondled your belly riddled with stretch marks as you groaned from the grease building up in your gut. She was now bashing her videophone and pacing around her living room. You were blissfully unaware, trying to decide between battered drumsticks before taking a bite from both. You wiped your sticky hand through your hair and I tutted playfully as I switched your mum's sound back on. After all, it was only fair I got to hear some of her opinion on what I was about to say.
"You are a mucky pup, aren't you? How about we replace your hair with some of that really cool self cleaning synthetic stuff? You won't have to spend time washing it anymore after you get it all greasy, greedy boy." You nodded, mid mouthful. You were eyeing up the doughnuts already and wanted to finish the chicken faster. "Don't you dare," yelled your mum. "Take your hands off my son, you disgusting bastard. Don't you see baby, he's hurting you?" You stopped chewing and blinked at the screen, suddenly aware you could hear your mum again. "He's helping me. I understand exactly why he told me I shouldn't see you anymore. You don't love me at all," you said before swallowing the chicken and grabbing at the box of doughnuts. Those feelings stung a bit too much and you knew food would smother them. Those desperate groans were so adorable as your rounded boulder like stomach made reaching the box harder. And God, you were always so easy to manipulate, all those messages I'd been imprinting in your mind over the years had really made their mark. You just said everything that I needed you to say. I looked at the screen, where your mum stood in her living room, jaw slack. "You made him upset on his birthday," I slyly smiled, rubbing salt into the wound. I looked back to you. "Shall we block her?" You were massaging your belly, trying to fit in a second doughnut in even as you were still chewing your first. "Sure," you mumbled through the cheeks full of food. "She'll never understand." I nodded. "That's right, I will always understand though, darling." "You won't get away with this, you sick, sick bastard," spat your mum. "I'll report you to the Corporation when I get your address." I shrugged and hung up the call, I was planning to move to a cheaper, less Corporation monitored flat anyway and she wouldn't be able to find this address in time. Switching the screen back over to the meaningless tv programmes that would become the background noise of your life, I turned my attention back to you. You were snuffling through the doughnut box like a pig, your cute round cheeks damp with tears.
I cupped your chins, raising your face to meet mine. "You never have to worry about any more horrible conversations like that again," I reassured you, wiping your cheeks with my thumb. "It's just gonna be me and you against the world, okay? Fuck the Corporation, fuck your parents." You nodded, your cheeks wide with doughnuts you'd crammed in there, hoping to soothe yourself. I walked to the kitchen area, taking glances back at you as I took an enormous chocolate cake from the fridge. This would be the biggest thing you'd ever eaten in your life back then, but now, you're eating cakes like this on the daily. You were finishing up the doughnuts, already grunting from the fullness.
"Happy Birthday darling," I smiled as I brought the cake over to the sofa. "I hope you left some room."
Confused? This is the fourth part of a series that I'm calling Visions From Your Future that is posted out of sequence on purpose so check out:
Part 2
Part 4 (This part)
Part 1
Part 3
#angel stories#Visions From Your Future#death feedism#death feederism#death feeder#death feedist#extreme feedism#queer feeder#gay feeder
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