#I wanted both of them this time and not just dean doodling Cas on an iPad which was great motivation

[wigglebox]

Spring afternoons 🌈✨

[kotumari]

if ur still doing sketch requests... how does dean feel about endverse cas and baby? or maybe cas does not let dean hold baby 😳

uhhh so endverse destiel and baby

ok this one has been in the drafts WAY too long but i havent quite gotten the visualization right and i dont want to leave it in drafts for 30 years. (that being said do expect some endv dean + baby bc i have doodles of it but nothing post-worthy yet </3)

i have so many feelings abt endv dean + baby. like, if u have dean + baby REGARDLESS of context its already a lot to unpack. a lot to handle. makes me feel unwell (in a good way. or something). if u add “the baby is a product of him and cas” its like. ok taking psychic damage. add endverse for instant KO. 

for the most part, i think he would be anxious about it. would be so fucking worried abt cas the whole time. hes already SO possessive about cas even tho he doesnt want to show it, but i think if there was a baby in the picture he would 1) have an excuse to be possessive and over-protective in front of everyone else bc its about the baby instead of cas (read: its also VERY much about cas) and 2) he would finally have an excuse to kinda.. keep heavier tabs on cas. genuinely i do think he would go so far as to try to keep cas locked in the cabin if he had to, which would certainly result in them fighting (reasonable response to that, imo).

all i can rlly think about is.. pure melancholy. its hard to describe. or draw, even. every time i think about “how would dean feel about the baby in this context” all i can picture is dean looking so fucking sadly at cas like someone kicked his puppy in front of him. dean getting a constant mental barrage of “i did this to him. we cant do this now. i cant do this period. what if i lose him. what if i lose both of them. what if he realizes im really not good enough. does he even want to do this with me.” and its just OUGGHGHHH its heart-wrenching honestly.

genuinely i do think he would love the baby. i think thats the problem. its just like how he really does love cas, he just. yeah. idk. i hope this makes sense </3

[blessyourhondahurley]

Moving On, or Not

Destiel Month prompts: Human AU / Baby Random word: complication 

(Read on AO3)

OCTOBER

Dean unlocks his front door and steps inside, dropping his backpack in the entryway when he hears the phone ringing. His feet start to carry him straight down the hall before he catches himself and remembers, wait, phone's in the kitchen in this house. Two months after the move and he still forgets sometimes. He veers off to the right and grabs the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Dean”

“Hey, Cas! What's up, man? S'great to hear you!” It's the understatement of the year. There were many good things to be said about the new house, the new school, the new town, but so far nothing has outweighed the ache in Dean's chest at leaving Cas behind. Cas, his best friend since babyhood. Cas, who used to live 77 steps away in the house next door and who's now four towns over. Cas, whom Dean misses like there's a ragged hole in his middle.

“It's good to hear you too, Dean. I'm sorry I haven't called in a couple weeks. Mid-quarter exams were more grueling than I'd expected. How are you doing there?”

“Yeah, okay. My exams weren't bad. None of my classes here are too hard, actually. It's one of the good things about the move, I guess...” His words trail off into a welter of conflicted emotion.

He's been trying to stay cheerful, focus on the positive, even going so far as to write out a list of how his family's life has improved since his dad got the promotion and the transfer. Dad is proud and excited about his new position. Mom has made friends with the neighbors and found a part-time job she loves. Sammy is ecstatic about having his own room for the first time. It seems like everyone's happier. Dean, on the other hand... All he can think about is what he's lost. Who he's lost.

He realizes that they've been silent, both of them, for a while. He scrambles to find something to say.

“What's going on at the old place? How are Gabe and Charlie?” Dean doesn't want to ask, doesn't want to think about his old school and the friends he left there, but he can't help it. Cas delivers a chirpy update – Charlie's latest romantic complications, Gabe's most recent prank debacle. The reliable sameness of his friends' lives shines a spotlight on how much Dean's is different now.

Cas interrupts Dean's train of thought with a question. “What about you, Dean? Have you made some new friends?”

With those six words, Cas hits Dean's rawest nerve. Dean was never the king of the popular kids at his old school, but he had his group – kids he'd known since kindergarten. His friends understood him, bone-deep. They were people he could trust with his secrets, his innermost thoughts. At the new school, he's found some buddies. He's got someone to eat lunch with, someone to partner up on projects with, someone to bitch about teachers with. But he misses feeling known. That's not what he tells Cas, though.

“Yeah, I've got a few.”

“Any girls?” Cas's tone is light, teasing. Dean tries to match it and he thinks he succeeds, more or less.

“Yeah, there's this chick named Lisa in my History class. She gave me her number. I dunno. She seems cool, but...” He trails off again, unable to finish the sentence in any way other than she's not as cool as you.

Thankfully, Cas doesn't seem interested in inquiring further. He steers the conversation to the most recent episode of their favorite TV show. The two boys argue over where they think the plot's heading until Dean's mom gets home and he has to hang up and do his chores.

After dinner, when he's supposed to be doing his homework but he's mostly just doodling in the margins of his notebook, he thinks about that call. He thinks about the moment when Cas had asked about girls and Dean's mind had immediately compared Lisa to Cas.

Dean doesn't know when he started feeling this way about his best friend. Maybe it's been years, maybe it's all brand new. All he's sure about is that since the move, the separation, his drive to spend time with Cas has... Taken on some new angles. Now along with the urge to hang out, there's a desire to touch, to hold, to kiss. It's too late, he tells himself. Forget it. Whatever it is he's feeling, whatever he thinks he  wants, he should've figured it out while they still lived side by side. Now Cas is out of reach, and Dean needs to be focusing on his life here.

 Part 2

[apocalypseornaw]

Always be Yours-6

Word Count: 3,105

Story Summary: Inspired by the 2 part I did of the same title. Follows Dean and reader through season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: Cas runs across a case so you and Dean go to check it out

Warnings: usual fighting and cursing. Mention of suicide

Kevin finally emerged from his room to say he’d had some big breakthrough with the angel tablet so you, Dean and Sam followed him into the library and watched as he unloaded his arm load of notes onto the tables. You stepped forward and picked up one of the sheets then glanced at Sam and held it out as Dean picked up a few sheets and looked them over as well “Kev, sweetie your big news is that you translated the tablet into doodles?”

“It’s cuneiform” he corrected and when neither of you seemed to understand what he meant he further explained “I hit a wall translating the tablet into english but I found an ancient codex linking the angel script to proto-elamite cuneiform and I was able to translate the tablet and the footnotes into elamite which is..” “Doodles?” Dean guessed and Kevin sighed “It’s extinct”

“Well can you read it?” Sam asked and you tried not to let the disappointment show on your face when Kevin’s answer was “No one can. Scholars have tried for centuries” “So it’s a dead end” you pushed as Dean sat down in the chair you’d been leaning on the back of but Kevin shook his head “Not quite. Now most proto-elamite is abstract but I was able to decipher one phrase from Metatron’s footnotes..falling angels” Dean looked over his shoulder at you then at Sam who said “Ok, so the footnotes refer to Metatron’s spell?” “Maybe?” Kevin shrugged and you let out a breath. Maybe didn’t get you any closer to a solution for Cas or anyone else for that matter. 

Sam nodded then walked over to a shelf of books “Well maybe if we can decipher the footnotes then we can reverse the spell..” “and punt those winged dicks back to heaven” Dean finished and you shook your head at his choice of words but they were dicks for trying to hurt Cas for something he hadn’t really known would happen. “Well, where do we start?” you asked and Sam started handing out from the stack of books he’d plucked off the shelf “Research” 

You took the book he offered you and pulled the chair out next to Dean “So we comb through the library, see if we can find anything else on elamite?” Sam nodded then sat down next to Kevin with two books. Dean cut his eyes at you then read the title of the book Sam had passed him “Zimmerman’s encyclopedia of extinct languages: volume one. Adai to atakapa.. How many volumes are there?” “Twenty four” Kevin replied and you tried to hide your laugh with a cough when Dean groaned at his answer.

You were flipping through volume three when Dean’s phone rang. You glanced up when he stood up and walked away from the table but when Sam looked your way you quickly turned your attention back to the book in your hands. 

A few minutes passed before Dean walked back over and tapped his phone on the table to get all of your attention “Cas has a case in Rexford. Four missing, presumed dead. Strange substance at the scene. Sounds worth checking out” “Ok? So what flavor of weird is he thinking?” you asked but Dean shrugged “He didn’t say” “Who’s going because Kev needs help with the research” you spoke not glancing up until he said “Why don’t you? We worked pretty well in the hospital together against the angels and Sam's better at the research side anyways” you looked at him then at Sam for help but Sam bless his pretty little head simply shrugged.

------

You sat in the passenger side of the impala trying your best to act as if you weren’t alone with Dean. “Why can’t we see Cas?” you finally asked and he shook his head “He’s catnip for angels” “Yeah and we left Zeke at the bunker inside Sammy in case you forgot.. Hell we’re catnip for angels from what went down at the hospital and in Detroit. I want to at least check on him. Please?” You weren’t above begging and knew you struck a cord with Dean when you said please. He sighed “Fine. If we can find him, we’ll check on him. Ok?” “Thank you” you replied and reached over to turn up the radio.

------

Dean stopped a little way out of Rexford for you both to change into your fed suits. The most recent crime scene was a cabin so that’s where you headed first. 

When you rolled on scene the entire place was still taped off and crawling with cops. You grabbed your ID then followed Dean since he was the one to call ahead and talk to the sheriff.

He met the two of you at the tape and waved a deputy off “This is Agent Ermey and Agent Speight” you and Dean both nodded to the deputy then followed the sheriff. “So four missing?” you asked but the sheriff clarified “Four dead. Just got confirmation” You looked towards Dean who asked “Any common threads you can think of?” “Well Joe in there had the suicide hotline on speed dial. The gal before him was a shut in, had enough antidepressants in her medicine cabinet to stock a pharmacy. The first victims were a married couple out of Sugar City, pretty much a walking billboard for no-fault divorce” “Were they all basket cases?” Dean asked with that bluntness of his you’d come to look for over the time you’d known him.

The sheriff glanced away “If you asked me to make a list of this county’s saddest sacks, these four would’ve been right on top”  you nodded then spoke “All right so four unhappy people, one of them definitely suicidal, but you’ve ruled out suicide?” The sheriff looked from you to Dean then got some booties to cover your shoes and some gloves from one of the deputies “You’re going to want to out these on” You raised your eyebrows but leaned over to pull the booties on over the flats you wore with your fed suit then pulled the gloves onto your hands. Once you and Dean looked ready for surgery the sheriff lead the two of you inside.

The inside of the cabin absolutely reeked and it took you a moment to register just what exactly was covering every surface. “This look like suicide to you agents?” The sheriff asked and you swallowed hard as you looked at Dean. Just what in the hell had caused this? 

You motioned to the substance that was everywhere “Correct me if I’m wrong sheriff but is this excuse the way I’m about to put this but is this everything? Like blood, meat, organs and skin?” The sheriff nodded “If the tests come back same as the others. Yes ma’am. Like these poor souls got  run through the world’s finest wood chipper” “What about witnesses?” Dean questioned as you let your eyes skim across the walls and the remains of “Joe”

“Same as the rest. Neighbors reported some kind of pink flash, by the time we got here all that was left was this” the sheriff answered looking around. Dean thanked the sheriff and handed him a card before leading you back outside. You stripped the booties and gloves then tossed them into the bag the deputy at the door held. 

When you finally made it back to baby you looked at Dean as he slid behind the wheel “What the hell did that?” He shrugged but was already dialing his phone “I’m going to call Sam and Kevin, see if they can find anything to point us in the right direction. Meantime you geared up good enough?” you nodded “Silver bullets with devils’ traps, holy water and an angel blade” he smirked “That’s my girl” then pulled the phone up to his ear as he backed out from Joe’s yard and pulled onto the road leading into town.

------

After finding out Sam and Kevin hadn’t gotten anywhere, Dean suggested they try getting Crowley to assist on the translation then you and him stopped to change back into civilian clothes,grabbed coffee and headed into the center of the town. So far you’d tried emf, looked for hex bags and sulfur to not avail. You had no clue what had happened to those four people.

You glanced out your window then hit Dean’s arm “STOP” “OW. What for?” you pointed to the Gas N Sip “CAS!”

------

You waited out at baby while Dean headed in to talk to Cas. He made him leave so he had to face him alone. 

You were going through what lore you’d downloaded onto your laptop while Dean was in the store. You texted Sam to see how his luck had been with Crowley and weren’t too surprised when he sent back “What do you think?”

The driver’s door opening made you look up from where you’d been sitting with your legs stretched across the backseat and grinned when you saw Cas was with Dean “There’s my favorite set of blue eyes” Cas smiled softly at you “Hello Y/N” and climbed into the passenger seat. Dean updated you on the fact that there had been another killing at the local high school and that apparently Cas had a date later that night “Ooh the blonde? She’s hot” both of them looked back at you so you shrugged “What? I got to pick one type that I like?” Dean shook his head with a laugh and pulled out onto the road.

------

You flashed your badge at the deputy and nodded in Cas’ direction “He’s with us” the school ground was crawling with deputies and it made your stomach turn to know whatever was doing the killing had taken out someone this young.

Dean headed to talk to the deputy who had a witness but you noticed Cas stop to look at the bus that was covered in the same substance that Joe’s cabin had been covered in. “Cas, do you know what this is?” he nodded slowly “As a matter of fact, I do”

He looked back towards baby so you offered “Let’s walk away from it” he told you where he’d seen the substance before and the knot in your stomach grew with the information. You spotted Dean when he headed your way “You two ok?” you looked at Cas “He’s seen this before” “What, where?” Dean asked so Cas replied “In heaven” 

“So an angel did this?” Dean questioned and you nodded even before Cas explained “It’s not ordinary angel. This is bad, this is very bad” just seeing Cas that worried scared the hell out of you.

-----

The Rit Zien was a special class of angel. Rit Zien was enochian for “Hands of mercy” They functioned like medics tending to the wounded, healing those that could be healed and putting down those who were past saving.

Cas explained to you and Dean that the Rit Zien honed in on pain like a beacon. So when this particular one fell to earth he heard the victims’ cries, their anguish same as he heard the angels in heaven. He was continuing his heavenly work down on earth. 

Cas turned down going along to hunt down the angel and it was a shock to realize Cas was scared. “We got this” You assured him patting his shoulder so Dean added “Go on that date. Have a little bit of a normal life” 

“I need a ride” Cas said and you smiled at him “Well you’re sitting in the sexiest ride this town currently has in it”

------

You were laid across the backseat of the impala using your jacket as a pillow when Dean pulled to a stop in front of Nora’s house so you sat up. “Nice place” 

Cas started to get out with his work vest still on so Dean stopped him. “You can’t wear that” “This is all I have” you leaned up and took a good look at him “Take the vest off” he did as you asked and Dean nodded approvingly “Unbutton a few buttons” Cas did that also so you threw in “And untuck your shirt!” he did that then threw his hands up at you both “Good enough?” you shamelessly checked him out and saw a hint of a smile “She won’t know what hit her”

“Always open the door for her, ask a lot of questions they like that” you knew Dean was offering Cas help but you popped him lightly behind the head at that “They” comment. He cut his eyes at you in the mirror and added “If she says she’s happy to go dutch, she’s lying” and patted Cas on the chest “Go get em tiger” you leaned up and kissed Cas on the cheek “Be yourself. That’s enough” then he climbed out of the car. 

------

You and Dean hadn’t got all the way across town when his phone rang from the sheriff. The analysis from the first crime scene came back. Only the wife’s dna was present. Meaning the husband was still out there making him the most likely to be the vessel.

The two of you headed straight for the sheriff’s office and there your thoughts were confirmed. The husband had found religion then gotten obsessed with Buddy Boyle’s podcast.You and Dean were going over the files the sheriff had on the couple when he stopped on one photo and showed you the truck “Is that the one that blocked us in?” he nodded “Excuse us sheriff, we got to go”

------

The moment you made it into the door the angel sent you and Dean flying into a crumpled heap.You could hear the baby crying but considering you’d smacked your head going down and Dean’s weight was on your legs you couldn’t get up.

Dean slid his angel blade to Cas at the last moment and Cas buried it home. You pulled your legs out from under Dean and headed for the baby while Dean helped Cas to his feet.

You scooped her up and turned to look at the two of them “Everybody good?” they nodded and you let out a breath “Good”

------

You and Dean ended up staying with Cas until Nora got back from her date and between the three of you the baby finally calmed and went back to sleep. When Nora got there you and Dean headed outside to call Sam while Cas spoke to Nora.

The news from Sam was about the worst you could get. The spell Metatron did was irreversible. The angels couldn’t get back into heaven.

------

It hurt having to leave Cas yet again but he was safe from the angels and adapting. You knew it was for the best even if you wished more than anything he could come home to the bunker.

------

You were silent for the first couple hours of the ride back to Lebanon until Dean bumped your knee with his hand. “Want to stop and grab a bite to eat?” you rolled your head to look over at him “Sure, might as well”

When the two of you headed into the diner he slung his arm around your shoulders “Go to admit Y/N, you’re a natural with kids sweetheart” you rolled your eyes and said “You weren’t so bad yourself Dean” with a laugh.The older waitress that was at the counter smiled at the two of you when you walked in and headed for a corner booth.

When she came to take your order she looked between the two of you “Can I just say how cute it is to see a couple get along so well?” your mouth fell open in shock and you expected Dean to correct her but he just winked at her and motioned to you “Look at her. How could I not get along with her?” you shot him a look then when the waitress left to place your orders you looked back at him “What the hell was that?” and he shrugged “Sweetheart I’ve been accused of a lot worse than managing to get you as mine” you felt your cheeks warm but ducked your head to hide it and said “You’re a natural flirt Dean, you know that?” and when you glanced back up he smiled “Tell me to stop and I will never flirt with you again” you took a sip of the water in front of you and shrugged “I’ve still not seen any flirting worth being impressed over” his eyes widened at that “So is that the issue? I’m not convincing enough?” 

A part of you still wondered if Charlie told him how you felt so you quickly threw back “I just know you don’t mean it” this time he looked a bit thrown but you could see the wheels turning in his head even when the waitress brought your food back over to the table.

--------

Dean was quiet throughout the two of you eating and even when you got back out to the impala. It wasn't until you were miles down the road that he finally spoke "Look Y/N, I know I'm a flirt. I like sex there's no shame in that but if I was to be with someone I'd be loyal to that person and I wouldn't say I wanted someone as a joke or a way to appease hurt feelings hell I'm too much of a jackass for that" you turned sideways in the seat and studied his profile for a moment considering he'd just poured his heart out without taking his eyes from the road. 

"Are you trying to say something Dean?" You asked feeling your heart jump into your throat with the hope that maybe just maybe he was. That hope was squashed when he shook his head "Not really. I just don't want you thinking I'm one of those types of guys is all" "Oh, well don't worry about that Dean. We're good" you replied with a smile then straightened up in the seat pulling your jacket up on you as a blanket "Wake me when we get home or if you want me to drive some" 

He cut his eyes at you with a smirk "Home it is"

Tags: @facadeformyrealblog @akshi8278

[samgirlskeepwinning]

Sam bday fic

I asked Allison @arsonsamwinchester for a birthday fic prompt and she gave me artist Sam! So here it is, happy birthday Sam! (for the third time today, but finally a happy one)

(Well part of it)

Sam first started drawing when he was a little kid. Sometimes the motels they stayed at had free little notepads and pens, not all of them, but they semi regularly did, and Sam would claim them for himself and fill them with doodles. The pages were covered in depictions of his surroundings, sights out of the car window, plants and animals, childish attempts at drawing the car itself, but the majority of his drawings were of the few people he knew, his dad and brother and his imaginary friend once he showed up.

Sam didn’t consistently draw, often drawing many days in a row until running out of motel notepaper, then going without it until the next time they stayed somewhere with a notepad.

When Sam was told about the monsters, hunting, he choice in subject changed from simply drawing the world around him to more imaginative, expressive art, a transition from innocent childish doodles to darker subjects. Monsters became what he mostly drew, sitting alone in a motel room with the knowledge of what his dad and brother were out doing, losing himself in his art to distract from worrying.

As Sam got older he drew less, focusing more on schoolwork and hunting then drawing, though he would still doodle occasionally on the edges of his school papers.

While looking at elective courses for college though, Sam remembered drawing as a kid, and impulsively signed up to take an art class.

He met Jess in that class.

Four years at college flew by, studying and making friends and getting his first long term girlfriend and moving in with her, art staying with him the whole time, both his own and Jess’s, even after he finished his art class Jess majoring in art kept it in his life.

After Jess died though he hardly drew at all, too consumed with anger and pain, then wrapped up in his developing powers, Dean’s deal, the demon blood and apocalypse and the cage and hallucinations and leviathans until he hadn’t drawn in years.

Dabbling in art again while with Amelia just became another thing to leave behind when he got sucked back into hunting, yet again going years without art, through the trials and angelic possession and Dean’s Mark of Cain and demon Dean and the darkness and more visions and Lucifer and God and the British Men of Letters and Mary coming back and Lucifer again and the nephilim and Cas dying and Mary disappearing into the apocalyptic world, all the way up to meeting Jack.

All the way up to now, in a book store with Jack, trying to find for a book for research while Jack wandered around looking at whatever caught his eye.

—————————————————-

“Hey Sam!”

Upon hearing his name Sam looked up from the mythology section of the book store to search for Jack, who had left his eye sight and was surely the one excitedly calling for him. Jack came around the corner of the aisle a little bit fast, coming to a stop with a slight skid, clutching a book in his hands.

“Look, they have a Star Wars book!” He held the book out for Sam to see. It was a Star Wars themed adult coloring book, boasting 100 images on the cover. Jack opened it up, flipping through the pages quickly. “It has Ahsoka in it!” He landed on a page that, like he said, had Ahsoka with just lines and no color, ready to be colored in.

Sam smiled at the Jack’s obvious delight over finding his favorite Star Wars character in the book. “Do you want to get it? I’m sure we could get something for you to color it with.”

Jack’s face lit up at his words, clearly very happy to be offered it. “They have a whole little art section, come on!” He grabbed Sam’s hand and led him to where he found the book, proudly presenting it with a flourish of his arms before looking at the various coloring tools.

Sam felt nostalgia wash over him as he picked up a sketchbook with a leather cover, thinking of good times at Stanford.

Jack ended up getting the Star Wars book and crayons, and Sam bought the leather sketchbook, pencils, markers, and chalk pastels.

(They forgot the book they came there in the first place for, but as he sat drawing for the first time in years next to Jack as he determinedly colored, trying to stay in the lines, Sam found he didn’t mind much.)

AN: I don’t think they ever told us what Jess was majoring in but I always liked art major, but it’s not set in stone for me, I could see her doing a different major too.

Also I don’t know how college works so I don’t know how long Sam would be taking his art class but I get the vibe that it wouldn’t be the whole four years since it’s not specifically for his major of ‘pre-law’? idk

[psyleedee]

The Equation of Love.

dean/castiel, jock!dean, nerd!castiel, smart!cas, love at first sight, footballer!dean, high school au, fluff, boys in love.

1.5k words. drabble.

-psyleedee.

It's a sunny summer morning, and Coach Singer has just blown the whistle, signifying their break from football practice.

That's when Dean really notices the boy sitting at the bleachers.

He noticed him first, when they were lined up and Coach Singer was explaining to the team about the upcoming finals, and their match with the rival high school from their neighboring county. The boy, with messy dark hair, as if he'd been electrocuted, with round, big blue eyes behind those thick black rimmed glasses, peering passionately into the pile of notebooks scattered around them, and his plush, pink lips mumbling to themselves.

Dean had found the boy odd. Firstly, owing to the fact that no one sat at the bleachers unless they wanted to smoke, make-out, or ogle at Dean and his team shirtless.

And this guy is studying? Wow.

Now that Dean has some time to himself, he decides, eh, what could possibly happen? Might as well go talk to the guy.

So here he is, standing at the edge of the bench the weird guy is sitting on, with his jersey shirt flung over his shoulder rather than draped around his chest, as it should be. What, Dean likes showing off his abs, he didn't work out for years straight to keep them hidden.

The boy doesn't spare him a glance. At first, Dean thinks he doesn't know Dean's there. But then there's a voice.

"I'm sorry, are you waiting for me?"

A deep, low tenor sound, and Dean is caught off-guard with how it sounds way deeper than it is supposed to. They're only eighteen, for god's sake.

"Erm, I, uh, I guess."

Then, the boy whips his beautiful, angel face up at Dean.

"Hello Dean."

"You know my name?"

"Are you not captain of the football team? Of course I know you're name."

Dean smiles, and considers it alright to slide onto the bench, next to Castiel, his thigh only inches away from Castiel's. The books around them are notebooks, composition notebooks, but they look old, overused, and part of Dean wants to grab one and read through it, but he knows better than to be disrespectful.

"I think you have me at a disadvantage then. Since you know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Oh," The boy grins with an awkward, hesitant smile, and quirks his glasses on his nose, drawing his shoulders in as he glances up at Dean, "-I'm Castiel. Castiel Novak."

"It's nice to meet you, Castiel. Mind if I just say Cas? Y'know, cause Castiel is too big. And I mean, I don't know, I just–"

"You like using single syllable words as nicknames. I noticed."

"Hm?"

"Just now, a while ago," Castiel starts, blue eyes meeting Dean's with a soft blush, "-you're brother, Samuel, and my friend from Robotics club, you called him Sam. Benjamin Lafitte, over there, you call him Ben, even though everyone else settles for Benny. Your other team member, the one you were passing the ball to, Victor, you call him Vic. So naturally, you must have some sort of weird attachment to reducing people's names to a single syllable. Of course, I admit, it provides much more ease, and it goes with the right flow of a sentence."

Dean falters. His lips hang open, his eyes are wide, and he's staring at the guy, Castiel, like a complete idiot.

He's also kinda' in love with him.

"Erm, sure, you can call me Cas. Heh."

Castiel smiles, and looks away, once again nibbling on his plump bottom lip with his eyebrows furrowed, and Dean feels a warmth unravel in his chest.

"Right, Cas. Whatcha' got there? Y'know, people generally come here to do... more inappropriate stuff."

Castiel's eyes go wide, and he freezes.

"Erm, what do you mean?"

"I mean, y'know, people they uh," alright, why am I of all people blushing like a goddamn baby right now, "-they uh, make out, get railed, y'know, high school shit."

"Ah. Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm not here to make out."

Castiel yelps, almost offended as he looks up at Dean. In response, Dean can only chuckle.

"Naw, you don't look like you have anyone to make out with either."

"You're here."

Castiel points out, and Dean gulps, trying to push away the image his mind brings to him in an instant, of the young, dark-haired boy disheveled and pink under Dean.

"No, I mean, as in, a girlfriend. Or boyfriends. Not me. Not strangers."

"Ah, right."

An odd, weird sort of silence ensues between them, before Dean silently reaches out and grabs one of the notebooks. He thumbs through the pages before flipping it open right in the middle. To his surprise, there's some bizarre, mad-scientist-esque equations and theories written in there, dotting almost every inch of the page, with random scribbles, random doodles, random words and–

"Hey," Castiel scolds, pulling the book out of Dean's hands.

"Easy tiger, not like I understand any of that chicken shit, and even if I did, trust me, I wouldn't steal your theories Einstein."

Castiel blushes, a soft, pink hue on his cheeks, and somehow, Dean wants to touch the warmth on his skin. He holds himself back though, but can't help staring at the boy in front of him.

"They're not– I'm not– it's just– argh–"

"Woah, what's wrong?"

Dean asks, scooting closer, and he slips an arm behind the boy to stretch his torso a bit.

"It's just... I've been working on this equation for days now. And it's just. Look, I'm trying to calculate a kick. Y'know, to a football. So, basically," Castiel shifts closer, unwittingly pressing into Dean's arms, and it sends a spurt of warmth unfurling within Dean's chest as the boy groans, and points over to the field.

"See, I'm assuming that's a constant position, and I'm assuming the average velocity of the ball, with your average kicking speed, but somehow, I can't manage to figure out where I'm going wrong with the, with the, with the, ugh."

Castiel sighs, and slumps back against Dean's shoulder, his lips turned down in a small pout, and some how, Dean can't help the small grin tugging at his lips.

Yup, Dean is kinda' in love.

"Look man, I'm not–"

"Of course."

Castiel pipes up, eyes going wide, as he rises, and stares down at the field. It seems like his Eureka moment, if Dean's being honest, and he can't help how adorable he finds the boy's excited grin. Castiel turns with a jerk, almost falls into Dean's lap, and before Dean knows it, he's being dragged onto the football field, and only when Castiel pauses, he turns to Dean.

"You stand right here, no moving."

Dean furrows his eyebrows, his face heating up when he catches Benny and Vic staring at him with a weird expression, not to mention the strange look Lisa Braeden and her band of girls is giving him from across the field. But then, Castiel is running back to him, a notebook in his hands, and he's mumbling something to himself.

"... velocity... thrice divided... speed... Got it."

Bright blue eyes meet Dean's for a moment, before Castiel slips under his arm, nudging him until he's leaning back, crouching down to measure something between his thigh and the ground, and Dean can only pretend he has any semblance of an idea of what Castiel is doing, but the boy just... he just looks so damn cute.

Dean is pretty in love with him.

"Got it. Got it. Got it!"

Castiel yells, gaping at his notebook, before he laughs, loud and rumbly, and flings his arms around Dean.

One moment Dean's standing frozen to the ground, the next moment Castiel Novak is hugging the life out of him.

Dean trips on his ankle, struck by Castiel's sudden weight on him, and both boys go stumbling down with a grunt, Castiel's notebook falling beside them with a thud. All at once, there is a puff of soft, warm breath on his face, and big, blue eyes staring down at him.

Dean is in love.

Tiny, soft hands press into Dean's chest as Castiel jolts up, his legs straddling Dean's hips. Dean sucks in a breath and pushes himself up until he's sitting on the mud, his eyes lost within Castiel's. Castiel simply smiles, clears his throat and blinks in confusion. Castiel's glasses are set awry on his nose, and as endearing as he looks, somehow, Dean gives in to his urge to reach up and fix them, only to be fixed with a gentle, dazed stare.

"Dean."

"Cas."

Dean gulps, and finds his hands sliding around Castiel's hips. As if the mere touch or Dean's skin burns, Castiel blushes, and pulls his hands off Dean's chest.

"Sorry, erm, sorry, I didn't mean to, uh–"

"Hey Cas?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

Castiel's jaw drops open, and all he can do is gape at Dean.

"What?" He croaks.

"Too late," Dean breathes, hands reaching up to cup Castiel's face, "-I think already am."

[fancat-not-fangirl]

It’s Not You Pt.6

a/n: happy mishapocalypse, you guys! I finally finished chapter 6, and it’s a bit longer than the others ones (whoops I got too carried away)

enjoy :)

Dean couldn’t for the life of him understand how the hell this freshman was so damn cute. His hair was so (Dean couldn’t believe he was using the word) voluminous. It bounced at every step, and Dean couldn’t keep his eyes off it. Oh how he wanted to run his hands through it. He could almost feel the silky strands between his fingers. And speaking of eyes, it was like every color blue had been combined, glazed, and inserted into Cas’s cute face. A face that lit up like the sun whenever someone passing by in the halls would say hi to it. A face that looked down and blushed whenever it caught Dean looking at it. A face that was so round and sweet and perfect-

Jesus Christ. Dean realized that he sounded like a schoolgirl with a crush. Exactly like the ones Dean would see on crappy TV shows, ones that would doodle all over their notebooks, drawing little hearts and rainbows all over their crush’s name. Dean suddenly wondered if Cas ever had any crushes. If he ever sat down in math class and doodled the name of his soulmate on the cover of his notebook. Dean mentally shook himself for not asking Sam what the imprint on Cas’s wrist was. Then rethinking it, Dean instead mentally pat himself on the back, because that would have been too obvious. In fact, he was being a bit too obvious now, glancing to his left every few seconds, where he and the incredibly cute freshman would lock eyes and look away, blushing, only to repeat the process a few moments later.

All the while, though, an oblivious Sam was leading them through the halls. Making a left turn here, turning right there, navigating the maze of classrooms and hallways. He’d point to something they’d be passing by and start explaining, or stop them at one classroom or another and launch into a story. But Dean couldn’t concentrate. All he saw were those blue eyes and bouncy hair, along with the extremely adorably flustered looks Cas kept sending him. Sam was (thankfully) blind to the entire affair. He acted like nothing was wrong, and moved to say hello to friends, wave to teachers, and keep up a steady string of words that didn’t make any sense to Dean. 

He had now led the group outside, right to the tree Dean noticed on his way into the building not so long ago. His eyes lit up as he attempted to reenact Cas’s daring crusade to save the cat, only earning himself a few laughs from Dean and the surrounding students and an incredibly embarrassed look from Cas. Dean didn’t know how this creature managed to look so flustered and cute at the same time. Again, Dean found himself wondering about the freshman’s soulmate. Had they met? Did Cas know who his soulmate was? And then there was a lingering thought in the back of Dean’s mind that was, was Cas’s soulmate a girl? 

Too wrapped up in his thoughts, Dean didn’t even notice when his name was called by Bobby, who had walked out of the school and immediately made a beeline towards the Winchesters, pulling Dean into a rough embrace. The movement shocked Dean out of his schoolgirl thoughts, and he had to remember where he was for a moment. By the time he actually realized that Bobby was talking, he had missed nearly everything the older student had said. With both Sam and Bobby looking at him expectedly, Dean figured that the best thing would be to nod and agree. 

Bobby barked out a laugh. “Well I never! Dean ‘You Touch My Car And Die’ Winchester is tired of taking care of his one and only favorite thing in the entire world? I thought I’d never see the day that-”

“I’m sorry what? My car?” The blank eyed stare that Dean gave the others must really have been fucking clueless, because Sam and Bobby immediatly starting cracking up. Still incredibly confused, Dean risked a glance to Cas, who also looked like he had no idea what was going on.

“You sure know how to mess with me, idjit.” Bobby clapped him on the shoulder, preventing any more mooning over Cas. He nodded at the boys and proceeded to shoulder the bag he was carrying, striding past them and towards his pickup truck.

“Dean? Hey Dean?”

“Hmm? You say something?”

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother. “Bobby said he was going to get lunch and I asked you if you wanted to eat, too.”

“Sure. Yeah. Go eat.” Sam gave him a look. Crap. Sam definitely knows something’s up.

Thankfully the food trucks standing outside the college weren’t far from the front of the school, making the walk there short and not as awkward as it could have been. Dean’s mind was taken off of Cas the moment he saw the dozens of food trucks lined up, and he gaped at the enormous food selection. There was a salad truck (that Dean knew Sam probably almost lived in), a taco truck, a sandwich truck, a sushi truck, and AHA! Immediately starting for the burger truck, Dean then proceeded to visit almost every one, getting himself a bit of everything. He found his way to the table on the lawn that Sam and Cas claimed, and Sam laughed at the immense amount of food being precariously juggled by his brother. Dean doubled back and secured himself a slice of apple pie, half of which was gone by the time he made it to the table again. 

Sitting himself down with a content sigh, Dean started attacking his hoard, alternating between the tacos and burgers. Sam was staring at him in horror, probably trying to comprehend how his brother managed to inhale so much food without choking. Cas was still averting his eyes, not that Dean noticed, because he totally wasn’t staring at the freshman even while eating. 

“So, Dean.” Dean turned his gaze onto his brother, and before Sam could say anything else, mumbled through a mouthful of food, “How can you still eat that rabbit food, Sammy? I’m surprised you’re not green all over from the amount of grass you consume on a daily basis.”

Sam looked afronted at the thought of his beloved salad being referred to as ‘grass.’ Glaring at Dean, he shot back, “I’m surprised you’re not dead from the amount of fat you consume.” Dean snorted, and picked up his burger, biting into it slowly and closing his eyes in content, trying to get another huff out of Sam. He was successful, and his grin widened when he saw Cas’s smile out of the corner of his eye. Sam started talking again, and Dean made sure to pay attention this time, not wanting to repeat the incident with Bobby. 

“So, what I was going to say before you interrupted me was, how’s your job? Is it still as a bartender, or did you get fired?” Sam smirked. “Again.”

Making a face at his brother, Dean replied, “It wasn’t my fault this time-” Sam laughed and raised his eyebrow in skepticism. “It really wasn’t!” Dean insisted. “There was this bar fight between these two guys. They were brawling over who got to kiss this hot chick, and I mean HOT, Sammy. Don’t you give me that look. She was. Honest. So. Being the chivalrous, charming, prince to the rescue guy I am, I may or may not have jumped in to defend her honor, getting myself fired in the process.”

Sam barked out a laugh and rolled his eyes again. Dean noticed that Cas had lowered his gaze and was staring into his plate. He tried not to be dissapointed.

“And now?” Sam prompted.

Dean sighed. “Now I got myself a crappy job as a mechanic at some random repair shop. The pay sucks and the people are fucking rude, but hey, I get by.”

Sam smiled sadly and admitted in a quiet voice, “Can’t you get a job closer to campus?” Oh Dean had thought about it before, he really did, because of how much he missed his younger brother. But he never acted on it, worried that he’d seem too overbearing. Noticing Cas intently listening to the brothers, Dean realized that he might just rethink his choice to work away from Sam.

But it’s not like Dean could have admitted all of that to Sam, instead going for an affectionate insult. “You know, Sam, I do have to take a break from your face once in a while.” The comment made Sam smile, and Dean smiled back. He turned back to his pie and suddenly heard a quiet voice from his left.

“Your eyes are so green.”

Dean froze, pie halfway to his mouth. His eyes snapped to Cas, whose entire face went beet red when he realized that he said it out loud. Not knowing what to say, Dean just stared. He was saved by Sam, who obviously didn’t hear what the freshman said. Sam had looked up and noticed Dean staring, causing him to also turn his head towards his roommate.

“Did you say something, Cas?” Cas blushed even more furiously and cleared his throat, getting up.

“I said I had to go to the bathroom.” He mumbled, and left the table to go back inside. Dean watched him leave and his heart sank. Sam, on the other hand, just shrugged and went back to eating his salad. 

Poking at his pie, Dean couldn’t find it in himself to eat. With Cas gone, even for a few minutes, Dean didn’t know where to look. There weren’t any sky blue eyes for him to watch, or bouncy black hair to stare at. No cute little nose, or rosy cheeks, or-

“Dean, I swear, something's bothering you today!” For the hundredth time that day, Dean was jolted from his thoughts and/or daydreams about Cas. 

“No. Nothing’s bothering me.” The bitch face Sam gave him put all of his previous bitch faces to shame. “Nothing except for the job at the mechanic’s crap shop. Have I mentioned what a douche my boss is?” Not looking completely convinced, Sam went back to his food.

After a while, Dean decided that he just had to know. Screw Sam and his opinions. So, obviously in the most casual manner possible, Dean cleared his throat and blurted, “Has Cas told you his soulmate’s name?”

Of all the things Dean was expecting, (a suspicious glare, a laugh, no answer at all, maybe), what he certainly wasn’t expecting was a blush. Sam ‘Don’t Call Me Sammy Because I’m A Big Boy’ Winchester blushed like a girl and squirmed in his seat. The mumbled “I don’t know” was said entirely too quickly and quietly, and Dean was about to start pestering him about it, but at that moment, Cas came back. He had with him in tow an even shorter person, but one who was obviously older and related to the (super cute) freshman. Dean saw Sam freeze and lower his fork.

With a flustered grin, Cas gestured to the newcomer and quietly proclaimed, “Hey guys, this is Gabriel. My older brother.” The short dude- Gabriel, Dean reminded himself, stepped forward and reached out a hand to Dean, smiling devilishly.

“Sup, broheim. Do you happen to be Cassy Pie’s roommate, or his roommate's brother that he won’t shut up about?”

Oh?

“Gabe.” Cas hissed. His brother put his hands up in mock surrender. Seeing Dean's face, he winked at Cas and whispered, “Ah, so it’s probably the brother.” Stepping around Dean, he stretched his hand out to Sam next, who was still frozen. “That means that you must be the roommate.” 

Sam’s dumbstruck face was the epitome of shock, and Dean tried to keep himself from laughing. His brother slowly reached out and shook Gabriel’s hand. They stayed like that for an uncomfortable while, until suddenly Sam stood up and declared that Gabe hadn’t yet seen the campus, and that he needed a tour. Right now. 

Abandoning his salad, Sam flew off with Gabe, leaving Dean alone with Cas. 

He was screwed.

[afictionalpotato]

Cookies

Jack x reader

Warnings: none, it's just fluff and excessive cookies

A/N: This is just something that's been in my head all week and I thought I'd share since it's Jack's birthday and cause I just love him. I also had no idea what to call it. It's nothing fancy, but it makes me smile.

___________________

Jack happened to be passing the kitchen when he heard you banging around and peeked in to see what was up. You were on the counter, or rather, about to fall off the counter as you tried to reach the flour on the top shelf in the cupboard(where Sam had put it, because he didn't seem to understand that you weren't a fricking giant like him and thus couldn't reach that high. Or maybe he did know and he just liked messing with you)

"Need a hand?" He asked, as he quickly came to help you regain your balance and get down.

"Yes, please. " you sighed with a slight laugh. As he turned to retrieve the flour, you quickly added, "while you're in there, could you grab the sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg too? "

He laughed. "What are you making?"

"Thumbprint cookies!" You exclaimed, a large grin spreading across your face and instantly causing a duplicate response on his. Your contagious enthusiasm was one of his favorite things about you. It didn't matter if you were just going on a supply run or sneaking him out to go see the new Avengers movie(for the fourth time, but who's counting), whatever you did, you did it with your whole heart, and he loved that.

You started to grab a measuring cup, but paused looking back at him, grin still on your face.

"Wanna help?"

"Is it ok?" He asked, very much wanting to stay and be around you, but not wanting to be a annoyance.

"Sure, it'll be fun!"

You showed him how to measure out the dry ingredients into the stand mixer, and went to grab the eggs.

"You can go ahead and mix those together a bit if you want, but don't turn on th-" you stopped short as your warning came too late. Jack had flipped the switch on the mixer, causing a thick white cloud of flour to engulf him.

After a few seconds, the haze faded enough for him to come into veiw. Covered head to toe in powder, he looked like a chalky ghost.

"Are you ok?"you asked, trying to hold back a giggle .

"I think so." He answered, a small cough causing a new mini cloud to float up around him, and causing both of you to burst out laughing.

After dusting off Jack and replacing what had flown out of the mixer, the feast of the afternoon went quite peacefully. You taught him how to make the 'thumbprint' holes into dough while you filled them with jam. He helped clean up while they were in the oven, and you made tea for both of you and talked while you waited for them to cool.

"So what is your favorite kind of cookie?" You asked.

He thought for a moment. "I'm not sure, I like chocolate chip, and oreos, but those are the only ones I think I've had."

You froze, mug halfway to you mouth. "Seriously?"

He nodded.

"Oh, we're fixing that." You got up, grabbing a notepad and handing him one of the cookies. "We're gonna make a list of every cookie we can think of, and we're gonna make 'em."

For several months after that, it was rare for the two of you to go more than a week without trying a new recipe. Peanut butter, m&ms, and snicker doodles were among Jacks favorites, oatmeal not so much(though you and Sam loved them) and gingerbread was a big nope. Lumps of coal were good(and Dean's favorite) but he and cas didn't quite get the humor of their name. It might sound like a lot of baked goods, but between three very hungry 'boys', you and a Angel whose curiosity often got the better of him, each batch seldom lasted more than a day or two.

More than the sweets, Jack loved getting to spend time as just the two of you. You had always been so kind and patient with him, and as weeks passed he felt more and more connected to you. You celebrated together when you finally managed sugar cookies that weren't hard as rocks. He had helped put out the fire that had somehow ignited when you 'tried' to make macaroons(y'all still don't know what happened, but you had to buy new baking pans because the dough had basically welded onto the old ones). You taught him frostings & icings and how to decorate with them. The more time you spent together, the more he realized he loved you,he just didn't know how to tell you; but as your birthday neared, he came up with an idea.

That morning when you walked into the kitchen, your eye was drawn to the bright blue card sat next to a plate of cookies. As you went to investigate you realized they weren't just any cookies, they were your favorite honey cookies. Each one was carefully decorated with tiny frosting honeybees(because you loved them) and flowers, and one on top had the slightly shaky lettering 'bee mine'.

Your eyes misted over with tears at the obvious amount of care and effort that he had put into these. He must have been up half the night to do this without you catching him.

Blinking furiously to try and clear your vision, you picked up the card.

'Happy Birthday to the Sweetest person in the world.' The front read in glittery letters. Inside was Jack's soft slanted writing.

'You've given me so much, there aren't words capable of expressing how much you mean to me.

I love you so much.

Jack.'

"Do you like it?"

You whirled around at the sound of his voice and crushed him into a hug.

"I love it" you whispered, "and I love you"

Tags: @marvelismylife

[jupiterjames]

*steeples fingers, looks over glasses* Vampire and Ghost. Destiel oBvIoUsLy

*puts on glasses, cracks knuckles*

“Go away,” Dean says.

“No,” Castiel answers.

“I have salt,” Dean says.

“That’ll buy you an hour, and I’ll only come back singing show tunes,” Castiel answers.

Dean sighs. He knows Castiel is telling the truth.

Castiel sighs. He hates singing show tunes.

“Go away,” Dean says again.

“I have eternity to learn every single musical ever made,” Castiel answers.

Dean scrubs both hands over his face. He groans. “I’m sorry I bled you dry, okay? I’m sorry, now please go rest in peace. Or. Whatever it is you people who can actually die do.”

“You can die,” Castiel reminds him flippantly. He saunters into the motel’s bathroom, glad that he’s no longer concerned with germs and dirt since he’s dead. He leans over Dean’s shoulder and blows gently onto the mirror. It crackles over with a thin sheet of ice.

Dean shivers at the proximity of icy breath and cold death. “Dude.”

Castiel draws a smiley face with fangs with the tip of his finger in the ice. It’s no better than a preschooler’s doodle. “That’s what you look like, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Vampires have a reflection, dipshit,” Dean snaps.

“Ghosts do, too,” Castiel muses, doodling one next to the face. It looks like a melting marshmallow. He just doesn’t like looking at himself now that he’s dead.

Dean pushes back from the sink harshly to lean against the far wall. It looks very unsanitary, but apparently vampires don’t have to worry about dirt, either. “What am I supposed to do that’ll make this right?”

Castiel perches on the lip of the sink, legs swinging. “Why haven’t you burned my bones?”

“I don’t know where they are,” he mutters.

Castiel’s hauntingly crystalline eyes narrow. “Yes, you do. You’re a terrible liar.”

“I’m a kickass liar,” Dean counters. “That’s why no one knows I’m a fucking vampire.”

“You are a good liar,” Castiel admits. “I watched you bury me. It’s a nice spot you chose, so thank you for that. I suppose. You could have just dumped me somewhere. No one would have looked for me.”

Dean grimaces. “Cas, come on,” he says softly.

“It’s true,” Castiel says mildly. “I only had you. You were the only one who cared.”

“And I fucking ate you!” Dean yells.

“I let you,” Castiel says.

“You never wanted me to kill you,” Dean says bitterly. “And I didn’t wanna kill you.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. He steps down off the sink and approaches Dean. It takes two steps. “You didn’t kill me,” he says firmly. “Your nest did. And then you killed them. You avenged me. That was a loving thing to do.”

“Then why are you still here?” Dean demands. “Why didn’t you go into the light, or whatever?”

“Because you weren’t dead.” He says it so easily. Like it’s so easy. “I’m not going anywhere without you. I believe I told you that ages ago. Before all this.”

Pained, Dean says, “even... even if I could die, we wouldn’t go to the same place.”

“Then I’m staying,” Castiel says. It sounds awfully final.

“What if you go vengeful?” Dean argues.

Castiel shrugs. “Then you can burn my bones. I won’t care then, anyway. Can we please stop arguing about this? We have this conversation every time and I’d rather not for the rest of eternity.”

Dean puffs a breath and slinks into the bedroom. The blackout curtains are drawn and he’s duct taped the edges so that no light leaks through. “What’d you rather do?” he asks tiredly.

Perking right up now that he’s gotten his way, Castiel flops down on the bed. “Did you know that ghosts can possess people?”

Dean flops down beside him. “Yeah, I knew that.”

“Good, because there’s something I wanna do.”

Dean side eyes him. “Going vengeful already?”

Castiel reaches up and touches two fingers to Dean’s forehead, making him shiver again. “Only if you don’t like my idea. I just thought... I...” For the first time since he died, he sounds unsure.

Interest piqued, Dean tilts his head a little in silent encouragement.

“The only thing that sucks about being a ghost is that I can’t touch you. That we can’t do anything to each other anymore. Y’know. Fun stuff. But... if I possessed you...”

Dean flashes a grin. “What are ya waiting for, then? Get on in here. My dick’s been collecting dust!”

Castiel scowls, but sits up properly. “It says a lot that I’m still willing to have sex with you after that, but I am. Are you ready?”

Dean shuts his eyes. Tilts up his chin. “I’m glad you’re still here with me, Cas.”

The last he hears Castiel say in his own voice for several hours is, “same here.”

[monsters-demons-and-ai-oh-my]

What We Lost and What We Have:

Chapter 6:  Sock puppets, stomachaches, and what you really learn in college

In which we meet a very strange nurse, talk about teen drug use and the plot thickens.

TW: Conversations about recreational drugs, questions about suicidal intentions, and brief mention of throwing up

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AU somewhat inspired by Episode 2x20 - What Is and What Should Never Be, and the season 14 storyline concerning Jack’s illness.

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AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

Complete Tumblr Chapter List

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Sam and Dean both decided to give the Kline’s a little space after after the incident with Jack’s lunch tray. Ironically both brothers using the excuse that they hadn’t had anything to eat since they arrived early that morning.

Jack seemed on the verge of mortified tears afterward and for selfish reasons or not neither wanted to be the one to push him over the edge.

The kid was already embarrassed enough.

The doctor had told the brothers (much to Dean’s chagrin) that at least one of them should come back in later that evening as they had a few more background questions for all of them once Jack had a chance to rest.

There was only so much the doctor was willing to do when they still didn’t know what was causing Jack’s symptoms but when Jack’s nausea refused to fade and several more bouts dry heaving literally drove Jack to tears they finally gave him anti-nausea drugs that had the added benefit of finally putting him back to sleep.

Getting a few hours of rest (plus something new the doctor gave him via IV to help with the fact he hadn’t eaten for a day and a half) seemed to perk Jack up a bit. At the very least Jack seemed a lot more calm when he woke up around three hours later.

Though, that could have also been the low dose of narcotic painkillers doctor Hannah also decided to give despite the risks when Jack’s stomach pain was bad enough to cause his heart rate to skyrocket.

It wasn’t enough narcotics to make Jack start accusing innocent staff members of being out to suck his blood again, but it was enough to render him quiet and subdued… and not at all like the Jack Castiel knew.

-

‘He could only watch and try to comfort Jack as he got sick and then hugged his stomach, literally crying with the pain the action caused him…’

-

A quiet Jack was better than a sobbing Jack, but it still terrified Cas.

It threw him back to sixteen years previously when Jack was first born, made him feel like he was failing Kelly all over again…

He remembered when Jack was four and a half and afraid of long clawed demons under his bed. ( strangely specific child that he was ) Then Castiel could consol him and promise to protect him from any monsters .

When Jack was seven and John died and Jack tried to run away from home, ( only getting so far as the neighbor down the street who lured him in with cookies and called Castiel ) he’d been able to reassure the traumatized boy that his parents and the people around him didn’t die because he was close to them.

-

“...you’re not cursed Jack, I promise… and I’m not planning on leaving you alone any time soon.”

-

But this…

Castiel couldn’t promise everything would be okay, he didn’t know how to fix this, he didn’t even know what this was…

Every little twitch Jack gave in his sleep, every harsh intake of breath was like an electric jolt to Cas’s heart, terrifying him that Jack would start seizing again.

By the time that Jack was awake again and Cas was able to call the Winchester’s back in he was thirty-six hours without sleep and felt on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“Med student party here yet?” Cas heard the now unfortunately familiar voice of Dean Winchester over his shoulder.

“No…” Cas said dully, hand tightening over Jack’s as he broke into another fit of harsh wheezy coughs.

-

‘The antibiotics either weren’t helping the pneumonia or were taking far too long to kick in for comfort.’

-

“I...I don’t really feel up to p-party,” Jack muttered with a tiny wry smile.

“You feeling any better buddy?” Sam’s voice was a little more tolerable.

“They gave me more drugs?” Jack said bluntly, perhaps the amount of pain meds he was given was still enough to make the teenager a more aloof if not completely loopy.

As scared as Jack must be Cas didn’t have it in him for him to be upset with Jack being a little… high, as it were.

-

‘Anything to keep away the horrible tears of pain.’

-

“They’re waiting for me to let them know you’re here…” Cas explained quickly to the brothers reaching for the nurse call button and using the moment to compose himself.

“I thought we were done with all the questions?” Dean sighed pacing by the window like nervous rather unimpressive tomcat not looking at anyone.

“Well apparently they didn’t get what they needed last time.” Cas tried not to think that more questions meant the doctors were at a loss with what answers they did get.

“It probably had something to do with you ‘scaring the crap’ out of the person who was recording them…” Cas glared choosing to believe that instead.

Dean’s eyes narrowed for a moment and he opened his mouth as if to say something scathing but Sam surprised Castiel by speaking up.

“Well whatever the reason pointing fingers won’t help anyone,” Sam said taking Dean’s old spot by the far end of the bed. It seemed like while Sam was rendered relatively unable to function when it came to Jack that same reservations did not stand for confronting his argumentative older brother or Castiel.

“So how about this time we all sit down, and shut up, and get this over with and then neither of you will have to see each other again if you don’t want to…” Sam said with an air of aggressive calm, folded his hands in his lap.

Jack eyes seemed to dart between each one of them tense and nervous, clutching at the sheets without a word.

Castiel felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

He and Dean took their seats… quietly.

They sat awkwardly like two children who’d just been chewed out by the principal until the silence was broken by a knock on the door.

Well… a series of knocks… to the tune of… Yankee Doodle?

Jack’s eyes darted between his uncle and the door like he wasn’t sure if he actually heard what he thought he heard or if the drugs were just kicking in.

“Come in?” Castiel said hesitantly.

The door opened and in stepped not the nervous med student, but another more suspicious looking individual.

Another… nurse?

“Hello,” said the strange skinny man in seemingly oversized giraffe print scrubs. He had a smile about as appropriate for the tense atmosphere as sunbather in a snowstorm, “My name is Garth but you can call me nurse Fitzgerald and I’m here to help Jack and you all with a patient history today.”

Dean shot Sam a confused look that was ignored.

“What happened to the other g-guy?” Jack hacked into the back of his hand, looking wary of having yet another stranger in his room.

"Well, Kevin was having a bit of a hard time, so the head nurse wanted someone with a bit more experience to finish it,” Nurse Fitz-… Garth shrugged the left sleeve of his scrubs dangerously close to sliding off his narrow shoulder, “they send me in when things get a little hinky,"

"Hinky?" Castiel's eyebrows rose.

"Well I say hinky," Garth smiled, "I think it's a much nicer word than the one nurse Master's used... that I won't use in front of a child.

The child in the room looked mildly offended.

"Or what was written on the chart," he picked up Jack’s chart clipboard off the end of the bed and flicked it significantly, “which is… ''disorderly"."

Dean scoffed, "Please, we weren't "disorderly”,” he drew quotation marks in the air.

The strange skinny man just continued to smile shrugging, "okay well you made poor Kevin cry in the on-call room so I wouldn't exactly call that "functional behavior"."

Dean’s mouth opened looking defensive but for a second time the words were lost behind an interruption.

“Sorry…” Jack said quietly, clearing his throat, “they… they mean well… I think…”

“We should… probably apologize to this Kevin though…” Castiel said sheepishly.

“Probably…” Dean muttered noncommittally refusing to look at Castiel.

“What’s that?” Sam spoke up suddenly sounding confused, everyone turning to see at what he pointing at.

I appeared to be a strange looking… sock with lips? hanging of Nurse Garth’s scrubs pocket.

“Oh him?” the nurse pulled the object out his pocket smiling at it fondly before slipping it over one hand, “This… is Mr. Fizzles.”

He opened and closed the sock puppet’s mouth in Jack’s general direction as the boy looked on warily pressed against his pillows.

“A lot of kids find a friend easier to talk to than a stranger, especially when in a big scary place like the hospital.”

He looked at Jack expectantly.

“I...I think I’ll pass…” the teenager said turning a little pink.

Garth seemed mildly disappointed but shrugged and surreptitiously tucked the sock back in his pocket picking back up the chart.

“Well Kevin’s handwriting started getting illegible at… drugs…” he looked up expectantly at Castiel’s affronted face.

“He had a tablet of ibuprofen about seven hours before the seizure and then a second four hours later, but no Jack does not do drugs,” Castiel said flatly.

“I think… he was asking Jack…” Sam said carefully watching Jack who was refusing to look back, scratching at the adhesive over the line in his arm.

“I don’t… do drugs…” Jack said quietly.

Castiel gave nurse Garth a satisfied “see” look.

“But there was… this one time,” Jack coughed sheepishly.

Everyone was suddenly staring at Jack who seemed to be trying to disappear into his hospital mattress.

“Jack…” Cas’s heart sunk more disappointed than angry, he didn’t have a chance to ask why before Jack cut him off seeming desperate to explain.

“It… it was just one time… Noah offered me a hit?” his eyebrows drew together and he looked unsure at the terminology, “of a joint he had?”

Dean gave an impressive little huff earning him a dirty look from Cas.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t go to college…” Dean shrugged, shooting Sam a knowing smile he refused to return.

“It was just the one time though!” Jack said quickly looking at Cas pleadingly, “It was really, really gross and… and I never did it again!”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Castiel asked exasperated, trying not to show Sam or Dean how hurt he was. What made it worse was he knew how stereotypical it was for a parent to think their teenager would never lie to them. Half the parent teacher conferences he had to call at the high school were dealing with people under such delusions.

“I… I didn’t want to get Noah in trouble…” Jack mumbled biting his lip and refusing to look Cas in the eye.

“Noah?” Castiel mentally ran over his shortlist of acquaintances Jack talked about and came up empty. “Wait… Noah Ophis?” Castiel felt completely at a loss when Jack’s blush seemed to confirm it, “Jack… wasn’t Noah the one who locked you in the school gym’s weight room and then stuck gum in the lock so we had to call maintenance to disassemble the door to get you out?”

“It… was never confirmed…” Jack muttered turning brighter red glancing back between his older brothers as if expecting them to laugh.

“How long ago did you ‘get silly with Mary Jane’?” Garth broke in on the tense moment seeming unbothered.

Jack looked extremely confused for a long moment, “Six… months ago?”

Garth wrote that down, “well it’s probably not that then, the devil’s lettuce only lasts like… a few hours, unless you snort it that’s worse...”

Castiel really did not believe that was an actual way people consumed marajauna… he had gone to college after all.

Cas suppressed the need to start in on a long speech about peer pressure, lying, and the dangers of underage recreational drug use (especially when you didn’t know the source), but now was not the time, not now with as Jack as sick as he was. He would be taking advantage of a secret Jack only willingly told because he was scared for his own safety, and Jack’s health might rely on him being honest with his doctors.

Though Cas was relieved when the next question was, just “Do you have any animal friends?”

-

He felt his confidence as a surrogate parent had taken enough of a hit for the moment.

-

“Well… I have Felix… but I don’t know if he thinks of me as a friend, I’ve read their brains can’t really process that sort of thing?” Jack’s eyebrows furrowed in thought.

Sam’s eyebrows rose nearly to his hairline.

Maybe the drugs had a stronger effect on Jack than Castiel first realized.

“What is Felix?” Sam looked completely at a loss.

Jack blinked, “A corn snake,” he said like it should be obvious.

Dean seemed to recoil slightly and then snorted, a very, “of course I’m going to judge the character of a kid I don’t know based on the fact he keeps a snake…” noise.

That was a big mistake… Castiel knew Jack was fairly shy but he’d been on the wrong end of one of Jack’s, “I must defend the honor of snakes everywhere,” speeches before when the Jack was first trying to convince his uncle to let him keep Felix.

“Felix is really great!” he insisted, probably louder than he should have judging by the short fit of coughs that followed. He cleared his throat before croaking, “N-not only do corn snakes eat d-disease carrying pests, they're really gentle, and they’re easy to breed in captivity, and they’re from the US so they... they don’t c-contribute to the… the e-exotic pet trade…”

Castiel remembered vividly Jack showing up in his classroom clutching a shoe box the day before winter break, nervous but determined. He’d gone into a spiel about how a boy had brought the snake to the lunch room to show it off but the boy was planning to kill it at the end of the day with a rock because he thought it was ‘kinder’.

“He said he couldn’t get it to eat, but! he only tried one thing and... and you can’t let him do that, he doesn’t deserve that…”

He’d practically begged Castiel to let him keep the snake, “even if it was just for a little while,” and then spent the next week researching and trying to feed it different things, bringing everything from bags of frozen mice to eggs and minnow into the house before he’d had success.

Cas remembered the huge grin on Jack’s face when he finally succeeded heard him whisper, “see you’re going to be okay now,” into Felix’s enclosure when he thought his uncle wasn’t watching.

Jack dissolved into another fit of coughing near the end of his snake rant, doubling up as Castiel laid a worried hand on his shoulder.

“Fine fine kid jeez…” Dean raised his hands in mock surrender, looking mildly alarmed, “I believe you, don’t lose a lung over it…”

“Snakes are great you’re just a mean,” Jack muttered breathily with one laugh hacking cough, sinking wearily back in his bed. The short bout of passion seemed to have taken a lot out of him.

“I don’t really like snakes, I’m sure they’re great but the way they look at me makes me nervous y'know?” Nurse Garth Gave a shiver, no one knew what he meant. “Also they can carry salmonella…”

The nurse spent the next half hour asking more questions of various degrees of embarrassment. Each answer the brother’s gave grew increasingly bored and each answer Jack gave getting softer as he grew increasingly drowsy.

Any energy Jack gained by resting seemed to run out of him like water through a sieve and soon he had fallen back asleep. Castiel knew seizures could take a lot out of a person but this? This felt different. He breathed deeply to calm himself down, told himself he never finished nursing school, let alone medical school like the doctor’s taking care of Jack.

-

‘He was in good hands…’

-

He carefully straightened Jack’s blankets, trying not to listen to the wheezy quality of Jack’s breathing even in sleep.

“Did you get all the answers you needed?” Castiel asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt and of the sleep the boy managed to get.

The nurse smiled looking a little too pleased with himself, “yup just about the entire thing, I don’t know what Kevin was upset about you all seem like very nice people.”

Dean looked up mildly guilt pulling his hand back from where he’d been trying to fish the sock puppet out of Garth’s pocket, while Sam hid his face in his hands. “Yeah… um… so it’s fine for us to take off now?”

-

‘Of course…’

-

Garth nodded satisfied, “yeah, visiting hours for everyone but parents are ending soon, and the kid looks like he’s had all the fun he can handle for today.”

Castiel just nodded in agreement trying not to seem to eager carefully fixing Jack’s mussed up hair, “I think he’s had enough of strangers for now…”

That was enough for Dean who left with one last indignant puff of air but Sam stayed back for a moment tettering as was his custom in the doorway.

“Call if something changes?” he asked, like he was half unsure he should say the words.

Cas offered a tight smile, “sure…”

-------------------------

Sam and Dean left for their home and hotel respectively the nurse leaving soon after to give Castiel and more importantly Jack some time to rest.

The nurses mostly let Jack be through the evening only coming in once or twice to record his vitals and give him more of the drugs the doctor prescribed earlier, Jack thankfully remained asleep during the visits.

He seemed mostly stable much to Cas’s relief though that could have just been due to the pain and nausea meds masking the worst of his symptoms. It wasn’t until Jack reached a full twenty-four hours without another seizure that Castiel finally let himself relax.

It wasn’t until much later, half past midnight that the doctor came in again.

Castiel had finally fallen asleep in a recliner chair one of the nurses graciously brought in when they realized he was staying with Jack for another night..

-

‘They’d explained it was standard practice for when a parent stayed with their child on the ward…’

-

He’d been woken rather unceremonious by doctor Hannah pulling a cumbersome looking machine into Jack’s room.

“What’s… What’s going on?” he asked dumbly rubbing at his face, the confusion quickly turning to alarm when he saw the look on the doctor’s face.

Her face was mostly calm, but her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth was pressed in a thin tense line.

“I… need you to wake up Jack…” she said something worrying in her calm voice Castiel couldn’t quite identify.

Castiel immediately began to panic head snapping up to the monitor of Jack’s vitals. Everything seemed the same, except the fever which had risen to an even hundred degrees.

“Is… What’s wrong?” He asked in as hushed a tone as he could manage.

The doctor gave him a reassuring smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“I just need to check something…” she said unhelpfully.

Castiel tried to breathe evenly and remain calm as he gently shook Jack’s shoulder.

-

‘What was so bad you’d wake a sick kid in the middle of the night?’

-

He gently shook Jack’s shoulder, calling his name, Jack barely moved, his eyes twitched and he let out a soft cough.

Castiel frowned shaking his shoulder a little more forcefully eliciting an unhappy groan from Jack as he rolled away as far as the tubing on his face would allow him.

-

‘At least it was confirmation he wasn’t comatose or something…’

-

“The painkillers he’s on can have a sedative effect,” she frowned, “it’s always best to try to wake someone up naturally but I did bring something if that doesn’t work.

She produced a set of keys from her pocket to unlock the set of rolling drawers the machine she brought was propped on top of.

“Wait,” Castiel quickly held up a hand, “there’s one thing I haven’t tried yet…” he leant down close to Jack’s ear, “Jack… come on you have to get up… we’re going to be late to school…”

Jack tensed up and groaned, “I… I don’t want to, I don’t feel good…” he grumbled face screwing up.

Cas huffed a sad laugh, gently ruffling his hair to keep him from falling back out, “I know Jack, but you still need to wake up.”

Jack finally blinked woefully up at him, “you said I didn’t have to go…” His croaked eyes wandered towards the window as he coughed to clear his throat, “it’s still dark out…” he muttered bewildered.

“I know, I know… you don’t have to go to school, you can go back to sleep... in a little bit?” Cas looked back toward the doctor who offered him another thin smile, neither confirming or denying.

“But doctor Hannah she needs to talk to us… for now, alright?” Castiel said still gently squeezing his shoulder...

Jack just blinked and nodded trustingly too tired to question it.

Doctor Hannah ducked down to his level whispering, “I’m going to turn on the lights now and I need you to roll on your side like before okay?”

Jack looked wary breath speeding up, “P-please don’t stick another needle in my back…”

“It’s okay Jack, I promise I’m not going to do that honey,” she said gently flipping on a switch and making everyone in the room wincing at the sudden brightness, “I just need to run an ultrasound on your back and abdomen…”

Jack looked even more confused, face morphing into mildly suspicion, “But… I can’t have babies?”

Doctor Hannah actually chucked, “No that’s not all we use ultrasound for, and that’s not what I’m looking for…”

“What are you looking for?” Castiel couldn’t hold himself back from asking, fidgeting in the recliner.

The doctor’s face dropped a little before she could stop it, “I’ll let you know if I see it, I… I don’t want to alarm you,”

Her eyes drifted back to Jack with an unspoken, ‘or him’ .

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed but he still did as he was told and the doctor guided him onto his side before pulling down the blanket to his waist and undoing the ties on the upper half of his hospital gown while he blushed pink.

When she carefully began to probed Jack’s back it became abundantly clear the medication didn’t completely numb his pain.

He barely held back a cry of pain between clenched teeth, reducing it to a strained groan, his whole body shaking.

Castiel reach for his hand which was clenched around the bed sheets. “It’s okay Jack… I’m here.”

“Th-that… that really hurts,” Jack mumbled tearfully.

“I know Jack I know…” the doctor said seemingly lost in thought

doing her best to move quickly through prep procedures for the ultrasound. Applying a plastic cover over the wand and spreading clear gel on a portion of his back.

Jack looked like he was trying not to scream when the doctor finally pressed the ultrasound wand into his back, teeth gritted together heart rate spiking.

The doctor’s eyes were fixed on the ultrasound screen beside the bed looking grim and Castiel wished not for the first time that he’d finished his degree so he’d know what she saw.

-

‘All he could do was hold Jack’s hand.’

-

“Shit…” he barely heard the doctor mutter as she set aside the wand and gingerly wiped away the gel on Jack’s back.

There were already already tears welling in Jack’s eyes when she had him turn back onto his back.

The doctor promised to be as quick and gentle as she could as she repeated the process with the upper part of Jack’s abdomen.

Jack was shaking and crying silently by the time it was over, and the doctor was if anything quieter.Terrifyingly lost in thought.

Castiel carefully helped him back into his gown, telling him softly that he did well and could go back to sleep soon.

Jack watched the doctor red eyed and wary gripping the blankets a little too tightly even as he wilted exhausted back against the bed.

The doctor waited until the teenager seemed to have calmed back down before speaking.

“Jack… I’m going to ask your uncle and you some questions and I need you to be as honest as possible, alright?”

The tone of doctor Hannah’s voice set off the already ringing alarm bells in Cas’s mind to a shrieking pitch.

Jack nodded cautiously, “O-okay…” he said shakily.

The doctor began pacing at the foot of his bed hands clasping anxiously at one another.

“You said Jack had a headache a few hours before he had a seizure at the restaurant and that you gave him ibuprofen for it, are you sure it was ibuprofen and not aspirin?”

Castiel blinked, “yes I’m sure I know better than to give a child aspirin, and I even remember the brand I bought, it was Advil…”

“It’s was a blue... package,” Jack said after a moment coughing into his elbow, exhaustion, and illness fogging his brain.

The doctor nodded and resumed her pacing, “and… how much did you give him?” she asked seeming careful about her phrasing.

“A lower dose, one tablet… and then another four hours later…” Castiel said suspiciously, “what is this about?”

The doctor hesitated, “did you see Jack take them both times?”

There was a long pause as Jack looked increasingly upset, “wh-what are you tr-trying to say?”

“What are you suggesting?” Castiel knew full well what she was asking but he couldn’t believe he’d heard it.

“I…” she paused and sighed, “I have to ask it’s very important.”

Jack seemed to understand despite everything, “I...I wouldn’t, I couldn’t d-do that I…” his breathing sped up.

“The first thing Jack asked about when he woke up was school and needing to take care of his pet? Does that really strike you as someone who would try to… to…” Cas paused, “to hurt themselves?”

“I… I was upset and sad after what happened but…” Jack’s forehead wrinkled again as his breathing grew more frantic and his heart rate rose with it, “I wouldn’t, I didn’t do that…” he muttered eyes pleading and filling back up with tears, “please believe me.”

“I know Jack… I do believe you,” Castiel reassured him gently squeezing his shoulder.

A thought dawned on Cas and he reached for his coat still hanging off the back of his chair, “he really physically couldn’t…”

Castiel pulled a small half crushed blue box from the pocket of the coat, “I didn’t even buy a bottle of pills they didn’t have any in the hotel commissary they only had it in a box of packets and there were only four pills to start with…”

-

‘The stupid box had cost a whole ten dollars regardless.’

-

He handed it over for the doctor to see, “and there’s still two left…”

The doctor looked in the box then checked the date on the bottom, but instead of looking relieved like Cas expected…”

She just looked... frustrated?

“Alright… I’m sorry, we had to rule that out as a possibility…” she sighed.

The apology did nothing to placate Jack, who just stared at her distrustfully tears running silently down his cheeks hugging himself still breathing too fast.

Castiel tried to resist the anger and resentment building up in his own chest he knew the doctor was just doing her job, but it was late and the already ill and drug addled Jack was not tolerating being woken in the middle of the night to be painfully prodded, cross examined, and accused of hurting himself very well.

He placed a protective hopefully comforting hand on Jack’s shoulder, “couldn’t you have just tested for a possible overdose in the blood samples you took instead of coming in here past midnight and harassing him?”

“If the problem was being caused by taking too much ibuprofen it would be important to find out and treat as soon as possible.”

“W-why?” Jack mumbled hunching forward red-eyed and shaking his breath coming out in uncomfortably fast puffs, “what… what’s wrong with me?”

He looked how Castiel felt, on the verge of panic.

“Jack, it’s alright I need you to calm down…” the doctor said looking warily between him and the vitals reading on the monitor.

-

‘That didn’t calm him down.’

-

“You… you don’t know d-do you?” Jack sobbed continuing to hyperventilate, heart beating about a mile a minute on the monitors, “y-you don’t…” he coughed, the developing panic attack not helping his already labored breathing, coughing soon turning to wheezing.

Castiel’s mouth became a thin anxious line as he wrapped a supportive  arm around his shoulders.

“Jack?”

The doctor moved quickly back over to the locked set of drawers retrieving a vial and injecting something into Jack’s IV line, “it’s alright it’s okay… just try to breathe deeply Jack…”

Jack tried, leaning on his uncle tears running down his face even when his breathing slowed and he relaxed as whatever drug the doctor gave him took effect.

The doctor and Castiel gently helped him lean back into his pillows as his eyes blinked blearily, “it’s alright… just rest now… you’re alright…”

She didn’t look like even she believed what she was saying as he drifted quickly back into unconsciousness the rise and fall of his chest slowly evening back out.

Castiel felt as if a live wire was clenched between his teeth.

“What happening to Jack?” he managed an impossibly calm tone.

The doctor sighed taking a moment to steal herself before answering. “Most of the tests we have back so far… they came back inconclusive… There was no sign of meningitis or encephalitis in his spinal fluid, no… conclusive signs of infection in his blood at all…”

“But,” Castiel said feeling miles away.

“But… between the blood taken when he was first admitted and a few hours ago, we’ve found a significant increase in his liver enzymes and protein levels and if… they don’t improve in the next few hours I want to look at transferring him to Kansas University hospital…”

Castiel felt like the ground was dropping from beneath him, “and… the pain, what you were testing for just now that was…”

The doctor paused for an even longer moment before answering, “Jack’s liver and kidneys… are showing signs of inflammation… and the blood tests results are signs they’re starting to lose function…”

-

‘Failing… she meant they were beginning to fail’

-

“And you don’t know why…” Castiel mumbled numbly.

The doctor said nothing...

Notes:

Dun dun dun, and the plot thickens, hopefully the introduction of nurse Garth managed to lighten things up a bit before the darker second half and reveal.

If you enjoyed this chapter and have the time and/or inclination please let me know what you thought :) 

[aengus-og-babie-blog]

Brighter Imagination

Castiel x Reader

Summary: Y/n is a witch that has acquired a magical pencil that brings all of its drawings to life. She’s been feeling lonely and out of place because so she turns to her lively drawings for companionship. However, a certain curious angel finds Y/n talking to her sketchbook pages. He becomes concerned, as well as cautious when he realizes the drawings are filling Y/n’s head with lies.

Warnings: swearing, mild angst, it’s kinda weird and silly

Word Count: 2173

I run down the bunker stairs in rage. I can practically feel the steam flying out of my bright red ears. However, Dean stops me before I can get out of reach.

“Dammit, Y/n! Just listen to me!” He yells, clearly not in the mood.

“Why should I? You’re just going to criticize me for using my god given powers for good!” I snap back. I understand the boys’ reasons to be wary of magicks, but they know me. They should trust me. I’ve never given them a reason to not trust me.

“I know, but that doesn’t give you the right to take an evil witch’s shit! Who knows what it can do?” Dean argues.

“It’s a magick pencil, Dean. It’s supposed to bring the drawings created with it to life. See? I know exactly what it is and how to use it. There’s nothing inherently evil about this artifact. It’s merely how it’s used.” I defend myself, trusting in my magickal knowledge.

“Y/n, we know you can handle anything, we’re just worried.” Sam justifies his older brother. Despite that, I’m still fuming at the fact that they really don’t trust me with anything remotely powerful. I bet they think I’m going to lose control and hurt someone. I know what I’m doing. I’m a strong witch that’s fully in control of her powers.

“Thanks, but really it’s fine. I promise not to draw anything dangerous and blow up the goddamn bunker.” I finally storm off to my bedroom, needing to be away from the boys right now. I love them like they were my real brothers, but they really knew how to make me feel like shit.

A few days passed since my finding of the magick pencil, but nothing has happened. I’ve begun to believe the pencil was a fake until something scared the shit out of me. I started just by drawing simple doodles of cats and frogs, hoping they would jump off the pages and act as cute little creations. When this didn’t work, I began to draw more realistic looking pieces. I drew plants and books, but still, nothing came to life. Out of curiosity, I started sketching my favorite angel, Castiel. I knew his delicate face like the back of my hand, as I’ve spent so much shameless time staring at it. I didn’t go into much detail, but Cas was definitely there on the page in front of me. I wished for it to come to life, just to blink at me or twitch its nose, but it did nothing. I let out a heavy sign disappointed that the artifact was a dud, so I throw my sketchbook onto my bed. Walking over to the rest of my magickal artifacts, I scold the little pencil.

“You could have sat nicely up here with the rest, but no! You had to be a fake. Now I have to tell the boys and watch their smug shit faces.” I growl, tossing the pencil into my trash. I walk out, sulking into the library to find Sam and Dean. Sam is on his laptop researching for a new case. Dean is sitting with his legs up on the table, beer in hand, yapping at poor Sam.

“I told already told you, I can’t just be lured in with pie! I’m stronger than that. I need to be romanced first, at least.” Dean defends himself.

“Dude, you got caught by werewolves because they knew you liked pie. It’s your thing, your weakness.” Sam chuckles. I clear my throat, turning both of their attention to me.

“Yes, hello. I sadly must report to you that the magick pencil I found was a dud.” I inform the brother.s

“A dud?” Sam inquires. I sigh audibly.

“Yes, a dud. A fake. It doesn’t work. It’s a piece of shit regular pencil.” I hear the two of them sigh in relief. “What the hell guys? I’m actually upset about this!”

“Sorry, sweetheart, but that thing could have been really dangerous. We’re just glad that it’s not and that you’re safe.” Dean says with a sympathetic look on his face, but also a shit eating grin.

“Well, thanks. Glad you care.” I spit out, marching back to my room. I just want to forget about this whole thing. I wish I had never picked up the goddamn pencil. “Stupid piece of shit!”

“Woah! What’s that language for?” A strange voice asks. I let out a yelp, scanning my room to see who that was. No one was there.

“Who said that?” I ask defensively, holding out my hands ready to produce magick protection.

“Uh, down here,” The voice says. My eyes follow, and I spot my sketchbook.

“No way!” I run to it and to my surprise it was my drawing of Castiel that had come to life. That’s odd since the drawing didn’t sound like him that much. It was almost too peppy.

“Yes, hello! It is I, your humble drawing!” He says excitedly. I pull the sketchbook closer to view all of the moving details of my work. His eyes blinked, mouth moved, and whole being seemed to even breathe! It was incredible!

“This is amazing! Except, how come you didn’t come to life earlier?” I ask.

“Well, it’s not exactly instantaneous. According to my knowledge, your drawings must be of something you already know and it takes a while for the magick to fully connect the whole drawing. Creation isn’t easy, y’know!” He replies.

“It’s not creation, merely transformation. Using magick in this pencil to give life-like properties to a simple drawing.” I inspect the drawing more, fascinated by the way it moved on its own. I wanted to know more about how this magick worked.

“You’re prettier up close, too.” He laughs, making me blush.

“Oh, I wasn’t,”

“It’s alright. I can see why you drew me.” He says mysteriously. I was going to question him, but he continues. “Anyways, I heard you were quite upset just now. Why is that?”

“O-oh, well… I got in a fight with the boys because they think I’m not capable enough to handle the magick of the pencil…” I explain.

“What? But you created me so well! How could you not be capable?” He defends me. I smile, appreciating the support.

“Hah, yeah I know, right? They said it would be dangerous and that it’d create something evil.”

“Evil? Do I look evil to you?” I laugh and shake my head ‘no’. There’s no way Castiel’s face could look evil to me, anyway. “I think they’re just jealous. They know they could never be as powerful as you to create such an amazing thing such as me!”

Jealous? I can hardly see Sam and Dean as the jealous type, but perhaps he’s right. They said they don’t want me to become too powerful to the point I couldn’t control myself, but maybe they just don’t want me to get stronger than them.

“Maybe you’re right. Hehe, thanks. You at least made me feel better.” I thank my drawing.

“Of course, creator. I hate seeing you upset. You look so much more beautiful with a smile on your face.” He compliments me, making me blush again.

“Oh, stop.” I giggle.

“I’m serious! I want to make you smile all the time. I can tell the real Castiel can’t make you smile like I can.” This concerns me.

“Well, I wouldn't say that…” Castiel does make me smile, and I love it.

“Not in the same way, I bet. Has he defended you like I have? Or does he side with them?”

“I guess he sides with the boys. He hates whenever I get into dangerous things.”

“Exactly! He thinks you’re too weak to handle it, but I know better. I know my creator is strong enough to handle anything.”

“Hah, thanks. I think I like you. I’ll keep you around for a while after all. You’re the only one that seems to be on my side.”

“Sam? Dean?” Castiel comes into the bunker with a bag in his hand.

“Yo! Oh, sweet! Is that pie?” Dean excitedly gets up to snatch the treat from their angel friend. Sam gives his an unbelieving look. “What?”

“I also got beer and a pumpkin pastry for Y/n. Where is she?” Castiel asks, looking around the room for her.

“She’s sulking in her room,” Sam explains, continuing his research.

“Sulking?” Cas asks sadly.

“Yup. She found some stupid pencil on the last hunt we were on. It was a witch’s so she thought it was magick or something.” Dean says, starting to devour the pie.

“She said it was supposed to bring the drawings to life, but it was a dud,” Sam says with a frown. Castiel didn’t like the idea of Y/n sulking, so he decided to check on her.

Walking down the hallway to her room, he stops when he hears whispering. It was Y/n and someone else. His heartbeat raced when he thought of her and some unknown person in her room. Despite his fear, he knocks on the door softly.

“Go away, Dean! I know you’re just gonna rub the pencil thing in my face!” I quickly hide my sketchbook, just in case he decided to come in anyways. However, it wasn’t Dean stepping into my room. “Cas!”

“Hello, Y/n. The boys told me you were upset about a magickal pencil.” He explains, walking over to me. He sits next to me on the bed. The big dig from his weight causes me to roll closer to him.

“Oh, yeah. I-it’s no big deal. I just mistook it as something uh… special…” I could tell Cas knew I wasn’t being totally honest. He seems to be able to read me like a book.

“May I see?” Castiel asks gently. I had forgotten I had thrown away the pencil until now.

“Uh, sure…” I hesitantly go to grab the pencil out of my trash bin. Handing it over, Castiel turns it in his hands to inspect it.

“I believe you’re wrong, Y/n. There’s definitely something powerful about this pencil.” He turns and sees my sketchbook hidden under my desk. “May I test it on that?”

“U-uh, sure…” I panic, but I can’t say no to him. I try to flip to a different page before he sees, but my drawing speaks up.

“Hey, you! Leave my creator alone!” He growls. I facepalm.

“Who said that?” Castiel asks confused.

“I said it, you brooding chicken!” My drawing insults Castiel.

“Hey, watch it!” I scold him.

“Is that… your drawing? Talking?” Cas asks bewildered. I nod, showing him the drawing moving around and making faces.

“You better leave my creator alone or I’ll fight you! You boys haven’t been giving her the respect she deserves!”

“What is he talking about?” Castiel asks me, clearly upset by my drawing’s words.

“You don’t think she’s strong enough for magickal artifacts! You don’t let her go into dangerous situations because you think she’s weak! You don’t want her to become more powerful than you so you put her down!” The drawing exaggerates for me. Castiel stands there staring with wide eyes.

“Do… do you truly believe this?” He turns towards me with broken eyes.

“W-well, not exactly all of that, but…” I stutter, now embarrassed by this confrontation.

“I don’t let you into dangerous situations because I don’t want you to get hurt. I care too much about you to willingly let you do something that can hurt you. I know you are strong enough to care for yourself, but…” Castiel stares straight into my eyes.

“Y-you care about me that much?” I ask.

“Of course I do, Y/n. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.” The honesty in his eyes fills me with joy. I never knew he felt this way. “I know Sam and Dean feel the same way, but I specifically can’t lose you.”

“Oh? And why is that?” I giggle, already knowing the answer.

“Well, I’m quite fond of you, Y/n. I make it my goal to protect you at all costs.” He reaches out to hold my hand.

“Excuse me? My creator doesn’t need you! She’s perfectly happy on her own with me!” My drawing butts in again. I grab him and crinkle him up, tossing him into the trash.

“It’s a shame you had to get rid of him. I especially liked that you had drawn me.” Castiel smirks.

“Oh, shut up!” I tease. Instead, he pulls me into a soft kiss. His lips are rougher than I thought but still perfect. We pull away and smile at each other.

“Let’s just keep this between you and me, okay?” I ask sheepishly, not wanting the boys to have more to make fun of me for.

“Alright. My lips are sealed.” He agrees. I pull him in for one last kiss before going back out to the boys, Castiel close behind with our fingers entwined.

[ladylynse]

Hey, you doing more of those writing prompts? If so, "Ghosts, demons, evil Sorcerers... what's next? Elemental spirits? Every single mythical creature of human legends? Gods and deities?" SuperPhantomRC9GN crossover thing (throwing a bit of a challenge here, so feel free to drop one of the trio if you can't come up with something)

To be honest, @azthedragon, I’m a little surprised you wanted Supernatural in there when you aren’t overly familiar with it, but here you go! Enjoy.

Lessons:[FF | AO3] Frankly, Dean had his doubts that Phantom and the Ninja were ever going to take this seriously.

“Ghosts, demons, evil Sorcerers…. What’s next? Elementalspirits? Every single mythical creature of human legend? Gods and deities?”

Dean glared at the kid in the ninja costume. He and hisghost friend were sitting on Sam’s bed in the motel room while Dean sat on hisown bed, surrounded by weaponry, and Sam was at the table with the laptop andthe journal. “You laugh, but gods are even bigger di—”

“Dean!”

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam’s admonishment. These guys wereteenagers. A little foul language wasn’t going to scar them for life. And theyhad superpowers, or near enough inDean’s book. A ninja. A ghost. Both of whom he’d shot at before getting theirstories straight, but Dean was past the point of hunting something just becauseit could be considered a monster. Not all of them were evil. The ninja kidmight not be a monster, but the ghost definitely fell firmly into thatcategory. And if he started icing people, well, Dean would pay him a visit atthat point. Until then, he could keep doing what he was doing, as far as Deanwas concerned.

From the sounds of it, Phantom and the Ninja—the two stillrefused to give actual names; it was annoying as hell—had worked togetherbefore. Fine. Dean didn’t ask questions about that kind of thing. He and Samhad come to Norrisville on a demon hunt, found a little more than they’dbargained for, and hadn’t quibbled when the so-called town hero had offered tofill them in.

(In all fairness, Dean had been pointing a gun at the Ninja’shead at the time, but considering the kid had pulled a Houdini with thosestinking smoke bombs before, Dean had known he’d be able to do it again, evenwith Sam flanking him.)

Dean hadn’t really thought they needed backup that wasn’tCas, but the Ninja had insisted on calling in a friend—“It’ll be fine; it’s theweekend, so it’ll be easy for him to get away.”—and Castiel hadn’t been pickingup his damn phone anyway. Sometimes, Dean wondered if the angel pretendedignorance for convenience’s sake.

“Y’know, in all fairness, I kinda have dealt with elemental spirits before,” Phantom mused. “IfFrostbite doesn’t count, Vortex or Undergrowth probably does. I mean, they’renot dead humans like Desiree or Ember, so I guess you could call them elementalspirits. They can control certain elements, anyway. I just mostly ended updealing with the bad guys the same way as I do every other ghost.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of the Tengu.”

“I thought you said the Tengu was a bird demon.”

“Well, if it is, then it’s a different kind of demon thanwhatever this was.”

“And you’re thinking the fireball thing.”

“Yeah, and—”

“But you know the Tengu’s real.”

“Sure, but these shoobs don’t. I mean…not necessarily. And—”

“Can we get back to the point?” Dean snapped. “This isn’t africkin’ joke. People’s lives are on the line.”

“Dean’s right.” Sam’s tone was all gentle and placatingdespite the glare he was sending in Dean’s direction. “We’re not exaggerating.You deal with ghosts all the time,” he said with a nod to Phantom, “and you—”here he looked at the Ninja “—apparently have been dealing with a warlock—sorry,sorcerer—for years.”

“Centuries,” corrected the Ninja, as if Dean was really goingto believe he’d been around that long. He’d metwitches and warlocks that were centuries-old and had had enough dealings withangels and demons to know the type. This kid? Definitely not even in histwenties.

Sam was not dissuaded. “The point is, now you’ve run intodemonic possession. We told you how to deal with that—”

“I have already forgotten that ritual,” interrupted theNinja. “I mean, what was that, Greek?”

“I think it was Latin,” Phantom said with a shrug. “I dunno.I was going to ask Sam about it when I get back. She probably knows. I’m prettysure I’ve seen her doodling that symbol.”

“The point—”

“Point is, you know other monsters are real,” Dean cut in. “Soit would save guys like us—” he gestured to himself and Sam “—a helluva lot oftrouble if you dealt with them when they cropped up on your home turf.”

Phantom caught Dean’s look and crossed his arms. He still refusedto say where he was from. Also annoying as hell. But that feeling hadn’t reallygone away for this entire hunt.

“Demonic possession doesn’t seem to be too different from ghosts,” allowed Phantom at last as he uncrossedhis arms and leaned back on the bed. “Just write out that stuff for me againand I’m sure I can figure it out if I need to.”

“Little more different than when someone’s stanked,” agreedthe Ninja, “but I can wing it, and it’ll look super bruce when I do. Howardwill totally think I’ve wonked his cheese. It’ll be great. You guys cool if Idon’t tell him I got the info from you?”

If Dean still had even a fleeting thought that God actuallycared, he might pray for strength. He and Sam had never been that idiotic. Reckless, sure, until their cockinessnearly got someone killed, and that was gone in both of them by twelve even withtrying to keep Sammy away from the worst of it. But these two….

Frankly, having seen them in a fight, Dean was pretty surethey’d be dead if they didn’t have superpowers. Or, in Phantom’s case, if he weren’talready dead. The Ninja’s attacks were sloppy, often leaving himself open, andhe usually forgot to watch his back. Not to mention the fact that he announced each attack. Phantom was morewasteful in his actions, expending too much energy at once and not caring if hegot hit as long as he managed to get a hit in, too. He didn’t have much of asense of timing; his typical strategy seemed to be to pour pure power into anattack and hit something for all he was worth.

Dean, being very human and not wanting to die (again) orwatch Sam die (again), had questioned their partnership often over the last twodays. Still, he had to admit that watching Phantom and the Ninja work togetherto create the Devil’s Trap—combining ice and fire powers—had been a satisfying,especially after that lowlife demon had managed to crack the concrete floor Samhad spray-painted the first one on earlier. But that demon was Crowley’sproblem now, and Crowley was not going to be pleased to hear that some uppitycrossroads demon thought he could garner favour by playing fast-and-loose withthe rules.

Crowley might take every loophole for the opportunity itwas, but he didn’t break the rules of his contracts. Broken contracts meant thesouls were no longer bound and no longer destined for a date in hell in ten yearsor whatever the agreed upon time period was. Apparently, the demon had thoughthe could get around that with a separate verbal agreement, but that sort ofthing didn’t hold up. Something about double dealing. Or maybe not sealing thedeals appropriately. Frankly, Dean hadn’t cared. He’d just sent the sonnovabitch back to hell where he belonged.

It would’ve been an easier task if all the other,non-demonic possessions hadn’t been happening at the same time. What the Ninjahad called stanking and the Phantom had not-so-helpfully explained as just astrong form of magical possession. But the Ninja didn’t seem to think Sam andDean would actually be able to help him get rid of the warlock, no matter what theysaid, so it had been Sam’s bright idea to at least educate these guys so they’dknow what to do if anything else showed up.

Dean was already regretting agreeing to this.

“Look, just listen, okay? We’ll run you through the basics.Don’t worry about trying to memorize it all right now—”

“Definitely wasn’t going to happen anyway,” said the Ninja,to which Phantom nodded his agreement.

“—because you can contact us if you run into something andneed a refresher or some backup.” Sam got up from the table and handed each kida business card. “Our numbers are on the back. The front, that’s a friend ofours, Jodi Mills. She’s the Sheriff in Sioux Falls. South Dakota,” he added atthe blank looks on their faces. “If you can’t reach us, phone her. She’ll putyou in touch with someone who can help.”

Both kids pocketed the card, though Dean didn’t see where. “Anyway.Enough chitchat. On to business. First up: vampires. It’s pretty straightforward. You just—”

“Drive a wooden stake through their heart,” said Phantom. “Everyoneknows that.”

“That’s actually a popular misconception,” corrected Sam. “Truthis, you—”

“Garlic,” said the Ninja immediately. “Lots of it. You cangarlic them to death.”

Dean heaved a sigh and met Sam’s eyes, knowing hisexpression conveyed exactly what he wanted to know. Do we have to do this? But he knew Sam’s answering expression well.That was a yes. Well, morespecifically, Dude, if we don’t, we’rejust going to regret it later, so suck it up.

Dean rolled his eyes before looking back at the kids. “Youcut off their heads,” he said, overriding Phantom’s offer of ‘crucifix’. “Ilike a machete, but anything’ll do in the pinch. Sword, sickle, garrote, ice…thing.”Phantom was good with that ice; chances were, he could make something strong enoughand sharp enough to do the job if he tried. “But if you’re trying to take downa vamp nest, you’ll wanna get your hands on some dead man’s blood.”

“On what?” the Ninja repeated. Phantom looked surprised butdidn’t seem as disturbed by the idea, maybe because he’d have an easier timegetting some in the first place.

“Dead man’s blood,” repeated Sam, even though Dean wascertain the repetition was unnecessary. “Preferably, more than one syringe full.It’ll knock them out cold, usually for a couple of hours.”

“Uh huh,” the Ninja said slowly, “and when you say nest, do you mean more of a cave, forwhen they’re bats? Are they more vulnerable at that point, being bats?”

Sam winced. “They can’t turn into bats, either. They do have a retractable set of teeth, sowhen they bite someone, expect more than two puncture marks.” Sam went on toexplain more of the signs, what to watch for, and Dean had to admit that thequestions slowly got less inane and more intelligent as Sam started working hisway through the most common monsters and the kids genuinely started to listen.

Dean wasn’t sure the kids believed them, of course. TheNinja had outright laughed when Dean had said Cas was an angel, evenconsidering they were hunting a demon, and that crack at gods and deities madeit clear the Ninja had never met any of them. (To be honest, Dean wished hehadn’t met a bunch of them, either, since none of the experiences had exactlybeen fun, but that was beside the point.) But it would be something, and if itmeant someone lived, then that was surely worth this pain and suffering.

“Um, yeah, definitely gonna have to veto you on that one.Salt does not work on ghosts.”

Probably.

“You wanna test that theory of yours, kid?” Dean asked. “I’vegot a bag of rock salt in the trunk. We can find out pretty quick.”

“Oh, I would bet money on this.” Phantom was grinning. “Howabout, um….”

“Dinner at McFlubbusters,” piped up the Ninja immediately.It was probably his favourite place—or at least one of them—and chances were hehad forgotten that he was currently wearing a mask.

Still, Dean agreed to their terms. (Sam just sat thereshaking his head, so Dean didn’t plan on letting him order dessert. Not that hewould, anyway. He still did not appreciate the sanctity of pie.) He and Samwere due for a free dinner, anyway, even though he had doubts about whetherPhantom or the Ninja would be able to cough up enough between them to cover onemeal. But sometimes, it really is the thought that counts.

(see more fics)

[elizabethrobertajones]

Pre-Wayward Sisters Rewatch Notes

1x09: HAVE SOME PATIENCE WHILE WE GO TO MISSOURI

I've been through here so recently but it still cracks me up in the intro when it recaps that Mary "is never coming back", and then the ground it goes on to cover with her which is literally just her season 12 arc she returns to deal with properly. It's pretty much neither here nor there, and while technically I'm rewatching this for Missouri, I have to admit I'm like 90% coming back here because of the phone call parallel to 13x01's prayer because I like tormenting myself and that really sealed the deal on if I would come back to rewatch, since I covered seasons 1-4 in the hiatus.

It's interesting to me that the recap covers so much of the already established Winchester Family History circa 1x09 because it's going over the mythos of the family that led us to this point where we go to the home to explore all this and dig down into the emotional drama behind everything... To actually expose some of the things that we've been sitting on until this point. Our first sight of John since the Pilot, and Mary's last moments in her chronological story until 11x23.  And beginning to get into the mystery of the evil that was done to Sam, and Mary's part in it.

The reason I say all this is because obviously when we get to the season 13 episodes introducing us to our Wayward squad, the recaps of the episodes are going to have to cover this same ground - to tell us who everyone is, to bring them into the fold and to tie their stories together. Hopefully by the proper Wayward Sisters episode when we've had all the new girls' stories, we'll get a recap with a very similar feel: just a straightforward "this is the family, do you want to find out more about them?" sort of explanation.

I also remember from the rewatch I did in the summer that the Home one stood out to me for being so focused only on the Winchester mythos and the surrounding ones were more about the monsters and fighting and "saving people hunting things" that the family focus felt far more important here even before the episode started.

It's weird, it makes me preemptively excited to see the family come together just because I know they'll have to do the montage, and like this one was in a low key way, it will high key be a special event, because it will be ABOUT the new family we care about.

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I am momentarily distracted by how this episode opens on Sam's vision and then him obsessing over drawing the tree from outside the house over and over. I watched 1x17 last night with my mum and it reminds me of this season's great subtle mirroring and repetition of moments and ideas and motifs, when Dean is obsessing over his mystery symbol. That was the silly example of this to break the tension but to keep consistency through the season, subtly repeating ideas in a way that just keeps it all kind of the same aesthetic, of Sam and Dean doodling on motel paper... Anyway, reminds me of Dabb era's methods but they have 12 seasons of past canon to play with and in season 11 it was extremely blatant the way they revisited old ideas and told us they were shaking them up and doing them differently or just bringing them back for our consideration. I wonder if anyone ever collected up all the ways season 1 internally mirrors itself. It's really just a spiral of mirrors that unlike the character development spiralling closer and closer to a desired end, this spirals out and out that the more canon there is the more there is to reference and repeat, and so it grows exponentially in mirrored subject matter...

At this point Wayward Sisters is going to have a bit of a job navigating the story to tell its own stuff in a fresh way without falling back on the repeated ideas - I don't know if we should be looking for mirroring or if introducing the characters as part of Supernatural's main canon means they can be used by the narrative in this way but only when they get to their own show will they then build their own language. The new show means they can play around with new ways of telling things and the tropes will probably be very different all over the place. Like, for once I'm not expecting a new psychic character to massively mirror Sam, even though Home and how Missouri and Sam bond over his powers is obviously like the main reason to come back here to rewatch before we get an episode where she does it with her own granddaughter. I don't think there's anything evil behind Patience's powers especially if we're assuming they're inherited from Missouri and they're not going to introduce some weird ideas about where those powers came from - it's enough having them I think :P

On the other hand if Patience is being hunted by a hungry wraith that likes her powers then it IS a parallel to all the interest in Jack for HIS powers. We'll see how it shakes out but once they're in a show where they're the main characters (and I really hope Patience is the POV character - I think actually not long after I was talking about that somewhere I saw an interview suggesting she WOULD be, which is AWESOME) then the fact that Patience is/was a Sam and Jack mirror will be utterly by the by. Really I just hope they don't bend her to meet the perfect criteria for a mirror but develop her for herself and put Sam and Jack in her shadow.

-

Sam realises they need to go home and this is the motivation to reveal that he has been having psychic nightmares - the fact that someone is in trouble and needs saving and the only way to explain to Dean why he knows this is because he suspects he's psychic. For narrative parallels to whatever might happen in 13x03 purposes, I'm interested in how Patience's story compares to Sam's, as she is reconnecting with Missouri by the sounds of things, and has her own issues with being disconnected from her family probably - this episode is still filled with massive disconnects and both of their parents withholding information or just outright avoiding them, seemingly for their own protection. (Mary being rather more direct about protecting them in a heroic way than John, hiding in the shadows refusing to confront them with the mytharc knowledge about Sam). Patience is prooobably going to be out of the loop on what's happening to her, or out of the family loop, which means that this is going to be personal discovery for her too.

-

Oh hey and then Sam gets them through the door into the house by using a conditional amount of the truth (they're sam and dean winchester and they used to live here) just like in 13x01 Dean just used the truth to the sheriff and got her on-board and them out of jail with that frankness... Sometimes it pays.

-

OH GOD Dean having to relive the fire by telling it to Sam... and 13x01 starting with Dean re-imagining/dreaming/having a vision about it again :<

-

I swear I started this trying to tell myself I would not make this about Man Pain because this is the Wayward Sisters watch but I am an addict

-

Dean goes to make the call and there's a big blue shipping container thing beside him and it's so claustrophobic, like he's chosen the most confined secret space to make the call... It's in total contrast to the vast open space he prayed in - but he STILL shuffled into the shadow of the (blue) building in order to make the prayer and get that illusion of privacy and confinement. The wide shot as he goes in here shows him behind the car and weaving between gas station junk and between these two buildings/large structures. In 13x02 just the random car parked at the back stops Dean from being entirely alone and exposed. I'll take that as a commentary on his layers and how open he is being, although it's sort of awkward when both times, of course, he's going for a super private call that he's going to open himself up for completely, revealing deep down things that have never been exposed before.

People literally started loving Dean about this exact second of the show because he broke so wonderfully to cry and reveal he's not all his top layer stuff. I think someone on the superspecpod (2 of them?) said/agreed on this moment.

-

Of course we can assume Chuck is listening and not acting, not just because he's omnipotent and abnormally attached to Dean of all humans, but also because John literally did hear this voicemail and either already was in or came straight to Lawrence.

-

God the fact he makes the call in front of the men's room but then it's the buccaneer's room in 13x02... what a goofy episode... I hate it... Pfft

-

THIS IS SO HARD TO WATCH.

I rank Dean's pain proportionate to his experience, and this is definitely the worst he's ever been at this point, mostly because we never see him cry until then.

He certainly is dealing better than in 13x02 because he still has a job to do and it might be hard but at least he has some sort of focus and a reason for being there, and even if everything is all messed up (he has to be back here AND Sam has just revealed he's psychic) that's not completely and utterly unbearable in the same way losing Mary and Cas (and even Crowley) has made him shut down so hard in season 13. There's no forward momentum for him. Jack is not enough of a motivation >.>

-

SAM: All right, so there are a few psychics and palm readers in town. There’s someone named El Divino. There’s, uh –-[He laughs.]—there’s the Mysterious Mister Fortinsky. Uh, Missouri Moseley—

Dear lord bring back these other guys just to kill them off for the epic 13 years of continuity you could get for free.

El Divino would be hilarious because I'm guessing the divine -> cas connection would be especially hilarious to play on

-

These lines are moments apart:

SAM: [reading] I went to Missouri and I learned the truth. [...] DEAN: Why didn’t you tell him? MISSOURI: People don’t come here for the truth. They come for good news.

Yeah, not that she gave John any.............................. or did she not tell him EVERYTHING she suspected/read about what had happened to Sam in that night? Exactly how far-ranging are her powers? Could she have seen what Azazel did by proximity to the attack around the time it happened and to John? She could see that dude's wife was having an affair, which is out of his knowledge range, so does that mean she knew about Mary's deal, which is loosely coded as infidelity to John with Azazel?

Gaaaah.

-

but oh NO - Missouri takes one look at Sam and Dean and specifically analyses Sam's woes as missing his dead loved one and Dean's as his missing parent...

*flippy flippy to season 13's entire framing of their loss*

-

TBH Missouri getting annoyed at Dean asking where their father is is probably specifically because she knows exactly where he is, aka hiding in the spare room upstairs doing whatever angsty things John does, and she's trying to shake Dean off of asking, and she is probably not that great at lying when she is in the middle of it all instead of just cheerfully telling people what they want to hear.

-

Maybe the whack you with a spoon thing was also to make Dean so uncomfortable with her he wouldn't keep bugging her for info about things she did not want to admit right then.

Keep them on track

-

I do feel like she was here to challenge them, not to nurture them, and I think it's weirdly the same issue people are having with Mary in season 12 and Dean "parenting" Jack in season 13, where she is not actually meant to be a motherly character, and I have historically had no issues with her in the past, before fandom and everything needing to be tuned to being good to your fave or otherwise the Worst. She's interesting and introduced even just with that guy she lies to as being mercurial and emotionally untrustworthy. She lets them behind the veil as it were since they know she's really psychic but clearly using that power carefully and not being too accurate all the time for people when the truth hurts and her powers can be better used for reading people and working out what would be best to tell them... But for hunters it's a different story... but that doesn't change her default personality... Especially as the end of the episode reveals she has been withholding literally the object of this season's quest from them at this early stage. She literally plays them like her customers except with the personal plot info she can't tell them.

So when she goes through the door saying Dean's not the sharpest tool the shed, she is not a person in a position of emotional responsibility to them, we just see Sam and Dean as scared confused little ducklings (like Jack in season 13) and people being harsh with them, especially I think when we come back to them with years of seeing them grow up and grow harder, so they're all soft and fluffy and mostly unharmed at this point, it's so easy to be defensive of them... And I mean I AM because DEAN, but not so much I think this means Missouri is a horrible person or that she's cruel or Dean shouldn't give her the time of day in season 13 or whatever. I find her to be interesting and she's an obstacle they DON'T overcome because she is twice as fast as them with her psychic advantage so she can help them for the GREATER GOOD, but conceal their much more personal issue from them, making her a minor (friendly and great good-motivated) antagonistic as far as the stuff that matters on the character side of things goes.

In season 13 she has nothing to lose in hiding things from them or lying to them, I bet, especially as she appears to be the one asking them for help rather than them coming to her, so I assume she will be more open, and I also assume that with 13 years space in between, Dean is not going to hold a serious grudge for the way she treated him - because those words are just a few from a one-off meeting with her rather than a childhood of negging or something. Like with Mary she doesn't have responsibility over them as adults, or a moral obligation to them in the same way a recognised caregiver would.

If she can read inside their heads and treats Dean this way she is doing it for a reason and she's running circles around them to not reveal that John has been in contact with her or that even at this point perhaps she knows he's already in town.

-

OH NO the nursery scene... This is where it all happened. A dark energy in the room...

And now we know that Jack being born and sloping off to the nursery to hide in the corner was heralded by a wave of powerful GOOD energy, not the "toxic" energy of Lucifer and the same thing that Azazel corrupted this room with.

-

Also Missouri calling Dean an amateur for using an EMF meter might be more of the negging but this scene is Missouri being a serious professional at the ghost hunting thing just by  being herself... I think since she's coming back and it will be a less personally charged episode - pretty much has to be - then her natural competence at hunting will be an asset. She might not be able to handle wraiths as easily as ghosts but she certainly has a whole load of real spell ingredients and knowledge about things that really work for actual hunting. She's not a hapless bystander even if her day job is fortune telling...

-

Oh and then we have Sam out-psychic-ing Missouri. Probably because he's got demon blood but it is interesting what might happen with Patience - if she's more sensitive than Missouri as well, or if they have the same level of talent. It would change from being ominous about Sam - with Missouri as our default example of what the generic psychic of this world building can do as the season 1 intro of such a character, and how Sam is unnerving because he can do more - to a story about outgrowing the talent of your elders and forging your own way in the world with your own strength that only you can define since help can only go so far when you outshine them... In storytelling purposes I can't really imagine they won't make Patience as good as (but with a better innovative mindset) or better than Missouri (in raw power) just because "oh here's a slightly less psychic character" just doesn't really sparkle off the page as a hook. We'll see, but I can imagine it being kinda like the stuff that happens with Sam here, but not in an ominous way, just in a way that Patience is going to move on and join the Wayward Sisters.

Of course Missouri could just die and motivate her even if she has average/normal powers, because she won't be measuring herself against Missouri and it would be a motivation to be as good as she was from a start where her powers are a bit wonky.

(Although with Jack around I can see them being veeery tempted by her being super powerful but not knowing how to control it yet just for the sake of having a parallel.)

-

I am still not over Sam saying he can "see" Mary now before she appears to him, neatly book-ending this scene and 12x22 and Dean asking Mary to see HIM, and basically the fact they stole literally Mary's entire arc in season 12 from the staging of this scene.

And if you want to keep recycling it in reverse, she burns up again in 13x01 in Dean's dream, to cap that all off.

Wheee

-

It's weird having Mary on screen in this over-dramatic OMG it's MARY way where it's the most amazing thing that's ever happened, and then we got a whole season of her where she was just kinda around :P

-

SAM: What’s happening to me? MISSOURI: I know I should have all the answers, but I don’t know.

And yep she's still lying to them and hiding everything she knows, and as such even though she's kinder to Sam since he's probing her less and less snappy than Dean, she doesn't give him the exact advice and information he needs even though apparently she and John knew a hell of a lot for ages...

You know what I would like? This is a total pipe dream, but for her to tell Dean what she actually knew when they met her, and maybe even apologise for withholding information because John said it was for the best and all. Because Sam was FUCKED UP by all this and honestly considering it's all one emotional arc right through the show it makes you wonder what Sam being given actual information by someone other than Azazel when it amuses him to do so would have ever done to help him figure out who he was, what was happening to him, and how he should react to it.

He's sitting on these steps feeling probably somewhat the same as Jack did in 13x02 where he was sitting on that crate in the alley, although from a less aggressive situation, just, kinda reflecting on everything that happened. He sees there's a pattern in everything kicking off, and now Mary apologises to him... And he's got these powers he's only just daring to even voice exist and grappling with what will be his myth arc for basically ever... And Missouri lies to him and withholds information he needs. John knows stuff about Sam - he DIES knowing more about Sam than they ever did until waaay too late. He probably knew BY THEN that Sam had demon blood, which wasn't revealed until the end of season 2, but logically follows from John's last words to mean that whatever reveal about Sam came at the end of the season, this is what he was worried Dean had to save Sam from (or kill him) at the start of the season when he could last have any input on that. And he spent most of season 1 chasing Azazel or working out how to kill him rather than researching Sam so I go back to wondering if Missouri put most of it together herself.

I wonder how much she didn't tell John.

I wonder what she DID tell John the moment the credits rolled on the episode and they were free to talk plot without spoiling anything for us. Did Missouri get him a cup of tea, sit down with him and tell him her full professional opinion of Sam which kicked off the entire everything else John did re: Sam? It's only a couple of episodes before he's on the other side of the country chasing leads on Azazel.

I wonder if she'd tell us any of this 13 years later...

...

I bet she says basically nothing, but these are my hanging questions about season 1 and 2 which ONLY she can enlighten us on.

-

"Don't you boys be strangers!" "We won't." "See you around!"

welp, sorry Alpha Vampire and "see you next season" but this absolutely and emphatically takes the cake now she is actually returning at long last and it's not just an amusing line about her never coming back - it's an amusing line about her not coming back for thirteen freakin years.

-

Oh look it's JDM

-

This rewatch is so weird and messed up about what characters and plot things we're going to pass through. Sure the Wayward Sisters are utterly embedded in the show and even w/o the Patience thing go back more than half it's run - 3/4 of its run in fact - but they appear in such strange places tangential to massive happenings that following the characters around is going to be The Most Chaotic Rewatch Ever, for someone who likes meta-ing patterns.

I mean after this my next episode is to hop along to Claire's intro.

-

Anyway, John resisting going to see them but "not until I know the truth" which I assume is not the reason Chuck is being hands off in season 13 but I assume he thinks he has his reasons not to intervene.

John learned the truth from Missouri about monsters and the like, but now he's chasing the much bigger, plot important truths... It's going to mean he basically never sees his sons again, except for the prolonged contact at the end of this season/start of the next where he's sitting on whatever he knew about Sam which prompted his last words to Dean. I seriously, SERIOUSLY wonder if him saying he needs to know the truth ties back to "I went to Missouri and learned the truth" and that she DID tell John that Sam has demon blood and she put it all together between their initial contact and meeting Sam with his powers activated in their present day.

Oh gosh, I am sure someone has come up with that before, probably 13 years ago, but still. That's a good conspiracy to end on...

[wonderlandinrope]

Time Part 5

Sam X Reader

Warning: Violence, 

Summary: While hunting a case at an elementary school the brothers find it to be an easy case. After however, Sam runs into an old flame and discovers that she has a secret.

Like the story? click > Masterlist

Please leave a comment! Anything!

The door didn’t just open it flew off the hinges across the room bouncing off the wall landing on the floor with a thud. Grace squeezed her mother tighter, whimpering into her neck. A man stood in front of the door dressed as a doctor, but this man didn’t approach them he ran at charging with a blade similar to the one that Cas had. Without hesitation, Cas plunged his own blade into the man's stomach, as he did so a light emitted from his eyes. Anna stepped back trying to save Grace from the gruesome scene. But as she stepped back her arm was caught by Sam who pulled her forward passed the man now lying dead on the floor.

As they emerged from the room the hall was empty of all patients, doctors, and nurses. Only a few lights remain on. It occurred to her that this was not normal, the place should have been a beehive of activity. Where had everyone gone? Sam’s grip on Anna's arm was too tight for her to pull away or make a run for it. She was stuck in this for the moment and would find a way out when the timing was better.

At the end of the hall stood a woman in a business suit. “We just want to child Castiel. If you give her to us you, the Winchesters, even the human bug can go no harm done.”

Cas remained quiet, Dean spoke instead, cocky. “How about you walk away and we won’t come after you.”

“No one asked you, Winchester. So what will it be? How about you ma’am, if she comes with us, we will make sure she is safe, no guarantee with those three.” The woman offered., taking a few steps forward Dean shooting at her feet she stopped. “So this is how it’s going to be?”

The hand on Anna’s arm pulled her closer, angling her in a way that was she and Grace were completely hidden from view. Her grip on her daughter tightened. Maybe she should make a break for it? Run to the stranger at the end of the hall, hope for the best. However, her gut wouldn’t let her move, her fear paralyzing her. The gun in Sam’s hand was too real.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Dean smirked. “Sam go we’ll meet you back at the house.”

“Dean,” Sam protested.

“Go Sam. This is about more than just her now.” Cas persisted.

Turning on his heels Sam ushered them both down the stairway behind them. They fled down the first flight of stairs but Grace was a big kid making it difficult for Aris to run at her normal speed. Without thinking Sam took Grace wrapping her arms around his neck, Anna’s heart dropped. She needed to get them away from him, he was an unbalanced maniac so far as she could tell. Why hadn’t she seen it sooner?

At the garage, Sam found Aris car. Telling her to get in the back she put Grace in the car seat as he pulled out driving faster than she felt comfortable with.

“Sam can you please slow down,” Aris asked calmly, and Grace began to cry.

“I can’t do that. Grace, it’s ok baby, I’m going to make sure you're safe.” Sam looked at them from the mirror focusing on Grace whose eyes were red and puffy.

When they made it to the house, Sam pulled them out of the car telling Anna to go pack a bag while he ran to help Grace. Once alone Anna dug through her bag looking for her cell phone only to find that it must have fallen out in the rush to leave. Pulling herself up by the bootstraps, she thought it better to play along at the moment than to upset him any further. She pulled out a bag stuffing it with a few essentials before rejoining them in the living room. Grace Sat on the couch her plushie dog that Sam had given her sat next to her, as she began to doodle on a piece of paper. Now out of the hospital gown, in a plain pink t-shirt and jeans, she looked more relaxed. Sam watched out the window gun at the ready.

“What is going on Sam? You said that you lied to me before.” Anna asked cautiously, looking around the room there were lines of salt everywhere, occult symbols drawn on the walls in the living room and on the windows.

Without taking his eyes off the door Sam responded. “My brother and I are hunters, our friend Cas is an Angel. The reason I came here before was that the school had been haunted. We took care of that. Now we are dealing with something a little more serious.” He stepped closer to Anna trying to keep his voice down so that Grace wouldn’t hear. “The Angels and Demons believe they are coming after her Grace. We need to get to where I live no one can get in. She and you will be safe there.”

Anna just nodded more terrified than ever completely sure that he his brother and whoever the other guy was had all lost it. Fearing for the safety of her daughter, but she couldn’t get away now without risking Sam turning on her. She would have to find a way to be alone with Grace so they could make a break for it, in the meantime she would wait til the time was right.

It didn’t take long before Dean pulled up Cas riding shotgun. Dean jumped out, putting Graces car seat in the back of the Impala. “Ok they're here let's go.” Sam taking Graces bag noticed.

Dean placed Grace in the back seat buckling her in, “Hey kiddo you ready to go?”

“Nick told me we are going on an adventure just like Alice. That I have an important job to do.” Grace smiled up at him hugging her dog.

“Who’s nick?” Dean asked kindly but was suspicious of who Grace was talking to.

Anna pushed Dean out of the way climbing in next Grace settling between them. “Nick is her imaginary friend. Tells her things too, ask Sam he’ll tell you all about it.” The words were acid on her tongue.

“Just trying to make conversation tiger mom.” He countered hands up showing her he meant no trouble.

Letting the quiet speak for her they knew it was time to go. Loading the car they were off headed back to the bunker, Grace singing in the back of the car Sam and her mother on either side ready to put their lives on the line for her. Sam against the Supernatural, Anna against Sam.

Three hours into the drive the gas tank was beginning to run low. A neon sign glowing in the distance calling them in to get out stretch their legs. No one was around other than the clerk, inside the little store. Grace woke up just as they came to a stop asking to go in so she could use the bathroom, Anna insists that she bring her before she had an accident. Reluctantly Sam agreed but only if he stood nearby.

Once in the bathroom, Anna took the opportunity to devise a plan to get them away. The bathroom was a typical single stall with a sink. Looking around while Grace went to the bathroom Anna noticed a small window. It would be a tight fit but she could do it. just a matter of finding something to stand on. Turning over the trash can she could just reach enough to get Grace out then herself.

Before Grace could turn on the water to wash her hands Anna stopped her. Whispering so not to catch Sams attention. “Grace we are going to go on our own adventure now. I need you to listen something is wrong with your dad, so we are going to see your Aunty Em ok?”

Grace looked confused but nodded her head not wanting to upset her mother any further. Thinking they were going back out the door she went to leave only for Anna to take her hand and point to the window. Opening her mouth to protest Anna put a finger to her lips indicating that she needed to be quiet. Grace nodded indicating that she understood. Lowering Grace out the window was more difficult than she had originally thought, cutting the underside of her arm in the process. Ignoring the pain she jumped out after her daughter.

They ran for a while threw the woods before Grace grew tired complaining that she wanted to sleep. Anna took her in her arms, letting the child drift off as she looked for the road. Coming out of the tree line she spotted a pay phone making the decision to call a cab she waited with her sleeping daughter. Grace was still sleeping when the cab pulled up to the house. Em waited for them inside greeting Anna with a hug after Grace was laid down on the couch.

“Em I don’t know what to do! Sam snapped.” Anna cried as Em handed her a cup of coffee.

“Oh sweety, it's ok. Just tell me what happened.” Em reached over squeezing Anna’s hand.

“I don’t know. Grace got sick at school, we went to the hospital. At some point, Sam and his brother showed up then this other guy named Cas. I passed out at some point, then woke up and they all had weapons. He was going on about Angels and Demons. There was something about ghosts.” Anna dropped her hands into her face feeling defeated and overwhelmed.

Leaning forward Em looked to Grace still on the couch. “Did they say anything about her?”

Looking up she nodded “They said that they are after her, I think Sam’s going to try and take her Em. I need to call the police.”

Agreeing immediately Em looked less concerned. She got up walking to the kitchen counter. “Did they tell you how to fight the demons.”

“What no. Em did you hear me? I need to call the police where’s your phone?” Standing she made her way to the couch to check on Grace who was starting to become restless.

“No that’s not a good idea. My boss should be here soon to collect her.” The women stood before them now wielding a knife. Her eyes flashing black just long enough for Anna to see.  “It’s a good thing that they don’t need you. I’m going to have so much fun carving you up like a pumpkin on Halloween.”

“What the hell Em! What’s wrong with you!” Anna picked up Grace pulling her away from the black-eyed Em.

Chasing after them, Em pulled the back of Grace’s shirt tearing her from Anna’s arms. Using one hand Anna was pinned to the wall, watching as Grace began to cry out. Slapping Grace across the face Em then turned to Anna holding the knife at her throat letting a little blood drip down the blade.

“Grace run!” Anna pleaded with her daughter

Instead of doing as she was told Grace began to pound her little fists against the demon. Let out a full belly laugh the demon pulled the knife away from Anna’s neck just for a moment. Picking up Grace she threw her across the room on to the couch, watching with sick amusement as the small child ran back trying to fight off the attacker and rescue her mother. This time as the demon reached down to grab Grace the knife it held went flying across the room.

“Let go of my mommy.” The small child’s voice got cold the room began to shake. A few smaller objects flew around the room a hurricane wind pushing back the Demon knocking her over. The power she had over Anna was gone.

“What are you?” Em tried to reach for Grace but was thrown into the table breaking it in half by something far more powerful than herself.

Grabbing Grace Anna ran from the house not stopping even as she heard screams coming from her sister,  the door slammed behind her. Outside the streets were empty not so much as a car drove by. A street lamp stood at the corner of the road, it’s glow feeling like the only clear point in her day, as she reached it the familiar sound of an old car pulled up behind them.

Scrambling down out of her mother's arms Grace ran to her father who had just stepped out of the car. “Grace get in the car,” Sam instructed turning to face Anna.

Grace climbed into the car where Dean and Cas kept her busy and distracted as her parents talked.

“Don’t take her away from me Sam.” Anna had been thrown so much in the past day losing Grace would break her.

Letting a dry single laugh slip, rubbing his face he bit his bottom lip.  It became clear that he wasn’t mad or vengeful only upset that she could not grasp what was happening. “I’m not going to take her from you, I’m trying to save her…. and you. Back there I was telling you the truth, Grace is more special than you know. As long as she is with me and Dean and Cas she will be safe. And I will fight to my last breath to make sure she stays that way.” Taking a long pause he looked at the car, Dean pointed to his watch they needed to move. “Even if it means leaving you behind to protect her. Come with us and stay with her. Or I can leave you behind because I am not going to risk her life like that again.”

“Yes.” without hesitation she agreed. “Take me with you. Something happened back there at my sisters, she wasn’t her. I don’t know how much I believe you but I know that it was after her. And right now nowhere is safer.”

“Alright, but from now on when I say jump you jump. No more of this running off I can’ handle it.” He was split on how he felt, happy that she had joined them that he could keep her safe but worried that she may run with Grace again. That next time they wouldn’t be so lucky.

Moving out of the way Sam slid in the front seat while Anna sat in the back next to Grace who told Cas about one of her favorite books. When they began to drive past the house Grace grew unusually quiet catching the attention of Dean. He looked back at her in the mirror.

“You ok sweetheart?” He asked

“Aunt Em tried to hurt us, but Nickel stopped her. I hope he’s ok.” Her voice nearly impossible to hear. But it was enough for them to understand that she had seen something that couldn’t be taken back.

“It wasn’t your Aunt that was a monster. Your aunt wouldn’t have done something like that, I promise. And I swear that nothing like that will happen again. To either of you.” Dean was more serious than Anna or Grace had seen before his words struck them in a way that felt so final.

Not much else was said on the ride to the bunker. They each sat stewing in their own thoughts about what had been revealed. Anna especially her head buzzed with the new information the dangers that would be coming their way. Worst was the guilt she now felt for what happened to her sister. She knew Dean was lying to help Grace feel less afraid. The black-eyed Em may not have been acted like her but she was her. Em was dead she could feel it a truth so permanent that she felt it in her soul.

As they arrived at the bunker Anna promised that she wouldn’t run again, not so long as everyone was still looking for Grace. Sam showed her to a room that Grace and her could share for a while until they could clear out one of the old storage rooms to convert it to another bedroom. Thanking him she made sure that Grace was ok before following him back into the larger room that she had entered through. It was unlike anything Anna had ever seen, from the outside it looked like a run down power station or factory, but within it was a fortress complete with a war room. Something that would prove to be invaluable.

Cas, Dean and Sam sat around a large table. Dean sipped at a beer, passed one to Sam,  a third sat on the table he pushed it forward. Anna Ignored it taking a seat as far from the others as possible. The world had fallen out from under her, leaving her treading water looking for anything that might keep her afloat. However, there were sharks in the water.

“You going to tell us what the hell Grace meant in the car back at the house?” Dean asked

“My sister said she was going to help us but when we got to her house…. Her eyes were black, she pinned me against the wall. Grace tried to fight but Em through Grace. She….. tried to kill me” The image of the knife, the feel of the cold sharp blade on her neck returned. Her hand instinctively touched where the knife had left a small cut. “Then everything went nuts.” her hands moved rapidly around trying to demonstrate the sudden wind and air pressure change. “Em went flying and I could move again. In the car, Grace said it was Nickel. Could that be true?”

“Probably, just a Zana.” Sam stated unfazed. “An imaginary friend. I had one when I was her age.”

It was clear from his remarks earlier and Anna’s distrust that whatever had been between them before was gone. Now as they sat at the table the only thing that truly mattered was keeping Grace alive and safe.

Cas interrupts “What I was trying to tell you earlier was that those still the following Lucifer found a way to create a new vessel for him. They would no longer need Sam this time for him to reach his full potential.”

“I’m sorry what? Lucifer as in the devil? You're not serious.” Placing her hands on the table trying to steady herself she couldn’t take her eyes off the angel before her.

“Serious as a heart attack, sweetheart.” Dean stood handing her the beer.

Taking it but not drinking it she let the cool feeling against her skin ground her. “So what does that have to do with my daughter?”

“Our daughter.” Sam corrected. “But no one is going to lay a finger on her so long as I am around.”

Anna attempting to disagree opened her mouth only to shut it at knowing that Sam had put his life on the line tonight for both of them. Even after Anna took off with Grace he still took them back vowing to protect them no matter what. He had earned the back the right to call himself Grace's father. For now anyway.

“I’m afraid it’s more serious than that. It didn’t make sense before when I heard it, but when the child-”

“Her name is Grace.” Anna snapped.

“When Grace called you her father I understood why they wanted her so bad.” The new information turning mad the color drain from all the faces around the table. “Because she is your blood Sam, it is most likely they plan to somehow convince her to let him in. Though I haven’t figured out how they plan to get him out of the cage. Just that they need a vessel for him first.”

Sam’s first hit the table shaking it, his features twisted into something so otherworldly it was hardly recognizable. Everyone jumped eyes following as he stormed off. It seemed too impossible to be true, but after so long there was nothing that could be described that way anymore. So if it was true what did that mean for his daughter? He remembered all too well the literal hell that he had been through. He would not allow it to happen to Grace.

[schmerzerling]

Did dean ever get his heart transplant? I gotta know.

Yes. Absolutely. I had a sequel started and outlined where he does, and I went back to writing it whenever I missed Disneyland, but I haven’t worked on it in a long time. I just opened it for the first time in forever, and if it’s any indication of the pain I had planned, here’s the first line:

The good news is, Dean finally got bad enough that theybumped him up the transplant list.

The bad news is, Dean finally got bad enoughthat they bumped him up the transplant list.

Yeah, whoops.

HOWEVER, if it’s any consolation, when I opened that document, I found a couple little fic bits for the Your Heart Makes universe that I had written at some point and forgotten about? So uh, here’s one: 

Dean visits sick kids while he’s in the hospital because of-fucking-course he does. Since he andCas had started dating, Dean had been admitted to the hospital twice. Before,he’d been too sick to do much of anything. More pacemaker issues. Respiratoryproblems. Ideally, Dean’s job situation would mean he’s not exposed to thatmany germs from the people in the park, but Dean doesn’t exactly play it safeon his own time. Luckily, this third time he was admitted, he felt okay, wasjust in overnight as a precaution, but it meant that the whole time he was thereit was like he was blowing some kind of high-pitched whistle that only thenurses could hear.

They all came at him and wanted to tell him off for nottaking it easy or for eating too many fried foods or for drinking too muchcoffee. He took it gracefully until a dark-haired nurse with a sultry smileapproached to tell him that the kids down in Peds missed him, and then it wasall game-face and sullen determination. Dean didn’t like being here, hatedbeing strapped down to equipment, hated the way that hospitals made him feellike he was already dying, so Castiel could see the exact moment where hedecided to turn it into another exercise in self-destructive selflessness.

Cas was a part of this now. He couldn’t pinpoint the exactmoment he went from ‘unwilling tagalong’ to ‘reluctant co-conspirator,’ but ifhe had to try, it would probably be that first day back in the park, rightafter he learned about Dean’s heart condition. Right around when he kissed himon a ride that they shouldn’t have been riding at all. Dean, it seemed, neededto do these things, and since it was Sam’s role to tell him not to, Sam’s roleto object to the things they both knew he would do anyway, it fell on Castielto make sure he did them as safely as possible.

So when night fell, Castiel helped him to secure his leftarm in a sling so he didn’t forget himself and lift it above his head, then he strappeda paper mask over Dean’s mouth so he didn’t get anything nasty and catchingfrom a sick kid. And finally, it fell on him to follow behind Dean down thehallway, dodging nurses and wheeling his drips and monitors in an attempt to besomething approaching stealthy. Castiel figured out pretty quickly that thenurses must have been turning a blind eye to it anyway, because there wasabsolutely no way that no one would have noticed them by the time they made itto the elevator. They even shared the elevator car with a stout nurse who hid asmile behind her hand as Dean, red-faced, complained that Cas wasn’t willing tocarry his IV pole down two measly flightsof stairs.

It was quiet in the kids’ ward. A lot of them were settledinto their beds, but when Dean squeaky-wheeled his way inside, many of themperked up. It was clear many knew him--these were the kids who were obviously repeatoffenders. The whole ward was bright and overly cheery and the kids were paleor bald or skinny, and Cas felt himself taking a nosedive before he was evenall the way inside the room.

Naomi called what he did spirals.Little loops of bad thoughts that he got himself stuck in. She gave himbreathing exercises and thinking exercises and exercise exercises to try and work himself out of the bad places hegot into. And she taught him how to recognize when one was coming on.

That’s not really rational,she’d stop him in the middle of a story to say. That’s not what people really think about you.

Now, he recognized that it was silly to look at these kidsand pity himself. But he couldn’t help thinking of his two wasted years inno-man’s land, his two years wallowing in self-pity, his two years where a daydidn’t mean anything and if the earth had swallowed him up, he wouldn’t havecared, and he couldn’t have helped thinking the no one else would’ve either.Looking at kids like these, kids that had to fight ever day to just exist, kindof put things into perspective.

Dean was one of those kids once. He still hadn’t heard muchabout Dean’s childhood, but there were painted Disney murals on the walls, andthey struck a chord with something that Sam told him that first night. He couldsee little-boy Dean sitting in front of a television, watching 101 Dalmations, strapped to the sameclunky equipment he was right now and trying to make the best of his bad situation.Back then, he’d probably thought that when he was the age he is now, he’d havea healthy heart to sustain him.

And who was Cas, someone who so freely took advantage of histime here, to be with someone like Dean? Dean must’ve thought it sometimes,too. That Cas wasn’t strong enough for him. That Cas didn’t have the fortitudeto do more than survive when he washealthy enough to be living.

Naomi compared thoughts like that to a steam engine, andCastiel liked to think of his brain as the Disneyland Railroad, blastingstraight through Tomorrowland Station and right into the Primeval World. Exceptwith fewer dinosaurs, maybe. Naomi’s exercises did an okay job of slowingthings down, taking some of the coals off the fire—

“And this is my boyfriend, Cas.”

But nothing ever derailed the train quite like Dean. Cassnapped from whatever steep incline he’d been tumbling down and marveled againat the fact that that was so easy forDean. He took Castiel’s hand for a second, gave it a brief squeeze, and heldhis eye. Castiel could feel where Dean’s IV hooked into the back of his hand,so he tried not to squeeze back too much. But it was hard, because some part ofhim always wanted to hold onto Dean for forever.

Most of the kids didn’t give a shit who Cas was, didn’t givea shit about boyfriends or social stigmas, they only seemed to care that Casmight also be able to draw them in princess dresses or fighting monsters.

“Can you draw like Dean can?” One of the girls asked. Caslooked down at her. Visibly, there was nothing wrong with her, but she waspale, and her lips were a little bit chapped and dry. Castiel knew that he wasmentally assessing what was wrong with each of them, silently doing the is-this-one-going-to-get-better? tangothat Gabriel insisted everyone did but no one admitted to. They got a lot ofMake-A-Wish kids in the park. A lot.And the character actors were always amazingwith them—but the younger people working the rides. The seventeen- andeighteen-year-old kids who had just gotten their first summer jobs—they had noidea what to do with them. Cas didn’t really either. Definitely not to start.

It was always hard. Facing that. Facing something so damningin someone so young.

“No.” The little girl shuffled her feet. He wanted to say, I can’t do much of anything that would be ofinterest to you. I’m not even sure why I’m here. But that was probably alittle bit heavy for a little girl in princess jammies who was up past herbedtime. “I’m not very good at drawing.”

“Oh. I’m okay at it. Last year I won second in a art contestat Garcia’s. You know. The restaurant? I got a free burrito. But Dean’s betterthan me though.” Castiel nodded along. “Do you like horses? I can teach you howto draw horses.”

Castiel nodded again. He watched the little girl scamperback to her bed and grab paper and markers. And then he sat down, shut up, andlearned how to draw horses.

Dean was swamped with kids, smiling hugely behind his papermask, popping off caricatures left and right. Disney characters and otherwise.But Castiel took charge of just the one, and he followed her careful instructionsto produce about as good a horse as he had ever doodled alone.

By the time the nurses came around to break up their not-so-subtlerendezvous, Dean had won the heart of every kid twice-over, and Castiel had aquiet field of pretty horses, grazing in the moonlight, on top of the starklinoleum. The little girl yawned and hugged him and took the drawing with herwhen she climbed back in bed.

As they waved goodbye to the kids and walked, nursesupervised, out the door, Dean bumped him with his shoulder. Castiel, stiffly,bumped back.

“You made a friend,” he teased, that same winning smilecrinkling his eyes.

“Yes, well. I learned how to draw a horse.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“No shit.”

“Nothing quite so impressive as your artwork, I’m afraid.”

Dean blew a raspberry with his lips, took hold of Castiel’shand with his one free one. The rubber tubing of his IVs rubbed against Castiel’sforearm, and Dean’s hidden grin softened into just a smile.

“Sometimes just being there is enough, you know?” Heshrugged.

Castiel squeezed Dean’s hand.

“Yes,” he said. “I suppose it is.”

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Dancer in the Dark Author: sandares Artist: Arya Rating: Explicit Pairings: Dean/Cas Warnings/Tags: Human AU, mental health issues, suspended cop!dean, grief, alcoholism, dysfunctional family/relationships, death of parent(s), canon-typical violence Posting Date: 10/9/2017

Summary:  From an early age, Castiel remembers thinking that his mother was sad. Now, Castiel is struggling to empty out her house while trying to come to terms with his mother having Alzheimer's. When Castiel comes back home from a one-night stand with Dean and finds a body in the driveway, their lives become tangled up in the things they've both lost. They wash away the blood in the morning, but Castiel can't let go of the past, trying to remember everything that his mother is forgetting. Bad things always linger just out of sight, and in the end, some things are better left forgotten.

- - -

Castiel opens the door, blinking at the sunlight, and it takes him a while to recognize who he's looking at. He frowns. "How did you find out where I live?" he asks, and he knows he sounds rude.

"Uh," the man says, clearly flustered. "I'm actually—" he clears his throat, "I'm here to take your official statement regarding the death of Mr. Ovaska." The man gives him one of the business cards that he's been leaving behind. Dean Winchester.  "Can we talk inside?"

Castiel walks into the kitchen. He hears the door close behind Dean.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you. If you want to do this at the police station—" Dean quiets down, looking around the mess in the living room.

"I apologize; I've been distracted. I'm packing this place as quickly as I can."

Dean's eyes slide over the empty cardboard boxes piled in a corner by the half-empty bookshelves. He looks down at the drawers and cupboards in the middle of the room, all opened up, their contents sorted into high piles around the living room floor. Castiel's father's medals glint from the other side of the room, and Castiel wishes that he had never invited Dean inside. "I can see that," Dean says. "You got any coffee?"

"Yes," Castiel says, jerking into motion. The embarrassment crawls into his skin, and he pushes a hand through his unwashed hair. They wait in uncomfortable silence as the coffee boils, and when Castiel has two cups in his hands, he leads them into the dining room.

The photo albums are still on the dining table, and he can see Dean's eyes searching through them. How he never noticed that Dean was a cop is beyond him as it's overwhelmingly obvious in the way he looks around the room before he sits down.

Castiel closes the photo album on the photos of Uncle Zacharias staying with them in the summer of 1990. He pushes it further away on the table.

He takes a seat opposite Dean, who has a small notebook and a pen in his hands.

"I thought I already gave my official statement the first time around," Castiel says.

"Yes." Dean clears his throat. "There was a small mishap at the station and—we just want to be thorough."

"Of course."

"So—your movements on March 23rd." Dean fidgets with the pen, not meeting Castiel's eyes. Castiel furrows his brow.

"I had sex. Bad sex." Dean clears his throat again. "With you," Castiel clarifies.

"Yes, I—was it really that bad?" Dean looks up at him and then brings down his eyes. "Never mind. You don't have to answer that question." He crosses something off on his notebook and doodles on the corner. "What were your prior movements before you went to the bar, as specific as you can recall, walk me through it."