#I want. to be a nerd today.

[inktho]

🎯 critical hit

[somerandomcockroach]

[mikimeiko]

Highlights from my 3rd Disco Elysium playthrough

Bonus: Rotisserie Chicken HDB

[guardevoir]

100 days of art, 82/100 - Back on my Turian bullshit!

Dunno who this guy is yet; I was pondering Turian color schemes under the shower earlier and my brain went "hey what if chai latte colored" and I didn't have anything better to do, so!

I think he's pretty, so he'll probably stick around, but I don't have any solid plans yet.

[willowser]

katsuki jumps, startlingly, when you rub a hand up his back.

he's leaned too far down, bent over the counter at an angle that will give him an ache he'll complain about later, and his head whips up as you come to stand beside him. an e-mail on his phone is what previously had his full attention, but now he looks at you, eyes softening as you lean into his shoulder.

he's never been a very touchy guy. even after a year into your relationship, it's most often you reaching for his hand as you walk down the street; you pressing a kiss into his cheek while watching a movie on the couch; you running a hand through his hair as his breath steadies out beside you in bed.

it's not something you really complain about. you know how he is, knew before anything developed between the two of you, and you can't say it's a deal-breaker. there's little you know about his previous relationships or if he even had any, but you have the painful-gut feeling that affection just isn't something he's used to.

you press a smile into the sleeve of his shirt and his spine relaxes under your hand, finds that awful curve again. he watches you like he's waiting for something, tracing the tender details of your face.

"love you," you say, because do and you want to voice it aloud, put it into his mind even though you know he knows. as expected, his lips flatten into a wavering little line, shy suddenly, and your teeth wet the fabric of his shirt when you smile.

all you get is a little grunt in response and he dips his chin down in a wordless nod, accepting your lovey-dovey assault. it makes him feel a little helpless, you know, but you bring up an arm to wrap around him as he turns back to his phone, ears pink.

katsuki straightens with a dull pop!, stretching his arms up and allowing you to shuffle closer, so that your head is resting on his chest. you press your ear to it and wait, eyes closed, until the heavy promise of his heartbeat echoes like a drum in your ear. it's loud, and after a moment, your own falls into sync, right where it belongs.

"'s'wrong?"

"hm?" you glance up at him, the frown on his pink face, before breathing in the clean scent of his laundry soap. your laundry soap. and then you shake your head. "nothin'. just missed you."

"been home all day."

"i know," you sigh, letting your eyes fall shut again. the sound of his phone locking clicks and you can feel the slight down-slide of his sweatpants when he pockets it. "sometimes i miss you even though you're right here."

you expect — something; another grunt or laugh through his nose, a raspy little noise that voices his confusion. things like this can be hard for him; you know how he is, knew before anything ever developed between the two of you — but you don't think it makes him any less deserving.

katsuki steps back from you a little, and you feel the hesitant rise of his arm before you feel it. his hand comes up to your face — pink and scarred in your peripheral vision — and he tilts your head up, waits until you open your eyes.

when you do, it looks as if a million things are running through his head. his poker-face is good, it has to be, but you can see little bits of his vulnerability shining through. you wonder how long it's been since he showed it to anybody. he almost looks sad.

katsuki squeezes your cheeks until your lips pucker, and his frown deepens when you laugh. "y're so...damn weird."

that's along the lines of what you were anticipating: one of his teasing little insults, warm with a fire he's still learning how to kindle. you don't get the chance to say anything before he's kissing you, eyes shut tight, lashes brushing against your own.

you expect something soft, because affection is a fickle thing, from him — but his hand never falls from your face and his tongue is sliding with yours suddenly, a heated gesture that throws your heart out of whack. you let him kiss you as deeply as he can, until your back arches painfully backward over the counter as he leans into you.

when he pulls away, his lips are a little swollen and his cheeks are burning, as he presses one into yours. "i—jus'—" katsuki tries and then abandons it, a hand curling into the material of your shirt. "i get it." he murmurs, there, into the heated skin of your face, heart beating in time with yours.

things like this are hard with him — but he makes them so, so worth it.

[https-hunter]

As we know, Demetri and Hawk became friends again on December 19, 2018. That’s five days after the first spiderverse came out. Do we think they saw spiderverse together as a way to show that their friendship was back on track?

[miusato]

This is why I shouldn't be near any media because I will find a way to put my ship into different clothes and possibly in different au 😤😤😤

[baselicoc]

it’s really interesting to me that Gabriel checks in on his brother so much despite how Miguel can often act and that he is in-text called insecure and that he follows along with his various girlfriends interests and that he so often wears so many layers and that he has a cyberspace addiction and that his archetype in cyberspace is just himself (which could be the comic just making it easier for us to know who’s who, but what a boring way to take it). And how willing he is to fight and do good but also ‘neither of my sons were ever worth much in a fight’ and how he asks for help but also ‘i can take care of myself’. do you get me.

[rhysintherain]

@blackjackkent's liveblog of BG3 has inspired So Many Thoughts about the Emperor and Raphael and how they compare as characters.

It's come up that the Emperor's character writing could be intended to portray very different motivations based on how the player character responds to it, but personally I don't think that's it. At its core, I think the Emperor is being honest about its motivations: it only wants to survive. What it's not saying is that it will do anything to achieve that end, at the cost of anyone in its way. And the best tool it has to do that is the protagonist.

Its conversations with the protagonist always remind me of abusive relationship dynamics. it plays nice as long as that works, and changes tactics when nice doesn't get what it wants. It constantly reminds you that you need each other, that you couldn't survive without it, that it is the only one you can trust. It offers moments of vulnerability to lure you in, then tries to cut you off from any allies or courses of action it doesn't approve of.

The thing about abusive relationships is that they only turn violent and confrontational when the abuser doesn't get their way. Violence is a last resort, and most abusers prefer to manipulate people without it. Some people go years without discovering their abuser has the capacity for violence, because they never confront them on the control they exert.

And that's exactly how the Emperor relates to the protagonist. If you never question it, never choose a path it doesn't like, you never get pushback. As long as you play by its rules it has no reason to change tactics, because what it's doing is working.

It's only when the protagonist's aims clearly don't match its own that it resorts to threats. It's only when you call the Emperor's bluff, tell it you know it doesn't care about you, that it shows you the truth about its relationship with Stelmane.

Because the truth is, it only cares about its own survival and freedom. And it's very skilled at the game it's playing. It has a profound ability to judge what the protagonist needs to hear, and show them what they want to see. If you want to see a friend who transcends what a mind flayer is supposed to be, it plays that part flawlessly. If you see through that, it has other methods of control at its disposal.

And the Emperor is brilliantly written as a manipulator. It can convince you that it's been on your side all along. It leaves just enough doubt that you might never know the truth. It preys on trust, and exploits the protagonist's willingness to believe in the inherent goodness of people. It expresses trust and vulnerability to the protagonist, anticipating that they will return that trust in response, regardless of whether it can be trusted.

And the cool thing about Raphael is that he's a very similar type of character. He also knows that being nice gets you further than being dangerous. The difference between them is that Raphael isn't quite as good at it: he has a temper, and is quicker to drop the mask. He has an ego that won't let him tolerate even the slightest resistance without breaking character. He believes in bribery over trust, and it makes his act easier to see through. The protagonist can express the same doubt in both of them and get threats from Raphael and disappointment from the Emperor, which pushes them away from one and towards the other.

And one of the striking things about BG3 is the sheer range of dangerous people it throws at your party. You have the tyrant queen, who took power through betrayal and maintains it through disinformation. The power-hungry boss, who offers what you want only until his rise to power is threatened. The abusive parent, who sees his children as possessions who exist to entertain him. The political climber, who treats his loyalists as pawns in a long game of personal gain. The sadistic elite, who's never had to hide her cruelty to those she controls because that's what authority means in her social circle. The loving father, who cares so little for the rest of the world he'd burn it all down to keep his daughter safe.

It's all excellent writing, but the Emperor might be the masterpiece. You can play out the whole story without clearly seeing how it fits the pattern. It can be your loyal partner, standing at your side and protecting you from all those dangerous people.

But it doesn't have to be. If you question its protection and loyalty, it can also be your worst enemy, determined to use all your shared struggles and deepest secrets to tear you apart.

[andy-clutterbuck]

THE MURMURING - CABINET OF CURIOSITIES

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

could you elaborate your thoughts more on "but should we believe Wynne-Jones' Calcifer or the youkai/ayakashi of animanga are meant to be that kind of demon?" and "It's the same cultural disconnect that led so many Christian parents in the 90s to condemn Pokemon as satanic". Specially about Calcifer? Please?

I wish that when translating asian media, particularly anime, they would keep their non-translated nomenclature, it always translates to "demon" or whatever alternative we have.

Well part of the issue is that our word "demon" comes from the Greek word δαίμων or daimōn, which is the word used in the New Testament, but it is not a word invented by the New Testament writers. Here is an excerpt from the Oxford Reference about it:

Etymologically daimōn means ‘divider’ or ‘allotter’; from Homer onwards it is used mainly in the sense of performer of more or less unexpected, and intrusive, events in human life. In early authors, gods, even Olympians, could be referred to as daimŏnĕs. Rather than referring to personal anthropomorphic aspects, however, daimōn appears to correspond to supernatural power in its unpredictable, anonymous, and often frightful manifestations. So, the adjective daimonios means ‘strange’, ‘incomprehensible’, ‘uncanny’. Hence daimōn soon acquired connotations of Fate. Hesiod introduced a new meaning: the deceased of the golden age were to him ‘wealth‐giving daimones’ functioning as guardians or protectors. This resulted in the meaning ‘personal protecting spirits’, who accompany each human's life and bring either luck or harm. A lucky, fortunate person was eudaimōn (‘with a good daimon’: already in Hesiod), an unlucky one was kakodaimōn (‘with a bad daimon’: from the 5th cent. bc). Centuries later, Christian theologians, concentrating on their negative aspects, saw in daimones the true nature of the pagan gods: they were the embodiment and source of evil and sin.

With this in mind, it makes sense that for translators, the most sophisticated translation for any kind of supernatural weird little creature would be "demon" or "daemon." Especially in a modernist, materialist society that views Judeo-Christian demons as merely one mythology out of many.

Calcifer is a very interesting case, because while he is called a demon in the Japanese Studio Ghibli adaptation, he is also called a demon in the original book by Welsh author Diana Wynne Jones. What many people don't realize is that Mrs. Jones was highly educated, having studied at Oxford under the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. Her husband was also a scholar of Chaucer. Unfortunately, I think because she was writing children's fantasy in the 70s and 80s, people don't think her work warrants much deeper analysis.

As with all her stories, I think she brought a special kind of cleverness to the table when writing Calcifer that is first exemplified by his name.

"Calcifer" is a common noun, referring to sea creatures like anemones which construct their own shells from Calcium Carbonate, much like how Calcifer constructs the moving castle.

"Calcifer" resembles the Latin model of "Lucifer" which means "bringing light" or "light bringer," but rather than "light" she's substituted the Latin root for "limestone" (calcis), which is also made of Calcium Carbonate.

You know what's neat about Calcium Carbonate? It doesn't burn.

Following this thread through to Calcifer's backstory:

Calcifer was a falling star that Howl intercepted, which slightly resembles Satan's origin story as a fallen angel of light. However, Diana Wynne Jones knew perfectly well that Christian demons are not really falling stars, so we can know she did not intend to write Calcifer as a Judeo-Christian demon. More likely, I think she was paying homage to classics such as Paradise Lost.

Calcifer strikes a bargain with Howl for his heart, which I consider an homage to Faust by Goethe, in which the titular character can be said to have devoured beautiful young women.

As a character, Calcifer is very morally grey and often seems in a league above the other characters as far as stakes and decision-making. This is very characteristic of the mythical creatures of Celtic legend, which are still a very present background element of Welsh culture today, much like the trolls and elves of Scandinavian culture. Many of these mythical creatures are referred to as demons, even though they do not align with the Judeo-Christian definition of a demon. Yes, they can be evil or tricky, but they can also be helpful, lucky, or funny. Mostly, they are volatile. Faeries, boggarts, goblins, elves, sea monsters, and more have all been called demons in Welsh folklore.

This could be due to the early interaction between the Welsh and the Romans (compared to, say, the Irish who kept up their Druidism for much longer), and consequently Christians. I know from Scandinavian folklore that the meshing of Pagan culture with Christian newcomers usually becomes very weird very quickly, with the resulting mythology resembling neither party.

Tl;dr Calcifer is the product of a Welsh upbringing and a classical education, and is explicitly not a demon in the Judeo-Christian sense.

As for Pokemon in the U.S., it's mainly a translation issue. Word got around that lots of Pokemon are based on youkai, which gets translated to "demon" in English, even though they are not Judeo-Christian demons and are much closer to the above cited faeries and goblins. Voila, Satanic Panic 2.0.

[stockholmgf]

this too shall pass 😄

but this too shall pass 😢

[rowenabean]

went to aussie for a week and apparently while I was over there a switch flipped and I am no longer on read-six-books-per-week sabbatical but have reached actually-think-about-the-future sabbatical which is a welcome if somewhat baffling switch

[elkkiel]

still in my crazy fucking nightmare mode workload rn, but just popping in to say. i just learned that you can paste shapes in-line with text, in InDesign and i feel like i discovered a new spell in the darkest of dark arts (adobe software tricks)

[scruncheduppaper]

you know its getting bad when i start thinking about ford and then catch myself thinking “man… i feel guilty for preferring him over stan… i don’t wanna add to his inferiority complex” and then i realise neither of them are real and then im like. i should touch grass probably

[astrxealis]

if i do "?" in text i'm genuinely tilting my head like a dog if i do "!!" my eyes are sparkling and i am figuratively wagging my tail if i am IN ALL CAPS i'm screaming from the top of a mountain with all the power i can with love and the strength of RAGHHH within me