#I want to stress that people obviously have the right to be offended and I don't judge them

[ultimate-muscle]

Since Kinnikuman is getting a new series, I've had some concerns. The property is understandably a product of its time, and it's chocked full of outdated stereotypes and unsettling imagery (Brocken Jr. and Geronimo's messy heritage comes to mind), which is one of the reasons why it was never fully localized in the west, to begin with. So I'd wonder if they'll ever try to fix those problems or consider possibly hiring sensitivity readers for their works. Sadly, I doubt it would ever happen; but I honestly wish the authors could work around some of their cast to adapt to current times. What do you think should happen?

I think the old work should stand.

It was a product of its time and culture, and it's been edited as necessary by the authors over time (current volumes have been censored accordingly, and the worst has already been removed). The manga is problematic, but I agree with companies like Warner Brothers and Disney; better to keep things as a record of the past than to remove them or change them. That being said:

A new anime needs to make changes.

The issue I have answering this is more 'do I talk about ideal changes for us in the West' or 'realistic and needed changes for Japan'. I think really it's two different questions, so I'll talk about what I think should happen - and will probably happen - for Japan. That is to say . . . not much. I don't think much is needed.

It's easy to remove Nazi symbols from Brocken, and his current design lacks those symbols anyway. They can easily just remove references to him being a Nazi, and instead he can just be a 'soldier'. Kinnikuman Great can go back to his original red design. Ramenman cannibalising a person can just go back to the original gore (or a broken back). The "Roots" arc can be generally edited or left out.

I think if people have a problem with how nationalities and ethnicities are depicted, and we're talking about Japanese modern standards of racial sensitivity . . . they might be disappointed. For the culture in which it's written, I think it's been pretty great with diversity and representation. We have a black man as a hero. We have a native American as a really inspirational character. We have Americans and Russians shown in positive lights. We have people of all sorts coming together under the banner of 'friendship'.

I think Geronimo is still going to have his headdress and go "owahahaha" in battle, and Ramenman is still going to have stereotypical eyes like a South Park character, and . . . while I don't agree with it, I think we just have to accept that it's a Japanese anime, and that for a Japanese anime (bar the situation regarding female characters), it's going to be pretty ideal.

Now, in terms of the West . . .

I think the best option is to leave the animation exactly as it stands (unless they somehow did keep the swastikas and such), and edit the dialogue in the dub to make it more appropriate. The "owahahaha" cry can be something else. The inappropriate jokes or comments can be made more palatable. The references to Nazis (if left in) can be changed to comments about soldiers.

Now, don't get me wrong, this raises a whole other debate about whether to be true to the source and whether this would be censorship . . . personally, I'm a massive fan of Hetalia and Ultimate Muscle, so I wouldn't even an object to a total script change (so long as it kept true to characters and story), but I think it's the best option to avoid overly being offensive. Let's face it, though, there's not much anime out there that's perfect with different ethnicities and nationalities, and none of them get changed for the west.

That's not to say it's right, but it's also not to say it's wrong. I don't really feel comfortable judging Japan by Western standards, and - even then - I remember things being acceptable in Spain (as one example) that would never be acceptable in Britain, so even 'the West' is an extremely vague and not too useful term.

tl;dr I think designs can be tweaked, and - keeping close to the manga, and not the original anime - a lot of the worst will be absent anyway, especially if they stick to the edited manga. If I'm going to be completely honest, I think if people get offended by Ramenman and Geronimo, they probably are better off reading/watching a different source than lamenting what could/should be in a perfect world. It's not so much a product of its time, but also its country, and I think we all get a bit too sensitive in modern day. Brocken is a whole can of worms, but the rest just . . . is. I'd personally keep it as it stands.

[moodymisty]

I’m not exactly a writer by any means, and this isn’t a request, I just need someone to hear me out on this before I go insane. Space Marine 2 related but I don’t think it’s got spoilers, and I’ll keep it very vague. This idea has been rotting in my head for the entire time I’ve played the game and I feel like imma explode

Setting: Space Marine 2 timeline

Imagine you’re Titus’ personal serf, or at the very least you’re tasked with cleaning and caring for that sector of Astartes rooms (with other serfs of course - at first). Titus used to be a captain so I don’t think he’d be unaccustomed to it, but you happen to be one of the first people to show him genuine kindness, even if at first it’s a bit out of fear of him. I’ll be real tho he’s got this Aura™️ about him that makes me think once he’s interacted with you the first time, you realize he’s actually not an…overly-zealous Space Marine on the verge of throwing you out the door, or spewing insults your way on how your lack of efficiency offends him AND the Emperor.

You’re probably still prepping his room or doing final rounds, and he returns from the first mission and finds you there. After deeply apologizing for the lack of urgency on your tasks, deep bow and voice near shaking, he dismisses it with a wave and says none necessary, with no demeaning sneers or stabbing glares you’re used to receiving, no threats of reprimand or orders to leave his sight.

In a bit of a shock, you dare to glance up to him ever so slightly, to see who this surprisingly calm & somewhat tired-sounding Astartes is, and boom eye contact. You have a “oh no he’s HOT” moment, but also can’t help but notice how…tired his eyes look. Maybe tired isn’t the right word. But anyways you bow one more time and hurriedly make your way out to your other duties. You can’t help but think about him tho. Uh fast forward, you probably bump into him a couple more times, and each time a few more words are exchanged between you two. You obviously have no idea who he actually is - no idea what he’s been through or what he’s been accused of. He’s just a new marine on the ship you serve. But you can’t help but feel he’s got the weight of some great world on his shoulders. The look in his eyes. The tone at which he says some things. Guarded, almost. However, he doesn’t seem to be as on edge when speaking with you, or annoyed with the small talks. So, you feel encouraged to keep these talks happening.

In Titus’ view, you’re just a mere serf, and I think that gives him some reprieve — talking to someone who doesn’t know. No suspicion. No prying questions (or digging more). Just casual small exchanges between two humans, even if one is a genetically engineered demi-god. And it’s…nice. Like he breath a little, even just for a second, without worrying about what is stressing him out.

Eventually when he comes back from another mission, perhaps a more..taxing mission, you decide to have balls of adamantium and bring him some kind of drink that you and your fellow serfs enjoy now & then as a way to help ease themselves to sleep (I imagine it’s just some kind of hot tea…I love hot tea. In some Giant Astartes size cup). Obviously you KNOW Astartes don’t need this. They literally have to eat space mush bags of protein just to keep up with the demand of their bodies. (And I’m not 100% on the lore but I think they can still consume regular food??)

you just want to show a little bit of kindness to someone in what is a very, very harsh world, and Astartes are, beneath all that augmented muscle and training, humans. Titus seems more so than the others. He showed you that rare kindness from the first interaction. So, maybe you can return a little more kindness to him, since you doubt it’s hardly something he encounters anywhere else.

Anyway I’ll try to wrap up this idea oops I don’t mean to go on a tangent anyway this small gesture turns into you both becoming closer. There’s nights you just stay with him, no talking. You know it won’t help. And you know he can’t/wont say what this great burden on his shoulders is. You just want him to know you’re there for him. Maybe you stroke his hair gently to soothe him to his scheduled very small amount of rest. Maybe he does just want some casual company, someone whose conversations are as easy and light as breathing air. eventually becoming something he looks forward to when on missions, someone to think of when especially beaten down by enemies, his one place of solace he’s had in many. many. years. and yeah uh eventually yall smooch smooch and progresses to full on you gettin dicked down and now you’re both in this relationship you can’t put a label on exactly but you can’t imagine being with anyone but him and vice versa. I can imagine Titus also being a bit thrown off from these feelings (Astartes brainwashing crashed.exe), but he doesn’t…dislike it. And the further the relationship progresses the more he allows himself to feel them. Leading to the dicking down of a lifetime. They’re both letting themselves be a little selfish. Something/someone that’s theirs and theirs alone. Just this once.

or something like that. that’s just a bare bones outline and can be altered as anyone sees fit. but this is my little version.

sorry for the novel.

- 😈🐈‍⬛

God I would do fucking unspeakable things for Titus, let me clean his quarters all day, and then when he gets back I can spend time on my back worship the Emperor with him ❤️

I love the idea of Titus falling for someone that doesn’t know about his past or even better simply doesn’t care. He just wants to move on.

[leilakisakabiri]

World Cup (Gavi)

Summary: Gavi is selected for the national team and you’re there to celebrate with him.

Warning(s): None

A/N: Please send in any requests if you have any. 

Word Count: [1193]

You rushed out of your car, knocking on the door urgently.

“Y/n. Hello dear, come in!” Gavi’s mother ushered you inside.

“Hi, did I miss it?” You asked nervously.

Today was the day that Gavi would find out if he got selected for the World Cup team, and you had promised him that whatever the decision, you would be there to support him. You knew that it was an honor to play for your country and that he wanted it more than anything, it was all he had dreamed about since he first kicked a football.

You had been stuck in an exam for the past two hours and had just been released, rushing over right away. Originally, your exam had been scheduled for three hours prior but due to a plumbing issue in the building where the test was supposed to be, they had to push it back an hour, leaving you with barely enough time to finish the exam and drive to Gavi’s.

“You just made it, we’re working on setting up the broadcast. Gavi’s upstairs.” She spoke.

You thanked her before hurrying up the stairs.

You knocked on the door and heard his voice through the door.

“I’ll be done soon, just give me a minute.”

“It’s Y/n.” You spoke.

You heard shuffling, and a second later the door opened to reveal a very stressed-out Gavi.

“I thought you weren’t coming.”

You instantly felt the guilt wash over you, “I’m so sorry there was an issue with my exam, and it got pushed back, so I barely had time to make it here.”

He pulled you into his room, sitting on the bed, “That’s fine. Thanks for coming, I’m glad you’re here.”

You smiled, sitting next to him, grabbing his hand that was playing with his hoodie string, “No problem. I got you.”

You both fell into silence until you noticed him biting the inside of his cheek and furrowing his brows excessively.

You leaned over, placing your arm over his shoulders, “Hey, everything’s going to be okay. You’re already so talented, and no one can take that away from you. Plus, you’re only eighteen and you already have such a bright future ahead of you.”

He leaned into your touch, “I guess. I’ve just wanted this for as long as I can remember, and I feel like I worked hard, but I don’t know, what if it’s not enough?”

“Mmm, yah I didn’t think of that, you’re probably right.” You nodded, agreeing with him.

Gavi pulled away from you looking almost offended.

You laughed, “I’m just kidding obviously. Your family loves you, and I do too, regardless of what happens. You’ve done everything right. It’s out of your hands now.”

“But what about Spain, what if they don’t love me?” He questioned.

“Well, if you don’t have haters, have you really even achieved anything?”

He contemplated your words, “That’s kinda deep.”

You smiled sweetly, “I know. Now c’mon, your mom said she almost had the broadcast set up.”

You followed him out of the room and walked downstairs.

Almost everyone was in the living room, crowded onto the couch, as they counted down the minutes till the program started.

You stood by the doorway and watched as they all moved to accommodate Gavi, making him sit in the middle of the couch as they reached over to reassure him.

You knew that even if he didn’t get picked today it would be okay because he had such a great support system, and people who would love him regardless of what happened.

He looked up at you, motioning for you to join him, scooting over to make space for you between him and his mother.

You felt bad separating him from his family, wanting them to be able to celebrate together if he got picked, so you opted to sit on the floor in front of the couch, resting against Gavi’s legs.

“Sit up here.” He urged.

You waved him off, letting him know you were fine on the floor.

Aurora came to join you a few seconds later, and the broadcast officially began.

You felt Gavi reach down and grab your hand as the news reporters started speaking, placing it on his knee.

He gave your hand a squeeze, and you gave a quick squeeze back.

It was time.

The announcers began by talking about different theories and tactics before the official selection announcements began.

You all sat silently with labored breaths as you heard the first national team player be announced.

There was a round of cheers when Pedri’s name was called up.

The draft continued and soon there were only around ten spots left to be selected.

You felt yourself growing nervous; you couldn’t imagine how Gavi felt. He had an immense pressure on him, and you couldn’t fathom how he was able to handle it all.

You looked up at him and watched as he chewed on his bottom lip, sitting on the edge of his seat, nerves on full display.

You felt his hand squeeze your hand again, not being able to control his anxiety, and you have him an equally hard squeeze back, letting him know that it would be okay.

You began to pray that he would get chosen, you knew that he deserved it and that he would do amazing things if he got the chance.

You stared intently at the screen, your heart thudding against your chest.

“The player selected for number nine for the national team is, Pablo Gavira.”

Immediately, cheers and screams erupted around you. You were smiling so wide it hurt, clapping your hands, cheering along.

You reached over to hug Aurora, the both of you ecstatic for him.

You got up, seeing him being hugged and showered with praise from his parents.

You saw him break apart with a huge smile on his face, his eyes shimmering with happiness.

He looked over at you and his smile mirrored your own.

Before you knew it, he had picked you up, spinning you around in excitement.

You let out a loud laugh, squealing as he kept spinning.

He had one arm wrapped around you, the other making a fist in the air as he celebrated.

He gently put you down and you grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him, unable to hide your excitement, “Congratulations! You deserve it so much. I knew you could do it!”

You pulled him into a hug, squeezing his body, the pure joy radiating from him immensely lifting your mood.

“What was the pep talk for before then?” He questioned once you broke apart.

You rolled your eyes playfully, “Oh that, I just had to make sure you didn’t get too cocky. But I guess that’s out the window now.”

He grinned looking down at you, “Don’t worry amor, I’ll stay humble. Just for you.”

You snorted, not even bothering to reply as you saw him become swarmed by his family and friends, all wanting to congratulate him.

Yep, he definitely was going to let it get to his head, but you just had to make sure you were there to knock him down a peg every so often.  

[sonicblueartist]

Rayman x Reader

A/N: He is the Rayman from the games, there is no other choice for this story, sorry~ But you can think either romantic or platonic for this :)

I'll try to make this as fluffy as I can. My angst loving soul don't know how to write fluff lmao

Writing Rayman from the games is something else for me. In really good ways

Nothing written in this story has anything to do with games plot. I wrote it all myself ;)

Summery: We both try to escape from some weird creatures

Warnings: Intense cursing

Words: 2.6k

Masterlist

Taglist: @blorbostation @eateableworm @livelaughluvvfaithyy @darkchanx @astoraa @shiroisotto64

Btw does anyone want to be in the tag list?

Dear anons; I would really appreciate it if you could choose an emoji while sending your asks and requests (and stick with it) so I can tell you apart. Thank you~

Couldn't choose between all these moments for the gif so I added every one of them (probably gonna regret that later lol Because I no longer have any good gifs for him any more but whatever.)

Seeing Rayman angry is just a cherry on top.

I am going to post this but I feel bad for not writing fluff/comfort/pure lovely moments like I planned to, so I might write down something cute for him soon~

I really wanted to write something cartoon-ish too because, you know, Rayman is very much 'cartoon-ish', he is made for that. I guess at least I made that come true instead of a full fluff.

Also, I may have relieved my exam stress on him 👀💦

On The Run

What's happening? You don't have a clue. You only knew that Rayman ran past you in the forest ten minutes ago without even stopping to say hi, he looked really panicked too you have to say. And quickly after Rayman's hand came back, finding your own and quickly sweep away your taken aback body before the spears met with you. And, well, you were suddenly included in a chase you don't have a clue about.

You two run for your dear little lives, in the meantime dodging a few spears thrown to pierce through your guts and quickly jump behind a few bushes out of breath. Hearing angry yells and screams increasing you both held your breath in. A few seconds later all of them ran past you. You heaved a relieved sigh.

What with this all about? Well, obviously you don't have all the details but you knew someone who did. You can finally question him about all this. With a scowl you turn to face him, finding him invading your personal space, not that you minded (it was funny, really), sticking to your side desperately, maybe that's not the right word to use but he was definitely, on purpose or not, sticking to you like a little kid would do to their mother, still eyeing for any intruders. If you weren’t so angry you would find that cute. Honestly at that moment, you didn't give a fuckthought. Your blood boils in anger. You weren't mad at him. You were tired and worried. Okay, maybe your tired body turning your worry into anger a bit. But you are angry at his reckless side. How wouldn't you be? You know he did something again that bothered these people. (It could also be the fact that because all people on this planet are either crazy or whatever) But it's not like he is doing that on purpose. But he still needs to be more mindful of his surroundings.

You whisper shouted, nudging his chest with your finger, causing him to look at you, "What the fuck did you do this time Rayman?!" You panthed out with a glare. Asking nicely? What is that?

He stared at you surprised (maybe a bit hurt) and huffed out, "What do you mean this time? I didn't do anything!" He scoffed, a hand over his heart with an offended tone.

You rolled your eyes at that and glanced outside, you quickly duck seeing more of them walking past the bush. You cursed under your breath. Thankfully they were dumber than they look.

You glanced at him, "Why do they want you?" You whispered with a hiss.

He smirked, "Who knows! I mean I can't blame them. Everyone wants me!" Here he goes again, you were being dead serious and he starts joking.

You stared at him with the most dumbfounded and sour expression you ever weared, "They fucking want your guts out, you idiot! Don't start with me with those cheesy lines!”

He mushed his lips and stared at you. You stared back with a raised brow. He couldn't hold his stare much longer with how you're glaring at him and finally grumbled out defeated, hiding away from your intense stare, "Okay, okay fine! It might be... a little bit my fault."

You scoffed, "A little bit?”

"I admitted didn't I?”

"What did you do?"

He avoided you with a comedic sweat, "Ahhh…”

"Rayman. What Did You Do?”

"You're going to be so mad." He chuckled nervously.

You can't be more mad then you already are. But again, your expression softened with how actually nervous he looked about all this. You knew he felt guilty. You know him after all. You let out a long silent sigh and reached out to hold his hands, pressing your thumbs over the back of them, kind of stroking to ease him up, "Rayman, I promise I will not yell at you anymore then I already did. Just tell me. I need to know." You sounded more like reassuring yourself then him. Did you forgive him? No? You don't know what you are even forgiving him about! But you did actually soften up on him.

He didn't believe that but confessed anyway, "I uh... might... accidentally woke up a whole civilization??" He sounded unsure of himself.

You stared at him, and he stared back.

"What... the fuck?" What does that suppose to mean?

He laughed, "I said the same thing until you find me and drag me away, my divine savior~" Wasn't that the opposite?

You sighed and grabbed the bridge of your nose, "I feel like I am gonna regret asking this but... how?"

He tapped his chin, "Well, I also have no idea! I was walking around the forest a few hours ago then I found myself in the underground. I guess the ground may have shifted or the place I was standing in collapsed. Either way I find myself exploring the cave to find a way out and, well, that's how I find the burrow. And here we are!" He continued despite seeing your progressive disturbed expression, "They were really aggressive and grumpy, I think they want some kind of revenge for disturbing their sleeping ritual or something—”

You reach your hand and shut him up with a tired face, "Okay, I think that's enough information. We are gonna think of something now. We need to avoid them and find a way back to send them whatever place they come crawling from. Okay..." You muttered to yourself.

Rayman grabbed your hand off of his mouth and muttered your name.

"Not now, I am thinking.”

"But-”

You sushed him, "No, nope, sush, no talking! I don't wanna listen! Just lemme think!”

He stared at you unamused but his expression quickly changed to something nervous. He called out your name again this time a bit louder.

You groaned, rubbing your face, "Ray, What part of "be quiet" don't you understand? What do you want?! You want them to find us?!”

He choked out, "Ahh, about that…”

"Look I only wanted a peaceful day today, getting chased by a crazy herd, not what I had in mind- annnd.... They find us, didn't they?" You sighed.

He nodded, "Pretty much." Soon enough all kinds of sharp-tipped spares were extended towards from all sides. You both quickly raised your hands in the air, surrounded by them. You cursed under your breath not amused at all.

"Well, this could have gone much worse.”

You soon find yourselves in a cell, soon to be turned into a chewing toy. Surrounded by many of them readying the meal you will be in today.

"You have to jinx it, didn't you?" Before he can open his mouth again you threatened showing a rock, "If you open your mouth one more time I swear I’ll force this inside your mouth—”

He raised his hand, "Jeez, alright, alright. I am sorry! What got into you today?” He knew you wouldn't actually do that. You love him too much for that. (But, did you have it in you? Yes. Would you actually do that if he was someone else? Most definitely. Is he afraid of this fact? Absolutely. He definitely know to not underestimate you.) He couldn't help but admit that it sounded so absurd coming from you in that moment though. It also shouldn't amused him but it did.

You forced a short laugh, "What got into me? Oh, lemme think." You sarcastically mumbled, mocking him and tapped your chin as if you were thinking.

He frowned, not letting you start sorting it all out, "Okay, okay. I get it. I said sorry, didn't I? It was lame of me to even ask that. Sorry for trying to be nice.” He stuck his tongue out playfully.

"A sorry not gonna save us from becoming a MEAL OF THE DAY!!" You groaned.

He hummed and shrugged, "I wouldn't worry much. After all this isn't the first time I was imprisoned.”

You stared at him, "We saved your ass when you were imprisoned."

"Saved me?" He smirked, "If I remember correctly, which I know I am, you and Globox were also imprisoned for the sake of saving me, I am touched really. Though it was a weak plan, assuming being held captive was part of your idea~"

You grumbled grimacing, "It was Globox's idea. I didn't have anything better to do so I just followed along. BUT we did save your ass didn't we? That's what counts! Besides, I'm not seeing you having any bright ideas!!”

"Who said I didn't have any?" He grinned, noticing your pause.

You give him a face, "If you had a plan this whole time... WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO?!" God, so that’s why he has been acting so relaxed! He has always been some kind of a laid back person, but this would be too much (Not counting the fact that he knows when to strike). In fact, he should have been happy that he had a reasonable explanation for this situation because you were about to slap him hard for how careless he had been so far and how careless he had been all day.

"Calm down! It was a work in progress and now I am not gonna jinx it again. So, are you in or not?”

You give him a side glare at him and turn away.

He sighed, "Look, I am sorry. Sincerely, coming from the deepest of my heart. I really didn't mean to cause all this. It's also my fault that you are involved in my mess too. So, at least let me help to fix it, okay? You can kick my ass after this." He kind of dragged you away, yes, but it was to save you and you were thankful that he did (how wouldn't you?) but that doesn't mean he is also the one to start all these.

You heaved a sigh, and shook your head with a soft smile, "Lead the way, eggplant." You grinned seeing his little eye roll. You definitely gonna remember the last thing he said.

“I will save us. That’s a promise.” He sounded even more genuine.

“Yeah, yeah. You better be. I don’t wanna end up as a snack before bedtime. So, care to tell me the plan?”

He grinned mischievously, a determined glint in his eyes, "You will find out soon enough. You know me. It's not that complicated to figure out. Even better when you know they are not too smart to figure out."

You raised a brow not fond of him still depriving you of an explanation. But you guessed it was better to leave like that seeing those creatures still roaming all around.

Soon after your 'nice' conversations you both find yourselves tied up together in a cauldron full of water with a fire burning underneath. The creatures throwing chopped vegetables on you.

Your unamused expression hardened, "How much longer are we going to wait?" You grumbled. "They are slowly cooking us alive!"

"Yeah, I won't be a good dinner for them. You have more areas where they can chew off." You swear he was laughing behind you. You growled and hit him in the head with your own, you had no other option. Your arms were tied. "Don't start again! I'm serious! I'm starting to get worried. My feet are burning!”

He hissed in pain, "Sorry, force of habit... or maybe coping... either way..." he took a sharp breath, "My plan gonna work."

"You are not even doing anything! What kind of plan is that? Just admit already that you have no idea how we can get out of this station!”

"No, because I do. I'm just waiting for the right moment.”

You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, yeah. And I believe that. I am sure you do-- Wait a fucking moment." You hissed. You can't belive you forget about his ability, "You fucking have control all over your body! Whatever the floaty, gravity bending thing you do! You can easily get out of this rope!! They only tied our bodies, not hands or feet! Fuck! Why didn't you do something about this earlier Rayman?! Are you trying to piss me off on purpose! I swear---" Your words are stuffed inside your mouth, literally. One of the creatures got annoyed (or tired) of your talking and harshly pushed an apple in your mouth. Your eye twitched in annoyance. Rayman glanced back with a stuffed laugh. Okay, maybe you did deserve this but you are not gonna admit that. You gave him a death glare and he quickly looked away. But you still heard his stuffed snickers and feel his shaking body.

He nudges your side with his hand and your eyes quickly widen, "For your concern, ya think I would forget about something my own body capable of since forever? I already handled that. And for your nice question, like I said, I am one step ahead of you, darling~" he quickly hid the key before one of the creatures could see and cautiously examined the surroundings carefully.

He whispered, "When I came back here there was no way out of this place but the hole I fell down from. Thankfully, I was able to crawl back out but there is no sight of that hole anymore so I am gonna assume they blocked it. So there is only one option left for us to choose. What we're gonna do is, use the real door. The one I couldn't pass before. And for that we needed the key. Though one of us is gonna need to distract them while the other opens the door. Then we both escape and lock them in here, like it should have been." You're gonna kick his ass for not telling you about this sooner and made you believe that he actually didn't have any clue. Though you didn't know which one is good, his acting for the sake of the creatures (you have no idea what they are) not notice? Or him playing with you just for fun. Actually... you were happy that he did have a plan. Because it would be the worst tragicomic death in the hero's history.

His eyes widened when he felt your weight on his back... more than normally. You two were back to back forcefully pressed together yeah but... you were leaning on him? In relief? Comfort? He didn't know. But he couldn't help his lips turn into a soft smile.

"Well, I might ruin our moment here..." he trailed off. "I love hot baths as much as the next person but we should get moving. I don't think I like vegetable soup especially if we are in it.”

He felt the vibration of your laugh on his back causing his smile to widen. He glanced back at you with a smirk, his hand helping you to remove the red apple as he whinked.

"You ready to kick some little ass?" Those green creatures were nearly half of your height. You still can't believe how you two get caught that easily. You two were unprepared. But this time will be different.

You smirked, "It's always so nice to fight alongside you.”

"That's good to hear because I really needed that." He hummed as he slowly unwrapped the tight rope from around both of you, "You know, thinking our situation it's both humiliating and funny as hell. It could be our little secret. How's that sound?”

"Like heaven, and also the thought of what I can do after I get back home. Sleep all day long. Sounds good, huh?" You snickered knowing that's exactly what he will do too.

"After kicking my ass?”

You held back a laugh, "You want to be beaten up that much?” You pressed your back on his on purpose this time with a smirk.

He glanced back at you, "I think all the fighting we are gonna do here will be enough.”

"Agreed." You both jumped out of the cauldron within a fighting stance, raising up your fists.

You bawled, "Who wanna have some of these?" You showed your fists.

The creatures stood staring. Soon all screamed a war cry running towards you. You two smirked and launched.

[qoldenskies]

in most bad future timeline interpretations i see people make leo and raph close with no or very little complications, which is always fun and cute, but also considering how resolving their conflict is so central to the movie, i really like to imagine that in the bad timeline they never did. give me future leo and raph that degraded so so horribly that their relationship was unsalvageable. wouldnt it make that so heartbreaking, for f!raph to die before they ever get to resolve this decades long running conflict because the stress of the apocalypse tore them apart?

for the record its a big reason i (in cvd in particular but also in general) like to posit the idea of donnie dying first and not raph, just because the idea of leo looking into the eyes of his older brother who WARNED him the day this all started that this would happen and having to live with that guilt would be so painful. would it be worse if raph blamed him, or if he didn't judge him at all, and tried to reach out because he understood the kind of weight this would have on leo, only for leo to pull away and make it worse out of so much shame and anger, because it's so much easier to direct that towards someone else in his extremes of grief? yelling at him that he was right, doesn't he want to rub it in?????? (and of course raph would be so horrified and offended by the idea of it, and it'd only make things worse! raph can be really temperamental and impatient he's not a saint, and with things being so high-stress... yeah!)

wouldnt it be painful if, when f!raph died, leo found himself utterly horrified by the fact that he doesnt really have the time or energy to grieve at all? is it because he's still in survival mode or just because of how rocky their relationship was? does he feel like a monster? is f!raph's death the thing that really propels him fully towards responsibility?

and like obviously, how would this all affect mikey, who wants nothing more than to see his family get along????

do u see my vision

[kaylaz-world-00]

Rayman x Reader

A/N: He is the Rayman from the games, there is no other choice for this story, sorry~ But you can think either romantic or platonic for this :)

I'll try to make this as fluffy as I can. My angst loving soul don't know how to write fluff lmao

Writing Rayman from the games is something else for me. In really good ways

Nothing written in this story has anything to do with games plot. I wrote it all myself ;)

Summery: We both try to escape from some weird creatures

Warnings: Intense cursing

Words: 2.6k

Masterlist

Taglist: @blorbostation @eateableworm @livelaughluvvfaithyy @darkchanx @astoraa @shiroisotto64

Dear anons; I would really appreciate it if you could choose an emoji while sending your asks and requests (and stick with it) so I can tell you apart. Thank you~

Couldn't choose between all these moments for the gif so I added every one of them (probably gonna regret that later lol Because I no longer have any good gifs for him any more but whatever.)

Seeing Rayman angry is just a cherry on top.

I am going to post this but I feel bad for not writing fluff/comfort/pure lovely moments like I planned to, so I might write down something cute for him soon~

I really wanted to write something cartoon-ish too because, you know, Rayman is very much 'cartoon-ish', he is made for that. I guess at least I made that come true instead of a full fluff.

Also, I may have relieved my exam stress on him 👀💦

You two run for your dear little lives, in the meantime dodging a few spears thrown to pierce through your guts and quickly jump behind a few bushes out of breath. Hearing angry yells and screams increasing you both held your breath in. A few seconds later all of them ran past you. You heaved a relieved sigh.

What's happening? You don't have a clue. You only knew that Rayman ran past you in the forest ten minutes ago without even stopping to say hi, he looked really panicked too you have to say. And quickly after Rayman's hand came back, finding your own and quickly sweep away your taken aback body before the spears met with you. And, well, you were suddenly included in a chase you don't have a clue about.

What with this all about? Well, obviously you don't have all the details but you knew someone who did. You can finally question him about all this. With a scowl you turn to face him, finding him invading your personal space, not that you minded (it was funny, really), sticking to your side desperately, maybe that's not the right word to use but he was definitely, on purpose or not, sticking to you like a little kid would do to their mother, still eyeing for any intruders. If you weren’t so angry you would find that cute. Honestly at that moment, you didn't give a fuckthought. Your blood boils in anger. You weren't mad at him. You were tired and worried. Okay, maybe your tired body turning your worry into anger a bit. But you are angry at his reckless side. How wouldn't you be? You know he did something again that bothered these people. (It could also be the fact that because all people on this planet are either crazy or whatever) But it's not like he is doing that on purpose. But he still needs to be more mindful of his surroundings.

You whisper shouted, nudging his chest with your finger, causing him to look at you, "What the fuck did you do this time Rayman?!" You panthed out with a glare. Asking nicely? What is that?

He stared at you surprised (maybe a bit hurt) and huffed out, "What do you mean this time? I didn't do anything!" He scoffed, a hand over his heart with an offended tone.

You rolled your eyes at that and glanced outside, you quickly duck seeing more of them walking past the bush. You cursed under your breath. Thankfully they were dumber than they look.

You glanced at him, "Why do they want you?" You whispered with a hiss.

He smirked, "Who knows! I mean I can't blame them. Everyone wants me!" Here he goes again, you were being dead serious and he starts joking.

You stared at him with the most dumbfounded and sour expression you ever weared, "They fucking want your guts out, you idiot! Don't start with me with those cheesy lines!”

He mushed his lips and stared at you. You stared back with a raised brow. He couldn't hold his stare much longer with how you're glaring at him and finally grumbled out defeated, hiding away from your intense stare, "Okay, okay fine! It might be... a little bit my fault."

You scoffed, "A little bit?”

"I admitted didn't I?”

"What did you do?"

He avoided you with a comedic sweat, "Ahhh…”

"Rayman. What Did You Do?”

"You're going to be so mad." He chuckled nervously.

You can't be more mad then you already are. But again, your expression softened with how actually nervous he looked about all this. You knew he felt guilty. You know him after all. You let out a long silent sigh and reached out to hold his hands, pressing your thumbs over the back of them, kind of stroking to ease him up, "Rayman, I promise I will not yell at you anymore then I already did. Just tell me. I need to know." You sounded more like reassuring yourself then him. Did you forgive him? No? You don't know what you are even forgiving him about! But you did actually soften up on him.

He didn't believe that but confessed anyway, "I uh... might... accidentally woke up a whole civilization??" He sounded unsure of himself.

You stared at him, and he stared back.

"What... the fuck?" What does that suppose to mean?

He laughed, "I said the same thing until you find me and drag me away, my divine savior~" Wasn't that the opposite?

You sighed and grabbed the bridge of your nose, "I feel like I am gonna regret asking this but... how?"

He tapped his chin, "Well, I also have no idea! I was walking around the forest a few hours ago then I found myself in the underground. I guess the ground may have shifted or the place I was standing in collapsed. Either way I find myself exploring the cave to find a way out and, well, that's how I find the burrow. And here we are!" He continued despite seeing your progressive disturbed expression, "They were really aggressive and grumpy, I think they want some kind of revenge for disturbing their sleeping ritual or something—”

You reach your hand and shut him up with a tired face, "Okay, I think that's enough information. We are gonna think of something now. We need to avoid them and find a way back to send them whatever place they come crawling from. Okay..." You muttered to yourself.

Rayman grabbed your hand off of his mouth and muttered your name.

"Not now, I am thinking.”

"But-”

You sushed him, "No, nope, sush, no talking! I don't wanna listen! Just lemme think!”

He stared at you unamused but his expression quickly changed to something nervous. He called out your name again this time a bit louder.

You groaned, rubbing your face, "Ray, What part of "be quiet" don't you understand? What do you want?! You want them to find us?!”

He choked out, "Ahh, about that…”

"Look I only wanted a peaceful day today, getting chased by a crazy herd, not what I had in mind- annnd.... They find us, didn't they?" You sighed.

He nodded, "Pretty much." Soon enough all kinds of sharp-tipped spares were extended towards from all sides. You both quickly raised your hands in the air, surrounded by them. You cursed under your breath not amused at all.

"Well, this could have gone much worse.”

You soon find yourselves in a cell, soon to be turned into a chewing toy. Surrounded by many of them readying the meal you will be in today.

"You have to jinx it, didn't you?" Before he can open his mouth again you threatened showing a rock, "If you open your mouth one more time I swear I’ll force this inside your mouth—”

He raised his hand, "Jeez, alright, alright. I am sorry! What got into you today?” He knew you wouldn't actually do that. You love him too much for that. (But, did you have it in you? Yes. Would you actually do that if he was someone else? Most definitely. Is he afraid of this fact? Absolutely. He definitely know to not underestimate you.) He couldn't help but admit that it sounded so absurd coming from you in that moment though. It also shouldn't amused him but it did.

You forced a short laugh, "What got into me? Oh, lemme think." You sarcastically mumbled, mocking him and tapped your chin as if you were thinking.

He frowned, not letting you start sorting it all out, "Okay, okay. I get it. I said sorry, didn't I? It was lame of me to even ask that. Sorry for trying to be nice.” He stuck his tongue out playfully.

"A sorry not gonna save us from becoming a MEAL OF THE DAY!!" You groaned.

He hummed and shrugged, "I wouldn't worry much. After all this isn't the first time I was imprisoned.”

You stared at him, "We saved your ass when you were imprisoned."

"Saved me?" He smirked, "If I remember correctly, which I know I am, you and Globox were also imprisoned for the sake of saving me, I am touched really. Though it was a weak plan, assuming being held captive was part of your idea~"

You grumbled grimacing, "It was Globox's idea. I didn't have anything better to do so I just followed along. BUT we did save your ass didn't we? That's what counts! Besides, I'm not seeing you having any bright ideas!!”

"Who said I didn't have any?" He grinned, noticing your pause.

You give him a face, "If you had a plan this whole time... WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO?!" God, so that’s why he has been acting so relaxed! He has always been some kind of a laid back person, but this would be too much (Not counting the fact that he knows when to strike). In fact, he should have been happy that he had a reasonable explanation for this situation because you were about to slap him hard for how careless he had been so far and how careless he had been all day.

"Calm down! It was a work in progress and now I am not gonna jinx it again. So, are you in or not?”

You give him a side glare at him and turn away.

He sighed, "Look, I am sorry. Sincerely, coming from the deepest of my heart. I really didn't mean to cause all this. It's also my fault that you are involved in my mess too. So, at least let me help to fix it, okay? You can kick my ass after this." He kind of dragged you away, yes, but it was to save you and you were thankful that he did (how wouldn't you?) but that doesn't mean he is also the one to start all these.

You heaved a sigh, and shook your head with a soft smile, "Lead the way, eggplant." You grinned seeing his little eye roll. You definitely gonna remember the last thing he said.

“I will save us. That’s a promise.” He sounded even more genuine.

“Yeah, yeah. You better be. I don’t wanna end up as a snack before bedtime. So, care to tell me the plan?”

He grinned mischievously, a determined glint in his eyes, "You will find out soon enough. You know me. It's not that complicated to figure out. Even better when you know they are not too smart to figure out."

You raised a brow not fond of him still depriving you of an explanation. But you guessed it was better to leave like that seeing those creatures still roaming all around.

Soon after your 'nice' conversations you both find yourselves tied up together in a cauldron full of water with a fire burning underneath. The creatures throwing chopped vegetables on you.

Your unamused expression hardened, "How much longer are we going to wait?" You grumbled. "They are slowly cooking us alive!"

"Yeah, I won't be a good dinner for them. You have more areas where they can chew off." You swear he was laughing behind you. You growled and hit him in the head with your own, you had no other option. Your arms were tied. "Don't start again! I'm serious! I'm starting to get worried. My feet are burning!”

He hissed in pain, "Sorry, force of habit... or maybe coping... either way..." he took a sharp breath, "My plan gonna work."

"You are not even doing anything! What kind of plan is that? Just admit already that you have no idea how we can get out of this station!”

"No, because I do. I'm just waiting for the right moment.”

You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, yeah. And I believe that. I am sure you do-- Wait a fucking moment." You hissed. You can't belive you forget about his ability, "You fucking have control all over your body! Whatever the floaty, gravity bending thing you do! You can easily get out of this rope!! They only tied our bodies, not hands or feet! Fuck! Why didn't you do something about this earlier Rayman?! Are you trying to piss me off on purpose! I swear---" Your words are stuffed inside your mouth, literally. One of the creatures got annoyed (or tired) of your talking and harshly pushed an apple in your mouth. Your eye twitched in annoyance. Rayman glanced back with a stuffed laugh. Okay, maybe you did deserve this but you are not gonna admit that. You gave him a death glare and he quickly looked away. But you still heard his stuffed snickers and feel his shaking body.

He nudges your side with his hand and your eyes quickly widen, "For your concern, ya think I would forget about something my own body capable of since forever? I already handled that. And for your nice question, like I said, I am one step ahead of you, darling~" he quickly hid the key before one of the creatures could see and cautiously examined the surroundings carefully.

He whispered, "When I came back here there was no way out of this place but the hole I fell down from. Thankfully, I was able to crawl back out but there is no sight of that hole anymore so I am gonna assume they blocked it. So there is only one option left for us to choose. What we're gonna do is, use the real door. The one I couldn't pass before. And for that we needed the key. Though one of us is gonna need to distract them while the other opens the door. Then we both escape and lock them in here, like it should have been." You're gonna kick his ass for not telling you about this sooner and made you believe that he actually didn't have any clue. Though you didn't know which one is good, his acting for the sake of the creatures (you have no idea what they are) not notice? Or him playing with you just for fun. Actually... you were happy that he did have a plan. Because it would be the worst tragicomic death in the hero's history.

His eyes widened when he felt your weight on his back... more than normally. You two were back to back forcefully pressed together yeah but... you were leaning on him? In relief? Comfort? He didn't know. But he couldn't help his lips turn into a soft smile.

"Well, I might ruin our moment here..." he trailed off. "I love hot baths as much as the next person but we should get moving. I don't think I like vegetable soup especially if we are in it.”

He felt the vibration of your laugh on his back causing his smile to widen. He glanced back at you with a smirk, his hand helping you to remove the red apple as he whinked.

"You ready to kick some little ass?" Those green creatures were nearly half of your height. You still can't believe how you two get caught that easily. You two were unprepared. But this time will be different.

You smirked, "It's always so nice to fight alongside you.”

"That's good to hear because I really needed that." He hummed as he slowly unwrapped the tight rope from around both of you, "You know, thinking our situation it's both humiliating and funny as hell. It could be our little secret. How's that sound?”

"Like heaven, and also the thought of what I can do after I get back home. Sleep all day long. Sounds good, huh?" You snickered knowing that's exactly what he will do too.

"After kicking my ass?”

You held back a laugh, "You want to be beaten up that much?” You pressed your back on his on purpose this time with a smirk.

He glanced back at you, "I think all the fighting we are gonna do here will be enough.”

"Agreed." You both jumped out of the cauldron within a fighting stance, raising up your fists.

You bawled, "Who wanna have some of these?" You showed your fists.

The creatures stood staring. Soon all screamed a war cry running towards you. You two smirked and launched.

[frozenjokes]

Lost In Translation

“Right. You all have thirty minutes, or until I get tired of you; a far more likely outcome to happen in very little time, so think twice before you two go on yelling and talking over each other,” Etho threw an aggressive point at Scar and Grian from their place on the sand, tail flicking irritably. They had some sort of human game in front of them, thinly sliced human scraps with shapes and symbols Mumbo didn’t understand, but given Etho’s less than joyous mood, Mumbo held off on the questions. He got the feeling he may have been pushing it already by asking Etho to come back to the shore to speak with all of them, but the other mermaid had only looked tired, not completely unwilling. Mumbo understood. Very little peace with those two. He nodded along as Etho translated what they’d said to Mumbo, but startled at their next words, ‘You first, Mumbo. Say whatever you want to say.’

Oh goodness. He hadn’t prepared for this. Well- obviously he’d thought about what he wanted to say, but he hadn’t expected to be first! Etho made a small huffing noise in response to Mumbo’s anxious clicking, which was entirely indistinguishable between amusement or annoyance, but they didn’t say anything, fins patient. Not patient, however, were the two humans on the shore, boring holes with their barely contained excitement right into Mumbo’s soul. Goodness. Oh god. To escape their eyes, Mumbo dove into his bag of trinkets.

‘Gifts. I want to give them their gifts. Music boxes. The music boxes. Tell them they’re fragile, please, very fragile. I don’t know if they work above water, and I don’t quite see why they wouldn’t, but I’ve never tested it- I don’t want them to break. Tell them they’re fragile.’ Mumbo dug out the boxes, gingerly placing them where the water met the shore and backing away.

“He brought you two both a gift from where he’s from, a very important cultural thing, so for the love of god, don’t break them. They’re music boxes, they play mermaid songs. They work underwater, so don’t try to play them outside of it. He wants to stress that they’re fragile, but I think Mumbo thinks humans are a bit clumsier than..” Etho trailed off, staring the two humans down, “Nevermind. Treat these like glass. The boxes are sturdy, though.”

“Okay, I’m making a conscious effort not to be offended by that.”

“Gifts?” Scar, barely contained, squealed over the tail end of whatever Grian had said, launching himself toward the water in a way that made Mumbo’s stomach lurch. He was going to break it. No doubt.

“You’re making him nervous, Scar,” Etho mumbled, and Scar stopped short over the boxes, looking almost startled from Etho to Mumbo to Etho to Mumbo to Etho again.

“What? He’s not doing anything. Did he say something?”

“No. Do you say something everytime you’re uncomfortable?”

“No. Usually I make a face about it though,” Scar gestured vaguely to Mumbo, who was really wishing Etho would do the translation thing he came here to do right now.

“You own a zoo, Scar. You are the animal guy,” Etho sounded exasperated, which was really making Mumbo anxious now. Come on, Scar! Don’t ruin this. But Scar didn’t look any less confused; if anything, he looked frustrated, brows furrowed and frowning.

“Alright, great, yeah, I do animals. I don’t know if you noticed, but that’s a whole ass person!” Scar made a grander gesture, and Etho flicked his tail, but Scar wasn’t done, “I know Mumbo doesn’t really emote like people do, but he’s obviously sentient! I don’t understand how dehumanizing him is helping anyone! I mean, besides making some people feel less badly about plotting to murder and sell the bits of our friend here-“

“Okay.” Grian bristled, but Scar didn’t stop.

“I won’t draw a line between the two of us like we’re any different. I don’t respect Mumbo any differently than I respect the both of you, and that isn’t to say I think down on Animals In General either, because I don’t, obviously, but it isn’t the same. It kind of bothers me that you think of Mumbo so differently- especially you-“

“Scar.” Etho said flatly, eyes lidded, “Shut up.” Scar blanched, but didn’t speak, so Etho went on, “That,” he pointed to Mumbo, “Is not a human. That is a mermaid. I have no idea what’s running through that head of yours, but Mumbo is not a human person. You can not read him like a human person. He does emote, quite expressively at that. With his fins. Just like a dog or cat does with their ears, or some other equivalent.“ ‘-you complete fucking buffoon, what the fuck are you going on about.’

“Oh.” Scar stared at Mumbo for a moment, who was doing a poor job at pretending he wasn’t very irritated right now. “Oh. I see it.”

“Have you not been looking at his fins?” Grian asked, the question more genuine than anything, but Scar clearly interpreted the tone otherwise, hunching his shoulders with a defensive huff.

“Of course I have! When they’re moving a lot I do! But they don’t usually move that much.” Was Scar angry? Mumbo was having a difficult time telling. He didn’t really sound angry- more.. squeaky. What did it mean when a human was squeaky? Grian opened his mouth to say something, but clearly thought better of it. Etho did not have the same reservations.

“You haven’t been looking at his face, have you?” Etho paused, fins flaring in sudden thought, “You haven’t been looking at my face have you?”

“Of course I’ve been looking at your face!” Scar threw up his arms, “I look at all of you!”

“That- Scar. Mermaids don’t make expressions like humans do. We literally do not have the muscles in our faces- mermaids don’t emote like that! Do you know how weird it was to go from nothing to my face just Moving all of the time?” Etho’s exasperation seemed to shift, looking more like he had been wronged by The World than just Scar.

“Are you really worried about where I’m looking or do you just want to complain,” Scar huffed with just a hint of a smile, and honestly, Mumbo had completely given up trying to puzzle out how anyone here was feeling.

“To complain!”

Scar snorted, “Well then, human Etho doesn’t make many faces anyway, so I don’t bother looking much at all.”

“Good! I don’t want anyone looking at my face while I’m possessed. Scratch that, I don’t want anyone looking at me ever.”

“We can all tell.”

“Good!”

“What.” Mumbo cut in firmly, unable to take any more of this, before remembering there was someone here who he could complain to in far more detail, ‘You two are just as bad as Scars and Red. Do I get to know what you’re bickering about, or do I have to stay in the dark forever?’

Etho blinked, staring for a moment before looking back to Scar, “He’s mouthy.” Mumbo bristled with a short hiss.

“What? What did he say?” Grian perked up, then, after a quick glance at Mumbo, puffed up defensively, “Well I bet he feels left out! No wonder!”

‘They’re defending you,’ Etho clicked with a short gesture, and Mumbo was too struck between vindication and annoyance to react, ‘Scars wasn’t using their brain. They’re weird about you.’

‘Weird? What does that mean?’

Etho rolled their fins, a wordless non-answer, and Mumbo had to consciously lay his own fins flat to avoid screaming his frustration to the world. Humans! The WORST.

‘I don’t like how you talk to each other,’ Mumbo huffed, fins twitching, ‘You didn’t used to be so mean. Now whenever any of you are together all you do is argue without any regard for anyone else. What changed? Are you all in season or something?’

Etho gaped at Mumbo for a moment, a human expression, before breaking out into that odd human half-laugh, wheezing a howl with flared gills. The longer this went on, the more Mumbo was convinced that Etho might actually just be dying, and given the strained looks on Grian and Scar’s faces, it seemed they were thinking similarly, but Etho did straighten up eventually, making a gesture of wiping something from their face that Mumbo didn’t understand the meaning of.

“Mumbo thinks you two have been so bad to each other because you’re horny, and he’s right.” Etho wheezed (laughed?) once more, holding their chest, but whatever they’d said (a translation, maybe?) definitely had an impact, both Grian and Scar jumping in alarm, their faces ranging from strained to outright distressed.

“What- how- Mumbo!” Scar wailed, but in his loss for words, Grian took over.

“We haven’t- Where’s he gotten this impression from! We hardly even visit together at all! What, did we argue one time and he’s just- What exactly did he say!?”

Well, Mumbo hadn’t really been serious, but he was starting to think he was onto something now. Huh. The more you know. Maybe he should make a mental note to avoid humans in the late summer- how long was this going to last? Etho said something in human that Mumbo missed, Grian only cutting through his thought with the sheer volume of his protest.

“That is not true!”

“Is it not, though?” Scar looked thoughtful, but the facade cracked when he snickered at Grian’s affronted expression; wow, the way humans changed color was so odd! Could they turn colors other than red? Mumbo was pretty sure he’d have seen it by now if they could, but still.

‘It’s complicated,’ Etho settled at that conclusion, infuriatingly vague, ‘Humans don’t quite have a season like you’re thinking, but they’ve both been worked up for a while now. Human relationships tend to reach a point of complexity that is rarer for us. Every relationship dispute I’ve known in the deep is dealt with..’ Etho paused, frequent clicks filling the silence as they thought, ‘Well, if we’re unhappy enough to fight with teeth.. No. Whatever they’re doing isn’t normal for humans either. Freaks.’

Mumbo cocked his head, just slightly, curiosity like claws longing to pull the whole story from Etho’s throat, ‘They’re fighting over someone?’

Etho snorted, ‘I guess you could say that.’ Wow. Etho was quite possibly the worst person in the world they could have had to translate between them. What did that MEAN. Etho sure wasn’t going to elaborate, their attention already back on Grian and Scar, who were still bickering, though quite a bit redder in the face than before.

“Alright, who’s next,” Etho cut in, eternally unamused, “Less uncomfortable flirting, more Mumbo.”

“That was not flirting!” Grian hissed, but Scar was unfazed, eyes bright at Mumbo’s name.

“Me first, me first! Please tell Mumbo ‘I love you!’ from Scar. Or just teach Grian how to say it, and maybe one day I’ll be able to say it too.”

“You-“ Etho snorted, “Seriously? That’s all you want to say?”

“That’s what’s come to mind right now. I mean, most of the time we run into issues it’s kinda on the spot, y’know? I didn’t really bring any human stuff for him to look at today- augh! What a complete missed opportunity! Then I’d have more to talk about! I mean, I could talk about my week like I do normally, but I don’t really feel very strongly about it. I do that anyway, regardless if Mumbo can understand me or not. He likes listening!”

“He likes listening, huh?” Etho huffed, but the way their fins were waving, Mumbo was pretty sure they were amused. Grian snorted as well, but raised his hands in defense when Scar turned to admonish the two of them, though Etho didn’t look much like they cared at all, eyes narrowed and tail twitching in a sharp focus that lasted so long, Scar looked up, confused by the silence.

“Is something wrong?”

“Uh..” Etho’s fins lowered, looking embarrassed, “No, I just.. I’m not entirely sure how to do that. It’s- the language is complicated, and a lot of it isn’t even said out loud- and big feelings- love is a big feeling. You usually communicate something like that with song, and never on the behalf of someone else- I mean, maybe, but the context would have to be there.. Everything I’m thinking of saying with words just sounds.. Well, he might get the wrong message. This is an unusual thing for a mermaid to just say to another.”

“You guys don’t tell each other you love them?”

“We do, just not the way humans do. Most of it is wordless, and most of that is acts of service. Time in each other’s company. If a mer isn’t fond of another, they kind of just swim away.”

Scar chewed on his lip, distress in his furrowed brow, “But I want him to know.”

“I’m sure he knows, Scar,” Grian tried, but despite the soft tone, this didn’t seem to make Scar feel any better.

“Can you try? Even if it’s a little odd sounding or not quite right, I don’t care, he’ll still get the idea.”

Etho didn’t look convinced, fins wavering, “Maybe now is a good time to say I’m a bit rusty.. It- it’s been a while since I’ve been home, even before I became human, and listen, I’m not looking for sympathy or anything, but I lived in a pretty remote place with pretty stony inhabitants, and they were not the most warm or loving supports-“

“Etho,” Scar crouched to Etho’s level, “Any time, any place, I will always be free if you want to talk about how your parents never taught you how to say ‘I love you’-“

“Oh god, no. Absolutely not. Also, Scar, again, that is not how the mermaid language-“

“-But it doesn’t matter to me how you say it or if it’s awkward or whatever. I don’t care if the translation is completely incomprehensible. It would just mean a lot to me to be able to tell him, that’s all. That’s all I want to say, I won’t bother you with anything else.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Etho returned dryly, but Scar looked so desperately hopeful, so intensely genuine, and despite avoiding eye contact, Etho still cracked, “Okay. Just give me a second.”

…

‘Scars,’ Etho started, and for an uncomfortably long time, that was it, though they kept shifting their tail in a gesture Mumbo didn’t really recognize.. Was Etho trying to say something, or were they just nervous? Without the mobility in the water, it would be a lot harder to speak properly, but Etho made no move to abandon their human game. Etho made a couple sounds like he was testing the language, but perked up a moment later, looking hopeful. ‘How do you say it, ‘love?’ On behalf of someone else?’

Mumbo straightened with a soft click; ah! They weren’t sure of the translation! That made sense, especially when Etho had been away for so long with no one to talk to- they were still fluent of course, just a few things slipped through the cracks- wait a minute.

‘Love?’

‘To love. A friend’s affirmation. Humans like to affirm each other often.’

Mumbo’s fins waved, light amusement, ‘They say we are friends, then. That is sweet.’ But Etho wasn’t satisfied, tail fin thumping against the grass.

‘Stronger feeling. Deeper.’ Surprise set Mumbo’s fins on end, but Etho was distressed by the reaction, waving their hands in what had to be a frantic human gesture, ‘Not that deep!’

‘You’re confusing me.’

‘Scars is your friend. They feel strongly, they wanted you to know. A human gesture. Friendship sets a distance. Scars feels closer- there is no distance, he wants you to know. It is not- not- mating. Between? No. Forget I spoke.’ Etho put their head in their hands. “I’ve ruined it.”

“What? What did you say?” Scar didn’t look any bit alarmed, though Grian behind him was glancing from Etho to Mumbo and back again, wary. Mumbo had little idea what to make of that.. Everyone except Scar seemed to be nervous, but Scar was always the confident type. Was this something nerve wracking?

“I don’t know! I don’t know. Who knows what he took from that!”

“You could ask?” Grian suggested, but Etho shook his head fiercely.

“I’m never speaking again.”

Hm. They seemed to be distressed. It was overall difficult to tell, but the general vibe made this seem like some sort of confession? Poor Etho, Mumbo wished he could have been more helpful with the translation. Even Scar looked a little down now, though, humans tended to absorb each other’s emotions quite strongly. Scar wanted.. not courtship, apparently, but not friendship either? What did that mean? Something about puzzling out Etho’s words had the logical part of Mumbo’s brain firing rapidly, but the moment that slipped, he felt his heart rate rise and his fins in turn. Did- Just the idea had him so flustered- humans! What was Mumbo going to do with them!

The three of them began to talk again on the shore, but Mumbo didn’t even try to listen, lost in the fantasy world where someone like that would even be possible. Had he misunderstood? But Scar must not have seen any issues if he intended to make a grand confession out of it, even if translation problems got in the way. Did humans have more stages between friendship and partnership than mermaids? Is that what Etho had meant by ‘between?’ Perhaps Scar meant to gauge interest, see how Mumbo reacted.. Is that why Grian was so nervous? He wanted this to go well? Oh, poor Scar! Mumbo hadn’t given any reaction at all! No wonder he was disappointed!

Actually, before Mumbo got ahead of himself here, how did he feel about this? Intrigued, surely, but for the right reasons? Scar could be abrasive, certainly, but Mumbo always got the impression his heart was in the right place, and he was always so patient, wasn’t he? He loved to swim, loved to try keeping up with Mumbo when he had no chance, loved to play- oh goodness, Scar had been bringing Mumbo gifts for as long as he could remember! Was that- had Scar always been interested in him? How could Mumbo have been so daft!

In his defense, this felt a little like an objectively odd thing to happen. Scar was always so full of energy, but Mumbo had never considered part of the reason to be infatuation! Mumbo was aware he did well for himself aesthetically, most if not all having to do with his size, but Scar had little base of comparison.. though, maybe humans didn’t care for the same attributes? They had eyes, for one; distinct features mermaids could sense without sight probably didn’t matter as much to humans. Maybe Scar liked Mumbo’s fins? They were colorful, weren’t they? Oh, Mumbo loved color.. Humans had quite good ones, though not as good as a lot of fish. But the way they wore color, oh, Mumbo would kill for some human clothes..

Perhaps he’d gotten off topic. How did he feel about Scar? Scar.. Mumbo liked Scar. He appreciated that Scar met him where he was most comfortable, spending hours trying to teach words of a foreign language to.. varying levels of success. It was damn hard, frustrating at the best of times, but that didn’t seem to bother or discourage the human.

Scar was also mildly terrifying in every way, and Mumbo was never sure if the human would survive the next week. In fairness, he didn’t know how humans survived at all, but at least Grian seemed to value his life!

Goodness, how odd it was to be considering a human of all things.. But they were sentient, weren’t they? Mumbo couldn’t really find a problem with this. Experimentally, this seemed like an incredible opportunity! Scar wasn’t looking for any firm commitments, and that was fine; Mumbo wasn’t about to trade scales over Scar anyway, especially given their distance. Oh, this was sweet, wasn’t it? Scar was very sweet..

Ah! Mumbo had so many gifts to make up for! He nearly forgot Etho altogether, just about to turn tail when the other mer spoke.

‘Red wants to apologize for the net, and for how he tried to kill you afterwards. They-‘

‘RED-‘ Mumbo’s head spun, that little tidbit setting his fins completely on end and quivering, ‘RED TRIED TO WHAT!?’

Etho stared, glanced at Grian, then back again. “Oh. That’s awkward.”

“I- What did he say-?” Grian squeaked, distress clear, though he could not be nearly as horrified as Mumbo.

“He didn’t know,” Etho said simply, and Scar drew a sharp breath.

“Oooh, yeah, that is bad. That is. Hm.”

“HE DIDN'T KNOW!? He didn’t- what did he think I-” Grian shrieked, and that really frightened Mumbo, jumping back just a bit further away. “Oh god. Oh god.” Grian stopped, turning to Mumbo stiffly, eyes alight with- an emotion, surely- ‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-‘

Etho cackled, the noise more human sounding than any of their other ‘laughs,’ while Scar only sat in the sand, hands over his eyes.

‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-‘ (and so it went for quite a while longer)

[inthedarkshadows000]

SneakPeak#102.......

From the story I might never write

"This is a kitchen knife. You seriously kept a kitchen knife to defend yourself against someone like that." At the sound of a gruff voice a looked in Toji's direction who was moving from behind the desk towards me. He held the bloody knife in his hands like it was normal.

"I didn't know I would need it." I sat straight and replied, offended.

"You did. That is why it was there. You don't normally keep knives on yourself obvious from the lack of proper ones. The fact that you bothered having one here meant you knew this was going to happen." I was at a loss of words. He was right I knew this was gonna happen obviously, I had done my homework on that man.

"Let me rephrase. I hoped I wouldn't need it and that my manipulative skills would be enough to get out of any sticky situation. That was a back up, I agree a shitty one though." I shrugged and relaxed back. No need to go off bonkers here.

"Yeah? How'd that work out for you. If it hadn't been for me pushing out suguru your brains would be splattered on the wall here." He wasn't giving up here, was? Also Awwwwwww. He had moved right behind the coffee table. Suguru still sat between us.

"No. If Suguru hadn't stepped in my plan INITIAL would be ruined but not my beloved face." I got up shakily and moved towards my desk. Bending down to open the last drawer I took out my pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"I agree I misread how fast his temper would flare up but even in the situation where I would be physically at a disadvantage, I knew how to not die." I continued and went toward the window on the left side of the room.

Drawing the curtains away, I opened the window and lit a cigg. I felt the tension leave my body the moment i inhaled the first drag.

Fucking finally!!!!

"Please enlighten us then." I really didn't like how sarcastic the dilf was. He sounded closer. I looked behind me to see them all getting up and moving towards me.

"I will if you calmed you tits down. Here, catch" I threw something at his face obviously knowing he will  catch it. Frankly I just wanted to get my frustration out.

"Smoking after losing that much isn't the smartest idea." Oh.. Kento my responsible baby!!!

"I know but that stressed the hell out of me. I'll stop if the smoke is an issue though?" I replied suddenly realising how it probably was, I was about to put it out when he shook his head in negative. So I just shrugged and continued.

"You wanted to blackmail him. He was about to kill you anyway taking it out of your dead or alive hands would be literally the same feet for him. An easy one." He gave the recording device to the others after finishing with it and came to stand next to me. Lighting a cigarette himself, he looked at me and gave me a challenging look.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how much people could underestimate a person. Inhaling another puff I explained "Actually no that wasn't what I was going to do. Only a dumb ass would be that.... dumb. I was actually gonna make him believe that this entire meeting would automatically go viral if I didn't stop it."

"Would he have believed you could do that?" Asked toru seeming really intrigued by the idea.

"Of course, I am a software engineer, one of the most efficient ones. Why do you think he wants me. Also he knows nothing of modern tech." I smiled cheekily and winked at him. That made him guffaw. Let me just tell you it was the most beautiful sound ever.

"And would it have gone viral?" Toji was still as serious as ever.

Now what HAPPENED to his chill pill attitude.

"Does it really matter all that I had to do was make HIM believe that it would if he didn't leave this room and me unscathed. It's called bluffing. Not to mention that I could always have people actually do that with whatever dirt I have on him if he did harm me." I shrugged looking at him with an attitude and put out my cigg.

In an instant he had his large hand wrapped around my neck and I whimpered being taken off gaurd. "DO NOT give that attitude, little girl. I also don't take people talking down to me lightly, best you remember that."

His grip more like a warning than hurtful and it did nothing but awaken my inner freak and drama queen.

My choke fantasy is finally true!!! 3 more people to go!!!! Cannot believe I can finally tick one off of my list.

"Enough! let go of her this instant." Kento was next to me in an instant, the other too surrounded me. I jutted out my lower lip a little and made my eyes water a tiny bit.

Toji waited a beat and before releasing me and moving back to take a puff of the cigarette, which I had frankly forgotten about, while still maintaining eye contact with me. Kento was glaring at him.

Oh my chivalrous man.

Making sure no one was looking, i let one side of my lip quirk into a tiny smirk. Toji's green eyes grew slightly realising my act. His eyebrow raised, surprised, then a knowing gleam settled into his bright green eyes, impressed.

"Hey, you good?" At suguru's question all eyes were on me and I nodded innocently.

I had to bite my lip to stop my laugh when I saw toji shake his head and turn to look out, silently whispering "Tch, you little minx."

That's right big boy, I got my own powers. I evilly giggled.

[dochkarauta]

jealousy jealousy

— my first little work in another language (i try :,) )

ships: carlando; loscar

tags: little drama, jealousy, happy end

read:

"i have new gossip)"

LN

"Oscar said they would break up with Logan because Logan is jealous of me lmao)"

LN

"god, you’re so lucky that you got me, Carlos."

LN

"you're great at eliminating the hardships of choice in my life, darling"

LN

"does Oscar give rise to jealousy?"

CS

"and I hope we're not talking about that McLaren video right now?"

CS

"exactly))) think about it: what kind of insecure idiot to be jealous of such a thing?"

LN

"although... yes, maybe Sargent has something to worry about)"

LN

"and what should he be worried about?"

CS

"you know, Oscar and I spend time together… all the time."

LN

"sometimes it seems to me that even more than them"

LN

"do Logan and Oscar live together, they’re not?"

CS

"outside of race weekends"

CS

"what makes you think that? I've never heard of it. Isn't Logan living in America now?"

LN

"he and Oscar have been living in the UK for the second year. before that, both lived somewhere else, maybe in America."

CS

"i’m afraid to ask, and how did you know that?"

LN

"I talked to Oscar recently in the paddock. and I read a couple of clippings from his interview."

CS

"and you spend so much time with him that you don't even know if he lives with Logan?"

CS

"it's strange that Oscar told you about their breakup, but didn't tell you about living together."

CS

"he said. in other words"

LN

"and I see his emotions, his irritation during the conversation. so something is definitely wrong."

LN

"well…"

CS

"and what did Oscar actually say?"

CS

"I'm telling you, Logan didn't like his answer to the question about the best teammate. Well, obviously, Oscar would have called me, why this stupid american drama?"

LN

"he would have named you because there are cameramen and people from McLaren sitting next to you, cabrón, make no mistake"

CS

"it doesn't affect the fact that I'm a cool friend and teammate in any way"

LN

"you should watch a few interviews with your teammate. he never calls you a friend when he talks with people unrelated to McLaren. I saw a clip from the show where Oscar lists close friends in the paddock, and there are at least two people in front of you, buddy."

CS

"you're kind of tense."

LN

"you're being disgusting, Lando."

CS

"you are deliberately provoking Oscar, thereby trying to hurt Logan and somehow interfere in their relationship. and this is not the first time. So with Alex and Russell, isn't that right?"

CS

"who am I provoking, darling? I don't care any of the listed ones at all. and Oscar could easily name his greatest american boy if he wanted to. I just asked a question that will be interesting to the audience. It's a damn show, who's offended by the show?"

LN

"we've known each other for so many years, and you've just started to get stressed out by my behavior. before that, what? oh, right, you could easily get distracted by a pretty face and close your eyes to everything"

LN

"but now there's a other pretty face, isn't there?"

LN

"what are you talking about?"

CS

"don't turn this on me, Lando. you literally feel proud and enjoy when you find out from somewhere or you can figure out that everything is bad between these two. Is that what friends do?"

CS

"you're also trying to get me emotional with your stories about how often you and Oscar are together. do you lack attention so much that you are ready to forcibly demand it from others and extract it from me in such a barbaric way?"

CS

"of course, as always, I am the most terrible. bravo, Carlos, what else could a loving and caring guy say"

LN

"I told you the truth. I want you to stop acting like a total bitch and leave them."

CS

"one more word in that tone, and you don't have to write to me anymore, okay?"

LN

"since I'm acting like a total bitch, you can go to anyone you don't think is like that. to Oscar, Logan, or at least to your perfect Leclerc, dude. idfc”

LN

"what does Charles have to do with it?"

CS

"I don't even know. google it, man»

LN

"maybe I really miss your attention so much, since I'm looking for it in others? It's worth thinking about, Carlos. I hope you will have time for this while you spend days and nights with your wonderful teammate."

LN

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was dating an adult who can: a) to distinguish between working and personal relationships; b) to entertain himself while I am doing work and all this nonsense with contracts. It turned out I was wrong."

CS

"then you definitely need someone like Oscar. to sit in different rooms, remember each other once a day and admire another person. and what am I, I'm just a kid who wants attention from his boyfriend. of course, it's just terrible, Carlos!"

LN

"why are you so aggressive about our friendship with Charles? are you really that jealous? how can you, it's just a show, Lando))”

CS

"fuck you"

LN

"you say that adults should not demand attention by "barbaric" ways. but can adults afford deprive their partner so easily? You've been ignoring my messages for days. Didn't you have a single second in three days to say, "I'm fine, baby, don't worry," like it used to be? You don't notice me in the paddock anymore. damn, it really seems to me that you communicate with the same Oscar more often than with me. am I no longer worthy of this attention? Do I need to curry favor and beg?"

LN

"although it's unlikely to help. you never forget to tell me about Charles. you have fucking time to discuss your "divorce" with the whole press, Carlos. and how much time do you spend with him? you are together in the paddock, at shows, in clubs after the race. oh yes, Logan can sleep well, Oscar and I will never get to that level!"

LN

"I literally can't be with someone for as long like I would to be with you. God, I think about how cool it was with you at every show. it will never compare to Piastri. I was happy then because I didn't have to draw out praise, compliments, or any other attention. like now"

LN

"and I've already developed a real paranoia. when I received a message from you, I began to be afraid to enter our fucking chat. because I constantly think that I will see from you "we need to break up" or "I'm better off with Charles." fuck, I'm already dreaming about this story. and you would have known if you had picked up the phone when I called you. but you were at the club, judging by the stories of Charles' friends."

LN

"sometimes I'm so afraid of your betrayal that I'm ready to leave you, because it wouldn't hurt so much."

LN

"Lando, this is such a stupid thing."

CS

"I've never thought in my life that I want to cheat on you or break up"

CS

"including when we started communicating with Charles"

CS

"if that doesn't calm you down, then I'll remind you that he has a relationship. he hardly needs me."

CS

"I had no idea he was dating anyone, mate."

LN

"come on, Lando. you spend so much time with Max, didn't he tell you?"

CS

«…»

LN

"and that's not the main thing you should have heard."

CS

"I said I don't want to break up with you, baby."

CS

"that week, my phone fell out from the second floor and died. I asked Oscar to give you this, by the way, since you had a meeting in the near future. so all the questions are for him."

CS

"and I'm not ignoring you in the paddock. We're just talking as a group. I'm talking to everyone."

CS

"baby, are you here?"

CS

"yes."

LN

"what are you thinking about?"

CS

"about you calling me a bitch"

LN

"it's not the first time."

CS

"this is the first time you've said it seriously and aggressively, not as a flirtation or a joke."

LN

"I'm sorry about that."

CS

"I was wrong, Lando. I love you. It won't happen again, baby"

CS

"I'm sorry for being so persistent. and with Oscar, this situation... you're right, sometimes I'm terrible because I feel lonely. but I love you too."

LN

"I'm sorry that lately I haven't been able to spend as much time together as we both would like. but that doesn't mean I've forgotten about you or stopped loving you. I just want to wait for the summer break and take you to Spain, to my parents."

CS

"I know. I want it too"

LN

"and one more thing... I also think about you during the ferrari show. In your case, I really wanted to finish all this as soon as possible so that I could take you to a hotel room... but let's leave that out."

CS

"why don't you come now? I don't think anyone from the team will mind one former pilot in their lair."

LN

"will you give me 20 minutes?"

CS

"I'll give you more if you don't stay late."

LN

"el pequeño diablo"

CS

[pjo-tvs-version]

Here is a little rant about the judo flip scene in the Mark of Athena. Please don't be offended by this because I just wanted to express my views. I respect all opinions till the time they make sense.

At the time I read the Mark of Athena, I wasn't really into the pjo fandom. Honestly the time period from when I read the Son of Neptune to reading Mark of Athena was by far the most stressful and I finished Mark of Athena in just one day! I was soo looking forward to reunion and was flipping the pages and enjoying it as everything came by. I reached the judo flip scene and just read it like it was nothing though I found it surprising and amusing for a short period of time. To be honest I was mentally obsessing over percabeth's reunion kiss not their judo flip. I want to be honest and in this post so I will say that I had literally no issue with the judo flip. I didn't even think about the judo flip after I finished the book (albeit my brain was too busy digesting the ending of the book but you know....)

Flash forward to me now. I am a part of the pjo fandom and like to keep myself updated with everything. In the fandom, the judo flip is unarguably one of the most controversial topics. I was so surprised that there is so much of debate on this one incident to be honest. It shocked me soo much that went and reread the scene again and then thinking to myself - was it that weird?

Now whenever I make an opinion I try my best to hear both sides. People find it toxic and abusive and others find it cute and adorable. Now I will like to remind you that this is strictly my opinions on the topic so please do not be offended if you do not agree with me.

Percy and Annabeth are characters who are fictional. Their relationship is adored by many and a few dislike it which is completely alright. However I would like to point a few things. Annabeth and Percy have known each other for about 4 years. They have been trained in battle and have fought a literal war side by side. Plus they are demigods. Annabeth is a warrior and we know she loves Percy because even if you don't ship percabeth you have to agree with the fact that the girl was seriously concerned when Percy went missing and searched for him for 6 months. Would she do that if she didn't love him?

They are very close and have even dated for 4 months. That is when Percy disappears with no fault of his. But I urge you to just imagine Annabeth's situation a little please. She is seeing her boyfriend, her best friend after legit 6 months of searching, not knowing whether he is alive or not, not knowing whether he remembers her or not.

Obviously her emotions are running high. Their is relief, joy and anger too which is understandable. However this anger is directed to the wrong person and that makes this scene debatable. Annabeth had no right to blame Percy for his disappearance but she did. But now just see her situation too. Like girl was going through a bad phase too and her anger did evaporate when Percy smiled because he too understands what she must be feeling.

What she did was not right but it is understandable too. It depends on perspective. In my eyes I would say that this scene was a failed attempt at humour by Uncle Rick. There were other ways about how he could have gone with this scene.

In the end, do I hate this scene? No. Do I like it? Also No. To me it's just an incident which occured and that's all. I don't really think about this scene often but the fandom has amplified it a little too much ( I know this is so ironic because with this post I'm just adding on to the already multiple discussions on this topic but let's just ignore that fact). One should be free to interpret this scene in the way they want but without insulting the other side. I wish to do the same too...

[interact-proof]

Info Masterpost

Hi everyone, you may know me from around the IF community, probably primarily from here, but you may also be familiar with some projects I've worked on as an editor (the two most prominent being @bodycountgame and @nyehilismwriting's Project Hadea) or other things I've done around the place. Regardless, it's my intention to set up a place here to provide proof-reading and other editing services in order to help people in the IF community who may struggle with doing it themselves for whatever reason (be that due to time, or difficulty, or anything else).

What's on Offer?

We all know that being an interactive fiction author is a HUGE undertaking - we're our own planners, publicists, programmers and also editors a large amount of the time - and sometimes it can be a lot to grapple with. I also know from personally interacting with a lot of authors that editing in particular can feel intimidating for people who don't do it often, and lots of people feel like they don't get it right or don't trust their own judgement with it. That's a normal feeling for anyone inexperienced in a certain skill to go through, but also it turns out that luckily, the internet exists!

For a fee, I can hopefully take some of the stress out of the process by doing copy, line or developmental editing for you, or a combination of the three in some way, shape or form. This doesn't give me any control over your work, obviously, and any suggestions that I make will be just that, suggestions - though like any editor worth their salt, I'll always do my best to explain what I'm suggesting and why, so that you can hopefully make an informed decision about what you want to do about it.

See below the cut for more information, along with pricing and some basic FAQs. Thanks for reading!

So, how does it work?

Well, it's pretty simple, really - you reach out and talk to me about what you want edited, I'll let you know how many (if any) jobs are in my queue currently, we'll confirm what the price will be, and then you decide if you want to go ahead with contracting my services. If we agree to work together, you'll sit back and relax after finishing the exhausting writing process, or, if you're really a glutton for punishment, start writing something new, and I'll do the editing. Then I'll return it to you, and send you an invoice. Easy!

I'm not going to hover over your shoulder demanding certain changes be made or be offended if you disagree with me - that's not a good editor's function, in my personal opinion. What you choose to do with my editing suggestions afterwards is entirely up to you!

FAQs

What's the difference between copy editing, line editing and developmental editing?

Most people editing for themselves do all three different types of these at once, but they are actually three separate skillsets. Copy editing is another term for what's sometimes called proof-reading; basically, it's checking for spelling and grammar mistakes (including homophones and so forth) but not for other purely textual elements like ineffective word usage or weak sentence structures. Anything beyond basic grammatical correctness is covered by what's called line editing, which looks at some common things people worry about like overused words, weak metaphors or other imagery, and sentences or segments of the text that can possibly be written in a way to more effectively convey the message they're trying to get across.

Developmental editing is a whole other ballgame - this is the part that most often makes authors nervous, the act of considering the text in terms of the effectiveness of each paragraph and story beat, analysing which parts of the narrative and various character arcs are working and which aren't, and so forth. This is a type of editing that is heavy on critique, and very subjective: it's akin to the kind of feedback you might get from beta readers in many senses.

You don't have to want all three types of editing in order to contract my services for, say, just one, but developmental editing on its own will be by negotiation, and likely be an hourly fee rather than a per word cost. You also can't have line editing without copy editing, as it would be impossible to make sure it's effectively-written without making sure it's correct. (You can have copy editing without line editing, however.)

Do you accept works from people whose first language is something other than English?

Yes, this is not a mitigating factor for me. I've worked on some pieces by French- and Brazilian Portuguese-speaking authors before. My editing suggestions come with explanations of why I'm making them, so it should be clear even for ESL authors what I'm suggesting and for what reason. I'm not a translator (unless you're talking about from Akkadian or Sindarin), but as long as you're capable of having a conversation in English, we should be fine.

How should I format my files for you to work on? And how will I get them to you/receive them back?

The two most preferable options are either in a Word Document, or a GoogleDoc document, as these formats both allow me to highlight parts of the work and comment on it directly so that you can see my suggestions. Any other format will make the whole process difficult for both of us as it will require cross-referencing between your work and my responses.

It doesn't have to be formatted in any fancy way, though - as long as it's in the document and readable, even just via basic copy/paste from wherever else you write, that's fine.

We can exchange the files via email or discord, whichever makes you feel more comfortable.

Do you accept jobs unrelated to interactive fiction?

Yes! I've edited novels and short stories before as well, and done work specifically providing developmental editing on outlines so that authors can feel they have a well fleshed-out plan before they begin writing. It's just that there's not many editors out there who are familiar with the IF scene, so that's my marketing focus, so to speak.

You write using British spellings... do you know how to edit for American spellings, too?

Yes, I know how to edit for AusE and AmE as well as BrE. Many authors also use a combination of multiple spelling systems, which I can work with as long as you let me know your style and parameters.

My game is written in the style of Shakespeare... can you handle that?

Individual style, both affected and inherent, is not really a roadblock for most editors. The job of a good editor is to consider each author's personal style and make sure to respect it, rather than try to overwrite it with their own voice, so if you're writing a Tolkienian or Arthurian or epic poetry piece, I'm capable of working with that as long as you let me know what you're aiming for beforehand.

If you have a style guide with particular specifications, feel free to submit it along with your documents, and I'll abide by its specifications. I've worked on projects ranging from high fantasy to scifi to modern fiction in the past.

Can I break my writing up into multiple parts to give to you over time?

Sure! All of the interactive fiction work I've done thus far has been chapter-by-chapter, and you can break it down smaller if you like. However, I can't necessarily bring forward developmental editing concerns from one job into another at peak reliability, particularly if a long period of time has passed between the different jobs.

That's probably all for the FAQs for now - if you have any other questions, please feel free to reach out and ask!

Pricing

How much the editing will cost is based on the length of what you would like me to edit, split up into three length categories: under 10k words, 10k-100k words, and over 100k words. Prices are in AUD, Australian dollars. Per-word rates round up (ie., at a rate of 1c per 5 words, 6 words would incur the cost for 10 words).

Under 10,000 words

Copy editing: 1c per word.

Line editing: a flat $15 fee on top of the price of copy editing.

Developmental editing: a flat $20 fee on top of any other costs, or an hourly fee by negotiation if without the other two services.

10,000 to 100,000 words

Copy editing: 1c per word for the first 10,000 words, followed by 1c per each 3 words for the remainder.

Line editing: a flat $30 fee on top of the price of copy editing.

Developmental editing: a flat $80 fee on top of any other costs, or an hourly fee by negotiation if without the other two services.

Over 100,000 words

Copy editing: 1c per word for the first 10,000 words, followed by 1c per each 3 words for the remainder, plus a flat $20 fee for each 100k words after the first (ie., 150,000 words will incur a $20 fee on top of the per-word price, while 250,000 words will incur $40).

Line editing: a flat $40 fee on top of the price of copy editing, rising incrementally per 100k words after the first (ie., 150,000 words will incur a $40 fee, while 250,000 words will incur $80).

Developmental editing: a flat $80 fee on top of any other costs, rising incrementally per 100k words after the first (ie., 150,000 words will incur an $80 fee, while 250,000 words will incur $160), or an hourly fee by negotiation if without the other two services.

Code-checking

If you're able to include your code with your writing (such as by viewing a proofing copy of a game via twine), and provide me with an outline of your variables and what you're using them for, I can by request check for possible errors (such as adding to a stat when it seems like it should be subtracting instead, or using a wrong or misspelled variable) for a flat fee of $80 per 100,000 words (in this case, the code is included in the wordcount, since I'll be checking it).

Outline Help

If you want me to look over an outline or plan and provide developmental feedback before you begin writing, this can be done for an hourly fee by negotiation.

Thank you again for reading! Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

[darkbluekies]

Jerry asks #2

Previous one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: nsfw mentions, drugs, murder

Rahhh i love ur OC Jerry smmm, i wanna squish her like a stress ball and inhale her into my nose 😔😔Im conclusion, i can't wait to see more of Jerry and your writing in general!!! &lt;;33

youwannadowhatnow???? (thank you so much ily)

Bro i am SO in lesbians with jerry its not even funny

Very good >:)

how would Jerry react to reader killing someone out of self defense?(p.s. im lowkey in love with Jerry)

She will be proud over you. All that self defense she taught you actually worked. She's so pleased to know that you can take care of yourself when she's away. She'll comfort you, knowing that this most likely will take a toll on your brain.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay I promise, you did nothing wrong! You did so well. You could even have been harsher if you ask me, but you're so nice, aren't you? The nicest little baby? Come here."

As soon as Jerry puts a colouring book in front of me bam my attention is gone I am drawing I am gone I am happy

Perfect, just like she wants :>

"Giving you a coloring book to keep you occupied" Jerre what the actual f... do you think i'm a child ?! *is absolutely doing the coloring with an offended look*

Lmao coloring books really are fun, i love them so much

She'll come over every ten minutes to check up on you and see how far you've come.

"No need to glare at me when you're obviously having fun, you child." She peeks at the drawing. "That looks good, baby doll. If you finish the entire page before I'm done here I might let you sleep on my arm tonight."

Does Jerry get softer over time? She’s stand offish but we get those moments of softness, when she settles down with her darling and they both trust each other will she be soft or still only fleeting moments?

She doesn't get softer in theory, but you learn how to take her behavior and analyze it. Her cockiness is a part of her personality. it's not disappearing anytime soon. However, if you match her energy she will be much more comfortable. You might even be on the same level with her instead of being her property.

Example:

"I ought to give that son of a bitch a real pounding", Jerry mutters with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You should wipe the floor with his hair", you reply. "Use it like a real good mop."

She scoffs out a laugh. "I should, shouldn't I?"

"If you don't, I will."

You're about to leave, but she grabs your shoulder, forcing you back.

"Not a fucking chance, Y/N", she says. "He would grab your hair and swing you over his head like a damn propeller. I'm not letting him hurt you, you're too important to me. You can help me, but you're not doing anything by yourself, do you understand that?"

"In that case he'll hurt you too."

"I'll be fine." She taps your nods at the man. "If you take his glass, I'll put in the sleeping pills. Let's go, baby. I'm right behind you."

on my hands and knees begging for more information on jerry’s mommy kink

Well ... haha ... Jerry loves to be in control and know that she's the leader of the relationship. Having you call her that makes her feel important to you. Plus it feeds her gigantic ego.

She's the type to want you to call her that among others, just so people know. It makes her feel even cockier.

Of course she mocks you about it when you become shy about it, why wouldn't she do that? The more embarrassed you are, the happier she gets.

BLUE OMG I LOVE JERRY SO MUCH SHES LITERALLY RHE STANDART ‼️‼️

AGREED<33333

jerry stole my heart<3 -💤anon

She will steal more than that, she will steal your entire life

[room-surprise]

Hi there, I’ve been reading your Kabumisu fic (SMHTGOTG) and I am obsessed!!! I love the way you interpret Kabru’s and Mithrun’s personalities and adapt their stories to a modern world. I can’t wait to see more of Mithrun’s past and them meeting the Laios gang!

I truly feel like you gave them the love and depth that Ryoko Kui wants for her characters. I really appreciate it after seeing more one-dimensional takes about Dunmeshi characters on twitter (of course it’s twitter) and even tumblr as the series got more popular.

Kui put so much effort in creating a beautiful and heartfelt story, trying her best to reflect complicated social issues through fantasy setting, showing how characters with varied backgrounds/ races overcome prejudices, grow to respect each other’s differences and how human they all are deep down, all while encouraging fans to care for their health, but all some people zoom in is which race is the most obviously problematic, which race is allowed a free pass to hold prejudice, which character is not that great actually did you not know they were racist at some point in the story??? (Growth? Never heard of her. Ignorance? That’s a CRiME!)

Ironically, all of that just reminds me of how performative the canaries are when they act all shocked and offended about Mithrun stating the slur the elves used to say all the time

(So sorry for the long rant 😭, I just really appreciate your fic and the analysis your made about Dunmeshi among the increasing bad faith takes)

OMG... Anon thank you so much for writing to me! This absolutely made my day. You're very sweet. Honestly I have the best readers in the world you're all paying such close attention to what I write and picking up what I put down, and that makes me so so so happy 😭

The #1 thing I ask myself while I'm planning and writing my fics is "does this feel like something that would happen in Dungeon Meshi?" And I guess I'm doing an OK job of that because people keep telling me what my writing feels like :D

And you are 100% right, there's always been bad takes and oversimplifications of the world and characters of Dungeon Meshi like what you're describing, but since it's getting more popular that means more people are talking about it, which unfortunately means, statistically, that there are going to be more bad takes…

On the positive side, there's also been lots of wonderful new fic and art that people are making, and lots of good takes too! Just a bit frustrating to wade through the swamp of bad stuff to get to the treasure.

Gotta just try hard to stay positive and focus on making good stuff you love, and not stressing about stuff that's bad and makes you upset.

And never apologize for writing me a long message!!! I agree with everything you said and I was so happy to read this when I got up this morning, so thank you for taking the time to write to me. You can write or DM me any time (though obviously you can't stay anon if you're DMing me lol)

[dizzeeflower]

I guarantee you there is one manifestation of disability that almost everyone on this planet has actively laughed at and made fun of. yes, even you

can you guess what it is?

it's something there are constant gags about in media, something people mention in passing as a joke

something that if it presented itself in a public space i guarantee in most situations would be openly and loudly mocked (and if not humour, most people would at least express disgust)

don't believe me, do you?

✨ incontinence ✨

yep, it's incontinence. (get your giggles out now folks)

I am partially incontinent due to a fun cocktail of mental and physical disabilities and i know for a fact this is where people will stop reading, have a little laugh, and move on thinking this isn't worth the read anymore

but please, if you want to be a true disability ally, stick around and listen.

5% of the world population is estimated to be incontinent to some degree. 1 in 20 people (and no, that is not just elderly people)

so yea when you're in the grocery store, or at the gay bar, or seeing your college theatre's rendition of Grease - chances are there's a good handful of people in the crowd who struggle with incontinence.

it might be just someone who has minimal stress incontinence - something very common in people who have been pregnant - or someone who has adhd and forgets to go to the bathroom, missing the cues from their body that they are desperate, or yea it could be the 85 yr old grandma who wears diapers.

the point is, all of these people deserve respect for their bodies. everyone does. and this includes bodies that malfunction sometimes.

'omg thats so funny im gonna pee myself' 'reddit boys can go piss in ur little baby diapers' - great comeback bestie, but can we move on from them now? im gonna be honest these don't offend me personally, but it's worth being aware of where the humour of these comments comes from. its rooted in ableism

but something that does offend me and something that genuinely triggers me to have panic attacks and can push me into an anxious depressive state for days at a time, is when a character wetting themself is used as the butt of a joke on screen.

i'm thinking season one of stranger things. yeah, most of us know the scene right? when eleven forces a bully to pee his pants in front of the whole school? yep, triggers my ptsd right good that one does. and my siblings ptsd. and im sure many many many more ppl with incontinence (or even ppl without it who had the unfortunate experience of an accident in school)

if you found it funny, i dont care at this point. keep doing you. i dont blame you, okay? but i just want to ask that you reconsider WHY you laughed. 'because he pissed himself' okay but WHY is that funny? 'older kids and adults arent supposed to piss themselves' yea well it happens sometimes to most people at least once, and to 1 in 20 people much more often than that. so WHY is that funny?

keep asking why why why... and if in the end you can't think of WHY, then maybe there isnt a reason for you to laugh at it except that you've been taught to by osmosis. because everyone else laughs

dont give up here, because this is where i want you to really think. is it worth it?

is it worth laughing at something just because everyone else is, and risk 5% of the population going into a self conscious spiral, a panic attack because of your mocking, making them think they will never be accepted?

obviously u making a "im gonna piss myself" comment while laughing does not put 1 in 20 ppl into a panic attack, but u get where im coming from now i hope

so if you're still reading, im guessing you want to reconsider some of your behaviours and comments about this subject. thank you! now that you've realised where these jokes are rooted, you're going to start noticing a lot more often just how much this disability is mocked in society.

but what else can you do to help?

consider sticking up for us because understandably incontinent people dont tend to stick up for themselves lest it out us as incontinent. because admitting that is still met with laughter and disgust. help us jumpstart the incontinence acceptance by speaking up for the silent minority whenever an incontinence joke comes up in class/family gatherings/general conversation (this is my opinion, any other incontinent folks are v welcome to challenge this if u would rather ppl didnt for whatever reason!)

another thing you can do is - you won't like this - dont call ppl disgusting for buying adult diapers with silly animal characters on. unpopular opinion here on tumblr dot com, i know

but listen: incontinence products are disability aids! pullups, incontinence pads/pants, adult diapers, these are all disability aids. not products of k!nk, not things to snigger at in the pharmacy.

and would you complain about someone putting hello kitty stickers on their walking cane? would you think it gross for someone to doodle little stars and affirmations on their wheelchair armrest? is it wrong if someone wants pink hearing aids instead of a nude coloured ones? no?

then don't laugh if someone wants lil hearts on their pullups, and don't fake gag if you happen to see purple patterned adult diapers on ur dash. sometimes humans just like to decorate their bodies and extensions of their bodies. this is just that. and lets be real, plain white nappies just aren't the vibe sometimes

~ while we're at it, ppl with stoma bags are beautiful and deserve to wear whatever they want to feel comfortable and handsome as hell 😘 ~

and let me address the elephant in the room. yeah, some people have a f3tish for this stuff (just like anything can be made into a f3tish). whatever. if ur against that stuff then idc pls dont talk abt it in the tags and comments. anyway it is NOT an excuse to find actual disabled ppl disgusting for needing these aids.

and heres the funny thing: you usually can't tell if someone uses diapers for a f3tish or for their disability, or possibly both!

so you're gonna have to not attack random ppl on the internet bc you don't know what their life is like (what a shocking new hot take)

if a 46 yr old balding man with a beer belly and chest hair who isn't visibly disabled mentions he uses diapers, don't assume he's a creep and its a k!nk. it might be, sure, but it might be a condition or disability that you have no right to comment on or judge him for.

so if youre squicked by it just block and move on, don't send anon hate, dont make a post about how these types of people make you sick. you might just lose a valued mutual who was secretly incontinent and thinks you hate them for it now (whether this is right or wrong, its often how these things come across)

(btw if anyone fuckin talks abt k!nk on this post im going to scream directly in ur ear :) make ur own posts and don't bring any f3tish discussion onto mine)

had to get that out of the way unfortunately because this is a condition that is so unfortunately overrepresented by the f3tish side. i wouldnt have to talk abt k!nk on many other posts about disabilty aids but this one unfortunately was necessary

it's exhausting

imagine having a disability that requires aids thats almost EVERYONE winces at, laughs at, mocks loudly. and then to come on tumblr, the place that is meant to be full of acceptance from strangers in similar circumstances, queer and disabled and poc - but the moment your aid is brought up in discussion its seen as something disgusting and the property of freaks and creeps and people who are evil and want to do children harm

it's exhausting, like i said

i dont have much else to add honestly, im shit at writing cohesive posts (especially when im physically shaking with anxiety bc woohoo announcing to possibly thousands of ppl that im incontinent) but if anything i just hope you will question yourself if you laugh at this stuff in future

im going to go back into my little anxiety hibernation hole and never open up about this condition again ✌🏼

as for the incontinent population, we’re pretty silent about this condition so it’s easy to forget abt us. but please just keep us in mind and stick up for us when u can

— for clarity: incontinence is not ALWAYS a disability, it is a condition that can affect ppl on a sliding scale. for some it is a mild inconvenience, for some it severely impacts daily life. for some it is the only physical condition their body experiences, for some it is a symptom of a predetermined mental or physical disability such as generalized anxiety disorder or paraplegia. whether or not it is considered a disability, acceptance of ALL incontinence is a good step to eradicating this source of ableism —

no one has to reblog this but pls consider it if this has opened ur eyes a lil and u wanna open some more

[blue-bujo]

Bowled Over (Roy Kent x Reader): Chapter Eight

You work at a bowling alley and a young girl named Phoebe has a birthday party there. You catch her uncle's eye.

Roy Kent x female reader

Will try to update roughly every two weeks

Chapter Eight: Roy Kent, Baby Whisperer

(7.2k words)

Warnings: Roy Kent-level language (you know what you're in for), insecurity, mentions of sex, tooth-rotting fluff

Summary: Roy takes a big step and asks you to come to a team dinner at Ola’s, where you get to properly meet the greyhounds and their families.

Author's note: Buckle in for a long one! This is to tide you over, because I probably won't be posting a new chapter in January; we've got family birthdays three out of the four weekends, so I don't want to stress about getting something out in time. Happy New Year, and I'll see you with a new chapter in a month!

You had great fun driving Roy’s SUV for the next few weeks. It was large and expensive, so people tended to give it a wide berth. And since you didn’t have to walk to work, you were getting to sleep a bit later, which was doing wonders for you.

It was amazing that Roy let you use the Beast without any hesitation, that he trusted you that much. That he wanted to spend time with you, and keep you around, and know you deeper. Things were going very well between the two of you.

Lettie was completely invested. She wanted to know every single detail, and had done her homework on Roy once you’d revealed that he was a public figure. She’d questioned every single text and phone call that made you smile during a shift, demanding to know exactly how Roy was treating you right. You’d even caught her telling the other members of staff that you were dating “a football legend.”

Roy had gotten a kick out of that when you’d told him one date night. It was at your favorite restaurant, a little hole-in-the-wall Italian place where he was unlikely to be spotted by paparazzi. Rumors were starting to swirl that he had a “mystery girl,” which both thrilled and terrified you, but thankfully no pictures had been sneakily snapped. Yet. You were still able to enjoy your anonymity, laughing and twirling pasta with the man you’d been lucky enough to meet while you worked his niece’s birthday party.

“So let me understand this, she tried to tell Snack Bar James that he’d forever missed out on catching you because now your standards are too high for the likes of him?” Roy’s eyes were crinkled at the edges as he tried not to grin.

“Pretty much,” you laughed. “I think we were both relieved. Lettie’s been trying to set us up for the entire year he’s worked with us, but he’s obviously more interested in Ashley in the pro shop.”

“Still, that Lettie’s a fuckin’ savage,” said Roy, respect heavy in his gruff voice. Then he took a bite of his chicken parmesan and sighed happily, looking at you.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing. Just- this is nice. Us. I’ve been enjoying myself.”

“That’s good to know, considering we haven’t really done anything. What with your knee and everything.”

You both glanced down to the offending appendage in its articulating brace. Roy would hopefully get the okay from physio the following week to begin putting weight back onto it and using it more normally, but you were enjoying being the chauffer for now. It leant itself to quiet days in, calm conversations and movie nights snuggled on the couch, sometimes with Phoebe as well. It was hardly any different from your quiet existence before, except you weren’t lonely anymore.

“You’re kidding about doing nothing, right?” The man put down his fork and trained his gaze on you. It was one of the things about him that you loved best; he made sure that those around him felt seen. “This isn’t nothing, it’s fucking everything. I get to be a normal bloke with you, hearing the petty gossip of normal people. I haven’t had this in pretty much my entire adult life. I love this.”

He paused, his mouth open like he wanted to continue the thought. Like he might want to say that he loved you, but he didn’t say anything more. It disappointed you more than you expected; you realized that you maybe cared more deeply for him than you thought. Maybe you loved him.

A grunt jolted you out of your thoughts. Roy was looking at you tensely.

“I just fucked that up. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

And it was you were confused by your own feelings, so it was okay that he was taking responsibility for acting on his. He reached for your hand and held it tight.

“I’m an idiot. I know. Can I make it up to you?”

Your attention piqued, you nodded. “Yes, you can. How are you making it up to me?”

You watched as he took a breath, sat up a little taller, and asked, “Come to a family dinner with me?”

“A family dinner?”

“Well, we call them family dinners. Sam started it. It’s really a team dinner.”

Up to now, Roy had kept his football life separate from his dating life. You were excited that he seemed ready for his circles to start converging.

“Are you really sure you want me to come?” you asked. “That’s a big step, Roy.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. The boys have a pool going on why my mood’s been so abnormal, and I’d love to prove them all wrong. They think it’s because I’m on painkillers or some shit.”

“Didn’t you tell them that you’re not taking anything stronger than Tylenol?”

“Of course I fucking did, but they didn’t believe me. What do you say? Want to help me prove them wrong?”

“I would love to help you prove them wrong, but only if I get a cut of the pool,” you giggled. “Considering I’m the cause of it, I deserve it.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “Fine, you get a cut of the winnings if you can convince any of those idiots to share with you. Happy?”

“Yes, very.”

“Fuckin’ right.”

The two of you smiled at each other over your pastas. You were happy, even more so that he wanted you to start meeting his team. He’d been very protective of them, and of you, and you suspected of himself in keeping his worlds apart. You could understand it; it was always more comfortable keeping things in their separate placed. But you were pretty excited that he deemed you worthy of introducing into another part of his life.

“What are team dinners like?” you inquired. Then you took a large bite of your dinner so he’d have to say more than two words.

“They’re fine,” grumbled the man in response. “Once a month we all go to Ola’s, and Sam has us try some new Nigerian dish he’s thinking about putting on the menu. Richard brings wine, because he’s fucking French, and the lads destroy a week’s worth of training with how much they eat. It’s nothing fancy. People bring dates if they’ve got any.”

“But not Roy Kent,” you pointed out. “The day he brings a date will be one for the books.”

“Hmm.”

If it was possible for a man to look nervous while eating chicken parm, Roy was doing it as he thought about bringing a girl to a team function. You smiled reassuringly at him and tapped his foot under the table with yours.

“It’ll be great. I’ve already met them anyway, so now it will just be a reintroduction, which is much less awkward,” you promised. “I’ve been meaning to catch Jamie for a few weeks now.”

“Why?”

“To thank him for chauffeuring you around on the days I work! He must really like you for him to do that, and I need to thank him for being good to you.”

Roy could obviously tell that you were trying to push his buttons, but took the bait all the same. “The only thing he is to me is a prick. Please don’t encourage him. He’s been trying to corner me in the car park for the past two weeks to see who’s been dropping me off. I’m trying to protect you from him for as long as possible.”

His logic made no sense. “By inviting me to meet him and the rest of your idiots?”

“Beat ‘em to the punch,” he said. “We do it on my terms instead of theirs, so I control the conversation. It’s tactics, just like on the pitch.”

You threw one last jab. “I thought Nate was the tactics man?”

Those expressive eyebrows scrunched down. “Fuck you, babe.”

You finished your meals, ordered dessert, and ended your date night. After dropping Roy off at his house, you went home to your flat. You fell asleep thinking about the team dinner, three nights away, and how lucky you felt to be getting more serious with the man who insisted he didn’t care about it but obviously wanted you to go with him. The man who wanted you.

The day of the team dinner, you pulled up to Nelson Road early. You and Roy had decided that it would be easier for both of you to be the first to the restaurant and have the attention spread out, rather than arrive together later and be bombarded by the entire team at once. You’d thought you’d timed it so that nobody would see you idling in the parking lot, but after a moment, you realized there was someone in the Aston Martin parked next to you.

It was Jamie Tartt, and he was sitting in the passenger seat of his own car waiting for you to notice him. Once you did, he hopped out and motioned for you to roll down the window.

“And what are you doin’ in Coach’s car?”

“Driving,” you quipped.

“Driving Coach’s car?” the man probed. “When Coach just so happens to have someone driving him around while his knee is unusable? And when there are rumors that he’s got a girl?”

You did your best to keep your face neutral. “I know, it’s quite a coincidence, but stranger things have happened. Coach Kent and I just happen to have the same taste in cars.”

It wasn’t a lie, just not wholly the truth. Now that you had driven the Beast for a while, you loved it. Jamie eyed you good naturedly and didn’t say anything else, content to lean in the window. You could see why Roy found him annoying at times, but also why he would probably die for him. His manner was so casual that he was completely disarming.

“What are you doing here, Jamie?” you questioned. “No one else is here, so training can’t be done yet.”

“Me? Nothin’. Just forgot me headband.”

Your eyes darted to the elastic currently holding back his floppy hair. Strands were flying away; it had obviously been there for a while. You raised an eyebrow to let him know you weren’t fooled by his lie.

He shrugged. “All right, you caught meh. I’ve been trying to catch Coach’s driver for weeks, but haven’t managed it until today. I was hoping the rumors were true about our old man finding a girlfriend, and I’m really glad it’s you.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Because it’s right, innit? He hasn’t looked at anybody the way he looked at you at the bowling alley. Not since Keeley, and that look was different.”

Keeley. The model, and previous girlfriend. You felt extremely insecure every time you thought about her with Roy, despite his insistence that you didn’t need to. “I don’t know about that. Keeley’s famous.”

With a scoff, Jamie challenged, “And do you think that matters to Granddad? He only does what he’s sure of. Anyways, he’ll be out soon, and I don’t want him to see me out here. I told him I were being sick so he wouldn’t ask any questions. Are you coming to family dinner tonight?”

Nodding, you replied, “Yes, but it’s a secret. You can’t tell the team. It’s going to be a surprise.”

“I won’t tell, swear down.” He started bouncing back and forth between both feet. “I better get back inside. I’ll see you tonight!”

“You sure will. Oh, and Jamie!” you called as he jogged away.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for driving Roy on the days I can’t. We both appreciate it, even if he’s too tough to say anything.”

Jamie grew two inches taller under your praise. He pointed at you and smiled. “Oh, he definitely needs to keep you around. See yah, Splits!”

The young man bounced back into the stadium, leaving you to wait for Roy. You didn’t see the prick in Jamie the way Roy had described him to you, but then, you weren’t in charge of him. You supposed somebody that chipper could be a bit of a handful. But you were pleased; the first interaction with somebody know you were the girlfriend had gone well, and the information hadn’t even been a surprise. It boded well for tonight.

Roy was upstairs; you could hear the steady thumping of his crutches as he got ready for the dinner. He’d finally mastered navigating the stairs, thank goodness, so you didn’t feel the need to run back and forth grabbing clothes and toiletries for him. This gave you time to do your makeup. Admittedly, you didn’t need long, as you were pretty minimal when it came to painting your face, but you were nervous, and kept messing it up.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t met the team before, and your conversation with Jamie had gone well earlier today, but tonight was your public debut as Roy Kent’s girlfriend. After tonight, there was no going back. There would probably even be press hiding somewhere, waiting to be the first to confirm the news that Roy was seeing somebody new.

“What’re you doing? You’re staring into space?”

Roy’s gruff voice startled you, and you almost stabbed yourself with your mascara wand. You hadn’t heard him come downstairs, but his reflection in the mirror was leaning on the doorframe, like he’d been watching you for a little bit, his face soft.

“You are so quiet when you want to be, it’s scary,” you scolded, turning to face him. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry. I don’t mean to be scary; it just happens.” He looked at you, a small smile curving his lips. “You look great.”

With a scoff, you told him “I look okay at best. I’m not done yet.”

Roy stepped closer and looked you up and down carefully. “No, you look done and you look incredible. Don’t change one thing. What the fuck has you so freaked out?”

“After tonight, there’s no hiding,” you said in a small voice. “If I make a bad first impression, or a photographer gets a picture of me mid-sneeze, or choking on my food or something, that’s it. I will forever be the idiot that you took pity on.”

“No, you’ll be the young and beautiful date of a washed-up old has-been.” Roy kissed the top of your head. “The team will go easy on you. Its me they’ll be fucking with.”

You looked up at him, hovering above your hair. “Do you promise?”

“I promise. Now finish up, so we can get going. I want to beat everyone there.”

“Okay. I’ll be out in a minute,” you said, turning back to the bathroom mirror. Roy’s reflection swung away on its crutches, and you quickly put on the rest of your mascara before pulling the green sweater over your head and doing your hair. When you walked into the living room a few minutes later, Roy was gazing up at you with the look that Phoebe called his heart eyes.

“Is that the same jumper you wore on our first date?” he asked.

“Yeah. I remember you liked it, but I don’t have to wear it if it’s not right.”

“It’s perfect,” said Roy fondly. “They’ll all love you.”

You both walked to the car, and Roy put on his cheesy pump-up playlist for you. It only got through a few songs before you arrived at Ola’s, but it had the desired effect, and you were less anxious about the impending ordeal.

Roy was looking around as you parked the Beast. “I don’t see any of their cards,” he grunted. “Let’s get inside while we’re still in the fucking clear.” He reached toward you and squeezed your hand. “Ready?”

Squeezing back, you braced yourself and hopped out. Sam Obisanya’s restaurant, Ola’s, was a cute little corner unit deeper than it was wide. Airy curtains obscured most of the dining room from outside view, but you could see inside enough to know that you and Roy were the first ones there, as planned. Two people were bustling in the back when you opened the door for Roy, and while one ducked into the kitchen, the other approached.

“Coach!” called Sam, smiling widely. “Welcome! I’m so glad you could make it, although we’re not quite ready for everyone yet.”

Roy was obscuring you from Sam’s view while you followed him in. “Wanted to make sure that the close parking spots would be open, so we came early.” Your boyfriend stepped to the side as he said “we,” and pulled you to him.

Only for a moment, Sam faltered, then his eyes lit up as he recognized you, and realized the rumor about his coach was true.

“You’re the lady from the bowling alley!”

“Guity,” you chuckled, extending a hand to properly introduce yourself, but before you could do that, Sam took it in both of his and shook it warmly.

“I am so very glad that you are here, and that you are with Roy! What is your name?”

Roy introduced you before you could respond, and the sheer amount of pride in his voice made your heart melt a bit. He was acting like he didn’t deserve to be on your arm, not the other way around. And he was smiling, unashamedly.

“I am so glad to officially meet you,” beamed Sam, “and so glad that Coach gets to be with someone so lovely. I do hope that you enjoy yourself tonight.”

“I’m sure I will. Thank you, Sam. If the food is as good as the restaurant looks, I’m in for a treat.”

“Do you want to sit down, babe?” Roy gestured to a table in the corner, out of view of the door.

After a last smile at Sam, you joined Roy. He practically threw himself into a chair, and then carefully stretched his knee out onto one of the extra seats.

“That didn’t go so badly, as far as introductions go,” you told him.

The man grunted. “Sam is the golden child of the team. I wasn’t worried about him. It’s the other ones that’ll be idiots about it.”

The other ones showed up shortly thereafter. From your corner, you and Roy watched the team slowly trickle in. Coach Shelley and his fiancée were the earliest, and both lit up when their gazes settled on you. Jade planted herself next to you and told you how happy she was that there would be another girl there to talk to when Roy and Nate inevitably started talking tactics. You liked Jade; she could hold her own.

Some of the second team came in next. They all greeted you warmly, and heaped verbal abuse on Roy for taking so long to settle down. One of them, Paul, was the oldest on the team since Roy’s retirement, and promised you a few stories of their time playing together before his daughter pulled him away.

The defenders and midfielders arrived together, minus Jan Maas, who was apparently late to everything. Isaac McAdoo shook your hand seriously.

“He’s good to you, yeah?” he asked.

“Of course I’m fucking good to her!” Roy spluttered. “You’ve known me for years!”

“It’s always the ones you think you know,” Isaac said darkly. He looked you in the eye, still holding your hand. “If he ever stops being good to you, you call me and I’ll fuck him up for you. You’re at a family dinner, so you’re one of us now.”

“I’ll let you know if that ever happens,” you promised, trying your hardest not to laugh at how Roy was gripping one of his crutches like he was going to hit Isaac with it. The captain wisely moved out of reach before that could happen.

Most of the team didn’t seem all that surprised to see you. You saw a few bank notes changing hands throughout the course of the night, but everyone was more or less calm about you being there. Roy even halfway relaxed, until Jamie came in with Jan Maas in tow.

“The dinner can start now, ‘cos the party’s arrived!” he called as he came in, arms wide. “Splits! What are you doing here?”

Jamie was acting like your parking lot conversation had never happened. He plopped down next to Roy and stared at him cheekily. “Coach, I’m surprised at yah. Keeping a lovely lady all to yourself? Not cool.”

“And why should I have to share every fucking detail of my life with a prick like you? You’d only make a huge deal out of it and lord it over the whole team that you knew something about me that no one else did, and then no one would leave me the fuck alone.”

“Roy,” you interrupted, sensing that the rant would have been a long one, “Jamie already knows. He saw me driving your car when I came to pick you up.”

Eyes narrowing, Roy could only growl. You and Jamie grinned at each other.

“I think it’s great, man. You needed some happiness in your life, and she seems to be giving it to you. We all knew something was going right for you, and it definitely wasn’t your knee.”

Your boyfriend’s nostrils flared once, but then he looked at you and softened, just the slightest bit.

“All right, fair enough,” he admitted. “Life isn’t terrible right now, even with my shit knee.”

“She must be special, to make you that happy. You aren’t having any sex right now with your knee like that,” deadpanned Jan Maas.

There were shouts. Half the team jumped out of their chairs anticipating a fight. You reached out to grab Roy’s shoulder, as did Jamie, you noticed. Bad knee or not, you wouldn’t put it past Roy to lunge at the taller man after a comment like that. He had already grabbed one of his crutches and was brandishing it like a club.

Coach Shelley was talking the team, and the dutchman, down. “That was uncalled-for, even for you, Jan. There are ladies present.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, Coach. I can handle it,” Colin Hughes joked. It made everyone else relax, but Roy was still furious.

“I’ll kill him. I swear to God, I’ll fucking kill him.” His growl certainly sounded murderous. “Embarrassing you like that.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” you liked. “You told me he could be rude.”

Jamie shook his head disapprovingly. “Rude and Dutch. That was mental. He’s lucky our old man here is laid up.”

“I could still kick his ass, just let go of me!”

“How about some dinner?” Sam shouted over the din in his dining room. “Simi and I have some new dishes for you all to try.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the Beards?” someone from second team asked.

“Who knows when they’ll show up?” someone else called sarcastically. “Queenie probably pitched another fir, and they’re never on time anyway.”

You looked to Roy. “Queenie?”

A growl; Roy seemed incapable of speech as he glared at Jan Maas. Jamie answered your question.

“Coach Beard’s daughter. They named her after the chess piece. Poor babeh hasn’t forgiven them for it. She’s always screaming.”

A few of the men loudly agreed that dinner should be served before Coach Beard and his family arrived so everyone else would be able to eat in peace. You weren’t sure that any team function could be considered “peaceful,” but agreed that dinner shouldn’t wait. Sam and his chef Simi – you couldn’t figure out whether they were dating or not – brought out countless platters of delicious food, and you all dug in. With every bite, you found yourself falling in love with Nigerian cuisine. Even Roy’s bad mood couldn’t stand up to it, and soon he was listening intently to the conversations around him, his hand on your knee under the table.

You quickly learned that not many people kept to one seat. Higgins and O’Brien found their way to your table to learn more about bowling from you, and you spent an enjoyable few minutes talking strategies, moreso for O’Brien’s benefit than Higgins’. The reserve keeper had enjoyed the team bowling night so much that he was considering joining a league. You would have been happy gushing about your sport all night, since everybody at work had already heard everything you had to say, and O’Brien was willing to listen. Higgins, too; you learned that he was registered for a tournament that you were also competing in at your alley, and he wanted to know which oil patterns were going to be laid. But your conversation was cut short when the door to the restaurant opened, and a screaming toddler was dragged in by her parents.

You recognized Coach Beard; he was often shown next to Roy during match broadcasts. The woman with him must be his wife Jane, who Roy had told you was slightly insane, but in a different way than Beard was. The two-year-old looked more like Jane, and was crying as only an unhappy toddler could. Half of the team looked sympathetically at Beard, Roy included, and the other half looked annoyed. Queenie didn’t seem to be popular.

She didn’t stop crying and whining. For twenty minutes, the Beards, and eventually everybody else, tried to cheer her up while they ate, but it was useless. People started scooping her up and passing her around, just trying to keep her occupied long enough for her to forget she was upset.

It didn’t work.

People were starting to get antsy, looking at the exit as if contemplating how quickly they could reach it. Wives and girlfriends were still trying to soothe Queenie, while Beard and Jane scarfed down a meal. Jade reached out for a turn, and put her purse in front of the girl to distract her. You would be the next victim if Jade couldn’t calm her down.

Unfortunately, digging through a purse wasn’t what Queenie wanted. She looked like she was gearing up for another fit. The adults at your table exchanged glances.

“Does anybody have a better idea?” challenged Jade.

You could only shrug. The only children you had in your life were the kids in the youth league, and they were older. Toddlers didn’t make any sense to you. Nate also seemed to be at a loss. After waiting a moment, Roy let out a sigh and rolled his eyes.

“All right, give her here,” he grumbled, holding out his hands. “Don’t any of you know any kids? Fucking amateurs, all of you.”

Once he had Queenie, Roy stood her up in his lap, holding her up by her hands. They looked at each other seriously, as if acknowledging each other’s existence. Roy did the same thing with you, you realized; every time he spent time with you, he ignored his surroundings to focus on you. Then Roy lowered her hands, and rather than stand on him, the toddler chose to snuggle up on him, her front pressed against his chest. He wrapped an arm around her and tucked his chin into her curls, which she’d wedged under his head.

Ola’s was silent. Mouths hung open in shock, eyes stared at the manager. He glared at everybody.

“What are you all staring at?”

“She stopped,” Beard said, awestruck. “She hasn’t stopped in days.”

“You’re the fuckin’ baby whisperer,” chuckled Jamie.

“You’re forgetting about Phoebe. She was small once. I learned with her.”

Roy was speaking to the room, but he was looking at Queenie burrowed into his chest. There was something so gentle in the way that he was with her; you hadn’t even seen it with Phoebe, maybe because she was older. It was like he was marveling at her, or in her willingness to trust him. Seeing this gruff man melt made you fall a little deeper for him.

The team was stunned at this peaceful side of their coach. Across the dining room, Beard and Jame were having a hushed conversation. Roy was choosing to ignore all of them; he was focusing on Queenie, who was starting to look like she was going to fall asleep as he rubber her back.

“Incredible,” Nate murmured. “I didn’t know you had this in you, Roy.”

“No reason to let it out at Nelson Road,” he grunted. “Now shut up. She’s not going to stay quiet if you idiots wake her up.”

Rather than say anything else, the assistant coach went to another table with Jade. Jamie followed suit, leaving you with Roy and Queenie.

“She really trusts you, Roy,” you observed quietly.

“Hmm.”

“Any reason why? Have you babysat her before?”

“No. I think she can tell that I’m just as scared of the world as she is, and she takes some comfort in that.”

“Roy Kent is scared? What does Roy Kent have to be scared of?”

Your boyfriend finally tore his eyes from Queenie to look at you.

“Roy Kent the footballer wasn’t scared of anything. But Just Roy… He’s effing terrified of life after football, and how great it’s turning out to be, and how much could be lost if he effs it up.”

It was startlingly honest. You’d never heard Roy that open before, even when it was just the two of you. Kids were apparently his weakness, which kind of made sense. He was fiercely protective and took care of everybody he cared about; children needed caring for more than adults did, so he probably felt even more himself while he had someone small to protect. Plus, he apparently related to how he thought kids viewed the world, which probably contributed even more to his being comfortable enough to share.

Your thoughts were moving too fast and with too much emotion for you to articulate anything, so you reached out to gently play with Queenie’s hair. Roy, his chin still in those curls, snuck a quick kiss onto your hand and smiled contentedly at you. It would have been a tender moment, had Jane and Coach Beard not chosen it as their moment to approach. Some of the usual grumpiness settled back onto your boyfriend’s face once he noticed them.

“Roy,” Jane began in what could only be described as a wheedling tone.

“What do you want?”

“We were hoping we could ask you to watch Queenie for a bit. You’re so good with her, and she’s been so difficult the past few weeks…”

Beard interrupted. “We’ve got to do some stuff around the apartment, and it will be a whole lot easier without a 25-month-old screaming the entire time.”

“It will only be about an hour,” continued Jane. “We’ll be quick.”

They looked pleadingly at Roy, who rolled his eyes. He didn’t have to think for long.

“Fine, but only because she’s effing asleep, and because I’m still injured, which are two very good reasons for me not to move.”

“Thanks, Roy,” said Beard. “We’ll be quick.”

“Effin’ hope so. If you’re not back in an hour, like you said, I won’t be doing the training reports for the rest of the month, you will. That’s my condition.”

“Deal.” Coach Beard took his wife’s hand. “We appreciate this, Roy.”

There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “You’re wasting valuable time. Now scram.”

You heard something that could almost be a laugh come from Roy as he watched the could run off.

“What are you laughing about?”

“I just got out of a month’s worth of reports,” he chuckled smugly. “It’s a ten minute trip to their flat, if they run the whole way, and they won’t. They can’t keep their hands off each other.”

“So you just agreed to babysit a difficult toddler for who knows how long, just to get out of doing some paperwork, because you know your coworker would be distracted by his wife?”

“Pretty effing smart, right?”

Roy was quite pleased with himself. He even kept conversation up for a few minutes more than usual before he let it die, and by then, Sam and Simi were bringing out the next course. Yor table was given a wide berth – nobody wanted to risk waking Queenie – but you and Roy were fin with that, and enjoyed having a break from everyone’s attention.

Until Dani Rojas walked over.

“Hola, Roy! Have you seen Coach Beard?”

At this point, it had been well over an hour since he and Jane had left.

“No, they went home to get some things done without Queenie in the way.”

“Oh. So you are babysitting, yes?”

With a suspicious look at you, Roy answered, “Yeah. Why are you fu- effing asking?”

“No reason, really. Mostly, I wanted to tell you how good it is to see you and Señora Splits here together. You look like a real familia, sitting here with the little Queen.”

You felt some color rise to your cheeks, and saw how Roy shifted his weight uncomfortably. First Jan Maas bringing up the sex thing, and now Dani Rojas bringing up a family, kids! This team definitely wasn’t shy.

“Oh! I apologize, you just started dating. These topics are probably uncomfortable, yes?” Dani glanced between you and Roy apologetically, reacting to your reactions. “I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”

“Dani,” growled your boyfriend as he put his hands over Queenie’s little ears, “fuck off. Now, please.”

The striker retreated back to his original seat, which left you and Roy alone again. You subconsciously started twisting a ring you always wore, your mind racing as you contemplated everything. Did you want kids? You’d never really had the urge, unlike the girls you’d grown up around, who’d had baby names picked out by the age of twelve. Nothing specifically bothered you about kids, but you’d never been in a hurry to have any. But seeing Roy in front of you, murmuring softly to Queenie…

Maybe, with the right person, domestic bliss wasn’t unattainable.

“What’re you thinking about? You’re doing your ring twisting thing.”

You weren’t ready to have this conversation yet. Not here, where a footballer could interrupt at any second. You chose to ask your own question instead.

“What were you saying to Queenie just now?”

“I was saying sorry for swearing, just in case she heard me tell Dani to eff off.” The corners of his mouth were threatening to turn upwards. “I’ve been trying so hard all night not to corrupt this baby the way I’ve corrupted Phoebe, but at some point, you have to say it.”

“I was wondering why you were censoring yourself,” you smiled. “It’s been strange.”

“Yeah. Not how I expected my night to go, but it’s been all right. My knee’s killing me from having this one in my lap all night, and I need to use the toilet, but other than that.”

“Where are the Beards? It’s been closer to two hours. You should try to get two month’s worth of reports out of it.”

The twinkle returned to Roy’s eyes as he realized the genius of your suggestion. Then he shifted Queenie higher, probably to relieve some pressure from his knee.

“Knowing those two, they’re probably all over each other. Hopefully not making another of these little gremlins, because they don’t give enough attention to the one they already have.”

“Do you think it’s an attention issue?” you asked. “She’s had attention all night.”

Before he answered you, Roy let out an aggravated sigh. “No, she’s been handled all night. None of that lot actually interacted with her, they just passed her around trying to distract her. Kids are people, too, you know. They want to feel included the same way adults do. Honestly, babe, you coach youth bowling, how do you not know this?”

“I guess I’m just good at seeing them in the context of bowling, where it’s my job to watch after them,” you mused. “But I may not be a natural like you.”

You expected the man to respond with something sarcastic, but he looked thoughtfully at Queenie once more. As did you. As much as you didn’t want to have the conversation here in the open, seeing him so comfortable with her felt like it might be a small glimpse at a future. The two of you hadn’t been together long – only six weeks – but it was serious, and future wasn’t out of the question for you.

Gradually, you felt Roy’s gaze on you. All harshness was dissolved from his face.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this in public, and I’m with you on that, but I want you to know… I don’t hate this. I think I’ve known since Phoebe was born, but I hadn’t really thought about it until my career went up in flames and I had to effing retire. I think I want a family to take care of. Kids. Or just one, I don’t know. But I need you to know that before we fu- effing go any further. We can talk about it later, when you’re ready. If you’re ready. You don’t have to be, and if it was too early to say, I’m really sorry. I can be –“

“Roy, stop.” His voice was getting high and strained, and he had yet to take a breath; you had to make him stop to breathe. “I think it may be something I want, too. It’s okay.”

And it was, you realized. The man in front of you, holding the toddler that wasn’t yours, could be something very serious. He’d taken a chance on you, somebody decidedly outside his world, and brought you in. He’d given you his trust and his weakness, and become a steward of yours. He was the baby whisperer. He could be the endgame.

It was all so simple. He could be it. And he seemed to think that you might be it, too.

“Oi, take Queenie for a second.” Always abrupt, Roy seemed to be switching topics. “I can’t stand it anymore; I have to get up before I piss myself, and before my good knee locks up.”

You held your hands out, and Roy passed you a drowsy toddler. You made sure to acknowledge her before she settled, as he had, and she didn’t fuss as she nestled into you, using one of your boobs as a pillow. Roy was already stumping away towards the back of the restaurant, and the team was busy passing around a dessert, so you were alone with your thoughts. It may have just been biology, or attraction, or the fact that sex had been reference more than once tonight, but cradling a sleepy little kid that had been handed off to you by the man you were currently seeing was doing something to your insides. A yearning was suddenly there. You could imagine a tiny, foul-mouthed menace running amuck.

Roy was it.

Roy was so distracted that he hadn’t noticed he was washing his hands with sanitizer until it found a paper cut. He swore and corrected his mistake, then looked his reflection dead in the eye in the mirror.

The man hadn’t seen himself wear this expression before. In the press, he’d always looked angry, all hard angles and glares. Having Queenie all night had melted it all away, and Just Roy, staring back at him looked… Fond? He wasn’t sure. It was something soft.

He reached for a paper towel to dry his hands, his mind spinning. Taking care of Queenie all night had ignited something warm in his chest, which felt suspiciously like his heart. But it wasn’t really about Queenie, was it?

No, it wasn’t. It was about the woman who’d been beside him, who hadn’t flinched through this whole night. And its many twists, turns, and blunt footballers. Splits had exuded grace all night, and he hadn’t consciously noticed until this moment how peaceful his normally-raging thoughts were whenever he was with her.

Just Roy was wearing heart eyes when he looked back in the mirror.

“Fuck. She’s the one.”

As he hobbled out of the toilets and back to the table, Roy knew with more certainty than he’d ever had in his life. He wanted to serve her, to protect her, to have her, to love her. For her to hold his kids as gently and tenderly as she was holding Queenie right now, who hadn’t even noticed the return of her parents.

Fuck being Roy Kent. He wanted to be Just Roy with her. Splits was it.

She smiled up at him when he got closer.

“Better?”

Why was she asking if he was better? Oh, right, his quick retreat to the toilets, which had been a bit of a lie because he’d needed to get his emotions in check more than he’d actually needed to go.

“Yeah, much better, thanks. How was Queenie?”

“An angel,” Splits answered. “You’re onto something with this whole acknowledgement thing. I was just telling the Beards.”

Jane was wearing an irritated expression, probably mad that other people were telling her how to manage her own child. Beard just looked thankful that said child wasn’t currently screaming. They both looked red and puffy around the mouth. Roy was pretty sure that they’d been making another fucking gremlin, and to his surprise, was insanely jealous.

Fuck, he was falling hard. It scared him how intensely sure he was that Splits was the one.

He had to get out. It was too much, being around his team, his family.

“Are you ready to go?” he questioned, more harshly than he’d meant to.

She shrugged. “Yeah, we can go. Is your knee bothering you?”

“Something like that. Beard, you were gone for two hours, not one, so I’m expecting two months of training reports.”

Coach Beard was nothing if not fair. As he took his daughter from Splits, he nodded stoically. “Fine. You held up your end.”

“Well said.”

Roy pulled out his girlfriend’s chair and turned for the exit. He’d wanted to sneak out, but the whole team saw them leaving and called out goodbyes. Sam, of course, thanked them for coming. Jamie, less predictably, shouted, “Good night, Kents!”

In his peripheral, the manager could see Splits was stifling a smile and waiting for his reaction. Roy didn’t correct Jamie, only flipped him off without turning around. He ushered his girl out of Ola’s to the Beast, then turned on one of his playlists. He texted his father as she drove them home.

Me: Need to talk. Call tomorrow?

Dad: About fucking time. Your mother’s upset you haven’t told us.

Me: ???

Dad: typing…

After a moment, his father sent a link to a post on The Sun’s social media. It was a photo, sniped through the window of the restaurant, of him in profile holding Queenie and kissing Splits’ hand as she played with the little girl’s hair. They’d been caught, but he fought down the anger rising in his throat. He typed out one last message.

Me: It’s new, but she’s fucking amazing. Do you still have Nan’s stuff?

With that, he closed his texts and pocketed his phone. He reached over for Splits’ hand, resting on the center console while she waited for the light to change, and took it.

It was missing a vital piece of jewelry. He needed to fix that.

Tag list: @preciousbabypeter @harry-bowie-mercury @amieinghigh @onceuponaoneshot @chewymoustachio @my-neurodivergent-world

[universesweetheart]

Baker's Secret (Rin x Reader)

I wanna cuddle up this cute baby and just pepper his face with kisses because he deserves all the love.

Anygays, Happy Pride Month Gay People. "Are you gay? I am" - Chrissy

In which we bake him cookies because I love him and I love baking and I love cookies. I wrote this throughout my zoom class.

Bye now - Mars ♡

Rin sat staring at the screen carefully analyzing the players and their unique skills. He was truly dedicated to soccer and as his girlfriend you 100% supported him but he seriously was going to get it if he didn’t stop. Today was his day off, which meant he was to rest. To rest! Not be focused on men kicking balls around.

You had been couped up in the kitchen decorating cookies and wallowing in your emotions, because you felt like you were going to explode if you kept sitting next to him whilst he ignored you and watched his game.

Finishing up on your cookies you plated them and stared at them with a pout. Cookies were your peace offering after you started an argument with your boyfriend about the same thing he was currently doing.

Approaching him in the living room, you sat down and rested your head against his bicep and offered him a cookie by basically shoving the plate in front of his face.

“I baked” You stated and avoided his gaze by looking at the game and nibbling on your cookie. You could sense his gaze on you. His very intimidating and intense gaze. Damn him!

Taking a cookie from the plate he mumbled a quick ‘Thanks’ before biting into it, “this is good” he states matter-of-factly and sighs in content.

“Yes well obviously I made them” you half joked, you were pretty confident in your baking skills. As a chronic stress baker you had a lot of experience. It was like therapy but less expensive and yummy.

“You actually made these?” He looked at the cookie in his hand and inspected it. “Hm” the smile on his face barely visible.

You placed your hand dramatically over your heart and gasps, “Are you doubting my talents? Offended” giving him a look of betrayal to which he only rolled his eyes.

“Your talent is amazing” He moves closer taking the plate from your hand and placing it down on the table. “Did you use a special recipe?” he is but a mere inch away from your face. Your very very flushed face.

“A witch doesn’t share her spells nor does a baker” You state as your eyes flicker down to his lips and back up to his eyes. “Rin” you called out to him even though he was right in front of you.

“Yes” he stares at you intently. It felt so intimate, and you wanted to cover your face and run away.

“Today was supposed to be your rest day” you state, the fact he wasn’t resting still clearly bothering you and you knew bringing it up again was going to cause an argument, but you couldn’t help it.

“That again?” He sighed tiredly “Yes that again!”

“I’m almost finish and then you can have me for the rest of the day”

“Fine” you rolled your eyes and he chuckled at the action. He inches closer to you until your lips are touching and you close your eyes. It’s an automatic reaction and as you wait, the kisses never came.

“You’re as sweet as the cookies you bake y’know?” he smiles and when you open your eyes to look at him, he kisses you, mumbling “The sweetest”

“Ew cringe” you kiss him back and hold his jaw pulling his face and, ultimately his body, closer to you.

“Am I the one baking cookies for my lover?” he whips back whilst smiling against your lips.

“My method is less cringe though”

“Maybe” He kisses you again and your stomach does a little dance, and you feel like your body will explode from the intense feeling of bliss. How can one person make you feel like this was unknown knowledge.

“Still the sweetest” Rin mumbles against your lips, his pretty teal eyes looking into yours and he swears his heart feels too big for his body.

“I taste sweet too” winking at him and giggling at his flustered face as you watch the light shade of red covers his face.

“Shut up” he wrinkles up his nose and smiles as he looks back towards the screen watching the game. “I’ll be the judge of that” He grabs your hand and yanks you onto his lap.

The action caught you off guard so you just stared at him with wide eyes and your brain tries to catch up and your rapidly beating heart tries to calm down.

“Cat got your tongue, cookie?”

“I hate you” you leaned in and kissed him. That was the furthest thing from the truth. You loved him. You knew it and he knew it and everyone around you knew it. Even your mother, in another country, knew it!