#I want to see him get screen time for his own storylines

[canichangemyblogname]

911 fans do understand that someone doesn’t need to be devout to still be Catholic, right? They don’t have to be actively practicing or a staunch practitioner to still be a believer and, crucially, culturally Catholic, something which will influence their lived reality and worldview.

Sure, Eddie Diaz has been far from the most devout Catholic and he has frequently been portrayed as the least likely member of the 118 to believe in the supernatural. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t believe in God or honor the Saints or practice casually. Nor does it make Catholicism any less influential in his life. He might be the type of guy who’s a “Chreaster” (Christmas + Easter Christian; a.k.a. A “submarine Christian), but that doesn’t mean Catholicism is any less influential on his upbringing, lived reality, or worldview. In fact, it has deeply impacted how he views his place in the world as a man and even how he views other people’s place in the world relative to him as a man.

More on this below:

Cultural Catholicism— specifically Mexican Catholicism— is why Eddie hallucinated his former girlfriend as THEE Madonna. But not just any Virgin Mary, she looked to him like Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe del Tepeyac. The Catholic influence on his upbringing has had a large impact on how he views manhood, womanhood, and the relationship between the two. This Catholic influence, combined with the influences of the patriarchy in Mexican culture, like machismo, has led him to view women in the role of carer instead of partner. It’s why he seems to “use” his girlfriends as glorified babysitters. It’s why it seems he’s been looking for a woman to simply “take the place” as Chris’ “new mom,” instead of find someone he enjoys life with. It’s part of why he has a hard time getting it up or keeping it up when he’s in a loving and respectful relationship with a woman. It’s part of why he could only fuck around with Shannon when she wasn’t filling the role of “mother” for Chris, but once he let her back into Chris’ life, she ceased to be his wife and then became “the mother of my son” (see: the beach scene). He keeps falling into the trap of sorting women into either the Madonna archetype or the Whore archetype, yet people aren’t really talking about WHO he views as the Madonna, HOW he views the Madonna, or fucking WHY.

As @/talktonytome mentioned, it is the cultural influences in his life and the absence of his father that have taught him what “being a man” means. He was expected to assume the role of “provider” from a young age. He was forced to grow up fast, literally parentified by his paterfamilias. His own father told him that he had to assume the role of the “man of the family” as a child, and yet would continue to exert an incredible degree of influence and control over Eddie’s life course and decisions, as Eddie, Shannon, and Chris were completely financially dependent on Eddie’s parents (and dependent on them for child care). This dependency fostered an hostile and toxic dynamic. On top of this, he was literally just a kid when he got his girlfriend—who was also just a kid—pregnant. He believed that he and Shannon *had* to make it work for their kid and that they both *had* to “step-up” and “do it right” by getting married, despite literally being teens. There are reasons why babies should never feel pressured to or be forced to have a baby.

Because of his father, Eddie comes to believe that a “real man” devotes his all to his wife and kid, never abandoning them and always providing for them, unlike his own father. Which is why Eddie has spent every waking moment since moving to LA trying to make up for a life choice that he truly believes meant he abandoned his family: joining, and then reenlisting, in the army. “I ran out first. I ran out on both of them. … Instead of going back home, I reenlisted. I told myself it was to pay the bills—” “But you were running away too.” “Yeah…” It was all overwhelming because he wasn’t ready, so he sought an escape. He felt trapped by his circumstances and his family and saw only one “legitimate” route out: joining the army. He was then forced to grow up more by the force-arm of the (equally authoritarian) masculinist state: the United States Military. And this institution would continue to reinforce aspects of machismo that he’d learned through his father. Showing fear, pain, or grief makes you weak. Turn off your instinct to cry, embrace stoicism, and push through with any weapon you’ve got; it’ll award you accommodation.

This is also why he has spent every day since Shannon died punishing himself. He believes he abandoned her. He believes he failed her. He wasn’t able to devote his all to her. He couldn’t provide and he couldn’t make it work. All of this makes him a failed man in his mind. A failed husband and a failed dad and a poor excuse of a man.

Cultural Catholicism was also part of the reason for the familial and societal pressure to marry that he experienced as a teen after getting his girlfriend pregnant. It does, in fact, contribute to the social pressure to be partnered. And not *just* partnered, married. Through the church. There actually *IS* a reason Eddie’s mind immediately jumped to “marriage” when Tía Pepa set him up on a blind date. There is genuine pressure in Latiné families not just to be partnered, but to get married. Tía Pepa ambushed him with a date because it “breaks [her] heart to see [him] alone” and she’s afraid of him being alone forever. And she told him this immediately after bringing up how Alicia is getting married soon, and how Rafael, Fernando, and Liliana are all having kids. She might say “¿Que marriage? Who said anything about marriage?” (immediately after bringing up marriage, mind you) or “Let me introduce you to—” or “You need to get back out there—” now, but it will be “When are you getting married?” and “When are you having kids?” later. Being alone is stigmatized. Not getting married is stigmatized. Having a kid out of wedlock is stigmatized. And the thing is? Your parents and family don’t even have to be devout practitioners themselves to still contribute to this social pressure. Hell, you don’t have to be a devout practitioner to still believe any of it. Like Eddie hasn’t been the most devout and yet the seal of St. Christopher still holds a great deal of meaning to him.

Eddie doesn’t know who he is outside of being a provider. He’s never had the opportunity to discover himself. He went from being a kid to being a husband and father over the course of nine months. He then quickly went from a military career to being a single father in a new city, finally under his own roof at the age of about 28+. He never went on a long meandering road trip across the US and several countries in a quest to “find himself.” He never went to college where he’d experience new friend groups and ideologies. He has been under the thumb of authority or expectation since he was a teen. He’s never been alone.

So, how does he now find himself when he can no longer be what he’s long defined himself by?

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

.

[punkshort]

Roll Call 2

a Roommates one-shot

Pairing: pornstar!joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel convinces you to watch one of the videos he's starred in and you like it more than you expected.

Warnings: reader and Joel watching porn, smut (18+ MDNI - I don't know what came over me but it's surprisingly soft), language, dirty talk, infidelity, unprotected piv sex, creampie, alcohol consumption

WC: 2.9K

A/N: this was inspired by these asks and is not considered canon, it's just for fun

"It really ain't as bad as you think," Joel teased, watching with glassy eyes as you tossed back a shot with a wince. You swiped the back of your hand across your mouth and shook your head.

"It's porn, Joel. It's pretty black and white."

"See, that's where you're wrong. You must be watchin' some low budget shit if that's your impression," he said over his shoulder as he lead you back to your table through the crowd of people hovering around the bar.

"What're you saying? Your porn is better somehow?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm sayin'," he said with a grin before sliding into the booth. You plopped down across from him and greedily took a sip from your water. "My stuff's produced by people who actually give a shit about quality and storylines."

"Uh huh," you said with a giggle. The two of you were waiting for Tommy to get off work but the bar was busier than expected that particular evening and you had been stuck for almost two hours with nothing to do but drink and kill time.

"You don't believe me? Lemme show you," he said, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. Your eyes widened and you began to sober up.

"N-no, Joel, I believe you."

"C'mon, it's no big deal. We've slept together, for fuckssake, it ain't nothin' you haven't already seen," he said, eyes pinned to his phone as he scrolled on some website that had a suspicious amount of ads and pop ups. His eyes lit up when he found what he was looking for and fished his AirPods out of his other pocket, handing you one and shoving the other in his ear. You held it in your fingers, your mind reeling. You've never seen Joel's porn before, but Maria had, and she told you it was hot at the time but you'd never felt the urge to look it up for yourself.

Joel finally picked up on your hesitation and paused. "If you really don't wanna, it's fine."

You chewed your lower lip as you thought about it. You couldn't deny you were curious and you didn't have to watch the entire thing if it made you uncomfortable, so you took a deep breath and popped the earbud in. "Play it."

He grinned and glanced around. "Come over on this side, don't want anyone walkin' by to see."

You rolled your eyes, finding it laughable that he would even give a shit, but did as he asked and settled in next to him.

"Roll Call 2? Will I be lost if I didn't see Roll Call 1?"

Joel snorted and shook his head. "Shut the hell up."

He pressed play and you watched as the black screen faded to a classroom where Joel sat hunched over behind a desk looking busy as he scribbled on some papers. He wore thick rimmed glasses and a white button down shirt with a navy blue tie. You laughed and poked him in the shoulder.

"Maybe you're right. This is the most professional I've ever seen you dress."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered.

A door squeaked open and he looked up to find a young looking brunette enter the room with a stack of books pressed against her chest.

"Excuse me, Mr. Ryder, do you have a minute?"

"Ryder?!" you cackled, "are you fucking serious?"

Joel grinned but kept his eyes on the phone. "Yeah, alright, that was less than subtle, but the rest is good, keep watchin'."

"Tiffany? What can I help you with?"

You hid your grin behind your fist and kept watching.

"Can I talk to you about this test? I-I really can't fail this class or else I won't graduate."

"Tiffany" set her books down on the corner of his desk and pulled out a paper, putting it down in front of Joel and leaning over. Her own button down shirt only had three buttons fastened, at best, so when she bent forward, her tits practically spilled out of her shirt.

"Mhm, I noticed your grades have been slippin'. Maybe you could do some extra credit to help boost your grade?"

"Really? You'd let me do that?"

Joel's hand gently brushed up against the back of her thigh, his gaze dropping to take in her plaid mini skirt.

"'Course I would, s'long as you do somethin' for me."

"Joel, this is so corny," you said as you were about to pull out the earbud. He stopped you and scooted closer.

"It ain't 'bout bein' corny or not, it's 'bout the production and the set and how the actors are treated. When you have good people 'round you, it comes through on the screen and the performance is better."

You sighed and continued to watch as his hand snuck up the back of her skirt. Tiffany gasped and pressed her hips into the desk then looked down at Joel, who was gazing up at her like she was the only woman in the world.

"I don't know, Mr. Ryder..."

"Why not, darlin'?"

"W-what if someone finds out?"

"No one'll know," he assured her before taking her hand and placing it over his lap. She moaned softly and bit her lip before sinking to her knees and undoing his belt. He groaned and leaned back in his chair, watching her with a pleased smirk.

"Yeah, that's it," he whispered when she took him in her mouth. Suddenly you remembered you were in the middle of a bar watching porn with your ex and you yanked the earbud out.

"Okay, I think I get the idea."

Joel chuckled. "Fine, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable," he said, setting his phone down so he could take a sip from his glass, but the video still played. You couldn't hear the audio anymore but you saw his head tip back and his eyes squeeze shut in pleasure. You wondered what kind of noises he was making, knowing he was the type to be more vocal during sex, an attribute you always appreciated. You tried to look away, focusing your attention on the people around you, but your eyes kept finding his phone. On the screen, Joel pulled Tiffany up by the shoulders and pushed her up against his desk. He slotted himself between her legs and pushed up her skirt before plunging his tongue into her mouth and rubbing slow circles over her clit.

"See somethin' you like?" Joel teased when he caught you looking. You pursed your lips before rolling your eyes and shoving the earbud back in just in time to hear him groan deeply into her mouth when he began to sink his cock inside her. You had to admit, it was nice when the video didn't cut to a godawful closeup of her pussy but instead took advantage of her wide spread legs and chose to capture both their reactions. You swallowed, throat suddenly dry, as you continued to watch the video. Much like Joel in real life, he was attentive and caring, subtly making sure Tiffany was comfortable. He didn't jackhammer her, he didn't remain awkwardly silent, but instead he rolled his hips leisurely while lavishing her with praise until he tugged on her shirt and wrapped his hand around one of her breasts, biting at her nipple. She moaned and grabbed his hair, whispering how big he was and how good it felt and fuck me harder, Mr. Ryder, I can take it.

He pulled out and flipped her around, pushing her hips into the desk before sliding back inside, her pussy and thighs glistening from her arousal.

"Goddamn, you're so tight. Oh, good girl, look at you. Takin' my cock like a champ. Fuck, y'feel so good."

He was slamming his hips into her faster now, so much so that the desk was beginning to move. Tiffany's fingers clutched around the edge of the wood, knuckles white, mouth agape and eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"How much of this is fake?" you asked breathlessly, unable to look away. He shrugged, no longer watching the phone, but instead his eyes were glued to your face. Your lips were parted and your breath was coming a little faster now.

"What'dya mean?"

"Like, is she faking it?" you asked.

"No," he chuckled, casually draping his arm behind you. On the screen, Joel gently pressed a palm against her spine so she laid flat on the desk, then he reached down to pick up one of her legs to open her hips even wider. The noises she was making were so loud at that point, you didn't need to keep the earbud in anymore, so once again you took it out. He could tell how aroused you were, even though you initially tried to hide it. You squirmed in your seat and you rubbed the back of your neck before taking a deep breath. Your eyes met his and he saw you swallow thickly, your gaze flickering from his eyes to his lips over and over again.

"Joel?"

Your voice was low, suggestive, as you leaned into him a little more. The heat between you was growing thick. It was probably made worse by the alcohol coursing through your veins but he didn't care, and neither did you. He nodded and tore his eyes away.

"C'mon," he said.

He grabbed your arm and shoved his phone back in his pocket before leading you through the crowd, his cock straining against his zipper, knowing full well how that night was going to end.

"Where are we going?" you asked when he bypassed the bathrooms in favor of a third closed door.

"Basement. Where they keep the booze."

He swung open the door and flicked on the light before pulling you in after him and ushered you quickly down the stairs. He swiveled his head back and forth until he spotted a corner of the basement that had a small amount of privacy hidden behind boxes of liquor, then turned around and cupped your jaw before crashing his mouth against yours with a deep groan.

"We gotta be fast," you murmured before breaking away and tugging your jeans down.

"Yeah," was all he said, his heart thumping wildly in his chest when you pulled your jeans all the way off and started on your underwear. "Jesus Christ," he added when he realized you weren't messing around. Fast meant fast.

You tested the weight of what looked like a repurposed workbench before hopping up and grabbing the collar of his shirt, yanking him forward just as he undid his belt. You helped him unzip his jeans and slid your hand past his waistband, wrapping your fingers around his cock as you nipped greedily at his throat.

"Fuck, baby, you liked that, huh?" he murmured, grabbing onto your hips, letting you pull his cock out and line him up against your opening without his assistance. He hissed when the tip of his cock prodded at your folds, feeling just how wet you were from watching that video.

You didn't answer. You just spread your legs wider and scooted closer to the edge of the table. Your heels dug into the backs of his thighs, urging him forward. A whimper fell from your lips when he slowly eased inside you, then tipped your head back with a gasp when he pushed all the way in.

"God, that feels good," you moaned, your arms draping lazily around his neck, forehead resting against his chest.

Slowly, he pulled his cock out, leaving just the swollen tip before pausing and pushing back in. You both watched in a daze as he slid in and out, emerging slicker than before with each thrust. Calloused hands ran up and down your thighs. Slowly, leisurely, adoringly.

"Faster," you mumbled, eyes fluttering closed, forehead still pressed against his broad chest.

"I don't like goin' fast with you," he whispered, then wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you even closer as he continued slowly feeding you his cock.

You moaned and dug your nails into his neck when he hit a spot just right, making your thighs shake and your breath stutter.

"L-like the video," you managed to stammer out. You pulled your head away from his chest and hazily looked up at him. "Don't you wanna make this table move like the desk?" you asked him with a teasing smile, but he didn't give you one back. He shook his head and rubbed the pad of his thumb over your lower lip.

"No," he said softly, still fucking you agonizingly slow. His eyes were warm and sweet as he stared down at you, scanning your face. His fingers slid through your hair, cupping the back of your head as he continued to look at you, watching the little flickers of pleasure cross your features every time he hit that one spot he knew made you come undone. "Don't wanna fuck you like them. Wanna take my time 'n really feel you." He rolled his hips, pushing inside you extra deep and you melted against him, giving up and letting him take you the way he needed.

The hand that was lost in your hair tilted your head so he could kiss you. His tongue, slow and lazy, slipped into your mouth, licking and savoring the taste of tequila and the cigarette you bummed from him an hour earlier.

Eventually, you lost yourself in the moment, raking your fingers through his hair and kissing him back just as deeply. You knew it was too intimate, you knew it was dangerous to be like this with him, but it was too late. Who were you kidding? It's been too late for a while now.

You finally had to break the kiss, your lungs burning for air the same way your thighs were burning around his waist. Tipping your head to the side, you slumped against his shoulder, gasping and panting while he continued to torturously fuck you slow in the dirty basement of your favorite bar.

The setting hardly matched the mood, but it didn't seem to matter.

"You gotta know, I don't fuck anyone else like this."

You squeezed your eyes shut.

His fingers dug into your ribs, the others into your scalp, pressing you against him as if you were one.

"Yeah?" Your voice was breathy and high pitched.

"Only you." He pressed his mouth against your hair, his cock splitting you open in the softest way possible. "Just you."

"Joel," you whined, one hand dropping to grab the thin material of his tshirt, fingers getting twisted as you tugged and pulled at him. You said his name again, a whisper that time. Being so close, you could feel his heart beating loud and fast in his chest. It felt like it matched your own.

"Yeah, say my name," he muttered, hips moving a little faster now. "You gonna come f'me, baby?"

You couldn't respond. You were too close and everything was too intense. Instead, you nodded and squeezed your eyes shut tighter, fighting back the two tears that sprung up out of nowhere.

When you came, you pulled harshly on his hair and gasped, warmth flooding your limbs as your orgasm washed over you. He was murmuring something but you couldn't hear him over the ringing in your ears and then finally, your muscles relaxed and you sighed.

"Fuck, Joel."

"I know," he grunted through clenched teeth. "Shit, you're gonna make me come. Feels too good, I can't... oh, god."

He made a move to pull out but your legs tensed around him once more, keeping him still. His hips slowed.

"What're you-"

"I want you to come inside me," you mumbled drowsily from his chest. You felt more than heard the low growl he gave you in response.

"Baby-"

Tugging him by the back of the neck, you pulled him down into a searing kiss, shutting him up. He cupped your jaw with one hand while the other remained wrapped around your waist, still holding you against him. It only took him a few more seconds before he spilled inside you, his moans getting lost against your lips.

Long after you had both recovered, your mouths were still latched together, tongues slowly dancing, neither of you wanting the moment to end, but it was you who finally pulled away.

"We should go before we get caught."

He hummed and pressed his forehead against yours.

"So what if we get caught?"

You practically stopped breathing at the double meaning behind his words, your brain unable to formulate a response. He must have sensed it because he continued.

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"Jail?" you finally offered, leaning back and giving him a smirk, purposely ignoring the real meaning behind his question. What would happen if someone found out about your affair?

He gave you a small smile and sighed. "You make a good point." He pulled out with a hiss, his gaze darkening for a moment when he saw your pussy leaking with him. "Christ," he whispered before backing away and fixing his clothes while you did the same.

"You ready?" he asked once you got your clothes back on and looked relatively presentable.

"Yeah," you replied, but took a step and stumbled. Joel quickly reached out to steady you, his thumbs rubbing affectionately over your arms as he did.

"Don't worry, I got you."

You looked up at him and smiled. "I know."

[cinhomi]

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: boyfriend's best friend Hwang Hyunjin x fem reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you should've left your boyfriend sooner considering the man of your dreams, his best friend, has always been there for you... but the faithful event you were hoping for finally occurs and you find yourself at his house, in his arms, in his bed.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst?, smut, fluff, aquaintances to lovers

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cheating (but not really, you'll see), reader is in a toxic relationship, explicit descriptions of sexual acts, unprotected sex (it's sexy but use protection babes), fingering, pretty vanilla.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.4K

I have a thing for sex while it rains, it seems... and like this I post something after months. I'll work this storyline in the future too for Hyunjin, but for now, enjoy!

It's strange how sometimes we believe to be in the right place to later find out we were living in a lie, a product of our fervid imagination, just to not accept reality and the fact that life, or even our past self, played a good and structured not-so-funny prank on us.

These lies we tell ourselves most of the time are a response to our awful experiences, but they can become harmful in numerous types of ways, and we should learn that instead of letting us be tempted by sweet beliefs. When we find ourselves facing reality it's hard to accept it, it's ugly, but ugly things are part of life and we should try and accept them nonetheless, they may reveal themselves as lessons or the best things that happened to us, with various meanings to that.

What pisses people off the most is the "waste of time". And that's how you feel too, like the rest of humankind, angry because you wasted time. You would very gladly prefer to be in the denial stage of the whole thing but it's so evident that you can't even pretend to be doubtful, to question what you saw, to give him a chance to explain himself.

The car is still cold even if you already reached the destination that popped in your mind right after what happened, salty tears adorning your eyes as they cross your freezing cheeks, collecting under your chin, falling on your scarf. The same damn scarf he gifted you after your first two weeks of dating, the one you didn't even like at all, the color you hated, a dull pattern over it… the urge to pull down the car window and throw it outside in the middle of the parking lot soon becomes reality. Wind starts to rise a bit, and you see it dance on the wet concrete for a while before a car passes over it and plasters it on the ground.

Ironic, right? You feel a bit bad after the impulsive gesture, but he didn't hesitate to make you feel the same, so, "screw it".

You shouldn't even be here. You should go to your own best friend, sitting on her way too low couch with its broken springs and cry your eyes out as she yells at you her usual "I told you so!" and "You're an idiot, I knew it from the start!" even if what you really need is comfort, and not to be scolded like a twelve years old while she offers you chocolates and tissues like in some chiché romcom.

That's why Hyunjin's place is just few meters and five floors away from you now. You're actually hesitant to get out the car but when you see your boyfriend's text appear on your screen, asking where are you, it's suddenly not so difficult to take your things and rush to take the elevator, and when you send Hyunjin a message telling him you're in front of his apartment he's quick to open the door. He doesn't say a thing, he doesn't even dare to, he already knows.

He delicately takes your hand in his and guides you inside with a saddened smile, his eyes soft as they watch you attentively trying to search for your tears. God, he wants to kiss them all away, he never wants to see you like this ever again, but he thinks it's probably not the last time… is it? Either way, he'll do anything he can to make the redness of your eyes disappear.

"Go sit on the couch petal, relax for me, hm?" he says in a hushed tone to not provoke your impending outburst. When you're finally hugged by his cushions you feel his presence behind you, his hands going on your shoulders to free you from your heavy coat and bag that he places on his forearm. When he reaches for your scarf his fingers are suddenly met with the cold skin of your neck and a startled "oh!" escapes from him because of the unexpected touch, making you giggle. If only you knew how his heart starts beating faster whenever he hears you like this…

"Where is your scarf? You always wear it, were you in such a rush to leave it at your place?" he's now lowered near your face, breath tickling your cheek as he adjusts your jumper on your shoulders ー the stained one you only wear at home, you didn't even change, how embarrassing. He touches you like frail porcelain and little bumps start to rise on your skin where traces of his touch linger, you wish his fingerprints could bruise your skin.

"I threw it in the parking lot…" you explain, looking at him trying to not make your lips touch while doing so.

A laugh that comes from his chest slowly builds up as he lifts himself and reluctantly distances from your face to go place your belongings on the hanger at the entrance. If only he knew how your heart twists in excitement whenever you hear him like this…

Hyunjin doesn't come back to you immediately. He always makes sure you have enough time to think by yourself first, to gather your words, to decide if you want to cry or yell, and then he sits beside you and goes along with anything you've come up with. It's always been like this until today, every time you came to his place after something happened between you and his best friend, every time he had to gather your broken pieces and try to put you together again. He doesn't know he's always done that beautifully though, making a breathtaking mosaic out of you, making you so splendid and wonderful anyone could say he's your creator.

You hear a distant rustling in the kitchen, the clicking of the bottles in the fridge as he closes it with a thud, two glasses colliding it seems, and his slippers sliding on the floor, approaching you.

"You're lucky petal, I have your favorite today." he proceeds to place the glasses on the way too elegant coffee table and pour the drink with all the calmness in the world. Time with Hyunjin stops. You think that every second spent with him is never wasted.

"I like this clip, it compliments your hair color." he says suddenly, snapping you out of your trance. How could he notice such a thing?

"Really? It's the first time I wear it…" you still mumble a bit, too shaken to let your voice take its natural timbre. Hyunjin laughs again, handing you the drink and carefully sitting so as to not spill everything on his expensive carpet. His body is completely facing yours, knee against knee.

"It's not true!" Hyunjin takes a sip and giggles at your confused expression.

"You had it the first time we met, too. It was perfect with your dress and necklace. Do you really not remember? You looked beautiful…"

What Hyunjin refers to is a random saturday evening of autumn. What day it was, what you were wearing, what you did before meeting in front of the restaurant, you can't remember… but what you can vividly recall is the stinging sensation of the first cold breeze of the season on your cheeks, how crunchy multicolored leaves swirled on the sidewalk, and the city lights beginning to be turned on a bit earlier than usual. Now that you think about it, it was around this period. You remember what perfume you wore, paying attention to what type of impression you wanted to give to your boyfriend's group of friends that you were about to meet for the first time, and you even remember what mascara you decided to use.

But what remained tattooed on your bones the most are the first ten seconds of Hwang Hyunjin taking possess of your vision, because you felt incredibly sick.

If you close your eyes and concentrate you can almost feel the same emotions, when your stomach swirled like it was a washing machine, your head light, and your legs almost giving in making you trip while standing still.

You felt incredibly guilty, disgusted with yourself, disappointed, a monster. Why the hell your first thought was "he's my soulmate" and not something along the lines of "nice, my boyfriend's best friend" you still don't know. Call it destiny, call it sixth sense, you immediately tried to suppress it all.

It didn't help that Hyunjin's slender fingers delicately took your hand to kiss your knuckles with his oh, oh so beautiful lips like an ambassador of chivalry itself, his siren eyes looking up at you sweetly but confidently, making you blush like crazy ー you later blamed your flustered expression to the restaurant's excessive heating.

On top of that, your boyfriend decided to sit at your side leaving Hyunjin in front of you, so you had his ridiculously handsome face in sight for the whole night as you ate your stupid california rolls and tried to elegantly slurp your noodles ー for as much as something like that is even possible.

You talked, a lot, even if you felt your face heat up at every strangely seductive giggling sound he made together with the little bumps his shoes would land on your naked ankles, toying with your heels from time to time. You had so much in common, and after that you only felt complete when he was near you.

Your boyfriend did catch on with the new dynamic though, so unfortunately considering how jealous and a bit possessive he is, you and Hyunjin didn't see each other as often as you expected after that, but you really didn't grasp that it was because he wanted you apart at first, just a series of unfortunate coincidences.

Hyunjin parted from you with a tight hug, lingering his hands on the smaller of your back, adjusting your shawl over your coat and twirling a strand of your hair behind your ear, the moment never fully leaving your memory. He was… perfect, really just perfect, and you couldn't help but feel nauseous when you got in the car with your boyfriend to let him accompany you to your apartment, the thought of another man being more suited for you making you feel like you were cheating. You only felt relieved when you talked about all his friends during the ride and he revealed that Hyunjin is "a bit of a player, y'know, he flirts with everyone and he has those french manners, but he's always been like this." so you thought that maybe your feelings would slowly fade… but they always, always rested down the bottom of your heart, even if you pushed them away forcefully, almost violently.

No one knows you two meet up from time to time now, because one time you found yourself crying in a corner on his shouler. No one knows that you always seem happy and carefree only because you talk with Hyunjin, because he comforts you when you need it without complaining. Not that it needs to be a secret, but you both are well aware that it may result suspicious to meet with your boyfriend's best friend late at night, best friend's girlfriend from his side.

And the fact that you two always seem to attract each other like magnets, so close, with instant connection, it doesn't let thoughts stray further from the idea of something tender existing between the two of you, everyone can see it.

It's just that it's prohibited. Or, to say it better, you were too caught in your lies to even contemplate the idea of leaving your boyfriend and Hyunjin simply didn't want to betray his "friend". But when you started to message him asking for advice, when you later had long calls together, when you crumbled in his arms crying almost weekly, he wasn't so sure about having a best friend anymore.

"I… you really think I was beautiful?"

Your question comes from the heart. The mixture of the memories of that night and his proximity makes heat rise on your face, shyness visible from the automatic action of your teeth catching your bottom lip and your gaze straying from his face to linger on the glass in your hands. The bubbles of the drink fizzle on the surface and for a moment or two that's all that can be heard in the room.

"You're always beautiful, y/n. I told you many times." he says cautiously, putting down everything to wrap his hands around your wrist.

"I don't know how he doesn't make you feel like you are, I don't know why he treats you like this but, petal, you're an incredible woman," he lowers his head to look into your eyes as he tries to explain himself further, "smart and strong. He's an asshole and you should stop doing this to yourself."

Does he know? Does he know what your boyfriend did? Probably not. Hyunjin would never hurt you, he would've immediately told you. You want to make sure though, in case everything that involves Hyunjin is a lie too.

"Why are you his friend then? Why do you keep coming to our house and have dinner as we fake not knowing each other like we really do? Why do you keep on hanging out with him? If you really think he's terribleー"

"Because I want to protect you."

His reply is fast, cutting you off. His stare bores into your eyes and drinks in all of your feelings, like he can see them displayed in front of him. A few seconds of silence fill the room and you suddenly gulp down your drink until the last drop, sprinting up from your seat and escaping his intoxicating presence that's almost engulfing you.

Hyunjin doesn't say a thing. He waits, he can sense that something big happened this time and fuck if he's going to kill his "friend" after this. You were never this silent, you usually would storm inside and throw yourself on him… for as much as he dislikes seeing you like this, he's grateful for your presence, for the feel of your body against his, the trust you put into him. He doesn't do all this just to be a rebound, he already knows part of him is yours and vice versa, so he's simply waiting. Everyone considers him being a romantic man, but really, he just believes in destiny. When Hyunjin first saw you every cell in his body started to boil, goosebumps rising down his nape, the world destroyed itself and was reborn before him, it's impossible that it didn't matter at all.. That was the day he realized he didn't know what "love" meant before.

He watches your silhouette get near the big windows that face the road, little droplets of water striking them. The sound of the rain reaches your ears only when you notice the detail, and soon you see how much water is actually coming down from the sky, your scarf already soaked and dirty laying alone between various cars. You take a deep breath, thinking about your next words, a way to tell Hyunjin what happened without sounding pathetic as you concentrate on the mesmerizing foliage outside, reds and oranges and yellows decorating the city landscape.

"He accidentally left his phone at home since he rushed to his office, I don't exactly know why…" you started to explain, hands fidgeting with your rings, heavy breath obstructing your throat, "and I heard a notification so I went to check right?"

Hyunjin slowly gets up and approaches you, his warmth radiating behind you now, hands resting on your shoulders and caressing them as he listens and slowly gets closer and closer until he's hugging you.

"So, petal? What was it about? Did you find porn?" he tries to guess, but when you shake your head as a 'no' a cold chill goes through his back. Oh, oh no…

"It… it was a message, a very sexual one, coming from a saved contact, I don't even remember the name." you pout, looking down almost in shame even if you're not the responsible one. Maybe it's the shame of having a cheater as a partner.

"I opened the chat Hyunie. They've been sexting for months and from what I could grasp they even met few times…" you can feel tears start to form on your waterline again, a deep ache inside your chest rises when you finally say it out loud. One thing was to acknowledge it, another was to tell everything to the man you've secretly been in love with for a year already. What were you doing exactly all this time?

"Am I really not good enough for anyone, Hyunie? She's… she's so different from me… Am I really a disaster as he says? Why would he do that to me? I've always been a good girlfriend, I even ignored all those mean words and his being immature and the shitty sex!! I put aside my needs to make him happy thinking I was the problem!" you turn around to face him and you're met with his serious expression.

You expected to find him at least slightly surprised by your sudden show of emotions, but he's calm, he radiates calmness. Hyunjin sighs and looks in the distance behind you for a second, blinking ever so slowly, his touch traveling up to cup your cheeks and wipe your angry tears with his thumbs.

That's the final stroke, the gesture that makes you sob and bury your face in his chest to hide.

You aren't broken yet, it's almost as if Hyunjin is physically holding you together. He's trying to smooth the new sharp edges that formed around your heart to not let it be isolated, while hugging you he's working hard to let it be still approachable to receive and give love, he's trying with all he has to prevent a horrible plague that's trying to approach you.

You hold his shirt between your hands, tightly, you're afraid you'll ruin it but you can't stop, you need to ground yourself and try to be strong, but it's so hard to not let him sway you around the room, lullying you as he hushes you and lets his fingers comb your messy hair.

"Leave him."

You freeze.

Did he really say that? Hyunjin never said it out loud. He did make you understand his vision about the situation, he did suggest it with hidden phrases, but so explicitly…

"It's time to let him go, don't you think?" he presses his lips on your forehead, continuing to mumble his real feelings, "You don't need someone who mistreats you petal. You deserve better." he closes them in a kiss that leaves a mark on your soul, making you gasp.

"Hyunjin?" it takes a lot of strength to look up at him. His eyes seem less gentle, brows forming a frown that's not his usual playful one, a bit scary even. The mole under his eye is contracted and his mouth is curved in disgust, just enough for you to understand he's furious.

"Why don’t we put an end to this farce? He didn't even deserve you in the first place, you don't love him, stop doing this to yourself y/n. There's someone who's the right one, for sure…" his tone is desperate, but you want him to say it clearly. You can't help it, if it's to be sure or to satisfy a need you've been having for a while you don't know, but you want him to say it loud and clear.

You know that if he says it now everything will change and it'll be scary as fuck, but if that's a premise for a better life… maybe it's not as scary as you think, it's Hyunjin after all, the man who's looking at you in adoration.

"And what man could possibly want me at this point?" your voice is shaky and uncertain as you tease the confession out of him.

Hyunjin looks away and smiles, a bit frustrated. He wipes another tear away from your cheek and then places his hands on your waist.

"Me?" he fakes the question, smiling softly; "Be mine y/n."

Breath gets caught in your throat as he finally says it. It's wrong that you waited for it, it's wrong that your first instinct is to say yes without thinking about it.

"Hyunjin Iー"

"Ooh don't say you don't reciprocate, petal. I know you too well." he interrupts you, his hold a little tighter. Hyunjin tilts his head to the side, few strands of black raven hair following the motion and slightly covering his eyes. He's beautiful now, even more than in any other moment you've ever been with him. Hyunjin is the most beautiful man in the world and he wants you.

Your phone starts ringing. It's a strange moment to realize your ringtone is kind of cringe, cutting the tension weirdly… but you can't laugh, not right now. Both you and Hyunjin know who it is.

He's right. You should put an end to all this and start to think for yourself, about what you really want, need. This is not wrong. To love yourself isn't wrong, and Hyunjin makes you feel like the person you want to be.

"Do you want to pick up?" Hyunjin takes his hand under your chin again and directs it up to make your eyes meet his, gaze frenetic as he tries to not look at your tempting lips. Everything will depend on what you decide now. And you think quickly, under pressure, and you don't know if it's a good idea or not but you shake your head and hold him tighter, hiding again.

"Y/n, please look at me…"

The phone eventually stops ringing and silence overwhelms you when you can hear his fast heartbeat right against your ear. And it's because of you, it's for you, your heart starts to adapt to his and you almost feel pain in your chest. It's too much, too much…

Ah, that's it.

You get on your tiptoes to pull him down by his collar and make your lips crash together.

Hyunjin drags you towards him as if you kissed thousands of times before, immediately, tongue slipping into your mouth as you grant him access, making it run along yours. You hold his shoulders trying to search for your lost balance and he's quick to walk you towards his bedroom, he isn't even slightly hesitant.

The desperate sighs you two let out add into the sound of your first kiss; it's a relief, something you didn't imagine to need so badly. Hyunjin pushes you further into the room until your legs meet the mattress and you fall on it guided by him, a knee starting to press beside you as he cradles on the bed on top of you. He can't stop kissing you.

Hyunjin clumsily reaches the lamp on the nightstand to turn it on and oh, oh if this is even better than any fantasy he's ever had… seeing you panting with that flustered expression, your legs already crossing beneath him, jumper half lifted up, your hair all disheveled since you quickly reached for your clip and threw it somewhere in the room. You just look breathtaking in his eyes, even more than any other moment he's ever thought about it. He has to let you know. You didn't think he'd turn on the light but maybe you can put aside your shyness for once if it means having this type of gaze reserved to you.

Your hands try to reach his shirt to pull him out of his trance and he resumes his kissing, hands flying on your sides as they slowly, painfully slowly slide down until he's hooking your pants. Hyunjin lowers down to press chaste kisses on the little part of your cleavage that is exposed, going down to your stomach, then your belly, until he darts his tongue out to lick a stripe just above your groin, leaving a longer kiss there while he proceeds to undress you.

The way you feel embarrassed when you remember you're wearing plain, white cotton panties… but it's honestly sending him haywire. The fact that you didn't expect to end up like this, a confirmation that you didn't plan anything to happen, it's making Hyunjin even harder in his confines. You're so wet your juices dampened the fabric, making it almost transparent, and he sighs at the faint outline of your cunt now puffy and pulsing… and he still has to touch you properly.

Hyunjin is honestly the same. You can't see it but waves of excitement run over him so violently he physically trembles and his legs give in from time to time.

“I'm gonna fuck you so good you won't dare to come back to him…” it's whisperes, almost as if he's accidentally thinking out loud but it makes you clench. Hyunjin's fingers start to tease you on top of the fabric, seeing the wet patch getting larger and larger. You can't believe this part of him exists… how many things do you still have to learn about him?

Hyunjin keeps on touching you there but this time he starts flicking, snapping his fingers where you're most sensitive, the tingles that start to make you jolt are strong and they make your breath sharp.

“H-Hyunjin…” your stuttering voice slightly higher as you call for him, he rolls his eyes back.

“Hyunjin please…” you can't help but pant, wrapping your hand around his forearm to try and make him slow down. Is this what those stupid magazines talked about? That sex feels better when you do it with someone you love? So fucking true.

Hyunjin feels on cloud nine. He starts paying attention on your neck tenderly but still with open-mouthed kisses as his fingers subtly slide your panties to the side. “Yeah petal, let me hear you, let me…” his words get lost as he concentrates. Ah, it's uncomfy for him. Hyunjin lifts your legs and carelessly slides your underwear off with a hiss, his eyes closing like they've been blinded by the vision of the Virgin Mary for a second, then maniacally staring at your bare cunt, digits caressing your wet folds mere seconds before plunging into your entrance.

You can only let out a choked moan and push your head back onto his soft cushions, that smells just like him. You're completely surrounded by his presence when his scent is all around you, his fingers move smoothly to work you open and his mouth is now latched around your nipple, his forehead pushing your jumper further up. When the hell did he…

“Is it good?” his voice displaying signs of fatigue, urgency and need buried deep inside him. You know his fingers are long but God if they can reach otherworldly places. It's not the in-and-out motion but the brushing of your g-spot that makes your legs close around his sides and poke his ribcage with your knees; he doesn't mind, your tits keep him occupied enough to make him mindlessly keep going. Hyunjin decides that prefers your chest covered in love marks over any art piece he's ever seen these past years, so nothing can disturb his work in progress. Maybe the work itself.

“‘S good Hyunie, Hyun…” it's difficult to breathe, it's difficult to think straight as the bumps of his fingers touch your insides so precisely, as if you've always done this and he already knew your body by memory.

“Did his fingers ever make you feel like this? Hm?”

The question makes you sigh along with a moan. You shake your head.

“Did he ever kiss you like I do?” and Hyunjin kisses you again as the movement of his fingers fastens. His teeth catch your bottom lip and his tongue slides against yours before he sucks it, drool making it shine where you two meet; passionate and euphoric, it feels like experimenting fireworks. You follow his lips when he detaches, but he just smiles and starts pressing his thumb on your bare clit. “Tell me, petal.”

“N-no…”

Hyunjin feels it, the way you start clenching around him, hard. He almost can't move anymore. So he whispers, just above the squelching of his palm spreading your wetness.

“Wanna go to Heaven with me, y/n?”

How, how can you say no? You need Hyunjin, even more than oxygen right now, he already has you completely. Your hands hurry on the button somehow miraculously keeping his pants together, and you reach his zip and pull the fly, that struggles to slide down ー he's too full.

“Wanna try how a real man makes you feel?”

You nod almost too eagerly and he chuckles within a whiffle. Hyunjin deprives you of his fingers despite your whines of protest and spreads your juices all over his face, tongue swirling on his hand. A low groan comes out from him, his touch moving to your hips where he squeezes, plush skin bending under his grip. It's all in contrast with the look in his eyes as he stares at your face, your reactions, as if you were the most adorable thing he's ever seen.

You're so distracted that when you feel something poke your inner thigh you gasp, and can only stare… his cock springs free from his confines altogether, long, slim and leaking, underside vein pulsating under the pads of his fingers as he pumps himself few times, precum dripping on your groin. Hyunjin's eyebrows are knitted together as he grinds between your legs, his still sticky hand moving your lower body closer so that he lifts you back up to wrap his arms around you, hugging you ever so gently.

His full lips kiss your cleavage and he curses under his breath because of his choice to not take all your clothes off but there's not much time anymore. You close your fists on his shirt, the lines of the fabric changing their shape under your hold while you wait for him, subtly writhing impatiently.

“Hyun please hurry…” not once in your life you've been this desperate for a man to fuck you. It's not because of the wait, not because you're horny, it's just that it's Hyunjin.

“Say it.” his eyes are darker, but they shine with the yellow-ish light in the room. He clears your forehead by adjusting your hair away.

You know what he's doing and it's nothing different from what you did before, in the living room, so you're more than willing to satisfy his request. You try to regain a bit of composure and steady your breath before speaking up, his head twitching together with every movement of yours.

"I want you, Hyunjin. I want you, please.”

A big bright smile spreads on his face as his head drops low, in disbelief. Hyunjin didn't imagine those words would have such a strong effect on him but here he is, blushing and trying to hold back a giggle. When he looks back at you he's serious again, eyes piercing into yours.

“I'm going in, hm? I wanna hear you scream my name through it all. Is that clear petal?”

What you'd give to hear him call you petal until the end of time, he says it and it's like dripping honey, he says it and you melt. The warm pool of pleasure in your belly tightens again as you say a shaky “yes”. You're his delicate, fragile petal.

His tip rests just before your entrance for a second while he takes a deep breath, breaching you gently. It's not a big stretch but his veins are already making your eyelids flutter and your lips part. Inch by inch, Hyunjin makes sure you feel his cock going deep, concern showing on your features as he doesn't come to an halt. He does, eventually, but the time he took to do it seemed eternal. “Oh my- Hyunie-”

“Bet my dick feels better than his,” he smirks between the kisses he's leaving under your jawline, “I bet mine's longer too.”

His comments only add fuel to the fire. He's bigger, he's better, the curve of his cock lands exactly on the spot that makes you black out. As you remember that you're technically still in a relationship your phone rings again. It's a distant sound, it's in another room, covered by yours and Hyunjin's sighs and moans, but he hears it too. Hyunjin stops every movement, hips against yours as he's fully inside you. He lifts himself up just enough to check on you. You look at him too.

You don't exchange any word, there's no need to, because you both arch your lips upwards and meet mid-air for another kiss, tender but messy as he moves backwards to get a starting point to his thrusts. The ringtone eventually dies making room to the faint dripping of the rain outside.

You feel warm, squeezing his cock just right and he's sure he will never let you go, never let you change your mind.

“Pussy ‘s so tight petal, was made for me, ‘m sure,” and he starts moving with consistency, picking up a pleasant rhythm, “you're so fucking perfect.”

His necklace is cold against your skin as he keeps on holding you flush against him, as well as your rings leaving icy lines on his back when your hands slip under his shirt and hold onto his shoulder blades. Hyunjin throbs inside you, drawing loud moans out of you that someone will for sure complain about. He thrusts harder, faster, every second that passes and you can only call for his name, yours being whispered by him against your skin making you shiver.

“Waited so long, so fucking long-” a guttural sound interrupting him, “since that time at the club, wanted to make you mine.” he mumbles, words hardly making sense but you decipher them anyway and when you realize what he's talking about the confused memories of it flood your mind. You, swaying your hips in front of him, grinding your ass on his crotch following the music; Hyunjin's hands right under your breasts guiding you together with him, his breath fanning on your neck, drying your tears completely as those three drinks made your head light enough to not care about any problem you complained about minutes before. It was just you and Hyunjin, all this would've happened sooner if a series of coincidences didn't happen.

“You would've let me take you in the bathroom, isn't that right?” Hyunjin asks, not losing concentration even for a second. “I wanted to bring you here, and fuck the sadness away. Every time, y/n, I wanted to tell you to forget him and be with me.”

You feel him stretch his arm between your bodies, and you feel your swollen bud stimulated again, you both whine against each other.

“‘M with you now Hyunie, want only you, ‘m yours babe.”

He's so fast now, the snapping of his hips moving you up and down the mattress… your words affect him on a visceral level.

“I choose you, I'll leave him for you-”

“Fuck!” he's close, so, so close and your walls tightening more and more and more are making him go crazy. Little beads of sweat decorate his forehead, a caramel-like smell coming from him as the crown of his head dampens and some hair stick to his forehead.

His tip keeps abusing your sweet spot, the kiss you share is feverish, your nails dig into his skin and his hold bruises your soft one. Both your bellies contract and before you can process it you're coming, white pois pattern creating over your blinding vision. You say his name out loud, dragging it together with your last moan as the hardest orgasm ever washes over you. Hyunjin pulls out just in time, copious white ropes of cum landing on your stomach like dripping art. Hyunjin loses track of space and time for a few moments as he comes down from his high, then takes you close to him when he lays next to you. Your heavy breath fills every other sound in your ears as you get comfortable hiding in his muscular chest. Your body spasms, all energy left your body already and your chest rises and falls frantically.

Hyunjin caresses your cheek and kisses your hair. It's peaceful. You just had sex with your boyfriend's best friend and it feels peaceful. It starts to feel a bit cold so he grabs the soft sheets near him and covers both of you.

“When will you tell him, petal?”

The question floats in the air for a while. You start playing with his necklace, making it dance between your fingers. He starts to worry a bit, when you don't answer him, but he decides to be patient, like always.

“After we eat something, I'll send him a text.” you seem resolute, and he's convinced. “Can I stay here tonight?”

He's a bit taken aback, his eyes narrowing in surprise: “Wasn't it obvious? You'll stay here from now on anyway.” and he says it so naturally, you think he's thought about this moment a lot… it makes you smile.

Hyunjin rolls to the side briefly, taking some tissues to wipe yours and his stomach since his sticky cum was still there, and kisses the tip of your nose adjusting your jumper back to its original place before sitting on the edge of the bed and taking his phone, after finally freeing himself of his shirt. His back is slender yet defined, long, his spine making a beautiful curve. Your eyes travel from his nape to his glutes, the ones of a dancer. There's a doubt still in the back of your mind, you need to make it disappear.

“Are you… sad, that you can't be friends with him anymore?”

He doesn't even bother looking at you to answer, he keeps scrolling on the delivery app searching for something you may want to eat, the words he's about to say seeming obvious to him.

“We haven't been friends for a while already. I understood he's not the guy I met years ago, he changed, and I don't like to be around him anymore. Don't worry petal, it's not entirely because of you, I already wanted to part from him but you came into our lives so I endured it some more to stay with you… and it was worth it.” one of his hands shifts position behind him and taps the covers to signal for you to hold it. Your fingers interlace and he looks at you over his shoulder, slowly turning around, his body twisting slightly as he leans back again and kisses you sweetly yet still with some need.

Your breath is now steady, you're relaxed and it feels like Heaven, just like he promised.

"Pizza?"

You giggle and he follows.

“I love you y/n. I love you.”

[mrs-hwangh]

a boxers heart.

chapter one

Kim Geonwoo x Fem!Reader

Summary: one day was enough to change your lifes forever. Geonwoo is your best friend, you help his mother with her coffee shop and became part of a legendary trio with Geonwoo and Woojin. However.. nothing will ever be the same again after the Smile Company entered your lifes.

wc: 2.1k

an: the story will follow the dramas events. Adjustments were made to include our character into the storyline.. other then that.. watch the two characters fall in love with each other ✨️

Enjoy

______________________________________________

He strikes again! Kim Geon-woo landed a fatal blow on Hong Woo-jins side! Sending him directly on the floor once more!

Will he stand up again just like he did earlier? It definetly does not look like this.

And three! two! one!

We have our winner! Kim Geon-woo won the tournament with an outstanding performance!

This year was truly something else. The pandemic hitting us out from the blue, causing for endless troubles.. These young men however proved us that the struggles we faced, still wanting to organize this grand show off, all of our hard work for making it work.. everything payed off!

We are proud to announce this years winner and to honor every other contestant who took part.

And let's not forget Hong Woo-jin! This finale was special because both of these young men went over their limits to decide the title of this years winner!

Now, have fun and enjoy your time!

Ladies and Gentleman, we'll hopefully meet again on the next years tournament!

The commentators praised the two while the cameraman focused on sharing close ups of the said fighters.

"He won! My Geonwoo won!"

His mothers melodic voice ringed through her small coffee shop, the small Samsung screen showing the broadcast.

"He's the best!"

You joined her cheering, engulfing her into a hug since she awaited you with open arms.

"I'm so proud of him!!"

His mother was the biggest sweetheart anyone could imagine. She truly loved her son and did everything in her power to ensure him a safer future.

You helped her once when she was cleaning up her store on her own.

Other then Geonwoo sometimes, she has no employees helping her to run the shop.. so you decided to offer your help.

It wasn't something you felt obliged to do, you just did it because you enjoyed helping others in general.

Ever since then, you decided to head over her shop to help her with everything, you didn't take money since you were payed well from another job you did sometimes.

With art.

Commissions payed you great.. this was more then enough for you to work for her for free.

"Do you want to head over? I can take over the shift until you return"

You offered but she was quick to decline.

"Thank you but I will stay here, what about you going to see him? I'm sure that it'd make him happy"

She offered you a warm smile.

... should I?

"Are you sure?"

His mother quikly nodded and pointed at the door.

"Enjoy his win together, make this day even more special as it already is!"

You were pushed out of the coffee shop with a gentle push.

She smiled at you as you waved her goodbye.

Now... where would he go after such a big win..

...

Time passed and you decided to just call him, finding him would be impossible otherwise.

'Hey y/n!'

"Congrats woo! You did it!!!"

'Thank you!'

You could hear his chuckle from the other side of the line, but there was another voice

'Hey who is that?'

The second voice was the one of a male, he had company..

"Am I interrupting right now...?"

'No, why? Did something happen?'

'Geonwoo who is this? Is this a girl??'

'Damnit Woojin!'

He whisper yelled that but you had to admit that it was funny.

"No, no don't worry everything is fine.. I just thought of meeting up with you to celebrate your win.. but I don't want to eh.."

'aaaa now I get why you asked me if you were interrupting earlier- No no, do not worry over this, I actually want to introduce you to someone! I'll send you our location, we'd be very happy to celebrate it together, with you!'

You could literally visually imagine his smile as he spoke. Your heart fluttered whenever he spoke..  whenever he smiled.. whenever he talked with you

He may be a boxer, but oh was he pure hearted. If politeness was a person, it'd be him. You need help? He's there. You need a shoulder to lean on? He'll stay by your side until the worst is over.

I'd love to meet him! I'll hurry over!!!

'Whoa whoa! That smil-'

Geonwoo hung up and you made your way to the location he had sent you.

They were eating. Perfect. You'd kill for a good meal now.

-

"Who was this?? Ohhh man you looked so happy!"

Geonwoo brought his hand to his forehead, resting it while he fought the urge of gifting him a second experience of their fight earlier today.

"A good friend of mine"

But Woojin didn't buy that.. not that easily.

"Yeah yeah.. let's believe that"

He smirked at him while taking the claw to turn the meat around.

Geonwoo was quick to snap it out of his hand.

"Not yet"

Woojin was left confused.

"... what? Hey I'm older, show me some respect"

"But they are not ready"

"I'm hungry."

"They need another minute. At least."

The hungry man wanted to say something but the doors bell interrupted his thoughts.

A girl entered the scene. She looked over the desks until her eyes met his.

"It's her.. from the call?"

Geonwoo nodded. He waved her over as he stood up to greet her and she sprinted towards him.

"Look who showed u-"

"Congrats to our champion!!!"

You jumped at him and hugged him real tight. He was taken aback but swung his arms around you immediately. He chuckled at your action and tightened his grip on you, spinning you around while thanking you. He put you on the ground again after the final spin and that was when you spotted the other man.

Wasn't he his opponent..?

"Let me introduce you to Woojin. Woojin, this is y/n and y/n this is Hong Woojin. We fought earlier at the arena"

You greeted him and complimented him on his fighting skills aswell.

"It's a pleasure to meet you y/n, and thank you"

Geonwoo and you sat down and looked at the meat.

"I think it's ready, you could turn it around no?"

Geonwoo took the claw again and turned the meat, leaving Woojin speechless.

"You disobeyed me when I asked you to do it!"

"It wasn't ready earlier"

"It was!"

"No"

"But-"

"It still needed some time, you see there is a me-"

"That's not fair!"

"It is"

"Okay, cut them now!"

"No"

"Why?!"

"They're not ready yet"

"They are!"

You sat there trying not to laugh, it was funny enough that that Woojin guy tried to make Geonwoo serve that meat while it was clearly not ready.

The trio sat there in silence until you spoke up.

"I think you can cut it now"

"Oh yes it's perfect"

Geonwoo took the scissor and cut the pieces.

Woojin.. well he let his head fall dramatically on the desk, whining that his marine comrad ignored him.

"The world has got to be kidding me"

".. is honesty really that bad?"

Woojin shot his head up and looked at Geonwoos eyes.

"You know what. Let's move on."

You and Geonwoo erupted into a heartfilled laughter and Woojin joined you soon enough.

"Let's raise a toast to the best boxers!!"

"Thank you!"

Said the two in unison as everyone prepared their bites to enjoy their meal after the great day.

"How did you actually meet? Was it after the tournament or during it?"

You were curious, Geonwoo never mentioned Woojin before after all.

"He waited at the hall asking each of his victims to go and eat with him."

Woojin said, side eyeing your friend.

"I thought that he was fooling me at first but he was serious about that" "Ahh yes that sounds like him"

You looked over and lightly hit Geonwoos shoulder.

"I'm glad you asked him, he seems like a fun guy"

Woojin felt a sense of pride as your words left your mouth, grinning widely.

"How did you actually meet Geonwoo?

"Well.. I came across his mother's coffee shop and I help her out ever since then. He happened to enter the shop while I was refilling something. Which was kinda funny because he thought that I was stealing something and oh did he get mad"

"He? Mad??"

Woojin may have only met him today but that.. that guy was more then honest and polite throughout the whole day.. him and mad didn't feel right in the same sentence.

"Oh yes."

You stood up, took a stable stance and mimicked Geonwoos face.

"Who the hell are you?"

Geonwoos eyes widened. Your voice was lower, you did something with your face that did not look like him at all.

"It wasn't that ba-"

"Answer now or I'll call the police"

Woojin nearly choked on his glass of water when you tried to copy his voice.

"Okay but be honest! How would you've reacted if a stranger was roaming freely in your mothers shop?!"

Geonwoo stood up for his defense, attacking your sides while he tickled the hell out of you.

"Wait wait w- sto-op!"

Your laughter filled the place as you tried to free yourself of his attack.

"No."

"Geonwoo!"

He continued his merciless attack until you were both gasping for air. He because he couldn't get over his laughter and you because of the tickling.

"I am feeling like a third wheeler right now"

Woojin put a fake pout and you literally became breathless.

"Woo please-"

"Okay, you shall be forgiven"

"Thank you for your mercy, your majesty"

This is how the whole afternoon went by, you three bonding with each other, exchanging stories and experiences while the restaurants owner regretted their life's choices.

What nobody of you all knew was the sudden visitor.. a man dressed in a suit.. visiting Geonwoos mothers coffee shop to offer her a deal.

It seemed too good to be good, a startup company offering to help the ones in need?

"Thank you so much sir"

"She signed the paper and gave it to the man."

"I have to thank you miss"

.

"Woojin.. are these original?"

Geonwoo pointed at Woojins shoes, your gaze followed his finger as you spotted the said shoe.

But.. it does look fake.. no?

"Yes. 1.2 Million won"

Geonwoos eyes widened at this.

"What?! That's the rent of our coffee shop!"

Woojin chuckled and shook his head. Your friend looked at you in disbelief.

"Did you hear that??"

You nodded but waited for Woojin to say something..

"Bro.. these are fake"

Thank god.

Geonwoo was relieved upon hearing that.

"It's obvious if you look at the cap, it's shinier. The true ones don't.."

Their voices blended with your surroundings as you took in the scene.

Late night walks weren't rare but this one.. this was somehow special.

The two continued their talk until they realized that you were walking behind them.

"Hey y/n!"

They took a few steps back and swung their arms around you, holding you in their middle.

"You're so small.. we nearly lost you"

Woojin said and you jokingly punched him.

"I'm sorry Mt. Everest"

The three of you continued the chatter as you walked through the streets.

Woojin went to his home at some point leaving you with Geonwoo alone, on your way to the shop.

"Today was quite a handful huh"

You joked, but you had a point.

He won the match, he found a new friend, your trio got created and the restaurant owner now knows about the marines divisions.

"Haha yes.. thank you"

He turned to you, locking your gazes.

"You coming over after the match. It meant alot to me"

"Well.. you're my best friend after all, I'll always be there to support you"

Geonwoo was speechless but his smile was priceless.

"Now let us surprise your mother, I bet she's thrilled to congratulate you on your big day champ"

He nodded and you two arrived at the shop where his mother was. "My Geonwoo! You did it!!"

She sprinted to him and hugged him, really proud of her son. Her eyes then shifted to yours and a warms smile appeared on her face.

"Did you celebrate the win?"

"Yes!! The other fighter.. Hong Woojin was also with us. It was real fun!!"

"I'm glad! Now let's go home everybody"

You three closed the shop and made you way to the apartments.

A black car drove past you as you walked further into the street.

Geonwoo and you looked back at it but the plate was unknown to the both of you.

You turned around again, joining the topic his mother was talking about.

But little did you know that this day would change your life's forever.

[wildestdreamsblog]

The Story of Us: Unedited

Pairing: Mahwa Character!Min Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You wake up in the body of the second female lead in a manhwa, determined to rewrite your fate. No longer willing to be trapped in unrequited love for the elusive main lead, Min Yoongi, you set out to change the ending of the story. But leaving him behind isn’t as simple as you thought. As the lines between fiction and reality blur, the narrative begins to shift in unexpected ways—Yoongi, who was once only devoted to the main female lead, starts to see you in a new light. Can you escape the cycle of heartbreak, or will you find yourself entangled in a love story you never asked for?

or in which Yoongi found out you aren't from that world and refuses to let you leave.

A/N: This is an unedited very very very raw draft! But I wanted to share this with you before I forget the ideas and before my flight today <33 let me know what you think! ALSO I WILL EDIT THIS WHEN I GET BACK NEXT WEEK AND I WILL POST IT IN TUMBLR. okay bye ily

It was your second week in Paris when curiosity finally got the better of you. Her phone—your phone now—sat untouched on the marble nightstand of your hotel suite. You’d avoided it so far, reasoning that it felt like rifling through a stranger’s diary. But tonight, as the soft glow of the Eiffel Tower illuminated the room, you gave in.

Plugging it in, the device vibrated to life, and a flood of notifications lit up the screen. Your jaw dropped slightly as you skimmed through the endless stream of missed calls and messages. Most of them were from Yoongi.

“Of course,” you muttered under your breath, scrolling through the list. There were texts, voicemails, and even some emails from him, all timestamped over the last two weeks.

His messages started casual enough, asking you where you were and if you were still avoiding him. He even stopped by the mansion only to find out that you weren’t there, let alone in the country. Not one in your mansion could tell him where you were despite his endless threats. As days passed by, however, his tone shifted to frustration.

I’m not kidding anymore. If I don’t hear from you, I’m coming to find you.

I am hiring a team to find you, princess.

His final message was dated today.

I do hope you remember that it is my birthday today. We always celebrate it together. We’re not gonna stop now just because you’re hiding from me.

You stared at the phone for a moment longer, the screen dark now but somehow still demanding your attention. Should you respond? What would you even say?

The phone vibrated in your hand, the screen lighting up with his name. Your stomach did a little flip, but you shook your head firmly. No. You weren’t going to answer. It was better this way—for him, for you, for the storyline. Yoongi belonged with the female lead, and the longer you stayed out of their orbit, the better.

Instead, you grabbed your jacket, ready to explore the city some more. Paris was too beautiful to waste time fretting over a fictional man’s messages. Let Yoongi wait.

But just as you opened your hotel room, there he was with his signature stoic face, his dark brow raised. He pointedly looked at your phone, his name on the screen. He had his phone on his ear, while you had yours in your hand. You were literally caught red-handed ignoring his calls.

He ended the call with a deliberate tap and tucked his phone into his pocket, his gaze never leaving yours.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, shocked at his sudden appearance. He was supposed to be with her. The story said that he was supposed to be with her, celebrating with her, saving her from any other accidents or situations she found herself in.

Yoongi tilted his head slightly, his gaze narrowing. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” His tone was calm, but the edge was unmistakable. He stepped inside as though he owned the place. He didn’t ask for permission, didn’t wait for an invitation. He was just… there, filling the room with his presence like he always did. “And Paris, of all places? You’re more predictable than you think, princess.”

“I-I mean, I didn’t think you’d notice,” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper, already regretting how ridiculous it sounded.

“What? How could I not? You literally disappeared on the face of the earth. You think I wouldn’t notice when you disappeared? When you’re not there?”

The intensity in his gaze left you momentarily stunned, your thoughts scrambling for coherence. “Y-you’re not supposed to be here…” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. Your disbelief bled into your words, your mind struggling to reconcile his presence with what you knew—or thought you knew. “The story says you’re supposed to be with her. This isn’t—this isn’t how it goes.”

“What story?”

You blinked owlishly, realizing what you’d said. “Huh? Nothing!” you exclaimed a little too quickly, waving your hands as if to physically push the moment away. “Anyway! Happy birthday!” you added, your voice unnaturally bright, hoping to distract him.

His squint deepened, a mix of curiosity and frustration flickering in his eyes. He clearly didn’t buy your deflection, but he let it slide—for now. Without a word, he crossed the room to the small bar cart in the corner, casually pouring himself a glass of whisky.

The tension in the air was thick as he swirled the amber liquid in the glass, his movements deliberate. He raised the glass to his lips, his gaze never leaving yours. After taking a slow sip, he finally spoke, his voice low, “Glad you remember my birthday, princess.”

Okay, fine. You were at loss. How were you supposed to know what you should say? This was not in the manhwa! Yoongi was basically going off-script!

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Instead, you turned your gaze to the door, silently willing him to leave. But Yoongi didn’t move. If anything, he seemed more determined, his presence as unyielding as ever.

“Fine,” he said after a long moment, his voice quieter now, almost resigned. “If you won’t come back, then I’ll stay. Paris is nice this time of year, isn’t it?”

Full story (unedited) in KoFi

[clawsdevour]

caught on cam

wc: 1.6k content warning: post-time skip, established relationship, kuroo x reader, smut, fingering, recorded sex, not proofread

note: this is like somewhat a continued story after the homemade film imagine!!! ALSO THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 300 FOLLOWERS IT MEANS A LOT TO ME THAT YOU GUYS REALLY LIKE MY WRITING, ESP WHEN YGS REQUEST YOUR OWN STORYLINES AND PLOTS FOR ME TO WRITE FOR YOU!!! TT_TT <333

𓍯ぃ ˑ  ִ

At the front door, you’re stumbling behind Kuroo as he’s trying to hastily pick the house keys from the bundle on his carabiner. The jingles from his keys rattled as he unlocked the door, turning the wrong way in the grooves of the handle while he’s letting out a few grunts of frustration till he was able to open the door.

“Door’s open..!” Kuroo exclaims, looking back at you with his hand out to put a grip on the side of your waist. You're slyly smiling as you walk in ahead of him, feeling a warm presence linger down below, slowly moving down towards your hip, and beyond lower. You both paused for a moment, closing the door with a discrete bang and a click as he locked the top and bottom knob.

“Did you forget why we came home early?” You’re staring into Kuroo’s hypnotizing hazel eyes with this seductive look plastered on your face as he’s gazing back at yours, sluggishly shuffling off his jacket.

“Now.. What made you think I forgot?” Kuroo’s smirking cunningly as he steps closer to you, eventually cornering you against the hallway wall. Inches away from his face, you planted a quick kiss on his cheek to toy with him while letting out a giggle. 

“You’re such a tease.” His hot breath tickles your ear when he whispers, lowering his head toward your collarbone keeping eye contact with yours. You felt a warm embrace press in between your legs. His fingers snuck up on you and started feeling up your panties as he slowly kissed you going from head down to your chest, leaving his subtle marks in only places he knows. 

You’re letting out sweet whimpers into his ears while his sloppy wet kisses attack you, pressed against the wall you wrap your arms around him to pull him even closer. His arms reach for your ass, signifying he wants to carry you somewhere else. Hopping into his arms, his grip on your ass was tight. It was like he had his hands feeling up mounds of raw dough that spilled out of his hands as he strolled into the living room. 

Slowly, he placed you down on your back on the couch laying your head down last. He’s standing on his knees hovering above you, Kuroo’s watching you while he’s tugging down at his tie to loosen his collar and dress shirt. Watching him start to undress, you pull up your shirt leaving him to see your exposed nipples that were now perky due to the chilly air while you see his length grow in size pressed against his restraining pants.

“You’re so cute, you know that? Ha.. I need a photo, or maybe a video.. to remember how fucking adorable you look right now.” Kuroo murmurs under his breath as he reaches for his back pocket to whip out his phone. Opening the camera app, he switched to the video mode and started recording with your permission. 

Playing with your tits with one hand, and the other with his phone capturing his soft fondles and flicks. Kuroo’s teasing your nipples as you let out faint whimpers feeling all the sensitive sensations created by his hand. His finger traces down your stomach, sending tingles that sparked down making you slightly arch your back against the plush couch. His hand reaches down towards the inside of your legs, tracing your inner thighs to soothe them. Looking at the screen to get the right angle as he flips your skirt up to reveal your slightly damp panties. His fingers press onto your clit, rubbing it in slow circles as you feel the friction in between the fabric and his fingers against your stimulated organ.

“Wet already, hmm? Do you want my fingers baby? Tell me or I won’t give you them..” switching his attention from the screen to your flushed pink face, waiting for you to utter out your response.

“Fingers.. I want your fingers in me, Kuroo” He’s snickering at your words and how needy you looked when you said them. His hand reaches for the sides of your underwear to pull them down, tugging on both sides to reveal your bare cunt to the camera. Getting your panties off he flings it off to the side before going back to your glistening juices. You’re covering your face in embarrassment when he gets his phone closer to your pussy, parting open your flaps to show the camera your full intimate area that leaked your sticky essences. His finger coldly brushes against your slit, collecting your slick as he hums in satisfaction.

“Are you excited that you’re being filmed, hmm? You’re pussy’s calling for me y’know?” Snickering, he’s circling your clit over and over sending shockwaves up your spine.

“So fucking beautiful down here, you should stop covering your face. M’trying to film all of you.”

Slipping a long slender finger into you, you let out a moan and listen to his words, essentially taking your hands off your face to stare back at the lense and your boyfriend. Kuroo’s watching his phone as if watching ordinary porn, he’s getting painfully hard. It was almost unbearable and he felt  like he could cum in his pants at just the sight. Adding in another finger, he’s also speeding up the pace while curling his fingers into your sweet spot. Your back arches even further on the couch, he’s recording every second, every angle, every sound, and every time he’s taking out and putting back in his fingers while watching you shake in pleasure. When you had your orgasm it was like you felt electricity race throughout your body as your vision blurred.

“Shit.. was it that good? Do you even need my dick inside you?” Taking his fingers out to reveal the slick all over his fingers, he pans the scene down to your breathless face that’s trying to regain its sanity. The footage shows his fingers being put into your mouth to get cleaned off before he unbelts his tight pants that held his increasing erection in check.

 Back to your senses with a more steady breathing pace, you’re spreading your legs wider for him as he closes in between the gap. He was able to get his pants unbuttoned and his belt off. Taking out his cock, the screen shows his dick bounce out to reveal his great size to which he stroked up and down making you salivate at the sight.

“Kuroo.. put it in,” holding your legs back for him, hips staring back at the ceiling with your messy pussy ready to plummeted by his cock. He’s lining himself up at your entrance, sliding in smoothly as he lets out a groan of relief while watching your stomach protrude with his size in you. 

“You feel like heaven.. feel s’good baby,” pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead before resuming filming your little sex tape. Gradually his hips clicked with you as he put his thumb on top of your clit to stimulate you further. While he’s going at it, you’re shifting your gaze from Kuroo and to the camera as your tits move in sync with each of his poundings. Each squelch made you wetter the more he thrusted, the phone in front of you made you feel like a real big slut for Kuroo as you moaned out his name multiple times, capturing the whole moment.

You’re squirming so bad on the couch from pleasure, trying to close your legs but always being denied by his hand that prohibited you. His tip kept bullying his way into your sweet spot so many times, you were just about to have your second climax. Zooming in on your wet pussy, to tits, to your lewd face slightly covered with your messy hair. Kuroo knows you’re eventually about to cum and immediately pulls out, leaving you in pants with whines in between.

“W-What’d you do that for.. Kuroo??” You’re out of breath and dazed in confusion. 

“Don’t worry about it, just making you feel extra good..” you mumble out a tired m’kay. Kuroo’s placing his phone down for a second, his hands rolling your limbless body onto your front. Your tits pressing down into the couch as he puts a pillow under your abdomen to help you stay stable so he can carry on with fucking you, this time with your ass up towards the ceiling. 

Sliding back into your warmth, except he’s able to reach deeper in this position, you can’t help but groan when his big cock makes his return back into you. Phone back in his hand while he videos your big ass taking his powerful and hard thrusts, making you moan like crazy while you try to grip onto the couch. Your ass against his pelvis jiggles with each time he plunges back into your gummy walls that don’t want to let go. 

“All mine right here.. haha. So beautiful. All mine..” Kuroo’s pussy drunk deep around your sticky walls, fondling the flesh of your ass when he adds a stinging strike on your cheek that turns a light red. You flinch in pleasure, tightening your grip on his cock that leaked of your essence.

“F-Fuck..! Think I’m gonna cum, can I do it inside baby?” Planting kisses on your back up to your shoulder. You’re lazily nodding while looking back at him in exhaustion, mouth open with whimpers spewing out his name. Kuroo’s warm seed shoots into your messed up pussy, pausing a bit before he takes his throbbing cock out for the camera to see your dripping cunt that held his genetic DNA.

He’s slowly exiting out of your warmth, immediately feeling a bit hollow as you try to hold it in you. He’s focusing the camera onto your pussy as his white fluids start to trickle out and slowly land onto your inner thighs while you start to give up on keeping it all in.

“T’so fucking hot.. I can't believe I got it all on cam this time. Maybe later we could watch and recreate it.. what do you think?”

masterlist here

[carolmunson]

i'm the best thing at this party | e.m.

up and coming rockstar!eddie munson x girlfriend!reader (is that a picture of slash? sure, but we can pretend it isn't.) aka the first time carol ever wrote a fic based off a taylor song. but in my defense, it was a chase petra cover of 'you're losing me' that inspired it. this is not connected to my rockstar!eddie x actress!reader storyline, this is it's own oneshot in a separate story.

in the early 90s, when your boyfriend's band starts to make it in the big leagues, you start to come to terms with the fact that he might not want or need a small town player anymore. eighteen plus. established relationship. angst. hurt/no comfort-ish. open ending.

"and i'm fading, thinkin': 'do something, babe. say somethin'. lose somethin' babe, risk something. choose somethin' babe. i got nothin' to believe, unless you're choosing me.'"

The Hideout was hot with all the bodies packed in like sardines; stark contrast to the icy chill of winter outside. Glowing on the screen was The Tonight Show, everyone’s eyes glued to it while Corroded Coffin made their first national televised debut. 

No one’s totally sure how their manager Richie was able to finesse this slot – but they went to New York to film earlier in the week and didn’t ask any questions. With Richie, it's better to not ask questions and just let it happen. Eddie came home with an adrenaline rush so intense that he barely slept for three days. No matter how much you tried to keep him in bed and tire him out. 

And sure, it was hard to have him be gone while you drove out to Indy and took a friend to see the new graffiti art exhibit that came in from LA when it was supposed to be with him. It was hard to have him miss a lot of things. His return from the city only started another big talk about it, one you've been having every few months the last two years. Even so, you couldn’t help but be proud of him, proud of all of them. Remembering that just four years ago they were barely getting fifteen people in here to see them play when you first started dating. 

The crowd erupts when the camera comes off of the band on the stage and back to Leno at his desk, the boys in real life all standing on the bar. You look up at Ed and smile, he finally did it, he’s doing it. The contracts are signed, the people saw him, he’s gonna make it. He’s making it. 

You duck out of the way when they start to spray champagne over everyone by the bar, “Not my hair, babe!” 

The two  bartenders pour shots of Jameson and flutes of Prosecco while the show cuts to commercial and it’s not long before you feel the sticky chest of your boyfriend up against your shoulder, “It was good? I did good?” 

“Ed you’re…you’re fuckin’ famous,” you grin, “You’re fuckin’ famous!”

You follow while he leads you through the crowd, settled in near the back where the stage doors lead to the dressing room and out into the parking lot. He looks over his shoulder twice before he sneaks you both behind the amps; heart pounding when he leans you up against the painted cinder block walls, noses mashing when he takes your lips in his. It’s feverish, desperate when he pulls at your hips, one arm wrapped around your mid back to keep you steady up against him.

“Lemme – mmm – lemme take you to the green room,” he breathes between kisses, moving your hand toward the bulge in his jeans, “C’mon I wan–” 

“The interview’s up!” Jeff calls from on top of the bar. 

“Where’s Ed? ED? Come on! The interview’s up!” Gareth calls, the crowd erupting in a cheer of ‘Edd-ie, Edd-ie, Edd-ie!’

“Come on, come on!” you squeal, pulling away to pull him toward the front of the bar again, “You said they were gonna cut it!”  

“It’s stupid, babe,” he assures, “It’s so dumb.” 

“Ed, you’re being interviewed by Leno, this isn’t stupid,” you urge, “This is like – this is it.” 

“It’s literally like two minutes, it’s not special,” he doesn’t move when you pull him along with you, a frown pulling on your lips. 

“Eddie,” your voice raises an octave, tugging on his hand – he lets go. 

“I’m gonna take a leak,” he shrugs, heading toward the green room while you watch him disappear behind the door. Your brows furrow slightly, but it doesn’t stop you from making your way back to the edge of the bar where everyone’s eyes are glued to the medium sized screen in the corner. 

The crowd cheers again while the band is re-introduced, Eddie and Jeff sitting on the chairs with Gareth and Grant standing behind them. You admire the way your boyfriend looks post performance, nearly glittering with sweat but glowing with pride – with accomplishment. You look over your shoulder to see if he’s back from the bathroom yet, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

“So we got a group of some – what looks like – nice, respectable hard core guys,” Jay smiles. 

“I don’t know about respectable,” Eddie scrunches his nose back at the host. 

“I don’t know about nice, either,” Jeff jokes. You marvel at how relaxed and natural they all look on camera, cracking wise and getting laughs from the audience. They talk about the album briefly, and the front cover which has all four boys in caskets with a red kiss print on their cheeks. 

“So, the debut is self titled, Corroded Coffin – but it looks like you all got a coffin kiss here,” he points out, “These from anyone special? You got the girls going crazy.” The audience erupts in cheers and screams, a bra finding its way flung into the sound stage. You giggle when Gareth and Grant  hold it up, making them both blush pink on the screen. 

“Well I got a girl at home, so, I don’t hear any screamin’ if it’s not her cheering for me,” Jeff’s smile is bright when the camera focuses on him and he winks into the lens. Sasha, Jeff’s girlfriend, screeches in the crowd of The Hideout. 

“You didn’t tell me you were gonna do that!” she beams, and your heart thunders while you watch them kiss on the bar. The promise ring that he gave her back in ‘88 shines on her ring finger, awaiting something much more flashy when that first big rockstar payday hits.

“It’s definitely a change of pace,” Grant nods on the screen, “Definitely wasn’t getting a lot of girls in high school.” 

“It’s wild,” Gare laughs. 

“And what about you, Munson,” Jay asks, “Frontman like you’s gotta be beating them off with a stick.” 

The camera focuses on him, his pink lips and smart grin, a flash of teeth before he starts talking. He’s so handsome, you feel your fingers and toes start to tingle when he opens his mouth.You weren’t expecting to hear your name on national television, or be alluded to. You’d never really prepared yourself for something like this. To be declared to thousands, maybe millions, as a rockstar girlfriend.

You swallow the nervous spit pooling in your mouth, heart pattering while you run through all of the scenarios of the outcome of being ‘announced’ in your head.  

“I don’t kiss and tell, Jay,” he smirks.

Oh.

Your hearing clouds and your vision blurs – unsure of what you just heard. If maybe you imagined it, but that proves to be untrue when you feel a few sets of eyes on you. A moment of silent confusion lulls on the crowd at the bar.

You swallow the lump in your throat, fingers and toes cold now while the blood rushes to your heart and head, to your lungs which suddenly forgot how to work. Through teary eyes you look around, drowned out by the cheers of the bar when Jay announces when the album will release. You sniffle, trying to hold it back – but there he is in the back of the crowd now, eyes rounded; pleading, looking straight at you. 

The tears spill over and you try to catch your breath as you make your way through the bodies on your way to the front door. You hear Gareth call after you, hearing him stumble over the barstools while he hops off the counter. Another ragged intake of breath shakes through you while you get closer to the sticker covered door, pushing through the first set and then the other into the dark blue night. Your breath puffs white in front of you, coat abandoned somewhere back inside The Hideout while you walk across the street to your car. 

You fumble with the keys, blubbering while you get the engine started and the radio blares Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together part way through the song. In the rear view you see him hustle out of the bar to search for you, catching the start of your car and getting to the passenger window before you can pull away. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” he strains, his fingers hanging on the edge of the half open glass, “I promise it’s not what you think. Richie asked me to answer like that, it wasn’t on purpose.” 

You press slightly on the gas, making the car lurch forward and inch.

“Wait! Please don’t – don’t just go,” he begs, voice breaking with desperation, “We can talk about it.” 

You look at him through wet eyes, the street lights haloing behind his head to feign his innocence. He can talk himself out of anything.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you rasp out quietly, “We’ve done enough talking.” 

“I can…please don’t go,” he says again, “Not with you crying like this, c’mon. Don’t leave.” 

“I’m gonna go home, Ed,” you sniffle, “J-just go h-have fun inside. S’too cold to be out here.” 

“You don’t have your coat,” he states, “Come back in and get it. We can talk in the back, please.” 

“I don’t need my coat,” you garble out, “I’m going h-home.” 

“Well I’ll – I’ll bring it to you tomorrow morning,” he nods needily, “Okay? Is that okay?” 

You let out a shaky breath, fogging again against your windshield, “F-fine.” 

Eddie cracks a weak but winning smile, “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” 

“I love you,” he adds. It tastes like ash in your mouth. You pull away before you feel compelled to say it back. 

Eddie show’s up in the morning with coffee and your coat, a small carton of donut holes for you both to share. He’s all smiles, seeing you in the kitchenette cleaning out the coffee pot that you now no longer have to fill. 

“Morning, baby,” he grins, “I brought your coat.” 

“Thanks,” you mutter, keeping your eyes on the droplets of water that race down the side of the glass pout, “You can just hang it on the hook.” 

“Are you…are you still upset with me?” his voice is airy, surprised while he makes his way behind you. Calloused hands reach around to pull your back in his chest, nose nuzzling against your cheek. Your stomach rolls, bile inching up the base of your throat. 

“Enough, Ed,” you sigh, pulling out of his hold. 

“Sweetheart, c’mon,” he huffs, “I told you already. I didn’t want to say that. But you know how Richie is! He just wants what’s best for the band and so do I! Don’t you? I thought you’d understand.” 

“Jeff had no problem talking about Sasha,” you do your best to measure your tone, too early to start yelling. 

“Jeff has the wholesome thing going for him; plus – you know his family isn’t for him being considered like, a rogue or whatever. He’s already in a metal band,” Eddie explains, like this is a totally normal conversation, “Richie even said this morning that he was getting a lot of calls.” “Okay,” you nod, sitting down at the small table in your kitchen where your coffee sits. 

“And like, a lot of people wanna do interviews with us and get hype up for the release,” he half smiles, sitting down across from you, “I told you, it was…it was a good thing. They were saying y’know like, mysterious bad boy front man is a good angle.” 

“Great.” 

“It doesn’t…babe, it doesn’t mean we can’t be together,” he leans forward, hand reaching out to touch yours. His shoulders sulk when you put them both under the table. 

“Ed I –” you let out a breath, eyes tracing a pattern on the waxed canvas tablecloth, “I can’t even look at you right now. And you wanna tell me we can still be together?” 

“What like it’s…some consolation prize?” you choke out, “You made a fool out of me. The looks I got?”   

“I know, I know, but it was for the band. You know how I feel abo—“ 

“How you feel about me?” you hold back a bitter laugh. 

“Ed, the last year or so we have kept having the same conversation over and over again. You are so, so caught up in Corroded and making it and getting there and trust me I am so proud of you. If there is anyone on the planet who is more proud than me maybe it’s Wayne, but – this is just like, this is kind of it. We have nowhere to go from here.” 

He’s quiet for a moment, his brown eyes rounding and brows tilting slightly when he realizes what you’re really saying, “What do you mean no where to go? Are you not listening? I said we can still be together, just like befo–” 

“Before? Before when?” you get up and pace back to the kitchen where he can still see you, “Before when you would cancel dates to go practice? When you missed my awards night for work  because you wanted to fill in guitar for a gig in Ohio? When you didn’t come to my poetry reading with the guys like you said you would and instead got plastered at The Hideout after rehearsal?” 

“Well I apologized for all that, that was all in the past couple years and I – look, I said I was sorry and you accepted that,” his voice raises slightly, he stands up to full height with defense evident in his stance, “You can’t just throw it back in my face.” 

“When you were gone weeks at a time for mini tours, for opening for bands on the East Coast – god, all the work I took off to make sure I was there for you? When you canceled our three year anniversary dinner, without my knowledge, because you got a call for discounted studio time on the same night,” you manage to get out, the tears inching toward the edge of your lash line, “And I sat there at the table in my new dress and everyone looked at me the same way they looked at me last night. Poor girl. Must’ve got stood up. What an idiot.” 

“Yeah well that studio time is why we were on fuckin’ LENO, babe!” he pleads, “Don’t you get that? It’s for us!” 

“It’s for you!” you break, the shrill frustration coming out with your voice, “It’s always just been for you. It’s always about Eddie and the guys. I have done nothing but make sacrifice after sacrifice, excuse after excuse to play the part of perfect, understanding, cool, laidback girlfriend but like fuck Ed, when is it gonna be about me, huh?” He stands there, unsure, cheeks sucking in between his teeth.

“And what’s on the docket for you on Friday? Have any plans?” you ask, your voice softening while you cross your arms over your chest. You lean the small of your back against the counter while you watch him. He clears his throat, hands finding their way into the back pockets of his jeans. 

“Um, we have some meetings in the morning in Indy. And then um, we’re gonna take a late flight out to LA. The label’s excited – they’re really excited,” he breathes out, eyes finding the floor and your sock covered feet.

“Oh, that’s interesting,” you nod, voice still measured, “Since we’ve had the tickets for my niece’s winter school concert on the fridge for over a month. I guess I’ll have to tell her that her favorite bonus teacher couldn’t make it.” 

“Fuck,” Eddie’s eyes shut, pulling his lips in to run his tongue across them while he thinks of what to say next. Your heart thrums in your chest, throat getting tighter and tighter while you hold back a cry – this was just another thing to add to the list.

“I can make it up to her, I promise,” his raspy nicotine voice becoming garbled with desperation, “I can make this all up to you, too. I swear. I wish you had just told me about all of this.” 

“I have, Ed. We are always having the same conversation. I’m tired of having it. I’m so tired of this. Make it up to me? How do you make up for it?” 

“I…” he chokes on his words, ringed fingers running over his face and reaching to pull his hair back off his neck. 

“Go ahead,” you encourage angrily, “What’re you gonna do? Say something. Fucking, do something, Ed!” 

“Baby, I don’t know what to…” he swallows, tears pooling in shiny wells over his eyes, “What do you want me to do? I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.” 

You take a breath through your nose and let it out through your mouth, taking the three steps it takes to get to him. Your hands fall from being crossed, reaching up to cup each of his cheeks. Your thumbs run over the apples and drag softly over the stubble left over from the night before. 

His eyes shut while he keens into your touch, his rough hands covering yours. Calloused fingertips coasting delicately over your knuckles. You know what you have to do, even if his touch makes you want to do the opposite. 

“Go be famous,” you shrug, smiling weakly, “Go be the big rockstar I know you are. Like how you wanted. Go play The Garden and live in LA.” 

Your hands slide down his face, tears falling after them, “Go do all that, and just, um – just leave me alone. Please.” 

“But I don’t–” he starts, pulling in a sharp breath while a cry leaks out of him, “I don’t wanna lose you.” 

“Oh, Ed,” you shake your head while the ache spills over into your own leveled sob, “I’m already lost.” 

“No, please,” he begs, trying to catch your hands as they make it back to your sides, “Please, baby, I’ll fix it. I pro-promise.” 

“There’s nothing left to fix,” you whisper in finality, “You should go.” 

“I don’t want to,” Eddie’s soft pink lips quiver while he speaks, “Please. Please. I can fix it, the next interview, anything, it’ll be all you. I swear I can…I can…” 

When your face doesn’t change he knows there’s no way to pull you from your stance, voice trailing off in defeat. You watch as he rips open your storm door and goes to his van, his chest and back shaking with sobs that make the hardware on his jacket cry with him.

A year passes and you are not surprised when you find out that Corroded Coffin has made the cover of Rolling Stone. Wayne bought every copy from the gas station at the end of the road and put them in every mailbox early that morning. You don’t think there’s been a day in the last year that Wayne wasn’t seen beaming ear to ear; his boy finally getting everything he wanted. 

Life had gotten easier now that you weren’t regularly expecting disappointment. You went on few dates here and there, just trying to navigate your life after spending four years sharing it with someone else. Some nights were colder than others, but it was better than the frigidness you felt that night at the bar.

You did your best to avoid the tabloids – Eddie was certainly doing just fine navigating his life as a bachelor; some new model or actress on his arm every other month it seemed. Hardrock’s Resident Playboy. It stung the first time you saw it, and a little less each time after – heart breaker to the core; you would know, you were the blueprint.

In the same cold that matched the night at The Hideout a year prior; you sat on your steps wrapped in a robe – morning cigarette between your fingers. 

“Morning,” Wayne’s voice is gravelly when it sounds over you, still soaked with left over sleep. 

“Mornin’ Wayne,” you smile, taking a sip of the steaming cup of coffee in your other hand. 

“Wanted to uh, to let you know that the guys are playin’ a show in the city tonight. I could uh – I could get you a ticket if y–” 

“That’s sweet of you Wayne,” you smile tightly, “But I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“He might like to see you,” he shrugs. He hadn’t quite gotten over the break up the way you and Eddie had, convinced that this was the real deal – that he was watching young love flourish into something bigger. 

“He’s seeing someone, Wayne,” you take a drag of your cigarette, “Why would he want to see his ex-girlfriend who still lives in Hawkins? He’s got some actress girl now, right?” 

Wayne shrugs again, scratching at the back of his neck, “I never know what that boy’s got goin’ on in California outside of shows and gettin’ into trouble. Maybe he is seeing some girl but, y’know, seein’ an old friend could be good for him.” 

“He’s still got plenty of friends here he can see,” you let the smoke out to drift off in the gentle wind rustling through the line of trailers and mobile homes, “I don’t think I need to be one of them.” 

“Well, they’re gonna have a small after party at The Hideout tomorrow,” he offers, “Even if you just wanna do somethin’ fun. I never see you goin’ out anymore.” 

You laugh, “You work at night, what do you mean you don’t see me goin’ out anymore? I go out plenty.” 

His eyes linger on you, enough to encourage a thoughtful sigh – you might as well humor him. 

“I’ll think about it, okay?” you toss your half finished cigarette onto the browned grass before looking back up at him.

“Okay,” he smiles, eyes sparkling as he makes his way back inside. 

You spend the next day deliberating between making it to the bar or not, putting in the effort to get ready and showing up. Why bother? Just to sit awkwardly in the corner while everyone flocks to the boys and tells them how great they are? They already know they’re great, they’re crawling higher and higher up the ladder. 

You haven’t even talked to Eddie since the morning he left your trailer, and Wayne knows that. He knows how bad you hurt his nephew because he came over to talk to you a week after Eddie went to California and stayed for good. ‘So why should I show my face there? So I can relive the moment he made a fool of me over again?’ You think while the hot water of the shower glides over your shoulders and down your chest. 

‘Maybe it’ll be good to make amends or something, I at least owe it to the guys,’ you figure silently while you slather on some moisturizer at the bathroom sink. And you did – not seeing Eddie meant not seeing the rest of the band. Gareth, Jeff, and Grant were your friends too, and you sort of broke up with them in the same instance. Sasha moved out to California with them soon after – it would be nice to catch up at least. You hadn’t seen her since that night. 

‘But why would I want to bother? So I can see that engagement ring on her finger and hear her talk about her wedding plans?’ you swallow sourly while you use a touch of your lipstick as blush on the apples of your cheeks. ‘Remember all the times you thought you and Ed were gonna get married? Hilarious.’ 

Before you know it, it’s 11:30 and you’re standing outside of the sticky and stickered covered door of The Hideout. Even from where you’re standing the bar is a buzz like a hive, energy inside like a livewire when you get into the entryway, showing your ID to the bouncer at the inside door. 

‘Small after party my ass, Wayne,’ you think to yourself when you get in, shrugging off your coat. There was barely room to move and most of the lights were off or dimmed aside from the small stage in the back. By the looks of it, they must’ve played a small set – an intimate ‘home base’ concert for the real hometown fans. You push through some of the crowd, acrid smoke haze hovering over the room. A single bar stool sits empty at the end of the counter close to the wall and before you can think about it, you beeline straight there before someone else can grab it. Not that anyone would be able to see it through the six couples making out to Slayer blasting through the speakers. 

The bar tender notices you soon after, coming over to get your order while his two cohorts speedily pour shots and mix drinks. You almost don’t want to get anything just to make the night easier, but opt for a beer instead. 

“How much?” you ask over the music. 

“WHAT?” the bartender shouts, holding a hand to his ear. 

“HOW MUCH?” you yell back. 

“ON THE HOUSE. BAND IS COVERING DRINKS,” he shouts back. You take a few dollars out while he pours your beer anyway, sliding it across the bar with a smile. He smiles back, pocketing the ones with a wink before helping another person leaning over the bar. 

The TV takes your attention, a tape of their recent interviews and music videos playing on a loop with no sound. The beer is almost comforting as it passes over your tongue, it’s been some time since you just sat in a busy bar – and for the most part, no one here even knows you. For the most part. 

A call of your name snaps you back to reality, looking around to see exactly who you thought you would. Sasha. And low and behold a ring sparkles bright on her finger, a breathtakingly big diamond glittering in the neon lights behind the bar. 

“Hey!” you call back with a smile, sick crawling up your throat. You watch as she fights the crowd to get over to you, wrapping you in a tight hug while you stay seated on the stool. 

“How have you been? You look gorgeous,” Sasha’s tan skin glows back orange in green while the lights change, tight dark curls bouncing prettily around her face. 

“I’ve been good!” you nod, your voice hardly sounds like your own, “Y’know just – hanging around Hawkins. How’s LA? How’ that ring?!” 

She holds her hand out so you can really see it, her skin is warm in yours while you take her fingers. It’s more beautiful up close, the marquise diamond flanked by two smaller triangles in perfect harmony. 

“He did so good, Sash,” you giggle. 

“I slapped his arm so hard when I saw it,” she laughs, “I said, ‘Jeff we could’ve bought a freakin’ house!’ but you know how he is.” 

“I do, I do,” you nod, “Did you set a date?” 

“Probably not for another year or so if we do a big wedding,” she shrugs, “Maybe a little longer? We think it’s smart to actually buy a house first – with this kind of money coming in. And y’know, the industry is, uh, well, it can be wishy washy. What’s in today could be out tomorrow. We wanna be smart.” 

“Well thank god he’s marrying someone like you then,” you tease. 

“That’s true,” she beams, “Do the guys know you’re here? I can go grab J–”

“No, no, they don’t,” you interrupt, taking her arm gently while she turns to leave, “You don’t have to tell them I’m here. I’ll go find them, I promise.” 

Sasha gives you a half hearted smile, “Okay. Well – We’re sitting over by the stage if you wanna come say hi to the guys. Gareth would lose his mind, and Grant brought his new girl with him, she’s so cool. They met in LA and she’s like, got the sickest punky-goth type of thing about her.” 

“I love that he’s in love,” you gush. 

“Me too,” she nods, “The girls are obsessed with him out there.” 

There’s a silence, but it’s knowing – still one person yet to have been mentioned but you both seem to understand it’s not worth bringing it up. Sasha reminds you that they’re by the stage, giving her a wave while she disappears in the throngs of people in the crowd. 

Half way through your second beer and a couple of random conversations with people later, you see him in glimpses while people pass by. You can tell by the smirk on his face that he’s flirting, and when more people move and re-disperse, settling, you see glimpses of her, too. Some cute young looking thing, you wouldn’t be surprised if it was her twenty-first birthday. All doe eyed and giggly while he leans over her against the wall near the booths. I guess whoever he’s seeing in California isn’t too important.

He looks good, healthy, you can tell his clothes are tailored now – sort of comical that a tailor would fit and adjust ripped jeans and an old leather jacket. Not that he has to know you think it’s funny. 

Eddie leans forward and lets his finger tap her on the nose, a tell-tale sign of his that they’ll kiss later. He’s used that move on you more times than you can count. He did it the night you met, tipsy at a party at Gareth’s – tapped you on the nose, making you scrunch it. 

‘Aw, if I knew you’d make a face like that I would’ve booped you way earlier.’ 

‘What do you mean? What face?’ You scrunch again. 

‘That face,’ he bites his lower lip, blush on his cheeks, ‘It’s a cute face.’

You expected it to hurt more, to watch him active in his element; but it doesn’t. You know the motions, you know his tells, he next move. You can see it in the way he leans into her and then leans away – almost kissing her, but leaving her wanting more. You smirk into your next sip, counting down the moments until he puts their conversation on pause to do their rounds and finding her again later. Gotta keep her yearning, you guess. He certainly was always good at things like that. 

You don’t see their reunion, you assume it was somewhere near the stage where the band and Sasha were. At the end of the night, the boys play a goodnight mini-set, just three songs. You’d never seen Ed so in his zone in your life, fully basking in the glow of upcoming stardom. Every chord and every lyric punching out of him like the sweat pouring from his hairline and chest. This was what you wanted, what you told him to do. 

Go be famous. And here he was. Famous. Just like you said he would be. 

Water takes the place of your beer while they play; and you know better than to get up and join the crowd. Much happier sitting at the end of the now more empty bar just listening instead of getting potentially punched or tussled with amongst the bodies. 

People take their time leaving when the set is over, shrugging on their coats to brave the cold weather. 

‘Thanks for comin’ out to celebrate with us – now get the fuck out so our buddies at the bar can go home before four!’ 

You savor the conversations and music settling down to a much quieter murmur while you sketch on a napkin. A few people you shared niceties with tap your shoulder to say goodbye, new friends you’ll never see again. On the other end of the bar you hear Grant and his girl order a round of shots. Your head almost pops up at the sound of his voice, but that might bring attention to you that you don’t think you really want. Now that the night is over, you’re glad you came. If anything, just to see that they were making it just fine – and they would have with or without you. 

With less people in the bar you can hear Sasha’s laugh in the back where the stage is, and you laugh into your napkin turned sketchpad. Her laugh was always infectious, enough to make the crowd follow suit. You grab a fresh napkin from the pile next to you and start to doodle again while you figure out how to best leave without anyone catching wise that you’re here. Out of the last twenty people left at the bar, a little more than half knew who you were.

The tap of the pen on the bar top while you think blends in with the tinkling of hardware that gets a little louder the closer it gets to you. A squish of leather and drag of a barstool later makes you privy that someone’s next to you. Spiced cologne and sweat sheened skin. 

“You come here often?” 

Slowly, you turn your head – level with brown eyes you haven’t looked in for a year, just in the glossy pages of magazines you’d leave behind at the grocery store or Melvald’s. 

“I used to,” you offer a quiet tired smile, leaning your chin on your hand on the bar, “It’s been a while.” 

Eddie smiles back, soft, cautious, “Yeah, same for me.” 

You both don’t speak for a moment, adjusting yourselves on the barstools while a few more people head out to leave. The jingle of the door fades out, crunches of the parting patrons’ sneakers and boots in the snow sound outside.

He clears his throat, bringing your attention back to him – the curls of his hair, the slight stubble on his jaw and cheeks. His bottom lip tucks between his teeth for a moment before he turns his chest toward you. 

“Can I uh, can I get you a drink?” 

[judesmoonbeauty]

My Thoughts & Spoilers On Jude's Route

This will contain detailed major route spoilers. If you do not want to be spoiled, please move on because I will not be filtering my review. Also, not all spoilers and details are being shared. This is intentional. Bear in mind this is written prior to my thoroughly translating his route, so the translation may have some adjustments to this information.

So, I really LOVED it!! It's a very good storyline. Am I biased? Yes. However, whether you're romantically interested in Jude or not, I feel like you'll like in route in general. I do highly recommend reading his and Ellis' Past Records before his route if you can. His route does bring up clips from PR, but it's very minimal and there's a lot of context and extra details in PR that you don't get in this MS. I did my best with this, but my thoughts are still every where, so if it doesn't make sense. My bad.

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers....of sorts?, Slow-burn. Key Side Villain Characters: Ellis, Nica, Victor New Side Characters For His Route: Theodore Walker, Gilbert Murphy, Oswald Simmons Love Language: Physical Touch (I'd just like to say that I called this.) Who Falls in Love First: Kate First Kiss: Kate Kisses Jude First Full Snu-Snu: Chapter 24 Both Premium ends Jude's Fate Tragic End: He will die bearing a grudge against/hating the world. Route CW: Violence, Smoking, CA, Neglect, Mentions of a child's death. Jude's Age: 28-30. Jude's Heritage: Irish-British Jude's Curse: 13th Fairy (An endless cycle of hatred) Jude's Fated End: To die with a hatred/resentment against the world.

Plot: In a nutshell, Kate is trying to find one good thing to like about Jude prior to her term of FTK (fairytale keeper) ending, as per their first promise made together. If she finds one, Jude must fulfill any one request she has. Amidst working for both Crown and Raven, Kate tries to come into her own in terms of standing as Jude's equal, seeing the world as he does, and essentially saving him from not only own his death wish, but from being framed for treason against their country.

My thoughts: Jude's route is very lively, it's got a healthy amount of funny moments, action packed moments, and it's quite wholesome overall. However, it still retains some darkness in the sense of his past, and the fact that he's literally on this tightrope of life and death.

Kate: She is not afraid of voicing her thoughts and feelings, or speaking sarcastically to Jude. I almost died when I read that she stuck her tongue out at him LOL. There's this scene where Ellis tells her she's thinking out loud when she doesn't realize it, so she apologizes. A few minutes later after she greets Theodore, she sees Jude behind him:

Kate: ....And thanks for your hard work too, Jude. Jude: Can ya please stop greet me so sourly? Makes me wanna vomit my mornin' tea. Kate: I wonder if I'm under a curse that'll kill me if I don't say something sarcastically...

So, she is very courageous and gutsy, but she also thinks things through. There are times where she wants to act because she loves Jude and wants to be there for him, but she also knows not to act rashly because her movements can hurt him and Crown, so she opts to bide her time instead.

Out of all of her versions, I think she is the one who gets the most frustrated, the most angry, and laughs the most at certain situations such as getting locked in the office with Jude. She is very optimistic and kind, but not saintly kind.

She is a fighter. She learns self-defense and how to use a gun, a lot this takes place off screen, but she does develop this over time. Which is nice because it's more realistic.

Jude & Kate Relationship: Starts off very rough, and I say it's an enemies to lovers trope, but no one actually hates the other person, they simply don't get a long and it has that vibe. Jude is trying to kick her out of Crown, and Kate is trying to find something she likes about him.

Overall, they bicker and banter a lot. It's cute because in MLE Kate says, "If I say one thing, he has 10 things to say", and in BLE Jude says, "If I say one thing, she's got 10 things to say." They're adorable together.

One scene I loved was when Jude is being attacked by a group of thugs in his office after closing hours, and Kate barges in with her gun. She yells at the men to stop what they're doing, and then she tells Jude to step away from them. And so, Jude and Kate are having this full blown conversation as they're surrounded by these thugs as to why she is at his office, who's fault it is, etc, etc. And when the head thug starts to complain, both Jude and Kate say, "Shut up!" at the same time. This seems like it actually becomes a thing for them, they say it in MLE as well.

Were they childhood friends? No. That was an AU thing only, and a clever misdirection from Cybird. I think key take aways from Dark IF and Prison IF are that they made promises to each other, and that Kate tries to return to little Jude in Prison IF. Additionally, it does hint that two children were involved in Jude's past, just the other wasn't Kate, it's his sister. While some may be disappointed by this, I loved that it turned out this way, it surprised me.

Love Language: Physical. Touch. Lemme say it again. Physical Touch. While their relationship is a slow burn, it's not without it's tension along the way, and the pay off is hella worth in my opinion. I just knew that Jude was going to tear into her, and he does.

But more importantly, Jude touches Kate a lot especially before missions. For example, in BLE just before Kate goes undercover at a criminal organization that is using Raven products, she and Jude are in his office reviewing the plans, and while he does this, he touches her bare skin, kiss or bite her, and then after the mission he'll make love to her. Why? Because Kate made another promise to Jude earlier in the route that she would never die before him, so he doesn't have to suffering loss ever again. So, prior to any missions, he'll touch her up to a certain point like a promise she won't die, and then finish once she returns safely. I can't...he's so damn precious.

They love each other very very much, but Jude doesn't like saying the words. "I love you." Not because he's a tsun, but because they're easily said. So, he'll convey his love to Kate with words like, "I'm taking you to hell with me." If you read his side stories, he'll tell you just how much he loves her, and he admits that there is no other woman in the world that he could ever love like her.

Important Side Characters: Theodore Walker: 21 y/o and he works in the sales department at Raven. Every one calls him Theo, even Kate. It seems that he's worked for Jude for a long time as well. He's very personable, and chatty, and he gets nervous about things like when the president forgets his custom fountain pen as he's on his way to business meetings. He even says to Kate and Jude that Kate is his type, and everyone is like.....um what? I'm really happy that Theodore isn't a traitor. I like him. I thought Cybird would use him the way that contract worker in Jude's first story event would be used. But no, he's just a loyal young man who cares about his job. I hope to see him again.

Oswald Simmons: He is the doctor who treated Jude and his sister after Jude memorized an entire medical textbook in a week. After Jude's sister was sold off, Jude ran to Oswald and asked that if he put Jude through school, let him lodge with him and provide him food, then Jude would pay him back with interest. Oswald agrees and in time, Jude does pay him back with interest. Oswald treats everyone equally, and he finds Jude's intelligence and ability to memorize things amusing. While he does not offer to take Jude in of his own initiative, Oswald does have a soft spot for Jude, as he tries to gift Jude a new pocket watch upon graduation and the success of his new company. He even tries to dissuade Jude from seeking revenge that will only force Jude into be lonely. In the route, he tells Kate to relay a message to Jude, that if he ever gets into a pinch to comeback and he'll give Jude a run for his money. To this day, Oswald still has the watch that Jude refused to take.

I honestly, hope that they reunite one day. Jude doesn't wish Oswald any ill-will (though he calls him a weirdo), and he wished Oswald a long life when he said goodbye.

Gilbert Murphy: He is a high-ranking officer of the British military who colludes with the Privy Council and a criminal organization to frame Jude treason and building military weapons. However, Gilbert truly does think that Jude is going to the moon for monetary purposes. While he is being an asshole for framing my beloved, his motives are to protect the people from potential weapons that can be created with Jude's research. Still, it's sullying Jude's innocent and pure motives. Still, he testifies in Jude's favor and takes the blame of the dead privy council member, as his own form of justice for trying to frame Jude due to his becoming blinded by his obsession to protect his country.

The other villains: Ellis: Ellis is Jude's right hand so he is heavily involved with the plot, especially in MLE. We know about Ellis.

Nica: Darius asks him to investigate Jude, so he does. Twice, he offers information to Jude that he's gathered after he lets him know he's aware of what he's building.. The first time, he tells him that a part from the criminal organization Jude has already been dealing with, the British military want his plans too. And wouldn't it be something if they teamed up to get Jude's research. He asks if he can snatch the robin away from Jude, but Jude says she doesn't belong to him, and no matter whom she dated she belongs to herself.

Nica leaves the bar after getting scolded by Jude, but prior to that, he tells Jude that the robin is in the most danger because she's around him. A few chapters later, Nica appears again and tells Jude that his assumptions based on the previous information given have come true, and because he didn't let go (of Kate), he's letting her know the facts. After he explains the situation to her, he tries to whisk her away on a date, but Kate declines. While Nica is a "playboy", it seems that he does care for Kate's well-being.....I am letting my current knowledge of his past events, and bond stories influence me by saying this.

At any rate, at the end of BLE, Darius asks Nica why he follows his orders so complicitly, and Nica says it's because he's on the winning side, and to him, Darius will be or is the winner. Darius is satisfied with this, and when he leaves Nica looks at his palm and says that he will be the happiest someday. It's already been established that becoming the happiest person is important to him, but this has now been reinforced.

Victor: Lore crumbs are very little, but what we do know is that when Kate asks him if he is angry, he tells her that he's forgotten loneliness a long time ago.

Further, when he approaches Jude and asks if Jude is hiding something from him and Crown, he tells Jude he has the means to help him. Jude asks if Victor isn't the one hiding something, and remarks that's why Harrison hates him so much because he knows he is lying. Victor simply smiles and stays silent. Upon leaving his study, Victor does tell Jude no matter what, he doesn't want their freedom disturbed and those are his true feelings.

Further, Victor later tells Kate in the BLE that when Jude says he abuses his power, Jude wasn't lying about that. Later in chapter 24, all of Crown are gathered together in front of her Majesty the Queen for a very important meeting. Victor speaks saying that they wish to grant Kate the position of fairytale keeper permanently, and when Jude finds out, he leaves angrily. In the middle of all this, the Queen never utters a word.

I don't think we learn anything new that we weren't aware of before with Victor to be honest, unless I missed something while reading. But, it's nice to know that we should see something big for his route. We better for how under wraps his lore is kept.

Jude's age: He can't be any older than 30 because in his Past Records he definitively says that he is five years old. In the MS, Oswald states the events he recounted to Roger and Kate took place over 20 years ago. Kate reason's that if it was 20 years ago then Jude had to be under the age of 10. I think he's 28-30.

Jude's Curse: Jude's curse was born when his heart was completely broken, and he vowed to get revenge on those who made him and his sister suffer. It's manifestation was described as a black flame of hatred in his heart. Essentially, Jude has entered a vicious cycle of hatred that never really ceases. Jude fuels this cycle by acting in a way where people want to get revenge on him, and a part of that is because he want's to die.

Jude's Fated End: Jude is fated to die bearing a grudge/resentment/hatred against the world. Jude himself says that his death will not be an honest one. Some have made comments that his fated end is a bit underwhelming, but I am pleased that Cybird left Disney alone, and stuck with Grimm's ending for the 13th fairy. I love it because no one knows what the fairy was thinking or what happened to it, it just simply disappears. This is something that is mentioned quite a bit in Jude's route.

In the MS there is a beautiful chapter with all of Crown gathered for a fireworks beach day, and while Jude is looking at the fireworks, Kate is looking at him. She thinks he is like a firework, beautiful, dangerous if you get too close, and then simply gone.

In BLE, Kate watches a Sleeping Beauty play hosted by local town children where she is staying and even though she knows that the outcome of the fairy is unknown, she is hoping for a different outcome. When the kids stick to the fairytale, it's then she realizes that Jude too - while still stuck in his cycle of hatred - will die. He will never know happiness, and disappear like the burnt body of cigarette smoke, like a firework in the sky.

In chapter 18ish, while Jude is being held captive and being tortured by the British military for information on Crown, he laughs self-mockingly and says that this is the perfect fit for him to die bearing resentment/grudge against the world.

Is Kate Trying to find a way to break the curse? No. Unlike Alfons and Roger's route, Kate is willing to accept Jude's fate, stay by him, make him happy and be his reason to live. That is her sole purpose, to make sure he doesn't die. Kate is obsessed with keeping him anchored to the world no matter the cost, and she even mentions to Victor that even though no fated ends have ever been avoided, that doesn't necessarily mean they are tragic.

Is Jude happy by the end of the route: Yes. Though he won't admit it out loud being the tsun tsun that he is, Jude's first glimpse of happiness occured when he told Kate about his dream and she didn't laugh at him. By the time he puts her to sleep and leaves her behind, he tells her that being genuinely liked wasn't so bad. And of course, Ellis asks if he can kill Jude in his BLE epilogue because it's obvious that he's happy......Jude tells him he can go die, and Ellis is like okay okay. FR though E, I need you to calm TF down.

The depth of his love for her is so great that he tells her that if she ever tries to run from him, she should just kill him. The reason is because she is his only happiness - she is the moon that he's been trying to reach for so long. He'd have no reason to live if she left him.....

Hmmm, here are some of my favorite parts in his route:

He tries so hard to protect Kate, from throwing her out of a window when a house is on fire and telling her she died in that fire so she wouldn't have to return to Crown, to lying to her and accusing her of making a 10,000 £ mistake and firing her from Raven, and other things.

I love that he even assigned people to watch her secretly after he's left her behind in a seaside town, with the intention of doing so for a long time since she is known throughout London for said involvement with Jude. He says things like, if she can live a calm, normal life, then that's enough for me. So, he's resigned to love her from afar.

He does everything in his power to protect even Crown from getting involved with his research so they aren’t crushed and hated by the privy council or others, even undergoing brutal torture.

Jude promises to make Kate the happiest he can before they go to hell, and there are many, many more things he does to endear me even more to him. I nearly cried when he introduced Kate to his sister at her grave he had made for her, saying she (his unnamed sister), was the only family he had left.

Even though he knows his dream of going to the moon is going to be difficult, he is more determined than ever to achieve it, because he's got two promises to keep.

Ultimately, we have our teasing Jude and Kate kicking ass together, and loving each other until their ends come.

Ugh, I'm gonna make myself cry. Well, this is it in a nutshell. Sorry for rambling!

[puc-puggy]

really fascinated with deadpool & wolverine less as a movie and more as a corporate response to the growing insecurity in relating to and creating meaningful art. like, never have we been more aware of the impact that the relationship between art and artist is oppressively mediated by Corporation than right now with marvel, whose movies grow continually worse and more forgettable under growing corporate control, and this movie bears the weight of a particularly complicated and contentious merger. what they decided to do about it is just. fascinating. disturbing, but fascinating.

the movie is incredibly aware that it is a Product and seems to have completely sidestepped any attempt at meaningful storyline in lieu of packing as much Content into 2.5 hours as possible. and I mean Content. they broke him up with his girl & separated him from all his meaningful character connections, then sent him through a very funny but disjointed and lackluster plot, putting all the meat in nostalgic character interactions or gratuitous fan-pleaser match-ups that can work as tiktok clips. don't get me wrong, i'm a basic x-men bitch. wolverine is one of my all time favorites, especially early angry fucked up alcoholic logan. i gasped at elektra and straight up screamed when wesley snipes came into frame. I laughed out loud at the list of cocaine slang terms disney apparently has. it was fun! it succeeded in making me not mind that it was barely a movie.

and that's the rub, isn't it? it was barely a movie, and it knows it’s barely a movie. but it still has to connect with its audience somehow. and that, i think, is what's really fascinating. it forges its connection with the audience not by building characters or stakes and giving any of them genuinely grounded emotional arcs but by using a fourth-wall breaking character to commiserate with the audience about the impact of corporate ownership & profit on their relationship and access to the stories we love. while being the impact of corporate consolidation on stories you love.

deadpool makes jokes about his stupid villain and mcguffin machine, but the plot is still motivated by a stupid villain and a mcguffin machine. he jokes about being banned from doing cocaine on screen & does not do cocaine on screen because he can't. the corporation that now owns his IP has deemed it against their values. he jokes about what things "have to happen" in the movie because there is actually a list that they were given. as a friend pointed out, “the climax was exactly as contrived as it needed to be to make it a statement: ‘you see how this barely-fleshed-out villain character is just gonna kinda stand there in front of the macguffin machine for as long as we need her to so that we can have the conversations and tropes and results we want? yeah we're just gonna do that. we're gonna keep cutting back to her just standing there going Mmmmm mwah haha to specifically highlight how dumb it is. On purpose.’”

by embedding it in the plot with a character that breaks the fourth wall, the movie stops being “about” the plot on screen and starts being “about” the collective relationship to the characters, embodied by ryan reynolds, whose personal desire for a good deadpool & wolverine movie motivated by his pure love for deadpool is the mythological origin of the movie, and who was allowed to break character and say as himself to hugh jackman as wolverine “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this.” he’s turned into a sort of avatar of the pure fan, who’s there to love the character and have fun and isn’t too bothered by logistics and legalities. it wants you to feel like deadpool also hates it when stories get shuffled because of corporate stockowners, like this extremely expensive bullshit is his personal protest and he's going to give them a proper sendoff & ryan reynolds was around to hold everyone up to standard. the corporation soothing the audience and fan that people who love the stories are ‘in charge’ enough to create a good time, lowering your standards and expectations of a story to what’s profitable for them to create.

kind of genius.

[crowsofdarkness]

Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Fourteen

*gif not mine. credit to owner*

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!

Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice

The office was a comforting quiet, the noises of my keyboard clicking, soft music playing from Bucky’s office, and me humming along to that said music. It was Friday, which meant the end of the week and a nice relaxing weekend in the sightline ahead. I didn’t have much planned, maybe seeing if Bucky would come by for a late night rendezvous but as he mentioned to me countless times, the weekends are harder for him to leave Natasha because she always had something planned for them. 

The jealousy nibbled away at my heart, picturing the two of them getting to do all of these sweet, romantic things out in the open while I was hidden in the darkness, almost forgotten. 

It’s what you signed up for. 

Shaking the thought from my mind, I forced myself to focus on my work. 

“Where the fuck is he?!”

I glanced over the top of my computer screen and saw a very angry Clint Barton barging his way into the building, making a straight line towards Bucky’s office. 

Bucky was on the phone, unable to deal with Clint, so I quickly stood and shut his door. 

“He’s busy,” I told Clint, blocking his path from Bucky. 

“This doesn’t concern you,” Clint stated. 

He tried to walk around me but I was a tad bit faster, blocking his path again. 

“You can come back when Bucky has time to see you. Make an appointment.” 

Clint’s jaw clenched. “Barnes didn’t have an appointment when he barged into my house last night to drag Natasha away.” 

I swallowed. “Well, it must have been for a good reason if he dragged his wife away.” 

“Do you know how disrespected I felt, having him come into my home, in front of everyone I had there, to drag out his wife? He’s so jealous that he refuses to let her have a friendship with me.” 

I ignored the pain I felt and shook my head. “It doesn’t sound like Bucky.” 

Clint chuckled darkly. “You don’t know him well enough then. Now, move out of my way.” 

“Can’t let you in there,” I backed up against the door.

The anger radiated off of him now and he gripped me elbow tight, undoubtedly leaving marks, and practically dragged me away from the door. I ripped my arm out of his grasp and swung my fist into his cheek, knocking him away from me as he stumbled back over his feet. 

“Keep your fucking hands off of me!” I seethed. 

Clint pulled his hand away from his lips, blood dripping from it onto the ground. Darkness clouded his iris’ and as he advanced towards me, Bucky stepped out of his office and leaned against the frame of the door, arms over his chest. The amusement on his face didn’t go unnoticed by me. 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here and putting your hands on her, Barton.” 

Clint scoffed while wiping the blood from his lip with the sleeve of his shirt. “You’ve pissed off the wrong guy, Y/N.” 

“Oh, fuck you Barton. I’m not worried about you,” I spoke. 

Bucky nodded towards the door of the building, telling him to leave before it got worse and reluctantly, Clint walked out while licking his wounds. 

“Asshole,” I grumbled while looking at Bucky. 

He was already watching me and slowly licked his lips, desire pooling in his eyes. 

My panties soaked with my own desire at the look he was giving me. “What?” 

“That was fucking hot,” he moaned. 

Our naked bodies lay tangled together in a heap on the couch in his office, both coming down from our shared high. Bucky’s vibranium fingers dragged up and down my back while I pressed my cheek deeper into his bare chest, my own fingers ghosting over the scars on his shoulder, leaving a kiss there every so often. 

“Bucky?” 

He hummed, eyes closed from the pure bliss he felt. 

I linked my hand with his vibranium one. “I’ve noticed you never wear a wedding ring.” 

Bucky shrugged. “I’ve never been big on jewelry.” 

With a nod, I snuggled closer into his embrace and allowed myself to enjoy the last few minutes of quiet solace before Steve or Sam came to work and caught us. It was risky being together at work but yet Bucky and I continued to fall into one another when we were alone here. 

Figuratively and literally. 

Suddenly, Bucky’s phone began to ring quite loud, eviscerating our solace together and with a sad sigh, I pulled myself away from him. He reached down to the floor and dug out the phone from his discarded pants. 

His eyes jumped from the phone to me, a frown pulling at his lips. He didn’t need to say who was calling, it was evident in the way he stood and walked to the other end of his office. 

I marveled at the way his back muscles twitched with every movement, as he stood with his backside towards me, naked, baring his entire self to me. My bottom lips caught between my teeth as I fought the urge to go up to him, wrap my arms around him, and kiss his entire back. 

“Hi, Nat….wait, slow down. What are you saying?......Yeah, he did show up about an hour ago, upset about last night….You can’t get upset with me, you knew what you were walking into last night when you went to Clint’s house. I’m glad I got there in time. I don’t care that the two of you are good friends, he put everyone there in danger. Including you.” 

I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly happened last night that Bucky had to drag Natasha out of Clint’s house. 

“I'm not going to fire her, Nat. Barton put his hands on her first. she was defending herself…..Of course I'm defending her actions because she did what anyone should do….. You're being ridiculous, she works for me.”

Bucky never said my name, he didn’t have too. I knew they were talking about me. 

He turned to face me with guilty eyes and breathed deep. “Nat, there's nothing between us. I would be doing the same thing if it happened to Steve or Sam….Yeah, we can have a date tonight, just me and you…Of course sweetheart.” 

I could hear Natasha’s voice rambling on about something but it was white noise to Bucky as his eyes raked over my bare body while I lounged on the couch, legs spread wide for him. It wasn’t my intention to distract him from his call, this was the only way my body would fit on the small couch. 

Bucky’s pupils were blown wide with lust, the blueness of them a thing of the past, as he chewed roughly on his bottom lip. 

“I have to go, I’ll call you when I leave the office.” 

He didn’t bother to wait for her to say goodbye, him ending the call and placing his phone on his desk, making sure to silence it this time. 

“You’re such a fucking tease, doll.” 

I didn’t have a chance to explain myself before Bucky was on top of me once again, the tip of his cock pressed at my entrance. 

A small grimace crossed my features as I did my best to gather up my things, ready to go home for the weekend. My knees were weak and the bruise forming on my ass from the smacks Bucky pressed with his vibranium hand were causing me a bit of pain as I walked. 

This time in his office was rough, in the most euphoric way. I blamed it on the sheer thought of us getting caught that caused Bucky to act so dominant. 

Not that I complained one bit. 

Vibranium fingers wrapped around my throat while Bucky slammed his hip with vigor behind me, pulling my back close to his chest, flesh fingers digging deep into my hips. 

Absent-mindedly, I rubbed at the small bruises on my hips as the memory of us together kept replaying in my mind like a movie. 

“Bucky, we’ve got a problem!” 

Steve’s voice boomed throughout the office as he came running out of his office. His eyes landed on mine as Bucky emerged from his own office, curiosity on his face. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. 

Steve didn’t say a word, simply handed his phone to Bucky, who read whatever was on there. The fear that took over Bucky’s expression made my stomach flip. 

“What is it?” I asked, taking the phone from Bucky. 

“Doll, don’t-.” 

He tried to stop me from taking it but I smacked his hands away, eyes scanning over the email that had both Steve and Bucky scared to death. 

Hit for Y/N Y/L/N. Preferably alive but dead works too. Half a mil. 

C.B. 

All of the blood drained from my body, it began to tremble with fear. I stood frozen, unsure of what to say or even do. 

“Clint put a hit out on me,” the words forming but faltering just the same. 

Bucky punched the wall behind me with his vibranium hand but the noise did nothing to deter my current state. 

“Motherfucker,” Bucky cursed. “He’s dead.” 

Sweat gathered at my forehead, the thoughts of some random people trying to either kidnap me or worse taking over my mind. 

“What are we going to do?” I asked, looking between the two men. 

“I’m going to stay with you tonight, make sure you’re safe, until we can think of a plan,” Bucky said. 

I nodded. “Wait, aren’t Natasha and Clint friends?” 

There was a flash of something unreadable in Bucky’s eyes. “There’s no way she knew about this. She wants nothing to do with the mob part of my life.”

Even with his own words, Bucky couldn’t believe it one hundred percent. 

“I think we should keep this between us, as far as Clint goes, he has no idea that I know about this. One of my informants forwarded this email to me,” Steve said. 

Bucky nodded, the idea of keeping a secret from his wife becoming easier to him. 

Then the front door to the building opened causing both Steve and Bucky to put me behind them, ready to fight whoever stepped inside. 

“Woah, jumpy aren't we?” Natasha chuckled. 

The three of us breathed a bit easier; for now. 

“Nat, what are you doing here?” Bucky asked with a pinched expression. 

Her face faltered. “Our date. You promised.” 

Bucky’s shoulders dropped. “Right. Well, something came-.” 

“Nope,” I interrupted him. “His schedule for the night cleared up.”

We needed to make sure that Natasha had no idea about Clint and the best way to do that was to keep up the same appearances before, even if that meant Bucky wouldn't be with me tonight. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she had to know something and the only one of us that could possibly find that out was him.

His eyes sliced into me. “I thought that-.” 

I shook my head, stopping him. “Steve can come with me. It’ll be a fast errand, won’t take up most of his night. Right?” 

Steve quickly picked up on what I actually meant and nodded towards Bucky. “I’ll make sure nothing happens.” 

Bucky’s jaw clenched with spite but eventually nodded in agreement. 

“Perfect, let's go!” Natasha linked her arm through Bucky’s in hopes to urge him along. 

“I’ll check in later, alright?” Bucky said while being pulled from the building, gone from my line of sight.

Steve placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze, and I looked up at him with an immense amount of fear. 

“I’m scared, Steve,” I admitted with a shaky breath. 

He pulled me into his warm embrace, lips ghosting over my hairline. “It’s alright. I’m not leaving your side tonight.”

[sadhornydemons]

The Other Possible Stepfather and Daughter

Because it may be awhile until we see Blitz and Via interacting, I wonder what (if any) relationship Loona and Stolas could develop, living under the same roof, working at the same job and basically being two of the most closest individuals in Blitz's life currently.

I've seen some harsh takes, some claiming that Stolas simply thought of Loona as Blitz's pet, not knowing she was his daughter until the hug moment in Mastermind, ect, ect.

The current storyline hasn't given us many clues or interactions, but here's what I've gathered and some of my own thoughts:

The first among the few times these two shared the screen was in Truth Seekers were they don't really interact but Loona manages to record Stolas in his full demon form as he possesses and terrorizes their captors.

She's among the group as Stolas scolds them for getting caught, but Blitz, Moxxie and Millie seemed to receive most of his focus for these few seconds.

Grimoire in hand, Loona leaves the portal before Stolas can pick up Blitz to have an exchange of words and tongues.

Seeing Stars is when Loona shines as the only one with the nose and social media skills to locate Stolas' runaway daughter. (Nevermind that she was the one who allowed Octavia to break in and steal the Grimoire, because Blitz is certainly not going to tell Stolas this.)

And despite being a low ranking demon by Hell's standards, she's the only one besides Stolas who can take on a human disguise.

(not that anyone comments on this in universe)

So yeah, until the group is separated, they share a few scenes, but no dialogue.

Later when Loona does finds Via, she defends Stolas a little, while also reflecting on her own relationship with Blitz.

"You know, your dad's really worried about you."

"..try to cut your dad some slack."

That said, Loona still decided her own father needed a nice kick to the groan to make things right upon seeing him next, something which seems to freaks Stolas out a bit:

But Loona seems to brighten upon seeing seeing Via, whom she recently bonded with, making peace with her dad.

In Western Energy, Stolas' kidnapping takes place the same time as Loona's hellbies shot appointment, which took Blitz 5 years to book. During their phone call, Blitz explains this, to which Stolas responses:

"Oh, ha, ha. Well, I do agree that is very important…But, I-" Before Striker takes his phone away.

Which, while not the best reaction, is pretty short to base a lot of opinions about. Does Stolas know what a hellbies shot is? I'd say definitely not. Does Stolas believe he's in real danger at this point? Seemingly not, since he utters "Oh, shit. Am I in danger right now?" in realization after Striker crushes his phone.

Full Moon opens with Loona waking up to her father making breakfast while singing about his "Nice arrangement," situationship with Stolas,

But upon hearing at work that Stolas been giving Blitz excuses to not see him, she brings up the idea that Stolas is getting bored of him.

Blitzo: "Whaaaat?"

Loona: "Yeah, man. If someone wants to see you less and less, big red flag. If they give you chances to ditch, they probably want out themselves. Just wanna be more passive aggressive about it. Dicks."

Later in the episode, Loona is seen with Moxxie and Millie, following Blitz, in which they encounter and fight the members of C.H.E.R.U.B.

Loona: "Find ya? We were already following our dumbass boss to make sure he doesn't fuck up and lose our meal ticket."

Unfortunately the falling out of that night leads to Blitz abandoning his job duties and spending all the company's money on frivolous purchases including 300 taxidermy owls that he makes Loona burn.

Blitz eventually is able to recover emotionally, but his involvement with the grimoire is used to bring him to trial, sentencing him to death until Stolas intercepts,

taking the blame and losing his power, title and home as a result.

Upon hearing that Stolas needed a place to live, Blitz walks him back to his and Loona's apartment.

Blitz is greeted with cheers from the crowd, while they throw things at Stolas. Loona, rather wisely, tries to step away from the two, less she gets pelted with anything herself.

But when they are back home, she takes the time to embrace the father she nearly lost:

"Hey, um. I'm so glad you're okay."

"I love you, Dad."

Already in a depressed state, Stolas is further reminded that he is separated from his own daughter and appears to shut down physically and mentally, resulting in Blitz helping him clean off in the bath. During that, he hears a knock.

Unprompted, Loona gives Blitz two pieces of her own clothes so that Stolas has something to change into, apart from his old stained royal attire. Stolas gets a lot of use out of this outfit until Blitz attempts to purchase him more (which instead turns into a theft).

Weeks pass, and when Sinsmas comes, Blitz brings Stolas into the office with him and Loona, with the intention of Stolas helping or learning Loona's job.

Stolas is none too pleased about going to work, but gives a nervous wave to the room when Blitz introduces him and a second wave to Loona when Blitz asks her to teach Stolas how to "secretate".

Loona: *sighs* "It's literally this: Ring, ring. 'Hello? I.M.P. Yeah, we can kill that asshole. Wanna schedule an appointment? Thursday cool? See you then, dipshit.' Click. It's easy as sin."

However, after being placed at the desk, Stolas manages to have a breakdown upon realizing that he no longer has any of his personal wealth. An action that doesn't go over well with his new coworkers, all whom are all among the lower or middle class money bracket:

After an aborted mission, the group return to find Stolas missing and discover he went back to his mansion in an attempt to see his daughter. However, in the process, he is captured by Andrealphus. Blitz instructs the group to separate before fighting and Loona makes the first attempt to free Stolas:

Andrealphus is ultimately defeated, by Stolas is left devastated by Octavia informing him that she no longer wants to see him.

Blitz, Loona and Stolas return home, where Loona announces plans for the rest of the holiday.

Loona: "Whew. That was intense. I'm gonna see if my friends can still come tonight. I need some drinks after what happened today."

Despite being preoccupied with Stolas once again shutting down, Blitz makes sure to give Loona the okay. Seemingly, he spends the rest of the evening with Stolas until the party starts. But someone does gradually put Sinsmas decorations throughout the apartment.

And we've reached our end.

So, Loona and Stolas. Not many interactions, but I don't see any bad blood between these two.

Loona appears to have some respect that Stolas tries to be a good father. And although Stolas' relationship with her own adopted father started out in a very messy transactional manner, their disastrous fallout following the Full Moon episode, and fomer's actions in Mastermind might have clued her in that from Blitz's perspective, Stolas had become more than the company's "meal ticket".

Loaning out her own clothes at the end of Mastermind, speaks volumes, even for someone like Loona who doesn't hesitate to speak her mind. Her father suddenly brings his complicated, homeless ex home to live with them, but Loona shows her support.

She keeps her space, living her own life, but still supports her father as he begins something new in his own.

Stolas seems nervous around Loona. I think, despite them living together, Loona may spend the majority of the time in her room, while Blitz is constantly keeping watch over Stolas. Blitz's affection for Loona as his daughter is quite obvious. Stolas was even witness to it as each ran to their daughters at the end of Seeing Stars, so I doubt he would be unaware of how important Loona is to Blitz. I think that that may be where some of the nervousness, which wasn't present in their early scenes, comes from.

Time will tell if these two will have reason to interact or work together in the coming seasons. Or if Loona's brief bonding with Stolas' daughter will come up again.

[bethebesttoyou]

Vampire In the Corner - Huening Kai

Synopsis: y/n learns the meaning of "reaping what you sow", when she wishes for a romance experience, only for it to come back as the form of a hungry vampire.

pairing: Vampire! Huening Kai x College student!reader

song: Vampire in the Corner - Magdalena Bay ( this song has been stuck in my head TEW GOOD) the song itself is quirky and kinda weird and sweet and I tried to make it the same vibe, but then like always we lost the plot. But it's inspired! Also inspired by Lisa Frankenstein! Also bad writing, but practice makes perfect :D

warning: Blood and biting and you know vampire stuff... the whole shebang.... and I think that's it! I tried to make it fluff and but honestly the mind does its own thing most of the time *sigh* Winter as a wannabe witch (or is she?) You as a hopeless romantic.

wc: 5k (😀)

A/N: You ever get a storyline stuck in your head and you love it so much, that even seeing it actually written down isn't enough? I need to be IN this story. I had this song and storyline stuck in my head and honestly not sure if I did it any justice but I wanted to so badly put it out before 1. I lost it and 2. I started to see the flaws in it.... If theres any plot holes, no there isn't <3 KIDDING PLS TELL ME

…And what endearments am I allowed? Let me think. Lizzie for everyday. My pearl for sundays and goddess divine…

The small tv illuminated the dark living room area of Soobin and Beomgyu’s apartment. Five faces braced the bright light, with one pair of eyes sparkling at the scene of her favorite movie, while the others watched with amusement at the cheesiness of it all. Surrounding them were plates with pizza scraps, sugary drinks and chips as they laid in different positions on the floor. 

…And how are you this evening Mrs. Darcy?...

“And how are you this evening, Mrs. Darcy?” the five of you repeat, you with a love laced voice, while the others mocked then gagged. 

“Seriously, who wrote the script…” Beomgyu groans as he rolls his head back. The credits had begun to roll down the screen, Winter reaching forward to pause the video. 

“A genius... You wouldn't know anything about that.” You throw the pillow towards him, hitting him square in the chest. 

“Alright, birthday girl… what’s next?” Yunjin grabs her plate, setting it on the already full coffee table, before stretching her hands in the air. 

This was a common Friday night for the five of you, while the apartment complex was buzzing with drunk college kids and a loud bass making the walls vibrate, your plans consisted of junk food, ranting, movies, trying not to kill Beomgyu and sometimes board games that Soobin stole from the recreational area on campus. Today, being your birthday, was spent doing everything you wanted to do, which included watching romance movies until the sun went down. You were three movies in before you decided to officially call it quits. 

“Hmm… I think Ive tortured you guys enough…” 

“Thank god…” Soobin whispers on the other side of the coffee table. 

“You guys suck! The girls enjoyed it right!?” 

“No.” Winter states blandly, her eyes covered by her dark side bang. 

“Um…I enjoyed you watching it~” Yunjin tries to flirt her way out, when she sees your glare, she continues, “okay present time! Me first! Me first!” 

She stands quickly running to her bag when Winter and Beomgyu pull out the boxes from behind them. 

“Quick. Open them before she upstages us.” Beomgyu whispers, pushing the boxes into your hands, Winter nods enthusiastically. 

You laugh before unwrapping Beomgyu’s box. Within the precise wrapping was a knitted brown sweater, the fabric was soft and decorated with blue flowers and patterns, accompanied with a matching blue beanie. It screamed you, as you put the sweater on, the color matching your maxi skirt. 

“Thanks Beomie! It's so me!!” 

“I know! I stalked your socials!” He said with a childlike excitement. 

“Oh!” 

“Me next! Me next!” Winter pushes the smaller box towards you. 

The box itself was wrapped in all black being held on all four sides by a gold ribbon. Untying it revealed a small vial of gray glittery liquid. A potion. 

“It's an armor potion. Meant to keep you from getting harmed if ever in danger. Made it myself!” Her eyes sparkled with excitement. 

“That's weird.” Beomgyu says upfront. You elbow him in the chest. It was weird, but thoughtful.

After no one speaks, she continues. “It can also be just for decoration.” 

“Youre so right! Going straight onto my shelf! Thanks Winnie! It's beautiful.” 

“Let's just hope she never has to use it.” Soobin glanced nervously at Winter’s small smile. 

“Me and Soobin pitched in together to get you this one…” Yunjin hands you their box. Opening it revealed a digital camera, already decorations with painted red flowers, and pink and white stars. 

“Oh my god… It's beautiful.” You looked at them both with adoration as they high five. 

“We know you've been wanting to take more pictures!” 

“Guys… All of you! I love you, guys!” your tears are threatening to spill. 

You wouldn't say your group of five were considered losers on campus…more so you weren't considered at all. Invisible really. Except for Winter, whose darkly appearance would garner stares and giggles. But no one really minded. Being in your own little world had its perks, You were able to be yourselves, able to speak your mind, maybe get bullied for it but in your own loving way. The outside world hurt, it burned and felt lonely. In the boy’s shared apartment, life felt easy and hopeful. 

You knew you made an odd bunch, different personalities mixed together wouldn't have probably worked for others, but you all genuinely enjoyed each other's presence. Whether the night consisted of Winter begging to contact ghosts or trying out spells she saw on some weird witch website, or Beomgyu and Soobin arguing about which game graphics were better on which console, or even Yunjins heated rants about everyone she hates (which amounts up to everyone), your nights were never boring. Spending your birthday with them was no different. In fact, nothing felt more like family. 

“Quick! Group picture before she starts getting sentimental!” 

You set the timer on the old camera, wiping your eyes before sitting in between Beomgyu and Winter, both resting their heads on your shoulders, Yunjin and Soobin joining in, sitting at the ends. The flash goes off as giggles spread around the room. 

—--

The clock had hit 1am by the time some were beginning to fall asleep on the ground. It marked the end of the night so once the cake was cut, and the group made fun of you for loudly wishing for a boyfriend on your candles, the five of you cleaned and started heading out. 

“Are you sure you don't want any of us to walk you home? It's really late…” Yunjin and Beomgyu look concerned as you all stand outside. 

Your place was towards the other direction than the others, leading you to have to take the dark road up to the furthest wing of dorms. 

“Yeah…I dont mind walking you.” Soobin stated, pushing his glasses up. He looked nervous watching the path to your dorm disappear in the darkness, crowded with trees and shrubs, letting you know he was more scared than you were. The path itself looked like a forest with how covered it was, the wind making the branches rattle and crack as the ‘hoos’ and caws from the nightbirds became louder. 

“Guys, it takes me like 8 minutes to get up there, ill be okay…who knows maybe I'll find the love of my life in those scary bushes.” 

“I dont think anything good is coming out of that forest…” 

You shrug, “I like bad boys too.” 

They groan, again. 

“Hey, you have that potion on you right?” Winter says from the back. 

“Yes, ofcourse!” 

“Dont be scared to use it.” 

“After I use it, they should be scared of me.” 

“YES!” Winter exclaims proudly. 

“Okay! Bye guys! Love you!” You exclaim, walking towards the dark end of the street, before they can protest. 

“Text us when you get home!” Yunjin yells. 

While they worried, this wasn't a new path to you. You had taken it many times since the group formed back in freshman year, when beomgyu and Soobin had invited you guys over to discuss some group project at the time. It was fate that the five of you were the last remaining students with no group to work with yet (maybe not fate, since no one wanted to work with introverted losers). You were boy crazy then too, the smiles of both beomgyu and Soobin had you in a trance, convinced that they were much in love with you as you were with them. But the infatuation wore out. It always did. Your obsession with love and the consumption of it,drove you to binging romcoms, staring at couples in restaurants, daydreaming about meeting your charming prince, and falling with just about anyone you'd meet. Yes, you were a little weird and your social skills might've been a little off to those you weren't close with, but you knew there was someone out there for you. Yet, you never actually went further than the feelings you gain, you would obsess then let it fizzle out. It was a routine, and kept your thoughts running at 80mph. 

You craved romance and would have sold your soul to be able to actually experience it. The late night kisses, the giggling under covers, the shy hand holding, the flustered cheeks, the sighing kisses, everything, you fantasized about it all. And you thought about it every single day, taking up most of your thoughts, leaving you distracted just like now. 

You were so distracted in fact,  walking the dirt road through the trees, as the moonlight made your footsteps cast shadows, that you didn't hear the other pair of footsteps behind you, or the wisps that caused the leaves to rustle. It wasn't till the crack of a branch nearby that you came to a halt.

You looked around for a sign of movement, holding onto the strap of your crossbody, listening in for any other sounds. The wind picked up, causing a chill down your spine, before you chuckle slightly, the fear slowly dissipating before blaming the weather for the scare. 

“Hi.”  A voice spoke, making you whip around to see no one, only when you face back to the direction of home, a man stands in front of you. Grasping at your heart, you stand still as you take a good look at him. The moonlight bounces on his black hair and his pale white skin that shines specks of crystal like freckles, but his eyes… no light reflects on them. 

“H-hi.” You respond back. You can't stop staring at his eyes as his pupils dilate and then return to normal. He steps forward and you step back, almost losing your balance. 

“I-its really late, a d-damsel like yourself shouldn't be l-left alone so late at n-night.” The man stutters out, he seems nervous and almost tired, with the heavy breaths he's pushing out. He rolls his head slowly, almost trying to regain any composure and opens his mouth, as he, very noticeably, stretches his jaw out and that's when you see it. Reflected by the white dull light of the moon, his two sharp teeth shine, pointy and thick…fangs. 

He returns your stare, licking the grooves of his top teeth. 

“Are…are you a vampire?” You ask, eyes wide and for a second, he's mirroring your reaction. 

Why arent you screaming yet? Neither of you move, and the figure looks at you confused. Why would you ask that so nonchalantly?

“Um…yes?” His brows were furrowed and head tilted. 

“Oh…” 

“Are you not scared?” 

You thought about it for a moment. Your hand was still on your heart, feeling the quick beats hit against your chest, yet you couldn't necessarily blame it on fear. You were…intrigued. The glimpse of half of his face left you wanting a closer look, the shining of his skin was blinding and distracting. 

“Youre so…pretty.” You say, mostly to yourself, but he is able to catch it. His eyes widen, watching your eyes sparkle with the moonlight and he feels heat rise to his cheeks.

“Um… What's your name?” You ask out of habit. 

“Kai.” 

“Y/N.” 

He nods. You can tell he's having a mental war with himself. This is probably not how these things go for him as he scratches his head softly. 

 With that, you realized why you weren't scared, he was not intimidating at all. Everything about him was soft, even the curve of his nose and the softness of his jaw. He didn't look like a threat. He looked like a painting, with his white flowy button up under a blue vest and blue jeans, his hair that laid like a mop on his head flowed in the breeze, uncovering a bit of his forehead. His teeth stuck out of his ‘o’ shaped mouth, you wondered how they would feel, if they were as sharp as they looked. 

You take a step forward, he takes a step back. 

“Um… Kai…Can…can I touch them?” 

“What? M-my fangs?” 

You nod nervously, almost regretting feeling bold enough to ask. Its the one thing that can kill you in this moment and yet the urge to feel them clouds your judgement. 

Kai, on the other hand, is completely lost in this situation, he has never garnered this reaction before. He's never been called pretty before. And he's caught off guard again when he realizes he's opening his mouth widely giving the stranger room to feel. 

You reach with one finger to smoothly feel the top before reaching the sharp end. The plush skin of your finger is not a sensation that Kai can turn a blind eye to, and yet he doesn't understand why he doesn't just bite down. You were merely food to him, so why is he having so much hesitation when it comes to you? 

Wind blows a bit harder this time around, reminding you where you were, the vibrations coming from your bag becoming louder. Shit. You remove your fingers from his teeth harshly. 

You begin to rummage through your bag before pulling it out and answering, the strange man still watching you in shock. 

“Hello?” 

What the hell? Are you dead? We have been calling and texting!! Soobin is on the other end, and you can hear beomgyu ask frantically, Did she answer? 

“I know, i-im sorry… I, uh, got caught up w-with something.” 

are you home atleast? 

You looked at the flustered vampire who was looking at you, disoriented. 

“Uhh, Yes, I'm heading to bed now, bye!” 

Hey! Wha- *Click* 

You focus on him again and then the lights of the building behind him. 

His pained face alerts you. 

“What?” 

“Your finger…” You look down at your hands and feel the liquidy substance dripping.

“Fuck.” You say as you begin wiping the blood on your skirt, but this just pains him more, a growl from his stomach breaking the silence. You stare up at him. The eye contact is prolonged as once again, he seems to be at a crossroads. Was he about to kill you? 

“I-Im just g-gonna go.” he grunts, and you feel a breath you didn't know you were holding. 

As he tries to make his departure, he finds himself once again feeling tired, but this time unable to stand straight, leaning on a tree close by, heaving. 

“A-are you okay?” You step closer, putting a hand on his back cautiously. 

He groans again, falling to his knees. 

“H-hungry…” He turns his neck to look at you and there's tears pooling in his eyes, theres red thick veins traveling from the inside of his shirt up up his neck and jaw, pulsing, each one causing him to close his eyes in pain, he looked like he was dying…it looked unbearable. You feel your eyes soften and you begin to worry. 

“Oh.. Um…” Your mind races trying to find a solution that doesn't involve dying or killing a person. OH! 

“S-Stay here! Ill be right back!” He turns to lean against the tree, sniffling, holding his stomach as the crystals in his skin start to fade. 

You sprint out of the tree infested woods, across the back lawn of the campus and head straight to the 24 hour diner. It would be the only place open at this time. You thought about it for a moment, how this couldve been your escape. Nothing was stopping you from leaving him there, from escaping danger. He didn't have to voice that he had every intention of killing you tonight, you knew, and yet his matted black eyes filled with tears made you run faster, the act of someone dying in front of you made you keep running. 

The door rings as you barge into the lonely diner, one booth occupied by a young looking man stirring his cup. You head towards the counter, frantically ringing the service bell. 

“You dont have to ring it that many times. How can i help you?” A very bored looking Anton waits for your order, but you cant stop your heavy breathing. You knew Anton from class, he had asked for a pen more than once, you thought he liked you, he just really needed a pen. And nothing reassured that statement than this moment, as he seemed to not realize who you were. 

“Um..” you clear your throat, “I-I need your bloodiest steak. Dont cook it.” He gave you a weirded out look.

“I legally cant give you that. Its a safety hazard. What? do you eat them raw?” 

you were running out of time. 

“Look, i have with me…” you take your wallet out counting your change, including your birthday money from your parents, “ 60 bucks for an uncooked steak, the bloodiest one you have. There's no cameras, so j-just take the bribe.” 

“Is this a prank?” 

“No? Please, Anton.” 

“How do you know my name?” Ouch. 

“We have class together, does it matter? The steak.” You were growing frustrated as you stole glances towards the trees in the distance. 

“Fine.” He takes the money from your hand and shoves it in his jeans before walking to the back. As you waited, you began to process the night. 

He could have just sucked your blood and left. You wonder what stopped him. What made him show you any mercy? Or was it maybe your blood doesn't smell tasty enough? Did even vampires not want you? You were kind of offended. 

“Here, it was the last one in the bag, so i just kept it with the juices.” He grimaced, staring at the sloshing of blood in the clear bag, “Is this for that one girl, whats her name? Autumn? Isnt she a wit-“ 

“Cant stay! Bye!” 

He watches as you leave the diner, heading straight towards the dark woods, and he shutters. weird, that was weird. 

As you get closer to the tree, you notice a crawling figure making their way out of the path, it was kai. Kai was on his knees, looking worse by the minute. You felt fear in this moment, if you get close to him, will he be able to control himself? But with the brittle way he tries to hold himself up, you knew you didnt have the heart to leave him there. you stick your hand in your bag to feel the vial, maybe winter knew what she was doing when she gave you this. So you run the rest of the journey, and begin to pull him up, setting him up against another tree nearby, watching the veins now turn black and thicker, it was like something inside him was eating him up. The tears were now running down his cheeks, and his hair was looking tussled. 

“what are you doing? I told you to stay… You're wasting your energy.” 

“I think I'm dying…”

“Here, I hope this helps.” You pull the bloody steak out of the bag and prepare for him to grab it, only for him to begin eating from your hand, with his teeth digging into the slab of meat aggressively. With each slurp the veins retract back into his skin, the softness and shininess coming back. Your hands tugged every now and then, as you tried to stay still, the blood was running down his neck and bleeding into his white blouse as he sucked the last drop. The crystallized freckles popped out one by one and even a dozen more, his cheeks were fuller and had a bit more color than before.And his black eyes were no longer dull, they were shining and reflecting the light coming from the nearby building. The most noticeable change was his lips, that were once dry and cracked, had become tinted pink and soft, creating their very own gloss. 

His eyes looked up to you after realizing the steak was now dry. The pink on his cheeks grows a shade darker as he stares, slowly releasing the meat from his hold, letting the weight, or lack of it, hang on your fingertips. You clear your throat. 

“Um… complementary blood juice?” 

“You're so weird… What are you?Why aren't you running away? Matter of fact, why did you come back?” He no longer feels at death's door, having the energy to investigate. He wipes his mouth with his sleeve and you watch as the blood drips from his mouth. You swallow hard. 

“I-Im human. Im Y/N.” His head tilts. 

“I know your name… why did you come back?” 

“I dont know… I don't know! You looked pretty but also sad and scared and you were crying… I couldn't leave you like that!” You're looking down at your hands, noticing not only the dry blood on them, but the ring of mud on your skirt. Anton had every right to be weirded out.

Kai covers his face with his hands, “Stop calling me pretty!” 

“Im sorry.” There's a beat of silence. 

“Where did you even get this? Did you put something in it? Are you working for someone?” 

“What?! No! I-I bought it! Pretty expensive I might add! And I-I expect to be paid!” 

“Dont worry, I can afford a 5 dollar steak” He smugly adds.  

“Ha! 5 dollars… what world are you living in?! You're in the year 2025!! That steak was 60!! 60 dollars!!” You refrain telling him the part where you offered that much. 

“60 dollars?! Where did you get 60 dollars from?!” He looks you up and down, from the muddy brown skirt to your new brown, now covered in splotches of red, sweater.

“It was birthday money.” you snap unintentionally. A beat of silence passes. 

“I'm sorry, I'm being ungrateful, you just saved me…I just… humans aren't usually this… caring? Happy Birthday….by the way…” 

“Thank you.” You sheepishly state, no longer looking at him as the heat rises to your cheeks. You grab your phone from your bag again, taking a look at the time. 2:43am. The group chat had died down by this point, leaving you with a couple of missed calls and messages of concern and then an updated message from your call with Soobin before everyone started saying good night. One message caught your eye though, a private message from Winter. 

1:20am

Please be careful…

“What is that?” 

“What?”

“In your hand? You talked to it earlier too, right?” 

Hes leaning forward now, scooting a bit closer. Its almost like he forgot he was a threat and you leaned back, before he looked at you and then back your hand curiously. 

“My phone…it's a phone.” 

“Woah… you mean like the telephone was modernized? Where’s the wiring?” 

“Its mobile now… l-like wireless?” 

“Wireless?! That's so interesting…This is so advanced, where are the buttons?” His eyes are bright with curiosity. 

“Its touchscreen!” His excitement was contagious and you couldn't help but giggle. 

“Touchscreen?” 

“Yeah, look!” You say clicking it on, the lock screen displaying a picture of Winter and Soobin wearing halloween masks posing back to back. You smile softly. You unlock it, passing it over to him to look through. Your hand skims his as he grabs the device. You feel a shock before pulling your hand away quickly, knocking your bag and hearing the items that it contains hitting the floor. Your eyes widening looking back at him and see he's already staring at you with the same expression. You clear your throat and frantically start collecting the items. 

I'm crazy but not Bella crazy. You thought. 

As you watch him scroll through your social media, leaving likes accidentally, asking ‘who is this?” Every time someone comes up, you realize just  how funny this all is. Here you were hanging out with a vampire. You were sure you were gonna wake up at some point. 

“What year were you born?” He stops to look at you, thinking for a moment…

“I dont really remember…” His eyes dim, brows scrunch together. “I've been 22 for a while…” He clears his throat, “What about you? I mean, how old are you?” 

“I turned 22 a couple hours ago” 

He nods. 

“Its been awhile since I've been up again… this era feels different. Everything seems so…” 

“Boring? It might just be the town.” 

“No it just feels like something big is gonna happen, It makes me nervous.” 

“Oh… are there more of you?” Your phone is no longer on, his gaze intensifies. 

“Y-yes. Actually, it's getting late… You should head home.” He gets up as quickly as he can still groaning, probably the blood was still working its way through his system. 

“You're letting me go?” 

“Ofcourse, you saved my life.” 

You felt silly but couldn't help but ask. 

“Will I ever see you again?” He looks up at the trees, looking around like he’s keeping guard. 

“I don't know if that's a good idea…” 

“Well… you still owe me 60 bucks…” He laughs, and it makes him look the most human, even with the sharp teeth. 

“Okay. I'll be back with your money, but for now, let's get you home.” 

Luckily, the walk to your dorm was taking a bit longer than it usually did, both of your footsteps slowly making its way down the cemented path to the dorms. You still had so many questions, yet no way of framing them without coming across as nosy. You wanted to know more about him, why was he in this lousy college town, why doesn't he remember where he's from, who are the others and why did he look so nervous mentioning them. But instead, you had to start small, not wanting to bring up troubling thoughts. 

“What was your last year awake?” 

“Hmmm…guess?” He smirks and looks down at you, his hands locked behind him, holding on to the bag of steak juice that was probably a bit warm now. 

“Okay, well you knew about the telephone but they weren't wireless… and your steak prices were unimaginably low, but your denim fashion is throwing me off…Hmmm…” 

“Was denim a thing recently?” 

“Well, theyve always been a thing but jean vest give off 80’s or 90’s…Thats not my answer though!”

He's squinting his eyes at you, trying to force a smile down. 

“19…7…1?” 

“Ooo, close. 1965.” 

“damn…But the jean vest?!” 

“It was outta sight! All the rebels were wearing it!” 

“But, you don't seem like the rebel type, you're too nice.” 

“I dont know about nice…” he rubs the back of his neck, “but someone like me has to blend in.” 

“Hmm…” 

“What about you?”

“What about me?” 

“Are you a rebel?” Kai looks at you amused with a smile, and it only grows as you heat up.

“G-god no! I'm not built for that lifestyle.” It was true, you were weird but all you ever did was follow the rules, anything that felt mildly risky, threw you out for a loop. 

He laughs and nods. 

“I'm like that too.” 

“Yeah right…” 

“No really! I've never been good at being “bad”…maybe that's why I couldnt…you know…” Hes referring to the moment back in the woods. 

“Oh, yeah well, thanks for that.” 

“No, um thank you.” He remembers the look of curiosity upon your face as he sucked on the steak, the way your mouth hung open and your eyebrows furrowed together, your eyes displayed different emotions at a grand speed, he wasn't sure if you once ever looked disgusted, and he was glad he didn't.  He never wanted to be at the receiving end of it. 

You took your keys out. Looking back at him, you had one more question to ask…

“Have you ever…killed someone?” He stares at you, once again the intensity of his stare grows, like back when you asked if there were more of him. 

“...not directly… Ive…fed on them before but they were already dead.” He whispers and he looks so ashamed. 

“You really shouldn't be so trusting…” he wouldn't look at you anymore, “there's no way of knowing someone could be truly dangerous.” 

“I feel like I can trust you at least, right?” you wanted to touch his hand, reaching forward to grab it, and when Kai sees the mess of dry blood on it and on your sweater sleeve he grimaces, but grabs it. 

“You should head in and wash this off.” His cold hands linger on yours for a moment before he bends down and kisses your palm gently, squeezing his eyes shut trying to fight off the smell of your blood and the steak’s. 

You can't fight the blush that comes to your cheeks, so instead you turn to unlock your door. Once opened you turn in hopes of locking in the image of the shining man you've met.

“Goodni-” But he's gone, leaving no trace of himself behind, just the lingering feeling of his mouth on your wrist. 

—- 

Waking up the next morning, replaying the dream of Kai biting your wrist instead of kissing it over and over again, confirmed that last night was not a dream and you did in fact meet a vampire. Now the question was, Where was he now? What was he doing? 

“Y/N! Come quick!” your roommate, Chaewon, yells, panic laced in her cry. 

Your hair was still wet from last night's shower, not having the energy to blow dry it, you had placed it in a messy bun. You untangle your hair now from the band, and walk into the living room. 

BREAKING NEWS: Diner worker and college student, Lee Anton, found dead this morning by diner manager. As of now, Davenport College is working closely with police. While the autopsy has come back as an unknown death, police are not ruling out homicide- 

“What?” you whisper. Chaewon is already hanging on to you, shaking at the proximity of it. You didn't know Chaewon all that well, saying polite greetings and exchanges was as far as you went and yet you couldn't help but hold on to her as someone knocked on your door. 

Shaking, you head over and crack the door. 

“Hey, this was at the front door of the building, it was addressed to you.” The RA looked down at his hands and you followed. 

In his hand, was the grey glitter liquid encased in the glass vial, with it came a note: 

Y/N L/N, forgetting this?

A/N: YOU MADE IT!!!! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!! Please let me know your thoughts! I'll most likely continue this cause vampire kai has my attention rn... but I am starting school up again soon so,,, WHO KNOWS?! it also depends if people liked it :'3. SO please let me know your thoughts, tell me you love it, tell me you hate it, either way tears will be spilled! - J

ps. still learning how Tumblr works so if my formatting looks funny...help...

[cdroloisms]

always absolutely fucking hilarious when sbiers in their self-righteous need to assert themselves as better than everyone else in the same way they've done since 2020 even when they're apparently 'out of the fandom' and consider the whole thing cringe and dead (skill issue, methinks) go all um acktually no one cared abt any of the lore except for c!sbi. like well for one thing i don't know of a c!sbi personally speaking i'd like for you to point out to me where character sleepy boys inc ever like, existed, because it certainly wasn't in any dream smp i watched like is there even a single moment where the four of them interact together alone??? and secondly, it's always reeeeeeally obvious when they mean this as a diss on The Other Side Of The Fandom (read, dream team and co) when two-thirds of the dream team just did nawt have any interest in being part of the 'main characters' in the first place and would much rather do their own thing and roleplay in ways that wouldn't get picked apart for ages on twitter dot com, and the other member of the dream team played a character so integral to the lore that even c!inniters will often name him before they name their own goddamn guy because they cannot keep his name out of their mouths (see, the meme i saw like literally just yesterday that boiled down to me, after learning the dream smp lore: i need to kill c!dream). like bro yall are c!inniters you're not fooling anyone you think that the entire story revolves around this one teenager being abused and then completely ignore the months of abuse that was shown on screen for us before exile. "c!sbi" like cmon now guys the ao3 pages are like, right there, we all know who ends up being the villain for ur sbi fanfic that has its foundations in a dynamic that literally never existed in canon.

like "no one cared about anyone's lore except for wilbur and tommy--" well yes they were in fact some of the main fucking characters. imagine someone going up to you and going "well no one cared about the lore in the star wars original trilogy except for luke and leia" like damn really?? (now imagine this same person trying to convince you that darth vader's role was unimportant, actually.) like yeah the dream smp involved a lot of separate storylines and each of those storylines might've had their own "main cast" of characters but i'm also not blind bro, the story that started at the start of the fucking server and the start of the fucking lore was ABSOLUTELY the "wilbur-dream-tommy" triangle that is, in fact, the story that the l'manburg revolution was built on and the story that remains the throughline literally until tommy and dream have their confrontation with a nuke coming down over their heads, something that the characters themselves acknowledge with the repetition of the idea of tommy and tubbo against dream. LIKE ALKJSDFKJSADF yeah bro there were main characters in the tommy-dream-wilbur story an that's also the story that people tended to be invested in in the beginning, to the point where even other self-contained stories in the dream smp absolutely referenced and emulated it (cough cough, las nevadas). like, why are we acting like it's at all groundbreaking for people to be invested in THEEE fucking story the one that first started to exist because at the time basically no one else was part of The Roleplaying Trio and then slowly got padded out and developed as the server developed more and more into the lore server?

and it's the fact that none of these people, too, would deny that they care about ex. c!schlatt in manberg, right, or c!quackity in relation to c!wilbur's deal, etc etc whatever. like breaking news you gaf about The Story as a dream smp fan wow am i supposed to be like, surprised. do you want a medal. LIKE LKJASDJF

[what-eats-owls]

It matters how you do it

I finished Dragon Age: The Veilguard and had some big feelings about it. Spoilers for basically everything under the cut, and frankly, it won't make sense unless you've finished the game anyway.

First of all: I had a blast with this game. I didn't find Act 1 slow, I did find Act 2 a bit of a whack-a-mole, and then Act 3 kicks you in the kidney (complementary) while insisting it's for your own good.

I've seen some recurring complaints: that it lacks depth/edge/darkness, that it abandons previous lore, that the previous choices don't matter. I don't entirely disagree. To me, it felt like a massive Dragon Age 4 game that pivoted to a different, tighter game after complaints about bloat in Inquisition. The key is that when editing down, there's such a thing as trying to trim the fat and taking a chunk of the roast with it.

I enjoy the concept of Lucanis's character, and the voice actor sold the hell out of him, but the storyline felt like being taken to a museum and allowed to see one (1) beautiful unfinished sculpture. Why did Spite, specifically, work? We know the spirit of Justice became Vengeance by abomination, we knew Solas was Wisdom before he became Pride, so what was Spite before, and why wasn't that tied to Lucanis's own personal arc? (Doubly so if you romance him!)

Similarly, Harding was a delight, and her greenhouse was such a lovely little haven. I would have loved to see more explanation of the connection between plants and the titans, and how Harding's own personal struggles with rage connected to that of the titans. She has every reason to be angry and scared, and the game tells us she pushed that away—but we don't actually see her toxic positivity manifest to that degree, until she abruptly has an angry clone.

On the flip side, I loved the other five character quests, and I felt they had solid, poignant arcs that delivered. I also adored their interactions with the codex—if anything, I wanted to see more of that type of interaction on the screen. You have to fill in a lot of the character work for Rook yourself; Rook has all these interesting potential backgrounds, but I think starting the game playing through those, a la Origins, would have gone miles towards establishing more personal stakes up front and made for a stronger start.

So that's all my nitpicking. But let's talk about the bigger theme: It matters how you do it.

In the first Fade conversation with Solas, he gets so mad when Rook refuses to let him DARVO them about the consequences of his botched ritual. This makes way more sense when you understand he's literally imprisoned by his own regrets, and he needs Rook to have that same kind of regret in order to take his place. His entire arc is about rationalizing binary choices and shitty actions that hurt others in the name of a hypothetical greater good that he wants.

Solas can't engineer every binary choice Rook's forced into, but he uses Varric to maximize Rook's regret. He is trying to quite literally mold Rook into him, and the game is great at presenting this both as a coldblooded manipulation and a broken plea for validation—if you let it. You don't have to give Solas a moment of consideration; you don't have to take time to view his memories, or kill his demons, or listen to those scraps of Mythal still holding onto the good in him. You don't have to do any of it.

But you can. And in the end, it matters.

It matters because for every companion, you can encourage them to either be more nurturing/compassionate or destructive/closed off versions of themselves, and that is frequently tied to continuing or breaking from a cycle. (The exception is either Neve or, presumably, Lucanis, who are forced into the Hardened version depending on which city you save.) These aren't presented as morally opposing choices, just who you want them to be. You can see how the Grey Wardens fucked up bad with griffons and decide they have a better place. You can help Emmrich face his fear by finding deeper meaning in life instead of indefinitely postponing death. You can help them do things differently.

So when you get to the final choice in the game, you may have two options: physically force Solas into saving the Veil, or trick him into it. The kind of binary choice Solas has molded you into making by pelting you with cruelty and manipulation.

Or, if you've taken the time, you can get him to understand he's wrong. You bring out the people who saw the best in him and speak to what he's had to endure, even as you're showing him there's another way. You reach him not as Pride, but as Wisdom. And he goes willingly.

Ultimately, I think DA2 and Inquisition grappled with big questions of oppression and violence, faith and authority. It makes sense for those games to delve into harder, uglier subject matter, and ask you to make binary calls.

But my read of Veilguard is that, at its core, it's about how those decisions are meant to trap you in regret at best, and numb you to rationalizing cruelty at worst. It's why the companion who loses their home city becomes colder, more isolated, in response—more like Solas.

That's why it offers you a third way at the very end, but only if you've worked for it. A better way is possible, yet it has to be more than words. You have to understand where the pain comes from, what maintains and is being maintained by the current cycle. Then, and only then, can you break it.

I can't wait to play it again.

P.S. Utterly obsessed with the Trevisan fish merchant.

[cloveroctobers]

HOLD UP — Roman Reigns x black! Reader

A/N: not me attempting to write for this man and I’m supposed to be on a writing break?? I had a storyline in my head, heard this song from my girl (finally), and I’m about to go on a SWAT binge-watch once this season is over so that’s my excuse for all of this. Hope you have your popcorn ready!

WARNINGS: language, famous reader, slight cross-over with another show hence the tags, hint of toxicity, infidelity, crime, + me not knowing much about wrestling or S.W.A.T. but winging it! It’s only fiction!!! 😉

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊

“You know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!” You yelled, smacking the food that was already prepared right towards where Roman stood.

It didn’t have to be like this.

What could have been a great normal Saturday evening, turned for the worse all because a man, who was supposed to be your man turned around and played you. How? By sleeping with the “friend,” (turned assistant) he told you not to worry about. You were just getting into a pretty solid choreo to Beyonce’s, “Tyrant,” over a steaming pot with the headphones blasting into your ears when your phone started going off more than your version of usual.

It was to the point you were ready to put it on Do Not Disturb but your gut told you to get into it. Sure it could have been anybody: your family, your manager, publicist, or even some friends…in this case? It happened to be the whole damn universe.

The headlines is what really got you:

“Entrepreneur Tribal Chief Roman Reigns Sex-Tape Leaked!”

Along with the shady subtitles underneath: The multi-business owner’s intimate moments at what seems to be one of his places of business the casino half hotel: “The Medallion,” have been leaked! By the looks of it, it doesn’t appear that the woman in the video shares any resemblance to girlfriend and actress…but does look a whole lot like his personal assistant Celosia “Losi,” Darlington. Perhaps they aren’t as secure in their relationship as actress…claims! See below for the steamy video.

At first you didn’t want to believe it, firmly wanting for your girl delulu to kick in but unfortunately you knew this time you could believe the headlines. The declined calls you had to keep hitting as you took a breath to just play the video. You had to see with your own eyes what had been done, it’s always about actions more than word of mouth and Roman showed you exactly who he was.

A no good piece of shit.

You met him back in ‘13 after taking on an action role, which would be filmed at the newly built casino: The Medallion. That same place of business that always got him into some shit—yet he always knew how to polish everything up so nicely regardless of any heat that went his way. Of course there was some attraction that formed over the six months of filming although he didn’t have a major role on screen versus behind it, his presence was surely felt. It took two years after that at the premiere of another film of yours for any relationship besides professional to form and sometimes you wished you would have stayed away.

This was one of those times.

To be in a relationship since mid 2015–minus the minor breakups just for it all to truly crumble now was the biggest punch in the face. And you may not be one of his Bloodline fighters but you were sure about to hand him one.

When he enters the house, not long after you’ve been going into a deep dive of everything from watching the video to various gossip websites and landing on Twitter of all places, you place the phone down face up as you rest your hands on the island counter. He pecks your cheek multiple times as he holds your hip, not picking up on the tension just yet before he takes a place on the other side of the island. Your jaw was set as you used the sleeve to wipe his kisses from your skin, eyes burning flames at the clueless man across from you.

“Smells good as hell in here. How was your day?” Is the first thing he says, finally looking up from his phone.

And you can’t help but to scoff at this, “it was going well baby, until I found out that you and your dick went swimming at The Medallion.”

Which lead to a heated stare from Roman, “…What’re you talking about?”

“Stop being stupid, Joe! Unless you can’t help it. Everybody knows including me! Y’all played in my face for who knows how long and you thought coming in here all regular was gonna be cool?” The pointer and thumb finger were jabbed right in his direction as you spoke before you were gripping the island so tight, it should have snapped but only quality was allowed in this house.

Roman kept his face straight as he clips, “I think you should start with watching your tone and talk to me with some sense.”

“Why? When you don’t have any?” Your head was tilted to the side, just begging for him not to continue to get smart with you because things will start to fly in a minute if he kept it up.

His big ass included.

Roman clenched his eyes shut in frustration before replying, “i honestly don’t know what you’re talking about, so please feel free to enlighten me.”

Humorless laughter bubbled past your lips as you decided to play this game just for a bit, “honestly, when’s the last time you saw Losi?”

His shoulders lifts, “a day or two ago. She’s taking personal time off, why?”

“Sure she is! Right on time for everything to unfold like the messy bitch that I told you she is.” You exclaim with your hands up in the air, “was this y’all plan all along? To humiliate me?”

As the silence filled the kitchen, it was shortly interrupted by the vibrating of your phone which rattled on the counter and finally the pinging from Roman’s own phone. A quick glance Roman sends to the device, it was a simple text from Losi herself which read: “I’m so sorry ro!”

He’s truthfully had a blind eye to what has been happening. Roman’s been back and forth between the casino and the ring along with a few meetings in between that he barely looked at his phone until he walked through his home’s front doors. There’s a furrow of his brows then at Losi’s text but it doesn’t take him long to figure it out when he thinks back to the accusations that you previously just thrown in his face combined with your attitude.

Your head was still tilted as you cooed with petty intent, “Uh oh…doesn’t look like there’s a smile on your face now when reading anything Losi says.”

Roman runs his hands down his face in exhaustion and guilt. When he opens his eyes, yours are still glaring at him. This conversation was going to be bad tonight whether he wanted to have it or not. He made this bed so now he had to lay in it.

“Babe—

“Na uh! Don’t start that shit now because you’ve been caught.” You held your hand up in the air, “Weren’t you the one who told me that you didn’t want to fuck her? Then you went and did it! When?!”

Roman runs his tongue over his bottom lip and bites down on it, “I don’t even—a few weeks ago? It didn’t mean shit though and I want you to know that. I don’t and won’t ever love her the way that I love you. I fucked up and i can admit that.”

If this was love then this man can keep that shit forever. Never did you ever think at this point in your relationship that the downfall would be Roman’s attention turning to another woman for a night.

“You can? Were you ever going to if this didn’t come out? You’ve been sitting on this for weeks and she’s been smiling in my face and more chatty—ohhh.” You knocked your finger into the air in realization, “she’s been plotting on this moment.”

Roman blinks with a shake of his head, “what? No.”

“You let the balloon stuffed booty fool you, baby.” You clapped, “along with the cute shy office siren thing she had going on the outside. I been knew she was feeling you and I couldn’t be mad at that! I knew what I had. As long as she didn’t try anything but it only took a year for you to fold right when everything was falling into place.”

He had another personal assistant who’s been working for him since The medallion began to stay consistent in flourishing, Ms. Charlene, who was older in her mid-fifties and actually good friends with your aunt. She was probably the best one Roman was ever going to get but she decided to retire early? And moved all the way out to Liberia but still did her original role as a tax preparer on the side but you didn’t hear that from me—your narrator.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it, joe. The gym just had its successful grand opening after its bombing a month ago, you just announced that you were expanding the medallion to be worldwide with plans of doing the same for Bloodline. I’m hosting the Tony awards, you’re planning to propose, and Losi is trying to start her own business by creating some plant spa, which gives her just enough motive to leak the tape so she’s financially taken care of while we’re here looking dumb as fuck.” You deeply exhale while Roman pressed his tongue into his cheek in thought.

He didn’t want to believe that either but one thing about you? Your mind was always going and connecting the dots. He knew that there was something about Losi that you didn’t rock with and he didn’t see. When it came to his businesses he wanted to be the only one running things and sure he never wanted to make you uncomfortable yet he and Losi went way back and her resume was top notch. Overall Roman believed that the two of you could just coexist at some point, although Losi put in more effort to be friendly with you, you weren’t feeling it.

Ultimately you had to agree to disagree on the subject. It wasn’t a big problem until it unfortunately became one of course. He didn’t have the ring and it’s been in the works since last year but he knew what he wanted it to look like based on your preferences and kept the sketch secured and out of sight…so he thought.

He knew he wanted forever with you but he allowed himself to get stupefied by someone he thought was a friend and should have stayed in that place.

“Nah Lo’s not like that, she’s a good girl.”

Roman didn’t know if he believed that himself anymore but it still came out of his mouth.

You felt your eye twitch, “you keep telling yourself that and that’s probably what you praised her with when you were hitting it from behind too right?”

“Relax,” his stare is hard from underneath his eyelashes, as if he’s attempting to command you in doing so, “I didn’t know she was filming us, Alright?”

That much you could tell.

“Yeah okay, so that makes it better?!”

“No it doesn’t! And I’m aware of that. I want to marry you which you somehow know—

“Then why do this to me? To us?! We were doing so well and came so far just for you to ruin it all like this was for nothing.” You tried to focus on your breathing but from Roman’s stance he could see that it was more of a panting from you, to keep from crying.

The last thing you wanted was for him to comfort you but he did find himself reaching his hand out some over the island, just in case. He hated that this was happening, that he was causing you pain and not the fact that this was biting him in the ass, he knew what he had done and had to pay the price, he could take that but he didn’t like the twist in his chest at the sight of your anger, your pain, yet he didn’t really have a reason to justify this. There was no justifying the infidelity or the past gaslighting of your concerns you expressed once Losi came along. You had dreams and took that as a sign just as much of what you witnessed in person. Roman would always reassure that it was just your mind lying to you and being paranoid until he proved everything to be true.

“It’s not for nothing…we’ve been through so much shit together that we can get through this too.” Roman states with determination in his eyes, “I don’t know what exactly you want to hear from me but I’m telling you that choice I made that night meant nothing. It happened once, I was on one that night, should have known better than to let my guard down and I told her we won’t ever do that shit again because I’m in love with you. I need you.”

It was your turn to bite down on your lips and nod your head, “that sounds nice, really but there’s no way you expect me to just leap back into your arms just because you’re looking at me that and all the sweet nothings you hand over will magically make this okay when it most likely won’t be.”

He swallows, “What are you saying?”

“Look around! You can’t have that much trust in her to believe this wasn’t calculated can you? I mean you trusted her enough to not let your hot steamy night get out but look where that got you. A tape! You had that girl in my face, in this house, trying to get us to be besties long before and this is what y’all go and do? The disrespect is so real so…you know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!”

Roman dips in his head in understanding, even if he has to make a jump back from the plates of sides that are sent his way but that doesn’t mean he has to take it. “I get that you’re in your feelings but I’m telling you right now, I’m not gonna take any more of you talking crazy to me tonight. It’s been a long day.”

“Excuse me?!” Your brows are raised, “I’ll call you every name until the sun comes back if it makes me feel better—

“But that’s the thing, it won’t so why waste your breath?” His chin is raised in such arrogance.

It’s your turn to be wide eyed now. Did Roman expect you to just not react like he was good at doing? You studied him then, noticing how stoic he was but his eyes said different before he tightened his stare. He was letting his ego come out to play and that was a dangerous game.

“Hmm let’s see what will? Should I dump this gumbo right in your face? Mess your precious house up? Or get in touch with Jey to see if he has any insight to how quickly the success of Bloodline got back up and running. He’s been quiet since the grand opening and that’s not like our boy.” The smirk on your face was enough to get Roman to charge over to you and get in your face.

Jey was family, always would be no matter how ugly the business got. First it was his twin, Jimmy who Roman kicked out and you knew Jey was feeling not only a way about that but also Roman’s big headed authority. It was only a matter of time before Jey stepped down and you knew it was coming based on conversations you had. Roman also had a feeling that you knew more than what you were saying and withholding information was a huge negative, although you weren’t part of the business you would be if you took that title of being Roman’s wife.

You stared up at Roman sweetly while he pressed his forehead harshly into yours, “you don’t scare me and you don’t want to ever cross me, love of my life or not.”

Running your hands up Roman’s clenched torso and up over his biceps to grip his shoulders tightly you say, “well…this old love of your life, is about to show you just how much you’re gonna lose and I know how much you hate to lose.”

He squeezes your neck pulling you so that you’re nose to nose, “if that’s how you want to play, then you better not miss.”

“Great talk, baby. Now let go.” Her nails dig into his shoulder blades while it’s Roman’s turn to tighten his jaw.

Eventually he lets go, running a palm over his mouth as you get back to breathing although your insides want to ache but you numb it down. You crack your knuckles before reaching forward to wipe the crumbs off the counter into the sink and turn to leave but not without glancing at the contents on the floor.

“Hey, I think I would have loved being your wife but the world is always turning right? Better luck next time I guess.” You shrug your shoulders, “and you might want to clean that up before you get some ants that look like Losi. See you soon, Joe.” You explain with a cold wink that reminds the man to breathe after you leave the home for good.

Roman didn’t know what he was going to do just yet or what you had in mind but for right now, he had to sit on his loneliness over a meal that you prepared which he didn’t get to share with you at the end of the table this time around.

[2 weeks later…]

The saying April showers brings May flowers could apply here, depending on how you looked at it. It was difficult being back in your own space, once sharing it with the Cane Corso, “Atonga,” that Roman gifted to you last year for your birthday and what you sent back days after you left his house. You were ready to send everything back (or donate) but Roman wasnt having that, anything that got sent back to his place or his businesses he redirected most to your parents with the power for it not to be sent anywhere else.

As for Atonga, he was waiting for you on your doorstep one morning with a simple message attached: he’s closer to his mom.

The gift of Atonga was for protection and you built a strong bond with the dog, overall you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the boy so you didn’t put up much of a fight when it came to him. As for the outside noise? The paparazzi followed your every move even more so now, you didn’t keep your head down but you kept it on mute with every outing. You didn’t need the advice of your publicist on what to do because regardless you had your own media training due to previous work and would ultimately do what you felt.

You didn’t have to offer the world a damn thing.

Your relationship with Roman was one of the most trendiest relationships to talk about and it was killing them not to know much more of what was going on. However Roman gave some crumbs on the recent interview he was on and spoke some with the paps that followed him around but it was enough for people to speculate you have broken up again.

A relationship that had so many sides to it was stuck on being face up at this time.

Over these two weeks you weren’t cooped up in the house crying over this mess, you got to deep cleaning, self-care appointments: nails done, hair done, everything did, spent time in the gym mostly with a personal trainer that Roman never cared for but he mercilessly stopped responding to your meeting requests after the second day, which left you to train with the twins and Naomi instead, and being in the club with the widest of smiles.

After all that you were slowly getting back into work. Thankfully your manager agreed to put a pause on the work load until you were ready, where you got the outline on paper on how award shows were meant to run, then you would make the trip in a few weeks to see how the stage was in person.

“YO,” Jey calls out your name from downstairs, his voice echoing all throughout the house that you forgot he was even still here. Probably eating up all your food while watching ghetto ass Tubi or BMF—they were the same thing honestly.

Getting so wrapped up in the outline, you push yourself off your bed and head out into the hall and call back, “what I tell you about using your outside voice in my house, jey?!”

The barking that sounded as you got to the steps made you frown, actually making you put more speed in your steps as you went down them. When you peered up on the second to the last step, you spotted a familiar face standing at the front entrance of your home while Jey stood off to the side holding Atonga back.

There stood Miguel Alfaro, a ex-boyfriend of yours who sported his dark SWAT attire.

“You got company,” Jey muttered as he eyed the pale buzzed hair guy.

Deeply exhaling you step down and make your way over to the men and fold your arms, “Miguel, what’re you doing here?”

“Can’t be anything good,” Jey adds while he continues holding Atonga by his collar.

Miguel blinks at him and then the dog, “Mind if you put him away so I can have a civil conversation?”

Jey sucked air between his teeth with a grin, “oh this little guy? He’s a sweetheart.”

Miguel raises his brows in disbelief, one hand that was resting on his waist moved to where his firearm was, which the two of you noticed. Jey met your eyes and with a nod of your head, he quickly pulls the dog away to one of the guest rooms for a moment before making his way back.

“You don’t look that happy to see me,” Miguel attempts to joke with a raise of his hands, “that kinda hurts my feelings.”

Lifting your shoulders you reply, “I can’t say the expression on my face would be any different if you didn’t have that monkey suit on but—

Jey snorts out a laugh, which he clears his throat afterwards once Miguel sends him a sharp look before Miguel turns his attention back to you.

Miguel shortly exhaled through his nostrils, “Right, this suit is actually doing you a favor so I’d be a little more thankful.”

“Whatchu mean by that?” Jey clasps his own hands in front of him, defense mode was activated now.

You exhale, “Miguel, I don’t have time for this push and pull shit you commonly like to do, so just spit it out so you can get out my house.”

“I see your attitude still hasn’t changed. I thought we squashed our beef and it was all love?” Miguel’s mockery was still there and highly irritating.

Tilting your head to the side you cackle, “was that before or after you trashed my character to the tabloids over a little relationship when we were what? Eighteen?”

Miguel frowns, “I wouldn’t call my first serious relationship of three years to be little. Which is why I said what I said, if things don’t benefit you then you couldn’t care less. Maybe that’s why Roman did what he did and you didn’t give enough.”

“You don’t know me you spineless bitch!” And you stepped to him but an arm goes right across your torso from Jey before he shields you completely from Miguel.

Jey shakes his head while Miguel breathed out a laugh as he pinches at his straight nose, “I think you should stop instigatin’ and just say what you need to say, bro.”

“That’s officer to you, bro.” Miguel clarifies with a sharp stare but Jey just mockingly nods his head back and forth.

“My fault, officer pig.”

You grip Jey’s wrist and move to stand beside him, meeting his eyes to show him that this was mainly your problem not his.

Miguel ran his tongue over his teeth in annoyance but to your surprise he takes the higher road, “you’re right, I apologize.” He starts but directs that apology mostly at you, “I didn’t come here to start shit, I truthfully came to tell you something that’ll benefit—that’ll be useful to you.”

Clapping your hands together you rolled your hands about, awaiting for him to just say what needed to be said since he first opened his mouth to you.

“It’s Roman.”

Both you and Jey felt your blood run cold at this.

Miguel flicks his eyes from the both of you as he says his next words, “He’s been out in Florida this past week and recently made a purchase on a building to potentially expand either The Medallion or Bloodline. Miami’s team been watching him since he’s touched down in their city but a major red flag went off after recent events.”

Both you and Jey shoot confused glances at each other.

“Don’t tell me you two aren’t aware that Celosia Darlington was found dead yesterday night off route 41?” He deeply scans their faces for any changes in their expressions, “It appears that she was in a hit and run accident, she was thrown from behind off her motorcycle and it’s being investigated by my team.”

Jey has his eyes in slits, “and you think Roman had something to do with it? You just said he was in Florida when this happened.”

“Correct, yet a vehicle registered to him was found on surveillance…which leaves us to believe that he knows what happened and who was driving his vehicle.” His eyes lingers on you for some time before carrying on, “Also the building he purchased in Miami belonged to Celosia’s step-brother, who has been missing since March.”

Massaging the space in between your brows you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “What does Celosia’s step-brother have to do with Roman?”

“Roman loaned Celosia’s step-brother the funds to purchase that exact building back in January and her step-brother has a history of money-laundering.”

“Fuck.” Jey hisses.

This was bad, real bad.

Roman wouldn’t just loan a large amount of money without purpose, especially to someone he couldn’t trust. If he did this for Celosia’s step-brother, there had to be a reason and if he was missing? Then things really were turning to shit and it’s possible that Roman had something to do with it. However you and Jey both would never reveal that.

Miguel continues, “He’s been arrested and flown in to us. And I’m here to let you know that you’re also being suspected. The team will be here in the next fifteen so…that’s just a tip from me to you.”

“Why are you looking out for me?” You suddenly ask.

“Because believe it or not, I really loved you once upon a time,” Miguel disclosed with a soft sigh, “I want you to win and don’t want to see you get hurt any further. Especially if it’s at the cost of a grown ass business man who goes by: The tribal chief.”

“Aye, watch yourself. You’re not part of what we got going on, so you wouldn’t get it.” Jey warns while Miguel raises a hand in surrender, although he wants to laugh in the bronzed skinned man’s face, thrilled he could return the favor of striking a nerve.

Miguel looks at you one last time affirming, “fifteen minutes.”

“Fifteen minutes.” You dip your head, “Thanks, Miguel.”

“Ah, don’t mention it.” He winks, “but also don’t forget it.”

Which makes you roll your eyes although a small smile appears on your lips which Miguel mirrors with a crooked one. Jey breaks that up real quick, waving the swat member towards the door, followed by a forceful close of the door after Miguel takes his sweet time whistling along and eyeing the downstairs of the home.

Jey blows out a breath, “I see your type is assholes.”

“Jey, now is not the time.”

“I know sis.” Jey grips the back of his neck feeling some stress coming on, “I think I need to slide, hit up Jimmy, Sikoa and check on bloodlines where the rest of the family is most likely at.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t be here when they get here but please be careful…they’ll probably be on all of our asses now.”

Jey nods and steps forward to grip the side of your neck and place a kiss to your forehead while you hold your hand on top of his. “Can I take Atonga with me?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to steal my dog.”

“What can I say? Everybody loves uncle Jey!” He pops his collar with a grin while you fan your hand at him as a signal for him to do so.

Fifteen minutes gives you enough time to set a timer, change from lounge clothes to another set, have a cup of raspberry lemonade, and have your bag near by ready to go once that knock came at your door. You kept offline because you’re sure anything you did up to the time swat came to your door, would be monitored.

You kept calm as those fifteen minutes came around quickly and took your time getting to the door once the harsh knocks sounded. Turning the tv down, you take some seconds before getting to your feet, remote still in hand as you head to the front door, eyes fixated on the tv as you pull the door open.

Turning to the familiar three faces you meet each of their eyes in faux surprise, “Hondo, Deacon, Tan? I’d say it’s good to see you but I’m sensing this isn’t a friendly visit.”

Hondo dips his head to confirm that as he says your name, “hey…we’re gonna need you to come with us.”

You blink, “okay…and it takes three of you to do that?”

“It’s a special situation,” Deacon tells, “involving your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend? Roman Reigns and his personal assistant Celosia Darlington who was murdered last night.”

They all watch your face at this news.

Sucking in your cheeks you answer, “Well…I guess you’re right then, it is a special situation.”

Tan and Deacon share a glance at your words.

“Target the people that had the most interactions with the deceased.” You nod.

Hondo tries to ease how this appears to make it sound better but he knows you’re smarter than to believe his attempt to smooth over the truth of your words.

Tan is the one to speak next, “You know it’s nothing personal and how this goes.”

You give a tight lipped smile, “right so…which one of you is going to watch me grab my bag or…do one of you want to grab it for me?”

How did you have ties to SWAT? Your father was part of a team out in Long Beach back where you grew up and did some work with the twenty division in his remaining years before a serious injury left him paralyzed ending his career. You ended up following in his footsteps at twenty-one, working for the LAPD and working your way into the S.W.A.T. field before you gave that up to…you guessed it! be a full-time actress once you caught your big break.

And sure they still liked to give you shit for “abandoning,” them but it was evident that’s not where your heart laid, although you proved how big of an asset you were for the short time you were part of S.W.A.T..

“You’re not being charged with anything so that’s not necessary.” Hondo states with a hand for you do so.

Tan mutters, “Yet.”

Which earns him a warning glance from Hondo while Deacon does in fact, keep his eyes on you. You’re turning off the tv, reaching for your bag, then heading back to the front door, and hold up a finger to step back and grab your keys off the side table by the door. They give you time to lock up your home before you follow them to the charger.

You’re quiet on the ride to headquarters and the men aren’t sure what to make of that but they decide to not press you on the ride.

There would be enough of that once you’re in the questioning room.

Holding onto the strap of your bag, your eyes are looking all around the building seeing how much has changed and what hasn’t. There’s mostly new faces that already made up their minds as they eye you on your way by.

Guilty.

When you see Roman in passing, in handcuffs being lead in the opposite direction by the commander, it feels like many films you shot before with this moment being in slow motion. Roman can’t take his eyes off you and you see just how everything was taking a toll on him. He may appear collected to everyone else but you saw the stress underneath his eyes, along with the longing for you in them and how his hair was left hanging instead of neatly slicked back into a bun.

You don’t owe him any comfort but you’re not sure if you want to see him suffer either. When you love someone, that means you open up your heart but what happens when you open it up too far and that person leaves it badly bruised?

Start looking out for yourself and hold your own, that’s what.

Shifting your head, you carry on as Roman is almost breaking his neck watching you leave from his sight yet again. He was waiting on his lawyer and had nothing else to say, which meant he was being sent right back to the holding cell while it was your turn to speak your peace.

“Colombian?” You quiz Tan who slides a mug your way with a plastic cup full of ice on the side.

Tan is half sarcastic and half joking, “only the best for our superstar.”

You snicker, knowing just how to get underneath his skin for simply existing before he leaves you alone with Hondo.

“Given the circumstances, you can already guess why you’re here.” He starts as he watches you carefully plunk the ice cubes into the mug before using your pinky finger to spin the contents together.

You sip at the homemade iced coffee, “Losi’s been murdered and the sex tape she made with my—Roman was leaked. Did anyone find out if she was behind it?”

“We can confirm that she was and was supposed to receive $25,000 for it but only received $10,000.” Hondo responds with his hands clasped on top of a folder.

You snort, “tough titties.”

“How so?”

“It’s evident that she was money hungry.” You notify, “I don’t get involved in Roman’s businesses but I know he had to be giving her a good amount since he didn’t have a separate assistant—that I know of—to take care of the gym business. Bloodline has much more value to him than the casino.”

“Right…because he comes from a family full of fighters except for his mother.”

“Yup.” You answer and add more sugar, stir, wipe your finger clean on a near by napkin and take another sip.

Hondo opens the folder and spins it to face you before spreading the crime scene photos along, “Was the money the last straw for you? Enough to make you so angry to chase Celosia down the freeway, run her down, get out the car, and finish her off with specific shots to the body: one to the Radial Artery as she pleaded for her life, one to the Aorta, and right to the head to end it all? Did it make you feel any better?”

You swallowed the coffee as you looked away from the photos to meet the bald man in front of you, “It’s real tiring, hearing how everyone dictates how I should feel or questioning how I am feeling because of some shit someone else did. I get by and no I wasn’t expecting to hear how tragically Losi’s life ended, yet I can’t say I’ll shed a tear for a snake.”

“A snake that also asked you for money over the phone after the tape got leaked and you laughed at her.”

You lifted your shoulders not bothered that they knew this information, “what else was I supposed to do? I didn’t owe that girl a damn thing after she slept with my man.”

“Then you killed her.”

You stare up at the ceiling in frustration thinking about how it was once upon a time on the other side, “I’ve played a criminal in a few movies, doesn’t mean I am one in real life.”

Hondo pushes his lips out with a shrug of his shoulders, “Sure but you’re also dating a crime boss.”

You laugh, “Hondo, are you forreal? No. Innocent until proven guilty.”

“You’re still covering for him.” Hondo sighed with disappointment, “we know that both the medallion and bloodline partly stands for some underground organized crime and if we can’t get Roman for the murder of Celosia then he’s going down for the disappearance and presumed murder of her step-brother. Along with drug-trafficking, aggravated assault, and conspiring to commit money laundering. When he goes down, so will everyone else involved with him.”

You nod, “that’s the thing…I’m not involved with him anymore and I don’t have any clue about any of what you just mentioned. I’m also innocent.”

“Bullshit!” Hondo slams his hands down on the table, “you know, I’d hate to see everything you worked so hard for go right in the trash because of someone like him. I thought you let go of Swat to have a different safe life but you’re in just as deep. On the wrong got damned side! Are you sure Roman ever loved you because if he did? You wouldn’t be sitting here.”

Those words had weight especially training underneath Hondo. It stung but one can’t forget, you were also part of this team not too long ago, so you would never show just how much it did.

“Hondo…are you charging me or am I free to go?”

Funny, Roman said the same thing pretty fast with the request to call a lawyer and they had more on him than on you.

“I think you should keep that seat warm a little longer and I’ll be back.” Hondo advises with a stern look before he scrapes his chair back to exit the room.

In the quiet you sit, one hand on the cup of coffee while the other rests on your lap. It’s parallel to Roman who sits in the cell, elbows buried in his knees as his wavy hair curtains his face. He couldn’t believe he was here, how everything was slowly crumbling all because of a screw up, although he’s had many voices tell him before that everything would catch up to him at some point.

He didn’t think he’d see the day, not when he was just getting started. It was just like you said, he wasn’t good at taking any loss and he hasn’t yet. If he had to lose it all then he was damn sure determined to build it back up again with his bare hands if he had to. And every king needed its queen no matter which way she decides to play her own cards.

Roman’s played defense before and his queen wanted to be offense. There became more than one head of the table (secretly) when he met you so perhaps now was the chance for you to make some shots, not all.

Lifting his head, he closes his eyes and cracks his neck before clasping his hands together.

And he waited.

The door behind you opens, revealing heavy footsteps that tap rather than clunk as they make their way around the table. A small smile forms on your lips at the rim of the mug as you swallow, lowering the cup back to the table.

The man in the tan suit chooses to sit on the edge of the table and sends you his award winning smile as he says your name in greeting.

“Rock,” you address the burly man, “what took you so fucking long?”

His body lifts in laughter, “I’m a busy man lady but I always make time for family.”

Which lets you know he’s made a visit to the bloodlines first. You didn’t call him but you knew who did.

“So how can I help?”

“Can you go back and make joe not stick his dick in Losi?”

Rock exhales, “wish I could but you and I both know that was a Roman move not Joe.”

Which you already had time to think over. You had your own stage name and persona you had to put out into the world. Except you didn’t do too much in the public where it’ll reflect badly on who you were behind closed doors.

“I know,” you breathe out reaching over to rest your hand right on top of Rock’s who turns his own to squeeze yours warmly, “doesn’t make it hurt any less though.”

He pats your hand with his other, “we’ll get through this, we always do. Just hold on.”

“Always do, my grip is vice.” You wink while Rock nods his head, getting back to his feet.

“So I’ve heard, and that’s why you’ll always classify as a bloodline and if you ever want a career change—

You snort, “ha! I think I’ll choose early retirement before I change anything else.”

“Hold up, what’re you?! Thirty-one? You’ve got more fight in you than you say, this I see. So c’mon and continue to give ‘em hell so that they’ll never underestimate what the vice is all about.” He rests a free hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze before the door is pushed open, revealing Hondo and Deacon.

Rock fixes his suit jacket, “my client and I are finished here.”

“Wait a minute, aren’t you going to stick around for further questions?” Deacon’s eyes are in slits, clearly finding this suspicious.

Rock sends them his beaming smile, “you must have forgotten how well she’s capable of handling herself. You have nothing on her and all of this is just theories. I give you the next thirty to forty-five minutes to release my client and if you’re not done by then, I’ll remove her myself.”

“You have no authority here.” Hondo bites.

Rock’s smile never falters although a brow threatens to arch, “ah, so you haven’t checked my credentials yet…huge error on your part don’t you think? Gentleman.” He bids his farewell and Deacon follows him out with a clenched jaw.

Hondo turns back to you, resting his hands on the cool table as he leans towards you, “the hell are you all playing at?”

Wiggling your fingers in the air you sit back against the chair, “I’m just an actress.”

“Yeah…well we’ll see how good of an actress you really are.” Hondo snaps as he begins pacing before folding his arms, “now start talking, from the point you found out about the tape.”

Rock got a head start away from Deacon, sneaking his way into the holding area which is empty besides the person he’s looking for. He’s whistling now, shades covering his eyes as he strolls through the quiet area. He knows he has to be quick but he also knows that Deacon has lost sight of him. Rock makes his way over to the cell, still whistling as he spins, pressing his elbow against the cell before tossing his arm back with a white slip in Roman’s direction.

“Uce,” is all rock says before he circles back around, still whistling and then exits back out of the area unseen…well that’s until they look at the cameras later.

Roman waits for Rock to leave his sight before he pushes up to his feet, walks to the space where the white paper is resting, covering it with his foot before he shuffles all the way back to the bench. Once seated, he bends an arm down to pick at the edge of paper underneath his shoe and carefully unravels it.

His eyes quickly peers over the words and a smirk appears on his lips.

Offense: 1

S.W.A.T.: 0

Defense: ?

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ