#I want to read more about the new instincts
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âYaâ want me to touch yaâ like that?â
(Rivals) Declan OâHara x Reader
Suggestion by my dearest Miranonđ©· / A budding author, you are introduced to Declan OâHara by your friend Lizzie, and realise your new book has a profound effectâŠ
18+ FANFIC / SUPER SMUT! Finally some more Declan! Super long, Iâm so sorry. Reader character aged at 21. As always, request what you wanna see in my asks đ
âBloody hell.â Lizzie Vereker remarks, flipping through pages of your first ever publication. âThis is⊠this is porn!â She speaks through a flustered grin. âOh God, Lizzie. Donât say that.â You roll your eyes and tut, anxiously chomping at your fingernails as you intently read her expression. It had been 2 weeks since you had published your first book â something of an erotica. You had recently been taken on by Angler Publishing, Lizzieâs agent. Something to be overjoyed about, but you couldnât help but be frightened about the public reaction you were to receive.
âWell, I can tell you, it has been quite the hit in Rutshire. Iâve handed out a copy to quite literally everybody Iâve met.â Your foxy-haired companion informed you. A wry smile painted your face, half-petrified by the thought of an entire village dispassionately flicking through your novel. âWell, letâs hope it goes down well.â You sigh.
-
Declan OâHara, recently unemployed and hopelessly bored, was sat in his arm chair. Lighting a cigarette and huffing out the biggest exhale manageable, he picked up the novel that Lizzie has passed to him in the village shop earlier that week. âWhat a load of shite.â He quipped to himself as he scanned over the title. Starting the book from halfway through, he happened to land upon one of your more risquĂ© chapters â detailing the most erotic and fantastical scenes. Reaching down to adjust his growing bulge, Declan groaned and spoke into the air, âFuck me, sheâs a dirty girl. Mind of filth.â
It had been a while since heâd been intimate â Maud had took off a few months ago now, with no contact or intention of returning. He was a red-blooded mammal with a carnal instinct, he needed to get his release sooner or later, and it wasnât going to be over a fucking book. He arose from his chair, closing the book and camouflaging it within his bookshelf. A short snap of the letterbox irritated his ears as he began to stride towards the front door. âThe fuck is this?â He asked to himself, bending down to retrieve the small, glossy leaflet that had been pushed through his door. The leaflet advertised your book signing, with a guest appearance from established author Lizzie Vereker herself. âFuck that.â He rolled his eyes, balling up the leaflet between his palms and tossing it into the paper bin.
-
âWill anyone actually come?â You ask as you watch Lizzie, frantically laying out pens and copies of your book on a fold-up table, carefully prepared outside of the village hall. âOf course!â She lies, wiping sweat from her brow with the back of her arm. Lizzie desperately wanted you to succeed and had personally posted a leaflet through every house door in Rutshire. Whether anyone actually turned up, however, was a different story entirely.
Declan, an ever pessimistic look engrained on his face, began to trudge past the stoned driveway of the village hall, furiously puffing on a cigarette and muttering to himself. âDeclan! Declan!â Lizzie began to call, and you immediately rested your head in your hands â today was going to be mortifying. The moustached man appeared to ignore her, but Lizzie would not give up. âCome on Declan, come on Declan.â She shouted, waving him over with every word. The man muttered to himself once more, turned on his heels, and began to walk towards your crudely prepared desk. âHello, Miss Vereker. How can I help âya today?â He asked, feigning friendliness. You took a quick glance at the man and immediately regretted it. Darkened chocolate hair, rather tedious tweed outfit⊠but an incredibly intoxicating face. âThis is my friend,â Lizzie begins to introduce you, but you chime in with your name and give Declan a small wave, to which he shoots you a small smile.
âI gave you her novel the other day. Did you get a chance to read it?â She asked, speaking in a hushed tone in order to avoid embarrassment.. she knew the answer would most definitely be a no. âI did, actually. I flicked through it last night.â Declan replied, raking a hand over his curled hair. Lizzie looked at you with wildly optimistic eyes, to which you nervously grinned. âWh-what did you think?â You peeped, clearing your throat immediately after. âYouâre quite the little minx, arenât yaâ?â He smirked down at you, avoiding Lizzieâs unsettlingly persistent eye contact. Blushing wildly, you giggle and pick up a novel from the top of your almost-toppling pile. âCare for a signed copy?â You ask, a sanguine smile controlling your mouth. Declan scratched at his beard hesitantly and exhaled thunderously. âGo on then.â Clapping her hands in excitement, Lizzie pushed out a small âyayâ, and equipped you with a pen. Scribbling your signature into the book, you pushed the copy towards him, keeping one hand on the cover. He repossessed it from you, brushing softly across your hand and smirking at you.
Figuring he may as well take his chance, Declan cleared his throat and pursed his lips in speech. âIf yaâ free tonight, why donât âya come for a drink with me and go into more detail about yaâ filthy book?â A rare smile interrupted his question. âOh⊠okay. Whereâs good for a drink?â You question, flipping your hair to one side. âAh, nowhere around here. Lizzieâll tell yaâ which my house is. If youâre comfortable, Iâm free tonight.â He murmurs, turning around and walking away from the table.
âFuck. Me. Lizzie. He is gorgeous.â You groan, rubbing your hands over your eyes. You couldnât have been more embarrassed at how you handled the situation. âOh God, Declan? No, no. Dirty.â Lizzie grimaced, turning her nose up at Mr OâHara.
-
Some few hours after what seemed to be a semi-successful public appearance, you lay on your bed in solitude. Declan hadnât left your mind the entire day. After some careful consideration, you decided to at least visit him for a very quick, very small drink. Curling your intricately long eyelashes and swiping gloss over your lips, you scanned yourself in your dressing table mirror â chestnut hair curled delicately and a tight floral dress hugging your curves, accessorised with a delicate pearl necklace and earrings. Taking a quick glimpse at the scrawled address that Lizzie had written for you, you begin to make the bitterly cold journey to The Priory.
Gently knocking on the front door of the luxurious country home, you waited nervously and replayed your earlier conversation in your head â unpicking on every stutter and incorrect word. âOh. I didnât think you were gonna come.â Declan spoke as he opened the door. Not quite the grand entrance you were expecting. âOh, Iâm so sorry. I just thought-â You begin to panic, instantaneously blushing and backing away from the door. After a few painfully uncomfortable seconds, Declan allowed himself a stifled chuckle as he extended the door to let you in. âAhh, Iâm just jokinâ. Come in. Lounge is the first door on the right.â
Taking a demure seat on his sofa, you kept your hands bunched up in your lap, afraid of taking up too much space. âWhat do yaâ drink? Whiskey? Vodka?â He bellowed from the kitchen, voice overcome only by the sound of glasses chinking against each other. âA vodka and lemonade will do, thank you.â You smile, watching intently as Declan entered the living room, pouring out two drinks with a trembling hand. âDid you really like the book?â You ask, pulling your cigarette case from your petite, leather clutch bag and lighting it. Declan followed suit, and subsequently swiped the signed copy of your novel from his coffee table, opening it a quarter way through and reading a sentence aloud.
âą
âAlice howled in intense sexual gratification as Edward swirled his fingertips across her swollen clitoris,â Declan began, voice assertive and proud, âJesus Christ, how are yaâ even allowed to publish this?â He asked, barking out a laugh. Rubbing your lips together in self-consciousness. Declan took note of your diffidence and halted his laughter, coughing brashly from the fumes of his cigarette and reading the next sentence of your book inwardly. âSorry. I, uh⊠didnât mean taâ embarrass âya.â He sighs, as you knock back the entirety of your vodka. âCan I have another, please?â You ask, and Declan obliges, filling more than half the glass with vodka, and replicating the insane measurement in his own.
âItâs erotica, Declan. Itâs very popular. Really, it reflects all of oneâs needs and desires.â You tut, tucking a strand of chocolate hair behind your left ear. Halfway through a mouthful of vodka, Declan paused and glared at you. It was the first time he had noticed you â really noticed you. The hopeful glint in your lazuline eyes, the gentle undulations of your shapely figure, the sultry pursing of your reddened lips. Your cheeks glowed the most charming shade of rose as the vodka coursed through your veins. âSo, what are your needs and desires?â He whispered, voice gravelly and coarse. âRead the next line.â You hush, taking another large swig of your drink. âHer wetness coated his fingers and his erection grew at the smell of her.â He reads, shifting himself in his seat uncomfortably. âItâs how every woman wants to be touched.â You whisper, inching closing to him and resting your head on your hand.
âYaâ want me to touch yaâ like that?â Declan growled, pulling your knees apart gently and creeping his hand up your thigh. The heat emanating from your pussy made him grunt in pleasure. Shuffling slightly to allow your dress to ride up to the top of your thighs, Declan pulled at your knee once more until your legs were widely spread. He brought his finger to your clit and gasped, âNo pants? Fuckinâ dirty girl.â You softly bite your bottom lip at his words. Nimbly swirling circles around your pink clit, you felt yourself dripping in excitement. You panted desperately at your heightened sensitivity. âDoes that feel good?â He asked, delving two fingers inside you and moaning at your constriction around him. You squeaked out the smallest yes possible, pleasure making it impossible to formulate coherent sentences.
Removing his fingers from you and standing up, Declan unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his wildly hairy chest. Gazing at him with adoring eyes, you watched as he unzipped his trousers and pulled his boxers from his ankles. Sitting back down on the sofa and motioning for you to copy, you pulled your floral dress over your head and off â substantially large breasts bouncing through the rhythm. Grabbing your hand and pulling you onto his lap, Declan fervidly crashed your lips together in lust â tongue fighting itâs way into yours and hand reaching up to grab a tight handful of your left breast. Desperate for friction, you began to grind your clit against his firm cock, moans escaping through the gaps of your kiss.
Grabbing your petite waist, Declan hoisted you up slightly and lowered you back down onto his cock. A powerful groan left your lips, your pussy slowly stretching open over his girth. Moving his hands to grab handfuls of your area, flesh spilling between his fingers, he bounced you up and down, his head lulling back in pleasure. âDeclan, youâre so fucking big.â You exclaim, steadying yourself on his shoulders. âAm I breaking yaâ, my girl?â He grunted into your ear, setting the pace of a madman. The way he could so easily raise you up and down created the most powerful knots in your stomach. âYes, and it feels so fucking good.â You moan.
Feeling you clench tighter around him, Declan moaned under his breath and released his hand, allowing you to set your own pace. Uncontrollable with ardour, you bounce on his cock with a frantic pace, evermore spurred on by his lustful reaction. âKeep goinâ, my girl. Iâm gonna fuckinâ cum inside yaâ.â The Irishman grunted, keeping his hands by his side and allowing you to ride him to release. âFuck, Declan. Cum for me. I want it so fucking bad.â
Lowering his head to take a nipple into his mouth, Declan moved his right hand to wrap around your waist, thrusting into you sloppily as he neared his ecstasy. âAre yaâ fuckinâ ready for it?â He asked, cock already twitching in anticipation. You nod lazily, losing control of your function. Grunting carnally as he shot his hot ropes of cum inside you, his grip around your waist tightened and you both panted together, relieved and exhausted. Slowly, lifting yourself from him, Declan watched as his seed dripped from your entrance â a successful symbol of your lovemaking.
âYou look so fuckinâ good with my cum inside âya.â He smirked, playing a firm smack on your arse. This would most definitely not be the last time you saw each otherâŠ
#rivals#rivals fanfic#rivals fanfiction#declan i fancy u <3#declan oâhara x reader#declan oâhara#declan o hara#aidan turner#my own dreadful writing
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hi! i love your works so much!!! i was wondering if i could request a hawks x pop princess f! reader?
like he does security for her groups concert and hes like âpffft im number 2 why do i need to be hereâ. then he watches her during sound check and is like okay i need to know more about her. so while shes getting ready hes just hovering backstage trying to talk to her. after the show she finally gives him her number (def against her companies wishes) and hes like trying to be suave and flirty and shes like âoh my god why is this workingâ. just a lot of hawks being a lover boy and sending gifts to her company anonymously and cutesy stuff like that lol. they have to keep their relationship a secret bc her company has a very strict no dating unless we agree rule. can be pre or post war hawks btw! you can take this wherever you want with it as well! can be nsfw or not.
im sorry that was so long! i was trying to make sure my thoughts were coherent lol.
Ooooo I love this idea so much, what a lovely dynamic to picture: a fanboy Hawks for a change, perhaps?? ~ this was a fun one to work on! @strwbrrykthv i sure hope this one was worth the wait and that I've done it justice!
You all are seriously the best readers a gal could ask for, and these requests are âšgiving me lifeâš~ Keep 'em coming!!
Who Has the Mic
Words: 4.3k
Rating: T
Warnings: Pro Hero!Hawks x popstar fem!reader, forbidden romance, flirting, mostly FLUFF, mentions of canon-typical threats, protective instincts, Hawks is a little shitTM, we love him your honor
for my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!
Read on Ao3
Hawks falls prey to a special thrill out of extending favors to others.Â
âI owe ya oneâ-- such a simple nicety that in the beginning, he doubts anyone would truly come to collect on it. It makes him sound agreeable, charming, starved for connection even before the height of his inevitable fame.Â
Then he rose and rose in the hero rankings, securing himself into the very visible and wildly popular top spot, in terms of viewer popularity.Â
Itâs now that the redemptions of Hawksâ pro-hero favors have come rolling in⊠The unexpected keeps him on his toes and entertains him for the most part; and if itâs all for the sake of protecting others, then why not have a little fun with it?Â
Once upon an overbearing press conference, back when he was first tiptoeing into the public scene⊠Hawks begged a makeup artist on staff for a spot to hide out in the green room and sneak a snack or two (or ten). He was granted pity for a teenager expected to take a seat at the table of an albeit boring Commission presentation. Well, it seems that particular makeup-artist rose within the talent realm themselves, and ended up reaching out to âthat flyboy kidâ back for a surprising accommodation:Â
Top tier talent warrants top tier security.
Hawks takes a call at his agency and soon finds himself ushered in for the Tokyo opener of the reigning top-of-the-charts pop star with a voice of gold. The first meeting of old acquaintances led the Pro-Hero to tour the brand new, sky-high facilities, then return for the load-in day of the stage. Again for first dress, and each night of the week-long residency.
He carries his presence on the stealthier side, far above the stage floor in the scaffolding. Up here, lights are rigged with steel supports running every which way, where he executes perfect balance while walking in a straight line atop them. Heâs checked -double and triple- that each outlet is free from hazard, each line of multi-ton equipment has been secured and safe, so that even his âadventuringâ from up high is not a risk.
Heâs happy for the variety of work he faces as a hero- but right now, heâs bored. He shouldn't be feeling so dreadful, especially on the job, but he is. Itâs not his style to be so down, after all. But Hawks has checked into every nook and cranny of this place and for the sake of an understandably hypervigilant security team, has an eye for which points of entry and exit could use a birdâs eye view come showtime.
His muscles are used to far more fast-paced antics and time-sensitive chases; not traipsing around like a literal vulture ready to swoop in at any moment. Surely heâs needed elsewhere.
But the threats have been rolling in⊠as they do for all of these larger-than-life musician types who found their way into the spotlight. Theyâre at risk of going in blind if they donât have a good team around them to help them see.
So here he is, playing guardian angel to do his part and make sure all goes smoothly. It's a big operation by his count; thereâs sixty members on the tech roster, plus the venue stage manager and their contracted staff, then all performers, and of course the headliner. Now where she is, heâd like to knowâ for not so selfless reasons.
Heâd know her music by heart, given how much of an earworm and personal anthem her songs have become for him. Itâs rare that the tables are turned, where Hawks is the fanboy and someone else is the idol. That dream is his dangling carrot for completing this mission successfully: he has the most sought-after bodyguard duty in the nation, and as good as a front row seat to her show.
Yet in a weird sense, Hawks also kinda hopes he never meets her. Doesnât want to crush that bubble, ruin the allusion of the woman heâs got set as his ringtone.
So, he just runs his headcounts on all bodies supposed to be present at the top-of-show meeting to busy his mind. All is in order. âCuesâ are rounding up the pre-show acts, each in plainclothes for this rough stumble-through. Still doesnât see the little starlet yet, and he gets the residual feeling that this might be typical behavior of âthe talentâ to show up whenever she damn well pleases.Â
Though funnily enough, he spots a pretty thing down there sporting some Hawks merch! Always nice to see a supportive fan in the most unlikely placesâŠÂ
It's a well-fitting quarterzip sporting his red feather blades down each arm, an item he vaguely recognizes from this seasonâs newest launch. Sheâs got headphones on and subtly bopping about in her own little world, perhaps running through tonightâs set under her breath, if her self-contained taps of the fingers are an indication of her keeping beat.Â
Hawksâ curious attention to that girl on the fringes of the stage is pulled when he hears the strict timbre of the stage director heâd met on day one take center stage.
âOk, time to rein it in. As we covered in the email from Sec-Eng- which Iâm assuming you gen-zâers have read,â the bossman snarks to the younger members of this crew down below, âweâve got some additional eyes in the sky pulling security for this leg in the tour. So, I want to give you all a chance to get your excitement out -along with your thanks- to our equally chart-topping hero, Hawks~ whoâs⊠somewhere around here.â
Hoodie girl blanchedâ as if sheâd been told sheâd need to share her internet history to her grandmother. Immediately, she tosses off her headset and starts frantically stripping herself of the jacket she wore. While enthusiastic heads all fly around in every direction in search of the hero, Hawks chuckles at the sight of her alone.Â
â...//Well, heâs probably checking the perimeters anyway//. How bout we all just send a big thank-you, eh?â
The couple of âHoodieâs fellow dancers were poking fun at her -poor thing still flushed and clammed up- while the group gave a loud, singsongy âthank you!!â up to the stage doors, assuming the Pro-Hero might be busting in, grand entrance fashion on command. The love-laden response from the dancers makes Hawks roll his eyes lightly, but he appreciates their praise all the same.
They giggle about in jazzed excitement with oneâs voice carried out squealish and feminine, despite their professional assembly,
âOh my god, you must be in HEAVEN!! Heâs gonna be watching you ALL NIGHT!â
âHoodieâ looks downright mortified. The others have seemed to gather around spouting nothing but encouragement to this little fan girl who's doing her best to put on a poker face. Adorable.Â
âNow we also need to make some edits before the crew breaks for lunch, everyone, so we are gonna start today with opening of Set 5 instead- hold.. Hold on⊠WHO HAS THE GOD MIC??â
The mics table scrambles for the one handheld microphone with omniscient audio range to the house. Surely it's the one thing they wouldn't lose and should hand straight to the Stage Manager, right?Â
Well, said mic was sitting unattended there on the cart earlier⊠all for the Winged Heroâs taking when he was making his preliminary sweep earlier.Â
From his inner jacket pocket, Hawks catches his lip in his teeth as he remembers where to turn the thing on. Once his throat cleared and the mic blinks red in sync with the soundboard, he amplifies a little trademark bird whistle: for each and every soul in sight to hear.Â
The stage erupts in excitement, as planned. âHoodieâ immediately teeters over to one of the props hideaways and stows said jacket away.Â
Hawks chuckles with the mic at chest levelâ only to call her out from his perch,
âSaw that, dear~â
Seems logic caught up with the poor thing, as she -finally- pieced together the true vantage point of her idolâs presence, and looked up.Â
Sparing her too much embarrassment, Hawks simply cocked his head on a folded up fist and gave a little wave of some fingers to her.Â
Despite her clear shock and surprise, she did smile brilliantly back and gave a little signed âthank you for being hereâ rather than a scream like all the others.
The stage manager followed her line of sight to where the hero stands in wait, ready to dismount and return his bit of cheekily stolen equipment. Despite some bewildered aggravation to Hawksâ antics, he gestures with the exhaustion of a high school teacher.
âThere now, see kids? That's how you protect your voices before a show!! Better than belting your way to the doctorâs office. Our star here sure leads by example now doesn't sheââÂ
In rare form for the hero, it's Hawksâ turn to be stunned. His fangirl: itâs you.
Everyone else may be calling that first call time your lucky day⊠but you were intimidated to the point of feeling ill. Thank goodness for your poker face; because locking eyes with Hawksâ stunning crimson canopy and giving you that wink and a grin about sent you into a heart attack.Â
You're starstruck. The absolute heartthrob of an idol you revere as your favorite Pro-Hero has been standing over 150 meters above your head, watching for every sign of danger that could threaten you for the last week.Â
That near guarantee of safety would trump your fleeting nervesâ if you hadnât given the first impression of a closeted fangirl like you did!!
Nothing short of awe crossed your mind when you so much as think of the hero. A very vocal fan whenever he came up in the news or your social feed amongst your inner circle. Hawks is a household name for you, who you were incredibly fond of⊠both in how he handled massive crowds or charmed in intimate, one-on-one interviews.Â
You know the role; you suck up for cameras, too, as it's all in the optics. But for every PR-guided response you know is crafted by easy-going smiles or a disarming tone, you remember to see past the spectacle of Hawks and look for âhimâ. Remove the wings and hero getup: who is he? Can you spot the tells on camera like your mom can when she watches you? No matter how big of a global phenomenon her baby girl gets, she can still tell when you have a headache while having to give an appearance on a talk show.Â
The man you spot on screen has to have a series of faults and slips. Even battle-ready heroes put their shoes on one at a timeâ just like everyone else. Heâs sure to have a favorite lunch spot, a favorite pen to use for autographs, a favorite singer, evenâŠÂ
Surely not you, but a girl can dream.
Thereâs a glazed-over glint in Hawksâ eyes when he very subtly checks out when being spoken to which gives you the strong suspicion you two may not be so unalike. And that list of little mannerisms has grown exponentiallyâ with every day that's passed:
Hawks has difficulty staying still, you've learned. Heâs also much younger than people assume. Carries a crafty habit of popping up unexpectedly in a way thatâs youthfulâ and borderline cheeky. From atop a stack of amps, to a crowdless green room, to the rigging of lights where you've stunned the crowds for the last four nights, heâs perched out of sight from your thousands of fans.Â
Though each little comment thrown here and there in praise has floated down to your ears in sweet jest, things come to a head when the last night of your show arrived: where the crushing realization sought to dampen your mood.Â
After tonight, you wouldnât have your angelic, crimson-winged shadow anymore.Â
But Hawks surprises you once again.Â
You nearly miss it, too, once your final round of âsurprise songsâ is revealed and you are snuck down to your assigned hideout to get ready to leave the venue. Itâs back in your can-lit dressing room that youâre making double takes down the hall looking for any sign of your security team; especially the one to whom you owe a hefty âthank youâ to for all his efforts.
-but as your half-redressed form has donned your beloved Hawks hoodie once more, youâre not so spooked to hear a familiar whistle from behind you this time.
Headphones slung back down around his neck and wings slimmed down to a more presentable manner for tight hallways like these, Hawks slips into your prep space with a speedy uptick of steps. A knowing whisper to âshut the door fast so no one noticesâ eeks out of him, eliciting a smile from you.
Each one of your suspicions are confirmed with that one comment alone; he knows this game well. Still, playing along with his dance of keep-away from any prying eyes (or cameras) doesnât mean your heart isnât hammering away in your chest at the knowledge of getting your hero all to yourself.
So here, Hawks traipses around your makeshift room with unbidden interestâ which, for such a small space, is cute to know how many little details pique his curiosity. Your various outfits still hang all facing the correct way, your personal backpack sits beside it on the end featuring your mess of pins and collected patches from the locations youâve toured thus far. The run schedule is still taped on the wall, and below it, your laptop has your notation software open and idle onscreen.
âWell, now,â Hawks chimes in with a little crouch over the back of your empty chair, âSurely Iâm not looking at our next chart-topping hit in the making, am I?â
âMaybe!â you chuckle, joining his side to quickly save your work before you forget. âItâs getting the lyrics and melody to marry right thatâs the hard part. Working out the latter right now, and itâs kinda kicking my butt.â
âBut youâre doing it! Look at all thisâ wait. Is this what you were dancing to earlier?â
Damn his powers of observation. Youâd been testing out the rhythm of the hook this weekâ when youâd been caught under his attention.
â...M-maybe?â you hedge again.
âI knew it-â Hawks beamed, âA stunning starlet and a mastermind. What canât you do?â
Flattered beyond belief, you answer honestly,Â
âKeep myself outta trouble with my managers. Trying to, at least,â you close the laptop to conserve its power, âbut between the shows and speaking engagements, itâs left me a bit starved for time to actually make the music.â
âNâwhy would writing get you in trouble?â
âIt takes me away from all the other things I âhave to doâ,â you sigh easily. âThey can bring in anyone to make the music and keep pitching songwriting teams to me to take the load off. Just think somethingâs gotten a little out of balance.â
Without meaning to, you held Hawksâ attentionâ enough to make him sit back on the armrest of your couch and listen with undivided attention while you explained your creative process more. While most J-Pop performers would be thrilled to have outside writers create the work and easy into a performance schedule with pre-set work to learn, you loved to have a hand in the writing process too. As an art form, itâs personal when you have to perform season after season.Â
Youâve chatted quite a bit here and there over these last several days, though not this extensively. He was interested in so much about this whole operation, to the point where you wondered if heâd ever met any of the performers who you knew presented at some of those hero galas he went to. Apparently not, by the way heâd lock onto your every word when you spoke. Either your timekeepers (or his) would inevitably interrupt you, so back to work you two would fly off to.. though youâd seem to circle back to one another and chat about anything and everything if given the chance- little spurts of talk that always left you wanting more.
Heâd commiserate with you on that front as wellâ the balance of stardom and freedom. Bogged down by meetings and public appearances wore on him just as much as you. With every roadblock you described about your recent album development, Hawks nodded along with expected understanding.Â
The revolving issue of personal safety might have brought him into your employ, but you know more and more cases like yours filled up his day-to-day life in ways you couldnât imagine⊠but he even shed some light on that as well to you. Heâd burst the bubble on hero work as an industry through little asides with you offstage: comments heâd likely get reprimanded for if he ever spoke them in a public statement.Â
But youâd keep his secrets safe. What happens on set stays on set.
So even now, as heâs tucked himself into your dressing room while you puttered around chatting about your true dreams of getting a new concept album wrapped by the end of the year, Hawks tuned in with genuine interest that only made your heart skip a beat for him more.
âI havenât always gotten the time to work on it lately⊠though this week, Iâve had a clearer head to be in here rather than under lock and key with a security force breathing down my neckâ which is largely thanks to you, Mr. Hawks.â
âOh please,â Hawks scrunches his nose and teases, âMr. Hawks is what the lawyers call me. Just Hawks is fine!â
You exhale, squishing back any girlish outburst from your voice at how fussy he looked.Â
âAll the same, thank you for your help this week,â you pressed, âItâs -uhm- not often I get to meet my favorite Pro Hero on the jobâŠâ
A pleased smirk lifts Hawksâ cheeks, though you spot a funny kind of shyness in them when he studies your sleeve rather than look you in the eye-
âFavorite, huh?â Hawks smiles, â nâhere I thought I was the lucky one, sweetâeart-â he taps his headphones for emphasis, âOne day Iâm listening to you on repeat on my morning commuteâ and the next, Iâm standing two feet from you!â
â--Youâre kidding.â
From his pocketed phone, Hawks challenges you with a press and hold on the speakers to boost the volume as high as it could go. Faintly, you caught your own pop vocals from your second ever album casting from Hawksâ headphones.Â
You canât believe your luckâ heâs really a fan? Of yours?
The mix of sentimentality and surprise must be palpable on your face as you grasp exactly which song has Hawks spellbound before he cocks his head with a sheepish grin of his own,Â
âBelieve me now?â
Words fail you, but you shudder out a little giggle that speaks volumes. He tests with a smile,
âSoooo guess you wouldnât mind if I asked a horribly stereotypical favor and snagged a selfie while Iâm here?âÂ
Eyebrows shot up to the sky as Hawks dangled his phone between you, you immediately pause. No one on your Communications team is still backstage (to your knowledge), but the engrained warning about checking your professional list of partnerships before posting comes to mind⊠annoying as it is. All you want is a pic with him, too!
âNothing for socials-â Hawks assures you with a gloved hand, âIf your handlers are just as pesky as mine, theyâd never let me live it down. Justâ something to keep me grounded, on the hard days.â
That reasoning⊠it almost broke your heart just as quickly as your potential disappointment had been earlier.Â
With a knowing smile, you nodded sweetly to Hawks- heâs charming in a whole new light to you.
âOnly if you send it to me too, hm? Favor for a favor?â
â âCourse!â
Sliding up into his open space, Hawks clearly knows his best side but keeps you right in the center of his shot. That smile he makes⊠you are going to keep this proud glint in his eye and sight of his hand around you locked into your mind foreverâ even if he forgets to send it to your insta handle after this.Â
Itâs too brief of a moment, watching his wing curl around you though the phoneâs front-facing camera burgeoning you close, head tilting gently against yours. Keeping a close-lipped smile seared into your mind when you think of him now.
Then in an even more lightning fast moment, while heâs fussing with a weird flip of his bangs, you reach to tap the shutter as you sneak a kiss onto his cheek.Â
Heâs stunned by the move, but by the even brighter muted smile, you stand by with pride double checking his photo gallery that the shot made it. It surely did.Â
âYou have a hard job, Hawks; harder and more dangerous than anyone I know,âÂ
You step away casually.. Though the need for distance is more for your sake than just optics of your forwardness.Â
â... Thought you deserved more than one lil selfie. Hope thatâs ok?â
âH-okay?â Hawks breathes out, studying his camera roll with reverence, âBetterân ok..â
Outside a muted feedback from the PA system is calling for Exit team to assembleâ get staged for your departure from the venue at last.
âThatâs me. Better bounce-â Hawks piped up after a small clearing of his throat. Youâre nearly too shy to look at him after this-
-but when a kiss greets your hand, lifted imperceptibly fast and squeezed just as fleeting as his words grace your ears- you couldnât look away if you tried.
â- a pleasure, dear.â
And before you can utter any further word of thanks or manage something other than a shocked smile, Hawks slips out of the room and off to hand the reins back to your team. You can barely hear from the still-live walkie talkies that your security detail is back at their regular stations, and your Pro-Hero is off for his final step of his hired work. Soon heâd be relieved of his station and off to save someone else from an unsavory fate.
He doesnât forget to send you the photos; and you now have his private insta handle.
The photo where you snuck a peck onto his cheek would be set as your internal screenshot if it werenât for your nieceâs constant borrowing of your phone when she visits you on setâŠÂ
But now, youâre back for a month-long stay at the studioâ your reward for a successful first half of the Tour.
Encouraged by your protective museâs spark at the thought of your new music, you decide to take that energy back to Chichibu. Your headphones might as well be glued to your head, with how much youâve head-dived into your sound mixing apps and sampling library. In fact, itâs that unwavering attention to your music that you nearly miss the most obvious sight walking through the lobby of the unassuming recording studio. Almost.
But how could you reallyâ when the largest floral arrangement youâd ever seen is gracing the reception table? That stunning piece looks like it costs more than the linoleum flooring the desk sits on.Â
A few aides have been distracted by the sight, studying the typed message attached and racking their brains for any sign of a calling card. One of your cutting room techs was currently rounding the base of the standing arrangement for some tucked note, which made you giggle how intently she was studying the thing.Â
You know the sound booth manager best out of this group of other visiting accompanists,
âLucky, lucky girl~â she reels you in excitedly, plucking the card from the otherâs sights and handing to you directly. âSorry to say thereâs no hint who itâs from⊠but itâs for you, little bird!â
You hedge at the pet name once againâ the nickname stuck unwillingly not only for your melodic talent, but the association with your clear celebrity (heroic) crush.Â
However, as you read the note, the immediate assumption that this may have been another gift from a venue host was thrown right out the windowâŠ
This was a personal gift:
To keep my genius company while she makes her magic~ No one can give us the stories you can; donât ever let them take your voice. Itâs the most beautiful thing Iâve heard. Canât wait to hear the new demo!
âNo matter how high or low I am.. a piece of me will be here with you. Itâs- where I'd rather be... Till next timeâŠâ
âNext time? Wait, who sent these again?!â
âIt was just the delivery guy, from that really flouncy place downtown~â the receptionist answers with interest.
âNooo, I mean on the card! Who signed the card?
âThere's nothingâ no initials, nothing..â you confirmed, still reeling over the message. But as you trail off over the cascade of tropical flowers, the flecks of red blooms catch your eye and bring you to study harder.Â
Then- tucked under some deep green curls- a spot of red hides. A quill amongst the mossy padding of the arrangement- not unlike a surprise found in a nest.
Sifting through under the guise of feeling tender petals, you grasp the soft, downy feather which bears a small post-it flag on the underside with a sequence of numbers on it.Â
âDo you have any idea who?â
Balling it carefully in your fist just as quickly, you answer, âCouldn't tell ya. But the pop of red sure is pretty, isn't it?â
In your booth -set up with your sticker-laden laptop and butterflies in your stomach- you hold the sticky note in one hand, pinching the crimson feather precariously in the other.Â
Face warmed and unbelieving of your luck, you think on what to send first to your mic-stealerâŠ
To be continued?
#keigo takami#hawks#mha hawks#bnha hawks#keigo x reader#keigo takami x reader#hawks x reader#takami keigo#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha#bnha
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Iâm curious what makes you ship Rio/Alice (I also love the ship and glad more people are on board)
Oh, boy. Sorry for the wall of text that's about to hit your eyeballs, anon.
First, the main reason is that I love unexplored dynamics. It's more fun for me to write rarepairs that I have to work to justify or understand, that aren't necessarily scaffolded by popularity or a whole canon romantic storyline. Actually, I tend to avoid writing pairings that a lot of other people write or that feature heavily in canon--kind of a strange feeling of "if you don't have anything new to add, don't say it." (Which, to be clear, is not how one has to approach fandom at all. I genuinely enjoy reading my favorite tropes and premises over and over again! I like seeing ten different people gif the same moment! It's just that I, personally, like the narrative space of rarepairs.)
So for me, Rio and Alice occupy that fascinating grey area of having maybe one and a half canon conversations (super rarepair) but also being such strong characters independently that the threads of behavior and backstory are there to connect if you want. (I want.) To wit:
Rio and Alice are two people (person and entity?) whose natures fundamentally oppose each other--Alice is a very mortal protection witch whose natural instinct is to save, to be good, and Rio is the immortal Death, whose job it is to reap, to take, to be villainized. Put them together, and they'll clash in a fun way--especially since, unlike Agatha, Alice is terrible at running away or deflecting. It has the potential to be really toxic, and it has the potential of coming out the other side to actual growth and understanding. (This is what makes Alice so easy to ship/write for me, by the way--I mean, yeah, she's my blorbo, but also her sincerity and instinctive selflessness offer a great counterpoint to, like, every other character. The others, who are balls of lies and deflection and worse coping mechanisms, clarify when placed next to her.)
They also have interesting similarities: they're both bound by duty. Both forced to accept senseless tragedy. Both grieving. Both, in a way, willing to be truthful.
There are so many entry points into it from canon: Rio following Alice through her life via the curse, Alice seeking Rio (death) at some point in her life (which is not exactly canon but you can argue it by...well, Alice's whole deal pre-episode 4), Rio being jealous of Alice saving Agatha (I wrote that one), and of course Rio reaping Alice. Come on. That cheek touch. Like, we saw someone walking beside Rio into her realm, and it wasn't Agatha.
And, well, there's the Agatha of it all. The way I write Rio, you simply cannot cut Agatha out of it. It adds an extra challenge to figure out how Rio and Alice would have a relationship that would stack up in any way to Rio and Agatha's (and what that would look like). If you do it right, it gives extra meaning to Rio/Alice--it's not the destined love, but it's one they had to choose.
And finally, the two other, very shallow reasons:
I wrote a fic about these two, and I put so much of the stuff I like in there that I played myself and got interested.
Aesthetically, Death and her puppy dog girlfriend in a Hot Topic leather jacket? Fire.
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Welcome back to the first episode of âListening to TMA S5, blindâ Iâm your beloved host and guys. Guys guys. I actually am freaking out.
MAG 161: Dwelling
Iâm actually screaming. Hearing the old gang actually made me want to cry. SASHA. SASHA I MISSED YOU :(( also Elias: âIâd like to keep an eye outâ you think youâre so fucking funny. I loved the very off key singing of Happy Birthday. Accurate. I wonder if Elias/Jonah sent the tapes for a reason. Itâs definitely not to gloat. Is this apart of a wider web of manipulation? The Web style? Also, the fact Sasha couldâve been head archivist. Jesus
Hearing the description of the entities, that they donât care enough to keep humanity fed and watered unnerved me a lot actually. I donât know.
MAG 162: A Cozy Cabin
GERRY!!! Nice to hear him as a human, without all the ghost-like qualities. Although hearing Jon rewind the tape over and over and over and over again just made me feel bad.
And then Sasha and Tim.
âwe had the ill-advised hookup, the awkward aftermath, and the gradually rebuilt friendship, but â thatâs all season two stuff. Weâve got like five more seasons before we get the heartwarming epilogue that makes it canon.â
âNo. You took it too far! Iâm unforgettable!â
So what if I just ended it all?
Also Jonâs monologue. For a bit, I thought he was âknowingâ one of Martins poems that he made during this since Martin was the one who did not like staying at the cabin but no, I was wrong. But time to see the outside world
MAG 163: In The Trenches
I wanna go back to the cabin.
I love TMA so much because of how the format switches up every season. Like season 1 was pretty simple enough with season 2 having Jon add in those supplementals and having a new setting (the tunnels). Season 3 cranks it up with having live statements from recurring characters, statements read by others, and dropping some lore. season 4, while similar to season 1 in terms of format, has Martin reading statements, more god damn lore and some new settings. And now season 5 has uh all this. Itâs so amazing and I love it and Iâm terrified.
Hearing Jon describe everything going on actuslly made me horrified. Like I got spooked out by the statements but this made me feel so much dread like Iâm not even kidding. I also wanna know more about that weird ass doctor and the man with the red flower. Avatars of The Slaughter I presume.
Also that phone. ???? What???
MAG 164: The Sick Village
Gross. While the previous episode made me experience horror, this made me feel disgust. Disgust that just burrowed into my bones (get it. Cause..the episode-). I had such a deep instinct of repulsion. Like actually. I also read the triggers just cause you can never be too careful and I remember thinking, âhow can xenophobia be involved with The Corruption?ââŠapparently xenophobia was very prevalent
Now I know where the whole âMartinâs middle nameâ thing comes from. Iâm glad Basira is alive. And heart broken at the tragedy there is. Sheâs always chasing Daisy and Daisy is always chasing another thing SOMEBODY SEDATE ME
I think Georgie and Melanie are in the tunnels. Itâs been established before that Elias canât see in the tunnels which probably means Jon canât see them. Iâm glad they are safe. They need it.
Helen! Nice to see her again, I actually cackled when she said âcheck up on the happy coupleâ. Nice to see a confirmation about the relationship. This is like the worst time to be dating someone though đ Helenâs so happy. Iâm sure she has a ton of people in her hallways. I donât know if sheâs lying about the âfriend thing, but itâd be funny if she wasnât
Okay. Thatâs everything. Sorry for the long wait, I had to take a break after season 4âs finale and then ANOTHER one after listening to the first 3 eps. This is like, actually heavy. Kinda draining. But god, Iâm actually going insane.
I want to know how this is going to be fixed. Like. Thereâs gotta be some happy ending. ??? Right??? Please tell me there is one.
#the magnus archives#tma#tma podcast#zabala0z thoughts#tma s5#the magnus archives season 5#Jesus#this is just a lot#also I now have 5 friends who started listening to TMA because of me#Iâm a plague onto society#get it#plague#sorry
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I feel like I gotta let you talk about why you like Vegas now bc I had so little to say!
Vegas belongs to the list of fictional men I would never introduce to someone new. Like, if they get him, it's well and good, and if they don't, that too is fine. So Shan, I get having very little to say about Vegas.
I also understand not being that into Kinnporsche. Other than the fact that it was beautifully shot, my only reasons for sticking around (initially) were my beloved Tankhun and the rivalry between Kinn and Vegas. Kinnporsche, for all its faults as a series, not having a coherent plot being one of them đ€·, gave us very interesting characters and inter-personal dynamics.
How I feel about this character
I love him. Don't get me wrong, he is not a good person, nor does he pretend to be one. He is not a reformed person who will only do good deeds post-canon.
My (not so healthy) reasons for liking Vegas boil down to
His self-loathing tendencies
His filial piety towards his father, however undeserved it might be
His competence at being the head of a mafia family
Thinking about post-canon Vegas is so interesting because everything he thought he wanted out of his life is goneâhis father is dead, Porsche is now the head of the minor family, and he has Pete, a romantic partner in ways he never imagined he could/would.
So, his character arc isn't complete; he has to figure out who he is as a person outside of his rivalry with Kinn.
All the people I ship romantically with this character
Only Pete!! I couldn't subject anyone else to be on the receiving end of my little manipulator's romantic affections, lol.
And people say that romance is dead!!! One of my reasons for shipping them together is the evitability of their relationship. It didn't happen because someone was pulling the strings behind a curtain or because one person had an agenda while pursuing the other. It's about seeing yourself in the other person and understanding them. In short, they match each other's freaks.
My non-romantic OTP for this character
Let's be honest, all of us wondered where Vegas and Porsche would go after the bike ride scene.
Love Vegas and Macau's relationship. There is a lot of love there and an instinct to protect him from their father's abuse. Love me a good protective older sibling â€ïž
My unpopular opinion about this character
I wasn't active on this site when the show was airing, so I don't know if these are unpopular opinions. But, I do see a lot of fics depicting Kinn and Vegas as being almost friendly towards each other post-canon, and I'm like, how? I don't know; I just can't see that happening in a million years. Also, Vegas as a father? I know that this happens in the books, which I haven't read and never plan on reading. He has a long way to go before even thinking about fatherhood, and I don't believe he is someone who aspires to be one. So, yeah, I can't reconcile the image of Vegas as a father with the Vegas in my head.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
I wish we got to see him wearing more red, because he is a fucking vision.
I also wish we got more of Tankhun and Vegas. I could see them fighting over Pete a lot. Also, hours of footage of him just cooking, for my indulgence.
Give me a character ask game
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Iâm watching Grimm and all I can think of is a ficlet of Grimms technically being a Weisen
#Grimm NBC#NBC Grimm#Grimm#nick burkhardt#lemme see Nick go through Grimm puberty#he got the Sight:tm:#and now that Iâm at episode 12#I think he gets the instincts#I want to read more about the new instincts#want him to accidentally lash out at Monroe and Monroe having yo reach him how to Weider
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i canât sleep, i donât even know what iâm feeling
#i want to make a vent post ab it but i canât do that without doxxing myself#and i donât really want to talk to anyone else who was there about it because i know i would just default to trying to comfort them#and ease what theyâre going through but iâm barely processing it all as real myself#idk. once again i just wish falling asleep was easier#and irls/people who know what this is about: please donât feel obligated to talk to me about it#i know itâs a lot and i donât want you to take more than you can handle to help me. i know thatâs my instinct right now#but iâm scheduling an appointment with my therapist later this week so. iâll be ok#anyways these fucking sirens in the distance are Not helping#but whatever. idk maybe iâll try to do schoolwork tomorrow#i should probably stop reading news articles about it
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lol so this ended up being wayyy longer than i expected, just under 3k
Also, not edited so hopefully there arenât many mistakes! If so Iâll fix it when I wake up cause ya girl is sleepy lol.
You can read part 1 here
you were barely halfway through your shift when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. you decide to ignore it for now, instead getting back to the task you were working on.
its ten minutes later when you're able to take your break, you head out towards the parking lot, seeing your car parked in the middle of the sea of cars and walk over towards it, unlocking the door and sitting down in the drivers seat.
you pull your phone out from your pocket and open it, noticing a new text message from katsuki. your fingers instantly click on the notification only to see its a video he sent.
you remember he said something about going to a party with eijirou and denki and figure its just a video of the three of them drunk off their ass and yelling into the camera or something like it usually is.
however, when you click play it doesn't take long for you to realize that this is not anything like the normal videos you receive. your eyes widen instantly and your head snaps up, looking back and forth and even behind you just to be safe, making sure no one else is in the parking lot before your eyes are dropping back down to your phone just in time to see katsuki pushing his pants down on his hips and his cock springing free.
your mouth waters at the sight, your legs squeezing together instinctively, eyes glued to the phone. you swallow as he takes his length into his hands, letting his hand drag up and down his dick and your ears perk up at the sound of him groaning softly in the background, hands instantly moving to turn the volume up all the way, wanting to hear each and every sounds that falls from his lips as he pleasures himself.
his thumb rubs at his tip, smearing the precum that dripped from his tip along the purplish tip and you can practically taste him on your tongue.
katsuki lets his dick go, and you watch , eyes moving along with it as if hypnotized, as it bounces up and down softly before settling. movement above catches your attention and you watch as katsuki begins racking his nails up and down his stomach, something you know he loves when you do it to him.
the hand that isn't holding your phone moves down to your legs, rubbing your thighs as you continue to watch katsuki touch himself.
you jump the first time he says something, not prepared for him to talk.
âfuckkk pretty girlââ and shit he already sounds so fucked out and he's barely even started.
your hand begins to slip inside the waistband of your pants, wanting nothing more than to give throbbing clit the attention its begging for when the quiet rumbling of an engine pulls your attention away from the video, your head raising as you see a car pull into the spot directly next to you and you immediately click out of the video, pulling up a random app you have on your phone as your cheeks heat up at the fact that you were really about to play with your pussy in the parking lot of you job.
after a minute or two you glance over at woman in the car next to you, wishing she'd hurry up and get out already so you can keep watching the video, but she's looking down at her phone and you can tell she's not going anywhere anytime soon. you let out a groan and look around the parking lot wishing she parked literally anywhere else.
your damp panties cling to you uncomfortably and you squeeze your legs together to get some sort of friction to your throbbing clit, silently reminding yourself that you are in fact in public so you cant actually make yourself cum.
the sound of a car door opening pulls you from the ache in your pants and you see the woman getting out of her car, closing the door behind herself and walking in the direction of your job.
alone again, you do another quick sweep of the parking lot, making sure there's no one around before your clicking back over to the video.
âwish it was you bouncing on this dickâ
and fuck so do you, you wanna feel the fullness you feel everytime you sink down on katsuki's fat cock, the stinging stretch you feel no matter how many fingers katsuki uses to stretch you out or how long he preps you for. he's just so... thick, that it always brings a painful kind of pleasure.
 âdonât worry pretty girl, imma come stretch that pussy out when you get offâ
at the reminder of your job your head raises. you take your bottom lip between your teeth, debating.
you leaving early wouldn't really be that bad, you guys were overstaffed for it to be such a slow night, and you have complete faith in your coworkers that they can handle the rest of the night without you.
it doesn't take you long to make you're decision, you're completely exiting off of the video and stuffing your phone back into your pocket, not bothering to finish the video, you'll be getting the real thing soon anyway.
you head back inside of your job, going towards your managers office and knocking. after telling her some shitty excuse about having a family emergency and how you have to go you grab your stuff, calling out a goodbye to your coworkers before you back outside and speed walking to your car.
you know katsuki is at his place because of the message he sent you after sending the video.
this party sucks. going back home, come over when you get off.
luckily his apartment wasn't too far from your job and in less than ten minutes you're pulling up to the familiar building. you park and hurry towards the door, using the key katsuki gave you to let yourself in.
you take the stairs up to the third floor, not bothering with the elevator until you're standing in front of katsuki's door. you fumble around with your keys a little before finding the right one and pushing it into the key hole, twisting it until it clicks. You walk inside, toeing your shoes off at the door.
its dark inside, the only light inside coming from the small space under katsuki's bedroom door. you hear him curse before he's calling someone a shitty extra and you figure he's playing his game.
you make your way to the door, pushing it open, flooding the dark hallway with light. katsuki's head turns at the sound of his door being opened and a surprised look crosses his face. he turns his headset off and sets it down before turning back towards you.
he glances up at the clock on the wall above your head and back down at you.
"what are you doing here so early? I thought you didn't get off for three more hours." he says but you don't respond, instead you're taking his controller in your hand and tossing it onto his bed before crawling into his lap.
your hands tangle in his blonde strands as you press your lips into his. katsuki's hands find your waist, pulling you closer as he kisses you back, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip. your lips part instantly and katsuki doesn't hesitate, pushing his tongue into your mouth and slotting it against yours.
he tastes like mint with the lingering taste of weed and you moan at the combination, tugging on his hair as you grind yourself down against his growing erection, groaning at the clothing barrier that separates the two of you.
you pull away to mess with the strands of his sweatpants, untying them before trying to push them down. katsuki lifts his hips off of the chair, helping you pull his pants down enough to free his cock.
"you didn't answer my question" he says, watching you spit in your hand before wrapping it around his length. "what are you doing here so early?"
you don't answer, too focused on pumping him fast, your grip tight as you stare down at his cock.
he takes your jaw between his hands, squeezing your cheeks together and forcing you to look up at him. the hand you have wrapped tightly around his cock pauses as you stare into his red eyes, darkened with arousal.
"don't tell me you left work early just to get some dick. fuckin cock slut."
the words are mean but they're completely true, you did leave work early to get fucked and you were a cock slutâ his cock slut.
"i saw your video" you tell him, as you begin moving your hand again, slower this time but your grip still just as tight. katsuki smirks.
"yeah?" he questions, tilting his head to the side. you hear him suck in a breath when you begin thumbing at his tip, smearing his precum the same way you say him do in the video.
"yeah. got so turned on i was ready to finger myself right there in the parking lot. probably woulda if someone didn't park next to me"
katsuki's dick twitches in your hand at the mental image of your spread out in the backseat of your car, fingers pumping in and out of your tight pussy as you watch him jerk off for you.
you let out a surprised yelp when katsuki places his hands on your ass before lifting you both out of the chair, he walks the few steps over towards his bed. he tosses you onto the soft mattress before pulling his shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere in the room.
he crawls onto the bed, settling himself between your legs, his head directly in front of your clothed cunt. he drags his finger up and down your slit, feeling the warmth even through the layers of clothes you have.
in one swift motion, he has your legs pushed up with your knees by your head, pulling both your pants and panties down at the same time until they're pooling at your feet, you kick them off the rest of the way, letting the drop to the floor as katsuki takes his place between your legs once again.
the first lick against your sensitive clit was too much, after being ignored for so long the pleasure of finally being touched is almost enough to make you cum right then and there. your back arches off the bed, hands yanking at katsuki's hair.
his eyes are focused on your face, watching as your mouth falls open in a long moan when he takes your clit between his lips and starts to suck and slurp at the bundle of nerves.
"shit katsukiâfuck" you grind your hips up against his face, one of your hands coming to push your shirt and bra up over your chest, freeing your tits to the cool air circulating throughout the room, knowing katsuki likes the cold. your nipples harden even more when the cold air hits them and you take one of them between your fingers, pinching and rolling the nub as katsuki laps at your clit.
it doesn't take longâ it never does, not when katsuki is sucking on your clit just rightâfor you to feel the familiar tightening in your tummy, your toes curling as you moan out a pathetic broken version of his name. two of katsuki's thick fingers plunge inside of you, he doesn't give you time to adjust as he curls his fingers upwards, looking for that spot that'll have you screaming out his name in seconds.
he knows he's found it when you're crying out and trying to close your legs around his head. he focuses his thrusts on the same spot, over and over again until your back is rising off the bed completely and your screaming out his name.
he continues lapping at your cunt, drinking down every drop of slick that gushes out of you as you cum on his tongue. his fingers slow down but never stop moving as he helps you ride out your orgasm. you're panting by the time he moves his head from between your legs, instead moving to lay next to you on the bed, his hand stroking his cock as he spreads his legs.
"cmon pretty girl, want you to ride me" he says, licking his lips and patting his lap.
you swing your leg over his, feeling his hard cock under your cunt and you grind back and forth, hissing and letting your head fall against his shoulder when it rubs against your overly sensitive clit.
you lift yourself up as katsuki lines himself up with your opening. you moan out in unison as you begin sinking down onto his cock. katsuki has to stop himself from wrapping his arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest and fucking up into you fast and hard.
he'll let you take the lead... for now that is.
your hands find his chest, feeling his muscles under your fingers and you barely have to think before you're dragging your fingers up and down his pecks, letting them slide down to the tiny red marks on his stomach from where he scratched himself earlier at the party.
you lift yourself up on shaky knees, before sinking right back down, still not taking the whole thing inside yet but slowly moving down inch by inch.
"fuck kats', your so big'" you whine out when you finally take him in to the hilt. you feel so full, your tight walls clenching tightly around him as you let yourself adjust to the stretch.
katsuki tisks, thrusting up into youâhard. "thought i told you to ride me" he says with hard slap to your ass. you whine out again at the sting but lift yourself up anyway. you begin properly riding him, sliding yourself up and down on his length, grinding your hips against his, moaning as your clit rubs against his pelvis.
katsuki lifts his head off of the pillow and pushes his face into your chest, taking his lips and wrapping them around you nipple, one of his hands coming up to toy with the other one.
he can tell you're getting tired when your movements become sloppy, so he takes that as his que.
"hold on tight" he murmurs against your chest.
you barely hear him, grabbing onto his shoulders at the last second before your breath is stolen right from your lungs.
katsuki wraps his arms around your middle and plants his feet on the bed below him. he holds onto you tightly as he pounds into you, the sounds of skin slapping against skin immediately bounces off the walls at the pace he fucks you.
"kaâ kat-suk-iiii fuckkkkk" you cant even think straight, the feeling of katsuki's cock plunging in and out of you rapidly must have your brain all jumbled because the only thing you can think of is dick dick dick dick dick, the word repeating itself over and over again in your head as you claw at his shoulders hard enough to draw blood, but katsuki barely even notices, too busy using you as a human fleshlight to worry about something as trivial as a few drops of blood.
he's close, dick twitching deep inside of your walls and he can tell by the way your squeeze him so tightly that you're close too. he slows down, dragging himself out slowly, leaving nothing but his tip in before snapping his hips forwards, knocking the wind out of you with each thrust, trying to hang on just a little long so that the two of you can cum together.
he flips the two of you over, laying you flat against the mattress with your head resting on the pillow.
"play with your pussy" he tells you, pulling away from you just far enough to let your hand slip between your legs, fingers ghosting over your clit.
"i'm not gonna last much longer" you tell him as you apply pressure to your clit, moving your fingers in circular motions.
"meâ shit, me either" he tells you, hips stuttering a bit as you clench down tightly around him, fingers speeding up the assault on your clit. "gonna cum with me pretty girl?" he asks against your neck, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
"mhmm... yeah fuck"
katsuki pulls back, angling his hips and hitting your gspot head on. thats all it takes for you to cum, body convulsing as your orgasm crashes into you, your toes curling as katsuki continues to fuck your through your orgasm.
it doesn't take long before you feel his warm seed shooting deep inside of you, pushing further inside of your walls as katsuki continues to thrust into you until he's positive he's emptied his heavy balls inside of your cunt.
you feel as it begins dripping out of your hole the second he pulls out, flopping down on the bed next to you, breathing hard and sweating. he looks over at you, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips.
he leans down and pokes your cheek "i can't believe you really left work just to come get some dick"
#shoutout to my sister for suggesting something completely different than what i had for part two#cause what i had kinda sucked lmao#bakugou katsuki#katsukibakugou#bakugo smut#bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo#katsuki bakugo my hero academia#katsuki x y/n#katsuki bakugo imagine#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bnha#katsuki bakugou#bakugo fanfic#bakugou x you#bakugou x reader#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki#katsuki x reader#bakugou smut#bakugo x you
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weird and wild takes coming out of the new dungeon meshi fandom
if you can read all of dungeon meshi and see how it revels in the eroticism of consumption and plays with themes about base instinct, overwhelming desire, loving something so much you want to take it inside you and keep it there forever...if you can read all that and think that the author would be against people sexualizing her characters then I don't know what to tell you. dungeon meshi isn't horny in the way most fantasy animes are horny, but it's a huge fault to think that means it's not horny at all in a more complex and allegorical way. sex is a huge part of human instinct, just like eating, and the wires often get crossed. its that's not a bad thing because sex isn't a bad thing, lol
#op cropped out cos this post has only 18 notes lol#dungeon meshi#but yeah you do go to hell if you sexualize the cat girl because she is 17
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a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:
paramount has come out in public support of israel
keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie
james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile
there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???
kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too
this is a complete and utter joke.
EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]
you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.
i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.
with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like⊠you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.
ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#.sbs3#yeah no i WILL be annoying about this#because what the fuck
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something new
pairing: miguel o'hara x f!reader
rating: explicit (18+)
cw: smut, afab!reader, fluff :3, grinding/dry humping, pussy-job, creampie, 'outercourse', soft boyfriend!mig
w/c: ~2k
a/n: rewrite of my old fic bc i need it with miguel. if you read it before ignore it ;^) mig looks like this fanart by @xynnoix
----
Youâre lounging on the sofa, legs resting in Miguel's lap and sitting in comfortable silence, when you decide to proposition him.
âI saw this video online andâŠI wanna try something with you.â He briefly looks up from his spider-pad, attention perked at your soft-spoken voice.
You beam at him from across the couch, an innocent smile slapped on your face as your lashes bat nicely against the tops of your cheeks.
Miguel simply shakes his head dismissively, âCariño, weâre not doing any more MMA techniques.â He swiftly turns his attention back to his work, pointedly ignoring your childish pout. âYou got hurt last time, remember?â
You let out an exaggerated sigh, âFirst, I didnât even twist my ankle during the match! I literally slipped down the stairs when we left the training area. Secondly, thatâs not even what Iâm talking about!âÂ
âOk, then what is it? WWE moves?â He asks teasingly, eyes still focused on the screen.
âActuallyâŠI wanna try outercourse-- i-is that how you say it?â You talk about it so casually that he doesn't even realize what youâre saying until he plays it back in his head a few times. The finger that was working through several urgent emails slows down as you continue to ramble.Â
â...Like pussy-jobs and grinding, I think. I donât exactly know the technical terms that are involved, but it looked hotââ Your voice tapers off when you realize heâs looking at you.
His darkened gaze concentrates on your thighs that are unintentionally rubbing together as you recall your new interest.Â
You know that look. His glaze-over eyes, furrowed brows, and tense body mean one thing: heâs interested too.Â
Despite how worked up he is, Miguel manages to gently place his tablet on a side table before slowly wrapping his fingers around your ankles on his lap.
âSo you want me to fuck you without actually fucking you?âÂ
âY-yes...?â
He hums, turning his whole body to face you.
He fluidly pulls your body down to lay flat on the couch in front of him, barely leaving any room for him to sit. You feel his hand tap the side of your thigh.
âOpen up for me, baby.â
Your loose shorts hike up your thighs as you obediently spread your legs for him, kneesbending to make space for him to scoot closer to you. The pale pink fabric displays a dark splotch over your center, evidence of your arousal and lack of underwear underneath. Miguel tauntingly raises an eyebrow when he notices.
âAw, is your pussy already leaking for me?â Your breath stutters as he lightly glides his finger over your covered cunt.
âJ-just a little.â Your thighs threaten to close when you feel him prod shallowly against your entrance. He groans, noticing how his movements encourage your slick to soak through the flimsy fabric of your shorts.Â
You whine as you feel him pull away.
âSuch a juicy slut for me.â He rasps, pushing himself closer to you so his head hangs over yours. Your head swims when you breathe in his comforting scent, he's so close, but you need him closer. Your body instinctively attempts to press up against him.
âGimme a kiss, cariño.âÂ
You immediately obey, wrapping your arms around his neck and locking your legs over his waist, effectively pulling his warmth into your space. He leans in and gently brushes his lips against yours, taking time to breathe you in as your gaze locks with his.Â
A breath is caught between you as you gaze into each otherâs eyes, drinking each micro-expression on your face. Miguel lets out a soft sigh, "You're gorgeous."
And the intense mood breaks.Â
You pull away to lightly giggle into his chest, a soft blush blooming from the edge of your neck to the tops of your cheeks. He matches your smile, watching with amused eyes as you react to his flattery.
Somehow he can still make you feel unbearably giddy despite the months youâve been dating.Â
You look back up with a crooked smile, âYouâre pretty too, Spider-Man.âÂ
Miguel dips his head in and captures your lips in his. Heâs gentle at first, slowly savoring your lips with small nips and caresses. He runs the tip of his tongue over the edge of your bottom lip, trailing a line over the sensitive skin, then pushing further against your mouth.
You whine when he licks into your mouth, coaxing your tongue to mingle with him, to taste your mixed flavor of lust.
Your back arches when he presses a finger flush against your throbbing clit. it simultaneously sends warm ecstasy down your legs and up your spine, and you can feel your center pulsing, craving more.Â
Miguel leaves your mouth as he moves further up the couch to fit himself between your thighs. His forearms support his weight next to your shoulders as he gently lets his hips rest against yours. You can already feel his stiff cock twitching persistently between your bodies.
âIs this okay?â He asks, voice husky as he considers you under him.
Your eyes blearily blink up at him before you give him a shy nod, already looking thoroughly fucked out with your mussed hair and pink lips. He experimentally pushes down against you and starts to grind himself into your body with controlled strokes.Â
The rough texture of his jeans digs deliciously into your softness, barely subdued by the thin fabric of your shorts. Pleasure zips up your spine as he involuntarily ruts against your clit with each shove of his hips. You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, attempting to smother your cries into his skin.
âThis what you wanted?â He growls, body hot and heavy against yours.Â
You feel yourself grow infinitely wetter, warmth spreading over your inner thighs. You whine as he twitches against you, your body hypersensitive to everything around you.
âMm, fuck.â He feels your slick slowly travel through the thickness of his jeans.Â
He can barely hear your wrecked voice over the sound of his jeans rubbing over you and the couch rocking against the wooden floors.
âWait.âÂ
His hips stutter to a stop, âWait?â Miguel's eyes look worried as he searches your face, wondering if something went wrong.
âI-I just want more.â You bite your lip nervously as you stare back at him, feeling guilty that you scared him.
The tension in his body slacks quickly, like cool water rushing down his back. âMore?â
You nod sheepishly, âUh-huh.âÂ
He climbs off of you and kneels on the floor to your side, âOk, can you show me?â His voice is soft and patient as he speaks to you.
He watches as you shove your hips upwards to tug off your shorts before throwing them to the side. You do the same with your tank top, then settle back into the couch cushions.
Your legs squeeze together as your sensitive nipples tighten when exposed to the cool air. You look over at Miguel whoâs admiring your bare body next to you, âYou too.â He immediately pulls off his shirt and shoves down his jeans before rejoining you.Â
Miguel kneels on the couch and pushes your legs up to reveal your dripping pussy, leaking messily from your rutting session a few minutes ago. He slaps himself over your warmth, spreading your slick over your cunt and watching it drip down to your ass.
âSuch a pretty pussy.â
Before you know whatâs happening, he positions himself against your entrance and tries to push into your cunt, tip slowly slipping into you with ease. He groans as your cunt instinctively sucks him in, walls fluttering as he begins to stretch you.Â
 âNoâwait, thatâs not what weâre doing!â You simultaneously scoot away and squeeze your legs together once you catch on to whatâs happening.Â
âWhat-â
âOutside, Mig, remember? Only outside.â You push up and lean against the couch arm, hair poofed adorably around you. âHere, Iâll show you. Lay down where I was.â You direct, moving off the couch to give him enough room.
âOkay.â He takes your place, cock bobbing with his movements as it stays desperately hard for you. You bite your lip as your eyes trace the happy trail that graces his lower stomach. God, he's delicious.
You straddle yourself over his hips, admiring how delectable he looks below you, hot and ready for you to climb on. He watches you with anticipation as you position yourself his erection that rests against his stomach.Â
His breath hitches when you sit your full weight onto him, the pressure makes him throb against the seam of your cunt. You experimentally rub yourself against the silken skin of his cock, barely holding yourself up on your knees to make it easier to move. He groans as you spread your warmth over his cock and the bottom of his muscled torso.Â
âSo wet for me, baby.â He looks up at you with heavy eyes, his top lip barely covering his protruded fangs. His hand squeezes the top of your thigh when you lock eyes.
A small piece of your hair sways over his forehead with each movement of your hips. As you grind over him, the head of his cock nudges delectably against your clit causing you to clench around nothing every time it hits you.
You pathetically puff out breaths as your stomach tightens in heat, eyes already threatening to roll to the back of your head. Lewd wet sounds lick between your bodies as you fluidly slick yourself against him.
Your thighs shake as you get closer to the edge, hips slowing down as the white-hot pleasure ripples through your body. Miguel licks his lips and takes initiative, canting his hips upwards in sync with yours, slipping himself more firmly against you.
He pulls your arms off of his chest and gathers them behind your back. Your spine arches prettily for him, ass stuck out behind you. In this position, youâre forced to surrender yourself to every push of his hips and slip of his cock.
Itâs electrifying. You cry out when your orgasm pulls you under its firey wave. Your thighs clench around his hips as your body trembles above him. The sparks refused to flicker off as Miguel continues to rut against you, body tenses as he meets his end as well.
He thrusts one final glide of his cock through the soaked petals of your cunt before abruptly pushing into you, overwhelming your senses with the painfully exquisite sensation of being stretched all at once.
He growls as your warmth wraps around him, fluttering prettily as he shoves himself deep inside.
He stutters inside of you, pushing himself incredibly deep inside of you as he cums and cums, filling you to the brim. A satisfying warmth pools at the bottom of your stomach as he paints your walls, soothing your weak body as it recovers from your orgasm.
You collapse onto Miguel's body, ignoring how unbearably hot it is as your bodies try to cool down. His heart beats heavily next to yours and everything slows down. He hums under you, gently stroking a hand against your back .
You donât know how long you lay there, enjoying each otherâs company, but you're half awake by the time Miguel gets up, with you, boneless, in his arms.Â
âHow does a bath sound, mi vida?â You lazily look up at him as he carries you to the bathroom with ease. His voice is still so...sultry.
âAm just I weak or something?â Your voice rasps harshly, âHow are you not fighting the urge to pass out right now?â
He nuzzles his face into your body, pecking a kiss against your sweat-stick throat. âI could actually go again if you'd like..."
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara smut#miguel oâhara x reader#miguel oâhara smut#miguel oâhara
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IN A WORLD FULL OF BOYS, HEâS A GENTLEMAN ! | TOM BLYTH
PAIRING. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
SUMMARY. despite being in a world filled of childish boys, your boyfriend was definitely a gentleman, always putting you before him
AUTHORS NOTE. the third installment because we love tom blyth and yn avocot. I recommend reading part 1 and 2 for more context!
tomblyth âbabe, do you think weâre together in every universe?â is that even a question?
tagged @/ynuser
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ynuser stoppp i didnât know youd actually take the question seriously
user1 get you a man like tom blyth bc oh my god
user2 idk what yn did to manifest him but i need her ways
user3 ugh idk what heâs doing with her lol he could do so much better
â„ user4 well someone had to say it..
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You didnât understand how some people on the internet can be so . . . mean. Although there have been countless of fans cheering you and Tom on, it didnât make it any less hurtful that there were still a ton who werenât scared to be open about how much your boyfriend could do better.
Itâs ironic; you think. Theyâre claiming theyâre looking out for Tom, yet totally disregarding him and his girlfriend as human beings? Those werenât real fans.
The reason for them hating you so much? Just for simply being with Tom. Everybody wanted him, that was your crime.
Everytime you got lost in your thoughts about this topic, Tom knew. Boyfriend instincts, he called them, but really, he was just a caring and observant person.
You tried not to break down over it, you really did, but a girl could only go on for so long before it all bursts out. Luckily, Tom pulls you right in, telling you to let it all out.
Although the world was filled with childish and hurtful beings, Tom Blyth was still who he was, a gentleman, attending to your every needs.
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tomblyth really dgaf if you like my girlfriend or not cause i do and thatâs all that matters
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user5 im cryinf the polaroid he has of her
user6 YES REAL MEN STAND UP FOR THEIR GFS
user7 ALL THE PICS HE HAS OF HER đ„čđ„č
tomblythswife oh to be yn avocot and be loved by tom blyth
rachelzegler tell âem đ
user8 she doesnât even comment on the posts he makes abt her, so self centered lol
â„ ynuser Iâm right next to him rn?? cant say the same thing about you âlolâ
â„ user9 OH SHE ATE YOU UP @/user8
tomblyth_daily here are some clips of tom talking about his relationship in his new interview! GET YOU A MAN THATS LIKE TOM BLYTH đŁïžđŁïžđŁïž
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user10 the way heâs so passionate when talking about her and being a good boyfriend, God I hate being single
user11 âtheyâre not even that cuteâ STFU AND GO WATCH THIS INTERVIEW CAUSE ??
user12 tom blyth said put aside your nonchalant attitudes, im looking at YOU MEN đ«”đ«”
ilovetomblyth heâs so boyfriend it actually hurts
user13 yn mustâve saved a continent in her past life to be dating tom blyth omg
ynuser girls, before you have a meltdown over a boy: think of what balleona laurent would do. kiss and manipulate coriolanus!
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tomblyth you kiss and manipulate me too
â„ ynuser youâre gonna get me CANCELLED
user14 literal unbothered icon i love her
user15 if i were her id post a tiktok with that audio âhe chose me he donât want youâ
iloveyn SHES SO FUNNY
lionsgate us when behind the scenes photo of balleona đ»
â„ user16 lmao stop whoâs the admin of lionsgate
user17 balleona is such a bad person but oh is she hot
tomblyth she was like a shot of espresso
tagged @/ynuser
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ynuser i love u more than words can describe blyth
user18 ok whoâs cutting onions
user19 GIRLS, GUYS, THEY THEMS, STOP SETTLING FOR BARE MINIMUM WHEN TOM BLYTH LITERALLY CALLED HIS GF A SHOT OF ESPRESSO, GIVES HER FLOWERS EVERYDAY, AND TALKS ABT HER ALL THE TIME IN HIS INTERVIEWS
â„ user20 YELL IT HARDER SISTER đđđ
user21 this is so dark academica im inlove with u guys
user22 parentssss
rachelzegler my favorites
ynuser SNOW LANDS ON TOP LOSERS
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tomblyth yn, i love you but
â„ user23 LMFAOO when he doesnât finish his sentence
user24 the second pic thank u yn
joshandresrivera on top of u maybe
â„ user25 IM DYING OML
user26 thank you to lionsgate for casting the most hottest villain couple ever
#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow fluff#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow angst#coriolanus snow fic#tom blyth x reader#tom blyth#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#the hunger games x reader#the hunger games
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polarity | 06 yandere! jungkook
pairing: yandere!jungkook x (f) reader
genre: yandere
warnings: 18+ , toxic relationships, unhealthy and obsessive behavior , mentions of mental health, manipulation, blackmail, cheating
word count: 21.k
summary: Your best friendâs new boyfriend becomes infatuated with you..
Playlist
Parts: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06
âïžCS | 03 JK
A/N: im delirious after editing this so if you see any error , please pretend you didnât đ„Žđđ!!! ily <3
â-
The anticipating silence filled the room as you stared down the familiar face in front of you. You could hear a ringing in your ears, the anger in your body simmering down and being replaced with sheer panic. Suddenly your mind was now moving rapidly through every possible reason as to why Hoseok could be here. Had your text messages been read? Had there been a slip up on your part? Had you mentioned him to Jungkook? What did he know? How did he know? Did they know each other? Your feet shifted to the side and you took a step back.
For a moment it felt as if this was some sort of soap opera playing out in front of you and you were just a pathetic puppet being wired by her master. Jungkook was the deranged puppeteer in this circus and you were the biggest fool of them all.
You inched forward, instinctively wanting to tell Hoseok to get away from him. Just the thought of him near Jungkook made you nervous. Let alone watching him being sat so comfortably in his apartment.
âWhat are you doing here?â You asked in a breathless whisper, the clear shock evident on your entire physique.
Hoseokâs eyes shifted between you and Jungkook, tensing up at your question. He seemed not only confused but upset. Your eyes didnât miss the soju bottle next to him. The sight left you even more than perplexed . Why was Jungkook seemingly having a casual drink with the same boy he had threatened before? How had he managed to lure him into the apartment in the first place? How was he here? The worst of thoughts began to emerge in your head.
âThatâs a little rude, isnât it?â Jungkook feigned innocence, leaning in to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear like he often did in endearment. However, in this particular moment nothing about it felt sweet or endearing. âConsidering youâre the one who invited him over.â
What?
Your face scrunched up in complete astonishment. You slapped his hand away and put more space between the two of you.
âWhat are you talking about? I didnât invite anyone.â Your voice wentïżŒup in pitch towards the end. âWhatâs going on?â
You look between the both of them, they shared a swift knowing glance at each other before Jungkook locked his gaze onto you again.
What was that?
Something was so off. Not only were you terribly confused but it felt familiar almost, terribly familiar. It didnât feel as if you had walked in on a clear betrayal. It felt as if you had walked into some sick kind of inside joke. A set up meant to leave you in the dark. It didnât felt like you were the one that deserved an explanation.
But you noticed one thing. Jungkookâs prying eyes poorly concealed something else in them. Seething jealousy. A shudder left you as you braced for what he was going to do. Youâve messed up horribly.
You felt Hoseokâs eyes on you now too, his expression changing into a frown as he studied you.
âI told you,â Jungkook spoke, his dark eyes didnât stray from you but he was clearly addressing the other man in the room. âShe was playing you.â
You snap your head back at Hoseok in shock at the words coming out of Jungkookâs mouth. You werenât expecting them but they helped confirm your suspicions. The puzzle pieces were still scattered but you slowly began to watch them fit together as you took in everything in front of you.
This couldnât be happening.
âWhat the hell are you talking about!â You shrieked out but immediately took a deep breath, feeling yourself start to lose control of the emotions overwhelming you. A need to reel yourself back in took over, a part of you afraid of triggering another panic attack that you couldnât handle at the moment. You flared your arms up as you neared towards Hoseok who looked more upset by the second.
âYou texted me.â Hoseok stated shaking his head at you. âYou sent me this location and told me to come over, that you were âreally needed me right nowâ.â
You stare at him, freezing in your steps as you rapidly shake your head in denial. What was he talking about? Had Jungkook taken your phone somehow without your knowledge? But how? He hadnât asked you to unlock your phone the other day. You hadnât texted Hoseok since yesterday, vaguely giving him a run down of your day. In fact, you had been texting him far less these days as you were determined to still let him down gently. You figured it was working. Which is why you couldnât believe your eyes at him being here. You would never tell him to meet you anywhere. Not with Jungkookâs inquisitive nature that you had barely escaped earlier. Let alone lead him right into a lionâs den.
âNo, no.â You explained, pointing towards Jungkook. âHe mustâve contacted you somehow, I never texted you! I donât understand what the fuck is going on but I never texted you that!â
This was ridiculous. You gripped your bag and slung it off your shoulder. You began to search for your phone, eagerly needing to provide proof of this insane claim but Hoseok continued his accusation.
âYou told me you broke up with him yet you led me directly to your very much still boyfriendâs place.â He continued you with a scoff. âThe text came from your contact. What the hell are you doing? Why lie about something like that? Is this a sick game or some shit?â
The text came from you.
That was literally impossible. Jungkook didnât know your passcode.
Did he?
Even if he did, you wouldâve noticed he went through it. Wouldnât you? You didnât recall leaving your phone unattended. Or did you? The days here didnât even feel real, you were struggling to recall much of anything right now. But most of all, you didnât like the guilt you felt at the thought of Jungkook going through your phone. You should be angry and you were but another part of you also felt ashamed. It felt exactly like what you had felt that morning he confronted you about your phone and how you had thought you fooled him successfully for once.
The walls were closing in on you as you finally found your phone. Your fingers shook while tapping against the screen.
âShe lied.â Jungkook chimed in. From the corner of your eye you could see him still observing you as he walked right over to the island. âShe does this whenever we have a fight, she just wants attention.â
No.
No.
No.
You swallowed, your eyes stinging with newfound tears as you opened your texts, easily finding Hoseokâs contact that you placed under a girlâs name. Your closed your eyes tightly, letting out a silent curse. You were right there was no texts of you sending a message to meet up, your screen just showed the many texts of you casually talking and politely declining to meet up with him. But it was then you realized your mistake.
These messages didnât rid you of any guilt. They only dug your grave further.
You had been deceptive. Not with malicious intent but you had been nonetheless. You had lied to not only Hoseok, but to Jungkook.The latter unsurprisingly filled you with much more dread. No matter which way you looked at it, this looked exactly how he intended it to look like. The story of an unfaithful lover that had been caught red handed with another man by her husband.
Jungkook fit the part with ease with the way his demeanor promised silence before the storm. The forced coolness in his tone was hiding a beast beneath it. You suppose you fit the part too by how dry your mouth had gotten. You found yourself suddenly not wanting to meet his scrutinizing gaze. You went behind his back, didnât you? You lay in his bed every night, ate his food, enjoyed his luxurious and in return you sneak around. Did you not deserve his wrath? Perhaps you deserved much more.
Another skipped heartbeat.
What was wrong with you? The rational side of you was slipping away little by little. It knew well that this wasnât your fault but your feelings were fighting strongly against all rationality. If it wasnât your fault then why were you hesitating to show them your phone? If you were so innocent then why did you feel so dirty? You gripped your phone painfully tight officially panicking as you delayed to turn it over like you were so eagerly planning on doing a moment ago. How could you be so idiotic? Why didnât you delete these texts? Why didnât you block him all together? Youâve not only screwed yourself over but youâve taken Hoseok down with you.
Jungkook seemed to notice your struggle, his mask slightly slipping.
â Whatâs the matter, baby?â The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. âShow your proof.â
He practically spit out the last word, twisted amusement taking over his gaze. You felt your lips tremble as you tried your hardest to swallow down a sob.
âJungkook.â You pleaded with wide eyes. âPlease, why are you doing this?â
His expression sharpened at that. Instead of taking pity in you, like you foolishly assumed he might, he glared daggers at you. His weakness seemed to be seeing you break and seeing you break down in tears. As sick as it was he did once tell you he hated to see you cry and you cling to that slither of hope that would appeal to his more softhearted side. But of course you shouldâve known better than to trust you had Jungkook figured out in the slightest.
âMe?â He asked you incredulously, his mask fully falling now as you saw his eyes flash with a familiar type of hurt you had seen in them before. The same type of hurt when you had yelled at him that you would never love him. You took yet another cautious step back, surprised at how much the look seemed to leave you completely chilled this time. You didnât remember feeling this breathless last time you had caused it.
âHow do you have the audacity to say that to me.â He sneered at you and one stride towards you had him closing most of the space youâd been creating between you. âHow about you turn over the phone screen and show me how much youâve been lying to my face?â
Another step.
âHow about you tell me exactly where youâve been all day.â
Another skipped heartbeat.
He knew whereâd you been.
âNo.â You continued to shake your head and turned your frantic gaze towards the other poor man in the room.
âHoseok, you need to listen to me. This isnât what it looks like, heâs doing this on purpose to-"
Jungkookâs cruel laugh cut you off, he ran a hand through his dark locks in disbelief. You watched in horror as he played the betrayed boyfriend role so convincingly because he genuinely did feel like you betrayed him. You felt your chest ache at the sight. Why did it ache? Why did it hurt to see him like this? Not only had you not even sent that message to Hoseok but you didnât owe Jungkook any sense of loyalty. You didnât owe him anything.
But the broken look in the large doe eyes that you had spent every night looking into since you got here made you feel like you owed him the world. You saw the corner of his lip twitch as he tried to blink away his glossy stare.
âItâs exactly what it looks like.â Jungkook stated with determination. So sure of himself. He tilted his head to the side, turning to Hoseok. âDid you know what she had just finished doing just before she received your adorable first text?â
You stiffen at his implication and at the way he comes up behind you. His breath tickles your ear as his fingers come to brush your hair out of your face and wraps his other arm around your waist. You let out a small gasp. The hand on your hair slowly runs down the back of your neck and inner shoulder. The cold sensation of his rings making you involuntarily shiver.
âOr rather who she was doing.â Before you can react, he pulls you further into him and places a kiss on the top of your head. âYou have no idea how pretty she looks on top of me.â
Your jaw hung at his awful crude words and you harshly pull yourself away from him, quickly putting back the previous distance in between you. Your face felt like it was on fire. You had nearly forgotten the undeniable mean streak Jungkook possessed. It had been easy to pretend it had never existed with how sweetly he had treated you all this time youâve shared his space and his bed. How quickly had you forgotten the many sides of him, the ugly sides that came out when things didnât go his way and when his doll had overstepped her restraints.
But it was obvious that this was more than Jungkook being cruel, he was making a point. Staking his claim.
âStop it! Whatâs wrong with you?â You didnât need to even look towards Hoseokâs direction to know how incredibly uncomfortable he was. It was clear in the way he cleared his throat and went to stand up.
âThere wasnât a need for all of this, I wouldâve never asked you out if Iâd known you two had just been on some kind of break.â
âWe never broke up, she just loves making me jealous whenever we have âŠ.disagreements.â Jungkook replied for you with a smirk spreading on his lips that reminded you of a devious child.
You were breathing heavily now, struggling to ground yourself as you felt the awful dread start traveling through you once again. It was triggered and you couldnât do anything to stop it now. You had mere seconds left before your mind was burdened by sheer panic.
âShe was just using you, unfortunately you were the perfect bait.â Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you. You watched nervously as he walked back over to the counter and leaned on it, directly facing Hoseok. You could practically hear his grin. âYou need to realize how girls work, you seem a bit inexperienced .â
Your phone dropped with a loud âclankâ but the two men didnât seem to even notice it. It may have looked like you simply threw it to onto the floor in rage but your hands hand not stopped shaking. You felt the hideous need to run your nails down your arms and face . It was taking great effort not to do so, you opted for running them down frantically through your hair instead. He was turning the tables completely and successfully. He was playing this off as a typical unsteady relationship where he made you look like the dramatic girlfriend who was simply acting out when there was trouble in paradise.
Hoseok let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head as he stood up from his seat. He seemed to be completely over it.
âWhatever, you need to tell your crazy girlfrie-"
âYou need to learn to take threats more seriously. I told you to stay away from her .â You heard Jungkook cut him off with now a much less neutral tone. All casualness gone. You didnât need to look at him to know why the air seemed heavier now, you wanted to tell Hoseok to be quiet and not poke him further but you could barely focus your spiraling mind on anything other than the feeling of your chest tightening.
âListen, I didnât think it was all that serious. She never actually told me she had a boyfriend. You canât blame me for not knowing right?â There was a slight defensiveness to how Hoseok said it and you couldnât help but feel bad. Heâd been blindsided completely. When he spared a glance at you his face scrunched up in seeming concern at your worsening state of panic.
âRight.â Jungkook nodded. His grin still present but it faltered a little when he noticed Hoseokâs gaze on you.
âHoseok, please listen to me. I-I did lie but it wasnât because of what heâs saying. I wasnât playing with you. At first I was trying to-â A frustrated sigh left you as you tried to figure out how to explain yourself. You couldnât tell him the complete truth, not in front of Jungkook. His menacing blackmail still hovered over you like your own personal grey cloud.
âTo let you down easily.â You cringed at your confession. It sounded much worse saying it out loud and you saw Jungkook raising both his eyebrows in mocking manner. You glared at the realization that hit you.
He knew you wouldnât able to explain yourself. Thatâs why he brought Hoseok here. He wanted to see you cower and admit your mistake in front of him with no way out. Perhaps he even knew heâd trigger your anxiety by doing so. Heâs managed to gather every key that unlocked your weaknesses.
Hoseok clenched his jaw, his lips set in a straight line. He looked like he couldnât wait to sprint out the door. You knew youâd find no help in him or hope heâd see through Jungkookâs manipulation anymore. Now he was convinced youâve dragged him into some unnecessary relationship drama.
âHow considerate of you, baby.â Jungkook continued his taunting but you heard his true displeasure beneath it. He turned his attention back to Hoseok and circled the other side of the island where he sat.
The apartment was starting to feel much smaller than you recalled.
âSo now that we cleared that up and thereâs no room for pesky excuses . I would very much like you to stay the fuck out of my relationship. â
You flinched at the venom in his tone. The rage heâd been burying coming to the surface and poured itself all over the last sentence.
Seeing just how close Jungkook had gotten to him wasnât helping your growing panic. He was taller than Hoseok but that wasnât what was intimidating about him. It was his entire demeanor sending off such drastic mixed signals .There was nothing worse than not knowing how to predict an opponent in the slightest.
Jungkook placed a rough hand on Hoseokâs shoulder.
You swore your heart stopped.
âAnd I suggest you start by blocking my girlfriendâs number from your phone and forget she ever existed to you.â He leaned into Hoseokâs ear, his eyes tracing back to you as that mean lazy smile remained on his lips. From the outside it seemed like the typical comrade bro hug, almost friendly in manner. Two good-looking college boys sharing some type of gossip.
âIâd hate to show you what a name like mine can do to a nobody like you.â If he had meant to whisper it then he failed terribly because you had heard his threat perfectly. âMoney talks a lot around here, Iâm sure you know that. I could make you lose everything youâve worked for or come very close to it. You wonât get a second warning.â
There was a few seconds of silence. Or minutes. You really couldnât tell.
âI get it, I swear I donât want any problems.â Hoseok replied sounding more peeved than shaken by your insane âboyfriendâsâ words. He probably assumed he was just another entitled rich boy who was throwing around empty threats because his ego was hurt.
Heâd be half right but there was a lot more wrong with Jungkook than his spoilt attitude and those threats were not as empty as he thought.
Jungkook stared at him for a long moment, whether to take in his words or perhaps looking for an indication of a lie you werenât sure but once he seemed satisfied he gave him a slow nod.
âGood.â He finally took a step away from him and grabbed the soju bottle next to him, shoving it into Hoseokâs chest. âNeed me to call for an Uber? I heard bus fares are quite high nowadays.â
Hoseokâs face flushed but you were certain it wasnât due to the alcohol.
âI can walk.â He grumbled as he began to walk towards the front door.
âSuit yourself.â Jungkook flashed him another smile, this time displaying his perfect teeth. It was an uncanny sight.
You hated yourself for not even managing to get a another word out, too engrossed in your own doomsday. The fleeing sensation of humiliation didnât have room to properly settle, overridden by much more powerful emotions that never shared their home in your tortured mind. The nails were now starting to dig into your arms, you barely felt Hoseok walk past but you for sure didnât miss l the last nasty glance he sent your way before the sound of the door slamming shut echoed through the room.
An immediate sob left your lips, your knees slowly gave out and you let yourself fall against the cold ceramic tiles. You lifted your head up slightly, watching the man in front of you with tears pooling your vision. He had never not been quick to comfort you during your attacks but this time he simply stood there with no intention of running to comfort you. Instead he let out a sigh, his eyes remained on the door with an odd look on his face. For a moment, it seemed like he was holding back a sob himself. His eyes shifting to the corner of the room before over to you. He bit his bottom lip harshly as he ran a hand over his face.
âWhy the tears baby? You caused this.â He muffled into his own hands, turning his back to you. You watched his long legs paced back and forth between the small space of where you lay. Watching him run his fingers run over his now messy hair.
You continued to sob quietly, breaths growing more shallow. How could he say that to you? You had caused this?
âGet up. We need to get you into a cold shower if you want to feel better.â You heard him order as he struggled to contain a steady tone. He turned around, placing a hand on the marble counter and leaning his weight on it causing his muscles to flex underneath his thin t-shirt. His bottom lip was now swollen and red. Eyes puffy and distraught.
It was so unfair. All of it.
âYou hacked my phone, didnât you? Because I didnât send that text to Hoseok and how else would you have knownâŠ.where I was.â You muttered the last part mostly to yourself, the idea becoming more of a fact than a theory. You had assumed he had simply followed you but if he had gone as far as hacking your phone then he surely wouldâve used it to track your location.
There was no way he had followed you either, the timing wouldnât have made much sense and you were certain you wouldâve spotted his car at some point considering how careful you had been the entire commute there.
You jump suddenly at the sound of his hand slamming down harshly on the counter.
âNo shit.â Jungkook spit out and you draw back. The abrupt action caught you off guard. You had never witnessed him physically express his anger before.
âNow.get.up.â He repeated. âI canât help you if youâre sobbing on the floor.â
âI donât want anything from you!â You shouted back, sending him the most hateful look you could muster. He blinked, eyebrows furrowing as still he refused to look your way but you swore you saw a flash of regret on his face.
He took a deep breath and regained most of his composure. His jaw clenched.
âWhat did you expect? Did you really think I wouldnât find out? There will be no secrets between us. I wonât allow it.â
Well, wasnât that just rich coming from him.
âNo secrets? I-I know what you did.â You accused in between sobs, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you shifted your body weight towards your right leg that left you in an awkward sitting position. It was hard to ignore the chills running down your entire body, your mind struggled to focus on what you wanted to scream at him.
He turned his head to look down at you. His penetrating gaze meeting yours at last.
âI know that you were the one that made my professor accuse me of plagiarism.â You said after another intake of breath. â You did it, didnât you? You blackmailed him! Just like you did to me. Just like you do to everyone in order to get your way. I donât know with what but you did.â
He was silent. Just quietly looking at you.
Your short breaths only quickened, the horrible feeling coming in waves, stopping then gaining more force. You felt like you were stuck in a mid fall. It felt like years passed before Jungkook slowly made his way over to you, your eyes traced over the slight twitch of his fingers and cubic steel bracelet around his wrist. He bent down to your level and you felt his fingers lifting your chin up at him. You knew he could feel you shaking because he angled your face towards him again when you tried to look off to the side, his set gaze halting your rapid eye movements.
âSeems like a little birdie has been talking.â He whispered to you, he almost sounded disappointed. âThat just wonât do, baby.â
You felt the sudden urge to slap him but you went to push him away instead. He caught your arms before you could do so, pushing them towards his chest and pulling your whole body closer to him. His actions were rough and careless. An indicator of just how much youâve pissed him off this time. You could feel your teeth chattering now, your panic attack reaching its peak as you felt your vision blur. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice all over you except you wished someone actually had just to rid you of this feeling.
âYou know sheâs right, you know Iâm right. Thatâs why youâre so upset.â You went on as you squirmed in his hold.
âHow easily youâve forgotten what sheâs done to you. Is it that easy to fool you, baby? Does that bitch really have such a tight hold on you still that you that you accept her words as truth without question?â He sounded a parent scolding a small foolish child over taking sweets from a stranger.
He was wrong. Your once all-consuming love for Eunji had turned into a grudge that you couldnât shake off. She mightâve been a horrible friend but why would she lie about something like that? It seemed too specific. It seemed like she knew more than she was willing to admit and for some reason that only angered you more. She knew more yet she had given you crumbs in return. Was that the plan all along or was she making you a victim of her selfish bitterness again? Even after everything, it was hard for you to believe she hated you that much.
Because you had seen it. You had seen a fragment of sincerity in her eyes earlier. A small piece of pity, no matter how fleeing.
âAsk your little boyfriend what he was doing walking into Professor Clarkâs classroom a few weeks ago.â
You swore you had heard it in her voice too. As if she had been doing you one last favor. Granting you one last bit of kindness for all those years spent together being thrown away. But the more you ponder over it, the more Jungkookâs planted seed of doubt began to grow its roots. Had you only seen what you had hoped to?
âYou accuse me of lying to you over some gossip your little fake friend filled your head with? It didnât take long for you to go running back into her arms, did it? Where is your pride?â The disgust in his voice would be hard to fake and you had to look away from the sheer sincerity in it.
âI didnât run back to her! I wanted answers and-"
âAnd did you find them?â He cut you off, eyes searching your face like something in it had already granted him the answer. âNo, of course you didnât baby. You let her have the last laugh again.â
Again
âHow would she know to make that connection and why would she lie about her seeing you walk into our professorâs classroom weeks ago.â You hissed back at him eagerly grasping to take control of the conversation that he had so easily overpowered in seconds.
God, you really couldnât breathe.
âDo you hear yourself? Youâre asking me why a girl that has been jealous and spiteful towards you for years would try and scheme against you for sleeping with her ex-boyfriend! â Jungkook sneered back and you flinched at the sudden raise of volume in his voice.
âLying comes as easily as breathing to some. Havenât you learned that by now? You really are more naive than I thought if you have yet to realize how unkind this world is and how often people like you get trampled over.â
You let out another quivering sob, growing more and more upset by his words. You might be naive but you werenât that naive to not realize that he wasnât the one who should be saying this to you. Him of all people. It felt like a stab in the chest. Jungkook lets go of your arms and brings them to cradle your face in his hands instead. His thumbs wiping away your never ending tears. His action is meant to be gentle but his grip is so tight that you feel his nails digging slightly into your skin.
âIâve only ever tried to protect you, baby. Protect you from her and from yourself.â His hot breath sent waves of shock through you, you felt his lips lightly graze your own. âHow many times must I save you from her? And from everyone who has ill intentions towards you before you realize itâs only ever going to be me.â
He lifted one hand from your cheek to carress your hair, those glossy doe eyes pulling you in and tugging at the invisible strings on your limbs and heart.
âHow many times must I prove my love to you?â
This wasnât love. It couldnât be.
It felt like something much stronger. Much too different. Your love for Eunji had never felt this overwhelming. It never felt like you were being lulled to a perfect sleep, just to be suddenly plunged into a free fall. This didnât feel anything like a secret held close to your chest, your heart skipping a beat everytime you used to see her even when youâd already seen her three times before that day. How giddy you felt at her accidental touches. How much you seemed to please her and never wanted to see her in pain. How easily it came to you to want to fix all her minor inconveniences.
No, this felt nothing like that. It wasnât a secret. It didnât allow itself to be. It was too loud. Too ugly. Whatever you had felt for Eunji, it felt five times more heightened with Jungkook. His presence felt like too much yet like there was never enough of it to actually violate you. It fit you in a way you were so frightened to admit. He had taken a piece of you that you never agreed on giving him. Yet it was that very foreign feeling that had you craving him in moments you shouldnât have. In nearly all hours of a day. You were frightened at what you had been feeling these past two weeks sharing his space. Completely terrified at what he had managed to make you feel for him in such little time.
Even now, he felt so familiar yet so untouchable.
âThis isnât love.â You replied back in a broken whisper. It was mistake and you realized it quickly but it was too late to take it back. You blamed your overly emotional state for the thoughtless response.
A few beats of silence passed with only your uneven breaths filling the room. Jungkook continued to caress your hair before the corners of his lips twitched. An almost sad small appearing on them.
âFine.â Another few beats of silence. The heavy air lingered.
You licked your dry lips as he retrieved his hand completely from you. Your eyes tracked the movement before they landed on the unreadable look on his face.
â If you think Iâm such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. â He stated lowly, dark eyes taking in your features again. âAnd it will make everything else Iâve done pale in comparison.â
His words sink in.
You hadnât wanted that all and you donât think youâve ever heard him sound so disturbed. It rattled you to the core. You jumped forward to try and salvage what was left of the ruin you may have caused yourself and others.
âJungkook n-no. I donât want that. I donât think that of you.â Breathlessly you pleaded with him. Not even a minute ago you wanted to rid yourself of his touch on you and now you were bringing your own hands to his face. The roles reversing with haste.
âBut you just said it, baby. You donât think this is love.â His sharp look was not budging. âWhat choice do you leave me if you wonât even believe my feelings for you after everything Iâve done? Iâll have to make you see it, one way or another.â
One way or another. That could mean so many things for someone like him and you didnât want to find out which method heâd try out first.
âI-I do believe them. I donât know why I said that.â
âDonât lie to me.â He said with a disillusioned look and clasped your wrists. âFor the third time tonight.â
Your fingers run down his cheeks as you as you near your face to his again.
âIâm not! Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry but please donât do anything. Iâm begging you, please.â It was pathetic . You were pathetic but you suppose you had already lost your dignity a long time ago. There wasnât much else to lose and you werenât sure youâd ever manage to have a spine when it came to the boy in front of you.
He eyed you.
âWhat it is it that youâre so afraid Iâll do?â He muttered, his breath once again warm against your lips.
You frowned. It was a trick question, wasnât it? Was he genuinely asking you?
âI just donât want you to hurt anyone.â You stressed, your fingers trembled terribly against his cheeks.
You felt his thumbs brushing the inside of your wrists in a circular motion gently. The soft action wasnât to fully soothe you but it did distract you for split second.
âAnyone?â Jungkook asked lowly. It stumped you a bit. You tried to find some clarity in his fixed look but it didnât display much of anything. In fact, you swore his eyes were inviting you to some sort of challenge.
So you simply nodded in response.
âHm.â He hummed, his upper lip lifting slightly before he nodded back.
Was he agreeing with you?
You let out the smallest sigh of relief. It probably looked pained.
His hands then fully clasped your wrists and he stood up without warning. The force of it dragged you up with him due to his locked grip. He tugged you against him as he made his way down the hallway. You kept quiet, already starting to feel your body weight itself down like it usually did when your panic attack lost its strength. The numbness traveled through your every muscle. Jungkook had released your wrists and instead guided you by the shoulder with your body remaining pressed into his chest.
He opened the bedroom door and guided you towards the bathroom. The unease in your stomach had not left but it was easier to ignore with how heavy your eyelids felt. You felt him suddenly leave your side and brush past you to go turn on the shower. You caught a glimpse of yourself on the large mirror above the black vanity sink . The teary gaze and snot dripping from your nose. Your wet cheeks and swollen eyes. Your gaze accidentally caught sight of Jungkook while he slid open the shower door. His stare was hollow.
A look you donât remember ever seeing on him before.
You looked away, unsure of what to make of it. When he approached you again, you didnât protest as he stripped you both down. Once in the shower, you kept your back to him and fully faced the shower head that washed away any lingering nerves. You couldnât help but zoom in on the ombrĂ© ceramic tile design in front of you as your mind drifted off again. Jungkookâs hands massaged your shoulders gently as he ran the loofa down your back. The act was intimate and normal. But your thoughts didnât let you rest for the remainder of the night. Not even when you were both in bed, tucked under the soft warm sheets. Not even when he cuddled beside you, rubbing your back continuously and you listened to his steady breathing.
The normalcy of it all didnât break your trance because you were still thinking of the look Jungkook had given you. The daring glint in his eyes masking the seething nature. The vacant look you caught of him in the mirror.
Something wasnât right.
â
It was ache in your shoulders that woke you.The soft gel pillow underneath your cheek felt wet and you inwardly cursed and wiped your mouth.You thought you had dropped drooling months ago. You had yet to open your eyes, wanting to stay this oblivious and at peace before a certain reality hit you. It took a few seconds for the disorientation to fade away as you slowly blinked up at the familiar white ceiling with the recessed lighting now completely shut off due to the natural sunlight illuminating the space.
You lifted your head and let out a soft groan at the stiffness in your muscles.
It was quiet.
The memories of last night came flooding back in rapidly and your stomach churned at them. You pushed them away as much as you could. If only it had been a nightmare. How much you wished it had never happened and how much you wished you hadnât walked out the door yesterday. At this point, you werenât sure if you cared about if what Eunji had said was true or not. If anything, it had left you even more puzzled about everything. Both of them had played you in one way or another. It seemed like they were taking turns, tugging on each of your arms in complete opposite directions.
You craned your neck and looked around the empty room. Jungkook wasnât in bed but he usually wasnât, he had made it a habit to cook breakfast before you woke.
Flinging your feet to the side , you climbed off the bed and made your way out the door and into the hallway. You could smell coffee and hear shuffling. When you made into the living room you came to a halt upon seeing Jungkook in the kitchen like you expected. He seemed to be chopping something on the cutting board, a tomato maybe.
âMorning, baby.â He greeted you with a warm smile when he noticed you. He was dressed in casual pajama pants with an oversized black t-shirt. His hair was messy, clearly heâd not bothered to touch it yet but it made him look more endearing.
âMorning.â You reply with a small smile of your own despite the shake in your voice. He was acting like nothing had happened and you didnât know if you should feel immense relief at that or not. It didnât feel natural but you could very well be making something out of nothing. As you approach him though, your eyeline shifts to the floor and instantly a realization hits you.
Your eyebrows knit together as your eyes search the ground and walk towards the same spot you were last night.
âWhat is it?â Jungkook asks when you fail to find what youâre looking for. You glance up at him, his curious gaze had followed yours to the floor.
âM-My phone. I dropped it last night. Did you see it?â
âOh that.â He returns to pouring orange juice into a glass, the eggs on the stove sizzling behind him. â I have it.â
You blink in confusion but try to conceal it.
âOh.â You swallow. âCan you give it to me?â
Jungkook meets your gaze and slides over the glass of orange juice to you. You thank him quietly before taking a seat on the tall stool of the island.
âAnd why would I do that?â Your in the midst of taking a sip of the juice when he says it so you snort a little into the glass, assuming heâs joking for a split second.
But you notice the raise of his eyebrow, eyeing your movements as he awaits your response.
Tensing, you put the glass down and frown.
âUm,â You donât even know what to say. âWell, because I need it.â
It came out more so like a question when you had intended it to sound like a firm reply. Jungkook notices your poor attempt as well, a smirk threatening to spread his lips.
âFor what? To text another library boy?â He placed both his hands on the counter, leaning foward. He wasnât that close but you fought the urge to lean back. His eyes narrowed into slits as bit the inside of his cheek.
His words make your mouth dry despite the juice you had just taken a sip of. Apparently the disturbed thoughts that had haunted you all night mightâve had some validity.
Yet this didnât shock you any less.
But what did you think was going to happen? You had ignored all the warnings. Jungkookâs jealous side was something you never wanted to witness again and you had feeling you were only scratching the surface.
âJungkook, I didnât do anything. I was only trying to let him off easily. I-I wasnât looking for anything else. I already explained this last night . I felt bad for what you had threatened him with when we werenât even together.â It wasnât a lie but you knew it didnât matter by the way his expression didnât budge one bit. Whatever innocent crush you had felt for Hoseok was long gone. Not only due to the sheer embarrassment that had occurred that no doubt had left him with the worst impression of you but you were not willing to put him in Jungkookâs radar again. You deeply regretted ever texting him at all.
It was too late to try to explain anything to Hoseok anyway. Even if you ever got him alone again you were sure heâd run the opposite direction at just your mere sight. He probably thought you were crazy.
This was crazy.
âIâm confused.â Jungkookâs scrutinizing gaze trapped you in place. âYou said you didnât want me to hurt anyone.â
âI-what?â
âYou said you didnât want me to hurt anyone.â He repeats lowly.
âI-I donât-â
âGood. And I wonât as long as you stay in line.â He shrugs as if heâs discussing the weather and not the confiscation of your phone.
âBut I need my phone, I need to text my parents.â
âI already did. Theyâre fine.â He gives you a tight-lipped smile but you could see how much he was trying to control the rage that traveled through him. The tightness of his grip on the edges of his counter, the veins on his hands and arms popping out slightly.
âThose petty excuses wonât work on me. You can only blame yourself as to why I donât trust you anymore baby.â His eyes trailed down you. âDid you really think Iâd be okay with you texting other men or anyone who shows interest in you for that matter?â
You looked away from him.
âNo! Thatâs not what it was like.â You sputtered, feeling that sense of guilt invade you once again.
You heard him scoff.
âHave I been too nice, baby? I have, havenât I? Because I donât know what gave the impression that you could ever run back to that bitch or flirt with others to âlet them down easyâ and think I would sit back and watch like your little lap dog.â
You watched his controlled breathing, afraid to make the slightest move that could set him off.
Deciding not to reply , you simply watched him and hoped heâd gather himself but your silence seemed to only edge him further because he pulled a hand away from the counter and reached over to take your glass away. You saw him twirl it around in his hand, your gaze fully lifting to meet his due to the unexpected action and he glared at you as he took a sip from it.
âDid you know he had a sister? Your little library boy.â He clarifies as he swallows, setting the glass back down. âShe just got married. Would be a shame if a pair of newly weds suffered an unfortunate accidentâŠor any other type of terrible luck.â
You were completely floored by his words. A full body chill running through you. You wished you had heard him wrong but the way he studied you expectedly made it all too real.
Were you that surprised though? How could you be? It wasnât the first time Jungkook had made these sort of malicious threats. It was the very thing he had done when he had gotten you alone for the first time. There was no limits for the wealthy and well-read.
What really struck you was how and why he would go as far to involve completely innocent people that had no connection to either of you and exactly how long he had known about this? Had he accessed your private texts recently or had known of them for a while now? If it was the latter that would mean he has deliberately let you text Hoseok up until yesterday. Why had he waited that long? Why didnât he confront you about it immediately?
Given your frantic state last night, you hadnât even thought about the possibility. You had thought his actions were impulsive and reckless, that he had find out about the texts when he had tracked your location. But that didnât make sense , did it? Because then why did Jungkook already know so much about Hoseokâs family? It was unlikely for even him to acquire this type of information overnight . Your stomach sunk at the knowledge that you really had underestimated Jungkook again. Because this suddenly didnât seem like a simple impulsive act of jealousy. It seemed much more calculating
âLeave them alone, Jungkook. Please donât involve anyone else into this. Iâm begging you.â You spoke gently despite the mounting fear of upsetting him with one wrong word.
âI didnât involve anyone , baby. You did.â He replied just as gently. It felt demeaning but the side of you that had began to cater to him thought he mightâve had a point.
âOkay.â You nodded. âOkay I did, Iâm sorry. You donât have to worry about it. You told him to block me, thereâs nothing to worry about.â
He pushed himself away fully from the counter and came up beside you. He gave you back your glass of juice. He seemed much taller from this sitting angle and you watched him carefully as he played with your necklace. His necklace.
âYouâll have plenty of time to show me just how sorry you are, baby.â He mumbled to you as if he was granting you a token of consideration. Running his hands across the butterfly pendant.
âBecause Iâve also withdrawn your college transfer. It really did pain me to do, I donât like seeing you upset.â You looked up at him wide eyed and tried to process what he was saying.âBut it pains me even more that you were so willing to discard me and what I felt after all Iâve done is love you.â
That rage was brewing behind his dark eyes. You realize now that it had never left, only fooled you into thinking he would bend to your will.
Discard him? What was he talking about? There was more than just insecurity behind those words. You could see the clear trigger in his entire demeanor. It was as if he was hell-bent on punishing you for something you never did.
âJ-Jungkook please, I have classes I need to finish . I canât drop out. My parents, they will-â
âShhh, itâs temporary.â He halts your rambling with with a squeeze to your shoulder. âI can get a word in to enroll you next semester or whenever I see fit.â
That didnât make you feel better but held back any protests.
âItâs all up to you really. Itâs up you to show me when I can trust you again.â He leaned down to give you a kiss on the top of your head before brushing past you and walking back over towards the opposite side again.
âNow letâs eat, I made your favorite. I hope you like it.â
You watch him turn off the stove and you were a little surprised not anything was burnt. You let him plate the breakfast without uttering a word because all that was running through your head was how stupid you were for ever letting him take care of the transfer. You had paid a much bigger price than you thought. Jungkook was no longer satisfied enough knowing he had your body and compliance. He wanted every bit of you.
Because you suspected what had truly scared him last night.
The thought of someone else taking your mind and heart away from what he thought was already his. For what he worked so hard for. He didnât want to share any side of you. He was frightened of what threat Hoseok and Eunji had both posed against him. He had you physically but it was breaking him inside that he didnât have you fully yet. Mind and soul.
That was it, wasnât it?
He wanted to frighten you and push the limits. Show a new face. A new side. Because nobody really could save you from him except himself.
He was going to show you what a mistake you made not choosing the correct mask.
â
As the weeks had gone by, you had grown more disillusioned with the hope of returning to college.
During the first week, Jungkook had not seem to be wavering on his decision no matter how much you had indirectly pleaded with him. It had been made clear that you wouldnât get far with your methods to suck up to him in the way you had.
While he welcomed your touch and over enthusiastic displays of affection, he had only been entertaining the idea of it. It had reminded you of the time heâd seen right through your performance at the cafe but unlike then, this time he had not stopped or called you out right away.
He watched how far youâd go.
And you had gone far.
By the second week you had begin to simply cater to his every need. Waking up to cook breakfast for him instead for a change, not bothering him while he worked in his office and also cooking dinner. Then you moved on to displaying more physical attention, initiating kisses and prolonging hugs despite your racing heartbeat at the closeness. You surprisingly grew so used to it that it almost began to do on instinct. Due to spacing it out through the weeks, you had thought youâd made progress .
It was not too much all at once like your previous mistake.
Your feelings were also not entirely fabricated this time which made it more dangerous. Your attachment to Jungkook had been growing as a result of the isolation he had caused you. It had already been the case before the incident and now it only grew stronger despite your efforts to keep a level head.
But you had grown desperate when the pressuring reality hit you each night of what your parents would think of you slacking off and what it could mean to not have any future planned out. To have wasted all their efforts and money just for a stupid mistake on your part. You had not been able to even access your bank account since you had been left with no phone and you had not dared ask to burrow Jungkookâs MacBook yet in order to not draw any unnecessary attention.
You thought you could gain it all back and that you had not just tried hard enough.
However, the incident that occurred the very night you exhausted your last efforts had been a horrid and rookie mistake. It was your first and only strike up until now and the memory served as a reminder to not tread in murky waters.
~~
You waited for Jungkookâs reaction as he took the first bite. Gripping your own chopsticks tightly, you eyed the meal you had spent nearly two hours preparing, making sure you had perfected it to his liking. He nodded immediately, his doe eyes twinkling.
âItâs amazing baby.â He said in between bites, eyebrows scrunched together. âReally amazing.â
A soft sigh of relief leaves you, a smile spreading your lips.
âI was nervous, Iâve never cooked this before.â You explained, licking your lips. âIâm not much a cook though, my mom used to complain about it when I was younger.â
Jungkook hummed in response as he took another bite.
âMy dad used to bake with me often though. I think Iâm better at that.â The casual comment was meant to invoke the memory of the Christmas you spent with him but you arenât sure if you succeed because his eyes drift over to center of the table.
âAre you wearing the perfume I gave you?â He asks, pulling you away from your focused script.
âHuh?â You ask then nod. âOh y-yeah. I love it.â
He had given you a new perfume as a gift a few days ago. It was a pleasant warm rose and musk smell. The gesture came seemingly out of nowhere but the more optimistic side of you thought it maybe was due to him feeling guilty for leaving you alone here the few times he went to his fatherâs company for work. It would only be a couple of hours but hours felt like days when there was nothing but yourself to keep you sane.
He had not physically locked you in here. Not that you think he could anyway. But he had other ways of keeping you here, the key card he had previously let you borrow had now been revoked. He carried it with him at all times and if there was a spare one, you had not found it yet. Of course, you could physically leave and walk out but with no key, you would be forced to hang around the lobby until he came back. You were also not that dumb to try and venture off without your phone. It created too many obstacles in your head, you could get lost or something could happen to you and you wouldnât be able to call for help. He mustâve of known that well and now that you thought it over, that was likely his main goal despite the jealousy tantrum he had tried to sell you.
Not that the jealousy had been act. Youâd seen the vicious green-eyed monster take over him.
But admittedly Jungkook had already hacked your phone before. There was nothing stopping him from doing it again. Taking away your phone was a way of keeping tabs on you in another way. You felt stupid you didnât realize it sooner though.
âI like it.â His eyes trail over you.
âThanks. Me too.â You nod, coming to smell your wrist. âGuess you know my taste well.â
He half grins at that.
âI-I was saying that my dad used bake with me on holidays and it made me remember what my mom told me last time I talked to her.â You try to steer the conversation back.
That peaked his interest.
âWhat did she say?â He asked, taking a tip of his white wine.
âShe said my dad had lost his job but she assured me he would find a new one soon since heâd already applied to another warehouse.â
He nods slowly urging you to continue.
âBut it just makes me feel really guilty that Iâm sitting here doing nothing all day while theyâre working all day toâŠ.support my education. My parents are getting older.â You bit your lip, the actual guilt really hit you for a moment.
Jungkook eyes you, tapping his chopsticks against the plate.
âDo you need me to send them money?â
âNo! W-What? No.â You let a breathless laugh out and shook your head. âI wouldnât ask that. I mean I feel like itâs my fault. I f-feel like I should be doing more.â
He leans back into his seat, seemingly processing your words. Your heart is ready to jump out of your chest.
You let out a sigh and you look around the space.
âYou donât know what itâs like to grow up without finacial stability and an easy way out. But this is eating me up at night. I feel responsible for my parents and I-I am disappointing them already. Even if they donât know it yet.â
You donât look towards him as you continue. Feeling your throat start to close up.
âI just wish youâd ..reconsider. Going to college isnât a threat to you-to us. I already live here and Iâm with you.â You explain calmly. âIf you really do love me, you wouldnât be so careless with my future. Iâve been doing everything you want me to.â
He remains silent so you decide to add to your confession.
âI-I know you donât trust me yet and that I havenât earned it all. But please, keeping me away from everything isnât going to prove my trust.â Finally, you return your gaze to him and look him straight in the eye.
âYouâre only making my anxiety worse.â
With a wide-eyed expression, you raised your eyebrows emphasizing your words and waited stiffly for his reply. The TV playing in the background on low volume completely drained out as you zeroed in on him.
He let out a scoff, turning his head to the side.
The little bit of confidence you had fizzled out.
âSo, thatâs what all this has been about.â He confirms. âYou held out longer than I thought baby.â
âNo, this wasnât just about that. I do care what you think and I did enjoy cooking for you, especially your favorite food because I-I do pay attention. I just thought youâd appreciate it more ifâŠ..if.â You stumbled over your words towards the end growing frustrated at your pleas falling on deaf ears.
âAre you done?â He asked with clear impatience when he saw you didnât continue your rambling.
The action made you halt and stop mid sentence. You werenât sure why but the sight of his aloofness made you cower. He was making you feel so insignificant. As if everything you said was a lie. As if he were dealing with a child instead of another equal with feelings. It reminded you of how Eunji had made you feel at times and you despised it.
You despised it because of how much you cared what he thought and felt about you.
âItâs only been a couple of weeks baby.â He coaxed you with a much nicer tone when he noticed your upset reaction. âYou didnât really think youâd sway me so easily, did you?â
Maybe you did.
You slammed down your chopsticks on the table and pushed yourself out of your chair. Jungkook followed your movements as you came to stand in front of him before you kneeled down, your knees scraping against the floor.
âJungkook please, please.â You were out of options and resorting to the most degrading one but you didnât care. âYou need to let me go back! M-My parents⊠I feel stuck in here! Please!â
Reaching out to tug on his hand, your fingers caught hold of his shirt and he looked slightly surprised by your actions. His eyes widened the slightest bit as he took in your frantic state and high pitched pleas.He didnât protest when you held his right hand with both of yours.
âPlease! Iâll do anything but donât take this away. I canât be locked in here all day! Please!â
You felt like cowering even more under his scrutinizing eyes. His expression soon morphing into one of irritation.
âStand up baby.â He pulled his hand away from you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to get you back on your feet. But you didnât budge.
He snapped your name.
âSeriously, stand up.â He demanded more firmly. Looking completely annoyed now by your antics.
âWhat do you think youâll gain from keeping me from going back to university ?! I have a life to return to! This wonât make things better!â You were trying everything now. Picking holes in what you thought were his plans and ideas. Trying to shatter whatever delusion had made him come to this drastic conclusion.
He let out a low curse. The chair squeaked under him as he pushed it away from the table and turned his body towards you. He dipped his head down and tugged on your loose ponytail, the action made you immediately close your mouth and shut your eyes at the stinging pain.
âYou know what I think baby?â He whispered into your ear, his breath tickling your neck.
âI think youâve become a manipulative little bitch.â
With that he stood up and left your kneeling figure on the floor. Your hands dropped on the chair he had been sitting. You his heavy footsteps down the hallway followed by the bedroom door shutting loudly. You ran a hand through your hair and held back tears at his insult. He had never expressed himself that way about you. It left an ugly wound on your heart and it triggered the undeniable people pleasing trait in you. A feeling you never wanted to feel again.
Youâd thought youâd never feel worse than how you did when you found out about Eunjiâs backstabbing nature but this was ultimately worse.
It felt so much worse.
Not him.
Not him too.
~~
It had been 2 months since then.
The rest of the days after that you had spent crying your eyes out til you physically felt you couldnât anymore. You had held a grudge against him for his cruel words and he had taken notice. The weeks that had followed had been consistent of his various forms of apologies. Heâd told you he hadnât meant it and how sorry he was for using such a nasty insult towards you. Brought you back flowers everytime heâd return back from whatever errand he went to that day. Spent the night paying extra attention to you until youâd given in to his pleading large eyes that at times resembled that of a wounded boyâs.
His sweet whispers had convinced you to the point of even more intimate forms of affection, your body falling victim to his needy touches again . In a way youâd indulged in it as form of distraction yet again. Surprisingly yourself with the way youâd tightly grip the sheets, head buried into the mattress letting out encouraging whimpers at every harsh thrust. The nights had turned into the sweet escape you needed to make up for all the hours youâd spend alone. They had felt like a reward for making it through days with no complaints.
So you had given up for the time being and taken a different approach. You werenât sure if youâd even call it that as it was more so your way of coping with the situation.
Was it? The days had started going by more quickly and at time you found yourself wondering what you were coping with exactly.
Your days were now mainly focused on new hobbies that were done in in the comfort of the apartment. You got into scrapbooking oddly enough. The idea had come to you once you rummaged through one of Jungkookâs drawers and found a kraft paper journal. Along with some stationary items youâd stolen from him, you had began to fill out the pages with different places you wanted to visit around the world. It had been something you remembered doing once when you were in middle school but you never got to finish due to running out pages on your tiny cheap notebook.
This time, youâd glued every magazine cut out, ribbon, glitter, different stickers and wrote out reasons to visit for each place. It had taken up your time along with the books youâd get Jungkook to bring you.
Comfort could help build a glorious cage.
Youâd soon realized that the time here had simply brought back youâre already introverted nature and heightened it. It made way for you to indulge in all the more small things that you had always wanted but never had the luxury of having. Everything seemed much more appealing in a large space. Youâd gotten to rearrange thing to your liking, growing more bold with the way you dealt with the kitchen or bathroom supplied as if they were your own. Integrating every one of your habits with Jungkookâs. Now you rarely thought twice before waking up and starting your routine. Your focus shifting to what you should bake that day, what you should read or write in your notebook, if you would scrapbook or finish a puzzle or simply lounge around and watch TV for the rest of the day.
The thoughts of your parents and responsibilities still lingered but in a more hidden spot of your brain, coming out in infrequent waves when your anxiety would also sneak itâs way through the edges.
Your anxiety.
It had been controlled every since Jungkook had come home with your refilled prescription last month. You had no idea when he had even found your empty bottle and took it upon himself to order the refill but you didnât complain. It had eased you with its way it had you out cold nearly every night. No more heart palpitations or sweaty palms before drifting off to a fragile sleep. It didnât rid you of it completely of course, you had your off days where it would trigger back.
The days had become more peaceful as well as Jungkook had started to spend more time at home too and taken less trips to the company. His absence was often the reason for those flare ups of anxiousness. He hadnât had any outbursts since that dinner disaster and the one heâd had before become more of a distant dream floating further and further. That wasnât to say heâd let his boundaries slip away. The mention of college was still a subject you hadnât dared bring up again, neither was the one of your phone.
It was tedious to break the habit of reaching over the nightstand to pick up your phone or the sudden urge you still got to want to look at the time or check texts and emails. It had taken you the same effort to try and convince yourself you had no assignments due anymore and you didnât need to set an alarm for anything. It had driven you nearly mad at the beginning, given your unpleasant breakdown but your mind had latched itself onto other stimulating activities to ease it.
You turned on the faucet and rinsed off your toothbrush before opening the medicine cabinet. Taking out your anxiety meds, your eyes linger on the pill bottle youâd always see. âZyprexa 10 mgâ.
You pick it up and unscrew the lid, counting the pills inside.
11.
Theyâre had been 11 pills ever since youâd first had found them in this cabinet. You didnât know why you bothered to count them everyday. The number never changed. Jungkook was not taking them and had not been for a while. Despite the worry that piled inside you, you had not had the courage to confront him about it. Of course you didnât know his reasoning or the details as to why he may not be taking it. You thought over the possibility of perhaps his doctor taking him off them but it was all just a part of the many excuses youâd made for him. You knew well why you wouldnât mention them to him. The thought of an unpleasant reaction had chained you to an invisible wall.
âYouâve become a manipulative little bitch.â
The words would too often make their home inside mind, ruining your pleasant thoughts for the day.
You screwed the lid back on and tossed them back inside. After taking your meds, you walked back into the bedroom and saw Jungkook buttoning up his loose shirt. He tucked the ends inside his well-fitted pants, the work attire hugging his frame perfectly.
âI was thinking of making brownies today.â You tell him with a yawn, rubbing your eyes as you went over to him. âOr lemon bars, I havenât decided.â
His nose scrunched up at the word âlemonâ. It was so animated that it reminded you of a child.
âDefinitely brownies, please.â You fought a grin before your eyes took in the scrapbook that was wide open on the bed.
âYouâve added a new place.â Jungkook comments, gesturing to the addition of âZionâ and the breathtaking landscape pictures you had plastered all over the two large pages.
You felt a bit shy at how nosey he had been in knowing every detail of the book ever since youâd started it. It was endearing how heâd pay close attention to every page though and how heâd encouraged you to keep adding more. He had spent one day making you describe and explain whyâd you chosen each place despite the small descriptions youâd already written on them. Most had been really superficial and non-interesting reasons, you just sounded like the typical tourist. He didnât mind though, he had rested his head on your shoulder and listened while making sly comments.
That day heâd also promised you heâd take you to every one. Youâd nearly laughed in his face but he had not broken a single smile. He had been dead serious. He claimed that at least but he seemed to know why youâd find that hard to believe given the circumstances heâd put you in.
âIt wonât always be this way, baby.â He said with such certainty that you needed to believe him.âIâm only trying to teach you a lesson, show you what you havenât yet realized.â
You didnât really dwell on what he meant by that. It was obvious enough heâd done this to get back at you but what exactly had you not realized yet? You werenât sure. In your perspective, his motives seem to be the same as they always did.
To keep you at his side.
âI think itâs really cool. I remember looking up pictures of it one time.â
âIt looks amazing, I donât think Iâve ever visited anywhere like that.â His gaze then returned to you as he motioned for you to get closer.
You held back a gasp when he grasped your waist and pulled you into his chest, your feet lifting off the floor for a second.
âI have a surprise for you.â He muffled into your neck, pressing his lips to your skin. âGod I love this smell on you.â
It was his own perfume he had gifted you a while back and you almost called out the arrogant comment but you only let out a scoff instead.
âA surprise?â Your heart had skipped a beat but you scolded yourself to remain calm. To not get your hopes up for something too grandeur. Jungkook had made it clear you had not yet earned his full trust .The path was unclear but it was considerably still long.
And that meant you couldnât have earned your phone back.
âHave you ever been here?â You turned when you felt the loss of contact on your neck and looked down to what he had pulled from behind him. He held two tickets in his hand, your eyed read over the famous name of the theme park.
âNo.â Your eyed widened as you took the tickets in your hand. âThe prices were always too out of my budget.â
The popular theme park was a known tourist attraction in this city. It was the largest in the country and you had been hoping you would get to visit it when you had first moved here for college but the money would never add up. Your funds would barely cover your food expenses at times and it left little room for much else.
It felt like you had a golden ticket in your hand, a full smile broke out on your face.
âAre we really going?â You face him, the tiniest bit of doubt seeping through your tone. The slightest bit of possibility of this being some kind of test or joke had slithered itâs way into you.
Jungkook looked almost offended by the question. His eyes boring into you as he let out a short laugh.
âOf course we are baby, thatâs why I bought them.â He tells you, kissing your cheek. âYouâve been such a good girl lately, you deserve it.â
You were going out.
You would be outside again and at one of the most whimsical theme parks to exist.
âAnd if you keep it up,â He says into your ear, fingers tracing down the edge of your shoulder.âThings might start going back to the way they were.â
His implication was clear. If you stayed in his good graces, youâd eventually get your phone back and even your college transfer back. Your future back. The freedom back.
âReally?â Your eyes tried to search for the bluff. The teasing. Anything. But it didnât surface. He nodded and smirked at your reaction, laying another kiss to your temple.
Had that been the lesson?
He had given these things so easily and he wanted to show you how easily he had been able to snatch it right back. If you had thought had been walking on eggshells with him before, that had been nothing compared to these past weeks, months.
That was the key to the lock wasnât it? Had that been it all this time? If you had wanted to go back to the way things were, Jungkook had to see your mind and devotion shift completely towards him. Truly towards him. Not in the way you thought it looked like it would please him. He had made it happen gradually, organically even.
But the pressing question stood.
Did you want to go things to go back to how they were?
Yes. But not so much that it hurt you if they didnât. Like you thought it would. Like it had hurt the first few weeks.
That in itself meant you were running out of time.
Because you shouldnât want things to go back to the way they were.
You should want to completely get rid of Jungkook and his insanity. You should want to figure out a way to escape his blackmail and invisible cage. You should want to never turn back.
But it seemed to be too late.
Because all you had been thinking about these days were how much you studied his every move, how much you had memorized every blemish or insignificant mole on his back while you drifted off to sleep. How often heâd pout his lips unknowingly when you werenât paying attention. How much youâd wish to smooth out the crease between his eyebrows just once and be able to look at him with as much love as he looked at you.
Youâd analyzed his every move, afraid of what was next but in the process you questioned why you had also memorized his every habit. His favorite foods and snacks, how surprisingly tidy he was about his closet and clothes. How normal he seemed despite the dark secrets and intentions that boiled inside him.
Because the more you stayed in his home, the more you had started forgetting what your life was before it and why those starry brown eyes seemed far more enticing than the filthy walls of a motel or the familiar humble structure of your parentâs home.
â
From the moment you entered the park, you felt your spirits go up. You didnât know if was purely the fact that you were finally getting fresh air or that you were actually looking forward to seeing everything inside. It was jaw dropping from the get-go. You were sure your fascination came from never really attending these types of attractions as a child or teenager but this one experience seemed to make up for all of it.
During the drive here you had mentioned to Jungkook that you wanted to take pictures of everything. It was a subtle hint towards your phone but in reality you werenât expecting him to give in to you even for that use of it. You were right of course, he brushed it off saying you could use his instead.
You gave Jungkookâs hand a squeeze when you spotted the growing crowds as you neared the some of the restaurants and rides but he gave you an assuring smile.
âYouâre fine.â He tugged you into his side, the breeze felt nice on your skin.
You repeated his words in your head as you focused your attention more towards all the tall rides and characters that wandered around the area dressed from well-known fables. A small giggle leaving your lips at some of the costumes they wore. They looked ridiculously cute.
The next hour consisted of you practically dragging him around and pointing to all the types of junk food that you wanted to try. The first victim was the Fairy themed milkshakes located in the Medieval village zone. They were a baby pink and blue infusion with edible glitter sprinkled on the top of the whipped cream.
âThey look so good.â You mumbled to Jungkook as you two waited for your order in front of the small stand that was shaped like a tree bark. The decorations were impressive, the led lights layered around the plastic leaves flickered but it was hard to notice them in broad daylight.
âIt looks like it tastes like a bag of sour candy.â He mused, playing with the ends of your hair.
âThat would taste good.â
He smiled fondly at that, laying a soft kiss on your forehead before he heard the order being called out. His delicate touch were the ones that always sent the most shivers through your body.
He brought back the obnoxious drink and you wasted no time in taking a sip. The flavor was not as strong as you thought, it tasted almost like marshmallow but with a fruity aftertaste.
âMmm.â You exclaimed sipping more. âTry it.â
He threw out his gum that he had been chewing and took a reluctant sip of it. You watched as he smacked his lips together, making a distasteful face.
âOh baby,â He handed you back the shake with a shake of his head. âThatâs fucking awful.â
What? It had not been that bad even if it wasnât to someoneâs liking. You wanted to roll your eyes at his dramatics.
âNo itâs not!â You gaped at him, taking another sip. It tasted perfect to you. âItâs probably because of your gum.â
âSure.â He said unconvincingly before guiding you both back towards the next destination on the theme park map.
The next victims included a corn dog, some type of corn soup and an abnormal sized cookie. All delicious to you but it had not been such a good idea to eat them all at once and then begin to go on the rides. Time was passing a lot quicker than you hoped and every stop youâd make to take a picture seemed to take longer with crowds of people waiting behind you to take the exact same one. In the exactly same pose.
The sun was setting and your legs had been started to burn now but you tried your best to ignore them. Thankfully, your anxiousness had not surfaced too much today. You thought over how it wouldâve been a very different story if you hadnât been able to take your meds again. It wouldâve likely made it impossible for you to make it five minutes in here , let alone half the day.
Your eyes observed as Jungkook took a picture of one of the brightly lit canoe rides under a bridge with a boyish grin on his face despite the contrasting appearance of his dark attire and inked sleeves.
If only the people around you knew how quickly he could turn it off and on. Not even the almost grudge type style could truly ever match how cynical he could be if he chose to. It was anything but a font.
Yet you almost felt required to conceal that part of him from others. A feeling of protectiveness over how theyâd perceive him or judge him.
It was silly considering the average pedestrian had more to fear of him than him of them but of course feelings never took the logical route.
âDid you come here a lot growing up?â You asked him as he snapped a last photo and handed over his phone to you. You had been the one carrying it around mostly due to him growing tired of you asking for it every second you saw something that peaked your interest.
âTwice. I loved the fast rides mostly.â He replied and you remembered how he had not stopped insisting you both get on the giant anchor ride. The sight of the swinging ship was a little off-putting to say the least but you werenât completely against the idea. You had already been on a couple of the smaller rides in the park, like the spinning seashell ride that had you almost tasting the donut youâd ate before getting on.
You stared down at his phone screen, his home screen lit up and unsurprisingly his background was now a picture of you two standing at the very entrance of the theme park with the jumbo size sign behind you.
It was weird to look at because of how natural you both looked in it. His hand wrapped around your shoulder, a grin on his face and you had placed a hand on his chest.You tried to find an indication that this looked like anything other than a normal and even corny couple picture but you didnât find one.
Could it be that you failed to find one because thatâs what it felt like when it was taken? And it was it still felt like right now.
âWith your whole family?â
âMhm.â He nodded nonchalantly as you both walked past down the sidewalk that had all the restaurants and bakery shops.â It was mostly my mom and I though, my dad used to complain pretty early on and just let us wander the park while he sat and waited on the benches.â
âOh.â You mumble, frowning a bit.âDid that annoy you?â
He glanced at you, seeming to think back on it.
âNot really. I donât think I cared that much back then or noticed.â Despite the dismissive words, you couldnât help but detect a bit of snark in his tone.
âStill, heâs your dad.â You remind him as he held the shop door open for you and you gave him a small smile before stepping inside. His hand on your back despite you guiding which direction to walk over to first.
âHe is.â You hear him reply behind you.âWhy the sudden curiousity about my dad baby? Do you need my entire family therapy notes?â
You grew nervous at his inquisitive tone. You had not meant to pry into his father in particular, thatâs just where the conversation had fallen naturally. For the first time your intentions didnât have much of an ulterior motive in hopes of catching him in a lie or uncovering another skeleton in his closet. It was becoming a habit to just ask him about much of anything in a way youâd ask a friend.
âI was just wondering, my parents could never take me to these kinds of things.â
You felt him look at you from the corner of your eye when you went to stand beside him to look over a pile of baseball caps and beanies on a display shelf.
âTruth is there isnât much to say about him, good or bad. I saw him as more of a burden to me at one point more than anything.â He mutters as he lifts up a headband with mouse ears on each end and tried to put it on you before you swat his hand away.
You donât know what to say to his passing comment. There was an urge to ask him a follow-up question to it but you decide against it.
âLook at these.â You pointed in awe at the sight of vintage themed keychains instead. The souvenir shop you were in had an European architectural style. You went to pick up a pair of tiny tea cups that had a floral pattern wrapped around the porcelain glass. âItâs all so pretty.â
The previous scenic gardens zone you had just been at had probably been your favorite place out of the whole park.Jungkookâs camera roll now full with photos of all the different colored tulips that surrounded the trail. It was one of the most popular attractions for good reason. Jungkook had followed you like a lost child when you kept speed walking towards the countless sets of floral faces.
âPschyology,â Jungkook says as he picks up the same tea cups in your hand, inspecting them. âWhat made you pick it as a major?â
You give him a questioning look at the drastic subject change, tensing up a bit at thought of discussing college again considering how downhill it had gone last time you had brought it up.
âUm.â You swallow. âIâm not so sure, I felt drawn to it and it seemed like a subject I could do well in. I donât know if thatâs still true though.â
It turns out knowing your psyche and patterns so well doesnât always save you. You felt more disconnected with it by the day.
âIs that still what you want to do?â He puts down the teacups, his fingers brushing over a set of tiny wine glasses.
âYes. I think so.â You try not to sound too eager. It felt like such a fragile gift he could easily shatter between his fingers.
He nods.
âYou donât have to feel like you need to do it just to please your parents baby. If you have other interests , I could always open up a way for you to do them.â You arenât sure how true that is considering he had already snatched your future away so easily until he saw fit to give it back. Who was to say he wouldnât do the same to anything else you wanted to do? But he sounded so genuine that you wanted to believe him.
You stay silent.
âWhy did you decide to study so far away from home?â His eyes study your face.
The question catches you off guard. You brought your gaze down to the items in your hands. If you lied, he would know. You were sure of it. But if you told the truth, you feared the reaction would be not much different.
He seems to understand the meaning behind your silence. A look of realization crossing his face before his gaze hardened.
âOh.â He says dryly. âOf course.â
You felt embarrassed by it all over again. Youâd already tortured yourself enough for your dumb decision when it had come to Eunji.
âAt least I have one thing to thank her for then.â He grasps your chin, a small smile playing on his lips before he gives you a firm kiss. His hand wraps around your neck as he pushes you further into him.
You feel yourself melting away, your lips parting slightly allowing his tongue to slip inside. Despite the intensity, the kiss feels playful with the feeling of his other hand pinching your sides and making you yelp.
âJ-Jungkook!â You hiss in a low whisper, pulling away. You glance around to make sure nobody is watching you. It always seemed mortifying to you for strangers to witness those intimate displays.
He laughed in response, walking past you to seemingly go look at something else. You felt a little breathless and your face was for sure looking flushed.
A vibration in your hand made you look down.
Jungkookâs phone had received a notification. You snuck a glance at him to make sure he wasnât looking your direction before unlocking it. If he had a passcode, he had removed it for today so you could easily navigate his photo gallery.
Youâd be lying if you said you hadnât thought about going through it but it had been impossible to with Jungkook glued to your side the entire time. Even on your bathroom breaks, he had not been careless enough to let you go in with it. Silently reaching out his hand to remove it from your grip before youâd slip inside.
However, the notification was not what you were expecting. It was a reminder for his motherâs birthday. Tomorrow.
Heâd set a reminder? You fought a smile at that. It seemed thoughtful given how he expressed their less than ideal relationship nowadays.
You tapped on his calendar, mindlessly scrolling down and you didnât even pretend to be shocked your birthday was on there as well but your eyes caught another date that caught your attention more. It was titled âFSâ.
11-11-20
You frowned at it.
FS.
Staring at the date, you tried to figure out why it would be significant to him. It clearly wasnât some type of appointment or meeting considering the difference in the way he had wrote those down. Had it been an anniversary? You thought back to when you had met him.He would be the type to write that day as your anniversary date. But this was a year too early. You hadnât met him at the cafe until much later.
Your fingers froze the second you pieced it together.
FS.
First sighting.
âBaby?â Nearly dropping the phone at the sound of him behind you, you quickly exited the calendar app and turned to him just in time he closed in on you.
âYou got a reminder for your momâs birthday.â You tell gently and hand him over the phone, a crease forming in your eyebrow. âItâs tomorrow?â
He takes it and types something out.
âYeah, she kept asking me if we would come to her birthday dinner tomorrow.â He tells you and you canât detect any specific emotion from his tone.
âMy dad isnât going to make it to it again.â He looks like heâs about to roll his eyes.
His mother wanted you to come too?
âWe should go.â You offer, looking back towards his phone. âI-I mean if you want to? She probably feels lonely.â
He looks up to meet your gaze.
âYou want to go?â
Would he find that weird? You didnât think so. He didnât seem to mind last time she had come unexpectedly to the apartment.
âShe was really nice to me.â You say recalling the memory that seemed far away now.
The corner of his mouth lifts up. Like it did whenever he found something you did cute or amusing.
âSucking up to your mother in law already, baby?â He teased and pulled you in. It wasnât that. Was it? You suppose you didnât mind bonding with her a bit more. The idea didnât sound terrible. The image of her or anyone sitting alone having dinner on their birthday made your heart shatter.
Would Jungkook have really let her spend her birthday completely alone?
âLetâs go, we still have one more ride to go on.â He tells you and your face drops.
âNo, please.â You complain as he tugged you forward but then looked back at the tiny pair of teacups you had put back down.
âHeights arenât really my thing, Iâm gonna throw up all I ate.â
âDonât be such a baby.â He gives you a cynical grin, picking up the teacup set. âLetâs pay for this first though.â
âI donât need that.â You protest going to grab it from him but he pulls it up higher so you are unable to reach it.
âYou didnât put it down the entire time we were in here.â
You groan as he practically drags you towards the register.
â-
The restaurant was dimly lit. It was a bit far out of into the city, located in a more calm and pleasant atmosphere that was popular for its scenic views. You felt out of place the moment you stepped in. Evidently you didnât look out of place though. Your appearance was funded by your boyfriend, your mid-length black dress probably cost more than your entire tuition. You wouldâve confirmed it if Jungkook hadnât ripped of the tag before gifting it to you a few days ago. You stared down at the Christian Louboutin red bottoms on your feet, youâd half expected them to sense your tax bracket and make you fall head first the second you put them on.
You switched the gift bag you were carrying to your less dominant hand when you went to greet Jungkookâs mother with a swift side hug. She looked lovely, you caught a quick whiff of her perfume before you pulled away. The scent was slightly familiar. She seemed ecstatic at your arrival, well you assumed her joy was mainly aimed towards her son but you didnât mind being on the receiving end of it too. It felt like ages since you had interacted with anyone besides Jungkook.
Not that you necessarily minded it, you werenât exactly equipped at social interactions with strangers as proven before. But in a way his mother didnât feel like too much of a stranger like last time you saw her. There was an air of warmth that surrounded her that at times mirrored Jungkookâs.
âHappy birthday.â You say to her , digging your nails into your palm in an effort to calm your nerves. The undeniable awkwardness you carried was hard to mask.
âIâm so glad you could make it.â She said. Her hair was styled into a slick bun just like yours and you smiled at the coincidence. She looked more elegant this time around, her heavier makeup enhanced her most prominent features.
âThank you for inviting me.â
Jungkook had been walking a few steps behind you and you saw his motherâs face lit up instantly when she spotted him over your shoulder . You turned your neck, watching a tense smile spread his lips as he hesitated to hug her. It was the most uncomfortable you had never seen him. As a matter of fact, it was probably the only time you had ever seen him like that.
He gave in at last, giving her a brief hug that seemed to surprise even her. Her eyes widened a bit at his short-lived contact and you wondered how long it has been since Jungkook had properly hugged his mother. Months? Years?
It seems like you werenât the only one out of place.
You took a seat, placing his motherâs gift beside you on the floor. Your nerves kicked in at the sight of the crowded space and far too prestigious set of silverware in front of you. Jungkoook soon followed beside you, a much more relaxed look on his face now that he put some distance with his mother. The smell of his cologne hit you and it did wonders to calm your overactive senses.
It was funny to think his scent once did the exact opposite.
âYou must be sad your husband couldnât make it, Iâm sorry I wish I couldâve met him too.â You commented in an attempt to break any of the awkward silence that could follow after that greeting.
It was a small fib , you werenât sure you wanted to meet Jungkookâs father at all with the way both him and his mother had spoken about him. He seemed rather cold by their descriptions but then again, if his mother was anything like Jungkook, you werenât sure she was the most reliable narrator.
You pushed the awfully rude thought away, not knowing where it came from. His mother had not been unkind to you and she didnât seem to carry any of Jungkookâs negative traits at all.
âAh, donât be. My husband rarely attends birthday dinners. His business trips are something Iâve grown used to.â She responds as she looks down at the menu but sneaks a quick glance at you.
âYou look even prettier than I remembered by the way, my son sure knows how to pick them.â
Your cheeks warm at her compliment.
âIt hasnât been that long since you saw me.â You hold back a laugh. It was probably the help of the makeup you had piled on to cover all the blemishes on your skin that had you appearing more vibrant.
âIâm getting old now. A few weeks feel like a decade.â She sighs and you canât help but let out a laugh this time. Jungkook is silent , looking engrossed in the menu.
âYouâre not old at all. You look great.â You reassured her and decide to finally start paying attention to the menu as well. However, seeing the prices made you nearly cringe.
You sneaked a glance back at his mother and then towards Jungkook. You chewed on your bottom lip as an unpleasant thought occured to you. It didnât seem like his mother suspected you werenât from the same background as Jungkook but what if she did? If she knew you couldnât afford any of this, not even what you were wearing from head to toe, would she assume something different from you?
Thinking back to your previous interaction with her at his apartment, his mother didnât really seem like the type. She had not questioned your family or background at all. She only seemed interested in you and what you meant for her son. You buried the thought away despite the feeling of embarrassment at the idea of her somehow knowing he had basically began to financially support your entire life. Among other things.
âIâll just get whatever you get.â You muttered to Jungkook, eyeing his menu.
He frowns.
âAre you sure? You should get whatever you feel like eating baby.â His words comfort you but just by glancing at the options, you realize you donât even know what half of it means. They donât provide much descriptions either.
Jungkook observed you and you tried to ignore the way you could feel him already grasping your issue. Him knowing you that well shouldnât make your stomach flip the way it did.
âThat one,â He gestured to the oddly named item on the left corner. âItâs a pasta. Tagliatelle with truffle sauce. Itâs really good, fits your taste I think.â
âYou got that from me liking the spaghetti you made the other night?â
He gives you a teasing grin and nods. âThink of it as white spaghetti.â
Swallowing you put the menu down and tap your finger against it.
âI hope your mom likes the gift.â You really had no idea what to get her so naturally you relied completely on Jungkook to choose. It was a high end handbag he had picked out, assuring you that it would be to her liking. Maybe some flowers wouldâve seemed more genuine on your part but you had forgotten to ask Jungkook to stop by for them on your way here.
âShe will, donât worry.â He pecked your lips before you could scold him. The PDA would never feel comfortable to you no matter how used you were to his touch by now. Much less with his mother as the main audience this time.
âMy son has always been really affectionate. Straight out the womb, he was such a cuddly child.â His mother watched you fondly, her hands now clasped in front of her. âYou two seem to match so well .â
âYes, you mentioned he was clingy.â You blurt out before you realized what you said. It sounded a bit rude.
âI mean, as a child.â You clarify and watch Jungkook raised both his eyebrows as he took a sip of his water. He seemed unbothered by the comment thankfully.
âYes, he was.â His mother chuckled at you.
At least they have a sense of humor. Must run in the family.
âWhat I mean is, Iâm glad that side of him is back. I hadnât seen it in a long time.â She explains with a more glum tone.
âAnd whoâs fault is that?â You hear Jungkook remark.
His motherâs expression visibly falls. Her smile remained but she lowered her gaze, avoiding his eyes.
âJungkook.â You whisper to him with an imploring look.
Instantly you feel a sense of not only embarrassment for her but deep empathy. She seemed so happy just moments ago. It was her birthday and that made it all much worse. While you knew Jungkook was far from fully reconciling with his mother, you had assumed he was on the right path at least. His mother himself had hinted at it. You had expected him to not make snide remarks at the very least.
Thankfully the waiter comes to take the orders before any of you can utter another word. You bite your nails nervously and look towards Jungkook for help in pronouncing the pasta meal. He struggles with it too but plays it off better than you wouldâve. The pinch between his eyebrows was amusing and he gives your shoulder a squeeze when he notices your inability to keep a straight face.
Once the waiter leaves, you donât know what to say to make things better. You donât know his mother well enough to offer any sort of distraction but you wanted to lighten the mood at all costs. You never did well this sort of pressuring atmosphere, you feared youâd start to feel claustrophobic soon if something didnât distract you too.
âLots of children tend to be clingy I think.â You look between her and Jungkook. He gives you a thoughtful look, resting his head on the palm of his hand âBut it usually fades out one way or another.â
It was a weak attempt.
âYes, I guess thatâs true.â His mother replied softly seeming to appreciate it nonetheless.
âDid you always want to be a lawyer?â Changing the subject might be for the best.
She goes on go explain that she didnât at first and thought sheâd end up becoming an interior designer due to her fascination with art when she was younger. But she ultimately decided to go to law school because her parents thought sheâd strive there and have a more successful career overall. They had been right of course, she had been a top student. She claims it was hard and one of the worst experiences in her life was attending those first days of law school along with the bar exam despite her success.
You listen to her intently, nodding along to her ramblings that at moments remind you of your own. Her mannerisms continue to remind you of her son though, the resemblance still as uncanny as ever.
The food eventually arrives and thatâs when you look over at Jungkook. He doesnât seem particularly interested in what his mother is saying and you assume itâs because he mustâve already heard it countless of times before.
âWhat about you? I heard youâre a psychology student.â His mother questions, cutting into her steak.
You pause, your eyes slowly trailing towards Jungkook who has sharpened his gaze. But his glare is directed at his mother first before it lands on you.
A warning sits behind his eyes.
âY-Yeah. Iâm just sorta taking a short break right now.â
Take the shake out of your voice. You wanted to smack yourself for having such thin skin and the complete opposite of a poker face.
âReally? Oh thatâs good. I hope you find a nice career in psychology. You seem like a very smart girl.â You smile at her words.
I thought I was until I met your son. The words sat on the tip of your tongue.
âShe is.â Jungkook confirms with a nod, stabbing the fork harshly into the piece of meat on his place. He raised an eyebrow at his mother. âShe doesnât need a career to prove that.â
His mother smiles, oblivious to what those words really mean for you. She swallowed her bite and looks between the two of you.
âShe doesnât but Iâm sure thatâs what she wants if sheâs in college.â
âMmâ Jungkook muses, holding up the piece of steak on his fork as if to inspect it. âSure, she can get a degree but I expect to take care of my wife so thereâs not a need for her to stress over it.â
Wife.
A cough leaves you upon hearing that. You tried to chew down the pasta you were sure had just gotten stuck in your throat. Blinking away the tears forming, you reach over to take a sip of water.
âOh?â His mother eyes your actions, a bit perplexed. âI suspected you two were already serious but I didnât know marriage was already on the table. Iâm glad.â
You clear your throat and wipe away your watery eyes.
âI-I,âYou gape at Jungkook but he ignores you , still looking towards his mother. âSorry I wasnât expecting him to say that either.â
âEventually we will. Maybe sooner rather than later.â He shrugs, bringing the fork to his mouth and chewing down the steak. â Thatâs the goal isnât it? Whatâs so shocking about it?â
Staring down at your plate, you swore you feel the room spin for a split second.
âNo! Itâs not shocking at all. I always knew youâd want to marry once you found the right person.â His mother beams, sounding much more pleased by the idea the more she talked. All her previous bewilderment gone.
âI think Iâd need to mention that to my parents first.â You express and send Jungkook a puzzled look.
Your parents.
The thought of them receiving the news of you in such a serious relationship that talks of marriage were already in the air made you squirm. You had barely even admitted to having crushes back when you lived with them, let alone someone close to a fiancĂ©. A stupidly foolish part of you at one point had fantasied about that person youâd bring home to them would be Eunji.
Eunji.
You blocked her image out entirely, aggressively burying it away.
âI think itâs time for you to let me meet them then.â He throws back in a sickeningly sweet stone that silenced you with ease.
The last thing you wanted was Jungkook within any close distance of your parents. Not with everything he had against you. He might be the only man whoâs ever had your heart ache terribly like this but he was could also become the man from your worst nightmares at one wrong move . To have him face to face with the people heâd swore heâd show your darkest secrets to if you didnât comply was something you werenât sure you could handle yet. The very thought of it made a wave of nausea hit you. It would be such a vulnerable position.
Even though it felt like years rather than months since that video had been taped, you knew that in itself meant you had distanced yourself from it so much that a part of you felt like it never existed. That Jungkook had never done that.
That your entire relationship with him wasnât built on lies and deceit.
The reality was too hard to face because your heart was insisting youâd give in entirely to itâs desires.
Your true desires.
And you felt like you already had.
âYou havenât met her parents?â His mother gathers your attention again. Her question lingered in the air for a few seconds before you took it in.
âUh, no. Not yet. They donât live close by.â You hope the excuse sounds convincing enough with your overly wide smile.
âAh.â She nods understandably. âI hope they can meet him soon. Iâd also like to meet the parents of such a lovely girl.â
âYes, hopefully.â Twirling your fork around your plate you realize youâre not that hungry anymore.
âI didnât see my parents much when I was in law school either and after I met my husband-â
âExcuse me, I need to use the restroom.âJungkook announced and his mother paused mid sentence, giving him a small nod. You felt him lay a kiss on your cheek before he stood from his seat.
You watched as he walked away and disappeared into a corner.
âHe gets bored easily at times.â His mother said sheepishly following your gaze.
For a second youâre tempted to ask her more about Jungkook now that the topic of conversation had shifted back to him momentarily. However, it seemed rude to try and pry about more than what you had already asked her when you had first met her. She seemed to have already over shared everything about him to you and you didnât know if there was much else to ask. Not anything significant at least. Still you were greedy for every of untold story about him, for any of those insignificant details. Surprisingly your nosiness didnât come from a place of pure fear this time. Your unease was accompanied with genuine concern and curiosity.
But you decided against it.It was her birthday after all. You shouldnât risk tip toeing over a topic that could send her back to an unpleasant time period.
âI apologize for bringing you to such a crowded restaurant.â His mother says as she looks around.
The heavy murmurs and piano playing in the background fading as you focused on her.
âI know itâs not the best place for anxiety prone people. I used to hate it here too before I got used to it and fell in love with the food.â She adds with a soft laugh.
âOh no itâs fine, really. Iâve been able to manage my anxiety a little better these days. Itâs beautiful here.â You assure her and take a bite out of your food, not wanting it go to waste.
âThatâs good to hear. Therapy?â
âN-No, I havenât gone to therapy in a while. It did help me a lot though. Iâm sure you know. Jungkook mentioned you also used to attend therapy regularly.â You bring your hand to your cover your mouth as you finish the bite.
You made a point to leave out the unnerving details of that story, not wanting to reveal how her son was first made aware of you. It was in fact a weird circumstance regardless if she was aware of his tendencies.
Her bright expression faltered. She stared at you for a long moment and blinked.
âYeah.â She said after seconds of silence."Yeah, they for sure do help.â
She tilted her head to the side and focused back on her food. You notice the tiniest scrunch of her eyebrows before she sets her lips into a straight line.
That was strange.
You watch her carefully, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to decipher her reaction.
Jungkook returns a few minutes later and you plaster a smile on your face, attempting to push away the growing suspicion that settled in the pit of your stomach. The rest of the dinner goes smoothly, not anything of substance is said and Jungkook is mostly quiet. It was odd in a way to see him so closed off when it was usually you that was the silent one around people. You suppose it was due his motherâs presence being not nearly as intimidating as most peopleâs. Ironic considering her choice of career.
âWe got you a gift.â You state the obvious once all of you had cleared your plates and a small round cake sat at the center of the table.
It had a dark chocolate spatula ribbon design on the bordes with a golden specked butterfly as the cake topper. The long wax candles placed in the middle already blown out. Your eyes had unconsciously been locked on the certain golden speckled figurine for reasons you could not begin to explain. It made you too aware of what his mother had said about the necklace.
âJungkook picked it out so please blame him if you hate it.â You lightly joked.
âYou really didnât have to but thank you so much.â She took the gift bag from your hand, giving you a soft rub on the back when you leaned over to give her another quick hug.
You settled back into your seat and watched anxiously as she opened up the bag, shuffling through the tissue paper.
She took out the teal colored handbag and you clasped your hands together, tucking them into your chest. At first, the look in her face was unreadable as she further studied the purse. She looked in deep thought for a mere second before a smile broke out, her eyes widening.
âI-this is beautiful.â She expressed and looked over at Jungkook, you turned to glance at him and noticed him watching her. Intently.
âI used to have one just like this.â You raise an eyebrow. Had Jungkook gifted her a purse she already owned? You wanted to call him out but his his mother continued.
âI lost it a long time ago. Thank you.â She told you before her gaze met her sonâs again briefly. âI didnât think youâd still remembered the exact purse.â
Looking down at the hand-bag, your eyes scanned her face before they traveled over to Jungkookâs piercing gaze. It was unflinching. He had avoided eye contact with his mother for most of the dinner but he now he seemed to be unable to look away. You couldnât describe the way he was looking at her. His jaw was clenched but his eyes held something more.
And you swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch so quickly that you convinced yourself it was your mind making you see things.
That same suspicion from earlier settled back into your stomach.
â-
It was stuck.
You pulled harder, letting out a huff as the bed frame legs loudly scraped against the floor tiles. Finally it moved and you slipped your head in between the small gap between it and the wall. Your hand felt for the piece of paper until you gripped the edges of it and carefully tried to scratch off the tape to not rip it apart.
Once you had it, you pushed the headboard back in place. Making sure it didnât look slanted or out of place. Your eyes read over what you had written.
11-11-20
You were sure you would remember it without the need to write it down but you really didnât want to put all your faith on the short term memory you possessed at the most important times. It had been the right decision because the numbers had already begun to fade when you got home that day from the theme park. The hiding spot seemed extreme but you really knew better than to risk anything less cautious. Even more so with something that could very well be insignificant.
Jungkook didnât tolerate secrets.
You knew that well now. Even if it was a one way street. It always would with him and you were starting to understand that, accept it even. But you didnât know why your gut was telling you to not forget these numbers. This date. The first time Jungkook saw you in that waiting room.
But this date could be more significant in other ways.
It was a long shot. A really long shot.
And you didnât even know why you were attempting it. You almost felt disappointment in yourself for even going behind his back again. Had you not learned your lesson? But this was innocent, wasnât it? You were only trying to access the internet to check your bank account and emails from job offers you had applied to.
But the lie settled uncomfortably in you.
You couldâve simply asked Jungkook for his permission to use his monitor or MacBook. You were positive he wouldnât refuse.
As long as he hovered over your shoulder while you did and you wouldnât be able to snoop like you really wanted to.
Your thoughts threw back the harsh truth. Jungkookâs computer was the only thing you hadnât managed to snoop through in this entire apartment. Which meant that was the closet where all his skeletons mustâve resided in. Most at least. What you were looking for exactly you didnât know. The more you circled around the reasoning you came to conclusion that it was more so you were seeking to make sure he hadnât done something.
Something you were terrified heâd gone through with since the second heâd made the disturbing threat.
Walking down the long corridor, you felt your heartbeat in your ears with every step. You halted in front of his office door and let your fingers close over the doorknob to pull the door open. The office didnât look any different from how you had last seen it. You hadnât stepped foot back inside since your last failed attempt at unlocking his computer. There was a great chance this would be your second and last failed attempt.
Stepping inside, you let the heel of your foot shut the door behind you. As you neared his desk, your eyes fell on a couple of folders and papers laid out. You pushed his chair away from his desk and took a seat on it. A familiar paranoid thought popped into your head and you whipped your head around to check every ceiling corner of the room.
Why were you doing this? You shouldnât be doing this.
Your hands felt sweaty clasping the mouse, the movement lighting up the screen. You gulped as you typed in the numbers from the wrinkled paper in your hand. The little loading icon that followed made your stomach churn.
You held in a gasp when the screen suddenly displayed a word document and multiple other tabs popped up.
You were in.
An unknown sensation went over you as you tried not to sit on the fact that heâd really had made that his passcode. It made your heartbeat faster than it already was.
Somehow it made you feel more guilty for doing this. You fought the urge to get up and sprint out, forgetting you had even thought of this but you stayed glued to the seat.
It took you a second to process before you read over what he had been doing before he logged off. But it was just a bunch of work documents heâd been typing out. They had his fatherâs companyâs name on them. He had so many files too, you werenât sure youâd be able to go through them all. You glanced over at the time on the corner of the screen, you still had plenty of time before he was supposed to be back from his errand. He had gone to drop off his car to get it detailed.
Despite that , you kept wanting to look over your shoulder at any sudden sound. You were stiff as a board as you clicked off his word document and clicked on an unnamed file. You scrolled and scrolled, your eyes trying to find something that stood out but nothing did. They all seemed work related, some even dating back to what seemed to be his college days. You moved over to his emails, squinting to read over the ones with long paragraphs. It was simply him giving detail responses to a colleague it seemed and instructions on another one. All similar subjects to his documents. Scrolling down further, you eventually came across dates that were too far back but you paused as you saw a female name on one.
A wiser woman wouldâve not clicked it but your curiosity was one of your many flaws. Your eyes narrowed at the flirty message. It had also been work related and it was dated far back about more than a year ago. It had to be a female colleague of his and the flirtatious nature of her message had seemingly been one sided due to Jungkookâs dry response. You felt satisfied reading his lack of enthusiasm towards her, it had made you unclench your tight grip on your mouse.
Why had that made you jealous?
You let out an impatient sigh as you clicked off his emails.
What were you even thinking? He didnât do anything.
He had been bluffing. Hoseok was fine. His family was fine. It had only been a warning and nothing more.
But that gut feeling wouldnât go away, that awful doubt rearing itâs ugly bead.
How could you be sure? You bit your nail nervously as you stared at the screen. You shakily opened the browser and went to Instagram. Logging into your account, you quickly typed in his name and easily found his profile. You werenât sure if he had ever followed you, you hadnât opened your instagram in a while even back when you had your phone and you couldnât remember if you had received a notification from him. It did surprise you that he had not blocked you entirely though.
You looked through his page. It was filled with the typical selfies and artistic photos but that wasnât what you were looking for. Your eyes landed on his profile icon, the pink and orange lining around it. Holding your breath you clicked on his story . The first slide was a picture of a sunset he had taken somewhere. He was sitting down with a paper cup in his hand.
The next slide made your heart sink.
It was a black screen with two prayer emojis on the center and your eyes quickly read over the caption underneath it.
âupdate: my sisterâs condition is now more stable but please continue to keep her in your thoughts & prayers. thank you for all your support, our family needs it right now.â
You let out a gasp, your face twisting in complete shock at what you were reading. This couldnât be real. You looked over at how long ago he had posted it.
9 hours ago.
You didnât move.
How long had his sister been in the hospital? What type of accident had she been in?
A tear slipped down your cheek as you thought about Jungkookâs words that day. What he had promised. Had he really done it? No.
No it couldnât be right? Your breaths became more shallow as you tried to keep your emotions in check.
But why? Why would he do this after you begged him not to? To an innocent person? How could he have done this.
Had it really been him? You thought over the possibility of it being a pure coincidence. A tragic one but one that didnât involve Jungkook at all. But even you werenât that foolish to believe in his non-existent nobility.
He had done it. He had gone through with it.
A shuddering breath left you.
Indescribable terror shook you. Any sort of benefit of the doubt you had given Jungkook was now gone. Vanished completely. Your chains didnât feel so invisible now with the knowledge that Jungkook had kept every promise.
âIf you think Iâm such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. â
Had he meant for you to find out?
Had he meant to hide it from you?
You really hated how you werenât sure.
A door slammed shut.
You nearly fell off the chair by how much your body jolted.
Jungkook was back early.
â-
#yandere!jungkook x reader#yandere!jungkook#jungkook yandere#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#yandere bts#yandere!bts#jungkook x oc#jungkook x y/n#bts angst#jungkook imagine#jungkook angst#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic
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Bite It Lick it Spit It
Billie Eilish x female reader
A/n: I don't think I need to say anything here lovelies, enjoy !!
Summary: Billie is excited to show you this new song shes featured in, reciting her lyrics to you. Until she's recreating them on you.
Warnings: smut, mdni ! Spit ?? Eating out, strap usage, orgasm denial, squirting !! Think that's it <3
Masterlist ... extra ;)
"Babyyy."
You hear your girlfriend say, coming into the bedroom you both shared. She had her phone in hand, obviously about to show you something.
"Everything alright?" You ask setting your book down. It was currently 7 pm, she had been in the small studio downstairs. Working away on something. "More than alright. I want to show you what I have so far on this remix I'm doing." You smile at her as she sits beside you on the bed, excited to hear this. You always loved listening to the songs she'd make or was in. And you were so incredibly proud that this was going to be with another big star.
'Donât have to guess the color of your underwear
Already know what youâve got goinâ on down there'
She chants and you smile just enjoying listening to the lyrics.
'Itâs that lacy black pair with the little bows'
That reminds you of a pair you own.
Wait...
'The ones I picked out for you in Tokyo'
Now she has your full attention. Sure you were listening to the lyrics beforehand, but now you're really listening. Her eyes were still on her phone, reading off the lyrics. Until her eyes met yours.
'I saw them when you sat down, they were peekinâ out'
Did she really write this about you? You had a pair of underwear exactly like the one she's talking about, you wore them alot actually. They were your favorite. Especially when she mentioned Tokyo. That was incredibly specific as that's where the pair was from. She had bought them for you as a gift when you traveled there for your birthday last year. Both yours and Billies eyes lock onto one another's. But she didn't stop there, keeping that eye contact alive.
'I'm gonna tell you right now, they're all I'm thinkin' about'
"True." She then whispers. Your brows furrow, feeling nervous at the insanity of this moment. Her eyes bore into your own, making you shift a little bit. Your eyes avert her lustful ones.
'I wanna try it, bite it, lick it, spit it. Pull it to the side and get all up in it'
You hadn't even realized she sat her phone down on her bedside table, and was inching closer to your body. "You wanna guess who that song is about." She speaks softly into your ear. You gulp, her voice delicate. Holding such filth at the same time. You don't answer for a second, trying to gain your composure. "Me....?" You question. She only smirks and let's out a small hum. Her body moves to hover over your own, instantly leaning down to kiss you. "I saw a photo of you on my phone from a year ago today. And that's what inspired me." She mumbles against the skin of your neck, as her kisses move all over the place. "Your crossed legs, in that skirt." You swallow thickly. Remembering that photo. You had your arms up in the air, sitting on a random beautiful fountain.
"That's why I mentioned how the straps were peaking out.. those baby pink bows." She bites down on your neck, making a gasp escape your lips. Your eyes shut in instinct as she continues on. "'Kiss it, bite it, can I fit it?'" The only thing you manage to get out was. "Fuck me."
She glady took that offer. Making her way down your body, getting to her destination. She pulls the pair to the side. "Wish it was the black ones." She trails off, slowly revealing your wet, sticky folds to her. Her eyes becoming drowsy, full of desire for you. She bit her lips slightly, grabbing the underwear by the top. And pulling them down, off your body, discarding them somewhere. Her favorite thing, on display for her. She had to admire for a little bit. But that just made you grow impatient. "Billie-" "shhh." She says, as her finger comes close to your puffy heat. She then quickly licks a small stripe up the middle, before she pulls back contemplating.
She spits directly onto your cunt, letting it slide down slightly. The big bit of saliva staying there for a second, before her face is directly infront of it. Her tongue sticks out and straight into your weeping, aching hole. Pushing the spit inside you. She pulls back to look at the mixture of wetness. And she did both. She managed to get you that wet. It was her spit now deep inside you. God she was proud at the thought. However she wasn't even done with penetrating your pussy. Her face is back in its original spot. Her lips make contact with your own, sending your head back into the pillows. Your hands eventually move to her silky hair, gripping as she speeds up her pace, her tongue entering you also.
It all felt amazing, when she does something unexpected. Her teeth sink into the lip of your pussy, biting and sucking all at once. It felt incredible. Why hadn't she done that sooner. "Bil.." You breathe, moaning on and off. "Feels so, good." You blab, still having your eyes shut. Feeling her lips move into her famous smirk, knowing that boosted her ego entirely. Your high was approaching and fast.
"Nooo." You then huff. Feeling her tongue move from you. Looking down at your fucked out body. Her smirk is ofcourse still visible at your little frustrated pout. "You're so annoying." You breathe, sinking into the sheets again.
"You won't be saying that in a second." Your head shot up again to look at her, but as soon as you do that a loud moan is being ripped out of you. How the hell did this woman put her strap on so quickly. She really wasn't kidding when she said 'in a second.' Impressive. A little hot in a way. Your mind turns into mush though, almost her whole length inside of you. "Had to get you worked open babe, yet you're still so tight." Another moan was to be heard, letting your eyes flutter close again, back instantly arching. Only thing visible in your brain are the lyrics to that song, and how she's recreating them all. "Guess I can fit it huh?" She then says, coming close to your face. "Speak." She orders you like a dog, when you don't respond.
"Y-yes.. feel so full." Her smirk returns to her face, picking up the speed. "Good. Just how it should." You let out another gasp again, feeling her thumb playing with your clit. This makes her chuckle, maliciously. She continues to fuck you relentlessly, beginning to let her hands roam over your skin, she pushes the baggy t-shirt you were wearing up, exposing your tits. They move in time with her thrusts. Her mind overflows with every disgusting but amazing fantasy. Your breath hitches as you feel cool metal on your breasts, looking to see her hands kneading them. How well they fit in her hands as she squished.
As her fingers move while doing so, you feel that same cold metal on your nipple making a shakey, content sigh leave you. It eventually turning into a moan as she squeezes again. She comes down to your face, your eyes were closed. "Look at me." She speaks, grabbing your jaw. You immediately open your eyes looking at her dark ones, which was always such a shock as they are so bright. Her face inches down towards your ear, she gives it a soft kiss before she's whispering. "Wanna make you squirt." Your eyes widen tremendously. If you weren't flustered before you really are now.
As you go to respond it was cut short, her thumb resumed on your clit, her thrusts are deeper, her ring covered fingers gripping your jaw. Her lips on your neck only adding to that, as she used the fuck out of you. You feel it coming, that tight knot. But you didn't have to say a word. She knew. She could feel it. It getting slightly harder for her at the way you're tightening, but that was a challenge she wanted to conquer. Obviously succeeding, she hits that gummy spot inside you, sending your mouth to fly open. "B-bil-" Yet another gasp was being pulled from you, it being loud in her ear as she continues to fuck the shit out of you.
Her pace never falters. Her thumb even speeding up as she sucks and bites your neck. You wanted to tell her you were close, as if she didn't already know. Your hands make their way to her arms, gripping as it's coming faster. "Fuck!" You screech out, you couldn't hold it any longer releasing within an instant, feeling her smirk into your neck. "And boom." She says into your ear, her voice husky. You hadn't even noticed it, but she actually did make you squirt. Your fucked out expression gives billie all she needs to know.
"Guess I'm just, that. good."
#billie eilish x reader smut#billie eilish x you#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish
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big dad vibes.
dad!ln x fem!reader
in which lando becomes a dad, and a series of moments that follow
back with more brainrot! this time itâs for dad!lando bc the baby fever is fevering and lando just had to go and talk about having kids on that podcast. my first time using social media elements as well so i hope you enjoy! ALSO! huge thank you for 3k, love you all and i cannot thank you enough for your support! đ
warnings: minors pls dni with my work! mentions of pregnancy, children, minor angst, super duper fluff, suggestive jokes here and there, dilf!lando
1. the birth
landoâs legs couldnât have carried him any faster than they already were. the hospital rooms disappeared past in a flash, his eyes scanning the hallways for one door. everything heâd ever wanted waited for him on the other side of that one door.
it was typical, really, that the one time heâd left your side since the season ended, you went into labour. heâd begdrudgingly listened when you told him to go to his meeting, despite the feeling in his gut that told him not to. lando knew, now, that his instincts were right.
the second heâd seen your face flash up on his phone, he was out of the conference room. you wouldnât have called him unless it was an emergency. everything seemed to be moving in slow motion when he put the phone down, but then he was sprinting, through the double doors before him, past the line of cars, and out towards his car, speeding away from the MTC. the traffic fine he knew he was in for was worth it.
your words rang in his ears.
âlando⊠itâs time.â youâd breathed down the phone, accompanied by a shaky laugh.
and now he was looking at the door. it opened, slowly, and there you were, draped in a hospital gown, tired eyes bloodshot and soft. you were smiling, crying, and he fell to his knees before you.
âsomeone wants to meet you.â you cooed, and then he was crying too.
lando squeezed your knee, trying to pull himself together but it was futile. the most precious ray of light stirred in your arms, how would he ever be able to stop crying? youâd created that, you and him, and now she was here.
âcan iâŠ?â lando stood from where he was worshipping you, hoodie sleeve mopping up his tears.
âtake all that off.â you replied.
âtrying to get me naked already? i thought it would be at least six weeks-â he teased.
âno, you sod. skin on skin contact.â you groaned, grinning helplessly at the man that had made you a mother.
he laughed along with you quietly, stripping the layers and sitting beside you on the hospital bed. you searched his excited eyes, melting as you placed your little girl in his awaiting arms.
and then he was falling in love.
the winter sunlight streamed through the window, a soft glow encapsulating your little family. lando sat next to you in dead silence, counting ten little fingers, ten little toes, memorising the dimpled curve of two lips, the crease between two softly shut eyes. his heart was bursting in a way it never had before, a new lease of life breathed into his body that fulfilled him more than anything ever had.
âare you okay, baby? iâm so sorry i wasnât here.â lando mumbled, kissing your shoulder. he looked up at you, scanning your tired face, knowing that youâd never looked so beautiful. you cupped his cheek, pressing your forehead against his.
âthe pain was worth it.â you quirked your lips, tilting your head so that you could kiss him. you felt his fresh tears wetting your cheeks, and you smiled into the kiss.
âi got here as quick as i could, iâm so sorry i wasnât here to hold your hand.â lando was heartbroken to have missed the birth of his first child, guilty even, but you wouldnât let that feeling linger.
âiâm just happy that youâre here now, i promise. weâve gotta name this little love.â you pecked his lips again, cuddling into his side.
youâd been backwards and forwards on names for months, never landing on anything that seemed to fit. youâd read countless lists of names, brainstormed names of people you loved, but you just couldnât agree.
âcan we talk about it later? just wanna look at her for a bit longer. like, forever.â lando mumbled, and as if she recognised her daddyâs voice, your babyâs grey blue eyes fluttered open.
âoh.â he gasped.
you watched in pure adoration as they stared at each other, neither of them willing to look away first. a bond was forming before your eyes, and you felt like the earth was moving under your feet.
lando knew, staring into big blue eyes, that nothing would ever be the same again.
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landonorris: welcome to the world, the one and only matilda norris â€ïž
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2. the race
âlando, you cannot take her into the bloody media pen!â you scolded, ignoring the bark of a laugh he let out in response.
you were midway through changing matildaâs nappy, dressing her in the tiny mclaren t-shirt that the team had gifted you when you welcomed her to the world.
she was nearly six months old now, with the cutest smile and a laugh that could bring an entire room to tears. you were at your home in monaco, preparing to descend down the hills towards the marina where the race would be. this would be her first race weekend, and lando couldnât have been more excited for her to make her debut at the track.
he also couldnât have been more nervous.
the idea of putting your baby into such a hectic environment made lando sweat, which was why youâd left it until monaco, so that you had a home base to sneak away to if it all got too much.
âare you nearly ready to go, baby?â lando came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. he was peering over your shoulder, gazing at the giggling baby on her changing mat. âand what about you, matty? you ready to watch daddy drive?â
âiâm sure youâll have her undivided attention.â you joked, turning your head to kiss his jaw. âcan you put her in the car?â
lando scooped up his daughter, placing her gently into the baby carrier. you grabbed the changing bag and followed him out of the apartment, smiling hard at the quiet nursery rhyme he was singing. you locked up and trailed behind the duo, watching intently as he secured matildaâs car seat.
âsee something you like?âlando called behind him, shaking his ass at you cheekily.
âyou know i do, thatâs how i got pregnant.â you stuck your tongue out at him.
-
the entire weekend was hectic, lando having the time of his life. heâd put his mclaren on the front row, the race flying by where he claimed second place and a rightful spot of the podium. youâd kissed him hard, matildaâs grabby hands tugging at his curls when heâd dipped down to press his lips to yours. he smirked, scheming something, and then he took the infant from under your arm, whisking her over to his interview.
âlando norris, what a race that was for you!â jenson button bellowed into the mic. âand it looks like youâve been busy off track, too! whoâs this little one?â
âthe one and only matilda norris.â lando replied, pearly whites on display. heâd never looked happier, and you could feel your eyes welling with tears. lando grabbed her little hand softly, making her wave at the camera. âproud of daddy, matty?â he cooed, and you were a wreck.
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landonorris: mattyâs first race đïž đ§Ą
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3. that time matilda crawled
âbabe!â landoâs voice echoed through the house, up into your bedroom. you were fresh out of the shower, wringing your hair dry with a towel, nearly jumping out of your skin when he called.
âwhat is it, honey?â you shouted back, grabbing your (his) robe from the back of the door.
âyou gotta come see this.â he sounded giddy and you bounded down the stairs, speeding into the living room.
âwhatâs going on?â you asked him, watching him practically jumping up and down with excitement.
âmatty crawled.â lando beamed.
your eyes flitted to your daughter, sat quite casually on her play-mat.
âuhâŠâ you said slowly. you wanted to believe him, but the evidence was not lining up. she was getting closer each day, but still seemed to be a tad far off of going the full stretch.
âshe did! i swear!â he turned his attention back to matilda, dropping to the floor beside her. âcâmon matty, show mummy! i know you can do it, sweetie.â lando cooed.
âcan i finish getting ready?â
âbaby, sheâs gonna do it again and youâre gonna miss it!â
âokay, just shout if she starts spitting bars.â you teased, turning to leave.
lando was pouting, but as if she sensed her fathers frustration, matilda had a point to prove. she pushed herself up from her tummy, fighting her way towards you.
âoh, my love.â you cooed, hand splayed over your mouth. she was growing up way too fast, but that was eclipsed by the pride bubbling hot in your chest.
âsee?â lando pulled you into his side, gleeful. you moulded into him, lip quivering as you watched her wriggle around. âoh, baby, donât cry.â he pressed a kiss to your hairline.
âhappy tears, i promise.â
âsheâs so clever, just like her mama.â
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5. the backlash
the clips circulating online made you feel ill.
lando had just done another podcast, and the topic of his family had come up. theyâd set the trap, and heâd fallen right into it, pressuring him about how he approached racing and being a father. heâd tried, bless him, but the way theyâd cut the interview made it look like little matty played second fiddle to daddyâs racing car.
youâd been in the studio while your baby slept peacefully beside you, you knew exactly what heâd said, and now the tweets circulating about your boyfriend made you want to scream.
you were no stranger to the occasional landogate, but heâd gotten a lot better over the years. lando didnât care much for the way the media twisted his words anymore, but when it came to his family, his flesh and blood, he quite simply couldnât take it.
lando hadnât come out of his gaming room all day. youâd let him marinate for a few hours, but you hadnât seen him in too long, and you were starting to panic. matty kept spitting out little strings of words, dadadada spluttering out her little mouth. she wanted him, and you needed him, so you swept her up in your arms and carried her up the stairs.
you tapped on the door, pushing it open before you got a response. he was slumped in his gaming chair, hood up, spinning around aimlessly. he looked so deflated, staring at nothing, manufactured guilt eating him up.
âhey, honey. matty wants her daddy.â you called softly, wading into the room. lando sighed, but took her out of your arms immediately.
âbetter take what i can get, before she realises what a terrible father i am.â he mumbled sarcastically.
âhey, no. donât do that, lando. donât fall into this mindset. you and i both know that youâre a fucking amazing father.â you wagged your finger at him as you spoke. he just slumped further into his seat, letting matty pull at the drawstrings of his hoodie.
âmaybe theyâre right, though. i was always so scared of this part. what if she grows up and is ashamed of me?â he whispered, eyes honing in on his daughter.
âoh, baby.â it physically hurt you to see him so down on himself. you were ready to burn twitter to the fucking ground. âyouâre the best father i could have wished for. sheâs literally a little lando! god, honey, she loves you so much. and of course she would - youâre her whole world.â
âwhen she wonât sleep with me, ten seconds in your arms, and she conked out. when sheâs bored, she only wants her dad. donât even get me started on that annoying stubborn streak sheâs showing. lando, she could never be ashamed of you. she is you.â you continued.
lando sighed shakily, pressing a kiss to mattyâs forehead before placing her carefully on the ground. some of her toys were scattered there, so she made a beeline for her orange teddy, without a care in the world for you and lando. he spread his arms for you, ushering you in and you sat on his lap, cuddling into him.
âi love you, baby. you donât know how thankful i am that you gave me this life.â he said into your chest, kissing right over your heart.
you knew everything would be okay, anyone with eyes could see how much he adored his little girl. and anyway, it didnât matter what anyone else thought; all that mattered was that you had each other, and that was more than enough for lando.
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5. mattyâs first birthday!
your house was full of laughter, shades of pink, purple and yellow decorating every surface. balloons covered the ceiling, a big 1 taking up half your kitchen. and in the middle of all the colourful chaos, your boyfriend held your one year old daughter, bouncing her on his knee.
they were a picture, a truly stunning one, two identical sets of eyes crinkling at the corners while they laughed together. your heart was bursting, nothing able to contain the butterflies in your stomach as you watched the two greatest loves of your life.
stuffed toys and little pairs of shoes covered every surface, wrapped up with big ribbons. all of your favourite people were in one room, your families coming together with all of your friends to celebrate 365 days of matilda.
matty had spent her day playing with sylvie, georgeâs young daughter, while lando took photos from every angle humanly possible. then there was the cake, which lando had let the little girl smash all over her face. youâd scold him later, the moment was far too precious.
you were caught up watching lando play with matilda, when max came up to you.
ânever seen him happier.â max beamed, pulling you into a side hug. you ruffled his hair in response.
âcanât believe we made her.â you muttered, head falling against his shoulder. you were awestruck.
âwhen are you having another one? heâs gagging for it.â max was joking with you, but the look you gave him made him do a double, triple, quadruple take. you were smirking. âwait⊠wait what?â
âsooner than you might think.â you patted your tummy slyly. âhe doesnât know yet, i only just found out last night. wanted matty to have her day and then iâll tell him when sheâs gone to sleep.â
max was staring at you, bewildered. you may have even seen a tear in his eye.
âoh, i love you guys. so fucking happy for you.â he whispered.
you caught sight of lando watching, his head tilted in confusion. you just winked at him.
-
âshe went down easy. think today really took it out of her.â lando said as he walked into your bedroom. you were sat waiting for him, hands resting behind your back.
âthank you for today, it was perfect.â you beamed when he leaned down to kiss you.
you watched him get ready for bed, stripping down to just his sweats, and then he joined you, lounging across the foot of the bed.
âhey, what were you talking to max about, babe?â lando asked.
âa gift that i got you.â you replied coyly.
âa gift?â lando looked confused, and the confusion only grew when you pulled your hands from behind your back, placing a little gift bag in front of him.
âyep. hope you like it.â you kept your expression neutral.
he picked up the bag, rustling through the tissue paper, and then he found it.
a little white stick.
lando stared blankly, eyes flitting rapidly between your face and the pregnancy test in his hand.
âbabyâŠâ he started, but he lost his train of thought. instead, he launched himself at you, cuddling you into the mattress. you were laughing while he pressed his lips all over your face, your neck, ending with your belly.
âgood gift?â you giggled, watching as his hand smoothed over the soft skin of your tummy.
âthe fucking best.â
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landonorris: for mattyâs first birthday, weâre giving her a sibling đ«¶
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6. family sized
lando norris, father of two, reporting for duty.
leo norris was born under the english sun, the late august heat making your labour a difficult one.
from the minute he was born, leo had a personality, angry, passionate eyes glaring at you and lando, a cry tearing from him that could end wars. he was gonna be a force, that little boy, not that you were complaining.
lando had fallen in love again, only having a few days to adjust before he was racing around europe, but he always found a way to slip into bed with you in the early hours of monday mornings, leo sprawled across his tanned chest. heâd watch the two of you sleep, listening out for matty down the hall.
and then sheâd wake up, and lando would lay leo by your side, padding next door to your daughters bedroom. the pitter patter of her little feet and landoâs big laugh would wake you up. mornings were the best part of your day, all four of you tucked up in bed together before the chaos began.
it was hard sometimes, but life was bliss. you had the most wonderful partner, two gorgeous children, happiness that you couldnât have ever fathomed right at your fingertips.
lando finally realised how big the world was, now that his family was often on the other side of it. he ached every second his heart was away from his kids but watching them grow, getting to see them smile, matilda clinging to his legs the second he came home, made it all worth it.
and god, coming home to you, whether you were waiting with open arms at the door or tucked up in white linen bedsheets in one of his t-shirts, was fucking delightful. you were his person, the one that gave him a reason to get up and smile, and heâd do quite possibly anything to keep you happy until you were old and grey by his side.
âmatty, what do you say when we say goodbye to chat?â lando asked his little girl.
he was wrapping up a stream, matilda finding her rightful place as his new cohost - max was hardly coping with being replaced but that was a separate issue.
lando bowed his head, looking at matty encouragingly and she beamed hard at the screen. she was two years old, with the bubbliest personality and the brightest eyes in the entire world.
âgg boys.â she grinned toothily at the camera, and landoâs squawk of a laugh summoned you into the room.
lando was logging off when you walked in, watching from the doorway. leo was down for his nap, and matty was soon due hers.
âwhat are you two getting up to?â you chimed in, leaning into the wall.
âmattyâs gonna be a gamer.â lando said in his sing-song voice, the one he reserved for when one of his kids did something that made his eyes sparkle.
âno call of duty.â you said sternly, looking at him pointedly.
âdonât worry, baby. f1 game only, sheâs gonna be a racing driver.â
âjust like her daddy.â you whispered, watching the duo high five in their matching hoodies.
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7. long time coming
lando held his son tight, watching you and matty examine tiny sea shells in the little rock pools that were forming. the sun was setting over the monegasque beach, beams of pink and orange light bathing your family as it bounced off the soft waves.
leo was wriggling in landoâs arms, the two year old boy desperate to join his mother and his sister splashing around in the shallows, but lando kept a hold of him. leo was too mischievous for his own good, cheekier than the average two year old. perhaps it had something to do with who his father was.
âdaddy, come look.â matty called, so lando waded into the water, ankle deep. that little girl had him wrapped around her finger. he cast his eyes over matildaâs inquisitive face, glancing at you for just a second, and thatâs all it took for you to steal the air from his lungs.
you were more radiant than ever, as beautiful as the day heâd met you and fallen so helplessly in love. he hadnât stopped falling in love since. youâd made him a father, youâd given him a family, youâd taught him what it was to be truly, unequivocally happy.
and now all you had to say was yes.
âthatâs lovely, sweetie.â lando cooed at matty, eyeing the handful of seashells sheâd collected. âwanna go play on the sand? we have that gift to give mummy.â lando winked at the little girl, who took off running, splashing sea water over you both.
once she was out of earshot, you turned to lando.
âyouâre not pregnant, are you?â you teased, thinking back to the gift youâd given him those years ago, who was now tucked sleepily into landoâs chest.
âhow did you know?â lando joked back.
he grabbed your hand, toes sinking into the sand as you made your way towards matty, who was fidgeting on the picnic blanket youâd laid out earlier. as soon as you reached her, lando gave her the sly nod, the signal that heâd taught her over the last few days, and her sweet little voice called out to you.
âmummy?â
âyes, my love?â you kneeled down on the blanket, eye level with your daughter.
âdaddy wants to ask you something.â her doe blue eyes twinkled in the setting sun, and you whipped your head around to look at lando.
lando, who was down on one knee, balancing his son in one hand and the biggest fucking diamond ring youâd ever seen in the other.
âshouldâve done this about four years ago, but we were busy popping out kids.â lando breathed, his eyes watery. you were already in tears. âmy love, where do i even begin? iâm nothing without you, and every time i leave you, i leave my entire heart behind, so please, will you marry me?â
tears streamed down your face, and lando sat the squirmy toddler down next to his sister, who was bouncing on the balls of her feet.
you surged forward, the force of your movement leaving you both in the sand. you clung to him, lips meeting his with sweet urgency. you mumbled a million yesâs into the kiss, no one left in the world but you and him, and your two beautiful children.
and when you pulled away, you scooped your babies into your arms, holding them tight, knowing that you were in the presence of the purest form of love.
your little family, completeâŠ
âŠfor now.
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i donât know how to write fluff lol
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bakugou katsuki finds you annoying (he canât stop thinking about you) pt. 1
sort-of enemies to lovers with bakugou katsuki <3
read part 2 đ„ part 3 (nsfw)
from the very moment you walked into the 1-a classroom, you set off a ticking time bomb in bakugou katsuki. he hated your guts.
it was early in the morning, with about 20 minutes till class started. bakugou was seated in his chair, leaning back with his eyes closed, when all of a sudden he hears this agitating, grating voice.
his eyes snapped open and flicked to the source of the sudden noise.
you.
you stood in the doorway, bowing and apologising refusely to fucking icyhot for running into him. bakugou took one look at your stature next to todorokiâs and huffed. âidiot walks into a wall and apologises. what a dimwit.â
bakugou watches as todoroki awkwardly but earnestly bows back at you with a murmured apology of his own. you pause mid-bow to shake your head, âno, no, no, this was entirely my fault!â and bakugou thinks he can feel his temple twitch when you start laughing. âgod, iâm sorry, we just look so stupid right now!â
âdamn right you do, fucking morons.â bakugou tears his gaze away from your bright smiling face and spams the volume-up button on his phone until ears (jirou) can actually overhear travis scott from his earphones and flinches beside him.
bakugou closes his eyes and sighs through his nostrils. itâs way too fucking early for this.
later that day, aizawa-sensei announces that youâd be joining class 1-a as u.a.âs newest transfer student, and invites you to introduce yourself in front of the class.
you stood beside aizawa and introduce yourself with yet another beaming smile. your bright eyes roam around the classroom from face to face as you address your new classmates, until they land on bakugou, who narrows his eyes and glares at you.
bakugou feels a strange sense of satisfaction, watching you stutter mid-sentence, and he thinks youâre such an idiot, but then your eyes quickly dart away to look elsewhere and bakugou is somehow even more pissed off by you.
so he grinds his teeth and tears his gaze away from you once more to look out the window.
the rest of the week goes smoothly for you as you quickly befriended the class. with the exception of one, everyone seemed friendly and warm and genuinely interested to get to know more about you and your quirk. likewise, you were just as curious and enthusiastic about getting to know your classmates. with the exception of one.
you ignored bakugou like the plague â just as heâd wanted, bakugou thinks. youâre an eyesore, the way youâre all smiley and giggly, all of the damn time. bakugou hates it, hates the look in your eyes, like youâre so damn happy and youâre somehow just always having the time of your damn life.
âjust another fucking weakling who wonât last.â
it doesnât take bakugou a long time to realise that his judgement of you was entirely off. you were in fact, not a weakling. you were strong, and you proved it every single time, putting your all in every training and going above and beyond with your hand stretched out to anyone who needed it, all the while with that damn smile on your face.
one training, bakugou busted one of his gauntlets. he had expected it, had already sensed that something was off when he was gearing up before training. he cursed under his breath and went to remove it, when you suddenly spawned by his side and scared the living shit out of him.
not that heâd ever admit it, but hearing your voice was enough to make his hair stand on end.
âhey, um, do you need help with that?â you asked, and bakugou freezed as you looked at him with those big, innocent eyes. âyour gear, i mean.â
âhah?â bakugou flares up instinctively. itâs his default response to being approached, after all. âthe fuck do you know about fixing jackshit?â
âoh, um, i tinker with a bunch of random stuff sometimes, so i figured maybe i couldââ
âlike hell iâm gonna let some idiot like you tinker with my shit,â bakugou sneers at you, and you flinch but you donât take a step back. âfind somethinâ else ta do if yer bored, sunshine.â
âsunshineâ whatââ you genuinely look a little concerned and even a little offended as you guffaw over bakugouâs words. âmy quirk has nothing to do with sunshine!â
âhah?! ya think iâm stupid or some shit?! âcourse i know that itâs got shit to do with the sun, moron!â
âthen why in the world would you call me that?!â
âiâll call you whatever the fuck i want, shitface!â
then, class prez tenya iida dashes to break up the âfightâ. âYOU TWO!!! BAKUGOU ESPECIALLY, CEASE YOUR SQUABBLING THIS INSTANT!!! SUCH PROFANITY IS NOT BECOMING OF A FUTUREââ
later that evening, you find yourself seated on the couch watching alien: covenant in the common room with kirishima, kaminara, sero and mina. however, youâre not paying much attention to whatever that egomaniac davidâs doing in the movie, youâre still dwelling on how horribly your first proper interaction with bakugou had gone.
ây/n, darling, would you please tell us whatâs wrong? this is, like, the tenth time youâve sighed, and i know david is not that hot,â mina nudges your arm with an elbow. kaminari squawks in defiance, crying out that âif davidâs not hot, iâm toast!â and kirishima reassuring him that heâll be just fine, because âdavidâs just not manly, man!â.
âyeah, itâs not david,â you sighed yet again, and mina facepalms so hard you wince. âsorry, itâs just, iâm still a little peeved by what happened during training today.â
âbakugou, huh?â kirishima shoots you a wry smile, nodding sympathetically. âdonât mind it too much, bakugouâs just always like that!â
âi know, i know, but why the fuck did he call me sunshine?â you groaned, grabbing the nearest pillow and shoving your face into it.
âholy shit, okay, guys, this must be really bad,â kaminari shoots up from his horrendous slouched position and grabs seroâs shoulders to shake him like itâs the end of the world. ây/n just swore, and bakugou is acting up! i mean, that doesnât sound like bakugou at all!â
âokay, firstly, kaminari, i hate to break it to you, bud, but i swear. like, a lot,â you dropped the pillow in your lap. âsecondly, what do you mean bakugouâs acting up? doesnât he call everyone names all the time?â
âyeah, insultingly,â jirou walks by the common room and chimes in. she points at the earphone jacks dangling from her ears. âiâm âears.ââ
âiâm pinky,â mina hums in agreement.
âsoy-sauce face,â sero deadpans.
âdunceface!â kaminari high-fives sero.
âand bakugou calls me shitty hair,â kirishima completes with a sigh. âwhat did he call you again?â
âmoron, sunshine, and shitface, i think?â an awkward silence falls over the room, and you frown. âwhat? what does that mean? does he, like, really hate the sun or something?â
ââŠnot that i know of? but it sounds like, uh,â kirishima scratches his head and gives you another one of those wry smiles. âsounds like you donât completely piss bakugou off.â
extras:
yes that was an abby miller reference
yes i have walked into a wall yes i apologised
i REALLY wanna watch alien romulus in cinemas soon PLS NO SPOILERS
taglist (thank you for your support!!): @anicaaa67 @maddietries @valeriyaaak @v3n7s @deimosjay @zaiban2989 @girls-overflower @notmeduhh @dreamcastgirl99 @busdriver-move-that-ass @atashiboba @kathsuhki @armeenix @channnee @antiwhores @sukunasbottomlefteyeball @kenqki @vikizzy @thesimpybitch @eempxth @hanta-seros-wifey @itztaki @thekidscallmebosss
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