#I want to make things
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I want to make art, but I'm exhausted for some reason. I hate this.
#I've not been productive much at all lately#and it's really bothering me#I want to make things#I want to do work#I want to do so much#But I'm just tired#and don't feel good#I hate it#vent post#cw vent#artists on tumblr
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Thought#85 of ?
I’m losing the battle, I’m making Mom a blanket-
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i ran out of multiple colors of thread for two different embroidery projects so i’m faced with two options, i can either 1) start another one to scratch the itch that my other crafts just aren’t scratching and wait until tomorrow to go to michaels or 2) shamelessly pay 10 dollars same day shipping and make an underpaid retail worker pick out 30 individual colors
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I want to create. With this heart, this mind, this sensitive soul, I was made to be a creative; engineered before broken down for parts. And yet, I am without. Without words, movement, image, or sound. No painter's brush, no click-clack of a typewriter, no red light of a darkroom. I am bursting with want, but these fingers are frozen; this mind shrouded in a mist so bleak, I find myself unable to see the path ahead.
15/11/23: i'm in my feels. the irony of this post isn't lost on me, i'm just indulging myself.
#chatty lamps#tmi tag#i want to make things#i want it to be fun#i want to unpack some of the shit i have inside me under all of this emotional matting*#i want to make something meaningful. i want it to be recieved well. i want others to give a shit. i want to give a shit.#i want to feel proud. ugh that's so dramatic. ignore that#i put on a playlist thinking it would be background music to read to and yet here i am writing this silly post#no more emotional music! i'm being too honest. ew i'm gonna go and be embarrassed in my little corner#love y'all#*matting as in hair matting. i've been watching a lot of animal grooming vids and i guess i'm making a connection between the#relief the animal feels when they have thick matting removed to the feeling of catharsis when creating or something idk#i'm not always this emo. promise.
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This has been me since season 5 came out
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…i should work with solidworks more so i can make stuff
#i want to make things#let me#create things#let me into the machine shop I wanna make stuff out of aluminum stock
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i made a list of jewelry making tools a couple of youtube videos recommended for beginners and so i am checking my bank account…
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If people keep saying nice things about my web weaves im gonna start crying holy shit ;-;
I would be So motivated to work on one rn if I didn't have a migraine that's making screens warp when I look at them. Taking a nap and hoping that resets my brain bc I want so much to jump into another one now that I've hit some kind of dopamine payoff threshold for the first ones
#salem chatter#someone wants to print the last panel for their fucking wall??? like what#im so mad at my brain. stop being photosensitive#i want to make things
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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might continue work on this one,, ✨✨
#dungeon meshi#farcille#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#marcille donato#falin touden#clay does art#listen if I aim to do one thing. it’s make characters look at each other with so much tenderness#I feel like I learned a lot w this !!! impatient and wanted to post ajdhjfj#also quite happy w the hands#if I properly finish it I’ll reblog that version or smth#id in alt text#LOTS OF LEYENDECKER USED FOR REF!!!! mr leyedecker i owe u the world
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#real life#girl thoughts#this is what makes us girls#girly blog#hell is a teenage girl#follow this blog for more#girl blogger#girly tumblr#new blogger#born to die#girlhood#this is a girlblog#girl blogging#i love being a girl#girly stuff#tumblr girls#girlblogging#just girly things#im just a girl#my blog#blogging#pink blog#bed rotting#girl rotting#what is life#i hate everything#quoteoftheday#i want to disappear#mentally unstable#hell is a place on earth
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sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)
plus:
#gale dekarios#shadowheart#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#my art#want to promote a greater shovel presence in the fanbase. where is all the shovel content. where is my beautiful daughter#she is gale's familiar. to me.#he may not necessarily *want* shovel#but it's too late now#he's her wizard it might be more apt to say#tara is not in any way shape or form a familiar she's like. his aunt.#also i have GOT to develop a faster way of making things like i have so many dumb joke ideas i can’t be rendering shit. unsustainable! 😭😭
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I feel overwhelmed with the need to create but even more overwhelmed with the need to be so cozy and comfy in bed
#I WANT TO MAKE THINGS#I WANT TO DRAW OR PAINT OR CRAFT OR JUST DO SOMETHING#BUT IM SO. FUCKING. EXHAUSTED.
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Today's Seal Is: The Third Wheel
#seals#pinniped#daily#mod ribbon#phocidae#baikal seal#I wanted to make a fujo joke. but this thing just looks so sad
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