#I want to make things
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I’m currently too ill to web weave :(((( truly unfair
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I want to make art, but I'm exhausted for some reason. I hate this.
#I've not been productive much at all lately#and it's really bothering me#I want to make things#I want to do work#I want to do so much#But I'm just tired#and don't feel good#I hate it#vent post#cw vent#artists on tumblr
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Thought#85 of ?
I’m losing the battle, I’m making Mom a blanket-
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I want to create. With this heart, this mind, this sensitive soul, I was made to be a creative; engineered before broken down for parts. And yet, I am without. Without words, movement, image, or sound. No painter's brush, no click-clack of a typewriter, no red light of a darkroom. I am bursting with want, but these fingers are frozen; this mind shrouded in a mist so bleak, I find myself unable to see the path ahead.
15/11/23: i'm in my feels. the irony of this post isn't lost on me, i'm just indulging myself.
#chatty lamps#tmi tag#i want to make things#i want it to be fun#i want to unpack some of the shit i have inside me under all of this emotional matting*#i want to make something meaningful. i want it to be recieved well. i want others to give a shit. i want to give a shit.#i want to feel proud. ugh that's so dramatic. ignore that#i put on a playlist thinking it would be background music to read to and yet here i am writing this silly post#no more emotional music! i'm being too honest. ew i'm gonna go and be embarrassed in my little corner#love y'all#*matting as in hair matting. i've been watching a lot of animal grooming vids and i guess i'm making a connection between the#relief the animal feels when they have thick matting removed to the feeling of catharsis when creating or something idk#i'm not always this emo. promise.
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This has been me since season 5 came out
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…i should work with solidworks more so i can make stuff
#i want to make things#let me#create things#let me into the machine shop I wanna make stuff out of aluminum stock
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girlblogger#girlblogging#im just a girl#lana del rey#coquette#girl blog#girl blogger#hyper feminine#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lizzy grant#why am i like this#girl interupted syndrome#im going to kms#im going insane#this is a girlblog#blythe doll#just girly things#i just want to be thin#3d not sheeran#self h@rm#send help#attention wh0r3#female rage#runaway#hell is a teenage girl#this is what makes us girls#female hysteria#girlblog
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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your last light
#artists on tumblr#every now and then i go on instagram for the sole purpose of crossposting art there#i open the page and the first thing i see is#A*I STUDIO#blasted in my face#i try to ignore it#and click the create button#and it asks me if i want to make a new post or#A*I CHARACTER#and i just close the page#born at the worst possible time in history to be an artist#never liked insta anyway but man
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#real life#girl thoughts#this is what makes us girls#girly blog#hell is a teenage girl#follow this blog for more#girl blogger#girly tumblr#new blogger#born to die#girlhood#this is a girlblog#girl blogging#i love being a girl#girly stuff#tumblr girls#girlblogging#just girly things#im just a girl#my blog#blogging#pink blog#bed rotting#girl rotting#what is life#i hate everything#quoteoftheday#i want to disappear#mentally unstable#hell is a place on earth
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sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)
plus:
#gale dekarios#shadowheart#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#my art#want to promote a greater shovel presence in the fanbase. where is all the shovel content. where is my beautiful daughter#she is gale's familiar. to me.#he may not necessarily *want* shovel#but it's too late now#he's her wizard it might be more apt to say#tara is not in any way shape or form a familiar she's like. his aunt.#also i have GOT to develop a faster way of making things like i have so many dumb joke ideas i can’t be rendering shit. unsustainable! 😭😭
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Is it considered plagiarism if you're copying your own comic?
╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
#epic the musical#odysseus#telemachus#athena#epic comic#??? not really but i wanted to put it on a tag that I could find later#i dont gonna start making comics again#i think#i just thought this one fit too perfectly and had to remake into odysseus showing thelemacus to athena#hamilton and odysseus love their son a lot#odysseus could teach a thing or two about fidelity to hamilton tho#I know 99% of epic fandom used to be addicted to hamilton ok I can smell y'all
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I feel overwhelmed with the need to create but even more overwhelmed with the need to be so cozy and comfy in bed
#I WANT TO MAKE THINGS#I WANT TO DRAW OR PAINT OR CRAFT OR JUST DO SOMETHING#BUT IM SO. FUCKING. EXHAUSTED.
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