#I want to get better at this

[holleighgram]

So, go easy on me. This is my first time singing/recording/editing/mixing anything-- let alone posting it, but I really wanted to participate in March Caprice this year. I wouldn't have been able to even do this much without the incredible @projectdestati lending me their sensational talent for the accompaniment.

I hope one day to re:record this piece sometime down the road when I've got a few more collaborators (and can afford a decent microphone), Hopfully by then, I'll learn how to mix, or can afford to pay someone to mix it into an actual track. For now, there are 2 versions-- one with lots of nerdy call backs and the other that's a little more simple and .... tidy.

All that to say,

I rewrote the lyrics to Hikari to reflect the themes of Kingdom Hearts a bit better. Hikari has always hit a bit different than Simple and Clean, for me and I just wanted to sing along, so I made these lyrics. Hope you enjoy :)

Lyrics:

Been having dreams, At least it seems That way… How much is real Of what I feel And say?

Was I reckless diving in so deep and believing you would follow me, And dive in after? Was I wrong all along ? You and me weren't meant to be :( How can I face what lies ahead? How is this the path that my heart led?

And now dawn is breaking and soon you’ll be waking This that path I am taking Will lead me back to you. Hearing the dark call, I’ll fight it with my all Keep shining bright, Cause you’re my guiding light.

~Break~

Now back to back, We walk our paths, my friend But when we meet My hearts will beat again

Never thought that it would end like this-- With you and me facing the great abyss Though doors are closing Pick a side, you and I, we’ll get by Cause you’re next to me, we are the key we always were. Take my hand, And we’ll go together

~Break~

And now dawn is breaking and soon you’ll be waking This promise we are making Is like the one we made while Watching the stars fall-- I promised you my all. I’ll stand and fight For you, my guiding light

Slowly, The pieces come falling into place, and we’ve landed standing hand in hand. Regardless of heartless, I know that we’re prepared for this fight. You’re my guiding light.

Slowly, The pieces come falling into place, and we’ve landed standing hand in hand. Regardless of Darkness, I know one day we'll set this all right. You’re my guiding light.

[maylovesfiction]

NSFW Rant

I'm currently trying to write some NSFW content. It's my first time (haha). But I always feel like my writing is not suited for this. Like I describe so many things because the scene plays in my head and I want to write down everything that happens so everyone can share the mental image of it with me. But it feels so weird to read from my perspective.

Also everytime I get to the point where I would mention the male or female reproductive organs I just blank out and I don't know how to describe them without using the slang words.

My goal for this NSFW content was originally to stay free from using "cock", "dick", "pussy" and words like these. Hell even writing "vagina" and "penis" doesn't sit right with me.

I feel like I'm repeating myself so much. My NSFW is about "You x Buggy" so it's mostly "you you you you you" and "Buggy he he he Buggy he he Buggy". It even feels weird to me to just say "the pirate" or "the blue haired man" or anything like this.

Maybe I should read more NSFW for inspiration...

Who would have thought that writing NSFW would be so damn hard for me, haha.

This is just a rant that I wanted to get out of my system, because I can't rant to my friend circle about this (they don't write and they aren't big into fanfiction), but if any of you have a tip for me how to get better at this, feel free. I appreciate any help.

[dimondbird]

J is an abuser and here is why

(with a twist at the end)

Its clear seeing as how she calls Uzi a "barely sentient toaster", her clearly intentional physical abuse and demean-ment to and of N in the manor that she then tries to hide from Tessa as shown in episode 2 "heart beat" and her general distain of worker drones on copper 9 despite her previously being one herself (weather because of her fear of Cyn or other wise). It's clear she hurts/kills/belittles any one she see as "below her" . a clear sign of some form of superiority complex.(will expand a-pon in a bit)

as seen in episode 1 "pilot" she physically (perhaps even mentally/emotionally as well but there's less direct evidence for that) as she was quick to install many viruses on N with the clear intent to kill when he even starts to waver from the lie she tells him is true, and in the scene where N introduces his squad we see her force N down on to the floor with enough strength to make him gasp and wheeze for air while also telling him that she would kill him herself is she was aloud to and that in episode 2 "heart beat" when they find holo-spooky-snake-crab J and how quick he is to make sure Uzi doesn't insult J's "new look" and instead complements J on her new look being quote "great, you look great J." while then proceeding to shoot Uzi a glare (what the glare itself means I'm unsure, as it could be a "don't insult my boss" (that wouldn't make much sense though as he seems to have abandoned that idea in the pilot episode) a "don't antagonise her" glare or any other kind of glare that i fail to point out) but none the less it is clear that to some degree N fears J which is something that J would have to make N feel, how she does that should be fairly obvious, she uses physical forms of abuse such as shoving, hitting, and forcing onto the floor, just to name a few

Now the length of time at which this happened across is very debateable as so far the only peace of evidence i have seen people say for how long this happened for is a bit shaky. that evidence being the missing posters on the wall at the start of episode 3 "the promening", I don't believe this is great evidence for the length of time at which this happened across as there are to many ways it could be wrong in lore, those being that this is may be the second or third generation of drones living in fear of the disassembly drones (khan saw one him self and if drones reproduce in a similar fashion to humans then that could mean that Khan is a first gen "fearer" and Uzi would be a second gen "fearer" of disassembly drones although Doll did see one her self as well so this may not be a great of a point as Doll and Uzi seem to be about the same age) and also the fact that we don't know how long the N,V and J were at the manor for as well. so I don't think there a good way of telling how long this happened for BUT that doesn't mean that its irrelevant as it gives a good idea as to how long J abuse may have gone on for aka a long time likely about a decade or so (10 years give or take)

now I don't think this is ENTIRLY J fault but more so a result of how she was raised, as J seems to have grown up in a very hierarchical environment (the Elliot manor) and she just so happens to be on the bottom of said hierarchy being a worker drone and all, so she may have developed a constant respect for those she could easily see as "above her" (such as people or other drone above her in position) while also making fell like she's better then the drones "below her" and its possible she thinks this is just how the world works. so this could be a nature vs. nurture thing as she was nurtured in a place that favoured being at the top while she was very much not while also fearing being killed for any reason at any time by any humans (minus Tessa) and was in fact raised in this environment. think of how some one would start acting if they were raised like this? would they respect people that they thought were lesser then them? no, probably wouldn't, as they don't get respect or get treated well when they were or are at the bottom. then when she became a disassembly drone she was suddenly higher up on the ladder or totem poll (whatever you want to call it) she had a real reason to think shes better then the workers while still seeing N as below her and V (weather V participated in N abuse or just watched it happen is debateable as she did distance herself from N, and let J abuse N... so? it's up in the air) nonetheless J is objectively an abuser BUT there's a reason for it and I don't think she's irredeemable as after all she did extend a hand for V to give her the chance to stick with the solver instead of defecting to Uzi's side in episode 8 "absolute end", and may have held some form of regard or admiration (weather platonic or romantic I'll leave up to debate as well as its not my place to say) so much so that it may be one of the reasons J abuses N along with the fact she see likely has seen Tessa be abused by her parents as she seems to have had some form of injury on her arm we see her rub in episode 5 "home" and may think that this is normal.

So all in all to summarize this whole post into a tldr

J is an abuser with no exceptions and should not be forgiven for what she has done to N and others BUT there IS a reason as to why, as she was raised in a environment that revolved around the idea of hierarchy and a punching down mentality (similar to Korea but I don't know a lot about Korea and its culture, this is merely something I've heard about and I advise people look into this themselves) and general normalisation of abuse that seems to have aided in her developing a superiority complex, however i don't think that means she's a big bad no do good-er but instead someone who has seen very little but abuse for not only her whole childhood but likely her whole life thanks to the Absolute solver and was simply lead along a awful past, present and likely future from what is impied about J in the ending montage at the end of episode 8 "absolute end" is to be believed.

J is an tragic character who has done a-lot of bad things that should not be forgiven, some of which where of her own volition, others acts less so of her own volition.

all of this only applies exclusively to the actual cannon of murder drones and not fanfiction/au's/head-cannons some may have/or read/write/enjoy

[oya-oya-okay]

I'm sorry that I rarely color manga. Recently, I have lost the desire to "Wow, I really want to color this!" (╥_╥)

I hope I can color something in the future

Tysm!!!💗💗💗

[cowboysmp3]

there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living

[hinamie]

mentor

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[chloesimaginationthings]

The FNAF Vanessas meet their younger selves..

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

[katsinspats]

I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes

Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:

[heartorbit]

if we could stay connected, just like this

[stealingyourbones]

Danny is gravely injured by the GIW, his voice box is severely damaged.

Making use of his own voice is impossible, but through some ghostly means Danny doesn’t quite understand, he can mimic others voices he hears just fine.

It’s a ghostly ability he found out he had a few years ago, with just a sentence or two heard he can do a flawless impression of that person. Now it’s not so flawless. The mimicked voice warps and fluctuates pitch, it’s crackly and he has a hard time not switching between multiple voices with every sentence he speaks.

His voice is reduced to an uncanny frankenstined attempt at speech that activates the average persons fight or flight response.

It’s no surprise that Superman is startled when he calls out for survivors while freeing the ghostly captives and a “not a deer” version of his own voice responds back.

[mienar]

the wandering painter, part one

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[dustykneed]

survival is an act of rebellion. jim loves you SO MUCH. i hope this finds all of us who need it today. please stay alive so we can make it out together. sending so much love and strength

[sophies-junkyard]

I’m in the South. I’ve got ears to the ground. Republicans are SWEATING at the prospect of Kamala being nominated. They’re not sure Trump can beat her.

Let’s prove them right.

[soranker]

98 lovemail doodles >_<