#I want to drive myself away from here I need to be alone or at least away from people I can get mad at

[ghoul-slime]

Mushy May Day 7 - Better Now That You're Here

Once again very, very late with this entry! Thank you again @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together!

Summary: Dew injures himself on stage, Aether does whatever it takes to help him. 1,820 words.

Tags: Hurt/comfort, mild injury, fluff, established relationship, light angst, Aether is the boyfriend of all time

Read here on Ao3

Divider by @ghuleh-recs

Aether is lounging in bed, waiting for his nightly post-ritual call from Dew, when there’s a knock at his door. Right away he knows something is wrong, the hairs on his arms stand on end and his blood goes cold, his mind instinctually turning to the safety of his mate away on tour. His fears are only confirmed when he opens the door to see a nervous looking Frater Imperator on the other side.

Frater assures him Dew is safe before he breaks the news that he’d been injured during tonight's ritual. A fall offstage had left his mate with two broken bones in his foot and a bruised ego - but otherwise fine. Physically speaking, at least. But at only four shows in, Perpetua had expressed concerns over the fire ghoul being able to continue the tour. Human doctors could only do so much for an injured ghoul and Phantom, though talented, was still working on his quintessence healing abilities.

When he finally gets a hold of Dew on the phone, he sounds terrible. 

“Aeth, I…,” Dew trails off, voice shaky. Aether can tell he’s barely holding it together and the thought alone makes him want to cry sympathetic tears. “I fucked up real bad this time, Aeth. It’s only the fourth ritual and I can barely stand up. I… I’m afraid he wants to send me home,” Dew’s voice cracks and he goes quiet. Aether knows him well enough that he’s trying his hardest to fight back tears of frustration and disappointment.

Aether’s heart breaks. If Dew is admitting to being this hurt then it must be bad. Normally he’d brush an injury off and insist he was fine. Aether thinks back to the tour where he’d injured his shoulder, how he’d played night after night in pain before his body finally gave out, too stubborn to admit defeat until he couldn’t go on any longer. If Dew was admitting he was down for the count, then he truly had to be scared and hurting.

“Nobody’s sending you home,” Aether bristles at the idea of the new guy sending Dew back over an injury. “You belong on stage, Dew. You love performing more than anything. And besides, our pack needs you there.”

On the other end of the line, he hears Dew sniffle.

“Nobody’s sending you home,” Aether repeats, resolved. “I won’t let them. I’ll come there and fix you up myself. Just like last time.”

“Aether, what - no,” Dew sounds taken aback, ready to argue. “They’ll never let you-”

“I’m already on my way to the airport,” Aether cuts him off before he can spiral any further. Papa - I mean Frater, booked me the earliest flight we could find. I’ll be there in a few hours.”

He hears Dew exhale a shaky breath, but otherwise he remains quiet.

“Just get some rest for now. I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay,” Dew answers, still uncharacteristically quiet. The exhaustion in his voice is apparent. Then he adds, “Love you, Aeth.”

“I love you too, Dew. More than anything,” Aether answers. “I’ll be with you soon, my love.” And then reluctantly he hangs up the phone.

He lands early, before the sun is even up, and makes his way through the nearly empty airport to the car waiting for him. The drive to the hotel is quiet, and Aether is beyond exhausted. He’s been awake for almost twenty-four hours now, but the only thing on his mind is getting to Dew.

Once they make it to the hotel, Aether sprints to the elevators, making his way to the room he’d been told Dew was staying in. When he knocks, Swiss opens the door and they hug immediately. Aether takes comfort in the familiar almost-too-tight squeeze of a hug from Swiss. 

“How is he?” he whispers as soon as they part. Swiss steps to the side and motions Aether towards the bed.

“He insisted on waiting up for you,” Swiss chuckles quietly, “but the doctors gave him lots of painkillers. He tried his best, but he finally knocked out around two hours ago.”

Dew is sleeping quietly in the center of the hotel bed, his brow furrowed. His foot is propped up on several pillows and there are discarded towels and ice packs at the foot of the bed. Aether frowns at how swollen it looks even from where he stands across the room. His heart aches when he thinks about how much pain Dew must have been in when it happened and how uncomfortable he must have been for the entire night, even with the human pain-killers he’d been given.

In his sleep, Dew’s nose twitches, catching the scent of his mate nearby, and he stirs immediately.

“Aether, s’that you?” he calls out, voice raspy and words slurred from a mix of sleep and pain meds. He rubs his bleary eyes as he struggles to prop himself up on his elbows and locate his mate in the dim early-morning light of the hotel room.

Aether crosses the room in two strides to be by his side, kneeling carefully on the bed to kiss the little ghoul on the lips. Dew grabs for him, pulls him in by the fabric of his shirt and holds him close as they kiss.

Swiss takes that as his cue to slip out the door, giving the reunited ghouls their privacy.

They kiss for a moment longer, and when Aether pulls away, Dew reluctantly lets him go with a disappointed whimper.

Aether sits beside him on the bed, mindful of Dew’s injured foot. He cards his fingers through Dew’s sleep-tousled hair, scratching at his scalp lightly.

“How’re you feeling, baby?” he asks, despite knowing Dew can’t possibly be feeling very good at all.

“Mm, better now that you’re here,” he answers. Aether leans down to plant another kiss to the crown of Dew’s head, and the little ghoul smiles wearily up at him in response. Dew must be exhausted, in so much pain, and nervous about the future of the tour, but Aether can tell that his mood already seems to be lifting from the darkness of the night before.

Aether helps Dew sit up, piling pillows up behind him to prop himself up on. He moves to the end of the bed to carefully look over Dew’s injured foot as he tells him all about everything that happened the night before. How he’d forgotten about that new set of stairs behind Mountain’s drum kit. About the horrified look on the crewmembers’ faces when Dew had fallen completely off of the stage and into the tech areas below the decking. He tells Aether how Phantom and Rain had helped him work his pedals for the rest of the night. And he tells him about the human emergency room he’d been whisked away to as soon as the ritual had ended, and how difficult he’d found it to uphold his glamour between his frazzled nerves and the pain in his foot as the doctors looked him over. 

Right away Aether hits Dew with a pulse of quintessence, just enough to dull whatever pain the human medicines weren’t enough to handle. Between that, and being able to unpack the events of the night before, Dew is already starting to relax under Aether’s touch.

“Swiss threatened to put me in the cone of shame if I didn’t behave for the doctor,” Dew says with a frown on his pretty face. Aether barks out a laugh and Dew swats at him for it, laughing along with him as his mood is lifted by Aether’s calming presence.

Aether finishes his assessment of Dew’s foot, confirming that yes, there are broken bones, and that without quint-accelerated healing, it could take months for it to heal on its own. Unfortunately, Aether tells him that the break is bad enough that even with the help of his quintessence, it could take weeks to fully fix, and Dew would have to continue to wear his medical boot onstage in the meantime.

Dew frowns at the thought, but acquiesces. 

As the morning light grows brighter through the hotel room curtains, exhaustion begins to set in for both ghouls. Dew lets out a giant yawn, settling himself back down into the pile of pillows as his eyelids grow heavy once again between the pain medication and the quintessence. Aether yawns as well, adrenaline finally wearing off. He’d been on high alert since the moment Frater Imperator had knocked on his door the night before and he could tell his body was ready to crash.

Aether stifles another yawn, but plants himself at the foot of the bed again nonetheless.

“Lemme just get one quick round of healing in while I’m still awake,” he insists, despite the need for rest clawing at him.

“Uh uh,” Dew shakes his head with a frown, reaching for Aether with grabby little fingers. “Naptime first. You said yourself before that you’re of no use when you’re this tired.” 

Aether wants to argue, to insist that he’s good for another hour or so just to get a headstart on the healing process, but of course Dew is right. He needs proper rest to be of any use to either of them. So he lets Dew pull him to his side. He carefully helps Dew scoot over on the bed, just enough that Aether can gently lay himself at Dew’s side, ever mindful of Dew’s hurt foot.

As he finally drifts off to sleep, he feels Dew thread their fingers together, hears Dew turn his head towards him and whisper,

“Thank you, for always taking care of me.”

Later that day, after a restful nap and an initial round of healing from Aether, all the arrangements have been made. Aether will travel with the band for the next few weeks, helping to heal Dew in between tour stops. If they’re lucky it should only be a couple of weeks. Frater gives Aether his blessing and Perpetua seems pleased to be able to retain his star lead guitar player. He’d even been willing to give Aether and Dew his (much larger) bunk on his private tour bus while Aether worked on his mate’s health.

A week later, with Dew well on the mend, Aether and Dew lounge in Perpetua’s luxurious bunk after the night’s quintessence session. Dew rests his head on Aether’s chest, ready to fall asleep.

“You know, Aeth,” he says, looking up at his mate with a toothy little grin, “if you would have told me all I’d have to do was break a few bones to get you back out on tour with us, I would have done it a long time ago.” He laughs, pleased with himself.

Aether looks down at his little mate incredulously, and he can’t help but laugh along with him. He leans in for a kiss.

“Try it again and I’ll put you in the cone of shame myself.”

[neverendingford]

.

[cats-in-the-clouds]

my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do

[cillians-sweetheart]

Secret Boyfriend - Thomas Shelby

Thomas Shelby(39) x Fem!Reader(18)

Plot: Y/N has a new, secret boyfriend who she meets up with late in the night to avoid judgement from her parents as he is not quite what they would want, but perfect for Y/N in pleasing all her needs.

Content: Smut, age-gap, pet names, secrecy, oral (m), rubbing (m & f), car sex, riding, dirty talk (m & f), huge daddy kink, no protection, Tommy sounds kinda pervy but romantic too

(Modern day Thomas Shelby in this story)

Laying in my little white bed, I kick my feet and grin at my screen while I text my new boyfriend, Thomas. I’ve met him through the internet and have met with a few times late at night when my parents were asleep. 

I couldn’t have them find out I had been seeing a man almost 3 times my age. I was freshly 18, and still a child to them. They’d never understand what Tommy and I have. He was tall, and fit. And each time I’d see him he’d wear the type of suits he wore to work. Perfectly tailored to his figure, and always smelling rich and manly. There was no way I could keep my hands to myself when I was with him.

Most nights I’d run out to his car in the dark and we’d drive around the city to an empty road where he'd kiss, and caress me until the sun rose. His lips were always so gentle. And during the day I’d sneak away from everyone to text him. 

{“I miss you”}, I texted while smiling and giggling like a high school girl. I mean technically I was, so it made sense.

Just seconds after a new message pops up on my screen. {“I miss you too my girl ;)”}

{“how was work?”}

{“Ah, it was fine, just boring office stuff. Nothing interesting.”} Thomas sent while sitting alone in his house, still in his work clothes and also grinning to himself.

{“Can I see you tonight?”}

{“Won’t your parents be home, baby?”}

{“Please daddy… I need you”}

Thomas chuckled to himself, {“Haha baby, don’t do this to me. I really want to come and touch you but I don’t want you getting caught”}

{“When my parents go to sleep I can sneak out and come meet you. No one will see me”}

{“Oh baby, you’re just tempting me. You know I can’t resist feeling you… I’ll be there tonight.”}

{“Ok thank you daddy, I’ll see you soon”} 

I sent the message with my cheeks a flustered shade of pink. I quickly jumped up from my bed and changed into nicer clothing and quickly applied makeup on my smooth face. It was getting late anyway so I’d get ready now. 

Thomas too got up and grabbed his car keys. He loved how I begged for him, and how I’d do anything just to see him. And soon enough he arrived outside my house. He was nervous for me, but couldn’t wait another second longer to touch me. 

{“I’m here love. Whenever you’re ready”}

{“Coming daddy”} I quickly replied and quickly ran down the stairs to the front door. 

When I came outside, Thomas was leaning against his expensive car with that handsome smirk he always got when he saw me. I quickly ran to him with my short dress flowing in the wind and brushing against my thighs. I wrapped my body around him in a tight hug, and inhaled deeply his rich scent and felt his toned chest through his shirt.

“Oh my princess…” He smiled and kissed the top of my head. “Come on baby.” He led me to the passenger seat and opened the door for me. 

We drove around through the dark empty roads. His big hand lightly rubbed my bare thigh with intimate caresses. Slowly I began to slide down in the seat making his hand go higher and higher between my legs. He got the hint and trailed his hand up my dress to gently tickle me through my thin, lacy pantries. 

I couldn’t take my eyes off him from beside me as he rubbed me with his finger. I bit my lip and whimpered at his touch. He looked over to me, his eyes scanning from my shivering legs up to my baby doll face. 

“You’re such a cute girl… couldn’t wait to see daddy, couldn’t you?” He asked with his voice so smooth, and silky on my ears. 

“Mhm,” I nodded, looking down between my legs at my growing wetness for him. 

Eventually after several minutes driving through the quiet streets, Thomas parked at the end of a dead road. There was nothing but trees and darkness all around us. Thomas turned off the car and turned to me. 

“Give daddy a kiss.” He leaned in closer to me, moving his hands up to hold my face. I instantly fell into him and my lips latched onto his hungrily. Sweet little moans escaped my lips each time they’d separate even the slightest. 

Thomas pulled back to look closely at my face. With his thumb he traced my bottom lip, and in return I kissed his skin lovingly like a little puppy. “Such a good girl… you know exactly how to please your daddy, hm?” 

I nodded, continuing to kiss his thumb and over his whole hand. My submission was more than obvious for him. There’s nothing I’d not do for him. 

I pulled my lips away from his hand and Thomas leaned back to get out of the car. I watched him outside just briefly before he got back into the car in the backseat. He sat right in the middle with his legs spread and his bulge showing through his dress pants. 

“Come here.” He sat back, watching me with amusement as I crawled to him. “Good girl… Crawl to daddy.” His voice was low and sensual, making my legs shiver. 

In the backseat I straddled Thomas’s lap and looked into his blue eyes that I could barely see in the dark, but I could feel the lust in them. 

My hands felt around on his muscular chest and unbuttoned his shirt as my hands travelled lower and lower down his torso. His skin beneath was hot, and smooth and the hair on his chest, and below his belly button made my panties wet as I touched it. His legs spread wider, and his pants grew tighter. I felt as his hardening cock poked and rubbed me through my pantries. It made my mouth water.

I moved to the side on the leather seat next to him and looked up into his eyes while I eagerly undid his pants. His hips moved lower into the seat and his head laid back against the leather. He felt his cock just aching to be touched, and sucked. 

“That’s good baby, keep going.” He groaned under his breath while I pulled his big, needy cock from his pants. My eyes glared up into his while my face and lips slowly lowered to his hot, wet skin. I kissed and licked at his pink tip like a little kitten while making eye contact the whole time.

Thomas petted my silky hair while looking down at me with admiration, “My good baby… pleasing your daddy so well,” He groaned to the feeling of my lips hungrily sucking and kissing on his tip. His hand gripped in my hair and he tilted my face up to look at him while he pushed my mouth down the length of his thick cock. He groaned and cursed while I loved on his sweet, sensitive skin. I needed to give daddy more and slowly bobbed my head and sucked in my cheeks around him. “Hmh… god… just like that baby, just like that.” 

I sucked and swallowed him like it was the last thing I’d ever do. I couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to. He tasted so good, and making my daddy feel good was all that I lived for. 

I pulled my mouth up from his dripping cock with a pop when he tugged on my hair. “Come.” He patted his thigh and I obediently sat up and straddled his lap. “Let daddy see that little pussy…” He was voice rough and hot in my neck and he lifted the straps of my pantries off and down my hips. I leaned back and let him strip me until I was completely naked on his lap, sitting and waiting for the attention I craved. 

“So cute,” He whispered glaring down my body and between my legs. His fingers slipped between my legs and slowly he rubbed my wet clit in gentle circles.

I was so sensitive from my growing arousal, and my sweet sounds and whimpering just encouraged him more. 

His fingers felt so perfect, rubbing faster and harder. I grind against his fingers eagerly spreading my wetness all over his hand. “You wanna cum?” He asked with his breath hot in my neck. 

“Mhm… Mhm daddy, please” 

“Cum on my cock… rub it.” He turned to lay back onto the seats and I sat on his cock against his lower stomach. My wet lips stroked his length, and my clit rubbed against his smooth veiny skin. I moaned and whimpered all sweet and desperate while I rubbed my pussy on him. 

Tommy gripped my hips, “fuck…,” he groaned with his head falling back. My soft lips were practically milking him and filling his stomach with precum. And eventually, I came with loud needy moans, and my fingers digging into his chest. His cock was absolutely throbbing by now and was bigger than it's ever been. 

“Oh, that’s such a good girl…” he praised sitting back up on the seat, me still on his lap. Tommy’s hands reached up into my hair holding my face close to his. We kissed sloppily while I sat and lowered myself down onto his aching cock. It filled my little hole so perfectly. Made purely just for him, as he’s the only one who’s ever used it. 

My hands held onto Tommy’s bulky shoulders, and he lifted his hips to forcefully thrust. My high pitched moans were in sync with his quick movements, and echoed throughout the car. The windows fogged and the air around us got hot and humid. 

Tommy’s lips sucked and kissed at my neck leaving his mark of property. My fingernails dug into his back and shoulders while trying to muffle my pleasurable whines in his hot neck. 

“Yes… Yes!” I yelled pounding my hips down onto him. “Daddy!” My body trembled and grew weak. Thomas took control using all his strength to buck his hips up against mine, his cock reaching deep inside. 

Thomas’s hand held tightly onto my plump butt, moving me up and down. Both of our skin grew damp with sweat and arousal. The movement between us got sloppy the closer we got. Neither of us had a proper thought but the feelings in our bodies. Everything between us with our bodies and lips, it went so fast like time hadn’t existed. Nothing existed when he and I were together, nothing but each other. 

And eventually over those last few, sloppy thrusts, Thomas’s cock shot his hot cum deeply into my cervix. His hips bucked up into mine forcefully which broke me into spilling my fluids onto his lap. I held onto him tightly as the sensitivity grew and faded and as our bodies began to slow down to a stop. 

I breathed heavily with little whimpers escaping with my exhale. I could feel Tommy relax and soften while still inside me. And before we moved we took the time just holding each other and gently kissing with the little energy we had left. 

I could feel the love Thomas had for me from the way he’d caress my bare hip and kiss me ever so gently. There was always a difference between him -in the way he acted-  before and after sex, but I loved both sides equally. He was rough and dominant but also gentle and romantic. And in the end he’d drive me home and kiss every inch of my face before I’d go back inside to sleep peacefully. 

“I love you my sweet girl,” He’d say each time. 

And from me, “I love you too, daddy.” With a kiss on his cheek. 

[astars-things]

Private argument turned public pt2

Y/n Hughes x Lando Norris

Part one -> here

Lando stared at the hotel room door you'd slammed shut behind you. Lando knew he fucked up big time, he was being tagged in tweets, TikTok and Instagram posts regarding the comment he made on the McLaren Instagram. 

It felt like the whole world was hating on him and he deserved it. Not to mention the fact that your brothers, Oscar, Zak and even his family had all sent him messages about how he fucked up and that his comment was not needed. Now he needed a plan to unfuck his fuck up 

step one- owning his mistake, that one was probably the easiest for him to do, he didn't want his Pr team to write it, he knew it had to come from him. He grabbed his phone opened up his notes app and started typing, once it was written up he sent it to his best friend Max (fewtrell) to proofread. Once he got the all good from him, Lando posted the statement to his all of his social media accounts 

"Dear everyone,

Before you keep reading this is me, not pr. Nobody told me to put this out this is me owning up to my mistake, I made a stupid, disrespectful comment under a McLaren post. I thought I was being clever. I wasn't. I was being immature, careless, and completely unfair to someone who didn't deserve it.

The woman behind the camera, behind the content, behind the scenes... is also the woman I love. And instead of supporting her in the job she's worked her ass off to earn, I made her job harder. I made her look like the bad guy when I was the one being impossible. I took a private frustration and aired it in front of the entire internet like a coward.

And I'm so deeply sorry for that. 

I can't take it back. But I can try to be better. For her. For myself. 

- lando" 

as soon as he hit post he let out a deep breath. step one was completed, and step two was now in motion he messaged Jack 

Lando🏎️ - I Know I fucked up, I love her so much. If I fly to New Jersey can you pick me up from the airport? 

Jack🏒 - I had my twin, my built-in best friend cry in my arms for 2 hours Lando so yeah you fucked up

Jack🏒 - I can pick you up but you're on your own from then  

Lando knew this was a good sign that your twin hadn't blocked him yet. It wasn't forgiveness, but it was something. A crack in the door. So he wasted no time quickly booked the flights, packed all his things and set off to the airport, giving the taxi guy a good tip. 

He made it through security and was sat on the plane, headphones on listening to your shared playlist on Spotify. Every song felt like a memory, and every lyric hit like a bruise he'd earned.

He texted Jack that he was an hour from landing, and when Lando finally landed he saw a small gift shop with roses, he got you pink and red roses and brought a card as well standing there he poured his heart out in the card.

 He made his way out of the airport his bag on his back with the roses and card in hand, he spotted Jack's car and got in not missing the fact that Luke and Jack were staring at him, it was an awkward silence the whole drive to Jack and Lukes apartment 

"Luke and I are heading to practice. You've got the place to yourselves, sort your shit out." He tossed a spare key into Lando's lap, then added with a glare, "And please, for the love of God, don't fuck in my apartment."

Then he was out of the car, leaving Lando alone with the key, the flowers, and every mistake he'd made. The key slipped into the lock with a soft click.

Lando hesitated, his hand still on the doorknob, as if turning it would set off a chain reaction he couldn't control. He took a slow breath, heart pounding against his ribs, and finally pushed the door open. 

He stepped in cautiously, roses in one hand, the card clutched in the other. His eyes scanned the room and then he saw you.

You were curled up on the couch in one of Jack's hoodies, a blanket wrapped around you like armor. Your hair was pulled back in a messy bun, cheeks puffy and eyes red. You didn't look up right away. You were too focused on the TV playing some old re-run with the volume barely audible like even that was too much. 

When you finally noticed movement in your peripheral vision, you blinked, disoriented. "Jack, I thought you had—" You paused when your gaze landed on him. "You're not Jack." Lando's throat tightened. "No, I'm not Jack," he said softly, stepping further inside. "I'm just your boyfriend who really, truly fucked up."

"would you like to stay dressed like that or get changed, we are going for a walk and we are sorting this out" Lando said pointing between him and you,  you decided to just stay in sweatpants and a hoodie. The two of you walked in silence down the street for a few blocks, the leaves crunching underfoot. You kept your arms crossed tight over your chest. He kept his hands in his pockets like he wasn't sure if they were allowed to exist right now.

"You humiliated me, made me feel like you don't support me" You spoke breaking the silence between you two "You made me feel like a shit girlfriend because I was just doing my job" Lando stopped walking. You did too, slowly, turning to face him. 

"I know, I fucked up, and I know it's not an excuse but all the hate lately and just the last thing I wanted to do was fake being happy for a video. You didn’t deserve that, and I hate that I made you feel that way."  Lando spoke wrapping his arms around you and giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead 

You looked up at him making eye contact "You fuck up like that one more time," you said, holding his gaze, voice trembling just slightly, "and we’re done, Lando. I’m not going to keep fighting for someone who won’t fight for me." His shoulders dropped a little

and he nodded, Lando held out his pinky finger towards you "I pinky promise I'm going to do better" he said interlocking both of your pinky fingers together before giving each other a kiss, it was your little way of making that pinky promise last  

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: Channeled Messages From The Person On Your Mind *Singles Edition*

Let's feed our delusions. (jk)

Pile 1: "You make me feel so good, like I'm on cloud nine. You make everything so, sooo worth it. I feel like a winner with you around... and the thing is.. you have no clue lol. I wanna win you over and show you off. You've no idea how you make me feel... you being your hot-ass self sitting there, looking so cute. I keep so much of my feelings to myself, but all I wanna do is overcome this impossible (and seemingly invisible) barrier between us! Ahhhhhh, it drives me nuts on some days, ugh!

You feel like a blessing to me. I didn't know somebody like you could exist?! Ahhhhh. I've been alone all my life, but you make me wanna not be alone anymore... it's not something I expected to feel, I have to be honest lol.

I'm not ready to come toward you right now, though. Trust me, I KNOW I must do something, but my anxiety holds me back... my limiting beliefs hold me, and I have no clue how to overcome them. I wish I could figure it out so I could BE WITH YOU ALREADY!

I'm being patient, though... with myself and with the situation between us. I keep my cards close, so you probably wouldn't even know any of this... sheesh, I don't wanna look like a fool in front of you. I'm scared you'd think less of me—it would KILL me if you did—so I keep you at arm's length.

Your presence TRIGGERS some very intense feelings inside me. I feel so exposed and vulnerable with you around, so overwhelmed, and it's not easy, you know? My heart's been broken before, and I'm afraid of getting it broken again. That's definitely a part of the fear you make me feel. I've had to be on the defense with people, especially from my past... relationships have not been easy, and so I guess I gotta work on that.

Go listen to Taylor Swift's 'Lover' anytime you miss me... that's a song I dedicate to you, sweetie, until I see you next time."

If you'd like to know more about your person's thoughts for you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

Pile 2: "GIRL, I have been going THROUGH IT, sheesh... I've been holding on for dear life 'cause lately, it feels like everything is out to get me, uk? One thing goes straight to hell after another, and I've just been so caught up with everything. You know what's been keeping me going, though? You. I've been dreaming about you most nights... I think about you when I can, to help me get through what I need to get through. The thought of you gives me strength, girlie. Every time you cross my mind, I get so weak in the knees! I look forward to every time I get to see you... (even if we live in the same house lmao!)

I feel you all around me all the time—it's lovely. I love how you make me feel... you take away my troubles, even if just for a sec. For that, I am immensely grateful!

You're not in my life right now, though... but I'm PRAYING and WISHING and HOPING that I might have a shot with you. The hope of a possibility of being with you is what makes the hard days sooo much easier. I seriously want a solid relationship with you more than anything else! (If we aren't in one already 👀)

Right now, I'm getting my shit together, and I hope you'll be waiting for me on the other side, just like in my dreams. You give me hope in a hopeless world again. You're such a light to me... you don't even know it.

I'm always watching you, though... even when you don't know—ESPECIALLY when you don't notice! Haha, it's my favorite thing in the world. I think you've got the prettiest voice in the world. Gosh, I just wanna be with you, but BOY, I've got my hands tied up right now. I'm letting go and letting God decide when it's time for us to come together. You make me wanna have faith in something greater than us.

But I assure you, I'm coming for ya once I'm done figuring everything in my life. Oh, and I love you. ✨"

If you'd like to know more about your person's thoughts for you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

Pile 3: "You make me so horny. I can't even sit right when I'm around you. WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS EFFECT ON ME?! (Not that I'm complaining tbh, I love it haha). But seriously, how can someone be so goddamn hot?! How?! Jeez, I LOVE your body! I get so many 18+ thoughts—it's insane. I apologize for being so direct, but it's just what you do to me, sorry not sorry :p

You make me wanna run toward you EVERY TIME I see you! All I wanna do is be all up on you, loving you, kissing you, and hugging you. Man, it's hard to be around you and not be close to you, especially when there's other people around. I LOVE TALKING TO YOU, and I don't ever wanna stop talking to you, ugh.

You make my heart explode! I've never had feelings this deep for anybody in my life (I WISH I was kidding, jeez). You make me wanna act mature and romantic n stuff... 🙃 (Usually, I'm not like this, btw).

I wanna be where you're at, vibrationally speaking, but I've got some things I gotta take care of. I've got some old cycles I've been on—my old bs. I'm working hard on it and releasing it as we speak, and this is helping me come toward you. Might take me a while, though, ngl 👀🙄. But I'll be there before you know it, princess!

I WANT our relationship to begin between the two of us SO BAD, but I can't see how that's gonna happen yet. It feels like it's not the right time yet? Idk... it's really frustrating, though. I'm trying not to do anything stupid to sabotage our new beginning, though. I'm just going with the flow of things and listening to my intuition about our situation. Don't worry!

I see you as my forever, my one and only. I can't explain it, but I just know. You're the one for me, and honestly, it's breaking my heart that I can't actively pursue you right now since it's supposed to be 'divinely guided' 🙄 Like, Universe, could you please hurry up and get me to MY baby, ugh.

You're so beautiful, you're my goddess, my other half. I can't wait to get to you and spoil you and have a PROPER relationship with you. I hate that we can't come together and confess to each other yet... it's maddening. I know we're destined to be, but the way things are going on the surface right now, it might seem as if we're not meant to be... hell, we might not even be talking to each other or you may not even know I exist right now! But as soon as the divine gives me the green light, I'll be coming running toward you to claim you all for myself." ✨

If you'd like to know more about your person's thoughts for you, you can book a reading with me! You can find the details here :]

[trusweethrt]

NEW NEIGHBOR: BOY NEXT DOOR SERIES (1)

PAIRING: NEIGHBOR!RAFE X LUX!BABYDOLL!READER

SUMMARY It's your first day in obx and your neighbor isn't exactly what you expected.

GENRE: Fluff!

WORD COUNT 1,138

a/n: EEE first series I'm so excited!! This whole concept has been in the making before I even started this account so I'm so glad I'm finally making it happen. by the way, I don't care about this being a lil cliche cause I write for me and my enjoyment so if you don't like it, don't take the time out of your day to make a comment about it. SCROLL

Setting your last box down that's labeled 'kitchen', you glance out of your window, seeing a truck drive past your house and park at the one next to you. You were aware someone lived next to you but you weren't exactly sure who since no one was there when you first arrived.

This is your first home away from your family who lives all the way in Virginia and you've lived in that house since you could remember, so you're not sure what to expect of a neighbor.

As the car comes to a stop in the parking lot, you watch as a tall, short haired blonde guy gets out of the truck. His back was turned to you but you could tell by just the way he walked that he was entitled and maybe even a little snobby.

But still, you were a nice person so of course you were still gonna make an effort to talk to him.

So, you make your way over to his lawn as he mutters some sort of sarcastic comment under his breath as he watches you approach.

“Can I help you?” He asks with a bored expression on his face as he takes in the Saxs Fifth Avenue satin dress you were wearing. You definitely had money.

“Yeah, actually. I was just introducing myself. I'm your new neighbor-” He waves a hand, cutting you off before you can even say your name.

“Yeah yeah I know who you are, princess.” Of course he knew who you were already, the island wasn't exactly huge.

“Right. And you are?” You ask, not missing how he called you 'princess' in almost a mocking way. You weren't sure if it infuriated you , turned you on, or both.

He scoffs in disbelief, looking at you in absolute bewilderment. He was goddamn Rafe Cameron. How did you not know that? “Are you serious? What kind of question is that? Everyone knows me.”

You roll your eyes in response. “Well I don't, that's why I asked.”

“Rafe.” He simply answers. He didn't seem to talk a lot.

“Mm, okay.”

Rafe scoffs again, seemingly surprised by your lack of reaction to his name. “So you haven't heard of me?”

“No...I just got here today, remember?”

“Yeah, I got that the first time.”

You weren't sure what pissed you off more, his lack of enthusiasm or his smartass responses to everything.

“And where are you from, anyway?” He asks as his eyes look over you skeptically. “New York?”

“Virginia” you correct with a slight raise of your eyebrow “Why did you guess New York?”

He shrugs. It was either because of the way you dressed or the way you just carried yourself like you were from an expensive part of the city and aspired to be a model or something along those lines. “Just an assumption.”

You weren't exactly sure how to take his 'assumption' since all the people you met from New York were unhinged but either way, you were flattered.

“Need help unpacking or something?” He asks as he glances over at your house. From where he was standing, he could see right into your living room window that was currently filled with boxes.

The question surprised both of you since he knew he normally wouldn't help anyone without something in return, nor would he consider himself polite or 'neighborly', and it seemed you knew that too. But for some reason, he found himself wanting to help you out for whatever reason. Even though you guys barely even had a full conversation yet.

Once you nod and murmur a “Sure”, you lead him inside your house as he takes a good look around. He knew you had money by the way you dressed but he didn't know you were this well off. Your house was almost as nice as his...almost.

“You live alone or...?” he questions as he looks around at all the boxes you have scattered throughout the space.

“Just me” You step over a few boxes before adding “Oh and London”

He was about to ask who the hell 'London' was until he saw a golden retriever puppy with a pink ribbon tied onto each of their ears, padding into the living room where both of you stood.

Not too many people on the island had dogs unless they were for emotional support so he was a bit surprised to find out you had one of your own. He assumed yours wasn't for emotional support since you seemed fine to him, but then again, you can never tell. And he wasn't gonna ask either cause he wasn't that much of an asshole

He hums as he squats down to scratch behind London's ears “How old is she?” He wasn't exactly certain why he was suddenly so invested in your dog considering how much of an asshole he was acting just a few minutes ago, but he wasn't gonna dwell on that so much right now.

“Two months” You respond as you adjust her collar

His eyes move down to London's collar as you adjust it, scoffing quietly once he sees the Dolce & Gabbana logo on it. Of course you'd spend money on something like that. But then again, he was in no place to judge since he spent his money on alcohol and drugs.

When he finally stands up from interacting with London, he looks around the area again before asking “So where exactly do you want me to start?”

You shrug, looking around with pursed lips before answering “I mean, you could take the kitchen if you want.”

Rafe nods before picking up a few of the boxes and disappearing into the kitchen while you head off to start unpacking your room.

After about an hour and a half of both of you unpacking, you finally got your room mostly done and Rafe got all of the dishes put away in the cupboards.

“Need help with anything else?” He asks as he enters your living room where you're sorting out more boxes.

You shake your head “Nah”

He found himself a little disappointed by your answer for some reason. He'd be lying if he said he didn't wanna talk to you more. “You into partying?”

You shrug, not looking up from the boxes as you answer “Kinda. It just depends on the party.”

“Soo would you come to one of mine? They're pretty legendary.” It was true. Everyone always raved about a Rafe Cameron party since they were always the most chaotic and exciting parts of everyone's week.

“I don't think so.”

He rolls his eyes at your response. Normally people would be thrilled if he personally asked you to one of his parties, but you didn't seem at all fazed. You just shot him down without a second thought. “And why not?”

“I'm new to the island. What am I gonna do at a party? It seems pointless.”

He purses his lips, nodding slowly as he tries to come up with some sort of counter argument. “Well what better way to meet new people, right? Plus, you could always just hangout with me and my friends so you're not standing on a wall all night.”

He's not sure why he's so adamant on you going to this party or why he's offering to introduce you to his friends, he barely knows you. He waits for a few seconds before adding a “Please.”

Rafe wasn't one to beg. At all. He never begged for anything ever in his life, nor did he think he ever would. But here he is, begging a girl he just met to go to one of his parties.

“Fine.” You reluctantly agree. You weren't sure what made you say yes but you did. It was probably your own curiosity or the man in front of you. “I'll be there, when is it?”

He grins “Thursday at 9”

[dilf-docs]

X Si Volvemos

ex older bf!logan x younger fem!reader

summary: there are many things you and logan disagree in but not when it comes to things in bed.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (phew), smut, ex!logan, exes to ????, p in v, creampie, reader's in her early to middle twenties so her frontal lobe hasn't developed yet; don't expect any reasonable thinking on her side, logan is on his middle to late 40s, angst (duh), this happens in an AU where mutants don't exist bc i don't wanna complicate myself with timelines lol hence time isn't really important but it's contemporary, the vibes i bring to the function are more sad than horny and i'm sorry, toxic too! may build a series around it?

word count: 1,925 words

side note: the incredible @bpmiranda's got me with a very bad case of ex!logan fever :( plus after listening to karol G's album mañana será bonito and seeing i may or may not be obssesed with romeo santos, i got the song in the title on loop: as you can see, it's all very fitting ++ don't forget to check out her stories, they're so good istg!!!!

You shouldn't call.

"Logan" you speak. His name burns in the tip of your tongue, like a secret you're not supposed to tell.

He shouldn't answer.

It's quiet at first on the other line, until a rough voice says I'm here, appearing to be distant, but who is he trying to fool? As soon as he saw the number pop on the screen, his fingers moved with a learned urgency.

You shouldn't keep calling.

"I need you" three words to cover those you actually mean; hanging in the spaces between the silence.

I miss you. I love you.

Your hear a heavy sigh on the other end.

He shouldn't keep answering.

"Princess..." Logan pleads, "don't do this"

You know better than that, he wants to say, but keeps his mouth shut. Just to hear your voice, just to-

"Please, Lo" you whine out. Logan grabs his jeans with force, the fabric strained under his white-knuckled grip. It takes him a lot not to run to you right there and now.

"Don't" but his voice cracks as much as his resistance.

"I've got the house" you whisper the prayer; a routine so sacred none of you seem to break it, "just for us"

"Y/n" even saying your name is painful; like the most addicting and damaging drug to ever exist, "stop"

Logan loved your stubborn heart, but there are times where he wishes you weren't like this.

"I'm sorry" and then he hangs up.

I'm sorry for not being who you needed. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I keep on coming back after I said I would leave you alone. I'm sorry I can't keep my promises.

You feel it around your neck―bruises in the vocals your voice has failed to scream; it chokes you with rage.

"Are you stupid?" you ask yourself in the mirror.

What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love him more than you love you?

You dial again, but this time, it's a girl who picks up.

"Yeah?"

"Hi. Wanna go out?"

Logan feels so out of place, but this used to be your favorite bar, and he's desperate for a drink.

Listening to your voice has always made him weak, but after you broke up, it drives him crazy.

He empties another glass, feeling pathetic. This is how bad it's gotten: you've got him scouring the places you used to go, chasing your ghost, trying to get a glimpse of your silhouette or a whiff of the phantom of your scent, the lavender haunting him; getting under his skin.

A song beggins playing, and it's the same vinyl set from two years ago. The night he met you: a pretty young thing so out of place in an old bar like that, playing hard to get, only to end the night moaning over him, fogging his car's windows, saying his name in a way no one else had before. He still remembers the way your legs trembled but he held you, beads of sweat confusing themselves with the glitter on your skin. Logan doesn't know what that is, but he's marveled, so in awe of you, everything of you: young, new, exciting.

But every new thing wears out, and the gap he swore wouldn't matter came crashing in years that built a distance between him and you.

So he did what he did best: ruin it. Deny the feelings bubbling inside; let them consume his reasoning, pushing you like he had done with everyone who cared about him before.

When he broke your heart, he took a part with him. So you keep coming back, looking for it; trying to piece yourself together. And he let's you: because God knows you have a part of himself too.

He's so drunk he probably imagines the hint of lavender in the whiskey tinted air. He's so desperate to see you again, he's seeing your face among the crowd. He's definitely gone insane: hearing that laugh he misses every day.

"Y/n..."

The music pauses: all you can hear is your name being said in that way like it belongs to him.

"...Logan"

He walks in autopilot over to the table you and a group of girls are sitting. They're all beautiful―beautiful people attract beautiful people, but he's only got eyes for you.

"What are you doing here?"

He raises a glass he didn't know he was carrying, "having a drink".

Your lips purse, and Logan doesn't know if it's because you're laughing at him or sad.

"I see" but you divert your gaze, looking at your outfit's neck. The outfit you chose: a black dress that pushes your tits on top. They are on display, and Logan feels played by you―his eyes trained on the strained fabric, tongue watering like it did when he would lick your sensitive nipples.

"I see too" he says in automatic, and one of your friends laughs. He looks away, thanking the low lights, or you'd see the red embarrassment on his face.

You stand up and walk over to him, and your friends sense it's time to leave the two of you alone.

"Why did you hang up?" you throw the question so casually; the nerve you have.

"What do you mean?" it's the only thing that comes to his mind. Very stupid, indeed.

You scoff, "delete my number, then"

"You keep on calling" he bites back.

"And you keep answering"

You never shut up. He hates that.

"I may have to stop"

You get closer, way too closer. So much, your hot breathe clouds his judgment.

"Try to" you dare.

And he tries, he really tries. But not today.

Not today when he takes you home, finally looking complete with you in it again. You had moved out after your last discussion, saying you'll never be back.

"You haven't changed a thing" you murmur in between kisses, and he can sense a bit of melodrama in his voice that makes him roll his eyes despite the dull ache on his chest.

He picks up your body swiftly, carrying you up to the bedroom.

"Why would I?" he asks, voice so low and small you almost miss it.

"Because you hate me" you avoid his eyes, even if your faces are too close, loosing all that corageous character of yours, "said you would get rid of it; of everything that reminded you of me"

But when he drops you softly on the matress, there's still that lamp you got him in the night table.

"I couldn't" he confesses.

I couldn't, he means, because I couldn't let you go.

But you both know it won't work out, something you knew right from the start: because toxic loves only fulfill basic needs. This isn't healthy, but he forgets it all as soon as you're moaning his name. Still, he promises himself he will say goodbye to you this time, even if it's inside of you.

"Shut up and kiss me, then" you're always pushing him around, making him do the things he desires to but doesn't want to do.

So he obliges, leaning in, the lavender so strong all over your sweet skin, poisoning his mouth on every kiss he leaves. He feels you squirm under him, goosebumps along your skin, prickling against his, so visible he can see and feel it even in the dim lit room.

"Take it" Logan doesn't look at you, but when he does, you feel him stare deep into your soul, "I know you want it"

He's sliding his dick inside you as soon as the sentence is over, the permission to take you and use you implicit. He robs a drawn-out groan out of you.

"So tight for me" he murmurs against your shoulder, sharp breaths and soft groans flooding your ears. His cock hits deep within you, hard thrust no one has ever been able to replicate, making you gasp for air, burying your face in the plush pillows now drenched in your sweat.

"You're so deep" you hiss, hot and overwhelmed, waves of pleasure hitting like water against cliffside rocks. "So big, Lo" you whine, dizzy at the way your pussy stretches for him.

"Just for you" he grunts out, and it's the truth. No matter how dark the room is or how many faces he avoids, he always looks into the eyes of the other women he fucks, his heart sinking when he can no longer pretend it's you, "fuck, squeeze a bit more".

Hearing his deep voice, rough when you fuck, always making you soak, coating his dick in your juices. You grip tight, as tight as the nails that hold onto his shoulders, making him moan at the pain.

"Like that, princess. Good girl" you moan at the praise, "I know you could take me, all of me"

He grunts and pants, holding you tighter as his cock pumps faster, in sync with your now closer to happening orgasm.

Before it, he slows down his thrusts, "where do you want me to cum, princess?"

He wants to, inside of you, but he can't do so, not when he promised he wouldn't ruin your life. But making you his, marking you as only his, makes his dick inside you twitch. Fuck, he's so balls deep inside you all he can think is filling you up silly.

"Inside me, Lo" like you read his thoughts, and it always amazes and scares him; how deep inside his mind you are. Never happened, not in his four decades of life. And that's part of the problem: he's closer to death than you are but it's only with you, young―blossoming with life, that he feels truly alive.

So how can he say no, when you plead and beg with those pretty doe eyes of yours? Who could imagine such a sweet thing to be so needy. He feels like you could ask for his heart, and he'd carve a hole in his body for you―bleeding out of love; dying with a smile.

"Such a greedy little thing, princess" he mocks, but his tone betrays him―dripping in adoration, "want me to fill you up all nice?"

A broken wail is what he takes as your answer, your mind in blank.

He finds himself letting go, way faster than he should; he just misses you and your needy dripping pussy that much. You can't hold back longer either, rush flowing through your veins, much more satisfying than the alcohol you had drank an hour ago.

Logan paints your insides with layers of his hot cum, mumbling a soft:

"Anything for my princess" he keeps going, panting as he's milked entirely dry, "anything you want, my girl"

Your vision is still spotty, mind fogged: you're sure that's the reason the hurt hasn't settled in your heart yet.

Then the silence comes, like it always does now.

"Y/n" you always love when he calls you by your name, but you hate the way he's saying it now. Like a goodbye.

"Don't-" you plead, begging he shuts up. But he pulls out, and says:

"It's for the best"

You don't want what's best. You want him.

"Can't believe you wore this dress" he traces the pattern of the tight clothes, damped in sweat, "you know it's my favorite. Why?"

You fail to supress a smile, even if it's tired and almost sad, "I knew you couldn't say no".

The truth is, you know many things: like how this is never going to stop until it's destroyed you both.

cr: divider by @kodaswrld / gif @scottxlogan

[l-starsz]

a/n: finally got around to this😛 i hope this is good, i got a bit carried away writing this.. also it won’t let me tag so i left the @ in🥲 (also last request done!!! still not taking any rn though since i still have loads added to my list of things i need to write and post😋)

billie knew how to get a girl. and it showed. she knew the right things to say and when to say them. although she hadn’t been with many girls, she knew the right way to get a girl without making her uncomfortable. and that’s what she did to me.

i’d had men approach me in the past who definitely didn’t know how to properly make a girl feel right, let alone treat one right. but there was something about billie. probably because she was a girl herself, but i could tell that i wouldn’t regret getting her number. she was sweet, and caring, and she knew that. she knew that she could probably get any girl she wanted with just a few simple words.

from that night forward, billie and i talked a lot, and ended up being friends. but there was always something more there. i fell for her the night i saw her, but i didn’t want her to know that. there were obviously feeling on her part too, though.

like the time i told her i’d never actually had an orgasm when someone touched me. i’d been fucked before, but not well. the people i’d been with just waited until they came, and didn’t bother about me. and billie took it upon herself to advise me i guess? well it was more like an offer to help me out. i laughed it off, i thought she was joking, but then she added onto her words.

“baby, when you need the job done, you can call me.” it was a whisper, but loud enough for me to hear.

my cheeks turned pink and i attempted to change the conversation, but her words lingered in the back of my mind. since i didn’t know she liked me back, i was trying so hard to forget about her. i tried talking to people, but they weren’t like her. i even tried to push her away, but it didn’t work. we had plans, and i could barely cope without her.

the day came, i was seeing her for the first time in a while. i’d missed her. and i felt so bad for pushing her away. i was just finishing getting ready when i heard her car revving outside. i knew the sound of her car. i knew it was her. i was going to her house just to hang out for a while, but she insisted on picking me up.

i ran downstairs and after locking my door, i hopped into her car with a smile on my face.

“hi bil!!” i smiled, hugging her tight, and as best i could sitting down, before buckling my seatbelt.

“hey angel! i’ve missed you.” she pouted and pulled off the curb.

“i missed you so much more.” i giggled, leaning back slightly in my seat.

we spoke for a few minutes before i mentioned something.

“it’s so difficult finding good people around here. i swear things will be going well then all of a sudden they’re either a horrible person, or they can’t be bothered to make me finish.” i rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

“well you know that if you’ve never had the one, you can call me, baby.” she smirked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shifter.

of course, my cheeks turned pink again, just like the last time she said something like this. the day went smooth after that, we watched movies, had dinner together, and when it was getting a little late, she drove me home again. i told her i’d get a taxi, but she wouldn’t accept that, she wanted to drive me home.

when i’d got into the house, i immediately showered, trying to clear my mind. i needed her so bad. i couldn’t get her to leave my mind. when i finished my shower, i did some self care, and immediately got into bed. my favourite tv show was calling to me when i turned my tv on, but even with it playing i couldn’t get her words to leave my mind.

when it reached 1am and her words still hadn’t left me, i knew to the only option was to call her. i was soaked just thinking about her, i was desperate. i’d pushed my feelings away for way too long and i couldn’t help myself any longer.

i unlocked my phone and found her contact, clicking on the ‘call’ button with shaky movements. she answered in the first ring, her voice keeping the usual soft edge to it. the one that she only used when she was talking to me. i could hear the smile on her face as she spoke.

“hey pretty, everything okay? i only dropped you home a couple hours ago.”

“i.. billie.” i breathed out. i didn’t even know how to word what i needed.

“tell me, love. what’s the matter?” she sounded more concerned now because of my lack of words.

“i.. need you.” i admitted quietly, closing my eyes, worried for her response.

i knew she wouldn’t react badly, she told me to call her, but i was just nervous to admit it.

“i’m on my way.” i heard her smirk.

“hurry. please.” i groaned, laying my head back and listening to her moving around her room.

i heard her grab her keys, put her shoes on, lock her door, the slam of her car door. the whole time she was driving to my house, we stayed on call making small conversation. it felt like forever before i heard her car pulling into my driveway. i didn’t even need to unlock the door for her, she already had a key.

once i heard her walk into my house, i ended the call and waited for her to come to my room.

the second she was in my room, her lips found mine. her hands were all over me, finding the waistband of my shorts almost immediately.

“bil.. i haven’t-“

“shh, it’s okay i’ve got you. no need to tell me, just let me take care of you.” she cut me off.

i nodded and allowed her hand to slip lower, under my shorts and into my underwear. her fingers slid through my soaked folds, my wetness getting on her knuckles just from brushing against my underwear. the tips of her fingers pushed inside me, causing me to let out a breathy moan.

her thumb was resting over my clit, and when her fingers pushed completely inside me, her thumb applied more pressure.

“please billie! please touch me more.” i pouted and scraped my nails along the sheets.

“no need to hurry, baby. let me make you feel good, take my time, yeah?”

i whined in response. as long as she was here i was happy, so i nodded, but my back still arched up, longing for more. her fingers weren’t too quick, nor too slow. they were perfect.

she knew what i needed. like she’d had my body memorised for years. as if this wasn’t the first time she’d ever touched me this way. i could feel my walls clench perfectly around her fingers, my juices getting all over them.

she found the perfect spot soon enough, making me cry out her name, practically begging for her. that was when her thumb moved away. her fingers kept working inside me, but her tongue replaced her thumb. this was going way better than i could’ve imagined, and i thought that my constant daydreaming about her was perfect.

she flicked, sucked, and carefully bit on my clit, giving me as much pleasure as she could without overwhelming me. that was what got me close. ready to cum.

“that’s it, pretty girl. let go for me.”

she moved away from my pussy, just for a moment to speak, before going right back at it. when my walls were basically crushing her fingers, she worked faster to make me finish. and it worked. i was sent straight over the edge, moaning out her name loud. i tried to stay quiet, considering the time, but she was just too good. too perfect.

“there you go. so perfect for me. took my fingers so good.” she spoke against my lips, carefully pulling her fingers out at the same time, using her words as a distraction.

we got cleaned up after a few minutes of laying in each others arms, and when we were curled up together under my blankets, freshly showered. and i was falling asleep, i heard her speak.

“i get the job done, hm baby?”

“definitely. thank you billie.” i mumbled, before falling asleep with my face pressed against her chest.

[melwnst]

────── ⋆⋅☆CARETAKER, S.W

summary. Sam takes care of you when you’re hurt.

⭑.ᐟhi! Short one again but I had to force myself to post lol! Please interact and send requests ! Here’s another version where Sam takes care of you when you’re sick:)

word count. 380

supernatural masterlist/full masterlist

──────────୨ৎ──────────

Sam doesn’t like taking his eyes off of you. He knows that you’re okay- that now, you’re safe. But even leaving the room, whether it’s to shower, or even just to go make you something to eat, he feels this sense of dread. Like- because he wasn’t able to protect you the moment you got hurt, it doesn’t matter that you’re in bed, you could still get hurt, and he doesn’t like being away from you like that.

You assure him that you’re okay. It’s not like you can die falling off the bed. And it’s just a broken leg- you’ve had worse. He doesn’t care- he refuses to hear it. When he leaves the room- he almost sprints out so that he’s gaining time. So that he’ll be back with you faster, as if that would change anything.

He’s a great caretaker though. It doesn’t matter what you need, or what you crave- he’ll get it for you. He helps with the bathroom, with the showering, he even carries you to the living room for dinner when you want to share a moment with both him and Dean.

Dean makes fun of him. He laughs at how scared he is- because you’re not this fragile thing that’s gonna break the moment he leaves. It makes Dean happy though, that Sam’s found someone who not only drives him insane, but also makes him grounded. He’s never seen his brother be so at peace. Besides the running everywhere and the stress when you’re hurt- otherwise, Sam’s never been so happy, he’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. He’s definitely never cared for someone as much as he cares for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy that. Not necessarily being hurt- but him being almost at your mercy. You like toying with him sometimes- asking for water when you’re not thirsty, just because you think the way he runs out of the room is hilarious- and honestly? You might need a little breather because he gets clingy.

Sam takes great care of you, and it reassures you to know that if this happens again- you’ll never be left alone, he’ll always be there to take care of you.

He’ll always be there to love you.

And he’ll always be there to make you happy.

[prettygirl-gabi]

Title: Dancing with a Stranger

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Rating: T (Teen)

Fandom: UConn Women’s Basketball

Word Count: ~2.5k

Summary: she’s got you dancing with a stranger and she’s not liking it one bit

🏷️: @yailtsv , @paxaz535 , @sitawita , @authentic-girl03 , @vamptizm

I wasn’t supposed to be here.

The club pulsed with bass, neon lights casting streaks of color across the crowded dance floor. Bodies moved against each other, heat rising in the air like static before a storm. I hadn’t even planned on going out tonight. But sitting alone in my apartment, staring at my phone, waiting for a text from Paige that wasn’t coming? That was unbearable.

So here I was.

With someone else.

A stranger’s hands rested on my waist, pulling me in closer as we swayed to the music. I barely caught his name when he introduced himself, not that it mattered. He was a distraction, a temporary fix for the ache in my chest. My fingers toyed with the rim of my glass before I drained the rest of my drink, the burn of liquor doing little to numb the feeling I was trying to shake.

Paige and I were done.

At least, that’s what she had said.

“I don’t think this is working anymore.”

The words replayed in my mind, cutting deeper every time. I hadn’t even fought her on it. I had too much pride for that, even though every part of me had wanted to beg her to stay. Instead, I had let her go. And now, I was here, dancing with someone who wasn’t her.

The stranger leaned in, his breath hot against my ear. “You good?”

I forced a smile, nodding, even though I wasn’t. “Yeah. Just in my head.”

His hands squeezed my waist in reassurance, but it wasn’t comforting. His touch wasn’t right. His body didn’t move like hers. His scent wasn’t the one that used to cling to my hoodie after late-night drives with Paige.

I closed my eyes, trying to let go, to disappear into the music.

But then, my stomach twisted.

A feeling—no, a presence.

I turned my head slightly, and there she was.

Paige.

Standing by the bar, eyes locked on me, her jaw clenched tight.

Her blonde hair was pulled into a loose bun, strands falling around her face. A fitted crop top and jeans hugged her frame, and if I weren’t so bitter, I might have admitted she looked good. Too good.

But her expression?

That was a different story.

She was pissed.

Her grip tightened around the glass in her hand, knuckles white as she watched me. My body tensed, every nerve hyper-aware of the weight of her gaze.

She wasn’t supposed to be here.

Or maybe, I wasn’t supposed to be here.

Dancing with someone else.

Her lips parted slightly like she was about to say something, but she didn’t move.

Fine. If she wanted to watch, I’d give her a show.

I turned back to the stranger, letting my hands slide up his chest as I leaned in close. I didn’t care about him—I barely even saw him. But I wanted her to see. To feel what I felt when she walked away so easily.

Her chair scraped against the floor, and I knew she was coming before I even looked.

A second later, she was there, grabbing my wrist, yanking me back.

“What the hell are you doing?”

I ripped my hand away, heart hammering. “What does it look like?”

Paige’s eyes darkened, chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. “You’re seriously out here with him?”

I scoffed, crossing my arms. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”

The guy beside me cleared his throat. “Uh, do you two need a minute—”

Paige’s glare shut him up instantly. “Yeah. We do.”

I rolled my eyes, stepping away from both of them. “You don’t get to do this, Paige.”

She followed me as I pushed through the crowd, the heat of her presence burning into my back.

“Do what?” she shot back.

“Act like you care.”

“I do care.”

I whirled on her the second we reached a quieter corner, away from prying eyes. “Then why did you leave?” My voice cracked, and I hated myself for it.

Paige sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I thought it was what you wanted.”

I laughed bitterly. “Bullshit. You made that decision all on your own.”

She exhaled sharply. “I was scared, alright?”

“Of what?”

She hesitated.

“Of us?” I pressed. “Of actually trying? Because you’re really good at running, Paige. Really fucking good at shutting people out when things get real.”

She flinched, guilt flickering in her eyes. “I wasn’t trying to shut you out.”

“Well, congratulations. You did anyway.”

A tense silence settled between us.

The music pulsed in the background, distant, muffled.

Paige took a step closer, voice softer now. “I shouldn’t have left.”

I didn’t move. “No, you shouldn’t have.”

She swallowed hard. “And I sure as hell shouldn’t have let you think I didn’t want you.”

My breath hitched.

Because that was the thing—Paige had always wanted me. But she had never been good at showing it.

She reached out, hesitating for a second before her fingers brushed against mine. “I miss you.”

I closed my eyes. “Paige—”

“I miss everything. Us. You. Your stupid movie nights where you force me to watch rom-coms. The way you steal my hoodies even though you have your own. The way you—” She exhaled shakily, shaking her head. “I miss the way you love me.”

I looked away, blinking back the sting in my eyes. “You don’t get to say that now.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not fair.”

Paige reached for my hand fully this time, lacing her fingers with mine. “I don’t wanna be alone tonight,” she murmured, echoing the song playing in the background.

I sighed, leaning my head back against the wall. “I don’t either.”

Her thumb brushed against my palm, gentle, hesitant. “Come home with me.”

I exhaled sharply. “Paige—”

“I know I don’t deserve it,” she admitted. “I know I fucked up. But let me fix it.”

I studied her, searching her face for any sign of doubt. But all I saw was sincerity.

I wanted to be mad.

I was mad.

But I also wanted her.

Always had.

So, I made a choice.

I sighed, squeezing her hand. “You’re lucky I’m still stupidly in love with you.”

Paige let out a breathless laugh. “Yeah?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

A slow smile spread across her lips as she pulled me closer. “Then let’s get out of here.”

I let her lead me out of the club, the stranger long forgotten.

Because at the end of the day, no matter how hard I tried—

Paige was the only one I ever wanted to dance with.

---

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

                 -Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

                             -prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️

[smuttaburger]

Mommy Issues (Seonghwea Smut MDNI)

Summary: What happens when you're cuddling your boyfriend and without thinking, you make a comment about another member of Ateez?

There is just filth under the cut, so MDNI brb I'm gonna go dunk myself in Holy Water

In hindsight, you never should’ve challenged your boyfriend like this. But god damn it was it fun.

All because of a damn TikTok. That cursed app got you in trouble so much, but what’s life without a little risk?

Nothing at the start of the evening was out of the norm after Seonghwa got off tour, cuddles while he played Animal Crossing and you doom scrolled TikTok.

Not remembering that you weren’t alone after months of that being the case, you spoke without thinking.

“Damn, those poor San stans, fuck!” You couldn’t help the blush that crawled up your cheeks at seeing your boyfriend’s friend get chained up before Wake Up.

“Come again?” Said boyfriend asked, a brow risen above his glasses.

“Nothing baby,” You patted his head, hoping it would help him forget the words that left your lips moments ago.

Spoiler alert, it didn’t.

“No, what did you just say kitten?” You gulped at the tone Seonghwa used. It was the one that he used when he meant business. And if that didn’t give it away, the use of the word kitten definitely made it crystal clear.

You shook your head, not wanting to awaken the possessive side of your boyfriend. 

In the blink of an eye, he flipped you two so he was on top of you, your hands pinned above your head by one of his large hands.

“I think my kitten is being naughty. What do we do when she’s being naughty?”

“Punish her,” You mumbled, not wanting him to hear you.

“I’m sorry, speak up, I couldn’t hear you,” You shook your head. He grasped your chin in his other large hand.

“I said speak up,” His voice deepened as he slipped into his more dominant persona. The one that made you shake and cry for him either to stop or keep going.

“I don’t wanna,” You whimpered.

“Why not?” He demanded.

“Bcause,”

“Because why?”

“I don’t wanna get punished,” You finally gave him what he wanted. So he had heard you right. And from the look in his hard almost black eyes, he had your punishment picked out.

“Pick a number over 5,”

“Eight,” He smiled a little, knowing why you picked that number. He sat you on his lap. His eyes tracking you like a panther waiting for his prey to enter the trap.

“Bend over Kitten,” You obeyed, resting your belly on your boyfriend’s lap with your ass in the air.

“Good girl,” He purred before ripping your lounge pants down your legs, knowing full well that you weren’t wearing panties since you two were originally winding down  for bed after your shower together.

“Count for me,” You nodded.

Smack

“1,” Your voice was clear in his ears, despite the handprint that was starting to become visible.

Smack

“2,”

Smack

“3,” Your voice started to waver a bit as you felt his large hand start to sting.

Smack

“4,” It started to burn now, making a tear leave your eyes.

“You’re halfway there baby girl,” He switched hands as his first hand started to now sting from spanking you as hard as he could.

Smack

“5,”

Smack

“6,” Your voice wavered as the smacks started to reverberate and spread to the place you now needed him the most.

Smack

“7,”

“You can take one more. This is your punishment, not mine. And you picked the number, not me,”

Smack

“8,”

“Good girl,” He slowly started to massage your now cherry red ass.

“You might as well ride me, Kitten. Since you can’t lay back,” He leaned back, patting his lap, where his cock was strained against his gray sweats.

You swung your legs to straddle him, determined to mess with his head and drive him insane.

“Gotta get rid of these,”

“Who’s the boss here, you or me? Huh? Who was the one being a little slut on TikTok. Looking at someone other than me,” He punctuated every sentence with a roll of his hips, the friction on your bare core making your head swim. 

“You, and I was the bad one,” You whimpered.

“Yes, you were being a bad girl kitten. Now for your punishment,”

“You spanked me! Wasn’t that punishment?”

“That was only part of it. Now’s when the punishment really begins.You’re not allowed to cum until I say so,”

“Okay but no using your tongue. That’s not punishment, that’s torture,” he grasped your chin in one of his large hands again, forcing you to lok him in the eyes.

“First off, who made you think you were in charge of your own punishment? And secondly, who said anything about eating that pretty pussy? But now that you mention it,” he got a devious smirk over his plump lips.

Oh shit!

“If it keeps your eyes from wandering, what’s pleasure without a little suffering? Plus I’m starving,” he growled as he threw you onto the bed, crawling up your body, lapping at your legs. As he got to your thighs, he started to suck harder, even biting a bit. At least enough to give you that sweet mix of pain and pleasure that you oh so craved while he was on tour. You moaned as he inched closer and closer to your heat.

Nothing compared to how your boyfriend ate you out, knowing exactly what areas to put more pressure on than others in order to send you to the heavens. Your hands flew to his hair, wrapping it tightly in your face, making a moan leave Seonghwa’s puffy pink lips.

The moans from him caused a vibration to rub on your pearl, making your own moan rip through the air, and your back to arch.

You were only stopped from him putting one of his large hands on your stomach to keep you still. When he introduced his long dexterous fingers to the mix, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Without warning, he stood up, stripping off his own lounge pants.

“I want to feel you cum on me,” He explained before entrapping your lips in a heated kiss. One where he dominated, and you let him. Seeing as you trying to avoid it was what got you partially in this predicament in the first place.

In record timing, he had his pants down, his cock springing free: red and angry from being hard for so long without release. As quick as he was off you, he was back on you, slipping into your damp heat.

With how long he was on tour, you had to take a second to reacquaint yourself with how big he was.

“Fuck Kitten! You’re so tight. I’m almost afraid to move. Almost,” he smirked before pulling your lips into another kiss and rocking his hips. You had to grasp his hair in your hands. You needed to pull on something, and your boyfriend’s silky jet black locks worked perfectly.

“I can tell you’re close Kitten. Cum for me,” He ordered and it was like you were pulled down in the tidal wave of pleasure at his words, not realizing how much you both needed this.

“Atta girl, Just keep listening to me Kitten,” He acted as your lifeboat in the tidal wave, keeping you grounded to your body.

“F-Fuck!” He hissed before you could finally make out his contorted features as he let his own pleasure fill him before filling you to the brim.

Once you both were back on Earth, the first thing Hwa saw was you running your fingers through his silky locks.

“I love you,” You whispered as his eyes fluttered and he could slowly piece together all of your features. The sex hair leading to the look of bliss in your eyes, and finally, all of the hickeys he left on your skin.

You attempted to stand to get water for both of you and some baby wipes to clean up. Except your legs weren’t cooperating.

“Damn Hwa, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to walk for a bit,” You giggled and he chuckled, pressing another sweet kiss to your lips.

“I’ve got you Kitten,” He told you before throwing a robe on and getting the recoup items.

“It’ll make you think twice about looking at San, right?” He chuckled, handing you the water bottle.

“I don’t know, seeing you get all possessive was kinda fucking hot,”

Taglist: @the-princess-of-mischief-1998 @multidreams-and-desires @faeratil

Read the other guys here: Hongjoong, Mingi, Wooyoung

[insidekatmind]

Christmas in Sharm el-Sheikh-Jude Bellingham

wearning:+18,smut

The scent of the Egyptian sea mixed with the sweet aroma of coconut and vanilla that you emanated every time you moved. The warm, light air caressed your skin, while the sun kissed every inch of your body. Sharm el-Sheikh was the perfect setting for your Christmas getaway, an oasis of peace away from the chaos of the world.

Jude watched you from the next deck, sunglasses lowered over his nose to admire you better. You wore a white bikini that stood out your golden skin from the sun, and every move you made seemed to be done to provoke it. His lips curled in a mischievous smile.

"If you keep moving like that, baby, I swear I’ll get you out of here," he said in that husky voice that made you melt every time.

You turned to him, the dark sunglasses concealed your eyes, but the smile you threw at him was more than eloquent.

"Take me away?" you taunted him, biting your lower lip slightly.

He leaned forward, taking off his sunglasses and staring at you with those dark eyes that had caught you from day one. He approached slowly, never taking his eyes off yours, and when he was close enough to make you feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, I whispered: "In a room where I can finally have you all to myself."

Your heart was beating hard in your chest. The electricity between you was palpable, and the sweet and sensual tension became more intense. With a smile of defiance, you rose from the deck and reached out to him.

"Then what are we waiting for, Bellingham?" you asked, tilting your head to the side with a provocative air.

Jude’s eyes were burning with desire. He seized your hand with a firm grasp and stood up, high and imposing before you. The people around him were gone. For him, it was just you.

You walked together to the resort, with him holding your hand as if he never wanted to let go. His fingers touched yours with a sweetness that contrasted with the intensity of his gaze.

When we got to the room, Jude closed the door with one foot and gently pushed you against the wall. He locked your face in his hands, thumbs touching your cheeks with infinite sweetness.

"Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment?" he muttered, moving his forehead closer to yours. "Since we booked these holidays. I couldn’t wait to be alone with you."

His words made you shiver. You wrapped your arms around his neck, drawing him closer to you.

"What are you waiting for?" you whisper, challenging him with a smile.

Jude did not reply with words. He kissed you. It was a slow, deep kiss, full of emotion and desire held back for too long. His soft lips moved patiently on yours, as if he wanted to savor every second. His hands fell down your sides, caressing you with ease, taking all the time of the world.

His fingers stopped on your hips and squeezed them slightly, as if he wanted to imprint in memory every curve of your body. When he broke from your lips, his eyes were dark with desire.

"Do you have any idea how much you drive me crazy?" he whispered with his forehead still against yours, his voice low and hoarse.

You put on your toes, touching his ear with your lips.

"Show me, Jude," you answered with a whisper.

No need to repeat it. He took you in his arms with a fluid movement and carried you to bed. He laid you gently on the pillows, with the delicacy of someone who handles something precious. His eyes never left yours, not even for a second.

"You have no idea how much I want you," he muttered, his hands moving along your bare legs, caressing you with an exasperating slowness. "Every time I look at you, I wonder how I ever earned a girl like you."

"Maybe you earned it," you replied, trying to control the frantic heartbeat.

Jude laughed softly, that low and sexy laugh that made you crazy.

"If so, then I want to earn it every day," he said, stooping over you to steal another kiss.

Enter into you in one shot and groan. "fuck babydoll always so tight for me" groan to his words and raise your hips to take more. Feel his muscles tense against you and whine wanting to hear more.

"Jude don’t hold back and just please me" you murmured.

Jude moans at your words starting to fuck you faster. You could feel his body pressed against yours as he holds you against his body and you scratch his back asking for more.

Jude smiled enjoying your reaction and this thing only stimulates him and fucks you even faster. In the room of the tree you could only hear the sound of your wet skin, your deep breaths and his cock coming in and out of your wet pussy.

"Jude" you moaned as you clung more to his back. He grunts and pushes even faster.

"you look, do you like it? you like it when I fuck your brain and make you scream my name like a bitch in need,hm? Jude murmured and every thing he said increased his impulses, sending you ever closer to his deliverance.

"Yes daddy" you cry without realizing too drunk by his cock that was making you enjoy so much.

Jude moans at your words, feeling a surge of power and desire for how you were submitting to him. Start pushing even faster inside you that you didn’t even feel your pussy anymore, only the pleasure it was giving you.

"Damn you, baby, you’re gonna make me lose all control. I’ll give you whatever you want, baby. You’re gonna take my dick, you doll?" grunts as it pushes even harder inside you and you scream of pleasure nodding. "si daddy whatever you want".

Jude’s rhythm accelerates as he senses that you were very close. Your desperate cries feed his desire. He penetrates you ever more deeply, his body moves with a primordial retraction. You screamed loudly as you clenched closer to him.

"so beautiful Jude, give me more" beg him and he grunts. "yes darling, you want more,huh? you want it even stronger and faster? He said, pushing even more and you could feel the bed beneath you as it was moving.

"you’ll take everything I give you like the good girl that you are, yes?" he muttered increasing the pushes and you screamed more scratching his back.

Jude hearing your cries smiled loving the way you were giving yourself to him. It moves faster and stronger, giving you everything you ask for and more. He is lost in the moment watching you while he fucked you, consumed by the need to claim you and make you all his own.

"yeah baby, you’re so good for me. You’re taking it so good, aren’t you? you’re gonna take all I have to give you, right?" Jude groans to you and you whine at his words and nod as he scratches his back again.

He groans deeply as you cling to him with your nails that sink back into his back. The pain and pleasure that this action was giving him increased his need for Jude and was bringing him close to the limit.

"you darling, what a good girl you are for me" mumbles Jude exhilarated and you moan "only your daddy" you say crying of pleasure.

He feels a wave of possession overwhelm him at your words, the claim of ownership both pleasing and empowering. He looks into your eyes, his gaze becomes even more intense and darker.

"Damn right you’re mine, baby. Mine and only mine. No one else is gonna touch you like so. No one. You’re all mine, aren’t you?" He grunts as he puts his hand on your throat and keeps fucking you and you groan.

"All your daddy" you say moaning as you look at your boyfriend.

Hearing your confirmation of his submission feeds his need to fill you with your cum. Jude feels a surge of power and pleasure over you, loving the way you submit to him completely. It draws you more to itself, its voice is a possessive growl while it speaks to you at the horcrick.

"That’s right, baby. You’re all mine.My good,sweet,obedient,girl. You’re mine to touch, mine to claim, mine to protect and cherish. Mine, damn. All mine. Say it again" groans at his words.

"All your daddy. Nobody can compare to you" you mumbled.

Jude’s heart beats to your words, kisses you fiercely as his hands grip your hips while he slams faster inside you making you cum on his cock. After two more hits, Jude also reaches his climax and kisses you softly.

After he cleaned you up he took you in your arms and gave you sweet kisses all over your face.

The rest of the afternoon was spent between smothered laughter and sweet whispers, slow caresses and kisses that never seemed enough. The hours seemed to stop while you enjoyed each other’s presence, far from the world, as if time itself had decided to give you a break just for you two.

Later, as the sun set over the horizon and golden light filtered through the curtains of the room, you found yourself hugged, with his head resting on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you.

"I don’t want it to end," he whispered against your skin, kissing your neck softly.

"It will never end, Jude," you replied, caressing his hair with your fingers. "Wherever we go, there’ll always be you and me."

He lifted himself slightly to look you in the eye, and you saw that spark of sweetness and love that he reserved only for you.

"I love you," he said, with a disarming sincerity that made your heart tighten.

"I love you too, Jude," you answered without hesitation.

He bowed down to kiss you again, more tenderly this time, as if he wanted to imprint in that kiss all he felt for you. And at that moment, it mattered neither the sea nor the sun nor the world outside of that room.

It was just the two of you, and that was all you needed.

[soobinologisttt]

moonlit moments - choi beomgyu

pairing ☆ beomgyu x f. reader

word count ☆ 3.1k

warnings ☆ bestfriends!, switch beomgyu!, camping!, reader drowns but is okay!, tent sex!, overstimulation!, riding!, beomgyu has a dirty mouth!, reader on on birth control!, (be safe guys), very cute!!

guys this is my first time writing non-dom stuff. i tried my best. hope u enjoy!!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"i am so excited!" you say from the back seat. sitting in the middle, you lean up between the passenger and drivers seat.

"i know you are y/n. you've only said it 10 times already." beomgyu pats your head with a smile.

soobin is driving you two and yeonjun is driving taehyun and kai.

you have been waiting for this trip since the beginning of the school year.

you all got together and planned this after finals, you were all going to go camping in the mountains.

you remember telling them that you were going to camp alone, in your own tent.

"i am going to buy my own tent!" you smiled widely.

"y/n? are you sure? it's gonna be kind of spooky up there." soobin asks.

"i am a big girl soobin," you cross your arms and lean back in your chair, "i can handle myself. plus, you all will be next to me."

"suit yourself." soobin retreats as he shrugs.

that night you went home and ordered yourself a pink tent with a pink sleeping bag.

you also made a list of things you might need, such as a light, a portable charger, etc.

although it was months away, you were too excited to not make these lists.

now that is actually happening, you can't help but repeatly tell the two guys how excited you are.

"the next time you say that, you're going into yeonjun's car y/n." soobin says tiredly.

"someone is grumpy." you say to attempt to whisper to gyu.

"i am right here." soobin grumbles.

you turn to him, "do you want me to drive? you seem tired."

"can i trust you?" he says as his eyes stay locked on the road.

"of course. just pull over at the next rest stop. beomgyu, text kai."

beomgyu pulls out his phone and you catch a glance at his lockscreen.

it's you two, when you first met.

you both met as freshmen in high school.

you were the new kid and beomgyu invited you to join his group project.

you came after the project started so you didn't know who would let you join or not.

thankfully for you, two giggly boys asked you join them.

since they looked nice you accepted.

since then, you have been inseparable.

even deciding to go to the same college. and now here you are, heading into your senior year.

you can't help but smile at the memory.

the picture is you on his back as he carries you around the carnival that you begged to go to.

you had just gotten off a ride and you were getting sick. so beomgyu decided to carry you to the car. you're head is barried in his neck and he is smiling widely at the camera.

the guys always swore that you and beomgyu would get together before high school ended but it never happened.

you weren't disapointed about it since, you didn't want to ruin your friendship.

the closest you both got was a makeout when you were both drunk.

once soobin pulled into the rest area, you jumped out of the car. you're bladder was screaming at you. asking for a release and quick.

"where are you going y/n?" beomgyu quicky jumps out after you.

"i have to pee." you call back as you run into the rest stop.

beomgyu quickly follows you.

"i am going to wait for you out here." he says loudly into the bathroom.

you smile at his over protective personality.

it's always been like this. if you were going somewhere alone, he would call after you and offer to come with.

you quickly use the bathroom and wash your hands.

once you're out, beomgyu is by your side. walking back to the car with you.

"you know, i'm a big girl right?"

"i know," he sighs, "you can never be too safe y/n. i dont ever want to lose you."

you can feel the red spreading across your face at his words.

"i dont ever want to lose you either, gyu."

once you get back to the car, soobin is already fast asleep in the back seat. snoring loudly.

"i guess, he was really tired." you giggle to beomgyu as you both get into soobin's car.

"i guess. are you okay to drive? not tired right?"

"i am too excited to be tired right now." you laugh as you start up the car.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

once you get to the parking lot, you are starting to regret your choice of sleeping alone.

nothing but woods are around you. it's a five minute walk to where you will be camping and it's only trees.

you expected there to be even a few people staying in the same place.

but no, there is nothing but trees for miles.

"are we almost there?" beomgyu calls.

seemingly tired from the long walk.

"almost." soobin doesn't look up from the large map in his hands.

you all walk for about five minutes before finding a clearing.

it is a piece of land surround by trees. it didn't help you ease up at all.

if anything, it made you more nervous.

"are you okay y/n?" kai breaks you out of your scary thoughts.

"are you having second thoughts?" beomgyu asks.

you shake your head with a nervous laugh.

"nooo! i was just admiring the.... trees?" you bluff.

"the tree's y/n?" soobin gives you a confused look.

"yeah, they are so large!" you laugh.

"well, pick your spot and get to work! unless you want to sleep on the hard ground tonight." soobin intructs, waving to the empty space.

"okay dad." you roll your eyes.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

it only takes you 30 minutes to set up your baby pink tent.

"about time y/n." taehyun laughs.

you stick out your tongue at him.

"you can't say anything taehyun. you sat and watched soobin set up your tent."

to save money, the guys decided to share tents. soobin and taehyun in one, and kai, beomgyu, and yeonjun in the other one.

"hey, he offered." taehyun shugs and sips on his drink. he is sat around the makeshift fire pit in his camping chair.

before you could think of a come back, kai interrupts.

"according to the map, there is a lake that way," he points to a trail that is different from the one walked, "anyone wanna go?"

you immediately shout out, "i'll beat you there!"

he takes off running and you quickly follow bhind.

"beomgyu, please grab my towel. it's in my tent, in my bag." you yell back as you chased after kai.

"okay!" he yells back.

you keep running, to catch kai, and when you finally do you pull him back.

"hey that's cheating." he laughs.

"yeah, u sure know alot about cheating mr. "i'm not hiding any uno cards."" you snort.

"hey, that was only one time!"

you continue to run before slowing down.

it's gorgeous. a body of water with a waterfall across for where you stand.

you see kai dash by you and hear him yell, "i won!"

but you're too focused on the beauty of wilderness to care.

"it's so pretty." you say to kai.

just then he takes the time to admire the beauty of his surroundings.

"this is so cute." he looks at the waterfall.

"let's swim." you take off your shorts and shirt to reveal your baby pink two piece.

you didn't mind being around them in a bathing suit since once they walked in on you changing.

nothing really happened, you just covered yourself and scolded them on knocking.

now, you could care less. you see them all as your brothers, and know that they see you as their sister.

you walk into the warm blue water and continue until it is shoulder high.

you know that the guys would want to go futher since they are all giants but you went as far as you think was a good idea.

you're not the best swimmer and don't want to drown with just kai here. more hands and eyes means the less of a chance you'd drown and die.

you turn around and watch the water from the waterfall fall. wishing you could go to it. to stand under it.

before you know it, there is a boy throwing you over his shoulder.

"kai! kai! kai, you know i can't swim that well," you panic as he walks deeper into the water, "what are you doing?"

"you're fine y/n. I wouldn't let you drown. beomgyu would kill me." he laughs.

once we get close to the waterfall, he lets you down. but out of reflex (and general scaredness) you wrap youself around the boy.

he flexes up and attempts to pry me off of him.

"take me back kai," you nearly sob, "i don't like this."

just as he is about to turn around you hear a voice call you from land.

"what the fuck are you doing?" beomgyu fums.

you quickly let go of kai, only to slip under the water.

you start to panic as you slowly fall.

you attempt to swim up but no matter what you do, you feel yourself continue to go under.

that's until you feel two large hands pull you up.

you spit out the water in your mouth and begin to sob.

you have no idea who has got you but you hug onto them tight.

"it's okay, y/n. i got you." you hear beomgyu soothe you as he rubs your wet hair.

"i was so scared." you cry into his shoulder.

"i know y/n. i know."

once you feel safe, you pull back to look at beomgyu. he has his shirt and pants still on.

"beomgyu! why are you still in your outside clothes? what about your swimming trunks?"

"you were going to drown y/n." he sighs, "like i said earlier, i never want to lose you. i would do anything to keep you safe."

you blush and hide your face in his neck.

"can we get out of the water now?" you hug onto him.

"whatever you want." he holds on to you.

as you walk out of the water you hear multiple voices speaking.

"i am so so so sorry y/n. i didn't think that would happen." kai profuessly apolzies.

"you're okay kai, i jumped from you." you give him a small smile.

"we can go home if you want." soobin tries to comfort you.

"no, no," you shake your head, "we have been planning this since freshman year."

"i am okay guys," you reach the shore and beomgyu puts you down, "you guys can continue swimming. i need a moment."

they are give you small smiles and hope that you feel better.

beomgyu walks with you, picking up your towel that he dropped when he jumped in.

"don't you wanna swim too?" you look over to the boy.

"no, i need to make sure you're okay." he replies back.

instead of aruging back, you accept his presence as you walk back to th camp site.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

later that night, as you're laying in your tent, you can't help but think about how you felt during the incident.

the feeling of helplessness and fear. you feel it running through you veins.

that's when you hear a sound outside of your tent.

you gather yourself and grab the nearest thing to you, which happens to be a flashlight.

you hear the unzipping of your tent and brace yourself. your flight or fight mode is in full effect.

that's when you hear his voice, "are you okay?" beomgyu asks.

"not really." you huff out in relief.

he zips up the tent and sits on the edge of your sleeping bag.

you both sit there quietly until you speak up.

"i can't stop thinking about it. the way i felt." you feel youself start to tear up.

beomgyu moves to the middle of your sleeping bag, facing you.

although it is dark, you can make out his face. his beautiful nose, eyes full of life, and the frown on his lips.

"i am sorry y/n," he looks into your eyes, "i should of been there quicker."

"no gyu, don't blame yourself."

"i mean, i have no idea what i would do without you y/n. you dont know how much you mean to me."

he brings his hand up to your face and slowly strokes your cheek.

"gyu, wha are you-." you didn't get the chance to finish.

beomgyu's lips were on yours.

once you overcame the shock, you close your eyes. feeling more at peace. forgetting what happened earlier in the day.

he takes his hand from your face and reaches behind you, placing his hand on the small of your back.

you turn you head to deepen the kiss, opening your lips a little to allow him access.

he slides his tongue in in a swift motion.

you moan lightly at the action.

"i've dreamed about this for so long." he confesses as he pulls back silghtly.

you smile on his lips.

"have you now?" you tease him.

he smiles, "yes, for a long time."

he crashes his lips back onto yours, slowly moving to lay you down.

you uncross your legs and send them straight.

beomgyu is still kissing you as you fall back and hit your pillow.

"is this okay?" he looks down at you with his big pretty brown eyes.

"yes, please going gyu."

he doesn't miss a beat to start kissing you again.

when he slides his tongue across your lips, asking for entrance, you groan out.

you can feel beomgyu's cock grinding onto you. causing you to moan out more.

you pull back with a needy moan, "i need you right now."

he doesn't miss a beat as he flips you.

"please ride me y/n." he pleads.

you know you can't control yourself when it comes to him so you slip your hand down to his cock.

"fuck y/n."

"do you have a condom?" you lean down and whisper into his ear.

"i didn't even think about that. i dont, fuck. i'm so sorry y/n."

"gyu, i'm on birth control." you pull back and continue to palm him through his pajama pants.

"i bet you feel so good y/n. i need it so bad, please, please, please fuck me."

you pull down his pajamas pants bring his underwear with it.

he helps you out of your pajamas and underwear.

he runs his hands down the curve of your body. taking in every minute, wanting to remember every second of it.

he knows he'll be fucked after this, he'll want to do it all over again.

you hover above his hard length, slowly lowering yourself onto him.

"you feel better than i ever imagined, fuck."

you sit there stunned at the pure size of him.

"fuck gyu, you're so big." you try to keep quiet. fearing that you'll wake your friends.

"c'mon, you can take it."

"mhm," you start to slowly ride him.

"you can do better than that baby." he grips you hips, guiding you to go faster.

you struggle to stay quiet as his cock hits all the spot that you can't reach.

"gy-u-u, it's too much." you whine as he keeps guiding you.

"you just feel so good princess. please don't stop."

you bite your lip so hard it draws blood.

you watch as his brown eyes roll to the back of his head.

"you feel so fucking good y/n." he groans as he graps your hips harder.

he was surely gonna leave marks.

you attempt to speed up, although you can barely handle it.

"fuck gyu, you're so deep. if you go any deeper you'll be in my stomach." you throw your head back.

"mhmm, you look so pretty riding me. such a good girl taking all my dick." he purrs.

you grip his abs through his shirt as you continue letting him abuse your cunt.

"gyu-gyu-gyu oh my fuck, i'm gonna come."

"me too baby. keep going just like that." he looks up at you before throwing his head back.

you listen as you both chase your highes, getting slopper by the second.

"beom-beomgyu, i'm gonna fucking scream." you warn him.

he flips you both over so he is on top.

"you gotta stay quiet my princess. you don't want then to hear us. i want to be the only one who hears you."

he places his hand on top of your mouth as he thrusts into you.

"fuck, i love fucking you. nothing will compare now."

you moan into his hand, your cunt pulsating around his dick.

it only takes you a couple more thrusts before that feeling in your stomach explodes.

you let out a stranged cry as he continues ramming into you.

"hmm, i'm so close," he whispers into your ear, "please let me keep going, baby."

you give a slight nod and he continues his rampage on your swollen folds.

"so-so close." he says as he finally releases all of his come into you.

you can feel him twitch in you as he collapses on top of your mouth.

you both heave out.

"that was so amazing y/n. oh my god, ive wanted to do that first so long." he rolls off to to lay on his side.

"well... it doesn't have to be the last." you smile.

he brings you close and eventually you fall asleep to his heartbeat.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"guys." you hear from outside your tent.

you roll over and slowly open you eyes. sunlight pouring into your tent.

"where is beomgyu?" you hear soobin say.

"i don't know, the last time i saw him was last night and he wasn't here when i got up."

your eyes widen as you realize the situation you have found yourself in.

"gyu." you whisper as you shake him up.

he groans out, "please, can we sleep some more?"

"we should ask y/n." you hear them walk up to your tent, knocking on it like it is a door.

"are you awake?" yeonjun calls out.

"yeah! one second please." you call out, causing beomgyu to shoot straight up.

"okay, beomgyu is missing. have you seen him?"

you look at beomgyu with wide eyes.

"i'm in here," he says proudly, "i didn't want y/n to get eaten by a bear or something." he comes up with a half assed excuse.

you roll your eyes and giggle to yourself.

"well come out, it's breakfast time."

"we'll be there in a minute." you call to them.

as they walk away you can hear yeonjun tell someone, "i told you this would happen. where is my 50 bucks?"

you giggle and look at beomgyu with his big brown eyes.

you give him a quick peck before getting up and getting around.

"come on. a girls gotta eat. especially after last night." you wink at him.

[inkedbybarnes]

anything

bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: bucky is determined to take care of you while you're sick.

word count: 1.6k+

warnings: mentions of insecurities, mentions of illnesses (but vaguely described), fluffy ahh shit bc why not, usage of pet names such as baby and doll. bucky being stubbornly sweet (it is indeed, a warning), lowercase writing.

i've been sick the past few days hence the creation of this fic. idk why my mood drops when i'm sick... once again, this is too fluffy even for my own good but i warned you and you're reading it still anyway. 🤨 haha jk, i hope you enjoy this one! 🩷

dividers by @cafekitsune!

reblogs, comments, and likes are highly appreciated! thank you. ♡

“can you please let me in, baby?"

that was the fifth time bucky had asked the same question, never giving up on his mission to take care of you after learning from jarvis – out of all people... or robots? – that you were sick.

“bucky, i promise, i'm fine. stop trying to break the door,” you answered, your clogged nose not helping as you sounded horrible even with a concrete wall separating you from him. “go and tell steve that you're joining the mission. you can't withdraw yourself just because i'm—achoo!”

your nose began to leak, and you were now distracted with the need to find the tissue box that used to be on your bed. you didn't hear the door clicking open as well as the heavy footsteps of a certain soldier walking towards you.

“just because you're what? sick?”

you jumped, feeling the edge of the bed sink with his weight. you quickly grabbed the tissue box that was mysteriously thrown under the bed before facing bucky with the duvet covering most of your body.

“how did you open the door?”

bucky shrugged. “i broke the doorknob. you didn't say anything about breaking doorknobs.”

you sighed, not winning this argument with bucky. “you shouldn't be here, bucky. you're supposed to be preparing for a mission tomorrow, not babysitting me!”

“and let you go through this on your own? tough chance, doll. i'm your boyfriend for fuck's sake, and don't tell me that you're worried about getting me sick because we both know i'm immune," he argued, reaching out and pulling the blanket down enough to reveal your face. “are you really upset that i want to take care of you? you should be demanding things from me, baby. instead you've been hiding from me.”

“because i don't need anything, bucky. i can handle myself just fine." you huffed, knowing you wanted his attention and care so badly. remembering your face was exposed, you felt insecure again. you dragged the cover back up and turned away. “i also don't want you to see me like this.”

“like what?"

“like a mess," you muttered underneath the sheets. “you've never seen me like this before, and i swear i am the worst when i'm sick. you don't have to see me like this, okay? i don't want you to.”

you felt silly. it was completely normal to get sick, but you hated how extreme your body would act out whenever an illness would attack you. you'd always sound and look like you were fighting a battle in hell alone. the way your mind would take an entire flip and drag you to your lowest point didn't help either. so, not only were you feeling physically horrible, you were also struggling mentally.

“a mess? what mess?” he asked, lifting the cover to join you underneath it which caught you off guard. you were entirely exposed to his eyes now. “there's my girl. where's the mess that you're talking about, huh?”

with the little amount of energy left in you, you brought your hands up to cover your face. he could see how much of a mess you were now, far from the dream you've painted since the day you dated him. now, you were nothing but a nightmare of your reality.

“don't you dare hide from me. i haven't seen you all day and it's driving me insane," he complained, pulling your hands away from yourself. he brought his thumb to your teary eyes, wiping the tears away before they could fall. “i can't believe you're hiding from me just because you think i can't handle seeing you sick. what did you think i'd do once i saw you like this?”

you sniffed, hesitation holding you back from telling him the truth. it's only been three months since you've started dating bucky, and you were still in that stage where you'd constantly try impress him.

you weren't faking yourself, no. however, you still did your best to only show your good side and tuck away your insecurities. unfortunately, you had to get sick too soon and have to risk bucky seeing you this way.

“you thought i'd leave you? won't like you anymore? get turned off or something?”

you nodded, knowing that was exactly what went through your head and a bit pissed that he was able to read your mind without actually having the power to do so.

bucky's eyes softened at your confession, letting out a soft sigh as he saw how badly you were beating yourself up.

“if it's because of how you look right now, then it's true. you do look different," he answered, your chest tightening. “your eyes lost their glow, you're frowning more often, your eyes are all puffy, you are definitely grumpier than usual, your lips are dry and chapped from—”

“okay, i get it, bucky! you don't have to rub it in my fa—”

“but i won't be doing whatever is on your mind. you're sick, doll. it'll affect you. it's normal. hell, i look even worse when i used to get sick, but you? you still look so fucking lovely." he held your face gently, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “even then, i don't give a fuck on how messy you can get. i'm your boyfriend. i should be taking care of you, helping you feel better, and bringing back the glow in your eyes. please, baby. let me take care of you.”

this time, you were looking back at him. "you mean it?"

"of course I mean it," he replied softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "i love you, doll. i don't care how you look like right now. you could look like a swamp monster and be sick as a dog, and i would still think that you are the most beautiful woman for me."

you giggled softly, his words filling you with warmth and reassurance. you felt so lucky to have a man who truly loved you and handled your insecurities with such understanding and care, and even sillier for thinking he'd leave you for such reasons.

“thank you. that really made me feel better," you told him, your arms slowly creeping forward to hold him. “i'm sorry for hiding. i was just scared to turn you off or anything.”

“are you kidding? i'm trying my best not to hold you down and kiss you all over. i haven't even hugged you for a day,” bucky said, a pout on the verge of forming on his face.

“it hasn't even been a day, bucky. now, who's dramatic?" you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “and you're supposed to be on a mission tomorrow! are you really not going?”

“when i could be here taking care of you?” he asked, as if the answer was already obvious. “the others can handle it. my main priority is to do anything you want and make you feel better.”

“anything?”

he smiled, leaning down to let your lips meet softly. "anything."

( a lil bonus < 3 )

“what is that smell?”

sam, steve, and natasha entered the compound after a quick briefing for their mission tomorrow. they joined tony and clint who were having a casual conversation in the living room about the best burrito in town.

the kitchen was an open space, the aroma of whatever bucky was cooking spreading all around the nearby rooms.

sam didn't hesitate to come closer and inspect the kitchen, finding the entire counter lined up with various spices and plates that bucky filled with his dishes.

“what's the occasion? did i miss something?" sam asked, grabbing a fork to take a little taste until bucky slapped his hand away. "ow! what was that for?"

"hands off." bucky warned, frowning at sam. “that's not for you, wilson."

“not even a nibble? come on, man. it smells amazing!”

their usual bickering caught the attention of the other avengers, immediately joining them in the kitchen which annoyed bucky even more when he saw them eyeing the food he made.

"before any of you try to ask, no. this is not for any of you."

"who's it even for?" natasha asked, the least interested to have a taste, but was curious either way.

bucky answered with your name. "she's sick."

"what? since when?" clint asked, worry flashing across his face. "can we do anything?"

bucky glanced up before hesitantly answering. "well.. she did say she wanted to watch a movie after eating."

clint snapped his fingers and smiled. "i'm on it."

"i'll get jarvis to check on her vitals every hour and create a diagnosis," tony said, already tapping on his smart watch. "assuming she wouldn't be too comfortable letting the entire team know what's going on with her body, i'll just let you receive the updates. just update me with what you can, yeah?"

"i'll talk to fury and let you both have a week free from work," steve offered. "she needs the rest and she needs you."

"oh, i'll handle fury. he can't say no to his favourite," natasha said with a smug smile. "tell her i'll bring her all her favourite snacks once we're back from our mission, and that she better be back to full health so we can go out together."

bucky nodded, chest warming with the genuine concern they shared. he was excited to let you know how loved and deserving of all this you were.

if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

The Homeless Post

Hey, guys. I've been working up the nerve to post this for a while. I'm putting most of it under a cut but I'll give the TLDR up here:

We are going to be homeless for an unspecified amount of time due to some legal issues - whole separate post. We will be living out of the car and a tent, so essentially long-term camping. We need some gear and other assorted items. Here is our wishlist.

Signal boosting is appreciated for obvious reasons.

I have a Paypal.me and a Ko-Fi; the Ko-Fi has a store that will soon have stuff available on it, and a subscription model. I also have Chime, Paypal, and Cashapp, all with the cashtag NovasPrime. At a later date I may set up a gofundme but I don't really want to right now, because guilt and self-internalized ableism is a helluva drug.

On to the story.

So, we were told (mid-December) that we needed to be out by the end of February, from the place we were living in, or eviction would be filed. I don't want an eviction on my record, so I started the process of working towards that goal.

I quickly realized that there was an Issue, and the Issue was that we simply cannot get into any of the low-income housing because… Raven has a felony "failure to comply" warrant in Oregon.

We were surprised, because we thought they were in compliance, but it turns out… No. No, they were not. The records of their attending therapy and anger management were not being sent to the place. On top of that, I discovered that they had ordered Raven to do community service, and even though they were helping with lots of causes and orgs down here, it doesn't count.

Why, you may ask? Well, for one, it wasn't being documented. Not a huge issue, it can be. But also…. They wanted Raven to do THEIR community service.

Which they wanted to charge $40 a day for.

Raven is a disabled veteran. They are limited in the type of volunteer work they can do, but also? They can't afford $40 a day for 30 days. Who the hell can? Why would that be a thing?

After a couple of phone calls, I realized we just needed to go to Oregon. So I began planning for THAT. Our roomie was still adamant about the end of February, so I started planning. We got a storage unit and started sorting shit, and packing it, and slowly transferring it to the storage unit.

And then Shit happened, as it does. The car started overheating. It has also come due for an oil change. It needs a transmission flush, too. And new brakes. Some of this I can do myself, but some of it I can't. I have a friend who could help me do most or all of it, but he's on house arrest until March 25th (he is in recovery now, but drunk driving is a bad thing, guys. Don't do it). He said he'll help after he gets off, which is awesome of him, but like. That's still about a week away (as of right now, because he works) before I can even get the overheating taken care of, let alone the rest.

In the midst of all of this, I was also trying to figure out a timeline... and realized I couldn't, because we had no idea how long we were going to be in Oregon. I have a few friends scattered throughout the state, but I wasn't counting on being able to stay with anyone. We have three cats and two people. What to do?

A friend of mine agreed to watch two of the cats for me for as long as it takes. She has her own house and cats of her own. So, until the car started overheating, we brought the two girl cats over once a week to get used to the place and meet her cats.

But we weren't packing fast enough. Winter is a rough time for both of us because of our disabilities; the weather makes it painful to move. We also had to sort through 20 years of assorted shit; at one point I had a life that hadn't fallen fully apart, so I kept everything. Plus, I had all of my dad's shit that I inherited. I've finally accepted that I can part with most of the useless stuff, but some of it I can't bear to. TLDR: our stuff is mostly still at the old place.

I was able to work out a deal with the friend who's taking care of our cats, to crash at her house for a month. WE and the CATS were out of the old place by March 1, but our shit wasn't, and we've had issues packing it up and moving it. Luckily, old roomie has agreed to just tack an extra month of rent onto what I owe him (to be paid back when we get back from the debacle in Oregon) so we're slowly moving things to storage. I'm just constantly filling the car with water to keep it from overheating and praying that the engine can take it.

However, here's the thing. The Big Thing.

We're technically homeless now, and we'll be Real Homeless as of April 1. The car cannot currently make it to Oregon (honestly? I'd rather buy a cheap minivan or SUV, and leave the car here with my kid, but I simply don't have the money, even though there's a ton of them for sale around here in good shape).

We're going to have to rough it for a while. Raven can get a pass to camp for free at all Nevada State Parks for $30 a year, so we're getting that on payday, and we have a decent tent and sleeping bag (singular, but it'll do). I have some assorted camping gear, even. But there's a lot we do need to just….fix our shit and be able to get to Oregon. Oregon has one of these as well, and it allows 10 days of camping per month. It's free and we've already applied for it. California has one too, but you have to apply in-person if you're not a CA resident. So that'll happen in a bit.

But we are gonna need… help. Raven gets VA disability. $2200ish a month. Sounds like a lot right? It's not. It's really not.

Between car insurance, gas, fixing the car, general car maintenance, phone bills, food (we qualify for a whopping $26 a month in SNAP benefits), things we have to buy to fulfill our end of bargains here, and the camping gear we DON'T have, next month is looking pretty awful.

While Raven is in jail, they get no benefits. I'm also disabled, but juuuust disabled enough on paper that I can't get disability (as you can guess, this is going to be even harder now in the Trump administration, so I'm just working on geting documentation of my disabilities so that when he's gone I can apply). I can't hold down more than really really part-time work because of pain and mental health issues, even though I have been desperately trying to find one. So I'm going to have to survive off of doordash, most likely.

If Raven's jail time isn't going to be that long, it's not that big a deal.

They could be in jail for up to six months.

So, why this post?

One, to explain that my posting will be very sporadic and frenzied when I do. More than usual, anyway.

Two, because I'm going to need your help. There are several ways to help.

Encouraging notes! Currently we have a PO Box, listed above. When we go to Oregon, if we're going to be there for more than a week or so, I'm getting another PO Box and getting mail forwarded from that one to the Oregon one. Digital notes are nice too. I just really like postcards, little cards, letters, etc. Pictures of cool shit where you live. Whatever. Something to keep my spirits up. Anything.

I have set up a wishlist, as seen above. I know, we don't like Amazon, but I don't know where else to do a wishlist that doesn't like. Give out a home address. Since I'm having this stuff shipped to a friend's house, I really don't want to do that. Once I'm in OR, I'll find out where I can have things shipped. PO Boxes are hit-and-miss with Amazon.

As noted above, I am accepting donations and I have a Ko-Fi store and subscriptions. I am working on getting things put onto the Ko-Fi store on a pay-what-you-can model; anything from short fiction to Am Adult instruction sheets to 3D designs, whatever I can manage at any given time. Raven will also be doing drawings and such. I'm also working on making things available to anyone who chooses to subscribe!

Signal boosting this post. I need as many people to see it as possible, not just for monetary benefit, but so I can find people in Oregon maybe willing to let me and my one cat crash on their couch or pitch the tent in their back yard. I'm also going to be documenting all of this and getting documentation on the case in the first place, because Raven shouldn't have even been arrested. So I need people to see this so that word gets out about this kind of thing. Oregon needs to change some shit.

Thanks for reading. I'll have updates as I can.