#I want to be vulnerable and open and willing but I’m scared

[lie-lacdreams]

Thermodynamics and Turmoil (Curly x Reader pt.2)

Hi friends -- I'm putting out the second installment to this quickly to gain some more momentum! Thank you for all of the support so far - I wasn't sure how well this was going to do but I hope you've been enjoying it. If you have any questions about the story so far, pls ask! I love interacting :)

engineer! reader x Curly TW: vulgar language, mention of thermo transfer theories (EWWWW), and catching feelings (ew pt.2), oh, and the existential dread of unsatisfaction that ambition can bring to your life, leaving you hungry and wanting more Word count ~ 2.0k

“Daisuke, come back here! I’m going to kill you right now!!” A flash of pink passed Curly before halting to a quick stop to hide right behind him.

“Captain, please save me! Aaaah!” Daisuke screamed as he caught sight of (Y/N), who just came around the bend of the hallway hunting him down. 

“What’s going on here?” Curly asked, observing (Y/N’s) disheveled appearance. Her jumpsuit was zipped halfway up to her torso and her hair still looked disheveled from sleep. 

She slowed down to a stop, now embarrassed that she had been caught in such a state by the captain before replying, “This… one over here had the genius idea to turn off my alarm and I slept in three extra hours. Could you please hand him over so I could maim him?” She peered to the side of Curly to narrow her eyes at Daisuke, who let out a shriek and made himself smaller behind the man in front of him. 

“Oh? I had asked him to do that, actually,” he mused. 

“Pardon me?” she straightened.

“You looked so exhausted yesterday, you deserve a few extra hours of rest after giving yourself no breaks. He was just following Captain’s orders.”

“Oh… I see. Uhm, thank you. I guess you’re off the hook then, Dai. Has Swansea got you working on anything right now or do you want to come shadow me? I have to take a look at the pressure in the steam pipes.” she asked the intern. 

“Yes! Let’s go. I wanna hear about what you were up to all of yesterday. Swansea and I like, didn’t see you at all. Will you let me help out today?” He came out from behind Curly and started walking ahead of (Y/N), eager to please and for something to do. 

“Heh, sure. See you around, Captain.” she said a bit sheepishly, trailing behind Daisuke. After a good night’s rest and the initial panic of waking up late, the interaction with Curly finally sunk in for (Y/N). She typically kept her emotions so detached from the crew and her work and it almost horrified her how easily it was for her to open up to him last night in a moment of vulnerability. As much as it made her uncomfortable to realize that she had run her mouth and ranted to him, she woke up with a feeling of relief. Sure, her job was still going to be hard, but knowing that her captain believed in her and was willing to help in any way he could gave her a sense of peace. 

She stopped by some pipes in the corner of the hallway and turned to Daisuke. “Okay, let’s get to work.”

After a few hours of working and (Y/N) explaining Nusselt theory with Daisuke half listening, she finally called for a break. 

“Nerd,” he teased as he stuck his tongue out at her. “How did you even come to like any of this stuff anyway?” They leaned on the wall, sitting on the floor together.

“I don’t know. To be honest, I never really knew what I wanted to do in my undergrad. I just picked chemical engineering because it was kinda interesting but hard and so rewarding when I understood it. Getting my PhD in it after working for a few years just seemed like a natural next step.” She turned to Daisuke. “I know you’re in college now, and everyone is probably asking you the same thing and you’re sick of hearing it but what do you want to do?”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” he started. “I think everyone around me has these expectations that I’ll do something great, and I’m so scared of disappointing them. They say the sky’s the limit and that’s what scares me. I could do anything with my life, so how do I know that whatever I choose won’t be the wrong path?”

“I don’t believe in such a thing as a wrong path,” she responded. “Whatever you choose, you make the best of it and try your hardest. Everything happens for a reason.”

Under his breath, Daisuke laughed. “Man, maybe Anya should hand over the wellbeing check-ins to you. You’re like, so philosophical.”

“Oh God, no. I could never be held responsible for people like that. I’d go mad.” She stood up, dusting off her pants and held a hand to him. “I think we’re pretty much done for the day, believe it or not. Wanna go play some Uno?”

Spending the rest of the day relaxing after the past few days of struggling was refreshing and just what she needed. That night she finally joined the rest of the crew for supper, laughing with Anya about something too far away for Curly to hear. Their little family was complete tonight and it was moments like these that Curly savored. He wished that every moment on the Tulpar could be like this. 

A few days later, Curly was exiting the cockpit and was startled to nearly trip over (Y/N). “I’m so sorry, Captain. I had no idea you were in there.” She looked up from her mess of manuals, a notebook, and trusty abacus, a pencil tucked behind her ear. 

“It’s alright. Are you alright?” He asked.

“Yes, just looking at our fuel today and trying to make the Tulpar cooperate with me.” She furrowed her brows. 

“Need a hand with anything?” He offered, crouching down to look at the paper in her hands. 

“O-Oh, only if you aren’t busy, then yes, I would love some help, actually. But I don’t want to be a burden.”

He shook his head. “Nonsense. The ship’s on autopilot right now and Jimmy will take over for me in fifteen minutes anyway so I’m all yours.”

“Okay,” she flushed. “Thank you, come with me please.” She led him a few paces away. “See this? If you could read me some of the values over here that would be great. This here is the manometer, it measures pressure and over here is the oxidizer. There are a few things I need you to read aloud to me.”

After getting all the information she needed, she bid Curly goodbye and looked around for a place for her to do her calculations. Settling for the couch in the lounge, she got to work when Daisuke plopped down right next to her. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” he started.

“ ‘Sup?” She asked, distracted.

“Fuck, marry, kill: anyone on this ship.” His lips spread into a shit-eating grin. 

“Fuck Curly, marry Anya, kill Jim– wait a minute, what??” She looked up from her notebook. 

Daisuke’s eyes lit up before his face twisted into an expression of evil delight. “Ohohohoo yooo (Y/N) you wanna fuck the captain?”

“No!! Stop that!! You asked me that while I was distracted and not really paying attention. That’s not true.” She swatted at him.

“Sure, but that doesn’t change your answer now, does it? Damn, you answered that shit with no hesitation too!” He shrugged his eyebrows. “Since when did you have the hots for the captain?” 

“Sure, I find him really attractive, okay? I admit it. It’s not that big of a deal. Okay then, what about you?” She crossed her arms, face flushed and flustered. 

Daisuke’s face contorted to one of disgust. “Eww nah I can’t do this! Swansea and Jimmy are just-” he made dry heaving sounds. “You and Anya are like my older sisters, so that’s absolutely not happening. And Curly – okay I agree with you on that one but like, he’s so much older.” he shrugged. 

She let out a ‘harrumph’ before going back to her work. “Doesn’t Swansea have something for you to do, huh?” 

Daisuke shook his head. “I’m just waiting ‘til dinner.” He kept her company on the couch as she worked, playing on his gameboy and trying his best to stay quiet so she could concentrate. Supper was a quiet affair today, with not everyone showing up to eat at the same time. People came and went, in and out of the lounge, eventually going to bed. (Y/N) was still up, now in loose pajama pants and a sweatshirt, criss-crossed on the couch and reading a book in the light of the night time screen. Anya had already gone to bed and so she sat in the lounge so as to not disturb her sleep.

“Hey,” said the captain. “Mind if I join you there?” She smiled up at him before patting a spot next to her on the sofa, inviting him to sit with her. She noticed that he was still in uniform as he sat down, draping an arm over the couch and facing her. 

“You weren’t there at dinner today, did you have a chance to eat?” She asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Anya brought Jimmy and me dinner. We’re heading straight for a belt of asteroids so we had to do a bit of charting and manual steering to make sure we don’t crash. We should be fine and taken care of now,” he massaged his temples with a hand.

“You look pretty tired, Captain. If you were busy today, you know you didn’t need to help me out, right? Take care of your obligations first.” She looked up at him and the blue glow of the large screen somehow seemed to soften the look in his blue eyes. Dammit, Daisuke, she thought. Admitting the captain was handsome out loud only made her more aware of it. Even with bags under his eyes and the rugged state of his beard, she couldn’t help but blush under his gaze, so she turned to look at the fake moon on the screen. 

“No, I enjoyed helping out today. Ever since you opened up to me, I want to make sure that you have the support that you need. It’s my responsibility, after all.” He followed her gaze to look at the display screen as well.

“Don’t you ever get burnt out juggling all of this? It’s a lot to pile onto just one person, and the company makes it even worse by making things accessible only through you. And in the end, you’re the one who’s responsible for our performance on this trip.” She turned back to him now, concerned. 

“Sometimes, I guess. I started here on a pretty low rung of the ladder, but I always dreamed of doing something greater. The higher and higher I climbed, the more complicated things got, more liabilities were piled on, but I couldn’t help but keep climbing. There’s still something missing from my life, and even if I get to the top, I’m not quite sure if I’ll ever be satisfied.”

(Y/N) paused for a moment to think. “Would you ever leave this line of work to pursue something completely new, even if it meant having to start over from the beginning?”

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, I’ve done it once before, so it isn’t that intimidating to have to do it again.”

She nodded. “That’s very admirable. In a sense, it seems like you know what direction you know you want to go in, even if what you want isn’t clear. I respect you a lot for that, Captain.”

Curly shook his head. “Please, I think we all in one way or another are trying our best out here. We all have responsibilities we have to take care of by being on this ship.” He glanced at her again. “And honestly, you know you can call me Curly, right? Jimmy does it, my friends back on Earth called me that too. At this point we’ve gotten pretty vulnerable with each other over the past few days.”

“Okay, C-urly. Maybe not on duty, but right now it doesn’t sound too bad.” (Y/N) was praying that the glow from the screen concealed her hot and flushed face. After these past few days of getting to know the captain a bit better, it was so easy for feelings to snowball. Brushing the fluttery feeling she had aside, she stood up. “I think I’m going to head to bed now. I hope you’ll do the same, Curly. Thank you for being vulnerable with me.”

After he heard the door shut quietly, he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, giving the display screen one last look before getting up and going to bed himself.

------------------

Thanks for reading! Give me a few days and I'll be back. Cheers!

[starryeyesmasc]

*a deep and heavy sigh* yeah we’re yearning in the club tonight boys

[strohller27]

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[natsaffection]

Lines crossed. Pt. 2 | N.R

Avenger!Natasha x AntiHero!Reader

Warnings: 18+! Fluffy Smut (fingering and oral), talk about past, scars

Word Count: 2,8k

A/N: Okay, since the first part exploded and many people wanted a sequel, the second part is now here!

Part 1

The first light of dawn filtered through the rain-streaked windows, casting a soft glow over Natasha’s apartment. The storm had passed, leaving a quiet stillness in its wake. Natasha stirred from where she had been sitting, her eyes red and heavy with exhaustion. She had stayed by your side all night, watching over you, making sure your condition didn’t worsen.

You lay on the couch, covered by a warm blanket. Your breathing was steadier now, though your face still bore the marks of pain and fatigue. Natasha stood up quietly, stretching her stiff muscles before heading to the kitchen to make some coffee.

The aroma of fresh coffee filled the room, and the sound of the percolator seemed to rouse you from your restless sleep. Your eyes fluttered open, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings before your gaze settled on Natasha. She approached with a mug in her hand, her expression a mix of relief and concern.

“Morning,” Natasha said softly, handing you the mug. “How are you feeling?” You winced as you shifted to sit up, accepting the mug with a grateful nod. “I’ve been better,” you replied, your voice raspy. “Thanks for… everything.”

Natasha sat down on the edge of the coffee table, her eyes searching yours. “You gave me quite a scare last night. Do you remember what happened?”

You took a sip of the coffee, the warmth soothing your throat. “Yeah… I was outnumbered. I thought I could handle it, but…” You glanced down at the bandages on your side, your expression darkening. “Guess I miscalculated.”

Natasha’s eyes softened. “You’re lucky to be alive. Those wounds were serious.” You sighed, your shoulders slumping. “I know. I just… didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

Natasha reached out, placing a hand on your arm. “You did the right thing coming here. I’m glad you did.” You looked up at her, a hint of vulnerability in your eyes. “I’m not used to asking for help. It’s not… easy for me.”Natasha nodded, understanding. “I know. But you don’t have to do this alone. We can help you. I can help you.”

You hesitated, the weight of your past actions pressing heavily on you. “But what about S.H.I.E.L.D.? The Avengers? They won’t just forget everything I’ve done.”

Natasha’s expression hardened with determination. “We’ll figure it out. But first, you need to heal. Then we can talk about what comes next.” You nodded slowly, the reality of your situation sinking in. “I don’t know if I can ever make things right, Natasha.”

Natasha squeezed your arm gently. “It’s not going to be easy, but you’re not beyond redemption. We all have our demons. The important thing is that you’re willing to try.”You met her gaze, the flicker of hope in your eyes growing a little stronger. “Thank you,” you whispered. “For not giving up on me.”

Natasha smiled, her eyes warm. “You know,” she began, her voice soft, “I also wasn’t always this person. I used to be someone very different. My past… it wasn’t pretty.” You looked at her, curiosity piqued. “What do you mean?”

“I was trained to be an assassin,” Natasha said, her eyes distant as she recalled her past. “I did a lot of things I’m not proud of. But then, I was given a second chance. Someone believed I could be more than what I was trained to be. They saw something in me worth saving.” You listened intently, feeling a connection forming. “And you changed?”

Natasha nodded. “It wasn’t easy. It took time, and I had to face a lot of my demons. But I did it. And if I could do it, so can you.” Her words resonated deeply within you, giving you a glimmer of hope. “I want to believe that,” you said quietly. “I really do.”

Natasha’s gaze softened, and she leaned in a little closer. “You’re already taking the first steps by being here. That’s more than enough for now.”

Without thinking, driven by a sudden surge of emotion, you leaned in and pressed your lips to Natasha’s. The kiss was gentle but filled with desperation and gratitude. For a moment, Natasha froze, and panic set in. You pulled back, your eyes wide with fear that you had ruined everything. “Shit, I’m sorry,” you stammered, your heart pounding. “I shouldn’t have—”

But before you could finish, Natasha cupped your face in her hands and kissed you back, her lips soft and warm against yours. The kiss deepened, filled with unspoken promises and a shared understanding of pain and redemption.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless. Natasha’s eyes held a mix of emotions, but there was no anger, only acceptance. You stared into her eyes, feeling a connection that you had never felt before. The room seemed to close in, and the outside world faded away. All that mattered was the two of you in that moment.

Driven by a mix of gratitude and the need to repay her for her kindness, you leaned in again, kissing her more deeply this time. Your hands found their way to her shoulders, pulling her closer. Natasha responded, but with a controlled intensity that made your heart race.

“I kinda want to repay you..” You said and Natasha pulled back slightly, her eyes dark with emotion. “You don’t owe me anything,” she said firmly, though her voice was gentle. “But if this is what you want… then let me take care of you.”

Natasha’s hands moved to the hem of your shirt, but she paused, glancing at your bandaged side. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” she asked, concern evident in her voice. “I am,” you replied, your voice steady. “Just… be careful.”

Natasha’s eyes softened, and she carefully lifted your shirt over your head, her touch both gentle and firm. She ran her hands down your sides, avoiding the bandaged wound, her fingers sending shivers through your body.

You reached out to touch her, but Natasha gently pushed your hands away, a smirk playing on her lips. “Let me,” she whispered, her voice low and commanding.

You felt a thrill of excitement and a hint of frustration. “What if I want to take care of you?” you challenged, your voice breathy. Natasha’s eyes flashed with amusement and something darker. “We’ll see about that,” she replied, her tone teasing but firm.

She leaned in, kissing you again, her hands exploring your body with a careful yet possessive touch. Her lips trailed down your neck, making you gasp softly. You felt her fingers brush against the scars on your chest, and you tensed slightly.

“You’re beautiful,” Natasha murmured against your skin, her words sending a warm flush through you. “Every part of you.”

You relaxed under her touch, feeling safe and cherished. Natasha’s hands moved with expert precision, caressing and teasing until you were trembling with need. She was rough enough to assert her dominance but always mindful of your injuries, never pushing you too far.

“G-God..” you moaned softly, your hands gripping the couch cushions as she continued to drive you wild with her touch. “Shh,” she whispered, her lips brushing against your ear. “Let me take care of you.”

You surrendered completely, allowing Natasha to guide you. Her movements were a perfect blend of roughness and tenderness, making you feel desired and protected at the same time. She kissed her way down your body again, exploring everywhere, her touch igniting a fire within you.

You couldn’t deny how good her touch felt. Natasha continued to explore your body, her hands and mouth leaving a trail of sensations that made your head spin. She was rough enough to keep you on edge but always careful, never letting you forget that she was in control.

When she finally moved lower, her hands parting your legs, you gasped, your body arching towards her. “Natasha,” you breathed, your hands reaching for her.

She held your gaze, her eyes dark with desire. Your breath hitching as she moved closer. Natasha’s touch was both commanding and gentle, her fingers exploring you with a skill that left you trembling. She brought you to the edge, holding you there, her eyes never leaving yours.

“Please,” you begged, your voice barely a whisper. “I need you.” Natasha’s lips curved into a smile. “Patience,” she murmured, her touch driving you wild. When she finally took you over the edge, it was with a fierce intensity that left you breathless and trembling.

You cried out, your body arching towards her, your hands gripping the couch cushions as waves of pleasure washed over you.

Natasha held you through it, her touch gentle now, soothing you as you came down from the high. She pulled you into her arms, holding you close, her lips brushing against your forehead.

She kissed you again, her lips soft and inviting. You could feel the fire reignite within you as her hands roamed your body with renewed fervor. She leaned back slightly, her eyes meeting yours with a dark intensity. “Ready for more?” she whispered, her voice husky. You nodded, your breath hitching. “Yes… please.”

Natasha smiled, a predatory gleam in her eyes as she resumed her exploration. She kissed her way down your neck, her hands caressing your sensitive skin. Her touch was both commanding and tender, igniting every nerve ending as she moved lower.

You gasped as Natasha’s fingers found their way between your thighs, her touch electric. She moved with a deliberate pace, building you up again with expert precision. The tension within you coiled tighter and tighter, the need for release almost unbearable.

Natasha leaned in, her breath hot against your ear. “Come for me, Y/n, come on..“ she commanded softly, her voice sending shivers down your spine. With a cry of pleasure, you came undone beneath her touch, your body arching towards her as waves of ecstasy crashed over you again. Natasha held you close, her hands steadying you as you trembled in her arms.

When you finally came down from the high, Natasha kissed you softly, her eyes filled with warmth and satisfaction. “You did so well,” she murmured, her voice soothing.

You lay there in the aftermath, your breath slowly returning to normal. Natasha’s arms around you felt like the safest place in the world. She glanced down at you, her eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and concern.

“Y/n,” Natasha began softly, her fingers tracing the scars on your body. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s a long story,” you murmured, your voice tinged with sadness. “I wasn’t always like this. I had a family once. A sister. She was everything to me." Natasha listened intently, her hand gently stroking your hair. "What happened?"

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "She got involved with some bad people. Tried to help her, but it was too late. They... they killed her. The police did nothing. They said it was an accident, but I knew better. I saw the bruises, the fear in her eyes. I knew she was in trouble, and no one was willing to help."

Natasha's eyes softened with understanding. "So you took matters into your own hands." You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. "I couldn't let those monsters walk free. I couldn't let anyone else suffer like she did. So I started hunting them, taking down the ones who hurt innocent people. It became my mission, my way of coping with the loss."

Natasha pulled you closer, her embrace comforting. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. No one should have to go through that." You sniffled, wiping away a tear. "I know what I did was wrong, but I felt like I had no other choice. I had to do something."

Natasha nodded, her voice gentle. "I understand now. Your intentions were good, but the methods were extreme. But we need to find a better way." You looked up at her, a glimmer of hope in your eyes. "Do you really think it's possible?"

Natasha smiled softly. "I do. But it's going to take time and effort. And you're not alone in this. I'll be with you every step of the way."

The next few days passed quietly. Natasha helped you regain your strength, providing a safe space for you to heal. She was always there, offering support and understanding. You found yourself opening up more, sharing stories and fears you had kept buried for so long.

One evening, as the two of you were sitting on the couch, Natasha turned to you, her expression serious. "Y/n, there's something I need to tell you."

You looked at her, sensing the gravity in her tone. "What is it?" Natasha took a deep breath. "Don’t be mad, but I called Fury. He's on his way here."

Your heart raced, a surge of panic rising within you. "What?! Why? I thought-“ Natasha raised her hands, trying to calm you. "No, listen. He's coming alone, and he wants to listen to you. I explained your situation, and he agreed to hear you out."

A short while later, there was a knock at the door. Natasha stood up, giving you a reassuring nod before opening it. Fury entered, his expression unreadable but his presence commanding.

"Romanoff," Fury greeted, his gaze shifting to you. "Y/n." You swallowed hard, trying to steady your nerves. "Director."

Fury sat down across from you, his eye fixed on you with an intensity that made you shiver. "Natasha tells me you want to make things right. I’m all ears.“

You took a deep breath, recounting your story, your motivations, and the reasons behind your actions. Fury listened intently, his expression unreadable.

When you finished, there was a heavy silence. Fury leaned back in his chair, his gaze never leaving yours. "You've taken the law into your own hands. That's a dangerous path.“

You nodded, "I know what I did was wrong. But to all respect..Do you know what it’s like to watch innocent people suffer because the system is too slow or too corrupt to act? To see those people walking free because they can afford good lawyers? I did what I did because someone had to.”

Fury sighed, his expression softening slightly. "You're a fighter, Y/n. I can respect that. But you need to learn to fight the right way." You looked up, surprised by his words. "What do you mean?"

Fury glanced at Natasha before continuing. "You want justice? Fine. We'll give you a chance to prove yourself. You'll work for us, under supervision. Help us take down the real threats, the ones that slip through the cracks. But you step out of line, and it's over. Understand?"

The weight of his words settled on you. This was it, a chance to prove yourself, but also a heavy responsibility. You glanced at Natasha, who gave you an encouraging nod. "I understand," you said firmly. "Thank you..“

"Good," Fury said, his voice firm but not unkind. "Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D. Don't make me regret this."

---

As you walked through the halls of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, you felt the eyes of agents on you, their expressions a mix of curiosity, suspicion, and, in some cases, outright hostility. You tried to ignore the whispers and the glares, focusing on the promise you had made to Fury and to yourself.

Natasha guided you to a conference room where the Avengers were gathered. The room fell silent as you entered, every eye on you, again.“

"Everyone, this is Y/n," Natasha began, her voice steady. "She'll be working with us from now on." Tony was the first to speak, his tone skeptical. "So, we're just supposed to trust her now?"

"I know it's a lot to ask," Natasha replied, her gaze steady. "But she's here to make things right. And Fury's given her a chance. We need to give her one, too."

Steve stepped forward, his expression serious. "It's not going to be easy. You'll have to earn our trust. But if Natasha believes in you, that's a good start."

You nodded, feeling the weight of their scrutiny. "I know I have a lot to prove. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "I won't let you down." Natasha guided you to a room in the living quarters. It was small but comfortable, a far cry from the places you had been staying in recently.

"This is your room," Natasha said, her voice softening. "It's not much, but it's a start." You looked around, feeling a strange mix of emotions. "No, it's perfect.."

Natasha placed a hand on your shoulder. "Remember, you're not alone. We're in this together." You nodded, feeling a sense of hope for the first time in a long while. "I know. And I won't forget it."

As you settled into your new room, the reality of your situation began to sink in. The road to redemption would be long and difficult, but with Natasha's support and the chance to prove yourself, you felt ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead. And as you lay down to rest, you knew that this was just the beginning of a new chapter in your life. A chapter filled with hope, determination, and the promise of a better future.

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@mrsrushman @lOnelyish @imnotslouching @a-colletion-of-cells

[heavenbarnes]

okay hear me out— softness and gentle topics aside, how would older bf!simon go about discussing his mom & Tommy? would it ever occur? Would it be a vulnerable and gentle discussion with sins laid on the table or would it be like pulling teeth— panic attack arises and the words are spewing.

at first I’d have headcanoned it that maybe we innocently question the clinginess but I’m not so sure anymore; feels like that would just be second nature for the two.

i’ve never ventured into this topic because it’s literally so devastating that i almost considered writing it out of canon for him- but it’s time 🫶🏼 (massive tw for family loss)

the day older bf!simon tells you about his family, it’s at breakfast.

he’d made the food and you’d made the coffee, both expertly passing each other in your kitchen until you’d settled at the table.

when he told you, you had toast hanging out your mouth.

“pardon?”

“i had a family”

you weren’t really talking about anything in particular, so you made quick mental work of skimming over your conversation until you found where this was coming from.

sunny outside, nice day, should go to the farmers market, get groceries, it’ll be crowded, family day-

i had a family

had.

oh.

your heart had start to speed up in your chest and part of you was scared simon’s military precision hearing would be able to tell.

judging by the look on his face, distant, quiet- he couldn’t hear the thrumming against your sternum.

you were thankful, it meant he kept speaking.

“my mum and my brother, tommy- he had a missus too and a kid”

had.

oh god.

he wouldn’t look at you, his gaze drifted out the window and onto the birds that were floating over the fruit tree in the backyard.

you couldn’t say there was much of you to look at, a hardline of your mouth and eyes that were willing themselves not to water.

“they weren’t in a good way- but i helped them get better”

the corners of your lips quirked reflexively but it fell away just as quickly, unable to escape the voice in the back of your head that kept saying the same thing.

had.

why is every thing in the past tense?

probably for the same reason this is the first time you’re hearing this story. when is the right time to get to this part?

the moment he cuts the rope, lets you down from where he’s had you hanging- you wish you could react in any other way.

instead, your mouth hangs open while your hand does its best to cover it.

the toast goes cold, so does the coffee.

the tears break through of their own accord.

and he still won’t look at you.

“oh, simon”

your mind races in a way you’ve never felt before, thoughts you’d never had before rising to the surface.

first, you want to hurt someone, anyone- whoever you can blame for doing this to simon.

(you quickly realise he’s probably already done that)

second, you want to take him by the shoulders and tell him that this was never his fault.

that there was nothing he did or could’ve done to deserve this.

and you’re sure that there’s layers to his job and things he’s done and seen that’d make him think that cannot be true.

but you don’t care- there is no human alive that could ever deserve what you’ve just been told.

you don’t care.

you love him.

third, you start to make sense of some of simon’s behaviours.

the way he calls your name when you’re at the other end of the house, just to know where you are.

the way you can turn around at any given moment and find him closer than your shadow.

the way he calls you on deployment only to hear you tell him you love him and you’re still home waiting.

the way he cannot exist without a hand on you, without knowing where you are, without knowing you’re still his.

and there you go again, wanting to hurt whoever put him in this position.

grateful to be able to love him how he needs but angry- blind rage in knowing what he went through to get to this point.

it’s why you’re out of your seat and wrapping your arms around his shoulders the minute you hear even a sniff.

you let him ruin your shirt with tears as strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you so close into him you wouldn’t be at all surprised if the particles shifted just enough for you to become one.

as if you weren’t already.

you’d never, never ever, questioned simon’s ever present need to be close. you’d come to accept it, enjoy it, miss it when he was gone.

it was never overbearing, never out of line, always right when you needed it.

reminding you that he was there.

that he loved you.

that he needed you.

just as much as you needed him.

and god, did he need to be needed.

did he need you to pass him the pickle jar (even when you could open it just fine)

did he need you to make him take the rubbish out (when you could do it yourself)

did he need you to call him when the car was making a funny sound (when you knew it was the fan belt)

did you need him to pull you into his lap at the end of a long day and rest his lips against the crown of your head as he rubbed slow circles into your back.

like you were doing for him now.

“simon, i just need you to know- i’m not going anywhere”

you made it to the farmer’s market, eventually. it was crowded, meaning simon’s arm never let your waist.

not that you mind.

not that you ever mind.

[blingblong55]

Soft things- Simon "Ghost" Riley NSFW

Kinktober Day 12

Based on a request: Soft dom Ghost!Soft dom Ghost!Soft dom Ghost!Soft dom Ghost!Soft dom Ghost!Soft dom Ghost!Soft dom Ghost! Thank you and have a lovely day ---- F!Reader, MDNI, 18+, soft dom!Ghost, sub!reader, unprotected!sex, P-in-V ----

Fuck you're such a good girl when you're here with him like this. "Y/N," he murmurs, his voice low as his eyes trace your figure sprawled across his lap. His fingers glide from your cheek to your chin, firm but gentle, coaxing you to meet his gaze.

With a subtle shift, his thumb hooks beneath your chin, tilting your head back so he can take you in fully as if he’s seeing you with fresh eyes. Ghost still hadn’t quite gotten used to it—maybe he never would.

Did it mess with his head? Maybe. But that’s why he kept you close.

What started as a clear-cut dynamic between dom and sub blurred when you began sharing a space. Now, thoughts of returning home—to you—scratched at the back of his mind in ways he didn’t expect. It was meant to be simple, a release, not something that stirred up feelings. Feelings Ghost had long since buried.

He never dealt with emotions—never wanted to. It wasn’t in him to try. To him, people were dangerous. They brought failure and vulnerability. And were they caring about someone? That was a weakness that could get you killed.

"Look at me." His tone is firm, but there’s an underlying edge, as his thumb drags over your lower lip, slow and deliberate.

You’re stunning to him, and that’s what throws him off balance. Ghost, always in control, was softening in ways that scared him. But for you? He was willing to let that iron grip on himself slip. Patience, something that had thinned over the years, stretched further than he thought possible for your sake. Maybe you were worth that.

"Open your mouth, sweetheart," he whispers, his voice softer now, luring you in with its gentleness. His thumb presses against your parted lips, brushing over your tongue. "You look so damn good like this." A pause. "But don’t think I’m going soft, you cheeky thing."

His hands roamed over your body, firm but with a surprising tenderness, like he’s trying to balance between the roughness he knows and the gentleness you seem to pull out of him without even trying.

"Y/N," he murmurs, his gruff voice sending shivers down your spine. "Bloody hell, you're gorgeous."

Ghost's fingers trace the swell of your breasts, pausing to circle your nipples through the thin fabric of your shirt. He can feel your nipples hardening under his touch, a surge of satisfaction coursing through him.

"I want to see you," he growls, tugging at the hem of your shirt. "Take it off."

You comply, lifting your arms and allowing Ghost to peel the garment away. Your breasts bounce free, and he can't help but admire their fullness, their softness. He cups them in his large hands, kneading the flesh, relishing the way you arch into his touch.

"Fuck, Y/N," he breathes, leaning down to capture one of your nipples between his lips. He swirls his tongue around the sensitive bud, reveling in your soft moans and the way your fingers tangle in his hair.

His hands continue to explore your body, sliding down to your thighs and back up again, mapping every curve and dip. He wants to commit you to memory, to burn you into his mind so he can remember you even when you're apart.

"Y/N," he whispers against your skin, his voice rough with desire. "I need you."

You respond by rolling your hips, grinding against the growing bulge in his jeans. The friction sends sparks of pleasure through him, and he groans, his grip on your thighs tightening.

"Yes, Ghost," you pant, your voice breathy and desperate. "Please, I need you too."

Ghost doesn't waste any time. He quickly strips you both of the remaining clothing, his eyes never leaving your body as he takes in every inch of your exposed skin. Then, he settles between your thighs, the head of his cock nudging against your slick entrance.

Ghost's cock nudges against you, and he can't help but groan at the feeling. He’s hard, achingly so, his length throbbing with the need to be inside you.

"Fuck, Y/N," he growled, his hips pressing forward, seeking the warmth of her body. "You're so wet for me, aren't you?"

You nod, cheeks flushed, eyes half-lidded with desire. Ghost can feel the heat radiating from you, the way your body welcomes him, only stoking his fire.

He pushes forward, sliding into you inch by inch, until he's fully buried inside. The sensation is overwhelming—your walls gripping him tightly, making him feel like he belongs there like he’s found his place.

"God, you feel perfect," he rasps, his hips beginning to move in a steady rhythm.

Ghost loses himself in the way you respond to his touch, in the sounds you make as he thrusts deeper into you. He wants to memorize everything—every gasp, every sensation—so he can replay it later when you're apart.

As he moves within you, the tension builds, the pressure in his gut tightening with every stroke. He shifts slightly, angling his hips, searching for that perfect spot that will make you cry out. When he finds it, the change in your breath and the way you cling to him tells him he’s got you.

"That's it, Y/N," he encourages, voices low and rough. "Come for me."

His movements grow erratic as his release approaches. His hips snap forward, driving into you with a force that has you gasping and arching beneath him. The sound of skin against skin fills the air, a raw, primal rhythm that matches the pounding of your heart.

"Fuck, Y/N," he grunts, fingers digging into your hips, holding you firmly in place. "You're so tight, so perfect."

He feels the way your walls flutter around him, a telltale sign that you're close. Determined to push you over the edge, Ghost thrusts harder, each movement rougher, more intense. He wants to watch you fall apart beneath him.

"Come for me, Y/N," he growls, voice commanding and low. "I want to feel you come undone."

His release is just around the corner, the heat coiling tight at the base of his spine, ready to snap. But he holds back, refusing to give in until you’ve reached your peak.

Adjusting his angle slightly, he grinds against your clit with each thrust, the friction sending you over the edge. You cry out, body arching off the bed as you cling to him desperately.

"Ghost!" you gasp, your fingers digging into his shoulders. "Oh god, don't stop!"

He doesn't. Ghost continues his relentless rhythm, his hips slamming into yours with a force that makes the bed shake. He feels you tightening around him, your body tensing as you teeter on the edge of orgasm.

"That's it, Y/N," he growls, his voice strained with the effort of holding back his release. "Come for me, let go."

With one final, powerful thrust, he drives into you, and you shatter. Your body convulses beneath him, your walls clenching around his cock like a vice. The sensation is overwhelming, and with a groan that sounds almost like a roar, Ghost follows you over the edge.

He collapses on top of you, his body trembling from the intensity of his release. Ghost can feel your breath, still coming in short, sharp gasps as you recover from your orgasm.

Ghost pulls out and rolls onto his side, drawing you close to his chest. His heart pounds, adrenaline still surging through his veins. You’re both spent, your breath hot against his skin.

"That was…fucking incredible," he murmurs, voice hoarse and low. "Y/N, you're amazing."

He presses a tender kiss to your temple, marveling at the softness of your skin, the warmth of your body nestled against his. Ghost had never been the type for cuddling, but with you, it feels right—like he could stay here forever, holding you close, shielding you from the world.

As you both lie there, basking in the afterglow, Ghost's mind drifts. He thinks about how things have changed between you—how what started as purely physical had grown into something more. Something deeper, more meaningful.

@liyanahelena @goldenmclaren @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @frizzseaberries @frazie99 @idklols @katybaby00 @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @alxexhearts @juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @jinxxangel13 @strangepuppynightmare @enarien @Simonssweetgirl @luvecarson @nellsbobells @ikohniik @nobodys-coffee @strawberrychita @sae1kie @queen-ilmaree @Llelannie @Macnches2 @avidreadee123 @talooolaaloolla @skelletonwitch @bittermajesties @1234beeandpuppycat @sparky--bunny @honestlyhiswife @who-can-appease-me @ghostwifeyy @konigssultwithghost @pinkblossomsworld @lovelyvqer @the_royal_bee @beansproutmafia @soapybutt17 @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @born4biriyani @mychemichalimalance @marshiely @iruzias @sleepyycatt @noodlezz-bedo @trinthealternate @azkza @VampyTheGoth

[itsthatmff]

helllooo, can you write boyfriends headcanons with other men like flashy flash and amai mask please? ~

IM FINALLY BACK WITH MORE HEADCANONS! writing for these was so hard- it was my first time doing amai mask too- I hope they turned out well 😩

Please keep the requests incoming I’ll try to work through them! I’m sorry for taking so long and Thank you so much for the patience.

Boyfriend Headcanons on OPM men Pt. 2

Fem!reader

Included: Flashy flash, Amai mask, Saitama, Zombie man

Flashy Flash

Having him as a boyfriend sure isn’t for the weak

He’s definetly the leader of the sassy man apocalypse

He takes his night routine SERIOUSLY like you will have a 20 step hair routine and a spa session

He gives great hair care tips though

Lets you braid his hair when you’re bored or does your hair when you’re tired

Gossiping with him is super fun

When he’s annoyed or jealous he scoffs a lot

Tiny bit reluctant over physical affection but his hugs and kisses feel so gentle, you could melt into them.

He goes all out when you’re on your period, like he knows exactly what you need and what to do.

Gifts you hairclips on random occasions !

Doesn’t like you touching his katana cuz he’s worried you’ll hurt yourself.

You get the best dates with him because he knows the best spots, prefers staying at home with you though in case one of his opps are after him.

He does bicker with you from time to time because he knows you too well and can’t be bothered to deal with your overdramatic ass

"Yeah fine we get it you’re just angry because you’re craving some desserts. Stop whining and lets go get it.“

Amai Mask

Might seem like a narcissistic and selfish bastard at first but he really just has issues

As a boyfriend he might not be able to spend much time with you since he is a hero AND a celebrity with a filled schedule

Makes sure to spoil you rotten tho

You get expensive gifts from him on a weekly basis and he takes you out to the best restaurants

He has to be very discreet with your relationship since it could cause him a bad reputation and backlash from the media

Whenever he’s overwhelmed or had a bad day he seeks comfort in your embraces

Feels like you’re the only one who understands him

Genuinely opens up to you and shows you his vulnerable side from time to time

He gets VERY jealous like he better not catch you admiring some other hero

At first he’d laugh it off not wanting to believe such a thing but slowly the jealousy would start creeping up

“You’re mine understood?”

Is just scared of u leaving him

He calls to tell you there’s a new magazine out that features him and wants you to buy it.

Thinks you’re his biggest supporter and likes to brag about you.

Saitama

Dates consist of gaming or getting deals at different supermarkets

I can totally imagine that he’s willing to try some new things at the convenience store with you and do taste tests.

Never rates the food a 10/10 cuz he thinks Genos could do it better.

YES sometimes Genos DOES make dinner dates for you two, he goes all out making a 5 star dinner for his sensei and his girlfriend.

Saitama secretly loves it when you come and sit on his lap as he watches tv.

He may not look like it but he really notices the small details, like he’ll ask if you put on different perfume or shampoo. Does it so sleek too.

He’d lean in to your neck and WHISPER INTO YOUR EAR

"Hm..you smell so good, got a new perfume?“

This guy just knows how to get you flustered

Is very nonchalant about most things, doesn’t really get jealous. (Unless you’re being overly nice to someone that has like really good hair)

“Yo genos. How much do you think a hair transplant costs?”

“Why are you asking sensei?”

“No reason really..” as he GLARES at the guy you’re talking to.

Doesn’t call you often, more like he randomly texts you what he’s doing and if your schedule matches his you both hangout.

Wants to climb up the ranks in order to impress you and loves to tell you about his day when he gets home.

Gets the most expressive around you.

He kicks out Genos when you two need your private time.

Gives the best piggy back rides.

Zombieman

Hands down the best boyfriend out there

He’s so chill about everything

Likes to take you everywhere with him, especially on shooting ranges, coffee shops or jazz bars

Respects your boundaries a lot, if you don’t like the smoke from his cigarettes he’ll try not to smoke around you, if you’re a smoker yourself he always looks forward to smoke some with you.

You both have a very casual relationship, there’s no awkwardness at all nor the cheesiness and pampering

That also includes physical affection. Cuddling on the couch or holding hands seems natural to you.

As nihilistic as he is, he can’t hide whenever he’s jealous.

“Was it fun chatting to that human?” He’d ask whilst pressing down the last remaining of his cigarette onto the whiskey glass. He wasn’t upset, more like curious of what you saw in another man.

Only calls you in the evenings after he walks you home. Likes to hear your voice before he goes to sleep.

He loves to get you roses

Asks childish emperor for advice on what to get you. Doesn’t even realise himself that he slips in your name in every conversation.

Is the kind of boyfriend that is happy enough to just watch you from afar.

Never ever gets aggressive with you. In fact you’ve never seen him angry.

Likes to polish his guns while you sit on his lap.

[musical-shit-show]

electric touch

Pairing: Adam (Hazbin Hotel) x Sinner!Reader

Inspiration: My own silly idea but also Prompts #70 (“are you actually trying to seduce me right now?”) and #86 (“they don’t need to know.”) from Prompt List 2

Warnings: Cursing, mutual pining, Adam is still kind of an asshole (duh), suggestive dialogue

Word Count: 1,363

Author’s Note: I just really wanted the mental picture of Adam in some rocker eyeliner, so I wrote it. That’s about it, just being very normal about this character :3 If anyone has seen any fanart of Adam with eyeliner, my DMs are always open. As always check out my Masterlist, About Me page, or Prompt Lists if you’d like to submit an ask! Happy reading! :)

“What’s that?”

You scoffed at the fallen angel lounging lazily on your bed, watching you intently as you went through your makeup routine.

You had just grabbed an eyeliner pencil, and were in the middle of smudging the smokey kohl onto your eyelids when Adam interrupted you.

“What, you didn’t have eyeliner in heaven?” you smirked, looking at him through the mirror on your vanity. Even in such a relaxed state, he still kept that stupid mask on.

He shook his head, “Why would we need makeup in a place where everyone’s fuckin’ perfect and poised 24/7?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you accepted the answer. Made sense, anyways. From what you heard from Charlie, Heaven probably looked like a dream come true. Why would anyone need to alter their appearance in a place like that?

Turning back to the task at hand, you jumped slightly when Adam appeared behind you, his face incredibly close to your own. He was studying you intently, his digital eyes flickering over your expression.

“Ugh, what is with you, dude?”

His eyes narrowed, lips forming into a tight line. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was…thinking. Which is not an activity Adam seemed to engage in, especially before speaking.

“It looks…good.” he muttered, feeling his face getting warm under his mask, “I guess I never really noticed it before.” You quirked an eyebrow, a small smile flashing across your face.

Ever since he turned up on the hotel’s doorstep practically begging for help from the Princess of Hell, Adam had decided to latch himself on to you. For what reason, you didn’t know; it didn’t particularly matter since any attempts to rid yourself of him were completely fruitless.

He was definitely an asshole, but he could be mildly amusing from time to time.

“Do you…do you want me to put some on you?”

He blinked stupidly. “I’m not gay, toots,” he deadpanned, “Despite what that little spider twink downstairs thinks—”

“No, no that’s not what I meant,” you cut in, trying to stifle your laughter at his remark, “But makeup transcends sexuality.” He scoffed, letting his insecurity wash over him.

Adam would never admit it you or Charlie or anyone else at the hotel, but being here made him feel less alone than he ever felt in Heaven.

Up there, he was practically ignored, even treated as a nuisance by the seraphim and other higher ups. Which he was, but that was beside the point.

He was already ashamed of himself for asking Lucifer’s brat of all people for help, but he had nowhere else to turn and felt completely alone. Except when he was with you.

Although you were a sinner too, you didn’t judge him as harshly as the others. Hell, you were able to stand up to him, even reason with him when he was particularly crabby.

It scared him, though he’d never let you know that. He’d rather get stabbed through the chest again than be vulnerable.

Standing up, you gestured to the edge of the bed, encouraging Adam to sit down again. He hesitated for a moment, not willing to trust you fully.

“You know,” you drawled, “some of the greatest rockers on Earth wear eyeliner. And looks sexy as fuck doing it.”

Adam’s eyebrows shot up in curiosity.

“And,” you added, “A lot of ladies are actually into it. I swear.” He blew a raspberry in dismissal, still not fully convinced. He decided to humor you anyway; he had nothing better to do.

“Ugh, fine,” he whined, “You’re lucky I’m bored, sugartits.” He plopped onto your bed, faltering slightly when removing his mask; you rarely saw him without it, and were struck by how, well, human he looked.

You couldn’t dwell on his appearance for long; you needed entertainment for the evening and didn’t want to wait for him to change his mind. With the pencil in hand, you swiftly went to work on his minor makeover.

You were close. Dangerously close, Adam thought to himself. So close that he was almost pissed that his eyes were closed so he couldn’t get a good look down your shirt.

He could feel your soft breath on his face, the almost imperceptible noises you were making while concentrating intently on shaping his new look. He almost flinched when your hand gripped the side of his face gently, tilting it up slightly to give you a better angle to complete your work.

Your fingers tingled on his skin, silence filling the space in a way that was new to Adam; he usually reveled in sucking the air out of any room he was in, but he was now focused so keenly on the steadiness of your breathing and the looming presence of your body so, so close to his.

Fuck.

He shifted uncomfortably on the bed, and for the first time in his very long existence, Adam actually tried to hide his arousal from you. “Almost done,” you muttered, examining the canvas of his eyelids closely.

You couldn’t help but notice that even though he was fallen, Adam still retained rather…angelic features. Perfect skin, tousled brown hair, annoyingly long eyelashes. You tried to not gaze at him for too long, but with his eyes currently closed, you couldn’t help but stare.

“Ah, okay, open up,” you said, feeling a quiver arise in your throat. He blinked, bright gold eyes accentuated perfectly by the dark liner.

Satan help you. He looked hot.

You realized you were still leaning incredibly close to his face, and before you could stumble backwards, Adam flashed a mischievous smile. “Damn babe, I must look pretty good if you’re giving me ‘fuck me’ eyes.”

“I wasn’t—”

“Shhhh,” he stood up, pressing his finger to your lips. Your attraction to him was quickly replaced with annoyance, even with him looking like a rockstar you might’ve had a crush on when you were still living.

You pushed his hand away, your stomach twisting. Leave it to Adam to ruin an actual good moment between the two of you.

“Are you actually trying to seduce me right now?”

“Maybe. Is it working?”

“Not in the slightest,” you lied. He brushed past you, considering his reflection in your vanity mirror.

“Fuck, I do look good,” he mused, getting an eyeful of himself. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. His gaze flitted to you, studying your form. You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. “Come on, aren’t you the least bit curious about how good this dick would look in that pretty little mouth of yours?

You crossed your arms over your chest, doing your best to act disgusted at that mental picture. “Only in your dreams,” you muttered, hoping the heat traveling up your neck wasn’t visible. Adam stood up to face you again, his mouth curving into a wicked smile. “They don’t need to know,” he purred, his eyes flicking towards the door, referencing the other residents of the hotel. “It can be our little secret.”

His fingers brushed your waist delicately, and you felt your heartbeat quicken as he squeezed the side of your body. He looked hungry, possessive, the dark pigment around his eyes only enhancing the intensity of his glare.

You gulped. You had to come up with an excuse, and quick.

“Charlie’s expecting me,” you croaked, pulling away from his grasp. You cursed yourself for the ache you felt between your legs, “Something about more trust exercises—” you headed toward the door, but Adam grabbed your arm.

He didn’t seem annoyed that you were brushing off his advances; he knew that it was now just a matter of time.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he teased, his grip red hot against your skin, “But teach me how to do this fun little makeup on myself sometime, hm? I like seeing you all hot and bothered.”

You swung open your door, flashing him the finger as you slammed it behind you. It didn’t matter that you were leaving him in your room unattended; you knew you’d be seeing him there later anyways.

Something told you he was going to keep the makeup on until you returned.

------

thanks for reading! as always, like/reblog/comment if you enjoyed :)

[gay-dorito-dust]

I came from your Saltburn post, I will do anything to read some Oliver quick fluff. Wether the reader is sick or how they’d get along at a party and be drunk together 🫶

Oliver, upon overhearing from your friends that you had come down with a common cold, immediately decides to take advantage of the situation in hopes of getting closer to you; by proving to you that he would be there for you in your time of need. Sick or otherwise.

Oliver would act overly sympathetic towards you during your recovery period, considering how vulnerable and susceptible you looked, especially as you took respite within the comfort of your bed; in hopes to evade going through yet another violent episode of cold shivers as you stared at him through bleary eyes.

‘Oliver.’ You asked, voice raspy from the continuous coughing you’ve been doing since this morning. ‘What’re you doing here, didn’t nobody tell you I was sick?’ You add, not wanting him nor your worst enemy to experience what you were currently going through. It was hell, pure, genuine hell. You couldn’t even stick one limb out of bed before immeditly retreating back under the covers.

It also didn’t help that your favourite pair of fluffy slippers were halfway across the room…

‘Oh, I overheard from a few of your friends that you weren’t well, and took it upon myself to bring a couple of things that I’d think would help.’ Oliver replied as he then awkwardly lifted the bag full of snacks, medication, amongst many other things with a sheepish shrug of the shoulder. You smiled softly. How sweet. You thought to yourself as you watched Oliver begin to unload the contents of the bag onto your bed. ‘You didn’t have to do this all for me Ollie, I don’t want you getting sick or anything because of me.’ You told him but Oliver only gave you a smile in response as his beautiful eyes stared at you intently with an expression you couldn’t quite place your finger on…

Oliver on the other hand was thriving, sure he wanted you to get better in due time, but until then he’ll engrave your dependency on him so deeply and so intricately into the depths of his mind forevermore; acting more or less as a delusional self serving reminder to himself that you needed him to function in this life filled with vapid cunts and losers.

He was all you needed in life and he was more than willing to risk catching your sickness if it meant furthering his ambitions of further integrating himself into your life fully. If anything Oliver hopes he catches your sickness so that you would feel the need to pay the kindness he had displayed towards you forward.

‘It’s alright y/n, honestly.’ Oliver said with a chuckle as he made sure you were tightly tucked in and your pillows were fluffed for extra comfort, making sure that you see the effort he puts in just for you and only you, just like he always has done before seating himself comfortably on the edge of your bed, always conscious of being fully within your line of sight as his body acted as a blockade for your sight of the doorway; forcing you to look at solely him.

‘I’m not scared of getting a little sick if it meant helping you back to full health, isn’t that what friends are for? Helping each other?’ Oliver adds in an odd tone, but you were adamant it was the cold talking, and only continue to smile at his seemingly sweet and caring actions. ‘You’re the best Ollie, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.’ You uttered whilst biting back a yawn, the need for sleep having begun to take over once more as your eyelids began to grow heavy and harder to keep open with each blink. ‘You’re truly a lifesaver Oliver Quick and I love you for that.’ You added on in a sleepy daze.

To Oliver on the other hand, you might as well have been cohesive and clear as day, with how intently he hung onto those words, feeling a strong fluttering sensation within his chest; something he always got whenever you said anything that remotely encouraged his obsessive and suffocating behaviour. Slowly but surely he was getting what he wanted and he wasn’t about to rush the process now, not with how much meticulous planning he had put into every chance encounter he got with you.

Oliver had to practice his patience more but you were too tempting of a person for him not to lunge towards. A forbidden fruit laid within the garden of Eden in every sense of the word.

‘I love you too.’ He said in a low murmur before running his hand across your forehead, collecting the accumulated sweat there. ‘Get some rest, it’s fine,’ Oliver utters as he watched your eyes close and your body settles in for sleep, ‘ for I’ll be here when you wake up.’ He finishes, eyes never once leaving you for a single second.

[fineghkst]

How Azriel acts around his mate

i’m thinking of turning this into a series so let me know if you guys would be interested (you can also choose which character i should do next)

warnings: suggestive

At the moment he finds out

Azriel couldn’t hide the surprised look on his face. It was the first time in a while the spymaster got speechless. Az is most likely to create a ragged excuse and leave as soon as possible (yes, he’s definitely panicking), going to some isolated place to understand that he finally found his mate.

How he acts?

Azriel definitely doesn’t know how to act around his mate once the bond snaps. He probably will act very awkward at the beginning, not knowing if he should tell his mate about it (considering they didn’t felt the bond yet) or wait until they realize.

Therefore, Azriel will need some time to digest that he finally has a mate. Az feels really insecure, thinking he’s not good enough for them and believing they won’t accept the bond. Even so, Azriel really tries to be the best he can to his mate, he’s always there, showing support at every situation. He’s also very kind and just wants to see his mate happy.

Will he tell anyone?

No. Az will hide it as much as he can. Azriel is a very private person and probably wants to figure out this new situation by himself. On the other hand, he knows how his brothers are a pain in the ass, so Az rather avoid to listen to the stuff they’re going to say. At least until his mate discover the bond by themself, he won’t talk about it, preventing them from ending up knowing from someone else

But once his mate accepts the bond Azriel’s behavior changes completely, he’s almost announcing to the world, constantly touching his mate in public.

When his mate feels the bond

He’s scared. Really, Azriel never felt this type of fear his whole life, to be rejected by the person who was supposed to be with him for the rest of his life. However, even if he’s terrified, Az forces himself to be honest about his feelings towards his mate.

He has never opened up that much to someone before, exposing an extremely vulnerable side.

If his mate needs some time, he will be very understandable and wait as long as necessary. Az will never pressure his mate to accept the bond or even give him an answer (please he’s the biggest gentleman out there).

When his mate accepts the bond

Az finally feels complete. His mate is his family, the person he trusts the most and is willing to do anything only to make them smile.

As i said before, Az didn’t feel enough for his mate, so he always thought they wouldn’t accept to be bonded to him forever. Honestly, he’s in a deep state of happiness, it’s like he’s finally found his home, his place in the world.

And as SJM said before, Az is a freak, so yeah, not leaving the room any time soon after that.

Things he loves to do with his mate

Pretty much everything. Azriel his happy to go anywhere or do anything if he has his mate to accompany.

It can be to comb their hair to having deep conversations at midnight. Az just loves to be with them.

Does he often feels jealous?

It depends on the situation. Azriel really trusts his mate, but if someone gets too flirty around them, he will definitely be jealous (and kinda insecure). He’s not likely to make a scene but will have a frown on his face for the rest of the night.

Favorite body part

He’s addicted to every single part of his mate, showing true devotion to their body everyday. He loves to kiss their soft lips, neck and inner thighs (he just can’t keep his hands away).

PDA

Even though Azriel is a very reserved person, he’s constantly touching his mate in public, always having a hand on their waist, holding their hand or kissing them. He usually doesn’t go too foward, but it depends on the situation, if he spends a lot of time away on a mission, will definitely be more clingy.

In short, I don’t see him caring much if someone his looking, but he prefers when they have more privacy.

How often he says “I love you?”

Everyday. He just wants his mate to be sure of his feelings. Az not only say it with words, but always demonstrate with his actions.

Protectiveness

Azriel is really overprotective. He’s terrified on losing his mate so they will always have his shadows with them, almost turning into a part of them.

Random bonus

Before every snowball fight Azriel always spends the whole year planning a new strategy to beat his brothers asses. He will share EVERY SINGLE DETAIL to his mate and even accept suggestions to improve it.

Once he wins, Az will celebrate a lot with his mate (if you get what I mean…)

[tinyundercover]

pepper & felix

part twenty

the final chapter <3 word count: 4.3k

Three months ago, if Pepper had been sitting in a human’s hands, in the human’s bed, completely vulnerable and out in the open— he would have panicked. The very thought of being touched by a human would have been enough to send him into a nervous spiral.

Yet here Pepper was, talking comfortably with Felix, reclining back against fingers as tall as he was. Felix was seated against the wall, the backs of his hands resting on his bent knees, and although he completely held Pepper’s life in his hands— Pepper felt unbelievably safe.

After Alice and Basil had left their apartment to go their separate ways, it had been late enough for Felix and Pepper to go to bed. Of course, they didn’t sleep immediately, and had spent the last two hours chatting away.

When the evening tapered into something more emotional, Pepper felt emboldened enough to propose the question that had been on his mind for weeks.

“Felix,” Pepper began plainly, “why don’t you ever kiss me?”

An unrecognizable emotion flickered in Felix’s eyes, just briefly, and the human hesitated. His shoulders jerked microscopically— although the movement was quite noticeable to someone as small as Pepper.

“I…” Felix chewed his lip, blue gaze searching. “What do you mean?”

It wasn’t unusual for Felix to avoid difficult subjects like this, but Pepper was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Their relationship was already confusing and terrifying and exhilarating all at once, so Pepper couldn’t blame Felix for being hesitant.

“Well, you’ve only kissed me once,” Pepper pointed out, cocking his head. He momentarily lifted a hand to brush his dark hair out of his eyes— he needed a haircut. “And— I don’t know, I feel like I’ve made it clear that kissing is okay to me.”

Was this a normal thing to discuss with a boyfriend? Did he consider Felix his boyfriend? Pepper had never dated anyone before, let alone kiss someone large enough to hold him in a hand. 

He felt the hand below him twitch as Felix shifted back, leaning further against the wall. Pepper took a moment to admire the way Felix’s blonde hair had fallen into messier strands, framing the ocean-blue pools of his eyes. 

“Oh,” Felix said heavily. “So I did kiss you.”

“Well,” Pepper responded, hesitant. “Yeah?”

A flush crossed Felix’s face, barely perceptible. He glanced away. “I was kind of hoping that I imagined that.”

A laugh escaped Pepper, surprising both of them. “Well, it’s fine, man. Obviously. I want you to kiss me.”

“But it wasn’t—”

“Felix,” Pepper interjected, drawing the human’s attention back towards him. “I want you to kiss me.”

A beat of silence passed, in which Felix let out a nervous breath, blue eyes flickering. The hands below him shifted, uncertain. Pepper held his gaze, posture open and inviting, and for a thrilling moment the borrower thought that Felix would actually lean forward and kiss him.

“I’m scared,” Felix finally whispered, face flushed. Pepper lifted an eyebrow, amused, and the human offered the weakest smile in return before falling into a hushed ramble. “I— it’s not that I don’t— I want to, I—”

“Felix,” Pepper interrupted, again, eyebrows high. His voice remained playful and teasing as he continued, “Just come here.”

Pepper waved vaguely towards himself, earning a shaky breath in response. Felix seemed to have given up on explaining himself— and while Pepper usually enjoyed hearing Felix ramble, this was not the time and place for it. Honestly, he had never wanted Felix to shut up more in his life… in the most loving way, of course.

Slowly, shakily, Felix drew his hands closer to his face— initially not nearly close enough for Pepper to reach his lips, so the borrower continued to gesture insistently— until the bases of Felix’s palms were resting against his chin, his fingers cupped protectively behind Pepper.

Pepper blinked up at him, unafraid to lay his small hands against the softness of Felix’s bottom lip— and with a glimmering feeling in his chest he leaned forward and kissed his soulmate.

Felix’s quick exhale sent a flutter through Pepper’s clothes, warm and nervous. Pepper smiled into the kiss, amused, and as the human beneath his hands finally began to relax the borrower pulled back, gray eyes blinking open.

“That wasn’t too bad,” Pepper murmured, a smile playing on his lips. 

As Felix carefully drew his palms away from his face, Pepper couldn’t hide his disappointment. He already missed the feeling of being completely surrounded by his soulmate— cupped in hands larger than he was, held so incredibly gently, feeling the exhales around him and the heat underneath his small palms.

However, seeing the flush on Felix’s face brought a different kind of satisfaction to Pepper— pride and love and amusement— and he beamed up at his soulmate. Felix’s eyes were wide.

“Oh,” Felix said breathlessly. 

It was surprisingly easy to drop back into a normal conversation, brushing off the kiss as if it were normal for them— something Pepper wanted desperately. The blush on Felix’s face remained for a while, and Pepper elected not to comment on it— although his gaze lingered on Felix’s lips more times than he cared to admit.

“It’s getting late,” Felix finally murmured after another hour, and Pepper glanced towards the alarm clock for confirmation. He had barely noticed that the sun had finally fallen away from the window, leaving only the soft glow of the lamp to light the room. “Maybe we should get some sleep.”

Pepper was certain that Felix would be much too terrified to offer it himself, so with a soft smile on his face he asked, “Can I sleep on your chest?”

Right on cue, Felix’s blush returned, and he glanced away. “Uh— yeah, yeah. Of course, Pepper.”

In the months that Pepper had known Felix, he had only slept on his chest once before— an awkward situation in which Felix was drunk and unaware of his own actions. It hadn’t been uncomfortable to sleep with him, even if Pepper hadn’t been expecting it… and he couldn’t deny that he thought back to the memory of Felix’s warmth every time he fell asleep in his own hammock.

Felix’s shirt was soft. Within minutes, Pepper had settled comfortably into Felix’s chest, basking in the warmth radiating up from below him. Felix’s hand rested above him, cupped cautiously so as to not pin the borrower down completely— although, admittedly, Pepper wouldn’t care if it did. The hand above him wasn’t dangerous. It was nothing more than a weighted blanket to him, truthfully.

“You okay?” Felix asked softly, and when Pepper glanced up, blue eyes watched him with a gentleness that he couldn’t describe.

Pepper searched his face for a moment, gray gaze warm, before resting his head against the chest below him. Underneath, a heartbeat thrummed.

“Yeah,” Pepper said. “I am.”

———

The following week was the happiest Pepper had been in his entire life.

The tension that had plagued Felix for weeks fell away, and he finally felt comfortable holding Pepper, falling asleep with him, kissing him. Pepper wasn’t afraid of being handled by him— and amazingly enough, he encouraged it, leaning into Felix’s enormous touch at every opportunity.

Basil returned to her home in the lounge— although she did make a reappearance in the middle of the week, conveniently on the same day that Alice stopped by to run lines with Felix. The borrowers spent the evening sitting on Felix’s couch, watching in amusement as Felix and Alice acted through a few scenes. When Alice actually took the advice that Basil offered, Pepper and Felix shared a single bewildered glance.

“I will never understand theater,” Basil murmured to Pepper, earning a laugh.

“Me neither,” Pepper agreed, gaze lingering on Felix’s straightened shoulders. “But I think they’re pretty good at it.”

Pepper continued to sleep in Felix’s bed almost every night, and neither of them complained. Pepper couldn’t tell if the warm feeling of protection around him was a subsection of their soulmate connection, or if he truly just felt completely safe in Felix’s hands. He didn’t mind regardless.

Wednesday caught up to them sooner than expected, and as Felix approached Breanna’s apartment with two borrowers perched on his shoulder, Pepper couldn’t push away the anxiety prickling at his chest.

“She definitely invited us, right?” Pepper asked for what felt like the hundredth time. He subconsciously gripped Felix’s shirt as the human opened a door, shoulders shifting.

“Yes,” Felix assured, earning a nervous nod from both of the borrowers. “I promise, everyone wants you here. It’s just gonna be the six of us.”

“This is exciting,” Basil commented, elbowing Pepper. “We’ve never really been to a party before.”

“Especially not a soulmate party,” Pepper added, smiling in an attempt to smother his anxiety. 

Felix had explained to the borrowers that Breanna was turning twenty-one tonight, meaning she would finally be able to contact her soulmate. Apparently, this was a very big deal among humans.

“It’ll be fun,” Felix promised as he knocked on Breanna’s door. “But if you do want to leave early, just let me know.”

Anxiety and excitement surged through Pepper’s veins as the door opened moments later, revealing Breanna in a simple white dress and a matching white headband, a beautiful contrast against her dark skin. She lit up immediately, her brown gaze dancing from Felix’s face to his shoulder. “Oh, you all made it!”

“Happy birthday,” Basil chirped, and Breanna’s gaze twinkled. She thanked her, then ushered Felix inside, shutting the door behind him.

Pepper’s first thought upon seeing Breanna’s apartment was that he needed to encourage Felix to decorate more.

Breanna’s space was small, but unbelievably cozy. Fake vines and leaves coated the walls and ceiling, not unlike the bakery that the borrowers grew up in. Unlike Felix and Alice’s apartments, which seemed to be of the same design, Breanna’s apartment consisted of one large room— a kitchen counter lined one wall, while a couch and a few armchairs rested on a brown rug across the room. A few doors surrounded them, one of which was glass, leading outside.

Alice and Owen were standing in the kitchen, handling a variety of bottles on the counter, but the newest guests quickly drew their attention. Pepper’s stomach flipped when Owen’s curious gaze lingered on him, followed by Alice’s surprisingly warm smile, and the borrower slowly relaxed.

“Hey,” Alice chirped, lifting a glass bottle. “We’re making drinks. C’mere.”

Both of them had acknowledged the borrowers, but their gazes held no traces of confusion or disgust or annoyance. In fact, Alice and Owen had regarded the borrowers with the same smiles that they had offered Felix.

Pepper felt included. And… accepted. 

It made his head hurt.

Once the four humans met in the kitchen, gathered by the counter, Pepper could actually see what was going on. A few fancy glasses were scattered around the counter, surrounded by bottles and containers of various sizes, none of which Pepper recognized well. The borrower leaned forward curiously, and Basil did the same.

“Here,” Felix murmured, lifting a hand to his shoulder. “Is the counter okay?”

Both borrowers offered their approval, and within seconds they were stepping off onto the counter. Although the glasses surpassed both of them in height, Pepper felt strangely comfortable. It was a little difficult to face the four humans behind him, however, so he surveyed a towering plastic bottle of a bubbling clear liquid instead.

“What is this?” Basil asked for him, standing close to her brother. Although both of them had enthusiastically agreed to attend the party, their natural instincts kept their stomachs fluttering with anxiety. Pepper shared a glance with Felix and allowed himself to relax slightly.

“Soda,” Alice explained. “We’re making cocktails. You know what those are, right?”

Pepper squinted up at her. “It’s alcohol, right?”

“Well— yes,” Alice explained. She stepped to the left, furthest from the other humans, and the borrowers followed slowly. Pepper was already eyeing the containers and appliances against the wall, trying to find a good vantage point for him and his sister. “They’re a mixture of a lot of things, and you can make them without alcohol, which is called a mocktail. We kind of assumed you guys don’t drink alcohol, right?”

“No,” Pepper mused. To his surprise, Basil seemed eager.

“I’ve never had alcohol before. Can I try some?”

Pepper and Alice both sent her a bewildered glance, as well as Felix, who had overheard. 

“I’m not sure you’d like it,” Felix offered. Basil grinned.

“I won’t know unless I try it, right?”

Within minutes, Pepper and Basil had scrambled up onto a plastic container near the wall, allowing them to meet the humans’ gazes without having to crane their necks. It also brought a bit of relief that they didn’t have to stand so close to so many enormous hands.

Pepper occasionally asked a few questions, but overall he was content to observe the humans mixing drinks and chatting. Basil surprised him by engaging in the humans’ conversation, adding quips and remarks without missing a beat. Her extroversion was always something that Pepper would be jealous of.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Breanna said suddenly, turning away to dig through a drawer. After a moment, she presented her hand out to the borrowers. Pepper blinked in surprise.

Two tiny drinking glasses rested on her fingers, presumably plastic. Pepper’s heart jumped, then proceeded to melt. 

“I found them at a craft store,” Breanna explained brightly as the borrowers each gingerly took a glass, marveling. “I hope they’re the right size?”

They weren’t— Pepper’s plastic glass was about the length of his forearm, and he needed both hands to hold it— but his chest was swelling with appreciation all the same. “Oh,” he said breathlessly. “Thank you.”

“Hell yeah!” Basil chirped, eyes glimmering with adoration. “I’m gonna get drunk!”

Breanna laughed, withdrawing her hand. “Sure, girl. Just be careful.”

The next ten minutes were pleasant. While Basil insisted on using Breanna’s array of teaspoons to mix her own drink (proceeding to spill an alarming amount of liquids all over the counter), Pepper was content to watch Felix mix his own mocktail, then scoop his own tiny glass through it.

“You’re not drinking?” Pepper teased, earning a deadpan expression from Felix. “Why not?”

Felix only nudged him teasingly in return, and Pepper lightly punched the approaching fingertip. 

“Breanna,” Alice asked once the six of them finally had their finished drinks in hand. “Are you excited to meet your soulmate?”

Pepper sipped his fruity drink and marveled at the pleasant taste as Breanna responded. “I’m nervous,” she admitted, stepping away from the counter. “But I might not even be able to meet them yet, if they’re younger than me.”

It took a moment for Pepper to register that Felix’s hand was being offered to him, and he relaxed before stepping on. Amazingly, to his left, Basil had hopped up onto Alice’s palm. 

“Don’t be nervous,” Felix assured Breanna. Within a few seconds the four humans had moved to the living room, and Pepper had settled onto Felix’s shoulder. Their speed never failed to astound Pepper. “Your soulmate will love you.”

Alice and Owen agreed enthusiastically. The two of them were seated on the couch, while Basil balanced precariously on Alice’s shoulder, seeming a little unsure of herself. She met Pepper’s gaze and grinned, however, dramatically brandishing her tiny drink.

Felix and Breanna had settled into the two armchairs, angled towards the couch to create a loose circle. 

“I hope so,” Breanna murmured before taking a long, nervous sip of her drink. “I guess I just want to make a good first impression when I meet them.”

“It’s easy to talk to your soulmate,” Alice explained, leaning back against the couch. Basil wobbled dramatically. “My soulmate and I clicked right away.”

“That just makes me more nervous,” Bree mumbled.

“My soulmate lives in the middle of the woods and fights rats,” Basil offered, “so it could be worse.”

Her comment earned an array of blank stares, and Pepper suppressed a laugh. 

“Borrowers have soulmates?” Owen finally asked, bewildered. Pepper vaguely noticed that Owen was leaning away from Alice, regarding Basil with a respectful distance.

“Well, yeah,” Basil said, gaze briefly flashing towards Felix. “We do.”

Pepper’s heart fluttered in his chest, and he glanced towards Felix. The human was chewing his lip, contemplative.

“Huh.” Owen lifted his eyebrows, glancing between Basil and Pepper. “Wow. Both of you talk to your soulmates? How are you supposed to find them?”

Basil jumped in before Pepper could. “Well, we don’t, really. Soulmates aren’t really a big thing to borrowers.”

After a beat of silence, Pepper piped up. “Well— my soulmate’s a human, so it was easier for me to find him.”

Felix’s shoulder tensed underneath him. Pepper held Owen’s gaze.

“Your soulmate’s a human?” Owen echoed, floored. 

“Wait,” Breanna said slowly.

“Is that even possible?” Owen continued. Alice and Basil were suspiciously silent.

“Wait,” Breanna repeated, wide, dark eyes glancing from Pepper to Felix. “No fucking way.”

“You—!” Owen’s shoulders jerked, catching on to Breanna’s words. “Holy shit, you two—?”

Within seconds, Felix and Pepper were attacked with an onslaught of words, most of which were unintelligible. The shoulder jerked underneath Pepper as Felix quickly attempted to respond, voice high and amused, and Pepper rested a hand against his neck. Felix’s pulse raced underneath. Pepper’s heart fluttered.

“It’s a lot to explain,” Felix began, and the room quieted briefly. A flush crept across Felix’s face, but he didn’t appear to be ashamed of Pepper, not in the slightest. His voice was firm when he responded, pride lacing his words. “But— yes. Pepper and I are soulmates.”

The energy in the room doubled as the other humans immediately jumped into excited remarks and shocked questions, and Pepper couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly, meeting Basil’s warm gaze. 

He felt comfortable. 

Pepper listened patiently as Felix explained everything to their friends— how he had caught Pepper and befriended him before realizing that they were soulmates. Pepper contributed a few bashful remarks of his own, explaining his side of the story, earning wide-eyed stares and startled laughs.

“I’ve lived in Felix’s apartment for a year,” Pepper said, glancing briefly at his soulmate. His heart fluttered. “I just… I can’t believe I had been living with my soulmate, and I didn’t realize it.”

“That’s beautiful,” Bree whispered, taken aback.

“I always wondered how Felix became friends with you two,” Owen said thoughtfully. “Hm. Good for you guys.”

The group fell into an ecstatic, comfortable energy. They spent the next hour talking, and Pepper was happy to observe Breanna shyly open gifts, blushing and thanking her friends religiously with each one. When she opened the bracelet that Pepper and Basil had made for her, a twist of colorful threads that was ironically a little too large for her, her gaze glimmered with adoration.

“This is— you— oh my god,” Bree beamed, looking as if she wanted to pull both borrowers into the tightest hug. Pepper grinned, heart soaring, sharing a glimmering look with Basil.

Just after Breanna released Owen from a hug, having just opened an eyeshadow palette and a movie poster that Pepper didn’t recognize, Alice spoke up. “Oh—! Bree, it’s midnight!”

Alice lifted her phone, displaying the glowing screen to Breanna. Breanna immediately straightened up, and her five friends burst into cheers and “happy birthdays!”

“Your soulmate,” Basil pressed, eyes wide and curious as Breanna returned to her seat. The human shifted, breath hitching.

Breanna quietly lifted her hands, clasped her fingers together, then hesitated. Her gaze was wide, dancing between her guests. “I— I’m nervous.”

“It’s okay,” Felix assured, followed by rapid nodding from Owen and Alice. “You’ve got this.”

After a moment of contemplation, Breanna pressed her palms into her chest and shut her eyes, focusing. Pepper watched with intrigue, his small hand still lingering on Felix’s neck. Although he didn’t know Breanna as well as some of the other people in the room, he still considered her a friend, and he hoped her first soulmate message would go well for her.

After a few seconds, Breanna dropped her hands, expression bright with nervous energy. “Okay, I—“

“Wait,” Owen said, suddenly, drawing Pepper’s attention. “Bree.”

Breanna blinked, shoulders jerking, and met Owen’s gaze.

—————————————

“I can’t believe it,” Alice murmured for the hundredth time, aghast. “I can’t believe it. Good for them.”

Pepper’s mind was swimming, amused, fascinated. Felix had moved to the couch besides Alice, so that Pepper and Basil could sit side by side on their shoulders— although Pepper still hovered a bit higher than his sister.

After experiencing the most earth-shattering news of their lives, Breanna and Owen had vanished into another room. Even through the walls, Pepper could hear their high-pitched ramblings, brimming with both excitement and tears. His own heart warmed.

“I kind of already thought they were dating,” Basil admitted sheepishly, and Pepper laughed. “I mean, come on. They’re like the parents I never had.”

“I guess Breanna is kind of like a mom,” Alice mused. An astonished laugh escaped her, and she turned towards Felix, accidentally knocking Basil off balance. “Shit. Sorry.” The female borrower seemed content to just punch Alice in response, barely leaving a mark, and Alice rolled her eyes.

“What are the chances?” Felix asked wonderingly, gaze hovering over the door through which Owen and Breanna had vanished. His voice was startled, layered in affection for his friends. “Like, seriously, how is this possible?”

“Soulmate intuition,” Alice offered, meeting Pepper’s gaze briefly. Pepper smiled at her.

“I feel left out,” Basil sighed, dramatically. “I’m already sick of third-wheeling, and now I have to fifth-wheel too?”

“I’m here, too,” Alice said indignantly.

“Yeah, but I hate you.”

Alice snorted, lifting a hand to her shoulder. With a startling gentleness, she gathered Basil into her palm, then cupped the small girl in front of her. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

Basil laughed, and Pepper smiled, meeting his sister’s gaze momentarily. He glanced at Alice again, and as she peered down at the female borrower in her hands, her expression held nothing but affection. 

“Hey,” Pepper murmured to Felix, heart warm. “Let’s go outside.”

It should’ve been worrying to leave Basil alone with Alice, but Pepper understood that his sister would be safe. Alice’s blue gaze lingered on him as the boys approached the back door, and when Pepper met her eyes, she smiled.

The air outside teetered on the edge of spring and summer, a warm, pleasant feeling that enveloped Pepper as soon as they stepped outside. The borrower drew in a long breath, closing his eyes. The shoulder below him shifted and dipped as Felix sat down on a bench, just outside Breanna’s apartment.

“I’m happy for Owen and Breanna,” Pepper commented, willingly stepping onto Felix’s awaiting palm as it presented itself to him. The human cupped his hands in front of him, and Pepper met his gaze, offering a smile. “I… I don’t know them that well, but they seem good for each other.”

“They are,” Felix agreed, blue gaze warm. “I just… I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. They’ve always been so close.”

“I guess soulmates are just naturally drawn to each other.” Pepper idly traced the lines of Felix’s palm. “Over a year ago, when I was looking for a new home, I found your apartment building. I could have stayed with anyone, but… I just wanted to be in your apartment. You know?”

Felix features softened. “You did?”

“Soulmate intuition.” Pepper’s lips twitched into a smile, and he brushed a strand of dark hair out of his face. “You know, I…”

He trailed off, brow pinching, suddenly unsure of what he intended to say. A fluttery feeling had wrapped around his ribs, soft and warm. Felix’s finger brushed Pepper’s shoulder, and the borrower leaned into it, gray gaze flickering up. 

A nearby lamp cast a soft glow over Felix’s face and hair, illuminating him in gold— and for a moment, Pepper thought that he looked quite angelic.

“I love you,” Pepper said, voice unwavering.

Felix responded with a quiet intake of breath. His features softened into something emotional, a warm expression that Pepper had been seeing a lot from him recently— appearing every time they touched hands, every time they laid awake and talked into the late hours of the night. Felix didn’t need to say anything for Pepper to understand, yet Felix still spoke, breathless.

“I love you, Pepper.”

Pepper found himself enveloped by warmth, allowing his gray eyes to flutter closed as Felix pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his dark hair. The emotions within him rose up into his face and threatened to spill over, and Pepper let out a surprised, breathy laugh, nearing on the edge of a sob. The borrower blinked up at the human as Felix drew back, only briefly— and Pepper threw his arms around Felix’s cheek, as much as he could, in the best hug he could manage.

When the voices inside the apartment grew louder, Felix gently withdrew his hand from his face, blinking down at his soulmate through brimming, blue eyes. Pepper offered a smile, weakly dragging an arm over his face. His heart fluttered around his chest like a bird.

“We should go back inside,” Pepper said thickly, a laugh escaping the both of them when they overheard Basil’s sharp, ecstatic voice, comically louder than any of the three humans. Felix’s hand twitched as he laughed.

“Come on,” Felix said gently, pushing himself into a stand. The two of them shared one last glimmering look before Felix cupped his hand against his chest, stepping towards the glass door.

The voices of their friends chattered away inside. Pepper was safe.

-------

Thank you to everyone who has read Pepper & Felix, and for supporting me every step of the way. When I posted the first chapter, I wasn't expecting to receive this much love from the g/t community, and I don't think I would have finished the story without such a wonderful audience. Your kindness means the world to me. Thank you! The epilogue will be posted tomorrow <3

TAGLIST: @smallsday @compact-katrina @satethesatelite @taters169 @entomolog-t @gtzel @gt-newbie @da3dm @clumsiergiantess @vee-normous @fee-hunter @torakan @mabelisthebatman @andithewhumper @mothsintherain @violetlight @heroofthe13thday @phoenix-on-the-run @houseboatmac @dav8530 @ididit-allofit-foryou @soakedmilkgt

[unclewaynemunson]

Eddie knows he shouldn't be doing this. He knows the risk, he knows the danger, he knows how stupid it is. But the thing is, he's never been good at avoiding risks or not being stupid. So here he is, pressing Ray against the wall of the Hideout, because he's five beers and three tequila shots in, and he wants it, no, he needs it, he needs to feel something to make that gnawing feeling in his chest go away, and Ray is available and willing and honestly not too bad considering the size of the queer dating pool around a town like Hawkins.

'Eddie.' Ray pulls back in a somewhat half-hearted attempt to slow him down. 'We're not at some gay club in Indy, man, you shouldn't –'

'Shouldn't I?' Eddie interrupts him. 'What if I don't care that we're not in Indy?' His lips find Ray's again, and Ray doesn't make any other attempts to cease what they're doing, so he supposes it's all good and presses his whole body as close to Ray's as he possibly can. He's swaying on his feet a little bit and his head is spinning, but Ray's arms around his back are keeping him steady enough – until a sudden blow lands against his shoulder and he finds himself stumbling backwards.

Fuck. He should've known, of course. Something about not taking risks, right?

‘The hell are you doing, freak?’

He blinks rapidly to get the blurry blonde-haired face opposite him into his focus.

‘What does it look like we’re doing?’ he scoffs.

It’s Jason Carver, he now realizes, because of-fucking-course it is. The guy brusquely shoves him against the wall; beside him, he hears Ray utter a scared gasp. He blindly grabs Ray’s wrist, because no matter the haze in his brain, he still thinks he should probably do something to comfort the guy - and he watches Jason’s eyes flick down at the movement before they settle back onto Eddie’s face.

‘Looks like you’re practicing sodomy out in the open,’ Jason breathes out.

Eddie can’t help it - he laughs. ‘You’re about ten years behind, Carver. Nothing illegal ‘bout that anymore.’

‘Tell that to Leviticus 18:22. “Do not have sexual rela-”‘

‘What part of me makes you think I give a single shit about goddamn Leviticus?’

‘Eddie,’ Ray chimes in, with a slightly begging edge to his voice that Eddie has only heard in very different circumstances before. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

Jason settles his gaze onto Ray now, loosening his grip on Eddie’s upper arms a little bit. His blue eyes look innocent as ever, but that’s exactly the thing that makes Jason Carver so dangerous - Eddie knows that all too well.

‘No, you’re not going anywhere yet.’ A slight smile is playing around his lips, as if he’s actually enjoying this - which he is, of course, the fucking psycho. ‘I think I’m gonna need to put the fear of God back into you two first.’

His strike is sudden and unexpected despite the build-up; Eddie didn’t actually think he’d have it in him. An involuntary gasp escapes his lips when he witnesses how Ray’s head gets knocked against the wall of the building with a thump that blends right in with the loud bass emerging from the bar.

The alcohol has made Eddie slow - too slow - and Jason catches his wrist before he can punch back properly.

‘Ray -’ Eddie pants.

But Ray is already getting away, running as fast as he can across the parking lot without even once looking back. Jason’s eyes flash quickly back and forth between the two boys, but he seems to decide that going after Ray isn’t quite worth it if he has the superior target - the drunk freak - right in front of him. He twists Eddie’s wrist into a painful angle with his left arm, using his right for a well-aimed blow against Eddie’s jaw.

Eddie tries to aim his knee at Jason’s most vulnerable parts, but he’s too sluggish and Jason too quick on his feet, and before he can really shake off the stars that are dancing around in his vision, he feels another two hits against his face and then one in his stomach, making him gasp for air as he tries to find some support from the building behind him. Before he knows it he’s knocked down to the ground - but then, another pair of legs appears in his vision and when he lifts his head, he sees Jason being knocked back a few steps by someone - no, not just someone - by Steve.

Before Jason can even raise his hand to hit back, Steve grabs his wrist and twists his arm while landing a punch in his face with his free hand. Eddie scrambles to his feet, getting himself out of the way of Steve throwing his whole body into the fight, shoving Jason against the wall; a choked groan escapes from Jason’s mouth when Steve hits him right in his stomach.

Steve catches hold of the other guy’s collar as he presses him against the wall. Jason’s usually meticulously styled hair is hanging over his eyes and his lip is bleeding.

‘You stay the hell away from my friends or the next time we run into each other will do some irreparable damage to that pretty face of yours, Carver. Now get the hell outta here.’ There’s more of the old King Steve in there than Eddie has seen in years, and it’s twisting his stomach in a way that has nothing to do with the punch he received there half a minute ago.

‘Fuck off, Harrington,’ Jason spews out when Steve releases his grip. ‘You’re pathetic. Have fun hanging out with the freaks.’

But words can’t hurt - not when they’re coming out of Jason Carver’s mouth anyway - so Steve gives him a final shove into his back as the guy stumbles away with a limp in his step.

Steve turns around to face Eddie, his chest still heaving.

‘You won a fight!’ Eddie exclaims triumphantly, while making the mental note not to forget any details so he can tell Dustin all about it tomorrow. He strongly doubts how much he’ll remember by the next day, however, and he kinda wishes he hadn’t been drinking this much.

But Steve doesn’t look nearly as victorious as he should; there’s a frown on his face and his lips are pressed tightly together.

‘Jesus, Eddie, what happened?’ His eyes are wide as they wander over Eddie’s face, and this is probably not the moment to think anything along the lines of ‘Holy fucking shit, Steve is worried about me!’ but it’s pretty clear by now that Eddie doesn’t really care about right moments anyway.

‘Nothing to worry about, Stevie.’ He tries to grin, but the movement is hurting his jaw and he has to bite back a groan. ‘Just a good old-fashioned Indiana hate crime.’

The frown on Steve’s face deepens. ‘Did he - did you -’

He doesn’t finish his question, and Eddie merely shrugs in response.

‘Jesus Christ.’ Steve brushes both his hands over his face in an exasperated motion. Then, his expression settles into something softer, more cautious.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Aside from the fact that my hookup fucking left me to be beaten to pulp by the local Christian psychopath and my head feels like it might split in two, yes, never better.’

Steve huffs. ‘Fair enough,’ he mumbles under his breath. ‘Alright, why don’t we go inside and get you cleaned up?’

He holds out his arms to support Eddie, but Eddie stubbornly chooses to ignore that - until he takes the first step and the combined dizziness of the shots and the fight almost immediately sends him crashing to the pavement.

‘Woah, I got you, man.’

Steve’s strong arms keep him steady before he can even blink, and maybe it’s not so bad after all, to feel those warm hands firmly around his arms with every step he takes.

Eddie clenches his jaw and tries to ignore the bass that starts hammering into his skull as soon as they step back inside the bar, and he lets Steve guide him to the restroom without paying attention to any of the staring patrons around them.

Steve lifts Eddie up like he weighs nothing and positions him on the sink, then swiftly turns on the tap and gets himself some paper towels. Eddie notices the blood on his knuckles, but Steve seems to be more worried about Eddie’s face than about his own injuries: he starts carefully dabbing the bruises at Eddie’s temple with the bundle of wet towels in his hand, with a concentrated frown between his brows and his eyes fixed on the damage that has been done. There seems to be a kind of routine to his movements, and something about that kind of makes Eddie want to cry.

‘You gonna tell me what happened exactly?’ Steve asks.

‘You know what happened,’ Eddie replies stiffly. ‘Forgot that this is what happens when you kiss someone.’

The worry on Steve’s face turns into skepticism.

‘So let me get this straight,’ he says, now moving the wet paper towel down over Eddie’s cheek, ‘You decided it was a good idea to have a full-on makeout session with a guy right outside the Hideout for everyone to see and -’

‘So I deserved it?’ Eddie cuts him off, a biting undertone to his voice.

Steve’s gaze flashes away from Eddie’s cheek and settles on his eyes. ‘Don’t put words into my mouth, man,’ he says, warning. ‘I just - I don’t want you to get hurt if you don’t have to. Were you even thinking at all?’

‘Hm. If you put it like that, it really does sound stupid, huh?’

‘Well, I hope it was worth it.’ There it is again, that coldness.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Hooking up with some random dude outside a bar. I hope it was worth the punches. Seriously Eddie, why would you even do that?!’

He probably shouldn’t be saying this. No, he really shouldn’t be saying this. But there’s something about the way in which Steve is phrasing all this shit that makes him feel cornered. ‘Because I needed to forget about you.’ He lets it slip out before he can stop it. God-fucking-damnit.

Steve’s hand freezes mid-dab, cloth hovering in the air in front of Eddie’s skin. His mouth opens, the inevitable What?! frozen on his lips.

‘There you have it,’ Eddie says with a stiff shrug. ‘Not only stupid enough to get beaten up while I shoulda known better, but also to fall for my straight friend like the total idiot I so clearly am.’ He can’t even look at Steve anymore, fixes his gaze on a point somewhere behind Steve’s shoulder. ‘You know what, you should go home. I’ll get myself cleaned up; I can walk to Reefer Rick’s and crash there.’

But Steve moves to position himself right in front of Eddie, making it impossible for him to jump off the sink like he was planning to.

‘No, we’re not going anywhere.’

‘Steve, c’mon, this whole shitshow has been embarrassing enough as it is, alright?’ He feels the burning behind his eyes; he knows what’s gonna come next and he doesn’t want Steve to be the witness to that. ‘I don’t wanna talk about it. Just - at least give me the dignity to have my pathetic breakdown in private.’

‘Well, I do wanna talk about it, and you know what, Eddie?’ There’s a certain edge to Steve’s voice that Eddie can’t quite place. ‘You are a total idiot. I don’t know why the hell you would ever assume I’m straight, so honestly, that’s on you, man.’

It takes a good few seconds before Eddie’s hazy brain finally catches up to Steve’s words. Wait, what?!

‘Steve, I swear to God, if you’re fucking with me right now...’

‘I wish I was.’ And something about the complete seriousness with which Steve says that, finally makes the penny drop in Eddie’s head.

For a couple of seconds, he can only stare at Steve, frozen in time and in the hundreds of words that are hidden behind that soft brown-eyed gaze of his. Then, he stretches out his hands, wraps them around Steve’s waist, tugging him closer between his legs, reaching -

But Steve doesn’t kiss him. He merely envelops Eddie in his strong arms, tangles his fingers into his hair, rests his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck...

‘Steve...’

‘Not right now, Eddie,’ Steve murmurs into his hair. ‘Not like this. Just let me hold you, okay?’

So he does. He lets Steve hold him. He feels his arms around him, feels his waist pressed against the inside of his thighs, feels the warmth radiating from his body, hears the steady breathing in his ear, smells the scent of hairspray and aftershave and something he never smelled before. And he lets Steve take him home, where he keeps clinging onto him like a koala to a tree - and he doesn’t even mind that nothing else happens while he’s in Steve’s bed for the first time, because he’s there, and Steve’s there with him - and for now, that’s more than enough.

[astrow0rldx]

18+ My own tarot reading by AI

so I did a tarot reading on this guy i like using my own tarot cards and typing it into AI. the only context i gave ai was the genders and the cards and said make a story. GPT is crazy. idk if you guys have to know me enough by my blog, in real life, the actual dynamic, etc. to understand how accurate this is but i decided to share this tip and this reading energy with you guys <3

his energy towards me:

I’ve watched her for some time now, and there’s something in her presence that pulls me in like nothing I’ve ever felt. Maybe it’s her youth—the way she moves through life with such fire, so much energy, like she hasn’t yet learned to slow down. It makes me feel both old and alive all at once. She’s different. She’s fresh, untamed, with a wildness that I can’t quite control, and that’s what makes me want her even more.

I see her again. The way she looks at me when she thinks I’m not paying attention—the flicker of curiosity in her eyes, the unspoken invitation. She knows what she’s doing, and so do I. We’ve been dancing around this tension for a while now.

What excites me about her isn’t just the youthfulness, the smooth skin, the bright eyes—it’s the idea that I could mold this connection. I want to take her and guide her, show her things she’s never experienced before, things only someone I could teach. That thought alone sends a surge of heat through my body. There’s power in it. The idea of control, of being the one who leads, the one who takes. I imagine how she’d respond to me—eager, curious, and willing to explore every inch of her body under my touch.

But it’s not just lust. It goes deeper than that. In the quiet moments, when I’m alone, I think about her. I picture her in my bed, the softness of her body pressed against mine. I wonder what it would feel like to watch her surrender, to give herself fully to me. And I think about how I would take my time with her—no need to rush. I’d savor every second, every breath, every sound she makes. She wouldn’t just be a conquest, no. She’s more than that.

There’s a possessiveness in how I feel. I want to make her mine, completely, utterly. I want to be the only one who knows what it’s like to touch her, to have her. It’s not enough to just take her body—I want her heart, her soul. And in those fantasies, she’s always willing, always ready for me. I imagine her looking up at me with those wide eyes, waiting for my next move, trusting me to lead her into something deeper, darker. I want to show her everything, to let her feel things she’s never felt before.

Sometimes, I catch myself thinking about her in the strangest moments. At work, during meetings, even when I’m with other people. I’ll see something—a glance, a touch—and my mind will drift back to her, to what we could have together. It’s like she’s taken root in my thoughts, a constant presence that I can’t shake. And the more I think about her, the more I want her.

There’s also something dangerous in these feelings. I’m cautious, always calculating. I’ve been hurt before, and I know the risks of giving too much too soon. But with her, it’s different. I want to open up, to let her see me for who I really am. And maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to her—because she makes me feel like I could be vulnerable again. But that’s a double-edged sword, isn’t it? Vulnerability can lead to pain, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

Even with all the desire, there’s a part of me that hesitates. Maybe it’s because I know this can’t just be about sex. She’s the kind of woman who could turn my world upside down, and that scares me more than anything. I’ve spent years building walls, protecting myself from emotions that run too deep. But when I think of her, those walls start to crack. And that’s where the confusion sets in. I want her, but I’m afraid of what having her might mean.

In the end, I know I can’t hold back forever. The pull is too strong. She’s too captivating, too tempting, and every part of me screams to make a move. But I have to be careful. I want to do it right. I want to make sure that when I take her, she knows it’s more than just lust. It’s about control, power, desire—but also something deeper, something I haven’t felt in a long time.

And maybe that’s what scares me the most. the fact that she could be the one to make me feel again

[igetnosleep]

Rekindling

Sequel to "The Night we Met" another attempt at angst. mostly written in Leon's point of view set after RE: 4 remake in mind.

So some TW: Four pages of Leon picking you apart, Leon being needy (If you count that as a warning), thoughts of mutilation (Leon wants to get close to you but is unable to express himself properly), Anger, implied smut (I cannot write smut for the life of me), angst, some comfort but I take it from you.

Six years.

Six years since Leon had last seen you.

It felt so far away the memory of Raccoon City was ingrained into his mind like a brand.

Then they took you away had you relocated far away from him away from anyform of comfort. He wished he could have followed you at that moment and have you in his arms longer.

It felt like decades had passed since he saw you.

He wished he could pour everything out, rip his skin off and have the weight in his chest fall out bloody and ugly, but you couldn’t know that. He had to beg on his knees to make sure you didn’t end up like him. You wouldn’t have survived USSTRATCOM. He barely survived. You would have died.

Mission after mission, saving the president's daughter, the DSO decided to throw him a bone. Reward him for all of his hard work.

Now here he is finally, he gets to see you, standing in front of your apartment door. Not Sherry unfortunately, Simmons wouldn’t let him. “Make up your mind Golden boy, what's it gonna be? Think fast or I’m pulling my offer off the table.” He wanted to kill that man, jaw clenched as he accepted his superior's terms.

He steeled his nerves reaching up and knocking on your door staring hearing a dog barking and the sound of nails tapping against wood floors then scratching and more barking, you had a dog. “Coming!” your voice rang out as you unlocked the door and he was met with a determined pitbull sticking its nose past the door trying to get a feel on him.

You held onto its collar the large puppy with a powder face, sniffing excitedly as its tail whacked your leg. “Noooo don’t run off you’ll get me in trouble again.” You spoke gently, eyes trained on the pup. Slowly you looked up at him and your eyes widened in surprise, like you saw a ghost.

“Leon?” Your voice was confused and unsure. He gave you a small nod, his lip quirked up trying to give you some semblance of comfort. Your grip on your dog loosened giving it the chance to approach him, he offered his hand allowing for a sniff of approval and affectionate licks to his palm.

You had changed a bit, you looked skinnier, unfortunately, he missed the softness in your body even if it was brief how long he’d held you. You looked tired, you hadn’t been sleeping. Why did you look frail? 

You looked at him like you didn’t recognize him, your eyes searching for something, a remnant of him from when you met.  The same man who had left you alone now thinner, cheeks sunken and heavy eyebags and dark circles. Hesitantly you touched his cheek watching him tense before forcing himself still.

Those blue eyes you couldn’t get out of your head dulled and tired. The back of your hand gently smoothed over his cheek and he sighed shoulders drooping, a hint of vulnerability. Leons hand coming up and grabbing yours pressing your hand against his cheek as he took a breath.

He needs more, more than just you touching his cheek. Morbidly he wished he could sink under your skin and feel your warmth, would you mind? Would you mind if he did that? You wouldn’t would you? 

Sink his teeth into your skin and rip your throat out, maybe claw his way into your chest and make a home next to your beating heart.

Your life felt too inviting. Your warmth all too accessible, willing, open for something like him always longing for something.

Then again. There was that fear. Fear of getting too close too fast, seeming all too eager for something more. He’d come out bloody and red staring back at you scared and confused. 

Your voice cut him out of his head. He blinked and hummed a small beckon for you to repeat yourself “Do you want to come in?”

You led him inside pouring both a cup of tea, chamomile, “Helps the nerves..at least that's what the lady down the hall told me.” you spoke almost in a daze, still surprised to see him there. You pour some honey and lemon into both mugs.

Silence felt deafening between the two of you, his eyes trailing the interior of your apartment, the dog lying peacefully on the couch cushions, he never took you for a dog person, the way the carpets seem to overtake the living room, how warm it felt in the apartment despite the air being at the coldest temperature known to man.

“How have you been?” It feels like a stupid question to you, but he knows it’s all you could think of at the moment, you weren’t social you could barely keep eye contact. Were you trying to go back to the night when you looked at him trying to find the puppy you met all those years ago?

It almost felt nice that you were trying to find something to cling to like how he’d started trying to take note of how you lived every detail to how you dressed was something he wanted to write into memory. You were an open book he held the highlighters and pens writing annotations on your pages underlining and highlighting the details that caught his attention.

You could barely peer into him. Leon felt like a blank journal, the cover beautifully decorated yet when opened held nothing, no words or details to keep note of, how he preferred it now, it wasn’t your fault. He reminded you of the ones you collected but never got the chance to use, he seemed torn and frayed, being through too much to know pages torn out secrets hidden between lines and invisible ink. He felt more like the blacked out lines you’d see in a government document. At least in the movies you’d seen but at this point you were sure it was the same.

A part of him felt angry you didn’t immediately know, you couldn’t get a read on him, see what kind of person he was now without feeling like you were intruding. The man in your living room is more of a stranger if anything rather than someone you thought was a friend.

Could you classify what you had as a grounds for friendship?

You hardly knew let alone understood what happened yourself.

Leon barely tried to acknowledge it, finding himself torn between wanting to acknowledge and longing to forget what happened even if it meant forgetting you sometimes.

He almost wanted to scream at you, resentment at the life you were living now like he didn’t make the choice to protect you. 

He bit back a scowl. Glowering from his spot. “Fuck you.” his mind supplied it was terrifying how it felt like it was creeping into his veins, anger, resentment.

You looked small under his gaze, did you regret it? Did you regret meeting him? Were you starting to regret letting him into your home?

He took a deep breath, the aroma of honey and lemon mixed into his cup easing his nerves. He needs to calm down. He’ll scare you if he keeps going on like this. You hadn’t seen him in years. You didn’t even know what he’d done for you. “And you never will.” 

It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. 

Leon knows better. He’s not his father. You’re not at fault.

“I’m..” he paused, debating telling the truth before shaking his head “I’ve been better.” you bit your tongue. Your cheeks flushed red as you rubbed your forehead. “Sorry..I just..You can’t talk about anything can you?” You were smart peeking into the cracks of his walls. He shook his head “No, sorry.” He looked down, somber hand coming up to rub his forehead. 

You sat in awkward silence, you weren’t used to the bitter tone on his tongue. You didn’t know what to say, what could you say? What could you do? His shoulders looked squared; he was guarded; rigid. 

His eyes narrowed and observed the area, what was he looking for? God fuck who knows something a hint that you had moved on that you were just fine without him. 

Resentment towards you festering in his mind despite him pushing it down but it clung to his gut unwilling to go away. Bitterness coated his tongue. You were scared one wrong move could break him and have him crumble like he was fragile. He wasn’t fucking fragile. “You have something on your mind?” He asked his finger tapping against the mug in his hands impatiently. 

You weren’t stupid, mostly just caught off guard by his behavior. Shifty eyes and rigid body language. Clear indication that he wanted to leave, to go back to wherever he called home.

“Sorry..I guess I’m still surprised to see you..” you apologized for your lack of words, it only proved to make him feel worse.

This meeting felt like a mistake. Everything about it felt wrong. 

Leon placed the mug down on the coffee table as he tapped his knee anxiously. “I should go.” Already getting up and moving towards your front door. You stared at him confused. He wasn't here for maybe a few minutes.

You didn’t want to leave it like this: a wordless exchange of nothing too much simmering under the surface too much needing to be said but fear and reluctance prevented them from being said.

“Leon.” Your voice was gentle trying to pull him away from his head “Are you..feeling up to a hug?” You asked, arms opening up in a curious invitation. 

For a moment he wanted to decline her out before he did something he would regret but he wanted to be selfish. He gave so much and let his superiors take so much of him it felt like there was nothing left to take. 

Just for a moment, let him have something.

Let him have this.

His arms wrapped around your shoulders, hands moving over your back slithering down and locking you in place while your hands hesitantly rest on his waist. Your hands were shaking at the unexpected contact not understanding how quickly he would change his demeanor. 

Leon nuzzled your neck, his hands clutching your shirt for a moment. He felt like he was reliving a good memory. A piece of heaven he thought was locked away from him his hands felt bloody, unclean, clutching your shirt.

You smelled nice. The scent of the soap you used was intoxicating a deep breath and he was ingraining it into his memory, his hands roaming down to your sides then up your shirt, feeling you jolt in surprise “Leon?” You voice surprised but not pushing him away cheeks flushed warm, almost burning feeling lips against your neck.

You pulled away staring at him eyes wide “Push me away. Please say something.” he murmured, his forehead leaning against yours. Your breath mingled with his while his fingers dug into your back pulling you closer with each moment of silence.

Your mind was racing, the sudden change the way he stared at you.

What the fuck?

Holy shit.

You were certain you might blow a fuse or burn out with how he was staring at you. What could you do? Say no? He did say that but the words weren’t forming in your mouth. Your name was rough on his tongue “Please say something.” he whined his voice cracking his hand coming up to cup your cheek his lips brushing against yours as you managed break out of your thoughts staring back into those pretty eyes of his ones you knew you could get lost in staring into for a long time if he allowed it.

“Keep going.” You gently urged your hand going over his thumb brushing over the back of his hand. He could get used to that feeling. His eyes darted down nudging your nose as he murmured, asking gently “Can I?” a small pause and you nodded allowing him to continue.

His lips were chapped desperate over yours. Your hands on his cheeks as you moved your mouth clumsily against his. “Bedroom?” he asked clumsily, he felt like a rookie again, legs wobbly as he guided you to where you spent your nights and mornings wrapped up in nothing but peace.

Need and desperation were the two emotions he felt during that moment. Being able to hold you to bring you close to the feeling you wrapped around him, his nails digging and clawing into your skin begging to be let in to be a part of your life without the blood and the fear, without the constant mockery or over reliance of his skills.

The morning after it was like he’d slept for the first time in a while, a proper sleep, no restless tossing and turning, no screams and vivid nightmares that came for his throat. Just sleep.

Leon breathed for what felt like a long time. Searching for you before wrapping his arms around you pulling you close his hand smoothing over your chest, a familiar heartbeat, a rhythm that made him relax with a scary realization.

He didn’t want to leave.

He wanted the warmth of the mornings and the cold nights wrapped under your blankets wrapped in you.

You.

You.

Fuck how long had he needed you?

How long did he need to be away before realizing that this was heaven. 

The pearly gates that he knew he’d be rejected from, He realized he gladly fall if it meant staying with you.

His hands were stained in blood staining your skin with his filth. He needed to make his place here. He needed you. He wanted you.

Fuck. 

Fuck fuck fuck.

What was he doing? What was he thinking coming here? Back to you? Back to the memory he wanted to forget?

Leon buried his nose in the crook of your neck, screwing his eyes shut, reluctant feeling like a little kid after being told he had to go to school after summer break stamping his foot whining. 

No. 

No. 

No. 

He refused because he didn't want to leave. This was perfect. Everything about this was home. This was home. You were home. His nails dug into your skin drawing out a whine from you still asleep. This was only supposed to be a visit. He didn’t need to look at his phone to know he was expected back. 

Could he come back?

He wasn’t sure.

Leon stared at you, stirring in your sleep, blinking with bleary eyes staring back at him “You okay?” Your voice is still asleep but trying to stay up for him. “Yeah..go back to sleep sweetheart.” he kissed the crook of your neck while rubbing your arm lulling you back to a peaceful slumber.

When you woke up again, Leon was gone.

[mermaidlighthouse]

I want to talk for a moment (or a LONG few moments but…) about my special little angel face, honeysuckle, cuppie cake…Stede Bonnet

From the start of the season, Stede is desperately seeking a person who he’s afraid will think he’s not good enough, that he is somehow lacking. He’s afraid he blew his chance at real happiness because he was scared and panicked (as he explicitly tells Ed in Fun and Games) but there’s so much more going on here. He wasn’t just scared and panicked because they were moving so fast during all their time together- he DIDN’T KNOW what they were doing. He didn’t realize they were falling in love because he didn’t know what it meant to be in love.

He was scared that running away to China was just going to be a rash decision borne out of a need to escape - he didn’t understand his value in general but more importantly, in that scene, to Ed. He didn’t understand that the “You wear fine things well” moment was special for Ed - we see that he’s come to understand that NOW in the flashback in Red Flags. He didn’t realize that to Ed, Stede is special. In all the moments that we understand Ed has been vulnerable because he’s willing to open up to Stede, Stede doesn’t have our insight. Not because he’s emotionally unintelligent - I would argue he’s generally well aware of how people see him - the problem is that NO ONE has seen him as worthy before and therefore is very easy to undervalue his significance. 

If we look at all the scenes that we as an audience can tell are meaningful to Ed, from Stede’s perspective he’s either unaware of Ed’s motivations even though the audience is aware (the treasure scene) or can, through the dialogue or lack thereof, discount the importance because of his poor self-worth. For instance, in the bathtub scene, Ed specifically says he outsources the big job - Ed has told Stede he doesn’t kill people not personally - it implies Ed’s decision to NOT kill Stede isn’t all that big a deal or at least to a person who doesn’t see their value (Stede) it would be very easy to write off the idea that Ed specifically didn’t want to kill Stede. Stede is aware that the fuckery has been triggering for Ed - this doesn’t make Ed’s confession any less impactful but it does bring into question the reasons behind his decision to not kill Stede. For Stede, it can easily be explained by saying “Ed has just relived a traumatic moment, he’s currently dealing with a heavy emotional burden, Ed doesn’t kill people (he just said so) and so he doesn’t want to kill me because it would be further trauma. Ed didn’t even see me as his friend so I’m simply a random person who happens to be here.” There, a neat little box of reasons that has nothing to do with Stede - not in any meaningful way, he’s merely a prop in the story. 

On the cliff, that was the first time he was even aware he was having an impact on Ed in any sort of meaningful way. Ed had literally, just walked away, yeah he came back but it’s not that difficult to see how it seemed easy for Ed to leave. Ed opted not to be Blackbeard anymore ostensibly to save Stede but, Stede is aware that Ed’s been thinking about packing it all in for a while now. Stede doesn’t understand how big an influence he’s had on Ed. It would be easy to say that he did ruin history’s greatest pirate because he put Ed in a position where he felt obligated to save Stede. Stede knows that Ed knows that Izzy sold them out. Ultimately, Ed put Stede in the position of being found by Chauncey and his first mate made that possible. It’s not that much of a stretch to assume that Ed simply feels guilty for putting Stede in that position and is saving him from the firing squad because of that guilt. Stede doesn’t see his worth and can’t imagine that it’s him as a person that Ed is attracted to, that Ed adores. That Ed’s quasi- or Izzy’s direct involvement in bringing about the situation has nothing to do with Ed’s decision because that would mean giving himself more credit, giving himself more agency and Stede has routinely been told that he has none, he never earned his status and he never will. The things he enjoys are worthless and weak. 

Stede so undervalues himself that excuses for people NOT hurting him or saving him can’t be due to his appeal or importance. He’s unimportant, therefore Ed’s reactions and decisions have little if anything to do with him. 

This is the repressed trauma that he carries around with him, that he buries beneath the smiles and silliness. He has moments of working through that (“I am adequate”) but that doesn’t remove the deep-rooted insecurities. The fact that he gets up and smiles and allows himself to be silly speaks to his strength of character. The moments when the demons rear their heads are so impactful but the fact that they return below the surface doesn’t mean they go away, it doesn’t mean he’s defeated them. Is it healthy? No. Is it still so courageous? Abso-fucking-lutely. He’s simply one of the strongest, most capable, genuinely wonderful characters BECAUSE he does all he does, saving the crew, working against his selfishness (most of the time), trying to figure out who he is and where he fits in the world while carrying this burden of internalizing his worthlessness.

[aurorawhisperz]

disbelief (e.l.)

contains: fluff, swearing, blood, mild violence.

spiderman!ethan landry x fem!reader

this is a one-shot

lowercase intended !

a/n: attention part 5 kinda put me on writers block but i decided to write this one since i was bored :> i’m also working on a requested fic outside of attention.

•

the city that never sleeps was shrouded in darkness, illuminated only by the bright lights of skyscrapers and streetlights. the sound of sirens wailing in the distance, and there ethan was, swinging through the city, he was absolutely fucked. his heart pounding with the adrenaline of the chase.

as he approached his apartment, the windows were dark, indicating most of the residents were probably asleep. he swung onto his window and shook as he stuck onto the brick wall right below.

“shit.” ethan winced in pain as he realized how badly he was injured. some parts of the spandex were ripped and torn, showing terrible bruises. he couldn’t afford to let his guard down, not for one damn second. opening the window to his room, stumbling inside, his body aching and exhausted, that was until he heard a gasp.

“what the fuck?!” you yelled as he turned around, trying to speak but his voice was hoarse from the fight, picking up a lamp, using it as a weapon.

“back up, back up, right now.”

he quickly put up his hands in surrender to try to stop you, taking off his mask, revealing his bruised face.

“eth?” you stammered as you dropped the lamp in disbelief, stepping away from him, he tried to move closer, but you still stepped away.

“what the hell are you doing in my dorm???” he asked, trying to move his injured arm.

“you’re the spiderman guy from youtube, oh shit shit shit, my boyfriend’s a superhero- that was you?!” you exclaimed, gesturing to his costume.

“baby, baby, baby, it’s not what it looks like-“ he said before getting cut off. “oh it’s exactly what it looks like, ethan.”

“i didn’t want you to know, it’s for your safety. please- i’m sorry i scared you.” he explained as you stared, still in shock.

you want to be there for him, to support him in everything he does. but how can you do that if he’s keeping such a big part of himself hidden from you? how can you trust him completely if he’s not willing to trust you with his secrets?

you had never seen him like this before, vulnerable and beaten. "let me help you," you said, walking over to him. "we need to get you cleaned up."

you carefully thread the needle and begin to stitch up your boyfriend’s wounds. the small apartment is quiet except for the occasional grunt of pain that escapes from ethan’s lips. as you work, you can't help but feel a sense of sadness that he didn't trust you enough to reveal his secret identity as spiderman.

"ouch," he winces as you pull the thread tight. "sorry, baby," you say softly, trying to be as gentle as possible. "it’s not your fault," he replies, giving you a small smile. "i just hate the thought of you being hurt because of me."

and now, the room was quiet except for the sound of the needle piercing through his skin. you were focused, tongue sticking out the side of your mouth, as you carefully stitched up the gash on his arm. the room was dimly lit, and the only light came from the lamp on the desk, casting shadows on his bruised and bloody face. he winced in pain as the needle went in and out of his skin, but he didn't say a word anymore. you could feel the tension in the air, the unease of what just happened.

finally, you finished stitching up his arm and tied a knot, cutting off the thread. you looked up at him, and your eyes met his. ethan didn't say anything, but you could see the guilt in his expression. you sighed, "eth, why didn't you tell me?" he looked down at his hands, "i don’t fucking know, i didn't want to put you in danger." you placed a hand on his cheek, "i can handle myself. we don't keep secrets from each other, remember?" he nodded and pulled you in for a hug.

you both stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, just enjoying the comfort of being close. eventually, ethan pulled away, "i need to change out of this suit." You nodded, "i’ll wait." as he went into the bathroom to change, you took the time to clean up the bloodied supplies and put them away.

when he came out, he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. he looked at you with a small smile, "thanks for waiting." You grinned back, "of course, i wouldn't want to miss seeing you in your sweatpants." he chuckled, "you’re lucky you're cute." you stuck out your tongue in response, and he leaned in to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

you both got into bed, snuggling up against him, your head on his chest. the silence was comfortable, and you could hear the sound of his heartbeat under your ear. it was moments like these that made you feel complete, like nothing else in the world mattered as long as you had him by your side.

as you both drifted off to sleep, he whispered, "i love you." you smiled, "oh, come on, you know i love you too." and with that, you both fell into a peaceful slumber, wrapped up in each other's love and warmth.

the two of you lay there in silence, listening to each other's breathing. it was moments like these that made you realize how much you loved him. even though you had only been dating for a month, it felt like you had known each other forever.

"hey," he whispered, breaking the silence. "are you still awake?"

you smiled and turned to face him, "hell yeah, i am.”

"i just wanted to say that i’m sorry for keeping my identity a secret from you," he said, his voice barely audible. "i wanted to tell you, but i was scared. i didn’t want to put you in danger."

you took his hand, "i understand, eth. you don't have to apologize. i’m just glad that you trust me enough to tell me now, even if you didn’t really tell me, instead scared me.”

ethan squeezed your hand, and you knew that everything would be okay.