#I want to be making progress on as many things as I can
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sage-nebula · 3 days ago
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The more I've thought about it over the past several days, the more disappointed I am with Mel's arc in season 2 of Arcane. Aside from how she was sidelined for most of the season (given that she spent most of it imprisoned), I feel like her magical abilities are actually a step down for her in terms of power -- that they're flashy and bright and meant to impress, meant to say "look, she can hold her own in battle now!" but that they exist at the expense of taking away the strength and power that Mel did have previously.
In season one, Mel's establishing character moment is when she's looking over a selection of items, and ends up choosing one that she is told is nothing more than a children's toy. In her next scene, she presents it to a fellow councilor as a birthday gift, and he is delighted, thinking that it is an intricate and complex puzzle that only the most brilliant minds can solve. This is such, such a strong characterization moment for Mel; it shows us that she is not only intelligent, but clever, able to work the people around her to her advantage without them noticing it.
And while the fandom has been nasty to her ever since season one aired, I don't think Mel being manipulative in this vein is at all a negative character trait. I think it is a strength. It shows how competent she is in her field, which is politics. And what's more, it's necessary for someone like her, who is a.) a foreigner, given that she only came to Piltover after being exiled from Noxus, and b.) quite young by political standards, given that she's only in her early 20s in act 1 of season 1.
We see this strength of Mel's continuously in season one, though not in the way her most ardent haters (and Jayce in act 3 of season 2, because of bad writing) believe. No, she did not pull the wool over Jayce's eyes and force him to make any decisions. He was a grown man who made choices all on his own, and choices that Mel supported him in making, at that. But she was able to see the potential in hextech, and help both Jayce and Viktor navigate and clear road blocks that would have otherwise impeded their progress. Jayce comes to her complaining that Heimerdinger is blocking progress of their research using the power of the council, and so she gets him on the council, for instance. And this was a feat; Jayce was seen as the "man of progress," but being a scientific innovator does not a politician make. But Mel was able to put him there, in a place where he (of his own volition!) called for the vote and made the speech that got Heimerdinger ousted from the council. Not that Mel was going for that -- she is clearly shocked in the scene and only raises her hand after Jayce nods at her for her support -- but still, it goes to show how Mel was able to influence situations around her, and navigate a political field that, by many measures, was set against her.
(Because while Mel was obviously not sent to Piltover with nothing, and therefore was undoubtedly housed in the luxury part of Piltover even in the early days of her exile, let's not make any mistake: she was still a foreigner to Piltover, and a child at that, when she arrived. Though her wealth gave her a leg up, she still had to work to get to where she was, and work hard; she had to shed whatever childhood innocence she still had in order to be able to navigate the political landscape of Piltover to get herself onto the council. No doubt Piltovan natives on the council wouldn't have wanted a foreigner sat among them, but she still managed it. And she managed it due to her own intelligence and inner strength.)
So in season one, we see that Mel is a powerful character in the narrative. She may not be participating in combat, but that is far from the only type of strength. Mel affects how things in the narrative go; she has agency in her own decisions, and she can move the narrative along due to the choices she makes and the actions she takes. She's one of the strongest pieces on the board in this respect.
Season two . . . takes that away from her.
Before her kidnapping, she's still in a position of power, albeit one that is slipping due to Ambessa partnering up with Salo in order to fight against Mel on the council. It doesn't help that a good chunk of the council is dead, and Piltover is shaking after Jinx's attack on the council building. Mel's position, of still wanting peace between Piltover and Zaun, is precarious. But she is still holding it. She holds against sending hextech weaponry against Zaunites (in order to protect Jayce's dream, of which he himself betrays not too long after). She stands against her mother and Salo. She's doing the best she can in the position she has and is still, however diminished her position may be from people (including her own boyfriend!) undermining her, affecting change.
But this changes after she gets kidnapped. Not only is she completely removed from the Piltover and Zaun plot for at least half the season (if not more), after she finally gets free and returns to Piltover in season three, it's as if all of her political savvy and sway has been stripped from her. We don't see her making any meaningful decisions regarding the future of Piltover. We don't see any indication that she has anything to do with Piltover's reconstruction and reformation of the council following the big battle. In said battle, she does fight (and kill) her mother using her shiny new magical abilities -- but that makes her just like any other combat-ready character on the show, able to kick ass in the physical arena. Yes, her abilities themselves are different, but the effect? Particularly when the abilities themselves strip Mel of not only the life she built for herself, but her home since her childhood, I can't be happy about them.
Because that's the crux of it. Yes, Noxus is where she was born, and where she spent early childhood. Yes, it's where her family is from. But your home is not necessarily where you were born. Mel was exiled to Piltover as a child, and she built a life there. She had her home, she had friends, she had a boyfriend. And while Elora, Jayce, and Viktor all died, I find it hard to believe that Mel had no other friends, even if we didn't see them. At the very least, she was friends with Caitlyn. At the very least, I believe she would have been an ally to Sevika on the council, given that she knows how it is to be a foreigner on that stage (Zaun is treated as foreign -- look at the way the other councilors glared at Sevika when she took her seat). And hell, her work on that council was dedicated into making Piltover a better place to live. It isn't as if she was just passively living in Piltover as her home; she was actively working to make it better.
But that is taken away from her at the end of the season, because she got these shiny magical powers that allowed her to kill her mother, and that means she has to return to Noxus. She has to return to a country that is as foreign to her now as Piltover was when she was exiled, completely alone, expected to lead a military when that isn't where her strength was. Her strength was in politics, not military command. But none of that matters now, because Mel was completely ousted from the position where she held her strength and power, with the show claiming it's okay because look, she can fight now!
(Also, side note, but I hate that fucking body suit she's in after she unlocks her mage powers. It feels grossly sexualized. Anyone who knows me knows that I fawn over Mel's beauty, because I am a lesbian and she is drop dead gorgeous, not to mention I love color contrasts and that gold with her dark skin and hair? OHKO on me. But although Mel was always designed to be gorgeous, I never felt she was designed in a sexualized way until that body suit. Something about the way that the implication is that it's just grafted onto her skin after she awakens her mage powers (because she wasn't wearing it before, but now she's wearing something so skin tight it looks painted on) makes it feel like she would be naked if the TV-14 rating would allow it. The way it exposes parts of her breast and her back don't help this. It feels like a, yeah, Mel has these incredibly strong new magic powers, but she also looks like more of a sexual object to take gratification in. Like they're "powering her up," but also powering her down at the same time. It feels very video game character design of them, compared to how beautiful and empowering all of her previous outfits were. Maybe I'm the only one to feel this way, but I just really hate it.)
This isn't a formal essay and so I'm sure my thoughts are all over the place, but ultimately, I just can't be satisfied with Mel's arc. I can't be satisfied that she was removed from the plot and allowed to affect so little of it after that was her greatest strength (and made her a truly standout character!) in season one. I can't be happy that she loses the life and home she built for herself in Piltover, to be sent back to a country she didn't want to return to alone. I can't be happy that the excuse for removing her from the plot was to give her magic powers so She Can Fight Now, when plenty of other characters already fight and so it doesn't make her stand out. I can't be happy that Jayce was made to spew anti-Mel talking points that the fandom had been putting out for years, none of which were true. And I really can't be happy that they put her in that ugly fucking body suit, which feels really demeaning for reasons I don't think I explained properly.
Mel deserved better. Point of fact, she deserved better. I'm happy she didn't die, but god, she was still done dirty.
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citrus-writing · 3 days ago
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Hello-hello
In your headcanons, Chrollo is very careful with reader, afraid to scare her away with some thoughtless actions or words. Especially when it comes to intimacy
But could something happen that would make Chrollo just take her by force?
Perhaps something made him very angry or upset, but that wasn’t fault of the reader herself?(He’s a leader of the Troupe after all…)
Will Chrollo blame himself the next day?
Spoilers for the yorknew and succession war arcs! 
Warnings: nsfw, non-con 
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I imagine there are a few things that could upset Chrollo so deeply he acts impulsively, and when it comes to his darling, the impulse he’s constantly holding himself back from is taking them by force. Because he wants them so badly, and normally he has a great deal of self control, but when his grip on his emotions start to slip, so does his control over his more innate desires when it comes to you.
The deaths of his fellow troupe members hit him hard, harder than he’d like to admit, and as much as he tried to push the despair from his mind, it left him reeling. How someone could be there one moment and then gone the next- of course he’d always know this, but to lose so many so dear to him so fast has him desperate for something to ground him. 
And of course, it’s you. You’re all that he needs, he knows this, he’s always known. Just to hold you close, smell the scent of your hair, feel your soft breath on his skin, listen to the soft beating of your heart. It’d be enough. It’d be more than enough. 
Chrollo wraps his arms around you tight, pulling your back against him as you lay together in his bed. It’s not uncommon to lay like this together, but you can tell something is wrong. His breathing is a little off, and his heartbeat is pounding. 
His hands trace little patterns on your skin, inching over your bare arms and across the fabric of your nightclothes. It’s not like him, to get so handsy with you. It’s so unlike him that you squirm a little, uncomfortable with the advances he’s making. 
“Chrollo-” you whisper, unsure what’s gotten into him and scared of what it could mean. 
“Forgive me, my love.” he whispers against the back of your neck, before pressing an open mouthed kiss against your skin. 
He’s been holding back for so long, wanting you for what seems like an eternity but never able to have you. But tonight he can't resist you, whatever it is that draws him to you is too strong and he cant stop himself from indulging in you. Surely you’ll hate him for this, surely all the progress he’s made will be lost, but he needs you- more than he’s ever needed anything. 
He pins you down beneath him, body caging yours against the bed, and before you can let out a noise of protest his lips are on yours. Gone is the way he normally kisses you; so soft, so sweet. 
The way he normally gently caresses and touches you is gone, replaced with this new side of him, hungry and desperate. 
It’s not that he’s rough with you- even now, he hates the idea of having to hurt you. But if you insist on making this difficult, he won't be able to hold back. But he’d much rather have you willing beneath him. Or, if not willing, then at the very least, not defiant. 
He kisses you again and again, his tongue sliding into your mouth when you try to gasp. His body presses up against yours, hips moving against yours in a desperate attempt for friction. This is what he needs- all of you. And soon enough he can wait no longer; pulling at your clothes to free your body to the night air, delighting in the sight of you finally, finally, bare to him after all this time. 
He knows he’ll hate himself tomorrow, he knows he’ll fall to his knees and beg you for forgiveness, plead for you to give him another chance. But with you beneath him like this, tomorrow seems so far away.
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gildeddlily · 2 days ago
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season 2 started off beautifully. I was ecstatic at the end of episode three, for the simple reason that it had the same spirit as season 1. Vi feeling like she made a mistake so big trying to reach Powder instead of seeing Jinx and the danger she represented that the only way to fix that for her was to join her oppressors. Caitlyn destroying all the progress she'd made, unlearning what she'd been taught about Zaun by being with zaunites like Vi, the moment one of them killed her mother, and embracing her roots we can say, talking of bad blood and "I thought you were different"- showing that the internalised racism was always there ready to resurface the moment it had an excuse to. Caitlyn saying that her mother being killed by a teenager who's never dealt with her trauma and mental illness is the same thing as Vi's parents being killed by members of a military institution, disregarding everything she knew about the pain and abuse Vi went through because of the Enforcers. a "men get abused too" situation, in which one ignores the social and historical background of that type of violence to feel less sorry about it. they were perfectly well written, because they are things we see everyday. my father taught me as a child that black people crossing the Mediterranean to look for work in Italy were a good thing, and now that he's had problems at work with one he's started saying the opposite. a gay man I knew laughed at trans folks and said they made things worse for us, ridiculing them in the company of straight people to feel less threatened. (not the exact same thing as what happened to Vi, but you get what I mean).
those are real things, and Arcane has always been good at showing real things.
later on, episode seven, Jayce fell down. he landed in the deepest hole of Zaun, broke his leg, was forced to wear a brace to walk, suffered and had to claw his way back to the surface, to Piltover, in a strange metaphor of Viktor's journey and life (saw a post talking even more beautifully about this, will put the link here if I find it again), and once he met Viktor again, he told him his illness, his legs, he, were beautiful. not despite everything. because of it. and now he can understand him a little more. now he says "your imperfections are beautiful" and we can believe him, because he's not speaking from the perspective of a man trying to convince his friend to stop harming others. he's a man trying to make his partner see that he still loves him, now that he's finally understood him after years of trying to reach the truth and always being stopped by something, and that he understands him enough to know why he's harming others, and that he cares for him enough to think that he will be able to understand why it's wrong. it's Viktor accepting the inevitability of being seen by someone who went to hell and back to reach him.
those were fucking beautiful arcs. they were.
and then?
Vi saw Caitlyn become what she'd always said she wouldn't become, and there were no repercussions. Catelyn got to walk away and live all the same. she lost an eye to Ambessa, but it was no punishment for what she'd done. how many people did she harm? how many people did her actions have repercussions on? Vi shouted at her once, and then it was like it had never happened- which is still real, I guess. it happens everyday. but I didn't see any wish to make us see how that was wrong. I don't want to be told "this is wrong", I'm old enough and smart enough to understand this, but I also think I can see the difference between trying to show deeper meanings and not wanting to deal with difficult plot lines.
and Zaun? it was sad. pathetic. years of abuse were what, forgotten and then vanished in thin air because there was a common enemy? that, sadly, isn't real. it isn't. years or oppression can't be forgotten so easily, not by the oppressed, for one "glorious" fight. it's lazy. what started as a good depiction of reality turned into an american wet dream of big fights and sad sacrifice scenes and epic love stories that cross any difficulty, and economic and social difference. don't you dare say something against Caitlyn and Vi's ending, they went through all that, they deserve nice things. they do. many other people did. no one cared about them tho.
so.
epic failure. good soundtracks tho.
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cheapshrimpysheep · 1 day ago
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Book 7 - Battle Maps/Node Battles
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I'm just writing this in case it can help someone get past the Node Battles in Book 7 - The Lord of Malevolence.
I am a F2P player (Free to Play) Which means I have never paid anything in this game, so all my tips can be used by any player as well.
I've always managed to get through these battles on the first day and I'll tell you what I usually do. My method is certainly not the best out there, but it works very well, at least for me.
1. Choose characters according to the number of SSR
I first see how many SSR cards I have of each character and choose the characters at the beginning of the node according to that number.
For example: I always choose Idia because I have 3 SSRs of him, then I choose characters that have 2 SSRs each and if I can still choose more I choose the ones that have 1 SSR.
When I'm undecided about which character to choose, I check out the Duo Magic.
For example: My best card is Azul's Dorm Uniform SSR whose Duo Magic is with Riddle and I happen to have 1 Riddle SSR, so if it makes sense I'll put Riddle on my list too.
2. Just fight the necessary battles
Don't worry about unlocking all parts of the map, you can do it in the 2nd round.
When you finish one of these node battles map, all your cards regenerate as new, but the map remains with the parts you unlocked.
So what I do in the first round is to only fight the battles necessary to finish the map, choosing the least difficult ones if I can and avoiding the most difficult ones.
Once I finish the map and load it back, I can choose the characters again (I usually stick with the same ones) and when the map opens, all the parts I unlocked remain unlocked and I just need to unlock the ones I have left with all my cards regenerated. (I talk about this in point 6)
3. SR are your pawns
Do you know how in chess the pawns can be sacrificed? This is what I do with the SRs.
Following the logic of only fighting the necessary battles, when I choose a relatively easy battle like 2 or 3 stars, I use SRs to save my SSRs for the more difficult battles.
But, I still use SRs at max card level and with the spells at least at level 5.
SRs do the job and there is no big problem in losing them in battle, but it is good to have them strong enough to last longer or even fight more than 1 or 2 battles.
4. Get all the help you can
Whenever there is a chance for me to gain advantages in battles, such as healing cards or buffs and debuffs, I take them all!
5. Save your best SSRs for the final battle.
The last battle is usually the hardest so it's a good idea to try and save your best 5 SSRs for that time.
Even if you lose in the first round of the battle, you will still be able to do enough damage to make it easier in the next round with other cards.
But you can use other SSRs in other battles that are relatively difficult.
I usually use SSRs to win the fight quickly or at least cause enough damage so that if I only have SRs left, they can win on the next attempt.
6. Second round
So, I said I would play these maps twice: the first time to progress the story and the second time to unlock the entire map. And like I said, the map will be the same as you left it and all your cards will be completely regenerated.
The hardest first.
Here I reverse the rules of the first round, take advantage of the fact that you have all your cards at max and start with the most difficult battles, as there is no longer the problem of losing cards. Even if you start losing your SSRs, the SRs can handle the less difficult battles, and so, in principle, you can complete the map.
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I think these are all the things I think about when I play. I hope this can be useful to someone. ❤️ And if you want to share more tips, feel free to comment them.
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minnies-puppydoll · 4 hours ago
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{ Kinkmas Day 1: }
❄️ .*•snow bitten•*. ❄️
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pairing: bangchan x reader
summary: you beg chan to play in the snow with you, but who knew it would be that cold? but don’t worry, he’ll always be there to warm up his favorite little girl.
warnings: daddy kink, caretaker roles, praise, comfort, manhandling, degradation, pussy eating, size kink/mentions of being smaller than chan, slapping, nipple play, let me know if i missed any!!
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the snow fell peacefully on your face as you watched the white, foggy sky. days like these with chan are always the best.
you thoroughly insisted on coming outside to play in the snow, despite chan telling you its too cold and to wait for the thermal coats he bought to come in the mail. but, he knows his girl, always so impatient.
so you throw on a sweater and a thin jacket, obviously not enough to be let outside by chan, so you slowly open the cold doorknob and let your boots hit the snow.
you step around slowly, taking in how the ice cascades along the ground, covering all the the plush, green grass that once was. you scoop some up with your hands, the little crystals bite at your hands warmth, you forgot mittens.
despite your impatient disobedience, chan was an amazing caretaker to you. it’s like he knows everything about you. your fears, insecurities, and doubts, they’re all his now. always have been. chan enjoys having someone to take care of, he loves feeling needed, you both were made for eachother it seems.
you and chan have been dating for half a year now, yet sex was still a fresh topic. sure, you wanted to many times, but chan wants you to wait. you thought it was because he didn’t want you, but he quickly made sure to correct that.
“no no, sweet girl. of course i want you, but i want you to learn to feel safe and secure without feeling like you need to have sex with me, i don’t want you to do it for reassurance. can you wait for me? daddy wants you very much, little angel.”
waiting is hard. he’s evil using that nickname then telling you to wait. you know he’s right, but progress is nothing when you run your hands along yourself, pretending he finally decided to have you.
its easy to worry about things when you’re surrounded by such peace and silence, alone with your thoughts while chan isn’t there to take them all away like usual.
what if he abandons you? or maybe you’re just holding him back? what if always having to take care of you is a nuisance to him?
chan always said they were useless thoughts, and that he’ll always love you, but its hard to not overthink with everything that happened with the men in your life growing up.
..what if you’re dissapointing him right now by sneaking out into the yard? tears start to fill up your eyes.
“i’m sorry, chan.”
you mutter under your cold, visible breath to the image you made of him standing over you, his arms crossed with a fed up expression. but, when you turn around, you bump into something, no, someone warm with firm shoulders wrapped in a thick sweater.
chan greets your eyes with a smile when you open them, one that makes you melt despite the unforgiving snow, one that fills up that empty core inside yourself with safety and security, one that shows you no signs of irritance or resent, just pure, unconditional love. nothing like the chan your insecurities made in your head.
“enjoying the snow, my little angel? warm enough?”
the nickname washes your fears away, healing your upset mind. you can only look up at him innocently through your lashes, nodding your head and playing with the button on his coat.
“mhm. sorry i left. um..chan?”
“hm?”
“..you would tell me if i was too clingy? or just annoying sometimes, right? i know it’s a hassle to always take care of me or..stuff like that.”
you say avoiding his gaze and pouting, chan pets your hair, caressing his hand down to the back of your neck to cup your cheek softly with his big, firm hands. all of a sudden you don’t wanna play anymore, you wanna be with him.
“sweet girl..i know. im not upset with you at all. nothing you can do or say could ever stop me from loving you, remember?”
all of the feelings you wished you could’ve felt back then as a little girl poured into your head and spilled from your eyes and into chans chest as you pressed closer to him, nuzzling into his comforting scent and dependable chest.
he knows how vulnerable you can get when you feel like this suddenly, so chan holds you, placing his hand on the back of your head so you feel safe. when you pull away to look at him, he takes your small hand in his, stroking your skin with his thumbs. but, he stops when he notices you shivering. the snow soaked your clothes and left you wet and cold in his arms.
“..daddy?”
“hm?”
“i want to tell you something else..but i don’t want you to get mad at me.”
you say, chewing on your nail. chan smiles fondly at you.
“what is it? you know you i love you. more than anything in the entire world.”
“..i want..to start having sex with you. not for selfish reasons anymore, just need to feel you. is that okay?”
for a moment chan is silent, its a painful silence for you. please, say something. anything. then, chan starts giggling.
“..daddy?”
“im so proud of you. using your words for me, hm? need me inside you? need to feel my heart closer to you, baby? god, i think if i loved you anymore i might really explode.”
you hide your face in his chest again, burning with shyness. you didn’t think it be this easy, now you just wish he would stop teasing and fuck you already.
“feel better? come here. lets go inside and get you warmed up, silly girl.”
i guess there is a god.
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chan sits you down on the large bed with thick, winter comforters cushioning you softly.
gently, but without delay, he begins to unbutton your coat. he gazes into your eyes with every soft clasp, as if you and him are the only ones in the universe..it hums an intimate fuzzing in your head, and an un-wholesome reaction between your thighs.
your coat is smoothly brisked off of your shoulders and discarded onto the floor somewhere, not that you really care about the details right now, as he quickly learns the hard way that you weren’t wearing much under that coat.
chan doesn’t seem that suprised, he simply takes notice of the pink, lacy bra you thought it was a good idea to wear outside and looks back at you with narrowed eyes..
“this is why you were so cold, huh? my dumb, baby..im suprised you didn’t freeze to death.”
you bite your lip when his warm hands roam around your cold breasts, circling his thumbs along the frills of the bra and your sensitive nipples just below them. he knows what he’s doing.
he teases you by leaving it on, running his hands down to your inner thighs, crouching down in between them.
“lay back for me, angel.”
he coos softly with a tender smile. he tucks his thumbs under your waistband, pressing your legs up and hastily peeling your thick, thermal pants off of your legs, revealing a matching set of pink lacy panties and fuzzy, winter thigh highs.
you hid your face as chan stripped you like a doll, then you giggled a bit as he smirks and sighs at your cold weather fashion choices.
“really, sweetheart? maybe you planned this , huh? thought about me stripping that pretty body? ..what am i going to do with you? such a little slut, even in winter.”
his firm hands caress your plush hips, before landing a smack to your thigh. you yelp and squirm in his overpowering grasp, before hes sticking his thumbs in the sides of your cute panties and slowly pulls them down, revealing your soft pussy with a string of arousal connecting to your underwear.
chan parts his lips and lets out a soft noise at the sight, biting his lip and pulling them off your legs. his hand is large over your tummy, the skin is rough in contrast you yours as his strokes his thumb over you sweetly.
“sweet thing. gonna let me take you? i’ll treat this pretty pussy so well as long as you go dumb for me.”
he brings his thumb up to your mouth, you suck on it lightly and bat your lashes at him.
“whore.”
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his head is perched between your thighs, pressing soft kisses on your sweet skin.
when your eyes meet his, your stomach flips. just the visual of his mouth so close to where you need him most makes you whine and grind your hips up into nothing.
you have no choice. his arms are trapping your legs open, with his hands securely holding your hips in place. you try to squirm out of his grasp, and the feeling is delicious. you can’t move an inch.
“hm? can’t move, huh? that’s right. daddy’s got you.”
he coos, with a hungry tone in his voice. like he’s been waiting for this, for the moment he has his little girl all vulnrable and desperate for his body. his kisses to your thigh reach the lowest part of you, he comes to a halt and raises his head.
chan looks at you for a second, admiring and savoring the look of you before he gives you what you want. he bites his lip and smiles, revealing his sharp canines pressing on his plush lips.
he lowers his head closer to your twitching cunt, letting his breath tease you first. your red, puffy clit throbs at the denial of his sweet mouth wrapped around it.
“ahn- channiechannie please! can’t take it anymore. i’ll do anything just pleaseplease-“
“who?”
“fuck..daddy? daddy please.”
chan ignores you. he thinks your begs and cries are so adorable, but he already knows what he’s gonna do.
the first touch of his tongue sliding against your pussy feels like suffocating magic. but it doesn’t take long before your squirming and grinding your hips for more stimulation as the tip of his tongue circles just around your tortured little clit.
but you can’t move. and he won’t stop teasing you.
“ah! stopstop stop teasing please! jus’ wanna cum- wanna cum in your mouth, daddy-“
chan shuts you up quickly by wrapping his pretty lips around your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue along it, sloppily making out with your pussy like he really means it.
your back immediately arches off the bed, tossing your head back along with it. in between your legs feels like heaven, blanketing your mind with silky, glowing white as you let out an absolutely fucked out scream.
you hear a squeaky chuckle between your legs from chan, he cups your ass with his hands and pulls you in closer to his greedy mouth. his eyes meet yours again, there’s a haze of darkness that passes through his before he bites a little nip on your pussy.
you yelp and jolt up, trying to plead him to stop, but chan is quick to sooth your tortured cunt with two talented fingers working their way into his pretty dolly’s hole.
his fingering is fast paced, has you gripping his hands and squirting all over them in minutes. chan handles his girl so roughly, but he looks down at you so carefully and attentive, as if you’re really made of fragile porcelain. his gaze is full of love and adoration, letting out sweet little giggles at your reactions. he can’t help it, you’re just so cute to him!
chan crooks his fingers up to thrust into your g-spot, you already can’t take it, but you die a little bit when his idle thumb presses into your clit, thrusting in sync with the rest. the added stimulation sends soaring stars of pleasure up your squirming body, chan’s veins on his arms show as he fucks his fingers up into you harder, manhandling an orgasm out of your poor little pussy.
“g’nna cum, yeah? that’s all the dumb little dolly is good for, right? serving daddy?”
“daddy! daddydaddyfuck..! gonna cum-“
“ah, what do we say, pretty girl?”
“can- can i cum? please? ahn..gonna cum so good - ah! on your fingers, daddy…”
“such a smart girl. go ahead and cum, pup. daddy’s got you, hm?”
it only takes those words for the harsh orgasm you were holding back to burst free, soaking chan’s abs and hands. you pathetically wail as he continues the abuse your pussy, fucking you through your wet little orgasm, but you feel so safe. you know chan’ll always hold you safe and tiny in his arms in such a vulnerable headspace.
when you finally start to come down, he strokes your tummy, up to your cute breasts, and finally to your cheeks, where he plants a soft kiss to remind you he loves you.
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chan stands up and wipes his mouth. you notice how he’s still completely dressed and you’re only in your slutty thigh highs. it’s a hot situation, but it won’t do for now.
you slide your foot along his belt buckle, pulling and tugging at while whining at him, wordlessly begging for him to finally fill you up.
“what do you want, pretty girl? tell me and i’ll give it to you.”
you don’t respond, you just blink up at him, going a bit non-verbal and fuzzy already, and it’s worse when chan leans down to grab your face.
“hey. you want daddy to fuck you? want daddy’s cock pressing into your tummy, baby?”
“mhm..”
“then use. your. words.”
chan almost growls in your ear, you feel the texture of denim grinding at your overstimulated clit, he’s frotting his hard cock against your pussy from the fabric, urging you to say what he ordered you to say.
“mm’fuck! chan yes!”
a harsh slap stings your cheek.
“you know my name, stupid slut. is that pretty head just for decoration, or can you actually use it?”
“m’sorry, so sorry..fuck. daddy, please fuck me? please? ill be such a good girl, such a good hole for you please-“
the more you talk the bigger the smile lights up on his face, you’re just the most adorable thing in his eyes.
“aw, who’s my good girl? is it you? fuck..that’s right, angel.”
chan takes your little fuzzy-socked foot in his hand and brings it up from his belt to his face, planting a kiss above your heel.
he places your foot over his shoulder and begins to undo his belt with hypnotizing metal clicks. you’re finally getting what you’ve wanted since you started dating chan.
his belt and pants come undone, and you finally get a view of his big, red cock. it throbs in the air just by looking at the reaction on your face, suddenly he’s a little shy, just like the channie you know. he let’s out a squeaky giggle and avoids your eyes as he pumps his cock lazily.
“you want it, hm? it’s leaking for you and those pretty hips.”
he says now biting his lip and spreading your legs back, trapping you in a mating press. his face rests near your collarbone, whispering filth desperately as far as you can hear it.
“fuck..can’t hold it anymore, need to sink into you..tight fucking pussy- need it squeezing me.”
with that, he’s spreading your folds and forcing his cock in with tiny little thrusts. the stretch is overwelming, but it’s pressing on the front of your g-spot perfectly.
when your pussy is filled all the way, he wastes no time at all continuing his pace with larger and more forceful thrusts inside you, one’s that have you breathlessly screaming.
you really can’t take it, it feels too good you don’t know what to do with yourself. you need him to slow down.
you can’t form sentences right now, so you try planting your hands on his abdomen to brace yourself, but chan swipes them up instantly, gripping your wrists together to use as leverage to pull you back down on his cock.
“fucking take it. stay still, you said you would be good, hm? this pussy’s too little to fit me?”
you’re going braindead you swear, his cock is mind-numbingly thick, it soaks your g-spot, while also being long enough to fuck spots you’re sure no dildo has ever reached before.
chan bounces you like that for a bit before taking one of your legs and lifting it up, holding it against his chest while he rolls his hips in your cunt. he’s lost in it, closing his eyes and placing plush kisses along your sock.
he brings his hand down to thumb at your clit messily, slapping it occasionally to get you there closer. he feels himself faltering in your pussy, groaning louder and leaning his head back at the feeling of you sucking him in.
“fffuck..good fucking girl..gonna make daddy cum? yeah? want me to spill inside this greedy cunt?”
“mn..mhm!”
he hears your meek response. chan places his hand on the side of your head, forcing you to hear him as he brings his face to the crook of your neck.
you don’t like this. you love the feeling of him fucking you more than anything, it makes you feel taken care of and safe, and closer to your boyfriend. but what you really need right now is his cum, and he isn’t cumming fast enough for you.
“gonna cum, yeah? look at what you’re doing to me- ah!”
chan tenses as you pull up his shirt to pinch at his nipples, rolling them in your fingers. his arms shake around you as he writhes, but he isn’t thrusting anymore.
“please..don’t stop, channie..you’re almost there, need your cum..”
he starts thrusting again, fucking you closer with him, the feeling of his cock inside you and your hands on his nipples has him throwing his head back, sending electric sparks of pleasure to his cock.
“mm’fuck can’t take it- oh fuck, cumming!”
you feel chan spraying warm cum deep inside your already messy cunt. the feeling of his warmth flooding inside you is what sends you over with him, his twitching cock still prodding at your g-spot desperately.
your orgasm is strong, you close your legs shut while cumming shakily around his cock till he softly pulls it out. you both rest for a second after cumming so hard, but chan’s shy laugh breaks the silence, covering his red face.
“oh my gosh..i cannot believe i just came from that!”
you can’t believe that this is the same man that just called you his whore unprovoked. you pull him down to lay on you, resting your face in his shoulder and wrapping your legs around him. chan instantly relaxes in your arms.
“…all warmed up now?”
“mhm..chan?”
“anything, sweet girl.”
“i love you. love you so much..thank you for doing this. i know taking care of me can be alot and-“
“ah, ah. i told you to stop saying that. never. it’s never a burden to make you happy. thank you for trusting me to give you what you need. i loved you then, i love you now, and ill love you forever. if you forget, then ill always be here to remind you, ill say it over and over again each time.”
his soft, lovely words paired with your exhaustion seems to be the perfect recipe for you to fall asleep in his arms. chan just hums and strokes your hair, he loves his girl.
“goodnight, sweet girl. ill be right here when you wake up too.”
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tags!!
@estella-novella @thatonedarkskinnedsiren @theresstardustinmyblood @annafeebou @pancake-freckle @elizalabs3 @minniesverse @loxgirl2004 @mintymintmint251 @y-ur--i
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dropoutconfessions · 3 days ago
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I just want to say for the anon that said people who perceive the bias the Mismag fandom has towards Evan as being possibly racist ,are projecting because they personally have no such biases and this fandom is pretty progressive :
As nicely and non judgementally as possible- fandoms racism and bias towards white characters is a phenomenon that has been observed and remarked on in many separate fandoms, YT essays, and academic papers across many years.
(Princess Weekes has some great essays where she cites her sources bit you can also search for academic papers about racism in fandom)
You personally could have a wide range of favorite characters and yet we could also go to the ao3 /Tumblr tags for almost any fandom and we can tally how many more fanfic and fanart are produced for white characters vs. non white characters and I can guarantee you the disrepancy is going to show up more times than it's not.
(Leaving aside completely the ways in which characters of color are punished by fandoms for actions that white characters are woobified for.)
There is no audience that is immune to the biases of the culture it comes from, and quite frankly believing that an audience can be so progressive it doesn't need to ever stop and examine it's own patterns and make sure it's not being hostile to fans of color is the reason that a lot of fans of color end up being pushed out.
I'm sure it's not your intention to just dismiss the lived experiences of other members of this fandom but it's exhausting to point out a pattern of behavior your have observed time and time again, and other people in your community have observed time and time again, and people have run statistics on and written essays about, and have someone assume you're making things up to get mad at when quite frankly being mad is not a fun or enjoyable state to be in.
I believe you when you say that you have a wide variety of favorite characters, but this is a conversation about patterns in large groups of people interacting as a collective fandom. Not individual fans.
-
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Text
Online sissy training program
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amateurmasksmith · 2 days ago
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Orbits Merging
A/N: Inspired by @radioactive-dazey <3
Warnings: none, they’re just stupid. (ok it’s more accurate to say they’re just scared to disturb the status quo, but anygay-)
“I- I don’t- know,” Virgil sighed, frustrated. “I don’t know.”
Logan hummed. “May I,” he asked, “take a figurative crack at it?”
Virgil nodded and gestured accedingly.
Logan shifted the blanket on his lap to free his hands, and adjusted his glasses. “My… feelings, are…”
He sighed slightly, and his eyes shifted - dancing through the middle distance, as if he might read a more objective answer written on Thomas’ blinds across from them.
“…Complex.” He settled on.
Logan sighed more heavily this time, dropping his gaze to the blanket the two of them shared.
“Apologies, this is…” he said, clearing his throat.
Virgil lightly elbowed him. “You’re good,” he said, “I don’t get… this, either.”
“It’s like-“ Logan started again, haltingly.
“Are you familiar with,” he concentrated a moment before conjuring a sheet of paper, “this memetic format?”
He passed the page to Virgil, which showed a speech bubble on the left, with the phrase “I love you” scrawled inside it - Pointing to a stylized outline of a human head on the right, which had the ‘gesturing at a conspiracy board’ meme pasted into it.
Virgil snorted. “Yeah, that’s… yup.”
“It's… accurate,” Logan conceded, referring to the three-word phrase while fidgeting with the edge of the blanket, “It accomplishes the intended purpose.”
“But,” he continued, “It’s nowhere near the actual, complex, thoughts and feelings I have for you.”
He stood up, dropping his side of the blanket, and began to pace the living room while gesturing. “And yet! And yet! Despite knowing this, I still have tremendous difficulty describing them - I can only make progress through their negatives!”
“…Negatives?” Virgil asked.
Logan turned, pausing his pacing to momentarily face him. “Or- or, opposites - by focusing on what they aren’t, rather than what they are.”
“Oh.” Virgil said, realizing. “Like, it’s definitely not… romantic-” They both made a sound of disgust.
“-But it’s…” Virgil trailed off.
Logan sat down gently. “…It’s not …quite your standard platonic either.”
He sighed. “In many ways, I am glad telepathy does not exist,” Logan stated. “But this would certainly be an exception.”
Virgil helped Logan re-cover himself with the blanket.
“Yeah, it’s… hard. Not being able to… fully express what you mean.” He said, scratching the back of his neck as he searched for the words. “There’s… always something, some idea, some nuance, left out - Just because… brains are…”
Virgil thought for a moment.
“Bigger on the inside.”
And he could see the gears turning, Logan’s expression lifting as his eyes lit up with understanding.
“Precisely!” Logan said with a genuine smile.
Virgil couldn’t help but feel warm, a smile of his own growing as he broke eye contact.
A comfortable silence settled over them.
A few minutes passed, and Virgil wondered if he should put on the movie.
He looked over, and was just about to ask, when he noticed Logan was fidgeting with the blanket while staring off into space, holding a subtly stiff posture.
Logan was nervous.
He was just about to ask what was wrong, when Logan zoned back in, and noticed Virgil staring.
“I- I’m sorry, I zoned out for a moment.” Logan said. “Did you need something, Virgil?”
“No! No, I-” he stuttered, taken aback by the sudden question. “You just seemed nervous… You ok?”
Logan looked away. “I… have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“But- I’m…” Logan paused.
Virgil put his hand on Logan’s arm encouragingly.
Logan continued, “I’m concerned…” He took a breath. “I’m… afraid… that asking will… interfere.”
“Interfere?”
“Like a quantum superposition. Observation… interferes.”
“You… and you don’t want to change things?” Virgil asked, barely daring to breathe.
Logan’s eyes were glued to the floor in front of them.
“It’s… complex,” he said. “It’s not that I don’t want change… it’s more so that… the possible game-states are… far too open for my liking.”
It was now Virgil’s turn to fidget. “It’s the uncertainty.” Virgil twisted his hoodie string around and over and through his fingers. “If you make the wrong move… it’s game over.”
”And yet,” Logan acknowledged, “you can’t stop playing.”
“Yeah.”
Silence settled over them once more, though this one was more high-strung.
Each sat hyper aware of the other - Neither daring to move, neither daring to speak.
“I-“ “Do-“ they both started.
“Shit, sorry-” “No, no - Please, go ahead.”
Several beats.
Logan was looking at him.
Virgil’s breathing quickened as his mind raced for something, anything to say.
“DoyouknowwhataQPRis?” he blurted out before quickly shutting his mouth in surprise.
Logan blinked.
Virgil blinked.
Virgil began panicking internally.
“I-” Logan inhaled as if he’d forgotten to breathe, and summoned an index card with a familiar pink-and-yellow flag glued to the back.
He flipped it over to re-read the definition, and Virgil couldn’t help but notice how worn the card was.
“Yes, I- I do. I am familiar with the term.”
“C-cool. D’you-” he stuttered.
He cleared his throat. God, this was torture.
Virgil looked up as Logan wordlessly passed him the card.
“I- I know the definition, L, I-”
But then he read it.
In the margin, scribbled in a haphazard version of Logan’s usual neat handwriting:
‘Should tell Virgil??’
He looked back at Logan, and couldn’t help the grin that pushed its way up onto his face as the weight eased off of his chest.
“I- Yeah! God, yeah- I- I’d love to.”
Logan, for a moment, attempted to fight off his own smile - but shortly abandoned the effort, and returned Virgil’s grin.
“I… I am relieved,” Logan finally managed, posture comparatively much more relaxed.
Virgil scooted closer, and Logan leaned forward to allow him to put his arm behind his back in a couch-bound half-hug as the day’s fatigue finally set in.
Logan summoned the remote before asking Virgil, “While establishing boundaries in new relationships is very important, I-” he paused to yawn.
“Excuse me- Would it be alright with you if we postponed that discussion until tomorrow?” Logan stifled another yawn before continuing, “It’s been… an exhausting day.”
Virgil was leaning on Logan’s shoulder, already half-asleep - completely spent from the long day, and the emotional stress. He blinked slowly. “Yeah, that-” Virge yawned.
“Now you got me doing it,” he said. “Sorry, yeah, that sounds… it sounds good.”
“Excellent.”
Logan woke the television screen, and lowered the volume.
As he started the movie, he whispered over his shoulder, “I love you, Virge,” and leaned back against the couch.
A sleepy mumble returned, “Love you too, L.”
They both fell asleep before the opening credits finished.
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plusvanity · 2 days ago
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Thanks to your blog — that I discovered randomly — I got sucked into the whole Mayhem lore. 🥲 I got the general order and gist of the things (especially around the whole mythos that people build over the years) but there is one thing that I can't stop thinking and it just bothers me.
So, we all already know that Varg and Øystein start as friends, good ones at that. Varg admires Øystein meanwhile Øystein thinks they share the same vision music wise, they burn churches together, he defends him from the press (and generally TO ME, it seems like it was Ø doing the heavy lifting and all the work in this friendship but whatever) and so on; until Varg's opinion of him shifted all of a sudden: Øystein became full of flaws, or only flaws at that point, and the tension arises. Many people spoke about how they were kind of fighting for dominance of the BM scene, but really, how much is this a factoid? Yeah Varg can brag alllll he wants about how Øystein was jealous because he was becoming more popular, but to me it's more that Ø was just annoyed by his behaviour, he did not feel threatened of being 'dethroned'; it reads like a fantasy of Varg (that besides, came out of nowhere and all of a sudden in the scene meanwhile Øystein was already a well established personality). I also do not really agree on the stance that Øystein was a megalomaniac, but I'll put that aside.
Varg at a certain point says that he 'listened to a call' where Ø was talking about how he wanted (and would) kill him. Is this even true or pulled out from his ass to justify himself? I only found one source that mentions briefly that he THOUGHT about 'getting to him first' but A) he never really wanted that nor was violent and B) it was a private conversation that got out after his death, and I'm referring to Mortiis.
Either way, it does seem that Øystein was a bit preoccupied when it came to Varg. He wanted him out and most importantly, far from himself. There is also what I'll label as a rumor that Ø was agitated after hearing that one clairvoyant (sprinkle of salt). So why would he EVER open the door to him that night? It certainly was weird and he knew that Varg was dangerous, hence why, among other things, he wanted to put him in jail. And even Varg admits that Øystein was clearly uncomfortable seeing him. Would Varg have killed him even if Øystein never opened that damn door (oh, how I wish!), or would his impulsive anger cool down?
Varg and Øystein started as friends because Varg was looking up to Øystein. I have no doubt that Varg was putting up a mark at first to seem more likeable, to get closer to Øystein and eventually become relevant in the Black Metal scene since back then he was a nobody and Øystein was a well-established personality between their friends. As time progressed, Varg's admiration turned into jealousy and envy since he was an undisclosed egomaniac and wanted to have what his 'mentor' had. Their fight for dominance is not a rumor. It is a fact that led to Øystein's tragic end.
No one can blame Øystein for getting sick of Varg's bullshit and giving him the taste of his own medicine by talking badly about Varg's on his back. I believe their animosity was going back and forth because I think I'm one of the few people who believe that Øystein had a bit of an ego too, because after all he was leading a brand new music scene and he was entitled to his position. I don't necessarily think there is something bad about this because after all he was the one (together with Pelle) who built their own, unique style. Whether he really felt threatened by Vikernes or not, we can't tell for sure.
Varg will use everything in his side of the story to make people believe that he was right all along in what he did and not only that, but he even 'did the right thing' by his delusional, egoistic and envious standards, so, my suggestion is to believe anybody else but Varg. You cannot tell what is real and what is fiction, including the call that he pretends he heard. I would say (with indulgence) that 90% of what he states is pulled straight of his ass. He is a nothing but a pathological liar and that's it.
I believe that Øystein was, to a certain extent, having the thought of Varg doing 'something' against, but when all they ever did was throwing empty threats, how could Øystein be sure that this time Varg means business? He wanted Varg out of his life, that's for certain. Vikernes' actions cause him bad publicity and his shop, Helvete, to close.
Why Øystein opened the door that night, I can only speculate the most plausible answer. It was 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning and he woke up from his sleep, too tired to realize how late it must've been, and answering the door came as an automatic reflex. He didn't know who was waiting on the other side and he was surprised to see Varg there. In retrospect, Øystein would've had the chance to put up a better fight if he wasn't taken by surprise like this, but after all, Varg had a knife on him and this was the surprise element that, if you don't have an equalizer, you've already lost the fight unfortunately.
Varg must've been a madman to drive 5-6 hours in the middle of the night from Bergen to Oslo to kill. I don't think that not having that door open, you would just shrug and be like 'Well, that's it, folks. I'm going home'. No, he would've find a way to get in. It's the adrenaline that brought you there that won't allow you to leave even if you would somehow realize that what you do is gonna cost you a lot of trouble. The impulse is too strong, you can't just walk away simply.
I also wish Øystein never opened that door, but I guess we all wish that.
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hypermascbishounen · 4 months ago
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There's a deep irony in Berserk being so admired by people who really really hate what Berserk is about on an emotional level, but especially when writers want to take influence from it. Because Berserk is very strong thematically, and someone who can't acknowledge subtext is going to whiff on emulating anything good.
#And by that I mean that like many of its influences and descendants the plot is fundamentally driven by toxic gay shit lol#Listen there's just no beating around the bush here: you either understand this type of story is super emotional#That the softness and hope and love for humanity is vital connective tissue between the edgy violent dark setting#And that at its core the queerness is *central*#Or you will just end up creating something toothless and cynical with tokenizing bullshit at best#You cannot make that lightning strike twice if you're too scared to even write that shit as ACTUALLY core to the plot#You don’t have to make your shit gay to be good you just have to understand if your major influence was gay and why#So that you respect subtext and thematic writing and emotional resonance in writing in general#And maybe understand that if you also want credit for pushing the envelope you get where the real standard is#This is one of those things I see in equal measure in dudebro homophobes and supposedly progressive queers#No that wasn't “bait/delusion” it was barely subtext and if you go into writing with that attitude you're going to write shallow shit lol#I genuinely believe when people lament about reading comprehension they're actually talking about willful ignorance#Because willfull ignorance *does* cause a need to deny reality to a point where it warps your ability to understand information#Having difficulty comprehending text from a learning disability or improper teaching#Has fucking nothing on someone whose deliberately trained themselves to rationalize away anything uncomfortable#Tag rant over but this shit really is a plague and you can see it so starkly when it comes to Berserk#An undeniably respectable work from a place many envious little goblins that covet it do not actually respect
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edwardallenpoe · 5 months ago
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Hey. Just wanted to put my two cents in, like everyone else on Tumblr dot com is. (It got pretty long so putting it under a cut)
I don't really care about what you think should happen to the fandom. Like. If you are going to continue to engage in the fandom without giving Neil any sort of gain is fine. I'm personally still on the fence on what the fuck to do now. But let's not make that the whole focus, yeah? What Neil allegedly did was fucking terrible. Like. Objectively worse than what JKR did when things first came out about her. Let's forget good omens and sandman and coraline for a minute (don't care if you still engage with those things or burn your copies and remove your tattoos, let's just put it down for a minute.) and try really hard to think. Because we all hated JKR. We burned her reputation to the ground. For good reason. But we can't even decide if we hate Neil Gaiman yet? Guys. Please. We have to believe all women. Plus he's a rich fucking white dude who has admitted to using his power for gain.
And if it turns out (which this is a 8% chance) that this is all not what it seems to be, or even all of it is fabricated, and Neil is innocent, we still gotta stop worshipping this dude. This has got to be a wakeup call that he's not some Messiah. He's a human dude in power who does the same shitty things human dudes in power do.
And I get it. You want to continue to like your stories that he helped create (key-word 'helped' bc he was a part of a team with a lot of these stories, including Sir Terry Pratchett) but me personally? I would be a massive hypocrite if I metaphorically burned my Harry Potter stories to the ground and put HP fans in my DNI because of JKR but said "separate the art from the artist" with Neil Gaiman.
And this is coming from any other Good Omens fan that became way too attached to the story. Like a lot of people have said that story helped in very. Very fucking trying times. It was my rock, some days the only thing keeping me going. The fandom has been an amazing place of creativity and community and love.
But so was Harry Potter. If you think about it. If any Good Omens fans were previous Harry Potter fans you'll know just how wide spread and open and creative and deep the hp fandom was. And this may just be me misremembering because it was a couple years ago at this point (plus everything with Neil Gaiman is still such news) but because JKR was spouting rhetoric that directly harmed us (us being majority queer and poc people) we drop-kicked hp pretty fast and focused on the artist and her shittiness.
Can we have the same attitude towards Neil? Can we separate the art from the artist long enough to fucking focus on Neil? When I say separate the art from the artist I don't mean "remove artist, continue to enjoy art" I mean "remove the art and focus on the artist, and study that motherfucker". How many video essays are their out about JKR? How many books referencing her terribleness? Without giving so much as a hint to Harry Potter?
Separate the art from the artist and focus on the artist and bringing him to justice. And believe the victims.
And yeah I can see your arguments against the source of the information and who the victims went to tell their stories, I can understand those arguments, but let's look at the data, okay? Let's look at what Scarlett and K actually said with their actual words and their actual messages and separate the source from the material. What Scarlett and K talked about is scary. Terrifying. I couldn't even read more than a little bit before I got triggered. I wasn't caring about how the source podcast was talking about it. What Scarlett and K said with their own words should be enough. Make your own judgements. If you can't look at a story without being influenced by the storyteller's hidden agenda and not have critical thinking skills????? I'm sorry but that's going to be your downfall.
Or better yet, if you can't believe victims because they have political views that differ from your own (which, they probably don't. From what I can tell nobody really fucking knows what Scarlett and K's political views are but it doesn't really matter) you need to really study and look into what you mean when you call yourself a "leftist". Because it's not very progressive or helpful to not believe or help victims because of their political views. Sorry. Is that wild for me to say? Idk
Uh anyways. I don't really care what you do in your free time when it comes to enjoying the fandoms. I don't necessarily think it makes you a terribly shitty person for still engaging in it instead of burning all your Neil Gaiman stories, and also like a lot of people have said (and since I'm on the same boat) treating fans like the scum of the earth when a lot of fans have had good omens as a way to escape and has become super dependent on good omens and are justifiably horrified by everything and trying to ignore it is shitty. But I'm personally going to continue to follow this story because I care about the victims. Not because I want to be guilt-free reading a fanfic about an angel and a demon. Because I care about real life people.
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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mellotronmkll · 1 month ago
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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puhpandas · 2 months ago
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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lemongogo · 2 months ago
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#feeling so silly lawwlll walking in circles#i thnk im feeling a special type of way ..#i know i keep going on ab the samw bs and how crazy gf YEAAH UEAH WE GET IT#but i thnk in doing so im like revisiting parts of myself and writing more and i think im jst being sentimental#sooo sentimental .. so saccharine ..#everyone has been rly nice ab my art LIKE SOOOOO NICE RECENTLY#and imean people always have like im very lucky and grateful 2 be able to feel like i can share my hobby .. ^__^#but i thjnk like . to take smth that is so representational of my like . art goals and wants from a young age#ouuyyyyuuuuuyyfff T__T ooiujjjjjj#I DONT KNWWW i dont know . i dont know what im saying but i feel like i just need 2 talk abd be like hey this is so reaffirming .needs 2#i think like . bc my life turned out soo different than i imagined ive been dealing w like . a lot of hopelessness and feeling soo stuck and#stagnant and idk bad things and in a way i think like . coming back 2 something years later and being able to see progress in such a physica#physical way and to feel like more at ease and more like myself than i ever have is rly crazy and making me think long and hard abt stuff#and its all of these like . reflections im dealing w that r then padded by like some of the nicest comments and tags itslike#head in my hands /pos . grief but like ij a way happy grief#INFEEL SOOO RIDICULOUS its ridiculous it rly is IHAHAHAHAHAHA#i think its bc im turning 25 soon and thats the age i told myself id never live past iykwim which ks like crazy to drop on tmblrdotcom#but there r so many emotions tied 2 that and i think this is just one of the things^ stupid fanart ^ that makes me rly happy idk#do you know what i mean . like i feel so goofy saying it but its genuinely the connection i rly appreciate and means a lot 2 me#i feel like my ‘thank yous/i appreciate it/ means a lot’ grow tired but its soo fr every time i swear#kicking rocks or watever . i wish i cld extend my gratitude but anyways . thanks 4 reading this far if u have#ughg man and i think of the friends ive made thru this blog specifically nd my eyes r burning#sorp.. guys i love u all thank u.
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lynxfrost13 · 3 months ago
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I promised myself that if I did a solid workout today I would post HOPR lore I’m gonna be here all night 💪😭
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