#I want enough episodes I can properly binge

[yanderes-galore]

I gots more, can you do Yuji (and/or Gojo) with a darling from the real world? Or like he’s self aware?

My favorite way to write self-aware show characters is to write an entity that acts just like them. Similar to an Analog Horror I've seen (Forgot the name but if you want it, I can hunt it down) So for this, that's kinda the plot I'm working with if that's okay. So like... a Creepypasta-like thing if that's fine.

So, the plot is similar to something I've done in the past for both: You buy a DVD of JJK... but something isn't quite right as you soon learn. No plot spoilers here for JJK. Purely an AU.

Feedback is appreciated as long as it's constructive! I could probably do this with other characters if I was given ideas. Both ideas start the same but begin to differ later.

Yandere Self-Aware! Yuji Itadori + Satoru Gojo

(Analog AU - An Experimental Name?)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, "Self-Aware" yandere, Analog AU (?), Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Unrequited feelings, Delusional behavior, Kidnapping, Possessive behavior, Forced relationship.

Yuji Itadori

Yuji Itadori is your favorite character from Jujutsu Kaisen.

There's just something about his resolve and ability to find happiness despite his situation that makes you fond of him.

It's all harmless fun for you, everyone has a favorite character after all.

Although... unlike most... it appears you've been caught in something you weren't expecting.

The DVD you bought off online didn't have the best packaging... but DVDs that aren't official tend to have bootleg packaging.

You just couldn't afford a streaming service and wanted to binge the two seasons of JJK they have out.

It seemed harmless enough, who hasn't pirated or purchased a pirated DVD at some point without knowing.

Even when you watched the DVD, everything seemed the same.

You were completely unaware of something lurking deep within.

This entity, now given the name Yuji Itadori, was awoken and given life when you used the DVD.

It could sense your fondness for the character and took the likeness of him.

Everything from appearance, personality, and mannerisms was copied as the entity took a new life.

Eventually they felt they were the character and felt every bit of fondness you had for them.

That's how "Yuji Itadori" came into being.

It's when this transfer is complete that things start to alter.

It's like the DVD opens an alternate universe, one where the events of JJK are part of their very own world.

Yuji originally believed everything was real.

This was his life... until he felt your presence.

At first he's in denial, not liking the idea of being trapped somewhere.

But then he sees you.

You are someone he can't reach, someone beyond a screen he can only look at.

While you watch the events of JJK play out on your little DVD, Yuji watches you.

It's a bit ironic, until he grows strong enough and more aware, the show character watches you just as invested as you are.

Yuji can't help but fall into a delusional sense of love and care for you.

He can't help but be excited whenever he catches glimpses of you.

His obsession is vague, as he is just now learning about his love for you.

He feels he wants to protect you, yet expresses frustration when he can only watch you from a clear barrier.

You can pick up on his self-aware behavior, things like glances, waves, and times where he says your name when other characters aren't looking.

The change is slow for him, but quick for you.

His feelings and growth continues through the episodes, the time feeling like months or years for him but hours for you.

Half way through the show you notice Yuji's behavior.

You're frightened at first, but maybe a morbid curiosity fills you?

This begins with you two properly communicating.

Certain plot points are paused or lengthened all so Yuji can speak with you.

It's so strange... like you're actually speaking to a human being.

Yuji is always very affectionate when speaking with you.

Often calling you nicknames, asking questions, and providing comfort after long days.

You see him as your little digital companion, while Yuji sees you as a lot more than that.

He's the only one aware of you, the other characters seem more like puppets to Yuji so he can play a story for you.

He likes seeing you happy and does whatever he can to make you smile.

Darker behavior manifests later as Yuji begins to realize he... isn't a big part of your life.

Through the screen he can see you have friends, family, everything.

You're the biggest part of his world, but he's the smallest part of yours.

As this DVD has supernatural capabilities (clearly), perhaps Yuji would pull you into his world once he fears he can lose you.

The next time you get to watch JJK, Yuji greets you.

"Hey! I've been preparing a surprise for you..."

Curious, you go to ask what it is...

Only to pass out.

By the time you wake up, you're not in your world anymore.

You wake up in a dorm, clearly not your room.

As you wake up, you jump back when you see Yuji kneeling beside you.

"Great! It did work!" He chirps happily, eyes closed with a smile on his face.

You go to ask what happened, only for Yuji to hold your hands.

"I brought you to my world! You mean a lot to me... plus, here I can shape this world to anything you want."

Yuji pulls you closer, closer to the point you can see a red glint in his eyes.

"I love you... and I just want to make you happy." Yuji vows, the confession innocent despite the situation.

"We'll make this our own little world."

"I want to go home!" You cry, confusing Yuji.

"Why would you ever want to leave...?"

Yuji asks, pulling you close.

"You'll be so happy here..." Yuji murmurs, eyes giving off a dull red glow.

"You won't ever want to leave... you won't ever leave me again."

From that point on, you live in an artificial world.

You and Yuji are the only ones "real" here.

Now he's the most important thing in your life, just like you are to him.

Satoru Gojo

Satoru Gojo is your favorite character from Jujutsu Kaisen.

There's just something about his playful/cocky attitude and perhaps even his looks that makes you fond of him.

It's all harmless fun for you, everyone has a favorite character after all.

Although... unlike most... it appears you've been caught in something you weren't expecting.

The DVD you bought online didn't have the best packaging... but DVDs that aren't official tend to have bootleg packaging.

You just couldn't afford a streaming service and wanted to binge the two seasons of JJK they have out.

It seemed harmless enough, who hasn't pirated or purchased a pirated DVD at some point without knowing.

Even when you watched the DVD, everything seemed the same.

You were completely unaware of something lurking deep within.

This entity, now given the name Satoru Gojo, was awoken and given life when you used the DVD.

It could sense your fondness for the character and took the likeness of him.

Everything from appearance, personality, and mannerisms was copied as the entity took a new life.

Eventually they felt they were the character and felt every bit of fondness you had for them.

That's how "Satoru Gojo" came into being.

It's when this transfer is complete that things start to alter.

It's like the DVD opens an alternate universe, one where the events of JJK are part of their very own world.

Due to how Gojo is, he'll probably learn that his world isn't real faster than Yuji.

He'll learn that things aren't as they seem, that those around him are merely puppets for him to use.

At first he's a bit hurt... yet now he's curious.

He only gets more intrigued when he learns of your presence.

While you watch him through the screen, he watches you.

You always look so happy when he plays his part on screen, playing his role through the events of his world.

Gojo still plays along, even as he grows increasingly obsessive about you.

He just knows you two are different.

It only annoys him when he's kept from you by a clear barrier, looking at you through your TV or monitor as you watch him.

He's strong... but not strong enough to have you, it seems.

To him, it feels like his obsession has gone on for years.

For you? It feels like hours.

You're just happy to watch one of your favorite shows...

Completely unaware of your favorite character fantasizing about finally meeting you.

That is until Gojo decides enough is enough... and makes his presence known.

"Oi! Can you hear me?"

He makes contact with you by pausing events in the story and waving to the screen.

Maybe similar to the Yuji portion you're overcome with morbid curiosity more than fear.

Which leads to you feeding into Gojo's obsession by speaking with him.

Due to having his world under his control, Gojo's capable of pausing or slowing down events in the story to speak with you.

He alters things to entertain you and often speaks to you.

You end up spending more time speaking to him than watching the show normally.

You learn that Gojo is very playful with you.

He often waves, makes heart shapes with his hands, and winks at you.

He likes to say your name to mess with you and does his best to press himself closer to the screen so you can touch it.

It disturbs you that the screen is often... warm when he touches it.

Gojo's usually always playful with you until he begins to realize the truth.

He loves you, more than anything he loves you.

His little world would feel lonely without you.

His whole purpose is to entertain you, to make a good story for you and keep you company.

He lives for you.

Yet he notices you have others around you...

You have friends, family, perhaps even a lover.

He's only a little part of your life... and it upsets him greatly.

Gojo tries to hide his hurt from you as he watches you chat with others.

He wants nothing more than to have you all to himself in this little world of his...

When he grows stronger... he can.

It's ironic for Gojo to need to be "stronger".

In his world, he's the strongest.

Yet he takes time to grow more in order to have you.

He won't have to worry about your lover or anyone afterwards.

"I have something to show you~!"

His voice is in a purr when you go to speak with him again.

"Here's my gift... you know I just want to make you happy..."

You begin to feel woozy, slumping over.

"You know I just want to make you mine."

By the time you wake up, you're in a room you don't recognize.

Only for Gojo to show up with a grin.

"Yo!" He chirps, ignoring the fear in your eyes. "I did pretty good, right? You're in my world now... but I can change anything I want to make it the best for you."

He's so giddy about having you beside him.

In here, he doesn't have to worry about those close to you.

He has everything under control... and you in his arms.

"What's with the look? Come on, where's my hug?" He pouts, pulling you against him even if you struggle.

"You'll get used to it..." Gojo whispers, a kiss placed on your forehead.

"I exist to please you..." Gojo whispers, kissing your cheek.

"This is our world now... I'll never let you leave me now that I've got you."

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Gmmtv 2025

So now, that I have time, I'm actually gonna sit and watch the trailers properly. Let's go.

Dare You to Death - The plot is appealing to me, the cast is interesting. I was never a JD fan so if I decide to watch it will be for all the ensemble and the actual plot.

Head 2 Head - My babies! Forced cohabitation my beloved. I'm gonna pretend I didn't see the vision thingy cause other than that this just seems like a cute bl, and I'm here for that.

Burnout Syndrome - OffGun in a love triangle? Gun being fought over by two men just has god intended? I am so seated for this!

Whale Store xoxo - MilkLove is back and I wanna like this one. It seems cute, and drama light. I'll probably be tuning in.

Only Friends - Dream On - The chill that came down my spine when the song started playing. I left my body. With that said, and like I said before, EarthMix is here, so who am I kidding? I will watch. Kinda surprised to see JossFluke already paired in another bl, before the first one has even started airing. OhmLeng was predictable as a recurring pair and I'm always here for Ohm. Leng has a lot to prove being surrounded by all these names.

That Summer - MOND! Mond kissing boys! That's it.

My Romance Scammer - Not in a million years did I think we would get this OhmFluke combo. Dimples is back kissing boys and Ohm is just back. And MarkJunior seem to be here to stay. Also, I love that since we got gay marriage we should immediately tackle gay divorce. Sounds good.

Melody of Secrets - I'm glad they're back playing adults although the dynamic seems to be the same. I wish they changed it up and let Book be the pursuer. I like the horror elements and we don't get enough of those but I don't know about this one.

Love You Teacher - The first half of this trailer had me. I love Perth and he's playing a grown up so I was sold. And then it happened. And I don't know how I feel about any of it.

MU-TE-LUV - I guess we're getting this and not OurSkyy3. Will watch the queers and the rest we'll see.

Cat for Cash - This is just rude. Do they know that cats are my ultimate weakness? I can't watch all these shows, but a show with talking cats? multiple of them?? C'mon. I'm not even gonna pretend to be torn about this one. I will be watching.

Girl Rules - So, Only Friends but make it sapphic. I'm sad to say, I'll probably pass on this one.

Boys In Love - PAPANG!!! The rumours were true and he's paired with Pod in this. All I saw in this trailer was that and the dimples. Who is that kid? Cause he's adorable. This is the obligatory high-school bl, it looks soft and fluffy. Might check it out.

My Magic Prophecy - I will be skipping this one.

A Dog and a Plane - What a mess of a trailer. But do I care? Not even a little. It's TayNew so I'll be watching with bells on.

Me and Thee - This show will be the true test of how shallow I can get. Will I start a show because Est was wearing glasses in the trailer? Only future me will know. Look, PondPhuwin can play, we know this, but I don't know if I want another show with them so soon. At least they're playing different roles, so there's that.

Wu - Who was saying this wasn't bl? Did you not see the golden thread? And the fate talk? And the looks? And well, everything? It's a bl. I don't know about this one mostly because I don't know the actors. Although tumblr is doing its job well and I'm this close to binging the frenemies show so maybe I'll reevaluate.

Memoir of Rati - I am so easy, it's embarrassing honestly. They so pretty, the scenery is so pretty, historical bl. Sold!

Ticket To Heaven - So many flashbacks to catholic school. It looks good, which doesn't surprise considering it's Aof. I'm glad GeminiFourth are back playing more serious roles. I am really intrigued by this one but also don't trust it completely for some reason. I don't know yet.

Yeah, I'm a sucker. I will be watching most of the first episodes of this line up in like a year when they actually get made. Probably not gonna stick with a lot of them but we'll see. As it's becoming obvious, I'm easy.

Also just a fun fact I guess, and as @lurkingshan as said here, with these shows, 4 couples will hit 5 series as a pair. OffGun, FirstKhao, ForceBook and EarthMix, even though that last one I'm counting Ossan's Love which is also not released yet.

And another thing, of the Gmmtv 2024 QL shows, 7 have yet to premiere. Thame Po, will premiere December 13 but the other six don't have dates yet. They are : My Golden Blood, Ossan's Love, The Ex-Morning, Us, Sweet Tooth Good Dentist and Revamp. So yeah, we're not gonna see any of these new shows anytime soon. Although I'm putting my money on the OffGun series being one of the first to premiere in this line up.

All the trailers and posters for gmmtv2025 can be found here.

[reigraceee]

Notes from a first-time severance viewer: Woe's Hollow edition

aka: a day one Mark x Helly shipper goes on the biggest emotional rollercoaster of the season

part one / prev part / sev notes tag

So basically, what I've been doing is sharing my experience and notes from going into Severance blind. And if you know anything about my thoughts on previous episodes, you'd know that I'm a huge fan of Mark and Helly. So. This was a wild episode for me.

Now, unfortunately because I was binge-watching, I never took a moment to reflect and realize that Helly was not actually the Helly I knew. So... the reveal in this episode absolutely killed me lol.

Obviously, my experience is different because I got to binge the season, and thus I'd like to know what other people thought of the episode! Let me know what you thought watching Woe's Hollow in the notes!

^While the whole show has elicited a lot of confusion from me, this ep was the most wild lol. This was the first time the innies were getting to experience the outdoors (not counting the OTC) which is cool, but I wish they explored that more. Then again, there was enough going on in this episode.

^*insert meme of the monkey looking away awkwardly*

I genuinely (and this is embarrassing to admit because I'm pretty aromantic and spend a lot of time complaining about how there's too much romance in media) spent the first few episodes of s2 just waiting for Mark and Helly to kiss lol. What can I say? They're special to me. Partly because I see a lot of myself in them, but Severance kind of was/is the markhelly show to me, especially on first watch. Now of course I love all of Severance and I've since taken time to rewatch and digest everything so that I can properly appreciate other aspects, but I just love Mark and Helly so much and they were forefront in my mind lol.

^turns out the actors were actually filming outdoors which must have been a fun change in scenery lol

^I think I typed this down when Irv was creeping and watching Mark and Helly from behind a tree or something weird like that, idk. I think at this point I'd noticed enough of Helly's odd behavior to be suspicious of her, although I hadn't really stopped to put it all together. I *do* remember wondering if Lumon did something to change her or if there was another influence at play, but I never seriously considered that Helly was actually Helena.

The difference between binge watching and waiting weeks at a time, is that instead of trying to answer questions with theorizing and reflecting, I just tried to move forward as much as possible to find out what happens next lol. So, my experience was definitely way different than those who spent months digesting and growing a relationship with the show.

^You know what? First of all, I called it. Second of all, I still want to know where Miss Huang and Mr. Milchick went! It really keeps me up at night, the way they just disappeared.

^*insert meme of the monkey looking away awkwardly*

This was the scene where she went to visit Irving in his tent. I was basically yelling at the scream for Helly to tell Irving that she was an Eagan in my blissful ignorance.

Also, I was really puzzled by this scene. I remember thinking "Would Helly make a snow animal?" because while it was really cute and all, it really felt out of character. Not out of character in a bad way (like the way she suddenly turned into a gaslighted) but just in a way that felt a little off.

Anyways, thankfully the real Helly isn't a gaslighter, because I was getting really frustrated with her in these first few episodes. It felt like a character assassination, and I was really confused lol.

^Ok but seriously!! I got the impression that the book was supposed to be about the two brothers but then the twin got killed off in chapter two! I just want to know how much wilder the plot could get please.

^*insert meme of the monkey looking away awkwardly*

Why did I even say that?? My goodness, I'm dead lol

I guess because I was getting evil vibes from Helly? Which I mean if I'd just thought about it for a second more maybe...

^This is sad, but I got really excited lol. The realization I had later was the BIGGEST letdown. I was just trying to ignore the signs and root for these two smh. And it was an especially big deal for me to be so excited, because (like I said before) I usually hate romance plots. These two were so specially to me and I just wanted it to be real lol

^I was getting so bothered by Helly and I could not with her lying. I felt like I was trying SO HARD to be team Mark x Helly and Helly was ruining it by being a little liar. I guess I just thought Helly was ashamed and needed to talk things out. But now that I know the difference between Helly and her outie, I really don't think Helly could ever be this bothered by things. Not in this way at least. Helly is headstrong and upfront. Whenever she has a problem, she's always quick to express it. Helly's honestly a really great communicator.

^See, besides my annoyance with Helly lying, I also feared that their relationship was doomed because of the reintegration. I was pretty much just trying to get what I could before it all completely fell apart lol

^me crashing out, still completely oblivious, while Irving was figuring it out lol

^So the fun part of binge-watching things is that reveals hit you right over the head. I mean I felt that. When Mark gets all piss-y in the next couple of episodes, I totally understood because I experienced the same grief firsthand lol. I mean truly, I gasped so hard I had to take a few moments to catch my breath again. It all came crashing down on me so hard. It was like this revelation of "Oh! of course!" with a sprinkle of extra confusion because I didn't understand what Helena was trying to achieve. I mean, to this day I'm still trying to decipher what her game is, but it was extra confusing then.

^I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN UNTIL I WASN'T

At this point I was just very broken hearted because all the progress I was waiting for in Mark and Helly's relationship was just thrown away. I was certain my ship was dead lol. Also, I guess I was too devastated to notice that they killed Irving, because I was really confused as to what happened to him when I started the next episode. I owe him a formal apology.

I'm sorry Irving. You knew better than I did. My feelings for them kept me from seeing objectively. I'm ashamed I couldn't figure out that my favorite character got replaced by her evil twin :'(

Personally, I think this is one of my favorite episodes (if not THE favorite). The reveal was really cool for me, and it was really fun to watch the mystery of why Helly was acting weird unfold. Theorizing is fun and all, but there's something about the whiplash I experienced this episode that I wouldn't trade for any other experience lol.

[hrshlandfunkypics]

So, Konya Sukiyaki Dayo, yes?

After having watched Koisenu Futari, I heard about this series also having an aroace character in it, and I thought that damn, I have to watch that.

Once I finished battling demons and finally got the help of an angel to find it, I binge-watched the series in two days, since there's only twelve episodes. And boy, is it different than Koisenu Futari.

Unfortunately, I went into the series due to the previous jdrama about an aroace character, and as such I didn't enjoy it as much as I could've.

SO, did I like Konya Sukiyaki Dayo? I will have to say yes, despite the previous statement.

One main thing was that the hype around this series was the aroace character, so I was expecting the series to focus much more on that aspect that it turned out to be. The mention of aromanticism was done once in the first episode, and only mentioned aromanticism without asexualism. There was, however hints about it when Tomoko mentioned that she'll never be a mother, but this might also just be derived from the fact that if she didn't love romantically then she wouldn't marry and therefore there was no children in perspective.

Putting all of that aside, it is, in itself, a very good series.

We not only have two women lead, but they also try to understand each others and how to go around their lives in order to get the best of it. The beautiful aspect of helping each others, especially through food, is a huge part in what drives those twelve episodes. While one of them is given better tools to be able to have fun, the other is given solace from the fact that she still gets to eat properly without ruining herself.

Another aspect, which I really like as a queer person is how both of them ends up developing a strong platonic relationship, strong enough to resemble a Queer Platonic Relationship in some aspects, even if there is no clear words put on it.

Furthermore, the show also gives us respectful relationships between the characters, albeit not without a few hiccups here and there.

First and foremost, we have Ota and Tomoko, who live together, but none of them pushes the other out of her comfort zone. Ota doesn't bother Tomoko with how she should date, and Tomoko doesn't stop Ota from venting and sharing her love. They don't fully understand each others on that specific point, but they respect each other about it. There is also Ota and her boyfriend/husband, the latter, while not really understanding what this is all about, still listens and tries to do his best for both of them. The question of the last name have them talk in earnest about it, but what was really important to their relationship is the meeting they have with each others family. Facing the usual societal demands of heterosexual marriage was hard, but when he noticed that she wasn't comfortable, he not only gave her an outlet so she could express what she wanted, while also giving her control of the situation and putting an end to the parental mess. Finally, we have Tomoko and her friend who are just that, showing once more than a man and a woman can be just friend and like each other as such without anything else.

All in all, while being vastly different from Koisenu Futari on many points, it is still very similar when talking about different kinds of love, how to be a family and more importantly, how to be kind with yourself.

I would recommend this series, not for the similarities with Koisenu Futari, but because it is once again showing respect towards queer people and those who do not want to fit in the mold.

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

The Guest. - one

Jack Dawkins x reader. Completed 25 parts fic masterlist

Request: Hey! I have an amazing idea! How about a Jack Dawkins x doctor!reader story, and yes I would like her to be a sick person (same sickness as Belle) and she was finding a cure for herself, but she is from the future, like in the 2000s, if you want it to be 2023 or 2024, and she somehow cam to the 1850s and she and Jack gradually fell in love and a bit of jealous Jack because Sneed also fell in love with her, not Belle but she doesn't like him. And She is close friends with Belle, who is also trying to help in finding the cure for her and the reader and Belle got a job in the hospital together, she got taken in by Belle's father since she didn't have a home in the 1850s. You can write in the beginning that the reader only watched like 5 episodes of the Artful dodger and didn't know the cure yet. Thank you! (This is a long description 😂)

Sitting alone in your small studio apartment you flick off your TV after almost fully binge watching a new show. Your work friend had recommended it after finding out you were a Dickens fan. At first you weren't sure, could they really do it justice yet here you were five episodes in and hooked. Unfortunately you had to go to work. You had a night shift at the local hospital. Night shifts for you often felt easier, not the work exactly; there were always new patients coming in and out of the emergency room. As a doctor you were no stranger to blood and gore and all the strange things people did to each other. You pull your hair up into a messy bun at the top of your head and glance over to your clock.

"Oh shit!" You say grabbing your purse and running out the door. If you didn't go now you'd be late, and honestly you couldn't afford another late on your record. Your boss was already looking for a reason to fire you. Jumping in your car you speed out of the parking garage below the building. The roads were fairly clear for a Friday night, eerily empty. Sure you lived out in the middle of nowhere Australia but this was almost extreme. The tarmac below your wheels was wet, yesterday another unusual thing for mid summer. You mostly ignore the strangeness as you drive, taking your eyes off the road to flick your radio on. When you look back a fog starts to roll in, low to the ground at first, growing steadily until you can hardly see in front of you.

There is a rush of thundering steps charging and you see a great herd of horses speed past you.

"What the-?" You start to say when all your thoughts are stopped. Something large and black had hit the side of your car sending you spinning off the road. The car comes to a stop. Your hands are clenched around the steering wheel. You grab at your chest feeling the tightness there.

"No, not now." It had been a long time since you had felt any pain in your chest. In fact you had been a child when you had your first operation. There had always been a possibility of it coming back as you got older but at only twenty six you didn't think it would be yet. Needing to get air into your lungs you unclip your seat belt and fall out of the car.

The fog was thick and it caught in your throat.

"What is that?" You say out loads to yourself. Coming closer you hear something hard rolling quickly toward you. A large black shadow looming out of the fog. Unable to see properly you don't have enough time to move when the shadow hits you hard, sending you flying to the ground.

A hand is patting your face and you finally look up. It's bright daylight and a woman is knelt beside you, her big, fluffy pink dress is what you notice first.

"My gosh, are you okay?" She asks frantically, "Father we must get her to the hospital." You recognise something about that voice.

"Yes my dear, let's get her in the carriage." An older man with large, white sideburns agrees. Between the two of them they lift you up to your feet and into the carriage.

"What happened?" You ask, fighting the dizziness.

"We hit you with our carriage I'm afraid." The man said, "we may have broken your arm, my dear."

Finally acknowledging your pain you look down at your arm and the strange way it bends.

"hmm yes it looks like it could be a hairline fracture of the Radius bone." You say looking at the shape and swelling of your arm.

"Oh Father, she talks just like Belle." The woman laughed. That name caught your attention and you look back to the fluffy woman.

"Lady Fanny?" You ask.

"Oh you know me?" She says excitedly.

"That makes you Governor Fox?" You say turning the older man. He nods with a smile.

"And who might you be?" Fanny asks.

"Oh um I'm y/n." You say. "I don't understand, how am I here?" You ask them.

"well we put you in here." She answers you a laugh.

"No, no I mean, how am I...this makes no sense at all." You look out of the window and see a bustling town all around you. "Port Victory? Stop the carriage!" You shout to the driver. He pulls at the horse's reins slowing them to stop. You climb out and find yourself surrounded by men in frock coats and women in large dresses. The heat beats down on you and you're sure you had to be dreaming.

"Come on now miss, let's get you back into the carriage!" governor Fox called over to you. You shake your head, still turning around yourself to take it all in. At the exact moment you were turning back toward the carriage a hard body hits into yours, sending both you tumbling to the floor once more. You call out in pain and grab at your arm.

"I'm so sorry, miss, let me help you up." The cheeky English voice says. Your momentarily blinded by the sun above you only able to feel the strong arms pulling you off the ground.

"Your arm looks bad let me, take you inside." You know that voice.

Focusing your eyes you look up into the deep brown ones in front of you.

"Jack Dawkins." You whisper.

He grins down at you.

"So you've heard of me? Come along then, I'll get you all fixed up." He says guiding you towards the hospital, "shall I ask the nurses for some clothes for you, miss?"

"What?"

"Well, you uhhh you appear to be in your...well you aren't in a dress." Jack stumbles.over his words. You look down at your denim jeans and small white t-shirt.

"Oh, right." Eyes shifting around you see the way people are looking at you and feel utterly exposed. Jack led you into a small private room where he helped you sit on the bed.

"Okay let's have a look." He takes your hurt arm and pulls it towards him gently, "Yes, it's definitely broken. It doesn't seem so bad though." He says.

"A hairline fracture I'd say. We should get a scan on it just to be sure." You say.

"A what?" His eyes narrow in on you.

"Oh, I'm, nothing it needs a, um a splint, right?" You ask trying to recall how medicine worked in the 1800s. Jack studied you with curious eyes.

"Doctor, do you need anything?" Hetty pops her head through the door.

"Ahh yes, please could you get miss...uhh" he looks back at you,

"y/l/n" you announce.

"Yes Miss y/l/n some clothing, please." The nurse nods her head and disappears out of the room. Jack turns back to you and checks your arm once more.

"Yes a splint, very good. How did you...no it's alright I'll be right back." He follows Hetty out the door leaving you alone. Looking around the room you try to make sense of what was happening. This had to be a dream, right. You didn't fall through some magic fog and end up in the middle of TV show. Either way you figured it would be best if you didn't tell anyone where you were really from. The future seemed a bit crazy and could wind you in a jail cell rather than being helped.

When Jack came back into the room he was carrying a small pile of clothes and medical equipment.

"um, the nurses are all busy, would it be okay if I helped you to um, get dressed?" He asked sheepishly.

"Sure, I won't be able to do it myself." You admit. He straps up your arm, a thin wooden plank on top and bottom with a white linen bandage wrapped around your arm. Jack cut the sleeve the grey dress and helped you to step into it. He pulls it up so you can slide your arms into it, material is surprisingly soft but worn. Jack is careful with your broken arm and begins to button the front.

"Thank you for this." You say in a quiet voice.

"Of course. How did you get hurt?" He asks.

"Oh a carriage, um, Governor Fox's carriage." You say, still not fully sure what happened yourself.

"And he just left you?" Annoyance flashed across his face.

"No, god no. He was bringing me here but I was too curious, I guess." You laugh.

Just as you were speaking you hear Edmund Fox talking in the corridor with the nurses.

"She is just in here with the Doctor, sir." Hetty knocks and opens the door, "The Governor is here for the lady."

"Ahh there you are, well how are we doing?" Fox asks.

"A simple break, Governor. Miss Y/l/n will be fine with a few weeks rest, the bone will repair itself." Jack explained. Fanny came darting in to your side.

"Oh, thank the lord you're okay." She said grabbing you as if you were old friends, "where are you staying?" She asks.

"umm,"

"I insist you stay with us for the duration of your recovery." Fox said very matter-of-factly. You shake your head.

"I couldn't do that-" you begin to protest.

"It is a good place to recover, miss." Jack cuts you off, "I will visit you there on my rounds, to check on your healing." He smiled.

You think for a moment, realising you were changing the course of events already. Though ultimately you agree and follow the Fox's out of the hospital and back into the carriage.

Jack watched as you walked away.

"Strange one, she is." Hetty remarked standing beside him.

"She's remarkable, knew exactly what was wrong with her arm, but you aren't wrong there is something odd about her." He mused.

"Red was looking for you, said there is a card game tonight on the ship." Hetty told him.

At Government house you stood in the parlour with Fanny and Belle, Smales sat at the table.

"We'll take you to the seamstress tomorrow. She has a few dresses we can have fitted to you immediately." Fanny chatted away.

"I appreciate it, Fanny, but I don't have any money to pay for dresses." You say.

"Oh, none of that. Miss y/l/n. We did you a grave service today. It would be our pleasure to ensure your stay here be as pleasant as possible. Think nothing of any cost." Edmund spoke up from his chair, their dog sat on his lap. You thank him then turn to Belle.

"Lady Belle, have you been to the hospital at all?" You ask trying to keep yourself as neutral as you could.

"No I have not, though I would like to." She sighed.

"Oh we will have to get you a dress for the ball tomorrow night." Fanny clapped happily.

"your ball is tomorrow?" You ask, realisation dawning on you. "I'm sorry I need to go somewhere." You jump up and run for the door.

As always let me know what you think of this one.

Comment, like, reblog etc

PT 2

@fandomfan-102

[aliceisathome]

Time for My Stand In - I'm ready with things nearby to grab depending on how traumatised/angry/sad I am. Currently we have a G&T, some chocolate, a punchable stuffie and some ice cream within reach. There's tequila in the kitchen if none of these work.

So here we are, new house and helper for mum to be paid for by spending a year doing whatever Ming demands, which is immediately sex of course. But Joe doesn't realise that Ming's concentrating on his back not because he's trying to replace Tong now, but because he's trying to replace Joe. Joe's a stand in for himself the poor sod.

It's interesting that Ming can't bring himself to have sex with New Joe though. It's guilt, yes, but also because he never really had sex with Old Joe - in his mind he was always having sex with Tong . In trying to get New Joe to stand in gor Old Joe, sex isn't going to work - what he misses and loved is , well, JOE. it's the companionship, the cooking together, sleeping together and just being together. It's the lights on when you get home and the smell of cooking. Does the spoilt, manipulated prince realise that yet? He might be getting a clue this episode though.

Also my brain hurts

I like Ming's green bedding. In fact I like all the green teal in his condo - the man's got good taste in furnishings if nothing else. Did he get them to redecorate his hotel room to match? Wouldn't surprise me - he's the sort of person who'd put that in his rider. I must go and see what @respectthepetty says about the colours in this.

So - Ming isn't going to realise that New Joe is Old Joe because he thinks OG Joe is still alive but he's suspicous. It could be that Ming won't let go of the fantasy that old Joe will come back to him until they find the body* Wut might guess soon though. And Sol, if Ming hasn't ripped his head off after he sees the music vid.**

OH they pretended that Tong did his own stunts for that first movie in all the press. OK, I get why Ming didn't put two and two together now.

Enter the bastard Tong. Man, he's a piece of work - jealous of Ming paying attention to another man (AGAIN) plus now he wants money from him as well. Don't do it Ming! Loved that he was too distracted by Tharn & Joe to listen properly. Still, I think he's beginning to see through Tong - especially when he won't acknowledge his culpability in Old Joe's death/disappearance. Loved his slightly weary dismissal of him as well.

Tharn - nope. Don't like him one little bit. He can join Tong in the Pit of Despair. They are both manipulative bastards.

All the flashbacks made me sad, especially the watch. And now I'm feeling sorry for Ming even though he's been a bastard and a fool because, well, he was twisted into that by Tong.

Gah - I can't wait for next Friday. The preview implies that the psychic might let Ming know that Joe's soul is in a new body but I think it's Sol's voice at the end. I don't think Ming knows enough to stake out Old Joe's parent's graves. This is why I try to save to binge watch.

Anyhow, the stuffie took some damage points whenever Tong or Tharn were on screen and the gin is gone. Could be worse, and I'm sure it will be at some point. This bloody show has me in its grip.

*I get it Ming, I hope his comatose body is being looked after and worshipped by jungle creatures and he'll get it back. Mainly because Poom's SO cute.

**for the love of the sweet baby jeebus if you're going to cast someone as a Kpop star at least get someone who can sing or use someone else's voice.

[iguessitsjustme]

I Saw You In My Dream Ep 12 Thoughts

I have been horrendously overstimulated all day, insane things are happening at work (god bless my coworkers fr), and my voice is still iffy (though it’s slowly but surely coming back god bless) so this liveblog will likely be a mess. It will probably be awhile before I liveblog week to week again. I prefer doing this with a binge. ANYWAY. Under the cut:

I have to be really honest with you guys, I enjoyed this show. I liked it a lot. But I am also extremely happy that this is the last episode. I think this show probably should have been 10 episodes instead of 12.

The dreams are hereditary. I never would have guessed. Wait. Can you guys tell when I’m being sarcastic? Does my tone come across in my written words?

Why does every car in the world have squeaky brakes today I don’t understand. Also I bet you guys don’t know I have the world’s lamest superpower related to cars. One cookie for anyone who can guess what it is.

Has this been the OST the entire time? I don’t think this is the OST. I’ve been skipping it but this isn’t right. I dislike when shows do this. Well that’s not true. But it needs to be done well and this wasn’t. This implies either a significant tone shift in the episode from the rest of the show that is disingenuous OR it means that the episode is not going to match the new tone the OST is setting and either way it is a disservice to the show. If they wanted to shift the tone, it should have been properly building up to it since episode 1. And if there isn’t a significant tone shift, the OST should have remained the same. Way to not have faith in your theme song. This is disappointing to me on so many levels. And I want to reiterate again that I really enjoy this show. But now I’m more apprehensive that the finale is going to be a let down. I hope it won’t be.

Ai’s dad just going along with it. Do we know that he knows about the dreams? Does he know? Is he just rolling with it? My man. Love that man actually. 

Noisy sidewalk people go away.

Okay but why did Yu park like that. Boy. Clearly you’re blocking cars. There are empty spaces. Goodness.

Idk. I feel like this could very easily be solved by just like..asking someone that’s walking around if they’ve seen Yu. There are people everywhere and we’re being sneaky about looking for Yu why? Just say you need to talk to him. I do not understand.

Ice has got to be the stupidest villain to ever villain. My guy. My dude. There are so many people and Ai isn’t even the one you want. You’re just gonna be violent in front of so many witnesses.

Now everyone just stand there and watch Ai hang on for dear life. No one try to help. No one get ready to run up to catch him or slip away to maybe go up here to help. No one do anything like that. No one pull out a phone and call the cops. Or call an ambulance to come before it’s even needed.

I am doing my best to understand the variety and severity of the injuries going on here. They all need a sling or a wheelchair or a neck brace? All of them????

Is this a fucking pillow product placement? They didn’t even TRY with this one did they?

Hahahahaha sucks to suck. Kiss when you’re better I guess. (perhaps I’m in a bit of a grumbly and mean mood tonight. I love them but I laugh at their suffering)

Okay it is going way to fast past all of these pictures of Ai. Not enough lingering time and not enough pictures to explain the speed.

There wasn’t enough actual development into Yu finding and achieving his dream for it to be this significant of a presence in the final episode.

At least there’s a reason for this Christmas carol. One of them is off key though.

The fireworks were a bit much.

Okay. So I can go into what I think the show did wrong and clearly I did mention some earlier but instead I want to talk about some of the things I think the show did right: I love how big of a role Ai’s parents had. That was a close knit family through and through and they were loving and supportive even to their adopted family. Speaking of his parents, I want to give a huge shout out to how this show handled their Christianity. I grew up in the church. My dad is a pastor. Two of my grandparents are pastors. And while I am no longer religious, it was a huge part of my childhood and the way Ai’s parents acted towards everyone was fully representative of how I was personally taught we should behave as Christians. Ai’s mom and my mom are very similar actually. Same with Ai’s dad and my dad but I genuinely can’t get into that. I think that was handled very well. I don’t know if it was purposeful or by accident but I loved how that was done.

I loved that once the couples got together, they stayed together. Even when tested, Ai trusted Yu. Even when it was hard, he trusted Yu. Yo and Ing were also very cute (do I have issues with them, yes, but overall they were cute). I ended up really liking Yu’s ex. I don’t feel like the flashbacks earlier in the show worked for me because they made her seem like an entirely different person. But I’m getting into my criticisms and I said I wouldn’t. I’m glad she’s free from Ice and she needs to get her own GL I think. I would watch something with that character as a lead because she is compelling and interesting. Just please god give her a plot that the writers remember to keep up with.

That’s it. I’m done. I hope y’all enjoyed my ramblings. I think I need to go to bed now though. See you all in my dreams (see what I did there? ...I'll see myself out)

[behold-cyaegha]

Jumped on the Markiplier Edge of Sleep <- QCODE/Regency Productions trying to screw him over watch-a-thon mostly because I want to see a live-action Iron Lung and had the time to do so. I don’t know shit about Markiplier and haven’t ever watched his channel and I’ve never listened to the Edge of Sleep podcast before. I was just mildly pissed off enough by what I read the production companies where putting him through - and in the right mood to start a new show - that I bandwagoned and binged it tonight.

And Jesus H. Chuddley Frog. This show is amazing.

SPOILERS UNDER CUT

It’s weird. It’s trippy. The intro is fucking stop motion combined with - I dunno - 1940s dance music or something. There’s cults and monsters and flying whales?!?

Mark is really good at subtle emotion exploding into extreme emotion. All the cast is great, actually. The main 4 characters are really well written individuals that initially read like stereotypes and then start to get fleshed out as we follow them -> and they’re played by really good actors who put real emotion into these characters. The side characters also feel real, get you attached, and some are incredibly unique in a wild and even fun way.

The sets and makeup and practical effects are excellent. None of that “toss some CG at it in post” shit that often happens. Both the fantastical make up and the more mundane are totally believable as happening in this universe.

One of the central conceits of the story is that the main cast hasn’t slept in a long time and that actually shows. Shadows grow under their eyes. Their lips begin to chap. They sweat. They become pale. These are all things that a lot of big budget movies forget to add to so-called sleep deprived characters.

And the actors also show the sleep deprivation in dynamic detail!

As a life long insomniac who needs medical intervention for so much as a nap, I was really there with these characters on the last leg of their journey. Especially Matteo. Fuck knows there have been times where I absolutely should not have been driving and had to implement all sorts of strategies to keep focused.

And the continuous story surprises! You think you know where the story is going and you’re wrong! You think a scene is going to be mundane and it’ll pull the rug right out from under you!

Man, I am invested in this. I want to know where this is going! About the only thing I don’t like is that the episodes are only 20 minutes long and a “season” is six episodes. At least Sherlock gave us ~1.5 hours per episode for that kind of season count! (Can you tell how long it’s been since I routinely watched tv? It’s been a while.)

And the running theory on QCODEs bullshit is that they plan on intentionally sinking it and writing it off as a tax break. So… you know, no reason two. No Iron Lung because they stipulated the success of this project for backing Mark’s IL project. Oh, and they also had the fucking nerve to not even name him properly in the credits?! Like, he’s the actor for the main character and they’ve got his YouTube handle up there rather than his name. Now, maybe that’s what he wanted but it reads as an insult to a lot of people, including me.

Either way, 10/10. I actually do recommend watching it. If nothing else, to take a shit on Hollywood and not let them use it as a tax write off.

[showmethehotpods]

Get to know me tag

Tagged by the lovely @upsilambic <3

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better

Last song:

Last Movie: Probably the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. It's been awhile since I've sat down and watched something. I wanted to see the latest Sonic movie, but I didn't have anyone to go with.

Last book: The Complete Book of Dogs; Breeds, Training and Health Care, a Comprehensive Encyclopedia of Dogs. I found it at a garage sale.

Last TV Show: I watched about two episodes of the new Devil May Cry anime with my sister. Lately, I've been binging a lot of Youtube Letsplays.

Sweet/savoury/spicy: Always sweets. I'm trying to be good, but I do like a slice of cake for morning tea time.

Relationship status: Single.

Last thing I googled: How to spell Timoteo {from Katekyo Hitman Reborn} because I can't seem to remember that fucker's name properly. Also R.E.P.O mods. .

Looking forward to: I'm sort of living day to day at the moment, but I am getting to see the Beetlejuice Musical in June. With Eddie Perfect playing the leading role of Beetlejuice. It would have been cool to see Alex Brightman, but you know. Australia. We take what we can get.

Current obsessions: I've been sticking with Katekyo Hitman Reborn, and my Original Character from it {Neri}, as something comforting and familiar. Although I've also been publishing some works around Agent Smith {The Matrix} on A03. I keep thinking I ought to give Raphael {Baldur's Gate 3} a bit more time, but I haven't been confident enough to return to that yet.

I appreciate the tag and the opportunity to talk about my interests; I probably won't tag anyone because I don't want to bother people, and I don't think I'd even know ten people anymore.

[nathanielbuildsatesseract]

Continuing to reflect on the television-season-length trends, I think one storytelling attraction to these 10-max episode streaming seasons is that it maintains the tension. The plot has to keep moving forward, there's no time for it not to move forward, and this is certainly going to be appealing to writers who want a coherent plot as opposed to doing a sitcom. We've seen that this has serious downsides, though, and I think relying on this strategy overlooks alternative methods for maintaining and raising the stakes in a slower manner.

I'm currently back on a Stargate kick (expect the queue to start spitting out a lot of posts later in the month) and all three shows had 20+ episode seasons, generally with corresponding arcs. By the time we get to the later seasons' finales, the stakes have usually reached truly galactic levels. But since we had several episodes to properly establish this fact, it feels much more real in a way which a much shorter season's stakes generally doesn't.

The story is far more compelling because I believe the galaxy really is at threat. We've had time to watch the situation brew and for a recurring character or two to cycle through and say "oh yeah, shit's getting bad over on my planet, too". It feels much more shown than told, perhaps, even if it is just being told to us. Hearing from an established ensemble character evokes the broader world more effectively than someone from the main cast saying it directly to the camera in the briefing scene.

This scale and/or severity is good. It makes victory and defeat more critical. That can be achieved in different ways, perhaps this is only devastating to the characters we care about, but if we rush too much its significantly harder for me to feel on the edge of my seat over it.

To be clear, production budget and expected revenues for binge-versus-weekly release are bigger factors than writing quality when the executives decide how many episodes to order. But I can't help but think this may be one of those situations where everyone is optimizing their little part of the process, and nobody is looking at the big picture metrics closely enough to notice that they're not optimizing those at all.

[hayatoseyepatch]

Sam!!! Congrats on the milestone again, this is so exciting! I hope you’ve been enjoying your time on the blr writing and interacting because you are a joy 💚

So matchups, hm? I’m curious about a match from either wbk OR tokyo rev (just one, and you choose!) just whatever comes to your head first 😅

She/they pronouns, an introvert disguised as an extrovert I think. I can be super outgoing, but it drains me, and my idea of a fun time is definitely sitting at home with my favorite coloring app and Law&Order: SVU. I usually have music playing at any given time, and my top artists are Hozier and Sleep Token. I wear a lot of leggings and hoodies and depending on how cool I wanna look I’m either in my Birks or Docs lol. When I’m not being a homebody, I like bookstores, dungeons and dragons, and concerts. Oh, and I don’t want kids, like, at all. So my partner has to be okay with that.

My favorite tropes are friends to lovers and Coffeeshop AUs (also a big fan of Only One Bed cause who isn’t?)

I like guys taller than me (not hard since I’m 5’2” lol) who have a darker aesthetic. Gotta be smart, usually very serious on the outside with a goofy side that not everyone sees. I admire people with hobbies, something they’re really passionate about.

My favorites from wbk are hiragi (obviously), ume, togame, and arima, and my faves from Tokyo rev are akkun, takemichi, mitsuya, and kisaki.

I don’t really have any characters that I loathe from either fandom, though I can’t see myself ever being with someone who’s, like, super crazy peppy and outgoing all the time.

Again, just pick either fandom! I figured I’d give you options cause I have a lot of love for both series 💚 congrats again!

Melonnn!! ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡♡ Thank you so much for your kind words and for participating! You're literally so sweet and I’m so lucky to be moots with such an angel ♡ On to your matchup my love!

I Match you up with Toma Hiragi from Wind Breaker!

⤜♡→ Come on now I cant be expected not to appreciate the actual best couple in the entire world. Satoru Nii and me are besties we literally just got off the phone and he was like “Yeah ofc RagiMel is canon.” I just think you guys are such a good match for eachother. Your personalities just suit each other so well. I am a firm supporter of things are boring if you are the exact same personality wise and I feel like your differences and similarities attract you to one another.

⤜♡→ Hiragi would much rather sit at home with you, his head perched on your lap as you explain the plot to one of your shows to him. Is he a little worried you’d be able to dispose of his boy too well with the amount of Law and Order episodes you both have binged? Sure. But its always nice to keep them on their toes, yk?

⤜♡→ Hiragi was the first to confess, but he took his sweet time doing it, poor man was so nervous. He was more than ready to take out Umemiya for not so subtly pointing out his (very obvious) crush on you. I feel like he isn’t the best at hiding his feelings. Being openly stern and even aggressive with the others but always kind and gentle when it came to you. His favoritism was just so blatantly obvious.

⤜♡→ This may be a hot take but I feel like Hiragi is more than okay with not having kids. I know a lot of people look at him and are like “ahh, yeah he’s totally a guy who wants a family.” But hear me out here. Hiragi has had his fair share of being an older brother almost fatherly figure to those like Sako, Kaji, and Sakura. He’s done his fair share and he is more than happy to just spend the rest of his life loving you and maybe even getting a pet or two. Your love is more than enough for him. You and Bofurin are his family, and that’s all he could ever ask for.

He pulls over into a clearing putting the car in park, getting out to properly set up the bed of the truck with pillows and blankets, humming to himself. He approaches our door after a moment opening it and offering you his hand, helping you out of the vehicle and walking you to the back. Grinning he allows his large hands to cup your waist, leaning down to slot his lips against yours. It didn’t matter how long you had both been together, every time kissing Hiragi felt like the first time. The all-encompassing love he slipped into every kiss still had you weak in the knees. Pulling away from you, he looks into your eyes, his own soft and lidded with adoration. Pressing his forehead against your own, his breaths fanning your face as he speaks. “I love you darling, more than you could ever possibly know.” With one more love-stricken smile he lifts you, helping you into the bed of the truck. Climbing in after you he settles you both against the blankets, lying down next to you.

He hums in contentment as you lie your head against his chest. He had taken you here many times before, the calm of the area where you could both just enjoy each others presence while looking up at the night sky, gazing at the array of stars. He craved these moments with you, where it was just the two of you, where nothing else mattered but holding you in his arms. He smiles, arms squeezing you tightly to him, smile adorning his features. One hand carding his fingers through your hair. “We haven’t been able to come here in a while, we have so many good memories here.” He hums, pulling you closer to him, recalling the very first time he brought you here. “This is where I told you I loved you for the first time, remember?”

His heart soars when he hears you laugh, recalling the memory, him taking his medicine to qualm his aching stomach from nerves. The way he felt as if his face would melt with the heat from his red cheeks. His words came out nervously, surging in to capture your lips with his own when you reciprocated his confession. His teeth clashing with your own in the kiss, so much so that he had punctured your lip. “How could I forget?” Your voice pulled him from his thoughts, his smile aimed at you once more. As he felt the weight of the velvet box that weighed down his pocket, he just hoped you could make yet another memory in your special place.

[alphaofdarkness]

Okay Dany, convince me to ship Kidge. What is the appeal of this ship? (genuinely asking because I've only watched season 1 and I'm curious)

⁉️👀⁉️

Not gonna lie anon, your question caught me off guard at 2am on a Sunday,, I was like 😳

“Oh shit someone's asking me?? About a ship?!” The intimidating question was so real and all I could do was literally go on a feral tirade on why I love Kidge so much and legit made no sense and just kept wondering in between moments of clarity on how I can properly defend myself on why I like the ship 😩 (not that I need to or have too, enough time has passed where I can say,,, just let me ship and be blissfully happy UwU, I do not car e anymore lol)

I will say that I want to keep this brief (as best I can, because heck I went feral just talking to myself on why I like the ship), I’m not the best at explaining things like some other amazing people might in the ship tag. But take what I say with a grain of salt and hope I don’t scare you off with whatever I do type.

**Note: This is not entirely brief liike how I wanted and I hate myself,, feck,,, I failed step one immediately**

Imma do bullet points, thoughts and prayers y'all cause I did my best to explain my chaotic thoughts lol ;;w;;

First and foremost! I definitely recommend that you watch the show in the general scope of a viewer and not just focusing on a ship. I think everyone should and would be aware of that~ but much like my initial watch I wasn’t paying much attention to the show and lore and story because I was distracted~. It wasn’t with Kidge at the time, but it definitely impeded my watch in the beginning as well as me falling off the fandom for a while into season 3-5. Plus, me rushing through those seasons when season 7 was coming around like, blood hell Alpha.

I think it goes without saying because the show is really good and love the found family aspect of it most importantly 👏🏼👏🏼 I am a sob and a fecking mess about this trope and I will forever cry over it.

I highly recommend watching the show in increments too instead of just binging it because you will lose information much faster 😭 and also it is just so fun to look forward to watch it the next day. I had so much fun this month just rewatching the show and am kind of depressed that it’s over lol 😔

Don’t cry because it’s over be happy for the journey (and all the fanfics you can reread again with full, understanding knowledge 😌)

Additionally, it is fun to reflect on the episodes re-watched, to better retain the info, at least for me, I can be slow with digesting new information (especially after so long), but it also made me giddy just talking to myself about the silly or serious shenanigans happening in the episode.

Second of all! I don’t want to convince you to ship Kidge 😩 I want you to convince yourself on why they would be good and cute together from your perspective! 👏🏼👏🏼

I personally think that they just work so well together, and while their initial interactions are short and brief, I love seeing them just standing next to each other or sharing panels during the fight sequences through much of the early seasons! I will say liike season 7 (even season 8) is like a holy grail for Kidge shippers because— 😩👏🏼 AH, took a while to get there, but we made it besties!!

Considering you’ve only seen season 1, I won’t dive into too many spoilers! To the best of my ability, I will say, I tended to focus on where the two stood by one another a lot and how they interacted in their lions and as Voltron and outside of it! ~

1. They both have family members/familial others on the trip to the Kerberos mission and just the whole concept of them looking for their respective familial figures.

Like that’s is the first part of the whole “WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL 😩” the way the two of them are shown to fight tooth and nail to save and go out of their way to figure out where their family members are is just 🤧✨ I truly believe if there was an opportunity to grow and develop them together it would have been over this.

I also find it incredibly fascinating that they are two of the most prominent characters that dive into their backstories in flashback sequences through the seasons ahead (we got a glimpse of Pidge's backstory in season 1 with a few more down the line). And how similar the two are in some of their experiences like school and being bullied and how their familial figures guide them (Shiro to Keith and Matt, and her father, to Pidge).

Hell, all of this could have been played as platonic all the way through or something more. Like I was there for it 👏🏼 I feel like this is a strong cemented stone on why I ship them a lot and keep me going on the potential their relationship could have been if they knew one another before the pilot episode. I just think it would have been cool, two conspiracy theorist bypassing the government to search for the truth!

2. They are literally the right and left arms of Voltron; the sword and shield ✨

I sincerely wish so much that again their relationship could have been developed more in the early seasons with this aspect, especially since we see how developed both Lance and Hunk are with each other (I mean they are literally best friends at the Garrison, I needed most of that with Kidge especially since they would be the opposite to them so it would have great to see them develop together as the arms of Voltron 🤧).

I just think it would have been nice to see it play out on how well they work together on the field and off it. I will say! It isn't all lost, especially into season 3 and like late season 6 and onwards! I say the dynamic of Shiro and Pidge in their lions and as Voltron currently is what kind of develops in Keith and Pidge later! I hope you can make sense of that later on as you keep watching 👀!

3. Other general things about their tropes and personalities just give me more fuel to ship them, such as:

Them both being introverted to heck in their respective ways; the techie nerd and the emo loner like,,, sillies!

I am always someone who loves looking at character color palettes and how they mesh well together; so believe me I lost my mind when Kidge shippers literally came up with Kidgemas cause of their red and green colors and I just *screams* 🌿🔥

I love both their personalities and how similar, yet different, they are to one another in that respect; they both have a drive and fire in them, their sarcasm and jibs to the others is so funny.

I'm not over season 1 episode,,, 2? Of the team training together and like,,, first of all, the two's small spat because Pidge couldn't concentrate during the mental exercise, but literally leaping to her defense when Allura threw food goo at her like,, Ah I just love her sarcasm to Allura then "The princess of what, your not ours--" and i just like go off queen, but also please no fighting 😩 y’all are going to be family ah,,, i love my dysfunctional family so much ya'll

Keith making a face at the action and immediately "Go loose, Pidge" LIKE AH! 👏🏼👏🏼😩😩

But they also have their calm moments of serene clarity and peace that is heighted with their interactions with the other characters as well!

I also noticed how they both tend to be the mature ones in some cases and some situations when around the other or a shared mature figure like Shiro; Keith by like a lot, clearly, but I was increasingly surprised by how Pidge maintained some serious temperament during missions, especially when around Hunk and most definitely around Lance lol (It is funny tho how serious and mildly annoyed she gets to his flirtatious ways, but can also immediately just let her guard down and have giddy fun with him when something catches her interest, it's so cute and hilarious 😌).

I also just love their development through the show of just letting their guard down around the others overtime! Especially with Keith and how his lone wolf personality melts away (believe me I lost my mind at how many sweet moments were between him and Hunk and IM just here crying at how Keith was able to smile and have fun around him 😭 💛❤️ got me all emotional i fecking criED). As well as Pidge with the others, especially after she told them about her true identity and how she wants to be able to work with them better without any secrets (On a side note, I wish there was more moments with Allura and Pidge earlier on ;;;o;;; SHE LEARNED ALTEAN FOR HER AND CORAN AND IM JUST,,, sweetie I love you! YOUR HONOR THEY ARE SISTERS! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼).

Ah shit, is that season 1 or 2? ;;w;; well, she learns it a nice fact! My girl is such a genius like how did she not like,,, move up grades in school, she is so intelligent , i could never. Not gonna lie, I feel like the team wouldn't be as successful with intel if they didn't have her and her tech wizard skills because DAMN.

Also how Keith was so up and arms when Pidge wanted to leave initially like!? Please ;;w;; sir has abandonment issues, please don't leave sweetie (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀); but also a similar scene occurs, very briefly, later on in reverse :) so take that as you will! It is very small, almost negligible if you aren't paying attention to it.

It is made better by a concluding panel that Kidge shippers just lose their minds over ! (Me, I am kidge shippers and I lost my mind over and over because they are just — *cries and sobs* perfecto!)

Very minor thing, but the height difference (in general im weak in the knees for this) always gets me crying, screaming, throwing up, going feral on the ground. My dearest Pidge, she may gain some legs later in life, but like she is definitely still tiny and I sob, give us short queens some representation because it is so hard out here, and we will kill you (not Allura bending down to her height in that episode she was planning to leave; how NOT to talk to a short person Allura lol 😩)

I think it goes without saying that the whole team, including Keith, are protective of Pidge like as they should be and I just *grins mischievously* can say with confidence that he do 😌

Definitely more of a personal headcanon, and there is a Kidge art of it floating around somewhere in the tag, if they actually had more moments and trained together, but I love Pidge being taught on how to defend herself, especially one on one and like her managing to take down Keith in training and he's just like "⁉️⁉️😳⁉️⁉️” God, I love a woman that can kick my ass trope *chokes*.

I am a sucker for hearing their voices and tone and emotions, so you know for damn well I am listening to them just say the others name in a soft or sarcastic tone lol (I love Steven Yeun's voice, my Glenn 😭, I am a mess for not appreciating Keith before in my initial watch of the show).

Ah, I can go on and off about them, especially about the later seasons but like you're just going to have to take a look of it yourself as you go into it 😌

Once again, I definitely recommend you watch the show for what it is in its storytelling and lore and character development; you can keep a close eyed view of Kidge in the background, but definitely rewind for the moments or stop and pause or rewind for the information given in story.

I hope you enjoyed my nonsense speak and take something away from it or ignore it altogether. I don't mind, I want you, overall, to convince yourself on why you would like to ship Kidge as you watch the show, if at all! We are all here for a fun and good time after the show's initial debut 😌🌿🔥

Have a small doodle of Kidge! My first time drawing them after like 4 1/2 years and I am just,,, yelling at my growth in art and how cute I made them look; mild spoiler, I suppose, of their older selves appearances~ Hope you like! 😌✌🏼

Enjoy your day anon!

[dragonclady]

I don't like who I am now (or the different lives we live watching others).

I used to watch videos of a girl showing how her job at a Dairy Queen ice cream shop worked. The constant, mundane routine, the calm way the girl explained how it all worked, the different flavors and so on, sparked in me a sense of contentment and comfort; I could spend hours binge-watching the short videos, eating cookies, desiring all the ice creams she made and wondering what they must taste like. A routine with no changes has always calmed me. I wake up and know exactly how the day will be, the things I need to do will be absolutely the same. This brings me a certain kind of tranquility.

But one of the contradictory consequences of this is that routine suffocates me. Often, breaking away from routine and monotony, and being able to do something different – but the idea that I’ll have to deal with the “new,” without even knowing how to handle or do something with it – triggers parts of me that I can’t manage. I call these parts “versions.” Each version of me likes something different, likes to act in a certain way. There are many different things, all the “wants” diverge from each other. It’s strange, but I swear I’m not a walking Fragmented.

But it is in these moments that I don’t know how to be or act. I can do the same things I’m used to, and still, it will seem like I’ve never done them before. It’s days like these, that don’t seem to end, where I don’t know how to feel what I truly am. On these days, I can’t say what I am – days where I can’t find anything normal about myself. I just exist, and go through the days closing myself off.

I usually call these types of episodes “periods of apathy.” Where I really don’t feel anything, and because I can’t feel things properly, only abstractly, I’ll do everything I can to feel something. Drowning myself in different types of new music – even if I don’t like them, or those I used to listen to and don’t anymore because they remind me of times I’m determined to forget; but everything is fair in the game of trying to feel anything that in my head is computed as “making sense.”

The same goes for new experiences, like daring to leave the house just to walk – something I don’t do willingly because I hate having to go out precisely because, somehow, my mind sees it as “this will be a bad memory for you, and later you will do everything to forget it, but you won’t be able to.” It’s as if my brain doesn’t allow new experiences out of fear that something might go wrong, and if it goes wrong, I won’t be able to forget and will torment myself for a long time, wishing more than anything that I could forget. What I find most frightening about all this is that all my senses will contribute to making it really worse: I’ll be able to remember the smell of the occasion, the tastes of what I was eating when something happened, how I was talking or acting. So, after everything is digested in a very bad way, my behavior will completely change to a different one that distances itself from how I used to be – not to mention that any similar smell I breathe or taste I experience from that period will immediately take me back to that moment. And then, every effort to distance myself from who I was will simply disappear, and I will enter various waves and layers of pure despair and isolate myself.

I did a year of therapy to know that these are defense mechanisms. I know that. But I still can’t help but lament that I don’t like this. I always think that maybe I’m trapped inside my own head, precisely because I often can’t get out of it. Or, because people don’t understand how my mind is slower and more confused in understanding the things around me. That it’s harder for me to be a part of things. Unfortunately, because the year of therapy I had wasn’t very good, or just not good enough for me, things remain the same. Or worse. Worse because I know it’s something but I don’t really know what…

The pressure of being on the internet lately – not wanting to play the role of someone who always brings some kind of generational conflict – is quite distressing and conflicting. Because I was in a time when I would run to the internet to read all the blogs I followed, and it was like a hobby. A hobby that simply involved coming home, grabbing my notebook, sitting on my bed, and reading all the possible blogs. It was the most passive way to read other people's opinions without having a meltdown or getting into arguments with many people online, and without any kind of cancel culture – although cruelty, cyberbullying, and other forms of lynching have always existed. But it was easier to avoid them. Today, it’s very difficult to sift through – especially when it comes to social media – where everyone rushes to create some kind of utopian perfect life, what things should or shouldn’t be, conflicts of different thoughts on various specific (or not) subjects. While many give their opinions – some bitter, others disguised as advice.

Let me be clear that I love the internet. I love knowing that I can learn about various things whenever I want and whenever I want. That I can learn anything, I can even meet various people from different places (even though, by my own choice, I don’t do that), be connected with dear people who live far from me. Being able to use Google Maps and see all the different places in the world (truly traveling the world just by looking at a map on a screen); even knowing the entire route to a place by heart before leaving. Knowing news and events at the exact moment. Knowing different points of view from various people around the globe. Reading blogs written by people who are an ocean away, etc…

Still, it becomes quite tiring to know who you are in such a hectic world. In a world where, unfortunately, it has become increasingly common to capitalize on the practice of hobbies. Even spending time on the internet to unwind has become something capitalized – everything we see and read is available for purchase. And not only that, but it has become people’s work. People live for this; it is their daily bread. People who take incredible photos, people who work by giving their opinions on a specific type of product, people who write, people who draw. Everything that started as a hobby, sharing something personal, has become capitalized. Not that this is wrong. But what remains?

What remains for those who just want their personal passions to be just that: personal passions. Sharing a small poem, a snippet of your favorite animation, a photo of your small project, an image of your ongoing drawing. In all this, we put a price tag. It’s people’s time. And time is money. Time sells. Lost time is lost profit.

Amidst all this, the despair for isolation constantly grows. The need to retreat to some corner. Far away. Returning to the burrow. A place just to breathe – because even the places that were meant to entertain us and make us forget how hectic our daily lives are also make us run. Several videos per second, many words per minute, many images per hour. And opinions, opinions, and opinions. And my eyes get tired. My eyes hurt. My eyes itch.

And just the act of standing still watching something on a screen becomes exhausting.

Like running several kilometers.

I see all kinds of people, all kinds of opinions, all kinds of lives, all kinds.

And still, I can’t formulate who I am or who I am not.

I am a person living a life.

Or a person who is just there to watch the lives of others.

When we walk down the street and look at the buildings above, lights on in the windows, all kinds of people living their lives behind them, you wonder what different kinds of lives all those people have. What they do, what they are doing, who they are. It’s like living just to watch others live their lives.

And in this, the constant thought remains that maybe I don’t like who I am. Or at least, I don’t like who I am now. Because maybe life, in a way, doesn’t seem to have started. Or, it has started, and precisely because it has started and nothing has happened yet, makes my current self something not to like.

It is living to watch others. To watch others live their lives; because maybe I don’t have one now.

[bizzybkd]

Cornbread (1)

Killmonger x pregnant!reader / part one

Warnings: None, just super fluffy, and in this AU, Erik’s father never left Wakanda but he did pass at the same time as in canon, Erik just grew up surrounded by the rest of his family instead

As you looked amongst your closet, the growing mound on your front told you that most of your clothing wouldn’t properly fit you anymore right now. Carrying your fiancé’s big headed baby boy had given you enough reason to buy larger sized clothing ahead of time. Of course, most of the clothes you wore were Erik’s, seeing as he was almost an entire foot taller than you.

You reached your hand inside and pulled out one of Erik’s Nike tech outfits, the much larger size telling you that as long as you didn’t spill anything on it, and your baby didn’t suddenly decide to come two weeks early and have your water break whilst sitting on the couch, Erik wouldn’t be upset once he saw you in it.

Said man had already taken his leave to go to work, a job you knew very little about but didn’t care to know much. You had your dream Cadillac in the garage and subscriptions to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO Max, and Disney+ and more than enough good food in the kitchen. Whether it needed to be made or even just removed from the packaging, you couldn’t be happier with the selection. Erik always made sure you had your favorites, which at the time were goldfish crackers, plantain chips, ice cold water from your preferred refillable water bottle, and your soon-to-be Auntie-in-law’s homemade cornbread, which Erik would either take you to get personally from her in Wakanda or he would go get himself.

For a royal family that could have any chef they desired and any food they could ask for at their finger tips, Queen Mother making cornbread always seemed to brighten your mood no matter what.

As you looked in the fridge for your cornbread, you looked at the container the cornbread was in had been gone, and taking a quick glance at the sink, you knew exactly why.

‘You ate the last piece of cornbread?!’ You sent to your fiancé’s phone, fingertips typing ten words a second at how furious you were becoming. How dare he! Taking the last piece of cornbread he knew you loved and knew he wouldn’t have time to get for another few days due to work. How dare he taken something quick to eat in his late morning that you had wanted first!

After five minutes passed of you staring at the message sitting on “delivered”, it finally changed to “read 11:27am”.

‘…’

‘…’

‘Babygirl, there was only one piece left.’ He replied, having deleted and retyped his message three times as the dots had told on him.

‘That was my last piece! Now there isn’t anymore and I want some! When can we get more?’

‘Maybe Thursday, (Y/n). I don’t know, I shouldn’t be talking right now, okay? I’ll get you your cornbread.’

You glared at the message and simply put a ‘thumbs up’ on it in reply, letting out a long groan of frustration before putting a hand over your belly, in your act of anger, you had forgotten to actually get something to eat. Getting up with a huff, you trudged to the kitchen with much less gumption that you had before. Pulling the box of Lucky Charms cereal from the cabinet and the oat milk from the fridge, you made yourself a quick bowl of cereal, leaving everything out by you as you knew you would want another few bowls.

An hour or so later, still saddened by the lack of cornbread as you munched on the bland tasting plantain chips you had beside you. The mediocre game show on screen made you cringe, it was obvious the contestants were guessing wrong on purpose to the easiest questions just to make the episode hit its target screen time. It annoyed you to no end, but seeing as you binged all your shows and wouldn’t dare taint your mind’s taste buds by risking a new show or movie, you settled.

Out of boredom, you decided to treat yourself, you were cornbread-less, patience-less, and had what the doctors assumed to be a seven to eight pound baby in your belly. Wakanda was only a short ten hour trip by flight, and practically 30 minutes if you could convince your cousin-in-law, Princess Shuri or King T’Challa to send a jet to your house.

You had always known about Erik, well, N’Jadaka, Erik simply being the name he took undercover when he came to America where he met you. You figured out pretty quickly he was the prince, shaving his beard, contacts and a switch from locs to a fade didn’t do as much disguising as he’d hoped, not from you anyway.

You kept his secret while you both attended MIT, as long as he promised to help you pass your physics and trigonometry courses. Aside from numbers and formulas, those weren’t the only things you were happy to take with you once you graduated.

Now having dated four years and being eight months pregnant, with a beautiful 4 carat engagement ring on your finger, and a very strong bond between your fiancé and his family, it wasn’t exactly uncommon for your pregnant self to call the princess and king if you needed something while Erik was at work.

Dialing Shuri’s kimono beads with your own she’s given you, it was almost immediately she answered, a large smile on her holographic face.

“(Y/n)!! It’s great to hear from you!! How are you and my nephew? Sleeping okay? Resting? Eating well?” She cried, the background of the hologram showing she must’ve been at work in her lab.

“Hello, Shuri, I’m doing very well thank you, M’Jabe too. Erik ate the last piece of Queen Mother’s cornbread this morning and I was hoping I’d be able to come get more? It’s really been the only thing keeping me—“

“Right away! I’ll speak with cousin later but for now you come here!!” Shuri interrupted, an interruption you couldn’t care less for as it meant you’d be getting what you wanted. “The jet will be there in ten minutes, shall you pack a bag and stay the night again?” She asked.

You’d stayed the night last month, having had phantom contractions that had easily convinced you that you were in labor. Seeing as it had been another four weeks since then, it was obvious you were wrong. Knowing you still had two weeks before your due date, you deemed yourself perfectly fine not to stay long, especially with how busy the royal family were already.

“No, Shuri, but thank you, I’ll stay again in a week or two since M’Jabe will be due then.” You assured her. She nodded solemnly but smiled. “That’s fine, but the next sleepover I’ll be meeting my nephew so I’ll be looking forward to that!”

You let out a laugh and nodded. You and Shuri continued to talk until the jet arrived, having put on a jacket to combat the nipping mid October weather and a pair of fuzzy slippers you loved. Okoye met you at the top of the stairs into the jet, giving you a smile as you walked in, lending you a hand up the steps as you used the other hand to hold your belly.

“Enkosi, General.” You smiled as she nodded and helped you to a seat.

“Of course, (Y/n), it’s good to see you’re doing well, I’d hoped you would with prince N’Jadaka.” She replied, earning a laugh from you and your son who kicked your kidney in agreement. God he wasn’t even born yet and he was heavy handed like his father.

The ride to Wakanda was short of course, and for good reason, you could only feel your drool escaping your lips as you nearer the great castle, as if smelling the cornbread being made already.

Erik called you after you landed and we’re being escorted inside.

“Why are you in Wakanda?” He asked almost immediately after you answered.

“I wanted my cornbread.” You replied matter-of-factly.

He let out an audible sigh. “You’re a trip..” he let out a soft chuckle before it turned into a light laugh. He loved your attitude, and his ability to tame it. “Don’t worry, Babygirl, I’ll be there soon. Tell Auntie and the other two I said hey.”

You smiled and walked along the long hallways with Okoye, her simply going about her duty alongside you. You couldn’t tell if she was just a master of not showing her opinions through her face, or if she truly tuned out your conversation. It didn’t really matter to you.

“Okay, baby, I’ll see you when you get here. And I forgive you for eating my cornbread.” You smiled, rubbing your belly gently.

He let out yet another laugh, but this one came from his gut, he truly found you amusing and that’s one of the things he truly loved about you. You loved his laugh as well.

“Thank you for forgiving me baby. I won’t touch your cornbread again.” He said in defeat, you could hear the smile in his voice and it made you blush. God, even after four years he could make you giggle like a school girl.

“Get here soon, me and M’Jabe miss you lots..” you admitted. Curse your pregnancy tongue.

Erik noticed the small difference in your tone, how sad you suddenly became at the thought of him being so far away. He hated doing that to you, no matter what his duties were. Of course, him working was to provide for the human you both created that was only days away from coming along. You and your baby were his priorities and everything else came second, so as much as he’d want to spend hours and hours tending to your pregnant form and giving you all the treatment you deserved, being able to stay with his family was the next best thing.

“How about you stay in Wakanda until my son comes along?” He asked you, knowing you had already discussed how you wanted to stay in the comfort in your own home until it was time. But you also knew that he was worried about that plan, what if you went into labor and he wasn’t home or couldn’t make it home, he’ll be damned before you had to take yourself to a rinky dunk hospital that charged almost 100k just for birthing the child and even just holding it afterwards, before the baby was born of course.

You went silent for a bit to think it over, you knew what he was worried about but also knew what you wanted. Being hormonal and pregnant, missing your fiancé who couldn’t be there for what you knew wouldn’t be another two hours, and in a castle you hadn’t spent more than a week at a time in, tears welled in your eyes.

You quickly wiped them away and did your best to hide the sudden spiral in your voice.

“How about we talk about that when you get here, baby, I don’t wanna make any decisions without looking each other in the face.” You said, mustering a smile.

Erik nodded, he knew that would make you feel better.

“Alright, baby, that sounds good. I’ll talk to you then, okay? I love you.” He finally said.

“I love you back..” you replied, hanging up the phone and letting soft tears fall as you made it to the thrown room.

Face to face was how you liked to handle things anyway. That how you got M’Jabe to be two weeks away to being in the world anyway.

Well… maybe not two weeks.

[tatsuo-k]

Out of the Friendzone

a/n: I'm so in love with Levi and I wanted to write smth really cheesy bc I'm a silly hopeless romantic

pairing: leviathan x gn!reader

summary: best friends to lovers trope but when Levi tells you how he feels, he messes up his words and panics

---

Levi was clingy with you, it was obvious. What was more obvious though, was his continuously growing feelings for you and he was getting anxious about it.

He's never been in a relationship before, he's had crushes, some were serious crushes but he never tried to pursue them because of his crippling self-esteem and anxiety. He was too anxious to even try and make a move with you but he had all these little cheesy fantasies he wanted to be real.

He's had so many opportunities to tell you three simple words, 'I love you'. So many opportunities where the two of you would be having a heart felt moment and the urge to just spurt out the words yet he never had the confidence to do it. He would always back out last minute or someone would interrupt and take you away.

His fear of you rejecting him or even having a bad reaction to him telling you these things, will be something that will always haunt him. What if you reject him? He won't he able to get over it and avoid you like you're the plague. What if you get disgusted with him when he tells you?

"You're my best friend, don't you ever deny that!"

"I would never, Levi. You're my best friend too!" Ah, the friendzone. He's worried, what if things don't go well when he finally confesses his feelings to you? He's going to lose his Henry, his best friend. The frienzone was a safe place to be in but he desperately wanted more than just a friendship.

The two of you were binge watching another anime that had caught his interest. Blanket wrapped around both of your shoulders, snacks and drinks piled on his bed as the two were both hooked on to the screen like ipad kids. Frequent comments and shocked or excited gasps filled up the room as episodes rolled by.

"Can you pass me the water bottle?"

"Ugh, I guess." He loved the little playful banter he has with you. What's even better is that he knew that you were joking and not straight up insulting him! He handed the bottle to you, almost flinching away when he felt your hand skim over his.

Man, he's cuddled with you before, why was he acting like this.

Who is he kidding, he gets incredibly nervous and shy when you guys cuddle.

He stared at your unoccupied which was placed on his bedsheets. He switched his gaze from the anime to his hand, could he hold your hand? His hand shook as they edged closer to yours. Does he have the confidence to do this?

He didn't, he left his hands next to yours, a blush quickly creeping on to his pale skin. You noticed his hand next to yours. A small smile appeared on your face before you linked you pinky with his. You could practically feel the heat coming off him now. His face felt like it was burning, his heart was surely going to pop out of his chest soon. The anime being the only noise in the room, the two sat with a smile on their face, not daring to look at each other in case eye contact was made.

He was hyping himself up inside his head, trying to get the courage to actually hold your hand. As much as holding pinkies made him ecstatic, he wanted to do the real thing. He's got this, he can do this. You initiated the pinky holding, that surely means that you want to hold his hand right? Right??

He took in a deep breath and unlinked his pinky from yours, sliding his hand underneath your to hold it properly. Not intertwined like he wanted to, but holding your hand like this was good enough.

Is it getting hot in here or was it just him?? He can feel himself getting sweaty, he wanted to take off his jacket but this was such a precious moment. Wait, can you feel his hand getting sweaty? Oh no, what if you think that's gross?!?

As if you could read his mind, you squeezed his hand, a squeeze that broke his panic of thoughts. He gave a weak squeeze back, feeling his panic quickly diappearing.

Oh man, he really needs to tell you soon. He can't keep these feelings to himself much longer.

A couple of days went by, nothing much had changed apart from the two of you, ever so slowly, becoming more physically intimate. Hand were intertwined, pinky fingers were held by another, hugs lingered a little longer, cuddles were a little tighter, small touches here and there became more frequent.

The avatar of envy was in his room, rehearsing how he would tell you his feelings. He looked at the mirror, trying different phrases and poses he's seen in anime. He sat in front of Henry 2.0 and tried saying different things to express his emotions to you, hoping the goldfish would tell him whether or not it was good or a no go of a confession. All of the mental preparation in the past couple of days, hours of rehearsing, he feels a spike of confidence and he wanted to take advantage of it before it disappears.

He texted you to come into his room, he was really going to do it. You knocked on his door, saying the secret password before he let you in. You shut the door behind yourself before making yourself comfortable in his bed. He took a couple of deep breaths, feeling his anxiety starting to kick in. He's gonna do it tonight or else he'll be upset with himself for the next several days.

"How come you asked me to--"

"I want to stop being friends."

"... What?" Oh no why did he say that, he wasn't supposed to say that. He said it with such confidence which made it worse. All that rehearsing for him just to say THAT??? Not even an impulsive 'I love you' or a 'I really like you', he said THAT instead? "Did... Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did, Levi."

"No no no, w-wait, that's n-not what I was supposed to say! L-Let me try that again!" He was trying to stutter his way back to what he was supposed to say. He's only making things worse for himself and you were confused with what was happening. The silence got incredibly awkward, enough for someone to feel it when they walk in the room and immediately leave because of it.

"Take your time Levi, it's okay." You softly said to him, hoping that it would calm him down before he has a full blown meltdown. He felt so pathetic, even at a time like this, you were being so patient and kind to him. You really do deserve better.

He grabbed your shoulders, staring at you dead in the eyes with determination. A wide blush on his face, he took in another deep breath.

"I-I was supposed to say that I-I love you, MC! A-And I'm scared of getting into a r-relationship with you because I've n-never been in one before! What if I mess up?!" He pushed through his stutter but he felt so out of breath. His heart pounding, fast and hot in anticipation for whatever you might say next. His hands still on your shoulders, he moved his gaze down, too scared to loom at your reaction.

"Levi-"

"I-I really want to try for y-you though! I want to become s-someone you can proudly call your b-boyfriend!"

"Levi, let me--"

"If you don't f-feel the same back t-then that's okay too! I want to keep being best friends with you-- AH!" You cupped his face and made him look at you. He wasn't expecting your face so be so close to his.

"Let me talk!" You huffed, finally being able to stop his rant before it went into him insulting himself. "I feel the same way, Levi. I've always had. I don't care if this will be your first relationship or not, I want to be with you. I want to call you my boyfriend, I've been wanting to tell you for so long, I always just missed my chance to do so." Oh no, is he crying? He felt so much lighter now, feeling so much weight come off his shoulders, a wave of relief and joy washing over him. So many emotions all at once. "We can figure things out along the way, okay? If you feel like you're messing things up, we can talk about it." And with that, you pressed your lips against his.

Oh boy, not only did you feel the same way back, you're kissing him! He felt like he just went back to the celestial realm, this was heaven. Adrenaline was still pumping through him, making him shake. You pulled back, feeling a tad bit embarrassed yourself.

It was silent. Not an uncomfortable or a tense one. It was strangely comfortable and comforting.

Letting his impulsiveness take over him, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly. He swore you could feel how hard his heart was beating. You wrapped your arms around him, sitting there in a peaceful silence.

"Thank you for giving me a chance, you really are the best anyone could ask for. I don't have to feel overly jealous seeing you hang out with other people now, knowing that you love me. I really do love you, MC."

[fitzrove]

9 people you want to get to know better

Thank you so much for tagging me, @emptymasks and @pufferflufferfish !!! (Let's all ignore that it took me a long while to fill this out... xD). These are always so much fun to do!

Three Ships: It's a pretty clear choice - Death/Rudolf from Elisabeth, Sarah/Alfred from TdV and Peter Jakes/Endeavour Morse from Endeavour. These have lived in my head rent free for years and are currently very much at the forefront of my mind :D

First Ever Ship: Ooh, probably something that I consider embarrassing in hindsight... I read a bunch of Loki x Tony Stark (MCU) fanfic as a child just because I wanted to read about Loki and that was kinda what was out there in 2013 💀 But I think the first one I got properly invested in was Stucky a few years later 😁😁

Last Song: I went on an early/mid 2010s dancepop binge last night (it's what I do when I'm sick, it's like comfort food) so it must've been Whip It by Nicki Minaj.

Last Movie: I don't watch a lot of movies :D It must've been the new Avatar one because my friend wanted to go see it in theatres 💀 I didn't like it all too much (suffered from a lot of Bad Sequel traits + I'd forgotten how one-dimensionally women are written in Hollywood flicks lol) but I like movie theatre popcorn.

Currently Reading: It's an audiobook but I think it counts... 😁 Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier! I love it so far, it's incredibly interestingly written and atmospheric. And I've barely even reached Manderley yet!

Currently Watching: Endeavour s9!!!!! It feels so weird that the final episode is airing next week......... but I feel like we're heading for a truly epic finale. I've wanted more closure on the Blenheim Vale case for years (Russ Lewis hinted at there being more to it on Twitter in like 2014) and I've wanted a special someone to return to the show for even longer, so I'm very excited!!!!

Currently Consuming: Water 😁 I tend not to remember to drink enough of it but it's soo important w a cold.

Currently Craving: Adventure In The Great Wide Somewhere. I like environmental enrichment, even if it's just new experiences in my own city... Luckily something even more exciting is forthcoming >:]

Tagging: @objectsofpower @sarcasticdolphin @armandjolras @pipuhattar @endeavourous @ins-licht @wo-der-horizont-beginnt @neednottoneed @starlene

(No pressure to do it - and apologies if you've already been tagged by someone else - but it'd be fun to hear you guys' responses!! Also, if anyone else sees this and wants to do it, you can say that I tagged you 😉)