#I wanna see other people's theories on it
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yimpysdiner · 2 days ago
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Ridiculously long analysis of Jimmy's dialogue
Jimmy is one of the most fascinating characters that's ever caught my eye, which is why I think the watering down of his character to "comically evil villain whose always snappy and overtly aggressive" is a little lame. Not only is it lame, it misses the point of his character entirely. I enjoy delving into him so what did I do? I went back through the game and took a screenshot of every single word he's ever spoken
Here I just wanna highlight some key character traits I think are often overlooked, his speech patterns, etc. This isn't gonna be some grand important theory thing or whatever, just looking at key points of his personality that I think often get lost when people are writing him. It's important to my lil hyperfixated mind, alright? Alright. I'm gonna be breaking this down into a few sections.
Speech Patterns Humor Observant Mimicking? Lashing out Hopelessness Remorse I won't be going over a few obvious things that have been pointed out time and time again like him talking down to Anya so much, being a major asshole, etc, we all know already.
General Speech :
Jimmy's speech is almost always blunt and to the point, he doesn't spend a lot of time rambling like Daisuke, isn't quite as outwardly analytical like Anya, doesn't throw in a lot of sarcastic little jokes like Swansea. Funny enough, his speech is most comparable to Curly's. I'll get to that later. When irritated he starts making little jabs, gets all passive aggressive. It's only when he's really pissed or pressured does he start swearing excessively. A lot of his dialogue hinges on passive aggression, things you could maybe brush off but still makes you feel a little... off. I don't really have screenshots for this little portion, you'll see it as we go on.
Humor
Jimmy isn't entirely a drag. Sure, he never really seems like the "life of the party," but he has his moments. This is kind of a nothingburger section but I often see Jimmy written as just some miserable grimacing guy in the corner
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There's one more where you close utility when Daisuke is trapped in the foam and he says "much better." I couldn't find a playthrough where the player does this to get the screenshots but I have seen it be done before. It may be me over analyzing, but I think his sense of humor and general way of expressing happiness is very dry. It's not that he doesn't, it's simply that he's just not a very excitable person. He likes the little tradition of parties on Tulpar and jokes around with karaoke getting "violent." The sort of jokes he makes are probably all the sort of jokes you might just take seriously because he says it in such a flat tone, it's the kind of thing where you have to really *know* how he is to get.
So he's not exactly the person you're gonna see moping in the corner of a party because he hates it, he's moping because he's just not outwardly expressive in that respect, but he does seem to enjoy festivities and fooling around
Observant
Something I commonly see in writing is Jimmy not being able to read people's emotions or understand *how* exactly to get under people's skin. Jimmy's actually incredibly in tune with how people feel, what their intentions are, and how to use that to his advantage. He's very aware of what people may think of him, what they think of others and what they may even think of themselves. This also sort of ties in to people thinking he's dumb, while he's throwing out lines like this almost completely unprompted :
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The cockpit scene is incredibly important to understand him as a character. Rewatching it I was quite shocked *how* much of this was immediately taken and used against Curly in later scenes. A teensie bit of context is cut as to not make this post far longer than it already is, but I'll do my best to fill in gaps.
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Just this line here is interesting to me, while he senses Curly is unhappy in his position, he can't quite grasp why yet. This is after he says he enjoys where he is, he feels they are in control in this position.
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In this calmer environment, Jimmy is able to understand why Curly feels like this without much pushback, even able to open up to Curly a little saying he feels he's still climbing up that ladder after him, to which Curly provides comfort and encouragement. I think a lot is told about their relationship here but that's a story for another day.
Later on, every bit of this information Curly confided in him is flipped over on him in a fit of rage. Where he was once understanding and sympathetic, he's now twisted those words to make Curly seem like a villain in everyone else's eyes, which he continues to do over and over until judgement day. Every bit of info you give Jimmy is ammunition.
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It's crazy to put this side by side and see when given the chance, Jimmy will take whats a perfectly good fear and throw it right back at you and really twist the knife while he's at it.
Other examples of this is his paranoia over what the crew thinks of him, especially after seeing Swansea and Anya talking. This one's pretty self explanatory
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Next one I find pretty interesting, after Jimmy finds Daisuke on the floor crying about being a screw up and after seeing Swansea scold him for not being great at his job, he decides to turn that around on him as well.
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He is not only very aware Daisuke looks up to people in power but looks up to Swansea in specific. I dunno, I just thought that was interesting when I was looking back through everything. I know Jimmy's manipulation of Daisuke is super obvious and in your face but it just helps add to the whole point of Jimmy knows how to wriggle his way into people's minds, especially when they're vulnerable.
I've hit the image limit and I'm not even half way done, so, PART 2
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shysquiggles · 2 years ago
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Hi there! Why do you think Aziraphale said "I forgive you" right after their kiss ended? Do you think he was referring to the very act of kissing, i.e. forgiving Crowley for kissing him without his consent? Or did it include a more general conotation, forgiving him for what he said, his general thoughts and behaviour?
Okay, there's a lot to ramble about here, and I think its a ramble because I'm not 100% sold on my own thinking. There's a lot of ways to interpret it (one laying into Aziraphale trying to tap into thje fact that Crowley believes he is 'unforgivable' and so using this to try and resolve things) but I do think it could go another way:
Considering this isn't the first time Aziraphale has used "I forgive you" to respond to Crowley, I'm sure it's basically these gays don't know how to communicate (again).
One of Aziraphale's issues is that, while he is very good at forgiving. he really isn't good at resolving personal emotional conflict. I don't mean all conflict -when there's an issue that the two of them are working to solve together (The apocalypse, Gabriel turning up at the bookshop), they work brilliantly. But the conflict I mean is talking about personal disagreements.
When you are faced with a disagreement from a person you care about, its good to talk things out and try to get both of your feelings on the table. You talk, and then you search for a compromise and a resolution. And at times, for a lot of relationships, things can be said that hurt. It takes time to figure things out, and it can take moments of needing to think. But, you do have to face the bumps in order to move forward and to avoid your relationship from falling apart
Here are the two situations that lead to "I forgive you".
The first season, Crowley was exasperated trying to convince Aziraphale to go with him to Alpha Centauri, but still holding his connections to heaven Aziraphale rejects it. Crowley says, "you're so clever, how can someone so clever be so stupid."
The second season, the two of them couldn't reach a compromised solution and, in a clearly agonised overly emotional kiss (truly trying to express everything going on in his head and heart) Crowley is, once again, making an attempt to convince Aziraphale to stay with him. Before that kiss, Crowley said, "you idiot. We could have been 'us'". He also, fully outright rejected the idea of them going to heaven together.
The two of them, despite regular teasing, hold a high opinion of the other. They are a little unit, and they do have each others backs. They protect one another. Receiving an insult (a genuine comment that hurts or something that may feel like an emotionally-driven act) from a person you hold that dear can really hurt.
Crowley used the words "idiot" and "stupid". Plus, clearly, that kiss left Aziraphale in a state of shock and overwhelm. There were a LOT of emotions coarsing through him at that moment, and you can see him trying desperately to work his way through them as quickly as possible. Ideally, they would give each other time to figure things out. This is the most confrontation they've possibly ever had with one another and it's a lot to process. It's also terrifying that the person you care for most in this world can cause such high amounts of emotion.
But even with all those conflicting feelings, there's one thing that Aziraphale is good at: forgiveness. Even when he thought Crowley was about to kill Job's kids, he said 'may God forgive you'. It's how he handles those bigger emotions. How he handles shame, or guilt, or how he handles a strong difference of opinion
Another way to look at Aziraphale's choice to give Crowley forgiveness in this scenario, is like when someone uses the word "sorry" all the time to fix a conflict or an argument. It's used to swiftly resolve the issue and try to get your relationship back on good terms. But, with time, if the issues don't get resolved or addressed, those sorry's soon lose their meaning and you struggle to forgive and forget. You don't fully address the issue, and you're left still feeling irritated and unsatisfied. Eventually, you probably give up.
Have you ever heard the phrase "sometimes sorry isn't good enough"? Well, maybe the same could be said for forgiveness. Sometimes forgive and forget leaves you stagnant in your situation. And I think that Crowley has heard forgiveness from Aziraphale over and over and over. He's given out his fair share of sorry's, and it's been met with forgiveness. But so has everyone else -he even seems to have forgiven Gabriel who was emotionally abusive to the next level. Aziraphale's forgiveness, being offered to everyone, has less meaning now. Even if, in this last occasion, it meant so much more than the others.
It takes a strong heart to forgive in the heat of the moment, and I'm more than certain it was said out of that. To forgive, despite feeling so much pain and strong emotions from Crowley's actions, is a real show of heart courage and strength. And I do think that this 'forgiveness 'does mean so much more than the others (e.g. compared to Maggie's rent). But from Crowley's pov, it may be hard to see that.
For many of us, the default of wanting to patch it up and make it better is "sorry". For Aziraphale, it's the other end of it: forgiveness. But offering forgiveness after a heated moment like that kiss, rather than talking about it, is stubbornly separating yourself from the conflict, not resolving it.
I'm convinced that Aziraphale didn't want that to make Crowley leave. The little 'no' he mouth's as Crowley walks out clearly means he wanted the other to stay, that he didn't want them to separate. But Crowley doesn't want forgiveness. And like saying sorry, all that saying "I forgive you" did is just end the discussion.
Or I don't know, maybe he was just forgiving him for them breaking up idk my brain hurts from this show I swear
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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so uh
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for 1. most people are gonna take advantage of black friday and wont see your specific niche tumblr post, I hate to say it
2. the us isnt running out of money for war any time soon, so...
3. this is just antisemitism???????? all we need is some (((echoes))) around the us and israel and then I'd have no reason to suspect otherwise from op...............
#why in tf do you think they care that much about getting your money rn and not before in any other war?#does it. mayhaps. have something to do w jewish people being involved now?#our tax dollars go to the govt regardless and has been for years and we already have an obscene amount of funding for military shit#preeetty sure they're not concerned about getting a couple hundred tumblr users money...#and also pretty sure one could only believe that if they're paranoid about jewish ppl.................#hard not to put two and two together and figure out op is prolly antisemitic and hopefully they just dont realize it#i say hopefully they dont realize it bc thats better than someone who knows and is pretending to be a leftist still.#if anything this pause happened bc its thanksgiving and biden doesnt wanna think about it over the holidays. thats p much it.#thats the only amount of conspiracy theory im willing to believe in this situation lmao.#but that ^ still assumes that biden has some sort of control over this that he really doesnt#and i dont think netanyahu cares that much about thanksgiving tbr...#it sounds more like to me that op is seeing this from a very american centric pov and assumes everyone celebrates thanksgiving#or cares enough about it to remember the dates.... i dont think this is as planned as op is making it out to be and any insinuation#that it IS planned sounds like conspiracy theory talk to me personally. i dont think biden is hittin netanyahu up and going#'hey thursday is thanksgiving and would be the perfect time to pause so we can (((get peoples money))) out of them#asiftheUSdoesnthaveplentyalready' like i just really dont think that convo is happening lmao.
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nachfo · 3 months ago
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Hello sprunki fandom. this is my contribution. i'm having a lot of fun designs this sillers and giving them headcanons.
Oren likes rabbits so i gave his headphones a lil rabbit simbol cuz i think its cute and Pinki would appreciate it :3
Gave mister funbot a wheel so they can move around. They can retract the wheel so they dont fall trying to balance themselfs when still.
Always thought it was weird that vineria only had one horn, so decided she had an accident while doing some gardening and cut it off. despite looking sharp, her horns are actually not that strong, they're like the stem of a flower. Its said that gray is not a cat, so he's a demon now
And wenda. Well wenda is wenda lmao. She's very sassy and actually has a crush on grey (yes i like gray x wenda) but gray just thinks she's annoying
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oflorelei · 9 days ago
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How it feels to be in the asoiaf fandom when you are lowkey a chill guy, don't get the weird "stan" movement, don't involve yourself in shipping drama and just rant a lil every tuesday but otherwise enjoy yourself:
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xxplastic-cubexx · 25 days ago
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In your professional educated psychology opinion. why is cherik Like That
i cannot give a Professional educated psychological opinion until at least may but as far as i can tell queer people cant be normal bout anything so thats why theyre like that
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musclesandhammering · 4 months ago
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Avengers Doomsday Theory
Been a long time since I’ve done a theory post, but I had to get this out there just in case it actually happens.
So I’ve seen everybody saying they think Dr Doom is gonna kill Loki and absorb his powers in order to reach god emperor status, but this is both anticlimactic story-wise, likely to piss off a lot of long-time fans, and also throwing away arguably one of Marvel’s only powerhouse characters/franchises since Endgame. But it’s undeniable that they probably are going to go the Molecule Man route, since that’s the most convenient way to explain Doom getting so strong. So here’s how I think it’ll happen.
Doom will find a way to siphon off the life force of the multiverse- the temporal energy that runs through all the timelines, keeping them alive (which is really just Loki’s power). He’ll use that go on his universe-hopping quest to do god-knows-whatever his endgame is. Since this energy source is theoretically infinite, he just keeps getting more and more powerful along the way.
Loki, of course, can tell this is happening. But the problem lies in his unique position and the way his powers seemingly work now.
Before anyone says anything- yes, Loki can rewrite stories. But we’ve mostly just seen him do it on a larger scale- deleting branches, bringing back dead timelines, encouraging nexus events, etc. Based on all the evidence we have so far, in order to “rewrite stories” on a smaller scale, he has to actually timeslip into the universe he wants to change and manually manipulate events until he gets the desired outcome.
He’s already shown that he has trouble with navigation. He can go to any timeline whether it still exists or not, hop into different universes, access places that aren’t even part of the multiverse- but just because he has the ability to reach these places doesn’t necessarily mean he has the knowledge. From what we’ve seen, it’s only easy for him to do it if it’s somewhere he’s been before or somewhere a variant of his loved ones exists so he can use them as anchor points. It’s implied that he can track temporal auras across the multiverse, but that’s only if he’s familiar with those auras. There’s no real precedent for how he’d navigate if he had none of these things to go on. Just because he’s sitting on the throne doesn’t really mean anything- it’d be hard as hell to find a specific supermarket on a world map if you were looking at it in its entirety and had no idea which hemisphere to focus on. I imagine it would be doable, but very difficult.
So I think it’s gonna be a case of Loki knowing Doom is sucking power from him and the tree, but not knowing exactly where he is to take him out. He can’t leave his throne for long periods, so it’s not like he could go and search everywhere and gather clues and interrogate people for his whereabouts, etc. The only way for Loki to cut off Doom’s power supply would be to stop powering the timelines altogether. But then they’d all die, so of course he’s never gonna do that.
And there lies the problem. Doom absorbs power from Loki until he’s nearly unstoppable, the whole time going around to different universes wreaking havoc in order to achieve whatever goal he has. Loki’s trapped- acting as the Molecule Man and basically just being a battery for the big bad due to his unwillingness to let the tree die. So how’s he supposed to get out of this pickle? He enlists the TVA and the multiversal avengers to hunt down Doom and fight him, of course!
This even fits with most of the rumors I’ve seen from insiders. Sylvie’s likely the one Loki sends to recruit the new avengers, like folks were saying. Doom does absorb Loki, like they said, just not in a draining-him-dry-til-he-dies kinda way. Loki would be a big part of the movie but have very little screen time (this plot would only require like… a 3 minute intro scene with him and then he could be absent until the last 5 minutes) as was speculated.
Since we know Secret Wars and Battleworld are coming, I would imagine this all ends in the avengers failing and Loki eventually having to leave the throne to try to take care of it himself. This, of course, would lead to the multiverse falling apart and it would also leave the Citadel open to being taken over by someone else while he’s gone (likely Doom). And you know what? Maybe that was his plan all along- to goad Loki into leaving the throne so he could steal it. Who knows.
I’m curious as to what Loki’s role would be in Secret Wars if this happens though. If the timelines all fell apart because he left, that would cause some massive guilt for him. If Doom is now on his throne, there must be something stopping him from just popping in and removing him lol. Maybe he doesn’t realise someone else is occupying the Citadel for awhile? Maybe he’s weak from all the power sucking and has to regain his strength? Maybe there’s something else at play- hostages, new multiverse logic, emotional stuff? I have no idea.
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shepscapades · 1 year ago
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I realized that we don't know when the events of the song sequence occur in the story. It could be Xisuma, either because of his helmet or he got a scar because his helmet broke. Or it could be someone else who got a scar later on. Hmmm.
. (thoughts in tags!)
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dollypopup · 11 months ago
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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!
like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.
and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye
you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .
when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?
if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self
and that's that on that
#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion#tagging it#polin#sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired#of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag#and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc#you can't change my mind#if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market#realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market#try to get over him w/ whomstever#but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here#i am asleep#and i am courting colin in your place pen#i'm coming for your man#anti debling#if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead#it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity#and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves#and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto#so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more#and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love#which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do#anyways y'all ain't slick#and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??
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qoldenskies · 4 months ago
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What are your boundaries when it comes to your fanfics?
do not repost my work anywhere and do not interpret the writing of platonic/familial relationships as romantic/sexual 👍all that i ask for
im not someone with very concrete boundaries on the things that i write, despite my vicious horrendous brainrot i have not put so much emotional connection into my work that im super protective of it (there are some other people who are, and that is completely valid, im just not one of them!!). fandom is for creativity and expanding on each other's ideas, pretty much anything derivative of my work is DEEPLY flattering to me. fanart, or fics of my fics, aus of my aus, or even things like taking and writing a concept/premise that i've already written? i love that shit go for it!!! (i mean i dont think im uber original or anything, but inspiration is more than okay, expand on my work all you want if that's what you wanna do)
truly im flattered to be asked this question at all!! all that i ask is that if you do any of the above is CAN I SEE IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL
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canisonicscrewyou · 6 months ago
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I just think some of you don't actually care about trans rights and liberation for everyone. I'm starting to think some of you believe YOU personally should be left alone and respected.. But you also get to be the bully who's mean to other trans people and justified, encouraged even to do so, because oppression.
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arikihalloween · 1 year ago
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What if I started randomly reblogging the post with lore that people missed ?
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echo-starflower · 7 months ago
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If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!
Hello!!!! Thank you for the ask mystery person!! ^w^
Three fun facts about me! o(^▽^)o
1. I play three different instruments! In order of proficiency: Piano, Ukulele, and Ocarina! I’m also learning guitar and violin! though out of all music things singing is my favorite haha! (I also play kazoo and ottamatone but both of those are just for the memes heh)
2. I’ve been playing dungeons and dragons since I was 11! I learned at hacker camp and went back home bursting with energy at the idea of getting to wield magic and go on adventures with my friends! Been playing regularly since then and it’s led to meeting so many fascinating people world wide I never would have otherwise! Including my best friend!
And finally 3! I have dyed my hair 11 times! (Not counting touch ups) it’s been pink 6 times (including currently!) purple 2 times and blue three! (Does blue count if it always turns out greenish gray? /silly)
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redstrewn · 2 years ago
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Part of me is team "leander is like that to everyone" bc he also plans to recruit MC into his Bloodhounds in the future ("not yet"). Despite knowing the Bloodhounds for years he isn't close to them. Makes me think he ups the charm and seduction to anyone who may be of use to him to get them to pledge their allegiance.
#his jealousy could be because he wants this power to be something he owns and not be taken away by anyone else#the emotional exclusivity (from touch) is a bonus to his egotistical nature#but idk...who knows.....#it just doesnt make sense for me that he instantly holds genuine affection just because of touch. because what about all#the other people he knows aside from the other LIs who have left him? why would MC be special other than what their power could#do for him and how their touch boosts his ego?#love at first sight doesnt exist in a world like this. but maybe obsession is.#redstrewn leandering#youre telling me not ONE person has been tender with him in all these years? while he acts like THAT???#i dont believe it#“love will never end” in the audio files is the only thing that is standing in the way of this theory of mine. but maybe it's one-sided.#if this is too upsetting feel free to ignore me im just projecting my emotional defense pessimism onto this character#it simply makes no sense to me that being the one exclusively touched is what makes him genuinely in love#it simply makes no sense to me that this is the first time hes been treated tenderly#i have met too many ppl like him#they make u feel sooo special and then SIKE it never rly mattered who u are. just what u could do for them#the difference is hes hot and big and buff and has no regard for the laws of his universe and will inevitably eat shit#ofc im hooked. i wanna see him eat shit. also kiss him#ofc this is a ROMANCE game and hes still a love interest. but i think his true romantic feelings might come later
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neverbeforeandneversince · 10 months ago
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do you ever… appreciate other people’s intellect but just want to experience songs without a preconceived meaning?
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ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 1 year ago
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It continues to trip me up how much human brains are just weird organic computers
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#additionally wild that the easiest ways for me to explain brain stuff are generally in computer or video game terms despite the fact I’m#notoriously awful with computers (and to a lesser extent video games) although I won’t if my natural inclination would be different if I#didn’t have trauma related to computers/if maybe it’s the classic adhd interest based learning difference? unknown tbh#I still really wanna go to school to study people but academics is fucked as hell so making that work will be a personal hell for me#but also I have so many theories and data I can’t do anything super tangible with coz I’m not in an academic setting so even if i wanted to#talk about stuff and work on it no one would take me seriously w/o that academic background no matter how much effort I’d put in learning it#on my own for my entire life at this point it won’t matter if it’s not on some level acknowledged by an academic system I despise tbh#it’s one of those things that makes me miss my dad coz we used to commiserate together about these sorts of things tho he made it work far#better than I have been able to. i wish i could ask him science questions again.#anyway human brains are so fascinating but also I really wish I was better at explaining myself analysis of people I feel like I’m good#enough at this point to be like partway understood coz I’ve done so much practice on my own coz I tend to rehearse explanations ahead of tim#but its still often misunderstood or misconstrued & it’s understandable a lot of the time coz like most other people aren’t spending a ton#of their free time thinking about and researching how people work/analyzing those around them+themselves vs me whose been doing since like#I dont remember the exact time but I do remember being really young & making the conscious decision to study & analyze my family for example#so that I could be helpful & translate their words to each other better + ppl often don’t see things about themselves that others do#also forever thinking about the human brain/experience in relation to the sims & video game commands lmao#currently trying to explain save states in the human brain to ppl but no one knows wtf I’m talking about#& researching academic terms that are close to what I want doesn’t necessarily work if there’s no academic term for what I’m talking about#hence wanting to do the research myself coz sometimes it feels like there’s all this stuff that’s obvious to me but no one else?? from what#I’ve seen in recent studies they are only starting to scratch the surface of stuff I’ve already known sometimes? other stuff is older & it’s#VERY gratifying when it’s stuff I’ve known but not been listened to about & it actually gets the proper recognition#though getting ppl to actually listen/take what I say seriously is its own journey & I have to be careful myself bc I’m human so my own#understanding/data is constantly updating + I have storage issues so finding the data I have in my brain is its own struggle sometimes#every version of me is interested in people & I think that’s neat even if other people don’t understand that concept#sometimes I feel like an alien/robot whose sole task is just to study & support humanity & it’s very weird tbh
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